#I don't like it when people help me and so I tried seeking out a solution before he replies but alas

[torgawl]

never thought i'd see people try to argue or analyse wriothesley's murder in regards to his personality. i think people are missing the point. the situation has nothing to do with him and has everything to do with an extremely traumatic environment that made a small boy think the only solution so save himself and the people he cared about was to take the life of his abusers. it's not supposed to be rational, it wasn't premeditated, it wasn't about getting away with it. if you read his description of the murder you can see how out of it he was. his goal was to protect himself and his siblings and that's what he did. that's why he admitted to the crime so easily and why he is keen to associate the fortress as a rebirth place. he was just young, lost and traumatised and that's about it when it comes to the extension of it all.

[transgender-catboy]

I love my friends

[euargh]

I love Spamton and the Addisons so much. I write my bad fanfictions with them a lot to pretend I have a friendship family such as theirs to block out the reality of how alone and mistreated I am irl lmao. I badly wish a friendship family like the Addisons, but that can’t happen and won’t exist so... fictional world to reside in it is then. Yes, I am a VERY sad person, lulz. Speaking of which, oh man it’s Christmas Eve, I better work on another chapter of the Addisons Sitcom. I need to have Pink want to be the center of attention and break everything in a comical manner. I don’t know why I like making Pink this blood thirsty person while remaining elegant. It’s just funny to me. but oh man I also need to complete the secret santa giftart. arughskj art is always such a chore for me. wish it were fun and easy like it is for most people. I only find writing to be fun for me, depending what it is. Like having to respond back to people or RP’s is also a chore at times. urgh, hate how my brain is so... lame and finds everything a chore nowadays. Drank this energy drink and now I have a migraine.

[wholoveseggs]

Small Victories

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

{Daemon Targaryen X Reader} After a tourney in which Daemon places second, he seeks solace from his loss and finds it in his little northern maid.

♡♡ Hello darlings! I'm branching out slightly and writing about a new character {Don't worry, I'm still writing Elijah} xoxo ♡♡

5.3k words - Warnings: smutt, size!kink, rough sex, dom!daemon, slight choking, virgin!reader, northern!reader, servant!reader, pre-dance Daemon, huge power imbalance...

���♡ Hey! I didn't tag anyone because I'm unsure if you want to read Daemon content. If you wish to be tagged in future Daemon let me know ♡♡

You didn't like the Red Keep, it was too grand for your liking. Even with all of the people in it you still felt alone. At night, you could hear voices echoing throughout the halls, sometimes they were singing or laughing and other times they were screaming or moaning.

You could never tell where the sounds were coming from, it gave the place an odd feeling of being haunted. Ghosts weren't something you put your faith in, but that didn't stop the hair from standing up on the back of your neck whenever you heard a strange sound.

If it was up to you, you wouldn't live here. You would be back in the little cottage you grew up in, far into the north and as far away from King's landing as you could possibly be. It was a funny contradiction, that such a grand place in a warm environment could feel so cold, while a small house in the cold north could feel so full of warmth.

The last thing your mother said to you, was that you should be grateful. That your place in the Red Keep was the highest honor your family could ever hope to receive, and that you should do anything to stay here. To be a lady's maid to the queen, was the highest achievement a low born could achieve.

You tried to be, even though your heart yearned for the snowy landscape of your childhood. You wanted to be happy, you were thankful, but you couldn't help the way you missed the north.

So to try and capture just a bit of personal freedom, you would walk the halls at night. It was the only time you could pretend to be somewhere else, even if it was only for a moment. You would close your eyes and imagine yourself somewhere new and exciting, and when you opened them you would be reminded of where you really were.

Tonight you were in a particularly adventurous mood, there was a tourney the next day for Prince Viserys and his wife Aemma to celebrate their wedding. The Red Keep would be full of guests and it would be loud and full of life, you were sure to be very busy, and so you decided to stay up late and postpone sleep for a few more hours.

There was a room in the library that had a view of the city, one you liked to frequent often. It had a large window and a balcony that was rarely used. It was a nice place to go to clear your mind and think about home.

When you entered, nobody was around except for a cat that was perched on the windowsill. She was a lovely thing with black fur and bright green eyes, the perfect color of a dark forest at night.

"Hello, beautiful." You greeted her with a smile and a light stroke along her back. You looked out the window with her at your side, watching the moon reflect off the ocean and the waves crashing against the shore.

The sound of footsteps behind you made you look over your shoulder, your eyes landing on a man with a face that made you stand up straight and bow your head.

"Prince Daemon." You greeted him, not looking up from the floor.

"Young maidens like yourself shouldn't be out so late." He said, stepping closer to you. You didn't dare move or even breathe, his presence made you feel like you were caught doing something wrong.

"I couldn't sleep, my lord," You answered, not meeting his eyes. This was your first real meeting with the prince, but you knew the rumors that surrounded him.

He didn't respond to your answer, instead, he turned his attention towards the view. Leaning against the window, his posture was dismissive, as though you weren't there. He gave you a side glance that read, 'leave,' and so you did, not wanting to get in his way.

"I apologize, I didn't mean to intrude." You said, walking past him, heading towards the doorway.

"You are from the north," he spoke, still looking out into the water.

"Yes, my lord," You answered, stopping when he started speaking.

"How did you find yourself as a maid in the south?" He asked, looking at you, his eyes piercing through you.

The truth of the matter made you feel shameful, even though it was beyond your control. So you decided to tell him what you've been telling everyone.

"I was given as a gift for our new queen," You said, looking down at the floor.

"Is that what they call it?" Daemon laughed, his laugh was as harsh as his voice, the kind of laugh that could cut you open if you let it. "I heard you were given away as payment for a debt."

Your cheeks reddened and you looked at the ground, your throat closing up at the mention of your family's failure. Pride wasn't something you could afford anymore, but you couldn't stop the words that came out of your mouth.

"I didn't realize that princes were so fond of gossip." You said, meeting his eyes, your words were meant to cut, and they did.

He stood up straight, his expression unreadable as he closed the distance between the two of you, towering over you.

"Ahh, so they did sell you." He smirked, looking down at you. "Whoring can make you better coin… recover a debt quicker."

Your hands balled up into fists and you took a step closer, a defiant glare on your face.

He chuckled and tilted his head, he reached out and touched your chin, his hand was soft but firm as he turned your face to look at him.

"With a pretty face like yours, I'm sure you would make quite a bit of coin," His voice was a purr, a seductive growl that made your insides feel tight. "I could show you a better use for those lips."

His words were shockingly vulgar, his voice was rough and commanding and his eyes were hungry, but you didn't move away, you stayed still. You knew the dragon prince was a scandalous man, but you didn't think he would ever be so bold.

"There is no honor in a whore's coin." You answered, pushing his hand away from your face.

"Is there honor in emptying the queen's chamber pot?" He retorted, grinning slightly at how red your cheeks had become.

"Not all of us have the opportunity to choose what sort of honor we can acquire,” You said, standing your ground as best as you could.

He towered over you, his tall frame casting a shadow that almost completely covered you. He wasn't like the king or queen, who were kind and generous. There was something dark and malicious about him, as though the great beasts of his house lurked just below his skin, waiting to come out.

"You have a smart mouth, little northerner." He mused, his eyes drifting down to your lips. "It's a wonder that the queen has not put a gag in it."

"It's a poor quality I have yet to overcome." You responded, pulling away from him and putting some distance between the two of you.

He watched you move away, his eyes following your movements and the shape of your body, making you feel hot.

"I will think of you when I win the tourney tomorrow." He said, his tone smug and confident. "A sweet northern flower to bring back with me."

"You will be bringing back nothing, prince Daemon." You said, your voice a warning.

He laughed and looked at you, his eyes dancing with mischief.

"We'll see about that."

And with those final words, he left the room. You felt flustered and annoyed, a strange mixture of feelings that confused and angered you. You didn't like the prince, but he made your heart race, his voice and his eyes made you feel a strange sense of heat.

You wanted to be disgusted, and yet all you could think about was seeing him again.

It was a hectic morning, with all the knights and guests arriving, and you were late. Your tardiness had earned you a sharp reprimand from your head maid, but you were too distracted by the upcoming event to care.

The prospect of seeing the prince again was something you weren't sure you wanted, but couldn't stop thinking about.

You didn't like the way his eyes lingered on you, or how he made you feel things that shouldn't be felt. The rogue prince was indeed a fitting title, he was a scoundrel and a liar, a man of dishonor.

You thought that maybe he was the sort of person that the south created, perhaps they took people like you and turned them into someone like him. But then again, he wasn't really a southerner, no, he was a dragon.

The sound of cheers and laughter outside made your ears perk up. The queen was already seated with the other royals in their viewing box, and you were in a nearby tent, preparing more wine and food.

The tourney had just begun, and so far the knights had all performed well. You had only been paying a bit of attention, trying to do your job and keep out of the way.

The head maid was a cruel, vindictive woman, and she had been taking out her frustration on you all day. Her temper was short and her hands were rough, she was the kind of woman that would slap your hands or pull your hair if she was upset. But today she decided to simply make your life miserable with her words.

She gave you the worst jobs and the heaviest items to carry, and when she did allow you to stand and rest, she would hit your feet with her broom and tell you to get back to work.

"Once you are finished pouring wine, I want you to go to the prince's tent and serve him." She ordered, her eyes were sharp and her words were harsh.

"The prince has a squire to serve him." You protested, the idea of facing Daemon again made your cheeks turn red.

"The prince requested a woman's company,” She smiled, her eyes looking at you with an almost wicked satisfaction.

"I believe what the prince is looking for can be found on the street of silk, not among the ladies maids." You countered, hoping to change her mind.

"It's an honor to serve the prince, and he has specifically asked for a northern girl." The head maid was adamant, not willing to let this go.

You clenched your jaw and took a deep breath, biting your tongue as you looked at the floor.

"Very well, madam."

You held back tears as you climbed the stairs to the viewing box, pouring wine into the cups. Keeping your eyes low and only lifting them when absolutely necessary as you made your way down the line of royals.

Everyone began to stir and chat as the final round was announced. You turned to face the arena, watching as the prince mounted his horse, the sight of him made your heart flutter.

He was a handsome man, there was no denying that, his long blonde hair was braided and tied back, and his purple eyes were focused and determined.

His horse was a massive stallion, black as night, and he rode him as though they were one. He moved with a grace and confidence that was captivating.

The final round began, the two men charging at each other. You were nervous and excited, not knowing what to expect.

The clash of steel was the only sound in the air, it echoed throughout the entire arena. The crowd was silent, their eyes locked on the scene before them.

The two men passed each other, once, twice, three times. The tension building with each near miss, until finally the two knights clashed again.

Daemon's opponent had a slight edge over him, being bigger and stronger, but Daemon was quicker. But on the fourth pass, his opponent managed to catch him off guard, sending him flying into the dirt.

The crowd gasped, their hands covering their mouths as the prince's horse bucked and ran, leaving him in the dust.

You winced at the sight, it wasn't a good fall. He landed on his back, hard, and he lay still for a moment, his eyes squeezed shut as he caught his breath.

Only when the head maid cleared her throat did you realize you had been holding your breath.

"You are needed in the prince's tent, girl." she commanded, grabbing the jug from your hands and giving you a stern look.

You nodded, taking the tray of food and wine from the table and heading out of the box. Your heart was racing and your palms were sweaty, the thought of seeing Daemon after such a public humiliation was not something you were looking forward to.

The air was alive with the roar of the people, and the thumping of their feet sounded like thunder. They were chanting for the champion, something that would surely upset Daemon even more.

When you got to his tent, you hesitated, taking a moment to calm your nerves. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, letting the noise of the crowd fade away.

You stepped inside, finding him sitting in a chair, his shirt was off and his squire was cleaning a nasty gash on his arm.

"I'm sorry for intruding, Prince Daemon." You said, placing the tray of food on the table and pouring a cup of wine.

"Leave," he barked at his squire, his voice was gruff and his jaw was clenched.

"But my prince-" his squire protested, looking up from the wound he was treating.

"Now."

The boy left quickly, leaving you alone with the brooding prince.

"Would you like some wine, my lord?" You asked, your voice soft and timid, the last thing you wanted was to make him even more upset.

"No," he hissed, his voice sharp as a knife. "Bring me a new shirt."

You did as he asked, walking over to the large chest in the corner. It was full of clothes, the colors and fabrics were fine and beautiful. You selected a clean white shirt and brought it over to him, your eyes focused on the ground.

"Look at me," he commanded, his voice was quiet, but it was a demand, not a request.

You lifted your eyes, meeting his gaze. His eyes were cold, the same shade of violet that had captivated you was now a glare.

You did very well, my lord," You tried to reassure him, your voice soft and comforting.

"Is that meant to be comforting?" He asked, his tone was harsh and his expression was a scowl.

"Fine. I have never seen a worse display than the one you put on today," you said, the words slipping from your mouth before you could stop them.

He smiled, then laughed, his shoulders shaking as his amusement grew. Only his brother the king would ever talk to him this way, and here you were, a young low born northerner, mocking him. He didn't know why he enjoyed it coming from you, perhaps it was because your words meant nothing. You were no one, and he was the prince, and yet he found himself intrigued.

"That was quite a show, wasn't it?" He chuckled, the sound was hollow, not at all humorous.

"It was humiliating," you answered, the words escaping before you could stop them.

"Careful," he warned, his eyes narrowing. "You're lucky I find your insolence amusing."

"I thought it was why you had asked for me," you retorted, setting the shirt on the table and taking a step back.

He stood up from the chair, closing the space between the two of you. The air was thick with tension, his eyes boring into yours, his face was inches from yours.

"I didn't lose the tourney," he stated, his voice a low growl.

"You didn't win either," you countered, your cheeks flushed red, your heart racing in your chest.

He smiled, the gesture was almost predatory, he reached out and grabbed your face, his hands were rough and his grip was tight.

"You are quite the mouthy little wench," his words were a harsh whisper, his breath hot against your skin.

You didn't answer, afraid of what he would do if you spoke. He seemed to be enjoying himself, his eyes dancing with amusement as he stared at you.

"On your knees," he ordered, his tone demanding.

"My lord, I-" you protested, trying to pull away.

"Kneel," his voice was louder this time, and you knew that he was not going to repeat himself.

You hesitated for a moment, but he was the prince, and you couldn't disobey him. So you lowered yourself onto your knees, looking up at him, waiting for him to tell you what to do next.

"Is it true that northern girls can take a cock better than southern ones?" He asked, his hand still holding onto your chin.

You didn't know how to respond, his words making your cheeks burn. You could only stare at him, your mind reeling as you tried to figure out what he wanted.

He smiled, and the look in his eyes made your heart race. "Open your mouth, little northerner."

You did as he commanded, your eyes never leaving his. He pushed his thumb past your lips and slowly pressed down onto your tongue, rubbing it in circles before slowly dragging it out.

Your lips parted and your breathing became heavier as he traced his wet thumb across your bottom lip, his eyes fixated on the movement.

"Beautiful." He whispered before sliding his thumb back into your mouth, pushing it all the way into your throat, causing you to gag.

He pulled his thumb from your mouth and wiped the spit off on your cheek before grabbing you by the arms and lifting you up, turning you around and pushing you face first into the table.

"My lord," you gasped, struggling against his strong grip.

Daemon laughed at the look of shock on your face, his cock growing harder at the sight. "See? I knew you would make a great whore," he smirked, his words bringing a flush to your face.

He pulled your dress up, exposing your ass and legs. His hands were rough as he groped you, squeezing your thighs and your cheeks.

You pushed against him, trying to free yourself, but his grip was too strong. He pushed your thighs apart, his hand trailing up to your cunt, his fingers stroking your entrance, teasing you.

He softened at your defiance, a smirk crossing his lips. "I enjoy you, little northerner. Perhaps I should keep you," he mused.

He slid his finger into your cunt, his touch gentle and slow. You whimpered, pushing against him again.

"You would be my little northern flower," he murmured, his finger moving in and out of your cunt, the pace becoming quicker. "A blue rose in my garden."

You were ashamed of how aroused you were, the prince's touch was intoxicating, and you couldn't stop yourself from grinding your hips against his hand. You had never been with a man before and the pleasure he was giving you was beyond anything you had ever felt.

He slid another finger inside of you, his movements quick and rough. You moaned, biting your lip as you felt yourself getting closer to release.

He suddenly pulled away, the sudden absence of his touch made you whimper. He spun you around, knocking objects off the table and pinning you against it. Your hands went to his chest, pushing him back, but his grip was too strong, his eyes filled with lust.

"You're a feisty one," he whispered, his lips trailing down your neck, his hands gripping your ass, lifting you up and pressing you against his hips. "I guess it's true that the fires always burn hotter in the north,"

You shivered as he sucked and bit at the skin on your neck, his teeth scraping across your sensitive flesh, leaving red marks behind. You couldn't help but moan, the feeling was so intense, and the sounds were so sinful.

"My prince... I..." You stuttered, trying to find the words, but he cut you off with a kiss.

The feel of his hands on your body, his lips on yours, his cock hard against you, was intoxicating. You had never felt this way before, this desire, this want. He made you feel like you were drowning in the fire of his touch. He was a dragon, and he would take what he wanted.

You couldn't resist, you gave in, kissing him back, letting his tongue explore your mouth. He smelled of blood, dirt and sweat, a combination that shouldn't have been appealing, but was.

You could taste his lust on your lips, and it made you hungry for more. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pressing yourself closer to him, and he moaned, the sound rumbling in his chest. He was so much larger than you, so much stronger, and you felt so small in his arms.

His hand trailed down your chest, slowly untying the strings that held up your dress, his fingers tracing over the fabric, teasing you.

"Sweet little northern girl," he teased, his voice a low growl. "Are you going to give yourself to me?"

"Yes," you whispered, your cheeks flushed pink.

He kissed you again, his lips rough and demanding, his hand pushing your dress down, exposing your breasts. "You've never touched yourself before, have you?”

"No, my Prince," you whispered, your little hands curled into his chest, your nails digging into his skin.

"That's alright, I'll show you how it's done."

His hands slid down to your thighs, his fingers trailing up, his touch light and teasing. You let out a gasp as his fingers brushed over your cunt, touching a spot that made your body tremble.

"This little spot right here," he said, rubbing his thumb against it, "is the most sensitive part of your body. The more pressure, the better."

You nodded, gasping and moaning as he pressed his thumb against it, circling it. You could feel the heat rising within you, the pleasure building.

"Feels good doesn't it?" He whispered, his voice husky, his lips brushing against your ear.

"Y-yes," you stuttered, your hips moving, grinding against his hand.

He chuckled, the sound sending shivers down your spine.

"Do you like being my little whore, hmm?" He asked, his lips trailing down your neck, his kisses hot and wet.

"N-no," you moaned, pushing him back, trying to fight against him.

He laughed, his teeth nipping at your collarbone. "Liar," he whispered, his tongue licking over the marks he'd made.

His hands reaching down to his waist, undoing his breeches and pulling them off, his cock springing free. You gasped, your eyes wide as you took in the size of him.

He took your hand and placed it on his cock, his eyes burning into yours. "Go on, feel it," he whispered.

Your fingers curled around his cock, your small hand barely able to fit around him. You moved your hand, sliding it down the length of his shaft, his cock thick and pulsing in your hand. His skin was so warm and smooth, his breathing deepening as you began to move your hand up and down, stroking him slowly.

You could see the scars from battle stretched across his chest and torso. Small claw-like marks around his pectoral and a deep line that stretched down the left side of his rib cage. He was a hardened warrior, and you could tell by his scars, he had been through much to get where he was now.

You squeezed his cock, moving your hand up and down, his breathing deepening and his eyes growing hazy. He watched you, his gaze following every movement you made. You were starting to get more comfortable, taking pleasure in watching him, in making him feel good. You found the nerve to press the pad of your thumb against the tip, feeling the moisture leaking from him.

"Good girl," he praised, his voice low and husky.

You felt a wave of pride, knowing that you were pleasing him, that he liked the way you were touching him. You continued to stroke him, squeezing and pulling at his cock, watching his face, seeing the pleasure on his features.

He groaned, his eyes closing and his head tilting back, his breath catching. You could feel his cock throbbing in your hand, and you knew that he was getting close.

He let out a low growl and grabbed your wrist, halting your movements. "If you keep that up, I'm going to spill my seed all over this pretty little dress of yours," he said, his eyes full of heat.

"Is that so, my lord?" You asked, unable to hide the hint of amusement in your voice.

He grabbed your hips and pulled you under him, his body caging you, trapping you beneath him. He was breathing hard, his face flushed, his cock hard and resting on your stomach. His eyes burned into yours, his gaze intense, his hands gripping your hips, holding you steady.

You weren't talking back anymore, he could see the fear in your eyes, the hesitance, and that only made him want you more. His hand went to your throat, applying gentle pressure, a silent warning.

He could feel you trembling beneath him, and he tightened his grip, a primal, possessive urge rising within him. Your small hands pushing into his chest, clutching at his heated flesh.

"Open for me," he growled, his eyes fixed on yours.

You parted your thighs, allowing him to press closer to you. He growled, lifting your legs and wrapping them around his waist, his cock brushing against your cunt. He felt you tighten, your eyes widening with trepidation.

He chuckled, loving how terrified and eager you were at the same time. He gave you a moment, and then he slowly pushed into you. You whimpered, your nails digging into his back, your eyes closed, your face twisted in pain.

"Breathe," he said, rubbing his thumb against your cheek, "it will hurt for a just moment and then I will make you feel good,"

You nodded, taking a deep breath as you felt his cock hit your maidenhead.

"Are you ready, little northerner?" He whispered.

You gripped his forearms and nodded.

He pushed in slowly, breaking through your barrier. You cried out, the pain was intense and immediate. He groaned, the feel of your tight cunt was intoxicating.

He stayed still, giving you time to adjust. Your nails dug into his arms, leaving deep scratches in his flesh.

"Such a pretty, tight little cunt," he growled, nipping at your neck.

You kept your eyes closed, trying to focus on his words and not the pain. He began to move with slow, deep strokes, his cock stretching you, filling you. He was bigger than he felt in your hands, and you swore you could feel him everywhere.

He moaned, his hips rocking into you, his hand still on your throat, making you feel lightheaded. You looked up at him with wide eyes, your lips parted, your cheeks flushed. You felt so full of him, stretched open, the pain and pleasure mixing into one.

He watched your reaction with a smirk, amused by your shocked, satisfied expression. He was moving slowly, enjoying your warmth and the feel of your cunt clenching around him. He knew you were enjoying it, too, your eyes half-closed, a soft moan escaping your lip. Your small frame was arched to his body, your hands holding on to his neck.

You were surprised at his gentleness. You'd heard that the dragon prince liked to rough up women, but he was being as careful as if you were made of spun sugar. You felt so small and helpless underneath him, his large body nearly engulfing yours, and yet he wasn't hurting you. His touch was delicate, reverent. The way he spoke to you, calling you pet names, made your heart skip a beat.

You arched against him, a soft cry leaving your lips as his strokes got faster, deeper, hitting a place inside you that sent a sharp, hot pleasure through you.

"Does my little northerner like her prince's cock?" He said, a laugh in his voice, he began to pick up the pace, pounding into you.

You squeaked and pushed on his chest, the sensations becoming too much. He grabbed your hips and held you still, fucking you hard and fast, his eyes full of fire.

You felt your release rising up inside you, the tension in your body winding tighter and tighter. You could feel yourself clamping down on his cock, the pleasure almost too much, the sweet pain sending you over the edge.

He groaned at the sight of you coming undone, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps as you shattered around him. He could feel the tension in your muscles as your climax tore through you. He slowed his movements, easing out the last waves of pleasure, drawing it out until you were a shuddering, moaning mess.

He was close behind, his thrusts erratic, his breathing harsh. He pulled out and spilled his seed across your stomach, his hips bucking. He pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes closed, a contented sigh leaving his lips. At least he had one victory today.

Your face was hot with shame, your mind unable to comprehend what just happened. The prince's seed was cooling on your stomach and chest, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. Your hands went to your face, covering it as tears came to your eyes, you had never felt so good and so embarrassed at once.

He moved off of you, his eyes locked on yours, a smirk crossing his lips. He looked satisfied, his gaze wandering over your body, lingering on the wetness between your legs, the mess he'd made of you. He tossed you a cloth to clean yourself with. You wiped his seed off your skin, watching him dress, his blonde hair still braided back, his purple eyes full of lust and desire. He was a warrior, a dragon, he was beauty and strength, power and masculinity. He was everything you wanted and feared, a beast who could destroy you.

He gave you a side glance, his eyes full of amusement. "You may go," he said, shooing you away with a hand.

Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, as you took a shaky breath. You stood up, gathering the pieces of your dress and your underclothes. Your legs were wobbly, and you felt weak, sore, and full of shame.

"Yes, my prince," you said quietly, looking at the floor, unable to meet his eyes.

He chuckled, the sound of his voice making you shiver. "Don't be so timid, little northerner. This is the beginning, not the end," he said, his words sending a jolt of fear and excitement through you.

He was right, this was only the beginning. You were his servant, and he could do with you as he pleased. He would have you come to him whenever he chose, on the warmest summer nights and the coldest winter days. He would take what he wanted, when he wanted.

He was a dragon, and his will was as strong as his blood.

And deep down, you knew you would enjoy it. He was the perfect thing to distract you from the mundanity of your life, the endless monotony of serving others.

Perhaps the Red Keep wouldn't be so terrible, not if it meant serving him.

[patricia-taxxon]

i don't know much about systems, but i know a lot about autism, and i think "syscourse" basically just an intra community disability support needs squabble but without the word "disability" to help contextualize it. Lemme try and help.

A lot of toxic disability discourse is just people with high support needs who are seeking *support* vs. a neglected majority of people with lower support needs who are mainly seeking validity and understanding. Both groups form a misguided resentment of each other. People who are profoundly disabled are more likely to get defensive and feel attacked when someone tries to spin silver linings from their disability, feel like their struggles are being erased by less effected people who outnumber them and speak over them. Meanwhile, lower support needs people are likely suffering in some manner that is invisible to them and everyone else, and they want nothing more than for that invisible problem to have a name.

I am, in spite of how I might look as a disembodied collection of smart sounding text posts, a high support needs autist. I have an unfair resentment of most autism positivity posts because I feel it doesn't represent my needs. I often feel alone in my own community due to a combination of being spoken over + your average everyday internalized ableism. I am, in my lowest moments, the autism equivalent of the anti-endo sysmed who writes long posts about how terrible and disabling DID is. I'm also, I guess, a low support needs system, so in some way I've seen this horrid discourse from both sides. The lesson I've taken is this: as a disability advocate, it is pointless for me to harangue and chew out those for whom my disability is a personality quirk in a desperate attempt to be seen. They too are neglected by the same things I am, and I must not be yet another voice telling them they don't deserve support. At the same time, those who are least affected by a disability are in the majority, and hold privilege over those most affected. Having a disability that is sometimes unrecognized by other disabled people is not a comparable oppression to the world simply not being built to accommodate you on any level whatsoever.

In conclusion, both of you are talking past each other, please apply theory of ableism to your discourse before its too late.

Sincerely, Avery & Amber.

[a-hazbin-reader]

Heave you done hcs with Wifey scratching/touching Alastor’s ears/tail?

I HAVE NOW??

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Suggestive

Description: ☝️⬆️

Alastor only trusts his wife to mess with his ears and tail, everyone else would lose a hand if they tried, some people actually have

But with you, it's different, he's comfortable with you and doesn't mind letting you see all his different reactions

Will actually seek you out on certain days, laying himself in your lap and hoping you'll get the hint

You know exactly what he wants but it's more fun if you pretend you don't, patting his head before going back to your book

"Long day, my dear~?"

He let's out a small bleat, his ears twitching upwards in an effort to draw your attention to them

"Better now that I'm with you..."

You don't even glance at his ears, nor do you look at his tail when he suddenly stretches out like a cat and wiggles it

Don't make him say it, it's embarrassing

Alastor let's out another bleat and stares at you pitifully, making you hum and hover your hand over his head

He happily meets it and rubs his head against your hand, letting out a happy sigh as your fingers graze along his ears

You can't help but laugh at him a little, rolling your eyes as you rub and scratch behind his fuzzy ears

"You could've just asked me~"

He's gone lax on top of you, his tail swaying as the rest of him lays in a daze

"Hn... too embarrassing..."

His eyes are closed, head tilting to get you to scratch at a different angle as he practically drools in your lap

Once he's asleep, you lean down to kiss his ears and watch them twitch from the soft touch

He's such a cute man

His tail is a slightly different story, he covers it for a reason and finds the area to be very sensitive

His tail is far more expressive than his ears, and you use it against him whenever you can

So usually, when you're touching it, it's to rile him up or let him know just what he's in for later

He's taken off his jacket and is distracted by whatever he's working on? His tail slowly swaying as he hums to himself with his back turned to you?

How are you not supposed to mess with his tail when he leaves it out like that???

You saddle up next to him, kissing his cheek and neck affectionately as your hand creeps it's way down his back

"Darling, just what has gotten into you~?"

His tone is playful, tilting his head to give you more access as he wraps one arm around you to keep you from pulling away

Your other hand plays with one of his ears, leaning up to kiss the tip of it before whispering in his ear

"Nothing yet~"

Your words paired with the fact that you're twirling his tail in your fingers makes his entire body go hot

His ears stick up straight, and he drops what he's holding, giving you a wobbly smile as he tries to compose himself

"You are an insatiable woman!"

You just smile at him sweetly and keep rubbing his tail, the traitorous thing wagging from the attention as a pleased shudder runs through the rest of his body

It's all he can do to suppress a groan, giving you a dangerous look but not trying to stop you

"Upstairs. Our bedroom. Give me two minutes."

You can't help but laugh and give him one last kiss before sauntering out of the room, eager to do as Alastor says

You stop at the doorway, looking back to give him a look that would scare most people but instead turns Alastor on

"Don't keep my waiting, Alastor~ Or I'll come back and bite those cute ears of yours~"

His ears and tail both stick up straight, frantically putting away his little project and scrambling after you

Don't threaten him with a good time

I'm a sucker for teasing this man 😭

[lessi-lover]

don't break me when i let you in II barcelona femení x teen!reader

warnings: mention of suicide, implied self harm, self hate, spanish federation.

this is the longest i've ever written and i'm so proud thank you all for sending ideas to help me keep this draft alive x

don't break me when i let you in II barcelona femení x teen!reader

"you don't have to be strong all the time, you know?" it was an ignorant affair to believe, something only somebody with a slight sliver of saved up hope might trust. not you. not the broken shell of a person that can only believe you are the only thing keeping yourself together.

the glue to a cracked vase. in which the vase was you and you were slowly breaking under pressure that had been following you for years. if you hadn't hit rock bottom a couple months ago, you were certainly scraping the edge with your bare teeth now.

you had been one of their strongest forwards available to select from. a top forward in your league, it would be silly for them not to call you up with the titles next to your name at such a young age. it was inevitable that you would be called up for the world cup squad selection and there was nothing you could have done about it even if you tried.

you were just so helpless weren't you?

there was nobody to tell that you didn't want to travel to australia to play for a team that had ripped you inside out before you were even first national tournament debut, nobody that would understand how badly you wanted to represent your country and how willing you were to put your body on the line for it even for a single minute in spanish colours.

is that why you stayed quiet?

you stared towards yourself in the mirror, wondering if maybe your eyes had ever truly been as light as they used to tell you. that the light in your eyes you had been promised was always there had just seemingly disappeared. the eyes that they still talk about that seem so foreign to you now as you look back at yourself through shattered glass. wondering if maybe it was all just a lie.

maybe it was all just a lie.

a black and white faceless lie that everything you would go through for a ruthless tournament was for the better of you. or worse. a binary promise that everything would be okay, that all the suffering would end in good for you. or not.

but you look back through the same eyes that you were meant to be able to trust, the eyes that let everything just happen without looking back, and you still don't understand how you could be so easily deceived, taken apart from top to bottom like a neglected toy.

a useless, discardable toy. was it all a lie?

maybe the people who were meant to protect you and care for you were actually abusing you to wits' ends. maybe it wasn't that you needed the further training they made you endure after your previous training, but that you were so young and fresh and all too easy to manipulate.

maybe it was those you trusted and who sent you away with the assurance that you would be the next spanish legacy that isolated you from the world and treated you as a vessel to secure gold for spain.

but you were to blind and powerless to seek help.

you had been the silent one. the one too shattered to even bear the trial that came with the aftermath of the events following your world cup win. you knew the federation would come after you. you were the one who wanted so badly to sign the document that your teammates had but you couldn't bring yourself to look at the people who had broken you from the inside out for even just a second to speak your mind.

you were just a shell of a once strong force now weren't you?

you knew they would try and rip away each and every title you had ever worked for and your playing rights along with it. you were a world cup, champions league, copa de la reina, nations league and liga f winner. but maybe you were just a vulnerable, small cog in a relentless system that wouldn't stop until you broke down and they would throw you away like the others.

the fear of losing everything you had worked for since you were a small child paralyzed you for months. the mere thought of speaking out, of seeking help, seemed as impossible as how you got into the situation in the first place.

the federation had an iron grip on your life, they could control you whether you were defenseless to it or not and any caught wind of saying something felt like signing your own demise.

it would end you surely? don't you think that maybe speaking out for help would become the end of your career? one that had barely started as you were only freshly twenty years old? staying quiet was the better option. you had thought you could escape unscathed, but your reality was far from it.

nobody had your best interest and those who did didn't make it clear enough until you finally broke down from the denied pressure. it felt like a void sometimes. as if you were screaming and nobody could hear you, or maybe nobody cared?

no they care. didn't they?

did they care when you were forced out of bed early in the morning to complete extra practice before the day even started? did they care when you were just a young teenager illegally moving up into the senior divisions of international football to cover for seniors who had denied their call up's and was made to exhaust your body more than you ever should? did they care when the private meetings you were obligated to attend turned into time to yell at you, to break you down as if you hadn't given your entire life to the federation.

but then again, if not football what else did you have to live for?

you asked yourself these questions over and over again. each time just hoping that the harsh reminder of your situation would lessen. it never did. it never would. it would be stuck with you no matter how hard you tried to block it out, no matter how hard you tried to ignore who and what made you shrink a million times over.

the fear, the abuse, the meal plans, the body exhaustion, the denied freedom, the stolen happiness, a cruel reminder of the bottomless hole you had found yourself falling deeper and deeper and there was nothing you could do to get out.

you were truly and utterly stuck.

~

the office is cold, its white walls a stark contrast to the warmth in the hallway you had been waiting in for the past half hour. the thick carpet muffles your footsteps as you walk toward the large desk in the center of the room, the air you're walking into a harsh wind of tension that couldn't be cut with a blade if you tried.

you swallow hard, your throat dry despite the countless bottles of water you’ve consumed throughout the day. but your hydration doesn't matter now, whatever it said to you in the next twenty minutes does.

the glare of the desk lamp catches your eye, reflecting the same harsh light that seems to spotlight you everywhere, waiting for you to make your next mistake. you glance at the stern faces of the officials seated behind the desk, their expressions unreadable as they read through what looks like your performance reports.

“please, take a seat,” the head of the federation says, his voice clipped as he places his hand predatorily on your lower back and guides you to sit down. you lower yourself into the chair, the thin material of your club shorts rubbing uncomfortably against the velvet furniture.

the head official adjusts his collar, peering over them at you with a sharp look almost as though you had done something to personally offend him. but those aren't anything close to his next words.

“you’ve been doing exceptionally well, tesoro.” he begins, but his tone is far from genuine and you feel that something else is coming. “your performance has been impressive, especially considering your age and the closeness of the tournament.”

you nod, though his praise feels hollow, almost as if you're falling into a set trap made just for you. your heart races and you grip your hands on the chair. you want to speak up, to voice your concerns about the overwhelming training schedules and the strain it’s putting on your body, but the words get lost in your throat.

“we’ve decided to integrate you into the senior squad for the upcoming world cup. it’s a great opportunity, but it also means you’ll need to do far more than what you're currently putting in.”

your chest tightens. you’ve been waiting for this for a long time, but when he finally tells you it feels overwhelming and you don't understand why a moment you have been prepping for years of your life makes you feel uneasy. you push it off as nerves.

the world cup is a chance to showcase your skills on a global stage, this is your moment, don't stare it in the face and back down.

another official at the side of the room glances at you with a fleeting look of concern before turning back to his notes. he seems to recognize the strain you’re currently feeling, but his words are lost just like yours as the head continues to talk to you.

“your development is crucial to our success,” the head official says, his voice cutting through your thoughts. “we expect you to handle this responsibility with the utmost professionalism. this is an opportunity for you to prove yourself and secure your place on the national team.”

"and who knows, i have spots emptied by débiles that need filling. this is your shot don't blow it. tesoro." there is something about the way he talks to you and speaks about you over your head that makes you shiver right down to your core.

you nod again, feeling the weight of their words drop into the palm of your hand and the room seems to close in on you as they continue discussing your role to each other and the intense training you will need to undergo in the upcoming months.

the meeting ends with a firm handshake and a curt nod from yourself and as you leave the office, the clear expectations settle heavily on your shoulders, the fear of failing and the pressure to succeed feeling almost insurmountable. yourself unaware of the danger you have just put yourself in.

~

you're not even sure when it all started. you can't pinpoint when the abuse started, if you could even call it that, or if it was there the whole time and you normalised it for yourself because that was the better option instead of speaking out in your mind.

it was enough of the lack of players available that caused them to attempt to burn you out as much as they could. it was enough for the federation to take one look at you and decide that the weight of the world relied on your shoulder whether you liked it or not.

that was your purpose. it was your job to lead the team to victory without a second mistake. without a setback, through injury, responsible for the good and the bad, amidst an internal battle with yourself that was dragging you down, and most importantly with a smile on your face even if you were shattered from the inside.

a smile on your face. nobody would notice would they?

~

“siéntate, tesoro,” he commands, his tone carrying an edge of impatience and you feel yourself move quickly into his office at his voice. you sink into the chair, its firm surface a harsh contrast to how had felt in the chair only mere months ago.

“you’re here because you’ve been selected for the world cup squad,” he begins, his voice cold and he digs his hand into the desk as he leans close to you. “but let’s be clear, tesoro. being selected was only the first challenge. we expect more from you.”

you nod, but the weight of his words feel heavy and you can't help but notice that the official who had given you the sorry look was missing from his spot behind the desk.

“we’ve noticed that you’re not quite fitting the ideal player we had in mind,” he continues, and you shake off any thoughts of the past official when your eyes meet his. “you’re not fast enough, not agile enough. you’re not meeting the physical standards we expect from you.”

his words sting, each critique like a hard blow to your self-esteem that wasn't really there in the first place. “your performance has been adequate,” he says, “but adequate isn’t enough. we need you to be exceptional and above all competition. and right now, you’re neither of those.”

he leans forward, his breath fanning over you as you look down at the floor in fear. “your weight is one concern of our team, but it’s not just about being heavier or lighter. it’s about how you present yourself. we need you to be leaner, faster and even more dynamic. you’re not the perfect image we want for the team right now.”

the room seems to close in around you as he continues. “we’ve seen some players who didn’t meet our expectations and they were dropped. you need to understand that if you don’t shape up, you will be next to not enter through doors again. comprendido?"

he gestures to a pile of strawn documents on his desk and you look up from the concrete fall at the harsh snap of his fingers in your face.

“we have reports here, tesoro, that detail everything we need from you. and it’s not just about physical performance. it’s about how you look, how you’re perceived by the public. you need to be more endearing, more marketable. if you can’t fulfill that role, then we'll find another.”

his gaze is relentless and he talks to you like you're a faceless object that he can discard at his will, throw away when he feels you're not complying with his demands. he can take you off this squad the moment you defend yourself.

“you’re not here just to play; you’re here to be the face of the team. the face of spain. and right now, you’re not cutting it for us. we need you to be a star, not just another player in this tournament. and if you’re not willing to meet those expectations, then you’re in the wrong place i'm afraid.”

“now, we’re going to do something,” he continued, his voice carrying a coldness that made your stomach curl inwards as you sat fearfully in your chair. “i need you to repeat after me. ‘i am not good enough. i need to be better."

you hesitate, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak as you blinked harshly to try and to stop the tears that threatened to fall. “i am not good enough. i need to be better,” you say quietly, looking down shamefully at the floor like a small child being scolded by their parent.

“louder.” he demands, his voice cutting through the room like a whip and you try not to flinch at the volume of his words. “i need to hear you say it with conviction. you are lying through your teeth pequeña. don't lie to me, i hate liars."

“again,” he insists. “and this time, say it as if you truly believe it. i am not good enough. i need to be better." you force yourself to repeat the phrase, the words make you feel as if you're stripping away everything you ever built yourself to believe. every title, every trophy, every medal, every goal. erased.

“i am not good enough. i need to be better,” you say louder, the humiliation of his cruel exercise making your stomach lurch and you struggled to keep yourself together.

“very good,” the official says, his tone carrying a note of being pleased and you hated that you loved the feeling of his approval. “you should understand that just because you’re going to australia doesn’t mean you get to enjoy it. you’re there for work, not to have fun.”

his manipulation is chilling to the bone, designed to strip away any sense of accomplishment you had ever felt. “you’re not meant to enjoy australia, it’s not a vacation. you’re there to prove yourself, not to sightsee. you need to focus solely on the tournament, on meeting the expectations we’ve set for you. or we won't hesitate to send you home.”

“this is a serious commitment. if you let yourself get distracted, you’re failing in your duty. you’re expected to perform at your peak, and that means putting aside any thoughts of leisure or enjoyment. this isn’t about you enjoying yourself; it’s about you meeting the standards we've set for you.”

“if you allow yourself to get comfortable or take things lightly,” he warns, “you’re showing weakness. and weakness is unacceptable. you need to stay sharp, stay focused, and remember why you’re here.”

his manipulation is subtle yet even then you could tell that he knew you wouldn't fight back, he had designed it to make you feel guilty for even considering enjoying the tournament.

“this is a test of your worth,” he says. “if you can’t handle the pressure and keep your focus, you’re not fit for the team. we need you performing to the highest standards that we expect from everybody else. including you. if you can’t handle the pressure, then you’re not worthy of the position. we expect you to rise to the challenge without complaint.”

~

you were far too gone to allow somebody else to take your spot. guilty and far too gone to let yourself slip through the cracks you had been told others had fallen through. somebody wouldn't be able to deal with the kind of pain you had been trained to believe as normal.

somebody else definitely wasn't as strong as the fake front you had built up to deal with it all, or at least that's what you told yourself, it made you feel better even if you didn't believe it.

you felt like nothing.

was it the pressure? was it the memories? was it the unhealable bruises that littered you from head to toe? or was it the feeling that you gave your whole existence to people who threw you away like you were just dirt on the bottom of a shoe?

you were numb.

you couldn't even remember the last time you had felt truly happy, truly yourself. the facade of a charming female footballer you put on for the world was crumbling and you were scared that people would finally see the pain that lied underneath.

the mirror showed a person trapped between who they once were and the brokenness of who they had become, drowning in a sea of your own helplessness.

you wondered if there was any way back to the person you used to be, or if that person was gone forever, if she had fallen through but ignored by who you had been built to be. this is what rock bottom feels like. rock bottom is not knowing who you are anymore, not recognising any of the memories of the person you were before.

it's the lostness of knowing that you can't find yourself again, seeing your old self in the distance but not knowing how to reach it with the strength you so clearly do not have.

it's the painful acknowledgement that the once vibrant and full of life person who was here before has been replaced by a shadow and you're struggling to fight the dark.

had the darkness swallowed you yet?

your phone rings loudly in your ear. it's more harsh this time than the previous sounds that had escaped the device. you know who's calling you because there wasn't exactly anybody in your life that would reach out to you so religiously and determindly.

you bit down on your lip. a similar memory of you lying on the floor answering the man who had made you the emotionless person that couldn't bear to even think about the game you used to live for.

you miss the person you were. that man gutted her from the inside.

the sound pierces into the thick silence of the room, demanding you to answer as it broke through the barrier of quiet you had built up. the screen of your phone lights up and you let your eyes flicker down towards it, your phone displaying the name of the person you dreaded to see you how you are now.

a feeling you couldn't quite place as dread or relief washed over you as your phone vibrated against the cold floor. dark purple bruises forming on your legs and arms from the time you had spent laying on the bathroom floor.

you slowly reach for your phone, drops of blood dripping off your skin and onto the glass as tears make their way down your face from the dark circles that countless nights of lost sleep had created for you.

your fingers tremble as you swipe to answer the call as if they are carrying the burden you've been feeling for months, and the screen lights up with the caller's name again. you can't turn back now, you've answered the one person you would hate to see you like this.

you contemplate hanging up the phone, staying silent on your end of the call as if magically the situation would disappear and you could leave like you so badly wanted to.

you sound nothing like the person you were a year ago.

"hola amorcito. are you there?" the voice on the other end of the line breaks through your thoughts, the term of endearment so familiar yet painful almost making you burst into another set of tears but you stay strong for her because that's what he would have wanted.

"ale?" you reply, your voice steady but still shaking as you lift your phone to your ear to hear better. "i'm here." there's a soft sigh on alexia's side of the phone and you can almost picture her sitting with her girlfriend on the couch, the older woman had tried to call you throughout the week but you hadn't answered and she'd been waiting for you to call her back.

"you don't have to be strong all the time, you know?"

[taurasiluvr]

I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU WITH ANYONE BUT ME / NOBODY GETS ME LIKE YOU / HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LET YOU GO? / ONLY LIKE MYSELF WHEN I'M WITH YOU / NOBODY GETS ME, YOU DO──BELLINGHAM⁵

how you can help palestine

★ been thinking about fwb!jude, blame ev for the filth you're all about to read.

 ⠀ ── ⠀warnings ;; nsfw under the cut, minors dni. friends with benefits, smut with plot, p in v, unprotected sex, cheating (on r's bf), nothing too insane

 ⠀ ── ⠀rylin's notes ;; i am sooooo down bad for jude, he's my husband. also why do 80% of my fics have to do with cheating ummmm

 ⠀ ── ⠀word count ;; 5.5k

you didn't really know how this arrangement had began, all you knew was that it was very much due to jude's very evident commitment issues.

okay, maybe commitment issues were a stretch. you'd seen how he treated his friends and family with unwavering loyalty. but when it came to relationships, there was always a barrier, an unspoken rule that he couldn't let anyone get too close. or maybe he just didn't want to ─ you weren't too sure.

it all started innocently enough.

you and jude had been friends for a while, always hanging out with the same group, always finding yourselves paired off in conversations or at the same end of the couch during movie nights. there was a comfort in your friendship, a kind of ease that made everything feel natural and genuine.

one night, after a particularly intense game and a few too many drinks, you found yourselves alone in his apartment. the air was thick with a tension that had been building for months. one thing led to another, and suddenly you were waking up in his bed, sheets tangled around your legs and his arm draped over your waist.

the next morning, you both agreed it was a one-time thing, a slip-up that wouldn't happen again.

but it did. over and over, until it wasn't just an accident anymore. it became an unspoken arrangement, a way for both of you to satisfy needs without the complications of a real relationship.

you knew it wasn't ideal. you knew that every time you woke up in his bed, you were getting a little more attached, a little more hopeful that maybe he would see you as more than just a friend with benefits. but you also knew that jude had his walls up for a reason, and trying to tear them down could end up ruining everything.

so, you kept going. you played your role, took what you could get, and tried not to think about what it meant for the future.

because as long as you had him in some way, it was better than not having him at all.

seeing him with other women was the worst part of it all. now you knew you didn't really have any rational reason to be mad because he wasn't your boyfriend ─ he was just... well, it was complicated.

you hated the gut-wrenching feeling when you saw him talking to a beautiful girl at a party, his charming smile lighting up his face in a way that made your heart ache. tt was a reminder that while you had a piece of him, it wasn’t enough to keep him from seeking out others.

you tried to mask your feelings, laughing along with your friends and pretending not to notice when he slipped away with someone new. But inside, you were screaming. the rational part of you understood that you had no claim over him, no right to be jealous. yet, the emotional part couldn't help but feel a sting of betrayal every time.

 ⠀ ── ⠀

one night, it got to be too much. you saw him at a club, his arm around a girl's waist as he whispered something into her ear, making her giggle. your stomach churned, and before you knew it, you were outside, gulping in the cool night air to calm the nausea.

when you had come back inside, your initial hurt turned into bitterness. now you usually weren't so petty ─ but if jude was allowed to go and flirt with other people, why couldn't you?

you sat down at the bar, finding some solace with the alcohol you were drinking. you knew your bait had worked when you felt someone eyeing you in your peripheral, a small smile on your face.

"hello,"

he had a slight accent, his voice was gruff and sent a shiver down your spine. you turned to face him, taking in his rugged features and confident demeanor. he was attractive, no doubt, and the way he looked at you made you feel a flicker of excitement.

"hi," you replied, your voice steady despite the storm of emotions brewing inside you.

he leaned against the bar, his gaze never leaving yours. "can i buy you a drink?"

you nodded, pushing aside the guilt that tugged at your conscience. "sure, why not?"

as you sipped the cocktail he ordered for you, you couldn't help but steal glances across the room, where jude was still engrossed in conversation with the girl. the sight fueled your determination to go through with this. if jude could have his fun, so could you.

"so, what brings you here tonight?" the man asked, his eyes glinting with interest.

you shrugged, taking another sip. "my friends told me i needed to get out, they say i've been stuck in the office for too long."

he chuckled, a low sound that made your skin tingle. "i get that. they're some good friends."

the conversation flowed easily, and you found yourself relaxing in his company. he was charming and attentive, qualities that made you feel desired in a way jude never fully did. but even as you laughed at his jokes and flirted back, a part of you remained painfully aware that this was all a distraction, a way to numb the hurt.

as the night wore on, he moved closer, his hand resting on your lower back. you allowed it, leaning into the touch, craving the comfort it provided. but just as he leaned in to whisper something in your ear, you caught sight of jude watching you from across the room, his expression unreadable.

your heart skipped a beat, a mix of triumph and regret flooding through you. you had his attention now, but at what cost? you broke away from jude's gaze, your attention fully on the man next to you.

however, before you knew it ─ you two were interrupted.

"y/n," jude's voice seemed steady but as you turned to face him, his expression nothing short of intense. his eyes bore into yours, a mixture of frustration and something else you couldn't quite place.

"jude," you replied, trying to sound casual but failing miserably. the man next to you shifted awkwardly, sensing the tension.

jude's jaw tightened as he glanced at the guy beside you, then back at you. "it's getting late, let's get outta here."

"that's funny, i was just about to ask her that." the man spoke, a hint of amusement in his voice before he cleared his throat, noting that his commentary was certainly not needed.

you blinked up at him, your lips curving into a sarcastic smile. "why don't you go ask the girl who's been keeping you busy all night?"

"that's what this is about?" jude let out a huff, his gaze boring into yours. "jealousy?"

"oh, you shouldn't be talking." you shot back, your voice tinged with bitterness. "you’ve been parading around with other women all night. don’t act like you’re innocent."

jude's eyes flashed with anger. "i wasn’t doing anything different than what we've been doing all along. you knew what this was from the start."

"yeah, i did," you snapped. "but it doesn't make it any easier to watch you with someone else."

the man next to you awkwardly excused himself, sensing the argument escalating. jude barely noticed as he took a step closer to you, his frustration palpable. "so, what? you decided to flirt with some random guy to get back at me? i don't like pettiness, you know that."

you crossed your arms, trying to hold your ground. "no, not everything is about you. maybe you just don't do it for me anymore, have you thought about that? you're not everyone's ideal man, jude."

jude stared back at you, trying to process what you just said. "oh really?" he let out a laugh but it was void of the usual amusement. were you really trying to come for his ego now?

"really," you responded, standing your ground.

"so i don't do it for you anymore, is that right?" jude glared back at you as he walked closer, his tall frame towering over you. "what's it, exactly? cause i know you're not coming for my bedroom skills."

"bingo," you answered with a smirk, grabbing the drink from the table as you took a sip. "you're exactly right."

he let out a soft chuckle as his gaze darkened. "really that guy could fuck you like i do? nobody could fuck you like i do."

you felt excitement in his words, knowing you were hitting him where it hurts. and you'd hoped it'll pay off at the end of the night. "you really think you're that good?"

"i know it,"

"cocky, jude. very cocky," you purred, stepping closer to him.

the heat between you was palpable, the air thick with unresolved tension. you could feel the intensity of his gaze as it roamed over your face, down your body, and back up to meet your eyes.

"confident," he corrected, his voice low and husky. "there's a difference."

you raised an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at your lips. "is that right?"

he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear as he spoke. "you know it is. and i'll can prove it to you."

a shiver ran down your spine at the closeness of his body, the warmth of his breath on your skin. you set your drink down and placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken under your touch.

"prove it, then," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your own heart.

jude's eyes darkened further, a predatory gleam in them as he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him. his other hand cupped your cheek, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. "i will, make you remember who fucks you the best."

you licked your lips, your breath hitching as his thumb traced your lower lip. "i'm counting on it,"

with a growl, he captured your lips in a searing kiss, his hand tightening around your waist as he deepened the kiss. you melted into him, all the anger and frustration from earlier dissipating in the heat of the moment. his lips were demanding, his touch possessive, as if he was claiming you all over again.

your hands found his shoulders, pulling him closer, needing more. jude responded by lifting you effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you toward the exit. the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you and the electricity sparking between your bodies.

as he pushed open the door to his car and placed you inside, you couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, this was the start of something new. something real. but you knew that was wishful thinking.

jude climbed in after you as he started the car and drove toward his place. the journey was a blur of heated kisses and whispered promises, both of you unable to keep your hands off each other.

and by the time you reached his apartment, the anticipation was nearly unbearable. he carried you inside, kicking the door shut behind him before setting you down and pinning you against the wall, his mouth trailing hot kisses down your neck.

"still think that guy could compare to me?" he murmured against your skin, his hands roaming over your body.

you moaned softly, arching into his touch. "no," you admitted breathlessly.

he smiled against your neck, his hands finding the hem of your shirt and tugging it over your head. "good. cause you’re mine, and i’m going to show you just how much you mean to me."

he carried you toward the bed, placing you down gently before hovering over you, his eyes burning with desire. you could feel the tension in the air, the electricity between you crackling with intensity.

jude's hands moved with a possessive urgency, trailing over your skin as if he needed to memorize every inch of you. your breath hitched as he leaned in, capturing your lips in another passionate kiss.

his hands were deft and skilled, knowing exactly how to make you gasp and shiver under his touch. clothes were discarded in a frenzy, the need to feel each other skin-to-skin overwhelming, leaving you naked. when he finally pushed into you, it felt like coming home, a perfect fit that made you both moan in unison.

"all mine," he whispered against your lips, his thrusts steady and deep. "don't ever forget that."

you clung to him, nails digging into his back as you matched his rhythm, losing yourself in the sensation. the way he moved, the way he touched you, it was like he was trying to prove a point with every thrust. and maybe he was. maybe this was his way of showing you just how much you meant to him, how much he needed you.

he pulled your hips upward, sitting up as he fucked into you like a starved man. his grip on your hips was firm, almost bruising, as he pulled you closer, thrusting deeper with each movement.

the intensity of his gaze bore into you, a mix of lust and possessiveness that made your heart race. your body arched off the bed, meeting him halfway, every sensation amplified by the sheer need radiating between you.

"god, you're so perfect," he groaned, his hands sliding up your sides to cup your breasts, thumbs brushing over your hardened nipples. the combination of pleasure and the raw intensity in his voice made you shiver, your body responding eagerly to his touch.

you were completely at his mercy, each thrust sending waves of pleasure through you, building higher and higher. his pace quickened, a desperate edge to his movements as if he couldn't get enough of you. you could feel the tension coiling in your core, your breaths coming in short gasps as you neared the edge.

"cum for me," he demanded, his voice a low growl that sent shivers down your spine.

the command was all it took. your body tensed, the pleasure cresting in a powerful wave that crashed over you, leaving you trembling and breathless. jude's eyes darkened with satisfaction as he watched you, his own control slipping as he followed you over the edge, his release spilling into you with a groan.

for a moment, the room was filled with nothing but the sound of your mingled breaths, the aftermath of your shared intensity leaving you both spent and sated. jude collapsed beside you, pulling you into his arms, his hold gentle now, almost tender.

"mine," he murmured again, his lips brushing your temple. "always."

you nestled against him, your fingers tracing idle patterns on his chest. "always," you echoed, the word a promise and a reminder of the connection that bound you together, for better or worse.

after that night, sex was how you fixed every little dispute you had. sure it wasn't healthy but sure as hell worked, he made sure you forgot all about why you were angry in the first place. yeah, he was cocky but it was for a reason.

 ⠀ ── ⠀

you still yearned for more.

you knew that was wishful thinking, jude was too focused on his career to even think about girls. you were the only one that he kept and you didn't know why, but you couldn't deny that it made you feel special, even if it wasn't in the way you truly wanted.

you were his escape, his relief from the pressures of his demanding life, and while you cherished the moments you had together, you couldn't shake the longing for something deeper, something more meaningful.

you often found yourself lying awake at night, replaying your conversations and encounters, searching for any sign that he might feel the same way. but jude was a closed book, his intentions unclear. it was both frustrating and intoxicating, leaving you constantly on edge, hoping for more but never quite sure if it would ever come.

one evening, after another intense round of making up, you lay in his arms, the room quiet except for the sound of your mingled breaths. jude's fingers traced lazy patterns on your skin, a touch of tenderness that made your heart ache.

"jude," you began hesitantly, unsure if you should voice the thoughts that had been plaguing you. "do you ever think about what this... what we could be if things were different?"

he stiffened slightly, his hand pausing its movements. "what do you mean?"

you took a deep breath, steeling yourself. "i mean, if you weren't so focused on football, do you think we could be more than just... this?"

jude was silent for a long moment, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet, almost distant. "i don't know. my career is everything to me. it's what i've worked for my whole life."

"i get that," you said softly, turning to look at him. "but it doesn't mean you can't have something more, someone who supports you and is there for you."

he sighed, his eyes meeting yours with a mixture of regret and something else you couldn't quite decipher. "if... if things were different, sure. but not right now, i don't have time for all that right now."

all that, he called it, as if your feelings and the possibility of a deeper relationship were just another burden on his already full plate. the sting of his words was sharp, but you tried to keep your voice steady.

"all that," you repeated, a bitter smile tugging at your lips.

jude's expression softened, his hand gently cupping your cheek. "y/n, it's not that i don't want it. it's just... i can't handle more than i already have. my career, the constant travel, the pressure — it's overwhelming."

you leaned into his touch, closing your eyes briefly before opening them again to meet his gaze. "i get it, it's okay."

having some of him is better than have none of him, you kept reminding yourself as he sighed in relief, closing his eyes as he drifted off to sleep. you lay there for a while, listening to the sound of his breathing and feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest against your back.

the reality of your situation weighed heavily on you, the knowledge that you would always come second to his career. but in those quiet moments, it was hard to focus on the negative. there was something so peaceful about being in his arms, so right, that made it difficult to let go.

days turned into weeks, and the cycle continued. you took what you could get, savoring the good moments and enduring the difficult ones. your friends started to notice the change in you, the way your mood would swing based on your interactions with jude. they would offer concerned looks and ask if everything was okay, but you always brushed them off with a smile and a nonchalant "i'm fine."

deep down, you knew they were right to worry. the emotional toll of your arrangement with jude was starting to wear on you, and you were constantly on edge, wondering when the next blow would come. you tried to distract yourself with work and hobbies, but nothing seemed to fill the void that jude left when he wasn't around.

 ⠀ ── ⠀

THREE MONTHS LATER

 ⠀ ── ⠀

it's crazy how much could change within 3 months. after a while, you stopped talking to jude and he understood why ─ you were hurting and you needed time. you found a boyfriend and of course jude wasn't too happy about that, but he couldn't really do anything about it.

you met your boyfriend at a friend’s birthday party. he was charming, attentive, and most importantly, he was ready for a relationship. things moved quickly, and soon enough, you found yourself in a stable, happy relationship. he treated you with the care you had longed for, and for the first time in a while, you felt like you were moving forward.

it didn't stop you from missing jude. the excitement you got from the way his presence made your heart race, was something you couldn’t easily forget. despite your boyfriend's kindness and the stability he offered, there was a lingering sense of something unfulfilled, a part of you that still yearned for the intensity you once had with jude.

one evening, as you and your boyfriend were having dinner at your favorite restaurant, your phone buzzed with a message. you glanced at it, your heart skipping a beat when you saw jude's name.

jude: miss you.

you quickly turned your phone face down, trying to focus on the conversation with ben, but the message stayed with you, echoing in your mind. you couldn’t deny that a part of you missed him too, missed the thrill and the connection you shared.

 ⠀ ── ⠀

the euros had came and your friends had bought tickets to go see england in the quarterfinals versus switzerland, they eventually convinced you to come. the thought of seeing jude on the pitch, representing his country, filled you with a mix of excitement and nerves.

on the day of the match, the stadium was buzzing with energy. you and your friends found your seats, the sea of england fans creating a vibrant atmosphere. as the players took to the field, your eyes were immediately drawn to jude. he looked focused, determined, and undeniably handsome in his england kit.

the match was intense, with both teams fighting hard for a place in the semifinals. you cheered along with the crowd, your emotions swinging with every close call and near miss. seeing jude play with such passion and skill reminded you why you had fallen for him in the first place.

when the final whistle blew, signaling england's victory, the celebration in the stadium was electric. you watched as jude and his teammates hugged, their faces alight with joy. you couldn't take your eyes off him, feeling a deep sense of connection despite the physical distance between you.

after the match, your friends had gotten invited to the celebratory party due to their connections to the english players. you knew you'd eventually be seeing jude and you just had to trust yourself to not fall in his trap once again.

well, you were wrong.

your legs tightened around jude's waist as he pushed the door of his hotel room open, his lips never leaving yours. he closed the door with his foot, pushing you against it when it closed.

you moaned against his lips as his hands roamed over your body, his touch igniting a fire within you. his kisses were demanding, filled with a hunger that mirrored your own. you could feel the intensity of his desire, the way he held you close as if afraid you might slip away.

"jude," you breathed, your fingers tangling in his hair. "we shouldn’t be doing this."

"i know," he murmured against your skin, his lips trailing down your neck. "can’t help it. i need you, y/n. how can i celebrate without you?"

his words sent a shiver down your spine, and any resolve you had left melted away. you had tried to move on, to build a new life with your boyfriend, but being in jude's arms again felt like coming home.

"just this once," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

he pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours. "just this once," he agreed, though you both knew it was a lie.

with a growl, he captured your lips again, his hands gripping your hips as he carried you to the bed. he laid you down gently, his body pressing against yours as he deepened the kiss. you could feel the heat between you growing, the familiar ache of desire spreading through you.

"god, i’ve missed this," he groaned, his hands sliding under your shirt. "missed you."

"me too," you admitted, your breath hitching as his fingers brushed against your skin.

clothes were quickly discarded until you were in left in your bra and underwear, the urgency between you leaving little room for hesitation. jude's touch was both familiar and electrifying, every caress reminding you of the connection you had tried so hard to forget. he moved with a confidence that made your heart race, his hands and lips worshipping your body as if making up for lost time.

"mine," he murmured against your ear, his voice rough with emotion. "no one else can make you feel like this."

"yes," you gasped, arching into his touch. "i’m yours, jude. always."

his eyes darkened with possessiveness, a primal satisfaction evident in his gaze. "i’ll never let you go again," he promised, his lips crashing into yours with renewed fervor.

his hands found your hips as he pushed you into the mattress, you let out another moan at his roughness. something your boyfriend never managed to do, you were never satisfied with the sexual part of your relationship.

he began rubbing his finger against your clothed core, his ego skyrocketing at the wetness that was already soaking through your panties. "look at you," he murmured, his voice dripping with pride. "so wet for me."

you whimpered in response, your hips bucking against his hand. "jude, please," you begged, the need in your voice unmistakable.

"please what?" he teased, his fingers slipping under the fabric to stroke you directly. "tell me what you want, y/n."

"i want you," you gasped, your body trembling with anticipation. "i need you inside me, jude. now."

"oh yeah?" his voice was hoarse as he gazed down at you, taking in your form. he stopped his movements as he licked his lips, "does he fuck you like i do? tell me."

jude was teasing and you hated it. you also loved it, loved the way he made you work for it.

"no," you admitted breathlessly, your hips moving in a desperate attempt to find some friction. "no one fucks me like you do, jude. only you."

a satisfied smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. "that's what i thought," he murmured, his fingers resuming their torturous movements. "you're mine, y/n. always have been, always will be."

"please," you begged, your voice breaking with need. "i need you, jude. please."

"aw, poor baby. bet you haven't cum in a while, right? he looks like he doesn't know how to fuck, right?" jude mocked as he leaned in closer to press a soft kiss to your forehead. "he's a damn loser. let me show you how a real man fucks, yeah?"

"please," you repeated as you nodded, too lost in the pleasure to think clearly.

he chuckled softly, clearly relishing the power he held over you. "since you asked so nicely," he said, positioning himself at your entrance. with a single, powerful thrust, he filled you completely, drawing a loud moan from your lips.

the sensation was overwhelming, the pleasure so intense that it bordered on pain. jude moved with a possessiveness that left you breathless, each thrust driving you closer to the edge.

his hands found your hips as he began fucking into you, your body arching to meet his every thrust. each movement was deliberate and intense, a reminder of the connection you shared and the passion that had never truly faded.

"god, you feel so good," he groaned, his grip tightening as he quickened his pace. "so tight, fuck. like you were made for me."

"yes," you gasped, your nails digging into his shoulders as you clung to him. "only you, jude. no one else."

the words seemed to drive him wild, his thrusts becoming even more frantic as he pushed you both closer to the edge. the room was filled with the sounds of your bodies, each moan and gasp a testament to the intensity of the moment.

"can't get enough of you," he muttered, his voice rough with emotion. "i need you, y/n. always."

"always," you echoed, your own voice trembling with the force of your feelings. "i'm all yours, jude."

the coil of pleasure inside you tightened with each thrust, building to a crescendo that left you breathless and desperate for release. jude's movements became almost frenzied, his own need evident as he chased his climax.

"cum for me," he commanded, his voice a low growl. "wanna feel you come around me."

the words sent you over the edge, your body convulsing with the intensity of your orgasm. you cried out his name, the pleasure washing over you in waves that left you trembling and gasping for breath.

jude followed moments later, his own release hitting him with the force of a tidal wave. he buried himself deep inside you, his body shuddering as he spilled into you, as if he was reclaiming all over again. for a long moment, you both lay there, tangled together and utterly spent.

finally, he shifted, rolling onto his side and pulling you into his arms. you nestled against him, savoring the warmth and closeness. his fingers traced lazy patterns on your back, a tender gesture that made your heart ache with longing.

"break up with him," he spoke, his voice was hoarse.

"jude..." you moved your head so you could face him, a frown curving your lips. "it's not that easy,"

"you just cheated on him and all it took were a couple drinks." he replied nonchalantly, his voice tinged with annoyance. "obviously he doesn't fuck you well, cause you felt this the moment i touched you."

"it's not just about that," you protested, your voice a mixture of guilt and frustration. "he's a good guy. he treats me well, and i do care about him."

"but you don't love him," jude shot back, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. "not the way you love me."

the truth in his words stung, and you knew he was right. but breaking up with your boyfriend wasn't just about ending a relationship; it meant facing the reality of your feelings for jude and the complicated situation you found yourselves in.

"i don't want to hurt him," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

"but you can't keep pretending." he spoke, his gaze never leaving yours. "look, i know... i was selfish."

was, as in past tense. you noted.

"i wasn't thinking about what you wanted and... i knew i wasn't fulfilling your emotional needs. i didn't know what i had til you left," jude continued, his voice sincere. "god, nobody does it like you. i've looked but nobody feels like you and it's deeper than just sex it's..."

he paused, feeling vulnerable as he sighed. where was he even going with this?

"it's everything," jude finally said, his voice softening. "it's the way you make me feel, the way you understand me without me having to say a word. it's the way you laugh, the way you support me, the way you just... get me."

you felt your heart swell at his words, the sincerity in his eyes making you believe every word. it was everything you had wanted to hear, but the reality of your situation made it hard to fully embrace it.

"jude, i need you to understand that this isn't just about you and me," you said gently, trying to convey the complexity of your feelings. "i do care about ben, and breaking up with him is going to hurt him. i can't just ignore that."

"i know," he replied, his hand cupping your cheek. "and i'm not asking you to ignore it. i'm asking you to be honest with yourself and with him. you deserve to be happy, and so does he. even if it means going through some pain first."

you sighed, knowing he was right. it was a difficult decision, but staying in a relationship where your heart wasn't fully invested was unfair to both you and ben.

"okay," you said softly, leaning into his touch. "i'll talk to him. but jude, i need you to promise me something."

"anything," he replied, his eyes full of determination.

"i need you to be all in," you said, your voice steady despite the emotion in your chest. "if we're going to do this, i need to know that you're committed, that this isn't just about the thrill or the sex. i need to know that you're ready for something real."

jude's eyes softened, and he nodded, his hand gently squeezing yours. "i promise, y/n. i'm all in. i want this to work, more than anything. and i'll do whatever it takes to make sure you know that."

with those words, a sense of resolve settled over you. it wouldn't be easy, and there would be challenges ahead, but for the first time, you felt like you were moving in the right direction.

as you lay back in his arms, feeling the warmth and security of his embrace, you knew that this was the beginning of a new chapter. one where you were finally choosing to follow your heart, no matter where it led.

if you enjoyed, any interaction is greatly appreciated!

with love, rylin 𝜗𝜚

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Taking care of Coryo afte the bombing. He's being stubborn and doesn't want to rest and maybe says something hurtful to reader?

I started over three times...I hope you like it

Warnings: mention on bombing and deaths

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

You were sitting by his side when Coriolanus’ eyes slowly opened, stirring from his deep sleep. He shifted in the bed and made a sound of discomfort, his shoulder throbbing. 

‘’Easy, you’re gonna hurt yourself,’’ you said, helping him off his stomach and into a more comfortable position. 

The scene had been horrifying to watch on the screen of the academy. No one knew exactly what had happened as the area wasn’t a very secured place. The screen had turned black after catching some of the explosions, leaving everyone in the auditorium worried for their fellow classmates — and tributes.

You brushed a hand through his hair, looking down at him. ‘’How are you feeling?’’ 

Coryo’s eyes met your concerned gaze. ‘’Lucy Gray, is she..?’’ he asked, a fog enveloping his mind. 

‘’She is okay,’’ you reassured him. ‘’They took all the remaining tributes back at the Capitol zoo.’’ 

‘’I’m guessing they’re still going with the games.’’ 

You nodded. ‘’Do you remember what happened in the arena?’’ 

Coriolanus winced, trying to piece together the fragments of his memory. ‘’It’s all a blur,’’ he admitted, his brow furrowing. ‘’Explosions, fire and…people were running and more bombs going off. Lucy Gray and I got knocked down when the first bomb exploded. I tried to get back up, but a piece of the arena’s structure fell on me. She came back for me.’’

You gave a sympathetic smile, continuing to run your fingers through his disheveled hair. You had been so worried when Tigris told you a piece of the structure had fallen on her cousin during the bombing. ‘’They were old bombs some rebels must have placed between the end of the last games and now. The area is not well secure, so they could have gotten in at night.’’

Tigris returned shortly with Sejanus behind her. He was bringing information on the tributes and mentors' conditions. Coriolanus nodded as his friend spoke, absorbing the information while you held his hand, stroking the back with your thumb. Four tributes and two mentors had died. 

‘’Wherever Marcus is right now, he has more chances at survival than in the arena,’’ Sejanus said, still cursing his father for buying his old friend as tribute. It was sick. 

Coriolanus sighed, the weight of the games and the Plinth prize still on his shoulders.  

‘’You should rest,’’ you said to Coryo after Sejanus left. 

‘’I don’t have time to rest. The games are tomorrow. I need to think of a strategy so I can make my tribute win—’’ He tried to sit up, his face twisting with pain. ‘’Fuck.’’ 

‘’You don’t care about the girl! I know you’re doing this for the Plinth prize, but no amount of money is worth risking your health for. You need to rest, Coryo.’’ 

A bitter retort escaped his lips. ‘’Says the one who’s family is bathing in money.’’ He stood, seeking support from the wall as his head began to spin from the concussion. ‘’If I don’t win this money, everyone will know about the Snow family’s downfall. There was an eviction notice on our door last week. Tigris tried to hide it from me, but I saw it. We can barely afford food, how are we gonna pay rent? I need to go to university. I have to support my family. Without the Plinth prize, none of this can happen.’’ 

His state of panic made his head hurt from the heavy thinking. Coriolanus groaned, the pain intensifying, and released the wall to cradle his head in his hands, causing him to lose balance.  Instinctively, you moved swiftly, grabbing him before he could fall, and guided him back on the bed. 

‘’I may not know what it’s like to struggle financially, but don't hold it against me for being born into my family,’’ you said, not allowing him to make you feel bad for your social class. He couldn’t take his frustrations out on you. ‘’I don’t prance around my family’s money like our classmates do, or look down on the less fortunate. If you want to secure this prize, you need to lie back and rest. You can’t make your tribute win if you can’t even stand on your feet.’’ 

One thing you had learned these past years was that Coriolanus was the most stubborn person you knew. His determination could never be underestimated, a trait that often bordered on obstinacy. It was a crucial part of what made him who he was. Fortunately, you were one of the only people who knew how to reason with him and talk him down when he was being unreasonable. It wasn't always an easy feat, considering his unyielding nature, but you had honed the skill of navigating through his stubbornness.

He let out a sigh of defeat, knowing you were right. ‘’What am I gonna do?’’ Fear and desperation laced his voice, pulling at your heartstrings. 

You sat beside him and gently placed your hands on his face. ‘’We’ll figure something out,’’ you promised, letting him know he wasn’t alone. ‘’For now, you’re gonna lie back in bed while I find you something to eat. I can hear your stomach screaming.’’

Coryo managed a faint smile, appreciating your concern. ‘’It’s not that loud...’’ 

You gave him a look as his stomach betrayed him with a loud noise. ‘’I’ll be right back.’’

—

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[al1fers-haven]

I got a request that I think is pure evil

Alastor x Fem!Reader | Angst

Alastor has spent all his time in hell focused on himself and his power, but in the back of his mind, he always was on the lookout for his wife that he had when he was alive.

He tells himself that he hasn't found he because she's in heaven with his momma until she shows up at the hotel, but she has no memory of him (but it is her, Alastor can tell)

So he tries subtly reminding her, but she doesn't quite understand what he's doing.

If she falls in love again or if she does manage to remember is up to you ❤️

I RAISE YOU ON THIS HEADCANNON AND LABEL THE READER AS A FALLEN ANGEL!

"I KNOW YOU"

Alastor x wife!Reader

Prompt: For as long as Alastor has been in hell he didn't look for you. He assumed that you had gone to the pearly gates of heaven with his mother with the way you acted when you were married in your lives. He had tried to forget about it, no longer seeking you but still needing you one way or another. What will he do when you show up at the hotel with no memory of you two ever being married?

After everything Alastor had done in his life, he was sure he deserved hell. The moment he got there he knew that, and there was no way he wanted to redeem himself. In his own eyes, he didn't particularly do anything wrong, he got rid of of those pesky and awful men who thought with the wrong head or were horrible people. And there was nothing wrong with that.

The only regret he had was leaving you and his mother up there all alone to figure out his true hobbies, and while he was hoping he could see you down here in hell. He knew damn well that a sweetheart like you was never going to be in the place for the damned. As his time went on in the pits of hell, the less hope he had for seeing you again. There was no sign of you and thank the gods for that. He couldn't bear to see you in a place like this.

He let out a small hum, blinking a couple times as he was brought back to his current state, looking down at the vegetables he was cutting. His hands shook slightly as he put down the knife and leaned against the counter. That harsh feeling swirled in his chest once again at the thought of you, despite him knowing this was for the absolute best. He couldn't help but grieve your touch. Wanting to hold you one more time in his lifetime.

Maybe that was the purpose of his hell. Having to live without you? "Hello! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!" Alastor tilted his head, walking out of the kitchen and retying the back of his apron. His eyes squinted a little bit as Charlie brought you into the lobby, a small hurt smile brought to her face as she explained why she was there. "I- I fell...I know that there's a chance you won't even accept me but I had nowhere else to do!" A sob wracked your frame, your hands covering your face as the pale-skinned woman patted your back. "I heard you were Lucifer's daughter- so I thought maybe you guys would help me...?" Charlie nodded, a loud sigh leaving her as she looked around for someone to look after you for a bit while she grabbed Vaggie. "Alastor! Would you mind looking after her for a moment while I go find my dad and Vaggie?" He nodded, quickly being dragged over to you. His eyes continued to widen as he got closer and closer. "Uhm...Hello!" You waved to the deer man and smiled. His body ridged as he looked at you.

You looked almost the same as you did the day he died. "Y/n..?" You blinked a couple of times, folding your hands in front of you, and looked up at him. "I'm sorry, do I know you...?"

He never thought four words could hurt that much, his smile tightening as Charlie left the two of you there. A huff left his lips. "Oh...Uhm. Do you remember me?" You shook your head, brows furrowing in confusion as you took a closer look at him. "No...I'm afraid not. After I died I don't have much recollection of my life...I'm sorry." His shadow formed behind him, a small frown on it's face before it zoomed away to somewhere else. "Oh, it's uhm- fine. My name is Alastor dear! It's a pleasure to see you again!"

Alastors ears pinned to the back of his head as you shook his hand. His body wanted to lean into the warmth you emitted.

~!~

You were sitting down in the lobby, eyes scanning the book in your hands. Reading more about hell and what it was like before going out into the world.

Alastor stared from the bar, ears pinned against his head in a mopey way. "C'mon dude, you're practically undressing her with her eyes," Husk growls a little bit, staring at Alastor with a scowl. "Oh- Forgive me she just...She doesn't remember me." Husk raised a brow. "Remember you? Did you know her?" Alastor nodded, a huff leaving his figure as he took a sip of his Rye. "She was my wife- She was in heaven after I died she just...doesn't remember me." Husk nodded. Huffing and actually feeling a bit bad for the awful man in front of him. "Maybe remind her? Recreate scenarios you two experiences..it works in the movies and books." Alastor's ears perked up as he listened, looking around for any sign of a radio. "That's actually quite smart for you Husker." The cat-man growls a little bit. The radio on the table in front of you started to play the song, the upbeat jazz in the background bringing you small memories of when you'd dance with your friends at the old speakeasies, spending most of your time dancing and singing on stage with the rest of the ladies you worked with. "Hello dear!" Alastor appeared in front of you, a smile on his face like always, a small giggle leaving you at the sight of his dressed-down state. Just wearing a red and black turtleneck and some dress pants. "Care for a dance? My dear?" You nodded, standing up and patting down your dress before he quickly took your hand and spun you around. A loud genuine laugh left you as you danced with the man.

Laughter filled the room, the music in the background blaring as the saxophone filled it. "Oh! Oh my!" You placed a hand against his chest and you two danced. His tail moving behind him as he listened to you enjoy yourself. "Aren't you a smooth dancer!" he laughed a little bit himself, twirling you once again. Charlie watched from afar, a small smile on her face as she stopped angel from talking about the sight. "My dear it's not rocket science to dance, just to learn it!" You couldn't help but hum, the music coming to an end as you tried to keep dancing. Your hands rested on your head, the small headache you had from the dancing getting worse and worse. "Are you alright my dear?" You reached out for youas you sat down, eyes closed due to the pain. "My love?" "It's nothing...just a bit of a headache, don't fret too much over it." You smiled up at him, trying to keep a cool head. "I think I'm going to go back to reading, if you don't mind." He nodded with a sigh. Trying not to overthink it.

~!~ "Oh Alastor! you shouldn't of!" Alastor stood in your doorway with a nice plate of beignets. His ears pinning to the back of his head as you took the plate from his hands and swiftly invited him in to share them. "Oh how did you know! I haven't had any since I was alive, oh!" You placed them down on the little table you had, clapping as you sat down. "oh?" Alastor sat down across from you, his ear twitching a little bit. "Who was the last person who made them for you, love?" You thought for a moment, just remembering how they were placed in front of you. "I believe....my husband?" You looked down at your dress, trying to remember. "I didn't...know I had a husband.." He blinked a couple times, his heart speeding up more and more. "Well- don't think too hard about it little lady! Just eat up!" You nodded carefully and took a bite. Absolutely stunned at how delishes the sweets were. ~!~ " would you mind grabbing me a tea dear?"

Alastor nodded, the tea appearing on the table in front of you. "oh! Thank you!" "Anything for my dear!"

"Why, *****. Would you mind getting me the cinnamon? " You turned around, looking at the man behind you with a bright smile. His apron red with the words 'kiss the chef on it'. "Anything for you my dear!" He kissed your cheek and you giggled.

"You...did i know you when i was alive, alastor?" He stood still, charlie looked over and raised a brow. "What?" You blinked a couple times.

"I'm so sorry, i shouldn't ask. Uhm- you just remind me of someone...but I can't remember who that someone is.." You shook your head. Laughing a bit as you grabbed the tea and walked away.

Alastor stood in his place, a small twitch in his smile as his ears pushed against his head. A small hum leaving angels mouth as alastor grabbed his coat where his heart should be. ~!~

You looked around everywhere, trying to find the book you were reading and asking almost everyone if they had seen in. It was a little cookbook about new orleans' finest dishes. "Alastor- Dear, have you seen my cookbook?" You walked into the kitchen and hummed, looking up towards the red demon. He was standing over the stove. Some jazz playing from his staff in the corner of the room next to the fridge. He looked back at you and laughed a bit. "Oh! Sorry dear! I found it by the stove and decided to try out a new recipe of deer meat I had found! Do forgive me." You grabbed your head, letting out a small groan and stepping back. Looking at him still.

"Are you alright?" "Honey! Have you seen my gardening apron?!" You walked into the kitchen, a small frown on your face as you looked around for that as well before your husband turned around. A guilty look on his face. "I may or may have not mistaken it for my hunting apron! Please forgive me..." You laughed a bit, huffing and walking up to him with a loving smile. His hands covered in blood from the deer meat he had been making. "I forgive you of course...but my dear red suits you well." You untied the back of the apron and retired it for him.

"Mm, how are you feeling love? Not throwing up anymore?" You shook your head no. Leaning your head against your husbands shoulder as you watched him work away on dinner. "I think it's the Jambalayah love, maybe it is too spicey for me this time..."

"Alastor...do- do you happen to make jambalayah?" He nodded happily, clapping his hands together. "Yes! My mothers recipe of course, it's truly delicious!" You walked up to him and huffed. Standing in front of him with tears in her eyes. "And...you lived in a nice cottage...right? Next to lake....on the edge of town." His smiled dropped a little bit. His ears flattening against his head. "Did you shoot any dear tonight love?" Alastor walked through the door and hung up his jacket, a bright smile on his face as he nodded. "A big one! it's in the back of the truck love." You reached up and ruffled his hair. A laugh leaving his seemingly always smiley face. "Oh my dear you look so tired...why don't I run a shower for you?" Alastor hummed and wrapped an arm around your waist. "Only If you join meee..." You laughed and gently hit his chest. Shaking your head no as he pouted and followed you up.

"Just far enough from the town and just close enough to the stores..." He looked down at her with a soft look. "And just a drive away from the forest..." "Oh Alastor!" You hugged him, tears in your eyes as you held onto him for dear life. "Oh how I missed you my love!" Alastor hugged you back, nearly suffocating you with how tight it was. Laughter filling up the room as he picked you up and spun you around. "Oh my!" "Me and your mother were so worried after you had died- i moved in with her to take care of her but sooner or later i had died from-" You stopped that sentence. Sniffling a little bit and looking up at him. "well that doesn't matter..." You hugged him tightly again.

[anundyingfidelity]

FOR ALL TIME, ALWAYS – Loki x female reader

Summary: Loki escapes the TVA for a moment. Desperate and brokenhearted, he looks for you, his wife, in the Sacred Timeline. Even if you saw him die ten years ago.

Word count: 3.9k.

Warnings: LOTS of angst, some fluff, spoilers of Loki series in general. Language. Maybe I'm not getting how the branches work oops. This is right after the end of 2x02 and before 2x03. My English is also a warning, just in case.

Notes: while looking on the tags I checked a post of someone asking for a TVA Loki fic where he finds the reader but her Loki died in IW (not canon in my head btw). So I wrote it because is such a great idea, but I can't find the original post... ;-; anyway hope you like this!

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

GEN MASTERLIST!

It's harder to stay...

Wasn't this situation hard enough? Sylvie was right. She had a point. But Loki wanted to do the right thing. Maybe he would find a chance... Again, right? Probably he would make the proper decisions this time.

The TVA was already fucked up, and with it, the thousands of timelines and lives in danger within them. Sometimes, it looked like it didn't matter. In the end, they were trying to fix something that was already broken.

Loki let out a deep breath he didn't realise was holding and walked to talk directly to his partner, Mobius.

"I need a favor," Loki mumbled, so the grey-haired man would be the only person to hear his voice.

Mobius met his eyes. He knew that gaze, it meant he was up to something. "What kind of favor?"

The god motioned Mobius to step away from the newly acknowledged variants and far away from what B-15 was witnessing. The branches were pruned from the whole existence; thousands and millions of lifes lost to the void in just the blink of an eye. Loki knew he had to do something before it got worst. Something for himself.

"I need to go the Sacred Timeline," Loki announced.

"Are you nuts?" Mobius scolded, in the same low voice tone Loki had used.

"Is just- listen, it's something I have to do. I really need to go back there. Need to see someone, make sure everything is okay," Loki insisted.

During all the times Loki showed he was desperate, Mobius was sure this was the peak of all of them. He wasn't explaning more than necessary, he looked serious, and his voice was crisp. Loki knew what he wanted at that moment. Mobius sighed, his hands finding the pockets of his pants, unsure of Loki's request.

"So it's personal..."

"A little, yeah," Loki nodded.

"Promise it'll be quick," Mobius said, taking off the TemPad from his pocket and his hand stopped in the air before the object could lay in the god's grip. "Don't make me regret this."

"I won't."

2029, Sacred Timeline

When Loki arrived to his destination, the nerves got the best from him. New York looked no different from the last time he was there. Shifting his usual clothes he wore at the TVA, he chose a plain suit to go undercover, or at least decided he would try to, considering he was a criminal once in Midgard.

But as he walked through the halls of the familiar building he met decades ago, he didn't really care. He longed for something else. Better say, someone. And it was you.

You, who met him in the past right after Thor's banishment, and even helped him to find the Teseract, only to give up to SHIELD and those idiots that people called 'The Avengers'. Of course his heart hurted for a long time, but Loki tried to deny the feelings blooming inside and instead, he just decided to walk away from you, even if that meant hurting you. It was the best.

At least that was what he believed until he checked further his file; the file that Mobius had prepared for him. His life. Even after what he did to your people and planet, you still held no grudges. And Thor was good enough to seek for yours and the sorcerer's, Stephen Strange, help once Hela appeared in their lives.

Loki would never forget the loving look in your beautiful eyes when you saw him again, after years of parting ways. He really paid attention to you while watching his file, and he found there was only love, protection, and care in you. All for him. Someone who didn't deserve it, he thought.

He felt grateful at least he had the pleasure to enjoy happiness for a moment. Even if that meant Asgard was destroyed. Loki already lost his mother, his father, and he almost lost his brother. He couldn't stand losing you either. The simple idea of living without you - even if he didn't know you further than your Loki did - was unbearable pain.

So while in the ship on the way to Midgard with the asgardians and survivors of the Ragnarok, you held a cozy, small wedding when he asked you to marry him. This was one of the parts Loki would replay again and again from his file, with disbelief that he was actually happy and joyful, enjoying a good time with you, his brother, and all the asgardians who survived. Loki felt full of hope after your wedding, thinking fate had better things to come with you as an oficial part of his life.

Unfortunately, it didn't last long, thanks to the Mad Titan. As his steps got near your door, the memory of his brother and your figure mourning on his lifeless body appeared on his mind. It was an image he couldn't erase that easily. Probably, he would never forget that was his original destiny all the way. That was meant to be. And for now, he could not change it.

Loki stopped outside your apartment. He took a deep breath and raised his shaking hand to reach the doorbell. He waited for a moment, not knowing if seconds or minutes went by, it felt eternal. Until the door opened and he saw you.

The bright smile you had on your lips faded away. Your eyes flooded with tears, your forehead was furrowed, and still, Loki thought you were the most beautiful creature in all the Nine Realms.

"Hi..." Loki barely whispered, his eyes were glossy and a single tear also ran down his pale cheek.

You were clearly in shock. You wanted to get closer and finally touch him, to feel him physically. But even if you wanted to move to take his hand to confirm it wasn't a trick of your ruined mind, your body was stiff and your feet were glued to the ground.

"Is this an illusion?" you trembled.

All Loki could do was shaking his head, before muttering. "No..."

"Loki, I saw you die..."

Tears ran down your face, denying to yourself that this was real. That this was really happening to you. And your mind started to wonder all the possible scenarios and reasons on why him, the god of mischief, the only person you loved dearly with all your mind, body and soul, was standing right in front of your door even if he was gone for you... Long gone now. And that couldn't be undone.

"I know you did, my love."

You tried to smile, even a little bit, as he pronounced those words so dearly. Loki came closer to your figure, carefully placing a trembling hand on your cheek, feeling the tears flowing on your skin. You leaned into his touch, with a simpering smile. Such was the effect you had on him, that a silly smile he also had on his lips.

And you realized Loki was so real... His touch, his heat, his smile, his scent, the way he would hold you... Everything about him was exactly as you remembered. You felt his lips brushing softly against yours, gentle and hesitant, and instantly, you melted into a slow kiss, sure knowing that Loki would taste the salt of your tears running down your face. Leaning in closer as the space between would allow you, you savoured each second your breaths allowed, longing to remain right there for eternity. For all time. Always.

"But now I am here... and I can explain," he whispered once you separated your lips from his in the sweetest way.

You let out a soft chuckle. "Mind to enlighten me, oh, god of mischief?"

Finally you guided him inside your apartment. That old apartment Loki saw his other self visiting a couple of times before you were something. It still had your vibe around it and he loved it. He felt like he was at home after a very long time. Once you closed the door, his arms wrapped around your figure, and you let yourself cry, pressing against his chest and with a tight grip of your hands on his coat.

"You don't have any idea of how much I have missed you all these years," you sobbed and his heart shrank on his chest. "I kept wishing every night and every day to be me instead of you."

"My love," he said softly, separating a little and cupping your cheeks with his warm hands. His eyes were red now because of the tears he was holding back again. "Don't say that... It was supposed to happen."

"What?" you mumbled.

Your hands found his wrists and you pulled his palms away from your cheeks. However you kept the contact with him, you just needed to touch him, to feel he was in the flesh. He was alive right now, wasn't he?

"Look, I am not your Loki. I know what you did, what the Avengers did after Thanos-" his voice broke just a bit but he continued. "I know everything. I just couldn't resist knowing there was someone for me, out there in the Nine Realms, capable to love me for who I am," Loki explained as he watched your face. Was it disappointment? Confusion? He didn't know, but he had to tell you the truth.

Your voice came out as a barely audible whisper. "So... you are saying... you're another Loki? Another him?"

He nodded softly. "I am." Loki thought for a moment on how to explain everything, but he just went for what his heart felt it was right. "It's a little complicated. I did something that wasn't supposed to be, and perhaps will sound like I'm insane, but thanks to that I am kind of trapped in time. With an organization that is not what everyone thought it was, hence a multiverse was created. Sponsored by another me, by the way. You are in what is called the Sacred Timeline, where things flow as how they were supposed to since forever. And I just needed to see you after I found out you were the love of my life."

You took a moment to understand everything he said, wishing that his fate would have been different from what originally happened. Loki gave his best, even in the last worst moments, he was changing for good. For you. For Thor... It wasn't fair.

"Your death was supposed to be then?"

"Yes, it was."

"Oh, Loki," you cried. "You know what, I don't care what's happened. I'm just- I feel happy seeing you here... Please tell me everything you've been through. I want to hear your voice again, to know you're with me right now, to feel you near... I'm not crazy, am I?" you chuckled between tears and Loki curved his lips in a smile, wiping your tears from your face with his thumbs.

Loki granted your wish and explained everything, answering every question you had about the lies of the TVA; the files he found out were his whole life; about Sylvie, Mobius and his variants. He spilled all you wanted to hear, asking like a child, until you understood what was happening. You noticed he truly had changed, just like your Loki did when he reunited with Thor before the Ragnarok took over Asgard. It was a bittersweet feeling however, thinking how much they they seemed to each other. They were the same person after all, but this Loki didn't had the chance to continue his path as it was supposed to.

Taking his hand into yours, you leaned towards him and laid down your head on his shoulder while you both sat comfortable in the couch, just enjoying each others company. Your eyes were dry at this point after crying for what it felt were hours, but his voice helped to soothe you enough.

"I'm glad knowing you have someone like Mobius by your side," you said after a quiet moment. "He sounds like a very good friend," you looked at him, waiting for an answer. "Because that's what he is to you, right?"

"He is a great friend, I'm not alone if that is what is troubling you," Loki affirmed.

You let out a sigh. "That is totally a relief to me."

Loki chuckled softly, leaning to leave a kiss on your hair. "Now you've heard everything about me, would I hear something from you?"

"I'm just a mortal, Loki," you smiled. "Doing the normal shit, not the superhero stuff anymore. I am hating my pretty much normal office job every day; I feed the birds when I go outside at the park, also thinking about adopting a cat or a dog... Maybe a dog."

"Or you could do both."

"Yeah, I might. But my place isn't that big for pets. Sometimes I feel like I'm too alone, very much alone... I would love to have a big farm, or a cabin in the mountains with lots of plants, pets and animals to take care of." The idea did sound good for Loki. Hopefuly you could find peace that way. "Do you remember Pepper?" you said, straighting up on the couch to look at him. He nodded. "Well, after Tony died I still visit her and their daughter, Morgan. She is ten years old, could you believe it?" Loki noticed the sorrow and pain you still carried after all those years of losing your friends, your people... "And I've been missing you and mourning you for ten years as well."

"It's not your fault."

"I know, Loki."

"Do whatever is the best for you, my dear... I would have loved to be here with you now, as the Loki from the Sacred Timeline."

You smiled, but it was a sad smile. "Well, either way, you're here now. It's all that matters to me."

Once again, you shared a loving kiss and took his hand to walk to the kitchen, asking him to take a seat in your breakfast bar, glad he decided to search for you in one of your free days. Otherwise, you would have surely missed his visit. But he was looking for you. Probably Loki would have found you anywhere at this point.

You talked some more while you had some tea and ate some cookies that you saved for special days on the shelfs. The afternoon was pleasant, and this was your turn to speak. Loki, coat long gone, was catching up with you and he asked every single thing about your life now. He smiled more than ever, laughed more than you have ever seen, and it was certainly something you could get used to from now on. Knowing you never continued your life with another person made his heart ache though. However, Loki was no one to blame. He would have done the same thing. No other was like you, no one would have replaced you.

"It's my decision," you finally said, reading his face like an open book. "I have loved you, I love you now and I will love you forever."

He took your hand, lacing your fingers with his. "I know..."

"The day we married you gave me a ring. I always have it with me, today I'm not working, but I use this necklace with your ring," you searched for the necklace hiding inside your shirt and taking it off, you showed him the precious jewel hanging on a fine golden chain. The ring he recognized once was from his mother. "I want you to have it."

"No,I can't-"

"But this is what I want. I know I would have to forget, because you will make me forget about this. About you, coming here, risking everything just to see me. So please, take it."

Loki knew you had made a decision, but then if he left, taking your memories away about this day, what was left for you? He had nothing, and it was okay. He would still know he came to the Sacred Timeline; that he kissed you, that you shared a moment together, that you still loved him. But you will have none of that. And you, as human as you were, would die without the memories and without the ring. You would have nothing and he was sure couldn't bear it.

"Perhaps I can have something else to remember you, I want you to keep this ring as a promise," he closed your hand around the necklace. "My promise that I still love you and I will do it. Forever."

And you sighed, taking the necklace back with a smile. Always so stubborn. "Give me a moment."

Loki saw you leave the kitchen for some minutes. While he was alone, he noticed the sunset through the windows, as it was almost ending to welcome the dark sky around the city. He knew he had to go soon. As much as he didn't want to and the simple thought of runing away was starting to hurt him deep inside.

When you arrived, you stood by his seat on the breakfast bar, putting a small photograph, perfect for a passport, on the surface. It was all in black and white, and you looked what you thought it was nice. Loki took it between his hands, lovingly and with a proud smile on his face.

"I used that when I was taking my Master's degree. Looks pretty decent," you joked.

Loki laughed, tears right at the corner of his eyes. "It's more than that. It's perfect."

His smile faded, knowing this meant he had to leave you again. Loki wasn't supposed to have a happy ending, was he? How he wished to stay there by your side.

You kissed his cheek as a sort of goodbye and comfort at the same time, noticing the sudden change on his face and whispered softly. "So you don't search for me on those files."

"Thank you, love."

Loki got on his feet to put his coat on, like some sort of mental preparation before leaving your apartment and the Sacred Timeline. He saved your photograph on his pocket securely along with Mobius' TemPad, pretending to be strong and swallowing all the pain he was feeling right at that moment. You took his hand, lacing your fingers together one last time and walked until you stood there, in the middle of your living room. He looked at you with loving eyes, trying to save your face and your figure before returning to where he was supposed to be now. And it seemed like time had stopped, as everything Loki could see and feel was you and only you.

"I guess is time now," you began, interrupting his mind.

"I guess it is," Loki nodded, expecting an answer from you. Anything. But it never came. You were also trying to save the moment as much as you could.

So he cupped your cheeks, feeling for the last time your warm, soft skin against his palms. He didn't want to talk, because if he would have said something, it meant you were really saying goodbye forever. What Loki didn't know is that you felt the same thing.

Was there something good to say to your lover, whose destiny was just to bring the best from other people with his cruelty and chaos? To the man who had learn to make things better and, in the end, died trying to protect his people and his wife? Was there anything out there that would bring the god of mischief the happiness and love you always knew he deserved? With these branches and multiverse thing, you hoped deep in your heart there was a universe where he found what he longed for so long. This was just one of many of them. Probably he was happy and living in peace in some others.

"I love you, Loki," you mumbled. He caressed your skin with his thumbs and wiped the small tears that were running on your cheeks.

"I love you too."

Loki leaned to kiss you one last time. You welcomed the kiss with shut eyes, savouring his lips and the taste of your tears, mixing now with his own.

The pain started to bloom; every heartbeat felt like a sledgehammer pounding against his chest. He was not ready to let you go, so this was all he could do. The seidr flowed from his fingers, the green lights covering your body with the help of the spell he casted for you was made to protect you from anything that could get out of hand in the Sacred Timeline, particularly from his own hands, the hands of the TVA, or any other danger that could chase you. Because if something would happen to you due to his stubborn decision, Loki knew he wouldn't forgive himself. What he was sure about though, was that he would still look for you until the end of time.

So when the kiss ended, you fell asleep in seconds. He had to take your sleeping figure with his arms to your bedroom, where he carefully laid you down on the bed. Making sure you were comfortable in your sleep, fixing the pillows and the blankets, Loki remained there, just to take in the serenity emanating from you. It was something you had, the ease and calm your aura projected to everyone in the room. This was the last thing Loki wanted to save from you.

He kissed your forehead and dried the tears on your face before standing up. Once you were to wake up in some hours, you would not be able to know everything was real. Loki made sure you thought it was a dream. So that is what you would have in your head. Something you wished for so long that will only be nothing but thoughts, scenes and emotions that felt absolutely true. As real as life could be.

Loki took the TemPad and opened the timedoor to go back to the TVA, where he knew Mobius would be waiting already since he left for hours. Without looking back to your room, he stepped in and forced to compose himself just in case he would bump into someone else. He sighed, observing through the halls of the headquaters as he made his way back to the room that was assigned to him.

At his door, a worried Mobius was already waiting for him, walking in circles.

"God, Loki I thought you were gone for a second," the analyst breathed out. Loki just handed the TemPad and Mobius took it back. He noticed his weary demeanor and teary eyes. "Thank you. Sorry I doubted you for a second."

"It's fine," Loki shrugged it off, looking for something on his pocket. The photograph slipped from his fingers and fell down to the floor. Mobius was quick enough to pick it up for him, but as he gave it back to his owner he observed it thoroughly.

"So this was the personal thing you did," Mobius said, looking the photograph resting on Loki's hand. He remembered that face from his files.

"Yeah... I guess all set now," Loki sighed.

"Good, I hope you're ready for another trip to the Sacred Timeline." Mobius turned to walk away, deciding it was better to give him some time, but he turned back to Loki before doing so. "And if you're feeling like talking about this any day, only between us, just let me know."

And with that, he walked away. Loki smiled, standing alone outside his door.

You were right. Mobius was a good friend.

[violetarks]

fooled around and fell in love!

anime: ouran high school host club

characters: fujioka haruhi, suoh tamaki, ootori kyoya

summary: you have enough charm to make even a host fall for you! why haven't you joined the club yet?

a/n: g/n! reader, they/them pronouns used, second person pov, reader isn't necessarily in love with them, they're just unintentionally getting the others to fall for them, but it can be read however you would like

↣ fujioka haruhi:

being the little plaything for the host club was not fun at all for haruhi. she would literally rather do anything else than this.

carrying four bags of food for the hosts, haruhi groans in frustration, "stupid rich people... why do they have to drink so many different brands of coffee?" she reaches into one bag, pulling out an order for hikaru. "he doesn't even like the ingredients in this. he just wanted me to say that long order for no reason..."

people watched the student struggle down the hall towards the host club room. haruhi felt a bit annoyed; didn't rich people have maids or something to do these things? a turn around the corner makes her stop on her tracks, nearly dropping the bags onto the floor.

a hand is held out to catch her elbow, steadying her feet. "sorry, i didn't see you." she apologises, holding the bags even tighter.

"it's okay." you retort, sliding your book bag onto your shoulder. you blink at her, noticing who she was. "oh, haruhi. good morning. you seem pretty busy already."

"good morning, y/n." she replies, nodding her head at you, "yeah, the host club needed a refill on a couple things."

"do you... need help?" you ask, tilting your head at her.

"oh no, it's okay." she spoke, shaking her head with a nervous smile, "i'm nearly there, and club activities are going to start soon."

you shrugged your shoulders, taking some of the bags from her hold. "it's okay, my meeting's been cancelled. i can help." you explain, giving haruhi a smile, "i don't mind spending a little more time getting to know you."

she held her breath for a moment as you led her to the music room that the host club occupied. you were well-known around the school yourself, not as much as the infamous tamaki but still. you shared world history class together and sat in front of her. she knew the sound of your voice by the end of the first month here at ouran academy, and it was no wonder why many of your classmates would seek your help for work. haruhi was good at reading people, so she could tell that you yourself didn't have any bad intentions.

you two became friends quite easily, and you had visited her a few times at the host club. you acted as a cool escape from the strange world of the rich that haruhi had to get used to. you spoke to her as if she was always a friend of yours, sweet and kind. she thought that, if you had tried to, you could knock even tamaki off of his pedestal.

"i heard from hikaru that your theme for this week is the opposite of a 'maid cafe'." your voice cuts through her thoughts, and she drags her eyes to meet with yours. heat rushes to her cheeks at the idea that kyoya had brought up to make a rise in sales. you chuckle at her reaction. "well, i'll have to make sure to stop by to see you."

haruhi rolls her eyes, looking out the window to her left. "please spare me the humiliation, y/n." she huffed out, frown tugging on her lips.

you only grin wider. "c'mon, haruhi, you know that’s the only reason i show up." you say, leaning forward to get a look at her face. she was burning even brighter, and it didn't help that when she glanced back at you, you were staring at her with that welcoming and heart-warming grin you always had for her. "should i switch to always visiting the twins, then?"

haruhi gives you a deadpan look, which makes you laugh. she knows you wouldn't, you literally only asked for her. but she couldn't help the feeling she experienced when you would say her name or look at her like that.

at the host club, you help drop off the bags as kyoya checks everything on his clipboard. at the bell, haruhi escorts you to the door.

"thank you again, y/n, for your help. i'll repay you." she says, knowing full well that all her payments were going to the host club for her initial incident.

you ruffle her hair a little with a smile. "no problem, haruhi. i'll always be here to lend a hand." you say, walking down the hall with your 'goodbye'.

haruhi spares you a wave, closing the door after seeing you turn the corner. when she looks back to her clubroom, she notices kyoya standing a few feet away, back against the wall. "oh, kyoya-senpai. i forgot you—”

“taking a liking to l/n, have we?” he taunts, clipboard under his arm. his glasses gleam with mischief and haruhi gulps. picking it up from the table, he hands her the costume for the day. “is that why they’ve become a regular now?”

she rolls her eyes and grabs it from him. “believe what you want, i’m not doing this out of pleasure.” she admits, hurrying to the change rooms. she passes the other hosts, all standing in the doorway and watching the two interact. haruhi stops on her tracks yet again, furrowing her brows. “what now?”

“what’s this? have haruhi and y/n finally begun dating?” the twins chime, wrapping their arms around haruhi as she begins to heat up, “the love story of the century, two pining young students unable to keep their affections a secret.”

kaoru glances to tamaki, who is fixing up his tie. “what do you say, boss? should we invite y/n to join the host club?” he suggests.

honey jumps up, holding his toy up in the air. “they would be so cute together, right taka-chan?” mori simply nods his head, looking indifferent.

“hmm. perhaps a new addition would spark some rivalry between haruhi and y/n.” tamaki concludes, “many of our guests would love to see the lovers battle to be the best! yes, that is a splendid idea! haruhi—”

turning around, he sees haruhi exit the change rooms in her butler outfit. she huffs back, shaking her head, “i am not inviting y/n to join the host club, you idiots.”

she walks passed them, ignoring the banter they were spouting and the arguments they had for you joining the club. in the end, it was a definite no.

she didn’t know what it was. maybe she just really wanted you to herself.

↣ suoh tamaki:

tamaki, like always, was surrounded by the girls of ouran academy.

if there were any sign that today was just going to be another day, it would be that. the sounds of screams and dreamy sighs, the voice of tamaki swooning them all, and the trail of hearts left behind. another day here at school for you.

but, like always, the club members would make fun of him for his eccentric ideas and whatnot. as they leave to go to class, tamaki stands in the music room with a disappointed look on his face. whenever he would put a frown on his face, the customers would come rushing in! hold his face, cling to his side! why must his friends be so disheartening?

when the door opens to the music room, he expects it to be kyoya to drag him back, and he throws on his frown again. "oh, kyoya! i'm so sad!"

"why is that, tamaki?" you ask, closing the door with your sheet music under your arm and your violin in hand. he blinks at you, obviously not expecting anyone other than the club members. "my apologies, i walked into the wrong room. why are you here by yourself?"

to play it off (although he has never seen you attend any club activities, only ever seeing you in his literature class) he stands up, cheeks burning with embarrassment. he chuckles out, arms thrown to his sides, "o-oh! don't mind me, i'm just a bit down. i didn't expect such a kind student to make themselves known at such a time! how are you on this fine day, mx l/n?"

when you tilt your head, walking closer to his spot at the couch. "a sweet boy like you should never be left alone to sulk." you state, sitting down across from him. he widens his eyes, gulping. "where are your friends?"

"uh... they are in, um, class!" he says as the end-of-the-day bell rings. you only smile. tamaki sighs, dropping his whole get-up and looking to his hands, leaning back against the softness of the couch, "i suppose they left me here while they went home."

"you don't want to go home yet?" you question. he shakes his head. you only exhale, placing your sheet music on the table and your violin next to you. "well, if that is the case, then i'd be happy to keep you company, my lovely."

he widens his eyes as he looks to you. a faint blush paints his cheeks. "you... would?" you nod your head twice. he then smiles. "truthfully, i have no business being here right now. kyoya had called off our club meeting because of exams coming up and the twins failing some classes. and if they fail, they can't be in the club."

"is that so?" you say, making conversation, "well, i suppose you can spend your time with me."

"do you not have a lesson to get to?" tamaki asks, concerned as he glances to your sheet music, "i wouldn't want to keep you—"

"would you like to come to my practice, then?" you offer, smiling softly that it makes him hold his breath for a moment. you were so charming, in such a different way than he was. it was enticing. "i'm sure you wouldn't distract me. not on purpose, that is."

your little joke at the end makes him nervously laugh. "oh, i... i wouldn't want to bother."

"you're not bothering me, tamaki." you honestly say. he unconsciously leans towards you, eager to get closer. you stay where you are, smiling at his actions. "and it seems you just can't resist me."

he catches himself falling. he almost can't believe it, but he then fixes himself and his posture, standing up straight. "r—right, well, i... you...!"

you chuckle, standing up and taking his arm linked in yours, "alright, prince, let's go."

he gasps as you guide him to your practice room, so confident through the halls. he's scared someone will see him in such a flustered state and his cool prince facade will fade. but luckily enough, you navigate your way easily and shut the door behind you.

except, it doesn't take you to the music room. no, in fact, you and tamaki end up on one of the balconies that overlook the quieter side of school — opposite side from the host club.

"i practice here during our breaks and study sessions." you admit, placing a music stand and clipping your sheet music to it. unlatching you violin, you glance to tamaki. "away from all your fangirls, that is."

he raises a brow, catching himself finding his confidence again, "jealous, perhaps?"

"what do you think?" you say, tuning your instrument.

tamaki blinks, staring at the ground as he sits at the bench in front of you. he states, "there is no possible way you could've gotten the wrong room, you know."

you raise your brows, looking back at him. a slow smile creeps onto your lips. "your club passed me in the hallway before i saw you." you admit, waxing your bow, "i just wanted to make sure ouran's pride and joy was okay."

his heart swells at your words. he doesn't know why, but all of a sudden birds sings for you, flowers bloom in your presence the breeze smells sweeter.

"thank you..." he hums, smiling at you sweetly, "may i hear something?"

you lift your bow, nodding your head, "yes, your highness."

his heart explodes at the first note.

↣ ootori kyoya:

if there was one thing kyoya was good at, it was analysing people's strengths and weaknesses. the smart one, glasses-wearing, everything. he was it.

but one thing he couldn't understand was why you were so popular.

you were a part of the school student committee, and as a part of your duties, you hd to do monthly check-ups on clubs to see if they were still eligible to continue. while the host club never failed, you would still drop by without a doubt.

today was one of those days.

kyoya could tell you were near by the increase in whispers and gasps around the hallway. once heard, he excused himself and walked off to grab the folder that held the statistics for their monthly report.

as if on cue, you enter, herd of admirers behind you.

"ah, good evening, mx l/n." he says, offering a bow, "to what do i owe the pleasure?"

"it's good to see you too, ootori." you chime, bowing yourself, "is your report ready for this month? it is the 31st after all."

kyoya can almost hear the agonising tone in your voice, hidden by your politeness. but he doesn't waver, holding out the folder. "indeed. like always, we are right on time." he tells you.

you take it from him, opening it up and falting. kyoya raises a brow. "is something the matter, l/n?" he questions.

you look up at him with the faintest smile. "perhaps you're pulling my leg here, ootori. this appears to be last month's report." you chime, pinpointing his mistakes at its core.

he takes the folder from you and reviews the dates. you were correct, this was last month's report. he scans the room until he locks eyes with the twins, who shrug their shoulders innocently and walk off.

"i... apologise. it seems the twins have taken it into their own hands to file the report for this month." he sighs, fixing his glasses, "if you'll follow me, i will find it for you."

you agree, smiling as those you pass before you enter the side room with kyoya in front of you.

as the doors shut, you click your tongue, "oh kyoya, those two run circles around you, don't they?"

the host rolls his eyes, taking out the box of reports from the cabinet and setting them on the desk. he does miss how his name sounds on your lips. so soft.

"they are a pain, but we make do." he huffs, "must your enterage always follow you when you come see us?"

"oh it's not just when i come here." you state, hand on your hip, "it's everywhere."

you were so smug it made him scowl. he opens the box and notices that they are all out of order. he groans, "we have to look through every individual file, i'm afraid."

"luckily this is my last club for tonight." you sigh, taking out a couple folders, "i can help you organise these."

"but wouldn't your fanclub miss you too much, y/n?" kyoya speaks, doing the same thing and looking through them.

"you're one to talk." you chuckle.

"i truly don't understand how you manage to gather so many followers. you're merely treasurer." he complains, shrugging his shoulders, "do you like being followed around like that?"

you roll your eyes at his dramatic personality. you and kyoya had been friends for ages now, and it seems the popularity you acquire puts a strain on your relationship.

"i don't mind being followed, but i do like all of my friends." you state, flipping through pages, "i speak to all of them regularly."

"so they talk to you and you enjoy it?" he questions, raising a brow at you. the thought irked him. why did you speak to so many people? he could call bullshit. but you shrug your shoulders.

"everybody wants to be liked by the person they have a crush on." you say, knowing tone. every one of your "friends" have or have had a crush on you, which is why they speak to you in the first place. "it just so happens that i like making friends."

"that's preposterous." he huffs back, "i don't understand the severity. i don't feel the need to be liked by you."

"that's because i already like you, kyoya. we were friends since forever, after all." you state, putting one report into the correct folder as you glance at him working, "do you not feel the same?"

"frankly, it doesn't matter to me." kyoya says, ignoring how his chest felt at what you said. it was reassuring to know you still liked him.

"what, are you saying that you don't like me, kyoya?" you say, overdramatic voice on. you move closer to kyoya, tilting your head and jutting our your lip. he swallows his nerves "even after everything we've been through? i'm hurt."

"quiet." he grunts, pushing you away as you laugh. his face grows warmer. "just... find that report and get out of here. it's almost time for club activities to end."

you stare at him for a moment, watching red grow on his cheeks in frustration. your friend has always been this way, even though he acts more familiar with you in private, his embarrassed look never changes. you just see it more than anyone else. that's just how you were.

"okay, kyo." you chuckle, moving to the other side of the table and continuing your work.

kyoya sighs to himself, fixing his glasses and calming himself down. how could you be so... charming? and effortlessly so? is this why everyone fawned over you in a similar way to how they fawn over tamaki?

a few more minutes pass before you've found the file and managed to organise the rest of them. kyoya breathes in relief, putting the box away and silently cursing the twins out.

"thank you, kyoya." you hum out, tucking the folder under your arm, "i'll let you know what we come to."

he puts his hand on the door and before he opens it, he turns to you. "you're welcome. please do. it's the only time we ever... see you." he admits, seeing your raised brows.

your smile drops for a second before you sigh, patting his back, "i'll be sure to come and visit more often then. just for you."

when he opens the door, tamaki is trying to swoon your crowd to leave. he cheers and waves his hands, but to no avail. when they see you, they follow after.

"i apologise for extending my stay, suoh." you say, nodding at him as you stand in the exit, your crowd behind you, "i'll see you all soon."

with a wave of your hand, you leave, smiling at kyoya one last time. the twins turn to him immediately.

"so, how was your date with y/n?" they chime, leaning on his shoulders.

"it wasn't a date, you morons. you do realise how much trouble you caused." he says, a sly smile on his face, "seems like a punishment is in order."

the twins dash out of the room before he can say another word, the other members talking quietly amongst themselves about you.

but kyoya only looks down at his clipboard, once again counting the days til you come again for your monthly report.

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

When They Accidentally Bring Up an Insecurity| Changbin

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

One of the things you loved most about Changbin was his strength, both physical and emotional. He was your rock, always there to support and protect you. You could tell him anything and everything.

But there was one thing about yourself that you kept hidden, an insecurity that had haunted you for years: your appearance.

You never felt quite good enough, always comparing yourself to others and feeling like you fell short. As you grew up you learned to love yourself, but after Changbin had taken a liking to you, you found yourself thrown into a world of other worldly beautiful people. And it just seem to dig up what you had taken so long to bury.

One evening, Changbin came over to your apartment, excited to spend a cozy night in together. You had just bought a new outfit, hoping it would make you feel better about yourself.

It was stupid, but you and Changbin dressed up even when you guys had stay at home dates. It was a silly little tradition that had happened when you guys had decided to skip out on an award ceremony to stay home and recreate music videos.

Ever since then, all your home dates still had classy attire.

You were in the bedroom, trying it on and examining yourself in the mirror. You couldn’t help but feel dissatisfied.

Changbin walked in, smiling. “Hey, you ready to watch that new movie? I've been waiting for forever.”

You turned to him, seeking validation. “How do I look?”

Changbin’s smile widened. “You look great, as always.” He bounced on his feet antsy for the movie. "I have it set up on the TV, I just came to grab some blankets.

You hesitated, feeling the familiar doubt creeping in. “Really? I’m not sure if this outfit is flattering…”

Changbin approached you and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. along with a cheek kiss. “You look the same as always Y/N, I don't see any difference.” He reached into your closet, grabbing an extra big and fluffy blanket. "Do you want popcorn or chips tonight?"

His words, meant to comfort, hit you like a punch to the gut. Your mind twisted his meaning, interpreting it as him saying you always looked unattractive. You felt a lump form in your throat as you turned away, trying to hold back tears.

“I'll grab the chips,” you muttered, walking past him and into the living room.

Changbin followed, confusion evident on his face. “Did I say something wrong?” His tiny legs followed your longer ones - another insecurity.

You shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak without your voice breaking. You grabbed a bag of chips, then the remote and started the movie, hoping to distract yourself. Changbin sat beside you, his excitement to watch the movie coming back after the weird encounter.

He looked to see your face at all the funny parts- as he did with everything you guys watched, because he loved to see the way your eyes shut and your mouth upturned whenever you laughed, your nose wrinkling.

But instead, his hearty laughter, died down more and more as he realized that something was up.

The movie played on, but you couldn’t focus. Your mind kept replaying Changbin’s words, and the sting of them deepened your insecurities. You felt tears welling up, and finally, you couldn’t hold them back any longer. You stood up abruptly, muttering an excuse about needing some air, and headed to the balcony.

Changbin paused the movie and followed you outside. He found you leaning against the railing, wiping away tears.

“Hey,” he said softly, touching your arm. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

You took a shaky breath, deciding to let it out. “Do you think I'm unattractive?” You cried quietly.

Changbin’s eyes widened in realization. “Y/N, what on Earth made you think that?"

You sniffled and continued to wipe at your face. "Y-You said you didn't see a difference. When-when I tried to look beautiful you-you said that." You choked out and Changbin sighed, pulling you into his arms.

You let yourself lean into him, his hugs always a comfort to you. Just enough pressure to not suffocate you, but still give you a feeling of stability.

He swallowed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize. You are beautiful, inside and out. I love you just the way you are, and I never want you to feel otherwise.”

You continued to hiccup into his chest.

"I didn't know that was something you struggled with...I'm a dumbass aren't I?" He chuckled lightly. "I struggled with the same thing, yet I couldn't even recognize that you were feeling the same way..." He sighed and put his face into your hair. "Y/N I wouldn't trade anything in the world for you. I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever met. I thought that when I first saw you. I thought that on our first date. I thought that when we had our first kiss. And I'll continue to think that for the rest of my life. Please believe me when I say that."

He gently lifted your chin to look at him.

"When I said I didn't see a difference it's because you always look like the moon to me in a world full of stars." You felt an ache in your chest from the sincerity in his eyes and couldn't deny the love you felt for the man in front of you.

From that moment on, Changbin made a conscious effort to be more mindful of his words. He reassured you of your beauty and worth, offering compliments and support without hesitation. He also took the time to understand your insecurities, listening to you as you opened up about your struggles.

And you never felt as if he complimented you just to make you feel better. You genuinely could see the love in his eyes, and the genuine meaning of the words he was telling you.

One evening, as you were both getting ready for a night out, you stood in front of the mirror, trying on a new outfit. Changbin walked into the bedroom and smiled as he saw you.

Changbin looked at you with a soft smile. “You know, I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met,” he said.

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Sure, I am.” You said adjusting the top you had just put on.

“No, really,” he insisted. “Not just on the outside, but on the inside too. You have the kindest heart, and that’s what makes you truly beautiful.”

You turned to him, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. “I love you,” you replied, feeling a sense of confidence you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Changbin walked over and wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. “I love you,” he whispered. “And I want you to know that you’re perfect to me, just the way you are.”

You leaned back into his embrace, feeling a sense of contentment and peace.

"I almost don't want to go out." He said with a Changbin certified pout.

"Ah, you don't mean that."

"I do." He whines. Then sighs. "But alas...I have to go out. I have some big plans for tonight." He said shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Big...plans?" You turned to see Changbin walking towards the front door. "Wait- Bin what do you mean big plans?" You ask rushing to finsih putting on your shoes to follow him to car.

You just watched as his little legs moved faster, disregarding the open front door as he waddled down the walkway to get to the street.

"Seo Changbin!" You called out, rushing after him. The only answer his hearty little laugh.

(this is how i envision that last scene)

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric

@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee

@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin

@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun

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@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9

@minsungsthirdwheel

[wis-art]

The worst period of my life was when I was a self hating teenager in denial about being transgender. I grew up in a deeply abusive household and my father expected me to be his manly son and I tried to conform despite it driving me insane, I fell down many nasty rabbitholes because of my insecurities rooted in deep hatred of my body and deep hatred of what I should be, I have always felt uneasy looking at men in cartoons and movies thinking to myself how much I don't want to become that, always envying the girls and always dreaming about waking up as a girl. This all lead me online because I felt so isolated from the world and I couldn't relate to anybody. Of course an unmedicated self hating teenager, with grand delusions about being god's little special soldier, seeking ANY validation is bound to fall into some horrible places, i am one of the victims of the alt right pipeline, and it did drive me into suicidal spirals many times over how much I hated myself for being transgender. Eventually I snapped out of it and grew out of it but the taste in my mouth of ever associating myself with that kind of community is really disgusting and never seems to wash off from my tongue, which I suppose is good since I never want to be back there mentally. I despise the right wingers, seeing and experiencing their beliefs first hand, it's all just driven by hate and insecurity, the only reason why it's so popular is because these people prey on lack of knowledge and insecurity of any kind, offering easy solutions and quick fixes, putting an easy target to direct your hate towards just to deflect the hate away from yourself. It is not a valid or real solution or even political ideology, it's a grift and a worldview sold to people who know their future is uncertain, it's harnessing the societal instability and crisis for political and financial gain, and I was a sucker for it in my teenage years for which I apologize. Nowadays I am unapologetically a leftist, with flaws and gaps in knowledge, like any other human on this earth but fundamentally different and changed from when I was a kid, and I am proud of myself and I am proud to be the bad transgender bitch that I am. It took so much effort, medicine, therapy, help from my family, help from my friends for me to realize that I was wrong and that I need to change. I did not do it alone. And I'm glad I did it, and I'm happy to ve fortunate enough to receive help and support despite being a toxic unpleasant person to be around. All so I can just be Wis in peace a weird transgender woman on the internet, drawing trans women who despise the fascists and nazis. It's also why I so deeply believe in people changing and why I am so adamantly against harassing people for their mistakes for years, it just doesn't help, all it does is makes one ashamed and all shame does is drive one further into the abyss of self hatred. As corny as it sounds love has saved me and it is love and patience that helps people change

[natsaffection]

Wait and Hope. Pt 2 | N.R

Warnings: gun shots, blood, gore 'traumatized' children, just angst

Word Count: 9,8k

A/n: Okay, it's a lot..The Request you can find here.

The first few weeks after Lila, Jacob, and Mia moved in were an emotional whirlwind. Mia adapted quickly, her boundless energy and cheerful nature filling the house with light. She often clung to you and Natasha, seeking your warmth and affection, while Jacob remained quieter, but slowly began to open up. But Lila..Lila was different. You and Natasha had expected some challenges. Lila was, after all, fifteen and had been through more than any teenager should. But as the days turned into weeks, it became clear that Lila's walls were still firmly in place, and she wasn't ready to tear them down anytime soon.

Natasha, who had taken on the role of disciplinarian, had set clear boundaries from the start. She was strict but fair, and the kids quickly learned that pushing those boundaries or talking back wouldn't get them very far. Lila start to respect Natasha, yet there was still a certain distance, an unspoken agreement that Natasha wouldn't push too hard as long as Lila didn't push back. But you..you were also different. You were the heart of the family, always warm, always understanding, always trying to reach Lila with kindness and patience. And that's where the problems began. Lila wasn't ready for that kind of affection, not from someone she still saw as a stranger, and her rejection often manifested in anger. It had been a long day, filled with the usual ups and downs of settling into a new routine.

Natasha had just returned from work and found you in the kitchen, preparing dinner. The tension in the air was palpable, and Natasha could sense that something was wrong. "What happened?" Natasha asked gently, stepping beside you and placing a hand on your back. You sighed, your shoulders sagging slightly. "Lila and I had another argument.." you admitted, your voice tinged with frustration and sadness. "She shut me out again, and when I tried to talk to her about it, she just..exploded." Natasha frowned, her protective instincts kicking in. "What did she say?"

You hesitated, clearly reluctant to relive the exchange. "She told me to stop pretending I care, that I'm not her real mother, and that I don't understand anything she's been through." you said quietly, your voice cracking slightly. Natasha's heart ached for you, knowing how hard you had been trying to connect with Lila. She wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a comforting embrace. "I'm sorry, Detka.." Natasha murmured, her voice filled with empathy. "Lila's hurting, and she's taking it out on you because she doesn't know how else to cope."

"I know." you whispered as you leaned into Natasha's embrace. "But it's so hard, Nat. I just want her to see that we love her and that we're here for her. But no matter what I do, it feels like I can't get through to her." Natasha tightened her embrace, her heart breaking for the woman she loved. "You're doing everything right." she said gently. "It's just going to take time. Lila's been through a lot, and she's scared. She's not used to people being kind to her without expecting something in return."

You nodded as you tried to hold back your tears. "I'm so proud that the kids are bonding with you, especially since you were the one who was most worried about it. But..I can't help feeling like I'm failing somehow." Natasha pulled back slightly, cupping your face in her hands and looking into your eyes with unwavering love. "You're not failing." she said firmly. "You're the heart of this family, Y/n. The kids are struggling right now, but they will open up. And when they do, it will be because you never stopped believing in them."

You sniffled, a small, sad smile tugging at your lips. "I hope so." you whispered. "I really hope so." At that moment, you both heard a door slam upstairs, followed by the sound of quick, stomping footsteps in the hallway. Natasha sighed, knowing that Lila was in one of her moods again. She pressed a quick kiss to your forehead. "I'll go talk to her." Natasha said gently. "You can finish up here, okay?" You nodded, grateful for Natasha's support. "Thank you." you whispered. Natasha gave you a reassuring smile before heading upstairs. She found Lila in her room, sitting on her bed with her arms crossed, her expression set in a defiant scowl. “Hey..” Natasha said, her voice calm but firm. “We need to talk.” Lila looked up, her eyes flashing with anger. “What?” she snapped. “What now?”

Natasha wasn’t fazed by Lila’s hostility. “You need to stop taking your anger out on Y/n.” she said, her tone measured. “I know you’re going through a lot, and I know you’re hurting, but she is trying to help you. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.” Lila’s expression faltered for a moment, a fleeting look of guilt crossing her face before it hardened again. “I didn’t ask for her help.” Lila muttered, her voice full of bitterness. “I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“I know.” Natasha responded, her voice softening. “But this is your reality now. We are your family, and we’re here for you, whether you like it or not. Y/n cares about you, and she’s trying so hard to make this work. You need to meet her halfway.” Lila looked away, her jaw clenched tightly. “I don’t need a new family.” she mumbled, her voice barely audible.

Natasha sighed, feeling the weight of Lila’s pain. “Maybe not.” she said quietly. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you have one now. And part of that family is Y/n. She’s not trying to replace anyone in your life, she just wants to be there for you.” Lila didn’t respond, but Natasha could see the inner conflict in her eyes. She was struggling, torn between her fear of being hurt again and her deep, unspoken desire for closeness.

“I’m not asking you to change overnight.” Natasha continued, her voice gentle. “But I’m asking you to try. Give her a chance. She’s not going away, and neither am I.” Lila’s shoulders slumped slightly, the fight gradually leaving her. She said nothing, but Natasha knew the message had been received. It would take time, but Natasha was willing to wait, to keep pushing until Lila was ready to let them in.

“Okay.” Natasha said softly as she slowly moved toward the door. “Take some time to cool off. We’ll talk later.” She left Lila’s room, her heart heavy from the weight of the conversation. She knew this wasn’t the end of the struggle, but she hoped it was a step in the right direction.

When Natasha returned to the kitchen, you were setting the table for dinner, your expression a mixture of sadness and determination. Natasha walked up to you, wrapped her arms around your waist, and rested her chin on your shoulder. “How did it go?” you asked quietly as you leaned into Natasha’s embrace. “It went as well as it could.” Natasha replied, her voice filled with quiet confidence. “She’s still hurting, but I think she’s starting to understand that we’re not going to give up.”

You sighed and closed your eyes for a moment. “I just wish I knew how to help her.” you murmured. “You’re already helping her.” Natasha said gently. “Just by being here, by being patient, by showing her love even when she pushes you away. It’s not easy, but you’re doing exactly what she needs.”

You nodded, your heart still heavy, but you felt a renewed sense of determination rising within you. “I’m not going to give up..” you whispered. “I won’t give up on any of them.” Natasha smiled, kissed your cheek. “And neither will I.” she said softly. “We’re in this together, Y/n. We’ll make it through, one day at a time.”

Months passed and Mia had quickly settled in, her cheerful nature and boundless energy bringing a light into the house that you and Natasha greatly appreciated. Jacob, though quieter, had also begun to open up and was gradually finding his place in the family. Since you allowed him to buy his own things, you both stumbled over piles of books every day,. But Lila? She was still struggling. The walls she had built around herself remained firmly in place, and despite all of your and Natasha’s efforts, she seemed determined to keep you both at a distance. It was a constant source of tension in the house, especially between Lila and you, as you bore the brunt of Lila’s anger and frustration.

One evening, Natasha was in the kitchen preparing dinner, while you were just on your way to join her. Mia was sitting at the table, doodling on a piece of paper, and Jacob was nearby, quietly reading a book. The atmosphere was calm, a peaceful routine that you had worked hard to establish. As Natasha stirred a pot on the stove, she heard Mia’s small, sweet voice call out, “Mommy, can you help me with this?”

Natasha’s heart skipped a beat, her hand pausing mid-motion. She turned to see Mia holding up her pencil with a confused expression, waiting for Natasha to come over. It took Natasha a moment to process what she had just heard. Mommy..Mia had called her mommy! The word hit Natasha like a wave, the weight of it filling her chest with a mix of emotions she wasn’t prepared for. She had been so focused on making sure the kids felt safe and loved that she hadn’t expected this moment hadn’t expected one of the children to call her by that name.

“Mommy?” Mia repeated, looking up at Natasha with wide, innocent eyes. Natasha blinked, quickly collecting herself and forcing a smile. “Of course, sweetheart..” she said, trying to keep her voice steady as she walked over to the table. She crouched down next to Mia and helped her with the drawing, but her mind was spinning, her heart filled with a mixture of joy and vulnerability.

You noticed the change in Natasha’s demeanor, how her eyes were a little brighter than usual, and you knew what had happened. You reached out, placing a comforting hand on Natasha’s arm and giving her an encouraging smile. Both of you had been waiting for this moment, and now that it had come, it was as overwhelming as it was beautiful. But the quiet joy of the moment didn’t last long. As Natasha returned to the stove, she heard the front door slam shut. Her heart sank, knowing that could only mean one thing. Lila was home.

You sighed, your expression growing more serious as you stood up. “Let me handle this.” you said quietly, knowing it would likely lead to another confrontation. Natasha looked at you sympathetically. “Do you want me to come with you?” she offered, knowing how difficult these moments were for you.

But you shook your head, determination in your eyes. “No, I need to do this.” you said gently. “She needs to know that I’m not going anywhere, no matter how much she tries to push me away.” Natasha nodded, watching you with a mix of admiration and concern as you left the kitchen and headed upstairs. She could hear the music blasting from Lila’s room, a clear sign that she was trying to shut out the world.

You knocked on Lila’s door and waited for a response that didn’t come. You took a deep breath, opened the door, and stepped inside. Lila was sitting on her bed, earbuds in, her face set in a grim expression as she stared at her phone. She didn’t even look up as you entered. “Lila.” you began, your voice calm but firm. Lila didn’t react, her fingers angrily tapping on her phone as if to drown out your voice. You moved closer and gently placed a hand on Lila’s shoulder to get her attention.

“Lila, please.” you said, your voice softening. “Can we just talk?” In that moment, Lila exploded. She ripped the earbuds out of her ears and turned to you, her eyes blazing with anger. “leave me alone!” she snapped. “Stop pretending you care because we both know it’s not true!” You recoiled slightly, the words hitting you like a physical blow. But you didn’t back down. You had heard this before, you had felt the sting of Lila’s rejection countless times. But you weren’t going to give up, not now, not ever.

“That’s not true.” you said, your voice trembling but determined. “I care about you. We both do. And I’m not pretending. I want you to feel safe here, to know that this is your home.” Lila scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest in a defensive posture. “Home? This isn’t my h-home. It’s just another place I’m stuck until you decide you don’t want me anymore..!” Your heart broke at Lila’s words, at the deep-seated pain and mistrust they revealed. You knew Lila had been through so much, that she had every reason to doubt the stability of her situation. But that didn’t make the words any less painful.

“That’s not going to happen.” you said, your voice filled with quiet resolve. “We’re not going to give up on you. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how much you try to push us away, we’re here. And we’re staying.” Lila’s eyes flashed with anger, her voice rising in frustration. “Why? Why do you even care? I’m just a burden to you, right? You’ve already got Jacob and Mia, so why do you even need me?” Lila finished, her voice cracking under the weight of her emotions.

Your eyes filled with tears, but you fought to keep them from falling, refusing to show Lila just how much her words hurt. “Because you’re part of our family!” you said, your voice trembling with emotion. “You, Jacob, and Mia, you’re all part of our family, and that means we love you, no matter what.” For a moment, Lila seemed to waver, her anger flickering as she looked into your eyes. But the years of pain and disappointment were too deep, too ingrained. She shook her head, her expression hardening again. “I don’t need your love..” she muttered, turning away from you. “Just leave me alone..please..”

You stood there for a long moment, your heart heavy with the weight of the conversation. You wanted so badly to reach Lila, to break through the walls she had built around herself. But you knew that it wouldn’t happen overnight. It would take time..time, patience, and a love that wouldn’t give up, no matter how much she resisted. Finally, you sighed and took a step back. “Alright.” you said quietly. “I’ll give you some space. But I want you to know that I’m here, whenever you’re ready.”

You turned and left the room, closing the door behind you with a soft click. As you made your way back downstairs, you felt the tears you had been holding back begin to fall. You quickly wiped them away, not wanting to break down in front of the children. When you returned to the kitchen, Natasha was waiting for you, her expression full of concern.

Without a word, she pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you close as the emotions of the day finally overwhelmed you. “You’re exactly what she needs, you know? She just doesn’t realize it yet. But she will, Y/n. I promise you, she will.” You clung to Natasha, finding strength in the quiet presence of your partner. Despite the challenges, despite the heartache, it was undeniably comforting to know that you weren’t facing this alone. You had each other, and that was enough to keep you going.

As the evening progressed, you both tried to push the tension aside and focus on the positive moments. Dinner passed quietly as Mia and Jacob chatted softly about their day at school. Mia, as always, was full of energy, telling stories about her friends and her new favorite game, while Jacob listened more than he spoke, but with a calmness that reassured you and Natasha that he was finding his way.

Lila, however, remained in her room, the door closed, shutting herself off from the world. Your heart ached every time you glanced down the hallway, wishing you could somehow reach through that door and pull Lila into the warmth of the family. But you knew it wasn’t that simple. Lila needed time, and more importantly, she needed to feel that she could come to you on her own terms.

After dinner, you and Natasha took the younger kids to bed. Mia was eager for her bedtime story, snuggling up to you with her favorite stuffed bear. As you read, her eyes slowly drifted shut, the words of the story lulling her into a peaceful sleep. Natasha tucked Jacob into bed, sitting with him for a few minutes as he quietly told her about a book he was reading. She listened attentively, offering encouragement and gentle advice, her heart swelling with pride as he began to open up more, sharing his thoughts and feelings in small but meaningful ways.

When the children were finally asleep, you and Natasha found yourselves alone in the living room, the house quiet except for the occasional creak of the floorboards or the distant hum of the refrigerator. You sat together on the couch, the weight of the day heavy on your shoulders. Natasha wrapped an arm around you, holding you close. “You’re helping them more than you realize.” she murmured. “Just by being here, by being patient. They been through so much, and they had to protect themselves for so long. And Lila maybe doesn’t know how to let people in, but she will. She’s starting to see that we’re not going anywhere.”

You nodded, though the doubt still lingered in your heart. “I just wish I could do more.” you said quietly. “You’re doing everything you can.” Natasha reassured you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “And that’s enough. We’ll keep being there for her, for all of them. And one day, Lila will realize that she’s not alone anymore.” You closed your eyes and let yourself relax in Natasha’s embrace. “Thank you.” you whispered, your voice full of gratitude. “For being so strong, for holding us all together.”

Natasha smiled, her heart swelling with love for you. “We hold each other together.” she said gently. “We’re a team, Y/n. And nothing will change that.” As you sat there, wrapped up in each other, the weight of the day began to lift. The challenges you were facing were real, and there would be more difficult days ahead, but there was also hope..hope that your love and determination would be enough to carry you through.

5 months had passed since the Kids had come into your lives, and while some things had improved, others remained heartbreakingly stagnant. Jacob and Lila had gradually opened up to Natasha, and over time, both had begun to call her “Mom.” She had never imagined herself in this role, but now that she heard those words, everything felt so much more real. But you still found yourself on the outside. Mia had also completely bonded with you, with the same boundless affection she always showed. But Jacob and Lila had yet to overcome that final hurdle. They hadn’t opened up to you in the same way they had with Natasha, and every time they called her “Mom” without including you, it chipped away at your heart a little more.

You tried not to let it show, tried to stay strong and hopeful. You knew that these things took time, and you didn’t want to rush them. But as the days turned into weeks, the constant reminder of your position on the sidelines began to wear you down. In this fragile time, you received an unexpected call from Nick. You and Natasha had all but retired from active duty, focusing on raising your new family. You had only agreed to take on missions when absolutely necessary, when no one else could do the job. But this mission was one of those cases. Fury’s voice was firm, almost apologetic, as he explained the situation.

“I wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.” Fury said over the secure line. “But this mission requires your particular set of skills. We need both of you.” You and Natasha exchanged a look, both feeling the weight of the request. You had built a new life, a stable life for your children, and the thought of leaving them, even temporarily, felt like tearing apart the foundation you had worked so hard to build.

“We have a family now, Nick.” Natasha said, her voice strained with frustration. “You know that. We can’t just drop everything and go on a mission.”

“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t critical, Natasha.” Fury responded, his tone serious. “I know this is hard, but you’re the best we have for this job. If there were another way, I’d take it.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, the pressure of the situation bearing down on you. You had always known that this was a possibility, that your previous lives as Avengers could come back at any time. But now, with your family still so fragile, it felt like the worst possible timing. “How long?” you asked, your voice tense with emotion.

“Two days.” Fury replied. “We’ll have everything you need at the Compound. The kids will be safe and well taken care of.”

After a tense moment of silence, Natasha finally spoke. "We need to talk to the kids about this." she said, her voice resigned. "But we’ll do it." You looked at Natasha, the silent communication between you carrying the weight of your decision. You didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to leave your children, especially not when things were still so uncertain. But you also understood your responsibility, the trust Fury had placed in you, and the greater good you had always fought for.

That evening, the family gathered around the dinner table, the usual chatter quieter than normal. The weight of the day hung in the air, and even Mia seemed to sense that something was different. You cleared your throat and exchanged a glance with Natasha before speaking. "Kids, we need to talk to you about something important."

Mia’s eyes lit up with curiosity, while Jacob and Lila looked up from their plates, their expressions more guarded. "We got a call today from work." Natasha continued, her voice calm but tinged with a slight hesitancy. "There are some things we need to take care of." Mia’s excitement was immediate. "Are we coming too?" she asked, her voice filled with childlike wonder.

Natasha smiled gently and shook her head. "Not quite. You will come to work with us, yes. But we have to do the rest ourselves. You’ll stay there while we’re away, and we’ll be back as soon as we can." Jacob’s face brightened at the mention of the Avengers Compound. "Will we see the Avengers? The compound?!"

Natasha nodded, her heart aching at the thought of leaving them behind. "Yes," she said. "and we’ll make sure you’re safe and well taken care of while we’re gone." But Lila’s reaction was immediate and hostile. Her fork clattered against the plate as she dropped it, and her expression hardened. "So you’re just going to leave us there?" she snapped, her voice filled with anger and fear. "What if you don’t come back? What if this is just another way to get rid of us?"

Your heart sank at Lila’s words, the familiar sting of her mistrust cutting deep. "Lila, that’s not true." you said gently, trying to keep your voice steady. "This is just for the mission. We will come back, I promise you." But Lila wasn’t having it. She pushed her chair back and stood up, her eyes blazing with a mix of anger and betrayal. "That’s what you say now, but how do I know it’s true? You’re just like everyone else! Making promises you can’t keep."

Natasha reached out to Lila, her voice firm but gentle. "Lila, listen to me. We’re not like the people you’ve known before. We’re not going to leave you. This mission is something we have to do, but it’s just for two days. We will come back." Lila’s gaze fixed on Natasha, and for a moment, there was a flicker of vulnerability in her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated. When she finally did, her voice was quiet, almost trembling. "Mum, I don’t want you to go.."

The word hit Natasha like a blow to the chest. Lila had called her that a few times before, but the way she said it now, with such raw emotion, nearly broke her heart. Natasha wanted to hold her, to promise her that everything would be okay, but she knew it wasn’t that simple. You, standing beside Natasha, felt a sharp pang of pain. Lila had called Natasha "Mum" with such sincerity, and yet there was still a distance between her and you, a barrier that hadn’t been broken.

"We’ll come back, Lila." Natasha repeated, her voice firm but filled with emotion. "I promise you, we will come back." But Lila’s anger flared up again, defensive and protective of the wounds she still carried. "Promises mean nothing!" she snapped. "You’ll leave, and then you’ll realize you don’t want us anymore, and we’ll be right back where we started!"

Jacob and Mia watched in stunned silence, the tension at the table palpable. You felt the weight of the moment pressing down on you, the overwhelming feeling that no matter what you said, it wouldn’t be enough to ease Lila’s fears. She turned and stormed out of the room, the door slamming behind her and leaving a heavy silence in her wake. You stood there, your heart breaking as you stared at the closed door. You felt Natasha’s hand on your shoulder, a silent reassurance, but it did little to ease the pain in your chest.

Mia, ever the optimist, broke the silence with her soft, hopeful voice. "You’ll come back, won’t you?" she asked, her eyes wide and innocent. You forced a smile and knelt down to hug Mia tightly. "Yes, sweetheart." you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "We’ll come back. I promise." Jacob, still sitting, looked at Natasha with a mixture of trust and uncertainty. "And you’ll be okay, right?" Natasha nodded and gently ran her fingers through his hair. "We’ll be okay." she said softly. "And we’ll come back to you. To all of you."

As the evening wore on, the atmosphere remained tense, the shadow of the upcoming mission hanging over you all. Natasha and you tried to maintain a semblance of normalcy, but the weight of the situation was impossible to ignore. Later that night, as you got ready for bed, you could no longer hold back your tears. You sat on the edge of the bed, your shoulders shaking as the emotions of the day finally overwhelmed you.

Natasha sat beside you, wrapping her arms around you, holding you close as the tears began to flow. You leaned into Natasha, your head resting on her shoulder as you let out all the pain and frustration you had been holding inside. "I don’t know what to do.." you whispered, your voice trembling. "This mission..I’m so scared that we’ll lose everything we’ve worked so hard for." Natasha tightened her embrace, her heart aching for you. She knew how much you had invested in this family, how desperately you had tried to connect with everyone, to be the mother they needed. But she also knew that some wounds took time to heal, and especially Lila’s wounds were deep.

"We’re not going to lose this." Natasha said firmly, her voice full of determination. "We’ve worked too hard, and we’re not going to let this mission take that away from us." You sniffled and wiped your eyes, trying to steady yourself. "I just wish I knew how to get through to them." you whispered. "Lila’s starting to trust you, and that’s wonderful, but I feel like.." You took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions inside you. "I want to believe in us." you said quietly. "But its so hard..."

Natasha kissed your forehead, her touch tender and soothing. "You don’t have to go through this alone." she whispered. "We’re a team, remember? We’ll get through this together." You nodded, feeling a glimmer of hope in your chest. "I know." you whispered. "And I’m so grateful for you, Nat. I don’t know how I’d get through this without you."

Natasha smiled, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. "You’d make it because you’re strong, stronger than you think. And we’ll make it through this, all of us, together." You sat there in silence for a while, holding each other close, finding comfort in the quiet strength of your bond. The challenges you were facing felt overwhelming, but there was a deep, unshakable love between you that kept you going.

After a while, Natasha spoke again, her voice gentle but resolute. "We need to talk to Fury before we leave." she said. "Make sure everything is set up for the kids while we’re gone. And we need to make it clear to him that this is the last time for a long time. Our family needs us here." You nodded, your resolve returning. "You’re right." you agreed. "This is the last time. We need to be here for the kids, especially now. They need to know they can rely on us."

"And they will." Natasha said, her voice firm. "We’ll do this mission, but after that, we’re done. Our family comes first." With that decision, you both felt a sense of calm settle over you. The upcoming mission still weighed heavily on you, but you now knew where your priorities lay, and you were ready to fight for what mattered most.

The next morning, you both rose early to make the final preparations. You called Fury and made it clear that this would be your last mission for the foreseeable future. Fury understood, and though his tone was brisk and professional, there was a note of respect in his voice. “We’ve got everything set up for you at the Compound.” Fury said. “And I’ll make sure the kids are well taken care of while you’re on the mission. Maria has come forward to take care of them."

With heavy hearts, you and Natasha packed your bags, the reality of leaving your children, even temporarily, weighing heavily on you. But you proceeded with a clear goal in mind, the knowledge that this step was necessary to ensure the safety and protection of the world, a world you wanted to safeguard for your children. Before you left, you gathered the children in the living room. Lila sat on the edge of the sofa, her expression wary, while Jacob and Mia sat close to their parents, their faces a mix of excitement and nervousness. Maria already waiting for them.

Natasha knelt in front of them, her voice calm and steady. “We’re leaving now.” she said, her heart aching as she looked into their eyes. “But we’ll be back soon. While we’re gone, you’ll be safe at the Compound, and you’ll have everything you need.” You reached out and gently touched Lila’s arm, your voice soft. “Lila, I know this is hard, but we will come back. We promised you, and we’re going to keep that promise.”

Lila didn’t respond immediately, her eyes focused on the floor. But when she finally looked up, there was a faint glimmer of something in her expression, something you couldn’t quite decipher. “Be careful, please.." Lila murmured, her voice barely audible.

Natasha smiled, her heart swelling with emotion. “We will.” she promised. Mia, always a bright light, hugged both Natasha and you tightly. “Don’t forget us!” she whispered earnestly. “Never.” you whispered back, your voice full of love. Jacob, who had been quiet until then, finally spoke up. “I’ll take care of them, mum.” he said seriously, his small face determined. “I’ll make sure they’re okay.” Natasha felt her heart swell with pride as she ran a hand through Jacob’s hair. “I know you will, buddy.” she said softly. “You’re so brave.”

After a final round of hugs, Natasha and you stood up, ready to go. You looked at your children, your family knowing that you were leaving behind what was most important to you. But you also knew that you would return. As you walked out the door, you glanced back one last time, your heart heavy but resolute. Lila stood in the doorway, her arms crossed, watching you with an unreadable expression. You wanted to run back, to tell her again how much you loved her, how much you would miss her, but you knew this was a moment Lila needed to process on her own.

Natasha and you got into the car, your hands finding each other as you drove away from the house. The upcoming mission was crucial, but equally important was the promise you had made to yourselves, to each other, and to your children. You would come back. And when you did, you would continue to fight for your family, no matter how difficult it became.

The mission briefing was straightforward but dangerous. A covert Hydra base had been discovered in the heart of the city, suspected of holding critical information about upcoming terrorist attacks. Natasha and you were assigned to infiltrate the base while Steve and Bruce took care of the outside world. On paper, it was simple, but both of you knew how quickly things could go wrong.

Natasha glanced over at you, her concern evident in the furrow of her brow. "We can do this. One last time." You met her gaze and forced yourself to smile confidently. "I’ve got your back, Nat. Always." Natasha shook her head, though the worry didn’t leave her eyes. "Just stay close. We go in, we go out. No unnecessary risks." You knew what she was really saying: Don’t be a hero. But that was easier said than done when it came to Natasha. You’d do anything to protect her, even if it meant putting yourself in danger.

The Quinjet landed on a rooftop a few blocks from the Hydra base. The city was always quiet, the only sounds were the distant hum of traffic and occasional gusts of wind. Natasha led the way, moving with the silent grace of a predator, and you followed closely behind her. You descended a fire escape and disappeared into the shadows as you approached the building. The Hydra base was hidden beneath an abandoned warehouse, a perfect cover in a city full of forgotten buildings. Natasha scanned the area, her sharp eyes catching the faint glow of surveillance cameras hidden in the corners. She signaled to you, and you nodded in understanding. You had to be quick and silent, any alarm would mean a swarm of armed Hydra agents descending upon you.

With her Widow’s Bite, Natasha disabled the cameras one by one, clearing a path to the entrance. Your heart pounded in your chest as you approached, the weight of the mission heavy on you. You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, that you were walking into a trap. But you pushed the thought aside and focused on the task at hand. You reached the entrance, a steel door with a biometric lock. Natasha pulled a small device from her belt, attached it to the lock, and watched as it began bypassing the security system. The seconds dragged on, each one filled with the suffocating silence of anticipation. Finally, the device beeped, and the door slid open with a soft hiss.

You slipped inside, the darkness of the corridor swallowing you whole. Natasha led the way, her senses on high alert as you navigated the labyrinthine interior of the base. The air was thick with tension, every step bringing you closer to the heart of the Hydra operation. You reached a large, dimly lit room filled with computer terminals and stacks of documents. Natasha’s eyes locked onto the central console, where a data drive was inserted. "This is it." she whispered.

Your grip on your weapon as you positioned yourself by the door. Natasha moved quickly, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she initiated the data transfer. The seconds ticked by, each one a small victory as the progress bar crept closer to completion. But just as the transfer was nearly finished, your worst fear came true. The door to the room burst open, and a group of Hydra agents stormed in with weapons raised. You reacted instinctively, firing a shot that took down the lead agent before he could pull the trigger. Chaos erupted in the room, bullets flying as the two of you fought for your lives.

"Nat, we have to fall back!" you shouted over the noise, your voice laced with desperation. But Natasha was focused, too focused, her eyes locked on the last remaining agent standing between you and the exit. She went in for the kill, but in that split second, everything went wrong. The agent, a hulking figure with a cruel grin, raised his weapon and aimed directly at Natasha. Time seemed to slow as you recognized the danger. Without thinking, you threw yourself in front of her, your body acting on pure instinct. The gun fired, the noise deafening in the enclosed space.

The sharp crack of gunfire echoed in Natasha’s ears, a sound she had heard countless times before, but never with such devastating clarity. It was as if the world had frozen, everything narrowing down to that one terrible moment as you threw yourself in front of the bullets meant for Natasha. The world around her dissolved into chaos. She barely registered what she was doing as she took down the last enemies, her body moving on autopilot, but her mind was solely focused on the woman lying in a growing pool of blood.

"Y/n!!" Natasha’s voice was a rough, tortured cry that echoed off the cold metal walls of the base. She dropped to her knees beside you, her hands trembling as they hovered over your body, unsure where to touch, where to press, where to begin mending what had been so horribly destroyed. Blood. So much blood. It stained your clothes, your skin, and Natasha’s hands as she finally pressed down on the gunshot wounds, trying to staunch the unrelenting flow. The blood was warm, sticky, seeping through Natasha’s fingers no matter how hard she pressed, and it filled her with a fear she had never known before.

"Why did you do that?!" Natasha’s voice quivered with a mix of anger and despair, her green eyes blazing as they met yours. "I told you to be careful! Why didn’t you listen to me!" Your breathing was shallow, each breath a painful struggle. Your face was pale, your eyes glassy as you looked up at Natasha, a gentle, sad smile playing on your lips. "I couldn’t… let him.." you whispered, your voice weak but resolute. "I had to protect you."

Natasha’s heart clenched painfully in her chest, a sob threatening to break free as she pressed harder on the wounds, desperately trying to stop the blood, trying to keep your life from slipping through her fingers. "You’re an idiot!" she choked out, her voice breaking as tears streamed down her cheeks, mixing with the blood on her hands. "You stupid idiot. You should have let-" She cut herself off, her throat closing up as the truth hit her like a sledgehammer. She had failed. She had failed to protect the woman she loved more than anything in this world.

Your hand, trembling and weak, reached to Natasha’s hands, "Don’t blame yourself.." you whispered, your voice barely a shadow of its former strength. "You couldn’t have known..Please, don’t blame yourself."

But Natasha couldn’t hear you, not over the deafening roar of her own guilt. She reached for her radio, her hands slick with blood as she brought the device to her lips. "I need a MedEvac now!" she called out, her voice breaking with desperation. "She’s been shot- two bullets to the chest, she’s losing too much blood!" She dropped the radio, her hands returning to your wounds, pressing down with all her might, even though she knew it wasn’t enough. She could feel your life slipping away, like sand through her fingers, and it was tearing her apart.

Your hand, weak but determined, found its way to your chest, pressing against one of the gunshot wounds. Your fingers came back bloody, and you stared at them, a strange sense of calm washing over you. "It’s..a lot.." you murmured, almost to yourself, your voice distant, as if you were already slipping away. "Don’t look." Natasha pleaded, her voice shaking as she gently took your hand and pulled it away from the wound. "Don’t look, just focus on me. Look at me, Y/n."

Your eyes flickered back to Natasha, your gaze softening as you saw the tear-streaked face of your wife. "Nat..it’s okay." you whispered, your voice growing weaker with every word. "I love you..I love our kids..Tell th-"

"Stop it." Natasha snapped, her voice hardening with a desperation that bordered on hysteria. "You’re going to tell them yourself. You’re going to be fine. We’re going to go home, and you’re going to see them. You’re going to hold them in your arms, and you’re going to be fine. Do you hear me? You’re going to be fine!" Your eyes grew heavy, the pain and exhaustion too much to fight against. But you could still hear Natasha’s voice, that beautiful, strong voice that had always made you feel safe.

Natasha had to keep you awake. She had to make you talk, keep you focused, keep you alive. "The Kids are waiting for us." Natasha began, her voice trembling but determined. "Mia..shes probably drawing on the walls, and lets Maria wipe it away.." Natasha continued, forcing a smile despite the tears streaming down her face. "She never listens when it comes to her art. And Jacob..he’s probably curled up in that old chair, reading another one of his books. He’s so thoughtful, so kind. Just like you"

Your lips twitched in the faintest hint of a smile, your eyelids fluttering as you struggled to stay awake. "Lila’s probably got her headphones on, blasting that awful music she’s into these days.." Natasha said, trying to keep her voice light even as her heart shattered with every passing second. "She thinks it’s cool, even though it drives us all crazy. But she’s strong, just like you. She’ll be okay."

You managed a weak chuckle, but it quickly turned into a wince of pain. Natasha’s grip on your hand tightened, her other hand still pressing desperately against your wound. "Natasha, I’m so..proud of them.. proud of you.."

"And I’m proud of you." Natasha whispered back, her voice cracking as she leaned closer, her forehead resting gently against yours. "You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, Y/n. You’re going to get through this. You have to." But despite her words, she could feel your life slipping away, your breaths becoming shallower, your skin growing colder. Panic clawed at her insides, a deep, primal fear that she had never felt before. "Stay with me!" she pleaded, her voice breaking. "Please, stay with me. I can’t lose you. I can’t do this without you!"

Your eyes opened one last time, meeting Natasha’s gaze with a softness that broke her heart. "I love you." you whispered, your voice so faint it was almost lost in the air. "I’m sorry..I couldn’t-"

"Please, no." she whispered, her voice choked with sobs as she held you close, her tears mixing with the blood that stained both of you. "Don’t leave me, Y/n. Please…" The world seemed to narrow down to the sound of Natasha's frantic breathing, the steady dripping of blood on the floor, and your weakening heartbeat that she felt under her trembling hands. The walls of the Hydra base seemed to close in around her, the oppressive silence only broken by the distant echoes of their previous fight.

But then, there was sudden movement, heavy footsteps echoed on the concrete floor, voices shouting commands. The door to the room flew open, and Natasha barely registered who it was until she heard Bruce's voice. "Natasha! Step aside, let me through!" Bruce's voice was firm, but there was an urgency in it that Natasha had never heard before.

Natasha didn't want to let you go, couldn't let you go but she forced herself to move just enough to allow Bruce to kneel beside you, his first-aid kit already in hand. His face was hardened with determination as he quickly examined your wounds. His eyes met Natasha's for a brief moment, filled with something she couldn't name and didn't want to name. "This doesn't look good.." Bruce muttered quietly as he pulled out an improvised bandage and pressed it firmly against the wounds to stop the blood flow. You groaned in pain, your body jerking under his hands.

"Stay with us, Y/n.." Bruce said, his voice deep and calm, though Natasha could hear the pressure beneath it. "I need you here, okay? I'll do everything I can, but you need to hold on." Steve appeared in the doorway, his faces serious and tense as he took in the situation. Steve acted quickly, his gaze hardening as he recognized the severity of your injuries. "We need to get her out of here, immediately." he said, his voice leaving no room for argument.

"Steve, be careful." Natasha warned, her voice laced with fear as she watched him kneel beside you. She knew what needed to be done, but the thought of you being moved, the pain it would cause you, made her stomach twist with anxiety. Bruce looked up at Steve, his face grave. "I've managed to slow the bleeding, but it's not enough. We need to get her to the Quinjet quickly, she doesn't have much time left."

Steve nodded, his jaw clenched as he carefully slipped his arms under your limp body. The moment he lifted you, your eyes shot open, and a blood-curdling scream escaped your throat, raw and filled with agony. Your hands clawed at Steve's arms, your fingers digging in as the pain shot through your body like fire.

"I know it hurts." Steve said, his voice strained as he tried to keep you calm. "But we have to move you. We have to get you to the jet." Natasha was immediately by your side, her hands reaching for yours, her voice soft and soothing as she tried to calm you. "I'm here, Malysh. I'm here. Hold on, okay? Focus on my voice. We're getting you out of here."

Your eyes were wide with pain, your breaths coming in short, gasping bursts as Steve carried you toward the exit. Natasha kept pace beside you, her heart breaking at every tortured sound that escaped your lips. "Think of the kids, Y/n." Natasha murmured, her voice trembling but determined. "Lila, Mia, and Jacob, they're waiting for us. We're going home to them. You just have to hold on a little longer."

Your grip on Natasha's hand tightened, your eyes finding hers as if drawing strength from her words. "I'm..I'm trying," you gasped, your voice barely audible, but Natasha could hear the desperation, the fear. "You're doing so well, baby.." Natasha whispered, her own voice breaking. "You're so strong. Just a little bit more, I promise. We're almost there."

The Quinjet came into view, the cargo door already open, and Bruce was shouting instructions to Sam, who was preparing the medical area for emergency treatment. Steve moved as quickly as he could, his face set in determination, while your blood soaked through his uniform. Natasha stayed close to you, her hand never leaving yours, her voice a steady stream of reassurance even as her own fear threatened to choke her. "We're almost there. Just a few more steps."

Your eyes fluttered, your strength fading fast as Steve carried you up the ramp into the jet. As soon as they were inside, Bruce was there, helping Steve to gently lay you on the medical bed. The moment your back touched the bed, you screamed again, your body convulsing with pain.

Bruce moved with controlled urgency, his hands flying over the medical equipment as the jet's engines roared to life. "We need to stabilize her." he said, more to himself than the others. He inserted an IV, pumping fluids into your body to counter the blood loss. "Her pulse is weak, Natasha, keep talking to her. Don't let her drift away."

Natasha nodded, her tears flowing freely now as she leaned over you, her lips close to your ear. "You're doing so well. I'm so proud of you. Keep your eyes on me, okay? Just look at me." Your eyes fluttered open, glassy with pain, but you managed to focus on Natasha, your lips trembling as you tried to speak. "I..love you.." you whispered, your voice so weak that Natasha had to strain to hear it.

"I love you too." Natasha whispered back, her heart breaking at the sight of your pale, bloodless face. "So much. You're going to be okay. You have to be okay." But even as she spoke, Natasha could see the life fading from your eyes, your body growing colder under her touch. And then, in a moment that would haunt Natasha forever, your eyes rolled back, and the heart monitor emitted a long, shrill beep.

"Y-Y/n?" Natasha's voice was a broken whisper, her hands shaking as she shook your lifeless body. "No, no, no..Bruce do something!" He was already moving, his face pale as he grabbed the defibrillator paddles. "We're losing her! Clear!" The shock jolted your body, but the heart monitor remained flat, its unbroken tone slicing through the air like a knife. Natasha's breath caught in her throat, her entire body filled with cold terror. "No! You can't leave me! You can't leave me!"

Bruce pressed the paddles to your chest again, his voice tight with concentration. "Clear!" Your body convulsed with the shock, but still nothing. Natasha felt something inside her break, her knees giving out as she clung to your hand, her tears falling onto your still, lifeless body. "Don't do this!" Natasha sobbed, her voice breaking. "Please..I can't lose you. I need you!"

Bruce was relentless, refusing to give up as he administered another shock. "Come on, Y/n!" he muttered through gritted teeth. "Come on." Ad then, like a miracle, there was a flicker on the monitor..a weak but present heartbeat. Natasha's breath caught, hope flooding her like a wave. Bruce immediately switched tactics, working quickly to stabilize you, his hands moving with a speed that only came from years of practice.

"She's back.." Bruce said, his voice trembling with relief but also with the realization of how fragile this life still was. "But she's not out of the woods yet. We need to get her to the MedBay immediately." The Quinjet accelerated to full speed, racing toward Avengers Compound. Natasha stayed by your side the entire time, her hand gripping yours so tightly her knuckles turned white. "You can't do this to me again, you hear me?" she whispered urgently, as tears continued to stream down her face. "Do you hear me, Y/n! You can't leave me."

Natasha held on to the faint pulse under her fingers, to the fragile heartbeat that was all that kept her world from completely shattering. The flight back to the Compound felt like an eternity, every second stretching out as Natasha watched Bruce work, her heart heavy as a stone in her chest. But she refused to let you go, refused to let you slip away again. She kept talking to you, whispering promises, clinging to the hope that somehow, someway, they would make it through this. The Quinjet landed with a jolt on the grounds of the Compound, the ramp lowering before the engines had fully powered down. Natasha didn't wait for the jet to come to a complete stop, she was on her feet immediately, running alongside the gurney where you lay, pale and motionless, as Bruce and a team of medics rushed you into the medical wing.

The blood seeping through the hastily applied bandages was a constant reminder of the bullets that had torn through your body. Natasha's hands were still stained with that blood, her mind fogged with fear and despair as she clung to the edge of the gurney, her eyes never leaving your face for a moment.

The medics burst through the doors of the medical wing, but in that moment, Natasha's breath caught. In the hallway, eyes wide with fear and horror, stood her children. Lila, Jacob, and Mia. They were supposed to be with Maria! Safe and far away from the nightmare that was unfolding. But there they were, huddled together, their faces pale with fear and confusion. They must have sensed that something was wrong, must have noticed the change in the air when the Quinjet landed.

“Mom!” called Lila, her voice cracking under the weight of fear and anger. “What happened?? Is Y/n okay??” Jacob clung Lilas arm, his face contorted with worry. “Why is there so much blood?” he asked, his voice trembling. “What happened to her?” Mia, held onto Lila's other arm, her big eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Natasha. “Why are there so many poeple?” she whispered, her voice small and full of fear. Natasha's heart broke at the sight of the Kids, standing there so vulnerable and scared. This was the last thing she wanted..that they had to see you like this, that they had to be exposed to this kind of fear. She wanted to protect them, to shield them from the harsh realities of the life she led, but there was no time to think, no time to find the right words.

The medics paused for a brief moment, a fleeting second, as they maneuvered the gurney through the door. In that instant, the Kids saw you, your ashen face, the blood-soaked bandages, the way your body lay motionless and lifeless. It was only a brief moment, but it was enough. Mia let out a small, sharp cry. She turns to Lila's to press her face into hers and Jacob's eyes widened, his grip on Lila's arm tightened until his knuckles turned white. Even Lila, who was trying so hard to be brave, took a step back, her face drained of all color.

“oh my god, what happened?!” Lila asked, her voice rising in panic. “Why does she look like that? What’s going on?” Natasha felt her throat tighten, her breath catching in her chest. She needed to be with you, needed to be by your side as the doctors fought for your life. But she couldn’t leave the kids like this, couldn’t just walk away without giving them some kind of explanation, some kind of comfort. She knelt in front of them, her hands reaching out to pull them close. “Listen to me.” she said, her voice trembling with the effort to stay calm. “Y/n..she's very badly hurt, but the doctors are going to do everything they can to help her. You need to stay with Maria now, okay? I have to be with her.”

Mia's tears spilled over, her little hands clutching at Natasha's suit. “But why did she get hurt?" Jacob was crying now too, silent tears streaming down his face as he shook his head. “I don’t want her to die, mum. I don’t want her to die..” Lila, her face pale and drawn, looked up at Natasha, her eyes a mixture of fear and anger. “She won't, will she?” she asked, her voice breaking. “Why did this even happen to her and not to you?”

The question hit Natasha like a physical blow, the guilt she had been trying to suppress rising up and choking her. How could she explain this? How could she make them understand that you had taken those bullets for them, that she had made the ultimate sacrifice because she believed they needed Natasha more? But there was no time. The medics began to move again, pushing the gurney through the doors and out of sight. Natasha’s heart twisted painfully as she looked at her children, their tear-streaked faces filled with confusion and fear.

“I promise I’ll explain everything.” Natasha whispered, her voice thick with tears. “But right now, I have to be with her. Please..please stay with Maria. I’ll come back as soon as I can.” She pulled back a little and looked directly at Lila, who was trying so hard to hold it together. “Lila.” she said, her voice firm but full of urgency, “I need you to be strong now. Your brother and sister are going to need you. I need you to take care of them while I’m with Y/n. Can you do that for me?”

Lila’s eyes widened, the weight of what Natasha was asking settling on her young shoulders. She hesitated, fear and uncertainty flashing in her eyes, but then she nodded, her jaw setting in determination. “I can do it.” she said, her voice steady despite the tears she was fighting back. “I’ll take care of them.” Natasha reached out, cupping her face with one hand, her thumb brushing away a stray tear. “Thank you." She whispered, her voice filled with gratitude and love. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I trust you, Lila. I need to know they’re safe with you.”

Lila nodded again, this time more decisively, and took Jacob and Mia’s hands, squeezing them reassuringly. “We’ll be okay, Mom. You go take care of Y/n.” Natasha swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. “I’ll come back as soon as I can.” she promised, pressing a kiss to each of their foreheads. “I love you all so much.” With that, she forced herself to turn away, even though every instinct screamed at her to stay with them, to hold them until the fear subsided. But she couldn’t. She had to be with you, had to be there while the doctors fought for your life. She hurried after the medics, her heart pounding in her chest as she rushed through the doors of the medical wing, leaving her children behind, their tearful eyes searing into her memory.

[fanfiction4sooya]

Sly fox, dumb bunny

To that one anon that requested this a few days ago, hope you like it sweetie! 💖💖💖

Tw: breeding, swearing, jealousy, possessiveness, unprotected sex, nipple play, G!P bada lee;

You and Bada became roommates when both went to SWF2, for your misery.

She was pretty, yes, but you personally found her insufferable on so many levels it was insane. She loved to bully, tease, and overall irritate you whenever she got the chance, always making some move on you and you hated it due to her fuckboy attitude and extreme laid back personality. You tried to switch rooms with any other girl but the answer was always the same: 'Bada doesn't allow any of us to switch with you, we have to obey her'.

"That annoying asshole" You angrily muttered, leaving the practice room when she arrived, slyly smirking at you.

"Where are you going?" She sprinted, catching up with you in a second given her big legs.

"Some place you are not" You drank your coffee, irritated at her presence as you pressed the elevetor button, you just wanted to get away from her.

She looked specially good in a sleeveless basketball jersey and baggy jeans, cap covering her eyes and sneakers. 'Fuckboy' You thought to yourself., entering the elevator.

"You know you can't runaway from me, I'm everywhere" She held the elevator's door, biting her lower lip. "Specially on your mind, little bunny" She raised her eyebrows and you fake vomited.

"Are you desperate because you can't pull any girls with those horrible pick up lines?" She shrugged, smiling. "I'll give you a tip" You said, getting closer to her as her amused eyes followed your moves. You looked up at her, touching the hand that held the door, taking it from there. "keep quiet, you are pretty when you aren't talking shit" You smiled as the doors closed on her dumbfounded face.

It was always like that, always teasing you in front of everyone, her eyes following you everywhere as you danced or actually did anything. She was undeniably hot, yes, but she pissed you off 24/7.

You were leaving the shower as she was leaning onto the kitchen table drinking water, using only a bra and grey sweatpants. You stopped on your tracks, she haven't noticed you only on your towel as her abs smoothly moved as she drank the liquid, your eyes roamed around to the front of her sweatpants, a very large bulge caught your attention.

"Found something you want?" her voice took you from your trance, making you slightly jump.

"jesus" You raised your hand to you chest, gulping.

"Oh, you found jesus?" She smiled, stepping closer to where you were.

"I..." You looked around. "I found out you've been drinking water straight from the house bottle" You tried to come up with an excuse. "And I don't know were you've been putting your lips so... you better stop that" You tried to sound demanding, but her abs and that huge thing kept distracting you.

"Oh, were you thinking about where my lips were?" She hid both hands on her pockets and you got beet red. "you are so obsessed with me" She teased and laughed. "Its okay, I'm obsessed over you too, bunny" She smiled, stepping a little bit further. "It's like you've hexed me, you know?" You rolled your eyes.

"If I knew how to hex people, why would I do it to you out of everyone I know?" She bit her lip, her relaxed posture maddening you. "You are unbelievably delusional, oh my god" You scoffed. "I'm going to get dressed and leave you here, please seek some help" You passed her, heat pooling between your legs as you walked away.

"Oh my god" You locked yourself in your bedroom, trying to catch your breath as your mind kept spinning around to that huge thing between her legs. "I need a girlfriend" You said to yourself, gulping.

Some days had passed and still couldn't shake that horny feeling off. To your surprise one of your sunbaes asked you out and you gladly accepted, thinking it would be great to distract you and of course, maybe you even get a girlfriend out of this.

"Going out?" Bada said, appearing right behind you as you put on your earrings to match with your flowy white dress.

"Not that is any of your business, but I have a date tonight" You stared at her through the mirror. Her nostrils slightly flared as she got a bit more serious than normal.

"Do I know the person?" She crossed her arms.

"Of course you do" You turned to her. "It's Noze" She scoffed.

"That less hot, less talented version of me?" She said and you rolled your eyes.

"You are so full of yourself, Bada" She locked her jaw, a heavy sigh leaving her lips and your turned back to the mirror. She got closer to your back, her voice low and serious.

"I'm older than you" Her breath fanned over your neck as she spoke. "You should address me with more respect" That dangerous tone made your cunt pulse inside your panties, but she didn't need to know that, of course.

"As if I had any respect for you" Your voice sounded small and unsure, but of course she didn't pay any attention to your tone. That was the last straw for her, as she shoved you face first on the mirror, not hard enough to hurt but enough to startle you.

Her body pressed against yours felt hot and heavy, her cock pressed against your butt as she trapped you there.

"You like talking back don't you, little bunny?" She growled on your ear and you whimpered.

"let go of me" Again, unsure.

"You know what? I should let you go to that fucking date" She grinded against you and you lightly did it back, your self control completely leaving your body. "But before that I should fuck your brains out, leave you dripping with my cum, breed you full" You whimpered, closing your eyes.

"Shut up" You breathed out thickly swallowing.

"You would love that, I know" She pressed harder and you shivered, backing against her hard cock. It felt even bigger now as you literally felt it grow. "Tell me you'd like that" She kissed your neck, both hands on the mirror as you were trapped there.

You felt yourself go insane, your wetness seeping through your panties as she pulled down one of the straps of your dress, kissing your shoulder. You moaned as one of your hands tried to palm her cock over her pants and she rolled her eyes when you managed to do it.

"Oh so now the little bunny wants to play?" She teased you, roaming her hands on your breasts over the dress, pulling it down to reveal your tits. She moaned staring at the mirror and you shut your eyes.

Turning you around she roughly kissed you, her hard on poking your clothed tummy. Her tongue swirled around yours and you moaned against her, your arms hugging her neck as she swiftly lift you up, your legs around her waist. She kept kissing you, pressing your back against the wall.

She was everything you've ever dreamed of: tall, strong, had a huge dick and kissed amazingly; oh you hated her.

"Fuck me" You said against her lips, whimpering. And of course she teased you about it.

"No please?" She said, laying with you on the carpet between your legs. You didn't question her on why her choice was the floor and not the bed, but you were definitely in no position to question anything. "I don't know if you can take me bunny" She cockily said and you rolled you eyes.

In a burst of strength you flipped her over, her back now touching the floor with you on top, straddling her waist and slowly grinding over her cock.

"Who do you think you are?" You scoffed, already pulling it out of her pants and boxers and as expected, it was huge. Heavy and hung, her balls full and with little to no hair. 'Even her cock is pretty, fuck' You thought to yourself.

"I told you" She smiled up at you, sitting down to lick on of your nipples, hugging your waist. You moaned, licking your lips as you pushed her down again, spitting on her big cock to lubricate it.

It was huge, yes, but mama didn't raise no bitch.

Pushing your panties to the side you immediately grazed the tip of her cock on your wet slit and she hissed, her eyes dark with lust. Laying back with her hands behind her head she smirked at you struggling to fully take her, your eyebrows furrowed in concentration as you slowly sunk on her whole length. She moaned when your stretched cunt fully did it, touching her hips with yours. You supported your weight on her chest, lightly scratching her over the shirt.

"Fuck bunny" She breathed out, you didn't wait and started to ride her, her cock reaching places you had neer felt before.

It started out slow and steady as you whimpered, already shaking. She grabbed your ass lifting you up to fully slam you back on her cock, amazed by how well you took her.

You bounced on her cock, your tits jumping up and down as you stared at her beautiful face, locking eyes with her. Fucking hell, that woman knew how to keep eye contact like no one else. You smirked at her awe expression, clenching hard when she started thrusting up alongside with pulling you down, even harder.

"fuck bunny, you are creaming on my dick" She furrowed her eyebrows, her addams apple beautifully exposed as she threw her head back and you leaned forward to kiss it, then her neck. She pulled your face with one hand to lick your lips and her other hand held your hips to slam into you hard.

"I'm gonna cum-oh my fucking god" You moaned on her lips, throwing your head back as she took one of your nipples to her mouth to suck it.

"I'm gonna cum in your pretty hole too" Her voice sounded more steady, but by the way her dick throbbed inside you, you felt how desperate she was as well. "I'm gonna breed you so well bunny, fuck" She kissed your neck, her hips faltering as her hot seed painted your insides. So much you fell forward, knees on the carpet and your hips up, completely pulsing on her dick.

She didn't took it out just yet, shallowing fucking your spent hole and you softly moaned, pushing yourself up so your faces would align as you looked into her dark eyes.

"You won't tire me out in a long time bunny, don't even think about leaving for now" she fucked you a bit harder, kissing your lips as you moaned.

"Too much..." Your voice came out hoarse.

"Shh, it's okay" She said, using your hole to cum one more time, throbbing hard inside you.

She pulled out, her cock wet and red, her cum oozing out of you made you whimper as it fell on her abs. She hissed, staring at your glossy eyes, smirking.

"still thinking about going on that date?" She sat down with you on her lap, kissing your neck.

"You are so annoying" You rolled your eyes when she sucked a hickey on your skin. "Don't leave marks on me" you weakly said, scratching her arms.

"I have to let her know I was here, bunny" She smiled against your skin.

"Why do you keep calling me bunny?" You lightly slapped her arm and she laughed, hugging your waist.

"You remind me of that Zootopia bunny, that bossy and easily irritated one" You allowed yourself to laugh too.

"well if I'm the bunny, you are that fox" She shrugged, pointing at her then at you.

"Sly fox, dumb bunny" You playfully rolled your eyes.

"You are insufferable" She bit your lower lip, laying your back on the carpet again.

"Oh, that I am" She laid on her stomach, kissing your thigh. "and I know you prefer me with my mouth shut so let me get my mouth busy, little bunny"

Next thing you knew she was shoving her tongue inside you, licking her own cum mixed with yours.