#I can only view this song as being in love while also being heartbroken at the same time

[kosmicfeelings]

“I’m sorry, but I fell in love tonight. I didn’t mean to fall in love tonight. You’re looking like you fell in love tonight. Can we pretend we’re in love?”

Is There Somewhere; Halsey

[redshoes-blues]

The Heroes Theory

The key to understanding Stranger Things lies within a single song.

Buckle up, folks — this is very long. But I hope you enjoy your read! :)

This is my argument that the entire concept of Stranger Things, from the messages to the themes to the characters and relationships, can be summarized within one core motif that weaves through every season. Here I’ll be looking into the subtext and metaphors at play in Stranger Things as a whole, using Heroes to help show why requited Byler is the most sensible outcome from a writing perspective.

When I refer to the “Heroes Theory,” I want to be clear that this theory includes more than just the song for which my theory is named. Of course, Heroes itself is the foundation of the theory, but it extends far beyond that. This includes character arcs, dialogues, plots, and themes.

Let’s start with a bit of background on Heroes itself, its context, and what it can tell us about Stranger Things.

[CW: I briefly discuss the depiction of MH issues on the show, as well as various forms of oppression like homophobia, classism, and racism]

Background to Heroes

Heroes is an original song written by David Bowie, released in 1977. At the time, Bowie was living in Berlin after a long run of tours while battling addiction. It was a time of creative exploration and innovation for him. Keep in mind, this is all taking place in the midst of the Cold War, which is also the historical backdrop to Stranger Things.

Bowie has explained that he was first inspired to write Heroes after seeing a couple kissing next to the Berlin Wall. The couple were having an affair, and combined with the context of their affair happening next to the Berlin Wall, the scene he saw was one of forbidden love. So Bowie wrote the song describing a moment of defiance when the couple decided to forget about society’s judgement and shame, choosing to live as heroes in a moment of passion.

For the sake of our discussion, the following lines form Heroes are the most important. This is around the bridge of the song, at the point when the forbidden couple finally overcome their feelings of shame and their fear, choosing to embrace their passionate feelings instead:

I, I can remember (I remember)

Standing, by the wall (by the wall)

And the guns, shot above our heads (over our heads)

And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall)

And the shame, was on the other side

Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day

And not only is Heroes a song about forbidden love in the face of violent repercussions, Bowie himself was a revolutionary figure for queer folks in the 70s and beyond. From his identity as a bisexual man, his androgynous clothing style, and full of acceptance of queer people when we were ostracized by most.

For these reasons, his role in Stranger Things is an important one given the themes of conformity and being an outsider that the show highlights (along with its queer characters). Now, put on some Bowie, and let’s discuss!

Heroes in Stranger Things

At this point you might be like: “okay cool, but what on earth does this have to do with Byler and Stranger Things?” I hear you! Let’s look at how Heroes is used in the show.

Heroes plays twice in Stranger Things. However, what plays is a more somber cover by Peter Gabriel. Both times it’s used during emotional scenes.

In my view, the song has come to represent two important themes: 1. resurrection and 2. conformity vs. acceptance/love.

Season One: Will’s Body

The first time Heroes plays is during S1, when Will’s “body” is discovered in the quarry. It plays as Mike goes home, and while Jonathan and Joyce hug in a shot which mirrors Mike and Karen back at the Wheelers house.

This scene expresses two things. 1. For Mike, he is told his best friend is dead. He watches as his body leaves the water. He’s heartbroken. 2. For Joyce, who doesn’t yet know about Will’s “body,” she has spent the day communicating to Will in the lights. She’s terrified, but hopeful.

As viewers, we see both sides. We see Will’s “death,” but we also saw Joyce communicating with who we suspect is Will. In this way, Heroes plays over a scene symbolizing both death and resurrection. By resurrection, I mean the fact that Will was believed to be dead, but he turns up alive.

While the cover of Heroes plays during this pivotal moment of hope and heartbreak, it’s quite telling what we’re shown on screen when certain lines are played:

What I consider to be the most romantic and thematically queer lyrics in the entire song play during the point when Mike runs into Karen’s arms after learning Will is “dead.”

And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall)

And the shame, was on the other side

Here, the symbolism of “other side” is important given the context of the show. For Bowie, “other side” meant the East Berlin at the other side of the wall. The wall itself had violent repercussions (represented in this line by “the shame”) for attempting to cross it. In the context of Mike, “the shame” could represent his internalized homophobia and the confusing feelings of losing a best friend who he doesn’t realize he has romantic feelings for.

In Stranger Things, the “other side” could obviously represent the Upside Down. Especially given that we know Will is in the Upside Down at this point in the show, facing violence. But in this scene, it could also represent death as the other side of life. I think it’s interesting that the Upside Down consistently has imagery of death and decay, given that it’s the very opposite of the warmth we often associate with Hawkins.

Although Heroes itself isn’t a song explicitly about queer love, it is thematically queer. By this, I mean that the subject matter of the song is lauded in queer subtext and imagery.

This is all taking place during the 1980s. A time that was profoundly homophobic and opposed to anyone remotely different to the societal standards. We’re also located in a small town in Indiana and have canonically homophobic characters. The theme of shame over being who you are vs. learning to accept yourself anyways is crucial throughout the entire show.

I don’t think Will or Mike were aware of their romantic feelings for each other during S1, rather, the use of Heroes during S1 serves as foreshadowing for the future of their relationship, and sets up the theme of resurrection.

Could the placement of the Heroes lyrics be a coincidence? Sure, anything could be. Even so, the writing and production team chose to use a romantic song about forbidden love (written by a bisexual rockstar and queer icon) for this scene. In a series where every song serves an explicit lyrical purpose, these things aren’t accidental.

Especially when the song is used more than once.

Season Three: Hopper’s “Death”

The second time the Heroes cover is played is during S3. It’s the final scene of the season. The song begins to play as El finishes reading Hop’s letter. Then it continues as Joyce takes one last look around the Byers’ house before leaving for California.

This time, the lines “and we kissed, as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall). And the shame, was on the other side,” are not included. None of the lyrics line up with Mike or Will. This time, the song is hinting at the theme I spoke of above: resurrection.

All of our characters and the audience are supposed to believe Hopper is dead at this point in the story. Of course, we now know the truth. Just as Will was believed to be dead the last time Heroes played, the song once again signals this isn’t the case. Hopper isn’t really dead. There’s hope. New life and love will blossom again in S4.

Moving Beyond Season Three

Originally, I theorized [here, here] that Will would fall under Vecna’s curse in S4 vol. 2, and Heroes would be the song to save him. Only this time, it would be Bowie’s original version of the song. I was obviously wrong . . . but I wouldn’t be surprised if Heroes pops up again in S5 with the context of Will (and especially his relationship with Mike). Rising above self-hatred. Living life to the fullest, refusing to let fear stand in the way of pursuing the love you feel inside.

“Being a freak is the best, alright?”

The times Heroes plays in Stranger Things aren’t the only times Bowie is referenced. I do think if the song plays for a Byler scene, it’ll be the original version that plays. I go into this in more detail in another post [here], but for a bit more context, let’s take a look at one of my favourite moments: Jonathan and Will’s conversation about shame and being a “freak.”

Jonathan: You know what? You’re right. You are a freak. But what, do you want to be normal? Do you wanna be just like everyone else? Being a freak is the best, alright? I’m a freak . . . Who would you rather be friends with: Bowie or Kenny Rogers?

Will: Ugh.

Jonathan: Exactly. It’s no contest. The thing is, nobody normal ever accomplished anything meaningful in this world.

One of the core themes of Stranger Things is accepting what makes us different. Our differences are our strengths, and the writers of Stranger Things want their characters (and us) to understand that. Jonathan’s line: “nobody normal ever accomplished anything meaningful in this world” is particularly important. 

Our characters aren’t the typical heroes of 1980s films and movies. They aren’t popular. They have nerdy interests and aren’t ashamed of it. For the most part, our core characters own the things that others judge about them. And when they don’t, part of their character arc is about learning to accept their true selves.

Jonathan uses Bowie as an example for the outsider figure that represents not only Will and himself, but every other character we’ve come to love. Even Steve, reformed stereotypical 80s jock, is no longer bound to the pressures of the larger society.

But in the context of Will, his comparison to Bowie is another way of queer coding a character who we know is canonically gay and in love with his best friend Mike. Bowie is a “freak” because he’s unique and an outsider, but also because he’s queer — and in 1980s small town Indiana, at the height of the AIDS crisis, being gay was just about as “freaky” as you could get.

To demonstrate this core idea of embracing your inner freak and finding a found family who loves you despite your “outsider” status, the entirety of our main cast have experiences which turn them into outsiders in the eyes of larger Hawkins.

To list a few: Joyce is divorced, working class, and a single mother who has “conspiracies” that many shame her for, Jonathan is bullied for being working class, Will is gay and bullied by homophobes; Lucas is Black and targeted by racists (Troy, Billy, Jason); Max has stereotypically “boyish” interests, is from an abusive working class home, and has mental health issues; El has superpowers, lacks assumed social cues, and is neurodivergent coded; Dustin has a rare genetic condition which he is bullied for; Robin is a lesbian and worries about becoming a “social pariah”; and Mike . . . is a gamer?

Alright, I know Mike is also bullied for being a nerd and is called “frog face,” but other than his status as a geeky kid, is Mike really any different than what Hawkins expects of a boy his age? He’s upper middle-class, has great friends, is smart, and even has a girlfriend. So why is it that the least-outsider of our outsiders is seen as our leader, and the eyes of the audience?

Mike Wheeler is the Audience’s Eyes

Given that, in my view, Byler is the only sensible outcome for Stranger Things because of its themes, character arcs, queer references, costuming, staging choices, etc. etc., I don’t believe the Mike we see is the real Mike Wheeler. We only see the real Mike in brief glimpses. Here’s why.

Mike is the central POV character for seasons 1 and 2 of Stranger Things.

In another breakdown [here] I analyzed Mike as the central POV character in S1 and S2. But let’s stick with this idea that Mike is the main member of the party who we learn alongside during S1. For example, during the Will’s “body” scene discussed above, it’s Mike’s reactions that the camera pans to. We see Mike crying and reacting to his best friend dying, we follow him home, and learn about Will’s “death” with him.

In S2, we have other establishing shots where the camera lingers on Mike longer than the other party members. When Will is taken to Dr. Owens, for example, the camera focuses on Mike and we hear his thoughts. Mike finds Will having an episode in the field, which is also when we discover his episode. Mike spends the entirety of S2 with Will, including the climax of Will’s exorcism where Mike plays a pivotal role.

Why Mike? For the original audience demographic, which was probably expected to be nerdy teenage boys/adults, our “eyes” in the show are placed onto a character who a wide variety of people can relate to. He’s the loyal ‘til death, heroic friend, nerdy boy, bullied, but not for any perceivable differences. And this is mid-2010s media we’re talking about, so of course the protagonist character is going to be a white boy.

What the hell happened in seasons 3 and 4?

Mike seems to vanish as our primary POV character after S2. Multiple POVs come into focus, and El becomes our main character over Mike. I think Will’s writing in S3 and S4 is a bit of a mess at times, but aside from S2, his screen time was never as much as Mike’s. The reduction of Mike’s importance, and the strange turn his character takes in S3 is telling. I think the Duffer brothers deliberately reduced Mike’s role as our “eyes” in the show during S3 because this is when his queer awakening begins to take place, and we aren’t supposed to know yet.

Mike Wheeler, I Know What You Are

And you sure as hell ain’t straight!

This isn’t an Em-tries-to-convince-you-unbelievers-Mike-is-queer theory. I’ll leave that up to the pros! Instead, I want to tell you why Byler endgame makes the most sense thematically within the context of a story that is at its heart about freaks and outsiders and found family and refusing to conform.

Mike Wheeler has Internalized Homophobia

“What’s internalized homophobia?” it’s a real nasty piece of work, that’s for sure.

Basically, it’s the idea that as queer people grow up in a heteronormative society which perpetuates shame and hatred towards queer people, we will internalize that shame and hatred, pitting it against our own sexuality. It’s a very common experience for queer people, especially in less-accepting generations, and Mike’s strange behaviour from S3 onwards could easily be explained by his own feelings of internalized homophobia, including his relationship with El.

Mike and Will have the potential to be the classic childhood friends to lovers storyline, only this time it’s between two boys instead of a boy and girl. We all know how much the Duffers love to subvert expectations.

Only their storyline is more complicated by the internalized shame each boy harbours towards himself. We’ve canonically been shown Will’s internalized homophobia, starting from S2 when he worries about being seen as a “freak.” Growing up and having his father call him homophobic slurs, being bullied for being gay, and living in the midst of the AIDS crisis when gay men were scapegoated and treated abhorrently by a moral majority — all are prime reasons for the shame he feels towards himself. S4 only emphasizes this with Will feeling like he’s a “mistake” for being different.

But Stranger Things doesn’t want its viewers or characters to feel this shame. They want us to find a family who loves and accepts us. They want us to accept our differences and love the things that make us “outsiders.” 

That’s the whole point of the show. That’s why the homophobes, racists, and bullies are consistently fought against: because what they say isn’t right or true, even though it was popular opinion at the time.

In the case of Mike, the way he pulls away from Will in S3 and S4 could be explained with the shame he feels for his own queerness. A lot of people think Mike has turned into an asshole. A shitty friend. He’s so drastically different from how he was in S2, and there’s no real reason for this change. Unless the reason is an internal one that we haven’t been shown yet.

The Rain Scene

The rain scene has been analyzed a thousand times. From the parallel to the Milk Ban fight where Milk Ban is played for laughs and Byler is meant to be devastating, to colour analysis, film references, and more. This scene haunts me. Seriously, they did that.

Mike obviously isn’t homophobic. We’ve seen him defend Will from homophobic bullying in S1. But he does have a hell of a lot of internalized homophobia, and oh boy is he ever projecting during the infamous fight scene.

His attack on Will (which is really projection of his own feelings onto the boy he fancies) is twofold: 1. internalized homophobia combined with 2. Mike’s idea that growing up means conforming to heteronormativity.

But this scene isn’t from Mike’s POV. It’s from Will’s. We’re meant to see Mike as an asshole. We’re meant to empathize with Will as he destroys Castle Byers: a symbol of his childhood and heteronormativity [more here].

Mike: “I’m not trying to be a jerk, okay? But we’re not kids anymore. I mean what did you think, really, that we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”

Will: “Yeah, I guess I did. I really did.”

This isn’t just Mike being mad at Will for “refusing to grow up” or whatever. He’s specifically calling out Will’s critique of Mike having a girlfriend. At this point Will is fully aware he’s gay and has feelings for Mike. Mike is very much in denial. For Mike, growing up means getting a girlfriend and following the lifestyle his parents outlined for him. He denies any other feelings he may have and instead takes out his self-hatred on Will.

It’s important to note that his parents are also Reagan supporters (Reagan was a homophobe who spread moral panic over gay and bisexual men during the AIDS crisis) and unhappily married. He has no representation of loving romantic relationships in his house, and no positive representation to compare his feelings to. Let alone any gay feelings he has for his best friend.

When Will destroys Castle Byers, it’s a devastating moment, but also a moment of clarity. Will suspects that Mike knows he’s gay, and as S4 opens, we see early signs of Will beginning to embrace his queerness: from the Boys Don’t Cry poster to the painting for Mike to the way he questions Mike’s behaviour towards El, and their relationship as a whole. He even talks to Jonathan about how he’s feeling.

But Mike is still in denial. Because he is no longer a POV character from S3 and S4 until the couch scene [more here], we don’t see his thoughts. In my view, he realizes his gay feelings are for Will at the end of S3, after his closet kiss with El, when Will puts his D&D set in the box. This is why he pulls away from Will again, even though they seemingly made up by the end of the season. It was too much for Mike’s internalized homophobia.

Mike’s scenes with Will in S4 are all from Will’s POV, (again, except for the couch scene and a couple minor moments). Mostly when he’s looking longingly at Will as Will digs a grave, which is awfully interesting because we have no need to see Mike look at Will that way unless Mike has feelings for Will. I see what you’re up to, Duffers and Michael Wheeler.

All this said, if Byler isn’t canon, then the following premise must be correct: Will Byers, a traumatized boy who was bullied for being gay and feels like a mistake for the feelings he has for Mike — a boy who has stood up to his fears and faced violence because of it — will not find love at the end of the series.

Keep in mind that the Duffer brothers haven’t only written Will as a gay character. They’ve explicitly written him as a gay character in love with his best friend Mike Wheeler. He’s shown no other interest in romance aside from Mike. His feelings remain unresolved at the end of S4. There are no other love interests for Will Byers. We only have one season, 8 episodes long, and the Duffer brothers have said they aren’t adding any new characters.

There’s no time to set up a love interest. There would be no tension, and it would be bad writing. For two writers who planned ideas about the Upside Down that we’re only just now discovering in S4 & S5, I have more faith in them than that. Mike is the only possible love interest for Will. And in a series which wants to pair up all/most of its main characters, why the hell would the traumatized gay boy end up alone?

Well, I’m here to tell you that the themes of Stranger Things back up Will having a happy ending. In fact, Byler endgame is what we’ve been building towards since the very first episode of S1.

Forced Conformity is Killing the Kids

When Eddie said the infamous line in S4, I was like, oh yeah they’re going for it.

Eddie: “It’s forced conformity. That’s what’s killing the kids.”

It’s just so on the nose. It’s the entire message of the show summarized in one line. The way to survive is to accept yourself for all that you are, and to find other who accept you as well. This is exactly what Jonathan said to Will, way back in S2 about how “being a freak is the best!” (ILY Jonathan Byers, best sibling and ally in the whole show <3)

The kids who are targeted by Vecna are traumatized and do not fit into the societal mold, despite their attempts to. Chrissy has mental health issues stemming from an abusive mother and feels pressure to change her body to appease her; Fred has immense survivor’s guilt and is a nerdy outsider; and even though Patrick is popular, it’s implied he lived in an abusive household. As for Max, she’s an outsider for many reasons that I’ve gone over.

Each of Vecna’s targets attempts hide their trauma in order to fit into their expected roles. In their own ways, they are conforming. As Eddie, ever the non-conformist, says: “it’s forced conformity. That’s what’s killing the kids.”

And I think he’s right.

I’ve discussed a lot of the ways the characters don’t fit into typical 1980s society and how the point is for us to empathize with these outsiders and freaks. There’s a reason why seeking popularity is seen as a negative choice (for better or worse), and why accepting your weirdness and refusing to hide yourself is held in high regard.

Vecna’s Victims Attempt to Conform

In fact, we could even argue that Vecna’s victims are targeted because they conform. In a way, it becomes a narrative punishment. Conforming = bad. Characters who conform/hide = targets. Take Max, for example. Max attempts to hide her trauma and depression by pushing away her friends. She’s able to overcome these inner battles and finally comes clean to Lucas and the rest of the party by the end of the season, revealing the parts of herself she attempted to hide.

Similarly, we see the way Will’s attempts to conform put a weight on him, and especially on his relationships. The end of S4 presents a Will Byers who is beginning to accept himself after coming out to Jonathan, but hours earlier he still felt like a mistake for who he is. He probably still feels that way by the season’s end because of how entrenched in internalized homophobia and shame he has been growing up with Supreme Dick Lonnie Byers as a father.

A Brief Note on Lucas

Since S1, we’ve seen the way racism has impacted Lucas as the sole main Black character in the show. From Troy to Billie to Jason, the way Lucas is bullied by racists in Hawkins is important to take note of. For this reason, it’s understandable that Lucas attempts to prevent his othering by conforming and trying to “fit in” by joining the basketball team. We’re not meant to view this as inherently negative, as is the case for most other attempts at conformity. Rather, we’re meant to understand that Lucas doesn’t want to be ostracized further than he is already.

Other analysts have pointed out more specific analysis of race and racism in Stranger Things that deserve their own conversation outside of this post, but I wanted to bring up Lucas’ experience because he’s: 1. our sole Black protagonist, and 2. an example of conformity which isn’t meant to be inherently bad to viewers. We’re supposed to understand Lucas’ choice as a means of survival. Conformity isn’t inherently evil, but his desire to conform paints a larger picture of Hawkins as a place where anyone who stands out of the dominant society is put at risk because of prejudices in the town. 

What About Mike?

Mike pushes Will away after S2. He spends all his time around El in S3, conforming into the expected role he has grown up around: seeing his parents, unhappily married in a heterosexual relationship. Others have pointed out just how many parallels there are between Mike and Ted throughout the show, from dialogue to his wardrobe, and this certainly isn’t an accident. Realizing his queerness and seeing nothing but homophobia and heteronormativity, Mike feels the need to conform to his parent’s expectations. He sees no other choice, and this is why he projects onto Will — “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”

Even after Mike and Will reconcile at the end of S3, Mike pulls away again when Will moves away. To a smaller extent, Will is certainly at fault. But given his feelings for Mike and the shame he feels, it’s understandable that he tried to keep Mike at a distance. But what excuse would a Straight Mike have?

Mike: “We’re friends, Will. Friends.”

I can practically hear the just in front of his “we’re friends” statement. And to answer my previous question, a happy straight Mike would have no reason to pull away from Will again. He’s not annoyed about Will acting childish — he literally plays D&D (which he called Will childish for playing in S3) while Will does not anymore. Their roles have completely reversed by T4. Will is in the early stages of the self-acceptance we expect from Stranger Things, but Mike is still in denial of his own emotions.

S3 Mike is annoyed at Will for being “childish” and wanting to play D&D, meanwhile S4 Mike only wants to play D&D.

But S4 Mike is beginning to change in small ways.

His wardrobe is influenced by Eddie. He starts to play D&D again. He makes up with Will and this time he seems to mean it, even though their relationship is still strained with everything left unsaid. The couch scene signals a movement back into Mike’s POV. Essentially, S5 will reintroduce us to Mike’s POV, and we’ll begin to understand why he’s been acting so strange since S3. It’s because he loves Will.

El, Friendship, and Found Family

We’ll get back to Heroes and look at the way the song ties up all of the themes I’ve laid out soon enough, but first it’s important to consider El, who is our protagonist from S3 onwards.

One of the largest critiques I see from people who don’t think requited Byler is likely to become canon comes from a segment of people who believe El’s romantic life is a large part of her character arc. I simply disagree with this assessment of her arc, and here’s why!

What about El, what about her love story?

El has a perfectly beautiful love story forming in front of our very eyes. Only for her, it’s the story of a girl who was raised without love or kindness or family, who grows and finds a family for herself. Found family ties into the queer themes in Stranger Things and the idea that all of our main characters are outsiders. It’s the glue that holds the series together. The heart of the show is the love the characters have for each other, platonic and otherwise.

This is one reason why we don’t see endless death of our central characters as is the case in similar shows. That’s because at its core, Stranger Things is about love and acceptance. Sure, there are also monsters and alternate dimensions, but that’s not the core of what holds the story together.

From the first time we meet El in S1, we understand her position. She is deeply traumatized, having grown up in a hostile environment where she was dehumanized and subjected to brutal experiments. Hell, her name is literally a number.

But in S1, she meets Mike.

This is El’s first real and normal connection to any person. Mike treats her like a human being and teaches her about the outside world and the way it works.

In S2, El finds a father in Jim Hopper and learns the ways of a family (and pretends to be Mike’s cousin). She still has her bond to Mike, but the romance isn’t what matters. El is on a journey to discover more about where she came from, including her family and what that says about her powers. At the same time, she’s learning about the outside world and the societal standards that restrict she and her friends.

In S3, El becomes close to Max and realizes that romantic relationships don’t and shouldn’t define her life. There’s more to life than stupid boys! She’s learning about herself and what it means to be a kid and what it means to have a family. She learns to balance her relationships, but she still sees herself as a superhero at the end of the day.

In S4, El has a family. A brother and mother who love her. She struggles with bullying because she’s different from everyone. And again when she goes to get back her powers, she’s on a journey of self-discovery.

For three seasons she’s been treated and believed herself to be the superhero who must save the day. But it didn’t work this time. Max is in a coma and everything is falling to pieces, but she has Hopper and Joyce and Will and everyone who loves her. Her relationship with Mike is turbulent. Even after his monologue, the two of them never discuss their supposed romantic love again. Instead, her relationship with Hopper is prioritized; Mike and Will have their moment on the couch and then everything falls apart again.

Oh yeah. And we get this epic final scene where El stands alone in front of the people who have become her family. Only the six people behind her are arranged in groups of two. And two of those groups are canonical couples who are most likely to be endgame. And then we have Mike and Will. Interesting. 

At the heart of El’s character arc is her growing awareness of the world around her and her found family. After a childhood of neglect, trauma, and dehumanization, she’s being treated like a person. Not only that, but she’s learning to love and be loved by those around her. To say that her romantic relationship is central to her character arc is to ignore the true story that is unfolding in El’s life.

Besides, El wasn’t planned to live past S1. I’m so glad she did because she’s a wonderful character, but romance between El and Mike was never the original end goal for the story.

The Healing Power of Music

I promised we’d get back to Heroes eventually!

To overview: the core theme of Stranger Things is learning to accept your differences and status as an “outsider” in the eyes of larger society; not only accepting, but loving these parts of yourself for which you’re made to feel ashamed. And in this, forging a family of outsiders, underdogs, and freaks who understand you and love you as you are.

In the context of Heroes, I discussed how the song focuses on a forbidden romance wherein the couple overcomes their feelings of shame and fear, choosing to embrace their love, even though it’s frowned upon in the eyes of the outside world. What matters isn’t the view of onlookers, but living and refusing to conform to expectations.

By accepting yourself as you are, you’re being born again. You’re resurrected.

S4 may have showed us the literal saving power of music, but music has always been crucial within the show. Just think of Will singing Should I Stay or Should I Go to keep himself safe and comforted in the Upside Down. The way music is used to forge connections and bonds. The way music is used to highlight being a freak: from Bowie as the icon of freaks to Eddie’s “this is real music” and beyond.

Any song that plays more than once over multiple seasons is bound to be important and lauded in meaning. Will listening to Should I Stay or Should I Go represents his fight or flight response when faced with danger, and his choice to be brave. Max listening to Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) represents her depression and survivor’s guilt; the way she desires to switch places with Billy. When It’s Cold I’d Like to Die plays when Eddie dies, when Sarah dies, and when Will is saved from death.

And as I’ve said already, Heroes has come to represent resurrection. It’s about forging a new life for yourself out of the ashes of trauma and shame. If even for just one day, accept what makes you different, because it’s these differences that make you a hero in the eyes of the show.

So when we get to S5, music will continue to hold its healing power and symbolism, just as it has since S1 when Will first entered the Upside Down and shaped it to his image. I think our final season (which has been said to be similar to S1 in the way the characters are united) will directly parallel S1 in many ways. Including Will’s role. I think he will revisit the Upside Down and confront his trauma and fear as Bob taught him to. 

This being said, I think Heroes will make an appearance again. 

Think of it: it played during S1, S3, and we have S5 left. How perfect would it be for the song to play during a moment of two characters defying all odds, casting aside their shame and guilt, choosing acceptance and love instead. I’m thinking S5 will have a post-apocalyptic feel, with Hawkins abandoned by many, and only our heroes left to save their town. They’ll be surrounded by the violence and decay of a Hawkins morphed with the Upside Down, and larger society’s pressure will cease to matter.

This is life or death. Our characters must be the heroes we’ve always known them to be, or else Vecna will continue to expand and claim innocent lives. And part of this journey is self-acceptance, just as it always has been. Our characters have to accept the things that make them different, otherwise they won’t survive. Conformity is what’s killing the kids. Nobody normal ever made a difference in the world. They have to be Heroes, just for one day.

Dear Underdogs, Outcasts, and Freaks

One of the things I’ve always loved about Stranger Things is the way it subverts expectations and rewrites 1980s nostalgia through a modern lens. If it came out in the 80s, the show would look so different. We certainly wouldn’t have any of the (still very limited) representation the show has today. 

All of this is to say that thematically, the ending which makes most sense is for Mike and Will to end up together. It would defy expectations, yet the clues have been written on the wall since S1. All general audience viewers will have to do is re-watch the show after a requited Byler reveal to see just how many hints have been there all along. They’re already revisiting the show with fresh eyes after Will has been canonically confirmed to be gay (something many Bylers have known since S1). 

The Duffer brothers have even stated in multiple interviews that they aren’t worried about the general audience reception to the series’ end. They know that some people will be angry, but the story they’ve been telling is so much bigger than that. The cast has described the ending as beautiful. What’s more beautiful than revealing you’ve been playing the long-game in what would be one of the most revolutionary representations of queer love in any piece of mainstream media? 

Stranger Things is a love letter to everyone who has ever felt like they don’t belong. To the underdogs, outcasts, and freaks. From a writing and queer representation perspective, it simply makes no sense to have a deeply traumatized gay boy end up alone. There’s a reason Robin is being given a love interest for the final season. The Duffer brothers love happy endings for their outcast characters.

All of these ideas are shown in the song Heroes, which is about choosing love in the face of ostracism and violence. Very much an idea which we see throughout the series. Because at its heart, Stranger Things is a show about finding family and love in a broken world. What would be more perfect than to end the series with Mike and Will finally accepting themselves and overcoming everything they’ve dealt with since November 1983?

Author’s Note

This post has taken me ages to put together, but here we are, at the end!

I recently read the theory behind Flickergate and I find it wholly convincing. It also fits with my theory that Heroes will play a large symbolic role in S5, so I recommend reading that theory or watching the linked visual. 

I’ve also linked some of my own theories throughout this one which give a bit more context to some ideas I have about Stranger Things at large. They’re also linked in my pinned post. 

If you have questions or add-ons for this, please share them, I’d love to know your thoughts!! :)

—Em

[rawiswhore]

Tommy Rogers x Fem Reader- "Email My Heart"

Despite that ECW has been stereotyped as being a wrestling company filled with hardcore matches and blood, not only did ECW have different types of wrestling matches, but also different kinds of wrestlers as well.

Of course there were the hardcore brawlers like Mick Foley, Sandman, Raven and New Jack (Sandman and New Jack weren't even technically wrestlers), but there were also luchador wrestlers like Rey Mysterio, technical wrestlers like Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero, and even some wrestling veterans like Dusty Rhodes, Rick Rude, Tom Prichard, and Terry Funk (the godfather of hardcore wrestling, and I don't mean "godfather" as in the wrestler in the Attitude era who played a pimp with his hoe train following him).

One wrestling veteran who actually was a part of ECW's roster in the late 1990's was Tommy Rogers---the same Tommy Rogers who was in the wrestling tagteam duo the Fantastics during the 1980's.

Even though you were heartbroken when Tommy Rogers left the World Wrestling Federation after his tenure in the summer of 1997, you doubt that Tommy would've been on the WWF's roster during their Attitude era, since the Attitude era was cranking out and creating fresh new stars.

Granted, there were a few wrestling veterans making guest appearances in the Attitude era, like Sgt. Slaughter, the Rock n Roll Express and even Hillbilly Jim and the Bushwackers appearing at Wrestlemania 2001, but their appearances were brief.

While you loved being a part of the World Wrestling Federation roster, seeing Tommy Rogers in ECW made you want to be a part of the ECW roster even more (amongst other things).

You had watched some ECW episodes and pay-per-views from its heyday in the 1990's and seen some the content on it.

Near the end of 1998, when you had some freetime and didn't have to rehearse your lines for a promo and weren't being filmed for a "Monday Night Raw" or "Shotgun Saturday Night" episode or a pay-per-view, you pulled your laptop out and lifted the top up until your eyes can fully see the screen, where you turned your laptop on.

Tommy was in ECW in the middle of 1998, that's why you're typing to him now.

With your fingers on top of the keyboard, after you typed your password in to your account and waited for the screen to load, the screen showed off your desktop as well as the wallpaper of your desktop, where you moved one of your hands to the touchpad and placed the tip of your finger on that touchpad.

Your finger on that touchpad moved the cursor/mouse over to your email on the side of your laptop, where once the cursor was right in front of your email and basically covering the "email" button, your index finger pressed on the touchpad many times to open up your email.

After you pressed the tip of your finger on your touchpad while your cursor was in front of the icon, your email account did show up and completely covered up your laptop's screen, your email now covering your desktop's wallpaper.

Your index finger slid upwards to the right on your mousepad to scroll the cursor/mouse to the button to create a new email, where your finger pressed on your touchpad when the cursor was on top of the "create new email" button until now a blank paper and engines were now mostly completely covering your laptop's screen.

After loading for a while, empty sections and a large blank white paper for you to type your email was there, which made you smile.

You scrolled your cursor to the empty "to" section, where you began typing in Tommy Rogers' email address.

After you typed his address, you scrolled your cursor down to the "from" section, where you typed your email address.

You have his email address, in fact, you have many email addresses and phone numbers from professional wrestlers.

This was the late 1990's, when, as Britney Spears said, "Everyone's been doing emails".

There was actually a boyband in the late 90's and early 2000's called E-Male.

Britney in the late 1990's had a song called "E-Mail my Heart".

Yes, even in the late 1990's, laptops existed, just look at that iconic gif of Shawn Michaels trying to see which letter to press on a laptop's keyboard in the late 90's.

Sunny from the World Wrestling Federation was the most downloaded woman on AOL.com in 1996.

Was it necessary for you to type and eventually send this email to Tommy?

You can easily call him or even write him a letter, you have his phone number.

After typing in your email address as well as his and typed the title of your email to him, your hand shifted back to the touchpad, where you placed the tip of your index finger on the touchpad and scrolled down to the blank, empty paper you'll type to him.

Once the cursor was in front of the empty paper, you removed your hand off of the mousepad and placed both of your hands and fingers on top of the keyboard, where the tips of your fingers began to type and press on the letters.

This is what you typed to Tommy in your email:

Dear Tommy,

Yes, this is the y/n. The same y/n that used to wear those evening gowns to the wrestling ring while accompanying Hunter Hearst Helmsley.

You want proof that this is the same y/n?

I can remember when you were in the WWF, and I had that gangbang with you, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, and Jeff Hardy where I sat in the corner of a wrestling ring and I masturbated Hunter's and Rob's penises and pretended they were water bottles.

I used to tell you you look like John Ritter from "Three's Company", so much I wanted you to be my thighmaster.

I'm sure some ringrats have said that to you.

How are you? How has ECW been for you?

I miss you being in the WWF sooooooooooooooo much, even if you wouldn't fit in with this current WWF now, but some older wrestlers like the Rock N Roll Express have made guest appearances and had matches in today's WWF.

I love being in the WWF, but I also really wish I was a part of the ECW roster, and seeing you in ECW makes me wish I was in ECW more, but you aren't the only one.

I've watched some ECW footage, and there have been moments like Rick Rude spanking Francine, Shane Douglas spanking Kimona Wanalaya, and Chris Benoit's wife spanking Sandman's wife.

I would love it if I was in ECW, if you laid me on your knees, pulled my dress or skirt up or my shorts down and gave me a spanking.

You wouldn't have to spank me with a paddle, you can just spank me with your hand!

I've been a baaaaaad, naughty girl, and you know that.

I need a spanking from you big boy.

If you came to the WWF, I'd let you give me a spanking during a match on TV.

I don't just wanna be spanked by you, but some other ECW men, like Rob Van Dam and even Super Nova, as well as men who used to be in ECW like Chris Jericho and Raven.

There's many men in the WWF and even WCW I've wanted to spank me--even on television, but I can't get spanked by Triple H/Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Shawn Michaels because I was a part of D Generation X.

It's the opponents always getting spanked.

I can't get spanked on WCW because I'm not allowed to join other companies now and WCW is a kid friendly company, although kids get spanked all the time, but not sexual spankings...mostly.

I love Hunter/Triple H and Shawn and love being in DX, but what I don't like about it is that I can't do things like flash my breasts to them on TV or suck their private parts in the ring as a distraction or do other distractions since I work for them.

The role of a valet is to distract the opponent.

Speaking of which, if I was in ECW, I'd love to suck on your cock if it was covered by your tights during a match if I was a valet.

I don't just wanna suck your cock as a distraction, but also Rob Van Dam, Raven, Stevie Richards, Nova, Brian Pillman, Shane Douglas, maybe even Mikey Whipwreck.

I wouldn't mind sucking your dick in the ring in front of people if your dick wasn't covered by your tights or singlet, but I'd get in trouble and get arrested.

There are sooooooooooooooooo many sexual things I want to do to you and some other hot men in ECW.

I know Brian Pillman is dead now :(, but I would've sucked his dick covered by his tights in the WWF or even WCW, I'd suck it if he was in ECW wearing jeans (but I'd pull his zipper down and unbutton his pants!).

I also wanna suck on some male wrestler's dicks covered by their tights or singlets (or even jeans) in WCW, like Scott Hall, Chris Jericho, Jim Powers, and Chris Benoit.

I know Chris Jericho and Benoit were both in ECW, I'd suck their dicks if they were in ECW too.

I got my whole "sucking a wrestler's dick covered by their tights or singlet" thing from Jenna Jameson, who guest stars in ECW sometimes.

I want to do sexual things to you in ECW on television and off camera.

I want to do sexual things to some ECW men on and off camera.

Maybe one day I will be in ECW again and be a part of the roster.

While I love working as a valet, maybe I should've just stuck to being a ringrat, that way I could be in just about any wrestling company I want.

Maybe you'll be in the WWF again one day.

I wish you all the best of luck in ECW and in professional wrestling. Keep in touch.

Love, y/n xoxoxoxoxoxox xxx

Your eyes were careful while you looked at the screen and typed your email, making sure you wouldn't make any spelling mistakes.

After you were finished typing your email and satisfied with it, your hand slid over to the touchpad and placed the tip of your index finger on the touchpad, where your index finger slid up sideways on that touchpad to scroll over to the "send" button.

Once the cursor was on top of the "send" button, your index finger pressed on your touchpad almost as hard as it could, where your email was soon sent to Tommy.

You then logged out of your email account and closed your laptop, as well as turned your laptop off.

You hoped Tommy would send an email back to you and you checked your email everyday.

And he did reply back to your email, admitting he misses you too.

You've exchanged emails and phone calls with Rob Van Dam, Stevie Richards, Super Nova and Raven, telling them you miss them, and they've sent back emails and phone calls telling you they miss you as well.

Rob really misses you since he had a brief stint in the WWF in the summer of 1997.

Your dream of joining the ECW roster came true at the end of the year 2000, however, for some reason, Tommy Rogers wasn't in ECW by the end of that year.

Why?

You were so disappointed when Tommy wasn't in ECW at the end of that year, but thankfully, Rob Van Dam was still with ECW and so was Nova, although Nova didn't really look that good during your tenure in ECW.

Even better, Scott Hall (yes, THAT Scott Hall, the former Razor Ramon) was a part of the ECW roster, and that made both you and Scott really happy.

While Tommy Rogers during his ECW time and even his WWF time didn't look quite as good as he looked when he was with the Fantastics in the 1980's, especially the late 1980's, he was still pretty handsome in the late 90's even if he had a mullet.

[heartofanenigma]

I went and listened to Buffalo Replaced because of your post. Now I'm heartbroken first thing in the morning. What have you done. (Please dissect it and enlighten me with your views, I love reading your thoughts)

Hey in my defence you knew what you were signing up for as soon as you got into this hell hole of big sad :P

I wish I could sit down and tear apart this song word by word but time is a cruel bitch what can I say.

This album, although named the land is inhospitable and so are we, sounds like a summer evening and contains so much land. So much nature. Makes me wonder if we're the only inhospitable ones and so so jealous of everything around that we must make everything inhospitable too.

This song too, just like the general theme, feels like a breezy summer evening in the garden while your inhospitable home stands behind you. And you somehow can't just enter it, you'd rather let the mosquitoes pester you and drink you dry than go back in there. The parallels between the mosquitoes sucking you dry while you do the same to the moon, draining the higher being for nourishment and solace. Another element of the summer being fireflies, they fly past you, around the tall grass and bushes like fast lights, falling stars, like little packets of memories that zoom around you. You can also see or feel the smoke and smell of fire, possibly a bonfire and the children enjoy it.

The chorus could mean a lot of things but one thing that I settled on was changes, how we change and distort nature for ourselves, to build more rail lines so that these freight trains can run. And also that nature is not much different, a new, younger buffalo replaces an older one. Alternatively, the freight train, a much more tamer version of herself is allowed to stampede away in her backyard unlike her wilder self, the buffalo. She's had to replace her wildness with a calmer, quieter self.

Hopelessness is also a big theme in this song, i believe. You're hopeful, a blind, nameless hope who doesn't look at past experiences or mistakes but stupidly hopes. She gives her all, she gets sickly and throws up/shits when given an opportunity, a window to be hopeful. She feeds on the delusions and tries to coax you in believing when you're away as in when your logic leaves you. You think it'd be easier to be hopeless, to have such an unbelievable part of you gone but at the same time you don't want that, you just want it to quiet down sometimes, go to sleep because then you're not completely hopeless or hopeful. You stand on a neutral ground, hence less prone to hurt.

The last chorus is again pretty much self explanatory. Your tamer self reaches far beyond your more intense self could ever. And you stand there on your yard, hearing the horn and calculating it's distance while the mosquitoes prickle your legs and the darkness of your house and bonfire smoke spreads into the sky and it gets darker. The fireflies and the dead buffalo can keep you company only for so long.

[tyongxnct]

𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 - 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝐿𝑒𝑒

pairing: Mark Lee x reader

special guest: Jaehyun, Johnny, Yuta, Jungwoo, Taeyong, Doyoung, mention of Haechan

summary: Years ago, you were deeply in love with Mark Lee. He’s your first love and you thought he’d be the last. After finding out why he really dated you, he broke up with you and vanished. You were devastated and heartbroken. Now you were at the airport as the maid of honor of your best friend Aera, her wedding’s in Greece and you were flying three days earlier with her, her fiancé Jaehyun and his best man. Little did you know that Mark Lee was Jaehyun’s best man. Feelings you thought you had buried deep inside bloomed again.

song: back to you - Selena Gomez

genre: exes-to-lovers!au, angst, smut, fluff

warnings: smut, alcohol consumption, swearing

word count: 11.7k

A/N: I’m finally done. This is the last fic of my series and I can’t believe that i’m done with this series. This series means so much to me, not only because I love Selena Gomez, but also because of the meaning behind evey story. Thank you for all of your support, thank you for every comment, like, reblog, ask and follow. This is just the beginning. Also thank you for requesting that you want to read a second part to some of my stories, I’ll try to write them in the upcoming month, march. I hope you enjoy. Thanx

taglist: @alex-chann​, @aesthetichrj @bvbyxuxi​​

© tyongxnct on all platforms

Took you like a shot Thought that I could chase you with a cold evening Let a couple years water down how I'm feeling about you And every time we talk Every single word builds up to this moment And I gotta convince myself I don't want it even though I do

“I have BIG news!” Aera squealed as soon as you opened the door for her. She hugged you tightly and started jumping, you jumped with her even though you had no idea why.

“Why are we jumping around?”

“Greece! I’m getting married in Greece!” she yelled happily, “You know that it’s my dream to get married in Greece and my amazing soon-to-be-husband surprised me with it! Oh god, I  can’t believe I’m marrying Jaehyun in fucking GREECE!”

“Holy shit that’s great! But can we stop jumping I might puke.”

You sat down on your couch with Aera, “We need to start planning, the wedding is in 3 weeks. I’ve sent the invitations right before I came here. We booked a hotel with the best view ever and my wonderful maid of honor aka you are flying with me and Jaehyun a two days earlier, you know, to get stuff done and the others come one day before the wedding, your man too, by the way. I can’t wait for my bachelorette party- but remember, I promised Jaehyun no strippers.” Her eyes sparkled as she talked about her wedding and you started thinking about your own future.

Were you ever going to get married? You want to get married, you really do. But what if you never get the chance to? Your boyfriend hated to talk about commitment and marriage, he said living together and dating was enough, but you never felt the same way. You wanted to get married, you want a ring on your finger, and you wanted to call him your husband, not your boyfriend.

Aera left after a while and you were alone, until you heard the door open with a sigh. “I’m home.”

His voice, no, his existence alone triggered you and without knowing you plugged in your earphones. “I said I’m home Y/n. There she fucking goes again, god I’m not going to deal with you tonight.” And without saying anything after that, he left again. Minho, your boyfriend of two and half years, always left you alone. He never bothered to talk to you about the problems in your relationship and after trying and trying, you were sick of it.

Dating him was almost torture but breaking up with him was also difficult. You were so scared of being alone, of not being loved.

Almost three weeks later, you found yourself at the airport with Jaehyun and Aera. Jaehyun looked at his watch every two minutes and he looked really nervous too. “Where the fuck is he?” he mumbled and Aera kicked his leg. “Ouch?” he hissed in pain. “Sorry baby didn’t mean to kick you that hard.”

“What is going on here? Who are we waiting for?” you asked confused. “You didn’t tell her?” Jaehyun asked his fiancée. Aera shook her head.

“W-Well about that- uhm, there’s one thing I have to tell you, but don’t get too mad,” Aera looked at you nervously, “you, uhm… you remember Mark Lee, right? Please forgive me for not telling you, but- fuck, he’s Jaehyun’s best man. He’s coming with us.” Aera closed her eyes, scared of your reaction.

“You are joking right?” your heart pounded against your chest.

“N-No, I really didn’t know that you didn’t know- a-and you know, Mark’s my oldest friend and yeah, and uhm, fuck he’s coming act natural.” Jaehyun looked at his phone and laughed, even though his screen was dark and Aera laughed with him.

“How the fuck am I supposed to act natural?!” you almost yelled bus as soon as you heard Mark’s little hi, your heart stopped beating.

It’s been almost three years since you heard his voice. Every memory played in your mind like a sad movie, the second he asked you to be his girlfriend to the end of your relationship with him, the moment he broke your heart almost made you cry again, but Aera stepped on your foot and you came back to reality.

“Hi.” You said coldly, his last word replaying in your head over and over again.

Aera and Jaehyun watched you and Mark awkwardly and Mark couldn’t find any words to say, except for, “H-hi.”

“Sooo, now that everyone’s here,” Jaehyun handed you your tickets. “Thanks.” Mark mumbled.

You were about to go on board, you didn’t say a word since Mark came and he was busy talking to Aera and Jaehyun. “Y/n, we’ll see you guys when we land alright?”

“What do you mean?” you asked confused, “We sit together? Right?”

“W-Well about that- we are flying first class, we wanted to spoil ourselves a little- please don’t get angry I’m sorry I am so sorry.” Aera whispered and you felt like you could explode any second like a volcano.

“Y-You mean… you’re telling me I have to sit with him for the next couple hours?! All alone?!” you tried to whisper but it was loud enough for Jaehyun and Mark to hear.

“shh! Just, I don’t know, sleep, or watch a movie or maybe just talk to him like a grown up, please do it for me?” she pouted.

“I’m gonna be wasted when we arrive in Greece.” You couldn’t be angry at her. “As long as you don’t kill him.”

Jaehyun and Aera entered the plane first and left you and Mark alone. “So, how have you been?”

The audacity.

“Good.” You mumbled. How long until you could enter that fucking plane?

“Me too, well, I’d say ok-“

“Look, Mark. I’m doing this for our friends, okay? I’m not interested in your life. I don’t want to talk to you unless it’s about the wedding. Did I make myself clear?” maybe you were mean and bitchy, but after everything he had done to you, you didn’t care.

He just nodded and looked down to his feet.

Half an hour later, you were seated on the plane right next to Mark. It’s not your first time flying, but it was Mark’s first time, and he was fucking scared.

“This is captain Lee Taeyong speaking, I’m your pilot for our flight to Mykonos, Greece. My co-pilot for today is Kim Doyoung. Please enjoy your flight.”

After the announcement and the instructions, you were ready to go.

The plane started moving and you could feel Mark tensing up next to you. His grip on the hand rest tightened and his knuckles turned white.

You tried so hard to ignore him, but you couldn’t. You should laugh at him, take pictures of his suffering- but you held his hand and assured it him that it’ll be over.

Mark looked at you and then back at your hands. Your thumb slowly stroked his hand and he stopped thinking about the plane and he could only think about your hand holding his.

You held his hand until you saw the flight attendant walk around.

Mark thanked you but you ignored him.

“Hello, would you like to have some water or coffee?” the flight attendant asked you and Mark.

“Just a water please.” Mark said.

“Do you have something stronger? Wine? Or champagne?”

“Sure ma’am.”

“Alright I’d like to have some champagne.” You smiled and she nodded.

Mark looked at you, eyes a little wide.

Four glasses later, you were a little tipsy.

“I think you had enough-“ Mark tried to stop you from ordering another glass.

“You don’t know anything about me!” you protested.

“Y/n, get some sleep come on-“

“Mind your own business.” You plugged in your Airpods and ignored him. You didn’t want him to interact with you and If you have to stop drinking for him to shut up, you sadly had to.

You closed your eyes and leaned back. You didn’t notice Mark’s eyes on you, watching your pretty features as your chest raised with every breath you took.

Shortly after, you fell asleep.

You could break my heart in two But when it heals, it beats for you I know it's forward but it's true

Three years ago

“It was a game. I won and now it’s over.” Mark said coldly as he looked away.

“What do you mean a game? And what is over? Mark, babe, I don’t understand.” Maybe you knew, maybe you tried to hide the fact that you saw it coming. Your relationship was too good to be true.

“I told my friends that I could fuck you within a year, and I did. We’ve been dating for ten months. I won. I can’t believe I waited ten months to fuck you.” He said casually.

“What?”

“Are you deaf? I fucked you and I got a lot of cash in exchange. Now we’re over. As simple as that.”

“You’re joking? Right? You love me, Mark. We love each other. It’s not funny.” Your voice broke.

“I’m not fucking joking,” he showed you the money he got, “Now, please get the fuck out of my apartment. Oh, and take your toothbrush with you.”

You were crying and that annoyed him. “Why are you fucking crying?!”

“M-Mark please don’t do this- I love you. I have never loved anyone like I love you. P-Please tell me you’re lying.” You sobbed.

“You know what, I’m leaving. Leave before I come back.”

Mark didn’t want to leave, but watching you cry and sob hurt him, he would never admit that to you but deep down, he felt something for you. Mark thought ending things with you was better than walking on eggshells. It was a matter of time until you would find out. He didn’t want to risk you finding out from someone else. The least he could do was tell you, face to face.

You loved him, you really loved him so much. He was a perfect boyfriend. There was not a single day you doubt him or your relationship. It hurt, you first ever heartbreak and you didn’t know how to handle the pain.

I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to When I'm lying close to someone else You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it If I could do it all again I know I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you

After your breakup with Mark, you felt your life slowly falling apart. You were barely present in class and you stopped interacting with your friends. You drowned in self-pity and you fell deeper and deeper. Only Aera was there for you. After so many years of friendship, she always got your back.

“Is the pain ever going to stop?” you asked her between sobs.

“Honey, it’ll take a while, but I promise you, it’ll stop.”

Aera and Jaehyun were dating since first year of college and he told you that he had no idea about his oldest friend’s plan. Jaehyun was happy to see his friend happy- because was happy whenever he was with you. You went on double dates and spent so much time together, Jaehyun really thought that you and Mark were going to end up together.

“I swear I didn’t know. His other friends- that Haechan guy and the others were with him. He never told me because he know that we’re friends.”

“It’s okay, Jae. You’re not as childish as they’re. Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

And Jaehyun and Aera never left your side until college was over. During your time thinking about life and finishing college, you met Minho, your current boyfriend. You started dating and you thought he’d help you get over Mark, but he only made you feel worse.

He was a fuckboy, he fucked anyone with tits, and even though you knew it, you still agreed to date him.

Multiple fights and breakups followed, and you always end up at Aera’s or Minho would leave for a couple days.

Whenever you were lonely, and it was the case most of time, you thought about Mark. You missed him, his lips, his touches, the way he laughed and his silly jokes. You missed the way he said I love you and how warm and loved you felt with him.

No matter how hard Mark hurt you, you didn’t regret falling in love with him. You’d do it again and again.

We never got it right Playing and replaying old conversations Overthinking every word and I hate it 'Cause it's not me And what's the point in hiding Everybody knows we got unfinished business And I'll regret it if I didn't say this isn't what it could be

Two days until the wedding

Mark shook you softly and tried to wake you up. “Hey, Y/n. We’re here. Wake up.”

“Just a little longer Markie.” You mumbled in your sleep as you held his hand. When you landed, Mark got scared again and just held your hand without asking you. You were asleep after all.

Mark’s heart was about to explode. He blushed at the nickname. You used to call him Markie every time you were sleepy or acting like a baby to get his attention.

And every fucking time he fell for it and his heart softened. “Okay baby.” This time Mark stroked your hand with his thumb.

About three minutes later, the flight attendant came to wake her. “Sir, ma’am. You need to leave the plane. We landed almost ten minutes ago.”

You slowly woke up and stretched your arms. “What? Oh, sorry.” You stood up, a little too fast. Everything was spinning, Mark held your waist and you fell on his lap.

“Are you sure we landed? Everything’s spinning around.” You held your head, not noticing that you were on Mark’s lap. “Y/n, uhm, could you stand up? But do it slowly this time!” he still held your waist. “What? Oh, shit, sorry.” You stood up, a little slower this time.

“Y/n! Mark! What took you so long? What the hell?” Aera looked strictly but as she saw Mark’s arm around your waist she softened. “S-she’s a little tipsy.” Mark said, cheeks red.

“Of course, she is.”

“Am not! Oh my god, the weather is so good!” your eyes were slightly open but as soon as you saw the sea and the beautiful architecture your smiled brightly. You pushed Mark’s arm off and started unbuttoning your shirt.

Mark’s eyes widened, and Jaehyun turned around, he didn’t want to watch you take off your clothes. Aera’s mouth fell open and Mark kept on watching you. Your tank top under your shirt rose a little and Mark’s eyes travelled to your soft skin. You put your shirt in your handbag and took out your sunglasses.

Mark’s eyes never left your body, his eyes going up to your breasts. He needs to get away from you or he’ll lose his mind.

“You can turn back baby, she’s wearing something underneath.”

“J-Jaehyun maybe we should… you know.” Mark locked eyes with Jaehyun.

“What you mean Mark?” Jaehyun asked cluelessly.

“A car, you know, for the hotel.”

“Oh yeah right. Ladies, don’t move away, we’ll go rent a car.” Jaehyun kissed Aera and then they left.

“I’m going to kill him.” You breathed out after Mark left. “You won’t.” Aera posed next to you as you took selfies together. “I will. I hate him. He acts like nothing happened, like, like he never broke my heart. As if we’re old friends or shit like that.”

“He acts totally shy around you. I think you intimidate him. Did you see how he watched you when you took off your shirt? That idiot was and is so into you.” Aera always thought that Mark loved you, no matter what he did. You don’t date someone for months just for 50 bucks. “He’s a man. As soon as they see tits, they’re on their knees.” You laughed.

“Well, maybe you should let him kneel for you a little longer. I guess he’s into that.” She giggled.

“I can’t believe that you just said that.” You closed your eyes. “Well, Jaehyun’s into that.”

“Jaehyun’s into what?” Jaehyun asked as he heard his name. “Into me of course.”

“That’s why I’m marrying you.” He pulled her in for a kiss- a very steamy and hot kiss. “Hello? Keep it PG-13 please.” You looked at them with disgust in your eyes. Mark awkwardly coughed next to you. “The car is ready.”

You were in the backseat with Mark, he was a little close for your liking. “Your leg is touching mine.” You said. “And?” he asked.

“I don’t like it.”

“Sounds like a you problem.” He said back. “Excuse me?” you said in disbelief.

Jaehyun and Aera locked eyes for a second.

Aera turned the radio louder and it was your song.

“Y/n! Isn’t that your favorite song?!” she yelled through the music. Mark glanced at you. He remembered the song. You had your first kiss with Mark, and that song was playing in the background. You were in his car, just like right now, in the backseat.

“No. It’s not.” You said as you looked out.

“What? But it’s in your Spotify playlist. What was it called? Fav songs? Best songs? His songs? My songs?” she kept on asking and you couldn’t take it anymore. “’Our songs’ but I deleted that because that playlist was stupid. Now, please. Change that songs.”

Mark smiled to himself. You still had the playlist called our songs? Mark and you created that playlist when you were dating and you always listened to it, over thousand times and it never got boring.

“Fine.” She sighed. “No! Don’t change that song. I-it is my favorite song.” Mark said and you looked at him with furrowed brows.

“Okay.”

“Change it.” You demanded.

“Don’t.” Mark was looking at you too. “Aera, change the song.” You said through gritted teeth.

“Aera I’ll jump out of the car If you change it.” Mark threatened.

“He won, Y/n, sorry. He threatened with his life.”

You didn’t say anything because the song changed. You looked back to your phone, ignoring Mark.

“We’re here.” Jaehyun parked the car and you mouth fell open. The hotel looked stunning. “Holy shit. This place is fucking gorgeous.” Aera said happily. “Only the best for my fiancée.” Jaehyun was fucking cheesy but Aera loved it.

The hotel was not exactly like a hotel. It was more like little white house’s next to each other with a pool and a perfect view. The house was bigger than you thought, many guest rooms, a big room for the couple and a very big room for you and Mark, at the end of the hallway, far away from Jaehyun and Aera’s room.

“If you excuse us for a while, we have things to discuss in our room,” Jaehyun said as he winked at Aera. “But we’ll get dinner together. Don’t go too far, stay in your rooms or go swimming we don’t really care just leave us alone for an hour-“ Aera kicked his leg again. “or three.”

After unpacking your stuff, you decided to go to the pool. You changed to your black two-piece swimsuit and left your room and at the same time Mark opened his door and left his room. He was in his swim trunks and he stopped his movements as soon as he saw you leaving your room.

Mark tried to hide his gaze on your body, but he was quite obvious. “Stop staring.”

“I-I’m not staring.” He looked away.

“Sure.” You made your way outside, to the pool. It was extremely hot, you put your towel on the beach chair next to the pool and sat down, ready to put on some sunscreen. Mark entered the porch and looked at you. You put sunscreen on your legs and didn’t break the eye contact.

You wanted to tease him, provoke him so you put on a show. You slowly pulled the straps of your swimsuit down and slowly put the sunscreen on your neck and shoulders until you reached the upper part of your breasts. You didn’t need to look at Mark, you felt his eyes on your as he put his stuff down next to you.

“Mark?”

“Y-Yes?” he stuttered, his focus on your breasts.

“Could you help me? I can’t reach my back.” You said innocently.

Mark gulped, “Y-yeah I can, uhm, I can do that for you.”

Mark wasn’t the only one watching. You watched him too. You watched him take off his shirt and you couldn’t look away. He looked hot, hotter than before. Did he start working out? He caught you watching him and smirked at you. You threw the sunscreen to him and turned around. You untied the bikini bra but held it against your breasts.

He squeezed a little on his hand and slowly put it on your lower back, slowly massaging it into your skin. You didn’t know If his hands were cold or If the sunscreen was cold, but after he touched you, your entire body shivered. You got goosebumps, you even felt your nipples harden.

“Yes Mark, just like that.” You teased him again.

“Feels good?”

“Mhm…” you moaned.

His face was close to yours, you could feel his breathe against your neck. His hands slowly travelled down, slightly about your ass. “Hands up, Mark.” You pushed his hands up again, you wouldn’t let him touch your ass.

You leaned back, your head was resting on Mark’s shoulder. You were sitting between his legs and you grabbed his thigh after he put a little bit pressure on your back. You weren’t going to lie- it really felt good. Your muscles relaxed, you closed your eyes and just let him touch you.

“You want me to go harder?” he whispered in your ear. “Yes, please go harder on me.” And he did. You squeezed his thigh, your hand travelled higher and higher, “Fuck.” He mumbled under his breath and when you stopped, you moved forwards. “That’s enough.”

You tied your bikini bra back up and turned to him. He quickly tried to hide his bulge with a towel. “Are you perhaps turned-on Mark?” you mocked him.

“Your nipples are hard. I guess you are turned-on.”

He was right. You were turned on and your nipples were hard. “No, I’m not. Why would that turn me on? My nipples are hard b-because it’s cold. And stop looking you pervert!” you crossed your arms in front of you and made your way to the pool.

“Cold my ass.” He mumbled.

You slowly entered the pool, step by step. The temperature was good, you hoped your nipples would calm down. You watched Mark enter the pool, he was on the other side looking at you.

“This is my side and that is yours. Stay on your side and don’t bother me.” You told him strictly. Mark nodded and watched you. You just stared at each other and then Mark dove into the water. He swam towards you and when he got out, he was right in front of you, face, and hair wet. Chest rising and falling, eyes on you. Mark was really close, like, really close. You could feel the bulge against your thigh.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Swimming.” He caged you in his arms and pushed your body softly against the wall. He looked at you and the beautiful view of Greece and the ocean he had.

“Swim on your side of the pool.” He was annoying you so much.

“I have a better view from here.” Mark said as he looked you in the eyes. “Fine, you can stay here-“

“Don’t go.” He whispered. “Why? I’m blocking your view.”

“You are the view.”

You didn’t say anything back- you couldn’t. Your heart was beating against your chest, breathing got difficult and you couldn’t calm down. He was so close, you were about to lose your mind.

Mark wasn’t doing any better. You looked ethereal. You looked as beautiful as the first time he had met you. You were even prettier and the way you were so cold to him was kind of hot. Mark thought that his feelings for you died but seeing you after such a long time only made him realize, that his feelings for you got even stronger.

He always asked Jaehyun about you, but Jaehyun punched him and told him to fuck off because he had hurt his girlfriends’ best friend and his own friend, too. In Jaehyun’s eyes, Mark was a great friend, and he would trust him with his life, but after what he had done to you, Mark lost the right to know about your life. Still, Mark tried to find out If you were feeling any better after the breakup. If you were happy without him in your life, but he always failed and reaching out to you would be the worst thing he could do to you.

Mark’s hands were on your waist. He pushed his body against yours and he knew how nervous you were, but two can play this game.

Your hand was on his toned stomach, caressing it softly and then going down. You never broke eye contact and when your hand landed on his crotch, softly squeezing his bulge, he let out a moan. You were bold, you kept on playing with his bulge and Mark’s lips were attacking your neck. He placed soft kisses and started sucking.

“Fuck, Y/n. It feels so good. Please don’t stop.” He moaned as he squeezed your waist slightly. Before you could realize what exactly was happening, your phone rang.

“Ignore it.” Mark mumbled, his lips leaving your skin for a second.

“Mark- no.”

“Please… I’m so close.” He kissed your neck up to your jaw. You wanted to keep doing whatever the fuck you were doing with fucking Mark Lee, but your phone never stopped ringing. “You’re close?”

“Yes baby, so close.”

And you stopped your hand movements immediately. “W-What no please-“ he begged but you pushed him away. “You’re a big boy, right? You don’t need me.” You stepped out of the pool and wrapped the towel around yourself. Mark was painfully hard, and he was about to cum.

You took your phone and looked at the messages you just got. Minho texted you and you realized that you just gave Mark a handjob, even though he didn’t cum, and you totally forgot about Minho’s existence. Not that Minho always had you on his mind.

“You have got to be kidding me.” You said.

Mark looked at you curiously.

You called Minho immediately, not caring If you lost so much money since you called someone abroad.

“What the fuck does that mean?!” you asked angrily.

“I’m busy- I can’t attend the wedding.”

“Busy my ass, fuck you. This is my best friend’s wedding, the least you could do is to come to the wedding and stay next to your fucking girlfriend.” You were so angry, you didn’t care about anything.

Mark didn’t want to listen to your private conversation- and he had to jerk off- but after hearing the word girlfriend, he stopped in his tracks and listened.

“I have so much work and it’s just a wedding- I’ll make it up to you.” Minho said but you were distracted by the voices and music. “A-Are you at the club? You promised you’d never do that again?!”

“I’m with some colleagues-“ he lied.

“It’s fine. I don’t have time for this right now.” You hung up without listening to him any further. You were exhausted, so fucking exhausted. You turned to your left and saw Mark watching you. “Who was that?” he asked.

“None of your business.” You were cold to him again. Mark was about to say something, but you left without giving him the chance.

The only thing on your mind right now was Mark’s lips on your body. You took a hot shower and changed into a pretty sundress, perfect for the hot weather.

Mark was under the shower, after he jerked off, you still didn’t leave his mind. All he could think about was you and the person to whom you were talking.

After an hour, Aera told you to get ready- you were all going out for dinner. You all got ready and left the house. You were in the backseat with Mark again, not exchanging a word with the three, you were in your own world.

When you felt Mark’s hand on your thigh you turned your head to him. “Huh?”

“Burgers? What do you say?” he asked softly and pulled his hand back. “Sure.” You just wanted to drink, you didn’t care about food.

Jaehyun parked next to a restaurant and when you entered, you were all shocked. It was a beautiful restaurant with a terrace and a pretty view. Aera was next to you, Jaehyun across from her and Mark right across from you.

It felt like back then when you were going on actual double dates. “I think I have a déjà vu?” Jaehyun laughed awkwardly. “Ouch!” Mark yelped. “Sorry Mark, I wanted to kick Jaehyun.” Aera said. “Why would you want to kick me?” he asked his girlfriend. “Babe, shut up.” It was so awkward.

Mark looked at you, he knew exactly what Jaehyun was talking about. “Do you guys remember when the waiter pushed Jaehyun’s head into the cake?” Mark laughed at the memory the four of your shared. You didn’t say anything, but the others laughed. “Oh my god that was hilarious. He tasted so delicious.” Aera winked at him. “Okay, well, uhm, I wasn’t talking about that.” Mark scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

“My baby likes it when her fiancée tastes like strawberries.” Jaehyun smirked at Aera.

“This is absolutely not something we want to hear, Jesus.” Mark said disgusted.

After finishing dinner, you walked on the beach together. “Hey, babe, what’s on your mind?” Aera pulled you back to talk to you. She knew something was up.

“I just- Minho isn’t coming and I’m not sad about it. Why am I not sad about it?” you asked her. “Thanks god- I mean, I think your brain started working finally. Do you even see a future with him?” she asked you. “No, I don’t b-but I’ll never have future with anyone- I guess I’m just not worth-“

“If you dare to finish that sentence, I’ll push you into the water.” Aera threatened you. “Listen, I know when you are happy, and there was not a single time you were happy in that relationship, not like you were with that dumbass-“ she pointed at Mark, “The last time I saw you truly happy was with him, and I’m not saying go get Mark, I’m saying that Minho isn’t worth it. You are too good for him and there’s someone who loves you so much and who deserved your love and attention. Not that looser.”

And your eyes never left Mark’s back.

Something inside you switched, you don’t need a man next to you to be happy, well definitely not a man like Minho- he wasn’t even a man. After all the tears and fights you finally opened your eyes, and you knew that you deserve better.

“Fuck this shit I’m breaking up with that piece of shit.” And you really did. Aera held your hand as you dialed his number and called him.

“Y/n? It’s fucking 4 am.” Minho said. “Babe-“ you heard in the background, but you didn’t fucking care.

“You know what, I don’t even fucking care. Do whatever you want- thanks god you aren’t coming. I don’t have to make memories with an asshole like you. Go back to your slut. I’ll get my stuff when I’m back. I’m done with you” And you hung up.

You felt better than ever before.

You didn’t feel like crying- you were happy, you wanted to make great memories with your best friend and after so many years, you finally broke up with Minho. You felt free and when you looked to your left, to the stunning view you had, you just smiled.

“I’m so proud of you. You know, there are a couple single friends of Jaehyun coming to the wedding, maybe you’ll get some dick.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Jaehyun’s friends? Are we really sure about that?” you joked, looking at Mark again.

“You are right.”

Meanwhile, Mark and Jaehyun were talking about you.

“Dude, she was talking about someone not attending the wedding and like, she said girlfriend or something, I don’t know- is she… is Y/n dating someone?” Mark asked, he was scared of the answer. He had hope to get you back, but when you were someone else’s, he couldn’t do anything.

“Yeah, Minho. Such a piece of shit, like, he’s worse than you-“

“Hey!”

“Sorry, but like, what you did was an asshole move but he’s like constantly an asshole, I think that’s worse than being a dick just once. He cheats and yells and is so fucking disrespectful, if it weren’t for Y/n I’d kill him and I can’t believe that he’s coming to my wedding, god.”

Mark was shocked, you’re really dating someone like him?

“Why isn’t she leaving him?” he asked Jaehyun. “I don’t really know, they started dating right after you left, maybe she tried to move on with him.”

Mark knew he had hurt you really bad, but you tried to move on that soon? Why did you touch him like that when you have a boyfriend? Why did you let him kiss your neck and be so close?

“Let’s go to the club!” you yelled happily, and Mark turned to you. “Club?” he asked.

“Yes, the fucking club, I want to get wasted!” you sang happily.

And the next stop was a club. After a couple shots (Jaehyun didn’t drink anything except for water, he’s the driver), you and Aera danced on the dancefloor happily together. You felt so alive and excited, you jumped around and Mark couldn’t keep his eyes away from you.

The way your dress slightly rose and exposed your beautiful legs. He hoped nobody else was looking at you like he did.

“You’re staring.” Jaehyun said.

“Am not.”

“You’re so fucking obvious, it physically hurts me to see you like this.” Jaehyun patted Mark’s back.

“Do you think she still hates me?” Mark asked. “Well, I would.”

“That’s not helpful.” Mark gulped down another shot. “Alright, I’m sorry. She’s like, pissed, but I don’t think she hates you.”

“Baby! Dance with me!” Aera pulled Jaehyun to the dance floor and he didn’t resist. He had to show everyone that Aera was his girl, his fiancée. Dancing slowly turned into a make out session and not even five minutes later, they left the dancefloor and entered the restroom.

After dancing for so long, you returned back to your table. “What are you doing here all alone?” you asked Mark.

“Drinking.” He drank shot after shot. “Share with me.” You sat down next to him, really close. Your thighs touching and his gaze on your legs made you smirk.

“Let’s play a game. We’ll ask questions and If we don’t want to answer, we take a shot. Okay?”

You nodded, that could get really interesting. You ordered a whole vodka bottle and started the game.

“Ladies first.”

“What a gentleman. Well, okay, I got a question. Did you get to cum today?” you asked boldly. “I did.” He smirked at you.

“Okay, uhm, were you turned on?”

You took a shot, yes you were so turned on, but you wouldn’t say that out loud.

Mark looked you in the eyes, “Do I look hot?”

“So fucking hot.” Mark said without thinking.

“Do you want me to touch you?” he asked now, you took a shot, which was a pretty obvious answer to him. He put his hand on your thigh. He squeezed slightly. “I never said yes.” You said. “You also never said no. Do you want me to stop touching you?”

“It’s not your turn.” Which meant that you didn’t want him to stop touching you.

After a couple shots, Mark finally asked you the question he was dying to ask.

“Did you miss me?” his face was serious, and he looked you the deep in the eyes. Whenever Mark asked you a question to which you couldn’t say no, you took a shot, just like you did at this question. Mark knew that you had missed him.

“I missed you. So much.” He came closer, nose brushing yours. Mark pressed his lips on the corner of your lips. He slightly pulled back and you looked at you, you weren’t stopping him, so he continued.

The next kiss landed on the tip of your nose and then on the other corner of your lips. Mark squeezed your thigh with a little bit more pressure as he finally placed his lips on yours. Mark kissed you slowly and without realizing it, you kissed him back. You shut your eyes and let him kiss you. He kissed you with so much passion, so much longing and you cupped his cheeks to pull him closer.

His right hand held you by your waist and squeezed it, you gasped, and he put his hot muscle in your mouth. His tongue was playing with yours, he sucked on your lower lip and you could feel yourself getting wetter with every touch and every kiss. You forgot that you were in public, everyone could watch your heavy make-out session with Mark.

“M-Mark-“ you moaned.

“Mhmm…” he didn’t want to stop-

“Mark- there are people around -fuck- us-“ when he started kissing your neck, you lost it.

“Don’t care.” And he kept kissing your skin. “I can’t get enough of you.” He smirked as he left a mark on your skin.

You opened your eyes and saw Jaehyun and Aera coming. You pushed Mark away and acted like you didn’t just have the best kiss of your life.

“We’re done,” Aera giggled, “We should go back, it’s late and we should get sober until tomorrow night. I want to remember my bachelorette party.”

You just nodded, grabbed your purse, and left the club with the others coming after you.

The car ride was awkward. Mark wanted to hold your hand, but you tried to leave as much space as possible between you. Your head was spinning, you wanted him but the voice in your head told you to back off.

Mark was silent the whole ride back and after you left, he could finally breath again.

“The others are coming tomorrow, I trust my best man to take care of them.” Jaehyun and Mark talked on the way back to the house and you tried to ignore the fact that Mark was really walking right next to you.

“Of course, dude. You’re bachelor party is going to be crazy, by the way.” Mark planed something big for Jaehyun.

“No strippers.” Jaehyun warned.

“No strippers for you.” Mark teased even though he was suddenly not interested in seeing women, except for you. You were on his mind and you just didn’t want to leave.

That kind of hurt you.

You accidently locked eyes with Mark, and he wanted to punch himself. “I- I mean I don’t want them either- you know? I swear I didn’t book any strippers.” Mark tried to save himself, but you just rolled your eyes.

“We’re going to have strippers though, Aera.”

“What? Aera, babe, I thought we said no strippers.” Jaehyun pouted.

“I told her! Y/n No strippers!” Aera panicked.

“No strippers for you.” You mocked Mark and he glared at you.

“No strippers and that’s final.” Jaehyun said strictly like a dad, pointing his finger at me.

“I was just joking- don’t worry. No strippers. Promise.”

You could break my heart in two But when it heals, it beats for you I know it's forward but it's true

The next day was hectic. Family members and friends finally arrived and you, as the maid of honor, tried your best to be there for them and for Aera. Mark on the other hand just hung out with Jaehyun. The wedding is tomorrow and the bachelor parties are tonight. Aera was a little stressed, even with your help. She was talking with the catering company and you could see how exhausted she was.

“Aera, go take a long relaxing bath, I got this. I have your list and all of the information. Let me manage this, you need to relax and enjoy this. I don’t want you to stress.” You told her.

“You’re right, I trust you with this.”

You did everything you had to do. You were done with the check list and when you were about to go to your room to take a quick nap, a voice interrupted you.

“So, Y/n. Did you get hotter? Or is it just the weather in Greece?”

You turned around and faced Johnny Suh. A close friend of Jaehyun and he was always flirting with you, even when you dated Mark, but it was harmless. He was always nice and kind and you flirted back, just for fun of course and well, you liked making Mark jealous.

“Oh look at you! Long time no see.” You hugged him and the other boys trailing after him. Mark leading the boys and watching you and Johnny flirt right in front of him.

You hugged the others, and they didn’t know how to act, since Mark was glaring at them, which you didn’t notice.

“So Y/n, do you need any help?”  Johnny said, winking at you.

“I’m actually done with everything, I was about to take a nap.”

“A nap? Come on, we’re in Greece. Let’s go to the beach.” Johnny suggested and everyone agreed with him, even Mark.

You thought about it for a second. Going to beach sound perfect, who knows If you ever come to Greece again.

“Alright, I’ll go get my stuff and change.”

You changed to your bikini and a sundress. You packed your back, a couple towels, sunscreen, and your sunglasses. The boys were already waiting for you. Jungwoo, Mark, Johnny and Yuta were the only ones who wanted to go to the beach. Jaehyun was napping and the others wanted to go to the city.

You were sitting between Jungwoo and Mark. Johnny was driving and Yuta took the passenger seat. You pressed your legs together, you didn’t want to touch Mark’s legs. After everything that happened last night, you were scared and you didn’t know what to do. Mark wasn’t doing any better. It was so awkward and if he could, he would kiss you again.

Not even 15 minutes later, you arrived at the beach and it was such a beautiful view.

“Wow, it’s so beautiful.” You said with wide eyes.

“Not as beautiful as you are.” Johnny flirted and you softly hit him on the shoulder, “Shut up.”

Mark tried to ignore Johnny’s flirty behavior, but it was so hard, even back when you and Mark were still dating, he hated it whenever Johnny flirted like that with you. He didn’t even know why, he shouldn’t have cared, he was only dating you for the money, right? But now it was different. Now he cared even more, he wanted you and it drove him crazy that you ignored him all day.

When you settled down right in front of the beach, Yuta and Jungwoo dropped everything and ran straight into the water.

“They didn’t put any sunscreen on.” Johnny mumbled, “Can you help me put some on Y/n?” he asked you.

“Sure.”

Once again, Mark wanted to punch his friend.

The way you put sunscreen on Johnny’s back was quick, you wanted to annoy Mark, you didn’t want him to think that you were really interested in Johnny. Johnny thanked you and asked you if you need help too and when you nodded, Mark remembered when he put sunscreen on your back yesterday.

Mark smirked at the memory, you’re so beautiful and your moans were so pretty and-

Mark’s thoughts were interrupted by you.

“Johnny, you are so strong, it feels so good.”

How could you say that, Mark thought.

“Y/n are you still with that piece of shit?” Johnny asked you as he massaged your back. “No I broke up with him.”

“So you’re single right?”

“Fuck- Yes, single.” You closed your eyes and enjoyed the massage you were getting.

“Hyung, I think Yuta is calling your name.” Mark interrupted.

“I can’t hear anything?” you mumbled.

“For real, he called your name just a second ago, maybe you should go look after him.”

Johnny’s plan worked. Johnny could hear the jealousy in Mark’s voice. Johnny wasn’t really interested in you, yeah you were pretty and you have a great personality, but you were still Mark’s ex-girlfriend and Johnny knew that Mark still liked you, even though he never admitted that.

“Alright, maybe Mark can continue?” Johnny asked you.

“I don’t know… Mark’s not as strong as you are.” You teased.

“I am strong, did you forget about yesterday-“

“Okayyyy.” Johnny laughed awkwardly and left you two.

Mark placed his hands on your back, he softly massaged you. You were laying on your stomach and Mark slowly untangled your bikini straps.

“How is this?” he asked you as he put a little pressure on your back.

“G-Good, so good.”

“You like making me jealous huh?” his hand travelled down but he stopped right before your butt.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said innocently even though you knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Oh baby, you do. You know what I’m talking about,” he put a little bit of pressure on your neck, “I really want to spank you for behaving like a brat.”

“Do it.”

“Don’t play with me.” Mark bend forward and pressed his lips on your bare shoulder. He left wet kisses on your skin and you closed your eyes and let him.

You missed him. You missed Mark so much. You wanted him and he wanted you, but there was still something holding you back.

You got interrupted by the ringing of your phone.

Mark pulled back and when you tried to stand up to reach for your phone, you forgot that your bikini was loose.

“Oh shit-“ you laid back and Mark giggled. He tied your straps back together and you finally answered your phone.

“Hi Aera, yeah we’re at the beach. Everything is done, don’t worry I took care of everything. Yeah be ready at 9 I’m not telling you what I’ve planned. The dress code is red and short. No Jaehyun won’t get jealous because he won’t get to see you until the wedding. Oh, I’m- I’m with Mark right now- would you shut up we’re not-“ you glanced at Mark who was already looking at you, “I’m hanging up now.”

Aera teased you with Mark, she asked you why you were alone with him and if you were doing dirty things with him.

“I’m going to the boys, are you coming?” you asked him softly.

Mark just nodded and trailed after you.

I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to When I'm lying close to someone else You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it If I could do it all again I know I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you

After your fun beach day, you got ready for the bachelorette party. Aera’s three other friends were also coming and knew about your plan. You booked a limousine and a VIP place in a club, it wasn’t much, but Aera liked it the traditional way.

After changing to a short red dress with thin straps, you put on makeup and you were ready to go. The others were also ready and Aera tried to hide herself.

“Jaehyun can’t see me like this- he’d rip this dress off me, then he would fuck me and then he would burn it.”

“Calm down, Johnny told me that they already left.” You assured her.

“Fine. Fuck I look so hot.” Aera opened her front camera once again and looked at herself.

“Yes you do and now let’s get wasted!!” one of her other friends said.

Driving in a limousine was fun, Aera popped the champagne bottle carefully and after driving around the city for 3 hours and having fun in the limousine, you arrived at the club.

You entered the VIP lounge and the night started perfectly. Everyone was having fun, dancing, and drinking.

Aera secretly texted Jaehyun that she missed him and loved him. She also left for about five minutes just to talk to him in the restroom.

“Where the hell were you?” you asked her.

“I was talking to Jaehyun I’m sorry I’ll turn my phone off now.”

And she did, of course after she texted Jaehyun that she was turning her phone off, she didn’t want him to worry and also have fun.

After that, Aera drank and danced like there was no tomorrow.

You were also having the time of your life, it’s been so long since you danced freely in a club. No, it’s been so long since you had fun at all. When you were with Minho, you never had any fun. It was always about him, his pleasure, his feelings, everything about him. All you could think about was Mark when you were with Minho. No matter how much Mark hurt you, when he was your boyfriend, he was always perfect. He valued you more than Minho ever did. You shouldn’t be thinking about Mark when you were lying next to someone else, but you couldn’t help it.

“Y/n?”

You turned around and your eyes met Mark’s.

“M-Mark? Are you real? Or am I dreaming?” you giggled, you were tipsy.

“I’m real,” he stroked your cheek, “This island is so small, we ended up at the same club.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and he put his hands on your waist. “I was thinking about you the whole day.” you admitted, you were drunk and drunk you always said the truth.

“Me too. Couldn’t get you out of my head.”

“Are you drunk?” you asked.

“No, but I’m still telling you the truth. I missed you.”

“I miss-“

“Y/n! Jaehyun is here and he can’t see Aera, it’s almost midnight! It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!” Aera’s friend giggled, “and she’s so fucking drunk and I’m so drunk too,” she giggled again.

You sobered up quickly, thanks god you didn’t drink much, there has to be someone sober enough to take care of everyone and you could never forgive yourself if anything happens before the wedding.

“I’ll take her back to the hotel, you guys can stay and have more fun.” You told her and she thanked you and told you to call if anything happens.

Mark followed you, he helped you carry Aera to the taxi.

“I’ll come with you.” Mark said.

“Don’t worry about us. I can take care of us, go have fun with the boys.” You smiled softly.

“No I want to be with you- I mean, I was bored anyway, and tomorrow is the big day, I should have some… sleep.” He scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

When you arrived at the hotel, Mark helped you carry Aera to your room. She was going to stay with you for tonight, Jaehyun shouldn’t see her before the wedding.

“Sleep tight, tomorrow is going to be your big day.” you said as you tugged her in.

You turned to Mark with a small smile on your face, “Thank you. For helping me with her.”

“Of course. Uhm, do you, only if you want to of course, do you want to drink something with me? In m-my room if that’s okay for you. I mean it’s still early and I’m not really sleepy, you know.” Mark rambled.

“Yeah, sure.” You said shyly.

Mark opened the door and you entered his room. His room was clean and had a perfect view. Even at night, the view was beautiful. The lights in the dark, the moon shining brightly, it looked mesmerizing.

You stood in front of his window and Mark watched you with a smile on his lips to you, the view was everything but to Mark, you were everything. You looked absolutely beautiful to him.

Mark took a couple steps and was now right behind you. He wrapped his arms around you and put his head on your shoulder. You intertwined your fingers with his and pulled him closer to you.

“It’s beautiful.”

“You are beautiful.” He whispered softly against your ear.

You turned around, his arms still around you and his face so close to yours.

“I couldn’t tell you this in the club so I’m going to say it now,” you whispered against his lips, “I missed you too, Mark. I missed you so much.”

And without thinking twice, you both leaned in and kissed.

You closed your eyes immediately and you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer, he did the same, he pulled you closer by your waist and pressed you against the window.

He kissed you gently and slowly, your heart pounded against your chest and Mark’s heart was racing, too. As if time stopped right there, as if they were never apart. Mark’s right hand was on your jaw, softly pushing your head up to get better access to your mouth, you let out a soft moan, Mark used the opportunity to meet your tongue.

The kiss was perfect, slow but still so passionate.

Mark pulled back, you were breathing heavily and heat rose from your stomach to your chest, a feeling you couldn’t really describe.

He left wet kisses on your cheek, down to your jaw and then your neck. You tilt your head back, Mark sucked on your soft skin as your hands tangled in his hair, lightly pulling.

You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, you just wanted to take off this dress and let Mark fuck you.

“D-Do you want this?” he asked you.

“Yes-“ you whimpered as he sucked on your sensitive spot.

Mark pulled you to his bed, with you on top of him straddling his lap. Your lips connected again, you tried to unbutton his shirt as he grabbed your butt softly and squeezed it.

You almost ripped his shirt, but you didn’t care.

It was your turn to press your lips on his neck.

Mark closed his eyes, the way his crotch met you when you pressed yourself against him, the way your lips kissed his soft skin, leaving pretty marks on Mark.

Mark couldn’t take it anymore. His pants were so tight, it almost hurt. He wanted to feel you, he needed to feel you. Mark changed positions, he was on top of you now.

“Take this off- please, fuck, take this off now.” He looked for the zipper of your dress and when he finally found it, he wanted to cry.

He took off your dress, and fuck, he was going crazy. You weren’t wearing a bra, only your black panties.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect.”

The way Mark looked at you made you feel so beautiful. You weren’t shy like you used to be, you felt good and you wanted him so bad.

You pulled him up for a short kiss.

Mark took off his pants as fast as he could and he was painfully hard. He couldn’t wait to be inside of you. His lips were on your nipple, he sucked on your breast and his hand was playing with the other one. After sucking on your one nipple, his attention was on the other one. “Mark- fuck, it feels so good. Please don’t stop.” You moaned.

You were so wet and feeling Mark’s cock against your thigh turned you so on.

While playing with your nipples, his one hand found your pussy. He stroked it over your panties, but then his hand travelled in your panties and he started playing with your wet pussy.

“Baby you are so wet. All for me?”

“Yes, yes. So wet for you, Mark.” You closed your eyes tightly. It felt so good to feel his hands on you again.

Even thought Mark wanted to taste you, he couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to be in you now.

“You can take me, right baby? I need to fuck you.”

“Please fuck me Mark.” You also couldn’t take it anymore, you needed to cum.

Mark took off his boxers and hovered above you. “F-Fuck I don’t have a condom.”

“You don’t have a condom? Why?” you asked him.

“Well, I didn’t think that I was going to fuck you here.”

“What if you’d met someone else here?” you asked curiously.

“I’m not interested in someone else. I want you- I always wanted you.” He admitted shyly.

You looked each other in the eyes for a couple seconds, he leaned in and pecked your lips. He pulled back and looked at you again.

“You can fuck me without a condom. I’m on the pill and I haven’t had sex in months,” You can’t even remember the last time Minho fucked you. “And I never fucked without a condom after I had sex with you.”

“Me too. I mean after… after you I haven’t fucked raw.”

“Okay.” You said softly.

“Okay.” He leaned in and pressed his lips on yours.

While kissing you, he slowly pushed his cock in you. You grabbed his biceps tightly, he stretched you, you haven’t been fucked in so long, you got even tighter.

Mark pulled back and looked at you. “You feel so good around me. So, so fucking good. I missed you so much.” With that, Mark pushed his entire length inside of you.

“Fuck-“

He was fucking into you, slowly but hard. You could feel his entire length and he always hit your sweet spot. “Right there- Mark, fuck.”

“I-I want to ride you. Mark, fuck.” You moaned.

Mark turned you, you were now on top of him.

You bounced on his cock up and down, his hands on your waist pushed you down and he thrusted his hips to fuck into you. Your hands were on his shoulder, holding him. Even though you wanted to ride him, he was fucking you hard and good.

“M-Mark I’m gonna cum. Fuck Fuck Mark-“

And then your climax hit you. You collapsed on top of him and he still fucked into you. “Fuck feel so good. Y-you feel so good.” Mark was so close and the way he kept fucking you overstimulated you. You clenched one last time and Mark came inside of you, painting you walls white. He moaned your name as he came and you could feel him twitching inside of you.

Mark wrapped his arms around you and pressed you against his chest. Mark pulled his cock out of you. You could hear his heart beating against his chest.

The night was perfect, after cleaning you up, you were wrapped in his arms once again. You talked about everything that night. Everything you had missed when you were apart.

“Can I ask you something?” he said.

“Sure.”

“Did you ever love him? Minho or whatever his name was.” Mark was jealous, even though you were in his arms.

“No, I don’t think that I’ve ever loved anyone, except for you. I always loved you.”

Mark smiled and kissed your temple.

“Why were you with him? Why didn’t you break up with him? Jaehyun told me that he’s an asshole.”

“After- after you broke up with me, I was… lost. I didn’t know what to do. I felt worthless and just- useless. He made me feel- wanted? I don’t know. I needed someone to forget you and he didn’t care. He never cared about me but he made me believe that he loved me. And that’s all I wanted. I just wanted to be loved.” You whispered the last part. A tear escaped your eye and you were quick enough to wipe it away. But Mark still noticed.

Mark felt bad. He never wanted you to feel this way. You were a dream. You were so perfect and it was his fault that you felt worthless. If anyone was useless, it was Mark.

“It’s my fault a-and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that you felt that way, but it’s not true. You are so much more. You are perfect in every possible way. You are more than anyone could ask for. I’ll never forgive myself that I made you feel this way.” Mark teared up and pulled you even closer.

“C-Can I ask you something?” you asked this time.

“Y-Yes.”

“What did you do with the money?” you were always curious about that.          

Mark gulped hard, the memory pained him. “I gave it back.”

“What?”

“I couldn’t take money from a stupid bet, a bet that hurt you. I wasn’t proud of what I did. I wanted to forget that it happened, that I did that to you. I wanted to erase that from my memory. But I couldn’t erase you.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you. I loved you back then and I love you now. I never stopped loving you but I was too scared to reach out to you. I thought you hated me and it took me long to realize how much I love you.”

You looked up to him, you didn’t want to cry but your eyes were teary. “You love me?”

“Yes, I love you. I love you so much. There was not a single day without missing you, not a single day without regret eating me alive.”

“S-So you still love?”

“Yes. I love you.” He looked you deep in the eyes.

“I love you too.”

Mark smiled widely. Oh, how he missed hearing that you loved him.

“I’m sorry for everything.”

“It’s okay.” You pecked his lips but that wasn’t enough for Mark. He climbed on top of you and kissed you passionately.

His hand was on your naked thigh, stroking it softly. You were wet and when Mark put his hand on your wet pussy, you moaned.

Mark circled your clit and his tongue played with yours. It felt so good. He slowly put two fingers inside of your cunt and thrusted them in and out. You clenched around his fingers and you could feel your climax coming. Mark added a third finger.

His lips were back on your skin. Mark softly kissed your boobs and sucked on your sensitive nipples.

“Are you going to be a good girl and cum?” he asked you between his kisses.

“Yes- I’m so close.”

“Look at me.” His face was close to yours again, and when you looked at him, at his dark doe eyes, you came.

After you calmed down, you glanced at the clock in the room.

“Shit, Mark. It’s almost six in the morning. We need to sleep.”

You talked the whole night and after two orgasms and cuddling, you didn’t notice that it was already this late.

“But I’m hard.” He pouted.

“Do you want me to suck you off?”

“Yes, please baby, please suck me off.” He begged.

You were on the edge of the bed, your face right in front of his hard cock.

You slowly licked from the bottom to his tip. You pumped his cock in your hand a couple times before you put it inside of your mouth. After pumping him, you licked the slit on his tip.

“Babe- don’t tease me.” He whimpered.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Anything- but just please, do something.”

You put his entire length inside of your mouth, bobbing your head up and down and pumping the part of his dick you couldn’t put inside of your mouth.

You stopped bobbing you head and stared licked his tip again. “Babe- please. Please make me cum.”

Mark was going crazy. He needed to cum, his cock was so sensitive now, he twitched every time you licked or touched him.

“Okay, baby. I teased you enough, I’ll make you cum. You want to cum right?” you kissed his cock and he nodded. “Please. I want to cum on your face.”

You sucked his dick properly this time, he was so sensitive and so close, not even ten seconds later, he came on your face, just like he wanted to.

“Fuck, fuck fuck. That was so fucking good, babe, fuck.” Mark was breathing heavily, the intense orgasm tired him. You cleaned you face, fortunately he only came on your face and inside of your mouth.

You crawled back to him and kissed his lips. “Thank you.” He thanked you. “I love sucking your dick.”

“No, well yeah thank you for that too but I’m thankful for everything. Thank you for forgiving me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

And you fell asleep in his arms.

I'd go back to you I'd go back to you What was there, wasn't sure But I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you

Not even three hours later, your alarm clock woke you and Mark up.

“I don’t want to leave you.” You mumbled.

“I don’t want you to leave either. Stay a little longer.” He kissed your shoulder.

“I can’t I have to wake up Aera. It’s her big day, it needs to be perfect.”

“Everything you do is perfect.” Mark flirted.

“Shut up, I’ll see you later okay? Thank you for last night.”

“I love you.” He leaned down and kissed you. After kissing for two minutes to pulled back again. “I have to go.”

“Just five more minutes.”

Almost thirty minutes later, you tiptoed to your bedroom. Aera was wide awake playing with her phone when she saw you.

“Where the fuck were you and why are- oh my god.” Aera understood immediately. “You bitch fucked Mark didn’t you.”

“Yes, and now shut up and get ready for your wedding day!”

“I know I know, but like, I’m happy if you are happy. Are you happy?” she asked you worriedly.

“Yes. I’ve never been happier I think.” You smiled. You were really happy and so in love with Mark.

“Then I’m happy.”

Hours later, you found yourself in your maid of honor dress, looking absolutely gorgeous. Mark was helping you with everything. With the catering company, the guests and everything else that needed to be taken care of.

Mark stole kisses from you here and there and now he pulled you back to his bedroom and kissed you intensely.

“You look so stunning- I can’t stop staring at you. I love you, pretty girl.” He kissed you again.

“M-Mark fuck, you look so hot and I really want to fuck you, b-but, fuck we can’t.” you closed your eyes and let him kiss your neck.

“Okay, okay. I’m trying to stay calm, but fuck, you look so good I want to rip that dress off.”

“We’ll have the whole night. Let’s go back, people are going to get suspicious.”

When you went back, you met Johnny and Yuta on your way.

“Where are you two coming from?” Yuta asked.

“My bedroom- ouch.” You kicked Mark’s leg.

“What were you doing in your bedroom?” Johnny asked amused. “Do you want me to show you?” Mark asked with a smirk.

“Mark? What the f-“ and then Mark pulled you in and kissed you fully on the lips.

He could finally show Johnny that you belonged to him, that you always belonged to him.

“Well I guess we saw that coming.” Yuta laughed with Johnny. The two left and you were still kissing.

“Ew! He is eating her Mommy!” you heard a little girl scream.

You pulled away immediately and apologized.

Mark laughed his ass off as he walked you to Aera’s dressing room. “I’m going to eat you tonight. But not your mouth. I’m going to eat your cunt.”

“I can’t wait. I’ll see you at the ceremony alright? I need to stay with Aera now.”

“Okay baby.” He kissed you goodbye.

The wedding ceremony ended so quickly, next thing you knew you were in Mark’s arms slow dancing. Aera and Jaehyun’s wedding was truly beautiful. Everything went smoothly and you were finally resting in the arms of your lover.

Aera and Jaehyun were also slow dancing and smiling happily. Not only because it was the most important night of their lives- also because their best friends were finally happy together.

“Y/n?” Mark said your name softly.

“Mhm?” you hummed with closed eyes.

“I’m really sorry that I put you trough all of that, and I’m sorry that it took me so long to realize my real feelings for you. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met in my entire life and I’m going to do everything I can to keep you in my arms. I don’t want to see sad ever again. I’ll love you until my last breath.”

You promised yourself you weren’t going to cry that night, but a couple tears still escaped.

“You know, I was hurt but I healed and I’m more than ready to do this with you again. It was you. My heart always longed for you, and I don’t think that there could be anyone I would love as much as I love you. You could break my heart thousand times, I would go back to you over and over again.” You looked up to him, he could see the love you felt for him in your eyes.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” And with that, Mark pressed his lips on yours and kissed you with so much love and adoration.

I'll go back to you I'll go back to you I know I'd go back to you I'll go back to you I'll go back to you I know I'd go back to you

[the-witches-you-couldnt-burn]

Like I did with you

So I’ve been procrastinating hard during my study break for my exams, but here have a song fic!

Ghost of you by 5SOS

Genius comments: The song tells the tale of a heartbroken lover who has lost his significant other – due to a breakup or even suicide/death – and is refusing to accept the fact that she is never coming back.

I didn’t feel like writing angst and whenever I hear this song I feel like ballroom dancing (and I have).

Also thank you to the lovely people on the Maribat discord server!

Ao3

The sequel ‘It started with a whisper’ is up!

————————

Gotham Academy implemented a new ‘Study Abroad’ program due to recent funding from a local humanitarian. This program gave the students of Gotham Academy a chance to study abroad in Europe and vice versa. Countries like Sweden, Greece, Germany, Ireland and more participated in the program; offering a multitude of high schools with many different courses.

And because of that very wealthy benefactor, his son got first pick on where he would like to study. This was 100% not a forced decision at all to subtly keep track of the happenings of Paris. With that the Ice Prince of Gotham took the City of Love by storm.

He had been at Collège Françoise Dupont for the past few months, and it’s been hell. The class he had been placed into was ripping apart at the seams. There were two students that the class gravitated towards; he observed some of the others meeting in secret, without the knowledge of their respective ‘leaders’.

The first student that held the majority of the class’ focus was Lila Rossi. She was a black hole with beady green eyes, who dragged who ever was in her reach to an agonising fate. Damian saw through her deceptions and rejected her flirtations. The students that followed her, ate up whatever lie she spat out. Rossi soon learned that lies about the Wayne family and Gotham wouldn’t fly with him.

“Really? You worked with Monsieur Wayne?” The pink clad girl, Rose, squeaked.

Damian had just walked into class on his second day at the hell hole and already regretted it. He shot a glare towards the large group, “Who ever told you that is severely misinformed. My father has never worked with a minor from Europe, due to potential rumours and allegations it could cause. It is not a threat but a promise if a lie of similar caliber is spread there will be a lawsuit.” And with that he walked towards his seat in the back, the Ice Prince had cast his decree, the class’ atmosphere had frozen over.

The second student was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Those that surrounded her were Alix Kubdel, Chloé Bourgeois, Max Kanté, Lê Chiến Kim and the occasional secret appearance from Juleka Couffaine. They didn’t view Dupain-Cheng through rose coloured lenses, they were always grounded and opinions were respected. Damian, who was a loner without Jon at his side, was satisfied by himself; Marinette respected that and didn’t force him to socialise like Lila tried to.

So that leads us to this. He stood against a sidewall of the giant banquet hall, staring out at the crowd before him. Jon was walking to wards him with a can of sprite in hand. Jon had moved to Paris with him but had been placed into a different class. The boy who was the epitome of sunshine stuck around the Ice Prince, their friendship is an enigma to the Françoise Dupont students.

Jon’s face was flushed. He had just gotten a drink after dancing for the past hour. Tonight was the night of the Collège’s formal dance for their graduating class. Skirts of all colours and fabrics swirled, as their partners (majority of whom had matching suits) twirled them to the music.

Jon, gesturing to the crowd, asked him whether he was going to stand there all night or dance. Taking a sip of his drink a smirk appears on his face, “unless the great Damian Wayne is to much of a coward to dance.”

Here I am waking up

Still can't sleep on your side

Damian’s head snapped towards the taller boy, “Are you seriously using my ego to get me to dance?”

Jon raising an eyebrow, “Well?”

If I can dream long enough

The temperamental teen stormed off, grumbling about “Jon being as bad as Todd”. Scanning the room he search for a suitable partner, there was no way he would embarrass himself by dancing alone.

You'd tell me I'd be just fine

I'll be just fine

He spotted Dupain-Cheng stood off to the side, alone. She was draped in a layered white dress with black hemming. As he neared, he realised that the asymmetrical skirt was actually a light blush with her signature apple blossom flowers embroidered. She looked up at him and he straightened his stance, slowing his pace. Her sapphire eyes locked on to his, her bangs curled off to the side along with the rest of her hair in beach waves.

So I drown it out like I always do

She gifted him a small smile, a usual occurrence within her interactions with him. He offered his left hand, bowing his head slightly. “Dupain-Che—“ he cleared his throat, “Marinette. Would you do me the honour of joining me in this dance?”

Dancing through our house

With the ghost of you

Her eyes widened, not expecting the Arabian God of a teen before her to ask her such a question. She saw his temper during class during his spats with Lila and how he kept to himself without the presence of Jon. But here he was in a fitted Armani suit that made his green eyes glow, and hair messily slicked to the side. Marinette looked at his hand, glad that her makeup mostly hid her blush.

And I chase it down

“I am...” She paused to find the right word, “I am a bad dancer. It is better for everyone that I don’t participate.”

“I can think of nothing less appealing than an evening of watching other people dance.” A small gasp escaped from her mouth before she could stop it. She watched as his mouth twitch’s downwards before his facade returned with full strength. “If you do not wish, to I won’t force you. But if you’ll allow me I’ll guide you through the dance to make sure it isn’t an utter disaster.”

With a shot of truth

Marinette’s lips quirked, giggling as she took his hand, “Your funeral Damian.”

What had he gotten himself into?

The two entered the dance floor, taking up the dance support hold. Their dance had the basic steps of the waltz, with a promenade and many spins; some as a couple and some were just Mari. Damian soon found he enjoy watching the sparkles in her dress light up as she spun. It became even more enjoyable when he discovered that the dress was her own creation.

Dancing through our house

The two made quiet conversations during their dance. Damian pulled her closer by the waist as they repeated the basic steps, their bodies perfectly in tune with each other. “You are a fine dancer despite your protests”

With the ghost of you

Marinette tilted her head up at him, blinding him with a dazzling smile. Damian’s heart fluttered, the two always had a mutual respect but it seems to have grown into a fond appreciation.

From the tables scattered around the dance floor there was a blond, with his fist clenched. Lila had dragged him off of the floor as soon as Damian and Marinette made their debuts; together. The brunette was now off angrily gossiping to Alya and any other who’d listen. It was a hot topic between Lila and Alya that Marinette loved him, although now, as he watched her dance with Damian, he was unsure as to whether that was ever true. He sat there, glued to his seat, watching the spectacle before him.

Cleaning up today

Found that old Zepplin shirt

The two dancers didn’t notice that everyone had cleared off the floor to watch them. They danced in sync, no movement was made without the other following it. Adrien had realised awhile ago that even though he didn’t have romantic feelings for Marinette, he cherished her friendship. That relationship was now tarnished due to the path he took when he first revealed his knowledge of the deceptions. His father had forced him to keep Lila happy, even if it made him miserable.

You wore when you ran away

And no one could feel your hurt

He had lost her, and he was unsure as to whether he could gain any semblance of their relationship back.

We're too young, too dumb

To know things like love

Damian lifted his partner’s right hand and twirled her three times, they both were content within their own world. The two swayed before turning together and walking around the now open space.

But I know better now (Better now)

Marinette flushed as she realised what was happening around her, leaning towards her partner she whispered, “I think we’ve become an impromptu entertainment.”

Too young, too dumb

To know things like love

Too young, too dumb

Damian subtly gazed behind her seeing their peers in a circle surrounding them. He was on the inside looking out, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world. He whispered reassurances in her ear, he wished to finish the song before he released her from his embrace. The two drowned out their audience, focusing on each other and the beat of the song.

So I drown it out like I always do

Dancing through our house

With the ghost of you

And I chase it down

With a shot of truth

That my feet don't dance

Like they did with you

The melody slowly faded off as the last lines were sung. The two finished on a basic waltz step before swaying in each other’s arms. The music ends and there is silence, blood rushed to their ears and their breaths mingled.

The two stayed in the other’s embrace, face-to-face, staring. They broke out of their trance by clapping. Looking around Marinette saw many of her peers and most of the supervising teachers applauding their performance.

Their friends broke through the crowd, Jon patted Damian’s shoulder (retracting before he got bit) while Chloe and Alix pulled Marinette back to their table to discuss what Disney magic had befallen the couple. The bluenette glanced back at her partner, mouthing a silent goodbye.

The crowd dispersed but were still buzzing from their display. Marinette was bombarded with questions, not only from her friends, but from other students about her dancing with the demon. Her stuttered replies did little to quench the crowd’s thirst. Her face must be comparable to that of a tomato.

Damian, having noticed the building crowd and Marinette’s uncomfortable stance, broke away from Jon. The crowd parted like the red sea, unwilling to be the one to anger the Ice Prince.

He offered her his arm (to which she took) and escorted her out to the patio outside. She stayed entwined with him, as she looked out at the stray Parisian night; leaning her head onto his should. Here the two could breathe. Here the two of them could be their present selves, no ghostly facades needed. It seems they could drown out anything in the presence of each other.

Unbeknownst to them, Jon had recorded their dance, along with their previous and present interactions of that night. He thought for a second to use it as blackmail material but decided to just send it off anyways. Oh the chaos it caused.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

I have a theodicy-adjacent question if that's alright. How can I offer prayers of thanksgiving without implying that God "likes me better" than They like other people? For example, I often want to thank God for keeping my loved ones safe through this pandemic, but it feels weird when so many have lost dear ones. I've learned a lot about how to wrestle with God through your ministry, but how to bring your positive feelings to God without toeing the line of a prosperity gospel-esque mindset?

Anon, I feel you! Some point a few years ago I had a similar unsettling realization. I knew that gratitude is important not only for our relationship with God, but for our psychological wellbeing — yet I felt so guilty for thanking God for things i knew others didn’t have. Did attributing the good things in my life to God imply that God wasn’t with those who lacked those good things? 

I brought that guilt and discomfort to God (and still do, whenever it arises anew). asked Them to help me sit with it, accept it, and then transform it into something more fruitful.

guilt transformed to motivation. discomfort transformed to commitment. what i was left with was an understanding that i did not need to stop my prayers of thanksgiving, but to expand them.

i take time to really feel and express my gratitude for the abundance i experience. and then i ask God to help my gratitude move me to a desire for others to experience that abundance too. I ask for guidance in how i can help make that abundance happen in the the lives of those around me and far from me. 

___

i also make time for lament. many of us are taught how to ask God for things and how to thank God for things, but grief and lament are not taught. however, thanksgiving and lament are not opposites, but work together. they enrich one another. we need to take time for both.

a book that helped me embrace lament was Barbara Brown Taylor’s Learning to Walk in the Dark. You can read quotes and whole passages from it in my tag over here.

one of my favorite songs/psalms to sing/pray in lament is this one. The psalmist empowers us to question God, to ask why and how and when? and then the psalmist leads us to praise God anyway — to praise in spite of and with our doubts and our questions. 

when we look at all the pain in the world — in our own lives, the lives of loved ones, the lives of those we don’t even know, and in the struggling pulse of all Creation — we feel all sorts of things. Distress, despair, anger, grief. But some of us are afraid to bring those feelings to God. We’d rather avoid the feelings in general, repress them, not sit inside them for a while. (And certainly, we should not wallow in the bad all the time.) Bt when we dare to assign intentional time to sit in those feelings, God sits in them with us. 

And there is a strange thanksgiving in there, too — that we aren’t alone in the lament. We come to see that it is true that God does not will suffering upon any one of us — that the fact that sometimes i experience blessing while you struggle, or you find success while i go without, is not because God is choosing which happy few to bless that day. God really does will abundant life for all, and grieves when sin (individual, systemic, the rot that eats at this world) blocks that abundance for anyone. 

___

in continuing to make time to feel and express gratitude, and then to make time to lament and to both desire and participate in abundance for others, thanksgiving does not elevate me above others as “better” or “more blessed” than they are. instead, gratitude reminds me of how interconnected we are with one another. In the Body we all share, “If one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it” (1 Cor 12:26).

___

When abundance wins out in spite of sin, we rejoice! When it is we who enjoy that abundance, our gratitude should not lead to smugness or self-congratulations, but to humility. it should shape us, move us to bring similar abundance to others.

A book that has really helped me understand that concept is Robin Wall Kimmerer’s Braiding Sweetgrass (which you can read online for free).

Christian texts have told me that the appropriate response to all God’s gifts is gratitude, but it’s Kimmerer’s book that helped me digest and embody just what that means. We acknowledge abundance, and we use that gratitude to connect us to the giver, and to others to whom that giver would also share Their gift.

Here’s one passage from her chapter “The Gift of Strawberries,” starting on page 33 of the webpage linked above:

Even  now,  after  more  than  fifty  Strawberry  Moons,  finding  a patch  of  wild strawberries  still  touches  me  with  a  sensation  of surprise, a feeling of unworthiness and gratitude for the generosity and kindness that comes with an unexpected gift all wrapped in red and green. “Really? For me? Oh, you shouldn’t have.” After fifty years  they  still  raise  the  question  of  how  to respond  to  their generosity.  Sometimes  it  feels  like  a  silly  question  with  a very simple answer: eat them. 

But I know that someone else has wondered these same things. In  our Creation stories  the  origin  of  strawberries  is  important. Skywoman’s  beautiful daughter,  whom  she  carried  in  her  womb from Skyworld, grew on the good green earth, loving and loved by all the other beings. But tragedy befell her when she died giving birth to her twins, Flint and Sapling. Heartbroken, Skywoman buried her beloved daughter in the earth. Her final gifts, our most revered plants, grew from her body. The strawberry arose from her heart.

In  Potawatomi,  the  strawberry  is ode  min, the  heart  berry.  We recognize them as the leaders of the berries, the first to bear fruit.

Strawberries first shaped my view of a world full of gifts simply scattered at your feet. A gift comes to you through no action of your own, free, having moved toward you without your beckoning. It is not a reward; you cannot earn it, or call it to you, or even deserve it.  And  yet  it  appears.  Your  only  role  is  to  be open-eyed  and present.  Gifts  exist  in  a  realm  of  humility  and  mystery—as with random acts of kindness, we do not know their source.

...Gifts  from  the  earth  or  from  each  other  establish  a  particular relationship,  an  obligation  of  sorts  to  give,  to  receive,  and  to reciprocate. The field gave to us, we gave to my dad, and we tried to give back to the strawberries. When the berry season was done, the plants would send out slender red runners to make new plants.

Because I was fascinated by the way they would travel over the ground looking for good places to take root, I would weed out little patches  of  bare  ground  where  the  runners  touched  down.  Sure enough, tiny little roots would emerge from the runner and by the end of the season there were even more plants, ready to bloom under  the  next  Strawberry  Moon.  No  person  taught us  this—the strawberries  showed  us.  Because  they  had  given  us  a  gift, an ongoing relationship opened between us.

...It’s funny how the nature of an object—let’s say a strawberry or a pair  of  socks—is  so  changed  by  the  way  it  has  come  into  your hands, as a gift or as a commodity. The pair of wool socks that I buy at the store, red and gray striped, are warm and cozy. I might feel grateful for the sheep that made the wool and the worker who ran  the  knitting  machine.  I  hope  so.  But  I  have no inherentobligation  to  those  socks  as  a  commodity,  as  private  property. There is no bond beyond the politely exchanged “thank yous” with the clerk. I have paid for them and our reciprocity ended the minute I handed her the money. The exchange ends once parity has been established, an equal exchange. They become my property. I don’t write a thank-you note to JCPenney.

But what if those very same socks, red and gray striped, were knitted  by  my grandmother  and  given  to  me  as  a  gift?  That changes everything. A gift creates ongoing relationship. I will write a thank-you note. I will take good care of them and if I am a very gracious grandchild I’ll wear them when she visits even if I don’t like them. When it’s her birthday, I will surely make her a gift in return. As  the  scholar  and  writer  Lewis  Hyde  notes,  “It  is  the  cardinal difference  between  gift  and  commodity  exchange  that  a  gift establishes a feeling-bond between two people.”

That  is  the  fundamental  nature  of  gifts:  they  move,  and  their value increases with their passage. The fields made a gift of berries to  us  and  we  made  a  gift  of  them  to  our  father.  The  more something is shared, the greater its value becomes. This is hard to grasp  for  societies  steeped  in notions  of  private  property,  where others are, by definition, excluded from sharing. Practices such as posting  land  against  trespass,  for  example,  are expected  and accepted  in  a  property  economy  but  are  unacceptable  in  an economy where land is seen as a gift to all.

Lewis  Hyde  wonderfully  illustrates  this  dissonance  in  his exploration of the “Indian giver.” This expression, used negatively today as a pejorative for someone who gives something and then wants to have it back,  actually  derives from  a  fascinating  cross- cultural misinterpretation between an indigenous culture operating in a gift economy and a colonial culture predicated on the concept of private property. When gifts were given to the settlers by the Native  inhabitants,  the  recipients  understood  that  they  were valuable and were intended to be retained. Giving them away would have been an affront. But the indigenous people understood the value of the gift to be based in reciprocity and would be affronted if the  gifts  did  not  circulate  back  to  them.  

Many  of  our  ancient teachings counsel that whatever we have been given is supposed to be given away again. From the viewpoint of a private property economy, the “gift” is deemed  to  be  “free”  because  we  obtain  it  free  of  charge,  at  no cost. But in the gift economy, gifts are not free. The essence of the gift is that it creates a set of relationships. The currency of a gift economy is, at its root, reciprocity. In Western thinking, private land is understood to be a “bundle of rights,” whereas in a gift economy property has a “bundle of responsibilities” attached.

...

In  material  fact,  Strawberries  belong  only  to  themselves.  The exchange relationships  we  choose  determine  whether  we  share them  as  a  common gift  or  sell  them  as  a  private  commodity. A great  deal  rests  on  that choice.

For  the  greater  part  of  human history, and in places in the world today, common resources were the rule. But some invented a different story, a social construct in which everything is a commodity to be bought and sold. The market economy  story  has  spread  like  wildfire,  with  uneven  results  for human well-being and devastation for the natural world. But it is just a story we have told ourselves and we are free to tell another, to reclaim the old one.

One  of  these  stories  sustains  the  living  systems  on  which  we depend. One of these stories opens the way to living in gratitude and amazement at the richness and generosity of the world. One of these stories asks us to bestow our own gifts in kind, to celebrate our  kinship  with  the  world.  We  can  choose.  If all  the  world  is  a commodity,  how  poor  we  grow.  When  all  the  world  is  a gift  in motion, how wealthy we become.

[chaoticpizzalawyerbiscuit]

Jealousy

Hey hey hey!!!

How are y'all doing? Here's another one, hope you enjoy reading it just as much as i enjoyed writing it!! Just a heads up, this is filthy, long, intense... but it gets a little cute at the very end ;)

Thank you @wickedazriel​ for this request! IT IS AWESOME!!!

✨don’t forget to make your own request✨

• I don’t own any of Sarah J. Mass’ characters or any of her plots, I’m just a fan having fun. Also I do not own the images. This is story is mine though, so please do not copy •

WARNING! cursing, sex... this is a hatefuck one

∞ I see red - Everybody loves an outlaw

Author’s P.O.V.

Y/N was sick and tired of that bullshit. Ever since Elain arrived in Velaris to visit her sisters, Feyre and Nesta, Az was with her. They went to shops, restaurants and pretty much everywhere else. All the damn time.

To worsen it, this last month was rough on their relationship. Loads of work, constant arguments and sleeping on different beds was their new routine, and honestly, Y/N was so done with it. She tried time after time to get him to open up and share what left him so disturbed, like he had other times, but it was in vain. He became more distant, and was currently avoiding her. 

Tonight, she wanted a change. She missed her mate, and just wished it was over. Determined to go talk to Azriel, she headed to Feyre’s house, knowing that he would be there. 

As she walked the streets of the city, the sun was setting and an ocean breeze stirred lightly. It reminded her of when they met, years ago, and their first kiss. Smiling, she remembered those sweet moments, of glimmering glances and tentative touches.

Eventually, she arrived at the house and started to look for Azriel, hoping that the Inner Circle’s meeting was done. Roaming through the corridors, she caught his scent. And Elain’s, she realized with an exasperated sigh. Following it led to the main living room, and she would never be prepared to witness what happened before her eyes. 

Elain and Azriel. 

Kissing.

“What’s going on?”

Azriel turned around, startled. Shit. Holy shit. This is the last thing he needed. Looking into his mate’s eyes, he was panicking. Elain had kissed him, caught him by surprise, hoping he had feelings for her. But he did not want her. Elain has a mate. Elain is not Y/N. 

“Y/N, wait. This is not what you think, just let —

Y/N's bitter laugh cut him off. Stepping closer, she glared at him. “It makes sense now. You acting distant and harsh, ignoring me all this time. How long has this happened.” Her cold voice tugged at his guts. “Actually, don’t answer me. You know, if you didn’t want me around anymore, you should’ve said it. But now it’s crystal clear.” She turned on her heels, and stormed out of the room.

Az moved, holding her wrist.

“Do not dare touch me.” Poison laced her voice, as she met his eyes at last. The anger there was enough to make him flinch, and he let go.

Desperate to get out of there, she stomped away from that place, hair whipping furiously. Tears came to her eyes, but she blinked them away. She had never been this angry, or heartbroken. Hungry for revenge, an idea came to her. Her smirk was devilish. She arrived home, put on his favorite dress, fixed her hair and painted her lips a bloodred tint. And like this, she went out seeking for the main part of the plan. Ace.

Now, Ace was a fae male who worked in the Rainbow. Handsome and with a talent for music, he was a charming male straight out of one of those smutty books Y/N owned. Azriel made sure she knew how much he hated the guy’s guts (with those green eyes and oh so perfect blond hair), even when she never had feelings for Ace.

With a killer look, she walked around Velaris and spotted tonight’s target. She reached him, asked if he wanted to have a drink and dance for a while, and he agreed without hesitance.

So they drank into the night, and he eventually invited her for a dance. She obliged, but as soon as the music started YN regretted it. It felt wrong, like it was missing something.  This wasn’t Az. And she hated herself for being so foolish, in believing that the pain would go away this easy. That his presence would just vanish from her heart, even when it was burned into her soul.

Walking home, she wanted the day to be done. Y/N barely remembered bidding goodbye to a very confused Ace, her mind still clouded with everything that happened. She never expected anything like that from Az, even after years of relationship and many problems faced together.

Y/N reached her apartment, opened the door and found Az waiting for her. Seeing him made her anger rise to the brim, and she wasn’t the only one that was mad.

“You were with Ace?” He seethed, standing up from the couch. His blood boiled at her scent mixed with his.

“Yes.” 

“Why?”

She stilled, drunk in jealousy. 

“Why?! Oh I wonder why. Maybe” walking towards him, pressing his back against a wall “it was because you were kissing dear sweet Elain in the middle of a fucking living room.” They stood closely now “Maybe it’s because I feel like a fucking idiot for falling in love.” Their breaths mingled, and Y/N’s gaze burned him. With anger, with panic, with… desire.

She glanced at his lips. The room was filled by their aroused scent. 

She pounced on him. His lips met her with unwavering hunger, devouring her, and she equaled him. A delightful heat started between her legs and clouded her mind, enhanced by his now roaming hands all over her. A moan left her lips, and she felt him grow hard against her stomach. She palmed him through his pants, and his hips jerked.

Grabbing her wrists, he pushed her against the opposite wall and pinned them above her head. She whined in protest, and pushed her body into his. He went crazy with desire, her dress made her look like a goddess. All he wanted was to put his scent over that male’s.

“Jump” He ordered.

She did, wrapping her legs around him, with his hands now supporting her, fingers digging on her ass.

The kisses now were more important than air itself, their lips greedy for each other. Taking them to the bedroom, the shadowsinger was going mad for her. Y/N was on her own path to insanity, as her hands struggled with the buttons of his shirt and her body begged for more attention. 

He set her down and their kissing halted, overtaken by the need to shed their clothes. Fast. Mere seconds later, the pieces of clothing were discarded on the floor and the frenzy returned.

His mouth was on her lips, her neck, her breasts. Her nipples were rock hard, begging for attention as he wrapped his lips around one, licked, sucked and bit down. Her moans got out of control, thighs clenched together. Moving on to the other nipple, her hands (who had been wandering around his wings) suddenly gripped his throbbing cock, and surprised, he moaned into her chest as he thrust forward against her hand.

Her other hand grabbed his shoulder, and pushed him into the bed. He let himself fall into his back, and she got onto her knees. He will go crazy tonight, she thought, I’ll make him. 

The feeling of her mouth around him made him moan loudly. The view of her hand touching herself as she sucked him off almost made him cum. He gritted his teeth, and tried to hold it. But, with exceptional expertise, she teased him to the edge. And denied him right after. Twice.

Now, ready for more, Y/N stood up, straddled him, guided his shaft to her entrance… and lowered herself. Their moans sounded, and she started to move. Up and down at first, and then she ground into his cock. She pinned him to the bed, as he did with her against the wall.

Azriel lost any scrape of sanity after this. 

Y/N couldn’t control herself, and said

“Does she ride you like this? Do you fuck her like this?”

His eyes glittered with the challenge. Getting out her grip, he freed his arms, slid out of her and flipped them over. Then he flipped her, positioning her on all fours. Slid back in. Grabbed her hair. Pressed his fingers on her clit. And whispered on her ear 

“Does he make you feel this, Y/N?”

Her response was only a sequence of squeals and screams, pleasure crashing into her with violent waves. Their release was close, and the thrusting became faster, sloppier, desperate. Azriel thrust one last time, deep and strong, as pinched her nub, and she came around him. He followed her, getting squeezed by her muscles, tightly and uncontrollably. 

Their exhausted bodies lay entangled on each other, neither daring to move. Azriel slid out of her after a few minutes, and she whimpered softly. Still on the bed with her back to him, Y/N worked up the courage to ask.

“Az, what happened there?” 

He took a deep breath.

“Elain is having trouble with Lucien and their relationship, she talked to me a lot about it. There’s a lot of crap going on between them, and I advised her as a friend. Exclusively as someone who wants the best for her.” His mate remained in silence, and that quiet despair started to take over him once again.

“Y/N," he touched her exposed back gently, “turn around and talk to me. Please.”

A beat of silence went by. Two. On the third she moved, and their eyes met. His bared nothing but honesty and love.

“I love you, Y/N. My mate, my best friend, my everything. I truly did not expect a kiss from Elain, and I have no interest in another. I’m yours.”

And hers bared nothing but thankfulness and adoration.

“Thank you for being honest with me, Az. I believe you,” he let out a breath of relief at the words, “ and I’m sorry. I acted wrongly in going to Ace, in not hearing you and in dumping my insecurities on this.” 

“What went on between the two of you?”

“We had drinks, he asked me to dance. I said yes, and lasted for half a song. Because it wasn’t you.”

Azriel said nothing, and her heart broke a little more. 

"Can you forgive me?”, she asked, her voice nothing more than a whisper.

He looked into her eyes, and thanked the Mother for such a stunning, courageous and honest female in his life.

“Yes.” She smiled brightly at his reply, touching their foreheads. “Can you forgive me? For making you feel insecure and for staying so distant? I shouldn’t have shut you out”

“I can, Az. And please, let’s not do this again.”

“Oh absolutely, it was dreadful” the shadowsinger agreed, and leaned in to kiss her lips, the trouble now forgotten.

And so they kissed.

Once.

Twice.

Their hands started to–

Well, you know what happens next...

-From A.

Ps: talk to me, make some requests 😁 my box is open

[trickfootpike]

OKAYOKAYOKAY now that i've had a few nights to Ruminate here are way too many thoughts from 9/16's show -- fair warning that they aren't *super* coherent as a lot of this i just tried to loosely organize from dms i threw at folks night-of, but it is most of what i remember sticking out to me!

GENERAL THOUGHTS --

last saw the show in august of 2019 - back then i saw it up in the mezzanine, this time i was 7 rows back dead center in the middle of the orchestra. watching the show from the mezzanine feels like a god's eye view of the show while sitting up close in the orchestra is much more like being in the world of men, and how it hits in hadestown particularly is just nuts bc you really do feel like you're on the factory floor.

back in the London production i remember eva playing eurydice with more youth and hope to her, and when the show came to Broadway eurydice hardened. in a world with a pandemic eva seems to have actually shifted this back! Eurydice is still holding tightly onto Orpheus Knowing that the world is unlikely to be kind enough to let them have each other for long but she starts off less faithless than she used to, I suppose I would describe it? she's definitely played more open with others from the beginning rather than having it be something she has to really work towards!

WAIT FOR ME IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT FEELING FROM THE ORCHESTRA THAN THE MEZZANINE AND NOT JUST THE LAMPS. the lamps really only swing out to over the first 2 rows, speaking very generously, anyway. what i remember being most impactful from last time was how the whole theater rumbled as the walls of the set split to reveal hadestown. what i couldn't see and afaik no boot's been able to pick up is the the set ALSO SPLITS AND STRETCHES OPEN AT THE TOP. that awning that covers the balcony lifts and the wall of hadestown is revealed to stretch floor to ceiling and it is just so much, so fucking much oh my god i could not stop hysterically blubbering to myself watching hadestown stretch open like it is absolutely here to devour you whole. it makes you feel the immensity of The Wall. I've linked ig videos of the set pre act 1 and post intermission to give like the best perspective on it i can and tried to film them so they were zoomed as closely as to what my eyes were seeing as I could, but here are also some pictures!

PRE ACT ONE

INTERMISSION

after our lady of the underground when eurydice comes back from hades' office and Persephone is finishing with her show, me being closer this time i was actually able to see amber's face during way down hadestown ii and flowers. and how she portrays seph's feelings re eurydice, it's like : genuine concern and watching over her when she first starts on the line, Quiet Seething and Jealous Rage as the fates' tattle "Hades put his hands on ya" that sticks for a While including the first half of flowers, but as soon as eurydice remembers the meadow her and Orpheus visited her heart just b r e a k s and you can see her wiping away tears. seph's just so caught in her own feelings of helplessness in hadestown. when hades tells her to stay out of him dealing with Orpheus all the fight just deflates out of her and the direct accusing look Orpheus gives her at the end of if it's true mixed with seeing his effect on the workers makes her physically rear back like she's gotten the fight slapped back into her

even with this audience who almost for sure has all seen ht before, there was still the loudest heartbroken gasp when orpheus turned. i know everyone calls this out but it still hit me hard that with a greater percentage of previous viewers in the audience it still hit us all like a fucking brick

and ofc. road to hell ii. it's a millions times more impactful than it already was what with the pandemic, making it through hard times and how they could be hard again but making the best of them even if it doesn't turn out well this time either. i was crying so hard last time but this time i was crying harder but also feeling like a huge weight was being like, very softly cradled in my chest to take some of the burden away

TOM'S HADES/HADES AND PERSEPHONE SPECIFIC THOUGHTS --

Tom's Hades whole tl;dr could be that Hades is a Performance. all those descriptions of him beign "jazzy" and "egodriven" are correct, but there is also this massive vibe he gives off that all his showmanship is there as a cover up for the very pessimistic man at the core of him. when him and persephone are getting along the jazziness is there for genuine playfulness with her, but apart from seph it is a purposeful exaggeration on hades' part to get Whatever it is that he wants. he is playing up aggression as king (see papers) and what he thinks as being suave (see hey little songbird) to maintain his throne and his marriage, and Epic III is the Destruction of that performance. Tom's Hades at the end of Epic III isn't trying to sell anyone anything, you just get to see the suddenly very scared and unsure heart of the man behind the performance of foreman and king. And oh boy is Tom's Hades at his heart unsure. He is so fucking pessimistic; back in Act 1 when Orpheus starts to sing Epic I he turns from Persephone even before she gets reminded of the world above and starts longing for it, because he already expects to see it coming and he doesn't turn back to her Ever Again, literally until he comes to get her in Way Down Hadestown. Not even when she gives him a kiss on the cheek goodbye. His Kiss, The Riot is him trying to figure out how the hell he's gonna be able to rebuild his performance after his whole kingdom saw through it, but he also ends it being so very certain that the deal he figures out for Orpheus Will end with Orpheus failing somehow. There is no doubt in this very pessimistic Hades that doubt will come in, whereas Patrick used the end of His Kiss The Riot almost like he was desperately trying to justify that his doubt came to him only in Persephone's absence

road to hell i: tom's hades loves cheering on the band so much he is Part Of The Problem that Hermes has to get to chill out and it makes so much sense for this jazzy dramatic motherfucker

balcony time (road to hell i until livin' it up on top): when they were upstairs playing dominoes they kept laying their tiles with these overexaggerated movements.. Like when they actually getting along they are so damn flirty and trying so hard to make each other smile and laugh and it is TOO CUTE

way down hadestown: Once Again "I missed ya" gives me no rest, mostly because Tom delivered it with this super coy and cocky grin and Amber immediately smiled back at him like Persephone couldn't help herself

chant i: is spent with him looking up proud into his creation while persephone is looking down with heartbreak and disgust seeing the workers as people in suffering and the ugliness of hadestown. as the song goes on he gets increasingly frustrated like a child who's super proud of the drawing he brought home from school that Persephone has nothing but terrible things to say about. when eurydice starts singing about her suffering seph throws out her arm and points to her like "see! See what you're doing!!" while hades is more in himself processing his disappointment, frustration, heartbreak, but over the next minute you start to see him Formulating A Plan as he watches eurydice. but he doesn't look entirely sold on going through with it until seph throws out her last verse in disgust. it was absolutely the straw that broke the camel's back.

hey little songbird: THO IT SOUNDS SO SEDUCTIVE ON AUDIO. OML DOES IT LEAN INTO EURYDICE'S "STRANGE MAN" DESCRIPTOR. HADES IS LIKE THE CREEPY SALESMAN ON THE CORNER WITH WATCHES AND A TRENCHCOAT. BUT HE'S SELLING HIS SHIT WELL, HE'S JUST ALSO A WEIRDO

Why We Build The Wall/"Behind Closed Doors": That followup on hades' threat when eurydice arrives in hadestown. as hades goes to the stairs he like not whacks, but definitely nudges seph's arm harder than Patrick does to get her attention. when he did she Startled and laid her hand over her arm where he'd tapped her like she was overwhelmed by just that touch........ but then she turns around and watches him take Eurydice up and when he opens his coat and she Realizes you see her whole body go slack. once eurydice goes past the office doors hades turns and lingers staring pointedly down at seph, for *seconds* whereas with patrick i remember it being more of a pointed glance. it drills home that hades is doing this specifically to spite seph and he wants her to know it. and you can see amber discreetly wipe her face before she turns back to "does anybody want a DRINK." there's less direct seduction between hades and eurydice but more explicit threat between hades and seph about eurydice

papers: actually isn't too much Bastärde as it is his Performance. HOWEVER, the way he directs the workers to beat Orpheus is chilling. Like patrick he hangs around, but he's watching until the last 10 seconds so it's way longer. And he makes like the smallest gestures with his hand to direct the workers to the different stages of beating Orpheus, fuck it was twisted

how long: how long actually starts with seph and hades seemingly coming to each other on a similar page - hades came out pensively fiddling with his wedding ring and Amber delivered "I know" like seph was already past the eurydice situation. this also could have been a product of time and seeing how actually little he did "seducing" eurydice lmao

chant ii: very much Hades Sees Orpheus As A Threat™️ (more on this further below) , also dare i say it but tom kills I CONDUCT THE ELECTRIC CITY

epic iii: oh man oh man. he looks so untouched until Orpheus starts the lalas and he goes from completely passive unimpressed face to like. his body unfolds on his stool and his hands go slack and he looked between Orpheus and Persephone when he asked where Orpheus had gotten his melody. he asked it a lot softer than I expected him too as well. a big part of the audience actually laughed when Hades sang his lala because Tom cracks his voice during it but it petered off into sniffling when they realized why and then we were all just crying together as persephone placed the flower in his vest.

lovers desire: SOME VERY CUTE STUFF. hades' performance is broken but tom's hades is still a Jazzy Jazzy Man at heart and they're like 100 times more playful with each other - they're both giggling and grinning their asses off while they dance together and give each other these like nudges to the next series of steps and it was adorable and I was discretely sobbing. they both played it like they knew how to do this dance with each other better than they knew anything, the little nudges were like..... them playing inside this dance they already knew so well? Like more overexaggeration to make each other laugh and just revel in this wonderful thing they've rediscovered- specifically I remember that Amber raised her skirt soooooo high when she was doing the curtsey and Tom was like waggling his eyebrows at her and adding extra flourishes with his hands and widening his eyes super big everytime he pulled off a move (the funniest ones were when they do like the two-step where they move one after another in sequence and he's copying her moves in reverse and oml it was just adorable). When Seph had the move where she pulls their linked arms over his head to tuck him into her I remember that was the one part where he wasn't doing this goofy act but his expression straight up melted and he looked so smitten. and when it's the last bit of the dance and he spins her across the stage, seph's face breaks open with tears his expression responds with like this mix of heartbreak and "ohhhhh no baby please don't cry" as he moved across the stage to quickly take her into his arms for the dip at the end

AFTER this when orphydice has finished promises and right before Orpheus turns to ask Hades if they can go, they come out of slow dancing to the side but are still super wrapped up in each other - seph wraps herself around one of his arms and presses herself super close and Tom leaned down with this little smile like Hades was gonna try and steal a quick kiss, but then he hears/sees out of the corner of his eye/senses or something Orpheus approaching and pulls himself up and formal to be the king. When he says I don't know and seph wrenches herself away from him to the other side of the stage to firmly stand behind Orphydice he gets this look of Extreme Frustration on that she's still not standing with him and these damn kids are still more important, bc even with character growth he still is a petty selfish bitch who does not like to share lmao, he's just getting that he Has To now

wait for me ii: Hades stays onstage by the microphone stand to the left to watch Hermes deliver his judgement to orphydice/seph/the workers and watching Tom during this was a Treat. this is the first time he's seeing how orphydice and esp Orpheus function when he's not involved to terrify them. they're so sweet and so good, and they have what looks like so much unwavering faith in each other unlike him and seph, maybe they really could... so when he delivers "i let them try" that last word is stretched with so much wonder. he's getting this first glimpse into feeling how everyone else felt when orpheus sang of how the world could be that isn't just focused in about how he feels about persephone, which always drives him - now he's having to deal with the Greater Implications and orpheus' seemingly unbreakable faith in a better world rocks him to his core. that certainty that orpheus would fail gets shaken as he watches them and when Seph asks him if he thinks they'll make it, his I Don't Know is 1/2 defensive and 1/2 actual uncertainty. he still hates to be wrong but he's wondering if his beliefs about doubt will turn out differently this time. he isn't optimistic about it by any means but orpheus, eurydice, and the workers' response to them both does give him pause

meanwhile in hades and persephone's section, on a personal level they deliver their lines to each other like they're a great deal more nervous about what next fall will bring than i've seen and heard before - something I'm thinking stems from hades' worldview being so suddenly shaken and seph too being a little more vulnerable?

MISC THOUGHTS

Tom seems to be leaning into Hades not having done anything with Eurydice other than tempt her down - once she's in Hadestown even during Why We Build The Wall he drops the salesman croon entirely and when he does rarely speak to her/about her it's commanding as a king who sees her just as another object under his possession, with very little interest in her for anything at all beyond that. he was just going after the goal of making sure Seph knew he had Options whether or not he actually pursued them

tom is super dedicated to how power-hungry hades is. I remember when I saw Patrick during chant ii he was playing hades as more affected by how much seph seemed to care about the workers now and desperately trying to get her attention back (even negatively), Tom was more consumed in seeing Orpheus as a threat because of how effectively he had turned his "children" on him. He knocks Seph down in those "shackle her from wrist to wrist" less as a personal petty attack to her like Patrick does and more like to try and destabilize her as someone backing Orpheus up. Tom's Hades perceives Orpheus as a Threat no matter how much he plays up his Performance as Nonchalant Jazzy King. he really emphasizes Hades' relationship to Orpheus whereas Patrick played more into his relationship with Eurydice, which makes so much sense what with Tom's Hades being a pettier more egotistical messy bitch obsessed with his kingdom and Patrick's Hades' obsession being his wife and Hadestown being like, this side-effect of being a god that he just couldn't help, he Had to build and strive for power whereas Tom's Hades reveled in it and wanted it. Instinct versus drive I guess. one of my buds put it super well as: "Patrick!Hades sees everything as a threat to his power Tom!Hades is so certain of his power that he can afford to be somewhat nonchalant but the fact that Orpheus alone is his main genuine threat is fucking brilliant"

and ok for now, that's what I've got! if anyone wants any clarification or wants to ask details about specific moments I didn't put in here feel free to shoot me an ask!

[k-s-morgan]

I understand liking hannigram,merthur and sebaciel but destiel? What makes you ship it really? Dean is the straightest character i have ever watched.

Oh, I really have to disagree with this! Even without Castiel, who Dean is in love with on both subtextual and pretty much textual levels, I cannot see him as anything other than bisexual. Dean’s emotional repression is a huge part of his character. Embracing his sexuality, his softer nature, his quirks is a very long journey that stretches for all 15 seasons, and while it's still not resolved fully by the end, it comes pretty close to it.

I think it's a beautiful contrast to see Dean, who starts out as a walking stereotype of a straight masculine guy that has sex with every passing woman, abhors 'chick flick' moments, and desperately tries to earn the approval of his toxic father, gradually transform into a man who loves cooking, who sings ridiculous songs out loud, wears silly pajamas, underwear, and other clothes he wouldn’t be caught dead in before, who hasn't bothered to sleep with a woman in years and who openly enjoys domesticity. The Dean who loved putting on pink female underwear yet considered it shameful is still there, but now he's much more open about his personality - he's a happier and freer version of who he was. Sexuality and feelings for Castiel are just a part of this big picture.

About destiel and Cas in particular: he and Dean share an endless amount of both text and subtext. I've also never seen more mirroring with other romantic couples than the writers do with them. Here's a couple of fan edits that display just some of such mirroring.

Longer video

A shorter one with parallels between Destiel and Sam's love interests in particular.

Dean is a man who always wanted a family and a person who would love him unconditionally, and he always ended up hurt. As an abused child forced to grow up early, he's completely love starved, and his self-esteem is non-existent. He and Sam have an unhealthy relationship because Dean doesn't understand that people grow up and move on to build their families - Sam does, and this creates a rift between them.

Dean: “You and me and Dad—I mean, I want us….I want us to be together again. I want us to be a family again.”

This shows the state of Dean's mind and his views on love. Dean wants to stay with someone forever. He craves loving and being loved, he longs for constant contact. He wants to share his life with someone, and in his mind, it can only happen with Sam and John because they are the only people he knows how to love. It doesn't matter how flawed their family is, it's all Dean's got. Unconsciously, he's trying to assign the role of a life partner to Sam and John, and obviously, this could never work.

Like Sam says, "Dean, we *are* a family. I’d do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before."

The script adds: "Dean looks heartbroken."

But Sam is right. Their co-dependency emerged because in their childhood, they had no one else. No friends, no meaningful connections, no long-term bonds. And as life has it, most family members drift apart with time: they still love each other, sure, but they pursue different interests and they start their own families. Dean doesn't get it. Sam is ready to open his heart to others, but Dean isn't - this is all he knows and he’s too scared and too emotionally closed off to learn.

And that's why observing him with Castiel later is so fascinating. There is suddenly an angel of the Lord who worships him, who structures his whole existence around him, who loves him and values him above everyone else. And finally, after all those years, Dean starts to understand it. He's still fiercely attached to the concept of family, but it begins to expand, and the more he clings to Castiel, the more he lets go of Sam, the healthier and more balanced their relationship becomes. Sam finally becomes a brother who has his own life but who'll always be there if needed; Castiel becomes someone who is going to be there always, period. And Dean can finally become truly happy. Cas helped Dean feel special and loved in a way he's never been before, and this very premise is something I really love. I could probably write a novel about their dynamic alone :D

I think the fact that Dean is in love with Castiel back is confirmed canonically after Cas' confession, when Lucifer, who only ever turned into people's love interests, took Cas' form for Dean. To me, though, Dean's feelings were textually confirmed back in S10, when he expressed that there are "people" and "feelings" he'd like to experience for the first time, and in S11, after Amara's clone told him she senses love in his heart that's cloaked in shame (and we know it wasn't about an actual Amara). There are plenty of moments like this and plenty of men apart from Castiel that help illustrate Dean’s bisexuality.

[aliceinteyvat]

Genshin Impact Idol AU ideas

So we all know the groups Veechu made with 4nemo, DCKZ, L/yue and, TVT DREAM however, I thought it was a crime the actual idol Barbara wasn’t in a group so, I made my own! I do not have the skills to draw this so, I will be including concept photos by actual groups(older and newer as well as the time in those examples i think suits them just for an example bts run era - dope era for a boy group) for the general vibe. Click on their names for a link to the kpop wiki about them. I also won’t include Lumine because many fans have made their own headcanons for that I like.

Feel free to use the ideas I added to this in fanworks just please credit me for the idea of the groups I made myself if you do. All will be under the read more so mobile users don’t break their fingers trying to scroll past. Wiki links are included for each real world inspiration. If looking for a specific character use ctrl+f on PC to search for them to make your life easier.

Note: their stories can be changed if you would like to make it different for your art/writing/whatever. I just think a bit of drama makes them feel more real. None of the stories are 100% based on any real group even their inspirations aren’t direct copies. As new characters are released/shown in stories I will be adding onto existing groups I made up or, making new ones so if you like my ideas save this and come back to it.

                             7evelUp! [pronounced Level Up!]

A rookie girl group created from the top seven trainees(voted by judges & public vote) in a survival show that quickly gained international fame from their debut single and, performance. No one doubts their talents however, some question how legitimate the voting/ranking was in the show.  No one blames the girls themselves for this and, there is no real evidence to prove this. All of the members believe the show to be real due to their own experiences too although, a few of them due to their low self-esteem believe other trainees would’ve been better suited in the group even if they are thankful for the support. It will take a while for all of them to adjust and, have it all feel real. Will they rise to super stardom or, crack under the immense pressure?

- Members

Amber (leader, main dancer) 3rd place(got the leader position because she is the one who brought every team she was in together to usually win the challenges showing her leadership skills not from ranking)

Barbara (main vocalist,maknae,center) 1st place

Noelle (lead dancer,visual) 6th place

Sucrose (lead vocalist) 7th place

Xiangling (lead dancer, lead rapper)  5th place

Yanfei (main rapper,oldest) 2nd place

Yoimiya (lead rapper, vocalist) 4th place

- Real World Inspirations

Weeekly(Tag Me era - 7Days Tension era)

Girls’ Generation(Into the New World era-Gee era)

TWICE(Like Ooh Aah era - Heart Shaker era)

                                                                                                         SYZYGY

An unconventional girl group with a unique sound. Despite their enormous amount of talent/skill , they haven’t been as successful as their small company had hoped. However, they continue to invest everything they can into this group much to the displeasure of the other idols under the company. Will their burning hot passion find success with the masses or, will they disband early leaving their company in complete ruin?

- Members

Hu Tao (leader, main rapper, vocalist)

Fischl (lead vocalist, lead rapper, maknae)

Mona (lead dancer, vocalist, visual)

Rosaria (main dancer, vocalist, rapper, oldest)

Xinyan (main vocalist, dancer,center)

- Real World Inspirations

Dreamcatcher (Chase Me era - Odd Eye era)

1NB (Stalker era - Once again, Winter era)

                                    1MP@CT [prounced Impact]

A previously underrated boy group that seemingly appeared out of thin air on the #1 spots of all major top music charts. Most attribute their overnight success to their newest song going viral on social media but, some who work within their company secretly wonder if it has anything to do with the CEO’s private life and, the new anonymous investors. Regardless, they have made a name for themselves. They have a work ethic like no other and, will do whatever necessary to rise to the top. Even though fans are starting to worry their agency is pushing them too far. Will they become legendary performers the kind that future generations remember by name or, will their boss’ dirty little secrets make them guilty by association to the press when/if the time comes?

- Members     

Baizhu (leader, lead vocalist, lead dancer)

Dainsleif (main rapper, lead dancer, maknae)

Scaramouche (main dancer, lead rapper, oldest, center)

Albedo (main vocalist,visual)

- Real World Inspirations

Big Bang (Fantastic Baby era - Bang Bang Bang era)

ATEEZ (Wonderland era - Fireworks era)

B.A.P (Badman era - Hands Up era)

                                                    DoDoCo

A junior girl group for kids/tweens made(and managed) by Alice to promote her daughter Klee and, have her gain experience for her dream of being a real idol. Although they perform, act, model and, release music similar older groups they still are children so, their concepts are always wholesome feel-good things to appeal to kid’s even younger their age or, younger. They also don’t have the same restrictions or, work hours due to their age. This group is very popular with Elementary schoolers and, sometimes even their families but, can be annoying to anyone older due to how cheesy it all is.

(Note: I don’t personally agree with kids being idols irl especially some I’ve seen that look like older teen/adult idols it’s scary. However, since it is a thing that exists and, this is a fictional head canon let’s pretend this is a world where none of them get hurt and can live pretty normal lives during & after their time as idols if they choose to do so. I just didn’t want to leave a playable character/important story character out of the AU entirely. Also, Sayu would be here but since she’s not officially released yet and, we don’t know any story about her I think it’s best for her to join later.)

- Members

Klee (leader, main dancer, vocalist, maknae,center)

Diona (main rapper, dancer)

Qiqi (vocalist, oldest)

Yaoyao (main vocalist, rapper)

- Real World Inspirations

RE:KIDS ANGEL (Ocean era) note: also their only era so far it seems but, apparently RE:KIDS is a larger thing with many other kids kpop groups so I assume others would have a similar concept.

CutieL (Debut era - Jungle Journey era)

                                                Dandelion

A girl group that has stayed at the top for the past 7 years known for their elegant concepts although, they have had other concepts in the past(sexy, cute, etc.). Not only is Dandelion super famous but, each member has their own solo careers just as successful. Outside of the group Jean is known for her solo albums and, charity work. Lisa is known for her modelling career and, secretly is a successful author under a pen name. Eula is known for her many wins on dancing contest shows and, the many important roles she plays in dramas. Since this year marks the dreaded 7 year curse fans worry they might disband or, go on a permanent hiatus. Before this year they seemed inseparable to fans but, something happened during their last tour. Jean and, Lisa who were known to be best friends suddenly won’t even sit next to each other. Eula who was usually more reserved during interviews is having to do most of the work since they’re just awkwardly sitting on the opposite sides of her. Eula has never been the best at public speaking and, her blunt responses are causing antis to go on huge smear campaigns on social media. Jean who previously wanted to renew her contract is thinking about starting her own company. Lisa who previously wanted to renew her contract now wants to leave and, join a modelling agency. Eula still wants to renew her contract but, she doesn’t want to be solo yet. She is trying her hardest to get the group back together but, her harsh personality is only making the problem worse she feels. Will they stay together or, will they split? And if they stay together, will it be the same Dandelion fans fell in love with or, are some bridges burned forever?

- Members

Jean (leader, main vocalist, center, dancer)

Lisa (main rapper, visual, sub vocalist, oldest)

Eula (main dancer, vocalist, maknae)

- Real World Inspirations

IZ*ONE (Violeta era - Panorama era)

GFRIEND (Sunrise era - Mago era)

TWICE (Fancy era - Alcohol Free era)

Solo Idols

- Ayaka

From a wealthy Inazuman family Kamisato Ayaka (known as Ayaka) shocked the entire nation when she decided to stop pursuing traditional dance(which she had earned many honors and, was famous for since she was a small child) and, instead go overseas to become an idol. Due to her connections it wasn’t long after becoming a trainee that she was put on the same survival show that formed 7evelUp!. However, her good luck ran out when after filming she got into an accident in her company’s car on the way to her company’s trainee dorms. Thankfully, no one was seriously injured but, she sustained an injury to her ankle that made her unable to perform for the rest of the show and, therefore was disqualified. She was a fan favorite and, everyone was heartbroken that she couldn’t compete. Due to her popularity, her company decided that if she could prove she was able to work after being healed they would let her have a solo debut. She far surpassed their expectations being even better than she was before, resulting in her debuting the same time 7evelUp! did. She doesn’t have any negative feelings towards those girls but, she views them as her rivals. She is quickly gaining popularity for her insane talent in singing, dancing, acting, modelling and, song-writing. She is known to the media as “The Idol Princess” for her family’s wealth, her talent and, her graceful demeanor. Don’t put her into a box though, she can pull off any concept with ease. The question is though, will her company allow her the freedom to express herself to the fullest?

- Real World Inspirations

Note: I am not saying she would be super similar to these artist’s work but, I am saying she has the range and, the potential to reach this level of fame. Since I can’t pinpoint a single solo artist that has what I think she would do I’ll put the ones I think have the insane talent and fame I think she would have as well as a similar feeling although it will take a while for her to get to their level

- IU

- Taeyeon

That was all of the Genshin Impact characters that I know enough about currently to feel comfortable making headcanons for them! Let me know what you think and if you make fanfic of or fanart of these ideas please credit me for these specifically and veechu for the idea of the idol au in general! Feel free to spread this post around if you want to or repost it too with credit. I also would love it if you tagged me if it’s on here or would be kind enough to send me a link to your work/work you find of it.

[willwriteforhugs]

in vino veritas- song mingi (part two)

bestfriend! mingi x reader- part two of two !

~childhood friends to lovers au~

word count: 2.1k

genre: angst, fluff

synopsis: after your lifelong best-friend confesses his love for you, the two of you have to deal with the emotional (and very embarrassing) repercussions.

warnings: drunkenness, a minor hangover

if you haven’t read part one, please do so! find it here :)

a/n: HUGE apologies about how long this conclusion took! i took a *long* break from writing right after i said i’d write this... *face palm* but i still had a couple of people who really wanted to see this, and i’m hoping they still do! (or did they give up on me...?) anyways, thank you so much for the continued support, even while i was absent. happy reading, and i hope your heart doesn’t break in two<3

- allison

- - -

“please. please love me again.”

the words are like a smack to the face. they sting, the same way a slap does- and for a moment you can’t breathe. in that moment, you wish he had just hit you, because it would feel nearly the same. but you know mingi more than you know yourself, and he hasn’t hit you since you were children. he never would. 

mingi looks down at you, his face contorted in what you assume is a sort of drunken sadness. finally, you form a coherent thought.

no, no, no. you just can’t do this.

your hands are trembling, you notice. you slowly take your hand from him, backtracking a few steps until your back is against the wall. he doesn’t fight it, and he doesn’t break eye contact once.

“love me again...”

you never thought you’d hear those words come out of his mouth. no. how could he do this? reject you as a lovestruck high schooler without a second thought, but then pull this four years later? it’s sick. it’s sick because you were heartbroken. because you still are.

it’s sick because despite every ounce of your body wanting to reject him, to push him away- there is a small part of you that wants to say yes. to say yes, yes, yes, i will love you again, and it will be so easy, because i never stopped. 

“y/n-ah.” 

mingi’s voice sounds husky- the way it sounds right after he wakes up, or when he eats something particularly bitter.

it’s also how his voice sounds when he’s terribly, terribly sad, and you wish you didn’t know these things about him. 

“y/n, listen to me.” his eyes bore into yours, and he begins to stutter again. “i was an idiot, saying the things i did. i know- i know i felt that way at the time, but- but dear god, if i’d known what i was going to lose? i just..”

“mingi.” to your own surprise, your voice is a stark contrast to his- it’s clear and sharp. decisive. “i need you to stop.”

your counterpart cringes.

“listen,” you plow on. “you. are. drunk. you do not understand what you are saying, but understand this- you’ve upset me.”

finally, your voice breaks a little. “you broke my heart, mingi, and i haven’t forgotten. but i don’t want to remember. so here’s what we are going to do- i am going to go to bed, in my room, and i am going to be alone. somehow i still have an obligation to help you, so you will sleep right here, on this couch. tomorrow morning you will take an advil, call a car, and leave my home. understood?”

you see mingi’s eyes begin to water, and the crack in your chest seems to expand. 

“don’t.” you whisper. “don’t do this to me.”

mingi looks down at the floor for a moment, and finally, having decided to remain quiet, sinks onto the sofa. you turn to leave the room, but as you leave, he calls out again;

“i’m sorry, y/n.”

you just manage to get your bedroom door shut before the sobs start. 

- - - 

you wish you could stay in the dark forever.

the light streaming through your windows is just so invasive...

but maybe the real reason you don’t wish to get up is the man currently sprawled across your living room couch.

god, what even happened last night? will he even remember the things he said?

a part of you- well, most of you- hopes he doesn’t. that would surely simplify things. but even so, you also kind of hope he does remember.

you want to know if he meant it. 

- - -

finally, you sit up in bed, stretching your arms out. when you manage to stand up as well, you beeline for the bathroom.

a quick glance in the mirror confirms your previous suspicions- your face is puffy, from all of the crying. 

good god, the crying...

you know he could hear you, and you are humiliated. not that you think of crying as a bad thing, not inherently- but you have almost never cried in front of mingi, and to think you did last night. and that it was because of him...

you shove your insecurities aside and wash your face. you throw on a simple outfit, and finally you come to stare at your door.

sighing, you open it as quietly as you can. maybe he’ll still be asleep, and you can slip out unnoticed? 

but no such luck. mingi is sitting on the couch, his feet propped up. he doesn’t hold a phone, and the tv isn’t on. not a book in sight- he’s just staring up at the ceiling. 

you close your eyes as they begin to sting.

you can’t believe the effect he’s had on you all these years- and that you’d managed to ignore it for so long. but you can’t ignore it anymore, not with it being the main cause of your pain the past day.

biting your tongue, you step into view. mingi immediately notices you, and shoots into a more presentable position.

“y/n-ah.”

you pause to meet his eyes. “i thought i’d told you to leave.”

mingi frowns slightly. “and i thought i’d elect to ignore that part of our conversation.”

so he does remember.

shit.

“are you hungover?” you ask.

“only a bit.” he responds stiffly.

you heave a sigh, and the two of you look at each other for a moment, the air stuffy and thick with tension.

you break the silence with a strained whisper. “are we gonna do this?”

mingi doesn’t hesitate to respond, though his voice is no louder than yours was.  “i think we have to.”

you frown, knowing he’s right.

but it hurts, and you wish more than anything it was an ache you could ignore. but your heart has been slowly dying for years now- a fact that you are now painfully aware of.

is it too late to fix it?

before you can say anything more, mingi continues to talk.

“first of all, y/n- i just. i’m so sorry. for coming here last night. i was drunk and i was sad and i didn’t know where else to go.”

“why didn’t you just go home?” you can’t help but sound slightly bitter.

“do you believe me when i say i didn't even think to? all i knew is that i wanted to see you.”

you inhale sharply, and years of sadness burn the back of your eyes. “mingi, i don’t care that you came here in the first place. but i care about the havoc you wreaked when you did.” you stumble over your words. “you- you said you loved me.”

his face is filled with some sort of resignment, but he keeps his eyes on you. “i know i did.”

“why?”

“because i do.”

heat claws its way up your neck, and you feel the first of the tears begin to flow. “no. you can’t- please, mingi, you can’t just come in here and say that. not after- not after what you did to me.”

mingi bites his lip hard, now looking at the floor. his eyes are wet. “i know that.” his voice sounds pained. “i know that, y/n. that’s why i never intended on telling you... apparently the beer had other plans.”

“what do you mean, ‘never intended’?” you snap. “you mean to say you’ve been in love with me for- for what, a time- even after you told me it would never happen?”

“i was young, y/n! i still am young, but god- i was 16! i didn’t even know what love was! and if you had ever asked me in these recent years-” his voice cracks, and his face displays years of cleverly disguised pain. “if you’d asked me what my biggest regret was, i would have said you. i would have said turning down the love of my life because i was a pubescent idiot.”

even through the tears, you manage to snort at this. 

after a moment, mingi manages a half-hearted smile. “so, uh- are you still trying to kick me out?”

“not really.” you mumble. “but that doesn’t mean i’m happy with you.”

when he doesn’t say anything, you force yourself to continue, even through the tears. “i’m just surprised. you know- do you remember what you told me? you told me that it was just a crush, so you were letting me down easy. but- mingi-ah, it was never just a crush... i loved you, i really did.”

mingi lets a small sigh escape his mouth, and moves to stand in front of you. he gently brushes your hand with his- an invitation. and against your better will, you reach out and take it.

“do you think,” he whispers. “do you think you still could?”

another fat teardrop rolls down your cheek. “that sounds a lot like what you said last night, and you were really drunk.” you whisper back.

“i’m not drunk.” mingi murmurs. “drunk in love, maybe.”

“you’re an idiot.”

“obviously.”

“and i hate you.”

“mmhmm.”

“please kiss me.”

and he does.

his lips crash against yours, and you actually give a small yelp of surprise. but the surprise is overwhelmed by the instant rush of emotion you feel- mingi kisses you with an intensity you’ve never experienced. like at any moment he might lose you, like there really is no tomorrow.

he parts his lips along with yours, slipping his tongue into your mouth. you actually feel your knees weaken a bit- but the moment passes, and he moves away from your mouth. he leans downwards and places slow, deliberate kisses along your neck. your hands are tangled in his hair, and his are on your hips. and then it hits you- you are kissing song mingi- the boy whom you vowed to never touch, the boy you always knew you wanted. 

the kiss is a kiss of passion- of regret, of betrayal, of bitterness and of love. it is unlike anything you’ve known. it’s fully fueled by the destroyed hearts of two people who love each other too much.

you never want it to end.

the kiss is everything and nothing, beautiful and painful. it’s all that mingi has ever been.

suddenly, mingi pulls away from you, ending the kiss abruptly. you jerk back in surprise, face burning. had you done something wrong? what the hell were you thinking? you two should be at each other’s throats-

mingi interrupts your thoughts as he grasps your hand in his, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours. “are you alright?” he murmurs.

you glance up, having nearly forgotten that you were in literal tears only minutes before. “yeah, i’m- i’m okay. are you?” on the inside, you wonder. why did he stop? what are we doing? is this okay?

“honestly? i don’t know.”

your brief high falters.

“y/n.” his voice is serious again. “please, y/n. is this really what you want?”

he’s worried that i’m just doing this to fix things.

“mingi.” you force him to meet your eyes. the room is dead silent, and your voice is a little raspy, but it needs to be said. you need to say it, you just do.  “i love you.”

the moment washes over the room like a cool breeze. mingi’s eyes soften to a look of love and concern, and a small smile quirks at his lips. “what? you mean it?”

a moment ago, you were actually scared that you wouldn’t- but now that it was said...

“yes. stars, yes. i love you- i’ve loved you as long as i’ve known you, but i think i was so scared of that love- and of yours- that i shoved it away. but i do, and i’m sure i always will.”

“i love you too.” he manages. “and maybe i didn’t mean to get drunk and say all the things i did, but- but i don’t think i regret it. because i love you, and want to take back everything i said all those years ago. cause i loved you then, too, i just didn’t know it. i hurt you, and that almost ruined this for us. so will you help me make it up to you?”

“how?” you murmur, a feeling of nervous anticipation washing over you.

“let me kiss you a little longer.”

you smile, knowing that even though things aren’t totally fixed yet- and the two of you have a long way to go- you still have gotten him back. mingi. your best friend. your love. your life.

“gladly.”

[give-seconds]

Sweet Lies

Summary: Sungchan wants to tell you something but is scared to do it face to face. So, he decides to write you letters telling you everything he wants to say.

Paring: Sungchan x female reader

Genre: Angst 

Warnings: cheating

Word count: 2.3K

---

Hi y/n,

I don’t know if you’re ever going to get these. I mean, as of right now, my intention isn’t to give you them. I guess these letters, like the reason they even exist, are for me. Through these letters, I hope to tell you everything I wish I had the guts to say to your face. I wish I could say this was all a mistake and that I could man up and beg for your forgiveness. But it isn’t a mistake. This is a conscious decision I made once and am continuing to make again.

Maybe you’ll even forgive me.

Love,

Sungchan

----

Good morning y/n,

You were gone when I woke up this morning. You wrote me this cute little note about how you had some special surprise planned for me today. I’m sorry, I’ll have to cancel. I already have plans today. I already know what I’ll say to you. I’ll say something about how my work assigned me to a special project and that I have to work late to help design the framework or something like that. Really though, it’s her birthday today, and I promised I’d spend it with her.

I wish I hated myself enough to stop.

Love,

Sungchan.

---

Hi y/n,

It’s kind of funny, actually. Today, you were telling me about a song you found that “is making its way” to becoming your favorite song. It’s a song from the cheater’s point of view. After you played it for me, you said you didn’t know if you could ever forgive someone who cheated on you. That you should be enough for someone, and if the person you’re dating doesn’t realize that, then they’re not someone you would miss.

After that, I was so stressed, I called her as soon as I got home. Her voice is the only thing that can calm me down when things like this happen between me and you.

I’m sorry,

Sungchan

—

Hi y/n,

Today the guilt I felt was too heavy. I called into work sick and spent the day stuffing everything you’ve ever given me into a box. It was too loud. One of the last things I put into the box was our undergrad graduation photo. It’s only been two years since then, but we look so young. Maybe it’s because I look at that photo and think how soon after that, we started our relationship. Back then, you were the only person I could see myself with.

Five months ago, I met someone who made me feel like that again. Those feelings are still there for you—I hope you never think I lost them. I just found someone who holds an equal part in my heart as you do.

Know I love you,

Sungchan

—-

My Dearest,

You showed up at our front door crying. Judging from the frantic knocks on my door from Jungwoo, you scared him pretty bad. Not many can scare Jungwoo like that; he must really like you.

Anyways, after a cup of hot chocolate, you told me what was wrong. You said your dad had another kid with another woman and that he’d never told you about it. That when you were young, he used to have “conference meetings” with the other higher-ups that lasted a few days.

He was really visiting his other family. Your mom even knew about it; you were the only one who didn’t know. You said that you’ve never been hurt by a lie before. While drying your eyes, you decided lies were the worst thing. That from here on out, you are going to live as honestly as you could. You then asked me if I was hiding anything from you and begged me to tell you if I was. “I can’t handle any more secrets, Sungchan. So if you have anything you’re hiding from me, please, please just tell me. I need to get it all over with now.”

I almost cried when you said that, and I’m thankful you couldn’t hear the lie in my voice when I said I wasn’t keeping anything from you. There have only been a few times the bracelet she’s given me felt like it was burning my skin. At that moment, when you begged me to tell you anything I was hiding, it felt like my wrist was on fire. As soon as you left, I practically ripped it off.

I love you, and I’m so sorry,

Sungchan

---

Hey love,

I was looking through these letters today before I went to bed (I’m writing this one as a spur-of-the-moment thing before I go to sleep), and I realized I’ve only been writing about how I hate what I’m doing. And while that is true, I don’t want you thinking that’s the only emotion I feel. I know what I’m doing is wrong, and I don’t deserve to be anything close to the good guy. With that being said, I owe you the truth. But if hearing me talk about my relationship with her is too painful, I suggest skipping this letter.

I met her about six months ago at a flower shop. It’s the shop I bought the flowers I got you for your birthday. She helped me pick them out. Now I don’t know what came over me, but when she asked me who I was getting flowers for, I told her they were for my mom. Before I left, she gave me her number. I almost threw it away, but right before I let go, something stopped me.

I felt something for her, and I still do. It felt like what I felt for you when I first started realizing I liked you. The immediate feeling of comfort that comes when I hear her voice, the blinding smile, the beautiful personality. It was all the same as when I met you.

I’m not trying to say she’s you; she’s more emotional when it comes to watching movies (I still want to find one that’ll make you cry, I know there’s one out there), and she’s a bit more hyper than you are. But the point I want to make is, the things I feel for you, I feel for her. I don’t know how much that’ll mean to you when (if) you read these, but know I feel so much for you. You were the light of my college years, and you continue to brighten my day.

But so does she. She knows things I don’t and can open my mind to a whole new world. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met, and it’s frankly amazing.

I’m trying hard not to talk too much about her in this—I don’t want you to think she’s better than you. I just want you to understand that no matter how many times I talk about how much I hate myself or the guilt I feel, I continue to tell you and her lies. As long as I have you two by my side, I’ll continue telling lies.

You both mean so much to me,

Sungchan.

---

Hey y/n,

This letter will be pretty short; I just wanted to tell you what a good day it was today. We spent the whole day together, which always feels therapeutic. I bought us lunch, we went go-carting (I beat you because you were too scared to go fast, it was great), and we looked around at different shops before we went back to my apartment to have dinner with Jungwoo.

It just feels right being with you, and I can’t thank you enough for being in my life. I think we’re a good fit, and so do you. It’s nice to be with someone who thinks so similarly to me, and I can’t get over how well we fit together. I mean, when you left, Jungwoo couldn’t stop talking about how lucky I am to have found someone who fits me so well.

I’m kind of rambling at this point, but I feel so much love for you right now that I wanted to put it down somewhere.

Thank you for being the person you are and loving me like I love you,

Sungchan

---

I’m so sorry,

I thought it was important I let you know right off the bat that I am sorry. Yesterday, I forgot about a date we arranged. We were out looking for a birthday present for her younger brother and got distracted looking at all the different shops. I never even heard the phone ring when you called. You called me five times before you texted and told me you were leaving. You had even tried to make a joke sending me a text that said: “at least we didn’t make reservations.”

Then today, I bought you flowers and told you that I was busy showing the intern around. That I had to do it on a Saturday because he’s from our office in Japan and takes Korean lessons on the weekdays. We do have an intern from our office in Japan here, but I’m not the one showing him around. You told me it was okay and that you understood, but I could tell you were still really hurt.

I feel like an idiot. I know cheating is bad, but I told myself that when I got into another relationship, I would never forget a date with either of you. That was the only standard I was trying to hold myself to, and I failed.

I’ll try harder to never forget a date again,

Sungchan

---

Hey y/n,

I think this is the last letter I’ll get to write to you. Well, I don’t think, I know.

You came to me today, asking what I was doing last night. I lied and told you I was at home watching TV. If there’s anything I will never forget about that conversation, it’s how you looked at me. You had smiled, nodding your head as you looked at me with teary eyes. You looked heartbroken.

When I tried to hug you and ask what was wrong, you shook your head no and backed away from me. Now that truly broke me. So I asked you what happened and you told me about how someone you knew saw me at the movie theater with a girl. You asked me to tell you who the girl was, and I begged you not to do this. I said that if you did this, it wouldn’t end well. That all the memories we had made together would be tainted.

You laughed and told me it wasn’t your fault the memories would be tainted; it was mine. You then asked me again to tell you who the girl was, and I told you what I had done.

I’m not sure when I started crying, and I’m still crying as I write you this letter. You were crying too as you told me we were over. I asked you to listen to me, and you just shook your head. As you walked to the door, you told me you would come by tomorrow to give me the stuff I keep at your house that I should pack up everything of yours. That’s how I’m going to give you these letters.

You also told me that if I’m still a decent person, I would tell the other girl about you. Believe me, after seeing your reaction I want to. But I can’t lose you both. Maybe soon, the guilt I feel when I look at her will make me strong enough to tell her.

Believe me, I know how selfish that is. I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I’m so sorry, and I love you,

Sungchan

---

Sungchan,

I couldn’t even bring myself to say something like “hi” or “dear,” you’re not dear to me anymore. That’s not to say this doesn’t hurt; I still can’t believe you did this to me. I mean, I thought I knew who you were.

I’m not writing this to tell you it’s okay or that I understand you through these letters. I’m mostly writing this because I don’t think I can face you right now. Again, I will never understand how you could do this. I thought I knew you. We’ve known each other for four years, two of which we were dating, and I still can’t believe I don’t know who you are. So while I don’t blame myself for this, I can’t help but wonder. If I knew you better, would you have been able to lie to me for so long?

I hope you know you’re not the hero here. You wrote that one letter about how you didn’t think you deserved to be the good guy, but you wouldn’t be writing these letters if you didn’t think you were justified in some way. You were in no way a decent person, and I hope you remember that.

You also tried to say you loved me throughout your affair. If you loved me, we wouldn’t even be having whatever this is right now. If you loved me, you would have told me about her when I asked you to tell me if you were hiding anything. If you loved me, it would have been you who told me about your cheating and not a coworker. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me? This lady who I only talk to on occasion now knows my boyfriend didn’t value me enough to be committed to our relationship. She only knew what you looked like because she happens to follow me on Instagram and saw all the photos of us I had posted. You don’t love me, and I hope you can stop lying to yourself.

And you’re right—you are being completely selfish by not telling her. So I decided I had to be the bigger person, once again, and tell her myself. I swallowed my pride and asked my coworker to look through your followers with me until she found the girl she saw you out with. I sent a message to her explaining the situation, and guess what? She believed me. You should be hearing from her soon—that is if you haven’t already.

Goodbye cheater,

Y/n

---

Thank you all for reading! I’ve been listening to Sweet Lies by EXO a lot lately, so I decided to write this. Thank you to @jiwvnie and @pastelsicheng for proofreading this for me! 

I would love to know what you thought about this, and I hope you all have a great day/night!

Masterlist

[spice-mice]

little miss perfect - asami x female reader

anonymous requested: Hiiiiiii uh maybe 19 for the spotify wrapped thing and Asami???? Thank yooouuuu

Title: Little Miss Perfect

Pairing: Asami x Reader

Word Count: 1737

Summary: The reader is the next in line to be Queen of the Earth Kingdom, but she’s terrified of making mistakes. With the guilt of not being able to protect her aunt, the reader feels pressured to do anything other than what her aunt told her as a child.

Warnings: Trauma, Internalized Homophobia, overworking yourself, and a bit of cursing. Let me know if there’s any more!

Notes: I usually write with a gender neutral reader, but I felt like a female reader would fit the song more. Let me know if you want a part two!

You shot six daggers of earth at Bolin, each of them narrowly missing him. At this point, the two of you weren’t even sparring anymore; you were just throwing rocks at Bolin and he was dodging them.

“We can take a break if you want,” Bolin panted. 

“I can’t take a break until I’ve mastered this move.”

“Y/n, you’ve pinned me twelve times.”

“Twelve times out of, what? Six hundred daggers? That’s two percent. I can’t be queen if I only have a two percent success rate.” You sped up your attacks, and pinned Bolin to the wall for the seventh time. 

“Come on,” he pleaded. “We’ve been doing this for an hour. Just a five minute break won’t hurt.”

You sighed, pulling Bolin off the wall. “Fine. Five minutes.” Both of you walked over to a nearby bench to sit and catch your breath. 

“You know, you’re actually a really good earthbender- one of the best I’ve ever met.”

You looked at Bolin, your face displaying little to no emotion. “Thanks.” 

“Y/n,” he continued, pulling your shoulders to face him. “You need to stop being so hard on yourself. You only started training a month ago. You can’t expect to be perfect already. I know you’re facing a lot of pressure right now, but you aren’t going to get anywhere if you don't allow yourself to make mistakes.”

“I do allow myself to make mistakes. Once. Then I figure my shit out and do better.”

Bolin sighed. “Just, don’t beat yourself up. You’re really great.”

---

“Hey, Y/n,” Asami greeted you, running up to you from across the courtyard. She must have been sitting in the garden. “I haven’t seen you in a while. You must be training really hard.”

You looked at Asami and gave her a weak smile. “Yeah, I really have.” You had been up late last night studying ancient scrolls, so you were using the majority of your energy just to keep yourself on your feet.

Asami stopped suddenly, taking your face in her hands. She surveyed your features carefully, taking each piece of your face in as if it was the last time she would see them. “When was the last time you got a good night’s sleep?”

At the close contact, your heart thumped in your chest. You shook it off and tried to wrack your brain for a good answer. Recently, all of your thoughts had seemed fuzzy; the exhaustion was really taking its toll on you, and Asami’s soft hands on your face didn’t help, either. “Um,” you mumbled. “I don’t know.”

She dropped her hands to her sides and a wave of concern washed over her face. “You look awful. C’mon, I’m taking you to my room so you can sleep in peace.”

“But-”

“Nope. I don’t want to hear it. I’m not just going to continue letting you overwork yourself to the point of exhaustion. If anyone has a problem with that, they can talk to me.” 

Asami clutched your hand and led you to her room. When you arrived, she tucked you into her bed and put on a little bit of calming music.

She smiled softly as she looked at your tense figure in her bed. At least you were trying to relax. “Just let me know if there’s anything you need. Since today’s your relaxing day, I don’t want you doing much.” She turned to leave, but just as she was about to close the door, you called after her.

“Hey Asami? Can you maybe, uh, stay here?”

Upon hearing your words, she turned right back around and walked up to her bed. She climbed carefully under the covers and wrapped her arms around you. 

“Is this okay?”

Your face flushed red. In the midst of your obvious moment of panic, you managed to choke out a small, “Yeah, totally.”

---

A couple of weeks later, you found yourself sitting atop a ledge overlooking all of Ba Sing Se. The sun was passing just below the horizon, casting a yellow-orange light over the whole sky. The view was breathtaking. 

In about a month, you would be ruling this kingdom, and while it was terrifying, there was a beauty in all of it. Sure you had struggled a bit, but who hadn’t? Deep down, you knew that you would be a great ruler. 

“Hey,” came a soft voice from behind you. “Is this seat taken?”

You turned around to find the one and only Asami Sato. The moment you looked at her, your heart stopped. She looked stunning. You had never seen her dressed so nicely; she was dressed up for some sort of fancy occasion, maybe one you would ask about later. “No, no, it’s totally free. I mean, obviously. I’m the only one here, and it’s kind of late, so it’s not like I’d be waiting for someone else. I mean who would I even be waiting for? My only friends are you, Bolin, Mako, and Korra.” You looked at your hands. “I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

Asami smiled at you. That smile could make your whole day. Hell, it could make your whole lifetime. When she smiled, your heart would feel like it was doing backflips, and your breath would catch in your throat. It was the warm, fresh-out-the-oven, Christmas cookies on a bitterly cold day. It was the cool ocean breeze on a hot day at the beach. 

“Yeah. But honestly, I think it’s adorable.” Asami swung her legs over the ledge and sat down beside you. 

Your cheeks burned as the blood rushed to your face. You covered your face with your hands and mumbled out a quiet thank you.   

“So,” she started. “How’s your royal preparation treating you?”

“Honestly, not great. I feel like I can’t spend a single minute doing anything but preparing. I’ve been training my ass off for months, and I still don’t feel like I’m good enough. I’ve barely been getting enough sleep because I stay up all night reading ancient scrolls because I’m so terrified of messing up and ruining the whole kingdom. On top of all that, I still haven’t found a husband.”

“Well, what do you need a husband for? I think you’d be a great ruler on your own.” Asami looked directly into your eyes. Underneath all of her hiding, you could see she was just a little bit hurt.

“Well, my aunt was always telling me about how I needed to find a prince so I could be ready to rule if she ever stepped down, and I feel like now that she’s gone, I kind of owe that to her.”

“Y/n, you don’t owe her anything. You’re going to be the queen now. You can make your own decisions.” She spoke with such passion in her voice, you couldn’t help but believe her. 

“I guess you’re right.” You had been so focused on telling Asami about your life, you didn’t even notice how close your faces had become. Your lips were mere centimeters apart, and your noses were practically touching. She was staring into your eyes, and you were staring right back.

Without a second thought, you cupped her face and pulled her lips to meet yours in a warm, longing kiss. You hadn’t even realized until now how much you liked Asami. As she kissed you back, your mouths danced together. They fit perfectly into each other, like two puzzle pieces you hadn’t even noticed belonged to the same puzzle. Her lips were soft like pillows, and her tongue tasted like apples and fresh picked gardenias. 

Pulling away, you rested your forehead against hers. For a split second, you were filled with overwhelming joy, and you had the urge to kiss her again.

All of this was before the panic set in.

“No. No, no, no. I’m so sorry.” You hopped off the ledge and ran towards the palace. 

“Y/n wait!”

You were already too far away to hear her, though you weren’t sure that you would’ve even responded if you could. Tears pooled in your eyes, threatening to spill down your cheeks.

It was your fault your aunt died. If you hadn’t been out with your friends that day, you could have been there to save her. But you weren’t, and now you had to do this for her. The last thing you could do was disappoint her. Not only was Asami a woman, she was also a non-bender. She was unbelievably smart, sure, but your aunt would never want you to marry her. You decided it was best to erase Asami from your life and pretend you never kissed her.

---

Asami walked up to you the next day. “Hey, can we talk?”

“What is there to talk about?”

“You know, the kiss?”

“What kiss? Just leave me alone. I have things to do.” You walked away, leaving Asami standing there all by herself, heartbroken and confused.

---

She approached you again the next day with the same question. And the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that. Each time you gave the same answer. After about two weeks of this, Asami decided she had had enough. 

The next time she saw you, she ran up to you and grabbed your wrist. 

“What is going on with you? I know we kissed, and I know you know we kissed, so why are you trying to act like we didn’t?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you answered, attempting to pull your wrist from her grip. 

This only made her hang on tighter. “Stop pretending that didn’t happen. Pretending isn’t going to erase the fact that you have feelings for me, and it certainly isn’t going to erase the fact that I have feelings for you. If you don’t want to have a relationship with me, that’s fine, but you need to tell me.” Her voice softened. “I love you, Y/n and I can’t stand to see you like this. I know you’re fighting your own internal battles, but can you at least talk to me about it?”

“I’m sorry,” you responded after her long monologue. “I like you, I really do, I just need some time. Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

She grabbed your hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Of course. Take care of yourself until then.”

Thanks for reading! I hope I did you justice! Let me know if you want a part two!

[hafanforever]

Through a Mirror Darkly

One of my favorite things about villains is how they can serve as dark reflections of their protagonist or deuteragonist (or some other major supporting character) enemies. By this, I mean that villains are basically the evil counterparts to the heroic ones. They share some personality traits or have similar goals to the heroes, making them the example of what the good characters could or would become if they go down the wrong path or do not change whatever negative traits they possess.

In Disney, many of the villains from the Renaissance and Revival Eras are dark parallels to the protagonists, as well as occasional deuteragonists. Here are all the villains from the Disney animated canon who are evil counterparts to the heroes and what makes them as such.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: The evil queen is this to Snow White.

Both are female monarchs known for their outer beauty, with Snow White’s being the only one to surpass that of her stepmother.

However, despite her beauty, Snow White is a kind, gentle, benevolent, humble person.

Her stepmother, on the other hand, is extremely vain and obsessed with her own beauty that she cannot tolerate any competition. The queen’s determination to remain the fairest one of all drives her to murderous insanity, and she seeks to kill Snow White just to remove her “rival”.

Therefore, the queen is a dark reflection of the kind of person Snow White would have become had she grown obsessed and vain over her physical appearance.

Beauty and the Beast: Gaston is this to the Beast.

Both are handsome men who want to use Belle their own selfish reasons, with the Beast wanting her to help him break his curse and Gaston wanting to make her his trophy wife and slave.

Both also become enraged after Belle rejects them, which happens primarily because of their bad manners towards her, with her refusing Gaston’s marriage proposal and later refusing to eat dinner with the Beast.

However, after he saves her from the wolves, the Beast begins to change into a more caring, compassionate, selfless individual. He falls in love with Belle for her kindness, independence, and intelligence (reasons far beyond her outer beauty), and takes her needs and happiness before his own, especially when he allows her to leave his castle so she can help her father, even though time is running out for the curse to be broken.

Gaston, on the other hand, lusts after Belle purely for her outer beauty and wants to marry her since he believes her being the most beautiful woman in town makes her the right one for him. After Belle rejects his proposal, Gaston makes no attempt to change his ways for the better out of his own arrogance, narcissism, and egotism. Instead, he resorts to attempting to force her to marry him using deception and manipulation. 

Therefore, Gaston serves as a dark example of what the Beast could have become if he had never met Belle, but also the Enchantress. In fact, the Beast makes this realization when he grabs Gaston by the throat and the latter pathetically begs for mercy. The Beast sees that Gaston is the monster he would have become had it not been for Belle, and if he killed Gaston, he would be no better than him. And since he wants to be better than Gaston, especially because he truly loves Belle, the Beast reluctantly spares him by telling him to leave the castle.

Aladdin: Jafar is this to Aladdin.

Both Aladdin and Jafar are men who wish to move up in society and wind up resorting to trickery to do so, including putting on a facade in order to ingratiate themselves with the royal family. Aladdin pretends to be Prince Ali and initially acts cocky and smooth to cover up his true, humble street urchin self, while Jafar pretends to be the Sultan’s loyal vizier when he actually despises the Sultan and schemes to take the throne of Agrabah for himself.

Both also rely on magic in their pursuits. Aladdin relies on the Genie to make him a prince so he can win Jasmine’s heart, while Jafar uses his snake staff to hypnotize the Sultan and manipulate him into doing what he (Jafar) wants him to do. Later, Iago steals the lamp when Aladdin isn’t around, and Jafar makes his first two wishes to become Sultan and then a powerful sorcerer.

However, Aladdin’s guilt over deceiving Jasmine and the Sultan drives him to back out of using his third wish to free the Genie, after which he finally decides to come clean about his lies. In the end, he keeps his promise to the Genie and sets him free, rather than to wish to become a prince again. 

Jafar, on the contrary, becomes so caught up his own power that it ultimately becomes his undoing. Aladdin cons Jafar into believing that the Genie is the only being more powerful than him, so Jafar uses his final wish to become a Genie himself. But seconds after making his wish, Aladdin reminds Jafar that being a Genie makes him a prisoner of a lamp, and Jafar realizes too late that he has been tricked.

Therefore, Jafar serves as a dark parallel as to what Aladdin might have become had he not freed the Genie and become too obsessed and hungry for the power and status that would come with him succeeding the Sultan.

The Lion King: Scar is this to Simba.

Both are rebellious lion princes who develop a sense of entitlement, believing that being a king means that they can always do whatever they want, always get their way, and have their orders obeyed with question or argument.

With such feelings, both Scar and Simba only care for what benefits they would get as king and do not grasp the responsibilities that come with being a ruler. 

Simba starts out as a young lion cub who js the future king of the Pride Lands. His position as the future king inflates his ego, making him arrogant and boastful enough that he believes that being a king means he is entitled to do anything he wants whenever he wants, that he doesn’t have to be told what to do, and can make or get rid of any rules he dislikes.

Scar, on the other hand, is the younger brother of Simba’s father Mufasa, and has lost a legitimate chance to be king due to Simba’s birth. Scar still has a deep-rooted desire to be ruler of the Pride Lands, but only for the power and authority it would give him over the other lions and animals in the kingdom. Scar’s lust to become king drives him to murder Mufasa and try to murder Simba, whom he blames for Mufasa’s death. Sent off into exile, though with everyone believing he is dead, Simba grows up living a carefree lifestyle while Scar assumes control of the Pride Lands. His incompetent, lazy, and dismissive behavior regarding the responsibilities as a ruler, especially the balance of nature, turns the kingdom into a barren wasteland.

However, in adulthood, after being encouraged to do what’s right by Mufasa’s ghost, Simba decides to go home to atone for the mistakes of his past and take his place as the true king. Seeing what Scar’s tyranny has done to the Pride Lands makes Simba understand the importance of his responsibility, and he eventually learns that Mufasa’s death was not his fault.

Scar, however, is killed by the hyenas because he cowardly tries to run away and blame them for his crimes just to weasel his way out of facing the consequences.

Overall, Scar proves himself to be the very tyrant Simba would have become if he had grown so obsessed with his future power and authority and not learned to understand what important responsibilities come with being a ruler. In fact, one could even say that “Be Prepared”, Scar’s song about his plot to become king, is a dark reflection of “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King”, young Simba’s song about his excitement over becoming king and all the great things his rank will do for him.

Pocahontas: Governor Ratcliffe is one to John Smith.

Both men are in charge of the Virginia Company who venture into the New World in search of gold and riches.

Both have bigoted views of the indigenous inhabitants, seeing them as savages upon which to look down.

Both also feel a sense of ownership to Virginian and/or its resources, which can be shown when they both sing in “Mine, Mine, Mine”.

However, after meeting Pocahontas and learning about her, her people, and her world, including that there is no gold present, John no longer views the Native Americans as savages (and instead believes that they could help him and his company), and comes to respect the fact that the land rightfully belongs to them.

On the contrary, Ratcliffe holds on to his intense racism, supremacy, and greed, which drives him into delusion and fantasy that the Powhatans are hoarding the non-existent gold for themselves. He ultimately declares war on the tribe in order to obtain the “gold” while claiming it as a rescue party after John is captured by them.

Therefore, Ratcliffe serves as a dark parallel as to what John would have become if he had never met Pocahontas.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Frollo is this to Quasimodo.

Quasimodo has a monstrous exterior, but he is actually a benevolent, gentle, and kind person.

On the contrary, Frollo is a normal-looking person, he is a pure monster on the inside.

Both have unrequited attraction to Esmeralda, with Quasimodo's being friendly love and Frollo's being lust and obsession. These are further emphasized by their respective songs: Quasimodo's "Heaven's Light" and Frollo's "Hellfire".

Both also face rejection from Esmeralda, but for different reasons. Quasimodo faces it because Esmeralda loves Phoebus, and while he is initially heartbroken over it, he learns to accept it and remains friends with the couple.

On the other hand, Frollo becomes furious when Esmeralda refuses to become his mistress, so he gives into his hatred and racism towards her people by attempting to murder her, and then commit mass genocide against the gypsies.

Therefore, Frollo serves as a dark parallel as to what Quasimodo could have become if he developed bigotry and wrath towards the gypsies after seeing that Esmeralda only loved him as a friend.

The Emperor’s New Groove: Yzma is this to Kuzco.

Both are power-hungry authority figures in the empire, with Kuzco being the emperor and Yzma being his adviser.

Both are very arrogant, callous, selfish people who view themselves as superior to everyone else in the empire due to their ranks.

In the beginning, Kuzco possesses all these negative traits and more. He rules his empire completely without the best interest of his people and always seeks to have his way, regardless of any misfortunes it could cause other people. After Kuzco fires Yzma for doing his job in his absence, she plots revenge by aiming to kill him so she can rule the empire.

However, after being accidentally transformed into a llama and befriending Pacha, Kuzco comes to realize the error of his ways, while Yzma remains bent on eliminating Kuzco.

Therefore, Yzma serves as a dark reflection of what Kuzco would have become if he had not met Pacha and undergone his transformation.

Tangled: Gothel is this to Flynn Rider (aka Eugene Fitzherbert).

Both are manipulative, arrogant, and selfish people who use Rapunzel for something they want, with Gothel using her for the magic of the sun flower in Rapunzel’s hair, and Flynn to get her to tell him where she hid his satchel containing (unknown to her) Rapunzel’s tiara.

Both find themselves as a reluctant companion/protector to Rapunzel, with Flynn helping Rapunzel escape from tower so she can see the floating lanterns, while Gothel plays the role of Rapunzel’s mother and manipulates her into staying in the tower so she can use Rapunzel’s hair to stay young forever.

However, Flynn grows to care for Rapunzel and sees her as a person without ever showing interest in using her hair for his own personal gain. His love for her changes him into a better person, as shown when he aims to protect and rescue her from Gothel, with him ultimately sacrificing the chance to be healed from the fatal wound Gothel inflicts on him so that Rapunzel can be free of Gothel. After being revived, Flynn brings Rapunzel home to her parents and in the final scene, he announces in his voiceover narration that his love for her also led him to decide to stop thieving.

Gothel, on the other hand, only puts up with Rapunzel since Rapunzel’s hair has the magic Gothel wants for her own selfish desire. She views Rapunzel as a pest and any forms of “affection” she gives Rapunzel are actually towards her hair, in reference to that Gothel truly loves the power in Rapunzel’s hair and not Rapunzel herself. To keep her from leaving the tower, Gothel constantly belittles, demeans, manipulates, and emotionally abuses Rapunzel, especially by using guilt trips and victim blaming whenever they argue or when Rapunzel defies and challenges her “authority”. When Rapunzel discovers she is actually Corona’s missing princess, Gothel resorts to chaining and dragging her to another place far away to keep the magic within her hair forever and permanently prevent Rapunzel from leaving ever again.

Therefore, Gothel serves as a dark parallel of what Flynn could have become if he had never met Rapunzel.

Wreck-It Ralph: King Candy, who is later revealed to truly be the long-presumed-dead Turbo, is this to Ralph.

Ralph is programmed to be a villain in his own game and is treated as such, but he is actually kind, selfless, humble, well-meaning, and sympathetic towards other characters in the arcade, particularly the homeless ones.

Turbo, on the other hand, was originally programmed to be the hero of his game, but he was actually arrogant, selfish, attention-seeking, egotistical, and had no care or value for anyone else besides himself.

Both leave their own games, or game-jump, in order to get attention and recognition, but have different motives for doing so. Ralph game-jumps to get respect and positive recognition that he had always been denied, while Turbo does so out of jealousy and spite in an attempt to regain the attention and popularity he lost when RoadBlasters was plugged in and got more notice than TurboTime.

Therefore, Turbo serves as a dark example of what Ralph might have become if he had grown too obsessed with getting what he wanted.

Frozen: Hans is this to Anna.

Both are the youngest siblings in their respective families.

Both grew up feeling neglected, rejected, and overshadowed by their older siblings.

However, while Anna still loved Elsa and was willing to do anything to reconnect with her, Hans grew to resent his brothers and was willing to do whatever it took for him to finally be on top, to gain and attention and everything he rarely to never got by growing up in their shadows.

Therefore, Hans serves as a dark counterpart of what Anna would have become had she finally given up on mending her relationship with Elsa.

Big Hero 6: Professor Robert Callaghan is this to Hiro.

Both are intelligent people who lose a beloved family member, with Hiro losing his older brother Tadashi and Callaghan losing his daughter Abigail.

Both become consumed with grief and determination to avenge their loved ones, to the point that they want to destroy those who they believe are responsible.

However, while Hiro briefly becomes enraged after learning that Callaghan faked his death, stole his microbots, and that Tadashi died for nothing after he went into the burning building to save him (Callaghan), he comes to his senses with help from his friends and learns to accept his loss.

Callaghan, on the contrary, lets his rage and grief over losing Abigail consume him enough that he desires revenge on Alistair Krei. Callaghan’s obsession causes his own morality to apparently vanish based on the way he ruthlessly pursues and tries to murder any innocent bystanders who get in his way. He even coldly and callously dismisses Tadashi's death as his own mistake and ultimately rebuffs Hiro's pleas to accept Abigail's loss (despite briefly showing a hint of regret). But when he sees Abigail alive after all (after Hiro rescues her), Callaghan realizes that all of his senseless destruction ended up being for nothing, so he shows shame and possibly remorse for his actions once he is arrested.

Therefore, Callaghan serves as a dark reflection of what Hiro would have become had he let his grief turn into vengeance and not learned to move on from Tadashi’s death.

Zootopia: Dawn Bellwether is this to Judy Hopps.

Both are small prey animals who hold important positions in the city (Judy as a cop, Bellwether as the assistant mayor) and want to be successful and appreciated for their efforts.

Despite their positions, both are overlooked, dismissed, looked down on, misjudged, and mistreated by their bosses (Judy by Chief Bogo and Bellwether by Leodore Lionheart) and other larger animals, especially by predators.

However, while Judy has some mild bigotry towards predators (especially foxes, due to being bullied by one as a child), she truly wants to live peacefully among predators, wants prey and predators to also live as such, and overcomes her troubled past to bring an end to the conspiracy against the predators.

On the other hand, Bellwether gives in to her hatred for predators (particularly because of the abuse she endures from Lionheart as his assistant), and starts her conspiracy of turning predators savage in order to become mayor and remove them from Zootopia.

Therefore, Bellwether serves as a dark parallel of what Judy might have become had she allowed her mild bigotry towards predators intensify into pure hatred.

Frozen II: King Runeard is this to Elsa, his own granddaughter.

Both are very powerful monarchs who, at different points in their lives, are the sole rulers of Arendelle.

Both have keep big secrets about themselves from their kingdom, and also hold great fears of magic.

However, Elsa feared her own magic since she believed that she would lose control of them and harm people, especially those she loved. She learns to overcome her fear and to trust herself, and the people close to her.

On the contrary, Runeard feared magic because he believed it to be a threat and competition to his own royal status and power. His fear grew into paranoia, hatred, and bigotry, which clouded and corrupted his judgment over trusting people with ties to magic, making him believe that the Northuldra, and anyone who is magical or follows magic, can never be trusted.

Therefore, Runeard serves as a dark example of what Elsa might have become if she allowed her fear to consume her.

However, while Runeard serves as a dark parallel to Elsa, he also serves as a darker counterpart to Hans.

As I described them in “The Men with Two Faces”, both men are obsessive, manipulative, selfish monarchs who pretend to be kind and noble in order to hide their true natures and gain the loyalty and trust of others for their own personal gain.

Both are also very power-hungry who only care for the power they have/crave and are willing to go to lengths of treachery and murder to get what they want and expand their power.

Both sneak up on people sitting on the ground and try to murder them with their swords since they view them as a threat to their goals. However, while Hans failed to kill Elsa due to Anna’s intervention, Runeard succeeded in killing the Northuldra leader.

Therefore, Runeard is what Hans could have become if he had succeeded in killing both Elsa and Anna and been crowned king of Arendelle.

I owe a thanks to my dearest friend and soul sis @minervadeannabond for coming up with this title. Although I am called the Queen of Puns, I sometimes have trouble coming up with clever puns as titles for my analyses, and she’s always there to help me out. Thank you so much, girl! Love you much! 😁😊❤️

And since today is All Hallows Eve, what better kind of analysis for me to post today than one about villains?

Happy Halloween, everyone! 😁🎃👻

[slashingdisneypasta]

Slashers / Horror Villains as: Animated (Children’s) Movie Villain Songs

+ A Nightmare Before Christmas 

First of all, its mostly Disney. Second of all, I hope you know that this was a struggle for me. 

Also, note, Bubba will be the only Leatherface in this post and Billy and Stu will be the only Ghostfaces. There is Norma Bates though, so sort of a consolation. 

There are links to videos on YouTube ^^

~~~

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher / Ghostface: Playing With the Big Boy’s Now (Hotep and Huy, Prince of Egypt) 

Well... they’re part of the ‘big boys’, now! They are part of the Slashers group that, uh, ‘inspired them’. Imagine instead of Egyptian Gods, they’re chanting Slasher names. 

[HUY] Pick up your silly twig, boy [HOTEP & HUY] You're playing with the big boys now! Ha ha ha ha!

[EGYPTIAN PRIESTS] By the power of Ra Mut, Nut, Khnum, Ptah Sobek, Sekhmet, Sokar, Selket Anubis, Anukis Hemsut, Tefnut, Meshkent, Mafdet... 

Chop Top and Nubbins + Bubba Sawyer / Leatherface: Kidnap Mr Sandy Claws (Lock, Shock and Barrel, Nightmare Before Christmas) 

I mean... they aren't Drayton’s minions, but they are like this XD 

I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more

Yes you're so stupid, think now If we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will beat us black and green

Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: In The Dark Of The Night (Rasputin, Anastasia)

Mystical man? Check! ‘Betrayal’ (As far as he sees it)? Check. Made them pay? Check; I think Nica, Sarah and all the other families he destroys throughout the franchise can attest to that. And ‘One little girl got away’? Well Andy isn’t a girl, but yeah. Check. 

I was once the most mystical man in all Russia When the royals betrayed me they mad a mistake My curse made each of them pay But one little girl got away Little Anya, beware Rasputin's awake

Drayton Sawyer: Don’t Fall In Love (Forte, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas) 

Its such a crochety, unessessarily rude way of describing relationships to someone! I mean, I understand completely and resonate deeply with the desire to be alone and not be responsible for anyone else, but- come on! Beast doesn't share your view! Let it go! 

Its just like Drayton’s reaction to Bubba having a crush. Super cool video too! 

As soon as your heart rules your head Your life is not your own It's hell when someone's always there It's bliss to be alone

And love of any kind is bad A dog, a child, a cat They take up so much precious time Now, where's the sense in that?

Freddy Krueger: No More Mr Nice Guy (Rothbart, Swan Princess) 

A man with an uncomfortable relationship with the main female character pretending to be normal and not homicidal for a while before unlocking more power and letting there inner bad guy loose and taking great pleasure in it? Sounds familiar. They also have a similar vocabulary- except of course Rothbart is rated G. 

I'll become that nasty, naughty, dirty, spiteful Wicked, wayward, way-delightful Bad guy I was born to be

Lyin' loathesome, never-tender Indiscreet repeat offender No more Mr Nice Guy That's not me 

Inkubus: The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind (Professor Rattigan, The Greatest Mouse Detective)

‘Inkubus’ is literally a movie about him listing all his crimes over the centuries and messing with the police force because he has a bone to pick with a detective. Sounds pretty similar to me! Listen to the song! ^^

Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course! My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain! 

Jason Voorhees: Despicable Me (About Gru, Despicable Me) 

I... this is all I could think of!! But the more I listen to it and read the lyrics... it f i t s Jason so well! XD Please just let this slide; I know Gru isn't really a villain but he is at the start!! Let me have this. 

Why ask why? Better yet "Why not?" Why are you marking x on that spot? Why use a blow torch isn't that hot? Why use a chainsaw? Is that all you got? Why do you like seeing people in shock? But my question to you is "Why not?" Why go to the bank and stand in line Just use a freeze gun it saves me time. I'm havin' a bad, bad day It's about time that I get my way Steam rollin' whatever I see, Huh, despicable me I'm havin' a bad, bad day If you take it personal that's okay Watch, this is so fun to see Huh, despicable me

Jennifer Check: Trust In Me (Kaa, The Jungle Book) 

She’s a succubus demon. Tempting boys into a safe-feeling, docile state so she she can strike is her thing. 

Will cease to resist Just relax Be at rest Like a bird In a nest

Trust in me Just in me Shut your eyes And trust in me

Mayor Buckman and Granny Boone: Savages (Governor Ratcliffe and the Colonizer’s parts, Pocahontas) 

Obviously, because of the (Inaccurate) historical relevance of both movies (Different time’s, same terrible prejudice,) and also because there is definitely a very cult-ish feel about both Governor Ratcliffe’s song and Buckman’s leadership. How easily they’re able to gather support from their people for the most horrible reasons. How horrifying it is to audiences and historians. 

They're only good when dead They're vermin, as I said And worse

They're savages! Savages!

Barely even human

Savages! Savages!

Drive them from our shore! They're not like you and me Which means they must be evil We must sound the drums of war!

Michael Myers: The Gospel Truth II (Muses about Hades, Hercules)

In a Disney movie, Michael would have others sing his song about him as he goes about his silent, determined walking XD 

If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up It's Hades 'Cause he had an evil plan He ran the underworld But thought the dead were dull and uncouth He was as mean as he was ruthless And that's the gospel truth He had a plan to shake things up And that's the gospel truth

Midnight Man: Oogie Boogie’s Song (Oogie Boogie, Nightmare Before Christmas)

A song about a “Gamblin’ Boogie Man” is perfect for the Midnight Man! He and Oogie could be pals. 

Woah! The sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess When lives are on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine

Norma Bates: Mother Knows Best Reprise (Mother Gothel, Tangled)

Norma is soooooo so so so unbelievably manipulative towards Norman (And Dylan. It just works better on Norman) and this song absolutely presents that. She can go from sweet, loving mother to spiteful, heinous bitch in two seconds if Norman or Dylan don't do what or react the way she wants them to. 

Likes you? Please, Rapunzel, that's demented

This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole romance that you've invented, Just proves you're too naive to be here Why would he like you? Come on now, really! Look at you, you think that he's impressed? Don't be a dummy Come with mummy

Pamela Voorhees: My Lullaby (Zira, The Lion King 2)

In a opposite approach to a villainous mother to Norma, we have Pam, who was heartbroken by the camp councillors letting her son die and vowed to get revenge. She didn't know she was teaching Jason to be the Crystal Lake killer like Zira did, but she did, and the whole song does have her kind of feel to it also. 

Sleep, my little Kovu Let your dreams take wing One day when you're big and strong You will be a kingI've been exiled, persecuted Left alone with no defense When I think of what that brute did I get a little tense But I dream a dream so pretty That I don't feel so depressed 'Cause it soothes my inner kitty And it helps me get some rest

Patrick Bateman: Cruella De Vil (Arthur, 101 Dalmations) 

Never before was there a song that described audiences reaction to watching Patrick living in his daily life and hearing his thoughts better then this one. 

Cruella De Vil Cruella De Vil If she doesn't scare you No evil thing will To see her is to Take a sudden chill Cruella, Cruella De Vil

The curl of her lips The ice in her stare All innocent children Had better beware She's like a spider waiting For the kill Look out for Cruella De Vil

Pennywise (Both): You’re Only Second Rate (Jafar, Return of Jafar)

Mostly for the video and Jafar’s energy in this scene actually XD So many transformations, so many tasteless puns! I was going to give this to Freddy but its the closest thing to Penny I could think of. 

Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size I'll make a great escape It's just a piece of cake You're only second rate You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up Let me pontificate upon your sorry state You're only second rate

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: Hellfire (Judge Claude Frollo, Hunchback of Notre Dame) 

A nasty filthy man who think’s he’s in the right despite being the biggest creep and monster ever? Mhm. 

*Note: I honestly didn't notice the deformed baby, Quasimodo/Thomas link until the day after I wrote this. Don't know how I feel about it. I mean, Hoyt is actually nice, in his way, to Thomas so the connection isn't totally there but onwards:

Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud

Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd 

End of Post! 🌼

(Bonus’ under the cut) 

I did think of other connections which I obviously didnt landed on but still have merit! Here! 

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: ‘Gaston’ was considered, but that would have just been a joke XD I don’t think Stu is quite as obsessed with Billy as LeFou is with Gaston. 

Chucky: Friends on the Other Side. Obviously! That link was actually what inspired me to make this post. In The Dark of Night fits to a T though. 

Freddy Krueger: You’re Only Second Rate! Ah, its perfectttt. But No More Mr Nice Guy fits better. If I ever do a Slashers as Disney Villains post, he’ll be Jafar for sure. Or Hades. Or Scar. Or Oogie. Probably Hades. You know what? Without the gore and blood and explicit sexual references, Freddy could be a Disney Villain himself. Its not like Disney hasn't towed the line before with perverted villains. >_> (Jafar and Frollo) 

Jason and Pamela Voorhees: Mother Knows Best! Of course. 

Jennifer Check: Love is For Peasants (Barbie Island Princess) Because Jennifer thinks like this: 

Men? <<< Literally anything else. 

Patrick Bateman: How Can I Refuse? (From Barbie Princess and the Pauper) XD If Patrick were a kids movie villain, he would totally join the ranks of corrupted usurpers pretending to be trustworthy royal advisory staff. Also ‘Let It Die’, that little interruption part of another song that O’Hare sings in the Lorax and ‘How Bad Can I be?’.