#Haikyuu hirugami

[cottonlemonade]

Beach Day

word count: 591 || avg. reading time: 2 mins.

pairing: post-time skip!Hirugami x chubby!Reader

genre: suggestive

warnings: mdni, spoilers

request: medium blue lemonade with frozen berries for Hirugami || fluffy-spicy Beach Day with boyfriend Hirugami

As much as he despised when his sister’s boyfriend became all mushy around his girlfriend, Sachiro quickly understood the sentiment when he met you. There was nothing he wouldn’t do, no depths he wouldn’t stoop to, if it meant you’d give him a smile.

The sun was scorching hot but the well loved, slightly off-center parasol he buried deep in the sand kept you in the shade. In the glistening water kids played in the shallows under the watchful eyes of their parents and surfers tried their best to catch the next wave. Sandcastles were being build, seashells collected and beach hats chased, carried away by a cheerful breeze.

“I’m so glad we’re a couple.”, he said, stretching happily on the large blanket.

“Yeah? Why is that?”, you grinned and over the rim of your sunglasses gave him a questioning look.

“Because I don’t have to feel like a creep for staring at you in that bikini.”

“Is it not too revealing?”

“On the contrary.” He leaned closer to you, setting a little kiss on the shell of your ear before saying, “If it were up to me it could be even smaller.”

You blushed and wrapped the sheer beach kimono closer to your body. He pouted and sneakily brushed back the fabric to reveal your pudgy tummy and temptingly plush thigh.

“You know, now that I think about it… it does reveal quite a lot…”, he said slowly.

You raised a brow, quite familiar with this certain tone.

“I wouldn’t want you to burn. Let me reapply some lotion, princess.”

With pursed lips you made it a point to remove the kimono slowly, sliding it off your shoulder with a little extra sass, earning you a low whistle, which sent you both into a little laughing fit.

You lay on your stomach, crossing your legs and waited with your head resting on folded arms.

“Now this is just rudely in the way.”, Sachiro noted and pulled at the string on your back.

Worried you’d be exposed if you squirmed, you stayed put and opted for a playfully shocked, “Hey!”

“Just making sure, I’m not getting anything on your new piece, babe.” With that excused he climbed on top of you, his knees on either side of waist and leaned down to set a kiss on your shoulder.

He sighed contently as he rubbed a bit of lotion onto his palms, “I love summer.” His large hands began massaging your back, having you close your eyes in bliss.

“By the way, my brother asked if he can join us for dinner next week with his wife. Is that okay with you?”, he wondered as he worked.

“Oh yeah, of course! We haven’t seen them in ages. Is his leg doing better?”

You sucked in a breath when his fingers brushed the sides of your breasts as if on accident.

“Yeah, he’ll be able to play the next match no problem. He just wants to be cautious that’s why he sat the last one out. Although I do have to say that the Adlers have been doing well without him, too. And I fully intend to tell him that when we see him.” You could hear his mischievous smirk.

He all but grabbed your perfectly soft hips under the guise of applying more lotion, squeezing and… pressing himself further against you. You had been in this exact position last night in the hotel and nothing good could come of it in public.

“What is it, baby? You got so quiet.”, he teased.

art: @_Hemoon on Twitter

a/n: he is just so… thank you @ranscutedoll for the request, I hope you enjoyed it! 🌟

[seumyo]

I LOVEEEEEEEE your ‘rating my wife’s nicknames for me’ 😭😭😭 is it alright if you do hirugami! my man needs some love!!!!

HIRUGAMI SACHIROU ✰ RATING THE PET NAMES YOU CALL HIM: A THREAD

NOTE. You’re so right, nonnie ! Our underrated king needs lots of love <33

SEUMYO © 2024, PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, PLAGIARIZE, MODIFY OR TRANSLATE.

[rinniemybeloved]

[✦] - Haikyuu!! ethnicity headcanons (part 2)

Characters: Yamaguchi, Kuroo, Oikawa, Kyōtani, Shirabu, Aran, Terushima, and Hirugami

A/N: Barely any of the characters in HQ look Japanese at all (maybe that's just an anime thing but whatever) so I decided to give them ethnicities.

-at first I was gonna say Pakistani but it didn't really fit

-so I settled for an Arabian country

-actually scrap that

-Persian

-that fits more

-his hair color is just so random that it's hard to predict where he'd be from

-apart from that, he looks pretty Japanese anyways

-he's Mexican

-one of them Juans

-he looks more Mexican than a Mexican

-his smirk also seems so Mexican

-bros a lil too Mexican

-did I forget to mention that I think he's Mexican?

-laughed just a little while thinking about this but like

-he just looks so white

-im not trying to be mean it's just—i don't rlly see anything 'cultural' in him, yk?

-there aren't rlly any specific features to him that make him seem like he isn't white

-but when I say white I mean maybe smth like Australia

-yes, I think he grew up in Australia

-just forget about the normal dub and imagine him talking in an Aussie accent instead

-in part 1 I said he was one of the characters that actually looks japanese

-well let's just forget about that bc now that I look at him he seems north african

-moroccan fits

-i'd also like to say that he's mixed bc of his skin color and face shape

-somewhere that's still close to Morocco though

-so like Algeria or Mauritania

-finnish

-a biology kid (idk what that has to do with him being Finnish)

-idc whatever y'all say but to me his hair literally screams Scandinavian

-he doesn't know how to speak Finnish that much at all

-he doesn't really care about his ethnicity in the first place

-probably grew up in one of those big happy families

-its canon that he's one of four brothers anyways

-big Cameroon vibes

-tbh I've met several people from Cameroon and they all look alike

-and Aran looks like them

-his facial features just all look Cameroonian (is that even the actual demonym? 😭)

-really random but he reminds me of Kylian Mbappé for some reason

-light skinned hispanic

-maybe just maybe Spain?

-Argentina is an option too but not rlly personality wise to me

-but he knows how to speak Spanish no doubt

-bros in class 7 he has to know another language

-i wanna say like . . . Canadian

-idk tbh

-the hair and stuff is just so off

-but even if he was Canadian he would only be half Canadian bc I feel like his mom would be from somewhere in Europe

-Switzerland is also a choice ig

So I guess I did make this a series. Maybe I'll make a masterlist for this someday. Reblogs are appreciated!!

[nekomanager]

𖦹 f!reader, just rough unprotected sex

HE HURT HIMSELF while playing volleyball again and just like the usual, you kissed his wound before keeping the medicine kit. "This hurts too," he whined and you gulped when he brought your hand over the huge bulge of his gray sweatpants, dragging it along his waistband, which you didn't hesitate to pull down. Your eyes widened as his erect cock popped upright. Your tongue reflexively moistened your lips at the delicious sight of it.

"Would you give it a kiss too?" He whispered under a sleazy grin.

"Which lips do you want?" You breathed out and you surely saw him get a tad bigger.

He ran his curled finger over your lips and you anticipated sucking it, but he pulled away.

"Is this one ready?" He asked while the tip of his fingers rubbed your pussy over your panties like he's squeezing the juice out of you. "Fuck..." He hissed, seeing how quickly he made you feel aroused. "Just the sight of my cock and you're this wet."

"P-Please..." You begged as you rolled your hips against his touch.

He groaned in return unable to hold back any longer. Positioning yourself over his lap, he set aside your panties and aligned his cock on your entrance. Without hesitations, he pushed his hips upwards, penetrating you deep.

You moaned and he grunted. He didn't bother taking it slow and he slammed with endless speed, making you wrap your arms around his strong body. "W-Wait! Wait! I can't...take it!" You pleaded but he didn't budge, instead he got both of his palms on the surface of the bed, pushing himself up and down against you and showing you who's in control. You felt your inside heating up as his dick felt like tearing you apart yet it felt so good you're about to lose your mind. Your head swung back not bearing the intensity and soon, you let go of your hold of him, your back falling in bed. He hovered you, not letting go. With such force, he rammed into you finishing himself. You convulsed, cumming hard around him at the same time.

You both caught your breaths and he placed gentle kisses on your temple. "Does this hurt?" He asked, tenderly touching your pussy. "Do I have to give it a kiss?" He whispered and you knew you couldn't stop him. Your head started spiraling when he sucked you in, bringing you back in bliss again probably for the entire night.

—♡ kuroo, bokuto, oikawa, atsumu, lev, osamu, iwaizumi, ushijima, terushima, daichi, hirugami

[lumiinix]

Whenever he went to the store, ladies will stop on their tracks and look at him with heart on their eyes, they would gossip to eachother about how there’s this handsome man who always came into this store, some even build enough courage to went up to him and strike up a conversation, only to be severely disappointed when they saw the wedding band on his ring finger. It gets awkward for them when they see him again, this time with you by his side, your husband’s hand around your waist and what’s more? A 5 year old child sitting on his shoulder. Yeah, they’re too late, he’s off the market now.

[kwadlayns]

Look, it's two of the toughest middle blockers at nationals... 💦

hc their teams have had practice matches against each other once or twice

[kitasgloves]

hq characters realizing they're stupidly in love with you

They stare endearingly while you're focused on cooking instant ramen for them because you don't know how to cook:

Yamaguchi, Daichi, Iwaizumi, Ushijima, Semi, Kita, Osamu

When they find you drooling in your sleep absolutely adorable:

Kageyama, Asahi, Kenma, Yaku, Akaashi, Konoha, Suna, Hirugami, Sakusa

They laugh so hard when you say the corniest and dumbest joke:

Yachi, Sugawara, Hanamaki, Bokuto, Tendou, Hoshiumi, Komori

They sigh lovingly when you're picking your nose while scrolling through your phone:

Hinata, Nishinoya, Oikawa, Atsumu

They make fun of you for being clumsy:

Tsukishima, Kuroo, Matsukawa, Shirabu

©kitasgloves (do not steal or copy)

[samubytheocean]

just making out with the boys.

Whatever love may be, at this moment he is in your arms. And oh, he is so pretty.

fluff, slightly suggestive if you’re in 5th grade or smth

You’re so in love. Sure, turned on, but before that, you’re so close to him. You want to be touched- a little bit closer, a little bit more directly- oh so desperately, but by only him. Everything else, even your own desires seem secondary. You want to be him. Some primal, instinctive thing you call love- hell whatever you call it- wanting all of your senses to be of him, to be in his skin, yeah. You’re in love with him.

You’re in his bed, the soft fabric smells like him. The prettiest boy in front of you, with his adorable messy hair and shirt all tugged. Revealing random patches of muscle either kissed, caressed or blushing. In the dim light, you only see the black through the feathering of his eyelashes. You can almost name each of it now. You’ve got such a tight grip on his chin, the heat when you move stays. Just like butter under hot knife, to him it feels like your touch will melt the skin, linger forever. No, he knows. He knows your grip will stay on him forever.

The sight almost makes you red. Or laugh. Or horny. Whatever it is, you brush the bruises on his skin, which at this point is yours. Yeah you did that. He is only yours. Honestly you don’t even have to look at the messy lipgloss remains on his cheeks to know that. His whole body is glowing with love for you, legs sprawled out and hands fidgeting on your outer thighs, the touch burning and downright dripping with sweat. But it’s sweet. He’s sweet. He really is. Like lemon meringue tart, or grapefruit ade, or cookie dough. Like apartment keys in a foreign city, like wine kissed rings and like two kids a dog- fuck you know you’re going insane right now. Drunk, stupid, irrational- yeah but you take the leap to name it as something else.

Love. That’s what you feel. As abstract as the concept is, at this moment you know the exact notion of it. In every sense, your heart recognizes it. As scary as saying you know something is, you don’t even care, because you feel him. He is right here, and he is loving on you. There’s no time tense attached to it. Just forever, yeah that stupid word, but yes forever, just you two forever. Verb, noun, adjective, whatever category of grammar love belongs to, fuck that because love is here. And love belongs to you.

He belongs to you.

And oh, he is so, so pretty.

AKAASHI, YAMAGUCHI, HINATA, BOKUTO, LEV, KITA, HIRUGAMI

YUUJI, YUTAAAAAA, CHOSO (dude yea choso), MEGUMI

ARMIN, and oh my, LEVI

[sachirobabe]

Haikyuu characters and arguments

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡

Pt.1 Pt.2

Characters: Iwaizumi Hajime, Hanamaki Takahiro, Suna Rintarou, Miya Osamu, Hirugami Sachiro, Kozume Kenma

Main masterlist

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡

[pararararablof]

Part 2 🏐🏐🏐

影日☀️　月山🌙　昼星✨

[cottonlemonade]

Watching The Great British Bake Off

The ones who get super invested:

Sugawara, Bokuto, Hinata, Yamaguchi, Aone, Asahi, Tendou, Kita, Kuroo, Ennoshita, Akaashi, Koganegawa, Makki, Hirugami, Kageyama, Aran, Goshiki, Inuoka, Komori

The ones who lean back and swear they could win it easily:

Osamu (he could), Atsumu (he could not), Tendou (he could, of course), Semi (no), Oikawa (mmmaybe), Mattsun (also no), Noya (honestly? Probably.)

The ones who make it a theme night with a spread of tea, cakes and cookies:

Sugawara, Bokuto, Asahi, Tendou, Yamaguchi, Aran, Noya, Inuoka, Komori

The ones who pretend not to be invested and stare at their phone but have not scrolled or tapped anything for over an hour because they’re glancing at the TV:

Kenma.

Futakuchi, Iwaizumi, Tsukishima, Hoshiumi, Sakusa, Suna, Shirabu

The ones who actually don’t care about it that much but appreciate an opportunity to cuddle with their soft and squishy partner:

Daichi, Ushijima, Konoha

The ones who yell at the TV like they’re on the sidelines of a volleyball match:

Yaku, Bokuto, Hinata, Atsumu

The ones who fake a British accent for the rest of the week:

Atsumu, Hoshiumi, Hinata, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tendou, Noya, Inuoka, Mattsun

The ones who have a betting pool going with their friends about who makes it to next round:

Kuroo, Tendou, Yaku, Mattsun, Makki, Noya

art: Black Butler

a/n: something silly I really wanted to get off my mind 😅

[yoomiomiki]

Just thinking about him coincidentally fucking you when it’s raining heavily . Him realising he can’t hear you clearly and fucks you even harder , bullying his cock in your pussy and hitting your sweet spot with every thrust. His hand snaking down to your puffy clit and fiddling with it . Pulling moans , whimpers and screams louder than the rain pitter pattering on the window

sakusa , SUNARINNN, miya twins , meian, HIRUGAMI , bokuto , hinata, komori , tsukishima

A/n : it is indeed raining here 😭 CANT WAIT TO HAVE A HOT SHOWER EHHEHEHE

[myykster]

moreeee haikyu!!

[haikyu-mp4]

The art of flirting

word count; 1583 – f!reader

Everyone else on Kamomedai’s volleyball team would probably say that their second-year manager’s relationship with Hoshiumi Korai was very flirty. However, you and Korai saw it more as a rivalry. You would always be bickering back and forth, throwing insults and annoying comments at each other like it was breathing. Being a manager was truly rewarding, but you and the one-man army simply couldn’t get along.

When Korai stepped out of the locker room, very ready to get on the bus back so he could rest, he saw you. His eyes always found you, even if the room was filled with other people. You were there to make sure all the boys came safely out of the locker room and went in the direction of the bus instead of wandering off.

Korai automatically scoffs and adjusts his bag up on his shoulder. “What a difficult job you have,” he said sarcastically, raising a brow as he walked over to look at the notepad you were writing on. You jumped slightly at his sudden presence and looked up, but Korai was surprised when you first met his eyes and then looked up at his hair. And to top it off, you blushed. It looked sweet on your soft skin, making the boy a bit dazed even though he was frowning.

You were flustered because he wore his hair down after a shower.

“It would’ve been easy if I didn’t have to look at your ugly face all the time,” you said, but it sounded much less annoyed than usual. The warm colour on your face made you much less convincing.

“Good one, tomato face,” he said back and rolled his eyes, stepping past you towards the doors. You looked at him over your shoulder, mentally beating yourself up at how ridiculous that was while also getting another good look at him because when did Hoshiumi get so handsome?

The short boy sat down in the bus seat beside Hirugami with a heavy sigh. His friend raised an eyebrow. “I assume you met y/n on your way out?” he asked rhetorically, amused with how he crossed his arms stubbornly.

“She’s so freaking annoying, looked at my undone hair and suddenly acted all bothered,” he grumbled, making faces at the seat in front of him from thinking about it.

Hirugami almost got annoyed with how oblivious his friend could be. Obviously, you two found each other attractive and refused to admit it. After all this time, you finally revealed a crack in your resolve, yet all Korai saw was a challenge. “Probably thought you looked hot,” he said casually, looking out the window where you followed the last players out the door, laughing at something one of them said.

Korai was looking as well, but his eyes widened at Hirugami’s theory. Now his cheeks were even redder than yours were earlier as he grumbled something under his breath and turned away, staring at the floor instead. “What do you know anyways...”

However, there was no denying – despite your continuous attempts – how the atmosphere changed around you two after that. Perhaps even you two could admit it was flirty now, as you laughed at his missed serve during practice and he came over to playfully punch your upper arm and mess up your hair before going back to the practice game. There was always a light air of laughter around you now that wasn’t there before, a discreet way to tell the other please, don’t stop giving me your attention!

Who could blame him for never doing his hair after showering anymore to watch your red cheeks and smile at you before going home for the day? All so he could be recharged for another day of foolery knowing he still had your attention.

And who could blame you for targeting his height with your teasing just so he would come closer to you and make you repeat it to his face? All so you could bat your eyelashes and then push him away while the others gaped at how much differently he reacted when you did it.

Hirugami wasn’t sure which one was more frustrating, before or now. Because both of you were still too stubborn to admit your feelings first. Will he intervene? No! Maybe... Most definitely.

He started with his best friend. Korai was telling him about some observations from their last match at lunch when Hirugami very obviously diverted his attention elsewhere. Korai followed his gaze and found you, smiling and laughing with your friends like you always do. With a small tsk, he turned back around quickly. “Am I boring you?” he asked with the usual attitude.

“Think that guy likes her?” Korai had to ignore how frustrating it was to have a question answered with a question in favour of turning back to where you were. Hirugami smiled at the shift in Korai’s expression.

Korai never took the time to look at your friends, not when he could be looking at you. So he hadn’t really noticed how some of your friends were guys and one of them was leaning particularly close at the moment. It shouldn’t annoy him, because he totally doesn’t like you like that, but it did. “I don’t care.” he insisted, but it wasn’t very convincing when he didn’t stop staring.

Hirugami let out a fake dramatic sigh, spooning another portion of rice into his mouth. “Doesn’t matter, I heard that she likes someone in the volleyball club anyways,” he said as if it was just a throwaway line. Of course, it wasn’t just that to Korai, whose neck looked like it could have snapped from how quickly he turned back to his friend. He was squinting, as if trying to spot any hints of a lie on his face.

“Whatever.” Hirugami’s job was done here, now he just had to talk to you. Unless Korai got to you first, that is. His friend wasn’t exactly known as a patient guy.

The middle blocker passed by you in the hallway on the way to the volleyball club, and he thought fate might be with him. “Y/n, wait up!” he said and fell into step with you while you smiled at him. “Korai was looking for you earlier.”

“He was?” you asked, making Hirugami smile even more.

“Think he wanted to ask you something,” he added casually, and he could swear you walked with a spring in your step now.

You stood beside Korai while they had a break, giving him his water bottle last and wondering what he had wanted to ask you earlier. “So what’s up?” you asked, making him look at you with a raised eyebrow. That was unusually civil of you.

“Nothing, weirdo,” he answered. Maybe Hirugami shouldn’t have intervened…

“Oh, okay,” you said, suddenly looking oddly dejected. Part of you was embarrassed at the hope you had felt when you heard he wanted to talk to you. You’re supposed to deny any feelings, but it was getting more and more difficult every day. Korai was facing the court but didn’t stop looking at you in the corner of his eyes.

Silence fell over you as you tried to think of something else to do, but the other managers were already hard at work. “You look good with your hair like that,” Korai said, making you look at him quite stunned, but he was already jogging back out on the court as the coach blew the whistle.

It made you dizzy. You were thinking constantly about how confusing Korai was today. Did you do something wrong? Did you do something right?

Once again, Korai didn’t style his hair after practice, looking for your attention on his way out of the locker room. He walked over to you while you were gathering your stuff to leave. “Who is it?”

You stop your movement of trying to fit the stupid shoes in your bag, slowly turning your head to look at the boy you wished wasn’t so handsome. “Who’s the dumbest person in this room? I’m looking right at him.” you quipped. It wasn’t a very good insult, but it was all you could manage in your state of attraction mixed with confusion.

“Ha ha. No, who do you like on the team?” he said, or more like insisted. You straightened up and a blush covered your cheeks the way he liked, but he was looking at you with such a deep frown that you felt nervous.

“I like all of you. Even though you’re a bit of a turd sometimes,” you answered childishly.

“You should like me more.” It was a confusing statement, and now you were both just staring at each other as if trying to decipher what the other one was thinking.

“Why?” you finally asked, nose scrunching as you gained some attitude back.

“Because I like you more. It’s only fair,” he said like it wasn’t a confession. It was.

“Fine, then I like you more,” you said stubbornly. If Hirugami saw your matching frowns right now, he would probably laugh.

“Good.”

“Great.” And then Korai couldn’t take it anymore. Curse you and your sweet red cheeks. He put his hands on the sides of your face, thumbs rubbing over the soft skin, and the second he saw how your expression softened, he pulled you in for a kiss.

Fortunately, Hirugami didn’t miss this part. He chuckled under his breath and shook his head before leaving the gym. “Finally.”

masterlist

[nekomanager]

𖦹 themes: x f!reader, public, mutual masturbation, heavy petting

You should've just dined at home.

It all started with him staring intently at your lips and speaking so intimately close to your face. Now, he’s dragging his lips against the skin of your neck, reaching your earlobe and giving it gentle bite.

“Not here.” You squeezed his thigh under the table as warning, but he took your hand away and led it on the bulge on his pants. You gasped to feel him so hard for you. He pressed your hand even further and used it to stroke his cock over his pants, feeling him throb and get bigger against the touch of your hand.

“Can you feel how hard you make me?”

You let out a strained whimper and gulped dryly.

“There are people,” you said almost breathlessly.

“Then stop your little hand from massaging my cock and push me away. Unless…” He skimmed his palm against your thigh, hiking the skirt of your dress up and finding its way on your panties right at your pussy. You’re so fucking wet. He smirked. “You want it too.”

“Someone might see us.” You heaved.

“Not when you keep it down.” His index and middle fingers circled your clit over your panties, which made you grip on his cock so tight. He groaned against your neck as you tried your best to keep your moan from escaping.

You quietly whined his name when his fingers pressed harder. Your one hand stifled your noises while the other was caressing his cock. His heat seeping through the fabric of his slacks.

You squirmed in your seat as he rubbed the lips of your pussy, teasing your slit and ultimately drenching your panties and the inside of your thighs. Fuck! You’re so ready and horny for him that he felt like bursting anytime soon with just your light caresses over his cock.

Through gritted teeth, he hissed against your ear commanding and begging you at the same time, “Restroom.”

—♡ kuroo, osamu, tsukishima, suna, hirugami, iwaizumi, ushijima

© nekorei 2023 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means.

[northescere]

Haikyuu!! as things my friends and I have said (part 2)

edit: part 1

Once again some of these have been edited slightly to make more sense in Haikyuu context. 

warning: idk like one sexual joke

——

Tendou: Put whatever the fuck you want on pizza, just not in front of the Italians

——

Daichi when someone falls asleep during study group: Can you please kick him and wake him up

——

Tanaka: Noya what’s with the all caps bro

Nishinoya: I HAVE AN EXCUSE I GOT AN ANEURYSM TRYING TO DO MATH

——

Hinata: (stepping onto the court and inhaling) Smell that volleyball scent

Kageyama: (frowning) Body odour? 

——

Bokuto: I remember I once read that male tits are one of the most useless body parts. But what will gay people bite on when they’re fucking?

Kuroo: The feet? Obviously they would bite on the feet

Kenma: What the actual Hell

——

Sakusa: My lap is cold for some reason

Atsumu: Need someone to sit on it?

——

Suna: just backwards shrimp

Osamu: that is NOT how you solve scoliosis

——

Tendou: If crossing lights are shaped like people, why aren’t traffic lights shaped like cars?

Ushiwaka: (eyes going wide)

——

Tanaka (talking about Zyrtec): IT DOESN’T WORK.

Saeko: THEN DOWN THE WHOLE FUCKING BOTTLE, RYUU. TAKE IT LIKE A SHOT (aggressive drinking movements)

——

Terushima: I won’t find a shit husband, I’ll find a piss husband

——

(texting)

hoshiumi: im amazing. I know everything 

hirugami: are you god 😟😟😟

hoshiumi: no

hoshiumi: im a threat start running

——

counsellor: has anyone here ever had a disagreement with their parents?

oikawa: I once had an argument with my dad over the existence of aliens