#I can barely deal with my day to day life

[shroomsroom]

You are pumping out these request like a machine goddamn😦

Can I get the boys,separate, with a reader that they've known for a long time getting a glow up? Like they never found her attractive or saw her in a romantic light. But one day she BAM glows up, angsty pleeeaaaseee🙏🏽

Summary: In which you glow up after being rejected by your crush

Warnings: angst, no happy ending sorry.

Author's Note: these are all relatively small and under the same premise sorry!

You had liked your greaser friend for a while, like for a REALLY long time. So when you’d finally worked up enough courage to ask him on a date you felt heartbroken when he turned you down. Later you heard it was because you weren’t ‘pretty enough’. Well fuck that! You decided it was your perfect time to start a massive glow up!

PONYBOY CURTIS

As soon as you stepped into the classroom after everyone had returned from spring break, Pony’s jaw dropped. And so did a lot of other’s. You looked like a new person, so much so that he almost didn’t recognize you if not for your jewlery. God, you were gorgeous. He smiled at you, but you seemed to look right past him. He tried talking to you in the halls but nothing worked. You seemed so busy with your new life that you had barely any time for him.

“Hey Y/n, wait up!”

“Oh hey.” You said, not even looking him in the eyes.

“What’s up, you don’t even try to talk to me anymore,” he laughs awkwardly and you shoot him a confused look.

“Why would I?”

“Well, I mean..I thought you liked me?” He asked, and you scoffed.

“Yeah well not anymore,” you said before walking away.

JOHNNY CADE

You were hanging out at the lot by yourself when you turned around to find Johnny staring at you. His mouth was open in shock.

“Y/n?” He asked, truly blown away with how good you looked.

“Hey,” you said, trying to be respectful.

“Oh my god, haven’t seen you since..” his voice trails off and you cringe. The last time you talked to him you confessed and he politely declined, only to go off and laugh at you with Dallas later on.

“Yeah, that was my mistake,” you shrug, completely over him if it wasn’t for the embarrassment of it all.

“Mistake?” He asked, you catch the hurt washing over his face.

“Mhm, one big mistake that I’ll never make again.” You smile at him, milking your revenge for everything it was worth.

“Oh,” he said softly before you shrugged and walked away.

SODAPOP CURTIS

Sodapop was kind of like a big deal because of how good-looking he was. So when you walked into class looking like the next Miss Oklahoma rumours started to spread about how the hottest girl and guy would get together. Soda approached you during lunch, a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Hey, Y/n”. You narrowed your eye before speaking.

“Uh, hi.”

“I was wondering, if maybe you wanted to go to the drive-in with me tomorrow?” He asked. You nearly choked on your own spit.

“Hell no!” You laughed and Soda looked shocked.

“What?”

“I said no, now can you move? You’re in my way” You said before shoulder checking him while walking off.

STEVE RANDLE

Steve had seen you walking down the road looking prettier than the morning sun and was absolutely stunned by how much brighter and happier you looked. Your hair was perfect and so was your skin. He wanted to talk to you but he was too scared, so when he went home he immediately dialed up your number on the nearest pay-phone.

“Hello?” Your voice rang out from the phone and Steve smiled.

“Hey Y/n, uh, it’s me Steve, I saw you walking down the road but was too nervous to talk to you…anyways, would you like to maybe go out sometime?” He rambled into the phone, expecting you to jump on his offer like you would’ve when you confessed. Instead you just sighed,

“Pussy” and the phone clicked signalling that you hung up, leaving him standing there in shock.

TWO BIT MATTHEWS

You had always admired Two-Bit’s humor, but now it was too much. He was going around town telling people how he always knew you’d end up pretty and that you were going to practically run back into his arms when he asks you out. You cringed just thinking about ‘running into his arms’. So when you saw Two-Bit walking with his gang you took your chance.

“Two-Bit!” You called from across the street, running over to him. You watched as his guys hyped him up and he nudged them with an ‘I told you so’ look.

“Hey Y/n, how’s it been?”

“Good! Been hearing a lot about you recently.” You feigned a smile.

“Really? Like what?” he smirked.

“Like the fact you're telling people that I'd got ‘running into your arms if you gave me the chance’! Which is why I'm actually talking to you right now, I’d like to clear the air and say I'm totally over you. I know my league and you are definitely below it! Bye!” You giggled before running off, leaving him standing in shock with his gang.

DARRY CURTIS

You had known Darry in high-school. He was popular and you were not, so it made sense that he rejected you. However when you saw him approaching you at the drive in, the pain and embarrassment came crashing back down on you.

“Y/n,” he said to you, as if testing the waters. You nodded in his direction before turning your attention back towards the screen.

“How have you been, you, uh, you look good.” He said awkwardly and you glance at him.

“I'm fine.” You tensed up when he sat next to you.

“Hey, uh, do you….are you free next week?” He asked hopefully and you scoffed.

“Hell no”

“Really Y/n? Is this all because I rejected you?” You glared at him, livid over the fact that he would bring that up. “Look, I was under a lot of pressure.. I'm sorry”

“Doesn't make it hurt any less.” You mumbled before getting out of your seat and leaving the drive in.

DALLAS WINSTON

Dally only likes pretty chick's, and you learned that after he whistled at you as you passed. You of course returned the favor by shouting a harsh ‘fuck off!’ which left him open-mouthed in shock.

“Y/n?” he asked, a grin starting to form on his face.

“What,” you glared at him, eyes narrowing in anger.

“Damn, you look good!” He said, taking a step closer to you and examining you.You got pissed and pushed him back away from you.

“What? I'm just tryna compliment you!” He said, stumbling back.

“Fuck off, Dallas. I mean it.” You snapped at him before stalking away.

[justmeinadaze]

Hi! I’m 23 but requesting anonymously because this is a similar situation I experienced and wished someone would have been there for me.

I was wondering if you would be interested in writing a Steddie x reader story where the reader recently lost her grandma who she lived with in a two bedroom apartment. It’s left the reader financially strapped and she posts an ad for a roommate. Steve and Eddie are looking for a place and sees the ad. Steve is a nurse and Eddie is a mechanic or masseuse (two extremes but I feel like Eddie is always a mechanic lol).

The reader is really withdrawn and struggling with grief because her grandma was all she had. She is working two jobs and not taking care of herself. She wears herself out and gets sick. She’s really resistant to letting anyone take care of her. And she doesn’t talk to Steve and Eddie much because she’s trying to hide her struggles and doesn’t want to bother them. And it’s an adjustment to living with other people. Steve and Eddie have a huge soft spot for the reader and want to take care of her.

There can be smut or no smut in this or if it would happen to turn into two or more parts! You’re a talented writer so I have no doubt you will write this beautifully!

A/N: It took me awhile to get to this because it struck a cord with me. I get this. I am this minus a Steve and Eddie.

I think I've mentioned it before but my father suddenly passed away 10 years ago and it destroyed me. I still deal with the aftermath of that to this day. Not only do I struggle with that grief but I struggle with how I was and have been treated which is why I am a big advocate on taking the time to feel what you feel and no matter what anyone says THERE IS NO TIME LIMIT ON GRIEF.

The doctor experience I write in this story happened to me and the chaos of that...I can't even... But yeah...more than anything I want anyone who's grieving a loved one to know, you are not alone, you are not broken, your feelings are valid, and I love you <3.

The title of this comes from "Guernica" by Brand New. I was thinking of this song when I got the request because the lead singer wrote it for his grandfather who was sick in the hospital.

P.S. I am more than willing to write another part to this. I wanted to focus on the emotional aspect more than a smutty aspect for this first part.

Warnings: Topic of Grief and loss of a family member, panic attack mentioned in slight detail, Steve and Eddie have an established relationship here.

"I submit no excuse

If this is what I have to do

I owe you every day I wake

If I could I would shrink myself

Sink through your skin to your blood cells

Remove whatever makes you hurt

But I am too weak to be your cure

Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?

I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind."

“So, um, yeah the rent is $1300 including utilities and it’s due on the first of the month. You can leave it on the counter here and I can take it down to make the payment.”

Watching them go through her room was like being stabbed in the chest. When your grandmother passed, a part of you died with her and it killed you even more when you had to slowly begin removing things from her room to make space for a new roommate. Your grandma was your everything basically being a mother to you when everyone else disappeared. When she got sick it, it was no brainer to have her move in so you could look out for her with as much love and care as she had you growing up. 

For four years, she fought her disease until heaven decided it was time for her to go home. After that you began to spiral and not just personally but within life. When did everything become so expensive? Even in your rent-controlled apartment, you could barely afford the bills because everything else around you escalated to the point where now you couldn’t even take out a small loan to get groceries because your credit was so fucked up. 

You didn’t want to get a roommate and avoided the notion as long as possible but when it was becoming harder and harder to live day to day, you finally gave in. 

You were surprised when a boy answered your ad you had placed in the paper but when he told you their story, you couldn’t help but sympathize. 

“Yeah, my boyfriend and I are looking for a nice, safe place. The small town we were living in was already harassing him for the way he looks but when they found out we were together… I knew I needed to get us both out of there.”

“We can take it if you want. I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of everything.”, the pretty boy who introduced himself as Steve responded as he leaned against the wall next to you.

“I mean it’s no problem. I work a couple of jobs so I usually leave pretty early anyway.”

“Me to. Well, it’s more like me coming in early because I work overnights from time to time. I’m not sure if the hospital over here is the same but… yeah. What, um, what do you think, babe?”

The longhaired boy who told you his name was Eddie beamed widely your way.

“I love it. Are you sure we won’t be bothering you, sweetheart? We’re nice guys, we swear.”

“No. No bother.”

Both men glance towards each other at your sullen tone before Steve extended his hand towards you with an equal large but soft smile of his own. 

“We’ll take it.”

***

You didn’t anticipate how hard it was going to be having someone in the apartment again let alone people that reminded you of her. Before she retired, your grandmother was a nurse and when the scent of hand sanitizer and hospital lingered on Steve’s admittedly beautiful hands, your mind shifted to the stories she would tell you about her late nights talking with patients in her care. 

Through smell alone, you learned Eddie got a job as a mechanic at the shop down the street and the first night when the aroma of gasoline lingered you cried at the memories of being a little girl with your grandparents, sitting by your grandfather’s truck as he attempted to fix it for the 400th time. 

Loneliness began to set in almost immediately after they moved in. They never actively displayed affection in front of you but there were moments when you were leaving for work and you’d pass by their open bedroom door to see them cuddled together. Sometimes at night when you would come home from your second job, you would hear Eddie talking to Steve over the phone while he was at work and he would giggle at something the man said on the other line before telling him how much he loved him. 

You missed having someone care about you…

Your grandparents had always been there for you through everything; every breakup, rough patch in life, or just to have someone remind you that you were loved unconditionally…they were there. 

When your grandmother lived with you, you laughed harder, smiled wider, and loved waking up in the morning. Now that all seemed so far away, so unattainable. You couldn’t ever picture yourself being happy like that again. 

To avoid that pain, you ran around constantly. It’s not like you could stop anyway with how hard things got around you. Life moves on…you can’t stop just because you’re numb. You suffer through it just like everyone else. 

“Y/N?”

At the sound of Eddie’s voice, you jumped shattering the glass in your hand.

“Fuck, I’m sorry—”

“No, no. That was my fault. You seemed lost in thought. Don’t move, I can clean this up here.”

Nodding, you stood still as you watched him run to grab a broom before your brain caught up with you.

“Wait! Wait, um, don’t…don’t throw away the glass. This was, um, someone in my family gave me this cup.”

“Oh, uh, ok. Well, I don’t see a lot of little pieces. I can try and fix it for you. Do you feel comfortable coming into our room?”

Silently, you headed in that direction, pausing in front of the bed as the metalhead shimmed around you to dig in the desk drawer by the window. Everything in the room was completely different. Where her bed with her yellow comforter used to be was now a bigger bed, higher off the ground with black sheets and blue pillowcases. Where her dresser used to be with the vanity that had photos taped to the mirror was now a much smaller 3 drawer shelf with a guitar hanging above it. On the nightstand, instead of medication and a photo of you with your grandparents, there was now a pack of cigarettes, empty beer cans, a photo of both men, and a book that was half read. 

“Ok, I knew Steve had it around here somewhere. I’m clumsy as hell so he’s always fixing things I accidently break.”, Eddie mused as he sat on the floor and began to focus on his task. “So, um, how are you?”

You couldn’t help but breathily laugh at the awkward way he asked that making him smirk at the sound as you took a seat in front of him.

“I’m alright. I just have a lot going on, you know?”

“Yeah, you come and go a lot like Steve but he gets to sleep. What do you do if I may ask?”

“I’m actually a photographer for the paper.”

“Oooo paparazzi girl!” Eddie’s grin grows as his eyes take you in watching you genuinely laugh for the first time since they met you. “Is that why you come and go at weird hours?”

“Oh, no. When I’m not there, I have another job at the mall taking photos of like families and kids at Glamour Shots.”

“Yeah? Those shiny, glimmering photos? I keep trying to get Steve to take a couple of those with me but he gets adorably embarrassed.”

“How long have you two been together?”

“Geez, uh, almost 3 years now. Spent the first couple hiding our relationship because of our town and his parents, rich fuckers who think they control the moral high ground.”, he rolls his eyes. “A few months ago, he finally told them we were together and his parents kicked him out of his house. A couple weeks later, I got harassed at my job and that was the final straw. Steve packed our things and we drove out here.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“No reason for you to be, princess. You’ve been nothing but nice to us. Well, when we see you.”, he chuckles. “Steve gets worried sometimes that you push yourself too hard.”

“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m strong. I’ll be ok.”

“No one’s saying your weak, Y/N.”

“Good because I’m not!” You snap as silence falls over the room before Eddie displays the cup for you with his palm on the bottom. 

“You may not want to use it for its purpose but keep it as a display.”

Without taking it from him, you rise to your feet and run to your room, slamming the door. 

###########

Everything was loud.

Why is everything so loud?

You were running late for your second job and you couldn’t find the polo you wore for it. You felt disgusting, not having time to shower in what felt like an eternity and you were just so fucking exhausted. You couldn’t afford to lose this job nor calling in to rest. You had to make money. It’s what everyone else does.

Why is everything so loud?

As you opened your door, you were met with Eddie standing at the counter in the kitchen. 

“Have, um, have you seen…”

“Y/N, are you alright?” Tears cloud your vision as you run your fingers through your hair and absently look around the apartment with your eyes. “BABE.”

You flinched at the metalhead’s loud but stern tone not even realizing that Steve was suddenly in front of you with his hands on your biceps. 

“Y/N, what’s going on?”

“Let me go! I have…I have to…to go to work…”, you sobbed before your legs gave out and the world went black. 

***

When your eyes finally fluttered open, it was pitch dark outside and your body felt incredibly drained. It felt like every bone in your body had become stiff as you carefully tried to sit up. 

“Hey, no, no, no. Don’t move to quickly or we’ll lose you again.”, Steve cooed softly as he came up from behind you and sat down on his knees to help adjust you. “Good. Here, drink some of this but not too fast.”

When he handed you the bottle of water, you gladly sipped it as his concerned eyes scanned you over. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Heavy.”

“I’m not surprised. When you push your body as hard as you have at some point it pushes back. Do you think you can eat something while we talk?”

When you nodded, a plate appeared beside you as Eddie handed it to his partner.

“I’m going to ask you some questions purely from a medical standpoint, ok? Do you feel comfortable if Ed stays? He had a bit of a panic attack to when we couldn’t wake you up.”

“That’s fine.”, you whisper. “Is that what happened? I panicked?”

“Um, kind of, honey. This kind of seems like a slow build so I would say anxiety attack. We know you work pretty much around the clock and you told me when I called that you were struggling with cash. Has anything else been going on?”

“Someone…that mattered to me…is gone. Died.”

Eddie sat on the couch next you and without thinking brushed some of your hair behind your ear so they could see your face better. 

“I’m sorry. How long ago?”, the nurse continued to inquire. 

“On the 18th it will be 8 months.”

“And you’ve been doing everything you have?! Y/N.”, the metalhead sighed as his boyfriend gave him a look of warning as if to say tread carefully. “Sweetheart, you should be taking it easy so you can grieve.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m supposed to be fine by now.”, you murmur as you shrug your shoulders. “After my grandmother died, I got 2 weeks paid leave for bereavement. Two weeks. Two weeks of fucking casseroles, sympathies, and people checking in. After that time, everyone began to slowly disappear and I went back to work but I never…I never felt whole. I didn’t understand why everyone else seemed fine while I was still felt like I was dying.”

“After two months, I went to a doctor and told them how I felt. Do you know what she said? ‘After 6 weeks, it’s no longer grief but depression.’ That shook me. I thought to myself ‘well shit. I guess there is a time limit on grieving and there must be something wrong with me because I can’t get better!’” 

The tears begin to fall at a faster pace and you let them go. 

“I still have to work, pay my bills, live my life… but no one ever walked me through how to do that. No one ever showed me how to continue existing without the person you love…without someone who meant the most to you… I wasn’t prepared to be left alone without her.”

Eddie presses your head to his chest as you sob, his arms squeezing you tightly as he whispered that you were ok. Sudden heat warmed your side as Steve leaned his head against your shoulder as he intertwined his fingers with yours while your body trembled against them. 

This had been a long time coming and you allowed the pain to wash over you till you fell asleep in their arms. 

***

This time when you opened your eyes, you were bundled up in a blanket with your head still against Eddie’s chest with one hand comfortingly rubbing your arm while the other held a book he was reading. 

“What are you reading?”

Tilting his head, his gentle eyes take you in as he grins and closes the book to show you the cover. 

The Vampire Lestat.

“I love vampires but Steve likes werewolves. Should have known he’d break my heart one day.”, he teased as the other boy comes around and places a soda with more food on the coffee table in front of you. 

“They are big dog like animals. How can you not like them? Y/N, I want you to at least eat a little bit of this, ok? You need to refuel.”

Not wanting to leave the metalheads comfortable embrace, you whine as you sit up until the smell of the pasta hits your nostrils and you realize how hungry you actually are. 

“Slow! Goodness.”, Steve chuckles as he takes a seat on floor after serving his partner and himself as well. 

“It’s been so long since I’ve had a home cooked meal. Usually, I’m eating microwaved food or something I pick up on the way to and from work. This is delicious, Steve, thank you.”

The three of you casually talk allowing you to really get to the know the men you had been living with. Eddie loved music and had been playing guitar since he was a little boy. He and his uncle had been fixing up cars since he moved in with him after his father went to jail. Steve learned in high school he enjoyed helping people and after he graduated he went to nursing school. 

“My dad gave me shit because I’m ‘settling’ and not becoming a doctor. I like what I do though. As a nurse I get more one on one with patients and make them feel cared for which as you noticed is hard in today’s society. Doctors seem to care more about the money and not the person.”

His eyes drink in your demeanor as you smile, agreeing with his words. Your entire energy seemed different since the first time they met you. You seemed to be relaxing a bit more and some of what he assumed was your normal personality began to shine through. 

“What about you, honey? Eddie told me you’re a photographer.”

Silently, you unraveled the blanket you had been tangled in and bounced to your bedroom, returning with some photos that you placed on the coffee table in front of them. 

“This man here proposed to this girlfriend by painting a mural on the side of an abandoned building that the city was going to tear down. The mayor called it graffiti and they tried arresting him for it.”

“Oh, wow. That’s gorgeous. I hope this guy is making a ton of money in like New York or something.”, the longhaired boy grins.

“This young lady saved her baby brother from a fire.”

“This are amazing, Y/N. You are extremely talented. “

 “What was this story about?”, Steve asked as he held up a photo of an older woman smiling on the couch by a window watching the rain. 

“That’s my grandma.”, you softly smile as you take it from his hands. “This was about a year before she… I remember we were talking about some trivial stuff and suddenly she turned to me and said ‘Life is beautiful. Even something as small as listening to the rain is never something you should take for granted.’”

“I like that.”, Eddie responded with a tender tone that made you feel safe. “She was right. I know it’s hard with all the bullshit going on in the world but… I think we do need to stop and take a look around, you know?”

“Y/N, honey, we hope you know that you don’t have to do everything yourself. We can help you. We have some money in savings if you need to take a break and—”

“No. No, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking, we’re offering.”, Steve insisted. “At least, quit your second job. You need a moment to breathe. We can help with any extra bills you may have until you really get back on your feet.”

Tilting forward, you kissed his cheek before leaning towards Eddie to do the same. 

“Thank you…so much…”

################

Over the next week, you felt more motivated to do things you hadn’t wanted to do over the past 8 months. You did what Steve suggested and quit your job at the mall. You began moving around and leaving the apartment for fun things instead of work. You accompanied the boys to a movie at the theater and took them to the lake where you basked in the sunlight all day. 

You took the time to eat healthier, home cooked meals even offering to make your roommates a meal every now and again. Sometimes when you knew Steve would be out all night, you left some leftovers in the refrigerator and wake up the next morning with a note on the counter thanking you with a big smiley face.

One morning, however, you were surprised with something different. When you opened your bedroom door to get some coffee, you noticed a box with a big red bow on the top and a piece of paper attached to the side. 

“Y/N,

There’s no bottom to the box so all you need to do is lift. I was afraid if we put this in an actual box it may break. Steve said it would be ok but I reminded him he fixes people not objects : ). 

Eddie’s been working on this for a while but we thought after how well you’ve been doing, we just wanted to show you how proud we are of you and how much we’ve enjoyed having you in our lives.

Eddie & Steve”

Carefully lifting the wrapped box and placing it aside, you picked up the glass you had dropped and Eddie had tried to fix. The blank material now had an image of your grandmother you had showed them illustrated on to it with her head turned towards the window. Instead of watching the rain, when she looked out the window there was a detailed drawing of you grinning with your fingers tangled in your hair as you were moving it behind your ear.

He had painted it with light colors, giving her an angelic glow that broke you as you began to cry.

Your feet scooted against the floor as you hurried towards their door and knocked on it a bit too enthusiastically causing it to fly open with a panicked look on the metalhead’s half asleep face. 

“What!? What’s going on? Where’s the fire?!”

You tackled your arms around his neck, not even realizing he was only in boxers. From the bed, Steve saw what was in your hand, smirking as he fell back against the pillow and slung his arm over his eyes.

“Thank you for this. You have no idea how much this means to me.”, you whispered. 

When he finally realized nothing was wrong, his arms settled around your waist.

“I know what it’s like to lose someone you love. You’re not alone, Y/N. You don’t have to carry it all by yourself, ok?” As you pull away and let him go, his hands cup your face as he dries your tears. “Now go back to bed, you fucking weirdo. It’s too early.”, he teases as he lightly pushes you away making you giggle as he turns back around and crawls into bed.

“May I—”

Before you can finish your sentence, he lifts up the covers and Steve pats the mattress between them. Once you climb in, the pretty boy lifts his arm and circles it around you to tug you closer to his side. When your head rests on his bare chest, your surprised at how warm and comfortable he feels against you, looping your arm around him as you nuzzle into his skin. Another set of arms wrap around your waist pressing you against Eddie’s equally comforting frame. 

His steady breath hitting your shoulder mixed with the other man’s heartbeat lulls you into the heaviest sleep you hadn’t experienced in a long time. 

#############

Steddie Asks

[gutterfuuck]

i’ve been fiendingggg for some more perv incel mark with a perv reader hehehe 🙈🙈🙈

-🎀

idea was copied over from one of my drafts!! it just fit the ask so well!! also hello bowtiful anon! i hope you are very well!!

cw: mdni, mutual masturbation(?), i wasn’t sure how to tag this, the ask is basically the premise haha, this one is quite short again, so sorry!! i am a dark blog so bare in mind before reading or clicking on other works!!

you’d be home soon, he knew it. that’s why he’s been jerking off on your bed since he got the text telling him to set the movie up before you got back. mark hasn’t even put the disc in the dvd player, he was too busy taking in your scent and rubbing his cock on your pillows…

he’d felt something hard under the blankets as he shifted his knees, curiosity getting the better of him, pulling back the sheet and grabbing hold of the object. ah. a vibrator, a wand… he couldn’t believe you were one of those girls; sitting up at night and grinding your clit into the vibrating head of the pretty pink wand, trying to keep your moans silent. mark groaned as he imagined how you’d moan out his name, his thumb looking for the on switch, watching as it started shaking to life.

fuck, you’d had this on your cunt. he bought it up to his mouth, tongue lolling out to lick it, thankful that you’d forgotten about it under the covers so he could still taste you on the toy. it didn’t take long for him to inch it closer and closer to his dick, hips jumping away at the sensation… gosh, he was so sensitive. mark couldn’t hold the vibrator on his cockhead for longer than a second before he felt like his body was going to burn, warm tears brimming in the corner of his eyes as he tried harder and harder to keep it in one place.

because of the combination of the semi-loud vrrrrrrrr-ing of your vibrator and being lost in his own thought, mark hadn’t heard your bedroom door creak open as you took in the sight in front of you. “uh-hhn-“ mark sighed, eyes closed tightly as he focused on how your vibrator was about to bring him to an orgasm. so, so lost in his own pleasure, he hadn’t even seen you enter nor keep your eyes on his shaking body, desperate pink tip leaking pre onto your vibrator. “c-cum..min’- ah— y/n—“ he cries, stomach tightening before you make your presence known.

“yes?” you answer, making mark turn his head to face you, embarrassment taking him over before a wave of pleasure swept him off of his feet, too drunk on the pleasure to realise the gravity of the situation. “s’sorry—‘m sorr- oh, fh-fuuuuckk-..!” he babbled as he shot his load all over your bed, dirtying your pillows and blankets. mark let go of the vibrator limply, tilting his head up to look at you with a guilty plea in his eyes. you’d caught him a few times doing things like this, this was just how friends would hang out sometimes. not a big deal. maybe mark wanted to hang around you all day and sleep in your bed and snoop through your things so he can cum all over your newly washed sheets, some friends are closer than others.

“l-let me— ah, explain,” mark stuttered, thighs twitching as he looked at the mess he’d just made. god, he was so dirty. couldn’t believe he’d done this to you, once again. he couldn’t help it! it was like a drug, he just couldn’t help but keep coming back to you!! you shake your head, smiling at him as if you hadn’t just watched him cum all over himself and your stuff and sounding like a fucking pornstar. “d’you want me to show you how girls cum, mark?” you ask innocently, smile widening as you watched his stare at you blankly through thick framed glasses, familiar glistening crimson trickling down from his nostrils as his cock twitched back to life. god you were killing him. you always pulled some shit like this, he wondered why you didn’t just date him already!! he couldn’t make the first move, he was too shy!! he’d think about that on a different day, opening his mouth to breathe out a quiet, “fuck yes, please.”

before you know it, mark’s tip is pressed against your clit, the warmth from your pussy making it hard for mark to keep his composure, he wanted it in, it wasn’t fair! you slide your vibratior between both of your crotches, looking up at mark for a second, taking off his stupid little glasses so they wouldn’t fall off and inevitably hit you in the face while you were under him. when you’d placed them on your desk gently, you flicked the switch of your vibrator, tummy concaving a little at the feel of the vibration on your sensitive bud.

mark looked gorgeous, his lip pulled between his teeth harshly, eyes half lidded with cheeks glowing red, trying to stop himself from collapsing on top of you. so, so, so sensitive. typical mark. you tutted, pressing the switch further as you mewled with the sudden increased speed, watching as mark’s mouth hung open on a guttural moan, pulling his hips away as he panted with short breaths, resting his head next to yours, “t’much, please, it’s too m-much..-“ he whimpered, avoiding the vibrator every time you tried to press it on his dick. you pouted, looking up at him with big doe eyes, “one more, for me? c’mon, then we can watch the movie, i haven’t even cum yet..!” you teased, scanning his face as you felt pre drip onto your tummy.

“fine..” he says eventually, avoiding your gaze, pressing his hips into yours so he can grind against the vibrating sensations between you both, trying to stop himself from letting tears roll down his cheeks as he worked himself into overstimulation, just for you.

[danosrosegarden]

edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer edward shimmer e

on occasion - edward nashton x gn!reader headcanons

elijah's anniversary celebration: post one!

✨ shimmer prompt: give me a character, and i will write a piece on how they would handle having a crush. ✨

{contains: edward being flustered and obsessive, general fluffy butterfly feelings!}

note: i am so sorry it took me so long to get to these. you can expect quite a few pieces to be published in the coming days! thank you for reading and supporting my work. xoxo, eli <3

♡ It would all be far simpler if Edward had the ability to admire in moderation. If only he could offer you the smallest speck of his heart, the littlest share of his love. That was just his problem. Edward Nashton did not love, but when he did, moderation was not possible. He loved all-encompassingly, with wide, sparkling eyes full of hope and a wildly skipping heart doused in desperate desire. There was nothing he could do to shake you from his thoughts. He simply wasn't able to rip you away from his brain.

♡ You didn't even do anything special; you just lived your life. But that was enough. Your pure, unfiltered existence was enough to have him entranced. Ever since you moved into his complex, he spent his days going crazy, waiting by his cellphone for a text or call. Hey, Ed, I'm off work! Wanna hang out? Hey, Edward, I'm going to the store! Want me to pick a treat up for you at the bakery section? God, you were so thoughtful. So caring. So funny and witty and so irresistibly you. Everything about you had him begging for scraps. Any piece of your backstory or future goals only fueled the crackling fire burning in his soul.

♡ Edward recognizes that the enormity of his longing could be perceived as overbearing or creepy. That's the last thing he would want, to scare you away. He can barely survive each day in his skin as is; he couldn't live with himself if he made you uncomfortable. So he does what he can to hold back. He declines your invitations to hang out sometimes so as to not seem clingy. He leaves you on delivered for a little while, even though he's practically glued to his phone, the intense, monstrous ghoul of FOMO looming over his shoulder.

♡ Even still, his crush is pretty pathetically obvious. He laughs hard and loud each time you tell a stupid joke. He blushes deeply when you compliment him, and his anxious finger-fiddling and lip biting isn't lost on you.

♡ Crystal clear, grade A anxiety. That's how he deals with a crush. He feels a rush of wildflowers bloom colorfully and brightly in his heart each time your name appears on his phone or he sees you in the complex's hallway. His stomach churns and his palms get clammy and goodness, he feels like an awkwardly love-drunk adolescent when he sees you: your glittering, smiling eyes, the way you walk and talk and smile at him...it all swirls around through his body like a whipping windstorm.

♡ He doesn't have the option of not overthinking every interaction, either. Did I say the right thing? Did I act the right way? Was I...cool? Jesus, he really did sound like a teenager, not a grown, mature man in his thirties with a real adult job and real adult responsibilities.

♡ The occasional high of courage shoots through him. He'll occasionally initiate a hang out session. He'll occasionally drop off a gift, maybe a baked pastry or a little trinket he found at the thrift that made him think of you. He'll occasionally write letters and practice speeches confessing his feelings towards you, and he'll occasionally rip the papers up and cringe into his pillow at the quivering in his voice.

♡ Maybe Edward doesn't know what to do with these monstrous feelings of adoration now, but it'll come to the tipping point where he can't bear the feeling of those blooming flowers in his heart anymore. They will outgrow their cage eventually, and he can only pray that you'll accept them and tend to them with him.

[junglejim4322]

🔥diasporic asian artists

Hmmmm. For artists specifically, especially people who’ve never been from or to the country they’ve originated from I see a lot of idealization and romanticization that kind of shows they don’t understand the reality there at all. “My phantom limb I’ll return back to one day and feel at home” despite growing up in a middle class western country and barely being able to survive when faced with an inconvenience etc.

I do understand it, facing alienation and racism where you grow up makes it easy to view a place you have hundreds or thousands of years worth of lineage and are culturally tied to as a perfect utopian escape you’ll go to one day. However I have known so many people who did that expecting to be embraced and live some perfect life and were disillusioned beyond belief. The difference between me (I have never been to india or pakistan) and my parents view (who were not raised there but spent extensive periods of time there/lived there at times) are so different despite them being so proud of their heritage and loving the area. Neither had a utopian view of it as an escape we were torn from, in fact both understood we live in America because of having more social and financial means as a whole. I think there’s a balance to loving your culture and where you have ties to and thinking it’s a beautiful wonderland you can return to and never experience hardship again and everyone will rejoice the second you cross the border and say we love u Asian American, you’re home!

My secondary opinion is that some people (this is from a very south Asian perspective cannot speak on anything else) in their diasporic art romanticize or justify cultural things that they’ll likely never have to deal with themselves such as arranged marriage and whatnot. Or even things that are extremely toxic and should not be justified like being unable to show affection, hitting their children, etc. there’s a lot of art that shows it in a “different” yet “beautiful” light aka a different means of expressing yourself that people don’t understand or dismiss because it’s a cultural practice different from them, as opposed to abuse, neglect, etc. but they peeled fruit for you once so that makes up for everything and is a beautiful part of our culture obvs!

My very last point is that cultural appropriation as expressed in art or politics is very often a useless hill to die on and lacking in nuance in about 5000 billion different ways. Though I don’t think it’s a focal point anymore. Anyway thanks to everyone who read this unexpected manifesto these might be some of my only ACTUALLY unpopular opinions so there you go

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

[rosicheeks]

12 days

[puppyeared]

man

[running-in-the-dark]

it's been a month since we moved into the new apartment -

I'm so stressed. everything is stressful. we're still not done building the kitchen but it's getting there (slowly). mostly we just need to wait until we get a couple parts that weren't in stock when we ordered the rest. I'm hoping it'll be done by next weekend.

some of it is very frustrating with my brain specifically. I'm so bothered by all the tiny little things that no one else would even notice - like, some of the handles on the drawers are very slightly crooked (as in, less than a millimeter higher on one side) - but for me it's so obvious that it's impossible to ignore. my husband didn't even know what I meant when I pointed it out to him. there's also been a few slightly bigger issues, but we've solved them now (I think).

my eye has been twitching for like three to four weeks. not all the time obviously, but every few minutes. it's very, very annoying.

we still have no new info about when we'll have internet finally. it could take a while still.

on Monday a guy has to replace something in the electric roller shutters in one room - but we don't know which one yet. so either I'll have to let him into my room (awful, uncomfortable, will have to tidy up tomorrow so he could even get to the window), or I'll have to get both our cats into their carrier if it's the one in my husband's room (awful, difficult, one of them doesn't like that so he'll be scared and I'll feel bad).

also on Monday the electrician will install our stove (if he has time). then we're getting two ikea deliveries. and I've got an appointment with my (new) GP because I need a prescription, and I'm very (verrry) nervous about it.

I miss watching TV. I miss tumblr and YouTube and messaging my friends whenever I want and sending them photos all the time. I miss order and structure and (some level of) routine. I miss using real cutlery (we still haven't found ours lol).

when I was finally starting to get used to the noises in this place, the family above us moved in with their baby that cries all the time very very loudly and most of the time right above my room. so now everything is different again and I'm not adjusting well and once again I can't sleep.

but, I've listened to 14 audiobooks since we moved! that's been nice. it was the same way when we moved the last time (just over a year ago..). my favourite by far was The Thursday Murder Club. I've got the other ones in the series but I'm trying not to listen to them too quickly, so I'm gonna listen to three other books first (one is done already, so I should get there on Monday or Tuesday hopefully).

[bunnihearted]

🐰🩹🧸🏨

[cosmicdreamgrl]

.

[house-in-the-backyard-trees]

I miss when I could just not go to school and no one would care now I'm an adult and I have responsibilities and people "rely" on me and they "need me at work"

[gideonisms]

burnout is supposed to end at some point, I have read this. However, how do you know when it has ended and you should gradually force yourself through more activities to get used to living a life again, and when doing that will send you Directly back to an even worse ring of hell. Is there like a guidebook or

[heartbreakfeelsogood]

[todayisafridaynight]

dont look at me with hope im being delusional again but if i were to have an art stream on like. june 14th what'd be the best time for you lot.

[voiceshearingyouloud]

Me when my life is trauma and mental illness all the way down but I am determined to make something good of it in the end

[mrfoox]

The fact I refuse to confront/inform the people who have basically ruined my mental state and my ability to function bc that would make them feel bad is honestly bonkers