#I always feel proud of myself for solving something without a tutorial

[leafbracer98]

I only recently actually played it, but I really hope the Link’s Awakening Switch remake was popular enough that they do the Oracle games. I haven’t played them but they sound pretty fun. I doubt they would be able to explain why the game’s art style is the same, given awakening’s plot, but I think it could still work, especially if the Oracle games maybe had more anime style cutscenes? Idk, I’ve just really been enjoying Link’s Awakening, and I want to see more of that art and gameplay style (with the Quality Of Life updates that I know the switch remake had, specifically mapping items to buttons.)

[blushnik]

What kind of message would you give for beginners on drawing? Cause I'm getting frustrated how my work turn out.

Hi, hun!💙 I tried to sum it up but yeah... I’ve got a few things to say. So I drew pics cause who wants to read some long list with only text, right.

(small disclaimer: these are my own opinions and what works for me might not work for others, ALL of these are my tips from my own experience and is NOT a guide in any way. I’ve learned each one the hard way so I hope they help you.)

There are no shortcuts. Trying to take shortcuts will do more harm than good (i know this because I practiced gesture drawing for 2 years in the hope it will teach me how to draw bodies, spoiler alert: it did not. Anatomy does. Not gesture drawing)

What is it you want to draw the most? Faces? Do that. Don’t bother with human body, animals, perspective, landscape etc. When you feel like you’re decent in one, move onto the next topic (I’d suggest you don’t spend TOO much time on one though because you are gonna come back anyway. Learning these things is a circle, you only expand it over the time)

I am guilty of this one big time. I just wanted to jump right to the hard stuff but I can’t tell you enough HOW MUCH it’d make it easier & faster to improve if I already knew basics. I do recommend ProkoTV and their basics playlist on youtube (amazing channel, really and their podcast is MMM YES)

Please don’t be afraid to use references. EVERYONE uses reference pictures. Using reference pictures is NOT cheating, it’s the way you do it. How can you draw something if you don’t know how it looks like? Reference pictures not only make it easier for you but they make your art look better. Sure there are artists who just draw from their imagination on the fly but I guarantee, they are such master skill level already with such a wide visual library, they can afford it.

Reference pictures are your friends. Use reference pictures. Period.

References are great but they are gonna do you more harm than good IF you just copy the picture in front of you. Get multiple pictures of one thing. Observe how that object works, where the shadows are, how it changes depending on the angle. Don’t just draw. Think about what you draw.

Everyone makes mistakes. There are gonna be a lot of “bad” drawings before you do one good, just keep drawing. Don’t look at mistakes as a bad thing. Instead, try to learn from them. Which brings us to the next point:

If you create something and just dismiss it by “this looks like shit” and throw it away, you’ll never learn from your own mistakes. I suggest, you take a long hard look at it and pick ONE thing that bothers you the most, analyze why it happened and try to not repeat that mistake in the next drawing. You created something, be proud of yourself, accept the mistakes you did, work on them and don’t forget to pick something you really liked about the piece too!

Did you draw a portrait but you hate how lifeless it looks despite the fact you know how to draw faces? Good. You’ve spotted a mistake. Maybe give a little look at facial expressions and use that knowledge in your next piece.

Not everything you make has to be posted. Not everything needs to be a masterpiece. You should find time to simply experiment without high expectations. You may watch a lot of tutorials, you may create an entire “art plan” in your head but you’d be surprised how much stuff you’re gonna figure out by trial and error method. Free yourself and experiment. Even if it looks like someone took a big colorful dump on the paper, 90% of the time, you’ve learned something (a lot of times subconsciously too).

This one is hard. Like really hard. But inevitably, it will keep happening. For me, it’s once a month – 2 months. I feel pretty good with where my art is right now, I’m doing the best I can at the moment and then suddenly BAM. I draw like a kid in the kindergarten who has no freaking clue how to hold a pen. It usually takes a few days of trying (and crying) and then everything’s back online. Why the f-?

I saw a video and I don’t remember the name where they talked about this phenomenon. I was surprised how many people have it like this and they said it happens when you “level up” your art skill. When you “level up”, your brain thinks about the drawing differently, is more critical, knows the better way how to draw things but your hand simply isn’t catching up yet.

As much as drawing through these periods works most of the time, sometimes you feel like you just can’t. Like it physically and mentally hurts you to watch yourself fail over and over again. Take a step back, take a deep breath and go get some quality relax-time. Feel free to say “fuck drawing” for a day or two. Listen to some podcasts, watch some tutorials or art movies – that way you're still improving passively.

It’s 12:45 AM and you refuse to go to bed until you “fix that FKCING hand pose”. Please, go to bed. Chances are your brain is already offline from exhaustion and stress, you ain’t gonna solve any hands and any poses tonight. Go to sleep. Tomorrow, your mind will be clearer.

Learning to draw is already a hard long process. Don’t make it harder on yourself by ignoring your life and your needs in favor of improvement. Stay healthy my dude. It will reward you in the long run.

This is all I can think of for now, if anything comes to me, I’ll add it here. Always feel free to ask and thank you for asking me. 90% of the above was a reminder to myself too 💙 I hope this was helpful  💙 💙 💙

[georgiahnd2photography]

Personal Project

Evaluation

Georgia Gurney HND 1A

Action Plan

Due to the pandemic of Covid-19 I am unable to go through with my original idea as a lot of my photoshoots were planned for the studio and on location, I also needed models. Therefore, I created a new idea that is more efficient and I’m able to do given the circumstances. I decided to give myself a challenge and do something I don’t have a lot of experience in. My new idea was still life, I haven't got a lot of that in My Portfolio therefore I wanted to build on this.

I wasn't sure of what I was going to shoot however after research I decided to use older objects. In block 2 we had a brief where we had to bring in old objects and create a setting that fitted the object which I really enjoyed therefore I knew that I wouldn't mind doing a whole project on it.

Preparation and ongoing Research

I wanted to do still life however I didn't have any lighting equipment therefore I had to try and problem solve and find something that I could use instead. I originally was going to use just natural lighting but after research I found out that light painting still lives are a common thing. Personally, I did not think this was a style of photography therefore when I realised that it was, I quickly indulged in the world of still life light painting. After finding the objects and doing my first Recce shoot (photoshoot 1) I really liked the look of the texture and I was going to convey that throughout the whole project however I felt that it would be a little bit too repetitive. Furthermore, I decided to venture a little bit deeper and go through my loft in hopes of finding some potential objects that would be good enough for my 10 shoots. I found a lot of objects that had a lot of historical nostalgia and I knew they would make great focal points.

For the preparation of my photoshoots I had to take into consideration the lighting, this was my main concern as I needed complete darkness in the room that I was shooting in to ensure no extra light source would be ruining my shots. My room faces out into the forests therefore there were no streetlights I needed to worry about however the natural daylight was an issue. I decided that it would be best for me to shoot at night, this was also a good thing as during the day my family are constantly moving around and I didn’t want to take the risk of having any camera shake, therefore when everyone is in bed I would start shooting. I ended up using my phone flashlight and creating my own barndoors with sticky paper as that meant I was in complete control of how the lighting was affecting the shot.

Another issue with the lighting aspect of my shots was when I was shooting outside, the weather was always changing, and it was frustrating as I would get all of my exposure sorted then the sun would go away and the shot would end up under exposed. I ended up planning to shoot every second day when it was the peak brightness of the day so around 2 pm.

Shoot and development

Throughout the project I feel I have used more techniques and have learned more skills than I have throughout the whole year, from personal skills, technical skills and photoshop skills. Because of this project I have found a new love for still life and have grown more confident to this genre of photography. With the help of past experiences and with some YouTube tutorials I have learned how to create a composite at an adequate level and how to colour grade the images properly. Shooting wise I haven’t done a lot of long exposure shots, but I had quickly learned how to master the 30 + second exposures to create very beautiful shots. Throughout my series of photoshoots, I had used a lot of flagging and reflecting to increase and decrease the amount of details within the shadows and highlights. For example, the dolls face in photoshoot 5 there were a lot of harsh shadows due to the direct sunlight therefore I used a piece of white card to decrease the amount of shadow. For flagging I used black card to block the light from hitting certain areas of the books in photoshoot 3 so that I could still expose light onto a small area of book but not the rest of it to create more depth within my shot. I now understand how to truly use the quality of light properly and I don’t think I could go back to not automatically trying to get the best quality of light possible for each of my shots.

I now also know how to use light to create a mood and atmosphere within my shots. For the photoshop aspect I had the biggest challenge. I originally was just going to try and shoot the whole composition in one take; however, 30 seconds of light wasn’t enough, and I felt with all of my images, they were very flat and didn’t have enough depth. Therefore, I decided to try and create a composite within my shots. My first attempt was photoshoot 3, and I had some knowledge about composing images from the illusion brief however it wasn’t my best work. It turned out a lot better than I had expected. Throughout the whole series I probably wouldn’t be able to have as good quality looking images as I do if I didn’t have the dodge and burn tool. I managed to master these tools by the end of this project because of how much I used them. A problem I found when I was doing the location shoots was that I could go and check right away f my shots were ok enough I had to wait till the shoot was over then go and check, which was quite stressful as sometimes I didn’t even get good enough shots, for example the chicken shots I took in photoshoot 9. Throughout I mostly used my 18-135mm lens so that I could have a variety of vocal lengths, this was good in particular to the location shots as I could quickly change perspective and angle without having to worry about where I was standing.

Reflection

I have talked a lot about how well I have succeeded with this project, however I have had a few struggles and it has been a bumpy trip throughout. The main problem for me was my creative block I had ended up forming when the covid-19 situation happened. Being isolated really took a toll on my mental health and I didn’t really focus on photography that much as I genuinely couldn’t. therefore, a week or two was wasted due to me having my own mental problems. The other issue was trying to come up with a solution project as I didn’t have that much equipment, nor did I have anything around me that was inspiring enough to shoot to have 10 final images in.

Another problem was around the end of the photoshoots, I reflected back, and I felt that the images weren’t correlating together enough, even though it was all the same style of objects and they all had the historical aspect in common, my panicking got the best of me. At the beginning of my shoots I was using a blue bed sheet as I didn’t have any backdrops, thus making my images look quick tacky before editing, furthermore making my editing process a lot more difficult. I ended up finding other solutions to backgrounds, so I wasn’t having to worry too much about that. Even though I managed to get 11 photoshoots done before deadline I still feel like I ended up rushing at the end, which mean I should have given myself more time, maybe even the two weeks at the beginning was a major factor in this situation.

Exhibition and Print

So if I were to have my series of images printed for exhibition I feel I’d need to have them printed around A2/A1 size as I would really want to emphasise how visually striking they are, I also feel the larger your print is the overall value of it becomes a lot more important therefore I would have my images at a large size to really establish the quality of the details of my photographs.

Conclusion

In conclusion to my final project, I’m am extremely happy with how all of my images turned out. The amount of time I spent on this project was a mass amount, I sometimes was even shooting until 4am and same with the theory aspect, but seeing it all complete is definitely worth it and I’m very proud of myself for being able to achieve the amount of work I put into the project given the time period. I love how I have managed to take these old objects, to then style and edit them in a modern and eccentric way.

[swiftie5891]

Taylor Swift is no Snake – only Karyn is

My response to “30 THINGS I LEARNED BEFORE TURNING 30”

At the beginning Taylor refers to social media and says that many people hide behind it to insult and hurt others emotionally. Although Taylor wants to use it as a connection to her fans, she has learned that she does “not need the validation of someone telling me that I look 🔥🔥🔥”. Here, Taylor addresses the exact danger and disadvantage of social media. Today’s generation is using it to get validation, while creating an image of a perfect life. They post pictures or videos of them partying, drinking, doing sports, eating healthy food. Especially make-up tutorials are very popular among teenagers. Thus, the dream job of them is not being a firefighter, a police officer or an astronaut any more, but being an “influencer”. When you don’t adjust to a beauty image, you are called names and are prone to insults. Also Taylor has learned that. In her article she writes, “you could unwittingly see someone telling you that you look like a weasel that got hit by a truck and stitched back together by a drunk taxidermist.” People who write comments like that either don’t realize that they seriously hurt someone by writing this or they want to hurt them intentionally and hide behind the internet’s anonymity.

The second lesson Taylor has learned is that a kind behavior is not always beneficial. When you are always kind, people might get used to this and take advantage of it by using you for their own goods, or they do not take you seriously when you clearly state your opinion. I’ve also learned that saying “No” does not mean that you are selfish, but that it is good for yourself to stand up for your opinion. Whether people accept your opinion shows your true relationship. Do it Taylor-style: “Be like a snake – only bite if someone steps on you”. Be kind to people who are kind to you, but if you feel used or oppressed, stand up for yourself, you deserve it.

Taylor’s third lesson is important for everyone who feels bad for failing. Just because you have failed does not mean that you are a “loser”. It also does not mean that you haven’t given your best. Like Taylor says, “it’s good to mess up and learn from it and take risks”. Having learned from your mistakes or failures can help build your character, and it makes you stronger. In my case, I´ve failed my driver’s license test the first time. Although I was really really sad at first, I suddenly realized that it was for my own good because I had to take five or so more lessons, which helped me gain more self-assurance. So, I’ve passed the second one. It has also helped me learn to accept my failures, to live in it and to come out stronger.

Everyone who hates his or her body should take a look at lesson four. DO NOT HATE YOUR BODY BECAUSE OF A CERTAIN IDEAL PORTRAYED IN ANY KIND OF MEDIA! Especially in times of social media, showing your skinny and/or trained body has become an influence on people, especially on young people. Being confronted with pictures of those “perfect” bodies every day can make you feel bad when you don’t adjust to that beauty ideal. Like Taylor says, “a lot of us push the boundaries of dieting”. We search for various diets Hollywood stars have used to get “in shape”. But when you look at the consequences of those hard-core diets that make you lose a lot of weight in a short time, you should recognize that you’re harming your body. In my opinion, you should do sports – but not to adjust to a certain ideal. You should do it to make and keep your body healthy. You should also not lose weight to become as skinny as possible. You should do it to relieve pressure off your joints and to stay mobile. You should always remember that you have ONE body and that you shouldn’t stress it with an excessive diet. I have lost 20 kg myself during my senior year at school to be able to wear a nice dress. But most of all I recognized that my knees started to hurt while walking and I was out of breath after taking the stairs. Those two factors encouraged me to do sports, and it has helped me so much. Additionally, it supported my learning process during the finals. I am glad that Taylor has shared her opinion on that to show especially young people that pushing “boundaries of dieting […] can be really dangerous” and that “there is no quick fix”.

As lesson number five Taylor names banishing drama from your life. It is nice to hear from her that she is also suggesting blocking poisonous people. When your life is so consumed by people who cause drama in your life, you do not get to focus on yourself. Especially when you’re feeling down yourself and other people decide to knock you down additionally, you have every right to block them. Like Taylor says, “be discerning” of those around you. Sometimes you’ve tried to solve the problems with those people but then it happens again and again. Here, you have to decide if the person is worth it or if a further contact is just hurting you. Sometimes you gotta let go of people, even if it feels weird or hurts at first. If the drama queens are taking swings or the jokers are dressing up as kings, just let go and say “here’s a toast to my real friends”!

I love that Taylor is addressing it in lesson six: women are allowed to age. She says that the pressure on women regarding “everlasting youth” is not fair because it “isn’t even remotely required of men”. When men get older, they are told that they look wiser and that aging makes them sexier. When women show visible signs of their age, they are told that they look old and should do something about it. When you look at the amount of anti-aging cremes for women available in beauty stores, you can see the apparent importance of that matter for women. Also when having a look at the many Hollywood stars and their faces, it seems that aging women in the entertainment industry do not exist. Sometimes those frozen Botox faces are really scary, especially when you see pictures of those women before they have (in my opinion) destroyed their faces. I do not say that women should not take care of themselves, but I think that at some point in our lives, we should accept that we get older and that our bodies will change. It is natural, and all of our scars and wrinkles stand for the things we have experienced in our lives. And this does not refer to plastic surgery after an accident or anything else which has disfeatured someone’s body and face. On the contrary, I think this should be supported by health care.

Lesson seven has seriously touched me. It is so sad that Taylor and other artists have to be scared of any kind of violence. Those two examples Taylor addresses have touched me personally because I love going to concerts. Especially the attack during Ariana’s concert shook me because so many young people were killed and got hurt at a place where they wanted to have a great time seeing their idol. I don’t get why people hurt other people like this. At the same time I start to understand why the safety arrangements at concerts have changed a lot. It is terrifying to read that Taylor only felt safe(er) on stage wearing QuikClot army grade bandage dressing and that she does not feel safe privately at all. I have the biggest respect for everyone involved in the planning of the tour and for the security people who had to do their best at keeping everyone safe. For this reason I try my best to get through the security check as fast as possible by looking what is allowed beforehand and by already opening my bag when the person in front of me is checked. I am also being nice by saying “hello”, “thank you” and “good-bye”. Taylor’s last sentence shows how we can deal with those threats best: “We have to live bravely in order to truly feel alive, and that means not being ruled by our greatest fears.”

Lesson number eight is very important for our self-esteem. It is a lesson I have also learned myself: “For an approval seeker like me, it was an important lesson for me to learn to have my OWN value system of what I actually want.” It is so important to have your own values and to stand up for them. When people say, “don’t listen to what others say”, I always answer, “that’s right, but I care what I think”. We do not have to follow everything other people say when we do not feel comfortable with it. Unfortunately, when you say this you are mostly called stubborn or not able to compromise. But I think in the end it is most important what we think of ourselves and that we can be proud of our decisions, although it might sometimes annoy others.

Lesson number nine: self-made cocktails. I should really try that because there’s nothing cooler than hosting your own birthday party for example and being able to offer some really nice cocktails.

Lesson number ten is really relatable. When you like to cook, you’ll always find some recipes which you love to cook and which taste delicious. I started to cook myself to be in better control of what I am eating and to reduce the amount of fat I am eating because too much fat causes a really bad feeling in my stomach since I’ve had to get my gallbladder removed in 2015 (1 week after Taylor’s 1989 show in Cologne). I am also using the garlic crusher because it helps to have little pieces of garlic in your meal without it being too strong. Moreover, I’ve just heard that garlic is a good way to make some meals more digestible. At this point, I’d recommend Taylor to release an own cook book with her favorite meals because those dishes sound amazing.

Number eleven is great. Command tape is so so good. I’ve also used it to put a hook for my jewelry on my wardrobe because I did not want to have a hole in it. It has not disappointed me because it has not fallen down yet (for about 10 years).

Number twelve is really important. Although it is sometimes hard to admit that you were wrong, apologizing is really important for a friendship / relationship. This can help the friendship / relationship to build trust, and it helps the ones affected get past this.

Unfortunately, lesson thirteen is a very current issue. This exactly is the problem: many victims of sexual assault do not come forward because they think that no-one will believe them. Moreover, like Taylor writes, going through the trial must be horrible because you have to talk about it and to live through it again. I am lucky that I have never been in this position. Maybe this is why I don’t understand why you could feel ashamed for it because like Taylor says, “It’s something no one would choose for themselves.” The ones that have done this should be ashamed for doing this to the victims, not the victims themselves. It is so important for the victims to speak up to hold the offender responsible for the things they have done, to start the process of putting it behind them (at least to regain some normality) and to prevent others from being assaulted by the same person. I hope in the future more victims will be believed to reduce those horrible deeds.

Lesson fourteen is something most people have to deal with. When a person close to you loses someone or has to go through any other kind of tragedy, you mostly do not know what to say. Mostly the only thing helpful for them is to let them know that you are here and to hug them. I think you know it is a real friendship when you are in a bad place and see if the other person is here for you or not. I have experienced this various times. Every time I thought I have finally found a best friend whom I can depend on in all situations, I have gotten disappointed. I have always been there for her when she had a bad fight with her boyfriend, and I have listened to her relationship problems and the problems she had at work. However, when I was in a really bad place because my grandparents have died within a short time and was totally looking forward to a movie night to get some distraction, she wrote me that exact day that she would rather go out with another friend to a bar. This was the time I stopped believing in that friendship. It is hard when you try your best to help your friends but mostly do not get it back. Now I’ve gotten to know some Swiftie friends whom I have never met personally, but feel really connected to and get really good advice or encouragement, which I love to return. I am so glad Taylor wrote about this in her article because I feel like the feeling of mutual support has declined nowadays.

I have learned lesson fifteen as well. Vitamins can make the way you feel so much better. Some years ago, I was feeling really sad all the time and I didn’t know why. My doctor one day told me to get my blood tested and it showed that I lacked Vitamin D and B12. So, I started to take supplements and a few weeks later I felt so much better. Taylor says something helpful here: Magnesium. For someone who loves going to the gym 5 to 6 days a week like me, magnesium is really helpful for the muscles, especially to avoid cramps due to overload. It seriously helps.

Lesson sixteen is important for everyone who trust people they haven’t know too long too soon. Taylor explains that “the layers of a person you discover in time” are “more valuable” than the ones you see when you first meet them. I have experienced that too. For example some years ago I got to know someone of whom I thought could be my best friend. We had so much in common and we had fun at the beginning. However, over the time I learned that she was only talking about herself, and when I needed her, she wasn’t there. Those are the moments when you realize that that friendship won’t work out. I have also experienced that a short time later. I was part of a dance team for about 20 years. Then one day we had a discussion about our costumes. Something that I didn’t feel comfortable was suggested, although it was well known that this was the only thing I would never wear. It was a long discussion and I said that I’d rather quit before wearing that because it would make me feel horrible and uncomfortable. In that situation no-ne really stood up for me and understood me. That was the moment when I saw that we were not a real team, because in a team no-one would be left behind and no-one should be forced to wear something that they don’t feel good with. That was the moment I knew that I would never feel happy there again and some month later actually quit. And I have to say it was for the best. I had so much fun the years before but with the time that (long) first impression has changed for the worse. That’s why I can really understand Taylor when she says that we shouldn’t trust everyone’s first impression they make on us.

I think lesson seventeen is learned by everyone someday. In our teens we do stuff to our body of what we later think, “why did I do that exactly?”. I think it is part of the process of discovering and growing up. I once cut my hair and especially my bangs. I looked like … I don’t want to say what. Over the time I have learned how to treat my body well. I also use moisturizer and body lotion, although I have to treat my face differently due to acne-prone skin. I use special cream for it some days, I use peeling about three days a week, and once a week I treat myself with a face mask with activated carbon and hyaluronan to reduce my pimple scars. Remember, you have only one body. So, treat it with kindness.

In lesson eighteen Taylor addresses the importance of dealing with your childhood “scars”. She explains that our childhood scars can haunt us into our adult lives. I think it is important that someone like Taylor is opening up about not being popular as kid because we can relate to her and learn that we can rectify it. Besides being not popular as a kid, like Taylor, I have also been made fun of because of my weight. Although I have lost 20 kg already, it is still a factor that makes me feel insecure sometimes. I have learned to live with it and I want to lose some more weight to improve my health and lower the risk of getting diabetes or something else. Moreover, I think many shops have awesome clothing for girls with some more weight and we are able to dress nicely and according to our body. Everyone can dress like they want to, especially nowadays, but it is most important for me to feel comfortable, even with some more weight than the average person. I am glad that today I can say that I have found some amazing friends who don’t care about my weight and are also very protective when I’m made fun … although today I seriously ignore that because I know what I have achieved and what I am able to do. I am probably more flexible and can do more sit-ups than an average-weight person. And I am proud that I can do the splits like Taylor in the Delicate music video … although I haven’t tried it on a car yet.

Lesson nineteen is really relating. It is so important to tell your friends how you feel. And you have to be honest. A real friend should be interested in how you feel. If you can’t share this with your friends, then with whom can you (except your family of course)? It is always good to know that you have friends who care about your feelings and try to understand. Also when you have problems with someone, it is best to address them instead of only thinking about it. Communication is everything, both in a relationship and in a friendship.

Lesson twenty is something we all learn in our twenties: “the difference between lifelong friendships and situationships”. When you’re new somewhere, like a job for example, you try to find mutuals of whom you soon think as your friends. I am a person who is searching for mutuals very quickly because I hate being alone. Although you might get along with many people quickly, it doesn’t mean that you’ll be BFFs. I think a friendship can develop when you spend some time outside of your “situation” and get to know each other more closely. In that case you can learn that you’re perfect in your “situationship” but not in a friendship. I am glad that I am friends with people who I know for more than twenty years (I’m 27, by the way) and who I see at least twice a year because we don’t live that close to each other anymore. And I am glad that I have also friends who I have met later but write with consistently.

Lesson twenty-one: fashion = experimentation. I can only say: so true. When I look back at pictures from my primary-school years, I think, what did I wear? Then I’m like, I was a kid … and it was the 90s. That’s ok. Later I had a time when I loved wearing black leather bracelets with rivets, my hair couldn’t be dark enough and I had a skull and crossbones phase thanks to Pirates of the Caribbean. I think it takes some time, a long time, to find a style that we feel comfortable in and that fits us. I still like to try new things. For example, I’ve changed my hair from a dark blonde to red. And I love it. I actually feel more confident with it. By the way, Bleachella is nothing to be ashamed of, Taylor. Although I prefer your fair hair like it is now, I also loved the brightness.

In lesson number twenty-two Taylor addresses fighting fairly. In a relationship or friendship a fight should not be about who is winning. Like she says, the best thing in a fight is communication and trying to talk about it calmly. Communication should also be used to prevent a big fight. When you have a problem with something or someone, talk about it. It is so true what Taylor says at the end: “They don’t give out awards for winning the most fights in your relationship. They just give out divorce papers.”

Number twenty-three: WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOUR BACK, TAYLOR!

Number twenty-four: I am glad that I haven’t had to deal with illnesses like this yet. When I read this it always makes me thankful that my parents are healthy. I can only imagine how helpless you must feel. I totally get that you learn to prioritize other things and that you feel like other worries feel so much less important.

In lesson twenty-five Taylor clarifies that artists don't have to feel miserable in order to produce great art. I think that the artists’ experiences influence their art regarding the atmosphere of the song, painting or so on. When I was feeling bad and had to write an essay for college, I was not able to produce something good. I know it is not comparable to writing a song, but I think our feelings influence our productivity. However, creative writing or painting can be used as a way to come to terms with negative experiences. But the thing that is produced during that process does not have to be the artist's best work. I am so happy that you, Taylor, have left the negative experiences behind you and are doing better than you ever were.

In number twenty-six Taylor says that she likes to make countdowns for certain events. I love countdown apps too. I have a countdown for my birthday, Christmas and New Year’s Eve and for concerts. I also have a count … back for the Reputation album. Look What You Made Me Do, Taylor! It is good to know that things you’re excited about are in your future when you’re feeling down or stuck. I hope I can soon add the release of TS7 and hopefully a concert to my countdown app site on my phone.

In lesson twenty-seven Taylor explains how to deal with bullies and how to disarm them. Especially in a time of social media, where bullying anonymously is so easy, especially celebrities have to deal with any kind of “opinion” about themselves. Taylor’s handling of the hate campaign against her is awesome because she has used the word she’s been called and turned it into a symbol for her sixth studio album “Reputation”. She has exchanged the negative association with a snake (being devious) with a positive one. Now Swifties associate the symbol with the phrase, “Be like a snake - only bite if someone steps on you.” The best way to deal with bullies is either to ignore them and don’t give them what they want: attention. Or you do it like Taylor. You use the word you’ve been called for yourself and turn it into … Karyn. She has become the icon of the tour, and her shiny eyes and the way she rose behind Taylor during Look What You Made Me Do will never be forgotten. I’ve been bullied because of my weight in school myself. It hurts a lot because you don’t know how to deal with that at a young age. But as I grew older I learned that although they were bullying me I got better grades than them and graduated from high school and even got a university diploma a few weeks ago, while they left school after the 9th grade. There are so many things which are more important than what people have to say about you. Today I know that, like Taylor says, you learn how to deal with people like that and grow stronger. It’s the best revenge you could get because all they’ll ever gonna be is mean.

In number twenty-eight Taylor talks about her connection to politics. Although many people say that celebrities should just do their job and act or sing, I think it is important for people like Taylor to speak up politically and to encourage young people to educate themselves about and engage with politics as well. I still can’t understand how people with reactionary concepts can be voted to be in such high positions. I hope that here will be more celebrities who use their influence on their fans to put the right people in high positions, or at least to animate more people to use their voice and vote. Sometimes the reason why the “wrong” people win is because of those who do not vote because they think that nothing will change anyways and that one vote does not matter. But when many people think like this, there are more and more lost votes which might cause a different outcome.

Lesson twenty-nine: the hair changes its texture. I always wondered why the texture of Taylor’s hair is so much different now. The curls were so sweet and totally fitted country-Taylor. I think her hair has changed with the eras and adjusted to the “New Taylor”. Maybe the new era will also welcome her curly hair back. But we love you no matter what your hair looks like, Taylor.

Finally, lesson thirty. When Taylor has done something wrong, she has punished herself. On the one side it is good if a child recognizes when he or she has done something wrong, but on the other side it can cause a hard life when you will always question your decisions to an extent that is not good. Of course it is good to consider the outcome, but when you have actually failed and made the wrong decision punishing yourself for the decision you have made is not healthy. Like I’ve learned watching The Bold Type, living in your failure is good and important to learn from it and to build your character. You can’t change the past anyways. It is good to deal with your decision and your failure but it is also important to Shake It Off afterwards.

   @taylorswift @taylornation @elle

[moseswilhelm]

Now that you’re all gone, I’ve got a few squishy bits to air out. I don’t feel normal. Whether that means quirky or broken or eccentric depends on the day or hour or seconds between the particular anxiety of waiting on someone to respond to a long string of text. Internally, I’ve cycled between deciding if I am alien, demon, mutated evolution, a plaything of God, a challenge, or just plain old mentally ill. We can guess the healthier option, but there isn’t much use or fun using that.

Knowing you’ve lacked socialization in your youth doesn’t really mean much in trying to solve that problem in the same way that knowing you were just shot won’t help close the wound. What I am trying to say is I wasn’t socialized when I was young and that consistent distant feeling from your peers comes from that.  Hearing that you think differently, or have an interesting brain is a nice little compliment albeit a little condescending. Unfortunately, you can’t really monetize excellent explanatory metaphors without the true meat and potatoes of capitalist society: focus. Arguably, effort and hard work and all that, but the measurement of how much you’ve put into something gets a bit blurred when you’ve somehow acquired detail knowledge of the economic turmoil that initiated the Pontic Wars. Someone please give me money for that. Easily an entire week got a bit lost in trying to understand centralized economies in the classical era and not one person paid me. Outrageous. I think writing was my way of trying to accomplish that level of usefulness that we are all trying to achieve. I knew that whatever I went through as a kid helped me develop an approach to understanding things in a unique way, but this is arguably not even useful to myself let alone the world as a whole. Unfortunately this hobby/career is top tier ADD nightmares and require a level of focus and drive comparable to Stephen King just ripped on coke. I neither have the proclivity for weird child orgies and dog monsters or coke.  Well thats a lie, coke suits me just fine but my scantron has enough bubbles filled out and I’m already late turning in my “how much of a trainwreck are you” buzzfeed quiz.  I see you, red squiggly telling me that “thats” needs an apostrophe. Fuck off, this is art and I refuse to change. Hey, what do you think happens when you’re told that confidence has to come before... y’know... actually being proud of yourself? Arrogance and self-absorption, obviously. You learn very quick that empty confidence is just as meaningless as no confidence, so to kind of fake it you have to really inflate things you have no right inflating and they are inflated on a scale comparable to those around you. Which is arrogant! Its awful! People can do different things at different levels and still be valid! Confidence is valued at an extremely high level to the point where the confidence to present yourself is a bit more important than the character you are supposedly proud of... evidenced plenty by the folks in the public eye known specifically for their charisma and yet somehow failing to actually be a person worth being around. That said, it can get tangled up in actually being proud of yourself. Shocking, I know, but you can’t really lump people who have characters worth being proud of to those just decent at faking it.  Faking it. I know imposter syndrome is a thing. I am certainly not really alone in the concept of “oh god I’m faking it” so I won’t really pretend I have some magic insight on the concept (I’m lying I’m absolutely going to present myself as someone with Answers welcome to the fucking show) but when does “holding it together” and “how you present yourself” become imposter syndrome.  “Hi this is me who has to be this way in order to balance between seeming different enough to stand out but not so different that you feel disgusted at the concept of change, nice to meet you” I mean what the fuck is a person anyways. Thats not a question. Not even a rhetorical one so if you answered aloud in your head I’m sorry but my psyche is not emotionally prepared for audience participation right now so clam up. Finding yourself is always a precarious as hell phrase because that often means one of two things: 1. Learning not to care about how others feel about who you are, despite all evidence of existence point out that this is the absolute most important aspect of your life 2. Presenting the parts that you were afraid to present to people.  Look, I get it, you can’t please everyone and I’m not really here to talk about how to please anyone. In fact, I’m not even here. This is a lucid dream you’re having in your chair and shortly you’ll wake up and not remember if you were sleeping at all. Its fine, you’re fine.  You have to please someone though. I think we underestimate the value of the tutorial level of life regarding this. You are given a set amount of people who are, usually, just going to be pleased by your existence. This always sets up your expectations of how that looks, how it feels, and how important it is. I mean imagine if right now I decided to criticize the immense value society puts on children. You’d hate my fucking guts! “Look at this asshole, kids deserve to be cared for” To be clear I don’t disagree with that. I think a lot of the current “you are valid” rhetoric is based on the concept that adults deserve to be cared for as well. This sorta rounds off my point that attention and reassurance is an important part of being cared for. In my opinion, this gets overlooked very often in favor cheap performative actions like hitting a heart button and oh my god I’m like a baby boomer writing for the new york times okay hold on I promise this isn’t a cynical criticism of millennials.  People want to be heard. Importantly, people want to be understood. Spicy hot fucking take. Its a bit more than “this person knows who I am” although thats precisely how its framed. People want to be cared for, and this means knowing the... other person knows who they are caring for. Ah holy shit this is why I use metaphors.  You have a snickers bar and you are hungry. Congration, you done it. Its the middle of the day and you never had any breakfast and frankly your bank account could use a break from pleasuring Starbuck’s atm reader so you somehow found the last snickers bar in a box you bought off of impulse bought off of Amazon and immediately regretted because it was gone two days later. Or so you thought. As you threw away the cardboard you hear the tell-tale tumble of a forgotten rod of peanuts and caramel that must have gotten jammed in the back of this thing. It was, however, 7am and you had to get to work and maybe having bubbleguts while dealing with people is not your recipe for a good day so you throw it into your purse or bag or whatever the fuck and move on.  “Lunchtime” rolls around and as you do the mental gymnastics required to find the conclusion that food=energy in between bouts of fury over why your workday insists on starting at 8am and how you can’t seem to cope with falling asleep early enough for that not to matter, you remember your snickers bar. Reaching into whatever bag you put it and coming to the horrifying dread of realization that you left this bag in your car in fucking July, you find the sweet sugared respite in a corner. Squeezing it a bit just to test, you are surprised to not find it in the horrible (and yet delicious) state of melted confectionary. Your stomach grumbles a bit as you fidget with the perforated candy wrapper, vaguely thinking to yourself that it might be interesting to read the ingredients as you eat this thing like that isn’t going to fill you with inexplicable Eldritch dread. Nobody needs to know they are ingesting something that might have been made in a facility that also processes every other nut you can think of, delightfully shortened into “tree nuts”. I wonder if anyone has cross referenced all the allergen warnings to deduce which candies are made in the same factory, or if that information is just freely available. What if we kissed in the snickers production facility??? haha jk but...? Anyways, as your mind cycles through a list of stale memes you manage to unsheath this uncut chocolate delight from its wax(???) plastic prison and proceed to take your first, and arguably best, bite into this lunch.  Your teeth sink softly into it, as you would expect. In fact, expectations haven’t really filtered into your skull soup you call a brain, so all manner of things can just slip through your recognition. Not this, however. Instead, fireworks of electric signals screaming “BITTER POISON” shock your brain from its previous state of vaguely functioning. Now you truly see the color of light, feel the air cocooning your skin, the squirm of your organs in your belly. Full panic ensues. You are not human, you are animal, and you have taken in a poison thing.  You spit it out right there on your lap.  You stare at the sad and ruined chocolate mutant nestled grossly in between your legs as your brain high fives itself for saving your life before frantically scouring your subconscious for whatever Vine gives it enough dopamine to not just fucking kill yourself right here. What happened? The fugue of panic washes your perceptions with a mixture of justifications for this travesty. It probably just went bad, but that didn’t taste spoiled (you consider yourself a mild expert having scraped clean many an old collection of halloween candy collections in August the year after the fact) so maybe it melted and rehardened? Baking stuff is weird so maybe that broke down some of its components. You pick it up (holy shit that is slimy. Of course its slimy, just touch it) and its insides look fine. I mean, how often do you examine the insides of a partially chewed bite of snickers? No weird colors. The remaining chocolate lasagna brick also looks exactly what you’d thought it be.  You jokingly think to yourself that maybe you had a stroke but despite the apparent hilarity of that possibility you do the smile thing in the selfie camera of your phone. Everything seems fine, but now you’re getting mad that some turn of events has just ruined your perfectly good slab of sugar and fat that surely would have made the rest of the day bearable (and full of indigestion) Now that is a metaphor. 

[captainscominglookbusy]

Koko made me cry.

No, not Coco. I haven’t seen it yet. It’s Pixar and it has a dog, so it probably WILL make me cry, but it hasn’t yet.

No, I mean this kid.

I realize I’m late to the Breath of the Wild train, but I just need to take a moment and talk about how beautiful this game can be.

I am very early on at this point in the game. Just a little past the tutorial area, in Kakariko Village. I’ve spent some time talking to townsfolk, collecting side quests, and so on. It’s started to rain, which makes climbing (and thus, efficient village navigation) more difficult, so I’ve started to slow down in my general play-style. And all of a sudden this rambunctious kid named Koko comes jogging past me.

I’ve already met her sister. In fact, I thought that’s who this was at first; they look pretty similar. I talk to her, and she tells me she has to go say hi to Mother before dinner.

I don’t think I’ve met her mother yet, so I follow Koko. Maybe I can say hi too, get a side quest out of the mother or something. Not sure why the mother can’t come to dinner, but in this village I’ve already talked to a married couple who aren’t living together because the husband is too obsessed with chickens. Maybe family life is just always weird in Kakariko. 

Koko runs off to a trail at the edge of the village. When I saw it earlier, I assumed it was another exit, since I couldn’t see what was at the end of it. But Koko runs along, and so do I.

Eventually we reach the end of the trail. No houses. On the right, where Koko stops, is a lone tree. And on our left is a collection of several rows of stones.

My heart starts to sink as I piece things together.

Zelda’s usually not TOO terribly dark though. Even Majora’s Mask has that underlying element of fantasy to pretty much every character and interaction, keeping the mood lighter than it could be. Maybe I’m reading into things.

I talk to Koko.

She tells me she used to not like the rain, but now she appreciates it, since it hides things. Like how she can cry without Mother noticing.

I scan the area one last time. Koko and I are the only people here.

The dialogue ends. I wait a moment.

And Koko starts bawling.

Poor kid. Is there anything I can do? I talk to her again.

She repeats her dialogue about the rain.

And she continues to cry.

Keep in mind, “I” refers to Link here, because in real life I, the human, am already crying too.

I take a step back, looking around for some way to help her feel better.

But then I realize: what am I thinking? This is a little kid grieving her dead mother, and I have the audacity to think I can solve her anguish with a side quest?

Feeling a little sick of myself, I turn and leave Koko to the rain. This isn’t my place to butt in. I should have left her alone the second I realized where we were standing.

Later on, it’s dinnertime. And Koko wants to cook for her family, especially her little sister. Here the video game elements jump back in, and I actually DO get a side quest. See, Koko’s mother used to do all the cooking, and had a handful of solid recipes. Koko can remember them pretty well, but she keeps realizing that she doesn’t have all the ingredients. Luckily, I can supply her with them if I’ve got them.

For her first dish she needs a carrot. No big deal. I got one for free by talking to one of the other villagers earlier.

Then some raw meat. A little less likely that I’d have some, but luckily enough, I went hunting earlier. Voila, Koko. Here’s your meat.

Then she needs some goat butter. I have the dialogue choice to once again say “Here you go!” but I know I don’t have any. I select the option just to see what happens.

Koko tells me I’m a bad liar. Just like Dad.

Her dad. Whose wife has recently died, and who probably had two daughters afterwards asking where Mom went.

My God.

My heart sinks, especially because Koko says dinnertime is fast approaching, and she’s worried she won’t complete the dish in time. She chides herself for being a bad daughter and disappointing her mother.

Now listen. I know how video games work. If this little side quest does indeed have a timer counting down to dinner time, I know that if I fail it I’ll just get to try again tomorrow evening.

But screw that. I don’t care. Koko does not deserve to live another second thinking she’s a disappointment.

I sprint to the nearest market, use a fifth of my money to buy some goat butter, and sprint back.

Koko’s happy, but for dessert she needs one last thing: honey.

They don’t sell that in markets, and I have no idea where the nearest beehive is.

I know I got honey at some point, but it heals two hearts. I might’ve used it up to heal at some point. I don’t remember.

I select the option telling Koko I have her honey.

Please, please, please. Please don’t look at me with those same knowing eyes that you looked at your father with when he told you your mother had gone away for a while. Please don’t tell yourself that your mother is disappointed in you for messing up her recipe. Please please please let me have honey.

Link reaches into his pocket.

Thank God. I have the honey.

Koko is overjoyed. She cooks her best dish yet. Mother would be proud.

I talk to her after the side quest is officially checked off my to-do list. She says that my help has inspired her to be a cook when she grows up, and that starting from now, she’ll start thinking of her own recipes instead of just using her mother’s.

Her mother will always be a part of her, but she’s starting to move on.

And wouldn’t you know it, I’m crying again.

Koko is a super-minor character in a huge, grandiose open-world game with countless other stories to tell. I don’t want this entire post to just be an advertisement for Breath of the Wild, but I needed to share the pure storytelling beauty I experienced just now. There is something truly special about this game.

Koko will continue to live her life as I move on to explore other villages and talk to other people. I may have given her confidence and inspiration, but in the end, I was really just a spectator for part of her story.

Because I imagine that tomorrow, she’s still gonna jog on over to that tree next to the stones. And if it rains, she’ll cry, knowing that Mother won’t notice.

But I hope Koko knows now that Mother doesn’t mind, tears or not. That doesn’t matter. Mother’s proud, Koko. She’ll always be proud of you. And well she should be.

[rosieclarkedesign]

NEGOTIATED STUDY- EVALUATION 2018

Negotiated study has been one of the most stressful yet rewarding modules to date. I feel like it has started to combine all the things that I have learnt over the last 3 years and has begun to give me the confidence in my design ability and the way that I work. I have covered several projects over the last few months that have all been very different and as wide reaching as possible. I started out with choosing 3 ‘main’ project briefs, however this quickly escalated and by the end of the second week I had double that. One day briefs were some of my favourite projects this module and still to this day the quick-fire idea generation session we had during the ‘Milk brief’ project was one of the most invaluable things I have learnt at university so far. The quick turnaround from idea to outcome was totally out of my comfort zone but it made me focus and gave me no choice but to think on my feet and become less precious about my work especially during idea stage.

I have also this module completed several collaborative briefs. These for me have been an opportunity to share ideas, split job roles and create work that isn’t necessarily the kind of design I would venture into solo. The DMA brief was one that really tested me personally because I didn’t fully believe in the ‘contactless attachable’ products that they were trying to sell and as a group we all really struggled to get our head around the brief and what they were asking. We put our doubts to one side and really came together as a group and made good use out of each of our individual skills, making sure that we all helped wherever possible. Most of my time during this brief was spent on idea generation, scamping and design as that’s where my strengths lie. This is also where the brief tested us as it was a constant few weeks of problem solving, going back to brief and continuingly connecting the dots so that the campaign worked cohesively. The pitching and winning experience for me during this module was for sure one of the highlights as it gave us all an opportunity to show how much hard work we had put in and get real industry feedback, it was an invaluable experience and something that will for sure give me more confidence when leaving university and attending client pitches in the future.

I very quickly decided on the RSA ‘Post-Truth’ brief as it was so closely linked to the political topic of my dissertation and I knew it would be a great way to explore techniques, make connections, talk to practitioners working with similar styles and tie in all the hard work and effort I had put into the research of my extended essay. This was one of the best decisions I made this module, as it provided an escape from the other more pressured and constrictive briefs allowing me to purely create something that I loved and was 100% passionate about. It forced me to put aside my worries about learning after effects and made me throw myself into it (something I’m not sure I would have done without this brief) learning from online courses/tutorials and serious amounts of trial and error! As a total perfectionist, there were a lot of times I wanted to give up on this particular project because it was taking me ages to make the smallest movements documented fully on my Tumblr blog. However, I am proud that I stuck with it, gave it a go and learnt some new skills along the way.

Working on a live client brief has also really helped me this module as it has allowed me to work on designing to industry standard and has forced me to stick as closely to a brief as possible. This is something that I always struggle with and tend to push the limits of the brief a little further to get the most creativity out, however with a brief like the NEC one I had to step way out of my comfort zone and produce something that I knew they wanted. This wasn’t easy as it required lots of email and face to face meetings, sending sections of work back and forth making continual changes but I know that this is real and will be less of a shock when I leave uni. I have learnt a lot from this project and even picked up skills such as learning how to package files for print, working to size guide restrictions and using correct colour profiles etc. These are all elements of being a designer that I have never focused on much at university but will be something that I will for sure need in a few months. 

In true Rosie style, most of the projects that came my way over the last few months I have at least attempted. This is something that I know I need to look at because I tend to say yes to everything and although it gives me loads of opportunities I know it can be detrimental to my actual design work. For example, alongside numerous briefs I also pitched, won and became treasurer of a grad show society, dealt with gaining sponsorships, talking to industry, organising fundraising events, creating and selling prints and then on top of this gave up many weekends/nights along with a select group to attend design events etc. that would help raise money for our end of year show. Although this has been a total pleasure and I’m so proud of the progress we have made, it’s been hard work and has taken up a lot of our time.

 Overall this module has been a real learning curve and has pushed me a lot closer to the real world, giving me that boost to go out, speak to new people, make loads of industry contacts and get my name out there. I have learnt heaps of new skills, increased my technical skills by learning new software and attended as many design events/type talks as possible. I always put a lot of pressure upon myself and this module was no different, I have learnt a lot about myself as a designer and what I want to do (and more importantly what I don’t want to do) with my future during this last few months which can only be a positive.

[healthinputs]

10 Things Girls Like and Men Don't Know

Men of the world, there is something you should know: a fundamental principle for a relationship to work, or to conquer that girl that you love is to know what the woman likes or what she looks for in a man. For that reason, as I know that we are a bit complicated, I want to give you some  clues to make your life a little easier , and so you can conquer your girl, or if on the contrary you already have a partner, that you can improve this relationship .

I am aware that every woman is a world and that not everyone likes the same thing, but it is also true that there are basic elements in the personality of a man that almost all of us are looking for. 1. The mystery of hard guys.   There is a great myth that says that girls like "bad boys", and it is true, I will not deny it, but there is a small point that you should know. When we refer to this term, we do not talk about bad people as many think. "Bad boy" is not the same as "bad boy." So no, we don't like to be hurt. We like men with their own personality.  That stands out above others. Men launched and brave . Do not be cut when you tell us what they think. But yes, without being arrogant and rude. All with delicacy . We love determined men and have  things clear. We are bored by the typical boy who simply does what the rest does, or even does everything the girls tell him. Make no mistake, we don't want slaves, we want a real man. We love men with character who make their own decisions and know how to say "No" when they play. 2. Great men are the simplest. We envy that way of being so carefree  but not overdoing, nothing to do with the herbivorous men of Japan  . We admire that way so quickly that you have to find solutions to your problems, without having to give millions of turns to the head and analyze everything without stopping. Although it seems not, we like it this way, practical,  simple and uncomplicated. We like the fact that a man does not need to try on the same shirt ten times in the end not to decide on any. We like you to always be in a good mood because nothing matters so much that you care so much. It's simple: don't worry be happy. 3. Communication as the basis of any relationship. One of the most basic characteristics we look for in a man is communication. In a relationship, she has to be able to tell you everything, and for you to tell her. It is clear that when problems are not spoken there is no human way to solve them, and it is only achieved that they get worse and worse. Let a great mountain be made from a grain of sand. That's why you have to talk guys. Women want you to tell us what you feel , what you think. That you tell us anything but do it. It is not good to shut things up, because then it explodes when you least expect it. And logically, it can't end well. Save you useless discussions and bad rolls. Tell us things at the time and if it is in person better. No long texts by whatsapp, because we only get misunderstandings. You have to be brave, we're not going to bite you! 4. We want to be the princess of your story. Women love to be treated like a queen. Take care of us, pamper us and feel very special. We love that you have details with us, you surprise us when we least expect it, and the typical chocolates on Valentine's Day do not work. Be original please. Worry more about knowing the things that your girl likes, do not fall into the typical thing that we all like. We want to see interest in you, that you are willing to really know us inside. We love affectionate men, but don't overdo it, you don't have to become cloying. 5. We want a chef in our life. There is nothing sexier than a man behind the stove, preparing a good dinner or a romantic breakfast. A boy who defends himself in the kitchen already has his points earned . My recommendation for the most denied in the kitchen is that you start watching tutorials, which are free. So cheer up! If you cook you will have the pan by the handle, and never better. 6. Man, male please. Metrosexual, ultramodern, etc. .. Where did the classic man who lived without so many aesthetic concerns go? We like men who take care of themselves, but watch out! up to a point ... I think I don't speak for myself alone if I affirm that we like man not so worried about his physical appearance, and why not, more concerned with other tasks: like reading a good book or learning new things . If you are one of those who profile your eyebrows, combine clothes in a mathematical way, you shave even your arms and pay the annual bonus of the tanning center, you are in luck, we are saving your life. We believe that man must never lose that manly essence, which translates into something indispensable to attract us: pheromones. Although new fashions appear, there are basic things that we always liked and will like: like a good perfume, the smell of after shave, strong arms, an elegant look ... Banish once and for all the v-neck t-shirts of your wardrobes , leave the necklines to us, please. 7. More security in yourself. Surely you will have heard it thousands of times: «To be loved you have to love yourself». Well, you must be clear that security is one of the pillars of seduction. Something that will make you feel better and that we will appreciate in you. And you may ask, how to get this security? Well, it's easier than you imagine. You must be able to detect your complexes and try to eliminate them . No one is perfect , keep it clear. And neither is what we are looking for. What we want women is a man who likes, values and feels proud of himself. Insecurities often prevent you from moving forward and achieving your goals. And obviously, all we are inside is what will be projected out. It seems typical but it is so, if you do not feel comfortable with yourself, you get them to not feel comfortable with you either. So you know guys, be insecure! Read the full article

[tap-tap-tap-im-in]

A little self-reflection

I have a lot of impostor syndrome. If you’re not familiar with the idea, it’s simply an overwhelming feeling that you are not good enough for whatever position you find yourself in. It’s an idea that you can’t quite seem to shake that you are just a little bit of a fraud. I fight against it on a daily basis.

I think a lot of it comes from the fact that seven years ago, when I started this blog, I was unemployed, and the only job I could end up getting was part time employment at a liquor store. It was a nice liquor store, but it wasn’t going to get me anywhere I wanted to be in life. It also comes a lot from the fact that six years ago I was laid off early from my seasonal grounds maintenance job and the only job I could find on short notice to keep my bills paid was bussing for a dinner theatre my friend worked for. I loved that job, but it was hard, dirty, work with terrible hours, that only paid anywhere near well because of tip sharing, and the fact that I was making so little that I qualified for certain kinds of debt relief, and had a very patient friend who was pulling the lion’s share of the bills of our apartment together.

But just about a month ago, I walked into an interview with a company, talked about my skills, told them that I couldn’t accept entry level pay because I wasn’t an entry level developer. I got that job, and I got the pay I asked for, which was more than they had originally budgeted for the position.

There’s a lot going into this, so lets unpack a few things. First of all, I am white, and second of all, while I’ve started to get more open in my own evaluation of the truth of this, for all intents and purposes I am a man. I’m also balding and have fairly thick and full facial hair, so I look about five-ten years older than I am at 28. All that said, I also have a resume of code and experience I’ve been quietly building to back up my claims.

And before we go any further, we’re not talking astronomical amounts of money. The pay I asked for is entry level pay for positions like this in larger metropolitan areas, and is the same amount I was making in the position I left before this. But, this was a smaller company in a weird area of almost but not quite rural. Tourism skews a lot of things.

Back to the impostor syndrome. About five years ago, the theatre I was bussing for needed someone to create low cost projections for them. I’ve always loved fiddling with computers and had a lot of free time on my hands with my 20-25 hour workweek, so I volunteered for the position. I was very happy because I took a van as payment for my work. The work was absolutely worth more than the van, but I had been hitching rides for several years at this point, and this would be the first vehicle that I had ever owned as an individual. I kept it running until just last year. The projections were not that great, but they were cheap and there, so I got three more contracts for it with the same theatre. Each one I improved my process, and started working on my own tools to facilitate it. At the same time, I started working as an on-call IT person for the theatre as well. The hours were anything but regular, but I made $20 an hour, which was a far and away the most money I’d ever made for a job at this point.

And in the background, I’d been slowly teaching myself to program, kind of on accident, since I got that liquor store job in 2012. I have a huge love of Minecraft, and the technology that drives games and real-time graphics, so I found a mod for Minecraft called ComputerCraft which introduces programmable computers into the game. The computers used Lua as their programming language, so I started looking into Lua tutorials, downloaded Notepad++ on a recommendation I found (I still use Notepad++ as my daily driver, and if you don’t need to compile anything, it’s more than enough for any language).

Well, I made a dumb game to run on those computers in Minecraft. I didn’t understand the language very well, and the computers had very limited resources since they were running on top of a full game. To get around those errors, I started porting the game to JavaScript. The code was terrible, but I was learning a lot of core concepts by trial and error.

Back to the jobs, I realized that I could probably take what I was doing for the projection designs and start writing the tools in JavaScript and use CSS for the visual display, instead of my weird application of the Drag&Drop programming of YoYo Game’s GameMaker Studio. I met my now fiance, and I started programming visual poems, like this one: https://tap-tap-tap-im-in.tumblr.com/storm#_=_.

And we knew we were in love. I knew that while I had a come a long way in the last year, but I wasn’t going to really every stand on my own if I didn’t take a risk, so when she moved on to graduate school, I moved with her. I lived on kindness and savings for the first few months, but I continued to work on my pet projects. And then one day we were downtown looking at a local tabletop game store, and I noticed the cashier ring us up with a calculator and a notepad.

I went home and started mocking up a very simple inventory and POS system proof-of-concept using LocalStorage as the database. Depending on the browser and device, LocalStorage starts to top off at around 5MB, and can easily be cleared on accident, so it was not ideal for an actual solution, but it was quick and got me a prototype in a matter of days. I’d never worked on this type of project before, but something in me told me I could do it.

I showed the prototype to the owner of the store, and he offered to finance my development of it at minimum wage (I was unemployed and desperate for any way to start carrying my share, so I took it). I then started looking for ways to solve the problem of actually hooking a database up to what I was doing, and stumbled into the world of PHP and MySQL.

I worked on that project for three months before I walked into a small internet marketing company I had applied to previously and got a job as a PHP developer. That job had a lot of problems, and I hated it and the owner by the time I left, but what it gave me in spades was opportunities to learn, and experience I never would have gotten without it. I hate the owner, but I will always be grateful for the fact that he took what was a weird hobby for me, and gave me a platform to try and turn it into a career.

Now, I’ve personally created things as far reaching as a prototyping framework (Vogon), a dead simple but brutally effective web app firewall (Drawbridge), a desktop application for automated cloud backups (I honestly don’t remember the stupid name we gave this), websites for days, online API integrations from simple to FedEx’s arcane SOAP based monstrosity, and many things in between. Not all of the code is something I’m proud of, and I don’t think some of it should have ever been handed over to clients, but all of it taught me a great deal.

I deal with impostor syndrome all the time, but looking back on it all, I think I have to admit to myself that it’s undeserved at this point.

[luciegould-blog1]

Unit Evaluation

General Feeling

I wasn’t expecting such a big step up from first year and man was it a big step. I found the three back to back one week projects very stressful due to how much work we had to do in such a short time. The first two one week projects were difficult as I felt that I had to do all of the work and struggled to realise that I was able to allocate work for the rest of the group to do, this is due to the fact that I usually put too much on my plate and feel that I need to do everything. However, by the third group project, I had figured out how to work well within a group and was able to be okay with other people doing some of the work. I found the exhibit project quite daunting at first due to the number of deliverables that we had to produce. I also didn’t fully understand the brief and was very confused about what a brand identity meant and therefore struggled for the first week of the project, however, once this got cleared up, I found the project enjoyable. I initially felt really worried about doing a process book on top of the other projects that we had, however, it turned out that I found the process book the most enjoyable part of the unit and did a lot of work on it to produce something that I’m proud to show.

 Ideas generation

To generate ideas for all of the projects, I first did some initial research and then started producing mind maps that contained some potential pathways that I could go down. I generally find the ideas generation quite hard, however, I feel that I’m getting better at thinking up ways to solve the problems that the briefs pose. To gain some more information about my briefs, I like to look at articles and news stories surrounding the subject and then also look at visual examples on the internet as well as in books so that I can get an idea of what would work and further develop my understanding of the content of the briefs. I found researching for the series and systems project interesting as I really like infographics and have researched a lot of different designers during my art foundation and first year and so knew which sources would be best to look at. The spatial communication project, however, was not as smooth sailing as I didn’t quite know what I was looking for. I find writing things down really beneficial in generating ideas as when I see them on paper I can start making links and further my ideas. I found, especially in the exhibit project, that I had a very broad range of ideas which needed refining so that I could follow a more focused path. I found generating ideas for the group projects much easier than when I have worked on my own since we could bounce ideas off of each other and work together to develop an idea that I probably wouldn’t have thought of on my own.

 Project Development

During the three one week projects, I found it essential to stay in contact with the rest of the group so that we could develop our project together. I found that when there hadn’t been good or clear communication, that our designs suffered which was very apparent I the Moving Brands project where I felt that we hadn’t worked on the outcomes as a pairing and instead did our own thing due to lack of communication and group work. During the exhibit project, to develop my designs, I used advice from the tutorials and interim critique as well as additional research to see how other designers had solved similar problems. I found the interim critique especially helpful as it gave me a chance to see my peers work and to see how they had begun to solve the problem posed by the brief. Throughout the unit, I’ve found it really helpful to talk to everyone as it usually gave me a chance to look at the brief from a new perspective and come up with solutions that I may not have come up with if I hadn’t interacted. I also worked from my gut feelings and made changes that I thought were better which I feel is so important because, at the end of the day, I feel like you don’t gain anything if you don’t like your work, regardless of whether others think it’s successful.

 Time Management

Throughout the unit, I feel that I’ve managed my time well. During the three one week projects, it was hard to fit in times where everyone was available to work on the projects, however, I feel that in each individual project, the group managed to make it work which led to us producing content that we were all happy with. I found the exhibit project a lot easier to time manage as I didn’t have to take into account other people’s schedules. Saying this, it was still stressful and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to fit everything in. I found making lists and plans of what I needed to do and by when, really helpful and it made me keep up with the demands of the project. I also made sure that I was blogging regularly so that it was always up to date with where I was at with each project. I made a rule for myself that all of the body text for each project that I was going to include in my process book had to be complete the day after the project deadline. This meant that I could then just import it into InDesign and start to produce the layouts for the individual pages. I found that this worked really well for me, however, I think next time I could become a bit more efficient at it by taking a more formal approach to my blog so that I can just copy the text and use it in my process book, rather than creating a separate document.

 What I’ve learned

Throughout this unit, I’ve learnt about myself as a designer, as well as about myself as a person. The seminars really helped me to start thinking about why I design and what messages I want to convey in my work. I’m a very morally driven person, and through the seminars, I’ve decided that I want this to be portrayed in my work as I want it to show who I am. I’ve also continued to discover what my strengths and weakness are (animation is definitely not my thing) as well as what I enjoy doing the most. I’ve learnt that I get highly stressed and anxious when put under pressure and most of this pressure is put on me by myself, it’s my perfectionism coming out to play and I’ve learnt that I need to be able to manage this if I am to develop as both a person and a designer. I’ve learned how to work well within a group - to let people take some of the workload and to not be controlling over what we produce. I’ve also learned how to prioritise and time manage successfully and effectively so that I’m producing work that is to the best of my ability and is work that I’m proud of. I’ve also learned how to develop and follow a system successfully and this has been highly useful when creating my process book and exhibition deliverables as without a system, the design of both of these would have probably been all over the place. The way a brand identity works and looks is something that I’ve also learned, as before this unit, I had never even considered it or thought about it and didn’t exactly know what it was, however, I now find the whole concept really interesting and once I had figured out what a brand identity was and how to create one, I really enjoyed the process. Finally, I’ve learnt that G. F. Smith is way too expensive for my student budget so will be taking advantage of their free samples in the future.

 What I thought was successful

I felt that throughout the series and systems project we developed a successful system to work with and produced final outcomes that worked both as a set and individually. We worked well as a group and thought up a way of presenting our posters that wasn’t your standard piece of paper. During the spatial communication project, I feel that we represented our word “pose” successfully in the town centre by creating two experiments which we recorded. I feel that our experiments were successful and managed to communicate the definition that we chose in a way that wasn’t obvious. I think that throughout the exhibit project, I was able to use what I had learnt from the series and systems brief and apply a system to my brand identity that was able to be rolled out across all of the deliverables. I feel that I researched thoroughly into my chosen theme and chose a topic that I was interested in conveying. I found that I developed my work from the feedback that I was given and took the advice of the tutors as to how to improve my work. I think that in the end I chose an appropriate typeface and colour palette to base my system around and was successful in creating a brand name/logo that I could use for my exhibition. My wayfinding and signage was produced from research and I feel that it portrays a sense of the inspiration that I got from this research.

 What I would improve

If I were to do it again, I would definitely have done more research for the moving brands project as I feel that I didn’t grasp what exactly an ident/bumper was and therefore didn’t produce something that adhered to the brief. I would have also made sure that we worked on both idents together rather than doing one each as there wasn’t any consistency between the two in terms of the message that we were sending and the style. I think, as a group, we could have pushed the experiments that we did for the Spatial Communications project a bit further, however, due to the time limit, I feel that we did the best that we could do given the circumstances. Throughout the series and systems project, I probably would have communicated a bit better and discussed my ideas more as I felt that our final outcome wasn’t as strong as it could have been. If I were to do the Exhibit project again, I would have made sure I understood the brief, especially what it means to create a brand identity, before I started to develop my brand identity and deliverables as I feel that I could have saved a lot of time and could maybe have produced a more successful brand identity as I would have been able to experiment more with how the brand identity was conveyed. I would have also made sure that I asked one of the tutors for help when I didn’t understand something rather than stressing out about it on my own. For the next project, I will make more of an effort to make my blog more formal so that I can just copy most of it to put into my process book rather than typing out a whole new document and hopefully save myself some time.

[opepin]

march: week 4

20: lots of cramping and gas going on lol. well, i rushed in the morning because i stayed in bed 10 minutes after my alarm rang. then the red line had some delays, but i still got to work before 9:30 am, ahah. it was a pretty chill day in the office. i ate lunch at my desk because i had a call when everyone else was eating :< craii. i ordered daniel’s bday present and also managed to print out the amazon return label. i kind of lost fuel one hour before the day ended because of my stomach and cramps, but it’s okay! it happens, haha. i got home at like 5:30 pm and then snacked a bit before doing my 45 minute cardio workout. then i made rice and headed upstairs to shower. i had to bring all of my shower and skin care stuff to the bathroom x__x; it was a nice shower though because the shower head is 2x as strong as ours for some reason. hopefully, that gets fixed too.

kevin got back and we went ot bj’s to pick up croissants. he really wanted them. we devoured two on the way back and then he went to shower while i prepped the veggies. LOL and then i made a mistake where i threw out the white ends of the chives when i wasn’t supposed to and then i took them out of the garbage (was pretty clean) and washed them like 30x times. i was going to lie to kevin about them but then i broke down and told him what happened and he couldn’t stop laughing at me. if baby brain exists does period brain exist too? LOL. kevin finished cooking and then we ate and watched an episode of ‘how to get away with murder.’ then kevin washed the dishes and we headed up to brush our teeth. kevin gamed for the rest of the night and i laid in bed nursing another tension headache until i fell asleep at like 1 am.

21: i woke up with the tension in my neck and shoulder and our shower was still getting fixed so i worked from home. we woke up to the maintenance guys’ knock on the door and they said they would come back in an hour or so because we were still in bed. so then we slept for 30 minutes more and then went upstairs to brush our teeth. the wifi in the suite still didn’t work so kevin sent me the information while he commuted to work. we ate breakfast and then stopped by the front to sign a card and drop off some money for our maintenance and cleaning staff appreciation thingy. then i headed upstairs and changed and brought my stuff to the suite to work. i recorded some videos and then caught up with phil. i got the ‘ok’ to start implementing some of my changes. i’m so excited! then i ate lunch and looked at headsets. i realized that kien and haowei are getting pro gamer headsets LOL. cole suggested the arctis 5 and i might get it. we’ll see.

i went back down to the apartment and finished editing videos and ended my day with a call. then i washed dishes, put on rice, snacked on a croissant, and did an hour workout focusing on obliques. kevin came home a bit later than expected because he was working on a problem. i went to shower while kevin cooked dinner. he got really dried out and tired while cooking so he went to shower after cooking while i watched ‘reign’ and tried catching a good tapu koko. i’m hoping to catch a tapu every other time i game LOL. i didn’t catch one at the end of the day though. we ate and watched two? episodes of ‘how to get away with murder’ and then kevin washed dishes and then we brushed our teeth together upstairs. i finished watching ‘reign’ in bed and then went to sleep at 1:15 am? kevin stayed up debating stock market things or something ahah.

22: i actually didn’t need to rush in the morning. i got dressed before brushing my teeth because i had to go upstairs to the suite to brush my teeth and then ate breakfast and i was on the train at 8:34 am! i met sultan for the first time in person and met our new front end dev, joe today. it was a really quiet office -- only the marketing team and product team were in the office. it was a productive morning. i ordered the arctis 7 in white for my headset for work and then i worked on tutorials. everyone online was busy so i just worked and listened to music. the day went by pretty quickly. we scrambled at the end of the day because of an issue that we really needed to solve together. it was fun doing that and figuring it out. i left at like 5:15 pm after cleaning up things with phil for the client and then i met kevin at the train station :) he made it just in time to get on the train!

i told him about my day and when we got back, i watched ‘jane the virgin’ while trying to catch a good tapu koko. i was close twice but one wasn’t timid nature and the other didn’t have perfect speed :< my hand was cramping so i quit and i cleaned up the bathroom. kevin made stir fry potato slivers and braised chicken with mushrooms for dinner. mmm. the potatoes were hella spicy but when we put more salt, it tasted better. we watched 3 episodes? of ‘how to get away with murder.’ there’s so much sex this season .__. LOL but we’re getting to the good part now. we stopped so i could exercise. oh, our water pressure for the shower is perfect now! it’s waay stronger. kevin took a nice long shower and after my workout, i cleaned the kitchen. i got irritated at kevin for not vacuuming when i asked him to and when he did it, it was half-heartedly. :/ but he cooked today and he just showered so i just re-vacuumed spots and swiffered the floors before showering. i was still a bit irritated but it was dumb to get mad at him for it. so i waited for him to finish up gaming and then went to sleep when he did :)

23: i almost forgot my lunch today but i went back and got on the later train because the train just left as i got on the platform ;( i shared the weird tasting totaste green tea biscuits in the office and steve’s reaction was the best. everyone else said it was alright. diego surprised me and said it tasted like olive oil and he wasn’t disgusted at all. hmmm. oh, diego came into the office without me bothering him to come in :P yay! i was pretty productive today. i had a few long meetings, but it was alright. i ended my day with a meeting that kind of went over in time so i had to jump off, pack up, and then go to the chocolate shop with cole. i got chocolate covered gummy bears and dark chocolate peanut butter cups. cole bought the gummy bears for me because of all the snacks i’ve given him -- thanks bro! T^T i made it to south station 2 minutes later than kevin -- i broke my winning streak ;( ahaha.

we got home and played pokemon and cuddled and watched tv while the rice cooked. we made super easy omurice and then continued watching tv and gaming. mmm. it felt like a friday. we stopped at around 11 pm, kevin washed the dishes, and i did 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of back workout (15 minutes with dumb bells). idk if it’s gonna work because maybe the weights are too light? we’ll see. then i showered and ko’d in bed. mm i wish it was friday, but i’m also working from home tomorrow so nbd! i also caught a pretty good tapu koko! tapu lele is so hard to catch T^T my next challenge... p.s. i love talking and hanging out with everyone at t7. everyone is great and so funny. i’m so grateful.

24: my upper back was in so much pain when i woke up, ahha. kevin got up later than usual because i was still in bed (wfh). :) i got myself up eventually and then made breakfast and recorded videos. i also weighed myself in the morning and i don’t talk about this a lot but i’m so happy and proud of myself for pushing myself physically and getting to my body/health goals, BUT this morning i was 117/118 lbs and 19.7% body fat. yaaaasssss! my “previous goals” were to lose all the weight i gained (i was at like 130 lbs last year), and then get to 20% body fat. my now goal is to maintain this body fat or if i’m feeling bored, go further without changing my diet so it’s solely dependent on how hard i work out. it feels so good to eat whatever i want and stop when i know it’s too much and then work it off and get stronger. i’ve stopped being so dependent on calorie counting and just knowing what foods and portion sizes are good for me. i think i’m pretty close to having a good understanding of how much i should eat everyday and what it will do to my body. i’m getting there and i’m always learning about myself and about food of course ;D

anyway, then i ate lunch and ate some chocolate. mmm these dark chocolate peanut butter cups are the best. i talked to cole and dropped some food knowledge while he had some down time haha. phil told me to take the day easy after 3 pm because sultan and byron had off time today. so that’s what i did! i recorded 5 videos (record!) and then spent a good amount of time uploading pictures on facebook. i took a day off from exercising because my upper back was killing me. instead, i played pokemon for the rest of the day with kevin. we cuddled on the couch while watching tv and playing pokemon the rest of the night. we didn’t even cook dinner because kevin had happy hour and ate sliders and wings so i just baked some chicken nuggets. we took a break to shower and then play some more in bed and then went to sleep pretty late...like at 3:30 am or something...LOL

25: kevin woke up earlier than me and made breakfast. by “earlier” i mean like he woke up at 11 am and i got up at 1 pm LOL. it was a cloudy day so i didn’t feel like recording my 2min showcase... i skipped the meal because i felt full and we went to the movies to get tickets to see ‘logan.’ the 7:20 pm time was totally booked and same with ‘get out’ so we got tickets for ‘logan’ tomorrow at 7:20 pm. :) then we drove over to ‘oh my tea’ and i got the pudding, grass jelly, and boba milk tea drink (this is my second favorite drink there, especially for like a dessert kind of day) and kevin got the strawberry lemonade. i didn’t like his drink. Dx we devoured our drinks before we even got back home. well, kevin finished as we walked into the apartment... kevin tried making general tso’s chicken...it was a spicy af half failure -- tasted too salty and not sweet enough. the spice was too much as well...

while kevin did this, i nluu proofed our kitchen (haha i really enjoyed doing this). then i washed the fleece blankets. we ate, watched some tv, and then kevin left to go climb. i finished getting all of the pokemon in moon though!!! i just need kevin’s kartana -__-” so then i switched over to finally playing ‘bravely default.’ daniel got this game for me for my birthday like forever ago. it was hard getting into it but now i’m hooked. i watched ‘reign’ while playing this and then when kevin got back, we had a quick dinner and tv session and then i continued gaming. i stopped myself at 10 pm to do the intense 60 minute kickboxing video i found a week ago and then showered and continued gaming in bed until 3:30 am again LOL. omg, that work out killed me and reminded me that rest days should be light workout days and not “i’m not going to move anywhere for the whole day” days... the circulation in my legs and arms made me scratch everywhere and it was not pleasant but the work out felt good.

26: we woke up at 12 pm, kevin played pokemon and i played bravely default in bed until 1 pm, kevin made us breakfast, and i recorded my 2min showcase video. i hope it doesn’t turn out too bad? i don’t feel real motivated this week, but i’ll do my best to keep on schedule. then i did some internet errands, figured out our meals for this week, i started laundry, and then we went grocery shopping. we thought we were done early until kevin wanted to get fermented foods for congee and then we forgot to get vanilla mochi.... then we went in circles looking for chocolate syrup at rochebro’s and then we finally made it to bj’s where the express line was kinda long x__x; we made it back, put away all the food, transferred the wet clothing into the dryer, and then kevin realized we forgot to get garlic so he left to get garlic, i washed the dishes and prepped for dinner. luckily, the recipe was quick and we ate before heading out to see “logan.”

whyyyyyyyy?! i cried haha. it was a damn good movie and the little girl is a beast. <3 me and kevin had a semi-argument about character design for females vs male when it comes to “mutants” and things like that on the way back. i folded clothes when we got back, ate the mochi with some chocolate syrup, curled my hair, and then did the 45 minute cardio video. then i showered and brushed my teeth and got into bed. i stayed up until almost 2 am watching videos and waiting for kevin to finish watching the dota game. then kevin woke up at 2:30 am because he couldn’t sleep due to the fact that our upstairs neighbors were blasting music and talking loud af. kevin actually went upstairs and knocked on their door and no one answered... he also sent an email to deco to complain and then he fell asleep with earphones... i think he was listening to dota commentary LOLOL.