#I feel like I can't hold on to my inspo for one fic just because my brain is working on two others simultaneously

[ghosts-cyphera]

I have so many ideas for ps!ghost that I'm struggling to know what to work on next. this is awful but also feels really good? but also awful because I feel like I'm drowning?? eek

[risuola]

HEADACHE — F. READER x SUKUNA RYOMEN ft. Yuji Itadori

Your head has been killing you all day but you tried to play it off as nothing to not worry your boyfriend, but he noticed and didwhat he could to ease your suffering.

cw: fluff, Itadori is 18 and is a vessel for Sukuna, reader is in pain (duh), things like SA and su1cide are mentioned (nothing discriptive though), there is like, one slightly suggestive joke I guess? it's fluff, let me remind you! — 1,7k words

a/n: yet another fluffed out piece of writing for the king, because I love him struggling to keep his authority, alright? there are also so many fics where Sukuna is just purely violent that I feel like him being everything but violent is very much in demand and I love him more gentle 🖤 i also often get headaches like the one described so it was my inspo, kinda.

It hurt. Your head had been killing you since this morning and slowly it was getting to the point where you couldn't even move. It felt like a storm had been raging inside your skull for hours, you couldn't think, couldn't eat, couldn't concentrate on anything all day, and three painkillers didn't help at all. Your vision was blurry, your balance was off, everything seemed too loud, too close, too bright, too intense. You wanted to scream, you cried, and even begged whatever there is in the universe to just take this pain away.

"I can't," you whispered, crying quietly into your pillow as night fell. "I can't, I can't..." You tried not to wake Yuji, you even acted like it hurt less than it really did, just so he wouldn't worry, but now you couldn't hold it anymore. Your hands were shaking, your vision went black, and you wanted to die.

You got up, quietly and carefully, and slowly padded to the bathroom, feeling your way through the walls because your vision wasn't reliable anymore, and you put your head under the ice-cold water. Unpleasant shivers ran down your spine, your breath came short, but you stayed there, begging the university to ease the agony. And it did, for a moment. It all came back when you threw a towel over your head, unable to withstand the cold anymore. There was no point, you were dying, there was no other way.

Defeated, you dried your hair as best you could and went back to bed, where the moment you laid down, Yuji's arm found its place over your middle. He was still asleep, thankfully, and you pushed a pillow over your face and dived into the darkness.

"Is this suicide?", a voice that you only hoped was the creation of your mind reached your ears and you ignored it for the time being. Yuji was sleeping, he didn't move his hand from over your belly, he couldn't... "It's unwise to ignore me."

"Please, I can't do this now..." you whispered and took the pillows away. It was wet with tears, and so was your face when you looked at him. It was Sukuna, but it seemed like he had very little control over Itadori's body. Or maybe he intentionally kept you close to him so that you would die of a heart attack, but the sudden rush of blood that made your heart pump much faster than usual only made you feel worse.

"You can't do what?"

"Why are you here?" you asked, wiping your face.

"I love watching people suffer, and you seem to be just the kind of show I'd enjoy."

"Of course you do..."

"What is the source of your pain?"

"My head hurts. So fucking bad."

"Poor little human," he chuckled, lifting his head and resting it on his hand for a better view. In any other situation you would have pushed him away, tried to distance yourself, but now you had no power to fight back, so you stayed where you were, in the emotionless embrace of a curse that lives inside your boyfriend.

"If you stepped out to enjoy my pain, please go fuck yourself. Not the best timing, curse."

"How rude," he chuckled, "as if you were in a position to speak to me like that. I can slice you to ribbons before that brat even thinks of taking control back. Oh, imagine how devastated he would be to wake up to the bloody mess of his little girlfriend."

"Oh, sure. How creative, threatening me with death, very original. Perhaps you should surprise me and use your little hocus pocus to ease the pain I feel instead of scaring me."

"You want me, the King of Curses, to heal a human?"

"Kindness would be a good look on you."

"Oh, you're so desperate," he laughed and you covered your eyes with your forearm, already tired of his shit. The silence hurt you, not to mention his amused tone.

"Get lost, Sukuna," you muttered. "If you're not going to help, then stay quiet."

"And who are you to order me around?" his long fingers clawed at your chin, forcing your head in his direction, and you lowered your arm to look at him. Red eyes almost glowed in the darkness of the night, but he looked calm. "Hmm? Little human, have you forgotten where your place is?"

"I know where my place is, but you're in my bed now, so the only rules that apply here are mine."

"What a mouth," he chuckled again. "I can make this headache worse, you know."

"By annoying me to death? You're doing great at that."

It really wasn't wise to push Sukuna's buttons like that, your luck was definitely going to run out sooner or later, and even if you thought you wanted to die because of the headache, that wasn't really what you wished for.

"Sukuna, please, don't be a dick, help a human out."

"Oh, but watching you in pain is so much more entertaining."

"Have you ever tried to be nice, or is the concept foreign?"

"Being nice doesn't hold any power."

"Oh, but it does. When people truly respect you, not because they're scared, that's a different kind of power. And you like power, right?"

"I'm the strongest, I don't care what maggots think of me as long as they kneel in fear."

"If those people are maggots, doesn't that make you like a maggot king or something?"

"Oh, you're pushing your luck."

"Sure, whatever," you smack his hand away from your face and put the pillow back over it. If he's not going to be helpful, what was the point of paying attention to him? Just because he wants it doesn't mean he has to get it.

"And now you plan to ignore me?"

With no answer, you just pressed the plush item harder to your face, hoping that the pressure would soothe you even a little, but no luck.

Sukuna achieved his goal of making your heart beat even faster when he suddenly climbed on top of you, pinning you under his body and throwing the pillow away. Both of your hands he pressed to the bed with only one of his own, and you looked at him with a combination of surprise, confusion, and a glimmer of fear. This was not an ideal situation in any universe.

"What now?"

"Oh, don't be so scared, you wanted me to help you, right?"

"I fail to notice where the helping part is..."

"You humans fail to notice a lot of things."

Ryomen continued to touch you, but his touch felt anything but intimate. It burned, it felt targeted when his palm brushed against your knees or your inner thigh. Wherever he pressed, you felt some pain.

"What on earth are you doin-"

"I advise you to shut up before I change my mind."

And so you did, still unsure of what was happening. Why was this man touching your skin when you could have sworn, he wasn't interested in any kind of human physical touch. He was toying with you, enjoying the way your heart was racing in your chest, how you struggled to free your hands from his relentless grasp, and how you tried so hard to stay calm when he knew your mind was racing 180 miles per hour and off the cliff.

"Such a simple human," he mocked, his fingers brushing way too close to your underwear to go unnoticed, and your hips bucked up to create just a little more distance. This had to be another kind of torture and he was having fun making you so pliable. His eyes never left your face and you struggled to maintain eye contact. "What if I opened a mouth on the palm of my hand right now?" he teased, and you didn't get the subtext at first, but once you did, the vision struck you in a way it shouldn't have.

"Christ, you're more perverted than I suspected a curse would be," you muttered, turning your head to the side, creating an opening for him to kiss the tear off your cheek.

"You don't know much about curses, sweetheart," he laughed directly into your ear, brushing it with his lips as he moved his hand higher, sliding it under your blouse to your hip. "There are some mindless curses out there that only focus on sexually abusing their victims." This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. But his tone didn’t change, he was amused more than anything. "But I'm not a simple, horny curse, don't be so afraid. I'm the king."

"For a king, you do kinda often need to remind people about it..." you muttered, breathing in and out, focusing on this simple thing to avoid turning into a mess.

"Remember my advice?"

"Yup."

You closed your mouth and a wave of pulsating pain washed over your whole body again, radiating from your head as if a bomb had just exploded here. You closed your eyes tightly, tears once again threatening to flow from under your squeezed eyelashes. It hurt so much that you couldn't think straight, everything was blurry and you had trouble even recognizing the man above you. You wanted to pull your hands out of his hold, to put them on your temples, to do anything to ease the throbbing ache, but he wouldn't let you.

His hand pressed against your forehead. A moment later, the grip on your wrists loosened and the man rolled off you, taking a place beside you and pulling you into his chest. When you opened your eyes, no sign of black marks met your sight.

"Did he help you?" Yuji asked, his voice soft and cooing, but with worry clearly intertwined with his words. "Does it still hurt?"

"Huh?"

"Your head, does it hurt?"

"No... You asked him for it?"

"Yeah... I noticed you were in pain today, but you tried to play it off as nothing. And you didn't sleep and cried and I saw how many pills you took and still hurt," he spoke so softly, kissing your head tenderly and caressing your back with care and affection. "I'm sorry, I guess he had to scare you a little because, you know... ego."

"Thank you, baby," you pressed your lips to his chest, nuzzling into him even more.

"Oh, don't be, you know I'd do anything for you."

Next day you noticed that every bruise you had on your body wasn’t there anymore. Every hurt you earned through your every day clumsiness and trainings disappeared.

So that’s why Sukuna was touching you.

[itsmealaiah]

Female reader x 2009 bill (Dreads) trying out sexting and they end up videocalling but bill can't get enough so he comes to yn's house and he ask her to ride his face (LOVE YOUR BILL SMUT)

aw thank you bb! sorry this took so long i'm very tired currently

I've gone mad

tags/ warnings: facesitting/ riding, sexting, nude videocalling, desperation on bill's end, phone sex, dirty talk, p0rn w/o plot

a/n: inspo from @hockeymenarehot highly suggest you go check their works and fics out, they are absolutely amazing.

MDNI ⚠️

pairing: bill x fem

Your POV:

It was late, ungodly late, as I kept on texting bill. We had been texting for hours on end as I began to yawn, my fingers still working at the keys on the flip-phone, when bill sent something that blew me back a little, my eyes widening in discomfort.

"can you send me a little something baby? just to keep me company?" he asked, and I gasped softly. I didn't know what to do, whether to send it or not, my mind torn in two. I was shaking when I replied "why?" he didn't respond for a second, probably thinking about the reason. "because it'd be nice for me to have a pretty photo of you baby, to have in my phone" I blushed deeply, my face turning a bright primrose red.

I sighed, calming myself and deciding to just to do, to get it over with. I walked into my bedroom, stripping my clothes off and positioning the camera at an angle so that it captured all of me, and when it was good enough, I sent it nervously, apprehensive of the photo, wondering if he was really going to like it.

"Fucking God" he replied. "call me" he demanded, and I dialed his number, seeing his face coated in sweat, getting straight to the point. "can you do something for me baby?" he asked, voice sweet as honey as I nodded.. "rub your clit with your fingers darling" he commanded, and I began to trace small circles on my folds "lean the phone down so I can see your pretty little pussy baby" he spoke in a whisper.

I faced the camera to my clit, now puffy from my actions. "push your fingers in there love, and hold the phone extra close" "okay" i obliged, slipping one finger in, and he groaned, demanding another. I whimpered, not sure if I could stretch out that far. "s'okay baby, you can do it" I whined, throwing another into the mix, hitting that soft spot that made me cry out in pleasure each time.

"Oh!" I shrieked, the heightened sensation absolutely amazing, feeling it all as I rubbed my clit thoroughly, making sure I didn't tilt it away from bill's view. "doing so good love" he moaned. "bill? you okay?" i questioned. "m'fine love, keep talking for me" he stated. "imagine i'm there baby" he planted the idea in my subconscious, and I gulped. My fingers were still working at my aching pussy, desperate for bill's cock. I arched my back up off the bed, finding a new spot to thrust my fingers in.

"F-fuck!" I moaned, my eyes squeezing shut. "Oh my god!" I screamed, dropping the phone on my lower abdomen, clutching the sheets as I came, my juices covering the white cloth, my thighs shaking with the force. "baby?" he asked, worried. "where'd you go?" he sounded fearful. I picked up the phone, holding it above my face. "right here" i panted.

"what happened?" he questioned, and my face heated up. "just dropped it by accident" I breathed, trying to catch my breath. "oh okay" he groaned, and I knew what was happening. He was jerking off. "Bill.." I trailed off, curious. "what're you doing?" "nothing baby- ngh" he moaned once more, and he faced the end of his phone down, making me gasp as I saw his dick, reddened at the tip, all veiny. "oh bill" I whined. his hand returned to the length, stroking it hard as I watched, my mouth open, practically drooling at the sight.

He released, coating his hand with the thick ropes of cum, and I didn't tear my eyes away for one second. I licked my lips, needy for his touch, his hands working at my body. I was in a state of pure lust, almost in a trance as I asked for him to come over, and less than a minute later, he was pulling up his pants, rushing to his car to get to my apartment.

30 minutes later

I heard a knock at my door, signaling bill was here. I didn't really put any clothes on, staying in my bedroom completely butt-ass naked as I opened the door, and bill took in my body once more, inhaling a sharp breath as he slammed the door, and picked me up over his shoulder, my legs held by both his hands.

He placed me on the bed, lying on his back as he beckoned me closer to me. "do something for me darling" I tilted my head. "what?" "sit on my face baby" I blushed, but also grew fearful. "won't I crush you? I want you to breath" I rasped out, my voice barely audible. "I'll be fine, trust me" he attempts to reassure me, almost begging. "promise?" "promise"

I scoot up his chest, gathering the courage to finally make my way up on his face, and he grasps my thighs, currently draping over each side of his head. His tongue prodded up and down my still wet folds, as I gasped, my hands going straight for the headboard, thighs clenching around his head. He slipped them apart, and held me down tightly, running that godforsaken tongue up and down my folds, teasing me, as I moaned softly, still holding onto the headboard. "Oh" I moan, trying to grasp the feeling of his soft piercing on my clit, rubbing it back and forth.

He was lapping at my slick, absorbing the juices threatening to spill, from my hole, while I was attempting to keep my noises in, my body convulsing as I did so. Caressing my thighs, he kept on licking, sucking harshly on the bud of my flesh, biting it as I writhed above him, my eyes fiercely shut, trying to keep myself awake. "ah!" I let out a whine, and he smiled against me. "good girl" he praised against my pussy as I felt a tear drop down my cheek, my hips grinding against his face, seeking more stimulation.

"a little needy, are we?" he smiles, gazing up to my eyes. I nodded in desperation, pushing my hips down even further, if that was even possible. His tongue piercing was cold, and it felt amazing. I didn't stop grinding, rutting my hips up and down his face, his nose often hitting my clit, causing me to cry out and another tear to stroll down my fucked-out face. "bill.." I whimpered. "shh baby, let me do all the work, you just sit there and look pretty, okay?" I agreed weakly, trying to nod but my neck gave out. I felt my release building up, his nose prodding deeper as I came on his face, spraying my cum everywhere.

"did s'good love, gonna have to let me do that again"

and i did.

a/n: trying to do some johnnie reqs so feel free to send those in!

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

10 Jikook Fanfictions Part 1

I said I'd make a list before the end of the year and I kept my promise. Now, it's difficult to choose, especially when I have more than 300 bookmarks and unfortunately I also started doing that some year and a half ago. Safe to say, there's probably plenty of good fics I read that are now lost. Anyway, enough with the boring chit chat, here's 10 random jikook fics in no particular order and most likely, several other parts will follow, probably next year 😉

1. Dead in the Water

It's been a couple of years since I read this and honestly, I barely remember much, but what I do know it's that it had an impact on me. Usually fics that have death as a central theme end up resonating with me, but perhaps it's because I've always been attracted to more darker fiction. This one is gritty and there's a lot of pain and I must have cried a lot (those tend to stick in my head)

2. we're holding hands beneath the silver screen

I think this story is taking place in the 90s (you'll see that a lot of the fics I recommend are taking place in the past). I think I ended up reading everything ChimneyCricket wrote, but this one remained a favorite. Coming of age during a summer in Jeju in the 90s. Apart from the theme, it's the writing that made me stick with it.

I'm not the biggest fan of young adult stories. Or better yet, it's not something that I'd go to as a preference. When I do, it's more of an indulgence and thankfully, I found some writers (like this one) who can do a really good job with the genre.

3. Stockwell

Another writer that I've become a big fan of after reading one fic of theirs. And I think it might have been Stockwell that did it for me. I like that it's fanfiction with adult themes for an adult audience. And I also resonate with a lot of the cultural references and themes. I will also admit that this fic leaning into the enemies to lovers trope was a selling point because I'm a sucker for it. I can't help myself.

4. Burn for You

This is a complete self indulgence for me and I embrace it. Just like watching Bridgerton is a guilty pleasure for which I don't actually feel guilty (and the inspo for this fic). This story has everything and I must say the combination of lust, fear of revealing feelings, rumors, proper behavior and hidden romance is a lethal combination!

5. Light of a century

I might have recommended this story before, but it being inspired by Up on Poppy Hill is not just due to the plot, but the writing is able to evoke that studio Ghibli mood. This fic is to be read on a hot weekend afternoon.

6. Map of the Soul

This might be one of the most complex fanfictions I read due to the amount of research needed, but also in the depiction of political contexts and identity politics. Most of all, I like it because as much as relationships are a vital part of the story, there is an entire world surrounding the main characters. Events and other people that have also room to develop and not just remain props that advance the story.

7. Proceed with Caution

I don't know what snatchim did with this fic, but it's the only one I ever reread multiple times and I'll probably do it again in the future. I don't even reread books from my library, let alone fanfics. But Proceed with Caution did it for me. Perhaps it's because of the process of Jungkook inevitably falling for Jimin and even though it's a bad thing considering the context, it's so good. Maybe it's the image of Jimin with a bellybutton ring or maybe because the picture of hot Californian days in the 70s is so vivid, it feels like a nostalgic Paul Thomas Anderson movie.

8. Dishwater World They Said Was Lemonade

The description does not do this story justice because it's so much more than that. It's a canon compliant thriller with really complicated and complex characters and once again, a story meant for adults who understand that it's fiction. Unfortunately, judging by the comment section, a lot of people cannot distinguish betweem real people and characters. For those of you who might be fans of Korean thrillers, this story might be the one for you. It's also one of my favorite jikook fics as well.

9. souvlaki

Need I say more, considering the description? This is a self indulgence as well, but of a different kind. If I happily read tropey fics, I also like the ones that can sound like a uni course. Set during the 1997 FMI crisis in SK, any reader will get familiar with a socioeconomic and political perspective of that time through the eyes of the main characters. If you're only looking for romance, this one is not for you.

10. you wouldn't remember

I think littleflumes might be currently my favorite writer of canon compliant jikook. I think the author really captured their dynamic in its essence and the room left for fiction perfectly fills in the holes left in the last 2 years and up until the present. But what did it for me, not only with this story, but the others in the series as well, is that it's concentrated almost entirely on the two main characters, almost living in a bubble of their own in which their relationship can be explored.

[ellabsprincess]

Hi sweet pea.Could you write something about reader being in a famous like rock or metal band and basically being a total slut but then she gets a girlfriend (Ellie) and tells everyone she has a girlfriend but not showing anyone what Ellie looks like or telling them her name and then one day reader is doing an interview with another band who they are on tour with and talks about having a girlfriend and the other band is like wtf no u don’t ur literally a whore and then reader brining Ellie out to show them

it’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable doing this okay bye love you <3

omfg sweat pea??? literally marrying you rn cause that's so cute!! also i literally LOVE this idea like rockstar ellie has been on the brain!!

also i followed the main inspo of your ask, but changed it slightly, sorry!! i just think it fit better as i was in the middle of writing!

enjoy my love!!

p.s. love you too!!

"rock n' fucking roll" (rockstar!ellie x rockstar!reader)

word count: 3.5k

warnings: 18+, lowercase intended, switch!ellie, switch!reader, marijuana use, ellie is kinda a loser for reader, twinge of angst from ellie, smut, they fuck while high but they're like barely high, ellie has a happy trail and a hairy pussy, cunnilingus, nipple sucking, fingering, relationship talk, love confessions, mutual pining, reader has nipple piercings bc i'm living vicariously through this

also i am not really knowledgable of bands, music, or performing, so if something is inaccurate, you saw nothing...

important note: ellie and reader are referred to as "sluts" in this fic. that is simply for the purpose of the story and because the anon asked for that specific element. i do not encourage or condone slut shaming of any sort

tags: @m-3-ijiworld @seraqhites @uraesthete @hehatesmati @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @elliespookie @dropsofs4turn @millersaurora @jjmaybankslittleslut @lonelyfooryouonly

wanna join my tag list? click here

can't stay at home, can't stay in school

old folks say, "you poor little fool"

down the streets i'm the girl next door

i'm the fox you've been waiting for

hello, daddy, hello, mom

i'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb

the music is deafening in your ears as you begin to perform. singing your heart out to the angry and aggressive beat, with ellie by your side on bass, and dina behind you on drums.

the venue was dirty and full of drunk and stumbling people, but you didn't care. not when the sound of the bass was nearly rupturing your eardrums as you swayed your hips in your miniskirt and pranced across the stage, mic in hand. your thighs were adorned with provocative garters and ripped tights, and your shirt was a 90's baby tee with some alt band's logo plastered on the front. you were a perfect mix of girly, provocative, and alt, just unashamed to be yourself when on stage.

ellie was quite the opposite next to you. her dirty and beaten black converse stomped the floor to the beat of dina's drums. she wore ripped, tight jeans, with a vintage flannel opened over a white wife pleaser.

her guitar was cherry red, almost the same shade as the lipstick you were wearing, and she had her signature rainbow guitar strap slung over her shoulder.

pouring your soul out into the lyrics and feeling the music, you fell to your knees on the dirty stage, whipping your hair around messily as you stared into the audience. you felt ellie get closer to you, standing just above you and looking down at you with a nefarious glint in her eyes as her fingers flew over her guitar strings.

the song finally came to an end, and you sung the lyrics as you continued to hold ellie's gaze.

hello world i'm your wild girl

i'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb

cherry bomb

cherry bomb

cherry bomb

cherry bomb

cherry bomb

ellie strung her guitar a few more times, letting the sound echo through the room before reaching her hand down to grab you by the chin, pulling your head upwards and signaling you to stand up. her signal of dominance sent the crowd into a frenzy. cheers and screams filled the room as you heard distant comments like "i love you ellie!!" and "top me please ellie!"

you just rolled your eyes at the panic of the crowd. you were used to ellie's stage antics at this point, and you knew it was for nothing more than attention and crowd engagement. besides, you always had your own fans at the shows. finally standing to your feet and catching your breath, you spoke into the mic.

"thank you all so much for coming out tonight, you guys were amazing! have a great night!"

you, ellie, and dina all threw up peace signs at the cheering crowd before retreating backstage. the three of you were exhausted, all covered in sweat but high off adrenaline and the praise of your fans.

you all entered the green room and found yourselves collapsing into the nearest chairs. ellie handed you and dina bottles of water to ease your sore throat and dehydrated states.

"wow, what a fucking night," ellie commented.

"yeah, i think you made about half the girls out there drop their panties," you teased.

"oh shut up."

"come on, don't act like you don't know what you're doing," dina chimed in.

ellie could only laugh and roll her eyes before letting her head roll back and rest on the plush chair, too tired to argue with the both of you.

after a few minutes of reflecting on the night's show and wolfing down water and snacks, you noticed dina making her way out of the room. when you asked her where she was going, she explained that she had made plans earlier with her friend jesse and was going to be out the whole night. how she had the energy to go out after that show, you had no idea, but you honestly didn't care in your exhausted state.

you suddenly realized how much pain you were in, and how uncomfortable and sticky your outfit had become, and you felt a need to change immediately. all you wanted was just to go back to the band trailer and slip on some comfy clothes and relax the rest of the night.

ellie clearly had similar ideas.

"hey, wanna go back to the trailer and smoke and chill the rest of the night?"

"fuck yeah"

back at the trailer, you wasted little time before making a beeline for the shower. you nearly moaned at the pleasurable feeling of washing away all the sweat and exhaustion from your skin. you probably wasted too much time in that small room, but you didn't care. stepping out of the cramped bathroom in nothing but tiny sleep shorts and a tank top, you found ellie relaxing on her bunk. she had stripped down to her wife pleaser and some black boxers, and was scrolling through her phone.

hearing you move towards her, she looked up at you, sitting up to grab and light the blunt hastily thrown on the table near her bunk. as you crouched down to sit next to her, you didn't notice how she looked you up and down, staring at your chest through your thin top.

were those nipples piercings?

her thoughts were interrupted as you held out your hand to take the blunt from her, taking a long drag and turning your head to blow the smoke away from where you were sitting. you took another, shorter, drag before passing it off to ellie. she took the blunt between her fingers with a shaky grip, and nearly choked on her inhale as if it was her first time smoking. she couldn't take her eyes off of you.

she shamefully stared at your soft thighs barely hidden and covered by your short shorts and your tits perfectly in her eye level as you relaxed and enjoyed the beginning of your high. you looked tired, but blissful and almost angelic. her heart ached and longed for you, tired of her desperate stage antics just for an ounce of your attention, and a second to stare into your pretty eyes.

she wanted you so bad. she wanted your body, of course, but she wanted your heart even more. her chest twinged with pain every time she heard you laugh loudly at someone else's joke, or when she pretended to be asleep as you got fucked by some random chick in your bunk after a show. your moans were just too pretty to sleep through, and she wanted to commit them to memory so she could imagine it was you under her every time she had a quick fuck on a bathroom counter.

she always left those girls satisfied, and she gained quite the reputation as a good lay among the fanbase, but it was never enough. every time she made a girl cum on her tongue, or fucked someone until they were dripping all over her strap, she just imagined it was you. not as a one-night thing, but as her girlfriend.

of course that would never happen. you didn't do relationships. you were a rockstar and you were on the road constantly, who had the time? you only wanted to get off and forget a girl's name the next morning. you would never want ellie. you would never love her, never belong to her, never moan "i love you" as she fucked her strap into you over and over-

"earth to ellie?" you looked at her concerned, your eyes wide.

"oh shit, sorry. my bad." she had drifted into her own mind, and had been holding the blunt, sitting and dreaming about you for the past few minutes, without addressing you or caring to even pass the blunt back.

"it's fine, are you okay?"

"yeah, m'good."

"okay, will you pass me the blunt then?"

ellie didn't know what came over her. maybe it was her starting to feel her high, the slight fuzziness in her brain, or maybe it was just exhaustion.

"actually, no."

"no??" you responded, looking both offended and confused.

"no, we're gonna talk instead."

"ellie we can talk and smoke-"

"no, i need you to hear me."

"okay, els, you're freaking me out." you backed away from her slightly, your eyes narrowed, confused by the change from her usual kind nature to this abruptness and rudeness.

"sorry, i don't mean to scare you, i just..." she sighed. "i'm fucking tired of this shit. i'm tired of what's going on with us. it needs to end." shock was evident across your face.

"ellie, what? are you tired of the band, a-are you tired of me?"

"no! i mean, yeah, but that's not it."

"ellie just fucking spit it out!"

"i'm in love with you!"

your eyes softened, and your mouth gaped slightly.

"i'm in love with you and i have been for a while," ellie's voice quieted, and she looked down at her lap, unable to meet your gaze. "i'm tired of pretending like i don't want something with you. all those stage antics, fooling around and flirting with you in front of our fans? i just want you to look at me. and i fuck around with the fans because i have to distract myself from you or else i'll lose my mind. and i'm fucking tired of hearing you fuck other girls out there when i know i could treat you so much better. i just want you, and i'm tired of pretending that i don't." ellie sucked in a deep breath, almost winded from her rant. she slowly looked up, to find you looking at her with tears in your eyes.

"wha-," she started before you were practically leaping into her lap. you grabbed her face in your hands, forcing her to look at you.

"els, you have no idea how long i've waited to hear that."

you crashed your lips onto hers, meeting in a messy and desperate kiss. she whined into your mouth as you licked at her bottom lip, relishing in the fact that you were finally able to kiss her. pulling away, you left her breathless.

"sooo, you feel the same way?" ellie was flushed bright red, but all you could stare at was the love in her eyes and the prominence of the small freckles all over her nose and cheeks.

"yeah, i do. i love you, els."

"fuck me..."

"planning on it," you quipped back with a giggle and a smirk on your face.

"oh no, i didn't mean- we don't have to if you don't want to. we can go out on a date first, take it slow if you-" you stopped her ramblings with a kiss.

"els, i've been wanting to do this for so long. we're gonna this right now, okay? unless you don't want to, or?"

"no no i definitely want to i just wanted to make sure you didn't feel like we were rushing this."

"not at all, baby," you said with a smile, returning your lips to hers as as the kiss quickly got heated. ellie was whining into your mouth as her hands found your hips and your hands started to travel up under her wife pleaser. you started to tease her, finding that she had gone without a bra as your fingers brushed the underside of her small tits, making her shiver. her hands traveled lower on your body, cupping your ass and massaging lightly as you both moaned quietly, full of desperation and overwhelmed from the relief of the pent-up tension between you.

"fuck, els, go ahead and lay back for me,"

ellie looked up at you with a puzzled look on her face. "what, oh no, you really don't have to, this isn't about me."

"i promise i want to, okay? now lay back and let me play with that pretty pussy."

ellie nodded reluctantly, before laying back on the bed. you slid down to the floor so you were kneeling between her spread thighs, taking in the sight before helping ellie slide her boxers down her legs.

you could've cum from the scene before you. ellie was looking up at you with pure need in her eyes, desperate to feel your mouth, your fingers, whatever you would give her. she was absolutely dripping, so worked up just from kissing you, and her pussy was so pretty. she had a gorgeous happy trail leading down to her hairy pussy, and you couldn't believe it was all just for you.

"again, you really don't have to, girls usually don't-"

"shut up and let me taste you"

you dove in, your tongue finding her clit and causing her to moan above you, her thighs closing around your head before your grabbed them and pinned them to the bed. you finally reach her needy hole, already clenching and dripping for you as you start to fuck into her. you were moaning at the sweet taste of her as she pleaded above you.

ellie feels like she's in a dream. the girl she's been miserably pining over for months actually loves her back, and now that girl is between her thighs doing magical things with her tongue. already she's overwhelmed because no one's really ever pleasured her like this before, and she still can't believe that it's you that's making her feel like this.

"gonna use my fingers now, okay?"

ellie can only let out a high pitched whine as you take you hand off of one of her thighs, and bring it to her hole as your tongue finds her clit again. you suck lightly on her throbbing clit as you plunge your fingers in, slipping in easily from all her arousal and your spit.

you look up at her, making eye contact as you find that sweet spot inside her, speeding up the pace of your fingers to hit that spongey spot over and over again. ellie was seeing stars, and she was already embarrassingly close to cumming.

"fuck...gonna......cum....fuck"

"shh, baby, just relax. cum on my face els, i know you can do it baby."

without warning, her thighs tremble uncontrollably and she gushes all over the lower half of your face. you fuck her through her orgasm, slowly pumping your fingers in and out as you lick up her juices and carefully leave feather-light kisses all over her sensitive pussy.

she sits up on her elbows, smiling down at you as you finally pull away from her, putting your soaked fingers in your mouth and sucking, tasting her once more.

"holy fuck, baby. you're gonna be the death of me," ellie teases breathlessly. "now get your ass up here so i can return the favor."

you obey, climbing up into her lap. she smirks knowingly when she feels the wet fabric of your sleep shorts touch her thigh. her hands find the hem of your tank top, meeting your eyes for permission before slowly pulling the clothing off of you. she gasps when she sees that her suspicions were correct.

adorning your pretty puffy nipples are cute heart-shaped nipple piercings. her mouth gapes wordlessly, and you start to get worried at her silence.

"do you not like them?"

"oh my god, no, baby, i love them, i'm just speechless because they're so fucking pretty."

"oh," you giggle at her astonishment. "do you wanna suck on them?"

ellie doesn't even answer you before her mouth is latching onto your left tit, bringing her hand up to circle and pinch your right nipple as her tongue starts to flick deliciously and she starts to suck lightly.

you moan and gasp at every suck and lick, the pleasure almost overwhelming on your sensitive nipples. you grab ellie's hair harshly, pulling her hair impossibly closer, and feeling yourself soak your shorts even more when ellie moans at your roughness.

you start grinding yourself on ellie's thigh, seeking pleasure and relief from the wet mess that is now between your legs. "ellie…mmmf….need your fingers baby."

only continuing to worship your tits, ellie takes her free hand and snakes it down into your pants, moaning when she feels how you've dripping down your inner thighs. she circles your clit lightly before finding your hole and sliding two fingers in. her fingers move slowly, as she wants to savor the moment and the feeling of your puffy nipples in her mouth.

she continues alternating between your tits, making them shine in the light from all her spit. you move your hips to the rhythm of ellie's fingers, fucking them deeper into you. ellie is relentless on your tits, absolutely fixated on them as well as the feeling of your dripping and clenching pussy on her fingers.

you moans start to get louder as you let our desperate pleas for your release, babbling incoherently.

"ellie, please let me cum, oh god i just wanna cum."

ellie detaches from your nipple for just a few seconds to answer you, "cum for me baby, never said you couldn't."

and so you do, feeling your release drip all over ellie's hand as she enjoys the last few moments of her mouth on your tits, sucking on them through the waves of your orgasm before finally moving away, not wanting to painfully overstimulate you.

you're both speechless, just enjoying the bliss of your orgasms that is heightened by the few hits you took earlier.

"wow," you say, your thoughts too flighty to think of a more coherent statement.

"yeah, wow." ellie agrees.

wordlessly, she kisses your forehead and moves to place you down on the bed. she grabs washcloths and clean clothes from your bunk, cleaning you and herself up, wiping away all the sweat and cum. she helps you into your new clothes, and she dresses herself in comfortable sweats before moving to lay down next to you.

your mind is now clear of the fog from your orgasm, but the exhaustion has finally hit you, and you feel yourself drifting off as ellie pulls you into her muscular arms.

"love you els"

"love you more than you'll ever know, baby"

1 YEAR LATER ...

"thank you so much madison square garden, you've been amazing! have a great night, we love you new york!!" you call out in the roaring crowd, signaling the end of your show as you make your way off stage, ellie and dina in tow.

you enter the green room, in disbelief and still riding the high of the show as you're met with the sight of your opening acts relaxing and enjoying the refreshments and peace of backstage.

"holy fuck babe, i can't believe we just played the garden!!" ellie comes up behind you, scooping you up in her arms and kissing you passionately.

"i know els!! i'm so proud of us!!"

"get a room you two," dina grumbles, making you roll your eyes playfully.

"babe? that's a surprise," a voice calls from the other side of the room. your head whips around to find it belongs to the lead singer of the first opening act for your show.

"excuse me?" you ask, your tone clearly full of annoyance and surprise.

"well, sorry, just never thought that either of you sluts would commit to a chick," he comments, smiling devilishly at your surprised look.

"what the actual fuck is your problem dude?" ellie shouts, before you can even think of a response.

"in my book, once a slut, always a slut," he taunts, causing a small chorus of laughter among his bandmates.

you and ellie move in sync towards the man, but a flash of dark brown hair is faster. dina steps in front of the man, winds up, and punches him clean in the nose, causing him to stumble backwards and fall as he trips over his own feet.

you and ellie stare in shock at dina's actions.

"i'd suggest you get the fuck out of here," dina says, seething. the band members quickly scramble to the feet before practically sprinting out of the room. "oh, and you're never opening for us again, you sick fucks!"

dina smiles as they exit the room, before turning to you and ellie as you're both still frozen in shock.

"what? no one messes with my favorite couple."

<3 <3 <3

hope y'all liked this!! i honestly love the rockstar au and i'm totally willing to do more fics and drabbles with these characters!! send me some asks if y'all want more :)

[toomuchracket]

im not kidding i reread the boat angst saga at least 2 times a week. it’s so good.

if you’re not planning that to be a fic maybe you could write birthday party angst? like they’re both on separate tours (satvb and her book tour.) and they haven’t seen each other in awhile which transpires in to a fight about how either one doesn’t make enough time for each other (maybe leading to a “break” that only really last a few days and the entire time matty is beating himself up over it. or if you want to make it ESPECIALLY messy, he could have had a misunderstanding and thought maybe she was cheating on him?) could also work for flatmate. like he’s all consumed with his tour until he comes back to find girlie throwing herself in to a case (aka not making time for him.) which leads to them fighting, and her thinking he’s undermining her work. (maybe pre-kids)

i love the birthday party idea especially, but i might take inspo from the other one too!! thinking maybe matty gets a bit miffed that you can't always talk to him during the day (for you), because you have MULTIPLE events/appearances scheduled per day (podcasts, interviews, etc. on top of talks and presentations and book signings) - for some reason, he doesn't seem to get that, prob because his version of tour is so different from yours. idk, maybe he feels like he's putting all the effort in and it's not reciprocated, which really isn't true given that you're literally flying out to see him in a week after your own (lengthy) tour ends, and you get quite upset about it and say something like "well, now you know how it feels for once", and it starts a whole argument about how he asked you to come on tour with him last time and you said you couldn't because you had final drafts and editorial meetings and things that are really a lot easier to do when you're at home. maybe he says something quite cold and condescending about how that all seemed like a fucking shit excuse for not going, because he's a writer too AND he has to record and he can do it all while he's touring, and you get extremely upset because a) he's making it seem like his work is more important than yours, and b) he's disregarding the fact that he can only do everything at once because he doesn't have to do it all himself like you do. and matty lets his frustration get the better of him and says something like "well, it's not like anyone could work with you anyway, too fucking stubborn to compromise", and you just go SILENT and then say "ok. i'll just refund the plane tickets for coming out next week, then, since i can't compromise. bye. i'll maybe see you when you get back to london. but i'm not holding my breath" - he's like "whatever", and assumes you're bluffing, but you're dead serious. not that he bothers calling, because he's just as stubborn as you and neither of you want to be the person to cave first and call the other, but he does go to the airport the day you're meant to fly out to pick you up, and fucking PANICS when your flight gets in and you don't appear; only then does he phone you to question where you are and if you're ok, and you coolly say "i did tell you i wasn't coming. my lack of ability to compromise didn't tip you off?", and matty honest to god starts crying about how he was an arsehole and fucked up and how he didn't really mean any of it and he really does love you. he's giving it "i'll fly home now i'll fucking do it. i need to sort this", and you're like "no, finish the tour. i don't need you resenting me for anything else about it" - your voice cracks on that last sentence, and he feels like he's going to throw up with guilt. but you do love him, and you really miss him, so you forgive him eventually after you talk when he gets home. things take a while to get back to the way they were, and even then they're never quite the same again; not in a bad way, just in the two of you being kinder to each other about processes and touring and respecting each other's work. kinda wwat vibes, actually <3

[tackytigerfic]

hiiii tacky!!! idk if you're comfortable sharing, but if your are... what is your writing process like? are you a more like linear narrative person where you come up with an idea followed by a plot line or do you come up with like a piece of dialogue first and then write around that? do you use music, shows, other fics, real life for inspo or is it all kinda just ur imagination? lol i personally just adore your fics so i would love to hear how they come about :))

hello Anon! First of all, thanks so much for sending this ask. I always love reading other people's posts about their process so this was a really interesting one for me to think about. And I'd be delighted to share, though I can't promise it'll be anything profound!

I'm the opposite of a linear narrative planner type tbh. Whenever I try that approach, it always feels really flat and uninspired. I have a WIP at the moment that came to me in quite a plotty, formal way—it's a fic where there's an emergency at Hogwarts and Albus and Scorpius go missing, and Harry and Draco go there together and have to get their sons back (and fight the Giant Squid). I had an overarching idea, and a flashback/flashforward format with all the scenes I needed. But when I went to write it, it dragged and dragged. I hope to go back to it but I think it really needs to be shaken up!

Normally however, every fic I write begins with an idea for one particular moment or scene. It's almost like a camera flash, like an illumination, a moment of clarity where I can just grasp the mood of this tiny snapshot within the narrative. So everything I write becomes about getting to that moment and capturing the feel of it as truly as I can. It's hard because sometimes, as I write, there's a slippage between what I have in my head and what comes out on paper. My best fics (in my opinion) are the ones where the finished piece matches up with the vision/feel I had in my head.

So in Modern Love, that scene was the kiss in the church. Which, if you've read the fic you'll know, comes almost at the very end. So i basically wrote 60k to get to that: "Draco presses into him, and Harry can feel the answering press of the altar rail behind his thighs, and Draco bends him backwards so his body is a tightly-strung bow, and Draco is leaning over him, holding him up, and they’re still kissing, kissing, kissing."

In Unpin, it was the scene where Harry and Draco are getting into their uniforms in the changing room, and Draco can hear Harry unbuttoning his robes: "The buttons are tiny, impossibly delicate-looking, but he tells me they’re virtually indestructible. I can actually hear the whisper of the buttons as he nudges them shut, that gentle sussurating scratch of the edge of each one as he eases them through the buttonholes.'The kirin horn has protective properties, Malfoy,' he told me smugly when he bought them. 'And,' he added, like the sanctimonious prick he is, 'they look great.'"

In Power Lines, it was the scene with Draco floating in the sea: "They swam every afternoon, Harry mostly floating, blinking up at the flat blue sky, Malfoy with his shoulders pink and peeling and his wet hair bleached like bone from the sun. His Mark had faded over the years, though it was still ugly, and he had a ropey, reddened scar curling around the bracket of his left ribcage right up to the hollow below his Adam’s apple. Harry determinedly didn’t think about how odd it was that he suddenly knew Malfoy’s body like this, so casually and easily."

In Lick, it was Harry with his hand on the Hogwarts wall, talking to the building (and that scene comes right at the start, so in a way that was easier because I had the whole fic to play with afterwards!): "As he touches the wood, leans his forehead against the wall, he whispers under his breath, "Please." And as easily as that, at just one word from him, there's a click—the shockingly mundane sound of a lock turning."

In Our Little Life, it was Draco in a toga: "Harry’s fingers went to the fibula at Malfoy’s shoulder, but Malfoy murmured something about how he should leave it unless he was prepared to redrape it, and anyway Harry found he could get at almost all of Malfoy’s skin by going in from the hem up, and when the dream started to fade, Harry woke with the memory of Malfoy’s ribcage shuddering beneath his fingers."

In Howl, it was an almost jokey recreation of the rain scene in the newer Pride and Prejudice film: "“It worked out okay in the end,” Harry said, voice rough under the patter of the rain that had crept up on them, moving in sheets across the wide bowl of the valley below, wrinkling the surface of the lake. “You’re here, aren’t you? You came to get me.”"

In Countdown to a Life it was Harry thinking he'd enjoy being tied up and realising he didn't like it: ""I think," Harry says, so much later that Draco thought he was already asleep. "I think I'd prefer if it was just you. Keeping me still, I mean. I'd be so good for you. I wouldn't move at all, if you told me not to.""

in Take the Moon, it was Harry bringing Scorpius to the supermarket in the middle of the night and seeing his own reflection in the freezer doors: "Sometimes Harry could hardly see how three years had passed, could barely remember a time before Scorpius, definitely couldn’t count how many nights he had spent here in this particular Sainsbury’s, first with Scorpius in the sling, then as he got bigger, the trolley seat, walking up and down the aisles under the artificial lights that made it feel as though it could be any time of the day or night, Harry’s own warped reflection flickering back at him from the foggy glass doors of the freezer cabinets, rows and rows of chilly ghosts."

You get the idea! This is just a selection from random fics, I could probably go through every single fic and pinpoint that moment/scene that prompted me to start writing. Some are more successful than others in the way they turn out, of course—and I do think it's one of the reasons I think my microfics/oneshots are my best writing. It's because they usually are the essence of that one scene, distilled! So I can really indulge that purity of vision.

I'm not inspired by media like films/songs/books at all really, though I do greedily consume a lot of those (books in particular) and of course every single thing I read/watch has an impact in some way. I definitely write better when I've been reading really good books. This year, reading things like The Bee Sting or Close to Home or Open Water... they all really inspired me to think about craft and style and tone in a very considered way.

And on a final note, I've been writing a lot of original work this year and i've learned that I find it even harder to capture the feel of that one moment when I'm also trying to juggle characterisation and plot!

Thanks so much again for the ask and for giving me a chance to chat about my fics. Was lovely to revist them. Would also love to hear other people talking about their own processes if anyone fancies sharing.

[thecameronchronicles]

Knees

TW: Smut. Dom!Pope. Language. 

SUMMARY: Pope makes you apologize to him on your knees…

WORD COUNT: 900

REQUESTED:

Anonymous asked:

hi bestie! Omg I love the Pope fics recently! Especially the sequel to tension between textbooks!! I have an idea for Pope x kook reader that even if you don’t use this idea, hopefully gives some more inspo for Pope. I know Pope fics are not as popular but I love them so much so thank you for taking the time to write amazing fics❤️ So this is kind of based on the song don’t blame me by Taylor Swift but not really. (Also low key kind of toxic cause you basically manipulate him into staying with you but anyways)...

So you and Rafe are friends but not a lot of people know that and you need to get closer to the pogues for whatever reason (maybe rafe wants you to watch Sarah and report back to him?) So you start dating Pope but you actually fall in love with him really quickly and essentially this love has made you crazy for him (a lyric from the song is “don’t blame me love made me crazy” and you don’t want to help rafe anymore so you’re yelling at him in your house when Pope decides to surprise you (cause he’s sweet and definitely does that for his significant other) and he hears you and him fighting so he’s comes in and is like “why is rafe here? What plan are you talking about” and rafe tells him and he leaves so you and Pope start arguing but you’re like “please Pope I love you so much I didn’t want to help him anymore, our relationship wasn’t fake. I’ll beg on my knees if that’s what you want” and you get on the ground and actually do it and he is like “okay yes I’ll stay but I have of questions” And you smile and he expects you to get up but you crawl over to him and unbutton his pants to give him a blow job (another lyric is “I’d beg you on my knees to stay”) and you guys end up fucking. -💎

*SO I DEFINITELY GOT SOME INSPIRATION AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! I ADORE YOUR IDEA BUT FEEL LIKE IT WORKS BETTER AS A SERIES AND I AM GETTING READY TO WORK ON CHRISTMAS FICS SO I DON'T WANT TO COMMIT TO SOMETHING ELSE THAT I CAN'T DO FULLY. BECAUSE OF THAT, I AM DOING A ONESHOT INSTEAD. HOPE YOU LIKE IT :)*

Knees

Not many people knew this side to him, and you basked in knowing you could. Pope was always well mannered and polite, almost complacent to keep from stepping on toes or causing riffs. It was a staple to his persona in many ways. And yet, it was also a veil for the deeper, darker parts of him. Parts that you, as his girlfriend, came to learn. Because where everyone saw your loving relationships which were true, they weren't aware of just how he could be when he got jealous. 

"See you 'round…" Rafe smiled at you both, a grin fading when he noticed the way Pope’s eyes narrowed to him. But you couldn't help it, everyone was a moth to a flame in your welcoming aura. You didn't mean to flirt, but coquettishness was seen in your politeness. And this was all Pope saw, all he needed to see, to shift his mood and leave you in the silence you had now as he drove you from Figure Eight and back to The Cut. 

In your attempts to learn what you'd done, he would only turn the music up louder or offer a glare, until pulling up to his house. Empty aside from the two of you making your way inside, he would let you walk over the threshold before a hand came to the back of your neck. 

"You know I love your smile. The one you give me when you want something? The one where your eyes are glimmered with a hint of lust? You know that, right?" You nodded as his fingers tightened. 

"So why in the fuck does Rafe get to see that?"

"He doesn't-"

"You calling me a liar, baby?"

"No…I-" He was impatient as he licked his lips prior to interrupting you. 

"You sorry?" You nodded. 

"You're gonna show me." As your hand went to lower to the hard cock you felt from against you, he took hold of your wrist. 

"On your knees, baby…bad girls get bruised knees to make it up to their good boyfriend's. And I'm always good to you, aren't I?" He asked, half insulted to even having to ask. But you would nod as he bobbed his head in agreement before releasing you and sending you off kilter by that very force. 

He moved to the dining room, pushing out the chair, and sitting in wait, as your eyes kept to his every movement. 

"Crawl to me. Show me how sorry you really are and give me a reason to show that pretty little smile only belongs wrapped around MY cock." You nodded before obeying. 

"Slowly!" He snapped as you nodded, correcting your speed, until you came to his knees. Running slow fingers up his slacks worn for a day's work, you would remove him from these confines to please him. 

"You keep those eyes on me. Wanna know I have your full attention." You nodded as he wrapped his hand in your hair, your mouth taking him slowly and deeply as he savored the sound of your gag rushing over him. 

"That's it…mmmhmm…Show me Hoe sorry…" He muttered as you got to work. Hollowed cheeks as you sucked his tip to begin, you lowered a tongue in wrapping swirls before deep throating him into those groans. 

"Think HIS cock would make you cry like this baby?" He asked while you shook your head 'no'. 

"And neither of you will find out because that tight little throat will only be made raw by me!" He spoke in a victorious broadcast as you nodded once more. 

"You wanna make me come? Is that how you show me how sorry you are?" You nodded. 

"Then you know how I like it. Bend the fuck over and let me see thay perfect little ass." You obliged, doing as requested as you were slapped from behind. 

"I love making it all red. Shows me you're proud to be mine, being all marked up by me."

"Yes! I am-"

"Then make me come and let it drip out of that tight little pussy that knows me so well…" He thrusted, a gasp from you silenced by a groan from him as you worked in rhythm against him. Perfection and passion beneath the surface of his dominance, you were built into perspiration until your pleas sounded between the melodious glide of his body into yours. 

"Come for me…Give me what I want and I'll give you what you deserve-" He spoke into your ear, hand wrapped around your throat, before you built to that mutual climax. 

"Don't even think I've forgotten about that ass…Swaying it back and forth for him…" He guided you over his lap. 

"Count like a good girl-" 

"One…" You gasped. 

"Teo…" You whimpered. 

"Three…" You could feel his dangers inside of you. By five you were shaking and by ten you had come, making him offer the perfect unification of pleasure and pain as he always had.

"Now get on your knees again. You're gonna stay there until I paint thay pretty little face with how happy you've made me…"

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae @camilynn22

[percervall]

this fic is one of my favourites and would love if you would do a little commentary about your inspo behind it, and how you managed to deal so softly with Carlos’ pain that’s at the same time so gut-wrenching 💛 because this fic really felt like it poured out of you in one continuous flow and it’s so lovely!

Thank you for asking about one of my absolute favourite fics 🧡

So sometimes you break so beautiful was born out of my own heartbreak over yet another race where Ferrari just couldn't seem to get their shit together. There had been rumours before Spa about tensions rising between Charles and Carlos, and I also distinctly remembered Carlos' radio message at the Australian Grand Prix, and the desperation in his voice. Watching that Belgian grand prix, I was just to.. Sad isn't even the right word, dejected? disheartened? about how Ferrari just kept fucking both of them over. And so to then view this through the lens of someone being so much closer to all of that, to Carlos' pain... So most of the inspiration was the F1 season up to that point, combined with images of Carlos just looking so beautifully distraught and then I listened to SYML's wildfire and the first stanza of the song encompasses the whole fic

Darling, please take my hand Please get up, rise to stand I can't be the one to sing your song 'Cause I believe it's not your fault Don't be scared, you are my rock Nothing's gonna hold you down for long

There's an element to it of seeing someone who is so obviously hurting and wanting to help them, encourage them that it's okay to fall apart if that's what is needed because it allows them to rebuild, to come back stronger. So that's the angle I went with in that fic, trying to be cognisant of the very human desire to sometimes just stop thinking and feeling so goddamn much. And so her offering him that out ("I can take it, let me carry it"), allows him to fall apart. For some people that might look like an emotional release, for others it's physically working through that hurt and so she offers him the only thing she can in that moment -she offers him her body, a sacrifice she is willing to make, an ache she is willing to endure if it means he will hurt less as a result of it.

There's one line in there that I am so proud of, that I feel sets the tone of not only their relationship and her love for Carlos, but also Carlos' character:

"You will gladly hurt for this stunning man, who holds both unbridled joy and brooding darkness so beautifully it makes you dizzy with how much you love him, if it means he won’t –not for a few hours at least."

We've all seen the silly videos of Carlos with Lando and Charles, where he's in absolute stitches, but there's this mysterious brooding quality to him as well with those chiselled features and brown eyes

like how are they the same person??

well this got a lot more rambly than I had hoped for but I hope it makes sense?

feel free to ask me about my fics

[ildi-dragonheart]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @frankenjoly omg thanks i just got home from school i need this

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

I have 57 rn and i still can't believe i have that many fics,, it used to be more than that but i had deleted some of my older fics for an old fandom i was once in

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

127,635 words (and counting hopefully once i get out of this slump)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now i mainly write for BSD. I used to write for the fantastic beasts and where to find them fandom from 2018 to the first half of 2020 but i stopped cuz i left (you can still find my fics for that fandom in my ao3 and wattpad profiles)

4. Top five fics by kudos

Bored (BSD) - a little domestic fluff fic feat. Ranpo being perpetually bored while Akiko is busy working

A Night at the Scamander Household (Fantastic Beasts) - wherein the Newt and Tina are awoken in the middle of the night by their youngest son who's unable to sleep

Tattoos and Soulmates (Fantastic Beasts) - newtina soulmate au where you have matching tattoos with your soulmate

Lay All Your Love on Me (or not) (Fantastic Beasts) - watch as Achilles Tolliver tries to get Tina Goldstein's attention and fails (spoiler: she's already taken)

Books, Rain, and You (Fantastic Beasts) - in an effort to get out of the heavy rain, Tina finds herself in a cozy library with an adorable librarian. they bond over books and then some

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, but not always. I like interacting with those who read my fics and seeings their comments just motivates me to write more

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i mostly write fluff but i have tried my hand at writing angst although i'm not sure if those fics count as that cuz i feel like i don't have the skill to properly convey the angsty feelings for it to be considered angst

but if i had to choose out of all the attempts i made at angst, i'd say If "Happy Ever After" Did Exist, I Would Still Be Holding You Like This and Con Flores (Te Llevaste Mi Tristeza Con Colores)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again, i write fluff so basically all of them have happy endings or are just generally happy overall. i can't really pick one of them dasjkgkas

8. Do you get hate on fic?

i hope not... that's literally one of my writing anxieties, especially when i write a fic involving an oc i have for a fandom (like Edogawa Hotaru, for example)

9. Do you write smut?

i think i tried writing once although it wasn't a fanfic. i cringed hard and never tried writing smut for a fic again. but if you guys saw my character ai chats involving my ships-

10. Do you write crossovers?

no

11. Have you ever stolen a fic?

i hope not. i always try to make sure all my works are original, but if i do take inspo from another fic i always make sure to ask

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! i think i had two or three fics translated some time ago by other people online (with my permission ofc) and that honestly makes me feel so proud??

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no and i feel too shy to do so😭

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

ranposano, obviously (and a genshin rarepair i have that i am a little too afraid to say cuz genshin fandom)

15. What's a WIP you want to finush but probably won't?

so. many. WIPS. please. send me motivation.

16. What are your writing strengths?

never-ending inspiration i guess. i once got a "this is the fic i/we never knew i/we needed" comment on a ranposano fic that i wrote because i had my period and that just made me realize that wow i pull my ideas from literally everywhere

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

procrastination, my inconsistent english grammar, and constantly setting standards that are a little too high whenever i write something

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

i'm fine with it ig? englsih is my second language and i don't usually write full dialogues in another language. i usually only include words in another language but never full dialogues

19. First fandom you wrote for?

believe it or not, i used to write fanfics for the rise of the brave tangled frozen dragons fandom, mainly jelsa (but i never published any of them my 10 year old self was too scared)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

omg Lost and Found my beloved ranposano fic daksgdkas that fic is what i like to consider as the peak of my skills as fic writer, like i will never be able to write something like that ever again

(A Package and Glass Marble come close tho)

[suchalonelysunflower]

I need to talk about the inspiration for Looks Red, Tastes Blue 

now you know that the inspo for the fic came from the song with the same title BUT ever since I've heard it I imagined a whole ass anime title track and I need to share it with you so you'll get the idea and if I ever decide to make it a series you'll know what I mean.

So please listen if you can and imagine with me

This is the longest day I've ever had I'm far away but I am right there It starts with modern day Ashton waking up in his bed. the first panel is just his tired eyes opening, bags under his eyes and you can see that even though he's just waking up, he is just so, so tired.

Then he sits up and it pans out to his room. It's pretty empty as the light comes through the windows.

If distance only makes you stronger Don't make it last any longer

A couple of books on his nightstand, a glass of water half empty. Two white shirts hanging from the door handle, slightly swaying with the breeze.

My mind is racing and it won't stop And every thought is something negative

We move to the bathroom where Ashton's image comes up in the mirror after rinsing, eyes lingering on the two rings hanging from the chain around his neck. He looks down and sighs before he turns to leave.

I hope this doesn't last forever We're always meant to be together

Panel of his arm stretched, putting on his trench coat. Right side, left side, back side. Profile as he takes a deep breath and opens the door, letting the sun hit his face as he steps out.

I won't lie, this hurts more than you'll ever know

Ashton walking down the street, going the same way as the other people walking beside him.

That's when something told me that

Then, someone walking the opposite direction bumps his shoulder. panel to his hazel eyes widening.

If I pinch myself so that I wake (That means it never really happened)

He turns so fast but it all seems in slow motion. He sees a glimpse of her, of her hair, the profile of her face. But the sun is right there, almost eclipsing the view of the ghost of his past.

'Cause I can feel my tears finding their way (I fear it's worse than I imagined)

Then an image of his late wife appears, smiling next to this new girl who looks just like her. And he's just standing there, shocked. As everything seems to be zooming in.

I'm sick of writing every thought out Reliving every single moment

He opens his eyes again. It pans out to Michael's book store where Calum and Michael are standing by the counter with cups of coffee and Luke is sitting on the floor petting a calico cat. Every guy gets one shot.

Ashton is sitting on the bay window, holding his own cup of coffee. He looks at them fondly.

Say what you mean, it's now or never Because nothing is forever

He looks at his coffee and then at the window, leaning his head on the glass. He closes his eyes for a while.

I won't lie, this hurts more than you'll ever know (The thought of you all alone)

Images of the past come running through his mind. Him smiling down at his wife, slow dancing together in the living room.

A shadow dancing above them, swallowing them whole.

Ashton on his knees, looking helpless, being held back by a thousand hands as he looks up.

Your eyes rolled back as you fade to black (It's not worth living without you)

The image of his wife's white nightgown seemingly floating as she's being held by the window. Her teary eyes closing as the drops of blood fall to the ground.

Her, falling to the darkness, until her white nightgown becomes a glimpse in the pupil of Ashton's eyes as he witnesses all of it.

That's when something told me that

At the same time we see him, but can't hear him scream as the hands pull him back into the darkness.

If I pinch myself so that I wake (That means it never really happened)

He opens his eyes to find himself back in the present, with the girl that looks like his wife smiling at him through the window, waving at him. The sun shines through her, making it seem like an apparition.

'Cause I can feel my tears finding their way (I fear it's worse than I imagined)

Images of them both now appear like snapshots. Ashton showing her his art. Her feeling sleepy and putting her head on his shoulder as he nuzzles his nose on her hair.

But I'll hold this memory

A panel of him painting something, first just showing the backside of it but then just the front, never showing the picture.

And I swear I won't forget your face 'Cause pictures always seem to fade away

An image of her touching the necklace with the two rings and his hand coming to touch hers, but never quite reaching hers before it's being pulled away.

the firsts instrumentals

It shows Ashton's hands underwater, put almost reaching to the surface. Then it pans to Ashton's whole body underwater.

Now my blood turns red to blue

With the beat, Ashton's veins illuminate a blue color.

And I can't breathe without you

Overlapping, there's an image of his wife smiling

Now my blood turns red to blue

A panel of the full moon, but seen underwater

And I can't breathe without you

His wife falling, but never reaching the ground.

Now my blood turns red to blue

Ashton's body, still underwater, but looking more alive, with a new purpose. A panel to his hand, moving

And I can't breathe without you

One last close up to his wife face, peaceful as she died.

No, I can't breathe No, I can't breathe

The panel to his hand, it closes into a fist. His eyes open.

A rush.

If I pinch myself so that I wake (That means it never really happened)

Images and flashes of his vengeance. Fast and ravenous you see the shadow of him ripping men apart.

'Cause I can feel my tears finding their way (I fear it's worse than I imagined)

Bloody hands. Him standing in front of a manor on fire. Hazel eyes filled with nothing. A wicked smile with blood dripping from the fangs.

But I'll hold this memory

A panel of him sitting on a cliff. looking at the moon, bloody hands playing with the chain with the two rings.

And I swear I won't forget your face

Back to his face, an incredible sadness overcomes him as he looks at the moon again. But the image moves down to the ocean.

'Cause pictures always seem to fade away

It goes back to the waves, to the crashing of them against the rocks.

Why do they always fade away? 'Cause pictures always seem to fade away

Now the image comes up again but it's sunny, and it's the present. Ashton is standing at the beach, looking at the ocean, longingly.

Why do they always fade? Why do they fade away?

He looks to the side, his friends are there and she's there. Calum is sunbathing. Michael is sitting under the umbrella. Luke is talking to a girl. And she turns around, smiling at him and waves him over.

Now my blood turns red to blue And I can't breathe without you

Ashton smiled at her, but you can tell something is missing. There's something more, something hidden. Still, he goes to her.

It ends with the last notes as the pictures pans out, showing a clear sky.

*

I swear I need an animation of this or else I'm gonna go crazy

[closetoyou1970]

how fast the night changes!!!!

road trip wip my beloved!! 💜

ask meme: [here]

fic inspo tag: [here]

excerpt under the read-more:

(Context / recap: post-15x19; Cas is back; established destiel relationship at this point. The angels and Amara are having a family meeting in heaven to sort out the cosmology. Dean, as a mortal alive-boy, is not invited to Super Heaven Conference 2021, so he has to drop Cas off at the heaven portal which is also a playground.)

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Sneaking into the playground in the middle of the night is easy, despite the sign proclaiming Park hours: 7:00 A.M. – 7:00 P.M. daily, and, if they weren't trying to get to the portal, it would almost be fun. It would almost feel like they were a couple of teenagers sneaking out after dark to have a drink and a smoke on the swing set, getting into the kind of kid trouble that doesn't really matter.

But instead he's here to say goodbye to Cas, even if it's just supposed to be for a few days – although, when has anything ever gone to plan for Team Free Will? – and it's not fun. It's shitty, and Dean keeps trying to blink back something that he keeps telling himself isn't the start of a crying jag, even though it's making his eyes feel all hot.

He wants to ask Cas to stay. He wants it real bad, even, but that's stupid. As much as the other angels all suck sometimes, they're Cas' brothers and sisters – hell, Jack's in the middle of this whole mess, and Jack is his kid. Jack is their kid, even if Dean can't go see him in the same way that Cas can. Cas has to go do this, the same way that Dean would show up for Sammy or Claire without question, even if Dean kind of wants to be a girl about it right now, kind of wants to cry and beg for him to stay. Kind of wants to start blubbering about how, "Cas, it's not fair. I just got you back," which has been rattling around his head and behind his teeth for the last two hundred miles of highway.

Cas hasn't left his side since Dean found him in the Empty.

Dean tries to breathe through it.

Get it together, Winchester. He needs you steady right now.

"Okay, well…" He turns to face Cas and claps him on both shoulders out of some aborted impulse to pull him close and hold him, reining himself in halfway through as he realizes that if he gets Cas in his arms right now, he's just not going to be able to let go any time soon. "You be careful up there."

Cas lays both hands over Dean's, strokes over both wrists while he talks him through it, low and soothing. "Dean, I'll be at Jack's side. There's nowhere safer."

Dean wishes that he didn't need to be gentled like a nervous horse about all this, but he kind of does, and it's kind of working. 

"Yeah?" he volleys back, contrarian for no fucking reason except that he's scared and doesn't know what to do about it. He's trying to snap like that less often, these days, but he's also trying to do less shit that puts his heart in his throat like this in the first place, and he already failed step one. "What if the Empty comes back?" 

Isn't that how the Shadow got Cas the last time, ambushing him in heaven and shaking him down for a deal?

But Cas just smiles a little, not unkindly, but with that soft, amused look he gets when Dean's said something funny on purpose, even though he hasn't.

"Dean. Do you think that the Empty has only stayed away because it's afraid of you?"

Dean puffs out his chest in response, and he's only halfway joking about it. Tries out that cocky, lopsided grin that used to charm all the girls back when he was twenty and pretty. "Could be, right? I got in some pretty good hits when I came and got you."

Cas does laugh at that, and Dean feels like maybe being stupid is worth it, if he gets to make Cas laugh. The moonlight makes him look all soft, and the laugh lines make him look all lived-in and touchable, and Dean just wants him to stay.

"Oh, dearest love." Cas smooths Dean's hair back and kisses his forehead, and the gentle pressure settles something in Dean in a way that sex never has. "I'll come back to you. As soon as I can."

Dean sees him off, all flaring sigils and holy light in place of wings that just don't work anymore, and then, after Cas goes, lets himself sink down heavily into one of the abandoned playground swings. Even though it's been years since he grew up too big for all the kid-sized equipment, all of a sudden, he can't help but feel small.

[sagemoderocklee]

⭐star⭐ for Gate Of Dreaming? although i have absolutely loved RTS to pieces that is by far my favourite fic from you overall, and i'd love to hear more about the creative aspect or your experience writing it if you're willing to share :-)

just as an aside, my favourite area was the middle section where the dream world begins to change around him and gaara, to reflect his changing feelings towards him as they became closer & he learns more about gaara. it's such a cool concept and was done incredibly well!!

ooooohhhhh i wasn't expecting to get an ask for GoD but i LOVE that fic, though i desperately need to go back and edit it (for like grammar and sentence flow, nothing major).

that fic was SUCH an experiment in writing. changing tenses is NOT easy to maintain by any means, but i really did have so much fun with that like shifting flowing aspect of the fic, and changing tenses really worked well to help indicated Lee's state of mind--when he was unaware of the dream vs when he was aware--and for the shifting nature of the scenery around them.

GoD was originally inspired by the song 100 Years by Florence+the Machine, the intro + chorus really spoke to me as like an Infinite Tsukuyomi fic:

I believe in you and in our hearts we know the truth And I believe in love and the darker it gets, the more I do Try and fill us with your hate and we will shine a light And the days will become endless and never, and never turn to night And never, and never turn to night

Then it's just too much, I cannot get you close enoughA hundred arms, a hundred years, you can always find me here And Lord, don't let it break this, let me hold it lightly Give me arms to pray with instead of ones that hold too tightly

I bolded the parts in these two sections of the song that for me speak to the fic. The Idea of the passage of time juxtaposed against this endlessness, and coupled with closeness and hands. My intent was that 100 years had passed by the time Lee and Gaara broke completely free of the dream and fought the GoD Tree. And of course, it was possible for Lee and Gaara to share their dreamscapes because Lee--being someone who we know can and does fight in his sleep--broke through his own cocoon into Gaara's, and once the physical connection was made--holding hands--they were bound up in each other's world. And of course, the slow progression of falling in love with Gaara over the course of 100 years, the dream!Gaara that Lee was never truly making love to, etc really encapsulates the line "i cannot get you close enough"

i also pulled imagery from the second chorus verse:

And then it's just too much, the streets, they still run with blood

the redness of the moon/the eye for the jutsu was fun to play around with as a visual

finally, this part of the song is really the progression for Gaara falling in love with Lee without the audience truly being aware or Lee or the God Tree:

I let him sleep, and as he does My held breath fills the room with love It hurts in ways I can't describe My heart bends and breaks so many, many times And is born again with each sunrise And is born again with each sunrise

i think this part really hits the scene where Lee and Gaara are getting married in Suna, and the subsequent 'honeymoon' where Gaara is desperately trying to break Lee out of this dream of them making love. he gives up (i let him sleep) and in doing so is hurt over and over, but it's ongoing (And is born again with each sunrise) and eventually he has to break lee out of it.

i really love florence+the machine songs as inspo because all her lyrics are SOOOO poetic and they tell SUCH a story and it is incredibly easy to hit the beats of the song in a story in an organic way.

and as a final note: i loved writing the scene with Lee like playing a made up homemovie of them as kids being friends. that was such a fun, self-indulgent little moment, and it worked really well to subtly shift the feelings Lee had for Gaara and show the God Tree what was truly in Lee's heart (because even he didn't know, repressed man that he is). the way this story flowed together was so fun and i think because it was a dream world it also just let me play around with things in such a fun way, like inserting them playing as kids

anyways i hope this answer was fun for you to read! thank you so much for sending it! im absolutely so happy i got to talk about GoD for a bit! i know a lot of folks really love that fic, and i'm always so happy when an older fic gets that attention!

[leos-regression-cove]

I posted 1,164 times in 2022

That's 972 more posts than 2021!

216 posts created (19%)

948 posts reblogged (81%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@everylokitten

@tinytinybumblebee

@princeminnow

@goatmilksoda

@daily-webkinz

I tagged 921 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#agere fic inspo - 396 posts

#sfw agere - 148 posts

#agere blog - 137 posts

#fandom agere - 134 posts

#sfw little blog - 129 posts

#agere little - 129 posts

#loki agere - 126 posts

#marvel agere - 123 posts

#irl want - 120 posts

#fluff - 115 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#my warrior cat oc (i never read the books but my friends did so i played along) was a corpse stitched together that could revive dead stuff

My Top Posts in 2022:

(Read more because they're all long essays)

#5

This post is a shoutout to the littles with facial and body hair because yall are so underrated and cute omg.

This is about the messy littles who get food in their facial hair.

This is about the little ones who love the special attention when someone brushes their beard.

This is about the littles who get their fuzzy legs and backs pet.

For the littles who let their cg help with shaving.

For the littles who want to do it themselves because they're a big kid.

For those just growing in a patchy mustache for the first time and keep coming up to show their Cg or friends how cool it is.

Your hair is part of you and it's adorable!

58 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

#4

My role as a regressor is the little sibling who learned to talk and hasn't shut up since and who learned to walk and now can't stop moving.

The toddler who isn't potty trained yet but wants to hold your hand and walk around an art gallery and patiently critique the pieces.

The little one who laughs too loud at the silliest things and doesn't know the right measuring cup for what you're baking.

The little who's trying to use a pull toy on playground bark instead of hard wood or cement.

The baby who gets belly raspberries and kicks their legs.

The one who makes their big sibling feel proud to be a big sibling.

That's my job as a little.

98 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

#3

A Proposal

107 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

#2

I saw this really nice post about how in a lot of posts, financial responsibility for a little is touted as the mark of a good Caregiver; how that idea is materialistic, not the best way to express affection, and generally not a sustainable option for caregivers. (Points I totally agree with)

Obviously I get why this is such a common tip, children aren't given financial freedom and rely on caregivers to pay for toys and stuff. Just because gifts ARE your love language, or little items DO help you regress, doesn't mean you need to put that on your carer.

Here are some nice alternatives where there is minimal to no financial burden on caregivers:

What Littles can do:

If you're very very close with your caregiver, you can always ask for them to hold your wallet or money for you (just make sure you count it up and keep track!)

If you're not as close, hand them the money before you get up to the cash register after you know what you want to buy.

Simply take them shopping with you. Pay for your own things (like a big kid!), but have CG's help pick out your toys or gear. (You can even do this online with a share-screen feature!)

Make a wish-list or Christmas-list! Go through Amazon, seasonal catalogues, or even actual stores and just window shop together! You don't need to buy anything.

You can buy materials for a project while big, and just assemble it with your carer. Even if things don't turn out, you'll have made something together. (This is especially nice with food!)

What Caregivers can do:

make your little a picture :) Everyone, little or carer, enjoys a hand-made piece, even if it's just a little doodle you made in five minutes.

Go to the library or check out some stories to read together next time.

If you do want to surprise your little, you can check with relatives, friends, and neighbors for toys (you'd probably be surprised how many cousins or aunts or friends' parents are trying to get rid of old toys and will be willing to give you Lego and Barbie sets for cheap or free)

Thrift stores are wonderful, too, and create a treasure-hunt environment which is also more of a fun experience for the both of you. Many times, you'll probably leave only having spent gas money and some time.

But of course, life is not about stuff. Being little is not about stuff.

If you're having trouble finding caregiver advice or activities that are wallet-friendly, I'd highly suggest looking into minimalist or DIY/nature centric childhood lifestyles like Montessori or Waldorf (even if you don't agree with the philosophies).

I could go on and on about how these concepts can be adapted for littles, especially littles on a budget, but I won't for now. But they can be really helpful in creating a child-like lifestyle and atmosphere that is cheap and still stimulating enough for regressors while still making a warm and nostalgic environment. (They can also be subtle). So if you're a little or caregiver on a budget, it might be nice to look into those.

The point is: You have options.

Regression does not need to be expensive for caregivers or littles.

You don't need to spend a billion dollars on these things.

Regression is a therapeutic tactic and a hobby, and it does not need to be one only open to the financially well-off.

136 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Taking care of a small group of littles and being a caregiver for them is such a cute concept;

Setting up a quilt in the sun outside as a safe space if they're tired or want a break. It's littered with various toys and a couple of picture books. But the lazy sunshine makes everyone happy and we're all working together in the garden.

Perhaps there's a baby in my lap, helping me put dirt into the garden beds, getting their hands dirty as they play.

Maybe a toddler is running around helping with watering the plants or helping me poke the seeds into the ground.

Possibly, there's an older kid who's a little bit more independent with their own game going on. They play on the swing and build fairy houses. I hand them a bowl and they collect flowers and other plants to put in their mysterious mixture of "medicine"/"perfume".

168 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[noxiatoxia]

hi its me the dead anon and i would like to share that maybe 2 nights ago i was up rlly late. and i was figuring out what i was going to write back to ur last response to my other ask when i got really tired

in my strange sleep deprived state i was hit with 'inspiration' and opened google docs. within a matter of a couple hours, from 1-2 am, i wrote a pages long fic where kaoru kills himself and hikaru was so upset and made myself cry so hard i passed out.

when i woke up i looked at it and it really wasn't that good?? but at the same time it was and it made me cry again so. theres that. if you were wondering what ive been doing instead of responding

anyway very sorry about dying. ive really wanted to send u asks but ive been stressed out so im not great at coming up with hcs. very uninspired (besides my weird kaoru suicide fic but. yk)

maybe this says something about my current mental state. maybe not. idk

NOOOOOOOOO HAHSJSOKDFJ I SHOULDNT LAUGH BUT THE IDEA YOU WOKE UP FROM A HALF AWAKE DAZE AND WERE LIKE "FUCK I GOTTA WRITE KAORU KILLING HIMSELF" CRIED, THEN PASSED OUT IS SUCH A FUNNY MENTAL IMAGE.

But like I GET IT!!! same shit happens to me. I'm about to sleep but inspo STRIKES and I HAVE to get it on paper. It actually happened last night... Idk if I'll turn the idea into a full fic I'll post but it was a comedic concept nonetheless

The idea of one of the twins dying always kills me bc it's like... SO fucking sad.... the heartbreak is too much for me... i like happy endings... But like, I get it. Sometimes you just gotta write super depressing stuff. I have before.

The idea tho of one of the twins having a nightmare abt the other dying... Oughh. Like some super vivid nighmare that has one of them bolting up in bed panting on the verge of tears, immediately seeking the other twin and hurriedly waking them up to make sure they're still alive.

Like for example, maybe Hikaru waking up a month after Kaoru had his really bad depressive episode that scared the shit out of him. In his nightmare though...things don't have such a happy ending. And Kaoru does what he worried so much about every night in that dream, and he loses his little brother, and it feels so real.

Hikaru wakes up with a really startled jolt and is on the verge of a panic attack. His first immediate course of action is to turn around and nearly shake Kaoru off the bed, panickedly saying his name.

Kaoru of course wakes up sleepy and confused, barely awake as Hikaru begins to squeeze the air out of him with a bear hug. He's mumbling some things Kaoru can't piece together in his tired state, but Kaoru can tell he's really upset...so he just holds Hikaru and sleepily mumbles some reassuring things to him, and it does make Hikaru feel better, just to hear him alive and well...

Also since I'm a sucker for close physical affection between the twins I like to think Hikaru sometimes kisses Kaoru on the cheek. He did it more when they were younger, but he still does it I think under special occasions. I think this would be one of them... He was just so broken up in his dream and it scared him so so badly, so as Kaoru is stroking his hair lazily and sleepily murmuring reassurances to him, Hikaru sniffling as he's trying NOT to burst into tears, he kisses Kaoru on the cheek. Kaoru makes a small confused noise because he isn't expecting it, but he gives Hikaru a kiss back. He basically ends up passing out after that bc he's barely awake as is but Hikaru stays up long after that, holding Kaoru and just listening to his steady, deep breaths and resting heartbeat. Just taking in the fact his brother is still here and alive.

He eventually falls asleep once dawn begins to filter through the curtains.

Also it's okay for not sending asks!!! Life is tough and busy. Your health & happiness is far more important!!! I really love your hikakao and ouran asks in general they are my day's highlight. But I'm here if you just want to send general asks about whatever :) DMs are always open too!

[gretagerwigsmuse]

✨🎶⛔️🙋‍♀️🍦🎨💞🤩

okay first thank you for sending these (i never actually get responses when i do them so much appreciated), ANYWAY we're gonna cover a lot of ground here so....

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

oh god i hate giving myself compliments, but i'd have to say that i think i do a really good job with the little details? like i've been extensively researching where the banquet/party in the follow up to "even when we're wrong in every way..." is going to take place, to where the reader lives (also there are no dry bars in san diego??? a hate crime?? so now i have to think of an alternative)? and all this stuff that seems so fucking small and inconsequential in the long run, but actually makes it so much more enjoyable for me? i also think i write really natural dialogue, which stems from me reading the dialogue out loud like twenty times (and occasionally even 'blocking' out the scene, which sounds so fucking lame). also 'hates giving compliments' yet writes a fucking novel for this one my ass?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

i'm almost always listening to music because i can't be alone with my thoughts and am one of those people with over 100k listening hours every year on my spotify wrapped. i've been writing a lot of the sequel to "even when we're wrong in every way..." and have made a playlist! pls follow my spotify, i'm shameless at making hyper-specific playlists for every possible feeling i have. and if i ever make a playlist about something, you know i'm all in

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

this made me laugh way too fucking hard - YES i literally have like 100k+ words of fics i've scrapped. most of them are just me running out of inspo or me not being super into the fandom anymore

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

HA no this is hilarious because i literally tell everyone now and all my friends who are so much fucking cooler than me and know absolutely nothing about fandoms etc. LOVE it??? they call them stories tho, not fics which makes me sound so much more legit?? and last night i finally got them all the read "and even when we're wrong in every way..." and the gc was going through it...😉

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

ironically, i feel like my sweetest fic is also my saddest? it's dual pov and shows both of the characters over the course of the school year following their breakup at the end of a summer romance on the cape (total au, my fave). and just how one of them, cassandra, processes her feelings of inadequacy and being the ultimate 'mirrorball' girl, while the other, harry, works through all the trauma and grief associated with his dad passing away that fall and his subsequent slip into addiction and recovery, making him THE ultimate 'this is me trying' boy. and they finally finally work their way back to each other and are all the stronger for it? it's also my most personal work, i def cried through writing at least three of the chapters - don't get me started on the therapy chapter...😭

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

so i've never had anyone make fan art, BUT one of my absolute BESTIES on twitter made an actual EDIT for one of my fics??? like it's unfucking real, i think about it FREQUENTLY

💞 Who's your comfort character?

oh god so this VARIES but i've consistently adored the version of harry bingham i've created in my fics and if you've ever watched the society you're probably like 'jordan he's the literal worst' AND YET i've fixed him and trust fund coke boy brown haired men with daddy issues are my kryptonite. i also go absolutely feral for kendall roy and now bradley bradshaw (i would love to write a fic of him going through therapy and processing his trauma one day)

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

similar to the above, i have to go with harry. i cannot express the hold that writing and exploring his character has on me? i think it stems with them absolutely dropping the ball with his character on the society and also with me identifying with some parts of his character? ALSO now i'm super attached to my smart aleck reader (as sol and i are dubbing her) from "even when we're wrong in every way..." like the sequel/follow up shows such a different side to both her and bradley and how they're working through their relationship six months later. i think one of the things i like most about her (and him to a larger extent) is that i have to show that she doesn't agree with - and even like - this rather large part of his identity and yet they still love each other and are absolutely crazy for each other?? it's been a really fun exercise. plus the smut is fun

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