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#hobbies or life skills or a job
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#this is gonna be so tmi sorry i’m advance but#how am i supposed to deal with having a body and every mental illness and stomach problems and throat problems and being ugly and having no#hobbies or life skills or a job#i need to find a job but i also have to deal with my stomach and my throat so i can be well enough to actually move my body to find a job#but i don’t have much money left so i can’t focus on those things either so i’m spending literally hours a day in the bathroom and it hurts#to speak#and i don’t want to feed myself i don’t want to take my meds i don’t want to do anything but get high which also physically hurts also bc#throat#and i have to do PT everyday so i can shit better but i also need to find a job so i can’t waste silly energy on things like that but then i#can’t get a job because i feel like shit and am shitting literally all the fucking time#and obviously the logical thing should be to just take care of my health today so i can be good to#tomorrow to find a job right? wrong actually! tomorrow it’ll be something’s#and the day after that#n the day after that#and every day after that one too!#but no one is actually willing to help me with anything because i am a 1 dimensional human being who spawned yesterday who has never heard#of things like “’building tenacity’ and ‘having structure’ there’s actually nothing wrong with me i’m just lazy i guess!#but if i wanna kill myself that’s wrong and bad and needs to be stopped immediately#other people seem to look at suicidal people and go ‘i have no reason to want to kill myself so other people just need to push it through :)#thug it out lol’ and it’s like actually these are very good reasons to want to die#i have spent the last 9 years actively in treatment actively working on myself actively trying to build a better life#it has only gotten worse#don’t talk to me about getting over to the other side. i’m on it. it’s just as bad as every other one of the sides#life doesn’t ever get better for some people and just because that wasn’t true for you and your life did get better doesn’t mean other#peoples lives every will get better. like it is straight up not possible for me to have a better life. and i know this for a fact because if#it was#i would have it now and i would have had it for a while
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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girlscience · 1 year
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I really hate that there is something about me that is just so.... infantilizable. I have had a lot of friends do it, I'll say or do something and they'll just go "ohhhh lee.... noo" in like a patronizing baby voice. like I'm just silly or stupid or too innocent to know what's going on. Or like I brought pancakes for lunch today, which seems like an okay lunch to me, but my coworker told me I eat like a baby.
#there have been so many people my whole life who have been worried about me being unable to live on my own#people who think I am a danger to myself#people who think all my hobbies are childish#people who think my home is decorated childishly#people think I don't dress adult enough#I have the artistic skills of a 12 year old#I have been on less than 5 dates in my life have not kissed anyone have not had sex#find a lot of things about relationships and sex wildly uncomfortable in a way a lot of other people don't#I feel incapable of having real deep long term relationships#all my life people have told me 'ohhh you are so good with kids!!' and i'm not really#i just like all the same things they do#2 of my cousins are 13 and 16 and i get along better with them than any other family members because i have the same interests and hobbies#as two teenage boys... but the thing is that's been true since they were like 10#and now that they are teens suddenly they are doing things i haven't even done and it's like they are becoming grown and i'm still not#I don't know. I am an adult. I have a full time job. I have my own apartment. I pay my own bills#but i still like the things i did when i was 12#and i don't like it when people are mean for no reason#and i don't know that i'm super trusting but i definitely believe people when they tell me things#and so i think i just come off almost naive or innocent or dumb#i am constantly telling my family 'so and so said this!' and they'll go 'that's not true' or 'they made that up' or some other thing#and I end up going 'well that's just what they told me!!' and they're like '*deep sigh* we know lee'#it just... it just SUCKS
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six-of-ravens · 7 months
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vague list of hobbies I could/should take up:
(* = I have all the materials I just have to Do the thing)
knitting/crochet*
embroidery*
cross stitch* (that kit i bought months ago is still rotting in a drawer somewhere lol)
tambour embroidery
jewelry making* (well, would need to buy some stuff, but i have some supplies leftover form my teenage obsession with it)
bookbinding
leatherworking
painting (used to be super into drawing/painting but I burnt out after college and basically gave it up)
get Really Really into cooking/baking (as opposed to my current "I can basically follow a recipe" level)
sculpting??
miniatures???
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reputayswift · 2 years
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I know we like to joke about editing/gifmaking ultimately being a “useless” hobby (and I wholeheartedly encourage having completely “unprofitable” hobbies!!) but it really is a great gateway into understanding layers and masking and blending modes and just generally getting familiar with art and design programs!
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sarabyfleetwoodmacmp3 · 5 months
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💭
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bookished · 9 months
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HOW TO GIVE PERSONALITY TO A CHARACTER
Giving personality to a character is an essential part of character development in storytelling, whether you're writing a novel, screenplay, or creating a character for a role-playing game. Here are some steps and considerations to help you give personality to your character:
Understand Their Backstory:
Start by creating a detailed backstory for your character. Where were they born? What were their childhood experiences like? What significant events have shaped their life? Understanding their past can help you determine their motivations, fears, and desires.
2. Define Their Goals and Motivations:
Characters often become more interesting when they have clear goals and motivations. What does your character want? It could be something tangible like a job or a romantic relationship, or it could be an abstract desire like happiness or freedom.
3. Determine Their Strengths and Weaknesses:
No one is perfect, and characters should reflect this. Identify your character's strengths and weaknesses. This can include physical abilities, intellectual skills, and personality traits. Flaws can make characters relatable and three-dimensional.
4. Consider Their Personality Traits:
Think about your character's personality traits. Are they introverted or extroverted? Shy or outgoing? Kind or selfish? Create a list of traits that describe their character. You can use personality frameworks like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or the Big Five Personality Traits as a starting point.
5. Give Them Quirks and Habits:
Quirks and habits can make a character memorable. Do they have a specific way of speaking, a unique fashion style, or an unusual hobby? These details can help bring your character to life.
6. Explore Their Relationships:
Characters don't exist in isolation. Consider how your character interacts with others. What are their relationships like with family, friends, and enemies? These relationships can reveal a lot about their personality.
7. Show, Don't Tell:
Instead of explicitly telling the audience about your character's personality, show it through their actions, dialogue, and decisions. Let the reader or viewer infer their traits based on their behavior.
8. Create Internal Conflict:
Characters with internal conflicts are often more engaging. What inner struggles does your character face? These can be related to their goals, values, or past experiences.
9. Use Character Arcs:
Consider how your character will change or grow throughout the story. Character development is often about how a character evolves in response to the events and challenges they face.
10. Seek Inspiration:
Draw inspiration from real people, other fictional characters, or even historical figures. Study how people with similar traits and backgrounds behave to inform your character's actions and reactions.
11. Write Dialogue and Inner Monologues:
Writing dialogue and inner monologues from your character's perspective can help you get inside their head and understand their thought processes and emotions.
12. Consider the Setting:
The setting of your story can influence your character's personality. For example, a character who grows up in a war-torn environment may have a different personality than one raised in a peaceful, affluent society.
13. Revise and Refine:
Don't be afraid to revise and refine your character as you write and develop your story. Characters can evolve and change as the narrative unfolds.
Remember that well-developed characters are dynamic and multi-faceted. They should feel like real people with strengths, weaknesses, and complexities. As you write and develop your character, put yourself in their shoes and think about how they would react to various situations. This will help you create a compelling and believable personality for your character.
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got7-l · 9 months
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Me literally 3 days into the semester: do I really need a second degree. Am I actually passionate about urban planning and want a career in it or can I be happy working a "regular job" amd save myself the extra thousands of dollars of tuition. Or am I just overwhelmed.
will I ever actually be passionate about a career? It seems that as soon as something becomes work I lose my interest in it. Will I be better off getting any office job and using my money to pursue my passions outside of work?
I thought going back to school would be good, I'd be busy and have stuff to do etc but now the idea of going through years more of schooling seems incredibly daunting (and expensive). And I'm wondering if it's really worth it.
I wonder if I made the decision to go back to school simply because I was afraid of coming home from spain with no job or work prospects in line and felt that I absolutely needed something to do when I got back.
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diomedrian · 11 months
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Almost two years at my job and I still don't know who I want to be, what I want to do. I got lazy I got annoyed I got carried away and never paid attention to it. Now I want to change jobs, change places, change everything and it's difficult. It'll be slow, it's ok if it's slow. I hate it when things are slow.
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emeraldlabyrinth · 1 year
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The Difference Between a Book-lover and a Bookseller
Amongst the echoes of the sea, there are pearls to be found. A man who only has a love for books like pearls may try to become a bookseller. However he will soon find himself unsuccessful and wonder where he went wrong.
Pottery so soothing and bewitching. Has captivated your heart and you cherish all of your pottery, you may have even tried your hand at potter once or twice. Does this mean you should become a potter? Not really. A potter must love the art. The feeling of shaping the clay under your finger, relishing the science behind the furnace, and the strange chemistry behind glazes.
Honey is so delicately delicious, you may have a wide selection of clover, lavender, wildflower, chocolate whipped, and so much more. Though you most likely won't even try your hand at this one. You may simply smile and say "Man I really appreciate the work beekeepers do!"
Not being a potter or a beekeeper does not make one love pottery any less or honey any less.
So if its not for the love of books, what is it for? It is for the love of people, after all it is their minds who have created these books. Booksellers know the way to sweep through the oceans to bring you satchels of the finest pearls. They live for the hunt, pride themselves in knowing the all right books to recommend and enjoy debating with you about your most recent book.
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kelseytheballerina · 10 months
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what comes after level 0? like, level 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; etc.
Level 0 is getting yourself to a base level of daily self discipline, taking care of your health and appearance, and having things to do besides scrolling all day. The bare minimum of feeling good about yourself long term and being a functioning person.
Level 1 is to figure out what’s wrong with your life and come up with a tangible and measurable plan on how to fix it. What to cut out, what to invite in, how long it’ll take to save up for xyz, what credit score you need for such and such, what habits need to be dropped immediately, etc. Figuring out how to go from who you are now to the early stages of who you want to be. Level 1 is coming to terms with who and are and what you want, doing the research, and making a game plan. It's making sure you don't keep sliding backwards. Why is this level 1 and not level 0? Bc when people are in a subpar place, taking an audit of how they’ve failed themselves leads to more despair and a feeling of hopelessness. People who have gotten themselves to a semblance of health and daily discipline will do this and feel revved up for a challenge.
If you’ve been working out every day, eating well, taking care of your looks, enjoying your hobbies and taking 30 minutes to build a skill you’ve always wanted to learn, you’re gonna be feeling great. And when it’s time to sit down and apply for new jobs it won’t feel as daunting. When it’s time to sit down and write that essay, it won’t be as hard. When you decide to start saving $200 a month, you’ll be excited about it instead of feeling deprived. Level 1 is a very short level and you shouldn't be here for long at all.
Level 2 and up will vary greatly from person to person as it's about putting your money where your mouth is and really putting in work. No more info hoarding, no more restless nights trying to figure out what you want. It's go time. It could include more schooling, working, rebranding yourself, putting yourself out there, not buying new clothes or eating out bc you're saving money hardcore, ramping it up at the gym, or whatever else you planned out. You stfu and do the work. It's uncomfortable bc you won't allow your brain to sabotage you into stopping. You're becoming a new person. Level 2 will likely last a long time since rome wasn't built in a day and whatever you're trying to accomplish will probably take a fair amount of work.
Level 3+ is simply when you are reaching milestones and you are able to assess where you are and see what lies ahead. You have to replan, reformulate, and get back to work. You have to decide if you should keep this job or accept that new offer you just got and weigh out the pros and cons of each. You have to push a bit harder to firmly cement yourself into the next area rather than remain a newbie. At this point, you're a bit of an authority figure. You know what you're doing and you've been at it for a while. This is totally your new normal. This is just your life now.
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kaibutsushidousha · 2 months
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Kodaka April Fools tweets 2024
Lying just because it's April Fools' is so dull. Honestly painful to watch. Lying in general doesn't do you any good. In my younger days, I told every lie I could, saying some genuinely insane stuff about being a supreme leader of evil and whatnot, and thanks to that, now that I'm in my thirties, I got famous for all the wrong reasons and can't find a stable job because people think I'm associated with the yakuza... Sigh, I wanna deck my cringe younger self's face. Quit lying for fun while you can.
My classmates aren't doing great either. Thinking you're hot shit during your school days always comes back to bite you... My advice to my past self: slow and steady effort is worth more than any talent. Also, the part of life you spent larping with that silly horse laugh is not going to be one you'll want to remember later. I wish I could make that clear to him. White lies aren't a thing. Talent is never enough. My class is proof of that. Wanna know what my classmates are like now that we're in our thirties?
Akamatsu became a piano teacher. Her player skills capped off in her teens, it seems. But she's not that good at teaching so she's considered kinda mid at her job. And now she's struggling with the father of a student incessantly hitting on her. Tough world to live in.
Toujou opened a housekeeping company but she was too strict with her employees so everyone quit. And now she's doing everything on her own. Sucks to be in your thirties without any successors or employees. She's a prime example of how being so much better than anyone else doesn't do you any good. Well, she's always working for celebrities, so she's doing well financially, but I heard about some major court fight about a missing item under suspicion of theft from one of her clients. That can't be nice.
Yumeno got to her thirties still saying magic is real, so she's past the point of no return. She agrees that's an unhinged way to live, but she's too old to suddenly change gimmicks. Work takes her all over the country, but her gimmick doesn't allow her to publicly drink, so she has to get plastered alone in her hotel room after shows. I wish she could fix her life with real magic.
Harukawa? ...Haven't heard that name in a long time. Now she was a living edgy fantasy. The past tense was because I hadn't heard of her in a long time. I don't know the details, but apparently, she went to some war zone outside of Japan because her first love didn't want to date her. Takes some real edgelord to react to a broken heart like that, but if she's still alive, I have no idea how her thirties are treating her. My personal guess is that she's a mother of many.
Chabashira opened her Aikido school but is having a hard time attracting students. So she had the idea of starting an anti-sexual-harassment campaign that could double as advertisement, but thanks to her cluelessness when it comes to romance, she got canceled for mistakenly tossing men in regular couples. She's still doing the "degenerate males" bit in her thirties. Girl really needs to get on with the times. Rumor goes that she still downs huge packs of tequila bottles with Yumeno every now and then. Really don't think there's any salvaging her reputation.
Shirogane is an office lady still continuing her cosplay hobby on the side. She could be doing well if she knew how to keep her mouth shut but frequently rambles about cosplay history and etiquette, so no one likes having her around. Stay emotionally dependent on a single hobby long enough and your passion starts to close you off to others. That's her problem.
Angie was the most successful in the class! She made big money both on the art and the religion fronts. However, there were some controversies about her devotees selling counterfeits of her paintings at exorbitant prices and one magazine made a huge news coverage of it, which resulted in her catching the police's attention. She's been recently untraceable, with the rumors saying that she'll never be back to Japan.
Oh, and Iruma... Up until some point, she had the best life of all of us. She made big money off of her inventions' patents. So far so good. Things only started going off-rails after she married an ex-stripper. The two started a YouTube channel together. And later, her husband ran in last year's elections and lost big time. They got an awful debt from his election campaign and she had to get into side jobs to pay it off. And her husband? Disappeared. No word from Iruma herself about what happened. Tough world to live in.
No further updates from Kodaka in the past 3 hours, so I assume he went to sleep and will come back to tweet about the 7 remaining boys in the morning.
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em-dash-press · 7 months
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Practical Benefits of Creative Writing if You Need Some Motivation
Writing stories isn't just a hobby. It's a practice that sharpens so many skills. You'll use these skills all your life, so write that silly idea and let's start refining these talents that come from our work:
(Psst—this is where you should open that copy of your resume if you're also applying for jobs!)
Communication: You know how to use words to convey complex and simple ideas.
Emotional identification (for personal benefit, not so much standard careers): You'd be surprised how many people can't name or describe their emotions, much less make them something others can feel.
Thematic analyzation: You can find or create a common thread between wildly different people.
Community building: You can bring people together by making them feel things deeply.
Perspective shaping: You make others try on new perspectives through your characters and their challenge, which also points back to your communication skills.
Encouragement: You know how to make other people dream through your work.
Empathy: You remind readers they aren't alone in their experiences—we are all going through different versions of pain together.
Typing: Let's be real, every boss will think you're amazing if you can type with more than two fingers at a time (or with two fingers really fast!).
Time management: You're always finding ways to fit your writing into your schedule, even if it's only once a month.
Commitment: because that 100,000-word fanfic won't just appear on paper because you daydreamed about it.
Self-reliance: When you set a goal to write a story, you (mostly) finish it. All on your own!
A willingness to learn: Your editing and revising work keeps you open to growth opportunities, which is essential to being a good person/team member/employee.
Organization: Those folders with all your story ideas, character outlines, and plot arcs? That's a skill, my friend.
Creativity: You're in touch with your creative instincts, which brings vision to projects and team efforts that produce better results
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billfarrah · 3 months
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If you think Wille giving up the crown and freeing himself means he will continue to have no interests or hobbies or goals outside of being with Simon then you missed the entire point of the ending.
Wille was never given the luxury of choosing his own hobbies or his own interests because he always did what was expected of him. He was forced to take music lessons as a kid. He joined the rowing team because that’s what his brother did. He partook in royal duties in season 3 because he felt like he had to. He has no idea what he likes or what he wants to do because his life was always planned out for him, even more so when he became the crown prince.
When he frees himself from the expectations of the crown and his family at the end, he’s now free to figure out what he likes, what he wants to do, where he wants to go. The world is finally his oyster. He’s fucking 17-years-old. He has all the time in the world to figure it out. I didn’t have the pressure of the monarchy and I had literally zero clue what I wanted to do. Wille has all the time in the world to figure it out. He doesn’t have any practical skills, but he’s also literally 17-years-old. In what world does even a regular, everyday 17-year-old have any or all that are needed? I personally didn’t even get a job until I was 19 and didn’t enter my current career until I was 26. He has time.
By choosing himself, Wille also chooses Simon, because Simon is and always will be a part of him, but that doesn’t mean Simon will continue to be the only thing in his life. The ending of the series is also the beginning of a new chapter in Wille’s life - where everything is unwritten and the possibilities are endless.
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stuckinapril · 1 year
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how to feel like a person?
digital detox. if your phone was taken away, how much free time would you have? how empty would your day be? do you have things to do outside of scrolling endlessly on different apps? if you come to the realization that a lot of your time consists of being glued to your screen, you need to start considering incorporating no-phone time blocks into your day. a big part of our daily misery boils down to consuming so many things in 24 hours, to the point that we feel too burned out to do anything else that truly nourishes our body and soul.
establish a routine. discipline is so important for happiness. start out small—schedule your day, get consistent with your skincare routine, take daily walks—and then gradually add more and more things. don’t try to revamp your life all at once. that’s a surefire way to quit altogether. be realistic about your limits, but also push yourself where appropriate so you don’t stay static.
journal. mentalize your feelings. don’t suppress your emotions. be curious about your thought processes and what makes you tick. always be self-compassionate, but hold yourself accountable where it’s due.
start pursuing hobbies. make a list of all the things that interest you and try them out. there are so many things out out there; one of them is bound to stick. don’t go into it with the negative mindset that you know you wouldn’t like doing x and y. some things you might know in your heart are not for you, but don’t rule out possibilities you’re ambivalent about. be open-minded and see finding your interests not as a chore, but as an exciting prospect.
practice gratitude. this is such a popular advice bc it works. start off your day by listing 3 things you’re grateful for. it’s crazy how so many people don’t realize it’s a blessing to just be alive, when so many people get robbed of their lives so early on. i’m not saying to never shoot for more, but having a foundation of contentment goes a very long way.
have a solid set of friends, but march your own march. you don’t need anybody; you just want them. same thing with friends. friends are good for us because we are a social species, but if one person were to leave your life, it’s not the end of the world. your life is already colorful, filled with so many things you’re doing for yourself—furthering your career, improving on your skills, working on your fitness—that a person leaving shouldn’t be detrimental. never be so dependent on someone you can’t envision a life without them. you need to make your life exciting on your own; you can’t have someone else doing all the heavy lifting for you.
have an abundance mindset. if one thing fails, that just leaves room for something better to take its place. you are always bound to find better. there are 8 billion people in this world. there are countless different possibilities. failure or loss does not mean it’s game over for you.
see pain as a learning experience. true growth spurts do truly come from heartbreak or failure. it teaches us to pick ourselves back up and try again. always have a growth mindset. that relationship didn’t work out? now you know what to avoid for the next relationship. you’re single again? now you get to focus on and learn more about yourself. that friendship ended? at least you won’t waste any more time on someone who doesn’t value having you in their life. you didn’t get that job? that leaves the door open for other possibilities. you didn’t get the score you wanted? now you know what to work on to do better next time.
action-directed things to improve your self-esteem. you can sit in your room all day and tell yourself you’re the best thing since sliced bread and everyone’s obsessed with you, but truly building up your self-esteem comes not only from thinking positive things about yourself, but also acting on them. work on things you care about. work on yourself as a person. love who you are, but also strive for self-improvement. do things that can act as proof—to you—for why you’re worthy. it’s a game changer.
dispense of the victim-of-life mentality. it’s safe to dwell in your misery and keep blaming things on factors out of your control, but where would that get you? it’s just resulting in you expending your energy needlessly. stop seeing life as jumping from tragedy to tragedy. actively fight against your negativity bias. recognize that for every bad thing that happens, 100 good things happen, but we as humans have a tendency of focusing only on the negatives. sort through your emotions, make peace with what happened, but pick yourself up and move on. the most valuable thing we all have on this planet is time. it’s limited and it will come to an end eventually. you don’t want to look back and resent yourself for not simply letting go of things and appreciating what you have around you.
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starlight-sev · 5 months
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Joy Looks Good on You (Snape x Artist!Reader)
Request: Snape with an artist reader- she makes gorgeous paintings, teaches an art class at Hogwarts (Bob Ross style, for reference). Doesn't have many students, but when he comes into her classroom its such a calming atmosphere. Maybe a short drabble about how he falls in love with her and her skill with paintings?
Requested by: anon
Warnings: none
A/N: this is more platonic than I had initially intended it to be, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!
Oh! Gender neutral reader as I always try my best to write 💕
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Hogwarts was home to many secrets, one of them being that the school offered painting classes as an elective for those in third year or higher.
Even you were shocked when you first heard about the job posting. You always figured art would be just a hobby of yours. When it came to jobs in the wizarding world, anything to do with art and painting was quite rare to find.
So when you were finally offered the job for art teacher at Hogwarts, to say you were overjoyed would have been an understatement. You never thought you’d be able to turn your love of painting into your career.
Dumbledore had placed you in the North Tower, just below Professor Trelawney’s Divination classroom. Compared to her room, yours was rather small: you only had to walk ten steps and you’d already be at the other side of the room. A handful of round tables with matching wooden chairs had been crammed into the tiny space. There was a small desk nestled in the corner for you to work, along with a shelf against the wall to store your paints and supplies.
Your favourite feature about the room, and perhaps one of its only redeeming qualities, was the large window in the middle of the wall. It was rounded at the top, with an ornate stained glass inlay that covered almost half the window. It was the source of your inspiration on sunny days.
It certainly wasn’t the nicest classroom, and sometimes a theory crossed your mind that your classroom had once been a generously-sized storage closet, but anything was better than being down in the dungeons of the castle.
You glanced up from your own painting to quickly sweep your eyes over the paintings your students were finishing up. You never had more than ten students a year, painting certainly wasn’t a common interest for wizards (much to your disappointment), but it didn’t matter. It gave you the opportunity to grow closer to your students, to get to know everyone’s individual art style. It made you all the more proud when you were able to see how much they progressed over the course of the year.
“Professor?”
You glanced over to see Luna Lovegood, one of your students with the biggest imaginations, waving politely to catch your attention.
“Yes?” You asked softly.
“We won’t have time to finish our paintings this class. I know we’re not supposed to, but since it’s Friday, could we leave our supplies out? We’ll be back first thing on Monday.”
A few other students murmured their agreement. You smiled apologetically, silently cursing that you had given them an assignment far bigger than they had time to complete.
“Of course. That’s fine.” You dismissed everyone with a wave of your hand. “Go on. Enjoy the weekend. And don’t worry about handing in your still life sketches this week, you’ve got enough on your hands with the landscape painting I assigned.”
A handful of cheers erupted among the students, and you smiled as each one nodded and murmured their thanks before leaving.
You stood up from your desk, walking across the room to collect everyone’s paintbrushes one by one.
“Letting your students go without cleaning up after themselves?” A deep voice murmured softly from the doorway. “I’m surprised Y/N, I thought you were more disciplined than that.”
It never failed to startle you, how Severus had this uncanny ability to sneak up silently on you. Usually you’d be able to hear students’ footsteps echoing as they made their way up the stairs to your classroom, but Severus seemed to be able to glide noiselessly around the castle like a ghost.
You set your paintbrushes in the small sink that rested in the corner of your room, smiling in acknowledgement and beckoning the professor to come in.
“It’s Friday,” you answered, grabbing a paintbrush and using your fingers to work the paint out of the bristles. “They’ve got enough going on, I figured I’d give them a bit of a break.”
You heard Severus scoff as he approached you from behind.
“You’re too easy on them.”
“And you’re too hard on your own students, but you don’t see me waltzing into your classroom to nag.”
That earned a soft chuckle from the professor as he stood beside you.
“You can use magic to clean those.” Severus observed, nodding toward your fingers as you worked the leftover paint out of the brush.
“I know I can,” you shrug, watching the water beneath the brush turn a bright turquoise. “But I prefer not to. Helps me clear my mind a bit.”
“Hm.” Was the small response you got in reply. To your surprise, Severus reached into the sink and grabbed a paintbrush, mimicking your movements as he began cleaning it.
“Oh,” you exclaimed softly. “It’s okay, I can do that-”
“Too late,” Severus retorted, casting a quick glance at you out of the corner of his eye. “I’ve already started.”
The two of you scrubbed brushes in silence, and you just barely caught Severus let out a small, tired sigh. As you placed your final brush to the side to dry, you glanced at him.
“Rough day today?”
You had to hold in your giggles as he answered your question with the biggest eye roll you’d ever seen.
“That’s putting it lightly,” he muttered.
“Come,” you beckoned as you sat down in one of the empty seats in the middle of the class. You nodded for Severus to join you as you crossed one leg over the other and leaned back in your seat. “Tell me about it. What happened? Was it Potter again?
You smirked at the eye roll Severus gave you in response before tiredly making his way over to the seat across from you.
“Someone’s been stealing supplies for a Polyjuice potion,” he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I have reasons to believe it’s Potter and his dunderhead friends.”
You bit back a smile, and raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think it’s him? Do you have evidence?”
“Trouble follows him wherever he goes, isn’t that evidence enough?”
You had trouble holding in a giggle, and Severus glared at you.
“He’s brewed Polyjuice potion before.” Severus continued. “It’s the only thing he can actually do well. And those specific ingredients keep going missing.”
You frown a little and shook your head.
“Really, Severus. I don’t know what you have against that boy, but you’ve got to give him a break,” you encouraged gently. “He’s got enough on his shoulders right now, with the Triwizard Tournament going on.”
“And what if he is stealing from my supplies?” Severus retorted.
“What if he isn’t?” You challenged calmly. Severus sighed again, shaking his head as he gazed at you.
“Should we place bets on whether it’s Potter who’s stealing from you?” You asked jokingly, leaning forward in your seat with a smirk. Severus pressed his lips together in a thin line.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because every damned time we make a bet, you win.”
You snickered at Severus’ remark, before standing up from your seat and placing your hand reassuringly on the professor’s shoulder. He looked up at you with dark eyes that warmed very slightly at your touch.
“I truly do not know how you always manage to see the good in people.” He murmured, sighing tiredly. You squeezed his shoulder lightly.
“I just… see the good in everything I guess.” You shrugged. “Even things that seem terrible can be beautiful, if they’re in the right lighting.”
Severus let out a little snort at your comment, shaking his head.
“C’mon grumpypants,” you teased lightly, patting your friend on the back. “I know what’ll cheer you up.”
You walked over to your desk and opened the far left drawer. Upon hearing the dull scrape of wood as the drawer pulled open, Severus looked over at you with the tiniest smile.
“Have you added any teas to your collection?” He asked. He kept a somewhat level expression, but you couldn’t help but grin at the hint of a hopeful tone in his voice.
“I went to Hogsmeade last weekend and got a few more. Some just for you. Come over here and pick one, I’ll put the kettle on.”
Severus stood up just as you moved to the corner of the room to fill the kettle. You noticed out of the corner of your eye how shadow-like he was: the way his cloak billowed slightly as he almost seemed to glide over to your desk.
You heard a few papers rustle as you filled the kettle, and that’s when your heart stopped.
Oh no, oh god no.
You forgot to move your sketchbook, bloody hell.
Maybe Severus was looking at something else, you thought to yourself. Maybe you misheard and he was only rifling through your tea stash-
“Is this… me?”
Nope. He found it. Shit.
You set the kettle down slowly, your hands trembling as you felt a rush of heat fly up to your cheeks.
“S-Sorry?”
You kept your eyes glued to the teacups on the small wooden countertop, trying your best not to cringe as you continued to hear pages being flipped over gently.
“Y/N…” Severus murmured. “You drew these?”
You chewed your lip, just about ready to sink through the floorboards at this point.
“Y-yes.” Your voice came out as a small squeak, barely even intelligible.
You squeezed your eyes shut as you heard gentle footsteps approach you from behind.
“Turn around,” Severus encouraged softly. Clenching your jaw, you tried to ignore the burning heat in your cheeks as you shuffled around to face Severus.
His dark eyes were swirling with so many emotions, you genuinely couldn’t tell what he was thinking. It terrified you. You looked down, and saw that he was holding one of your sketches in his hand.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I don’t show those to anyone, they’re just for me to practice with…”
“This is how you see me?”
You heard Severus‘ voice catch in his throat, and you looked up to see his features had softened into a gentle and almost sad expression. You lowered your gaze to his hands again, taking a closer look at the sketch he brought over.
It was from the Yule Ball a few months ago. You had sketched Severus during dinner after you saw him throw his head back in a hearty laugh, thanks to a dirty joke Professor Sprout had casually dropped at the staff table that night. You couldn’t remember the joke for the life of you, but you’d never forget the way Severus’ eyes lit up with a rare joy few ever saw. Nor would you forget the way his hair curled that night, perfectly framing his face and making him look almost angelic.
“Joy looks good on you.” You explained in the tiniest whisper, pressing your lips together nervously. “I… that was one of my first times seeing you laugh, and I just…”
You trailed off, silently cursing the fact that your face was still as red as ever. Finally, to your relief, Severus set your sketch down. But when you looked up at him, you noticed his eyes were glassy.
Was he… crying?
“Oh.” You gasp softly. “Oh no, I’m sorry. It’s a terrible drawing, I know-”
Severus shook his head. “Stop bloody apologizing. It’s beautiful. All your sketches are. I had no idea.”
“Well, you weren’t supposed to find out.” You muttered, laughing your nerves out softly. Your heart nearly stopped as Severus reached out, gently cradling your hands in his.
“Thank you.” He murmured quietly. “For… what you said.”
You frowned. “What did I say?”
“About… seeing the joy in me,” he replied. “That’s perhaps the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
Your heart sank as you took in Severus’ words. You looked up, your soft eyes meeting his dark ones.
“It’s true.” You said simply. “It doesn’t take an expert to see you’ve been through some real shit, Sev. You deserve to be happy.”
Severus froze at your words, unsure of what to do or how to react. Then, to your surprise, he took one more step forward and closed the distance between the two of you. He wrapped his arms around you, and you nearly gasped at how tightly he held you to him. You returned his embrace without hesitation, finally calming after the initial scare of Severus finding your sketches. He was warm. You could get used to this feeling.
“Thank you, Y/N.” You heard Severus whisper.
“For what?” You asked back just as softly.
“Showing me how you see the world. How you see… me.”
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