#He took the wrong tube! ...ARE YOU SURE ELLY??

[catacosmo]

Slowly drawing Weltall and Fei!!

[dark-frosted-heart]

I'm His Cherished Doll - Roger Barel

Event bonus story

Things get a bit nsfw toward the end. Jfc that end.

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. Roger is his own warning.

Crown surrounds me, who accidentally took a shrinking drug.

(I need to make a good choice. Who I want to take care of me is-)

Kate: Roger, can you take care of me? (I think being with Roger will be the fastest way to return to normal)

Roger: What a coincidence. I was thinking of sticking to you.

Kate: Huh…

Roger smiles wickedly and grabs me with one hand.

Roger: No way I’m handing an interesting experiment to another guy. Right?

Kate: Right? Wait…

I made the wrong choice?!

Victor: Roger, if you do anything bad to Kate, I, Victor, won’t stay quiet about it!

Roger: Yeah, yeah. I gotcha. Come on, let’s go little lady.

Kate: It’s not like I can go anywhere else with you grabbing me…

Victor: Kate!

Ellis: There they go…

Victor: Wah…I wanted to take care of her. You’re so sneaky Roger.

Harrison: You were pretending to worry about Kate, but really, you just wanted to take care of her.

~~~

Roger sets me down on a desk in his lab.

(Everything looks different than usual)

(Of course they do since I’m tiny now…)

Roger: Hey little lady. Does your skin feel the same as usual?

Roger pokes my cheek with his index finger.

Kate: Oof. H-hold on…

Roger: Hmm, no change here. Then, how about here?

The finger that was touching my cheek starts stroking my neck.

Kate: Ah…

(I just made a weird noise…)

Roger: No change here? You’re still the same sensitive, vocal little lady.

Kate: P-please stop teasing me like that.

I try to remove his finger, but Roger grabs me again.

Frustrated by being in his clutches (literally and figuratively), I flail in his hold.

Kate: Ugh-

Roger: Pfft, haha. Cu~te.

(Honestly, the more you bully someone, the better your smile)

Our interactions are surprisingly the same as usual.

I was anxious because of how my body changed, but with how we’re still acting the same as usual, I feel like things will work out.

(Alright, let’s find out what I can do!)

Kate: Roger, please let me help you with your research. I’ll do my best to return to normal.

Roger: Yeah, of course. Then Kate, you’ll-

Kate: Nn…

(Mm…I…fell asleep? When?)

It’s dark in the basement so I can’t tell for sure, but I’m certain it’s already midnight.

When I was going to help Roger with his research, I apparently fell asleep.

(I have good stamina, but with my body like this, I probably get more tired than usual)

(Huh…?)

At this moment, I realize that I was sleeping on something.

(This is Roger’s vest. Then…)

Roger: …

I look over to see Roger alone at his work table.

Comparing the various test tubes, he pinches his glabella and lets out a deep sigh.

Roger: Ha…

Damn it… Isn’t this it?

(I’ve never seen Roger look so serious before…)

I can’t take my eyes off his side profile.

Even after I became like this, Roger stayed the same.

Roger’s mean, egotistical, and always teases me.

(But this isn’t the same as usual…)

Even if it was my fault, Roger was the one that made the drug I took.

(You were acting like that because you knew I was anxious, weren’t you?)

The more time I spend with Roger, the more I realize just how strong and unwavering he is.

If there’s anyone in the world that can survive on their own, then it’s someone like him.

(Roger’s never needed my support…)

(I know that)

(I know that, but…)

Roger: Hm? Oh, you’re awake, Sleeping Beauty.

Kate: …Yeah. Um, Roger...

Roger: Hm?

Kate: Would you mind lowering your head a bit?

Roger: Sure? No problem, but what’s up?

I approach his bowed head…

(Why do I want to be nice to this person?)

I gently pat his head with my tiny hand.

Kate: Thank you for trying to find a way to get me back to normal. I’d love to return to normal of course, but… But if I can’t, then I’m fine with that too.

Roger: … You’re fine with that, are you. That’s just like our robin.

I’m sure he can see through my bluff.

However, I really wanted to let him know that I’m fine.

(I just wish that I could say it better…)

While I’m sulking over how awkward I was, Roger smiles at me.

Roger: Hey, little lady… If you don’t return to normal, then how about we get married?

Kate: …………huh? M-married?

Roger: I can do research by your side. You can spend your time laughing and  smiling while I’m being mean to you.

Not bad, don’t you think?

I was surprised by his sly grin and how he just said that without hesitation that I couldn’t help but laugh.

Kate: Hehe, I wouldn’t want you to be mean to me for the rest of my life, but maybe that’s okay. 

Roger: Right? Well, I haven’t given up on getting you back to normal either.

Roger sits back in his chair and shuts his eyes.

Roger: I’m gonna nap for a bit. Wake me up in 15 minutes.

Kate: Eh? Then you should lie down properly-

Roger: Zzz…

(He’s already asleep…)

I stare at his face, which looks a little more innocent now that his eyes are closed, and then look down at my hand that had touched his hair earlier.

(He’s selfish, an egoist, and mean, but…)

(Roger’s existence has saved me a couple of times…)

(It’s frustrating but…it’s the absolute truth)

We woke up at the same time to the sound of footsteps from upstairs.

Roger: Mm… Hm? Whoa…Is it morning already?

Kate: Feels…like it?

Roger: I told you to wake me up, but you fell asleep too.

Kate: Sorry. This body tires out easily-

The moment I woke up I noticed some physical discomfort.

Roger: You…

(Huh…?)

Kate: I’m…back to normal? I’m back to normal! Hooray!

I’m so ecstatic that I hug Roger without thinking and I feel his muscular body against mine.

Roger: Did the drug run its course?  No, but a drug that shrinks a person can’t simply-

Kate: It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I’m back to normal.

Roger: Yeah, you’re right. I’ll figure it out later… At any rate, thank goodness for your good health.

Kate: What a relief. Thanks for being by my side.

Roger: No problem. But I think you’re a little too energetic with the naked cuddling?

Kate: Naked? Ah…

(I’m not wearing anything?!)

It’s only when he pointed it out that I realized I’m not wearing any clothes.

The doll clothes I wore lie abandoned on the floor.

Kate: I’m sorry. I’ll go put something-

Roger: Hey, hold on. What’re you gonna do about “this”?

Roger grabs my hand and brings it to his lower half.

Kate: Eh…Oh, um…Huh?

My cheeks heat up when I feel something firm against my hand.

Kate: Roger…is this…

Roger: When I’m feeling worn out, I just can’t help myself. Besides, it’s like your naked body’s inviting me.

Kate: It’s saying no such thing…

(I need to put something on quickly)

The moment I get up from the chair, Roger pins me down on the work table.

Kate: !

While hovering over me, his rough hand traces my neck.

Like a butterfly specimen, my arms are pinned and I can’t move.

Kate: Ah…Roger…you can’t…

Roger: Oh? Jeez, you should enjoy it, but you’re oddly serious. Then I won’t put it in. That won’t be a problem, right?

Kate: Not putting it in…That’s not the point…

His large hands cover my exposed breasts.

He starts groping my chest.

(Ah…don’t…)

The calluses rub against a sensitive area, sending a tingling sensation through my body.

It’s as if every part of my body’s craving the sweet stimulation. 

Roger: Kate. I haven’t even played with them yet and your nipples are already getting hard. 

Kate: …

Roger: Haha, that’s a nice heartbeat. My ears are picking up everything.

Kate: Don’t listen please!

Roger: Oh? You’re not asking me not to touch you?

Kate: Um…

Roger: Pfft, hahaha. You really are something… You weren’t so bad when you were tiny, but it’s better to talk at the same level.

Kate: …

(Why are you saying that with such a carefree smile?)

(A smile like that)

(...I can’t say no to it)

I wonder how much of this was calculated and how much was his trap.

No matter how much I think about it, I can’t figure it out.

But I can accept his approaching lips-

That I knew for sure.

[flamingredanon]

Scene for you.

Right sitting in a field of flowers butterflies flying lazily around him his cybernetic eye recording the world around him wanting to remember it. A voice calls to him and he turns smiling as he sees Henry followed by Ellie coming towards him smile on their faces. They all sit down talking and enjoying the moment.

Happy.

"That's right, my friend. Just enjoy the dream." Reginald whispers madness in his eyes as he sits by the cyborg hands fiddling with the other's wires and systems rewiring the other all the while Right is lost in the fabricated dream.

It was for Right's own good, Reginald kept thinking to himself, finishing up the rewiring process. Soon Reginald would be rid of Henry Stickmin and have HIS leadership back. And Right, well Right had worked really hard as Reginald's friend and right hand man for many years, the least he could do is let Right be forever happy in a everlasting blissful dreamland, while this rewired Right would remember his duty to protect Reginald and only his duty.

After all, this was all for Right's own good.

---

"We should get back to station, you know how cranky Reg gets." Ellie said, offering her hand to help Right up. The three of them had been talking for quite some time, and it was nearing dinner time. Right took one last look at the relaxing field before heading back to the escape pod, he would definitely be back tomorrow.

The three of them were soon back at the Toppat Space Station, headed to the cafeteria where Reginald met up with them. "So how was your little trip, Righty?" Right hummed happily as he spoke "Lots of butterflies today, was a completely perfect trip." Reginald just smiled as Henry grabbed Reginald's hand and the two of headed off ahead as Ellie playfully chased after them.

Right thought he heard someone faintly calling him, tell him to wake up and snap out of it, but Right shook off that weird feeling, it was probably Right being hungry and his mind playing tricks on him.

Taco night at the Toppat Space Station was Right's favorite, so many choices to choose from. Right chose a simple taco salad tonight, with Ellie feasting on a burrito bowl, Reginald enjoying a chicken fajita and Henry digging through a plate of nachos. The smell of wonderful food filled the air as Ellie turned to Right and said "This... isn't you, ... have to..."

Right started feeling the cafeteria fade as he listened to Ellie more. Something was wrong... wasn't it?

"You have to grab yourself another because you tore through your first helping" Reginald spoke up, grabbing Right's shoulder and jolting himself back into the cafeteria. Right sheepishly realized he was rather hungry. Right had another taco salad while Henry was talking to Reginald about a big heist that was going to happen soon, with Ellie throwing in a comment or two as well.

Soon Right headed to Henry's room for movie night, they were going to watch some cheesy rom com and most likely laugh at everything happening and yet somehow enjoy the movie. Right plopped down next to Henry on his soft sofa. Soon the movie started and the laughter began, though Right swore he had seen this one before.

It didn't matter as soon Right found himself pointing out a silly plot device that would definitely be used later and Henry agreeing, adding on that shenanigans would ensue. Right continued to watch the movie when he heard a sharp screaming.

"RIGHT, IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, YOU ARE GOING TO KILL HENRY! STOP IT PLEASE!"

Right couldn't figure out what the voice meant until he looked ahead... and saw his hands tightly wrapped around Henry's neck. He quickly let go, Henry falling to floor coughing violently and trying to catch his breath.

Right couldn't move his body completely, why couldn't he move his body like he normally could? Right managed to confusedly ask "What is going on here? Why was I..." before Right felt a sharp pain hit his head as the scene flickered from Henry's room to the Toppat office and back, like a tv that was flipping through channels in his vision.

Right couldn't concentrate, everything was so confusing right now, butterflies were glitching in and out of his vision, so many voices were talking at once and his head hurt so much. Right could only scream in pain... until he felt Henry's hand touching the right side of his face.

"Just concentrate... on listening to my... voice and... feeling my touch... it... it will be ok soon." Right heard Henry's straining voice, and felt Henry gently touching his face. Right was still very much in pain and was confused, but as he felt Henry stroke his face and start singing to him, everything else seemed to melt away.

Right felt tired as his vision went dark, barely hearing Henry weakly speak "It is going... to be ok... Righty... this wasn't... your... fault..." Right felt everything go black, a strange eerie silence filling his mind.

---

Right felt a bright light hit his eye as he blearily open it, seeing a strangely familiar doctor in his face. "How are you feeling, Right?" Right shook the sleepy fog from his mind as he realized that Dr V was talking to him "I guess fine, very confused on why I am in med bay and why you are here, Anastasia."

Dr V took her glasses off as she sat down "Copperbottom went off deep end, tried to take Toppat leadership from Stickmin in a last ditch effort. He rewired you as his trump card." Right's human eye went wide, he was... rewired, turned against his friends and loved ones? Why didn't he remember any of it?. "Don't be freaking out, you weren't in control of your actions and thus not at fault for what that bastard made you do and also I have upgraded your cybernetics so event like that won't happen again."

"Where is Ellie and Henry? And what happened with Reg?" Right had to know what happened to everyone. "Ellie is waiting right outside and Reginald has been detained and launched straight to The Wall. And Henry... he is fighting for life in ICU." Right sat up and started making his way out of the room, ignoring Dr V's protests.

Ellie was shocked to see Right and moving around so soon after everything Reginald did to him, but she figured out where Right was headed and followed, providing herself as support to Right as they walked.

---

Henry was covered in so many tubes and wires, asleep despite all the noises the machines around him were making. Right pulled up a chair and started talking to Henry, letting his finger brush across Henry's cheek.

Ellie stood back in the room as she spoke "This was all Reginald's fault. The bastard couldn't leave well enough alone. Fucking hell." Ellie found tears escaping her eyes as she continued to speak "You looked so... lifeless under that bastard's control, obeying his commands with only a cold "Yes Sir" from your lips. Reginald was so desperate for leadership, he hurt you and us in the process."

Right found himself crying as well, taking Henry's hand and planting a kiss on it, just wanting Henry to live through this. Right heard a weak voice speak "You're ok... thank god you... are ok." Right and Ellie looked shocked as Henry opened his eyes and was speaking. The two of them hugging Henry and crying.

---

It took a few weeks, but Henry was soon released from the ICU. He had a hard time speaking now, his voice box injured because of... what Reginald made Right do. He did quickly pick up sign language, and Right stays by his side as translator in meetings.

Ellie started taking more self defense training, wanting to learn a combat where she could apprehend her foe without too much harm. While Right was in no danger of being rewired anymore, Ellie wanted to be damn sure she was ready to step in if Right ever lost himself again.

Right has nightmares from that day, turning out his recording of the butterflies in that field was actually recording everything that happened in real life. But Henry or Ellie are both quick to comfort Right, holding him close and letting him know everything is alright.

Reginald was known as the former leader who went mad with lust and envy for leadership, history writing him down a monster.

[five-rivers]

Family

Sequel to ‘Mask.’

.

.

.

It was amusing, watching Daniel eat like this.

Vlad had decided to institute a tradition of family mealtimes, and had decanted Daniel from the containment unit about thirty minutes previously. Daniel had been sulky, at first, saying that Vlad should have given him more warning and attempting to fend off the wheelchair Vlad had procured for him. But his strength had been insufficient to the task, and, once Vlad had wheeled him into the other half of the basement, where he had created a luxurious but secret home for his children, he had fallen into a contented and obedient stupor once again.

An adjustment to the flow of his ectoplasm IV perked him up just enough to allow him to attempt to eat breakfast. Attempt. Poorly. He was obviously as ravenous as he was exhausted, but he was equally uncoordinated. He only got a forkful of pancakes to his mouth every third attempt at best.

"Father," said Danielle, tugging at his sleeve. She was, more often than not, the spokesperson for her siblings. "Is Danny alright?"

Vlad nodded, absently. "What he is doing is very difficult, my dear, but he will come to no lasting harm." Perhaps he should allow Daniel to eat separately, after this.

"He won't melt?"

"No, no, he's quite stable. You needn't worry about that. He is simply tired, and his mind is otherwise occupied. Imagine if you were trying to, say, set the table while reading four books at once. Your coordination might suffer, too, hm?"

His children nodded. "That makes sense," said Dmitri, adjusting his eye patch. "I guess we didn't think of it that way."

Vlad gave his son an indulgent smile. "You are young, Dmitri. You don't have to think of everything."

Dmitri nodded, and then said, wistfully, "I don't suppose we're still following the schedule?"

"I'm afraid not," said Vlad. "You, of course, can continue with the activities I planned, but Daniel won't be able to." Four of the five children at the table sighed. Daniel continued to struggle with his breakfast. "But you may be able to meet David soon. His stabilization has been progressing nicely."

This pronouncement was greeted with smiles and cheers. Damien reached over and hugged Dmitri. Daniel jumped and dropped his fork.

He made a very small, upset fweh sound and stared angrily at his plate.

Vlad regarded him with a sigh. While family mealtimes were good for his children, for their social skills, their stability, and for their bond with Daniel, they would not suffice for getting Daniel the nutrients he needed. True, they could be supplemented intravenously, or with a feeding tube, but Vlad didn't want to resort to that just yet.

Dustin reached over to Daniel's plate and began to cut up Daniel's pancakes. He speared some on the end of the fork and offered them to Daniel, who took them with a kind of blurred dignity. Vlad had to cover his mouth. It wouldn't do to laugh at Daniel being hand-fed like a small child. Yet.

.

Danny was wheeled out of the underground dining room and his brain sluggishly began to work again. "Are they okay?" he asked.

"Hmm?" said Vlad.

"Being apart."

"For now. A few hours with you a day should keep them from deteriorating further. Once David has reached their level of stability, you will be able to spend much more time with them." Vlad ruffled Danny's hair and Danny hummed. Then he realized how wrong that was and scowled.

Vlad walked over to the tube Danny had been in for the last several hours and started adjusting things.

Danny shifted uncomfortably in the chair; he was still too woozy to try to walk. "Vlad?"

"Yes? What?"

"Do we- Can we do something different? Not that."

"Oh?" Vlad turned to face him. "I would have thought that you would have wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. This is the fastest way."

Danny shrugged. He didn't really want to explain to Vlad how unnerving being in the tube had been.

Vlad drummed his fingers on the side of the tube and contemplated Danny. "There are a few other things we could try."

Danny nodded. "Good. Right. Before we start, though, um, I don't suppose you have a bathroom down here?"

.

"Do I have to be strapped down?" asked Danny.

"Daniel," said Vlad, "you agreed to cooperate."

"Yes, with stabilizing Ellie, Dustin, Dmitri, Damien, and David," said Danny. "Not with letting you tie me up so you can bully me into doing things." Never mind that he wouldn't be able to resist whatever Vlad wanted from him, anyway. He was too weak.

"I don't want you to damage yourself by falling off the table, hitting yourself during a seizure, or falling under the ectoplasm and doing your best impression of drowning," said Vlad. "You can't actually drown, of course, but the fact remains that these are all experimental procedures."

Danny shuddered at the word experiment. He'd been half-ghost for long enough for that word to sink into his subconscious and give him nightmares. "But are they necessary?"

"I suppose not," admitted Vlad. He approached Danny with two quick strides and knelt in front of him. He held up an object that looked like a thick bolt with a thick cable running from one end. "This needs to make contact with your core."

"You're joking."

"No. The idea is to strengthen and more directly transmit your ectosignature."

Danny bit his lip. He knew exactly how something touching your core felt, thanks to Dan. "Maybe you had better strap me down."

.

They fell into a sort of routine. For most of the day and night, Danny would soak in an ectoplasm bath, connected to David. At regular intervals Vlad would wake him up, convince him to exercise a small amount, and then bring him to the other side of the basement, where the other clones lived.

At one point, Vlad had handed Danny a phone and he'd had a very confused conversation with his sister. He'd tried to communicate what was happening to her, and that she should call Sam and Tucker, but he'd just finished a disorienting stabilization session, and he wasn't sure how clear he'd been.

Danny didn't know if Vlad had kept up his other promise, to keep Amity Park safe, but, honestly, most of the time he was too tired to even care. Which was sort of disturbing in the moments he did have energy to care.

Also, whenever he was awake he was hungry. Ravenous. It was weird. His food intake had increased after the accident, but he knew he had never eaten this much every day before. But he wasn't gaining weight. He was losing it.

Danny woke up to Vlad undoing his restraints. "Izzit time t'eat?" he asked.

"Soon," said Vlad. "David is ready."

"Oh," said Danny, with vague interest. He sat up and leaned on the side of the tub he was in. Ectoplasm lapped around his thighs.

Slowly, Vlad decanted David from the tube, first draining away the ectoplasm and then rinsing David off with a stream of water from the top of the tube. He opened the tube up, and began to detach him from the various wires and leads. As he did so, David began to wake, stirring and humming. Finally, after Vlad disconnected the last wire, David opened his eyes and smiled. Danny's lips mirrored the motion.

He was happy. David was family, clone or not.

.

The next meal was more confusing than usual. His eyes were having trouble focusing, and the conversation around him was nothing more than a smear of noise. Everyone was happy, though, so that was good.

To Danny's dull surprise, Vlad did not take him back out to the lab, but instead to a different room. This was different. And upsetting. He frowned. This room was bright colors and soft shapes. Vlad took him out of the wheelchair and set him on the floor.

Again, this was different. Why was it different? He couldn't think. He didn't like this.

Then all his siblings came close, and he found himself in the middle of a cuddle pile. Oh! This was nice. Danny closed his eyes and let himself relax the rest of the way.

.

"Now, children," said Vlad, after he was quite certain both that his children would be gentle with Daniel and that Daniel was firmly asleep, "I will be leaving Daniel with you during the day, but I need you to follow certain rules. First, Daniel must stay below ground. Second, at least three of you must stay with Daniel at all times." He rather suspected that none of them would let Daniel leave their sight, at least for the near future, but that was the number he had calculated would keep Daniel in a docile state. "Thirdly, if any of the alarms go off, you must fetch me at once. Finally, and this is very important, when he is awake, I want you to try to talk him into staying with us. You remember those videos I showed you, yes?"

David looked confused, but all the others nodded.

"They were so mean to him," said Dustin.

"They shot at him!" added Ellie.

"You're not like that at all, Father," said Damien. "I can't believe those people are his parents!"

Vlad smiled. "David, I will show you the videos at a later time. For now, get to know your siblings."

David nodded vigorously. He hadn't quite gotten the hang of talking, yet.

Vlad left for the lab, humming. Yes, his little family was shaping up nicely. If he could get Daniel to join it with some subliminal messaging and the well-meaning pressure of the clones, well, that would just be icing on the cake, wouldn't it?

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 2 - 48

This is a series. Start here, continued from here. 

This is a sequel to Honor Bound. 

AO3

Cw: chronic pain, discussion of head injury and its symptoms, death mention, parental abuse mention

Isaac shifted on his cot, his shoulder aching against the stiff canvas under him. I wonder if that’s gonna hurt forever? He rolled onto his back, slowly moving his arm in a wide circle, staring at the ceiling that was almost invisible in the dark.

One day. One day, and they were more than halfway there. They weren’t even driving through the night. I guess that’s what happens when we know we can travel on highways going eighty miles an hour, instead of twenty down bumpy back roads.

They were making such good time that they could afford to stay with some of Tori’s contacts, the Silas’s, an older couple who worked for the Andersons as a hired maid and cook. The whole time they’d been working for the Andersons they’d been smuggling people out of the area, up north, out west, anywhere that was safer. Now they were retired, with generous pensions.

Working for the syndicates has to have its perks, I guess.

I’m sure that’s what Vera’s friend Ryan thought.

He could hear Sam’s slow, even breathing in the cot next to them. They can sleep anywhere, at any time, I swear to god.

He could barely hear Gavin’s breathing in the cot to his other side. Which probably meant Gavin was still awake. Staring at the ceiling, just like he was.

There was no way he was going to check if he was right.

The Coopers had been expecting six people, not seven. They had three rooms in the house that could be made into guest rooms with very little notice, and taken down with very little trace. The plan had been to put Finn and Ellis in one room, Isaac and Sam in another, and Vera and Gavin in the third. Isaac had resisted that suggestion up north, but Vera insisted. “I trust him as much as you do,” she’d said in a hushed tone. “If I’m worried about him attacking me in my sleep, we shouldn’t be bringing him south.�� Isaac hadn’t argued.

Vera has a very different relationship with Gavin, though.

Not that Isaac had a relationship with Gavin at all. Gavin had been his enemy, and now he wasn’t. There was trust there, but trust that Gavin had earned over several months of proving himself, offering help, providing information. He’d killed the bounty hunters when it would’ve been ridiculously easy to take them all back to his mother. Hell, he could have taken them back to his own hideout to torture them all for himself. But he didn’t. He killed the bounty hunter, and saved them. Even though he knew he’d suffer, for seeing the blood. Even though it would sign his death warrant if he ever set foot in syndicate territory again. Now, he was coming south to risk his life like the rest of them.

I have so much reason to hate him. To distrust him. But I have so much reason to believe him now.

Isaac sighed, covering his face with his hands. How the fuck did we get here? How did we get to the point where Gavin Stormbeck—

He stopped himself. He’s Gavin Uriah now. He smiled in the dark.

“Are you awake?” came Gavin’s whisper.

Isaac froze. Of course Gavin was awake, of course he wanted to talk now. He cleared his throat softly. “Um. No.”

The room was silent for a moment. Then there was a rustling sound as Gavin rolled over. “Okay,” Gavin whispered.

Isaac rolled his eyes, biting his tongue against the question he could feel forming on his lips. I don’t have to talk to him. I don’t have to say anything at all. He wasn’t sure why he did it, but he suddenly thought of Gavin pushing him against the wall, kissing him softly, cradling his face in his hands with a gentleness that made Isaac’s chest ache to remember it. It doesn’t mean anything that I want to be touched like that again. It’s been a while, that’s all.

He drew in a deep breath, rolling his shoulder again in the socket. “What is it?” he whispered.

Another rustle, as Gavin turned over again. “Um…” A pause. “It sounds like you’re hurting.”

Isaac blew out a frustrated breath. “Yeah.”

“Um…” Another rustle. “What’s wrong?”

Why are we talking about this? “It’s my, um… my shoulder.”

Another pause. “What happened to your shoulder? Was it…? I don’t think…?”

Isaac knew the words that followed that. I don’t think I hurt your shoulder when I was torturing you.

Isaac bit his lip. “No,” he whispered. “When we, um… getting out of your warehouse, a door blew up and hit me. Dislocated my shoulder, tore it up.”

Isaac flushed at Gavin’s short intake of breath. “Oh,” Gavin whispered. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t know.”

“It’s whatever. You didn’t do it.” The rest of the scars on my body are from you, but not this one.

“Um…” A long pause. “Did I… Did I shoot you?”

Isaac turned his head towards the sound of Gavin’s voice. “What?”

“Um… Did I shoot you? I think I… um…” A shaky breath. “I think I remember shooting you. When I almost k-killed Sam.” A pause. “The second time.”

“Uh, yeah.” Isaac’s fingers went to the scar on his forearm, to the graze where Gavin had shot him as Isaac forced the gun away from Sam’s head. “Yeah. The bullet hit me.”

“Yeah.” A long, slow exhale. “That’s what I thought.”

Isaac rolled to his side so he was facing Gavin, although he couldn’t see him in the dark. “What do you mean you think you remember?”

There was a pause so long Isaac thought Gavin had fallen asleep. Then, “I… it’s hard for me to remember things right from that day. That week, actually. Before and after. You, um… you broke my face in three places. I had a, um… I’m sorry. You don’t need to hear about this. It’s—”

“I want to know,” Isaac whispered gently. He wasn’t sure why, but it was the truth.

“Okay. Um…” A rustle. “You gave me such a bad concussion I was in a coma for a few days. Tube down the throat, everything. It took me weeks of PT before I could, um… walk again. And a few months until my memory started to work normally. I still have, um, attention problems sometimes. And I still can’t remember a lot of things.”

Isaac’s heart pounded in his chest. “Does that mean… you… don’t remember torturing me?”

“No, I… I remember almost everything. Leo helped me with that, came by and helped me remember. It’s not that I don’t remember, it’s that some things were a little out of order.”

“You had… Leo come back and… remind you how you tortured me?” Isaac’s mouth was dry.

“Um… yeah. I was… kinda pissed at you. And I didn’t like there being parts of my life I couldn’t remember right.” Gavin pulled in a slow breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you all that. I didn’t mean…”

“No, it’s okay,” Isaac murmured. He gently massaged the aching muscle in his shoulder. “I, um. I didn’t know all that.” I didn’t know I damaged him, too.

“Yeah, well, I only came out of that with a few scars. I didn’t exactly get the short end of the stick.” Gavin’s voice sounded strange, twisted with bitterness and… guilt. Isaac pressed his lips together, pushing against the knot in his shoulder that had never really gone away after the injury. The room was completely silent, save for Sam’s slow breathing. Isaac’s eyes drifted closed.

“We’re gonna reach Fort Meyers tomorrow,” Gavin whispered.

Isaac groaned quietly. “Yeah.”

“Um… I just want… in case… something happens, in case I don’t get to tell you—”

“Nope,” Isaac rasped. “Don’t do that. This is gonna work.”

“You probably know better than I do that that’s not a guarantee,” Gavin whispered back. “And I just… please, I just want you to know…”

Isaac rolled onto his back, his hands moving through his hair. Fuck it. I already know what he’s gonna say. “Fine. What?”

“Um…” Gavin’s breaths were coming faster now. “I just… wanted to tell you. That I… um… You already know I love you.”

Isaac swallowed hard. “Um. Yeah.”

“Well, I…” Gavin sighed. “Okay, just know that I’m not trying to make anything happen, alright? I’m just telling you this in case I fucking die tomorrow.”

Isaac laughed tightly, shaking his head. Fuck, dude, we might all die tomorrow. “Okay.”

“Well, I…” A deep, shaky breath. “I know that you could never want me, with what I’ve done. Even if I hadn’t hurt Sam. I know you could never want me, because you’re good. But… If there was ever a chance for me to grow up, um, normal, to have never been allowed to hurt people, if I’d never turned into a monster… I would’ve wanted a life with you. And… I’m gonna spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to keep you safe from the syndicates. Even if everything ends tomorrow.”

Isaac lay frozen, stunned. He could hear his pulse in his head, feel his heart beating against his chest. His brain buzzed with disbelief, with shock. Knowing Gavin loved him was one thing. Knowing Gavin loved him like that… was another thing entirely. He didn’t think he’d ever been loved like that before. And to be loved like that by Gavin…

“Sorry,” Gavin whispered, and rolled over again in the dark.

“No, no, I…” Isaac’s voice broke. “Sorry. Um…”

“That was a lot,” Gavin breathed.

“Yeah. But, um… I… I don’t…”

“I told you I wasn’t trying to start anything,” Gavin whispered. “I’m not trying to make anything happen. Okay? I know it won’t. I’m not trying to convince you.”

“I didn’t think you were,” Isaac murmured, his voice almost silent.

“Good,” Gavin huffed. “After everything I’ve done to you, I have no fucking right.”

You didn’t have to convince me to step in front of a bullet for you. “Um, Gavin?”

“Hmm?”

“Uh…” Isaac cleared his throat. “Um… thank you.”

“For what?” Isaac could hear the tremor in Gavin’s voice.

“For… for helping us. I know it’s been hard. I know you didn’t, um… have to.”

“This life is so much better than what I had before, Isaac,” Gavin whispered. “I have a family now. I’ve never had one before. Not really.”

“But—”

“I can’t express to you how much my parents just didn’t fucking care about me, Isaac. Here… yeah, Ellis hates me, and Vera gives me nightmares, but… this is a family. You care about each other. Sam cares about me. Gray cares. Finn cares.”

“I care,” Isaac whispered, the words fading into silence. He clenched his jaw shut. Why did I say that?

“Wh-what?” Gavin breathed.

“Um.” Isaac had to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth. “I care.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

There was a long moment when neither moved. Then Gavin rolled over in the dark, and didn’t say anything else.

The last time I had a conversation like this in the dark, Sam heard the whole thing.

Sam slumbered peacefully next to Isaac, breathing deep and slow.

Continued here

@untilthepainstarts, @womping-grounds, @free-2bmee, @quirkykayleetam, @walkingchemicalfire, @inpainandsuffering, @redwingedwhump, @burtlederp, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog, @insomniacscoprio, @cursedscribbles, @whumpywhumper, @stxck-fxck, @omega-em-z-02, @whumps-the-word, @slaintetowhump, @finder-of-rings, @cinnamonflavoredhugs, @thatsthewhump, @im-just-here-for-the-whump, @orchidscript

[thatrosewoodwriter]

Home Sweet Home

『 When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful. 』

Lottie stared at the walls of her dorm room alone. She slowly approached her bed, seating herself and holding Mr Truffles. As she looked into his big eyes, she smiled softly, stroking his head with her thumb. Reluctantly, she placed him back on her bed and knelt on the floor, sliding her suitcase out from underneath the metal bed frame. Her fingers felt numb as she unzipped the pink suitcase. She stood and mindlessly walked to her neatly folded pile of clothes sitting on her chair. Gently packing her clothes and belongings away in her suitcase, she gently placed her graduation cap that donned her head only a few hours ago on top, followed by her graduation certificate. Zipping up her luggage, she glanced at her bare walls. She did it. She graduated from Rosewood Hall.

『 Every hour we spent together lives within my heart. 』

Jamie was... sad, to day the least. He didn’t plan on coming to Rosewood Hall at all. In fact, he was forced to, but over the course of his time there, he grew to love his time there despite how chaotic it was. He sat on top of his perfectly packed suitcase and reached into his backpack to take the class photo in a white frame out from earlier that day. He noted the signatures of his friends and smiled at their trademark smiles in the image. He thought about when he first had Percy join him in a dorm. He thought about his first time meeting Lottie and how wrong that went. He thought about the princess lessons and combat training. He thought about how much Lottie had grown throughout the years. He thought about the absolute madness of Leviathan. He thought about Takeshin Gakuo and he knew deep down, he’d miss this.

『 And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears. 』

Ellie noticed the barren side of the dorm before anything else. The bed was bare, the walls were empty and the only thing left was to pack up her things, leaving the next residents of the dorm to redecorate and create a new beginning. Neatly packing her belongings, a rare occurrence, she lay atop her bed. Going into the bathroom, she smiled at a tube of black hair dye and pack of plastic gloves. A battle went through her mind as she frowned at the two items. Turning away, she decided on leaving them there for the next students living there. Black hair dye was certainly a powerful friendship sealer. As she opened the door to leave, she noticed two girls, polar opposites, walking side by side to the dorm room she had stayed in for years. She overheard bickering and laughed to herself, smiling at them as she walked past. She’d started a legacy.

『 And when she was happy, so was I; when she loved me. 』

Anastacia slid on her Rosewood Lancers jacket along with her sunglasses. She took one last glance at her dorm room, blowing a kiss goodbye before exiting. Dragging her suitcase behind her, she left it in the Conch lobby. The day was perfect. She glanced down at the ring on her finger, squinting at the speck of blood on the gem. Her mind was taken back to how she felt when Saskia left her and the whole battle at Tompkins Manor. Negative feelings swelled inside her until she felt her phone buzz. Begrudgingly taking it out, she arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at a message from their friends at Takeshin. Opening the message, a sweet smile spread across her lips as she took in the image of Sayuri, Miko, Rio and Wei at their graduation. She’d lived a life and she wasn’t even half way there.

『 Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all. 』

Saskia stared at the image of Sayuri with a bright smile on her face, something she never really got to see. She thought about how surprised they were to discover that the group they hung out with in Japan turned out to be this bad ass biker gang wreaking havoc in the city. Quickly, Saskia sent the four international graduates a photo of their group graduating. An onslaught of congratulations from everyone followed. Memories were shared and tears were shed that day. The curly-haired girl realised there would be a significant decline in interaction after leaving campus. The reality dawned on her that they were all going to have to become adults. No more breaking curfew. No more school trips. No more competitive houses. No more dorms. No more seeing friends daily; and she wasn’t sure how to feel.

『 Just she and I together like it was meant to be. 』

Micky had been inside his dorm saying goodbye and hugging everything he would be leaving behind, thanking each and every one profusely. As he was clearing the shelves of photos, he looked at a photo of everyone with Banshee. He and Lola stood side by side, smiling like there was nothing to worry about when the world was crumbling around them. He spoke to everyone in the photo as if they could hear him. He listed everything he liked about them from their hair to their smile to their fashion style. When he finished, he turned to a photo with the rest of the group inside. He grinned at the sight of Percy and the flood gates of compliments opened. After finishing, he knew he had to tell everyone what he’d said in person.

『 And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her, and I knew that she loved me. 』

Binah had delicately packed all the books that resided in her dorm away in a Tetris-like manner as well as bubble wrapped each individual book. Briefly checking her phone for the never ending abyss of nostalgia. She giggled as she typed the story of how she and some others broke into Rosewood Hall while the rest were in Japan. Taking out her sticky notes, she wrote some riddles about the school’s secrets for the next student living in the space to solve on their new journey. She made it her mission to find out where everyone would be living after leaving behind the most eventful part of their lives so she could send gifts and letters. There was only one thing left to do that day and she knew it’d be the best part of their day.

『 So the years went by, I stayed the same, but she began to drift away. I was left alone. 』

Raphael had always had the feeling that he was left out of all the action. He hadn’t gone to Tompkins Manor, he hadn’t gone to Takeshin either. Taking the Polaroid pictures off the walls, he looked at every one of them. Some were from the Maravish Summer Ball, one was from the pool party over Christmas, Binah had taken one of him giving Valentines roses to himself. He burst out in laughter as he saw all the Halloween photos. Jamie had taken it seriously, meanwhile Raphael went all out. Finally, he finished packing and grimaced at the stains on the wall from blu tack. He dumped his luggage in the lobby by Anastacia’s and quickly sprinted out the doors, breaking the no running rule. Catching the eye of Jamie, he sprinted into his arms.

“Raphael, wait, no, I’ve got coffee-”

『 Still, I waited for the day when she’d say “I will always love you”. 』

Lola had made sure she had enough sweets to last her the trip home. She had packed away her graduation cap to paint later like she’d seen so many others do beforehand and her Instagram was flooded with likes and comments of congratulations on graduating. She opened a Chupa Chup with no difficulty from practice over the years and stuck it in her mouth. She absorbed the empty room and was brought back to the moment she entered so many years ago. She reluctantly stepped back and turned the light off one last time. Lugging her suitcase behind her, she left the premises of her dorm, heading out into the courtyard.

『 Lonely and forgotten, never thought she’d look my way. 』

Percy had cleaned more than he needed to. As he was packing away his things, tears spilled from his dark eyes. The floorboards subtly stained, but the remnants of his melancholic moment temporary. He cleared away all the recyclable materials that decorated his room, stopping on a newspaper that showed an image of himself and Emilia. Leviathan. He scrunched it up as he pursed his lips and chucked it in the large garbage bag beside him. There was no time to think about them right now. He crammed his clothes and belongings into his suitcase with little delicacy. He was ready to leave behind this chapter of his life.

『 And she smiled at me and held me just like she used to do. 』

Liliana Mayfutt’s study had never been filled with such bittersweet energy. Everyone sat in a circle, reminiscing on their high school memories. Playful jabs at each other were thrown, insults were made, a wave of embarrassment crashed on everyone at some point in their final moment together as teenagers. Percy laced his fingers through Micky’s hair gently and smiled at the matching wolf pendants hanging around Lottie, Ellie and Jamie’s necks. The gemstones glinted in unison, glaring in the eyes of starers. Saskia twisted Anastacia’s ring nervously and everyone’s hearts pounded. What was next for them?

『 Like she loved me. When she loved me... 』

Everyone was focused on their phones as they travelled to home away from home. Flipping through their respective year books, the group continued to buzz with old stories and mocking statements. Their cheeks hurt from smiling, their eyes were puffy from crying and their voices were hoarse from talking. Anxiety filled everyone the further they were from Rosewood Hall and hearts raced in a silent chorus of anticipation. They had a new goal in mind, and this time, Leviathan wasn’t going to stop them.

『 When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful. 』

Sayuri sipped her bubble tea in silence as she sat crossed legged in an egg chair. Her eyes followed the Koi fish in the pond as they glided through the water, similar to how she and her friends raced through the streets of Japan atop revving engines and protected by helmets. Effortless. Since their high school days, they’d grown significantly. Miko grew her hair out to her shoulders, maintaining it in soft waves and the periwinkle colour as vibrant as ever. Rio was still as bright as the sun and captured everyone’s attention, meanwhile Wei continued to be his bookish self, the Chinese male equivalent of Binah. They couldn’t wait to meet with their English counterparts.

『 Every hour we spent together lives within my heart. 』

Rosewood Hall was filled to the brim with positive energy. A squad of 26-year-olds roamed the grounds. Professor Devine smiled at the familiar yet new faces of her former students. Dame Bolter threw Ellie and Anastacia foils and smirked as they got into position, sparring on the spot. The two hadn’t lost their skills, in fact, Dame Bolter might have been bold enough to say they’d improved. The development of the graduates was refreshing for every teacher as they witnessed the group pass by, talking like they were a decade younger. Banshee followed eagerly, soaking in the enthusiasm of their friends like sponges, following them down underground to the founder’s study. Percy looked at the gold band on his ring finger and locked his pinky with his fiancee’s. The group smiled and the scholars shared a grin. Home sweet home.

『 When she loved me... 』

[lovehugsandcandy]

Eight Days a Week, Eight Seconds a Kiss (Part 2)  (Colt x MC)

A/N: I don’t even know guys. I don’t even know.

Pairing: Colt x MC, ROD

Length: 1223 words

Rating: PG-13 (Swearing, probably, because I swear a lot.)

Summary: Ellie wants to live her life to the fullest, starting with her first kiss. She just needs a little encouragement.

Tags:  @deimosensblog @alegria1580  @choicesarehard @thefarrari @client-327 @moonlit-girl-wonder @going-down-downtown@soniadotalves@jolietmaraud @hazah@flowerpowell@poeticscolt@brightpinkpeppercorn @zaira-oh-zaira@powdesiree0816 @umiumichan @akrenich

Sunday: That’s No Way to be Living, Kid

“This is totally not gonna work.” Ellie stared at herself in the mirror. “Can I please put my normal clothes back on?”

“You asked for my help!” Colt stood behind her in the mirror. “I like your normal clothes fine, but you’re not trying to impress me, remember?”

“I feel like an idiot.”

He looked like he was about to agree but thought better of it, putting both hands on her shoulders. “Mona does have a distinctive style, but it’s fine. You just gotta switch it up, get Logan to see you in a new light.”

Ellie grimaced and hit his hands, brushing them off her shoulders. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be Logan....”

Colt shrugged. “Yeah, but he is the easiest person, he likes you, close proximity, we can get it over with so I can go back to doing basically anything but this.”

“What, brooding in the basement, getting into fistfights, and arguing with your dad?” She caught his eye in the mirror. “I’m so glad you could find time in your social calendar to help me.”

He rolled his eyes back at her. “Hey, I’m helping, aren’t I?”

She eyed the tube top and miniskirt she had stolen from Mona dubiously, lip curling. “I don’t know if I would call this help.”

“Come on, let’s go upstairs. You’ll see.”

Ellie took a deep breath and followed, unsteadily. This was a bit out of her comfort zone but, now that she started down this path, she thought she owed it to herself to follow through. Logan was nice and super handsome; he was also completely out of her league, but she would try.

By the time she made it up the stairs from basement, she felt awkward. The skirt was too tight and her top definitely needed straps or sleeves or something. She would have turned around but Colt kept a hand on the her back, steady pressure that kept her moving forward. “You got this,” he whispered as they made it the final steps and she walked onto the floor.

Toby was the first person to notice her and, thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice her change in clothes. However, she wasn’t lucky for long.

“Damn, you look as good in that as I do!” Mona looked her up and down, leering, and shot her a wink.

Ximena looked up from the engine she was buried in and smiled when she looked Ellie’s way. “You look great, sweetie.

“What’s going on?” Logan was behind the car, under the muffler, but stood at the commotion. He did a double-take as soon as he saw Ellie, mouth gaping. She saw his eyes take in the outfit, trailing down her body, and dropped the wrench he was holding, which crashed into a can of oil, which overturned like a bad domino and started spilling over the concrete. Logan couldn’t peel his eyes away from her, even with the mess pooling at his feet, and she flushed. The oil keep coming out, spreading under the car, over the floor but still, Ellie couldn’t look away from him. It was like they were the only ones in the room. Maybe the outfit change was a good idea after all.

“For fuck’s sake, it’s like having Muppets work here!”  Ellie jumped when Colt ruined the moment.  He shook his head and stormed over to the mess, grabbing the can and turning it right-side up. “Ridiculous!”

Finally, this seemed to get Logan’s attention and he looked down. “Crap.”

“You know what?” Colt stood up and glared at him. “You stay away. I think you’ve done enough.”

“But I-”

“Ellie, didn’t you need a ride to your driver’s test?” Colt interrupted him and looked at her, imploringly.

“Ummm....”

Colt raised his eyebrows at her. “Logan, just take her. Get out of here.”

“Sure!” Logan grinned at her, like the sun shining at dawn. “Let’s go.”

She headed to his car, turning to glance at Colt, in the middle of the mess. He was starting to clean the spill but looked up to throw her a wink as she walked away. Ellie flushed and, smiling, followed Logan to his car.

~~~~~

Kelso’s was packed for Ellie’s victory dinner when the gang headed inside to pick up their order. There was a bit of a wait and they settled against a high-top, overlooking the street, watching cars speed by and the sun sink down.

“Well?” Colt ducked his head to speak softly. “Did it work?”

Ellie shot him a dirty look. “We did not kiss at my driver’s test, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Why not? The setup was there!” He looked affronted. “It was perfect!”

“I was too busy worrying about getting my license!”

He rubbed his eyes. “I’m starting to think the reason this hasn’t happened for you is because you’re shooting yourself in the foot.”

“It was a bad time! I was already nervous!” Ellie played with her fingers under the table. “I didn’t want to mess it up with him.”

Colt studied her for a moment. “...You really like him, don’t you?”

She grinned, more to herself than him. “...Maybe.”

“Hmmm....” He looked at her for a minute, teeth digging into his lower lip. “Maybe it would be easier if it was someone you didn’t care about....” He glanced around and nudged her with an elbow, raising his chin at a stool in the corner. “What about him?”

Ellie peered over, through the crowd, and scowled. “Seriously? That guy looks like he’s 45 and is missing most of his teeth! What the hell?!?” She elbowed him as he laughed, snug against her at the crowded table.

“How about her?” He nodded to an elderly woman with a cane, edging through the door carefully.

She glared at him, unable to keep the smile off her face. “I think we are going in the wrong demographic direction here!”

“Well, I think there was a baby somewhere around here, would that count?” He  shrugged at her, looking around the room. “I’m trying here!”

“Colt!”

“I’m just saying, you would totally be in with-”

She elbowed him again, starting to laugh herself. “You jerk! You-”

���What are you guys talking about?” Ximena cut in from Ellie’s other side and she and Colt turned their heads in unison.

Ellie thought, desperately, for something to say, a lie to cover up the embarrassing truth. Before her brain started working, Colt jumped in, quick. “I was just teasing Ellie about her driving test. She said it was her lowest test score ever.”

Ximena put her arm around Ellie and squeezed her close. “Don’t listen to him, sweetie, you did amazing.”

Ellie turned to Colt, surprised, and mouthed a quick thank you to him. He smirked back and winked, then turned to the window to look at a pair of bikes. Ellie just stared at his profile, lost in thought.

Finally, he rolled his eyes and turned back to her. “Are you just going to glare at me, or are you going to do something?”

She jumped and could feel the blush starting to stain her cheeks. “What do you...?”

“Here.” He put his arms around her and maneuvered her so that they effectively switched seats, putting her next to Logan with a smirk. “You’re welcome.”

[girls-scenarios]

Your Name on My Heart

Idol: Lua (Weki Meki)

Prompt: Could you do a WeMe Lua soulmate(?) scenario where everyone has their soulmate’s names on their wrist but Lua was born without it

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: Picky Picky is a bop y’all. But being a Lua stan means living off scraps and the behind the scenes videos. Sigh. When will she be given the lines and attention she deserves? Anyway, stan Weki Meki and I hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: I also kind of made this a college au so there’s some drinking, some getting high, and some mentions of getting laid but no actual getting laid.

♡ Tip Jar♡ 

When Lua was born without a name on her wrist, her parents weren’t too worried. After all, it was normal for kids to not get their name until puberty sometimes. Both of her parents had been late to get each other’s name on their wrist, so it was hardly something to make a big deal about. They took her home and didn’t notice anything was wrong. Her classmates didn’t notice, either, not at first. She just figured she was a little late.

But as she started to get older and nothing showed up, people began to notice. Her friends started to ask her where her soulmate’s name was, and she noticed her parents whispering behind their hands when they thought she wasn’t listening, voices worried. On her fifteenth birthday, her parents took her to the doctor, and she knew something had to be wrong.

They ran tests on her, rubbed at the skin and made her look at photos and spit into tubes, only for the doctor to come back and sigh as he flipped through his papers.

“Well, it could either be that she doesn’t have a soulmate,” he said, shaking his head, “or she could have a disorder we call Carpi Praesent. Basically, this would mean that the name on her wrist won’t show up until she’s shared a kiss with her soulmate.”

“A kiss?” Her mother let out a little cry and sunk into the chair, face white. Immediately, her father took her hand, trying to calm her down, while Lua stared at the papers in the doctor’s hand, her mind reeling. She didn’t have a soulmate. Tears pricked at the sides of her eyes and she found herself crying as the doctor reached over to put a hand on her shoulder and her father handed her tissues.

“This doesn’t mean you can’t be happy one day, Lua. But it does mean that your life might be a little bit harder than everyone else’s. You’re a strong girl, aren’t you? You’ll be okay.”

She wasn’t a strong girl. She knew she wasn’t, because these words hurt her, and looking at her parents hurt even worse, because she knew she might never have this. But she had to be strong, so she nodded her head and willed herself to stop crying as her mother asked the doctor if it was because of something she did while she was pregnant.

After the doctor’s visit, Lua told her friends that she had a disease where the name wouldn’t show up. What she didn’t say was that she might not have a soulmate, because she didn’t want anyone else to know. It made her mother cry at night, and it made her father’s hair go grey in places, and it made her grandmother look at her with pity in her eyes, so Lua couldn’t bear for anyone else to know. If anyone had to be hurt, it should be her, not her friends.

So she grinned and pretended that everything was okay, even if she was crying inside.

-

Years later, Lua had gotten a lot more used to not having a soulmate. Sure, she looked at her coworkers and her friends and saw them with their soulmates and felt a little bit jealous, but she didn’t take it so personally anymore. She worked hard to gain respect and not be known for her lack of a soulmate. Medical school was hard, but she didn’t have to worry about love or a relationship or anything outside of school, so she didn’t really mind it. When people asked her why she was going into medicine, she just shrugged and told them that it was because she was interested in it. She didn’t say that it was because she didn’t want anyone else to suffer like she did when she was younger.

Then she met you.

It was pure coincidence, really. You weren’t in medical school, but somehow, the two of you had ended up volunteering for the same school fundraiser and had been put at a table together. You were a fairly upbeat person with a nice smile and a friendly personality, and Lua found it amazing how quickly the two of you clicked. It was just easy to talk to you, almost like she’d known you her entire life. The two of you spent the entire fundraiser talking, and after it was done and the sun had long disappeared, you typed your number into her phone and told her to text with you a smile. And as she walked back to her dorm, looking down at your name in her phone, she found that she really wanted to.

Even though the two of you were in completely different areas of study, it just became habit to meet up in the mess hall for lunch between classes. Sometimes the two of you chatted, complaining about professors and homework loads, and other times the two of you studied together, just happy to be with each other as you worked. It was a weird dynamic, but it worked. Lua never felt awkward around you. The two of you could sit silently in a room together and still feel comfortable, and Lua liked that. Liked being around you. She tried not to think too much about what that could mean.

A few times, the thought of dating you popped into her head, and she realized that she’d never seen your wrist mark. But she would quickly dismiss it as coincidence every time, not wanting to get her hopes up over nothing. So the two of you danced around each other, staying friends even if her other friends thought it was weird, neither of you taking the next step.

That is, until the party.

“Hey, are you busy Friday night?” You asked her, looking up from your textbook to lock eyes with her. She was laying on her bed, reading up on terms for her next exam while you occupied her desk, a normal setup for the two of you whenever you studied in her room. She blinked, trying to think about what her schedule looked like. She was pretty sure she was free, but....

“Why?”

You looked a little bit nervous as you shrugged your shoulders, but she hardly recognized it. “Oh, one of my friends is throwing a party to celebrate the end of midterms. I thought I’d ask you to come with me. It’s cool if you’re busy though.”

“I think I’m free. Is it going to be a big party?” She closed her book, biting her lip. She’d never been to anything other than small parties with her friends where they all drank a little bit and played games and watched movies. When it came to big college parties, she was in the dark. You laughed softly and nodded your head, making her heart jump a bit.

“Yeah, she’s in a sorority, so it’s going to be pretty huge.”

“I’ve never been to a party like that,” she admitted to you, giving you a sheepish smile. “I guess I’m a bad college student.”

“Don’t say that! I’ve honestly only been to a few myself, but they were both fun so I thought I’d ask you to come along this time. But if you aren’t comfortable I’m not going to force you to come.”

She looked down at her sheets and thought about it for a moment. As intimidating as the idea of a big party was, she found herself wanting to go with you. What was the worst that could happen? “No, I’ll come. What time is it?”

-

It took her a while to decide what to wear, but she decided on a pair of skinny jeans and one of her favorite pink crop-tops, pulling her newly-dyed hair back into a ponytail. She was in the middle of deciding how to do her makeup when her roommate came back and gave her a look.

“Where are you going?” Elly asked, tossing her bag onto her bed. Lua had known Elly for a while, since high school, so she knew that Elly knew she didn’t do these things. Still, she let out an awkward laugh and picked up a lip gloss, carefully applying it to her lips. Did she look kissable? Why did she even care?

“(Y/N) invited me to a party their sorority friend is throwing,” she said, turning her attention to her earrings. “So I’m going with them.”

“Oh. That’s interesting. Have fun and don’t get too smashed. Call me if you need someone to pick you up.” Elly didn’t sound too surprised, which in turn surprised Lua. She turned around, eyebrows raised.

“You aren’t going to tell me not to go?”

“Nah. They’re fun, I’ve been to a few. Plus you’re going with (Y/N) and I trust them,” she said, sitting down on her bed, and Lua slowly put her earrings down.

“Oh. Uh, is my outfit okay for a party like this?”

“Yeah, only freshmen get really dressed up for parties. You look good, don’t worry about it and get out there. Just stay safe and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Didn’t you drunkenly make out with Suyeon before you knew she was your soulmate at a party once?”

“Hey! Shut up, who told you about that?”

“Suyeon.”

“Goddammit, I told her that I’m supposed to be the responsible one so she can’t just go airing my party animal freshman year to you guys!” Elly huffed and pulled out her phone, and Lua laughed, quickly grabbing her phone. It was always fun to tease the older girl. It made her nerves calm down a little, and she took one last look at her appearance before heading to the door.

“Bye, I’ll be home eventually!”

“Oh whatever. Go get laid!”

“Elly!”

The air was a little more chilly than she’d expected it to be, and she shivered a bit as she walked out the door. You were standing in front of her dorm building, and you smiled as you saw her. As she stepped down to stand beside you, she swallowed slightly. You looked nice, hair done and wearing tight pants much like she was. She tried to chase Elly’s words from earlier away.

“Ready?” You asked, and she nodded, giving you a grin.

“Ready.”

She hadn’t been ready. She liked to think that she had a pretty high alcohol tolerance, but whatever had been in the red cups shoved into your hands at the door had tasted like cleaning fluids and already had her feeling tipsy. The music was loud, and she didn’t even know where it was coming from, but it made the entire house shake every time the base was played, and she already had a headache, but the alcohol made it a little more bearable.

She found herself in the kitchen alone, blinking in confusion over how she’d gotten there and where you’d gone. But a girl who looked vaguely familiar named Sejeong shoved another drink into her hands and yelled “get turnt” so she felt like she had to drink again. When you reappeared at her side, your cheeks were slightly flushed, and she was much less in control of her thoughts and feelings.

“How’s the party so far?” You asked, yelling over the music, and she grinned, leaning back against the counter.

“It’s fine. Better since you’re back.”

“Are you helpless without me?”

“Yeah. I’ve never been to one of these before, you know?”

“Okay, then I’ll stay by your side. But you have to promise to dance with me.” You caught her wrist, and her skin felt like it was on fire from the feeling of your fingertips.

“Dance?”

You giggled, and she liked the sound. “That’s what you do at these things.”

“Oh. Sure.”

The living room was a sea of bodies dancing to the music, and as you tugged her towards it, she felt a little nervous. But the liquid courage must have kicked in, because as soon as the song changed to something she knew, she let you pull her in closer. She knew how to dance, professionally, but this wasn’t anything like that. This was something much more sensual, bodies touching and pressing, and the air felt so hot that she was dizzy. But you were there in front of her, so she just let her foggy mind take control, her body moving, out of her own control.

The next thing she knew, the two of you were giggling and tripping into one of the rooms upstairs, and she fell back onto a bed that wasn’t hers and wasn’t yours, staring at the ceiling and trying to steady herself. Where was she again? She felt your weight sink into the bed beside her, and your head rested on her shoulder, making her feel hot all over again.

“(Y/N)?”

“I’m right here.” You sounded sleepy, and when she glanced over, she was able to make out that your eyes were closed, even in the darkness of the room.

“You’re a sleepy drunk.”

“No I’m not. I just wanted to close my eyes.” As if refuting your own statement, you yawned, making her giggle.

“Sure.”

“Well, you’re a weird drunk.”

“You have no proof.”

“No, I have lots of proof. This is the first time I’ve seen you let go. You’re always so serious and focused on school.”

Lua fell quiet, staring back up at the ceiling. It was true, she didn’t usually let herself go, not like this. She was always nervous, always worried about what people would think. It probably came with the fact that she’d been different all her life. “I let go all the time. Just the other day I danced to Gangnam Style with you.”

“You know what I mean.” She did know what you meant, so she shut up, closing her own eyes. She felt your hand come up to rest on her stomach, and her heart spiked. It was a gentle touch, but it was still too much, because she’d never felt anything like this before. She shouldn’t let herself fall like this. But she laid there and let you, blaming it on the fog in her head.

“Why do you hang out with me if I’m so serious and boring?” The question spilled out, and she regretted it for a moment as you stayed silent, drawing circles on her bare skin.

“I like you. We’re a lot alike.”

“Are we?”

“Yeah. You know, I was born without my soulmate mark too.” At your works, she froze, opening her eyes again. Suddenly, it made sense. Why you were always wearing long sleeves or something around your wrist.

“Really?”

“Really. I thought I was going to be alone forever. I thought I was the only one. But then I met you, and... I just had this connection to you. I wanted to be close to you forever.”

She swallowed as she felt her stomach twist, a strange yet familiar feeling welling up in her chest. It was fear. She was afraid. Just because neither of you had a name, that didn’t mean that you were the one for her. What if she got in the way? What if she hurt you? What if it didn’t work out? She felt like crying, because it was all so much. But also because she felt the same way about you, and she’d just never wanted to admit it. She’d never wanted to get her hopes up.

“There’s so many scary things,” she said aloud, voice soft and shaky, and she felt you shift your weight beside her.

“But if we don’t challenge those scary things, we might never know.” You were right, of course. You were always right. But that didn’t make it any less scary.

“I know. I want to. I’m just afraid.”

Your hand stalled on her stomach, and she closed her eyes tight again, waiting.

“Let me kiss you.” Your voice was firm, and it made her heart jump again.

“What?”

“Let me kiss you. Please. If we really have that disorder, you know the one. The one we’ve been told about our whole lives. If we really have it, kissing our soulmate is the only way to find out.” She opened her eyes to see that your face was only inches away from hers now, and your eyes were open and clear. She suddenly felt sober again as her mind ran through her options. She could be scared. She could back away, run away, run back to the not scary side of things and ruin what might be forever, but save herself from heartbreak. But she didn’t want to. She wanted to kiss you so bad it hurt.

So she turned her body to face you on that unfamiliar bed and faced her fears. “Go ahead. Kiss me.” You looked almost shocked at her words before you lunged forward, pressing your lips against hers. The feeling was foreign, because she’d never been kissed before, but she liked it. Slowly, as the need built up in her chest again, she began to kiss you back, moving her lips even though she was unsure and scared.

As soon as she began to kiss you back, you brought your hand up to the back of her neck and began to kiss her harder, pressing your body closer, and all her fear went out the window, lost in the fact that she was kissing you. You, who she’d fallen for so long ago and had been too afraid to admit it. She wrapped her arms around you, and let you climb on top of her, giving you more access to her mouth as her heart threatened to explode in her chest. Her entire body was hot, but there was something weird, a strange sensation on her hand. You must have felt it too, because you finally pulled away, both of you breathing hard. Even though you’d told her not to be afraid, she could see worry in your eyes as you paused, staring into her eyes.

“Should we check?” This time, Lua decided to be the brave one. She took a deep breath and pulled her hand from behind you to look. There, on her wrist, was your name in small letters. This time, when she felt like crying, she actually did, and you gasped. “Really? It’s really there?”

“It’s really there,” she whispered, showing you, and you slowly looked at your own wrist, only to burst into tears when you saw her name on your dominate hand.

“I’m so happy I don’t know what to do,” you said, wiping at your tears. She smiled and leaned up to press her forehead against yours, basking in this new feeling. She had a soulmate. She wasn’t broken after all. And she didn’t have to be afraid to love you anymore.

“Just stay here with me and kiss me some more.” The words made her feel giddy, and they made you smile through your tears, wrapping your arms around her again.

“I love you,” you said, closing your eyes, and she caressed your face before moving in to kiss you. She didn’t care about anything else but you: not the loud music, the sounds of people outside of the room, or how much Elly was going to gloat when she came home. She had you in her arms, and nothing else mattered as she turned to press you into the mattress, determined to show just how much she loved you, even if it took all night.

“I love you too.”

[chromecutie]

Not a Ghost - part 7

A/N - Look! A fluff! I still do those! Multi-part fic. Colossus x OC where OC has come home after being wrongfully imprisoned in the Icebox. Warnings for whole fic - references and flashbacks to harsh prison environment, including various types of abuse. Takes place shortly after events in Deadpool 2. Whole thing will end up on my AO3 eventually.

Taglist: @emma-frxst  @ra-ra-rasputiin  @holamor ​  @empressme-bitch  @marvel-is-perfection  @hazilyimagine ​ @marvel-forever-17 @rovvboat (also @angstybadboytrash ​ @whitewitchdown ​ and @master-sass-blast ​ had expressed interest on my original pitch post). Wanna be added or removed? Holla at me.

-------------------------

Ellie and Yukio had returned with several shopping bags, Yukio giggling and Ellie beaming in her quiet way. As they started dumping clothes on the bed to show Rhonda, Piotr took his cue to bow out. “I have something to take care of,” he said just loudly enough to be heard over the excitement, “You girls have fun!”

Rhonda shot her husband a relaxed smile, “Catch up to you later, honey.”

When the bedroom door clicked shut, Yukio toured Rhonda over the new pairs of leggings and flowing tank tops and cardigans. She brushed her pink ponytail over her shoulder and said, “I wasn’t sure what colors you like, and this one-” she pointed at Ellie, “-would only ever wear black if I let her.”

Ellie retorted, “There’s nothing wrong with black, it goes with everything.” She proceeded to dump a bag that was all underwear, bras, and socks. Incidentally, most of its contents were black or charcoal grey. “I thought you’d like these, though,” she pointed out a pair of socks with little Corgis printed on them.

Rhonda was laughing in earnest, and it was the best she’d felt in ages. “I love them! Thank you both so much!”

At Yukio’s insistence, Rhonda tried on every outfit and modeled for them in a sequence that was straight out of every shopping montage from every chick flick. Ellie shook her head at her girlfriend, but never stopped smiling. After mixing and matching a few pieces, Rhonda settled on an outfit to wear the rest of the day - purple floral print leggings, a grey tank top with pink donuts, with a teal cardigan, and of course the Corgi socks. She could hardly decide if any of Yukio’s selections were her taste, but at least the clothes were comfortable and she was more than grateful that the girls had spent this kind of time on helping her.

Yukio started to take off all the tags and fold everything into neat stacks. Ellie absently tugged at her pierced ears while she watched Rhonda flap the long front pieces of her cardigan. “I have this for you too,” Ellie said as she pulled out a phone and a set of earbuds. “I cleared off my old phone and loaded up a bunch of music you missed.”

Rhonda's jaw fell open, “Um, thank you!” She took the phone and started scrolling through the music. There were a lot of pop stars’ and bands’ names she recognized, but plenty more she didn't. She realized she could barely fathom all the music, movies, and who knows what else she had missed. “Nicki Minaj collaborated with Beyonce? Wow! Who’s Imagine Dragons? Wait...why is Linkin Park on here? This song isn’t new.”

Both girls’ faces shifted to sad surprise. Ellie hesitated, “Oh, uh...Chester died in 2017.”

“What?” Rhonda whimpered like a kicked puppy, “Nooo…”

Ellie rolled right through a few more celebrity deaths. “David Bowie and Alan Rickman died. Carrie Fisher--”

“WHAT?”

“Carrie Fisher’s mom--”

Yukio broke in, “Stop telling her everyone who died! We talked about this!” She held out her hand to Rhonda for the phone. “Here, let me.” She picked a song and let it play. It sounded like an 80s pop song - upbeat, airy, energetic, lyrics involved a lot of, “Shut up and dance with me.” It sounded happy, just what Rhonda needed.

As they listened, Yukio bobbed her head and moved her arms along with a beaming smile. Ellie opted for more subdued foot tapping. Once Rhonda got the beat, she couldn’t resist her feet moving. Her hips swayed, she absently made a couple turns. Absolutely delighted, Yukio tapped Ellie’s shoulder, “You said she’s like a cool mom, but you didn’t tell me she dances!”

Faltering right before she was about to try a high kick, Rhonda halted, “Hm? What?”

“Are you a dancer?” Her bright eyes and swishing pink hair made Rhonda smile. She was exactly the kind of person she’d always hoped Ellie might date.

Shifting, a little color rose on her cheeks. “Oh...I used to. Long time ago.” It even looked like she shrank a little.

Recognizing sheepishness from a mile away, Ellie changed the subject, “Metallica dropped a new album.”

Rhonda lit up anew. “Ooh! I need it.”

Ellie gave a half smile and pointed at the phone, “It’s in there.” She took a small shopping bag from the pocket of her jeans, rustling the black plastic. “One more thing…” Rising to her feet, she shifted uncomfortably. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want this, or if it’s even the right shade, but, um, here.”

The tiny bag was from a makeup store, and Rhonda pulled out a tube of concealer.

At her puzzled expression, Ellie hurried an explanation, “I’m not saying I think you should cover anything, if you don’t want to. I just - I just thought maybe you’d like the option. If you want to.”

Rhonda stood stockstill for a moment, concealer in hand, then crossed over to the bathroom. Ellie wilted, trying to figure out the right apology if she had overstepped. She was about to try to follow into the bathroom when Rhonda came out - wearing a cautious smile and a dab of makeup to cover the teardrop tattoos on her cheek. The color wasn’t perfect, but it was close enough.

The woman held her hands out expectantly, turning her face to show one cheek, then the other for comparison.

Ellie smiled, more at how she looked more relaxed than the makeup itself, “Looks good.”

“It looks great!” Yukio encouraged, crossing over to hug Rhonda.

“Thank you both,” Rhonda said softly, and reached out an arm to pull Ellie in too. “Thank you so much.”

In another few minutes, the girls left to go about their day and Rhonda went looking for Piotr, to see what he thought of her new clothes and makeup.

[irageneveart]

If you're in the mood for some angsty headcanons, how do you think the rfa would react to discovering that mc is anorexic?

hii Anony 🧡 I hope you’re okay! I added a pretty link with eating disorder hotlines if it would help you but on the phone app the link was broken and it looked weird and I can’t sleep knowing it looks like that xigxcphcvh I’m sorry

now, I’m by no means a writer and this is actually the first time I’m publicly  writing HCs (asuming you really sent this to me and it’s not a mistake xDD) but I enjoyed it! please feel free to tell me what you think. also, I am not dealing with this disorder so even if I did some research, I might not be the most accurate in the descriptions. if something comes off disrespectful please let me know!

thank you for your request! hope you enjoy

I kind of went overboard with some so everything under the cut lol

RFA discovering their MC is anorexic

ZEN

you always had a thing for your weight. carefully chosen food, daily exercises, nothing too out of common, you just wanted to stay in those healthy digits

having a modeling actor as your boyfriend definitely added some pressure on your shoulders. “I shouldn’t gain weight, I don’t want to damage his image, All those beautiful girls he is working with…I should take care of my weight, I need to stay in shape”

innocent thoughts that turned into poison whenever you saw food

you could get away with it for a while, Zen is not one to eat regularly either, but one night he accidentally caught you in the bathroom trying to free your stomach from the little dinner you ate earlier

“Oh god, babe, are you alright?” he rushes to your side thinking you’re sick. burning tears fall down your cheeks, and you break down telling him everything. he is heartbroken that you are feeling like this, holding you close and telling you how much he loves you

he starts making meal plans for both of you and showers you in constant praise to raise your self-esteem, you’re perfect the way you are and nothing will change that, not weight, age, nothing. he’s always careful to pepper in plenty of kisses whenever you two finish your food

YOOSUNG

since you and Yoosung moved in together, making breakfast and different dinner ideas from You Tube started to be Yoosung’s favorite way to spend his free days. tell him he did great and he’ll be over the moon

slowly he starts noticing you are skipping meals and your health is slowly declining, and the poor boy starts worrying. he doesn’t say anything for a while, but with every meal you leave in the plate he grows more anxious

is he doing something wrong? you don’t like his cooking anymore? should he change the channel he’s following? Yoosung pls

he decides to confront you about it, and boy he wasn’t ready. when you break down he nervously pulls you into a hug, worried and sad because he thought something else, angry he didn’t notice it faster. but it was not time for that, because you were there, a sobbing mess in his arms. you can let all your frustrations and anger out, he will listen and he will try his best not to cry with you. he is the shoulder you need and he won’t move from your side until your hands are not shaking anymore and until your breathing is steady

he’ll go together with you to support groups, cause he needs help to help you. he does his very best to give you all the body and mental care he can, and all the meals he is making now are with your consent, no more surprises: do you think chicken or beef will be fine tonight? we can only have a salad, what about a warm bowl of soup? he is there for you, reminding you that you’re doing amazing and that you’re all he ever dreamed of

JAEHEE

With so much work to do, she didn’t really used to eat regularly and she was always happy when you reminded her to so she won’t pass out during the day. but since you two started your own business Jaehee had more time for herself and for her beloved girlfriend, making sure to return the care tenfold

as you moved in together things started to be a bit different, and Jaehee was quick to notice. you look pale, you’re acting more tired even in your free days and whenever you two make a proper dinner you’re not touching the food in your plate at all.

 noticing your declining health, Jaehee immediately demands you to get a physical. moment when you break down and tell her all your story, trying your best not to sound pathetic

Jaehee cups your face, her voice calm and full of love “We’re beating this, together. I love you, MC, and I will always do” she declares and with tears falling down your cheeks you believe her, nodding your head

she will constantly remind you that you’re so beautiful and strong and she will keep tracks of your meds. it will be a hard recovery but Jaehee is with you, and nothing will make her back down from seeing you happy and healthy by her side.

JUMIN

Jumin’s schedule is very strict, but since you moved into the penthouse he is trying his best to come home so you two can have dinner. you waiting for him with homemade food made him all happy inside, his beautiful wife transforming his big and cold house into a warm and happy home.

however the business demands grew in number for few days and he met your dinner with apologizing texts. you know he was trying his best, but as the days pass by you can’t help but overthink, darker thoughts slowly killing you inside

holding Elizabeth in your arms, you start to talk to the cat as if she would understand. “Elly, I’m…I’m afraid.” you confess one day as the beautiful white animal comes into your lap on the couch. “What if he grew bored of me? What if he found …someone else. better, with more beautiful shapes.” you try to remember all the wonderful words he whispers in your ear when you two share the bed, how he loves and touches every part of you, but when you look into the mirror you can’t help but wonder if it was all true. how could he love you? you’re not thin enough, your hips and breasts are not the right size or shape. why would he love you

few more days pass by until one morning you wake up to the sweet smell of pancakes, Jumin nowhere to be found. as you come to the kitchen you see him there, breakfast ready on the table. “Good morning, my angel. I took the day free, I could not bare another day without you.” he states and smile, and you feel your knees grow weak. you really missed him too and you hold him as close as you can

as you were playing with the food in your plate and were talking with him, you notice his expression turn serious all of the sudden.

“MC, I have something I believe we need to discuss. I noticed that our fridge is completely unchanged for the past few days, and forgive me my dear wife, for being suspicious of you, but I am afraid you have not been eating.”

as he was speaking you could feel your face warm up, tears threatening your eyes. he stands, feels your forehead and you start to feel cold and dizzy all of the sudden, your walls breaking down. “Tell me everything.” he demands and you can’t help but tell him, bursting into tears. you can even yell and scream and he will not get angry, he sees you’re in pain and he waits until you tire yourself out, rubbing your back or your head, not leaving your side

this is not happening for his beautiful and perfect wife, his sunshine, his angel, his one flower in the winter-covered field that is his life. his schedule changes completely, now he is with you every breakfast and never misses dinner again. if you refuse to seek professional help, he will personally watch you eat, small amounts to start but he will make sure you will always have fruits and vegetables and all various kinds of meat where you can choose from. you are his goddess, and he will whisper praise into your ear, telling you how perfect he thinks you are every day and every night, every inch of you bringing him happiness. you are loved, and you are perfect

SAEYOUNG

weird eating habits? that’s Saeyoung’s middle name. one of them

Seven is not the most observant one when it comes to food, but he does observe your change in behavior. you are more and more tired, pale and whenever the dinner is ready you find an excuse not to come

Seven, Saeran and Vandy are all living together with MC after the secret endings and you can’t change my mind

he trusts you, so he doesn’t think too much on it. if something is wrong you will tell him… right? right?? but when Vanderwood points out that you haven’t eaten at all in the past few days, Saeyoung starts getting worried

he wastes no time confronting you. that night, assured by the dark in the bedroom you two share, he slowly gets behind you into the bed, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer. he knows you’re not sleeping, but he still whispers slowly into your ear. “The honey to my buddha chips, what is wrong?”

you don’t answer, his tender and worried tone making your eyes teary. he presses a soft kiss on your shoulder, nudging his nose into your nape. you’re not fooling him

you turn around to face him, his golden eyes soft with worries were glued on yours. when you tell him that you can’t help feeling the way you do, he cares your forehead and will listen in silence all you have to say. the more you explain, even in the dark, you can see his face turns sad. you panic and start to apologize, you don’t want to be a burden, you know it’s not right but you can’t help all those thoughts

he stops you from apologizing by softly kissing your lips, and then he shakes his head. “The only thing that bothers me is that I can’t give you my eyes, MC, so you can see how beautiful and perfect you are for me.” the vulnerability in his eyes made you bite your lip, tears rolling down into the pillow.

family therapy! let’s face it the only one that knows how to properly eat in that house is Vandy. with your consent, Seven will tell them about your eating disorder and in the solidarity of the moment, Saeran admits he also shared these feelings after leaving Mint Eye. Vanderwood was the one to slowly but surely make him get on the right path, and all three of them are there for you as well. you’re part of the family, and they all wouldn’t see it the same without you. Seven gets nagged by Vanderwood, putting you in his care and in the same time putting Seven in your care. “Maybe this way he’ll learn he needs real food from time to time too”

you giggled. that’s true, as imperfect as each of you are they’re the perfect family for you

Saeyoung will make sure to remind you that, to make you laugh during meals, cheer for you with the whole cheerleader thing and to praise you

“you’re my better half, MC, now show me how these fries should be eaten because I seem to?? forget?? fries beep beep information not found please reboot” he jokes and you can’t help but shake your head and laugh. he’s such a dork

[greysanatomy-station19addict]

If Tomorrow Never Comes

This fic goes with my last one Come Back to Me 😊

As doctors we are trained to put others before ourselves. We are trained to push our emotions aside and face the world head on. We are expected to run towards disasters when everyone else is running away. We are supposed to be superhero's, able to fix the unfixable. Strong and noble. But we are also human. We have our breaking point. We can only take so much trauma, so many disasters before we break. As doctors we are supposed to be invincible and brave, but when disaster strikes, sometimes, sometimes it can become too much to bare.

For the last two years Alex has done nothing but try and protect Meredith. From the moment he had to pick her up off the floor after she told them Derek died, to the time he had to fly to San Diego after she had Ellis, he has stood by her, protecting her from any harm that came her way. Things had been fine for so long that they were starting to get comfortable again. It was almost like they had forgotten bad things could happen, except they would never forgot. If bad things never happened, George would still be alive, Izzie wouldn't have gotten cancer, Lexie wouldn't have been crushed by an airplane, Mark wouldn't have died and Derek wouldn't have been struck by a semi. Bad things were inevitable, but for Meredith they were trivial. She has experienced more loss and pain than anyone and deserves so much to be happy, but somehow disaster always seems to find her.

It was a typical day at the hospital. Nothing out of the ordinary was happening, everything was routine, early surgery, rounds, morning surgery, check on patients, the same as any other day. Except this day, this day was one Alex never wanted to happen. It was something he always feared, but also something he didn't know he feared because he never believed something like this could happen. He constantly wondered why bad things kept happening, why there are so many disasters.

Alex was in the OR, just getting ready to finish a surgery. From the corner of his eye he saw Jo walk into the OR and stand close to the door awkwardly before speaking.

"Dr. Karev, are you almost done?"

"I'll will be in just a second, what is it Wilson?"

"I'll wait." She spoke softly, almost sounding like her voice was cracking while keeping her head down and her eyes on the floor the whole time.

"Alright, I'm all done. What is it?" When he finally met her eyes, he could see the somber look she had. Her eyes glazed over with tears. She took a deep breath before responding.

"Alex, it's Meredith…" His heart stopped. It had been such a long time since he heard those words that he had almost forgotten what happens when they're spoken.

"Oh no Jo, what happened? Where is Meredith?" The eagerness in his voice was almost frightening.

"She's in the ER. She was attacked." His eyes widened as she spoke. He couldn't believe what she was saying.

"What do you mean she was attacked? I saw her here this morning, she hasn't left the hospital."

"Alex, she was attacked by a patient. I think, you need to get down there."

While still unable to actually process what was happening, Alex ran as fast as he could towards the ER. The tears in his eyes threatened to fall but he was determined to be strong. Once he reached the ER he searched the board for Meredith's name, but couldn't find it. He looked around for a minute before he could hear gasps and he knew instantly where Meredith was.

When he walked into the trauma room, it was a sight he wished he never had to see. The tears that had threatened his eyes before were now streaming down his cheeks. He had seen Meredith in a lot of bad situations, but this, this was the worst. For the first time, in a long time he really thought he was actually going to lose her. He stood at Meredith's head trying to wrap my mind around what was happening. Everyone worked on her, Dr. Webber told Maggie she couldn't work on family, when in reality, everyone in that room was Meredith's family. He inserted a chest tube, because her lung had collapsed. He tried speaking to her, asking her questions, but she wasn't responding. He begged her to answer him, to move her legs, anything, but nothing. It was then he realized that her eardrum was ruptured and she couldn't hear anything we were saying. Jackson quickly leaped into action, and as he was assessing her she began to crash. He watched them pop her jaw back into place and heard her scream in pain, and there was nothing he could do to help her. He had never felt so helpless before in my life.

They wheeled her out of the trauma room and Alex just stood there and watched. He couldn't move. He was afraid to move. Afraid that if he walked out of the room to see what was going on, by the time he got to her, she would be gone. He couldn't lose her. His whole body was overcome with emotion. His hands covered his face, trying to hide the tears flowing from his eyes, but nothing could be hidden. Not this time. When he finally started to see clearly again he could see Amelia sat on the floor of the trauma room. Alex walked towards her as their eyes met. He could feel the pain in her eyes radiate through his body. While her eyes were dry and her face was emotionless, he could feel her pain. He reached his hand out to her and helped her up off the floor. She remained silent, but her knees grew weak as she looked into his eyes. He somehow found the strength within his body to hold her up. He held her close and wrapped his arms around her, trying to bring her comfort. He wanted to speak, tell her everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't because in this situation he couldn't speak words he couldn't be sure would be true. Amelia loosened her grip and took one final look at him before walking out of the trauma room.

Alex got himself together and walked back into the ER and looked around. Everyone had gone upstairs with Meredith. He began to head that way, but found himself walking towards the attending's lounge instead. He went in and sat down alone. He tried so hard to escape his thoughts, but they were running wild through his head. He sat there alone for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only minutes when he saw Bailey run past the room. As she looked in and seen him sat in here alone she stopped in her tracks and came over.

"Alex, are you ok?" That was a pretty open ended question when she knew he definitely wasn't ok. Alex was unable to find the words to speak, so he just shrugged his shoulders. Bailey knew, just as well as he did that this was bad. She had seen Meredith face just as many disasters as he did. She knew how hard this was for him. She knew it was only him and Meredith left. She knew that they could lose her and she knew that would break him.

"Meredith Grey is strong, Alex. She is the strongest person I know. She will pull through this." Her words were not one-bit comforting. Alex nodded as Dr. Bailey spoke and tried to hide the tears that fell from his eyes.

"I'll go see where they are and I will come back and let you know." Alex nodded, as he had no words. Dr. Bailey placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it before leaving the room.

Alex sat back in the chair and to wrap his mind around how things like this always happen to Meredith. Why did they always happen to her? No matter how hard her tried he couldn't protect her from the bad things. Cristina left him in charge of Meredith, he was her person and he failed her. How was he going to tell Cristina? He didn't want to be the one to tell her that Meredith was in trouble once again. His heart ached at the thought that if Meredith didn't pull through that he would have to tell Cristina that she was gone. He couldn't break another person, but he also had to tell her. Cristina needed to know, because if he was about to lose her, Cristina needed to be here.

He pulled his phone out of the pocket of his lab coat and found Cristina's name under his contacts. He knew it was the middle of the night in Zurich, but he also knew if he didn't do this now, he wasn't sure he would. He dialed the number and after a few rings Alex could hear Cristina's sleepy voice on the other end.

"Evil Spawn, do you have any idea…" she was unable to finish her sentence before Alex interrupted her.

"Cristina…" she could tell just by the sound of his voice that this was not a good call. Something was wrong.

"Alex, what is it? Is it Meredith?" he didn't respond quickly enough for her liking and she became even more worried.

"Alex, please. What happened?"

"It's Meredith…" deep down Cristina already knew it was Meredith. It was always Meredith. Whenever she got a call in the middle of the night from Seattle, it was always bad. Seattle Grace Mercy Death strikes again she thinks.

"Alex, is Meredith dead?" She could hear Alex sigh heavily on the phone and his voice begin to shake.

"Oh my god, Alex. She's dead?" Her world started spinning. Tears flowed from her eyes almost instantly. Not again she thought. She couldn't lose anyone else. She couldn't take anymore. She didn't have any more goodbyes in her.

"No Cristina, she's not dead, but…" There was always a but. The but was always the scariest part.

"But what Alex? Just tell me."

"She was attacked by a patient. She's alive, but she's not doing very well. She's got so many injuries. I couldn't, I couldn't watch anymore. She has to stay alive, Cristina, I need her. I can't do this without her." Cristina could tell he was crying. The Alex she knew would never openly cry like that so she knew it must be bad.

"Alex, don't do this. You need to be with her. You are her person now and she needs you. Meredith is strong, but she needs you. Alex, I'm coming. I will be there as soon as I can." She heard him take a deep breath and assumed he was trying to compose himself before responding.

"Hurry Yang, she needs you…We both do."

"I'll be on the next flight out, and Alex…" she could tell he hesitated before responding.

"Yeah?"

"She better be alive when I get there."

Alex sat in the attending's lounge alone, in the dark, thinking how glad he was Cristina was coming and praying to god that he wouldn't take Meredith. He played over in his head how he would tell the kids, Zola and Bailey. They had already lost one parent; they couldn't lose the only one they had left. Sobs escaped his body. He cried for the children who were upstairs in daycare, unaware of what had happened. The children who had become like his own, but still needed their mother more than anything. He couldn't control the tears anymore. He couldn't take it anymore. He laid his head down on the couch he was sat on and somehow, he had managed to fall asleep.

He was woken up a short while later by a soft touch on his shoulder shaking him awake.

"Alex, Alex, you need to wake up…" Alex's eyes opened slowly at first and then suddenly after realizing what was happening. He could feel his heart begin to race as his eyes first met with Bailey's who was shaking him awake and then with Jackson's who had been stood behind her with tired somber eyes.

"Oh my god, she's dead isn't she. That's why there's two of you." Alex shot up off the couch, Bailey looked at him sympathetically and then looked at Jackson. Jackson spoke up, as he knew this was difficult for Bailey.

"Karev, calm down, she's not dead." Relief washed over Alex's face.

"She's in rough shape, but I think she'll pull through. She's intubated, her jaw is wired shut, she is still unable to hear and her leg is pretty badly banged up, but she's strong, she should pull through."

Once again Alex was unable to control his emotions. He almost collapsed onto the floor upon hearing Jackson's revelation of Meredith's injuries. Jackson grabbed ahold of him before he hit the floor and helped him back to the couch. Bailey sat next to him and held his hand in hers. Although she remained strong, this hurt her as much as Alex. She had five interns, and now it was just Alex and Meredith left and she honestly couldn't face losing another.

"Alex, Meredith is going to be ok. She has a long road ahead of her, but she will be fine." Alex breathed a sigh of relief and nodded.

"Do you want me to take you to see her?" Alex nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes before getting up off the couch with Bailey and heading towards the door.

The three of them took the elevator in silence up to the fifth floor. The closer they got to Meredith's room, the more anxious Alex became. When they finally reached Meredith's room, Alex stopped outside with window and just looked in at his friend, his person. There was a tube down her throat, her eyes were so swollen, her leg and arm were in a cast and bruises covered her whole body. Alex placed his hand on the wall to sturdy himself before entering the room. Jackson followed behind him and handed him her chart. Alex looked over the chart quickly and handed it back to Jackson. He couldn't bear to look at it any longer, not yet. He sat down next to Meredith's bed and took her hand in his. He stayed like that for hours. People would come and go, checking Meredith's vitals, but he stayed, never leaving her side. Fearing the second he left her, things would turn bad again.

He thought about going up to see the kids, but he wasn't ready to face them yet. He needed to stay with Meredith.

That night he slept right by Meredith's side. He constantly held her hand and laid his head on the edge of her bed while he slept. The continuous beeping of the monitors were calming to him. They kept his nerves in check because he knew as long as those monitors were beeping, Meredith was breathing and that was all that mattered to him. Hours had passed when he heard the door to Meredith's room creep open. When Alex looked up, his eyes met with Cristina's. Finally, he thought. He let go to Meredith's hand and got up from his chair and walked towards Cristina. The two stood there and just stared at each other before Cristina leaned in and embraced him in a hug. The two were never the hugging type, especially with each other, but right now, they both needed it.

He was so happy to see Cristina. He needed her now more than he ever had. While he was still fearful of losing Meredith, having Cristina here helped eased his fears. He felt stronger having her here. The two talked for a while and they both sat at Meredith's bedside. Neither would leave her. They were her family. They needed her now, more than ever, just as they needed her now more than ever. They needed her to pull through now more than ever.

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor bound - 57

Honor bound - 57 (anger born of worry) - @badthingshappenbingo​​

This is a series. Start here. Continued from here. 

Red X is for posted, white X is for requested. 

AO3

Cw: slavery, blood, gore, field medicine, nsfw

The girl carefully pored over the map Isaac had spread on the hood of the car. She followed the line of a highway with her finger from the city of Siding south until she reached a junction, then followed it east. Her finger stopped on a small town, Beringer. It was in one of the few areas of the region that the team avoided not because of the syndicates, but for the hotbed of violence that had sprung up as people fought for what was left.

Isaac’s eyes widened. “The hospital is in Beringer?” He looked at her, disbelieving.

She shrunk under his gaze, pressing her lips together. She looked down and seemed to brace for something. Maybe a slap. Isaac closed his eyes and blew out a slow breath.

“I’m sorry. I’m not angry at you. I just…it’s a rough area. We stand the chance of someone else getting shot.” Her eyes were fixed on the map. “Where in Beringer?”

She swallowed hard. “Um…f-fifth and Vassar.”

Isaac’s eyes went wider. “Jesus Christ. That’s disputed territory, last I heard.”

Her eyes were still cast down. She watched his hands out of her periphery. “I…I don’t know. I just know where it is.” She drew a shaking inhale. “I…I told you where it is…” She held her breath.

Isaac folded up the map. “Thank you. Let’s go.”

“You…you’re taking me with you?” Her eyes were wide in fear.

“Yeah. The whole point of the last few hours was getting you away from the syndicates and moving you up north. Get in the car.”

“But I…please…” She backed away from him, her hands held out in front of her in supplication.

He shot a glance at Finn, already in the car with the others in the very back seat. They were watching Isaac with desperation. They turned back to the girl, a placating hand held out to her. “We need to go. Ok? We need to leave right now.”

“But I…I thought…can’t you just leave me here, please…” Her chest heaved with panicked gasps. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” She fell to her knees, shielding her head with her hands as she began to sob.

Isaac watched her open-mouthed, his face pulled into an expression of horror.  He turned again to the car. His heart leaped in his chest as he watched Finn paw through their bag as they looked through supplies. He set his jaw and closed the distance between them.

As he grabbed her she immediately went limp in his hands. She forced down her sobs, whimpering softly as he carried her to the car. He roughly pushed her into the middle seat next to Ellis and jogged over to the driver’s seat. He turned on the car, slammed it into gear, and sped away from Tori’s house. Sam turned around in the front seat to look back at her as she curled into herself. Ellis watched her with an expression of vague distrust.

“How long do we have?” Finn’s voice shook as they prepped Gray’s arm for an IV.

Isaac blew out a slow breath. “The hospital’s in Beringer.”

“What?” Ellis’s voice was horrified.

Finn’s head snapped around to stare at Isaac for a moment. “That’s only an hour away!”

“I can make it forty-five minutes.” His jaw ached from clenching it. “Do they have forty-five minutes?”

Finn’s eyes darted across Gray’s body as they considered the question. “I…I ha-have no idea. But we have to try. Isaac, please! We have to try!”

“I’m going, Finn. We’re trying it, ok?” His knuckles were white on the steering wheel.

The girl was crying softly next to Ellis, pressing herself against the car door, making herself as small as possible. Sam watched her for a moment before they noticed Ellis glaring at them. They raised their eyebrows in a question as Ellis continued to stare them down. After a moment Sam pressed their lips together and turned their gaze back to the girl.

“Hey.” Their voice was soft. “Hey…what do we call you?” She whimpered. “It’s just a question. What’s your name?”

She sniffled. “What would you like to call me?” She kept her head tucked behind her arms.

“Um…your name?”

She swallowed hard. “Edrissa.”

“I’m Sam. And that’s -”

“Sam.” Isaac cut them off with a low voice.

They wilted for a moment. “Sorry.” The girl was still hiding behind her hands. “Why are you so scared?”

She peeked out from behind her hands, looking Sam over in distrust. “I…I just want to go home…” Tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Where’s home?”

She crumpled into fresh sobs. Sam was perplexed. “H-home is…it’s not…it’s not there anymore…he sold me…master sold me…”

Isaac threw a horrified glance into the rearview mirror. “Someone sold you? Is that how we got you? You were being sold?”

She quivered with shame. “You took me from my new master…I thought you were going to claim me but I…please, just let me go home…if you don’t want me then please just let me go home…” Her voice broke as she begged. Ellis was staring at her with revulsion.

Sam’s face was pulled into a mask of horror. “…claim you?”

With resignation, she pulled up her sleeve and held out her left arm. Just below the crook of her elbow on the inside of her forearm was the remnant of a tattoo. It had been seared away, and recently. The flesh was still raw and open.

Sam gasped. “What…and did you expect us to…to do that to you again? To…make you our…property?”

She raised her eyes to them, confused. “Why else did you take me?”

“To rescue you?”

She shook her head. “There is no ‘rescue.’ There is no ‘escape.’ They told me…”

“Newsflash. They were wrong, because here we are.” Ellis’s voice was coiled in hostility.

She clenched her jaw. “What are you going to do with me?”

“I already told you. We’re sending you north.” Isaac glanced at her in the mirror.

“North…?”

He sighed. “The syndicates aren’t everywhere. We have places that are safe. You can be free, if you want. Don’t you want that?”

She trembled. “I haven’t been…free in…” She fell silent as she tried to count. “What day is it?”

“December 30, 2029.”

She gasped. “T-two years. Oh…my god…” She started to cry. “Oh my god…”

“Is there someone you would go back to? Someone you can find?”

“M-my br-brother, Micah…but he’s…he’s probably dead, he t-tried to stop them from taking me…they shot him…I don’t know if he l-lived…”

“If he’s alive there are people who can help you find him.” Sam’s voice was tight.

“It doesn’t m-matter anyway…they’ll find me again…they h-have me chipped…”

Isaac’s head whipped around to look at her in horror. “Chipped? What does that mean?”

She pulled her sleeve higher to show part of her bicep. There was a faint grey mark on the skin there, covered by a small scar.

Isaac’s stomach plummeted. “Does that track your GPS location?”

Her forehead furrowed. “Well…yes, if someone wanted to look in my file they’d just pull it up…it pings my location every 12 hours…”

Ellis hurled themselves across the car to pin her against the door. She screamed, pushing weakly at their chest. “Isaac, give me your knife,” they growled.

Isaac’s hold on the wheel slipped slightly. “Ellis, just…hang on…give me a second.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Isaac,” they snarled. “She’s leading them right to us and I will be damned if these maniacs get their hands on us again for her.”

She whimpered and pushed harder against them. “No…please…” she begged.

“Isaac, give me your FUCKING KNIFE!” Their roar of rage was cut off as Finn passed their own knife over the seat and bumped it against Ellis’s shoulder.

They barely looked up from their work over Gray. “Do it.”

“No!” she shrieked. “No, please…please don’t kill me…”

“I’m not killing you,” Ellis growled. “I’m just making sure there’s no way they find us again.” They snapped the knife open and pressed it into her arm, just over the scar.

“No!” She sobbed raggedly. “No…please…if you take it out they’ll kill me…please…”

“That doesn’t fucking matter if you’re up north, does it?” Ellis pried the knife under the tiny chip and pulled it closer to the entrance of the cut. They pressed their fingers against the bloody wound and carefully removed the chip. It was barely the size of a pencil eraser. “Got it.” They held it against the window and carefully pressed the tip of the knife into the center. It shattered with a tiny tapping sound as the knife went through it and against the window behind it. They rolled down the window and tossed the shards out of the car as it sped along the interstate.

Edrissa was sobbing wretchedly. “No…you don’t understand, I’m marked…if I’m ever found without that chip in my arm…they’ll kill me…”

“They won’t ever find you,” Sam soothed. “We’re taking you somewhere where it’s safe.”

“They’ll always find me…you don’t know what they’re like, you don’t know…”

“We do, actually.” Isaac’s voice was dark. “We know exactly how they are.”

“Then you know they’ll find me…they won’t stop…”

“At the moment they have a little more to focus on then one stray…what do they even call you? Slave?” Ellis’s nose wrinkled.

“I’m not a slave.” She sounded offended.

“What, then?”

“It…it depends on who’s claimed you. For some it’s companions, there are pets, there are a lot of different things.”

“They’re keeping people as pets?” Sam’s voice rose.

She swallowed hard. “Yes. They’ve been doing it for a long time.”

“What did they call you?”

Tears formed in her eyes and she bit her lip. She shook her head once. Twice. “I…I can’t… Please don’t make me say it…”

“You don’t have to.” Isaac was doing his best to keep himself calm. “You’re alright.”

“Fuck.”

Everyone turned to look at Finn in the back seat, working over Gray. “What?” Isaac’s voice shook.

“I’m out of 10 gauges. And they need another.”

“10 gauge…what?”

Finn licked their lips. “Needles.”

Sam quailed. “You’ve been putting needles in their chest?”

“They need them.” Finn forced the words out between their teeth. “And now they need more. I can’t keep that fucking lung moving. What they need is a…”

Ellis’s eyes were wide. “A what?”

“A chest tube. But I’ve never done one before. Not by myself. And not in a moving car.”

Ellis leaned over the seat, reaching for them helplessly. “What do you need, Finn?” Their voice was ragged.

“I…um…I mean, I have an ET tube, and a scalpel, I have all the stuff I need I just…never…thought…”

Ellis put a shaking hand on Finn’s shoulder. “You can do it,” they whispered. “What do you need?”

Finn swallowed hard. “I need you to hold them when I’m ready. Let me get what I need first.” They crawled over the back of the seat into the trunk to get their airway kit. They grabbed a pair of needlenose pliers from the tool kit and crawled back over the seat. “Gray?”

They were pale, bleeding slowly into the seat below them. Their eyes were half-open and faded from shock. They moaned softly.

“Well, that’s a better reaction than it could be. Gray, I…I need to put a tube in your chest. It’s going to hurt. But…we’ll be at the hospital soon…they can help you…”

Gray whimpered softly. Their hand searched for Finn’s. Finn took it in theirs and squeezed. Gray’s eyes fluttered closed and they wilted back onto the seat.

“Ellis…can you help me?”

Ellis stretched their body almost all the way across the seat. “Of course. What do you need?”

Finn stretched Gray’s right arm over their head. “I need you to hold them like this. Ok? Don’t let them move. I have a scalpel and I don’t want them to bump me.”

Ellis’s hands wrapped shakingly around Gray’s wrists. “Ok. Tell me if you need more.”

Finn squeezed themselves between the seats, huddling on the floor of the car. They took the scalpel in a hand stained with blood. They felt along Gray’s ribs, marking the place with their finger. They drew in a deep breath and made the first cut.

Gray flinched, drawing in a hissing breath through their teeth. As Finn made the next cut their mouth fell open into a scream. They pulled weakly against Ellis’s hands, writhing mindlessly away from the pain.

“I know, I know…I’m sorry…” Finn bit their lip. Tears streamed down Ellis’s face. Finn put the scalpel away and eased their finger into the cut they’d made.

Ellis swallowed hard. “Now what?”

Finn steeled themselves with a slow, deep breath. “Now I use the pliers to get through the muscle.”

“…what?” The word dropped from Ellis’s lips like a gasp.

Finn set their jaw. “Hold them.” They pushed the closed pliers into the wound and began to twist.

The sound that Gray made tore through the car and made everyone shudder. Edrissa pressed her hands over her ears and trembled, cowering against the door. Sam began to sob quietly. Isaac’s hands gripped the wheel so hard his fingers began to ache.

Finn scissored the pliers open, forcing the fibers of the muscle apart, boring a hole through Gray’s chest. Over and over they dug the pliers in, forced them open, and pulled them out. Gray convulsed away from the pain as Ellis strained to hold them still.

“P-please…” they murmured. “Please stop…please…”

Finn’s eyes burned. They blinked quickly to clear the tears. “I have to, Gray, I have to…I’m sorry…”

“N-no please…” Gray babbled almost incoherently. “No no nonono…”

With a terrible sucking sound, Finn breached Gray’s chest wall. They worked the pliers into the tunnel between the lung and the outside and forced them open one more time, pulling the hole wide enough to fit the tube. They slowly guided it between the nose of the pliers. As it passed through, they pulled the pliers out. The flesh and muscle closed around the tube, sealing it. Finn let out a huge breath.

“Ok. Now I need to tape it in place and get a one-way valve going.”

“Where are you gonna find a one-way valve?” Ellis’s voice was high, panicked. Shaken. They looked pale.

“I don’t know. I don’t know, ok? But I’ll figure it out.” Finn’s voice was dark and low with intensity.

Isaac’s voice was tense. “How much time did you just buy them? Enough to make it another 30 minutes?”

“They have to make it another thirty minutes,” Finn almost sobbed. Blood ran from their hands, down their wrists, onto the slowly growing puddle on the floor of the car. A spatter of blood marred the right side of their face. Their breath caught in their throat. “They have to make it.”

Continued here

@untilthepainstarts​​​​, @womping-grounds​​​​, @blue-flare10​​​​, @free-2bmee​​​​​, @quirkykayleetam​​​​​, @walkingchemicalfire​​​​​, @inpainandsuffering​​​​​, @redwingedwhump​​​​​, @burtlederp​​​​​, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog​​​​​, @insomniacscoprio​​​​​, @whumpy101, @whumpywhumper​​, @stxck-fxck​, @omega-em-z-02​

[prabbling-blog]

Just Say It (Bill Skarsgard x Reader)

requested: Hi! Could you please do a Bill Skarsgard X Reader imagine? So (Y/N) played Roman’s (Bill’s character) best friend / crush in Hemlock Grove and after the show ends, they see each other in IT premiere because (Y/N) is accompanying her brother Jackson (Who plays Georgie). Just fluff and Bill and (Y/N) are in love but they don’t know and Jackson spills that they like each other. Thanks! Your works are amazing!

Word Count: 1576

Warnings: some mature language ?

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting, this is such a good idea!

There’s something scarily intoxicating about the acting industry. It’s like a siren beautifully singing to lure you closer and closer to the cliffs, waiting for a fatal collision. Yet (to her family’s dismay) it had affected Y/N - and now her little brother, Jackson. Their father had been a lawyer and their mother a teacher; both reliable jobs meant to procure a salary and stability. They had tried so hard to instill the idea of the American Dream and all that nonsense into their children.

Self-destruction must skip a generation, Y/N supposed.

Y/N had spent most of her acting career twiddling her thumbs as she waited for auditions and call backs that never came. She did her best to present everything good and unique about herself on resumes, but (nine times out of ten) not even that was good enough. It was disappointing to say the least and depressing to say the most. Initially, she didn’t want Jackson to pursue acting either. All the experiences he’d miss, like all the experiences she missed, could never be replaced. All the self deprecation and angst and the thoughts of ‘I’m not good enough’ - how in God’s name could she wish that upon her baby brother? But, as she sat in the backseat of a white limo, little Jackson sitting across from her, she acknowledged how wrong she had been. He was wearing such an expensive tuxedo, yet he was still pressing his nose to the window’s glass and making patterns with the fog. He wasn’t missing experiences - he was making them. Like a kid should.

It was her mother who first brought it all to light one evening over dinner, It wasn’t all bad, she had said after shoveling runny mashed potatoes onto her plate. And that was true; Y/N had played Odette Polinsky on Hemlock Grove. She was barely eighteen when she got the role and, though job single-handedly saved her career, yet it wasn’t even a completely positive memory.

Y/N was the youngest cast member on Hemlock Grove, and was completely (and pathetically) infatuated with a boy who saw her as nothing more as a friend. She had to witness the endless stream of girls come and go, as he conquered them and moved on.

“Did you talk to Ellie?” He whispered in Y/N’s ear during the show’s second season. He was leaning on his chair, with his elbow propping up his chin as he smiled boyishly. She tried to ignore the tingles as they ran down her spine, swallowing thickly. Ellie was his latest prize and she was constantly prancing around set in tube tops and denim short shorts. He followed her like a moth to a flame.

“Ya, I - I did. She really - likes you.” She managed to splutter out. Sometimes, when she was concentrating and focused, she could pretend conversations with him where just a scene. Their interactions all had a script, she would tell herself, therefore there’s no reason to panic. But this was not one of those days.

“Mmhmm,” he hummed as he scratched his chin with his thumb and index finger. He cocked his eyebrow at her and smiled, his lips slightly parted. He was so close to her, that she could smell his cologne - oranges and mint. Y/N had to stop herself from closing her eyes and leaning in.

“Well, catch you later Oddi!” He said quickly, as he briskly stood up from his chair and cracked his knuckles.

“See you Roman.” She replied quietly to herself.

Said boy just so happens to star alongside Jackson. She wondered if he still smelt the same like oranges and mint, maybe he even was -

Y/N shook her head, her curls bouncing around her shoulders. She couldn’t think about him today, today was Jackson’s day. Besides he had every other damn day to consume her thoughts. She would avoid him and that was that.

“Y/N! Y/N! Look! Look!” Jackson was pointing as he stared at all the flashing cameras and interviewers with microphones stood at the ready. His eyes lit up as he spoke and he smiled that dimpled smile of pure joy. Make those experiences, Jackson, thought Y/N as she smiled and stared with him. Soon enough they were parked and helped out of a limo by a wide shouldered man who fistbumped Jackson. Y/N smoothed out her silver dress (hoping to God, there were no wrinkles) and touched the earrings on her ears (those bad boys cost as much as a mortgage).

The boy bounded outside of the limo and was immediately bombarded by interviewers and questions (“How was working with older actors?” “We’re you scared?” “Are you going to see the movie?”).

Y/N stifled a laugh as she caught up to Jackson, making sure to look more confident than she really was in her black pumps. She subtly pointed in attempts to direct his attention to an interview who looked kind enough. Immediately the young boy caught on, at seven years old he was more aware of social cues then Y/N. Y/N went off to stand next to her parents, making sure to stay in direct earshot.

“Hello!” Jackson exclaimed happily, interlocking his fingers and letting his arms go slack. He looked so professional and gentlemanly, Y/N could’ve sang.

“Hello there Jackson! It’s so great to talk to you!” The interview knelt a bit, getting down to his level. She was tilting the microphone towards his mouth as she smiled genuinely.

“And you!”

“Thank you very much! Anyway, so both you and your sister have both worked with Bill Skarsgard right?”

Oh boy here it is.

“Yep!” Jackson said just as happily.

“How did you like it?!”

“Well, his costume is kinda scary but I saw him - em - get ready and stuff so - so it wasn’t too bad. I mean, eating me was kinda scary but not too too bad. He’s actually really nice and a really good actor and he told me a lot of stories about my sister and a lot of them were really funny but some of them weren’t really funny.” Jackson rambled, his tongue was officially detached from his brain. Now it wagged along in his jaw.

“What were the not so funny stories?” The interviewer asked puzzled, as she tried to reposition herself so the microphone was right underneath Jackson.

C’mon kid. I love ya. I care for ya. I support ya in all aspects of life. But if you say some of those not so funny stories, you better hope to God you - Y/N’s mind was in complete freefall, every secret fantasy, dream, and hope was currently abandoning ship.

Jackson, giddy as ever, had no problem wagging his tongue some more. He took a deep breath of air before saying, “Well, he told me about how sometimes on the show he would try to - um - get her attention and it never really worked and she never liked him. He told me that she thought he was, well, I dunno what it means so it could be a bad word … ”

“Go on, I’ll make sure it isn’t a bad word.” The interviewer egged on. Y/N was starting to like this woman less and less.

“He said that she thought he was a player.” The interviewer just laughed and assured him that ‘player’ was not in fact a bad word before asking him other questions about the movie.

Y/N looked around her as if to say, Did anyone else just hear that? Her jaw was now completely slack as she hung it open stupidly. Her shoulders unstraightened, her back slouched, and she had to check to make sure that the earrings were still hanging from her ears.

“Did you hear that?” A familiar voice asked in her ear as tingles shot down her spine. Y/N looked up at the tall god that was Bill Skarsgard and nodded fiercely, as she felt her forehead with the back of her hand. Was she ill? Because now she was feeling a bit feverish in this dress.

“Did you really?” He asked again, looking down at his shoes and smirking, his lips just parted. She just nodded again. “Well, I suppose the truth is out there.” His slight accent on the word ‘there' caused Y/N to smile widely.

“I never thought you were a player. I thought you were …  popular.” Y/N finally said, breaking the tension. Bill tipped his head back, his hands in the pockets of his tailored trousers, and gave the heartiest laugh. The breeze caught his hair and Y/N could smell oranges and mint on the wind.

Once he had stopped laughing, all Y/N could think was just say it, just say it.

“I - uh - I well I was trying as much as - I - well wanted your attention too.” Y/N finally spoke out, raising her voice to make sure he heard it too. “Wow - I always thought you didn’t like me and I want you to kno-”

“HEY CAN WE GET A PHOTO OF YOU GUYS?!” A photographer interjected the sweet moment much to Y/N’s dismay. But Bill snaked his hand on her waist and softly pulled her into him, so she was pressed into his long torso. She smiled at the small gesture, looking down at his hand as she felt him smile down on her.

[lomaaltakid]

The time I fell in love with London - Day 1

And yes, you might be wondering, I AM talking about the city. I took a trip out to Europe in April and out of all the places I visited (including Amsterdam, Brussels and Paris) I ended up falling in love with London the most. I’ve been interested in London from many years of loving all things English: The BBC, Top Gear, The Queen, Ellie Goulding... I could go on. My flight on Virgin Atlantic out of LA to London didn’t seem out of the ordinary. It was planned out. I had my AirBnB booked as well so that was all settled... Everything else though was not. I remember looking out the window when the plane was on it’s final descent to Heathrow and seeing the traditional English styled homes and the cars driving on the left from above just like I had seen on TV and on the Internet... it didn’t seem real. Not even when we left the plane and went through customs. I was still nervous that for some unthinkable reason I was not allowed entry into the U.K., but nothing happened. I was hot, tired and sweaty in a city that was rather chilly but that didn’t seem to matter. I picked up my bag and made my way down to the trains. Being that I was running on no sleep and full of sweat from sitting on a ten hour flight I made no hesitation to buy a Heathrow Express train ticket to Paddington station. Once I arrived 15 minutes later though, I would get off to a chilly, wet and humid afternoon. People walking past in English accents trying to get to their own destinations, medieval architecture and the smell of rain in the air.  Holy shit. I was in London. My first experience with the London Underground was a fun one. I couldn’t read a tube map for the life of me and my fears of being in a city I’ve never been to before with my whole life basically with me were setting in. But then I remembered I wasn’t in Mexico City and that once I dropped everything off at my AirBnB I could breathe for a minute. So I went ahead, bought my Oyster card and boarded that District line train to the East End. Much to my chagrin, I got off at the wrong station, carried a heavy suitcase up what seemed to be ten flights of stairs only to go back down again and re-board an Eastbound District line train. From there I had to change to a DLR train at Bank, the busiest tube station in all of London. Boy can Londoners walk fast. I tried to keep up to make myself blend in as a local but failed at that. I didn’t fail at remembering that you stand at the right of the escalator and advance on the left. Once I boarded the DLR train, I got to see London from above ground until my stop arrived. Shadwell. I got off the train and looked back at the London skyline through the mist and low clouds, and it had just started to rain again. Temps must have been in the 40′s (Fahrenheit) because I was getting stressed out that my phone had little signal and I couldn’t find my AirBnB. Eventually through a bit of patience and a stroke of luck, I found my host waiting for me on the balcony and he helped me with my luggage up the stairs. We chatted for a bit and he made sure I was settled. I laid there on the bed exhausted from rushing across town to get to my AirBnB but that adventure was over and the real adventure was just beginning.  My dream had come true. I was finally in London. 

[talesfromthesnogbox]

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Summary: Jim Hopper knew it was a real emergency when he was woken in the night by a phone call from his son-in-law Mike from the hospital. All was not well, but Jim reminds Mike that sometimes it's okay to not be okay.

Notes: So I don't know why I hurt myself with these awful headcannons. I also don't know why I torture myself with writing when I 100% have no time to write so it was written at 1am :)

I have zero experience with any of this by the way, sick children and hospitals are foreign ground.

Please don't hate me for this? Sorry it ended up being so long?

“Joyce… Joyce… Joycie.” Jim shook his tiny wife awake.

She was angry, being woken in the middle of the night when he knew fully well that she had to work the next morning until she saw his face, filled with fear and worry. Her anger softened, as she looked up at him with concern in her sleepy eyes.

“The kids.”

If there was anything that could get Joyce out of bed in the dead of the night, it would be one of her children in danger. That included her’s and Hop’s adoptive daughter, El and her young family.

As a young teenager, the girl had been more than supportive of Jim and Joyce’s relationship, and of course, Joyce became the mother El never had. Joyce became Jim’s blessing in disguise, helping him navigate through raising a teenage girl on his own. El was the catalyst to their relationship, and in many ways, they were the perfect fit. They balanced each other out, showed each other reason, especially when El started dating that Wheeler kid.

“She’s too young.” Hop would lament, confiding in Joyce while their daughter sulked in her room. “She’s acting she’s gonna marry the guy. They’re fifteen, there’s no reason for all the… all the handsy stuff on my couch. He needs to respect that this is not his house and they’re way too young for all that… that…”

“Oh okay Hop, and how old were you when you were caught with a hand up someone’s daughter’s shirt?” Joyce fondly remembers giving him a look that turned him red. It was different when it was his kid. He was right, they were young, and he argued he was only looking out for his daughter, especially considering her naïve upbringing, but in hindsight, he was a little harsh on them. Especially considering they did end up married after all.

Which brought him to the present.

The Wheelers liked their sleep. The young couple was twenty-seven going on ninety with the way they turned in promptly at 11:00pm and stayed in bed as long as they could the next day. Their one and a half year old daughter Emily was probably part of the reason why they valued their sleep so much, but even the bouncing baby slept like a rock. So when Jim got a call from Mike at nearly three in the morning, he knew something was wrong.

When Jim and Joyce burst into the hospital waiting room, they instantly spotted their son-in-law.

Mike Wheeler was no longer the lanky teenager he used to be. The boy had grown to be nearly taller than Hop, and was just as hard headed. The two of them didn’t always see eye to eye, especially when it came to El and her wellbeing, but there was no arguing that the man would always be there for his daughter and her husband.

Mike did not look good. Puffy eyes, tearstained cheeks… he was beside himself with emotion. Joyce ran to him, enveloping the man she’d known since he was waist high in a comforting hug only a mom could provide. He was unembarrassed as he let the tears fall down his pale cheeks, and Joyce looked to Jim as he placed a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“How is she?” Jim asked in a quiet voice.

“I… I don’t know. They won’t say anything. Dr. Owens has a team here… they’re with her now but… but it doesn’t look good.”

Jim dropped his chin, looking to the ground willing his tears not to fall. He sniffed loudly, rubbing his eyes to play off the redness as allergies when her heard a small, tear-filled voice. “Daddy?”

Hop looked up to see his daughter, the strongest woman he’d ever known, completely break down.

“Ellie, come here.” He said, hugging her close to his chest and letting her tears fall. It was tough when she was thirteen, but it was somehow tougher to watch her cry at twenty-seven. It was even tougher still knowing exactly how she felt.

“I’m going to grab some coffees.” Mike told Jim three hours later. The four of them waited in the uncomfortable seats hearing nothing about the one and a half year old’s condition, and Mike needed a walk.

“I’m coming with you.” Jim replied. He’d gotten a brief rundown once everyone had calmed down. Something happened at home with Emily… something bad, but Jim had yet to get any details.

The little girl was special. Mike remembered feeling a burst of pride and a burst of fear when he’d caught the girl levitating some of her toys in front of her at just six months old. Sure, it was adorable, but he had no idea how dangerous it could become.

Jim and Mike walked in silence towards the cafeteria filled mostly with off-duty hospital personnel grabbing breakfast and a quick dose of caffeine before a long day’s work.

“So what exactly happened?” Hop asked unabashedly.

Mike sighed and ran his hand through his mess of curly hair. “Em woke us up around one this morning crying. El thought maybe she was hungry so we tried feeding her, we tried changing her diaper, rocking her. We tried everything but she just kept crying louder and louder until she was screaming. At one point, we thought she was going to pass out, she was screaming so much.” Hop could hear the tears in his voice, threatening to spill over once again. “Poor El, she’s such a good mom. She just kept bouncing her and rocking her… making funny faces to try to get her to crack a smile and stop screaming. I started getting annoyed. God knows why I tried to reason with an 18 month old, but then everything was floating, and her screams just got louder, blood started pouring from her nose, her ears, her eyes. Oh my god Hop it was horrifying, and then it all stopped. The screaming, the floating…” Hop could hear an edge to his voice. “Em just went limp in Ellie’s arms.”

Hop heard the edge in Mike’s voice, blood rushing from his face in fear for his granddaughter.

“I thought she’d just tired herself out at first, fallen asleep, but she wasn’t responding to anything, wasn’t breathing. Hop it scared me shitless… my little girl… we rushed her in, the team hooked her up, so many wires and tubes, then they took us outside, said we couldn’t be with her, that it didn’t look good. That’s the last we’ve heard.” Mike let out a sob and Jim gathered his son-in-law into his arms as he cried.

It was all too familiar. The sudden panic, rushing to the hospital, all those tubes and wires… it all brought him back to Sara. He knew exactly what Mike was feeling, and he knew how awful it was.

“Look, kid… the next few hours are going to be the toughest hours of your life.” His voice shook, but he tried to stay strong for the young man beside him. “I have faith in those people, they’ll bring her out of it, they’ll get her through and you and Ellie will be holding Em shortly.”

“But…” Hop dreaded the question he knew was coming, because he knew the possibility was totally valid. “But what if she doesn’t?”

“Kid, you can’t think like that.”

“Did you think like that?”

Jim sighed, knowing fully well he did. But that was different. Cancer… he had some time with her before she… Sara’s illness came quickly, but it was nothing like what Mike and El were going through now. He had some time to prepare himself, talked to doctors about what to expect, and in hindsight, he was thankful for that time.

“I did.” Jim admitted. “It’s hard not to when you’re in this situation.”

“I just… I don’t even know what to do right now. Ellie, she’s been quiet all night. I know she thinks it’s her fault that Emily has these powers. I don’t know how to comfort her knowing that maybe Em won’t be okay.”

The conversation felt all too familiar. The only difference was that Hop didn’t have anyone to talk to about it when he was in that exact situation. If he had, maybe his life would be different; maybe he wouldn’t have pushed Diane away and came back to Hawkins.

“I’m going to let you in on a little bit of wisdom from one man to another, and I hope you’ll take this not from El’s dad, but from a man who’s been where you’re sitting.” He started. “Every day… every single day of my life, I feel terrible for how I treated Diane.”

The younger man looked up at his father-in-law with a furrowed brow.

“Pain will make you do dumb things, kid. You’ll make an ass of yourself, say a lot that you regret, but you can’t let it get to you. No matter what happens, you need El, and she needs you. It’s going to be hard, trust me, it’ll be the hardest thing you’ll go through together, but you can’t push her away. Don’t be like me.”

Mike looked straight ahead and fiddled with his wedding band, letting his tears flow down his cheeks.

“I never wanted to admit this to you because you were always such a smug little bastard as a teenager, but you’re really good for her Mike. You’ve got a good heart, and I know you want to be there for Ellie. It’s okay to not know how to make her feel better, and it’s okay to be angry and upset. Just know that she’s feeling all these things too. Let her in, don’t try to work it all out on your own and don’t pretend to be strong… it’s okay to not have all the answers and break down every once and a while.” Hop swallowed the lump in his throat. “She’s your wife and she loves you. She made a vow to you, for better or for worse, and I know my Ellie, she’ll stick to it.”

Mike choked out a sob and leaned into the former police chief. “I love her so much, I just hate seeing her in pain.”

“I know, kid, I know.”

The younger man wiped his eyes and rose to his feet, heart pounding in his chest. “I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have just left her up there.”

“You’re not. Go back to her, I’ll grab us all a little something.”

He turned to walk around. “Hey chief?” Jim regarded him with raised eyebrows. “Thanks for this.”

“No problem Mike. Now go see your wife.”

--

Just as he suspected, Jim returned to the waiting room to find El huddled close to Mike on those uncomfortable chairs, his fingers running through her dark locks as he hummed to her. Kid was a fast learner.

“Is she okay?” He asked Joyce, handing her a cup of coffee.

“She’s terrified for her baby girl. And Mike?”

“Same.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler?” Mike gently shook El, and everyone anxiously rose to their feet. The doctor’s face was unreadable, but hope bubbled in Jim’s heart for his granddaughter.

“Come with me, you can see her now.” El let out a breath and took Mike’s hand. She looked back at Jim and Joyce before disappearing through the doors to see their daughter.

[zoebechtle-blog]

Unlikely Chapter 12

“You know what my favorite thing about your face is?” Random thoughts from Zoe. Niall turned his eyes from the football match on the TV (against my own will, he had turned me into a Derby Rams fan). It was late on a Saturday night. Willie and Hannah were out of town and Deo had been relocated for the weekend. We hadn’t seen much of one another over the last week - he was finishing things for his upcoming charity golf tournament and gala, and sliding into the studio to write as often as he could. He claimed he'd had a stroke of inspiration lately and wanted to get back to making music. I was busy finishing up work on a big research project with a few other therapists, and hadn’t been home before 9:00 anytime recently. As of next week, his schedule was the most insane thing I’ve ever seen for an unemployed musician (as I liked to remind him): golf tournaments, fundraisers, charity games, concerts and festivals, and an extended trip to the U.S. to write and record more. Therefore, we had sequestered ourselves in his house and were having a grownup sleepover. Last night I’d insisted we make a fort out of cushions to eat pizza in - once I’d convinced him it was an amazing idea, he’d gone in with full gusto, choosing blankets that were sturdy. He fancied himself a fort engineer by the end, and was a little pissed when we knocked it down after the dinner during more active pursuits that resulted in an impressive patch of rug burn on my back. We took a long bath, with bubbles that I’d smuggled in, and I’d dozed off with my back resting on his chest, at ease with pretty much everything. He turned on some late 90s dance music this afternoon and we danced around like idiots, then tried (unsuccessfully) doing the tango (I have two left feet). I was trying to convince him to let me braid his hair, but he wasn’t there yet. It’d been the best 30 hours ever, and I was kind of buzzed off my love of him. Well, and the bottle of wine I’d been sipping on.

“What’s that, baby?” He took a long drink of his beer and I watched him swallow, enthralled. “Z?”

“Huh?”

He started laughing. “You have the attention span of a mouse. What’s your favorite thing about my face?”

“Oh yeah!” I was sitting on his left side on the ginormous sectional sofa in his living room, my feet across his lap. I scooted my butt closer until I was almost sitting on him, and turned his chin so he was facing forward and I had a perfect profile shot. “This. This is my favorite.”

“You’re poking my cheek!”

“No! I’m poking your eye dimple. It’s the cutest thing ever.”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about - don’t have a dimple on my eye.”

“Right under, not ON your eye.” I rolled my eyes for emphasis. “Here.” I grabbed my phone from behind me and pulled up a picture of him I’d taken that morning. He was sitting on his countertop in his tightie whities, laughing at my impressions of various Food Network chefs while I made French toast. He looked so utterly perfect, laughing so hard he ended up getting the hiccups when I discussed Wonder Bread and Egg Beaters as Sandra Lee, his hair falling over his brow and fingers grasping the overhang of the counter. Who knew the members of One Direction loved cooking shows? I’d promptly walked over the kissed the living hell out of him after I snapped the pic. Such opportunities could not be wasted. “See? It’s a little dimple and it only shows when you’re genuinely smiling. Everytime I see it I want to buy a house and retire there because it’s the most perfect place on Earth.” Okay, maybe I’d had closer to a bottle and a half of wine. He looked at me with wide, adoring eyes, and caught my lips with his own.

“Know what my favorite part of your face is?”

“I’m guessing my lips because, blah blah, sucking you off,” I gave him a cheeky grin, expecting the usual male answer.

“You underestimate me, Zoe,” he replied, wrinkling his forehead and pushing his pretty lips out into a tiny pout. He actually looked a little hurt.

“I’m sorry, boo.” I traced his chin dimple with my thumb, pacifying him. “What’s your favorite part?”

He kissed my brow bone. “This. Can tell everythin’ you’re thinkin’ by your forehead and brows. You can’t hide a thing. Explains why you can’t play poker for shit.”

“I’m not THAT bad.”

“Babe, Nick took forty quid off you in one hand.”

“He cheats.”

“Sure he does.” He’d pulled me back against the cushions with him and I cuddled up to his side. “Love you. Bad poker face and all. Best thing that ever happened to me.”

I felt my emotions bubble up as they always did when he said something like this. “Love you more.”

“Impossible.”

“So possible.”

“Nope.”

“Shut up, shamrock.” In order to ensure his silence, I climbed over his lap and kissed him stupid. He upped the ante by slipping my t-shirt over my head, and I won by pushing his shorts down and sliding down on his cock.

His stylist, Ellie, and her favorite tailor showed up Sunday early afternoon to fit Niall for his fundraiser suit one last time. He was leaving soon for a golf tournament in Northern Ireland so all final preps needed to be now. I adored Ellie-she’d helped me find a dress (not even a dress, a fabulous creation of nature that was the most perfect item of clothing I’d ever had on my body) for the upcoming Horan Rose event. And to Niall’s chagrin, I’d paid for it myself despite his requests otherwise and whines to the stylist. I would be there not only in girlfriend capacity, but also representing the clinic and its autism research efforts. Luckily, my boss was coming as well, as Niall’s guest, so he could field all the tricky questions. An administrator I am not. When I’d shown Hannah pictures of the miracle dress, she’d been shocked.

“It’s pink.”

“‘tis.”

“You don’t wear pink. Ever.”

“I like pink!”

“I know, but 90% of your wardrobe is black! And it’s light pink at that!”

“Because pastels make me look dead. But this looks good.” I showed her the next pic in the roll of me modeling for Ellie.

“Holy shit.”

“Right?”

Hannah sat back, obviously proud of herself, “Love looks good on you, Zoe Jane.”

I threw a shoe at her, intentionally missing. She wasn’t wrong.

I laid on the bed while Niall pranced around in his underwear. His good mood was infectious, and Sam the tailor was having none of it.  The older gentleman who had twice whacked him on the back of the thigh for screwing around. He’d earned my adoration quickly.

“Zoe, will you look at these ties?” Ellie had plopped down next to me, holding up a large box. “I can’t decide which one.”

“Lord, she’ll put me in a bow tie, don’t let her choose, El!” I stuck my tongue out at Niall as I sorted. Damnit. He was right. I loved bow ties. They looked dapper.

“How about this one?” I held up a navy one for Ellie’s inspection.

“The peaches? You think?”

“Yup. In honor of his little peach bum.” He shook said bum at us, earning another smack from Sam. Too cute for words.

I was nervous about the fundraiser. Besides it being my first official event as Niall’s date, I was also going to meet the whole Horan clan - he was flying a boatload of people over from Ireland for the party. In negotiations with him and Kim, I’d gotten out arriving with him and doing the red carpet thing (the mere idea gave me hives). He wasn’t aware that I wasn’t going to be “arriving” at all - at my request, Kim was going to arrange for me to come in the back door of the facility. I knew I’d be photographed at some point or another, but I wanted to avoid it as much as possible. I agreed that I’d sit at his table and be on his arm instead of eating with Willie and Hannah nearby or my boss and his wife in the back of the room. He knew I was terrified of the attention, and tried to talk me down as much as possible.

“I know it’s a lot, babe.” We were FaceTiming as he got ready to head off to a rugby match with Rory.

“No, it’s fine. I just don’t want people paying attention to something that isn’t a the reason for the night,” I tried to explain. I started playing with my bracelet, twirling it around my fingers.

“Put the bracelet down, ya liar.”

“What?”

“Get on me about my nervous hands, and ya do the same damn thing.” He pulled his shirt over his head. “Kate is next to Justin, so why wouldn’t ya be with me?”

“Um, because she’s his wife.”

“Is that all it takes then?  Ok? Wanna get married? Let’s go.” Wha? I knew my mouth was gaping.

“No! I mean...no, shut up.”

He knew he had me and smirked. “Just gotta say the word.”

I rolled my eyes. “They’ve known one another more than three months. They weren’t outed on the The Daily News and Sun out partying. Twice. The fangirls of the world don’t hate Kate. I don’t want to cause problems for you.”

“Z, are ya ever gonna realize that I don’t give a fuck? Yeah, I try to keep as much of me life private as I can, but I’m not going to hide ya. Ever. And I’ll protect you.” By this point he was pointing his finger at his laptop in a rant.

“God you’re a pain in the ass.”

“Likewise, pretty girl. I gotta go, car is here. Love you.”

“I love you, too, Nialler.”

Niall got home late Thursday night, and the Irish contingent starting arriving by the planeload Friday afternoon. I’d stayed late at work to get ahead since I’d be off Monday and Tuesday for the golf tournament and the inevitable aftermath-I’d been training my liver for this weekend since I was sixteen. After work I’d planned on going home, leaving Niall to his own devices with his guests. But in true Niall fashion he had his dad text me that he expected to see me when he landed. The little bastard had pulled out the Bobby Horan card.   When I finally left, a black Range Rover beeped at me from the curb and Basil waved.  I let out a sigh and muttered to myself.  “So much for taking the tube like a normal goddamn human being.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Picking you up, obviously.”

“He really doesn’t know how to take no for answer, does he?” I buckled into the passenger seat as Bas tossed my bag in the back.

I wasn’t one hundred percent on board with this uncomfortable hour drive and silently shook my fist at my boyfriend. I was still trying to figure out where I stood with Bas. While I was sure he didn’t hate me, my relationship with Niall and what it meant for his security (and heart) were still unknown. We both routinely got some nastygrams, and lately he’d been getting his phone hacked on the regular and spammed by little shits. I was anxious and had skipped lunch today because my stomach was going nuts with nerves. I was facing an entire long weekend filled with people who loved Niall and were going to be watching me. I didn’t work well under pressure. So I filled the car with awkward conversation until Bas’s eyes basically begged me to shut up. Rightfully silently chastised, I leaned my seat back and closed my eyes until we arrived home (shit, did I just refer to Niall’s house as home?). I didn’t even get my buckle undone when the door was opened.

“Ni, Jes-,” Oh. This was not my blonde bombshell. The older man with rosy cheeks beamed at me.

“Zoe! Aw, love, it’s a pleasure!” The legend himself, Bobby Horan, pulled me out of the car and into a gigantic bear hug. Unlike when I met Harry, however, I didn’t mind. I may have squealed a little bit.

“Back off, old man!” Niall elbowed his dad. “I haven’t seen my girl all week.”

“Whose fault is that, youngster?” Bobby gave me a grin, and I squeezed him again.

My quick confidence shot from Bobby quickly diminished when I walked into a house full of strangers. I knew it was coming but still was not prepared. Before I could blink, I’d met Eoghan, Bressie (hello...I was never going to be able to make eye contact with him), Bobby’s girlfriend Aoife, another Niall, and various other guys whose names I was going to spend the whole weekend trying to remember. I was passed from person to person - the Irish were huggers. Sensing my discomfort, Deo slid a Jameson in my hand. I mouthed a thank you to him and downed it only to have it replaced by a beer. After being appropriately introduced, I excused myself to go to the bedroom and change. And have a minor panic attack in the bathroom.

“Babe?” Shit, I’d been gone for almost half an hour.

“In here.”

“Decent?”

“Totally depends on your definition. But no, I’m not pooping.”

His head poked through the door, giving me a look. “Hiding, huh?”

It was useless, he’d figured out my M.O. “There are just so many of them. And they all love you. If you haven’t noticed, I tend to make an ass out of myself when I’m nervous.”

“I know. Still waiting for those strokes you promised me.”

“I hate you.”

“C’mere.” He pulled me up to him, wrapping his arms around my middle. “I missed ya. Didn’t even get a proper kiss. My da’ cock blocked me.”

“I’m assuming not for the first time.”

“You have no idea.” He’d finally worked a smile out of me and gave me a warm, gentle kiss that I felt down to my toes. The beer he’d been enjoying was obvious, but there was a slight mint to his taste as always. “Missed you, pretty girl.”

“I missed you, too.” I rested my head on his collarbone as an someone beat on the window in the closet, causing us to both jump a foot.

“Quit molesting the lady, Horan, and get your ass out here!”

“Fuck you, Eoghan!” he shouted back. “Hey,” he whispered, pulling my attention up to him. “Everyone out there is so excited to get to know you. You’re all I’ve talked about for months. Babe, they love you already. I promise.”

The Irish could party, let the record reflect. Aoife, Hannah, and I ventured out late Sunday morning for manicures and to get last minute supplies, including buy a new tie for Eoghan, who had insisted his could double as a headband the night before, requiring me to cut him out of it. None of Niall’s ties matched the intricate pattern of his suit, he claimed (Niall was positive he just wanted me to feel the fabric) and I’d been tasked. Once I’d gotten over my initial shyness, I realized why every one of these people were special to Ni. It made me feel even closer to him, and pondered introducing him to my family eventually (then promptly took a shot to chase that crazy idea away). The only stone left unturned was Maura. She and her husband were meeting us at the event. Willie and Deo privately had told me that she’d guilted Niall into the invitation - something she routinely did when there was something she was interested in. In the time we’d known one another I had never witnessed her interacting with him in any way. I had developed an attitude about her, and he was aware of it. I didn’t know Niall as a small child, but the idea of willingly leaving him was foreign to me. I didn’t know her side of the story, it was true. But even how she treated him now pissed me off. Plus, I’d bore witness to the affects of her abandonment, and that made me pull out my momma bear tendencies.

Over the last two months I’d observed Niall pour over details with planners and Justin, his co-host. He’d really put his heart and soul into it, and I was full of pride. So proud that I’d risked my perfect hairdo (okay, so it was Hannah and her masterful use of a flat iron and bobby pins) to give him a blowjob in the closet before he’d left. Right against his perfectly organized hat collection, near the mirror so he could watch in full detail as I swallowed him whole wearing nothing but a strapless bra (ouch) and lace boyshorts.

“Christ, if that’s the reaction I get for helpin’ people I’m gonna sign over my whole bank account.” I’d just nuzzled my cheek against his thigh and cleaned him off with a satisfied sigh. Then I  did something so positively dirty that when my rational brain returned I couldn’t believe it. I dipped my finger in a tiny trickle of come on his thigh, and, eyes locked with his, and dabbed it behind my ears like perfume. Then licked my finger.

“So I have a little bit of you with me all night.” I loved philanthropic men, what could I say? He hauled me to my feet and was about to maul me when his phone rang. “That’s your car.”

“Fuuuuuck. I’m going to think of that all night.”

“I know. That’s why I did it.” I kissed his lips pertly and rubbed his nose with mine. “Go, I’ll see you in a bit. I’ll be the one falling down in heels.”

“Don’t worry,” he turned to grin at me as he picked up his suit jacket, “I’ll catch ya.”

The ballroom at the private golf club was madness. Ellie and I had ridden from the house together, and were both bouncing with excitement. Swanky events weren’t my thing, but I knew the night promised to be amazing. We had shuffled in through the kitchen, and observed Jamie Freakin’ Oliver yelling out directions. El didn’t give me time to adequately fan girl. Probably for the best. I’m sure I would have ended up stealing a carrot. We spotted Bressie and Eoghan and huddled with them. My inner matchmaker decided that Ellie and the single Bressie would be adorable, and I made a mental note to mention that to Niall later. He was still working the green carpet, and would be for a while. I’d spied him outside of the ballroom doors and felt giddy inside - he looked amazing (god, Ellie was good at her job) and in his element.

We sipped Horan Shamrock Spritz cocktails and the obvious jokes about Niall being in our mouths were shared. I privately gloated knowing he was more than just in my mouth. Eoghan eventually made a face, “Of course she’d show up to this - rich and famous folks.” We all turned in unison and Bres groaned. I recognized the tiny (seriously, I’m short - I would tower over her) woman as Maura. Not wanting to be obvious and being a huge fan of avoidance, I excused myself to go to the charity section and spend some time mingling and discussing the clinic with guests, most of whom had no idea that I was anything other than a practitioner attending the event. My feet ached by the time dinner was announced, the royal blue shoes that matched some of the gem detail on the top of my cocktail dress not being designed for long term wear. I mentally patted myself on the back for tossing a pair of flip flops into my bag.

“Excuse me, excuse me,” a familiar Irish voice interrupted my conversation with an older couple about vaccines (for the nine millionth time in my career). Niall put his arm around my waist, “I need to steal this one to meet a few people. Have you all seen the silent auction tables? We’ve got some great prizes. Glenn,” he patted the man’s elbow, “there’s a package to play with Rors this fall. It’s got your name written all over it.” Like that he slid me a way.

“I owe you. So hard.”

“Your eyes were screamin’. I know when my girl needs help.” He kissed my cheek as we navigated the crowd, being stopped by every other person for Niall to chat. “You smell fuckin’ amazin’.” We raised our eyebrows at one another.

“Musk.”

“You’re going to kill me, woman.”

We were interrupted by a high pitched, loud voice, “There’s my baby boy!” I knew I couldn’t avoid her all night.

“Mam, I was lookin’ for ya. Wanted to introduce you to Zoe, my girlfriend. Zo, this is my mam, Maura, and step dad, Chris.” I could see Maura eyeing me up and down, and I felt everything from my hair to my toes being judged. I slapped on a huge smile and reminded myself that he loved her despite the shenanigans she’d caused, so I owed it to him to try.

I extended my hand, “It’s lovely to finally meet you.”

“You, too, dear. I didn’t know you had a young lady, Niall.”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, for a couple of months.” The tension was thick and I was uncomfortable.

“Did the two of you have a nice trip?” It was lame, but it was something. We stood and talked awkwardly (Niall had his arms crossed over his chest with his hands tucked, a sure sign he was uncomfortable) until dinner was announced. We were all at the same table, but luckily were joined by Bobby and Aoife as well, and Deo and Martin. Willie, Hannah, Eoghan, Bressie, and other friends were behind us, and at the next table were Justin and Kate (whom I had grown to quickly adore) and their family members. There were plenty of people to chat with so I could avoid direct conversation with Maura, who, to be fair, didn’t seem all that interested in talking to me. Luckily, the wine was flowing.

Shortly after dessert was served, some big shot came over and Niall introduced us all. As they left to start the speeches, the gentleman complimented Bobby and Maura on raising such a fine young man. Having sat back and watched her bask in Niall’s glory all night (and watching his jaw tense and him clench his fist when she did), including claiming him auditioning for XFactor was her idea (it wasn’t, and any fan with internet access knew that) and how she always knew he’d be special, my irritation grew, I couldn’t control myself. The cat was out to play.

“Yes, Bobby, he’s right,” I reached over and grabbed “the father-in-law” (as he’d dubbed himself the night before)’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “You really did a fabulous job with that one. Thank you.” I knew Maura caught what I’d done, and frankly I didn’t care. She glared at me and I gave her the eye right back. Deo watched us in amusement.

“Zoe, would you like to go to the powder room with me?” She was throwing down a challenge, and emboldened by liquid courage, I took it.

“Certainly.” Aoife looked at me with wide eyes, and stood to come along. I waved my hand at her, and she grabbed it. She had my back.

“Aoife, I think this needs to be a talk between Niall’s mother and his fling,” Maura said, giving her a withering look. Oh fuck no. Those were fighting words. I pushed my chair in with a little more force than I’d intended, and the table shook. She might be little, but I had rage and a little country in me. I would take her on for insulting me, her ex-husband’s girlfriend, and abandoning her sons. With pleasure.

“Well, let’s go have this talk, shall we?” I turned on my heel and walked off to the private toilets, not looking back to see if she’d follow me. I knew she would. And I knew whatever I said would be turned around to make her the victim. We all knew women like her. I leaned against the toilet wall and waited.

“Listen, missy,” she’d barely cleared the door. Normally I hated confrontation, but this was different. This was standing up for Niall. “I don’t know who you think you are, but I am his mother and you will not undermine me. I am just as responsible for his success as his father!” She was feisty, I’ll give her that. “You don’t know anything about me and how dare you embarrass me in front of these people. You’re just a slag using him for his money and connections.” I just let her rant. Also, project much?

My voice was much more calm than I’d anticipated. “You’re right, Maura, I don’t know you. I don’t know what you went through when you abandoned your sons, but I’ve seen first hand the damage it’s caused. I’ve had to deal with the complex Niall has about women leaving him, and it almost ruined our relationship before it started. Forgive me if I underestimate your contribution to his life beyond birthing him.”

“You have some nerve!” The door opened and Aoife and Hannah walked in just in time to hear her shriek at me.

“I do. You’re right. But, I’m not ‘some fling’. If you were an active part of his life, you’d know that. Everyone else from Ireland knew. I love your son. Desperately. And I apologize,” that hurt to even say (sorry not sorry), “if you feel that I haven’t adequately respected you. But please quit taking credit for something you had very little to do with. Niall is the amazing person he is in spite of you, not because.” My peace being said, I brushed past her and walk out of the bathroom, my hands shaking and went straight to the bar.

The night proceeded on, but I felt uneasy. It probably wasn’t my place to tell his mother off, even though she richly deserved it. Especially on a night like this. I tried to put it out of my mind, but I couldn’t. My stomach rebelled against me and I was anxious as hell. I’d seen her approach Niall afterwards and the two of them venture outside, their heads bent towards one another. Shit. Before I could check with him, however, the performances started.

Hannah had shared the highlights (greatly exaggerating, as to be expected) with the boys, and Eoghan had declared me his hero. Bressie jokingly offered to pay my tab for the evening. Bobby very obviously called me daughter multiple times in her earshot. At least some people were on my side.

“Hidin’ so I can’t have a dance with ya?” I’d be standing at the bar, sipping another Horan cocktail, and his hands rubbed my hips. He dipped his mouth close to my ear and whispered, “Gotta be careful kissing your neck tonight. Not big on the taste of myself.” I laughed and turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Hi, bugaboo.”

“Hi.” He kissed my nose. “Heard you’re causing trouble.” My stomach dropped and my face flamed even more. I bit my lip, hard.

“Sorry, I ran of-”

“Don’t apologize,” he stared at me. “No one has ever called Maura on her bullshit before. No one ever stood up for me like that.”

I exhaled, the weight of the world lifting off my shoulders. I pulled on a little piece of hair on his neck. “I could have picked a better venue, though.”

“Probably. But this is twice you’ve proven you’re a fucking bad ass in public.” He kissed me and lead me onto the dance floor as “Fix You” by Coldplay blasted. Appropriate.