#Happy 10 year anniversary to one of my favorite things!

[bopossum]

Would you consider this a furry convention?

[seungfl0wer]

*Han Calling You Clingy*

Pairing: Han x Reader (GN)

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Cursing, Alcohol, Reader Gets drunk, Not proof Read

Buckled up for this one yall it hurted me ngl. I also while putting it all together realized i in fact of course messed up a part of the messages. So I am sorry in advance 🥲

This is part of a series. Find the others here:

Bangchan, Changbin, Minho, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin

-🩵

Today was Han and yours 3 year anniversary. You had planned a nice dinner and a surprise for him after you both got home. You made reservations at one of his favorite restaurants and even got a new outfit for it. Hans been busy with the new album the last few weeks, he’s been super stressed and you know this would definitely help wind him down a bit.

You had told him a few times about the dinner because he forgets things easily. He was doing some work at the studio right now but he said he’d meet you there for dinner since he had to finish some things up. You put on your cute outfit and got yourself all ready to leave the house. You texted him “I’m leaving the house now! See you soon😘” before heading out.

About 15 mins had passed since you had gotten there for your reservation. You had gotten seated and gotten a drink. You were getting nervous that he had forgotten so you texted him a simple “hey babe did you leave yet?” It was radio silent after another 10 minutes you texted again.

Everything in you wanted to cry I mean you had a few tears but you quickly wiped them away. You sat there for a moment in honest shock of what to do. The love of your life is standing you up, yelling at you and forgot your anniversary. What the actual fuck. You waved the waiter over, got the check for your drink and left. You didn’t wanna go home you wanted to find jisung and punch him in his cute stupid face.

Driving home you stopped at a park close to your house. You sat there and cried. You cried hard your chest heaving feeling like your heart was thrown at the wall and smashed with a bat. You punched your steering wheel and just deflated. You had gotten a call from a friend of yours who asked if you and ji wanted to go to the bar with him and his gf. You sniffled trying not to cry on the phone but he knew something was up. He drove to where you were, him and his gf both were friends of yours. So when you saw them you just bursted into tears again.

The consoled you for a bit before asking what you wanted to do. “You know what- fuck it let’s go to the bar” you said. You wanted to numb the pain just wanted to drink everything away. To come home and just puke all of jisung stuff. The both nodded, they followed you to your house to drop your car off and drove to the bar. It didn’t take long for you to start taking shots back. You just wanted to forget the night and to forget Jisung.

It was late, you were plastered you had gotten a text from Jisung who must have just gotten home to see the surprise you had laid out for him. You had gotten him a new guitar that he’s been wanting it was placed on the bed with a note. The note read.

“Hannie! The actual love of my life. I can’t believe it’s been 3 years! Were you surprised? I bet you were! I just wanted to tell you I love you so much. I appreciate you and I know you’ve been working so hard so I hope today relieved some of that stress. I love you my sweets. Happy 3 years! I hope for many many more. -love your amazing loving girlfriend.”

Han choked back tears realizing what he had done. He had forgotten your anniversary but most importantly he had yell at you when all you were trying to do was make him happy. He broke down in tears, curled up on the floor in a little bawl. He could feel his chest tightening, he was scared. He didn’t know where you were, what you might have done or if you were safe.

Your phone ended up dying not knowing the floods of texts you were about to get. You didn’t know it but you started to cry. Your friends helped you to the car, the boy not drinking at all that night drove you to their place. He put you in the guest room while the girl put some water by your bed, a bucket and put your phone on the charger. You curled up knocked out cold from crying and the alcohol. You woke up around 5am feeling your head pounding. You couldn’t remember much of anything from the night.

You picked your phone up not even looking at the texts and called Jisung. He answered it immediately in a frenzy. “Y/n!” He said his voice horse from crying. Your head spun as you slurred “ji can come to (friend’s name) I wanna cuddle.” Jisung was confused but he didn’t ask questions “of course I’ll be there in 5.” He said basically sprinting to his car. “Mkay, ima gonna walk down to the door.” You said fumbling to get to your feet. Jisung drove like a madman he even ran a red light.

His heart dropped seeing you slumped over trying to stay awake at the door “hey I’m here” he said as he opened the door taking your hand. You fell into his chest holding onto him with a death grip. You started to sob, you cried so hard but in your dazed state you didn’t know why you were crying.

Jisung clung to you rubbing your back trying not to cry himself, he pulled you to the car getting you to sit in the back. Where you promptly laid down and just cried. Jisung drove just as fast as home one hand on the wheel and the other rubbing your head to try to calm you. Your cries had almost completely stopped as you pulled into your place. Jisung left out a soft sigh the tears he was choking back were bursting at the seems. He held them back until he got you safely into the room laying you down.

He wanted to leave you alone knowing you were hurting still but you quickly pulled him into bed with you. He curled up with you as you both laid there, your eyes half opened “I’m sorry for being so clingy” you said. Your voice sounded so sad so meek. “I don’t wanna ever be a bother to you” you kept going on. The tears he had choked back finally broke and it started to flood.

He held you close crying hard trying to get out the words he wanted to say “don’t you dare apologize” he croaked out. “You did absolutely nothing wrong, it was all me” he said rubbing your head. “Don’t you think for a second you did anything.”

You both ended up drifting to sleep both of your heads spinning as you woke up. You looked over at jisung his eyes puffy and his chest still heaving from the nights happenings. You read through all the messages he had sent and sighed softly. You were still hurt by his words and it was gonna take some to comeback from but he was genuinely sorry. The way he clung to you told you that alone. He was afraid you were gonna leave. That thought really never crossed your mind but he knew he fucked up bad enough that it could be a reason to leave. He’s never yelled before let alone said anything mean towards you. You knew he was hurting from what he said but so were you.

You thought to yourself though laying there in his arms “i do very much love him but he’s gonna have to do some heavy groveling to make it up to you” you smiled a bit.

💙 if you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open feel free to send me something🩵

[turnstileskyline]

The Oral History of Take This To Your Grave – transcription under the cut

The pages that are just photographs, I haven't included. This post is already long enough.

Things that happened in 2003: Arnold Schwarzenegger became governor of California. Teen Vogue published its first issue. The world lost Johnny Cash. Johnny Depp appeared as Captain Jack Sparrow for the first time. A third Lord of the Rings movie arrived. Patrick Stump, Pete Wentz, Joe Trohman, and Andy Hurley released Take This To Your Grave.

"About 21 years ago or so, as I was applying to colleges I would ultimately never go to, Fall Out Boy began as a little pop-punk side project of what we assumed was Pete's more serious band, Arma Angelus," Patrick wrote in a May 2023 social media post.

"We were sloppy and couldn't solidify a lineup, but the three of us (Pete, Joe, and I) were having way too much fun to give up on it."

"We were really rough around the edges. As an example of how rough, one of my favorite teachers pulled me aside after hearing the recording that would eventually become Evening Out With Your Girlfriend and tactfully said, 'What do you think your best instrument is, Patrick? Drums. It's drums. Probably not singing, Patrick.'"

"We went into Smart Studios with the Sean O'Keefe... So, there we were, 3/5 of a band with a singer who'd only been singing a year, no drummer, and one out of two guitarists. But we had the opportunity to record with Sean at Butch Vig's legendary studio.

"Eight or so months later, Fueled by Ramen would give us a contract to record the remaining songs. We'd sleep on floors, eat nothing but peanut butter and jelly, live in a van for the next three years, and somehow despite that, eventually play with Elton John and Taylor Swift and Jay-Z and for President Obama and the NFC championship, and all these other wildly unpredictable things. But none of that would ever come close to happening if Andy hadn't made it to the session and Joe hadn't dragged us kicking and screaming into being a band."

Two decades after its release, Take This To Your Grave sits comfortable in the Top 10 of Rolling Stone's 50 Greatest Pop-Punk Albums, edging out landmark records from Buzzcocks, Generation X, Green Day, The Offspring, Blink-182, and The Ramones.

It even ranked higher than Through Being Cool by Saves The Day and Jersey's Best Dancers from Lifetime, two records the guys in Fall Out Boy particularly revere.

Fall Out Boy's proper full-length debut on Fueled by Ramen is a deceptively smart, sugar-sweet, raw, energetic masterpiece owing as much to the bass player's pop culture passions, the singers deep love of R&B and soul, and their shared history in the hardcore scene as any pioneering punk band. Fall Out Boy's creative and commercial heights were still ahead, but Take This To Your Grave kicked it off, a harbinger for the enduring songwriting partnership between Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz, the eclectic contributions from Joe Trohman, and the propulsive powerhouse that is Andy Hurley.

The recordings document a special moment when Fall Out Boy was big in "the scene" but a "secret" from the mainstream. The band (and some of their friends) first sat down for an Oral History (which doubled as an Oral History of their origin story) with their old friend Ryan J. Downey, then Senior Editor for Alternative Press, upon the occasion of the album's 10th anniversary. What follows is an updated, sharper, and expanded version of that story, newly re-edited in 2023. As Patrick eloquently said: "Happy 20th birthday, Take This To Your Grave, you weird brilliant lightning strike accident of a record."

– Ryan J. Downey.

A Weird, Brilliant Lightning Strike Of A Record. The Oral History Of Fall Out Boy's Take This To Your Grave.

As told by:

Patrick Stump

Pete Wentz

Joe Trohman

Andy Hurley

Bob McLynn - Crush Music

Sean O'Keefe - Producer/Mixer

John Janick - Fueled By Ramen

Tim McIlrath - Rise Against

Mani Mostofi - Racetraitor

Chris Gutierrez - Arma Angelus

Mark Rose - Spitalfield

Sean Muttaqi - Uprising Records

Rory Felton - The Militia Group

Richard Reines - Drive-Thru Records

"To Feel No More Bitterness Forever" - From Hardcore to Softcore, 1998-2000

PETE WENTZ: When I got into hardcore, it was about discovering the world beyond yourself. There was a culture of trying to be a better person. That was part of what was so alluring about hardcore and punk for me. But for whatever reason, it shifted. Maybe this was just in Chicago, but it became less about the thought process behind it and more about moshing and breakdowns. There was a close-mindedness that felt very reactive.

TIM MCILRITH: I saw First Born many years ago, which was the first time I saw Pete and met him around then. This was '90s hardcore - p.c., vegan, activist kind of hardcore music. Pete was in many of those bands doing that kind of thing, and I was at many of those shows. The hardcore scene in Chicago was pretty small, so everyone kind of knew each other. I knew Andy Hurley as the drummer in Racetraitor. I was in a band called Baxter, so Pete always called me 'Baxter.' I was just 'Baxter' to a lot of those guys.

JOE TROHMAN: I was a young hardcore kid coming to the shows. The same way we all started doing bands. You're a shitty kid who goes to punk and hardcore shows, and you see the other bands playing, and you want to make friends with those guys because you want to play in bands too. Pete and I had a bit of a connection because we're from the same area. I was the youngest dude at most shows. I would see Extinction, Racetraitor, Burn It Down, and all the bands of that era.

WENTZ: My driver's license was suspended then, so Joe drove me everywhere. We listened to either Metalcore like Shai Hulud or pop-punk stuff like Screeching Weasel.

MCILRITH: I was in a band with Pete called Arma Angelus. I was like their fifth or sixth bass player. I wasn't doing anything musically when they hit me up to play bass, so I said, 'Of course.' I liked everyone in the band. We were rehearsing, playing a few shows here and there, with an ever-revolving cast of characters. We recorded a record together at the time. I even sing on that record, believe it or not, they gave me a vocal part. Around that same time, I began meeting with [bassist] Joe [Principe] about starting what would become Rise Against.

CHRIS GUTIERREZ: Wentz played me the Arma Angelus demo in the car. He said he wanted it to be a mix of Despair, Buried Alive, and Damnation A.D. He told me Tim was leaving to start another band - which ended up being Rise Against - and asked if I wanted to play bass.

TROHMAN: Pete asked me to fill in for a tour when I was 15. Pete had to call my dad to convince him to let me go. He did it, too. It was my first tour, in a shitty cargo van, with those dudes. They hazed the shit out of me. It was the best and worst experience. Best overall, worst at the time.

GUTIERREZ: Enthusiasm was starting to wane in Arma Angelus. Our drummer was really into cock-rock. It wasn't an ironic thing. He loved L.A. Guns, Whitesnake, and Hanoi Rocks. It drove Pete nuts because the scene was about Bleeding Through and Throwdown, not cock rock. He was frustrated that things weren't panning out for the band, and of course, there's a ceiling for how big a metalcore band can get, anyway.

MANI MOSTOFI: Pete had honed this tough guy persona, which I think was a defense mechanism. He had some volatile moments in his childhood. Underneath, he was a pretty sensitive and vulnerable person. After playing in every mosh-metal band in the Midwest and listening exclusively to Earth Crisis, Damnation A.D., Chokehold, and stuff like that for a long time, I think Pete wanted to do something fresh. He had gotten into Lifetime, Saves The Day, The Get Up Kids, and bands like that. Pete was at that moment where the softer side of him needed an outlet, and didn't want to hide behind mosh-machismo. I remember him telling me he wanted to start a band that more girls could listen to.

MCILRATH: Pete was talking about starting a pop-punk band. Bands like New Found Glory and Saves The Day were successful then. The whole pop-punk sound was accessible. Pete was just one of those guys destined for bigger things than screaming for mediocre hardcore bands in Chicago. He's a smart guy, a brilliant guy. All the endeavors he had taken on, even in the microcosm of the 1990s Chicago hardcore world, he put a lot of though into it. You could tell that if he were given a bigger receptacle to put that thought into, it could become something huge. He was always talented: lyrics, imagery, that whole thing. He was ahead of the curve. We were in this hardcore band from Chicago together, but we were both talking about endeavors beyond it.

TROHMAN: The drummer for Arma Angelus was moving. Pete and I talked about doing something different. It was just Pete and me at first. There was this thuggishness happening in the Chicago hardcore scene at that time that wasn't part of our vibe. It was cool, but it wasn't our thing.

MCILRITH: One day at Arma Angelus practice, Pete asked me, 'Are you going to do that thing with Joe?' I was like, 'Yeah, I think so.' He was like, 'You should do that, dude. Don't let this band hold you back. I'll be doing something else, too. We should be doing other things.' He was really ambitious. It was so amazing to me, too, because Pete was a guy who, at the time, was kind of learning how to play the bass. A guy who didn't really play an instrument will do down in history as one of the more brilliant musicians in Chicago. He had everything else in his corner. He knew how to do everything else. He needed to get some guys behind him because he had the rest covered. He had topics, themes, lyrics, artwork, this whole image he wanted to do, and he was uncompromising. He also tapped into something the rest of us were just waking up to: the advent of the internet. I mean, the internet wasn't new, but higher-speed internet was.

MOSTOFI: Joe was excited to be invited by Pete to do a band. Joe was the youngest in our crew by far, and Pete was the 'coolest' in a Fonzie sort of way. Joe deferred to Pete's judgement for years. But eventually, his whole life centered around bossy big-brother Pete. I think doing The Damned Things was for Joe what Fall Out Boy was for Pete, in a way. It was a way to find his own space within the group of friends. Unsurprisingly, Joe now plays a much more significant role in Fall Out Boy's music.

WENTZ: I wanted to do something easy and escapist. When Joe and I started the band, it was the worst band of all time. I feel like people said, 'Oh, yeah, you started Fall Out Boy to get big.' Dude, there was way more of a chance of every other band getting big in my head than Fall Out Boy. It was a side thing that was fun to do. Racetraitor and Extinction were big bands to me. We wanted to do pop-punk because it would be fun and hilarious. It was definitely on a lark. We weren't good. If it was an attempt at selling out, it was a very poor attempt.

MCILRITH: It was such a thing for people to move from hardcore bands to bands called 'emo' or pop-punk, as those bands were starting to get some radio play and signed to major labels. Everyone thought it was easy, but it's not as easy as that. Most guys we knew who tried it never did anything more successful than their hardcore bands. But Pete did it! And if anyone was going to, it was going to be him. He never did anything half-assed. He ended up playing bass in so many bands in Chicago, even though he could barely play the bass then, because simply putting him in your band meant you'd have a better show. He was just more into it. He knew more about dynamics, about getting a crowd to react to what you're doing than most people. Putting Pete in your band put you up a few notches.

"I'm Writing You A Chorus And Here Is Your Verse" - When Pete met Patrick, early 2001.

MARK ROSE: Patrick Stump played drums in this grindcore band called Grinding Process. They had put out a live split cassette tape.

PATRICK STUMP: My ambition always outweighed my ability or actual place in the world. I was a drummer and played in many bands and tried to finagle my way into better ones but never really managed. I was usually outgunned by the same two guys: this guy Rocky Senesce; I'm not sure if he's playing anymore, but he was amazing. And this other guy, De'Mar Hamilton, who is now in Plain White T's. We'd always go out for the same bands. I felt like I was pretty good, but then those guys just mopped the floor with me. I hadn't been playing music for a few months. I think my girlfriend dumped me. I was feeling down. I wasn't really into pop-punk or emo. I think at the time I was into Rhino Records box sets.

TROHMAN: I was at the Borders in Eden's Plaza in Wilmette, Illinois. My friend Arthur was asking me about Neurosis. Patrick just walked up and started talking to me.

STUMP: I was a bit arrogant and cocky, like a lot of young musicians. Joe was talking kind of loudly and I overheard him say something about Neurosis, and I think I came in kind of snotty, kind of correcting whatever they had said.

TROHMAN: We just started talking about music, and my buddy Arthur got shoved out of the conversation. I told him about the band we were starting. Pete was this local hardcore celebrity, which intrigued Patrick.

STUMP: I had similar conversations with any number of kids my age. This conversation didn't feel crazy special. That's one of the things that's real about [Joe and I meeting], and that's honest about it, that's it's not some 'love at first sight' thing where we started talking about music and 'Holy smokes, we're going to have the best band ever!' I had been in a lot of bands up until then. Hardcore was a couple of years away from me at that point. I was over it, but Pete was in real bands; that was interesting. Now I'm curious and I want to do this thing, or at least see what happens. Joe said they needed a drummer, guitar player, or singer, and I kind of bluffed and said I could do any one of those things for a pop-punk band. I'd had a lot of conversations about starting bands where I meet up with somebody and maybe try to figure out some songs and then we'd never see each other again. There were a lot of false starts and I assumed this would be just another one of those, but it would be fun for this one to be with the guy from Racetraitor and Extinction.

TROHMAN: He gave me the link to his MP3.com page. There were a few songs of him just playing acoustic and singing. He was awesome.

WENTZ: Joe told me we were going to this kid's house who would probably be our drummer but could also sing. He sent me a link to Patrick singing some acoustic thing, but the quality was so horrible it was hard to tell what it was. Patrick answered the door in some wild outfit. He looked like an emo kid but from the Endpoint era - dorky and cool. We went into the basement, and he was like, trying to set up his drums.

TROHMAN: Patrick has said many times that he intended to try out on drums. I was pushing for him to sing after hearing his demos. 'Hey! Sing for us!' I asked him to take out his acoustic guitar. He played songs from Saves The Day's Through Being Cool. I think he sang most of the record to us. We were thrilled. We had never been around someone who could sing like that.

WENTZ: I don't think Patrick thought we were cool at all. We were hanging out, and he started playing acoustic guitar. He started singing, and I realized he could sing any Saves The Day song. I was like, 'Wow, that's the way those bands sound! We should just have you sing.' It had to be serendipity because Patrick drumming and Joe singing is not the same band. I never thought about singing. It wasn't the type of thing I could sing. I knew I'd be playing bass. I didn't think it'd even go beyond a few practices. It didn't seem like the thing I was setting myself up to do for the next several years of my life in any way. I was going to college. It was just a fun getaway from the rest of life kind of thing to do.

STUMP: Andy was the first person we asked to play drums. Joe even brought him up in the Borders conversation. But Andy was too busy. He wasn't really interested, either, because we kind of sucked.

WENTZ: I wanted Hurley in the band, I was closest to him at the time, I had known him for a long time. I identified with him in the way that we were the younger dudes in our larger group. I tried to get him, but he was doing another band at the time, or multiple bands. He was Mani's go-to guy to play drums, always. I had asked him a few times. That should clue people into the fact that we weren't that good.

ANDY HURLEY: I knew Joe as 'Number One Fan.' We called him that because he was a huge fan of a band I was in, Kill The Slavemaster. When Fall Out Boy started, I was going to college full-time. I was in the band Project Rocket and I think The Kill Pill then, too.

MOSTOFI: After they got together the first or second time, Pete played me a recording and said, 'This is going to be big.' They had no songs, no name, no drummer. They could barely play their instruments. But Pete knew, and we believed him because we could see his drive and Patrick's potential. Patrick was prodigy. I imagine the first moment Pete heard him sing was probably like when I heard 15-year-old Andy Hurley play drums.

GUTIERREZ: One day at practice, Pete told me he had met some dudes with whom he was starting a pop-punk band. He said it would sound like a cross between New Found Glory and Lifetime. Then the more Fall Out Boy started to practice, the less active Arma Angelus became.

TROHMAN: We got hooked up with a friend named Ben Rose, who became our original drummer. We would practice in his parents' basement. We eventually wrote some pretty bad songs. I don't even have the demo. I have copies of Arma's demo, but I don't have that one.

MOSTOFI: We all knew that hardcore kids write better pop-punk songs than actual pop-punk kids. It had been proven. An experienced hardcore musician could bring a sense of aggression and urgency to the pop hooks in a way that a band like Yellowcard could never achieve. Pete and I had many conversations about this. He jokingly called it 'Softcore,' but that's precisely what it was. It's what he was going for. Take This To Your Grave sounds like Hot Topic, but it feels like CBGBs.

MCILRITH: Many hardcore guys who transitioned into pop-punk bands dumbed it down musically and lyrically. Fall Out Boy found a way to do it that wasn't dumbed down. They wrote music and lyrics that, if you listened closely, you could tell came from people who grew up into hardcore. Pete seemed to approach the song titles and lyrics the same way he attacked hardcore songs. You could see his signature on all of that.

STUMP: We all had very different ideas of what it should sound like. I signed up for Kid Dynamite, Strike Anywhere, or Dillinger Four. Pete was very into Lifetime and Saves The Day. I think both he and Joe were into New Found Glory and Blink-182. I still hadn't heard a lot of stuff. I was arrogant; I was a rock snob. I was over most pop-punk. But then I had this renaissance week where I was like, 'Man, you know what? I really do like The Descendents.' Like, the specific week I met Joe, it just happened to be that I was listening to a lot of Descendents. So, there was a part of me that was tickled by that idea. 'You know what? I'll try a pop-punk band. Why not?'

MOSTOFI: To be clear, they were trying to become a big band. But they did it by elevating radio-friendly pop punk, not debasing themselves for popularity. They were closely studying Drive-Thru Records bands like The Starting Line, who I couldn't stand. But they knew what they were doing. They extracted a few good elements from those bands and combined them with their other influences. Patrick never needed to be auto-tuned. He can sing. Pete never had to contrive this emotional depth. He always had it.

STUMP: The ideas for band names were obnoxious. At some point, Pete and I were arguing over it, and I think our first drummer, Ben Rose, who was in the hardcore band Strength In Numbers, suggested Fall Out Boy. Pete and I were like, 'Well, we don't hate that one. We'll keep it on the list.' But we never voted on a name.

"Fake It Like You Matter" - The Early Shows, 2001

The name Fall Out Boy made their shortlist, but their friends ultimately chose it for them. The line-up at the band's first show was Patrick Stump (sans guitar), Pete Wentz, Joe Trohman, drummer Ben Rose, and guitarist John Flamandan in his only FOB appearance.

STUMP: We didn't have a name at our two or three shows. We were basically booked as 'Pete's new band' as he was the most known of any of us. Pete and I were the artsy two.

TROHMAN: The rest of us had no idea what we were doing onstage.

STUMP: We took ourselves very seriously and completely different ideas on what was 'cool.' Pete at the time was somewhere between maybe Chuck Palahniuk and Charles Bukowski, and kind of New Romantic and Manchester stuff, so he had that in mind. The band names he suggested were long and verbose, somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I was pretty much only into Tom Waits, so I wanted everything to be a reference to Tom Waits. The first show was at DePaul [University] in some cafeteria. The room looked a lot nicer than punk rock shows are supposed to look, like a room where you couldn't jump off the walls. We played with a band called Stillwell. I want to say one of the other bands played Black Sabbath's Black Sabbath in its entirety. We were out of place. We were tossing a few different names around. The singer for Stillwell was in earshot of the conversation so I was like 'Hey, settle this for us,' and told him whatever name it was, which I can't remember. 'What do you think of this name?' He goes, 'It sucks.' And the way he said it, there was this element to it, like, 'You guys probably suck, too, so whatever.' That was our first show. We played first and only had three songs. That was John's only show with us, and I never saw him again. I was just singing without a guitar, and I had never just sung before; that was horrifying. We blazed through those songs.

ROSE: Patrick had this shoulder-length hair. Watching these guys who were known for heavier stuff play pop-punk was strange. Pete was hopping around with the X's on his hands. Spitalfield was similar; we were kids playing another style of music who heard Texas Is The Reason and Get Up Kids and said, 'We have to start a band like this.'

MOSTOFI: The first show was a lot of fun. The musical side wasn't there, but Pete and Patrick's humor and charisma were front and center.

TROHMAN: I remember having a conversation with Mani about stage presence. He was telling me how important it was. Coalesce and The Dillinger Escape Plan would throw mic stands and cabinets. We loved that visual excitement and appeal. Years later, Patrick sang a Fall Out Boy song with Taylor Swift at Giants Stadium. It was such a great show to watch that I was reminded of how wise Mani was to give me that advice back then. Mani was like a mentor for me, honestly. He would always guide me through stuff.

MOSTOFI: Those guys grew up in Chicago, either playing in or seeing Extinction, Racetraitor, Los Crudos, and other bands that liked to talk and talk between songs. Fall Out Boy did that, and it was amazing. Patrick was awkward in a knowing and hilarious way. He'd say something odd, and then Pete would zing him. Or Pete would try to say something too cool, and Patrick would remind him they were nerds. These are very personal memories for me. Millions of people have seen the well-oiled machine, but so few of us saw those guys when they were so carefree.

TROHMAN: We had this goofy, bad first show, but all I can tell you was that I was determined to make this band work, no matter what.

STUMP: I kind of assumed that was the end of that. 'Whatever, on with our lives.' But Joe was very determined. He was going to pick us up for practice and we were going to keep playing shows. He was going to make the band happen whether the rest of us wanted to or not. That's how we got past show number one. John left the band because we only had three songs and he wasn't very interested. In the interim, I filled in on guitar. I didn't consider myself a guitar player. Our second show was a college show in Southern Illinois or something.

MCILRITH: That show was with my other band, The Killing Tree.

STUMP: We showed up late and played before The Killing Tree. There was no one there besides the bands and our friends. I think we had voted on some names. Pete said 'Hey, we're whatever!'; probably something very long. And someone yells out, 'Fuck that, no, you're Fall Out Boy!' Then when The Killing Tree was playing, Tim said, 'I want to thank Fall Out Boy.' Everyone looked up to Tim, so when he forced the name on us, it was fine. I was a diehard Simpsons fan, without question. I go pretty deep on The Simpsons. Joe and I would just rattle off Simpsons quotes. I used to do a lot of Simpsons impressions. Ben was very into Simpsons; he had a whole closet full of Simpsons action figures.

"If Only You Knew I Was Terrified" - The Early Recordings, 2002-2003

Wentz's relationships in the hardcore scene led to Fall Out Boy's first official releases. A convoluted and rarely properly explained chain of events resulted in the Fall Out Boy/Project Rocket split EP and Fall Out Boy's Evening Out with Your Girlfriend. Both were issued by California's Uprising Records, whose discography included Racetraitor's first album and the debut EP by Burn It Down. The band traveled to Wisconsin to record their first proper demo with engineer Jared Logan, drummer for Uprising's 7 Angels 7 Plagues.

TROHMAN: This isn't to be confused with the demo we did in Ben's basement, which was like a tape demo. This was our first real demo.

STUMP: Between booking the demo and recording it, we lost Ben Rose. He was the greatest guy, but it wasn't working out musically. Pete and Joe decided I should play drums on the demo. But Jared is a sick drummer, so he just did it.

TROHMAN: We had gotten this great singer but went through a series of drummers that didn't work out. I had to be the one who kicked Ben out. Not long after, our friend Brett Bunting played with us. I don't think he really wanted to do it, which was a bummer.

STUMP: I showed up to record that demo, feeling pulled into it. I liked hanging out with the guys, but I was a rock snob who didn't really want to be making that type of music. The first few songs were really rough. We were sloppy. We barely practiced. Pete was in Arma Angelus. Joe was the guy determined to make it happen. We couldn't keep a drummer or guitar player, and I could barely play guitar. I didn't really want to be in Fall Out Boy. We had these crappy songs that kind of happened; it didn't feel like anything. Joe did the guitars. I go in to do the vocals, I put on the headphones, and it starts playing and was kind of not bad! It was pretty good, actually. I was shocked. That was the first time I was like, 'Maybe I am supposed to be in this band.' I enjoyed hearing it back.

SEAN MUTTAQI: Wentz and I were pretty tight. He sent me some demos, and while I didn't know it would get as big as it did, I knew it was special. Wentz had a clear vision. Of all the guys from that scene, he was the most singularly focused on taking things to the next level. He was ahead of the game with promotion and the early days of social media.

STUMP: Arma Angelus had been on Eulogy. We talked to them a bit and spoke to Uprising because they had put out Racetraitor. At some point, the demo got to Sean, and he decided to make it half of a split with Andy's band, Project Rocket. We were pretty happy with that.

HURLEY: It was kind of competitive for me at the time. Project Rocket and Fall Out Boy were both doing pop-punk/pop-rock, I met Patrick through the band. I didn't really know him before Fall Out Boy.

TROHMAN: We got this drummer, Mike Pareskuwicz, who had been in a hardcore band from Central Illinois called Subsist.

STUMP: Uprising wanted us to make an album. We thought that was cool, but we only had those three songs that were on the split. We were still figuring ourselves out. One of the times we were recording with Jared in the studio, for the split or the album, this guy T.J. Kunasch was there. He was like, 'Hey, do you guys need a guitarist?' And he joined.

MUTTAQI: I borrowed some money to get them back in the studio. The songwriting was cool on that record, but it was all rushed. The urgency to get something out led to the recording being subpar. Their new drummer looked the part but couldn't really play. They had already tracked the drums before they realized it didn't sound so hot.

STUMP: The recording experience was not fun. We had two days to do an entire album. Mike was an awesome dude, but he lived crazy far away, in Kanakee, Illinois, so the drive to Milwaukee wasn't easy for him. He had to work or something the next day. So, he did everything in one take and left. He played alone, without a click, so it was a ness to figure out. We had to guess where the guitar was supposed to go. None of us liked the songs because we had slapped them together. We thought it all sucked. But I thought, 'Well, at least it'll be cool to have something out.' Then a lot of time went by. Smaller labels were at the mercy of money, and it was crazy expensive to put out a record back then.

MUTTAQI: Our record was being rushed out to help generate some interest, but that interest was building before we could even get the record out. We were beholden to finances while changing distribution partners and dealing with other delays. The buck stops with me, yes, but I didn't have that much control over the scheduling.

WENTZ: It's not what I would consider the first Fall Out Boy record. Hurley isn't on it and he's an integral part of the Fall Out Boy sound. But it is part of the history, the legacy. NASA didn't go right to the moon. They did test flights in the desert. Those are our test flights in the desert. It's not something I'm ashamed of or have weird feelings about.

STUMP: It's kind of embarrassing to me. Evening Out... isn't representative of the band we became. I liked Sean a lot, so it's nothing against him. If anybody wants to check out the band in that era, I think the split EP is a lot cooler. Plus, Andy is on that one.

TROHMAN: T.J. was the guy who showed up to the show without a guitar. He was the guy that could never get it right, but he was in the band for a while because we wanted a second guitar player. He's a nice dude but wasn't great to be in a band with back then. One day he drove unprompted from Racine to Chicago to pick up some gear. I don't know how he got into my parents' house, but the next thing I knew, he was in my bedroom. I didn't like being woken up and kicked him out of the band from bed.

STUMP: Our friend Brian Bennance asked us to do a split 7" with 504 Plan, which was a big band to us. Brian offered to pay for us to record with Sean O'Keefe, which was also a big deal. Mike couldn't get the time off work to record with us. We asked Andy to play on the songs. He agreed to do it, but only if he could make it in time after recording an entire EP with his band, The Kill Pill, in Chicago, on the same day.

MOSTOFI: Andy and I started The Kill Pill shortly after Racetraitor split up, not long after Fall Out Boy had formed. We played a bunch of local shows together. The minute Andy finished tracking drums for our EP in Chicago, he raced to the other studio in Madison.

STUMP: I'm getting ready to record the drums myself, getting levels and checking the drums, pretty much ready to go. And then in walks Andy Hurley. I was a little bummed because I really wanted to play drums that day. But then Andy goes through it all in like two takes and fucking nailed the entire thing. He just knocked it out of the park. All of us were like, 'That's crazy!'

WENTZ: When Andy came in, It just felt different. It was one of those 'a-ha' moments.

STUMP: Sean leaned over to us and said, 'You need to get this guy in the band.'

SEAN O'KEEFE: We had a blast. We pumped It out. We did it fast and to analog tape. People believe it was very Pro Tools oriented, but it really was done to 24-track tape. Patrick sang his ass off.

STUMP: The songs we had were 'Dead On Arrival,' 'Saturday,' and 'Homesick at Space Camp. There are quite a few songs that ended up on Take This To You Grave where I wrote most of the lyrics but Pete titled them.

WENTZ: 'Space Camp' was a reference to the 1986 movie, SpaceCamp, and the idea of space camp. Space camp wasn't something anyone in my area went to. Maybe they did, but it was never an option for me. It seems like the little kid version of meeting Jay-Z. The idea was also: what if you, like Joaquin Phoenix in the movie, took off to outer space and wanted to get home? 'I made it to space and now I'm just homesick and want to hang out with my friends.' In the greater sense, it's about having it all, but it's still not enough. There's a pop culture reference in 'Saturday' that a lot of people miss. 'Pete and I attack the lost Astoria' was a reference to The Goonies, which was filmed in Astoria, Oregon.

HURLEY: I remember hearing those recordings, especially 'Dead on Arrival,' and Patrick's voice and how well written those songs were, especially relative to anything else I had done - I had a feeling that this could do something.

WENTZ: It seemed like it would stall out if we didn't get a solid drummer in the band soon. That was the link that we couldn't nail down. Patrick was always a big musical presence. He thinks and writes rhythmi-cally, and we couldn't get a drummer to do what he wanted or speak his language. Hurley was the first one that could. It's like hearing two drummers talk together when they really get it. It sounds like a foreign language because it's not something I'm keyed into. Patrick needed someone on a similar musical plane. I wasn't there. Joe was younger and was probably headed there.

HURLEY: When Patrick was doing harmonies, it was like Queen. He's such a brilliant dude. I was always in bands that did a record and then broke up. I felt like this was a band that could tour a lot like the hardcore bands we loved, even if we had to have day jobs, too.

"(Four) Tired Boys And A Broken Down Van" - The Early Tours, 2002-2003

STUMP: We booked a tour with Spitalfield, another Chicago band, who had records out, so they were a big deal to us. We replaced T.J. with a guy named Brandon Hamm. He was never officially in the band. He quit when we were practicing 'Saturday.' He goes, 'I don't like that. I don't want to do this anymore.' Pete talked with guitarist Chris Envy from Showoff, who had just broken up. Chris said, 'Yeah, I'll play in your band.' He came to two practices, then quit like two days before the tour. It was only a two-week tour, but Mike couldn't get the time off work from Best Buy, or maybe it was Blockbuster. We had to lose Mike, which was the hardest member change for me. It was unpleasant.

TROHMAN: We had been trying to get Andy to join the band for a while. Even back at that first Borders conversation, we talked about him, but he was too busy at the time.

STUMP: I borrowed one of Joe's guitars and jumped in the fire. We were in this legendarily shitty used van Pete had gotten. It belonged to some flower shop, so it had this ominously worn-out flower decal outside and no windows [except in the front]. Crappy brakes, no A/C, missing the rearview mirror, no seats in the back, only the driver's seat. About 10 minutes into the tour, we hit something. A tire exploded and slingshot into the passenger side mirror, sending glass flying into the van. We pulled over into some weird animal petting zoo. I remember thinking, 'This is a bad omen for this tour.' Spitalfield was awesome, and we became tight with them. Drew Brown, who was later in Weekend Nachos, was out with them, too. But most of the shows were canceled.

WENTZ: We'd end up in a town, and our show was canceled, or we'd have three days off. 'Let's just get on whatever show we can. Whatever, you can pay us in pizza.'

STUMP: We played in a pizza place. We basically blocked the line of people trying to order pizza, maybe a foot away from the shitty tables. Nobody is trying to watch a band. They're just there to eat pizza. And that was perhaps the biggest show we played on that tour. One of the best moments on the Spitalfied tour was in Lincoln, Nebraska. The local opener wasn't even there - they were at the bar across the street and showed up later with two people. Fall Out Boy played for Spitalfield, and Spitalfield played for Fall Out Boy. Even the sound guy had left. It was basically an empty room. It was miserable.

HURLEY: Even though we played a ton of shows in front of just the other bands, it was awesome. I've known Pete forever and always loved being in bands with him. After that tour, it was pretty much agreed that I would be in the band. I wanted to be in the band.

WENTZ: We would play literally any show in those days for free. We played Chain Reaction in Orange County with a bunch of metalcore bands. I want to say Underoath was one of them. I remember a lot of black shirts and crossed arms at those kinds of shows. STUMP: One thing that gets lost in the annals of history is Fall Out Boy, the discarded hardcore band. We played so many hardcore shows! The audiences were cool, but they were just like, 'This is OK, but we'd really rather be moshing right now.' Which was better than many of the receptions we got from pop-punk kids.

MOSTOFI: Pete made sure there was little division between the band and the audience. In hardcore, kids are encouraged to grab the mic. Pete was very conscious about making the crowd feel like friends. I saw them in Austin, Texas, in front of maybe ten kids. But it was very clear all ten of those kids felt like Pete's best friends. And they were, in a way.

MCILRITH: People started to get into social networking. That kind of thing was all new to us, and they were way ahead. They networked with their fans before any of us.

MOSTOFI: Pete shared a lot about his life online and was intimate as hell. It was a new type of scene. Pete extended the band's community as far as fiber optics let him.

ROSE: Pete was extremely driven. Looking back, I wish I had that killer instinct. During that tour; we played a show in Colorado. On the day of the show, we went to Kinko's to make flyers to hand out to college kids. Pete put ‘members of Saves The Day and Screeching Weasel’ on the flyer. He was just like, 'This will get people in.'

WENTZ: We booked a lot of our early shows through hardcore connections, and to some extent, that carries through to what Fall Out Boy shows are like today. If you come to see us play live, we're basically Slayer compared to everyone else when we play these pop radio shows. Some of that carries back to what you must do to avoid being heckled at hardcore shows. You may not like our music, but you will leave here respecting us. Not everyone is going to love you. Not everyone is going to give a shit. But you need to earn a crowd's respect. That was an important way for us to learn that.

MOSTOFI: All those dudes, except Andy, lived in this great apartment with our friend Brett Bunting, who was almost their drummer at one point. The proximity helped them gel.

STUMP: There were a lot of renegade last-minute shows where we'd just call and get added. We somehow ended up on a show with Head Automatica that way.

MCILRITH: At some point early on, they opened for Rise Against in a church basement in Downers Grove. We were doing well then; headlining that place was a big deal. Then Pete's band was coming up right behind us, and you could tell there was a lot of chatter about Fall Out Boy. I remember getting to the show, and there were many people there, many of whom I had never seen in the scene before. A lot of unfamiliar faces. A lot of people that wouldn't have normally found their way to the seedy Fireside Bowl in Chicago. These were young kids, and I was 21 then, so when I say young, I mean really young. Clearly, Fall Out Boy had tapped into something the rest of us had not. People were super excited to see them play and freaked out; there was a lot of enthusiasm at that show. After they finished, their fans bailed. They were dedicated. They wanted to see Fall Out Boy. They didn't necessarily want to see Rise Against play. That was my first clue that, 'Whoa, what Pete told me that day at Arma Angelus rehearsal is coming true. He was right.' Whatever he was doing was working.

"My Insides Are Copper, And I'd Like To Make Them Gold" - The Record Labels Come Calling, 2002

STUMP: The split EP was going to be a three-way split with 504 Plan, August Premier, and us at one point. But then the record just never happened. Brian backed out of putting it out. We asked him if we could do something else with the three songs and he didn't really seem to care. So, we started shopping the three songs as a demo. Pete ended up framing the rejection letters we got from a lot of pop-punk labels. But some were interested.

HURLEY: We wanted to be on Drive-Thru Records so bad. That was the label.

RICHARD REINES: After we started talking to them, I found the demo they had sent us in the office. I played it for my sister. We decided everything together. She liked them but wasn't as crazy about them as I was. We arranged with Pete to see them practice. We had started a new label called Rushmore. Fall Out Boy wasn't the best live band. We weren't thrilled [by the showcase]. But the songs were great. We both had to love a band to sign them, so my sister said, 'If you love them so much, let's sign them to Rushmore, not Drive Thru.'

HURLEY: We did a showcase for Richard and Stephanie Reines. They were just kind of like, 'Yeah, we have this side label thing. We'd be interested in having you on that.' I remember them saying they passed on Saves The Day and wished they would have put out Through Being Cool. But then they [basically] passed on us by offering to put us on Rushmore. We realized we could settle for that, but we knew it wasn't the right thing.

RORY FELTON: Kevin Knight had a website, TheScout, which always featured great new bands. I believe he shared the demo with us. I flew out to Chicago. Joe and Patrick picked me up at the airport. I saw them play at a VFW hall, Patrick drank an entire bottle of hot sauce on a dare at dinner, and then we all went to see the movie The Ring. I slept on the couch in their apartment, the one featured on the cover of Take This To Your Grave. Chad [Pearson], my partner, also flew out to meet with the band.

STUMP: It was a weird time to be a band because it was feast or famine. At first, no one wanted us. Then as soon as one label said, 'Maybe we'll give 'em a shot,' suddenly there's a frenzy of phone calls from record labels. We were getting our shirts printed by Victory Records. One day, we went to pick up shirts, and someone came downstairs and said, 'Um, guys? [Owner] Tony [Brummel] wants to see you.' We were like, 'Did we forget to pay an invoice?' He made us an offer on the spot. We said, 'That's awesome, but we need to think about it.' It was one of those 'now or never' kinds of things. I think we had even left the van running. It was that kind of sudden; we were overwhelmed by it.

HURLEY: They told me Tony said something like, 'You can be with the Nike of the record industry or the Keds of the record industry.'

STUMP: We'd get random calls at the apartment. 'Hey, I'm a manager with so-and-so.' I talked to some boy band manager who said, 'We think you'll be a good fit.'

TROHMAN: The idea of a manager was a ‘big-time' thing. I answered a call one day, and this guy is like, 'I'm the manager for the Butthole Surfers, and I'd really like to work with you guys.' I just said, Yeah, I really like the Butthole Surfers, but I'll have to call you back.' And I do love that band. But I just knew that wasn't the right thing.

STUMP: Not all the archetypes you always read about are true. The label guys aren't all out to get you. Some are total douchebags. But then there are a lot who are sweet and genuine. It's the same thing with managers. I really liked the Militia Group. They told us it was poor form to talk to us without a manager. They recommended Bob McLynn.

FELTON: We knew the guys at Crush from working with Acceptance and The Beautiful Mistake. We thought they'd be great for Fall Out Boy, so we sent the music to their team.

STUMP: They said Crush was their favorite management company and gave us their number. Crush's biggest band at the time was American Hi-Fi. Jonathan Daniels, the guy who started the company, sent a manager to see us. The guy was like, "This band sucks!' But Jonathan liked us and thought someone should do something with us. Bob was his youngest rookie manager. He had never managed anyone, and we had never been managed.

BOB MCLYNN: Someone else from my office who isn't with us anymore had seen them, but I hadn't seen them yet. At the time, we'd tried to manage Brand New; they went elsewhere, and I was bummed. Then we got the Fall Out Boy demo, and I was like, Wow. This sounds even better. This guy can really sing, and these songs are great.' I remember going at it hard after that whole thing. Fall Out Boy was my consolation prize. I don't know if they were talking to other managers or not, but Pete and I clicked.

TROHMAN: In addition to being really creative, Pete is really business savvy. We all have a bullshit detector these days, but Pete already had one back then. We met Bob, and we felt like this dude wouldn't fuck us over.

STUMP: We were the misfit toy that nobody else wanted. Bob really believed in us when nobody else did and when nobody believed in him. What's funny is that all the other managers at Crush were gone within a year. It was just Bob and Jonathan, and now they're partners. Bob was the weird New York Hardcore guy who scared me at the time.

TROHMAN: We felt safe with him. He's a big, hulking dude.

MCLYNN: We tried to make a deal with The Militia Group, but they wouldn't back off on a few things in the agreement. I told them those were deal breakers, opening the door to everyone else. I knew this band needed a shot to do bigger and better things.

TROHMAN: He told us not to sign with the label that recommended him to us. We thought there was something very honest about that.

MCLYNN: They paid all their dues. Those guys worked harder than any band I'd ever seen, and I was all about it. I had been in bands before and had just gotten out. I was getting out of the van just as these guys got into one. They busted their asses.

STUMP: A few labels basically said the same thing: they wanted to hear more. They weren't convinced we could write another song as good as 'Dead On Arrival.' I took that as a challenge. We returned to Sean a few months after those initial three songs, this time at Gravity Studios in Chicago. We recorded ‘Grenade Jumper' and 'Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy' in a night or two. 'Where is Your Boy' was my, 'Fine, you don't think I can write a fucking song? Here's your hit song, jerks!' But I must have pushed Pete pretty hard [arguing about the songs]. One night, as he and I drove with Joe, Pete said, 'Guys, I don't think I want to do this band anymore.' We talked about it for the rest of the ride home. I didn't want to be in the band in the first place! I was like, 'No! That's not fair! Don't leave me with this band! Don't make me kind of like this band, and then leave it! That's bullshit!' Pete didn't stay at the apartment that night. I called him at his parent's house. I told him I wasn't going to do the band without him. He was like, 'Don't break up your band over it.' I said, 'It's not my band. It's a band that you, Joe, and I started.' He was like, 'OK, I'll stick around.' And he came back with a vengeance.

WENTZ: It was maybe the first time we realized we could do these songs titles that didn't have much do with the song from the outside. Grand Theft Auto was such a big pop culture franchise. If you said the phrase back then, everyone recognized it. The play on words was about someone stealing your time in the fall. It was the earliest experimentation with that so it was a little simplistic compared to the stuff we did later. At the time, we'd tell someone the song title, and they'd say, 'You mean "Auto"'?

JOHN JANICK: I saw their name on fliers and thought it was strange. But I remembered it. Then I saw them on a flyer with one of our bands from Chicago, August Premier. I called them and asked about this band whose name I had seen on a few flyers now. They told me they were good and I should check it out. I heard an early version of a song online and instantly fell in love with it. Drive-Thru, The Militia Group, and a few majors tried to sign them. I was the odd man out. But I knew I wanted them right away.

HURLEY: Fueled By Ramen was co-owned by Vinnie [Fiorello] from Less Than Jake. It wasn't necessarily a band I grew up loving, but I had so much respect for them and what they had done and were doing.

JANICK: I randomly cold-called them at the apartment and spoke to Patrick. He told me I had to talk to Pete. I spoke to Pete later that day. We ended up talking on the phone for an hour. It was crazy. I never flew out there. I just got to know them over the phone.

MCLYNN: There were majors [interested], but I didn't want the band on a major right away. I knew they wouldn't understand the band. Rob Stevenson from Island Records knew all the indie labels were trying to sign Fall Out Boy. We did this first-ever incubator sort of deal. I also didn't want to stay on an indie forever; I felt we needed to develop and have a chance to do bigger and better things, but these indies didn't necessarily have radio staff. It was sort of the perfect scenario. Island gave us money to go on Fueled By Ramen, with whom we did a one-off. No one else would offer a one-off on an indie.

STUMP: They were the smallest of the labels involved, with the least 'gloss.' I said, 'I don't know about this, Pete.' Pete was the one who thought it was the smartest move. He pointed out that we could be a big fish in a small pond. So, we rolled the dice.

HURLEY: It was a one-record deal with Fueled By Ramen. We didn't necessarily get signed to Island, but they had the 'right of first refusal' [for the album following Take This To Your Grave]. It was an awesome deal. It was kind of unheard of, maybe, but there was a bunch of money coming from Island that we didn't have to recoup for promo type of things.

JANICK: The company was so focused on making sure we broke Fall Out Boy; any other label probably wouldn't have had that dedication. Pete and I talked for at least an hour every day. Pete and I became so close, so much so that we started Decaydance. It was his thing, but we ended up signing Panic! At The Disco, Gym Class Heroes, Cobra Starship.

GUTIERREZ: Who could predict Pete would A&R all those bands? There's no Panic! At The Disco or Gym Class Heroes without Wentz. He made them into celebrities.

"Turn This Up And I'll Tune You Out" - The Making of Take This To You Grave, 2003

The versions of "Dead on Arrival," "Saturday," and "Homesick at Space Camp" from the first sessions with Andy on drums are what appear on the album. "Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy" and "Grenade Jumper" are the demo versions recorded later in Chicago. O'Keefe recorded the music for the rest of the songs at Smart Studios once again. They knocked out the remaining songs in just nine days. Sean and Patrick snuck into Gravity Studios in the middle of the night to track vocals in the dead of winter. Patrick sang those seven songs from two to five in the morning in those sessions.

STUMP: John Janick basically said, ‘I'll buy those five songs and we'll make them part of the album, and here's some money to go record seven more.'

MCLYNN: It was a true indie deal with Fueled by Ramen. I think we got between $15,000 and $18,000 all-in to make the album. The band slept on the studio floor some nights.

STUMP: From a recording standpoint, it was amazing. It was very pro, we had Sean, all this gear, the fun studio accoutrements were there. It was competitive with anything we did afterward. But meanwhile, we're still four broke idiots.

WENTZ: We fibbed to our parents about what we were doing. I was supposed to be in school. I didn't have access to money or a credit card. I don't think any of us did.

STUMP: I don't think we slept anywhere we could shower, which was horrifying. There was a girl that Andy's girlfriend at the time went to school with who let us sleep on her floor, but we'd be there for maybe four hours at a time. It was crazy.

HURLEY: Once, Patrick thought it would be a good idea to spray this citrus bathroom spray under his arms like deodorant. It just destroyed him because it's not made for that. But it was all an awesome adventure.

WENTZ: We were so green we didn't really know how studios worked. Every day there was soda for the band. We asked, 'Could you take that soda money and buy us peanut butter, jelly, and bread?' which they did. I hear that stuff in some ways when I listen to that album.

HURLEY: Sean pushed us. He was such a perfectionist, which was awesome. I felt like, ‘This is what a real professional band does.' It was our first real studio experience.

WENTZ: Seeing the Nirvana Nevermind plaque on the wall was mind-blowing. They showed us the mic that had been used on that album.

HURLEY: The mic that Kurt Cobain used, that was pretty awesome, crazy, legendary, and cool. But we didn't get to use it.

WENTZ: They said only Shirley Manson] from Garbage could use it.

O'KEEFE: Those dudes were all straight edge at the time. It came up in conversation that I had smoked weed once a few months before. That started this joke that I was this huge stoner, which obviously I wasn't. They'd call me 'Scoobie Snacks O'Keefe' and all these things. When they turned in the art for the record, they thanked me with like ten different stoner nicknames - 'Dimebag O'Keefe' and stuff like that. The record company made Pete take like seven of them out because they said it was excessively ridiculous.

WENTZ: Sean was very helpful. He worked within the budget and took us more seriously than anyone else other than Patrick. There were no cameras around. There was no documentation. There was nothing to indicate this would be some ‘legendary' session. There are 12 songs on the album because those were all the songs we had. There was no pomp or circumstance or anything to suggest it would be an 'important’ record.

STUMP: Pete and I were starting to carve out our niches. When Pete [re-committed himself to the band], it felt like he had a list of things in his head he wanted to do right. Lyrics were on that list. He wasn't playing around anymore. I wrote the majority of the lyrics up to that point - ‘Saturday,' 'Dead on Arrival,' ‘Where's Your Boy?,’ ‘Grenade Jumper,' and ‘Homesick at Space Camp.' I was an artsy-fartsy dude who didn't want to be in a pop-punk band, so I was going really easy on the lyrics. I wasn't taking them seriously. When I look back on it, I did write some alright stuff. But I wasn't trying. Pete doesn't fuck around like that, and he does not take that kindly. When we returned to the studio, he started picking apart every word, every syllable. He started giving me [notes]. I got so exasperated at one point I was like, ‘You just write the fucking lyrics, dude. Just give me your lyrics, and I'll write around them.' Kind of angrily. So, he did. We hadn't quite figured out how to do it, though. I would write a song, scrap my lyrics, and try to fit his into where mine had been. It was exhausting. It was a rough process. It made both of us unhappy.

MCLYNN: I came from the post-hardcore scene in New York and wasn't a big fan of the pop-punk stuff happening. What struck me with these guys was the phenomenal lyrics and Patrick's insane voice. Many guys in these kinds of bands can sing alright, but Patrick was like a real singer. This guy had soul. He'd take these great lyrics Pete wrote and combine it with that soul, and that's what made their unique sound. They both put their hearts on their sleeves when they wrote together.

STUMP: We had a massive fight over 'Chicago is So Two Years Ago.' I didn't even want to record that song. I was being precious with things that were mine. Part of me thought the band wouldn't work out, and I'd go to college and do some music alone. I had a skeletal version of 'Chicago...'. I was playing it to myself in the lobby of the studio. I didn't know anyone was listening. Sean was walking by and wanted to [introduce it to the others]. I kind of lost my song. I was very precious about it. Pete didn't like some of the lyrics, so we fought. We argued over each word, one at a time. 'Tell That Mick...' was also a pretty big fight. Pete ended up throwing out all my words on that one. That was the first song where he wrote the entire set of lyrics. My only change was light that smoke' instead of ‘cigarette' because I didn't have enough syllables to say 'cigarette.' Everything else was verbatim what he handed to me. I realized I must really want to be in this band at this point if I'm willing to put up with this much fuss. The sound was always more important to me - the rhythm of the words, alliteration, syncopation - was all very exciting. Pete didn't care about any of that. He was all meaning. He didn't care how good the words sounded if they weren't amazing when you read them. Man, did we fight about that. We fought for nine days straight while not sleeping and smelling like shit. It was one long argument, but I think some of the best moments resulted from that.

WENTZ: In 'Calm Before the Storm,' Patrick wrote the line, 'There's a song on the radio that says, 'Let's Get This Party Started' which is a direct reference to Pink's 2001 song 'Get the Party Started.' 'Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today' is a line from the movie Rushmore. I thought we'd catch a little more flack for that, but even when we played it in Ireland, there was none of that. It's embraced, more like a shoutout.

STUMP: Pete and I met up on a lot of the same pop culture. He was more into '80s stuff than I was. One of the first things we talked about were Wes Anderson movies.

WENTZ: Another thing driving that song title was the knowledge that our fanbase wouldn't necessarily be familiar with Wes Anderson. It could be something that not only inspired us but something fans could also go check out. People don't ask us about that song so much now, but in that era, we'd answer and tell them to go watch Rushmore. You gotta see this movie. This line is a hilarious part of it.' Hopefully some people did. I encountered Jason Schwartzman at a party once. We didn't get to talk about the movie, but he was the sweetest human, and I was just geeking out. He told me he was writing a film with Wes Anderson about a train trip in India. I wanted to know about the writing process. He was like, 'Well, he's in New York City, I'm in LA. It's crazy because I'm on the phone all the time and my ear gets really hot.' That's the anecdote I got, and I loved it.

O'KEEFE: They're totally different people who approach making music from entirely different angles. It's cool to see them work. Pete would want a certain lyric. Patrick was focused on the phrasing. Pete would say the words were stupid and hand Patrick a revision, and Patrick would say I can't sing those the way I need to sing this. They would go through ten revisions for one song. I thought I would lose my mind with both of them, but then they would find it, and it would be fantastic. When they work together, it lights up. It takes on a life of its own. It's not always happy. There's a lot of push and pull, and each is trying to get their thing. With Take This To Your Grave, we never let anything go until all three of us were happy. Those guys were made to do this together.

WENTZ: A lot of the little things weren't a big deal, but those were things that [felt like] major decisions. I didn't want 'Where Is Your Boy' on Take This To Your Grave.

JANICK: I freaked out. I called Bob and said, 'We must put this song on the album! It's one of the biggest songs.' He agreed. We called Pete and talked about it; he was cool about it and heard us out.

WENTZ: I thought many things were humongous, and they just weren't. They didn't matter one way or another.

"Our Lawyer Made Us Change The (Album Cover)" - That Photo On Take This To Your Grave, 2003

STUMP: The band was rooted in nostalgia from early on. The '80s references were very much Pete's aesthetic. He had an idea for the cover. It ended up being his girlfriend at the time, face down on the bed, exhausted, in his bedroom. That was his bedroom in our apartment. His room was full of toys, '80s cereals. If we ended up with the Abbey Road cover of pop-punk, that original one was Sgt. Pepper's. But we couldn't legally clear any of the stuff in the photo. Darth Vader, Count Chocula…

WENTZ: There's a bunch of junk in there: a Morrissey poster, I think a Cher poster, Edward Scissorhands. We submitted it to Fueled by Ramen, and they were like, 'We can't clear any of this stuff.’ The original album cover did eventually come out on the vinyl version.

STUMP: The photo that ended up being the cover was simply a promo photo for that album cycle. We had to scramble. I was pushing the Blue Note jazz records feel. That's why the CD looks a bit like vinyl and why our names are listed on the front. I wanted a live photo on the cover. Pete liked the Blue Note idea but didn't like the live photo idea. I also made the fateful decision to have my name listed as 'Stump' rather than Stumph.

WENTZ: What we used was initially supposed to be the back cover. I remember someone in the band being pissed about it forever. Not everyone was into having our names on the cover. It was a strange thing to do at the time. But had the original cover been used, it wouldn't have been as iconic as what we ended up with. It wouldn't have been a conversation piece. That stupid futon in our house was busted in the middle. We're sitting close to each other because the futon was broken. The exposed brick wall was because it was the worst apartment ever. It makes me wonder: How many of these are accidental moments? At the time, there was nothing iconic about it. If we had a bigger budget, we probably would have ended up with a goofier cover that no one would have cared about.

STUMP: One of the things I liked about the cover was that it went along with something Pete had always said. I'm sure people will find this ironic, but Pete had always wanted to create a culture with the band where it was about all four guys and not just one guy. He had the foresight to even think about things like that. I didn't think anyone would give a fuck about our band! At the time, it was The Pete Wentz Band to most people. With that album cover, he was trying to reject that and [demonstrate] that all four of us mattered. A lot of people still don't get that, but whatever. I liked that element of the cover. It felt like a team. It felt like Voltron. It wasn't what I like to call 'the flying V photo' where the singer is squarely in the center, the most important, and everyone else is nearest the camera in order of 'importance.' The drummer would be in the very back. Maybe the DJ guy who scratches records was behind the drummer.

"You Need Him. I Could Be Him. Where Is Your Boy Tonight?" - The Dynamics of Punk Pop's Fab 4, 2003

Patrick seemed like something of the anti-frontman, never hogging the spotlight and often shrinking underneath his baseball hat. Wentz was more talkative, more out front on stage and in interviews, in a way that felt unprecedented for a bass player who wasn't also singing. In some ways, Fall Out Boy operated as a two-headed dictatorship. Wentz and Stump are in the car's front seat while Joe and Andy ride in the back.

STUMP: There is a lot of truth to that. Somebody must be in the front seat, no question. But the analogy doesn't really work for us; were more like a Swiss Army knife. You've got all these different attachments, but they are all part of the same thing. When you need one specific tool, the rest go back into the handle. That was how the band functioned and still does in many ways. Pete didn't want anyone to get screwed. Some things we've done might not have been the best business decision but were the right human decision. That was very much Pete's thing. I was 19 and very reactionary. If someone pissed me off, I'd be like, 'Screw them forever!' But Pete was very tactful. He was the business guy. Joe was active on the internet. He wouldn't stop believing in this band. He was the promotions guy. Andy was an honest instrumentalist: ‘I'm a drummer, and I'm going to be the best fucking drummer I can be.' He is very disciplined. None of us were that way aside from him. I was the dictator in the studio. I didn't know what producing was at the time or how it worked, but in retrospect, I've produced a lot of records because I'm an asshole in the studio. I'm a nice guy, but I'm not the nicest guy in the studio. It's a lot easier to know what you don't want. We carved out those roles early. We were very dependent on each other.

MCLYNN: I remember sitting in Japan with those guys. None of them were drinking then, but I was drinking plenty. It was happening there, their first time over, and all the shows were sold out. I remember looking at Pete and Patrick and telling Pete, ‘You're the luckiest guy in the world because you found this guy.' Patrick laughed. Then I turned to Patrick and said the same thing to him. Because really, they're yin and yang. They fit together so perfectly. The fact that Patrick found this guy with this vision, Pete had everything for the band laid out in his mind. Patrick, how he can sing, and what he did with Pete's lyrics - no one else could have done that. We tried it, even with the Black Cards project in 2010. We'd find these vocalists. Pete would write lyrics, and they'd try to form them into songs, but they just couldn't do it the way Patrick could. Pete has notebooks full of stuff that Patrick turns into songs. Not only can he sing like that, but how he turns those into songs is an art unto itself. It's really the combination of those two guys that make Fall Out Boy what it is. They're fortunate they found each other.

"I Could Walk This Fine Line Between Elation And Success. We All Know Which Way I'm Going To Strike The Stake Between My Chest" - Fall Out Boy Hits the Mainstream, 2003

Released on May 6, 2003, Take This To Your Grave massively connected with fans. (Fall Out Boy's Evening Out with Your Girlfriend arrived in stores less than two months earlier.) While Take This To Your Grave didn't crack the Billboard 200 upon its release, it eventually spent 30 weeks on the charts. From Under the Cork Tree debuted in the Top 10 just two years later, largely on Grave's momentum. 2007's Infinity on High bowed at #1.

WENTZ: I remember noticing it was getting insane when we would do in-stores. We'd still play anywhere. That was our deal. We liked being able to sell our stuff in the stores, too. It would turn into a riot. We played a Hollister at the mall in Schaumburg, Illinois. A lot of these stores were pretty corporate with a lot of rules, but Hollister would let us rip. Our merch guy was wearing board shorts, took this surfboard off the wall, and started crowd-surfing with it during the last song. I remember thinking things had gotten insane right at that moment.

HURLEY: When we toured with Less Than Jake, there were these samplers with two of their songs and two of ours. Giving those out was a surreal moment. To have real promotion for a record... It wasn't just an ad in a 'zine or something. It was awesome.

MCLYNN: They toured with The Reunion Show, Knockout, and Punch-line. One of their first big tours as an opening act was with MEST. There would be sold-out shows with 1,000 kids, and they would be singing along to Fall Out Boy much louder than to MEST. It was like, 'What's going on here?' It was the same deal with Less Than Jake. It really started catching fire months into the album being out. You just knew something was happening. As a headliner, they went from 500-capacity clubs to 1500 - 2000 capacity venues.

WENTZ: We always wanted to play The Metro in Chicago. It got awkward when they started asking us to play after this band or that band. There were bands we grew up with that were now smaller than us. Headlining The Metro was just wild. My parents came.

MCLYNN: There was a week on Warped Tour, and there was some beel because these guys were up-and-comers, and some of the bands that were a little more established weren't too happy. They were getting a little shit on Warped Tour that week, sort of their initiation. They were on this little, shitty stage. So many kids showed up to watch them in Detroit, and the kids rushed the stage, and it collapsed. The PA failed after like three songs. They finished with an acapella, 'Where is Your Boy,’ and the whole crowd sang along.

WENTZ: That's when every show started ending in a riot because it couldn't be contained. We ended up getting banned from a lot of venues because the entire crowd would end up onstage. It was pure energy. We'd be billed on tour as the opening band, and the promoter would tell us we had to close the show or else everyone would leave after we played. We were a good band to have that happen to because there wasn't any ego. We were just like, "Oh, that's weird.' It was just bizarre. When my parents saw it was this wid thing, they said, 'OK, yeah, maybe take a year off from college.' That year is still going on.

MCLYNN: That Warped Tour was when the band's first big magazine cover, by far, hit the stands. I give a lot of credit to Norman Wonderly and Mike Shea at Alternative Press. They saw what was happening with Fall Out Boy and were like, 'We know it's early with you guys, but we want to give you a cover.' It was the biggest thing to happen to any of us. It really helped kick it to another level. It helped stoke the fires that were burning. This is back when bands like Green Day, Blink-182, and No Doubt still sold millions of records left and right. It was a leap of faith for AP to step out on Fall Out Boy the way they did.

STUMP: That was our first big cover. It was crazy. My parents flipped out. That wasn't a small zine. It was a magazine my mom could find in a bookstore and tell her friends. It was a shocking time. It's still like that. Once the surrealism starts, it never ends. I was onstage with Taylor Swift ten years later. That statement just sounds insane. It's fucking crazy. But when I was onstage, I just fell into it. I wasn't thinking about how crazy it was until afterward. It was the same thing with the AP cover. We were so busy that it was just another one of those things we were doing that day. When we left, I was like, 'Holy fuck! We're on the cover of a magazine! One that I read! I have a subscription to that!'

HURLEY: Getting an 'In The Studio' blurb was a big deal. I remember seeing bands 'in the studio' and thinking, Man, I would love to be in that and have people care that we're in the studio.' There were more minor things, but that was our first big cover.

STUMP: One thing I remember about the photo shoot is I was asked to take off my hat. I was forced to take it off and had been wearing that hat for a while. I never wanted to be the lead singer. I always hoped to be a second guitarist with a backup singer role. I lobbied to find someone else to be the proper singer. But here I was, being the lead singer, and I fucking hated it. When I was a drummer, I was always behind something. Somehow the hat thing started. Pete gave me a hat instead of throwing it away - I think it's the one I'm wearing on the cover of Take This To Your Grave. It became like my Linus blanket. I had my hat, and I could permanently hide. You couldn't see my eyes or much of me, and I was very comfortable that way. The AP cover shoot was the first time someone asked me to remove it. My mom has a poster of that cover in her house, and every time I see it, I see the fear on my face - just trying to maintain composure while filled with terror and insecurity. ‘Why is there a camera on me?'

JANICK: We pounded the pavement every week for two years. We believed early on that something great was going to happen. As we moved to 100,000 and 200,000 albums, there were points where everything was tipping. When they were on the cover of Alternative Press. When they did Warped for five days, and the stage collapsed. We went into Christmas with the band selling 2000 to 3000 a week and in the listening stations at Hot Topic. Fueled By Ramen had never had anything like that before.

MOSTOFI: Pete and I used to joke that if he weren't straight edge, he would have likely been sent to prison or worse at some point before Fall Out Boy. Pete has a predisposition to addictive behavior and chemical dependency. This is something we talked about a lot back in the day. Straight Edge helped him avoid some of the traps of adolescence.

WENTZ: I was straight edge at the time. I don't think our band would have been so successful without that. The bands we were touring with were partying like crazy. Straight Edge helped solidify the relationship between the four of us. We were playing for the love of music, not for partying or girls or stuff like that. We liked being little maniacs running around. Hurley and I were kind of the younger brothers of the hardcore kids we were in bands with. This was an attempt to get out of that shadow a little bit. Nobody is going to compare this band to Racetraitor. You know when you don't want to do exactly what your dad or older brother does? There was a little bit of that.

"Take This To Your Grave, And I'll Take It To Mine" - The Legacy of Take This To Your Grave, 2003-2023

Take This To Your Grave represents a time before the paparazzi followed Wentz to Starbucks, before marriages and children, Disney soundtracks, and all the highs and lows of an illustrious career. The album altered the course for everyone involved with its creation. Crush Music added Miley Cyrus, Green Day, and Weezer to their roster. Fueled By Ramen signed Twenty One Pilots, Paramore, A Day To Remember, and All Time Low.

STUMP: I'm so proud of Take This To Your Grave. I had no idea how much people were going to react to it. I didn't know Fall Out Boy was that good of a band. We were this shitty post-hardcore band that decided to do a bunch of pop-punk before I went to college, and Pete went back to opening for Hatebreed. That was the plan. Somehow this record happened. To explain to people now how beautiful and accidental that record was is difficult. It seems like it had to have been planned, but no, we were that shitty band that opened for 25 Ta Life.

HURLEY: We wanted to make a record as perfect as Saves The Day's Through Being Cool. A front-to-back perfect collection of songs. That was our obsession with Take This To Your Grave. We were just trying to make a record that could be compared in any way to that record. There's just something special about when the four of us came together.

WENTZ: It blows my mind when I hear people talking about Take This To Your Grave or see people including it on lists because it was just this tiny personal thing. It was very barebones. That was all we had, and we gave everything we had to it. Maybe that's how these big iconic bands feel about those records, too. Perhaps that's how James Hetfield feels when we talk about Kill 'Em All. That album was probably the last moment many people had of having us as their band that their little brother didn't know about. I have those feelings about certain bands, too. 'This band was mine. That was the last time I could talk about them at school without anyone knowing who the fuck I was talking about.' That was the case with Take This To Your Grave.

TROHMAN: Before Save Rock N' Roll, there was a rumor that we would come back with one new song and then do a Take This To Your Grave tenth-anniversary tour. But we weren't going to do what people thought we would do. We weren't going to [wear out] our old material by just returning from the hiatus with a Take This To Your Grave tour.

WENTZ: We've been asked why we haven't done a Take This To Your Grave tour. In some ways, it's more respectful not to do that. It would feel like we were taking advantage of where that record sits, what it means to people and us.

HURLEY: When Metallica released Death Magnetic, I loved the record, but I feel like Load and Reload were better in a way, because you knew that's what they wanted to do.

TROHMAN: Some people want us to make Grave again, but I'm not 17. It would be hard to do something like that without it being contrived. Were proud of those songs. We know that’s where we came from. We know the album is an important part of our history.

STUMP: There's always going to be a Take This To Your Grave purist fan who wants that forever: But no matter what we do, we cannot give you 2003. It'll never happen again. I know the feeling, because I've lived it with my favorite bands, too. But there's a whole other chunk of our fans who have grown with us and followed this journey we're on. We were this happy accident that somehow came together. It’s tempting to plagarize yourself. But it’s way more satisfying and exciting to surprise yourself.

MCILRITH: Fall Out Boy is an important band for so many reasons. I know people don't expect the singer of Rise Against to say that, but they really are. If nothing else, they created so much dialog and conversation within not just a scene but an international scene. They were smart. They got accused of being this kiddie pop punk band, but they did smart things with their success. I say that, especially as a guy who grew up playing in the same Chicago hardcore bands that would go on and confront be-ing a part of mainstream music. Mainstream music and the mainstream world are machines that can chew your band up if you don't have your head on straight when you get into it. It's a fast-moving river, and you need to know what direction you're going in before you get into it. If you don't and you hesitate, it'll take you for a ride. Knowing those guys, they went into it with a really good idea. That's something that the hardcore instilled in all of us. Knowing where you stand on those things, we cut our teeth on the hardcore scene, and it made us ready for anything that the world could throw at us, including the giant music industry.

[miviaceleste]

A Blackrock Story: A Boy with Turquoise Eyes

Happy 12th Anniversary to Blackrock Chronicle!

This comic ended up being 47 pages long (when I first sketched it, it was only 20 pages long). Since I can only upload 30 images in a post, I had to combine 2 pages into 1 image so hopefully it's still visually fine and not annoying to scroll through!

I wrote this mini-story more than 10 years ago, so I figured it was time to finally make it into a comic (after editing the writing a lot because I became a much better writer since lol).

Be aware of the TWs, and I hope you enjoy this comic!

TW: Violence || Blood || Injuries/Scars/Burn Marks || Kidnapping || (Temporary) Death || Loss of Limb / Amputation

Thank you all for reading one of my most insane projects ever!

Now, here’s another long story:

About 8 years ago, my life became so busy that to stay on top of my studies and activities, I stopped watching a lot of YouTubers, including the Yogscast.

I’ve grown up throughout the years. I had to stop acting like a kid to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I’m still an artist today, but I haven’t drawn in this way for about 3 years to pursue my real passion. I love to draw, but I didn’t have the time or inspiration to make something grand.

About 3 months ago, I suddenly got curious about how all those YouTubers I stopped watching were doing, so I checked out their channels and watched a video or two before moving on. When I got to the Yogscast channel, on the other hand, I quickly fell in love with the new content and with everyone again.

It was insane to see how immediately my love for them came back. In 3 months, I’ve watched so many videos and streams/VODs. It’s all so comforting, funny, and uplifting. Clearly, I missed so much content in the past 8 years, but at least I don’t have to worry about running out of things to watch for a while.

What made me most happy was that despite changing a lot, I never stopped being that kid who laughed at the Yogscast’s shenanigans. It just goes to show that no matter how much the world tries to push you around, you never lose that sense of joy you had as a child.

Now, about Rythian:

Since I started watching the Yogscast in 2011, Rythian has always been my favorite. I loved his series so much, especially with how he got into character to give us an immersive experience. It was an escape for me as a kid. When difficult moments were thrown at me, I watched Rythian’s series to find a sense of comfort.

So when I started watching his and Zoey’s Blackrock series, my mind was blown. The storytelling, acting, humor, and drama of the series were so immersive and touching that my creativity exploded.

I mainly use art to express myself and my interests because I struggle to talk about it. But funny enough, Blackrock was the only interest of mine that got me to not draw, but to write. I wrote a lot of short stories about the series—even how I envisioned the series would end. I was so inspired to create all the time from this series.

And what’s crazy is that at the beginning of this summer, I found all of those written drafts and notes from when I was a kid. I kept them all for 10+ years and found a very loose (and not that good) draft of this comic and I felt really inspired to finish it.

It was roughly when I was first watching Blackrock too when I realized that I can be creative in the future. The Yogscast helped me understand that I can do whatever I want for the rest of my life. If they could do it, then why can’t I?

What’s also wonderful is that even after so many years, Rythian never stopped being my favorite. When I started watching the main channel again a few months ago, I immediately found myself rooting for him whenever he was in the group videos. I just remembered how much happiness he brought me when I was younger and it makes me so happy that I still get so much joy whenever I hear his voice.

While working on this comic, I watched all of Kirbycraft and caught up on Kirby Farm. I can’t help but smile the whole time Rythian, Briony, and Kirsty interact with one another. The dynamic of these three brings me so much laughter and comfort. A part of me is upset that I didn’t get back to watching everyone when Kirbycraft was still live, but better late than never, right?

I also originally started this comic without the intention of posting it. But then I figured, Hey, it’d be great to share it with everyone who’s also been impacted by this series and the Yogscast in general, so I made this blog to post it here. Honestly, I’m not sure when the next time I’ll be able to draw is (who knew building a career takes away a lot of your energy and time?). But I think that’s what’s so wonderful about my love for Yogscast and particularly Blackrock: I didn’t make this comic for the likes or views. It was just because I wanted to, and I’m so happy to see there are so many people on here who feel the same love for them as I do.

This series and the people who made it, along with the people who supported it and loved it and continued to love it, impacted me for the better. I learned so many years ago that I can be creative for a living, and have been working hard towards doing that since.

Happy 12th Anniversary to the Blackrock Chronicle. To Rythian and Zoey who put a smile on this kid’s face even during the toughest of times.

And to the Yogscast, thank you for being there for me when I needed you all the most and for still being here when I came back. Your ability to inspire me and make me laugh never disappeared throughout the years I was gone, and I’m ready to laugh some more.

[lunarsturniolo]

Happy New Year

“Hey babe,” he says. 

“Hi, baby,” I respond with a smile. 

His hand snakes around my waist and gently tugs me down to sit on his lap, “I missed you,” he tells me. 

“I was in the kitchen,” I tease.

Or

Matt and Y/N host a New Years Party

masterlist

“Oh my God!! Show me again,” my friend Kim asks, holding her hand out to see my wrist. 

“God, that’s so pretty,” Julian mentioned, turning my wrist slightly to get a proper view of the bracelet Matt got me for Christmas. 

The bracelet was dainty and gold, with a small chain snaking around my wrist. There was a small, circular charm that looked almost like a ring attached to the chain. Matt had gotten his favorite phrase to tell me engraved on the inside of the circle: “Let’s grow old together.” I hadn’t told the girls about that engraving and planned to keep it a secret. 

Kim lets out an adoring gasp, “And your anniversary is engraved on there?” she asks, motioning to the outside of the ring. Our anniversary date is there with two diamonds on either side of it. 

I nod, “Yeah, he really outdid himself.” 

A few minutes of nonsensical chatter pass and midnight slowly approaches. The drink in my hand has been empty for about 10 minutes now, but my mind is wandering too far even to consider refilling it. 

Madi roams into the kitchen, frantically sifting through the fridge next to me, “Y/N, babe, do you guys have my grapes?”

My eyebrows furrow, “We should, why?”

“It's this thing, apparently,” Madi says, “You’re supposed to eat 12 grapes at midnight for 12 months of good luck or something,” she finishes. 

I nod, “Did you ask any of the guys?” 

She nods, “Nick said the should be ‘where all the fruit is’” She lets out a dramatic sigh, “I don't think he knows where that is.”

With a laugh, I nudge her hip, “I know where that is,” I rummage through the fruit drawer, pulling out a bag of grapes, “Here you go.” 

“You’re the best,” She says. I smile and give her a short hug before glancing at my phone.

It’s approaching midnight, and I am yet to find Matt in the slew of people who are constantly moving in and out of the house. I say a quick goodbye to my friends before wandering into the living room to find Matt, Nick, and Chris on one of the couches, surrounded by a bunch of their friends and their partners. 

Chris catches my eye and nods for me to sit with them. With a smile of acknowledgment, I look at Matt, who is empty-handed, and step back into the kitchen to get him a Root Beer. Along with Matt’s drink, I grab myself a seltzer to sip on until midnight. 

Stepping back into the living room, I notice their circle has gained a few people, making it impossible for me to find a seat. The arm of the couch next to Matt is free, and I beeline in his direction. 

Matt barks out a laugh, “There’s no way,” he says, a look of amusement growing on his lips. 

“Yeah, I spit it out immediately. It was horrible,” Nate responds with a small laugh. 

Perching myself on the arm of the couch, I hand Matt his drink. “Are you talking about that nasty chamoy pickle?”

Nate gives me a look, “Yeah. Biggest regret of the year.”

I shoot him a smile before looking down at Matt. 

“Hey babe,” he says. 

“Hi, baby,” I respond with a smile. 

His hand snakes around my waist and gently tugs me down to sit on his lap, “I missed you,” he tells me. 

“I was in the kitchen,” I tease.

He lets out a dramatic sigh, “Yeah, that was cringe.” 

I laugh, “Yeah, horribly cringe. Get out of my sight.”

His arm tightens around my waist, and his lips make their way to my neck for a soft kiss, “Never.”

I turn my head to him before properly kissing him. We knew we wanted to host a New Year’s party, but we struggled to realize that our two separate groups of friends would be there, too. I had spent most of my time with my friends, who I rarely get a chance to see, as did Matt. 

“Having fun?” He asked me. 

I hum in response, “Yeah, I’m happy to see everyone.”

Matt nods in understanding, turning to look at Chris. Chris had his arm around his girlfriend, whispering in her ear with a devious smile on his face, “I’m so glad Chris has someone this year.” 

I turn to look at Chris, “Yeah. They’re so cute together.” 

Matt nods before pausing. He looks back at me before turning and tapping Chris on the shoulder, “You do have a bedroom here, buddy.” 

Chris’s eyes widen in amusement as his girlfriend shoves her face into his chest, “Could you hear that?” He asks. 

“No,” I reply, pretending to gag, “But I didn’t have to, you freaks.”

He barks a laugh before caressing his girlfriend's face, attempting to comfort her. 

Matt pats my ass, asking me to get up. I do, and he follows suit, standing up and readjusting his pants. He grabs my hand and tugs me into a corner that has been left unoccupied. 

His hand reaches up and brushes a stand of hair behind my ear, “I wanted you alone.” 

I feel my cheeks warm and I look down with an acute understanding. It is almost midnight and Matt wants to kiss me properly. 

“I’m glad you got me alone,” I replied with a smile. 

He hums quietly, admiring my face. I take the time to do the same, drinking in his look. Donned in a Cherry LA sweater and white pants, he looked domestic. 

Around us, we hear everyone start chanting down for 10, ready to ring in the new year. 

Matt takes both of his hands and caresses my face, his thumb rubbing rhythmic circles upon my jaw as I wait to lean in. 

5 seconds. 

Matt runs his thumb over my bottom lip, flattening it out before leaning in and meeting me in the middle. 

Midnight. 

With a soft peck to begin, Matt exited 2023. His tongue darts out shyly, prying at my lips and gaining an entrance. He moves a hand to run through my hair as both of my hands make their way to his hair as well. 

I’m consumed in his kiss, and I have nothing but a smile on my face when he lets go so we can breathe. 

“Happy New Year, beautiful.”

[maytheleiabewyou]

Analysis of the German gay film #freierfall / #freefall PART 5

For the 10th anniversary (omg! 10 years already!) (11 now because its 2024!) of one of my favorite movies I decided to make an analysis of the film and especially of the scenes between these two great actors.Max Riemelt and Hanno Koffler. Kay and Marc. Marc and Kay. I hope you like it and that above all it serves to encourage the creators to give us that long awaited second part.

HERE IT IS PART 5:

Remember where we left it? :)

Gif de everythingmaxriemelt

Are you ready? I think THIS IS one of the best parts of this review and of the whole film!!!!

[Before going to the scene... have you notice this moment when Marc stops everything just to think or "think" what he is about to do.. (all this after having gone to see Bettina and having tucked her in lovingly)]

BEFORE GOING TO ONE OF THE HOTTEST SCENES, I FEEL WE NEED TO LISTEN TO THE SONG THAT INTRODUCES US TO THE ACTION! I mean this whole part is going to be full of CAPS! HAHA #theEXCITEMENT

gO to track nº10! "The Woods: Love" aaaaaaaaaaaaaa the name!! Its just an instrumental track that introduces us to the passion!!! and makes us our hearts race? ofc!

NOWWW LETS GOOOO!! (*let the gif feast begin*)

Gif de everythingmaxriemelt

They've arranged to go for a run and it's literally pouring. Who do they think they're going to do sport? Well in a way they ARE going to practice some kind of exercise haha

This scene if you ask me makes me so embarrassed (in a good way!) because it is so clear what is going to happen between them, not only because of the clues in the last scenes, but also because the weather is not only telling us what is going to happen but SHOUTING IT OUT!

This scene is not about deceiving the viewer or faking a normal situation, nothing like that, this scene is transgressive in itself. This scene is telling us: this is what you wanted (and the protagonists too, obviously) this is what you got!

<<<<Now our minds can only think about one thing>>>>

Who is going to make the first move?

It should be Marc because Kay was the one proposing this plan, or it should be Kay because Marc already did the hardest part of going there to do what we all know is going to happen? haaaaaaaaa lets see!

I can help it to say that Kay is my favorite. Once again he being the one facilitating everything <3

YAYYY! MARC WAS THE ONE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE & KISSING KAY!

And now the next is simply p-e-r-f-e-c-t

Im adding the video of the whole scene BECAUSE IT IS NECESSARY!

But never in our wildest dreams did we imagine their first scene like this! In the middle of a storm!

lOOk please their looks!!! Again so much information without them saying anything!

Kay's look conveys desire, but also the desire to be playful with Marc. They are going to f*ck in the woods while raining and in PUBLICCCCC! Do you hear me screaming?! Marc is ENJOYING HIMSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE MOVIE! Marc is determined to have a good time, to enjoy himself and above all to show Kay what he can do!! I can't handle it!!!!!!! AMIGAS THEY ARE BOTH SMILING!

now the uncertainty begins!

Do they like it? Is Marc happy with what happened? (Because we all know that KAY IS HAPPY!) and above all, does Marc regret it?

<<awkward silence fills all the scene>>

Again, my KAY asking Marc if everything is okay.

((AND OF COURSE EVERYTHING IS OKAY)) Or at least that is what we all want to think because it is true that Marc says yes to Kay but he immediately leaves the car without kissing Kay as a goodbye or something!

Kay saying

-it has been good

+ And Marc nodding in embarrassment!

The cutest? YES.

NOW WE ENTER TO THE CUTEST SCENES OF THE MOVIE

NOW WE CAN OFFICIALLY SAY THAT THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A (CLANDESTINE) COUPLE!

End of part 5.

I want know to dedicate a whole part to some scenes that for me are everything! Those scenes deserve a bunch of posts, parts or whatever all by themselves! Im SO happy!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for all the feedback from the previous publications and to the owners of the gifs I used <3

And here you have the previous parts in case you missed them!

[soleilnmity]

MEDIA - ラジオCD「20th ANNIVERSARY ペルソナラジオ」 [JP/ENG]

Title: Persona 20th Anniversary "Persona Radio" Download Link

The Persona 20th Anniversary Radio was a weekly broadcast featuring various voice actors from the Persona series, and it then got released in CD format for the 20th anniversary!

I was always curious about Koyasu's thoughts regarding P2 and his inclusion on this CD because it was the first time he was called out for something anniversary-related, so I comissioned a translation of his radio appearance!

The translation has been done by the wonderful @currytantou so all kudos to her! The video is long and heavy so tumblr doesn't let me attach it directly uhsdfkj

Some things of note:

Koyasu likes Trinity Soul (likely because he voiced Kanzato Ryo www) and wishes others gave it a chance, not to erase it's existence.

Koyasu is a huge Megaten fan and he started with Mainline and Devil Survivor. He was also in other (old?) Atlus streams as well.

Koyasu has also played Megami Ibunroku Persona, and his favorite character there is Nanjo. He wanted to voice him.

Tatsuya's voice was always meant to be deep. Koyasu was told several times to actually deepen his voice when recording for Tatsuya.

Koyasu's favorite option for Tatsuya is Lisa. He immediately replies "Ginko" without a doubt lmao.

He loves Tatsuya very much, and complains about Atlus "removing him when they're coming up with something". He wishes he was more relevant and that he could voice him again.

Additionally, here's congratulatory messages of all members that are featured on the CD

Koyasu Takehito:

Nova Cytheeeerrrr!! Persona 2 Innocent Sin/Eternal Punishment is a work that'll be forever in my heart, so I was very happy to have been able to participate this way. I'd love to do it again (lol) That's all!

Akira Ishida:

Thank you for listening to the 20th Anniversary Persona Radio. I can only express my gratitude to all of you who have run alongside me in this 10-year marathon of “Persona 3"

I'm confident that this is content I can present to the new fans who will support us for the next 10 years. I hope you will continue to support the Persona series"

Hikaru Midorikawa:

I'm glad to have been able to participate as a guest this time. I wonder if this will be my last work related to "Persona 3"? But I had a lot of fun talking to Ishida-san♥

Namikawa Daisuke

It's been a while since we last spoke, but once we started talking, it didn't take long for us to get back to the atmosphere of that time. It was a fun time! I hope I was able to deliver it in style…

Kanda Akemi

It was fun!! It's been a while since I've had the "Persona" feeling, and I really loved it. Thank you!!

Kappei Yamaguchi

It didn't feel that it's been that long! The cast of "Persona 4" are all good friends, so I would be happy if we could do something for the 20th again♪

Fukuyama Jun

This is Jun Fukuyama, playing as P5's protagonist! I was supposed to tell you about the charms of P5, but I ended up focusing on the fun stories of each character, but that's alright!!

Aoi Yuuki

Eh!? No way Fukuyama-san is a cheater…! Eh!? To think Fukuyama-san could do something like that…! Eh!? Fukuyama-san…! It was a lot of fun to hear this side of him…(lol) Of course, we're talking about P5☆

Unfortunately, not *all* of the CD is translated (I would die x_x, these interviews are so fast paced and like 40 mins each!!!). If you want to know the 345 side of the interviews, you can trust curry for a translation~

But to compensate, this has nothing to do with the 20th anniversary, but I also comissioned an additional message that appeared in the somewhat recent 25th anniversary as well! This is one of the first instances of Maya's VA, Akiko Yajima, to have been invited to an anniversary-related event too!

I'm mostly a p2 blog so I wanted to take the opportunity to post this during Tatsuya's birthday as well. So please enjoy!

[zukadiary]

10 11 years, 10 11?? top stars: pt 6

ICYMI, I was celebrating my blog’s 10th birthday by streaming 10 of my favorite top stars and now I am celebrating its 11th anniversary because I can't get shit done to save my life :)

Profile #6: Sena Jun

Cheating a bit because while Asako is pretty distinctly top 10, this is also a 3-for-1; nibante of Asako-era, Kiriya Hiromu, is battling a few others for a spot on this list, and Ayano Kanami might be my favorite top musumeyaku of all time. Combi moe aside, a few things I love about Asako:

Look at her. She's hot.

The spectrum of otokoyaku types I appreciate is fairly broad, but if I had to pick one type to be top of every troupe for the rest of time to stop the world ending for some reason, it would be hard to beat the Asako vibe: sultry, broad-shouldered (comparatively), can do comedy and drama with equal fervor, hot. Classic otokoyaku.

Although it fizzled into utter chaos at the end, overall I loooooooove her Tsukigumi era. Great vibes, great shows.

Did I mention she's hot? (This might be my shallowest pick)

Top Asako memories:

Asako has the honor of being the star of my very first live theater experience in Japan! I saw her as Reno in Anything Goes approx. 12 hours after landing in Tokyo in 2013, painfully delirious but blissfully happy.

Stream #6 will be Ernest in Love (Moon 2005)

WHEN: Thursday, June 13 at 9am ET (That’s NY time)

WHERE: DM me for link (please don’t be shy!). If you’ve attended one of my streams before, it will be at the same link.

I do not have subs for this, but it's Ernest in Love. Read up beforehand to follow along! (and if anyone has access to a decent translation, please let me know)

[milesluna]

My Favorite Games of 2023.

Hi. Hello. Thanks ever so much for clicking on this page. Happy to have you.

First thing's first: I'm a little freak when it comes to video games. I don't feel the need to beat most games I play. From Software is one of my favorite studios in the industry and I've never finished a single one of their games. This means, fortunately, that I get to play a LOT more games than the average bear.

I've written up some blurbs about my top ten favorite games from 2023, but before that here's the list of every game I remember playing this year that left any sort of lasting impact on me (in no particular order):

Dead Space Remake Resident Evil 4 Remake F-Zero 99 Humanity Dredge Metroid Prime Remastered Anemoiaplois Alan Wake 2 Baldur’s Gate 3 LoZ Tears of the Kingdom Counter Strike 2 Hunt Showdown El Paso Elsewhere Jusant Slay the Princess| Remnant II The Finals Street FIghter 6 Lethal Company BattleBit Remastered Don’t Scream Homebody The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog Pizza Tower World of Horror Super Mario Wonder Mr. Sun’s Hatbox Fifa 23 Sea of Stars (Demo) Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update)

And the games I played that were NOT released in 2023:

Unpacking Persona 4 Golden Picross 7 The Order 1886 Shovel Knight Dig Lost Planet: Extreme Condition Spider-Man: Miles Morales Pac-Man Championship Edition DX Project Zomboid Quake LoZ The Minish Cap Drill Dozer Wario Land 4 Pokemon Pinball Resident Evil Revelations Summer of ‘58 Trackmania TwinCop We Were Here Visage Cursed Halo CE Half-Life 2 (I probably play this once per year) Witch Hunt Red Dead Redemption 2 Cyberpunk 2077 Borderlands 3 Brutal Legend Cultic Slay the Spire PUBG Rez Infinite Batman Arkham City Alan Wake Alan Wake: American Nightmare Max Payne LoZ: Majora’s Mask 3DS Metroid Prime Metroid Prime 2 Tunic Everhood Final Fantasy VII Final Fantasy VII Remake GOODBYE WORLD Yakuza: Like a Dragon Critters for Sale Dome Keeper Phasmophobia Hades Nintendo Switch Sports

Now that you understand the kind of freak you're dealing with…

Let's dive into my top ten favorite games from this objectively fucked up year.

10. El Paso Elsewhere Developed by Texas indie studio Strange Scaffold, El Paso Elsewhere is a Max Payne-clone with vampires, an opinionated narrator, and lots and lots of bullet time. As a small studio punching well above their weight class, Strange Scaffold leans into abstract, PlayStation 1 minimalism when it comes to visuals and pairs them with a soundtrack that will make your hands sweat. The vibes are here and they're ready for the end of the world. I'm personally also a big fan of everything this studio stands for.

9. Mr. Sun's Hatbox I want you to imagine Metal Gear Solid V. Now I want you to imagine that game as a 2D, level-based, slapstick platformer you can play with up to three friends. If you think that sounds stupid, you'd be right. And it's beautiful. As you build up a secret army of soldiers with various skills (and disorders), you'll start to develop *favorites*. This game constantly asks if you're willing to send those favorites on a harrowing mission and risk losing them forever… or if you'd rather send an idiot you recently captured who blinks constantly and can't kill anyone without fainting.

8. Dredge Every year I feel like I find one game that falls into the “just one more round” category, and baby… Dredge was it for 2023. As a weary fisherman in strange waters, you'll make the most out of your 12 measly hours of sunlight only for your daily voyages to inevitably pull you into the darkness of night, and night is when things get weird. Rocks emerge from the fog that you swear weren't there before, your equipment malfunctions, and you're pretty sure you just saw something in the water… something big. Despite only containing a small collection of islands, the world of Dredge manages to feel vast - perhaps vast enough to swallow you whole.

7. Resident Evil 4 Remake I was curious to see what sort of changes would be made to the timeless classic and father of modern 3rd person shooters, Resident Evil 4. I wasn't let down. RE4 Remake takes all the things that didn't age well about the original, tossed them out, and replaced them with only good things. And MORE things! It's campy, fun, and better than a game of bingo.

6. Jusant I really feel like this one didn't get the recognition it deserves. Jusant is a rock climbing game that combines the quiet contemplation of Journey with the mechanical specificity of Death Stranding. Unlike Death Standing, though, there is very little story to interrupt your flow. There are plenty of collectible bits to find for those curious to learn more about what happened before the events of the game, but the environmental storytelling does most of the heavy lifting. For me, the joy of the game comes from how it feels. Right trigger controls your right hand grip, and left trigger controls left hand grip. Plan your route, manage your stamina, and climb high above the clouds in search of answers.

5. F-Zero 99 This. Shit. Slaps. I've never been a big F-Zero guy, but this MADE me one. The “battle royale”, 99 player format is the perfect fit for the ruthless, high octane world of the game. Races last about three minutes, and friend, they are the most intense, white-knuckled three minutes of your life. The decision to make your boost meter the same as your health meter started in F-Zero 64 (I believe), and it is so much more HARROWING in this game when another player could side-swipe you mere meters from the finish line and blow you to bits. Sadly it's only playable via Switch Online, but it made me cheer, laugh, and scream enough this year to earn a spot in my top 5.

4. Alan Wake 2 Remedy makes weird games that also manage to exist in the AAA space and for that I will forever love them. Although Alan Wake 2 resembles a 3rd person shooter survival horror, I'd honestly say it's more of a narrative game than anything else. There's sidequests, there's puzzles, there's upgradeable skills, but at the end of the day the characters, world, and story are what kept me playing. If you haven't checked them out recently, you should definitely watch a story recap of the original games before diving into this sequel, but the wild swings for the fences this game takes are well worth that small price of admission. There's a god damn musical number, for Christ's sake.

3. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom I've really got nothing to say about this game that most people don't already know. It's incredible. The fact that Nintendo made a game that redefined an entire genre and then made a SEQUEL to it that ups the ante is remarkable. To be honest, I've only cleared the Rito, Zora, and Goron cities. I got a bit tired of exploring the depths and guiding Koroks to their friends, but I can't deny the sheer level of complexity and polish on display here. I saw someone on TikTok build a functioning Mecha Godzilla in this game. Good God. I've heard that the ending of this game is one of the best in the franchise, and if I'd seen it this year then it may have wound up higher on my list, but for the time being I'll continue picking up this masterpiece from time to time, chipping away at it until the day comes that I can finally smack the tits off thicc Ganondorf.

2. Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update) I know I'm gonna get shit for this, but I don't care. This year was the 25th anniversary of Half-Life and Valve released an update that made playing it (and it's online Death Match) much more accessible. I threw it on my Steam Deck out of curiosity, expecting to play for 20 minutes. I could not put it down. It is unbelievable how modern this game still feels. I simply had so much fun sprinting through the corridors of Black Mesa with a dozen weapons strapped to my back, blasting aliens and military Spec-Op chumps as a 24(?!) year old theoretical physicist.

1. Baldur's Gate III This game is fucked up, man. The sheer amount of writing in this game scares me. We can all talk about how BIG this game is, it deserves it, but the thing BG3 does better than any other role playing game I have ever experienced is actually encourage roleplaying. I've played through Act I four times now, with four different groups of friends, and it has felt fresh every time. I have seen the same events play out in so many different ways that it boggles the mind, but in every one of those play sessions I see players asking themselves “What would my lil guy do here?” rather than "what is the best thing to do here?" The game rewards players constantly for just trying shit and the D&D 5e rule set means playing like the character you said you were from the start leads to frequent Points of Inspiration. Maybe one day I'll see the end of this story (probably not), but I don't have to in order to feel a connection with BG3's world, characters, and most impressively, the characters I made myself.

Honorable Mentions for 2023

5. Dave the Diver 4. Homebody 3. Sea of Stars 2. Humanity 1. Super Mario Wonder

Top 5 Favorites NOT from 2023

5. Metroid Prime 4. Final Fantasy VII Remake 3. Cursed Halo (Halo CE Mod) 2. Red Dead Redemption 2 1. Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (3DS)

Games I didn't have a chance to play from 2023 but still want to when I find more time...

Viewfinder Venba Chants of Sennaar Thirsty Suitors Hi-Fi Rush Moonring Armored Core VI Laika Aged Through Blood Bomb Rush Cyberfunk

OKAY THANKS BYE!

[bugeyedfreaks]

It’s my 10 year anniversary on everyone’s favorite hellsite! Hooray for me! 🎉

So the whole reason I made this blog in the first place was because, despite being in the PPG fandom for the longest time, I felt kiiiind of sort of lonely. I wanted to connect with fans of the PPG who liked the series the way that I did, in a way that appreciated the weird silliness of it all while also admiring how surprisingly artistic and clever the original show was. It felt so rare to me to find those kinds of fans (since it seemed like people were always too preoccupied with other aspects of the show), and I felt like a bit of an outcast among all the fans I did talk to (like a weirdo freak, not unlike my best friends the Powerpuff Girls 😆). So I was content with being just a strange, obscure PPG blogger if only I could find, like, maybe one or two other people to talk to who “got” how I felt.

Finding my people has been a bit of a process, though. It seems crazy to say this about a blog about a cartoon, of all things, but I’ve had to endure quite a few painful, unwelcome things while having this blog (and I’m not only talking about the constant onslaught of reboots 😩). Yet for every awful moment, I’ve had so many incredibly awesome ones, and for every bad egg I’ve come across, there have been a slew of absolutely amazing, loving, precious eggs who I’m so happy to have had the privilege of talking to.

It’s been really cool to see the different ways that this show has impacted people, and to witness the vast spectrum of how people celebrate their fandom of it. I’m grateful to have shared some really meaningful moments with people: some who’ve long since disappeared from Tumblr, some who I’ve formed friendships with via Tumblr PMs, others whose names I always recognize in my notifications even if we’ve never personally spoken one on one to each other… needless to say, I’ve definitely found more than one or two people to gab about my favorite thing with. 🤣 I’m happy that you guys are here and that some of you actually get me and my weird sense of humor/understand my strange love of this show!

i could say more but i’ll leave it at that and I love u appreciate u mwah mwah mwah thanks for being here 💖 live every day the powerpuff way!!!

[caeli0306]

Hello! Welcome to the unhinged record of my writing and other obsessions

Hello! I'm Caeli. I'm 23 and a journalist by day, rabid Fourth Wing/Empyrean and Star Wars fan by night. FW got me back in to reading fantasy, and then IF left me with a crippling book hangover. I turned to writing fanfiction for the first time to try to get my mind off of it, and now I spend my days writing... and then go home at night and write some more.

My fics (all posted on AO3):

Completed:

Tales from the Airport Bathroom - Xaden/Violet spy/soldier AU almost entirely from Xaden's POV where Violet is Stab Happy and Xaden is a Simp, the meet cute is on an airplane, and Xaden gives wife guy vibes as Violet destroys her enemies. Completed, four chapters, 19.5k words. (1)(2)(3)(4)

the present, the past, and you in between - VERY angsty one shot from Xaden's POV where he reflects on his lifelong love for Violet. Completed, 1k words. (1)

Did Someone Say Shots? - One-shot College AU where Xaden thinks his feelings are unrequited but has to look out for Violet on an evening where she goes a little crazy with the Fireball shots. Completed, 10k words. (1)

Did Someone Say Roadtrip? - A short prequel to Did Someone Say Shots? based on the RQ War Games drabble prompt fics that were getting posted for the 1 year anniversary. Completed, 1.1k words. (1)

Did Someone Say Vacation? - A sequel of sorts to Did Someone Say Shots? that can be read on its own, where Xaden is vulnerable, Violet is emotional intelligent, and 🌶️. Completed, 12.7k words (1)

Violet Sorrengail's Guide to Spinning a Scandal - Xaden/Violet Modern Day AU where Violet is a political crisis consultant and Xaden is running for office. Mutual hatred turns to mutual pining, and of course, scorching sexual tension. 🌶️ eventually. Completed, 71k words. (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)

In-progress:

castles crumbling - Xaden/Violet assassin-spy/soldier AU, aka the extended version of Tales from the Airport Bathroom. In-progress, chapter 15 posted 8/26, 120.5k words and counting. (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)(9)(10)(11)(12)(13)(14)(15)

On hiatus:

Swan Song - 2nd gen fic following Xaden and Violet's second daughter, Fen, as she tries to figure out who - or what - killed her sister Nora in a world where Tyrrendor is independent and the venin have been defeated for 25 years. Featuring the fan favorite Aidan Matthias, Rhiannon's adopted son with Tara, a brand new squad, and a squad leader with a very familiar name. Chapter 13 posted 4/14, 72k words and counting, on hiatus indefinitely. (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)(9)(10)(11)(12)(13)

Addendum - Companion piece for Swan Song. A series of one-shots expanding on the background of my Swan Song fic and giving perspective from different characters' POV's, especially Nora's. Chapter 3 posted 3/5, 4.6k words and counting, updated sporadically depending on story needs. (1)(2)(3)

Things to know:

Update Schedule:

I don't have one! Like I mentioned in my intro, I am a journalist by day, which means I already do a lot of writing on a daily basis. I love it, but that also means that during busy news cycles I might not have the time or the desire to write. I do this for fun and because I love sharing the worlds in my head with other people, but my first priority will always be myself. If I haven't updated in a week or two, that doesn't mean they'll never be updated! I will always put a note on my Tumblr if I'm putting something on hiatus, along with an estimate for when I plan to start updating again.

What I post about

In order to keep myself accountable, I post frequent updates on my writing progress here. As I said above, I write these stories because I love them, but also because I love sharing them. This helps me stay on track, while also letting people know the general progress of the next chapter.

How long will castles crumbling be?

TBD! Tales from the Airport Bathroom was no plan, just vibes. castles crumbling is the extended version, so it will obviously be longer. While I do have a general plan for this here extended version, I don't have a chapter-by-chapter outline the same way I do with Swan Song. This is partially because I'm still going back and forth on how parts of this story will go, but also because I want to try writing in a bit of a less structured way than I have been doing. I can't imagine it will be shorter than 25 chapters, but honestly, who knows? I'll update this when I have a better idea.

When will you update Addendum again? When should I read the different Addendum chapters?

I created Addendum because I wanted to give people insight into Nora without interrupting the flow of Swan Song. I expanded this concept by adding in a Violet POV chapter as well. These provide context to certain interactions, foreshadow future events, or otherwise flesh out the world in which Fen and the other characters inhabit. In short, it will be updated as needed.

Nora's First Addendum - Read after Chapter 4 of Swan Song

Nora's Second Addendum - Read after Chapter 7 of Swan Song

Violet's First Addendum - Read after Chapter 9 of Swan Song

Lastly, I love hearing from people who read my fics. Feel free to message me whenever, whether its to provide constructive criticism, ask a question, offer up a writing prompt, or just to say hi!

[msnanu]

Life Twist 10 | JJK

⏤ banner by the talented and sweet: @archivedkookie ❣

⏤summary ❧ After an enormous loss in your life and breaking a long relationship with your now ex boyfriend, you decided you needed a life twist. So you move into a new country to try restart your life and seek for your happiness. What you weren’t expecting was someone like Jungkook entering into your life as soon as you got to Seoul.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ jungkook x female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, 4 years age gap (reader is JK’s noona)

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ❧ 8.5K+

⏤ author’s note ❧ Angst is here 😔 I hate writing angsty chapters because I feel every emotion written on it honestly. Hope you enjoy reading it!! Please, let me know your thoughts 🙂 your opinions are really valuable for me 🙆

It had been a very long week for Jungkook. Spending most of it prepping the presentation of the new videogame design for his boss, a videogame that it's expected to be one of the biggest in the industry this year.

On the other hand, you had been holding things down at the office - you are sure that you have never been this often at the office since you moved to Seoul -, these last few days you were busy onboarding new employees since you were in the process of starting the supervision of new financial markets in the company therefore more responsibilities and tasks were being added to the team under your supervision.

The only time you'd had to spend with Jungkook was in the night when you'd crawl into bed and after he got cleaned up from working until late hours locked in his office like a caveman. He convinced you to stay this week at his place, that way he'd be able to at least sleep next to you every night. You'd kiss him dreamily, wrap him up safe in your warm arms and fall asleep.

By all rights, you should have been exhausted. You should have been ordering takeout and settling in on the couch to read the entire internet on your phone, your brain totally zombified. Instead, now that work was done for the night, you found yourself very ready to play.

You heard JK come in and drop his shoes in the rack before heading to the fridge for a beer. "Hi, honeeeey, I'm home" he called in the direction of the bedroom, a teasing note in his voice.

You took a little time putting on the final touches, so that when you emerged from behind the door, he had already lost his glasses, rolled up his sleeves and loosened his tie.

Today he had his final presentation, and you already knew that it went beyond great because he texted you earlier letting you know that his boss loved his design from start to end. You weren’t even surprised because he had showed you his designs asking for an “outside” opinion and even if you’re not familiarized that much into the videogame world, you were mesmerized by his talent and he made you feel so proud of him, you just knew his boss had to love it. And what a better way to end this long day than celebrating your 10th month anniversary?

When you finally got out of the bedroom, he was sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, his sweating beer bottle on the table. He looked adorably rumpled and you wasted no more time crossing the room.

"Hey, my favorite designer" you said between kisses. "Happy 10th month anniversary"

His doe eyes looked at you from head to toes, gawking at the sight in front of him. "God, you look so hot, baby" he says while biting his lip and then grabs you from your waist and pulls you in for another deep kiss "Happy 10th month anniversary indeed"

He then hands you a beautiful Jasmine bouquet "I got you your favorites, gorgeous"

"Thank you, baby. I love them" you say giving him a little peck on his lips then stopping for a second "And I love you so much" while smiling at him fondly.

"I love you more, baby"

"There's no way, you know that already"

You both laugh and you immediately change the subject asking, "How was your day?"

"Please" he begged, kissing you again. "Talk to me about anything else, I think I had enough of my work this week"

You smiled and perched yourself on one of his thighs, your arm wrapping around his shoulders as your mouth met his for a deeper, longer kiss that left you breathless.

"Mmmmh" he said, nuzzling his face into your neck. "You, Ms. Y/L/N, are a stunning conversationalist"

"And you, Mr. Jeon, are an incurable smart ass" you answered, pressing your lips lovingly against his hair.

"You like that about me"

"Maybe" you admitted, a little breathily, distracted by what his mouth was doing on your skin. His hand found your knee, slipping just the tiniest bit under the hem of your skirt and you shivered.

His voice sounded slightly surprised and very, very interested as he asked, "Is this silk, baby?"

You wore tights sometimes but rarely pantyhose, so silk stockings were definitely something special. You made a little noise of confirmation and bit your lip as his hand inched up higher, slowly, slowly, until his fingertips brushed the bare skin of your thigh.

"Y/N" he said, his voice all raw desire, his fingers tracing slow circles, and you felt heat rush to your core.

All at once, he was in motion, standing you up and clutching you to him, kissing you intensely and intently as his hands untucked your shirt. You unbuttoned a few of his buttons and helped with some of your own and it seemed like nothing would be fast enough, but somehow both of your shirts were off and Jungkook's palms were running over the skin of your back and you were digging your fingers into his bare shoulders and all the while you were kissing, kissing, kissing.

Eventually, you had to breathe, gasping against his neck as he tugged down the zipper of your skirt and let it fall to the floor. He supported you as you stepped out of the pool of fabric and immediately got to his knees. He tilted his face up to you with a wolfish grin as he put his hands around your hips, tracing the outline of your silky lingerie.

You giggled a little as he trailed his fingers over and under the straps of your garter belt, following them down to the tops of your stockings.

"I just realized I'm wearing red," you said as his lips touched your lower belly, “and black,” you added as his fingers whispered over your knees, "like your su—" You lost your words in a moan as his hands came together to massage one of your calves. He smiled, his lip piercing rasping over you, as his fingers worked their way down to your ankle and skimmed back up lightly, both of you enjoying the whispery sensation. 

"Sounds very tasteful" he said amusedly as he repeated his ministrations on your other calf. 

You had learned very quickly that letting Jungkook feel his way led to nothing but good things for you. For you both. You were mentally adding to your list of erogenous zones as his warm hands caressed the backs of your knees. He was pressing open-mouthed kisses against your stomach and inching lower as his hands traveled upward over your thighs.

When his fingers bit into the curve of your ass, his tongue moving thick and slow against the slippery fabric between your legs, you swayed, unsteady with desire, clinging to him as best you could.

He was immediately back on his feet, holding you close. "You're a goddess," he whispered into your ear, and you flushed at the memory it surfaced as he kissed you. You moved your hands over his back, down to his delectable ass, the firm feel of him stoking the heat inside even higher, and you reached for his belt, unbuckling, unbuttoning, unzipping.

He finished the job of stripping off his pants and then he was sliding around behind you, and you were putting your hands out to brace against the table. His face was in your hair as he curved his body against your back, bringing his hands around your hips and up over your stomach until he was cupping your breasts.

He worked open the front clasp of your bra and you bit your lip as his fingertips traced over your nipples. You ground back against him and felt a rush of satisfaction when he groaned in pleasure. You tilted your head, letting your hair cascade to one side so he could have proper access to your neck, and he didn't disappoint, his tongue and lips and teeth giving you exactly what you wanted, his hands massaging your breasts and oh pinching your nipples with just the right amount of pressure.

Your hips were still swirling against him, locked in a rhythm you couldn't quite control, and then one of his hands was dipping into your panties and his fingers were sliding wetly, circling your delicious clit. And, God, it took so little time before you were cumming, hard and loud and so, so good. It would almost be embarrassing if you hadn't lost your self-consciousness about the reactions Jungkook could coax from your body long ago.

So, when he slid his fingers inside of you, you moved shamelessly against them, and when he circled your clit again, his pace ridiculously perfect, you let yourself fly over the edge once more, your mouth open in a silent cry, leaning hard against the table.

You tried to catch your breath and couldn't help a laugh. "This was supposed to be special for you" you said, straightening up and turning to face him once your legs were beginning to work again.

He breathed out an amused little huff, raising his eyebrows as he licked his lips. “And is it ever?”

You shook your head at him, smiling. You lifted his hand to your mouth and kissed his top knuckles, your tongue darting out to taste yourself on his skin, swirling around his fingertips while looking him straight in the eyes. He was breathing heavy. “What do you want, baby?” you asked hoarsely.

“Only to make you happy” he whispered. Your heart skipped a beat. Fuck, you love him so much. As if he hadn’t already. In so many ways.

“Well, baby” you said, keeping his hand in yours as you walked to the bedroom, “the only thing that could make me happier is to make you happy."

You pulled his soft Calvin Klein's boxer briefs down and ran your hands over him until he was making delicious little groans. You made him lie back on the bed and you straddled him, after discarding both the bra that was still hanging uselessly from your shoulders and your underwear for good measure. — Honestly you were very grateful to your internet research for advising you to wear them over the garter — because damn you did not want to be fumbling with that right now. 

You leaned down to kiss him, cocooning you both in the curtain of your hair, enjoying the way he smiled against your lips. JK was always give give give — it could be difficult to get him to ask for anything for himself. And with the experience that you gained with him over the last few months you could easily guess, but you wanted to encourage him to say it sometimes.

You worked your way along his jaw, scraped your teeth over his earlobe and sucked it into your mouth as he sighed. You kissed his neck and whispered, "Tell me what you want, Kook"

And apparently, you had made him just a little desperate, because this time his response was immediate.

"To be inside you" he murmured, running his hands down your thighs, "while you're wearing this" A fresh wave of heat rushed to your belly. Good God, he could easily make you cum just with his words, he makes you go crazy in a matter of seconds. 

"Now we're getting somewhere" you smiled.

You rocked back to sit up, bracing your hands on his chest as you moved your hips over him, letting him feel the slick heat of you against him. He pushed up to increase the friction and you hummed with pleasure.

When you thought you'd made him wait long enough, you let him steady you as you guided him inside, slowly, inch by inch. Your breath caught at the feel of him — and you couldn’t deny there was something especially hot about being a little dressed up for him, too.

You were sitting still on top of him, just enjoying him deep inside, and it was driving him slightly wild, his breathing full of hitches, his tongue wetting the corner of his mouth, his hands sliding down from your hips to tug playfully at your garter straps.

Finally, even you couldn't take it anymore, and you began to move, spurred on by the throaty sounds he was making, until you were matching the rhythm of the chorus in your head. Kook Kook Kook. You loved watching his face, seeing the effect you had on him as his composure slipped, but your eyes slid closed as you began building toward a peak. He felt so damn good, and he was touching you just right and it was just — it was just too goddamn much, and the world went white-hot and starry with bliss.

And then he was flipping you over carefully so he could fuck you hard into the mattress and you thrilled, wrapping your legs around him, running your silky stockings over his skin, digging into his back with your fingernails until he was cumming, too, gorgeous, and gruff and sexy as hell.

“Fuck, that was amazing” he said falling by your side and peppering your shoulder and neck with his kisses.

“As always” you said smiling at him, you felt as if you were high.

“I love you so much, baby”

“I love you even more, Kook” you said before both of you, exhausted, entered into dream land.

Sunlight was creeping around the curtains.

You blinked your eyes to clear them and saw Jungkook sleeping on his side next to you, facing away. You thought the little nap you'd snuck yesterday in would have been enough to allow you to stay up all night — playing all night long with Jungkook was your favorite activity and of course by ‘playing’ you mean, fucking —, but the exhaustion must've finally caught up to you and by the looks of it, it also had hit him too.

You felt a little guilty when you realized you had been completely hogging the blankets. JK was covered only by the sheet, and it had slipped down low enough to reveal not only the sleek muscles of his back but the beginnings of the swell of his ass.

And, damn, he was breathtaking.

Before Jungkook, you had never really understood just how sublime the physical could be. You had been in good shape throughout your life, you knew there was some joy in training your body, working up a sweat, making the shot. You'd never considered yourself prudish. But JK took things to a whole different level.

And it wasn't just his body, though it was the most beautiful you'd ever seen, of any gender. The sight of him made you understand why sculptors chiseled monuments in marble — that ass needed to be preserved for future generations. Not that it would ever compare to the real thing.

It was the way he moved that got to you the most. Always had. The way his tattooed hands moved, the way his tongue slid over his lips. The glide of his muscles as he punched and kicked and jumped whenever he was boxing or training. The way they flexed and stretched under your hands as you made love.

And, damn, now you really wanted to touch him. But you knew he was drained from all the work he had put on his presentation and finally he was done with it, he desperately needed rest after the week he'd had.

With a sigh of reluctant determination, you rolled over to face the other direction, burrowing down into the covers and trying to calm yourself down.

All too soon, though, the bed was moving as JK shifted and rolled over. A tiny smile turned up the corners of your lips as his welcome warmth pressed against your back.

"Your impure thoughts are making it a little hard to sleep, baby" he whispered in your ear, his voice drowsy. His hand started a lazy journey, finding your body bare beneath your t-shirt — well, actually, his oversized t-shirt that you’ve declared as yours a few months ago —, his fingers splaying wide over your stomach.

"You're a mind reader now, too?" you asked. You were impressed at how smoothly your voice came out, given how your body was responding so ardently to his touch. You arched back and felt him hard against your backside — Fuck, he’s gonna be the dead of me —. You clearly weren't the only one entertaining impure thoughts.

"I have my ways" he said smugly, his hand continuing to roam, his fingers finally sliding down and into the wetness between your thighs. You inhaled sharply, your eyes closing and your toes curling.

It was the way he moved that always got to you the most.

Once he had you practically whimpering, he murmured, "What do you want, baby?"

"You" you panted. "Just...you."

He let out a groan that was almost a growl and adjusted both of your positions so that he could slip inside of you. You moved together in a way that was unhurried and rich with sensation, the sun warm and the sheets slippery around you.

Both your heart and your body were full of him, and when you came, it was a gentle hum, a long slow wave that made you smile. Jungkook gripped you tightly as he followed.

“Just so you know, you can have what you want at any time” he said into your hair as he caught his breath.

“Be careful, Jeon. I’ll hold you to that”

He laughed. “Sounds like we’re both going to get what we want, then baby”

You wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Hey Y/N. Haven’t seen you in a while” you hear a familiar voice from behind you while you were busy starting your warmup exercises.

“Oh! Hi Ethan” you say once you spot him near you “Yeah, work has been kicking my ass lately, so I wasn’t able to make time to come to the gym”

“Sorry to hear that” he says offering you a smile “So, I take it now things are calmer at your job?”

“Yeah, thank God it is quite calmer, I think I’ll be able to be normal for a few months” you say chuckling “There’s always some periods where it gets crazy but I’m a little used to it by now” you explain yourself while Ethan hears you carefully.

He nods at you and say “I haven’t seen your boyfriend either these past weeks”

He never mentioned Jungkook before. That’s weird. Is he trying to subliminally ask if you are still with JK? Though Ethan never made a move on you – despite what Jungkook might say – you’re careful enough to not give him any type of hope, you maintain a short conversation from time to time and continue with your workout routine. That’s all. You don’t want to create any confusion here and you made clear that you have a boyfriend and so did Jungkook when he kissed you in front of Ethan.

“He’s been pretty busy with work too so he has been working out at his place lately, but he should be here in a few minutes probably”

 “Oh, cool”

Are you sensing disappointment on his tone? Okay, this is starting to get a little uncomfortable, you should end the conversation now.

“Um, I think I’ll start with the treadmill today. It was nice talking to you, Ethan” you say and walk over to the treadmills area after waving politely at Ethan who responded a simple “Sure, see you Y/N” while smiling at you.

Just when you were about to start your exercise, Jungkook arrived with furrowed eyebrows after seeing the little interaction between Ethan and you.

That guy is always near you. Why does he have to be always around? - he thinks to himself -.

Once you spot JK coming your way, your face brightens, and you almost run towards him. You put your arms around his neck and kiss him deeply.

He hums in delight “Mmmh, someone missed me”

“I did” you look at him with puppy eyes and ask while pouting “Did you not miss me?”

“I would have to be damn crazy to not miss you, gorgeous”

You start giggling at his words. Butterflies setting free on your belly as usual.

“Though, I see I’m not the only one that missed you” he says with a certain tone that you don’t really like.

“What do you mean?” you ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“Ethan”

“Jungkook we’ve been through this a hundred times. He just came up to me to say hi and we had a small talk, nothing important”

“Come on, noona. You really can’t be that naive”

“I’m not naive” you cross your arms and Jungkook already gulps knowing that he might have said the wrong thing, as usual his impulsiveness winning over him. “We just talked, and he didn’t say anything out of line, like every other time that we talked. Could you please trust me? I don’t want to have this talk over and over”

“I trust you, baby. I’m sorry. I love you, you know that, right?”

You nod and respond “I love you too” while he grabs you by the waist and gives you a little peck on the lips.

A few minutes later and not too far from where you were exercising, you didn’t even realize that Ethan couldn’t get his eyes off you. Well, is not like you could see him from the treadmill area, there was plenty gym equipment between you two, and you were totally absorbed having a talk with your boyfriend about how both of your days went.

“God, she wants you so bad” suddenly a feminine voice wakes up Ethan from his trance.

“Huh?” he says and as soon as he sees the source of the voice he continues “Oh. It’s you. I thought you were frequenting another gym”

“I do, depending on the location that my dad is currently working. You know the drill” says Lina before continuing “Anyways, as I was telling you before, Y/N wants you, Ethan”

“How the hell would you know?”

“I know her. I’m a friend of hers”

“You are? I never saw you talking to her”

“I haven’t seen Y/N in a while, but I know her enough. I can give you some advice to get her to be all yours” says Lina smiling and putting the best of her actings “Though I don’t think you have to work a lot for that, she just likes to play hard to get, if you know what I mean?”

“She does? She didn’t strike me as that kind of girl. Plus, she has a boyfriend” he says pointing towards Jungkook that’s right beside you.

“Please, since when you’re the jealous type?”

“You’re right about that, if she doesn’t care I really don’t give a fuck about him” confesses Ethan “And she’s so fine, I can’t wait to fuck her”.

“Trust me, I know exactly what you have to do to accomplish that” says Lina with a mischievous smile.

Meanwhile, Jungkook and you were in your little world, without imagining that only a few meters away, Lina was planning how to wreck you both apart.

Is your love for each other strong enough to survive the tsunami that Lina was about to unleash upon yourselves?

Emma had chosen Aria, her sister, a college friend, and you to be her bridesmaids. Her sister being the maid of honor.

Joey had chosen Namjoon, his brother, Jungkook and Hobi to be his groomsmen. Namjoon being his best man. You were happy that Jungkook was one of the groomsmen, he’ll be your partner in crime at the wedding too.

You find yourself salivating every time you imagine him on whatever the suit is for the occasion. Emma told you she was in love of the suits she chose for the groomsmen and that they all were going to look like proper models. Though, Jungkook looks like a model even when he’s just wearing simple t-shirt and sweatpants.

You kept thinking to yourself that even if you haven’t known each other for ages, Emma and Aria had become one of your closest friends in these past months, you would see each other at least once a week to catch up on what’s going on with your lives and you would also be super active on your group chat sharing memes and stupid news that you saw on the internet that made you all laugh.

Today was an important day for all of you, especially for Emma. You had a fitting of Emma’s wedding dress. It almost has her in tears.

“It’s so beautiful” she says, standing at the pedestal and staring at her reflection in the mirror. Tears prick the backs of her eyes as she takes in the entire dress. It sits perfectly on her body, comfortable and not restrictive in the slightest, which she is thankful for.

It’s a blush pink color, the upper bodice sits flush against her body, sewn with hand embroidered flowers all over it. The flowers flow down to the skirt of the dress, which flares out from her upper hips. There’s intricate embroidery along the bottom of the dress as well that just brings the entire thing together.

Emma is absolutely in love with it.

“Wow, what a beautiful bride!” you exclaim as you exit your own changing room.

Emma catches your gaze in the mirrors that she stands in front of. “Oh my God, Y/N! You look fantastic!”

You grin and gesture to the aubergine-colored dress you’re wearing. “This old thing?” you tease her for a moment. “I’m glad it’s something that looks this good and is comfy too. I’d never forgive you if you put me in something as ridiculous as a Princess Leia inspired dress”

Emma rolls her eyes affectionately and chuckles. “I’d never do that to you, I can’t believe that your last time being a bridesmaid was in a Star Wars themed wedding, God I would have paid to see the photos of that wedding” you both laugh like idiots and Emma continues “Besides, all of the bridesmaids are matching”

“All jokes aside, I really love the choice you did with the bridesmaid dresses, and your dress is just stunning, Emma”

“Stop it! Lately I’ve been so emotional over the wedding, I’ll start crying if you keep talking”

 “I’m just stating the truth, sweetie”

Emma smiles at you and then she says “I don’t know why but I have this feeling that you’ll be the next one standing over this pedestal trying on wedding dresses”

You choke on your own saliva while Emma snickers at your nervous behavior “Where’s the champagne? I need a drink” you say, looking around, acting like she didn’t say nothing — not that you didn’t think on going down that road with Jungkook, but it’s still a pretty early stage of your relationship — “And where’s Aria? I thought she’d be in her dress by now.”

“It was still too big on her” Emma replies, turning her gaze back to her reflection. She can’t stop touching the dress. It’s just wonderful. “So, she’s getting it altered with the tailor in the other room.”

“More champagne, ladies?” Arin, the shop assistant asks. She’s carrying a tray with three champagne glasses on it.

“Leave the bottle, please” you say with a grin. Arin nods and sets the tray down. She returns a moment later with the bottle and sets it down on the tray, too. You chug one glass and refill it before bringing a fresh one over to Emma.

“Well. What do you think?” she asks, accepting the glass from you. “Am I ready to get married?”

“I’d say so, yeah” you reply. “You look fit as fuck, sweetie I’ve to say it. Like a princess, too.”

Emma beams. “That was the goal”

“I have to pee, the champagne is doing its effect pretty quickly, back in a few” you say chuckling. You disappear, leaving Emma standing on the little platform in front of the mirror.

She bites her lip, turning her body from side to side as she takes in the dress yet again. She feels like her entire relationship with Joey has been leading up to this very moment. And she can’t wait.

Soon, she will legally be Joey’s wife. That prospect excites her so much. She’s absolutely giddy at the thought.

They’re getting married soon and there are still a lot of things left to do before the wedding can take place which all of the bridesmaids are helping as much as possible, including you.

One of those things left to do is getting Aria’s bridesmaid dress altered properly so that she can wear it.

Emma turns as she catches sight of Aria in the reflection of the mirror. She grins when Aria stops short and just gapes at her.

“Emma” she breathes. “Holy fuck!”

Emma beams once again. “I know, right?”

“Joey is going to die when he sees you” Aria says. “God, you look like a fairy tale princess.”

Emma can’t stop smiling. “I never want to take this dress off”

“I’m not surprised. You look amazing.”

“Thank you” Emma says. “You look fantastic, too. I’m so glad that your dress finally fits you!”

Aria gives her a small smile. “It’s not my fault I don’t have hips, or tits, and no bum. It hung on me like a potato sack for ages, but it finally fits”

Emma steps down off the platform and closes the distance between them. “You look beautiful. I’m so glad we chose two shades of purple to have the bridesmaids in. Because this lilac-color really brings out your eyes”

Aria ducks her head, blushing.

“Holy fuck!” you exclaim as you appear.

“Tell me how pretty I am” says Aria

“Ari, you know that you look spectacular” you say.

Emma is so happy with all the dresses; they definitely are the ones. “Good.” She then lets out a huge sigh. “I guess I had better take this off then. Next week my sister and Andy will be in Seoul, so they’ll be able to try out the dresses too”.

Andy is Emma’s college friend, both Emma’s sister and Andy live in London — where Emma and Joey are originally from — so, there’s a few maid of honor tasks that both Aria and you have been fulfilling in order for the wedding to come up perfectly because it was almost impossible for her sister to come earlier to Seoul and handle everything by herself.

“Such a hardship” Aria teases.

“For that you get no champagne” Emma says, poking her tongue out at her friend. She grabs her glass and has a long sip, keeping her gaze on you and Aria the entire time. “Wow, you really needed that drink, don’t you?” Aria teases once again.

“Getting married is stressful as fuck, I always feel like a need a drink” and you all laugh in unison.

Once you’re all out of the dresses and are in your everyday clothes again, Emma feels decidedly less like a princess, and more like someone who is on the verge of being very tipsy if she isn’t careful.

She isn’t careful. She has another glass of champagne just because she can.

“I love you both so much” Emma says when you stop on the floor of your apartment. Emma leans heavily on the wall next to your front door and pats at your arm. “Thank you for letting me keep my dress here. I don’t want Joey to see it before the big day”

“Of course, sweetie” you say as you unlock the door. “That’s what friends are for.”

“You guys are the besht. Besht. Besht. Beshtest?” she furrows her brow, confused.

“You’re so drunk” you say, sounding amused. “This is great”

“I am not” Emma protests. She sways a little on the spot as she pushes off the wall. “But I do need to sit down”

You lead Emma into your flat with the help of Aria, holding her hand the entire time until Emma is sitting down on your sofa. She pats at the soft cushions and smiles.

“How much did you have to drink?” Aria asks snickering at her friend. She presses a glass of water into Emma’s hand and orders her to drink.

Emma holds up three fingers. Then the other two. And giggles. She sips at her water, trying her very hardest not to dribble, or to spill any on herself. Or the sofa. Which is so soft. How has she not noticed how soft this sofa is before?

“Yes, we get it, you like my sofa” you say. Emma looks up at you, confused. “You said that out loud” you explain to your drunk friend.

“Oops” Emma giggles. She puts her glass down on the coffee table with as much care as she can.

“Get some rest, Emma” you say, patting Emma’s hand. Emma pats your hand, too. That seems like fun. — Your hands are surprisingly soft, thinks Emma to herself— “Your hands feel like porcelain, Y/N” she says out of nowhere.

“That’s your own hand you’re patting, Emma” you say, showing Emma your own hands. “That champagne must’ve had more alcohol in it than I thought.”

Emma nods and tips over on the sofa, giggling as its softness touches her cheek. In a few minutes she’s snoring, and you and Aria can’t help but to laugh.

You prepare coffee for yourselves and sit over your balcony so Emma can sleep quietly, and you both could have a nice chit chat meanwhile.

“So, how was the celebration of the 10th month anniversary?” asks Aria once you hand her the mug.

“Oh, perfect, spectacular, marvelous. And so, so hot” you beam at the memory of that amazing night last week with your boyfriend.

“I mean, when you sent us the picture of the lingerie you bought for the occasion it was pretty damn hard not to think it was going to be a steamy night” she said chuckling.

“It was amazing, though we were so tired that we didn’t last that long” you giggle “But we did have fun for a few hours”

“A few hours? What is supposed to mean ‘last long’ for you two? God you two must be beasts on the bed”

“Actually, he’s the beast but he’s so fucking hot that it makes impossible not to want to fuck him all night long”

“Oh my God, Y/N. You’re salivating, stop it!”

“Sorry, it seems like I do that a lot. Chris always scolds me for drooling over Jungkook”

Aria giggles. “Talking about Chris, how is he doing with…? Irene was it her name?”

You nod at her and say “He’s happy, I’ve met her a few times at Chris’s place and she’s really sweet honestly. I think you’ll love her when you meet her”

“I’m so happy for him. But I really want to meet her, I’m curious finally someone snatched Chris’s heart, that’s not an easy task”

You smile thinking about your best friend and remembering the day when he told you that he had asked Irene to be his girlfriend and that she had said yes. He was so excited, he looked like a little kid.

“Not an easy task at all. But I can see a mile away that she loves him a lot and seeing him this happy it’s comforting, he deserves someone like her. I’m sure you’ll meet her at the wedding. Knowing Chris, he’s just taking things slow with her, that’s why you all haven’t met her yet”

“You know, you’re such a good friend. I always meant to tell you this, the way you care about Chris and all of us — not only JK —, you irradiate so much love to the ones around you, Y/N”

“Jeez, are you trying to get me emotional?” you say feeling your heart getting too warm to the point that your eyes might start watering. “I think Emma’s sensibility is getting contagious”

Aria smiles at you and says “It’s the truth, sweetie”

“Thank you but you give me too much credit. You have been all so amazing with me since the very beginning, me caring about all of you this much is just me trying to return some of the love you all have been showering me with”

She smiles at you fondly and you engulf in a tight hug until you hear a “Hey – I want a hug too” coming from your sofa and you both laugh at Emma’s drunk ass.

You were almost done getting ready to go over to JK’s apartment when your doorbell rang, you had texted him a few minutes ago letting him know that you’re on your way.

Once you open the door, your eyebrows furrow at the sight in front of you. Ethan.

He doesn’t even give you time to ask him how the hell is he at your doorstep when you never gave him your address. His strong arms pulled you towards his body and his hands quickly cupped your face crashing his lips on yours.

Your eyes widened. You didn’t understand what is happening right now. Has he lost his mind? You react pretty fast despite your initial shock and pull him away from you. His arms go to your waist, holding you close to him, and you try to take his hands off you but fail miserably.

“What the fuck is your problem?” you almost scream while cleaning any trace of his saliva out of your lips with the back of your hand.

“I was told you liked to play hard to get. Don’t worry I can’t handle you, doll”

“Doll? Are you crazy, Ethan? I’m not playing a- “

You get shut up by his lips on yours once again. He’s touching your body and you feel disgusted. He’s clearly stronger than you and you’re scared what he might do because this is not the innocent and shy guy you used to talk at the gym, it’s like he’s an entirely different person.

You somehow manage to push him away and you look around trying to grab something to hit him and take him out of your apartment, there’s nothing you could possible grab quickly so as soon as you see him taking steps closer to you again, you gather all your strength and punch his face with a left jab – just like Jungkook had taught you when you told him you were curious about boxing – though you might have done it wrong because as soon as your fist landed on his face, you felt a crack on your hand and an intense stinging pain.

“What the fuck?” groaned Ethan while putting his hands on his face – as if he was the one shocked -, his nose was bleeding profusely

“You better get the fucking out of my apartment Ethan, or I swear to God I’ll scream bloody murder for someone to call the police”

Ethan gives you a last look – he looks genuinely shocked, is he for real? He’s the one surprised? He’s definitely crazy - before stepping out from your apartment mumbling what you think was a “Fuck – this hurts”

As soon as he was out of your apartment you quickly closed the door, making sure to put every lock on it. You sit against the door unable to understand what the fuck has just happened, your heart is beating so fast that you feel it’s gonna rip out of your rib cage in any moment, your hand is throbbing so bad that it’s almost unbearable, and the pain is increasing by the second.

You need to get to the doctor ASAP, but first you need to know how the hell did Ethan know where you lived, and you could only think of one person to help you with this.

You grabbed your bag and peep to see if there’s any signs of Ethan outside. No one is there. Great. Time to go out.

“Hey Y/N! I wasn’t expecti- “

Jackson cuts his own words when he sees your distress face and that you’re holding your left hand with help of the right one, it’s clear that you’ve somehow injured. At this point, your left hand starts to feel numb, the pain not going away at all. “What happened?”

 “Are you okay?” asks Amy by his side and worried as well

“Ethan happened” you respond to Jackson and then you look towards Amy “Honestly I’m not okay, my hand is aching like a bitch”

“What? He did this to you?” says Jackson surprised – you can’t blame him; you were as surprised as him with Ethan’s behavior – and you just shake your head “I kinda did this to myself when I punched him in the face”

Jackson’s face has a question mark drawn all over it by now and you continue talking while sighing “That’s why I’m here. Jackson, is there any way that he could possibly had access to my information? I never gave him my address to begin with but somehow, he ended up at my doorstep”

“He shouldn’t have, it’s illegal to pull confidential information about the clients, but I guess that’s possible if he somehow got to Amy’s computer” says Jackson turning his head towards an outraged Amy and now speaking to her “Check when the last time is that someone accessed Y/N’s information and we’ll check the cameras to see who it was”

“On it” says Amy turning her body quickly towards the computer.

Jackson takes a few steps closer to you and softly grabs your left hand. You hiss and he mumbles a soft “Sorry”. After checking it, he says “I’m no doctor but it’s possible that you broke your hand, it’s already swealing up too much, you need to go to the hospital right now. You want me to go with you or maybe I can call JK?”

“Don’t worry about it, the hospital is near JK’s house, I’ll go over to his place and then to the doctor”

“Okay. Listen, I’ll talk to my boss about this, even if we found out that Ethan wasn’t the one to pull your information, I’ll make sure that his access to the gym gets revoked, so you don’t have to deal with him here anymore”

 “Thank you so much Jackson, I’ll get going”

You exchanged greetings with Amy who was still checking the information from the computer. You had called an Uber a few minutes ago and Jackson offered to walk you out to the car – just to be safe he said -, even though you don’t think that Ethan is going to show up but then again, you never thought that he could be capable of showing up at your place and trying to force you into kissing him.

“I’ll let you know once we found out if someone pulled the information from our data base”

You nod at him and give him a quick hug before he shuts the car’s door of your Uber. You need to see your boyfriend right now.

Anger is all he can feel. He’s seeing red. He feels like a fool, like an idiot. Once again, seems like history is re-repeating. Always the same ending.

His doorbell rings announcing you’re here. He exhales trying to compose himself and he goes towards the entrance to open the door.

You sigh at the sight of your boyfriend. Finally.

“Hi baby. Sorry I took long to get here”

He scoffs while turning away and walking towards his living room without giving you a kiss “Yeah, I’m pretty sure what had you busy”

You follow his steps sensing his weird behavior “Is there something wrong?” you ask with furrowed eyebrows

“I don’t know, Y/N” says Jungkook with an unrecognizable tone. He proceeds to grab his phone and shove the screen right up your face surprising you “You tell me”

Pictures of Ethan kissing you. You only got a glimpse of the screen and saw that an unknown number had sent him the pictures along with a message saying, “You should know that your little girlfriend has been having fun for a while with Ethan”.

You froze in place. Your mind was spiraling. Was it all orchestrated by Ethan and someone else?

“I can explain it”

“Explain what? That you’re just the same as Lina and my ex? That you’re a slut? That you’ve been cheating on me? The guy is at your place, at your fucking apartment, Y/N! Since when has these been going on, huh? How many more beds have you been jumping on?” he screams at you.

You feel a pang in your chest. As if he’s taking your heart with his hand and slowly squeezing it. He’s spitting venom. You don’t even recognize him anymore. You don’t even think when your right-hand slaps him right on the face to stop him talking shit about you.

Tears are falling nonstop from your eyes when Jungkook turns to look at you with his eyes wide open. Did you really slap him?

He knows he went too far, while he was spitting all his venom on you, he saw how your face twisted in pain, but he’s fucking angry, and he can’t stop repeating in his mind that fucking image of Ethan and you kissing each other.

“Is that what you think about me after 10 fucking months together? After I confided to you how much it fucked me up that my dad cheated on my mum?”

He stays silent for a bit, probably unsure what to say.

“You see this?” You lift your left hand with all the pain stinging right through you, your hand is swelled up to its maximum now and Jungkook’s eyes almost pop out of his head seeing you injured, he instinctively steps closer to grab it and you take a step back “This is what happened after Ethan barged in my place and kissed me out of nowhere. I punched his face so hard that I probably broke something in my hand. But I guess no one sent you that picture, huh?”

Jungkook is frozen. He immediately forgets all of the anger he felt two seconds ago and just looks at you with big, scared eyes while your words slowly sink in and realizes he made a terrible mistake. He’s about to speak but you cut him off before he can say anything.

“It took longer to me to get here because I went to the gym to talk to Jackson because it’s the only place where Ethan could have pulled my address information, I never gave it to him”

He fucked up. Big time. He was so absorbed in the discussion but as soon as you explained what happened it feels like all energy is sucked out of him.

“But hey - good thing now I know what you really think about me”

 “Baby, I-I’m- “. His voice sounding a little shaky. He starts to tear up all of the sudden.

“Don’t, Jungkook” you cut him off once again “You do realize that when I saw Lina kissing you at that night club you weren’t even my boyfriend, but I had let you explain what did really happen that night and I fucking believed you. We have been together for almost a year, and you didn’t even let me talk, you just figured out that what makes sense it’s that I’m…” you gulp, and more tears fall on your cheeks before continuing “…a slut”

Jungkook looks at you defeated with watery eyes before more tears start to slip from his eyes and he hastily wipes them away.

“I’m so s-sorry baby I wasn’t thinking clearly, it was an impulse. I-I was so angry an-“

“Save it. I’m done” you say with the coldest tone ever. He steps closer to you wanting to hug you and you shake your head and lift your right hand stopping him before the most painful words that you’ve ever said come out of your lips “I’m breaking up with you”  

“What? No, d-don’t say that, you don’t mean it”

“I mean every part of it. I’m done with you, Jungkook. And I’m done with us”

“N-no, please baby, let’s talk this through”

“Talk? You already made it pretty clear what you think about me. You don’t trust me; you never did, and I fucking knew it all this time. If you did trust me, you would have listened my explanation and not just assume that I was cheating on you”

You begin to turn your heels to leave the apartment when Jungkook suddenly stops you and hugs your body.

 “Let go of me, Jungkook”

“N-no”

“Let-me-go” you beg – even if you feel how your heart is breaking slowly – “You’re making it so hard for me to leave—” you cry in his arms and he feels like shit, he feels like an asshole for making you suffer, he can’t stand seeing you like this.

“Then don’t leave. Stay” he softly says cupping your face, but you can’t even look him in the eyes. Not after hearing all the shit that he said about you, you can’t see him the same way you did before.

With your only good hand you grab his and remove it from your face. You take some steps away from him and say “It’s not going to work out. I know because I’ve gone through this before. I’m doing us a favor”

He bursts crying even more. His body spasming. He is hurting. You both are.

You love him so deeply that you’re feeling like all the air is being sucked from your lungs, but you also know where your boundaries are settled. You have been through this in previous experiences, and you don’t want to repeat your mistakes. Did he ever love you? How could you say such things to someone you love? – your mind is definitely ruining you.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase, a simple fight can turn into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

Your heart is scattered all over the place. You don’t even know how you’ll be able to pick up the pieces or if it’s going to be possible at all to even reassemble it.

“Don’t do this, please. I love you Y/N” he pleads hoping that you believe his words, that you see how hopelessly in love he is because he really means every word he said. But your next words feel like a stab right through his heart.

“I don’t think you know what loving someone means”

With that being said, you turned your heels and walked out of Jungkook’s apartment.

The moment you step out of it, he broke crying on his knees. He knew it the moment he saw your eyes full of tears, he knew it when you said you were breaking up with him.

He knew he had lost you.

Previous | Next

[lukkabloom]

Fun facts abt residents & castle trio according to Ikevamp Radio (ヴァンなま) Part 7

Episode idk the number but Happy 7th Anniversary Ikevamp!!

(Hoping they don’t private the stream like so many of the other ones)

It’s with Morishin (Sebas’s VA) ONLY so I’m kinda bummed about that… but he always makes every episode chaotic so I guess that’s a plus (no this isn’t Sebas hate)

(The headless Arthur and Vincent in the background I CAN’T HAHAHHA)

This years theme is TABOO so we’re getting gacha & events with these themes :)) in JP at least

So apparently in the Ikesen livestream, on June 3, it was determined that the nickname for Yamada Shiro, the artist for Ikevamp and Ikesen, would be “Shiro-chan” (it’s cute)

Morishin is like “Shiro-chan are you watching??” and then proceeds to worry if it’s appropriate to say that (but everyone in chat just spams “Shiro-chan!!” in the comments)

Morishin touching Leo’s boob mousepad LMAOO (also the fact that apparently he was told in the rehearsal that he was allowed to grope it) → and then told by the comments that maybe he touched it too much

After the ads, Morishin said “... So I was told that I was seen by Shiro-chan..” while groping Leo’s boobs??? HAHAHA 

So the first segment is called “Open the Forbidden Door: Ikevamp Taboo Quiz” where they use the youtube live chat feature to ask the viewers questions & they answer

The first question is [TABOO Level 1] Out of these options, one person is hiding their TABOO… their least favorite food. Which of these people are lying? 1: Charles (likes souffle) 2: Isaac (likes sandwiches) 3: Vincent (likes pancakes) 4: Mozart (likes cookies) WAIT THEY ANSWER VIA IN-GAME VOICE LINESS???

Charles: Things I like? Let’s see…. I like souffles. They’re delicious as a meal or as a dessert, and while we are waiting for them to bake, we can talk a lot with each other.

Isaac: My favorite food? Hmm… If I were to pick one, it'd be sandwiches. I can eat it while I’m reading or doing research.

VIncent: Woahh! It’s a fluffy pancake! Yup, it’s my favorite food! I like eating it with butter. Hey, can I eat these? 

Mozart: Cookies, scones, and the like… How can you eat those foods that get messy and fall apart a lot?

Question 2!! [TABOO Level 10] (the jump from levels what the—) According to the Ikevamp election 2024 “The forbidden couple ~Whose hand will you take tonight?~” Story event (which will be available in the future), which of these kink (?) options are not available in the story? 1: Hypnosis play 2: Honey play 3: Brush play 4: Ice play

(the difficulty level increased suddenly…) the one with the highest vote was the brush play?? (what is that? Don’t answer that pls) But the correct answer was option 1: Hypnosis play

3rd question  [TABOO Level 30] Whose lower abs (iliopsoas muscle) is this? (There’s an image of it) 1: Faust 2: Jean 3: Leonardo 4: Shakespeare

The most voted answer is Leonardo, which was the correct answer (from the 4th anniversary birthday card)

4th question  [TABOO Level 50] Whose xxx (nipple)  is this?? (there’s also an image) 1: Theo 2: Arthur 3: Comte 4: Dazai

The chosen answer was Arthur which was correct!! (image from the 2018 election of Arthur’s sexy wet illustration)

5th question  [TABOO Level 70] According to Sebas’s story on the “7th Anniversary Let’s speed up the main routes campaign” which words can be best replaced as xxx from the original line? The line being “Why is it… that the more you touch me here, xxx” 1: my heart beats rapidly 2: my body becomes hotter 3: you become sweeter?? (idk how to translate this accurately it’s an expression) 4: my dyungyun bangyuns (similar to option 1 but more comical)

The options were more diverse, with 3 being the most popular choice, but 4 being the 3rd most popular choice (darn it). The correct answer is… Numero 3

6th question  [TABOO Level 100] The ultimate forbidden action in ikevamp is, of course, blood-sucking. Listen to this please: (insert audio) Whose sounds was that? 1: Galileo 2: Vlad 3: Napoleon 4: Drake

Galileo got the most votes, and he was the correct answer!!

Morishin as confused that the more the level increased, the more they got the answers correct

Also we’re able to listen to the other options sucking blood (how is this allowed on youtube???)

The next segment is “Hidden Secrets: Taboo Talk” using X (Twitter) they introduce the viewer’s taboo episodes.

Morishin said that it wouldn’t be weird if Comte (or everyone in Ikevamp) would participate in Paris Olympics (happening rn) with their buff bodies HAHA

Next Morishin introduces the different pictures of this campaign where viewers could slide their fingers on screen (on the characters) and remove their clothes /// (again HOW IS THIS AVAILABLE ON YT???)

Now we get to see how people decorate their avatars :)) love the big Moussette one

NEXT!! We get to see amazing fanart with the theme of TABOO!! THEY’RE ALL SO PRETTY & AMAZING I love it when official companies appreciate their creators and communities

In the “I love yu” segment (love that it’s been here since the beginning) 

(it’s only Sebas here so I’ll just have his name once) Sebas: *Hums* Today was such an amazing day. Who would’ve thought that we would be able to go to the beach as a leisure activity? The observation details were everywhere! It was almost too much by myself. As soon as I get out of the bath, I shall start taking notes in my journal. *GASP!!* I felt a signal of wanting to know the contents of my diary!! Are you curious? You want to know, yes? Of course. I’ll go to the center of the bathtub and shout my love of these historical figures.

Arriving at the beach, everyone couldn’t take their eyes off of your figure in a swimsuit, but the ones to take the initiative were Master Arthur and Charles. Because surprise, it was them two who had chosen your swimwear. “You can enjoy the beach to the max with a girl’s swimsuit” is what they said, not even willing to hide their true intentions. The two��as the sexy representation—stared at you in your figure, enjoying the beach to the fullest.

Following them, Masters Napoleon and Isaac took some time walking by the shore. I was watching them from under the parasol, but their figures depicting young love was something out of a drama. Holding your hand tightly as you were blown by the salty winds, showing the future of the cutest love triangle… On which channel could I watch the second episode?? Oh, my apologies.

After the walk, the ones who invited you for lunch were Masters Leonardo and Drake. The large fish that Drake caught was swiftly chopped by Leonardo, completing an exquisite sashimi lunch. Of course, the soy sauce was provided by myself.

After lunch, a drawing event was held by the van Gogh brothers in the sand. The three’s challenging tastes clashed, completing a squid-like product the more you look at it, the more you love. Everyone’s satisfied expressions were brighter than the sunlight in the summer, and is that wholesome moment—allowed to be viewed for free??

After that, you were invited by Dazai-san and Faust to sunbathe, but as soon as I heard that they want to “xxxxxx” you, I, Satou Akihiko, could not stand by and watch! I replied. I stumbled on my words from the aggressiveness, but please understand my consideration. 

Leading you to Master Jean and Shakespeare, the three of you listened to the sound of waves. The three of you shared your own world there—mmm, very romantic. 

When Herr Mozart and Vlad invited you out into the shade, your cheeks were very warm, as if you had a heat stroke. Cooling off in the shade… I would like to experience that as well. I am waiting for your invitation. 

At last, it was dinner time, and you were invited to a seaside restaurant by Comte and Galileo. While you were enjoying the seafood dishes, the two were sipping on their wine. As a historical maniac, the scene was a delicious dish. Sebas can eat much more!!

Of course, I was able to enjoy time with you too. Sitting by the shore, laughing “ahaha, ahaha” and “Hey~you did it,” splashing water together. Your face was glowing with the drops of water, something from a dream. 

When the others are with you, they look so happy. To be able to observe them is something I enjoy. However, there is a side of me that wants to keep you all to yourself. This way of thinking… may be taboo for a butler like me. But it should be okay if it’s something I do in my head. Here, let me think of a confession of love I want to say to you at the beach.

“Even if I know that this is a forbidden love, my feelings for you cannot be stopped. I want to take you to the far ends of the sea, where no one will know of our circumstances. That is how much I love you.”

With this, I, Sebas, will be able to overcome this challenging summer. Well, before we overheat, let’s get out of the bath and start writing in our historical figure journals. The fact that I have this journal is something the others must not know—a taboo. 

AAAND that’s the end of the segment

They have a new PV (yayyyy) and it looks so HOT??? It should be released by the time this post is out

Leo’s sequel will be out this winter (for the JP players)

Lol I literally forgot how much fun I have watching this (as well as how much time it takes to translate this in one session haha)

Also if anyone wants me to translate/want me to expand on more things, I can take things into consideration and (maybe) do it

If anyone got this far, have an amazing rest of your day/night!!

[oreo102]

Please I'm so so curious to hear your thoughts on 10/14

Ok so my thoughts on 10 are less than 14 so let’s start with him lol. I have not watched 10, so my hatred of him is more hatred by proxy of how the fandom treats him and proxy of 14, but I still do have a few specific thoughts and this will be long and definitely rambly

A) when talking about him I usually refer to him as Fandom’s Favorite White Boy or Pathetic Wet Cat/Twink mostly because it’s funny but for now I’ll use 10. The most I know about 10 is that he is angsty and in love with rose and besties with Donna… also that he’s pathetic but that’s more vibes

So- my hate of 10 is less tangible than 14 but i still have a few points, the main one being the way i see ppl talk about how he treated Martha and how obsessed with rose he was. I don’t think it’s ever compelling to have someone’s main personality trait be loving someone a whole lot which also honestly is my problem with rose (don’t hate her but don’t care about her)

From what I have seen and heard of 10 it’s rather… boring, honestly? Like it’s mostly clips out of context but for 13 and 15 I saw clips out of context and was like “ok wth is happening? /pos” with 10 it’s more like “wtf?” Also pretty sure his episodes were some of the ones I saw when my parents had the show on that played a part in me swearing the show off so

Ok onto the more tangible hatred of 14. A lot of this, admittedly, is more about the writing and showrunner decisions than 14 but those things by proxy makes me hate him

So- I have a lot of feelings on him quite literally starting from his first appearance in power of the doctor. I am SO PETTY that he doesn’t wear 13’s silly little outfit. Like I have gone on full rants about that fact to my friends and family

I’ve seen something claim that rtd didn’t want 14 to wear her outfit because people might be transphobic and derogatory towards him (even tho Dhawan!master wore it, and it’s pretty gender neutral) but then did nothing about the shit ppl said about ruby’s actor or about ppl who would be a bitch about rose the second being nonbinary(also i remember seeing a post about their deadname being mentioned in an episode? Not totally sure that’s true tho)

The 60th anniversary specials themselves don’t really celebrate Dr who as a whole as much as 10’s run with a few old villains but that’s not really my main issue with that. My main issue with the specials is that the Doctor gets their happy ending. With Donna. And her family. When fucking 3-4 episodes prior, their happy ending would’ve been yaz. It would’ve been staying with yaz. But nope! Donna! Because that’s what 10 would’ve wanted.

And I don’t want 14 to be with yaz, btw, I mean I want them to meet and for yaz to hit him, but I don’t want them to be a thing or like be together because I believe yaz is a lesbian but that’s not the point of this so moving on

I also have very much big issues with the scene where 15 and 14 are (presumably, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the full scene) talking about women they love and mention who I assume to be River and rose but not yaz, who again, they wanted to spend forever with 3-4 episodes prior. It makes the doctor seem like a douchebag even if it’s a writing issue and not a character issue

Also 14 being David tenant overshadows 13’s departure and 15’s arrival and since he is most likely going to show up at least a little bit in s14 he’ll overshadow 15 in his own series. It’s icky at the very least.

There’s something inherently bad about having the fandoms Favorite White Boy be with a contentious casting decision (because I have no faith in the Dr who fandom not to be bigoted) and even if no one has an issue with 15 being black and maybe gay (is he gay? He gives gay vibes) it’s still setting him up for failure by pairing him with 14

Also bigeneration is so fucking dumb and I hate it

Also also stop giving the Dr 19 year old companions it’s getting kinda weird now

[maytheleiabewyou]

Analysis of the German gay film #freierfall / #freefall PART 4

For the 10th anniversary (omg! 10 years already!) (11 now because its 2024!) of one of my favorite movies I decided to make an analysis of the film and especially of the scenes between these two great actors.Max Riemelt and Hanno Koffler. Kay and Marc. Marc and Kay. I hope you like it and that above all it serves to encourage the creators to give us that long awaited second part.

HERE IT IS PART 4:

I'm baaaack! Sorry for the delay <3 I would have liked to upload this fourth part as a christmas present but well now you could say it's a late valentine's day present hehe

Remember where we left it? :)

I promised myself I was going to only talk about these two ignoring all the plot with Marc's wife pregnancy but I think its necessary to mention it. This wonderful kiss in the woods happened MEANWHILE! (although here Kay did not know it yet!) After this scene there are a couple more that do not involve these two = boring. haha Scenes that Marc tries to convince himself how good is his life and how lucky he is. #whoareyoutryingtofool

After training at the police academy comes the action! And of couuuuurse Kay had to go to the same unit as Marc. Fact that Marc did not seem to like it at all.

+What are you doing here? (Marc) -I'm glad to see you too (Kay)

The first time I saw the movie I thought Marc was going to kiss Kay furiously. The next few times I watched this scene I felt sorry for Marc and how he deals with his frustrations with violence and is not able to face these new feelings in a normal way. But now, I see this scene and I really feel sorry for Kay. He doesn't deserve to be treated like that and even less for saying what we all think (that Marc is quite happy to see him again). It is true that for Marc this meeting is the last thing he needed. But just because he is afraid.

Time for Kay to find out he will be an uncle? hahah

oKAY its true that Kay's expression is everything in this scene but look at Marc! He is saying so much without talking! He is between shy, serious (not smiling at all even though Bettina is happy talking about baby) and kind of afraid that Kay found out? Look how for a moment he looks away and immediately looks at the ground as if avoiding Kay.

The dialogues here are key to understand everything. First of all neither Kay or Marc greets each other (where are your manners guysss)

-scary huh? (Says Bettina due to Kay's facial expression)

And then nobody talks about it anymore. Kay and Marc can't say anything else. They just glance at each other but inside a whole of emotions are going on.

Blessed the existence of men's bathroom that allows the two of them to be alone for a moment!

Kay is spechless. He speechless? I know. So Marc looks at him and says:

+yes, that's how things are (as Kay cared about that HAHAH)

Fun fact: after this scene they go home and Bettina asks Marc about Kay. And while Marc can only say bad things about Kay, Bettina is like "he seemed nice to me" hahaha

Now comes the moment we all were waiting for! Pure authenticity

After Marc again being violent with Kay in an exercise, Kay approaches him gently and just is honest with Marc:

AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY GO JOGGING, RIGHT?

I know you will hate me right now but Im ending this part here haha! So the wait for the next part will be more than worthy!!!

ps: Thanks for all the feedback from the previous publications and to the owners of the gifs I used. Also, here you have the previous parts in case you missed them <3

[ducktoonsfanart]

My artworks during 2023.

Until I find a template for a set of my drawings that I did in the course of a year, I will post like this, so it will be a long post and I apologize to everyone for that, but here's a little retrospective from last year. I also wish everyone a happy holiday!

Although I already have my retrospective from my post here: https://ducktoonsfanart.tumblr.com/post/738256253962403840/2023-tumblr-top-10

Also here I will respect my drawings that I did during the last year, because after all this is my art blog, while my main blog is here: https://ducklooney.tumblr.com/

Like every year, here I will make a retrospective of my drawings that I did during the previous year as well as my best drawings from last year. Unfortunately, unlike in 2022, I was not forced to post every month because of the jobs I was doing, and I was absent a lot until the end of the year. I still managed to somehow make a Mickey Mouse 100th anniversary jubilee as well as make my own new ideas as well as some gifts for my friends as well as some crossovers. Unbelievable, but I turned to Ducktales 2017 and drew them. However, I stuck to drawing related to Three Caballeros, Darkwing Duck, Duck comics, Duck Avenger, OG Ducktales, Quack Pack, classic shorts, some Looney Tunes stuff and more. Yes, I have changed my drawing style a bit as opposed to 2022 and yes, in addition to Donald Duck and Duckverse, I have also turned to Mickey Mouse and Mouseverse and his friends and I hope to do more in the future during the new year 2024. Also, today is Julian New Year, so once again I wish you a Happy New Year!

As for my main blog, I managed to get over 900 followers, while on this art blog of mine 75 and I hope that I will manage to get over 1000, i.e. over 100 and I hope that in addition to my beloved ducks, I will also turn to others to my favorite things from cartoons, comics, video games, literature, movies and more. All in all, thank you for your support and continue to support me in the future. Thank you all!

And now the results of my drawings, that is, an overview through the year 2023:

January 2023 - Donald Duck with his family and his best friends - Happy New Year and Happy Holidays! - Modern Three Caballeros and Quack Pack - 32 notes (likes, reblogs and comments)

February 2023 - Unfortunately, I didn't publish anything at the time, but I drew Angel Duck (Donald's conscience) from Donald's Better Self related to the tragedy that happened in Syria and Turkey during the earthquake, but I didn't publish until the beginning of November and that on the occasion of the unfortunately bad events in Israel and Palestine, as and tragedy in my country. And I posted it here: https://ducktoonsfanart.tumblr.com/post/733191514056966144/donald-duck-and-his-nephews-as-angels-mourn-the

Angel Duck pleads for the victims - 18 notes

March 2023 - Same unfortunately, but I drew Magica de Spell as Cleopatra, as well as Scrooge as Caesar and Gladstone Gander as Mark Antony and published it only in December, after a few months, related to Duckmber and related to history. Part of my Duckverse in history.

Cleopatra in Duckverse - Magica De Spell as Cleopatra - History in Duckverse - 20 notes

April 2023 - Happy birthday Huey, Dewey and Louie Duck plus Phooey Duck! - Tripletsmania - 32 notes

Admittedly, drawings from 2022, but I still posted about the 85th birthday of Donald's nephews, one of my favorite characters.

Also, April 2023 - Duckverse and Looney Tiny Toons - Huey, Dewey and Louie and Daffy Duck Birthday Easter Party - 23 notes (crossover)

May 2023 - Huey Dewey and Louie Duck - Happy Late Easter!- Disneyland - 23 notes

True, this post was more popular than that one, but it's still a drawing from 2022, while that one was as a gift for my friend, which I didn't post until May. Also see: https://ducktoonsfanart.tumblr.com/post/717339649404747776/happy-mothers-day-duck-family-grandma-duck

June 2023 - I didn't publish anything at the time, but I drew Donald Duck and his friends with his family, mostly their faces and it was related to Donald's birthday. Post in July.

Donald Duck and his family and friends - sketch (Duckverse) - 35 notes

July 2023 - Duck Teenagers - Quack Pack - Six Fanarts - Ducktales-Duckverse characters - 35 notes

August 2023 - Unfortunately I didn't post anything, but that month I drew Donald Duck and Gyro Gearloose with my nephews celebrating Donald's birthday and didn't post until November. See: https://ducktoonsfanart.tumblr.com/post/735189018680115200/donald-duck-celebrates-his-birthday-with-his

Donald Duck celebrates his birthday with his partner Gyro (Donro) and his nephews - 23 notes

September 2023 - Same, except I then drew the Three Caballeros (Donald Duck, Jose Carioca and Panchito Pistoles, also one of my favorite characters) and didn't post until the next month.

The Three Caballeros Together Again! - The Legend of The Three Caballeros - 36 notes

October 2023 - Ducktales Adults in spacesuits on the Moon in space - Ducktales Kids and Teenagers in spacesuits on the Moon in space - Ducktales in Space (AU) - 40 notes

November 2023 - Happy 95th Birthday to Mickey and Minnie Mouse! - Tribute to sci-fi movies and comics (cosplay) - Star Wars and Star Trek - 39 notes

Also, November 2023 - Duckvember - Mother Duck (Ducks) - Duck Family in Quack Pack AU - 37 notes - and related to the 80th birthday of Grandma Duck, one of my favorite characters.

December 2023 - The Quest for Kalevala - Kalevala - Scrooge as Väinämöinen VS Magica as Louhi - Tribute to Don Rosa (Duckverse) - 37 notes

Also December 2023 - The Donald Duck Chronicles - Donald Duck and Goofy in Kingdom Hearts - Crossover Duckverse - The Secret Life of Donald Duck - My Version - 45 notes

And finally my most viewed drawing is:

Once Upon A Studio - Mickey Mouse and Friends - HAPPY 100TH ANNIVERSARY DISNEY STUDIO! - 54 notes

Some things were challenging for me, and some will be yet to come, and yes, what I did not succeed in last year, I will do in this year with even more good challenges and even more good surprises. And indeed in some things I have succeeded, while in others I am just a beginner. I thank everyone for following me and keep following me and there will be more surprises. And thank you all for supporting me! And it won't just be about Disney and Warner Bros.

Once again, happy holidays to everyone and a happy new year 2024!

If you have any impression of what you liked the most and what you didn't like about these drawings, feel free to say so.

Feel free to like and reblog this! And keep following me! :D