#HOW IS HE KASHIWAGI I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE

[zaddyazula]

YOU WHAT.

[maddogofshimano]

A Man’s Promise: Daigo Scratcher Event

Daigo time! Look at these fancy new cards (and karaoke Akiyama, who is the scratcher prize for some reason)

This one ended up being much longer and funnier than I expected, and we get to see Daigo being kind of cool!

Summary: Daigo goes to investigate rumors of Omi Alliance remnants in the outskirts of Kamurocho. He bumps into an old friend turned enemy and gets tangled up in the unintended difficulties the Tojo-Omi war has caused for a local elementary school.

<a certain day in 2006>

With the conflict between the Tojo and the Omi coming to an end, on the outskirts of Kamurocho, the root of the conflict between east and west is still smoldering.

Daigo: The remnants of the Omi Alliance are still around Kamurocho? Is that true?

Yayoi: Yes, that's the current situation as far as we've been able to tell. Even though things are finished, one group has rallied and refuses to accept the outcome. Daigo: Tch, those asshole...! Kashiwagi: Just to be safe, I've informed the clan members to be ready to move out war at any time--at least until this dispute is settled. I'd like to avoid further burdening our members with this.

Daigo: ....Then let's see how those assholes like dealing with me. Yayoi: Daigo, what are you planning on doing? Daigo: I'm going to smoke out those Omi remnants and drive them back to kansai. Kashiwagi: We need to avoid getting into a second conflict with the Omi. Daigo: Yeah... I got that. <Daigo heads out> Daigo: (Well, talking about hunting down the Omi remnants is all well and good, and they're supposed to be in Kamurocho's outskirts) Daigo: (But how the hell am I supposed to find the bastards...)

???: Aniki. Daigo: You're... Shitamura? (Tl note: could also be Shimomura or Shikukira or probably a bunch of other readings but that's what I'm going with. No clue if he’s been in anything else, I don’t recognize the name!)

Shitamura: You really remember me? Shitamura: When I heard my aniki had gone and become the head of the whole Tojo Clan, I figured you'd have forgotten all about me. Daigo: When you conspired with the other side, I was crushed. I haven't forgotten you at all. Shitamura: Haha, you remember stuff from that long ago? Shitamura: By the way aniki, do you think ya could put in a good word for me to join the Tojo Clan? Shitamura: I'm sure you can see that I'd be useful to you. Daigo: You better think carefully before making jokes like that. Daigo: Do you think I'd deal with a double-crossing man like that? Shitamura: Oh, is that so. Well if the Tojo Clan doesn't take me, won't that mean I have no choice but to work with the Omi? Shitamura: You understand the situation, right? Shitamura: There's still a considerable number of Omi remnants hangin' around Kamurocho. Shitamura: I'm holdin' my breath until the Tojo Clan gets tripped up by it. Daigo: What do you know about the Omi remnants? Shitamura: Who can say? Daigo: So that's how it is. If you want to join the Omi, that's fine. Shitamura: What? Daigo: Go join whatever organization you please. I don't have any right to stop you. Daigo: However, if you join the Tojo and betray them in favor of the Omi... Daigo: I'm destroy you with every ounce of my strength. Shitamura: Oooh, scary. Seems that you're the one tellin' jokes now. Daigo: It's fine if you think it's a joke... but it's not. Shitamura: Wait, where are ya going? We're not done talkin', right?

Daigo: I have to investigate the Omi remnants. I don't have time to deal with you. <Daigo leaves> Shitamura: Shit. I gotta get back on the right track! (Tl note: struggling here. 調子に乗りおってからに!) Daigo: (I've been talking to people for a long time, but no one seems to know anything about the Omi remnants.) Daigo: (Is it already that late? I'll have to make another try tomorrow, then. Hm? That's....) Daigo: Hey, what are you doing out this late? (Tl note: I very briefly thought this was the same kid as in Haruka's scratcher lmao)

Takashi: ...Who are you, old man? Daigo: You can call me Daigo. And you are? Takashi: ....Takashi. Daigo: I see.... Hey, Takashi, you should hurry up and go home, won't your parents get worried? Takashi: Leave me alone. Daigo: Well that's not going to happen. It isn't good for a kid like you to be out this late--especially when loitering by yourself, this street is hard to call safe. Daigo: So go home, I'm sure you have homework to do. Takashi: ...But, I don't want to go to school anymore. Daigo: Do you get bullied at school? Takashi: That's not it. Daigo: Well then, will you tell me why you don't want to go to school? Takashi: The event I planned just got cancelled. Daigo: Event? Takashi: It's a scratch card event, you could even win a prize. Takashi: I went and handed out scratch cards to all the old folks on this street. Takashi: If someone won, they'd get one of the rings or necklaces we all made as a prize. Daigo: So why did it get cancelled? Takashi: Because a bunch of scary old men are having a big fight in Kamurocho. Daigo: ....................... Takashi: If we held the event, we'd all get dragged into their fighting... Takashi: So, we had to cancel it. Daigo: So that's what happened. Takashi: All that planning we did? It ended up being for nothing... Takashi: We spent all of our free time after school doing our best making those scratchers... Daigo: ...But, the fighting is already over. If you held it now, there shouldn't be an issue, right? Takashi: We can't. Those scary old guys are still loitering around our school. Daigo: What? Takashi: They lost the fight but they said that even then they won't run away. Daigo: ....Takashi, which school do you go to? Takashi: Ochiyama Elementary. (Tl note: Literally "falling mountain" which is a really funny name for an elementary school) Daigo: (Ochiyama... that is a little bit outside of Kamurocho) Daigo: (Kashiwagi-san did say they were on the outskirts of Kamurocho, so are the Omi remnants hiding out at Ochiyama.....?) Takashi: Since the event I planned was cancelled... After all of our hard work........ Takashi: Everyone tells me that these things can't be helped.... but that just makes me feel worse.... Takashi: So that's why I want to stop going to school...... Daigo: (This kid.... I can't help but feel responsible for this.....) Daigo: ....Go on home for tonight. I'm sure your parents are worried. Takashi: But! Daigo: It'll be okay if you go home. Takashi: If you keep saying that I'll just go somewhere else. There's a lot of other places I can hang out.... Daigo: That's, uhh... Takashi: See ya. Thanks for worrying about me. But, I'm not going to go home. Daigo: ....If I go talk to your school and get them to run the event, will that make you go home? Takashi: Eh! Really? You'll talk to the old guys there so the event can happen!? Daigo: Yes, I promise. Takashi: Sure, I'll go home then! But don't you forget your promise, okay? Daigo: A real man isn't a backstabber. <the following day> Teacher: Principal, there's a guest here to see you. (Tl note: oh my god Daigo. imagine being this poor principal and the chairman of the local yakuza shows up like "hey you gotta run this scratcher event the kids worked really hard on it :(" I would die)

Daigo: Pardon the intrusion, Principal. 

Principal: So, which student are you here about? Daigo: I'm... a member of the Tojo Clan's Dojima Family.  Principal: T-Tojo clan...!? Daigo: I've come here today to make a request. Daigo: The event that the children thought of, can I get your approval on it being run? Principal: The... event? Daigo: The scratcher event. We've heard that it was cancelled. Principal: It's true that the event was cancelled.... But why are you interested? Principal: I think people like you have meddled with the children's event more than enough. Daigo: There's no deep meaning behind it. Really, we just can't forgive ourselves if we disadvantage children like this. Principal: Oh... So you're sticking to your own principles. Principal: You should know that the event was cancelled because of a yakuza attack in the vicinity. Principal: Do you think that by doing this you will end up causing us more trouble? Daigo: (There shouldn't be anybody on the turf around here. So that means it is the Omi remnants...) Daigo: .....I promise the children will be safe. So please, allow the event to happen. Principal: I can't trust in the promise of a yakuza. Principal: I can't stand to see a school become so noisy anyways. I was only doing the event for the board of education. Principal: Now, even if I run such an event, my evaluation won't get any better... Daigo: Oi, Principal... Daigo: Didn't you hear me? Principal: Huh? What? Daigo: I'm telling you that if there's any problem at all I'm here to clean it up. So there's no problem from you, right? Principal: O-Oh, right, that's what you said, sir. H-Ha ha... Daigo: Of course, Principal. I'm glad we're understanding each other.

Daigo: Well, I'm off. I look forward to working with you after this. <Daigo leaves> Principal: Hoo... What the hell, why me..... Why do I have to suffer through meeting someone like that...!

<A few days later>

Takashi: Mister!

Daigo: Ah, Takashi. Takashi: We're going to have our event! You really did keep your promise! Daigo: It's like I said. A real man never double crosses. Takashi: You're right. Thank you! Well, I gotta go prepare! <Takashi leaves> Daigo: Heh... I can hardly believe he was so depressed before. <Daigo's phone rings> Daigo: Hm? My phone is... This is Daigo. Principal: I-It's me. The principal at Uchiyama Elementary. Daigo: Ah, you. Have you decided to open the event? Daigo: I'll owe you one for this. As thanks. Principal: A-About that, just now a bunch of mean looking men just entered the school. Principal: They came in here to ask about you, and what we talked about. Daigo: What? What do you mean? Principal: I told them why you were here, and they stole all of the scratchers for the event tomorrow... (Tl note: rggo actually fucked up on this and marked this as Daigo dialogue when it clearly isn't lol) Daigo: All the scratchers were stolen? What the hell, who does something like that... Principal: The man, he was named Shitamura. Daigo: Shitamura huh.... And he took all of the scratchers? Principal: That's correct..... every single scratch card the children made, they're all gone, so the event won't be able to happen... Daigo: Shitamura, that bastard... What is he playing at...... Principal: That person did ask me to pass along a message.... Daigo: A message? Principal: He said he'll be waiting at Kamurocho's Batting Center... Daigo: Got it. I'll head there right away. <Daigo goes> Shitamura: Yo, aniki. Ya kept me waitin'.

Daigo: Shitamura, why the hell did you steal all the scratchers those kids mad? Shitamura: Why, to lure you here... I knew you'd have no choice. Daigo: What? Shitamura: There's a lotta people that have a grudge against ya. Omi Member: Hehe. It's about time we repaid the favor. Daigo-san.

Daigo: Seriously, you're... Shitamura: Yep. A buncha Omi men. Me, I actually decided that the Omi was the better deal. Daigo: Shitamura, you fucker... Shitamura: C'mon, I saw ya goin' into that Ochiyama Elementary school. Shitamura: And I got to wonderin' what that was about, and boy was I surprised when I got the story from the principal. Shitamura: My aniki, who's got a glare that could scare a cryin' kid into silence, is off doin' all this cause of a brat. Shitamura: Everyone's been sayin' ya lost your edge when ya went back to the Tojo Clan. Daigo: It doesn't matter what you think of me. Just hand over the scratch cards already. Daigo: Those kids worked real hard making them. Shitamura: Do you think bein' told soft shit like that will make me hand 'em over? Daigo: What are you hoping for, asshole? Shitamura: You're so cold to me. You really gotta let go of that grudge. Shitamura: For now the good people of the Omi want to get some payback. Shitamura: Of course, not even you can handle this number of people. Daigo: ....Well, we'll see. Shitamura: I'll let you in on something, as a final gift to take to your grave. Shitamura: That rumor about the Omi remnants hiding out around Kamurocho, I was the one who planted that. Daigo: What? Shitamura: That's why ya didn't find any Omi sniffin' around Ochiyama. Daigo: Then why is the Omi wandering around Ochiyama Elementary? Shitamura: That's just to extort cash from the principal. Shitamura: That principal is neck deep in gamblin' debt with the Omi. Daigo: So, the only one lurking around the school was you? Shitamura: Exactly. The remnants of the Omi was just a hoax to catch you off guard--and it seems like you, soon-to-be chairman, have fallen for the bait. Shitamura: Once I kill ya, my cred with the Omi will go through the roof. Daigo: So when you approached me about joining the Tojo, that was a ruse too? Shitamura: Yep, if I could get closer to you, I could get more info on the Tojo. Shitamura: The Omi pays top dollar for that kinda stuff. Daigo: Seems your backstabbing is alive and well. Honestly, I'm relieved to hear that. Shitamura: Why's that? Daigo: Since it was only a rumor that remnants were hiding, the Tojo can stand down from it's war preparations. Daigo: One more thing, none of you fuckers understand a damn thing about why I went into that elementary school. Daigo: So don't trust in your own power so much. Shitamura: ....Is that so. Shitamura: Though if the next chairmen died here, that would be a big problem for the Tojo, right? Daigo: Me, die? I already told you to think before you say stupid shit. Shitamura: Oh, well ain't you full of yourself? Shitamura: The Omi has a big grudge over the war. Think they're gonna be happy with a settlement? Daigo: I understand... It's on me to remind them about why the Tojo Clan is feared. Shitamura: Excellent, let's fuck this bastard up!

<EVENT START>

Shitamura: H-How the hell'dya win against that many people!

Daigo: It doesn't matter how many weaklings you gather. It's pretty sloppy of you if you're only noticing that now.

Shitamura: Shit! Daigo: With that out of the way, hand over the scratchers. Shitamura: What the hell.... Why's a guy like you want to help some elementary school event...... Daigo: I made a promise to a kid. I'm going to make sure that event happens. Shitamura: Th-That's it....? Daigo: I told that kid I was making a promise to him as a man. That's plenty of reason. Shitamura: Ha, hahaha.....! Daigo: What's so funny? Shitamura: ......I was small-minded in hinderin' ya, I think. There couldn't be more difference in the kind of man you 'n' I are. Shitamura: I wanna stop bein' a yakuza. Daigo: That's a good idea. Shitamura: The scratchers are stashed in this locker. ...Well, I'm off for good. Enjoy yourself, aniki. Daigo: Sure... <cut away> Kashiwagi: Pardon the intrusion.

Principal: A-And you are? Kashiwagi: Greetings, I'm Kashiwagi, member of the Tojo Clan. Principal: A-Another from the Tojo Clan... What do you want this time? Kashiwagi: I have something to deliver to you. <a soft thump of paper hitting the table> Principal: Th-This is...? Kashiwagi: 3,000,000 yen. Please accept it. Principal: Eh!? W-Why are you giving this to me...? Kashiwagi: Our next chairman is indebted to you for your assistance. Principal: Next... chairman? Kashiwagi: A young man by the name of Daigo Dojima. He came here, right? Principal: That fucker- ah, I mean, that gentleman, he's going to be the Tojo Clan's chairman..... Principal: Wow. I had no idea who visited me.... or that I'd get so much money........ Kashiwagi: Please don't trouble yourself with that. This money has no strings attached. Please continue on exactly as you were before. Principal: I-I just don't understand this... Kashiwagi: You listened to our soon to be chairman's request. This is the reward. Principal: Th-That was really worth 3 million yen? Kashiwagi: The next chairman, for some reason he really enjoyed that event for the children. Kashiwagi: Without you, he wouldn't have been as enthusiastic about starting out..... You understand, right? Principal: Uh-.... right, I got it! Absolutely, I pushed through anyone who voiced opposition! Kashiwagi: The next time you hold an event, the next chairman would be thrilled to take part. You have the gratitude of all of us, Principal. Principal: Ha, haha... Th-That sounds great! How could I ever refuse something like that... ha ha ha............. Kashiwagi: ......Around here, Omi remnants have been appearing frequently--which is your fault. <Music cuts out> Principal: ..................Eh? <Music gets ominous> Kashiwagi: You know they've been coming by wanting to collect on the money you blew on gambling and playing around. Kashiwagi: That's why, in order to collect that money, Omi have been loitering around the vicinity... Kashiwagi: Therefore, the real reason the children's event was cancelled, is you. Principal: Well.... that's.... Kashiwagi: Furthermore, you've been hiding this fact--hoping that the Tojo Clan might wipe out the Omi around the school before the cause of it ever came to light... Kashiwagi: But it didn't, and I think you've made this very difficult for us. Did I miss anything? Principal: ..................... Kashiwagi: ........Come now, to hold the children's event a dangerous group like the Omi was wiped out.... Kashiwagi: So it's all done and dusted... wouldn't you say, principal? Principal: Y-Y-Yes sir....? Kashiwagi: If something like this happens again... We'll have no choice but to bring down the hammer. Do you understand what I'm saying? Principal: O-Of course.... Something like this will never, ever, ever happen again, I swear..... Kashiwagi: Well, I'm thankful you understand things now. Coming here today was a good idea after all. Principal: Y-Yes sir... From now on I'm going to be on the straight and narrow.... Absolutely..... Kashiwagi: Haha, no need to go that far. ....Just make sure you don't cause problems for people again and you'll keep living just fine, Principal. Principal: Y-Yes sir... Of course....! Kashiwagi: If you'll excuse me then. I'll drop by to visit some other time. <Kashiwagi leaves> Principal: Hahahaha.... haaa....... I'm.... going to stop gambling..... <cut to the park> Takashi's friend: Takashi-kun. The scratcher event was a huge success! All the old men and ladies on this street loved it! Takashi: Yeah. Did everyone have fun?

Takashi's friend: Yeah, of course! Takashi: Nice! I better get thinking of how to make the next event even more interesting, it'll be so fun! Daigo: ...............

Man in black: Daigo-san, are we going to continue watching these children? (Tl note: BRO your own bodyguard calls you by first name???) Daigo: No, there doesn't seem to be any more Omi in this area. There's no need for further observation. Man in black: Understood. <Man leaves, Daigo gets a phone call> Daigo: Kashiwagi-san, what is it? Kashiwagi: I've just received information that a foreign mafia group is trying to expand into Kamurocho. Kashiwagi: Daigo, we need you back at HQ to start developing counter measures. Daigo: Got it, I'll be there shortly. <hangs up> Daigo: (It's just one thing after another huh... Well, this is the responsibility that comes with my position....) Daigo: (The job of the Tojo Clan's 6th Chairman, a role I'm starting to step up to)

<END>

Bonus time: 

can you imagine what that principal is going through. I know he’s a shit head and kind of deserved it but it’s just so so so funny to see Daigo and Kashiwagi bullying this guy

the most important thing about the entire event is that the scratchers looked like this

please enjoy a faceapp by @majimemegoro​ as well that made me wheeze

finally he can smile and not look like it’s hurting him immensely to do so

[cryingcow]

Character Story - Yayoi [RGGO]

I’m gonna stop simping over Zhongli for now and post this XD For our next beautiful lady: the one and only surviving sword mom in the series! :D

Story: After Terada dies, someone needs to be the Fifth Acting Chairman.

Kashiwagi: “Since Terada got murdered and I got attacked and whoever is the leader now would most likely get killed, I would like your son Daigo to be the Fifth Acting Chairman.”

Yayoi: “. . . You’re not exactly being persuasive here.”

.

CHAPTER 1

.

|In 2006, five years after getting arrested for violating the Firearms and Swords Act, Dojima Daigo went to Osaka to take revenge against God Ryuji. Daigo, who was excommunicated from the clan and abandoned by his former friends, devotes himself to a life of drinking alone.|

Daigo: “Oi . . . I’m out of liquor.”

Waiter: “Y-Yes . . . Here you go.”

Daigo: “. . .”

Yayoi: “. . . Daigo.”

Daigo: “. . . Why did you come here.”

Yayoi: “Even though everything’s over . . . how long do you plan on living like this? It wasn’t Kiryu who killed that person . . . you already know that. Did Kiryu really leave the Tojo Clan? In that case, you shouldn’t be drinking.”

Daigo: “. . . I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please go home.”

Yayoi: “What did you say . . . ?”

Daigo: “Whatever I’m doing has nothing to do with you.”

Yayoi: “Nothing to do with me . . . ? It’s natural for parents to worry about their son.”

Daigo: “Hmph . . . now it’s just the mother’s side.”

Yayoi: “! . . .”

[Daigo gets up and leaves.}

Yayoi: “Daigo . . . !”

----

Yayoi: “. . . Mother’s side.”

Yayoi: (. . . It’s no wonder Daigo says that. Since long ago, I and that person have made Daigo feel very lonely because of the clan . . . Now, I’m not the one who can guide that child. Only Kiryu . . . can do it . . .)

Malicious Catcher: “Good evening Onee-san! What’s with the wrinkles between your eyebrows~? Is something wrong? Do you want to be surrounded by good-looking guys? Huh?”

Yayoi: “Get lost. I’m in a bad mood right now.”

Malicious Catcher: “Huh? Don’t say that, won’t you join us? Well? Come on!”

Yayoi: “Hmph. . . . Don’t complain if you die.”

{Yayoi presumably stabs the guy several times.}

Malicious Catcher: “Hiiii!! M-Murderer!! She isn’t human! Somebody help~!”

Yayoi: “. . . Tch.”

----

Yayoi: (What am I going to do with Daigo . . .)

?: “Guh . . . !”

Yayoi: “Hm . . . ?”

Kashiwagi: “Haa . . . Haa . . .”

Yayoi: “Kashiwagi . . . ?! Kashiwagi, there’s blood on your arm . . . ! Wait right there, I’ll do first aid. Let’s get you to a hospital quick.”

Kashiwagi: “No, it’s fine now. I’m sorry Neesan . . . guh . . . !”

Yayoi: “. . . What on earth happened?”

Kashiwagi: “I was ambushed earlier.  . . . by a killer from the Omi Alliance.”

Yayoi: “Omi . . . ?!”

.

-END-

.

CHAPTER 2

Yayoi: “Someone from the Omi Alliance tried to kill you . . . ? What do you mean?”

Kashiwagi: “. . . Actually, the Fifth Chairman was shot today by someone from the Omi Alliance.”

Yayoi: “Terada . . . ?!”

Kashiwagi: “Yes . . . He was immediately transported by an ambulance, but . . . he died.”

Yayoi: “What’s that . . . ?”

Kashiwagi: “The head family will be happy to have support from you, so I was looking for you with regards that matter. But in the middle of doing that, I was attacked by a hitman, and this is what happened. The Omi is trying to crush us in one go.”

Yayoi: “Is that so . . . so why were you looking for me?”

Kashiwagi: “. . . Neesan, I have something to discuss with you.”

Man with Kansai Dialect: “Found you, Kashiwagi!”

Kashiwagi: “. . . tch. Did they chase me down?”

Yayoi: “Kashiwagi. Is this the guy who hurt you?”

Kashiwagi: “Yeah . . . he caught me off guard.”

Omi Hitman: “This time I’ll stab you, Acting Captain of the Tojo Clan!”

{Yayoi and Kashiwagi kick their ass.}

Omi Hitman: “Damn it . . . !”

Kazama Family: “Boss!”

Omi Hitman: “. . . tch, are those reinforcements?”

{The hitman runs away.}

Kazama Family Member A: “Wait!”

Kazama Family member B: “Boss! Are you okay?”

Kashiwagi: “Yeah, they just got my arm. You guys . . . don’t tell anyone about this. I want to avoid making the flames of war even bigger.”

Kazama Family member B: “. . . Yes, boss.”

Kashiwagi: “Let’s go somewhere else, Neesan. We can’t talk here.”

----

Bar Master: “Take your time . . .”

Yayoi: “. . . So, Kashiwagi. What’s this story you have to tell me?”

Kashiwagi: “. . . I’ll be straightforward. I would like to ask Daigo to be the Fifth Acting Chairman.”

Yayoi: “Daigo as Acting Chairman . . . ?!”

Kashiwagi: “. . . Yes.”

Yayoi: “You . . . after what happened between Daigo and the Omi . . . ?!”

Kashiwagi: “. . . I am well aware of that. The Fifth Chairman was killed, and even I, acting as the Junior Head, was attacked . . . To be the ‘face’ of the head family now would be like walking up to the execution stand.”

Yayoi: “. . . And knowing that, you want to put it on Daigo’s back . . .”

Kashiwagi: “The Tojo Clan is currently a mess. But the Omi will not wait for us. We need someone to be a monolith as soon as possible. To do that, we need a suitable leader. I’m ashamed to say, but it can’t be me. But Daigo is a vessel that people can rely on. He will surely pull the Tojo Clan together. So, I wanted to talk to you about it first. Please . . . please understand.”

Yayoi: “. . . I understand what you’re saying. Then, I have a suggestion. Will you listen?”

Kashiwagi: “A suggestion . . . ?”

.

-END-

.

CHAPTER 3

Kashiwagi: “. . . Neesan, is that really okay?”

Yayoi: “Yeah. I’m not going back on my word.”

Kashiwagi: “. . . Understood.”

Yayoi: “But, can you give me some time?”

----

Daigo: “Oi! I’m out of alcohol! Bring more quickly!”

Man in Black Clothes: “C-Customer, if you drink too much . . . !”

{Yayoi and Kashiwagi appear.}

Daigo: “?! . . .”

Daigo: “Why is Kashiwagi-san here?”

Yayoi: “. . . Daigo. There’s something we want to tell you.”

Daigo: “. . . I don’t want to talk to you.”

Kashiwagi: “Daigo . . . be careful of how you talk.”

Daigo: “Shut up. I don’t want to get involved with anything anymore-”

{Yayoi slaps Daigo.}

Daigo: “Guh?!”

Kashiwagi: “Ah, Neesan . . . !”

Yayoi: “You don’t need to get involved, Kashiwagi. Club Manager, I’m sorry, but I’m going to rampage. Stand up, Daigo. I’m not saying this to you as a parent. I’m just angry with the idiot who drinks alone at this time.”

Daigo: “. . . What did you call me . . . !”

Yayoi: “Come on, clench your teeth!!”

{Yayoi whoops Daigo’s ass.}

Daigo: “Guh . . . !”

Yayoi: “You’re an idiot. You’re so drunk you can’t even walk properly.”

Yayoi: “. . . Daigo, Terada’s dead.”

Daigo: “. . .”

Yayoi: “He was killed by men from the Omi Alliance.  . . . There could be war.”

Daigo: “. . . So what. Are you telling me to go back?”

Yayoi: “. . . I’ve decided to become the Acting Chairman. I came here to tell you that.”

Daigo: “Acting Chairman . . . ?! Are you really saying . . . ?!”

Yayoi: “Yes. I’ll be taking over Terada’s position starting today. I will organize the Tojo Clan.”

Daigo: “What are you thinking?! I don’t think that’s sane . . .”

Yayoi: “Of course I’m aware of the danger. But I have no choice but to do this. So . . .”

Daigo: “You . . . I’m wondering what you can do for the clan.”

Yayoi: “. . . Daigo. I’ve been prepared for all this since I became his wife. Now . . . is the time.”

Daigo: “Guh . . . !!”

Yayoi: “. . . I just came by to say this. Let’s go, Kashiwagi.”

Kashiwagi: “. . . Yes.”

----

Yayoi: “. . .”

Kashiwagi: “. . . Is it okay, Neesan? Not to tell Daigo the truth.”

Yayoi: “It’s fine.”

Yayoi: “Then, I have a suggestion. Will you listen?”

Kashiwagi: “A suggestion . . . ?”

Yayoi: “Yes. The position of Acting Chairman . . . I want to take it on.”

Kashiwagi: “Neesan . . . ?!”

Yayoi: “Am I lacking the power?”

Kashiwagi: “. . . No. The breakthrough of the Dojima Family is only possible with the support of Neesan. Everyone knows that. You have a lot of trust from those at the bottom, and the perfect qualities to stand on top . . . I have no complaints. But . . . is that okay?”

Yayoi: “Like Daigo, I too have the qualities to carry the head family on my back. But for that child . . . he needs time to recover. It’s true that it is the role of parents to help their children.  . . . But I can’t do that. So . . . I want to offer up my life to give him that time. This is what I’ll do as the parent of my child.”

Kashiwagi: “. . . Neesan . . .”

Kashiwagi: “. . . Awkward people, both Daigo and Neesan.”

Yayoi: “Heh . . . that person was the same. Well, let’s go. Isn’t the head family huge? I need to start deciding future policies soon.  . . . I’m counting on you, Kashiwagi.”

Kashiwagi: “Yes. Your humble servant Kashiwagi will do his best to protect you, Fifth Acting Chairman!”

.

-END-

 Masterlist

[bi-naesala]

Little secret

Fandom: Yakuza

Rating: E

Warnings: /

Relationships: Nishikiyama Akira/Nishitani Homare Characters: Nishikiyama Akira, Nishitani Homare 

Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sugar Daddy Nishitani, Blow Jobs 

Summary:

There are some secrets that are worth keeping, Nishiki thinks. After all, how could he even begin to explain that he’s got an Omi guy so obsessed with him that he’s willing to spoil and buy him anything he wants?

(Also on AO3)

(Fic under read more)

There are some secrets that are worth keeping, Nishiki thinks, even if this mean having to lie to Kiryu of all people.

How could he even begin to explain that he’s got an Omi guy so obsessed with him that he’s willing to spoil and buy him anything he wants? Yeah, that would be a disastrous conversation for sure, he knows that already.

It’s not even that he’s afraid of being judged, because Kiryu wouldn’t do that to anyone, but it’s just that he’s not sure that he wouldn’t tell anyone. Not that he’s a snitch, but he could try something out of worry, which would involve spilling the beans to Kashiwagi or worse, Kazama, and then things would truly be bad.

So, next time Kiryu asks him if he wants to go out with him for a drink, he lies and says that he already has a date for the night, which isn’t the true lie, but when Kiryu asks him who he’s taking out, he says that it’s a new hostess that has taken a shine on him, which couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Kiryu looks convinced at least - it helps that he’s pretty gullible - and leaves the subject alone, content to make Nishiki promise that, next time, they’ll be the ones hanging out together.

  In a very weird way, Nishiki doesn’t find Sotenbori that dissimilar to Kamurocho: both are pretty shitty places with pretty shitty people.

The only difference is that here people tend to try to fuck with him more, since he doesn’t have the protection a Tojo clan pin can grant him - if he wore it here, it would do him more harm than good, so he never does - but that’s nothing that Nishiki can’t handle. Actually, it feels good to throw down once in a while, even though he’s never come to enjoy it as much as Kiryu does.

 Right when he’s done throwing the last one of the ruffians who thought it would be a good idea to mess with him, he hears a low whistle behind him. He turns around immediately, raising his fists already to keep his head protected, when he notices the person leaning against the wall, watching him with a hungry gaze.

“Well, well, well, Akira-kun… So that’s what you’ve been doing. I thought you were standing me up…”

Standing him up? What does he mean?

A quick check on his expensive watch - a gift from Nishitani - is enough to make him understand: he’s late, and not just by a few minutes! Ops, this fight has taken longer than he thought it would.

“I’m so sorry, Nishitani-san!” he apologizes immediately, bowing his head. It’s the first time something like this happens, but this doesn’t make Nishiki feel better, especially considering that he might lose his support, which he has grown accustomed too. Sure, he could leave without Nishitani’s money, but he would be sad about it. He thinks about the brand new car Nishitani has promised him if he’s good; what if he doesn’t buy it to him anymore?

Luckily for him, though, Nishitani doesn’t look mad as he approaches him and gets his arm around Nishiki’s waist.

“Aw, don’t be,” he says, leaning close to Nishiki’s neck, who shivers as he feels his breath ghosting against his skin. “Besides, I’ve got to watch a veeery good fight.”

A small chuckle escapes Nishiki’s lips. “Is that so?” he asks, exposing his neck further for Nishitani.

He gasps when Nishitani wastes no time biting down, leaving what he knows is a visible mark - he’s always been fond of marking his territory - but he doesn’t oppose any resistance, though when Nishitani pushes him against the wall, he can’t help but to roll his eyes, although he has to fight to suppress a smile.

“Here? Really?” he asks, trying to sound as done as he can.

“Why not?” Nishitani asks, pressing his hips against Nishiki’s. God, he’s hard already. “Ya’ve got me all fired up, babe.”

Nishiki knows this is a bad idea: what if the thugs he’s just knocked out come to their senses? What if somebody else walks in?

Despite his better judgement, however, Nishiki doesn’t find himself that against the idea as he should be. Nishitani’s rubbing off of him.

 He remembers Nishitani telling him that, deep down, they’re not that dissimilar, only that Nishiki still hasn’t realized it yet.

“It’s all in those eyes of yours. I can see what’s beyond them,” he said once, though Nishiki still doesn’t understand what he meant by that. He never thought he was hiding anything, though it is true that maybe he ain’t that good of a person, at least not like Kiryu is. Sweet Kiryu that has no problems beating up thugs, but then feels bad about scamming civilians, while Nishiki doesn’t. Maybe that’s just because someone like Kiryu shouldn’t be involved with the yakuza in the first place.

 Nishitani can barely contain his excitement as Nishiki drops to his knees, that much is evident. Nishiki just hopes it’ll be worth it, and that he isn’t getting his pants dirty - how would he explain getting stains only on his knees?

“Yes, good boy,” he drawls, cupping Nishiki’s cheek with a hand as the other works on his belt, then he moves it to Nishiki’s hair, caressing it. “Ever told ya how much I love yer hair?”

Nishiki does a cheeky grin, slowly pulling down the zipper. “You have, but I don’t mind hearing it again.”

“It’s so soft and pretty, I wanna pull it so much…”

He doesn’t even wait for Nishiki to say something before following on his words, forcing Nishiki to look up at him. It’s almost overwhelming to look at the adoration in Nishitani’s eyes, but Nishiki has gone so long without affection from the people he wanted it from that he’s drawn to it like a moth to a light; it’s what made him decide in favor of doing this whole thing in the first place.

“Yer so beautiful… I swear I’ll eat ya up someday.”

Despite his best effort not to - because it’ll make him appear easy and that’s not the impression Nishiki wants to give - he groans at those words, but before he can embarrass himself further, he gets to work.

 From the way he moans, Nishitani must be most pleased with how fast Nishiki pulls his cock out of his briefs, and especially on how fast he begins peppering it with kisses, travelling from base to tip, swirling then his tongue around it, eyes going up again to meet his gaze.

Nishitani’s so into it already, which makes Nishiki smirk. He can’t help it, he loves feeling this needed, this appreciated.

“Pretty boy…”

Knowing that Nishitani isn’t going to last long - he never does, but damn somehow he manages to always get it back up almost immediately - Nishiki decides to stop teasing, parting his lips and beginning to take his cock in his mouth.

He barely goes halfway that Nishitani, impatient already, thrusts his hips all the way, making Nishiki almost gag, but he manages to hold back, grabbing onto Nishitani thighs as he begins to fuck his mouth, relaxing his throat as much as he can to make things easier for himself.

 It’s always like this with Nishitani, and yet Nishiki would lie if he said that he’s not all for it. As much as he likes the attention and being wanted, there’s something else inside him that gets him all hot at the thought of being used, just like Nishitani is doing.

In a way, they are using each other: Nishitani is using him for sex, while Nishiki is using him for his money, although things have evolved past that point. Nishiki can safely say that what he feels for Nishitani is a deep affection, and there’s no way he could mistake the adoration Nishitani feels for him for anything else. It feels quite weird having gotten to this point, but it also feels good, so neither of them worries much about it.

 Nishitani’s close, Nishiki can hear it from the way his breathing is getting ragged, and by the way he begins praising Nishiki and how good he is - he always gets talkative when he’s about to come.

“So good, baby, so good… I should steal ya away and keep ya all to myself… My own pretty cocksucker…”

The more Nishitani keeps going, the more Nishiki feels himself getting hard in his pants, but he knows better than to try and do something about it. Not that Nishitani would be against him touching himself but, as he said once, he wants to be able to enjoy the show, but given their position he wouldn’t be able to do that well, so Nishiki tries his best to focus only on Nishitani’s pleasure and not his, knowing that, in the end, it’ll be worth it.

 When Nishitani comes, Nishiki swallows everything; he’s always been greedy.

He pulls away from the other’s spent cock, finally catching his breath but still making no move to get up, licking his lips instead, observing Nishitani and his reaction; that simple gesture is enough to get him fired up again, but if they go for round two here, they’ll surely attract some unwanted attention. Besides, they have something very important to be.

Nishitani cups Nishiki’s chin, catching the remainder of saliva at the corner of his mouth. “Such a good boy for me, Akira-kun~ You deserve a reward.”

At those words, Nishiki’s lips perk up in a smile. Yes, he has been good, hasn’t he? He certainly deserves a reward!

He doesn’t bother hiding how excited he is at the news as he gets up and begins asking: “What is it?”

Nishitani chuckles, finding Nishiki’s whole change of demeanor endearing.

“Why don’t ya walk with me a bit?” he asks, after tucking his now flaccid dick back in his pants. When Nishiki nods, he turns around, signaling Nishiki with his head to follow him. What he wants to show him isn’t that far from where they are; actually, they just have to get back to the main road before…

 A gasp leaves Nishiki’s lips as soon as he sees it.

“N… Nishitani-san!”

Nishitani laughs as Nishiki steps towards the car that has been parked right in front of where they are and not only that, but he also goes circles around it, examining it in every detail.

He did mention to Nishitani that he wanted a new car, something better than the one he has now, old and shitty - but Nishiki still loves his baby nonetheless - and Nishitani had told him that, if he was good, he’d get him one, something that would make everybody else envious, sure, but Nishiki didn’t think he would give it to him already!

Wait, what if he’s jumping to conclusions? For all he knows, this is Nishitani’s new car, not a gift for him.

He turns to Nishitani. “Is this truly mine?”

“It sure is!” Nishitani exclaims, throwing the keys at Nishiki. “How about taking it for a drive, huh?”

Nishiki almost lets the keys fall for the excitement, but they’re still secured in his hands as he nods. “Yes, please! Thank you so much!”

He doesn’t even wait for Nishitani to follow as he gets in the driver seat, though he doesn’t turn the car on until Nishitani’s inside as well.

“Where to?” he asks.

“Wherever you want!” Nishitani replies, ready to enjoy a nice ride.

At those words, Nishiki’s smile grows larger. He has a new baby, and he can take her to whenever he wants to? Oh, this is truly the best!

 He turns on the car and begins to drive around Sotenbori.

Oh, this car is so much better than his old one, much easier to drive around the way he wants to. The seats are also very comfy, which he can’t say about his old baby.

He turns to Nishitani, then figuring that it’s a bad idea, he goes back to look at the road - the last thing he needs now is to run over someone because he wasn’t paying attention. Still, the fact that he can’t see him doesn’t mean that he can’t talk to him.

“Nishitani-san, thank you. I mean it.”

He feels a hand creeping up his thigh, squeezing it - and thankfully doesn’t do anything more. He can’t see him, but he knows that Nishitani’s grinning ear to ear - he’s seen that expression on him countless times.

 Eventually he’ll have to get back to Kamurocho, but the knowledge that he’ll do it with his new shiny car fills him with a sense of smugness that he’s been feeling more and more since meeting Nishitani.

He’ll have to find a plausible explanation as to how he’s gotten a new car so suddenly, but that’ll be a problem for future Nishiki, because now he only wants to enjoy the ride with Nishitani, and that’s exactly what he’ll do, screw everything else.

[chroniccombustion]

Caught in the Grey (ch 1)

Genre: Trans!AU, hurt/comfort, romance, angst with a happy ending Rated: T Characters: Souji Seta (Yu Narukami), Yosuke Hanamura, Naoto Shirogane, Investigation Team, Izanagi/Shadow!Souji Warnings: depression, dysphoria, disassociation, self-hatred, implied suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, mentions of homophobia, implied past child abuse and transphobia, canon-typical violence, mild sexual content Status: multi-chapter, incomplete

Playlist: Spotify | Youtube next chapter ->

He stands on one end of the red-washed roof beneath a sky of blood and onyx and watches himself watch back from the other side.

“I’m fine,” he whispers to the figure across from him.

It shakes its head and sobs. “No,” it answers with two voices – layered over top each other in perfect stereo, one low and one high-pitched. It looks at him with eyes the color of sickness, gold and harsh against the pale, flickering silver of its hair.

“No, I’m NOT!”

Chapter 1: Beauty In the Breakdown

“So let go, let go, and jump in. Oh well whatcha waitin’ for? It’s alright, ‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown…”

– (“Let Go”, Frou Frou)

 October

“You better have damn good explanation for this!"

Yosuke is livid, incredulous. His voice cracks as he rounds on the girls, asking them how they could have done this, and from somewhere far away, Souji can hear him growing increasingly upset.

 He knows that Yosuke has raised his voice in panic and embarrassment, knows that Kanji is nearby, adding his own disbelief to the mix, but everything is… muffled. Distorted. Like he’s hearing it from behind a wall, through a rushing current that’s pounding somewhere inside his head and can’t breathe!

Seta Souji

It’s there, on the list of names under “Pageant Signups” – in scrawled black letters, clear and bold.

Everything is numb.

He curls freezing fingers around the cuff of his jacket sleeve, absently noting that his hands are shaking. He wants to run, wants to bolt, wants to go find a nice, quiet place to hyperventilate, because he can feel his lungs seizing and his vision blurring and he. Can’t. BREATHE.  

“…isn’t that right, Senpai?”

Souji looks up. Sharp, manic, eyes wide and chest stuttering. He stares at Rise – because that’s who was calling him, right? – and tries to think. He doesn’t know what she said, has no idea how to respond. Fake it. Don’t crack where they can see. You’re the leader, you’re the leader, you’re the leader…

Crushing down the weight inside his chest he forces himself to soften his eye contact, to school the line of his shoulders so that he doesn’t look like a cornered animal. He evens out his features until all semblance of expression is gone and only a blank mask remains. Jerkily, puppet-like, he gives the slightest nod of his head and consciously pulls up the corners of his lips into what he hopes is a faint smile. His stomach churns.

Rise crows with delight. “See?! I told you, Yosuke-senpai! Souji-senpai believes in us!”

Oh. Oh god.

“Dude, what the hell?!” Yosuke whips around and gives him a look of utter betrayal, his mouth hanging open and eyes bright with indignation. “Why would you agree to this? Do you just want to get paraded around in drag?!”

He feels sick. He feels so sick and he still can’t breathe and the edges of his vision are starting to go all fuzzy and he didn’t mean to agree to whatever she just said.

Oh god oh god oh god oh god

Something acidic climbs up his throat and burns the back of his tongue.

Yosuke is staring at him and Rise is grinning at him and Chie and Yukiko are sniggering and---

“Y-you’re positive we’ll be pretty?”

“Kanji, not you, too!”

He can’t do this. He can’t do this; even with Yosuke’s blistering gaze now turned towards Kanji, (and fuck fuck fuck even Kanji’s agreeing now!) the room still feels too small, too crowded. He needs to get away. He needs out of this whole situation but he knows he can’t escape because he’s trapped. He’s been roped into doing the one fucking thing he would rather chug bleach than do and there is no way to get out of doing it without making everything so much worse.

The girls would demand a good reason for backing out. Kashiwagi probably wouldn’t even listen, would just dock his grades or something if he skipped. He almost wonders if it would be worth it.

He’d do it anyway if he didn’t think somebody would find a way to do something to punish him for it.

I can’t breathe!

Everything is cold. He can’t feel his fingertips as they twist and wrap themselves deeper into his jacket sleeves, nails digging through the fabric to prick at his palms. Is anyone looking at him? He can’t tell. The room dims; a ring of grey static, like the Midnight Channel, fizzles in around the edges of his sight and makes everything around him dull and blurry. His friends are speaking. He doesn’t know to whom. He can’t pick out their voices anymore, can’t make out any words against the thunderous drumming of the river inside his head. It’s too loud, too dark, too cloistering, too much.

He turns. He doesn’t stop to figure out if anyone is calling after him, following him. He doesn’t care. Through muscle memory alone, he manages to get out the classroom door and into the hallway. He wills his legs to move, to push, to carry him forward in the direction of the nearest bathroom, even if he doesn’t know where he is anymore. The hallway is too long, too crowded, too, too, too, and he can’t.

He pushes the bathroom door open, body trembling so violently that he barely makes it inside before he’s throwing himself into a stall, to his knees. He feels them connect with the hard tile floor, is aware of the impact, but cannot feel the pain he knows will be there when he comes back down. He doesn’t feel anything but sick.

He curls over the toilet as if it could offer him salvation and vomits up everything he’s eaten today. Even long after he’s purged his stomach, the roiling is still there; he coughs until the taste of bile and acid sits heavy in his mouth.

The world is finally quiet by the time he’s able to stand again – though whether that’s from the roar in his ears subsiding at last or because the school is starting to empty, he has no idea. He doesn’t care. He washes his hands, his face, his mouth with water from the sink and refuses to look in the mirror as he does. His hands shake so badly that he’s certain there’s puddle on the floor beneath him. He doesn’t care. His breathing is still too shallow, too thin, comes too fast. He doesn’t look in the mirror. He doesn’t think.

It’s only after he hears a quiet creak that he even remembers other people still exist. He glances up from his shaking hands – why is there steam coming from the faucet? Is the water that hot? – forces his head sluggishly up and his eyes blearily over until he thinks he can see just the barest hint of hallway beyond the cracked-open door.

“Souji-senpai?” someone calls from outside. The voice is low, blessedly quiet, like deep blue twilight and old velvet. “Are you alright?”

Naoto.

“I’m fine,” he tries to say. His throat screams at him, raw and papery, like crusted salt. He tries to clear it and winces as the burn nearly makes him choke. “I’m fine,” he says again. It’s weak, scratchy, but louder than before.

Silence.

He wonders if he’d been too quiet, runs his tongue over his lips to try again. He tastes panic and shame.

“Please don’t lie to me, Senpai.”

Damnit.

Of course, even if Naoto wasn’t a detective they’re still the most observant of the team, the most logical. They’re exactly the kind of friend that wouldn’t be fooled or placated by something as weak as his automatic response. Of course they would notice him leaving, would find him even if he’d somehow wound up on the opposite side of the school building. Of course they would call him out for his obviously bullshit answer.

The door creeps wider open and suddenly there is a swath of blue in the line of the doorway. Naoto swings their head from one side to the other – checking the hall – before stepping further into the bathroom and settling their too-keen gaze upon him.

He looks back down at his hands, watches them turn pink, then red under the scalding water.

Naoto gasps softly. “Oh! Senpai…!” There are footsteps, the sound of the door closing, and then there are hands in his line of sight as Naoto reaches over and turns the water to cold. He still doesn’t feel a thing.

He stands there and lets Naoto keep his hands under the faucet, watching the redness of his skin slowly start to recede.

“I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t look up at them.

There is a pause, a measure of silence before they whisper again. Their voice is calm and level, and he focuses on it rather than the rush of water from the sink, the rush of blood still behind his ears.

“It was only Teddie and Yosuke-senpai that signed us up for the beauty pageant; I tried to tell them that but they had already put your name down as well. I didn’t know…”

Their voice catches slightly, and when he lifts his eyes from his numb fingers he can see them pursing their lips as they stare at their own hands on his wrists.

“I couldn’t stop them. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers back. Because it is okay, even thought it’s absolutely not; he believes Naoto. They’re the newest of the group, but they’re honest, and he knows them well enough by now to know that they’re also the most rational member on the team. They would have agreed to punishing Yosuke for his stunt – he’d like to think they would have stood up for him.

Naoto shakes their head. “It clearly isn’t.” They look up at him then, the movement of their head so sharp and startling that he finds himself looking up at the same time out of shock and catching their eyes. They stare and he can’t look away.

He holds his breath as Naoto opens their mouth to speak. But then, they don’t. They close their mouth again with a soft ‘click’, sighing out their unspoken words through their nose. Their gaze falls back to the mess of hands beneath the stream of water.

“You should see the nurse,” they say instead.

He shakes his head.

No. He absolutely does not want to do that. He’s already going to be poked and prodded enough for the damn pageant, thank you, and at least he can try to keep his friends’ hands on his face and hair and away from the rest of him. The nurse? Not so much.

He tries to say, “I don’t need to”; what comes out instead is a weak, shaky, “I can’t.”

Naoto looks back up at him, their lips pressed into a thin line and their forehead creased in concern. They stare at him for what feels like eons. “...Senpai—“

“Naoto, I can’t.”

And the way his voice breaks, the way his vision blurs, he’s sure he’s close to crying. But he can’t, he won’t, not here, not in front of his teammate, not in the middle of the school building where anyone else could walk in at any moment. He pleads with his eyes instead, because if anyone is clever enough to see hidden meaning in someone’s face, it’s Naoto.

Slowly they nod, and he feels a burst of relief for the first time in far, far too long. He wants to sob.

Naoto sighs and slumps their shoulders, apparently giving in for now. “I understand.” They tilt their head pointedly, searching his face for something he can’t fathom. They must find it, because the ghost of a reassuring smile passes over their features and he feels something inside his chest lift just the tiniest bit. “I really do.”

He should be afraid, he thinks, that Naoto can see through him – even though, out of all of the IT, it was always going to be Naoto that saw him first. He should feel like the floor has been shattered underneath his feet, like he’s falling into blackness again, but no. Not this time.

No one has said anything; no one has spoken the words out loud. It’s Naoto. He’s safe for now.

And he didn’t even have to pull the words from his mouth like shards of broken, bloodied glass. They just knew.

“I’ll do what I can to make sure they don’t go overboard tomorrow,” Naoto is saying. Their fingers uncoil from his wrists and turn the faucet off. (He thinks he can just barely make out the feel of the air on his freezing skin now.) They sigh again. “Chie-senpai and Yukiko-senpai will likely be all too glad to focus on Yosuke-senpai, but Rise-kun…” They trail off, unspoken horrors hanging thick in the air between their lips like oil.

Souji nods. He can feel the cold of his hands now, the leftover sting from the hot water still burning beneath his skin; the room is less fuzzy, now the lights less dim and his vision clearer. He feels himself slide back into his body – not lock into place, he’s still too shaky, too jittery – like a sheet of colored plastic overlaid across a different one to form a new color only where they touch. He’s there, he’s just not solid yet.

Souji flexes his fingers. They hurt. “I’m in drama club,” he rasps. “I can do most of it myself.”

The look that Naoto gives him is full of pain and sympathy – much more emotion than he’s sure anyone else in their group has ever seen. “Awful, isn’t it? That playing pretend has become so natural for people like us.”

The laugh that tears unexpectedly from his chest sounds more like a sob.

---

The next morning dawns like bile against the horizon. Souji watches from the window, barely real as he takes in the sickly yellow of the sun as it rises. A glance at the clock shows he’s been awake for several hours now, unable to stay asleep because of the constant, taunting reminder of what today is; the hummingbird-quick beating of his panicked heart bringing him back to wakefulness any time he managed to doze off from sheer exhaustion.

Numb, nauseous, he drags himself over to the desk and grabs his uniform from where he’d habitually set it out the night before. He feels like nothing, like a wind-up doll as he puts it on. He gathers his things, heads downstairs, passes by the kitchen without even bothering to glance inside. He doesn’t want breakfast right now, doesn’t even want to try and keep his stomach under control long enough to make a bento for later. He stops just long enough to give his little sister a hug.

Nanako asks him if he’s okay.

“I’m fine,” he answers with a strained smile.

---

He runs into Yosuke on the way to school, even though Souji’s absently aware that it’s far earlier than Yosuke actually needs to be leaving his house. But it doesn’t matter, so he doesn’t ask. Yosuke looks about as tired as he feels and at first there is silence.

And then Yosuke opens his mouth and starts to talk.

Yosuke rants about how unfair it is that they have to go through with the pageant, about how it’s totally different for the girls to be up on stage, about how real men don’t wear dresses, damnit, this is so stupid! Yosuke gesticulates as he talks and never once looks over to see the hollowness in Souji’s eyes or to see why Souji hasn’t said a single word to agree with him.

Souji tries and tries to tune his friend out but in the end he feels every word as though it were a splinter of ice burrowing ever deeper into his gut.

Yosuke finally asks him if he’s okay only once the front doors of the school are in sight.

“I’m fine,” he says, and pretends the catch in his voice is a yawn.

 ---

The day stretches and stretches but still seems to go far too quickly and soon he’s being handed a girl’s uniform and a long silver wig done up in a pair of braids. There are stockings, too, and a padded bra stuffed with what looks like socks pinned inside. He takes the uniform and the wig and stifles the burning, sinking, suffocating feeling that spreads throughout his body so that he can make it to the bathroom to change. Rise calls out to him as he walks stiffly into the hall like a man marching to his execution, asking him if he needs help fastening the bra. He keeps walking as if he hadn’t heard her.

He stands in the stall and tries, tries, tries not to hyperventilate, not to give in to the way his vision blackens and his lungs scream and his stomach – still empty from yesterday – lurches and rolls. His heart pounds like he’s been running, like it’s already escaped and is pleading for him to come with it. He barely manages to hook everything together with how badly his hands are shaking – fingers slipping and nearly dropping everything as he slips the bra fasteners into place. He wraps the socks that had been padding it up in his own uniform and doesn’t think about how well the bra actually fits him without them.

He puts the wig on last while still in the stall. He uses his drama club training and feels for the tabs on either side of the wig, pulling on them until they’re next to his temples. He keeps the stall door closed, keeps his back to it and his head down, even though he cannot see the wall of mirrors over the sinks while he hides behind the door. He squeezes his eyes shut as bits of the wig brush across his cheekbones and does not look at the long silvery strands that now frame his face.

The way the skirt swishes around his legs, the way the shirt hugs his chest, the way his hips look fuller, his waist smaller, his hair longer—

He clamps a hand to his mouth as he gags, body heaving to expel his fear and panic, even though his stomach is so empty it cramps. Sweat breaks out over his forehead and he has to blink back the sting of tears behind his eyelids because everything is wrong wrong WRONG!

It takes everything he has to lock himself away and call up the bone-deep coldness. He slips into the numbing distance, pulling it over himself like a cloak, and pushes everything away until there is nothing left inside but nothing.

Gathering up his things, he finally steps out of the stall and breezes past the line of sinks towards the hallway. He watches himself from someplace far away in his own mind as his body looks dead ahead and refuses to even glance at his own reflection in the mirrors.

Naoto is waiting against the wall just outside the classroom when he makes it back. They take a glance at his mask-like face and their expression twists like they can feel every bit of black, oozing wrongness that has filled his veins and settled into his lungs; like they want to cry every tear for him that lurks behind his frosted wall of forced calm.

He hears them whispering to him as he passes, hears them asking senpai are you okay?

“I’m fine,” he responds, voice like a worn-out recording on an over-played cassette.

---

He doesn’t let Rise do his makeup. He doesn’t let Yukiko or Chie do his makeup either. Thankfully, the latter two have Kanji and Yosuke to focus on to keep them from descending upon him. Rise, though, winks mischievously and waggles a foundation compact in his direction.

He doesn’t want her touching him. Doesn’t want anyone touching him. But he stills just before he can tell her he’ll do it himself because even through the cloak of numbness he knows that to do it himself he’ll have to look in a mirror. His mind stutters, reboots, works his mouth on autopilot and tries again to tell Rise she doesn’t need to help but she isn’t listening. She leans into his personal space with a wide, sweet grin, and he doesn’t want to be upset with her when he knows she’s doing it because of her not-so-subtle crush on him, so he can’t recoil or shove her away like his instincts want to. Luckily his mind and his body are so far removed from one another right now that his knee jerk reaction doesn’t reach his limbs through the void.

He feels the ice encase his heart just a little more solidly and pulls himself further back into his head.

In the end it’s Naoto that winds up doing his makeup. He doesn’t remember them speaking up or shooing Rise away, doesn’t know how he wound up sitting in the far corner of the room with Naoto in front of him like a shield even as they lean in close with a brush.

I’m sorry, their lips say; he can read the words up close like this but the sound is lost behind the echoing cold.

He doesn’t answer, doesn’t know if he’s human enough to remember how. He just sits there and lets them dust the smallest amount of pale brown shadow onto his eyelids. Someone whistles nearby, one of the girls saying something about the ‘natural look,’ but he catches next to nothing else. He can’t even tell who it was that said it – the voice muted like his head is underwater and he’s drowning.

Naoto sweeps something minty-smelling across his bottom lip; a tube of tinted balm, it looks like, not lipstick, but he doesn’t bother trying to read beyond what passes through his peripherals.

He sees Naoto rest their hand tentatively on his shoulder – he can’t feel it, can’t feel anything – and another pained, worried look paints itself over their features. Any other time he would feel guilty about making one of his friends worry, but right now he’s so hollow that he barely even notices.

Naoto turns over their shoulder, eyes suddenly sharp, and parts their lips as though they’re about to speak at someone, when Chie and Yukiko appear in front of them both with matching expressions of glee.

Chie’s mouth moves, quirking upwards as she gives a stunned Naoto a thumbs-up. Yukiko, however, tilts her head at him, appraising. Her mouth moves as well; a great wall of static noise blocks out her words but her lips shape the letters ‘O’ and ‘K” and he absently sees his own head turning to mimic looking in her direction.

“I’m fine,” he feels his body say in his absence.

---

It’s over. The pageant is over. Everything is finally, finally over.

He barely even waits until everyone is off the stage before he’s pulling the wig off his head as though it burns him. He tosses it at someone beside him, not caring whom, and immediately grabs for the bag full of his clothes – his clothes – that someone has apparently stashed backstage for him. (Probably Naoto.)

The world is a blur around him and he all but runs to the bathroom and slams his shoulder into the door. He’s already kicking off the shoes before he even makes it into the closest stall. The first thing off is the stockings, which he nearly trips over as he tries to yank them from his legs as gently – but quickly – as he can, because he doesn’t want to tear them. He’ll have to return everything in one piece; he doesn’t know whom any of this belongs to. He whips them over top the side of the stall and lets them hang there, reaching for the skirt next and hearing something ‘pop!’ as he tugs it down almost before it’s completely unfastened. It joins the stockings in a whirl of fabric.

Still in the top, the scarf, the bra, he unzips his duffel bag and starts grabbing at the clothing inside, not even caring what he pulls out first. He separates a pant leg from a jacket sleeve and drops the jacket back into the bag. As he slides his legs into his pants his knees nearly buckle in desperate relief.

Never again never again never again

The frigid wall, the cloak of numbness, the nothing inside his head; all of it starts to peel and crack and unravel as his violently shaking hands fumble with his button. It takes him far too long to get them fastened, scraping his knuckles on he teeth of his zipper, but when they’re finally, finally, FINALLY ON, the breath leaves his lungs like he’s been slashed open and he has to lurch forward to brace himself against the wall. He trembles, gulps in lungful after lungful of air like a dying man and it still isn’t enough, still feels too shallow. All the color has left his vision, leaving only blacks and whites and greys behind in the ever-tightening circle of static sparkling at the edges of his eyes. He feels unbalanced, off-kilter; his head spins as he continues to try and fill his chest with enough air to keep him above the line of blind panic.

He wonders just how much adrenaline a human body can handle in a day before serious damage is done.

But he can’t relax yet. There’s still the rest of the girl’s uniform, and then the makeup, and he doesn’t know if he has enough left in him to keep going right now. He’s running on sheer luck – body too sick and anxious, deprived of any kind of fuel beyond adrenaline and well-practiced autopilot since yesterday afternoon. And even then, not by much, since everything had come up again after seeing his name on the sign up sheet. How he’s standing he has no idea; how he’s going to make it home, he doesn’t want to think about.

He wills his body to move, to peel off the remainder of the costume – because he has to think of it that way, it cannot be anything else – and locate the toughest part of his own clothing to put back on. He doesn’t look down as he practically rips off the bra, nearly drops his next item of clothing into the toilet in his haste and rising exhaustion. He only gets stuck for a moment as it rolls up underneath itself, but he’s done this before, so many times, in fact, that detangling himself has become muscle memory by now. He rights the fabric, tugs it down over his torso, runs the palms of his hands down the smoother, flatter surface of his chest.

Breathe in. Hold it. Breathe out. Almost done, almost done.

The shirt takes several minutes to button. He keeps getting the wrong hole, keeps slipping as he tries to push the buttons through only for them to resist. He’s better now that he has pants on, more in his own body than he has been in hours, but he’s still not entirely there, not completely whole again. He won’t be until he can put this entire fucking day behind him and he can’t even start to do that until he can get his goddamn clothes on, please just button!

He gives up on the last couple of buttons, letting them hang open; they don’t go low enough to show the flesh-colored fabric beneath, so it doesn’t matter. The rest of the shirt is fastened, though, which is good enough for now. He grabs for his uniform jacket and pulls it on without a hitch. Somehow he manages to get his socks and shoes on without sliding down the wall and cracking his head open on the tiled floor.

He’s stuffing the pageant costume into the bag so he doesn’t have to look at it anymore when he spots the pack of makeup remover wipes tucked into the bottom. He owes Naoto everything, anything; anything they want, he will gladly give them. He will run himself ragged in the TV world to earn as much money as he needs to, if only for this one last kindness that his friend has shown him.

He rips open the pack and feverishly starts to scrub at his face with the first wipe he can get his fingers around. It hurts; even through the numbness still plaguing him and the chasm between his body and his mind he can feel his skin starting to burn. He doesn’t remember if Naoto put foundation on him – he doesn’t think they did – but he scrubs and scrubs and scrubs at his eye makeup, at his cheeks, at his lips, until he can taste copper on his tongue and see stars behind his lids. He grabs another wipe and keeps going. He doesn’t dare step out of the stall until the makeup wipes come away clean.

He washes his face with cold water at the sink, both to clear away the film of makeup remover and to quell the rawness of his skin. He watches the water stream around his freezing hands just like he did yesterday and absolutely does not look up at the mirror.

Somewhere out in the hallway he can hear clock chimes; he counts them to himself long after they’ve stopped.

---

He’s almost human again when he reemerges from the bathroom and finds his way back to his friends. Truthfully he wants nothing more than to hug the living daylights out of Naoto and then roll into a ditch somewhere to sleep for a million years. He can’t, though; he knows he has to make an appearance with the rest of the group or even the most oblivious among them will get suspicious. He doesn’t have the energy to think up a lie.

He shuffles his way into the classroom and sinks down into a nearby chair, legs wobbly and threatening to fail him. Once he can focus on something other than keeping himself upright, he takes a moment to properly look around the room. It’s weird seeing it suddenly, (even through the grey veil still clouding the edges of his vision,) since he’s barely registered anything around him for the past two days. He’s exhausted and probably hungry and really just wants to go home, but there’s still that responsible part of him that thinks he should try and rejoin the living and clean up the classroom with his friends. Though, looking harder, it seems like most of the decorations have been taken down already.

Just how much time did he lose?

“There you are! Damn, I was wondering where you disappeared to.” Yosuke steps over to him, also back in his own clothes, and slumps into the chair adjacent him. There is still makeup on his face, and his hair has a crimp mark where the hair tie had previously been. He looks haggard.

Souji doesn’t say anything I return, only gives his best friend shaky smile that goes nowhere near his eyes; he doesn’t think he can manages human words right now.

Luckily it doesn’t seem like Yosuke notices. Instead, he gives Souji a pitiful look and says, “Duuuuuuude, how’d you get your makeup off? Rise keeps saying she doesn’t have anything because she ‘forgot.’” He snorts sardonically and levels an unamused look over his shoulder at where the girls are snapping pictures of Teddie still in full costume. “’Forgot,’ my ass,” he grumbles. “Probably forgot on purpose just to make us suffer longer.”

Souji makes a mental note to ask Naoto if they paid for his makeup wipes out of their own pocket, and how much he owes them for it.

He doesn’t answer – again – but he does expend a little of what energy he has left to lean over and unzip his duffle bag. He doesn’t let his eyes focus on anything inside, just feels around until the familiar crinkle of plastic reaches him. Covertly, he taps the pack of remover wipes against Yosuke’s knee.

Yosuke looks down, confused, before taking the pack with barely-contained glee. He fixes Souji with a face-splitting grin. “Oh man, you are the best, Partner!” He hurries to stand, shooting Souji a quick, “be right back,” and nigh on sprinting towards the door. He nearly runs into Kanji as he’s leaving, the other boy apparently just now returning from changing out of his own costume with the dress draped over his arm.

Yosuke actually grabs kanji by the elbow and drags him back out into the hallway with a hushed, “come on!” The two of them disappear around the corner.

It would be funny, Souji thinks; probably should be funny, but the whole situation is some kind of overly-customized personal hell, and he’s about two steps away from saying “screw it” and slinking out the door to make his own escape.

He never gets the chance.

Somewhere, at some point in his life, Souji must have cashed in all of his good luck and used it up forever because its only once Yosuke and Kanji have vanished that he realizes there’s no one left to distract the others. Rise spots him first and, with a bubbly, “Senpai, you’re back!” she hurries over and into his space.

“Look!” she beams, holding her phone out towards him, screen turned where he can see. “I took pictures of all of you!”

He makes the mistake of almost looking – even knowing full well what’s probably on her phone screen, he instinctively turns his gaze and catches sight of long silver braids.

Immediately he freezes, doesn’t let his eyes finish focusing on the image now shoved in his face. He can’t. He’s tried so hard, made absolutely sure that any mirror he passed, any reflective surface, any window for god’s sake, was kept just out of his line of vision. He’s tried, for two solid days to keep from looking at himself, to keep from thinking, and now it’s all about to come unraveled because Rise has photographic evidence of this complete massacre of a day.

He shifts his gaze over to Rise’s face instead, looks just past the edge of her cheek and doesn’t meet her eyes. He thinks he might feel his lips twitch cordially upwards at the corners – autopilot yet again – and thinks he might hear himself say something. It might be, “so I see”; it might be, “please kill me.” He isn’t sure. The room is starting to waver in his vision and the river inside his skull has begun trickling to life.

Whatever it was he said must not have been too bad, because Rise just giggles and leans back on her hip, pulling her phone with her. She grins down at it and starts poking at the screen, likely flipping through her pictures.

He wonders if he could make it to the door before she pulls up another one to show him.

Chie and Yukiko wander over, much more relaxed than Rise had been, and while that part is appreciated it’s rapidly becoming too crowded in the little sliver of classroom he’s found himself trapped in. He lets his mind pull away from his body, giving his friends a fake smile and a nod while he tries anxiously to see if he can spot Naoto anywhere. He can’t pinpoint the exact moment his subconscious started hyper-fixating on them, viewing them as safe, as shield, but he won’t complain. For once there is an anchor, a lifeline, even if Naoto can’t really do much right now; it’s been so long since he’s had any form of hope when his panic surges and rolls, tugging at him like a vicious tide. Even just knowing he wasn’t alone in this cage of people would be enough to ground him.

But Naoto isn’t here. Naoto isn’t here and Yosuke – who could have at least pulled their attention away from him – is off in the bathroom and there’s nothing to keep his heart from quickening in his chest like a frenzied moth.

“Hey could you send me those?” Chie is saying to Rise, blessedly not looking at him for the time being. “I’m gonna lord this over Yosuke’s head for weeks!”

Yukiko launches into a laughing fit and the level of static noise in the room ramps up to just shy of too much.

“You got it! Senpai, do you want me to send some to you, too? I got a bunch of cute pictures of you backstage~”

No, please no.

He pulls himself back into his own head on a burst of sheer adrenaline, clutching onto his fight or flight moment of sickening clarity to open his mouth and beg her not to---

A whirlwind of blue dress and blonde wig throws itself at him, practically into his lap, and suddenly Teddie is latched around his arm like a vice.   

“Ooh ooh! Send one to me, Rise-chan! Send one to me!” He pulls a little yellow Junes-brand phone out of seemingly nowhere and shoves it into Rise’s hand. “I want a bear-utiful one of Sensei!”

Without even seeming to pause for breath, Teddie wraps back around his arm and sighs dreamily. The blonde wig brushes against his face. It feels too much like the silver one had.

Longer hair, a smaller waist, fuller hips, the swish of a skirt…

His chest is full of cinders.

Teddie beams up at him. He stares back with wide eyes, only vaguely seeing.

“You should have won, too, Sensei!” Teddie says – very loudly, right near his ear. “Just think of it! We could have been heartbreakers together, on the hunt for bear-utiful admirers!”

The cinders in his throat climb higher, choking him, burning everything in their path.

Teddie sighs again. “Sensei makes such a pretty girl.”

Everything whites out.

It’s like being dropped into dark, freezing water; his body is paralyzed, rendered immobile in the sharpest, most bone-deep way, with every inch of skin so cold it feels like a thousand shards of ice digging into him and twisting. It forces the air from his lungs, suspends it in time so that he cannot draw another breath to replace it. He feels the frigid water seep into his mind, his mouth, his chest, feels the way it drains everything from his body until he is so numb he can’t even call his limbs to shake. There is no sound, no voices – only the muted rush of the water as it claims him and fills his head with silence.

---

There are flashes of black and grey in his vision.

From far, far away, he catches a glimpse of himself in the school hallway as he throws himself out into it and against a wall. He sees Yosuke and Kanji, coming casually towards him, sees their faces as he passes, shocked and confused.

He sees the door to the stairwell. He sees the landing halfway down.

He sees Naoto near the bottom, close to the exit to the first floor, heading upwards in his direction. He sees their look of terror as they notice him, the recognition dawning in their eyes, sees them reach out as if to intercept him. He sees himself dodge, sees his body swing itself over the railing and past the last couple of steps, landing wrong and slipping, falling, catching himself with the palms of his hands and using the last of that momentum to fling himself out the door.

He sees the front entrance of the school. He sees the walkway beyond.

He sees nothing after that.

---

The world is dark around him as he slowly blinks his eyes open. He is back in his room at his uncle’s house; he can just barely make out the outline of the desk, the couch, the TV in what faint moonlight filters in through the windows behind him. The wall is hard and unforgiving at his back; the floor is cold on his already-cold legs. Vaguely he notes that he is bare from the waist up, the skin of his arms and chest and shoulders all exposed to the chill of the room.

His hands sting and his knees ache. He has no idea what time it is.

“I’m fine,” he whispers to no one. His voice, though weak and raw, echoes like a temple bell in the maddening quiet of his dark, empty bedroom. In what sounds like a dark, empty house.

He licks at his lips, closes his eyes. He leans his head back again and rests it against the wall. “I’m fine.”

His next exhale is wet and trembling, like the dying breath of a drowning victim, pulled from the river only to die with water in his lungs. There is something crusted under the fingernails of his right hand. He touches it with the tip of a finger from his left hand and finds it thick and sticky beneath the first layer. Something smells sweet and coppery. There is a long stripe of stinging pain across the side of his left arm when he shifts it. He doesn’t focus on it.

There is a buzzing noise and a square of light shines from his pants pocket in the perfect outline of his phone. He lolls his head to stare at it until it goes away. It comes back what feels like a few moments later. Again and again, he watches as it blinks until going dark once more.

“I’m fine,” he whispers as the lead in his bones pulls him down to curl up on the floor against the side of the couch.

“I’m fine,” he whispers again as he lets the exhaustion settle across him like a weighted blanket and slips his eyes close.

“I’m fine,” he whispers like a mantra as sleep finally takes him.

His dreams are full of fog and shadowy places that he does not recognize; a crumbling indoor maze with whispering voices, a rooftop surrounded on all sides by impossibly high chain link fence. He stands on one end of the red-washed roof beneath a sky of blood and onyx and watches himself watch back from the other side.

“I’m fine,” he whispers to the figure across from him.

It shakes its head and sobs. “No,” it answers with two voices – layered over top each other in perfect stereo, one low and one high-pitched. It looks at him with eyes the color of sickness, gold and harsh against the pale, flickering silver of its hair.

A wail of anguish rises from their chests, long and loud and keening, and the figure lurches forward to bury its face in its hands.

“No, I’m NOT!”

[jumarit38]

THROUGH TIME - CHAPTER 6

Jurina was willing to confess her love to Mayu a week ago, but the occasions that both see each other had decreased from one day to another, the shorter girl wasn’t around her anymore like she used to, besides she was always in the garden, Jurina knew that she loved flowers, that’s why she never really asked why she always went there, she never imagined that actually Kashiwagi Yuki was the one who took Mayu’s attention and not the flowers. Mayu went every day to the garden hoping to find the beautiful girl, and then she spend her evenings listening to the histories or whatever Yuki said, Mayu didn’t care if it was boring, she was happy just by listening Yuki’s melodious voice and enjoying her presence. The weeks passed, Jurina could feel that something was different in Mayu; the few occasions that they were together the oldest was always daydreaming or sighing. Jurina couldn’t find the right moment to tell her that she loved her, something was holding her back, Mayu’s strange behavior was stopping her. “Are you ok Mayu? I see you a little different lately” “Let’s say that I am so happy that I can’t holding it back” Mayu answered with her bright and warm smile that always made Jurina’s heart stop and took away all of her worries, it doesn’t matter how much times she saw it, it always had the same effect, and was the only thing that Jurina needed to reaffirm her love. “I love you” The words just came out from Jurina’s mouth, those words that she have been wanting to say since a month ago, she couldn’t bear to see Mayu’s smile and didn’t scream to the world that she loved her and embrace her with all her might. The room was full with silence after her confession, Mayu didn’t say anything, her bright smile had vanish for complete, her face become all white, and without prior notice she just got out from the room running as fast as she could. “Mayu wait” But Mayu was already far away, Jurina didn’t need another answer, she knew by the way Mayu reacted that she didn’t feel the same for her, her heart was hurting in her cheats when she realized that her only happiness had leave her side. She felt on her knees to the ground, she could only feel how her tears felt on her check and she couldn’t make them stop, there was no word that could describe her broken heart, and Jurina could feel her loneliness come back and there was no anyone that would take it away again. Mayu didn’t knew other way to react; she knew how weak Jurina’s heart was, after 14 year of solitude she wanted to be by her side, but she didn’t have the same feelings for her, she loved a warm eyes and a friendly smile that doesn’t belong to Jurina. She couldn’t lie to Jurina nor herself, but she knew that she would have to face the prince and make her understand that even if she didn’t feel the same way, she would be always by her side. Some days passed and Mayu couldn’t find a moment to talk to Jurina, mainly because the younger girl avoids her with all her might, she didn’t have even eye contact with Mayu. And everything continues that way until Jurina’s 15 birthday, she and Jurina were called by the kings to their office. Being in the room, Jurina ignored Mayu’s presence, basically she become the person she was before they met, it was Jurina’s way to protect herself, she didn’t feel anything, she didn’t care about anything, and she buried her feelings with the fear to be hurt again. “Good evening, I will go straight to the main point” Said the king catching both attentions. “I don’t know if you have wondered the reason of why Mayu have been living here the past 10 months” “My father told me it was because he would go on a trip” Said Mayu sure about her answer, at a beginning she didn’t like the idea, she could live alone in that period of time, but she didn’t have another choice, and it wasn’t that bad, it would only be a year. “Well… that is a lie” Mayu couldn’t believe him, she trust her father’s word, and there was no other logic reason, is not like she had a bad relationship with her father, he would not want to get rid of her, she was trying to think another possibilities but nothing came to her mind “Can you please tell me the reason then?” even so she didn’t want to be disrespectful, after all was the king the one who she was talking to. “Jurina turns 15 like you know, she is now in the age to get marriage and being the throne heiress is a need that she marriage someone who can take the throne with her, you have been being her fiancée all the time, you were bring here so you both could know each other, so please prepare tonight you will be presented as her fiancée in tonight’s ball” Jurina had no idea of what was going on, for the first time in a week she looked straight to her unrequited love, shock was what her face showed and fear at the same time, Jurina knew that Mayu doesn’t love her, and she didn’t want to force her to marry her if she doesn’t feel that way for her. “Father I refuse” For the first time in all her life, Jurina refused an order from her father, meanwhile Mayu was on the same position without saying a word nor a single reaction. “This is not something that you can decide Jurina, Viscount have already accept too, you both have to fulfill your duties as part of a Royal family, you can go now” Jurina, seeing that Mayu didn’t react at all, took her hand and dragged her out from the room, she wanted to talk with her and let her know that she didn’t knew it either, and despite that she loved her, she would never do something like that to her. Both arrived to Jurina’s room, they sat at the edge of the bed, the younger one tried that Mayu reacted. “Mayu, please say something” Mayu with her pale face and shaking hands said the words that Jurina never thought that would came out from her mouth. “I accept, I will marry you” After saying this she only stood up from the bed and got out from the room, leaving behind a completely confuse Jurina Mayu knew she didn’t had another choice than do it, she couldn’t go against the King’s and her father’s orders, and she didn’t wanted to see Jurina sad gaze again, she definitely didn’t want her to be alone again, so she would abandon her true love and accept her destiny. Mayu was in her way to her room, her gaze was on the floor, and she was to focus on what had just happened and how her life would change. “Good evening Mayu” Suddenly the voice that always made her heart race but at the same time was the only thing that could calm her down, and that she always wished to hear rumbled in her ears, and then she couldn’t hold back her feelings anymore, she run to Yuki’s arms and started to cry letting out all her feelings, her only comfort were the warmness of Yuki’s embrace. Yuki didn’t asked anything, she knew exactly what was happening, Shinoda had already told her after Yuki told her that she had fallen in love for a beautiful girl that always talk with her in the garden, the only thing that both could do was comfort each other with no words, only and embrace that said everything that words can’t             A ball where every important person from the kingdom gather, Counts, Dukes, Marquis, and any kind of noble were there. All there kingdom were in the expectation of what would be announce in the awaited 15 birthday of the prince. The only thing that they didn’t expect was the most tragedy in Sakae’s history. 3 deaths, 2 survivors and none suspect. Jurina was wearing her white suit, made by the best dressmakers from the kingdom, and it was adorned with brilliant gold buttons, it was a suit that can only be used by someone of royalty. She had never been so nervous like she was in that moment, she was in the waiting room waiting for Mayu to make their entrance in the big hall where everybody were waiting. But Mayu was nowhere see, all the servants were looking for her like crazy. They gave Jurina the order to just wait because she can get lost too, they weren’t in the castle, they were in a near ball house that was really big, Jurina couldn’t hold her impotence, maybe something had happened to Mayu, so she forgot about the orders again just because of Mayu and went out from the room to look for her fiancée. She knew that the servants had already search in every single room, so she run to the only place that Mayu could be. When she arrived to the garden, Jurina finally found the girl that she was looking for, but she wasn’t alone, she had seen the other girl in the castle, she was Shinoda’s best friend, but Jurina had never talked to her. When she saw the way that Mayu looked at the other girl, her eyes were sparkle like she was seeing the most wonderful thing in earth, she then knew that she was the person that took away Mayu’s heart, and she could confirm it when she saw both kissing right in front of her, she didn’t knew how to react, her heart sink even more with the scene, she didn’t had the right to complain to Mayu, their engagement was only because of politic ends, that is why she only return her steps, accepting that she would never have Mayu’s love. The ball ended pretty well, they were presented in front of everyone, and people only said how good it was to see them both together, Mayu and Jurina only could reply with fake smiles to everyone hiding their true feelings. They were now in their way back to the castle, and it couldn’t be more awkward, in the carriage were the Queen and the King, Jurina, Mayu and Yuki, Shinoda supposed to come with them, but she had to leave first because something came up. Anybody said a word, Jurina couldn’t help but analyze each part from Yuki, she was staring at her all the time and the other one just smile at her back. Mayu only saw the scene wondering why Jurina was doing that, she hadn’t told her about Yuki. Suddenly the carriage made an abrupt movement that made it fall from a precipice. Jurina slowly opened her eyes, her head and her body was in pain, when she could back to all her sense and remembered what happened, she looked around her just to find her parents all covered in blood, drops of blood came out from their heads, Jurina approached them just to confirm that they were dead. Fear and panic took over her body, the only thing she was thinking is where Mayu is and if she is ok, and at the thought that maybe something happen to her made her get even more scared. She saw Mayu a little steps away, she got closer to her, she was unconscious, but she had several wounds and was losing too much blood, if someone didn’t heal her, she would bleed to dead. Jurina then started to drag her and screaming with all her might for help. “Mayu please don’t leave me, I don’t care if you don’t love me, I don’t care take the throne, you said that you would be by my side, please don’t die, please” tears of desperation came out from Jurina’s eyes “Prince” that was Yuki’s voice “Yuki, help me taking her out o-” All of a sudden Jurina felt a stabbing pain under her collar bone, she touched the place and her hand got full of blood, her blood, her expensive withe suit was now cove with her blood, someone from nowhere see had shoot her, Jurina felt to the ground, her sight became blurry and the only thing that she could see was Yuki ear Mayu body. Then when a little bit of her sense came back someone was dragging her, it was Yuki. “What are you doing, let go, don’t worry about me save Mayu, save Mayu…” Jurina couldn’t say anything more, she faint and the last thing she saw was Mayu’s body getting farther and farther. Jurina woke up after being unconscious two weeks, they never found the culprit, Mayu and her parents had die. She never talked to Yuki or see her again after Mayu’s funeral, Yuki just stood there not a single tear was seen in her face, she was with a melancholic smile that never left her face. Since then Jurina never forget herself the fact that she couldn’t save Mayu, nor Yuki by saving her and not Mayu, after all Jurina thinks that she was the one that should have die there, the people that did it were after the Royal family. Shinoda took the throne as the Queen, at least until Jurina turn 18 and marriage, because those were requirement for Jurina to take the throne.

[sambart93]

2017.04.26-29 HakuMyu Harada-Hen Review!

I cannot cope with this stage seriously! I was so lucky I got to go to the dress rehearsal AND I also managed to see it 4 times total!!

Before I say anything; when I see a play multiple times, I always enjoy it the first time and then the remaining times I will sit their counting how many points I want to make. And I know in at least one showing I had about 37 things to say about part one and 42 things to say about part two. Obviously I couldn’t and can’t remember them all BUT I hope that gives an insight into how much stuff I want to comment on in this stage! Also because I have so many effing points, I have already decided I AM going to do a Scene-By-Scene review and commentary when the DVD BR comes out! I seriously have SO much to say about each scene and moment but I won’t remember them all for this review. Sound good? Okay!

Official Website here Official Twitter here DVD and BR PreOrders here and here Press Coverage 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Cast and Characters

Higashi (TonChan) Keisuke as Harada Sannosuke Isobe Karin as Yukimura Chizuru Matsuda Gaku as Hijikata Touji Aramaki (MakiChan) Yoshihiko as Okita Souji Naya (TakeChan/Patch-Kun) Takeru as Saitou Hajime Kizu Tsubasa as Toudou Heisuke Fukuyama Shoudai as Nagakura Shinpachi Teruma as Sannan Keisuke Takasaki (TakaChan) Shouta as Yamazaki Susumu Imata Taira as Kondou Isami Sasaki (Hide/HideSama) Hideyoshi as Kazama Chikage Soutarou as Amagiri Kyuujyu Kashiwagi Yuusuke as Shuranui Kyou Kawamoto Hiroyuki as Yukimura Koudou Ensemble: Sugawara Takeshi, Sato Yoshio, Hisada Yuki, Sakamoto Kazuki, Yoshida Yuuki and Maehara Masaki

NON-SPOILER REVIEW

Overall: Best musical and stage of the year so far!!! Holy crap it is amazing! I clapped so hard every night and I haven’t clapped hard in a LONG time (maybe since TouMyu 2?)! I even wanted to give them a standing ovation every freaking night! That’s how amazing it is! Everyone did phenomenal and all the scenes were amazing and the love the new cast, every single one of them and the songs! Holy moly the songs are amazing! Also we finally have a kickass, badass Chizuru! Best Chizuru we’ve had too! I’ve only ever seen the rest of the HakuMyus twice but I’ve already seen this four times! And I’m glad this was the one I saw four times! It’s definitely my favourite HakuMyu xD It’s been weeks and I’m still on a high from it. Rating: 9 - 9.5/10

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SPOILER REVIEW!

Okay is everyone ready for this monster? By the way, if you have alcohol on hand then take a drink every time I say Amazing or Gold xD you’re going to be a sanbaka by the end if you do though xD let’s go!

This is going to be split up in a really weird way. I’ve split it into Part One and Part Two (but it won’t be going in chronological order; my memory isn’t THAT good), then some notes and comments split by the different performances I went to and finally we have cast/acting break down comments too.. I imagine they’re been a Misc and a Goods section too xD I hope it’s not too confusing! >.< enjoy!

PART ONE

I am very glad I saw this in person because every time the opening main theme starts the sound crew SERIOUSLY cranked up that music, it shakes the room and it’s so powerful and amazing which is something you can’t really feel when you watch it at home! Gave me chills every time <3

This feels a lot darker too compared to the past HakuMyus which I think is why I enjoyed it so much. I remember the anime ripping my heart out and just being this amazing but depressing and dark story and I feel they really captured the real Hakuouki this time around <3

I really like the scene where Chizuru and Harada are out in town together and he captures someone and throws him back into the store/pub and we just hear this ‘すみません・ Sorry!’ xD everyone laughed every time. Another thing during this scene is there’s always a drunk guy at the back of the stage, and three out of the four performances he pretends to trip over nothing but on my third watch he pretends his hand gets stuck to the floor xD it amused me so much every time. It’s such a little thing but I love it xD All the ensemble were amazing! I saw some recogisable and regular faces too in them! <3

All the comedy hit well in this stage ^_^ we have the one scene mentioned above and then we also have the drinking scene comedy with Shinpachi, Harada and even Yamazaki, and in part two we have that wonderful Shinpachi.

Teruma's freaking solo. I really do love his solo. It’s so manic and amazing and the lighting and the smoke and Chizuru being scared to death and everything - it’s so good! Jesus, his scream seriously is amazing and gave me chills every time too! Also I think his performance of this song just got more wild every night which is awesome! In fact everyone’s screams were amazing! You could feel and hear their pain in the screams. Heisuke’s scream when he transformed is also really good! More on screaming in part two >.<

This Chizuru is kickass this one. It’s the first time I’ve actually liked Chizuru and I’m so glad I do because I really do like Karin! This Chizuru feels a lot more fearless and stronger and always staying with the guys and even goes to turn herself in to protect Shinsengumi. Maybe she has done this in all the others but this was personally my first time to really see Chizuru as this strong female. I have so many good scenes of her being a badass. One is when she tells the Oni she’ll go with them so long as they don’t hurt Shinsengumi. Another badass scene is when she even attacks and tries to kill her own father! She actually uses and takes out her sword on a number of occasions this time around which made me love her! THIS is the Chizuru I want and I got it! 

And speaking of Karin as Chizuru, I love the slight song speed and tempo differences they made to fit Karin’s voice <3 By the way if you didn’t notice already this Chizuru and Karin are my all time favourite Chizuru’s! xD Both character and actress <3 I’ve liked Karin since K Stage so makes sense xD

Related to above; I LOVE when Harada says to Chizuru ‘それはかっこよかった・That was cool of you/You were cool then.’ after she tries to protect and save everyone <3 in general Harada has some great lines but that one definitely stood out to me every performance.

Unfortunately, there is NO Kinniku Love -__- which is one of the tiny reasons why I haven’t rated it a 10 out of 10. This is like my favourite part in all the stages! So I was a little miffed! But we got a wonderful Drinking song and we got Harada and Shinpachi shirtless which was great! Also in the shirtless scene Shinpachi draws on Harada which is good fun >.< although why Shinpachi undressed also I have no idea why xD I ain’t complaining though!

Speaking of the Drinking song, YAMAZAKI in this song!!! TakaChan’s Yamazaki is good as always, however, especially when drunk xD it really cracked me up every time and I looked forward to it every time! He falls on the floor, he slumps onto the stairs, he has to rest a hand on the wall so he doesn’t throw up, it’s really so good xD I loved this performance every time!! It gave me such a giggle.

I love Okita’s coughing in this one. I know it’s not technically a good thing for Okita (xD) but MakiChan acting out the coughing and the different stages of it so well this stage! I am proud of my boy <3 I also love during one of the scene where everyone in Shinsengumi’s gathered and Okita is just sexily sat on the stairs with the sword between his legs <3 so sexy *dead*

OOOOO! I LOVE the song when it’s just Kondo, Okita and Hijikata! And they sing ‘その名前に誓う！・We’ll take that name’ and I sang along to it every time after the first time I saw the stage! I freaking love the song and I love that line!! <3

Shiranui FTW!  don’t need to say more do I? Haha BUT seriously, he was so good in this and we got so much of him this time around! I was a happy bunny AND he got his own bromides whichi is just mind blowing! Furthermore, Shiranui’s costume is amazing! It’s so detailed! You can’t see the flower prints or the dark green on the DVDs and stuff so well but seeing it in person, it’s absolutely gorgeous! All of Shiranui’s interactions and scenes were great! I really love the slow mo fighting part during one of the Harada x Shiraniu fight scenes! Shiranui’s face every time is amazing in slowmo >.< Another scene I love is when he opens up towards the end and is like ‘there’s no such things as souls’ and Chizuru is like ‘I think you want to believe but you can’t because you’ve seen so many of your (human) friends die’ or something like that and it’s ... my feels!

The San Baka song is SO good! Especially when Shinpachi goes round punching everyone xD also it made my heart warm that Shinpachi enters the stage with a jump! During the HakuMyu Live 2 DVD event Fukuyama spoke of how he tried to copy Shuuto’s jump but Shuuto just has to much bounce and natural height to him when jumping that he couldn’t copy it, so seeing him really going for it in the stage made me very happy. I bet Shuuto giggled when he saw it just like me xD

I really, really, really, really love the new Shinsegumi group song and it’s dance <3 this song always made me cry at the end of part one quite a few times <3 it’s such a good song! I love ALL the new songs! They better bring out a CD this time around! For the love of god give me the CD of this!

Another song I loved was Kazama’s! It’s all rocky and it’s so good! I really like his new rock song ^_^ suits Hide very well. BUT, my entire thought process of Hide as Kazama was:

Round One:  This Kazama is very much like the anime. Voice and all. Round Two: Yeah he’s exactly like anime Kazama, no wonder I don’t like him (the stage character not Hide!) Round Three: I fucking HATE Kazama! He’s so fucking annoying! I am SO done with this Kazama Round Four: I am beyond done and don’t care about you anymore.

So safe to say Hide did a perfect job of bringing the real, canon Kazama to life, but unfortunately that’s the type of Kazama I cannot stand xD

And the touching! Like when Yamazaki is grabbing Chizuru from the back and on her wrist to try and keep her out of the fight <3 in fact ALL the touches/grabs the guys had with Chizuru when trying to protect her! We had Yama x Chizuru and Shinpachi x Chizuru, also I think Saito x Chizuru and Heisuke x Chizuru touching too!  It gave me so many feels <3 I loved it! I was so on bored with ALL the ships in this one >.< especially the Yama x Okita ship cos of MakiChan and TakaChan because after about the second or third watch, I’ve noticed that Okita and Yamazaki are together A LOT (meaning they keep pairing my TokiEnta boys together <3) and they have so many moments together that it was so fascinating just how many times! But course I thoroughly enjoyed that ^_^

One little comment is about in two different performance, Tonchan nearly lost his sheath during one of his fight scenes due to him spinning and moving fast xD he just grabbed it an threw it backstage when it happened.

PART TWO

The opening dream sequence is GOLD. I love it so much! Everytime this song comes on my music player I can see TonChan and his dance here so perfectly!  Also I FUCKING love when Shinpachi and co. come on stage! The first time I saw it I was like ‘wtf?! Shinapachi isn’t supposed to drink the Ochimizu!!!’ and his evil face during that scene when he attacks Harada is so freaking amazing! His evil smile is so evil but also somewhat sexy xD but I guess that’s cos of my Shinpachi Hell xD

Back to the screaming! In this second half with Yamazaki’s scream! So amazing! <3 Also Hijikata’s scream! Just everyone screaming is amazing okay! I guess that’s the messed up sadistic side of me? Or just damn fine acting!

Speaking of Yamazaki! Yamazaki’s scene... ugh do we need to talk about this.. yes we do because I love Yamazaki! It broke my heart as usual! I cried like a bitch every time and sometimes I even started crying way before the scene even started! But he like climbs/crawls up the stairs... my heart is breaking right now! BUT I saw one person’s review saying ‘why can’t they just kill Yamazaki off stage, why does he need a scene’ or something like that and let me tell you: I LOVE Yamazaki, I LOVE TakaChan, I NEED this scene! My beautiful TakaChan needs ALL the stage time he can get, okay! But him not dying would be more preferable>o< << as I wrote in the questionnaires every performance xD I get why and how it would work to have him die off stage but I need these scenes no matter how heartbreaking they are.

The Saito x Souji fight is GOLD and amazing! Their singing and song during it too is great! Apparently this song and scene has already been done before but clearly this version was a lot better and obviously stood out to me. Everything about this scene, the song, their voices, the choreography, the lighting, it’s all really good here!

I love when Shinpachi decides to leave Shinsengumi and comes back on stage like ‘Hiji don’t stop me! I’m going whether you like (Hiji: I know, I’m letting you go) it or not--- what?!’ and then he turns to Harada ‘I made up my mind!’ ‘I know.. we’re leaving too...’ ‘...what?! ... what?! Explain it to me so I can understand! What do you mean! Cos we’re friends right?!’ xD I died every time. Such a good moment <3

And then we have the Shinpachi x Harada fight that’s also GOLD! Just give me Shinpachi and Harada scenes all day okay! But also my love for the new Shinachi helps me love this scene too.

Oh jesus, oh my! The Okita crying after he finds out about Kondou’s execution and his scream crying scene broke me every time. Although I feel like MakiChan’s performance during my third time wasn’t as good as the other times, but lets assume it was just the mid-performance slump between the first and last performance day hype and adrenaline. But seriously this scene is so well acted from both MakiChan and Gaku! It’s such a raw and heartbreaking scene and yet it has so much love in it too! Like when Hijikata put his hand on Okita while Okita was lent on him and grabbing on him for dear life as he cried. My brain was just like ‘HIJI X OKITA!!!”. It’s just a small thing but omg Okita needs something like that to reassure him in that moment <3 So many minute things happen in this scene that make it all so perfect but ripping your heart out at the same time. 

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I finally finished my two parter comments. Now to some Performance differences or accidents or curtain calls and such. The tenses might be a little weird here but bare with me:

2017.04.26 14:00 Preview/Dress Rehearsal

Straight after it finished:

I remember why I hate Hakuouki so much....my emotions right now. I am fecking ruined! The second half just killed me.

2017.04.27 19:00 

I was at the very very back this night next to one kankeisha and the lighting and sound crew xD it was awesome! Also I’d say the back overall is a great view even though it’s a little far.

SHIRAMATA IS HERE!!!

I cried at the opening this night.

Everything went wrong this night and it was hilarious because it was nothing major:

First Hijikata’s sword broke! It was perfectly timing too when Kazama and him smacked swords but his sword part fell leaving him with just the handle in his hand and Gaku very smoothing just threw the handle away and finished the fight with (literally) blade in hand xD when it broke, me and several others (in our heads) thought ‘NO! Kane-san!!!’ xD and then because Gaku hadn’t thrown it far enough, during the next scene which was Saito’s you could just see this hand on the floor trying to grab the handle quickly but we ALL saw it xD 

Another one was Kondou and Sannan slightly fell UP the stairs towards the audience xD 

And the last mishap was towards the end of the drinking song where Yamazaki and Shinpachi pass each other BUT TakaChan was  a bit too close and flips the sake plate out of Fukuyama’s hand and he tried to catch it about 4 times before just letting it dropped and (smoothly in character) pointed at Yamazaki to pick it up so did and clean it on his shirt xD it was very in character and a good moment BUT it definitely wasn’t part of the scene xD was definitely an accident.

The curtain call was so emotional - already(!) which is not good. The speaker for the curtain call today was Teruma. Teruma spoke about how he was happy to be back and commented about Tonchan being the zachou and doing a great job to which Tonchan hugged Teruma after his speech <3 Teruma also said that he’d been watching Karin through the performances and rehearsals and said she was great but then he quickly added ‘I’m not a hentai! I promise! I don’t mean it that way!’  And thus got Karin crying and then poor Tsubasa was a wreck (every night he cried actually) and I saw MakiChan wiping tears away from his face too. It just got out of control this night with the tears xD it was only their second Tokyo performance! xD 

Also, I think it was this one where at the end of the second curtain call MakiChan and Imata hugged at the side of the stage before MakiChan skipped off xD

Apparently this performance is the one when I realised (and I quote) ‘I am so in love with this Shinpachi! He might have even over taken Shuuto!!’

Double curtain call.

2017.04.28 19:00

You know when I said being at the back had the best view? I was right! This night I was row 18 but me and the girl next to me were a LOT shorter compared to the two in front of us so even though we had center seats we had to constantly more left and right the entire show and I can still see this giant head blocking my view in my memory. It was so distracting! I know it’s not their fault they’re tall but jesus.... at least slump down! I always do just incase I get a tiny person behind me.

I think TakaChan missed his mark during the group song and came in a little too late xD

Also I think poor Tsubasa forgot his line during the first San baka scene. Sounded like he tripped over his words for a millisecond.

TonChan dropped his yari in a fight scene!!!! But luckily he smoothly grabbed it and the fight sounds continued to perfectly match him, well done sound crew.

I was able to sing along to some of the songs this night which made me happy xD

I cried at the end of part one this night xD

Curtain call was a triple curtain call and tonight’s speaker was Yamazaki/TakaChan. He spoke about it being 5 years since the first stage and he was like ‘we’ll d Yamazaki-hen okay! *everyone cheers* I’ll also go and see it’ WTF Takachan?! xD but that does means he read my damn letter about me wanting him to do Yamazaki-hen xD Also freaking MakiChanbbeing the comfortable troll he is, everytime TakaChan said something wrong in his speech he was immediately replying to him and giving him crap xD I love these boys so much. but I can imagine none TokiEnta fans wouldn’t have realised they were good friends and in the same company and stuff. But it made me happy seeing just how comfortable MakiChan was with being himself in front of everyone and just being himself with TakaChan on stage xD 

Makichan did so well with Tsubasa. Every night he’d put his arm around him or he’d hug him or give him a pat on the back. He was so supportive while Tsubasa just stood there crying his heart out every night <3

Also I freaking realised from the back of his head but I KNEW ShoSan had turned up! He had!! I was right mwahaha I promise I’m not creeping...

Every night during the ending song MakiChan would go to TakaChan and would do something stupid like poke him and stuff but this night TakaChan tried so hard to just ignore him xD it was so funny.

Also I have a note and a tweet that says ‘Guys... I’ve been kidnapped by this little shizzer...’and this is very Shinpachi hell really begins... I’ve posted enough pics of him throughout this post to prove it xD

Also this was definitely the performance where ‘I’m so effing done with this Kazama’s BULLSHIT’ xD

2017.04.29 19:00

The entire fucking old cast showed up! Shuuto, Ryo, Ono, Yazak and Edogawa. As soon as they walked in until the show actually started and between the breaks and after it finished literally the ENTIRE crowd was staring and talking about them. Serious kudos to the boys for completely not phasing at it at all, and just continuing their conversations between themselves and enjoying themselves in their conversations. Especially this one girl, who clearly obviously waited until the very last second to walk back in during the break so she could go up the stares nod a look at them and go to her seat. You THINK about doing these things, not actually do them! But having said that, on the first day me and my friend accidentally turned up 2 hours early instead of one hour and saw the cast go into the theatre. And we saw them running up and down the stairs at the back. Thank the lord for my very very sharp glasses xD yeah... we’re the creepy ones really aren’t we xD

Anyway back to this night: 

I cried a crap ton.

Luckily the girl next to me was a Shinpachi fan so we could talk about him a lot before and after the play and during the break xD

During the final ending song this night MakiChan got a piggyback from the ensemble cast xD

Poor baby Tsubasa cried his little heart out again just like every night xD

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And done! Now onto acting!! The rest of this should be short ^_^ thank god.

ACTING

TonChan: He is the perfect Harada! He’s tall, slim and yet still bares muscle and he dances pretty smoothly too and he’s so sexy as Harada. He did amazing in this and I definitely brought Harada-Hen to justice, but I’ve never played the game so don’t take my word xD

Karin: I already expressed my love for Karin and her Chizuru <3

Gakkun: I feel in this one Gaku finally had a complete grasp on his Hijikata and I feel he’s finally made Hijikata his own <3

MakiChan: MakiChan’s acting has improved once again as evidently seen in the way he builds up the coughs and such, and his scene with Hijikata is truelly an amazing and powerful performance. Him and Naya have great chemistry for the Okita x Saito conflict too. I feel MakiChan’s Okita is a lot more playful with that streak of evil in it which I’m really loving. He still shows this vulnerable childish and selfish Okita perfectly at times too. He has this great balance of the two sides of Okita going on <3

TakeChan: I LOVE TakeChan as Saito! As soon as he came on stage I was like ‘This IS Saito!’ he does it so perfectly and flawlessly. I was one of the rare ones who never really liked Shohei as Saito; something just didn’t sit well with me with his Saito. But Naya? He’s perfect! He took this role completely I feel like everyone saw Saito straight away rather than TakeChan or even his Saayo. I wish he had more stage time but I understand to ease him into HakuMyu and it’s audience you have to do it slowly at a time. I hope in the next stage he gets a LOT more time on stage, I really wanna see what he does with Saito <3 I dare say I think I prefer him over Ryo!!

Tsubasa: Oh my this angel! He IS ADORABLE as Heisuke! i freaking adore his Heisuke! He’s so cute! And he’s such a cute baby for crying every night <3 He was even adorable during the HakuMyu Live 2 DVD event I went to. As actors him and Naya are defo tied for most adorable and cute! I wanna see his Heisuke so much more! He has a good dynamic with Shoudai at least and I wanna see more San Bakaness with the three actors we currently have. I’m glad he was fully recovered this time too (he was injured throughout Live 2) so we could see him do some great action scenes!

Fukuyama Shoudai: This son of a bitch. This son of a bitch! Oh my I am in LOVE with his Shinpachi! He’s perfect! Absolutely perfect! I am SO into his Shinpachi! If they ever do Shinpachi-hen THIS GUY PLEASE! Oh my god I can’t <3 again, I think he’s beaten Shuuto for me personally as Shinpachi! Just everything about him! Every scene he was in he was so asmuing and I loved his and TonChan’s scenes and we finally see him be Shinpachi after not really seeing him in Live 2 and seeing at the HakuMyu Live 2 DVD event and hearing a lot of his thoughts and how difficult Live 2 was because he and Tsubasa were just told to copy the others and now finally get a chance to show off his Shinpachi and hearing how hard he worked to get Shinpachi right (watching Shuuto’s performances on DVD and such) - I am a happy bunny! Oh guys I cant’t with his Shinpachi.... I’ve never fallen so HARD for a character in my life.

Teruma: Lets admit it. Teruma is DAMN good at everything he does! Especially when it comes to song performances. And I’m glad he came back at Sannan. He freaking did an amazing job! That solo guys, that solo!

TakaChan: I am so glad he got to play a drunk Yamazaki and we got to see him more involved with the others this time. And like I said; ALL the Okita and Yamazaki interactions <3 But please can we stop killing YamaChan?! xD JUST ONCE! And when it’s NOT his Hen! xD

Imata Taira as Kondou Isami: Perfect as always! I think everyone in the audience loves him as Kondou and he proves that even though he’s older he’s just as loved and as popular in the HakuMyu fandom and he can do everything the other guys do just as well. He never disappoints me and he’s such a great guy <3

Hide: Like I said: The perfect (anime) Kazama which unfortunately is the type of Kazama I despise.

Soutarou as Amagiri Kyuujyu: We didn’t get to see much of him but then again we never do. I’m holding out verdict for him still. Hopefully he’s in the next one and I can make a solid opinion. But he did fine in this.

Kashiwagi: SHIRANUI!!!! My perfect bundle of perfectness <3 he’s flawless as Shiranui. He’s amazing as Shiranui. He did a perfect job and I am so happy with how much time he got on stage and he was dying to do HaradaHen too and I’m happy for him that he’s happy he could finally do it! I really love how Shiranui opens up towards the end with the whole soul thing. Kashi please don’t leave us after this one....

Kawamoto Hiroyuki as Yukimura Koudou: He was fine but I personally felt he was AWFULLY young to be playing her father, but I guess I’m still used to Edogawa and his older man looks xD He had a little song and he sounded great, and his performance was fine. Holding the verdict out on him still too.

Ensemble: They did an amazing job and had so much action to deal with and so much choreography (like everyone else) and so many roles to do! A special mention to  Sugawara Takeshi who’s a reoccurring ensemble member for HakuMyu (and some other stages me thinks) and he got most of the ensemble lines and main extra roles whenever there was one. 

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And finally onto the last section:

GOODS

I ended up getting all of Shinpachi’s stuff too but I can’t find my pic of them anywhere. Anyway here’s what my bag looked like most of the time too!

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Well that was LONG. How drunk is everyone now? xD If you managed to get through and read ALL that then goddammit you’re good. Hope you enjoyed it!

[rukakikuchi]

Infinity II: “Fiction” - Part 4 (Final)

The conclusion is finally here!

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“I’ll make a deal with you. Prove to this world that your love is true, and I shall allow you both to live this new life. However, if you fail…”

“Ruka…” A short figure turned in the bed, her eyes moving under her closed eyelids, dreaming of moments from the past as the name of the person she loved most escaped her lips several times.

Her eyes soon fluttered open as she found herself somewhere very familiar. She bolted up from the bed, gasping as she looked around at her surroundings.

“This is… Ruka’s mansion?”

She got up from the bed, slowly walking around the room toward a mirror. She was surprised to see her reflection in the mirror. She saw her face and hair looked different from before, and she was much shorter than her ordinary height.

“What?”

“Takahashi Minami,” she suddenly remembered the words that were spoken to her. The words from that person she made her deal with. “That is your new name. In this new life, you are no longer Takajima Maria.”

“Takahashi… Minami,” she repeated, looking at her new face.

It was then that she remembered something else.

“You and him will be given new lives.”

You and him…

“Ruka..!”

She rushed out of the door, running down the hallways with quick, light steps as she called her boyfriend’s name. In search of the vampire, she checked every room and every corner she could. Even now, she felt like she was constantly getting lost in this huge estate.

Maria soon reached the main hallway and found the very person she was searching for. Ruka’s unconscious body was collapsed on the floor, the young man’s long, black cape blanketed over him as he laid on the rug.

“No way…” She slowly came down the steps, drawing closer as she approached him. “It.. can’t be…”

She slowly knelt down to the floor, gently pulling off the cape. She found the man’s hair was now much longer, and instead of it’s striking silver color, it was now jet black with one white streak.

Maria’s hand gently pulled away the hair, seeing her vampire lover’s new face. His jawline was sharp and now gave his face an exotic look. Before, Ruka looked like an 17-year old teenage boy, even though he was centuries older. But this new appearance looked much more mature, closer to looking in his early 20’s.

Her hand then trailed down and felt his arm. Her eyes widened a bit as she felt he had much more muscle than before. She brought her hand to her mouth, her eyes wandering aimlessly as a small chuckle escaped her.

“He looks so different now… I can’t believe it’s him,” Maria said with a small smile, her cheeks slightly blushing.

“...Mari..a…”

The sound of his voice, so deep and smooth like velvet, made her heart skip. She held her breath as she saw the man begin to stir. Ruka’s eyes slowly opened, looking around before seeing the girl in front of him. He stared intently at her, slowly rising up as their gazes never broke.

“Ruka…” Maria smiled, touching the man’s face as tears started to fill her eyes. “It’s me.”

“..Maria?” he asked in a questioning tone. Maria gave an assuring nod, making his eyes widen. “Is that really you..? You are Maria?”

“I am…”

“Maria..!”

He didn’t hesitate to embrace the girl, his strong arms wrapping around her tiny waist. Maria cried over his shoulder, overjoyed to be back in her lover’s arms.

“I missed you so much..!” she said.

“Me too…” Ruka spoke, parting from the hug. “But… how is this possible..? What happened to me? To us?”

“We’ve been given a second chance, Ruka. To prove our love is true.”

“What..? How?”

“I’ll explain everything later,” she said, hugging him again as her smile grew. “Just let me be like this for a bit. It’s been far too long…”

The man smiled, planting a kiss gently on her head, making her giggle as she snuggled against his chest and…

Hm? Wait… what is this?

Maria’s eyes snapped open as she felt something unfamiliar. However, she quickly recognized what she was feeling, breaking away from her lover suddenly with her cheeks growing red.

“Eh..?!” she squeaked as she covered her mouth, looking at Ruka.

“W-what’s the matter?”

“Ruka… y-you, um.. You have…”

“What? What is it?”

“Y-your… chest…” Maria’s voice trailed off, too embarrassed to go on.

“My chest..? What about my--?” He started to ask, before touching his own chest and very quickly realizing what she meant. “Huh?!”

Looking down, Ruka could see clearly from under his white shirt… two bumps that weren’t present before.

“So, does that mean..?”

Ruka quickly turned around, hiding under his cape as he checked a certain area, before looking back with wide eyes.

“I’m… I’m a girl now?!”

Maria blushed a bit while Ruka just sat, taking everything in.

“So… I’m a woman now…” she sighed. “Okay then… Strange. But I can work with this.”

Maria then nodded. “Yes… I’ll have to get used to you as a female now.”

She then stood up, helping Ruka to her feet. She guided her now female vampire lover to the familiar room where they always spent time together, and began to explain their situation.

“Please, listen carefully,” she began, taking a deep breath. “The truth is… We’re no longer Ruka and Maria as we are now.”

“What?”

“This is a different world from the one we were in. These are just temporary bodies… All we really are is the memories of our past selves.”

Ruka furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t understand… What does this mean?”

“I’ll tell you how it happened… After you.. Left…”

“Yes…”

Maria clutched her chest. “I suffered so much grief from losing you, I began to lose hope… It became too much for me, so I sought for someone to take away my pain.”

“Who?”

“A sorceress.”

Flashback

“Please, I beg of you!” Maria begged the woman clad in black robes, hiding her face. The young girl’s eyes had bags under them, as she seemed very physically and emotionally exhausted. “Take my pain away.”

The sorceress said nothing while the girl continuingly begged for a way to relieve her of her sorrow. After some silence, the girl fell to her knees, pleading on her hands and knees to the sorceress.

“Please! I just want to end it all! Free me from my despair!”

“This is because you have lost someone dear?” the sorceress asked. “The heartbreak is too great to bear any longer?”

“Yes… I can’t go on anymore… I’ve given up on any hope of him returning to me… I just want to rest. Unable to feel pain or sadness.. Just empty slumber.”

After some silence, the sorceress pulled out a black vial and set it in front of Maria.

“If that is what you want, drink this,” she said. “After consuming this potion, your body will fall into an eternal sleep. No longer will you be burdened with painful emotions or sorrowful memories. All you will do is sleep forever, in a state between life and death.”

Maria took the vial with her hands shaking, holding it close to her.

“But, child, I must ask… is this truly what you want? Are you going to end your suffering all because of the pain of heartbreak?”

Tears started to well in the girl’s eyes, her voice speaking hoarsely.

“I just… w-wanted our love… to be accepted..!”

She opened the vial, taking a deep breath before drinking all the contents. After that, she looked back at the sorceress.

“Perhaps it could not be accepted in this world… but there may be hope for you elsewhere.”

“Elsewhe…?” Maria’s voice cut off short as she felt her mind shut off.

No emotions. No memories. No thoughts.

Just empty darkness…

“I wouldn’t give up on hope so easily,” she then heard the sorceress say.

She then began to dream. She found herself in the darkness, walking toward a mirror. Her reflection stepped out of the mirror, facing her with empty eyes.

“Me..?”

“No. That is what used to be Takajima Maria.”

“What… used to be..?”

“In this new world, her name is Kashiwagi Yuki. No longer is she burdened with memories of her past self or the immortal life of a vampire. She is a normal human girl.”

“But… what does that make me?”

“You are the remains of Takajima Maria. Her personality, her memories. Everything that girl in front of you was before.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I’ll make a deal with you… if you would so oblige to it.”

“A deal? What deal?”

“This girl and the reincarnation of who was formerly Murasame Ruka will be born into a new world, separate from your own. You and him will be given new lives, as well. New names and identities in order to keep that world from collapsing due to the sudden shift.”

“Me and Ruka?! He’s there?”

“He will be, if you agree to the deal. Prove to this world that your love is true, and I shall allow you both to live this new life.”

“How do we do that?”

“By bringing Kashiwagi Yuki to Murasame Ruka’s newest incarnate. Bring them together, remind them of who they used to be, and the world shall acknowledge your love.”

“That’s… all we have to do? Just get them to remember who they are and have them fall in love? That’s--”

“However, if you fail...” the sorceress interrupted.

Maria them saw her mirror self shatter into pieces of glass.

“Your and his existences will be erased.”

“What..?!”

“No longer will you both exist, in past, present, or future. You will no longer be reborn into any world and no recollection of you will be retained by anyone.”

Maria’s eyes widened, her heart racing at the thought of her and Ruka being erased from the world without a trace.

She then saw the sorceress melt out of the mirror, holding her hand out.

“Do we have a deal… Maria?”

End of Flashback

Ruka was silent, sitting with her head low.

“I’m sorry… But, if we prove to her and to the world that our love is true, we can finally be together. There are no vampire hunters or other mystical beings in this world. We can live normal lives as human beings.”

Maria took her lover’s hands, looking in her eyes with a smile.

“Won’t that be a dream come true?” she asked. “More than any eternity… We can just be normal. We’ll live happily side by side, growing old together, in bliss with no more troubles.”

“Maria…”

“After all, isn’t that what we both wanted, in the end? A life together…”

Ruka touched her cheek, making her heart race a bit as she leaned closer.

“No matter how long… Whether it’s just an eternity…”

“Or just one day.”

The two kissed sweetly and passionately. Maria’s arms embraced the woman, laying a head on her chest.

“We’re human now… We have one more chance. So, let’s make the most of it.”

“If that’s truly what you want…” Ruka looked down, holding her lover dear close. “I’ll do anything for you… my Maria.”

Maria chuckled. “Actually, it’s Minami now.”

“Eh?” Ruka raised a brow as she broke the hug.

“Takahashi Minami; that’s my new name. And you’re Akimoto Sayaka.”

“Minami…” Sayaka repeated, hearing the girl chuckle.

“Sayaka.”

“Very well… Minami. Let’s.. do our best.”

“Yeah.”

----------------------------

Back in present day

“Sae-san?! Oi, Sae-san! What’s the matter?” Tano Yuka yelled as she shook the boyish girl collapsed on the floor.

“Someone get the nurse!” Ryoka said as she and Juri ran out.

“Yuka, calm down,” Akane said. “I’ll look after Sae. Go find Sayaka and Takamina.”

“Eh..?! Ah, right!”

Yuka started to run out, only to be stopped when she saw the very two enter. Cradled in Sayaka’s arms was an unconscious Yuki.

“Yukirin?!”

“What’s going on?” Sayaka asked them.

“W-we found Sae-san in here, passed out,” Yuka explained. “But what happened to--?!”

“Relax, we’ll take care of it,” the woman said firmly. She looked over to Minami, “You and Akane go tell the cast about the current situation. Then meet me back here.”

“Alright. Churi, let’s go.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Churi grabbed Yuka’s wrist, dragging her along as they left with Minami.

Sayaka placed Yuki on the bed before approaching Sae. She saw the girl was crying, incoherent whimpers softly escaping from her lips.

“Sae…” Sayaka picked the girl up, placing her in the bed beside Yuki. “If this is what that sorceress meant… then please, remember who you are when you wake up.”

-----------------------

“Wait, Takamina-san, slow down!” Akane urged as she and Yuka tried to catch up.

Minami ignored Akane’s pleas as she continued down the hallway. She felt the girl grab her hand, trying to slow her down. In her panic, she slipped her hand out of her grasp, making her turn around.

“Churi, we have to--” she stopped, however, when she saw the girl was nowhere to be found. “Eh? ...Churi? Yuka?! Where’d you go?!”

It was then she noticed, the clock on the wall was no longer moving.

“Did time stop..?”

“Sorry for doing this so suddenly,” a familiar voice rose. “But I needed to talk to you some way.”

“That voice…” She looked up to see a figure at the top of the stairs, smiling at her. She furrowed her brows in confusion. “Rena-sensei?”

Rena walked down the stairs, facing Minami.

“You won’t have to stress another minute. Those two are finally starting to remember.”

“W-wait… how do you know?”

“Aren’t you the one who asked me to do all of this?” she asked before giggling. “How could you forget, Maria~?”

Minami’s eyes widened, suddenly realizing what was going on.

“You’re… that sorceress?!”

“Still, do you know how hard it was, transferring all four of you to this world? As a result, my magic was weakened temporarily.”

“So… this whole time.. You were watching us?”

“That’s right,” she said, stretching her arms. “I wanted to see if your love was true.”

“So, you pretended to be a human in this world to watch us?”

“Yup. And, just so you know, I was also able to rid Miyazawa Sae of her amnesia earlier.”

“Eh?”

“That injury was what unlocked her past memories. I just gave her the final push to remembering.”

“So, when she and Yuki wake up..!”

“They should remember… but the final choice is up to them?”

Minami furrowed her brows again. “What are you talking about?”

Rena just gave a smirk. “You’ll see,” she answered, then snapped her fingers.

“Takamina-san! Wait up!” Minami heard Akane’s voice as she saw the two girls reappear behind her, and Rena disappeared. Akane looked at her puzzled, “You okay?”

“Um, yes. I’m fine. Let’s go.”

-------------------------

“...Maria? Maria!”

Yuki woke up, finding herself in an empty white space. Her whole mind was blank; she didn’t know where she was or how she had gotten here. She slowly raised herself up, looking around.

“Where is this..?”

“This is your mind, Takajima Maria,” a calm voice echoed.

Yuki looked and saw a figure in a black robe, a hood covering their face. She backed away slightly, growing anxious.

“It’s time for the final judgement. Everything is up to you and her now.”

“W-what are you talking about?”

The figure pointed behind her. Yuki looked and saw a door appear feet away from her. Feeling drawn by some force to go to it, she slowly stood up and walked towards the door. Her hand touched the doorknob, turning it gently before opening the door.

She stepped into a room unfamiliar to her. It looked like she was in a mansion study, a private study where it seemed two people could talk and enjoy each other’s company. On a table in the center of the room sat a glass of red wine and a blue rose in a vase side by side. For some reason, she felt like she had been here, talking with someone in this room.

“I dreamed of you, Ruka.”

“I dreamed about you, too.”

Yuki turned around, thinking she heard someone behind her. But she didn’t see anyone.

It was then she felt a new feeling rise; the feeling that someone was here, and she had to find them. Someone needed her.

She found a door and ran out of the room, entering a large hallway. The next moment, she let her legs move on their own, taking her down what felt like an endless maze of hallways. All the while, she felt as if her mind was also trying to go through a maze, trying to remember where she was and what her current situation is.

“I… Yes, I feel like.. I’ve been down these halls before. These halls that were empty and wide, in this large mansion.. A world for just me and… Someone else..! That’s right. Someone else was here with me! But who? Who was it? Their name.. Their name was..!”

She found herself facing a new door. Immediately, her hand grabbed the handle and the door flew open. She looked to see someone sleeping, alone in a large bed. A young man, or perhaps, a young woman who appeared to be a man? A person with… white hair?

From her breathless voice, a name slipped through her lips, “...Ru...ka..?”

Yuki approached the bed, looking down at the person sleeping. Asleep as if under a spell, a curse like the Sleeping Beauty. A 100-year slumber that couldn’t be broken, until bestowed a kiss of true love. She stroked their cheek with the back of her hand, and gently, placed a kiss on their forehead…

“So that’s your decision.”

….

Yuki yawned as she woke up, finding herself in the infirmary.

“Hmm… hm? Huh..? Why am I in the infirmary?”

As she rose herself up, she heard a soft sigh, followed by a loud yawn.

“That was a good nap~” Sae said as she stretched her arms, before realizing where she was. “Eh? Huh?! When did I end up here?”

“Sae?”

Sae looked over at Yuki, seeing the girl staring as if she had just woken up from a dream.

“Yukirin… Um, any idea how we got here?” she asked.

“Not sure… We were rehearsing for the play, and then…” Yuki tried to recall, but her memory was fuzzy. “Huh? That’s weird… I really don’t remember.”

“I just remembering falling asleep during break,” Sae ruffled her hair. Then, she started laughing.

“Eh? Why are you laughing?”

“I dunno… I’m just happy being with you.”

Yuki blushed a bit before laughing with her.

Meanwhile…

“Sayaka!” Minami ran towards Sayaka, grabbing her arm. “Sayaka… the sorceress.. She..!”

“What?! The sorceress is here?”

“It’s Rena! She was the sorceress, this whole time!”

“No way!”

“And she said Sae and Yuki are..!”

The two immediately ran to the infirmary, but Sayaka stopped. They looked in, seeing Yuki and Sae were talking casually together. Minami was surprised, but ultimately relieved that the two seemed very happy together.

“So… they remember now? They’re Ruka and Maria again?” Sayaka asked.

“Not quite,” Rena’s voice rose, the sorceress appearing behind them.

“Rena..!”

“What do you mean, ‘not quite’?”

“Didn’t I tell you? The final judgement would be up to them. They’re the ones who chose who they were going to be.”

“Chose who.. They would be?”

Flashback, moments earlier...

Feeling Yuki’s kiss, the white haired boy woke up from his long slumber. He opened his eyes and saw the girl in front of him.

“Yukirin..?” he spoke, a feminine voice escaping.

Yuki’s eyes widened. “Sae? Is that you?”

Sae sat up from the bed, staring at the girl.

“I… Yukirin, I remember. I’m Ruka,” she said with a smile, holding her cheeks. “Do you remember?”

“Ruka..?” Yuki blinked, the memory finally hitting her. “Ruka!”

She hugged the girl in front of her, clutching onto her like her favorite teddy bear. She ruffled the short white hair, a wide smile curving her lips.

“Ruka… I can’t believe it’s you..!”

“Yukirin… No, Maria!” The two parted, tears forming in the boyish girl’s eyes. “Maria… it really was you, this whole time. I should’ve known.”

“Oh, Ruka… How could I forget you?”

Ruka held her head, their foreheads touching as they could hear the faint sounds of their hearts beating. As if to initiate a kiss, the boyish vampire closed her eyes. However, sitting in silence, no one made a move.

“Actually…” Maria finally spoke, making Ruka open her eyes. With a smile, she said, “I like ‘Sae’ better.”

She didn’t need to say anything else. She knew exactly what she meant. Yuki placed her head on Sae’s shoulder, holding the girl’s hand.

“I think I like calling you ‘Yukirin’ more, too.”

End of Flashback

“They chose ‘Sae and Yuki’ over ‘Ruka and Maria’. In other words, they chose their present over their past.”

“But… what does that mean for us?” Minami asked.

“You two,” Rena then took their hands, making them intertwine together. “Enjoy your new future, Ruka, Maria.”

“R-Ruka?”

“Maria?!”

With one final smile and wave, Rena disappeared.

“Ah! Ruka, Maria!” Sae’s voice rose as the two left the infirmary. The boyish girl saw their hands being held together. “Ahh~ cute! I knew the rumors were true!”

“Rumors?!”

“You two ARE dating!”

“Eh, such rumors were being spread?” Yuki asked, Sae answering with a nod. “Oh my gosh! Maria-san, you should’ve told me!”

Minami blinked. “Did… you just call me ‘Maria’?”

“Of course. That is your name, after all.”

Sayaka and Minami looked at each other, then looked back at them.

“Th-that’s right! Takajima Maria, that’s me!” Minami said.

“Hmm, now that I think about it, Ruka and Maria’s names are the same as in the musical.”

“Ah! Does that mean the play is your love story?!” Sae asked, teasing the two.

“Alright, calm down,” Sayaka said. “Go back and meet up with the rest of the cast.”

“Yes, ma’am!” the two said, walking down the hall, hand-in-hand.

“So, that’s SaeYuki, huh?” Sayaka said, wrapping her arm around Minami’s shoulders. “And now, we’re Ruka and Maria.”

Minami giggled. “Seems like it…”

-----------------------

The next day...

“Thank you very much!” The cast took their final bow as the school applauded them.

As the curtain closed, the girls ran backstage, all relieved that they were able to pull off the show. Some were crying in relief, some happily dancing.

“We did it~!” Sae cheered as she hugged Yuki from behind. “Yukirin, that was awesome!”

“Yeah! I’m happy!”

“Ah, also…” Sae then faced the girl, putting her hand near her lips. “I was thinking, would you wanna go out this weekend?”

Yuki blushed. “You mean… a date?”

“If you didn’t mind.”

The girl giggled, placing a kiss on Sae’s cheek. “I’d love to.”

Meanwhile…

“We actually did it… We actually DID it!” Maria said excitedly as she laid across the couch in her office. “Can you believe it?!”

Ruka just patted her head, giving her a calm smile.

“Ruka… what do you wanna do for the summer? We didn’t really get to have an official first date before. So, maybe, when we’re finished here, you and I could…?”

“I’ve already made preparations,” Ruka said, handing the short girl several pamphlets. “I told you I’d show you everything in the world.”

“Ehh?! Seriously?!”

“Yes. A vacation for just the two of us. We can finally make happy memories together.”

Maria hugged her girlfriend, pecking her lips shortly.

“Feels good to finally be together.”

“Indeed, it does.”

The End

[cryingcow]

Character Story - Kiryu [RGGO]

I finally managed to get some of my cards to level 3! Brief overview: Character Stories are 3-chapter stories featuring a particular character. Not all cards have Character Stories attached to them, sadly, but the main characters have one at the very least. With that, I want to start off with our fave Dragon Dad!

Story: Kiryu gets an offer to run an orphanage, but he’s hesitant to accept. Date is a real bro, and Haruka makes her kid neighbors ragequit with her kick-the-can skills.

Kiryu: (I can’t make the decision to go to Okinawa on my own. I need to convince Haruka as well.)

Kiryu the Master of Self-Sabotage: “Hey Haruka how would you like to never see any of your friends ever again??”

.

CHAPTER 1

.

|2007 . . . Goda Ryuji and the Omi Alliance, and the Korean Mafia Jingweon. Around the end of the conflict between these two hostile forces and the Tojo Clan . . .|

[Kiryu and Haruka’s place]

Haruka: “Ojii-san. Is curry good for today?”

Kiryu: “Hm? Ah, yes. Let me help you cook.”

Haruka: “No thanks, Ojii-san, just sit down.  . . . Oh, we have no meat anymore. What should we do . . .”

Kiryu: “Should I go buy some?”

Haruka: “Hmm. But we’re almost over our food budget for this month . . . Ojii-san, do you need meat?”

Kiryu: “Oh . . . I’m so sorry, Haruka.”

Haruka: “Eh?”

Kiryu: “Next time . . . when my salary arrives, let’s go out for yakiniku.”

Haruka: “. . . okay. I’m looking forward to it!”

----

[Outside Kiryu and Haruka’s place]

Kiryu: “Well then, I’ll be going now.”

Haruka: “Okay. Ojii-san, call me if you’re going to be home late.”

Kiryu: “I will.”

Kiryu: (Well, I should head on to Kashiwagi-san. I wonder why he asked me to drop by so suddenly?)

----

[Kazama Family office]

Kashiwagi: “. . . you came, Kiryu. I’m sorry for calling you over.”

Kiryu: “No, it’s fine.  . . . your office, it’s fixed. The Jingweon blew it up.”

Kashiwagi: “Ah . . . well I can’t stay in a temporary office forever. This was a rush job. But enough on that.  . . . Kiryu, are you willing to live in Okinawa?”

Kiryu: “Live in Okinawa? Me?”

Kashiwagi: “There’s actually an orphanage in Okinawa similar to your orphanage Sunflower. It’s called ‘Morning Glory’. Your father Kazama is also involved in it.”

Kiryu: “Oyassan . . .”

Kashiwagi: “There are 8 children there now. Unfortunately, the caretaker died.”

Kiryu: “. . . so, you want me to be the caretaker?”

Kashiwagi: “Yes. Would that be fine? Of course, Haruka can come with you.”

Kiryu: “. . . Thank you for your offer, but I’m already taking care of a child.”

Kashiwagi: “Well, I thought I would offer anyway. I’ll listen with an old woman’s heart. Kiryu, are you doing well?”

Kiryu: “What do you mean?”

Kashiwagi: “I’m wondering if you’re making a proper livelihood. Do you have a regular job?”

Kiryu: “No, it’s . . .”

Kashiwagi: “It’s a wall that those who wash their feet of the yakuza hit. I don’t blame you. Not to mention you’re a bit of a celebrity, but you still have to feed Haruka. Being the caretaker of Morning Glory doesn’t pay big, but it’s a stable job. I think it’s a good start to staying away from the gang life’s baggage.”

Kiryu: “. . .”

Kashiwagi: “I’m sorry. I ended up talking a lot. Just think it over for a while.”

Kiryu: “Thank you. Can you give me some time to reply?”

Kashiwagi: “Sure.”

----

[Theater Square]

Kiryu: (Me, a director. I can’t imagine. But, Kashiwagi-san is right. I’m working day-to-day just to get enough money to eat.  . . . I want to take good care of Haruka. Even send her to college.)

Omi Alliance remnant: “There he is! Kiryu!!”

Kiryu: “. . . Omi. The war is over.”

Omi Alliance remnant: “What would you know . . . killing a bastard like you would make a great souvenir. Die! Kiryu!!”

Kiryu: “Tch.”

{Kiryu defeats the Omi remnants.}

Date: “Oi! What are you guys doing! . . . oh, Kiryu.”

Kiryu: “Date-san . . .”

Date: “. . . What’s with that unusual face?”

 .

-END-

 .

CHAPTER 2

.

[People’s Park 3]

Date: “I see. Okinawa.”

Kiryu: “Yeah.”

Date: “So what will you do? Are you taking the position?”

Kiryu: “To be honest, I’m worried.”

Date: “‘I can’t be a kid’s talisman, but I don’t want to make her life harder’. Is that it?”

Kiryu: “What do you think?”

Date: “Is it okay? If you don’t want it, then say no.”

Kiryu: “Eh? No, but . . .”

Date: “Haruka thinks living together with you is more important than having money. So, decide on ‘what do I want to do’ instead of ‘what should I do’.”

Kiryu: “What do I want to do . . .”

Date: “Besides, you might think you’re not suitable, but I think the opposite. I think you’d be good at taking care of children. You’ve become more well-rounded ever since you’ve been living together with Haruka.”

Kiryu: “Really?”

Date: “Heh. I was surprised when I found out that Kazama Shintaro was taking care of an orphanage, so I don’t know if it’s suitable for you or not. I mean, I split up with Assari, and I thought we would be lifetime companions.”

Kiryu: “. . . I don’t know if I should laugh at that joke or not.”

Date: “That’s what I can tell, at least. The story grows longer as you get older. That’s what Saya says.”

Kiryu: “Heh. No, it was helpful. Thank you.”

Date: “See you.”

{Date leaves. Omi Alliance remnants appear.}

Omi Alliance remnant: “Hehehe, you were here all along, Kiryu . . .”

Kiryu: “. . . later. I’m thinking now.”

Omi Alliance remnant: “Okay, then think carefully . . . in the other world!!”

{Kiryu beats them up, then heads home.}

----

[Outside Kiryu and Haruka’s place]

Kiryu: (It’s really late because I got entangled with those guys. Hm? That’s . . .)

{Haruka is playing kick-the-can with two boys and absolutely wiping the floor with them.}

Kiryu: (. . . Haruka. She looks so happy.)

Haruka: “Ah, Ojii-san! You’ve returned? Welcome back!”

Kiryu: “Yeah, I’m back. Are these your friends?”

Haruka: “Yup. They’re Takashi and Ko. I was playing kick-the-can with them. There were many others earlier, but I always win? I’m the only girl here.”

Kiryu: “Heh. Is that so. Was it fun?”

Haruka: “Yup!”

Kiryu: (. . . that’s right. Going to Okinawa is not just my dilemma. Haruka also has school and friends who live here.)

Kiryu: “. . . Haruka. Can I ask you something? Will you be sad if you can’t play with Takashi-kun anymore?”

Haruka: “Eh? That . . . would be sad. But why?”

Kiryu: “. . . no. It’s nothing.”

Haruka: “Ojii-san, you’re acting strange.”

Kiryu: (So far, Haruka’s life has been hard, and she’s been forced to grow up so fast. That’s why . . . I want to protect Haruka’s smile. I don’t want her to feel lonely anymore.  . . . tomorrow, I’ll go to Kashiwagi-san.)

 .

-END-

 .

CHAPTER 3

 .

[Kiryu and Haruka’s place]

Kiryu: “Well then, I’ll be off.”

Haruka: “Yup.”

{Kiryu leaves. The telephone rings and Haruka answers.}

Haruka: “Yes, this is Kiryu���s place.”

Date’s voice: “Oh, Haruka. Is Kiryu there?”

Haruka: “Date-san? Ojii-san went out a while ago. Is something wrong?”

Date’s voice: “No, I’m just worried about how he’s been. But he went out . . .”

Haruka: “Yup. For some reason, Kashiwagi-san has an errand for him.”

Date’s voice: “What? I see. Then I guess Kiryu decided that he’ll go to Okinawa.”

Haruka: “To Okinawa?”

Date’s voice: “Yeah, didn’t Kiryu tell you?”

----

[Outside Kiryu and Haruka’s place]

Kiryu: (Well, I should go to Kashiwagi-san.)

Omi Alliance remnants: “Kiryu! You can’t escape!”

Kiryu: “. . . tch. It seems before the problem of Okinawa, I have to deal with these guys first.”

Omi Alliance remnants: “Die! Kiryu!!”

{Kiryu defeats them.}

Kiryu: “Jeez. These guys are persistent . . .”

Haruka: “Ojii-san!”

Kiryu: “Hm? Haruka . . . what’s wrong?”

Haruka: “I just got a phonecall from Date-san. I heard you were going to Okinawa.”

Kiryu: “!”

Haruka: “Hey Ojii-san. What does that mean?! Is that Kashiwagi-san’s errand?”

Kiryu: “I’m sorry I kept silent.  . . . But I still won’t talk about it.”

Haruka: “Eh?!”

Kiryu: “You don’t have to worry about anything, Haruka.”

Haruka: “. . . Ojii-san. By any chance, are you refusing to go to Okinawa because of me?”

Kiryu: “That is . . .”

Haruka: “. . .”

Kiryu: “. . . Haruka. You have a life here. You have school and friends. It’s too selfish to go to Okinawa for my own convenience. I think-”

Haruka: “Stop it, Ojii-san.”

Kiryu: “Eh?”

Haruka: “I don’t want to just be my uncle’s baggage! It’s much harder than breaking up with friends.”

Kiryu: “Haruka . . .”

Haruka: “Hey, Ojii-san. What were you planning to do without me?”

Kiryu: “. . . I . . . . . . I was thinking for a long time. What reasons would I, a former yakuza, have to go to Okinawa and run an orphanage? The income is stable. It will be for Haruka’s future. But above all . . . I want to help children without parents. My father Kazama would want me to guide children as he did with me, Nishiki, and Yumi.”

Haruka: “I see . . . then Ojii-san, I have a request.”

Kiryu: “Request? What is it?”

Haruka: “Let me help my uncle out. I can understand the feeling of a child without parents, too.”

Kiryu: “Haruka . . . alright. Please help me.”

Haruka: “Yup. Ojiisan, let’s do our best together!”

Kiryu: “. . . thank you, Haruka . . .”

----

[Kazama Family office]

Kashiwagi: “. . . I see. Together with Haruka-chan.”

Kiryu: “Yes. We can help orphans together, is what I thought.”

Kashiwagi: “Heh. Kiryu, it sounds like it was quite the conversation.”

Kiryu: “Haruka pushed her position. ‘I also want to help’, she said. She has a life here, but she also wants to help the orphans with me. She said so.”

Kashiwagi: “Really . . . Kiryu, it seems like you found yourself a reliable partner.”

Kiryu: “Heh. Looks like it.”

Kashiwagi: “Then . . . what I asked, about Morning Glory?”

Kiryu: “Yes. I’ll do it.”

 .

-END-

Masterlist

[bi-naesala]

Failure

Fandom: Yakuza

Rating: T

Warnings: Major Character Death

Relationships: Kiryu Kazuma & Nishikiyama Akira, Kiryu Kazuma & Nishikiyama Yuko

Characters: Nishikiyama Akira, Kiryu Kazuma

Additional Tags: Hurt No Comfort, Bad Ending, Suicide, Angst, Yuko isn't directly present but she gets mentioned, Kashiwagi also appears, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Summary:

What if Matsushige hadn't shown up when Nishiki was about to kill himself?

(Also on AO3)

Fic under the cut

It’s raining outside, a perfect match for how Nishiki’s feeling.

His eyes are fixed to the small shrine on the table in front of him, on the name that has been engraved on it: Yuko.

 He still can’t believe she’s not in this world anymore. To think that he was so hopeful about this surgery…

It’s his fault that she couldn’t make it: if he hadn’t fucked up, the doctor wouldn’t have skipped town. All because of his incompetence.

 Mistakes must be punished, this is what he thinks as he reaches for the knife that he’s been keeping beside him. It’s almost like it’s calling to him, a siren chant that Nishiki can’t resist.

He unsheathes the knife, observing his sad reflection on the blade. Eh, he can almost hear Kiryu teasing him about how bad he looks…

 Kiryu.

His thoughts go to him, who’s wasting away in a cell because of him. It should be the other way around.

Nishiki wanted to carve some space for himself so that he could welcome him with open arms; for once, he would’ve been the one depending on him, and not the other way around.

 Not even that he was able to do right.

He’s pathetic.

 What does he have left? Why should he keep wasting space and resources?

Yuko, Yumi, Kiryu… They all deserve so much more than what they’ve got. They should be in his place, while he’s dead on the ground.

Well, he’ll soon put some remedy to that at least.

 In his final moment, he thinks about Kiryu, of how much he’s letting him down.

He’s in prison for a crime that he committed, and he’s not even able to make sure that he’ll be welcomed back with open arms; and yet, a malignant voice whispers to him, won’t he be welcomed back no matter what? Because Kiryu is Kiryu, while Nishiki is…

If he were the one in prison, it wouldn’t matter, because he’s not Kiryu. He doesn’t matter. For all they care, he could die without making a difference.

 It’s not right…

 Realizing what he’s thinking, all Nishiki can feel are guilt and shame.

Kiryu has sacrificed his freedom for him, and all he can do to repay him is to think badly of him for something that, he knows, god Nishiki knows, isn’t his fault.

Envy has always been something he’s had to deal with since the first time he and Kiryu met, but to think that after all this time he still hasn’t managed to control it, that sometimes - no, more than that - it still manages to get under his skin…

Truly shameful, and ain’t that another good reason why he shouldn’t be here anymore?

 His hands are trembling as they hold the blade that will do the deed, but soon they still as a weird sense of absolute calm washes over Nishiki.

It’s like a sort of enlightenment, something that he’s never experienced until this very moment. Now, he can only lament that his mind has never been this clear before; it would’ve certainly helped way before now, but he supposes that he can’t control this kind of stuff, can’t he?

 At least he knows what he has to do now, and he’ll do it, without hesitation.

  It hurts way less than he thought it would. Actually, it almost feels good, because he knows he’s doing the right thing.

As his strength abandons him, he can’t help a sad smile from appearing on his face. He almost feels like crying; whether it’s from happiness or sadness, that much is unclear for his hazy mind.

There’s only one thing he can think, only a few words that ring loud enough for him to still hear them.

“Bro… Kiryu… I’m sorry…”

  Kiryu betrays no emotion as he walks inside the graveyard.

Of all the things he expected to find out after being released from jail, Yuko and Nishiki having died was the last of them.

No, Nishiki didn’t just die, he committed seppuku. Those are two very different things…

Kiryu still hasn’t processed it. In prison, life was like in slow motion for him, stuck in a miserable routine, so now he’s unused to this speed.

 When he got released, Kashiwagi-san came personally to greet him, saying that Kazama-san was waiting for him. It was him, while driving him to the Kazama family office, that broke him the news of Nishiki’s death. It felt like a stab in the heart.

Kiryu was so cold as Kashiwagi-san kept talking, voice low, almost apologetic. There were so many things that he wanted to ask: how could it have happened? How could they have let it happen? And yet, he said nothing, knowing that if he tried to speak, he would’ve just screamed, and that wasn’t something he wanted to do at the moment.

 He did make one request though: to stop by Nishiki’s grave before going to Kazama-san. He’s sure the old man has something important to tell him, but… He needs to do this first.

Kashiwagi-san looked about to try to dissuade him, but something - maybe guilt, who knows? - made him change his mind.

“Alright Kiryu, as you wish.”

  Nishiki’s grave is right beside Yuko’s. At least they haven’t been separated after death, although the knowledge is little to no consolation.

As Kiryu kneels down on the ground, uncaring that he’s going to get his suit dirty, he imagines Nishiki and Yuko - a healthy Yuko - walking together, hand in hand, laughing and joking around like nothing’s wrong. Ah, what he’d give to see this…

He closes his eyes, narrowing his brow, lips quivering. He wants to say something, but he has no idea about what. What would even be appropriate in this situation? Would saying “I’m sorry” be enough?

 Yes, Kiryu is sorry, so very sorry: he feels like he’s abandoned Nishiki, left him to fend alone for himself.

Had he been there with him, would things be different? Would he be alive? Would Yuko be alive? He still doesn’t know exactly how she died…

In the end, despite how much he wants to, he can’t change the past. Besides, if he hadn’t been the one going to prison, Nishiki would’ve, and who knows how that would’ve gone, not to mention that Yuko would’ve been left alone… Well, not alone, because Kiryu would’ve stuck with her of course, but he doubts the news of her brother going to jail would’ve done wonders to her health.

No matter what happened, it feels like someone would’ve been lost either way, but is it really? Was this destined to happen? Were Nishiki and Yuko to die, without any chance of changing things for themselves?

… It’s useless to wonder about these things. After all, it’s not like Kiryu can change the course of fate.

 When he opens his eyes, he almost expects - hopes - to wake up, to find out that this is only a nightmare, but unfortunately that’s not the case.

It’s real. All this is real, and there’s nothing he can do to make it better.

 He gets up, going first to Yuko’s grave, stretching a hand to touch the stone surface, brushing his fingers against where her name has been inscribed.

He can’t hold back a frown when he notices how dusty - and generally dirty - her grave is. He’ll bring that up to Kashiwagi-san and Kazama-san, because he finds it unacceptable.

“I’m sorry, Yuko…” he murmurs, as if the grave can hear him.

After a moment, he turns to Nishiki’s grave, managing to move the necessary steps to get closer to it. Uh, there’s dust on here too…

Is there anybody tasked to keep them clean? Apparently, no. Kiryu tries his best to remove some dust with his hand, though there’s still so much even after he’s done; he makes a mental note to bring some cleaning supplies next time he visits; if nobody wants to do it, he will.

He gently rests his forehead against the cold stone; for a moment he imagines it’s Nishiki and not just a grave.

“Nishiki… I’m…”

He’s managed to hold back until now, but he can’t anymore. He’s silent in the way he cries, mourning the loss of someone that has always been so dear to him, his friend, his bro…

“I shouldn’t have abandoned you,” he mutters, opening his eyes, staring at the stone surface. “I’m so sorry…”

 The wind begins to pick up, a gentle breeze that almost caresses Kiryu’s body, making him wonder if it’s Nishiki doing this, if it’s his way to talk to him, now that he can’t anymore. Is it forgiveness, or is there something else he’s trying to tell him?

 For a vain moment, he hopes that, once he opens his eyes, he’ll be greeted by Nishiki telling him this was all just a joke - a tasteless one, but a joke nonetheless.

Unfortunately - though he expected it - when he does it, he’s met by the same grave from before.

“I promise you, I’ll raise to the top,” he vows, then, brushing a hand against the stone, remembering what he and Nishiki had promised each other - it feels so long ago. “I’ll make you proud, Nishiki. I’ll do it…”

 There’s nothing else for him to say, or at least there’s nothing else that he can bring himself to say, not with all the thoughts swimming inside his head. Keeping up with them is proving to be a harder task that he thought.

As he takes a few steps behind, Kiryu feels lightheaded, a very similar feeling to when he’s drunk, even though he’s sober - for now, because later he plans to get as smashed as he can. He shakes his head, trying to get it together, and he manages to succeed, at least from an outside perspective.

 He feels bad about abandoning Nishiki and Yuko again, but Kiryu needs to go. He knows this was just a detour, and that he can’t stay here for too long, not when he knows there’s something Kazama-san needs to tell him.

This doesn’t mean though that he feels good as he begins to walk away, towards the parking lot where Kashiwagi-san is waiting for him.

Now that he’s seen Yuko and Nishiki’s graves, a heavy burden has settled upon his shoulders, but with it, also comes conviction.

 Yes, he’ll raise to the top, just like he and Nishiki had promised to each other so long ago.

He’ll do it for them.