#How to fix internet Internet Speed?

[quaranmine]

sigh. same desk, same wifi network, same wifi settings (protocol/band/channel/adapter connections), same network adapter, same OS, same drivers, same brand, nearly identical specs. and yet this is what my person laptop gets versus my work laptop

(wifi died in the middle of the last speedtest lol so it just stayed at 0.0 upload)

[alchemiclee]

my dad swears we have the fastest internet my isp offers (I looked it up and its 1GB, while the slowest is 300mps) but when I test my speed, it's on average 3-5mps. P A I N.

[ozzgin]

I may not be that original anon but could we pawhaps have some platonic yandere computer virus 👀

I'll go with Internet Monster since that's the standard computer-based OC I have. If that's alright with you. :)

Yandere!Internet Monster with a computer-illiterate Reader who keeps getting into trouble.

That’s how the digital horror stumbled upon you: it had been accidentally downloaded onto your computer. It smirked to itself, enjoying a certain pride in the fact that it managed to sneak around undetected, until it discovered there was no defense to begin with. You were just a dumbass, clicking around cheerfully oblivious.

By the eldritch Gods, you really have no sense of danger. It found viruses, bugs, old software, even a spying extension triggered whenever you’d turn on your webcam.

Well, someone has to look after you. It began cleaning your computer thoroughly, perching its binary ears whenever you loudly remarked the sudden, unexplained speed and efficiency. You wondered if your digital assistant had somehow fixed itself.

Moreover, you are now under strict surveillance, as the Internet monster ensures there won’t be anymore hacking and scamming.

“What the…” you huff and click the button again.

Are you sure you want to download this file? Your antivirus protection has detected suspicious contents.

You pout at the screen. Is there no way to skip these bizarre checks? When did they even show up, anyways?

Another click.

Sorry, (Y/N), you can’t be trusted. No download for you.

You stare, bewildered and mildly embarrassed to be called out like that.

[lazysoulwriter]

just a little behind, okay? - jj maybank.

---

JJ wasn’t dumb.

He was reckless, impulsive, loud as hell, and a certified menace to society, sure. But he wasn’t dumb.

He could fix a boat engine blindfolded. Knew every street on the island like the back of his hand. Had survival instincts that would put a Navy SEAL to shame. And yet—yet—his friends, usually halfway to wasted, loved to throw around the word like it didn’t mean anything.

“Bro, you didn’t even know Vermont was a state.”

“Because I don’t care, John B!” he’d yell back, flipping him off with a beer in one hand and a joint in the other.

It was all jokes. Harmless. Mostly.

But tonight?

Tonight you were drunk and in love and ready to fight.

The group was huddled around a fire, laughter spilling into the humid night, bodies tangled across chairs and blankets, bottles clinking every five seconds. JJ had just tried to explain something (god knows what) about how birds definitely control the government, and Pope—sober enough to function, just drunk enough to be a little bold—laughed and said, “Bro, you are literally so dumb sometimes, it’s unreal.”

You froze mid-sip of your drink.

JJ laughed it off, shoulders shaking like it didn’t hit. But you saw the flicker in his eyes. That half-second of ow before he masked it with a grin.

And that? That pissed you off.

You stood, wobbled, pointed your finger at Pope with dramatic flair.

“Don’t.”

Everyone turned.

Pope blinked. “What?”

“Don’t call him dumb.” You hiccuped. “He’s not dumb. He’s just…he’s just…” You spun to face JJ, who looked confused and amused and maybe a little scared.

You pointed at him now. “You’re not dumb, baby.”

JJ, already grinning: “Thanks, mama.”

You whipped back to Pope, swaying like a palm tree in a hurricane. “He’s just a little behind sometimes. That’s different. That’s like... like when a computer freezes but it’s still a good computer, you know?”

John B choked on his drink.

“I’m a good computer,” JJ whispered proudly, eyes wide with adoration.

“Exactly!” you shouted, throwing your arms up like you’d just won a case in court. “My baby is a good computer! Sometimes he needs to, like, buffer! But he still got, like, all the tabs open in there. He just—he needs a second, okay?”

Kiara was howling.

Pope tried not to laugh. “I didn’t mean it like that, I just—”

“No!” you shouted. “He makes you laugh. He’s brave as fuck. He’d fight a bear for y’all. And he remembers my coffee order every single time, even when I forget it. That’s not dumb. That’s, like, boyfriend genius.”

JJ, completely smitten: “I am a boyfriend genius.”

“You are,” you nodded, stumbling over to him and practically flopping into his lap. “You’re my little genius baby.”

He wrapped his arms around you like it was second nature. “Say it again.”

“My. Little. Genius. Baby.”

“God, I love you,” he muttered into your neck.

You sat up straight, raising a finger again for dramatic emphasis. “And if anyone calls him dumb again, I’ll fight. I’ll fight all of you. I boxed for two weeks in middle school. Don’t test me.”

At that point, everyone was laughing too hard to respond. Even Pope threw his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay! He’s not dumb! He’s… buffering.”

JJ kissed your cheek. “Thanks for the antivirus, babe.”

You giggled, melting into him. “Anything for my high-speed internet boyfriend.”

And that was it. The conversation moved on, the fire crackled, the beers kept flowing—but JJ couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the night.

Because no one ever had his back like you.

---

[bubbleggum444]

—❝LO۷ESTⱤUCK FAN❞

𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 damian wayne x fem!reader, youtuber!reader au, fluff, 2k+ wc.

𝑠𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠 now that you've started accepting fan mail, damian jumps at the chance to send you something (though, honestly, he’d send himself if he could). pt 2 of "unexpected crush?!" (@liabiamiakiawia hope you like it 🫶🏻) pt 3.

No. Freaking. Way.

Was this a dream? A hallucination? Some cruel trick of the mind?

There was no way she actually posted her address. But as he blinked at the screen, rereading the words for the hundredth time, the reality hit him like a Batarang to the chest:

"Accepting fan gifts/letters! Address & city number: xxxxx. Can't wait to see what my luvies gift me :)"

His heart stopped. Then restarted at double the speed.

He. Was. Ecstatic.

Well—ecstatic in a very Damian Wayne, son of an assassin and the Dark Knight, kind of way.

A normal person might be pacing, grinning, maybe even screaming into a pillow. But Damian? He just sat there, staring at the screen, his grip tightening on his phone as his brain raced a thousand miles per second.

This was huge. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The only chance he’d ever have to send her something, something meaningful—something that would make her smile.

Immediately, he started skimming through her videos, mind buzzing with possibilities. What did she like? What did she need? What could he give her that would stand out from the rest?

Something perfect. It had to be perfect.

After intense (possibly obsessive) research, he finally settled on three things:

1. A Beauty of Joseon skincare set—not that a face as flawless as hers needed skincare. If anything, the skincare needed her.

2. A cute hairclip set—he remembered her gushing over some in a video. Hers were old, but she hated overconsumption, always mindful of her brand collaborations (another thing about her that made his heart do weird things: her caringness for the planet).

3. Some top-tier Chinese makeup—only the best for her.

His lips curled into a satisfied smirk as he saw the total.Just a casual $1K. Nothing much for a Wayne.

Then again… if she asked, he'd get her the moon and stars. Nothing was ever too much for her. Ever.

By the time he finalized his list, it was nearly noon. And by the time he finished hunting everything down in-store, it was noon.

Now, back in his room, Damian sat cross-legged on his floor, staring at the disaster zone of wrapping paper around him.

He exhaled sharply, frustration bubbling up as he crumpled yet another piece of pink wrapping paper—now a casualty of way too much tape—and chucked it aside.

This was so new to him. He barely ever gave gifts, and even when he did, Alfred was the one who wrapped them.

With a sigh, Damian pulled out his phone and searched, How to wrap gifts (EASY and pretty).

Following the tutorial with painstaking precision, his thoughts started to wander.

It wasn’t like he was an idiot. After a full week of stubborn denial, he’d finally accepted it—he had a crush. A real, actual crush on a girl he’d never even met.

And honestly? That annoyed him. Apparently, there was some illness where people obsessed over their favorite celebrities or internet personalities.

But he wasn’t sick! Sure, there were plenty of things wrong with him—a packaged deal that came with being the son of his parents—but this? This wasn’t an obsession. And he was definitely not a stalker.

He just... really liked this girl.

Pausing mid-task, he set down the half-wrapped package and reached for a pen and paper.

"Dear ___,My name is Damian Wayne. I'm a teen from Gotham..."

Hours passed—writing, re-writing, crumpling papers, fixing the bow on the package that would soon be crossing oceans.

Finally, Damian collapsed onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

He sighed.

Please let this work.

Sitting up, he picked up the now perfectly wrapped gift box, his fingers absentmindedly tracing along the frilly bow.

And then, without thinking, he brought the box to his lips, pressing a light kiss against it.

Oh. Oh.

A wave of déjà vu hit him— reminding him of the air-kiss he tried to catch through his laptop screen a week prior.

For a second, he just sat there, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips before he scoffed softly at himself.

Damian Wayne had officially lost. He liked her. Like liked her.

And now, all he could do was hope—pray—that this box, this dumb little package of gifts, would somehow, someway, connect them.

Maybe. Just maybe. Something real would come out of this stupid crush.

"Tch… emotions suck."

He laughed under his breath, though there was no real bite to his words.

Setting the package on his bedside table, he turned off the light and crawled into bed.

Tomorrow, he’d send it.

And then? He’d wait.

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

𝑏𝑢𝑏𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑔𝑔𝑢𝑚444©

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 <𝟑

[miaowmo]

internet show me people wearing suits. show me people wearing suits on the verge of wetting themselves and trying very hard to hide it. show me them doing anything in their power to prevent their subordinates from seeing them like this. show me them breathing heavy and sweating and stiffly shifting around and choking on their words and making excuses to leave this conversation with as straight of a face as they can manage so they can awkwardly half speed-walk half hobble to the nearest unoccupied bathroom. show me them frantically undoing their pants as soon as they’re out sight. show me the look of bliss breaching the embarrassment when they can finally go. show me the wet patch in their underwear that they pretend to themself is sweat but the audience knows is not. show me them washing their hands and splashing water on their flushed face and fixing their hair and fixing their suit and leaving the bathroom looking visibly more put together than how they entered.

[konjiang]

Cumplane AU slightly nsfw? Finger kink?

SQH crashed at SY place because his internet went out.

SY watched as SQH rapidly typed while munching on some seeds. No matter how many times he saw it, he will always be shocked at the sheer speed SQH completes writing assignments. He watched as those fingers curled and stretched across the keyboard while pressing all the right letters.

'What else can those fingers do...' SY snapped his eyes back to his own laptop, trying to forget whatever dumbass thoughts he got when he was around SQH.

SY couldn't focus on any of the words on his screen. He had to reread the page over again when he saw the way SQH sat up and stretched.

"Cucumber-Bro," SQH said as he smiled at SY, "I'm done. Do you want to do anything?" SQH started moving and rolling his hand and wrist.

'Do anything...what about me-' SY mind was wandering again, and he needed to focus before he let's SQH control his mind again. They are just two bro sitting 5 ft apart because he's not gay!

"You think everyone can type like that? Stop bothering me and go do something else." SY needed SQH to be away from him before he says or does anything weird.

"Alright, alright, you are such an asshole sometimes." SQH pouted as he grabbed a couple dessert from the pantry.

"Hey! Why are you eating my food?" SY watched as SQH opened a bag of veggie straws.

"Bro, I'm hungry, and you're rich. Here, I'll feed you." SQH declared as he shoved a veggie straw in SY face, giving SY direct access to those fingers. He carefully bit the straw and avoided SQH's hand. Soon, they got into a rhythm, where SY would open his mouth, and SQH would feed him. It was still hard to focus, but SY was proud of himself for getting some work done. He opened his mouth and closed it when he felt something else in his mouth. This time, when he bit down, his lips surrounded half of SQH's index finger.

SY was panicking, 'WTF WTF WTF', but he didn't release SQH's finger.

"Uhmm, bro? Can I have my finger back? Should I be scared that you acquired a taste for human flesh?" SQH teased and wiggled his finger a little, causing SY's face to burn up. He couldn't let SQH have the last word in any conversation.

"No." SY said as he grabbed SQH's wrist and doubled down, biting and sucking SQH's finger. He had expected a shriek or noises of disgust, but instead, SQH sticked another finger in SY's mouth.

This was going somewhere, and SY had no idea how to steer it back to normal. How could he when SQH's finger touches and pulls at his tongue. SQH leaned in closer, and SY could see that his face was also turning red.

"Shen Yuan..." SQH whispered as he gently placed his other hand on SY's face. He removed his fingers from SY's mouth. SY couldn't stop himself before he whined at the loss. However, his mind was now occupied by how close SQH face was. If he leaned a little more, their lips would be touching.

SY tilted his face into SQH's palm, and in turn, SQH caressed SY's face with his thumb. SY watched as SQH moved closer but made no moves to stop him. Their nose touch against each other, and SY could feel SQH's breath on his lips. SQH tilted his head and-- do nothing because SQH's phone rang, pulling them out of this weird tension.

'What were we about to do!' SY mind replayed every moment of their interaction and tried to come up with a logic conclusion. He can vaguely hear SQH talking in the background.

"Okay, okay, thank you. Bye. " SQH hung up, and they just both awkwardly stared at each other.

"Uhm, my internet got fixed."

"Oh," Shen Yuan said mindlessly.

"I should go..." SQH stood up, intending to gather his stuff, but he was stopped by SY grabbing his wrist and yanking him back down. SY could not leave this unresolved, or else SQH would get the wrong idea. He opened his mouth, wanting to spit out some excuses, but instead...

"Where do you think you're going? I haven't had a chance to taste human flesh yet."

[0sbrain]

here's a list of mozilla add-ons for all of you tumblrinas out there to have a better internet experience

also, if you like my post, please reblog it. Tumblr hates links but i had to put them so you adhd bitches actually download them <3 i know because i am also adhd bitches

BASIC STUFF:

AdGuard AdBlocker / uBlock Origin : adguard is a basic adblock and with origin you can also block any other element you want. for example i got rid of the shop menu on tumblr

Privacy Badger : this add on will block trackers. if an element contains a tracker it will give you the option to use it or not

Shinigami Eyes: this will highlight transphobic and trans friendly users and sites using different colors by using a moderated database. perfect to avoid terfs on any social media. i will explain how to use this and other add-ons on android as well under the read more cut

THINGS YOU TUMBLINAS WANT:

Xkit: the best tumblr related add on. with many customizable options, xkit not only enhances your experience from a visual standpoint, but provides some much needed accessibility tools

bonus: if you are into tf2 and wanna be a cool cat, you can also get the old version to add cool reblog icons

AO3 enhancer: some basic enhancements including reading time and the ability to block authors and tags

YOUTUBE

Return of the YouTube Dislike : pretty self explanatory

Youtube non-stop: gets rid of the annoying "Video paused. Continue watching?" popup when you have a video in the background

SponsorBlock: gives you options to skip either automatically or manually sponsors, videoclip non music sectors and discloses other type of sponsorships/paid partnerships

Enhancer for YouTube: adds some useful options such as custom play speed, let's you play videos in a window and most important of all, it allows you to make the youtube interface as ugly as your heart desires. I can't show a full image of what it looks like because i've been told its eye strainy and i want this post to be accessible but look at this <3

PocketTube: allows you to organize your subscriptions into groups

YouTube Comment Search: what it says

FINDING STUFF

WayBack Machine: you probably know about this site and definitely should get the add on. this allows you to save pages and access older versions with the click of a button. while you can search wayback using web archives, please get this one as well as it allows you to easily save pages and contribute to the archive.

Web Archives: it allows you to search through multiple archives and search engines including WayBack Machine, Google, Yandex and more.

Search by Image: allows you to reverse image search using multiple search engines (in my experience yandex tends to yield the best results)

Image Search Options: similar to the last one

this next section is pretty niche but... STEAM AND STEAM TRADING

SteamDB: adds some interesting and useful statistics

Augmented Steam: useful info specially for browsing and buying games

TF2 Trade Helper: an absolute godsend, lets you add items in bundles, keeps track of your keys and metal and your recent trades, displays links to the backpack tf page next to users profiles and more. look it tells me how much moneys i have and adds metal to trades without clicking one by one oh may god

IN CONCLUSION: oooooh you want to change to firefox so badly, you want to delete chrome and all the chrome clones that are actually just spyware and use firefox

HOW TO USE MOZILLA ADD-ONS ON YOUR PHONE

if you already use firefox on android, you'll know there are certain add-ons compatible with the app, some of them even being made just for the mobile version such as Video Background Play FIx. while most of them are pretty useful, some more specific ones aren't available on this version of the browser, but there's a way of getting some of them to work

you need to download the firefox nightly app, which is basically the same as the regular firefox browser but with the ability of activating developer mode. you can find how to do that here. once you've enabled it, you need to create a collection with all the add ons you want. i wouldn't recommend adding extensions if the creators haven't talked about phone compatibility, but XKit and Shinigami Eyes should work

also, don't tell the government this secret skater move, but you can try using both the regular firefox browser and nightly so you can have youtube videos in a floating box while you browse social media.

see? i can block this terf while Rick Rolling the people following this tutorial. isn't that tubular?

[tonysbed]

Die for you (8) | OP81

Oscar Piastri x Singer!reader

summary: It wasn’t oscar’s plan to be the one to fix your reputation and spice up his, yet here he is and..have your eyes always looked so..radiant and beautiful?

warnings: hateful people on the internet (are we surprised?)

not proofread

series masterlist | previous | next

-

The morning sun cast a soft glow over the Shanghai International Circuit as you and Oscar arrived together for the day’s events. The air buzzed with anticipation, not just from the fans but between the two of you as well. The memory of waking up entangled in each other’s arms still lingered, casting a shadow of awkwardness over your interactions.

As you walked side by side toward the McLaren garage, the usual easy banter was replaced with tentative small talk. “So, ready for today?” you asked, glancing at him.

Oscar nodded, his eyes fixed ahead. “Yeah, feeling good. The car’s been performing well.”

You offered a supportive smile, though internally you wrestled with the unspoken tension. “You’ve got this. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

The day unfolded with a mix of exhilaration and nerves. Oscar delivered a stellar performance in the Sprint Qualifying, securing a strong starting position for the Sprint Race. 

In the Sprint Race, he showcased his skill and determination, finishing in second place behind Lewis Hamilton. 

The culmination of the day’s efforts came during the main Qualifying session. With precision and speed, Oscar clinched his first-ever Formula One pole position, marking a significant milestone in his career.

As the team celebrated around you, you caught Oscar’s eye. The earlier awkwardness seemed to dissipate, replaced by genuine pride and happiness. You approached him, wrapping him in a warm hug. “I’m so proud of you, Oscar. You deserve this.”

He hugged you back tightly, his voice filled with emotion. “Thank you.”

You pull away again “You want me to wait in your drivers room?” “Sure. We could uh..” He scratched the back of his head “Go to dinner tonight.” He hesitated but quickly added “For the image” You nod “Of course. I’ll look for a good restaurant” He nods and someone from the team leads him away again. You make your way to his room and wait for him.

-

yn added to their story

oscarpiastri reposted a story

-

sabrinacarpenter that man really got me watching that sport. But hell that was great

yn right? It’s so fun to watch! So gutted I can’t go to Japan or Bahrain:((

sabrinacarpenter enjoying his company?👀

yn no. the races

sabrinacarpenter so you don’t want to be around him?

yn fuck off.

-

f1gossip

f1gossip Oscar Piastri and Yn Yln leaving the track together after qualifying and later being spotted having a cosy dinner together!

user is it me or is he not really being himself

user right??

user she’s so overly affectionate, it’s annoying

user they’re so cuteee

user can she just leave him alone?

user Slut honestly

user she’s so pretty

-

As Oscar crossed the finish line, the McLaren garage erupted in celebration. You stood among the jubilant team members, clapping and cheering, yet a subtle undercurrent of awkwardness lingered between you and Oscar, remnants of the previous night’s complexities.

In the post-race euphoria, Lando approached, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “Well, that calls for a celebration! What do you say we hit the town tonight?”

Oscar chuckled, glancing at you briefly before nodding. “Sounds like a plan.”

You smiled, masking the flutter of nerves. “Count me in.”

That evening, the team gathered at a chic Shanghai lounge, the atmosphere filled with laughter and clinking glasses. Despite the festivities, you and Oscar found yourselves stealing glances, each unsure how to navigate the blurred lines of your relationship.

As the night progressed, Lando, ever the instigator, nudged Oscar. “Come on, mate, lighten up! It’s your victory party!”

Oscar laughed, the tension easing slightly. “Alright, alright.”

You joined them, raising your glass. “To Oscar, and to many more wins!”

The group cheered, and for a moment, the awkwardness dissipated, replaced by genuine camaraderie.

Later, as the party wound down, you found yourself alone on the balcony, overlooking the vibrant city lights.

Oscar walked past the balcony but stops in his tracks as he sees you. He stares at you for a moment and weighs his options. He walks towards you slowly.

He sighed, leaning against the railing. “It’s been quite a day.”

You nodded, choosing your words carefully. “You’ve earned it, Oscar. Truly.”

He met your gaze, a mixture of gratitude and uncertainty in his eyes. “Thanks. And… about everything else—”

You shook your head gently. “Let’s not overthink it tonight. Let’s just enjoy this moment.”

He smiled, the tension easing further. “Agreed.”

As you stood side by side, the city sprawling beneath you, the complexities of your relationship remained, but for now, they were overshadowed by shared triumph and the promise of what lay ahead.

-

yn

liked by oscarpiastri, sabrinacarpenter, mclaren and 2.4 m others

yn P1 BABY 🧡 (you did not see me cry on the broadcast. It didn’t happen.)

*tagged Oscarpiastri*

oscarpiastri 🧡🧡

yn so proud of youuu

oscarpiastri ❤️

sabrinacarpenter 👏👏

mclaren our goat ✋

user no we did see you cry, AND IT WAS ADORABLE

user are you gonna be in japan too?

yn no I have shows to do ☹️

user noooooo

user now she’s ungrateful that she has sold out shows, wow

user go gold dig someone else

user ewwww

user oscar is overrated

user sleeping on the highway tonight

-

A few hours later your back on the balcony, drinks had been flowing endlessly and the air go thicker by the second.

You lean on the railing again and close your eyes. Suddenly someone else stands next to you. You turn and look at him.

“You good?” Lando’s voice is kinda slurred but you manage to understand him “Yeah, you?” “Definitely. But you are aware that your boyfriend is inside, right?”

“Yeah. Why would I not?” Lando looks at you with concern “Let me rephrase. Who he’s with inside” You raise an eyebrow “What?” “They seem to know each other pretty well and..It looks like she is kinda into him.”

“Sure.” You huff “Fine, don’t believe me.” “It doesn’t matter. We’re not actually a couple, Lando.” Lando sighs and tilts his head “Not to mention we don’t even know each other that long.”

“we both know you feel more than PR for him.” He walks away before you can protest. You watch him go back inside and bite your lip.

-

You gripped your new drink with a force, you’re surprised it hasn’t broken yet. You stare at the girl standing next to oscar. Lando was right.

Alexandra stops next to you and you side eye her “How is charles?” “Annoyed of course. But he’ll bounce back. He always does. Just gotta take a moment now” “Good that there is a break now”

She hums as she analyses you -or more your glare at the girl next to oscar “Go over and talk to him.”

“No.” She sighs “Starring isn’t gonna help.” “Maybe it will. Or maybe..” You glance over at Lando, who was standing at the bar, waiting for his drink.

“No, yn. That’s stupid.” “Is it? Two can play that game” Alex groans “It’s his teammate.” “And I don’t actually mean it” You smile at her and look behind her. Charles arm goes around his girlfriend.

“Hey” You smile at him “Hey” You give alex a little wave and make your way over to lando. He takes his drink from the bartender and was about to turn away when you reach him.

“Norris” He takes a sip from his drink and eyes you carefully “Yln. Have we finally come to our senses” You shrug and step closer to him “You’re a nightmare” He chuckled.

“Am I?” You smile “Yep. Not to mention, Oscar is starring holes into me.” “Good. Dance?” You hold out your hand to him “That’s quite risky and stupid” “That’s your second name, Lando”

He rolls his eyes, but in his drunken state he doesn’t question it further and lets you lead him on the dance floor.

-

Over where Oscar was standing, Charles and Alexandra arrived. Oscar barley acknowledged them and ignored the brunette next to him. His eyes were fixed on Lando’s hands that gripped your waist.

But oscar’s patience runs out when you laid your hands around lando’s neck. He pushed his glas into Charles hand and made his way through the crowd.

Before you could react, Oscar slammed your glass onto a nearby table, grabbed your hand, glared at Lando and pulled you out of the club.

You follow him worldless, catching Alexandra’s eye from afar.

-

Oscar let’s go of your hand once you get outside and ran his hand over his face, his back turned to you. You cross your arms “What? Why are we here?”

Oscar spins on his heel, eyes open wide “Why? Are you serious?” You shrug “This is exactly what I meant- God why?! You can’t go around dancing with my teammate. You’re my girlfriend”

“Technically—“ “No. Not technically. Shove that somewhere else” Oscar steps incredibly close to you, his breath warm on your skin “Everyone thinks we’re dating. Act like it. I’m not having that kind of scandal on my back. I don’t want it.”

“I would’ve never done anything with him” You look at him “You say that, but It sure as hell didn’t look like that” He scoffed. You’ve never seen him this riled up before. Not over something like this.

“I’m only saying this once. No more playing around. No more ‘games’.” “I’m the asshole here? You were all over her!” Oscar blinks.

“Who?”

“Her! The girl next to you.”

Silence. You could practically hear the wheels turning in his head before realisation hits him.

“You think I would- What?” You shrug “You seemed pretty busy with her” “She used to be my classmate. Nothing special.” “Didn’t look like it”

Oscar’s eyes skim your face before his relaxed. A small smirk appeared on his lips.

“You’re jealous.”

“I’m not” You make a grimace “It looks bad for our image.”

“You danced with my teammate. In a club without cameras, no pictures allowed.” You stare at him speechless. Oh shit.

“You’re drunk, Piastri” “Then I can blame this on the alcohol no? Slap me if I’m overstepping.” Before you can ask what that even means, his lips are on yours. Your back is pressed into a street light.

Your hands find his hair, gently tugging at it. Oscar lets out a shaky breath, pulling away slightly. His eyes bore into yours “Dangerous game” “Yeah? Could not care less”

He chuckled and pressed his knee between your legs “Osc-“ Your grip on him tightens “This will be everywhere if anyone sees us” You say between him kissing your lips and neck.

He doesn’t react, so you push him away, his face in your hands “This is exactly what shouldn’t happen”

“Tell me you don’t feel it. Tell me I’m crazy and I’ll never touch you again” He whispers, eyes searching yours for anything.

“Oscar..We shouldn’t. I’m not here to ruin your reputation.” “I don’t care about my reputation”

“I am the end of you, Piastri. I’m bad at love. I don’t do love” You look at him. His face kept as neutral as possible. He pressed his lips into a thin line but doesn’t look away from you.

“What if-“ “There’s no what if. That’s how I am, That’s who i am.” You shrug “Have you ever seen me longer with a guy? No. Cause they all leave. I’m possessive, jealous and you should run as far away from me as you can”

“What if I don’t want to?” “Then I’d say you’re fucking crazy” He breathes out a laugher “So what?”

“We’re bound to break, Oscar. People are used to see me with guys like..” “Like?”

“Lando”

Oscars jaw clenched “Can we not bring him up?” “It’s the truth! I’m known for jumping from guy to guy. I don’t know how to keep one, Piastri. I never did! I know how to use my body not my fucking heart!” You push him away a step and turn away.

Before oscar can say anything, you turn around.

“We don’t even know each other for 3 months and we’re like this. I can’t- This.” You point between you two “Can’t happen. I’ve let this get too messy, too blurry. We’re business partners. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“But-“ “No. You’re gonna break your own heart.” You huff as you pull out your phone to call an uber.

“When you wake up tomorrow and are finally sober, you’ll know this was stupid.” you say before holding the phone to your ear.

Oscar crossed his arms but stays quiet. Great.

-

f1gossip

f1gossip Oscar Piastri and his girlfriend (Yn Yln) were seen arguing outside a lounge in shanghai before sharing a passionate kiss. Trouble in paradise??

user drama stirer

user I hate her

user can she just find someone else

user uhm

user now this is out of character

-

He won, I am so happy 🥹

[katanablue]

I originally had a totally different idea for this but I think I may just do a part 2 hehehe. ALSO IF ANYONE GOT ANY GOOD 07 DONNIE FICS ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Warnings: NONE JUST DONNIE BEING A CUTE GRUMPY DORK.

Another day another long boring shift full of talking to idiotic people who don’t know the difference between hardware and software and explaining to one too many elderly people that ‘No, you cannot print out the Internet.’

He’s just finished a call, rubbing the space between his eyes as he feels his daily headache come on. He’s impressed that he’s managed to nearly finish his workday without it appearing until now. He groans low in his throat, debating on getting up to grab a glass of water so he can take a pill or just sucking it up these last 30 minutes.

He gets his answer when an incoming call rings through his headset, making Donnie roll his eyes hard and into the back of his skull. He inhales deeply through his nose to prepare himself, letting it out when he clicks on a key to answer the phone.

“Thank you for calling tech support, this is Donatello speaking, how can I help you today.” He doesn’t bother putting on his customer service voice, his headache dully throbbing now as he waits for the other person on the line to start rambling about their dumb issue.

“Hi, how are you today?” You say, giving the standard pleasantries before delving into your computer issue.

Typical, of course his last call would try to make small talk.

“I’m fine ma’am, thank you. How can I help you today?” He repeats it, resisting the urge to roll his eyes again and leans back in his chair, swaying gently side to side. He thinks about what he should eat after, his eyes trailing to the clock in the Lair that signifies in big red letters that it’s nearly 2 a.m. Not the latest he’s stayed up but today’s shift was particularly exhausting. Maybe it’s the full moon or something, ‘Mercury in Gatorade’ as Mikey would sometimes call it.

“Hello?”

Shit. He totally just fucking zoned out on you.

“Apologies ma’am, I didn’t quite catch that. Would you mind repeating it?” Great, he just extended this call by about 2 minutes.

“Oh, that’s alright! I’m dealing with an issue with my laptop’s ability to open programs fast. It’s taking forever just to open something and I’m not quite sure why.” You repeat your issue, quietly sighing as you aimlessly move your mouse around your screen, hoping that the guy on the other side will be able to help with you.

Donnie immediately knows what the problem could be; slow processing speeds a fairly common issue for him but thankfully an easy fix.

So he starts by asking the standard questions: do you have any programs that take a lot of space? Any tabs open that you aren’t using? Anything running in the background?

When you tell him ‘no, no and no’, that’s when he sits up from his chair and squints his eyes. If those aren’t the cause of your laptops slow speed then what could it be?

“Well,”

Ah, there it is.

“I do play a few games but those have never caused me problems before. Could that be it?”

Normally Donatello’s irritation would increase when the customer would ‘suddenly remember’ something that could be pausing their problem. You, however? Didn’t spark that within him for some reason. In fact, besides your calm demeanor, it’s the way you spoke so kindly to him combined with the fact that you also game apparently that has Donnie not wanting to snap at you.

“Like what?” He asks, being sure to keep it professional.

And when you list his all time favorite game among some others that he’s obsessed with, he has to practically force himself to not totally geek out. Sure he’s played some of the popular games nowadays like League or Valorant, but hearing you say that you modded some old PS1 games to play on your laptop practically skyrockets his excitement.

Which in turn makes his headache pound harder.

He’s unable to keep himself from hissing when a pang shoots right through his skull, knowing you heard it when you trail off your sentence.

“Are you alright?”

Maybe it’s because he’s had a long day or maybe it’s because this seems to be shifting into a migraine, but the concern and sincerity in your voice makes an odd feeling bubble in Donnie’s chest. Surely no one would ever be genuinely worried over an I.T guy, not when you have more pressing matters on your hands.

“My apologies miss, I’m just uh, dealing with a bit of a headache right now. Although I think it’s turning into a migraine.” He grunts through his clenched jaw, swinging carefully around in his chair as he searches for his bottle of Advil only to suck his teeth when he shakes the container and hears absolutely nothing rattling around.

“Oh no, I’m sorry! Do you want to go grab some medicine? I don’t mind waiting.”

The corner of Donnie’s lip twitches upward. He brings his hands to massage at his temples, the motions doing something to relieve the tension in his head but not nearly enough.

“I unfortunately just discovered that I’m out of medicine. But that’s alright, I’ll pick some up after this call.” He doesn’t bother hiding his sigh, settling back in his seat as he prepares to ask you more questions to help you out.

“What about any oils? Got any of those? Usually lavender or peppermint do the trick.” You put him on speaker and go to your Safari on your phone to begin looking up other remedies, wanting to assist this poor I.T man.

Donnie’s not quite sure why you’re trying to be helpful but at this point he doesn’t exactly care, the throbbing getting worse by the second.

“It could also be too much pressure, literally, around your head. Do you wear headbands or anything like that? Could also be your headphones.”

“No, no headbands. And my headphones have cushioning all around so not those either.” He responds, debating on texting Mikey to bring him the peppermint oil that April bought for Splinter last Christmas.

“Ah, a man of comfort.” You laugh, fingers quickly typing in your question into the search engine.

Donnie finds himself smiling faintly at the sound, a fleeting thought of ‘Wow, I want to hear that again’ passing through his brain.

“Well, I can’t use regular headphones for gaming. I’m also a fan of those games that you play.”

You blink in surprise, your scrolling faltering for half a second before continuing on.

“No way, really?”

And so you talk for the next 20 minutes about said games; reliving memories, talking about specific moments you wish you could experience again, the soundtracks, the characters. Everything.

For the first 10 minutes, Donnie kept reminding himself that he was just prolonging his work call, that he should drive the focus back onto your issue so he can hang up and clock out. But the more he talked to you, the more he said ‘fuck it’ and allowed himself this one rare moment of normalcy.

He also nearly forgot about his raging migraine, until it pleasantly reminded him that it was still present with a sharp stabbing pain behind his eyes.

It’s what snaps him back to reality, his face grimacing from the white hot torment happening in his skull.

“I’m so sorry, we should really get back to your computers issues.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

God, why did he feel so awful saying that? And why did it make his stomach twist when hearing just how disappointed you sounded? It’s something he’ll have to dissect later, not when he’s already 30 minutes past the standard call time for support.

“Let’s see what we’re working with here.”

This is one of the rare times Donnie wishes he wasn’t so smart with technology because in less than 5 minutes he solves your problem. He wishes he could just be a little average to talk to you more even if it’s computer stuff.

“Alright, you shouldn’t have a problem anymore. Anything else I can help you with?”

Please say yes please say yes please say yes.

“No, I’m all good. Thank so much Donatello!”

“Donnie! You can call me Donnie.”

Fuck.

“Just your friendly I.T tech support here to help you 24 hours a day.”

Double fuck.

Why did he say that? It’s standard spiel protocol but still, how utterly lame…

You can’t help but giggle at him, your cheeks hurting from smiling so much from this total stranger.

“Alright then, Donnie. I’ll know who to ask for if I ever need help again.”

He smiles and asks for your name, just so he’ll know who he’s talking to if you ever do call again. He repeats it back to you once you tell him, the word rolling off his tongue in such a way that makes you feel giddy and grinning like a kid in a candy store.

“Have a good night, please don’t hesitate to call back if you’re still experiencing technical difficulties.”

And by Darwin he hopes you do.

[scary-grace]

I didn’t put this WIP on the list for the WIP game, but I’m hyped about it, so here is an excerpt from a fic inspired partially by a conversation with @sophsiaaa and written for a summer fic event hosted by @threadbaresweater! Shigaraki x reader, coffee shop au + ‘a day at the beach’:

Past noon, things slow down a bit. You decide to speed-clean the espresso machine, and you’re so focused on your work that you don’t notice the customer. It’s possibly also the customer’s fault, since he’s peering at you from over the drink pickup counter instead of standing by the cash register, and when he barks the question at you, it startles you badly. “What’s the password?”

“On the WiFi?” You tuck your burned hand behind your back. “No password. Find a place to sit down and have at it.”

The customer looks disconcerted. Or at least you think he does — the lower half of his face is covered with a surgical mask, and given that he doesn’t have eyebrows, it’s hard to read his expression. “Why?”

“Why isn’t there a password?” You haven’t gotten that question yet. “I want people to be able to use it if they need it.”

“They’re gonna watch porn.”

“Me putting a password on the WiFi wouldn’t stop that,” you say. “And I’m not the Internet police. If somebody starts acting up, I’ll deal with it. If not — just use headphones.”

The customer’s expression twists. “I didn’t mean me.”

“Sure.” You’re not a moron. “It’s not my business what you do. Unless your business starts messing with my business. Seriously. Knock yourself out.”

The customer turns away, and you spend a second being extremely grateful that you went for single-occupancy bathrooms instead of multiple-stall bathrooms before you go back to cleaning the espresso machine. Your hand hurts, but it’s nothing running it under cold water won’t fix later. When you straighten up, there’s someone at the counter.

It’s porn guy, who you really shouldn’t call porn guy. Innocent until proven guilty and all that. You dry your hands and hurry over. “What can I get for you today?”

“Black coffee.”

“Sure. Anything else?”

The customer glances at the pastry case, then shakes his head. Then his stomach growls audibly. He knows you heard it. What little of his face is visible above the mask turns red. “No.”

“Tell you what,” you say. “I’ve got these new pastries the bakery wants me to try out, but next to nobody’s tried one yet. If you agree to tell me how it was, you can have it half off.”

“I have money.” The customer shoves a credit card across the counter to you, and you see that he’s wearing fingerless gloves. Or sort of fingerless gloves. They’re missing the first three fingers and that’s it. “I don’t need help.”

“No, but you’re helping me out,” you say. You add the pastry to his order and discount it by half, then fish it out of the case with a pair of tongs. “For here or to go?”

“Here.” The customer watches as you set it on a plate. “What is that?”

“It’s babka.”

“I can read. What is it?”

“I don’t really know,” you admit. Maybe that’s why people aren’t buying them. “The filling is chocolate and cinnamon, though. It’s hard to go wrong with that. It’ll be just a second with the coffee.”

You fill a mug, then point out the cream and sugar. Then you realize you still haven’t tapped the customer’s card. You finish ringing it up and glance at the cardholder’s name. Shimura Tenko. He hasn’t been in before today. You’re not the best with faces, but you never forget a name.

[revscarecrow]

You have a wife? I’m new here, I had no idea, that’s awesome! What her name? How did you two meet? I love it when streamers have spouses cuz I think it’s super sweet to hear them talk about each other

My wife goes by Tilde on the internet. She's the best part of my world. Chat has regularly accused me of being a wife guy but honestly it's pretty easy when you have a wife as amazing as she is. All i gotta do is tell the truth. When we met we just instantly clicked. She shot her shot on the 14th of Feb and I was so incredibly dense that I didn't realize until days later that she was flirting with me (it took a year to even realise that she tried on Valentines day(she had to tell me)). Legitimately she's so far out of my league that it didn't even occur to me that she would be flirting with me. We went from not knowing each other to dating in 9 days and have been together ever sense. She's so smart talented pretty caring and amazing and I love her so much.

I told her about this ask and she suggested I link this video of us talking about our wedding over a speed paint I did for her as an anniversary gift (the painting that is).

https://youtu.be/-R9b7aREeB4

Edit: fixed link

[starmahgalaxies]

I can understand starting a fire being on his mind after their trip to the Digital World. Washing dishes in a classroom sounds more specific and random? I just imagine Jou spending the night at his cram school since he couldn't go home and a few of the kids were left cleaning some take out dishes they had.

❤️

Gross.

No! You've done nothing wrong. It's not normal for someone want to kill a little kid. You're doing great.

This could only go well.

Late 90s internet loading speeds. I do not miss them.

I love how the program makes Bakemon blind to organic beings (including clothes). But it doesn't cut out the golf club floating in the middle of the air. Ghost buddy is just like 'hm... nothing odd here' and leaves. XD

The disappointment and irritation on Koushiro's face, and the shame on Tentomon's. Not much to expand on there, picture speaks for itself. They were so close to avoiding the inventible.

Their expressions are so happy. Gomamon and Patamon especially, beaming at each other like the silly lil guys they are.

D'aww. ❤️

Beat up that ghost with your bare hands.

Yamato when presented with a little sibling that is not his own: ?!?!

Poor guy.

Creepy sea serpent: :>

I messed up with the contrast on this one but I promise MegaSeadramon is there lol

Aaiiiii. That is going to be ass to fix. Bridges can be so complicated.

I still think of reliability when I think of Jou's crest. That's been ingrained in me since childhood. All the meanings go with his character so well. Nonetheless, there is no hiding the fact that it is a literal cross. I give that the kid wants to be a doctor for a more secular reason for the design and that's it 🏥 (despite the fact the cross was chosen as medicine is a rather religious scientific field).

Forever wondering the religious and faith erasure in the dub.

Water and lightning nice combo. Happy Digimon keeps going to that well.

You have got to stop sneaking up on your kid and his friends like this lmao.

Yay! Wizarmon is alive ❤️💔

8hr 36m 6s

🌟

Child, nononono...

Hikari, ily.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Amazon Alexa is a graduate of the Darth Vader MBA

Next Tuesday (Oct 31) at 10hPT, the Internet Archive is livestreaming my presentation on my recent book, The Internet Con.

If you own an Alexa, you might enjoy its integration with IFTTT, an easy scripting environment that lets you create your own little voice-controlled apps, like "start my Roomba" or "close the garage door." If so, tough shit, Amazon just nuked IFTTT for Alexa:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/10/25/23931463/ifttt-amazon-alexa-applets-ending-support-integration-automation

Amazon can do this because the Alexa's operating system sits behind a cryptographic lock, and any tool that bypasses that lock is a felony under Section 1201 of the DMCA, punishable by a 5-year prison sentence and a $500,000 fine. That means that it's literally a crime to provide a rival OS that lets users retain functionality that Amazon no longer supports.

This is the proverbial gun on the mantelpiece, a moral hazard and invitation to mischief that tempts Amazon executives to run a bait-and-switch con where they sell you a gadget with five features and then remotely kill-switch two of them. This is prime directive of the Darth Vader MBA: "I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further."

So many companies got their business-plan at the Darth Vader MBA. The ability to revoke features after the fact means that companies can fuck around, but never find out. Apple sold millions of tracks via iTunes with the promise of letting you stream them to any other device you owned. After a couple years of this, the company caught some heat from the record labels, so they just pushed an update that killed the feature:

https://memex.craphound.com/2004/10/30/apple-to-ipod-owners-eat-shit-and-die-updated/

That gun on the mantelpiece went off all the way back in 2004 and it turns out it was a starter-pistol. Pretty soon, everyone was getting in on the act. If you find an alert on your printer screen demanding that you install a "security update" there's a damned good chance that the "update" is designed to block you from using third-party ink cartridges in a printer that you (sorta) own:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Selling your Tesla? Have fun being poor. The upgrades you spent thousands of dollars on go up in a puff of smoke the minute you trade the car into the dealer, annihilating the resale value of your car at the speed of light:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/23/how-to-fix-cars-by-breaking-felony-contempt-of-business-model/

Telsa has to detect the ownership transfer first. But once a product is sufficiently cloud-based, they can destroy your property from a distance without any warning or intervention on your part. That's what Adobe did last year, when it literally stole the colors from your Photoshop files, in history's SaaSiest heist caper:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/28/fade-to-black/#trust-the-process

And yet, when we hear about remote killswitches in the news, it's most often as part of a PR blitz for their virtues. Russia's invasion of Ukraine kicked off a new genre of these PR pieces, celebrating the fact that a John Deere dealership was able to remotely brick looted tractors that had been removed to Chechnya:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/08/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors/

Today, Deere's PR minions are pitching search-and-replace versions of this story about Israeli tractors that Hamas is said to have looted, which were also remotely bricked.

But the main use of this remote killswitch isn't confounding war-looters: it's preventing farmers from fixing their own tractors without paying rent to John Deere. An even bigger omission from this narrative is the fact that John Deere is objectively Very Bad At Security, which means that the world's fleet of critical agricultural equipment is one breach away from being rendered permanently inert:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/23/reputation-laundry/#deere-john

There are plenty of good and honorable people working at big companies, from Adobe to Apple to Deere to Tesla to Amazon. But those people have to convince their colleagues that they should do the right thing. Those debates weigh the expected gains from scammy, immoral behavior against the expected costs.

Without DMCA 1201, Amazon would have to worry that their decision to revoke IFTTT functionality would motivate customers to seek out alternative software for their Alexas. This is a big deal: once a customer learns how to de-Amazon their Alexa, Amazon might never recapture that customer. Such a switch wouldn't have to come from a scrappy startup or a hacker's DIY solution, either. Take away DMCA 1201 and Walmart could step up, offering an alternative Alexa software stack that let you switch your purchases away from Amazon.

Money talks, bullshit walks. In any boardroom argument about whether to shift value away from customers to the company, a credible argument about how the company will suffer a net loss as a result has a better chance of prevailing than an argument that's just about the ethics of such a course of action:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

Inevitably, these killswitches are pitched as a paternalistic tool for protecting customers. An HP rep once told me that they push deceptive security updates to brick third-party ink cartridges so that printer owners aren't tricked into printing out cherished family photos with ink that fades over time. Apple insists that its ability to push iOS updates that revoke functionality is about keeping mobile users safe – not monopolizing repair:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/22/vin-locking/#thought-differently

John Deere's killswitches protect you from looters. Adobe's killswitches let them add valuable functionality to their products. Tesla? Well, Tesla at least is refreshingly honest: "We have a killswitch because fuck you, that's why."

These excuses ring hollow because they conspicuously omit the possibility that you could have the benefits without the harms. Like, your tractor could come with a killswitch that you could bypass, meaning you could brick it at a distance, and still fix it yourself. Same with your phone. Software updates that take away functionality you want can be mitigated with the ability to roll back those updates – and by giving users the ability to apply part of a patch, but not the whole patch.

Cloud computing and software as a service are a choice. "Local first" computing is possible, and desirable:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/03/there-is-no-cloud/#only-other-peoples-computers

The cheapest rhetorical trick of the tech sector is the "indivisibility gambit" – the idea that these prix-fixe menus could never be served a la carte. Wanna talk to your friends online? Sorry there's just no way to help you do that without spying on you:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/08/divisibility/#technognosticism

One important argument over smart-speakers was poisoned by this false dichotomy: the debate about accessibility and IoT gadgets. Every IoT privacy or revocation scandal would provoke blanket statements from technically savvy people like, "No one should ever use one of these." The replies would then swiftly follow: "That's an ableist statement: I rely on my automation because I have a disability and I would otherwise be reliant on a caregiver or have to go without."

But the excluded middle here is: "No one should use one of these because they are killswitched. This is especially bad when a smart speaker is an assistive technology, because those applications are too important to leave up to the whims of giant companies that might brick them or revoke their features due to their own commercial imperatives, callousness, or financial straits."

Like the problem with the "bionic eyes" that Second Sight bricked wasn't that they helped visually impaired people see – it was that they couldn't be operated without the company's ongoing support and consent:

https://spectrum.ieee.org/bionic-eye-obsolete

It's perfectly possible to imagine a bionic eye whose software can be maintained by third parties, whose parts and schematics are widely available. The challenge of making this assistive technology fail gracefully isn't technical – it's commercial.

We're meant to believe that no bionic eye company could survive unless they devise their assistive technology such that it fails catastrophically if the business goes under. But it turns out that a bionic eye company can't survive even if they are allowed to do this.

Even if you believe Milton Friedman's Big Lie that a company is legally obligated to "maximize shareholder value," not even Friedman says that you are legally obligated to maximize companies' shareholder value. The fact that a company can make more money by defrauding you by revoking or bricking the things you buy from them doesn't oblige you to stand up for their right to do this.

Indeed, all of this conduct is arguably illegal, under Section 5 of the FTC Act, which prohibits "unfair and deceptive business practices":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge

"No one should ever use a smart speaker" lacks nuance. "Anyone who uses a smart speaker should be insulated from unilateral revocations by the manufacturer, both through legal restrictions that bind the manufacturer, and legal rights that empower others to modify our devices to help us," is a much better formulation.

It's only in the land of the Darth Vader MBA that the deal is "take it or leave it." In a good world, we should be able to take the parts that work, and throw away the parts that don't.

(Image: Stock Catalog/https://www.quotecatalog.com, Sam Howzit; CC BY 2.0; modified)

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/26/hit-with-a-brick/#graceful-failure

[aphantomr]

Let's Reread Commonweal, book 1, chapters 1-5

“They’re sending us a Rust, somebody who goes by Blossom, and Halt.”

When I first read the first sentence, I thought Rust was one part of a Rust hivemind. (format: (a Rust), (Halt), and (someone called Blossom)). I spent book 1 thinking Rust was made out of butterflies, not all of which were necessarily currently in the Creeks. This turns out to break the implied rules about communication speed and being in one place at one time. Is there a reason an independent can’t be in more than one material place* at one point in time? They have the processing power for it. Could be that naively implemented parallel processing is bad for your shape as a person, could be that it’s a bad idea defensively, could be I’m missing something about how the original material body is related to the metaphysical one, could be personal and/or social preference. Probably the third, now that I’m thinking about lag. *meaningfully more than one place at one time, in a way that’d be useful for being the internet passing messages

Not when Independents don’t serve with the Line — there’s five centuries of custom back of that.

Considering how the rest of the books go, this is important context for some of the social stuff and also seems kind of unwise, considering the specialist knowledge that seems likely to be helpful for defeating an invasion. Or are they sent out separately, which seems like a lack of communication for no purpose, or sent out instead of the Line, of which Rust vs. Reems is an example?

These days there’s a Westcreek (dust dry), a West Wetcreek, a Lost Creek (swamp), and Split Creek (on some fixed astrological schedule: fire, blood, venom, beer) in the province of Westcreek. I’m leaving out the rest of the Creeks, plural, the stuff further east. For a place that wasn’t anywhere back in the day, stuff happened — Split Creek’s not a little working. Despite that evidence of past activity, Westcreek Town, Westcreek the province, West Wetcreek the watershed, the whole of the Creeks, is full of people who claim nothing happens here.

Notetaking: Westcreek is a province. “nothing happens here”, coming back from book 5, seems like part dramatic irony and part lurking long-term planning.

There’s a lot of Independents these days, sorcerers good enough that the basic deal — the Line don’t extinguish them, and in return they show up for five years in fifty and do subtle clever things to make the Commonweal work better, besides staying out of trouble and politics — applies. That’s the List, the sorcerers good enough to make themselves ageless by a means the rest of us will tolerate. But the List contains the Short List, too. Parliament gives it a polite name, but what it means is, “if this one causes trouble, send a battalion”. There’s fifty-odd names on the Short List, out of the couple thousand on the List as a whole.

Notetaking: couple thousand Independents in the Commonweal. “by a means the rest of us will tolerate” seems a bit misleading this early on, implying lich-adjacent fantasy tropes instead of the actual trials involved, though “the rest of us” isn’t technically an incorrect description of the Shape of Peace.

Out of the Short List there’s the first page; no-one tries to give it a polite name or come up with some reason for it. It’s a list of twelve names, all them older than the Commonweal. Halt’s name is the first of that dozen, by any measure: knowledge, terror, or simple grim seniority. … Rust’s name is the fourth name of that dozen, and Rust and Halt do not get on.

For as loudly as the Commonweal tries to tell its all-are-equal story, it’s interesting in retrospect how much of this character introduction is a ranked list. It’s a bit of a character flavor thing and a bit of a ‘the first chapter of the first book does need some amount of exposition’ thing and a bit that the Commonweal hasn’t managed to work all of the might-makes-right flavor out of its social fabric.

If any among the Twelve causes trouble, the standing orders are to send nothing less than a full brigade in full array. That might be overkill: the Foremost, Laurel and the Foremost, back in the day, took down everybody on the first page of the Short List, and everybody else with the Power and pretensions of lordship, and the Foremost mostly weren’t what would muster as a full battalion these days.

The beginning of my first-read journey along “wait, the Foremost was who? Wait, the Foremost was what?”

Anyone who has been in The City Of Peace for any length of time would know that. Rust and Halt may stay out of politics — they’re both known for being abrupt about it — but if you tell one of the terrors of the earth to solve a problem, you’re telling them to make policy. They don’t agree about policy and they’ve been writing snarky articles at each other in the scholarly journals for so long that the earliest ones were two major vowel shifts ago.

Hmm. Holding up the teatime strategy book next to Rust vs. Reems (let some go?) in comparison. Interesting. “Two major vowel shifts ago”: do some Independents usually speak variously old-fashionedly / formally or is that not how acting socially usually shakes out? Wake’s pattern of speech sure is something.

Either someone’s decided that Split Creek desperately needed plugging about a hundred years ago, or someone else is afraid that Halt and Rust’s long feud is soon to have a failure of decorum and believes the devastated landscape ought to be far away from the City of Peace.

Notetaking: vibes about Commonweal policy-making and Commonweal attitude towards Independents. Politics! Establish a level of ruthlessness and danger for the Commonweal and Independents.

To look at, it’s eyes front. Every single trooper has enough of a grip on the standard that the company, while by no means arrayed for war, is keeping a good eye all round. Really all round, which is, by long tradition, entirely acceptable, or half of entirely respectable, anyway; the other half is not having it show in the drill when something unusual happens.

“Really all round”: phrases that don’t make sense the first time through. Eyes in the back of your head indeed.

let even the Territorial Line make a point of being polite.

Did we lose the Regular/Territorial Line distinction in the Commonweal split, or was I reading too fast?

We’ve got Rust, all right. Rust’s horse looks good and plain and honest, too, and it might have been. It might still be; Rust has been riding the ghost of that horse since there are records, and if anyone knows how that works, they’re not saying.

As they say in glowlarion, every archmage can do three impossible things. Ghosts aren’t supposed to be able to be called up after more than three days or stick around not fading indefinitely, even in the Line’s standards(?).

Handing back the warrant sticks gives me a moment to grab some focus, the personal kind that sends your sense of self high and quivering out of your body. There’s a vast gulf between “correct” and “safe”.

? Missing some context here for the second sentence. Not quite connecting focus, correct, and safe.

Halt is also apparently incapable of sitting down for any length of time without knitting.

Credit to a book 3 let's read on brokenforums: in knitting you cast on to start and cast off to finish. Puns, my beloathed.

“What has been done with Blossom and another youngster was to keep their arms from knowing, much as when you direct the standard, you direct a thing outside yourself, for all that your strength participates in the standard.”

I kept this explanation in mind throughout book 2 and came out almost as confused as I started, though in different directions.

“Your arm knows.” Spine, and there are Independents who would know that.

? Is this “your spine knows”, is spine used as a curse, secret third thing? Someone uses “Fire, where’s the brigade …?” later, for curse usage comparison. Spine isn’t used like this again in book 1.

Halt lets the needles say “Oh, that kind of catch”.

Love it when you can’t quite be sure this isn’t a literal description.

misc. notetaking: four platoons = 1 company = 80 guys; nine files per platoon? Someone’s done better math about this, I’ll settle for rounding to significant digits. Eventually I want context for the training casualties in book 5.

Eustace stops well back of the artillery line, lies down, and starts chewing away on an eel-tree. Halt’s back up in the howdah, knitting away with apparent total unconcern for either the game of catch or the shrieking as Eustace toasts the fangy parts of the tree, which are trying to eat back. Various bits of notice of this slide through the standard while the platoons switch places, and there’s a thread of general approval coming back. Eustace’s kind will be welcome in the Creeks forever if they eat eel-tree.

Things I didn’t notice the first time around: what qualifies as weeds around here. Not much context for exactly how much of a deathplanet this is in the first book.

Halt’s comprehensive definition [of innocence] — never consumed a human soul, never slaked wrath by wide killing, and, oh yes, never coerced a bound demon into a shape empty of all but pain — was not provided to the matrons. Even more fortunately, Halt’s oddly wistful expression was not observed by any townsfolk at all. The true list is longer, and gets into strange technical questions of removal of the will and self; it’s quite all right, apparently, to send someone quietly to sleep in the middle of attacking you. Overriding the will in lesser actual degree to make them more willing to obey is not.

“slaked wrath by wide killing” is a beautiful phrase. Definitions about magic! Shiny!

“At the end of the march that made the Hard Road, Sergeant-Major, there were perhaps one hundred ninety of the Foremost still active. I assure you they were effective in a way ‘one short company’ would not imply.”

Continuation of my first-read confusion on who and what the Foremost were.

Twitch looks croggled, Halt looks amused, and Chuckles like someone whose drawers contain ants undertaking renovations. The social convention that Independents are normal people with an unusual job works against your composure sometimes.

Hmm. I’ll remember this as I keep rereading, though we rarely see a ““normal”” Independent and even more rarely see them in normal social contexts.

“Put like that, sir, no, no I can’t.” Both of Twitch’s feet are trying to tap toes. Not looking forward to this. Creeks prefer magical doings to stay politely invisible. Not entirely against such doings, the Creeks as a people and an area use a lot of focus-tools, but that doesn’t count, socially. This would, will.

“the Creeks as a people and an area use a lot of focus-tools”: Creeks foreshadowing continues.

“So we’re nailed to Westcreek Town?” A bit of appalled leaks into Blossom’s tone.

The amount of {the main characters are very extremely the underdogs} emphasis I managed to miss the first time around is hilarious in hindsight. In my defense, I don’t read much military fiction.

[lunaandco]

and i will fuck you, like nothing matters; part three

pairing: gavi x ofc

summary: gavi wants coral to be his. she's scared of their fame.

taglist: @htpssgavi ; @joaosnovia

masterlist // series masterlist // I do not take requests

Gavi took a deep breath. He had faced guys twice as tall as him in World Cup matches, shot penalties and done post game interviews for the Cahmpions League, but he had never been as nervous as he was parking by Coral's apartment.

He ahd been coming so often that when he crossed paths with one of thr neighbours she just smiled and greeted him by his name, adding a small comment about how Coral had been playing guitar all day long, and how delightful her new song was.

Gavi shared that fondness, he wanted to listen to Coral's music for hours every day for the rest of his life. He took the stairs jumping two steps at a time, his usual impatience getting the best of him. By the front door of her apartment, the soft chords of a song Gavi had not heard yet could be heard.

He felt a little guilty, ringing and interrupting the music, but seeing Coral standing on the other side of hte door, an oversized Barça hoodie on, her hair mess and her lips pink from biting them, like she always did, when she was concentrating; made it all worthy.

Gavi almost fell to his knee and asked for her hand in marriage, but her suspected that such proposal would not be accepted before he fixed their current situation.

"Gavi! I'm so busy right now, I don't think it's the best time to fuck right now..."

Right, that.

Their relationship was based around sex, the friends with benefits label falling over them easily after his ugly break up with Sandra. With a shattered heart and ego, the internet creating demeaning memes at lightning speed and everything he thought to be true crumling around him, Gavi had found shelter between Coral's arms.

But that shelter was not enough, not when he needed to really be hers.

For a long time he had been the heartbroken boy fucking his anger away. Now he was a smitten man, ready to ask Coral to be his girlfriend.

"I didn't come for that," he explained. Her eyes fell to the bouquet of flowers he was holding.

"Oh."

"Yeah." he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Do you think I can come in?"

"Yeah."

Coral stepped aside so he could walk inside. The apartmwnt was a mess, the way it became when she was composing a new song.

That was what had her so busy.

"Coral..." he started, handing her the flowers. "I'm pretty sure you can already figure out where this is going..." he laughed nervously. "I like you, Coral. A lot. It think you could tell already."

"I had a small idea..." she was already smiling brightly, her cheeks pink. It gave him confidence on what he was about to ask.

"Would you be my girlfirend, please?"

Coral didn't reply. She threw her arms around Gavi's shoulders, and kissed him hard.

"I love you," she said ending the kiss, with his hands around her waist. "But I really need to finish this song before inspiration leaves."

Gavi smiled. If there was soemthing he knew, it was that big emotions triggered her creativity and she would be writing for hours.

But now he could watch her work, like the lovee sick puppy that he was.