#He looks sparkly irl :(

[elizakai]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @tuxibirdie!!!! 💫🌸✨

You deserve all of the birthday loves 🥺

(sorry for the doodle…I had something else planned :,) anyways I charmed the hospital staff into bringing me SOMETHING and they had like dollar store art supplies so 😎✨)

[gureumz]

are you?

rating: explicit

members: sunghoon, heeseung

notes/warnings: fem!reader, smoking, INFIDELITY, bf!heeseung, reader cheats on heeseung, rivalry between sunghoon and heeseung, university setting, dirty talk, protected sex, public sex, car sex, once again: THERE IS CHEATING IN THIS STORY

a/n: please know that i do not condone cheating irl. this is merely an exercise on writing and a test of my skills when depicting themes like this. got the idea from this tiktok.

read part 2 here

lee heeseung is the perfect boyfriend.

tall, handsome, highly athletic, a phenomenal singer and dancer, oozing charisma with every step he takes, every perfect smile he sends your way, every discreet-but-not-really shift of his hands over the slope of your ass.

you, quiet and often unassuming, couldn't have asked for someone better. not that you wanted to, because you know in your heart of hearts that lee heeseung is as best as you can do.

the way you got together was a serendipitous mix of being at the right place at the right time and an uncharacteristic surge of confidence on your part.

you were loitering right outside the gates of your university, huddled closely with your friends, identical cigarettes hanging between your fingers or puckered in between perfectly glossed lips. a couple of you preferred the artificial, flavored alternatives, but it was nicotine all the same.

"sorry ladies, i hate to do this, but can any of you lend me a lighter?"

you turned and it was like a cliche scene in some romcom. hands shoved in his uniform slacks, the infamous engineering polo hanging off his broad frame, heeseung eyed you with some mix of boyish charm and adorable bashfulness.

it took you a second to realize that you were the one holding the neon pink lighter, having forgotten who it really belonged to. it was communal among your friends at this point.

you, in a split-second decision probably fueled by some kind of girlish giddiness at his handsome looks, held the lighter up and flicked it on.

heeseung chuckled, pulling a box of reds out of his pocket. slipping a cigarette between his lips, he bent down to your level, aligning the end with the tiny flame emitted by the lighter.

"thanks," heeseung said after the end of his cigarette lit up, a puff of smoke escaping his lips. he straightened up, sending you a wink.

your friends were watching this exchange with heightened curiosity, eyebrows raised and mouths curling in amused smiles.

heeseung made a move as if to turn, but stopped short, bringing his attention back to you.

"hey, aren't you jay's friend from high school?" heeseung asked, jerking his head towards the direction of his friends.

you followed the direction of where he vaguely gestured, and sure enough, jay, indeed an old friend from high school, and some other guys were watching you from the other end of the large gate leading to the inside of your university.

you waved at jay and he enthusiastically waved back once he determined who you were.

"________, right?" heeseung had continued to ask, grinning down at you.

"yeah," you confirmed. "sorry, what was your name?"

"heeseung," he replied, holding his hand out to you.

a handshake, exchanged instagrams, about three dates, and two months later, you had the honor of calling yourself lee heeseung's girlfriend.

you wouldn't have it any other way.

especially now that he has his hands running up and down your sides, your back pressed firmly against his front, the music blaring loud in both of your ears.

the party was his idea, obviously, but you wouldn't say no to a night of drinking and dancing with heeseung.

"you look gorgeous," heeseung whispers lowly in your ear. as if to emphasize his point, he places a kiss right behind your ear.

"look at all of these people ogling at you," heeseung adds, chuckling.

"oh please, they're looking at you," you reply. you catch a girl in a sparkly top giving your boyfriend a totally obvious once-over.

heeseung turns you around to face him, hips swaying along to the music. you match his movements, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"only because i'm with the most beautiful girl in here," heeseung counters back, making a move to kiss you on the lips.

you kiss back, feeling his arms tighten around you. you giggle against his mouth.

"slow down there, tiger," you tease as you pull away. "should i get us more drinks?"

heeseung's lips pull up in a smirk. he leans in to kiss you again, briefly this time.

"sure, princess. just rum and coke for me."

you nod, wriggling free from heeseung's grasp. you make your way to the bar, but not before heeseung lands a quick slap to your ass.

you lean over the bar, patiently waiting for the bartender to notice you. you quickly rattle off your orders once he does, and you have time to perch yourself on one of the barstools while you wait.

you survey the club before you. most of the patrons are university-age, just like you, with a good chunk of actual students from your own institution.

you feel somebody slide into the seat next to yours and you spare them an absentminded glance. you do a double take when you realize he was beaming at you.

"are you alone?" the stranger asks. you cautiously shift away from him, though, you would be lying if you said he wasn't attractive.

you remind yourself that even serial killers can look like greek gods.

"no, i'm with my friends," you explain, waving a hand towards the general direction of your table.

"i'm just getting drinks," you continue.

the stranger nods, studying your face. "cool. i'm sunghoon."

he reaches a hand out to you and you stifle a smile.

"________," you return, grasping his hand in yours. his skin was soft, but the grip he has is as manly as it gets.

"wanna dance while you wait for your drinks?" sunghoon asks, leaning in closer. you can smell his perfume now, and you can just make out the moles adorning his face. he has an insanely high-angled nose, too.

"sure," you answer, a grin spreading across your face. you look over sunghoon's shoulder and you have to stop yourself from laughing.

heeseung had sidled up behind sunghoon, eyebrows knit in confusion.

"you have to ask my boyfriend, though," you continue, motioning with your chin towards heeseung. a master of timing as always, heeseung walks over to you and drapes an arm around your shoulder.

"ask me, what, park?" heeseung questions, raising an eyebrow at sunghoon.

you look up at heeseung in surprise, not expecting him to actually know sunghoon.

sunghoon deflects from the question. "didn't expect to see you here, hyung."

heeseung scoffs, pulling you closer to him.

"i could say the same for you," heeseung says in something akin to a sneer. "finally pulled the stick out your ass enough to have fun?"

sunghoon rolls his eyes, rising from his seat. he locks eyes with you and smiles.

"nice meeting you, ________."

without another word, sunghoon stalks off into the crowd, disappearing in the blink of an eye.

"what was that about? you know him?" you interrogate heeseung, slipping your fingers between his.

heeseung snickers before leaning down to kiss your temple.

"just some asshole from one of my classes," heeseung explains. "completely insufferable."

you decide not to press on the matter further, and to your relief, the bartender returns, sliding your drinks towards you.

heeseung picks up his drink and downs half of it. the uneasy clenching in his jaw doesn't go unnoticed by you.

---

one thing you've learned about heeseung is that he loves attention. whether he's aware of this or not is unknown to you.

not that it's a bad thing, but you speculate that with a face like that and a multitude of talents, heeseung just grew accustomed to being poured with attention and compliments.

you didn't mind it, or at least you tried not to mind it. stopping every few paces when you're walking across campus with heeseung because he ran into someone he knew is one thing, the overflowing comments on his social media posts are fine, but even you're not above admitting that the plethora of girls that dote on your boyfriend don't give your skin an uncomfortable prickle.

you don't say anything because you should be thankful that your boyfriend is major hot stuff at your uni, but it's the way he responds so enthusiastically to girls gushing over him that irks you.

but you're afraid of shattering the perfect trajectory your relationship. you convince yourself that it's just some underlying insecurity you have and you can get over it. you tell yourself that you're okay with not bringing it up with heeseung.

because you love him and you're sure he doesn't mean it.

bball practice is gonna run late tonight. don't wait up k baby?

the text from heeeung pings on your screen and you hurriedly type out an affirming reply.

you flip your phone face down on the table, pulling your tablet closer to you, eyes refocusing on the notes displayed across the screen. you're kind of glad that heeseung was busy because you really needed to hunker down and study for a major test tomorrow.

that's how you found yourself cooped up in the library, in the very back section where few students care enough to venture, to ensure the least amount of distraction for you.

there's about three other students within your immediate vicinity but a blur of movement alerts you that a fourth person is about to join you. you look up from your notes and you nearly gasp when you realize who it is.

he hasn't noticed you yet, eyes too focused on picking the perfect desk for him to settle into, but you know without a shadow of a doubt that sunghoon is the one making his way toward your side of the library.

your eyes finally meet him and for a second, neither of you makes a move, just staring blankly at each other. but then sunghoon brings a hand up and waves, smiling handsomely at you.

you wave back politely and for some reason, sunghoon takes this as an invitation to seat himself at the desk directly to your left.

"mind if i sit here?" sunghoon whispers. you're mildly surprised to find out that he looks even better under regular, non-strobe lighting.

"not at all," you say, shaking your head. you turn back to your desk, but you know you're already half-distracted.

it's that damned perfume of his, for sure.

thankfully, sunghoon doesn't try to make further conversation and after a while you find yourself slowly sinking back into zen, eyes moving over the subject matter you were studying. your focus is once again interrupted only by sunghoon abruptly rising from his seat.

he catches your eye as he walks over to some bookshelves and he smiles at you yet again. without even thinking, you notice yourself smiling back.

you hold your breath as you watch the spot where he disappeared between stacks of books, unsure what you're even waiting for. as if pulled by some unknown force, you slip off your own seat, legs bringing you to the exact bookshelf where sunghoon is rifling through some reference books.

he's hunched over the text, forehead creased in concentration as he scans over the words, but his expression eases when he sees you appear in his periphery.

"oh, _______," sunghoon lets out, mildly startled. "nice seeing you again here."

you don't say anything for a few seconds, suddenly at a loss for what exactly you were doing following sunghoon. he looks at you expectantly, but you notice the hint of amusement dancing in his dark eyes.

"i have something to ask you," you say rather plainly. sunghoon closes the book in his hand, tucking it under his arm.

"shoot," sunghoon replies, leaning against the bookshelf. your eyes flit for a moment to the veins running up his arms.

"are you in some sort of fight with my boyfriend?" you ask, stepping closer, conscious that your voice might carry over to the librarian's desk nearby.

sunghoon chuckles. "heeseung-hyung is the only one fighting. i would prefer not to get into any altercations with him."

you tilt your head to the side, confused. sunghoon licks his lips before continuing.

"i guess he's not used to someone competing with him and actually winning over him sometimes," sunghoon explains.

you ponder on this for a moment. you're aware that heeseung has some sort of an ego, but being mere months into the relationship, you weren't fully sure how deep it went.

"so, you two are in some sort of academic rivalry?" you joke, eyebrows raised at sunghoon. he laughs quietly.

"i guess? he can only wish to be as good as i am in calculus," sunghoon jests back, inching ever so slightly closer to you.

you're nearly toe to toe but the way sunghoon's hair falls into his eyes, and the curve of his lips as he smiles has you frozen in place, admiring every sharp turn of his features.

"don't go stealing my boyfriend, now," you reply, moving as if to kick sunghoon in the shin. you lightly nudge his leg with your foot.

so it's you who ultimately breaks the physical barrier.

sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. he briefly touches your chin with his forefinger and you bristle, surprised at the unexpected contact.

"it's not your boyfriend i want," sunghoon says before walking off.

you stand there, fingertips tingling and heart beating wildly.

---

sex with heeseung is often spontaneous and because of that, you've found yourself stretched out from his cock in unusual places around campus more times than you care to admit.

this evening, you're shoved behind some bleachers in your university's basketball court, your hands braced against the metal as heeseung pounds you from behind.

your prudish uniform skirt is bunched up around your waist, and one cup of your bra is pulled all the way down under your blouse. you bite down on your lip, hard, as heeseung pistons in and out of you.

"fuck, heeseung, please," you whisper, unsure whether you're asking him to please, make me cum or please, hurry up. maybe both. because you can hear footsteps and voices approaching and despite the boost of newfound confidence you've acquired with being heeseung's girlfriend, you're not sure what you'd do with yourself if you suddenly find yourself trending among the students of your university for fucking behind the bleachers.

heeseung merely grunts in reply, sealing his hand over your mouth. you can see through the gaps in the bleachers that there's a group making their way toward your general direction. it's dark enough, just after dusk, that you're concealed from anyone standing a few feet away, but you suddenly remember with a chill that people often come here to smoke and do other...recreational substances.

someone from the group is walking faster than the rest and he's making a beeline straight to where you and heeseung are. heeseung's movements have slowed down to mild, drawn-out thrusts, but he keeps his hand over your face.

stepping into the dimmed lighting of the court, the figure approaching your spot stops short. he's looking directly at you.

you realize with a start, your heart sinking in humiliation, that it's sunghoon who's staring right into your eyes, his gaze somehow finding yours in the shadows of the bleachers. his face twitches in recognition before morphing into an expression of amusement.

"let's go somewhere else," sunghoon calls out to his companions, eyes still locked on yours.

"i think someone's fucking in the bleachers," sunghoon adds, before finally tearing his vision away from you.

the others who came with sunghoon laugh, hollering and making obscene sounds, but they walk away nonetheless, leaving you and heeseung alone once again in the court.

"who was that?" heeseung questions, removing his hand from your face. he licks the shell of your ear before biting down on your earlobe.

"n-no idea," you reply shakily, suppressing a cry as heeseung sinks his dick deep into you.

---

"are you here for heeseung?"

you look up from your phone, eyes landing on sunghoon's tall figure. he has the same easy stance, arms crossed, and his signature smile.

"yeah," you reply curtly, memories of that night behind the bleachers flooding back in your mind.

"why, so you can fuck him again behind the bleachers?" sunghoon asks, stepping closer. you look over his shoulder nervously at the other students pouring out of the classroom where he came from.

"that's none of your business," you say, avoiding his eyes.

"oh, yeah?" sunghoon asks with a laugh. "i'm pretty sure you made it everyone's business when you decided to fuck in public."

"it wasn't totally in public."

"sure, it was. anyone could've walked in."

sunghoon reaches for a strand of your hair. you feel your eyes flutter nearly shut when his hand brushes against your cheek.

"good thing i was the one who did," sunghoon adds, winking.

"did you enjoy the show?" you ask lowly, finally meeting sunghoon's eyes.

"did you wish it was you?"

sunghoon gulps, stepping back. just then, you see heeseung walk out of the classroom, eyes lighting up at the sight of your face.

"hey, baby," he greets, reaching for you. he stops when he sees sunghoon standing nearby.

"are you that thick that i need to explicitly tell you that i don't want you near my girlfriend?" heeseung scoffs at sunghoon.

"chill out, hyung, we just recognized each other from the club," sunghoon replies, eyeing you one last time before walking away.

you try not to let your hands shake so hard as heeseung links his arm with yours, rattling off about his class.

---

you're convinced that he's following you. how could he not be, when he's slipping into the same desk next to you in the library?

"miss me?" sunghoon asks playfully, setting his bag down on the desk in front of him.

it's been nearly two weeks since you last saw him outside that classroom, having been caught up in the whirlwind of midterms. even your time with heeseung was limited, with only brief lunches together as life pulled you in all different directions.

"not at all," you reply nonchalantly. your stomach flips when you inhale and you catch yet another whiff of his perfume.

would it be wrong to say that maybe you did miss him?

"come on, i thought you liked my company," sunghoon quips, leaning his elbow on the desk and perching his chin on his palm. he looks at you directly, unabashedly eyeing you up and down.

"where did you get that idea?" you ask in an attempt to sound irritable, but your voice comes out in a weak whisper.

sunghoon shrugs. "just a feeling."

"if you didn't, you would have told heeseung-hyung about our chance meetings and he would have beaten me up to a pulp by now," sunghoon continues, getting up from his seat before stretching lazily.

you swallow, pondering his words. it's true. if you disliked his presence so much, you would have ratted him out to heeseung. you know what sunghoon is doing. you can practically feel the flirty undertone in his words. if you were a better person, you would have shut it down a long time ago.

are you a better person?

"i kinda need your help, though," sunghoon says, staring down at you. you raise your eyes to his and you know he loves the perspective it gives him.

"i might need more books than i can carry," sunghoon explains. "might need an extra pair of hands."

without another word, he stalks off, disappearing between the same two bookshelves where you had your first conversation in this library.

you laugh to yourself, knowing that everything that came out of his mouth just now was bullshit, a guy who clearly spends hours in the gym, arms totally jacked, needing your help with a stack of books?

tell me right now, are you a better person?

possibly not, because you stand up all the same, legs mechanically taking you to where you know sunghoon is. you turn the corner and sure enough, sunghoon is waiting, back pressed against the wall at the very end of the two bookshelves. his arms are crossed and despite the shadows cast on his figure by the wooden shelves, you know his eyes are trained on you.

you take a quick glance over your shoulder, but you know no one else is there other than the surly librarian sitting at her desk. why were you in the library, anyway? exams had just finished. surely, you had a reason.

or maybe it was the same serendipitous mix of being at the right place at the right time and an uncharacteristic surge of confidence on your part.

last chance. are you a better person?

surely you aren't. not when you're practically shoving yourself against sunghoon's wide frame, fingers frantically clutching at his clothing as you pull him closer, closer, please, closer. not when you're kissing him with so much hunger, teeth clashing and tongues licking messily into each other's mouths.

sunghoon presses you against the wall, reaching under your skirt, and pulling the thin material of your underwear aside. he drinks in your moans as he easily finds your clit, rubbing in slow circles with his index and middle finger.

he pulls away, watching you as you throw your head back in pleasure. you refuse to look at him, lest it makes this whole thing seem real.

"look at me," sunghoon whispers right next to your ear. you shake your head, tears prickling in your eyes.

tears of shame.

sunghoon switches his fingers, replacing his index with his middle. he gathers the wetness between your legs, coating his digits generously. he slides the two fingers inside you and you nearly fall apart right at that moment.

you open your eyes, blinking the tears away and sunghoon is looking at you with an intensity that has your knees buckling. salty streaks cascade down your cheeks and sunghoon leans in to kiss them away.

"tell me to stop and i'll stop," sunghoon mumbles against your temple.

you wrap your arms around his torso, curling your fingers in the material of his uniform.

"keep going," you whisper. sunghoon kisses your forehead, your nose, then finally your lips.

his fingers drag in and out of you and you pant against sunghoon's mouth. it's embarrassing how close he's getting you. just a little more and he'll successfully coax an orgasm out of you.

you momentarily remember that it takes heeseung way longer to get you to finish, and that's often with help from your own fingers.

oh, god, heeseung. what have i done?

"that's it, love, it's okay," sunghoon says against the top of your head when he feels you clenching around him.

just as you predicted, it doesn't take too long. you finish with a quiet shudder against sunghoon's chest, your lip nearly bruised at how hard you've bitten down on it.

hiccupping, you lean back, watching as sunghoon brings his coated fingers to his lips, licking them clean and relishing in the way you're staring intently at his actions.

sunghoon leans in to kiss you a moment later and you whimper softly when you taste yourself on his tongue.

"we should go," sunghoon whispers, breath fanning your face.

you merely nod, shakily smoothing your clothes down.

---

you and heeseung look like the perfect couple.

you, in your dress that perfectly complimented the color of heeseung's suit and heeseung beaming proudly as he leads you through the hotel lobby towards the event hall.

it didn't take much convincing for you to agree to be heeseung's date to the engineering division's anniversary dinner. you love dressing up for fancy events and you love heeseung, so it was a no-brainer.

you love heeseung. you truly, deeply, honestly love heeseung.

you know you do. even when merely a week ago, you had his so-called rival's fingers deep inside you in a quiet corner of the library.

and as the saying goes, speak of the devil.

sunghoon is standing by the door of the event hall, dressed smartly in his own suit, and a similarly attired woman standing next to him. you've seen her before, one of the models on the university's advertorial billboards scattered all over the city.

you catch sunghoon's eye as you approach the hall but he makes no indication of noticing you. heeseung steers the two of you into the venue, his hand settling on the small of your back.

"i'm surprised park got himself a date for tonight," heeseung jokes, smirking down at you.

"don't be like that," you return weakly. "you're putting out bad karma."

heeseung just chuckles, leaning down to kiss your cheek. he leads you to a table, one matching the number on your invitations. heeseung greets the people at the table and you smile when he introduces you. you're about to take a seat when you spot sunghoon and his date walking over.

"oh great, we're sharing a table," heeseung comments sarcastically, slipping into his own seat. you lay a hand on heeseung's thigh in warning as you settle beside him.

sunghoon just smiles, coaxing his companion closer to him.

"you all look great tonight," sunghoon offers brightly to everyone at the table, eyes lingering just a second longer on you.

"this is wonyoung, but i'm sure you know who she is," sunghoon adds and the girl beside him visibly blushes.

you stop breathing when sunghoon situates himself on the chair beside you, his knee briefly knocking against yours. you feel heeseung tighten his hold on your hand.

you breeze through the program rather easily, mostly ignoring sunghoon's looming presence beside you and busying yourself with your boyfriend and his other classmates instead.

that is, until you feel fingers brush against your knee under the tablecloth.

he wouldn't dare.

would he?

you discreetly check on heeseung and he's animatedly discussing something with another guy who you learned was named jake. you chew on your lip nervously, trying to appear engaged in their conversation despite the undeniable press of sunghoon's fingertips on your knee.

you clear your throat, quickly knocking sunghoon's hand away.

"i might go for a quick smoke," you say a little sheepishly, laying a hand on heeseung's shoulder. "you wanna come with?"

heeseung pauses for a second but shakes his head. "you go ahead, baby. text me if you need anything, okay?"

you nod, tight-lipped as you smile at him. you grab your purse, and you mentally punch yourself for feeling relieved that heeseung said no.

you wouldn't dare.

would you?

you make brief eye contact with sunghoon as you stand, excusing yourself from the rest of the table.

you weave through the throng of people in the event hall, speedwalking through the lobby, and clambering down the stairs at the exit before finally arriving at the hotel parking lot.

you find a low wall towards the edge of the lot, deeming it clean enough for you to sit on. you hoist yourself up, letting your legs dangle from the edge.

you sit there, having gone through two whole sticks before you see a figure walking towards you.

"your boyfriend's looking for you," sunghoon declares, coming to a stop in front of you. from where you're seated on the wall, you're a good few inches taller than him now.

"is he really?" you ask, taking a drag from your cigarette. sunghoon doesn't say anything. after a moment, he holds his hand out.

you pass him the cigarette, watching as he inhales. his eyes don't leave yours as he steps closer, taking another drag before returning the stick back to you.

the cig is still half good but you extinguish it against the wall, dropping it into the concrete below. sunghoon's standing right in front of you now, hands smoothing up your thighs.

"you're really fucking gorgeous tonight," sunghoon blurts out, leaning in close.

you lay your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, letting sunghoon run the tip of his nose against your neck, inhaling deeply as if memorizing your scent. you exhale as you feel him kiss your shoulder, his finger discreetly nudging the strap of your dress down.

"not here," you warn, letting the strap stay down. you reach over to run your hands through sunghoon's hair near the nape of his neck.

not here.

not 'no' or 'stop it'. it's a 'yes', but not where everyone can see.

"my car is right there," sunghoon says matter-of-factly, turning to gesture at a black car just a few feet away.

you eye it thoughtfully, imagination already running wild as you estimate the wide backseat space of sunghoon's vehicle.

you're pulled out of your thoughts when you hear sunghoon laugh.

"whatever you're thinking, we can make it happen," sunghoon says, a seductive lilt evident in his voice. you turn to him, grasping his face in your hands.

you kiss him as if he's the only man you've ever wanted.

you kiss him as if breaking apart would kill you. even as he's pulling you off the wall from where you're seated, you make no move to part from his lips.

how you got into his backseat without tripping over yourselves is beyond you. but you're here now, your dress unzipped and pulled down to reveal your chest. sunghoon's tie is yanked loose, the first few buttons of his dress shirt undone. he's sitting, leaned back, with you perched on his lap.

"do you want it?" sunghoon questions, a hand grasping one of your boobs, his face pressed up against the side of your neck.

"yes," you gasp out. sunghoon grunts in your ear.

you lean back to let sunghoon undo his pants enough for him to pull them just below his half-hard dick. he wraps a large hand around his shaft, pulling you close, melding your lips together.

"middle console," sunghoon directs, guiding your hand behind you. you feel around the storage space, fingers finding the telltale foil material of a condom wrapper.

you hand it to sunghoon, breathing heavily as you watch him rip it open with his teeth. he expertly slides it down on himself with one hand, his other already pulling at your skirt.

you get it out of the way eventually, your hips hovering right above sunghoon's. you blindly guide sunghoon to your entrance, gasping when you feel his tip prod at your hole.

before you know it, you've sunk down on sunghoon completely, his strong arms bracing you against him, letting the both of you grow accustomed to each other.

"you're perfect," sunghoon babbles into your hair and you squeeze your eyes shut, guilt rising in your chest.

but all that falls away when you feel sunghoon angle his hips up, thrusting shallowly into you. you cry out into his shoulder, scrambling to hold yourself up so he can move a little more freely.

you plant your legs on either side of him, holding yourself up on your knees. sunghoon readjusts himself, holding you over him. you move your hips experimentally and both of you groan at how deep he goes inside you.

in the dark, cramped space of sunghoon's car, with the air conditioning set to lowest so as to not draw any attention to both of you, you start to ride him.

it's sloppy, messy, uncoordinated, but the desire that burns within both of you is enough to fuel you on. you pray in the back of your mind that no one comes this way, but your brain is largely occupied by sunghoon and sunghoon alone.

how he feels inside you, how hot his breath is against your chest, how sweet your name sounds coming from his mouth.

just as you're tiring, sunghoon maneuvers you so you're laying on the seat, your hands bracing against the door above you. sunghoon leans over you, slipping in once more. you spread your legs wider, and despite the awkward angle, all is forgotten once sunghoon moves.

the car is rocking softly now, you're sure of it, but the pleasure building inside you has you throwing all care out the window.

"you feel so good," you whimper, nails digging into sunghoon's shoulders.

"yeah?" sunghoon says. "better than heeseung-hyung?"

you're struck speechless, but sunghoon slams into you harder, as if demanding an answer.

"better than your arrogant boyfriend, hm?" sunghoon pries, pupils blown wide as he looks straight into your own eyes.

"i see the way he acts," sunghoon continues, spitting the words out harshly. "going around acting like he can pull anyone and everyone."

the words spark something primal in you. yes, yes, you're right!

"can't he see he has this perfect fucking pussy at his disposal?" sunghoon says through gritted teeth.

"yes," you finally relent, moaning wantonly when you feel sunghoon hit a certain spot within you. "fuck, you're so much better than him."

this sends sunghoon into a frenzy, fucking into you with abandon, the repeated and prolonged stretch in your pussy making your head spin and the muscles in your abdomen tighten.

"come on, love," sunghoon says, almost pleading. "need you to cum with me."

"oh god," you breathe out, one of your hands finding purchase on the headrest above you and the other tugging harshly at sunghoon's hair.

"yes, yes, sunghoon, shit, right there!"

sunghoon lets out a guttural sound as he cums, your own orgasm slamming into you with strength and magnitude you didn't know was possible for you to experience.

a minute passes. then two. the night is once again quiet, the distant sound of music coming from the event hall seemingly worlds away.

you and sunghoon hurriedly compose yourselves, erasing any trace of what just transpired.

on the other side of the wall from where you sat merely minutes before, cigarette butts and a knotted condom lie forgotten, the only evidence of your ultimate undoing.

---

"you seem exhausted, babe," heeseung comments, casting a sideways glance at you. you lean against the passenger side window, your eyes heavy with sleep.

the city lights zoom past you as heeseung drives down the highway with little interruption, seeing as it's past midnight on a weekday.

"yeah, i'm just not used to wearing heels for that long," you supply, yawning just as you get the sentence out.

heeseung lays a comforting hand on your thigh. you place your own hand on top of his, grasping his fingers in yours. if he notices just how hard you're squeezing, he doesn't comment on it.

"i love you," heeseung says, bringing your joined hands up to his lips.

a pause.

"i love you, too," comes your quiet reply.

[loveephia]

A FOOL FOR YOU | suna rintarō

sypnosis: suna pranks you on april fools day.

content: (🦷) tooth-rotting fluff, dynamic is inspired by tohru honda and kyo sohma from fruits basket (i miss them 😞), kinda inspired by "cupid" by fifty fifty.

⚠ warning/s: none.

note: yikes. writer's block has been HEAVY on me lately (my way of saying i just didn't have time irl to write). thank you for being patient with me, and enjoy this lil gift!! ;D

"what day is it today?" suna rintarō asks.

you turn your phone on and look at the date. "april first!"

"okay, today is april fools, right? a day where it's okay to joke around?" suna says, putting his walk to a halt. you turn around, confused at the sudden stop. "suna?"

"i like you."

you blink at him. "wait, what—?"

"your eyes are so sparkly that i think i'll go blind from looking for too long. whenever you skip over to greet me every morning, your hair bounces with every step, and i find it so stupidly adorable. your personality is nowhere near mine, yet you stick around and always try to get something out of me."

you're at loss for words, but suna isn't.

he has yet to finish.

"at first, you were very irritating. i thought that you were naïve and a bit of a clutz, which is sorta true," you let out a small "oh" before suna continues. "but you're a hard-working girl. you make an effort every day to keep your friends happy, and you notice the littlest things that upset them." suna leans down, quite close to you.

"you aren't the only one who notices the little things, though." you can't even find a reply, too flustered from the entirety of suna's ramble.

suna's taking in every bit of your expression right now. cheeks and ears burning galore, with a lost little look on your face. just how he wanted.

"hey," he placed a hand on your shoulder, "i hope you remember that it's april fools. so don't take it too seriously."

too.. seriously..

so with a pat goodbye, suna leaves you standing there, absolutely frozen, while he whistles a tune. he practically broke you!

no, you knew suna better than that. you knew he meant every word that fell from his lips.

so with an excited smile, you rush over and catch up to suna, giving him a giant back hug. "that wasn't a very believable prank, suna." you mumbled into his uniform.

suna shrugs half-heartedly, "welp, i tried."

© lowercase intended | loveephia

[mangocustard16]

Midnight Surprises

| synopsis: Minghao's birthday takes an unexpected turn as he's pranked with a shocking heart stopping surprise, leading to laughter, cake, and a heartwarming cuddle under the moonlight.

| pairing: bf!minghao x gn!reader

| warnings: mentions of fake blood

| genre: fluff, prank

| a/n: established relationship, don't do stuff like this irl kids.

| w.c: 580

Minghao had just finished another grueling practice session with his fellow members. As the clock struck midnight, his members surprised him with a cake, singing "Happy Birthday" with bright smiles and sparkly eyes. Minghao's heart swelled with joy, and he thanked them profusely, feeling the warmth of their friendship.

After the heartfelt celebration, his members left one by one, leaving Minghao alone in his practice room. He checked his buzzing phone, anticipating a birthday message from you. But as he scrolled through his notifications, a trace of disappointment crept in. There was no message from you.

Assuming that you must have been tired and fallen asleep, he made his way home, eager to spend some quality time with you. Minghao tiptoed into the dimly lit apartment, trying not to wake you, and then turned on the lights in the kitchen.

What he found there made his heart leap into his throat. You were sprawled across the kitchen floor, eerily still, with what seemed like blood smeared around you.

Minghao's initial shock and panic overwhelmed him. He ran to your side, his eyes welling up with tears as he cradled your lifeless body in his trembling arms. Just as he was on the verge of hysteria, you slowly opened your eyes, and a sly grin crept across your face. "Gotcha!" you exclaimed, watching as his eyes filled with confusion and realization.

Minghao couldn't believe it. He gently hit your arm, playfully scolding you for your mischievous prank. "Where did you even get all that fake blood from?" he asked, a mixture of relief and laughter in his voice.

You chuckled and explained, "Well, it's a good thing your birthday falls right after Halloween. I couldn't resist the opportunity for a little scare. Happy birthday, Minghao!"

After the initial shock and playful scolding, Minghao couldn't stay mad at you for long. He was just grateful that you were alright and that it was all in good fun. He helped you clean up the fake blood and then, with a chuckle, you both retrieved the birthday cake from the fridge. It was a delicious-looking cake with candles that were still burning. Minghao made a wish and blew out the candles, with you cheering him on.

With the cake cut into slices, you both settled down at the kitchen table to enjoy a late-night snack. Minghao's earlier disappointment had melted away, replaced by the warmth of your presence and the laughter you shared.

After indulging in a slice of cake and a glass of milk, you yawned and stretched, feeling the exhaustion of the day catch up to you. Minghao's eyes sparkled as he suggested, "How about we clean up tomorrow and head to bed now?" You readily agreed.

Together, you cleaned up the cake crumbs and placed the leftover cake back in the fridge. Holding hands, you walked to the bedroom. As you climbed into bed, Minghao cuddled you close, wrapping his arms around you protectively. The excitement of the day had now subsided, and a sense of contentment filled the room.

With a gentle smile, Minghao whispered, "Thank you for making my birthday memorable, even if you did scare me half to death." You snuggled closer to him, nuzzling your head against his chest. "You're welcome, Minghao. I promise, no more scary surprises. Just sweet ones from now on." With that, you both closed your eyes, ready to drift off to sleep, knowing that your love and laughter would make this birthday a cherished memory.

@kflixnet

[eoieopda]

svt as attorneys

this was partly inspired by this tiktok. i’m a trial attorney irl and wanted to chime in with my personal headcanons based on the kind of counsel i frequently deal with. for legal reasons, this is a joke.

seungcheol & jihoon — watch out for these two. they’re going to be unassuming & agreeable during pre-trial hearings, and they may even give off the impression that they’re each just a lil fella 🤏🏻 in a big courtroom, but when trial comes around? x-games mode. seriously, who the fuck is that monster, and where has he been until now? even if you win, you’re gonna stumble out of the courthouse with 1% of your life force left.

jeonghan & minghao — the most infuriating thing about them is that they don’t put on much of a case at all?? they just?? gaslight their way through it?? they manage to grab hold of a single, relatively insignificant thread, and they pull and pull and pull until your immaculately structured argument completely unravels. with just a crumb of effort, they have manipulated the jury and ruined your life. rip, diva. it was a good run.

joshua & mingyu — they reek of “big law”. they both come from some giant, (inter)national firm (probably founded by a family member), and you know what? they don’t even really practice your specific area of law. it doesn’t matter. they’re well-dressed, extremely charming, and the jury doesn’t care that they’re talking circular nonsense because their eyes are so sparkly. and because their retainers/fees a) are astronomical and b) aren’t contingent, their only real goal is to make the judge fall in love with them. they succeed. in fact, they’re going golfing together next weekend 😔

junhui — sorry to this man, but he’s either asleep at the counsel table, or he’s secretly playing fruit ninja on his phone underneath said table (people still play this in the year of our lord, 2024??). he doesn’t do a thing during trial itself but will come out with the most aggressive and dramatic closing arguments you’ve ever heard before dipping out without another word. you never see him again, and you’re not even sure if he’s actually real.

soonyoung & seokmin — they’re the type to walk into the attorney conference room outside the courtroom and ask you what the case is about/who their client is. they’ve each absolutely slipped up and called the judge/magistrate “your majesty”. they have no idea what’s going on, and for some reason, you can’t even be mad at them for their incompetence? because they’re just so likable as people? do not hire these men. if you have hired one of these men, fire him immediately, and ask him to get your case file out of his base model kia rio (where he’s kept it & forgotten about it) and give it back to you, expeditiously.

wonwoo & vernon — these big-brained motherfuckers have no pulse. they’re absolutely unflappable. they never raise their voice, never react with more than a nod or a thoughtful “aaah”. they’re silent killers, though; and they’ll blow your shit up without emoting once. their reactions to getting an acquittal or preventing a multi-million dollar award in damages? “wow 😐”

seungkwan & chan — the “true believers”, 100%. they’re junior attorneys with a lot to prove. unlike most attorneys who argue their client’s position, these two fully, personally assume it. even if their client is batshit insane, they’re completely on board; they both can and will die on this hill. (ex: “your honor, the meth lab in my client’s house was created and operated by the unnamed man who lives in his truck in the woods out back. my client had no idea it was in his kitchen. look deeply into his eyes, past the glassiness, and see his innocence!”). they’ll each argue and argue and argue until they walk out hoarse, and when they lose (not due to lack of ability but because their overzealousness scares the jury), they’ll probably cry in their car in the parking lot 😕

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 5

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); oral sex f!receiving; anxiety; very toxic trauma revisited

Chapter Word Count: 15.8k

Covet Masterlist

a/n: a chapter i've been waiting soooo long to share!! ahh!! i have had the exact performance from this chapter in my mind for a long ass time. i would SO appreciate for you to watch it to get a glimpse of exactly what's been sitting in my mind for months. i will link it for all you to see :)

i hope you enjoy, loves!

The Talk On The Street that you witness in this chapter :) I've always imagined their irl Otus Supply gig from August of '17 as their first one in Covet!

-🌼🌼🌼-

You ended up spending breakfast and lunch with Elsie while shopping. Nothing replenished your cup more than spending time with your sister. 

And because she was away for her career ninety percent of the time, you relished in whatever time you could get with her. 

Though, you still hadn’t found anything to wear. You’d scraped almost every store at Kings Plaza, and you were about to just settle on something you already had at home. 

But you hadn’t let yourself get there yet. The main reason being, you wanted to find something that would make you look alluring. You didn’t have anything in your closet that matched this idea you had in mind. 

Because even if you couldn’t be with Jake, you were still a woman who was attracted to him. And naturally, if you’re attracted to a man, you want him to be attracted to you, too. 

So, you loved the idea of finding an outfit that would entice him.

You were afraid your plan wasn’t going to wind up working out too well, considering you’d gotten a text from Josh requesting that you stand close to the stage. He had mentioned wanting you to be close so he could see Elsie. He was so damn gone for your sister. It was ridiculous.

So, of course, when you’d received that text, you knew in your mind you weren’t going to leave Elsie all by herself at the front. 

So, here you were shopping for an outfit to make Jake’s jaw drop. 

Except for the fact that, so far, no store in the entire shopping center seemed to have the 

perfect thing.

Elsie was only halfway in the same boat on her clothes journey. She had found a top, but no bottoms. And try as she might, you knew Elsie had the biggest crush on Josh. On several occasions that day, she’d brought up how excited she was to hear him sing. She’d quickly correct herself to say she was excited to see them all play. And she’d kept asking questions about Josh specifically. 

And her outfit. . . She hadn’t said she had the same plan with hers as you did with yours, but you knew she did. The top was already a barely-there sparkly black one. It left almost nothing to the imagination, being mostly a sparkly bralette with a couple pieces of sheer  fabric to create a shiny, cropped opening that revealed her toned stomach. 

You actually weren’t overly jazzed to be seen next to Elsie tonight. You’d always felt she was prettier than you. And it never failed, she’d always gotten more male attention than you did. . . 

You had this gut wrenching feeling that Jake would only be looking at her, no matter how sexy you were trying to make your (currently non-existent) outfit. 

“Y/n, what about this?” 

You looked over from the rack you’d been flipping through pointlessly. It was Elsie’s idea to come in here for the pleather pants she was intent on wearing. She seemed determined to kill two birds with one stone and also find your outfit while in the store.

She was holding up a sequined black bustier. It was hot, but it seemed too obviously sexy. You didn’t want it to seem too apparent that you were trying to look so good. You needed it to be a more subtle kind of alluring. 

You scrunched your nose and shook your head. “No, too much.”

She rolled her eyes. She was tired of you shooting her options down. But you didn’t want to just buy something because she thought it was best. You wanted to feel totally confident in what you were going to wear. 

Then, you turned your attention back to the rack that had already proven  it wasn’t holding what you wanted. You just didn’t know what to do at this point. 

Your attention was pulled away when Elsie squealed. She’d found the pleather bell bottoms she had been intent on finding all day. 

You smiled at her, but your heart fell. You were not feeling too good about tonight. Maybe this shopping trip was a sign that you really shouldn’t go. 

You didn’t want to look like a dumpster fire in something that just didn’t fit the vibe. You went to tell Elsie that you were going to wait outside the store and her face softened at the plain look of sadness on your face. 

She knew how you let tiny things build up until they were one big thing that made you feel inevitably hopeless. And today had included several little shitty things on top of the one giant thing that had been playing on a loop in your mind since last night. 

You couldn’t believe you’d yelled at him. It honestly hurt your heart to think of how you’d reacted to the situation. You could have handled it better, but you still weren’t sure how else you should’ve cut it off. 

It shouldn’t have even been happening in the first place. You’d crossed a line that you were already feeling tempted to cross again. . .even when you knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. 

You hadn’t talked to Elsie about it, which was strange. There were no secrets between the two of you, but you didn’t even know how to broach the subject with her. The last time you’d talked to her about Jake, you’d thought that you hated him. 

And now. . .you knew for a fact you didn’t hate him. You didn’t know what you felt for him, but it sure wasn’t anything close to hatred.

He’d pissed you the fuck off on multiple occasions. But as you’d reflected this morning, it seemed that recently, he had decided to change his ways. You could hear Josh’s voice now saying something along the lines of: 

“He was hurting. How he’d acted before, that’s not him. Give him a chance to show himself.” 

And now, in your heart, you knew that the Josh in your head was right. When someone had been wounded as Jake had been, and had years stripped away from his life for virtually no reason. . .they’d definitely be entitled to acting angry and unlike themselves. He’d been through a lot.

You just didn’t have all the patience in the world for it as the beginning of your childhood had been less than sunny, and you didn’t ever remember being so rude to people who didn’t deserve it. All you’d been was kind to Jake in those first interactions you’d had with him. But it had seemed anytime you wanted to make things good between you two, he made sure to squander it with his pissant attitude. 

Let it go, y/n, said the little voice in your head that was trying to reason with you. What has he been like recently, hm?

The voice in your head sounded an awful lot like Josh and Elsie. You grinned to yourself. They really would be the perfect pair. They were both so rational, so effortlessly wise and generous.

You and Jake, however? No way in hell you would be a good pair. Ninety-nine percent of the time, you two argued over the smallest, dumbest things— like pizza toppings (literally). That would make for an absolutely insane, headache of a relationship. 

But would it, y/n? The voice echoed again. What if when you put your guard down you figured out that you two could actually bring out the best in each other?

You gave it a little glimpse of a thought. 

Pfft. Yeah, right.

It didn’t even matter. It couldn’t happen.

You felt Elsie come and sit next to you, her tattooed shoulder lightly hitting your bare one. “What are we gonna do about you?” 

You laughed outright, because damn. It was funny how her question applied to literally your entire life right now. 

You looked at her, answering for the current situation. “I think I’ll just end up wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt,” you were frowning when you said it. And even if you had been smiling the biggest grin you could muster, she still wouldn’t have believed you. You didn’t even believe you—you just had a habit of saying things you didn’t mean when you were in a bad mood.

“Um, absolutely not,” she corrected, her voice gaining the same sense of sass that your mother had always possessed, before she’d left. “You are going to find something. Whether I have to drag you by your hair to do it or not.”

“Els. . .there’s nothing. We’ve looked and looked.”

“We haven’t looked at that store yet. . .” She nodded her head over to the store right next to the one you were currently sitting in front of. It did look like it had some cute stuff, just by looking in the windows. “Let’s go look there, okay?”

-🌼🌼🌼-

And what do you know, you ended up walking out of that store holding every damn piece of your outfit. 

“The older sister is always right, you know,” she nudged you, smirking. “You don’t have to admit it right now, but I will be waiting.”

You scoffed. “Oookay,” you walked out of the door to the mall, and headed to the car. She stayed right beside you. “You were totally right when you dated Keith for five years straight, even though he was nothing but a fuckin’ asshole who cheated on you and only ever treated you like trash.”

She gave a thoughtful look. “Fair,” then she shoved you, and you almost lost your balance. You both laughed. “But leave the past where it belongs.”

You instantly felt the need to fill her in on what happened last night. You didn’t fully want to, but you knew you had to. You wanted to leave the past where it belonged; move forward and let Jake be nearer to you, but you just couldn’t let yourself get there. And surely Elsie would have something wise to say to encourage you. She had been your main go-to person for your entire life. She had to be caught up. Even if you already knew she would find a way to boss you about it while giving her sage advice.

“It’s so weird you say something like that,” was all you remarked in that moment.

You stopped at the passenger side door. Elsie had driven your Jetta to the mall. All through college, you two had shared the car. She claimed to miss driving since she didn’t get to do a lot of it with her current job. And you were never one to pass up the opportunity to not drive, being totally opposite her in that regard. Passenger Princess all the way.

You got in after she unlocked, and you each threw your bags in the back simultaneously. 

“Starbucks?” She looked over at you as she slipped her sunglasses on her face. 

Your eyes lit up as you said, “You already know the answer to that.”

Once she got to driving, she finally answered your initial statement. 

“Okay, what was it weird that I said?” She stopped at a red light, and let her fingers tap against the wheel while she turned down the ending notes to Elton John’s rendition of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.”

“The thing about the past,” you bit at the side of your thumb, a nervous habit you’d always had. She slapped your hand away from your face. 

“Quit.”

“Fuck you,” you responded.

“Fuck you! You’re gonna chew your whole thumb clean off someday and I’ll be right there telling you ‘I told you so’,” she went when the light turned green. “Anyways. . .”

“I’ve been thinking non-stop all day about something,” you continued. “It’s fucking ridiculous, but I need your help.”

Before you could say anything more, she’d made it to the Starbucks line. Already knowing your order, she placed them both quickly and scooted up to the window to pay and grab them.

And finally on your way back to the apartment, she responded. “Just spit it out, y/n,” she glanced over at you. “And my help isn’t ridiculous. It’s the best you’ll ever get.”

“Mm,” you replied sarcastically. “It has to do with my roommate.”

“Oh, fuck. What did he do now?” She replied, showing her humor at your annoyance with him. “Look at you slightly wrong? I'm excited to meet him, by the way. It’s actually one of the things I’m looking forward to most. Gotta see this villain in my sister’s life with my own eyes.”

You narrowed your eyes at the side of her head. “For your information, he’s a total jackass. I wish you’d just listen to me and understand that fact. But nooo, you must defend how awfully he treats your poor sister,” you grumbled. “And mock your poor sister at that.”

“I’m not going to hold anything against him when it’s obvious he’s the same as you, y/n,” she peeked over at you. “He reacts at other people when he’s had shit thrown his way.”

“Same as me?!” You shockingly answered, not at all believing she was comparing his assholery to anything you’d ever done. “I’ve never been a jerk because of my own life circumstances. Ne-ver.”

She snorted. “You obviously don’t remember being a particularly bratty 10-year-old. Oh, and 11-year-old. . .and how could I forget you being an occasional shithead 12-year-old,” You just sat in your seat, completely unaware of anything she could be referring to. “Your emotions with mom leaving after dad already had. . .they hit you hard, sis.”

“How do you remember how I acted? You were only a year older,” you rationalized. “If I can’t remember myself acting like that—which I really don’t, by the way—, how could you remember? We were both too young.”

She shrugged her shoulder. “We coped differently. . . Way differently,” she pursed her lips. “I had to be the protector, the defender. Even if I was only a year older, I felt responsible for you. I mean, even after we went to live with Grandma and Grandpa I felt that way. And you treated me and everyone else like fuckin’ dirt.”

“I don’t—.”

“Ask Grandma or Grandpa. Or better yet, both!” She seemed genuinely desperate for you to understand. And you were actually starting to get a few flashbacks you’d suppressed. “You did some terrible things as a kid to try to, what I can only assume now, protect your heart that was already hurting from a mother abandoning you.”

Suddenly, you had a jumbled mess of memories come back to you. Your mom was there at the beginning of the montage of moments, and you were screaming at her and crying for her not to leave. Then, there were instances of you screaming very similarly at Elsie for God-knows-what, retaliating at your grandparents for seemingly nothing. Why had you. . .?

“Why did I forget?” You felt tears climbing in from the back of your throat. “I mean, we all know I don’t like to think about mom, but. . . That’s all just how I reacted to her; it was my life after. She wasn’t even there. I just don’t—how could I. . .?”

She looked over at you, her own tear dripping down her cheek. She set a palm on your thigh and gave it a loving squeeze. “That’s just it. She wasn’t there with you, but she had marred you. You were distraught, y/n. And understandably so. She was your mom and she left you,” she rubbed a thumb against the wheel, sniffling. “Some kids repress and compartmentalize shit until it’s almost gone when they’ve experienced mass amounts of trauma,” she paused. “That’s you,” she motioned her head to indicate who she was referring to. “And then there are some who can't forget a damned thing, no matter how hard they try. Me. It’s an extremely unfortunate gift.”

Now the memories were actually flooding your mind at an uncomfortable speed. You didn’t like what you were remembering. It wasn’t pleasant, and it included a lot of screaming, pulling of hair, slamming doors, breaking precious things, and . . . 

You suddenly had a cold chill run up your spine from one particular reapproaching memory.

“Did I slap you?”

She chuckled. “Once or twice.”

“It’s not funny, Elsie,” you reminded her, feeling extremely guilty. “I can’t believe I . . .” You shook your head. 

“It was a long time ago, sis,” she continued to rub your leg. “I’ve moved on. Anytime you did any of that stuff, I moved on as soon as you’d done it.”

You wrinkled your brow and felt a couple of teardrops hit your bare thigh. “But. . .why?”

“You were in pain and somehow, I just knew it. Even if I was just a kid, I’d been forced to be the one to take care of you, become the adult, I guess. I knew then it wouldn’t be fair for me to hold something against you that you probably didn’t mean. I knew the only reason you were acting that way was because someone else had hurt you,” she shook her head. You heard a sniffle come from her. Her voice was wet when she spoke next. “It wasn’t all your fault. It was mostly mom’s. You just didn’t know how to react to it.” 

And for the rest of the ride to your place, you were extremely pensive. There was an empty feeling that accompanied the tears that were still sitting at your tear ducts. You’d occasionally get this weary feeling of not being enough, feeling empty. And you knew that so many of your struggles with control and worry—your affinity for anxiety. . .it all came from your inability to be a child and your lack of a mother. She truly had left you so broken. 

You had a feeling you knew why she’d chosen now as the time to tell you all of that. Hearing it all allowed you to put your own (or rather someone else’s) current life events into perspective. 

Your tricky ass sister. Why did she always have to bring so much sense to everything? Could she just let you be irrational for once?

You felt more tears grow in your eyes, now feeling guilty for an entirely different reason. 

“I know why you told me,” you cried. There was no denying that you were full-on blubbering at this point. “Sneaky ass bitch.”

It made Elsie giggle through her own tear-fest she was having in the driver’s seat. “You’re welcome.”

And, in normal fashion for the two of you, you started dying laughing in the midst of sobbing.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You looked out the window, nearing the apartment. The trees, the skies, people laughing—those were beautiful things. Any memory associated with your mom was not. You despised just how much your mom could get in your head. 

She’d hurt you so much. The things that had happened before she left, the way she’d left, the way you (now) remembered reacting to the pain as a child. You pondered how all of these things combined were most likely the reason you hated to think of her. So, essentially, these happenings from your past were the reason you shoved everything else in your life down . . . You’d gotten used to doing it when things got too uncomfortable to think about. 

And dammit, if it hadn’t worked so far; you weren’t even close to being ready to let her enter your mind for too long. 

But Jake? You couldn’t stop thinking about how wrong you’d been to judge him. Hearing what you had from your sister made you feel ready. Ready to open up to the idea of him. 

Whatever that idea may be.

Once you got back to your apartment, you used all your energy to shut out the bad thoughts and closed off any lingering thought of your mom. When she’d suddenly popped up in the midst of you remembering events from your past, you were instantly disgusted and saddened at the sight of her. 

You could see her so clearly in your memories—it was too much.

And, you would rather not ruin your day by feeling the heaviness only your mom could bring.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You’d tried on your outfits, and afterwards, you two had put on bikinis, deciding to sunbathe. She was gearing up to head out of your home to the apartment pool when she stopped at the door. 

“So, the thing you wanted to talk about with Jake, and the past. . .was it you being annoyed with him again? Like, did we fix that?”

Thankfully your roommate was gone, so if you wanted, you could divulge the information that had been on the tip of your tongue without any worries that he’d accidentally hear. 

You shrugged. “I mean, we fixed the whole ‘me giving him grace’ part. I needed that.” You added, “Since I used to apparently deal with things way worse than he’s dealt with his shitty breakup.”

“It wasn’t way worse, y/n,” she tried to reassure. 

“He has never really screamed at me or done anything even close to hitting. I could never imagine him getting physically angry with me. Maybe other people,” Your cheeks heated, thinking of the guy in the record store. A knowing smirk came to your face. “But not me,” you looked off for a minute, deciding to tell her what you’d thought about that morning in bed. “And lately I’ve realized that he has actually really been changing his ways. He’s been a completely different person for the past few days.”

“Okay, wait, who’s ‘other people’?” She air-quoted, eyeing you, growing her own smile. “And changing his ways, how, exactly? I believe it; I bet he’s healing. . . Spill the tea.”

You shook your head. “Maybe another time,” you looked down at your feet and sighed. “I do need you to know one thing. . .,” you rubbed your tongue against the backs of your teeth, deciding you just had to tell her. “What if I told you that, hypothetically. . .I don’t know, we made out last night?”

Her eyes bulged, and she took a step closer to you. “What?!”

“Hypothetically,” you reminded her, for no reason at all. Since it was definitely not hypothetical. “If we like dry humped in my bedroom and shit,” her mouth dropped open. “I really don’t need your advice. I just. . . Well, earlier, I was going to ask if the past things he’d done made a difference in anything, but. . .,” You trailed off, getting stuck on your sister’s stunned expression.

“I’m sorry,” she held her thumb and pointer finger to her forehead, closing her eyes. “I'm just letting this all sink in.”

“But, I mean, the past wasn’t really a factor at all. I didn’t need validation with the whole ‘he was an asshole, so is it okay?’ thing. I don’t even really know why I used that wording,” you watched as she looked down, shaking her head. Her eyes were still humongous. “But you told me what you told me and I needed to know all of that for several reasons. So I guess I worded it that way for that purpose without even knowing it?”

“I don’t fucking know, y/n. You say shit weird sometimes. You usually speak before you think,” she looked over you. “And now it sounds like you’re acting before you think.”

You gestured your hands at her as if to say ‘ta da!’ “And therein lies the problem.”

“Well, shit. . .,” She looked at you, surveying you. “What are you gonna do?”

“Well, I came to my senses and I made him leave last night—.”

“You made him leave?!” She seemed even more shocked by that. 

“Well, yeah,” you affirmed. “It can’t happen. There’s no way in hell it’s a good idea.”

“And why is that?” She glared at you. “I thought you weren’t going to hold his shit against him anymore.”

“It’s not because of that,” you reassured. “First of all, we’re roommates—.”

“And that makes it hot as hell to pursue it,” she interrupted, a giggle at her lips. “And they were roommates,” she said, just like the Vine. You gave her a look. “Sorry. Go on.”

“I can’t risk losing Josh if something doesn’t work out.”

She shrugged and nodded, “I get that. The whole losing Josh thing. . .,” You raised a brow at her. “I meant that I wouldn’t want to lose my best friend either! That’s why I get it. No other reason.”

You tossed your eyes at that. “Mkay,” you disagreed, but you didn’t torment her with that. “And I can’t get in the way of him living out his dream like his past girlfriend did.”

“Who’s to say that would happen?” She countered.

“I just know it would,” you tried to answer in a way that left no room for argument. “And I’m not going to risk that either.”

“Y/n—.”

“Don’t question that he’d do that. Because he did it before and he’ll do it again.”

She slanted her eyes. Her mind was going a million miles a minute, you could tell. She had her thinking face on, getting a rebuttal ready.

“Did he want it?” She asked, tapping her chin.

“What?”

She rolled her eyes. “Did he want it? Kissing? Sex? Whatever. Did it seem like he wanted it?”

“I mean, he initiated the first kiss,” you decided to add a part that had repeated at least fifty times in your mind since it happened. “And he rubbed his hard fucking dick against me while telling me that I did that to him,” you blushed, retelling it. 

“Fuck,” her own cheeks got red at that, eyes getting big again. “That’s hot.”

You nodded, having to agree. And just hearing it coming from him. Hot damn. He was sexy as hell, and hearing him talk filthy had done something to you. There was a reason you’d replayed it more than a few times since. You smirked and nodded your head. “Right? And you don’t even know what he looks like.”

She looked pensive again. And after looking at you for a solid minute, you got annoyed.

“What are you thinking?” 

“Maybe you need to humble yourself,” she stated plainly. Your jaw dropped at that. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, but I’ve had a pretty good dosage of humbling today, if I do say so myself.”

She crossed her arms, her face still squinted at you. “No, I mean. . .what if he doesn’t love you like he loved her?”

Your heart fell to your knees at that, but you weren’t about to admit it to even yourself, or let it show that the words had hit you like a ton of bricks. You didn’t need him to love you, but dammit if that didn’t hurt just a bit for God knows what reason. 

You kept your features stony in your response. “What are you saying?”

You had a little flashback to him saying nearly the same words last night. And for a brief moment, you were back in that time. Your cheeks started to flame. You tried to shut it down before it went any further. 

You focused on your sister.

“I’m saying. . .what if it’s possible he could just want you in his bed and nothing else?” She scratched her head. “Would that hurt anything or anyone? I mean, you’ve made it seem to me that you don’t really have any emotional attachment to him. So if you did that, who would it hurt?”

“Elsie, that’s a stupid plan that could go horribly wrong,” she gasped at your insult to her idea. You leveled her with a stare at that. “And you know it.”

“I do, I do,” she reassured. “But what if you just cut it off when it starts to feel like too much?”

“You think I could do that?” You couldn’t believe you were actually starting to give substance to her idea in your head. 

“You’re pretty damn good at burying things right down to the pits of hell, so. . .,” She blinked at you. “What’s the harm in giving it a shot? I mean, just one time, at least?”

You were absolutely blown away that she was suggesting this. She was the level head in all situations, always being the one to offer the most sound advice. 

Her face said she was hiding something, though. Was there something behind this? What did she know that you didn’t? 

“What are you scheming?” You inquired, extremely curious. 

She placed a hand to her chest. “Me?! Scheming against my precious little sister? How dare you assume that.”

You rolled your eyes. “This isn’t normal for you; you know, to advise risky things and shit. 

She glanced to the side, letting her eyes wander mysteriously for a second. “I think it would be good for you to live on the edge. Just once.” 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Afterwards, the two of you got the sun you’d wanted. The apartment you lived in had a nice pool out back, and thankfully you’d made it out before a hoard of people had the same idea and came out to enjoy the sunshine on this nice, hot summer day. 

You’d laid there for about 20 minutes, and had made it a point to talk about almost anything but your enticing, long-haired roommate. 

But, Elsie being Elsie, had to bring him right back up. You wanted to avoid any mention of him, since your thoughts were incessantly badgering you with images of him. But, she seemed set on not letting him leave the conversation either. 

“I really am so excited to meet Jake,” she said, letting her back face the rays, her skin already browning well. She had an advantage since, recently, she’d been in several places for her job that had even more sun than New York.

“Yeah, okay, Els. I’m happy for you, but let’s not talk about him. ‘Kay?” You were still laying on your back, your thirty minute timer almost up for your front. “I’ve talked about him enough for one day.”

“We barely–.”

You gave her a look, bringing down your shades to show her your brows that were creased and your eyes were basically pleading.

“Fine, but I have to know something.”

You sighed loudly, and looked back up. You closed your eyes against the sun’s harsh light. “And what is that?”

“Does he look just like Josh?” 

You giggled at that. “Oh, so it’s about Josh? Yeah, let’s talk, Els. Pour your heart out.”

 She set her lips in a flat line. “Shut up. I don’t mean–I just wanted–,” she growled a huff. “You said before that they were twins, so . . .”

“Eh, I guess,” you relented, and compared the two. Yes, they definitely had similarities. But they had enough differences that you weren’t sure you’d be able to say they’re twins in a line up. “Jake looks like Jake, and Josh looks like Josh, but then sometimes they look like each other? I don’t know. Twins are interesting,” you figured you could explain a defining feature of your roommate’s to explain his appearance. She really had no clue what he looked like. “I mean, for instance, Jake has longer, wavy hair, while Josh’s is so curly, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” she replied, way too dreamily for it to be normal at all. “So curly.”

And when you turned around on your back, lying in silence next to Elsie, all your mind could think about were the beautiful, sharp features of Jake’s face, and every other piece of his body you seemed to always catch yourself looking at. 

You really did wish he was ugly.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Your mind was driving wildly out of control  with Elsie’s words. 

You couldn’t believe she’d recommend you doing something so thoughtless. 

She’d since left to go see your grandparents. And you’d used the hours since she left to let the idea sink in a little. And if Elsie thought it would be okay. . .surely it would be, right? She was never one to steer you wrong. She’d always told it like it was and helped you out when you needed it most. 

The more you thought about it, it seemed more like normal Elsie advice than you’d initially figured. She’d always been a fan of you letting loose just a tad bit. You barely ever did, and it drove her crazy how rigid you could be. She always said you were ‘in your head’ too much. And she was definitely right about that. 

What if you had been thinking too much about all of this? What if it wasn’t as much as you stressed about it being? 

She was probably right when she said he didn’t love you like he loved the girl from his past. There was no reason for Jake to feel that deeply for you. You definitely needed to be humbled, though, because you’d made up your mind that something was a certain way when there was literally no proof to validate it.

Had Jake been kinder to you as of late? Yes. But it absolutely didn’t mean anything more than just showing you that he was healing. And healing a decent enough amount to show you a better version of himself. 

But he had wanted you in your bed last night. You knew that for sure. With the way he was talking, and moving his lips and body. . . Your thigh still tingled with the feeling of him pressed against you. 

So, would it be so bad? If you finally made the move your body had been desperately wanting for the past month?

You were taken from your reverie when your phone started ringing from where you’d laid it to charge on your bed. 

You raced over, thinking it was probably Elsie calling to ask about something related to tonight. 

But, no, when you’d seen the name Lacey on the screen, you knew what you were about to hear. 

“Can you work my shift for me tonight, y/n?” She sounded like she was on the subway. It was so loud with so many voices on her end of the line. “I had something come up.”

You shut your eyes in complete and utter annoyance at your co-worker. She was so irresponsible. The only reason she worked at the B&G was because her uncle owned the place. Otherwise, she would have been out of a job a long time ago with how many times she’d called in or dropped the ball on something.

“Lacey. . .,” you started, trying to mask a groan at her.

“Please, y/n? I have to be at this thing tonight. I totally forgot about it.”

You heard a scream in the background and Lacey giggled. She quickly masked it. You could only imagine that she was at some party. It was a Saturday evening, after all.

You pulled the phone away from your face to see the time. 

“You really called me 20 minutes before your shift started to ask me this?” She mumbled a barely there ‘sorry’ which made you roll your eyes. You knew she wasn’t sorry in the slightest. “Fine. But you owe me.”

You’d wanted to respond with ‘Well, I have something tonight, too,’ but you had decided against that very quickly. You were the type of person to help anyone out, no matter how it inconvenienced you. One of your biggest pet peeves was someone who refused to be helpful, so you were not going to be that person. Even if, ironically, that happened to be the exact type of person you were currently helping out. 

She gave a quick ‘thank you!’, and then hung up to continue doing whatever she was doing. 

You were devastated. If you worked her shift, you were going to miss most, if not all, of the guys’ first show. You’d been so anxious to see it for weeks, and ever since you’d laid in your bed this morning, and convinced yourself to go, it had been the thing you’d been looking forward to all day. 

All thoughts that concerned the possibility of having sex with Jake left your mind as you could now only be pissed about having to work on a night you really didn’t want to.

You plugged your phone back in, quickly sending a text to Elsie that you’d be late. Walking over to give your outfit one final glance in the mirror, you saw a frown on your face as you stared into your own downturned eyes. You wanted so badly for Jake to see your look. After all, you had browsed for hours to find the perfect fit to impress him. 

The sun shone through the double paned  window in your bedroom. The thin rays of the late afternoon sun highlighted your skin, which had gotten a decent amount of bronze from laying out with your sister. Your makeup looked impeccable. You’d worked so hard on it. Your eyes were smokey, your cheeks contoured flawlessly, your shining highlighter drawing an eye to your cheekbones. You’d used a dark red lip color that never failed to make you feel appealing.

And your outfit. . . you could see so much of your skin. That had been the goal. You wanted him to see a lot of skin. 

The ensemble included a tanned, low-cut bralette that was padded to perfectly accentuate your chest. The tops of your breasts were exposed, making an impressive display of your cleavage. You’d even used some bronzer and highlighter in the middle crease and around the curves to make them look even bigger. Then there was the black leather belt with a patterned silver buckle around the waist of your black corduroy skirt, pulling it to a point that showed how toned your waist was. And the skirt came to rest only about an inch below your tight ass. You knew if you bent over, you’d be just one miniscule movement away from being exposed. 

Your skin heated at the idea of Jake possibly seeing your ass again. He had liked what he’d seen before– you knew this from his reaction in the hallway alone. 

The look was finally completed with a pair of black cowgirl boots (which you’d already had for God knows why) that had about a three inch heel. You’d also had time to put gentle curls in your hair before Lacey had effectively ruined your night. Your big gold hoops showed through.

You knew you looked damn good. And, at this point, you didn’t have time to change, so you were going to have to wear this outfit (that definitely wasn’t work-appropriate) to work. 

You turned off your curling iron and the lights as you got ready to leave. Then, you went ahead and put food in Stevie’s dish. 

And as you locked the front door, you decided that if the store wasn’t too busy, you’d shut down early to get to the show.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Unfortunately, the store was way busier than it usually ever was on a Saturday night. 

Of fucking course, you thought, going about cleaning up after the customers who put records in the wrong bins. Afterwards, you would check them out, with their massive collections, to leave. 

And the cycle went on and on. 

Around 6:30, something snapped you out of the process of ringing someone up at the register. The girl you were bagging the records up for raked her eyes over someone who’d just rung the bell of the shop, which signified the arrival of new customers. 

You looked over, ready to welcome in your new guest when you saw who it was. 

Jake was frozen next to the door, his big brown eyes only on your body as the girl nudged her friend. Your skin grew hot at his gaze. It felt validating that he couldn’t take his stare off of you. Your outfit had done exactly what you’d wanted it to.

You heard the girl say something under her breath about ‘the sexy guy at the door.’

And dammit if she wasn’t right. He looked particularly fine tonight. 

It didn’t help that seeing him brought Elsie’s plan back to the forefront of your mind. You could only think about how badly you wanted to cross the line and fuck him. You knew you’d be thinking about that every time you were around him until you acted on it. And at that moment, it was all you wanted to do.

His arms were covered by a black blazer with pinstripes, a black button down underneath. His shirt was open, all the way down to the top of his abdomen. The skin was beautifully bronzed, per usual, and glistened the slightest bit from him walking in long sleeves in the summer sun. 

And his thighs. . .God damn, they filled the black jeans he was wearing so well. 

Your customer’s voice asking for the total snapped you out of your trance, and your eyes landed back on her young, freckled face. 

When you got them finished checking out, they continued to stand there, ogling Jake. You were annoyed at their ridiculous behavior, and decided for all parties involved, it was best to get him out of the store. 

You clicked your heels right on over to him. And like always, his cologne infiltrated your senses and made your knees weak. You ignored it.

“What are you doing here, Jacob?” You challenged his presence, putting your hands on your hips. You were trying to act tough like you hadn’t just been fucking him with your eyes. 

His eyes darted to where your hands went, and then he grazed his eyes from your hands all the way to your blushing face. He licked his lips, and messed with a sheet he had folded in his right hand. 

He cleared his throat, “I just wanted you to have a setlist for tonight. Also, Elsie’s already there,” you weren’t surprised. She was always one to show up way earlier than she needed to. “And she mentioned you were stuck at work, so I came here to give it to you.”

He handed you the piece of paper he’d been holding, and you reached to get it. Your hands met briefly. It sent shockwaves into the pit of your stomach.

You nodded, trying to ignore the feeling. You bashfully replied, “Thanks,” peering briefly at the paper in your hands. “Why?”

“Just important to me that you had a copy,” he told you, stepping closer to you. His body was just centimeters away from your own. It set you aflame. You looked up at him through your lashes. “Also, I don’t know what the fuck happened last night, but please don’t let it be the reason you don’t come tonight,” he reached a hand up to tuck a curl behind your ear. “I really want you there.”

Your stomach swarmed with butterflies at him being so blatantly open with you. You were not used to this behavior from him. He was usually so closed off, you were fine with taking the bare minimum. But right now, after being so vulnerable last night, and after having you reject him, he was still standing in front of you, asking you to come see him perform. 

“Okay,” was all you could breathe out, looking between your bodies at how close they were.

After that, he gave you a fleeting smirk. 

And, as soon as he’d appeared, he was gone, out the door.

All you wanted was to follow him. The store be damned, even if it continued to be busy, you refused to miss too much of the night’s show.

-🌼🌼🌼-

That was why, an hour later, 30 minutes before close, you were turning lights off, barely checking to see if records were where they belonged. 

You had just finished checking out your (decided) last customers of the night, and while there weren’t anymore in the store, you wanted to take the opportunity to get the hell out.

Consequences be damned.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You’d sped in your VW to Baby’s All Right. It hadn’t taken long at all to get there since the venue was already only about 5 minutes from the B&G.

You’d texted Elsie telling her you were on your way early, to which she’d sent several clapping emojis, making sure to tell you she was at the very front, on Sammy’s side. 

The place was loud when you walked in. It was music you knew. At first, it sounded an awful lot like “Evil” by Howlin’ Wolf. And then you heard the beginning tears of an exquisite guitar solo. 

You almost tripped on your heels, you were walking so fast, ready to get in and see the magic Jake was creating with your own eyes. 

It was slightly difficult to push your way through bodies as smoothly as possible, since there were so many of them in the small room. The people seemed to be friendly enough to let you through. They were mostly too distracted by the boys playing to seem to care. 

You made it to Elsie in record time. She jumped and clapped her hands when she saw you, mimicking the joy from her text. 

But you only shot her a small crack of a grin. You had rushed in here for one thing—one person. And you easily let your eyes find him. 

And fucking hell, if he didn’t play like some sort of rock god. Your body heated as you watched him slide his fingers up and down the frets, and effortlessly make the beautiful notes fly from his cherry red guitar. 

You were amazed, to say the very least. You could officially claim that Sammy had been correct when he’d commented on Jake being a ‘living legend.’ He truly was incredible. 

Elsie bumped you, and you looked over to see her smiling so broad. She loudly whispered in your ear, “They’re killing it!” When you nodded and then leaned away to pay attention to Jake again, she pulled you back in, giddily telling you. “Josh asked me to stand close. He told me he wanted me where he could see me.”

Damn, Josh had grown some confidence to tell her that. You weren’t surprised he could activate it, since he was already naturally so charismatic. There was a huge possibility he had been running on adrenaline, because it seemed he was now for sure. 

You shook your head, tickled at her glee over your sweet best friend. 

“Oh, and Jake keeps checking over here for you,” she said. You questioned if he was really looking for you, but then she added, “He asked me at least three times before the show if I’d heard from you about when you’d be here.” 

Your eyes got huge at that, suddenly feeling nervous that he had been waiting on you. Though, of course, your mind sent a question to distract you from what you were feeling. 

“We exchanged numbers a long time ago, so I know he has my number. He could’ve asked me,” you stated, copying her loud whisper. “Why was he asking you?”

She smirked. “I think he’s a bit nervous. Has a good ‘ol crush on you, baby sis.”

You were confused by the contrast of his demeanor with you at the store, and the sort of shyness he was portraying to not contact you himself. 

He was so different from any other man you’d ever interacted with in your life. You never knew what he was thinking, whereas other men were so blatant about one thing. Jake was mysterious. And now, rather than making you irritated at his unpredictability as he used to, the mysteriousness was beginning to be one of your favorite traits of his. 

It kept you wanting more.

The shroud he’d covered himself with was tempting. There was so much to learn about him. And you were deciding quite rapidly that you wanted to learn every part of him—his mind, his body . . . All of it; be the one to pull back the intricate cover. 

Elsie went back to watching Josh closely, and you caught him giving her several grins and glancing over to see her. He smiled very wide when he saw you, and you beamed back at him, letting your thoughts flee for a moment, feeling the moment with your friend. You were so proud of him. 

You felt eyes on you, and when you found Jake again, Elsie’s words were confirmed. He was settling his eyes on you, not taking them off of you for a few steady moments. 

You felt your skin heat. Your tummy did somersaults at him looking at you while also playing the guitar like his life depended on it. He slid his hand smoothly down the neck of the guitar, and you imagined him—. 

You shook your head, having to look away from him for a brief moment. 

You flicked your eyes around to the other guys, who were all performing their hearts out. Who fucking knew they were hiding these incredible talents from you?!

You then heard Elsie loudly say Josh’s name, earning her a smirk from him. She was so smitten. 

But you couldn’t say much, because after  smiling at the very talented frontman, who just-so-happened to be your best friend, your eyes gravitated to Jake, of their own accord.

And you watched the way he rocked to the beats of the end of the song. It looked so similar to how you’d imagine his passion in bed. And those little faces you’d seen him make while playing?

Damn.

The ending notes to “Evil” rang through the crowded room, and the rest of the crowd erupted in cheers for the tribute song.

You reached a shaky hand into the pocket of your skirt, for the setlist you’d looked at a million times already. You saw the next song was one called “Talk On The Street.” You weren’t familiar with the tune, so you knew it was most likely an original of theirs. You were excited to hear their stuff, and a full song.

You were sad you’d missed the first four and a half songs because you’d had to work on behalf of your lazy ass coworker.

You cast your eyes past your curly headed confidant filling up the air with his good-natured humor. Your sight was drawn to Jake, whose back was turned as he meticulously messed with stuff on his amp and guitar. You didn’t pay attention to what Josh was saying, only really caring to observe Jake’s movements.

“One for good measure!” Josh finally said into his mic, attracting your line of sight as the audience yelled along with him, his hands raised into the air. “Yeah, that’s really off the hook.”

Jake finished getting the stuff behind him arranged for the next song. When he turned around, the bright smile on his face made your tummy flip. He was just so cute. And seeing him so genuinely happy made you feel so happy. 

He did one little strum, looking over like the big brother he was to make sure Sam was ready. 

And then, the song suddenly sparked to life. The way he strummed and manipulated the strings on the guitar—the steady concentration to his craft; it was truly like home for him to play. You could tell how easily it came to him, and you couldn’t help but feel so turned on by how in tune he was with his instrument. 

 He caught you looking at him, as he spared a glance over at you. Your face heated. He kept doing it, letting his gaze go to you and stay on you as he played his instrument so seamlessly well. It was one of the most erotic feelings you’d ever experienced, him looking at you while he played his guitar so well. 

He beamed again, in the middle of playing. He was reflecting the glee that was so apparent, all throughout the crowded room. You could just assume how much joy he was feeling at being able to finally live this dream he’d had for so long. 

He continued to hone in on you. It was like you were at the end of this invisible line that his eyes were connected to. The more he looked at you, the more confident you felt at the prospect of bringing up the possibility of having sex with him. . .just once, like Elsie had said. Perhaps doing that would get this feeling he’d created in you out of your system. 

It just felt so natural how he kept finding you with his eyes. It was almost as if you were a steady line for him to locate. He smiled a time or two when he’d look at you, making your stomach erupt in butterflies at the freedom in his expression. For the first time as a woman, you felt free— watching him. 

He went on to begin the shred of an incredible, literal jaw-dropping solo. Like, your mouth was absolutely opened in adoration. You weren’t sure if it was possible to look reasonably pretty when you were in such amazement. But you couldn’t help it. His talent had you stuck in place, with your mouth hanging in a grin at his ability. 

You perked your cheeks up, and shook your head at him as he continued to look for you, even while tearing up the guitar. He wanted you—needed you—to watch. And watch him you did. You let your eyes drop to trail over his dampened red chest, shining perfectly under the lights. 

The room was extremely warm. You felt for the guys as the bright stage lights shone down on their sweaty faces. You could tell Jake seemed to naturally get sweatier than the others. It was obvious why as he put every ounce of energy he had into his cherry red guitar. 

He leaned down over his guitar at one point, his body bent as he focused intently on playing his heart out. The face he made as he looked down, looking so eerily similar to how you could only imagine him looking while. . . 

You gulped, letting your eyes wander his body as he stood back up.

You watched his hips move in tandem with the guitar, only imagining how he could be using his body to meet yours rather than the hard body of his guitar. He caught your stare, and pinned you with his own. It was intense; he knew where your eyes had been. And he held you there as his hips thrusted to meet nothing but the hot air of the room. 

And the worst part was he wasn’t even trying to turn you on, it seemed. He was just doing his thing, enjoying how you were there to meet his gaze. It felt very personal. It was as if you were the only two people in the steaming hot room. 

He looked back to his guitar briefly, his lower lip pouted and his eyebrows drew together at the attention he gave the strings. He was looking down at the guitar the same way you wanted him looking down at you beneath him. His gaze intense, wanting nothing more than to please the strings—no, play the strings just right. 

You moved, feeling wet arousal meet the dark lace of your thong. And as he flipped his hair back, strands still stuck to his sweaty face, you knew putting those panties on had been the right fucking idea. 

And, of course, in no time, his eyes were on you again. He was not letting you go, save for the occasional review of his strings that were getting played so fuckin’ well. You wanted your body manipulated by his fingers the same damn way they manipulated those strings. 

He continued to move his hips to meet the air. His thick thighs were straining in his jeans, as he flexed them with the movements of his pelvis, which matched the melody he played perfectly. 

You squeezed your thighs together, and then he caught your gaze one more time. It felt like he was about to let you in on a secret. Yes, he was still focused on the song, but it seemed he was more intent on making sure you were focusing on him.

Then, his upper lip quirked in the sexiest way—and fucking hell.

You were done for when he threw his guitar behind his head like it was positively nothing. 

You felt yourself drip into your underwear at the sight; you were completely taken. 

How could a man be so fucking talented? He made everything he did look good as hell, but this? This was other worldly. His agility and strength. . .his stamina. 

Your thoughts were going haywire as your eyes made their way to his round ass in those black skinny jeans. And if those jeans didn’t hug him just right. . .fuck. You sucked in a breath. You felt a bead of sweat trickle between your breasts. 

You watched his arms flex, so tanned. So perfectly toned. His fingers moved on the frets like they normally would. They’d memorized the grooves years ago, it was obvious. His movements were so intentional. But this time, he couldn’t even see the instrument and it still sounded flawless. 

His attention to the craft—his skill. . .it made him even sexier.

His body was in tune with the guitar, moving so much. Then, he turned, bringing the guitar back where it had been laying at his waist. His hair seemed to fly in slow motion around his head as you watched him. And he was even sweatier (of course), which was a blessing and a curse to see. 

You stood there, watching him play out the rest of the song, completely awe-inspired and horny. His smile; his beautiful, shiny brown hair; the glint in his eyes as he once again scanned your figure. Your mouth dropped open for the umpteenth time that night, and your heart beat erratically in your chest. 

He had officially left you speechless and wanting more. 

There was no denying what you now knew you absolutely needed: Jake Kiszka in your bed.

-🌼🌼🌼-

The eclectic collection of music playing was loud and all around you as you sat at a booth with Josh, Elsie, and Sam. Jake and Danny still hadn’t shown up from backstage. Apparently they were talking with the man they’d recently found to be their manager, along with the manager of Baby’s All Right. 

You tried to stop stealing glances at the door that Josh and Sam had come from. You were anxiously anticipating seeing the man who’d destroyed you from the stage. But you tried your hardest to ignore the want to see him, and focused on Josh talking across from you.

He was so animated, his hands waving around. All of his teeth showed with his big, bright smile as he told little stories from their earlier rehearsal. Elsie sat between you and the singer, her chin resting in her hand as she listened intently to every word he said. He’d occasionally look over at her, and he’d grin, his eyes dreamy.

Smiling at them, you weren’t sure why neither of them had ever told the other how they felt. It was so obvious to everyone else. You noticed this fact as Sam, who sat on the other side of Josh, kept watching them, too, occasionally throwing looks at you, a knowing smirk resting on his face. You’d give him the same grin back. 

You were fidgeting as you watched, your fingers drumming against the table and occasionally twiddling together. You decided to put them under your legs, and when you did, you realized the backs of your thighs were sticking to the seat with sweat. Your knees were bouncing with the same unkempt,

nervous energy.

Glancing over at Sammy, you caught his eye again. You decided to take the opportunity to talk to him to fill the time. 

“So,” you began, his eyebrows perked up. He turned towards you, his arms crossed on the table. “You’ve been hiding your talents from me, too, huh?” 

He gave one of his classic laughs, the sound a vocal vibration rather than an actual laugh. “Well, I guess you could say so,” he winked. “I’m also in charge of playin’ the keys for a few of our songs. You just didn’t get the chance to see or hear that tonight.”

You opened your mouth with a grin and a gasp. “I can’t wait to witness that.” Then, you added, “I’m sure it’s freaking incredible.”

He stuck out his bottom lip, and then shrugged with a nod. “Yeah, it is.”

You felt some of your nerves dissipate as you talked with him. He was someone that could make you feel calm instantly, just as Josh could. You peeked over at him, seeing him taking a break from talking to let Elsie say something.

You snorted at Sam, and shook your head at him. He spoke sincerely, “I’m glad you were able to come tonight.”

But before you could respond, Danny came and sat down next to Sam. He’d brushed his black curls back, neatly into a ponytail. 

He joyfully greeted you as soon as he saw you, “Y/n!” He reached out a fist to fist bump you. You squeezed your hand out from under your thigh, and reciprocated, bringing your hand back to you with an explosion. “What’d ya think?!”

“It was unbelievable!” You excitedly responded, tucking your hand back where it had been. You kept your focus primarily on Danny, refusing the urge to give in to the temptation to look for your roommate, who hadn’t come with him. “I still can’t believe you were all concealing that magic from me for so long.”

And just as you said that, you felt the booth next to you dip, still keeping your line of sight on Danny and Sam. But you knew just who it was in the booth with you as the person scooted closer—you could smell his delicious cologne. You blinked, your stomach dipping a few times as you felt him come so close. You didn’t want to initiate any conversation with him; you weren’t sure you could trust yourself to not trip over your words. 

“Speaking of magic,” Sam continued, filling the space. He looked at Jake, who was now situating his body to mimick Sam’s, as he leaned onto the table. “I’m glad you decided to do the guitar-behind-the-head thing tonight. That was fuckin’ sick, Jake.”

You nervously went to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, and you ducked your head down to look at your thighs. When you did, you felt said guitarist’s thigh fit against yours. The sight of his thigh pressed to your bare one was enough to make you grow goosebumps. You let your eyes move over to his jean-clad lap. He then moved a bit to rub his hands down his thighs. You watched as his long fingers gripped his legs. You wanted him to touch yours the same. But, they didn’t. You followed his hands, which went to wrap back together on the table. He rubbed a thumb run smoothly over the top of his other hand. 

“Yeah,” he responded, then cleared his throat. You let your eyes find his face. You were so close, your eyes in direct view of the side of his tanned cheek. You could see every freckle, every scar on the smooth skin. “Figured it was the right time to pull that old trick out of the bag.” 

You weren’t ready when he moved his hand back to brush through his hair, his elbow coming back and almost connecting with your nose. You backed away just in time. He felt you jerk away, and he turned his head to you. 

When you caught his eyes, so close, you could see every fleck of the Amber in them, making his brown eyes that much more alluring. He looked concerned, and brought his hand up to your shoulder. The feeling of his skin on yours made your chest heat. “You okay?” He questioned, searching your face. 

His genuine concern was new to you, and it was as almost too much. All you could think about was the idea of his hands on other parts of your body. You didn’t want to look away, but the thoughts were becoming too much. “Y-yeah,” you honed in on your thighs again, distracting yourself. 

And when you looked down, you noticed him scoot the slightest bit away from you. And instantly missing the contact, you couldn’t stop your body from moving back over to him, reconnecting the side of your leg to his. 

You noticed him still just a bit at the action on your end, and then he relaxed into it. 

Danny broke the static in your brain. “How do you think it went, Jake?” 

“I,” he cleared his throat again, and at the same time, one of his hands came to rest on your thigh. It sent shockwaves to your brain. “I think it went pretty fuckin’ well,” he squeezed your thigh, then rubbed his thumb against the silky smooth skin (because, of course, you’d shaved everywhere to near perfection). His thumb drew shapes against your thigh, while his pinky skirted against the inside of your thigh. Your panties drew wetness. You were trying so hard not to show any reaction in front of the guys. 

You decided you’d take a drink from your Mojito, trying to get your senses loose, so you wouldn’t be so hyper focused. 

You felt a bit of the condensation from the outside of the glass drip against your leg. You clenched your legs at the feeling, trying to keep it from going into the crack your thighs made anytime they were pushed together. Jake reacted to this by smoothing his hand to the inside of your thighs. You focused hard on swallowing your drink as your tummy somersaulted, and your pussy clenched. You kept the skinny straw in your mouth, hoping it would mask whatever your face was surely doing. 

“Y/n,” Sammy said, bringing you in. You flicked your eyes up to his face, blinking once and setting your drink on the table. He seemed completely unaware of how Jake’s hand continued to move. “What did you think of Jake’s thingy?” 

Your eyes bugged a little, and you coughed on the drink that was still trying to make its way down. You tried swallowing, but the minty taste was burning your throat. And it just got worse when you tried to respond. You held a hand to your mouth, and decided it was probably best to excuse yourself. 

You needed to get away from Jake before anything else possibly happened in front of his brothers, anway.

You pointed to the back where the bathrooms were, and pushed against Jake to let you out. He got the clue that you needed to refresh, and moved until you were standing on your heels beside the table. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Using your hands as a bowl to gather water, you rinsed your throat once more with the sink water in the single stall women’s room. 

You dried your hands with a paper towel, and fixed some smudged mascara with it before you checked over yourself once more. Your outfit was holding up, still making your figure look tight. Grinning at yourself, you reached into your shirt to lift your boobs up, then smoothed your hands over your short skirt. 

Deciding you were good to go, you went to leave.

But when you pulled the door open, Jake was standing on the other side, his hand up, ready to knock. 

His hand slowly went down, and into one of his front pockets, his bicep flexing as he did so. You noticed how he licked his lips and took you in fully. 

You let yourself watch him as he watched you, admiring just how fucking beautiful he was. His long hair swooped to touch his shoulders, his tan and toned biceps snug in his fitted black button up. . . 

But— you were tired of this game. You didn’t want to just stare at him all the time. What you wanted was to finish what you’d stupidly cut off in your bedroom the night before. 

So, in a confident act, you stepped slowly, back into the bathroom, and made it obvious you were waiting for him, as you let your own gaze stay on him, eyes roaming his body. Your skin grew aflame as his lust-filled eyes found yours.

He stepped towards you, cautiously, as if prey were approaching a lion. But his stare was still intense as he followed you in, not afraid as prey might be, but confident and hungry for more. This had you suddenly starting to feel like the prey that wanted to be fucking devoured. 

You needed him. Now.

“Fuck me, Jake,” you tempted, voice so sultry and raspy. You were completely outside of yourself. There was no stopping this. You needed it. 

And that was all he needed. He took one last step into the bathroom, and shut the door harshly behind him, making quick work of locking the door. You studied his form, covered in black. His thighs looked so thick and ready to be straddled in his tight jeans. 

But, considering your situation, you weren’t thinking you’d get to do that tonight. Dammit. You backed up to the sink, knowing that was the only way you were going to make this possible. You were going to have to sit on it. 

You leaned against the porcelain, waiting for him. You bit your bottom lip when your eyes traveled down to see his hard cock that was stretching his jeans to the point of almost busting the zipper open. 

How was he already so. . .? He came to stand in front of you, and pressed his hips against yours, and you felt wet arousal gathering at the pressure from him. You needed that same pressure inside, filling you up. Your skin grew white hot at the thought.

“You knew just what the fuck you were doing with that little outfit, huh?” He told you, lowly in your ear.

He then did exactly what needed to be done, and lifted you by your thighs to sit you on the white porcelain sink. It was at a strangely perfect height for what needed to be done. It was like the restroom was made for this. 

You spread your legs, preparing to let him in, and all it did was make your thong moisten more. Your skirt rode all the way up to your waist. His eyes pored over your body and he came to stand right where you wanted him. He grasped the back of your neck in one hand, calloused fingers massaging the softness of the skin on your neck. He took five seconds to let his eyes behold yours, and then dove in. 

His lips met yours, which opened, ready for his tongue to entwine with your own. He readily let his tongue enter your mouth, and your eyes rolled back as it glided over and around yours. It fit so well in your mouth, you could only imagine what else would fit well in other places. You wanted—no, you needed more. 

You reached between your bodies, and held his belt buckle in your hands. You used your grip to bring his front even closer to yours, and when the front of his body met your lace-covered pussy, you couldn’t hide the soft whine that so easily came from your lips, and into his mouth. 

He groaned back, bucking his hips into you. And this time, the whine was louder— more of a mewl. He fed off of this, his tongue not leaving your mouth for a second. You pulled away, wanting his tongue in other places. 

Understanding, he let his tongue go all the way to the deepest valley between your perky breasts. He used a warm hand to untuck one breast from its place in your lacy top, and the nipple hardened on the spot. He leaned in to suck the soft nub into his mouth. He twirled around it, bringing a high pitched squeak from you. You heard a husky chuckle against the flesh. 

Then, he moved on, and licked down to the bottom of the deep v, all the way up to the edge of your jaw. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and pulled him in of their own accord. And he once again let his hips thrust up into yours. 

“Jake,” you cried. You reached to tangle your hands in his long brown locks. And just as you went to bravely roll your hips into his, he did the same. 

His soft lips still against your jaw, the two of you moaned loud. You were so relieved to be in a place that was quite literally bumping with music. 

He then backed away and took initiative. He unbuckled his pants and you made quick work of removing your panties. And when your bodies came back together, his dick was somehow still covered. 

You backed away, turning your eyebrows in as you saw his American Eagle boxer briefs that were stretched to hold his swollen dick. 

“Take off your fucking boxers,” you spouted, going to do it yourself despite your instructions. 

He pushed your hands away, his expression matching your own. “I have my own priorities.” 

And before you could snap back, he was getting down on his knees, still covered by his jeans to position his face at your leaking entrance. He grabbed your ass and pulled it closer to him. His breath felt hot against your wet and waiting folds. 

He then took the time to do the same thing he’d done when you started making out, and he gave your pink pussy the same lengthy gaze he’d given your eyes. 

It should have made you angry that he wasn’t starting on you yet, or just doing what you wanted first. 

But, instead, it made you have to bite your lip to hold back your whimper. The way he stared at your most private area was nothing short of intimate—romantic, even. 

Then, he peered up at you, this softness in his Amber-brown eyes as he did so, drinking you in. 

You felt yourself release more wetness as you observed him. His eyes were so open, so willing. When you sent him a small, sweet smile, he returned it, making your stomach erupt with a sort of secret intimacy. 

Once you’d had that quiet moment, he took that as a cue to begin. 

His perfect tongue licked from the end of your pussy, nearest your ass, up to the clit. And when he got to your bundle of nerves, it twitched in anticipation for his attention. He let his tongue swirl around it a few times, then nudged at the bottom of it with the very tip of his tongue, over and over. 

“Fuck,” you whined. You needed something to hold onto, so you grabbed his hair, pushing him closer into you. He hummed against you. You felt more wetness come from you, but he didn’t let it stay for long as he must’ve felt it against his chin and went to savor it with his waiting tongue. 

He continued on, and you let loose. You rocked your hips up to meet his tongue, every time he found your clit with it. Your body was vibrating with pleasure, as you felt the intense release coming so quickly. Your bud throbbed with need and he was so in tune, he wrapped his lips around it, sucking delicately while still letting the point of his tongue tease against it. You felt it coming as he did this, your impending orgasm just there— your clit throbbed with little jolts of need. 

You were close.

You fucked your pussy into his face—hard, his tongue finding your clit as it spasmed against him. You felt every nerve ending in your body set fire as you came, tensing, his mouth quickly moving to catch your wet release.

You came down from it slowly while he continued to lap at you, and you kept running your fingers through his hair, encouraging him to keep going as you felt more of your orgasm release onto his tongue. 

You looked down at him, realizing you hadn’t let yourself do that the entire time. And suddenly you knew you had to see it happen, just once. Because the sight of it right now, him catching every last bit of you, was enough to make you nearly faint. His eyebrows were concentrated just as they had been when he played his guitar so intricately. Maybe you’d need to let this happen again. 

You snapped out of your daze when you realized what you needed most in that moment, you still hadn’t gotten. You tapped Jake’s shoulder, and pushed yourself up into a more upright sitting position. 

He peered up at you, moving up from his position, his underwear tented even more than before. 

You reached your arms out, and wrapped them around his shoulders to bring him into you. You needed to feel him against you, inside of you. 

“I need you,” you breathed out, meeting his lips with yours as soon as you could. Having him here, so near to you, with the taste of you on his tongue—it all had you sighing into his warm mouth. 

He pulled away once more, and before you could get too disappointed, you opened your eyes to see he was stripping himself of his American Eagle printed boxer briefs. 

You would have giggled if the moment wasn’t taken over completely by you finally seeing his thick, tanned shaft for the first time. It bobbed in front of him, his precum leaking  from the tip. 

Your mouth was watering at the sight of him. 

You suddenly wished you weren’t in a cramped bathroom for your first—no, only—time having sex with him. You wanted to see all of him right now. His toned chest, his bare stomach—all of him, all at once. 

He tilted your chin up, so you could meet his eyes. You knew your eyes looked slightly sad. You couldn’t help feeling let down at the prospect of fucking him in a bathroom. For some reason, it seemed so wrong to do it like this. 

His expression was downcast. His eyebrows were turned in as he searched your face for more. “Y/n. . .,” he moved his hand from your chin to cup your cheek. “We don’t have to do this.”

You closed your eyes and shook your head. You weren’t sure how to say what you were thinking without it sounding like you viewed this as any more than it was—just sex. 

Yes, y/n, you reminded yourself. It is just fucking sex.

When you opened your eyes, you schooled your features and just let yourself live in the moment. “It’s nothing,” you reassured, both in response to your reaction and to remind yourself what this was. Nothing. It didn’t matter where you were, how not completely naked he was . . . “I want this, Jake. I promise.”

“We’re not going to do this if—.”

You shushed him gently, and put a finger to his lips. They were so velvety soft. All you wanted to do was kiss them again. So, you moved to put your arms around his shoulders once more. Feeling the head of his cock nudge between your folds, you bit back a moan. You were suddenly lightheaded, body buzzing with its want for him.

“Fuck, Jake,” you sighed, seeing his own eyes burning with wanton need. You smoothed your thumb over his cheek, leaning in to—.

“Y/n?!” You jumped when you heard Josh, his fist knocking heavily on the sturdy black door. “Sam said you choked, and I wanted to make sure you were okay!”

You hurriedly leapt off the sink, almost falling on your heels if Jake hadn’t reached out to help to steady you. 

“I’m-I’m okay, Joshy,” you responded in a much-too-cheerful tone, pulling your underwear up your legs, and your skirt over your ass. Jake started pulling his clothes up as you did. You were sad that this was coming to such an abrupt halt. “I was just taking a breather from all of the chaos!”

It was probably wrong to play on your anxiety, but you couldn’t think of any other excuse. And it wasn’t totally a lie. Your brain had been Jake-induced chaos when you’d started choking on your Mojito. 

“I’ll see you when you’re done,” he shouted, trying to fight the music for dominance. “But I gotta go find Jake, too. He said he was going to the bathroom, and now we can’t find him anywhere.”

You glared at the missing twin who was standing right in front of you. He was looking at you with a strange expression as you talked to Josh. He rolled his eyes at your look. 

You turned to comb through your fingers through your hair in the mirror. You caught sight of Jake, his face telling you just how much his disappointment matched your own at this being cut short. Although, there was something else lurking behind his eyes that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Your eyebrows dipped, studying him.

Still holding his gaze in the mirror, your heart beating so erratically, you responded, “I’ll help you, just give me a sec!”

He shouted back an ‘okay!’, and presumably went to continue looking for Jake. You took your eyes away from Jake in the mirror and turned on your heel, swallowing hard to face him. Your mind was going haywire with thoughts of your oblivious best friend and your smoking hot roommate who was looking extremely dispirited. 

The only thing that could come to you to say was, “I don’t want Josh to know.”

Jake scoffed at that and rubbed his forehead. He finished buckling his belt and ran a hand through his chestnut locks. “Fucking figures,” he responded harshly. 

“It’s not—,” you rubbed your forehead and groaned. You remembered his assumption about you and Josh, long ago when you’d established the rules. That wasn’t it at all. But how could you even begin to explain your thought process? You didn’t want to venture into that with him. Especially right now. You countered him with a pleading look. “I don’t want anyone to know, Jake,” you reasoned, adjusting your boobs in your shirt. 

He watched you do this, only momentarily, before his eyes hazed over with hurt. He pursed his lips, icily replying, “Of course you don’t.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“You wouldn’t ever want—no, you know what? Just go out there,” he brushed another hand through his hair. You watched every movement wistfully, wishing you could go back to having your hands tangled in the waves. “I’ll miraculously appear in a few minutes. Just go.”

You wanted to clarify it for him. Make sure he knew your heart in all of this. But you didn’t even understand where you were. You wanted a good fuck, yes, but why did you want it so badly from Jake? Was it only because he was sexy as hell? Or was there something lying underneath the surface that you were scared to address? No, surely not. You suppressed all of this for the time being, watching your heels as you went to the door. 

Once more, before leaving the small room, you chanced one more look in his direction. He was still so close to you it was making your head buzz and your heart pound, thinking of everything that had just transpired—everything that almost had. But his features were set, his mouth in a firm line and his eyes stony. 

You sighed, wanting to say so much, but not even knowing what you could say. You didn’t know what this was. You just knew you didn’t want this to be the last time. You still wanted this with him. The feelings you’d had, how close you’d been to him. It was so fucking amazing, and you got to see a soft, hidden version of him that you wanted to witness over and over again. You didn’t want to give up on the idea, but you didn’t know where in the hell his head was. 

You huffed and exited the bathroom, ignoring the pounding in your chest that was telling you to go back in and somehow fix the situation. You only hoped it could somehow weave itself out. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

For the rest of June, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him. 

Everything he did, you watched. He was just as pretty as he’d been before your stint in the bathroom—even more so after seeing him the way you had, being with him like that. 

Although, at that point, it wasn’t going any further than simply looking at him. Due to him being distant, once again, you were stuck with only getting a glance at him every now and again. Admittedly, it was ridiculous.

You didn’t know how to act around him. It was almost like you were back at square one—him being aloof and you not knowing what to do about it. You didn’t know what to say, so you’d tried putting New Girl on a few times when he was home to try and entice him to sit with you. At the very least, you just wanted to be near him like you’d been before. 

But he never came to sit with you. He’d stay in his bedroom. And if he had to come out for anything, all he’d offer was a little nod as he passed through. It was obvious he didn’t want anything to do with you. 

Had you hurt his feelings? It hadn’t been that serious. Right? How could it have made him so upset? 

Was it the opposite? Had he decided it was a giant mistake and this was how he was handling it? From the way he’d been with you that night, it seemed like that wasn’t very possible. . .but you wouldn't put it past him. If you were being honest, being with him seemed almost too good to be true. 

But, either way, whatever he was feeling, he was acting real mature about it.

So, when you’d go to watch the many other shows they’d been booked for in June, you stood near the back to watch and didn’t stick around afterwards to say hi. You’d text Josh that they’d done a great job (because every time, they seemed to wow you more and more than before). But, you didn’t want to force Jake to interact with you if that wasn’t what he wanted. 

But he was so goddamn electrifying when he’d perform, he never failed to undo you from his spot on the stage. And after every show, you’d go home and try your hardest to take care of it. But it never came close to how his mouth fulfilled you. 

By the end of the month, you had become more irritated with him than anything. Why did he have to handle the situation like a damn child? If it was disappointment he was feeling, it wasn’t like you hadn’t been extremely disappointed as well. But the difference was, you weren’t going to sap around and treat him like he barely existed. 

Though, despite him ignoring you, he was still all you wanted. You craved being with him. 

You were stuck on your desire to try and pursue it. You still wanted to fulfill the unadulterated lust that presented itself anytime you laid eyes on him. Your body would flare up with hot flames anytime you would think of the night at Baby’s All Right, see him on stage, or when his dark eyes would connect with yours at home. 

But you weren’t even close to touching on that with him if he wasn’t going to try to talk to you in any other circumstance. You’d wait until the next time he came to you with something. You weren’t going to poke and prod at him—you would let him come to you first. 

Because God forbid you piss Jake Kiszka off any fucking more than you apparently already had.

Jesus. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

July began with you starting a four week summer class on campus. Since you’d been struggling to care for writing as much as you once had, Elsie had advised you to take a writing course so you could work on relocating your passion for the craft.

And God already knew you could use something to distract you from your nonstop thoughts of your roommate.

When you’d shown up on the first day of class, you’d actually noticed a guy you’d dated your sophomore year of high school, Theodore. 

He’d moved away at the end of that year, so you had never been able to take it any further than a little teenage romance. He’d been a part of a lot of your firsts, including your first time. 

So, when you saw him, you were flooded with all sorts of memories and how close you’d felt to him once, a long time ago. Seeing him felt like taking a time machine to a carefree time in your past. And maybe feeling like a girl with no cares in the world—maybe that was what you needed to find your passion for writing again. 

Theo had always loved the art of writing with you. And thinking back on it, the other people in your life had quite loved how he could calm you when you could become too much. Save for Elsie. She’d despised that about him, claiming you needed to be able to fully be yourself with a partner. 

She had been happy when he’d moved away for that reason. She had been insistent that you’d blossomed into your own when he’d left.

But maybe having him back in your life would be just what you needed. Get your mind off Jake, and back where it belonged. 

He didn’t notice you until you were packing up after class, and he came over to you. 

You were just slinging your backpack over your shoulder when he approached.

“Y/n?” He asked, seeming excited to see you again. 

And you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t really awesome to see him as well. You winked at him. “I noticed you when I walked in. I was wondering if you’d eventually see me,” you grinned.

The biggest smile spread across his pale cheeks. Though, it didn’t do the same thing that Jake’s smile would do to you. It did feel nice for a guy to seem happy to see you, though. 

“Why didn’t you come sit with me?!” He leaned an arm on the professor’s podium. “I was back there all by myself,” he threw a thumb at the back of the room. 

You giggled. “I didn’t know if you’d recognize me.”

“I could never forget those big beautiful eyes,” his own eyes squinted with a smile. You knew you were blushing. He was still so sweet. He had the same boyish charm you’d fallen for as a girl.

You stepped out from behind your table, straightening your shoulders. You wrapped your backpack around them, and weren’t even thinking of your roommate when you asked him what you did next. 

“Why don’t we get together sometime? Maybe study, help each other out with the class?” 

He seemed genuinely surprised you’d ask. “I don’t think you need my help, you genius girl, but I’d love to see you outside of here.”

And again, he had you blushing. What was the harm in having an extra friend around?

-🌼🌼🌼-

After you left campus, you headed to the coffee shop where you were meeting Josh to catch up. It had been a while, with the band taking up so much of his time.

You were a little late getting there after standing to talk with Theo after class. But you knew it was fine as Josh was notoriously late. 

When you arrived, you ordered your drink and waited at a table in the back for your friend. 

And almost as soon as you got comfortable, your head snapped up at the sound of a child laughing. It always caught your attention, as you relished in seeing a child’s joy. You didn’t get the chance to feel such happiness as a kid, so you enjoyed seeing it in other children. 

But this time, when you looked up at the sound, the little girl connected eyes with you. Her eyes were still bright with her giggles, and you smiled back with a wave. The tall woman with her appeared to be her mother, who was also grinning wide at her child’s amusement. She was shaking her head, besotted by her child. 

Your heart clenched at the sight and sound, and you couldn’t put your finger on the exact emotion you were feeling. Watching this seemed to flip a switch in your brain that had grown dust over time due to being disregarded.

You turned away, letting the pair have their serene moment. You looked down at your chipped black nails, messing with them as you let your thoughts roam to your own mother. You hated thinking of her, and nothing ever really made you. Not even seeing a mom happy with her kid, but this time felt different. 

You hadn’t really taken time to ruminate on any thoughts of your mom after talking to Elsie about your childhood the other day. But you felt yourself going down that path now. Talking to your sister had brought up a lot of lost feelings. 

Were you only feeling jealous of the child? Was that the feeling that had pinched your heart? Since the absence of your mother was like a scabbed over wound, now broken fresh in your mind? 

You peeked over at the mother-daughter duo once more, and you realized it wasn’t necessarily jealousy. It was a deep seeded longing.

Your youth had been cut short by your mom leaving. You felt as though you’d lost so many essential pieces of you when she’d abandoned you. You wished you could find some way to experience that feeling of love that had been so lacking. 

You decided to put it out of your mind for the time being when you saw Josh enter the establishment, who seemed just as enamored, grinning and dancing with the vivacious child.  

Then, he caught your eye and you shared a sad look. His face seemed to say ‘I know.’ And for some reason, all you wanted was for Jake to be the one sharing this heart-rending moment with you, rather than his brother.

Strange. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: or is it so strange?... hm... please make sure to tell me what you thought and what you're looking forward to most! i love hearing from all of you <3 (ps: i promise sex is coming soon lmaooo)

Talk On The Street that reader witnessed!

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!

& as usual, it wouldn’t let me tag some of y’all. :( so please check to see that you’re down there because if you’ve asked to be on the taglist, i tried to tag you. buuuut tumblr wouldn’t let me do it for everyone 🙃 ugh. and if i somehow forgot to tag someone, please also let me know that! (i'm a NOOB and i have terrible memory)

Taglist: @joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @fretaganvleet, @lallisonl, @writingcold, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @jessicafg03, @reesetrippingthelight, @sacredjake, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @gretavangroove, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @way-to-go-lad, @jakekiszkasmommy, @katgvf, @objectsinspvce, @jaketlover, @vanfleeter, @thetroublegetssloud71, @seditabets, @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface, @jaketlove, @ohgodthefeeling-gvf, @starcatcher-jake, @anythingforjtk, @lucimoo, @indigostreakmorgan, @gretavanbear, @katelynn-gvf, @alwaysonthemend, @aintthatapity

[gynoids-over-androids]

I made a 3d editorial inspired by SCUM manifesto :) it was for an open call of an indie magazine and the topic was a mistake. So naturally I first thought of that quote about "biological mistakes". I was thinking a lot about these days how there's NO misandrist art or fashion so I decided to make some :)

I used materials that look like placenta and skin to reference this biological aspect.

I was also interested in exploring violence and womb envy. Color choices are very important in this work :pink and blue for gender id, deep blue for motherhood. The three dresses I made here are a nuclear explosion dress I designed like... three years ago in college, my vulva dress in a new version and this dress inspired by prehistoric venus statues to symbolize womb envy. I also used 3d models of skulls and guns.

The explosion dress has a slightly phallic shape to symbolize male violence.

The blue picture is about the male tradition of womb envy. The adult embryo one is a direct illustration of a "biological" mistake.

Just a dude afraid of a vulva lol #wombenvy. The ruffles are pussy lips, fur is for pubic hair, the hood is clitoral hood ofc. This is my favorite garment I ever designed and I'm planning to make it irl one day!

This one I call it "All the same" - garbage, a regular testicle and an extra pink sparkly feminine one :)

This is a man in a gynecology-patient position but the draped clothes cover a skull instead of a pregnant belly and a gun positioned like an erect penis to symbolize phallos as a tool of violence. I didn't show his face bc beheaded ppl are all about empowerment nowadays, right?

This is a picture of a dude with a latex garment covering his whole face and body. (>fetish). On the background I used guns and a barbed wire halo to symbolize the holiness of violence for the males. The lighting is pink and blue and he has smeared makeup on his face - I'll let you guess which movement does this reference.

I used CLO3D as my 3d software, it's a program for virtual fashion.

[songmingisthighs]

[8.07] dad!mingi × baby!sumin × baby!seeun (ft. uncles!ateez, dad!hongjoong and baby!minjae)

⇀ mingi really is that dad. an enabler dad.

⇁ i ended up writing this after mulling over it for a long ass while (not really but still, long enough) and at this point brat brigade's spam section is my baby!xikers dumping ground. but lookie @flowerboykun i wrote this idea !

⇁ disclaimer : the author is not forcing any ideas or form of relationship between irl characters. this fic is specifically for entertainment purposes

wc : 1.8 k

genre : fluff, dad!au, baby!au

When you first found out that you were pregnant, your first thought went straight to how much fun you'll have dressing your daughter up. Then you found out you were having a boy and Mingi immediately cried because now he can have his twin. Then the second time you got pregnant, you were still hoping to have a girl to dress in frilly clothes and shove the fact that now you have your own twin to Mingi's face. But that day, in the doctor's office, with Mingi and Sumin with his custom baby Gucci beret in his arms, you found out that you were having another boy. It wasn't like you don't want your children, it was just that you know having two boys means that Mingi's going to have so much fun coordinating both boys' outfits.

So now, when Sumin and Seeun reached 5 and 4 years old respectively, you weren't even surprised that Mingi had dedicated a whole Instagram page to document the daily outfits that he coordinated for them. As pissy as you were that you couldn't dress your daughter in pink tutus or sparkly tops, you have to admit that they looked absolutely precious in the outfit their dad had so passionately picked for them.

Sumin is almost always dressed in how Mingi would be dressed on stage, a muted version of his flashy fashion while Seeun is more often than not dressed as a sporty-casual Mingi. They have their own unique styles, of course, but Mingi would always make sure that whenever they go out, people will IMMEDIATELY recognize them as siblings. And now, he had (somehow) managed to rope you into coordinating outfits as a family which you (and Seonghwa as the eldest representative) had limited to special events only because people (Wooyoung) began teasing you both by using the pictures you posted on Instagram and photoshopping them on advertisements (the worst one was for a hemorrhoid cream) which annoyed you (you taking his old as fuck Bathing Ape jacket and threatening to rip it to shreds and use them to wipe your children's snots). Nevertheless, both brothers love being dressed up by their dads so much and you were absolutely grateful for the fact that they never fought over who gets to wear what when, it had always been civil between them and they even do this bit of commenting on each other's outfits just before they go out. It's safe to say that at ages 5 and 4, they can differentiate between Houndstooth and Glen Check, and which is Louis Vuitton and which is Gucci. Yeah, your babies are SPOILED by their dad.

Their taste develops at such a young age that nowadays, they have begun to accessorise themselves. Sumin has been quite into sunglasses lately, even at night, he'd try to wear his dad's sunglasses on top of his head that just ended up falling over his face so Mingi bought him his first Gentle Monster that he adored to pieces. Seeun, on the other hand, has been into hats as of late, particularly bucket hats. It started when you put one on him as he was going to the mall to have fun with his uncle Yunho and cousin Jinsik, and he came home buzzing with excitement and refusing to take his hat off, so he asked you and Mingi to take him to get more hats the next day (he took mostly buckets, of course).

Knowing how important impressions are to your boys, you were rather reluctant to leave them for their first day of pre-K and kindergarten because you were called to the newly established branch of your company in Gyeongsangnam-do. While Seeun cried freely into your chest, Sumin tried to pack himself into your luggage. Thankfully, you were able to compromise with the boys by letting them wear whatever they want for their first day in a new environment and that they would be able to send you pictures and videos as much as they wanted. You thought that there would be no harm done and Mingi would make sure that both boys can freely express themselves within the guidelines. With teary eyes and quivering lips, both boys spent a whole 15 minutes hugging you until you have to go.

So the next day, Mingi arrived with his boys in front of the school and as soon as they got out of the car, Seeun and Sumin rushed to the steps and posed, beyond excited. "Come on, dad! Take a picture!" Sumin called out as he adjusted Seeun's hat so the front flap doesn't cover his eyes. "Coming!" Mingi grinned widely and immediately crouched down a little bit farther away from the two boys with his phone aimed at them, "Now, give mommy a big, big smile and a big pose!"

Clad in blue and white, both boys were grinning widely, very much happy with the outfit that they were adorning. Keeping with the twinning theme, Sumin had a white long-sleeved shirt paired with knee-length light blue shorts, colourful crew socks that he picked out himself, and original white Adidas with black stripes. To top the look off, he had his sunglasses on top of his head as a fashion statement. Meanwhile, Seeun was wearing a white t-shirt with a light blue puffer vest, matching knee-length shorts and matching bucket hat, crew socks, and original black vans. To top it all off, both boys were wearing different black bags; Sumin with his messenger bag and Seeun with his backpack. Parents walking past them genuinely thought that the boys were celebrity children which was technically true since their dad is an idol but they themselves also seemed like tv personalities with how confident they were in front of the camera and they were dressed too fashionably for a day in school.

When Sumin and Seeun had their fill of posing and taking pictures, Mingi shot you a quick text with a picture of your boys before jogging to his boys who grabbed his hands upon contact. "Okay, it's a big big day for Seeunnie here, so please listen to your teacher for everything. That goes to you too, Sumin, Okay?" Mingi eyed the two boys who were staring up at him intently, "I can't have mommy getting a call saying that you stuck a crayon up your nose again like your first day in Pre-K," Mingi squinted his eyes at the eldest boy who whined and stomped his feet in embarrassment at the mention of his accident while his younger brother snorted at him. Some parents were rushing to get their kids in but the Song boys were enjoying their leisure walk as the family head told them how to conduct themselves. Seeun was looking up at his dad, listening carefully while Sumin was kicking pebbles along the path whilst maintaining hand-holding with Mingi.

Just as the boys were about to reach the entrance of the school, a teacher came approaching with a smile on her face. "Why hello there!" she greeted as she crouched down in front of the boys which made Sumin's smile drop and Seeun stepped back and hid behind one of Mingi's legs, "I see that you two are ready for school, huh? Look at your clothes!" The compliments she was giving made Sumin puff up his chest proudly as Seeun took half a step forward to look at the teacher curiously. "I love your outfits so much, however, we don't allow accessories like hats and sunglasses in our classes," the teacher's eyes peered up to Mingi as if seeking his help to remove the items from his kids and hopefully take him home with him.

Hearing that they couldn't wear their accessories, Sumin and Seeun whipped their heads to Mingi with the saddest face ever. Mingi, however, didn't even need the push from his sons to step up for them. "Why not?" he asked without sparing a second. The teacher seemed taken aback, not expecting that a parent would question the rules that have been established for a long time in the school. "Because... It's an accessory sir, it's not part of the outfit guidelines for the students," if she thought that would just drop it, she was sorely mistaken. Mingi looked around at the other kids that were starting to arrive and noticed some little girls with accessories on them which he pointed at with his chin, "I don't think I read anything about bead bracelets, necklaces, and earrings," he shrugged. To anyone who didn't know him, it might seem like Mingi was being annoying or unreasonable but in reality, Mingi was simply being inquisitive. The teacher seemed stunned because he did have a point but at the same time, no one has ever raised an issue or even just a question about female students wearing accessories before. "Uh... I mean..." Truly, she was stumped but she had to answer because she was supposed to have an answer, "W-well, the accessories the boys wear could be dangerous as things like your son's sunglasses could poke other children in the eyes and no one is allowed to wear hats in class." Hearing their accessories being mentioned, both children grabbed the items mentioned as if to not let anyone take them away. "Yeah, but... Why? I don't see any problem if my boys are not gonna distract any children with their accessories or disturb the class. If anything, those glass ball thingies in those girls' hair ties could potentially blind other children if they snapped or the necklaces they wore could break, fall into a student's drinking cup and choke on it."

Just as the teacher was about to answer, two people came and stopped where they stood still. She didn't know whether it was a good or a bad thing, though. "What are you guys doing here?" Hongjoong asked with an eyebrow raised, Minjae on his side on his iPad with his headphones on. Both Sumin and Seeun immediately beamed and rushed to hug their uncle Joongie tightly, greeting him with muffled voices. "The teacher said Sumin can't wear his sunglasses and Seeun can't wear his bucket hat," Mingi sighed, shrugging his shoulders in confusion. Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows and planted his hands on his hips, "What do you mean they can't wear their sunglasses and bucket hat?" The teacher was about to answer when Mingi answered for her instead, "Well she said those items could hurt other children?" To which Hongjoong replied with a scoff and his arms crossed over his chest, "And those tiny catapults in the girls' hair couldn't?" In agreement, Mingi clapped his hands together, "Thank you!"

It seemed like both fathers were so into their conversations that they didn't realize the kids were looking at each other. Minjae pulled his headphone down and tucked his iPad into his bag securely before taking both of Sumin and Seeun's hands into his. He stepped up to the dumbfounded teacher (who looked like she was about to cry) and spoke, "We'll be getting to class first, miss, we'll be late," he smiled widely before bowing and walking away with Sumin and Seeun in tow, not even giving a chance for the teacher to tell him that he was not supposed to bring electronics into class and that Sumin and Seeun were still not supposed to wear their accessories.

This issue could be resolved, right?

taglist :

@yvnnieurl @kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @thesolarplanetarysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @jcngh0-hq @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @imswitchbabemox @haatohwa @youngestdelacour @x-bluee @erinaimeexx @blackb3ll @mingiholic @angelicyeo @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @hongjoong-lovebot @ming-ki @stopeatread @spooo00oky @asjkdk @shinotani

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @kflixnet

[eclipsedzs]

can u do quackity doing a video with short hispanic reader?

SORRY IF ITS TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR

have a nice day and stay hydrated ❤️

𝗗𝘂𝗺𝗯 𝗩𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗼

𝗘𝗖𝗟𝗜𝗣𝗦𝗘𝗗 ▰▰▰▱▱▱ Volume: Quackity

Genre: ✓

Paring: Quackity x Fem!Reader

Summary: Irl Mario Cart with your boyfriend- Alex and best friend- John Smith.

Disclaimer(s): Cursing, Google Translated Spanish (Sorry D:) (sorry if it’s not good, got to get back into the grove of writing)

♫ ― ♫

YOUR FOOT RESTED snuggly on the small petals of the cart you sat in, phone snugly in your hand as you awaited your boyfriend to finish fiddling with his camera.

John, who was parked next to you, played on his phone- his tongue slightly out as he concentrated on his game.

Looking to him as you whip hair that stuck to your face from the window. “Qué juego estás jugando?” You ask, raising a brow as you peak to his phone. (What game are you playing?)

“Un estúpido juego lleno de anuncios.” He clicks his tongue, his hand pressing on the power off button with a click. (A stupid Game full of ads)

“¿El de los tacones altos?” You pondered- glancing over and pausing once you saw the subtle wave of Alex’s hand, alerting you of your needed entrance. (The one with the high heels?)

“Oh, Alex nos necesita ahora.” You wave your hand to Alex, alerting him you noticed it. You looked to John, indicating him to go first.

“Seré su en un segundo.” You ramble, nodding him to Alex. With a quick message of your phone you quickly sped to get caught up with the men who decided to race.

♫ ― ♫

“YEAH JOHN SMITH, i’m so happy.” The sound of Alex knocked you from you small debate with John, who was currently trying to steal a sparkly american type hat from your head.

“¡Ojo! Vete a la mierda." You cursed at him, grabbing the hat. Your eyes caught Quackitys, well at least as much as they could from his sunglasses.

Alex smiled softly at you for a moment, a clear blush on his cheeks. You watched as he bent over slightly to the side, grabbing something from the bag of items you and him had gotten a couple days ago.

“You know what else, i got somthing for you.” In his hands he held a big, plastic baby bottle in his hands.

“You big, Fucking baby.” He held back a laugh while handing it to the bearded man. You held back a laugh, leaning forward slightly on the wheel.

“You complain about everything ever John smith.” Quackity glanced at the camera and smirks. “You come in here and try to steal my girlfriends glittery hat.” He laughs, trying to stay serious.

John Gasps, holding the baby bottle for a moment before throwing it at you. “Bro!” You laughed- eyes closing as you gasped for air slightly. The mix of funniness were catching up to you.

♫ ― ♫

YOUR HAND STRETCHED OUT, grasping into the warm one of your boyfriends as you drove down the long curvy path. His giggles filled your ears as he held onto you.

Him and John were laughing, going on and on about that you guys were the new fast and furious.

Gasping when a pole was in the way you let go of Alex’s hand- laughing when he immediately started whining.

“Hold on you baby.” You laughed, though it was funny to watch his reaction when you purposefully stayed away from him.

You stuck your tongue out at him- watching his mouth open wide as if you just murdered his whole family.

Laughing you blew him a small kiss, speeding off to win the race.

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

after drawing the sparkly bider-man i wanted to make one for my AU... purely self-indulgent...

I doubt Peter would really take the time and expense to make a special pride suit he would only wear once or twice unless Johnny convinced him or smth so it's mostly hypothetical but still fun —

I was looking through my timeline trying to figure out when would make the most sense for this (which also included: has Johnny outed himself yet) and I ended up deciding 2014 makes the most sense because well, in 2012 he will be locked in a basement during June, and in 2013 he would be busy with Electro and finishing grad school, but 2014 is like... right after he and Flash get married so I can easily imagine Johnny being like "cmoooon let's dress up together, you just got gay-married" etc. and, well, peter does like to dress up... (otherwise he wouldn't be in spandex all the time 😂)

normally I avoid metallic or shiny spandex like the plague for suit designs cause I think it looks cheap but I made an exception for this 😂 it probably IS cheap...

closeups:

posing for pictures... johnny's idea, naturally. in my timeline i think johnny outs himself in like 2011 or so after a very messy divorce (from lyja) but I'm not spending too much time on the F4 stuff in this aside from just having a general idea so if they appear in a fic I know what's going on 😅 anyway by 2014 johnny is def way more comfortable with being publicly gay, since the cat's long out of the bag, though he's still got a lot of issues... but he's good at pretending to be okay :)

but also he still has a crush on peter 😂 tfw you have the hots for your superhero friend who just got married

peter actually already knows how johnny feels about him by the time he gets married, i just thought the dialogue was funny

I thought it would be fun if the lens frames were sparkly... normally I have his frames out of vulcanized black rubber (like car tire rubber) (...like might actually be carved from old tires) just cause I prefer the matte and slightly soft look compared to plastic... I figure something like sparkly firm silicone or sparkly plastic is probably pretty achievable for Peter to make. And the lenses would just be his normal bulletproof lenses but with an iridescent film on the outside to make them a little rainbowy...

and I think in 2014 irl holographic glitter spandex was like... something that existed that you could buy lol so i figure he can very carefully sew a holographic spider on.... so the spiders are like, that silvery white rainbow glitter kind of look

no webbing because there's a limit to how much labor and time peter would be willing to put into a flashy, kind of useless costume that he wouldn't be able to/want to wear very often... (and i wasn't a fan of how it looked)

bisexual fingers. there's a dirty joke in there somewhere.

it's difficult to come up with body-covering outfits that are suitable for summer weather as-is but the fact that he's wearing polyester spandex underneath really adds a layer of "i'm going to get heatstroke and die" to this outfit. lots of linen though. at least the armpits are athletic mesh.

also yeah the spidey shirt is a leotard with a snap crotch so. he's really just hoping that doesn't unroll under his clothes cause it would absolutely hang down very visibly from under his shirt if it were to fall. (maybe he can use his electrostatic sticking powers to just. hold it in place...)

he also can't roll down the waistband of his tights because it's more rigid than the rest of his costume on account of that's where he keeps all his spare web cartridges and it would suck if they all fell out LOL

hm i just noticed i accidentally gave peter a purple happy trail oops just pretend that's black

anyway

that's AU bider-man

oh

i also drew this which is much more corny/embarrassing but i thought it was a cute idea — by necessity has to be after flash is public and transitioning etc… so 2016 at the earliest but i drew this more like 2017 or 2018, after she's been on hrt and stuff and is probably more confident

i don't think there's a worry of accidentally spotlighting her/outing her because, well, she probably doesn't pass in a lot of people's eyes… broad shoulders, sideburns, etc. but… peter thinks she's pretty ❤️

i was gonna draw more of the gang but then the list kept expanding like, oh should i include X, what about Y? and it was. too many people. so then i just decided to only draw flash and peter 😂

they should have stickers on their shirts though... like a polyamory sticker... or pins...

[blneobin]

10 BL boys I want carnally <3

Much much love to @ayansbff for tagging me!! I hope you know what you’re in for cause tagging me in a post to simp?? ok! I have a reason to SCREAM about these men who made me question my asexuality.

Mantrisanu - Jeng (Step by Step)

nobody but my acemate (@mooniyuta) knows just how obsessed I was with Mantrisanu during the Step by Step era. When I tell ya I forgot I was ace as soon as I saw his giant 1.90m ass on screen.. I forgot I was even a person. I am a squirrel needing to climb a tree. WOW! just WOW!! Step by Step? No! Step On Me.

Jam Rachata - Tinn/Jiu (Laws Of Attaction/To Sir With Love)

just Jam Rachata in general. He’s just a few years older than me but I will call him Daddy. When I saw him in Laws of Attraction I was intrigued then I stayed for the plot then I got hooked with their chemistry. Lucky for me I’ve never watched To Sir With Love before, so I did… and I can hear the wedding bells ringing as soon as I saw how his hunky meaty goodness handle that rusted half scissors turned murder weapon.

First Kanaphan - Alan/Sand (Moonlight Chicken/Only Friends)

I’ve been salivating for this man since Not Me. I suffered through The Shipper for this man. It’s not just his beautiful handsome gorgeous self that does it for me, its also his charm. Like he’s so charming and has this aura about him that’s just warm and homey. His smile is like the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. His eyes are just so sparkly and beautiful, if I ever meet him irl I’d probably trip over myself getting lost in them. I understand Khaotung not wanting to share him with anyone because I would do the same.

Bright - Yai (I Feel You Linger In The Air)

He’s so handsome I can cry. This man is like Jam x2. Like he has such a perfect face for male lead in romance genre. Where has he been all my life?? Maybe its Yai the character that feeds my deluluism, but when General Yai popped up in ifylita with a freakin porn stache and I wasn’t immidiately appalled, I knew I was a goner.

Neo - Boston (Only Friends)

Neo has always been cute to me. Catches my eye in every series he’s in but then Only Friends happened AND I WAS FLOORED!!! It was like ya know when you enter your teen years and that cute person you’ve grown up with had a growth spurt and you’re like daaaang when did you get hot 👀 Yeah that’s me with Neo.

Ohm Pawat - Pat (Bad Buddy)

specifically Ohm as Pat cause he was chunky and meaty and oof his arms were distracting as fuck. Anytime he showed up with that damn tank top I was like pls may I bite. He’s just so *feral animalistic growling* I personally love a man whos chunky meaty mucles and looks like they can lift me. AND HIS SMILE??? HIS TWINKLING EYED SMILE?!?!?!?! I’m gone. what a baaaabe!!!

Try imagining? alrighty if you say so 😚

Keita Machida - Kurosawa (Cherry Magic)

I remember watching cherry magic for the first time in 2020 and I was in awe. He is so dreamy and handsome. I hate to say it again guys but.. his smile!! Like I’m obsessed with him!! Both me and bestie screamed when we saw him in Alice In Borderland (overgrown blondie with roots showing and he is messy and he smokes and I was barely breathing) and then scream cried when his head EXPLODED!?!?!?!) Anyway, I’d marry this guy. like legit.

Earth Pirapat - Jim (Moonlight Chicken)

I am not done with the young dilfs. I have no other words other than !! HIM !! like I would need to make a seperate Earth appreciation post to start talking about him. This post is getting too long anyway so I’m gonna not say much here but.. just know I would drop everything for him.

Papang - Gumpa (Not Me)

my need for Papang to suffocate me in his tiddies arms is like my human need to eat to keep myself sustained. He just looks like the best recharging station. That doesn’t make sense but it makes sense.

Even going through the gif list to choose a Papang gif gave my tummy flips

Bosston Suphadach - Pruk (Between Us)

THERE’S A NEWBIE ON MY LIST WOO!!! I feel like because he hasnt been here long and has only played sub-minor parts, people forgot about him .. BUT I. DID. NOT. <3 Did you see him in between us alongside Sammy?? Yes. I too would be purposefully tripping in front of him so that he can hold me in his big strong arms. Also him and the doctor in Be My Favourite?? SIIIIICKKK!!!! Let’s just say I’m excited to watch their spinoff next year ✨

I’ve got a few more but these men are mainly the ones that I need to have. In conclusion, Big Guy, Big Arms, Big Smiles. Love them, Love Him.

thank you lovely gif makers @zhivchik @mushiemadarame @rayandgay @wanderlust-in-my-soul @kiyosuku @warmday @sunsetandthemoon @bunnakit @daikunart and lovely moots @dramalets @drama-nonsense @mooniyuta @mooninagust @these-emo-thoughts @sparklyeyedhimbo @khaotungsfirst @blue-grama @absolutebl @troubled-mind who enable this obsession.

[to-stay-or-to-go]

Debut or Die - Manhwa Review

01/06/24 ~ 54 chapters out.

Synopsis - After heavy drinking a man wakes and realizes he's in a body of some unknown orphan three years in the past. He has a 'status' window' that tells him he must debut in a year or he will die. he enters a idol survival show where he must utilize his skills and status to become in the final rankings via online votes (called stocks) to debut.

Review - 9.2/10

Honesly, I'm a little generous but I actually really liked this. I thought it would be more BL-like because I always saw it on my TL and For You and obviously when you see a bunch of sparkly handsome (also somewhat feminine looking) manhwa men you'd assume it was BL. From what I know it's not. It actually follows more of the real-life gaming simulation-like manhwas which is always a favorite of mine.

I really like how the characters are depicted and emphasized. Not only is the art really good, the way they depict emotions in the 'performances' are so artistic. It doesn't downplay kpop and idoling at all. Although the whole despair for survival isn't that prominent in the main character, Park Moondae, he is the realest mf in the manhwa.

Like obviously on the surface he's pretty monotonus but his internal monolouge is actually so real. I think a good balance of internalized monologue and 'showing not telling' is really important in not making a manhwa with a lot of logistics boring and this manhwa does it so well.

You get excited with the characters and literally feel the anxiety with them too. And as more and more heartwarming characters are introduced you can't help but be hooked.

If you're super bored and need something actually good to read instead of brain rot, read this. Highly recommend. Even if you're romance-exclusive I really suggest it.

I personally have seen a lot of the irl idol survival shows, like the Prod. 48/100 amongst others and this manhwa really highlights the snakiness of entertainment and the strategical makeway of good publicity. Very thought inducing if you've never processed the idea and it plays well into plot.

Read it. It's good. Hopefully it'll get better.

[sparkliest-bard-bracket]

✨Round 2: Match 12✨

Loquatius Seelie Propaganda:

changeling celebrity broadcaster in sparkly gold

He is a changeling and can look like whatever he wants, he is a bard-warlock multiclass, as mentioned above he usually wears a suit made of super shiny gold (extra sparkle points), and he is a ✨charismatic news broadcaster✨. He also is the most devoted to his ex-wife and it's so adorable <3

Oli/TheOrionSound Propaganda:

i do not know how to describe him other than just watch one of his empires videos and that’ll explain it all. he’s just so…

Hes a bard. Hes ✨sparkly✨. That is all thank you.

He is a self proclaimed bard who travels across the Empires singing silly little songs in hopes he can busk off his debt (somehow he is even more in debt than when he started this journey.) He also accidentally became a father to a hatching dragon egg? a lot of things are happening with him all the time. (also genuinely Oli irl is a fantastic musician and editor, his videos are so fun and filled with energy. he is so unique and I really appreciate him for it)

He burst into improv song. A Lot. Here is a clip of him singing as he waits for Jimmy SolidarityGaming to come online: https://www.tumblr.com/redstonedust/704095807470796800/the-orionsound-difference-really-is-something-else

fun lute from a funky guy

He is in massive debt and literally flies around on a life giving other server members songs (he also gets murdered a lot but we aren’t talking about that. he was also in a jail cell at the very beginning)

he's the bard of the sever, he's a father to a dragon, he's a bit pathetic, and he's in debt to a goblin 

Flies on the power of song, he’s actually an isekai protagonist in a fantasy world and everyone else assigned him bard. He originally resisted but now embraces it and sings songs to everyone and flirts with everyone

his lute is magical and he lives in a tent

Well, his character is canonically a bard. But he also has a magic lute, and once sung open an interdimentional portal (creating the most epic crossover). As for the sparkly part, hes got a great sense of fashion and his house is a very gay rainbow tent.

[moreofthatdrowse]

JO Survey: What's a favorite JO moment of yours? Could be very small or something big

There were too many good answers in the questions with open answers in my Joker Out Survey, so below the cut are the answers to Question no. 14: What's a favorite JO moment of yours? Could be very small or something big

When bojan exists but also when they sung the boys are back from HSM in an interview in all the languages

Nace & Bojan completing my heart hands thing at a concert :) (& Nace showing the heart on his bass in my direction )

sparklative, the turtle interview, every interaction between jan and nace (it's hard to pick a favourite)

It's so hard to choose! Aside from repeating what I said before, I'll say I love them doing stuff with pride flags during concerts, and them hanging out together during Novi Val. Also them just wearing each others clothes. And the whole thing with Because of You during Eurovision. And Bojan singing Cha Cha Cha. And Tavastia. And Kris during the Katrina video whirling around his jacket. Ok I can't choose and I can go on forever.

When Nace started talking about his turtles

kris being a hater 🫶

how dare you make me pick one smh i guess the performance of novi val in Glasgow with the pride flag i dotn get emotional about artists raising pride flags in general even tho im queer but that specific moment in a CHURCH with THAT song made me sob

I can't choose so I've got 3: 1. WHY THIS HAS BEEN SO HAS BIVEN SPARKLY?! SPARKLING?! SPARKLATIVE?!?!?! 2. the interview where they talk about Nace's turtles ("shiiiit, they don't like to be pet!") 3. every time Bojan and Kris banter with each other 😭 and I saw this irl too when I was at their concert in London and Kris wouldn't stop playing his guitar whilst Bojan was trying to tune his

I've really enjoyed watching the behind the scenes video series' from Eurovision and the tour.

It's a tie between (i) pretty much any interview they've ever done and (ii) the Cvetličarna concert (didn't attend but have watched the footage)

Them comforting Käärijä together after his loss

Bojan's thighs lol

I really like drunk Kris at Barcelona preparty screaming "OH, SSF!" and dancing like the tall tree he is 🤣❤️‍🔥

Their joy in eurovision

"Sparklative"

The moment that Jan signed my jacket

Jan and Nace interacting on stage

Idk i love all the behind the scenes videos?

Them all singing together (see carpe diem series ep 7 amsterdam :D)

The backstage series

The Electric Ballroom gig in London & their reaction when Slovenia entered the grand final at ESC

Jan and Nace playing kazoos in the UK tour ep 2

You expect me to chose?? /j

Every Novi val performance.

anything Jan and Nace get up to tbh

Every moment in that "joker out being bros for 5 min straight" video or wtv or was called. Need friendships like that fr

don't know if it's my favorite moment per se but i do love how they all immeadiately fell in love with jere (käärijä), especially bojan ofc <3

Why has been so sparkling? ✨

Bojan draped in a pride flag in an old church while singing novi val. Top 3 moments to cry about at 3am tbh

The performance of Novi Val in Križanke. Also, this is not a JO moment as such, but a clip where Bojan imitates a german kid telling his mom he wants to jump on the trampoline(?) I'm sorry, but man's funny as fuck, I think about that clip often.

I haven't seen them live yet, so all the best moments are yet to come :)

All of them cuddles

I don’t knoww Maček in a box

kris tilting his head back, eurovision in my city, SEEING THEIR TOUR BUS IN LIVERPOOL WJEN ME AND MY FRIEND WERE OUT IN THE CITY CENTER THE DAY AFTER WE SAW THEM @ MANCHESTER

I don't know yet - there's so many moments! So many smiles and like laying their heads on each others shoulders during concerts and looking out for each other. <3

I liked how promptly they got rid of gregor on a serious level and also on a happy level when they qualified to the Eurovision final

cvetličarna

Bojan and Kaarija’s bromance

I don't know to many options

Love how often TURTOL is brought up. Nace would be proud <3

QUESTIONS 1-11 I QUESTION 12 I QUESTION 13 I QUESTION 14

[bedrockbones]

Tommy goes to the aquarium :>

I wish you would write a fic where... ///not accepting theres not that much world building here except that i imagine the mers here are being rented by the aquarium. not in a fucked up way but kind of like how restaurants and partys will hire "mermaids" irl but in this world, mermaids actually exist lmao big noodly boys with sparkly tails. kids love em and its an easy job. just swim around for a few hours and show off some tricks also tommy is supposed to be in like. elementary school on a field trip

The mer was doing something really cool. Tommy just knows it. He can hear the crowd's oo's and ahh's and the other children giggling and shouting. Tommy wants to see so bad but he knows better than to try and join the group.

He pouts on the other side of the room, barely catching a glimpse of the long, sparkly tail rolling in the water.

There's supposed to be three mer today, but only the blue one has been seen. He's really friendly. Tommy saw him for a little bit and he knows a lot of tricks.

If only Dream hadn't come on the field trip. Tommy doesn't even know why he's here! He spent all week up to today talking about how stupid mer are and making fun of Tommy for being excited. But now he's plastered right against the glass with his stupid friends.

It would be better if Tubbo was here, but his friend had gotten lice and wasn't allowed to join. Tommy had promised to tell him all about the mer, but how can he when Dream would push him away if he tried to join?

Sighing, Tommy watches the fish swim by. There's no one by this side of the wall, everyone wanted to see the mer while they could. At least that means no dumb employees were around to scold Tommy for tapping on the glass.

He taps out random rhythms, not thinking too much about it. The sound of his nail tink-tink-tinking on the glass is nice. Tommy likes it.

He stares at his finger, cheek leaning on the cool glass. With his ear pressed to it, Tommy's tapping sounds so much louder. It's sort of cool-

Tink-tink-tink.

Tommy jerks his head away from the glass. That...wasn't him. It almost sounded like someone else was tapping as well, but when he glances around there's still no one nearby.

Only he hears the tapping again. Tink-tink-tink.

His eyes snap to the sound and-

and-

He can see his own reflection on the glass. He can see his eyes widening so, so big. So big he can see the whites of his eyes all the way around. They're almost as white as the mer's teeth.

He's grinning. Needle-like fangs fill his mouth and Tommy's belly kind of swoops to see them. The mer's rises a little bit more off the cliffs edge, emerging from one of the holes in the rocky wall. His tail is a deep, dark black but as he swims into the light, a shimmering green starts to spread.

He's so pretty.

Pretty and scary. Tommy has never seen a mer so close. Not a real one. He's seen pictures and videos but this one is looking at Tommy. This one is alive and real.

Tommy glances around, expecting to see anyone else notice the mer, but he's still alone.

Tink-tink-tink. The mer is tapping again.

Tommy looks back to him and the mer waves with a webbed hand. It's so human-looking. Except for the scales and green color of course. Tommy hesitantly taps the glass again. The mer copies his pattern and Tommy smiles.

They go back and forth for a bit. Tapping little patterns back and forth. It ends when the mer suddenly blows a bunch of bubbles at the glass. It makes Tommy laugh.

[fluffallamaful]

concept (irl):

the dream team are shopping together and come across one of these stupid arse head pillow things

dream claims that it would be great for sleeping on flights! or anywhere! literally in the airport as well. he tries it on and sapnap and george immediately ridicule him for how stupid he looks. dream defends himself, lifting his arms up to test out the hand pockets. he can’t see sap and george but he’s smiling along with them anyway. he knows he must look like a fool, but my god he’s already imagining the benefits to owning one of these things

sap and george cackle at how stupid he looks, and sap reaches out and starts pinching at dream’s sides to tease him further. dream is blind to the attack, and his hands don’t slide out of the pillow nearly as easily as he’d like like them to. all it takes is for sapnap’s other hand to squeeze at his other side for dream to be doubled over and giggling, which of course only encourages the younger more. he moves round to dream’s tummy, targeting the sweet spot that always makes him crumble. dream falls to the floor

george continues to reminds dream of how silly he’s looking, with that stupid pillow on his head. the reminder is embedded in a string of delighted cackles, and followed by a new set of prods and tickles to dream’s ribs and armpits. dream finally manages to free his hands, but even so they prove to be a rather useless without the guidance of his eyes. he batts aimlessly at his friends’ wiggling fingers, tittering himself silly. he can feel how much his cheeks are warming the pillow, entirely embarrassed about the fact that he’s being tickled on the department store’s floor with a pillow on his head

when sapnap and george finally let up and release him from his pillow trap, dream is bright red. his eyes are sparkly and he’s still giggling. he hides in his hands when he notices that his predicament has been witnessed by several other passer-by’s in the store, and graciously accepts sapnap’s hand when it’s offered to help him up

the pillow is placed but on the shelf and promptly abandoned.