#I am so glad they put my boys on the cover of season 21

[methinmycoffee]

I WENT TO A DVD STORE AND I FOUND THIS AND I AM DYING

They had a whole Trey Parker section (ignore the bottom row) it was under “Cult, “Parker, Trey” and there was Orgasmo and BASEketball and it was so fun. I will return one day and rent them all

[flourgirl]

Sick of Losing Soulmates

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Months after you and Peter have broken up, you run into each other at Harry’s Christmas party.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Both fluffy and angsty. Mentions of alcohol and sex. A mild amount of curse words.

A/N: I’m ALIVE! I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season, and Merry Christmas to everybody that celebrates it! I am so happy to be able to share my work with all of you! Enjoy <3

“And maybe we got lost in translation Maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece Till you tore it all up” -All Too Well, Taylor Swift

He wasn’t supposed to be here. Harry had promised you that his roommate would be spending the holidays with May back in Queens. But here he was, wearing the sweater that you had given him last year with his arm snaked around another girl’s waist.

“Hey!” Betty grinned, throwing her arms around you. She had a half-empty glass of mulled wine that you could tell was doing a good job of getting her tipsy. “I’ve missed you so much, Y/N. We never see each other anymore.”

She pouted, a pair of reindeer antlers where her signature black headband usually sat. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” you assured her, still staring at Peter effortlessly carrying the conversation with a bunch of people you didn’t recognize. “Uh, who’s the girl with Peter?”

“Gwen Stacy,” she muttered, obviously not a very big fan. You figured it was because there was only room for one preppy blonde girl, and Betty didn’t feel like sharing that position with anybody else. “Don’t worry though! It’s nothing serious. Peter actually hasn’t really dated anybody ever since the two of you…”

Her voice trailed off as you locked eyes with her, silently communicating for her to drop the subject. It was a relief to know that he hadn’t moved on, but the fact that he was wrapped up in a fling with somebody else still made your heart hurt.

“Come on, Y/N. I’m sure MJ and Ned would love to see you! They’re over in the kitchen.” She reached for your hand, dragging you along through Harry’s expertly decorated apartment. 

You dropped the box of cookies that you had baked on the counter before tapping MJ on the shoulder. She was turned away from you, lecturing Ned on why his secondhand Beyblades were not acceptable Christmas presents.

“Who the hell is touching me?” she snapped, turning around with a look on her face that told you she was ready to throw hands. “Holy fuck. Y/N! How long have you been here?”

MJ’s frown faded into a smile as she pulled you into a side-hug, her other hand busy nursing a glass of Harry’s infamously terrible eggnog. “Only a few minutes,” you laughed, your face smushed into her torso. 

“Hi,” Ned piped up, offering a small wave. You could tell he didn’t really know where he stood ever since his best friend basically ripped your heart out and threw it on the floor. Well, it wasn’t actually that dramatic, but he had a flair for exaggerating stories. “Remember me?”

“Of course, stupid,” you grinned, offering a fist bump that he happily accepted. “How could I forget those iconic fits of yours?”

“True,” he said, popping his collar and doing a little twirl that made Betty and MJ roll their eyes. “You look pretty fly too, though.”

“Thanks,” you replied, holding the edge of your dress as you curtsied, something you and Ned had made a habit of doing as the so-called best dressed members of the group.

“You two are just as ridiculous as ever,” Betty mused, happy to see you still fit in just as perfectly as when you were Peter’s girlfriend, even if you weren’t around as much.

The reunion was interrupted by the loud chatter of a certain couple, and your heart sank as you watched a very drunk Peter and Gwen stumble towards the kitchen, a giggling mess. They situated themselves under the archway that separated the two rooms, a piece of mistletoe conveniently hanging above them. 

You could tell that MJ was ready to put a stop to her friend’s embarrassing behavior, and the looks on Ned and Betty’s faces told you that they had no intentions of holding her back. 

“They’re so gross,” MJ complained, setting down her untouched cup before excusing herself to drag Peter out of his drunken makeout session. “I can’t believe he’d do that when you’re right here!”

“Wait, MJ,” you blurted, grabbing onto her wrist to stop her. She turned to face you, her eyebrows furrowed. “It’s okay. I don’t care about it. I’m just going to head to the bathroom, alright? I’ll be right back.”

You did your best to stop yourself from tearing up, although you realized you had made the utter mistake of forgetting that the very arch that Peter and Gwen were sucking each other’s faces under was the only way out of the kitchen.

Not even a few moments of you awkwardly standing next to them, occasionally clearing your throat, made them notice you. Eventually, the discomfort grew too heavy, and you tapped Peter on the shoulder. He finally pulled away from Gwen, her lipstick smudged across his mouth and a dazed look on his face.

Gwen whimpered at the loss of his kiss, obviously annoyed at the random girl that had just interrupted them. As soon as Peter recognized that it was you, he stepped away from her, wiping his mouth and fixing the hair she had been running her hands through, just like you used to.

“Y/N. I didn’t know that you’d be here,” he reasoned, a blush spreading across his face as a sense of regret settled into his stomach. 

“Obviously,” you sighed. This wasn’t the Peter you knew—the sweet, shy one that you had fallen in love with. “You guys are blocking the hallway, by the way.”

“Shit, sorry,” he stammered, stepping aside to allow you to pass in between them. He followed you, leaving Gwen irritated and confused as to who you were. “Y/N. Can we talk later?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Nice sweater, though,” you quipped, not even turning back to meet his gaze before climbing the stairs towards the guest bathroom. Everything felt all too familiar, memories of you and Peter stumbling up the same steps after a date flooding your brain.

The first time Peter had kissed you was after MJ’s birthday party. Neither of you had been drinking, since you hated alcohol and Peter refused to touch any before he turned 21. This meant that you got to spend the whole night laughing at everybody else’s drunken mischief. 

In the middle of his performance of some Nicki Minaj song, Ned managed to spill a whole can of beer on you and Peter, which resulted in many cheers as the two of you ran to his room to grab a change of clothes. Shirts came off, confessions were made, and the party went on without you guys.

You took a deep breath, shutting the bathroom door behind you and sitting on the edge of the bathtub. If you had known Peter would end up being here, you would have never accepted Harry’s invitation. There were so many old wounds being opened up that you had spent months trying to heal, and you weren’t sure some stupid Christmas party was worth it. 

But you didn’t want to leave. It wasn’t fair how much the break up had stolen from you. All of your friends were here and you were tired of shying away from going out with them anymore because you were too scared to see Peter. Too scared that you would never be able to stop being in love with him.

By the time you rejoined the rest of your friends, Harry was announcing that it was time to start the game of White Elephant. You bit the edges of your fingernails as the party guests filed into Harry’s living room, hoping that Peter wouldn’t somehow pick your present.

“What’d you bring?” you asked Betty, squishing in next to her on the couch. 

“Gift card to In-N-Out,” she giggled, satisfied that her present could only be used on the other side of the country. “But Harry’s rich friends might not have any trouble flying their private jets to California, so maybe I’m not as clever as I thought.”

“Heard that,” Harry said, leaning behind you on the edge of the couch. He placed a quick kiss on your cheek, something the two of you had always done as friends but stopped once you started dating Peter. “Hey, Y/N. Glad you could make it.”

“Hey, you,” you replied, smiling back at him, your leg bouncing impatiently. “We doing this thing or what?”

“Yeah, yeah, give me a minute,” he laughed, running out of the room. Moments later, he came back wearing a fake beard and a Santa hat, complete with a miniature sack of toys. 

“Alright, boys and girls. Let’s get this game started! Hopefully you all know the rules, but I’ll repeat them anyway. I draw a name out of the sack, you pick a random present and open it up for everybody to see. The next person that goes can either steal your gift or pick a new one. If your gift gets stolen, you get to do the same. No stealing twice!”

The first couple of people you didn’t really know, and they had all pulled presents that were relatively uninteresting. A scented candle, toilet paper, a pair of socks. Nothing you really considered worth stealing, although Ned ended up taking a framed, autographed photo of Harry from MJ, which resulted in her stealing Gwen’s mini waffle iron.

By the time it was your turn, there weren’t many gifts left. Going with your gut, you grabbed the bag covered in glittering polar bears. Reaching past all of the tissue paper stuffed inside, you pulled out a red sweatshirt that you unfolded to see had a large graphic of Spider-Man printed on it. 

“Oh,” you said, a little confused. The only people you knew that wore stuff with the Avengers on it were little kids, but you figured that was part of the joke. “I mean, I prefer Captain America, but thanks, whoever this is from!”

Peter’s face blushed to a shade of red, amazed that out of all the presents, you picked his. The only issue was that you didn’t know that he was actually the guy on the front of it. Nobody except Ned knew, although he was sure that MJ and Harry had caught on to his secret identity by now.

“Okay, two people left. Jake, you’re up next, buddy,” Harry called out, happily bouncing around the room, his Santa hat now replaced with a baseball cap that had “I Love Ned!” embroidered on it. You watched nervously as he walked around the room, eyeing up all of the presents before settling on the tiny, golden box that you had placed under the tree when you first arrived.

“Let’s see what we’re working with,” he smirked. Your thoughts raced, immediately feeling a sense of regret over the gift you had picked. “Oh, shit. Sweet! I’ve got a date with Y/N!”

“Sup, baby,” Jake continued, his words slightly slurred. He pointed at you and winked, and you offered him a polite smile in return. “We’re gonna have a good time. Just name the time and place and I got you.”

“Awesome, congrats, man,” Harry said, obviously ready for the game to be over. It had been going for way longer than any of you had expected, mostly due to the fact that two girls wouldn’t stop arguing over a piece of rose quartz. “Okay, we’re nearly finished, guys. Peter, you’re up. Pick any of the gifts that haven’t been stolen yet, or the last one under the tree.”

You locked eyes with him, a familiar scowl on his face that told you he was thinking really hard about which gift to pick. His spidey-senses felt your heartbeat pick up as he walked around the room before stopping in front of Jake, who was busy gloating to his friend about how “hot” you were. Your face heated up as you watched Peter take the little note that you had written out of Jake’s hands, smugly gesturing for him to pick up the present under the tree.

He waved sheepishly at you, and you felt both relieved and angry at his decision. Did you want to go on that date with Jake? No. Were you still mad that, technically, you now had to go out with your ex-boyfriend? Yes.

The game ended and the party-goers dispersed throughout the apartment. You lingered in your spot on the couch, your arms crossed and heart full of mixed emotions. Peter, whose gaze never strayed from you, walked over to where you were sitting.

“We don’t actually have to go out,” he whispered, hoping that you’d actually look at him this time. “I just didn’t think you wanted to go out with that guy. He seemed like kind of an asshole.”

“Yeah, well, it would have been nice if you let me decide that. You’re not my boyfriend, anymore Peter. We aren’t even friends. You don’t get a say in who I go out on dates with,” you grumbled, your eyes focusing on everything in the room except for him.

Before you could say anything else, Peter had already grabbed you by the hand, dragging you away from the rest of the party. Strangely enough, you went along with it, a little curious to hear him out.

You started to remember your first date, and it was almost like you could hear his excited laughter after you finally managed to knock a pin down. It became a tradition that whenever you had something to celebrate, Peter would pick you up and twirl you around until you had to beg him to stop.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Peter slamming the door behind him and cornering you against it, his heartbeat racing. He had pulled you into the laundry room. “I can’t stand seeing you with anybody else,” he panted, eyes flickering down towards your mouth.

His hand pushed a piece of your hair behind your ear, and your breath hitched as you felt his rough fingertips against your skin. But before he could lean in to kiss you, you were ducking underneath his arm and backing away.

“Peter, we really shouldn’t,” you whispered, watching the disappointment wash over his face. No matter how much you wanted to kiss him, you just couldn't forget how he had broken your heart months ago. “It’s over, okay?”

“Y/N, please. I—”

“You what? You love me? Because last time we were together, I told you how much I loved you and you said that we should break up. Remember?” you cried, embarrassed at how you couldn’t control your emotions anymore. “You’re just… you’re too late.”

You fumbled with the door, slipping through the opening before rushing towards the balcony. As soon as the cold air hit you, a wave of relief washed over your body, and you laid your head against the metal railing. Your breathing slowed and time seemed to stand still as you watched the snowflakes flutter through the wind.

“Peter’s an idiot,” you heard a voice call out from behind you. You turned to see Harry holding an extra coat in his arms, and you started to wonder just how long you had been standing out there. He draped it over your shoulders before leaning next to you against the balcony’s edge.

“Huh?” you asked, wondering if he knew what had just happened. You looked at him, the multicolored Christmas lights reflecting off his shiny hair. “What do you mean?”

“He’s stupid for ever letting you go,” he remarked. He had a look in his eyes that made you unsure of what he actually meant. “I mean, look at you. You’re so beautiful, and smart, and funny. And if he was dumb enough to throw all of that away, then yeah, Peter’s an idiot.”

“Oh, thanks, I guess,” you shrugged, your voice faint under the music that was still playing inside. You looked at him, his cheeks a rosy hue, which you couldn’t tell was from the cold or whatever he was trying to tell you.

“You know, I used to have the biggest crush on you,” Harry admitted, laughing a little bit at how nervous he was. Everybody knew that he was a player, so being flustered over a girl was uncharted territory for him. “I never told you this, but you were my first kiss.”

“Wait, really?” you asked, a little shocked at his confession. “But I thought you kissed Sarah Emerson on the playground in the fifth grade?”

“Nope. I was just a liar,” he grinned, running a hand through his hair. “It was right before our eighth grade formal, when you asked me to teach you how to kiss because you were scared that Jeremy Pellegrino was going to try and french you.

“Oh! I forgot all about that,” you laughed, suddenly remembering just how long you and Harry had been friends. “Hold on a second... You gave me kissing lessons without knowing how to kiss!?”

“Guilty,” Harry chuckled as you punched him on the arm. “Ow! Damn, Y/N. When did you get so strong?”

“I have a lot of rage,” you mumbled before the two of you burst out into laughter, which slowly faded into a comfortable silence. 

“You don’t feel that way anymore, right?” you wondered out loud. Harry looked at you, smiling softly.

“No, not anymore,” he affirmed, and you let out a sigh of relief. You knew what it felt like to love someone and not be loved back. “I think what really helped me get over it was seeing how happy you and Parker were when you were dating.” 

“He misses you a lot,” Harry continued, his tone more serious than before. “He keeps this scarf that you left behind under his pillow because it still smells like you. I found out because he was having a pretty bad dream one night and I had to try really hard to calm him back down. And we both thought Gwen would help him move on and get his mind off of you, but I think she only made him realize just how much he still loves you—”

“Harry,” you interrupted, cutting his rambles short. “Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Because you and Peter should be together.”

“You think so?” you asked him, pulling the jacket tighter to keep you warm.

“Yeah. We all do.” It took only seconds for Harry to realize his fumble, accidentally admitting that the whole thing had been planned by him and your friends.

“We?” Your frowned, all of the coincidences from tonight suddenly making much more sense. “Wait, did you know that Peter was going to be here tonight all along?”

“Uh… yeah, about that. MJ, Ned, and I have kind of been pulling a Parent Trap on you guys.”

“HARRY!” You glared inside to see them not-so-secretly watching the entire exchange from behind the Christmas tree. Ned did some awkward finger guns, which MJ immediately swatted down. “I am so going to get you guys!”

You marched inside to where your friends were attempting to hide, the rest of the party guests too drunk and oblivious to notice what was happening. 

“The eagle has left the nest. I repeat, The eagle has left the nest!” Ned yelled, ducking behind MJ, who was already shielding herself with a throw pillow.

“What’s going on?” Betty whined, half-asleep on the couch. “Is this that stupid plan about Peter and Y/N?”

“It’s not stupid!” Harry grumbled, his voice cracking a little bit. You could hear MJ snorting about it from her hiding spot. “Whatever, Michelle.”

“Shut up!” she shouted back.

“No, you!” he said, crossing his arms and standing his ground.

“Make me,” MJ said, narrowing her eyes and shooting daggers at him.

“Uh, guys. This isn’t about you two,” Ned interrupted, snapping them out of their mini argument. There was a weird tension between them that you just knew you would have to address some time in the future.

“Right,” MJ continued, sticking a middle finger up at Harry before turning to you. “Y/N. You should go talk to Peter.”

You nodded, exchanging hopeful looks with each of your friends before walking away. They might be dramatic goofballs, but you loved them so much that you didn’t really care.

Wandering around the party, you spotted Peter trapped in a conversation with Brad Davis, who was explaining his conspiracy theories about the Denver Airport and its demonic horse statue.

“So, all I’m saying is that they’re totally planning the end of the world over there. I mean, the Freemasons built an entire bunker for when they activate the nukes!” he rambled, Peter politely nodding along to his nonsense.

“Hey,” you said, tapping Brad on the shoulder and batting your eyelashes at him. “Can I borrow Peter?”

“Uh, yeah, totally, Y/N,” he stuttered, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards into a smirk. You could smell the peppermint Schnapps on his breath.

“Great. Thanks, Brad!” you smiled, grabbing Peter’s hand and pulling him towards the staircase. By the time you made it to his bedroom, he had already asked what was going on about ten times.

“Why’d you dump me?” you asked, the two of you sitting together on the edge of his bed, your knee brushing against his. He could tell you were wasting no time in getting to the point. “Be honest.”

He stared at the floor, unsure of how to answer your question. You reached for his hand, running your thumb across his knuckles until he looked up to see you smiling at him. His eyes were starting to water. “Just tell me, Peter. It’s okay.”

“I was scared,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “I was scared of how much I love you. I mean, Liz was just a crush, and Gwen was a hookup. I’ve only ever loved you, Y/N. Before we met, I had to watch May’s heart break day after day when we lost Uncle Ben, and when I realized how much I loved you... I just wasn’t sure if I could handle ever losing you like that. And so I felt like I needed to protect you from all of the people who would want to hurt you.”

“Hey, Peter. Calm down. I’m right here,” you whispered, wiping a tear from his face. You watched as his breathing slowed, eventually evening out. “Why would anybody want to hurt me?”

“Because…” he started, hesitating a little bit. “Because I’m Spider-Man.”

Your eyes grew big as you mulled over what he had just said. “Are you being serious right now?”

He nodded, feeling a weight lift from his chest. Your eyes followed him as he walked over to his closet, digging around through piles of clothes before he found what he was looking for.

“Holy shit,” you breathed out. Peter was holding up Spider-Man’s suit. His suit. The sweatshirt from earlier made a lot more sense now.

“I would never lie to you,” he said, folding it up and sitting back down. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I thought I was doing the right thing—that you’d be safe—but I was so stupid. I, uh, I think about you all the time. I worry whether you’ve gotten home alright and how your little brother’s doing and if your mom got the promotion that she wanted and—”

You cut him off with a kiss, something you had been dying to do ever since you shut his bedroom door. “I forgive you,” you sighed, gently playing with his hair.

Peter stared back at you, a grin slowly spreading across his face. “Does this mean that we’re back together?”

“Yep,” you confirmed, before leaning into another kiss. And another. And another.

“Wait,” Peter said, breaking away from you. “I have a present for you. It’s actually from when we first started dating, but I was waiting until Christmas to give it to you.”

He moved to his desk, digging through one of the drawers before pulling out a flash drive. “Here it is,” he smiled, dropping it into your hand. It had your name scribbled on it next to a cat sticker. “It’s a playlist. Of all the songs that make me think of you. I think it’s got around a hundred on there?”

“Wow,” you beamed, marveling at the little piece of plastic in your hand. “You’re making me look bad. I didn’t get you anything.”

“Not true. You owe me a date, remember?” he reminded you, wiggling his eyebrows and pulling you into his lap.

“You’re right. Let me think,” you hummed, running through all the ideas of what the two of you could do. “Oh! I got it. The Central Park Squirrel Census for this year just got released. What if we analyzed the data? You could do the wrangling and I could do the visualizations!”

“I love you so much,” he laughed, pressing a kiss onto the tip of your nose. You giggled as Peter buried his face into your shoulder, his grip around your waist tightening. “But you are such a nerd.”

“I’m your nerd, Parker,” you agreed, leaning further into his embrace. “Always have been and always will be.”

—————-

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P.S.: Please shoot me an ask or a reply if you’d like to be added to (or removed from) the taglist!

[morgan-n-cheese-91]

Rant while I’m watching

This is all season 10 the end of 9 and the begninng of 11? I think. This is copied from a chat of mine so I’m not gonna deal with the times. Please just read around them.

WAIT![7:54 PM]BITCH NO YOU CAN"T KILL CAS BITCH FUCKING NO[7:55 PM]OH SHIT[7:55 PM]OH SHIT[7:55 PM]Dean just made allllllll the mirrors frost[7:55 PM]that's nnot fucking good[7:59 PM]CAS WATCHED STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ok Sam has stopped pretending he's not scared of shit. You can clearly see the fear in his eyes now. And frankly it amazing.[11:14 PM]That sounds horrible[11:16 PM]but I'm more saying that more about Jared's acting skills.  ma dude.[11:20 PM]Sam[11:20 PM]Bro[11:21 PM]Dude[11:21 PM]nah[11:21 PM]nah Sam was complaining about Dean liking killing these vampires to much[11:24 PM]JODY IS A QUEEN AND SHE IS A GREAT MOM! TRY AND PROVE ME WRONG YOU WILL FAIL!  IS that a monster club?!?!?!?!?!?![11:27 PM]Could you settle for JB's? Was that a were shapeshifter battle?  My dude your as dead as your gf your gonna bleed out[11:29 PM]shush  MONSTER TURF WARS[11:50 PM]MONSTER MOFIEA[11:50 PM]I CAN"T FUCKING SPELL[11:52 PM]"Godfather with fangs."[11:52 PM]uh yea[11:55 PM]FUCKING SWEEDY TOD! Dean I know your bf is in a comanding roll and you think that's hot but please stop hitting on him[12:15 AM]Dam Dean.[12:15 AM]The King is back in town the king is back in town.[12:15 AM]THE King is BACK in town[12:21 AM]To the King and Queen of hell:[12:21 AM]Are we in heaven?[12:22 AM]You must be angels[12:22 AM]wow[12:24 AM]Crowley sold his soul for a longer dick[12:24 AM]pfft-[12:24 AM]I-[12:25 AM]I can't-[12:25 AM]I-[12:25 AM]OMG DUDE WHAT THE FUCK![12:25 AM]HAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!![12:26 AM]his son is so disaponted[12:30 AM]Dam Crowley's son got flame[12:30 AM]holy shit   Dean I swear to god you go all Lord of the Rings on this motherfucking blade I will pull a Tony Stark and take it way.[12:52 AM]Is this the Cas is a little girl episode?[12:55 AM]or not  I'm laughing at Metron's discribtion of Cas[12:59 AM]Dean shush[1:01 AM]Dean Cas are having a domistic[1:01 AM]and Sam's trying to medate[1:08 AM]We hate men like you[1:08 AM]He's your Leader's bf  who's a little off his rocker right now so shush[1:10 AM]Dean like the Fiddler on the roof[1:10 AM]It's canon[1:12 AM]Why is 6 afraid of 7?[1:12 AM]Cas: Prime number?????[1:12 AM]Sam: The fuck? that's like a 2nd grade riddle[1:13 AM]CAS KNOWS LOTRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![1:15 AM]SENSEBLE SHOES![1:16 AM][1:20 AM]Heaven: Your lame spring fling  Cas is dead[1:29 AM]Cas is sooooo[1:29 AM]Dead[1:30 AM]R I P[1:30 AM]Punish him[1:30 AM]Both Cas and Dean go WHAT?[1:31 AM]WHAT! OMG OMFG[1:32 AM]Pfft-[1:32 AM]Oop[1:32 AM]Rip Dean[1:34 AM]He's in love[1:34 AM]with "humanity"[1:35 AM]Thanos quoted Metatron  God Fucking dam it Dean  Dean will be glad to know that the Cubs finally win[2:12 AM]Fuck you died again Dean[2:14 AM]"you put on the flag of heaven..."[2:14 AM]Nah he put on the pan flag and then rekt y'all[2:17 AM]Dean's dead for what the 809th time?[2:17 AM]He'll be back[2:17 AM]Time will tell[2:18 AM]Sam he's fucking dead[2:18 AM]D E A D[2:18 AM]But he'll be back[2:19 AM]Chuck can't answer the phone right now[2:21 AM]ok ngl the blade doesn't really look real. It's looks like a prop[2:21 AM]Also[2:22 AM]WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK DEAN?![2:22 AM]HUH?[2:22 AM]YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD FUCKING IDEA?[2:22 AM]NO[2:22 AM]NOT A GOOD FUCKING IDEA[2:22 AM]DUMB[2:23 AM]Ok the way they played the opening of season 10 boi that was good[2:23 AM]OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo[2:23 AM]New title card[2:24 AM]Ok so I saw this somewhere but[2:25 AM]Soulless Sam, Crazy Cas, and Demon Dean, (why the fuck are all these allterations?) all at the same time would have been a riot[2:26 AM]Cas has a cold[2:27 AM]Did I just get a read suggestion for Spn x male instert, twice in a row?[2:27 AM]YES! YES I DID![2:33 AM]THe look of relisation[2:35 AM]Cas drives like a grandma[2:36 AM]He got hannah carsick[2:36 AM]and now is also dying so[2:39 AM]Sam's gonna murder Crowley and Dean[2:39 AM]Slowly[2:39 AM]and painfully[2:40 AM]If Sam exrosised Dean? What would happen?[2:40 AM]Would he just drop his body?[2:41 AM]Or would he just straight up die?[2:44 AM]How do they keep the knives up their sleeves without stabbing themselves[2:49 AM]Dean your a fucking slut yes  Sam stays quiet.[1:15 PM]Gets punch[1:16 PM]grunts[1:16 PM]"Proof of life,"[1:17 PM]OMG[1:17 PM]OMG[1:18 PM]20 y/o Dean[1:18 PM]yo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![1:18 PM]He looks so young[1:22 PM]Ignore me just skipping all the like odd sexual sences because either they're weird or I'm very embarressed by them[1:26 PM]cas is about to fall asleep behind the wheel and crash[1:31 PM]Cas is asleep on the couch  Words hurt[1:45 PM]YOU DON'T GET TO SAY SHIT  Hahahahahahahaha[1:55 PM]Omg[1:56 PM]Smoke bombb[1:56 PM]Sam has an asmatha attack[1:56 PM]Dean just looks at him[1:56 PM]like WEAK[1:57 PM]This is payback[1:57 PM]THis is dumb[1:58 PM]YES![1:58 PM]THE PRINCESS BRIDE![1:59 PM]just heals[1:59 PM]Sam just shows up and mauls him with holy water[2:03 PM]Where the fuck did you bring him Sam[2:03 PM]What is this?[2:03 PM]HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAW[2:05 PM]Garilla man gorilla man[2:09 PM]It's DEPRESSION DEAN but he's more homosidal  You went to fa[2:37 PM]*You went to far[2:44 PM]The music is like the Skywalker theme[2:47 PM]Lets play a high stakes game of hide and seek in the bunker[2:52 PM]HERE'S DEAN![2:54 PM]You don't want to play hide and seek anymore?[2:55 PM]Heal by hug[2:55 PM]-Cas[2:56 PM]Lillo and Stich?[2:56 PM]No[2:56 PM]Ey! IT WORKED[2:56 PM]IT WORKED[2:56 PM]IT WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!![2:58 PM]Good plan Sam[3:01 PM]WEREWOLVES OF LONDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![3:01 PM]AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO![3:01 PM]AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO![3:05 PM]Bitcoin[3:06 PM]Obama[3:06 PM]the ice caps  Did I just skip a whole episode to avoid the cringe fuck yea[4:10 PM]The two of them with cougers is the funniest thing  Ask Jeeves?[4:21 PM]More like Knives out[4:25 PM]I'm lactose intolerant[4:25 PM]Sam nice[4:25 PM]nice[4:30 PM]These ladies.[4:30 PM]Complaining about dating this guy who's 'ugly' But has an island.(edited)[4:31 PM]but thristing over Sam.[4:31 PM]Who's like I live out of my car[4:31 PM]it's not even my car[4:32 PM]It's by brother's[4:37 PM]"Not to mention Homosexuals"[4:38 PM]Don't mind me just DYING![4:38 PM]omg[4:38 PM]THE FLANNEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![4:45 PM]Dean shush[4:45 PM]your fine she's dead[4:50 PM]The snap of someone's neck sounds like a torilla chip  Cas what did you do to Jimmy?[5:14 PM]I'm sorry your kinda hot but I don't like you Hannah[5:15 PM]Hannah just dropped her vessel[5:15 PM]rip[5:22 PM]ok sometimes I feel like I care more about the car then they do  Crowley's mum?[5:30 PM]Crowley's mum[5:32 PM]The RETREAT[5:32 PM]HOW MUCH I hAVE HEARD ABOUT YOU![5:37 PM]THE 2 QUEENS![5:38 PM]Jodie's got hunting sense ON[5:38 PM]THE BOIS NO![5:38 PM]They all are gonna know y'all and blow y'all's covers no[5:40 PM]Jodie's about to comit murder[5:41 PM]dang  CAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![6:15 PM]YOUR VESSEL"S DAUGHTER"S IN TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![6:16 PM]Claire's about to murder your ass[6:17 PM]Lucifer popped your head[6:17 PM]Cas your not making this any better[6:19 PM]Yes he owns a tie[6:19 PM]No he's not gonna wear it right[6:21 PM]Missionary[6:23 PM]Claire's a vibe[6:24 PM]I'm vibing with Claire[6:27 PM]Ketchups a fruit[6:29 PM]Cas she stole your wallet[6:30 PM]EARTH GRAPHIC[6:30 PM][6:32 PM]Yes[6:32 PM]No[6:32 PM]You had to roast Sam like that[6:32 PM]Dean and you would vibe with this girl[6:32 PM]JUST VIBE![6:33 PM]IT"S A FRUIT[6:33 PM]Ask Sam[6:33 PM]dean and claire are on the same wave lenth[6:33 PM]ask sam[6:35 PM]yes[6:37 PM]You're offended over you worth in pigs?[6:39 PM]Rowna thought he was worth anything from 180-300 $[6:39 PM]and Crowley thinks he was worth any were from 300-500$[6:45 PM]He's a teddy bear and you would get along with his bf[6:47 PM]All three have been there done that[6:51 PM]Really love?[6:51 PM]I feel like that would be a stretch for y'all  Charlie's coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![7:53 PM]go get ketchup[7:53 PM]it's hell of a lot better  i like your sword char  Bad Charlie and Meh Dean is not a good combo[9:10 PM]CHARLIE JUST TOOK THE IMPALA![9:15 PM]Charlie broke his nose[9:15 PM]DAM![9:15 PM]USE THE FORSE![9:18 PM]Can we pleasse give charlie bad charlie's outfit?[9:18 PM]PLEASE?![9:18 PM]She looked so hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ok the impalas a bench seat[9:30 PM]there's a couple inches differance between the two[9:31 PM]I know from experance that my grandma and grandpa are only a little bit shorter than me but when I pratice driving by pulling out their car I feel crampted in the front seats.[9:32 PM]so either Sam's crampted the whole time[9:33 PM]or Dean has a little stretch to reach the petals[9:34 PM]Fuk dean just got taken too[9:35 PM]YO![9:35 PM]It's 13 y/o Dean[9:38 PM]Spit it out[9:39 PM]How have you lived this long?[9:39 PM]Huh'[9:39 PM]How are u 30?[9:39 PM]How are you alive?[9:44 PM]Doess teenage dean have the mark?[9:44 PM]I would think but?[9:45 PM]TOLD Y"ALL SAM GETSS SQUISHED[9:45 PM]Also Dean should not be driving he doesn't look legal  I’m watching you burn[10:03 PM]SHIT LITTLE SAMMY!!!!![10:04 PM]nvm[10:04 PM]You look amazing in a hoodie and nikes  Sam did you really use COBAIN as your name[10:16 PM]jesus dude  but they are listening to HOSTER!![10:36 PM]LIKE FUCK YEA[10:38 PM]Then they killed a guy  the impala has a crank[10:59 PM]i mean duh[10:59 PM]but  Charlie's not allowed to be dead[12:38 PM]she knew the rules and broke them  Dean's about to kill Sam but[12:45 PM]I'm laughing so hard  Don't mind me just refusing to watch 10 22 because Charlie died in 10 21 and I'm pissed[10:33 PM]like she knew the rules and broke them  I'm forcing myself to continue watching and Dean is getting pulled over[11:03 PM]I also just told him to be a lawful citzen even though you aren't[11:03 PM]and he's getting arsetted on non existent charges[11:04 PM]They found the id stash[11:04 PM]ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm[11:04 PM]dean used Freddy Mercury[11:04 PM]a known BI man as a cover[11:05 PM][11:07 PM]Sam has lured Crowley into a trap[11:07 PM]pfft[11:08 PM]Poor form even for you[11:08 PM]not my gun[11:09 PM]Petion to give Sam a hair tie[11:09 PM]Man bun that fucker man[11:10 PM]Dean's murdering a family and Sam's murdering Crowley[11:10 PM]What a world[11:11 PM]Die[11:13 PM]Bold words coming from you Sam[11:15 PM]Ginger whore[11:16 PM]Fucking Dean got captured by this fucking bitches[11:16 PM]you fucking dumbass[11:16 PM]both of you[11:17 PM]You can sorta see the camera in the relection of his eyes[11:18 PM]XXXXXDDDDDD[11:20 PM]I like that they stormed the bunker but no ones home because the ones who would be are DEAD![11:20 PM]and cas is where ever the fuck he is[11:22 PM]OH SHIT[11:23 PM]Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Beaten, why for Can't take much more (Here we go, here we go, here we go now) One, nothing wrong with me Two, nothing wrong with me Three, nothing wrong with me Four, nothing wrong with me One, something's got to give Two, something's got to give Three, something's got to give now Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Push me again This is the end (Here we go, here we go, here we go now) One, nothing wrong with me Two, nothing wrong with me Three, nothing wrong with me Four, nothing wrong with me One, something's got to give Two, something's got to give Three, something's got to give now Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Skin against skin, blood and bone You're all by yourself but you're not alone You wanted in and now you're here Driven by hate, consumed by fear Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor One, nothing wrong with me Two, nothing wrong with me Three, nothing wrong with me Four, nothing wrong with me One, something's got to give Two, something's got to give Three, something's got to give now Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Hey! Come! Hey! Come! Hey! Come! Hey! Come![11:24 PM]Don't burn the bloody photo I'm begging you[11:24 PM]Crappy taste my ass[11:25 PM]hes gay[11:26 PM]Dean's gonna raise holy hell on all because you burnt the pic of Mary[11:26 PM]Bringing holy hell on y'all[11:27 PM]Your dead buddy[11:27 PM]You killed Charlie and your gonna burn one of his only pics of his mom and Bobby[11:27 PM]Your fucking dead[11:28 PM]The man is covered in your family's blood and your mocking him about his sister's death[11:28 PM]not a good idea[11:29 PM]HOW MANY NIPPLES YOU GOT BOI?[11:29 PM]ttttttwo?[11:29 PM]Good   Head shot![11:30 PM]Dean[11:30 PM]Brother[11:30 PM]blood[11:31 PM]think[11:31 PM]Don't kill the boi[11:31 PM]please[11:31 PM]what the fuck[11:31 PM]-_-[11:32 PM]he was a human[11:34 PM]you're being a dick right now[11:34 PM]he just broke cas' arm[11:35 PM]DO NOT KILL YOUR BF![11:35 PM]HRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM[11:36 PM]wow you healed quik[11:37 PM]*quicke[11:37 PM]*quick[11:39 PM]I tend to read the summary of the up coming episodes and[11:40 PM]Shot interally from the inside of the impala[11:40 PM]Blah blah blah blah ghouls[11:42 PM]Sam hasn't completely fucked up a spell yet and Cas is an angel so[11:42 PM]you ain't either[11:43 PM]How about[11:43 PM]You give them the spell and they don't kill you[11:44 PM]I swear to god the fandom loves Baby more then they do

[thebonggirll]

Chapter 20 - Final Match

Chapter 19

Y/N took some time to rest and finally, got ready to watch the last and final match. Midoriya went back soon after their last conversation. She needed support from Kyoka to walk properly as her legs weren't still healed yet but she was able to stand on her own for some time. As she went to the stands, everyone immediately started congratulating her for coming third athough she didn't feel that great, knowing she didn't even give her best in the fight.

"Where are they?" Y/N asked sitting down in one of the front seats.

"Patience sweetheart. Your boyfriend is gonna be here soon." Kyoka said, smirking.

"Yeah but he's too fucking stupid and reckless." Y/N said, "Also, please stop calling him that and be a little less obvious." She looked around in search of Shinso, hoping to get a chance to thank him. But soon enough, Present Mic announced, "Welcome to the final battle in U.A. High School Sports Festival! In just a moment here today, we will know which first year student is on top!" and she decided to find him later.

The fight ended faster than expected. Although Midoriya cheered for Todoroki and told him to give his all, he stopped abruptly in the middle. In the end, when Bakugou used his special move, Todoroki used his left side for a moment, but something changed his mind and he didn't. When the dust cleared up, Bakugou looked up forward and saw Todoroki at the other end, lying unconscious.

"He looks really mad..." Kyoka commented.

"It's natural. It has been his dream to be the best for a long time..." Y/N said, her eyes fixed on the scene unfolding in front of her. Bakugou got up and walked to his opponent, his figure looked a bit weary. And he started shouting at Todorki, holding him by his collar. But after a while, he fell unconscious as Midnight used her quirk and announced Bakugou as the winner.

Bakugou has a dream and he believes in himself. He knows what he is capable of and he wants to be the on the top and the best. But not this way. One look at his expression was all it took to understand that he didn't want to be the winner like that where his opponent refused to use his full power on him. As the medical team came and took him to the nurse, Y/N got up and started limping there to see him, along with his whole squad ofcourse. It wasn't that she just cared about Bakugou. She was also worried about Todoroki who looked way broken from the very beginning. Maybe Y/N was a bit bitter about him winning against her but that didn't mean she was insensitive. Both the boys were hurt physically and mentally.

As soon as they arrived, Bakugou's rough voice entered their ears. He was sitting on the bed grumbling at first, but then he became aggressive as Todoroki refused to answer any of his questions.

"Hey, are you guys doing okay?" Kirishima asked.

But Bakugou wasn't listening. His emotions took over and he just wasn't ready to listen to anyone. Some people came in along with Midnight and put him on restraint. "I think it's best if you leave them alone for now." Recovery Girl said.

As they were going to leave, Midnight stopped Y/N and said, "Stay here. We will escort you together when the award ceremony begins."

"Okay." Y/N said and quietly sat down on a chair nearby. She turned to Todoroki and said hesitantly, "....I don't know how or what you feel but I just hope you get better. I know both you can do much better than that. I... that's all I can say." He looked down and just nodded his head. She turned towards Bakugou who was still going beserk. And although she wanted to just talk to him, she just couldn't gather the courage. It is his dream and no amount of assurance can bring back the time. So she just let him vent his anger.

The door opened and a staff said, "It's time."

As they were standing in their positions, All Might made an entry and started giving their medals. Everyone from the first year were standing before them, except Iida. Y/N didn't hear a single word from him or see him after their match. And for the kind of person he is, she knew he would've been the first to congratulate her, knowing that they fought each other. She decided to pay no attention to it and concentrated on All Might standing before her.

"I know you have more potential, Y/N. Don't be down for what happened in the match. Focus on training and getting better. You'll become a great hero in the future for sure." He said, hugging her in assurance after awarding her the bronze medal.

In the afternoon, they were back in the class. Aizawa said, "Nice work. You have the next two days of school off to recuperate. I am sure that the pros who watched the festival will wanna recruit some of you. We will cover the drafts forms and update you when you return."

"Yes sir!"

Everyone was tired and just wanted to go home that day. But ofcourse, Y/N was worried about the 'controversial image' that Kyoka was talking about. She had to, didn't she? Her brother and her parents had a reputation to keep which can be brought down just because of her. But no, her family wasn't anything like she thought. Obviously they were in the entertainment industry and scandals were always surrounding them, but they have the experience and knew how to shut them up. They have always handled these before. Y/N was just too busy with her own training to go up and search for such things. And her family was more than glad to avoid making their little daughter worry about it.

"Hey." she heard Shinso while walking down the stairs.

"Oh dang, sorry I didn't notice you...I was just tired." Y/N smiled, "And thank you for coming to see me after I lost the match."

"I wanted to see how you looked with your mouth shut for once." He said.

".....that's kinda rude."

"I am joking." He said.

"Then laugh or smile next time because I thought you were serious man." she stopped by the gate and said, "Oh I asked for you number before, remember?"

"Yes." He said taking her phone. She quickly saved his number and bid goodbye to him.

She was in no rush today, so she took her time to walk to the bus stop.

"You came to the nurse's office today." A voice growled behind her. She stopped and looked behind.

"I wanted to know if my friends were okay." Y/N said calmly. She would've dodged it if it was any other day. But just this one day, knowing what Bakugou was going through, she wanted to clear up atleast some things for him. And besides, she was too tired to come up with any excuses.

"That half-and-half fucking bastard is your friend?" Bakugou smirked, "Ofcourse he is, knowing how both of you have twisted minds."

"Don't belittle people's issues like that. It takes years to get over some things. " Y/N said as she started walking again, "And I said 'friends' if you didn't hear properly."

"I am not fucking wasting my time on some extra like you."

"I don't know what's the issue you have with me but I do consider you my friend, whether you like it or not. You don't have to call me yours, just because I do. I..uh..I get worried okay?" Y/N said blushing, "I am too tired. Bye." She didn't wait for him to cuss her out or see his expression and started running to get home as fast as her legs could take.

"What the fucking hell?" Bakugou stood with a little blush on his face and muttered, "I am just embarassed."

There was no one to listen, yet it felt like he was trying to convince someone.

Chapter 21

SEASON - II

Ignite

MASTERLIST

tags: @captncappuccino​

[iwillsinkwithmyships]

The Love I Meant to Say 1/3

Steve Rogers was found much earlier, so was Bucky Barnes, and since the two of them had nowhere to go, Howard Stark took them in. Now the night of Tony's graduation fights occur, misunderstandings happen, and everyone ends broken-hearted. Canon AU.

A/N: Hi! This is my very first Marvel Fic, this has been floating around my head in my head for a long time. It was actually supposed to be part of the WinterIronShield Big Bang 2019, but I am not complete sure what happened, so I decided to just publish it as it is. This all occurs in the 90's, Tony is 21 and graduating from MIT, the boys can't communicate well and shit hits the fan. Kudos and comments welcomed!

Titles taken from the TV Show SMASH, mostly second season songs, since that's all I listened to while writing this.

Chapter 1: Sorry, that's the word I want to sing to you...

To say that Tony Stark had a strange life was the understatement of the century. He was the only son of weapons manufacturer Howard Stark and socialite Maria Stark nee Carbonell. At the age of four he had built his first circuit board At the age of 15 he began attending MIT and now at the age of 21 he had just graduated at the top of his class with a two Masters and a Doctorate. The young Stark internally sighed as he pretended to listen to whichever one of the board member that his dad had invited to his graduated party. His job at this event was to grin and bear as his parents paraded him around like some trophy to show off. He was no better than the expensive painting his mother purchased to show to her friends, no better than some article written about the empire his father had built.

Tony sighed and shook his head, there he went being the drama queen his father always called him. He just had to endure this party and then he'd be free to go celebrate with his friends. They were his favorite part about MIT. Rhodey had been his assigned roommate and had quickly became his best friend, his brother. He was always patient with him and his constant engineering binges. He kept people who would take advantage of the dumb young Stark kid and introduced him to his other best friend: Carol Danvers. Carol was a sarcastic, stubborn asshole. Which meant she and Tony got along like two peas in a pod. Rhodey liked to complain that he was a babysitter for the two of them but when it came down to it Rhodey was just as bad as the two of them, and he always covered for them. He came back to himself and realized that Old Guy McBoring was still talking...jeez...

He excused himself and found his way to the garden, surely they couldn't miss him for a couple of minutes...

"Leaving your own party huh? I don't think your mom will be too happy about that tomorrow." Tony startled and turned only to get the breath knocked out of his lungs. There stood another inexplicable part of Tony's life.

When he was just three years old his father had returned from one of his usual long trips with a surprise for Tony. That surprised had turned out to be Captain America himself, who after being suspended in ice a for almost thirty years was still alive thanks to the Super Soldier Serum. Steve Rogers had introduced himself to Tony by coming down to little Tony's level with a kind smile and a warm hand extended for a handshake. Tony had loved Steve instantly and followed him around like a lost puppy. Tony still remembers being a six year old and sitting in his huge library reading with Steve. Steve who never raised his voice at him and always answered all of Tony's questions with patience and a kind voice. Steve had been one of Tony's favorite people together with Jarvis and Aunt Peggy.

Years after that, Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes had been found. No one had ever explained to Tony what had happened to Bucky, only that he needed to give him space. Tony had been 10 at the time, but he still remember the hunted look in Bucky's eyes, the way he seemed to lean on Steve for support and it had taken no hesitation on his part to go over and introduce himself. Steve had been alarmed and had looked at Tony with wide panicked eyes when he had burst into Steve's wing of the house. Tony remembers seeing Bucky tense and looking at him with wary eyes, but Tony also remembered how much it meant to him to have another friend besides Jarvis and Ana. So Tony vowed to become Sergeant Barnes's friend.

So a determined Tony had walked into the wing his father had given Steve and did what he always did while visiting Steve. He'd babbled. He had first introduced himself - because his mother and Jarvis had raised him to be polite - and then launched into a long description of what he'd done while Steve had been gone all the while throwing himself onto the couch across Steve and his friend were sitting. For some reason that had worked and soon Tony had found himself visiting the two heroes he had grown up listening stories about, first from Howard and later on from Steve, who had mainly focused on all the shenanigans he and his best friend had gotten up to, and soon Sergeant Barnes became Bucky.

And so Tony had grown up with Captain America and his Trusty Sidekick Bucky Barnes - Bucky doesn't exactly love being called the sidekick and so the Steve and Tony love to tease him about it - and at some point that hero worship had transformed into an embarrassing crush on the two super soldiers. Tony is smart enough to recognize that it was inevitable. After all, the two of them were the peak of human perfection and he knew from personal experience that they were also incredibly smart, kind and hilarious. It hadn't really surprised Tony when they'd told him that they were a couple, since the two of them just...made sense. It still didn't stop him from blushing every time he saw them nowadays.

It was mortifying.

"Hey!" good god his voice cracked! "I didn't see you guys come in!" Both men smiled at him fondly and all Tony could do was hope their heightened senses didn't let them hear his damn heartbeat.

"If you think we are subjecting ourselves to those vultures, you don't know us at all Tones." Bucky drawled as he joined Tony at the bench he was sitting at and threw an arm over his shoulders, "I love you, but I am not subjecting myself to that." Tony relaxed a little as he laughed and turned to Steve who sat on his other side.

"We wanted to congratulate you, but I also didn't want to take the focus from you. This party is to celebrate your accomplishments." Tony rolled his eyes.

"This party is so that Dad can brag to his friend about how smart his son is," Tony tried for a bored tone but the pinched look that the two older man got was clue enough that he'd failed, "But I'm used to it so don't worry about it. So what did you get me?!" He finished excitedly.

"And who says we got your spoiled ass anything you punk." Bucky slapped the back of his head as Tony laughed.

"Please! You guys love me! Plus, we both know that Captain Goody-Two Shoes would not show up to my party without a gift, so hand it over!"

"If you are going to make fun of me because I am polite then maybe I shouldn't give it to you," the Captain grumbled. Bucky and Tony both laughed at him as he pulled out a small box even as he spoke. Tony took it from him and opened it. Inside lay a necklace with an oddly shaped pendant. It had a beautiful gem at the base and an intricate design going down, it reminded Tony of something but he couldn't think of what.

"It's beautiful," he murmured, raising his eyes to meet two warm stares.

"We are glad you like it," said Bucky and then he got up and walked back into the house, not a minute later he was back with a large ornate box. "We were really hoping you did otherwise this would be awkward."

"What he's trying to say," huffed Steve, and pulled a necklace from under his dress shirt it look pretty similar to the one they'd given him, "is that it is part of a whole. You have always been a part of us Tony, a really important part. You were there when I was shoved into a new decade and learned everything alongside me, and you were there when I got Bucky back." He grabbed a hold of Bucky's hand and held it in that way Tony had always seen, like he was afraid he'd disappear at any time. Tony ignored the now familiar pang on his chest. "You helped me get him back from somewhere really dark and scary, and we will never be able to repay all that to you."

"Guys-"

"Sweetheart," Bucky said softly taking hold of one of his hands. "If the next words out of your mouth are something about how you didn't do anything then you are not nearly as bright as we all give you credit for." Steve laughed at the indignant look in Tony's face.

"Anyways, back to what I was saying, you are important to us and we can't picture a future without you, and we hope we don't have to. Bucky and I, we've lost so much to time that...it scares us to not have anything to remember the things we love the most. So, we thought we could do kind of a time capsule of sorts. Something that the three of us can come together to look at and reminiscence." Steve took of the necklace around his neck, and Tony noticed that Bucky was doing the same thing. Steve took Bucky's necklace, gently plied Tony's from his hand and put the three together.

"It's a key," Tony gasped. Steve smiled and used the key - secret key! - to open the box in Bucky's hands.

"We were hoping to make plans to meet later this week to get together and put in things that have brought the three of us together," said Bucky. "We already have ours, but we figured you'd need some time to decide." Tony nodded absently as he looked at the items already in the box. There were drawings Tony had worked on with Steve in his younger years, a small hat that Bucky had knit him years ago and that he'd thought lost, books they had read together. The first circuit board Tony had built, which until today Tony had thought his father had thrown away. And a cassette with songs that Ana liked to play while her and baked. Tony remembers being 15 and humming along to all the songs in this cassette as he followed Ana's instructions to making a pie. His parents had been away on a trip, having forgotten that Tony was coming home for the holidays, but Jarvis and Ana had not. They had stayed for him - despite Howard's protests - and invited Steve and Bucky, who had moved out of the Stark Mansion around the same time Tony left for MIT, and Aunt Peggy. Tony's vision blurred as he saw pictures, drawings, and other seemingly insignificant things that represented some of Tony's best memories.

"I don't - I don't know what to say this is..."

"Just say thank you honey," Steve said with a chuckle and ran his fingers through Tony's curls.

"Yeah, look, let;s get together this weekend and we can pick a place to bury this thing." Tony let out a chocked laugh, and closed the box again, while setting it next to him. He threw his arms around Bucky, who didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around him too, and felt the familiar warmth of Steve behind him as he joined them in a hug, and this was Tony's favorite place in the world, being held in their arms he felt safe, warm and loved.

"Tony?" Tony jumped away from the two super-soldiers in surprised - he decided to ignore the upset look on the two other men as he leaped back - and relaxed when he recognized the person that had interrupted them.

"Obie!" Tony ran and over to his Godfather. The other man laughed and threw his arms around the younger man. "I thought you were on a trip!"

"What?! You thought I'd miss your graduation party. Please, and look, I even got you a present." Obadiah handed Tony a wrapped package

"What is this?"

"This my dear boy... is the future, but you'll probably want to open that later, I see that you are otherwise engage at the moment, gentlemen." Obie finished with a smile and an extended hand towards Steve and Bucky. In their end Steve and Bucky returned Obadiah 's greeting politely. Steve and Bucky had never really warmed up to Obadiah, something that Tony had never understood. Obadiah had always interested in seeing Tony's new inventions and thoughts on the future for Stark Industries. He'd even visited him while he'd been at MIT and walk though all of his projects with Tony.

Yet, Steve and Bucky remained distantly polite.

"Mr. Stane, good to see you again," Steve said while giving Obadiah's hand a quick shake. Bucky simply nodded.

"The future?" Bucky drawled with nod towards Tony and the package in his hand.

"Yes," Obie said, smile firmly in place, "Tony mentioned that he was interested in advancing medicine, and I found some notes by some of Medicine's top researchers. Figured our Tony here would like to see where we currently stand in medical advances."

"Thanks Obie! I'll take a look at it tonight," and with that he put his present away. His hands itched to open it and start reading it, but he'd understood Obie's hidden warning.

For the past 6 months, Tony had asked Obie to look for whispered legend, a project called EXTREMIS, research into bio-mechanics that Tony wanted to help with. To try and understand it and use it to find the cure to many incurable diseases. He knew that if he could take a look at the data he could help unlock it. The researcher, Maya Hansen, had suddenly gone underground and Tony had been unable to reach her, but if anyone could find her it would be Obie. So he'd asked Obie for help, and in exchanged Obie had only asked for opinions and improvements into some designs. However, he knew that there were rumors running around that EXTREMIS was another go at the Super Soldier Serum that had given Steve, and later on Bucky, their abilities. Tony could not be less interested in that, he just wanted to help people.

"Well I'll go inside and greet tonight's guests. It's only a matter of minutes before Howard comes and takes me away anyway. Gentlemen," he nodded towards the other two men, and clapped a hand on Tony's shoulder, "Tony, again congratulations. I hope you enjoy my present and let me know if you have any questions." Tony hugged Obie in thanks one more time and watched him walk back inside, but when he turned he saw the two soldier glare at Obie's back.

"Ok, what is it with you two against Obie?" Tony asked exasperated.

"We just don't trust him doll," Bucky said, not even trying to defend himself and Steve, "And you shouldn't either."

"Why not?" Tony warily asked, "do you guys know something I don't?" Obie had never been anything but kind and understanding with Tony, but if Steve and Bucky knew something...

"No," Steve replied this time, "no, Tony, we just.... have this gut feeling, and we'd rather you didn't really associate yourself with him.

A gut feeling...Seriously?

"Wha- A Gut feeling?! Steve, you and Bucky are just being overly protective for no reason. Obie has always looked out for me and he has never given me a reason to mistrust him. I am not going to just not talk to my Godfather because you and Bucky-bear here have a gut feeling that he might not be a great guy." Tony snarked with an eye roll.

"Tony" Steve warned with a slightly hurt look, that immediately made Tony feel guilty.

"We are just looking out for you kid," And wow, Bucky should not have said that, because now Tony was right back to angry, "we don't want you to be taken advantage of by some shark."

"Why? Because I am just some dumb kid, that doesn't know how to look out for himself? I need you two as babysitters?" he spit back.

"That is not what we are saying Tony," Steve said sternly, and he seemed to want to drop the fight, but his partner looked ready to put Tony over his knee and spank him for being a brat...and wasn't that an image.

'Focus, you dumb slut,' a voice that sounded suspiciously like Carol's said in his head.

"Stop twisting our words, you know that's now what I meant. This is not about you, it's about Obadiah Stane being nothing but a snake oil salesman, who will not hesitate to drop you the minute you stop being useful to him!" came the growl, and Tony saw red, he couldn't even stop the word vomit that came from his mouth.

"Oh that's rich coming fro the two of you! You two split the moment I was accepted to MIT and not once did you try to contact me. Not a call, or letter, or much less a fucking visit! I only saw you whenever I came over back home to visit which was maybe once a year! You know who did visit? OBIE! Obie was there for me, he called me regularly to check on me, made sure I was comfortable, came in and listen to me babble about robots for hours! And I am suppose to not trust him?!" Tony swiped a hand through his face and ignored the slight wetness in his eyes, because he was not crying like a fucking baby.

"Tony," Steve croaked, and when Tony turned back he saw that the other two men looked pale and stricken, "Tony we just...Tony we had already taken so much of your childhood, we didn't want to impose on your college experience too. Jesus, Tony is not because we don't love you!" Steve walked towards him and dragged him back into the bench, where the two men he loved carefully wrapped him back into their arms.

"Tony," Bucky said and paused to press a kiss to his forehead, "I am so sorry, if we made you feel like we...didn't care, God, that's the furthest thing from the truth. We just wanted to give you the space and not feel...smothered. You were in college with people closer to you age and who are almost as smart as you and we didn't want to ruin that for you." Steve hummed in agreement and raised one of Tony's hands to his mouth to give it a kiss.

"I was lonely, all the other kids wanted nothing to do with some weird 15-year-old rich boy. Hell, half of them thought I had bought my way in." The arms around him tightened, "but then Rhodey came and he brought Carol with him, and Carol has this girlfriend Maria, and then I wasn't alone. But I still missed you guys. It kinda felt like you were done with the snotty little kid that wouldn't leave you alone."

"Honey, no. We missed you too."

"Those times that we saw you? During the holidays? Those were precious to us, we were so glad to have you back if even for a little while."

"SHIELD just about lost it every time we denied missions just to come over and see you." Tony's heart warmed and he closed his eyes letting their reassurances wash over him. This was where he wanted to spend the rest of his life, in their arms feeling loved....

"Why don't you open you present? You seemed really excited earlier, let's see what you got." The way Steve had said it, so casually, could've fooled anyone. It sounded bright, optimistic, and just the right amount of curious. But Tony had known Steve for years, he'd known him and Bucky better than he knew himself...

...which is why it hurt when he saw the lie in his eyes. He wasn't simply changing the subject, he was lying to see what was in the package.

'Liar!' came the thought full of pain and disbelief.

"I think I'm good actually." He bit out coldly while he ripped himself away from them.

"Sweetheart," Bucky tried.

"Are you serious? You think I can't tell when you are lying?! You really think I am that stupid?!"

"Of course not! Tony we meant everything we said and you are the smartest person we know! But the world isn't kind to kind-hearted people like you, and I am sorry that you can't see that we are just trying to protect you!" Steve was on his feet and Bucky followed at a slower pace.

"Tony," Bucky sternly took over, "you know we think the world of you, and we would gladly lay down our life for you. And you are right, you know us, you've known us for a long time. So you know that we mean it when we say we love you and we just want to protect you...just like we know when you are hiding something from us. So just tell us, tells us what it is that Stane has you working on, and if it's something dangerous, let us help you."

"Are you listening to yourselves? You sound insane right now! What Obie has me working on? I am not working on anything for him! Yes, I do give input on some designs but that's insignificant, and what does it matter if I do anyway, I am going to be designing for SI soon enough!" Tony was surprised no one had come out with how loud they were being, but it was for the best. Steve and Bucky had a wild look in their face and Tony couldn't stop the angry tears in his eyes. It was humiliating.

"Then what did Obadiah just give you?!" Bucky asked accusingly and pointed at the package.

"Tony we are not stupid either, stop lying to us!" Steve yelled, and yanked him closer by the arm...and that broke Tony. Steve and Bucky had never hurt or yelled at Tony. They always treated him gently, spoke in measured volumes, because they suspected his parents didn't extend him that courtesy. Tony loved them for it. And now...

"Stop it," Tony sobbed, "you are hurting me, please..."

Steve let him go as if he'd been burned, Bucky took a step back. The anger washed out of the captain and his sergeant quickly and left behind wide eyes and pale faces.

"Tony," Steve croaked brokenly, "I am so sorry!"

"Yeah, you've been saying that a lot tonight," Tony said as he brought his arm closer to himself.

"What is going on in here?!" Someone had finally heard them.

"Nothing Jarvis," Tony said hollowly, "This conversation is over." With that he ran towards the exit ignoring the calls for his name. He should meet Rhodey and Carol anyway.

[btswishes]

I will adopt you.

Monsta X (Shownu) hybrid au

Part1 / Part2 / Part3 / Part4 / Part5 / Part6 / Part7 / Part8 /…

A/N: I saw this dog that looked like a bear, kind of scary but also superrr cuddly looking and I thought of this macho mochi. Hope you like it there are more parts to come.Sorry for any mistakes made.

Word count:   2,627

Warnings: I mean ,just normal 21 century teen cussing.

                                   --------------------------------------------

  Winter is one of those seasons where you just don’t want to go anywhere. Just staying home with a nice warm cup of tea, coffee or coco and enjoy a good book or movie. But we all have those moments where we have to adult and today it was your turn. The day had almost finished when you opened the fridge and realized.

“Who ate all the damn food?” a slap echoed when your palm hit the skin on your forehead “That is rightttt, Mina was here yesterday.”your hands found your waistline and rested there “I need to stop inviting friends over all the time.”

 Taking a deep sigh, you walked over to your bedroom. You were groaning and stepping harshly as you were throwing clothes onto your bed. 

“Ughhhh, too cold!” 

 Swinging over the long and fluffy scarf, you made sure you were nice and warm before even confronting the cold weather. The moment the building’s main entrance opened up ,you were hit with a gust of cold wind. You could hear the howling sound it was making. Crackle after crackle you were getting farther from your home. 

 As the name says already, the convenient store wasn’t far, but in this weather it felt like a hike on mount Everest. The second the warm air hit your face you felt hope and so did your stomach. When people say don’t go shopping when you are hungry, they were right. Who knows what stuff you had in the bags on your way out, what was sure though was the fact that you grabbed anything and everything ,that looked good enough to eat with the packaging still on it.

 As you were about to exit the store, you pulled out a sandwich out of the bag and took a big bite from it.

“ Oh yeah.” you said muffled by the food “ That hits the spot nicely.” 

  The wind outside had gotten stronger, so powerful that it was picking up snow from the ground and basically throwing it in your face. Taking a few deep breaths, you placed the sandwich in the bag and stepped out.

“ Wow wow”  the wind was pushing you back a bit. Still being able to walk some what normally, you felt like you were taking two steps and then one back. Getting home was gonna happen sooner or later, but the night was beginning to fall and temperatures weren’t going to be so nice to you anymore.

 Like the champ you were, with all the power left in you, you were about to reach your house ,when the wind knocked some snow in your eyes.

“Fuck!” it was blowing very strongly and you had to kneel down to keep yourself from falling. The sound turned from a howl ,to the voice of a ghost that was hunting you.One minute had passed and then two, you weren’t moving at all and that was a no go. A plan was needed to get out of this situation as fast as possible.

“ Oh God, what is up with this day? A person can’t get themselves anything.” you were thinking about possibly crawling home, but your self-respect was not going to allow you that at all.That didn’t stop you from considering it though.

“ I bet people won’t even notice, plus my face is covered so no one will know.” the wind was turning slowly but surely into a blizzard  “ Hu?” you stopped mid way thinking. You could still hear what was happening around you, but the biting cold wasn’t hitting your face anymore.

 Slowly you rose your head up and noticed something gigantic in front of you. It had a deep brown color with a slight tint of amber. Hesitantly you reached out.

“ What?!” your hand almost disappeared into the object that was blocking the cold.Moving your head to the side you were met with two big, dark eyes and a puff of warm air. It took some time, but judging by the silhouette it was a dog, probably a bear looking at it’s size. The pup nudged you with its tail and you stood up. Yes, the wind was as strong, if not stronger than before, but you didn’t feel the same resistance. The body of the animal was blocking maybe 50% of the blizzard.

  It took you less than 5min to get back to your building. You patted the dog on the head and smiled.

“ Thank you sooo much little guy...oh- I mean you don’t look little at all. A!” reaching in your bag you pulled out the half eaten sandwich and gave it to it ”Sorry I can’t offer you more. “ 

  You were looking at it and noticed how wet its fur had gotten. The poor thing was probably hiding somewhere sheltered from the storm and all. You were about to unlock the door, when you turned around and saw the pup still looking at you. You closed your eyes for a sec and went back to it, putting your scarf around its neck “ Should keep you warm.” you patted its head and the dog seemed to like it “ Go find some good place to dry off.” with one last smile you went inside, in the elevator and got home safely. 

 Throwing all the bags on the kitchen table ,you dropped on the couch and took a deep breath. The fire place your parents insisted on you getting had finally proven to you its worth. The air was warm and enjoyable. Closing your eyes, you relaxed,but your mind drifted to your savior.

“ Poor thing...” you whispered to yourself

  The room was quiet and your head was thinking of all kinds of possible bad outcomes for the pup. You were worried it might freeze to death somewhere, or not be able to find a safe spot.

“ Ughhhhh.” you jumped up and grabbed the nearest coat you could find “ Fuck me, why am I doing this.” cussing with every move you made, you opened the door and ran out. Wearing almost nothing to protect you from the cold, you looked out the glass doors of the building. “ I can’t believe I am doing this right now.” you threw yourself in the blizzard willingly.

 The cold was stabbing at your cheeks, eyes watering and nose about to resign its duties as a functioning body part.Your hair was all over the place. Your arm was covering the top of your head as you were fighting your way through the winter. 

 You were wandering for what seemed an hour, but you couldn’t see the dog anywhere. You were sweaty even if it sounded impossible and very tired. Sadly giving up was the only option at this point. Dragging in the snow, your feed were trembling. It was unbelievable how you survived this long so lightly dressed. 

  The moment you were about to unlock the door, your vision went blank and you lost grip on the keys. The jingling sound let you follow them to the snow at the bottom of the stairs. But the state of your legs dropped you to the stone ground. You were puffing and wiping your face. Leaning your head onto the cold wall ,you tried to gather your strength and get up. As you were starting to see clearly again ,you felt something brush against you. 

 Lifting your arm you grabbed the material that fell on your chest and relisted it was your scarf.

“ Wait what?” the sound of metal hitting metal pulled your attention to the same mysterious hero that saved you the first time. “ This feels a bit like fate and it’s low key strange.”

 Leaning onto the dog you were able to get up and open the door. The sudden shifting sound made you notice that the pup was leaving. You quickly grabbed it by the tail. “ No you don’t. I almost died trying to find your furry ass. You are coming with me.”  the dog seemed confused or maybe you were still in a daze. 

 The thing you were sure about tho was that it was a male. He followed you into the elevator and kept close, letting you lean onto him when you were losing your footing. The moment you opened your apartment door, he hesitated to walk in.

“ Come on, don’t be shy.” with a few pulls from your side he finally stepped in. Maybe it was because of the change in the scenery, but the pup didn't even make a move. It was standing there like a new plush toy that you just bought and breathing heavily taking in the atmosphere around it.

"Are you getting comfortable in there?" You peeked your head out of the kitchen, but he was still standing in the middle of the room. You sighed and waddled over.

"I let you in so you are allowed to make yourself comfortable." placing a bowl of water next to the fireplace, you sat back down " It's one thing to be shy but you don't have to be at all. Come here."you patted a place next to you and he finally walked over ,curled up into a fluffy donut and calmed down.

"Oh lord!" your nose just scrunched up "Wet dog, not a good perfume idea." One option was to towel dry him, another to let him naturally dry next to the fire place, but since you didn't know how long he was out there, you were firm about what you were planning to do.

"Ok." You said a bit deep while getting up "It's settled then. You are taking a shower." Clapping your hands you pulled the pup to your bathroom "For once I am sooo glad this apartment is big. Who knows what it would have been if I couldn't fit you in here."

  You turned on the shower just to adjust the water so it wasn’t too cold or too warm. The bathroom was isolated from the rest of the house and you couldn’t hear the outside anymore. Wetting the pup’s fur, you were about to pull the shampoo from the rack next to the shower door, when your shirt got stuck on it.

“I need to change into something else. If I get this shirt wet it will shrink and I am not planning to go on a diet.” you ran out of the bathroom as fast as you came back in. Your body had on it a short shirt tied up at the chest and a pair of pink panties. “Ok, all ready.Come here pooch.” but the dog had it’s back towards you “What is wrong?” he let out a small whimper when you pulled him close to you suddenly by his back legs.

“Hold still now.” grabbing the bottle of lavender shampoo, you placed a small dollop of it on your palm “Hmmm, you are a big boy, probably the equivalent of 1 bear or 20 wigs.I will add a bit more.” squeezing the bottle a bit longer this time let almost half of it spill out “Oh well.” 

 Rubbing your hands together you started lathering the dog from head to toe, focusing on his paws and tummy.He was jumping away when you were cleaning his stomach area “I get it I get it.You are shy, I will stop.” 

 Grabbing the shower head ,you looked at him “Don’t worry we are almost done here.” turning it on firstly splashed your chest. Pulling onto the shirt you noticed it become translucent “Aw man, well I should have expected this.” you started rising off the shampoo as best as you could. “There, all done.It wasn’t too bad now was it?”

 You walked out the bathroom, changed into dry clothes fast and ran back to the dog. You threw a gigantic towel on his head and he panicked. Looking at the circles the dog was making made you burst in laughter and help him out. “Sorry sorry.”

 Making sure the pup was next to the fire place, you kept rubbing the towel all over him until he was as dry as the desert.

“Ah!”you plopped onto his body, making him jump a bit “You smell sooo good.” rolling over onto your back, you were looking at the ceiling and just enjoying the sounds of the crackling flame and the howling winds.It felt so peaceful and almost like a fantasy story.

“You know.” your voice spoke out calmly “This is feels like one of the stories I used to read about when I was little.”you crooked your head towards the pup, giving him a serious look “You are not a man that was cursed into a dog form are you?” you felt as if he stopped breathing for a second before giggling to yourself and laying back onto him “I am joking. So this is what it feels to talk to your pets. I mean you are not my pet, probably have an owner.”

  You let your hand travel to his neck, but no leash was there to identify him as someone’s dog.As he seemed to like it, you continued to run your fingertips through his dark and soft fur. 

“You can stay with me.I mean....if you want.”you sighed “Get’s kind of lonely being by myself all the time. I was ok with it at first but now, I am not so sure about it.”

 There was a moment of silence were only the ambiance in the room was ruling, until you felt the soft fur envelop you.He came closer and licked your cheek a few times. Pursing yourself up onto your elbows, you looked him with a spark in your eyes.

“I will take that as a yes.But...” you paused “I need to give you a name.” sitting up cross legged, you began looking at him from head to toe “I won’t give you a very manly name since you are scary enough as is. What about.....mmmm. Nunu!” the dog’s tail perked up “Yeah, you look like a Nunu to me.” you cupped his cheeks and started messing up his coat “Nunu, you are such a cute Nunu.” 

  The dog was getting annoyed but before it was about to growl, his eyes met yours. You had stopped moving and were giving him the brightest smile one could receive. It was warm and kind, your eyes were relaxed and filled with love, such pure energy. “My Nunu.” you scratched behind his ear ,as he closed his eyes and leaned into it without a hesitation.

  The petting session continued till 11 when you were already fast asleep. The fire burned out and it started getting colder and colder. Nunu woke up when he felt you nuzzling yourself into his fur. His head came close to yours and sniffed you, before giving you a quick lick. 

  Moon light was creeping in from the big windows, but suddenly got covered by a big shadow. It wasn’t looming over you, it had more of a safe and protective feeling to it. Your body almost instantly moved up as if on it’s own and met the comforting covers of the bed. A soft blanket moved up your body. The figure turned away from you and was about to leave, when something escaped your lips.

“Mmmm....Nu...Nunu.” you rolled around for a bit, trying to get comfortable 

“Worried more about a dog than yourself.” the shadow started loosing it’s tall shape and walked over to your bed. Your hand instinctively escaped the cover and laid calmly, once it reached the furry head of the pup, leaning onto your bed. The whole night he staid there, looking out for you. 

 Where did this dog come from and why did it not leave?

[clownsgobeepbeep]

Scent of Valerians

Finally, I now present to you the first part of my storyline that takes place in the future~

In this first part, not very much happens but it is still important uwu Things start out a little calm 

@post-itpenny @grotesquegabby Although it’s minimal, some of your characters are in this

Part Two

Finally, October had come to be. 

There was no doubt that the weather was at its best now that nearly everything was covered in hues of orange, even the abode belonging to the one who dressed in crimson.

With a stretch and a soft yawn, she awoke in the luxurious bed before her fingers and long nails gently trailed across the velvet blankets over her lap. Once her green eyes had ceased their fluttering, they glanced to the window as only orange was in sight.

“Oh, is it time?” she yawned once again before lowering her hand and removing her blankets off of herself to get off her bed, slipping on her robe to look through the glass. The woman gave a smile as she heard knocking on her bedroom door, responding with a snap before it opened and in came a maid.

“Miss Velvet, I have your tea ready.”

“Wonderful, set it down on my vanity.” the woman motioned behind her before hearing a tray be set down on her vanity, her door opening again before being shut close.

Velvet took one glance to the outside where, in the distance beyond her front yard, was a pair of kids walking around with pumpkins in their arms. Oh yes, it really was that time of the year which was just wonderful, meaning it was time that everything red in her house be turned to orange.

She turned around and walked towards her vanity, sitting in front of it as she took her teacup and sipped from it. Once she set the cup down, she looked into her mirror to apply some lipstick, red of course, even with the new season. Her focus was on her lips despite being able to apply the makeup with such ease and precision, yet she almost made a mistake when she noticed something in her mirror.

A glowing pink.

Velvet whipped around to look at her window where she caught a glimpse of the sight, furrowing her eyebrows whilst blinking in surprise. The hue was gone, she knew it had very well been there and nothing would convince her otherwise. She stood up from her stool and walked over to the window again, taking a good look at the entire area as she bit her lip. She was then slightly startled at the sound of knocking on her door again.

“Come in.” she shut her eyes with a sigh, turning to see another maid walk in with a bouquet of roses.

“Miss Velvet, this was on your doorstep.”

“Who is it from?” Velvet approached the maid who gave a soft shrug.

“I’m sorry, there is no name and it just appeared with the sound of your doorbell.”

“Well, place it down then.” Velvet turned to the window once again before the maid eventually left, closing the door again.

The woman gave one last glance at the window before returning her gaze to the bouquet, nearing it and placing a finger on a single petal which brought a sensation through and to her head.

“W-What are you doing!?”

“No, no…that can’t be. Get away from me!”

A scream.

“Hm, not even by doing this am I impressed. You’re still such a disgrace, why did I let you live?”

A scream.

“This isn’t you!”

A scream.

“There’s nothing you can do about it, I’ve finally won this game.”

A slash as if flesh had been sliced.

“You stole my fucking life away!”

“We want to stay.”

A choking sound.

“Please not this way! Not like this!”

Velvet stepped back in shock with a gasp, hundreds of images having flashed before her eyes...so many of her loved ones in them. There was one, however, who appeared in nearly every single one, a panic coursing through her as she turned and rushed to her nightstand with a hand reaching out.

“My phone...where is it…” she breathed out, looking inside her drawers, the ground, everywhere that her cellphone could have fallen to. However…

“You looking for this?” a voice asked behind her, so Velvet turned with bewilderment written all over her face, especially as she noticed her phone in a hand.

“What are you doing here? How did-”

“Enough of the chit chat. It doesn’t matter.”

“Give me my phone back, I need that-”

“Who you gonna call? Your brother?” the person asked before turning on the phone, eyes skimming through the screen. “He’s too busy right now, just as everybody is. Don’t you remember about the party happening in a few days?”

“Give me my phone!” Velvet yelled before giving a face of surprise upon the sigh of glowing, pink eyes come from the person. “You...you’re the one-”

Before she was able to finish her sentence, Velvet felt herself be pulled towards the person who took hold of her throat, then swinging her to throw her to the side where Velvet expected to hit a wall. However, she opened her eyes to see that she instead continued falling back as a darkness surrounded her.

“What is this!?”

“Where you’ll be staying so you don’t ruin my agenda.” she was told as the person closed their hand into a fist, Velvet noticing that this darkness was in fact another place, and another place that was starting to shut.

“No, stop! You can’t! S-”

The hole was now closed and the other person gave a smirk, then glancing at the phone which began ringing. So, they let the phone continue ringing until it eventually stopped, throwing it down to stomp it.

____________

“That’s so weird, she didn’t answer.”

“Maybe she’s busy shopping. You know how she can be when it comes to her shopping.”

Through town rode a limousine, inside sitting was a pair of woman who sipped on some soda provided inside. Typically it would have been quite comfortable sitting inside a limo with so much space inside, but this was no doubt an exception due to it being nearly filled.

“Speaking of, I think we just turned into Velvet a while ago.” laughed the blonde of the two as she motioned to all the bags and boxes inside. “But then again, anything for my little oyster.”

“You really are going all out this time, huh?”

“Oh no doubt about it. I mean, I even bought all the pumpkins in that farm we visited the other day.

“Jelly, what!?”

“Yeah, I bought the entire farm of pumpkins which are being delivered to my house today. So, Ula’s going to sleepover at Cosmos and Vespers’ so she won’t see the shit ton of pumpkins before the party.”

“Oh my god.”

“No god here Maggie.” Jelly finished her soda before opening another as she motioned to the things inside the limo. “Only Ula.”

“Anyways, where are we even going to next? I don’t think we’ll be able to fit anything else in here.” Maggie glanced at the bag next to her, reaching inside as she held a black jug. “What is this fake blood even for?”

“The party, duh.” Jelly put the jug back inside. “Anyways, we’re gonna give my baby brother a visit to check up on how he’s been progressing.”

“Ah, the cake and desserts.”Maggie licked her lips.

“We’re going to check on those things, not steal Pepper’s cupcakes.”

“Aw.”

_____________

“No, no! Wait, not like that!”

“Pepper please, that’s how it looks in the ske-”

“Noooo!” exclaimed the redhead before his brother in law stepped away with an icing bag in his hands. “No!”

“Pepper, what-”

“This is not icing! It’s frosting!” Pepper tapped the screen of his tablet where there was a sketch of a cake, a small note clearly reading ‘frosting’.

“Pepper it’s the same thing!” exclaimed Vespers before Pepper tugged at his own hair.

“Vespers! Icing and frosting are not the same thing!” Pepper motioned to the icing bag Vespers held. “Icing is thinner and glossier! Frosting is thick and fluffy! Besides, you’re using the wrong color!”

“Okay, okay! Geez.” Vespers set down the bag before walking around the large table that was in the back of the bakery belonging to Pepper. Pepper could work on the freaking cake, maybe like that he’d stop yelling at Vespers every five seconds.

“I’m gonna work on the cookies then.” Vespers muttered out before approaching said desserts which had been baked a while ago, now chilled and ready to be decorated.

Now that it was October, things were obviously pretty tight due to the nearing deadline everybody would have in just a few days. Everybody had pitched in to help out with what was now Ula’s next birthday party, and boy was her mother really going big with this one; it was practically a  Sweet 16, but for the age of 21.

Vespers agreed to help Pepper and Belinda out with the desserts and cooking, Ferry too as well as a few others who were doing their own things elsewhere. The moth was excited about helping Pepper but...he was realizing that it was a hassle, but honestly, he couldn’t blame Pepper. Things had to be perfect.

“Dad, can I have a cookie?” came another voice which made Vespers look to his side where he saw his little girl.

“Oh sure, I don’t think your uncle would mind.” Vespers glanced at Pepper who was too focused on frosting one of the cake’s stories in orange.

“Thank you.” Phoebe took the cookie before taking a bite. “Oh yeah, you guys have company.”

“Company!?” both Vespers and Pepper exclaimed before turning to look at each other in a panic.

“Hide the cake!”

“Hide everything!” Pepper rushed to grab a sliding screen which he started to pull to hide everything they had been working on, until Phoebe spoke up with a giggle.

“Why are you guys worried? It’s just Aunt Jelly and Maggie.” she grinned before her father and uncle stopped what they were doing, feeling like total idiots before said pair walked into the back.

“What are you doing?” Jelly blinked at the two men who nervously laughed to themselves.

“We were...hiding...stuff…”

“We thought Ula and her friends had come over.” Vespers explained before another door opened, this one being the one that lead to the alley behind the shop which made Vespers and Pepper freak out yet again.

“Hi Aunt Jelly!~” came the cheerful voice belonging to Bubbles who pranced inside.

“Ah, Bubbles!” Pepper smiled at the sight of her. “I’m so glad you’re here! Your uncle Vesp and I kinda need help, and-”

“Oh, no.” Bubbles shook her head. “I’m not helping out with that, you guys already have more than enough help. I don’t even know why you guys are putting so much work into a silly party.”

“Bubbles!”

“Don’t be such a dick.” Phoebe commented before Vespers gasped rather loudly.

“Phoebe!”

“Fine, don’t be such a bitch.”

“Phoebe!” Vespers gasped again before he grabbed Phoebe’s hand to drag her to the front of the shop whilst the others were left alone.

“Anyways, I just came to tell you that I’m going to the pier with my girlfriend.” Bubbles announced before Pepper gave a deep frown. “So don’t look for me, bye!” 

“What was that about?” Maggie blinked at the now closed backdoor before she and Jelly’s eyes darted towards Pepper who gave a shrug, preferring not to explain anything. Especially not after the time things got rather tense with Bubbles.

“Anyways Jonesy, what are you doing around these parts of town?” Pepper grinned as he lay on a table which was surprisingly empty, even propping up his elbow to lay his head in his hand.

“I wanted to see what you have done.” Jelly replied as she attempted to look behind him, but Pepper dragged himself so that her view was even more blocked.

“Mmm, well, how about you instead come back the day before? That way-”

“Now.”

“Okay.”

Pepper climbed off the table before moving away the screen he had attempted to use, revealing the work done by him and Vespers, a few others as well.

“Pepper...what the fuck.” Jelly blinked at the sight of all kinds of Halloween themed desserts, Pepper feeling his smile fade as Maggie looked at each of the siblings in confusion and worry.

“Jelly?” Pepper grasped his own hands, starting to rock himself on his heels. “Do you...um, me and Vesp worked really hard on these things and-”

“It’s amazing!” Jelly exclaimed before approaching the desserts and admiring each one with a twinkle in her eyes, Pepper sighing in relief before furrowing his eyebrows as he noticed a thief.

“Hey, hey! You put that cupcake down!” he frowned at Maggie who stopped to stare at him, then bringing the cupcake closer to her mouth. “Jelly!”

“Children, please calm down.” Jelly waved a hand at the red heads while she still admired all the treats prepared. However, she then turned her attention to her purse as the Halloween theme came from it, and she reached in to take out her phone, then answering it as she ignored Pepper and Maggie behind her.

“Hello?”

“Mrs. D’Vitt. Hi, I hope you’re not busy.”

“Oh hi Schrader, what’s up?”

“All the pumpkins arrived to your house and are currently in the backyard. The kids and I started carving a few but there’s still some work left to do.”

“Don’t worry one bit Schrader, you’ve already do-”

“Mom!” came another voice on the line. “Mom! You should have seen Schrader! He cuts pumpkins so awesome! He made a scary face on a giant pumpkin!”

“That’s very nice Cordelia, but can you put Schr-”

“And then he said my gift for Ula was awesome! And-”

“Cordelia give the phone back to Schrader.” said another voice, no doubt Davey’s, right before Cordelia’s voice faded away. Jelly could still hear her though, possibly arguing with Davey.

“Mrs. D’Vitt, it’s me again.” came Schrader’s thick accent which  made Jelly chuckle. “I wanted to call you to also tell you that something came up at the garage, so I’ll be going there for a bit and I’m bringing along the kids so they’re not alone at home. Is that alright with you?”

“Of course it is, I trust you Schrader. Just make sure to not let the axolotls in the backyard. We can’t have them chewing on any pumpkins.”

“Yes Mrs. D’Vitt.”

After a few more words being exchanged, Jelly put her phone away and turned back to Maggie and Pepper, the latter still upset as Maggie had already taken a few bites out of a cupcake that she was still eating as she was on the phone herself.

“Maggie?”

“Hm?” Maggie turned to Jelly with some frosting on her cheek.

“Silly bird...something wrong?”

“Oh no, just got a call from Ama is all.” Maggie then took another bite of her cupcake as she listened to the phone and answered some more. “Yes I’m talking with your aunt Jelly. Where’s Ula right now?”

“Where are they at?”

“Your park.”

“Ah, I see.”

“You’re gonna pay for that.” Pepper whispered into Maggie’s ear as she had just finished the cupcake, then pushing Pepper away as he let out a sound of distress.

____________

“Was that Pepper just know?” Ama asked into the phone as her eyes looked to the front, waving before Ula sat with her on a table.

“Is that your mom?” Ula asked before taking a bite out of one of the cupcakes she had gotten for her and Ama.

“Yeah, your mom’s there too.”

“Where are they at?”

“Your uncle’s bakery.”

“Ah, I see.” Ula nodded before turning to look to the side, enjoying her cupcake with a smile as her eyes twinkled at the sight that was her mother’s park. Everything as beautiful, but everything was even better now that October had come; things were themed to a dark Alice in Wonderland which was absolutely delightful.

Her eyes then darted to the other side as Ama continued talking to Maggie, landing on one of the popular roller coasters. A train was just going up the first hill, Ula then growing a bit startled once it plunged down the steep down as screams were heard even from that distance.

______________

Screams were heard.

Screams had made Velvet look up in complete surprise, especially as a new light poured into the void she sat in. Her eyes blinked at how bright it was, perhaps after having spent a while there. But if she was being honest with herself...it didn’t feel like it had been a very long time.

“W-what are you doing!?”

No. Oh no...things were starting.

Velvet stood up as a choke sounded out, the light up above being slightly blocked as something went through it. She could tell it was coming down and so she extended her arms out, a body falling right into them.

“S...you were also-” Velvet started, then looking back up at the light which slowly disappeared once the opening had closed yet again.

“We need to find a way out of here...you must know the way, yes?”

The person in Velvet’s arm gave a worried look, shutting their eyes before silently shaking their head.

[jinkisbelly]

Champion No More 3/?

First Chapter, Second Chapter, Ao3 link

Rating: pg -13 (Talk of Death)

Pairing: Jongyu

w/c:1.8k

Summary: In a neighboring Kingdom where criminals and captives are forced to fight to the death, a Prince finds his past can no longer stay in his distant memories.

21 years prior, age 10

“Your Highness, you are getting a new personal servant.” Jonghyun looked up at his nursemaid he’s known most of his life curiously.

“A personal servant?” He softly questioned.

“Yes, your highness.” She smiled warmly, her grey hair falling in her face as she gestured toward the door. “He’s only to serve you, My Prince.”

Jonghyun looked toward the door when he heard the quiet footsteps against the floor. Coming in was a young boy with messy red tinted, dark hair. His eyes were cast toward the floor as he shuffled in front of his prince and bowed. “My name is Jinki Lee, and I am pleased to be in your service, Your Highness.” His voice was soft and muffled, as if shy and timid.

“It’s grand to meet you, Jinki Lee.” The Prince smiled before looking back up at the older woman behind him. “Can you leave us alone, Miss Cho?”

“Of course, dear.” She curtsied before heading out, “If you need anything, Your Highness, just ring.”

He nodded in her direction, but his eyes never left the boy in front of him. He was taller than he was, but it was obvious how nervous he was with how his eyes hadn’t lifted very high for more than a few seconds when he thought the prince wasn’t looking at him. “Do you know how to play checkers Jinki?”

“I do, sir.”

Jonghyun giggled, startling the servant boy. “My father is sir. You can call me Jonghyun, Jinki. I have a feeling we’re gonna get to know each other a whole lot. Come~”

Jinki was gently smiling as he rose his head and followed his prince over to the table in the middle of the room, climbing up onto the plush seat and setting up the game. It was the first time he didn’t feel as nervous as he had nonstop since he was told he had gotten the prince as an assignment.

-----

Present

“Do you remember when we met?” Jonghyun quietly asked, back against the stone wall, where on the other side Jinki was pressed against it too. With the break between fights being longer to prepare for the final of the season, there were fewer guards walking the halls of the individual cells.

“Of course,” Jinki responded, there was a light laugh in his voice. “I was scared shitless the Prince was going to order my head to be cut off because I didn’t pour his porridge just right.”

“Is that why I always won in checkers?”

After a moment Jinki softly answered, “Maybe.”

Jonghyun looked at his hands, remembering growing up with Jinki as if it was yesterday. So many vivid memories of the skinny boy with red tinted hair who turned into the love of his life. “When they told me I was getting a new servant I picture some old man telling me I was wearing my ceremonial coat wrong. Not a boy 4 months older than myself.”

“Even after everything that happened, I’m glad they put me on Prince duty and not barn duty.”

“You just don’t like horse poop.” Jonghyun mumbled.

“No. I couldn’t imagine a life where I never loved you.”

Jonghyun let out a deep breath, Jinki’s words hitting him straight in his chest, “Don’t say things like that.”

He heard the noise, felt the jarring through the wall, and he figured Jinki had hit his head back against the wall. “There will come a time I won’t be able to say anything to you Jonghyun.”

“Jinki-”

“I know you wish not to do what I ask of you,” Jinki’s deep sigh could be heard, “But it’ll just be like the last thirteen years. You’ll have closure this time. You can move on.”

“I don’t wish to move on from you. I never had.” Jonghyun bites his lower lip so hard he can taste the metallic blood against his tongue. “Ever since that day at the tournament, when your big headed self-got yourself into trouble and we kissed, I never wanted to spend a moment without you. Don’t you remember how that felt?”

“Of course I do Jonghyun. I couldn’t forget.” Jinki laughs quietly to himself. “Believe me. I’ve tried.”

-----

17 years prior, age 14

If Jinki had to hear the insufferable girl giggle one more time he was going to jump into the wild boar pit with a scream. The visiting Princess had spent almost every waking minute hanging onto Jonghyun’s arm and off every word he said. Jinki was tired. Tired of her voice. Tired of the way she smelled. Tired of the way her dress ruffled around as she moved. And tired of how close she was to Jonghyun. They were supposed to be watching the tournament in front of them, not gazing at each other like they had a painting plastered to their face. Before he could stop himself his feet were moving until he was between their chairs, and with a slight tilt, the wine on his tray fell all on the Princess’ dress, staining the light colored fabric a deep red.

To make matters worse, Jonghyun rushes to help pat the wine from the dress, apologizing profusely about his servant’s behavior and how he’s normally not like this, but most of the words were easily ignored with the anger rolling through Jinki’s mind as he glared at the two of them.  The Princess rushes off, embarrassed and almost crying, and Jonghyun’s gaze lands on him. He lifts his hand, curling his finger towards him to signal he wishes Jinki to come near. When he does, Jonghyun tightly asks, “Can I speak with you in my tent, Jinki?”

“Of course, Your Highness.”

As soon as the flap of the tent is closed Jonghyun hisses, “What in all hells was that?”

“It slipped.”

“It slipped my royal ass.”

“I made a mistake. I’m SO sorry I ruined one of her million handcrafted dresses.”

Jonghyun is fuming, “She’s a visiting princess, a guest in our Kingdom. You should have apologized Jinki.”

Jinki mumbled, “She’s lucky it didn’t end up in her humongous hair.”

“What was that Jinki?”

“Nothing, My Prince.” Jinki quickly replies, flashing a smile as he raises his gaze to look at him.

Jonghyun sighs, falling back into a chair and he runs a hand over his face.. His elbows are on his knees, his posture completely improper for a prince as he asks. “Jinki, be honest with me. Did you do that on purpose?”

“There’s a high chance that it might have been done on purpose.”

“Uh huh, and why did you spill it on purpose,” Jonghyun rested his chin on his palm, “Hypothetically of course.”

“I didn’t like her.”

“You didn’t like her.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“She seemed to have negative alternative motives.”

“Oh? And you can tell this by standing three feet behind me and over the sound of the crowd?” Jonghyun’s fingers are softly tapping on his chin as he speaks.

“Yes, precisely.”

“And yet, you can’t hear me call your name across an empty ass room.” It wasn’t a question, Jinki knew.

“Hey, those dome ceilings mess with the sound.”

“Jinki,” Jonghyun chided, “You just embarrassed a Princess from a very important Kingdom. I’m going to have to explain this. You’ve never been like this before. What’s gotten into you?”

"I don’t know what you mean. I’ve always looked out for your wellbeing.” Jonghyun just stares at him, not blinking and doesn’t say a word. “What?”

“You’re so full of shit your hair is turning more brown than red.” Jonghyun then leans back into his chair, tapping his fingers on the arms of the chair, and studies him, sadly. “My father, her father, are going to call me to fire you, do you understand?”

Jinki pales, “What?”

“I would do it if it saves the relationship between our Kingdoms.”

“Jonghyun please-”

“Why did you do it?” When Jinki doesn’t answer he asks again. “Give me something to work with Dammit.”

“I love you!” Jinki blurts out, quickly covering his mouth with both his hands.

“Excuse me?”

But then he softens, and his voice is quiet as he looks at his boots. “I love you. I didn’t like how she was flirting with you… so I poured it.”

“Jinki I-”

His head was hung low, eyes closed as he says, “I understand the consequences. I’ll make my leave now your grace.”

He places his tray on the table before turning and heading out of the tent. His fingers are grazing the tent flap when something warm curls around his wrist and pulls him back. Before he can ask what was happening, Jonghyun’s kissing him. It’s sloppy and rough, mostly teeth, but Jinki is frozen as Jonghyun withdraws. Jonghyun is scowling, serious, as he states. “I never dismissed you yet, Jinki. You can’t leave yet.”

Jinki licks his lips, fumbling horribly to find any word to say. He opens his mouth and a jumble of words come out in no particular order. “Jonghyun what kiss that huh?” Then Jonghyun kisses him again, but this time it’s slow, more in control, and softer. No teeth. It seems to reboot Jinki’s mind. “Is this a new way of letting someone go because I don’t know if I could kiss the King.”

“Jinnnnkkkki.” Jonghyun whines. Being the common occurrence as it was to hear that, Jinki grinned.

“Does this mean I’m not fired?”

----

Present

“How did you become a captain, Jinki?”

Jinki picks at the hole in his pants, just above the knee, as he contemplates his answer. “The Captain of the ship at the time, I was 19, he wanted us to kill this entire village of innocent people. Full of women and children, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t watch the men I had grown to have a comradery with do such a thing. Such a thing plagues your dreams. I told the Captain no. He took it as Mutiny and charged. I killed him protecting myself.”  Jinki ran his tongue over his dry lips, looking through his fringe. “The role of Captain usually falls to the First Mate then, but he was old, wanted to retire to land to die. The crew voted me to be their Captain.”

“You’ve always been meant for leadership,” Jonghyun recalls fondly, a smile on his lips. “How they ever thought you’d be a good servant is beyond me.”

“Hey!” Jinki scoffed, insulted. “I was a damn good servant.”

“You always ate half my breakfast before it got to me.”

“Only the muffins.” Jinki corrected, but his voice was soft, happy, as he remembered. “You never would eat them, always waiting until the very end and being too full to eat them, so I’d take them.”

“I never ate them because I knew you wanted them.”

That gave Jinki pause, “I started eating them when we were twelve.”

“I know.”

“But.”

“Did I just make the great Captain Speechless?” Jonghyun laughed quietly when he heard Jinki’s mumbled shut up. His expression fell as he quietly asked, “Did you ever find someone else? Is.. there someone waiting for you out there?”

“For some time I was sexually involved with my First Mate,” Jinki was staring straight at him, at least from what he could tell with half of his expression seen. “However, it was purely physical and did nothing to help me forget you.”

“Thank you for being honest with me.” Jonghyun softly states, gaze falling to his lap.

“I wish I never had to run away like that.” Jinki sighed. “I wish I could have stayed with you, even just for a little bit longer.”

“That morning when I woke up, I knew something was wrong. I knew deep down you wouldn’t be coming back.”

----

13 years ago, age 17

Jonghyun could sense it was morning by the light falling upon his face from the window across the room. His bed felt colder, but he reached out instinctively to pull Jinki closer. His hand only grabbed freezing bedsheets. Curious, he twisted, softly running his palm over the space. It was too cold to be recently vacated and a feeling of dread descended over him. He had overheard some of the guards during sparring talking about the new bounty over the Prince’s lover’s head. He wondered if his father had figured out it was Jinki and had taken him away.

Surely he’d have woken up if that happened, right? Jinki would have made some type of scene, wouldn’t he? When breakfast, and Jinki, never came, Jonghyun got dressed and went to check his servants quarters. Maybe he had slipped away in the middle of the night and was simply oversleeping. However, as he pushed open the door of the room was in disarray, looking like someone had ransacked it looking for something. Even Teacup was gone, missing from the small makeshift bed she usually slept in. A lump formed in his throat as his knees felt weak, buckling from under him. He wrapped his arms around himself, silent sobs racking his body as he curled into himself. Jinki was gone. Most likely killed for simply falling in love with him.

How could he forgive himself?

----

Present, the night before the final fight

“Tomorrow is the big day.” Jinki softly mumbled. The sun was low, or he assumed so with the low light coming in from the small window in his cell. His back was pressed against the wall he shared with Jonghyun, knowing the man was leaning on the other side. He knew Jonghyun had heard him, because of the sharp intake of breath coming from the man’s cell. “Tomorrow you’ll earn your freedom.”

“What is freedom carrying around your death over my head?”

“Jonghyun.” Jinki warned, voice stern.

“You can’t expect me to do it. I won’t. I refuse.”

Jinki ran a hand over his face, staring at the swinging pendant held by his left hand. Slowly he pushed off the ground, walking to where the bars of the cell and the stone of the wall met. “Jonghyun.. Come to the bars. Hold out your hand.”

Hesitantly, Jonghyun did as he was asked. His fingers brushed Jinki’s for a moment before he felt a braided thread. He grabbed it carefully before pulling his hand back. When he lifted his gaze from the pendant he had carved for Jinki all those years ago, he stumbled back, far enough to be able to see his face. “Jinki.. I-”

“I’ve kept that with me, a connection to you all these years. I’ve always thought it’s protected me somehow from death.” Jinki took a ragged breath, tears visibly falling down his cheeks. “It’s only right that I return my heart to you before it ends. Promise me you’ll keep it.”

“Jinki-”

“Please.”

Finally, Jonghyun relented tears of his own falling. “I promise.”

“Never forget that I love you.” Jinki sniffled hard, falling apart at the seams when finally facing what awaited them when the sun rose again. “Please remember how much I love you. That everything I ever did, the mistakes I made, leaving.. I did them thinking of you, even if they were wrong.”

“I know Jinki.” Jonghyun let a broken sob escape, quickly composing himself more. “I love you.”

“Oh, do I.”

[hearteyesavasilva]

Happy pride to 8 year old me who first heard the word lesbian after a classmate called her one just because she enjoyed playing soccer with boys. Although she didn’t know what it meant, she could tell it was meant as an insult and cried to her mom about it.

Happy pride to 10 year old me who covered her notebooks with pictures of the j bros, selena gomez, miley cyrus, demi lovato and jb while only referring to the boys as her celebrity crushes but still thinking the girls were so pretty and “nice to look at”.

Happy pride to 11 year old me who met a cute girl in her English classes and couldn’t understand why she loved staring at her dimples.

Happy pride to 12-15 year old me who cried while watching coming out videos and couldn’t understand why those videos affected her so much.

Happy pride to 13 year old me who started watching Austin and Ally because she saw them kiss and felt butterflies. She also noticed Ally (Laura Marano) had dyed her hair and she looked amazing. She would spend the next 4 years being obsessed with Laura Marano and feeling tingly whenever a new photoshoot or interview came out.

Happy pride to 14 year old me who had a crush on two of her friends at the time (a boy and a girl). She only acknowledged the boy crush because she blushed whenever she talked to him, liked making him laugh and listening to him talk about music. However, she also did everything in her power to spend time with the girl and even started reading more to talk to the girl about books and listen to her rant about them because she thought she was so smart. She didn’t know crushes could feel different depending on gender.

Happy pride to 15 year old me who met another girl at a party and, after talking for over an hour, realized it was the first time she’d ever felt that comfortable with someone she didn’t know.

Happy pride to 16 year old me who fought with her mom who called her a lesbian for supporting gay rights. That same year was so exciting because she got to see 5sos live. Her mom told her she was glad she liked a boyband because she was getting worried she was gay. She started to wonder “why can’t I like both men and women?” but repressed those thoughts for a couple of years.

Happy pride to 17 year old me who was scrolling through tumblr when she came across a gifset of kadena moments and instantly felt butterflies. She proceeded to watch the season that was out and felt Kat was relatable. She pushed those feelings aside for a while.

Happy pride to 18 year old me who started university and met a lesbian, a bisexual girl and a gay boy and had to keep herself from asking how they discovered they weren’t straight.

Happy pride to 21 year old me who saw a gifset of portrait of a lady on fire, felt goosebumps because of the palpable tension between the characters, decided to watch the movie and finally admitted what she already knew “hold up, I’m not straight”.

And finally, happy pride to 22 year old me who irl is very much still in the closet but she feels more comfortable with her identity. I can finally say “I’m bi” and put a label to all those convoluted feelings I’ve felt my whole life. I can say I’ve liked boys. I can also say I’ve liked girls. Anyone in between. I don’t have to choose or “pick a side”. I get to exist, accept and love who I am.

[peculiar-author]

FINAL AUTHOR’S PICK for TOP 11 PRODUCE 101 Season 2

Well I think everyone here could make their own version/pick. 

I'll make one. Pendi's Top 11 Picks for Produce 101 Season 2

1. Pledis Entertainment's Kim Jong Hyun - LEADER

I think everyone of us agreed that he should be up in the top 11 taking the title of Leader. He experienced being a leader not just in produce 101, but even before when he was still an active member of NU'EST. He already taste the bitter-sweet of becoming an idol and how tough it is to become one of them and have to take his pride down and join the Produce 101. With the right mentality, and wisdom, there is no one in Produce 101 (all at least so far from what we saw) can touch Kim Jonghyun in term of his capability to be a leader. Otherwise he is so talented and a soulful rapper with a great dance ability too. So he is no doubt would be on top 11 with his recent rank as no 1 in rap and also no 1 in overall 2nd ranking announcement. 

2. MMO Entertainment's Kang Daniel - JUST DO ANYTHING  

As beautiful his face and smile is. He is really the heart robber. He has great personality and motivation. I know he may got into some controversial act before, and cheating is really such an unhonorable act, with that being said, his personality and talent show that he is more than that. His attitude on the screen also shows that he is responsible and have a good fighting spirit. He is incredible with his dancing b-boy thing, and rapping and singing. He does improve a lot too, there are still room to grow even though he is already in Class A. With the right attitude and willing to learn & grow, he is a good example to be a great idol. 

3. Fantagio's Ong Song Sung Woo - VISUAL   

He is already my favorite since the first episode, but until Kang Daniel came and shows his cuteness. LOL. But he is the man of dance and popping God. His jokes and Gag talents is also worth to count. With great visual and stage presence he is for me one of the best stage & expression experts. His dance skills also great and also his attitude and how he cares about others. He knows how to put himself in different kind of situation, for me he is a man with many talents, without trying to hard to show off and he got his way to impress people effortlessly. and he is more than ready to steal your heart right from the first impression to his long career ahead. 

4. Brave Entertainment's Kim Samuel - DANCE    

I don't understand why people doesn't seem to agree that he deserve to be in the top 11. Even the trainers and national representative the Queen BoA fall in love with him and he is the first trainee to get into the A Class (based on the show). With his young age and how much he loves to dance and how much he spent his life practicing and dancing and how much he shows that he really want this is just.. beautiful. I really appreciate him to keep going and keep the fighting spirit. He is also respected by other trainees with his talents and I think he already shows improvement of his singing skills to. 

5. Chun Entertainment's Kim Yong Guk - VOCAL

He really shows his charm and how good his vocal is in the "If It Is You" performance. I think he is another good example on how much an underdog can do more and be success with his talent and not just his face. He has amazing vocal who can give different color to the group, I think he has so much potential and he doesn't have a problem with following the choreography, so he is up in top 5 for me. 

6. Individual Trainee Kim Jae Hwan - VOCAL     

He is no dubbed the best vocal in P101 now. But he is more than his vocal. I his personality and charms he shows during the interview. I really like the way he talk and how he is honest and not so greedy for a position (maybe because he is already got the top posisition). But I think he is a must in term for vocal ability to be put in the top 11. And I am glad everyone have voted and put him in the top 11, for his talents, not just for a pretty boy with no talents. 

7. CUBE Entertainment's Lai Guan Lin - RAP 

Talking about pretty boy without talent, the first time I saw him in the top 11 in the first voting result, and how he perform in front of the trainer for the first time, I basicly hate him for being in the top 11 with pretty face with no (I mean still in the making) talent & ability. But through out the show he shows how he is so passionate in rap and his ability to write and compose rap for his performance is amazing. He also know how to put great performance on stage, and I really appreciate him. It is not just a talent but his attitude also counts. I think everyone is working hard and everyone is also trying hard. But to put that hard work into something that is a great performance, I think he nailed it. Love his voice. 

8. Brand New Music's Park Woo Jin - DANCE  

I am agreed with everything Jenny said. He is one of my favorite now after the get ugly episode. Just seeing him saying "I'm Doomed" is cute and how he reacts to the first time he saw the Get Ugly Team. But I think he has a solid talent for vocal and dance. He is the perfect example for not craving for high ranks, just do and give the best, and now he got in the top 11. Love him so much. 

9. MAROO Entertainment's Park Ji Hoon - VISUAL   

Honestly I hope to see more talent from him, not just his visual. I think he has been to focus on how to act cute and come up with new trademark after the wink. But I know he is good tho, being in the Class B means he is great, and I think it is a safe choice to include him to the top 11 as we are talking about IDOLS, and boy like him with his charms and talents is one solid yes for an Idol. 

10. C9 Entertainment's Bae JinYoung - VOCAL

He is just charming in many ways. With that shy not-so-confident personality is cute but also shame. He should know how good he is, he is charming in many ways, his face, his voice, his dance, his one covered eye, his stage presence, his smile. I am glad that he shows more smile and prove he is great on stage in the recent My Little Girl performance. I am just so happy to watch his performance with his smile through out the performance, and we also haven't talk about his performance the ballad song downpour, his voice is just great. And I shipped him with Jihoon haha

11. Brand New Music's Lee Dae Hwi - VOCAL   

It hurts my heart that he has lesser screen time now, but he proves to have more to show and more ideas and more stage presence in every performance he is on. I think he has so many talent and potential. Hope he can become more confident than ever and overcome all the hates he got. 

12. Pledis Entertainment's Hwang Minhyun - VISUAL.   

What just top 11? But I really can't leave this one. He is a great center to, I love all his stage presence, the smirk, the stares, the gaze. I think he is also have a solid vocal too. He is experienced and I think he deserve to be in the top 11. He has all the idol material, handsome, tall, sharp, and charming. He is price charming and he really completed the group as a whole. so please let him be in the top 11. 

Other trainees that I hope to be in the top 11 is actually Lee Woo Jin, although I know he might be hard to fit in, but I love himm.. #13 - VOCAL

Choi Min Ki & Dong Ho - it hurts my heart to hear they story and how they struggle to survive the idol life and music industry. As all the talents they got, they really are ready to get another chance to debut. But I think not in this group. I hope they both get success in the future. - #14 #15 VISUAL - VOCAL

Takeda Kenta. He is great I think he got all and everything you need as an idol, but poorly we have less interaction with him. Less interview, less screen time. But he nailed all the performance and I love him so much. #16 - VOCAL

Yoon Jae Sung he is incredible person and i just want to see him more and more. He is just hillarious. - #17 - I dont know what suitable position for him. Maybe Vocal or Responsible for GAG & VARIETY SHOW

Jung Se Woon - I love his understanding and his vocal. He is great, and it is waste of talent if he doesnt debut soon.  #18 - VOCAL

Lim Young Min & Kim Dong Hyun: Everyone from Brand New Music is ridiculously attractive to me. I think both of them have reputable capability as a rapper. Coming from the rap agency I think they have the quality looks and talent becoming an idol. #19 #20 - RAP

Ardor & Able trainees Noh Tae Hyun & Ha Sungwoon. Both are in Class A and super talented in dancing, but sadly they lack of screen time. I am happy for Taehyun he really still the spotlight in the position challenge. He did super great as the leader and choreographer for Shape of You, and he is just the best dancer in P101 for me. Next Ha Sungwoon who recently hopelessly and relentlessly trying hard to be get notice and to keep being in the competition. I think he has a great personality, and work ethic. #21 & #22 DANCE

NOTABLE MENTION:

LEE EUI WONG

AHN HYEONG SEOB

I dont know how they survive, for me their stage is average, but I think if you just be positive, and smile, and hard working enough, you’ll get notice.

AND JUSTIN PLS, I AM CRAVING FOR HIM

[today-only-happens-once]

OK

Title: OK

Characters/pairings: Eileen Leahy x Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester

Word Count: 1560

Summary: What if Eileen had shown up at the bunker rather than run down by a hellhound?

A/N: This fic probably speaks for itself. I’m not ready to let go of Eileen as a character, nor am I ready to let go of Saileen as a ship. So… enjoy this unedited fluff and angst mess. I am not a person who is deaf or hard of hearing, but I did my best. Do, please, let me know if something isn’t right, though. Gif not mine, pulled from google images. 

Also, there may be a part 2. I have a few scenes I’d like to add to, but it might depend a bit on how season 12 ends next week. We will see. At least for now, here is this.

Warnings: fluff, angst, spoilers for season 12 through episode 21, canon-divergent from episode 21.

Tags: @illshakeyouallnightlong-dean, @winchestersnco, @mamaimpala, @squirels-angels-and-moose, @summer-binging-spn, ((if any of you guys would rather not be tagged in my stuff, please let me know! I promise its okay. ^u^)) As always, happy to add if anyone wants to be tagged in anything!

When the boys heard knocking echo though the bunker, it was safe to say they were surprised. In part because knocking is so normal and nothing recently had been even close to “normal” about their lives. Also, because the only people who they would even think to expect was either Mary or Castiel, and neither one would have knocked.

Dean looks at Sam with raised eyebrows, but Sam just shrugs a shoulder and pushes his seat back from the table in the war room. He jogs up the stairs, Dean not far behind him, and heads to the front door. He only shares a brief glance with his bother before opening it.

The woman standing in front of him is perhaps the last person Sam expected to see. Her long, dark hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, a few strands here and there pulled loose. Sam didn’t have to look at her long to tell the exhaustion that was etched into her dark eyes.

“Eileen?”

Relief tugs her mouth in a warm smile. “Hi, Sam.” Her gaze flickers between the brothers, her smile faltering just a little. “I guess you didn’t get my letter…”

Sam glances at his brother, who lifts a shoulder and shakes his head. He looks back at Eileen. “No, but uh… Come in. Please.” He offers a smile and grabs the small suitcase she had brought with her.

Dean carefully touches her shoulder as she comes in to get her attention. When she looks at him, he says, “Not that we’re not glad to see you, but we thought you were in Ireland.”

“I was,” she explains, a hesitance in her voice that caused the brothers to glance at one another. There were a lot of ways to describe Eileen, but hesitant wasn’t usually one of them. “I’m on the run.” She let out a breath. One that, had Sam not been paying attention, he might’ve missed the way it trembled slightly.

“From who?” Dean asks for the both of them since Eileen was looking at him.

Eileen swallows. “The Men of Letters.”

Sam stiffens slightly. It’s not that it surprised him. Mick had gone on and on about the “Code”, and all three of them knew that if the Code applied to Mick, it applied to the rest of the British Men of Letters. But Eileen was more than capable of taking care of herself. So if she was coming to them for help, things had to be worse than they had thought.

Eileen turns to Sam, her eyes wide with a fear that made Sam’s gut turn. “They bugged my home and my computer. Can I stay here? Just for a few days while I get things sorted out?”

“Of course,” Sam replies immediately. “As long as you need.”

“Thank you,” she says, signing it as well. Despite himself—despite how tired she looks, how urgent the situation that brought her here is—Sam can’t help but smile and feel a slight flutter in his stomach at the smile she gives him in return.

“S-A-M W-I-N-C-H-E-S-T-E-R.”

“You’re getting faster. You’ve been practicing.”

Dean is walking past the bunker’s library when he hears Eileen’s voice float out into the hallway. She had been there three days, already filled in the guys about what she had found out about how she’d been bugged and was pretty sure they were onto her during her time in Ireland. She’d told them in a diner after making sure they left their phones in the Impala. She was taking no chances that they hadn’t been bugged too, and neither of the Winchester boys could blame her after they heard her story.

Dean’s stride slows to the open entryway into the room to see Sam and Eileen sitting on the couch, angled towards each other. Sam’s back was to him, but he’d bet money that his brother is blushing.

“Ah, well…” Sam clears his throat, rubbing his hands on his jeans. “Dean and I both have. And uh, you’re a great teacher.”

Dean rolls his eyes. Smooth, man.

Both boys had picked up a few signs over the months from video chatting with Eileen, but Dean had no illusion that Sam both video chatted with her more frequently than Dean did, and that he put more behind-the-scenes work into learning sign language. From the knowing smile that tugs at the corner of Eileen’s lips, Dean is pretty sure that Eileen knows that too.

It’s Eileen’s scream that wakes Sam up, his blood running cold in the split second it takes for him to process the sound. In the next second, he’s kicked off the covers and is on his feet, grabbing the angel blade he had stashed in the drawer beside his bed and throwing open the door. Dean is in the hallway too, but Sam is closer to her door. It was right across from his room.

“Eileen?” he shouts, turning the knob and throwing his weight into the door. It flies open, slamming a wooden post into the leg of Eileen’s bed. She’d asked to set it up when she first moved in. She was scared. And no matter how much Sam and Dean both tried to assure her she was safe with them, she wanted to make sure that she woke up if someone came into her room. The light from the hallway was easy to turn off. A wooden post positioned just right so that opening the door pushed it into the bed and jolted the frame would be good enough, she said. Crude but effective. 

Sure enough, the huntress wakes with a start, her gasps coming fast and hard. Sam is across the room in three strides, kneeling by the side of the bed. “Hey,” he says softly, not even knowing that Dean checks the room to make sure it was just a nightmare, takes one look at his brother at her side, and then quietly leaves the room.

But Eileen doesn’t hear him and doesn’t see him, her eyes wide and terrified. As gently as he can—afraid he’ll only spook her more—Sam reaches or her hand, wrapped in a death-grip around her bed sheets.

She jumps at the contact, but when her gaze meets Sam’s, she releases a hard breath. Her eyes have the same thin sheen they had when she’d been upset she’d killed the British Man of Letters. “It’s okay,” Sam tries to say, but Eileen has averted her gaze. With the hand that Sam doesn’t have, she covers her face and takes in a hiccupping breath.

Sam sighs softly, his brow knitting together in concern. He brushes his thumb softly against her knuckles. She doesn’t react, but she doesn’t pull away either. So he gingerly turns her hand over in his so that her palm faces up. Her hands are worn and weathered—like every hunter’s—but Sam can’t help but feel like her hands are different than anyone else. She uses them in ways that Sam is doing his best to understand but he knows he has a long way to go.

Eileen’s hands have meaning etched deeply into every crease and scar.

So maybe—Sam thinks—they’re the best tool to help convey meaning back to her. In the palm of her hand, Sam takes his index finger and slowly traces “OK” over and over. He thinks he hears her breath catch faintly, but he keeps doing it, watching her carefully. He just…wants her to know that he’s there for her.

It takes a few times. Sam loses track, but he was never really counting in the first place. Eventually, Eileen pulls her face up out of her hand and runs her fingers through her dark, tangled hair. Her dark eyes look bigger than usual to Sam.

Her fingers slowly fold over the palm that Sam had been tracing in. She looks at her hand, still in Sam’s, and then back up at him. She brings the first up to her chest and rubs a circle. I’m sorry. She glances down, her face a little red but in the dim lighting Sam can’t tell if it’s because she’d been crying or because she was embarrassed.

Sam carefully—askingly—nudges her chin up to look at him. He shakes his head. “Don’t be,” he says, knowing Eileen can read his lips. When he tries to pull her in for a hug, she leans into him, her face pressed against the thin cotton shirt. Sam wonders in the back of his mind if she can feel just how hard his heart it beating.

[surveyyyys]

1.if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? Read -- I don't know if this is a contemporary definition of who I am, but I think The Sirens of Titan by Vonnegut would be a good example of what kind of content captivates me. Watch -- Maleficent is a really good movie because it matches my take on love and friendship pretty well. The Devil Wears Prada is also a good movie because it's basically everything I want for my own life. But they would have to stop just before Andy quits her job like I do LOL Listen to -- easily “Evelyn” by Kim Tillman and the Silent Films. I heard that song and I felt like it described me better than I could describe myself. 

2.have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who? I don't think so. I've read a lot of books and really admired how those other people thought. And I connected with the messages that the books sent. But I don't think I felt that my thought process measured up to theirs LOL.

3.three songs that you connect with right now. Adia Victoria's cover of Laissez Tomber Les Filles Hurricane by 76th Street Hospital Beds by Florence and the Machine

4.would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? LOL nah. She's not very trustworthy and she seems a little passively judgmental in bed. Plus I'm straight LOL

5.have you taken someones virginity? Yes!

6.how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? None LOL

7.if you could, would you take back your last kiss? I wouldn't! I think it was necessary.

8.who would you like to see in concert? Probably Marina. I think that would be a really fun concert.

9.what was the last concert you saw? I went to Warped with a few other people 2 years ago.

10.would you ever want to swim with sharks? LOL hell no

11.do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I hope so! I want to be the kind of person who's always changing.

12.what was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably something silly my mom said.

13.a song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? I don't really listen to music during sex... but probably Tadow by Masego.

14.have any pets? My sister has a cat! I like to consider her partially my cat.

15.do you want to have kids? How many? Not now obviously, but eventually. I don't think I would want more than 2.

16.do you have piercings? How many? I only have 2 ear piercings.

17.do you miss anyone from your past? Of course I do. I think that's just part of being a person though.

18.what are you craving right now? Nothing really... maybe the energy to get me through this next semester?

19.have you ever broken someone’s heart? Probably. Not like seriously broken their heart, but done a little damage to it.

20.have you ever been cheated on? Yes.

21.have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? I mean, his actions often made himself cry. But I was the one who was affected by his actions, yes.

22.do you believe in true love? I believe that true love is unconditional love, and that it only exists when it comes to family. Blood is always thicker than water.

23.favourite weather? The first few weeks of fall when it's still warm out, and the leaves are still changing color. After that it becomes a gross playground for seasonal depression.

24.do you like the snow? LOL nope never did

25.do you wanna get married? Someday. But I don't want it so much that I'm going to sit around waiting for it to happen, you know?

26.is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Sure, depends on who it is.

27.what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? LOL the weird tense we speak in.

28.go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! It is physically impossible to lick your elbow.

29.what’s your favorite pasta dish? I like a well done spinach ravioli.

30.what color do you really want to dye your hair? I don't really want to dye my hair that badly. But when I'm old and my hair gets white anyway, I'm gonna dye it pink. Nobody's gonna argue with an old lady with pink hair, you know what I mean?

31.what’s your favorite eye color? I think this is a very "White People" question since most other ethnicities have brown eyes by default.

32.talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. LOL I get a bag like that each year. I don't really buy expensive branded bags for this purpose since I know they're gonna end up in the armpit of New Brunswick, on Rutgers bathroom floors, and on nasty buses by the end of the year. I don't love them to pieces, but I'm glad I have them. This year's bag is a small white sling bag with a pink and green floral design on it. It carries everything I would need or want on a daily basis (ex. phone, wallet, extra phone charger, gum, whatever liquid lipstick I'm wearing that day, mini Swiss Army knife, earbuds, compact mirror, etc.). I take it everywhere with me.

33.are you a morning person? Not in the slightest.

34. what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I've never broken in anywhere LOL

35.what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I don't wear a particular pair of shoes with every outfit. I think the oldest pair of shoes I own are these tattered gray boots that I got in like middle school LOL. I rarely wear them.

36.what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I never really invested in like cute or fun socks because they're always expensive and I think it's kind of a useless thing to invest in. But everyone always has these interesting fuzzy socks on and I'm like "hmm, maybe I should get a pair of those." But I never do. In terms of socks, I prefer function over fashion for some reason.

37.tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Nothing really interesting happened after 3am. There are usually 3 different post-3-AM scenarios: either I'm talking to someone for so long that it's approximately 4 to 5am before we realize it, we were drinking and someone got too drunk and blacked out/threw up, we were drinking/doing drugs and we actually survived the night without blacking out/throwing up.

38.do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! LOL I just go to Starbucks man.

39.who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I don't go stargazing with anyone. I just notice them by myself and it makes my day better. It's more of a personal thing for me.

40.what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? I was always really scared of bugs. I still am.

41.do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Nah I don't buy either. I don't have a CD/record player.

42.think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I always used to associate the song "Belle of the Boulevard" with my older sister. I don't think it applies anymore though, since she's in a relationship now.

43.what are your favorite memes of the year so far I like the lil spiderman one. I also thought the "some of you never ____ and it shows" ones were fun until they reached mainstream meme sources (Buzzfeed, Instagram, etc.) and they became unfunny.

44.do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I don't like poetry.

45.what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? A Pottery Barn gift card when I was in middle school. For both instances.

46.what are some of your worst habits? I care too much about what other people think. I also grind my teeth.

47.describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. They're really short, probably one of the shortest people I've ever met. They're an INTJ through and through, and usually pride themselves on telling it like it is. Sometimes though, they "tell it like it is" during inappropriate situations which can be annoying. They really want to be a writer, but they're working in Marketing now for the money. They're a good student, and are motivated to succeed, which is a breath of fresh air in an environment where nobody seems to care about where they're going or how to improve. Behind their IDGAF attitude, though, they give many fucks. They tell me that they care deeply for their friends, and most of the time I actually believe them (which is saying a lot for me, since I never believe that anyone cares about anyone). They have a lot of insecurities and they can try to cover up those insecurities with male validation.

48.tell us about your pets! My sister has a cat named Minnie. She's a brown cat and she's getting to be on the heavy side LOL. She screams between 3pm and 6pm because that's when she's hungry. She also likes sitting outside closed doors and screaming. She really likes boys and she'll be super sweet to them. She's pretty indifferent to girls though.

49.is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Actually, no. At most, I should probably be working on my case study or getting my shit together before school starts. But these are the last two days of my winter break. So it's okay if I relax a little bit.

50.are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I don't really care about minions LOL.

51.what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My coworkers threw me a little birthday party and put up streamers and got me cupcakes this past summer. It really brightened my day, since no one had done that for me in years.

52.describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. I don't really gaze into my friend's eyes like that.

53.what’s some of your favorite album art? War Eternal by Arch Enemy, Broken Machine by Nothing But Thieves, How to be a Human Being by Glass Animals, Villains by Queens of the Stone Age, Heritage by Opeth, and probably a few others.

54.are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I want to get a tattoo on my upper back next summer. It's going to be a mountain range with a few birds flying over it, and 2 lines written in this language I made up underneath it.

55.do you like concept albums? which ones? I like the idea of them! I don't think I listen very much to any concept albums though.

56.what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Memento and Forrest Gump.

57.list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Oh No! by Marina, Hurricane by 76th Street, The Wolf by Phildel, Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine, Orbiting by the Weepies, Pretty Little Head by Eliza Rickman, Elastic Heart by Sia, Big Girls Cry by Sia, Cellophane by Sara Jackson Holman.

58.if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Definitely to go 5 years into the future.

59.what do you do when you’re sad? I usually just listen to music and wallow.

60.what are some things you do when you can’t sleep? I play this one specific podcast called Dan Carlin's Hardcore History. I'm usually asleep within the next 30 minutes of playing it.

61.what was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? There are a few contenders. There's the night I did acid for the first time. There's any of the nights we had those parties in our suite last year where no one threw up/cried. There's that night I legitimately fell off the bed laughing, and we drove to another campus in the middle of the night in someone's pickup truck. Any one of the nights during my winter community service break trip where we cooked/got sentimental/bonded. I'm sure there are others.

62.who is the last person you told a secret to? The same friend I described in this survey.

63.what’s the best piece of advice you ever received? Many people have told me this. But it's to stop trying to jump to the finish line and enjoy the present.

64.what’s your favorite food? I don't have one specific all-across favorite food. But I really like breakfast food out of all others!

65.what’s your secret dream? I want to go on a several-day-long trip with a bunch of close friends. I don't want to tag along with my sister... I want it to be my own trip with my own friends.

66.three songs you were recently obsessed with. Despicable - Grandson OBLIVIUS - The Strokes Broken Machine - Nothing But Thieves

67.three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one --

68. three favourite old songs A Well Respected Man - The Kinks Shout At The Devil - Motley Crue Rust In Peace... Polaris - Megadeth

69.three last songs you listened to Overdose by Grandson and two other random songs I didn't pay much attention to.

70.worst possible time to get horny: During an exam (it's happened before).

71.have you ever had a friends with benefits? Yup a couple times. Didn't last very long though.

72.do you believe in soulmates? Consciously I don't, but subconsciously I do.

73.Is there anyone you would die for? My sister and my mom.

74.whowas the last person you cried in front of? My sister's cat LOL

75.do you give out second chances too easily? I actually don't give out enough second chances I think.

76.is it easier to forgive or forget? Forget.

77.is this year the best year of your life? Nope, that was definitely 2016.

78.do you have trust issues? Very much so.

79.who/what was your last dream about? I don't actually remember... I knew it was set in a university environment though.

80.would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Only if I could go back to my first year of college and relive it.

[auburnfamilynews]

John Reed-USA TODAY Sports

A true whoopin’.

Auburn 56

Mississippi State 23

How did we feel about that one? Well, it was awesome.

SNAP JUDGMENTS

HhHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha

Breath

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha

I just finished my bar exam

-Son of Crow

Last year, I went to the Auburn-Miss State game and our offense was brutal to watch. Tonight, Auburn was up 21-0 before Miss State knew what hit them. Bo Nix had 386 total yards and hit several deep balls that fans have been longing for. The fumbles were an issue but overall, a lot of good things tonight. Now they look at the showdown next week in Gainesville! Can’t wait!

-Will McLaughlin

Ho

Lee

Shit

I mean just look at that line. #10 carved em up. The defense created havoc. Boobee scored 3 times. I’m so damn proud of this team. 5-0 and let’s ride for Gainesville.

-James Jones

Auburn fully set Bo Nix loose tonight & we all saw why he won the starting job. He for the first time all season looked fully in control of this offense and it was beautiful to watch. The defense got gashed some by a few of the same concepts as last year but overall were dominant once again. Auburn proved tonight that they are without a doubt a top 10 team. Now it’s time to go to the Swamp and prove they aren’t. WAR DAMN EAGLE.

-AU Nerd

That was a whole lotta fun. Bo Nix is no longer a true freshman. He’s grown into his role nearly fully. The offensive line showed that maybe they have a higher ceiling than previously thought. It feels good to get the win despite some mistakes. Now on to another huge test in Gainesville. I think these guys are ready. War Eagle!

-AU Chief

It’s embarrassing. Losing to Mississippi State on any given year is embarrassing. At Auburn, you have to beat the Mississippis, Arkansas, and A&M before you can start to consider having a successful season. And when you get embarrassed, you sure as hell better remember it the next year. And oh boy did we.

So, I was at a wedding this past weekend. I don’t think I’ve missed an SEC game in Jordan-Hare Stadium since I was forced to going to my HS Homecoming dance in 2003 and missed the win over Tennessee. The wedding was fine. Groom’s cake trumped the bride’s, as always. Wore a tux since I was a groomsman. It was outside. I was hot.

YouTube TV is really worth the money, because that along with a Mophie battery case can do a lot for your life if stuck in a similar situation. I’ve seen the first half, I’m just now back home and starting the 2nd, and I am extremely disappointed that I couldn’t be in Auburn to leave when the clock struck 0:00 to head home. I wouldn’t have rolled Toomer’s because at my age rolling Toomer’s happens when you beat someone that matters to you.

This was a dominant win and one that you could feel in Tuesday’s press conference. What a job by the coaching staff keeping these guys playing at a high level and not letting a shred of success get to their heads. This team has been thoroughly enjoyable to watch for the most part this year, and I am so proud of the effort they’re giving. No place is this better seen than the offensive line, who overwhelmed this State defense in the first half.

Let’s go down to Gainesville and see if there’s some more magic from a quarterback named Nix wearing #10. War Eagle!

-Josh Black

This was better than anything I could have dreamed up. Malzahn wasn’t kidding around when he spoke about how last year’s lost really stuck with the team. Auburn kicked the ball off, held Mississippi State to that first 3 and out, and never looked back. This is the kind of offensive production we all thought Nix and Co. were capable of.

And hey, maybe work on fumbling.

-Josh Dub

This game was over before it even started. Auburn got the ball on the State 30 after forcing a 3 and out, and never looked back, putting up 21 points in 6 minutes without breaking a sweat. Pretty much everyone had a good game in this one sans running backs fumbling the ball. Bo Nix had as good a game as any Auburn quarterback in a while. The defense was great again, and most of the second half points/yards came as our backups started filtering in against State’s starters. As far as players that stood out to me, KJ Britt is a dang monster at linebacker, and Sal Cannella continued to build on a REALLY strong 2019. He’s developing a solid repertoire with Bo, and he’s also been one of the better blockers on the outside.

Oh, and it was kind of a huge weekend for basketball. Shariffe Cooper commit, team (and Barkley) got their rings, and I heard the band play We’ve Got Jared on tv. No big deal.

-Ryan Sterritt

This pleases me. Offense looked good. Defense looked good. And still things to work on. On offense, holding on to the ball (even when you take out the first ‘fumble’). While on defense, we need to go over the RPO assignments for the linebackers and also how to cover a running quarterback. But receivers looked good, offensive line blocked well and Nix delivered a confident ball down field. Loved almost everything about this win, especially payback for last year (and for Omaha...).

-Drew Mac

Wow. We heard all week how focused this team was after last year’s Starkvillian nightmare, but I didn’t think it would be like that. Auburn 100% dominated that game from start to finish, and I’m even glad that MSU put up some points and had a little success on offense at times. It gives Gus the opportunity to keep drilling into these guys instead of letting them get the big head. Bo Nix was outstanding, and he did something that hasn’t been done since Cam, and then Campbell before him. 300 yards passing and 50 yards rushing, and the deep passes were on target. It looks like he’s in rhythm with Williams and Schwartz now, and even Sal Cannella had some huge moments including a rowdy third down snag.

On defense, it’s hard to get even more excited about what we offer there, and the depth is getting chances to develop. We thought we were a little thin after the first string, but even the backups were blowing up Bulldogs all night long.

As far as concerns go, I’m not even really worried about the fumbles as much as I might need to be. Bo’s fumble was a freshman mistake after he broke open for a huge run, Seth Williams’ fumble wasn’t really one, and only Boobee’s was really one that worries me. He has to learn to hold on to the ball. Later in the game when the backups put the ball on the ground, we likely won’t have those guys doing that in real time unless we keep blowing people out.

Man, next week is going to be nostalgic with a Nix wearing #10 in the Swamp in a huge game. If Bo plays as well as his father did in that stadium, we walk out easy winners. He’s turning into an absolute star. And I think I like how Gus is managing things right now. He’s sassy, and completely fueled by Waffle House right now. Just keep the hashbrowns coming. War Eagle!

-Jack Condon

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/9/29/20889875/snap-judgments-7-auburn-56-mississippi-state-23

[vrheadsets]

VR vs. Unpacked

And thus, with more than a whimper than a bang, the final tentpole for this part of convention season, or at least as far as we are concerned, is done.  Yes, there’s a PAX on the horizon… several probably as they tend to breed like rabbits. And then there’s also the Euroga- sorry, I mean there’s also EGX of course. That’s next month. But in truth these pale in comparison to the big western twosome of E3 and Gamescom. The team are home from their German travels and as of this morning are back in the office. Well, not the office. We don’t work at the office as we all work from home; scattered as we are, to the winds, throughout the UK.  And it is probably time to take stock and figure out what the plan is for the next month or two. Always useful to have a plan to guide you along.

For me I’m just glad things are done for a bit. It will be nice to see things again back to normal. When my biggest concern is running up the street with a wheelie bin rammed with rotting rubbish, desperately chasing the bin men who finally appeared at random following weeks absence on a strike.  That was a fun way to start the day.

Of course, Gamescom wasn’t the only thing going on in the last couple of weeks. There was also Samsung Unpacked. Oh boy, oh boy, there was Samsung Unpacked. So, for this week’s column I have but one plea. Dear Samsung, can you please do something about Samsung Unpacked? Pretty please?

Samsung Unpacked is, without exception the one event none of us want to get stuck doing.  The reason is very simple – it’s unrelentingly boring. We’re talking blood pouring from the ears as the brain liquifies levels of tedium. For something so relatively short Unpacked has managed to acquire some bizarre ‘loaves and fishes’ skill, the uncanny knack of being able to take a relatively small amount of information and stretching it out into several ice ages.  I’ve been stuck covering various Unpackeds – Is that correct plural for Unpacked? – for three years now and I can honestly say there is no worse feeling on the calendar than to see you are working the day it is on.

It’s not like Samsung don’t put effort in to the event. This one was particularly razzle-dazzle, with the stage comprising three videos screens (two walls and the floor itself) making a great spectacle for video with all three used as a singular unit.  It all looked particularly impressive. I’ll also happily admit to being impressed that Samsung tackled the unmitigated disaster that was the Galaxy Note 7 right out of the gate.  It could’ve been easy to breeze over or just ignore entirely.  Instead, in a package of highlights on the history of the Note series, Samsung specifically acknowledged the it had “disappointed” people and let them down.  Then went on to praise their fans for remaining loyal despite the troubles.  Whatever your stance on that, and I know some felt it was a bit disingenuous, it was the right thing to do and rather brave of them to do. Not every company would want to remind folks how its last product, you know, exploded. Certainly not right before announcing the new model.

We already knew we were getting the Note 8 of course, confirmed when Samsung very cleverly managed to leak the news on their own website the day before. Here is a technical summary of that situation:

The problem is, especially if you’ve seen multiple Unpacked events, is that they all sound the same. Scratch that, they are the same. They’re practically cookie cutter in terms of their layout and what is said. Only the product name and picture (and price) changes.  I’ve been covering these for three years now – that’s 21 years in dog years and I think 104 in how it felt – and they desperately need to do something about what they are presenting because by the end I was pleading with the cosmos to just end it all.

To quote a fellow tech industry friend who was also covering the event and clawing out his hair, whom I reached out to on Skype with what I think was a near bestial cry for help. “The only people that deserve money are the people that manage to recycle the script year-in year-out.”

The crowd woke up twice during the event. Once for a camera demonstration as the new Note can take two pictures simultaneously and you can switch between a close-up or a fuller shot.  You can also manually adjust the focus after the event, say if you wanted the focus of the picture to all be on the figure in front and the background softly blurred you can do that. Or you can show the whole background in very sharp detail. It looked good, even if the person presenting sounded like they were going to end every sentence with “like, totally… fer’ sure”.

The other time they popped? The confirmation of a standard headphone jack. It’s 2017 and the biggest response is for a headphone jack. Heaven help us.

There wasn’t even a VR announcement to ease the pain of the whole thing.  Which pretty much placed the out of date cherry on top of a very stale cake.  All that remains is the sinking feeling of impending doom that after three years of covering Samsung Unpacked another two at least lurk off in the distance next year.  I am genuinely considering booking them off on holiday in a bid to save my soul from being sucked out my eyes.

Oculus Connect IV: A New Hope is another event lurking in the distance, whilst Sony have PlayStation Experience – no pressure boys and girls but there’s only so much I can take. If you don’t surpass Samsung on this one I might just all string myself up with my own HMD cables.

And if you both announce full-on untethered headsets that’s going to get a whole lot trickier for us to do.

from VRFocus http://ift.tt/2wPgW5i

[theanxiousteenager1121]

My take on Fandometrics this week

Again, I only talk about the stuff that I know about, so let’s get started. 

SHIPS 3. Malec (Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood) honestly a cool ship and I think its cute but idk how its just stayed solid at number 3 for that long. If it’s still number 3 next week we may have to have a rant.                                                  

15. Destiel (Dean Winchester and Castiel) I’m glad it went up two spots. Destiel is amazing, although I’m not as crazy a shipper as some, but I’m really anticipating season 13 and what it shall bring and I can tell y’all are too. 

18. Drarry (Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter) thank god it went down four spots. I guess this ship could be ok but I just don’t get it people. Who even thought of this like it’s just strange. I’ll be fair, if I read some good headcanons/fanfiction I might be ok with it but I guess I’m just neutral. 

20. Reylo (Rey and Kylo Ren) Ok, and I thought Drarry was weird. Actually, I take that back. It would be awesome if Rey and Ren fell in love, although their names are basically the same, and then Ren could rediscover what love is and join the good side again, I think that would be great and a good original plot twist. But then, we don’t know whether Rey and Ren are siblings, so there’s that. Yeah, I ship it, but under the right circumstances. 

TV SHOWS 4. Shadowhunters. Idk why this is number 4. Actually I don’t get why Shadowhunters is so popular. I think it’s good, I’ve read it and watched some of the show, I just think its overrated. Just saying. 

10. Supernatural. Ok I love Supernatural, I think it’s amazing and should be a bit higher on the list, but I get that season 13 isn’t coming out for a while and those of us without cable won’t be able to watch it till June, so hype isn’t strong. I also think that, though Supernatural has great actors, great plot, great music, and an awesome fanbase, it is a bit overrated as well. I love it, but it’s slightly overrated. 

Note: GUYS WHERE TF IS STRANGER THINGS? I STARTED WATCHING THAT SHOW, I LOVE IT, AND SEASON 2 IS COMING OUT SOON! WHERE’S THE HYPE PEOPLE???

MOVIES

6. Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi. YES I AM SO EXCITED. I get that it’s not coming out till December OF NEXT YEAR but the trailer is out and hype is coming up. Im just pissed that its NEXT DECEMBER

11. Zootopia. Okay, I think 11 is a fair place for this, but Zootopia was one of those movies that was good but everyone just went waaaaaaaaay overboard with shipping characters and writing smut and fanfiction and yeah its a kids movie so. Also there’s like different kinds of animals being shipped together which seems strange but it was a good movie so it deserves its place. 

14. Moana. I get that hype has died down since the movie came out last November but I think if Zootopia gets number 11 then Moana should be at least number 9. It’s a great movie with amazing music (go Lin my boy), extremely talented cast, and defying so many Disney stereotypes. There isn’t much shipping to be done as Moana and Maui would just be wrong together, but it’s still an astounding movie with the best music. 

CELEBRITIES

1. Tom Holland. He’s cute. And he has a frog in his mouth. Your place on the Fandometrics scale is well-deserved, Tom. 

3. Kylie Jenner. Really? Moving up 15 spots? Honestly I know people like the Kardashians and stuff but I really don't, I think the reality show is really shallow and just kind of a group of spoiled teenagers/adults being filmed whining or crashing cars or overreacting and stuff. I think it’s dumb. But you know if some of them do good charity work or something I may let it go. 

5. Chris Pratt. Damn he moved up fast, he wasn't even on the list last week and now he’s number 5. He is a beautiful man and talented actor, and though it may sound weird I think so far one of his best works is Parks and Rec. He is so damn funny and cute like AAAA

15. Jensen Ackles. This is good but UM WHERE IS MISHA? OR JARED? Gishwhes just happened, I feel like Misha would get at least some recognition. And to boot Jensen moved down one space. I’m disappointed, you guys. Supernatural may be a bit overrated but the actors definitely are not, they are kind and amazing people. 

16. Jennifer Lawrence. It’s her birthday today so, and I also love Jennifer I think she is so cool and funny and lit asf. I like how she is not ashamed to talk about flaws she has with her body and stuff, and her bad habits and insecurities, which a lot of famous girls don’t do. Makes a lot of us feel better about our own flaws. 

MUSICAL ACTS 1. Harry Styles. I don’t listen to him but I really don’t know why he’s number 1. I’ve heard his music and there is way better artists out there.

4. Taylor Swift. I like her music, it’s chill, but I really wasn’t sure why she moved up so fast. Turns out, she’s working on a new album. Makes sense. 

5. Fifth Harmony. Some of their songs are good. Great singers, and the acapella kind of stuff is really cool. They are talented, but their music is kind of neutral in my eyes. 

6. Shawn Mendes. I think he’s really talented, great singer, and cute. His music is bomb too. 6 seems like the place for him, I agree. 

12. Justin Bieber. Okay, I’ll admit, he is kind of cute and some of his songs are good, but his personality kind of puts me off. I jam to Despacito and I think it’s cool that he did a song in Spanish but that song gets annoying fast. Meh, 12 is a good place for him right now. 

14. Twenty One Pilots. I will never know why they say Twenty One and not just 21. Their lyrics are really different and I relate to them a lot of the time (I’ve been thinking too much, help me) their beats are lit and I think they are really cool, talented and original artists. 

17. Ariana Grande. Some of her old songs, yes, I jam to them. Her new songs I’m sure are good but I’m just not really into them. How she reacted to the Manchester event was appropriate and I have respect for her. 

20. Fall Out Boy. I’m not sure. All I know is their cover of the Ghostbusters theme song was not my thing. Ray Parker Jr. forever. 

That brings this post to a close. Also, I think Tumblr Fandometrics should do a Musical Theater/Broadway Actors page. What do you think? Idk how to ask them, but if enough of you petition for it I think we could do it. 

[afoolsingenuity]

My Thoughts // Books Which Shaped Me

I have been blogging for over three years. My blogoversary was last month and I didn’t do anything to celebrate (for shame, I know) but I wanted to mark it in some way. I’ve been sitting on this post for about a month because of that face. I could have written about what I’ve learnt during my time blogging but, to be honest, I’m still learning and what I do know everyone else has taught me so I don’t really feel comfortable relaying other people’s knowledge. Anyway, I decided instead to focus on books. I started this blog because I like reading and so I figure my three year blogoversary should be about books.

I have been reading since I was young and sure, sometimes I wasn’t as avid a reader as I am now, but I have been reading for as long as I can remember. I didn’t stop reading at secondary school or high school as many did. I didn’t get put off reading after you pass the mandatory ‘you will learn how to read’ years. In fact, I was encouraged to read by my nan who is wonderful and I am forever grateful to her. I want to look back on the books I remember most growing up and were the books I loved.

The books I remember most from when I was really young are simple. I adored the Dr Seuss Sleep Book. I read it all the time convinced it would put me to sleep (it didn’t, but try to read it without yawning). And that book was followed by longer books with fewer pictures. Books like The BFG and Matilda were my next port of call. Mostly I was reading books my nan gave me.

My nan can be attributed with a lot of my reading, to be honest. She was the reason I read Harry Potter (obviously this book was going to be included on here) and Harry Potter was probably the point I loved reading. At the same time as reading Harry Potter I also discovered Jacqueline Wilson's books. I was fully obsessed with her writing. She even did an author visit to my primary school but I had a music lesson scheduled at the same time as her visit and ended up missing seeing her! It was utterly unfair considering I was a girl who actually liked reading!

My memories of reading then get a bit fuzzy. I know I was in year 4 (so aged 8-9) when I was reading Harry Potter and and Jacqueline Wilson but I don’t remember much for a while. I read a lot of teen books as I got older and the next lot of books I remember distinctly growing up is the Fearless series by Francine Pascal. I was full on obsessed with that book series for a while, I never finished it (my library didn’t have all of the books) but I loved it for a long while. I then moved onto LJ Smith’s Secret Circle series and the Wicca series by Cate Tiernan. I went through a long phase of witches there. I loved the idea of witches and wanted to read all of the books which included them.

At around that time I was also becoming obsessed with contemporary books. I was much like I am now, I loved contemporary and fantasy and I loved a book best when there was a romance as well. I discovered two authors who I still love today. I discovered Meg Cabot and her Princess Diaries books and her Mediator series and her 1-800-Missing series. I began reading everything Cabot I could get my hands on. I read my first historical romance in the form of her YA books Nicola and the Viscount and Victoria and the Rogue but I didn’t actually discover my love for historical romance until I read some after I began blogging.

Once I discovered Meg Cabot it’s about the same time I learnt there was a teen section of books in my local book shop. I then read quite a few books which would now be classified as YA. I bought Guitar Girl by Sarra Manning (there was a girl with pink hair on the cover, I couldn’t not). And it was there I learnt I love a girl who likes music, but I don’t like boys in bands as much. I became a loyal reader of hers and she will feature again later on.

By the time I was fifteen I was finding myself growing out of YA (I thought so, anyway) but didn’t know where to turn next. I began to read whatever I could a hold of, in my case the books my mom was borrowing form the library. My mom was going through a phase of reading a whole heap of contemporary romance, most of it what would have been classified as chick-lit then. I discovered two very important authors. I discovered Sophie Kinsella and Jennifer Crusie. I adored Kinsella’s Can You Keep A Secret? (still do and it’s on my shelf, I should really reread). It’s where I learnt whilst miscommunication in romance can be frustrating it is also insanely fun. And Crusie’s Crazy for You and Bet Me where I learnt I have a thing for her writing and also for cocky men (ala Cal who is charming without trying) and oblivious men in denial (like Nick). Really, this is the point I should have known romance was my thing but it still took a few years.

Once I went to university I read a whole lot less. I began reading again when I turned 21. I got my first Kindle for my 21st birthday and I have no regrets. I’d forgotten what I enjoy to read before I got that Kindle. I bought a lot of different books and spent a long time learning what I enjoy to read after a three year reading break. I discovered Sarra Manning had published some adult romances and so I read those, still didn’t fully realise I enjoyed romance (I know, I was crazy) but I did learn I loved all the romances she had done so far. Those books are still some of my favourites.

I also discovered YA books with my new Kindle. I read The Hunger Games for the first time right before the first film came out and fell into a bit of a blackhole of YA dystopian. I read Matched and Delirium, I absolutely adored the Birthmarked series (I need to reread to see if it’s still as good as I think). And towards the end of 2012 I discovered an author I still love. I bought Daughter of Smoke and Bone for £3.35 and I had bought it simply because it was cheap and sounded vaguely interesting. It was actually Miss Peregrine’s which I’d really wanted to read. Turns out I was surprised by the book I wanted less.

I discovered book blogs during my time reading a whole heap of YA dystopian as I was determined to find more books to read. I didn’t follow them religiously but I did go to blogs to find new books. in 2013 I read less but I enjoyed far more of what I read. I read only 40 books (yeah, I know) but those books were Throne of Glass and Fangirl, Nowhere But Home and The Bone Season. They were mostly books I adored and still I was learning what I liked to read.

It was in 2014 which I started blogging and it was then I finally learnt romance was my thing. I drifted from YA contemporary to the romance genre (much like I did at 15). It was only when I became part of the blogging community I really learnt what I do and don’t like to read. I am glad I did and I am so glad I started blogging.

What I learnt from writing this post is I have basically loved romance ever since I started reading. It took me a long while to realise what I liked in reading but now I do it’s great. I mean, I love fantasy and I love a good mystery and I really love books that punch me in the feelings but romance. That will forever be my bread and butter. I don’t know why it took me so damn long to realise it. It’s amazing how my reading now has a lot of links back to my reading growing up. I still love books with witches in and I still love to get immersed in a series to binge read. But yeah, mostly I really love a book which features a good romance in it.

Have you looked back at your reading pre-blogging and seen how it is similar to your reading now? And has your reading changed as much as you think?

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