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lumosinlove · 3 years

Text

Vaincre

part iii

cw: brief, non-graphic mention of injury and medical assistance

September

Only blue talk and love

Remember

How we knew love was here to stay

Summer hadn’t truly felt over until Remus saw Regulus standing in the airport, bags checked for New York and backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Well,” Regulus said, shifting a little between his feet. “Here goes.”

Remus laughed. “It’s going to be amazing, Reg.”

“Maybe. Hopefully.”

“It will,” Sirius said. “But if you need anything we’re…what? A four hour drive?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah, you can call.”

Regulus huffed out a laugh. “You two sound like worried parents.”

Sirius laughed, too. “I’m just glad we know what those sound like now.”

Regulus’ expression shifted, tightening. He nodded, seemed to hang in hesitation for a moment, and then walked forward two steps and threw his arms around Sirius. Sirius froze, too, with his hands in his pockets, and then wrapped his little brother up tight.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” Remus heard Regulus murmur softly. “I don’t really think you left me there. With them.”

Sirius made an indistinguishable sound, and Remus took a step back, giving them space and not sure if he was fighting tears or a smile. He used to just think about how he could kill Sirius and Regulus’ parents if he had the chance, but now, seeing how far the brothers had come, he wasn’t sure they were worth the time at all.

“Come home sometimes, okay?” Sirius said. “D’accord?”

“Ouais,” Regulus said.

They pulled apart slowly, both a little bright-eyed. Sirius laughed wetly, wiping his face.

“And make good friends.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “I think that’s supposed to be good choices.”

Sirius reached out for Remus’ hand. “Good friends are good choices.”

“Ah,” Regulus hitched his pack farther up his shoulder. “Of course.”

“Call when you get there, too,” Remus cut in. “My mom would definitely want me to say that.”

Regulus waved them off. “Okay, that’s enough parenting. I’m going now.”

Sirius held Remus’ hand tight as they watched Regulus go through security and then disappear with a wave, sliding his headphones on. He let out a long, unsteady breath.

“Merde.”

“Love ya,” Remus smiled, reaching up to wipe a tear from Sirius’ cheek.

Sirius glanced down at him. “He’s going to be fine.”

“He is,” Remus nodded.

“He forgives me.”

“No,” Remus said. “He told you that you never did anything wrong.”

Sirius let out another tearful laugh, sniffing. “Right. You’re right.”

Remus pushed up on his toes to kiss his cheek. “Wanna get dinner?”

“Ouais. That sounds perfect.”

They wandered the summer soft streets, cooled by the evening and by approaching September. Remus was torn between being ready to let summer go, and never wanting it to end at the same time.

It’s good to hear a packed Hogwarts Stadium again, huh, Dean? Even if just for a preseason game against our New York Rangers neighbors.

Right, Lee? I love this post-summer feeling, and I know our Lions do, too. Especially excited to see what our new talent has to offer. This’ll be fan’s first glimpse at Lupin and Reyes, our two…well, I suppose rookie wouldn’t be quite as perfect a word for Lupin as it is for Reyes. We’re used to Lupin’s face around here, huh.

That we are. Not used to seeing what is rumored to be some very quick feet on him, though. As far as testing went, that is.

Right, the bike test. As well as strength. Who knows. This could be building up to a very interesting season.

Remus stared up at the TV mounted on the wall as he peddled slowly on the stationary bike, keeping his legs warm. He felt bizarre, and had been dodging any type of media to avoid having to talk about it. He was dreading post-game. Every time he tried to think of something to say, his mind went blank.

I’m happy to be here.

I never thought I would be here.

The other half of his brain was trying to compute that it wouldn’t just be the preseason, practice scrimmages he was used to. It wouldn’t just been his team, his friends, out there. Not that it would be a full fledged game, either. No one looked to crushing blows during a preseason game. It was about getting warm. Remus was thankful for it. He didn’t know how he was going to feel when he put his jersey on. When he stepped out onto the ice. He had been nervous enough for the fitness testing.

“You’re literally the fastest guy here,” Finn had said after he’d gotten off of the bike—with the highest score. It had made him feel better, but he knew he wouldn’t really be settled until until coach called his name from the line card.

“Loops,” Logan said, swinging onto the bike beside him. “I keep running into you.”

Remus smiled. “Looks like we having similar warm-up routines.”

“Apparemment,” Logan nodded, turning up the resistance. “Nervous?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

Logan nodded, but stayed quiet and Remus was thankful. Everyone tried to talk him out of it, Sirius included, and he loved them for that, but at the same time, this was nice, too.

“Me too, sort of,” Logan said, and they traded a smile before looking back up at the Gryffindor pre-game show.

“All right,” Coach Arthur Weasley clapped his hands and gestured to the side of the room where the assistant coaches and staff were standing. The whole locker room was flooded with energy of all kinds—nervous, excited—and it flowed through those not in uniform, too. “We all know Moody. We all know our coaches. Mason, Alexandra, and Dan. We all know our PTs—should I say new PTs—“ there were some laughs. “Lars and Layla.”

“Double-Ls,” Thomas whooped.

Layla gave two thumbs up, and Lars remained stoic, arms crossed. He hadn’t said much since arriving aside from the occasional wise-cracking joke delivered without a trace of a smile.

“Who’s captain serious now, eh?” Thomas leaned in to whisper, and Remus suppressed a smile, glancing at Sirius—who was wearing an almost equally focused expression on his face, completely still where he sat a few stalls down, past Thomas and James. Remus glanced around the locker room, down the crescent-shaped row. Kasey and Leo, on opposite ends, were both geared up. Finn and Leo were sharing AirPods. Remus knew Kasey had worked hard over the summer, rehabbing his thigh, strengthening and increasing flexibility. He knew Leo was happy to be his back-up, but part of him wondered what Leo thought about all the games he had played in the play-offs, only to be placed right back on the bench now. It happened to a lot of guys—some were called up for injury, only to be sent right back down to the farm team when injuries healed. But Remus thought it was different for goalies. He hoped Coach wouldn’t leave Leo sitting on the bench for too long.

“Who’s calling first line?” Coach asked, and held the card out to Sirius. “Cap?”

Remus didn’t realize until the cheers broke out that he could be loud with the rest of them, and gave his stall a few bangs as Sirius rose, hat keeping his hair back. His eyes found Remus’ briefly once had turned towards them with the card, and Remus’ breath caught at his beaming grin.

“Okay, boys, first line,” Sirius said. “We’ve got Pots.”

Clap.

“Tremzy.”

Thomas drum-rolled his stall.

Sirius smiled. “Myself.”

Finn put two fingers in his mouth and whistled.

“And on D, Olli and Timmy.”

While the boys burst into chatter again, Remus watched Sirius hand the card back to Coach, and caught his eye again, raising an eyebrow. Sirius held up Thomas’ number, and Jackson’s. Remus nodded to himself. That could be the third or fourth line, and he’d played well with both of them in scrimmages. It made sense. He could work with that.

And it meant he’d get to watch Sirius out there. At least that wouldn’t change.

“All right,” Coach laughed, putting his glasses back on and turning towards the other coaches. “Get dressed, get dressed.”

Remus had sat in his stall quite a few times by now. For his promo-pictures at the beginning of the summer—the first time he had slipped his jersey on, too, right over his suit and tie. But sitting in it now, strapping his pads over his bare chest before a game, a game where he would be up against other NHL players…that was different.

“You’re one of those?” Thomas snorted, flicking Remus’ bare ribs. “Doesn’t the velcro scratch?”

Remus laughed. “Can’t break old habits.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Or is now the perfect time to make new ones.”

“Not after a year like the last,” Remus said.

“Oh,” Thomas whistled, yanking the laces of his skates tight. “You’re that superstitious.”

“I try not to be,” Remus stood. “But playing again…seems to bring it out in me.”

Remus turned to step into his pants, adjusting the pads and his jock until everything fit together comfortably. He eyed his jersey, the number six hanging proudly on a hanger, and he smiled to himself but turned to his skates next. The jersey sent his heart leaping into his throat. He’d save it for last.

“Let’s go boys,” Pascal called, standing by the door to bump fists and pat helmets on their way out.

Remus laced up his skates, pulling them tight over his taped up socks, and then, finally, removed his jersey from its hook. He didn’t waste time staring down at it. That would just make him overthink and, hopefully, he’d have many times to put this jersey on again.

It slid over his shoulder pads, he tucked in the back, and grabbed his helmet.

“I like that Loops is just over there grinning to himself,” Finn snorted as he left for the tunnel.

Remus shrugged, eyes finding Sirius. He already looked like his mind was on the ice, even for such a low stakes game.

“You know,” Remus said as the team started to file down the tunnel. “I used to go last.”

Sirius’ intense eyes lightened into a softer gray. He shifted from one skate to another. “Oh? I don’t know if I knew that.”

Remus tilted his head, smile playing at one corner of his mouth. “Well? What are we gonna do?”

Sirius just stared at him. “I… I go last.”

Remus let out his laughter, leaning up to tap their helmets together. He vaguely heard a camera flash go off, and smiled. He wanted that picture.

“You should have seen your face, baby,” he whispered, and grabbed his stick from the rack before catching up to James.

He heard Sirius splutter out a laugh—and there was definitely some relief in there—and follow.

The sounds of the crowd in Hogwarts stadium only grew louder. Remus could feel Sirius close behind him.

“Ready, mon loup?” he asked quietly, just before the tunnel opened up to the lights.

Remus didn’t know if Sirius heard his yes over the roar of the team’s entry into a sea of red and gold, but then feet were on the ice he was doing a lap, the Rangers at the other end.

On opening night, Remus knew he would be taking this lap alone, along with Cole. A rookie’s first official NHL game. It felt surreal to think about. He couldn’t knock the feeling that he was too old for that—but he knew plenty of guys did it at his age. You didn’t have to be eighteen.

He picked up a puck and headed towards the goal, trying to decide if it would help to block out the noise, or let it overtake him. The boys were dialed in. Remus glanced over at Sirius, feeling strangely bare without him by his side. But he was over by center ice, tracing the Lion printed there—as usual. Remus didn’t want to seem favored. He didn’t want to seem clingy. They weren’t a couple out here, he knew that. They were teammates.

He shot at Kasey, who caught his puck in his glove, and began the wrap-around again before pushing backwards around the outside of the goal, as he always used to. He’d done his routine a few times at the beginning of practices, but it was nothing compared to being surrounded by a crowd—a bigger crowd than he’d ever actually played in front of before.

Kasey tapped a puck at him once he reached his first post, and he laughed, shooting it back until a sign waving at the glass caught his eye. It was held by a kid, maybe around Julian’s age.

I want a signed stick the ReMOST, Lupin!

Remus laughed at the kid’s wide eyes when he saw that he was looking, and gave him a thumbs up the best he could with his gloves on before holding up his stick.

“One second,” he called over the crowd.

When he got to the bench, Sirius was there stretching, holding out an already uncapped sharpie.

And looks like Lupin’s heading over to sign that young man a stick. I bet that’s a good feeling after—oh! Black’s got a pen ready for him.

Remus shoved a glove under his arm and took it. “You saw the sign?”

“I got the kid down to the glass,” Sirius grinned.

“I love you,” Remus said as he scribbled his signature, complete with the jersey number that players always included.

It took two tries to get the stick successfully over the glass, but for the look on the boy’s face, Remus would have tried twenty.

“Feels good, eh?” James said once the horn blew for warmups and they were settled onto the bench.

“Too good,” Remus said.

“First line,” Coach called, slapping his calling card against his palm. “12, 10, 7, let’s go. Olli, Tims, on D.”

Sirius sent him a quick smile, and Remus spun his stick in front of him. “Let’s go, Captain.”

Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes as he pushed away from the boards towards center ice, where Zibanejad was waiting.

Good to see that sort of…what would you call it, Dean, from Black?

Light energy, I think, Lee. Sirius is well known around the league for his intensity.

Right. Nice to see Lupin getting a smile out of him before what is most probably a season that holds more pressure than usual for the Lions, after a Cup year.

One of Black’s coaches once said in an interview that the only thing Sirius feels after scoring a goal is pressure to score another. Ha, sounds about right.

Remus all but held his breath when the ref dropped the puck. Sirius stole it back for James who nicked it over to Logan. Logan sped it into the neutral zone, narrowly avoiding Lafrenière.

“Bulky kid,” Finn said from beside Remus.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Logan?”

“Well—yeah, but nah, Lafrenière,” Finn nodded. “Built like a tree, what is he, nineteen? Crazy. I didn’t look like that when I was nineteen.”

“Well,” Remus said as the whistle blew for an icing on the Rangers. “People are comparing him to Crosby.”

“Kuny,” Coach called. “Lupin, Nado.”

Remus’ initial thought was surprise. The shock of being put out with the second line carried him somewhat numbly over the boards beside Evgeni and Jackson. He didn’t have time to look at Sirius take his place on the bench.

“Hey,” Evgeni said, drawing them in with a glove over his mouth so the Rangers filing out of their bench couldn’t read their lips. “I take Lindgren. Loops, go fast, okay? Nado get you puck.”

“Fox,” Jackson warned.

“Sergei take care,” Evgeni said like it was obvious, and loomed towards the face-off circle.

“Left side,” Remus said to Jackson before they parted. “I’ll try to shake Kravtsov.”

“Nice,” Jackson nodded.

Remus and Kravtsov shared a nod as they lined up shoulder to shoulder on the centerline.

“Welcome to the NHL,” Kravtsov said with a slight smile.

“Thanks,” Remus replied.

Kravtsov was so young. All of these guys were so young.

He couldn’t help feeling like time had been stolen from him.

Have you ever seen this many Russian players in one NHL game, Dean? Pretty nice to see. And here’s Lupin’s first shift. Let’s go.

The puck dropped and Remus gave Kravtsov a shove, spinning out and around him. His heart seemed to press the sound out of his ears until all he could hear was his own breathing. Evgeni won the face off.

“Kuns!” Jackson shouted, and Evgeni passed it to him deep in their own zone. It drew Fox forward, just as Remus knew it was meant to, but Sergei was there for Jackson to derail the puck. Fox was forced to turn around, Kravtsov was made to press forward for a pass, and it left Remus free to shoot into their defense zone. Strome tried to cross him, but Remus spun around him. Sergei and Jackson tried to get it to him, but it left the zone. Remus swore as he pushed hard to touch up the neutral zone.

“6, 58, 86, off, Reyes, O’Hara, LeBlanc, on!”

Remus pulled back to the bench, sending Cole a nod as he hopped over the boards for his first NHL shift. Remus’ shift had been thirty seconds that felt like ten, but he was breathing hard. Finn followed Cole with a tap to his back, promptly stole the puck from Chytil, and slapped it into the corner of the Rangers’ goal.

Remus had barely taken a drink of water when the goal horn blared Gryffindor’s roar filled Hogwarts Stadium.

He punched Sirius’ side, who had his arms raised. Sirius laughed from beside him as they settled onto the bench beside each other.

“Ouch,” Sirius rubbed his padding.

“I don’t know, I got excited,” Remus laughed.

They held his gloves out for Finn to tap as he came down the line, the goal song blaring, the crowd chanting along to the catchy drumbeat.

“Nice solo, Harz,” Remus called, and Finn grinned.

“Thanks, Rookie.”

It remained pretty even through the first and second. Panarin had three good chances, the fourth sailing past Kasey’s glove. Sirius scored a dirty wrap-around just before the second’s buzzer, and Remus didn’t think he’d ever like anything more than getting the full force of Sirius’ smile as he tapped gloves down the bench line. No sooner had the final face-off of the period set up than were Evgeni and Lindgren going at it, hands gripping the back of each other’s jerseys as they dropped their gloves. Gryffindor would start the third one man up.

Remus filed back down the tunnel towards the locker room, smiling at Layla as he dropped his gloves in the bucket she was holding to be dried. He felt warm, his muscles used and a little sore. He longed for an ice bath, but he wanted to use them more too. It was the most familiar feeling in the word. He smiled against it as he sat down in his stall, laughing lightly at the way Evgeni threw a wet towel over his head.

“Not skate enough over the summer,” Evgeni groaned.

Remus looked up when a shadow fell over him and was greeted by two hands on his cheeks and a warm, familiar kiss.

“J’adore,” Sirius said.

Remus laughed, holding his wrists where his pulse still high from the game.

“Nice goal.”

“Good to be back,” James said as he pushed his jersey over his head. “Crowd sounds amazing. How you doing, Reyes?”

Cole looked up from where he was re-taping his socks. “The crowd is amazing.”

Remus felt a slap on the back from Evgeni, towel around his neck now. “Good shift, rookie.”

“Kuns,” Remus sighed, and Evgeni just laughed teasingly.

Remus felt Sirius’ eyes on him throughout the entire intermission. He knew he was curious, and had been for months, about Remus’ game routine. He’d asked and asked over the summer, but that was the thing with Remus’ superstitions—he couldn’t talk about them.

Remus took two fresh sticks from his rack and sat back down. He began wrapping it steadily.

“Of course your tape job is perfect,” Thomas sighed, shaking his head. “Of course, of course.”

Remus laughed, ripping the tape with his teeth.

“Speak for yourself,” Jackson grinned, giving his stick a twirl, the tape warped and hurried.

Remus snorted. “All I see is a fucking candy cane.”

Power play. Lindgren went into the box, slamming the door a little too hard on his way.

“Black,” Coach called as the crowd shuffled into their seats, armed with food, and Remus had been expecting that. “Tremzy, Lupin, Fox, Sunny.”

Remus blinked. He hadn’t been expecting that.

Remus hopped the boards beside Sirius, and the stadium seemed to get louder. Sirius knocked their shoulders together, and Remus didn’t doubt the cameras were on them and he tried to control his expression. He didn’t want to look too pleased, or too dopy at the feeling of skating side by side with Sirius in front of a crowd.

I think this is the moment many of us have been waiting for, Dean.

You bet! I didn’t expect it to come so soon. Coach Weasley is trying out lots of different line combos tonight. What’s pre-season for? I hear Lupin’s played on the power play a few times in practice.

Sirius put his glove up by his mouth, holding his mouth guard.

“Try the double pass?” he said quickly.

“Yeah,” Remus nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Sirius bent down across from Zibanejad and the rest of the Rangers penalty kill unit.

It happened fast. Remus was used to seeing this from the bench—but maybe that was a good thing. He saw the ice as if through a wide lens, Sirius passed to Logan, and then it was on Remus’ stick to carry up. Remus blew out a breath, pushing his legs hard ahead of Panarin. He needed to get ahead, needed to stay parallel with Sirius. He felt Panarin scrape at his heels, but then Sirius was calling his name.

Shesterkin was still up and on his feet, reading to dive whichever way.

“Loup,” Sirius called, and it was as though it was only the two of them in the basement rink. Only the crowd was different, and absolutely roaring.

Remus snapped the puck to Sirius, who passed it right back. Shesterkin went down when Remus pulled his stick back in a fake, only for him to give it back to Sirius to tap into wide open net.

Remus’ hands shot up, and the crowd screamed. Sirius all but slammed into him, wrapping him up tight against the boards.

“Re,” Sirius laughed through he words, pressing their helmets together. “Mon loup, mon loup—”

Logan crashed into them next, followed by Adam and Henrik. Remus found himself in the center of elated shouts, the fans pounding hands on the glass from the other side.

“Merde, it sounds like the playoffs,” Logan shouted, pressing a hand to Remus’ helmet.

Remus could only laugh, giddy, high on it all.

What a goal! Well, Lee, I don’t think we’re going to have to wait long to see this young man’s first regular season point.

“He fell for it,” Remus said for the tenth time as he handed Sirius the last of their dinner dishes. “Shesterkin fell for it.”

Sirius laughed and slid the dishes into the sink and turned, placing slightly damp hands on Remus’ cheeks.

“You are amazing,” he said, accent heavy and laced with a need that Remus had felt stirring in himself since getting off the ice. They’d been on the ice together today. They’d built a goal together, scored. Igor Shesterkin had fallen for their fake-out.

“I was so happy today,” Sirius whispered.

Remus closed his eyes, caught between the feeling of Sirius’ body colliding with his own in celebration, and the feeling of his warm hands here, now.

“It’s everything I’ve ever wanted,” Remus said softly, and opened his eyes, hands against Sirius’ chest.

What a terrifying, wonderful sentence.

Sirius just leaned in to kiss him, mouth tender and insistent. It was the same fire he had on the ice, leading Remus in a way that made his insides warm and his toes curl. Remus let Sirius guide him slowly up the stairs, and he relished in the way they stopped on the landing, on a half-way stair, just to be closer again, Remus’ mouth on his neck, Sirius’ against his temple. The hallway was dark, lit only by the nightlight they kept plugged in near their feet. It cast Sirius in warm angles as Remus tugged his shirt off and dropped it right there in the hallway.

“I’m not saying I’m not going to miss Regulus,” Remus said as Sirius bent to mouth gently against his neck. “But I’m not saying I’m not going to enjoy being able to undress you wherever I want now that we have the house to ourselves.”

Sirius’ laugh was soft, a little breathless. “Name your room, I’ll be there.”

Remus laughed, too. “Bedroom. Nice, soft bed.”

Sirius walked Remus backwards through the door, hands on his hips. “How do you feel? That was quite the race with Kreider in the second.”

“Good,” Remus nodded, but let Sirius’ strong hands dig into the muscles of his shoulders and back. He sighed into it, resting his cheek against his chest. “But I won’t say no to that.”

Sirius kissed Remus’ temple and worked his shirt over his head. He lay him down on the mattress and Remus closed his eyes at the feeling of Sirius’ lips against his neck, and then his shoulder.

Sirius kissed over the scar that Greyback had torn from Remus’ body all those years ago at their shared college, keeping Remus from a career in the NHL—at least until now.

“I wonder what he thinks,” Remus wondered aloud, and he didn’t have to explain himself for Sirius to know what he meant. Remus wound his fingers into Sirius dark hair as he looked up at him.

“Me too,” Sirius admitted. “And then I see red and have to stop thinking about it.”

Remus half-smiled. “Yeah…I felt bad at lunch those few weeks ago. With Cole. I really think he thought he said something wrong, and I wish I could explain but it’s still…it’s still like this weird secret, you know? Like people could find out if they really looked but no one has? And I don’t really want to bring it up but at the same time I know Fenrir has already spread lies. Saying it was a car crash or…who knows what. Sorry.” Remus pressed a hand to his face. “God, I’m completely killing the mood.”

“Re, hey,” Sirius pushed himself up onto his forearm, falling to the side and keeping their legs tangled.

“And it’s such a good mood, I just was thinking aloud.”

“You’re not. Talk to me. You can talk to me whenever.”

Remus ran his thumb over Sirius’ bottom lip. “Okay…yeah, I know that.”

“This was a big day,” Sirius said. “Huge for you. Of course you would be thinking about him. I used to think about my parents every time I stepped on the ice, even after things were getting better. I think…I think its just time. It takes time.”

“It was strange today,” Remus finally admitted. “I couldn’t…I didn’t know how close to you I could be. Out there, I mean. I’m your boyfriend, you’re mine, but we’re also teammates. There’s so much debate, about my place on the team and if you did something to get me there…I don’t know. I don’t want someone to accuse you of favoritism. You don’t deserve that.”

“We’re both,” Sirius said. “We’ll always be both. You’ll always be the boy I love. You’ll always be my teammate.” Sirius shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if we’re on the ice or not. And I don’t care if someone thinks I favor you. We both know I don’t. Not like that.”

Remus made a soft sound and pulled Sirius further on top of him, making him smile. “Love you.”

Sirius let Remus press slow kisses to his lips. “This mood feels pretty good to me.”

Remus just hushed him, tucking a hand into his waistband.

Sirius kissed him until Remus’ cheeks were hot and his cock was aching, pressed up against his sweatpants. Remus could still hear the Lions’ crowd rushing in his ears. Sirius’ palm cupped him and pushed his sweatpants down. They were both flushed and pink. Remus wanted to see those colors together.

He pulled Sirius’ hips against his own, discarding clothing until it was all bare skin. Remus ran his hands over the hard curves of his back. He had to squeeze his eyes shut, hooking his arms beneath Sirius’, holding onto his shoulders.

Their mouths found each other messily, dragging and half open in gasps.

“Sirius,” Remus breathed, voice higher than usual.

The adrenaline that Remus had thought had faded with the game only seemed to thrum brighter. Remus couldn’t help the smile the crossed his face, brows drawn together at the feeling of Sirius rutting against him.

Remus pressed his ankle gently to the back of Sirius’ knee and rolled them, drawing breathless laughs from both their mouths that he sealed away to keep like a love letter. It was soft mouths and hard hands, clutching each other closer, getting the most out of the warm friction. Remus swallowed Sirius’ gasps. His orgasm built up below his spine and Sirius seemed to read his mind. He reached between them with a hand, brushing a thumb at his base, pressing up. Remus’ hips stuttered and he fell apart, shoving hard against Sirius’ tight fist.

Sirius followed at the hot streak of Remus’ come between them, and they lay there, panting, foreheads together. Remus eased their hips back together, both of them letting out a soft moan, then a laugh, as the spent cocks brushed, drawing out the last tendrils of their orgasms.

“That feels good,” Sirius mumbled, head sunken back against the pillows.

Remus rolled his hips slowly, bringing them down, and then pulled his head up. He pushed Sirius’ sweaty hair back from his cheek and kissed it.

“Communicate to score,” Sirius mumbled.

Remus laughed hard, squeezing his eyes shut, and dropped his face into his neck to catch his breath.

“It’s true,” Sirius said, running a warm palm up and down Remus’ back. “That article we looked at.”

They’d given in and read some press over dinner, laughing at some of the more excitable writers, and grinning at each other at the more serious ones.

Magnetism, one wrote. Feels like we’ve got some mind-readers on this team, a real Crosby-Malkin, Kane-Toews one-two-punch.

“Well,” Remus said, folding his arms across Sirius’ chest. “What am I thinking now?”

Sirius pressed his lips together, pretending to think. “Is it…how to get out of golf with James and the Cubs before the ring ceremony on Tuesday?”

Remus snorted. “Well, that’s definitely on my list. But nope.” He leaned in, brushing their mouths together. “That’s not it.”

Sirius grinned, and Remus sunk into how thick and sated his accent sounded. “Is it…will my handsome boyfriend please run me a bath and make me tea?”

Remus laughed into their next kiss. “Wow, that writer was right.”

It looks…maybe like a twisted knee? What do you think, Dean? Walker is definitely not making a move to get up—oh, there’s the medic. One of the Lions’ new staff members as, of course, someone had to take Lupin’s place. Ah, Walker is pointing to his foot now.

Man, is that a grimace if I ever saw one.

It sure is, Dean.

Here comes O’Hara to help out his teammate.

They were in Madison Square Garden, the Rangers giving them one hell of a re-match. Logan skated a close perimeter towards where Thomas had gone down, just between a line change.

“Shit,” Finn skated to a stop beside him. “It’s fucking pre-season. Did you see what happened?”

Logan shook his head. “Not really. Think it was just a bad fall. Strome looks sorry.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re not jumping him right now.”

Logan’s mouth quirked up. “I have no interest in jumping Strome, thanks.” His eyes found Leo on the bench. With his hat flipped backwards, the intensity, the worry in of his blue eyes cut a clear path to Thomas.

“T,” Finn said, skating closer. “Need a hand to the room?”

Thomas winced as he made it to one knee. “Yeah, man, thanks.”

Thomas stared up at the dark ceiling from the padded PT table, listening to the game continue on the TV mounted to the corner of the ceiling. There was the X-ray pushed to the corner, his results pinned up on the light screen. Fracture. Minor, but it’d take weeks to heal. He’d miss the beginning of the season. He’d be in a suit when they lifted the Stanley Cup champion banner in the stadium. He missed Noelle.

The light flicked on so suddenly Thomas flinched.

“Walker,” said an unfamiliar voice. It was accented—Swedish, he thought. Thomas squinted at the speaker. He was tall, and dressed in the staff jacket he’d come to associate with Remus. Right. Lars.

“I…hey,” Thomas said. His eyes went to Layla, who gave a wave as she slipped in behind the man. “Hey, man, Lars, right?”

Lars gave a short nod. “Nice to meet you. So, you probably know the drill by now. Couple weeks. Aspirin will be fine for pain management.”

“Right,” Thomas nodded.

“We’ve got a boot for you here, but I’d take everything to a doctor, just for a second opinion. I’ll recommend someone,” he shrugged. “That was an unlucky hit. I’m sorry.”

Thomas blinked. He didn’t know someone could seem sweetly uninterested. He smiled hesitantly. “Thanks.”

Thomas snapped a picture of the boot once he strapped it on and sent it out complete with a frowning emoji.

He had just opened the door to the locker room, accompanied by his new crutches and to meet his victorious team, when his phone began to ring with a Facetime.

“T,” Noelle’s voice gasped. She was beautiful, her hair curling around her face. “Baby, I saw.”

“It’s not too bad,” Thomas said beneath the noise as the locker room filled up. “You look like you’re about to go somewhere, I can call back, I just wanted to…”

I’m just sad about it. It sounded lame in his own ears.

He cleared his throat. “Logan, say hi to your sister.”

Logan poked his head into the frame and stuck his tongue out, then left.

“Lolo!” Noelle shouted for the locker room to hear, and Logan groaned.

“Lolo,” Kasey imitated, grinning, and Logan shoved his mask down over his face.

“How is it?” Finn asked, wrapping an arm around him. “Hi, Noelle.”

“Fractured. Couple weeks.”

“Damn,” Finn sighed. “Sorry, T. That was an—”

“unlucky hit,” Thomas laughed. “Preach.”

“Hey, baby, we’re all heading to grab some food, but call you tonight?”

Thomas nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

He tried not to feel lonely as the screen went dark. He was in a room surrounded by people. People he loved.

It crept in anyway.

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benka79 · 3 years

Text

After Dark (We see the light)

Buddie Meta 911 503

Hello friends. Okay I told you this is gonna be a short meta bc we had just a little from Buddie at the end but it was very, very rich in visuals and body language.

Whispers: I just dissected the lockers buddie scene... 😏🔥

Just a few words about the kidnapping

I know we don't wanna talk about this ¡I don't wanna talk about this) but it was the main topic in this episode so I need to say a few words...

First of all, it was a very ugly and boring and weird way to show us this "storyline" as they described in the promo.

But let's rescue some interesting points:

-Another good neighbor helping by recording with her cellphone what was happening with Harry and his raptor. Again, neighbors saving lives just like they did in episode 502.

- Another hint to the idea that "no one is safe".

- Harry's kidnapping as a Foreshadow of Eddie being hostage in 507.

- The whole episode and the whole kidnapping process happened in the darkness. (Visual symbolism as I pointed in my previous meta here.)

- When Athena confronts Jeffrey she also makes a reference to darkness and light, and the firefam appeared illuminating the place. This is a reference about how the family they choose, the people they love, it's always there to support you and help you in bad moments too.

- When the woman asks Michael if Athena was his wife, he answers "Ex-wife", as a premonition of Eddiana break up at the end of the episode.

- The 118 unity assists a 911 call in which a man said his friend had been shot. This was a blatant reference to 413 and 414. The difference was the brachial artery.

- When the firefam goes to find Harry, we had a brief Buddie moment, again working together.

- Harry doesn't want to talk about his traumatic experience. (I talked about this in the previous metas with two characters with talking difficulties, as a Foreshadow for Harry.

- Maddie and her depression is taking relevance now that she thinks she is dangerous for her daughter. Imagine the pain she is handling thinking about this? I can't even...

The Light is Here

Time for some Buddie meta now.

First scene: the Lockers.

Buck sees Eddie coming out and smiles. This smile could mean a lot of things. But because this is a buddie meta, that smile is from someone that didn't expect find his crush still there. A nice surprise to see him again. Even when they were so many days together, you always celebrate the fact that you can have a little more of your crush, right?

Buck says he thought Eddie would be the first leaving because he had a little person waiting for him: Christopher.

The important thing here was the way Buck is talking to Eddie.

Look at him. He is smiling the whole time, eyes focused on Eddie. It reminded me that time in the kitchen. The fondness and the devotion towards Eddie are loud here. The longing, even when Buck implies "Hey Christopher is waiting for you, someone is waiting for you, that's awesome" it felt as is he wished he had that too.

But the smile, the soft gaze and even the voice he uses, is screaming Buck's yearn for Eddie.

Then we had Eddie avoiding Buck's gaze again.

Eddie had been thinking the way to break up with Ana. The seriousness in his face told us he had been thinking about it a lot. But even when he tried to find the word, he couldn't. He only stares at Buck to deliver a strong message.

When he mentions the name of Ana, sending Buck the idea of him breaking up right now, once he gets home.

The hidden message to Buck here is "Look, I'm following your advice, okay? I'm breaking up with her. I don't love her. And is happening now."

Then Eddie leaves and Buck's reaction is... priceless...

Buck is speechless. He can't believe it. First of all, because Eddie is following his advice. Eddie is not like Abby. Eddie is breaking up with her to release her. Eddie is honest. But then, he blinks nervously. Eddie breaking up with Ana means Eddie will be single again.

Remember season 4 opens with Buck saying "I don't tell people how I feel", who was these people? Well, his parents and Eddie. He even bought a book "5 languages of love" to learn how to express his feelings for Eddie. But Eddie started to date Ana, and every hint of being with him vanished. And that's why the sarcastic "What's Ana love language?" Full of Jealousy.

Now, Eddie is gonna be single again. And you can't tell me that reaction from Buck watching Eddie leave is not expressing exactly this: HOPE.

Even Athen mentions HOPE IN THE DARK in this episode.

Second scene: Honey, I'm Home

Suddenly, when the black out ends, we witnesses a continuum of parallels with people coming back home and family waiting for them. The first one is Hen, in video-call with her son. The kid is waiting for her after 5 days.

Then Athena's kids. Then Eddie having breakfast with Christopher and Ana...

And then we have Buck. And the contrast is HUGE. The writers made it blatant to show us BUCK IS ALONE. Even when he's dating Taylor, he is alone. Because Taylor is married with her job, and again, Buck is put to a side.

The irony in Buck's quote: "Honey, I'm home." Is representing his loneliness. His girlfriend is not what Buck wants for him. Buck wants to be seen (just like Norman) he wants to have what that old married gay couple had THAT'S LOVE. Buck wants his own beautiful love story. He wants a person who waits for him at home. That's why the yearn in his voice while he was talking with Eddie in the lockers. Maybe because he was imagining what wonderful would be to come back home together with Eddie and Christopher waiting for them.

This is the preamble to Buck/Taylor future break up. As I wrote in this spec post here.

So, Eddie already has the family he wants with Buck, but he doesn't know it yet, and Buck wants to have a lover who sees him for real. That person is Eddie, but he's not his lover, but his best friend. Well, not his lover yet.

Third scene: "I guess is your mess now."

Okay, we finally are in the Eddiana break up. I really felt sorry for her. Really. She was nervous at first, we can say it because her body language and the verbiage. Her body moved from side to side, trying to clean up the mess in the kitchen.

She knew what was going on. So she was the one saying it first. Eddie just added some few words about Christopher loving her, but the girl knew everything. That's why the talk was quick. There were no more words to say. She chose Spanish to say goodbye to him, because it was one of the things that they had in common, like a mechanism of defense. Then she says he is a great father. This is very important, because she knows Eddie was trying hard to fall in love with her because of Christopher.

But what caught my attention was Ana saying: "I guess it's your mess now" talking about the kitchen, but symbolizing the huge mess that will be Eddie from now on. And the mess is in the kitchen. The place in which Eddie and Buck flirted. The place in which Eddie looked at Buck so fondly as he interacted with Christopher.

That kitchen yells buddie. And it's a mess now. Because what is about to come my friends, is Eddie slowly realizing he is in love with Buck. Let's wait an see.

To Conclude:

Several storylines on the horizon, as the producers said. So we had Harry handling his post kidnapping trauma, maybe not talking about it.

Maddie and Chim story, with Maddie's depression and the seek of Maddie.

Buck's inner desire of being seen vs his relationship with a absent girlfriend.

Eddie rediscovering his sexuality through the realization of his own romantic feelings for Eddie, maybe will be expressed by a lot of Jealousy towards Taylor and some little fights over there. And Buck completely oblivious about Eddie's feelings.

Buenos Aires, October 6th 2021 9:21 AM

#buddie #buddie meta #503 #503 meta #5.03 #5x03 #911 #911 meta #evan buck buckley #eddie diaz #ana flores #taylor kelly #athena grant #harry grant #maddie buckley #chimney han

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mjsparkour · 3 years

Note

Okay, I asked you a while back for some fic recs and I am in need of more. Have you read any Gina x Ricky lately? Would love for you to share the ones you've loved

Hey!

I’m so glad you liked my rec the last time, there have been alot of fics that have been written since you last asked so this list was super hard to limit. There are alot in this list alone (17 overall I think). I could always recommend more, Rina writers are just so talented. So here's a list of some of my favorites <3

The Story of Us by peculiarblue

‘gina learns that sometimes things have to fall apart so that they can fall back together, right where they were always meant to be’ This is a complete 2 part chapter fic

Thee Rina bible. It’s everything we could ever want and need. Everything we want s2 to be and more. It’s an absolute masterpiece in every way. So many parts where I nearly died, the angst in the fight scene, the tension before they made up (the dress scene that reminded me so much of that amylaurie scene I lost my mind a little more), them being absolutely gone for each other!!! it’s just perfect in every way.

When Your With Me and Were Alone by orphan account

‘Ricky Bowen remembers everything.’ This is a one-shot three-part completed series.

My favorite series, it’s gotta be. It’s the first of its kind for rina fics. Lore does an incredible job of realistically writing rina’s characterization and reactions to Gina moving and what would happen after. A wonderfully talented writer, utilizing the power of her words while minimalist carries an effect.

You Know Me Better by This_is_Riri

‘Gina was moving. This would be her sixth move in seven years. She was used to it by now...only this time, it felt different. Post episode 7.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

This one really gets you at your gut. Heart-wrenching for both characters but mainly gina. The vents that happen to both characters, it just makes sense that so much more than their vunerabilities bonds them together. Perfect execution of the mutual understanding trope.

and I know I’ve kissed you before by ptrprkrs

‘but I didn’t do it right / can i try again, try again, try again? or: 5 times ricky kisses gina + 1 time she kisses back’ This is a complete one-shot.

I love a good five times plus one fic. This one is heartwarming, cheeky and cute. It gives a healthy balance of the inevitable anguish that comes with pining (and not just for the character but for frustrated readers that just wanna put these kids together already) but also the sweet innocence and fluff from first love (or first love adjacent).

what love might have done by rradioh

‘Ricky follows his gut. Everything changes. Some things stay the same.’ This is a completed one shot.

A good look into what could've been for season one. Reflecting moments that felt like they could’ve easily been placed in the show and showed the subtly of the growth of rinas relationship. It wasn’t something that was thrown into our faces but came gradually and this fic facilitates that growth with key moments that add to that. A Great one-shot.

And the 7th Thing I Hate The Most That You Do (You Make Me Love You) by iknowpIaces

‘It doesn’t help that he really does look good in his costume. God, she hates him. She hates him. She hates him. Then, he has the nerve to smile at her. And Gina hates how that smile alone sends her over the moon.’ This is a completed one shot.

SOOOO GOOD. No one understands, I love the trope where one person has a crush on the other and it's unrequited (or it seems that way) but eventually it's apparent that they're also just as gone for that person as soon as they start moving on, or feeling fine with having their feelings not reciprocated. Then they're both just mutual pining messes, ugh I love it. This fic handles the trope with care and rina just comes together organically.

lesson in love by finelineholland

“Give me 4 weeks. I’ll help you out. Like… a crash course, if you will. 'How to be the perfect boyfriend for Nini Salazar-Roberts': A class taught by yours truly.” This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

A rom-com in the form of a fic. It’s so true to Ricky and Gina as characters and their dynamic. The writing is really good and gives so much in terms of plot. I really hope it updates soon because I love a good makeover/transformation fic, it gives she’s all that and geek charming in the best ways.

take me to the feeling by peculiarblue

‘gina meets a stranger at a party she doesn't want to be at, and let's herself fall in love for the night, wherever it takes them’ This is a completed one shot.

Katie does it again. Another classic that makes us fall for rina while they fall for each other under the stars. You can’t help but feel something for them right off the bat because theirs something about the cheekiness of the dynamic and so real. You can’t help but fall for them, a must read.

The Last Time by mytearsricochet

‘this is the one where gina meets ricky and nothing is against them. except for a few misunderstandings, forgotten birthdays, wrong people, and missed opportunities. because as much as love doesn’t care about time, this is the one where time cares about love. and with time, everything falls into place.’ This is a completed one shot.

SO UNBELIAVBLEY UNDERRATED. This fic is too excellent, it's everything rinas could want. it’s an incredibly well done long slowburn that makes you strap in for the ride. With all those teasing moments where they're mutually pining and they're just on the precipice of finding out their feelings for one another only to hold back and stay friends (until the end of course). The end makes you work for it, but so worth it when you get to it.

10 Days in “Love” by kindredspiritsxo

‘It was almost the end of high school and nobody had it figured out. Especially Ricky Bowen. His parents had recently divorced, he had no idea what he's doing for college, his longtime girlfriend dumped him the month before and now he's been replaced by one of the most popular guys in school.

To make matters worse, he leaves for Europe in two days for his senior trip. The same senior trip that said ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend were going on. So, Ricky did what any desperate teenage boy would do to try and get his girlfriend back: he devised a plan. A plan that included the help of Gina Porter and playing pretend for 10 days.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

I love a good traveling fic. Sometimes all it takes to get a character to wake up about things going on in their lives or feelings for character b is a good change of scenery. This fic does a great job of utilizing the enviornment to facilitate rinas love story through one of my favorite tropes, the fake dating trope. There's some angst along the way because nothing can ever come easy but it's not without its reward. It gives me major spiderman far from home vibes just solely because of petermjs adorableness and how that energy kinda translates to rina in this fic more so in the beginning before they have this repertoire.

on the line by peculiarblue

‘with everything in her life finally at a stand still for once the last thing gina needs is one curly haired skater to come in and give her a reason to change again

(or, gina lets ricky back into her life the only way she knows how, at a distance, through daily voicemails, until her heart remembers why she can't love him anymore.)’ This is a completed one shot.

It hurts in the best way possible! that is the best way to describe this fic. Were taken on a journey where I personally wanted rina to just talk to each other in person but the magic was all in the voicemails and the power of their connection. There was a satisfying ending, I couldn't ask for more. If you haven’t read literally everything written by Katie go read it, it won't disappoint.

but everywhere just brings me back to you by ptrprkrs

‘or, ricky is just a little in love with the voice of the girl at the starbucks drive-thru’ This is a completed one shot.

An amazing fic that hits every spot effortlessly, even the ones you didn’t know you had. Like Ricky being a lovesick puppy going to a drive-thru just to hear Gina’s voice for coffee, he doesn’t drink or like. All the while they’d been connected all along. I’m a sucker for any kind of soulmate implications or stories where people are unknowingly connected like that so this ones a real favorite for me. It’s sweet, lighthearted and funny and a great read.

About Love by goldenthread

‘a series of Interconnected one shots and canonical aus for Ricky and Gina <3.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

Here's where I enter some shameless self-promo...I wrote this recently. It’s just some loosely connected one-shots I have of rina based on canon. I write about an alternate first meeting, what would've happened if Gina had to understudy Nini in a rehearsal and (for a future chapter) a babysitting au (for what happened when Gina actually told Ricky the truth, she was babysitting her neighbor's kid when she talked to him at the skatepark). Check it out if it sounds like your thing!

in your eyes by finelineholland

‘you always try to hide the pain, you always know just what to say. i always look the other way. i'm blind, i'm blind. in you eyes, you lie, but i don't let it define you.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

There is something about Rina being written about from an outside perspective that is just so excellent. The story starting with Nini noting the obvious chemistry and their connection and being threatened by it, I don’t know it's just so pleasing to me. Another fic like that one of my favorites (one that I’m pretty sure I’ve suggested in my other rec list), pretend i don’t see it in your eyes by spobylol. Another absolutely excellent read that does not miss once. This story in contrast also writes from rina’s perspective as well which I also thought was well done.

right from the start I knew by anonymous

‘“Uh.” Ricky really didn’t think this far ahead. To be fair, it’s not like he’s ever thought ahead about anything ever in his life, so this is really to be expected. “We - forget about it? Maybe. Or like - I don’t know. I think I have to figure out how to be like - a person right now. By myself.”

“Same.” Gina says absently. “I’ve spent what feels like my whole life thinking about what other people think of me. It’d be nice to - to be able to try looking beyond that for a change.”

Post-Season 1. Ricky and Nini break up, but that doesn't mean things work out right away.’ This is a completed one shot.

The most iconic love confession I’ve read in a rina fic to date. it’s just so good, a certified rush every single time. The mutual pining hits spectacularly especially when you see just how soon it starts to hit Ricky that he’d made a mistake getting with Nini and him paying for that mistake. The writing only amplifies it. Also Ricky telling Gina he’s obsessed with her? yeah, I automatically added this fic to my list of faves.

If they only knew by goldenthread

‘Ricky Bowen never really bought into the whole soulmate thing (except he did) but life got in the way and now he's sort of pretending to date new (totally not intimidating) girl Gina Porter to win back the one and only Nini Salazar Roberts. Not a single thing could go wrong.

The one where Ricky and Gina aren't so good at the whole soulmate thing and they fake date.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

More shameless self promo, sorry y’all but I’m super proud of this one. It’s a soulmate and fake dating au, combining two of my fave tropes into one to make this (surprisingly) long fic. It’s a whirlwind of emotions and a lot of moving parts in the story. I plan on updating within two months then after that there's three more chapters until its finished :) hope y’all enjoy it if you decide to give it a read!

you are the best thing & the worst thing (that’s happened to me this whole year) by tophsgf

‘Gina's roommate Nini is unbearable. What's more unbearable, however? Her very charismatic and totally off-limits sort-of boyfriend.’ This is a completed one shot.

An amazing fic, I need more people to know about it! I really like fics where the development between Ricky and Gina is gradual, which seems to be the case for a lot of fics but for this one in particular I like its execution. Obviously, at first, he’s with Nini so it’s like the dynamic is at a point of comparison from the start but we quickly learn that thanks to good ole mutual understanding and overall compatibility Ricky and Gina are just right for each other. A fun read that hits all the bases.

#rina #ricky x gina #ricky bowen #gina porter #hsm #hsmtmts #high school musical #high school musical the musical the series #nini salazar roberts #rini #rina fanfic #rina fanfiction #rina fics #gina x ricky #disneyplus #disney

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99liners · 3 years

Note

Hi, I hope you are having a good day dear:23,26,32:))

i am having a good day, thank you bb. i hope you are staying hydrated and keeping warm <3 also, thanks for the questions.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

time to do some shameless self-promo.

i think i am very fond of wonderwall / jjk, spoiled / hrj, redamancy / jjh, balter / shs.

one (1) piece of work that i am extremely fond of is the dreaded neighbors series. it is probably the only work that i have read multiple times when i don't even read my works after posting.

idk, maybe it's the fact that my portrayal of jimin's character reminds me of a lot of scenes from "in the soop" and i haven't even watched any of the seasons from the series (i am planning to watch it soon once i am free). whenever i see some video snippet of any episode featuring jimin from 'in the soop' online (especially the new pictures of him sleeping in a weird ass position, taking up half the bed lol), it reminds me of dn!jimin and just, my heart swells up like a 100 times and also, i am hopelessly in love with this guy.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

titling fics is so much harder than writing the fics, omg. i usually write the stories first and then start looking for words / phrases / song lyrics etc, which can summarise the plot. these days, i am thinking of titling fics like classical music pieces xD

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

i do listen to music, i usually just listen to my playlists, i don't have a specific genre, band or playlist to write. sometimes i listen to stories podcasts. we have this bengali radio channel who do the narration of classic bengali stories and it's amazing. other times, i usually have some sitcom (that i have already watched) playing which works as static background sound.

this ask is part of fandom questions.

#asks #anon #jaim plays #askjaim #jungkook x reader #renjun x reader #wonho x reader #jaehyun x reader #jimin x reader #kpop scenarios #bts scenarios #nct scenarios #monsta x scenarios #wonho scenarios

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notanacousticsetcal · 4 years

Text

he loves me... - calum hood

summary - a reflection of reader and calum’s relationship told through the classic game “he loves me, he loves me not.”

warnings - some arguing

word count - 1k

a/n - congratulations to my baby on superbloom. i wish i could tell him how insanely proud i am. i randomly got inspiration for this from a flower and here it is. hope you guys like it :)

The flowers in the backyard were swaying in the warm summer afternoon breeze and you felt yourself drifting towards them with the wind, sitting down, feet tucked under you.

Plucking one from the ground between your fingertips, you raised it to your noise and inhaled deeply. The sweet perfume of the Gardenias reminded you of your childhood, playing outside with the neighbor kids, concrete kissed knees, sun kissed skin, the sound of the ice cream truck.

You felt yourself lulling into a sense of calm serenity.

You thought about that silly game you used to play with your friends on the playground. He loves me, he loves me not.

You feel the soft, veiny petal of the flower between your fingers, staring at it thoughtfully, before plucking it from the stem. “He loves me...”

You stood on your tippy toes, hooking the last ornament over the tall Christmas tree, and turned to Calum, beaming. “We did it.”

He smiled fondly, repeating your proud statement. “We did it.” He stepped over, closing the distance between you, and brushed the lose hairs on your forehead behind your ear.

His hand moved to rest comfortably on your neck and you raised yours to wrap around his wrist. You nuzzled your cheek into his touch.

His other hand dropped to grip your waist, tugging you into him. He could feel your heart beating quickly.

His forehead dropped down, resting comfortably atop yours. His warm breath fanned over your nose, smelling of peppermint.

The next petal was impossibly softer. With another pluck, it was falling to the lush grass. “He loves me not...”

“You can’t just drop this on me now,” You practically shout, biting back the tears burning your throat.

“This is my job. This is my life. I have to go.” Calum followed you into the bedroom.

“I know I signed on for tours. I signed on for promo. I signed on for meetings and very little time with you. And I get this is a big opportunity for you, but what about me? Can I really be in a relationship if I only see my boyfriend once a month at best?” You couldnt stop the tears from falling at this point. Your breathing became more erratic as you realized where this conversation might be going.

Calum almost flinched at your words. “You can’t mean that.” His hurt is quickly replaced by anger. “Are you giving me a fucking ultimatum?”

The bitterness in his tone took you by surprise. Calum rarely raises his voice and virtually never got this upset with you. Hating his anger and hating this argument and hating that you were upset and couldn’t run to the person who always gave you the best advice — because he’s the person you wanted to run from — you stood up, tugging on the nearest pair of shoes.

“(Y/n), where the fuck are you going? You can’t just fucking leave when things get hard.” Cal shouted after you as you pulled on a jacket. You grabbed your keys and began to twist the door handle.

“Isn’t that what you’re doing? Leaving?”

“If you leave now, we’re done.”

You stopped in your tracks, turning to look at the man you loved.

Your love for him is what made your next move so hard.

You pulled the door handle and walked out, leaving a shocked and distraught Calum in the abandoned apartment behind you.

That memory tugged at your heart, so you continued on. The next petal was a bit darker than the last. Pluck. “He loves me...”

“Calum, my fingers don’t bend that way.” He laughed, placing a kiss on the tip of your nose.

“If I can do it, so can you.” Calum repositioned you on his lap, reaching over to guide your fingers to a new chord on the guitar. “Try this one, baby.”

You held your fingers down on the strings where he told you to and strummed downwards, producing a very strangled sounding C chord. You frowned. “I suck, don’t I.”

He rested his chin on your shoulder and brushed your hair off your neck so he could kiss you, then returned to his position on your shoulder to stare up at you fondly. “You don’t suck, you’re doing great.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “You don’t have to lie.”

He laughed and moved your hand back to the strings. “I’m not lying, this is your first lesson, my love. It takes practice.” He gently shifted your fingers back to their marks to produce a C chord and adjusted the position of your fingertips slightly to help produce a crisper and less muffled sound. You strummed and the product was a lot clearer. You gasped. “Did I do that?”

He chuckled. “You did that.” You leaned your head back on his shoulder, turning to face him.

“Why do you put up with me?” You asked playfully. You reached up to run a hand through his hair.

“What kind of question is that? You’re the only thing I think about.”

You smiled at the memory and began to twirl the stem of the flower in your fingers.

The screen door creaked behind you and you turned. Calum stepped onto the patio in some cotton shorts and a tshirt, a soft smile on his face. “There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

You smiled. “Here I am.”

He stepped out into the grass and crouched down beside you. “Are you alright?”

You set the flower down, bringing your knees up to your chest. “I’m alright.” Calum’s fluffy hair looked inviting so you reached out a hand to run through it. His eyes began to lull at the sensation. “Come sit with me,” you said quietly.

He laid down beside you, stretching his arms back behind his head and yawning.

“Whats with the dying flower?”

“I was in the middle of figuring out if you love me or not.” You lifted up the half-plucked Gardenia and set it aside so you could lay down beside Calum.

“Hm. Well, I’m here now. Why don’t you ask me?”

You laid your head back onto the grass, gazing up at the cloudless blue sky. “Do you love me, Calum?”

“I love you. Very much.” He pulled you gently onto his chest and you laid there together under the sun, the sweet smell of Gardenias reminding you now of both your childhood and your love for Calum Hood.

He loves me.

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shyanshippingsociety · 3 years

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Shyan Shipping Society Fic Promo - October 1 to October 8

last week

hello friends! it's been a super productive week in the server and i'm so happy to bring you another round of fics! let's a'go!

September 25

Haunt Me by QueenBoo | NR, 2K, complete

Shane and Ryan have rather unique ways of communicating with each other, they make it work.

A short oneshot written for the Shyan Shipping Societies Daily Prompt: Shane and Ryan sharing PJs! Are they having a sleepover? Is one of them chilly?

October 1

Spider crown by wednesday_ukiru | T, 900, complete

Ryan plans a movie night, and it has a little surprise for Shane.

October 3

How to Befriend the Monster in Your Closet by Golden4278 | G, 129K, ongoing

Ryan: Hi God, it’s me again. I just moved to LA and I’m really lonely. I need someone to be my friend, someone who understands me. Maybe… you could send me an angel? Yeah! The nicest angel you have.

Demon Shane: *LAUGHS MANIACALLY*

October 4

tonight you belong to me by ohthankyoubaby | M, 4K, ongoing

The boys manage to make it to town but don't receive the warm welcome they were hoping for.

i will see your body bare (and still i will live here) by ohthankyoubaby | T, 2K, complete

Following the events at the Old City Jail, Shane has to figure out the best way to comfort an anxiety-riddled Ryan.

“You’re gonna fuckin’ make fun of me,” he mumbled, punctuating it with a sniffle.

It hurt a little bit, the idea that Ryan thought he would make fun of him when he was clearly so torn up. He really screwed up somewhere.

October 5

Say that you love me by wednesday_ukiru | T, 1K, complete

Ryan catches a cold and Shane brings him some potions to help him feel better. But there's a side effect to them.

Wristwatch by wednesday_ukiru | T, 600, complete

When Shane dies, his wristwatch stops.

October 7

Is that a machete in your pants or are you just happy to see me? by Flame0515 | G, 1K, complete

“So what’s your favorite horror movie?” “How am I supposed to pick just one? That’s too broad, choose a subgenre.” Ryan insists, staring down at his hands, noticing how big his neighbor’s hands are compared to his own. Said neighbor gives a breathy laugh, “Fine. Um, how about psychological horror?” “Mm.. It Follows is pretty good. Love a good freaky virus… probably could have phrased that better.” “Maybe.

An apartment building meet-cute that takes place on Halloween.

if you want to read some more fics, you can always check out our ao3 collection!

see you next week! ♡

#mod isaac #fic promo #shyan shipping society #shyan #skeptic believer #watcher after dark #buzzfeed after dark #buzzfeed unclean

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what-do-1000-swords-look-like · 3 years

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So I have to just talk about this episode for a second and how out of sorts it felt to me. I have a lot of feelings and I just need to get them out and throw them into the void. I still have my rewatches to do, of course, but I truly am trying to connect some of these events to the characters' overall stories and basic logic.

Let me just start out with I think we're in a very good place with Buddie. But everything outside of that? Whoa.

I'm not saying the episode was bad. It was meant to be intense, a closeup to the chaos arc, and a lot was going on. But did anyone else feel like some things were...not fitting well? The resolution we got to Athena's situation with Hudson and of course thankfully Harry is safe, it all played out well I thought. Though the circumstances around it felt a bit odd to me.

For example, Michael who was married to Athena for such a long time knows she's not going to wait at home, but didn't once think that during a blackout, it might be a good idea to keep track of who is walking in the front door? I get it, be helpful to your neighbors, a very nice thing to do, but how do you know someone walking around the neighborhood won't take advantage of that fact? And not even in the whole they'll eat your food or possibly knock off something kind of way but in a this-person-could-be-potentially-dangerous-to-everyone kind of way. That felt like an odd choice of common sense to not only have Michael being dismissive of but to then call attention to it twice, once of Harry being the one to call Hudson out on not knowing who he is and then showing Hudson helping himself to a drink while Michael and David are having a drink in the background, laughing and talking, only paying attention to each other. And then to have Michael turning around and getting angry at Athena for not telling him that Hudson was on the loose (when she only figured out mere minutes beforehand that she might be a target) so he would have been on the lookout and wouldn't have let their neighbors in...it just felt so off to me. Not that parents wouldn't snap at each other in that situation, not that Michael wouldn't feel guilty and was probably lashing out, but I don't know how else to put it, it just felt off. The only thing I can think of is that due to the writer being Kristen Reidell is that this situation will be revisited at some point with Harry and Michael.

Then you have Maddie's disappearing act. I get that JLH is taking time for her family behind the scenes but I guess I'm a little confuzzled as to why they chose to do it this way? What was wrong with Maddie being checked into a treatment center to get the help she needs? And when I say being checked into, I mean her checking herself in. Leaving Jee-Yun at the station with Ravi and taking off, not even talking directly to Chimney (I get it, his phone was dead, but still) or Buck, that just feels incredibly off. And her leaving like that is really off for her character. I get it, she is suffering from PPD, but still. It would have been a more positive message I think to have her check herself into a treatment center, with the support of Chimney and Buck and those who love her, rather than have her dump the baby at the firestation and run. I'm sure the writers have a plan and I do trust in it, but I do wish they had thought about the message choosing that action sends. This isn't the 50's, there are multiple resources to help mothers suffering from PPD. But ever since it was confirmed Maddie had PPD, it kind of felt like we were back in the 50's and no one talks about it. I just didn't care for the way that was handled if I'm being completely honest.

Eddie and Ana's breakup. While I'm not too broken up over this, no pun intended, I did find their handling of it to be a bit odd. Don't get me wrong, it was a very good scene for Eddie and it was more emotional than I expected it to be (I think some of us have been where Ana was in a relationship and can be somewhat empathetic to her plight), but Eddie not talking to Christopher? Us not seeing Ana saying goodbye to Christopher? It's almost as if Christopher got relegated to the background. I mean, I get it, this was about Eddie and his relationship with Ana, and of course he threw up the Christopher shield again. "Chris loves you so much." But to have Christopher there in the beginning, to have Eddie say that to Ana in front of Christopher but then try to back track, then to move right in for the kill after closing the door, I don't know man, it just felt off to me. It was good to see Eddie make his decision, a decision we all saw coming to be quite frank. But the way it did, I don't know, it just felt extremely off.

Buck and Maddie - where tf did this sibling relationship go? Like seriously. We never saw a phone call or a text (which didn't require both actors to shoot) when Eddie got shot. We only see Maddie interacting with Chim about it. Then we never see Buck finding out about her PPD (that we know of). During the chaos, Buck never even asks about her (that I can remember). The only mention we get of Jee-Yun is during the power czar scene in 5x02. I get it, Buck is in a new relationship, but as we've seen so far, it's not all it's cracked up to be and he's not twitterpated so to speak. He still has a life outside of Taylor and vice versa. So wtf? (this is why I usually binge everything once it's aired btw for all other shows, I can't watch some of these live but I couldn't wait, I needed to know how my 911 faves are doing!!!)

The only thing I can think is that we've seen Bobby's earthquake (I think it really hit this episode with Harry's kidnapping and Athena's standoff with Hudson), Chim's bombs hitting (with Maddie running off), and some of Eddie's mudslide (I have a feeling that there may be a reaction from Christopher, maybe not a strong one, but something after this episode, especially since we didn't see Chris' reaction this one or Eddie even talking to him about it). The only people we're still waiting on is Hen's having an emergency (which if people's predictions for 5x07 are right, then there you go) and Buck's tsunami. This is truly going to be the season that shakes this team up. The ransomware attack and blackout may be over but I don't think the chaos is if I'm being honest. Not in our characters' arcs for this season.

Even though Buck's reaction to Chim in the promo for 5x04 about Maddie is hurting my heart, I'm hoping Chim tells him then and that snaps things into perspective really quick. And of course, I'm looking forward to more Uncle Buck time. <3

#i'm just having thoughts #and they're very loud #911 5x03 #911: desperate measures #eddie and ana mention #michael and harry mention #madney mention

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magnumdays · 4 years

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Magnum PI 3.07 - Killer on the Midnight Watch

I going to start off with not anything super episode related but just a random thing I thought about...

I love how on TV shows when someone is supposed to be looking tired and like they haven’t slept well for a while we get this...

them drinking coffee

and then the character in question yawning...

All while looking devastatingly hot (as usual!)

It’s not just me right??? Or am I’m supposed to be seeing anything other than one fine Thomas Magnum?? I don’t mind because a decent percentage of why I’m watching is to see my babies looking fine, I’m just saying when I haven’t slept well in ONE night much less multiple nights, well...I look like a truck ran me down or something.

Also OMG Magnum having a nightmare and us actually getting to see it!!! Why do I love it so much? Maybe because, we got delicious, sweaty, little hair curl newly woken up Thomas Magnum goodness for 2 seconds? (This for me always means it’s going to be a good day...)

Anyhow, as per usual for season 3, this episode was a total hit with me. I loved that we got some Jin and that he’s actually growing and changing his ways for real (also NSSM!! I’m gonna start using that!), the case was actually totally great this week! Like I was sure the guy was actually shady somehow but as it turned out he was a good guy and even if the take down in the end with Higgy tracking them on her computer in like ONE minute was not very realistic (when is it ever with hacking on TV though?) I really liked it!

I got all my favorite bits, plenty of Ferrari time, scenery porn, plenty of my babies looking fine together, Jin’s side plot with his NSSM, Rick and TC just being awesome and hanging around, light Miggy banter, the CLOSET scene, Gordon being a little bit more involved yet not being annoyed with Magnum and a happy ending with them finding the trafficking victims. Plus some more banter when Higgy comes to the rescue and (possibly?) saves Magnum’s life...

Other than the fact that we get very little Miggy - other than um...the closet... (And Higgy being concerned and knowing he was awake at four in the morning and actually spending that time checking to see if the lights are on or not in the guest house? I mean maybe she could have just accidentally been looking out the window but if we’re being honest, who looks out the window at four in the morning unless they’re actually checking for something? I know I sure don’t...but then again my next door ‘neighbor’ isn’t Thomas Magnum...)

But let’s go back to the closet!

Did someone fall into my fan fic trash can while writing this season and had to promise the trash-can monster to use some of my discarded ideas or what? I feel like this was legit something I wrote but it was just too much and I decided not to use it!!

We legit have Magnum and Higgy in a closet hiding from a bad guy. With her even basically having to rest her chin on his freaking shoulder they’re that close together.

Not only that: we get this piece of dialogue

Magnum: Grab my cell, it’s in my back pocket.

Higgins: Of course it is *proceeds to get it from his pocket*

Magnum: Easy, the other one!

So groping confirmed?

Seriously, I did not even put this in a fic and here it is, in canon!! I just can’t! Even though I knew closet scene was coming from the promo I’m still not sure it actually happened. Still even the closet did lack a little bit of Miggy feels for me.

As for Higgy...well she’s all bright eyed and bush-y tailed in this episode and we get several very sweet moments with her! She tells Magnum they’re gonna figure it out together, that they should take the case even though they might be crying wolf because she believes them, looks surprised Gordon is actually being dismissive of the Neighborhood Watch guys and just all around... I don’t know, I feel like she was kinda soft in this episode.

I love that someone also remembered she speaks Mandarin! Like go team! Some continuity! And she got to talk the trafficked woman down at the end, I really liked that, it was a bit different from the normal bam-bam-shoot-shoot ending of case/ busts we get! The whole “His life is over, and the second you put the gun down yours can begin,” thing feels like something she would have wished someone (Magnum) might have told her when she was about to shoot Viper back in season 1.

I found the team up of our three musketeers for this episode pleasant too, like they’re finding different ways to include Katsumoto in episodes.

I’m a little bit all over with this review this week which I feel is unfair to the episode because it was a pretty tight episode. I kind of thought it would be more of a filler but it really didn’t feel like that even though we didn’t get very many big character moments. IDK, I was just intrigued and happy to along for the ride!

Next weeks episode looks interesting... Ethan must be on the way out with him and Higgy being so nauseatingly ‘together’ and happy though. Because that’s how TV works...no one gets to be happy for long!

#magnum pi #magnum pi 3.07 #Thomas Magnum #Juliet Higgins #my review #Miggy sitting in a closet #Miggy

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zerachielamora · 3 years

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hi, i’d like to share a possible theory about lof2 with you since you are probably the person who knows the most about this game ahah. the other day i was thinking about the fact that lily died and james was so desperate that with the help of the rat queen he brought her back in his own body. now, james never pretend to be lily since the two siblings shared the same body, so that mean that also lily made a path with the rat queen? like she knows what is happening and she’s also fighting to not “destroying” her “part”, she wants to be alive. i don’t know if i am over analyzing but it just make sense to me if actually lily met the rat queen too. like she wanted to be an actress not james, so i’m starting to think that it was not james who was following her sister steps, but it was actually her. she was the one who was capable of not breaking the character, not james. lily is stronger than him. and also the fact that rat queen met james even before lily died it’s kinda suspicious, right? and we can also understand that she (the rq) doesn’t really have a favorite, like she just want that one sibling take over the other while the director is trying to tell james to get rid of her sister. i wonder why, who is the director. what if he was helping james and testing lily. i feel like it was lily the artist chosen by the queen and not james. also in layers of fear inheritance at the end we can see that the painter painted her daughter with a lily in her hand. it has to mean something. and also the fact that at the beginning of lof2 we see a cabin probably owned by him. idk. i see a lot of people that actually agree with the fact that both lily and james share the same body but then only referring to james and i don’t understand why ahah like lily is alive!!!! i know, i wrote a lot and i’m sorry but i’m going insane trying to understand this game and i don’t have anyone to talk to. i hope it’s understandable ahahha if it’s not clear please let me know!!! i hope you have a nice day :) (my tumblr is giving me problems, i’m sorry if you received this message multiple times)

Thank you for sharing your theory, it’s very fascinating!

My take is that it’s very possible when James took Lily into himself that she learned of the Rat Queen through him. I mostly believe it was James trying to follow in Lily’s steps because it every kind of mention of the Actor, promo and whatnot, they are referred to as a he. Not to mention the existence of the Formless Man, which is a representative of the indecisiveness and improper growth of James from having his sister’s soul within him as well. But you could definitely make the argument that in the Lily route of the game, Lily is slowly overcoming him, guiding his movements and making his choices until she completely takes over. I also get frustrated though in main talks about the game where it’s only mentioned about James - you can be Lily in one ending after all haha - and honestly the Lily ending is my favorite one.

The Director’s identity is an entire can of worms I haven’t been able to decipher yet myself. I’ve considered a ton of theories about him in depth with no meaningful conclusion. One possibility I entertained was the idea that he and the Rat Queen were opposing deities who were fighting over who was going to win in the case of the Actor’s identity. It does seem the Rat Queen doesn’t really have a preference as to which sibling wins, though if she’s such a fan of good art and the like, it could be that she secretly wishes Lily would win. Why the Director wants James to win, I can only guess, but maybe it’s because he seems more easy to manipulate, whereas Lily is a free spirit who does her own thing.

I have wondered if there’s a connection between the Director and the strange man who interviews James a child in those recordings. That guy is also a complete mystery to me.As for the daughter’s portrait in Inheritance holding a lily while there’s a character in the next game called Lily - that is VERY intriguing. Especially because the Actor’s childhood home has the first floor looking just like the first floor of the house from the first game. I wondered if this meant that the two families were neighbors and perhaps knew one another casually, but of course there’s no evidence to back me up on that one.

Is it possible that the Rat Queen, after having dealt with the painter’s family, thus learned of the Actor’s family, and moved onto them? Could be.

#ask box #layers of fear 2 opens up so many questions with so little answers #didn't even touch on the mystery objects where Idek where to begin #anon

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royallyprincesslilly · 5 years

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Title: Love, Maybe? {36}**

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Fluff, Angst, Slow Burn, Tease, NSFW, SMUT

Word Count: 6.3K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

NOTE: **Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought. Recommended listening when indicated by the musical note 🎵: 1st: Pssy & Wine by: Mike Champion and 2nd: All On Me by: Sean Paul

**Loosley Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive***

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 36: Seize The Day

-Vixen-

Singing along to the sounds of Lauryn Hill’s version of Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You, you danced around and finished preparing breakfast. This was one of your favorite songs and today you were feeling it.

“Oh pretty baby, don’t let me down I pray.”

You rocked your hips and used the tongs as a microphone and hit the high note as you turned to see Chris leaning against the wall with a smile on his face.

“Shit!”

“Wow, serenade and breakfast.” You pinched your lips and turned back to the stove to finish the sausages to hide your embarrassment.

“Morning.” You felt him wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek then your neck.

“Good morning,” you whispered with a smile.

“Mmm, it smells great, it’s been quite a while since anyone made me breakfast,” Chris added.

“Liar, I’ve made breakfast almost every morning since we’ve been in Boston.”

He smiled and turned you to him. “Wow, liar is a bit harsh. Take it back.” You smiled and shook your head.

“Nope. You take it back. I’ve been feeding you well.” his smile was wide as he dropped his lips to your collar.

“Oh yes you have, very, very well,” he answered placing kisses across your collar and chest. You moaned and quickly got lost. His lips felt amazing. Before you knew it he was stooped before you and kissing your stomach and quickly making his way to the apex of your thighs. His tongue was a weapon and he knew just how to use it.

You groaned and enjoyed the pleasure he gave before you remembered the plan for the day.

“Mmm, Chris. Stop.” As soon as the words were said he pulled away from you.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay, nothing like that. I just have a shoot to get to,” you explained.

“A shoot?”

“Yes, because I had to come here for work, Kassius rearranged the promo shoot for here. I have to be there in an hour which means we only have time to eat and go.”

“Oh, okay. What’s for breakfast?”

“Uh, waffles, sausages, some fruit, and chive scrambled eggs. Don’t tell anyone I stole some ingredients last night.” His smile was perfect, you loved it. Pushing it to the side you put a plate in front of him on the counter.

“Thank you.” You hopped onto the counter beside him and began eating.

It was interesting how all this felt as natural as breathing like you’ve been doing this for the last three years and no time had passed at all. You wondered what he thought of your life here. You knew bringing him here would mean he’d see the restaurant, see the house and it would be like confirmation that you’d led this life without him, on purpose. You wondered if he was angry and was hiding it.

Last night there was no anger in him. He was gentle and amazing, everything you’d remembered him to be. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel anything last night. How could you not especially with that song playing? Occasionally you listened to it when you couldn’t sleep and now he knew it, he knew just how much you thought about Vegas and him. you didn’t feel embarrassed then to tell him the truth, but now you felt exposed and you hated it.

After breakfast, you went into the shower and used it to get your thoughts and emotions under control. It was quite the feat because you were everywhere but after almost forty minutes you managed. When you met him in the foyer he was dressed and ready for the day. The two of you got into the rental car and drove through the city to the address of the shoot. He asked plenty of questions about the area when you pointed out Ella’s preschool he had a lot more of them. His interest in your life made you feel good.

When you arrived at the location of the shoot it was time to get to work. The photographer and one of the guys from the team were there to convey just the look Kassius wanted to achieve. You listened in and corrected them when you heard something that just wasn’t you. You wanted to remain true to who you were and not give in to this fake image, you weren’t Hollywood and you would never pretend to be.

The first look was your chef’s and kitchen attire that you’d chosen for the new restaurant, complete with a chef’s hat. You smiled for the pictures and tried to listen to the instruction for poses but you felt so out of place, so awkward that you were sure that it was coming through in the photos.

“Okay Vixen, how about you do some poses you normally do in the kitchen,” Albee the photographer suggested.

“Uh, poses in a kitchen? I don’t pose in my kitchen. I cook,” you announced. Those around smiled.

“Fair, I walked into that one, but what are some actions that you do in the kitchen? Can you do those?”

You looked around the set and walked over to the kitchen area and tried to imitate chopping without a knife then tried to stir a pot without an actual pot to stir. You felt ridiculous and after a few minutes, Chris came to stand beside the photographer. He then whispered something to him.

“All right let’s take five everyone,” Albee announced.

Chris walked over to you with an amused look on his face.

“On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst how bad did that look?” He smiled and took a deep breath.

“Well, I don’t want to lie, so eight.” You nodded and sighed out feeling frustrated with the day.

“Okay look, this is new for you. you’re used to being in the kitchen whipping up incredible dishes being in front of a camera and doing this is weird. I get it, we all get it but you’re overthinking just a bit. I do this way more than I like. It usually helps to make it as natural as possible,” Chris explained.

“And how do you suggest I do that?”

“I am glad you asked. First, loosen up you have no need to be self-conscious or nervous, you’re gorgeous and the camera loves you. Put yourself in natural positions, think of it as acting.”

“I am not an actor.”

“Neither am I, but don’t tell anyone. Just put yourself in a mindset. You are playing a chef, think of their traits, characteristics, emulate those. When I watched you in the kitchen last night you demanded attention, you were authoritative, confident, controlled, and efficient. You can easily portray those to a camera. Think of poses that show just that.”

You were hearing him and everything he said was good advice, but you also were focused way too closely on his mouth. It would be so easy to get lost in watching him. The way his mouth moved and then his expressions to convey the meaning of his words were poetic.

“Try it. I promise it’ll feel easier.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“Anytime.” Chris walked back to stand next to the photographer then he gave you a thumbs up. You nodded and took a few relaxing breaths and went through his advice once more in your head.

“Ready Vixen?”

“Yep.”

You crossed your arms and gave a smirk then remixed it and planted them on your hips and flicked out your shoulder to slightly look over it.

“Nice, great shots. Keep em’ coming,” Albee critiqued. You felt some of the nerves fall away as you got a little more comfortable. That comfort had you settling into this role that Chris laid out. You glanced at him and he was nodded with a smile of approval. It felt nice to have it.

Fifteen minutes later, you were posed on top of the kitchen counter like some pin-up model doing role play.

“All right Vixen, we’ve got some good ones here. Let’s try something different, follow me,” Albee said.

You hopped off the counter and followed him to a neighboring room that had a real-life kitchen and plenty of things scattered about.

“Uh, what’s this?”

“Chris brought up something good, you can’t fake what you do. What you do has to be done to be captured, so everything you need to make a dish. As you make it I’m going to snap your pictures. It’ll be real-life art,” Albee explained.

You looked to Chris who shrugged as if it was nothing. He did this and acted like it was just something regular, something that didn’t need attention.

“Ready?”

You nodded and walked to the kitchen and surveilled your surroundings then went to work. This you could do because it felt as easy as breathing, you didn’t have to think about it or plan steps ahead of time. You could hear Albee’s camera clicking but it was easy to ignore it, he worked around you and your actions. There were quite a few comedic flubs that Albee said not to worry about they looked endearing on camera and would work well.

Halfway through you’d forgotten you were being pictured and now filmed and you were just enjoying what you loved to do. Soon you’d drawn the attention of those who were on set and in the building. They shouted out question after question about the steps you took or how you did something and it turned into a live cooking show.

About forty minutes in all and you were finished. With the final product in front of you, you finished the shoot with a few shots. You felt in your zone like this was you and not an act.

“Great work Vixen, my god we got some great shots and footage. You did great.”

“Thank you. this wasn’t that bad.”

Albee laughed and patted your arm before he walked off. You looked around for Chris but didn’t see him anywhere. You heard a “psst” behind you and saw him peeking out from behind a wall. As you approached you saw he wore a bright smile.

“What’re you doing?”

“I didn’t want to be seen by the people who came in. I wanted this to be just about you.”

“So you hid back here the entire time?”

“Not the entire time, maybe thirty minutes. It’s no big deal. You were great. How’d it feel?”

You quickly pressed your lips to his giving him a sweet kiss that quickly turned into a sultry one. Chris had one hand on your hip and the other cupping your cheek as you intensified the kiss. You wrapped one arm around his neck and just enjoyed it. When you pulled away his eyes were closed.

“Wow.” Chris looked at you with complete shock and a dumbfounded expression. You pinched your lips and looked down.

“What was that for?”

“Uh, thank you. You—you did this, and I appreciate it.” He didn’t speak for a few moments; he just stared at you and gently stroked your cheek with the back of his hand.

“I’d do anything for you Vixen.” His words hit you like a ton of bricks and several moments passed with the two of you just staring at each other.

“Excuse me—Vixen?” You stepped away at the sound of Albee’s assistant’s voice.

“Albee wants to know if you want to see some of the shots.”

“Yeah, definitely. Thank you.” Without a word to Chris, you walked off to Albee.

The shots were amazing, and they made you look better than you actually did. You were more than pleased with them and knew Kassius would be too. You mentally checked off another thing on your to-do list and felt excitement bubble with how close this all was to being finished.

When you and Chris stepped out onto the sun-drenched sidewalk you took a deep breath. “All right, work is done for the day. I have an idea. Let me show you my San Francisco. I’ll take you to a few places I go often, and we’ll grab lunch in there at some point,” you suggested.

“Sounds good. Lead the way.” He slipped his sunglasses on and tipped his hat low securing the incognito celebrity signature fashion and the two of you were off.

Five minutes later, you were on a cable car. You were standing on the side holding on to the bar with Chris behind you with one hand on the bar and the other holding you around the waist. “The likelihood of me falling off is slim,” you assured.

“Better safe than sorry, there’s a little girl who would kill me if anything happened to her favorite person in the world.” You smiled and allowed him to hold you close, you didn’t mind, you actually liked it.

When you got off you brought him into your favorite bakery. Once he walked inside he moaned. At the counter, he damn near pressed his face to the display case as he admired every treat there. You took care of ordering one of each of the eight things you, Ella and Nex loved here. Once they were ready you were off again. As you walked and talked you ate, it was the San Franciscan way.

Next, you took him to Telegraph Hill and to some of the famous stone step paths in the city. You talked about a variety of things as you walked toward the steps you knew that would take to you the waterside. He told you stories about his childhood, his siblings, stories about his first few years in Hollywood, stories about those he was closest to in the business and even how he’d med them. It was enlightening. Occasionally he’d initiate contact either through a securing hand at your back, or an assistive hand down a steep decline, every time it made you feel like a girly girl and gave you butterflies.

Once you’d made it to one of the waterside locations where you pointed out Alcatraz. He was able to use the telescope there to find it. That was when he proceeded to list off a few impressive facts about the place, surprising you in the process with his broad knowledge. After his near five-minute lecture, he stopped and the most adorkable expression washed over him, it was one of embarrassment and humor. It was perfect and gave you a sight of a new side. You sat at the waterside for some time and enjoyed the smell of the water, the sun, and the breeze through the trees. It was a beautiful afternoon. Chris would brush your hair from your face often. When you felt him take your hand it made you smile like an idiot which made him smile like an even bigger idiot and you were two idiots holding hands smiling.

When you took him to the best seafood restaurant in town the two of you did not downplay how much you ate. You ordered everything on the menu and plenty of beer to go with it as did he and the two of you pigged out without an ounce of shame. It felt good to just relax and not have there be any awkwardness or tension between you. It felt like the night in LA when you’d had tacos together, comfortable.

The sun had set by the time you made it to your last stop, a chocolatier. Turns out he has a mean sweet tooth that he likes to keep under wraps. While there, he tried almost all of their seventy variations of chocolate treats one after the other. You had no wonder where Ella got her sweets obsession, neither of them had any chill. A few times he’d feed you a few pieces as if it didn’t take a thought. He even finished something you’d had a bite of or wiped chocolate from the corner of your mouth and licked his finger afterward. By the time you left the shop, you were holding hands and slowly strolling to the cable car. On the car, he stood behind you with both arms wrapped around you whispering into your ear with his chin on your shoulder. You had no idea how you’d gotten here, but you liked it here.

When you were home you and Chris split up. It allowed you time to shower and check emails and respond to Kassius and other work obligations. After an hour, you’d finished applications for the new restaurant, chosen your kitchen staff and most of your wait staff and signed off on most of the vendors before you got caught up talking to Ella. She told you all about the great things she’d been doing with her grandmothers and cousins. She sounded like she was having a blast and barely missed you or Chris. After promising her you’d be back tomorrow she asked to talk to Chris. You found him in the living room doing some work of his own. Once he heard her voice his face lit up.

You went back to your room to give him some space. When you were in your closet a great idea hit you. When you turned Chris was walking in.

“She doesn’t sound like she misses me at all.”

You snorted and laughed then patted his shoulder. “Aww, you’ll get over it.”

“I don’t know if I will.”

“I have a great idea. This is your last night here, how about I take you to one of my favorite places.”

“What kind of place is this?”

“Uh, it’s a bit of a dancehall,” you informed. Chris’ eyebrows shot up.

“Dancehall? As in club?”

“Not a traditional club, it has more of an underground vibe to it. not many people know about it, the music is good, and the drinks are strong. Nexus and I like to go there every once in a while when I’m not too swamped.”

“So, I’ll see you in your natural environment?”

You laughed and gently pushed him. “Natural environment? What am I some endangered species?”

Chris pulled you flush against him with a wide smile on his face then wrapped his arms around you. “Of course, you are. You’re a rare unicorn, mother of unicorns,” he teased. The two of you laughed together until he softly kissed you once then twice and teased your bottom lip. You kissed him back and allowed him to press you against your opened door.

“So, do you want to?”

Chris nodded and kissed your nose. “I do, I want to do everything with you.” You smiled and tried not to blush. The way he easily made you feel like a schoolgirl was crazy.

“Okay. So get ready.” You pulled away and bit your bottom lip, an action he imitated. Neither of you moved again and you felt the air in the room change. You knew he felt it too.

“Thirty minutes?”

You nodded and walked away toward your closet trying to create space between you to prevent the inevitable.

An hour and a half later, you walked inside the dancehall with Chris close behind you. One hand was on your waist as you held the other. The music was loud, and the air was hazy from the mixture of smoke from numerous substances. Off to one corner, you saw a group doing hookah, and nearby a few were smoking blunts and cigarettes. The combination of scents wasn’t unpleasant. As you passed people you noticed a few guys who looked you over before looking to Chris. His hand on your waist tightened possessively.

At a small table in a far-right corner you sat and crossed your legs, Chris’ eyes immediately fell to your exposed thighs.

“That outfit is bringing plenty of attention,” shouted over the music. You smiled and shrugged.

“Is it?” He nodded and scooted closer to you stretched his arm around your shoulder and whispered to you.

“Trying to make me jealous?” You smiled and locked eyes with him.

“I didn’t know I had the power to make you jealous.”

“You have more power than you know,” he whispered back. The look that you shared stole your breath and made your heart race. Everything around you faded and neither of you noticed anything or anyone.

“Eh-em!”

Before you was one of the bottle girls with a smile on her face. Chris dipped his head down and hid it behind your shoulder just a bit.

“Hi.”

“What can I getcha?”

“Two bourbons, double,” you answered.

She nodded and walked off but not before glancing back at Chris.

“I don’t think she recognized you,” you assured.

The music changed to a modern day soca hit and everyone around you livened up and began dancing and chanting along with it.

“Do you dance?”

Chris smiled and went back to your ear. “I think you know the answer to that.”

You remembered your time in Vegas, you’d been in a club together and danced together. He had rhythm. That coupled with his charm made him a great dancer, although you may have been so drunk and horny anything was good to you.

“I was drunk as hell; everything was great that night.”

He smiled and nodded then stood and held his hand out. You looked at it then him and took it. Chris pulled you to him and then brought you toward an even darker corner. Once there he began bouncing to the beat trying to coax you into joining him. slowly you began dancing with him and it didn’t take any time at all for the two of you to begin to enjoy yourselves. You were right he had rhythm and was such a goofball that even if he messed up he didn’t care.

You took a break and went back to your table to enjoy your drinks and some conversation. The energy in the club was great and you loved that it didn’t get overpacked, there was a max occupancy of a hundred or so and even then it wasn’t as if everyone was all over each other. The music changed several times and went between reggae to soca to sultry RnB and it was all working together with the drinks you had.

A few hours later, you were as loose as you were going to get, and you grabbed his hand and lead him to a dark corner that wasn’t occupied. Halfway there Chris pulled you back into him and softly kissed your neck. The music changed as soon as you got to your destination and you couldn’t have planned it better. The sounds of 🎵Mike Champion surrounded you. You turned to Chris and locked eyes with him and began swaying your body. He didn’t pretend not to look at you, his eyes slowly raked over your body before his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

The song was one of your favorites and it always put you in the mind frame where your thoughts easily flowed to him. With him in front of you, you decided to tease him. Turning your back to him Chris squeezed your hip and stood there as you swayed and ground your hips onto him. you could hear his breathing change and felt one of his hands trail to the top of one of your thighs. You leaned your head back onto his shoulder and then you felt his teeth latch onto your earlobe and gently bite down.

“Mmm.”

“You like that?” His voice was crazy deep and it opened the door of your desire. That was all it took.

“Tell me.” It was an order and one you had no problem obeying.

“Yes.” Chris kissed then sucked the sensitive part of your neck and began swaying with you keeping up with the pace you set. You couldn’t believe that you were horny in this club from nothing but his voice and a kiss to the neck.

Chris’ hand snaked around to your backside but slid down to the back of your thigh. He slowly felt your skin and just as he was about to kiss your neck again the song changed. You could have shot the DJ for it, but when you realized what song he’d changed it to you could have kissed him. 🎵You turned to Chris and draped your arms around his neck. In the same breath, he pulled you on him. The two of you swayed together and kept to the beat. With your forehead just below his nose, you kept your eyes down and focused on the words of the song and how quickly you were fell under his spell.

Chris’ hands on your lower back squeezed the skin there before he moved them to your hips to squeeze again. A soft groan escaped your lips, a groan you know he heard. Chancing a look at him, you found his eyes already on you. the temptation between you reached an almost critical level. Chris took your hands and spun you, so your back was to his chest. You took the opportunity to whine against him making sure to roll your hips slowly. When you heard him suck in a breath you smirked to yourself.

You dipped down just a little and let your ass do all the talking. You felt his undivided attention and from the quick glance you got of him from over your shoulder he knew just what you were doing. When you stood up to press your back against his chest Chris moved your hair to the side allowing you to feel his breath on your neck by your ear.

“Cause I'm searchin’ just to find a toppa top girl, and you lookin' fine. I love that shape and that design, gimme your body anytime. And I know you hear me clear, girl, you gotta know I got no fear. And you know I will be prepared if you give me your body anywhere.”

Your head snapped back to look at him, he had an amused grin on his face. “I may be white but I’m not vanilla.”

You laughed loud and shook your head and sunk back into him again only this time adding more of a belly dancing flare to it, Shakira was not the only one who could do it. When Chris’ hands rested at your pelvis every urge wanted you to grab his hand and put it where you wanted it. When you turned to him you could see he was struggling with his desires as well. The look on his face was masked but only just a little, you knew just what he wanted and you were going to tease the hell out of him before you gave it to him.

“C'mon now let’s go, where nobody knows. You and me alone, you and me together. Wanna feel it in my soul, baby take control. Love when you, oh, make it last forever,” you sang along while staring into his eyes.

There could have been the biggest fight going on around you but neither of you would have known it with how wrapped up with each other you were. Song after song played but the two of you only had eyes for one another and the bubble you were in only got smaller and smaller.

When you made it back to your house once the front door shut you were on him. You each peeled off your clothes and threw them around not caring where they landed. When they crashed into something the two of you giggled like drunk kids. Your lips and teeth clashed but neither of you cared you just giggled your way through the hall until Chris carried you up the stairs. He stumbled and lowered you to the steps and hovered over you. his lips kissed, licked and sucked a path down your exposed skin. When he got to your waist he didn’t stop instead he went to your core and placed a suctioned kiss right on your clit.

“Fuck!”

“Like that?”

“Mmm-hm.” Your pitch was high, and you sounded desperate, you didn’t care.

“God, you’re irresistible!”

Chris scooped you up and scurried up the remainder of the steps to your bedroom where he dropped you on the bed. You laughed while you bounced then sat up to help him undress. As he worked with kicking off his shoes, you busied yourself with peeling off his pants. Chris then took over and kicked them off and jumped onto you. Your laughter mingled together. Chris then slithered down your body to pull off your underwear and again he kissed your clit and went to work.

He didn’t take his time, his mission was to get you off and it was evident with how expertly he commanded your body to do what he wanted. After only a few minutes you felt your orgasm take over and you clamped his head between your thighs as you rode the wave. He easily pried them apart and pressed them to the bed. The strength he exhibited made you want him even more. You rolled onto him and kissed down his chest across his abs and went right for your prize.

As you were going to grab him his length spasmed and nudged you right on your nose. That cracked the two of you up and you both broke out in a fit of laughter especially when he apologized.

“He has a mind of his own.”

You couldn’t stop laughing. Eventually, you did though and wrapped your lips around him. His groan was deep and guttural. It made goosebumps scatter across your skin, you loved it. Slowly you bobbed your head up and down his need. Each time your lips wrapped around his tip he whimpered and grabbed the sheets beside him.

“Christ, your mouth feels incredible.”

You smirked and swirled your tongue around him. making him shiver.

“Does it? Do you like it?”

“So much,” he whispered, again you smirked.

“Do you want me to keep going?”

Chris quickly nodded his head with his jaw dropped. “Yes, please.”

Amusement filled you and you continued pleasing him. Everything you did had him grunting, moaning and bucking his hips up sending his full length further down your throat. Your moans joined his and soon his hands sunk into your hair and he began guiding your head. When you picked up the pace he angled his head back and grunted and sucked in a breath.

“Fuck Vixen. Slow—slow baby.”

The sound of the endearment made your heart flutter and had you speeding up rather than going slow. When his grunts turned to loud whimpers you pulled your head back and stared at him. When he looked to you, you smiled and crooked your finger to him.

“Come ‘ere.” Chris slid to the edge of the bed and kissed your stomach up to your breast and sucked a nipple before he kissed you with urgency. His hands squeezed the flesh of your ass and he pulled a moan from you before you turned and slowly sank down onto him.

“Aaah.” He sighed and held you there, so you didn’t move. You enjoyed the feel of him filling and stretching you to capacity. Slowly you whined your hips circling him. he bit your shoulder harshly then kissed it soothing the ache.

When you began bouncing on him you looked over your shoulder, locked eyes with him and enjoyed how helpless he looked. It made you feel powerful but you also couldn’t ignore how good he felt. After a few minutes, Chris began pumping up to meet each of your bounces sending him further inside of you.

“Fuck, yes Chris.”

That was all he needed to hold your hips where they were to plow into you setting a heart-racing pace. Your moans fell from you one after the other as did his. You were so close to losing your shit and he must have known it because when his fingers made contact with your clit you flung your head back and gave him full control.

“You feel so good, you make me feel so good,” Chris whispered. He then stood with you and pushed you onto the bed and angled your ass in the air then continued his thrusts. The new angle was all you needed for your release to break free. You screamed then felt his hand at the back of your neck holding tightly. Another orgasm washed over you even before the first finished.

“Mmm, come all over this dick Vix. Come for me.”

You hadn’t seen this man since Vegas, the man who got off on control and orders, the man who had a clear dominance kink, the man who had the power to make you come over seven times in one night. You gripped the sheets because you knew it was a matter of time before you came again. Chris’ hands wrapped around your hair and gently pulled as he slammed into you to the hilt. As expected you came again and clenched around him. Chris hovered over your back and kissed a path up to your shoulder then bit down.

“Mmm, God you’re gonna make me come.”

“Come for me,” you ordered.

“You want me to come?” His strokes slowed but the depth of which he reached increased. Your jaw dropped, words failed you as your toes curled and body shook with your fourth release of the night.

“I can’t hear you, Vix. Do—you—want—me—to—come?” With each word, he enunciated he slammed into you. By the time he slammed into you once more he ground against you sending his cock to touch every wall and involuntarily pull yet another orgasm from you.

“Shit! No! Fuck me.”

“No please?”

“Pretty please.” You felt his smile on your ear then he gave you just what you asked for—the pounding of your life.

Your screams echoed around the room and mingled with his loud grunts and groans. The room filled with the combined scent of your sex and it was a hedonistic scent, one that fueled the fire of desire between you. By the time Chris finally came, you were exhausted. You could barely move let alone keep your eyes open.

~~~~~~~~~

-Chris-

You were going to be the death of him. He’d buried himself so deep in you he’d made you come over and over. He should have been tired, but he wasn’t. He should have passed out after he came but he couldn’t. He had way too much going on in his head and his body wanted more of you. It had never been like this with anyone. He could easily control himself but with you that control was nonexistent. He didn’t even know what it felt like. You were his addiction, temptation, and relief.

Ten minutes after both of your breathing had returned to normal he knew he had to tell you. He took a deep breath but hesitated yet again. He was afraid, he knew that by now. He knew there was a fifty-fifty chance that you’d be upset and that you’d want to proceed with the divorce. He knew he could lose you—again. He didn’t want to, but he had to face the music.

“Vix.”

A soft moan rumbled on his chest. Closing his eyes, he began.

“I have a confession, a confession that I should have told you weeks ago. A confession that may come as a shock. First I have to tell you what a huge mistake I made three years ago. What I said to you—there is no excuse for it. I’m sorry. I know I’ve said it before, but I have to say it again. I’ve regretted it for years; I still regret it. I wanted to find you and went back and forth if I should or shouldn’t. I didn’t have the courage to find you really. I was so ashamed of myself and how I’d treated you, I was such an asshole. Uugh.”

He hit his head on the headboard and hated himself all over again. It was his words that had him missing the last three years. His words, his fault.

“Since finding you again I’ve—I’ve been reminded of the things I felt. The things I felt, I ignored and buried. I was not prepared for you or what I felt then. I ran from it and ended up right back there. I think about you—a hell of a lot, I dream about you. I want things with you I’ve never wanted with anyone else, I want things I didn’t know I wanted until you. You’re—you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I really, really—like you. You have no idea how much. I want to start fresh, I want to build a life, a new one. A few weeks ago, I found out that there was a mix up with the original divorce papers we signed. Sherman—Sherman went through a personal ordeal and the paperwork got lost and was never filed. We’re still married.”

He waited for you to say something but when you didn’t he continued. “I know it’s a shock and probably an unwelcomed one, but maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. Maybe it’s a sign that we shouldn’t be divorced, that we’re supposed to be in each other’s lives. Maybe what God intended three years ago was to bring us together and he’s not letting either of us off the hook.”

Still, you didn’t speak.

“Vixen?” He glanced down at you and saw you were fast asleep.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” He dropped his head back and closed his eyes in disbelief he’d gone through all of it only for you not to hear him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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