"Your father used poison. he didn't want to kill him, he wanted to destroy him in the most painful way possible."
no no no. I don't want to believe that such a painful scene existed. on the other hand, I've always wondered why Seon-ho didn't find out about Hwi after Yeon's death. this is probably right after seeing Yeon's corpse because his hands are still bloody. this scene shows in the preview of ep 10 and only has this dialogue from Hui-jae. I'm glad they removed it (although we missed an masterpiece performance from Dohwan) but I couldn't bear to see more Seon-ho's pain and guilt in that episode. now I hate Hui-jae even more because of the way she looks at Seon-ho and the tone of her speech.
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How mctna characters would react if they saw their AO3 tag
Hwi: *sees the fix-it fics* check it out Seon-ho-ya we're together in some of these!
Bang-won: *looks tenderly at the BangHwi fics* this is my country
Hui-jae: *tumbleweed rolls past*
Seon-ho: Why does everyone want to fuck me/fuck me over???
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"Jack, I'm flying!"~
Crash course in romance, 2023
--- behind the scenes pics are always the most wholesome shit to ever exist lol
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Let it all go
Seon-ho prepares himself for the worst. Yeon is dead, is there anything worse? how can Hwi survive without Yeon?
in all these years, Seon-ho has learned from life that for surviving, trying to fight is a stronger motivation than love. he follows Hui-jae while his mind is incapable of predicting the end of this terrible story.
Hwi is there, in pain. this means he's still alive.
so Seon-ho, not knowing whether to be happy or sad about it, gently puts his hand on the edge of the wooden bed to keep from falling, then kneels next to him.
+your father didn't want to kill him.
Seon-ho looks at Hwi's face, once again. to make sure he's really alive. his lips are bruised and parted slightly for breathing. there's an infected wound on his chest.
+he poisoned him to die in the worst way. he killed Yeon so that Hwi would die with the pain of losing her.
Seon-ho was staring at Hwi as he feels his body bending under a heavy load. unable to say anything. the hard lump that closed his throat doesn't allow him to speak. he can't even cry. this is the result of all his efforts. "what if..." he has repeated this many times in his mind. but time doesn't wait for him. it's mercilessly moving forward and pulling everything inside its. Yeon's smile, Hwi's peace and Seon-ho's heart.
he slams his fist on the ground to pain makes him conscious. his hands are shaking like when he couldn't touch Yeon's body. something is preventing him from touching Hwi too, as it was about Yeon.
+poison doesn't destroy Hwi. Yeon's death...
-enough. please...I beg you...stop it.
again though he doesn't want to, he breaks in front of her.
Seon-ho doesn't hear another voice behind himself. the only sound of her skirt rustling on the floor and then only Hwi’s painful breathing.
-H...Hwi...
Hwi's name comes out of his mouth like a word he isn't allowed to say. there's no angry answer. it's only at that moment that his tears start to fall non-stop.
-why didn't you trust me? why does no one listen to me in this hell?
but Yeon had trusted him. Seon-ho took her out of that hell then she was sent to heaven thanks to his father. he put his exploding head on his arms. why did nothing ever go right?
-Yeon is sleeping peacefully. but you have to survive, you have to wake up.
Seon-ho knows that Hwi will take revenge. of course, if he can. if there will be a big war, either Hwi will die or Namjeon. and Seon-ho's presence in the meantime won't matter to anyone anyway. he has no strength left to fight. he tried his best to save Hwi and Yeon both and stop his father, but everything had collapsed.
when he comes out of the room, Hui-jae is standing there.
-can he be treated?
+he's strong, you know.
now her tone is calmer and free of anger. Seon-ho nods in agreement.
+don't you want to stay until he wakes up?
-it's better for him if he doesn't see me.
seeing him reminds Hwi of what happened. as the son of his sister's murderer... the bastard or official son, it doesn't matter. Namjeon was his father after all. so Seon-ho set out.
+if you want to see Yeon...
Seon-ho stops but doesn't turn back. Chi-do takes her to a hut near the river.
Seon-ho doesn't tell Hui-jae that when she had to go because Hwi had fainted, he was the one who took Yeon in his arms and carried her to that cottage. with strange pain in his whole body. only Chi-do knows this secret.
-it doesn't matter how many times I see her. she doesn't see me anymore.
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i just finished watching the new episode and!
i think. it is very, very interesting the way sung-jae's and mr. ji's stories mirror each other.
both end up with one person dead (or, at least fatally injured in nam hae-e's case), both with a mother that are borderline (or maybe completely) toxic and study-obsessed, both have an older sibling that are irreparably damaged by their parent's attitudes towards education and both are just. not alright.
at all.
dong-hui with his pseudo-gratitude/affection and obsession in chi yeol and sung-jae with his constant practice of bottling things up and, more often than not, blindly fllowing his mother's assurances that i'll deal with it.
sure, her rebels by sharing the material with hae-e. but it's only until he has an outside presence that's aware of what's just happened that he realises the true extent of his mother's actions.
sung-jae chose to run away from his problems. dong-hui chose to meet them head on and take action to end them - violently.
and the lack of male figures in their lives - mr. ji's dad is nowhere to be seen, only his uncle who seems to care and step in by reporting him missing. sung-jae's dad - despite moving out, there are no scenes where he reaches out to his children.
if he knows what an influence his wife is on them, why would he not offer them an outlet? an escape from the study mania? he knows what hui-jae is like, how he's changed, but he doesn't even bother to stay in contact with his sons.
they both have very similar stories, but they both care.
dong-hui in a obsessive, all-consuming way; sung-jae in an empathetic, scared-to-show-it way.
they are mirrors and parallels of each other, only years apart. and what does that say?
that more often than not, whether rich or poor, the story repeats itself.
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What if it had happened to you? What do you think Hwi would have done? —EPISODE 3
Seolhyun as Han Hui-jae and Woo Do-hwan as Nam Seon-ho (나의 나라 My Country: The New Age, 2019)
[ID in ALT]
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