#How to forgive and let go in relationships

[sqgeism]

Hi! I hope you're doing well!

I have a bit of a specific Anaxa request: we all know this guy is prickly like a cactus, and probably wouldnt show any kind of physical affection/be overly affectionate whatsoever. maybe the reader can be lightly airing all their frustrations to an unsuspecting dromas/chimera they stumbled upon, and anaxa happens to walk right by when they say "I don't know why he feels he needs to keep me at an arm's length, in the end, all i want is to be loved; and i wish the same for him."

I just feel like that sentence would make anaxa flabberghasted and make him rethink some things.

ty for reading!!

𐙚 𓏵𓏵𓏵 𐙚 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐬 ���𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 | anaxagoras x gender neutral reader

💌 — ; as tipsy as a boat on unforgiving seas, you rant your heartaches to a cute, clueless chimera. (that weirdly looks like your boyfriend) not knowing that the very man stands behind you, listening to you pour out every feeling he'd never want to subject you to.

love mail — say yes to me. i haven't done an event in a while, would people be interested in that (*ﾟーﾟ)? sigh finally anaxagoras solo post without the other two added LMAO this guy is so popular on my account its kind of insane. thank u anaxa... for reviving sqgeism in the big 25.. i thought this was long but it's acc kind if short forgive me anonnie LMAO

for all the good moments in your relationship with anaxagoras, there were still bad. and the bad.. could get really awful very quickly.

even if he was growing to be careful, changing, being better, he still had his 'demise'— as he called it. he was set on a mission long before you, and you've accepted that. it didn't mean that it didn't hurt when you knew he was trying to keep you away, though he says it's to keep you safe, you knew it was for another reason.

anaxagoras wasn't—for all his genius as a scholar and a teacher—very good at things that involved vulnerability. it was something he'd ripped out of his cold, dead heart, leaving it whatever remaining feelings he had left to rot. clearly not enough, he'd remark, if he could still feel it beat every time you came close. fingers brushing over his own, lips getting too close for comfort, despite being together—he was still afraid. very.. very afraid.

but you weren't angry at him for being so, how could you? for all the hurt he's faced, the terrors that follow him like his shadow, you just can't. but you feel neglected, left to freeze in an unforgiving winter. you craved warmth, but no flame could thaw your loneliness.

and so when anaxagoras, once again, locks himself in his lab for aeon's know how long.. you're off. you had the control to at least leave a note where you're going; a bar close by to let loose. but you clumsily throw it on the nearest table and walk out. the tears were becoming overwhelming, and you just needed to cry. it felt cruel to be mad, but your heart knew what it wanted. it wanted someone badly, drawn to a rose with far too sharp of thorns. but you didn't care. you knew it was a part of him, and you chose him regardless. you wonder if he knows that he's loved, and how much he truly is.

and he does. in a way that overwhelms him, that makes him be the way he is. he knows you care, and that's why when he leaves his study hours earlier, the note unseen by his sharp gaze, he panics. you're not in bed, nor the living room, you're not home. thunder claps break him out of his thoughts, and he realizes you could be out there, in the rain, for who knows how long.

he runs out without hesitation.

doesn't care if he's soaking wet, or his students that may see their half-gone professor running through amphoreus in the rain, he's afraid. for once, his cowardice it isn't of the idea of you, but losing you. he's beginning to realize that there will be something worse than his fears destroying him.

it's having you slip away from his grasp.

he's afraid of affection because he might lose you. he's afraid of everything about loving you because he might lose you. he's lost so much, it scarred him. that the closest thing to paradise surely should have been an illusion, that it was all just a ploy to put him back together and break him apart all over again. he thought it was stupid, the obvious plan set by the 'gods'.

but he was just in love, so very in love. and it could never be stupid if the center of his affection was you.

and there you are, thank goodness. you're laying against an elevated tile as you're on the floor, arms on the said tile, and underneath the bars cover as a chimera sits by your head. you're clearly drunk, cause even if his heels splashed against the puddles towards you, failing to notice. gaze fixed on the little creature as he hears you speak.

"i just don't.. understand." you slurred, your face pressed against your arms as the chimera chirps. i don't know.. why" hic "he feels he needs to keep me at an arm's length.. in the end, all i want is to be loved; and i wish the same for him."

you don't even know what those words do to him. a man of many words, brought to silence. you look like a fae in the moonlight, ethereal and breathtaking. and anaxa's sopping wet in the rain, refusing to be under the bars covers as he feels he doesn't deserve it. the harsh weather prickles his skin, but he feels nothing. nothing but the cruel twist of a dagger through his heart.

he falls to his knees, the water around him makes a large splash as you turn your head. in your dazed state, your eyes don't recognize him, but your heart does. and you move without even realizing. "anaxagoras, my love?" he feels something cover his head, and he looks up to see you fussing and using your jacket to shield him from the rain. even if you were frustrated, venting about him, you still had the heart to worry. you still tried to help him, and he's such a fool to only appreciate that now. "what did i tell you about calling me that? to you, i'm anaxa. stop.. stop forgetting."

he doesn't know what to say, and he's thankful for the conditions so you don't see the way he starts to cry. his lips are trembling as his hand slowly stops yours, guiding it to his cheek and leaning into your palm. it isn't flowery words, he's bad at anything that isn't statistical or academic, but it's a gesture of something more. "i.. i'm so sorry." he muttered sorrowfully. "i've been taking you for granted. i didn't mean to, but i did. and that's unforgiveable. you don't deserve this life, and i—"

you cut him off by pulling him in, away from the world, under the shelter and into your arms. you two probably look silly, two influential figures in your own ways in amphoreus, snuggling up outside a bar in the rain. but anaxa has long discarded the idea of caring of others opinions, all he can focus on is how your heart begins to race. like you're as startled as he is. that he isn't alone in taking this leap. and for once, he's okay with that. having someone.. to truly take care of.

you wake up in bed the next morning, your head painful and your throat dry, but you're warm. and that's when you notice anaxa behind you, arms wrapped around you securely and his head partially buried in your hair. he's.. fast asleep. which is a first, you can't remember the last time he chose the bed rather than his office chair.

but you don't complain, aeon's, how could you?

you choose to fall back into the gentle hands of slumber, looking forward to waking up next to anaxa.

[blackmoonoracle]

How to Overcome the limitations of your Mind?

pile i

This Pile could be Christian or believe in the concept of gods/god. I heard the hierophant, you need to connect with your god! Maybe some of you are depressed, suicidal, lonely, or lost- you could feel alone in a world filled with frauds. There could be cancer and Scorpio energy in this pile. People who have been hurt, stolen from, left behind because they picked themselves. Maybe some days it’s very hard to keep picking yourself. Keep going, pray together is what keeps wanting to come out. It was what I heard earlier and I was about to say to god but the autocorrect for together immediately filled in before I could even type another letter. How strange!

Maybe there’s someone you need to pray with, whether they be deceased or alive. I see here that you are going through some kind of molting or transformation or death and it’s felt very ugly and painful. Maybe some of you are further in this process than others, it feels like realization- I see lots of feathers stuck into tar and stuck into bare skin. You could feel barely human, maybe your soul isn’t human at all. Maybe you’re simply having a human incarnation & maybe it’s been hard for you. Perhaps you don’t feel suited to humanity, there is a massive wound in the heart around love, support, and community. Perhaps you always felt like the ugly duckling, a loser, unwanted, unserious, unworthy, maybe you didn’t try in life because you didn’t know you would ever learn to care. Maybe caring about yourself was never an option.

I heard “it’s not dangerous to try new things” and “don’t be alarmed when the time comes for change”

“But right now, you’re doing just fine,”

To keep fighting to survive is to overcome your mind, you are rewiring something that was broken over time. You went through a slow agonizing death, maybe something traumatic happened and from there it was a VERY slow death. Maybe too rotted, from the inside out. This is not shallow pain, this is pain that poisons like mold. That overtakes and fills your mind and your heart- you’re releasing something big this year. You’re releasing a fear, you came out on the other side of a series of deaths and rebirths and transformations. Now you are simply being asked to switch gears. It is HARD, but it is worth the fight. You overcomplicate things with extremities but it isn’t worth it.

You’re a very versatile human, with a lot to offer the world.

But until you accept that about yourself it’s going to be a bit rough, do things to prove your value to yourself in a reasonably healthy way. Show up in your life, make yourself feel accomplished- and learn more about yourself- learn about the stories of your ancestors maybe? Or the Women in your lineage, learning their stories and reflecting on them may bring you some kind of peace & solidarity.

You’re not as alone as you think, and you’re very loved. To love you is not a burden, but part of loving others is being responsible for our own well being. You will find more happiness & balance in your relationships by healing a wound of loneliness. Maybe you were exiled, isolated, etc as a punishment. It is not a punishment to stand in your own square, it is not a punishment to be sad, it is not a punishment to be unhappy.

You aren’t being punished anymore

But you’re punishing yourself

Channeled messages:

Eat better, pray together? (I heard this exactly haha)

Run through god

Ask for forgiveness

Let go of your sins

pile ii

I feel an emptiness in pile 2, as if you are unable to enjoy or partake of the pleasures in life due to fear. You could have been neglected as a child, maybe you didn’t have food, water, love, or shelter as reliably as you should have. There is a very deep childhood wound here, but you have to stop feeding it. Maybe you were literally trained not to rely on your own judgment? It seems to me that you are so reliant on others or outside sources for answers that you can’t even see clearly in front of you. You hold the power, you can make things work in your life- no matter how hard it seems. Even if it seems like escaping the pain is like climbing a treacherous mountain YOU CAN DO IT! You feel deeply,

Ngl some of u could be having relationship issues??

You actually do have the skill and ability to fix this relationship! It is 1000% salvageable!! This could also be about building a relationship with YOURSELF!!!

A lot of this feels like self motivation, taking action, and trusting yourself. You’re actually VERYYY good at rationalizing things calmly, you have a lot of stability in your life and the people around you love you a lot & want to communicate with you openly and fairly & honestly there’s a lot with a relationship popping up here. Perhaps you need to overcome these mental limitations to save it, or you need to face yourself head on to foster a better relationship with yourself.

Either way! You have all that you need to accomplish this, don’t exist in lack- have GRATITUDE- and trust in your ability to use reasoning & logic because when you openly and honestly consider things from a more detached perspective you get soooo much more done. You have to find a balance between attachment and detachment, and if you trust the people around you right now you can find that balance they can help guide you but YOU MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR URSELF BB.

This reading is a lot shorter than pile 1 so I’ll finish out with some miscellaneous messages.

Be more private!!! Stop telling people your business if it doesn’t give you a good feeling, you also have spirit guides trying to communicate this with you. Don’t tell people your plans & goals, keep EVERYTHING to yourself right now. Your plans are for you to know only, for now allow people to be confused. You don’t owe them an explanation, this will help you heal in relationships. Learn to be within yourself, learn to be comfy in your own energy and in your own state of being. Your spirits are trying to teach you about yourself and you’re so scared of everything around you that you won’t listen.

Your physical surroundings, important relationships, etc, so long as they are healthy they will be FINE- But if you don’t take this opportunity to work on yourself and exist within your own sense of safety it’s unlikely that they’ll remain salvageable.

It’s up to you to choose yourself.

Signs:

Chipmunk

Warrior ancestors

Wind catchers

Fairy lights

Tangela (the Pokémon lmao)

pile iii

Accepting change. I feel like this pile is very stubborn & tends to form opinions based on emotions and personal experience. You are highly intelligent, but you also remind me of like a dog who gets aggressive when people come near his food or his toy etc… not to liken you to a dog but like you are very defensive maybe, open your mind to new opportunities and possibilities. You can change your opinion at any time, based on multiple pieces of evidence or factors & it seems like you have a tendency to cling to familiarity. Perhaps you feel like you are at risk of losing it all in any given moment. You have limitless options and possibilities, you don’t have to settle for scraps and fight to keep them. You can have more, and maybe the scraps you currently have aren’t even for you- not because you don’t deserve things but because you deserve MORE. If you are too focused on fighting for what you perceive yourself to have then you will not be able to see what else is there for you. You have to let go of what no longer serves you, and you have to find a way to accept new things and changes.

This might be a tough pill to swallow

Please know I say this without judgment, and that I truly do understand. You can overcome your mind by being more self aware. You have a lot of triggers and I feel like you also tend to have hidden motives when you deal with others as well sometimes. There is a lot of pain and insecurity, feeling vulnerable, feeling seen- it can be so uncomfortable and it seems like you sometimes will go to great lengths to prove a point even if it means being impulsive, deceptive, and inconsistent! You’re being asked to have a deeper sense of conviction in what you do. Youre very loving and lovable underneath all of these masks and these traumas & it’s NEVER too late to change sweetie.

Sometimes you just have to accept things for what they are, sometimes we lose sight of ourselves in the hunt for something more- and we fail to realize the impact our actions have on others. It’s like you’re hurt and bleeding on everyone around you. I can tell you are scared, you may feel like you’re being backed into a corner. Truth can be bitter, but sometimes you just have to accept things for what they are. We are all capable of misconceiving, continuing to latch onto this misconception is going to hurt you not help you.

Signs:

K-pop idols ?

New grounds

Masquerade

Ace of cups

7 of swords

888, 555, 333, 222

[itoshiierae]

when you accidentally say you hate them #2 ⊹˚.

──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!

ᡣ𐭩 ft: rin itoshi, sae itoshi, oliver aiku, nagi seishiro, isagi yoichi

ᡣ𐭩 notes: here’s part one. and once again, this is not proofread HAHAHA. i probably rushed this a little bc i didn’t wanna keep y’all waiting too long, so pls forgive any errors :c but anywayy, here’s part 2. enjoy!!!! <33

ᡣ𐭩 cw: angst (at first), then fluffff <33, you & oliver’s relationship dynamic is wayyy different from the others HAHAH, not isagi being the ONLY confrontational king among the 5 😵‍💫

extras: but let’s be fr, the rest of them are NOT the ‘let’s-talk-it-out’ type unless they’re being cornered lol 💀😭

──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!

౨ৎ RIN ITOSHI ౨ৎ

the hallway feels emptier without the quiet drag of his footsteps. no soft shuffle of socks, no keys clinking lazily by the door, no sleepy voice mumbling about coffee. just a note, carefully written and left on the coffee table — too neat for how much it hurts.

[“didn’t know if you’d want me around today. left early. don’t worry about it.”]

the kind of sentence that pretends it doesn’t ache to write. you sat with it for what felt like hours— long enough for the coffee to go cold, long enough to wonder if maybe staying silent was worse than saying the wrong thing. the note didn’t move, but your thoughts circled it like grief.

you just sat at the table, phone in hand, trying to type the right words.

sent 09:42am: [ i didn’t mean it. ]

sent 09:42am: [ please talk to me. ]

sent 09:43am: [ come home rin. ]

none of them delivered. or maybe they did — and he just didn’t want to answer.

──★

the lock clicks just past midnight — long after you gave up checking your phone. like he came back only when he was genuinely sure you’d stopped waiting for him.

your body jerks awake where you’d accidentally dozed off on the couch — curled up, blanket barely pulled over your legs.

he stops mid-step when he sees you.

he doesn’t say anything at first. just stands there in the doorway, keys still dangling from his hand, his silhouette washed in dim light.

and then —

“why are you—” he stops. voice flat.

“...you shouldn’t sleep out here.”

you blinked hard, still groggy, heart pounding too loud to answer right away.

“i was waiting for you.. rin,” the words slipping out like a confession you’d rehearsed too many times to forget.

his eyes flicker — sharp for a second like instinct, then soften, like he almost let something show.

but just as quickly, it’s gone again.

blank. unreadable.

like as if he’s rebuilding the walls even as he looks at you.

“you said you hated me,” he says, quietly— not like an accusation, but like a memory he hasn’t been able to stop replaying.

“i didn’t mean it,” your voice breaks.

“i was tired. upset. i just… i mean i say things when i’m scared.”

he exhales, low and steady, like he’s trying not to feel too much at once. like he’s caught between staying mad and missing you.

“you were scared,” he repeats, eyes narrowing just slightly.

“and i was what? something safe to push?”

after he said that, the silence between the both of you is thick again. but this time, it feels more like a storm circling — not a goodbye. your head dips, slow, as if the guilt weighs heavier than the words did as you gave him a silent nod, but not a proud one, more like regret dressed in silence.

“i was scared of losing you. and i still am. i missed you so much rin..”

his shoulders ease, just barely — like he’s still holding onto the edge, but some part of him is tired of fighting.

“don’t say things you don’t mean,” he mutters.

“not to me.”

and then, so soft you almost miss it:

“i missed you too… come here now.”

౨ৎ SAE ITOSHI ౨ৎ

you still haven’t fully processed what just happened.

he didn’t yell. he didn’t slam the door, but it still stings — the way that you never truly got to talk it out with him before he went off.

you stood in the middle of the apartment like the argument was still ringing off the walls.

“i hate when you act like this — no… i hate you sometimes.”

and the worst part?

you’re not even sure if you meant it. or if you just needed to say something loud enough, cruel enough, real enough… to make him feel something back.

but now the apartment felt empty. almost as if, he took the noise with him when he left.

and you couldn’t stop staring at the door. like if you watched long enough, maybe he’d walk back through it — maybe he’d say something to make it okay.

but he didn’t.

──★

you sent two texts. one asking if he was okay. one trying to undo what you said.

he never replied.

but you stayed near the door anyway, just in case the silence meant something other than goodbye.

──★

he came back at midnight, hours after you’d given up sitting by the door, hours after you’d replayed the fight for at least a hundred times in your head.

you were curled up on the couch, half-asleep under a throw blanket, when you heard the key in the lock.

you didn’t move at first. you weren’t sure if you were supposed to. the door opened with a quiet click — then shut just as softly.

you sat up slowly, “sae…”

he paused, still facing the door as he took a breath.

“i’m tired,” he said, flatly.“can we not fight again tonight?” the words hit like a plea dressed as indifference.

you rose slowly, like the moment might break if you moved too fast.

“we’re not fighting,” you said softly.

“not anymore”.

after a pause that felt heavier than silence, you continued, “you know… i didn’t mean what i said.” you whispered.

silence.

and then without turning he said — “then why’d you say it?” his voice so quiet it almost felt like a thought, not a question.

your throat tightened, like the words were scraping on the way out.

“… because i was scared. and hurt. i thought maybe saying something ugly would make you.. i don’t know?? …look at me again??”

he finally turned around to face you, but not fully.

“wait… you think i don’t look at you?” his voice didn’t rise, but it cracked around the edges — like that was the one thing he never thought you’d doubt.

“not when it matters,” you said.“not when i’m falling apart in front of you.”

for a long moment, he said nothing then —

“i wasn’t ignoring you... i just didn’t know what to say without making it worse.”

your voice snagged on the ache in your chest. you tried to say something, but nothing came out. and then finally— finally he stepped closer towards you. no apology in his expression. no grand gesture, just a tired man standing in a dim-lit living room, looking at someone he wasn’t ready to lose.

“i’m still here,” he said quietly, staring straight into your eyes.

“even if i don’t always know how to show it.”

and the second those words left his mouth, you threw your arms around him — like letting go wasn’t an option anymore.

he stayed still, the weight of you in his arms settling over him — something he hadn’t realized he’d been missing. and then his hands found your back, unsteady, fingers trembling, almost as if he wasn’t sure he deserved this.

“i hate you,” you whispered, half-laughing, half-crying.

“not really. but kind of. but not really.”

you felt his chest rise with the smallest exhale.

“whatever,” he muttered.

“you’re annoying.”

but he didn’t let you go.

౨ৎ OLIVER AIKU ౨ৎ

he didn’t come back for three days.

no calls. no texts. not even a missed story view. he was gone — just like that. for a moment, it almost felt like the two of you had never been in a relationship at all. you almost wanted to call him, but you stopped yourself.

and then on day 4, he walked in like nothing happened.

like you hadn’t screamed that you hated him infront of everyone, like he hadn’t just straight up ignored you & then laughed too loud at another girl’s joke right after you said it. like his silence hadn’t stretched for days and made you question everything.

“yo,” he said casually, tossing his keys onto the dining table.

you stared at him. and he stared right back at you — like it really was just another random tuesday morning.

“so… did you make breakfast?” he asked casually.

“yeah… you want some?”

“nah,” he shrugged. “just checking if you still love me.”

you almost felt a laugh rise, but it got lost somewhere between your chest and your pride.

──★

the rest of the day passed like nothing happened. the two of you talked and joked like always. he picked an episode of something he knew would annoy you — and you watched it anyway.

halfway through, he even made popcorn, stole your favorite blanket, acted like everything was okay.

and maybe for a while, you let yourself believe it was.

but underneath it all, it felt too easy. like walking across a floor made of glass while pretending you didn’t hear it crack. and neither of you mentioned about what happened that day. until it happened.

your fingers grazed his when you handed him the remote — and you recoiled before he could react. but he didn’t move at all, almost as if your touch didn’t scare him the way his did to you.

neither of you spoke for a while. not out of peace, but tension. until you finally broke it with:

“sooo like… are we really not gonna talk about what happened that day?” your voice tried to stay light, but the tension bled through anyway.

he leaned back — tone sharp, eyes unreadable.

“talk about what, exactly? the part where you screamed that you hated me in front of like… twenty people?”

the air between you thickened — dense with everything unsaid.

“i was just… jealous,” you admitted.

“i felt invisible. and i wanted to make you look at me.”

he shifted then — eyes finally meeting yours.

“but i always look at you,” he said quietly.

“you just don’t always notice it when your head is full of every reason you think i shouldn’t.”

you couldn’t even meet his eyes after he said that.

“so… do you hate me now?”

you swallowed against the tightness in your throat, your voice trembling with something between fear and relief. like you’d waited too long to have this conversation with him — and now that it was here, it barely felt real.

“of course not,” he said without hesitation — but his voice carried something heavier underneath.

“but hearing you say that shit… yeah, it did hurt.”

his voice dropped, like he couldn’t believe you’d even ask him that question.

you leaned a little closer, gaze fixed on him like you were waiting for a sign or something to prove he still felt it too.

“and knowing you,” he said, a half-smile tugging at his mouth,

“you’ve probably been wondering where i’ve been for the past three days — but chose not to ask on purpose.”

he let out a quiet chuckle before continuing,

“… don’t worry, i was at sendou’s… infact, he saw how miserable i looked and almost called you himself — until i stopped him & begged him not to.”

you tilted your head and blinked slowly, a silent ‘really?’ stitched into your stare. like you genuinely couldn’t believe that he disappeared for three days, and that’s what he was doing? sulking in someone else’s living room while missing you in silence?

“you’re literally so annoying, you know that?”

and just like that, everything finally felt at ease again.

your relationship with oliver had never been conventional. it’s always been messy, loud, sometimes a little too raw — but you’d always known how to live in it, how to love in it. and you embraced it anyway.

“yeah… i know,” he said, leaning his forehead gently against yours.

“…but please don’t ever say that you hate me again,” he whispered. “even if you’re mad… especially not in front of twenty people.”

you nodded, then let out a quiet laugh — soft, shaky, but real.

“then maybe don’t make me feel like i have to scream just to be seen… idiot.”

౨ৎ NAGI SEISHIRO ౨ৎ

the thing about hurting someone like nagi was that he never told you where it hurt, he just stopped reaching for you.

same as before, during all your previous outbursts — he’d go silent, then walked off without reacting. no raised voice. no screaming. just quiet acceptance that stung more than yelling ever could.

after an argument, he’d head straight to the bedroom and collapse into his blanket — like always.

but that night, he didn’t scroll on his phone. didn’t ask if you wanted to order food. and didn’t say anything when you got into bed beside him either.

he just laid there, back turned to you, face buried in his pillow.

and maybe that would’ve been fine… if it weren’t for the way he kept his hands to himself. didn’t reach for you like he always did. no sleepy mumbling. no quiet complaints. and not even a half-whispered “come here.”

just silence.

you didn’t realize how loud the silence could be — the absence of him & the way it echoed in everything he didn’t do.

now you’ve finally had enough of his silent treatment, so you broke first.

“sei…”

but he didn’t answer.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered. “i didn’t mean it earlier.”

the silence lingered — long enough to make your chest ache, long enough to wonder if he’d even heard whatever you just said.

and then finally… he sighed. rolled over slowly. eyes tired, but open now to look at you.

“then don’t say things like that,” he murmured, voice low. “hurts too much.”

you almost cried then.

but he reached out first — pulled you into his chest, lazy in the way he moved, but tight in the way he held your body. and his head rested on top of yours, like that’s where it belonged all along.

“’s okay now… just please don’t hate me.”

and you didn’t know if it was the way he said it, or the way he held you — but suddenly, the silence didn’t feel so loud anymore. it just felt like home.

౨ৎ ISAGI YOICHI ౨ৎ

you didn’t know how long you stood there after he left — the door closing softly behind him, like even it didn’t want to make a sound.

your eyes drifted around the room, tracing the path he took when he left — almost like if you followed it closely enough, you could walk it backwards. back to the moment before it all went wrong between the both of you.

──★

three hours passed.

then six.

and before you know it, it was already midnight.

you could’ve texted him, but you didn’t. infact, you didn’t know what you would have said.

“i didn’t mean it.”?

“come home.”?

“i’m sorry.”?

as much as you didn’t mean it when you said that you hated him, a small part of you still held onto the anger — because deep down, all you really wanted was to feel loved by him again. you missed the way he used to show up, without needing to be asked.

so you kept your hands busy — cleaned the dishes. folded the laundry. sat on the couch just hoping that the silence would quiet down before your thoughts got too loud.

and then, around 2AM, you heard the lock click.

you turned your head so fast your neck cracked, and there he was, hoodie pulled over his head, eyes tired, but still the boy you’d never quite stopped looking for.

“… yoichi—” your voice barely made it out before he raised a hand — quiet, but firm.

he didn’t speak, just went straight to the bedroom, dropped his bag, then came back to the living room where you were still frozen on the couch.

and that’s when he finally said it, voice quieter than you’ve ever heard it:

“so… you really meant it? that you hate me?”

you shook your head immediately. “no. no, i was frustrated— i was tired and— it wasn’t fair. i didn’t mean any of it.”

his gaze dropped.

“then why did it sound like you did?”

you got up without a word, walked towards him, and gently reached for his hand.

“… because i was hurting, not because i stopped loving you. and maybe i was selfish… but i just wanted your attention.”

“just wanted to feel like i still mattered to you.”

the silence stretched between the both of you. and just when you thought he might let go, he squeezed your hand back and said, “… okay.”

“… and i’m also sorry, for ever making you feel like you came second to practice or winning. you didn’t & you never did...”

afterwards, he leaned forward, slow and steady — until your forehead met his chest, like the rhythm of his breath was the only thing keeping you calm.

“just— remember this okay?? you’ll always matter to me… you always have. so let me make it up to you… wanna go on a date tomorrow?”

you almost cried right then — barely managing a soft,

“yes… i’d love to.”

© itoshiierae 2025 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ please do not modify or repost my content onto any other platforms.

[thirteenheavens]

Seungcheol when read gives him silent treatment after a heated argument?

Broken Kisses|| Choi Seungcheol ♢

Notes: started to use my symbols now might be the last fic tonight :)

Seungcheol sighs as he enters the living room, finding you sitting on the couch with your arms crossed and a stubborn expression on your face. He knows this isn't going to be easy - you've been giving him the silent treatment since yesterday.

"Babe, can we talk?" he asks, sitting down next to you at a respectful distance. "I know you're upset, but we need to sort this out." You remain silent, your eyes fixed straight ahead. Seungcheol tries again, his voice gentle but firm. "Look, I know I messed up. I shouldn't have said those things during our argument. But you can't just ignore me forever."

The tension in the room is palpable as Seungcheol waits for any sign of acknowledgment from you. He runs a hand through his hair in frustration, unsure of how to break through your wall of silence. Seungcheol's patience starts to wear thin, but he knows he can't give up just yet. He scoots a little closer to you on the couch, careful not to invade your personal space too much.

"Y-N, please," he pleads, his voice softer now. "I hate seeing you like this. I miss talking to you, I miss hearing your voice." He tries to catch your gaze, but you remain stubbornly looking away. The silence stretches on, and Seungcheol can feel his heart aching with each passing moment.

"I'll do anything," he says finally, desperation creeping into his tone. "Just say something. Yell at me, scream at me, I don't care. Just don't shut me out like this."

"Why should I say anything?" you snap, finally turning to face Seungcheol with tears in your eyes. "You've made it clear that my feelings don't matter to you." Seungcheol's expression falls at your words, guilt and regret washing over his features. He reaches out to touch your arm but stops himself mid-way, remembering your anger.

"That's not true," he says firmly, his voice cracking slightly. "I care about your feelings more than anything. I was just... stupid. I didn't think before I spoke." He scoots closer again, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. "I'm so sorry, Y-N. I should have listened to you instead of being so stubborn. Please, let me make it up to you." Seungcheol gently takes your hand in his, holding it tightly as if afraid you'll pull away. He intertwines your fingers together, his thumb stroking your skin softly.

"I know I messed up big time," he continues, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I promise I'll do better. I'll be more considerate of your feelings, I'll listen to you more, I'll...". He trails off as he realizes you're still not looking at him. The pain in his chest grows stronger, but he doesn't let go of your hand.

"Please," he whispers again, desperation evident in his tone. "I can't stand being apart like this. Just give me a chance to prove myself." Your tear-filled eyes meet Seungcheol's, and his heart shatters at the sight of your hurt expression. He cups your face in his hands, his own eyes welling up with emotion.

"I hate seeing you cry," he chokes out, his thumbs wiping away your tears gently. "Especially when I'm the one who caused it." He pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest as he fights back his own tears. "I'm so sorry," he whispers into your hair, his voice thick with emotion. "I'll do whatever it takes to make this right." He holds you for what feels like an eternity, silently promising himself that he'll never let anything come between you again. The weight of your silence and hurt hangs heavy in the air, but he's determined to mend the broken pieces of your relationship.

As you sit in Seungcheol's embrace, his arms a comforting presence around you, the silence between you becomes less suffocating. The tension in your body gradually eases, and you lean into his warmth. Seungcheol's heart races as he feels you relax against him, taking it as a sign that you might be willing to forgive him. He holds you even tighter, burying his face in your hair.

"I love you," he whispers, his voice breaking with emotion. "I love you so much, Y-N. I was an idiot for saying those things and hurting you like this." He pulls back slightly to look at you, his eyes filled with sincerity and regret. "Please tell me what I can do to fix this," he begs softly. "Anything. I'll do anything to make you happy again." You finally speak, your voice still shaky but softer than before. "I just need you to listen to me more," you say, looking into Seungcheol's eyes. "And trust me. I know we have different opinions sometimes, but that doesn't mean we have to fight."

Before he can respond, you lean in and kiss him gently on the lips. It's a simple kiss, but it carries all the emotions you've been holding back. Seungcheol melts into the kiss, his arms wrapping around you as if you're his lifeline. When you pull away, he touches his forehead to yours, his eyes closed in relief.

"I promise," he whispers, his breath mingling with yours. "No more fighting. I'll always listen to you, and I'll never let my stubbornness come between us again." Seungcheol's lips meet yours again, this time with more passion and urgency. He kisses you deeply, pouring all his love and regret into the connection. His hands slide up to cradle your face as he deepens the kiss, his tongue gently exploring your mouth. The tension from earlier has transformed into a different kind of tension - one that's filled with desire and longing.

"I missed you," he breathes against your lips, pulling you onto his lap. "Missed being this close to you." His hands roam over your body, rediscovering every curve and contour as if he's relearning you all over again. The kiss grows more heated, both of you desperate to reconnect on every level.

"I love you so much," Seungcheol pants, his chest heaving against yours. "I don't know what I'd do without you." He rests his forehead against yours, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on your skin. "I was such an idiot," he admits, his voice thick with emotion. "I promise to cherish you every day from now on."

He peppers your face with soft kisses - your forehead, your nose, your cheeks - as if trying to memorize every detail. Even though you may argue time to time, you still want to marry this man.Even if it’s the last thing you do.

[jnhuius]

NIGHT OF SECRECY

pairing. joshua hong x afab!14th member!reader

genre. nsfw / smut

wc. 1,926

content warnings / tags. one scene is inspired by this joshua drabble !! (original author is wonwootattoo), porn with a little bit of plot, let's pretend all of the members still share one dorm, secret relationship, kissing (a lot of it), nicknames (my love, baby, good girl), passing mention of marking/hickeys, fingering, nipple play, unprotected sex (pls wrap it b4 u tap it!), rough sex, p in v, he comes inside, i hate the ending :(

author's note. ❗please reblog ❗ what do i do instead of sleeping? write a smut fic for mr. hong... i fear i've been obsessed with 14th member fics so forgive me for this self indulgent fic... i love joshua and i needed to write him in one way or another 🙏🏻 ALSO THE LACK OF NEW JOSHUA FICS IS INSANE 💔 anyway hope y'all enjoy this

“Hey, Y/N, want to join us? We're going out,” Jeonghan asked.

You shook your head, lounging on the couch as you scrolled through your phone.

“I'm not in the mood to go out today, but have fun and stay safe. Just bring me home some food.”

The members all called out a collective “yes” as they left one by one.

You glanced out the window. The sun was setting, and it was obvious they were heading somewhere to drink until late. You didn’t want to be the one puking her guts out until tomorrow.

You sighed just as Joshua stepped out of his room. You perked up, sitting up with a smile. He approached slowly and placed a gentle hand on your cheek. You leaned into his touch.

“Are you going with them?” you asked.

He nodded. “Mhm. I promise I won’t drink too much. Hopefully, they don’t force me to go all out,” he chuckled.

You smiled, nodding in agreement. He leaned down, kissing you softly, the gesture sweet and familiar.

“Stay safe. I love you,” you whispered against his lips.

He hummed, deepening the kiss just a little.

“I love you. I’ll be back soon,” he said, pulling away to press a kiss to your forehead before straightening up.

You waved goodbye as he headed to the door, pretending to walk slowly and sadly. You giggled, playing along with the act until he stepped out and shut the door behind him.

You smiled as you laid back on the couch. Your relationship with him was a big gamble—being the youngest and the only woman in the group, and dating the third eldest member.

You’d been together for five months now. You both agreed to keep it a secret at first—to see how things would go. You didn’t want your relationship to affect the group dynamics in case it didn’t work out. Eventually, you planned to tell the others… just not yet.

After a few hours of doom scrolling on your phone, you saw it was already 8 p.m. With nothing else to do and feeling tired, you decided to just sleep.

You went into Joshua’s room and stole one of his hoodies before returning to yours. After washing up, you slipped it on—wearing only your underwear underneath—and crawled into bed.

Living with thirteen men usually meant wearing pajamas or shorts just in case, but tonight they were likely too drunk to remember you existed, let alone stumble into your room.

You yawned, enjoying the softness of the comforter against your skin. Wonwoo was probably jealous—you were always the one left alone while they dragged him out.

Smiling to yourself, you closed your eyes and slowly drifted off.

—

Joshua groaned, rubbing his forehead as he entered the dorm. He had barely managed to escape the clutches of the drunk members who wouldn’t let him leave.

Before, he used to stay out with them until they all decided to head home together. But now, with you in his life, he always wanted to return earlier—to spend those quiet, precious moments with you without having to pretend you were just another bandmate.

He sighed, walking toward your room first. He peeked inside, the space dim aside from the soft glow of your Kuromi nightlight—the one he’d given you for your birthday.

You were fast asleep. Of course you were—it was already past 11 p.m.

He tiptoed in, gently pulling the blanket down from your face just enough to place a kiss on your forehead. Then he stood back up and quietly left to shower. You’d always told him not to lie on your bed with “outside clothes,” and he respected that.

After showering, he put on a white tank top and a pair of black shorts. He towel-dried his hair quickly, unable to keep himself from going right back to your room. He stepped in and locked the door behind him.

Joshua padded over to the bed and sat down on the edge. Carefully pulling the blanket down again, he found you curled around Shuasumi—his miniteen plushie.

He almost laughed, biting back the urge to pinch your cheeks from how cute you looked. Slowly, he pried the deer plushie from your arms and tossed it to the corner of the room.

You stirred, groaning as you slowly woke to the feeling of familiar hands gently guiding your body onto your back.

“Joshi?” you murmured, voice thick with sleep as you rubbed your eyes and stretched your legs beneath the blanket.

“Hi, my love,” your boyfriend answered, a dazzling smile lighting up his face.

With one knee on the mattress, Joshua leaned down and captured your lips in a kiss, his hand gently gripping your chin as he tried to deepen it without hesitation.

You whined, pushing at his chest.

“Where’s my Shuasumi plush?”

Joshua blinked, taken aback for a second before resting his forehead against yours, a breathy laugh escaping him.

“I’m trying to kiss my girlfriend, and you're thinking about a miniteen plushie?”

“Where’d you throw him?” you pouted, sitting up with sleepy annoyance.

“You don’t need him. You have me. I’m home now,” he chuckled, gently guiding you back down onto the bed as he hovered over you.

His hand tangled in your hair, pulling it a bit harshly to angle your face so he could kiss you properly—but not with innocent intentions anymore.

You moaned as you felt his hips move against yours, causing him to push his tongue inside your mouth. Your tongues moved against each other as he gripped your waist, grinding his bulge against your core.

He pulled away, a string of saliva connecting both of your lips as he kissed down your jaw.

“Where’s the other members?” You whimpered, feeling him suck behind your ear, a sensitive zone that he discovered a few months ago.

“Still out. Don't worry, we'll be done by the time they get back,” he now fully pulled off the covers, spreading your legs even further. You felt his hand slide down in between your thighs, a gasp leaving your lips as his thumb came into contact with your covered clit.

“Ah—Shua,” you whimpered, feeling him put pressure as he rubbed circles on the sensitive bundle of nerves. You bit your bottom lip as you felt one hand pull the fabric of your panties to the side while the other was in his mouth to lubricate it using his saliva before rubbing it on your slit.

Your clit was in between his index and middle finger as he rubbed your slit, making you even more wet and arch your back. You felt a finger teasing your entrance before gently pushing in, eliciting a gasp from you. He was being gentle, knowing how big his hands are.

“Joshua, fuck—” you dug your fingernails on his arm as you felt him insert another finger inside, slowly starting to thrust it in and out.

“I can feel you tightening around me. Are you this turned on just by fingers already?” He breathlessly chuckled. He continued to move his fingers before circling your clit using his thumb.

“Come on, I need you to cum before I enter you,” he moved his fingers a bit faster and you swore you saw stars as you came undone around him. Your thighs shook, his name being the only thing you were saying as he let you ride out your climax. He continued to thrust his fingers inside you, before pulling out and licking it clean.

“You're a pervert, you know that?” You said, laying on the bed limply.

He chuckled. “Woozi isn't against my gentleman agenda for no reason, sweetheart.”

He leaned down, kissing you deeply while his hands slid down to the hem of your hoodie to pull it off of your body. He kissed your shoulder, before sliding down to your chest. He kissed the valley of your breasts before his hands grabbed one of your boobs, fondling it gently as you moaned.

His thumb then finds your hardened nipple, instinctively rolling over them immediately. You bit your lip as he pulled away, leaning down to capture your nipple in his mouth. You whimpered, feeling his tongue tease your nipple, licking circles before sucking on it.

He did the same to the other one, not stopping for a few minutes before pulling away. He took off his tank top, pulling down his shorts to free his erection while his hand also pulled down your panties. His cock stood proudly against your stomach. It's been inside of you a few times now, but it was still scary.

He rubbed the tip against your clit, letting it get wet from your release. He lined it up with your entrance before slowly and gently pushing inside of you. He moaned as he was sheathed inside of you.

“Oh… good girl, you're taking me in so well,” he gasped, pulling out and gently thrusting back in. You could feel every vein on his length, and it wasn't helping your sensitivity.

“Joshua, holy fuck—” He covered your mouth, leaning down to line up his mouth to your ear.

“Shhh, the members might come home at any second. Keep quiet for me, alright?” He began to thrust a lot more harsher, the bed slightly creaking from the movement. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his tip hit the sensitive spot inside of you. You moaned loudly against Joshua's palm.

“I found it already?” He chuckled before thrusting to hit the same spot over and over again. Your toes curled as one of his hands raised your leg on his shoulders, letting him angle his hips to reach much deeper inside you.

Slowly, his pace was slowly starting to get more fast, rough and erratic. After a few seconds, he was basically fucking you like an animal in heat with how fast he was pounding inside of you.

“Shua—I’m close,” you whimpered.

He nodded, kissing your jaw, “Me too, baby, me too.”

He pulled his hand away from your mouth, his hands spreading your legs even further as he thrusted hard and rough inside of you. You used your hand to muffle your moans, tears pricking your eyes at how good it felt.

“Please, don't stop, only a bit more—” You cried out before coming undone around him for the second time, crying out his name like it was a prayer.

Joshua followed, moaning against your ear as he emptied himself inside you. He rode out his orgasm, thrusting it and out for a bit before pulling out. His release dripped out of your entrance as you laid limp on your bed.

“I'll clean us up, hold on,” Joshua said, out of breath as he stood up to go to your bathroom. He returned clothed, with a towel in his hand. He sat down on the edge of the bed, cleaning you up as he helped you put your clothes back on.

“I have to leave now. The other members might see us,” he said gently, contrasting how he was acting a few minutes ago.

“...Alright,” you nodded. He leaned down, kissing your face. You sighed, relishing his affection before he pulled away.

“I love you, good night,” he returned Shuasumi to you suddenly, you didn't even notice where he pulled him from.

You giggled, “I love you, good night as well,” he kissed you one last time before leaving you alone in your room to actually sleep.

You were excited to tell the members about the two of you soon.

[huntingcupid]

JUDAS — L.R.

I'm just a holy fool, oh, baby, it's so cruel but I'm still in love with judas, baby I'm just a holy fool, oh, baby, it's so cruel but I'm still in love with judas, baby

⌗ LARA — fem!reader, violence, fluff, blackwidow!lara, shehulk!reader, swearing, established relationship, argument, they forgive eachother dw, sorta secret relationship, etc...

⌗ SYPNOSIS — when you're in the brink of madness only black widow can calm you down — only lara can, what happens when your mad because of an argument you two have? — will she still calm you?

⌗ CUPID — black widow is coming back to mcu!!! (i say as the nurses drag me to the padded room)

after the regular mission the avengers had you finally had time to rest — you got quite beaten up, I mean your she hulk you'd get if not all the damage due to your aggressive nature — yet something hurt you more

after the mission you noticed how close megan and lara got — i mean they were close before but now they are awfully close, you clenched your jaw as you stare at the two who were joking around, usually after a mission lara would help clean up your bruises, scolding you yet this time she barely even acknowledged you

“shit” you hiss to yourself as you clean up over the bruises — it fucking pissed you off how they practically teased eachother, it doesn't help that you and the black widow weren't public with your relationship yet, “y/n, you okay there?” manon asks — the hawkeye, you just shake your head and smiled a little, “sure?” the older girl asks again, “yeah, I'm good, i enjoy my company” the others took it as a joke but lara immediately got what you meant, just by your tone

“oh my god lara shut up!” megan says in that sickeningly sweet tone as she progressively got closer to the older girl, that was your final straw — you storm off to your room, slowly turning green with rage, the rest looked concerned and confused while lara sighs to herself already following you, “y/n slow down” she calls out to you as you walk around the stark building — “get away” you mutter, the woman doesn't back down and still follows you till you two end up in the training room

“lara i don't want to hurt you get out” you say to the girl as you felt rage takeover you, you start breaking everything in sight, walls floors even weapons, screaming in pent up emotions — “you know if you hide everything from me we can't have a proper relationship right?!” lara screams over the noise, “oh were in a relationship?, sorry i forgot raj!” you scream slamming down a table breaking its legs, “don't fucking start with that shit y/n” lara replies obviously furious as well — “oh I'm sorry!, how about go to megan and find how many fucks i give” you replied sarcastically punching the walls, and it clicked in lara's mind, you were jealous of her and the ginger

the rest of the avengers go to the training room hearing the commotion from rooms away, “Is everything okay here?” sophia asks, while she got her weapon ready, ironwoman — cause of her natural leading capabilities, “yeah i got this” lara replies approaching you with caution as you kneel out of exhaustion,

“y/n..?” lara asks her voice soft – you look at her defeatedly, “what” you grumble back, “let's calm down okay?” lara softly mutters taking in your hands into hers as she draws circle on it soothing you, “deep breaths baby” she coaches and you do, slowly turning back to your normal form, your fists bled from how rough you had been and you immediately felt bad

you look at the woman, your eyes already showing how sorry you were, lara only hugs you kissing the top of your head, “I'm sorry my любов (love)” she whispers to you, you melt into her touch already muttering an apology too, you look around seeing the destruction you've yet again caused due to how you handled your emotions, “what the fuck?” daniela mouths confused between you and lara's relationship as the rest are too

manon helps and carries you to the clinic getting you bandaged up and rested — while sophia calculates how much she has to spend on renovations again — you hiss as the nurse cleans up the wounds with alcohol, “It's alright love” lara coos's at you her hands drawing circles into your arms, manon only looks confused, she always thought you were straight but she kept her mouth shut scared of the black widow beside her

later that night the avengers had a meeting due to the incident and obviously the next mission you all had, “so?” sophia looks at you and lara — you swallow already getting embarrassed, “yes…” you mutter slowly, “since when?!” yoonchae exclaim, “earlier this year” lara answers her hands intertwined with yours, “and you two decided to hide it?” sophia looks judging you two silently, “I'm sorry soph” you apologize to the woman and she only rolls her eyes, “yeah.. yeah, next time break a room we don't always use, please” sophia teases, “wait, if you two started earlier this day, is that why lara has scratches on her back?” megan pieces it together slowly and gags, you turn red from remembering the “encounter”, lara only chuckles nodding, “this is why you don't fuck your co-workers!” manon says earning a laugh from everyone

“does she turn green when you know?, you guys uhm?” daniela asks further only stopping when megan hit her, “ouch!, I'm just curious!”, “i don't!” you replied

“yall are dirty minded oh my gosh” lara says which they deny profusely, "right...right.." lara says as she listens to the excuses

“okay for missions, well now obviously lara and y/n are paired up, you two secure the…” sophia announces as the meeting continued

wc: a little under 1k

[forsaken-headcanons]

(TW for implied child death !! and body mutation idk. uhh basically the c00lgui did some things. yeah.)

If we're going to start blaming a survivor for being Spectre or for being the reason everyone's there, it's most likely to be 007n7.

NOW HEAR ME OUT PLEASE DON'T BLOW UP MY HOU gunfire sfx

ANYWAY AS I WAS SAYING, if one of the survivors were to be "Spectre", it would most likely be 007n7 for a small list of reasons I've gathered so far.

First off, the survivors and killers. I have a small list of the characters and why he would "forsaken" them.

Noob & Guest 666 - Noob and G666 had an extremely positive friendship back then, which made 007n7 deeply resent them because - how dare the two of them be happy, while he had to suffer in his own guilt for what he had done to Noli? He did some shit and figured out how to fuck with G666's code (I imagine Robloxians are mostly made up of code) and made him what he is in forsaken, hence why G666 mostly has a red-black color palette like his c00lgui (the color palette's definitely a stretch, but whatever </3)

Elliot - This is a really obvious pick. Part of me thinks that he would've let Elliot go if he hadn't pissed him off by banning them from Builder Brothers' Pizza and making c00lkidd extremely emotional and throw a tantrum about it, but I feel like that's just the PizzaBurger shipper in me. If I would be more realistic, he might've just forsaken him out of spite.

The Admins + 1x1x1x1 - Again, really obvious. They tried to supress him and his hacking things yada yada.... He also made Doom a killer out of spite and specifically chose him because... y'know. Doombringer. He is quite literally the bringer of doom??? And he also added 1x1x1x1 to rub more salt in Shedletsky's hypothetical wound.

Taph - Works for the Admins. Also, I feel like at some point, Taph would've demolished 007n7's house because - y'know - falsely terminated, so 007n7 just kept that hate to himself internally because he knew damn well he was gonna get his "revenge" soon.

Two Time & Azure - Similar to Noob and G666, he resents their relationship and how close they were. When he found out that a ritual had been performed and Azure had been sacrificed, he had taken that opportunity and made him into the killer he is in Forsaken, along with sending in Two Time, a way to teach them that no offense goes unpunished.

Guest 1337 - 1337 had a positive and a really happy family. 007n7 envied his joy and decided to take it away from him, just his own was taken away, too. This could explain why Guest was never favored by the "Spectre" and hadn't left him with any tools or items to fend himself with, only his fists and abilities.

Chance - They were always carefree and were surrounded by a BUNCH of people. 007n7, again, envied that. The carefree attitude they always had, their large friend groups, their fame... He had everything, and yet he still had the nerve to let himself be put into dangerous situations for the adrenaline rush. If life-threatening, adrenaline-inducing, scarring experiences was what Chance wanted, 007n7 would give it to them.

Area 51 killers - 007n7 probably had an Area 51 phase as a teen or something. Idk I can't make up anything here except for that.

John Doe & Jane Doe - Again, envy. Seeing their positive marriage had dealt some level of effect on 007n7. He felt envious of the fact the two were happily in love, happily holding a relationship he knew he would never had. The thought of that alone had driven him insane with anger and guilt, corrupting John Doe and leaving Jane Doe only as a mere spectator, never being able to see her own husband face-to-face ever again.

Noli - As a plea of forgiveness. Before he had left Noli for whatever reason, 007n7 knew about Noli's sadistic tendencies and how he used to often torment people with his programs. He had forsaken him as a way to tell him "Hey, I still remember you enjoy this. Please don't ever think I forgot about you." and "I'm sorry for what I did. Here, I'll let you have free will to do whatever you want, as long as it means you'll forgive me."

(This is where the TWs come in !!)

c00lkidd - Had a bit of difficulty figuring out this one without implementing some hcs into it. You know how there was an accident that had something happen to c00lkidd? 007n7 could never forgive himself after that. He spent all night and all day trying to search for kidd, going from town to town, asking locals if they had seen his son, to no avail.

It wasn't until the day he had finally found c00lkidd's body, deep in the woods, dripping in blood. He didn't know what had happened. He didn't know why his son was dead, heartlessly murdered, left in the woods. Driven by guilt, he had tried his best to bring him back to life, tears dripping down his face as he messily fumbled with his son's code, trying to find a way to bring him back warm and into his arms.

All he had ended up doing was disfiguring his own son's body. Arms and legs freakishly longer than a normal 10-year-olds, a wide, sunken smile on his face, and a distorted voice. But it didn't matter. He had brought his son back to life. He knew what he had done was wrong, but he couldn't bring it in himself to undo his craft. Instead, he had opted for sending his son into the crooked world he had crafted, letting him "play" with the survivors and make new friends. After all, all he wanted was the best for his beloved son.

As for 007n7 himself, well...

The one in rounds isn't actually him. It's just a more advanced clone of himself, which is why "he" almost always never smiles, always looks distant or out of it. He had used that puppet multiple times to try to have conversations with his son and former friend, trying to see if they were doing alright in the pocket dimension.

Uhh might add some more on this theory soon <3 my brain is FRIED rn and I still have some homework to do :P

-⛑️🍗 anon

007N7 AS THE SPECTRE AU/THEORY??? WAITT THIS IS LOWKEY PEAK.... we might fw the idea for this actually...

godss the concepts of how everyone got here are so so good!! but trust us when we say we are hunting you down for the potential angst ideas /silly. in tears at c00lkidd's part... 7n7.... 7n7 we don't think that's what your son would've wanted vro 💔💔

[the-faceless-bride]

Draco Headcannons

Draco Malfoy x Slytherin Reader how your relationship starts and relationship headcanons (very long)

A/N it's been a while so I'm very rusty so forgive my terrible writing.

How your relationship started:

Meeting him unofficially in the first year, you had been talking with THE Harry Potter when little Draco and his two friends came over; he'd begun breaking down and belittling everyone in a group going down the line. Starting with Ron Weasley, picking apart his clothing, hair, and his freckled face. Then Moving on to Hermione and heavily looking down on her muggle born bloodline calling her a "filthy little Mudblood" laughing at her sad expression before his gaze turned to you but then he's stumped.

He realizes that he doesn't recognize you or know anything about you or your family to scoff or laugh at. so with only a gaze he spare you, it's not like you'll be all that important in the future son there isn't any need to bother with you, if you were hanging out with the Mudblood and a Weasley you'd end up with them after the sorting ceremony "you can tell much about a person by their company." is what his father always told him.

After being rejected by Potter Draco made it his mission to pass and destroy Potter and his friends in any way he can. he had been brainstorming on just how to do that when you again fell right into his hands "SLITHERIN!" the sorting hat called out after being placed on your head, almost as quickly as it had when placed on his. Just maybe you weren't as useless and forgettable as he thought. you were 'friends' with Potter and if Draco couldn't get close to Potter to know about him, he would just get close to you. He smiled at his plan and thought about how proud his father would be of him for making it.

From that point on Draco had gone out of his way to befriend you, and while it was mostly just for show the more time he spent with you the more he started to view you as an actual friend then just a tool to get to Potter, however he did still have the issue if looking down on you sometimes. But you had learned not to take it so personally as being around him more showed you it was just a habit of his to look for the flaws in everyone else around him.

By your second year, you had officially been welcomed into Draco's small friend group and Draco had gotten to learn more about you, how you were a second-generation pureblood, what your parents did for a living, where you lived. you weren't too bad, truly the only thing he'd looked down on is how little money your family had compared to him. But then again not many families reached the same high-class status as the Malfoy family.

you and Draco had fallen into a comfortable dynamic; you didn't follow him around like his other two goons. but you did sit with them at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. and did study together and partner up in some classes you had together. it was comfortable. However, when the chamber of secrets open and more danger invades the school, you start to stick to Draco more than in the past, he does take this opportunity to poke at you for being a "scaredy cat" this is where your relationship with Draco takes a turn, and you begin to develop a big fat crush on Draco Malfoy. You would much rather die than tell him or anyone else for that matter, but you do let your crush slip to Hermione who asks you if you had hit your head recently. You had made her promise to never tell a soul about what she now knows to anybody ever or you would make her eat slugs, an empty threat but she got the message.

and by the end of the year, you and Draco had reached letter status, the both of you had started sending letters to one another. and this is when his family first noticed the relationship between you two and although his father and mother were alright with you being friends, they didn't expect it to go any farther than that. his father didn't think someone with little money and status was worth carrying the Malfoy name, his mother however was open to seeing where your friendship lead. over the summer you had also gotten closer to Potter and told Draco about Potters life and plans for the future.

Your third year back is when your little crush on Draco had changed into a blooming love, a burning fire under your skin. You wished for nothing more than to be able to love him and him love your back. You could stare into his silver blue eyes for ages and wished to run your hands across him and burry yourself sweetly in his platinumed blonde hair. you were awed and inspired by him. But you swallowed your feelings down deep inside of you, little did you know Draco had started feeling the same. However, whereas you knew very well how you felt Draco did not. it confused him, he didn't know why he's stomach felt fluttery and why his body felt so hot when he was around you. he didn't understand it, so he chose to ignore it. but he couldn't help but spend more of his time around you, walking to a few classes with you. or just making more conversation with you that wasn't just about the school, classes or potter.

and emotions ran high, and feelings were almost spilt after he was attacked by Hagrid's hippogriff Buckbeak. you'd wished he just knew when to swallow his own pride but of course when it came of Harry Potter, he just couldn't help himself. he had landed himself in the hospital wing a nasty scratch down his arm and ghostly white from loss of blood. you hadn't left his side the whole time which the both of you had secretly enjoyed.

however, all good things must come to an end and your feelings hit a conflict when Hermione, Ron, and Harry had told you Draco had gotten Buckbeak a death sentence and you were caught in the middle of your friends wanting you to cut Draco out for good and your feelings towards Draco. and your budding romance came to a screeching halt when Hermione had not only threatened but also punched Draco and not knowing what to do you didn't follow him when he ran away, you instead stayed behind and tried to save Buckbeak with your Gryffindor friends. which unsurprisingly Draco was unhappy about, so much so that he had started to give you the silent treatment as punishment for not taking his side. he was shocked at just how much it had upset him. And for the rest of the year, he had kept his interactions with you little to none. taking this punishment time to try and get his feelings straight and at least try to get an understanding of why he was feeling the way he was.

Over the summer you had written to Draco every other day. much to his surprise. Even his parent started to take note of how often he got letters from you and how his face slightly lit up when he got the letter. his mother was intrigued and one morning at breakfast after giving him his newest letter from you, which he instantly opened and began reading at the table, why he hadn't written you back, "she took Potters side, this is her lesson." he stated bluntly making his father raise a brown of suspicion.

but coming the fourth year he had decided that your silent treatment punishment was over. and things hand almost gone back to the way things were before. unfortunately, he had underestimated how his absents in your life would give Potter plenty of time to get uncomfortably close to you. much closer than you two used to be. And Draco slightly kicked himself for not seeing that coming. But he had no issue knocking Potter down a few pegs Infront of you. watching Potter sputter on his words looking from you to Draco in embarrassment, but again unfortunately for Draco you had gotten close enough to Potter to start defending hum a little or at the least trying to redirect Draco's attention to something else.

it was at this point that Pansy started to really show herself and try to get close to Draco, and Draco had an idea. He had started going out of his way to spend time with Pansy Infront of you. he still didn't fully understand his feelings for you, or maybe he was just in denial, but he wanted you to put more of your time and every into him. He could tell it got some kind of reaction, the way your jaw tensed, and your eyes slightly sharpened at him and Pansy. but you never said anything. never did anything. but Draco could tell it was getting to you. you'd crack eventually.

but that breaking point never came, because while he thought announcing that his date to the yule ball was Pansy would cause you to crack and finally tell him what has been on your mind and maybe even get a confession finally on how you feel about him. as it would do worders for his ego. (And defiantly not give him the confidence to accept his own feelings and confess.) instead you drop an atomic bomb on him. "Oh. well, that's nice. Harry is taking me as his date. so, I guess I will be seeing you there."

a bit of a lie on your end as Harry and your relationship was strictly platonic as he had grown out of his little crush on you and had already moved on to fancy someone else. but he did agree to go to the dance with you after the girl he fancied already had a date and it saved you both the embarrassment of going to the dance alone. You had worn a beautiful blue and green dress with unique ruffles and a flattering shape. you and Hermione couldn't stop complementing each other's dresses. you were so busy chatting with Hermione that you missed the way Draco was staring longingly at you from afar and that was when Draco fully understood how he felt and how he wanted to be with you. he had finally accepted he was in love. and confessed to you later that night when he caught you in the halls heading back to the dorms.

it was an unexpected confession as he had dragged you away only to stupidly blurt out "I'm in love with you." you both clearly weren't expecting that of all things to come out of Draco Malfoys mouth and he quickly started stuttering and blabbering about how he's always felt something but never fully understood and how he has made the stupid decision to try and make you jealous. and he was thankful when you had told him to stop talking and just kiss you. which he gladly did.

Relationship headcannons:

Draco is all about affection. just not in public. When in public he will stand and sit closer to you and might hold your hand or put his hand on your back to guide you when you two are walking somewhere, but when alone he can't keep his hands off you. He holds you close and refuses to let go. he kisses and smuggles you nonstop. he's very clingy and even when he isn't smothering you in affection he's following you everywhere. walks you to ever class, and somehow, he gets even more clingy when he is jealous and he gets jealous often. especially when it comes to your relationship with Harry Potter.

he loves to shower you with gifts and sweets. he's constantly getting you the newest clothes and jewelry, the prettiest dresses, and is always taking you into Hogsmeade for sweet dates. it's one of the many things you like to do together; you also like to fly brooms together. he had even taken you to get your own broom and played for whichever you liked the most no matter the cost. he's a big romantic at heart but tries to keep the mysterious and careless tuff guy act when Infront of others. but he grows more mature and grows out of it around his sixth year.

Draco is a big nickname giver. if you couldn't already tell. he often uses "Love", or "Darling" when addressing you. but will also throw in "sweetheart" or names that are descriptors (if you have blonde hair, he calls you blondie, or if you have glasses, he'll call you specks, or if you are a mischievous person he'll call you "minx")

he also tries his best to keep your relationship a secret from his parents. they have a very specific and high standard of who they would want Draco to be with, and they would rather set an arranged marriage for him. and being with you would put a pin in their plans. it isn't until your sixth year that your relationship with Draco is revealed. it's a very interesting turn of events that night his family learns of your secret relationship. it was the first time in Draco's life he had actually stood up against his father…

Draco is a good kisser. his kisses are deep and full of passion, and he likes to use his tongue. Draco is used to keeping his 'weak' emotion locked away, but it all comes pouring out when he kisses you; its desperate and needy. sometimes he whimpers if you kiss him back harder than he does you. it's a way for him to let himself go, and it leaves you breathless every time. he yearns for you and can hardly stand being away from you for long periods of time.

Some NSFW

Draco is a switch. he likes being in charge. it makes him feel good and like he's the most powerful man in the world to have you under him. and when he's taking the Dom role, he's never fair. he will tease you till you beg, and he won't give in until you've begged him properly for what you want. he uses his fingers to tease you, and he stays fully dressed until he feels like you've done enough to deserve to see him in his most vulnerable state of dress. when in control after teasing he likes to overstimulate you, telling you how much you need him and how nobody else but him can make you feel this way and makes you repeat his words over and over until you can't for a sentence anymore.

when he's taking the more sub role, he's a big baby. he whines and whimpers a lot, he's a bit of a brat and he will try and demand that you pleasure him. but it's hard to take him seriously with his lips bitten red, his cheeks flushed red, and his hair a ruffled mess. you mostly just coo at him and wipe his hair from his face before telling him "Only good boys get rewards" going back to torturing him. he loves being edged though in the moment he can't help but groan when you pull away from him again making him cry and whine about how unfair you are. he can dish the teasing, but he can't take it. but as much as he hates the teasing and edging in the moment the euphoria in the end reminds him why he loves it so much.

he's also a 11/10 munch. he loves going down on you both when he is and isn't playing the dominant role that night. however, the way he does it, does in fact change depending on his role that night. When he's the dominant that night he licks and sucks slowly. just barley letting you feel his lips on you before pulling away to watch you squirm. but when the roles are switched and he's in his sub mindset he's desperate and gets very messy with his movements. he's prepared to eat until his jaw locks or let you sit on his face until he almost suffocates. he doesn't care. just let him eat and call him a good boy.

[emeraldserenade]

Hii, i love your fics can i request a Joaquin x reader where he grovels after he did something wrong or accidentally raises his voice on yn and she gets triggered or something?? I know he would be so sweet on it.

Groveling vs Giggles ~ Joaquín Torres

synopsis: Joaquín does everything in his power to earn your forgiveness

tw: fem!reader, talk about past relationship trauma, barely edited.

fic, ficlet, drabble, request

Hi! I'm so glad you love my fics! I'm sorry that it took so long for me to fulfill this. I hope it's at least worth the wait.

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Joaquín hadn't meant to scare you, he knew about your past relationships. So when he raised his voice, it wasn't quite a yell, he knew he fucked up. He saw the way your eyes glossed over with tears and the way you hunched in on yourself.

"Angel, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry," Joaquín apologized but kept his distance. He didn't want you to have to feel caged in so he kept his distance.

"Joaquín," you wanted to tell him off, tell him he had no right to raise his voice but you didn't. You froze and tried to do anything but cry, yet you couldn't. "I'm staying in the guest room tonight," you mumbled and Joaquín automatically went to disagree.

"No, I'll stay in there. You can stay in our room," Joaquín told you and you just looked at him. "I don't want you to have to relocate, it's ok," Joaquín added and you nodded slowly. He knew you were looking for a trick, that this is the kind of thing that your ex would put you through. It's why he packed normally, like as if he were leaving for a mission. Not too fast that it would seem like he was angry but also not too slow so it wouldn't look like he was putting on a show.

You watched, your brain working faster than you wanted it to. You reasonably knew that Joaquín would never hurt you, that he was completely different, but your brain wouldn't let you do anything.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

Joaquín knew that you wouldn't just forgive him, that you would have gotten over your immediate response then be mad at him. He was ready for it, he knew that making breakfast for you wouldn't do anything. But he wouldn't let you go hungry or be upset while trying to make something to eat.

"Breakfast isn't going to make this better," you bitterly told Joaquín.

"I know," he pushed the plate on the counter towards you and you took it. You might have been mad at him, but you would never turn down anything made by Joaquín.

"I'm mad at you," you stated, you didn't want to yell. You wanted this to be an effective conversation. "You had no right to yell at me, I know I was being difficult. You had every right to be upset, but yelling at me is too much," you explained.

"You had every right to be upset," Joaquín validated your feelings, he knew that you hated the way the girls would flirt with him. The way that they would side eye you and how you couldn't do anything about it.

"Ok," you wanted to say more, to clear this up and stop being angry. But you also wanted time to cool down before you do anything else, so you sat in silence and ate breakfast.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

You knew Joaquín was sorry, he had taken the day off from work and has spent every second doing anything he can for you. You noticed it first a few hours after breakfast, you had casually mentioned you were going to the bathroom before the kitchen for tea, and offered to grab him anything he needed. You alway offered, mad or not, it's how you showed that even upset you still loved him. Joaquín had said no, that he was ok, but when you came back, you noticed he had made your tea for you and was back in his spot on the opposite side of the couch.

A few hours later, you decided enough was enough. You didn't say anything as you got up and went to the bathroom. Even when Joaquín asked where you were going. You also didn't answer from within the bathroom as you heard Joaquín ask if you were ok. You wordlessly texted Sam, giving him the briefest of explanations of the fight, how Joaquín was dealing with it, and to come and get Joaquín before you blew a fuse. You loved him, but you needed to be alone for a moment. Sam sent a text, laughing at the situation and telling you that he would be over soon.

"Angel?" Joaquín hesitantly asked when you walked back into the living room.

"Joaquín, I love you so much. I love that you want to do things for me and that you want me to no longer be mad. But you're driving me crazy, Sam will be here soon and you will go out to lunch with him. When you come back, we will talk this through. And do not fight me on this, or so help me God," you left the threat empty, knowing Joaquín wouldn't fight you.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

Lunch came and went, Sam told you that he was keeping Joaquín a little longer for a meeting that suddenly came up. You didn't mind, it gave you time to clear your head and fully calm down. You were anxiously waiting for Joaquín to come home, you wanted to apologize for what you said last night and hopefully curl into his side while watching a movie.

"Baby, I'm back," Joaquín called from the door as he walked in. You walked over to meet him and was met with him holding flowers and a bag for you.

"There wasn't a meeting, was there?" You questioned, you knew the answer already.

"No, I wanted to get you some things," Joaquín held the bag and flowers to you and you gently took both. You set them side on the counter before turning back to Joaquín.

"I'm sorry," you held up your hand as you saw him getting ready to speak. "I'm sorry for what I said, I was angry and wasn't thinking before I spoke. You're right, you have no control over what other people do and I just have to accept that there will always be people who think that I don't deserve you," you crossed your arms over your stomach, a habit you picked up for when you felt too vulnerable to leave your arms by your sides.

"You don't have to accept it because it is unacceptable. You're right, people know we are together and have been long before I was Falcon. They should know better than to try to undermine our relationship, especially since it's clear how much you," Joaquín paused for a moment. "No, wait, I," you cut him off by laughing. You knew what just happened and couldn't help but laugh at it.

"Sam helped you with that last line, didn't he?" You managed to get out through laughs.

"Yeah, I was repeating what he said to me the whole way home so I could try and use some of it," he admitted, a smile gracing his face as you laughed harder. You had to lean into him to support yourself and Joaquín gratefully wrapped his arms around you for extra support. "Are we ok?" Joaquín asked hopefully.

"Yeah," you affirmed as you calmed down, your head resting against his shoulder. "We're ok."

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Masterlist | Requests

[writergeekrhw]

Hi! Watching The Wire for like the 8th time, there is a thing I've been wondering about: when Julian offered forgiveness for whatever Garak did, is it more him being a good doctor for his patient, or more because of their Not-Friendship? Like ... how far would he go to be a good doctor, would he offer the same to, say, Dukat? (Does he trust Garak enough to not let whatever Garak did stop their Not-Friendship by then?)

(Also thx for the episode and all the DS9 and Andromeda)

I think it's a bit of both, maybe 50/50? That said, I don't think any amount of Good Doctoring would let Bashir forgive Dukat. 99% of the rest of his patients, maybe, depending on how vital he deemed it for their recovery. But I doubt he could stomach forgiving Dukat, at least not with any degree of sincerity.

I guess the real question for me is whether Bashir would've offered this forgiveness for Garak if they didn't have a relationship? And the real answer is... Maybe? But the relationship made it easier.

Your interpretation may vary.

[h-worksrambles]

HUGE endgame spoilers for Expedition 33 below. Do not read if you haven’t completed the game.

The most heart wrenching thing about Clair Obscur’s ending is that no matter what you pick, the whole scenario is set up so that someone gets screwed over. Maelle and Verso’s respective traumas have shaped them in such a way that their ideals are completely at an impasse. To side with one is to rob the other of agency, even if it may well be doing what is best for them.

If you pick Verso, he is finally freed from the shackles of his immortality. Remember not only was this entire Canvas made specifically for him, he isn’t even truly Verso. And he’s been trapped in that existential nightmare for too long. Bound to memories that he knows aren’t his. And we finally let him claim agency over his mortality and let him go out on his own terms. But at what cost?

The Dessendres, as an outlet for their grief, made an entire world of living, thinking people, and consigned them to a ticking clock apocalypse because they got caught up in their creators’ family drama. And you’ve spent dozens of hours in this world connecting with it, coming to love these characters and fighting to give them a future. And just when it seems they finally have one, Verso takes it away. To take Verso’s side is to agree with Renoir, that this painted world isn’t real and doesn’t matter.

I love that the game makes you linger on every member of your party as they Gommage. Monoco and Esquie have known Verso longest and they saw this coming. They simply hug him and fade away without complaint. Sciel, despite how hard she fought to save this world has had enough experience with death to understand why Verso did what he did, and wordlessly empathises with him. But Lune? She just sits there. Coldly. She doesn’t offer sympathy. She doesn't offer forgiveness. Because Verso lied to her. Again. Despite getting attached, he stabbed everyone he’s come to bond with in the back (and those were relationships you developed and fostered as a gameplay mechanic).

And what about Maelle? Yes, rationally, this is the correct choice. Leaving the canvas gives her a shot at healing. And at Verso’s funeral we can see glimpses that maybe the fractured family has a chance to reconcile. But we have to rob Maelle of all agency. To force her back into a world of pain, consign her to a life altering disability. Maelle treasures her family as both Alicia and Maelle equally. But she is ultimately giving up a family either way. Her birth family or her painted one. But she didn’t even get the luxury of choice, after we just fought so hard to give her the agency her father denied her. So we basically sacrificed the very world we fought to save, just for the slim chance that Maelle might get therapy.

So does that make the Maelle ending better? Unfortunately no, because Christ this is a horror story (and the one I got on my playthrough). On the one hand, it seems like the one where everyone got what they wanted. Gustave, Sophie and all those who Gommaged are restored. All these people whose chances at life were stolen from them by the machinations of the Dessendres get a chance at life. And Maelle has clearly given Verso the ability to age, so he will one day die as he wishes, but can live a full life until that happens.

And yet, we come back to that point. The Dessendres are basically gods to the Canvas. That fact can never be put back in the box. Maelle’s relationship with her loved ones will never be the same. However much she loves them, however benevolent her intentions, they’re always going to puppets playing out their existence to make her happy. Letting Verso age might be a kindness in the same way sending Maelle back to her family was, but in the same way, it strips him of any agency. He’s literally performing for her on a stage. Symbolic of how that power dynamic of Painter and Painted will forever linger over them. She will never truly have her brother back.

Furthermore, that (absolutely terrifying) smash cut to Maelle with painted eyes like the Paintress shows the true horror of this. If choosing Verso meant validating Renoir, then choosing Maelle calls Aline to mind. Maelle, like Aline, is left drowning herself in a dream, chasing catharsis in a world she controls. It’s a gentle rule, but a rule nonetheless. She will always be a god, and her found family will always be her creations, and that may well drive her to lose herself as it did her mother.

Verso’s ending was a cruel vivisection, one where the treatment was arguably more extreme than the result. Cutting everything away chasing an uncertain future. Maelle’s ending preserves life, but offers only stagnation. Even after defeating both Aline, and Renoir, both Maelle and Verso were ultimately shaped by their parents, and repeat their perspectives. Even at this final choice one that is theoretically theirs without their parents’ influences, they can’t shake off their legacy of grief and pain. As such, there is no golden ending for these two traumatised souls. It’s too late for that. There is only cruel necessity or gentle delusion.

Both endings come with their share of disturbing implications, and both can make sense to a player at the time. A player might agree with one of the two in the moment but be horrified at the consequences. Like Verso said ‘we’re all hypocrites’ none of these choices are pleasant. The Dessendres’ grief, and the lives they toyed with as a result, will have consequences one way or another.

Ultimately, I would pick Verso’s ending as the lesser evil, if only because it offers some kind of hope that SOMETHING good may come with this. Maybe the family really can move on. Maybe tomorrow will finally come, as the game’s been constantly saying. But you as the player, are still gonna have to carry the weight of Lune’s cold, judgemental stare. Remember how much you threw for even the slimmest chance at another outcome. Is that arguably better than leaving Maelle to a prison of her own making, to nothing but stagnation? Maybe, but that doesn’t make the alternative any less pleasant…

Verso’s ending left me at least hoping that something good may come from it, while wondering if it was worth the cost. Maelle’s ending left me hollow, realising that nothing good could come from this.

Clair Obscur’s ending is definitely hitting notes I’ve seen in other stories and even other RPGs. The need to accept suffering as an inevitable part of life and not hide away from it in fantasy. The fact that the first step to moving on from grief is acceptance. The way parents shape their children and how crucial it is to let them make their own decisions. How easy it is to cling to control after grappling with loss. But the way it leverages the player’s attachment to the world and people of the canvas makes for one of the most thoughtful examples of that narrative. Even if the people of the canvas aren’t ‘real’ they’re still people with hopes and dreams and rich inner lives. And the fact that their only options are oblivion or to forcibly play house with their well meaning but misguided teenage god is a horrible prospect.

Clair Obscur is about grief. It’s about its cyclical nature. About how if we don’t learn to move on from it, it will ripple onwards to our children. But it’s also about how grief causes us to affect the world around us. The horrific cruelty of the canvas’ fate (Verso included) reminds us how we can end up treating others when we’re blinded by our own inner demons.

It’s a brilliantly done conflict to wrap up a brilliantly made game. And one that will likely go down as one of my favourites.

[rosenclaws]

More headcanons for all the Logans please? Your previous ones were so perfect. 1. How does he apologize/make it up to your after an argument when he was in the wrong and knows it but is too stubborn to admit it and ends up hurting your heart. 2. How does he handle (you're totally oblivious and innocent when this other man comes on to you, Logan's your one and only) other men flirting with you and his jealousy? 3. How does he approach you or ask you for comfort when he's upset, in pain - physical or emotional?

OO YES more prompts lfggg. Once again I'm gonna split this into three posts! I got pretty carried away ngl...but thats okay lmao

How does he apologize/make it up to your after an argument

Origins Logan -

Okay so, here's the thing all the Logan's are very stubborn and aren't really the best at apologies but they all go at it in slightly different ways. For origins Logan I could see you two arguing about his nightmares and how he refuses to let you in. Maybe he hurts you and he's refusing to forgive himself and it spirals into a big argument. You still drive him to work the next day and give him lunch but the two of you don't speak to each other. The other guys even rib him asking if there's trouble in paradise which makes Logan really angry. As he's eating lunch he sees that despite your argument you still write him a note and he knows he's fucked up. I think he comes home that day with flowers he's picked and mumbles of an apology. It's hard for him to when he sees the bandage on your arm but he's trying and you'll take that for now. But he will be making dinner from now until the foreseeable future.

Trilogy Logan -

Getting an apology out of Logan is like taking food from a hungry bear. It's just not happening. Logan can be reckless and his the whole not really know his past can really get to him so i think if you guys do get into a fight he def lashes out and says things he doesn't mean just to hurt you. He feels awful but he won't apologize. It's just pure silent treatment between the two of you. Tension builds and everyone can feel it. You refuse to break and Logan is fighting with himself to figure out how to fix things. A part of him wonders if he even should because it could be better for both of you this way. He can't hurt you anymore. But he misses you. He hates waking up to a cold bed, hates seeing you leave the room when he enters. Hates hates hates it.

I think he goes to 'Ro and asks how to fix it and she says, Logan you gotta apologize but he doesn't know how to do that. She def slaps him on the back of his head and just says. Stop being stupid and save your damn relationship. He gets flowers he plucked right out of the yard and steals one of Scotts cars to take you on a nice date. It's a little awkward at first but he's trying. He tells you he was stupid and you agree with that. That he didn't mean what he said and he only said it because he was angry. You don't forgive him right away but on the ride home you hold his hand and Logan takes that as a good sign.

DOFP Logan -

See arguing with this Logan is interesting because I think of all the Logan's he's the best at apologizing. Which isn't saying much but hey he's trying. This argument stems from Logan throwing himself into his work and forgetting your anniversary. Oh you were pissed and Logan was mad at himself but ended up taking it out on you saying it wasn't that big of a deal to him. You gave him the silent treatment and it killsss him. He knows he's an idiot and he didn't mean to imply that you didn't mean anything to him but he really hurt you. He knows he can't just say he's sorry and it all goes away so he plans a whole anniversary date, dresses up in a suit and you know he hates suites, and even takes you to that show you wanted to see. He sits through the whole thing and doesn't complain once. It's sweet seeing him try and make it up to you so you do break the silent treatment with a kiss on his cheek.

Old Man Logan -

He is the hardest to get an apology out of. Honestly...Its hard to be in love with him because he just hates himself so much it makes loving him harder. You don't want to give up on him but he's already given up on himself. Logan knows you are without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to him. You are the shining light in his dark life. He's constantly in this battle of wanting to push you away because he thinks he's protecting you and keeping you in his life because he's selfish and loves you. The argument is born from this dynamic and you're this close to walking out on him again and he tells you to go.

When he comes back later that night and sees your things gone he goes into a rage. He's angry at himself and he knows this is all his fault. He doesn't see you for a little bit. Drowning himself in alcohol and guilt. He's accepted that he's a mess and that you left and it's his fault. Somehow you find each other again. He stumbles into a bar and you happen to be working there. After you left you needed money and this was the only job you could find. It hurt to see him like this. Typical Logan gets himself into a fight after someone tries to touch you. He's not as strong as he used to be though and it ends with you cleaning him up again. Its quiet and he just watches you fix him up. In the quiet whispers he asks you to come home. That he knows he's a mess but he needs you. The words I'm sorry never leave his lips, it's only unspoken which makes it hard for you to accept it. He practically gets on his knees and you can see the pain in his eyes and fuck...you love him more than you should. So you forgive him and he thanks you over and over again.

Worst Logan -

I know this can get kind of repetitive but Logan isn't great at apologies no matter what universe he's from. Same this worst Logan. But he's a lot sadder than he is angrier. This argument is stupid and he knows it is but he can't stop the words that come out of his mouth. You storm out of the apartment and Logan knows the moment the door slams that he's fucked up. I think he tries to basically drown himself in alcohol but Wade won't let him because liver failure is so not cool. He's too afraid to go and apologize so he puts up his walls and pretends he's fine. He's more reckless in his fights and it doesn't matter bc he heals but somehow it helps him.

Eventually Wade gets sick of his ass and just goes off on him. Telling him to get his head out of his ass and that emotionally constipated assholes like him don't get people like you in their lives so he better put his big boy pants on and apologize. So he does. Its cute really he gets flowers and even finds a nice shirt at the goodwill and he's got these big eyes as he apologizes. It's choppy and he fucks up his words a little bit but he does say im sorry and does his best.

[tanjamikaelson]

BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER - CHAPTER 51

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 51: | BACK TO REALITY |

The next day, sunlight filtered through the curtains of Rafe's bedroom, casting a warm, golden glow over everything. You woke up slowly, the afternoon light telling you just how long the two of you had slept. Your head rested on his chest, and his arm was draped around you protectively, holding you close as if even in sleep, he couldn’t bear to let you go. The memories of the previous night made you smile, warmth spreading through your chest as you recalled the way he’d made you feel, completely cherished, utterly loved.

You turned your head, eyes lingering on Rafe’s peaceful face. His lashes cast shadows on his cheekbones, and the soft rise and fall of his chest beneath you was calming. You couldn’t help but admire him, the way the morning, or rather, afternoon light, softened his features and made him look even more handsome. Unable to resist, you traced your finger along the line of his jaw, a feather-light touch that made him stir.

Rafe’s eyes slowly opened, and a sleepy grin spread across his face as he looked down at you. “Good morning, beautiful,” he murmured, his voice husky, still wrapped in the remnants of sleep.

“Better say good afternoon,” you teased, your smile matching his. You watched as his lips curled into a lazy grin, and you ran your fingertip over his bottom lip. His lips were warm, inviting, and you couldn’t resist leaning in to kiss him.

He kissed you back slowly, savoring the moment. “I could get used to this,” Rafe said when your lips finally parted, his blue eyes looking into yours with a tenderness that made your heart flutter.

“Oh yeah?” you smirked, a playful gleam in your eyes.

Rafe hummed, leaning in to kiss you again. This time, the kiss was deeper, and you both let yourselves get lost in the soft warmth of it until you had to pull away to catch your breath.

“Was last night good?” Rafe asked, his voice carrying a hint of pride, but also genuine curiosity. He wanted to know he had made you feel loved and satisfied.

You laughed, throwing your head back onto the pillow with an exaggerated sigh. “Oh my god... It was more than good,” you replied, your voice full of awe and disbelief. “I don’t know how I’m going to walk today.”

Rafe’s laughter was rich and warm, a sound that filled the room and made you smile even wider. He looked incredibly pleased with himself, his grin full of playful arrogance. “You don’t have to go anywhere,” he said, his hand gently running up and down your side.

Your smile faded slightly as reality set in. “I have to go to my parents’ house and give them their key back,” you reminded him. The thought of it made your chest feel heavy, the hurt and disappointment from their estrangement pressing down on you.

Rafe’s expression darkened, a flicker of protectiveness flashing in his eyes. “I’ll go with you,” he offered immediately, his voice strong and unwavering.

“You don’t have to,” you replied softly, not wanting to drag him into the mess of your strained relationship with your parents. “I’ll be quick. I’ll just leave the key under the doormat.” You wanted to get it over with, to not linger in a place that no longer felt like home.

But Rafe’s jaw set with determination. “I want to,” he insisted, his tone leaving no room for argument. “I can’t believe they’re treating you like this. They always loved you.”

A pang of sadness hit you, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. “I can’t believe it either,” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly as you remembered the love that used to fill your childhood home. You had always been their princess, their only child, the center of their world. But things had changed, and you knew you couldn’t go back. “But I guess after everything that happened, they just couldn’t take it anymore.”

Rafe’s gaze softened, and he brushed a lock of hair away from your face. “I hope they’ll forgive you one day,” he said quietly, his voice full of sincerity and hope.

“Yeah, me too,” you replied, your heart aching with the longing for reconciliation. You met his eyes, and for a moment, the weight of everything seemed a little lighter, knowing that Rafe was there beside you, ready to face it all with you.

•°•°•°•°•°•

The two of you finally pulled yourselves out of bed, and before long, you were in the kitchen together. It was a simple act, making breakfast or maybe lunch, considering the time. Rafe hovered beside you, playfully stealing glances and occasionally wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you close as you both prepared the meal. There was laughter and warmth, the small moments reminding you of how much you cherished being with him.

After finishing your food, Rafe offered to clean up, but you both quickly agreed to leave the dishes for later. There were more pressing matters to handle. As you grabbed your jacket and he slipped his keys into his pocket, you felt a twinge of anxiety settle in your chest. The drive to your parents’ house was filled with quiet conversation and the gentle hum of the car engine, but the weight of what you were about to do sat heavily between you.

When you arrived at the familiar house, your heartbeat was a little faster. Memories flooded your mind, birthday parties, holiday mornings, countless moments that felt so far away now. You glanced at Rafe, who gave you an encouraging nod, his blue eyes full of unwavering support.

You stepped out of the car, feeling the brisk air hit your skin as you made your way to the front door. The house loomed before you, both familiar and foreign, all at once. Taking a steadying breath, you looked directly at the camera mounted above the door. You held up the spare key, a silent acknowledgment to your parents that you were returning it, as promised.

With a heavy heart, you bent down and tucked the key under the doormat. It felt like you were leaving a piece of yourself behind, a final surrender to the reality that this house was no longer your home. You straightened up, your eyes stinging, but you held back the tears. This wasn’t the place to cry.

Turning on your heel, you made your way back to the car. Rafe watched you carefully, and as soon as you slipped into the passenger seat, he reached over and grabbed your hand. His grip was firm, a silent offer of comfort that you desperately needed.

“If you need anything,” he said softly, his voice full of determination, “Name it, and I’ll buy it for you.” He knew how much you had sacrificed, how you had left behind all the little things that once made your room yours. The clothes, the keepsakes, the things you hadn’t been able to take with you.

You looked at him, your heart swelling with gratitude. “Thank you, Rafe,” you whispered, squeezing his hand. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

He brought your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. “I just want to make sure you have everything you need,” he said, his gaze unwavering. “You deserve that.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling the overwhelming mix of loss and love. “I’m lucky to have you,” you said, your voice cracking slightly, but you managed a small smile.

Rafe’s eyes softened, and he leaned in, resting his forehead against yours for a moment. “No,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. “I’m the lucky one.”

The moment was quiet and intimate, a fragile sense of solace shared between you. As Rafe pulled away to start the car, you couldn’t help but feel a little more whole, even in the face of everything you’d lost. Together, the two of you drove away from the house, leaving behind what once was, but carrying the promise of what could be.

TAGS: @wearemadeofstardust0 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @thepopcultureaddict @deeznuggetsbebussin @wtfdudesblog @davinashifts333 @pvyden @charchartumb-lr

[pinkkop]

This week's recap is brought to you by tumblr's "Potentially Mature" content label which seems to have no concept of what might actually be mature because apparently Prod gushing to Hem about his confession fits within that category🙄

QL Recap for Week 18

The 28th of April to the 4th of May

🇹🇭 Pit babe 2

Episode 1 of 13 || Watching on: iQiYi, Friday

We are so back!! And we certainly started off with a bang (literally) and I'm so ready for this season. It's good to know that Babe still absolute loves getting railed and Charlie is up for the challenge. Surprisingly I'm most excited for Sonic and North. The awkwardness in their first interaction was immaculate and was just the perfect setup for their story. Lets make a prayer circle for someone to get pregnant at some point during this season 🕯️🕯️🕯️

🇹🇭 My Stubborn

Episode 3 of 12 || Watching on: iQiYi, Sunday

Seems like Sorn has been down bad for a long while! The plot thickens!! They're absolute idiots and this is going to become such a mess but I am absolutely loving this. Loved the conversation about top vs bottom, even though we still need a little bit more nuance, we've come a long way with this topic. Also the NC scenes are still absolute fire as I was hoping they would be.

🇹🇭 Lost in the Woods

Episode 7 of 7 || Watching on: Gagaoolala, Wednesday

Oh this show was special! I loved the slow burn and the characters. It just left me feeling fulfilled and like I'd witnessed something special. It felt fresh and gentle and warm and kind and I'll carry this show with me for a long time. It's definitely on the 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us spectrum of BL so if your idea of what a BL is is very narrow you might not like this show. Definitely going to try and make a final post about this show but I'm going to have to let it simmer a bit in my mind before I can find all the right words to articulate why I liked this so much.

🇹🇭 The Next Prince

Episode 1 of 14 || Watching on: iQiYi, Saturday

This was a promising start. I loved the soundtrack and Nunew and Zee are talented as always. I am finding it a little hard not to judge the show a little bit because we know how expensive it was to make, which is also obvious from the sets, clothing etc. This does, however, mean that when a scene is meant to be set at a uni party in London and all the actors have questionable accents and English abilities I don't feel as forgiving as I might normally. I just wish they'd spent a little more time and money on that. I know we're probably not going to see any of those characters again but still. I'm hoping I'll be able to kinda forget the production cost as we go along and get completely immersed in the show but I'm not there yet.

🇹🇭 The Bangkok Boy

Episode 2 of 12 || Watching on: Gagaoolala, Saturday

It's crazy that our leads haven't even really met yet and it's ep 2. It makes me intrigued for how this show is going to unfold because it's so atypical for BLs. Really like the acting of the show and the concept, though it definitely is a show that so far has needed a trigger warning for both episodes. It seems like the mafia plot is going to take the front seat so I might have to go back and watch some of the scenes again so I can get all the expositions.

🇹🇭 Boys in Love

Episode 3 of 12 || Watching on: Youtube, Sunday

They're really cute and I do like all the student characters and interactions and how the relationships are evolving but this show feels kinda like we're bumbling along with no real road map which is a pity. I also don't think the kids taking the camera felt like just teasing. Papang's character was very distraught and the kids saw that so it feels more like bullying to me.

🇹🇭 My Golden Blood

Episode 8 of 12 || Watching on: Youtube, Wednesday

Spent most of my time during this episode not being able to take the show seriously and making jokes about possible connections to Twilight, which I think describes my experience watching this show well. There are just so many other better shows airing right now and this show just doesn't have me hooked.

🇹🇭 I'm Your Moon

Episode 8 of 8 || Watching on: iQiYi, Sunday

I guess that's one way of getting out your arranged marriage: getting shipwrecked and then stranded in France where you stay until your fiance moves on to a different arranged marriage. This show was very much a pulp but I find that easier to deal with because it leaned in the lakorn direction with a lot of drama. It's not necessarily a good show but it's also not a bad show but I think the fact that I watched it until end does speak volumes.

🇹🇼 Fight for You

Episode 7 of 12 || Watching on: Gagaoolala, Friday

This show is certainly happening. Like it's not really good but also not really bad. If this suddenly doesn't show up in future weekly recaps I hope you won't miss it. Honestly, seeing that we're only on ep 7 of 12 makes me tired.

That's it for this week!!

For links and airing schedule check out World of BL (Only for BLs)

[polyphemusboo]

ghost fic to Nails by Call Me Karizma if possible? I linked the music video from YouTube to make it easier :p, have a good day/night!!!

cw: brief? smut. cannibalism as a metaphor for an 0rgy. a human s-crifice, sort of. a hearth and witches. the underworld (not Hell). the devil wears prada, but literally. simon’s a simp. established relationship. they’re freaks. reader spikes simon’s brownies (he’s aware). that mv + peek a boo by red velvet cuz yes.

simon ghost riley x gn!reader.

Death Becomes You

If your partner tells you they’re part of a coven and you don’t immediately think they’re the coolest, you’re lame. At least, that’s how Simon sees it.

Truly, he never really questioned it. If you have places to be, Simon’s nobody to ask you about it, because you’re capable of taking care of yourself. He doesn’t really mind the blood stains —that he ends up cleaning because you usually pass out pretty soon after arriving—, nor the weird scratches he can see on your arms when you sleep next to him. He knows that if you needed his help, you would just ask him. The scratches make him squint, however. Cheating’s never been in his mind, up until that point.

Simon decided to ask once, the morning after he saw those scratches the first time, but the deadpan look in your eyes, the arch of your eyebrow, made him apologize, cheeks warm. That night, he made sure to make you come as many times as possible, three fingers deep inside, mouth all over you until he could taste your forgiveness for the slip of his tongue. He knelt for hours, flipping you onto your back and stomach until you pushed him away, sensitive. He got a really nice, warm meal after that.

It’s not like it comes as an actual surprise, looking back.

Not a single bug in sight except for spiders you would refuse to let him kill, jars filled with sparkling, crystal water you would not let him touch, all those weird things that would happen around the house, and your baking. Your brownies make him so sleepy he often finds himself waking up on the table with half a bite still in his mouth, with you nowhere to be seen for hours. Simon just gulps down the bite of brownie and lays on the couch, watching a show until you’re back.

He’s surprised, though, when you suddenly stop baking. No cooking, no touching. Simon keeps himself busy, trying not to think of the inevitable; you’re losing feelings. It’s so painfully obvious, with you being extra nice, coming home directly after work and spending less time out, talking to him, but there’s… nothing. You barely even kiss him anymore.

And then, after a whole month, you sit him down on the bed. A month without your food, a month without you letting him go down on you —a month of misery. A month of nothing. Simon’s mind fills with desperate screams, thinking you’re leaving him. That’s it, he thinks as he sits in front of you, you’re finally leaving him and he’s back to being alone and without you. He probably did something wrong, and you don’t want to tell him because you don’t want to hurt him. 

Simon’s already begging in his mind, because you look so sad, so nervous, and he really can’t believe you’re gonna leave him just like—

“I’m a witch.”

He stares, waiting. 

For a hot moment, neither of you say anything. Simon’s lips purse, body shaking, and he can’t hold it back any longer when your shoulders slump further. “What… does that have to do with anything?”

“Huh?”

“You’re leaving me, and you’re telling me you’re a witch… Why, exactly?”

“I’m- leaving you?”

Simon springs up from the bed, pacing in front of you. He waves a hand around the room, choking down his tears of desperation. The walls seem ready to swallow him, to drown him. “Yes, of course you are. You don’t want to look at me, won’t let me hold you at night, and you even refused to hug me for the past few days. I don’t even understand why!”

He doesn’t realize you’re standing as well, lips trembling as you look at him, bright eyes warming at his reaction. Your lips curl up, amused. Simon’s too busy panicking to see the smile he’s missed oh so much, however.

“No brownies, even though those have been my favorite for the past three years, no cuddling, no kissing, no ‘good morning, sweetheart’. What did I do wrong?” 

“Simon.”

“No! You know what, I don’t even wanna hear it. It’s fine. If that’s what you want, I’ll just grab my stuff and I’ll leave.”

Simon’s not expecting you to push him to the bed, lungs collapsing when your mouth finds his. Deep in his mind, he’s sure you’re just giving him this one more time so he doesn’t leave with his heart entirely broken, but there’s no way he’s gonna stop you. He can taste the way you’re calling him an idiot, brainless and stupid. Simon eats it up, slurping your tongue, making sure you can feel him through your clothes when he grips your hips tightly. He doesn’t care. If this is his last chance, he’ll prove you he can stay. He’s worth it. He really is.

“I tell you I’m a witch, and you don’t even blink,” you grunt, fingers scratching on his skin when you remove his t-shirt. It’s hot, and he’s sweating buckets, but he doesn’t make a single move to pin you down. It you want it like this, you can have it. “Ridiculous. Did you even listen to me?”

“Why would I care?” Simon pants, fingers tugging on the soft fabric of your clothes. The skin to skin contact nearly makes him faint, and he’s not even inside of you yet.

“I’ve been spiking your brownies,” you confess in a hiss, leaning down to bite down on his neck. “It’s easier to leave when you’re asleep”. Your skin is burning, smooth yet sticky, and it keeps him in a trance. It’s clear you’re trying to warn him, maybe make him understand, but honestly…

“They’re good. Worth it.”

“You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Mhm.”

The thing is, of course he knows. Brownies shouldn’t make people so dizzy, so sleepy they pass out for hours; but you never hurt him, and he didn’t question it because why would he? He gets to eat good brownies, and gets to muffle his complaints when he’s fucking you with his tongue, so really, Simon wins.

He keeps winning when you’re still babbling against the bedsheets, cheek shiny with spit as your words mix with your whimpers, telling him all the things you’ve done behind his back, all the things you’ve done with the coven deep in the night. Simon’s cock is pounding so deep inside of you that he’s almost sure you’re fucking with him when you mention his boss, and that delicious meatloaf you made last year.

“What?” He grunts anyway, one of his hands pressing down on your back, making sure you’re bending just the way he knows you like. The reaction is immediate, if the way your toes curl is anything to go by.

“Mhm. Baked.”

Simon doesn’t even bother asking, accepting his fate, and leans down forward, his strong arm wrapping around your neck to keep you in place as picks up the pace. The slapping of skin against skin is loud and overwhelming enough that he can’t hear your confessions anymore, and Simon couldn’t care less, not when you’re falling apart under him. Your babbling becomes only that, mindless words and whimpers, eyes rolling back into your skull when Simon only pins you harder on the bed. 

It goes on, and on, and on.

The birds chirping outside remind Simon that neither of you slept tonight, but he’s too busy holding your legs on his shoulders to care. Your eyes are half-lidded, expression cock-drunk, and he wouldn’t have it any other way; you’ve come apart so many times tonight that he’s sure you’re never leaving. That’s really all he cares about, not losing you —and making sure you’re satisfied, really.

Only when you mumble at him to give you a break, does he gently shift away. Simon gives you some time to breathe as he grabs a warm, damp pillow to wipe you down with it, humming contently. A smirk slowly curls his lips up, making sure to press kisses down your heated skin, a happy feeling blooming in his chest.

“Come with me.” Your voice is soft and dreamy, and he’s once again reminded of how long he went without hearing you sound like that.

“Where?”

“Home.”

When the sun comes down again, Simon’s finally allowed to come with you. For three years, he never once thought of asking you where you went, didn’t even wonder if he could know, and now, you guide him deep into the forest, with only a candle in your hands. You’re wearing a deep purple cloak over thin, white clothes, but he’s wearing his usual hoodie and trousers. It makes him feel out of place, but you had insisted. “Trust the process”, you told him.

Simon’s not expecting the group of people smiling at him when you two finally reach a big hearth in the middle of a clearing. There are seven people, all of them standing around the fire with their backs against big trees; two of them are empty. It takes him a moment, but when his eyes focus he realizes they’re all naked. Lips parted, slightly confused, he turns to you, only to see that your cloak and clothes are also gone. He frowns, not fond of people looking at you this way, but your smile has him sighing.

They all introduce themselves, names that Simon somehow already knew just looking at their faces, but nobody really talks, their lips unmoving. He doesn’t blink when their soft hands get rid of his clothes, voices filling his mind as they tug on him, pulling him closer to the hearth. Your eyes find his whenever he feels a spark of doubt, giving him a cheeky smile.

Simon’s eyes fall shut when your lips find his, but it doesn’t stop there. Hands grip on him, tugging on his skin, feeling as it’s ripped from his body but it doesn’t hurt. It’s pleasant, and it’s warm. 

It’s hot.

He’s not sure he’s even been touched by so many people, let alone at the same time, but he can’t think. Wet lips and soft hands, teeth and warm skin burn on him. It burns, and burns. When his eyes blink open, they’re all in the middle of the hearth, teeth sinking deep in his skin as they bite, as they rip him apart. They leave nothing but his bones behind.

There’s no real pain, he realizes, and the pride in your face is enough to convince him he’s right where he’s supposed to be.

The fire roars, and the flames grow, eating all the trees away, eating the dark sky until there’s nothing but yellow light all around. It’s warm, and he feels at home, especially now that he can focus only on you.

A moment later, he’s himself again, bones and skin, and very much bare, but he’s not in the forest anymore. 

Everything is bright, and it feels like he should be melting, but the warmth it’s welcoming, comforting. A man is smiling at everyone, all the seven people around and at the two of you. He’s wearing a beautiful suit, slicked back blonde hair, and Simon swears he has a brooch with horns right above his heart.

“Welcome.”

-ˋˏ✄——————————————————

im so sorry it took me so long. writing isn’t coming easy to me at all since last month but i got inspired again because of this! I had a lot of fun writing it, and the song is amazing so thank you. also, i promise i tried to keep it close to the actual mv, but i ended up taking inspiration from some of the scenes and the concept instead of the actual mv. I hope you didn't mind sm 🙏🏻

buy me a coffee

tags: @kittygonap @silas-aeiou

[corvusalbus93]

Astarion & the Gur children Post Epilogue

There are two letters you get, when you stop the Rite of Profane Ascension and free the spawn. One is penned by Sebastian, informing you of the spawn making a home for themselves in the Underdark, thanking us for giving them this chance, for seeing them as people and not monsters - and now they are trying to live up that.

The other is from Ulma and it is directly addressed to Astarion, which I think is really touching. Not just because she reiterates that he’s no longer hunted, but also because he’s become a bit of a role-model for the children, who still struggle as newly turned vampires. And seeing his character development/growth made them believe in redemption, even if it’s difficult and painful.

Let’s think back for a moment.

Down in the dungeon Gandrel’s daughter Chessa, hungry, angry and afraid, lashes out at Astarion, blaming him for what happened to them. Threatening to kill him. But, when you state your intent to save them, she isn’t sure they should be saved, afraid they’ll hurt their families. Unsure if they could control themselves.

Astarion on his part is reasonably concerned they’ll tear him to shreds - that they’ll never forgive him. He also says he never wants to see them again and doesn’t want the world to know his shame, so despite his earlier deflection of (rightfully) blaming Cazador, he still feels responsible - guilty.

Later on, there sadly is no unique dialogue, when you pick Astarion to talk with Gandrel and his daughters in the sewers, so we can’t tell how the children feel about him at that point in time.

And then during the epilogue party he gets the previously mentioned letter:

He learns that he now serves as an inspiration to these same children, is looked upon with more admiration than fear. During their first meeting Ulma directly told him: “You have stolen lives, broken families, and caused immeasurable grief.” And now here are some of these families, who’ve gotten a second chance, because of him.

Sadly, we don’t know how he reacted to this letter, so its pure headcanon from here on out. Though he does say “It has made for a nice change, though – inspiring hope in people instead of terror” (& inspiring a little terror, presumably in his targets), in non-romance + adventurer playthroughs. This leads me to believe it might have been a somewhat encouraging read, validation even, as he’s still healing and redefining himself.

In playthroughs in which he’s adventuring alongside Tav, it’s probably quite similar.

So, in such continuities, I could see him visiting the Gur from time to time, exchange information/leads with them, since they too have a vested interest in finding cures to the vampiric weaknesses (though the Gur would probably also want to cure the curse outright, if possible).

Just to spin this headcanon a little further, I’d like to think the relationship between Astarion and the children would continue to improve over time. Back in the dungeon they are reasonably angry, but the letter already indicates a positive shift. If Astarion were to find a way to cure/negate one or more of the vampiric weaknesses and share that knowledge with them, or even just shows genuine compassion, it would further that development. Perhaps they even fully forgive him at some point.

Also, they share the same affliction; he can understand/relate to them (and vice versa) on a level their families can’t. And the Gur will eventually outlive everyone – as will Astarion, unless (partnered) Tav is some kind of elf, in which case those two have a good few centuries. So there is a potential for a real connection to develop.

To round this off on a light-hearted note: maybe in an effort to ease his own guilt, he might teach the children a bit on how to use their new abilities and hone their sharpened senses – things along those lines. While Astarion may not be cut out to be a parent currently (but don’t let me ruin your own headcanon, you go have fun), teaching kids how to be a greater menace – that he can do:

Gandrel walks into the house/hut one day, and sees Astarion and the kids on the ceiling, Tav below, standing by in case someone falls.

Kass, waving, bow in the other hand. “Look father! Uncle Astarion is showing us how to use spider climbing!” 

Gandrel spots a training dummy with several arrows already in it. “And ambush tactics, I see.”