#I explained my choices for this on Twitter so go check that out if you’re curious!!

[mycofaerie]

okay y’all- here is my Vacuo redesign for Ruby!!

[finelinens]

i’m going to be speaking abstractly about grooming under the cut, so please scroll past this post if you’re not in a place where you can read that kind of discussion. taking care of yourself is more important than anything a random artist on the internet has to say.

the tl;dr is that i believe all of us on social media must remind ourselves that we are simply individuals using the internet. it’s not our jobs to provide press releases explaining how we feel about each new bit of news in great detail. i also believe that all of us owe compassion to each other, even when we find ourselves in strong disagreement. i don’t think either of these statements is controversial! but i think writing about it is worth my time.

read on under the cut if you wish~

this has been on my mind a lot lately so i think maybe i would benefit from expressing it. let me start with this: in an ideal world, we would all be able to trust and believe everyone who claims they’ve been hurt by someone else. we’d be able to hear them, trust them, and help them achieve the justice they want. but we don’t live in an ideal world. we live in a world where people behave irrationally and illogically. trusting every individual you meet, or even just the ones who you believe would be honest with you, can often result in having that trust thrown back in your face when you realize they were dishonest. if much of the world exists in this grey area muddied by moral inconsistencies and judgement, how are we meant to approach any kind of conflict?

are people to be trusted? are people to be distrusted? are people to be regarded with absolute neutrality free of any judgement? i don’t know. i don’t think any of us know, really. many people on twitter, for example, argue for unwavering trust in anyone who comes forward with claims that they were hurt by someone else. simultaneously, these same people struggle to trust their friends who feel differently and believe that unwavering trust is often a misguided choice. i hope that in the future we can all seek more of a middle ground in these kinds of situations; i’d like to see more people being willing to hear out accusers, while saving their thoughts of judgement for the point at which we have all of the information possible. i believe this is the most rational way to approach these nuanced and complicated situations. it’s my belief that we need to abide by “innocent until proven guilty” always, even when it’s hard. we are all owed that much.

as much as i’d love for people to handle these delicate situations with the tact they deserve, i know the internet doesn’t generally behave that way. it is much easier, and more attention-grabbing, to speak in extremes. but i actively try to resist this practice of “speak first think later” so that i can at least feel better about my own ethics and emotions in any given situation. when dream’s sexual misconduct and grooming allegations came out, my initial response was denial. as with many of us, i’m sure, i felt as if i knew dream relatively well. how could someone who seemed so normal do something so abhorrent? i saw the words grooming and pedophilia thrown around, and immediately shut down. i deleted my tweets about my denial, looked at all of the information available, and went offline for a while. i sat with my thoughts. i logged on occasionally to check in on friends and share words of comfort, but for the most part i allowed myself to process my emotions without feeling a need to rush to a conclusion.

i feel that many of us are pushed into feeling as if we need to immediately write a press release every time a new controversy arises. there’s this fear of our peers, even our friends, judging us and thinking we’re morally bad people if we don’t respond the “right” way instantly. what if they think i’m a bad person? will they write a thread? will i receive a callout post? will i lose all of my friends? will my peers think poorly of me? so much of our socialization online is rooted in this paranoia and fear of a looming boogeyman who could ruin your life at the push of a button. so we write our threads. we write our notes app statements. we make it clear to our peers that, “hey, i’m not one of the bad guys. i’m good. i’m your ally. you can trust me, because i’m on your side. the right side.” as if that guarantees us any safety from their changing minds and shifting moral goalposts in the future.

i have cited this study about social media discourse an unbelievable number of times, but i learn something new with each read. there are many studies that have been done in recent years analyzing the way that we all use social media as a tool for self-expression and developing our own social and political ideologies, and i think it’s a wonderful thing. this quote in particular is relevant to what i’m discussing now:

“[…] polarization may be attributable to multiple factors, rather than solely to social media or digital online environments themselves. However, there is little disagreement with the notion that public discourse on social media platforms is particularly prone to conflict and outrage. That is, moral outrage in the digital age is common and often especially intense. Moreover, the prevalence of such outrage is particularly concerning given research showing that outrage occurring on social media is often quickly realized but imprecisely pointed at diverse potential targets.”

admittedly, i have not looked for any research regarding this topic (although i am excited to do so once i’m done writing this), but i believe that there is one major motivator for the palpable increase in social media discourse in recent years: to put it simply, the world sucks. for the better part of the last decade, we’ve all been reckoning with the fact that the united states of america is quickly spiraling into radical fascist-leaning politics where many of us are having our rights stripped away, police brutality and militarization is increasing globally, and to top it all off we entered a worldwide pandemic three years ago and many of us are still feeling the impacts. we are all exhausted, frustrated, and angry. we need to expel that energy and those emotions somehow. so many of us chose the internet. go on social media, find someone who you think is annoying, then search for a way to morally justify bullying them until they delete their account. catharsis has been attained. anger has been decreased. yet another successful therapy session!

let’s summarize: trust no one (because they’re bad), but trust everyone (as long as they’re good), and don’t allow anyone to return fire (because only i am allowed catharsis). understand everything (unless it’s bad), but empathize with no one (unless they’re good). the inconsistencies and hypocrisy don’t matter, because many of us are not truly motivated by morals and ethics as we would all like to believe. we are motivated by emotions. a desire to feel accepted, understood, and powerful. no amount of genuine conversation with the goal of finding common ground will help, because often our goals will not be met in the end. still, even with all of this said, we owe each other empathy and compassion. because we are people, and all people are deserving of compassion no matter what.

so, no, i did not “pretend to support victims” when i privately talked with friends about how shocked and upset i was when dream’s sexual misconduct and grooming allegations came out. no, i did not “encourage people to prevent victims from coming forward” when i privately expressed my initial denial. and, no, i did not “abandon [my] morals” when i chose to continue casually supporting dream by watching his videos and drawing fanart. i heard the accuser out, i read all of the information available, and i took in all of the tertiary information that has come out since then. i have applied my own personal morals to this situation and am comfortable with my decision, and i am also comfortable with the fact that i may change my mind later. i am showing myself compassion, the same way i showed my friends compassion when they weren’t sure what to think. i expressed empathy to them and made sure they all knew that i was someone with whom they could speak comfortably, because i wouldn’t judge them based on how they feel about such a complicated situation which is often colored by our own personal experiences with older people online.

i know that the internet is not a place where we should expect great empathy and compassion from strangers, but i don’t think it’s out of line to ask that we all make an effort to show this empathy and compassion to our own friends. be honest with each other. be there for each other. if you’re unsure of how a friend feels and want to understand them better, try to open up an honest conversation. it might not work out, but just give it a try so that you can know you tried to encourage this kind of compassionate and emotionally honest environment on social media. we live in a complicated, morally-grey, and often really shitty world. the least we can do is be kind to each other whenever we can, especially online where we can all feel so isolated.

i’ve never posted something serious like this before so if you read this far, thanks! clearly i’ve been thinking about it a lot and i’m happy i expressed myself. i don’t know if i’ll answer asks about this if i receive any, but i do hope that i prompted at least a few of you to contemplate how we approach controversy on social media. just more people being aware of what we do and the ramifications is enough, to me. thank you for reading!

[0rbularb0ys]

Life With Levael: First Date

Took a bit longer than I wanted it to, but here’s the next chapter! Once again, a special thanks to @sacred-dragonair/ @brushbrulee on twitter for being my beta reader!

Ever since Renyr had asked him out on a date, Levael had been anxiously waiting for the moment he would see the dark elf again. He’d agonized over what clothes he would wear, whether or not he should use any perfumes, if it would be appropriate to bring flowers on a first date, and more. Mother and Father had told him to always put his best foot forward after all, but he didn’t want to come on too strong. He’d just have to try and act casual and wing it.

Looking at his reflection in the cafe’s window, Levael saw a mortal staring back at him, and he sighed. He felt bad lying about his demon nature, but what other option did he really have? Mortals didn’t much care for demons, to say the least. The war between demons and… well, everyone else may have been millennia upon millennia upon millennia ago, but in all that time the demons were living apart from mortals for their own safety. Down in the seven spheres of the underworld, right where the angels trapped them, they kept to themselves even after they discovered a way to reach the world of mortals. No one had ever asked for the demons’ side of the story. Not when the angels had already written the history books. So demonkind was largely condemned to being the villains of history, and if Levael was to live in the mortal world then he had no choice but to hide his true nature.

And yet, even if Levael had no choice in the matter, he felt bad about lying. It’s hardly the foundation of a healthy relationship after all. Maybe Renyr would understand once it was explained to him. He would have to cross his fingers on that one.

“Hey!” Called a voice, and Levael whipped his head about to see his date hurrying down the sidewalk and up to him. “Sorry, bus had to take a detour.” Renyr asked, breathing heavier than usual. “Were you waiting long?”

Unaware of just how long he had been waiting, Levael checked his wristwatch. The dark elven man had only arrived a bit under ten minutes after their agreed upon meeting time, but in his excitement for their date the disguised demon had arrived about twenty minutes early. “Oh no, not long.” Levael said, smiling to his date. 

Smiling, Renyr held out his arm for Levael to hold, which the demon did with a smile and a blush. “Get whatever you want, I’m insisting on paying.” He said as the pair joined the line of customers.

“Oh no, that’s not-”

“I insist.” Renyr’s voice was friendly, but firm enough to make clear that this was non-negotiable. 

“Well, if you’re going to insist so strongly, I suppose it would be rude to refuse.” The pregnant demon relented.

After getting their drinks, the two men took a seat by the window. The people of the city were coming and going just on the other side of the glass as they sipped their tea and coffee.

 “So,” Renyr said, putting his coffee cup down, “You said you worked nights yesterday. What do you do for a living?”

“I work as a singer at this uptown lounge, Velours Rouge.” Levael said. He was careful in the way he handled his tea, very particular and proper. Centuries of etiquette lessons from his parents had deeply ingrained the habit into him, and he had to consciously tell himself to behave more casually. 

“Sounds swanky.” Renyr said with a low whistle. “Swanky and expensive.”

“Oh yes. It’s the sort of place you don’t really visit unless you have money or you’re looking to impress someone.”

“Hopefully ‘swanky’ means ‘pays well’.”

“Mmm, I make enough to live comfortably. I’m not swimming in money, and I certainly can’t afford any sports cars. But my apartment is nice, I have money to buy what I need and give myself some treats, and my bank account is healthy.”

“I see that’s not the only healthy thing.” The dark elf smiled, looking at the shifting of the infants in his date’s womb. “What about the money you make from surrogacy?”

Levael gulped. Of course he would ask that. Obviously he couldn’t say that he was a demon built for breeding, so what explanation would work? “Not a lot, truth be told. I work privately, and my clients are typically those who can’t afford to go through an agency. They’re very expensive, you know.”

“So you do it almost as a charity?”

“I’ve never really thought of it that way. I suppose you could say so, but I’ve always just believed that everyone should get a chance to have a family. Well, if they’re suitable for the role, that is. But some people have trouble conceiving, and they don’t have the money that large agencies would ask of them. So that’s where I come in.”

Nodding, Renyr sipped his coffee. “That’s very generous of you. Pregnancy’s a lot to go through, and for not much money? Damn.” He placed his cup down and looked again at the other man’s visibly shifting belly. “So, how far along are you?”

Oh crap. 

For as often as Levael was asked this question, he was never sure what the answer should be. Mortals gestate their children for so much less time than demons, what number should he give to not raise any suspicion? He certainly couldn’t tell him the truth.

Thank you for asking, potential boyfriend. I’m currently nine months pregnant and I have approximately six months left. After that I have to go out and get pregnant again so I can help my race survive.

Yeah, there was no way THAT wouldn’t raise questions.

He would just have to rely on his old fallback non-answer and hope Renyr would be too polite to ask for further details. “I have a hereditary condition which lengthens the duration of my pregnancies, and induction doesn’t work on me. I would prefer not to talk about it.”

Renyr’s eyes widened. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ask anything too personal.” He said quickly, desperately trying to avoid the blowback of whatever landmine he’d stepped on. The sincerity of his apology was evident on his face and in his eyes.

He didn’t need to be tortured over thinking he made some horrible mistake, so Levael shook his head and offered a smile. “It’s fine. Goodness knows I get asked this question too much to be offended by it anymore. But enough about me,” He said, placing his teacup on his belly and leaning back in his seat, caressing his bump, “tell me about you. What do you do for work?”

It took a second for Renyr to register the question, his eyes lingering on his date’s tummy. “Hm? Oh!” He snapped out of his trance and refocused on Levael, clearing his throat. “I work as a freelance graphic designer. I’ve been doing it since college, which means about a century and a half or so. I’m no millionaire or anything, but I live comfortably and I like to think that I’m fairly well-known in the industry by this point. At least here in Bohemia. That’s what I like to tell myself.”

“Trying to live off your art, huh?”

With a deep sigh, the sort that suggested this subject had been an issue for a while, Renyr nodded. “Yep. Nobody’s noticed my original stuff yet, so this’ll have to do.”

“How does someone get noticed in the world of art anyway?”

The elven man made a noise of frustration in the back of his throat. “For the most part? Have enough money to aim the spotlight on your work. Or have a name that’s already known beforehand. Or hire someone else to make it for you.” He grumbled, running his fingers through his hair. “Me, I can only rent out space at the gallery.”

“I knew that the gallery gave space to local artists, but what’s the process of your work being on display?”

“Easy. Talk to one of the curators, and you tell them what it is you want to put on display. The price is different based on what it is, like paintings are cheaper than statues, smaller statues are cheaper than larger statues, and so on. You figure out how much it’d cost for you to keep your piece up in the gallery for however many days, you pay, and boom. Your art’s on display for the amount of days you paid for.”

“I see. I hope their prices are at least reasonable, if people buying their recognition is truly a problem."

"It's fair, I'd say." Renyr looked into his coffee cup and smiled. "The gallery's actually pretty cool for smaller artists. They've got a ton of spaces in the back that you can rent out to work on your stuff. Painting, sculpting, making really weird and elaborate pieces, they'll let you make whatever once you're there. And if you can't finish your piece in one session, they'll hang onto it until you come back at no extra cost."

"So you rent out a space for a week and your work stays there waiting for you?

Renyr shook his head. "No, you typically rent by the hour. I'll usually rent for about four or five hours, for instance. Then when my time's up, they clean up after me and it's someone else's turn. You can pay for extra time, but renting for a week? You'd need some serious cash to do that."

Levael nodded, brushing a lock of hair behind his ear. "I see. It sounds like they really care about giving lesser known artists a chance to shine." 

"Yeah." Renyr took a sip of his coffee and looked at his date with a smile. "Okay, back to you. Where are you from?"

Hoping to stall for time, Levael took a few drawn-out sips of his tea. Getting-to-know-you type questions were the worst. As usual, he’d have to fall back on old lies. “My family moved around a lot. I’ve lived in so many places, I don’t think I can say I’m really from anywhere.”

“I get that. Which place would you say was most important, though? Or which one did you enjoy living in the most?”

Well shit, Levael thought to himself. What now? “Oh, it was so long ago, I can barely even remember.” He said with a laugh he dearly hoped didn’t sound forced. “It was this little town in the far north with the sort of name you’d never be able to pronounce and could never hope to spell on your own. I’ve certainly forgotten, anyway. I really only remember it because I always loved watching the northern lights, or the Light River, as the giants call it.”

“I’ve always wanted to see the northern lights.” Renyr said, smiling at the image of lights across the sky. “I’m from the Undercity myself, so as you can imagine the sky is kind of a big deal for me.”

“Yes, the Undercity is the home of dark elves, isn’t it? What’s it like?” Levael asked as he removed his cup of tea from his belly and leaned leaning forward, resting his chin in his hands.

Judging by Renyr’s frown, however, he wasn’t as interested in the topic as his date. “You know, I never liked the term ‘dark elf’. It makes it sound like surface elves are the norm and we’re the aberration.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend,” Levael said, moving to place his hand on Renyr’s forearm before thinking better of it, “I wasn’t aware that was a touchy subject.”

Renyr just sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly unsure what to say. “I mean, I think it might just be a me thing? I dunno. Whatever, it’s fine. You’re hardly the first person to refer to us that way.” He took a deep breath and slumped back in his seat. “So, the Undercity. When I was growing up, we were still sealed underground, right? Thanks to the surface elves,” He grumbled, “And we didn’t have any of… of this.” He said, gesturing around the cafe, gesturing to the city on the other side of their window. “No electricity, no fresh air, no indoor plumbing… Basically just imagine how cavemen lived and you’ve got a pretty accurate idea.”

“Oh dear. But that’s not the case anymore, right? I mean, it’s been almost two centuries since the Undercity was unsealed.”

Renyr pursed his lips and shook his head. “But that’s not very long at all for an elf. Imagine living for centuries knowing only the underground. No sky, no sunshine or starlight. Just darkness, cold stone, and stagnant air. All you know of what’s above ground is that there are elves who are like you but different and they have it better, and their ancestors are the reason you’re stuck underground because your ancestors wanted to avoid conflict with orcs. And you only know that because you heard it from your grandparents, who only know it because they heard it from their grandparents, stretching back to who knows how long.”

“Then one day, everything opens up. After a life of never seeing the sun aside from the occasional crack in the cave ceiling and having every reason to think you never will, it’s suddenly just there. And not only that, but there’s also more people than just those surface elves and orcs your grandparents told you about. There’s dwarves, giants, vampires, werewolves, faeries, all of them speaking languages you can’t understand. And as if that wasn’t enough, it turns out that while you and yours were painting on walls and fighting off cave monsters and trying to grow food in a place with no sunlight, they were all developing electricity, automobiles, the radio, the television, freakin’ airplanes.”

The disguised demon was listening with rapt attention, fascinated to learn how the dark elves live. “That sounds like a lot to take in all at once.”

“It was. It still is. And that’s why it’s taking so long for us to catch up to the rest of the world.”

“Because they’re scared.”

“Exactly. I guess the dwarves see something of themselves in us, what with how we both come from underground, because they’ve been helping renovate the Undercity to catch up with the modern world. Been quite a while since I’ve been back there, but I understand we have plumbing now. They’re taking it slow, giving everyone time to adjust. But that’s just another way of saying it’s going to be a good long while until we’ve caught up with everyone else.”

“I see. Maybe I’ll visit at some point.”

“Ehh, I wouldn’t really recommend it.”

“Because it’s so low-tech?”

“No, because you’re too tall for the cave ceilings.” Renyr said with a charming, lopsided grin.

Levael chuckled despite how lame the joke was. “That was terrible.”

“Then why are you laughing?”

The disguised demon snorted and laughed a little harder, but was interrupted when he felt a sharp kick inside his womb. With a small yelp, his hands flew to his belly, rubbing the spot he’d been attacked. “Excuse you, we’re having a conversation here.” He said to his swollen middle. “If my laughter is bothering you, then I’m afraid you’ll just have to suck it up.” Patting his belly, he looked up and caught Renyr looking rather intently at his belly, his eyes betraying fascination with a hunger simmering just beneath the surface. Levael felt himself beginning to blush at the attention he was prompting from his date. “Would you like to feel?”

Renyr snapped his head up and looked at Levael, his eyes a touch wider than the elven man probably would have preferred. “Uh, yeah sure!” He placed his hands on his date’s belly, his touch gentle. Softly, as though going out of his way not to inconvenience the pregnant man, he rubbed the bump offered to him. “It’s soft, but firm too.” 

“Pregnant bellies tend to be like that.” Levael said with a small giggle. 

A sudden kick made Renyr jump and pull his hands away in surprise. “Whoa! Did you feel that? I mean, you must have since it’s your belly they’re in, but still! They’re strong little guys.” He said, replacing his hands on his date’s belly and gently patting the spot where the kick had been aimed.

“Yeah… I’m proud of them.” Levael cooed, stroking the underside of his bump.

The two men stayed that way for a time, with Renyr rubbing and patting the pregnant tummy before him and Levael enjoying the attention. The demon was blushing slightly as he watched the other man’s fascination with his swollen womb and trying desperately to shoo away thoughts of having his belly rubbed while they were both shirtless. 

I can’t think like that, this is only our first date!

Eventually, Renyr managed to pull his attention away from the magnificent belly in front of him to look at the clock. "Oh hell, is that the time already?" He groaned, clearly not wanting the date to end just yet. "Sorry Levi, I gotta get going. I've got a work meeting in a little bit and I need to go home and get ready." Reluctantly, he pulled his hands away from Levael’s pregnant swell, leaving the disguised demon quietly wishing he could follow his date and continue receiving belly pats and rubs.

"Ah, it's fine. This was hardly going to be an all day affair, after all.” Levael said with a reassuring wave of his hand. On the inside, though, he was a bit disappointed that their date had to end already. The clock said it had been a couple of hours, but it felt like time had gone by much faster than that. Still, he didn’t want to make Renyr feel bad when the matter was out of his control, so he put on a smile instead. “I had fun today.”

Renyr returned Levael’s smile, reaching into his pocket as he did. “I did too. Here, let me just…” He snatched a napkin and quickly wrote something on it, passing it to his date with a wink that sent a shiver down the demon’s spine and to the tip of his tail, causing it to spasm as it was wrapped around his leg, hidden down the leg of his pants. Looking at the napkin, he saw that Renyr had given him his phone number. Levael felt himself begin to heat up as his heart raced, further riling up the little ones inside of him.

Be still, my kicking babies.

“Could I borrow that pen for a second?” Levael asked, one hand desperately gripping his chair to try and keep himself centered. Renyr nodded and handed him the pen. Levael quickly grabbed a napkin and scribbled his own number on it, then passed it back to his date. “You’ll have to excuse my handwriting. I don’t think anyone writes well on a napkin.” He said with a small, nervous laugh, trying to ignore how his voice had cracked at the last second. 

“You’re pretty cute, you know that?” Renyr asked.

At this, Levael became so flustered that he almost completely lost the ability to speak, only just managing to squeak out a small “Thank you.”

The elven man picked up his coffee cup along with Levael’s teacup. “I’ll take care of these on my way out. I’ll call you!” He said over his shoulder as he walked away, leaving behind a flustered and frozen demon in disguise. 

When Levael finally, FINALLY snapped out of his stupor, the biggest, dumbest smile crossed his face as he snatched up the napkin Renyr had written his number on. Holding it like some kind of precious treasure, he went as fast as he could (or as fast as the bus would drive) back to his apartment, at which point he jumped onto his bed, clutched his pillow, and began squealing with excitement like a giddy teenage girl. He kept looking back at the napkin as if trying to reaffirm that he wasn’t dreaming, and he really had gotten the phone number of a cute guy. Every time he saw the number again, he’d start shrieking into his pillow with delight all over again. His heart was fluttering away, and it felt as though there was an entire swarm of butterflies in his stomach. That or the babies were kicking again, but he couldn’t care less. The rest of the world melted away and the pregnant man was alone. Suddenly he was an infatuated teenager all over again, on the phone with his bestie and squealing with delight over fantasies of being asked to prom by his crush. Though instead of prom, it was being asked out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. The sort with candles setting the mood, musicians providing a romantic ambiance, Renyr in a dapper suit and Levael dressed in a beautiful gown, all eyes in the building on the most beautiful couple as they took their seats…

It was a while before Levael was able to calm himself down, excited as he was. He just couldn’t stop thinking about Renyr. Thinking back on what he had been told about the gallery, he realized that he had no idea how long it had been since he’d last sat down and painted something. Suddenly he began to miss the feeling of brush against canvas and the satisfaction of transforming something blank and empty into something colorful and beautiful. He missed the pride he felt in knowing he had given shape to something only he could dream up. Ever since he’d gotten a job as a lounge singer, his creative pursuits had become limited to music (and knitting, but that was beside the point). Levael loved singing and playing instruments just fine, but he had put aside visual art for too long. Then and there, Levael made a promise to himself that he would visit the gallery and finally paint.

[the-chronicles-of-a-bookworm]

I posted 567 times in 2022

That's 566 more posts than 2021!

45 posts created (8%)

522 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@so-scarlet-it-was-maroon

@vespersposts

@that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you

@asunflowerana

@colorseeingchick

I tagged 250 of my posts in 2022

#hannah's dairy entry - 36 posts

#kuroko no basket - 31 posts

#jjk - 30 posts

#knb - 29 posts

#jujutsu kaisen - 24 posts

#hannah talks - 17 posts

#akashi seijuro - 14 posts

#tumblr games - 13 posts

#aomine daiki - 13 posts

#nanami kento - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#that balcony opposite my building with millions of different kinds of flowers basically filling up the place

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

ask: aloha, im new, an i was wondering uh..why dont you like JK rowling if she made harry putter *potter (sorry it doeint *doesint* let me backspace) but you like harry potter? sorry i dont mean to be rude or offend im actually really curious and would love to know <3 (if u dont wanna anzer *answer tat is fine lol) (IM SO SORRY FOR THE MISSSPELLS)

Hi! Firstly, welcome to my blog and the spelling mistakes are totally fine, I've faced them before. 😁😁 Now, I support the LGBTQ+ community and believe that someone's sexuality or gender does not matter in society. I was exposed to the terms 'gay' and 'lesbian' at a young age, and my parents explained them to me. However, they told me that homosexuality is a 'disgusting' act. I did not want to believe them, though. I always thought that if a boy liked another boy, or if a girl liked another girl, it was totally fine. It's like in fairytales, it's true love. Except, there are two princesses/princes. J.K. Rowling is, in very short words, a TERF. Why? It started on Twitter where JKR 'accidentally liked' a transphobic tweet. The tweet was something about trans men being 'men in dresses'. People all around the world started throwing hate comments at JKR saying things like "You are Voldemort" and stuff like that. Why people did not get a reply to the hate comments was because JKR stayed off of Twitter, as she says on her website. J.K. Rowling liked another post, yet again, on Twitter, which caused another outbreak of hate comments. But soon, JKR started to openly show her support for a person called Maya Forstater, a British tax advisor who wasn't renewed because of her transphobic posts. On her website, she lists the reasons why she is worried about trans activism, or something and you can check it out here.

I hope this did not bore you to death 😐, but, I needed to show just how much I do not support JKR. (I thought a long answer would show that.)

22 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

#4

Imagine you’re at a party. You’re single. However, three guys you like are present. (They’re also hopelessly in love with you.) The games are:

Spin the bottle (kiss)

7 minutes in heaven (make-out)

truth or dare (oral)

You’re forced to participate in all three games. The games are rigged by your and his friends. Each game is a different guy. Pretend you have a choice. Gojo, Aomine, and Kento which act of sin?

Nonnie! I absolutely LOVED this question!! Okie, let's get started.

Nanami Kento - Truth or Dare. I choose him for this cause I think he'll be really understanding and wouldn't tease me too much about an embarrassing answer. And for dares, I don't think he'll make me do something to make me uncomfortable. dare me to kiss you pls .

I just found out that truth or dare is oral. Like, the, THE oral. and since my blog is SFW, i'm not going in detail. But my answer remains the same. People above 18 years of age probably understood what I meant by THE oral.

Gojo Satoru - 7 minutes in heaven. I honestly couldn't choose between this and Spin the Bottle. I chose 7 minutes in heaven cause I think he'll be much more experienced in this kind of stuff, you know. Sure, I'll have to endure some of his teasing but the reward i'm getting is good enough to make up for it.

Aomine Daiki - Spin the Bottle! For a boy who spends his whole life playing basketball, I don't think he has any experience being in relationships. I actually wanted him for 7 minutes in heaven, but most of that 7 minutes will just be one kiss and us being blushing, stuttering idiots. So yeah, spin the bottle.

This was really cute and I LOVED answering this. To be honest, I wanted all three of them for all the three *ahem* activities. But, that is not possible.

33 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

#3

Aomine Daiki x Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend, Aomine, was away for a practise match between some other school. You, however, wanted cuddles. Pairing: Aomine Daiki x GN! Reader Warnings: None, just fluff Words: 538 a/n: I started writing this at 2:20 p.m. This is supposed to be gn!reader but I visualized a fem!reader when writing this. This is proofread but please give feedback. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s cold.”, you whispered to yourself, silently hoping that Aomine could somehow hear you. Maybe the wind can carry your whispers to him. It was snowing slightly. Not enough for a blizzard or anything. Just little specks of white on the roads and pavements. As if the wind had sent your message to your boyfriend, you heard the keys jingling and a rough, deep voice calling out “Baby, I’m home!”

You run over to Aomine, jumping up and latching your arms around his neck, giving him soft, quick kisses on his cheek and down to his jaw.

“Daiki! Finally, you’re home. I’ve been waiting for so long and I want to cuddle.”, you whined.

You gave him your pouty face, slowly blinking your eyes and giving your boyfriend more kisses, trailing down his neck. Aomine has still not let you down, enjoying your kisses. After what seemed like eternity, your boyfriend placed you on the ground.

“C’mere baby. We can cuddle here.” Aomine said, guiding your red loveseat.

Aomine laid down first and opened his arms, gesturing you to come and cuddle up next to him.

His eyes drifted to your feet, and he smirked slightly.

“Oh! You’re stealing my socks too, now? Can’t get enough of me babe?”

“Shut up, Daiki.”, you said, slightly slapping his chest, “I missed you, and your socks are big and warm.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.”, he took you arms and started kissing your palm before he pressed his lips onto yours.

Aomine’s kisses varied from soft to passionate and rough. Right now, he was softly kissing you, lightly licking your bottom lip for permission to enter and you happily complied. It spread sparks of pleasure around your body. A euphoric feeling filling you body. Aomine’s lips on yours was the only thing you registered, completely blocking out anything else that was happening around you.

Aomine slowly pulled away, both of you slightly panting. You grinned before whispering his name, repeatedly.

“I love you so much, Daiki. And you’re right, I can never get enough of you”, you whispered.

His fierce blue eyes were oozing with warmth and love as he stared at you.

“I love you too, Y/N.”, Aomine whispered, pecking your lips.

“But I love you more.”, you teased, smirking slightly.

“No, I love you more.”

“In your dreams, Daiki.”

“That should be my line.”

“Huh? I couldn’t hear you.”, you giggled.

Aomine shifted so that he could hover over you and started tickling you. Your giggles and laughs filled the room. Even Aomine started laughing out loud. His warm laugh reached your ears and you giggled more.

“The only one who can love more is me!” you boyfriend said.

“Fine, fine! I surrender! Please stop!” you shouted, still laughing.

Aomine pulled his hand away and returned to your original position. You put your head in the crook of his neck before you felt your eyes slowly drooping.

You gave him a small kiss on his neck before you quiet snores filled the room. The last thing you registered was Aomine hugging you more tightly and a kiss on the back of you head.

(You can ask to be tagged in my posts)

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148 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

#2

Akashi Seijuro x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Akashi Seijuro x Fem!Reader Warnings: my writing, tooth-rotting fluff Word count: 548 a/n: OOC Akashi I think. I am just writing this for myself but I'm just sharing it here for those who are willing to read stupid fics too. U can also request for something if you have anything on ur mind. just check the rules in my blog before requesting something. The ending is also very stupid cause i didn't know what to write. P.S.- I overdid it with the tags. ignore them... if u want to.

You were sitting on Akashi’s lap. One of his arms was wrapped around your waist, holding you tightly whilst the other handheld the book you were reading together, open. As he reached out to turn the page, your quiet voice called out.

“No, don’t turn it yet, I’m not done.”

“Well, how can I ignore your requests, fair maiden?”, your boyfriend said, before putting his hand back in its original place, around your waist.

“So cheesy, Sei. We should read something else other than medieval romance, then.”, you teased.

A warm, deep, velvety chuckle filled the room. Akashi’s hand slithers up your shirt and rests on your stomach.

“You’re right, darling. As much as I love reading, some books influence me. Nevertheless, I’m not taking back what I said before.

You giggled and turned to look at him. He set the book on the side table before turning his attention back to you.

He looks beautiful wearing his reading glasses. It was rectangular and was perched on his nose delicately. Akashi was looking at you from above his glasses. You reached your hand up, and took it off, setting it on the side table, above the book, carefully. Then, brought your face closer to his and lightly brushed your lips on his cheeks.

“You’re so pretty, you know that?”, you asked before proceeding to kiss his nose.

“Shouldn’t I say that to you, my love? You’re beautiful.” Akashi teased, pushing a strand of your hair that escaped its hair tie prison, behind your ear.

“Gorgeous” Kiss on the crown of you head.

“Attractive” Kiss on the top of your head.

“Appealing” Kiss on your forehead.

“Alluring” Kiss on the bridge of your nose.

“Bewitching” Kiss on your nose.

“irresistible” Kiss on one of your cheeks.

“heavenly” Kiss on your other cheek.

“pulchritudinous”

Akashi pressed his lips onto your, your cheeks dusted with red from what he said you were. You could feel Akashi smirking against your lips. He won the teasing game, fair and square. Just as he was pulling away, you pecked his lips slightly before pulling back yourself.

“I don’t know how you know all those words, especially the last one. I thought you were telling me that I’m like fruit punch or something. Or fruit pulp. Or studious. Does studious make sense, though? Maybe fruit juice who studies well. A smart fruit juice. A smart fruit! What’s a smart fruit, though? Maybe apples, cause they’re better than doctors.”

You boyfriend let a laugh he has been trying to hold back for so long. His beautiful laugh broke you out of your own thoughts.

“Huh? What happened, babe?”

“Nothing, darling. You were rambling.”

“Well,”, you said, smiling a little, “If it is annoying, I’ll just go.”

“No, no, love! I meant to say that its adorable.”

You laughed before wrapping your arms around his body and snuggling your face into the crook of Akashi’s neck.

“I love you.”

“I know,”, Akashi said softly, “I love you too.”

See the full post

271 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

boyfriend! nagi who presses lazy morning kisses to your face whenever he wakes up earlier than you (which is rare) "wake up princess, i want some kisses too y'know"

boyfriend! nagi who relishes in the kisses you press to his cheeks and his cutey patootie nose and his beautiful, closed eyelids and finally a small, barely there, peck to his lips.

boyfriend! nagi, who loves sleeping, but loves you more, so he sacrifices it to come with you to the grocery store at 3:00 in the morning to get that exact same ice cream you asked for before going to sleep.

boyfriend! nagi who loves it when you ramble about your day while massaging hair. "use your nails too baby. love the feelin' of your nails s'much"

boyfriend! nagi who comes with you to see you get your nails done and keeps telling you to get sharper, longer tips cause he loves how it looks on you. "do those long ones you had last week, baby. the ones that feel good when you play with my hair."

boyfriend! nagi who gives you his hoodies to wear before a match. "you can keep this, babe. i have another one anyways."

boyfriend! nagi who loves the good luck kiss you give him before a match and when you wave to him from the stands when during a match.

boyfriend! nagi who loves you so much, that he'll brag to all his friends about you. "yeah, that's my girl. my baby."

this was written for @/garoujo who loves nagi seishiro and blue lock. I barely read 10 chapters of the manga, but I have enough characterization after reading emmie's (@/garoujo) fics. credits to @firefly-graphics for the pretty dividers and @vespersposts who supported me all throughout! you can ask to be tagged through ask or dms.

388 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[prisonboard4]

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[ventihonklightice]

Clingy || Wilbur Soot

word count: 3.5k

~~~

Y/N had been lounging around the flat all day as her boyfriend filmed videos with his fellow Minecraft friends. Wilbur had currently been recording with Tommy and Quackity, another one of their wild Minecraft mod videos. She knew her love was busy and had his responsibilities with his own videos alongside the ones made with his friends, but she had been scrolling through Twitter and saw that he had just gotten verified. There was no way he knew about the news as he had been busy all day doing his job.

A smile grew on her face as she rushed to his bedroom door to share the great news, however she paused as she heard the nature of his current discussion with his friends.

“- but she’s been good. We’ve been really good,” Y/N smiled at his words, seemingly knowing it was about her. That smile quickly disappeared at the words her boyfriend was about to spew. “Just, she’s been kind of needy and clingy or something,” Wilbur shook his head not fully understanding his own words, looking at the wall behind his monitor too lost in his thoughts. He couldn’t quite understand his own thoughts half of the time, especially today as all he has done was played Minecraft. Slowly, the hate he has been receiving has been catching up to him, forcing him into this pit he’d never thought he’d be in which added to the stress that fueled his words. “Like she thinks she always has to be with me. Right now even, she’s at the flat.” Wilbur ran his fingers through his messy brown hair as he proceeded to explain his relationship. “I love her, I do, but I can’t even be with her right now so I don’t understand why she has to be here,” he confessed, mind clouded with tiredness masked by the wine he downed in an attempt to calm his nerves.

Y/N furrowed her brows leaning forward to listen further. “Well, she loves you, so what do you expect her to do? Not want to be with you?” She heard an American accent, likely belonging to Quackity.

“I-I don’t know. It’s just- I’m not used to this. It’s been a while since I’ve seriously been with a girl like this before. I just need space, but she wants to be around me constantly. It’s annoying.” The anger, the annoyance, and the frustration were all evident in his voice, making Y/N second guess a lot of her choices the past few days. She looked down at her hands, the mustard sleeves reaching past her palms belonging to the man behind the door she leaned on.

She closed her eyes in an attempt to push back her tears before she walked away, not being able to listen to him any further. Her eyes began to water more and more as bothering him was the very last thing she had ever wished to do. She sat on the couch before pulling the jumper off of her body, folding it neatly in her hands before pulling on her shoes.

Fanning her face quickly to reduce any possible puffiness or redness, Y/N timidly knocked on the door to Wilbur’s room. “Hold on guys,” he spoke to his friends, muting himself on discord. “Yeah?” She heard his deep voice call from the other side, taking it as her cue to push the door open. His hair fluffed about as he turned to face her. “Hey what’s up?” He asked with a soft smile.

“I uh think I’m gonna head home, got an early shift tomorrow and all,” she spoke softly while avoiding his gaze. Y/N wasn’t one to lie so she felt guilty for doing so but she didn’t know what else to do.

He furrowed his brows, confused at her words. She almost always stays the night, especially when she works early because he lives closer to her job.

“You sure? You’re more than welcome to stay the night. Y-You always do,” he muttered with slight concern in his words as he took his headset off.

She shook her head lightly, “nah it’s alright. Gotta water the plants,“ Y/N fiddled with the door handle as her other hand traced the sweater, knowing full well she doesn’t have any plants.

“Alright, I’ll walk you out,” he stood up, adjusting the chair in order to do so. Y/N reached out to him, his jumper resting in her hand, “where’d you like me to put this?”

He stood up, increasingly getting confused at her actions because he knew that she loved wearing his clothes and stealing them any chance she got. “I-I’ll um, just toss it on the bed,” he pointed to the made bed, slipping on his shoes to walk her out.

She felt his form loom over her as he walked with her out of the flat and to her car. They walked in silence, uncharacteristically. Wilburs’s hands were stuffed in the pockets of his pants lost in his thoughts as he heard her car alarm He walked to the driver’s side, lost in his thoughts while he opened the door for her.

She approached the door, getting ready to sit in the driver’s seat before turning to Wilbur to bid goodbye. He leaned down to kiss her, standard for all of their farewells, but she turned her head at the last second, his lips crashing onto her cheek. His heart dropped at the odd situation he was placed in, wondering why this was happening.

“I-I’ll see you later,” she smiled softly before sitting down and preparing to drive.

He could let her go like this. He had to know if things were good, okay even. Before he shut the door, he leaned down a bit to get closer to her. “Is everything okay? You seem a bit off, darling.”

“Y-yeah I’m just really tired,” she chuckled humorlessly, placing a hand on her forehead. “Sorry, it’s just been a weird day.”

“If you’re that tired you could stay here,” his voice practically pleaded, assuring her once more that she always had a place there.

“I-I’ll be fine, I promise.” Her words were soft along with her eyes, but she just wanted to give him what he desired; space.

“You sure?” He asked once more, extremely concerned, but what answer was he really expecting? Y/N nodded her head, “positive.”

“Alright, text me when you get home,” he leaned back, preparing to shut the door for her. She nodded her head, pushing her keys into the ignition. “I love you,” he spoke sincerely, bending down so that she’d be able to see him better once more. There was an emotion in YN’s eyes that he couldn’t recognize, but the smile on her face was sad. “I-you too, I’ll see you later,” she fiddled with her keys before meeting his gaze.

His heart shattered at the words. You too? What the hell is that suppose to mean?

He gave a tight smile before shutting the door for her. You too, the words echoed in his mind as he began walking back to the front door, pausing his steps on the pavement to watch her pull out of the driveway. He sighed before turning back to his path home. Upon returning, the place felt dimmer without her presence and he quickly took note of that.

Letting out a huge sigh, he plopped down at his desk, unmuting himself on Discord. “Sorry bout that, I’m back. J-Just walking Y/N out,” he spoke, taking the only opportunity his friends quieted down to speak.

“Wilbur!” Tommy yelled as the rest of the VC, which now had Niki, Jack and Fundy, errupted in chaos. “W-What? What the fuck happened?”

“Dude you got verified on Twitter,” Quackity shouted. His eyes went wide, opening the light blue app to see if it was true. Sure enough, a small check mark emphasized his name. He beamed at the sight of it, rushing to make a tweet about how grateful he was.

He went back to his feed, noticing that Y/N had made a tweet about ten or so minutes prior.

y/n✨| @yourusername

so proud of my favorite boy getting verified <3 love you @WilburSoot !!

His heart clenched at the tweet, being drawn back to the events that occurred moments beforehand. He liked and retweeted it, watching his fans swoon at the couple’s interaction without knowing what was happening behind closed doors, before getting back to his friends being completely distracted by thoughts on the girl he loves.

~~~

Y/N never texted him to tell him that she was home. She woke up late that morning seeing a few texts from him about twitter, how his stream went and so on.

As she looked at the time on her phone, realizing the lie she told him about working early and chose not to answer quite yet.

She spent the rest of her day around the house, cleaning, cooking or watching TV. She wasn’t in any mood to go on social media, not wanting to interact with Wilbur quite yet. Y/N sighed thinking about yesterday, thinking that it would be a better idea to just give him some space.

And so she did, for several days before Wilbur’s worry consumed him.

He sat on Discord with his friends, days after his last interaction with his girlfriend. “It’s just weird because she’s never like this. She always calls or texts me whenever she gets the chance regardless of whether or not I ask,” he expressed to his friends as they were fucking around on their own Minecraft world. He wasn’t even paying attention to what he was doing in the game, just aimlessly pressing buttons and moving his mouse as he thought of Y/N.

Tommy chuckled shortly, “now look whos being needy.”

“Shut up Tommy,” Wilbur explained, running a hand across his chin, fingertips gracing his incredibly overgrown stubble. “Look I’m just saying,” the blond furthered, “there’s no need for you to say she’s clingy or whatever when your freaking out over a text! Like you saw her less than what, two, three ago?”

Wilbur shook his head, fuming now, “Oh my god, shut the fuck up Tommy! How would you, a literal child, know anything about what’s going on? You’ve barely hit puberty!” His outburst caused his friends to quiet down, them not being used to anger being directed in such a way.

“Wilbur,” Tommy started once again, becoming more serious, “I know you. You worrying over a few short days almost disproves everything you said the other day. I think you don’t know how to handle affection well, not that she’s clingy or whatever.” Hearing Tommy acting serious and not childish for this one second made something snap within Wilbur, knowing that the child was right.

He sighed, “I-I’m sorry for snapping at you. Everything is happening at once in my life right now and Y/N not talking to me has me worried. This isn’t what’s normal between us. It’s strange.”

“But isn’t this what you wanted? She isn’t being as ‘needy’ now. You got your wish, didn’t you?” George chimed in, hoping to help even though his own experiences with relationships hasn’t always been the best.

“Yeah, and I fucking hate it, I don’t know why I even said that. I don’t mean it. I love when she’s around, I hate when she isn’t,” Wilbur went on, his thoughts focusing on the good memories he has with his girlfriend.

“Be careful what you wish for,” Dream spoke ominously, feeling as if now was the most appropriate time to speak.

“I-I’m gonna call her,” the distressed twenty year old expressed, whipping out his phone to go to her number. As the phone rang, he became more and more nervous.

“What if she got in an accident? Or someone kidnapped her or something?”He rushed before him and his friends heard “please leave a message for 3-“

“Wilbur, she’s probably fine. She probably had a long day at work or something,” Niki spoke, hoping to add a small but of optimism to the situation.

“Yeah but she would’ve told me that. She would’ve called me to rant about her day, and tell me how much she wanted to see me, but she didn’t.” He leaned back in his chair, getting more and more stressed out over this.

“I-I think I’m gonna head to her flat.”

~~~

The drive was long as his anxiety slowly but surely began to increase with every green light. He pulled into her complex, parking and building up the courage to confront her.

“It’ll be fine. Things are fine,” he muttered to himself as he walked up the steps to the familiar doormat.

He knocked on the door, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. After a minute, there was no response so he knocked again with more ergency.

“Just a minute,” he heard her soft voice yell out, flooding him with relief. The voice wasn’t as warm as it typically was, only increasing his nervousness.

Before he knew it, Y/N opened the door, eyes meeting his chest before trickling to his eyes. “Wilbur? What are you doing here?”

He froze, shocked at the situation that he forced upon himself without realizing it. “I-You weren’t answering any calls or texts. I was worried,” he mumbled, immediately taking note of her puffy eyes.

“Have you been crying?” He stepped closer to her with concern lacing his voice. He reached out to hold her waist, caress her cheek, anything, but she stepped away slighted. Y/N blinked, “y-yeah, it’s just allergies.”

“You don’t have allergies like that Y/N. May I please come in?” Wilbur knew her better than that, probably even better than she knew herself. She nodded shortly opening the door wider for him to enter, looking down at her sock clad feet.

He entered the tiny flat, taking not that the once welcoming space has become littered with turmoil. The tissues by the sofa didn’t go unnoticed and neither did the pile of dishes in the sink. “What’s been going on? These past few days you’ve been acting strange,” he asked sincerely.

Y/N looked around, finding something and pretending to be busy with it. “I’ve just been busy,” she mumbled looking over the pile of mail she refused to actually look through. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry, would you like some tea?” She asked, realizing her manners.

“Y/N,” he spoke defeated, “come on talk to me, please.” He practically begged as he followed her steps into the kitchen to start the kettle, even though he didn’t give her an answer.

“Everything’s fine, Wilbur,” she replied absentmindedly as she searched for her various teas. “We got chai tea, black tea, Engli-“

“Y/N, I dont fucking want tea right now I want you to talk to me,” he shouted, approaching her in the kitchen and forcing her to face him by pulling her waist gently. She gasped at the loudness of his words, not used to him yelling at her.

“Wilbur,” Y/N whispered, her hands on his chest as he looked down into her eyes. Desperation was clear in his before being mimicked in his words, “this is the longest you’ve gone without calling me Wil. Come on Y/N, please.” His voice cracked towards the end, the shakiness not leaving.

She closed her eyes tightly before she pulled herself out of his arms, turning to grab two mugs out of the cupboard, “you’re getting chai tea.”

“Love, I just want us to be okay,” he spoke passionately, pleading for things to be right.

“We are okay Wilbu- Wil,” she corrected, more so forcing the nickname to combat his complaint. As she prepared each cup, putting Wilbur’s desired amount of sugar into his cup and respectively her own.

He shook his head, not believing her words as his own eyes began to turn red, “there’s something wrong and I can tell. Please just-please Y/N.” His voice was completely broken and she knew she had to express her concerns. She paused her motions, staring at the jar of sugar she just placed onto the counter.

“I-I didn’t want to bother you,” she muttered softly, examining the mugs before her.

The man sniffed, confusion growing within him. “W-What do you mean? You could never bother me Y/N,” his voice soft, approaching her once again.

She shook her head, moving to put sugar in each cup, forgetting that she already did so, “but that’s not true. We both know that.” The water remained on the stove while copious amount of sugar occupied each cup. Wilbur gently grabbed the hand holding the spoon that shoveled the sugar into the mugs, making her stop her own actions.

“Yes it is, love.” Wilbur whispered softly as she put the spoon into the jar, coming back to reality. Y/N let out a shaky breath, facing the counter while Wilbur occupied her side, facing her.

“So why’d you tell all of your friends that I’ve been clingy and needy and overbearing and everything under the sun?” She whispered as her voice wobbled, indicating that tears would soon come falling down.

Wilbur furrowed his brows, confused at the words she expressed. He scavenged his mind, not understanding what she was stating. “What are yo-“ he cut himself off, taking his hand from hers as he remembered that conversation.

Guilt washed over his soul as he realized the greater impact of his words. She thought she had to change....for those idiotic meaningless words expressed in a fit of stress and exhaustion. He shook his head lightly, refusing to look at her, refusing to look at the damage he’s caused.

“I didn’t mean it Y/N. I just-there was a lot on my plate and I just had to complain about something. A-And you were there to complain about.” He spoke honestly, knowing that it doesn’t excuse his behavior. The sound of the kettle went off, the whistle tones attacking his ears while Y/N ignored it to focus on the conversation at hand.

“I just didn’t want to be a burden,” she muttered with a wobbling bounce that made the tall idiotic man pull her into his arms.

“No,no,no don’t ever ever think that again. You are not a burden. You never were Y/N. This is on me, I shouldn’t have said what I had said,” he muttered into her hair, repeating apologies like a mantra while kissing her hairline.

She let go, allowing her pent up feelings from the past few day flow out through tears while in the comfort of his arms, “my biggest fear is bothering people. I-I didn’t want to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” he pulled away to hold her tear stained cheeks in his hands, regret prominent in his gaze, “you have been nothing but patient with me these past few months and that is something I don’t even have the words to express, love.”

“You, Y/N L/N, are not a burden, not now, not ever,” he whispered lovingly. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m sorry I even said it. I didn’t mean it, but fuck I shouldn’t have. Look at what I’ve done to you,” his voice wavered as he pulled away to assess the damage. “Fuck,” he shook his head as a sob escaped his lips before he could pull her into his arms again.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, holding her tight while the whistle pierced his ears. She leaned back slightly, pressing her forehead against his while closing her eyes, “I know, I know. It’s okay. I know you. I know you wouldn’t mean it.”

“I love you,” he whispered, holding her head in one of his hands. “I love you too, Wil,” she whispered back, pulling his lips onto hers, sealing their words with this actions.

As much as he loved the feeling of her soft lips on his once again, he pulled away. “Okay, okay, as much as I don’t want this to stop, that damn kettle is driving me mad,” he expressed, making Y/N chuckle before kissing him on the cheek and going to turn off the stove.

He watched fondly as she was about to pour the water into the mugs, stoping to see the plethora of sugar in each. “Oh shit,” she paused, laughing at the mess she had made. Wilbur snapped out of his gaze, examining the scene that caused her words.

He shook his head lightly, grabbing the kettle from her hands before placing it back onto the stovetop. “You,” he turned to face her, poking her cheek, “go to bed, get all comfy and put on a film. I will finish the tea and bring it to you.” His eyes got soft towards the end of his statement as he went to assess the mug situation.

“Then,” he spoke gently, grabbing her waist once again, littering her face with kisses that trailed down her neck, “I’ll spend the whole day making it up to you.”

Y/N laughed, running her fingers through his soft hair, “can’t wait.” His lips stayed pressed onto her neck, before they made their way back to her own.

[aminiatureworld]

Spotlight

Characters: Albedo, Kazuha, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 3,707

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: Modern AU in which the reader’s s/o is famous.

Author’s Note: My first crack at a modern AU and I enjoyed it immensely! My personal media of choice definitely came through in this prompt. I would now kill for Albedo to read Shakespeare. Also streamer Kazuha is an inspired idea, thank you anon for that! Not to mention musician Xiao, truly chef’s kiss.

Albedo

Albedo was a stage actor, both by education and by trade. Starting in high school he began in local productions, before entering into the Mondstadt Theateracademie. After appearing as Estragon in a filmed version of Waiting for Godot, he began to be scouted for various television miniseries, eventually becoming a well-respected film actor.

You arrived somewhere in the middle of his career. Working as a costume assistant at the Academie you had quickly fallen for the inquisitive and deceptively intense soul that exuded every color of emotion onstage, from raging anger to soft sorrow, before stepping into the wings and resuming an aura of utter calm. He had captivated you, both as an actor and as a human being; and when you learned that he had also become slightly infatuated with you, well, it was hard not to feel like you had stepped into a wonderful play, or perhaps simply a wonderful play had been brought to life.

The switch from theatre to screen was certainly a jarring one for both of you. When the first film contract was offered Albedo had stared at it for a long time, rereading it over and over again as the coffee in front of him quickly turned cold.

“Is there something wrong with the contract?” You had asked.

“No, it’s not that. It’s only…”

“Only?”

“Only on stage there is a single audience. You can feel their reactions, can measure their response. There is nothing nebulous about the people around you. But on film you cannot do that. You cannot adjust for time of day, or whether it’s a weekend or a Friday performance. You must let your lines out and hope that they land without even being able to calculate it.”

“It’s not a science experiment my darling,” you had teased.

“Maybe not,” Albedo admitted. Still he continued to read and reread, and it was only until the next afternoon that he had told you his answer.

Still, you had to admit that he made a fantastic actor. The naturally inward part of your partner’s personality, the part that always seemed to jump out the moment he left the stage, worked well to balance with the camera’s need for subtlety, unlike the projection required for stage plays. It was little surprise then that he should grow so popular. Despite all the worries about measuring audience response, there was no doubting the success of Albedo’s acting career.

Being a naturally withdrawn person Albedo mostly stayed off of social media. He had one private Instagram for friends – he didn’t post anything; one private Facebook for family – the only picture was one of you two in the mountains next to a particularly weird looking rock; and WhatsApp – which could barely be counted. Thus when he started blowing up on Twitter – a platform you had a mostly unused account on – the reaction was mostly one of “why are they talking about me?”

Not that Albedo minded fan enthusiasm, indeed when people started showing up in droves at the stage door for him he was always careful to thank everyone collectively and talk to as many people as possible, it just sort of confused him that so many people should take a vested interest in the actor and not just the character.

“It’s because they want to show you how wonderful they think your performances are,” you’d explained.

“I don’t have Twitter,” Albedo deadpanned.

Despite his protests though you sometimes caught him scrolling on your account, face slightly red at all the positive attention. His habit of internal self-deprecation had never truly gone away. That fact became slightly unfortunate in the face of hate comments. It was hard for Albedo not to take things personally. If someone said his acting was shit then you would catch Albedo reading the same line over and over again, as if to achieve mathematical perfection. It was a difficult urge to fight, and you were always careful to give Albedo plenty of reassurance when these things popped up, as well as surreptitiously blocking the trolls that wandered their way onto your dash.

This habit to take things at face value did not apply when you entered the mix. As far as Albedo was concerned you were his partner and no amount of complaining online would make him second guess that or second guess your worth. Even if you thought that you had a better hold on social media assholerly than he did Albedo would still make sure that for every hate comment that floated your way there were at least three compliments on his part. Mentioning you off-handedly in press interviews, saying that he had to go home to his partner, leaving small sketches on post-it notes scattered throughout your apartment, there were no lengths that Albedo wouldn’t go to assure you. And, if you had to admit, these things truly did make you feel better on the days when the small part of your brain said that this wasn’t mindless social media harassment.

Being an actor Albedo had an incredibly fine-tuned sense of the way that people responded to emotions, as if he were performing some grand sort of scientific experiment to see how many people he could sway with his gift. As of such he was always careful that, regardless of his success, things between you were never upturned. You were with him before he was really famous, and you would be there during and after. Albedo loved you deeply; though he often said that he hated romance plays for how sappy they were in his mind your relationship was the one, glowing exception – regardless of the other happy couples in the world. Though it was slightly idealistic, it was the kind of intensity that comprised Albedo’s personality, was the thing that had garnered him so much success.

Albedo loved you deeply, and no amount of surprise movie contracts would change that.

 Kazuha

You had to admit that when you had met Kazuha you had no idea about his double life as a streamer. He was merely one of the many singers that came and went to the recording studios, all people eager to unleash their talent on the world. But unlike the rest of them, Kazuha could make you laugh.

Perhaps then it was unsurprising that Kazuha should be a popular streamer. Though his often florid talking style might seem on paper like it would be too grating for streaming, in reality his soft cadence combined with a dry sense of humor made him wildly popular. He rarely lost his temper, making him palatable to those who wanted to have a fun time without blowing their ears out, and when he did lose it his hyper-specific, often nonsensical insults were the stuff of memes. No, in retrospect it was not all that surprising that Kazuha was a beloved streamer.

At heart though, Kazuha had told you over coffee, the enthusiastic and earnest internet sensation was a poet.

“When you’ve had a life as dissonant as mine, how can you not be?” He’d joked. And indeed perhaps he was right, for Kazuha was as wonderful a poet as you had ever read. He was born to be a writer, you had told him.

You were also an aspiring singer, as well as a friend of the studio owner where you did your recordings. As such you had made it a habit to help around the studio when you weren’t also working or studying. As you and Kazuha were both students with intense side jobs, the good natured complaining of overworked students also made their way into you rapport, a friendship that grew day-by-day. Eventually it sprouted into love.

Though you knew that Kazuha was a streamer when your relationship started, in reality you hadn’t realized how truly popular he had become. The first time you watched one of his streams you were blown away by his popularity. Watching your first livestream only cemented that. It was hard to believe that your down-to-earth, slightly self-effacing, partner could have garnered such a large fanbase. Not that you didn’t think he deserved it. He absolutely did. However after seeing that you admitted you were a bit awestruck.

“Why? Am I not the same person on screen and off?”

“Of course you are! It’s just, well, my partner’s a celebrity!”

“I would go that far,” Kazuha laughed.

“Well you certainly are to me!”

Nevertheless your dynamic didn’t change much afterwards, besides the occasional teasing on both of your parts. Kazuha was after all Kazuha at the end of the day.

At the beginning Kazuha didn’t mention you much on stream, certainly not by name, you had to admit you were a bit intimidated by the idea of being recognizable on the internet, even if it was just by name.

“This is also my partner’s favorite map.” Had been his first mention, during a game of Mario Kart.

Despite this offhanded remark however the chat had almost immediately exploded, followed by the rest of the fanbase. Though there was, of course, some disappointed buzz – isn’t there always – the reaction was immensely positive. Positive, and curious.

After a while Kazuha started mentioning you more often in streams, especially after the two fo you moved in. Sometimes you would hear him as you passed him room – Kazuha liked to keep the door open – other times you would watch it on stream yourself.

“My partner hates this character. Too bad you can’t throw evidence.”

“Nobody tell my partner that I’m afraid of basements. I don’t need them to know that when laundry day rolls around.”

“Hey if you’re watching this dear, I promise that it’s not that much money. You don’t need to look at the bank account. Who am I kidding, this is why we don’t share one.”

“Hey, darling I know you’re watching this. Can you check and make sure I left my keys on the coffee table, they aren’t on my desk. Also can you make tea?”

Despite fans knowing very little about you, you were surprised by the amount of positive comments that flooded the streams. You had to admit that your initial expectations had been “people are going to find me annoying”. Instead funny comics of your voice drifting in from the other room popped up, along with a lot of waving and “tell your partner not to trust you with the keys” after Kazuha fell off a cliff one too many times. It was an odd experience, to be so happy about the comments of faceless people, people to whom you were also faceless.

Eventually Kazuha’s hardwork in singing paid off and his first single was recorded and given a deal. On the evening of the release livestream Kazuha set up in the living room, angling the camera so that you could sit on the chair just out of frame. You had talked about the release for months now, and a few weeks ago Kazuha had brought up the idea of a pseudo-stream reveal.

“I was wondering if you’d like to say hello to the audience or wave when my song is released. I understand that you’re hesitant about those sort of things, and I would never ask of you something that would make you uncomfortable. This relationship is the most precious thing to me, and I wouldn’t want you to feel pressured or exploited in any ways.”

“Thank you for being so considerate Kazuha. I’ll think about it.”

Now you sat in the chair, fidgeting slightly, waiting as the countdown on his laptop reached one. You excitement certainly seemed matched by that of the fans, who were typing wildly in the chat.

Eventually the screen faded to black and the chatting quieted down. The first few notes of a wooden flute emerged, combined with the strumming of a guitar. As the familiar words began to echo through the laptop speaker you found yourself washed away. Kazuha was always enthralling when he sang. At the end of the song was a dedication, and though Kazuha had already alluded to it, the sincerity still took your breath away.

To my dearest partner. My compass and my guiding star throughout this realization of my dream. You are my sun and my stars, and I’m forever devoted to you. Thank you for sharing in this project, and thank you for giving me such love.

Perhaps it was slightly saccharine. Regardless you felt the sudden, uninhibited urge to cry.

“So, what did everyone think?” Kazuha asked into the mic, face reappearing on screen. He was slightly giddy, and you watched as his hand tugged on the fabric of his linen belt.

Immediately the chat exploded, as waves of “that was amazing”, “I’m crying now”, and “the end was so sweet!” flooded the screen.

“Thank you all for the encouragement!” Kazuha let out a laugh, one that you could tell was one of utter euphoria, and no little relief. “There’s someone else I think who would like to thank you.”

Who knew that a small sentence could cause such a splash?

You barely had time to let out a tentative “Hello,” before an immediate wave of excited screaming covered the bottom left of Kazuha’s stream. “Thank you for supporting Kazuha’s song. And thank you for always being nice to me.” With a tentative wave of the hand you collapsed back on your chair, slightly hysterical laughter rising inside you out of the relief that flooded through you upon seeing the enthused fan reaction.

Afterwards your voice became the occasional guest on Kazuha’s streams, always greeted with enthusiasm. Kazuha continued to grow in popularity, and his music continued to capture a larger and larger audience.

All throughout this you never felt a snag in your relationship. Kazuha may have been a big streaming personality, but he was also a kind and considerate partner, the best that one could ask for in a significant other. Kazuha’s love was never in question. And neither was yours.

 Xiao

Sometimes you were a little self-conscious about the way that you met Xiao.

Though Xiao had definitely grown a following by the time you met – being the main pianist for a popular singer and a classical pseudo-prodigy in both piano and flute his own right certainly had roped him an enthusiastic fanbase – you had simply known him as “the guy who hogs the practice room”.

“I swear to the gods, how long can that bastard take to practice!” You texted angrily at your friend one day. Qixing Conservatory was the premiere music place in Liyue, but what should’ve been an amazing opportunity was being overshadowed by a practice room partner who appeared to not have a life, one who also had the obnoxious habit of playing the same damn thing over, and over, and over again.

“Playing the same piece as before?”

“Yes! Ugh I don’t even know what it’s called but I’ve heard it enough times to last a lifetime, maybe five!”

“Damn I’m sorry, what time does he usually end?”

“I don’t even know. Some time in the early evening. It’s obviously never gotten through to his brain that other people also need to practice. Or that hearing the same notes over and over while waiting makes me want to chuck my binder against a wall.”

“Lol. I kinda want to hear it now. Can you send a video, will the sound pick up?”

“I don’t know how it wouldn’t.”

“…”

“Holy shit! Okay, I need you to watch this video and tell me if you recognize the pianist.”

Safe to say you nearly fell out of your chair upon figuring out Xiao’s identity. Not that you weren’t already about to out of pure exasperation. Still, there was something much more intimidating about shaming a successful musician, and you no longer had the urge to glare at Xiao every time he left the practice room. Honestly, you would have been perfectly happy keeping your head down and never interacting with him at all.

Fate, however, has a sense of humor.

To be fair, some of it was your fault. You knew that Erlkonig was a massively difficult piece. You knew that you should’ve picked something else, knew that even Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata mvt. Three had to be less painful than the non-vocal arrangement you’d placed in front of your eyes. You were never trusting your music taste with your piece choices again. This was a terrible mistake.

“These stupid fucking running notes!” You let out, a groan of exasperation racing through you. Half slamming (you weren’t crazy) the piano cover down you swung the door of the practice room open. You didn’t want to deal with this anymore. Trying to ignore the embarrassment that rose up seeing Xiao waiting on a chair next to the door you went to walk down the hallway.

“You should work on it with a dotted sixteenth note pattern.”

It was the first time that Xiao had ever spoken to you.

Afterwards a rapport slowly grew between the two of you. Often Xiao said nothing as you passed, rarely you made a gesture of recognition when he finally reappeared from the practice room. However soon the occasional word or phrase of advice grew into longer sentences, later these sentences evolved into pieces of conversation. Soon enough you discovered, to your slight horror, that you found yourself yearning for Xiao’s company.

Almost as soon as you’d finally figured out your feelings you were hit with a wave of denial. You weren’t falling for Xiao? How could you fall for someone who got on your nerves so much? Sure he gave you advice, but what about it? You deserved it after having to hear him over and over again while waiting. Certainly Xiao didn’t seem interested in you, he barely talked to you! Yeah he was getting more talkative, but it’s easier to talk to people when you’re giving them advice. There’s no way you were in love with Xiao. And there was no way he was in love with you.

To say that Xiao’s career as a musician, never mind his genuine technical talent at two instruments, was a barrier would be an understatement. The moment you thought you were making some progress, finally admitting to yourself that this crush was, in fact, real, a wave of anxiety would pass over you. Xiao was too good for you, he was too important. Here was a man who had a successful musical career already up in the air while you banged frustratedly on the keys. Why would someone that successful be interested in you? Not to mention the fact that he didn’t seem interested.

Because, you had to admit, you did like Xiao’s music. Not just his classical repertoire, but his pop music as well. It was slightly jazzy, mellow and playful and utterly unlike the scowling musician behind it – something you secretly thought extremely cute and surprisingly charming. To him you were just a practice roommate, and you were sure he’d find the idea of dating someone who was more familiar with his public persona irritating.

So you buried your feelings, or tried to. Unfortunately like sometimes attracts like, and just as Xiao secretly had the emotional understanding of a teaspoon, you weren’t nearly as clever about things as you would like.

“Is there something on my face?” Xiao asked, his voice gruff and slightly reluctant.

“No, why would there be?”

“Because you’re staring at it!”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” You let your head drop, looking intently at the ivories in front of you. Eventually there was a sigh.

“You don’t have to do that. I… I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! You staring down is weird too. Let’s, let’s just hurry up and do this passage.”

After that you became more aware of your staring habit. You also became more aware of Xiao’s own habit, leaning towards you. Sometimes you swore that you could feel the tips of his hair tickling your neck, light and feathery and stealing all your attention.

“Hey, Xiao, do you need glasses?”

“Why would you asked that!” Xiao flared up, face reddening. By this time you’d become more accustomed to these flareups of grumpiness, and ignoring it you pressed on.

“It’s just, you seem to be leaning forward.”

“I’m not!” Immediately Xiao shifted back, almost stepping away. Without thinking about it you reached to grab his hand.

“I didn’t mean it was a bad thing!” You got out, before becoming aware of your hand grasping Xiao’s. The touch felt electric, and you were suddenly so very aware of everything, yet unable to focus at all.

“Then you shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Xiao grumbled.

Slowly the musician leaned closer to you once more. You had already half stood up and now you found yourself stepping closer to Xiao. The world continued to shrink until you were almost pressed together. Xiao was leaning forward, as were you, and the longer tufts of his hair were tickling your cheek, helped by the fan whirring away in the corner. Your hand was still in his, but all your thoughts appeared to have died away.

“Xiao?”

“Is this, too close?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Xiao?”

“What?”

“I like your music. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”

“Why would it?”

“I don’t know. I just, I also like you, not just your music. But I also like your music.”

“I also like yours too.”

Perhaps it wasn’t the most romantic of confessions, but at that point you were far too carried away by the moment, or maybe by the fact that was the most sentences Xiao had strung together that weren’t about triplets. Regardless of the fact, you were suddenly seized by incredible happiness, as all appeared to right itself.

Afterwards initially little changed, Xiao was a gruff as ever, you were still itching to play in the practice room more. Nevertheless when you went to a concert of his for the first time and he let out a small, almost imperceptible, smile your way you knew things had changed. They would keep changing perhaps, or maybe they wouldn’t. After all, this moment was beautiful.

So much that you didn’t even mind the hours spent waiting for the practice room.

[teddy06writes]

the quackity + karl irl stream but add y/n ✨ (and maybe sapnap if that's not too hard to write 😳😳)

quackity x karl x reader (I tried to Fit in Sapnap but it didn’t work with the way the meet up actually went)

trigger warnings: swearing

premise: you finally get to meet your long distance boyfriends in person, the stream that follows is WACK

(y/s/n) - your screen name

(y/n/n) - your nickname

“Blep” talking

‘blep’ texting

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“WE’RE POPPING OFF! WE’RE POPPIN OFF!”

You roared with laughter, doing your best to stay out of the way as Alex and Karl started swinging guitars around.

~~

two and a half hours earlier:

You had gotten off the plane in NC, practically buzzing with nervous energy, or maybe it was the coffee you’d gotten on the plane, combined with the two energy drinks earlier in the day, but hey! it was a long flight, and it was already late.

It was nearly 10:30 by the time you got your bag, and pulled out your phone to check the new messages from Karl and Alex.

You had all planed to meet up originally at Karl’s house but then plans had changed when you and Alex figured it’d be cheaper to uber together, even if it ruined the plan of all of you meeting at once.

‘I just got my bag where are you?’ you texted Alex.

‘I only just got off the plane, I should get down to baggage claim soon tho’

You smiled, ‘I’ll see you them <3′

‘nerd’         ‘<3′

You stood against a wall, quietly scrolling through twitter as you waited, until a new message from Alex popped up.

It was a fairly blurry photo of a crowded airport, with a red circle drawn around one person.

‘that is you right?’

You chuckled, zooming in on the picture to determine that is was indeed you, ‘yup, that’s little ole me... stalker’

You looked up as you sent the text, rising on your toes to look over the crowd, trying to spot him, pulling out your camera you quietly explained what was going on and then:

“(Y/n)!” Alex emerged from the crowd, and immediately you grinned, throwing your arms around him.

“Alex!”

You pulled away long enough for Alex to ask, “Can I kiss you?”

Laughing you nodded, and his lips met yours, as your hands came to rest on the sides of his face.

When you pulled away Alex muttered, “wow.”

“That bad? Sorry.” You glanced down sheepishly.

“Not that-” he said quickly, taking a half step back, “It’s just- wow, you know. Like, we’re actually here together, and about to go meet up with Karl, and wow.”

You chuckled, “I guess that makes sense.”

He garbed your hand, “C’mon, I already called an uber.”

~~

The whole way to Karl’s you sat nervously fiddling the cuffs of your hoodie, occasionally glancing at Alex, who smiled back reassuringly.

You sent a message to the group chat the three of you were in saying you would be there in two minutes at which he sent back a long string of emojis you could only take to mean that he was excited.

The car pulled up in front of the house and you got out, thanking the driver as Alex got your suitcases from the back.

Quietly you pulled out your camera, just as you had at the airport.

“Why are you filming everything?” Alex asked as you walked up to the house.

“We’re gonna do what George could never.” You laughed.

“Yeah but the lightings gonna be shit, it’s dark out here.”

“It’ll still be better than George!”

Alex laughed, high fiving you, “True!”

Almost as soon as you knocked, the door opened and Karl came barreling out, tackling both of you in a hug, “YOUR HERE!”

Alex barley kept him from falling over, “Yeah!”

“It’s almost like we planned it.” You couldn’t help but scoff at the camera.

Karl grinned, quickly pecking at your lips, and then Alex’s as he let go of you, “I am so excited that you guys are here!”

“Woah Karl where's the consent?!” Alex feigned shock.

“Oops?” He giggled.

You rolled your eyes with a chuckle, “Can we come in? It’s cold out here!”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, come in, come in!” Karl quickly moved back inside, waving you and Alex in, “Sorry.”

~~

After getting your suitcases inside and being formally introduced to Shaun, Karl all but demanded for you to take pictures together, resulting in many shots that were blurry from too much laughter, but a few good ones, like the picture with the boys on either side of you, kissing your cheeks, which later went up on Instagram, and a picture of Karl, mid laugh looking back at you up on Alex’s back.

All of your previous anxiety was very much gone.

You laughed, looking at Karl’s phone as he showed the picture, “Oh my god!”

“That is amazing!” Alex agreed, leaning over you to look.

“It’s gonna be the stream announcement!” Karl declared, pulling up twitter.

You glanced at your phone, “Karl it’s almost one in the morning, no one would show up to a stream.”

Karl laughed, “You seriously underestimate the fans.”

The next thing you knew you were up upstairs, sitting off to the side of Karl’s streaming set up as Alex grabbed the guitar from the corner, “Karl you don’t even actually play, why do you have this?”

“Because I can?” He said absently, starting to set up for a stream.

The air was thick with excitement as Karl hit ‘go live’, and handed you and Alex extra sets of headphones.

Alex was still messing with the guitar, and you barley stifled laughs as he began to sing Country roads in a strange accent, and the chat filled with people.

“It’s pop off time!” Karl announced in a high pitched voice, making you laugh even more.

The face cam was turned on, and the yelling began.

After a few moments, and a couple more terrible bars of country roads, Karl grinned, “Everyone! This is, Quackity, our, uh, our guitarist for the day!”

Alex laughed, “We’re poppin off! We’re poppin off!”

“And (y/s/n)s here too!” Karl dragged your chair further in frame, “Welcome! Welcome!”

“It’s pop off central tonight boys!” You chuckled.

The alert box went insane as did the chat as Alex finally sat down next to you, and Karl stopped laughing enough to sit back up.

“Guys! Chill! You’re gonna break the alert box!”

You laughed again, “Yeah just tell your chat to stop, just knock it off, leave we’re done!”

Alex snorted, “It’s over!”

Karl pulled his chair closer to the desk, “Thanks for uh, being here, with the boys, uhh.”

He turned to Alex who was now essentially just spamming random chords, yelling, “I can’t hear you!”

You berried your face in your hands, trying to control your laughter.

Karl sighed and pulled his headphones off, “You know what? I’ll be right back, I’ll be right back.”

You immediately hopped seats as he left, “Hello chat! Hello!”

Alex leaned over, trying to grab the mic to pull it towards him, “hell-” part of the stand snapped, “Oh my god!”

“Oh my god you fucking broke it!” You yelled, pushing away from the desk.

“Oh god, hold on!”

He did his best to fix it, leaning in to talk to the chat, while Karl came back with another guitar.

“Why do you have two of them?” You laughed.

Karl grinned, “Technically it’s Shaun's!”

“OH WE”RE POPPING OFF! WE”RE POPPING OFF!”

You roared with laughter, quickly moving back out of the way as Karl jokingly swung the guitar at Alex.

Once you calmed down you caught a glimpse of the chat, “Guys I think you fucked something up!”

“Oh god!” Alex muttered.

“Wait- hold on- did-” Karl examined the mic, “Wait its unplugged!”

It took a few minutes to get things sorted out, and as Karl and Alex went back to yelling about popping off you spun around in your desk chair, “Pop off crew! Pop off crew!”

Things settled down again when you moved your chair back to between them, a sub goal was set for a height check, and you started to try and get things some what orderly.

“So yeah this isn’t just a Minecraft stream, I think we’re just hanging out, Popping off, you know, we’re gonna talk to chat-”

Karl began to laugh, and Alex tried not to chuckle as he said, “He’s laughing at you (y/n) he’s just laughing at you! What are you gonna do about it?”

“Listen man, I’m trying to get your fucking stream in order. If you just wanna fucking ignore me then fine!” You held your hands up in surrender.

“Well, I mean-”

Karl started to stand up, and you knew he was going for the fit check but Alex screeched, shoving his chair back, “Fuck off!”

“Wha?”

You laughed, “He thought you were going for the Hight check early man!”

“Dude it’s the fit check!”

Alex laughed as Karl sat back down, “Holy shit- cash app with the hundred tear ones!”

You giggled at the message, “They wanna see the height check! Who wants to see the height check? Who wants to see the height check chat?”

“No no no no! No height check early! It- it doesn’t matter, cause height is stupid, and a choice!” Alex struggled for words.

You shook your head whispering, “He just looks short next to Karl and he’s scared.”

“Shut up!”

~~

A while later, after both Karl and Alex’s stream descended into chaos or partial chaos, you found yourself tucked between them on the couch.

Karl’s fingers were intertwined with yours, and Alex’s head lay on your shoulder.

“I’m glad to have finally met you guys.” You murmured.

“Yeah,” Alex hummed, “Actually being able to cuddle is much better than the online thing.”

Karl hummed in agreement, “I wish you guys could be here all the time.”

“Let’s get a house somewhere.” You mused.

“Somewhere convenient for you two nerds to go to school.” Karl chuckled.

Alex yawned, “Somewhere near good take out.”

You smiled sleepily, “Anywhere with you guys is fine by me.”

Distantly a clock on the wall read 4:23 am.

[miraculous-sunflower]

don’t steal adrien’s phone - a fanfiction by miraculous_carnation

hi yall! this amazing piece of art isnt unfortunately done by me- it’s by the ultra charming miraculous_carnation on ao3, so be sure to check her out! i’ve gotten her permission to post this here, so dont worry! enjoy the show!

Lila Rossi posed for the camera, putting on a flirty face, Adrien sitting next to her. They were at the Palace of Versailles, the place for their photoshoot. Lila hugged Adrien in a way that made him uncomfortable, running her hands across his back. The photographer, noticing Adrien’s discomfort, asked them to take a 5 minutes break.

Lila walked to where Adrien was sitting. “So, Adrien! The photos are going to look awesome, right? I mean, we look so in love!”

Adrien’s eyes opened wide when he heard her voice. “Um, Lila? I know I’ve said this a lot, but can you please stop touching me? It makes me uncomfortable, and I already have a girlfriend,” Adrien tried to explain.

Lila narrowed her eyes at his last statement. Ugh, that Maritrash. What did Adrien see in her?

“Oh of course, Adrien! I’d never want to do something that would make you feel uncomfortable,” she whispered, leaning towards his mouth. Adrien grew stiff. Luckily, the photographer called for them just in time. Lila rolled her eyes, but then put on a fake smile.

“Oh well, anyways, we better go back, Adrien! We have to finish the shoot!”

Adrien hated photoshoots with Lila. They were the worst. Luckily, it was only for another 30 minutes, because after that, he had an interview with Nadja Chamack on Face to Face.

Lila hid behind a bush, watching Adrien get up and head toward the photoshoot. Perfect. She ran over to the table and picked up his phone.

“Well, Adrien, let’s see who you really love,” she smirked.

“Welcome back to, Face to Face! This is your host, Nadja Chamack, live in Paris!” Nadja Chamack enthusiastically said while the audience clapped. “Today, we have a very important guest. He’s a model, born here in Paris, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the son of world famous designer Gabriel Agreste, Adrien Agreste!”

2 seconds later, Adrien walked onto the stage, wearing a suit, created specially by his father, strutting in the way his father taught him when he was little. ‘Flash a flirty smile to the audience, then greet Nadja Chamack professionally’, his father’s words repeated in his mind. His father cared about his appearance and reputation, after all…

“Hello there, Nadja! How are you doing today?” Adrien politely asked. He wished he could be somewhere else,particularly running around as CHat Noir, maybe playing a game of tag with Ladybug…

“Oh, well I’m doing wonderful!” Nadja responded, snapping Adrien out of his daze. “Anyways, I’ve got a bunch of questions for you! First one, are you dating Lila Rossi, a fellow model from your father’s company? Are the rumors true?”

Adrien sighed. There were so many rumors about that going around, many of them created by Lila. She already convinced the class that they were dating, when he actually was dating Marinette.

“Sorry, Nadja, but that is incorrect. I am not dating Lila Rossi, but I am dating Marinette Dupain-Cheng, of who you may know.”

Nadja smiled at the name of her friend’s daughter. “Yes, I know Marinette, I commissioned her to create a dress for Manon for my sister’s wedding, and it came out beautiful! Everyone in the audience, go check out Marinette’s website!”

Lila Rossi was watching the Face to Face interview, fuming. She didn’t know he had an interview! How dare Adrien say that! She’d ruin his relationship with Marinette! She tapped into his phone, already knowing his password, courtesy of his father. Gabriel Agreste gave her access to all of his son’s social media accounts for safety reasons. She logged onto his Instagram account and made a new post, adding the photo of Lila kissing him on the cheek.

“So grateful for my girlfriend @lilarossi! Love you!”

She smirked. No way he was getting out of this one.

Nadja Chamack was confused. Apparently, a new post from Adrien on Instagram was posted just now, but how was it possible? Adrien was talking to her the whole time!

She coughed. “Adrien, it seems that there has been a new post on your Instagram,” Adrien looked shocked, “can we have the post on the screen?”

Adrien’s eyes grew wide as he saw the post. “Nadja, I didn’t post that! I couldn’t-”

“I know you didn’t, Adrien. You’ve been talking to me the whole time right now!”, Adrien let out a sigh of relief, “Is it possible your social media team did it?”

Adrien shook his head. “No, they don’t put out posts like that. They only put out posts that promote the brand!”

“So if it wasn’t your social media team, who was it?” Nadja said in confusion. There were several murmurs in the audience as well.

Adrien narrowed his eyes. “Well, I have a hunch. What is the post about?”

Nadja caught on with his thinking. “Oh, so you believe Lila Rossi posted this? How would she have gotten your phone?”

Adrien thought about what happened before the interview. “Well, you see, before coming here, I had a photoshoot with Lila. She probably took my phone then.”

Gabriel Agreste was watching from the safety of his home. Lila Rossi had not thought about this beforehand! She was going to ruin his plan and his brand! How dare she!

Nathalie walked in. “Sir, would you like me to delete the post and disable Adrien’s social media accounts?”

“Yes, Nathalie. Have Adrien’s social media team clean up the mess.” Gabriel sighed. The only good thing that came out of this was that he figured out his son was dating Marinette Dupain-Cheng. It was a good choice, as Marinette was exceptional.

Lila’s eyes grew wide at the revelation. She posted about herself on Adrien’s account when he was in an interview! It made her the prime suspect! Hopefully Mr. Agreste’s social media team could take the blame.

She dialed Mr. Agreste’s number. “Hello, is Mr. Agreste there?”

She was greeted with the monotone voice of Nathalie. “Excuse me, Miss Rossi, but Mr. Agreste has decided to terminate your contract on behalf of Gabriel. You will never model in his brand again. Goodbye.”

Lila gasped. How dare that dumb assistant! She was Lila Rossi! How dare Gabriel Agreste do that to her! She would ruin him!

“On top of recent events, Lila Rossi has lied about many things. She even got Marinette expelled once!” Adrien explained to Nadja, excited that he found a way to expose Lila.

Marinette was watching all of this from the comfort from her room, her mouth wide open. Well, she wasn’t super surprised, Lila would do something like this, but Adrien called her his girlfriend! Sure, they were dating, but she didn’t think he would announce it publicly!

Girl, are you watching Face to Face? Can you believe Lila lied?

Hold up, you’re dating Adrien? Why didn’t you tell me?

Girl, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I thought we were BFFs!

Marinette snorted at the latter. BFFs? Yeah, right. Alya literally announced to the class two weeks ago that their friendship was over and that her new best friend would be Lila. Go figure!

“Wow. As you can see, ladies and gentlemen, startling revelations about the newest Gabriel model has come through! Hold on, we have a new post from the official Gabriel Twitter account! Can we please have this on the screen?” Nadja exclaimed.

Adrien read the post, not surprised. Of course his father would try to save face. It wasn’t new. He was just happy he wouldn’t have to model with Lila anymore.

The audience and Nadja gasped when they read the post. “Wow! It looks like the Gabriel brand has officially terminated Lila Rossi’s contract!” Nadja had to act surprised because this was predictable from the fashion designer. Typical Gabriel.

“Well, folks! There was a lot of drama today, but that concludes today’s interview! I hope you come again for another episode of, Face to Face!” Nadja concluded.

Bonus Scene:

“Well, Adrien, you made a good choice with Marinette. She could take over the designing area of the company while you take over the business side. When will you marry her?”

“FATHER!”

“Well, kid, he’s not wrong. Pigtails makes pretty good bread. And oh how good it tastes with camembert! Oh my sweet gooiness!”

“Shut up, Plagg.”

[kanmom51]

JM JK timeline.- my observations how they grew over the years  Part 3

Disclaimer: these are my own opinions and conclusions.  Feel free to disagree, but hate or aggression will be unacceptable.

This is coming out so much longer than I anticipated, so I decided to post this in a couple of parts.

2016 was a big big year for Jikook.  There is sooooo much content out there, I just can’t refer to everything.  I had to pick and choose, hope I did so wisely. No Twitter, no song recommendations (they may or may not be relevant, but I decided not to go there).

2016 part 1

End of 2015 was the beginning.  Both JM and JK were putting out feelers, trying not only to figure out what this thing between them was, but also how far to take it.  I can only imagine they were filled with the excitement that the attraction was mutual, but there were (and sadly still are) so many obstacles to face.  

What does it mean for the band?  Do the others know? Do they let them know?  When do they let them know?  How does it affect the others? And I am sure they also faced the fears of what happens if it doesn’t work out.  

I know they were young, and when you’re young you take more risks, you think things over less, but I’m sure those questions did cross their minds and did affect their relationship over the years.

So, end of 2015 was putting out the feelers, testing the waters, and 2016 was when they stepped up a gear, jumped into the water, so to say.  There is a clear shift in their behaviour.  We see all the changes that occurred in late 2015 and so much more.  They are closer, touchier, slightly bolder.

There are the stares. JK at JM.  JM at JK.  Both at each other.  These aren’t just one looking at another.  These are just something special.  You can see the attraction, the adoration in their eyes, on their faces.

2016 is the year where we also start to see the shift beyond ‘skinship’.  The ‘skinship’ is still there but there is so much more.  There are moments when it seems like they are afraid to touch, so we see all those little touches, light brushes, micro touches, almost touches.  On the one hand they can’t keep their hands off each other, but it’s gentle, hesitant, like it’s something to hide.  If this is only ‘skinship’ what is there to hide?  Why the hesitance?

JK and JM were always close. But now JK lets us see it.  Prior to 2015 he shied away from JM’s touches, his closeness, his forwardness, his shamelessness (as JK himself put it). From 2015 that started to change, and we see it even more in 2016.  Not only doesn’t he shy away, but he also initiates this closeness.  He is not afraid anymore to show just how important JM is to him, how JM is his anchor.  JM is there to calm him, to sooth him when he is nervous or anxious, to be happy for him, to nudge him on to push him to do more (like speaking at award shows) and to support him and compliment him when he does.  

Through the year we can also see a push and pull in the relationship.  They are getting their footing within the relationship.  Setting the boundaries.  This is a process, and it takes time.  JM is JK’s elder. What does that mean for their relationship? Does JK have to come whenever he is summoned?  Does JK have to keep calling JM hyang? JK starts being defiant.  Sometimes calling JM without the honorifics.  There are times that it bothers JM, but sometimes he loves it. They are working into a relationship – are they on equal grounds?  This is something they are working through.  

2016 is the year JK comes of age.  A most significant right of passage in SK culture.  

This is a year that gives oh so much Jikook content.  The fan meets, the behind the scenes clips, the music awards. This is the year of BV1, several most conspicuous Vlives, including the Osaka Vlive and the famous Hobi Vlive.  This is also when we got the notorious ‘Own it’ dance practice.  There’s the famous “Manila Fight” – most definitely not something I am going to touch upon.  Maybe it happened, maybe it didn’t.  Maybe there was friction, maybe there wasn’t. I, for one, don’t feel like I have enough content to base a conclusion on.

2016 was a substantial year for the two.  I’m aware that there is so much content out there, so I’ll only be touching the iceberg here:

Sapporo snow festival 7 Feb 2016 – JK joins JM in front of the camera – sending kisses to the camera but then leaning in towards JM.  Did he give him a kiss?  JM’s surprised reaction though...

7 May 2016 Vlive – JK an JM being all flirty.

12 May 2016 fan sign – JK trying to put a flower crown on JM’s head.  The two in their own world, playing a game, JM lifting JK up in the air, stabilizing JK with his hand and making sure he doesn’t fall.  Again, they are close, they are in their own world, doing ‘them’, no matter where they are.  This is the same fan sign JM tells JK that he is sitting in the wrong place, and his place is next to him.

Moments in BV 1 –May 2016.  

JK sleeps in lounge room on sofa with JM, instead of on a bed with Suga.  JK fell asleep, and JM sets him up with a pillow and covers him up.

JK’s coming of age day Vlive.  

The famous JK JM discussion about men checking out their selfies (we can see how JK is still struggling with his ideas or conception of what is appropriate, ‘right’ behaviour for a ‘man’).  

JK’s “he’s driving me nuts” over JM lagging behind (Hobi’s reaction to JK’s rant is priceless), but still stops to wait for him all the time.  

The hand wrestling (JM losing every single time, and JM ignoring poor Jin when he offers to hand wrestle with him – was it really hand wrestling or hand holding?).  

JM misplacing his phone, and JK backing out of going all ‘hidden camera’ on JM, showing him he has the phone the minute he sees him. 

JK’s “I will sleep here with Jimin” in the camper.  JM playing footsies with JK’s crotch (JM playing footsies seems to be a reoccurring theme).   

JM feeding his Kookie (So, what’s new?). 

JK’s coming of age performance.  This is a big one for me.  It’s JK’s song choice and him asking JM to do it with him.  The song JK chose to dance to is Park Ji Yoon’s Adult ceremony:

Hey you, why are you hesitating? I know you want me

Right now in front of you, I know what you want,

What you’re waiting for, just come here

 I’m not that little girl,

You used to know anymore,

I’m a woman now

I’m thankful that you’ve waited for me

Now I’ll become a woman at your kiss

 I’m not a little girl anymore

Don’t hesitate any longer

As much as you waited, I’ve waited for this day too

Give me twenty stems of roses, so I can feel your love

 As I wait for you, I close my eyes

 Hey you, I want to give you permission to give me your love

Teach me how love is so sweet and fragrant

 It was hard looking at you suffering and waiting

My heart even hurt

But now came the day

where there is no reason

to wait anymore

 I’m not a little girl anymore

Don’t hesitate any longer

As much as you waited, I’ve waited for this day too

Give me twenty stems of roses, so I can feel your love

As I wait for you, I close my eyes

https://lyricstranslate.com

The song’s message is clear. Is it a coincidence JK chose JM to dance this with him?  I don’t think so.  The Bangtan Bomb (21 Sep 2016) with their practice -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4oIpsRemPA .  

You can tell JM knows exactly how this looks like being all shy and flustered during the rehearsals. The members reactions during the dress rehearsal also are pretty telling.  Who is JK sending this message to? JM? Us?

13 July 2016 JM and Jin reacting to Minwoo & JK’s celebrity bromance.  JM taking it a bit far there, expressing his jealousy and how JK doesn’t treat him the same, saying he has no feeling for him.  Seriously JM?  I kind of wonder here whether JM is trying to down play what’s going on between the two, or if he is genuinely jealous, maybe because he feels that JK is holding himself back with him, especially in front of the cameras or around others.  We do hear later in the year JM’s frustration that JK doesn’t say he loves him (Jin eats Vlive).

OK, now for the famous suspicious as Vlives.  I will tackle them just a little bit. I am not going to analyse them, there has been plenty of that going around.  I do, though, want to talk about them just a bit.

As far as I am concerned, both Vlives don’t prove the relationship between the boys.  They most definitely are very suspicious though.  

The Osaka Vlive -12 July 2016, when Tae surprises JK in his hotel room - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjjAbQLXrEM .  JK is undressed, lights are dimmed, he has loud sultry music playing, makeup is smudged, he’s acting pretty suspicious as a whole.  I think that reaching a conclusion that JK has someone in the room with him is not far fetched.  Someone he obviously doesn’t want the camera to see.  Is it JM?  We really can’t know.  I have seen analyses that hear him calling out JM’s name when Tae’s at the door, or pointing out JM’s phone or clothes and shoes are in the room.  To me that is outright speculation. But I do believe someone was there, someone JK didn’t want to show up on camera.

A question I ask myself, though, if it wasn’t JM in the room, is why JM is obviously pissed at Tae the next day, when during his Vlive, he repeats several times not to let Tae into the room for the live?  Is it connected?  That’s for them to know, and us to probably never find out.

Then there is Hobi’s Vlive, 13 Aug 2016.  Hobi starts his live, saying how hungry .  This is an important piece of information to remember for later on.  He goes to JM’s room.  It takes time for JM to open the door, Hobi finally pushing himself in, saying how he is going to show off JM’s room.  Only thing is that they stand at the entrance, then walk slowly into the room, not turning the camera away from their faces, all the while Hobi looking worryingly into the room.  It seemed like he was looking at something inside the room.  

The camera is turned into the room, avoiding certain areas.  They come into the room to discover an enormous amount of food, and JM explains that he is starving and that’s why he ordered so much.  When Hobi entered the room he asks JM what he was doing, and he answered that he was boiling water for ramen.  So he was going to eat all that food and ramen by himself? They converse, and then V comes. At some point V takes JM’s ramen, after JM stated it was his manager’s (is this the same manager JM checks out during his future live?), and leaves the room.  Then Hobi says he’ll go and leave the camera with JM.  

The question I ask is, why did Hobi, who was really hungry, leave JM’s room when JM, obviously, had enough food for two?  We saw JM eat later, and he most definitely didn’t finish all the food he ordered by himself.  Then, before Hobi leaves JM with the Vlive camera, he goes to the bed, where JM is lying, and starts teasing him being all handsy with him and going: “Oh Jimin, oh jimin” – what was that about?  

JM is left alone, also managing the camera, not showing the whole room.   The whole time he is acting funny, grinning to what looks like someone off camera, seems like he talks to something/someone off camera, the whole vibe is that he isn’t alone in the room.  But the definitive proof that there was someone in the room with him was when at some point the camera is facing JM, who is sitting next to the tv.  Then, something happens. 

Is it a ghost?  Is it a plain? No, it’s super JK…  But seriously, there was someone in the room, someone who’s reflection we got to see in the tv.

To sum it up, here too JM is not alone in the room.  Is it JK? That we don’t know for sure. Suspicions are high, but that’s what they are - suspicions.  He does, at some point talk about inviting other members to join him (why didn’t he ask Hobi to stay and eat with him?????), and gives a pretty lame explanation as to why he isn’t calling JK to join (stating that he doesn’t listen to him anymore.  Again with this JM?).

A question I ask myself is why is it always those two that seem to have someone hiding in their room during the lives????

14 Aug 2016 upload of ‘Own it’ dance practice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMprwPSFLyU .

This is private dance practice, just JM and JK, at what looks like late at night, lights dimmed, to a highly explicit song.  It’s filmed by them, as we can see them cutting and returning to the camera from time to time.  During the dance JM clearly has an erection.  He is aware of it, looks down at it, points it out to JK, and at some point changes his shirt to cover it up.   They don’t stop dancing. They don’t stop recording.  They are clearly having a good time.  

This clip is uploaded to BangtanTV in 2016 and is still there.  I can reassure you that both JM and JK are aware of what is seen in this clip, and still this clip was uploaded, and is still online.  It’s more the atmosphere (alone, dimmed lighting) and the choice of song to dance to that indicates the high level of intimacy and the feeling is that this is just something ‘more’.

To be continued...

[alonfic]

in conclusion (i love you)

pairing: tsukishima kei x reader genre: college + fwb to lovers au | fluff, suggestive wc: 3,742 description: In which Tsukishima discovers that love can bloom in inconspicuous ways, even when you and him are supposed to be conducting a (not so) simple experiment. author’s note: cross-posted onto my ao3. still not sure if i’ll be posting here frequently, but i thought i’d see how i like it first.

Tsukishima doesn’t understand romantic relationships. 

He thinks they’re illogical, impossible, and most of all, irrelevant. They seem like too much hassle when it comes to the ordeal of courting. From the hours spent preparing complicated banners for asking significant others out to the extensive search for gifts that are supposed to appease pointless “monthiversaries,” Tsukishima finds it all to be a waste of time. 

Just acts for appearances. Sure, they’re cute, heartwarming even, but what does all of that show for anyway? What happened to qualitative experiences?  

He ascertains that he may never truly understand what it means to love another person by modern day standards; for those standards are all full of overhyped bullshit trying to make a trending post on Twitter and Instagram. If avoiding those things means saving himself from love, then so be it. (Irrationality and heartache be damned!)

Tsukishima decides in his first year of university that he won’t do any of those things. 

How? His friends ask, guffaws in tow.

He simply tells them that he won’t fall in love. 

/

Not many people share in this same ideal, Tsukishima finds. 

He can’t say he’s very surprised or disappointed to have his philosophy rejected, especially by those same friends who have questioned his goal, Yamaguchi and Hinata. They’re fools who deem love as something akin to fate’s gift. 

Love is a choice, Tsukishima tells them, and this is his decision. 

They think he’s being a little silly for not wanting to fall in love. They say he’ll get bit in the ass when he least expects it and he’ll go back on his word, but he hardly thinks that’s true. 

If he doesn’t want to fall in love, then he won’t, and that’s perfectly okay. At the very least, you agree with him. 

You have always understood him on wavelengths that others simply could not. You have always stood by his side when it came to debates on this matter, and even more so when he really thinks about it. 

Tsukishima has been able to lean on you even in high school. Him being so introverted has made things difficult, and what he needed then was patience, something many people lacked, but unlike those people, you took the time to understand him and his struggles. 

It’s made him grateful to you. Even now. Scratch that, especially now. 

These days he isn’t just shooting you texts about how he could’ve let someone down easier. Sometimes it’s checking out hot pot places at 8PM on a Tuesday; other times, it’s going to the library until 5 AM because statistics midterms suck at an unbearable level, but you take the 8AM class with him anyway, just because it’s him, and General Education requirements may suck but they’re mandatory. 

It’s also sharing jokes that no one else gets, and teaming up against the rest of the group when they heckle you two about being the only ones who sees love as the bane of both your existences. 

Tsukishima has heard plenty of love advice and received Cosmopolitan articles on how to woo a friend from those same punks who think that love is given by chance. He has seen the knowing stares exchanged at kickbacks. Hell, he’s heard all the whispers, too. But it means nothing. 

This is friendship. No matter what anyone else tries to insinuate, you both know it means nothing for either of you. 

What you are together is simply platonic. 

Friends, that’s all. 

/

Somewhere along the way benefits become a factor for you two. 

These are the sort of benefits that forgo late night convenience store runs for ramen and other delicious, overly processed foods that Yamagchi and Sugawara blanch at the two of you over. Instead it’s the kind that means heated kisses in one another’s bedroom and wandering hands in places very few people have become privy to in both your two-decades long reign on this planet. 

And, it all starts over a simple experiment. 

At least that’s what you and Tsukishima like to call it. 

/

“Isn’t it stupid that Ennoshita would say that?” Tsukishima asks, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. “We can be friends. How can he say it’s impossible for us to be just friends? I mean there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to one another, right? You’re good looking. I’m good looking. We’re acknowledging each other’s attractiveness.” 

He pats the open space beside him on his bed, feeling it dip a little soon afterwards. You’re visiting him after he blew off the post-kickback get together. He shouldn’t be surprised that you came by to check on him.

You smile at him as one of your fingers pokes his cheek. “You sound awfully bothered over something that shouldn’t matter.” 

He frowns at your nonchalant tone, even if you are messing with him. 

Tsukishima has never been that particularly fond of other people telling him that his friendship with you is only the stepping stone to something more, that it would only be a matter of time before you two were calling one another cutesy pet names and holding hands for other reasons than as a precaution from getting lost in crowds, and that if he didn’t step up to the plate now, then he would lose you to someone else. 

But how could he? If anything, you’ve been more against love than him. Seeing you with someone else is as impossible as seeing Hinata at Aone’s height. Possibly with some help, but still highly unlikely. 

“I mean, aren’t you? So what if we’re attracted to each other? That doesn’t mean we’re going to start dating because of that.” 

You hum in affirmation. 

You know he has a point. It’s silly to expect two friends to date when both your admissions came as a result from a simple game of “truth or dare.” While it comes from a place of truth, it isn’t like either of you admitted to harboring deep-seated feelings for one another or anything. It’s simply an admission of truth. 

He thinks you’re attractive, beautiful even, and it helps that you share the same opinion as him when it comes to love. And, you think he’s attractive, handsome even, and it’s because you both share the same opinion on love that he doesn’t have to worry about frivolous things like falling in love with you. Or you with him. Your dynamics just work like that. 

“You know, there are other alternatives to relationships anyway, right?” you ask him, watching as he turns to face you on the bed. 

“Like what? Hooking up?” He feels a little dumbfounded. The idea of hooking up with you never really occurred to him. Clearly not because he wasn’t attracted to you, but didn’t those end up… badly? 

You nod. 

Seeing the instant confusion wash over his face, you explain, “Yeah, hook-ups aren’t so bad. It’s like a one and done. It doesn’t even have to lead to anything more. It’s like a preliminary thing. Trial or whatever. We give it a go and if it doesn’t work out, then we can just go back to being friends.” 

“And if it does? Work out, I mean,” he gulps. He doesn’t want to think of an option that means losing you or this friendship. But he’s intrigued, he wouldn’t have asked if he wasn’t, and you know it. 

“Then we have one of two options.” 

He blinks. “Which are?” 

“Well, if it does, then we can continue and enjoy the fun. Or, we really fuck ourselves over and do exactly what our friends have been betting on for years.” You lean in closer, eyes alight with mischief and interest. 

He feels a tug within him to concede, as if his own body knows its answer, while his mind’s doubts seem to lower in volume the longer he’s under your gaze. 

“What do you say? Up for an experiment?”

He still has to ask: “And, what if we can’t go back from this?”  

“I don’t know,” you whisper, eyes softening as you note his hesitancy. “Even that’s something I can’t answer. This is just a risk we both have to be willing to take. Truthfully, I’m in. But, are you? I-it’s okay if you aren’t, though, Kei. This was just a suggestion, of course—”

He doesn’t take a second longer to tell you his decision.

“I’m in.” 

After all, it couldn’t hurt… right?

 /

Tsukishima discovers many things in this time. 

Things that he never really gave a second thought on. Somewhere between how you look bathed in moonlight with the curtains half-open to the just-right way you feel beside him, he realizes how soft your skin is, how low and husky your voice can get when you’re feeling a particular way, and how powerful you are. 

There’s something enticing about you. Not just in the way you look bare, but the way you can make him feel even without the lack of clothing. He realizes that he enjoys the lingering taste of your lips against his, the heat that your fingertips leave behind, and the small voice you use when you call his name. 

It’s normal, he tries to convince himself. This is how it should be. 

It would be ridiculous to hate the way you feel or sound when it comes to him. And while that is true, that becomes a whole different matter when it bleeds into everyday life outside of the bedroom.

He swears there are moments where he can hear you say his name and you aren’t even in the room. His eyes catch sight of something familiar, at least enough to remind him of you, and suddenly you’re popping up front and center in his mind. He can’t help but smile, of course. 

Even just the taste of last night’s kiss rears its head when he’s doing homework, suddenly taking him right back to that night you two shared talking about the latest fantastical escapade in his reading arsenal. 

He believes the simplicity of these exchanges is the best part of this entire experiment. 

Being able to switch between friendship and, well, sex. And he isn’t sure if the consistent exposure to your presence has brought him to think of you constantly or if it’s some other seed blooming in the vestiges of his chest. He can’t say. Partially because he’s scared to. Because admitting to the second possibility means changing something good, something normal. And change, in this regard, often means a relationship. One that he isn’t sure if such feelings will truck through or crash and burn the moment he mentions it. 

Instead when you call out his name, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows and a fingertip tapping his cheek, he flashes one of his heartwarming smiles your way and brushes aside the concern. 

“It’s nothing,” he tells you. “I’m fine. Everything is perfect.” 

And while you aren’t convinced, you simply nod and take note to ask another day. 

/

The thing that bothers Tsukishima most is being fickle. 

He doesn’t like being fickle. He knows it is transcribed in the stars that he is a fickle being. And it doesn’t help that everyone is constantly telling him that he is indecisive. He knows already. He knows it well. He hates it, but only when it comes to you. 

He is never indecisive with you. Well, only because you’re the assurance he needs when it comes to decision-making. Maybe it’s your influence. You’re bullheaded and more self-assured than Patrick Verona from “Ten Things I Hate About You.” (Mind you, you’re the one who forced him to watch it. And, fortunately, he wound up loving it.) 

He constantly thinks about how opposed those two main leads are about love, simply because it is exactly against what everyone else expects from high school teenagers. They don’t conform to the status quo. They make their own status quo. Perhaps that is where Tsukishima garnered such a strong stance against love from. Partially from the movie and mostly from you. 

While everyone is banking on your relationship to become more than just friends, he truly can’t help but consider the possibility of a ‘more’ with you anymore. He realizes this when he sees you underneath the incandescent fairy lights hanging around your room. 

Your tranquil visage, how effortless you look sporting one of his T-shirts with a giant crescent moon on the back, and the way your limbs so effortlessly remain entangled. This is comfortable. This is… right. 

He doesn’t stop himself from brushing aside the stray locks covering your face. Normally, he might like to turn over and occupy another part of the bed, but he prefers to remain where he is with you in his arms, just so he can listen for your soft and steady breathing like his own personal lullaby. If he was brave enough, he probably would’ve kissed your cheek. 

Truthfully, if he were in a relationship with you, he truly wouldn’t mind. Not even a little bit. 

Realization strikes him then. A simple, yet vital question crosses his mind, one that he hadn’t thought needed to be asked before—could you feel the same way about him? 

Tsukishima doesn’t have any other answer besides I don’t know. 

/

When Tsukishima said he could never be as irrational as any other lovestruck fool, he never imagined what it would be like to see you in the arms of another man. 

Given, this is a man he knows well. Trusts, even. He can’t help but feel a large pang in his chest when Kuroo spins you around on the dancefloor. It’s a drunken habit that everyone either loves or hates depending on their sobriety levels, but even while sober, you seem to bask in this treatment with glee. 

It makes Tsukishima grumble under his breath, “What’s so good about him anyway?” 

He doesn’t ask anyone in particular and expects no one to answer him back, but a nudge and a pointed look from Sugawara tells him that his ruminations have not gone unnoticed. 

Sugawara nods his head in your direction. “You finally realize you’re in love with her?” 

“W-what? I am not in love… with her,” he says. It’s all weak and unconvincing.

The smirk on the silver-haired man’s face says it all, much to Tsukishima’s annoyance. 

“Shut up.” 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“You’re thinking about it.” He doesn’t want to say it aloud. He hardly feels right feeling what he does when you probably don’t even feel the same way anyway.

“What am I thinking that has you so peeved, Tsukishima?” Sugawara raises his eyebrow. “The truth?” 

The tone elicits a wince from Tsukishima, making him frown. Not that he’s unhappy, he’s just frustrated that the proverbial cat is now out of the bag. 

Tsukishima simply shakes his head, wanting nothing more than to escape from the scene. Maybe go home and burrow away into his bed, away from all of this. Afterparty milk tea trip with the rest of the group be damned. Did he really have to go when he was this emotionally compromised? Stewing right here just spells trouble, and not just for him, but for your friendship with him as well. 

“You should just be honest, dude. None of this ‘experiment’ bullshit. You both lost. Own up to the results.” 

Tsukishima raises an eyebrow at Sugawara. The rest of the party seems to cease with more drinks getting passed around, which he receives one quite graciously. “What are you talking about ‘both?’ It’s just me. I fell first.” 

Sugawara snorts. 

Tsukishima shoots him an accusatory glare, but when he receives nothing in response, he chugs down the red Solo cup without thinking of what’s inside. 

The mixture kind of tastes like shit, and it makes him feel even worse, because now his mind won’t stop fixating on you and Kuroo. A match that could be made in heaven. 

The dark-haired man has always been handsome, adorable at times, funny without trying particularly hard, caring, and worst of all, certain. God, was Kuroo a certain bastard. He always seemed to know what he wanted. He did as he pleased and got whatever he set his heart on too. 

It’s cruel, really. The way fate has metaphorically bit him in the ass like Yamaguchi and Hinata predicted. 

Tsukishima can’t stand the thought that maybe you would choose Kuroo’s sauve side tonight. He particularly dislikes that he really did lose his chance thinking that this experiment would last forever. A few months should’ve sufficed. Should’ve. But only an idiot would let something as good as you be a temporary fling. 

“Maybe I’m the idiot,” he mutters, shutting his eyes.

Sugawara doesn’t respond immediately, in fact, he doesn’t respond at all. Instead a voice he swears is yours does. 

“Who’s an idiot?” Fingertips digging into his sides are unlike Yamaguchi or even Sugawara. In fact, these ones are all too familiar, even with two layers of clothing blocking access to his bare flesh. “Kei?” 

When he looks at the perpetrator, he nearly tumbles over to see you in Sugawara’s place. 

You immediately steady him by interlocking one of his arms with yours, and it’s only you. No Kuroo trailing behind you. No Sugawara in sight either. It’s just you and him walking toward an empty section of the house. Milk tea trip really be damned, you seemed to tell him. 

“Are you alright?” He notices you make eye contact with Yamaguchi before you two round the corner into the surprisingly unoccupied hallway. 

Tsukishima’s begrudgingly grateful that Kageyama’s place is a lot spacier than he remembers. It’s enough that he’s been granted some relief—no trip or an audience to bear witness to his major crash and burn.

He sighs. “N—yeah. Er, no.” 

“Yes or no? Which it is.” You flash him a half-smile as he sways inside the empty guest bedroom. 

He looks around after noting just how quiet it is without the thumping bass of music or the chatter of others drowning out just about everything else. It feels bare here somehow. 

He shakes his head. 

“Why?” Your eyebrows screw together. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“I fucked up,” he whispers. Looking from the beige walls covered bare of any sentiments, he meets your softened gaze. “I fucked up the experiment.” 

“How did you do that?” 

“T-the results are inconclusive. I can’t continue, because,” he rubs the back of his head, “well, I caught feelings.”

The surprise is evident on your visage, even from the weak lighting created by the moon and street lamp outside. But he can’t deny seeing the sight of a smile beginning to grace your features either. Amusement, he can discern with absolute certainty. Relief, dare he say? All of the things he never imagined in any of his scenarios about this moment. 

“Leave it to you to be able to use big words when you’re buzzed.” 

“It’s true. We can’t continue this. I mean I’d love to have something with you, but this isn’t a one and done for me. Not anymore. Maybe not ever.”

“Really? You mean that?” Even though you won’t say it directly, he knows there’s a huge burden of thoughts on your mind from the way your bottom lip gets captured by your teeth. 

“Yeah, I mean it. I—I can’t pretend that I don’t love you anymore. I just can’t. I don’t think I ever expected to feel this way for anyone, but spending so much time with you in and out of bed has shown me that whatever shit I said before has gone completely out of the window. I mean I’m not asking you to be with me if that’s not what you want, but if at all, you feel something too, then…” He can’t help but fiddle with his fingers. Why is his heart beating so loudly? Can’t you hear it? 

“You love me?” 

He swears then that you probably can. 

Slowly, he nods. “I don’t know how I came to love you exactly, but it just struck me when you were sleeping. It felt right that you were beside me. Easy and comfortable, even. I debated so hard about what these feelings were when it came to you. I didn’t think I could like someone this much. But I just do. I just love you for you, for being there... for existing.” 

The last part has his cheeks burning, and Tsukishima can’t help but look away to save himself the humiliation of looking like a fresh tomato. You laugh when he does this, and he can’t even help himself from trying to catch a glimpse.  

He loves your soft exhale, it’s one that he relishes in. Somehow you don’t look as perturbed or aghast as he expects. If anything, you look quite content. It makes him wonder if Sugawara was right, if everyone else was right all along. 

He asks, “Well, what do you say?” 

This time you laugh again. A much louder, but he can’t help but break out into a broad grin, because the atmosphere feels lighter than any tension breaking to grip the room. He knows without being told.

“Only you, Kei. Of course, I love you too.” 

His heart swells, and a greedy part of him wants to hear you say it again. “Really?”

You nod and look at him as if there couldn’t possibly be any other answer out there. “There’s no one else in this world that could understand me the way you do. No one could touch me like you, make me laugh like you, and certainly not watch ‘Ten Things I Hate About You’ five million times with me like you.” 

“Five million and one times,” he corrects. 

His fingers shyly brush away the hair threatening to cover your face, and he refuses to be denied that luxury. Not when he can’t seem to get enough of you. He can’t even bear to move his hand away after he’s done it. “And I’d watch it over and over again with you, by the way.” 

“Good.” You smile at him, cupping your hand over his. “I’m glad we finally came to a conclusion on this.” 

“Even if it means getting ‘I-told-you-so’s’ and teased to all hell?” He smiles when you nod. “Good, ‘cuz I don’t think I’d have it any other way.” 

“Yeah, me either,” you say, leaning in to peck his lips. Of course, he returns the gesture (and then some). 

(The room is empty, after all.)

[renidrag]

I literally can’t stop thinking about how the finale is going to play out for Greta and Riley and was wondering if you could give me your theories if you have any.

Like we know that they’re finally going to talk to each other but who do you think is going to initiate the conversation? What’s going to happen that they finally breakdown and talk? Also, what do you think is going on with Luz? Do you think she’s the one that tells Greta about her and Riley or does Riley tell her herself? Why else would Luz be at the party though? I’m having such a hard time picturing how it’s all going to play out in this one episode. Like there’s so much that needs to be addressed will it even end on a good note for them?? If the season ends with them on bad terms and we don’t get a season 2 I’ll be devastated.

Sorry that’s a lot of questions but I just want to know how you think it’s all gonna go down. I’ve loved reading all of your other theories and analyses!

alright alright let me answer this question by question lmao but this is all speculation ofc because I have NO IDEA

because the pics we have of the conversation are in riley's room and because she's been the one to try to initiate conversation the past three times we've seen them talk - in ep 14 when riley yells at greta, the 'wow greta you look great' line (still can't believe she said this on a group facetime aljsfdjsald) and their final almost-convo in ep 15 - it seems most likely that it will be riley who pulls her aside so that they can be alone in a room together (for like the third time ever!!!) and so that she can finally hear the end of 'actually I wanted to tell you'

on the other hand I'm also thinking that maybe greta has had enough of being interrupted. she's been trying to have this out with riley for so long that maybe on this third attempt she just shuts them in a room together so that she can say her piece. if she's been thinking over this one conversation and all the different ways it could go endlessly for days then maybe she just hits the point where she can't hold it in for a second longer

from the sneak peek where greta says 'I can like someone, like really like them' the only thing that makes sense to me is her explaining that she is actually extremely into riley, that she can really like someone if she's connected with them and that that person is riley. in the hug at the end of the sneak peek greta looks like she's crying so I've seen people speculate that it's like a goodbye hug or something, but if I had finally spilled my guts to this girl that I'm all in on I'd probably be bawling too. maybe riley pulls her in to tell her that everything is going to be alright, and that she's valid and that riley still likes her so much no matter what?? they're always so tentative with touching each other and the only other time they've hugged it was pretty brief and awkward at x files night, so that hug honestly just looks like relief to me. it must feel so good for both of them just to hold onto each other like that - a mirror of the hug between chester and riley in ep 14. some people just make you feel correct

in terms of luz being there, the afterparty at riley's house is filled with a bunch of other random people from their school like the party in the pilot so it's not weird to me that she's there. maybe luz is regretting giving up on greta and is coming back for a second try, or maybe she's just there to either have a good time or start drama idk at this point

this dialogue from ep 15 has me really interested to see whether riley chooses to perpetuate her dad's cycle of dishonesty because she feels she has no choice, or if she decides to diverge from this doomed path that she thinks is set for her because of who her parents are

if they're doing it just for the drama then she's obviously going to keep it from greta and then luz will come along to ruin everything, but I think it would be much more interesting for them to queer this narrative of untruth and subvert those expectations that we have. riley's not stupid, she knows it's going to hurt greta but I would love if they let her realise that keeping this from greta now is just going to make things worse in the long run

she already has that threat of 'not yet' from luz hanging over her head, and it would be so cool and different for there to be this conversation between the two of them that is just completely honest and sets them up with a clean slate to continue their relationship on. not that I think it will happen really but I'd also love for greta to hear about the hook up and tell riley 'okay I understand that you were upset that night and that made you act in a way that you regret. I don't hate you, you're not a bad person and you're not your dad' rather than being some massive shocking revelation, like that kind of patience and acceptance of trauma is something that we never really see

I really hope that riley tells greta everything that's happening with her home life as well. the 'stuff I don't wanna tell you' line was so pointed and I need her to know that greta is literally just worried because she cares about her so much, and that she honestly does just want to hear what riley's struggling with so she can help her carry that load. we've had two specific instances in ep 1 and ep 9 (funny how the two halves of the season start with this) where riley and greta have been trying to check in and ask the other if they're okay and also get interrupted, so this is finally a chance to not only talk about their own feelings but everything outside of that as well

I really hope this season will end on a good note. obviously they won't be able to resolve everything but even just having a little moment of something at the end of the episode, like that quiet car ride with that tiny hopeful uptick that is bo replying to chester at the end of ep 8 is kind of enough for me as long as we get a season two. I've said this before but ending a season of a show about queer people on some cliffhanger of pain and misery and chaos just seems like the absolute wrong message for any creator who is also queer to send. like that's why we make art that represents ourselves, to tell kids that it does get better, and there is hope and light and love at the end of the tunnel

not to compare this show to euphoria because I think it’s reductive but there's this thing that sam levinson says about his show that I think really applies here too with how zelda and her dads talk about this show and it makes me feel at least a little bit optimistic about this final episode:

'It’s about how if you keep your heart open, there are people who can change your life, and it’s about love, and it’s a show about being seen and heard and known. It doesn’t cure everything but it sure as fuck helps.'

if you've gotten through this and you have twitter or instagram then go follow the official accounts, tweet something about how much you love this show and hashtag #renewgeneration so that we actually DO get a season 2 :-)

[lucky-sevens]

mechs deep lore compilation post

so! maybe you’ve read the other compilation post i made of basic lore/how to get into the mechs! maybe you want to know more! or maybe you’re a fan already and want to see how deep down this rabbit hole you can get!

well, good news for you: i have gone down the rabbit hole and hit bedrock only to find maki yamazaki standing by my side with a pickaxe! it is time for mechs lore part 2: electric boogaloo also known as ‘wow blue have you considered sleep’

rest under the cut!

i’ve tried to organize this, but given how many random facts there are, it’s hard! decided to start off with lore for each character (in order of them joining the mechs in-universe), including all the carmilla lore at the end; then move into general world lore/a bit of album lore, and finally more obscure/unknown facts, such as explaining the whole scuzz thing! also, citing the sources has been difficult, as a lot of things are from, say, old twitter posts and the like. there might be less links here than you all would like, but bear with me- compiling all this lore is quite difficult!

disclaimer: unlike stuff like the wiki, this includes a lot of my own theories and red stringing, and while i’m noting if something’s fanon or canon, the fanon may occasionally make its way into my theories!

links to the songs will be mostly TheVoidSings’ youtube lyric videos, as i don’t want to find the links to all the different platforms they’re on and the videos are lovely and accessible!

also- i’ve done some significant editing on the mechanisms wiki, as have other talented people- go check it out! it’s a good source of lore!

now on w/ the actual post!

crew

jonny d’ville

his lore is fairly concrete, but since he’s an unreliable narrator, we don’t know what bits can be trusted! his backstory song is one eyed jacks, which gives a pretty clear picture of events, but here in his crew bio he says that he made up new texas, and doesn’t have a very good memory of events in general. (it’s implied that he didn’t lie about killing his father, but we don’t even know that for sure.) a note: unlike the others, we don’t know what happened to his heart in order for him to be mechanized.

the aurora

the aurora’s lore is a mess. here’s what we know for sure, which is an edited version of what i have on her wiki page, (where i have also given a list of her known physical attributes);

she started off as a moon, but was weaponized and turned into a ship. she initially was a navy ship, but mutinied and joined the rebellion, participating in the october revolution, in which nastya died and was mechanized. this may have been her choice, but it is more likely that carmilla and/or jonny forced her into it, as they are the ones who won her from the cyberian navy.

when they stormed the ship, a woman was trapped inside- specialist 278 tereshkova, presumably aurora's programmer. What her and aurora's relationship was like is unknown, but aurora did not make any attempt to save her, so it may have not been positive. before dying, tereshkova managed to program a final distress message into aurora, as well as coding the mechanisms' blog.

she’s likely to be based off of the historical battleship aurora, like nastya is based off of the historical russian princess anastasia.

now, it’s time to get into the main theory about her: that aurora used to be briar rose! i’m collecting all the evidence on it, as well as all the evidence that can disprove it.

here’s a refresher on briar rose’s whole deal, taken from ‘the aurora strikes’-

The Rose Reds were the most effective of the soldiers created from Rose's genetic material, but they were not the first. Rumours spoke of an early prototype, known as the Briar Rose, that had malfunctioned and slain everyone on the desert moon of Briar, where she was being grown. But she was not dead. As the Mechanisms discovered, instead, she slept, at the heart of the defence grid that surrounded New Constantinople. The grid was composed of Thorn-class gun emplacements and was virtually impenetrable. And in its centre, the Briar Rose slumbered, plugged into the system, her anger, her rage, her hatred and her fear, fueling the machines, and focusing their gun turrets.

the main support for the theory here is that over time, briar rose could have fused to the moon, which is one of the very few conditions in which a biomechanical weaponized moon seems plausible and not just like a collection of vaguely cursed words. however, in the fiction ‘by any other name’, which is some collected lab research on briar rose, there’s this line- “During transportation and integration of the specimen, take all precaution and care.”- key word here being transportation. so she must have been moved off the moon.

the fiction i cited to disprove the theory actually has something that further supports it, though- the presence of a mysterious woman in king cole’s lab, who could be carmilla. hood, the revolution’s hacker, notes on a picture of her ‘[No idea. The others I’ve been able to find evidence of, but she’s a fucking ghost]‘. the description is a bit off, though, as she’s described as a short, pale, woman with hair long enough to be pulled back and carmilla is quite tall and has short hair- as well, in a later part of the fiction, the woman is killed and does not revive. however, there’s also another who could plausibly be her, noted here- ‘A tall woman sits opposite Prof. Root with a tray of her own. From her stature, it is conceivable she was one of the figures in the chemical suits. They talk sporadically, but the audio is heavily corrupted.’ she isn’t one of the ones killed later on, either, so that’s possible.

we know carmilla knew aurora when she was a very young moon and raised her practically from birth, so if she is one of those two people, it would make sense.

in ‘the aurora strikes’, aurora pushes to save briar rose- nastya explains this as ‘she can not bear to see another biomechanical organism in pain’. in my own writing about aurora, i interpret that as her having very high empathy, but there could be a more personal connection here. this is also notable as the only time aurora is mentioned in-album beyond jonny calling the mechanisms ‘the crew of the starship aurora’.

nastya rasputina

nastya’s backstory song (cyberian demons) was only performed when they were still dr. carmilla and the mechanisms, so it’s harder to find! thevoidsings has made a lyric video of it here, though, and it gives another very clear picture of her backstory! there’s also the fiction of the same name, which i didn’t understand upon first read-through but is basically a nastya character study, covering different points in her immortal life.

her performer went on hiatus for a while, and as an in-universe explanation, the cyberian sequence was written! in which nastya flies aurora to cyberia, infects herself with a computer virus, and transmits it to the entire planet, causing it to explode. this is all in the cyberian demons fiction i linked above, and with it are two other tangential fictions- one presumably just before those events, and one that’s an outsider pov.

there’s also out, which i’d suggest reading rather than just looking at my summary; basically, nastya has a crisis over aurora changing so that it’s harder to recognize her love, and ends up leaving the ship to float away into deep space- this is presumed to be her death, but that is never confirmed and nastya seems to assume she will wake up at some point.

ashes o’reilly

ashes’ whole deal is quite straightforward, which is a nice break from aurora and (to a lesser extent) nastya! their backstory song is lucky sevens, and it’s elaborated on further in their crew bio; interestingly, ashes was the one most into the idea of immortality at first, and also gave clear consent to carmilla.

ivy alexandria

we don’t know that much about ivy, which is fitting, as she doesn’t either! the most clear information we can find about her is in her crew bio, which can be summarized as: she grew up in a library!

archive footage explains more about her memory situation. she has no memories of anything before she was mechanized, according to this line ‘[...] she can tell you dates, and places, and body counts, she can list for you the exact circumstances of each event of her long, long life (at least, every event since that time, long ago, among a maze of bookshelves in a library that, awake, she can no longer describe to you, though once she knew its every turn by heart, when a woman stood over her and offered her eternity: before that, there is nothing at all).’ she also processes her memories differently than most people- they’re more like records, instead of things that affect her emotionally. (archive footage is also beautifully written and very much worth reading!)

the toy soldier

would say it has concrete lore, but it’s also almost solely responsible for fucking up my timeline and the album lore, so i’m rather angry at it. nevertheless, its entire backstory can be found in the fiction ‘the story of the toy soldier’. additionally, there’s a short story about its time fighting in the revolution of once upon a time (in space); presumably, this is the first time it did so, though it was likely in the war at least twice and possibly even three times. the mechanisms were only watching the second time, though it’s not out of character for it to have participated in the war again, and there’s also the dr. carmilla song, eleven, (which is about a war and uses a lot of rose symbology so it’s likely the revolution) where it is present. notably, carmilla had left the mechanisms by the time once upon a time (in space) takes place on their timeline, and the toy soldier is the only one there. at first, i interpreted that as carmilla meeting the toy soldier before it had met the mechanisms, but there’s two inconsistencies there: firstly, it doesn’t recognize her when it joins the band, and secondly, in the song they leave together. this increases the likelihood of it having been in the war three times.

we actually have a recording of the toy soldier’s first time joining the band- the mechanisms @ lashings! (part one / part two / transcript) there’s also a note of that show in the story of the toy soldier! they bought it because jonny was in jail (x). interestingly, that show is the first recording of rose red, and it’s later noted jonny was in a rose red prison!

now it’s time to get into the main theory regarding it, which also will factor into the write-up of ulysses dies at dawn later! i personally subscribe to this theory, or at least, most of it.

here is frankie @byron-von-raum‘s post- the theory here is that the toy soldier is the rebodied mind of the widow’s fiance. i’m not going to get too into that part, as i don’t personally incorporate it into my lore and more importantly frankie already has a post on it! read that if you’re more interested!

the most important bit here is the evidence it collects regarding the toy soldier living near labyrinth; in one of the pictures from the toy soldier’s backstory, there’s a dionysus brand wine bottle. the consensus he comes to is that the toy soldier lives in a colony of earth that trades with labyrinth, and while i think that’s possible, the all-encompassing nature of the city makes it more likely that they would have a minimum of outside communication, so the toy soldier would just be from the city proper. i will get into the impacts of this/expand on it more in the world lore section!

another thing: the angel has an out of character explanation! if you look at photos of old mechs gigs, jessica law looks similar to the drawing of the angel in the story of the toy soldier! their voice being stolen was most likely a reference to that.

drumbot brian

brian’s backstory is laid out in his crew bio! i’d summarize it, but to be honest, it’s already a summary, so i’d suggest just taking a second to read that! sadly, this is all of what we know about it. the priest from his backstory was apparently made almost immortal in some twisted form of mechanization, and has never forgiven brian for it/is still trying to hunt him down (x).

his bio is also where his morality switch is introduced! (interestingly, it takes a far lower role/is mentioned far less in canon than in fanworks.)

there was originally going to be a backstory album about him called indistinguishable from magic. this never happened, but ben below is working on a new one called the wanderings of drumbot brian! no more knowledge on this currently. 

the main theory about him is that he had some kind of alliance/is lying about something to do with carmilla! we know from maki that carmilla didn’t go out of the airlock (more on that in her section), and when brian is questioned on what happened to her, he doesn’t give a concrete answer. this is in contrast to all the other mechanisms, who assume she fell out an airlock. here’s what he said:

I will not point fingers and lay blame. I do not know how it came to pass that Dr. Carmilla left this vessel, whether by fair means or foul, and so I will not engage in this painful discussion. I hope she did not suffer, and that we may forgive the perpetrator of this deed.

he’s speaking very formally here. (fucking nerd). well, no; legitimately, this is not the normal way he speaks in other contexts. he could be masking something. we know that even when he’s lying, he’s not good at it, and this comes off as clearly odd. in support of this, i believe one of the songs on his unwritten backstory album was called ‘the doctor’s demise’ (though i could be remembering incorrectly).

there’s not much more evidence we can draw on here to come to a consensus, though!

something else to note- i’ve written this other meta about his prophetic powers! feel free to read if you’re interested in that aspect of his character!

gunpowder tim

of course, tim already has a whole mini-album to himself (gunpowder tim vs the moon kaiser), but there’s a couple more niche things about him, though not as much as aurora and ts!

mainly, the implications that he destroyed the sun. there’s an old mechanisms tweet that states he 'was floating in the wake of a detonated star’. additionally, there’s this old blog post, which turned into a bit of a fiction! the figure speaking is not named, but given the other mechanisms who speak (therefore knocking them off the possibilities list) and the fact that the post was made around the time tim joined, it’s likely that it’s him. now, he says this:

“It wasn’t the deep space that drove me crazy,” he said, his voice low, calm and polite.  “It was the sudden realisation that I was entirely responsible for the destruction of my entire civilisation, and happy for it.”

though destroying the moon and his other actions in gptvtmk could possibly count for this, it would fit more if he had destroyed the sun.

both those posts also imply that he was floating in space for an incredibly long time. i don’t know how he survived if so, but it seems very likely that’s what happened.

i considered these posts being too early/having a changed canon now, like the odd use of different pronouns for some characters in the earlier fiction, but they seemed to have gunpowder tim vs the moon kaiser mostly worked out by the time tim ledsam officially joined, as they perform it at the only recorded gig from that year with him (port mahon 2011), which was around when the second blog post was made!

marius von raum

we don’t have a written backstory or backstory song to go on for him, but kofi young (his performer) is working on a full album about him called ‘the death of byron von raum’!

the blog post kofi made about it as a summary is the main source of marius lore that we have! i’d highly suggest reading it, but the main points are:

1. it’s going to be very dark and tragic, and shows that marius at heart isn’t really the kind of comedic figure that he comes off as in the band! ruth @thedreadvampy (the mechanisms’ official artist, as well as morgan’s sister and kofi’s partner) has also made a tumblr post that connects to this!

2. the world he’s from used to be high-tech, but has devolved over time into 18th century levels of technology! what this boils down to is; what we assume is marius and an unknown friend (more on this in raphaella’s part) manage to discover ancient technology and attempt to use it! all we have here is this quote om the blog post- ‘In the middle of this, two kids hiding from the soldiers discover an army of ancient mecha and use them to fight back, but only end up plunging the world into further chaos.’.

3. anime protagonist marius!

we also have this small piece of writing, screenshotted here (monogoggle...)-

[image id: a screenshot of writing, most of it out of view/hard to make out. it’s also in the middle of the line, so the breaks are off. however, it looks to say ‘at the controls of RISML/cockpit is cramped and d[...]/has his monogoggle over his/controls are uncomplicated/the neural interface. They [...]’ end id.]

raphaella la cognizi

i’ve been very deep down the mechs rabbit hole for over a month now, and yet i’ve found hardly anything about her!

there’s a small theory i have, though it doesn’t have too much supporting evidence! in marius’ backstory, it mentions two kids, and raphaella and marius joined together (first mention of either of them is together, in this facebook post!) when questioned about marius and raphaella, nastya says a story instead of stories (x). (that post also clarifies that carmilla was not involved in either raphaella or marius’ backstories!) this could potentially point to raphaella being the other person from marius’ backstory. the evidence against it is that if raphaella featured that heavily, r. l. hughes would have said something about the album as well instead of it just being kofi talking about marius, but it’s still interesting to think about!

there’s also a theory that she was the preacher’s daughter from brian’s backstory, but the only real evidence there is that she could have used his tech to mechanize herself (which her doing is only fanon!) and that she performs ‘lost in the cosmos’.

dr carmilla

this is most likely going to be the shortest section, as it’s basically another crew member; that being said, there’s a lot of lore here!

if you haven’t listened to the carmilla albums, i’d really suggest doing that! there’s two- exhumed and (un)plugged and ageha prototype edition! the story there is harder to put together than in the mechs backstories, especially because the songs are mostly out of order, so i’ve decided to just straight up summarize my interpretation, along with what we have to go on from maki, instead of framing it like a theory, as that’s the easiest way! still, please bear all this with a grain of salt- it’s most likely to be contradicted in the new album maki is working on.

carmilla and her girlfriend loreli lived on a planet called terra. for their childhoods, it was a fairly okay place to live (though i elaborate on this a bit in the world lore section!) however, it was bombed; most likely taking the role of an alternate universe hiroshima, as the blurb on her bandcamp says ‘Dr. Carmilla tells the twisted tales of a dystopian future following WWII having ended very differently.‘ after this, the planet sunk into a nuclear winter.

loreli got sick and died; or, she should have, but carmilla saved her by turning her into a vampire as well. this resulted in loreli losing her morals and becoming abusive towards carmilla. carmilla was too deep in love to see this, and stayed in the relationship for several years.

we don’t know what happened to make her strike out on her own, but eventually she did, and created the mechanisms. while with them, she recognized her own failures with loreli, and left the mechanisms (which they all believe was caused by jonny d’ville pushing her out an airlock, rather than her own volition.)

from there, she traveled back in time to the point where loreli was dying, and let it happen- potentially burying herself and loreli alive, which she survived due to her immortality and loreli did not.

however, she was trapped underground for a hundred years. when she is finally found and dug out, she starts enjoying herself (i.e. committing murder). for some unknown reason, she clones herself multiple times, creating the in-universe version of maki yamazaki.

the mechanisms assume she pursued them after she was pushed out of the airlock, and that that was what eleven was about, but i’m not sure why she would do that, given that she left them of her own volition. because of time shenanigans, it could have been far later on her personal timeline; maybe she simply wished to reconnect with them after all those years.

that’s all we have; we don’t know if she died, or anything like that!

world lore

all the folktales and normal history the irl mechs work off of also exist in-universe! (for an example- the toy soldier and ivy start reciting the walrus and the carpenter together in lashings, and the mechs also do alice in wonderland as a song.)

we know the alternate universe theory is correct, mostly because of this piece in the fiction on kofi’s blog-

In those burning instants, he’d feel the weight of it all, and know it was true. The golden age that never came; the city that stood at the dawn of a world instead of in its dying embers. And beyond – to a myriad of Camelots and a thousand thousand Arthurs, unfathomable worlds apart, each different, each fighting the same hopeless battle.

He’d feel the burden of that task pressing down until it felt like it’d crush his chest, and he’d wake every day gasping for breath, feeling older than he ever had, older even than Ector.

And as he screamed inwardly, Galahad would meet his gaze with those crazed eyes of his and grin, and Arthur would know again that whatever had spoken to Galahad was moving him too.

the mechanisms are most likely traveling between several alternate universe versions of folktales, and occasionally alternate versions of earth! (cyberia, tim’s earth, terra...) this is likely why everyone in their stories is human, and is actually low-key evidence against drawing them as aliens (though ofc feel free to have fun!)

i was initially going to put all the album lore in its own separate sections, but a large amount of it is how it intersects with other pieces of lore, and the rest isn’t necessarily niche enough to cite here? my personal advice is that if you want to learn more about the albums, read the fiction! i have a compilation post of all the fiction up on this blog, and you can find it on the website here!

let’s start with the mechanisms’ roles in ulysses dies at dawn, though! we know for sure ashes is hades, brian is the oracle of delphi, and the toy soldier was a nymph (which is actually quite worrying, considering what that means and the inherent issues with consent there, but i digress.) tim most likely took on the role of achilles (more on that here). then, we know some of the mechanisms’ activities and can guess their roles from that. raphaella was helping athena on her research, marius was psychoanalyzing the olympians, and jonny was committing mass murder. it’s a common theory that one (or three) of the mechanisms was cerberus, but sadly i couldn’t find any evidence towards or against that.

i said in the toy soldier’s section that i would talk more about the implications of it being from labyrinth here! the main thing is the fact that, for it to join the rose red war, the city must have interacted with king cole at some point. it’s a risky thing to pose a theory on the toy soldier’s allegiance towards a certain group, but the fact that it seemed to stick with the rose reds here might also mean that the city was, in fact, under king cole’s power. this fits in nicely with the greek mythology aspect of it all; king cole, in that universe, could have been a stand-in for the figure of kronos/saturn!

a few other theories on how the lore intersects:

1. high noon over camelot takes place after the bifrost incident! in terminus, we see communication breaking down, and that could have been the reason the station was isolated. the mechanisms go from it to the bifrost incident, but as they canonically travel in time, that’s not enough to disprove the theory!

2. arthur becomes king cole eventually! this is mostly going off of the fact he’s called ‘the once and future king’, but also the fact that cole used to be considered a good king.

a few loose pieces of worldbuilding:

people from new constantinople seem to be longer lived, and their culture is built around age as a concept. the older you are, the more wise and important you are. specifically, in this fiction, snow is dismissively noted as ‘barely fifty’ and king cole’s age is held up as evidence to why he’s a good ruler.

terra, carmilla’s planet, has two major languages; high terran and low terran! high terran is a more regulated, formal way of speaking, specifically something that only the rich and privileged tend to know. there are many dialects, but the grammar is dictated by the capital. low terran is a creole language formed from several others, including high terran, that most children are taught in school as the baseline. (though they might speak a completely different, less widely spoken language at home!) carmilla speaks low terran but not high terran (although she pretends to know the latter.)

the mechanisms were all (or mostly all) at fort galfridean at one point; don’t have the source to hand, but marius apparently became a prophet to the saxons for staring into the sun for a very long time.

if you’re looking to draw album fanart, there are a few things i know aren’t as widely known; the ones i can think of off the top of my head is orpheus having a ‘foppish haircut’ (the type of thing that falls under that definition is narcissus’ undercut), and snow’s disfiguring scar. there is also official album art; i, personally, have not seen much of it, and i’d encourage coming up with your own character interpretations.

one last theory- it’s highly likely carmilla was involved in the events of the bifrost incident. in the mechscord (sadly, invites are closed due to the difficulty with handling the boom in the fanbase) maki yamazaki has mentioned that part of the criteria for picking a mechanism is ‘good friend for lyf’. at first, i assumed that she meant good friend for life, but when asked on that she was worryingly cryptic (as tends to happen), and she made a joke earlier in character as doc c about accidentally calling odin. though immortal lyfrassier edda most likely became fanon just so they could become a mechanism, this is a piece of evidence towards them actually becoming immortal.

my personal headcanon is that to gain true immortality (which maki has said king cole and the olympians do not have) you have to have some kind of eldritch component, so carmilla had to go to odin for aid. this is supported by the fact that in drive the cold winter away and cyberian demons, their mechanisms are noted as having a rainbow sheen to them!

other lore

scuzz nishimura

scuzz has built up a bit of a reputation for being the ‘cryptid mech’, but her lore is really quite simple! she was a member of the band back when they were doctor carmilla and the mechanisms, but left before they became more popular, so there’s not too much knowledge about her. she appears in this fiction and the only two recorded gigs from that era (lashings and homesick). she’s also visible in several photos!

i know i’ll get people in the notes asking for photos of her if i don’t include any, so have this;

[image id: a cropped picture of scuzz nishimura, looking tired and resting her head on her hand. she looks to be wearing white gloves and some kind of sweater or waistcoat, and her hair is cut short. her cello is also visible, as is someone else’s hand. end id.]

we don’t know too much about her; all we really have is that she was their cello player!

assorted things with no explanation

there’s this old piece from the wayback machine-

[image id: a screenshot of what looks to be the fiction page from a old site for dr carmilla and the mechs. the writing reads;

Writing

( The Aldwich Horror } A short story in which Dr. Carmilla attempts to solve the mysteries of the Aldwich Horror, the strange appearance of a new crew memeber and several zoologically dubious pets.

( Disinterration } A cautionary tale about exhuming corpses.

end id.]

‘disinterration’ is most likely a reference to the carmilla song exhumed, but i’m unsure about ‘the aldwich horror’. the most intriguing bit there is ‘the strange appearance of a new crew member’. i’ve researched the other aspects in an attempt to figure this out. aldwych is a closed london tube station- it served as a bomb shelter during the blitz, which is interesting as both carmilla and tim have backstories involving the world wars (though only carmilla’s is world war ii specifically; tim’s is wwi). the zoologically dubious pets are most likely the octokittens, which we know the toy soldier brought on board, so it would have to be in a place on the timeline after ts joined and before carmilla left. the only mechanism that joins in that space is gunpowder tim, so it’s possible that he is the new crew member.

the mechanisms blogs have a lot of incidental lore, so if you’re this deep in i’d suggest looking at my compilation post of some of my favorite posts of theirs!

and that’s it! we did it! i can finally go to sleep now. i’m so tired. please. i am going to die. i have homework. thank you all so much. please consider coming to my funeral service.

[igotbulletproof-insomnia]

Adopting Bangtan 05

01, 02, 03, 04

Jung Hoseok, age 10

For Jungkook’s sixth birthday, you take all of the boys to a water park. You let them run loose to play on the slides and in the pools while you float along the lazy river with a web novel and a whole lot of sun. Every half hour or so, the boys will come find you and take turns floating with you, from Namjoon reading over your shoulder, to Yoongi lounging away from his brothers, to Seokjin rambling on about his friends at school, to Jungkook telling you the adventures his toys have been on (and reminding you about all the toys he still wants). You even let Namjoon convince you to go down several of the slides, and hold Jungkook when he’s afraid to go down one of the bigger slides for small children.

He’s grown a lot since he came to you almost two years ago and has become an endearingly clingy child. All of the boys are, if you pay enough attention. It’s in the way Namjoon calls when you’re even a little bit late coming home, or Yoongi waits for you to return no matter how late it gets. It’s how Seokjin sneaks into your bed some nights after what you know were nightmares but he’ll never admit to it. It’s how each boy does their best to take care of you in the smallest of ways, and take care of each other when you are too sick or exhausted or -- regretfully -- busy to do it yourself. It was how they each say “I love you,” like a promise or a question or a reminder, and it breaks your heart sometimes, because you know they are afraid you will drop them off somewhere or just up and leave and they won’t see you again. Which is why every so often during the day, you send Seokjin funny twitter posts, and keep up your silly emoji war with Namjoon. You remind Yoongi that he still isn’t allowed to drink coffee for breakfast and don’t he dare buy Jungkook any more snacks.

It’s also why you let the boys drag you over to the giant family slide where you hold Jungkook tight in your lap and sit in the absolute worse position for splashing and you ride that slide a dozen times because the kids are grinning and cheering and so genuinely happy that you’ll drown if it’s what they want.

… You hope that’s not what they want.

"I'm hungry,” Jungkook tugs at your hand after the most recent ride. You check the time on your watch, surprised to see that it’s nearing dinner time.

“Okay, boys,” you announce, “you have two choices, and Kookie’s choice counts twice because it’s his birthday. We can eat here and I’ll let you complain about your stomach aches tomorrow, or we can order from Ahjusshi’s. Which one?”

“Here!” They all chorus. You knew that they would, but you wanted to at least give them the choice. You sigh because you know it’s going to be Jungkook and Seokjin who complain the most tonight, but you also aren’t going to stop them from having fun.

“Okay, Namjoon, Seokjin, you two go find us a table. I’ll take Yoongi and Kookie to go order.” Immediately the boys run off, Kookie’s little feet making pitter-patter noises because he refused to wear the shoes the park provided. They were probably lost somewhere and you just wasted a fair bit of money paying extra for them in the first place.

Twenty minutes later, you pass a child sitting alone on your way to get refills. It’s not like you hadn’t noticed the kid before now. He’s been wiping at his face, head swivelling around as if he is searching for someone. He holds the remains of a candy bar in his fist and a drink cup sits abandoned in front of him. You have been acutely aware of the child. He looks like he could be somewhere around Namjoon or Yoongi’s ages, and you are very sternly talking yourself out of investigating. Maybe you can find another parent to talk to him? Better yet, find a park staff who can page the young boy’s parents. It’s actually a good plan, a solid plan, the plan of a recovering impulsive child adopter.

Wow, that sounds bad, even in your mind.

Naturally, your plan takes a hit when you return to your table to find Jungkook sitting in Seokjin’s lap, Namjoon and Yoongi gone.

“Where…?” You begin to ask, just for Seokjin to point to the table with the lost boy. You’re suddenly hit with the thought that maybe you aren’t the serial child adopter, but your first two knuckleheads might be. You also get the feeling that things are not going to go at all the way that you planned.

“He looked lonely. Kookie was going to go over and give him a cookie,” -- the kid giggles at his own joke, -- “but Yoongi and Joonie told him to stay here while they went to see what’s wrong with him instead.” You nod and put down the drink caddy. Tell Seokjin to keep watching the baby and join the boys at the table with the lost kid.

“... and when I opened my eyes, she was gone,” the kid was explaining. “I thought she maybe got lost, but… I don’t know anymore. That was hours ago.” He looks at the bright blue watch on his wrist.

“Do you know what time that was?” You ask. The kid seems to shrink in on himself, suddenly shy. Or maybe scared. He’s a smart kid, if he’s afraid of strangers. It was more than you could say about Namjoon sometimes. After a long moment, in which Yoongi reaches over to hug your waist and Namjoon asks after the drink he asked for, the kid shrugs.

“I don’t know,” he says. “My watch is broken. But I think I remember when you and the really little one over there got… a cake? I remember thinking it was pretty and I was starting to get hungry again…”

“Are you hungry now?” the kid nods his head slowly and you sigh. “Yoongi-ah. Take this and go get your friend something to eat. What’s your name, kid?” You bought Jungkook the cake shortly after lunch time. If the kid had been sitting here this long waiting for his mother to show up… You mentally shiver at the thought of abandoning a child at a crowded water park. Literally anything could have happened, people these days were creeps. This poor child could have been kidnapped or murdered, or drowned. He could have been sold into a human trafficking ring, anything.

“Jung Hoseok,” the kid tells you, barely audible. You reach your hand out to him and try to use the gentlest smile you could muster. Tomorrow, you’ll have to visit the precinct again to tell them about yet another abandoned child. You’ll offer to take him in until the parents are located at the very least, probably indefinitely, like with Jungkook and Yoongi. You’ll take Hoseok shopping and figure out sleeping arrangements and consider accepting that job that will take you across town and maybe even force you to move house altogether, but will ultimately pay more money, which you certainly need. However, tonight you will take the kid home and get him showered and comfortable enough to wear Seokjin's pajamas and tuck him in with the other boys when they pile up in the living room for their birthday sleepover. With the way Namjoon has already taken to the kid (no surprise there) and Seokjin has started fussing, you know there will be few problems getting him settled into your family.

06, 07