#He's her guilty pleasure ex husband and the only thing he has going for him are the weekends he spends with their accidental kid

[aingeal98]

It's kind of amazing in the year 2024 there are still people who ship Jeff and Annie and fully buy into the "she can fix him" narrative like I know Community itself lost the plot in later seasons when harmon started hinting at it being genuine love instead of a joke about how Jeff was a pathetic creep preying on a teenager to feel young again but like. Even he couldn't make it canon in the end because it made zero sense. It would be a great ending for Jeff but an absolutely pathetic one for Annie because the actors having chemistry doesn't actually automatically translate into true love when their characters are completely incompatible and again, Annie was a teenager and Jeff was in his mid thirties. And the show was self aware enough to point this out as disgusting multiple times. Like I fully don't understand the appeal unless you ignore the show and Annie herself pointing out her unreliable narration and Jeff's self awareness of how pathetic he is.

[alittlextrathatway]

Line: "And the saddest fear comes creeping in." Location: HGTV taping.

Alright time for a brand new AU universe.

You guys don't know it but I have an AU idea in my head for HGTV Brettsey for YEARS.

I am not throwing away my shot.

***

Sometimes Sylvie feels guilty about the lie she and Matt are perpetrating for the world, but then she remembers what it felt like to essentially be blacklisted from working and decides a lie is better than being homeless and starving.

Besides, this lie hurts no one but themselves. They're the ones who have to forego love lives in order to pretend to be an engaged home renovation power couple.

Their friends Severide and Stella introduced them years ago. Matt's business-partner-slash-ex had left him in the lurch. She sold him her half of the business, which was great, but she left him without an interior designer. Sylvie's ex and former best friend had taken all of her clients and run her out of town so she was an interior designer without any work.

She met Stella on her first night in Chicago while the latter was bartending at a firefighter bar named Molly's. Sylvie literally cried into her beer about her misfortunes and Stella was quick to help.

"You know, you're an interior designer with no clients and my husband's best friend is a contractor with clients but no interior designer. Maybe the two of you could help each other out?"

It was the suggestion that changed her life.

Kelly and Stella hosted a dinner to introduce her to Matt and they got along like a house on fire. Matt is funny, genuine, and thoughtful. The opposite of her ex. They also had similar visions for a few of his current clients. His design ideas for construction reflected her favorite interior spaces to decorate. Professionally speaking, they were a match made in heaven.

And their clients' feedback reflected that. As business grew so did their friendship. But since things went horribly wrong with Harrison and Hope, Sylvie promised herself never to mix business and pleasure. Matt felt similarly, considering his history with his own ex. Which meant, no matter how close they became or how her feelings evolved, they would always only be friends.

Even when the world and HGTV thought otherwise.

They hadn't meant to perpetrate a fraud but they got the offer for the tv show, signed the contracts, and then found out about a terrible misunderstanding.

HGTV thought they were married.

That was the real reason they wanted to offer them the show. They wanted half reality television and half home renovation. If they weren't married then the show would have been cancelled.

It was a shot in the dark that they would be picked up for a full season anyway. So, after a lengthy discussion, they went along with the story and decided not to fully correct their misunderstanding. As a compromise and an attempt to assuage their guilt, they told HGTV they were engaged instead of married.

By some miracle, they bought it.

And now, three years later, their show is still going strong and the American public thinks they're happily engaged and on their way to wedded bliss.

Only in Sylvie's wildest dreams.

Of course over the last three years, her pretend love for Matt Casey has become full blown, head over heels, unconditional love. Not that he knows that. She's pretty certain he's none the wiser.

"Cut!"

Sylvie's jarred from her thoughts by the sudden yell and shakes herself back to the present, taking in Matt's concerned face.

"Hey, guys," he requests, smiling politely. "Can you give us a second?"

The director nods and sighs tiredly. "Yeah, sure thing. Take five, everyone! When we come back we'll pick back up with the initial property walk through."

Once the crew has dispersed, Matt gently pulls her aside with a guiding hand on the small of her back. "Are you okay?"

She bites her bottom lip and idly spins her engagement ring, a habit she's developed when she's anxious. "That meeting we had with the network this morning..."

"I thought we said we weren't going to worry about that today?" He asks her, with a soft scolding stare.

"We say a lot of things, Matt, but that doesn't mean they're all true."

He snorts and chuckles at her, taking her left hand in his to stop her from twirling her ring. "We'll work something out."

"Work something out?" She says in a harsh whisper. "They want us to set a wedding date. A wedding date for our extremely fake engagement. A wedding date that will be used to market the renovation deadline of our future home that we're going to take on in the midst of all of our other clients and responsibilities."

"They'll compensate us appropriately so we can scale back our clients and focus only on our house. The workload will be fine," he assures her.

Okay, but that's not even the biggest part of her concerns! How is he so calm? How is he okay with marrying her, a woman he doesn't love? "Great, I'm glad to hear about the workload," she replies dryly. "Nevermind the huge wedding they want us to have, film, and then promote as a tv special. That's not a big deal at all."

He sighs and the sound comes off as hopeless and wistful all at once. His callused fingers grip her chin and lift her face until they’re eye to eye. Once he has her full attention, he brushes a loose tendril of hair out of her eyes and tucks it behind her ear. The gesture makes her stomach swoop in the most delightfully nauseating way.

Ugh, why does she have to be in love with her best friend and business partner? Why is nothing in her life ever straight forward?

"Look, I get it, no one wants you to marry a guy you're not in love with, least of all me. But we'll find a way to stall them. We've gotten pretty good at it over the last few years. We'll think of something. For now, though, let the network think they're gonna finally get that wedding special they've always wanted. It'll keep them off our backs for a little while at least."

She doesn't like his tone. He doesn't sound like himself. Not the flirtatiously playful version of himself he usually is when they're filming anyway. This is solemn Matt Casey. The one she sees most often when he’s stressed or anxious or in some sort of emotional turmoil.

He was fine until she let her fears get the better of her and got distracted during a heavy filming day. For his sake, she needs to get it together. She can sort out how to bury her feelings for Matt and get them out of this mess later.

"You're right," she says, taking a slow and soothing breath. "We'll figure out. We always do. I mean, whatever else our fans think we are, we've always been a great team." She smiles warmly at him, hoping the expression leaves her faith in the two of them on full display. From the day they met, he's been nothing but exceptionally good to her. Even if his feelings have never gone beyond platonic. "I don't see that changing anytime soon."

He squeezes her hand with an earnestly devoted look on his face that's too beautiful to be misread. "Not if I can help it. There's no one else I'd rather be partners with than you."

He means business partners. She knows he does, but is it terrible of her to internally swoon anyway? God, she's so screwed. How did she let this happen and how can she get out of it unscathed?

Matt Casey's going to break her heart and he'll never even know it.

[donutloverxo]

Yes captain

Note - this is part three of corrupting a good boy but it's mostly porn so can be read as a standalone as well. Sorry about all the jealousy stuff its just what the muse calls for sometimes. Comments/reblogs are really really appreciated🙏🙏 Dividers by @whimsicalrogers.

Summary - You ask Steve to keep it on while doing it 👀👀

Warnings - 18+ only explicit sexual content, uniform kink, captain kink, daddy kink, roleplaying, jealousy, insecure reader.

Pairing - CEO!Steve x reader

Word count - 4.5k

“Ooo,” you yelped, trying to run away from his firm grip across your hips.

It only made him hold onto you tighter, his nails digging into the flesh of your hips. “There’s no where to run, babygirl,” he chuckled at your misery, delivering another harsh slap to your naked bottom.

You shrieked in pain as your flesh burned in agonising, but delicious pleasure. As if you’d ever want to actually run. “I’m sorry, daddy.” Since you were allowed to call him daddy now, which seemed to always make him forgive you, but you added your princess voice just to be safe and not make it any harder on yourself.

“You should’ve thought of that before you decided to make fun of my team, but you had to be a dumb baby and run your mouth,” he scolded you, slapping you twice before slipping a hand between your legs, the squelching noises of him gathering your slick on his fingers made your ears burn.

You had gotten too bored of him watching the game and not paying attention to you so you might’ve said some mean things about his team, but the jokes on him since your diabolical plan seemed to have worked.

You had gotten too lost in slight tinge of pain in the roots of your hair, that he was pulling, and his fingers teasing your core, you yelped forward when he slapped your pussy, gasping as you throbbed for more of it.

“Honey,” Steve shook your arm causing you to jolt awake.

You had a habit of talking or mumbling nonsense in your sleep and since he was a light sleeper it usually woke him up. He found your incoherent rambles and the little faces you made in your sleep cute, they were particularly intense tonight for some reason, and while he loved you with all his heart he was not about to let you talk nonsense about the Yankees.

“What? Where?” you sat up, rubbing the soft sheen of sweat on your forehead with the back of your hand.

“You were talking in your sleep, sweetheart,” Steve said, rubbing his hand up and down your back, “Come here.” He circled a hand around your waist, pulling you down and back against his chest, kissing the back of your head, “What were you dreaming about, hm?”

“Um...” you blinked, “How much of it did you hear?”

“You think your so clever, don’t you,” he teased, pinching the side of your hip as you giggled.

“Yes, I’m very smart.”

You shut your eyes, ready to go back to dreamland and to your daddy, who was just a version of Steve who liked being called daddy. Which was something Steve would never be into. Not that you’d ever admit to having such a shameful kink.

But you felt Steve grind his excitement against your ass, “You wanna go back to sleep, or...?” he asked, biting the shell of your ear before snaking a hand up your cami to grope your breast.

“You woke me up with such debauch intention?!” you gasped in fake incredulity. Deciding to indulge him and that any time spent with normal real Steve was much better than being with dream daddy Steve.

***

You fixed his tie, tightening it just a bit around his neck. His golden hair was smoothed back, your eyes caught a glimpse of his rosy pink lips. So pouty and perfect. You could spend hours just looking at them, his smile was what truly made you fall for him. But you pulled away when he tried to steal a kiss from you.

“Gloss,” you argued, puckering your lips. Instantly feeling guilty as his pink ones pouted, giving you his sweet puppy eyes.

“Come on, doll, just one kiss? Don’t you wanna wish me luck?” He bent to capture your lips but you moved your head away at the last second, making him groan as his nose bumped against your cheek.

“I spent over two hours getting ready for this!” you huffed, smoothening a hand over your puffy tulle dress, finally having a chance to wear it out in public.

“Did you just smudge my blush?” Gasping, as you looked into the mirror, picking up your rouge and patting it on again.

You loved the dress Steve had gotten you for Christmas, it was so pretty and princess and you felt like Cinderella wearing it.

But it was too... girl-ish, Steve had insisted that you wear it. So he could show off his beautiful new wife.

Tonight though, you had to look like a woman.

A strong woman.

Who is not to be fucked around with. And not someone who is vulnerable and weak.

Because you knew she was going to be there.

“You always look gorgeous,” he mumbled, looking in the mirror and patting his hair to make sure it was in place.

You had convinced him to grow it out. Having more courage to express yourself since the Christmas gift mishap a couple of months ago.

Tucking a loose golden strange behind his ear, you wondered how someone as breathtakingly as beautiful as him could be yours.

But as beautiful as Steve was, he could also be naive. He wanted to see the best in people, which often didn’t let him see what was right in front of him.

How his ex Peggy had been trying to cause problems between you two from day one.

At first she had welcomed you with open arms, with a treacherous smile her red lips had told you that she wanted to be best friends with you. Taking you to the MET museum, of which she was a board member, asking your help in organising a couple of galas and the fundraisers. Shopping with you to make you more presentable to be a CEO’s wife

You were prepared to be wary of her. The fact that Steve was still good friends with his ex, who he had dated for more than five years, didn’t exactly sit well with you, you knew you’d face some troubles there, but then you met her and spent time with her you knew that you did had nothing to worry about.

That was until she, and Steve’s mother, had tried to get you to sign a pre-nup before you both got married.

While Sarah was always nice, you could always sense a tinge of hostility, your intuition told you how she preferred Peggy over you and would much rather have her as Steve’s wife.

With a heavy heart you had told Steve you couldn’t do it. That there was no point in getting married if you would end up divorced eventually. You were ready to cut your losses then, to pack your bags and go home, preparing for the worst. But he understood and said that he wouldn’t be marrying you if he didn’t trust you.

You were glad to have worked out everything, but decided to play nice with ‘Judas', whom you learned had infamously betrayed Jesus from a mass you attended with Steve and Sarah, and pretend that you didn’t know anything about her betrayal.

You shook your head, there was no point in letting her ruin your night, or dictate what you wore. The dress was what you liked and who you were, there was no reason for you to pretend to be like her. Steve liked you because you were nothing like her,

....probably.

You looked over to Steve, tugging his pants up and securing them, you had never once thought you’d be someone who’d have a thing for men in uniforms, they were simply doing their jobs, what the fuck was sexy about uniforms anyway, but that was until you saw your Steve in his...

He really could pull off any color, even something as boring as army green, his chest and built looked almost too broad. Numerous medals adorning his chest. He certainly looked the part of a soldier.

He kissed your temple when he caught you staring at him and you only hoped he couldn’t decipher what was going on in that horny brain of yours.

Steve rarely ever talked about his days in the army. If he did it was about the friends he made and the good times he shared with them. And how army whipped him in shape, made him the man he was.

He had been honorably discharged a couple of years ago, all his army friends only ever spoke highly of him--which wasn’t really surprising.

***

“Hello, darling,” she smiled to you in her classy British accent, kissing your cheek before hugging you, “How have you been? Haven’t seen you since new years!”

“I’m good and you look amazing.”

Which wasn’t a complete lie, she did look elegant in her uniform, a lot similar to Steve’s but her coat had flares at the end which gave it a more feminine feel than that of Steve’s.

“So do you,” she beamed, “Oh, you have a little something,” she gestured to the corner of your mouth before wiping some white frosting from your cupcake off with her thumb as you tried to keep your face from cringing.

So far the strong woman act wasn’t coming along so well...

“So...how is married life?”

Wouldn’t you like to know. “It’s very good. You know Steve, he’s just amazing. I’m lucky to have him.”

“Oh, I did heard about your little goof with your erotica from Natalie, and the gift slip up!” she laughed, hooking her arm around yours, she walked with you towards your husband. “And here I was thinking you are a good girl,” she winked.

“I... guess I’m not...”

“I must say though, unfortunately for you I don’t think Steve would like any of that. He’s always been so traditional,” she rolled her eyes, “He has an old soul.”

Yes, you knew that. You knew that he was traditional and an old soul. Of course You did, he was your husband. Why she felt the need to point out the obvious was beyond you. “Well, you know people can be unpredictable,” you countered.

“Yes, well you’re free to explore of course, I just didn’t want you to get your feelings hurt,” she put a hand over yours.

“Peggy,” Steve greeted her.

“Oh don’t mind us. We’re just gossiping about you,” she smirked.

“Really?” he looked over at you with a quizzical face, “All good things I hope.”

“I don’t have anything bad to say about you,” you said giving Peggy a side eye, “Can we dance? Please?”

It didn’t take a lot of convincing because he loved dancing. After a couple of dances it was time for him to give his speech.

Seeing your husband up on the stage, hearing everyone talk about his accomplishments made your heart swell in pride. You really couldn’t believe you were married to someone like him.

You suppose that you understood where Sarah was coming from. It would make sense for someone like Steve to fall for and marry a classy worldly lady like Peggy. There really wasn’t much you could offer him.

***

“Steve,” you huffed, trying to yank on the zipper for like the tenth time, while you loved the dress you needed to get out of it and breathe for a while.

“Yes, doll?” he called for you, entering your closet, smiling at your struggling form. “How can I help?”

“You can get me out of this thing!” you said, turning your back to him.

You were really feeling yourself tonight, you had gotten a facial and a manipedi, a blowout, spending hours on getting ready for battle. You thought you looked good and fierce. But then you took off your makeup and your extensions and were reminded of how Peggy was much more effortlessly beautiful than you. She had often been dubbed as a ‘natural beauty’.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Is something bothering you?” he asked as he unzipped you.

“No. Will you let me change now?” you turned around, to politely ask him to leave.

“You’ve changed in front of me before.”

“Yes, well I can’t right now.”

“Why not?” he frowned.

“Because...” You couldn’t stop your eyes from turning misty, “I’m ugly...”

“What? Who told you that?” His face instantly flushed with anger as he held onto your forearms, and when you didn’t push him away he pulled you in closer to his chest.

“No one needs to. I know it because I’m not blind,” you confessed, the cool metal of his medal digging into your cheek.

“Then maybe we need to get your eye sight checked. Because you’re the prettiest girl in this whole world. I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.” He stroked your hair, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“You’ll have to fight the whole world then.”

“If it comes to that then I will.”

You couldn’t help but smile at how protective he was. Propping your chin up on his chest you blinked at him. “Why didn’t you marry Peggy? She’s so much more beautiful.” Your heart was heavy with so many emotions, usually you wouldn’t give in and ask something so dangerous--a question you weren’t sure you wanted the answer to.

Judging by the frown on his face, you were afraid that you had upset him, but then it softened as his pale baby blues twinkled at you, “Why would you say that, doll? Peggy is beautiful, but I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I could never even dream of marrying anyone else.”

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others.”

“You really shouldn’t. They don’t measure up to you anyway,” he teased.

“It’s just...” you gulped, not being able to hold his gaze you played with the olive green buttons on his coat, “I heard at the party from Tony, that she will be working with you from now on. Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“You don’t trust me?” his voice cracked.

You whipped your head up, frantically shaking your head from side to side, “No no of course I do! I’m just saying it’s a risky game. To be around her so much... what if old feelings resurface?”

Your heart almost broke as he let go of you, putting some distance between you both, “You know all I ever ask for is that you trust me... and love me. I don’t think it’s a lot.”

You scoffed, “Yeah well, I don’t think me asking you not to work with your ex is a lot. No woman would be okay with her husband spending that much time with her ex.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Why can’t I get through to you?”

“Maybe try speaking at a fourth grade level. Then I’ll understand. Since I don’t have a masters in literature from Sorbonne,” you rolled your eyes. Maybe he was intimidated by how smart Peggy is and decided to go for someone younger and dumber.

“I’ve never... been in love with Peggy or anyone but you really,” he told you, his broad shoulders hunching as he let out a sigh, “Not the way I’m in love with you. We were always more like friends than... lovers.”

“Is that better or worse?” you wondered out loud. Isn’t it important for husband and wife to be friends as well? Was that supposed to be a compliment?

“It’s much better. We would go months without seeing each other, and I didn’t miss her. Like I miss you when I’m at work. I can’t wait to get away and come home to you. Peggy is amazing, and I’ll always have a special place for her in my heart, but I would never even think about cheating on you.

But... I understand where you’re coming from. Maybe I would react the same way if you were to work with an ex. So I can just tell her that she’ll have to work with Nat, or someone else.”

“No,” you blurted.

Absolutely not.

Because A - You really did trust Steve not to stray. He wasn’t that type of man. And B - That would be admitting defeat. Admitting to her that you are afraid of her.

“I do trust you, Steve. I think... I just need to work on myself. If we don’t have trust then we don’t have anything right?”

“I trust you too, honey,” he kissed your forehead. “Just talk to me about this stuff okay? You can’t keep it bottled up.” You nodded as he worked on loosening his tie.

“Um... is that uncomfortable?” you asked, watching him pop open the first button of his shirt.

“The uniform? A little. It’s been a while since I put it on.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t wear it at our wedding.” You smiled. Maybe it was a good thing that he didn’t. While he looked so handsome in the black tux he had worn, the uniform would’ve made him irresistible. You would’ve spent the whole evening swooning over him.

“It didn’t feel right, I just wanted to be myself. Uh... doll,” he quirked a brow as he caught you staring at his crotch, “Hey,” he snapped his fingers, “My eyes are up here.”

“Yes, um, of course,” you whipped your head up as soon as you heard him, since you were too busy trying to make out the outline of his johnson, “And what beautiful eyes you have!”

“Tell me something. What is your obsession with this uniform?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” You decided to feign ignorance.

“Really? You’ve been staring at me all night. Do you not like it? Do you like it? Sometimes I think I don’t understand women at all.”

You probably would’ve appreciated his suit even more so if you hadn’t spent so much time festering in your jealousy. “I think... it’s... kinda hot,” you sighed dreamily as he blushed a crimson red. “You’re like this big strong Captain, and I’m like this small woman, like a damsel in distress type of thing.”

“Oh.” Was the only thing that he said. He never believed you would be into something like that, not from all the feminist rants you tend to go on.

“Oh god. You think I’m a weirdo, don’t you?” You put your hands over your face to hide it from him.

“No no, hey, don’t be like that,” he cooed, pulling your hands away so he could look at your pretty face, “I can be your... big, strong Captain. And you can be my damsel in distress.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah. So... how would it work? Do I save you from a burning building or something?”

“No, sweetie. You’re thinking of a fireman.”

“Oh, right,” he blushed, scratching the back of his neck, “We can do the fireman thing if you like. I can... be a fireman.”

“Steve, we don’t have to do anything.”

“I know. But I want to. Come on! Give me something to work with.”

“Okay,” you cleared your throat. “How about... you keep the suit on?”

“On for how long?” he tilted his head like a cute confused puppy, looking down at his suit, “Oh! You mean on while we’re...”

“Yes. And I could, I don’t know, thank you for serving my country.”

“Yeah. I mean medals and all are nice, but I want a special kind of thanks from you, doll.”

“Ooo,” you felt up his biceps through his coat and shirt, he really was strong. “Do you have anything specific in mind?” you asked, batting your lashes.

“Um... yes.... You get on your knees, miss... I mean ma’am, shit,” he cursed as he awkwardly stumbled over his words. “What do I call you? Are you my wife in this scenario?”

“You can just call me doll, captain. I’ll be whatever you want me to be,” you smiled, cheekily pressing your lips to his in a quick peck but he held onto your waist before you could pull away. Sliping his tongue inside your mouth.

“Alright then, doll. Show me how grateful you are,” he puffed his chest out, so he could appear a bit more dominant.

You only giggled, taking your dress off because there was no way you could kneel in so much tulle.

Standing before him in just a strapless bra and a nude thong, you were vulnerable, but not scared anymore. He was your captain, he’d never ridicule you.

“I’m already feeling appreciated,” he said as he ogled you.

You dropped down to your knees, unbuckling him with some help from him, “It’s so big,” you gasped when you looked at his length, pretending to be seeing it for the first time. Although, you were still always surprised with the sheer monstrosity of it.

“We’ll make it fit, doll. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that,” he smiled, tapping on your mouth, “Open,” he commanded.

You’re a natural, captain. You took a deep breath before opening wide. You’d been having sex regularly for the past three months or so, he had gone down on you more times than you could count, you felt as if he could live between your legs if he could. But he had never once asked you to return the favor, you didn’t have it in you to be the first one to bring it up either.

Licking your lips, you tasted someone of the preejaculate leaking out of his tip before wrapping your mouth around his head, moaning at the salty taste and the essence of him.

“That’s... ugh,” he groaned, “That’s good. Keep going,” he spurred you on, a hand on the back of your head giving you the slightest bit of push.

You took as much of him as you could, stopping halfway through when he hit the back of your throat, you pumped the rest of his length with your palm, holding onto his thick thigh for support, you bobbed your head, increasing your pace when he started moaning loudly.

Rubbing your thighs together to relive some pressure, your throbbing core desperate for some attention and friction, you knew your panties were ruined.

You had read your fair share of cosmos, and the many sex tips they offered, you knew they’d come in handy someday. You swore you remembered reading something about balls... to suck them? Bite them?

You fondled his balls, feeling him tightening in your palm, you were ready to swallow all of you. That was the only proper way of saying thank you.

“Wait,” he growled, pulling you off of him.

You looked up at him, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, doll,” he heaved, “But I gotta come in your pussy.”

Your jaw dropped, to hear the golden boy using such filthy language. “Whatever you say, captain,” you rasped.

Gasping when he yanked you up, pulling you over his shoulder and carrying you to the bed before throwing you down on the mattress.

Although Steve had always been dominant in bed, it was somewhat lowkey and subtle, he was never rough with you, he treated you as if you were made of glass, right now he was treating you as if you were literally a ragdoll.

“Take off your panties,” he ordered you.

You followed quickly, desperate to have him inside you asap, rolling your thing down your thighs and then getting rid of your bra before he even had to ask. You looked at him through your lashes, waiting patiently for his next command.

He hesitated for a moment before saying, “Now touch yourself.” It had always been a wet dream of his to watch you, instruct you as you got yourself off. Since your intention was to please him... he might as well make most of it.

You blinked at him before nodding, “Yes, captain.”

Fondling your breast you pinched your nipple, pulling on it before hissing exaggeratedly, smirking when you saw his hand twitch to touch you.

“What do I do?” you looked up at him with big doe eyes.

He shook his head, circling a hand around your wrist he shoved two of your fingers inside your mouth, “Suck,” he told you. “You like having your mouth stuffed, don’t you?” he asked as you noisily suckled on his fingers.

You shamelessly nodded, hoping that you’d get more opportunities to suck his cock from now on, he pulled your fingers out, bringing them down between your legs, pushing them into your willing channel. His own thumb rubbing on your clit working you up even moreso.

You threw your head back as you felt your climax approaching. “So close... captain.”

But he pulled your hand away from your pussy, tutting at your disobedience, “I didn’t tell you you could come.” He shook your head, giving you a minute to catch your breath before pushing two of his, much larger fingers inside you, “Gotta get you ready, doll. Since you’re so small.”

“Oh! It’s too much...” you moaned, holding onto the bedding.

“How're you gonna take my dick then, doll,” you watched as he licked your slick off of his fingers, “You taste like heaven, honey.”

“Thank you, captain.”

He unbuttoned his coat, he would be much freer without it and fuck you properly like you deserved.

You rolled your eyes when he folded his coat setting down on the floor, when you were literally lying naked before him with your legs spread wide, waiting as his tie and pants followed, “Really?” you scoffed.

“Can’t have them getting dirty, doll.” He knelt on the bed, now only in his shirt, spreading your legs a bit further so he could make room for himself, nudging your intimate lips apart with his length before slowing sinking into you.

He stayed like that for a bit, inside your heat, it felt as if he would explode then and there but he had to savor the moment. To have such a pretty girl wrapped around him.

Hovering over you he placed his elbows on sides of your head so he wouldn’t put too much of his weight on you, and so he could look at your as he fucked you.

He moved his hips against yours, rocking slow and steady, “You like that, doll?”

“Yes,” you nodded as he pulled on your hair to bare your neck to him. Biting your neck to mark you as his, “Do it harder, please, captain.”

“Harder?” he spoke against your neck, pinning both your hands above your head as he started rigorously pounding into you. “That hard enough?”

You were too fucked out to give a coherent answer, or to do anything but nod pathetically and take whatever he gave you.

“Ima come...” you clenched around him as your orgasm washed over you, rendering you immobile and weightless.

He thrusted into you a couple of times before filling you up to the brim - just as he had promised.

“Thank you, doll. That was really nice,” he smiled, laying beside you and pulling you closer to him, he kissed your forehead.

“Thank you, captain. You sure know how to treat a lady right...”

“Maybe we can do this more often,” he suggested as you nodded in reply.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Shout out to my friend lizzygal (you can find her on ao3) who gave me the idea of Steve folding his uniform. It was too hilarious to leave out! Thanks for reading.

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

[darkmasterlistyouneveraskedfor]

Non MCU Character One Shots

Hounded:  The reader doesn’t fit in at court, but she might just stick out too much. [dark!Sandor Clegane ~ 18+]

Unannounced: The reader is caretaker to the widow of the manor but one day she returns to an unexpected visitor. [dark!Charles Blackwood/Reader ~ 18+]

Long Live the King: The king shows you who is in charge. [dark!Thranduil/Reader ~ 18+]

Fact or Fiction: Your publisher has died and now you must deal with new management. [Ransom Drysdale/Reader ~ 18+]

The Man in his Castle: A co-ed discovers that money is still king. [dark!Charles Blackwood/Reader ~ 18+]

Actus Reus: You find yourself at odds with Andy Barber both in and out of court. [dark!Andy Barber/Reader ~18+]

A Tear in the Fabric: Universes collided as a malfunction brings an unexpected visitor. [dark!Steve Rogers/Reader & dark!Clark Kent ~ 18+]

In the Neighbourhood: After your grandmother breaks her hip, you volunteer to look after her as she recovers but her neighbour is a bit too friendly. [dark!Andy Barber/Reader ~ 18+]

In the Weeds: Ransom takes an interest in his new gardener. [dark!Ransom Drysdale/Reader ~ 18+]

(Un)Fortunate Misunderstanding: Your intentions are misunderstood as you struggle to comprehend those of another. [dark!Andy Barber/Reader ~ 18+]

The Whole World in his Hands: Your new neighbour isn’t as much of a stranger as you thought. [dark!Clark Kent/Reader ~ 18+]

Baby, It’s Cold…: You go to meet your online admirer but not all is as it seems. [dark!silverfox!Ransom Drysdale/Reader ~ 18+]

In Between the City Walls of Dying Dreams: One night, you’re saved by the last person you expect, but you don’t know that he’s only saving you for himself. [dark!ex-con!Andy Barber/Reader ~18+]

An Officer and a Gentleman: Your after hours work gets in the way of your day job. [dark!Lee Bodecker/Reader ~ 18+]

More Than Just a Game: You find a new gaming buddy but he sees you as more than that. [dark!Jake Jensen/Reader ~ 18+]

Born to Run: You are forced onto the road when an unwanted passenger gets in your backseat. [dark!Frank Castle/Reader ~ 18+]

Life Goes On: You volunteer at the local youth center but when one of the kids meets an unfortunate end, you cross paths with his father. No stranger to grief, you try to help him cope but find it a bigger than task that you expected. [dark!Andy Barber/Reader ~ 18+]

CTRL+ALT+DECEIT: You find your pictures on someone else’s Insta but that’s not the only thing he’s stolen. [dark!Jake Jensen/Reader ~ 18+]

Never Have I Ever:  You never done one fun thing in your life, so why not getaway on a girls’ trip and see where the journey takes you. [dark!silverfox!Andy Barber/Reader ~ 18+] Sequel: Never Again

I.R.L. (camboy!Andy Barber, Defending Jacob), Part 2: Your guilty pleasures becomes and all too real terror. [dark!camboy!Andy Barber/Reader ~ 18+]

Nothing Compares 2 U: You find yourself growing apart from your husband but he has an idea of how to bring you back together. [dark!Ransom Drysdale/Reader ~ 18+]

Drag me down / Take me out: You live behind a frat house but the noise isn’t the worst thing you have to put up with. [dark!frat!Andy Barber/Reader ~ 18+]

The house by the river: Ransom invites you to his summer house for a party with the usual crowd, but not all it what it seems. [dark!Ransom Drysdale/Reader ~ 18+]

The Watcher: Your life is flipped upside down by your husband’s backroom dealing, leaving you with a protector who might not be what you expect. [dark!Rick Flag/Reader ~ 18+]

Sweet as Silence: It’s easy to be prey when you can’t scream for help. [dark!Tormund Gianstbane/Reader ~ 18+]

Lost Cause: You owe Ward Cameron a favour but paying it back might be harder than you expect.  [Rafe Cameron/Reader ~ 18+]

Bring you flowers: You’re life is depressing and predictable, but a change in routine is less than welcome. [Rafe Cameron/Reader ~ 18+]

If it’s only a fantasy, then why is it killing me?: The most devoted dad in the PTA proves to be more than you can handle. [dark!Andy Barber/Reader ~ 18+]

A marriage of inconvenience: You get a rare chance at respite from your icy marriage, but can you handle the heat? [Clark Kent & Bruce Wayne/Reader ~ 18+, Regency AU]

Tempestuous: The king and his court visit Storm’s End, bringing chaos with them. [Jaime Lannister/Reader ~ 18+]

Where the Streets Have No Name: A certain vigilante becomes your personal protector. [Bruce Wayne/Reader ~ 18+]

Off the Beaten Track: Your taxi ride takes an unexpected turn. [Lee Bodecker/Reader ~ 18+]

In His Thrall: You serve the king but one day, he assigns you a new duty. [Harald Finehair/Reader ~ 18+]

Pitfall: You try to help your brother but can’t seem to help yourself. [Lloyd Hansen/Reader ~ 18+]

succulent: A nightmare comes to life. [Steve Kemp/Reader ~ 18+]

Through the Eye: A new characters brings about echoes of the past.  [John Wick]

God Mode: You like games but you don’t quite understand the game a strange man plays with you. [God The Bounty Hunter]

Double Trouble: You meet a strange pair of men while waiting on your friends.[Lloyd Hansen, August Walker]

[maybe-your-left]

Window Panes - Forever

We made it! 

Here is the Window Panes Masterlist and my Masterlist for all my other fics. 

Summary: A cool breeze nipped at your exposed legs, causing goosebumps to erupt over your skin. You were curled into your comforter, comfy and safe, your cheek pressed against your pillow. Lips pursed and a small amount of drool seeping into the fabric. A creak came from the corner of your room, slightly rousing you from your slumber. You glanced around, your drooping eyelids barely taking in the scene. In your sleep riddled state, you didn't see him, his large figure stalking towards you. The whites of his eyes shining in the moonlight, it wasn't until you felt a palm slide up your side. Following the natural contours of your body, the warmth emanating from it lulling you to sleep once again. A dip in the mattress, the springs creaking under the weight. 

Hot breath fanned over your neck, soft lips pressing onto the back of your ear. A deep hum filling your senses, you sighed. Cuddling back into the figure, wanting to get closer to the warm entity. A low chuckle sounded behind you, and then... 

Nothing. 

TW/CW: This is dark shit, like explicitly horrible shit happens in this. However, I enjoy reading dark fics, and I super loved Stalker Clyde by @clumsycopy​ & was inspired by the oneshot EOS by @thetorturerwrites and I wanted to write something with the sameish tone for Halloween. NSFW, Violence, Murder, Non-con elements, Domestic Violence, Surgery, Explicit sex, oral sex, anal sex, sex toys, miscarriage, mental manipulation, stockholm syndrome, waterboarding, forced feeding, Animal abuse (just a brief mention, I do not go into any detail). 

“Is it-Are we rolling?” 

“Yeah, we’re rolling.” 

“Okay, great,” a sigh of relief. 

You shifted in your chair, smoothing back your hair and itching the microphone that was attached to your shirt collar. Crossing and recrossing your legs, you should’ve worn pants, a skirt was a stupid idea with these boots. You gave a weak smile to the woman across from you, her white teeth flashing the cameras all around the sound stage. 

“Okay,” she looked into the lens, “We are here tonight with one of the victims of the famous 2020 murder trial from New York. She went through over five years of repeated abuse at the hands of her kidnapper, all while he was out killing people around the city.” She turned to you, nodding her head as a show for you to react to the TV. “It’s so nice to have you here, Miss (Y/N).” 

You cleared your throat, shifting once more, “Thank you, it’s a pleasure to be here.” 

“How are you doing?” 

You bit back a scoff, what a stupid thing to ask. After that introduction, what was she expecting you to say, ‘oh I’m fucking fantastic, I’ve been running since the day he was sent to prison and going through intense psycho-therapy to rid myself of Stockholm syndrome.’. 

“I’m great,” you faked a smile, “Always nice to visit New York again.” 

“I’m sure,” she smiled once more, all you could think about were the wrinkles on her face, the crows feet on the corner of her eyes. She must get botox for working at a news station, there’s no way her skin is on with just natural confidence. 

“When was the last time you visited?” 

You had to stop yourself from blurting out an answer, knowing that this would be on national television. Which you knew federal prisons watched, you wouldn’t want to give away any of your whereabouts since the incident. “Uh-it’s been a few years, I haven’t had much reason to be back. My life has shifted to another part of the world.” 

“That’s fantastic! So you’ve been doing well for yourself the past six years?” 

“Yeah,” you gave a genuine smile, “It’s been tough, no off days really. Trying to gain some normalcy from it all, but I’ve done well. I live relatively fearless, of everything.” 

“We have you here because of a break in your case, as I’m sure you know.” 

You gave a grim nod. 

It’s all anyone wanted to talk about since the story flashed on the news last week. Leaving your once quiet home filled with reporters. You weren’t even home when it happened, out getting groceries, gripping your sons’ hands firmly as you walked the aisles. Letting him pick out some snacks for his lunchbox, like any mother would, when your phone blew up. 

Dozens of messages, calls, articles, you name it. 

All with his face plastered on it. 

Convicted murderer and kidnapper, Kylo Ren, has requested the death penalty. After being found attempting to escape federal prison for the 6th time in the past five years. The convict claims that he ‘would rather die than live another day rotting in his cell’. Dropping all the appeals cases that his lawyers have been pushing since his initial sentencing. 

The former New York state governor was on trial for murderering and disemboweling 9 separate victims and kidnapping an 18-year-old girl. He kept her in his basement as his sex slave for close to 3 years before he married her, the young girl escaping into the streets when she was just 22 years old. Covered from head to toe in gashes, blood, and bruises. Claiming that her husband had beaten her within an inch of her life. 

The subsequent trial lasted three months after his arrest. Leading to him being convicted of first-degree murder, rape, and domestic assault. He was sentenced to life in prison, his then-wife was placed under medical care for an undetermined time. 

Mr. Ren has tried to get his charges appealed since the initial sentencing, claiming that his wife was mentally insane and an unfit witness. Along with other claims that include bribing members of the jury to change their verdicts. The whereabouts of Mr. Ren’s ex-wife is unknown, but he claims that he has kept tabs on her even from ‘the inside’. 

“Your kidnapper is being put on death row, which isn’t allowed in the state of New York. Which means he is being transferred over state lines to another prison. However, it hasn’t been revealed where he is being brought because of people interfering with the swap. How do you feel about that?” 

You chewed your cheek, thinking for a moment. There was no way he did this willingly, Ren was never someone to take the easy way out. The last time you heard from him was three years ago, on your son’s birthday. 

Receiving a call from the prison, the only one you had gotten since the sentencing. 

You remember picking up the phone, throat going dry as you whispered that you accepted the charges. Waiting for the operator to connect you to him, after three long years without his voice. 

“Hello, love.” 

“What,” you whispered, stepping away from the living room of screaming toddlers. Your boyfriend gave you a weird look when your face went white as a ghost. “What do you want, Ren?” 

“How are you? Doing well I hope?” 

You huffed, moving into your kitchen and ripping a bottle of wine out of the fridge. Taking a drink as you snarled, “Just tell me what shitty thing you have to say so I can go back to my family.” 

“Oh, yes. Your family.” he sighed, “And what a sweet family it is… little Luke is how old now? I would think he would be about… three.” 

“How do you know about my son?” 

“Hm.” 

“I don’t think he’s just yours.” 

“You shut your mouth, Luke is not your son. I’m going to hang up if you don’t get to the point.” 

“He’s growing up so well. Hairs getting longer, but I know you like to keep it short. But he complained about his ears last time-so big.” 

You took a deep breath, peaking into the living room. Just in time to see your baby boy, smiling and laughing with his friends. Sitting in your boyfriends’ lap, tearing into presents. His big eyes shone with tears of joy when he ripped through a gift that was his favorite color, red. A squeal so loud it could’ve shattered a window, pulling out a giant plush toy. It was like a penguin-mixed with a little dog, no nose, and some sharp fangs. From one of his favorite TV shows, along with a card and some other little toys. 

“Tell me, love,” he chuckled, “Does he like his present? He sounds over the moon about it through the speaker. What I wouldn’t give to be there to run my fingers through his dark hair, look him in the eyes and tell him how much his father loves him.” 

You made Luke sleep in bed with you that night, holding his small body flush with yours. Running your fingers through his curls as he snored into your chest, small tracks of drool seeping into your nightshirt. Trembling as you stared at the shadows, dancing across the bedroom from the window. Full moon shining, you could’ve sworn the floor was creaking downstairs, the sound of footsteps climbing towards your room rang in your ears. 

You didn’t sleep that night, staring into your son’s face as he woke. Blinking awake to smile as you, his grin reaching across his face. All the way to his ears, large ears, covered by his almost black waves. His long lashes fluttering as he greeted you, “Hi mama.” 

His eyes. 

Fuck. 

One of them your eye color, shining back at you. But the other, it was his. 

Deep auburn, shining in the sunlight. Daring you to challenge him, defy him, prove him wrong, anything that would allow him to unleash whatever hell lived under his skin. Flowed through his blood, tainting every corner of your psyche. His child, the one you hid from the world. Moving as far away as you could, claiming it was your boyfriends’ child. 

But he knew. 

And Luke was starting to notice. 

“I feel,” you looked at your hands, forcing them into fists to stop them from shaking, “Just fine, he’s not in my life anymore. Just a small chapter in the book of my story, I hope that he finds peace. Wherever he goes.” 

“Peace? For a man that almost killed you multiple times?” 

You nodded, “Yeah, I do. I can’t change who he is, or what he’s done. I can just try as hard as I can to move on. And if being on death row will help him find what he’s looking for then I wish him the best of luck.��� 

She gave you a weird look, shifting in her seat, “Do you think it says anything about his guilt?” 

“Guilt?” 

“Yes, for the past six years he has never acknowledged that he was guilty. Claiming that the jury and witnesses were bought and that you were mentally unstable-making up half the accusations against him. Do you think that him asking for the death penalty is a way of admitting that he was guilty?” 

“Hell no,” you blurted out, eyes going wide at the camera, “Oh-can I swear? I’m so sorry.” 

She laughed you off, “You’re fine, we can blur it out. But you sound so confident? Do you think he believes that he’s done nothing wrong?” 

Now it was your turn to laugh, “Not to repeat myself but, hell no. That man knows, he’s very conscious of his decisions. Everything has a purpose, everything is done for a reason, Ren doesn’t waste his energy on doing something for no benefit.” 

“What would be the benefit of being put on death row?” 

You sighed, thinking about Ren, trying to get into his mindset to see how he could angle the sentencing changing. Letting out a sharp laugh as you rubbed your eyes, “Well-you said it earlier.” 

She looked at you confused. 

“New York doesn’t have the death penalty.” 

New York doesn’t have the death penalty. 

New York doesn’t have the death penalty. 

New York doesn’t have the death penalty. 

“Oh my god,” you whispered, looking around the room frantically. “Oh my god-oh my god-oh my GOD-New York doesn’t have the death penalty!” you screamed, shooting out of the chair. Grasping the reporter by her shoulders and shaking her violently, “He knew! He knew I was coming here! He’s gonna take him!” 

“Miss (Y/N),” the reporters and security officers yelled. Trying to calm you down, but no, she had said it. 

New York doesn’t have the death penalty. 

You ran from the TV station, hailing a cab on the packed streets. Frantically calling your boyfriend over and over, he was at home. Back in Nevada… where the death penalty is legal, with Luke. He wouldn’t pick up, the dial tone ringing three times before his voice sang through the speaker. 

You wailed in the back of the cab, calling everyone you knew back at home. Asking if they could go get Luke from school, if they had seen him that day. Anything to try prove false the sick feeling in your stomach you knew was true. 

Running through airport security as fast as you could, taking the first flight back home. You prayed on the way that your boyfriend had Luke, safe and sound, back at home. Hopefully, curled in his red blanket, snuggling the stuffed animal he got that faithful birthday. 

Even though no one knew where it came from. 

Luke wouldn’t let you get rid of it. 

Claiming his daddy gave it to him. 

You just let him have it, he was three there was no way he would let you take his toy away once he had held it to his chest. Kissing it with his full lips, dragging it around the house every fucking day. It was his best friend, from the moment he saw it. 

You cried on the plane, realizing too late that the gift was from him. 

His real father. 

Watching after his miracle child. 

When you touched down in Las Vegas, your phone blew up. Your stomach flipping as you read through the messages from your boyfriend, explaining that he let your friend pick Luke up from school. The same friend claimed that your boyfriend had picked him up, Luke’s teacher calling to let you know someone in a black Porsche picked him up. 

Whisking away his child from under your nose. 

You choked on your tears as you read the message from his teacher, telling you how happy Luke was when he left. How he ran into your new boyfriend's arms, like he had known him for his entire life. She told you that he had introduced himself, Ben was just the most amazing father figure she had ever met. Stowing away Luke, surrounded by toys and chocolate when she waved them off. 

After you gathered your luggage you walked towards the cabs out front. Stopping cold in your tracks when you saw a chauffeur holding a sign that said your old name. 

Mrs. Ren. 

You climbed in, body feeling numb. 

Your phone dinged, a picture being sent to you from an unknown number. 

A picture of Luke, held tightly against his real father’s chest. Drifting off to sleep in his strong arms that once choked you to death. 

See you at home love, we miss you. 

-----

I wanted baby luke to say something like ‘my daddy visits me at night’ but it was too on the nose. 

TAGLIST: @finn-ray-nal-beads @millenialcatlady @ohdamnadamm  @daydreamsofren @candycanes19 @caelum-phyriina-vermillon @millenialcatlady @safarigirlsp  @caillea @roanniom @insufferablelust @mrs-zimmerman​ 

[horrorslashergirl]

Kinda want a part two of Chromeskull with the tattoo artist!reader. Maybe with her divorcing her husband, starting a relationship with Jesse and getting the tattoo he suggested.

Chromeskull x Tattoo Artist!Reader- Guilty Pleasures Part 2

Authors Note: You asked and you recieved. Part two of this taboo guilty relationship. You simply cannot say no, no to this man.

Part 1 HERE

Warnings: None I can think of.

Words: 1.4k

Were you feeling guilty? Probably. Did you care? Most likely not. Looking into the mirror of your bathroom after a night of stressful sleep and at this very moment, you were glad your husband left earlier for work, not in the mood to put up with anything.

To say that the affair you had with your boss was eating at your mind was a faint understatement because sickly, you enjoyed it a lot and in a more twisted way, you wanted more.

The past week has been a hazardous adventure you weren't looking forward to having, not one bit, especially after your parents-in-law came unannounced, a particular reason you hated them, but at first, you thought that's what everyone feels about their own parents-in-law.

Your husband's father wasn't a problem, surprisingly you didn't mind him, he never criticized you, only talked about the old days and he was as calm as a beach in the winter can be. The problem was your mother-in-law and sometimes you wondered if jail was worth it to get rid of the old hag.

She always spoke well of her son and gave you unwanted advice about how a wife should be. To put it bluntly, she wanted you to be the perfect housewife which in your opinion wasn't a good attribute in your book, but you meant well. You learned to cook better for the sake of this marriage, learned to control your rebellious attitude, which was quite the challenge, but she demanded more and more out of you.

The topic came this week when she came unannounced and she asked when you and her son were going to have a baby. You almost choked on your drink and the answer that your husband gave, made you more anxious.

'Soon.'

Alright, you loved children and the idea of being a mother was a plan in the future, but not with him.

That's why you were looking like a corpse at this moment; ever since that discussion your husband opened the topic of having children with each day, and your answer always was the same.

'In the close future.'

You wanted to escape so badly, but being a divorced woman in society wasn't exactly a big plus and you knew that if it would happen you would be seen as the villain and everyone will probably tag you with words that would drown your self-esteem.

Staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of society. How marvelous!

You grimaced, staying outside on the front porch of your house, taking a deep drag of smoke and exhaling like the nicotine will ease your nerves. It was another late night full of arguments and whatnot with your husband; he seemed to find flaws in each step you took. When the door opened your gaze moved to your husband who had a very serious expression, his arms crossed and you knew he was going to say something.

"I want a divorce." he simply stated, making you raise your eyebrows in surprise. Well, you clearly didn't see that one coming.

After you finished your cigarette and got inside, he told you that there was no point in maintaining this marriage and according to him you were embarrassing him, destroying his image.

Pffff...What image? What reputation?

To say that the divorce went simply was an understatement. You didn't have too much to take from this marriage, the house was his, the car too, you just had your little belongings and that was it. He was just surprised that you didn't want to undress him of money or any winning.

The ultimate prize of this divorce was that you will be finally free; no more critiques, no more useless arguments over the smallest things in life.

You were back at work at one of Jesse's warehouses, inking up one of his henchmen, when the door opened and the tall and imposing form of your boss was blocking the door. The guy you were tattooing quickly got up and left the two of you alone; smart guy.

'I'd heard about your divorce.' the electronic voice spoke and you internally groaned.

"The rumors are really floating here quickly, huh?" you asked, not really surprised. Jesse had a habit of knowing every small detail of his employees.

'You're finally free.' he stated, a sentence that the intentions were clearly; reminding you that this is what you bragged about wanting before you two went at it like rabbits.

"Yes, but I don't feel like it."

'How come?'

"Well, his family hates my guts, all of our friends took his part and pretty much labeled me as a 'whore'....I don't know...How would you feel?" you asked, arms crossed and eyebrow raised, your mood clearly not a good one.

'I'm a widower.'

Ouch, that hit a nerve and he was right. He lost much more than you, not to mention being just inches from dying.

"Sorry. I'm just....I didn't know how hard a divorce can fuck up one's self-esteem." you said, sitting down and running a hand through your hair.

One brown eye looked curiously at you, then he closed the door, stepping towards you, his huge hand cupping your cheek, making you look at him.

'Do I have to remind you how beautiful and amazing you are?' 

You knew he was just trying to cheer you up, pull you up from the shreds and ashes your now ex-husband created, but why? Jesse wasn't being nice without a reason, you weren't one of these guidable piggies he either fucked or killed or both. The man was the vainest person you knew, even with his face the result it is today, he could pull off the drop-dead charming casanova attitude with ease.

"You don't have to lose your time trying to cheer me up." you muttered, only for your nose to be caught between two of his fingers, making you squeak a little, making him smirk, fingers typing on the phone.

'What if I want to spend all the time with you, dollface?'

Alright, that was new. He never showed interest in you, and that affair you had with him was something that you would classify it was accidental and desperate, something you didn't want to happen again....But you're divorced now, right? Single, free and to do as you please.

"Don't say things you don't mean.....plus this is..." you didn't know exactly what to say.

'Wrong?' he signed, looking at you with amusement.

'Correct me if I'm wrong, but....when you were married you didn't found it wrong to jump my dick.' he typed on the phone, a smug look on his scarred face at the expression you made when you read his response.

"I-I didn't-" you quickly said, only to be stopped, when he spun you around, pinning you against the cold wall of the room, a silent snarl pulling at his lips, giving you a glimpse of the predator that he truly was inside.

'Pleeeeease...Don't act like such a prude.' he types on the phone with one hand, the other slowly running up your waist, dragging your shirt up, exposing more skin with each inch his hand was running up.

You were left speechless; no wonder all these piggies were falling on their knees for him, he wasn't one to be denied, to be said 'no' to.

"You're my boss!" you said, feeling your cheeks heat up at his obscene suggestions.

He snorted in your response, rolling his brown eye.

'You're one to bring up moralities now? You cheated on your husband with your boss...and you liked it.' he typed, his body moving to be flush against yours, feeling how excited he was, not like you were any different down with how moist your panties got from all the sexual tension.

'You're just as fucked up as I am...Not that I mind one bit.' he typed, another flash of pearly white pulled into an arrogant grin.

"P-Please..." you didn't know what you begged for.

Were you begging for him to stop this charade or were you begging for him to finish this nonsense?

'You were mine from the moment you spread your legs for me.'

Oh God, this was so humiliating.

Your eyes were wide open, looking up at him, both breaths heavy, then the lips came crashing together into a needy and passionate kiss.

It was true, you were his....The moment you took up on his advice and inked your whole arm into the tattoo he suggested.

Skulls and Roses.

[sallyannthearts]

Netflix Series ‘Sex/Life’ Review

*Spoiler Alert* 

So I don't know why I even started the series. Was tired, couldn't focus on anything and decided 'Hey, let's watch something 'guilty pleasure' worthy (think Twilight... etc). The premise of the series seemed interesting enough so I went with it.

Watch it for the sex? 

It's okay. Some parts were rather steamy contrary to what other critics said. 

And yes, there was A LOT of sex. The beginning few episodes even felt like a soft porno with all the stereotypical ideas of sex locations played out. I managed to get to the infamous shower scene where you see Brad's huge thingy (it was kinda the reason why I continued at first); and no, it wasn't as shocking to me as Billie's face portrayed when she sees 'it' for the 1000th time via Facetime (What a choice of acting..., though she's not as bad most of the time. I actually found her acting rather touching and teared up for her character a few times.) 

The Debate of Sex vs Life: 

Actually there is a good debatable subject to the whole series. The one about whether someone who gives you the same stability in a relationship can give you the same summer fling butterflies forever. It also questions the younger self who's reckless and the older one tied down to responsabilities, choice or not. 

Of course, no surprise, nobody has the answer. But they could have done a rather good series around the subject. 

But no...  the ending of the series makes it clear that her happy married life -her husband looks like Captain America with six packs and all, she's rich too- can't ever be enough. And sure, it's her POV and her life. But the build up towards it was not good. It left viewers - as one critic put it- depressed of both sex and life after watching it. HAHA. 

The show portrays married life to be dead, despite trying to show the cute kids (who as one critic put it- is rather scary... and I have to agree on this one). They put Billie in suburbia with typical desperate housewives... of course it's a no brainer! 

I guess you gotta take a step back and let the ending be one only for Billie because of her situation and her location. I think she should have just left suburbia to work out a better life with her- personally I find hotter than the ex- husband. Why do you need so much space in that mansion where you barely spend time anyway? 

Too bad for the ex: 

Sure, he gets her back at the end... physically. But he will never get the family he wants. Halfway through the show, you learn that Brad is a typical badboy because of childhood traumas. He finally dares to go see his real father and magically works out his shit years later. He comes back to ask her to marry him since he now understands it all... She turns him down because she's so into her family. She comes back to his doorstep at the last minute. She tells him 'I will never leave my husband.' but... 'Fuck me now.' Ouch. Poor dude is only ever be good for one thing. The Writing / Acting: Okay, some parts were... But generally, I think with what the actors were given, they did quite a good job. I wouldn't slam them for their acting as many critics have done. And god, not especially when you have to film so many sex scenes in public, dieting the rest of the time off screen for that hot bod. Like I said, I even teared up for Billie a few times. Sure, I'm very sensitive but still! 

Watch it? 

Hmm, for the controversy surrounding it... If you're braindead and just wanna bingewatch something quickly. It's 8 episodes of 40 minutes or so.

[coll2mitts]

#77 Grease (1978)

Slick your hair back and grab your team jacket, we’re hand-jiving our way through Grease, a movie about bunch of hot, self-motivated ladies with their whole futures ahead of them settling for a bunch of schmucks.

Grease is a strange experience to relive as an adult, because it was (as I suspect with a lot of people) ever-present in my childhood, and I didn’t understand the great majority of references then.  This movie was intended as an 8th birthday present from my mother; I came home from school one day and the VHS was sitting on our kitchen countertop unwrapped.  I didn’t recognize it, so when I asked my mom what it was, she feigned confusion for about 10 seconds before she gave up and said, “I bought it for your birthday, I guess you get it early now.”  She promised me I’d like it when I popped it into the VHS player, and she wasn’t wrong.  I hadn’t watched this movie in over a decade and I still could recite the majority of the dialogue.

While this movie is a toned down significantly from the stage show, it is still fairly raunchy in parts.  What is kind of hilarious to me is Grease’s gradual shift in categorization over time as a “kids musical”.  In 5th grade, my sister played Sandy in her elementary school’s production of it.  I asked if she remembered any of the lines they changed to keep things “appropriate” (the Kidz Bopification, if you will) and she responded, “No, I just thought it was weird I had to go out and buy a sexy outfit.”  Conversely, my 5th grade play was about the history of America and I dressed up like Martha Washington.  I’ll never forget the 50 Nifty United States from 13 original colonies... SHOUT ‘em, SCOUT ‘em, TELL all about 'em, ONE BY ONE till we’ve given a day to every state in the U-S-A.  AL-A-bama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, CON-NE-TI-CUT...

Anyway, do I think it’s weird that a movie about a bunch of horny teenagers has become Baby’s First Adult Musical?  Sorta.  Not really.  I mean, the dudes act like children for the majority of this, so I’m not surprised, at least.  It had, for sure, turned me off from wanting to date high school dudes when I was in high school.  The high school girls, however... we’ll get there.

It’s the first day of school, and the oldest high school seniors I’ve ever seen are poised to take on their last year at Rydell High.  The “T” Birds and their very uncool matching jackets are reunited after a summer apart and their super-senior leader Kenickie, played by the late Jeff Conaway, regales the tale of lugging boxes to earn money for a sweet ride, which you could feasibly do back in the 1950s.  Danny, played by John Travolta, spent his summer getting action at the beach, which he eloquently describes as “flippin’”.  

Frenchy and her new neighbor Sandy rendezvous with the Pink Ladies, who have very cool matching jackets and the unabashed confidence to go with them.  Stockard Channing, who plays Rizzo, is turned off by Sandy’s pure, seemingly holier-than-thou persona, and is dismayed when Sandy starts to describe her sickly sweet summer romance.  Her interest is only piqued when Sandy mentions her hunky date was notorious playboy and Rizzo’s ex, Danny Zuko.  

Sidenote: When I was a child, I thought Sonny asked if her “jugs were bigger than her nets”.  I asked my mother what “nets” were, since I surmised that jugs meant breasts, and she didn’t know, which I thought was weird.  It wasn’t until THIS MOMENT that I realized he was asking if her jugs were bigger than Annette’s.  Who the fuck is Annette?  Like the Mickey Mouseketeer Annette?!  Rizzo sings about her later and I’m just like.. this revelation has lead to more questions than answers.

Rizzo hatches a plan to call Danny out on his shit and reunite Sandy with Danny at the school pep rally, as they know her boyfriend is an asshat.  He predictably reacts maturely; Not wanting to admit his previous story of getting fresh with some cute Australian girl down in the sand was somewhat hyperbolic, he plays it off like he doesn’t give a shit about her, reducing Sandy to tears.  Frenchy comforts Sandy like the supportive queen that she is and invites her to join the Pink Ladies at a sleepover.

Honestly, a Pink Ladies sleepover looks lit as fuck.  As a kid (and now, tbh) I was Jan, I wanted to be Marty, I wanted to fuck Rizzo, and I wanted Frenchy as my best friend.  I would totally be down to drink champagne, eat Twinkies and mutilate our body parts with needles.  Sandy is a bit of a late bloomer and reacts to these series of events by puking.  Rizzo decides to be a bit of a slag and make fun of Sandy for being an inexperienced virgin before shimming down a drainpipe to get laid by some jerk with a shitty car and a 6-year-old condom.

Sandy, whose night has done nothing to alleviate her heartbreak, sings a song about being in love with a coward.  Part of the deal Oliva Newton-John signed to be cast in this movie specified she have her own solo number, so “Hopelessly Devoted” was written and filmed after the rest of the movie had been completed.  This feel pretty obvious, since it gives off a very strong 1970s pop Best Original Song vibe.  When I was a kid, I used this song as a break to use the bathroom or grab a snack, but as an adult I find myself humming it every so often.

Speaking of contract-obligated solos, we’re treated to a Travolta-led “Greased Lightning”, which I always thought was weird, cause like, who is going to sing a song about their friend getting tit in their sweet car?  Jeff Conaway played Danny on Broadway, he deserved better...  Also, I’m CONVINCED this song got the Pop-Up Video treatment, but couldn’t find it online anywhere.  Otherwise, how the hell else would the fact that they thought John Travolta putting the saran wrap on his crotch was too racy live rent free in my head for like 20 years?

After encountering Sandy on a date with a jock, Danny decides he’s going to join a sports team to prove to her he can be a motivated team player.  Instead, he just physically assaults several members of his school, but it’s fine because he’s wearing a uniform when he does it.  This is enough to impress Sandy, as she accepts Danny’s invitation to the school dance.

The other gang members are going through their own drama, as Rizzo is sick of giving it up to Kenickie without receiving a modicum of respect.  

“A hickey from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card.  When you care enough to send the very best.”

Danny regresses and continues to act like a shithead to Sandy in front of her friends.

“I don’t like tea.” “You don’t have to drink tea!” “Well, I don’t like parents.”

Jan and Putzie begin an innocent and adorable romance, which proves it’s possible to start off a relationship with mutual respect, even if your friends make fun of you for it.

“I also think there’s more to you than just fat.” “...Thanks.”

I love this scene, there’s so many good lines.

Frenchy, who had dropped out of Rydell to pursue a career in cosmetology, is also in crisis as her stint in beauty school went very poorly.  After hours, she somehow hallucinates Frankie Avalon advising her to get her high school degree.

As a child, I was so proud of myself when I realized all these women played other roles in the movie, as if facial recognition was an important skill.

The day of the big dance finally arrives, as National Bandstand comes to Rydell High with roofie-wielding predator and television host Vince Fontaine.  Rizzo arrives with the leader of the rival gang, while Kenickie has his best girl, Cha Cha, as his date, because they are both very well-adjusted teenagers that know how to work through conflict by communicating and not using desperate attempts to make each other jealous.  Danny and Sandy are cutting up a rug until Sonny attempts to physically assault Sandy, and Danny just lets it happen because another one of his exes, Cha Cha, starts to dance with him while Sandy is rebuffing Sonny’s advances.  Cha Cha and Danny subsequently win the contest.  Honestly, this is so fucked up, I would have dropped Danny after this lapse of good judgement.

But no, Sandy still allows him to take her on a date to the drive-in, and it’s not until he elbows her in the boob and then tries to cop a feel in front of everybody that she finally blows him off.  Then he has the absolute gall to act emo about it because he’s afraid people will think he’s a loser.  Jesus Christ.

Kenickie is also hurting, as he discovers that Rizzo is pregnant and she doesn’t want anything to do with him, regardless of what being an unwed mother will do to her reputation.  He decides to process these emotions by racing Greased Lighting for pink slips, as he likes to live his life a quarter mile at a time.  Unfortunately, Danny steals Kenickie’s thunder (road) yet again, as he’s forced to take his place in the race because of a car door-related closed head injury.  Sandy is impressed by Danny’s driving skillz and decides to sex herself up for an unreliable and emotionally manipulative teenager.  Danny has a similar inclination and decides to put on a nice sweater to win Sandy back, which is something, I guess.  They declare they’re the one each other needs, oh yes indeed.

The school year ends, and all the boys end up paired with the girls.  Rizzo finds out she’s not pregnant and reunites with Kenickie?!  Marty ends up with Sonny even though he’s a handsy creep.  Danny and Sandy are just an mess with incompatible expectations of each other.  But at least Jan and Putzie and Frenchy and Doodie are fairly inoffensive.  The end.

This movie is great, even all these years later.  The entire cast is fantastic, even those with smaller bit parts.  I was *living* for the school staff, Principal McGee and Coach Calhoun especially.  Grease also jump started my lifelong love for Stockard Channing.  She’s great in The West Wing, but her part as Sister Husband in Where the Heart Is may be my favorite performance of hers.  I’ve watched that movie so many times I can’t even call it a guilty pleasure, I love it so much.

Olivia Newton-John wasn’t even sure she wanted to be in this movie and requested a screen test so she could see if she was good at acting.  John Travolta was enamored with her and helped convince Olivia she was perfect for the part, and he wasn’t wrong.  She gives such a strong performance as Sandy; I bought her transformation from clean-cut cinnamon roll to sexpot completely.  John Travolta was also unbelievably charming as Danny, and I found myself giggling at his line deliveries constantly.

The songs are also unbelievably catchy (albeit somewhat annoying after you’ve heard them 700 times).  Barry Gibb, my favorite Pras-adjacent composer, wrote the theme for the movie and it just bops so hard.  As a well-documented detractor of Doo Wop music, there’s not a whole lot else here for me, but that’s not going to blind me to the excellence of this soundtrack.  There is a reason this movie is revered as much as it is.  10/10, fun for the whole family, as long as the kids don’t understand the references.

[fweeble]

Mafia Romcom (1/?)

Title: None Fandom: SVSSS Pairing(s): LBHxSY, LQGxSY, LBHxLQG, YQYxSQQ Warnings: unrealistic mafia, badly written romcom, unbeta’d Summary: Cang Qiong’s Shen Yuan has been kidnapped. His brother, Shen Qingqiu is in a frenzy. Liu Qingge and Cang Qiong’s greatest enemy, Luo Binghe, are determined to rescue him.  A/N: Thank you @freykugel, my favorite cannibal oniisan, for being patient with me and even reading some of it despite knowing fuck all about SVSSS, xianxia, and everything else. You are the best hyung I could ever ask for. This is what happens when the world is batshit insane, I’m allowed to play Piofiore and read yakuza manga, and know fuck-all about the Chinese Triad.

Liu Qingge is welcomed into the building with the muffled sounds of Shen Qingqiu shouting. A harassed looking underling bows, offering strained apologies and offering to bring breakfast up to his office soon. It isn’t the first time that Shen Qingqiu has thrown a fit that has shaken the Cang Qiong mansion to its foundation and it likely won’t be the last. No matter how soundproof Yue Qingyuan tries to make every room in the mansion, Shen Qingqiu’s voice carries. For a moment, Liu Qingge entertains the idea of tendering his resignation. When he reaches his office, all that will be waiting for him are piles of paperwork and an endless revolving door of men making their reports for their day. No matter how loyal he is to Cang Qiong, he feels his grip on his sanity bleed out through his ears with every tick of the clock as he is stuck behind a desk. He has done enough that he should be able to retire, surely? Weathering the continued existence of Shen Qingqiu is far and beyond his job description. Trading in a desk for freelance work is a daydream that helps Liu Qingge pass the tedium of his current position more often than he’d like to admit. Enough of his men have looked terrified during their daily reports as he silently sharpened Cheng Luan for word to spread that Cang Qiong’s head enforcer likes to threaten his underperforming underlings with the sword. Liu Mingyan had burst into laughter when the rumor had finally reached her. It keeps his men on his toes, so he lets it be. (If he imagines throwing himself out the nearest window, Cheng Luan in hand, and making a break for freedom, far, far away from paperwork and the endless droning of reports, no one but Liu Mingyan needs to know this. Everyone is allowed to dream.) Yue Qingyuan, as ill-suited to the mafia life as any leader can be, would likely let him leave with minimal fuss and no demands for recompense. If anything, Liu Qingge suspects Yue Qingyuan may actually send him off with a farewell party. Everyone knows how often Liu Qingge’s the trigger of one of Shen Qingqiu’s infamous temper tantrums behind closed doors. As excellent as Liu Qingge is at his job, Yue Qingyuan would be relieved to have Shen Qingqiu’s Most Hated Enemy #2 out of the way. After all, even the boss’s husband would have a difficult time throwing out one of Cang Qiong’s inner circle without good reason. It may have been easy to get rid of Luo Binghe, who had no reputation, power, or influence to his name, but the Liu Clan has a long and illustrious history, influence, power, and more money than it knows what to do with. Getting on the clan’s bad side would cause Cang Qiong more headache than Shen Qingqiu in all his righteous fury can. Shen Qingqiu’s voice ratchets up another dozen decibels. Liu Qingge thinks he can make out a few of the words. He signs a few more documents, checks the clock, and considers taking a break before the first of his men reports. Tea with Shen Yuan in the garden sounds appealing. He straightens his hair, smooths any wrinkles out of his waistcoat and resists licking his lips nervously. Maybe he should drop by the bathroom before visiting Shen Yuan’s office, make sure he is presentable. Don’t be stupid, he tells himself, even as he feels himself flushing. Five years working with the man and he still has all the dignity of a three year old when it comes to Shen Yuan. Shen Qingqiu’s voice continues to get louder. He’s nearly at the door when it is thrown open by Shen Qingqiu who proceeds to brush him aside. Yue Qingyuan sweeps in after his husband, shooting Liu Qingge a pitying look as he politely shuts the door behind him. If only he hadn’t taken the half-second to fix his hair, he despairs. He could’ve been long gone before Shen Qingqiu decided to descend like a plague of locusts. “Find him!” Shen Qingiu roars as he paces back and forth in Liu Qingge’s office, hair in disarray and face surprisingly pale. “Who?” Liu Qingge grunts as he reluctantly returns to his seat. “Shen Yuan!” Shen Qingiu slams his hand down on Liu Qingge’s desk, sending papers flying. The monitor shakes ominously, threatening to fall. Liu Qingge eyes the splintered surface and feels his own rage building. Until the name sinks in. He can feel the blood drain from his face as well. He turns to Yue Qingyuan who looks uncharacteristically strained. “Explain,” he demands. ---- In between the shouting and Cheng Luan being threateningly brandished against an inconsolable and raging Shen Qingqiu, Liu Qingge has understood three things: 1. Shen Yuan has gone missing. He is not answering his phone. The app Shen Qingqiu had secretly installed on his phone isn’t working. He cannot be located. 2. Shen Yuan was last seen the night before, wishing his brother good night before retreating to his quarters. 3. Shen Qingqiu is convinced Luo Binghe has him. Liu Qingge hates agreeing with Shen Qingqiu about anything. They once got into an argument over the weather because he couldn’t bring himself to agree with the other man. But Liu Qingge can’t help but agree that if Shen Yuan has gone missing, the prime suspect is his ex-disciple Luo Binghe. It’s no secret how much Luo Binghe desires his old teacher. Which is why Liu Qingge wastes no time in delegating his duties to Yang Yixuan and marching over to Huan Hua’s estate and demanding a meeting with Luo Binghe. He had told Yue Qingyuan not to worry, had explained that it would just be an exploratory meeting. It had been clear Yue Qingyuan hadn’t believed him, but Liu Qingge doesn’t feel too guilty about breaking into Huan Hua and raiding the estate. If Luo Binghe has Shen Yuan, he’d keep him close. Shen Yuan will definitely be on the premises. If Shen Yuan isn’t there, then that’s one suspect off the list. It isn’t his job to play detective, anyways. If either Yue Qingyuan or Shen Qingqiu had expected subterfuge or delicacy in handling the situation, they shouldn’t have turned to him, the head of Cang Qiong’s hitmen. They could have turned to Qing Qi and her hand picked spies or even sent some of Shen Yuan’s own grifters to put out feelers and gather information. One does not take out a hammer when precision work is necessary. If anyone is at fault, it’s Shen Qingqiu’s fault for demanding Liu Qingge to find his brother. (Liu Qingge ignores the Liu Mingyan in his head that giggles at his flimsy excuses. He’s absolutely not as emotionally compromised as Shen Qingqiu is. He’s making perfectly sound decisions. What else had they expected a trained assassin to do? He can’t smile and make small talk, tricking a target into exposing sensitive information like Shen Yuan does. What he can do is kill a man in seventeen different ways with his bare hands while blindfolded and shoot moving target with pinpoint accuracy at over six hundred meters. His only skills are beating people for information and killing people for information. He’s just playing to his strengths.) He tosses one terrified looking Huan Hua thug out a window and points Cheng Luan at another before taking a deep breath and hollering. “LUO BINGHE. COME OUT!” He waits one second, then two. After the third, he angrily incapacitates the terrified flunky hiding behind a potted plant and takes the stairs up. Wading through the endless waves of Huan Hua trash that come crawling out like cockroaches, Liu Qingge does his best to avoid permanently injuring or killing any of them. There’s no reason to start a war if Shen Yuan isn’t here. (But he is; he definitely is.) After half an hour of crushing every person who even tries to stop him, Liu Qingge makes it to a heavy set of doors. Luo Binghe’s office. “Luo Binghe!” The man in question sits behind his gleaming rosewood desk, Sha Hualing perched on the end of it, twirling her hair. Luo Binghe smiles thinly at Liu Qingge. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” he asks lightly. “I never expected the great War God of Cang Qiong to visit Huan Hua.” Liu Qingge twitches. “Return Shen Yuan,” he commands, Cheng Luan still pointed at Luo Binghe. Luo Binghe’s smile gets sharper, “If Shizun has had enough of Cang Qiong and wishes to be with his dearest disciple, I see why I should send him back.” “No reason?” Liu Qingge resists stabbing the smug bastard immediately. “Is death not enough motivation?” “Death?” Luo Binghe laughs lowly, “I’m not the one courting it.” Sha Hualing rolls her eyes, rising from the desk with smooth grace. “I’ll go check on our...products,” she says as she leaves, shooting Luo Binghe a look that speaks thousands of words, all of them which make Liu Qingge turn crimson. “Shameless!” He bites out, head turning from Sha Hualing’s retreating back to Luo Binghe, before swiveling right back. “Shameless!” He repeats, face hotter than it should be. Luo Binghe retrieves Xin Mo from its place of honor on the wall even as he taunts Liu Qingge, “Cheng Luan, really? Is Cang Qiong so old fashioned that even its War God brings outdated weaponry to battle?” “As if the peashooters your men had were of any use,” Liu Qingge snorts. No gun, no matter how powerful it is, is dead weight in the hands of the incompetent. “You know as well as I do how useful good steel can be,” he continues as Luo Binghe draws Xin Mo. There’s a heartbeat as they both size each other up. Liu Qingge readjusts his stance, eyes Luo Binghe’s shifting his grip on Xin Mo. They’re about to strike, when the doors slam open. “BOSS! Shen Yuan has been kidnapped!” Liu Qingge’s murderous rage shifts. “SHANG QINGHUA!” Shang Qinghua stands in the doorway to Luo Binghe’s office, eyes wide. He trembles. “L-L-Liu Qingge?” He stammers. “BOSS?” Liu Qingge repeats, pointing Cheng Luan at the suddenly stiff Luo Binghe. “LUO BINGHE?” If it were possible, Shang Qinghua would probably melt through the floor. “Kidnapped?” Luo Binghe repeats, voice dangerously low. Shang Qinghua shivers more. He looks on the verge of tears. “Explain. Now.”

[plush-anon]

after many hours spent pausing the show bc good lord why did they do that, i have now finished Love Never Dies

annnnnd yikes 😬😬😬

I’ll start with the few positives I did enjoy from the recorded Australian production on Youtube:

1.) the camera work. This is the kind of thing I dream of for professionally recorded shows - it really allows for some lovely close-up shots of how the emotions play over their faces, it’s lush

2.) the costumes are well-crafted, and I desperately Want the Phantom’s long-ass swooshy trenchcoat cape thing he wore for the first half-hour 

3.) the sets used throughout this are honestly very impressively used and put together for some really fantastic shots

4.) the opening, with ‘Til’ I Hear You Sing Once More’. This song is honestly very lovely, and really articulates the Phantom’s loss and heartache for Christine. It’s sung very earnestly, and had the rest of the show been more like this I might have liked it more. 

5.) the Fucking Song, ‘Beneath a Moonless Sky’, is a guilty pleasure. It’s so over the top, and it is only about recounting that One Time they totally banged yo, and I love it. I think it’s the orchestration, but it’s also enjoyably silly even while it takes itself 100% serious. 

6.) As much as I hate to say this? ‘Devil Take the Hindmost’. While I hate the gist of the song - that being Raoul and Erik betting on who Christine will choose, and pretty much deciding for her who will get to be her one true love forever, completely negating the entire point of the OF musical where her choice was the most important factor for all of them - the pacing and the lyrics as they dance around each other are absolutely fantastic. It’s kind of sad to say, but Raoul and the Phantom, in this scene alone, display more chemistry in their singing than they do with anyone else. Let the hatefcuking commence~

7.) Some parts of ‘The Beauty Underneath’ I enjoy, particularly the ending scene where the Phantom is trying to talk Meg down. It’s very slow, melodic, and shows his more manipulative side, as well as how he can crawl into someone’s head, I love it. 

8.) This very interesting visual with a mirror in Christine’s dressing room. There are two separate scenes where someone is in the mirror singing. The first is the Phantom, between Raoul and Christine. The second is Raoul between the Phantom and Christine. It’s honestly a nice touch.

9.) The main three are excellent singers. 

 Unfortunately, that’s all on the list of what I liked. Everything else is a Giant Fcuking Mess. 

1.) The Phantom is no longer a complex, messed-up, but still somewhat sympathetic character, no; this is just a giant asshole who takes everyone for granted and barely realizes that anyone else exists except Christine, and even then only really as his personal instrument. 

He never actually apologizes to Christine for the shit he’s put her through and continues to put her through, but still demands obedience and forgiveness and understanding. It completely negates the entire point of POTO’s ending, where he actually realizes he’s done wrong by her and his actions pertaining her, and lets her go from his world entirely, and RESPECTING HER CHOICES AND LEAVING HER ALONE. 

Not to mention This Bitch also threatens to kidnap/possible “lose” her child if she doesn’t sing for him, keeps pushing her around and telling her what to do, and manipulating her life to change her decisions for her. 

AND HE’S FRAMED AS THE BETTER OPTION HERE

2.) Which reminds of me of the next big asshat: Raoul de Chagny, who has now become an alcoholic gambler who pushes his wife to do things she’s not comfortable doing to repay his debts, neglects his son entirely, and also is abrasive and controlling of Christine, to the point he yanks her back and forth on doing shit. Play this role! We should leave bc he was an asshole! No now we should leave bc Phantom is back! No take the role he’s paying triple! I’ll make a bet on whether she loves me to pay my debts! No wait you should quit ten minutes before you go on-stage bc I don’t want to lose you! MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND YOU MISERABLE PISSANT SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Like I can understand being overprotective to a certain degree, which could eventually morph into being controlling. But neglecting your son, your wife, drinking and gambling your fortune away? ALL of that?!? Really???

Shouldn’t he be desperate to keep his wife and son close to him at all times after the events of POTO? Never leave, never go anywhere, only do what’s safe? You COULD have set this up as a continuation of Safety versus Freedom with Raoul and the Phantom, show the good and bad of both and have her choose from there. Show the dichotomies and hypocrisies of both men’s standards. 

But nope! We’re just totes gonna make the husband like this for no goddamn reason, especially since Raoul doesn’t start suspecting that Gustave (his son) isn’t really his until Devil Take the Hindmost. He’s just that much of an idiot!

3.) The presence of Madame Giry and Meg Giry. Oh gods, where to even begin? They’re pretty much only here so that Sir Andy doesn’t have to make new characters with different backstories and motivations and introduce them accordingly. Nope! Now both women are blaming Christine for leaving the Phantom Man-Baby, and talking about everything they sacrificed to help him make his stupid-ass circus, and talking about how they love him and GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Madame Giry in the POTO musical YOU LED RAOUL DIRECTLY TO THE PHANTOM’S LAIR SO HE COULD RESCUE CHRISTINE WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW SHE BETRAYED HIM

And, oh, Meg... she reaaaaaaaaaaaaally got the short end of the stick here. I just... poor dear, she was horribly treated in this. 

Neither of them deserved to be like this, honestly. 

4.) Christine, to a lesser extent. Experienced Literal Character Assassination, forced to choose between two horrible options, stripped of her agency entirely, used as a bet in a game between said two horrible options, lied to and dragged around constantly, should have taken Gustave and run off with Meg to run a music store together. Fcuk you Sir Andy, for using POTO characters to act out your bitterness and frustration at your ex. 

5.) The entirety of the whole Boardwalk Circus schtick, spawning an additional Fuck You to Frederick Forsythe, who thought this was a tenable option for the story to progress. 

6.) The Phantom’s deformity was literally just four lines drawn onto his face with crayon and some smeared lipstick:

what even the fcuk, you couldn’t make the make-up crayon drawing more detailed??? take more than ten minutes to draw it on???

I never thought I would say this, but even the 2004 film’s depiction was better than this! At least that one partially drew from a real medical condition, Sturge-Weber Syndrome. What the fcuk is your excuse LND?!?

7.)  The Lyrics. Oh gods, the lyrics. Some songs were decent, mostly the ones I listed up top. But the rest? Did someone forget to give the writer a more advanced/creative guide to rhyming lyrics? I wrote better shit in middle school than Glenn Slater did for the majority of these lyrics. 

Glenn my dude, what the fcuk is this nonsense? You’ve written good shit like the Tangled songs and stuff for Galavant! Why are you writing worse than an angst-ridden middle schooler? It is immensely frustrating, to say the least. 

8.) The really WEIRD direction in acting. No one here acts like they know how to move their arms or hands naturally; there’s a lot of really odd and unnecessary gesturing that makes it look like everyone has just had their limbs replaced with faulty robotic arms. There’s also a lot of leaning the characters do, with their arms perfectly straight by their side and it just looks wrong. 

9.) The Phantom’s pseudonym is Mr. Y. No, they never explain why it is he chose that particular moniker. 

10.) Bathing Beauty. Just... all of it, here, tied to POTO, present and here. 

11.) It’s been exactly 10 years since Christine saw/banged the Phantom, and her son is precisely 10 years old. 

That’s... not how pregnancy works. At all. 

12.) This weird scene with the American press, where they are absolutely obsessed with Christine, despite the facts they present, such as:

- She hasn’t performed in 10 years anywhere. 

- She was a French performer, and

- She only starred in three operas at the Populaire (Hannibal, Il Muto, and Don Juan Triumphant, which wasn’t even finished. So technically 2.2 operas that we know of). 

Why, precisely, would American reporters be so obsessed with her upon hearing she’s coming? I could see some interest given the whole shebang with the Phantom, but after 10 years of radio silence, would she really garner an entire crowd of reporters and photographers... in America, no less? 

France I could definitely see. America? Not so much. 

13.) Gustave is a flat, generic kid character, who apparently is totes the Phantom’s son because... he can play the piano well. And also has the same ideas of music as the Phantom, despite never being taught about them, or discussed such things with his mother. 

Is musical talent only inherited through the father’s side of the family in this universe? I mean, we never learn about Christine’s mother, just her famous violinist father. Otherwise, why is it Gustave’s musical talent isn’t attributed to - oh, I don’t know - HIS FAMOUS OPERA SINGER MOTHER?!?

14.) Apparently the Phantom is also now the one who invented cars OH I MEAN “horseless carriages” 🙄 A carriage with no engine and a “ghost horse” appears, and everyone is just fcuking stunned by this, like they’ve never seen a vehicle move without a horse before. In 1907. 22 years after the first functional automobile was invented. Ugh. 

15.) seriously tho who thought basing a sequel on the Frederick Forsythe novel was a good idea why did nobody think to stop him apart from Sir Andy’s pet cat Otto. why.

16) The Phantom’s interactions with Gustave are distinctly creepy and unsettling. I keep getting pedo vibes from him and I Do Not Like It.

17.) The death scene at the end is so goddamn over-the-top and out of nowhere I just want to throw something, ugh

18.) And finally, my last gripe with this mess: This takes place in 1907, and declares that it’s ten years after the original musical. Despite the fact that the OG took place in 1885. Yippy skippy. 😑

I can honestly say I am Not a Fan of this musical as a whole, mostly based on the plot and the character assassinations (one quite literal) and the poor lyrics. I can admire the camera work, the basic singing ability, the scenery and costumes, and maybe two or three songs. But I just do not enjoy it. It took me two days to finish watching it because I kept cringing from what shit kept happening, and had to walk around and listen to other shit to get it out of my head. 

HOWEVER: People do enjoy this one on the sake of it being so bad and over-the-top, and I can honestly see the whys. It helps that most of the cast can sing, and the orchestration is done well. There’s a TON of stupid to mock, and a lot of over-the-top awkwardness to laugh at. This is a good one to watch and mock with friends, IMO. 

For those of you who do enjoy it, I’m afraid I have to disagree on most of it. Still, it is nice being able to watch this one for free, even if it is a giant hot mess.

And that’s all for me on this one! Have a good week guys!

[doof-doofblog]

"You Murdered Your Wife!"

Christmas Week Review

(Episodes Commencing Tuesday 22nd December 2020 - Saturday 26th December 2020!)

Hello everyone! I'm sure it's been a hot minute since I last posed, I hope you all had a brilliant week and a brilliant Christmas! This blog post is going to be a little different, there's quite a bit I've missed recently due to working over the Christmas period and also seeing family. So instead of posting a post about an individual episode, I'm going cover the whole Christmas run up and reveal in this one post! I hope it'll give me the opportunity to catch up with you and enjoy our discussions revolving around recent events.

So firstly, I'm going to start with Honey's Community Christmas Dinner! After all her hard work of bringing everyone together and putting on a fabulous Christmas dinner for the community, disaster strikes when the fridge stops working, causing all the food to be all ruined! Only of course, Jay is there to save the day, it's clear he's been swooning over her for months now and what better way to win her over than to gather together some last minute prepared food and to add the icing on the top, announce to their neighbours how much of a wonderful woman she is! During the festivities everyone is dancing in the street, whilst other locals including Denise, Jack, Bernadette and Patrick eat and drink and be merry. Also I just want to mention how hilarious Kim was, arriving drunk and throwing up through out the day and eventually getting up for a boogie with the rest of the locals. The day ended on a high when Jay and Honey were left in the kitchen cleaning everything up, only things got a bit hot when Billy caught them kissing! (We all knew it was going to happen eventually!) Elsewhere, Tina had been released on bail after being charged with Ian's attempted murder, however when a brick is thrown through the Queen Vic window, warning Ian that things are not yet over, Ian comes to believe that Tina is not behind his attack, as Gray and Shirley both vouch for Tina being at home at the time when the brick was thrown! Also, Max proposes the idea to Linda of doing a runner and leaving together for New Zealand, he claims that he fully believed Linda attacked Ian and reveals that he got rid of the murder weapon, thinking he was doing it to save Linda! Only when Linda announces that she's not responsible for Ian's attack, he worries that if the police find out about the Lucy Beale Award, he could be sent down for a crime he didn't do!! He's convinced that Linda loves him as much as he loves her, he tries to persuade her, mentioning that Mick doesn't show her any form of love or intimacy anymore!

--

After witnessing Honey and Jay locking lips, Billy is clearly devastated, he feels betrayed that the boy he brought up as his own and his ex-wife have been intimate behind his back. He's completely and utterly heartbroken that they could've done this to him! They catch up with him and promise that their kiss never meant anything! Even though by the looks in their faces, deep down you can tell they both have feelings towards one another. They give their word to Billy that it was a terrible mistake and it'll never happen again, to which he responds that if it ever does, both Jay and Honey will be dead to him! I do doubt though however that Jay and Honey will struggle to be away from each other. In other parts of Walford, things are looking bad for Tina, after her conversation with Shirley, she's shocked when he sister offers her some money and proposes that she does a runner, this leaves Tina feeling shocked, admitting that if she ran it'll make her look guilty. But Shirley is convinced with the amount of evidence building against her, she may have no other option but to run, as she's scared for her sister. Devastated that her sister doesn't believe her, later Tina turns to her brother, Mick. Surprisingly, Mick apologises to his sister for speaking to her in such an awful way previously, he suggests that she doesn't run and that she faces it head on, and he promises to be by her side when she does. Can I just mention what an absolutely amazing scene that was between Mick and Linda! After Max being found in his flat, Mick reveals that he's already aware about his wife's infidelity. Only when Linda arrives, she begs Max to leave whilst she tries to talk to her husband. This scene was absolutely brilliant, amazing performances by Danny Dyer and Kellie Bright! After trying to explain to her husband about her actions, she pleads to him to fight for her, she is literally crying and pleading to him to show her that he cares for her, even in just the smallest way! But when Mick says that if Max makes her happy, he won't stand in her way, she can't seem to believe the words she's hearing and slaps her husband around the face, just to get a response, even taking it a step further by threatening to have an alcoholic drink! When she desperately asks him "Why won't you fight for me?!" - he simply replies with "I have no fight left!" - This is absolutely devastating for the couple, for a split moment when Mick got up from his seat, I thought he was going to let rip, fling a chair over the room or something - but there was simply nothing! After realising that her marriage isn't going to be fought for, Linda heads back to Max, when he reveals he has actually fallen in love with her, she admits that she still loves her husband but it looks as if their marriage could well and truly be over. Elsewhere, Ian tries his absolute best to apologise to his sons, his intention is to apologise to everyone he's wronged in an attempt for all the death threats to stop, starting with Peter and Bobby. After he makes an emotional, pleading speech to his sons, they invite him to attend the community event later in the evening, Ian is more than pleased and thankful to have been able to rekindle his relationship with his sons. During the event, everyone is gathered at the Square, watching a slideshow of neighbours and friends they've lost over the previous years, whilst a beautiful choir sings Silent Night. Images of our favourite characters including Peggy, Abi, Chantelle, Pauline, Pat, Dot and Ethel are shown to the community, everyone is reminiscing and sharing happy tears as they share memories of loved ones, even Phil and Karen attend as their loved one's images pop up. Only everyone is in pure shock, none more than Ian, when an image of him appears saying "R.I.P Ian Beale!" Honey states that no one put that image in the slideshow, suddenly Ian becomes aware of everyone around him and realises that the person who attacked him is close. I loved this moment when as the choir carried on singing, every single suspect, slowly looked over to Ian to see his reaction - Bobby, Ben, Kheerat, Suki, Peter, Phil - it is absolutely mesmerising, fantastic editing and camera work! Absolutely loved it!

--

And then we come to the banger, THE BIG ONE! The Christmas Day episode!! Wow, wow, wow! Another jam packed one right?! There are 3 or 4 main things I want to cover in this one! First one being the big return of Lucas Johnson and his daughter Chelsea!!! This has been such a long time coming and what an epic return it was!!! I do feel sorry for Denise however, as obviously her plans for a traditional Christmas did not go to plan. Even though she took Raymond to his church, she was left absolutely stunned and shook with fear as Lucas appeared (once again) as a supposed changed man!! But what shocked her Christmas Day even more was learning that her daughter, Chelsea, had been seeing him, spending time with him and had been doing so for a few months behind her Mother's back. This deeply saddened Denise, and it understandably made the whole family on edge as they heard the news about Lucas returning! Even Patrick took it upon himself to confront the murderer. We can absolutely see instantly that Lucas hasn't changed his ways, clasping his fist whilst being confronted by Patrick, and then also approaching Ruby as she walks along the Square, alone! I know it's way too early to say, but has Lucas already spotted his next victim?! 

The next thing I want to mention is the Slater's - it looks as if it's a happy Christmas for the Slater family, even though Kat has her concerns that it could be Kush's last Christmas, they take full pleasure in enjoying presents, food and drinks! Even though Martin and Ruby plan to spend their first Christmas at home as a newly-married couple, they get dragged into spending their day with the Slater's. Before Ruby arrives at the household, Martin has already given out his presents and it turns out the one he gave to Stacey is a beautiful sparkling watch, as she's overwhelmed by the gift, we can see absolutely clearly that that gift wasn't in fact intended for her, however it's only later on after having drinks in the Vic with the family, poor Stacey gets completely the wrong end of the stick and kisses her ex-husband, informing him that she still feels the same way about him and they could work things out, only for him to sadly drop the bombshell that he accidentally mixed up the presents and in fact the watch was meant for Ruby and the keyring Ruby opened was for Stacey. However, the one thing that none of the Slaters are aware of, is that privately after buying herself a gorgeous new dress, Jean devastatingly finds a new lump. Does this mean that her cancer could've come back? What an absolutely heart-breaking thing to find out on Christmas! 

Following the devastating blow between Mick and Linda on Christmas Eve, Mick decides that they shouldn't pretend anymore and have Ollie separately on Christmas Day. This clearly upsets Linda as Mick walks away with his son. Much to Shirley's surprise, Tina has invited Mick and his son over to Gray's for Christmas dinner, Shirley is absolutely over the moon when she sees her son and Grandson appear on the doorstep. When everyone is sat around at the table, Tina and Shirley voice their thanks to Gray as he carves the Christmas turkey. Tina happily passes a gift to Mick which is revealed to be a picture of him, Katy and Tina as kids - this seems to really spook Mick but he thanks his baby sister all the same, however Shirley can see that her son isn't looking right, she urges for them to inform her what's the problem. Only instead of informing her about Katy, Mick informs her about Linda having an affair with Max. Furious, Shirley takes it upon herself to confront her daughter-in-law and is stunned when Mick follows announcing that she doesn't mean anything to him anymore. These words look as if they really hurt Linda, to her, it seems that her marriage has completely come to an end, she turns to Max and mentions that she could consider going away with him to New Zealand. 

Later on in the evening, after having altercations with Gray through-out the day, Tina decides to make it up to him and clear the dinner table and put all the cutlery away in the dishwasher, however in the most creepiest way, Gray informs her that she's put the cutlery in the wrong way, that the knives should in fact go blade-up! He watches her and it almost looks as if he's imagining doing to her what he did to Chantelle! I do fear for Tina, could she find out his secret and be his next victim? 

And Oh my god!!! The big one, the big reveal we've been waiting for! Early on in the episode, we can see that Ian is still completely on edge of countless death threats, he looks out of the Queen Vic window and sees his brother, Ben, playing with his daughter Lexi. Ben notices and makes a gun motion with his fingers towards his brother. Instantly this plays on Ian's mind and eventually he confronts him in the middle of the Square, when suddenly the police turn up and it looks as if they're hear to collect Ben, however much to everyone's surprise, they're actually there for Peter after it's revealed his DNA was found. To Ian's surprise he asks his son "Why?" to which he responds with "I enjoyed watching you squirm!". Earlier in the episode Sharon announces to her new husband that she's going to visit Denny's grave, during their drive up to the cemetery, Ian is talking about nothing but himself and how Peter could betray him. She doesn't look a bit interested in her husband's rant and in forms him to go back to the pub. Ian does as he's told and whilst Sharon stands by her boy's gravestone, she makes a call to Phil. At first we have no idea why she's calling him, but eventually it all comes clear - when he eventually makes it to the cemetery, she informs him that she wants Ian dead today!!! WHAT DID I SAY FROM THE BEGINNING?! I KNEW SHARON WAS BEHIND IAN'S ATTACK!!! It turns out that for months they've been waiting on hearing Dennis's voicemail and it looks as if the blonde vixen is out for revenge and justice for her son! A flashback shows us that it was actually Phil who attacked Ian that night but before he could finish the job, he was interrupted by Peter spray-painting on the doors and made his escape. It looks as if Ben missed his Dad by seconds as he walks over Ian's motionless body and voices that he had it coming! It looks as if Phil and Sharon had been planning this for months possibly, however when she informs Phil to go back and finish the job today, when Phil gets to the pub he finds Ben standing over Ian with a baseball bat and he comes to realise that he can't go through with it. If Ian's blood gets on his hands, it'll come back to his family - annoying as Ian is, he can't kill a member of his family, especially when it's his son's brother. When Sharon comes home to see that Ian is still alive, she confronts Phil and is devastated when he announces that he wants out of their plan to kill Ian, he voices that she's grieving and needs professional help to come to terms with her grief. But instead, Sharon calls him a coward and informs him she'll do it herself. As everyone goes home and everyone is with their families, Sharon is seen in the Queen Vic kitchen, crushing small pills, she melts them with a blowtorch, places them into a Christmas Pudding and serves them to Ian! After all the suspects that were listed, I had a VERY big feeling that Sharon would be the one behind Ian's attack! As much as I'd love to know how she got hold of the voicemail from Denny, I am certainly looking forward to seeing when Ian realises it's his new wife who's trying to kill him! Another fantastic Christmas episode!

--

Finally coming to the final episode of this week, Boxing Day! Oh my goodness, this one had me on the edge of my seat and shaking!!! I'm sure you're all aware of what's got me shaking to the core!! That will be the thing I focus on last! Firstly, I'm going to focus on Sharon and Ian. After the previous day, Phil and Sharon bump into each other outside of the Vic, neither of them say a word to each other as they both have a silent knowledge of what's going on, it looks as if Phil is questioning her with his eyes, only his question is answered when Ian appears from the top bedroom window, shouting down to his wife. With the comfort of knowing that Sharon hasn't gone through with her plan, Phil walks way. Only little does he know that she's actually poisoning him! Later on in the episode, Sharon convinces Ian to show his face and step outside, even though he is reluctant to do so, and it just so happens that the first people he sees are his Mum and his son, Peter. Peter reveals to him that he's been released by police with no charges, leaving everyone completely by surprise. So that puts Peter out of the frame! 

Meanwhile, after Denise's huge shock at seeing Lucas the previous day, she and Kim take Raymond to the park for a kick about for a bit of space. Innocently, Ruby approaches the little boy and compliments his Christmas jumper, but it seems as if recent events have spooked Denise, as she calls the little boy to stay close to her. As she walks away with the little boy, it looks as if Ruby is feeling an emotion that she's never felt before. Later on when she and Martin meet up at the Vic, he apologies for the way they spent their first Christmas. However, something even more interesting is on Ruby's mind, she questions her husband whether he has the feeling that something in his life is missing, but when he simply can't think of anything and announces he has everything he wants, she drops the bombshell that she wants them to have a child of their own.

So the last and big section I need to talk about involves Gray and all members of the Carter family! The first thing I'll mention is the brief scene between Linda and Mick, as it comes to dawn on them that their marriage is coming to an end, Linda reveals to her husband that they should discuss new arrangements when it comes to Ollie, when each of them get to see him etc. Deep down you can see it's visibly hurting both of them that it's come to this, but what else are they supposed to do? Mick won't talk and Linda truly believes that her husband has lost complete interest and doesn't want her anymore. As Linda leaves with Ollie, Mick feels like he needs someone, of course his first person to contact is Katy. When she eventually returns to the Square, once again she starts to manipulate Mick, trying to convince him that moving away would be the best thing for him, pointing out that his marriage to Linda is over, what is keeping him in Walford? The fact that he does actually still love his wife and his family and his little boy!! Meanwhile whilst all this is happening with Mick, Gray is reeling after Tina let it slip in front of his children that Chantelle was planning on leaving him. This has left him out for revenge on Tina! Even Mitch has started questioning whether what Tina has said is true, which is clearly going to rattle Gray's cage, he points the blame straight onto Tina for his children not wanting to see him, to which she repeatedly apologises for. However, he seems to think that she has completely crossed the line. When he bumps into the Detective who's working the case of the attack on Ian, he reveals that Peter has been released without charge and also the witness they gave wasn't reliable and that Tina's case probably won't make it to court. Gray goes back and completely twists his words and informs Tina that she has to leave the Square today as the evidence against her is building and building! To their absolute shock, both Shirley and Tina begin to panic, Mick hears the commotion and questions what's happening, as Gray reveals that the police could be coming for Tina at any moment and she needs to leave quick, he proposes that he leaves the Square with her. Taking Katy's advice, he seems to realise that this could be his way out of Walford! Shirley is in absolute tears as she comes to the realisation that both her sister and her son could be leaving so suddenly. As Mick hurries home to grab his belongings, Tina informs Gray that she'll forever be thankful to him and will find a way to repay him, as he begins to make plans in booking a plane flight for them. Before Tina goes to grab her belongings, Shirley stops to give her a late Christmas present - which I have a huge feeling could be VERY important - a golden chain with her name on, Tina is weepy as she thanks her sister and tells her she'll miss her. As Shirley bids her sister farewell, I have a devastating, horrible feeling that this may be the last time Shirley will see Tina alive?! Later on as Tina rushes to grab her last few items from the shop, she bumps into the Detective and states that the witness they have for her is a liar, however he drops the bombshell about her witness being unreliable and that Gray should've told her, it becomes clear to Tina that Gray has been lying to her. As she arrives back at the house, Gray is finishing packing her things, it appears to be just the two of them in the house. Everything comes crystal clear to Tina that Gray wants her out of his house and out of Walford - I thought this was such an epic, gripping scene! I was fearing for Tina the entire time!! She confronts him about his lies and even comes to the realisation that the way he's treated her is exactly the way he treated Chantelle. Gray is absolutely stunned to realise that she is on to him and she has come to know the truth about how his wife died, she threatens him that she's been watching him and she knows exactly the type of person he his! But as soon as she mentions Chantelle, about the way he treated her and abused her, you can see Gray getting angrier and angrier, denying all allegations that Tina is throwing at him! I did feel that Tina was so brave to stand up to him, but I am fearing that this could be the last time we see Tina alive? She says those very important words - "You killed her! You murdered your wife!" and you can see it clear as day that Gray knows he's going to have to get rid of her before she reveals his secret.

I have to be honest but this episode has fantastic performances from Toby-Alexander Smith and Luisa Bradshaw-White! Are you guys fearing for Tina as much as I am?! I do feel that the gold chain with Tina's name on is going to be very significant! Will Gray murder Tina, get rid of her body and convince Shirley that Tina has actually fled, without Mick and left her chain behind?! Who knows? Either way, I don't know how Tina is going to escape the wrath of Gray now she's aware of his secret. What do you guys think? Did you enjoy the Christmas episodes as much as I did? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thank you for reading, I apologise it's taken so long, but I hope you enjoy this post as much as I've enjoying writing! I'll be back tomorrow following tomorrow's episode - what will happen to Tina?! Love you all xXx

[endless-vall]

Blossoming - Thomas Mendez x MC fanfic

Summary: Thomas is sure he isn’t ready to move on and start pursuing Ellie romantically yet, but when Zoey is threatened to be taken away from Ellie by her ex-husband, and his protective side emerges, his feelings make a shift.

Author’s note: I’m not sure how it works in other countries, but I know for sure that in mine courts tend to take the mother’s side on custody fights, given that she wants the custody and isn’t abusive/mentally unstable/etc.  

I made a post a few days ago stating there wasn’t nearly enough Moty fanfics and so I’ve decided to contribute myself! Hope you’ll like it ^^

*Spoiler : They didn’t kiss in this fic, it’s too early, but the tension is amazing and makes it so much more worth it when they do finally give in! ;D

Thomas was finally off work early, and on his way to pick Luz from her sitter. He'd promised he'd take her to the new exhibition she was so excitedly non-stop blabbering about, and he was supposed to meet Ellie and Zoey there.

They were best friends, after all, but Thomas suspected that maybe the two girls were looking and making up reasons for him and Ellie to meet at this point.

Not that he had a problem with that, he truly liked Ellie and there might be something special there, between them, but a pinch in his heart always kept him at arms-length from her, a hollow Soledad left there, a hole he was not quite ready to fill up yet.

And what was so amazing about Ellie was that she understood and gave him all the time he needed, which was why this has been getting more and more difficult. He wanted to move on, but simply couldn't right now.

"Daddd" His bean ran out to meet him at the doorway, not wasting any second. She was already dressed up for the trip to the museum and had a backpack on her back, ready to leave.

Thomas chuckled, and thanked the sitter who stood behind her, at the door.

Turning, he took Luz's hand and smiled brightly. "Ready to go?" He asked, hyping her up.

"Like, yesterday." She replied, making them both laugh.

He arrived at the museum, but didn't find Ellie in the front, like he assumed he would.

"Maybe we got here first," he explained to an expecting Luz, who looked like she was going to burst if she wasn't able to run around the museum and blabber about things he didn't really understand.

"You should call her!" Of course Luz would encourage him to do that, but honestly it wasn't such a bad idea.

He dialed the number, but the line seemed to be busy. Furrowing his eyebrows, he hung up.

"What did she say???" Luz's big eyes glimmered as she questioned.

"She didn't pick up, but you know what? Maybe they're already inside, we should go in and look for them, alright?"

"Alright daddy" She basically leaped out of the car and was at the doors of the museum before he had a chance to close the car's door behind him.

Thomas simply smiled and followed his daughter, ignoring the concern blossoming in his stomach for Ellie. Everything was probably fine.

After entering the museum and finding the exhibition they were looking for, the two saw Zoey already checking all the cool stuff in there.

"See? I told you we'll find them here." He gestured and Luz giddily approached her friend.

One thing was still not putting his mind at ease, though, since he couldn't find Ellie anywhere. He looked around the gallery, but she wasn't in sight.

Approaching Zoey, he kept a calm tone and asked, as if by the way, "Hey Zoey, where is your mom?"

"Oh, she had an important call to answer, and she stepped out since they don't allow phonecalls in here," Zoey pointed out the sign. "I promised to behave and stay only in this room so she let me stay." Zoey smiled.

"Oh, alright." He smiled back at her. That made sense, seeing as she did have busy phone line when he called.

He followed the girls, watching both of them now, as they talked and got excited over stuff on the exhibition.

Finally, a few minutes later they passed an inner courtyard of the museum, and he saw Ellie sitting outside on a bench, seemingly in a heated argument. She got a glimpse at him, smiling fondly, but only for a second before going back to what seemed like an unpleasant conversation.

"Zoey, here's your mom!" Luz called excitedly, pointing. She really did like Ellie a whole lot.

Zoey bit at her lower lip. "Yeah..."

Looking back at Thomas, she looked as if she had something to say.

"Is everything alright, Zoey?" Suddenly, an urgent protective wave passed through him, as he looked at her troubled expression.

"Luz's dad-" "You can call me Thomas"

Zoey smiled more confidently at his words.

"Thomas," she started again. "You're a lawyer, right?" This wasn't what he was expecting Zoey to ask, but he nodded nonetheless. "Yes, I am."

"My mom will probably not want me to tell you that," He didn't really like where this was going. "But she could use your help, like, really." Zoey said, still concerned. "Of course I'll help," he crouched down and put a comforting hand on her shoulder, earning back a grateful smile.

He threw another look outside, feeling another protective wave wash through him, but this time for Ellie. She needed legal help? This seemed even more serious than he'd first anticipated. She seemed as if the phonecall was done, and Thomas decided he wasn't going to stall talking to her.

"Girls, could you stay here for a moment? I'll be right back." He told them. Luz and Zoey nodded in sync and got into another conversation about things they both liked.

Thomas got out, now getting a better look at Ellie. She had big dark bags under her eyes, as if she didn't sleep for a few days (even more than usually being a single parent deprived you of). She looked so frustrated, her whole body language tense and rock-solid, and she didn't even notice him approaching.

"Hi," he started kindly, sitting beside her but letting her have her space. "How are you?"

Ellie almost jumped in her place, forcing a smile quickly as she realized who was sitting beside her. "Oh, hey, I'm fine." Another fake smile. "You?" He was a lawyer, reading people's faces was a nice quality to have and made his life easier when working with a client. Although Ellie was much more than a client, obviously.

"I'm fine too," he nodded, but wasn't about to step down.

"A little birdie told me that you might need my help..." Thomas leaned back against the bench, while Ellie shook her head.

"That little...." Both chuckled lightly.

"I..." she bit her lower lip, not quite able to explain.

Thomas took her hand in his, comfortingly, and Ellie turned to look at him, a tiny bit calmer.

"You don't have to tell me, but I will do everything I can to help if you'd want my help." Thomas assured her.

"My ex-husband is in town. Zoey ‘s dad." Ellie spat it out.

"Oh." His grip on her hand immediately loosened. It hit him like an arrow to the heart.

Why did it hit so hard? Wasn't he the one that said he wasn't ready to move on just earlier? And if so... why did it feel like someone took his heart and crumpled it like a piece of paper?

Panic washed over Ellie's face as she noticed he recoiled. "No, it's not that-"

"You don't have to explain-"

"He wants custody."

"Oh." Thomas felt silly for taking it the way he did.

"Over Zoey. He wants to take her away." Worry washed over Ellie's features again.

"Well, usually courts tend to support the mother's side when it comes to child custody. Especially considering there aren't any claims of abuse against you or anything that indicates that you're not fit to be a mom. Zoey wants to stay with you, too, so you actually have a strong case. You don't have to worry," while he had to go into lawyer mode to explain everything, internally he was grateful that he was wrong with his initial assumption, and had a few seconds to get his cool back.

"But he's trying to bribe her, and he now has a wife and a steady, good-paying job and I can barely keep up." Ellie's smile flatters.

"You also have a damn good lawyer at your side," he drops the lawyer act and smiles brightly at Ellie.

At last, she looked somewhat convinced. "I'll pay you back-"

"Ellie." He took a hold of her hand again.

"I'm serious-"

"Me too. Zoey is your daughter. You’ve done everything for her. I don't want her taken away from you either." He smiled, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Ellie let out a nervous laugh out, as if she was letting all the frustration that built up in her out with it.

"You know, I was so upset and got so worked up that I didn't even think of asking for your help. I forgot that you were a lawyer and know much more about it than me. I didn't even think about it." She leans against Thomas' side.

"It's okay. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed and focused on our problems that we forget about the rest of the world." He'd be lying if he said he didn't lean into her touch as well.

Ellie chuckled. "Exactly"

She glances inside, making sure Zoey and Luz were still in line of sight.

"We should probably head in, right? I was out here quite some time now." Ellie shrugged.

"We probably should," Thomas nodded, even though he liked the way they cuddled on the bench.

Hell, to someone looking from the side, it might look like more than cuddling. But who cares what other people thought, anyway?

Neither of them made a move to stand up and go back.

"Thomas?" Ellie shuffles and turns to look at him.

She's... so close... he could probably kiss her right now. And for a chance, he doesn't feel guilty about it.

Something about wanting to protect her and her family and keep them close to him really did affect him.

But just before he can lean in and press his lips against her she talks. "Thank you." Her voice is sweet and gentle and genuine.

"It's my pleasure." He answers in the same tone, and with that, she stands up and escapes out of his reach.

"Let's go back?" She motions back to their daughters and Thomas follows suit.

Pretending like he didn't just imagine kissing her. Pretending he wasn't fighting the urge to do it anyway, right then and there, anyway.

He knew Ellie wanted it too... she was giving him time, after all.

He wasn't done grieving, this wasn't an easy process and there wasn't a magic solution, but he was undoubtedly developing feelings for Ellie, feelings that until recently were reserved only for Soledad.

She came into his life and his heart started beating strongly again, not just getting by or putting on a strong face for Luz’ sake, but also for himself.

"I just want to make sure I’m helping, not hindering.” she told him, a while ago. She was definitely helping.

[hellreads]

Any good yandere stalker recommendations? Doesn’t matter the member really.

an ask that will expose my yandere/stalker (insert killer too because some yanderes are just willing to go the extra mile) BTS loving ass let’s do this! and btw this list is in no particular order, I just went to my ficshelf and pulled all the good stuff I read (though I admit I have favorites *zips her mouth*) and I hope you’ll love them too, ooooh and another thing we all know that;

A yandere is a character, who becomes violently possessive of a love interest.

so please consider all warnings in every story listed here before you read, AGAIN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read every single warning/triggers, that’s all I ask of you.

or alternatively: this is me posting all the fics I read in one go! hsajdfghjdsfga enjoy this my fellow yandere loving readers! | 🍒

❥ Let the Villain Win by @lemonjoonah➴ Author!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ Kim Namjoon, famous author and your childhood friend has been keeping a secret from you. His new book treads on such dark themes that he’s finding it difficult to write. Excited by the prospect of a sinister plot you offer him a piece of advice, “Let the villain win…” 

❥ Scopophilic Affection by @bibbykins➴ Rich Kid/Yandere!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot➴ Scopophilia is a more dignified way to define voyeurism, something Seokjin had no intention of partaking in until he came across your live stream. Seokjin is a dignified man, but never in his life had he felt so depraved watching you smile and work like it was his profession, unable to reach through the screen and make you his. Unable to tell you how much he loves to watch you because you have no idea you’re live stream even exists. He can’t tell you how hypnotizing you are without the glaring controversy of him watching your hacked-into webcam, both as a human and director in the computer science division of the company he is a board member of. Nevertheless, you were his very guilty utmost pleasure.

❥ Dual Fixation by peachedsoda➴ Yandere!AU | Yoongi x Named OC x Taehyung | Series ➴ DICHOTOMOUS : Not being loved by the one you love is like torture. But in a way, being loved by someone you don’t want to be with, and being forced to love that person back, could be bigger torture. How much of it can be called love? How much of it becomes an obsession? Kim Taehyung—the one consumed by passion for the unexpected love he feels for a certain girl.Min Yoongi—the one clinging to the only girl able to accept his dichotomous personality. And Lee Eunhye—the girl trapped in the minds of both men.➴ INFATUATION : The threat of Kim Taehyung hangs heavy in the air, bringing with it the ever-present paranoia that has thus become a constant in Yoongi’s life. Determined to protect the brittle relationship he has built with Eunhye, and fearful of what Taehyung might do, Yoongi finds himself focused solely on finding ways to rid them of unwanted interferences. Desperation drives Yoongi to make questionable decisions in the name of protecting Eunhye, fully unaware of the amount of danger he’d be putting her in. Yoongi is willing to go to hopeless lengths to keep her by his side, failing to realize it was not Taehyung who would drive her away, but his own actions and resolves. Peace and a respite from danger seem to be an impossibility, especially with Yoongi’s intended involvement with Taehyung’s notorious family who happens to be one of the most fearsome gangs in the south side.

❥ The Uncanny by sinsirella➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Jimin x Reader x Jungkook x Jin | Series➴ “The uncanny is the psychological experience of something as strangely familiar, rather than simply mysterious.” An everyday object or occurrence can be experienced as something unsettling and alienated. This is accompanied by a discomforting effect and—most of the time—leads to an outright rejection of said subject. Or Someone.

(Y/N) is a young girl whose life turns upside down. One day her mother surprises her with news of her arranged husband, forcing her into her new chaotic lifestyle. Join her journey and experience her new life through her eyes. Will she get along with her husband? Or someone else? What are they hiding?

❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Neighbors!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason. 

❥ Mythomania by @chimchimsauce ➴ Idol!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ She’s the love of his life, the object of his affection. Too bad she doesn’t know it yet. 

❥ Beastly Gods by @lemonjoonah ➴ Hybrid!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot➴ ‘Don’t leave the forest,’ a rule that you’ve been forced to follow since birth, but you are tired of living in this wooden cage. Out of desperation, you cut a deal with Taehyung, who claims to be the only one who can get you out safely, even though he might be just as dangerous as the god you’re trying to escape. 

❥ KTH Reaction from @yandere-society ➴ Yandere!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Reaction➴ Taehyung finds out you’re pregnant.  ➴ NOTE: Hands down sent shivers down my spine, felt like someone was breathing down my neck the whole time I was reading this reaction T_T

❥ You Were Mine by joonscandy (ao3) / @jiminatrix➴ Stalker!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Jin x Hoseok | Series➴ “I have to go, Kook,” you tell him but he still doesn’t let go, “I have work and Your brother will be back any minu—“ “I don’t care!” Jungkook growls, “You broke up with him… What does it matter?”***You’ve avoided Jin because you were over your messy breakup. Enters Jungkook, someone you’d grown to love and care for. But, with the shift in feelings– you make it a point to avoid everyone associated with the two brothers. Well, at least, tried to but with how Jungkook felt about you that was a little easier said than done. Jungkook had always had a soft spot for you, everyone knew it. Jin knew it and he hated it but, what happens when that soft spot turns into something else?-or-Jungkook has been in love with you since the first day Jin introduced the two of you so much in love that it becomes an obsession.

❥ Lust by @umitae ➴ Stalker!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Everybody has a lust for something. but his lust was beyond the ordinary one. his lust for you was out of this world. he only wanted you and in order to make you his, everything had to go his way. 

❥ Pen Pal by @chinkbihh ➴ Prison!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ As a lonely person, the idea of talking to someone removed from society was actually quite appealing to you. In an act of charity and loneliness, you sign up for a Pen Pal program and get paired up with an inmate named Jungkook. Your letters were meant to help him cope with prison life, but little did anyone know they were actually driving him more mad.

❥ Toxic by shanubi➴ Stalker!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ His mind is twisted and his love for you is toxic. 

❥ Only You by @sweetbunnykook ➴ Stalker!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Jin x Namjoon | Series➴ Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much. 

❥ Making of a Lover by @smileyoongle ➴ Yandere!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Jimin | One-Shot / Drabble➴ //

❥ Fatal Attraction by @jungcock ➴ Serial Killer!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Taehyung | Series➴ Your dangerous ex-boyfriend comes back to haunt you in more ways than one.

❥ VITA by saylilirose➴ Psych!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Being the top psychiatrist at National Mental Institution of Esor, you’re assigned with the newly transferred patients from another institution.They’re patients that have been unable to be helped. So far.Your friend Daniel is also assigned his own patients but he worries for your safety now.You both hope to let these patients, live as best as they can as they suffer through these silent diseases.

❥ Extreme Obsession by saylilirose➴ Yandere!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ In life, you meet one person that you live and grow old with. You? You meet seven. But your love? Non-existent. But theirs? Real…and obsessive.Which turns deadly and dangerous. Without hesitation.

❥ Recrudescence by @chimchimsauce➴ Yandere!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ It’s nearly easy as breathing (for six of them, at least) for BTS to pretend to be just like everyone else - humans with big dreams and aspirations. But one person brings the façade crashing to the ground and for some reason, they just can’t let her go.

❥ and I’m recommending all the good yandere stuff from @yandere-society 🖤🖤🖤

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Not Labeling Whatever This Is Part 2

(Gif Credit @izkim)

Second Part to not-labeling-whatever-this-is. Hope you all enjoy!!

Happy Reading Dollies

Requested by @jasonbeghefan, @rockyrascal

It has been four months since you gave Hank your speech and life was going great so far. You had found someone you saw yourself with years to come maybe and you were so excited about the future. But in the back of your mind you always thought about how Hank was, if he was happy and if he still thought about you but that little darkness was lite up as you thought about how happy you are now.

One day you had to run errands for work and there was a stop that you didn't want to make to the CPD. You worked as a charity planner and you had to ask if they would help out with security. 

Gathering your nerves you walked up the stairs to the front desk and you were spotted right away. 

"Y/N"? Erin asked as she put files on the desk. 

"Hey, Erin". You greeted her with a hug. 

"How have you been"? She asked looking you over with a smile. 

"Great, life's great". You replied with a laugh.

"That's really amazing to hear". 

"Did you need something"?

"Oh um, I was going to ask Trudy if she could spare some uniforms to help with the charity I'm working on".

"I think we can do that". Trudy interrupted Erin and you. 

"Thanks Trudy". You said with a smile, she gave you a wink. 

"So have you seen Hank"? Erin asked casually out of the blue. 

"No. How is he"? Your question made you gulp and you hoped Erin didn't see how nervous you were when she mentioned him. 

"Good, but you know how he is". "Quiet about his personal life". 

"Yeah, I know that". You both let out a awkward chuckle. 

"Do you want to come up"? Erin asked as she put in her code to the gate. 

"No, I have to be going". You quickly said but that didn't stop Erin from grabbing your hand. 

"Come on". 

"I can't, Erin". You groaned at how strong her grip was on you right now. 

Walking up the stairs you could hear Hanks husky voice and it brought  a tear to your eye. All the memories flooding back from your previous life. 

"Hey guys look who came to see us". Erin stepped out of the way and you stood there lifeless but with a smile. 

"Y/N". Jay, Adam and Al came and gave you a hug. Antonio gave you a nod as he was talking to Hank. 

"Hey". You waved with a tremble.

"Y/N". Hanks greeting was cold and heartless.  Kind of how you left him. 

"Hank". 

"So what do we owe this pleasure, we haven't seen you in what four months"? 

"Be nice". Erin warned Hank. "She came here to ask Trudy for some uniforms for a charity". 

"Its alright Erin, he's just being a child right now since he can't have his way". You sneered at Hank. 

"What way are we talking about here"? Jay asked, Adam and him snickered under their breath. 

"Oh, I'm sorry you all didn't know about Hank and I". 

"You were a thing, like together"? Adam asked locking his hands together. 

"No, oh no, don't label it Adam. Hank doesn't like labels". Sarcasm laced your voice, the team was so confused on what was going on at the moment. 

"I'm not.. were y'all together or not"? Adam said getting annoyed at not knowing what was going on.

"We had sex but never went out on a proper date, I've never met his family or his friends outside of work anyways. He didn't want to ruin what we had". All these emotions just poured out of you and it felt great. Why couldn't you have done this when Hank and you were together, you thought to yourself.

"Did you get paid for it"? "No disrespect". Jay raised his hands then lowered his head as he looked at Hank, if Hank was closer to Jay he would have strangled the life out of him. 

"Yeah it did look like that kind of relationship as you mentioned it, doesn't it"? 

"It wasn't like that at all". Hank said trying to defend himself. 

"Then what was it"? You asked, the team asked the same question.

"What do you want me to say, Huh"? 

"Tell me what we were". You screamed at Hank. Everyone took a step back to give you space.

"I loved you". "Is that what you wanted to hear"? Hanks voice broke as he went to his office slamming the door close. 

"You couldn't have said that in the first place, dumbass". You hissed.

"Wow". Jay whispered with a smile on his face. Adam and Antonio stood there in shock, all this coming from little ol' you. 

"Well that went horrible". "I told you, I shouldn't have came up here". You looked at Erin, her face had sorry written all over it. They all did. 

"I better be going". You waved bye and walked down the stairs. 

Hank paced his office, his mind was all over the place. He loved seeing you but he wanted to act tough and not let his emotions show. He felt guilty being a jerk to you.

Hank gathered his courage and went after you. Flinging his door open and racing through the room, down the stairs out of breath. Everyone in the room thought they had saw flash zipping away.

"Where's Y/N"? He asked Trudy who thought he had gone mad.

"She left".

Hank dashed out the door on to the side walk, searching back and forth until he saw your face in the crowd of people gathering around the bus stop.

"Y/N"! Hank yelled, getting strange looks from everyone there. You rolled your eyes with a huff, quickly walking to him.

"Didn't get enough of embarrassing yourself inside you had to come out here and do it"?

"If it takes me embarrassing myself to show you that I love you and don't want to lose you then so be it".

"Hank". You started but he stopped you.

"I love you, I want us to be together as a couple. I know I don't show my feelings to anyone but I'm willing and ready to open up to you. If I'm not already to late".

"I'm seeing someone". You blurted out.

"End it".

"I can't throw away two months of a relationship to go back to you so you can get cold feet again ,Hank".

"I swear I won't ever make you feel like I did that night I wish I could take it all away and start over. The knock on the door, you coming in and asking me that simple little question and me ruining our lives".

"So please ask me it again"?

By now tears were streaming down your face as you bit your lower lip. 

"Where do we stand"? You said between sobs.

"We are in a relationship, boyfriend and girlfriend and some day husband and wife cause I missed you so much that I never want to let you go again". "I will scream it from the top of this building if I have too, I will show you that I love you dearly and I want you back in my arms again". "I'm sorry for being a dumbass". 

"Oh Hank". You threw you body onto his. Wrapping your arms around his neck, his arms wrapped around your waist. He kissed your lips over and over.

"I promise everything to you". "There will be no holding me back on how I feel about you".

"I love you Y/N Y/L/N and I’m going to give you the life you want". Hank said moving a piece of hair from your face. 

"I love you too Hank Voight". You kissed his lips once more before letting him go.

"Lets go tell the team". Hank grabbed your hand leading you to the door but your stopped him.

"I think we should tell him first".

"Let me do that alone, it will be easier".

"Hank, I don't want you to threaten him or anything". "He's a good guy and he deserves to be let down gently".

"I won't, I promise". "Lets go, I can't wait any longer". Hank kissed your forehead taking you to the team. They all were so confused by the end of the day after you explained everything that happened.

Hank let your ex boyfriend down easily and in Hanks own little way. Basically telling him if he ever looks at you again he'll have a hole dug for him before he has a second look. But that was Hanks way of saying he loves you and that you're only his.

[bluewatsons]

Laura Miller, Sleazy, bloody and surprisingly smart: In defense of true crime, Salon (May 30, 2014)

This stigmatized genre has much to teach us about the way crime and justice really work

Give me a book that begins with a time and a date and a boring address, something along the lines of "At 9:36 on March 24, 1982, Dep. Frank McGruff of the Huntington County Sheriff's Department was dispatched to 234 Maple Street in Pleasantville, North Carolina, a quiet, suburb 10 miles west of Raleigh, to follow up on reports of gunshots and screams."

There is nothing more generic than this sort of sentence -- which is why I was easily able to make one up on the fly -- and yet there's nothing more seductive, either. In it is promised: the regular-guy lawman (who always seems to have a new baby at home), the horrific crime scene (there is always more blood than anyone expects), the enigmatic object found lying in the foyer (marked with an X in the helpfully provided floor plan), the minute-by-minute timeline of that fatal half-hour, the witness reports that don't add up, the fractal-like multiplication of scenarios and theories and complications.

I've always felt somewhat sheepish about my appetite for true crime narratives, associated as they are with fat, flimsy paperbacks scavenged from the 25-cent box at garage sales, their battered covers branded with screaming two-word titles stamped in silver foil, blood dripping luridly from the last letter. The most famous practitioners of this louche genre -- Joe McGinniss, Ann Rule, Vincent Bugliosi -- come coated with a thin, greasy film of dubious repute and poor taste. (Can there ever be a valid reason to title a book "A Rose for Her Grave"?) True crime is also the mother's milk of risible tabloid journalism, of endless trashy news cycles in which the same photo of a wide-eyed innocent bride (where is she?); a gap-toothed kindergarten student (who killed him?); a bleary-eyed, stubbled suspect (why did he do it?) appear over and over and over again.

Occasionally, true crime is where literary writers go to slum and, not coincidentally, make some real money: Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood," Norman Mailer's "The Executioner's Song." It's not the Great American Novel, yet somehow such books have a tendency to end up the most admired works of a celebrated author's career. Is it because better writers tease something out of the genre that pulp peddlers can't, or is it just that their blue-chip names give readers a free pass to indulge a guilty pleasure?

By contrast, crime fiction has a better rep. It is the most respectable form of genre fiction, the one that even the snootiest literary critics will admit to enjoying now and then. They justly praise the innovative prose styles of Raymond Chandler or Elmore Leonard as vehicles for a distinctively American voice. And crime -- transgression of the social and moral order -- is one of literature's central themes, after all. Isn't one of the greatest novels of all time called "Crime and Punishment"? Plus, from Cormac McCarthy's "No Country for Old Men" to Toni Morrison's "Beloved," many novels by literary titans are crime fiction by another name.

True crime, however, labors always under the stigma of voyeurism, or worse. It's not just unseemly to linger over the bloodied bodies of the dead and the hideous sufferings inflicted upon them in their final hours, it's also kind of sick. Gillian Flynn's second novel, "Dark Places," describes the wincing interactions between its narrator -- survivor of a notorious multiple murder like the Clutter killings of "In Cold Blood" -- and a creepy subculture of murder "fans" and collectors; when she's hard up for cash, she's forced to auction off family memorabilia at their conventions. Yuck.

The very thing that makes true crime compelling -- this really happened -- also makes it distasteful: the use of human agony for the purposes of entertainment. Of course, what is the novel if not a voyeuristic enterprise, an attempt to glimpse inside the minds and hearts of other people? But with fiction, no actual people are exploited in the making.

I love crime fiction, too, but lately I've come to appreciate true crime more, specifically for its lack of certain features that crime fiction nearly always supplies: solutions, explanations, answers. Even if the culprit isn't always caught and brought to justice in a detective novel, we expect to find out whodunit, and that expectation had better be satisfied. A novelist who dares to build her narrative around a murder and then refuses to collar the perp by the last chapter -- as Donna Tartt did in her sumptuous, underappreciated second novel, "The Little Friend" -- will never hear the end of it. Readers of books and viewers of television and film demand not only to know who did it but why, preferably with a tidy little back story about a molesting uncle, bullying schoolmates or a mom who tricked with sailors in the next room. We believe in evil, but we also want pop psychology to explain it away.

Crime fiction reassures us that for every murder there is a sleuth as obsessed as we are with getting to the bottom of the puzzle. There are the formulaic clashes between the committed police detective and the self-serving brass, the feds who interfere with the locals (or vice versa) for purely territorial reasons, the nagging spouse and the occasional sloppy, time-serving colleague who just wants to wrap this thing up before he's set to retire with a full pension. But there's also always someone, the hero -- whether public officer or private dick -- who really, really wants to find out the truth and has the brains (and sometimes the brawn) required to do it.

Because most of us have a lot more experience with crime fiction -- TV and movies, but also books -- than we do with actual crime, our sense of how law enforcement works has been distorted by the imperatives of entertainment. Forensic scientists often complain that the public expects them to possess and deploy the wizardly high-tech tools they see every week on "CSI." Because the "CSI" team's gear is presented as omniscient and infallible, legal professionals must contend with jurors' overinflated confidence in forensic evidence. Even the most appalling news stories of incompetent or corrupt lab workers will never register as deeply as watching Gil Grissom and his earnest sidekicks stay up all night and ruin their marriages for the sake of seeing justice done.

For all their lingering shots of mangled bodies and gooey, maggot-ridden corpses, these TV procedurals paint a too-pretty picture. If Jack Nicholson were a true-crime author, he'd be telling the audience for such pseudo-gritty shows that they can't handle the truth. Finding myself seated next to a criminal prosecutor-turned-defense attorney at a wedding several years ago, I asked him what pop culture gets the most wrong about crime and punishment in America. After a long pause, he said, "I'm torn between two answers: How much police care about getting it right and how competent they are to do it."

True crime is not above trafficking in misleading clichés -- because, let's face it, there's not much that true crime is above. The majority of the genre is cheap sensationalism, deploying the most shopworn clichés: tragic maidens; idyllic small towns; smiling devils; winsome, doomed tots. Much true crime has achieved its goals if it gives its readers something to shiver over late at night or to whisper about at school. (Most of my early knowledge of true crime classics like "Helter Skelter" came from other girls who got ahold of the books while baby sitting and recounted the most horrific details to a breathless audience on the playground the next day.) Plenty of it offers a comforting message similar to that of crime fiction: that, for all the bewildering and seemingly random violence of this world, it is usually possible for us to know what really happened and who's responsible.

But we also live in a golden age when it comes to a more challenging vein of true crime. These books include Robert Kolker's "Lost Girls," about 14 unsolved murders in Long Island; Raymond Bonner's "Anatomy of Injustice," about the wrongful capital conviction of a black handyman for the rape and murder of an elderly white widow in South Carolina; Janet Malcolm's "Iphigenia in Forest Hills," about the celebrated journalist's inability to accept the guilty verdict against a young mother accused of hiring a man to murder her ex-husband; and Errol Morris' "A Wilderness of Error," which is in part a challenge to another milestone in the genre, Joe McGinniss' "Fatal Vision." Coming up next month is another landmark, "The Wrong Carlos," by James Liebman and the Columbia DeLuna Project, an exhaustively researched consideration of a 1980s case in which the state of Texas most likely executed the wrong man.

Even true crime books in which the identity of the killer is uncontested can open up welcome vistas of uncertainty. Recently, Anand Giridharadas' "The True American" examines the lives of two men: the sole survivor of a hate-crime spree, who forgave and tried to save his would-be killer, and the killer himself, who seems to have become a different man before his 2011 execution; who was he, really? Dave Cullen's masterful "Columbine," published in 2009, offers the most definitive account of the infamous school shooting and clears up many misperceptions, but still leaves the reader with a sense that the reasons for such acts may be fundamentally unknowable. Several years ago, when I was interviewing Margaret Atwood about "Alias Grace," her novel about a maid convicted of killing her master in 19th-century Canada, she remarked that murderers themselves often don't seem to understand their own crimes. They describe the acts as something that "just happened" or as if they were committed by someone else even as they acknowledge they did it. The true crime accounts I've read confirm what Atwood said.

Most important of all, true crime reminds its readers over and over again that most detectives aren't fantastically clever, that most investigations make dozens of significant mistakes and that even the most seemingly hard evidence can become as indeterminate as a quantum particle under sustained study. Sometimes the confusion is understandable. Jeff Guinn's "Manson," a biography of the murderous cult leader published last year, recounts how long the LAPD spent pursuing a bogus scenario in investigating the massacre at Sharon Tate's home.

Investigators assumed that because drugs were found on the premises, the motive was probably a drug deal or connection gone bad. Manson had his followers plant "clues," in the form of weird words written on the wall in blood, with the bizarre idea that the police would instantly link these words to the Black Panthers. (They instead assumed it was just crazy druggie writing, which of course it was.) Much time was lost before the cops were put on the right track by an informant. This, incidentally, is how most real-life whodunits, such as the Unabomber attacks, seem to be solved. There's nothing like true crime to dispel the notion that criminals get caught because of a detective's brilliant reading of the clues. Rather, they get caught because someone rats them out.

Nowhere is the danger of investigators' tendency to settle too early on a theory of the crime more evident than in stories of wrongful conviction. As "Anatomy of Injustice" tells it, police decided that Edward Lee Elmore, the simple-minded African-American man who had mowed neighborhood lawns for years, suddenly turned violent. Under the influence of a suspiciously meddlesome neighbor, a local city councilman, they ignored significant evidence contradicting this theory, and eventually resorted to falsifying evidence, while Elmore's own lawyers barely bothered to defend him at all. Finally, thanks to the efforts of an attorney working for South Carolina's Center for Capital Litigation, the conviction was overturned. The actual murderer has never been identified, but at least an innocent man has escaped death row.

Investigations aren't always led astray by deliberate manipulation, however. In "The Wrong Carlos," confused and inept handling of the crime scene, witnesses and hunt for the man who stabbed a convenience store clerk in Corpus Christi combined with coincidence and bad luck to lead to the unjust execution of Carlos DeLuna. He was the spitting image of the likely culprit to the degree that even people who knew either of the men quite well couldn't tell photos of them apart. Under the aegis of Liebman, 12 Columbia Law School students pored over the records of the case, producing a meticulous and highly detailed report on the crime investigation and trial -- which, while sobering, is also catnip for the amateur detective. It strongly suggests DeLuna was innocent and it's so convincing that even the victim's brother agrees.

Robert Kolker's "Lost Girls" and Errol Morris' "A Wilderness of Error" may be the most accomplished true crime narratives I've read in recent years. The killer or killers responsible for dumping bodies along a lonely Long Island road have yet to be identified. The investigation appears to be stalled for a variety of reasons having to do with the personalities and ambitions of local officials. So Kolker's "Lost Girls" focuses instead on the lives and families of the dead, young women who drifted into the world of prostitution and could not succeed at pulling themselves out again. It's a portrait of underclass life, frayed by substance abuse, domestic violence, crime and fecklessness, and it asks not what circumstances create a monster but which ones forge his victims.

"A Wilderness of Error" is remarkable not just for questioning a murder investigation and conviction but also for condemning the famous true-crime narrative written about them. Morris is a master of the genre, albeit in a different medium (documentary film) and can even claim to have gotten an innocent man out of jail by making "The Thin Blue Line" in 1988. Above all, he is preoccupied with how we establish what's true. His first book, "Believing Is Seeing: Observations on the Mysteries of Photography," dismantles our faith in the facticity of photographed images. "A Wilderness of Error," his second, concerns the case of Jeffrey MacDonald, convicted of murdering his wife and two small children in 1970. The crimes were the center of a bestselling book, "Fatal Vision" by Joe McGinniss, later made into a TV movie, that pressed home McGinniss' theory that MacDonald was a psychopath.

The writing of "Fatal Vision" was the subject of yet another book, Janet Malcolm's "The Journalist and the Murderer," devoted to probing the moral soft spots in all journalists' relationships to their subjects, but Morris believes these murders were insufficiently investigated and that MacDonald did not get a fair trial. Many aficionados of the trial find Morris' arguments unconvincing, but that is partly Morris' point. Just like the cops, outside observers settle on a story about what happened and become invested in it. They then ignore or dismiss any evidence that undermines that story, often with a vehemence that increases as the counter-evidence mounts. Certainty, an emotional state all too common today, is less a testament to the merits of a belief than a measure of how much we want to go on believing it.

At the very least, Morris presents a convincing case that an uncertain McGinniss was pushed into endorsing MacDonald's guilt by his publisher because offering a conclusion would make for a more satisfying book. Later, of course, the author had no choice but to double down on that conclusion, and whether or not he believed it before his editor urged him to declare the case solved in his own mind, he seems to have fully believed it in the end. All this would be meat for an interesting consideration of the nature of truth and whether it can ever be meaningfully detached from desire, but as Morris keeps pointing out, when it comes to true crime, real lives and real justice are at stake. Crime fiction can afford to go on telling us what we want to hear, but at its best true crime insists on telling us what we can't afford to forget.

[labelma]

Say Goodbye to My Demons and All My Break Evens

Sequel to Carry Me Home in Good Health

Read here on ao3

Sometimes you just have a bad day. 

Maybe you miss your alarm and you don’t have time to eat breakfast, or maybe your boss scolds you at work. 

Or maybe you get assaulted by a group of homophobic douchebags, watch a man get stabbed and find out said man married your ex-boyfriend when the ex arrives at the scene in an ambulance. 

Yeah, that sure was an eventful day. 

At the time that it happened, Trevor was just glad someone had come to his aid. All too often people see larger men ganging up on a smaller guy and they walk on by, pretending it never happened. Trevor isn’t afraid to fight back, but well, he isn’t exactly tall or bulky. He doesn’t want to think about what could have happened had Mickey not thrown himself into the fight. 

And then he got stabbed because of it. 

So it’s safe to say Trevor feels a little bad. The guy got stabbed because he came to Trevor’s aid, and well, he wants to thank him somehow. 

It’s just that there’s the nagging awkwardness of Mickey being married to Ian Gallagher. 

Of course Trevor has long since moved on from Ian. Two years removed, he can look back and recognize that their relationship was doomed from the beginning, for various reasons, but not least of all because Ian was still in love with someone else. 

When Ian almost ran off to Mexico with his escaped convict ex boyfriend, Trevor pretty much gathered that Ian was never going to be as committed to anyone as he was to Mickey. 

And Trevor likes to think he’s a non judgemental person, but he had already formed an image in his head of Mickey, before he’d ever met him, and he does think he’s somewhat justified, after all, the first time he learned of Mickey by name, it was from the cops informing Ian he had escaped from prison. 

In his head Mickey was not the kind of person to jump to the aid of a complete stranger. He was not the kind of person to talk about his husband with a fond look on his face, or caress his face as gently as he did. 

Now Trevor’s image of Mickey seems to have flipped on its head. If he’s honest, despite the fact that he has very much moved on, there’s a small part of him that harbored a bit of ill will to the man who broke up his relationship with Ian. 

But well, he doesn’t think he feels that way anymore. 

Seeing them together, seeing the way Ian’s face switched from scared, to worried, to relieved within the space of seconds, and the way they held their foreheads together, breathing each other in, he can’t help thinking that maybe everything worked out in the end. 

So yeah, he feels like he needs to thank Mickey. 

And that’s why he finds himself frantically fanning his smoking oven while the fire alarm blares because he forgot to take the cookies out of the oven. 

Another one of his kids got kicked out of their foster home and he was already at capacity at the shelter. He’d spent all morning calling around to other shelters to see if they could take the kid in, but no luck yet. 

Most of the kids he worked with came from broken and neglectful homes, dealt with abject poverty, childhood abuse, sexual assault, mental illness, sometimes all of it together. As a social worker, he’s been trained to recognize the signs of these things, and he liked to think he was at least competent at his job. 

Which is why he can’t believe all the signs flew right over his head when it came to Ian. 

He realized it some time after his relationship with Ian crashed and burned, that maybe Ian’s background was far more similar to the kids he worked with than himself. 

Ian was so confident and competent when they first met. He was interesting, had an impressive job, and he was hot as hell. He forgave all of Ian’s missteps about Trevor’s gender identity because it was clear he simply had never learned, and Trevor took great pleasure in introducing Ian to a whole world he seemed to have never considered before. 

Still, he should have seen it. He should have recognized Ian’s desperation to please as a symptom of childhood grooming. He should have made the connection between Ian’s age, and his stories of working the back rooms at a gay club and realized Ian must have been underage at the time. 

He’d been so caught up in memories of his own trauma, that when he met Ian’s mother, and saw Ian’s pain he should have been more sympathetic. 

He should have seen it all. 

And he does feel bad. He’ll never say it, but there’s a part of him that feels guilty. Like maybe it was his fault that Ian ended up at the vanguard of a movement he couldn’t control and eventually in prison. 

But the larger part tells him he shouldn’t feel bad. Ian was an adult. An adult who stopped taking his antipsychotics, and made his own bad decisions. That’s the part of him he chooses to listen to. 

And at the end of the day, he was glad to get a clean break from the man who broke his heart, and who he knew would never truly be his. 

The fire alarm finally stops going off, but the cookies are beyond saving. Trevor sighs and decides to just go to the store. 

That’s how he finds himself standing on the Gallagher front porch, a place he never thought he’d see again, holding a pre-wrapped bowl of produce, willing himself to knock on the door. 

It’s a Sunday, so while he really has no idea what the Gallagher work schedules are like, he figures someone will be home. 

Finally he knocks on the door, holding the fruit bowl to his chest with his right arm. 

For a while, nothing happens. With how many people were in and out of this house on a daily basis, someone has to be home. Right when Trevor is considering knocking again, the door swings open slowly. 

Trevor looks down to find a small red headed child staring up at him. She’s got a finger digging up her nose, and she’s considering him with her big green eyes. 

Trevor remembers when he dated Ian that his little sister had a child, a reality which seemed to cause much tension for the Gallaghers. 

She’s still looking at him, totally silent and Trevor isn’t quite sure what to do. Should he leave and come back later? Drop the basket with a note? 

He’s saved from making a decision by a sleepy, very adult voice coming from the region of the couch. 

“Franny, how many times have I told you not to open the door for strangers?” 

A concerned looking Mickey Milkovich appears, hand on the girl’s shoulder. His expression calms when he sees Trevor but then his eyebrows knit in confusion. 

“Um, if you want to talk to Ian, he’s at work.” 

If Trevor had to guess which family member would be left home to watch the toddler, he wouldn’t have guessed Mickey, but his assumptions up until now have all been wrong so he guesses he should just stop assuming entirely. 

“No actually, I’m here for you. I, uh, I wanted to thank you. For helping me the other day. And you know, check in, make sure you were okay.” 

He thrusts the fruit bowl towards Mickey, who doesn’t immediately grab it. 

The girl, Franny wanders off, evidently bored by the awkward conversation happening. 

Mickey reaches for the bowl, considering it with raised eyebrows. 

“So you’re the guy who turned my husband onto Kind bars?” 

And the situation is so damn weird, Trevor can’t help himself when he starts laughing, and can’t stop. 

Mickey looks bewildered for a moment, but chuckles eventually. He steps back. 

“Do you uh, want to come in for coffee?” 

And Trevor’s day can’t really get any weirder at this point so why the hell not.

He follows Mickey through the living room, which looks quite a bit cleaner than it ever did before. Franny is sitting on the couch, enthralled by some cartoon playing on the television. 

They enter the kitchen to find a young black boy who must be Liam asleep, head on a pile of papers. 

Mickey walks towards him, and shakes his shoulder gently. 

“Get up punk, you gotta finish your homework.” 

The boy lifts his head blinking the sleep out of his eyes and groans. Mickey laughs and pours him a glass of juice, which Liam dutifully sips from. His eyes turn to Trevor, first unrecognizing, but then his expression clears. 

Trevor isn’t quite sure if Liam remembers him, so he decides to introduce himself anyways. 

“Hey Liam, I’m Trevor, I used to be a friend of Ian’s.” 

“I remember. You used to date him.” He says matter of factly before turning back to the papers on the table and beginning to write. 

Mickey clears his throat, 

“So, uh, coffee?” 

“Sure, I’ll take it black.” 

Mickey nods and begins preparing two mugs. Trevor hesitates for a second before moving to sit at the table with Liam who doesn’t even look up from his work. 

Mickey sits across from Trevor and slides a mug to him. He takes it but decides to let it cool before taking a sip. 

“So how are you doing?” He asks, motioning towards Mickey’s midriff. The motion is unclear, but Mickey understands. 

“I’m doin’ okay. The knife didn’t hit anything important, I just needed some stitches and antibiotics. It only hurts if I move too suddenly.” 

Trevor makes a noise of sympathy. 

“And you like, had your tetanus shot and everything?” 

“Are you kidding?” Mickey scoffs, “in this neighborhood? You bet your ass my tetanus is up to date.” 

Trevor nods, and the conversation stalls, silence broken only by the scratching of Liam’s pen on paper. 

“And you? Are you okay?” Asks Mickey genuinely. 

“Me? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I’m used to it honestly.” 

Mickey grunts. 

Trevor has never been one to hold his tongue, and so even though he probably shouldn’t, he asks, “Why did you help me? That day I was being attacked? Why did you jump in when you didn’t know me?” 

The room is quiet, even the sound of the pen has stopped, Liam evidently interested in the conversation happening in front of him. 

Mickey lets out a breath and leans back in his chair, considering. 

“I don’t know, I didn’t really think about it at the time. I guess I just know what it’s like to get beat on for being gay.” 

And this has to be the biggest revelation for Trevor, that Mickey is a good person. The kind of person who watches his four year old niece, who assists his brother in law with homework, who helps out someone on the street without thinking. 

“You know, you really aren’t what I expected you to be,” Says Trevor earnestly. 

Mickey huffs out a laugh. 

“Yeah I’m not surprised. You probably thought I was some violent thug right?” 

“Honestly? Yeah I did. No offense.” 

Mickey laughs again, and Trevor thinks that he has a nice smile. 

“None taken. You’re not wrong. That’s what I was raised to be. My father was a neo-nazi, organized crime was the family trade.” 

Mickey is still relaxed, but the information is jarring to Trevor. A gay kid being raised by a neo-nazi sounds like one of the worst possible situations he can imagine. 

“Jesus, and I thought my childhood was rough. I mean, it’s never easy to be transgender, but my parents got used to it eventually. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to be raised by someone like that.” 

Mickey shrugs, but Trevor can see that some tension has crept into his jaw. 

“It sucked, there’s no point sugar coating it. My dad was, still is, a piece of shit, I grew up hating myself, it took a lot of work to unlearn,” his face breaks into a small smile, “I got to where I am today thanks to Ian. I mean, if it wasn’t for him I’d be dead or in prison. Growing up I never could have imagined I would be happily married to a man, with a stable, legal income, but here I am.” 

Trevor smiles, and he finds that what he says next is not remotely a lie. 

“I really am happy for you guys. I mean, Ian and I weren’t right for each other, and not just because he was still in love with you the whole time we were together. Our backgrounds are so different, it just wouldn’t have worked.” 

Mickey scratches his eyebrow, clearly fighting with himself over whether to say something. But he does eventually speak. 

“You know, I am sorry about how things went down when you guys were together. Like I know Ian and I had history, but it always sucks getting cheated on, and it was partially my fault. I knew he was dating someone when I asked him to come with me to Mexico.” 

“I forgive you,” says Trevor, and he realizes that he does, “I don’t know exactly what happened with you two, but if not even prison, Mexico, and a neo-nazi father could keep you apart, it’s clearly meant to be. I’m glad you have each other.” 

Mickey smiles, and his eyes are distracted, mind elsewhere. 

“Yeah, me too.” 

*

When Ian gets home from work, the house is oddly quiet for nine pm. 

“I’m home,” he says loudly enough to announce his arrival, but quiet enough so as not to wake anyone sleeping, he hopes. 

It’s silent for a few moments as Ian drops his pack and peels off his jacket. Then the sound of footsteps on the creaky front stairs draws his attention, and he turns to find his husband walking towards him, a small smile on his face. Mickey’s eyes are soft, and Ian’s breath is momentarily taken away by the thought that he is the only person who gets to see Mickey like this. 

When Mickey reaches him, Ian cups a hand around the back of his neck and pulls him into a brief kiss. 

“How are you feeling? Pain any better?” 

Mickey takes hold of Ian’s hand and leads him into the kitchen where he begins reheating whatever they had for dinner. 

“Yeah, it wasn’t so bad, I mostly spent the day napping.” 

Ian grins, he knows how much his husband loves to nap. 

“Why is it so quiet?” Asks Ian, still confused by the odd stillness of the house which never seems to stop moving. 

“Liam went to bed early, I think he’s spreading himself too thin at school, poor kid. I put Franny to bed at the same time, Debbie said she’d be home late. And I have no clue where Carl is.” 

Mickey places a plate of reheated white people stir fry in front of him, and Ian eagerly tucks in. He loves his job, but it never fails to leave him wiped out when he gets off. 

“Mm, this is good. Did you go shopping today? Where did you get the vegetables for this?” 

Mickey snickers and points his thumb to a basket of fresh produce sitting on the counter. 

“We had a visitor today.” 

Ian knits his eyebrows together, still confused. 

“Trevor came by. Apparently he wanted to thank me, he brought us fresh fruit. What a fucking yuppie.” 

Ian laughs, and to say he’s curious would be an understatement. 

“Was it… okay?” 

It’s not that Ian is truly worried, it’s just that Mickey has a history of being territorial and Trevor can be confrontational and a bit of an asshole. The two don’t mix. 

“Yeah man, it was fine,” Mickey looks at him knowingly, “I invited him in for coffee, we spoke for like five minutes, then he left us with a bunch of produce I don’t know how to use.” 

Ian smiles and takes the hand that Mickey has resting on the table. Ian loves Mickey. Has loved him for years. He loved him when he was a dirty, shit talking punk, he loved him behind bars, but he especially loves the confident man he has become, without the threat of Terry looming over their shoulders, and self hatred long since unlearned. 

He’s living a life his sixteen year old self wouldn’t dare to have dreamed of. 

And despite the ever present pressure of poverty, the felonies on his criminal record, the knowledge that his mental illness will rear its ugly head eventually, Ian is happy. He’s happy because he has Mickey by his side to weather all of it. 

“Hey,” Mickey’s voice pulls him out of his musing, “Stop thinking so hard, you look like you’re going to burst a blood vessel.” 

Ian laughs. He really does love him. And he tells him so. 

“I love you too,” says Mickey softly. His hands come up to Ian’s face and Mickey’s eyes meet his. He pulls him into a soft, lingering kiss. 

Ian breaths in the feeling of Mickey, relaxing against him. Mickey pulls away, resting their foreheads together. 

“Let’s head up to bed. I know you’re tired from work, and babysitting the kids all day really took it out of me.” 

Ian smiles at Mickey, places his dish in the sink and follows his husband upstairs. 

If this is what his future looks like, coming home from a job he loves to a husband he loves even more, Ian thinks he has a lot to look forward to.