#He's tried. But it sounds like a garbled mess lol

[shima-draws]

So are we just playing “send Shima quick doodle prompts to shake off the rust”?

In that case, you can never go wrong with toothcup

AUGH...AUGUGHHG...

I haven't drawn them in YEARS thank you for this

Also like. I know initially my idea was that human Toothless could talk regularly like everyone else. But mute Toothless who can sign is also......so good......

This is Perry's fault for poisoning my brain /j

[seniaasaysstuff]

satoru gojo getting mind-broken by suguru geto and toji fushiguro.

y’all gonna hate me for this🤭 2k words of porn with feelings? Maybe not.

-warnings- nsfw content🔞, mind break, non-con to dub-con to con??? Double anal penetration, rough oral sex, rough anal sex, overstimulation, nipple play, mind shattering orgasms.

I wrote two endings cause my heart couldn’t take it😩‼️ bad ending is first rip lol💀

@princeasimdiya12 thank you for your request!

———————————————————————“Satoru! It's been a while.” Suguru Geto yelled from behind, Satoru Gojo’s old friend who some even used to call them lovers.

Gojo was taken aback at the figure of his old friend and he was so dumbstruck by him that it led to him turning off his infinity.

It was that moment of weakness that got him caught by Suguru Geto. He was sealed in someone’s barrier and swept away.

Satoru tried his best to keep his thoughts in check but it was all a mess. He didn't understand how Suguru was alive. He had killed him. He had mourned him. When Gojo killed Suguru he felt as if a part of him died with him but to find out that he was alive?

Satoru didn't know what to do. His entire body shook. He didn't know what to do or think. It was as if his mind was paralyzed. He looked around the realm and all he could see was darkness.

Sensing someone was there his deep voice rang out, “I can sense that someone is here. Show yourself.”

“My My Satoru quite the observation.” Suguru Geto’s voice rumbled, his tone felt sarcastic. “Did you miss me?” he mockingly whispered but it was as if his voice vibrated through the void-like place.

“Who are you?” Satoru yelled, his voice shook with pain. “I thought you knew Satoru.” the man impersonating Geto spoke as he approached him. Gojo could just stand there as the man got near him. Suguru gently caressed his cheek. “I missed you Satoru,” He whispered, letting his breath tickle Satoru’s ears.

Satoru fumed, he was furious. “My six eyes tell me you're Suguru geto but MY SOUL KNOWS OTHERWISE! SO HURRY AND TELL ME! ANSWER WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?” Satoru shouted, his voice filled with rage.

“Heh!” Suguru laughed. “How'd you know?” he chuckled.

Gojo spat on the man pretending to be Suguru. Suguru’s facial expressions changed. “I was trying to go easy on you but I guess I was being too complacent.” He spoke coldly. “Deal with him.”

The minute those words were spoken, a flurry of men approached Gojo. Satoru wasn't really able to see anything, he tried to fight them but he couldn't do anything. He didn't have his infinity and he was quickly subdued. He felt a weight, something heavy holding him down when he attempted to move. It was something like a chain as it made noise as it dragged.

He was tied around a pillar, his hands bound and his legs spread apart and shackled by chains. One man roughly wrapped a cloth around his mouth. All he could do was move his tongue helplessly underneath the layers of cloth. “Suguru-” he attempted to growl through his gag.

“Nobody can hear ya hon.” A bemused voice that sounded quite similar to the man he had killed a long time ago was heard. Gojo’s eyes widened as he listened to the man’s voice.

“thoji zenin? Is that yuf? I thouft I haf killed you”. Gojo spoke, and his words came out muffled through his gag.

He tried to move his body but was rendered incapable. “Let mhf goh!” His garbled words were unable to be understood by his captors.

“Ya know I’ve always hated ya,” Toji spoke as he slowly approached him with a smirk. He grabbed Satoru’s throat and squeezed it. Satoru flailed around, unable to breathe.

His face had turned blue-purplish and he was on the brink of passing out when Toji let go of his neck. Satoru gasped loudly and coughed. He glared at toji who just gave him a wink. “I was just playin’ with ya. The real pain hasn’t started yet.”

That was the most helpless gojo had felt in the entirety of his life.

The fake Suguru tsked, “Feeling miserable are we?” gojo grunted, “I foud never gif yu the saatishfation.” He garbled through his gag.

“By the end of this, you'll be crying and kissing my feet Toru.” Suguru chuckled.

Toji removed Satoru’s gag. He grabbed him by his hair and pulled him into a rough kiss, sticking his tongue into his mouth and dragging his teeth over his lip. Satoru struggled, trying to move away from toji but Toji’s firm grip on his hair made it hard for him to move.

Suguru approached from the side and dipped his tongue in his collarbone. He aggressively sucked the skin, leaving marks. His hands roamed all over Satoru's body and brushed over his clothed chest. All Satoru could do was wriggle helplessly and whine.

“You're liking this aren't ya? Dirty pervert.” Toji smirked as he squeezed Satoru’s clothed balls making him grunt.

“You're gonna rot in hell.” He spat on Toji’s face.

Toji’s face darkened as he wiped the spit off his cheek. “Yer awfully cocky, aren’t ya? It’s funny. I'm gonna give you a chance okay hon? And if ya fuck up yer dead.”

Gojo pursed his lips and promptly shut up. He would let them think he was going to be subservient and the moment one of them loses their guard he will activate his technique.

“Good boy.” Toji chuckled as he started tearing his clothes off. Gojo sucked in a sharp breath but stood still without any protest.

Suguru began his assault on Satoru’s chest while Toji roughly grabbed Satoru’s jaw and squeezed it until his mouth opened partially.

The second his jaw opened, Toji stuck two of his fingers in his mouth. “Suck,” he demanded, his eyes looking vicious as if daring Satoru to do something.

Satoru gulped and started sucking on Toji’s fingers. Toji shoved them even further making him gag, tears gathered in Satoru’s eyes and saliva ran down his chin.

Suguru’s hands were still swirling around Satoru’s nipples albeit more furiously.

Satoru tried to suppress his moans as his chest was ruthlessly played with. Suguru wickedly grinned as he heard Satoru moan. He leaned down and took his right nipple in his mouth. Satoru’s nipples were sensitive which made him squeak and wiggle. Suguru continued his assault until it bruised.

Satoru sucked on Toji’s fingers at a more comfortable pace, finding comfort in the action almost distracting him from Suguru’s abuse.

Toji’s other hand made its way to his cock. He gently started stroking Satoru, making him shudder. He increased his pace leaving Satoru a whimpering mess.

Toji removed his fingers from Satoru’s mouth and wiped them on his face. Satoru could feel Sugurus's hand on his thigh and shuddered. The touch was so familiar that yet made Satoru lurch. He doesn't want both of them to touch him and he tried to shake Suguru’s hand away but it was unsuccessful. “Relax Toru,” Suguru whispered in his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

Suguru's hands started to creep a little higher, moving behind and trailing his hands over the swell of his ass. He let out a pathetic groan as Suguru’s fingers slipped between his cheeks.

Satorus's body panicked at the intrusion. It was such an unfamiliar sensation that pained Satoru.

“I told you to relax Satoru,” Suguru whispered in his ear as he slowly started to rotate his fingers.

Satoru jumped as his bindings were undone and he was bent forward. Toji shoved his cock inside his mouth while Suguru had his fingers up Satoru’s ass.

“What a slut.” toji cooed, relishing the sight of Satoru, his free hand moved towards his hair and he yanked them, pulling Satoru closer which made Satoru gag on his cock.

“NoOOOO-M’not a slut mmf.” Satoru’s voice came out high-pitched and quite muffled as toji pushed his cock even further past his slack jaw.

Satoru gurgled around his dick, tears were streaming down his face and he struggled to breathe.

Satoru let out a desperate needy noise as he got stretched open by Suguru’s fingers. And he was forced to suck Toji’s cock nonetheless. It was a soothing gesture for Satoru as he could ignore Suguru’s finger against his prostate.

His cock twitched, hips bucking forward as much as they were able to in his restraints.

A familiar feeling of pleasure shot through him, he felt as if he was about to come. He doesn't want it but there was nothing he could do to control it. He tried to shout, cry out Suguru’s name to make him stop but his voice was muffled by Toji’s cock and all he could do was endure it.

Satoru comes, his orgasm rips through him knocking the breath out of his lungs and further making him gag on Toji’s cock. He spasmed and felt fatigued.

Drool ran down Satoru’s chin as his lips parted around Toji’s dick.

Tears gathered in his eyes as toji kept thrusting his hips, hitting the back of his throat.

“Oh, you cry so prettily.” Toji crooned as he amped up his face. Suguru pulled out his fingers and positioned his cock against Satoru’s entrance.

Satoru screamed around Toji’s cock, “PLEASE! Stop Suguru! NO!” his unintelligible words go unheard as Suguru enters.

Suguru placed his hands on Satoru’s hips as he slammed his dick repeatedly inside Satoru.

He made a wanton sound as Suguru’s cock pushed deep inside his ass, stretching his wider. “He’s taking you in well eh?” toji chuckled. Satoru choked on Toji’s cock but Toji didn't stop and continued to thrust inside him.

With a groan, Toji pulled his dick out and spurted cum on Satoru’s face. He scooped some of the cum out and shoved it inside his mouth.

Suguru increased the pace of his thrusts making Satoru’s body jerk. Satoru’s body felt so sensitive. “I can't!” he furiously shook his head and screamed.

“Please stop.” he whimpered, fat tears streaming down his face. Before he could beg again, his mouth was stuffed with his own torn t-shirt. He couldn't speak, It was hard for him to breathe.

Toji walked behind Satoru and stood next to Suguru, “Ya think he's ready to take both of us in?” Toji asked as he guided himself to Satoru’s hole.

Satoru cried out, letting out noises of protest. “Aww don't be scared hon.” Toji chuckled as he shoved his dick inside Satoru. Toji’s hands move to Satoru’s hair and tighten their grip on them.

Suguru’s hand trailed towards his chest again and begin to slowly massage Satoru’s chest and roll his thumb over a nipple. A scream ripped out of Satoru as the both of them pounded into his body greedily.

Satoru’s body went rigid and his back arched, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as the feeling of pleasure and pain engulfed him.

His mind was blank. He couldn't think about anything but the pleasure he was experiencing.

Satoru was vaguely aware of him crying in ecstasy. His body quivered in pleasure, his hole was thrust into over and over again. He drooled and moaned.

His body was a mess, fluids, his and others, leaking out of his body. He heard the men talk but he wasn't able to hear anything.

His body wrung out with pleasure. Satoru wasn't even able to hear the men come, all he could feel was the warm cum that filled up his ass. He could feel nothing but bliss and a feeling of relief that the whole ordeal was over.

Bad ending?

Suguru placed Satoru on the floor and left him lying there when they were done with him. Satoru was tired, he was so tired that he could feel his eyes shut and he fell asleep.

A few moments later a well-built blonde man, Nanami Kento, his colleague showed up to the place, he rushed to him and carried him inside his car with his muscular arms.

Good ending?

Suguru carried him in his arms and led him to their shared room, toji followed behind. He brought out a wet washcloth and cleaned Satoru.

“Did you have fun Toru?” Suguru asked, his eyes forming little crescents.

Satoru looked up at both of them and gave them a droopy smile. “I did,” he said, his eyes drooping. Suguru and Toji joined him on the bed and cuddled him.

“We should do this more you know,” Toji spoke. “What? role play?” Satoru mumbled.

“Naah it hurt me seeing Satoru like that,” Suguru muttered.

“It was fun tho?” toji retorted with a smirk. “Oh yes, seein' ya go crazy on our cocks was fun.” toji added, reminiscing about their escapades.

Satoru blushed and lightly slapped Toji’s chest, “Shut up.” “Aww is my baby Toru blushing?” Suguru cooed. “Stop making fun of me.” Satoru huffed.

[one-boring-person]

Okay so! For the one you wanted nsfw for

This, and Fugitive predator.

Because he’d hug them and go,” alright ooman. Thats all the affection you’ll need for two years.” But the human is like, “OOH???? Oh????????” And just. Goes wild. Lol i hope that makes sense

(And if not thats fine, I just love fugitive)

I hope you like this!

Asshole.

Fugitive x reader

Warnings: swearing

Masterlist

"You know, not everyone is as tall as you. Slow down!" By now, I definitely must be annoying the yautja stalking ahead of me, his steps becoming faster as he tries to decrease the time we have to spend together. 

In way of response, Fugitive brings his hand down on a branch, causing it to flick back and slap me across the torso. Grunting, I stagger backwards, hand grasping at the front of my gear as the air is knocked from my lungs. Up ahead, I can hear the predator let out an amused series of clicks and growls, his head turning to take in my discomfort, to which I flip him off, not that he knows the meaning of the gesture.

"Asshole." I grumble, straightening after checking the gauntlet on my wrist for any damage caused by the branch. Thankfully, the vital data all reads normal. 

"Asshole!" Fugitive mimics, voice twisted and garbled as he imitates me.

Scowling, I keep quiet, falling into step behind the tall yautja as I do so, looking out for the odd mess of plants native to this particular planet, trying to avoid the ones I know to be dangerous. My clothing will protect me, I know, but it still pays to be careful: I've known people who get caught unawares by the nature of foreign planets. Generally they never last long in this profession. Hunters, particularly those who like to keep up with their alien competitors, need to be swift, clever and precise, it doesn't do to be clumsy.

Sighing, I swat away a smaller branch, once again glad for the presence of my helmet as it swings back and catches me round the back of my head, drawing a curse from me. Internally, I'm praying that this leg of the hunt won't last too much longer, as Fugitive and I really don't get along too well. Something just never quite clicked with us, so this decision to group us off together made by the others in the party has been a particularly unpleasant one for us - and not very successful, either. Neither of us have caught anything today, a fact we'll both keep quiet if nothing changes. 

It's sweltering in this jungle, my brow and body drenched in sweat from the sheer heat, making for a very uncomfortable hike through the tough terrain. Naturally, Fugitive doesn't have a problem with this, given his species' particular preference for warmer climates, striding ahead with ease as he stealthily moves through the foliage, dreadlocks swinging with each move of his head. Even with his armour strapped in place he doesn't seem to be affected by the heat, nothing in his movements betraying any possible discomfort. Watching him now, I have to begrudgingly admire the fluidity of his actions, eyeing the flex of his rippling muscles and sinuous limbs, everything about him calculated and careful, clearly on the alert for prey. 

Unfortunately, I have a bad feeling that we won't find any prey today, which means the yautja is not going to be happy.

Being so deep in my thoughts, I don't notice the ground suddenly give way to a cliff until my foot swings precariously over the edge. Shocked, I allow a sharp sound of surprise to escape me, reeling back from the edge before I fall to the ground, far below. 

Glancing up at the predator beside me, I lift an eyebrow before speaking.

"What do we do now?" I ask him, chewing my lip as I observe the surroundings: I can't see any way of getting down safely. 

Fugitive clicks his mandibles beneath his helmet, sounding as if he's stating the obvious. 

"I can't understand you." I clarify, resisting the temptation to roll my eyes.

With what can only be described as an audible sigh, the yautja takes a step back from the edge, before he suddenly pitches himself off of it. 

Frowning in shock, I scramble back to the edge, a cold bolt of fear going through me at the thought that he may not have made the jump down safely. 

Of course, he's standing at the bottom, looking up at me expectantly, perfectly fine. 

Huffing in frustration, I glare down at him.

"How do you propose I get down?" I call down to him, gesturing to the steep drop. 

He makes a beckoning gesture, arms outstretched. Immediately, I know what he means, my heart dropping in my chest at the distance between us, my mind refusing to believe he means what I think he means.

"No! No! That'll kill me!" I shout back at him, shaking my head furiously.

Clearly exasperated, Fugitive tries again, gesturing more fervently now.

"No!" I yell down at him, scowling.

The yautja nods, roaring up to me to reassure me as he widens his stance, arms out and ready to catch me. Watching him, I feel an odd sense of trust well up in me, so I curse myself and line myself up with the cliff, getting inline with Fugitive's position on the ground below. Taking a deep breath, I steel myself, before I take a few steps and leap from the edge of the cliff, my body feeling weightless as the ground falls away from me. 

Fighting the urge to scream, I allow my arms to flail to slow my descent, hoping to hell I didn't misinterpret his instruction. Adrenaline courses through me, each nerve in my body on fire as I hurtle through the air towards the ground, quickly picking up speed as I go. 

Just as I start to think he won't get me, Fugitive steps forwards, arms ready to snatch me from the air, which he does efficiently, pulling me into him to secure me. Instinctively, my arms go around his neck, legs closing around his waist, my body pressed flush to his. 

For a moment, I have to recover, my breathing rough and heavy as I catch it again, body heaving in the yautja's grip. He makes no move to put me down just yet, keeping his hands where they are: clamped around my hips and ass, squeezing lightly. I can't see his expression behind his mask, but I can guess it, even as a conflicted ripple of awkwardness floods through me, my body screaming at me to stay in the warm circle of his embrace, whilst my head is yelling at me to get out before I make things worse. His body heat seeps through my clothes into me, making it difficult to focus until he finally puts me back down again, hands lingering on my body.

Blushing, I look away, almost wishing we could continue the embrace, though I know it will most likely never be spoken of again. Already, Fugitive has moved off, acknowledging my thanks as I call after him, cleafly not thinking too much of the embrace except that it was necedsary to my survival. I can't stop the lurid thoughts swirling through my head as I chase after him, biting them back as I catch up again, falling into step beside him. 

"Not so invulnerable, then, hm?" I comment after a few more minutes, laughing nervously at my own words.

I don't get time to laugh properly as I suddenly find myself pinned to a tree, a leg shoved between mine to keep me up. Eyes wide, I lift a hand to grasp at the arms holding me in place, ashamed of the fact I can feel desire starting to flood my system at his closeness and roughness. 

"Don't call me that." The predator almost snarls at me, the sound sending bolts of need through me, despite the awkward nature of them.

Dumbly, I nod at him, trying to ignore my body's reaction to the proximity of the yautja, not quite recovering properly until he's dropped me back down again. 

Watching him stalk off into the jungle again, I feel a change in mindset about him, a new need to be near him coming to life as I run after him.

[modx-reborn]

feeding mod's compost bin... lol.. but like phantombur likes to watch people while he's invisible, to play playful pranks on them! but when he checks on cat-hybrid!reader (afab or gn) without noticing they were in heat.... god his face flushes red immediately when he sees you hunping your pillow, small whines and moans fill the air while he just stands there, invisible and just touching himself to you enjoying yourself <33 🍰 (also sweet dreams mod!!)

Ooooo!

Considering who your friends are there should have been some form of caution, of waiting till you knew a certain phantom was well and truly not hanging around before you had started to do this, tried to hold off your heat addled need and doubled down on knowing you were alone before you wrecked your bed and made a mess of your best and pillows in an attempt to get yourself off.

But you didn't and now, now you have an audience, unseen and eager to watch you.

He had only meant to come by and play a little trick, a little prank, hide some of your shoes or maybe even separate your socks and leave you with only odd pairs. But God there you were, hands gripping the pillow between your legs, tail twitching and swaying behind you as your hips moved, ears flicking about as your bed creaks with some of your more harsh movements.

How could Wilbur not watch, you liked almost ethereal like this, flushed, mouth open, and panting out small strings of garbled nothing. How could he not join you, slipping a hand down to press against his half-hard cock, sharp teeth digging into his bottom lip as he follows the pace of your hips with his hand, making sure that as he stays as silent as possible, wanting to watch how you unravel alone.

Letting the sight of your thighs pressing the pillow you had been humping further up and into your hips, guide his thoughts into more deprived areas even as he did stand unseen in your room, watching you fuck yourself as he finally took himself in hand hoping that your own sounds would hide the slick sound of his hand around his cock.

Maybe he would come tomorrow when your heat breaks slightly, coo and coax you into his arms, be the one between your thighs over that pillow that lay there currently. Hear these noises of yours in his ears as you take his cock, make you whine for him and call his name, but those were ideas for later but for now, now he would enjoy how broken you look so desperate for something more than your pillow.

Maybe he will get to see what you have hidden away...

[jean-kayak]

Anon Request: heyyy! so like i LOVED the haikyuu x thick black gf, do you think you could do it for the generations of miracles too? if that’s a lot maybe just akashi because i love that man

A/N: Here it is, anon! And I did all of them for you, so I hope you like it! (and yes it is 2 am)

Word Count: 2.5k

Haikyuu!! version here and here!

》Poor baby would be overwhelmed

》He wouldn't know what to do lmfao, and he probably be a stuttering mess when he first meets you

》He's probably nervous to touch you at first because he doesn't really know where to start and because there's so much of you

》But once he gets comfortable enough, he always wants you on top of him or on him in some way shape or form

》He always denies you when you think you might crush him because he really loves the weight of you on him, and he probably prefers to be the little spoon

》I feel like he's not big on getting head, but when you do, he feels like his life has changed

》It feels so good, he doesn't know what to do or where to go lmfao, so he just ends up squirming a ton, the moans he's making completely out of his control

》His body definitely feels like jelly when he cums, and he probably won't move for a while lmfao

》Now when he goes down on you? He was mesmerized by how much slick you had produced and all you guys had done was made out

》He'll just lay there between your legs, gripping your thighs tightly when you squirm under his gaze, but he can't help but watch

》He'll play with your nipples, run his fingers just shy of touching you where you want him just to see if you'll get even wetter

》And when he finally tastes you, he wonders why he wasn't doing this sooner, and you don't think you've seen him move with such enthusiasm off the court before

》He's moaning into your folds, his hands digging into your thighs as he eats you out with more fervor

》In that moment in time, he was content with staying in between your legs for the rest of his life

》But then you finally slept together, and he really thought that the air had been snatched from his lungs

》He can barely last long when he slides in, and he doesn't even move when he bottoms out lmfao, he just rests his face in your neck

》His hands are just scrambling and grabbing all over your body as he tries to stop himself from cumming and he hasn't even moved yet

》He obviously doesn't last long 💀 but he makes sure he cums, and the moment he slides out, he's out like a light lmfao

》And he definitely goes and buys you a ring the next day

》Fangirls, who? Mans forgets them the moment his eyes land on you

》Like seriously, he literally ignores them and only talks to you, walking right past them, and he probably doesn't realize that they're standing there

》Your boobs are definitely his favorite part of you, he'll lay on them, touch them, squeeze them, doesn't matter, his hands are always on them

》He's eccentric in public, but the moment you go down on him, he's nothing but a stuttering mess, moans and whimpers the only thing coming from him

》It literally takes everything in him to not buck up into your mouth, which feels like heaven,

》Puts a hand on your head to try and ground himself because he definitely feels like he's floating

》When he cums, the world seems to just disappear, and you have to rub over his face to make sure he's okay because he hasn't moved in a while

》And after you've made him feel spineless, it's only right for him to return the favor of course

》Once he starts though, he doesn't really plan on stopping and he never does it to just return the favor

》His eyes widen when he realizes how soaked you are when he brushes his fingers over your folds, his ministrations soaking his hand and wrist

》You're producing so much that he can't let it go to waste, so he's sliding in between your legs, and he freezes in shock for a second before attaching his mouth to your folds

》He definitely wants to stay there for the rest of his life, practically drowning in your slick, not really caring if it kills him

》Coaxes you to orgasm quickly just so he can taste more of you, that becoming his only priority

》And he makes sure to catch every last drop, the last thing he wants to do is waste it

》And when he's finally inside you, he tries to chuckle, thinking that there's no way you can feel this good, but it's cut off with a garbled moan

》You really do feel this good, your cunt hot and wet, sucking him back in every time he pulls out

》He feels a shudder run up his spine, his body practically shaking with euphoria as he can't focus on anything else but you

》His eyes roll when you clamp around him, and his orgasm comes out of nowhere, his body going rigid

》He can barely catch himself, his forehead resting against yours as he tries to calm his heartbeat down. "So, you wanna get married tomorrow?"

》Please, this man would have such a hard time making basic conversation lol

》He has a hard time trying to focus on talking to you because he keeps focusing on your body

》Definitely just freezes in place whenever you wear shorts or anything that shows off your thighs

》You're pretty sure you saw his nose bleeding one time, and he brushed you off when you asked, his face as red as a tomato

》He's like Kuroko, hesitantly touching you because he doesn't know what to do because you're so thick

》Once he gets comfortable and over that completely flustered phase, his hands are continuously on your thighs

》You find him squeezing them softly or laying on them, totally mesmerized by how soft they are

》When you offer to go down on him, he's quick to say that you don't have to, but you insist that you want to do it

》Needless to say, he never tries to convince you otherwise again

》The blush on his face spreads down to his chest, sweat coating his forehead as he has trouble controlling the noises he's making

》And the pleasure is so great that he actually goes silent, the only indication that he's cum is when you feel him shoot down your throat

》You actually have to check on him, and you chuckle softly as you fix his glasses, his breathing ragged

》I feel like he's one of the guys who's never really understood the appeal of going down on somebody, but he's not opposed to it

》And his opinion changes when he finally sees how soaked you get from just a tiny amount of foreplay and when your slick lands on his tongue

》You've actually never seen him put more emotion into something, and he's actually urging you to squeeze his head with your thighs, pushing them together as his fingers dig into them

》You actually have to pull him away from you when you cum, the only thing he's focused on is tasting you

》He really doesn't think you could get any better, but then he feels your walls around him, and he feels his heart skip multiple times

》He really doesn't know what to focus on, and he actually forgets to move, and you have to jolt him out of the trance you put him in

》Even after that, it's like his brain has stopped working lmfao, literally the only thing running through his mind is how warm and tight your walls are

》He groans when he sees your slick all over him, and he hits that spot inside of you, making you clench around him and that's what sends him over the edge

》And he didn't even realize he was that close 💀 "Marriage sounds like a good idea, doesn't it?"

》Ooh boy, this man, literally jaw drops open, hits the floor, and then he's quickly running over to you, trying to flirt with you to the max

》He's actually pretty surprised that he managed to get you, but he's definitely showing you off, making sure everyone knows that you're his

》He loves your ass, literally the only thing he'll pay attention to

》So, if you're back is towards him, you can totally forget about him following the conversation

》Expect him to smack your ass randomly, like outta nowhere

》He'll be the pettiest boyfriend in the world saying shit like "I'll do it if you suck my dick" stupid shit like that 🙄✋🏽

》So, then you do...you suck the soul of out him and this man literally buys you whatever you want

》He can't help but cant his hips, thrusting into your mouth, but it doesn't last long because he's cumming after a couple of thrusts, a deep groan coming out of his throat

》While you're making out, he teases your folds with his fingers, but he stops kissing you when he realizes how wet you are

》His attention is quickly shifted to your cunt, as he slides down your body, pushing your legs to your chest before eating you out like his last meal

》He loses himself in your taste, your juices coating the lower half of his face and dripping down his chin

》You whine from the overstimulation when you cum, and he pulls away but once you recover, his mouth is right back on you

》And he'll either be there or fucking you into the mattress, holding your legs in the same position

》His eyes are rolling in the back of his head, trying to hold back as he fucks into you, a white ring appearing at the base of his dick

》How much slick you produce always amazes him, no matter what he does, and it's all he pays attention to as he fucks you

》He cums way too early for his liking, surprising himself

》But at the same time, it's not like he could really control it with how good you feel around him

》He fucking you through his high, bringing you to yours, and then he's pulling out of you, resting back on his haunches

》"Looks like I'm gonna have to marry you."

》This man tries to act like he's not floored by your body, but he absolutely is

》His eyes are always running over your body whenever you're not looking his way

》Your thighs and your ass are his favorite parts; picks you up so that he can feel them around his waist, his hands splayed on your ass

》Is always laying on your thighs, literally does anything while he's in between them

》When you give him head the first time, he's pretty patient because come on now, my mans is packing

》But he jumps slightly in surprise when you fully take him down your throat, digging his nails into his palm when he sees himself in your throat

》He's literally sinking into whatever furniture he's sitting/laying on because he's never been with someone that could actually take all of him before

》He doesn't really know how to react because he's never felt pleasure like this before

》Got this man's legs twitching lmfao

》He doesn't even move after he cums, just lays there, and there's no way you can move him so you just leave him there 💀

》Now, one thing you'll have to be ready for is when he eats you out

》The first time he gets his mouth on you? His snacks are being thrown out the window

》You're his snack now, and he literally will push your legs up and out of his way, and there's literally nothing you can do to stop him

》He gives overstimulation a new meaning when you meet him, and he doesn't let you go until he's gotten his fill

》He's eating you out more so for his pleasure than yours. Period.

》This man is still lazy though, and he makes you do all the work, so he'll just lay back and let you do all the work as you sink down on him

》But then he feels your walls pulsing around him, and his hands are twitching as he tries to control himself

》The only thing he can do is rest his hands on your hips as you ride him, and he really can't do anything else even if he wanted to

》He starts fucking up into you once he starts reaching his climax, a deep "fuck" leaving him as he shoots into you, and you're not too far behind

》"It's not that big of a deal, but you wanna get married?" (It is that big of a deal 🙄✋🏽)

》He tries to seem cool, calm, collected when he first meets you

》He's not like Atsushi, who tries to pretend like he's not amazed by your body

》He's just trying to play off how you affect him

》I feel like he doesn't have a favorite body part of yours, wanting to show love to every part

》His hands run over every single inch, literally no part of you goes untouched by him

》Like Midorima, he's not really all about receiving head, but that confident persona is gone once you go down on him

》He's never been the one to become speechless, but you literally render him just that, his brain completely blurred, the only thing he can think about is how amazing your mouth is

》He starts to back away from you a little bit lmao because of how good he feels, the pleasure building up in his spine quickly

》He squirms a ton when he cums, and that's all he can do lol, and he doesn't deny you in the future if you want to go down on him

》He wants to pleasure you too, so he'll easily go down on you, but he chuckles in disbelief when he sees your glistening folds

》And he's amazed by how it seems like your arousal is endless, the juices coating his tongue and his face

》Moves his hands out of the way so that he can feel your legs squeezing his head like Midorima

》He eats you out with so much energy, smiling against you when you fall apart, living for the feeling of your legs twitching against his ears from overstimulation

》The first time you sleep together, his plans to take it slow are quickly forgotten

》Your walls seem to swallow him quickly, practically sucking him in, and he groans in surprise

》He wants to move, but if he does, he knows he'll cum in record time, but even the warmth and pulse of your walls is nearly enough to send him over the edge

》He just tries to aim for your g-spot just in case he cums way before you are able to, but that only sends him higher because your walls are clamping around him

》He knows he's not gonna last long, and he'll make it up to you later, but at that moment, he picks up the speed of his hips, his eyes slipping shut

》He has to brace himself when he cums, his hands on either side of your hands, his lungs feeling like they can't get enough air

》"Doesn't marriage sound like an amazing idea to you?"

Tags: @that-chick212

[knchins]

Symbiosis - Benimaru & Joker

Summary: Benimaru, Joker, and a former Sister learn how to work through their frustrations with their investigation into the Holy Sol Temple through the one thing they know best: sex.

Pairing: Benimaru Shinmon x Fem!Reader x Joker

Rating: E

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: pwp (I didn't even try this time lmao), spanking, vaginal sex, oral sex, dirty talk/degradation, some dob/sub themes, hair pulling, face fucking. I do not count this as dp but some people might. SPIT ROASTING.

Notes: So I wrote this for @tamcitrus and I hope she likes it! It’s like my most self indulgent piece to date probably lol. Idk how I managed to write this while being barely able to breathe but when the inspo strikes what can you do....First FF/ENS piece! I think they may be a bit OOC but...whatever I’m too sick to care.,

 “So will you join me, Sister?” The mysterious man asked as he puffed on a cigarette. You stared off at the nighttime skyline, at the temple in the very far eastern horizon. Was this something you really wanted to do? It would be dangerous, but you could sense the power coming from him. Not only that, he had already enlisted the help of the Captain of the 7th, Benimaru Shinmon. It wasn’t as if you’d be taking on the church all by yourself.  

 Your mind drifted as the King of Destruction peppered kisses down your bare throat. The mission with Joker hadn’t been entirely successful. In the end they were met with Captain Burns who handed you a journal that belonged to the wife of Raffles I. While it was true you did come up with some new theories about the White Clad, ultimately it felt like a dead end. Now you just had more questions than answers and it was incredibly frustrating.

 But you weren’t the only one frustrated. Your two new comrades had been too. Eventually you had found a way to relieve the tension that had built up over so many years of bullshit. Having been an orphan and raised as a Sister for the Holy Sol Temple, you had plenty of ill will harbored against the empire. You had long abandoned your title but that didn’t stop the two men from egging you on by calling you by it.

 Currently the former assassin was watching through a half-lidded eye as you sat in Benimaru’s lap, your back to his chest as he kissed along your neck and cupped both breasts in his hands. You were already stripped down to your underwear, both men clad in only pants and briefs. Joker tended to observe first before joining in, enjoying taking his time watching the view of Beni turn you on and work you over. Small trails of smoke rose from the lit white stick of tobacco that hung from his mouth.

 “You look so pretty like that, Sister.” He drawled, inhaling another wave of smoke that filtered out of his nose. “You like when he plays with your tits don’t you?”

 “Don’t call me that,” You protested weakly in a voice that came out as more of a moan than a grumble as Beni began to tweak your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. You began to wiggle in his lap, ass brushing against his stiffening cock in a way that had him biting down on your shoulder possessively.

 The cotton panties you had been wearing were soaked all the way through between your legs. This stupid little routine always had you mewling and crying before anyone even bothered touching your needy cunt. Beni enjoyed torturing you too much and Joker enjoyed watching him do it. You had known in the beginning being the only woman in the trio would put you at a disadvantage. You just didn’t know how much.

 “Waka, please.” You gasped as he bit down on your throat this time, sucking a bruise into the skin there. One of your hands moved to try and touch your clit for some form of relief, but he warned you by warming up his hands rapidly. It wasn’t enough to burn you but it was enough to let you know that he would if you didn’t play by his rules. “Asshole.” You hissed, pulling your hand back up to a safe distance. You reached behind him and grabbed a fistful of his hair, tugging it angrily.

 Beni quickly pushed you onto the tatami mat on the floor roughly, holding the back of your head in one hand, pressing your face against the material as he lifted your hips up with the other. He began to grind his erection against the wet fabric of your underwear, seething as he ripped down your underwear so that you were completely bare for the both of them.

 He took no time in slapping your ass in retaliation for pulling on his hair. “Impatient little slut.” He growled, causing you to clench with desire. The way his deep voice reverberated in the small room made you even wetter.

 Joker was laughing lightly at the scene. It was pretty typical for you to piss Beni off. And the cute little squeaks you let out as the captain spanked you was just even more delectable than your moans. He finally stood, dropping his pants and underwear at the same time as he knelt before you. Beni took his hand off the back of your head so you could lift up enough for Joker to grab you by the hair and pull you up onto your hands.

 He always had an affinity for fucking your warm wet mouth. Something about choking you on his dick felt better than either your pussy or ass. It was definitely his preferred hole, not that Benimaru minded. It was easier to punish you if he had total control of your lower half. You could hear Beni remove himself from the rest of his clothing as well.

 At the feeling of his blushed head pressing into your folds, you began to protest. “Beni, you have to-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence as Fifty-Two plunged his dick into your open mouth.

 “How many times do I have to tell you, Sister,” Benimaru spat out. “Only good girls get warm ups.” Then he pushed his impressively large cock into your small hole, filling you up and stretching you out with a familiar but still painful burn.

 Your cries were garbled by the dick in your mouth. Joker was still, watching the different emotions cross your face: panic, surprise, pain, pleasure. The last one had your jaw slackening for him drool rolling off your lower lip as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. Despite the initial discomfort, there was no greater pleasure in this life than the Captain’s cock being buried balls deep into your soaking pussy.

 “This is what you wanted, right little slut?” Beni asked, smacking you one last time as he slowly pulled out and rammed back in, forcing you to lurch forward and deep throat the man in front of you.

 You gagged, making Joker laugh at your expense. “I’m pretty sure that’s what she wanted.” He said, given your hair a gentle pull. You struggled to breathe, tears rolling from the corners of your eyes reflexively. You tried to back away from him to give yourself some sort of relief, walls clamping down tight on Benimaru behind you. He let out a small groan at the sensation, though he didn’t budge as you tried to push back on him.

 “If only the Sisters that raised you could see you now. Choking on the dick of Holy Sol Temple’s number one enemy. I bet you’d get off that too, wouldn’t you, Sister?” Joker asked as he pulled his hips back enough to allow you to breathe. You shot him a pitiful glare at the taunt, grabbing his bare thigh and digging your nails into it angrily. They always loved to tease you when you were in no position to defend yourself. It could be so annoying.

 The pain of your nails tearing at his skin was about on the same level as an insect bite. It was really insignificant to him, and therefore it didn’t cause him to correct his actions. He simply tightened his grip on your hair.

 Beni started to move in and out of you at a quick and relentless place. Though he had been kind enough to let you adjust to his size, he wasn’t a total monster. He only started doing with his regular rhythm when he started to feel you relax around him. The muffled moans spilled from your mouth as your eyes rolled back. Any time he fucked you from behind he was always able to hit that sweet stop with his cockhead, the one that had you weak in the legs and gripping him dear life.

 Both men highly enjoyed the sounds of you sputtering and crying for more, your words a garbled mess due to Joker’s length plowing into you at a matching speed. The first few times you three had indulged in one another, the rhythms were out of sync and almost awkward. But now, they had the routine down pat. They knew how the other one worked and could easily find the best way to compliment the other’s thrusts. This had Beni pushing in while Joker was pulling out and you stayed as still as you possibly could so that you wouldn’t impale yourself on either of them in a painful manner.

 It felt like the pinnacle of symbiosis. Everyone works together for their own gain but not at the expense of the other. In the end no one would be left out or at a loss. You’d have to remember to thank Joker later for gathering the three of you together.

 Beni let out a curse as he increased his pace, using one hand to push locks of sweaty hair from his eyes. Sometimes he was convinced that your body had been made for him. He fit inside of you like a hand in a perfectly tailored glove. The gentle squeeze of your kegels anytime he or Joker did something you found particularly pleasurable, whether it was tugging on your hair, slapping your ass, or degrading you with their words, just made him feel so damn good.

 Any time he was buried in you, regardless of which hole it was, he always became devoid of any rational thought. The sex consumed all of you, the tension releasing with the exertion of their hips. Infiltrating the temple, investigating Hajima, life had just become so stressful lately. This was the only time any of you could truly just let go.

 That familiar tight coil was winding itself up in your lower abdomen, the pressure building with every thrust as you took deep breaths through your nose. “Ahh, Sister,” Joker said through heavy breaths, “You better be a good girl and not swallow right away.”

 Of course you knew what he meant, the way his thrusts became a little less in sync with Beni’s and a little more arrhythmic as he chased after his orgasm. He was the first to come, filling your mouth and throat with warm white seed. He pulled away, still holding onto your hair as you stuck out your covered tongue to show him, the white liquid spilling onto the mat beneath you as you were pounded from behind. Your moans were no longer muffled and were loudly filling the small room. No doubt other members of squad seven could hear you, not that you card any more. Konro was probably just shaking his head at his captain’s antics.

 “Now swallow.” Joker instructed as he sat back on his heels. Your tongue retracted into your mouth and you swallowed every last drop that hadn’t fallen from your mouth. The blissed out look on your face was almost enough to make him hard again, your whimpers as you neared your peak, the needy look in your eyes. Nothing else mattered in this moment but the release.

 You came with another loud cry, collapsing onto your chest as your arms gave out beneath you. Benimaru worked you through it, his balls slapping against your clit had you shaking and sobbing at the overstimulation. A moment later he was filling you up with his own seed, gobs of it gushing out around the base of his cock and onto your folds.

 Joker moved to watch him pull out of you slowly so he could observe the gaping, leaky hole. He let out a low whistle at the sight. “Latom,” He said jokingly, folding his hands in prayer as Beni guided your hips down onto the ground.  Benimaru rolled his eyes at his partner in crime, making sure to soothe the bruise skin of your ass with his rough hands.

 “Get some rest, Sister.” Benimaru said solemnly as he got redressed. “Our investigation resumes tonight.”

 You let out a low groan at the reminder, having totally forgotten that you were going back to Hajima headquarters to try and gather more information. “Fine, just let me take a nap first.” You grumbled sleepily. You couldn’t see the soft smile on his face as he glanced at Joker who nodded back in a silent response.

 Benimaru maneuvered you to his futon with Joker’s help, covering you with a blanket so you could rest in peace. Then in a few hours it would be business as usual.

[midnightmoonkiss]

Painful Stings & Sweet Apologies

Yandere! Izuku Midoriya X Fem! Reader

Summary: Rage fueled by failure, Izuku finds comfort in a bar, only to come home to a broken promise and a furious darling. He didn’t mean for this to happen.

WARNINGS!: blood, violence, alcohol (Izuku under the influence)

Category: Angst, one-sided fluff

Word Count: 9k+

A/N: This is my first yandere fic! I’m nervous as hell, I have no idea if I got this right lol. Though I did spend months perfecting it to the best of my abilities! Hope you enjoy~

Just To Clarify:

You’re both adults

It’s Friday

It’s cold and rainy (naturally--)

Izuku’s bedroom has a walk in closet and a bathroom

the kitchen is off-limits

THIS IS A YANDERE FIC!

Izuku is an obsessive yandere~

Cold, burning liquid rushed down the male’s throat as he gulped at the drink within the short glass.

Whiskey, or more specifically - a Jack Daniels, the honey-brown alcohol that delivered a bitter slap to all those who drank its refreshing nectar. 

It wasn’t his usual drink, and certainly not one he’d ever guzzle like a parched beast.

Hell, who in their right mind would do that? Even with a single sip, it left your chest burning with its heat.

But desperate times call for desperate measures, right?

Or, more of, self-loathing times call for a quick, one-way ticket to Forget-Me Ville and Cringe Island.

The bar he sat at was lively, filled with drunken laughter and slurred speeches of men and women who have been out for far too long.

But it was Friday night, so who cared?

A rainy, cold, sucky, depressing Friday night, one of which his friends tried to make a bit better by taking the pissed off, green-haired hero out for drinks.

They certainly hadn’t expected Izuku, an innocent little guy who couldn’t handle his liquor for shit, to shoot down an entire glass of whiskey.

At first, he ordered a simple beer - a starter drink if you will.

It didn’t take but ten minutes for him to gulp that glass down, and he was onto his next drink - a sangria wine cooler. His typical drink. He always was more of a fruity guy, after all, preferring the sweet tang over the bitter bite.

But as the night raged on, and so did his inner turmoil, he kept ordering stronger and stronger drinks, until he got to the whiskey. You could say he lost his sense of reason a while ago.

He was still seething with rage, not as much as before but the mixture of anger and frustration swirled hotly with the alcohol pumping through his veins and sitting in his belly.

You could say it was keeping him warm in this lifeless atmosphere.

For the first time in what felt like forever, he didn’t think of you, his precious little darling. He could barely think straight, mind occupied with too many thoughts to be able to understand any of them. It was all a garbled mess, one he chose to ignore.

Was that a good or a bad thing? He’d find out later.

But for now?

He needed another drink.

In the beginning, this Friday seemed like it was going to be one of the best he’ll ever have.

For months this pro hero has been working alongside detectives with catching a murderous villain known by the name “Ghoul.”

They were sick and twisted, their motives unknown, their trail hard to tract.

He had only one encounter with them, but he was too late to catch them.

That’s the day he was brought in to help aid the case.

But, that day haunted him for weeks. He knew that if he had arrived at the bloody scene sooner, he could have captured that cannibalistic fuck, brought justice to those who had already died by their mangy hands.. and prevented the deaths that would ensue after.

He’d known horrible villains before, but this one was different. Their teeth were sharp, blood permanently stained their clothes, and they gave off a wolfish vibe. Yes, a hunter. One who tore flesh from human bones and munched on it until someone screamed in terror for help.

For months he helped gather intel, piece puzzle pieces together, aid with location predictions and stakeout missions, until finally - they found that bastard.

It was more of a hunch than anything really, that Ghoul would show up to that site.

Ghoul, while hard to track, left a pattern in their wake. They avoided certain areas, thrived where the poor were at their weakest. The murders always seemed to happen at the exact same time behind run-down fast-food restaurants.

It was unclear if the sicko liked a hearty human meal with their victims own stomachs filled with greasy, fattening food, or if it was just convenient to them, either way - the perp was too damn sloppy.

To regular ol’ police personnel, the murders would just always happen there, behind restaurants.

But after Deku’s team began tracking where each and every murder occurred, it was quite easy to tell they were drawing, funnily enough, a circle around the city’s map.

It was stupid, childish, and downright idiotic, but damn if that didn’t lead the team to find the cold-blooded killer.

Adrenaline and pure hatred for the villain fueled Deku’s onslaught of attacks, each seemingly more powerful and less calculated. His mind was muddled.

He was filled with rage, finally being able to see the shitty excuse of a human again, but it affected his movements. He was being hasty, careless, not his usual calculated self.

And that’s what brought him his demise.

His shoulder was harshly bitten, razor-sharp teeth tearing through the fabric of his suit and shredding up the skin on his shoulder. Their quirk pumped through his blood instantly, making him collapse onto his knees, paralyzed. He hissed in pain as the sickeningly warm liquid flowed down his arm, unable to stop himself from face planting onto the dirty gravel of the alleyway.

He had lost, and Ghoul got away.

He still remembers it, after all, it was only hours ago that it happened.

The sun had long since set, the crescent moon hung high in the sky as her stars shimmered around her. His wound was stitched up and healed by doctors, leaving only a bitter scar to remind him of his failure.

He failed not only himself but those who counted on him.

God, he sucked.

And so, he ordered another drink.

He wanted to forget. He didn’t want to feel the failure sting at his fragile heart anymore.

It was too much to take.

What type of hero let the villain get away, knowing full well that they would kill again?

They couldn’t track Ghoul’s trail anymore, for the circle had been completed - and they were left with nothing with the numbing feeling of brutal loss.

Hours blurred together as his mind went hazy. His speech slurred together, dull, green eyes unfocused and mouth blabbering out nonsense to his friends that he couldn’t even really hear. It just- came out. 

Soon enough, he was being dragged out of the bar by his annoyingly sober friends.

The night had gotten colder since they first entered the warm bar, rain pelted down like freezing bullets flying from a machine gun. A dirty old awning kept them dry as they stood still at the front of the bars entrance, the loud music bouncing off the walls inside echoed down the empty streets.

Heavy streams of salty rainwater poured off the edge of the awning, splattering down into a mud puddle that emptied into the sewer grate below.

Who doesnt love the musty stench of rain on asphalt?

Hell, the smell itself, combined with the strong yet savory scent of the Korean barbeque joint across the street was enough to make him nauseous. He had drank far too much, and his stomach was suffering the consequences. He should have eaten more before drinking. How foolish.

 “It’s pretty late, you should head home.” Reasoned his best friend, Todoroki, puffs of condensation leaving his mouth as the warm breath met cold air, pressing a freezing hand to the back of the freckled boy's sweaty neck to jolt his drowsy, drunken self into a more alert state. Nothing but time could sober you up, but damn if that hand didn’t help slap some energy into him.

“Yeaahh, ye-yeahhh.. I gooht you Todooroe.” God, he sounded like someone high on anesthesia after being awoken from a surgery - which he definitely would be able to compare this experience to. Being a hero meant at least a few surgeries a year. Comes with the job.

Plus, this wasn’t the first time he’s been drunk.

He sure as hell hated the aftermath, but some nights it felt as if the hot burn of alcohol was the only thing that could keep him sane.

This was just one of those nights - or perhaps it was multiple nights slammed into one from just how stupidly drunk he was. The world was blurred, and Izuku doubted he could even walk straight at this point.

The half and half hero waved down a stray taxi, street water splashing up onto the sidewalk as the yellow vehicle came to a screeching halt.

“Get home safe.” Todoroki sighed out his nose at seeing his friends out-of-it state, helping the giddy and jelly-like hero into the back seat.

Izuku pouted, grabby hands clinging onto his friend's shirt in protest.

With a half-hearted chuckle, Todoroki pried himself free from his grip, handing the cab driver more than enough yen to get the drunk boy home.

He gave the taxi driver an address, and soon the car was rolling off down the street, Izukus flushed face pressed against the cold, fogging glass and staring with eyes full of tears at his friend.

Though, it seemed as if he had forgotten a promise he made to someone very important to him. Someone who he devoted his entire life to.

Someone who he risked everything for.

You.

His princess who had been locked in a small, dark room all day, wrists tightly cuffed to loose chains on the wall. The only light provided was a rusty oil lamp Izuku had gotten at a yard sale one day. The flame was dull, and left the room covered in shadows.

The tile below was as cold as it had been since the morning when Izuku had forcefully chained you there for misbehaving the night before.

You had deserved this punishment for disobeying him.

That’s what he tried to convince, anyway.

He was only trying to keep you safe! He hated punishing you, hated the way you thrashed and screamed at him in protest - that only meant he had to be rougher with you. You had broken into the most dangerous room in the apartment, afterall.

The kitchen.

There were far too many harmful objects in there!

Knives that could slice your delicate skin to shreds, forks that could jab into your body, hot stoves that could leave you with a nasty burn, and canned food stored too high up on the shelf that could fall and hit your head.. It was for your protection that the kitchen was off-limits to you!

Plus, Izuku, your oh-so kind and sweet boyfriend, had no problem with cooking you meals to eat together. In fact, he loved it!

He felt accomplished whenever you'd hum in approval at his cooking, or even turned on if that slutty mouth of yours just so happened to moan around your utensil. 

Those were the nights dinner was forgotten.

But you had been foolish, entering the kitchen for a midnight snack whilst Izuku was out on patrol. Your sneaky little self thought you were clever, leaving no trace of your betrayal.

Until you were awoken hours later by a green glow, blood running cold as a pair of murderous neon eyes stared into yours.

It had to be one of the scariest sights to date.

His pupils were shrunk, green electricity buzzing around his large body. He hovered over your trembling body, a wrapper in between his two gloved fingers.

He was so close, your noses brushed together.

You swore he could see into your soul, as well as see the fear in your (E/C) eyes.

“What is this, (Y/N)?” He had asked innocently, hurt coating his words.

“I-” you wanted to make an excuse, protest, say it wasn’t yours, but every single letter died on your tongue as his face pressed closer, a sadistic smile overtaking his features.

“You didn’t.. You didn’t go into the kitchen, did you?”

His hot, minty breath blew all over your face as he spoke, and you shriveled back in fear as insanity crossed his expression in that way you were far too familiar with.

The giggles bubbled in his throat as he tried to fight logic with delusion, “It wasn’t you, right? Someone broke in, didn’t they? You wouldn’t break my trust, would you?”

His voice was cracking, fingers digging into the flesh of the bed beneath you as his eye began to twitch.

He stared down at you, curly green hair brushing against the sides of your face, waiting far too long for an answer he would never get. His bottom lip wobbled, feat tears welling up in his eyes and falling onto your pale cheeks as his body shook with anger and sadness.

He was already stressed about the following mornings mission, and to come home to his princess betraying his trust was not something he enjoyed.

And so, you were punished.

But he had promised you wouldnt be locked in there for long, he knew how you feared the dark. He had conditioned you to fear it, after all. It was his greatest accomplishment.

You were always so willing to cuddle into him when the lights were off.

A few hours turned into nearly an entire day, the only indication you had of this was past experiences, skin around your wrists rubbed raw from the metal cuffs, and the unusual sting of your ass and bare legs burning from the freezing tile beneath you.

That was the least of your worries, though.

Worst of all - the flame, which was holding you together and keeping you from crying out for help to those who might hear you in this soundproof room, which would no doubt get you a harsher punishment, was about to die out.

That flame, albeit small, was your only hope of surviving this.

Izuku was typically a very reliable person, it was strange for him to not keep his word to you. He devoted his being to you, worshipped the ground you regrettably walked upon, why would he break his own promise?

The thought of being trapped in the dark, the echo of your chains taunting your delirious mind had you close to tears. You didn’t want to be alone here anymore.

You watched in horror as the flame got smaller and smaller, tears now rolling down your cheeks as you pleaded under your breath for it to last longer.

The air vents around you provided enough oxygen for it to survive, but that damn oil..

Where was he?! 

Suddenly, the door to his apartment flew open, giggles seeping through the house and teasing your ears.

Then, there was no more light.

A screech tore from your throat, a desperate call of his name as you thrashed around, tears pouring from your eyes.

You felt as if you couldnt breathe as your head whipped around the space, desperate for more air and light as your lungs seemed to scream.

You couldnt feel the cold chill of the floor anymore, body numb as adrenaline pumped through your veins.

What was in the dark?

How big was this space again?

Rather, how small was it?

What was that noise?

Did something just touch you?

There was wind, there was wind, no. A cold chill?

Oh god what was that-

Loud, clumsy footsteps made their way closer and closer to the locked metal door. You sobbed as your heard the jingle of keys, metal scraping against metal as he fumbled with inserting them into the lock.

Until finally, you were basked in the honey-dew glow of the bedroom.

You fought to control your breathing as he dropped to his knees, taking far too long for your liking to get the cuffs off.

But at least now you know why he took so god damn long.

You could smell the putrid miasma of alcohol wafting off him the moment he stepped into the darkroom, tainted with the salty effluvium of rainwater as it dripped onto your skin from his damp, messy hair.

Rage bubbled inside you as he giggled once more at your tear-stained cheeks, “D-did yoou miss mee?” He slurred, a giddy smile on his face as the stale stench of what he had been drinking all night circled around your head like a rotten wreath.

Instead of answering, like you knew you should have, you turned your head towards the door, soaking in the light you were previously deprived of. Even if it was just a mere minute.

At your silence, his smile quickly turned into a frown. Big, forestry green eyes welled up with sadness, bottom lip trembling, “(Y-Y/N)?” He couldnt help but reach out, scarred fingers wishing to wipe away those stray tears from your face.

You missed him.

That’s why you were crying, surely.

He wanted to comfort you, say that he was there now and that you could both cuddle until twinkling dawn.

You weren’t alone anymore.

He was all you needed, and he was right beside you.

He’ll always be there for you, and you’ll always be there for him.

Because you love each other.

“D-Don’t cry-”

His cold hand was smacked away, and his usually sturdy body was shoved back so that you could scramble out of the freezing closet.

You needed space.

More room to breath.

To be on flooring that didnt feel like ice cutting into your flesh.

Hell, you were sure the skin that had the unholy misfortune of touching the floor were burned red at this point from how long you had to sit there.

Not to mention your poor wrists, you couldnt even bear the sight of them being so raw. You were pretty sure they would bleed if you even touched them. Your body was screaming in pain, stomach growing for food, mouth parched from not being given water so that you wouldnt make a mess on the floor.

You were weak, shaking, and afraid.

That bastard had the gall to say not to cry, to look concerned when he knew damn well how much you absolutely despised the dark.

At first it was a childish fear, but the moment he snatched you from your regular life, that fear became a reality. There were countless nights you’d be punished by being left alone in the dark.

He didnt want to hurt you, no, and he never has, but damn if he hasnt conditioned you to be afraid. 

Storms were the worst.

What was once a peaceful white noise turned into a terrifying nightmare once the moon rose in the sky.

There were times you were locked in that closet during violent storms, screaming and begging to be let out.

Sometimes you were, other times you werent as lucky.

Though it was only raining right now, each pitter-patter of the droplets against the window or balcony made hairs on your neck stand up. The sound was previously muted in the closet, but now it was hitting you like a freight train on a track that never seemed to end.

You heard him scramble to his feet as you wiped your tears away, the creak of the floorboards as he stumbled towards you.

A subtle bang made you jump, his foot no doubt hitting the chest at the end of your bed. Everso the clumsy one, even in an illuminated room.

Suddenly, he was right behind you, arms wrapping tightly around your middle as his head dropped to your shoulder, nuzzling his cheek against your neck.

Perhaps it would have been pleasant, comforting, even, if he wasnt soaked to the bone. The cold water from his dark grey, long-sleeved sweater was now seeping into your own thin clothes, freezing wet hair sending shivers down your spine and it presses against your heated, sensitive skin. Some drops even went down your back, ripping a gasp from you.

This wasnt comforting at all.

This was suffocating.

You squirmed in his grasp, desperate to get the hell away from him.

You were already pissed, and him wrapping around you and squeezing you tight like a snake to its prey was the cherry on top of your disastrous sundae.

With a grunt, you used the rest of what little strength you had left to rip yourself free from his ‘hug,’ nearly tripping on your own two feet as you rushed away from him.

He pouted at you as you shoved yourself into a corner of the room, finding comfort in being able to see all around you, no surprise attacks from behind, only what was in front of you.

Your breath was heavy as you glared at him, nostrils flaring and jaw clenching.

Truly, you had some nerve.

But it was hard to help it.

He broke a promise.

He never does that, and yet in your time of need- he wasn’t there for you.

For once.

He knew damn well you were locked up, scared shitless, expecting him to return home in a few short hours, yet here he is - looking absolutely clueless as to why you were suddenly so angry at him.

Tears streamed down his drunkenly flushed cheeks, hurt by how you shoved him away again.

All he wanted to do was snuggle you, his body exhausted yet numbed by the alcohol still burning in his tummy.

“Where..” you started, voice low, scratchy, and dripping with venom that reached deaf ears. “Where have you been!”

Just as he was about to open that mouth of his, no doubt about babble nearly incoherently - form logical excuses with evidence to back him up, say he lost track of time which you know damn well he never did, you shut him up.

You hated dealing with him when he was drunk, hell - you hated dealing with his obsessive ass most days.

But drunk? Drunk he got worse. He was clingy, more emotional, and worst of all? He didn’t have a filter.

He always managed to hide those more sinister desires under that sweet mask of his - until alcohol brought it out.

God, the smell of it made you sick to your stomach, but luckily you didn't have any food to throw up.

No thanks to him.

“What the fuck, Midoriya?!” You leered at him, noticing quickly the way his eyes darkened in that way they always did when you referred to him by his family name - the name he hated being called by you of all people.

“I’ve been trapped in that room all goddamn day! You said it’d be a few hours? What the hell happened to that! Look at the fucking time! Nine hours! Nine hours I’ve been stuck in my own personal hell! I can’t feel my fucking legs because of you!”

“I-” he attempted to start, the firm grip he had on his sanity quickly loosening with every shout you threw at him.

You cut him off, again, pent up rage now overtaking your sense of reason and fear, “What the hell happened?! You know what! I don’t even care! Not only did you,” You pointed a trembling finger at his stilled body, “break a promise! Something you swore you would never fucking do, you also had the nerve at laugh at me as I was trembling in fear!”

You looked like a mess, body shaking and bent over itself, one arm clutched around your waist as if to hold yourself together as that accusing finger stayed trained on him. Your hair was messy, frizzy, soaked with sweat and oily as hell from being denied a shower. Your clothes, thin and girly - much to your utter distaste, but to his satisfaction - now damp thanks to his carelessness.

All of this was because of him.

It always was.

Every single thing that went wrong in your life always seemed to be because of him nowadays.

You couldnt believe you let yourself fall for that misleading smile all those years ago, only to end up like this.

A mouse in a lions den.

But hell if that would stop you from squeaking your heart out till his razor-sharp claws ultimately caged you back in.

“Do you see my wrists?!” with a strangled sob, you held up both of your arms to show him the mess he already knew was his fault, “look at them! They hurt so fucking much because you left me in those disgusting handcuffs! This is all your fault!”

Your knees were wobbling so bad you swore your legs would give out at any second, but you’d be damned if you didnt hold your ground to this lunatic.

True, some days he was nice, normal, even. But days like these, or days much worse, you were reminded of just who he really was.

A monster was stretching it. He never intentionally tried to hurt you, your friends, or even your family.

No, he just stole you from your apartment in the dead of night, convinced the reason you were crying was because of the thunderstorm and not because some psycho snatched you from your window like some sort of 1970’s movie trope. That night he cradled your thrashing body to his hard chest with his strong arms, cooing at you and whispering sweet nothings into your ear as you begged to be let go. You were just scared of the storm~ He would keep you safe~ He is the number one hero, afterall~

That was all utter bullshit, straight from the beginning.

And even now he was still wrapped in the delusion that you loved him as much as he loved you.

A fated pair.

Please.

But you still held on to the pathetic hope that one day he’d snap out of it, return to the Izuku you knew from the beginning and not the person who now stood a few feet in front of you, staring with cold, emotionless eyes.

“I’m sorry.” he says impassively, face as blank as a new canvas - unreadable and dangerous in every way imaginable. It was hard not to feel as if he was just waiting to strike, already calculating his next moves like he always seemed to do. It was far easier to deal with an angry Izuku than one where you couldn’t read his already complex emotions, thoughts, anything. He was the definition of expressive, and it truly took a fuckin bullet to the back of his head for him to be like this.

So clearly, you hit a nerve.

Wonderful.

“Oh?” Despite knowing the implications of the situation you found yourself in, it was impossible not to laugh at such a pathetic fucking apology.

Knowing him, he probably was sorry, deep down inside. You knew he didn’t like seeing you hurt, especially if it was because of his doing, and yet- you pressed on. 

Pent up anger was a nasty thing to deal with, especially since it’s been brewing inside you for so long.

“Are you now? You don’t fucking seem sorry! If you were really sorry, you wouldnt have done it! But look where we are! You’re such a fucking-!”

“Shut up.” he growls out borderline maliciously, stumbling slightly as he turns to walk out the door. He was clearly fed up, his strong hands clenched into threatening fists, but so were you. Even if you were undeniably frightened to confront him, you wouldn't let that stop you from pushing yourself off the wall - your safe space - and wobbling after him.

“Look at you! You can’t even walk right! How drunk are you, huh? Washing away your feelings again, are you? What about my feelings! Huh?!”

You were pushing it.

You really were.

The entire house felt it, the air chillingly still as Izuku had to grind his teeth together so as to not lash out at you. 

He didn’t want to.

That was the last thing he wanted to do, but all that stress and self-hatred previously washed away was coming back up to the burning surface that cages his discretion.

Heavy breaths blew out his nostrils as he made his way to the living room, desperate for you to get the hint from his hunched over body that he wanted you to fuck off.

Yeah, he messed up, deep down he knew he did but currently his mind was far too clogged to even begin to comprehend it.

You were like an annoying mosquito, your words morphing into a persistent buzz.

He was ignoring you, and that made you livid.

He always ignored you when your problems were deemed irrelevant, or when he found you were being far too vexatious.

He always did this, always.

You were trapped in a cell with some asshole who didn't even want to listen to you.

Obviously, you had enough.

Typically you’d back off, go fume in another room or punch the wall till the skin around your knuckles tore open and dripped blood everywhere, making him snap out of whatever state he was in just to suffocate you in his toxic love.

Oh how life proved to be full of surprises.

A low growl of your own slithered passed your teeth, eyes practically burning red as if you prayed you had a quirk that could do something against him.

“You’re a selfish bastard! You fucking piss-poor excuse of a hero-!”

SLAP!

A shrill scream tore from your raw throat, the echo of skin burning against skin dizzying you as you were thrown back onto the floor.

Boiling hot tears streamed down your face as you sobbed out of pure fear, body shaking uncontrollably and you shuffled backward, desperate to get yourself as far away from him as you could currently manage.

It had all happened so fast, you didn't even have time to register it as it occurred.

One moment his hands were gripping the back of the couch with such strength you could see his knuckles turn a ghostly white, and the next, crackling, neon-green lightning surrounded his body, illuminating the dim apartment in a slimy glow. Before you even had a chance to register just what happened, he whipped his head around, his eyes, typically blown wide with sickening love and sparkling under delusional illusions, were narrowed and glowing in a way that sent shivers of immense regret down your spine. His arm whipped back with his hand, the very hand that delivered a painfully paralyzing slap.

He always spoke with his hands, and you just happened to be too close to him at that moment.

The reddended skin of your cheek burned, and you swore you could feel more than just tears streaming down it.

You were stuck shaking on the floor, imaginary bile rising in your throat, and all you could do was stare at him with wide, bloodshot and terrified eyes.

He had never laid a hand on you like that before, you didnt know what to think.

He always promised to do you no intentional harm, to never lay a finger on you with intentions of making you cry out in pain.

He had never acted so feral and out of line before.

It.. it scared you in a way you never felt before.

The gap between you grew, you really were just a mouse trembling in a lion's den.

“P-princess-” he shakily called out, voice weak and uneven, quirk diminishing into thin air like it never was there in the first place.

His own eyes were wide and filled with immense regret, tears already pouring down his flushed, freckled face.

He took one step forward, and you scrambled back, hand coming up to touch at your cheek, shock making you feel faint at the sight of blood coating your trembling fingertips.

You felt sick once again, empty stomach feeling as if it was collapsing in on itself to push even the tiniest bit of nonexistent food out.

You didnt know what to do.

Choking on your own sobs, you tried desperately to shuffle away from him, but he only came closer.

You cried out the moment he dove at you, your hands clasped together tightening against your chest as if to hold yourself together as this bear of a man wraps his arms cold, soaked arms protectively around you, his large shoulders violently shaking as he buried his snotty, tear stained face deep into your unruly tresses.

The stench of alcohol burned your nostrils, edging you on to try and push his heavy chest away. You tried, but you failed miserably, resulting in his arms pulling you even closer to his sweaty and damp body. It was disgusting.

“L-let go of me!” you wailed, your own tears stinging your eyes as your vision blurred and you could no longer tell just what you were staring blindly at, the dimness of the living-room paired with the suffocating embrace of your captor swallowing you whole.

You couldnt take it.

You could barely breathe at this point.

“p-p-ple .. plea-s-se..!” your cries intertwined with his own desperate ones as he babbled nearly incoherently on about how sorry he was, how he never meant to do something so horrible.

“I’m not a monster!” he howled out, desperate words seeping with ululation.

He was desperately trying to convince himself of that.

He wasn’t talking to you at all.

He was talking to himself.

He wasn’t a monster.

He wasn’t a monster.

He’s not like him.

He’s not like that piece of filth.

No, he’s so much better.

He’s a good man.

No, no, he’s not a monster.

He’s your hero.

He could never purposely harm you.

No.

It was an accident.

An accident.

You’d understand.

He knew you would!

You always understood him.

You were like two peas in a pod!

You forgave him, surely.

Yes.

Yes!

You did the moment he hugged you, the moment he started comforting you.

He was a good man.

How could you not forgive him?

He loved you so, so, so much.

You knew that-

You knew he would never do such a thing.

His breathing was even, eyes wide and straining as he stared at the floor, a crooked smile on his face as he repeated the words over and over again in his twisted mind.

He never met to hurt you.

No.

He didnt.

“Plea-” you tried once more, biting your wobbling lip as he squeezed you even tighter.

“No, no, no, no, no, no..” he heaved out, hand coming up to gently pet your oily hair as if to calm you. His head shook back and forth in your hair, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m so sorry, honey.”

There was nothing you could do.

You were stuck alone in a mouse trap, the cold, metallic bar snapped down on top of your frail neck.

There was no escape.

There never was.

His form of ‘love’ far too strong for you to even attempt to.

And so, you gave up. 

Just like you always did.

There was no point in resisting him.

Sticky blood trickles down your raw cheek, dripping down onto the chilled bare skin of his neck, still cold from the damp clothes he wore, instantly catching his wondering attention.

“You.. you’re bleeding?” he whispered guiltily, already feeling a new wave of salty tears building up in the corner of his eyes.

His large left hand trailed up the skin of your neck, idly collecting the thin trail of red liquid onto his fingertips and smearing a path up to your jawline, stopping the moment your shivering form flinched.

He frowned at the red mark taking up half your beautifully innocent face, a small cut resting in the middle of it where no doubt the ring he foolishly wore as an accessory swiped.

Guilt made his stomach churn, the familiar burn of acid rising in his throat.

A deep inhale, and he swallowed it down, arm still wrapped around you, languidly rubbing your back as he stared with nothing short of pity at your wrecked state.

Your lips wobbled, holding in a reply as you force yourself to look into the vast abyss of darkness that was the hallway of your apartment instead of his orbs gleaming with concern.

Concern.

Concern for something he caused.

At least he had a heart, but you were still scared shitless and wanted nothing more than to run away. You were still fighting to regulate your breathing.

His thumb suddenly pressed against the slap mark, ripping a yelp from your throat as your head flung back to avoid any more contact. It was then that you noticed a pounding headache echoing inside your skull, yet another reason to aid in the water running down your face. Pain consumed your body, and you wanted nothing more than to escape this shell you were trapped in.

Openly chewing on his lip, both of his arms went back around you, cradling your delicate form to his chest.

Without a word, he stood up, practically forcing you to have to wrap your bare legs around his waist to keep yourself steady, something you were trained to do by him. He loved it when your legs were around his waist whenever he picked you up.

It became a regrettable second nature.

Heavy foot steps brought you back to your bedroom, and then into the bathroom connected to it.

Your fears crept up your spine at the pitch black room you were forced into, remembering how you were in a similar position just a few minutes ago.

When would this cycle end?

Ah. 

It wouldnt, would it?

You were set delicately down atop the cold marble counter as if you were a fragile piece of glass, which, in many ways, you were. The tears had at least stopped, but your body continuously shook like a chihuahua, your breathing still hard to control as fumbled around mindlessly with your fingers to serve as a distraction.

He flipped the light on, momentarily blinding your sensitive gaze with its bright light.

Sniffing, you wiped at your nose, watching as he walked about the bathroom, grabbing a wash cloth just to run it under cool water. The rain was still heavily pouring just outside the wall mixed with the loud splatters of the stream against the white sink. It would have been calming had cold water not splashed up onto your bare thighs, making goosebumps prickle along your skin. Your thighs were nearly numb at this point.

After ringing most of the water out, he held it up to your cheek, staring at you.

Taking the cue, you hesitantly took the cool, wet cloth from his grasp and gingerly pressed it to the swelling skin on your face. You hiss out in pain, dry sobs wracking your body at the stinging pain and the fact that he was still far too close for you to currently handle.

The pain on your cheek paired with the numbing cold was a good distraction.

You chewed on your lip as you squeezed your eyes shut, freehand gripping tightly at the hem of your shirt as you listen to him fumble around in the cabinet hanging over to the left.

You jumped the moment you felt his larger fingers ghost over the ones holding the cloth to your cheek, cautious (E/C) eyes opening ever so slightly as you looked over at him.

You couldnt help but feel idiotic as you suddenly felt flustered at the intense gaze he was giving you, eyes now gleaming viridescent in the white light of the bathroom almost staring right into your soul.

It was like he was reading you, pulling words off your own frail pages just so he could recite them to you.

He did this often.

Keeping silent, staring for long periods of times as he tried out scenarios in his head of the words he was going to say.

It gave you chills, but yet, it made you feel like you were the center of his drifting attention.

The sun his planets revolve tirelessly around, repeating the same cycles like a record forever skipping on repeat.

In these moments, though, he became an enigma.

Not exactly something your fragile state of mind entirely needed right now.

You shivered when his palm came to cup your soft jawline, thumb absentmindedly tracing over your parted lips.

His mouth opened, ready to say something, but he stayed quiet.

Mouth shutting, he leaned forward, tentatively bringing you into another hug.

“I’m sorry.” he repeated, the words nearly as quiet as your stilled breath, but you had nothing to say to it. And he knew it.

He was used to you staying silent.

He would prefer it most of the time.

So he could sink into his fantasies, the deluded fantasies that you loved him wholeheartedly, that you chose to stay silent as to not hurt his feelings, and always forgave him no matter what.

That you would forever and always be his.

He wouldnt give you the choice not to be.

He wouldnt let you leave when you’re his favorite person in the whole wide world.

The only one he needed.

And he was the only one you needed.

Yes.

Of course.

You didn’t need anyone else but him.

And he didn’t need anyone else but you.

So what if a few more people died because of his mistake, he would capture Ghoul eventually. Regardless, he would always come home to you.

Always.

And that’s all he needed.

He chucked against your neck, having buried it in the crook as his mind slipped through his shaky fingertips.

The Big Bad Wolf and his Little Red Riding Hood.

God how he loved the comparison.

Perhaps he was addicted.

Addicted to you.

Even now, as he inhaled your sugary sweet, natural scent stained with the metallic smell of dried blood.

Pulling back, he gazed into your hesitant eyes, delicately resting his forehead against yours.

His hair, now dry and no longer dripping with salty rain, tickled your skin, making you involuntarily take in a deep breath.

Closing his eyes once more, he soaks in the moment of your warm body in his frigid embrace, nothing else mattered to him.

Just you.

Only you.

“L-let me see your cheek,” he asks softly, words not as wobbly as before,  afraid that if he spoke too loudly in such a thin atmosphere, everything would shatter abruptly like glass.

Your body moved on instinct as if you were used to doing as he asked immediately no matter what, pulling the cool cloth away from your burning cheek.

Resisting the urge to sniffle and flinch away, you allow him to rewet the cloth, holding still as he dabs lightly at the small wound.

“I know it hurts,” he breathes out, “shh, shh, it’s okay.” it was always so strange how his voice still managed to calm your nerves even after all you’ve been through.

Deep down, you knew he was still that loving and energetic boy you met back at that coffee shop.

If only you knew how sinister and twisted he could really be.

Perhaps.. perhaps you wouldn’t be in such a situation now.

But there was never any point in pondering the what-ifs.

All you could do was fight your mind from seeking normalities in such a relationship as this, if you could even call it that.

You wouldn’t succumb to his desires like you always did.

You wouldnt lose yourself.

No.

You couldn’t let that happen.

Or was it too late already?

You hissed when you felt the stinging seer of rubbing alcohol dotted onto your cut, cleaning the wound.

“It’s okay.” he repeats, cooing to you with a reassuring smile that should have made you feel sick all over again.

You let him apply antibiotic ointment and a small cheek bandage, his hands shaky yet careful. You could say he has experience in applying bandages.

It was uncomfortable as it sat on your raw skin, but it’s not like you were going to go and rip it off. That would feel like ripping off a wax strip on a sunburn.

Humming, he gingerly wipes away the dried blood on your neck with the same washcloth, not minding how blood-stained the innocently white fabric became. 

Next came your still aching wrists. There wasn’t much he could do for your legs, but at least he had roll-on bandages on standby.

Turning the cold tap on, he lets you run them under cool water before gently dabbing the stray droplets away, careful not to press too hard.

He really needed to invest in softer handcuffs, it’s just- those were the only ones he had, and he didn’t use them often. Besides, it never got this bad before. But that wasn’t a good excuse.

He’d have to order some online tomorrow..

Applying more ointment around the area, the kind that offers instant relief, he wraps your smaller wrists up as best he could, cringing himself whenever you’d flinch.

He’d make it up to you.. Pancakes in the morning, perhaps?

Izuku then begins to sluggishly put away everything he brought out of the cabinet, tossing what needed to be tossed into the trashcan.

He was slow, almost as if he was trying to keep his balance, which he no doubt was. 

Standing in front of you once again, he wrapped his arms around you, whispering “up” in your ear.

It was something he would always say when he wanted you to wrap your arms and legs around him so he could carry you like a baby.

But who were you to refuse?

It wasn’t as if he couldnt pick you up without your limbs wrapped around him, it was more for your comfort rather than his convenience.

So, tentatively, you wrapped your still shaking arms around his neck, doing the same with your legs around his bent waist.

“Good girl.” he praised as he began walking back into the bedroom, stopping just at your side of the bed to place you down at the edge.

Numbly, you let him remove your rain-soaked clothes from all the hugging, sitting on the bed in just your panties as you watched him toss the clothes in the hamper by the door

It wasn’t the first time he insisted on treating you like a child who needed help changing, but at least you didn’t have to walk.

It was hard to remember if it was a good or a bad thing that you didn’t care about being nude in front of him anymore, not even bothering to hide your chest as he came back over with a fresh set of clothes - the strawberry patterned pajamas he always seemed to adore you wearing.

You always looked so innocent in them. The shirt is far too large for your frame, the sleeves hanging off your hands and the large v-neck exposing your collar bones and parts of your shoulders. The bottoms were the regular run of the mill pajama pants, soft as cotton and comfy as hell.

The top truly was the part of the look that tied it all together.

He couldn’t help but smile as your arms immediately raised as he pulled the shirt out of the pile, making quick work of slipping it over your cute head and helping your arms into the sleeves.

He liked to take care of you.

You needed him to, after all.

You were his innocent, helpless little darling, after all.

Pulling your pants up, he guided your body down into a resting position, dragging the thick, grey, and black patterned comforter over your stilled body.

Such a good girl.

He tucks loose strands of messy (H/C) hair that fell across your face behind your ear, being mindful of the wound.

He stares at it for a moment, his expression holding that of worry and regret.

Pushing off the bed, he stumbles his way to the kitchen in the dark, having turned off the light as he went, the layout of the apartment burned to memory so he could easily avoid furniture.

In the kitchen, he opened the freezer and grabbed an ice pack, one he would commonly use on his own sore muscles and bruises. It hurt his heart knowing he was the reason you had to use it for the first time.

After wrapping it in some paper towels, he trudges his way back into the dark bedroom, eyes wracking over your balled up form, covers bunched over you like a shell.

“Put this on your cheek..” he whispered, placing the pack just in front of your face.

He would love to be the one to hold it to your cheek, but his mind was still hazy, and his words were still slurred. Events could sure as hell sober you up a bit, but damn did that nausea always come back crashing in through the brittle window full force when you’d least expect it.

Rummaging through the drawers once more, he picked up some of his own fresh clothes and made his way into the bathroom again.

All he wants is to sleep, but he also didnt want you to smell dried sweat and rain on his being throughout the night.

He knew you missed him, him and his warmth, you always did, right? No question about it. You must be longing for him even now. 

Wanting him to hold and comfort you just like always.

Numbed adrenaline pumped in his veins as he stepped into the shower, letting the warm water wash away his filth and regrets.

God, it felt so good to be able to somewhere warm for once.

The entire night he’s felt nothing but cold.

Not even the fire in his belly or the breath stolen from his lungs could’ve warmed him up.

He was mad at himself. Mad that he lost control and hurt the one thing that mattered the most to him.

Mad that he let himself get disgustingly drunk.

Mad that he walked in the rain like a dumbass just to soak your clothes and make you feel as cold as him.

But at the moment, too many thoughts were flying in his mind for him to properly think, no, he couldnt really even say he was thinking at all.

He was just letting the water splatter on the back of his neck, forehead resting on the cold shower tiles and he watched as water swirled down the drain like a whirlpool. His hair stuck to his cheeks like glue, but he couldn’t find himself caring.

Absentmindedly, his fingers brush across the fresh scar on his broad shoulder.

He swore the longer he stood there, watching the clear flow of water, the looser his grip on himself became.

He couldnt really say he felt anything at all anymore.

When did he lose himself?

Was he ever even really found?

Ah.

With you.

You were the missing piece in his complicated and skull biting puzzle, the one who made him whole and lit up his dull life. You were the reason he felt things anymore, you were the reason he still managed to get up and save people with a clear conscious.

You always had such a positive impact on his life, and he knew he had just as good a one on yours.

A wobbly smile tore his flushed face in two, you both really did need eachother.

He was so happy to have you in his life.

Knowing you’d never leave him.

Turning the boiling hot water off, he stepped out, the plushness of the bath-mat embracing his wet feet as water continued to pour down his nude body.

It felt, it felt so hot suddenly.

His breath came out in exaggerated pants, hands sweeping his hair from his face as the burn of bile rose in his throat.

Lunging for the toilet, he emptied his stomach into the glistening white bowl.

Gasping for air, Izuku whipped his mouth on the back of his hand, still trying to catch his breath as he fumbled to flush.

God, he needed to sit down.

Shakily turning the bathroom faucet on, he washed his hand, making quick work of brushing his teeth before lazily drying himself off.

Ignoring the other clothes he brought in, the toned hero simply pulled on a pair of black boxers before walking out of the bathroom.

Green eyes immediately looked at your form, just to see the soft rise and fall of your chest as you soundly slept, the ice pack sitting comfortably on your cheek.

You looked so adorable.

You always did.

Smiling once more, he walked over to the bed, pulling back the sheets just to slide his larger, warm body in and next to your own.

He sighs blissfully the moment he tugs you into his embrace, relishing in the feeling of your soft body against him.

Removing the icepack from your cheek, not wanting you to awake to a cheek burning from the cold, he places it on the nightstand before snuggling closer to you.

You always fit so perfectly in his big arms.

You were meant to be by his side.

And you loved it, didn’t you?

Eventually, he fell asleep, soft snores echoing around the quiet room filled with the downpour of rain still pouring down outside the large glass windows,

But you were still wide awake.

It was hard to remember the last time you got a good night’s rest, especially when the room was spine-chillingly dark..

Hard to remember what life was like before you even met your own personal nightmare.

You were used to the exhaustion, the dark circles kissing at the skin under your eyes becoming normal the day you were brought here.

Oh, how foolish you were.

You should have locked your window that fateful night.

But heroes are quite stealthy, aren’t they?

Was this even reality at this point? Or all just a figment of your imagination, protecting you from the true horrors before your very eyes.

Either answer wasnt one you wanted.

But you never had a choice.

Tears slipping from your eyes like they always seemed to do, you stared longingly off into the distance, the warmth pressed against your back pulling you further into your own bubbling madness.

All it took was a signal thought for this to all become normal.

For the pain to wash away with your tears.

‘Maybe this is ok.’

[edgeanescence]

cytina lore dump

i havent dropped some collected cytina info in a while, so i figured id share some stuff ive come up with for those not in my server lol

rambling under the cut since its super long cause i gotta give yall a good update for waiting so long

Misc.

In terms of pronouns and identity, neither one of them really cares what you use to refer to them as. However for the sake of clarity, I typically say he/him for Cyrus, it/its for Giratina and they/them to refer to them both. Usually the use of he or it will change depending on the one in control of the body.

Cytina does not have any of Cyrus’s old pokemon on hand. When Cyrus was dragged into the Distortion World, the pokeballs fell out of his pockets and left behind.

Cyrus in this AU has the last name of Morozov, just to distinguish him.

Cyrus and Giratina have conflicting favorite flavors. Gira prefers spicy while Cyrus prefers sweet, though Cy will lie and say he prefers dry because he thinks liking sweets make him sound childish.

Cytina will sleep coiled up in Origin Form even in the Distortion World. This is because Cyrus woke up with half of his massive body hanging off one of the floating islands once and it terrified him.

Abilities

Cytina can fly and levitate, obviously. They do not have a need for flapping wings to stay aloft however.

Since Giratina refuses to explain how to use moves to Cyrus, Cyrus has to learn all of Giratina’s moves on his own. He seems to be able to get the hang of physical based attacks sooner then special ones. Status moves such as will-o-wisp fall under special attacks in terms of Cy’s ease of learning.

Cyrus is capable of using Shadow Force to teleport short distances, however he typically has trouble preforming it and teleporting where he would like to. The fun melty thing happens at random when Cyrus executes it.

Cytina can only learn new moves when Giratina is in control of the body. If Cyrus is in control, nothing seems to happen.

Cytina, despite being half human, still counts as a Ghost/Dragon type. This comes with the expected ups and downs, as well as new ones such as not being able to fly in extremely cold weather.

Body

Cytina’s wings are gaseous except for the spikes. The gas part of the wings is able to be passed through, although it behaves strangely. Objects can phase through it, albeit its pace is slowed down considerably. A ghostly chill and strange pressure is sure to be felt by those who touch it, except for Cyrus himself, who is rather unaware of that fact. The large spikes cannot be removed at all, only moved around, which allows Cytina to use them as awkward fingers. He cannot feel pain or pleasure from them, but Cyrus does know if an impact was made in his wings.

Their eyes seem to glow bright neon blue in the dark.

They actually have a blue tongue; this is based off the original sprite coloring for shiny Giratina.

The metal on Cytina is pure platinum; as such they are over 600 pounds in weight, but the metal is easily damaged due to being softer then even tooth enamel. Eating is a pain with metal teeth, even if they are sharp.

In terms of pain, Cyrus cannot feel anything on his arms or metal parts. The metal parts are pure metal with no nerves inside them, and the wings are so gaseous that attacks do nothing to them.

Cytina does not get sick as badly as a human or pokemon would. The two conflicting immunities fucks up the viruses so they are less effective.

Cytina can die, however, they’re much like a vampire. Immortal, can live potentially forever, but if they’re damaged enough they will be slain. Their healing is faster then that of a normal humans, although not superhumanly so. Their metal parts heal extremely slowly and is almost unnoticable.

Cytina bleeds black; its actually pure shadow. When it drips from the wound it seems to look almost like tar, but the moment it hits a surface that is not Cytina, it dissolves in a sense. The shadowy splash remains on the ground a moment before vaporizing completely.

Tears and spit however, are neon blue.

Picking up objects in Altered Form is rather difficult if there is no lip for the spikes to balance on. Occasionally, Cyrus has to ask for help with things he simply cannot handle.

Communication

Giratina does not understand human speak well. Well, at least how to actually say words. It can understand sentences said to it, but has issues talking back when in control of the body. Its usually childish wording and clumsy pauses irritate Cyrus to no end.

Given the chance to finally speak though, Giratina will choose to talk to whoever about whatever it pleases. This includes mentioning things Cyrus does not want mentioned if Giratina was feeling especially petty that day.

Giratina and Cyrus communicate mentally with each other. Giratina cannot speak full sentences, but it does project mental images and feelings into Cyrus that he interprets. Giratina uses this as a way of influencing Cyrus’ choices and trying to prevent him from going back to destroy the planet. However this isn't always intentional and can result in Cyrus having impulses to play with poketoys or eat pokemon food.

Cytina can communicate with pokemon, but its exclusively through Giratina. If it was a normal pokemon, Gira most likely won’t try to communicate with it since Cyrus would have to be a middleman. If the pokemon had telepathy, Gira could hold a conversation with them. Cyrus would register this conversation as a headache because he doesn't understand pokemon speak. The only exception to this is if it was from a pokemon like Mewtwo that already can communicate with humans and pokemon alike. Now, if Giratina was in control of the body, Cyrus doesn't get headaches from the communication. Mainly because Gira will directly talk to whatever pokemon is wishes to speak to. However this might result in it using a mix of pokemon speak and human, so it comes out as a garbled mess. Cyrus still doesn't understand what was being said though unless Giratina tried to elaborate it.. Which won’t go well.

[second-chance-stray]

Rp Log: Rising, Riylli, and Cravs apologize to each other over drinks.

(Riylli Aliapoh) Riylli sat alone at the table, impatiently awaiting the two Roegadyns appearance. Despite being the one to reach out to the two of them, the Miqo'te had a grumpy look on her face and had already gotten started with her drink. She absolutely did not seem to want to be here, but it was definitely too late now to leave

(Rising Lotus) Was keeping close to Cravs as they walked in, looking a bit hesitant about the whole night out. After glancing at Riylli sitting down, she avoided the miqo'te's gaze, looking at the ground or around the inn on her way over, keeping her gaze downward as she took a seat across from her.

(Cravendy Hound) As usual, Cravs is pretty late. She kicks open the saloon’s doors and then saunters over to Riylli’s table, happily looking forward to a night of drinking with some friends. But why does the miqo’te look so upset? Cravs takes a seat besides her and gives Riylli’s shoulder a good shake. “Why the long face? Let’s get this show on the road!”

(Riylli Aliapoh) Riylli simply raises an eyebrow towards Cravs' friendly greeting, getting caught off guard and at least for the moment forgetting she was supposed to be looking grumpy. "Uh... Hey." The Miqo'te hit the pair with the tried and true opener. "I ordered you guys some mead already. I dunno if that's what you like, but... It's pretty good here..?"

(Cravendy Hound) “Been ‘ere afore, and I agree. Some places, it’s best to stick to somethin’ tried an true.” Cravs raises a hand to catch the barkeeps attention, and without words he goes over to fill a glass with her usual. “Nice of ye to invite us out!”

(Rising Lotus) Rising was quick to take the mug off the table and take a long swig out of it, taking a deep breath afterwards as she set her drink down. "..Thanks." she managed to mutter out, continuing her awkward fidgeting. She kept look like she was trying to say something more but then rethinking it.

(Cravendy Hound) ...djfksld I AM. BAD AT READING. I guess Cravs is ordering a second round without finishing the first, but that's still in character for her xD ))

(Riylli Aliapoh) "...Yeah well, wasn't my idea..." She mumbles awkwardly, taking a pull from her drink to buy herself some time. "My friends wouldn't stop pestering me about it. And if were gonna be fightin' together and stuff then it's no good to let bad blood linger" She said with an awkward shrug, keeping her eyes fixed on the table

(Cravendy Hound) “Why ye actin’ like ye got a bellyful of marbles, Risin’?” Cravs sasses, brow raised playfully. But at the mention of ‘bad blood,’ her tune changes...somewhat. “Ey wot? Someone mad at someone else?”

(Riylli Aliapoh) Riylli squints at the Seawolf for a moment before bringing her hand to her face. "You... Don't even remember, do you. Ugh!" The Miqo'te lets out a frustrated sigh, then turned to Rising while gesturing towards Cravs. "Why are you even so mad at me anyway!? We should be teaming up on this drunkard!"

(Rising Lotus) Groans a bit, running her ungloved hand over her hair before sighing. "I guess you probably don't remember, you were pretty gone when I threw ya on the couch.." she paused as she thought over her next words "Riylli an I got a bit...frustrated I guess, which each other." she deflated a bit as brought it up. "I-I..I didn't mean too..it was jus' in the moment.."

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs sucks in her lips. Oh, but she DOES remember...enough, anyway. She had just assumed it was all in good fun. Messing around that may have gotten a little heated, but a passing thing. “Oh. Hmmm. Hm. HM.”

(Cravendy Hound) "Not my fault I was born to drink." Cravs follows through and takes a hearty chug from her mead.

(Riylli Aliapoh) Riylli decides to take a rather long pull from her drink, deciding that this was not a situation that she wanted to deal with while sober. "Someone born to drink wouldn't be such a lightweight..."

(Rising Lotus) Let out an irritated sigh. "If you would've waited until the damn thing was inside to drink this wouldn't a happened.." she sat up a bit. "You kind of ditched us to do all the hard work."

(Cravendy Hound) “I am. NOT. A lightweight!” Cravs blusters. It seems Riylli has touched a nerve. “Just got slammed on some of the strongest stuff possible in a short while. Who wouldn’t after fightin’ a spider...monster.” But to Rising’s comment, she has nothing to say. Cravs huffs.

(Riylli Aliapoh) "Uh huh. Well I ain't carrying you home." Riylli mutters, giving Cravs the side-eye. Not that she could carry her at all really, but that's beside the point.

(Rising Lotus) Rising had finished off her first drink and had started on the second round Cravs had ordered, eyeing the other roegydan after her outburst. "I get that..but you left that thing shoved in the doorway an' Riylli an' I had to do most the work." she glanced at Riylli, looking down to the table again afterwards. "Could've banged it out easily together an' drank at the company bar."

(Cravendy Hound) Pulling an apology out of Cravs is like pulling teeth. She knows she ought to, that it was a jerk move to toss a problem onto someone else’s shoulder. But a powerful pressure keeps any sorry words lodged in her throat. It simply isn’t something she’s done that much, and feels as unnatural as breathing water. After a long while, it all bursts out...as a garbled and quiet cough.

(Riylli Aliapoh) RIylli nods to Rising. "I bet with the three of us there we coulda just pushed it on through." She says, giving herself a lot of credit. "Instead me and Rising had to carve the damned thing like it was a bird. I wonder what happened to all that meat... Hope whatever animal that ate it didn't get sick..." She murmured to herself, getting distracted thanks to the fuzzy feeling in her head

(Cravendy Hound) “.............well ye two did a better job without me around. So I was. Doin’ ye a favor.” Her voice becomes progressively more and more quiet as she gets to the end. Cravs gives Riylli and Rising a sheepish look. “Bugger.”

(Cravendy Hound) oh noi she sit at table xD )) (Riylli Aliapoh) (We are being forced into an rp event (Riylli Aliapoh) (Thats new (Riylli Aliapoh) (WHAT DO WE DO? PANIC (Cravendy Hound) well! Let's see where this goes LOL ))

Rinnji Larioux: "Hey there, friends." Rinnji says, pulling herself up the lone unoccupied seat at the occupied table. She grins from Roe to Roe to Miqo.

Cravendy Hound is deep in a conversation with her two companions, and the elezen's intrusion into the table does not go unnoticed. Cravs leans forward, pirate swagger at its peak, and nearly growls. "Oy there, 'friend..'"

Rinnji Larioux smiles at you.

Rinnji Larioux: "Hoy!"

Rinnji Larioux: "Just wanted to come tell you lot that those free drinks include your table, and if you're so inclined, you're most welcome to join us."

Rinnji Larioux smiles from face to face, slowly picking up on the tension, but ever the diligent hostess, continues to smile brightly, with a charming, friendly demeanor.

Riylli Aliapoh: "...Thank the gods for that..." Riylli muttered, then immediately downed the rest of her drink and held up her hand for Buscarron to bring her another

Rising Lotus shuffles in her chair awkwardly, giving the elezen a nod as she kept an eye on Cravs. " 'Preciate it.."

Cravendy Hound pauses. "....free? Well that's a different story then. Oy Riyyli, turns out these drinks are on the 'ouse or somethin..." Cravs smirks. "Personally, I'll 'ave to pass on...whatever ye elven folk are doin' over yonder. But thanks for the invitation."

Rinnji Larioux nods to you.

Rinnji Larioux: "...we're a friendly sort."

Rinnji Larioux winks at you.

Cravendy Hound nods farewell to Rinnji, and then it's back to looking mad and being not glad.

(Rising Lotus) The hostess's visit put things a big off track, the three sitting in awkward silence for a few moments before Rising licked her lips and started to speak. "..I'm sorry for snappin' at you Riylli..uh, by the way." she just sort blurted it all out when she spoke.

(Riylli Aliapoh) Riylli grinned as she received a new drink, immediately taking a long swig of this one as well. She blinked as she looked around the room, apparently only just now noticing the crowd. "This place aint usually this busy..." She began, only to get caught off guard again by the sudden apology. "Uh... Yeah, it's... Fine or whatever." She responded awkwardly. She was not drunk enough for this dammit. "I'm sorry too, and all that..."

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs looks side to side, growing just a bit panicked. Now that they’ve both said sorry, then that would leave her, right? Godsdamned it all, but it’s like speaking in a foreign language for her. After a great deal of effort, she grumbles something under her breath. It vaguely resembles an apology, but gets drowned out by the sounds of revelry nearby.

(Riylli Aliapoh) Riylli's ear flickers and her attention is drawn to Cravs and her discomfort. Immediately she grins and leans forward, flicking her tail to one side. "Oh no you don't. You ain't getting out of this that easy, say it louder!"

(Rising Lotus) Rising finally cracked as smile at Riylli's response to Cravs' apology. "...I guess to be fair all the fun their havin' really is makin' this weird for us. Hard to be mopey an' say sorrys with them havin' a good time."

(Cravendy Hound) “WHAT. Piss n’ wind, yer -killin’- me ‘ere!” Cravs groans. But she won’t find a sympathetic soul here, not when her entire company consists of the people she’s wronged. “Would bloody rather ‘ave me keelhauled then deal with this shit.”

(Cravendy Hound) She finishes her glass, face red from...embarrassment? The effort of trying to ekk out an apology. Finally, with the exact same volume level as the first attempt, she repeats herself. “.....mmrgfghsorry...”

(Riylli Aliapoh) "No. No. No." Riylli shook her head disapprovingly. "C'mon, even I said it! And outta all of us, you're the one who should really be sayin' it the most! Is the big strong Roegadyn really too afraid to say a tiny little word?" Riylli tutted, clearly getting a little bit of revenge in for getting ditched with the spider

(Rising Lotus) Rising was close to finishing off her second drink by now, snickering at Riylli's teasing. "Aye, I guess it's good to know I'm the strong one between the two of us though, leaves less to wonder on which one of us is the best for the company." she flexed her exposed bicep. "Rising, powerful AND can apologize."

(Cravendy Hound) “Ay shove it! I said it twice already! An’ I swear, every time I say it again I lose a year offa my life. Blast, I - I need more drink.” Cravs sputtered. Thankfully, it’s around now that a barkeep comes over with the second round, and she quickly moves to snatch and down another cup.

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs is absolutely SEETHING. She pouts at Rising and glares at her bicep. “Powerful? Bet I can beat ye in an arm wrestlin’ contest. Bet I can beat both of ye, hah!”

(Riylli Aliapoh) "Oh no ya don't!" Riylli suddenly stood and grabbed the cup as well, trying to keep it from the Roegadyn woman and spilling just a little onto the floor, though her rosy-cheeked grin would make it clear she probably didn't care much. "If we didn't hear you, it don't count!"

(Cravendy Hound) "Risin' 'eard it! Didn't ye?!" Cravs growls. She scowls and gives a threatening look to the other Roegadyn. "Didn't. YE."

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs backed into a corner = ATTACKATTACKATTACK. Make things worse xD ))

(Rising Lotus) Assisted Riylli, putting her palm over the top of the mug to ensure nothing spilled but still kept it from Cravs. "I heard you grumble somethin', but who knows what it coulda been...an' I would kick your arse at an arm wrestlin' contest." she grinned devilishly, as soon as they squeezed that apology out of her that was what was coming next.

(Riylli Aliapoh) Riylli shook her head. "Rising aint got ears like mine anyroad. No way she'd have heard it and not me. Now! Nice and loud, so those elezen folk can hear it too!"

(Cravendy Hound) “Ye don’t use legs in an arm wrestlin’ contest, ye blusterin’ drylander!” Cravs retorts as she stands up. She feels like she’s on burning, like she can run a thousand miles. Her fight or flight instinct is firing on all cylinders and she has no idea what to do.

(Cravendy Hound) “YER BOTH FULL OF A LOAD OF BULL.” Is what comes out. Then, absolutely befuddled and slain by embarrassment, she storms out of the tavern cursing all the while. Out of sight and from afar, she shouts at so great a distance it echoes. “AN’ I’M BLOODY SORRY, ALRIGHT?”

(Cravendy Hound) ... I considered putting that in yell xD )) (Riylli Aliapoh) (SHES MAKING A BREAK FOR IT (Cravendy Hound) RUUUUUuUu nNN )) (Rising Lotus) woops for some reason I thought I was left a lone in the bar one sec xD))

(Rising Lotus) Is wide eyed and quiet as Cravs has her out burst, side eyeing Riylli as she take as moment to process it. "Uh..well I guess she said it...?"

(Riylli Aliapoh) "OY! GET BACK HERE! I DON'T GOT THE GIL FOR THIS!" Riylli calls out, but grins mischievously and grabs her drink before bolting out of the tavern as well. It was not a well thought out plan since Baderon knew who she was, but those were issues for later. "C'MON!"

(Rising Lotus) Rising kept pace with Riylli as she dashed out of the bar, glad that the drinks were on the house.

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs has, in her infinite wisdom, just been rushing headlong into the forest. She finally stops to catch her breath behind a tree and the weight of everything that has happened in the past 20 seconds hits her like a truck. WHAT WAS SHE DOING. Why was she running? How could she ever show her face around Rising and Riylli again? She groans, and then hears them follow suit. Oh god, keep running keeprunning. “D-DON’T FOLLOW ME YE SCRAGS. Also they were free drinks!”

(Riylli Aliapoh) "THESE ARE MY WOODS, YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME!" Riylli calls out, able to easily catch up to Cravs even as she ducked between the trees. Drunk she may be, but none can escape a Keeper on the hunt on their home turf. She leaps out from behind a tree and grabs onto Cravs, holding tight like she was wrangling a bull. "You aint gettin' away! We're friends now, deal with it!"

(Cravendy Hound) this is so chaotic xD )) (Riylli Aliapoh) (is anyone surprised with these 3

(Rising Lotus) Starts slowing down as the world starts spinning, taking extra care not to smash her skull on a branch or rock. She came upon the sight of the took in the strange embrace, unable to stifle a bit of laughter. "Carefully that she don't buck ya off!" she reached out to try and grapple Cravs as well "Jus' calm down for a damn minute!"

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs stumbles from tree to tree, getting more lost with every turn. Decisions are hard to make when you’re running for your life, alcohol sloshing in your gut. So when Riylli leaps out and grabs her, her first instinct IS to try to toss her off. But the miqo’te held fast, and eventually Crav’s goes from panicked fighting to depressed acceptance. With that, she lowers herself to the floor and just. Lies there. She makes a sound akin to a death rattle.

(Riylli Aliapoh) Riylli removes herself from Cravs and stands, thankfully not drunk enough to cuddle her when she's down. She plants her hands on her hips proudly, her cheeks still rosy as she grinned. "C'mon, did you really think you'd get away? I could smell your trail easy." She declares, either not understanding or not caring about how weird that might sound to the non-Miqo'te.

(Rising Lotus) Panting as Cravs lowered to the ground, she give Riylli a thumbs up. " Damn nice job Riylli!" she knelt down next to the two. "Now I guess I know how you're uh.. feelin' an' all..." she scratched the back of her head, gazing off into the woods. "I was plenty the same when I was sick...all stubborn 'bout it an' all.. but if I didn't let you help me I woulda been way worse off."

(Rising Lotus) rested a hand on Cravendy's shoulder. "you don't think any less of me after seein' me in that pitiful state, at least I hope not.."

(Cravendy Hound) “What?” She wrinkles a nose to Riylli’s offhand comment about smelling.

(Cravendy Hound) “I know. I should’ve just said.” Cravs pauses. She can’t say it, but hell, she can certainly talk around it. “If I said it, then I wouldn’t be in this mess. But I. It’s. Guh.”

(Rising Lotus) I gotta get going unfortunately, need to head to work to do truck T-T )) (Cravendy Hound) ah okies! ty for coming and heck inviting me! this was a blast :D )) (Riylli Aliapoh) (Yeah! Drunken idiot rp is very fun (Rising Lotus) Yeh! no dirtpatch won't be as awkward xD (Cravendy Hound) heheh )) (Rising Lotus) At any rate I need to bounce lol pretty much playing it last minute, if you keep goign send me the rest of the logs where I missed! (Rising Lotus) \o )) (Cravendy Hound) I'll post the logs on my tumblr :3 )) (Riylli Aliapoh) (Rising proceeds to pass out drunk in the middle of the woods (Cravendy Hound) pfff I'll get the torso, you get the legs ))

(Riylli Aliapoh) Riylli tapped her nose, and then proceeded to not explain at all as she watched Rising pass out onto the forest floor. She stared for a long moment, before looking back towards Cravs. "Lightweights... All of you are damned lightweights."

(Cravendy Hound) “‘I’m not! Feh.” Cravs is too tired to make her point again. And yet a part of her is glad to have been chased down and tackled. Otherwise, she might’ve just run forever. Who knows. An exhausted smile creeps onto her face as she gets back up. “Yer crazy. But...thanks.”

(Riylli Aliapoh) Riylli's hands returned to her hips, basking in what she apparently considered praise. "Well... Maybe I'm just used to th' stuff here..." She admitted, her eyes being drawn to the elephant in the room. So to speak. "What are we gonna do with her? Can't exactly leave her out here"

(Cravendy Hound) “Nah. I’m crazy too.” Cravs brushes herself and stands back up. “She’d probably be fine if we left ‘er out ‘ere. Nothin’ but boros and bugs patrolin’ the forest.” She shoot Riylli a dead serious look, then blows out of her nose with a small grin. “Just jokin’. Ye get the legs, I’ll get the body. We can dump ‘er on the couch back at the company.”

(Riylli Aliapoh) Riylli looked at Cravs for a moment before coughing awkwardly. "Um... I don't know if... WE can get her all the way back there on our own..." She mumbled, dancing around the obvious issue of her being half the size of either of them. "Why th' hells she gotta wear armour to a tavern anyroad..."

(Cravendy Hound) Cravs picks up most of Rising and grunts under the weight. She waits a moment to allow Riylli grab on, and then starts walking in a random direction. “We’ll get ‘er back. But, uh, could ye show us the way to the road? Otherwise we’ll all be campin’ in the woods tonight.”

(Cravendy Hound) Though it would take awhile, they would get there. Eventually.

[queenmylovely]

Apparently, Blake aka @sweet-ladyy is sick rn, and when she posted saying to send her things to read about being taken care of by one of the boys, I couldn’t resist writing something lol. I hope you like this, Blake, and if it makes you feel even 1% better, I’ll consider it successful!

Also, do I know what a blurb is, cause this is 1.2k (I guess there are the slightest allusions to sex and nudity but nothing explicit)

☆☆☆

Body aching and head pounding from the inflammation and sinus pressure respectively, you groaned as you tried to sit up to turn off the alarm that was blaring on your bedside table. After a minute of struggle, you managed to, and blinked blearily around your room to find it empty.

Frowning, you tried to call out to your boyfriend, but all that came from your throat was a garbled sound and then a hacking cough. As you tried to cough into your elbow, you saw a figure walking quickly into the bedroom out of the corner of your eye. When you were finally able to take more than one breath in smoothly, you looked up to see said boyfriend, Brian, holding a steaming cup of tea out to you.

“You’re up,” he said sympathetically, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear as you took a careful sip.

The hot tea with a touch of honey helped soothe your throat and you pushed the covers off your legs with one hand, “Yeah, the alarm woke me. I gotta get ready for work.”

You were about to stand when Brian gently pushed on your shoulder to stop you. Looking up at him confusedly, he explained, “You’ve been coughing all night and you felt like you had a fever when I got up about an hour ago. I already called your work and told them that you’re sick. They said to rest up and get better; they don’t want an outbreak of a cold or the flu.”

Slumping back down in the bed, you took another sip of the tea and then set it down. You were relieved that you wouldn’t have to go into work or even have to call in, but then you thought about what Brian said and frowned again.

He noticed and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I was coughing all night?” you clarified and he nodded. “Oh, Bri, that means I kept you up with my coughing. I’m so sorry.”

Brian chuckled a little at the pout on your face and sat down next to you on the bed where you made room for him. “To be honest, I slept on the couch and just checked on you a couple times after the first hour of coughing. Also, don’t be sorry for coughing when you’re sick.”

“Okay,” you accepted easily, making Brian chuckle again, and you laid back down completely, trying to get comfortable enough to fall back asleep. Then you felt another throb of pain in your head and brought a hand to your forehead.

“I’ll go get you some ibuprofen,” Brian said, standing and walking out of the room. He returned in a second with the pills and a glass of water.

You sat slightly to take them and then Brian helped prop you up with two extra pillows behind your back so the congestion wouldn’t be as bad. Once you were settled, he sat down next to you again and massaged where your sinus cavities were on your face and you instantly felt better, the pressure being alleviated with his talented hands.

With the pain quickly retreating, you fell asleep with ease. It was a couple hours before you woke up again, due to hunger, and this time Brian was sitting on the bed next to you softly messing around with one of his acoustic guitars.

“Hungry?” he guessed easily, and when you nodded he left the room, setting the guitar on a stand that was permanently in your bedroom in case inspiration struck in the middle of the night (on multiple occasions it had struck in the middle of sex and if it weren’t so hot to see him working out a song naked, you would’ve been annoyed).

After a minute he was back with a bed tray that had a bowl of chicken noodle soup, a piece of buttered toast, saltines, and a glass of orange juice. You smiled and thanked him and then immediately dug in, glad it seemed to be just a cold and not the flu. The soup was delicious and soothed both your throat and body with its warmth.

Through a bite of toast, which was already settling your stomach, you asked, “Did you make this soup?”

Brian nodded, smiling a little proud smile, “I called Deaky for help and he handed me off to Veronica, but she gave me her family’s recipe and told me how to make it.”

You beamed back at him, the nap and the food already reenergizing you, and you told him, “Well, it’s delicious. Thank you, bub.”

He blushed at your praise and said, “Anything for you, love.”

Once lunch was finished (you made sure Brian had eaten as well), you started to get uncomfortable in the bed, and realized that you had sweat a bunch during your nap. Brian helped you to the shower, your body still a little weak, and you pulled off your damp pajamas as Brian undressed himself. He turned on the water and made it warmer than either of you usually preferred, then led you inside.

The hot water felt great on your achy body, but you noticed Brian wince at the temperature and turned it down so it wasn’t scalding him. He helped you wash and condition your hair, having done it multiple times before. Then he washed your body for you, and while there was nothing sensual in his movements, it was still a wonderfully intimate moment between the two of you. He gave you mini-massages on your shoulders, lower back, and thighs, helping to release the tension that had built up lying in bed. He pressed a kiss to each place when he was done and you would’ve kissed him senseless as a thank you, but refrained because you didn’t want him to get sick.

Once the shower was done and you were in fresh, clean pajamas, the two of you moved to the living room couch, cuddling up to watch reruns of whatever sitcoms happened to come on throughout the afternoon. Eventually, you fell asleep again, waking around 7:00pm.

A dinner of chicken noodle soup and a chat and listen to an album later, you were already ready for bed. Brian went with you, telling you that he was tired out too, and wanted to keep up on his rest so he didn’t get sick. You took a dose of cough syrup, hoping that would keep both you and Brian asleep through the night. The two of you got ready for bed together, sharing a quick kiss right after brushing your teeth because that seemed like the least likely time to spread germs.

Then you crawled into bed, sighing in appreciation when you realized that Brian had changed the sheets during your afternoon sleep. You felt him come up behind you and wrap his body around yours. It was a little tricky at first with the mound of pillows supporting you, but he managed to get settled.

Melting into him, you let out a hum and then said, “Thank you for taking such good care of me, Bri.”

“‘Course, it was my pleasure, love. Gotta make sure you’re happy even when you’re not completely healthy,” he said so sweetly that you couldn’t help but turn around in his arms and give him a kiss.

“I love you,” you said against his lips.

“I love you too.”

★★★

Masterlist

I’m also tagging because it’s practically oneshot length: @riseetothesun @caborhapch @drowseoftaylor @queenlover05 @johndeaconshands

[ultraclops]

Semi-Live Blogging: Finale Time!

With reaction images this time!

Adoradad

TRAINING EXERCIIISE

Adorabat's practicing her screaming! Bet that's gonna come in handy later.

"Fneh!" Wow what an introduction Eugene

His design is like? Really cool?? He looks practically nothing like Adorabat tho. And why does he have a spade on his stomach instead of a heart??

Badgerclops drew him with a giant ass mustache lol.

Adorabat takes banjo lessons? More importantly, Eugene thought she was at a banjo lesson FOR 8 MONTHS?!

"She scares me" lol

Adorabat ran away from home? Why?

"I thought you were a ward of the state!" Remember when everyone thought Adorabat was an orphan? Yea.

"I thought you were my conscience!" Badgerclops...you've lived with Adorabat for a year...went to her school...AND YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A PIECE OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS?!

...why did Badgerclops use Adorabat as monster bait...

I expected to hate Eugene but he's actually really cute and interesting?? Aside from the fact he thinks Mao Mao & Badgerclops are criminals. Love to see him again sometime!

Wow her dad has a whole badass mansion!! Why doesn't she just stay there...

Oh...her mom died...that's why he's so protective of her and was so upset when she left. Also her mom looks amazing & I wanna see a flashback episode with her. For some reason I can imagine her sounding like a deeper version of Scoops?

Aww Adorabat's room is super cool! Also Eugene cracking the door for her asfgjkl

"Do you think that monsters attacking the city are gonna - wait, does that have peanut butter in it? " (Cuts to MM & BC eating ice cream while crying) That's a perfectly rational reaction to losing your adoptive daughter

"I can keep it together!" (Cut to Mao Mao trying and failing to shovel ice cream in his mouth with his helmet on) NSADGEDHAMADH

Wait a second. Mao's eating mint chocolate chip ice cream. ISN'T CHOCOLATE TOXIC TO CATS?!

"But you said I was part of the team!!" "Then you're...off the team."

Adorabat crying while showing Eugene the picture OUCH MY HEART...

"I used to go exploring in those caves with Mom all the time..." I'm guessing those are the caves from the promo?

"She wasn't afraid of anything!" " Well Adorabat definitely takes after her mother...

"And then one day, Sonara didn't come back with you." Ooh her name's Sonara!! Pretty!! I can't tell if they chose it cuz it sounds like Sonar or because it means "pleasant sounding"

Glad to see Adorabat's still a die-hard metal fan, even with Eugene

Oof Mao isn't taking this well at ALL if he's pretending Adorabat's molt is her...

OOH SHIT ADORABAT RAN OFF TO THE CAVES - wait a minute no she didn't. OH NO EUGENE WENT TO THE CAVES

Ooh there's Sonara's looking glass, bet that's gonna be important

Yay Adorabat saved her dad!

Damn Adorabat must be super traumatized after basically watching her mother die. No wonder she tried to murder Boba-Chan!

Oh the only way to stop the monster is by screaming!

(Mao Mao hears Adorabat scream) "ADORABAT?!" ADOPTIVE DAD POWERS ACTIVATE

Ooh her mother's figure appears over her when she says she's not afraid of anyone...maybe her spirit's inside of her or something?

REVENGE TIME BAYBEY

HOLY SHIT ADORABAT FUCKING MURDERED THAT THING

Eugene & Adorabat both apologized to each other I...

"You can't just leave without the most fearless member of the group!" YAAY ADORABAT'S BACK (Also how are we gonna explain to Eugene Adorabat's scared of the dark?)

"I'll mess 'em up real good! So good, their mommies and daddies won't be able to recognize them when I'm done..." Daaammmnnn...

"She scares me :)"

I wonder...is Sonara really dead? Or are they gonna pull a Kipo & have her still be alive but in a different form?

Badge-A-Fire explosion

Uhh...where is Badgerclops? And why is Mao Mao on the top bunk?!

Of course Badgerclops is petty enough to install a fake monster alarm on his laptop to wake Mao Mao and Adorabat up.

"This is a super-serious work meeting, as you can see by the fact that I haven't provided any snacks!" No snacks?! This must be a serious issue!! /s

"As you know, I am a creative genius. Sometimes there's so much natural creative genius that my brain overloads, and I enter a heightened state that I call 'Ultra Focus'..." Oh so basically like hyperfixation?

"...where I break into a creative sprint, inventing super-advanced technology at supernatural speeds, unparalleled by anyone in the entire field of science." Okay maybe only a LITTLE bit like hyperfixation...wait a second, IS THAT WHY BADGERCLOPS IS SO TIRED ALL THE TIME?!

Uhh did he get his arm stuck in the front door? HE TOOK THE AEROCYCLE?!

"...I forget everything the next morning." Remember my headcanon that Badgerclops represses his memories? Yea...

"Which is why it's not my fault and I don't think I should be criticized :D" TBH I screamed with laughter at this scene solely because of the expression he made

...HE GAVE THE SKY PIRATES THE GEM CELL?! I mean he clearly wasn't thinking right when he did it BUT STILL?!

"Oh hey, I told you I'd use that weird elevator thing!" Dude you LITERALLY used it in Ultraclops. What are you talking about.

"If the Sky Pirates had the Gem Cell, they would've used it already!" That is a fair point ngl.

Umm...did Badgerclops give Adorabat a BOMB?!

Tbh if my friend woke me up in the middle of the night with weird-looking eyes and handed me a timer while saying something about an explosion I would DEFINITELY not go back to sleep afterwards...

I'm sorry, IS THE WHOLE VALLEY GONNA BLOW UP?! WHAT THE HELL DID HE MAKE?!

Mao wiping Badgerclops' tears I'm

A paper towel dispenser? Well that's not that bad - IS THAT A GIANT PAIR OF PANTS?!

Ooh it's not a shock collar it's a translator!! That makes a bit more sense... "I HAVE NO REMORSE OR CONCEPT OF EMPATHY!" ...if the monster doesn't have remorse or empathy how does it know what those words mean...

Badgerclops keeps telling Mao Mao & Adorabat not to criticize him...hmm...I wonder who criticized his inventions that made him that way...*cough* HIS MOM *cough*

"Are all your inventions this weird?!" "YOU'RE WEIRD!!"

IM SORRY DID BADGERCLOPS BUILD A DANCING MACHINE INTO MAO MAO'S BONES?! HIS BONES?! AND HE MADE ADORABAT A SECOND MEGAPEG?!

What in the absolute hell is going on dgaadhdagdadga

Okay but when Badgerclops clutched his head and started shaking when Mao Mao asked why he made those things...I FELT THAT IN MY HEART I FELT THAT IN MY SOUL

Ngl this scene really hit home for me cuz that's how I act when I have a breakdown...

The timer went off but nothing blew up - WAIT, IS THAT A REPLICA OF MECHA HOSSORAFFASNAKEARANG?!

"Initializing Totally Humane Knockout Procedure." (Proceeds to slam the Sheriff's Dept. into the ground) ajdajdgdad

Ooh...ohh they're on some sort of water park...ride...thing??

"And if I didn't want us to get out, then I made sure we couldn't...with super-strong shoe things." But there isn't any on Adorabat, can't she just squeeze herself out?

Ooh I'm getting Pirates of the Caribbean vibes

There's the Gem Cell, it must be powering the ride! Also the robotic arm slaps Mao's hand the same way Mao slaps Badgerclops' hand in Flyaway skkkk

"My amazing creativity is finally gonna destroy us all..." "Hey, at least we'll be destroyed together!" Fair point, fair point

The shoosh returneth

"I always loved inventing." So he was an inventor ever since he was little? Daww.

YOUNG BC IS SO ADORABLE!! He has a lil medical patch instead of an eyepatch which is def more accurate to real life...but what's the vest for? Protection in case he falls? A pressure stim?

That figure's def his mom since they rejected his ideas & he mentions she was mean to him. Also the theory that his mom's a villain seems a bit stronger since they straight-up hand him a tool kid + a set of blueprints with no regard to his safety...

"Also there was a bunch of other kids at school and some other people throughout my life who mocked me relentlessly." THEN WHY'D YOU TELL ADORABAT YOU COULDN'T RELATE TO HER WHEN SHE SAID NO ONE WANTED TO BE HER FRIEND?! (Also I noticed literally all the kids are other badgers, so I'm assuming Badgerclops grew up sheltered like Mao Mao did.)

So the Ultra Focus is basically a really weird coping mechanism to deal with all the abuse and bullying he went through? Holy fuckkk

"They only made fun of you because they were jealous. Happened to me my whole life!" Umm...

"Even the dance chip I surgically implanted in your brain?" Excuse me the dance chip that you WHAT

"I love you-" HE SAID IT 💗💓💗💓

"I'm finally around people who love and understand me..."

Wait did the cannon misfire? DID IT BLOW A HOLE IN THE GROUND?!

OH HE ACTUALLY DID CREATE AN ANIMATRONIC BAND?! I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE!!

"Take it away, Boss Hosstritch!" (Distorted garbling)

Oof Mao caught all the water

"We hope you all enjoyed being Badgerclops' friend." 💞💕💞💕

Not that anyone cares but I noticed there's a picture of some of the Sweetypies on the monitors, meaning 1. Badgerclops tested it out using them first, or 2. Badgerclops just likes those Sweetypies for whatever reason. Tho that makes me wonder why he'd choose Pinky of all people...

THE SKY PIRATES WERE INSIDE THE ANIMATRONICS THE WHOLE TIME?! THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTE

Zing Your Heart Out

Why are they giving out rotten sushi??

"HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME EATING SOMETHING GROSSLY?!"

Ooh god Chester's gonna be super freaking annoying in this episode, I can feel it.

"What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!" BAYBEY

Jesus what a prick. GET HIM MAO MAO

Ngl that background's really pretty...

Oooh no the Ruby Pure Heart's being weird again. Ooh no.

FUCK YEA ROAST HIM BABY - Did Adorabat's eyes turn purple because the Ruby Pure Heart gave her powers?

Oh so the siren in Badgerclops' robo-arm is a backup monster alarm?

More Sky Pirates - and the Pure Heart's being weird again...

"I'd tell you but despite your height it'd go right over your HEAD!" Asdfgghjjk

"For someone with two brains, you're not very BRIGHT!" EVEN BETTER

Kevin said he was raising money for a school trip, then for a trip to the hospital...which one is he raising money for?!

"SILENCE PANCAKE, LEST YE BE BUTTERED"

OOH NO SHE ATTACKED MAO AND BC

"IT FEELS LIKE THE WEIGHT OF ONE THOUSAND PLANETS!!"

"One second, I'm getting mad, and the next thing you know-" Is she freaking possessed??

Wait, is the Pure Heart TALKING to Adorabat?! How?!

Cluckins you don't ask people what's wrong with their eyeballs...even if there is something wrong with their eyeballs

"I CAN'T FEEL MY SELF-RESPECT!!"

The pure 'oh shit' on Marion's face when Adorabat turns to her

Half of the people she insulted showed up to her party! Didn't that mean she loved them?!

Oh god not this bitch again - nvm, thanks Adorabat

"Taking over the castle and ruling Pure Heart Valley forever does sound nice..." This is starting to remind me of that one AU where Adorabat turns evil, becomes the ruler of the Sky Pirates, then convinces them to kill Snugglemagne and becomes the queen of Pure Heart...she isn't gonna kill Snugglemagne, is she?

What did Adorabat tell Snugglemagne?! I WANNA KNO

Why is Pinky stealing teeth...reminds me of this

NO BC DON'T EAT THE TEETH

"I...hate myself! Therefore, I'm invincible!" So the trick to not getting your ego destroyed...is to not have an ego. Sounds reasonable.

"Your bug platter, my king?" Genderfluid Adorabat rights

"Mao Mao, your head looks like a CROW!" (Mao Mao caws) IT WAS A LIE HE ISN'T A CAT HE WAS A CROW THIS WHOLE TIME-

"It looks like a half-melted ice cream cone!!" That is...a strange way to describe your own neck...

"Well, I'm...bad (◡‿◡)" Kinda weird that the canonically depressed character can't even cleverly insult himself

...why does Adorabat's skin smell like old cantaloupe

OH SHE IS POSSESSED!!

HOLY SHIT MAO WAS GONNA FUCKING MURDER ADORABAT TO SAVE THE KINGDOM?! THANK GOD HE SAW HER JOKE BOOK, HOLY SHIT

Positivity outweighs negativity!

"WHERE DOES A 800 POUND GORILLA SIT?!" "Where ever it wants!◝(⁰▿⁰)◜" Curse you for making me laugh...

OOH NO THE JOKEBOOK! - Wait nvm Mao remembers Adorabat's jokes!

I think the reason they used that joke is because it represents Mao Mao and Adorabat - Adorabat is blue, and she wants to be like Mao Mao, who wears red. What is BLUE, and smells like (is similar to) RED paint?

YAAAY HE BROKE HER FREE FROM MIND CONTROL!! And did BC get Thanos snapped in the background?

"Thank goodness you're alright! We almost..." Fucking murdered you? Yea

"Might we have our crown and kingdom back, yes?"

"Sorry for being such a monster today." "You're a monster everyday." Is that a joke because she was today's villain, a reference to Sleeper Sofa or foreshadowing?

I hope Mao Mao and Badgerclops decide to investigate what's up with the Heart in Season Two, cause I highly doubt they'll let Adorabat getting fucking possessed go under the radar.

The visual gag of Mao trying to stomp out his ice cream cone like a cigarette is perfect. This is peak comedy everyone else go home

WHOOP CHESTER'S ASS GUYS

Strange Bedfellows

"So, your name is Boss Hosstrich, but you're not actually the boss?" How long did it take him to realize that

JFC Mao & Orangusnake are REALLY hellbent on killing each other huh...at least the deputies and the other Sky Pirates have common sense.

Hahaha nice Dragon Ball Z reference - and they both got crushed by the monster! Lovely.

...did Mao seriously think he died and went to heaven?

So does Orangusnake breathe through Tanner or do they both breathe independently & Coby can feel when Tanner can't?

Dang those skeletons remind me of the Steven Universe Future episode Growing Pains. And why is Lucky inside of Orangusnake? "THAT WAS MY LUNCH, JERK!" Ooh that's why.

"They're full of these tiny, little cracks or, as they're known in the medical field, 'whoopsie-boo-boos'." AGSADGASGADGDASG

Damn their skeletons are just gonna freaking evaporate huh...

"The doctor said I was very brave :D"

Ooh shit the Deputies and the other Sky Pirates met at the same elevator, are they gonna fight - nevermind, they're still calling time.

JESUS CHRIST ARE MAO & ORANGUSNAKE EVER GONNA STOP?!

"You don't have the guts!" "I have a million guts." That is...mildly concerning

"Yeah, I wanted to be a baker, before I realized I liked hurting people so much." Then why doesn't she just like, help Muffins or something?

Tbh I thought Ratarang was holding a gun and I'm glad it was just a weirdly wrapped banana

CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME.

"Aww, y'all shouldn't have - this is empty." "Just like my heart when you injure yourself!!" He loves him sm...💓💓

"Why didn't you bring me weapons?!" "Because this is a hospital, and I'm a good boy (◡‿◡ )"

"I really feel like this could be a turning point in their relationship." (Mao and Orangusnake proceed to try and kill each other again) *sigh*

Ngl Mao & Orangusnake constantly repeating themselves is getting super annoying.

That hospital bed beeping is giving me flashbacks to all the times I went to the hospital for seizures...

"You know y'all could live like this, like, all the time if you didn't go around hurting people, right?" "Pssh! Tsk-tsk, boy. You know I gots to hurt people." Uhh you guys should really listen to Badgerclops he knows what tf he's talking about

UUhh, whose egg is that? "MAMA" ASGagddahDh

Of course they had to land in freaking CEMENT to realize that maybe they shouldn't kill each other

Did Mao just deflate like a ballo- oh nvm there he go.

Boneless Mao. Boneless Mao.

And Mao saved Orangusnake!! By...breaking every bone in his body somehow.

"I'm the kind of hero who wants to save you so I can fight you later...at the right time and place." Just gonna file this along with the credit score scene from Perfect Couple in the 'Orangumao' folder.

Is Badgerclops duct taping Mao to the stretcher? I mean, at least he won't move & hurt himself again but geez

Tbh Zing would’ve made a better finale than this ep. At least it had a sequel hook

[sluttyten]

pushed to the edge

summary: You made Taeil angry when you sent him a video of you playing with yourself while he was away, so the moment he gets home, he’ll show you the wrongness of your ways.

words: 1,598

pairing: Taeil x Reader

tags: oppa kink, spanking, sex toys, orgasm denial

We’ll talk about this when I get home.

You stare at the message on your phone, at the video clip you’d sent to Taeil just before that, and you bite your lip nervously. You know you shouldn’t have pushed him, shouldn’t have tried to make him mad, but part of you looks forward to being punished.

Taeil should be getting home any moment now. You know the plane landed because you saw the photos online, so you know it’s only a matter of time before he walks through that door. 

We’ll talk about this when I get home.

The clock seems to be moving faster, you swear. And although touching yourself got you into this whole mess, you kind of want to touch yourself now. Just thinking of what Taeil will do when he gets there has you wet. 

We’ll talk about this when I get home. 

You move around the place, cleaning things about absentmindedly, nervously moving stuff around, just anticipating the moment you’ll get to see Taeil again after he’s been gone for a week. 

You’re busy organizing magazines on the coffee table when you hear the door open and close. Slowly you turn to look, and there Taeil stands, already sliding his belt off, and he calls your name with a certain edge to his voice. You look back down at the magazines.

“Did you think I would just forgive you, baby?” Taeil snaps his belt against his palm, and a shiver works it’s way along your spine. “I told you to be good for me while I was away, and what do you do?”

You hear the floor creak and then Taeil’s standing beside you, his belt rolled around his hand, and he thrusts his phone in front of your face.

The video you sent him is playing on the screen. You see your head thrown back, your fingers between your legs, wetness glistening on skin, and your slightly-distorted voice comes through the speakers moaning Taeil’s name.

“You knew I wouldn’t let you get away with this, so why did you do it?” His hand touches your thigh, once again sending a shiver through you, and this time you look up and meet his eyes. “Did you want me to punish you baby?”

“Taeil,” You grab his hand. “I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head. “No, you’re not. Get up. Come on.”

You stand and Taeil reaches for the waistband of your pants and he pulls them down right away. You’d foregone panties that morning, knowing that Taeil would be coming home, and now as he sees your cute butt on clear display for him, Taeil tuts at you.

“I missed you,” You tell him, reaching out to run your fingers through his hair, and you settle down on his lap. “The bed gets lonely when you’re not here. I get needy, oppa.”

Taeil shakes his head, and pushes you from his lap. “No. Bend over for me.”  He pats his thigh, and you take the position, bent over his lap. Taeil’s hand goes to your bottom, and then you feel the cold touch of his leather belt, and a thrill goes through you. This is why you sent him that video. This is what you wanted.

“Now, I want you to count for me, baby.” 

You nod. 

The first swing of the belt comes down against your ass, stinging red hot, and you moan, “One.” 

“Good.” Taeil’s other hand is cool for a moment on your skin before it’s gone, replaced by the sharp snap of the belt. 

“Two.” You whimper. “Taeil, oppa.”

Again the belt comes down and again, and your skin feels hot and raw. When Taeil brings his belt down against your ass for the fifth time, and you bite his thigh to muffle the sound that pours from your lips.

Taeil swears and tangles his fingers in your hair and brings the belt down once more. “Count for me, baby. Five.”

“Five.” Your neck is pulled back almost painfully, Taeil’s fingers tight in your hair, and you rut against his leg. “Oppa, please. I’ll be good for you. I learned my lesson.”

“You’ve learned nothing yet.” 

He drops the belt and you hear it hit the floor, and then Taeil bends over you, reaching for his bag which he dropped nearby. He rests his hand on your ass, slapping it just to feel you wiggle against him and whine. He spanks you once more, his palm flat against you, “Stay still.”

You turn your head to watch what he’s doing, and he digs inside his bag and draws out a dildo vibrator. He sits back upright and taps the toy on your butt, teasing it between your legs.

“Where did you get that?” You lay your cheek on the sofa cushion and look back at Taeil. 

“I made a stop on my way home. Don’t worry about it.” Taeil wags the vibrator at you. You watch as he spits on the dildo and then spreads it around the tip of the toy. “Spread your legs.”

You do exactly what he tells you, and Taeil runs the toy between your legs before he switches it on and holds it against your clit. You squirm and try to pull away, but Taeil spanks you and tells you not to move. 

The moans that you let out aren’t muffled by the sofa cushion even when you bite a mouthful of it. You squirm and buck your hips and Taeil tsks and after a moment finally pushes the toy inside you, and this time you twist, reaching back for his wrist, pleading, “Please, please, Taeil.” 

Taeil lets you move to lie down on your back on the sofa, and he pushes the toy deep inside you, set on the highest vibration setting. 

“Taeil, oppa, please!” 

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it, baby?” He teases, drawing the vibrator out only to push it deeply into you again. “You wanted me to make you feel good because you missed me and you were lonely, right, baby.”

You moan and reach down for his hands. “I wanted you. Just you. I want your cock inside me, I want you fucking me, making me feel so good. Please.”

Taeil moves your hands down to your sides, pinning them down. “Why should I let you get what you want? You didn’t listen to my rules, baby. You touched yourself, you came, and you sent me the proof. If you hadn’t done that you’d have gotten away with it.” He bends down and you squirm and moan and Taeil holds your wrists even tighter and presses a kiss against your clit.

“Please!” You cry out.

You think you can see a crack in Taeil’s rough, dominant facade. You want to see him break and give you what you want even if it means him fucking you hard and spamming you and calling you a brat the whole time. You want him, you want to be allowed to cum.

“Fuck,” Taeil swears when you squeeze your eyes shut and a few tears leak out. You try to grind down on the vibrator, but Taeil slaps your thigh. “Stop moving, baby.”

You reluctantly listen, your muscles wound tight with the effort to not move. Taeil reaches up to your face to wipe your tears, and then he kisses your thighs, and carefully switches the vibratory off then pulls it out, but not before teasingly fucking it back into you a few times.

And then suddenly you’re empty, your walls grasping around nothing before even more suddenly, they’re stuffed full again, Taeil’s hips flush against yours, his hands pushing your thighs higher so he can be deeper still inside you.

“Are you sorry yet, baby?” He groans, his hips slapping angrily against yours. “Next time I’m away you’ll obey me, won’t you?”

All you can manage is to moan, garbled words swirling on your tongue and never quite making it out. You cling to Taeil, making those senseless noises, craving the orgasm that’s held just out of reach.

“Be a good girl for me.” Taeil’s hand claps down on your thigh. “Answer me.”

“Yes, oppa! Yes, I’ll be a good girl, I’ll listen! I’ll never touch myself without your permission, oppa!” You can feel your orgasm, right there, so clise, and from the way Taeil’s fucking you now, you can tell he’s getting close to. “Please, please let me cum!”

“Not yet.” Taeil pushes into you hard enough you slide across the sofa cushions a bit. “You feel so good, baby. I really missed this while I was away.”

You whine. You can feel you orgasm right there, just a bit more and you’ll cum.

Taeil moans then, loud and filled with swearing, and he pulls out, painting your thighs and belly and pussy with his cum.

And your orgasm is ripped from your fingers. You’re empty, nothing inside of you, nothing stimulating you, and you cry out, reaching for Taeil’s hands, trying to pull his fingers inside of you.

“No, no.” Taeil shakes his head. “Only good girls get to cum. You’ll have to prove to me you can be a good girl before I let you cum, baby.”

When he gets up off of you and walks away, leaving you unsatisfied and covered in his cum, you know that he’s right. You’ll have to be the best girl for him, a little angel subject to his every whim, and honestly, you can’t wait to please him.

You leave the sofa and follow him to the bedroom. Tonight’s only just begun.

requests: can you please do more dirty imagines with taeil, it would mean so much ! thanks cutie 💞 (btw i love u) // I wish you were taking requests because that Taeil reaction for making him mad has me crazy. Like how’re you just gonna end it with him taking off his belt as soon as he gets home?? That’s just rude ;-; Lol

a/n: this was probably bad sorry 🙈 also I was really tempted to name this ‘good girls are bad girls that haven’t been caught’

[sanguinesprout]

It’s been ever so rainy and cold lately... (gloomy feels and stuff about money, re-motivating myself and general updates)

I’m... gnnrgh... I’m sad. And confused. And tired. And feeling quite hopeless once more, why must it be so? Man, this sucks :<

I feel like I don’t know what I ‘m doing again and even though I know there’s stuff to do I keep distracting myself with pointless things and driving myself crazy with all the conflicted feelings and anxiety inside... The bouts of frustration and migraines are cropping up and spiralling outta control like nobody’s business and beating my down so badly ;^; 

It’s just there’s too much cooped up in my head. Too many things to worry about, too many things I want to say and do but I feel I can’t because of the fear trapping it all in and the pressure just continues to build up and it hurts and feels so constricted in my head, my heart and just everywhere. I wish I could gather my thoughts and just get things under control and running smoothly like other people can but it’s just so hard and so exhausting just trying. 

I need to stop and refocus myself, calm my mind and chest, c’mon I can do it..! I’m struggling now but I’ll be fine, I’ll find my way out of the storm and I’ll be able to see and breathe clearly again, it’s going to be okay... so don’t worry yourself so much, you're trying and that’s enough... *hugs self*

Welp... ran outta time to write and it became the next...next(?) day. Time meaning space to be all secretive and weird contemplative as my sis came home and I didn’t want to feel on edge. Why am I like this...? :< 

I got real sad again later, thinking and being reminded of my much less than ideal financial situation and joblessness got me in such a low mood. The loneliness and want for attention or some kind of reassurance or help kinda crawled out and just sat there too. Money is such a troublesome thing, I regret the times in the past where I whittled it almost completely away by frivolously buying unnecessary amounts of things of interest (probably to try cheer myself up). The happiness from material items is only temporary, fleeting and quickly forgotten. I’m such a wasteful person in so many ways orz. But I’ve learned from my mistakes! (Mostly... kinda... lol) So that’s something! :D

I’ve really been wanting to buy a new phone because mine is so old and dysfunctional in too many ways to list and I’ve been suffering with it for half a decade because I didn’t want to waste money or for my parents to waste their money on me. There were a few times in the past and even recently where I had a chance to get a new one or few times I did purchase a new phone but swiftly returned it either because I felt guilty about it or it just wasn’t right cause I’m so damn nit picky. I don’t want to keep waiting because I have done it so much already, waiting and missing opportunities... I don’t even know how to phrase what I’m trying to say or what even I am trying to say .__. 

Some people don’t even have a phone at all, it makes me feel like such a spoilt and horrible person but it really is in need of replacing... It’s just I don’t have an appropriate amount of funds or that I am aiming for something of the calibre that I don’t need but just want. If I had that new and functional phone I feel like it would bring back some of my lost motivation and give more opportunity for me to try harder to grow my skills also. Photography and other creative skills, social skills, those kinds of things which I’ve yearned to improve but lack the equipment or means to carry out. I bet I sound so damn ridiculous right now, I don’t even...

Right before my eyes my sister got a new phone, she’s had a few in the span I’ve had one, but it’s true, she can afford to because she has a job. I’m happy for her but I know I am envious too, not just that she has a phone, but that she has a job, that she’s not scared to try or to put herself out there etc etc. Also when someone really wants something and has been holding back but someone else just gets it right in front of them, it just idk it kinda stings and brings on those nasty emotions. Everyone tells me to get a job and then I can spend or save money, and of course I know this too. It sounds so simple to them and even to me sometimes and I just wish I could but there’s so many health factors and stupid fears holding me back, it’s so hard. I’m so weak... But, I can’t give up trying, I’ll get there someday.

Anyways enough of that, I’ll figure it out, it’s not of major importance right now. I worry all the time about being a burden to my family financially, we’re definitely not well off in terms of money or health or anything and I don’t want to bring anymore strain to it :< Those whole few sections of garble were so negative and gloomy and unimportant. I feel like such an ass... but this blog is here so I can vent and write out my real feelings... it’s okay... it’s fine, it’s good to do so, keep going..! ><

*Le few days later* Uh... uh what was I saying? @.@ Lolol I was originally gonna post on the day after my first therapy appointment but then I got lazy/avoidy and thought I’d wait till after the next one, but then I changed my mind again and welp, now the next app is tomorrow, oh well xD

*le even moar days later* Hah! Now it’s been another whole week... mega ||ORZ...!!!!1 I remember I was going to write about how the therapy went but I think I’ll put it in a separate post just to keep things more organised and less lengthy, makes sense mmm k! I’ll continue with my other misc updates I guess ^^

Welp, I got a new phone... Though there’s that niggling feeling of guilt still there (especially since my parents will only get handy downs from my sister to save money), I’m glad I was able to do so and I’m very thankful to my family members that helped me obtain it both financially and physically. I chose one that is on the expensive side, but not too bad in terms of other phones on the same level which are considerably much much more pricey. It’s one that feels like great value for the spec it has and I hope it lasts me lots of years without messing up, I have a bit of a curse when it comes to technology lol. 

I can do all sorts on it which I couldn’t do before, from some of the more basic stuff to some cool new stuff, it feels really refreshing but makes me kinda nervous too. I can actually download and use the tumblr app there, I’m hoping I can make use of it now that it is finally functional and easily accessible. I want to make a lot of good memories with it, snippets of daily life with my family, some creative stuff, whatever I choose to do online with it and that kind of stuff C:

In terms of life skill improving/adulting these past weeks I actually cooked my first sort of dish all by myself! It was fish cakes ^^ It was when I went to my sister’s house again for some more crafting time. I was actually having a crappy day/was in a super low mood that day (which got worse being in the same environment as last time) and actually had a bit of a breakdown on the journey to the supermarket to get ingredients. Idk... I was just so hesitant and scared and avoidant and got into a bit of an argument with my sis who was driving and all the sort of thoughts that had been bringing me down lately just surfaced again all at once and I tried so hard not to but the tears just came busting out.

I cried so hard and so pathetically and while I know it is not a bad thing to cry and rather a good one to let things out I just didn’t want to feel so weak in front of my sister or in front of shoppers that may pass by in the car park. I know... crying =/= weak but feeling so emotionally vulnerable, it just sucks. I didn’t cry for too long even though the intensity of my sob-fest one was one of the strongest I’ve ever had, because I still wanted to go in, get my ingredients and cook my first dish. I wanted to do this to prove to myself and my parents that I’m capable, I can learn to be independent, that I’m not useless... I’m not, I won’t be, I can do this!

My sister encouraged me and comforted me, telling me stories of when she had also cried in the car during stressful occasions with her boyfriend or with dad. I want to mention again how grateful I am to have her, even though our lines get crossed and we stress at each other a lot, she is there for me and I want to be there for her too when she needs it. It was because of her that I have the opportunity and the boost of motivation to try cooking something on my own.

I sat in the car in the corner of the car park (which she kindly moved to by my request) and when I had calmed down enough and wasn’t so puffy we went in and looked for the ingredients together. When it came to getting fresh produce I also learned how to use the labelling scale machine by my sis’ instruction which felt like something great too! ^^ I mean it probably sounds super lame and straight forward but if I was on my own I probably wouldn’t of even tried or had a bit of a panic. Idk... I just feel like for new things, witnessing someone’s demonstration or instruction is much more helpful and I’ll feel less like I’d make a fool of myself.

Okay so I got the stuff and then I made it following a brief internet recipe. My sister left me to do it all myself while she did her stuff upstairs after getting out all the necessary equipment for me so there wasn’t really much pressure unlike what it’d probably be like if I did it at home. It did take me much longer than I though it would but I was very careful about everything and as I am a noob I did make some small mistakes, but I was proud I did it! I wonder if my parents were too..? 

I finished cooking them at home (which my mum wanted my dad to do for me but I was adamant on doing it myself) and my parents tried one fish cake each over supper, though it was not perfect they were not mean to me about it which was nice. I thought my dad might be more critical and at first I thought he was a bit annoyed at me but I think he can see my efforts and how excited about it I was. It was fun and it has given me more motivation to try something else next time. I’m glad I tried, pursued something and competed it even though I was trying to get out of it last minute. I’ll give myself a pat on the back, because I did it! :D

I also went to visit my grandma with my family yesterday, which is something I have not done in probably a year or so. That’s kind of one of the other things I think about a lot and am also kind of envious of others about... I am not close with any of my relatives and it feels like a chore for my family to visit or be visited by them. I wish there wasn’t this language barrier or this physical and emotional distance between me, my family and my relatives, it blows.

It was nice seeing her and she had a good chat with my parents (though mostly random negative health stuff and gossip) and little with me and my sis. I noticed my mum doesn’t seem that close with her, look at her much and only chipped in to conversations at times while my dad generally was the one to initiate and continue the chatting. It feels... Idk... it makes me sad of course. But I wonder if it is because she doesn’t like seeing her mum growing old and living on her own, that it reminds her she is also getting old which is always on her mind too as well as it just being that way. When we were leaving I hugged my grandma, it wasn’t a proper bear hug or anything, just a pat on the back loose gesture because she probably didn’t expect it. I’ve never hugged her before after all, but I wanted to and no language barrier can get in the way of it. My sister followed and did the same too. It brought back an element of warmth and closeness which fizzled out when I couldn’t converse earlier. I want to spend more time with my family and relatives, I need to try harder.

Though I feel as if I haven’t done much on the surface, these things I did recently to do with family and therapy felt like such big and meaningful steps and I hope to continue even more. Also I said I was going to post stuff that I made to my main blog and to other places a long while back and and I have been hesitating and holding back out of fear and uncertainty non-stop. Well, I’m gonna start doing it for reals real soon. There’s no rules and there’s no need to overthink it, it’s just a place to store my progress and memories in essence but in a slightly more open space. I have the material, the means and I’m gonna try my best to grasp onto the motivation, I can’t keep excusing myself for those any more and I most certainly can’t let my silly fears win! 

I should probably get to writing my therapy posts and getting all my other important health things done and organised too. C’mon I can do this! I came on and continued writing this post even though I was struggling and scared to, another one should be a piece of (sour but refreshingly zesty lemon) cake! *salivates*

Mmm...alrighty, off I go! >:D (Maybe some lazy time first though my eyes huuurt @w@)

Have a nice evening and keep kicking butt~! ^^

[bloggingwithfrenchie]

Frenchie’s Bachelor Recap: Week 4

We pick up right where we left off last week, which is lucky for us because we get to watch Vanessa tell off Nick for a second time. Girl is not fucking around, she looks literally stunning and manages to tell Nick to stop acting like a horny teenager without sounding like his mom. I want to be her when I grow up. She is 3000% too good for him, I hope he realizes that.

Nick promises to always be honest with Vanessa and to always give a direct answer to a direct question, which is interesting because his answer to her questions about Corinne is basically just a garbled mess of “I mean… Yeah…” and shrugging. “I mean yes I do want to eat whipped cream off of Corinne’s boob but I also want to eat it off of your boob so that’s really where I am right now.”

After Nick gets a good last look at everyone in their bikinis, it’s time for the rose ceremony. Brittany and Christen get sent home, which isn’t really surprising except I thought they might keep Christen around a little longer to play out the virgin storyline. Probably Nick found out and was like “fuck that, I need to sleep with everyone at least once before the fantasy suites.” Christen takes off her heels literally the second she walks out the front door which is great and so #relatable. I’ll miss her.

Everyone is pissed and “shocked” that Corinne got a rose, but Nick is too distracted by the boner he got in the bouncy castle to really care. I am mostly just wondering what Josephine is still doing there, since she seems to be high most of the time and I think her and Nick have exchanged a total of like 4 words so far. Maybe they’re keeping her around for Bachelor in Paradise.

The next day, the women are sitting around doing their usual activity of drinking wine at 10am, which honestly is the kind of life I aspire to. Chris Harrison arrives to tell them they’re about to embark on a journey around the world… starting with the exotic destination of Waukesha, Wisconsin, where Nick and his 35 siblings account for about 10% of the population. Everyone pretends to be excited, or maybe they’ve just gone so stir-crazy in the house that literally anywhere sounds good to them at this point.

In Wisconsin, we see Nick meet with his parents to talk about his experience so far. His mom cries because her 36 year-old son has spent the better part of the last few years on a reality dating show either sleeping with or proposing to the nearest available woman. His dad is basically just like, “stop doing this. Why are you still doing this.”

Nick makes all of the women meet him somewhere in Waukesha, only to tell them “lol bye” and take Danielle L on a one-on-one date. The date consists of them walking around while Nick points out different places where he’s hooked up with girls in the past, which is pretty much any building or patch of grass accessible to the public. They also have a “surprise” run-in with one of Nick’s ex-girlfriends (def just a former booty call who wanted to be on TV), which is so staged they may as well have shown the producers onscreen directing it. We don’t learn anything interesting from this encounter other than that Danielle is really bad at fake laughing.

That night, Nick and Danielle’s boobs have drinks and talk about their feelings. Danielle tells him that because of her parents’ divorce, she definitely doesn’t want to rush into a relationship or marriage. Has anyone told her the premise of this show? Nick gives her a rose anyway because they have great “physical chemistry”, aka he really wants to sleep with her.

For the group date, they go to a dairy farm and learn how to take care of cows. The women all pretend to be into shoveling cow shit so that Nick doesn’t think they’re high maintenance, except for Corinne who sits outside and tries to Seamless sushi. Nick fails spectacularly at milking a cow, which prompts Jaimi to go into slightly disturbing detail about how to properly caress a teat. Clearly she learned a thing or two from her ex-girlfriend.

At the cocktail party that night, the women decide to “act in Nick’s best interest” by ganging up on Corinne. Their complaints boil down to her sleeping through a rose ceremony (lol) and the fact that she’s immature and annoying AF (fair). I’m honestly not sure why they care so much, but I guess alcohol + boredom = drama, as the producers of this show know very well. Corinne is unfazed; she responds by shoving her cleavage at the camera (a universally recognized sign of maturity), implying that Abraham Lincoln was a prolific napper, and likening herself to a juicy, buttery ear of corn. Yum.

Below is a list of foods that Corinne brings up during this episode:  

-          Tacos (preferably chicken)

-          Sushi

-          An ear of corn

-          A pickle

I think I’ve found the only other person in the world who thinks about food as much as I do.

The second one-on-one is with Raven, and it essentially turns out be a hometown date in week 4. Nick’s reason for picking her basically boils down to “I knew she would be chill and not crazy”, which is really saying something when you consider that her name is Raven. They go to his sister’s soccer game (Bella is so cute and has yet to realize that her brother is kind of a loser horndog) and then Raven meets his parents, who are probably wondering if he’s proposed to her yet.

After spending the rest of the day at a rollerblading rink, they go to dinner and Raven tells the story of how she walked in on her ex literally penetrating another woman (Raven: “I saw her vagina” Nick: “I’d like to see your vagina”). This story involves her 1) kicking in a door and 2) assaulting her ex with a stiletto; Nick watches his life flash before his eyes and glances around furtively for security. The night ends with the producers forcing them to put on rollerblades again and make out.

The episode concludes with another rose ceremony, and I don’t even remember what happened because I was too busy shouting at my TV for Corinne and Taylor to shut the fuck up. The argument is basically Taylor telling Corinne she has “low emotional intelligence” and then being surprised when Corinne gets pissed off. Taylor is condescending, Corinne is unstable, and neither of them are mature enough to marry a 36 year-old man that they’ve known for 2 months. The end.

Highlight of the night: Alexis telling Nick her two great fears are “Nicolas Cage and aliens.” The voice of a nation.