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#I don’t know what to do w my life
lauras-happy-place · 2 years
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3rd day without sleep or max 2hours of nap. Even baby sensory videos don’t help (which btw we def need more of with the neon stars)
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intricate-ritualz · 5 days
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edwin is stronger than me bc personally i wouldn’t have the heart to be in an eternal situationship. “you’re the most important person in the world to me” “we have literally forever to figure it out” WHAT DID U MEAN BT THAT..GOD JUST TELL ME NO DONT GET MY HOPES UP W THIS COSMICALLY BONDED PLATONIC(?) SOULMATES SHIT
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twinstxrs · 6 months
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there’s probably something deeply wrong with me because every time i see someone react to the pok gukgak interrogation scene it’s like “oh no oh my god is riz’s dad a bad guy?” when the first time i saw that scene my only thought was “oh my god is riz’s dad HOT??”
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stardustdiiving · 7 months
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How evil is arlecchino and what is she cooking
As of 4.2, I’m really curious what they’re planning with Arlecchino as a character, especially as a villain/antagonist/morally dubious character, and how far/which direction they may go with that
Intuitively my impression is we’ll see her do something way more “villainous” than she presents herself as being for majority of Fontaine’s AQ in front of us right—(which isn’t a surprise given that, you know, Arlecchino nor the House of Hearth have never been presented as 110% ethical LOL) but I find myself not being in complete agreement with most analysis or speculation threads I see about Arlecchino’s morality and the like, level of sinister people seem to ascribe to her.
Idk how to put it, especially in regards to her children I do agree they are not a wholesome found family, that Arlecchino is not above pulling strings or using them for her own ulterior motives, but I kind of hesitate on the idea she only cares about the Hearth children as a means to the end/things she can control and there’s nothing else going on with her characterization wise there. I’m not saying that impression seems remotely unreasonable or unfounded, but just that it feels there’s something intentionally missing in how we are supposed to conceptualize her as a person
My main reasoning for this hunch is the fact they have not elaborated on Arlecchino and the previous Knave—who Arlecchino is stated to have taken over the position from by force. The extra tidbits I think about are that 1) Arlecchino was previously an orphan in the Hearth 2) the previous Knave is described as way, way crueler to the children of than Heart than Arlecchino was from when she took control of the House
Often, people’s major indicators that the House of the Hearth is kind of super fucked up are the NPCs we meet in world quests who are part of it and clearly suffering. But one thing I haven’t ever seen people mention w this that i think is a very interesting detail is, in The Very Special Fortune Slip Inazuma worldquest, where we stop this House of Hearth guy (Efim Snezhevich) from manufacturing tension between Watasumi/the Shogunate to restart the war with his other Hearth subordinates, at the end of the quest we get this dialogue that reveals he had been acting under the previous Knave’s directives:
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It’s also mentioned he’s employing this plan in an attempt to “rebuild the prestige of the Knave” following Signora’s death, iirc? Now, see, the dialogue itself says that this is “assuming our captive is telling the truth” so who knows what’s really going on, but I find this a really odd/interesting thing to highlight. I’m a bit fuzzy on other world quests with Hearth members, and am not saying none of them were acting and subsequently being treated poorly by our Arlecchino, but like, this gives me a lot of questions especially when paired with implications this previous Knave seemed to be way worse
Like, what drove Arlecchino to take over? How unexpected and controversial was this within the House? Assuming the above information is all true it definitely says something this guy went rogue and acted on what the previous Knave would want and didn’t think our Arlecchino would greenlight it, which does feel consistent with the previous Knave being described as basically worse & crueler than our Arlecchino. It also makes me question how much house of hearth things we’ve seen outside the main story are the work of our Arlecchino or if there’s a bigger divide of loyalty. Heck, I could be wrong but it doesn’t even seem like we know if the previous Knave is dead or not
This isn’t me saying Arlecchino couldn’t possibly be treating hearth children worse than she wants us to know, especially ones who aren’t her “favorites” the way the fontaine trio seem to be, but I really don’t feel sure about making a solid conclusion of her exact level of malice the way ppl r generally understanding it rn when it feels there’s going to be more about her. Just the idea of she, as a Hearth child, clashed with the previous leader who was known for being cruel, overtook their position and took on less harsh methods of leading that made at least some members with more power/possible closer proximity to the previous Knave go rogue and try to commit atrocities in the previous Knave’s name…I feel this leaves a lot of room to suggest there’s more going on with how Arlecchino is as a person
I don’t mind if she’s just very evil and deceptive bc if she totally had me fall for thinking she was less evil than she actually was that’s fun tbh. But I feel people suggest that’s all her character could be with no degree of like, “sympatheticness” or deep grey morality and that if her character did go there it would be automatically poor writing and genshin walking back on making a truly evil woman when IDK. I feel you can claim at this point they have left it open ended and it’s never been completely confirmed she’s pure evil. Also sometimes I just get a hunch and feel cautiously confident in Genshin executing certain characters well. Not all characters, just certain ones. Especially given Fontaine’s character writing being very good and a character like Lyney feeling very solid to me when any development with Arlecchino would likely involve him and his siblings as well, I honestly feel open to the idea of Arlecchino being satisfyingly written to be both villainous/morally dubious but “sympathetic/likable as a person” in ways outside of just her ruthlessness if that makes sense
If I’m wrong/they drop the ball with it more than I anticipate I’ll eat my hat but I am pretty excited about her character and which way they decide to go with it. I will say the only potential impression I have of where they’ll go with her has been wondering if it will go in a “cycles of abuse” direction—I’d be surprised if they ever elaborated on Arlecchino’s character especially in how she feels about things and her also growing up as an exploited child of the hearth wasn’t relevant
#arlecchino#see my track record with said hunch with when I feel I should let genshin cook has been#for months truthing my vision of xiao’s speififc brand of internalized dehumanization induced suicidal ideation#and how genshin will one day he will get another quest of sorts thst develops his character towards#the idea he’s allowed to live and enjoy people’s company and this will likely#also come with following through on yaksha lore and when they do this they will do him SO well and it will be peak genshin quest#all of this Months before the existence of perilous trails was even rumored#and then I was soo stubborn xiao would show up in 2023 lantern rite w more character introspection to follow up PT#and also from the first fontsine teaser I was in the trenches for furina bc I felt so confident#the main storyline would handle her very well & if genshin went anywhere near the direction of her#not being a ‘true archon’ & ppl were Wrong if they thought genshin woudlnt take her seriously#and HAHA. WWOOWOOWOWOEOEOOEOEE#I have also been sent into hysteria multiple times bc genshin keeps canonizing my exact ideas of my favorite character dynamics#and often exceeding my expectations that I thought were jsut wishful thinking#yes I predicted exactly how xiao would interact w Venti & zhongli on screen yes I predicted#the exact nature of hat radish friendship no I was wiped out on the floor#by nahida enrolling wanderer in college & calling him hat guy & zhongli saving xiao’s life#& xiao having hardcore social anxiety from zhongven flirting with each other st the dinner table#this sounds so conceited. see I often don’t know What genshin is cooking but k feel sure in knowing when soemthing is going to be#a shitshow or mediocre or when we need to let them cook. even if it takes 6+ months#TRUST ME <— guy who has been waiting on genshin to cook for several characters for multiple years and is still sure I will get my food#am I crazy. yes. am I also often right when I have hunches on when genshin is going to suck and when it’s going to be good esp character#writing wise. often yes#one day I will annihilate genshined impact with my bare hands#genshin#fern.txt#fandomferns
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stuckinapril · 2 months
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u are literally so strong for being pre med. im also 21 and ive just about given up on taking the mcat and doing extracurriculars after army crawling through all the prereqs 😭 much luck to you!!!!!! praying john hopkins takes u 🙏🙏 we need more lovely, kind and genuine doctors like you and u deserve the best of the best 💖💖
Thank you my dove <3 no it’s literally the most ruthless thing ever. People don’t understand the mental stamina it takes to fulfill all facets of the application med schools expect. It’s more than a full time job—sometimes it doesn’t feel like there are enough hours in the day tbh, between doing research and volunteering and shadowing and gaining hands on experience. And don’t get me started on the mcat lmao, preparing for it feels like I’m training for the Olympics. I’m into it most days, it’s fun to be consumed by something you’re truly passionate about, but I also completely get how it predisposes all of us to frequent burnouts. Add to that the stress of meeting the still more extraordinary, still more impossible standards of elite med schools…
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starlit-eudemonia · 1 month
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Question to my black gamers/writers, what hairstyle do you envision your self-insert or your MC wearing when going on these long-ass journeys and quests with their hair? What protective styles are y’all using? What type? Locs? Braids? Crochet? Cornrows? Mini-twists?? How do you story-wise work in the maintenance? Are they wearing a scarf/headwrap? How’s they get said headscarf? Do they wear their world’s equivalent to a bonnet? How are doing their wash-days; where do they do it? What products are they using and where do I get them?
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tchaikovskaya · 2 months
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🫠
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angelnumber27 · 12 days
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn���t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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puppydoggraham · 7 months
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Some fans of this show are literally the definition of unserious. You watched Hannibal kill and eat people and that’s whatever but you draw the line at a cute headcanon that he would be a swiftie? That’s the weird thing to you?
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alwaysneedyforsir · 3 months
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back to bad habits (staying absurdly late at practice)
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deathxproof · 9 months
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Susan Foreman, Abandonment Issues && The Past Haunting John Banville / Nicola Yoon / Franz Kafka in a letter to his father / Hera Lindsey Bird / Franz Kafka in a letter to his father(words changed, for some reason) / Eula Biss / Rainer Maria Rilke / Michael Cunningham / Richey Edwards / @ ghostheavens / The End of the F***ing World / Valeria Luiselli / Phoebe Bridgers / Katherine Fabrizio / Lang Leav / Emily Palermo / Vicente Aleixandre / Lyra Wren / Ocean Vuong / Haruki Murakami / Richard Siken
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fellhellion · 11 months
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padfootastic · 1 year
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yeah so it’s not like my codependent james & sirius don’t love or care for other people. it’s that, when it comes down to it, their default is the other and sorry if u don’t think that’s different but it is.
they’re not putting the people in their life on a twisted graded hierarchy, they’re just?? each others?? most important person?? like bro why is it that the most common tropes on fucking earth are a problem when it’s prongsfoot????
#if u couldn’t tell already#i keep going onto the anti pf side of things#and ykno what i’m gonna do it. i’m gonna take the plunge. do what i dislike. and block.#(no but i’ll try to. really)#lEt tHeM bE bRoS#dOnT cHeApEn tHeiR fRieNdShIp#yah and while we’re at this it let’s also let the history books say they were friends#because we don’t have enough male friendships so we need representation 😀#(sometimes??? do they realise??? they’re regurgitating older homophobic phrases or???)#like bro. ur not the only one w life exp.#‘sometimes i think these people don’t/can’t—‘ shut up shut UP#i hate romance irl. can’t do it will never do it don’t like it.#but that’s not my fictional consumption now is it?#and won’t be either#j&s occupy a space more than friends OR lovers#also don’t know why some people r seeking realism?? in this universe?? esp considering what they’re writing usually??#like. some self awareness pls?#if y’all can’t tell. i’m annoyed lmao#i’m just sick of seeing j/s treated like. idk. it’s the first or only ship to romanticise friendships or wtv#WHILE and this bit is imp WHILE loudly shipping w*l farar and j*gulus like???#just say u like those ships and go??#but also. that last point is just me being frustrated. i get the bitching bc i do the same w those two ships#so like. yeah. respect their right to rant. but won’t respect the rant lol#also…this isn’t @ like anyone in particular . it’s just many people on the anti pf mwpp side i’ve seen who have similar arguments#and they’re always the stupidest#which i wouldn’t care for so much it if they didn’t constantly bring up ‘real life! realistic! not how it works!’ etc etc#yah#that’s it for now#i’m sure i’ll come back later lmao#pen’s whining
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glitterock · 5 months
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i’ve seen some people claiming you’re a terf or at least friends(?) with a terf. is this true?
i’ve answered this before and i really don’t want to talk about it again because it’s super upsetting to me that people would even think that with 0 evidence but i’ll lay it all out one more time:
a friend of mine from irl also just so happens to have a blog. she accidentally reblogged a picture from an apparent terf on here and didn’t know. since then someone on here made a post about my friend saying that since this happened she must be a crypto terf and that since i know her, i must be a terf apologist or a terf myself. this post included absolutely no evidence that i hold terf ideals except for the fact that i simply know someone who accidentally reblogged a picture. since this person has a following and once someone in here is called a terf it sticks to them, now a large amount of people who know nothing about me and have no real facts to go off of are calling me a terf, telling my mutuals im a terf, and spreading a huge fucking nasty rumor about me.
for starters, my friend is not a terf. me and her are a part of the same irl community so i’ve seen her interact with trans people and trans women in our community as well as my friend group which consists of trans people and she’s nothing but kind. we also have had conversations about transness in the lesbian community so i know exactly what her morals and thoughts are on this particular topic and she isn’t a trans exclusionary person. she says she just doesn’t check where she reblogs things from as many of us do because we have lives and don’t have time to research every single username we reblog from. I am believing her because i know her actions in real life and my real life friendships and relationships are more important than what ppl i will never meet on the internet think of me.
i don’t want to have to prove myself because it feels fucking ridiculous and weird and performative to have to make a list of reasons why i’m not a terf but since people keep saying this about me:
i have trans femme friends, i have lived with trans femme roomates and currently live my my best friend who is a trans man, and a i have little cousin who i adore who is a trans woman. When my cousin came out i sent her a huge box full of old clothes, makeup, books about queerness and transness, buttons, accessories, etc. and my aunt called me crying saying what a huge difference it made. When i am out at queer events and see trans women who are are by themselves i always try to make a point of saying hi or complimenting their outfits so they feel a little less alone. When creating my zine, i knew that it would be imperative for me to include trans femme voices in it to create a proper narrative of the lesbian community because trans women are an important part of our community and i have nothing but respect and adoration for them. I always try and do my best to be a trans ally especially knowing the privilege i have as an afab femme in the lesbian community, and I have never once in my life held any terf ideals and never will because that is genuinely not how i am. it’s extremely extremely upsetting that people have stuck this label to me without knowing anything about me and especially without having any proof that i’ve ever said anything against trans women, trans people in general, and tbh i don’t even know anything about radical feminism.
the person who made that post also claimed i was friends with 2 people on here who are terfs, one of them being the person that said something along the lines of: “i would only fuck a femme but i could only be with butches” and it caused a huge fucking mess on here a few months ago. I need to make this extremely clear that we are no longer friends and haven’t been in over a year and have been no contact, again, for a year. i was in an absolutely terrible toxic sexual friendship with them that made me feel genuinely horrible about myself and I spent weeks in therapy trying to unpack it all, get over it, and get out of it. having this old friendship that was so awful for me being thrown in my face as if i’m still in it also is super upsetting for me.
if u want to see the post, im pretty sure the user that made it is meansweatydyke or something like that and im sure it’s still up so u can see for yourself. i want u to pay attention tho to the fact that nothing in their call out post actually pertains to my personal morals or thoughts and only is about my proximity to people who have mistreated me/ or have done things unknowingly. it’s super fucking irritating and upsetting. I am 100% on board for calling people out when their actions show that they are bad people, but i have made 0 actions that show this besides being guilty by association.
short answer: no i am not a terf, have never been a terf, and will never be a terf. it says that in my pinned post, and i always strive to uplift my trans friends and trans voices in the community with the platform i’ve made for myself online and in my zine. anyone who knows me knows i am not a terf.
id really love it if people would stop spreading this horrible fucking rumor about me and stop telling people i am a terf now with absolutely no evidence to back it up
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johndonneswife · 1 month
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#just need to vent rq lololol#my wedding lehenga came out so freaking beautiful#but it needs to be taken in a lot like. i lost 6 inches on my waist since i initially had it made for my body#and everyone at the shop was like ohh wow good job great you look so great now you look awesome#and my mom was like oh wow good job that’s good you did it#like lol#i wanted to just be like#‘thanks i had to go to iop therapy at an ed center where they literlaly taught me how to eat food. like a toddler. thanks’#like i didn’t lose weight for an intentional reason but thanks for confirming you thought i looked horrible before lolol#idk i have been like every size in the book but seeing how much better ppl treat me when im smaller#i’m just like. :)#if my mom says anything about her body or mine tomorrow i will probably fucking lose it and if you see a woman in nj killing ppl on the news#it’s me. lol#it just really took me out of the experience bc i’m trying sooooo hard to be neutral about my body. and like. i don’t need to hear your#thoughts abt what i look like lmao#whatever my dress is beautiful and i’m so beautiful and i’m excited but i really do think i should be able to hunt ppl for sport#leave me alone#nothing you do can please ppl#when i was 20 and 100 lbs and killing myself and sick and miserable every single day my mom was also just like#wow you look great#meanwhile i was balding and fainting at the gym and failing my college classes bc i was obsessed w my body#text#also look at these cats that are just in luis’s apartment’s hallway like rofl who let them out of their apt!!!! so cute#my mom saying ‘you did it’ as if i was trying to do something made me lol#i wasn’t TRYING to do anything i just am healing my relationship w food and my body#bc i refuse to waste my entire life being bitter and miserable and ashamed of existing#like SOMEONE i know….#anyway this could be you too! if you went to fucking therapy!#i ate ny pizza out of spite after all of this#sorry some of you can’t enjoy a fucking carb !!!!!
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stillcominback · 4 months
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🎀 🎀 🎀
#hi friends!#local cryptid laurel making a quick little dash appearance just to check in tbh 💗💗💗#miss you all and writing loads but life continues to be a lot lol 😮‍💨#still job hunting which has been really rough in general but also mentally#then raising my daughter aka puppy who I love but takes a lot of my time and energy 🐶#BUUUUUUT a couple things!#1 - i’m better at checking into discord these days so if you would like to plot/write there and/or make servers to do so I would LOVE THAT#2 - RE: depressing job search - I’m working on opening up my own small shop!!#I’ll be starting with a collection inspired by The Traitors aka one of my fave shows atm#but will be doing all kinds of designs going forward!#I’ll drop more info here once we officially ✨launch✨#but I would love to get more followers on our IG page and just get some hype/interest going!#so if anyone wants to check us out to see what’s to come (soon)! the IG is sonichedesigns#(and the website is thatsoniche but it’s not fully opened yet!)#I’m nervous but excited because I’ve always wanted to do something like this but never really had the time or creative/mental energy#so maybe the stars are aligning who knows!#LOVE YOU ALL and hope to catch you on discord at least!#(again not abandoning tumblr or rp at all! just don’t have much time for it so my blogs are basically for aesthetic things and w/e I have#time for haha 🤪💗 but discord I would love to do more writing and stuff so hmu or ask for my handle! MWAH!)#💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
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