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#I also want to stop feeling bad about my life & hobbies
chrisbangs · 9 months
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hello... (and bye ig 👋)
#👋😭 hi...#i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone#i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭#i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh...#uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂#i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but#i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause#i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say...#i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu#it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media /#without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao#i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy#pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on#i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a#depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think#i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just#sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ????#i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become#even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it#i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it#like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi#i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda#makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd#not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what#they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling#anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀#i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say#this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel#like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭#who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡
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toastsnaffler · 19 days
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ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....
#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it#i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks#and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance#but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day#and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs#but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it#i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it#which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit#but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space#yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz#.diaries#hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse#very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..
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mutalune · 3 months
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hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery
#starlight personal#it’s very bizarre to have my life going objectively well - work is good! personal life is good! family is good!#and still be very mentally ill and feel like I’m faking it even though I know damn well I ain’t scream-sobbing every couple of days alone in#my apartment for attention because What Attention??? my cat????? Bug is never moved by my tears she cares only for string and wires#like I know that cannabis has been immensely helpful to getting me to fucking sleep on a regular schedule and that’s integral to -#my functioning and I know that having emergency klonopin in the event of a total breakout is helpful#and I KNOW that my PMDD and depression and anxiety are very treatment resistant and ketamine is the only thing that’s provided any -#meaningful relief and logically I know I’m not abusing any of these#I’m getting a promotion at work I still go out to see friends regularly I have hobbies I have a girlfriend (??? Wild right)#like clearly these things are working because i’m better now than i was for years leading up to now#SO LIKE. DON’T STOP USING THE THINGS THAT HELP. LOGICALLY THIS MEANS THESE ARE GOOD FOR ME#I always roll my eyes when ppl go off their meds b/c they’re feeling better like babes that’s what the meds are meant to do#if you stop taking them you stop feeling better - but it’s REALLY HARD to get past the cultural conditioning#the feeling that ‘but I can white knuckle my way through this I can force myself to live without’ like WHY BITCH#WE DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT#AND ALSO. WE’RE STILL GENERALLY MISERABLE BRO. EVEN WITH OUR LIFE IN A BETTER PLACE!!!#DO YOU NOT THINK THIS MEANS THAT WE SHOULD USE WHAT WE KNOW WORKS TO BE LESS MISERABLE#basically it’s really hard to not feel like a loser when the only things that help are ‘fun’ drugs like weed and psychedelics#I feel like I’m being a hedonistic reprobate which 1) is actually kinda cool now that I wrote it out#2) @ myself were not a good enough liar-faker that every medical professional we see wouldn’t pick up on that if that was our motivation#time to remind myself that it’s arrogant to think I could trick many trained professionals without actively trying tbh#that generally helps me get out of my self-pitying ‘ohhhhh I’m awful and lazy and bad and abusing substances’ spiral#to be very mentally ill on main it is weirdly reassuring to be like ‘just as my fanon interpretation of obi wan kinda hates himself but is -#practical enough to take care of himself even when it makes him cringe and want to scratch his face off; I too am aware that self-care is -#radical and punk and In Fact Necessary to beat back the dark and live in the light with hope so yes even though I doubt and -#feel squiggly and guilty about it I’m not going to NOT prioritize my health and well-being b/c self-hatred and self-denial benefits no one’#thank you inner obi wan i love projecting my issues onto you mwah mwah mwah smooches for my favorite boy!!!!!#and smooches for me I’m going to be proud of myself gosh darn it even if I have to fake it at first#see I wouldn’t be able to be nice to myself like this if I hadn’t been doing ketamine treatment for a year IT WORKS BRO KEEP IT UP#SCHEDULE THE DAMN APPOINTMENT AND CLEAN YOUR BONG
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yelloworangesoda · 7 months
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gotta get off the internet and only interact irl with people who were 30 before they got their shit together i cant keep doing it like this
#like this being. feeling like i have no future and nobody likes me#‘youre only 19’ only goes so far when i dont know any other fail 19 year olds#im not gonna be a damn dentist for sure but like. and ive said this a thousand times. what am i gonna do. i cant live a worthless nothing#life where i work a shitty job i hate. i have to like something#i hate my art. i hate my lack of creativity. my art is so bland i just dont think its in me anymore#i finished. and i hate it#i have other hobbies. i like to cross stitch. i like to sew. i like to paint. i like to make dolls. do you see the common theme here#i have a few more than that i technically could do but i cant create anymore and it kills me. i want to. i constantly want to but i cant#it doesnt help that even if i havw ideas i dont even want to do them#i was gonna draw some characters from a game i played when i was little but i just#didnt want to. at no point did it not feel like a chore#ill try to go to new mediums! its fun to mess around and then itll feel boring again and going back doesnt feel any better#idk. googling it is useless. ive tried all the things. for years. ive been TRYING to draw consistently and like. doodles are fine theyre fu#but theyre not what i want to do i want to make something im proud of. i drew almost every single day for like 2 years#and its not burnout bc its been like. 2 more years! and ive barely wanted to at all!!!#i want to be creative and i also want people to recognize it. different complaint but it sucks so bad#i feel like nobody likes me. still. nobody cares about what i do. nobody would care if i stopped#like except me but i can only support myself so far!!!! im so tired of it!!!! someone PLEASE be here for me and just say ‘hey i love this#drawing :)’ like you have no idea what that would do for me#not always. but yknow especially if its been a while. if you like it. if you dont like it :( idk. you should tell me that too i guess#yknow so i can have some confirmation so i dont feel like im crazy. idk. dont actually id never go online again. i would probably. well.#i dont like to say the words#simons spouting#vent :(
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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My mom was just like ahhh Im anxious to go out of my comfort zone and I was like you’re good how is this out of your comfort zone you’ve done this before and she was like why do you always judge my feelings and say I’m not allowed to feel that way I should feel some other way and I’m sitting here like :| as if she hasn’t done that to my my entire life and as if I didn’t mean you’ve done this before as a you got this sentiment not get over urself
#literally she said that and I just put my headphones on and went into my room bc if I had stayed out there I would’ve said ‘like you’ve done#to me my entire life’ and she would’ve had a shitty night and yelled and/or cried at me and I would’ve felt bad#so I just put my headphones on and walked away and it’s just like god how can she be so fucking unaware#like I got these fucking habits from somewhere like you think maybe growing up depressed and suicidal in a family that didn’t talk about or#publicly feel their emotions made it difficult for me to express things and you think maybe you making me feel bad constantly because of my#depression and on top of my depression might have transferred into me saying things that hurt you and not meaning it#but I can’t say any of this becusse obviously she didn’t mean it at the time she didn’t know how to deal with me but fuck man it just fucks#me up cause i don’t want to be constantly trying to get pay back against my mother or whatever but I also feel like she’s constantly trying#to say shit to me about her going on dates or whatever when I have repeatedly told her I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t like when#she jokes about it and I tell her to like get a hobby other than men and like I’m joking but I’m fucking not#like she spends all her time out with guys or talking about guys or texting guys while we’re supposed to be hanging out and I have both#never felt more isolated and alienated from my family and have never felt this weirdly connected to my family#like I feel like how my mother felt when I was doing stupid shit and she didn’t want to say anything and when she did I’d be an asshole but#she’d be right and idk it’s just like how do I stay mad at my mother while doing the same things she did to me then#but how do I stop doing them if I can’t address why I’m doing it and how do I address it if I feel like I need to tell her#but I’ve told her and it doesn’t help it only makes her feel bad#how do I let myself feel my emotions. how has everyone else been doing it this whole time and it’s fucking impossible for me#ugh.#fuck.#I’m gonna take one of my crying edibles and see if I can get listening to some sad music and let some tears out of my face#and then I’m gonna play Minecraft tonight with 🧍🏻 and he doesn’t know I have a pet bird yet or about my trip so that’ll be fun
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bongjuiceconcentrate · 4 months
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#this is gonna be so tmi sorry i’m advance but#how am i supposed to deal with having a body and every mental illness and stomach problems and throat problems and being ugly and having no#hobbies or life skills or a job#i need to find a job but i also have to deal with my stomach and my throat so i can be well enough to actually move my body to find a job#but i don’t have much money left so i can’t focus on those things either so i’m spending literally hours a day in the bathroom and it hurts#to speak#and i don’t want to feed myself i don’t want to take my meds i don’t want to do anything but get high which also physically hurts also bc#throat#and i have to do PT everyday so i can shit better but i also need to find a job so i can’t waste silly energy on things like that but then i#can’t get a job because i feel like shit and am shitting literally all the fucking time#and obviously the logical thing should be to just take care of my health today so i can be good to#tomorrow to find a job right? wrong actually! tomorrow it’ll be something’s#and the day after that#n the day after that#and every day after that one too!#but no one is actually willing to help me with anything because i am a 1 dimensional human being who spawned yesterday who has never heard#of things like “’building tenacity’ and ‘having structure’ there’s actually nothing wrong with me i’m just lazy i guess!#but if i wanna kill myself that’s wrong and bad and needs to be stopped immediately#other people seem to look at suicidal people and go ‘i have no reason to want to kill myself so other people just need to push it through :)#thug it out lol’ and it’s like actually these are very good reasons to want to die#i have spent the last 9 years actively in treatment actively working on myself actively trying to build a better life#it has only gotten worse#don’t talk to me about getting over to the other side. i’m on it. it’s just as bad as every other one of the sides#life doesn’t ever get better for some people and just because that wasn’t true for you and your life did get better doesn’t mean other#peoples lives every will get better. like it is straight up not possible for me to have a better life. and i know this for a fact because if#it was#i would have it now and i would have had it for a while
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featherymainffins · 6 months
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Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.
#it at least gave me the single molecule of mental energy required to force myself to eat at least one slice of bread#because it's like the physical energy is there sure but mentally I'm like 'noooooo I don't want to eat anything i hate food#all food tastes bad and i hate life and i want to eat nothing at all and furthermore i need to lose weight so i should starve myself'#I'm thinking that it might actually make me last until I either convince the crisis center that I'm for fucking real for real#or until my appointment with the school counselor. which idk when would be because i was supposed to go on the#2nd of April but i guess there might be holidays because he called me when i was atva lecture but i couldn't take it#because i had a lecture and he hasn't called since but I'm assuming#that hell call again and that he wants to let me know that the date is impossible#but I want to like wait and see what he says. and if he goes like 'oh actually im on a long vacay now goodbye forever'#or whatever I'll just go '...slay' and ride my ass to the hospital tomorrow.#show up at the crisis centre looking exactly like the patients with chronic pain who report pain 7 while looking unphased#like 'hello i am an active danger to myself I can't get out of bed most days; i need 16 hours of sleep to function for 4 hours#my meds have stopped working I haven't eaten anything but exactly 2 pancakes and a slice of bread in the past 4 days#and i exhibit a strong refusal to change this marked by thoughts present in people affected by eating disorders. no activity#feels fun anymore and they were marked by a strong sense of anxiety a few days ago but now i just feel nothing at all.#at this point I'm not even refusing to do any of my hobbies because im increasingly afraid of failure and its#consequences while being hunted for sport by anxiety from the opposite end telling me that i need to finish 50 masterpieces#immediately or nobody will ever like me again and they'll all see me for the talentless fraud i am. at this point i just don't care.#i don't do anything because i feel sluggish and my body is heavy and I'm so so tired and I'm tired of being awake and I can't think straight#also i think i might be going into a psychotic episode again.'#they're gonna tell me to get the fuck out of their faces anyway but it's worth a try.#like idk i feel like they might kinda listen because yesterday I guess they wouldn't have but today i have stopped caring about cars#and looking both ways. which is like. not a good sign probably. also yesterday i was still somewhat able to talk to people#even though i was in a very irritated and drained out state but today I'm feeling like if anyone even fucking attempts to talk to me#or if i hear any loud fucking sound at all I'm just gonna punch myself in the head until the pain drowns out all the sound
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allsadnshit · 7 months
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Sometimes I think about my best friend in my 20's response to when I told her I was envious of how talented and skilled she was cause she was always the friend that was doing a million new hobbies and just really had it together in my eyes and she seemed so disappointed in me and said how she's always been perceived as "talented" for things she was not a natural at and had actually worked tirelessly hard to learn to do and how it's never a compliment to assume someone has something you don't simply because they got lucky because more often than not they were just as capable as you and just chose to take risks, dedicate time, push through discomforts or doubts that maybe you succumb to, and really earned things that are often nonchalantly disregarded by peers as having walking in with already in hand
And I feel like that conversation really changed me cause I've always been bad at school and been a slow learner so I just sort of decided I wasn't smart and it wasn't my fault I wasn't born with the same advantages of people around me and I think that's something we all do as self protection from the truth that the only thing truly keeping us from what we want is usually ourselves and our decisions about our own narratives that aren't actually in stone even if we see them that way
I realized my friend was actually just not a quitter, and that she also felt not good enough often but decided to keep going in times where I know I would have stopped in her place
And I feel like taking ownership of my life a lot in the last few years has made me understand her better, even with stuff like chronic illness that practically begs us to victimize ourselves and then that way of thinking makes us sicker and more dependent on others when we could be accepting help without considering ourselves so helpless
It's really weird interacting with anyone once I've realized so much of that because I see my old self in people when they talk to me like I have something they don't because I am finally making different choices than I used to and honestly it is very irritating regardless of intention
If you want something someone else has that doesn't give you permission to assume how they got it or what it is even like having it - and I think more and more people have decided it's not their fault how they are choosing to live and that's why they are so stuck
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restinslices · 9 months
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Lin Kuei Bros: Play Fighting
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Smoke so dramatic-. Anyway, don’t ask why I thought of this. The voices were loud
Bi-Han
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Play fighting with any of them is bold as fuck but HIM? You don't like your life 
I'm not saying he's gonna straight up assault you but out of all the brothers, he has the highest chance of hitting you hard as shit on accident 
He probably wouldn't even like play fighting that much. He'd prefer sparring cause at least you're working on your skills. Why you just fucking around?
You gotta catch him on the right day. Some days he's busy and some days he's just legit not in the mood. 
“Imma start it off slow. Imma scope the scenery out-”
If you somehow get this man to cooperate, first of all good job. Second of all, y'all do not stop until you give up. 
The type to pin you down and not let go until you admit he won. If you refuse, you're legit not moving. 
This is a big guy so you're not moving him. You give up, he lets go and you manage to crack a smile out of him
We never see him smile in the game but listen bitch, I'm here for the fantasy-
If he's not in the mood, I can see him just saying “no” like you're a puppy or smth. 
You'd go to swing on him again and he'd either grab your hand or give you a look that tells you he's being serious 
Going back to him accidentally hitting you hard as shit, he's used to sparring with two other buff ass men. Imma guess you're not as buff as them, and some of y'all reading this ain't men. Accidents are bound to happen 
You'd think the Grandmaster would have more control but I just think it slips sometimes. He's stupidly prideful and he's used to sparring so sometimes that's where his mind goes. Also once again, he probably sometimes forgets a hit Kuai Liang could handle is a hit that'll take years off your life. 
I would love to say he gets on his knees and apologizes but this is the same man who betrayed his brothers and was like “why y'all tweaking?” so um… 
You're gasping for air and he's “see why I always say no?”
I feel like I'm making him sound abusive but as someone who's play fought with my older siblings, they hit you hard as shit then tell you you're a bitch when a tear slips out. Why the fuck are you hitting me this hard in my chest? You got 5+ years on me-
He's an older brother. He's gonna hit hard. I swear it's in their DNA 
And if he does apologize it's not really verbal. He checks to make sure your limbs are alright then offers to do something else. 
“Are you gonna say you're sorry?” “For?” “For almost breaking my damn lung” “You started this”
You'd expect that the next time you wanna play fight he'd decline cause he doesn't wanna hurt you again. Wrong. 
Remember he's an older brother. THE older brother. Y'all squaring up again. You don't care about your health so fuck it. 
Honestly would be super fun besides the limb you're gonna lose 
Kuai Liang
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Would be more cooperative than Bi-Han but still isn't overly excited to play fight 
Bi-Han is the “tell mom. I don't care” older brother. Kuai Liang is the “wait wait wait, I'm sorry. You can hit me back. Calm down. You want some candy?” older brother 
Fully aware he could cause terrible injuries but as time passes on, he relaxes more 
Definitely play fought as a kid but after Tomas started jumping everytime he heard his voice, he thought “maybe I need new hobbies”.
You’ve interrupted his recovery
He actively focuses on holding back and being soft even if you tell him not to
“Hit me harder” “No❤”
Honestly a fun time though. He holds back when it comes to strength but still tussles with you. Also let's you get hits in even when he could easily dodge them. 
If he accidentally injured you frfr, he's checking up on you immediately and says y'all stopping for today. 
“No, I'm ok” “Can you even breathe right now?” “Uhhh… yes😀” “We're done”
For sure feels like an asshole depending on how bad you're hurt. He's not sliding down the wall in pain but he's like “damn, that was a little too hard”. 
“You can hit me back” “No. I've seen Twilight” “What?” “It's gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you. I'm not doing that”. (Now I wanna write you making them watch Twilight. I'm never gonna be rid of this addiction-)
You gotta hit him back so y'all can be even. It's the only way to move on
Y'all are not doing that shit again for at least another week or so. 
“We gotta scrap right here right now” “No”
Does the thing older siblings do when they put their hand on your head so when you swing at them, you're just hitting air. 
It's so infuriating so you gotta stop. 
The next time though, you swear you're gonna win. You will not. 
Tomas Vrbada
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The most willing and having the most fun 
Tomas has two older brothers that probably jumped him on several occasions growing up and you're gonna try and convince me he doesn't have aggression to get out?
People would probably expect he's the softest but no. He's the youngest. As the youngest myself I can assure you, we are used to putting our all in these fights cause we gotta use all our strength to defeat these evil mfs we live with. Sometimes it's not enough-
You're not his older sibling so he's not scrapping like his life depends on it but I do think he's hitting somewhat hard 
Not as hard as Bi-Han, not as soft as Kuai Liang 
You feel his hits but it's not knocking the wind outta you 
Super fun cause he's also using the environment. Definitely is grabbing a pillow and starts swinging it at you. Definitely is running around the couch to chase you. Definitely has thrown you but made sure to aim at something soft. He's probably even turned off the lights then threw a folded blanket at you 
“Cheater” “Don't be upset you didn't think of it first”
You're fighting but laughing at the same time. There's no real tension. Just fucking around. 
Probably starts initiating it too
If he does injure you fr, for a split second he'd actually see it as a victory then he'd remember you're not his older brothers and is like “oh shit-”. 
Injuring those two would mean freedom (or a worse jumping. really depends), injuring you is not good. 
He knows how bad those hits can hurt so he makes sure you're alright. He's not watching you as much as Kuai Liang would but he'd still make sure you're not overly sore. 
He doesn't feel as bad as Kuai Liang would cause he kinda knows this shit happens. Kuai Liang kinda got a little bit of guilt cause Tomas gets into a fighting stance when he raises his hand up. Tomas hasn't victimized anyone so he's more chill about these situations 😭
Tells you random ass stories about when he used to play fight with his brothers. 
“One time Bi-Han threw me in the air and Kuai Liang jumped to catch me only to throw me against the wall”
“This reminds me of when Bi-Han swept my feet from under me and Kuai Liang jumped on me”
“What is it called when someone jumps on you elbow first?”
“This one time I woke up to them standing over me. I knew it was a wrap”
“One time Bi-Han slapped the back of my neck so hard, it was red for at least a week”
“One time Kuai Liang-” “Tomas… you need a therapist” “I don't think that's what it is”
Unlike Kuai Liang who makes you wait, he's cool with scrapping days later. 
Actually says “time out” when he wants a break. Also says “time in” fast as fuck though to catch you off guard 
Legit the most fun brother. I don't make the rules (except I do). 
I did not mean to write the least for Kuai Liang but I was really brain empty for him. Y’all should give me ideas, thanks bookie
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rowan-post · 11 months
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RPC self-care
We all get worn down by life and often we turn to RP for rejuvenation. But more than once I've seen people on here that find themselves burnt out on the RP community itself. With nearly 20 years of role playing under my belt, I thought I'd share some of my favourite self-care tricks.
Block people. You don't have to explain yourself and 'weird vibes' is a legitimate reason. You deserve to feel safe and unbothered in your hobby space, and RP is based on consent. Just like with any recreational activity, you can withdraw your consent at any time and no is a complete sentence.
Turn off anon. This prevents anonymous harassment and gives you great insight into who to block or report if you get non-anonymous harassment.
Drop threads. I know RP etiquette suggests you need to tell your RP partner when and why, and sure, if they ask politely you can give it a go - just know that a pre-written variant of 'not feeling it' is good enough. In my humble opinion, I think dropping boring or vexing threads is everyone's prerogative and doesn't require explanation. Again, no is a complete sentence.
Talk it out. If you like the thread but things took a turn you didn't like, it's time to bring the RP into the workshop. Something like 'Hey I really like our RP so far but I'm losing my spark, can we talk about course correcting where the plot is going?'
Make clear rules and revise them frequently. I'd also advise against spending said rules excusing or explaining why you don't like or want a certain thing - I cannot stress enough how your preferences are not up for debate.
Get comfy chasing. A lot of RP is about inviting others to play over and over and over. Rejection is a part of it. See if you can't find some element of self-care in it - taking rejection well is a great skill to practice in such a low stake environment.
Notice and celebrate the good stuff, instead of digging holes about the bad. Tell your co-players how great they are. Marvel at all the hard work you put into your muses and graphics. Admire your own blog.
Stop. Take a break. Check in with yourself. Do you actually need to face something in IRL? Do you need to rest? A snickers? A walk? Don't bother with posts á la 'offline for the day' - leave your options open to reduce guilt or shame if you want to poke your head back in.
Happy writing. 🌿
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nvuy · 6 months
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Boothill is a “your pleasure is my pleasure” kind of guy do u agree 🎤
mdni. im snatching the mic. i got carried away ty anon for giving me an excuse to ramble about this loser.
he takes pleasing you very seriously. this is serious business. it’s like his day job.
he’s half-convinced he was given a second life just to cross paths with you, so once he’s got you, he’s not letting you go. not for a while, at least. he’s stuck to your hip like glue. wherever you go, he’s most likely right next to you.
he’s always making sure you’re catered to first.
it’s the same in bed.
he’s extremely touch starved, so while he’s got his hand between your legs, he’s also busied himself nuzzling his cheek to yours to feel you helplessly panting against his skin. or, his ear is resting against your heart. whatever works for him in the moment.
he’s absolutely smitten with how warm you get. he’s always, always, pressing himself against you one way or another. just touch all over his face, please and thank you.
he’s all for kisses too. sometimes, when he’s having a bit too much fun, he’ll get all mushy and gross. not that he already isn’t, but it somehow gets worse.
he’ll bite too. not enough to make you bleed, but enough to leave an angry mark for the next few days.
actually, he just nips you all the time. it’s a weird thing he does. don’t point fingers in his face. he’ll try eating them. he’s very strange in that way. sometimes you can be gesturing at nothing while you talk, and if your fingers get too close to his face, he’s trying to nip at them like a teething puppy. you got used to it.
great tongue too. bonus points because it’s actually real. he works his magic with it, but only after you beg enough. you gotta work to get your hands on the merchandise. his mechanics are expensive, so play nice.
if we’re getting into unserious business, the robocock is great fun. it’s got smooth ridges and it’s cold. probably customisable, too. it’s definitely possible, but whether he’s gonna wander up to some poor mechanic and ask them to add some special features… well.
either way, your pleasure is always his priority. his hobbies consist of biting every single exposed expanse of your skin and exploring new ways to make you squirm.
it’s bad enough you having to deal with this lump of steel and scrap—frankly, he doesn’t even understand what’s so appealing about it—but if you enjoy bouncing on his lap, go ahead. do it all night for all he cares. as long as you have that pretty dizzy smile on your face by the end of it all. it makes him melt into a puddle of liquid metal knowing how good he makes you feel.
he’s also VERY susceptible to puppy eyes. they’re your greatest asset, and his biggest weakness.
you figured that out after you pleaded with him to put on these clothes you bought him (and, yep. these clothes have just as many cut outs as his usual attire). you can also use them if you want to do his hair. please convince him to wear it in a high ponytail more. he has such a nice face, and it also stops his neck from overheating. those poor fans need a vacation.
it takes some convincing, especially when you show him the hair tie is actually a red sparkly ribbon. you’re going to ruin his tough guy persona. but he’ll drop anything for you, so he’ll comply. on the condition that you give him smooches afterwards. it’s also an excuse for him to indulge in how your fingers feel against his scalp.
puppy eyes, crying, begging, whatever, usually get people he’s apprehended nowhere. he doesn’t care for theatrics. not at all. a criminal is a criminal at the end of the day.
but you? aww, how can he say no to your angel eyes? wanna fuck his face? you didn’t even have to ask! just watch the teeth. and feel free to pull his hair. wanna ride him until he short circuits? sure! if you can keep up. he’s all yours.
and when you’re done, his aftercare consists of coddling and pinching your cheeks. he’ll prattle on about nothing. the subject will change to gushing over how pretty you look in his bed, to the weather tomorrow, to how he misses the taste of spaghetti. he’ll even kiss all over the marks he’s left on you. probably kicks his feet too.
he’s still so energetic it’s mind-baffling. he’s so casual about it too, acting as if he didn’t beg for you to cum on his face just ten minutes ago.
but that’s robot stamina for you. or maybe it’s just a boothill thing. who knows?
after a while he’ll calm down. i still haven't decided if he can sleep, but once you’ve fallen asleep, he’ll lay next to you and draw patterns on the nape of your neck with his fingers.
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sefinaa · 7 months
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❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫.❞
What are some things that your fs/lover adore about you?
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Subliminal channel | Masterlist
Tips | Paid Readings
Not a tarot card reading, only based on my intuition.
18+ intuitive readings
Authors note,
Pile 2 has one bullet point that is a little 18+. If you’re uncomfortable, skip the second bullet point.
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Pile 1:
🦋 Your eyes and the way you light up at the smallest things. Perhaps when a butterfly flies near you or when you do well on a test, you become very happy.
🦋 The way you cook something. At times it doesn’t come out as you hope, you don’t let it affect you—you keep at it until the next day or the next time you cook something hoping to do better than before and you actually do much better. They absolutely fricken love this about you.
🦋 You don’t compete with anyone but yourself, you don’t have an ego and you focus on improving yourself all the time.
🦋 The small kisses you give them, small gestures like kissing their cheeks or eyes, even eyebrows. Not to tease them, but a small gesture of your appreciation for them.
🦋 (This is a cute one). The way you caress their cheeks when they try to express their feelings but they cannot. In a way you reassure them as their ex lover couldn’t, I’m feeling as if this small gesture is what made them fall in love with you.
🦋 When you bake them a dessert and wait patiently for them to try, and at times you wish you could tell them, “I’m your dessert” and wink at them, but you’re too shy. They can tell and they love that part of you. Your shyness is the cutest thing for them and they would want that instead of you trying to be someone you’re not. (“So don’t change your personality and stop being ashamed of that part of yourself. But if you don’t like that part of yourself, then change, but don’t be harsh on yourself.” From my intuition).
Pile 2:
🌈 Your whole personality give me rainbow vibes, happy sunshine vibes but gloomy and grumpy when raining—so your person loves those mood swing because they feel needed when you want to cuddle or show love to them.
🌈 They like it when you twirl your hair or play with your hair when you’re in the mood, makes them tight and excited.
🌈 They absolutely adore it when you draw them something small, even if you aren’t the best artist, the way you think about drawing them makes their heart do backflips
🌈 They like that you’re a thinker, that you think deeply and a lot; you have so many ideas in that head of yours and you always share it with them. At times you don’t think they’re listening, but they are.
🌈 They love and absolutely adore it when you ask them for a high five, it’s a cute gesture for them and when you first asked them, they were shocked. Like what? I think now it has become a habit for the both of you when you do something you’re proud of because you blush when you get praise so this is another way you for to earn your praise without being a blushing mess.
Pile 3:
🎈 They love that you enjoy horror movies and gore (for some of you for the gore part). So I see them liking this because they used to be a horror lover but they were shame for it so they pushed it away and decided to go with the crowd. You seem to help them open that part of their life they closed.
🎈 This is a cute one, but I hear they like when you smile at them. Even if you assume you don’t have a cute smile and such, they completely disagree. If they were going through a bad time, smile for them and they will be happy for that whole day. “Your smile is contagious.”
🎈 They like that you take care of yourself as a hobby and that you prioritize yourself above others. For them, this is the hottest thing ever and I hear some of you feel slightly insecure about it, you shouldn’t, it’s natural and a good thing:).
🎈 I also see they like that you’re this troupe “I hate everyone but you.” You seem to show a lot of love for them despite not enjoying other people presence and sometimes it melts their heart because you chose them. You could’ve chosen anyone but it was them. It’s a slight ego thing, but at the same time it makes them very happy !!
Pile 4:
🦖 I see them enjoying when you speak about dinosaurs, Star Wars, colossals (I’m guessing something to do with aot), space and technology, the stereotypes of a “nerd”, but anyways they love it and I hear (if you haven’t met them yet) they will tease you about being a nerd but it’s not in a malicious nature
🦖 I see the both of you watching television and cuddling together on your couch with a huge blanket that is draped over the both of you, with popcorn on the coffee table. They love when the both of you spend quality time together, which is your love language or at least one of them. Anyways, they love it when you snuggle with them or put your head on their lap/shoulder, they love taking care of you and it makes them feel loved.
🦖 They like it when you ask them for help even when it’s the smallest things. They don’t think you are someone who’s stupid (some of you feel that way when you ask for help hence here is the reassurance), they love it because their love language is acts of service. They feel needed and wanted, as well as it makes them happy. Actually, I’m getting their whole vibe might Sanji from One piece, if you haven’t seen it, pretty much he is a hopeless romantic who is a chef on a pirate ship. He is always helping around but also ogling at other girls and giving them special treatment. Now, your lover won’t ogle at others, my intuition is aiming at them just giving you special treatment more than others even before you started to date.
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remiratboi · 20 days
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Part 4 of my fluffy lil yandere half orc story. Hope you enjoy!
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
After that day on the beach, Ollie became significantly more protective of you. More possessive. He was always around you. He brought you coffee and breakfast, he fixed little things around the cabin for you, he planned activities for you both to do.
You wouldn’t have thought him a hardcore hobby guy, but he took you rock climbing, and snorkelling. He took you to a local pottery studio, he brought you to the library in town. He always had you doing something.
It was starting to drive you crazy.
You had wanted to relax?! Not that you didn’t enjoy the activities, and his company, but it never stopped. You were on vacation. You had planned to lie on the beach for two months straight, eating, drinking, and probably smoking a lot of weed. Now here you were, sober, and painting in the woods.
You felt guilty. This was a beautiful activity, and you were genuinely enjoying it. But it just hadn’t been what you planned for. You would have loved a few things here and there, but not every day, all day long.
You decided to tell him that evening. The painting class ended, and you were actually pretty pleased with your work. It was a life painting of the little waterfall and pond the class had been set up next to. You weren’t anything special, but you were proud of it nonetheless.
Ollie jumped into his old, open jeep and carefully placed both of your paintings behind his seat. He leaned across the bench seat to offer you his hand. He pulled you up onto the bench like you weighed nothing. It’s something he must have done 100 times by now, but every single time, you blushed like a fool.
“You’re not heavy, you know.” Ollie broke the silence as you headed back to the camp.
“… what?” You asked, confused.
“You always look so worried after I help you into the car.” He glanced at you then back to the road. “You’re not heavy.” He stated matter of factly
You blushed again. He had no idea.
“Oh, yeah, I guess I’m worried about that.” You lied lamely. You’d always been bad at lying. You chewed on your lip.
His brows furrowed slightly. “Ok, so if that’s not it,” His voice was smooth and deep. He didn’t speak much. Even now. He mostly used basic gestures to communicate. But sometimes, when you were alone, he’d talk. You loved it. More than you probably should have. A warmth spread from the centre of you and radiated out. “what is it then?” He continued, pulling you out of your own thoughts.
“Uh, what is what then?” You replied, hoping he’d drop it if you pretended not to understand.
“Why do you blush so hard every time you get in my vehicle?” He asked. There was no getting around that one.
You sighed to yourself. Do you tell him? What the hell, you thought to yourself. What does it matter if he thinks you’re a horny slut? He’s just some guy you’re going to see for another month and a half, then never again. Who cares… right?
“I… gods this is embarrassing,” you started. You saw his one eyebrow raise. “It’s… ok… it’s hot as fuck, ok?” You forced out. You could feel how warm your cheeks were. This was worse than you thought it would be. You cared more than you liked.
“… what’s hot?” He asked slowly. You died a little. Of COURSE he was going to make you spell it out.
“Omg Ollie, I just… I’m not… small alright? So having a very attractive man casually lift me like it’s nothing?” You stared out the open window, unable or unwilling to look at him. “That’s really hot.”
He nodded slowly beside you. You could see in your peripheral that his cheeks had also darkened.
“Is it hot because any man is lifting you, or because I’m lifting you?” He finally asked.
Jesus Christ
“You know,” you started, your voice an octave too high. “I REALLY haven’t given it much thought.”
It was silent in the car for a long time.
Finally you couldn’t take it anymore. “So…”
He didn’t look at you. His knuckles were white on the wheel.
“So what are we doing tonight?” You asked.
“Nothing.” He replied, too quickly. Your heart fell. Here it was. Just like always.
You were quiet the rest of the drive. He dropped you off at your cabin. Normally he’d jump out and open your door for you. Not tonight. Had you really read him that wrong?
You shut the door behind you and turned around to speak. Before you could he shifted the gear and drove slowly away.
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rosesnbooks · 2 months
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✨Leo placements✨
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disclaimer: i am not a professional and i write this posts for fun, so keep that in mind love
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☀️sun in leo - these people have big hearts and they love, love attention. however, i have noticed that even though some like attention most of the time, others prefer it in an environment they can control, such as on stage, where they have rehearsed and know about the possible outcomes. they like to take care of themselves and enjoy life. they also love to spoil those they love, and their love is bright and warm. most of them are very creative and especially talented in one domain that they pursue bravely, such as cooking or writing. people notice them wherever they go, and they seem approachable and a little intense. what i mean by that is they seem excited and loud, which is lovely but too much for some people. this isn't true for all of them though; some can be shy to a certain degree when you meet them. they love talking and making people laugh, and this fuels them. they need people in their lives and cannot spend too much time alone. some time is needed for retrospect, which they usually use. they hate failing because it impacts them greatly, but many of them try to process this and continue like nothing happened. unless it is regarding matters of the heart, then it takes more time to get over someone
🌝moon in leo - they like to see the best in people, and sadly many of them get disappointed with time, but there's a part of them that never gives up on people. they are very sensitive deep down and can get hurt easily. their ego truly is an issue, but if they recognize this and work on it, they can develop healthy relationships with others and themselves. they are very creative, and when they focus on their tasks and things they love, they can excel at them and don't stop until what they're working on is up to their standards. they are curious about many things, which is why they may start a hobby and then disregard it with time if their heart wasn't really in it. when they are angry, they can be really harsh and impulsive, similarly to aries, but i feel like they feel sorry about it more than aries because whatever they said to you remains ingrained in their memory. some of them tend to be selfish because their own happiness and worries are their main priority, which isn't bad per se, but it can get out of hand. they hate to waste time and feel like their life has no purpose or impact. i noticed that they have a competitive nature, even when playing games...they just love winning.
🌼ascendant/rising in leo - vibrant, brave, optimistic, and a bit intense people at first glance. they have a strong hunger for happiness and passion. people mostly like them, but some have mixed opinions since some can feel overwhelmed by their energy and self-love. nevertheless, many appreciate their lively nature, and they are easily noticed wherever they go. even if you don't see them momentarily, you'll hear them because they are often loud and like to talk. they might have issues with overindulging in things like binge eating or spending too much money. they can have a strong desire to lead, and if not, they still want to contribute greatly to something and see their influence. they put effort into their looks if they have the time and money because they want to present themselves in the best light (for themselves and others). people usually notice them by their hair, and i'd also like to add that their eyes are very sparkly and focused, and that they may have really quick mannerisms.
🌻mercury in leo - quite expressive when they talk! humor is important to many of them, and they love people who can make them laugh. many tend to speak fast as well. their comedic timing is really good. if underdeveloped, they can be bad listeners and only want to focus on themselves and when it's their turn to talk. they also tend to have a smile on their face most of the time when speaking, just my personal observation. people are charmed by the way they communicate; they cannot help but feel warm. this placement is really passionate about various topics, and it is interesting to listen to them. they often like telling stories, and it feels like you're watching a movie play out because they are really into it and dramatic. there's a lot of passion in their speech, and while it can be over-the-top for some, many enjoy it. honestly, they are so cute. a downside could be their stubborn nature, which may limit their worldviews or general views on some things. they may seem carefree, but they are not, so approach them with kindness and respect.
⭐venus in leo - they love romance and are very loyal and dedicated partners. they need lots of excitement and adoration in their relationship to remain happy. being with someone who takes life too seriously, doesn't praise them enough, and is not really active as a person is a big no for this placement. they love praising people and giving them thoughtful gifts and watching your face light up when you open them. you'll feel super special with them if they think highly of you. they can get crushes from time to time, but if they love you and want to commit, it is harmless. they are very loving toward their friends and are loud about their affections. basically, they adore all love languages, but primarily quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch would be their top three (in my humble opinion). they also love going places with their loved ones because they have lots of energy and curiosity, and it's really fun to do anything with them. i'd also add that besides leo risings, i've found that leo venus also have curly or generally luscious hair.
♌mars in leo-very bold and a bit stubborn. they need to be active and pursue what they love in order to remain healthy and happy. they are go-getters and they love to spread their positive energy. their stamina is very good. despite their impulsive nature, they are very focused on their goals and try their best to be great. they often get what they want and might really dislike when things don't go their way, but they never give up. may be too stuck in their own ways without seeing the big picture or other perspectives, so they need to be more open-minded because this will help them achieve their goals and form healthier relationships. they are immensely proud of their achievements and especially of the things their loved ones achieved. they can get carried away by their passions, no matter how hard they try not to. their sweetness shines in this placement as well because they truly want to be friends with everyone. lastly, if you're their person, they will be extremely loyal to you
⚡saturn in leo—they may struggle with being more optimistic, putting themselves first, and taking leading roles in any area of their life. they can care too much about what people think or might think about them, so they need to snap out of it. they can be very strict with themselves and quit before even trying things out. just do it, hun; the only way out is through (sadly, but yeah). they are very capable people who already have everything they need within themselves, so trying things out even when scared can bring them lots of luck and, honestly, a better life. putting yourself out there doesn’t mean being vain, pathetic, or needy if you’re not hurting anyone in the process. this placement wants recognition deep down, but they remove themselves from such situations. i'm here to tell you that you’ll survive this and that you won’t lose your individuality in the process. you’ll gain confidence and naturally attract the people who are right for you. on the bonus side, they are often careful and responsible.
🏆jupiter in leo—people with this placement shine brightly when they are in the spotlight. they want to enjoy life and pursue their passions, and the happiness they feel during these moments is contagious. they are generous and inspiring, so many people admire them and feel influenced by them. their generosity is also admirable and fulfilling for them. they can thrive in creative environments and in those where they can express themselves. they are also often good with kids and expressing their childlike nature, which helps them enjoy life and see things more positively. basically, focusing on themselves and others is what brings them luck and joy. they have leadership potential, and at the end of the day, they want someone to recognize their efforts, kindness, and talent, and give them lots of love.
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thank you for reading!💛🧡
©rosesnbooks
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bloodwrittenletters · 25 days
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LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!
pairing . . . jason grace x fem!reader
the cassette playing . . . so american! olivia rodrigo
the letter reads . . . some headcanons about you and your cute boyfriend: jason grace!
warnings . . . none!
a/n . . . i literally can't write anything to save my life these few days, so jason grace headcanons! this beautiful blonde boy deserves more love.
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✴ he's the type of guy who would ask "can i be your boyfriend?"
✴ even before you started dating, he would go OUT OF HIS WAY (and everyone else's) to give you what you wanted.
✴ learns an specific type of hair routine to help you.
⤷ would ask piper, hazel, or annabeth for hair care products or how to take care of your hair type.
✴ the moment you guys start dating, all of his closet is yours.
⤷ you eventually start to feel bad and tell him he can also wear your clothes if he wants, a week later you find him wearing your pink top.
⤷ "i got stuck, but i look way too hot in this... can you help me take this off?"
✴ everything he makes in arts and crafts, he shows it to you.
⤷ half of the time, it's jewelry for you. the other half is for percy and leo.
✴ if you ever get in a discussion with one of his bros, he looks like a sad puppy for having to pick a side. but he always picks yours.
✴ whenever he goes to new rome alone, he comes back with millions of gift for you.
⤷ that either made him think of you, or thought it would be something you like.
✴ has shared a playlist with you.
⤷ before he asked you out, he made three playlists. "songs that would be ours if we were dating. / songs that remind me of her. / songs about one-sided pinning."
✴ he was surprised when he found out you also had a crush on him.
✴ supports everything you do. (sports, hobbies, etc etc)
✴ this man will 100% have a shoe box of things you gifted him, going from a chocolate wrap to comfort him when he first came to chb to glasses with little lighting bolts.
✴ if someone hits on him / ask him out (didn't know / didn't care he has a girlfriend) jason has two options:
⤷ "no, thanks. although my girlfriend would love to be your friend, have you met her yet?"
⤷ "no. i'm deeply in love with my girlfriend, have you seen how pretty she is? i bought her this bookmark yesterday."
✴ never really liked valentines day or any other holiday since it wasn't celebrated in camp jupiter, but goes all out with you in each one.
⤷ dress up with you for halloween if it's something you want to do, fills every room with hearts and flowers and takes you out in special dates for valentines day, plans your chritsmas gifts months ahead.
✴ if you have herritage ( or are ) from a different culture, he would learn everything and more.
⤷ makes sure that he respects it and honors it. learning your home language, learning your favorite foods, learning your history etc etc.
✴ he burns an extra piece of food for your godly parent.
✴ helps you with homework / does it with you.
✴ loves doing double dating.
⤷ your favorite one has been hazel and frank. his favorite one has been percy and annabeth.
⤷ if the second one happens, you and annie feel like the third wheel of their bromance.
✴ he doesn't have a good relationship with his dad, and... his mom is dead, so he introduces you to thalia, apollo, and maybe hera. also with all of your other friends.
⤷ "guys, this is yn."
⤷ "are you forgetting that i've known half of them longer than you have? did your amnesia came back?
⤷ "the voices in your head are getting louder, my love."
✴ that man LOVES pet names. specifically the original ones he comes up with for you.
✴ he loves to gossip with you.
✴ he is SO FUNNY. we have to stop pretending he's not.
✴ for your anniversary he would probably make you a memory book of your whole relationship.
✴ "i love you, good night, dear."
⤷ "are you staying with me? isn't that against the rules?"
⤷ "screw the rules. good night, my love."
✴ you're one of the few ones allowed to use his sword.
✴ loves matching outfits with you.
✴ he said, 'i love you' first. it was an accident when the two of you were in the middle of fighting monsters, and it just slipped.
✴ has your initials in a chain around his neck.
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pink3princess · 1 year
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john wick x reader hc/ramble
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cw/tw: um..a little silly, a little goofy, a little fluff, age gap ( reader is 20+, John is in his 40’s), mentions of tattoos, gn!reader
an: I’m in my keanu reeves era; also this gif makes me dizzy🥴😵; anyways enjoy whores
masterlist
first of all heS GENTLE I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS HES MY POOKIE BEAR CUDDLE MUFFIN
oh my god his hugs :(
i just need to lay down on his chest and for him to rub his hand up and down my back reassuringly after a long day >:(
he loves when you scratch his beard like a dog(is this weird lol) he finds it so domestic and intimate
ok so...he’s old, so let’s imagine he stayed out of the crime world… he has such old guy hobbies its so cute (he's beekeeping age yk)
he’s into gardening, he's in a band (bassist duh), he fixes up cars and motorcycles
the first time you noticed his back tattoo was when you two went swimming for the first time together
you didn't want to be a creep, but you had to stop yourself from drooling over it the rest of the day
you actually had to stop yourself from licking him head to toe like a popsicle but
speaking of tattoos, he LOOOOVES when you trace his back tattoo; if he can't sleep and you start to trace the pattern, he just melts
and if you have tattoos, he loves to do the same to you
he'll kind of lull you to sleep like that, taking his time with light kisses in between
on another note...i bet he does the 'dad on a vacation snoring so loud he has shaken then entire room awake' snore
and when you get woken up by said snore you're a little annoyed, but whenever this happens you just move to the guest room
after moving to the guest room and getting settled down, you get woken up ....again, only to see this BIG SCARY 6 FOOT ASSASSIN curled up next to you under the covers, hugging your waist as if you were a stuffed animal he couldn't sleep without :(
and you're like "...i actually came in here to remove myself from you-"
he's creeps around the house very quietly, almost like a ghost (unintentionally)
you could be doing laundry, folding the clothes and when you turn around to put them away, he's just there in the doorway like 🧍‍♂️ scaring the life out of you
once you two move in together, he'll gift you a dog :( like you're own little family :(
assuming that reader is in their 20's and john is in is 40's, how could you possibly pass up any opportunity to make old man jokes about him <3
" you know, in a couple of years i get to put you in the old folks home..."
"yeah right🙄, i'd like to see you try honey"
he takes care of you in every way; he makes sure you take your meds, and that you eat at least three meals a day; small everyday things like that :(
if you fail a big test or have a bad day at work he's waiting for you at home with a tub of icecream and ready to spoil you with affection
even tho he's a man of very little words, he'll know exactly what to say to make you feel better with words of praise and affection :(
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