Silent Grace| Chapter xiv: Love Lies
Ship: Min Yoongi x Fem reader
au/genre: Mafia!au
rating: M
wc: 3.3k
Chapter warnings: TW: anxiety mentions. Pregnancy mentions. Just a lot of uncomfortable conversations. Yoongi is starting to drink heavily.
summary: Yoongi isn't taking care of himself properly and is displaying some signs of depression and irrational behavior. It's mild in this chapter but please take care of yourselves. MOM FLASHBACK (finally right?) She will be getting a few more soon. Just a lot of uncomfortable conversations.
tagss: @shadowyjellyfishfest @baechugff @maunosorioh @shelylamc @princess-sunshyn @scuzmunkie @wanceu @coldcoffee2121 @maunosorioh @massivelyfullenthusiast @bangtan-famiglia-net
Inside a dimly lit room, the smell of strong cigars and hushed whispers permeated the atmosphere as everyone waited for Yoongi to sit at the head of the long, marble table. A chandelier loomed, casting wavering shadows over his stony face and his black suit, hair slicked back just above his shoulders, only a single strain hanging over his eyebrow, and a cigar hanging from his mouth accentuating his power and authority.
"You're not here for the scenery, so stop gawking and sit the hell down," commanded Yoongi, his voice echoing around the room. The men quickly took their places, their bodies tense in the pleather chairs as they did their best to avoid his piercing gaze. They already knew that for the past few weeks, Yoongi had been on edge. He has been stricter, meaner, and colder.
Ever since Min did his bullshit, Yoongi has been His fingers drummed an irritated rhythm on the table as he surveyed each one of them. Internally, they began to quake—from fear, anticipation, or maybe both—they couldn't tell.
"Been a tough week, boys, hasn't it?" he started, a sarcastic smile playing on his lips. "Losses left and right, seventy-thousand out from the casino, and don't even get me started on that botched shipment down at the docks."
His glare landed on the men responsible, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Now, care to explain why I'm hearing about these screw-ups from everyone but you?"
Crippling silence filled the room. One of them nervously tried to stammer out an excuse, his eyes darting from Yoongi to Seokjin and Jungkook then to the rich textured carpet underneath them. Yoongi interrupted him with a swift bang on the table, silencing the weakened protest.
"Excuses, excuses..." he spat, teeth gritted. "You know what, I'm sick and tired of it — tired of the incompetence, tired of the idiocy. How hard is it to do your job and report back to me without making a mess of it? Now is not the time to start pissing me off. I do not have the patience for it."
The harsh light from the chandelier threw Yoongi's furious expression into sharp relief. His fury was palpable, a wave crashing across the room, leaving a biting chill in its wake.
"From now on, any additional failures will not only result in a punishment for you but for the entire family," he declared, deadly calm. Every word dripped with poison. He meant every syllable. "If one of us fails, we all fail. You don't want to imagine how severe the consequences will be."
With that parting shot, he stood. The room snapped to attention, bodies rigid and faces pale. Yoongi left with Jungkook and Seokjin swiftly, their presence leaving behind a palpable tension and gnawing fear that had everyone exchanging worried glances as the door closed.
“Yoongi” Seokjin said as they headed down the hall.
“Yeah, Hyung?” Yoongi said calmer, more timid than just mere minutes ago.
Jungkook could feel the anxiety pouring from Yoongi, something he had never seen in him.
“Don’t you think it’s time for a break? Maybe we should grab a bite to eat on the way home.” Seokjin simply said.
“I’m not all that hungry. If you two would like to eat, then yes we can stop.” Yoongi said finally turning to face the two men.
“You should take care of yourself. You need to.” Jungkook said full of worry for the man he loved and looked up to as a brother.
“I’ll be okay. I’ll rest at home.”
But he didn’t.
You waited up for him all night. Not once did he step into the room after he came in to kiss you. He told you he’d be only an hour but he wasn’t.
He spent the whole night in his office displaying his true feelings. He cried, screamed, and kicked. He felt as if he was on a downward spiral. He didn’t feel safe. He didn’t have his security. He didn’t have his parents or his brothers. Of course, he knew that he had you, Seokjin, and Jungkook but he didn’t want them right now. He wanted nothing more than to be in his mother's arms. Hearing her tell him that everything would be okay while he cried. He wanted to be with his brothers. Seeing how their lives were. If they got married. If they had kids. He wished he and Hoseok were still friends. Just be normal. Or at least how it used to be.
He wished his father didn’t break him the way he did. He wished he could go back to a time when he looked up to his father. The world when in his eyes, he could do no wrong. The world made since then.
Now he doesn’t know which way to go. Who to even talk to?
~~~~~~~~~~
You stood in your shared bathroom, staring at the pregnancy test in your hand. Two lines, pink and clear, stared back at you. A positive result. You couldn't believe it. You had been feeling nauseous and tired for weeks, but you had brushed it off as stress from leaving your job and all the shit that’s been going on. Now you were faced with the truth.
Your mind raced as you tried to process the information. You wanted this. At least you thought you did. You just knew that right now was probably the worst time to even THINK about bringing a baby into this mess. Besides, the idea of being a mother seemed overwhelming and terrifying. Especially when you are in love with someone who has a lot of people out to get him and the ones he loves.
Especially when one of them is his father.
You took a deep breath and tried to calm down. You felt your heart beat out of your chest with worry. You knew Yoongi would do everything he could to make this as easy as possible but you also knew that now was not the best time. He wasn’t ready. You knew you had to figure out what to do. You couldn't just ignore the pregnancy. Whatever you decide to do, you need to do it as soon as possible.
You put the pregnancy test down and ran your fingers through your hair.
At-home pregnancy tests aren’t always 100% and could easily be misread.
You decided you should go to go to the store and grab a few more.
You throw the trash and the test into the trash once you hear your bedroom door open.
“Yn, are you okay?” Yoongi asked knocking on the door softly before opening the door.
You straightened up and nodded, forcing a smile on your face.
“Of course baby. I was just freshening up. Are you okay? You haven’t been to bed yet..” You asked looking at the tired look that painted his face. Yoongi nodded, his voice still hoarse from all the crying, screaming, and drinking he had done all night. “I’m fine baby. I’m going to nap pretty soon.”
You sighed and nodded “ I’m going to run to the store. Do you need anything?” You asked washing your hands.
Yoongi shook his head.
“No, I’m okay. What are you going to the store for? Maybe I can get someone to grab it for you while we’re out.” Yoongi said, pulling you to him with a smile.
You swore you were going to melt in his hands. His hugs always made things feel better. Like there was not one worry in the world. You did the same for him. Everything made sense.
If only that could be the case for you two.
You knew he would be an amazing father.
“No, it’s okay baby. I don’t mind. I’m going to order it on my phone and just pick it up.” You said looking up at him.
Yoongi nodded.
“Okay, baby. Do you want me to drive you there? I don’t mind.” Yoongi said.
You nodded.
“Okay, baby. Let me just grab my purse.” You smiled jogging to the room.
That’s when Yoongi noticed the bathroom light on, prompting him to go to turn it off. His eyes trailed to the bathroom trash. He noticed the pregnancy test and its wrappers. His mind started to spiral but he didn’t want to be obvious.
“Are you ready baby?” You asked grabbing his hand. He smiles and nods.
“Yeah, let me grab my keys. Wait for me downstairs.”
You nodded and kissed his cheek before heading out of the room.
Yoongi's eyes dropped down back down to the trash.
After you went downstairs, Yoongi stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a few minutes, Yoongi met you downstairs. His arms wrapped around your waist, his hands comfortably resting on your stomach which instantly sent shivers down your spine. You moved from his hold and turned to him. “Are you okay?” You asked.
“Are you okay?” he asked. His question to your question made you…uneasy.
“Of course. I’m fine. Why?” you asked.
“I’m just a little worried. It’s been a little over a week and we haven’t heard anything yet about the results. Have you gotten anything?” Yoongi asked.
“N-no. I haven’t heard anything yet..” you stuttered holding onto your purse.
Something is telling Yoongi that you already know the answer but he didn’t want to press you nor did he want you to think he was angry. He just nodded.
“Okay. Just when you get the results, tell me. As soon as you get them.” He said sternly.
You nodded but he pulled you closer to him and lifted your chin, kissing your lips.
Yoongi looked at you, holding your waist and his eyes started to water. You opened your mouth to say something but Yoongi shook his head.
“I’m going to protect you and our child if there is one. You don’t need to worry about that. Just please…don’t start hiding from me,” he started, his voice shaking softly “Be honest with me..are you pregnant?”
Your heart fell to your stomach and your hands started to sweat. Tears started to swell in your eyes as he continued to look at you with the most loving look and gently rubbed your chin. He knew the answer, quite frankly, he knew the answer days ago. And he knew the hospital had already sent them to you. Jungkook was able to get into the system and email him the results. He instructed Jungkook not to read them, he knew he was already invading your privacy. He didn’t want anyone else to.
“Come into my office.”
Yoongi’s eyes turned dark as he lowered his hands and gripped your wrist softly. He led you to his office which caught Seokjin off guard as he walked in.
“Yoongi” he mumbled to himself. “Please don’t do anything stupid.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You’ve known for quite some time haven’t you?” Yoongi asked walking around his desk before sitting in his chair. His eyes never left yours. You were terrified. You didn’t think he would hurt you…
But you also didn’t think he’d be a mob boss either.
Your silence answered everything he needed to know.
Yoongi's piercing gaze bore into you, his words like icy daggers slicing through your composure. "Blossom, my love," he drawled, his voice dripping with sadness and worry, "I have eyes everywhere. Everywhere you go, every move you make, I know. Why would you think you could hide this from me for long? Why didn’t you just tell me?"
A bitter chuckle escaped Yoongi's lips as he crossed his legs and settled back in his chair revealing a painful sign, propping his elbow on the desk and resting his face in his palm. "Although I must admit, you're not particularly skilled at the art of deception," he continued, his eyes narrowing. "Your attempts to hide things from me are as clumsy as they are transparent. It’s quite cute. I can admire it."
Your heart pounded in your chest, your breath coming in shallow gasps. You had known that Yoongi was powerful, but the extent of his surveillance had never dawned on you until this moment. The way he can switch his demeanor is concerning for you.
You choked on your words. “Eyes everywhere? W-what does that even mean?”
“It means, anything I want to know? I will find it out whether or not you tell me or I find out on my own” Yoongi said blankly.
“Did you get the test results before me? Why would-”
“Why would you keep your pregnancy away from me?” Yoongi spat.
If you could make yourself disappear, you would. You felt as if you were getting scolded by a principal and you hated it.
He was your BOYFRIEND, not your father.
“I wasn’t keeping it from you, Yoongi” you started but he interrupted you,
“You weren’t telling me either. That’s my child unless it’s not-” You jumped up,
“DON’T-” You took a deep breath trying to control your emotions from spiraling. “Don’t say nonsense Yoongi. I haven’t been with anyone else and you know that”
Yoongi stood to his feet and leaned closer to you, “Then why the fuck did you keep this from me?”
“You’re going through a lot right now. I just didn’t think you could handle one more thing. A life-changing thing. It’s not like we can just throw this away. It’s a fucking baby. A fucking baby in your world of madness. I was trying to be considerate” You said watching him as he walked around his desk and stood over you.
“Considerate? Don’t fucking humor me, Yn.” He chuckled. “No one is considerate in this world, not to me.”
Your face softened. You could see the pain written on his face. He was hurt and you could understand why.
“Yoongi…I didn’t do it to be spiteful or to keep it from you. I just thought it would have been best if I waited.” You said looking up at him. “You have a lot on your plate, I just didn’t think you needed anything else. To be fair I haven’t known that long…”
Yoongi shook his head.
“Although, I can appreciate your efforts,” he starts, “Now is not the time to try to keep things from me. Not now. Not ever.” Yoongi finished. “This would be the worst time in the world.” He whispered.
You looked at him and adverted your gaze from him.
“I can’t handle any more secrets, Blossom…” Yoongi’s voice cracked. “Not anymore.”
Your heart broke into pieces. Seeing an otherwise strong man break like this destroyed you.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you Yoongi…you know that wasn’t my intention. But you don’t get to make comments like that as if I’d ever be with someone else…” You said equally as hurt as he felt right now. Yoongi nodded, disgusted with his comments towards you.
“You’re right…and I’m sorry. I just can’t figure out why you wouldn’t tell me. I know what you said but…this is important to me.” Yoongi said softly. “You are important to me, we are important to me”
You look at him and held his hand, “I know. You are just as important to me. I want the best for us but now we have a baby…”
“You can’t tell anyone,” Yoongi said cutting you from your thoughts.
“I guess I could understand but why not?”
“Because no one can know you’re pregnant. No one.”
Yoongi was serious and you could tell. He refused to let Namjoon or his father even get a hint of an idea that you were pregnant.
As if he didn’t have a better reason, he had to avoid his father at all costs.
“Not even Seokjin, Kai and Jungkook? What have they done?” You asked.
“Especially them. I know they won’t say anything but I don’t even want them to even have an idea.” Yoongi admitted. “Namjoon pulled the rug from right underneath me, I cannot give anyone else another chance to do it.”
You were honestly disappointed by this. This is probably the most normal your life is going to feel.
“You don’t sound too happy about this..” you said sounding defeated. Yoongi pulled you into his arms shaking his head.
“I’m happy. No, I’m very happy. I’m just nervous and I don’t want anyone to know just yet not until I can make sure I can trust them. I have a family to protect now.”
Hearing Yoongi talk like this gave you butterflies. Yoongi would be damned if his father fucked this up for him. You looked up at him with a broken smile and tears filling your eyes.
“I’m scared, Yoongi.” You whispered.
“I am too. I am terrified but we can do this. I believe in us.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over the next few days, Yoongi was on your ass about everything.
There was nowhere you could go that he didn't know.
It was as if he had a sixth sense, an innate awareness of your whereabouts.
"Blossom, why is it taking you so long to answer your phone?" He inquired, his voice laced with a mixture of concern and impatience.”Do I need to get you another one?”
You were deep asleep in your cozy bed, stirred slightly at the sound of your phone ringing. Groaning softly, you fumbled around for the device, your eyes still heavy with slumber.
"Baby...I was taking a nap. I’m just tired. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to ignore you." you mumbled, voice hoarse with sleep.
Yoongi exhaled a sigh of relief as he heard your voice, chuckling at how cute you sounded. The tension that had been coiling around his heart slowly began to unwind.
"I'm sorry, baby. I just needed to hear your voice." Yoongi said, his voice finally relaxed.
You smiled drowsily, heart melting at the sound of Yoongi's gentle words. You knew that he was constantly worried about you, and although at times it felt too much, you couldn't help but feel touched by his unwavering devotion.
"I love you, Yoongi," you whispered, “I’m okay” your voice soft and tender.
"I love you too, Blossom," Yoongi replied, his heart soaring at the sound of your confession.
In that moment, as you exchanged sweet nothings over the phone, the world around him faded away. All that mattered was the love you shared, a love that defied the boundaries of time and space.
“I’m only a few minutes away,” Yoongi said. “Okay, baby. I’ll wait up for you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yoongi’s mother hasn’t had much to say to Min since everything happened. She has finally lost everything. She lost her family. Her sons and she could hardly stand to even see her husband. She was honestly a shell of a woman.
Her family was everything to her, especially since she didn’t have it growing up.
~~~~~~
“Seo-Yeon”
She looked up at her mother with big beautiful eyes and the brightest smile the world had ever seen.
Seo-yeon loved her mother. More than anything, only after her father disappeared. She spent most of her time with her mother since her father left the family to pursue another one a few years ago.
She grew up as a daddy’s girl at heart. Seo-yeon was very close with her mother but her father was everything to her.
He would take her to the park, take her for ice cream, he would even buy her random gifts he would see as he would head home from work. He loved his family but he couldn’t help falling for a coworker.
What seemed normal one day quickly went to shit.
Now it’s just her and her mother. Trying to live a normal life.
“Are you ready to go to your father’s?” Seo-yeon’s mother asked. Seo-yeon’s smile fell as she slowly shook her head. “No” she mumbled.
Seo-yeon’s mother sighed, dropped her bag, and sat next to her, wrapping her arm around the small girl. “He misses you”
“He doesn’t” Seo-yeon shook her head.
“He does. He loves you so much. It’s just harder for him since he has a new baby. You are a big sister, you always wanted to be one.” her mother tried to cheer her up.
Seo-yeon just nodded and suppressed her feelings.
Like she always did
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