#Ha! Me whenever a MAGA opens it's mouth...

[reallyunluckyrunaway]

[akimmito]

Road to Home #10

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Marie Todd-Wang.

Why does her new name look horribly similar to what her brother adopted when Batman took him in? Simply its luck and she will hit anyone in the face who decides to use it full.

She has been living with Master Fu for a full year, as she decided to call him because it was rare to call him father (in any case, she could call him grandfather, but it's rare). In that time she learned many interesting things, but especially the fact that the old man in front of her intends that she save the world by wearing magic jewelry as an anime character.

Seriously, what about her life?

The only good thing is that she's being trained properly, she's enrolled in quite a few martial arts classes: Judo, Jiu-Jitsu, Capoeira, Krav Maga (she doesn't know where he knows the guy from, but whenever Fu and he meet they seem ready to draw knives and attack each other), Kendo (by the Dragon prodigy, his words, not her), Kung-fu, Tai chi (taught by Fu as he learns to connect with Plagg). Added to that, she's also enrolled in gymnastics and every time she flies she can't help but think of the first Robin (and sometimes she gets mad).

And that is only training, physical, in spiritual subjects she has memorized several books of angelology and demonology, history and different books of magic... that she can't use, only know. Really sir?

Anyway, she has had a very busy year and is still learning. She only masters Kendo (it was actually natural about it, what a surprise) and is switching to fencing as well, a good way to combine styles and sweep with her enemies. Oh, with all that training she could search for the Joker and Batman would have nothing to say, especially with the magic, yes, yes.

She has also been learning French, Chinese and German (also Latin and a language she doesn't know where he got it from, but it doesn't sound like anything she knows).

Marie has barely had time to think about Jason or Tim, but she spends a moment before bed, hoping that her brother will rest in peace and that Tim won't get into trouble (she really has the feeling that the opposite is happening, but okay).

And now Fu wants to send her to school, to her, a dangerous girl with a group of defenseless kids. Very well, she knows that Master Fu is not perfect, it shows that he learned everything self-taught and falling into very deep mud pits, so she doesn't judge him, but she would like him to wait for his developing magical abilities to stabilize. (She says it specifically for the occasion when she accessed Kaalki's powers and ended up on top of the Empire State, oh, the police were very excited to know how she got there.)

This is how she got to this moment.

Françoise Dupont, great school.

She has a bad feeling.

And surprise, surprise. It's fulfilled when she first arrives in the classroom and a conceited blonde throws a grape juice on her pastel pink shirt. Marie resists the urge to move her to the top of the Burj Khalifa and smiles as kindly as she can, if she's going to be a heroine she must create a civilian personality that separates her personality with the mask and her real personality (just see Bruce Wayne, she's sure that the man is not half of what the media say about him).

"Oh, look, a poor insect. I'd apologize, but it's just the welcome you deserved. "

"Yeah, whatever, I have better things to waste my time on." She ignores the blonde, she won't mess with her. The guys who were already sitting look at her with their mouths open, good that there are no flies. Probably because she said it with a sweet smile.

She sits in the back, where she has a complete view of all the students so she can analyze them all.

From that day on, her routine changes a little. After school she has gymnastics, then she has fencing and she ends her day ending with learning necromancy (now, why?). Fu seems in a hurry to make her a magician and, above all, a powerful one if her alchemy teacher is right. Still, Marie knows that her best teachers are the Kwami, who seem excited to see her advance her learning.

Tikki and Plagg teach her about universal balance, divinity, and their intimate concepts, although she still doesn't fully understand them. The Kwami encourage her by saying that when the time comes, she will understand.

"Marie, come with me."

She follows Fu to the room where she keeps the box and opens it.

"You told me you would need more than one ally, in case the situation requires it. Today, you can choose the wonders who, when needed, should be in circulation. "

"And the users?"

"Your first test is to choose your companions."

Marie nods, this is just the beginning of her journey.

-----

So what do you thing?

[ricekilla]

u.s. hip hop artists must learn from bad bunny

There’s a nobility to watching someone speak a second language in public—especially on live TV, as Bad Bunny did in his performance on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. It is that cringe-inducing reality of imperfection; of the accent, the mispronunciations, the stuttering, that can leave a human so vulnerable. You’re watching a young man who knows his grip on The World’s Most Important Language is far from perfect. But rather than quietly accept this and avoid speaking it altogether, rather than resting on his native tongue and his many native successes, in a moment of exposure wherein most young artists would understandably reserve their vulnerabilities to avoid ire, Bunny decides to go for it. He speaks English, and it’s not perfect; but it is powerful. In his first televised American performance, El Conejo Malo spoke on the natural disaster that ravaged his home of Puerto Rico, including a barb at Donald Trump, all in accented English.

Yes, everyone’s got a Trump take, and most of them are Trump Bad. And yes, we need more than just cute speeches, verses, and social media posts. We need real activism; the activism that can actually send an impoverished child to school and help a sick mother pay for her health care. We should expect that Bunny put his money where his mouth is and work to fight against white supremacist leaders like Donald Trump as well as continue to repair the damage caused by Hurricane Maria. But there’s something special about Bad Bunny’s words in particular; unlike your safe American (and Latinx) stars, he’s not necessarily supposed to be speaking out. He could easily just be Lil Pump Puerto Rico for some years before his stature expands to the point of political expectations. He could easily just be the ignorant Latino rapper, or the ignorant Latino star, and not be expected to empower the world his art illuminates.

There is an ignorance associated with Latinx rappers in comparison to their influential American counterparts. The mainstream American musical lexicon only knows Daddy Yankee and Don Omar; Calle 13 is not even a footnote for your average hip hop fan. People are just beginning to take Latin “urbano” seriously as being led by artists that do more than make bops for your friends to slur-sing at high school dances. Bad Bunny sat with Colombian reggaeton king J. Balvin for an interview with Complex magazine, in which they announced a potentially seismic collaborative album. The two discussed and affirmed their place as trendsetters shirking norms; Balvin describes Bunny’s nails as a “very beautiful thing”. He tells Complex in Spanish that the message of expressions such as these is to “Be yourself. …If they say, he’s crazy, or he’s gay or whatever, who cares? If he’s gay, then he’s gay! When they see that, they say ‘Okay, if Bad Bunny isn’t gay, but he feels comfortable with what he’s doing, why won’t I come out of the closet and say it’s okay?’”

And in this moment wherein the ostensible Drake of Latin hip hop is encouraging defiance towards gender norms, I have a realization: somehow, the artists that do not even perform in English are the ones whose words should be most important to us in American hip hop right now.

How many American artists put themselves in a position to be vulnerable or ill-equipped for the sake of trying to say the right thing? It’s easier for G-Eazy to drop Donald Trump diss verses; he’s rich, established, and white, and he’s got little to lose. It’s easier for a rapper like Logic to plead for everyone to get along. It’s easy for Soundcloud rappers to dye their hair, rock their satchels, and tat their faces; how many of them are going to tell you about what social standards made those features shocking in the first place? How many of them are going to speak out against traditionalist aesthetics that they’re breaking? How many of them have something important to say?

We should, of course, be careful to exalt El Conejo Malo as some sort of feminist hip hop icon. Though he’s shown remarkable qualities as a public figure, he’s still a work in progress like the rest of us; often his music is charged by hints of debaucherous misogyny that is understood as the genre standard. It’s nothing particularly out of the ordinary, but that doesn’t make it ideal. And in this moment of hypertense political stances and, of course, Cancel Culture, seeing Twitterers post quips like “we stan an artist that is against toxic masculinity and gender norms 💅🏽” causes me to cringe; it feels like we’re setting ourselves up to be let down whenever Bunny makes a mistake.

Bad Bunny has not been cancelled yet, but he has been tested. His encounter with a salon that refused to paint his famous nails caught some flack from commenters. Many were angered by his reaction, in which he told doubters of his sexuality to “bring their women to his house” to watch them “have his babies”. In response to this, he clarified his sentiments in a classically defiant way (as translated by Remezcla: “’I was saying that I’d have sex with their wives, get them pregnant (which is wrong) and the men would raise my kids,’ he wrote, adding, ‘It was only a nice and exaggerated way of saying, no, I’m not gay and I love women. That’s all.’”) Eventually, the Latin trap star deleted his Twitter account.

Like the Fallon performance, this was an instance of Bunny using his words even at a point of potential vulnerability. He started by doing a typically millennial thing in calling out a salon for being decidedly unwoke and refusing him nail service because he was a man. He affirmed his gender expression as a straight man painting his nails because he wants to, understanding that there’s nothing wrong with that. Yet, in trying to say the right things, he said some wrong ones. There’s an obvious tint of misogyny in the “I’m gonna fuck your girlfriend” approach, particularly in this case, even if it is so hip hop and so inane that your average person would hardly bat an eyelash to it. Regardless, it was a failure on his part; he was a bad Bad Bunny, and it’s important that we acknowledge that.

It’s not to say that we should totally overlook the misogyny in Bunny’s lyrics or any other rap artists’, which both result from and contribute to a society that sidelines women as objects of desire, existing as complements to a man’s journey. I just want to write some nice words in Bad Bunny’s obituary before a Twitter storm eventually comes and gets him. He’s made mistakes and he’ll make more; unfortunate word choices and collaboration choices will get to any rapper’s resume in this toxic landscape. But what Bunny has decided to do so early in his career is remarkable for the fact that he is being abnormally, bravely thoughtful for someone in his position; someone who is young and misunderstood.

He is misunderstood because of the way he rebels against gender norms. He is misunderstood because his music isn’t in the right language; he’ll always be a Spanish rapper and not simply a rapper to the average hip hop head. He is misunderstood because of his drawl, his sluggishly opened vowels both as an intended stylization and as a natural result of his speaking voice and accent. He is also misunderstood as a young Latino from an island ravaged by natural disaster and poverty; overlooked by world powers, mocked by their cultures. He is misunderstood within that Latin American culture that physically and emotionally beat down young men who express themselves in “feminized” ways. If we know anything about mumble rap, or even music in general, it’s that the misunderstood artists have the most to add to the conversation.

Some of our misunderstood artists beg to be misunderstood. Kanye West went on NBC’s Saturday Night Live in a MAGA hat, highlighting a Yandhi press tour which we may otherwise know as Crazy Kanye 2: Electric Boogaloo. What’s most insulting about his whitewashed whimpering is that it’s become boring. We already know that none of us will completely understand his actions; he and his stans will equivocate that with us not being able to criticize him, which, no. The ignorance of his political speech is staggering, almost purposefully so. Rather than work to validate his perspective through an informed compassion, he manufactures a plastic one to hide behind when critiqued by the likes of known Chomskyites like Lana Del Rey. It’s a circus sideshow that only exists to benefit TV executives, Kanye West, and to some degree, Lord Voldemort himself.

Let’s compare that to another performance on a marquee NBC program. In his television debut on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Bad Bunny gave a speech to the opening chords of his trap banger “Estamos Bien”. In his gravelly Borinqueño drawl, he preached with efficiency: “After one year of the hurricane there’s still people without electricity in their home. More than 3,000 people died, and Trump is still in denial, but you know what? Estamos bien!”

Rather than simply make fun songs and letting the rest of us intellectualize his place in this crazy world, Bunny is telling us what he’s fighting for. Rather than benefit himself through latching to causes, Bunny is benefiting causes through testing himself. And although his message is still a bit surface level and his songs sport the occasional (frequent) shallow lyric, his choice is important. He is putting words to his rebellion; substance to his style. Rather than settle for iconicism like young American rap stars, or navel-gaze with conjecture like some of our living (dying) legends, Bad Bunny is fighting for goodness that should be much simpler to see than it seems to be.

[mediocreronpas]

SDR2 Boys with a lonely S/O

I can kind of relate to this every time I enter a different grade. Anyway I hope you enjoy.

- Mod Teruteru

Hajime Hinata

- He had only met you a few times before.

- The first two or three times he saw you, he kind of just ignored you.

- Then four or five the other times, he noticed that you never talked to anyone.

- After he had finally tried talking to you, he realized it.

- “Excuse me?”

- You didn’t turn around.

- “Um, hello? Excuse me?”

- When you turned you looked sad.

- “I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person. Don’t worry, it happens all the time.”

- He thought you looked lonely all by yourself.

- “No, I want to talk to you.”

- Your eyes widened a bit.

- “Really?”

- When Hajime nodded, you tried your best not to explode.

- You never insisted on hanging out, so Hajime always did it when you both had free time.

- Eventually, those times when you shared books together, he would purposely put his hand over yours.

- Or when you got close to him to show him a funny video you found, he could feel his face getting hot.

- Those moments were the ones where he had realized.

- He had developed feelings for you.

Nagito Komaeda

- He noticed you when you walked the halls or sat in classrooms by yourself.

- You didn’t talk to people and you read by yourself.

- So he wanted to see what was wrong.

- He caught you by surprize in the library, but you still kept quiet, because it’s a library.

- “Hello, my name's Nagito Komaeda.”

- You looked to your sides, then gave Komaeda a weird look.

- “Are you sure you want to talk to me? The only time I talked to a student in school was because they received a dare to do so.”

- When he confirmed that he wanted to talk to you, you kept yourself quite closed.

- It took a lot of time and patience for him to help you open yourself up to others.

- It was nice as well.

- You never walked home alone, your opinion on some of your favorite books mattered, someone actually cared about the things you did.

- Spending all this time with you made Nagito feel things.

- Weird things.

- Now he wants to do stuff like hold your hand or kiss your forehead.

- Just the thought of you makes him all warm and fuzzy inside.

- … Is this what having a crush feels like?

- It's kind of nice.

Teruteru Hanamura

- He's met you times before, and has definitely tried talking to you.

- When you ignored him, he was used to it at that point and didn't care.

- The first time he really insisted on talking to you was when you walked into the school cafeteria once.

- The whole place was empty so he decided to take your order and make you something.

- He was about to walk out the kitchen door when he stopped and saw you doing something weird.

- You had taken a thermis out of your bag and opened it to see if the water inside was still hot.

- Then you took a cup of instant noodles out of your bag and started preparing it.

- OH HELL NO NOT IN HIS KITCHEN.

- He literally ran up to your table and slapped that shit onto the floor.

- You held your un separated chopsticks close to your chest as you took five whole seconds to register what just happened.

- Then Teruteru informed you that he would make you a bowl of ramen ten times better than that.

- If you knew how to interact with humans, you would have left already. But you reluctantly said yes.

- He led you to the kitchen and you watched with utter confusion as Teruteru prepared some generally great looking noodles.

- When you took your first bite, you went starry eyed and continued to shovel the food into your mouth.

- After that Teruteru continued to just generally be around you after that.

- He made sure that you were never alone while you two were at school.

- With all this time together, stuff started forming.

- Like feelings and stuff.

- Teruteru could recognized it immediately.

- He had a crush on you.

Kazuichi Souda

-  He only saw you while in the hallways.

- He already found you cute.

- You were quiet, reserved, and by the looks of it flustered easily.

- It was just that he never got the chance to talk to you.

- He would either spot you in a crowded hall, then you would disappear, or you would straight up run from him.

- W...was it the teeth?

- The first time he talked to you was when he caught you lost in the hallways.

- But you were the one that talked to him.

- “Um, e-excuse me. I'm looking for classroom 77? There are a few students there that need to take their evaluation test.”

- His face lit up when he turned and saw you.

- Your cheeks turned pink at the sight of his adorable smile.

- You introduced yourself with a reluctant smile and let Souda lead the way to your assigned destination.

- He became a kind of guide after that.

- By that I mean he would follow you around to you next class whenever he had the time because you were at that school the same time he was, you didn't need a guide.

- But none the less you enjoyed it.

- After awhile, Souda started noticing things about you that he didn't before.

- How cute you looked when you were asleep, how flushed he would get on the occasion you grabbed his arm from fear…(how much he wanted to see you in a swimsuit…)

- Based on past experiences, he knew exactly what this was.

- He had a crush.

- And he was proud about it.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

- What did the Ultimate Yakuza think of someone the likes of you?

- He thought you were godd*mn f*cking adorable.

- But no one can know that.

- Besides, if a rival yakuza clan found out that he even remotely likes someone, they'd be on top of their every move like that.

- He thought it was kind of weird though.

- How you would walk the halls all by yourself.

- You never talked to anyone unless you had to.

- He once sent Peko to see what was up.

- But she came back earlier than expected, saying that you could somehow sense her presence and began looking for her.

- So he decided he would check it out himself.

- “Hey, you.”

- A shiver went up your spine and you whipped around with two or three books in your arms.

- “Y-yes? Is something wrong?”

- Oh geez you were jittery.

- “No nothing's wrong, I just wanted to talk.”

- You cocked your head and showed obvious confusion on your face.

- “No one's ever talked to someone like me… what do you want?”

- “To talk. Here I'll help you with your books.”

- It took him awhile to get you to open up. You were comfortable with the wall you put up to hide from others.

- But when you did, you were really cute. You smiled a lot, your laugh was adorable, and he found himself really wanting to hold your hand and ki-

- Wait.

- What?

- ...

- Sh*t.

- He had a crush.

Ultimate Imposter

- He had began studying you for a new disguise.

- Your reserved stance and the fact that no one talked to you was perfect for when he didn't want to be noticed.

- But damn you were hard to keep an eye on.

- You could easily blend into a crowd when you wanted to.

- And when you were by yourself your senses got heightened tenfold.

- You made sure you always knew who was around you.

- Once when he thought he was doing pretty well, you turned and stared into space.

- “Okay, whoever's following me can come out now.”

- Absolutely no way he's coming out after that.

- Then you started searching.

- The first place you looked just happened to be his hiding place.

- “Could you please tell me why you've been following me for the past week?”

- He made sure to dress as the Ultimate Bird watcher.

- “I only saw a rare bird hanging around here every once and awhile. I want to catch a picture of it.”

- Your expression grew frustrated.

- “There is no way Name could have gained fifty pounds in the last week. I may not talk to people but I know what they look like.”

- Oh okay.

- Though you were angry at him, you let him 'study’ you more after he thoroughly explained himself.

- But your nature in general didn't just intrigue him.

- He caught himself blushing when he thought about you.

- And thinking things like cuddling with you and holding hands.

- He thinks he has a crush?

- Yeah that's probably what this is.

Nekomaru Nidai

- You always made absolute sure that Nidai was a good distance away from you at all times.

- He freaking scares you.

- You didn't do any sports anyway, so he always just minded his own business.

- It was just once that he had to talk to you.

- He was a bit intense in getting your attention.

- “EXCUSE ME.”

- You fell over, with all your books suddenly scattered on the ground.

- When he approached he towered over you. You stood up and tried to keep your balance in front of him.

- “Y-yes? Can I-I help you?”

- “A weak voice like that isn't going to get you anywhere.”

- What is he talking about?

- “NOW PUT SPIRIT INTO YOUR WORDS AND SAY THEM LIKE YOU MEAN IT!”

- You fell over again, this time picking up a heavy textbook and putting it in front of your face.

- “I’m sorry! I'm sorry! M-my voice isn't that loud to begin with…”

- Nidai realized how much this is probably scaring you and let the introduction slide.

- But he made a promise to help you gain more confidence for yourself.

- Your confidence wasn't the problem but okay.

- A few days into your training and you already learned to make your natural voice louder.

- “NOW SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!”

- “I-I'M F/N L/N! IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU!!”

- Then Nidai would start laughing.

- “Nice job L/N. Much better than last time.”

- He likes to be blunt with himself about his feelings.

- And he definitely had feelings for you.

Gundam Tanaka

- He didn't notice you at all at first, just like everyone else.

- It was his Devas that first recognised your 'hidden dark powers.’

- Gundam was preparing another ritual, when Cham-P suddenly ran off, followed by Maga-G, Jum-P then Sun-D.

- He, obviously, followed them.

- “What is it my beautiful Dark Devas of Destruction? Have you found our new source of dark energy?”

- When they ran up to a girl/boy reading a thick book, he was rather surprised at them.

- Why would the Devas run from their ritual posts just to find a normal human?

- You looked to your left and saw four fuzzy hamsters by your side.

- You laughed and began petting the chubby orange one happily.

- Oh, that's why.

- When you looked up at him, your smile disappeared.

- “Oh, sorry. I should have known these guys would belong to someone.”

- You marked your place in your book and stood up to leave.

- But Gundam stopped you.

- “My Devas don't run off to meet with any old human. You must be some kind of dark energy I have yet to tap into.”

- What.

- Despite the weird introduction, Gundam had become your only friend in this school.

- You spent most of your time with him, and that time would be spent taking care of animal.

- …

- I mean come on.

- You love animals, the Devas loved you.

- How could he not have a crush on you.

[baileysayswhat]

Well, it’s been a year. Truly. I haven’t blogged in a year! Not since my EPIK return to Korea (wink at y’all English teachers over there) for MinShik & Ara’s wedding.

And here those same people are celebrating their one year anniversary by having their first baby ON THAT DAY. That’s some Gattaca-level skill, I tell ya.

Lots has changed. LAWD. Yes. Grab yourself a low-carb snack because y’all about to get the deets.

Jobs

Two promotions at Grubhub and a sabbatical-turned-bowing-out at Titan Gym ALL IN THIS PAST ONE YEAR.

In January I became a Senior Sales Executive with Grubhub; it was a huge, out-of-the-blue honor and when I asked ‘what’s different than my current job?” my boss replied “Its what you’re already doing with the team, I’m just going to pay you for it.” How cool is that?!

Actual photo of said boss:

Seriously one of my favorite things in my career was in our first ever one on one development meeting last year (right *after* the Korea trip) the first thing I said was “I want you to know I’m in grad school for training and development and that’s what I want to do long term.”

His reply? “OK, let me hook you up with the right person who’s heading up training.” Literally the next week she got me in a classroom training new hires in a session 1x every 2 weeks. MONEY/MOUTH AND ALL THAT. When does that happen?!

And this past April when a new role opened up to become a sales trainer for new hires he recommended and she championed me for the role, which started May 1.

Y’all. I have never felt the Conan mantra of “If you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen” more. I joined Grubhub just to get a sales paycheck and have a regular schedule to pursue my passions and here this place that I thought would be a job I wasn’t going to put my heart into has given me such gifts. Managers that believe in me and CREATE JOBS that I wasn’t even aware of. I’m very blessed.

Now I’m the “Learning Solutions Associate” (ie. Non-Corporate Sales & Account Advisor Trainer) for all employees in those departments for Grubhub Inc. Nationwide. I’ve trained over 75 people in the last 5.5 months. That is bananas to me and I’m so grateful. All that in a year and a half at this company.

Because of that role shift and wrapping up grad school I knew that my time at Titan Gym was coming to a close. I have loved and sweated and bled and cried in that place – sometimes all at once – and I leave with so many good memories and relationships. I felt like I couldn’t be both throwing my heart (and fists) into learning & teaching Krav while also trying to originate a role at Grubhub.

So with a final rooftop drinking session and countless hugs I left (by choice) no longer an instructor at Titan Gym. I’m still a certified Krav Maga Level 1 Instructor through KMA and I know if I’m ever interested in getting back into it that Daniela and Ivo have my back. And if you need a place to kick ass, feel stronger or find mental toughness I will recommend Titan Gym to the moon and back again and again and again.

WHEW.

2. School

Yes, I finished my grad program at University of Wisconsin – Stout and now have my graduate certificate in Instructional Design. I need to frame that fancy piece of paper sometime soon.

3. Comedy

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE LAUGH SQUAD?! Oh man y’all. So last October in the week after I got back from Korea I auditioned for a ComedySportz House Team and was cast into the most perfect circle of weirdos by two insanely talented coaches who happened to have the exact same initials – HMS. So naturally our team name became “Pinafore” after the famous Gilbert & Sullivan comic opera ‘HMS Pinafore.’ I have still never to this day heard any music from it although I did briefly glance through the Wikipedia page.

No, I didn’t realize we were all serving fierce face. Or at least my genre of fierce face. Our team just had our final show on 10/6 and it has been a journey. I feel like I’ve grown with such a great team with depth and tears and joy. I have peed myself a little laughing so hard, which I can admit now that the team is done. I mean, I could have admitted it before but why BOTHER.

Truly I have loved the CSZ House Program; auditions for the next round are in November and I’m excited to see what the next group of people I get to fall in love with looks like!

Other things I’ve been blessed to yuk it up on/with: I got cast into a RIFF Music Improv camp which has had me perform 3x with a stone-cold group of short-form music improvisers that HAVE PIPES, y’all. Some of these people I’ve watched perform for years in music improv and it’s an honor to strap on a Britney mic and make up songs for an audience with them.

I’ve also done 2 seasons of MINt (Music Improv Night) at the Annoyance; such an open space to trying weird and beautiful things with music improv and our voices. If you’re looking for a community to fall in love with, the MINt crew is a good one. 4 teams every 4 months and you get such a wide range of experience, skills and strange, hilarious songs.

There’s been a few one-offs performing with friends’ groups and even a couple shows with some MI people I met in iO’s Music Program as an indie group named “AirBRB.”

I’m moving into a season when I’m not sure when my next show is; it’ll be light this next month, which is kind of a fun thing. I’ll miss it. But I think it’s healthy to have a breather and come back hungry, whenever the next show is. And you never know when someone might text you at 4pm about a show that night at 1030pm and you gotta be ready to make believe with the best!

4. Health

OOOOOHHHH fun. Let’s talk about it! Since last year when I got my Krav Maga instructor cert in July (shoutout to the 3am Protein Squad) I’ve let things slip a bit. And why not?! When you survive that kind of thing you deserve to let yourself chill. But…I didn’t really reign it in. I was doing ok; maintaining some cardio but I knew things needed to step up. I was getting a little burned out on Krav. Here’s my 7am face on the way to teach class:

I let myself write excuses and they added up. Once I was done punching/kicking regularly I did CrossFit for a few months – it was great and ya girl loves heavy weights – but the price was really high. Especially when I could be going out of town to our Phoenix office for work up to once a month, missing a week at a time. It was an expensive habit.

So I jumped back into going to LSAC (Lincoln Square Athletic Club) regularly – it’s been 3 weeks in and I’m kind of loving my schedule:

Mondays – Pole Class at Brass Ring (I KNOW) and it’s so fun. Such an empowering environment and an hour flies by. Its slow but I see progress! And thigh bruises.

Tuesdays – Workout at LSAC (trying to follow the schedule Brian (see Fridays) gave me the week before)

Wednesdays – Volleyball with friends at LPHS – y’all we had a double header last week and I burned 1,448 calories in 1 hour and 55 mins. WE WORKIN’.

Thursdays – Improv Day (aka rest and do some make believe in comedy class)

Fridays – Personal Training with Brian at LSAC

Saturdays – Yoga (at home right now using an Apple TV app but maybe at LSAC in the future)

Sundays – Intro to Olympic Weightlifting with Keith at LSAC (today was the first one; I did a 65lb bar snatch from shins to above my head! 9 times! Y’ALL! SHE BACK!)

Also I started attempting/doing a Keto & intermittent fasting on 10/1; it’s been a little rough but we’re getting into the groove of it. That first week, candidly, sucked. The low carb/Keto flu thing is for real. But now I’m used to it; the 12-8 fasting part is honestly not that hard now. Very manageable. It’s more the carb counting thing of keto that is taking slow (but progressive) shape.

5. The Rest

a. Photography

I know everyone has a camera in their smartphone – I’m doing some photography learning – I bought myself a Canon T6i DSLR last year RIGHT BEFORE starting grad school so I hid it in the closet from myself until school was done in May. I’ve taken some pictures I’m proud of and I’m working my way through a couple Lynda.com (grad school got me a free account) photography courses to learn the camera. I’m a student of it right now for sure but here’s a few photos I’m proud of:

b. Norway

I found out last year that I’m 1/8 Norweigan; that doesn’t sound like ‘a lot’ but honestly I’ve never really thought about it. I generally classify my heritage as ‘SPF 75’ but have always known our family is generally German with some crossover to other classically pale squads (Irish, probably English, other various tribes of roving wild-haired people on/around Hadrian’s wall, etc).

Last year in October someone posted in this Women of Chicago Comedy Facebook group I’m in about a Norwegian TV show that 1. Flies you to Norway and 2. You good-naturedly compete with other Norwegian-Americans to win $50,000. SO I APPLIED OF COURSE and got to ask my mom and grandparents questions over iMessage about my heritage. Apparently one of my great-grandmas was first-generation American, born in the US. Her parents both emigrated from Norway in the early 1900s to Washington State, near Ballard. So…if one of the 8 people that made me is full-blooded Norwegian…then by the power of Punnett Squares or whatever that means I’m 1/8 Norwegian, right?

ANYWAYS I did not get cast but I just realized they’re auditioning again so I’m going to throw ye olde application back in there. 1. Because it sounds fun and 2. Norway is GORGEOUS and 3. I did promise Neal Carlin that I would apply again. He’s gone in Italy doing an insanely cool apprenticeship so the least I can do is fill out info about my LIFE.

Our family doesn’t really do any celebrations of heritage. My great-grandma Harriman (she of the Norwegian blood) made lefse for Christmas, but I never really understood the connection as a kid. She passed when I was in high school and none of us kids ever learned to make it with her. Also, keep your traps shut but my real goal if I get on this show is to learn to make Fattigman cookies and then make them with my Nana for Christmas. KEEP MY SECRETS, INTERNET.

I think there’s a real beauty in appreciating where you came from and knowing you are a part of a legacy of choices – good ones, bad ones, ones that had to be made one way or another – and then choosing how you want your part of the story to be written. Sitting under the Northern lights and walking on glaciers would be a pretty jaw-dropping moment in life; 10/10 I’d be crying frozen little tears of joy. So we’ll see! I’m applying!

c. Travel

I’m going to DC in less than 2 weeks – I’ve never been to DC AND I haven’t seen David Brown in 4+ years in person. That’s bananas to me. I genuinely cannot believe that there’s not some time/space blanket fold that I jumped through because it CAN’T have been four years.

But the internet says it has. So myself, Bekah, Adam & Dana (plus maybe their dog Millie) are all meeting up with David in DC October 25-27 and I could SQUEAL I am so excited.

I went to Ohio in March just to see my loves Xander and Trace and get drag-ified myself. I learned that clip on earrings are the reason beauty = pain and that stick on nails are NOT for me. But I looked great.

d. Experiences

I saw my first Broadway shows in the past year – I don’t know what took me so long! I saw Hello Dolly, Book of Mormon, Hamilton. Les Mis, Falsettos – I WANT TO SING EVERYTHING.

I went to the Shedd Aquarium on Thanksgiving – it was BEAUTIFUL and uncrowded and my ticket was free – cue v v thankful.

I saw Conan O’Brien’s show in Chicago and met Aaron Bleyart, who’s blog(s) I have followed for over TEN YEARS.

Passed my Krav Level 3 student test and Muay Thai Level 2!

Survived the Polar Vortex in Chicago when it was over -20 degrees below zero. This is the *inside* of my windows.

My parents came to Chicago for Father’s Day! The umbrella is my Mom hiding from the camera as all 3 of us eat Chicago Dogs outside the Field Museum. Also, I went to the Field Museum.

I went to Arizona 3 times – February, May & August – for work and to visit family. What a cool, weird mix of colors. I saw the Grand Canyon and cried a little behind my sunglasses as my family pretended to not notice.

I saw a Seattle-based artist, SYML, who’s work I love not once but TWICE. Also saw Dean Lewis at the same concert and fell in love w his new album.

Saw a bajillion improv shows, learned which lipsticks look good on my skin tone and saw so many people I love.

What. A. Year.

  More updates, more often, from this face:

A Blog I Pay For and Rarely Update: UPDATED! Well, it's been a year. Truly. I haven't blogged in a year! Not since my EPIK return to Korea (wink at y'all English teachers over there) for MinShik & Ara's wedding.

[tessatechaitea]

New Super-man #5

MAGA!

Don't worry! Global warming from air pollution isn't a problem! Everything will be okay when seeing a blue sky is a rare occurrence. This was the sky every day in Eastern China and Hong Kong. And this was from 1997.

The comic book shows The Bund at night where you can see stars. When they erupt out of their submarine to discuss books with the people, The People's Book Club of Ultimate Freedom even comment on how "mesmerizing" the stars are. Ha! As if. The People's Book Club of Ultimate Freedom have stolen Starro from the Ministry of Self-Reliance (I know, I know. So ironic that they'd have Starro!) and they're planning on using it against the communist regime who won't let them read The Cave of Time in its original English. All they get is the Chinese Translation with the Government Approved Endings! Kenan has just walked in on his father wearing his Flying Dragon Father costume and now he has questions up the proverbial wazoo. Is the wazoo actually proverbial? Do things have to have been mentioned in The Book of Proverbs to be proverbial? What is a proverb anyway? Like a combination verb and pronoun? Flying Dragon Father tells his origin story to his son because he wants Kenan to fight for the correct side. The correct side is obviously the one against China's governmental interests. Those fucking Communists are evil. Not because they're Communists, of course. Capitalists are fucking evil too! The common factor there is the part where the people who come to power by whatever means one comes to power in whatever economic or political system exists in the country they were raised tend to be ambitious, selfish, greedy assholes. The kind of people who would rule well don't crave the kinds of power, status, and money that comes with ruling. So they never wind up in power. Go figure, right?! Flying Dragon Father met Kenan's mother in the early college incarnation of The People's Book Club of Ultimate Freedom. They have their Harry Met Sally relationship that eventually leads to Kenan.

I wish she'd become the Leather Liberty Goddess.

Flying Dragon Father reveals the big shock twist: the Ministry of Self-Reliance killed Kenan's mother! Okay, so it wasn't as shocking as you might have thought by my calling it a big shock twist and using an exclamation point. But if you're familiar with my blog then you know exclamation points mean nothing! It's like I'm a rich kid just burning money if money were exclamation points and they made people wealthy. Now Kenan has a decision to make. Does he continue to fight for the Ministry of Self-Reliance or become a mole for the People's Book Club of Ultimate Freedom? Or does he go his own way and forge his own path which will probably lead to Laney Lan's bedroom and some kinky ass roleplay. Kenan chooses to go off with his father to help the People's Book Club of Ultimate Freedom. Bat-man and Wonder-Woman also head to The Bund to try to stop the Book Club. Also joining the fray? The Great Ten! You might remember one of them, August General in Iron. If you remember any of the other nine, you get a cookie. But not my cookie.

Even Book Clubs of Ultimate Freedom have to deal with power-mad narcissists who insist on ruining everything by thinking the end justifies the means.

Uncle Human Firecracker actually says, "Whatever it takes for the greater good." See? Total dickmonster. Mmm, dickmonster. Both Kenan and Flying Dragon Father aren't too happy about Uncle Human Firecracker's methods and decide it might be time to stop him. Isn't this always the way with book clubs? They always fall apart due to infighting.

I just realized why I like Kenan so much. He's a total Huck Finn.

I like to assume that I can say something like "he's a total Huck Finn" and people will completely understand what I mean. While I believe the literary canon really needs to be expanded to include more voices of non-white males, I still think it's usefulness in writing shorthand to others is beyond compare. The literary canon should never shrink, it should just grow bigger and bigger. Sure it's more work for those who want to understand everything anybody ever writes. But fuck is it useful. I'm not religious but you'd better believe I've read The Bible because without that foundation, you're not fully accessing a majority of Western Literature. If the Ultimate Literary Canon of Freedom is expanded enough, people will be expected to also know The Koran and the Bhagavad Gita and, um, the other ones that are probably important to people who didn't grow up with a white, Western education. Uncle Human Firecracker somehow does something to remove Kenan's powers. He probably had some of those miniature red suns in his glove. Kenan almost drowns but Flying Dragon Father rescues him and takes him to the Ministry of Self-Reliance to be healed. So people's loyalties are becoming a bit fuzzy due to other loyalties. Meanwhile, Uncle Human Firecracker shoves a bunch of Starro-captured motherfuckers onto a plane. He's going to fly it into Beijing and the seat of Communist power so that he can mind-control them all into becoming a democracy. Sounds about right. But! On the plane is Lixin, the fat kid whose lunch money Kenan used to steal! He's not supposed to be there but his parents own the airline and he's trying to make a Youtube video or something in the cockpit. I guess he's going to have to be the hero on the hijacked plane! Always bet on fat! Super-man doesn't get his powers back even with a blast of yellow sun radiation. It looks like he lost his powers when he felt his dad was disappointed in him. So his powers fluctuate based on his esteem? That's actually a good thing for Kenan! Mostly, he's as cocky and arrogant as I am.

Heh heh. Compliance devices.

Super-man and Flying Dragon Father rush off to stop the plane. I guess Kenan's powers will come back now that he knows his father is proud of him. I hope Lixin becomes his pal! Does Lixin mean "Jimmy Olsen" in Chinese? What Did We Learn? Being confident is where real power comes from! You know that's true because it's what all the Men's Rights Advocates say! I think they're basic rule is to be confident even when you know you're a disgusting piece of shit that no woman in their right mind would ever touch. The worst part about this advice is that it's right. Being confident is attractive! The problem is faking confidence simply to get laid. If you need to get laid and you want confidence, pay a sex worker (preferably in someplace where it's legal because it should all be legal and by participating in places where it isn't legal, you're just encouraging illegal sex work which endangers women). They'll tell you how big your cock is and how good you are at the penetrations! Even if you blow your load too early, they won't act disappointed and upset and become bitter and resentful that you're not seeing to their needs. Although thinking you're good at sex when you're not might be harmful to your relationships in the long run. But at least getting laid might keep you from going on the Internet and getting involved with these MRA jerks. The Ranking! +1! This comic book is the best! Or close to the best! Don't challenge me! What I say here doesn't have to match up with what's over there on the sidebar in the Rankings. Especially if you're reading this on Blogger since I never fucking update the list on that site.