#I am a social disaster

[moeblob]

New OCs

(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)

OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.

[soldier-poet-king]

i also need to engage w more weird art. just. in general. i dont really watch movies. but like. visual art. books. zines. idgaf. i am going to start doing more of that. for me.

if u wanna send me ur fave weird art recs that you think i'd vibe with, please do.

[simonstamenovic]

ok hi haha lol I dont rly feel like going in circles in my head forever trying to figure out whether, among other "smaller" things, being left alone in a room w only media as a child and not feeling like I had even a semblance of a personality for most of my life counts as "trauma"

a lot of these parts of me are new, I'm just recently putting names to them and it feels as though I'm developing facets of personalities in my mid 20s after a lifetime of either feeling like I'm basically just ADHD in a person, an amalgamation of kins shoved into a body, or something made of guilt Also shoved into a body.

I don't like, claim to know what this means. but I don't think a lot of my current mutuals would feel comfortable interacting w me bc I don't necessarily believe in the black and white of what plurality is. I'm not able or planning on getting any formal diagnosis and while I'm discussing this w my therapist they're very much not one to pathologize

I definitely don't feel like one person but I dont think id count for most of you as a "system" as the different parts of me feel as though theyre still developing. take all of this as you will, I'm not going to stress my body out more by trying to figure out "what" I am as I've been doing that my whole life and I'm kinda tired of it.

I know that I'm not entirely one thing and feel Enough like multiple things for myself, but blurred in a lot of ways. like some sort of gem with many different facets.

not sure where to go w this tbh take this how you will. im not comfortable saying I'm leaning one way or the other regarding system discourse, (<- not a phrase i want to use but the best shorthand i have) as I genuinely don't believe the human brain is nearly that black and white.

I'm both "me" and very much not "me" at times. idk what this means but ik I'm not comfortable saying im just pandora and im not sure im "allowed" to say im a system and im not sure if it matters, or should matter, regarding friends. im going to be like this regardless, id unfollow me if this grey area im likely to stay in bothers you

if you don't want me refollowing I'd probably block, too, as my memory is bad

[disorganizedkitten]

Listen. I deeply dislike being my own PR team.

This feels like such a dumb thing to complain about but genuinely it's?? so much work? I have social anxiety but equally it is my own responsibility to network and make my own work sound appealing and it's just. Such a Feeling.

I can talk about myself and my writing all the time, that part's not hard at all, but making sure that when I talk about it it sounds appealing? Being in charge of enticing others to actually interact?

Deeply tiring. I dislike interactions whose goal is advertisement and I UNDERSTAND it's different when it's indie creators and fanworks and not capitalism/consumerism but I think I'm still a bit rough from consumer culture, you know?

I just want to create and shout into the void and it not be tiring but at the same time I crave validation and I want to be known and it is. a dilemma.

[porcelainfreak-zacrucian]

Fucking hell I am going to have A WEEK

[inkandarsenic]

The height difference between Lucifer and Morpheus amuses me to no end.

[baerryjj]

Me when I find out I have to actually write for my fic to continue

[impossible-rat-babies]

actually no yeah I’m still bothered by The Things but several Other Things Aren’t Helping

[petorahs]

the first few art pieces for a new interest are always the loneliest, in my experience

[upsidedowngrass]

look, liam , after getting home, would be a nightmare to take places. bryce, owen, whoever, would dread taking him to social functions, but not because of concern for him . no, its because he would NOT realize when certain terrible things are inappropriate to say to strangers. people would be joking about murder or smth which is actually not too ridiculous of a topic to joke about, and hed try to chime in with "yknow, i have actually tried to kill someone before, and it is NOT how anyone actually expects haha. way more surreal and upsetting that people think" and itd be an actual attempt to join in but whoever brought him would have to very quickly go HES JOKING. i promise hes joking. haha liams sooooo funny. it would only then occur to liam that oh, that WASNT a normal thing to say was it. and then theyd leave

[hannah-ceilidh]

How do people know what to say all the time 😭

[springs-hurts]

I am the only one in my family who never calls her cousins or other family members, never holds a long distance convo with any of them...talk bout lack of conversation or social skills... Gonna lose even my family the way it's going on lol( I've quite a big family)

[ohgodwhatwasthat]

I.. might be going to my first pride event today. It wasn’t planned.. but I’m kinda excited? I hope it goes well

I genuinely had nothing planned for pride, i was probably not gonna do anything (yeah that’s lame I know but whatever) but my mom said that there was a small event going on nearby and suggested itd be fun to go to, so now we’re going??

(For context my mother is an ally and has LOVED going to general ‘outings’ (festivals,farmers markets, fairs, carnivals, etc. literally anything of that type, she loves that shit) my entire life. So it’s likely she also just wanted to go to the lowkey event of the week (lmao) but I love her for that and im glad she’s that type of fun loving person)

[grazziella]

listening to the soundtrack for the first time in like a month and i'd forgotten how powerful the jet song makes me

[achillvs]

i finish a thing. two news things show up. both of which i willingly signed myself up to do.

the torment is unending.

[midsummerknife]

.