#HOLE HOLE HOLE HOLE

[the-muppet-joker]

my liege has hole arrived

MY BOX MY PACKAGE MY DELIVERY MY KERMIT MY PLUSHIE MY IMMORTAL MY LOVE

he is here .

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[a-random-fandom-friend]

Because of Re: Carmilla, I thought you all would enjoy my edition of Carmilla :

The holes go all the way through, the sides of the book are red, and on some pages the text is colored red just under the holes !

I was so happy when I found it in a little french bookshop specialized in queer texts ❤️

[gooselycharm]

SISYPHUS GETS A 9 TO 5

[spoilers for all of severance season 1. words by northernlion, brain worms by me]

[shinesurge]

Honestly I can tell you finding out art was made by AI really does immediately, legitimately sour it for me, like people will trot this out as a Gotcha for anti-AI people but it's just making it clear they don't consider art to be the conversation that it is lol. It's similar to the way Harry Potter immediately soured for me because engaging with it while knowing the kind of heart Rowling is writing from changes the way the work feels; there isn't any moralizing or whatever that I have to do, it's easy to drop it because it's rotted in my hands.

"Oh but you LIKED this song before, nothing changed!" The conversational partner did. A very large portion of what is interesting to me about art is thinking of why the creator chose that instrumentation, or what made them want to make the thing in the first place. Finding out I've been talking to a wall completely removes an entire third of the force that art is to me, and I can't argue that anything about art or its consumption is Objectively Correct but I can argue it's fucking boring lmao

[hansoeii]

A latte with lots of love!

[unavernales]

[ OVERSIZED ]: sender is wearing receiver's oversized hoodie or shirt with nothing underneath. to possibly start off venus n furious,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

🫵 homo /derogatory

"hm, what fossil did you have to excavate to get this?" furious mumbles as he turns to see venus in an embarrassingly old cannibal corpse shirt. he must have bought it in high school, he thinks as he thumbs at the hem. stole it, he corrects himself internally. it's oversized on them, touching their thighs meanwhile it's been a snug fit for himself. attention thoroughly diverted from the breakfast he's preparing, the guitarist pulls venus in with a hand at the small of their back.

a kiss follows. slow, warm. intimate. threatening to lead to furious bending him over the kitchen counter for their 19th round. that hand slips under to caress venus's skin. so soft. bare. sweet.

"you hungry?" asked into their lips. it's been a while since he's had someone in his bed, but it's... nice. especially when that someone is as pretty as venus.

[laurelnose]

did you know that the well-known factoid that male anglerfishes degenerate after attachment until they’re basically just a pair of testes is false? i knew of course that they don’t just become “growths” on the female because I’ve handled dozens of attached pairs and every male I’ve ever seen has been very much obviously a whole and complete second fish, but I sort of assumed there was internal degeneration, perhaps muscle atrophy, etc. i can’t believe no one ever corrected me on this but this just doesn’t happen. in obligatorily parasitic species, the male actually continues to grow and increases considerably in size after he attaches to the female, because the two of them can only reach sexual maturity together. me, an octavia butler fan: is this the height of romance??

what is true is that attached males do have hugely enlarged testes proportionate to the rest of their bodies & organs, and that they receive all nutrition from the female’s bloodstream so their stomachs are always empty, though their own gills seem to still be functional, as are their fins and muscles—you can even induce movement and swimming motions on recently dead attached males. I can only assume that at some point someone said that basically the only biological function a male anglerfish needs to perform is sperm production and this got taken out of context and luridly exaggerated over time. he’s not just a pair of testicles! he’s her forever partner! one flesh one end!

[villainessbian]

is this anything

[v4mpire1994]

[yuumei-art]

Happy Holidays! I hope you all get to eat an endless amount of good food like your stomach is a blackhole!

[theupfish]

The ozone layer is not only healing, but will likely be back to its 1980-state within a Millennial's lifetime

[barbrububble]

Some useful chaperon info! I genuinely had no idea it's basically a sideways hood haha. Now its' structure finally makes sense.

[likevanillaicys]

me all day at school

[soapbbox]

Like does the high guard know about what’s been going on or

Technically a continuation of this