#I am so so scared

[thebibliosphere]

Tw: restricted medical diet, missing hunger cues, death, general food and chronic illness stuff. (It's a good post tho)

Being able to eat cereal again has unlocked something actually feral in me. I'm so used to not being able to grab a quick little snack that won't have Medical Consequences later that I've pretty much gotten used to just... turning my hunger cues off and running at a deficit of calories.

It takes me literal hours to eat a bag of crisps because if I don't eke it out, my body will reject it. I can't have most fruits because my body will reject them. Raw vegetables will send me to the ER. All the foods I can eat require labor, either past or present, and when you're already running on a deficit of energy from chronic pain and constant hunger, well, that's easier said than done.

But being able to do something as simple as eating cornflakes, either with or without milk, and not have my body go into an anaphylactic meltdown is... This is game-changing.

When I say it has awoken something feral in me, I'm being literal. It's hunger. I'm feeling hunger, and for the first time in literal years, I'm able to sate it without having to burn up precious energy to do it.

And it's just so achingly normal that it feels like it shouldn't be a big deal. It feels ridiculous to feel tearful over a thing like cornflakes. But when I consider the fact that in 2019, I almost died from malnutrition because my nervous system was shutting down, and I couldn't eat anything because my MCAS was so advanced everything was sending me into anaphylaxis I, I just. Yeah.

Crying over cornflakes on a Monday night.

Just MCAS 'remission' things... ✌

[thatcoyperson]

Im at the king in the loop where you help everyone out and Im not ready for whats about to happen

things are going to well and im expecting them to go down hill very fast...

[ahappydnp]

WHAT IS THE GAME WHAT SOCIAL EXPERIMENT ARE THEY PERFORMING 

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ARI TURN YOUR BOOPS ON

claire you have to understand the visceral fear i felt seeing this with no context right after waking up 😭😭😭 i feel like i just fell out of the fucking sky

BUT just for you i turned the boopometer thing on >:3 i have no idea what that means >:33 but it’s on >:333 have fun ? i think ??

[owleics-fr]

got my theory driving test tomorrow and im sooo nervous!! anyone got some comforting or lucky dragons they wanna share?

[linabirb]

girl help some of my relatives suddenly arrived and they're. Loud. and i am so so tired after therapy. can someone hold me pls

[girljeremystrong]

guys i have 100 pages left of east of eden i'm finishing it today for sure

[iheartmoons]

not to be sensitive or whatever, and i know those guys are such fucking idiots, but those five dudes dying in that submarine really fucked with my head. what am i supposed to do now ://

[blastburnt]

yayyy i get to sleep downstairs in their big gaping media room by myself ❤

[annarubys]

having to get ready for work during the mcr concert like okay fine but do NOT do anything crazy like play the sharpest lives while i’m brushing my teeth

[killbenedictcumberbatchagain]

.

[bookwyrminspiration]

god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

[boybecoming]

an ode to testosterone weight gain