#I feel the need to mention that there's 7-8 ancients and not just the 5

[dollfaced-erin]

𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟'𝕤 ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕝𝕖 (Blade x F!Reader x Jing Yuan)

PART 13

PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12

A/n : -

HI IM BACKKKKK sorry for disappearing so suddenly, i bet yall have been waiting and i am so so SO sorryyyy. Life news ! : I am a university student now ! I was seriously gonna update last week, but orientation week was EFFING HELL (like who tf sends me to sleep at 1, and then wake up at 5. not to mention the LINE TO THE SHOWERS-- anyways, now that things are a little more stable now, i should be updating again ! thank you for waiting and being so patient my beloveds ! Here is a little more lore dump before we get on with the main story !! I'll update that in a few days, i promise...i'm so sorry ;;-;;

Taglist : -

@rebeccawinters , @nayukiyukihira , @pix-stuff , @fluffy-koalala , @swivy123 , @starxao , @kaoyamamegami , @kimura-uzuri , @rsvye , @seikouryuu , @just-here-reading , @matsulovesyou, @sincerely-aaronette , @prettyliliy , @chibiduck , @hermosacolibri , @la-diablas-thingz , @farelady-fate , @everi-eve , @shadowfoxey , @helloyuki , @immahuman

"Lady (Y/n)...a-are you alright ?" the master diviner asked the dragon woman before her, eyes wide with concern and confusion.

"Wh...what happened...I...I don't remember what happened..." the legendary woman asked, looking at Fu Xuan with the same emotion swirling in her (e/c) eyes.

What was it that she had just witnessed earlier ? Why did she feel like something was missing from her...?

Something was indeed stolen from her.

"Lady (Y/n)...you...once you entered the Matrix of Prescience, I...I lost all connection to you. I couldn't reach your consciousness. It was as if something was in my place, watching over you instead. It blocked me out and..."

"And when I regained hold of the true reality, you and I are here, staring at each other..." Fu Xuan said, looking fearful and confused.

This wasn't something she had ever confronted before, not even past all those centuries of learning, studying, foreseeing and foretelling.

"Did you...see something...?"

"Perhaps...the Ambrosial Arbor's resurrection and the Stellaron contamination is hazing up the sea of ancient tales..."

Ambrosial....Arbor...

Stellaron...Contamination...

"My Lady ! Get back ! The infestation of the Plagues Author is overwhelming and will be breaching our ranks ! We must retreat !" called out a distant voice.

"Wh-what...?" (Y/n) muttered, feeling a blunt thumping in her head.

"No ! I mustn't hide ! He hasn't returned yet ! I must find him ! He needs me !" a familiar voice screamed out, pure terror and fear heard in her quivering voice.

The dragon lady stumbled backwards, finding it even hard to get a grasp of reality, much less balancing herself on her two feet. Her hand was put to her head, fingers digging into her head as she grimaced and winced. Eyes closed, as her ears blocked out all other noise.

"Lady Dan Jia !"

'Where...am I...?'

As she opened her eyes...she was in the dark, sinking further and further into the unknown. The darkness that engulfed her was cold, wet, and lonely...

Her tired (e/c) eyes only looked up, breaths escaping her lips forming bubbles of air varying in size and density. Her body felt heavy, head no longer pounding, as she submitted her fate to the deep unknown.

"No ! Why didn't it work ?! Why isn't she waking up !" a distraught voice screamed out through the sound of pattering rain.

It was as if a void had ripped through the space of unknown, bright light of the gloomy sky displayed before her. There was a horned man, dark brown hair shining with wetness from the rain as he held a figure tightly in his arms.

"No, no, no ! This wasn't supposed to happen ! She was supposed to survive, and she would wake up ! Why isn't she waking up ?!" the voice screamed desperately as he held the body close to his chest, tears running down his cheeks.

"Dan Jia ! D-Dan...Dan Jia ! Wake up ! Y-you were meant to awake after taking the heart ! Y-you weren't supposed to still be tied to the heart ! Why did you tie yourself to it ?!"

"Dan Jia..."

"My beloved sister..."

"Wake up...please..."

"Please...I beg you..."

"Open your eyes, sister..."

"I'm sorry..."

Tears escaped (Y/n)'s eyes as she watched the display of tragic love of siblings being displayed in front of her. The cries of Dan Feng as he cradled his sister in his arms pierced through the sound of rain.

"Now...I have no one..." the man said woefully.

"I betrayed you...I used Yingxing...I took advantage of your love towards your soulmate...I took advantage of your care to me...I took advantage of his devotion to you and his loyalty to me..."

"I had him bait you into stripping you of the Heart... our plan failed and she...she turned into a monstrosity. Because you weren't ready to give up the heart, not all power was surrendered to her...not all our authority was given to her..."

"Why...why did I force it from you...? Why did I have Yingxing bait you here ? Because I knew... you would never go against the Unpardonable Sins, if it wasn't Yingxing that wilted to the ground had his time come..."

"But now..."

Before she could hear more, the vision of the previous High Elder cradling his sister in his arms faded before her.

"Let me see her one more time..." a voice whispered, feeling defeated, relishing all hold of his fate to those who held him tight in their hold.

"Dan feng..." the slow lazy voice (Y/n) had recognized almost immediately.

"I said let me see her one more time !" The man roared, chains that held him down clashing and clanging as he refuted, his tail smashing wildly. Shackles that held him down was not spared a single glance. His skin was marred and raw from the friction, but he cared not.

All he craved for was a final glimpse of his sister, and he would go through the molting rebirth. He didn't care what they did to him. he didn't care what would happen to him after.

"Please...Jing Yuan....let me see my sister for the last time...I beg you..." the High Elder begged.

For the arrogant, high and might High Elder Imbibator Lunae to beg, kneeling on the ground by the feet of the current general of the Luofu...

"I was going to let you see her anyway. You deserve to see her one last time, at least." Jing Yuan replied, kneeling down to the level of his friend.

"Sister..." she heard as the rift before her dissipated just as the first vision did.

In that motionless space of time, she felt warm arms creeping from behind. They meant her no hostility, and she reacted not as they wrapped around her form, pulling her down. Her back then came into contact with another surface, warm and breathing, comforting and beating. Another chest.

"I'm...not her..." was the first thing that escaped her lips in that void.

"Dan Jia..." the voice replied again.

"Let me go."

And before her was the man she's been seeing constantly in her dreams. Though he wasn't real...

The man before her was a handsome man, even more so now that he was standing before her. His long brown hair flowed, his teal horns perched on his head glowing as brightly as his lustrous teal eyes. His expression was serious, without an ounce of regret that she had now addressed herself by a different name as he stood before her a few feet away.

"You are indeed still Dan Jia. You have the same face and voice, a voice I yearn to hear since you left. Yet your power...your memories...you--"

"I told you, I am not HER !" the woman screamed, hands to her heart as she screamed her lungs out, denying all the claims the man before her had spread out to the table.

"What makes you so sure that you aren't her ?"

"She may be my past..." (Y/n) said, her fan appearing in her hand.

The woman began running towards the man before her, her fan materializing in her hand.

"But she wont lead my future !"

"Ignorant." he replied, a spear forming in his hands, familiar to her eyes. But she knew it wasn't her own eyes. It was Dan Jia's.

With strength and fury running through her veins, she parried all the attacks struck by the man before her. Sparks flew from the collisions, as (Y/n) controlled her fan in her hand, sending strikes, even using telepathy and magic to control the weapon out of her hands.

The man never faltered, letting out his own lines of sorrow and reminiscence. He attacked back the woman before him, eyes clouded but expression stern.

"Your attacks are the same as hers. Your moves, your stance...it's all hers ! " He exclaimed, grabbing his spear and swinging it in her direction. "You are her ! Dan Jia !"

Suddenly the man launched up two fingers straight up. And (Y/n) gasped, feeling a tremendous amount of pain pierce her. Spears of water impaled her body, hooking her and pulling her down to the depths of the deep dark sea.

(Y/n) gasped and screamed, hands failing to try prevent herself from descending deeper into the water, familiar pain coursing through her veins. The sensation of her skin torn, her muscle and meat being torn out from her back and chest....

And the heart. The source of her power.

Or rather the lack of it.

Tears pricked her eyes as she endured the pain, her screams forming bubbles that drifted up to the surface who knows how many feet above her.

Phantom pain that coursed through her body caused her breathing to hitch, even when there was nothing at all that had even done so much as dented her skin, not even those spears.

All of that was just deep memories...

Memories...

Of Dan Jia...and her past.

Her smiles...her laughs...her dances...

Her joys and her sorrows...

And all those people appeared in her mind. Baiheng...Jingliu...Jing Yuan...Yingxing...

Where did all of them go...?

She couldn't think anymore...so she closed her eyes and let herself fall deeper and deeper.

"(Y/n), my princess..." the warm lazy voice of the man that had taken care of her since she awoke resounding loudly.

Her eyes opened to meet a vision of Jing Yuan as he helped her out of the starskiff, a warm and lazy smile playing on his lips, emotions swirling in his honey gold eyes.

But other people relapsed her mind as she reached out her hand to the man before her.

Bailu...Yanqing...Blade...Jing Yuan...

"(Y/n)..." the husky voice of the man she holds dear called out. Strong arms wrapped her figure from behind, as a head landed on her shoulder. She closed her eyes to bask in the feeling of his arms that held her close.

She was like them. Like Blade and Jing Yuan.

Blade who is just a shell of his former self and a living weapon that lives in Yingxing's shadow.

Jing Yuan who had lived for hundreds of years, but still living on no matter how much burden he had to shoulder since he was young.

(Y/n) is like them. A person who lives in the shadow of her former self, yet carries the burden, pain and memories of the person she no longer was.

Visions of her past self and current self began to surge into her, reminding her of who she once was, reminding her of who she is. The pain that surged her body was proof enough that she was still who she was trying to run from.

What Dan Feng is saying has some truth to it. But he was wrong.

She was indeed Dan Jia... but she is (Y/n) as well.

"You...killed me once..." she whispered, feeling determination consume her fragile and pure soul as she opened her eyes, bright (e/c) eyes that ebbed with the shine of a Vidyadhara High Elder.

"You took my power...and my lover..." she said, voice growing stronger as her hands as she began to channel as much energy into her arms, trying to rise to the surface.

"So don't get in the way of my future !" She screamed, powering through the pain that pulsed through her body, overcoming the suffering that kept her awake with the new resolution.

The water around her burst, releasing her from its cold and harsh conditions. Her horns and tail shone brightly alongside the power that seeped from the vibrancy of her eyes. Her fan appeared once again in her hand, and the faint tingling from the windchime earring on her right ear reminded her of herself.

Chains came up from the ground, shackling her in place, just as she had seen in her visions. Dan Feng chained down to the ground, in the shackling prison, alone and cold.

"You will pay for the sights and visions you have seen. For you and me are one of the same heart. One of the same power. One of the same High elder of the Luofu."

"I will not atone for this sins you have committed ! I refuse to be subjected to a life I did not lead myself into ! And you shouldn't let him suffer either !" she said as she pulled at the chains.

"You have nowhere to run." The man before her said.

"But I have someplace to return !" She declared back, swinging her fan powerfully as the water bent to her command, breaking the chains beneath her.

The man before her looked stunned, his long brown hair flowing freely before a warm, unfamiliar smile graced his lips. The woman before him was still as fragile as ever. Kind and gentle, as her attacks never meant to land a hit on him at all.

It was still his sister that was standing before him. All grown up. Independent.

The dragon woman before him was still fearful of him, and he didn't blame her. After all, he had caused her demise of the past...involving her without consent, with consequences spiraling out of his power.

"Very well...lead a life you would regret the least..." the dragon man before her said.

"But remember...the pain that you bring with you upon obtaining these memories and power shall be yours alone to handle."

"For blood runs thicker than water."

"She's awake ! Hurry, get the Master Diviner ! The Imbibator Saltator has awoke !" Said a bright and familiar voice.

As (Y/n) opened her eyes, she was met with the worried eyes of the current High Elder of the Vidyadhara. But for some reason...she felt particularly close to this...girl.

"Are you alright ? Try not to stress yourself out too much. You've been through a lot..." The dragon lady said.

The way her turquoise eyes shone brightly with mischief and childish delight...the way her purple hair flowed freely behind her as she ran around. The way she called (Y/n)'s name so gently and carefully.

"Baiheng...?" She said, letting the name slip past her lips without her realizing.

"No...sorry...Miss...Bailu. I let a slip of tongue a moment there..." she said, shaking her head softly as she tried to sit up.

"No, it's alright. I understand that you can still be a little disoriented !" Bailu said, brightly, handing her a cup of Immortal's Delight.

Why did she feel so...close to Bailu...?

Why...did she call Bailu...Baiheng...?

Then it hit her.

She never knew what happened to Baiheng.

She wondered what had transpired once she had been subdued to a cold and deep slumber for a couple hundred years...

But she for sure couldn't see Blade and Dan Feng's reincarnation the same way ever again...

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Some Theodore Nott and Nottpott headcanons because I feel like it

So, I got in a mood to write some things about Theo. I mentioned here basically all the canon information we have about him, and I wrote a headcanon list for Harry a bit ago, so this post is a bunch of random headcanons I have about Theo Nott (and a bit about Nottpott) that live in my head in no particular order.

They are based on the little canon information available, but I don't actually know where most of them came from. They are just my personal headcanons for a barley existing character.

1. He has dark brown hair and dark grey eyes.

He is also described as "weedy" so I imagine he's tall, thin, gaunt, and pale. In my mind, he looks like a sickly Victorian child. Although, he would look healthier as he grows up.

2. I always change his parents' names, they are very inconsistent in my mind, but their personalities are consistent.

3. His father is a blood-purist, Death Eater who isn't a nice person (understatement) and wasn't really involved in Theo's life up until Theo was capable of more complex thought and speech.

He mostly expects Theo to be molded in his image and not really have any new independent thoughts beyond his rule as the Nott heir.

Usually, I place his grandfather as the Nott who came with Tom Riddle to the DADA interview with Dumbledore in 1967 and was a classmate of Tom Riddle. His father is the Nott we see in the graveyard and the DoM. Basically, I think there are two of them and that it isn't the same guy.

4. His mother is a pure-blood witch, and she is dark and wasn't a fan of muggleborns either, but she also wasn't a fan of Voldemort. She disagreed with his methods more than anything. She didn't believe in the Death Eaters war or their means of dealing with muggleborns/muggles (although her solution probably wasn't great either, but it wasn't murdering all of them, so...)

5. Theo is initially similar to his mother’s views, he doesn't necessarily like muggleborns, but he doesn't think they should all be hunted down. He thinks the issue is more complex than most blood purists think, after all, he'd be all for just leaving the muggleborns with the muggles like squibs, but they have magic, and doing that would inevitably lead to wizards' discovery.

Talking to Harry and Hemione would make him more accepting later on.

He also thinks the idea that muggleborns "steel magic" is ludicrous and contradicts everything known about magical theory. Even if he sees them as innately lesser due to his upbringing, he draws the line at contradicting magical theory.

6. He was always closer to his mom and sat at her bedside while she was dying.

7. Theo's mother died when he was 8.

8. In my headcanon Mr. Nott poisoned her over time and later in life when Theo learns of it he becomes very interested in poisons.

The why Mr. Nott killed her isn't something my mind is consistent about and the ideas range from revenge to ritual sacrifice to cover up.

9. He takes 3 electives in school: Care for Magical Creatures, Arithmancy, and Ancient Runes.

10. His favorite school subject is Ancient Runes.

11. His grades are pretty good with Es and Os — his Os being Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Potions, Transfiguration, Astronomy, and Charms, He got Es for History, Care, and DADA. Herbology is an A for him, he knows the theory well, but he has no interest in actually growing plants ("I could just buy them, I don't see why I'd need to grow my ingredients").

12. Theo isn't really a fan of magical candy, he thinks the enchantments on them are mostly cheap gimmicks.

13. The hat considered him for Ravenclaw, but eventually decided on Slytherin, not for ambition (Theo isn't very ambitious) but for cunning and resourcefulness. Plus kinda fearing his father's reaction if he wasn't in Slytherin.

14. Theo understands how to manufacture an image and unlike Draco, can look aloof and unimpressed when he wants to. He usually looks generally unimpressed and judgmental over something — that's his resting face trained into him by years of saying "yes, father" over everything.

15. Theo has a pretty good memory, but there is one thing, in particular, his father said he was forced to verbally agree to that is etched in his mind: "It's better now you aren't stuck to her bedside" after his mother died (or something along these lines).

16. He honestly loves magic and is often amazed at Harry's intuitive grasp of some complex theoretical concepts. Harry always gets bashful and defensive when he mentions it repeating it isn't that impressive. Theo disagrees with him.

17. Theo doesn't laugh a lot, and Harry cherishes every moment he does.

18. Theo's really quiet and spends more time with books than people. He usually doesn't like people all that much.

19. He and Harry would sometimes just sit in the same space without really talking or doing anything together besides sharing a space, but it is comforting and relaxing to both of them.

20. He was abused by his father (more emotionally and psychologically than physically. Mr. Nott didn't hit him like a muggle, he might've cast some curses that don't leave a mark, but mostly he was distant and an emotionally manipulative piece of shit with impossible standards)

I can see some of Mr. Nott's punishments including, like, grounding with silencing charms and shit like that.

21. Theo would kill his father if he could get away with it.

22. The best years for Theo were 6th and 7th year. During 6th year his father was in Azkaban after the battle in the DoM, and in 7th he made sure to just ditch the UK with the money he stole from his father when he was in Azkaban. (Unless I'm diverging from canon before that)

He does come back to 8th year when that becomes an option.

22. The dynamic Theo has with his father when he grows older is like a weird sort of cold war with each of them counting wins against the other. Almost like a really twisted game of who can get away with fucking up the other's life more. Mr. Nott is usually in the lead and Theo's in constant search for blackmail material he could use against his dad.

23. Theo doesn't really have too bad self-esteem issues thanks to his mom who was a positive influence on his self-image in his formative years. His father is pretty annoyed he couldn't curve some of her influence off Theo.

He does have a trusting and connecting to people issue.

The fact Harry doesn't just treat all relationships as transactional where something would be given and something gained messes him up (in a good way).

24. Theo and Harry would, like, never go on a date somewhere public, they'll stick to hanging out just the two of them somewhere quiet.

25. I also headcanon that Theo could probably get Harry to study better because he'd actually appreciate his intuitive approach to magic and adapt the way he's explaining things to it.

26. They figured out they were both abused in a conversation that went something like this:

Harry: "My relatives don't like me much"

Theo (realizing): "My father doesn't like me much either"

Cue silent understanding and then they just continue whatever conversation they had before.

Later they would inevitably come back to this subject and talk about it more. Harry is honestly elated he can joke with Theo about ducking his uncle's fists without getting pitying glances.

27. He is less hot-headed than Harry and tends to not jump into action. He likes to observe first (even if there isn't always time for it).

28. Theo's the observe invisibly from the sidelines kinda guy. He knows a lot about people just from sitting quietly and listening. (I kinda used to do this in my former workplace, not on purpose, it was my ADHD, but I always knew all the rumors about everyone and what was going on with who even though no one told me any of it and they never realized I just sat quietly not actually reading on my phone while they were talking. It was kinda funny. Sometimes I'd tell my friends the really dramatic story I heard on the bus about complete strangers because I accidentally eavesdropped). Point is, Theo's got a blackmail folder, just in case. He just likes to have blackmail, even if he'll never use it. It's a safety net.

29. He is usually less brave than Harry, his bravery is very selective on how much he cares about whatever it is. He is a Slytherin, he has enough self-preservation for both him and Harry, but if he really cares about something, as we're shown with most Slytherins, all that self-preservation goes out the window.

30. Theo is pretty decent at planning for the long run or preparing, but these spare-of-the-moment plans Harry is so good at, aren't his strong suit. Theo is in his element when he has time to prepare for a situation.

31. He used to meet Draco and Pansy often when they were children because their parents were in the same circles, but he was never close to any of them. He doesn't really have friends, he has people he can talk to and be acquainted well enough with, but it's not really the epitome of friendship. Most of them are in Slytherin in the year above him.

32. Theo doesn't really play Quidditch (he says he's no good at it, and he's mostly right, like, he can fly a broom but he isn't great at it or anything), but he is a fan. He listens to games and follows up on team stats. When he was younger he and his mom would go to games together (she was on the Slytherin Quidditch team when she was a student).

[masked-fools]

❝ your old buddy sampo is a model citizen these days. y'know the guards on sentry duty in the restricted zone? i deliver their breakfast every day! ❞

— Sampo Koski, ancient relic specialist

Tavern Notice Board

14th of August — 20th of August

(1) coming home beaten and bruised [blade] — @milksnake-tea

platonic!blade x teen!reader where they come home battered. mentions of physical violence, bruises and blood

(2) an enchanting white day [jing yuan, dan heng, gepard, march] — @cnnmairoll

spending white day with them

(3) analysis of art & names in the simulated universe [aha] — @ahaclownery

post reviews the blessings in the SU, what they reference, and what it could mean for aha

(4) a book club for two [dan heng] — @cnnmairoll

in the intimate haven of dan heng's room, you both share a stack of books on his bed, the warmth of a cozy blanket draping over your legs as you enjoy each other's presence.

(5) seeing you wearing his clothes for the first time [blade] — @milksnake-tea

blade seeing you wear his clothes for the first time + prompt "you're so cute"

(6) lady fu's matchmaking service [jing yuan] — @eggluverz

fu xuan thinks the lonely general needs to go on a date, and you are just the person she wants to set him up with.

(7) first flower [gepard] — @cnnmairoll

amidst the blooming flowers of their shared home garden, you and gepard's love blossomed, nurturing not only the vibrant petals but also a profound and enduring connection between two hearts.

(8) a new history [welt] — @bladesmuse

ever since becoming a history professor at the city's university, Welt has been coming to the coffee shop where you work at the exact same time every single day without fail. coffee shop au.

(9) when they want attention [blade, dan heng, sampo, yaoshi] — @pyroxeene

what they do when they crave your affection and attention.

(10) a voice unheard [jing yuan] — @generalsmemories

if you're given the chance to meet someone you thought you wouldn't meet again, what would you tell them? almost lovers to strangers. hurt/comfort

(11) what their lips taste like [genshin men + aeons] — @pyroxeene

short headcanon post about what their lips taste like.

(12) napping with the dozing general [jing yuan] — @cnnmairoll

the "dozing general" jing yuan's legendary laziness transforms into heartwarming domesticity as you both find solace and love in shared naps, their tranquility echoing the depth of your affection within the bustling world of xianzhou.

(13) captured moments beyond the stars [luocha] — @cnnmairoll

in a world of boundless wonder, the foreign traveller luocha and you embark on interstellar journeys, capturing the essence of your shared love through photographs that become the foundation of a treasured album, a testament to the extraordinary adventures and the deep bond you nurture together.

(14) a rose for the ferryman [blade] — @pyroxeene

it is said that some people see the other side when they die even for just a brief moment. those near-death experiences often change them for good... blade wonders when the moment will come that he'll finally get to see you again. angst; open ending; near-death experience.

(15) culinary love knockout [luka] — @cnnmairoll

in the warmth of your shared domesticity, luka's request for your homemade lunchboxes becomes a cherished ritual that strengthens your bond and fills your hearts with love and laughter.

(16) blind dates & hidden feelings [dan heng] — @eggluverz

march 7th sets you up on a blind date with gepard and dan heng finds himself feeling jealous when he sees the two of you together.

(17) the entire fluff alphabet [jing yuan] — @pyroxeene

elaborate fluff alphabet for jing yuan. 7.2k words.

(18) sunday mornings & cookies [sampo] — @cnnmairoll

on a lazy sunday filled with flour-dusted laughter and affectionate banter, you and sampo create a batch of imperfectly perfect cookies, turning a simple baking session into a cherished memory of sweet delights and tender love.

(19) coming home beaten and bruised [nanook] — @milksnake-tea

you got hurt and nanook is ready to take revenge. hurt/comfort.

(20) late night conversations [dan heng] — @pyroxeene

you wake up to dan heng having a nightmare in the room next to you and decide to check up on him over text only to find that your fellow crew member seems to be a lot more open when sleep-deprived. confessions ensue.

[superconductivebean]

UM YOU CAN'T JUST PUT IMELDA/CONSTANCE FLASHBACK IN YOUR TAGS AND NOT SHARE *makes grabby fists*

hee hee i think i can call this

imelda reyes headcanons post - 8

Imelda Reyes: >>>1 || >>>2 (nsfw) || >>>3 || >>>4 || >>>5 || >>>6 || >>>7

Once again raising my head from the Brainrot fog to share some character headcanons with the world. Brainrot is a fic I’m working on.

This one is incredibly Brainrotted though, so no fandom tags.

And it's a bit messy I think.

I'll start from a tad far away.

A few months ago, while working on Julia's 6th year and its events, I began working on Hogwarts Quidditch Teams' compositions. To be frank but also to keep it short, Julia's 6th year covers the aftermath of the Rookwood's downfall; it caused an international scandal.

So, in order To Repair And Strengthen Bonds between The Magical Communities Of The Western Europe, the Triwizard Tournament has been announced to be taking place at Hogwarts during the school year of the 1891/92. It evidently holds Lots Of Politics, therefore has very little to do with any kind of tradition lest it assumed to be a fist in the British Ministry's face from the French and the Northerners joint effort to, well, regulate the trade more effectively unless anyone likes a magical sea warfare under the noses of muggles internationally.

Anyway, Julia wasn't chosen to participate in the Tournament. The Tournament is Natmara's moment to shine (apparently Amara made her way in Julia's story as a rival character many months ago but then uh, she and Natty were having a blast to the best of their abilities; Ancient Magic that, Sebastian this, no and no, Natty will slay).

Instead, Julia was suggested to try out for the Quidditch Team.

This bit is very important because Quidditch is Imelda's domain. And because of the Tournament, Hogwarts needed an entirely new team to represent itself in the interlude event of the interschool Quidditch matches. I'm convinced the schools would totally do that when they have a chance. Imelda was naturally hyped up -- but it meant she has to meet her disaster lesbian past of Constance (and Charlotte, too!).

Constance and Charlotte were fierce beaters, they were enlisted to Hogwarts School Team; on a side note, Julia, too, she was a reserve Seeker in case Danny -- also made his way into all this! -- wouldn't be available due to the extensive studying regimen for NEWTs.

So about that.

Imelda's 3d and 4th years were the time of her accepting she 1) liked girls 2) but not many girls, if any, liked her back 3) and if she tried to meet their expectations, the rejection felt sharp and heartwrecking.

I mentioned it somewhere, that I imagine Hogwarts to view clothes and other contemporary things very differently from muggles. If to retell it shortly, Imelda wasn't judged for her attire. But everyone had noticed it, and all inherited notions from the muggle world sipped through the speech. Her girlkissing ambition stopped being a some kind of rumour, she had basically said, no men allowed to court her.

Was 4th year Imelda comfortable with it? No.

But had she received attention she began to crave? Yes.

Had she been told not to date a Quidditch player from the opposite team, for her own team? Multiple times. She didn't listen.

Constance was a challenge and anything but a first love; something Imelda perhaps wanted, but Constance, being also a year older than her, realised Imelda needed something she didn't have. Their volatile relationship -- much the same of Beater-Chaser dynamic on the Pitch -- ended in a heated argument after Imelda's query for going further with this or not, to which Constance replied with a rhetorical bladger; decidedly so, as she wanted Imelda to feel alienated and left with an impression she was only asking for minute things, nothing more, nothing less. it hurt Imelda of course. She was young and very impressionable.

Years later she understood the message, though. She needed to state everything she could want from the beginning. But she was yet to understand what it was, and asking Constance about it felt incredibly wrong; she only knew the expectation of another could be met within reasonable limits of her own, anything beyond that meant a goodbye.

With an idea of a concept of a gist of the wish for something in a relationship that grants butterflies in the stomach but doesn't require any consummations or sacrifices for bits of crumples of shards of love and appreciation, Imelda crashed into Charlotte Morrison in her 6th year (an important detail).

The Hufflepuff Quidditch Team Captain, also a beater, and far less forgiving and playful than Constance, Charlotte was demanding.

She had certain expectations of the kind Imelda felt one could've been only born with. It alone was exhausting, and realisation people of her liking actually existed made Imelda jealous of them. Yet, she was only beginning to realise while there were limits, sometimes, that limit didn't have sense because nobody measures density with rulers.

The only similarity between them was competitiveness. Anything else could've been described as Badgers Eat Snakes; Eagles Hunt Snakes, by the way.

But unlike Eagles, Budgers leave the carcass.

Imelda was rejected again, and it felt horrible. Instead of a journey Charlotte required someone… ready for commitments, their own character, someone equal. It'd be incorrect to call Imelda inferior, but Imelda certainly felt that of herself when Charlotte left her around the final of the Quidditch season, in April'92.

I don't know how to tell it short, but uh

Imelda exploded with her pent up feelings at Julia, accused her of many things, all on Julia's birthday, and only stopped, realised she just told her bestie to fuck off and go seek out her Peculiar Special.

Julia, under a lot of stress due to being a less trained player and told mean things near constantly, didn't have it in herself to calm Imelda down or her what else she had to say, and just left.

It's important because after Julia left and was later found half-alive because A Certain Someone Mr De Vries Attack Her, Imelda had a mental breakdown because 1) she was accused of causing all of this 2) Julia told everyone to shut the fuck up and leave Imelda alone 3) Julia never rejected her but called out on calling Poppy a name , it was rude, Poppy was their mutual friend 4) The Lesbian Tragedy ensued because neither has left her stranded and offered a company understanding Imelda didn't mean all of this, made mistakes, it was alright, she was safe, she could stay for as long as she needed -- and the rest was history.

Somehow it became The OT3 Origin Story but Constance and Charlotte were important in Imelda's character development.

They shaped Imelda's understanding of what she should want from a person and a relationship as a whole. But she never knew she'd end up in a coven??? (wizworld's legal system would probably call it that and in the press, will be OMG LOOK THIS FORM OF LIVING HADN'T DIED OUT? GO GIRLS SHOW 'EM TELL 'EM TRADITION OF OUR WORLD HAS BEEN REVIVED!!!)

[halfetirosie]

🐟 Gotta love Rural Town Fuckery™! 🐟

(Scales 01 - 04 React-os!)

1) Starting off strong with a Yakumond [B]romance moment!!! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

I mean, to be fair to Edmond, he isn't exclusively obsessed with sweets---he's an all-rounder gourmet that can identify like all the ingredients in a dish just by tasting it---PLUS, I'm assuming that the cookbook Yaku is reading isn't only for baked goods.

So, unless this cookbook is custom-made by/for Edmond personally, it probably won't be full of overly-sweet meals...😅

(Come to think of it, that would make a pretty good gift for Edmond, wouldn't it?)

2) WOAH, are you saying that ye olden people would EAT YOKAI MEAT??? 😱😱😱

If that's true, then that's pretty fucked up... Like, I know they're technically not humans, but they're pretty close. At the very least, their intelligence level is the same.

I'm no vegetarian, but eating something that you can fully communicate with just feels SO wrong. 😬😬😬😬😬

3) The sparkles----I can't----😅😂

Olivine, my precious friendly boi....🤦‍♀️

This interaction reminds me of the Chapter where the Wood Territory gets all fucked up, and when Rei says they need something ancient (like the tree in the Water Territory) Garu suggests Kuya. 😅

4) Oh? A ceremony, you say?

I bet it's some sort of tithing ceremony where they give food offerings to merfolk in exchange for, like, protection?

They seem to have a dramatically different view of yokai (at least, fish yokai) compared to, say, the tribe in the Wood Territory.

5) Okay, so I was basically correct; except rather than providing protection, the villagers believe that the merfolk bless their weather and crops catches.

6) Awwwww! Look at this cute lil' fellow!

(It's so disappointed to see the villagers being so mean to Yaku when he's just trying to help. Like, sure, I understand that you're wary of outsiders. But why do you have to be assholes to the outsiders? If anything, won't that just make the outsiders have less goodwill towards you???

It could create a self-fulfilling prophecy; They assume the outsiders are bad without any evidence -> they treat the outsiders like shit -> the outsiders repay that attitude with more unfriendliness

I know Eiden and Yakumo are too nice to treat the villagers as badly as they're being treated, but what it they weren't? It could've ending quite badly for this village.

CONCLUSION: These villagers are mean and dumb! <( ⸝⸝•̀ - •́⸝⸝)>)

7) Eiden = ME

I legit had the same sort of thought when I saw Kuya here.

Like, yeah, it's always nice when they reveal the story outfits. But pairing Kuya's pretty-ass outfit with the pretty-ass night sky and ocean??? That hit different.

8) Oh no, he's hot!!! 😱

The devs are getting in on my self-inflicted meme, attacking me with another long-haired fantasy man...

I am both blessed and cursed...

9) Is that [I assume] fish yokai an old acquaintance of Kuya's???

I feel like he might be? Because why else would Kuya feel the need to watch him from afar?---Like, yeah, Kuya likes spying on people. But he usually wouldn't be that interested in another yokai unless he knew them, right???

---And SHIT, is this """Mysterious Youth""" referring to Huey???

I certainly wasn't expecting any new Huey Lore in this event...

I hope that mentioning Huey doesn't put Kuya in a pissy mood. 😬

🐟 End of report! 🐟

[lorainelegacy]

Fifty OC Questions!

Questions are from @localravenclaw's post. Thank you!

1. Describe your OC's physical appearance in detail.

Loraine is 23 years old. She has dark brown hair, usually pulled back in a scruffy ponytail or bun, as she finds it too much of a burden to wear it down. She has heterochromia. Her left eye is green and her right eye is yellow. In the words of Professor Fig: Two large, sparkling jewels. The left, a deep green that evoked the ancient forests of Scotland; the right, an amber yellow that seemed to contain the very essence of the sun.

She suffers from thrombocytopenia so despite having long, feminine legs, she always has some bruises or wounds due to the ill-treatment she was subjected to during her life at her aunt and uncle's house. She has several scars on her wrists and burn marks on her arms, back and thighs. Her most visible scar is the one on her right eyebrow She never shows her body.

2. Why'd you choose your OC's name?

I simply like the name Loraine. There is nothing interesting behind it.

3. How does your OC feel about their birthday?

She has never celebrated it so it is not a special day for her.

4. How does your OC and their parents get along?

Her parents died when she was a child, but she assumes she had a good relationship with them.

5. What's something you'd never put your OC through again?

I don't know.... unfortunately for her, the author is too fond of drama.

6. What's your OC's go-to comfort meal?

The Dundee Cake. She loves sweets, but her favourite is the Dundee Cake, as its texture is very soft and it has both nuts and fruits!

7. What career path would your OC take?

She has a divided heart: on the one hand she would like to become a famous Magizoologist, due to her love and innate talent for understanding animals, or Potioneer to help others.

8. What's something your OC can't do?

Public speaking and interacting with strangers. Of course she can talk, but she does not feel comfortable at all and as soon as a conversation starts she wants to go back to her place of comfort. Something derived from the lack of socialisation to which she was subjected since she was a child. However, thanks to her new friends, and above all, thanks to Fig, she has managed to cope much better with this problem.

9. What is your OC's ideal romantic partner?

She has suffered a lot. So she simply wants a man who will love her and stand by her no matter what. She just wants to feel loved, nothing more.

10. Does your OC like to spend time alone or with others more?

Although Loraine enjoys spending time with her friends, especially Ominis and Sebastian, she prefers to read or draw in Fig's office. It is her sanctuary and where she really feels happy and comfortable. As I have mentioned before, she has trouble socialising and sometimes in the middle of a conversation, even with her friends, she gets overwhelmed and desperately needs to run away.

11. What time does your OC usually go to sleep?

It depends on the day, she usually stays up reading until she falls asleep and on other days she goes to sleep straight away. However, she does not like to sleep too much because she feels she is "wasting valuable time."

12. Where in the sibling order is your OC?

She has no siblings.

13. What's the worst thing your OC's ever done?

Probably thinking about killing her uncle, but she can't be blamed for it…

14. What would it take for your OC to kill someone?

Someone hurting a very important person to her.

15. What item does your OC hold most dear?

The second-hand wand Fig gave him the first day they met. As she lost her parents at such a young age, she has no memories of them. Her only memories were lost the day she was on her way to Hogwarts with Fig and a dragon attacked them.

16. How does your OC unwind?

Loraine loves spending time with her magical creatures in the Room of Requirement: playing with them, feeding them, brushing them and even drawing them! She has a notebook full of drawings and although she also draws portraits of people, her favourite thing in the world is drawing creatures and landscapes. She also enjoys music very much. She plays the piano, but for some strange reason she can't remember how she learned to play. Another thing she loves to do is to simply take her broom and fly through the sky, although she prefers to fly on a hippogriff because according to her ‘it's a completely different and unique experience’.

17. What's your OC's star sign?

Cancer. She is very emotional, sensitive, understanding and attached to the people she loves. According to this sign: Cancer horoscope people are characterised by being one of the most challenging signs of the zodiac, they can be difficult to understand and have a very shy personality to a very daring one. In addition, they are people with a somewhat discordant character and behaviour with rapid changes of mood.

In the crab that represents them, the shell signifies an introverted nature with an armour that is difficult to penetrate, a need for self-protection when they feel unsafe or feel intrusive in their life or habits. Cancers are known as the most dramatic, tenacious and imaginative in the horoscope.

18. What kind of drunk is your OC?

She hates alcohol for obvious reasons.

19. Who does your OC end up with?

Eleazar Fig.

20. Who is your OC's role model?

Again: Fig. He is the centre of her universe. Not only did he change her life when he appeared that day offering to accompany her on an unexpected adventure, saving her from the jaws of her uncles. He taught her little by little what love means. It was not only his ability to conjure spells that captivated her, but the depth of his understanding, the tenderness of his guidance, and the steadfastness of his protection. For her, there is no other wizard more exceptional than him.

21. Is your OC big on revenge?

She wouldn't hesitate for a second to take down anyone who harms the people she loves or anyone who makes animals and creatures suffer.

22. If your OC ever got the chance, would they go back in time? When would they go?

She wished she could have saved her parents' lives, but she was so young that it would have been useless to go back in time. It would have ended all the same. Loraine was destined to have that terrible childhood.

In one of the endings of my fanfic Professor Fig sacrifices himself to save her, which is unfortunately the canon ending of the game we all know. So yes, in that ending she would have wished to go back in time and be the one who sacrifices herself, since losing Fig made her world never the same and she was never happy again.

23. What's your OC's favourite memory?

She has too many, but if I have to highlight a few:

The dance with Fig at that harvest festival in a small village in the south of Scotland. Because they both saved the village from an attack by the Ashwinders, the villagers made them king and queen of the harvest. She was presented with a beautiful wreath of flowers and Fig, although he flatly refused, with a necklace. Apparently a very typical thing to do there. That dance would be engraved in her heart forever.

Another very special memory for her was the first time she rode a Hippogriff, or the time she saw a Phoenix for the first time. One of the most wonderful creatures she had ever seen. Or when she managed to ‘tame’ the Lord of the Shore, an imposing and magnificent Graphorn. She still remembers Fig's face when she saw him return on the back of that huge creature.

There are too many memories.

24. Will your OC ever admit to being wrong?

She apologises too much, even when she does nothing wrong. So of course she has no trouble apologising or acknowledging her mistakes.

25. Is your OC doomed by the narrative?

I don't know what this question means exactly, but I suppose it does. Although in my fanfic there will be different endings.

26. Would your OC get along with you?

Of course!

27. What's one thing your OC will never get over?

It is very obvious, but the loss of the people she loves. She would simply feel completely alone in the world.

28. Is your OC going to make it?

No. She will probably never be the same again.

29. Does your OC look their age?

Yes.

30. What weird pet would your OC have?

She literally takes any creature to the Room of Requirement. Professor Weasley was greatly alarmed when she heard that she kept a dragon there. But he was badly injured, what else could she do?

31. Does your OC care a lot about their appearance?

Not too much, she almost always wears her hair tousled. However, she does like dresses and elegant clothes.

32. What's one food your OC can't stand?

She hates cheese or any food that smells bad or is excessively spicy.

33. What animal do people associate your OC with?

It had to be a cat. Her heterochromatic eyes are the most characteristic of her, and not only that, even her excessively affectionate behavior with Fig makes her look like a feline. So much so, that the shape of his Patronus is a Norwegian forest cat.

Loraine is passionate about animals, so of course she went through the whole process to be an Animagus. She loves to take the form of a cat or a red kite.

34. what's your OC's "thing"?

I don't know if the question refers to something material or to behavior. I don't know how to answer lol.

35. Random fact about your OC

She can't stand being in a messy room.

36. Would your OC sleep with a clone of themself?

Umm no? What a strange question.

37. What part of yourself do you love in your OC?

My determination, perhaps.

38. What's the lowest point in your OC's life?

Several suicide attempts.

39. What's your OC's biggest achievement?

Her greatest achievement? I could say that saving the school and the wizarding world from Ranrok's plans. But really her greatest achievement was overcoming her traumas and depression.

40. Does your OC ever go back home?

She has no home to return to.

41. How would your OC adapt to the modern world?

I think she would suffer an anxiety attack seeing so much technology and tall skyscrapers. Not to mention the music!

42. Does your OC have any unique talents?

Aside from being able to control Ancient Magic, Loraine is good at understanding the needs of animals and quite skilled in Potions.

43. Does your OC exist in canon or AU timeline?

Hmm no, I think. I don't quite understand the question lol.

44. Is your OC a people person?

She is a kind and charming person, but she just doesn't like to talk to people too much. She prefers the company of animals.

45. Did your OC ever have an alternative name?

Before choosing the name 'Loraine' I thought of calling her 'Aura' since it is the name of the protagonist of a fanfic that I started many years ago.

46. Does your OC possess any special powers?

Apart from controlling Ancient Magic no, she does not possess any special powers. Is being a metamorphmagus considered a special power?

47. Is your OC allergic to anything?

She is allergic to pollen, but she loves them anyway.

48. Does your OC have a lot of uncommon knowledge? How do they know it?

As I said, she can understand animals, but I don't know if it's knowledge to be taken into account. She doesn't know how she got that gift, if it can be considered that.

49. Does your OC have any scars or birthmarks with an interesting story?

Yes, she has a lot of marks and scars on her body. But there is no interesting story behind them.

50. What do you love and hate most about your OC?

What I like most is that despite everything she suffered in the past, she is a kind and cheerful person. I also admire her ability to cope with her life as a student with all the problems that arise and also help anyone who asks her for help. Perhaps that kindness in excess is something negative. She gives too much to people and that makes her forget to pay attention to herself and her own happiness.

[sassykinzonline]

What was your Coachella of 2016?

Basically the outfits you wore throughout the years (doesn’t matter if we only see them once) and rate them and why you wore them?!

thank you for elaborating because i have 0 idea what coachella is

i cant be bothered to find an individual picture for all of these so heres a reference and i'll just talk about them in order

kiddo fit : was comfy and matched my brother, 6/10. could be more individual and fun, but was sentimental.

new graduate fit: still comfy, unique colour for the uchiha. i think i chose that shade of blue because it made a statement without being....garish. i wanted to separate myself from my brother. short-sleeves because i run pretty hot. 7/10, still basic but more individual.

genin fit: iconic. form, style, and function, as i mentioned in a different ask, the leg and arm warmers worked to hide ninja tools like my strings. 10/10, i think when most people think of me they think of this.

chunin exam fit: this one was a functional outfit. i spent pretty much all that time training in the middle of nowhere with a technique that was dangerous and painful. the bandages and the braces are to help stabilize my arms for the chidori without being a fire hazard like the arm and leg warmers would've been. i also had a lot of burns and sprains that i needed to treat while still training. 5/10, at least it's useful but i'm not proud of the fact that i chose a romper because rock lee wore a jumpsuit.

otogakure fit: another iconic fit. this is actually a combination of function and a fashion statement. the hakama was open because i didnt want to buy new clothes every time i used my curse mark. the obi and the blue cloth help me carry kusanagi while also maintaining the samurai silhouette. to be brief, i represented myself as a samurai because i was single-mindedly dedicated to the honour of my clan. 10/10, perfect.

renegade fit: this is actually my favourite outfit. it was comfortable both in terms of fabric and movement. i like the colours. i think it's attractive and makes me look dangerous. the bandages were necessary but still look cool, and the ones on my forehead make you wonder "is he reclaiming konoha?" 11/10.

akatsuki fit: my hair was a disaster so i kind of wish i had made more use of the hood. at the same time though, i wanted the fear that my face and the akatsuki cloak combined would inspire. 4/10, the only points here really come from the improvement on the cloak. youre welcome obito.

konoha crush pt 2 fit: i...am ambivalent towards this look. it kept me cool and it looked nice. i think the return to the short sleeves was some sort of reclamation of my youth, but it also feels confused and speaks to my mental state. it made me recognizable but still not exactly the same as before. 8/10.

vote 2 fit: i mean...the silhouette changed to something really similar to my brother's clothes under his cloak. the clothes were torn. im glad i wore short sleeves since i ended up losing an arm. 4/10, somehow the result of a lot of effort and no effort at the same time.

from this point on, i didnt actually wear any of these outfits as they are so i'll just comment on what i like and what i actually wore.

10. ronin fit: so i did wear a headband but i wore it under my bangs, but that was because i used a bow often to hunt for food. i think this outfit is ugly and im annoyed at it. 3/10 for the poncho. i did wear a poncho type thing, but i wore it more like the otogakure outfit--folded down around my waist for access to my weapons but easy to pull back over myself for warmth. i wore a long sleeved mesh shirt for compression to help with the phantom pains in my arm, and a shirt and pants that looked like my brother's but in a darker blue. you can imagine something similar to what gaara wore the first time we met him with the asymmetrical visual of a japanese archery uniform. in my mind i was thinking more artemis/ancient greece.

11. interpol fit: i dont hate this but i dont love it. it doesnt really fit for the purposes i wouldve been using it for because it just stands out a lot and looks like a military outfit. 4/10 because it's not ugly, but the form betrays the function. in actuality i wore something similar to the renegade fit, just in more plain colours and a full haori. think a farmer's outfit in tan with black accents and black pants. dark blue haori over everything to keep warm and look plain. i was trying to blend in with civilians.

12. dad fit: i feel like this is something more like what itachi would wear at that age, but i do like it. the cloak seems cumbersome at this point though, i would overheat fast. 7/10. since im nowhere near this age, i'll comment on what i wear these days for missions. it's pretty similar to the renegade fit as well, but the hakama is left fully open and worn more like a vest. in a kendo uniform, you tie up the sleeves but in my case i tie them up to essentially make the hakama sleeveless. i just wear a somewhat loose tank top under that. picture charasuke. on the bottom i wear athletic shorts that i suppose are similar to the ones i wore as a genin but longer and maybe a bit looser. long shin guards and ninja sandals as well, so it looks a bit similar to the bottom of the otogakure era clothing but more kendo than samurai. colours vary but i tend to keep it all black, grey tank top. if im feeling festive then grey shorts, black tank top, blue hakama. i do own an orange tank top thanks to naruto. naruto also made me a necklace with just one pearl on it. it looks both like the full moon but also his sun mark, so it's nice.

around the village i just wear a dark blue haori with sweats and a t-shirt. nothing too interesting because konoha doesnt deserve that from me.

[of-elves-and-mad-hatters]

"The Azure Sky" - Chapter 11

Masterlist 

Request Guidelines

Shadows to the Brightest Flame: Series

- The legacy of Lumia’s influence is scarred eternally into the lands of Elvendale. Burdened by a prophecy foretelling her demise and need for a successor, she watches for one capable of such power. Yet her enemies are working steadily to undo all she’s labored so long for, and it is millenia too late to make peace. 

Emily Jones, heir to Eimileen, is a bold girl dedicated to protecting Elvendale, but the world she has grown so fond of is not so black and white as it seems, and the titles of Guardian of Portal and Guardian of Light may hold darker legacies some ancient elves have worked tirelessly to hide

In conjunction with the extended version of the Guardian of Light prophecy I wrote previously

Basically a rewrite of all of the Lego Elves & Secrets of Elvendale storylines with an additional arc beyond the Season 4: Into the Shadows. There will be a varying degree of deviation from canon.

Technically a crossover with Lord of the Rings/Hobbit/Silmarillion in terms of worldbuidling, as I set Elvendale as being north of Middle-Earth, cause this is fanfic and I can. So there will be mentions of the Noldor, Sindar, Silvan, and some Tolkien characters, but they will be mostly background. Definitely not an issue if you aren’t familiar with the Middle-Earth fandom; everything will still be easy to understand.

Book 1: The Azure Sky

Grieving over the unexpected death of her grandmother, Emily Jones is accidentally trapped in another world. Befriending a few young elves in an attempt to find her way home, Emily discovers many secrets about her grandmother’s past, but for every truth she learns two more questions take its place, leaving her vulnerable to darker force inhabiting this realm. 

A rewrite of Unite the Magic

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10 

_________________________________

Chapter 11

Eimileen must have loved this place. 

The small, open-air market of Urisil is like something out of a painting, surreal in the way light shines down through the silk canopies, crystals and lanterns illuminating the stalls, the structures surrounded by trees.

Emily’s gaze is darting around, trying to absorb it all, a grin helplessly plastered on her face. She doesn’t even hear Naida’s voice at first; the water elf has to tap her on the shoulder. “Emily, are you sure this will be enough? Do you need anything else?”

She looks down at the small pile of clothes Naida’s about to pay for, absorbing the question. Enough? She’s relying on the water elf’s expertise for what the mountain weather will be like, only Emily isn’t an elf, and humans seem to be frail in comparison. 

“Another coat? Just to be on the safe side?” 

Naida nods, and the shopkeeper suggests a fur-lined one in a dark, muted blue. 

Emily reaches a hand absentmindedly to her amulet. It feels cold again, prickly with static. Unpleasant. 

An intense spark jolts her finger. She recoils. 

A rush of half-faded images, a memory, impress upon her mind. Her eight-year-old self trembling under a quilt on her grandmother’s couch, crying because there was a wailing thunderstorm that night and she hated the way the world looked when it was lit up by lightning. 

They illuminated the dark faces in the trees, the ones too melded with the night to see any other time. And she begged her grandmother to make them go away. 

Her grandmother smiled pityingly, and whispered that she was too old to be hunting spirits anymore, but not to worry, that the dark things were farther away than they appeared, and that there were barriers that kept them locked away. Because that’s how the light deals with darkness, by casting it far away. 

Of course there were the few who dealt with things by swallowing the shadows, but her grandmother told her never to pay them much mind. That you should just tell them white lies because they tended to be grumpy and might not otherwise help anyone with the darkness. 

Little Emily objected. Her parents said that lying was always wrong. 

Her grandmother only smiled gently, tucked a strand of hair behind the child’s ear. Whispered, “Sometimes the only way to love is to lie”. 

And lie, Eimileen most certainly did, only Emily isn’t sure she can see the love in that particular choice. How was concealing her own heritage, the world she’d grown up in and loved, necessary to love her human family? 

“Something on your mind?”

Emily’s eyes flicker over to Naida. “Nothing…everything. I don’t know,” and she shrugs her shoulders. 

“I did not mean to upset you.”

The human shakes her head. “You didn’t. Sometimes, I just feel overwhelmed, still.” She hesitates. “…and I guess it doesn’t help that this amulet continues to surprise me.” 

Naida frowns. “How so?”

“Just little things. Like feeling as though it were charged with static electricity. Like sparking an old memory of my grandmother that I had forgotten…” Emily shakes her head. “I don’t know. It drew me to this realm. It wanted me to come here. But somehow I have this feeling it doesn’t like me very much. Does that sound stupid? I mean, it’s an amulet, not a person.”

Naida reaches out, just grazing the stone with her fingertips. “It is an artifact of great power. I’d be surprised if it did not behave strangely.” She tilts her head, thoughtful. “It was given to you by Eimileen. It should be loyal to you, but perhaps it is not fully confident in its new owner. Sometimes trust must be earned.” She takes a deep breath then, as if washing away her contemplations. “Come. We need to be on our way if we are to still stop by the bakery and return to the others by nightfall.”

________________________________________

After regrouping that night, and a restful sleep, the five travelers began their trek up the mountain paths. They hike in single file; Aira leading with the map, Farran just over her shoulder, Emily securely in the middle of the entourage, and Naida and Azari bringing up the rear. 

The human pulls her cloak tighter over her shoulders, shivers. The spots of green grass along the path are tinged with frost; she can see her breath in the crisp air. The higher they climb, the sky shifts from lavender to a crystal clear blue, unmarred by cloud and occasionally broken by birds flying in the distance. 

Emily feels Naida’s eyes on her, and hears the water elf shout, “It’s time for a rest!”. 

Aira jerks her head back, confused until her gaze falls on the human girl. “The path widens just around the next bend. Plenty of space to set up camp.” Emily can barely hide her sigh of relief. 

The narrows path does end up widening suddenly into a clearing that had been intentionally carved into the side of the mountain. Out on the edge of outcropping, to their left, stands a dilapidated windmill. The sky is quickly dimming to dusk, and Azari builds a fire close to the face of the mountain. Emily drops to her knees, stretching out her hands to warm them. She nods in Aira’s direction,“So, how much farther to the next key?” 

Azari shrugs. 

Aira, overhearing, trills, “Just a few more miles!”

“And what are we looking for, exactly?” inquires Farran. 

The wind elf finally seats herself around the fire, spreading the map on the ground, and reads, 

“Under the wings of those who rule the skies

Buried in the dark with all they find precious

An ancient hold for a beast long dead

Forgotten by those who knew not the days of malice”

Farran’s eyes widen. “A dragon cave.”

Dragon? “Wait, do you mean like an actual fire-breathing dragon, or is that a metaphor for something?” Emily questions. 

“Well, not all dragons breathe fire, but yes,” Naida confirms, “The riddle clearly points to the actual lair of one of those creatures. One long deceased.”

Azari scrunches her face, “But what on earth does the line ‘Forgotten by those who knew not the days of malice’ mean?”

Aira frowns. “Maybe it’s referring to a melkorian dragon.”

Naida mirrors her frown. “Let’s hope not. Their treasure hoards are rumored to be cursed, inciting delirium in those who linger too long.”

Emily winces at the thought. “So, what’s the difference between a melkorian dragon and other dragons?”

“Dragons are native to these lands, present at the time of creation, and friends of the northernmost elves. Melkor, an evil and powerful spirit to the south, captured a dragon and transformed it. Twisted its mind and body into a weapon of war. Its descendants we call melkorian dragons. They range from apathetic to completely wicked. Devouring sentient peoples like cattle, and hoarding gold with a compulsive greed far outweighing the natural dragons’ appreciation for beautiful gems.

It’s easy to tell the two races apart. Melkorian dragons grow to be far larger, and more powerful. Unlike other dragons, who are colorful and shimmer in the light, the scales of melkorian dragons are dull and muted in hue. They dwell along our southern borders, a frequent threat to the cities there. Though some have claimed that in rare cases, elves have been able to befriend these drakes, and redeem their natures. 

The last time melkorian dragons came this far north was before elves had established permanent towns up here, just scattered settlements. A treasure hoard of their kind would be very ancient indeed, at least by our reckoning,” the water elf explains. 

Emily absorbs this, picking a croissant out of the bakery bag being passed around the campfire. She pulls the bread apart, only realizing how hungry she is once she takes a bite. “If the cave was made by a dragon, which can fly, how do we know if it’s even accessible on foot?”

“We don’t,” Aira chirps. “But don’t worry, I’ve invented dozens of different ways to get around the problem of flight!” 

Azari makes a nauseated expression. “Flight is a problem, all right. And something to be avoided, not solved.” 

“Nonsense! Once you get over your fear of plummeting to your death…”

“Aira, stop,” Naida cuts her off. “We’re about to go to sleep, and you’re going to give Azari nightmares over a hypothetical situation.” 

“Fine. But a few pegasi-sky-diving sessions would really do her a world of good.”

_________________________________

Emily opens her eyes. She blinks, slowly, the world around her seeming blurred. The air around her is heavy with fog; she can barely distinguish the forms of her sleeping friends around the remnants of their campfire. 

The mist is dark, but as she peers into the night, she sees even deeper, darker shapes in the distance. They’re indistinct, fluid, with glowing blue eyes. Shadows. 

Emily sits up, wary, pulling her legs to her chest. The shadows are whistling, a high-pitched almost-white noise that makes her ears ache. There are whispers, too, in her head. Overlapping, wispy phrases, aggressive, rambling on and on about mortals and the passageway. 

Electric blue lightning crackles through the fog. Emily’s amulet begins to glow, shining like the shadows’ eyes. It levitates, lifting itself from the girl’s chest until the chain bites into the back of her neck. 

It’s leading her.

Shaking with apprehension, Emily allows herself to be pulled to her feet. She stumbles forward, the heavy fog obscuring anything more than a couple yards ahead. She’s lead further up the narrow mountain trail, winding endlessly towards a sky she can’t see. 

At some point, she’s turned sharply to the left. The girl continues walking forward, but realizes the ground feels different, absent. She looks down to see a gaping chasm beneath her. 

Emily considers, for the first time, that this might be a dream.

As though air were as solid as stone, the girl is lead on. She trips when her feet meet rock again, scraping her shins on a jagged outcropping. There’s a rough-hewn path with deep gauges that perhaps could have been carved from talons, if it was ever possible for a creature to have claws as wide as a school bus. 

The rock is damp from the mist, and Emily ends up sliding down the tumultuous path. Now with a scratched-up arms to match her bloody legs, she barely has time to catch her breath before the amulet drags her forward again, and enters the mouth of a monstrous cave. 

The blue glow of the amulet is her only source of light, and even that is quickly swallowed up by the darkness. Every step she takes sends small, clinking objects scattering. Gold, gems, she can’t tell what kind of treasure she’s stumbling through, but the deeper she’s lead, the more her legs sink into the hoard. 

Emily’s standing knee-deep when the amulet stops. Glow softening, it drops back against her chest with a soft thud, the surface crackling with static electricity. As its light dims, another light, deeper in the cave, moves towards her. It grows rapidly in size as it approaches, a dark, shadowy shape forming in its center, evolving into a humanoid shape. 

Emily’s heart drops. It’s them, the presence she felt in the forest. She’s sure of it, even though a part of her mind reminds her that this could just be a dream, a nightmare. 

“Who are you?” she asks, trying to still the tremor in her voice. 

“Who?” the shadowy figure repeats, tilting its head. The voice is warped, but it sounds vaguely female. “Who I am never really mattered to your grandmother. She held her own assumptions as gospel. So why do you inquire? Or did she not warn her own descendant of the dangers of this realm?”

“She must have had her reasons,” Emily spits back, defensive. “And it’s too late for me to ask her now. But I can ask you why you’ve been stalking me, and how you’re somehow connected to her amulet.”

“It was a gift, and a foolish mistake.”

Emily lifts her hand, letting it hover over the jewel, feeling the sharp pricks of electricity jumping to her skin. “Is that why it hurts me? Because you regret giving my grandmother the amulet?”

“Because I made it, and Eimileen used it for something I never condoned. As long as its purpose is being abused, it will always try to find its way back to me.” The shadow’s voice grows in volume, the cave beginning to shake. “It may be yours, little half-blood, but don’t mistake ownership for loyalty. For your own sake, give the amulet to the guardian of the castle. She has sworn to safeguard it till I return to these lands.”

The shadowy figure vanishes into a wreath of blue and green light, as the ground opens up underneath Emily, crumbling away. She falls, jewels and coins pouring in after her. And far beneath, in the darkness, are hundreds of glowing blue eyes, waiting. 

_______________

A/N: I can't believe it's been two years since I've updated this story, and a full year since I shared a segment of this chapter as a WIP. I'm so sorry to have made everyone wait so long! Hopefully, now that I'm over the hurdle that was this clunky chapter, I can finish the Azure Sky this year? Crossing my fingers.

[jw-horror-stories]

Ooh, I love telling my JW stories!!

1. (tw familial abuse) First off, I was lucky enough to not have had other kids my age in our congregation, so I wasn't really pressured into baptism. I got out when I was 16,it was a bit messy but no comparison to how it would have gone had I been baptised.

2. My mom was actually allowed to get a divorce! But only after she wrote to Bethel. My father was abusive to everyone in our family (my mother as well, but not quite as bad as him). She asked the elders in oir congregation to be allowed to get a divorce, but they didn't allow it. My older sister just turned 18 (I was a toddler, my younger brother a baby) and threatened my mom to go to CPS and try and get custudy for me and my siblings. So my mother wrote to Bethel, told them about everything and they allowed he to get a divorce. It was really messy and we had to go to a different congregation.

3. Said sister was disfellowshipped when I was 4 for having a boyfriend. Until then I had spent almost every day and night either with her or my other sister. From one day to the next I wasn't allowed to see her anymore and basically only then started living with my mom and my brother.

4. My elementary school teacher bullied me for being JW and poor. That's not JW fault (she also did this to the only muslim kid in my class and another poor kid) but it still sucks.

5. When I was 12 two elder (both over 50) talked to me about my nail polish. They said that it was really disrespectful to tempt men like that and asked if I wanted to be a stumbling block or viewed as a whore.

6. I actually don't have much to tell about evolution, because it was only briefly mentioned in my science lessons. The teachers knew about our religion, so I wrote one sentence at the end of the test (something like "scientists believe..., but I believe the bible") and that was done.

6. I do however remember how I debated pro life in politics class. Like the good jw I was I usually didn't really participate in our politics lessons, only enough to get an ok grade. But I cann still feel how my heart was beating because I was so horrified that my classmates were okay with "killing babies" (while praying for God to kill everyone who isn't jw).

7. I also remember when I was 11 (?) and I finally found two friends in school (who I was only allowed to see in school and for schoolwork) that I thought how nice it would be if someone killed them, because then they would be resurrected (also thought that the kindest thing to do would be if one person decided to kill as many people as possible, because they themselves would not get into paradise, but they would help others, because if you have already been resurrected it would be easier to decide FOR the truth). You know, normal kids thoughts...

8. I was constantly terrified that I would have unforgivable thoughts. I always had a "what if..?"-mind, so as a very young child I thought about "what if this is the dream and our dreams are the real world?" "How do we know what's real?" and stuff like that and I always had doubts in my mind (although of course I did everything to suppress them). When I learned that blasphemy was unforgivable and that a lot of stuff is considered blasphemy in jw circles I was even more afraid of my own mind.

9. One time my mom found my brother's Yu-Gi-Oh cards and freaked out because ot would certainly invite demons into our home. (I was slightly better at hiding my stuff)

10. Also, my family is convinced that my father invited demons into our home because he read Stephen King.

11. When I went to 7th grade I had to choose between learning French or Latin. I always wanted to learn Latin because I always had athing for ancient languages and "useless" knowledge. But my mom said that I would only need Latin if I wanted to go to college so I had to choose French. I had 5 years of French, hated every second of it and now that I could actually use it, I have to relearn everything because I forgot everything. Now I really like it btw, but now its purpose is;vt to keep me from acquiring "the wisdom of men".

You're among the more fortunate. This is good.

I'm actually quite surprised they Guv'Body actually relented.

Separating families. Classic Guv'Body technique.

That's messed up. Though sadly I don't have any words of advice regarding teachers abusing students (I'm here for Jehovah's Witness Horror Stories, not School Horror Stories).

Honestly by this point the Elders are most likely projecting their own sexual desires. In layman's terms I think they may be pedophiles themselves.

(You put 6 twice so I'll just merge the two). It's amazing how one's cult programming can bleed into everyday life. I like to think that it's this very same bleeding that caused me to start asking questions.

That's the very same hypothetical I've brought up on at least one occasion regarding logical extremes. Believing that the dead will simply await judgement after Armageddon, etc etc. A horrific proposition, if you ask me.

It's stuff like this that makes it easy to scare people into submission. Make someone unable to trust their own instincts, and they'll cling to anything and anyone who acts as their "leader". A dictator's favourite pasttime.

I've basically just learned never to share my interests beyond the barest of descriptions because of this.

I've heard of several regimes that would try to snuff out literature. They rhyme with "Mittler", "Chtalin", and "Meow".

Reading Latin would've helped you read some of the older Bible literature, and therefore poke holes into JW theology. I FEEL LIKE I SEEN THIS SOMEWHERE.

-Degurechaff, dropping the "Mod" prefix.

[hbyrde36]

Chapter 15!

Steve Harrington: Vampire Hunter

ao3 link

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Whoever was at Steve’s front door was persistent. They rang the bell over and over again as he rushed around, shoving his legs into a pair of sweatpants so he wouldn’t have to greet whoever it was in his underwear. He wasn’t expecting anyone this morning. Robin hadn’t texted and Wayne wasn’t due to pick him up for hours.

He padded barefoot to the door and was so annoyed by the constant buzzing that the second he reached it he threw it open wide. He couldn’t have been more surprised to find Jane, the scary young girl from Henry Creel's house standing on his doorstep.

“What, uh, can I, um, do for you, Jane?” Steve stuttered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

She didn’t say a word in reply, just smiled and raised her hand palm-up in front of her face and made a little oh with her lips. Steve had a fraction of a second to notice the black powdery substance she was holding before she was suddenly blowing it right in his face. 

Whatever that stuff was, whatever she had done to him, the effect was immediate. The world around Steve swam and he felt himself begin to fall. He waited for the pain to hit him but it never came, blackness overtook him before he ever hit the floor. 

Steve came-to in a dark room with a dirt floor. It was cold enough to make him shiver and wish he had thought to throw on a t-shirt before answering his front door. In his defense he hadn’t expected to be abducted today. It smelled damp and musty and the word cellar came quickly to mind. He could feel that he wasn’t alone, that he was being watched, but he hadn’t turned his head yet to confirm who it was and so far had been careful to only open his eyes a crack.  He kept his breath even as he took stock of himself. 

He’d been knocked out plenty of times before, and in a few different ways, but the weird thing about this time was, he remembered everything and he felt…fine. 

It was no different than waking up from a nap. Nothing hurt, and he wondered if he had ever even hit the ground or if Jane had floated him away once he passed out like she had done with the objects in Creel’s house. There was also no fuzziness to his thoughts like there usually was when he got hit too hard in the head. He had the hysterical thought that he wished more bad guys would use the stuff she had.  

He finally opened his eyes and turned over. In the low light of a few candles he could see Jane sitting on top of a box no more than a few feet away. 

No, not a box. A coffin. 

Right, so it was still daylight outside. The question was, who was in the coffin? Henry didn’t seem to need to hide from the sun nor did Steve think a man like that would lower himself to rest in a place like this. 

Only one way to find out.

Steve cleared his throat. “Who’s in the box?”

“Oh, so I see you’re done pretending to be asleep now.” Jane said.

Steve sat up, still a little amazed at how good he felt. 

He decided to act dumb, though it was only partly an act because he really didn’t know what the hell was going on. “All this wasn’t necessary, I told Henry I would think about his offer and I meant it, but I haven’t decided yet. He promised me time, so what’s with the kidnapping routine?”

Jane grimaced at the mention of the ancient vampire’s name. “I am no longer on Henry’s side, although he does not know that yet. I don’t know if you’ve met my friend Angela.” She said, patting the box beneath her. “She’s promised to free me and my sister from him. We had a plan, but neither of us expected him to get his hands on a real live necromancer, so we had to improvise. When I met you yesterday at the house I knew I had to stop you from joining him.”

Okay. He didn’t really understand what she meant, or what made him so special, but he couldn't worry about that now. His top priority was to get the hell out of there before Angela woke. She was old and powerful and would likely rise before sunset. He didn’t know what time it was now, he didn’t know how long he’d been out of it, he just knew he needed to hurry. 

He didn’t want to hurt Jane if he could avoid it. Maybe she could be reasoned with.

“I haven’t agreed to help him yet.” Steve repeated, glad that he was telling the truth and hoping the sincerity carried through in his voice. “What if I promise not to help him, will you let me go then?”

Jane sighed as if she suspected this conversation was coming, but wasn’t looking forward to it. “I’m sorry, but It’s more complicated than that now I'm afraid. We can’t have you helping your Master of the City either. Angela must kill him and rise to the position herself to have any hope of defeating Henry.”

Steve knew what was coming next. Jane would ask for his cooperation to put Angela in charge, which he was never going to do. He felt for Jane, in a way. If she really was doing all this to gain her and her sisters freedom, he could almost understand. Though, even the bad guys had families sometimes and he couldn’t afford to assume anything about this girl just because she loved her sister. 

But, maybe he could try to convince her that Angela couldn’t be trusted. 

“Jane, I know you don’t know me, and I don’t know much about your situation, but I have met Angela and I can assure she is not your friend. If Henry is bad, then she is worse. She…”

Jane cut him off. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. She is my friend! She promised!”

“Angela and her people have murdered innocents, Jane. Did you know that? Did she tell you what she did to them? Her and her friends attacked me and an older man, unprovoked. She almost killed us. And when we did manage to get the upper hand she was going to let us kill one of her friends. She didn’t care what happened to him.” 

“You’re making that up. You're trying to trick me!” She shouted

"No honey, I swear I’m not. I also swear that if you let me go I will do everything in my power to help you and your sister. It’s part of my job, to help people who are in trouble with vampires. Please, just let me go before she wakes, we can both go. I’ll keep you safe.”

Jane threw her hands over her ears and screamed wordlessly, trying to drown out what he was saying. As she did, things began to explode all around them. Glass mason jars, tins of screws, and barrels full of liquid. 

She hopped down off the coffin and stood glaring down at him with eyes simmering with fear and anger. “She warned me you would do this! She told me not to talk to you alone but you woke too early! She will be up soon and you will see. You will have to join us or die. There is no other choice. Anything else puts Kali at risk, so you better start preparing yourself for whatever fate you choose.”

Jane walked off to the other end of the space and sat down…on the bottom step. He hadn’t noticed it before but there were three short steps that led to a set of metal doors, only the barest hint of outdoor light visible around the edges. She had closed her eyes and seemed to be meditating.  

Steve wracked his brain for what to do. He was pretty sure he could overpower the girl physically, but Jane was a witch and he didn’t know the limits of what she could do. He had his own power he could try to tap into, but if he did that she would probably sense it and he would lose any element of surprise. 

There was one thing he could do. The one bit of magic he could do better than anyone else, it was as easy as breathing and required only the smallest amount of his power. He dug his fingers into the dirt floor and could sense the bodies that lay beneath it. He didn’t know if they were more of Angela's victims or if the house that stood above them had once belonged to a serial killer, but there were several sets of bones under this ground and one of them lay right under Jane’s feet.

He pushed his fingers further into the earth and called to the bones, releasing only the barest hint of his power. The zombie didn’t need to look good, it just needed to rise and do his bidding. In his mind he whispered to the dead man what he wanted him to do, along with an apology for using his earthly body this way. 

The zombie was ready, itching to burst towards the surface but Steve held him fast, told him to wait, wait for just one more minute.

Steve got to his feet and slowly approached the girl, better to be as close to the doors as possible before he gave away his advantage. 

Her eyes shot open at his movement. “What are you doing?” She asked, and she sounded appalled as if stunned he would move from his spot without permission. If she had really expected him to stay put maybe she should have tied him down. She wasn't very good at this. Maybe it was her first kidnapping. 

“You looked upset, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He lied. 

She tilted her head staring at him with furrowed brows. 

A few more steps and he’d be right in front of her, it was time. He let go of the metaphorical leash he was holding and instantly a bony hand broke through the packed dirt and grabbed on hard and fast to her ankle. 

Jane cried out and tried to wrench her leg from its grip. Steve dodged around her, praying that the door wasn’t somehow locked from the outside. It wasn’t, but there was a chain wrapped around the pull handles secured with a padlock. It was old and rusted, Steve yanked on it but the links didn’t break. He scanned the room sure there would be something around to help him break through, and he was right. There was a shovel with a metal head leaning against the wall only a few feet away. 

He lunged for it as he listened to Jane continue to struggle with his zombie. It had now completely escaped its shallow grave and had its arms locked around her waist. She was screaming in terror. He wondered why she wasn’t using her powers. Maybe all she had was telekinesis or maybe wrestling with an animated dead body that was nothing more than bones and bits of flesh was just frightening enough to make her forget about everything else.

He hit the chain with the head of the shovel as hard as he could. Three or four good whacks and the links snapped. He started to unwind the remaining length of chain from the door when the lid to Angelas coffin popped open with a crash. He’d hoped she would go for Jane first, to help free her from the zombie but of course she didn’t. She went right for Steve. He tossed the chain aside and quickly snapped the shovel handle in half over his leg. He may not have shoes or a shirt, but now he had two wooden stakes. It was better than nothing.

Angela grabbed Steve by the throat and slammed him into the steps, hissing in his face. His back hit the edge of one of the wooden planks and it hurt like a motherfucker but he managed to hold on to his only weapons. He jammed one of the bits of wood into her side, digging it in as deep as he could. It wasn’t a killing blow, but that wasn’t the goal here. He just needed to distract her long enough to get the doors open. The daylight would do the rest. 

She reared back, shrieking in pain and yelling at Jane to help her. Steve scrambled backwards up the final step and rammed his shoulder into the center of the double doors pushing them open and sending sunlight cascading into his end of the cellar. 

Angela shrieked again and threw herself further back into the shadows of the opposite end of the cellar.

Steve struggled to his feet, back aching and more than one splinter in the bottom of his foot, but he did it and ran out into the backyard of a small house. Autumn leaves crunched under his feet and the sound echoed behind him. He looked back over his shoulder to find Jane standing a few feet outside of the cellar watching his escape. He expected her to at least run after him, or worse, but she just stood there and shouted to him. 

“The black powder is deadly.” It was enough to slow him down, to give him pause. He turned to face her from twenty feet away. “There is no antidote, but I know a spell that will heal you. Otherwise, you’ll die within hours. Stay, agree to bond with Angela and I’ll save your life.”  

Steve wasn’t buying it, he felt fine. She was just trying to scare him into turning back. He was bathed in sunlight, Angela couldn’t get to him, and Jane seemed reluctant to leave her. 

He wouldn’t fall for it. He turned his back on her and ran.

Steve had been walking on the side of the road for only about ten minutes when a car pulled up beside him. He’d started out running, and kept it up until he could no longer see the abandoned house and he was sure that Jane wasn’t going to give chase, but his feet were getting torn up in the process and eventually he’d been forced to slow down.

“You look like you could use a ride.” A familiar female voice called out to him through the open car window.  

He stooped down to peer at the driver and sure enough, it was Nancy. He wasn’t in any position to refuse the help so he got in the car, albeit a little reluctantly. 

What was she doing out here? 

Wherever here was.

She looked him up and down before pulling the car back onto the road. “Are you okay? Do you need a doctor?” She asked. 

Apart from the pain in his back and his scratched up feet he was fine. Well that, and there was a tightness to his chest that was new, but that was probably from the running. “How did you know I was out here, Nance?”

“How do you know I wasn't just out for a drive and got lucky?”

He stared at her in silence, unblinking. 

She glanced between him and the road a few times and let out a long breath. 

“Fine. I saw the girl take you from your house. I followed you here. I swear I was going to come to the rescue, I just wanted to see what…”

“What the fuck Nance you followed me here? How did you see her take me, were you staking out my fucking house?”

“Yes! Alright? Yes, I've been watching you. I’m sorry. Look, I took the contract and I know you were hesitant to help me outright so I thought…”

“Stop!” Steve shouted. The whole thing was giving him a throbbing headache. “Just…stop talking and take me home.”

 “Are you sure it’s safe for you to go home right now?”

She had a point. 

He wasn’t sure why that hadn’t occurred to him yet. He felt tired and a little foggy. It was probably the fading adrenaline. Oh well, whatever he decided to do would be none of her business after the stunt she’d just pulled. 

“Just drive.” He said, turning to look out the window. They made the rest of the long drive in complete silence.

He slammed the passenger door of Nancy’s rent-a-car and stood in his front yard watching until she had driven out of sight. He knew he should get inside and pack and bag. Call Robin or Wayne to pick him up. He could easily stay with one of them for a few days until he figured out what to do. He was so tired though. He stumbled his way over to his front porch steps and sat down. He’d just rest for a minute, catch his breath, then he’d go inside and take care of things. 

Distantly he heard the door to the house open behind him, and felt footsteps as someone walked across the porch. He tensed, not sure he was up to fighting anyone else off right now 

“Steve?” 

It was Robin. Relief flooded through him and he wanted so badly to turn and look at her, but his body wouldn’t cooperate and his head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. He tried to say her name but something caught in his throat and he began to cough uncontrollably. Something hot and sticky dribbled down his chin. 

Robin came bounding around the side of him so she could see his face. She gasped and fell to her knees next to him. His vision blurred and he saw only red as she took his head in her hands. She was screaming his name and he wanted to respond to her, he really did but he was so tired. He couldn’t even sit up anymore. He slid sideways and landed in her lap. He closed his eyes and realized how quiet it had gotten. He couldn’t hear Robin anymore, just the rush of blood in his ears until he drifted away, and then that was gone too.

Steve woke up and had no idea where he was. It was becoming the theme of his life at this point and one he was desperate to stop. He was lying on his back in an unfamiliar king sized bed made up with black silk sheets and far too many pillows. 

He stared at the ceiling and tried to think. What was the last thing he remembered? He wasn’t sure, but something about the ceiling and what he could see of the walls was familiar. He shook the feeling off and tried to concentrate. He remembered the doorbell ringing, and Jane standing on his doorstep. It all came rushing back, the cellar, Angela, Nancy, her dropping him off at home. Robin. 

“Robin.” He tried to sit up, gasping her name. 

Suddenly someone was at his side, supporting his back and stroking his hair. 

“Hey, hey, hush. Take it easy, sweetheart. Robin’s just fine, she’s in the other room resting, it’s been a long night.”

Steve looked up and met Eddie’s deep brown eyes with his own. He looked nervous, scared even. He ran the vampire's words over again in his head. A long night? The last Steve knew was the middle of the day. What the hell happened?

He pushed away from the other man and tried to sit up on his own, happy to find that he could. In fact, the longer he was awake the better he felt, which he had a feeling should not have been the case.

Eddie scooted away from him too, widening the distance between them. Steve was pretty sure that was a first. 

He cleared his throat and wrapped his arms around himself to keep them from shaking. 

“Why am I here, Eddie?”

“Robin brought you to me.”

Steve didn’t like the way he said her name like it was common to his tongue, like he knew her. He’d managed to shield Robin from this part of his life for so long, and now here she was in the thick of it. She knew of Eddie of course but Steve had never intended for them to meet. It was enough that he let her around Dustin. He was safe, but Eddie…

“Don’t look at me like that, Steve.”

“Like what?”

“As if I'd hurt her.”

Steve ignored the pain in the vampire’s voice and asked the next logical question.

“Why would she bring me…” He trailed off looking again at the familiar fixtures on the walls. He had been here before, but the room had looked a lot different then. Billy’s coffin room. Now it looked more like a very large master bedroom. There was even a bathroom built into one corner of the room now. ”Here?”

Eddie hesitated, eyes guarded. “You were dying, Steve. Do you not remember?”

He did then, it was all coming back to him in snippets. Sitting down on the front step because he’d gotten tired, coughing and watching blood droplets splatter the white concrete, Robin looking horrified as he collapsed into her, red seeping into his eyes as he passed out. 

“I remember.” He muttered. He'd been so sure he was a goner but it had all happened so fast he hadn’t even had time to be afraid. Fear gripped him now though as he realized what may have been done to save his life. 

“Eddie. How is it that I'm sitting here, now, alive?”

The vampire heaved a great sigh. Steve felt a prickling of pain in his wrist. He looked down and found it wrapped in gauze. He already knew the answer but he needed Eddie to say it. 

To admit to what he’d done. 

Again.

“I think you already know.” Eddie admitted, weakly.

“Say it.”

“The third mark.”

Steve shook his head, he almost couldn’t believe it though the evidence was right in front of him. “You bit me. You fucking fed from me.”

“I had to.” 

“You son of a bitch.”

“I saved your life.”

“You drank my blood while I was unconscious.”

“Yes. I did. And I'd do it again.”

Steve sucked in a breath ready to tear into Eddie for what he'd done, but then the door sprang open and Robin came tumbling into the room. She jumped right up onto the bed and threw her arms around him.  

“Oh my god, Steve! You’re alright! I really thought this was it, that I'd never see you again!” He hugged her back and settled for glaring at Eddie over her shoulder for now. 

Robin sobbed into his chest as she began to ramble. “I’m sorry Steve, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what had happened to you, and I was going to take you to the hospital but I thought, what if they got it wrong, what if it wasn’t a medical thing at all. I didn’t know what to do but I knew Eddie had saved you before so I thought… I'm sorry, Steve, I was just so scared and I didn't want to lose you.” She sniffled and her body shook as she ran out of words. Steve rocked them back and forth as he rubbed her back. 

He wasn’t happy that she’d brought him here but he couldn't be mad at her when he was the one who almost died in her lap.

“It’s okay, Rob, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you.” He pulled back, smiling at her as he wiped the tears from her face. “Can you wait for me outside? I need to talk to Eddie alone. I’ll only be a few minutes.”

Robin glanced nervously from him, to the vampire, and back again, looking like she wanted to say something but ultimately held her tongue. She nodded and left in a hurry, though he was sure she wouldn’t go too far. 

Steve rounded on Eddie the second the door closed. “I can’t blame her for bringing me here, I know she couldn't stand to see me like that and would do anything to save me, but you KNEW how I felt about this! You knew I would have refused if I could have and still, you did it anyway!” He was shouting at the top of his lungs by the end of his speech, chest heaving. 

Eddie remained calm in the face of his anger. It was infuriating.

“Is it not possible, Steve, for you to believe that maybe I also couldn’t stand to see you like that? That I couldn't stand the thought of losing you either?” The vampire said softly.

“Fuck you.” Steve spat. “Don't try to turn this into something it’s not. You want me because of what I can do for you, the power I can give you. You never gave a shit about me, if you did you would have respected my wishes.” 

“Let you die, you mean? Steve, please listen to me, I..”

“No! Shut up, I don't want to hear any more. Just tell me what this means, what new fun surprises I have to look forward to and then I'm leaving.”

Eddie laid back against the sheets staring up at the ceiling as he answered. “More of the same. We’ll be able to speak to each other seamlessly mind-to-mind now when we’re close if we choose, and we’ll be able to share minds and bodies as we did with the snake with a greater ease as well. You are very hard to kill now. No poison, venom, or illness can touch you. You’ll still age, but much slower. You’ll be able to keep me out much more easily too, if you wish.” 

“Well thank god for small blessings.” Steve hopped off the bed and walked straight for the door without looking back. He felt great, better than he had in days, physically at least. 

“Wait,” Eddie said as he zipped to his side and tried to grab his arm.

Steve side-stepped him easily, moving quicker than he ever had in his life as he felt Eddie's presence move towards him as if in slow motion.

He opened the door and only then turned around to face the vampire one last time.

“Stay the fuck away from me, Eddie. I mean it.”

The ride home in Robin’s car was tense. He wasn’t mad at her, exactly, but he was mad, and she knew it. He was stoic as he told her about Jane and Angela. He then also had to tell her about his meeting with Henry Creel because her first question had been, who the fuck is Jane? 

She didn’t say anything throughout, just listened, and when she did finally speak it wan’t about anything he had just told her. 

“Steve, I know you're mad at Eddie, and that you hate him for what he did, what he’s done, but I think you should give him a break.”

“Rob, don’t.” He said, a note of warning in his voice. 

“I think he’s in love with you.”

“Bullshit!” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She was his friend! She was supposed to be on his side!

"Steve, you didn’t see what I saw. The way he looked at you, how scared he was.”

“He drank my blood, Robin. That’s not my idea of love.”

“No, but maybe it is his.”

“I’m done talking about this. I hate him, I’ll never forgive him for this. I told him no, in no uncertain terms. He betrayed the small amount of trust that lived between us. I’m done.”

They pulled up to his house and Steve got out of the car quickly. Robin made like she would follow but he put his hand out to stop her, speaking through the open door.

“Listen, I said I wasn’t mad at you, and I meant that. I love you, but I need a little time to wallow, okay? I promise I won’t stay here. I'll call Wayne to come pick me up. I can stay with him for a few days at least. We have work later tonight anyway, and…”

“Work?! Steve, you can’t be serious! I’m sure your Dad is pissed you missed last night but-”

“This isn’t about him, Robin, not this time. I need something that’s mine, just mine. Something that is the same now as it was before Eddie.”

“Okay, I guess I can understand that. Be careful, and at least text me every few days so I know you're still alive.” She said. 

He shook his head at her and smiled despite himself. He leaned back into the car and smacked a kiss on her forehead. “I will text you every day, every hour if it makes you feel better.”

She snorted. “You know, it actually would, but I won't hold you to that. I love you, Dingus”

“I love you too, Robs.”

Steve’s stomach was in knots.

He’d been so sure he was doing the right thing when he made the call, but now, sitting in the truck next to Wayne on their way to the office he was filled with dread. A sinking feeling deep in his gut.

He felt sick.

He felt guilty, and he was pissed off because it was bullshit. Eddie had betrayed him first, and the more he’d thought about it the angrier he’d become until finally, he’d decided. 

He’d decided this was his best chance at getting his life back. At getting back to normal. 

Henry could do it. He was more than strong enough to get rid of Eddie, and Angela, and then Steve could put this whole thing behind him. He worried for Dustin, but Owens and Henry both assured him that they would keep an eye on the kid and that none of the other vampires would be hurt, even those who might stand against them in Eddie’s defense. 

Not that it would come to that, anyway. Steve had truly given Eddie up. He’d told them his daytime resting place and described the underground of the theater in stark detail,  even going so far as to tell them about the route through the sewer though it was likely closed off now.

He’d told them about the new vampires, and how Eddie could now call werewolves to his aid. He told them anything and everything he could think of to make it as easy as possible, including the fact that he now bore Eddie’s third mark, unsure of how much new power that had granted the vampire.

Henry had expressed concern at the news. “Mr. Harrington, I would be remiss if I didn't tell you. With the third mark…you do realize you may die with him, don’t you? Are you sure you wish to go through with this?”

“I’m sure.” He’d said quickly. He was just grateful that this was all they wanted from him, for now. He'd given Eddie up, but that didn’t mean he wanted to watch. 

Reluctantly, he’d also told them about Jane and her alliance with Angela, and hoped Henry would be merciful.

Wayne seemed to know he was struggling with something, and remained quiet as Steve’s thoughts continued to swirl. 

Doubts were suddenly creeping in, and he wondered why something as powerful as the oldest living vampire had needed his help for this. Surely he could have taken Eddie from one of his businesses, they were public enough. Though, Henry had seemed to have a great respect for human life, so perhaps he was waiting until dawn to limit the number of innocent bystanders. 

In addition to all the information Steve had shared, Henry also asked Steve to support him and his platform once he rose to power. He figured he was in it now, for better or for worse, and there was nothing he could do but agree. 

Steve’s phone began to ring loudly, pulling him from his thoughts. It was a blocked number and he almost didn’t answer it but in the end his curiosity, and Wayne’s glare at the noisy piece of technology, won out.

“Hello?”

“Necromancer?”

“Jane? What…”

“I’m sorry to call you like this.” She interrupted, speaking quickly before he could ask what she wanted. “I’m sorry about everything, Steve. You have no reason to trust me but I need you to listen to me now. It seems we have both made terrible mistakes and put out faith in the wrong people. I’m calling to see if you would be willing to help me fix the mess we’ve made?”

Steve sucked in a harsh breath as his heart sank. “What do you mean?”

“I overheard Henry and Owens talking. I know you gave your master up to them, and that you told them what I did.”

“Jane, I…”

“It’s okay, Steve. It’s not the first time I've been caught...misbehaving. I’ve been punished and managed to convince Henry that I'm remorseful. There’s more.” She paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “Henry and Angela are working together. They always have been. I didn’t know. I swear I didn't know. I thought Angela was my friend. I don’t know what has happened between you and your Eddie to make you hate him so, but you have to warn him. We have to find a way to stop this or a lot of innocent people are going to die.”

“What do you mean, what’s going to happen?

“He’s going to sneak in tomorrow morning to kill Eddie and take control of the city, which you already know. What he didn’t tell you is that when the sun sets he’s going to force every vampire in the city to attack humans, with orders for maximum bloodshed.”

Oh God.

How could he have gotten it so wrong?

“Tomorrow?” Steve gulped. “But that’s Halloween. The streets will be full of families, kids.”

“I think that’s the point.” She said softly.

Fuck.

“What do we do? What can we do?”

“Warn Eddie, move him, try and come up with a plan. Do whatever you can and I will do the same from this end of things.  Henry thinks I'm on his side again for now which may give us the upper hand.” 

“What about your sister?” Steve asked.

“I can’t condemn so many others to death to save the life of one.” 

“My offer still stands Jane, if we survive this, I will help you get your sister back if I can.”

“I’m sorry I didn't trust you before, Necromancer.”

Steve’s breath caught in his throat. He knew exactly how she felt. “It’s okay, it can be hard to know who to trust sometimes. If anyone can understand that, I do. How do I reach you once I'm with Eddie?”

“I’ll find you when I can. Good luck.” She hung up before he could say the same.

Steve threw the phone to the floor and slammed his fist into the dashboard with a curse, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. 

“What is it, son?” Wayne asked, his own face pinched with worry. 

Steve dropped his head into his hands. “I fucked up, Wayne. I fucked up so bad and now people are going to die and it’s all my fault.”

Chapter 16

Thank you @penny00dreadful 😘

[chemicalbrew]

tagged

by @radellama thanks bestie!!!

1. why did you choose your url?

multiple reasons:

I chose chemicalbrew as my go-to handle everywhere important, because the handle I picked for this purpose as a teen is cringe

I like having canon URLs; especially if they are kind of hard-to-get and\or subtle references, which this one is perfect for, IMO. The last time I felt good about a handle in this sense was when I went by theplanetbuster

I like katzero :) a normal amount :) and I always will I think :)

Chemical Brew is just a good track and I love being reminded of its existence every time I log on anywhere.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

I'm too lazy to upkeep them, so I compensate with my tagging system... Well, there is actually one where I wanted to put my writing if I ever did any, but in the end all writing I do is roleplay stuff on discord that's not meant to be shared widely HELP. And what I do end up getting out once in a blue moon, I just put on AO3...

I used to hoard a whole lot of URLs, but I got scared of getting terminated for a second time, so aside from the almost empty writing blog I mentioned earlier, I just hoard five that I'd hate to see anyone else have (some of these I used to go by, too)

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

Almost ten years; I haven't remade once, so you can see this just by going to the archive (don't do that, actually)

4. do you have a queue tag?

I do, and it's a Transistor reference :) I can count on my hands the amount of times I've queued stuff, though.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Found this place while looking for Zelda fanart; thought it would be easier to use the dashboard instead of checking individual pages. At least I think that was the biggest reason. IDR

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Zero I like him :) At this point it feels wrong if I don't have him as my pfp on here and\or discord so... here he is!!! (since I'm still Four on discord) Not to mention that I kinda need him here to match the rest of my stuff.

I put the NB flag border for Pride month this year for fun and I'm too lazy to put the old version back (also, once again, I like weird subtle shit like that.).

7. why did you choose your header?

I always choose my headers with purpose, though it's not quite the case here: this is a holdover from when I was cherrymegablaster, and it's meant to directly complement that URL in a way that's obvious if you played the game. LOL

I kept it because it's funny to call a drink a chemical brew (and because there's not enough DLC footage for me to make a nice gif with. There's a few stills I really like, but I prefer my headers animated!) ...and because I'm just really happy with the gif.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

I can't be assed to use the site that scans for this stuff and I'm not proud of my ancient random shit that blew up a bit anyway. So... I'll just tell you this gifset I made on a whim is the one with the most notes.

I REALLY hope the rainbow katzero set outpaces it one day because it's also continuously showing up in my activity and it's easily the one I put the most work into. I need to get off my ass and make more gifs!!!

9. how many mutuals do you have?

...does anyone keep count of that? just the right amount to keep me happy :3

10-11. how many followers do you have? how many people do you follow?

343 \ 1414. why are these such nice numbers

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Yes, but I don't post them, I just send them to my friends on discord. I'd say hatewar but it's on fire alone counts as a collaborative shitpost of the highest tier, but barely anyone knows what I mean and I love it.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Ehhh, it depends... I know I check my activity mostly every morning just in case, and I check the dod3 and katzero tags once or twice a week, but it's not a strict schedule thing, I forget sometimes :] The tags are slow anyway, and I have sooo many active katzero posters blocked that it's even slower for me :p

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

I don't think so..? Definitely not in public, I've had arguments with friends I made here, but it's a different thing. I think everyone on my dash is largely chill and has moved on past the disk horse or whatever the fuck

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

DO PEOPLE STILL MAKE THESE...

16. do you like tag games?

That and 'reblog and put your opinion on X \ what you did today' is always really fun, I <3 being annoying about minor details in my boring life (also I'm literally doing one rn, aren't I)

17. do you like ask games?

Yes, but I never get any asks, so I don't reblog them too often. :]

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

@/ositia, they're a very good artist and I miss seeing them around

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

I have only had two crushes in my life, and one of them was on a former mutual I've drifted apart from. I know he won't be reading this cause he blocked me, but I still think about him and I hope he's moved to a nice enough place, at least :")

20. tags

uuugh just do this if you want to

[mysteriesofmarcy]

Genuine question. Please explain to me, why is being queer a sin? Neither consensual homosexuality nor transgenderism hurts anyone. It does no harm and there are a lot of peer reviewed scientific studies (which I cannot currently link because of media links being turned off but I would be happy to find for you if you are interested) that show queer people who are accepted by themselves and their community tend to live longer and happier lives than people who are not accepted. I am admittedly not christian (although some of my family is) so I don't have the best grasp on religion as a whole and I'm genuinely curious to hear your perspective. Why is something that only seems to benefit humanity as a whole considered a bad thing?

NOTE: I'm going to jump around a bit here, so bear with me.

First, yeah, you don't have to prove that people who are accepted by themselves and their communities tend to live much longer and happier lives than people who aren't. That's true of anyone, regardless of who they are or what they believe.

But contrary to popular belief, you are not "born gay/lbt-whatever else". Nobody is. Why? That's not how God designed us.

Here is a little background information on that last point:

God designed marriage to be a union between one man and one woman for as long as both of them are alive. The relationship between a husband and a wife is meant to be a mirror of God's own relationship with the church: God protects His church, just like a husband protects his wife. God gave His life for us, just like a husband is supposed to give his life for His wife if the need arises. And God went to prepare a home for us, just like in ancient times a man would go prior to his marriage to prepare a home for his bride.

But you asked specifically why being queer is a sin. Although homosexuality is mentioned numerous times in the Bible, including

Romans 1:18-32

Leviticus 18:22

Genesis 18:20-19:24

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

1 Timothy 1:9-11

Galatians 5:19-21

Revelation 21:8

Revelation 22:14-16

Matthew 15:19

Mark 7:21

And many more,

The reason that it's a sin is more the fact that it is intellectually dishonest to consider yourself as such. Because like I said, God created humans to be male and female, and to mate one man to one woman. That is what's in our nature.

You may note that some verses only refer to "sexual immorality." In this case, the context of the other verses tells us that this term includes any sexual relations outside those of "one man and one woman married to each other for life."

P.S. in case you don't feel like looking up all those verses above, I've linked this handy explanation for you.

And, I will add that I'm not an expert by any means. This is just a simplistic version of my views.

[sylvarantii]

There's a certain passion to this one.

Detective Conan Movie 16: The Eleventh Striker feels like it explores more of the side of Shinichi that really loves soccer. And this isn't to say that the series and other movies don't already show this considering one of the very devices he uses is a belt that produces a soccer ball when he needs it.

But there's just such a clear love for the sport to this movie and there's something so sweet about seeing Shinichi/Conan getting to actually just have fun with some pros. It's nice to see him just get to enjoy a moment of being a kid instead of constantly having to run on that "I'm the only competent person on this case that can fully solve it" mode.

Strangely, I do also enjoy how even though it was a movie, it still felt like your regular sort of case. Yeah, the stakes were still raised for a movie, but it just felt very much like the sort of narrative we can come to expect from the series.

I will say, with a lot of Detective Conan movies, the last half hour or so is indeed good and it's one of the best parts because there's this sort of sweet comradery between the children. I loved the passing the ball to Conan scene. It's sort of a small thing, I suppose, but it has that deep love and support of your friends to help the protagonist reach their goal scene that just makes me really love the shonen genre. It's cliche, but it's a cliche I love.

Speaking of cliches, the main culprit of this movie is a sympathetic antagonist and I admit, I liked learning his background. It's so heart breaking and sweet even if they're completely in the wrong for what they're doing.

So where shall I place this movie?

1.) The Raven Chaser (13th Movie)

2.) The Fourteenth Target (2nd Movie)

3.) The Lost Ship in the Sky (14th Movie)

4.) The Time Bombed Skyscraper (1st Movie)

5.) Magician of the Silver Sky (8th Movie)

6.) Captured in Her Eyes (4th Movie)

7.) Crossroad in the Ancient Capital (7th Movie)

8.) Quarter of Silence (15th Movie)

9.) The Phantom of Baker Street (6th Movie)

10.) Countdown to Heaven (5th Movie)

11.) Strategy Above the Depths (9th Movie)

12.) The Private Eyes' Requiem (10th Movie)

13.) Full Score of Fear (12th Movie)

14.) The Eleventh Striker (16th Movie)

15.) The Wizard of the Last Century (3rd Movie)

16.) Jolly Roger in the Deep Azure (11th Movie)

Hard decision. Didn't really want to place it too low, but as I might have mentioned with a lot of these, it's just a matter of what I remember enjoying more.

I think if I had to sum it up, it's a good casual watch to just enjoy in your downtime. Nothing particularly plot heavy, but just something to spend some time relaxing and watching.

[eek-a-tron]

10 Reasons to Ship Loki/Catwoman

A Nondefinitive & Cracky GodCat Rundown

1. He’s a god of thieves. Loki’s a Norse god with a long ancient list of patronage areas: mischief, tricks, lies, chaos, outcasts, the devil, death, and more … including, sometimes, thieves. THIEVES. It’s not mentioned often, but it’s around. Besides, mischief, chaos, and trickery tend to involve crime. Be Loki. Wear helmets. Do crimes. And consider hanging out with an anti-hero who still kinda gets it, because:

2. She’s a master cat burglar. Catwoman’s one of the most-recognizable cat burglars on Earth/Midgard, so that's kismet on the thieves thing. But she also vibes with the mischief thing, and sometimes with lies and tricks, too. Even with the outcasts thing. Definitely the anti-heroes thing. Plus, neither Selina nor Loki is an expert on trust, or family, or How to Feelings™ — and there’s nothing shippier than mutual angst!

3. Oops! All banter. Loki and Catwoman can banter for days. Weeks. Years. Loki plays with everybody, but not many characters really mischief him back. Catwoman would, though; it’s like, her thing. She’s sassy (*cue rando yelling from offscreen* feisty, eh?!), full of nicknames, and although she can’t exactly kick a god’s ass twelve days from Sunday, Loki might ask her to try anyway. (The old Batman rule applies there: did Catwoman have time to plan ahead, or have the element of surprise?! Heists require planning and improv, after all.) As such:

4. MatuRe CoNteNt. These two might never leave the bedroom to steal anything, possibly because of the aforementioned ass-kicking. If anybody can make Loki kneel and say thank you ma’am may I have another, probably while he’s laughing about it alllllllmost the entire time, it’s Catwoman. (Strangely wholesome mature content, right front of my anti-hero sandwich?! I ain’t mad at it.)

Loki's ye-olde-eyebrow gif from abby118!

5. Just two pros being pros. Erm, how do I put this delicately? Loki and Catwoman are, generally-speaking, both highly-sexualized, often-objectified characters. (More so for Catwoman in a way, sigh, but … that’s a whole ‘nuther topic.) Give ‘em a break, y’all: let the oversexualized bunnies get it on together! They’re both adults. They’ve both been around (comics) forever. And look, maybe a woman shouldn’t have to constantly chase a bat who doesn’t want to be caught — and vice-versa, frankly! Cats have needs, okay? Maybe magical, complicated, industry-crossing needs! (Did Loki write this one himself?! I wouldn’t put it past him.)

6. The nine lives thing. A word about the god/mortal power imbalance here: yeah, I don’t love that. But aside from Loki just sorta letting Catwoman hang around because they amuse each other, or because there are plenty of uh, other aforementioned reasons to level their playing-field *snort*, there are also plenty of Catwoman canons floating around in which she’s not entirely mortal. Sometimes she has nine lives, which puts her in the venn diagram hinterlands of magical comic characters with an extended lifespan. Interesting! (This concept was even brought back recently, comics-wise.)

7. Representation? (This one’s thorny because it’s never treated well in canon. The world is poorly-formed. :/ I hope we can form it better.) Loki and Catwoman may also vibe, perhaps, because they both have a canonic bi history. (I mean … Loki is canonically everything so it depends on the canon one’s talking about, but nevertheless.) I’m not really the appropriate person to bring Bi!GodCat content into the world, but it does make sense! Love them however they identify!

8. The Wonder connection. But what about Batman, you ask? What about his dark little heartstrings, you inquire? Well, hear me out here: if Loki/Catwoman, then maybe … Batman/Wonder Woman? (Why yes, I do like things about BatCat, and WonderBat, and GodCat! There are infinite ships in my ancient harbor, mes amis; I’m quite unbothered by multiple ship options. My skin is clear. My crops are watered and rotated.)

9. Knife mates. Both of these anti-hero tricksters are stabby. (Meaning: they sometimes favor the short blades.) Together, they make a dagger duo. Stib-stabs. Pointy sharpersons. WOMEN MADE OF KNIVES/MEN ALSO MADE OF KNIVES.

Loki stab-gif from youlackconviction!

10. Multiple AU fix-it options. When canon inevitably disappoints, one can always go to the headcanon mountain. Catwoman steals Loki from a prisondungeon. Catwoman steals Loki from the TVA. Catwoman keeps Loki alive and he feels acidically/obnoxiously grateful about it, plus other things. Loki vibes with Selina's trust issues and (complainingly) assists her heists with magic; maybe they even grow to be friends, or learn what love is like is between two similar souls. Perhaps their team-up helps get other Marvel/DC types out of a few high-powered jams. (Or else they just steal from them, heh; the options are many.) *steeples fingers* And so disappointment was solved forever, by expecting nothing from official channels. And also AUs.

[matbaynton]

tagged by @baynton thank you!! 💙

8 shows to get to know me better

1. BBC GHOSTS

copying nat here to say that this is also where the mat obsession started 😈 my friend hallie (who i will also be tagging to do this obviously) got me into it and i cannot thank them enough for giving me the brainrot! i've watched this show.... idk how many times now i'm constantly rewatching it but i still laugh (and/or cry) every time. don't think i needed to know how absolutely FERAL and UNHINGED and RABID i was capable of being, i swear i was normal before i saw thomas thorne. i WAS, and no one can disprove that so just believe me 🤡 he is my sopping wet babygirl pathetic chewtoy and i love him.... so much..... and i want to d*e on the button house property and become a ghost more than anything in the whole world. anyway this show is fantastic and it changed my life and there isn't a single bad main character!

2. STRANGER THINGS

not sure if it's because i watched this show the year it came out (and on the night before/night of my 18th birthday, so it ended up being the best birthday i've had in years which is. still true lmao) but it continues to hold such a special place in my heart, and i can't truly explain why. gonna be honest seeing that winona ryder was in it immediately made me want to watch (and i love joyce byers + jopper a normal amount) i'm also really into horror and gross shit and this show really delivers on that sometimes, it's fantastic 🫡

3. THE OWL HOUSE

i don't think i can talk about this show for too long without crying lmao, but for a silly starter: THERE IS SO MUCH GOD DAMN FUCKING PURPLE IN THIS SHOW IT IS VERY PLEASING TO MY EYEBALLS!!!!! i'm a huge blubbering baby when it comes to the found family trope and this show has that! not to mention the incredible lgbt+ rep that truly shocked me to my core. i've also never related to a fictional character more than luz noceda, it's almost unsettling. still haven't watched the finale because i'm in denial about it being over and fuck disney channel for cancelling it.

4. DOCTOR WHO

besides glee and pretty little liars (that i'm surprisingly not putting on this list for reasons) this was one of the first real tv shows i've gotten into. my friend and i stumbled upon it on netflix (back in the ancient times of the early 2010's) she wasn't into it AT ALL but when i went home i immediately started watching the rest of it. i love all of the doctors/companions/eras in so many different ways, and every time i rewatch this show it feels like home <3

5. YONDERLAND

99% of the characters in this show are complete dumbasses and i'm truly here for it,. also seeing mat as so many different freaky sexy characters fixed me made me worse. HOWEVER.... the felt puppets still strike fear into my heart, i've gotten somewhat used to it but i still want to scream and poop my pants whenever i see them.

6. COMMUNITY

as we've established i'm a fan of the found family trope (even the FUCKED UP PROBABLY MENTALLY BAD FOR EACH OTHER kind of found family) besides how funny this show is (and how much i love troy and abed AND WANT WHAT THEY HAVE MORE THAN ANYTHING) it was also the first time i interpreted autism portrayed in a somewhat better way than i had ever seen before on television (of course abed being autistic isn't technically canon, hence "interpreted") but i really appreciated it and the fact that he IS canonically the most mentally stable in the group is incredible and i love it. will NEVER forgive them for making a felt puppet episode though, it haunts my nightmares.

7. SANTA CLARITA DIET

drew barrymore plays a zombie milf and timothy olyphant plays her hot husband who helps her kill shitty people to eat. wtf else do i need to say? it's a masterpiece and i wake up every day hating netflix for cancelling it

8. TOO MANY SPIRITS

YEAH THIS IS A SHOW! I'M COUNTING IT AS A SHOW! i knew i was going to put at least one watcher show on this list because i love these idiots so dearly. i chose too many spirits because the amount of times i've almost (😐) pissed myself from laughter watching these morons get drunk and tell stupid stories is TOO MANY..... spirits! like the name of the show! too many! too many times 🤡 anyway

tagging (no pressure to do it!) @larryrickard @reysorigins @softdavidrose @karura @captainsjack @jugheadscrowns @bejeweledantihero @hannamarins

[gaast]

Since October 2022, I've been playing only one game at a time. That might not sound like much but for something that struggles to keep its number of concurrent games even at two, it's a pretty big deal. I did it because I wanted to commit to games, and to commit to finishing them. And for the most part, I've been successful.

As part of this, I've been tracking the games I've played and want to play, and I've been marking down the days I started something (usually) and the days I've finished them.

Now that this much time has passed, I've got a year's worth of games down, and I wanna do little write-ups for everything I played in 2023.

That means that anything I played in late 2022 (Silent Hill 2, Xenosaga Episode 1, Observation, and Red Dead Redemption, among others) can only get mentioned honorably here. But I'm gonna go through everything I started in 2023, beginning with:

Outer Wilds, January 1-January 7

What a way to start the year. Outer Wilds is unique and charming. It's really fun to fly through space in the awfulest space ship ever with the worst autopilot (have fun in the sun!) and check destroyed, abandoned planets, read ancient peoples' logs of their attempts to save the universe, and to be there at the end of everything.

Unfortunately: the fucking angler fish. I hate those fucks so bad that I actually didn't finish the game. I never brought X to Y (no spoilers) because I hate dealing with those guys. So I can't class this a perfect game. Those dudes need some changes.

Still, highly recommended.

The Sims 4, January 6-the ride never ends

I'm not gonna lie. This is just a sex thing for me.

Even still, I don't quite get why people hate it so much. I played the third game, too. This one's fine. This franchise isn't amazing. It's weird and held together by Scotch tape. I like that about it.

What a weird world.

Anyway, this must be around the time my ISP sent me emails telling me to stop pirating shit or they'd kick me off their plan, which would be bad because that ISP is the only one we can get in our building! Imagine being unable to work because you wanted TS4 DLC.

Bioshock, January 14-January 28, canceled

I couldn't do it.

This was my second attempt at getting through this game and I had to just admit that it's not for me. I didn't enjoy it. It was a chore. I decided to just set it aside.

Wish I hadn't paid for a PS4 copy when I already had a Steam copy. Ah well.

The Liar Princess and the Blind Prince, January 31-February 2

A very aesthetically-pleasing puzzleish platformer with a cute story and good music. I enjoyed my time with this simple little game.

Half-Life, February 3-February 5

You starting to see a pattern where I only manage to finish games, like, late at night, so I can't start a new one until later? Anyway.

This was my second attempt to get through this game. I did it this time, and I regret it. I didn't have fun.

I don't really know why I didn't have fun, I just didn't. Maybe the combat was too tedious. Maybe the jumping was too iffy. Maybe it just went on for too long. Maybe it's a case of "Seinfeld Is Unfunny." I don't know. I just know I don't like Half-Life.

So maybe I don't like the game, but I love the Headcrab Fucker 9000.

Poison Control, February 8-February 11

Sometimes you just wanna play a mid game.

Look, I like poison. I love pink. I love androgynous characters in suits. I like NIS. This game had it all. And it was perfectly. It made me want to stop playing a little while before it was over. It had a really good OST. I got the platinum trophy and I didn't feel satisfied.

I liked it. And sometimes that's enough.

This is the first on a small series of mid NIS-related games. I'll have more to say when I hit the other.

Grasping, February 15

Obviously I couldn't play this as intended, but it's not hard to imagine having shoved your hand into an awful box.

Anyway, this was good, I think. I don't really remember it.

The House in the Woods, February 15

Another horror game I absolutely do not recall playing.

Apocryphauna, February 15

I remember this one! It's good! I liked it! I wish there were more to it--like, a lot more. A lot lot more.

Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin, February 25-March 21

I held off on playing this for a long time because I had always heard it was "made by the B team" and "not as good as the other games." But I decided to play it. It was the gaping hole in my From résumé.

It's not as good. It has a ton of bosses and none of them are memorable except for a select few DLC bosses (Fume Knight, Sir Alonne, Sinh). It makes a lot of weird gameplay choices. It takes way too long for Estus sippies to heal you--like, in terms of the health bar going up. The Iron Keep is infuriating. So many of the runups are abominable. It runs with the clunkiness of Demon's Souls and Dark Souls despite having the svelte ambitions of Bloodborne and Dark Souls III. It has way too many sections where it just says, "okay, deal with a ton of enemies now."

And I loved it.

Honestly, this is probably my favorite of the three Dark Souls games. I think it is by far the most aesthetically complete game of the trilogy. It fulfills its own promise, you know? And I disagree with the people who call it bleak. I think it's the only game of the trilogy that actually offers hope. A real hope, too. One that says that, just because our struggle may not take us anywhere, at least our struggle itself is beautiful.

In a strange way, I think that Dark Souls II is the only Souls game that actually understands the Souls series.

"A lie will remain a lie."

Pokémon Violet, March 21-March 25

I didn't want to play this game. I didn't want to like it. I just wanted to play it. I love Pokémon. Sure, this wasn't a Pokémon game (according to me), but I wanted to play it anyway. The morning I finally decided to go for it, I had read that the professors were antagonists all along. How stupid!

And the reaction. Oh boy. All the glitches. All the performance issues. All the memes. What trash, right? Right?

I fell in love. I didn't think anything could unseat Gen 7 in terms of my love for a Pokémon generation, but honestly, this game might do it.

Did it need more time to cook? Absolutely. I'm not gonna sit here and say it should have been released as it was. No; it is in many ways a disaster, and it is certainly unacceptable.

But every inch of it oozes with love.

This game wasn't just shit out to make a buck. It feels that way at first, but no, everyone who had a hand in making the Gen 9 games absolutely loved what they were doing. You can feel it--from the sound design to the music to the character design to, fuck, everything. They did the best they could with what they had and they made one of the most charming, wonderful games I've had the pleasure of playing in far too long.

There is so much heart here. It convinced me that the future of Pokémon is still bright. Very much so.

Just... let's take a couple extra years to make the next one, all right?

Heroine Conquest, sometime in April

Look. It's actually pretty good.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, March 31-April 18

I'll get this out of the way: I didn't really have fun.

The game has aged surprisingly well. Or Skyrim is just a truly unmotivated sequel. Either way, it holds up.

The problem is that I just don't think that TES games are for me. They're just so fucking boring. And I never end up liking literally any character in them.

I have fun actually playing for a while, but the general guideline with Oblivion is "don't level up." Fun! Either way, it's just rote after a while. Nothing really feels satisfying, and you're always worried something is going to break.

Frankly, the main story quest isn't compelling, either. With hindsight, knowing it'll lead to the rise of the Dominion again, it's like, well, shit.

Anyway, I played it. And it's certainly a game that you can play. If you wanna.

FEWAR-DVD, April 23

I called it "an arcade game" in my notes and that's basically what it is. Doesn't mean it isn't fun.

(Have you noticed I'm not reviewing games yet? It's write-ups; I'm giving my thoughts and impressions. Also, it's been a while, so I don't super remember a bunch of these. Oh well!)

Bleak Sword DX (Demo), April 23

I think I liked this? Apparently it's out. I should review it and see if I wanna get it at some point.

It looks pretty cool.

The Signal State (Demo), April 23

I liked this a lot because it's so unique and it taps into a specific type of autistic urge for me but god is its price tag just too high for what I suspect that it is.

Deltarune (Chapters 1 and 2), April 22-April 23

This was a replay of Chapter 1 and a first play of Chapter 2.

I think when I first played Chapter 1 I felt... you know, I didn't want Undertale, or a sequel to Undertale, but a secret third thing. And when I first played it in... late 2019? It wasn't whatever that secret third thing was. I liked it, don't get me wrong. But I think I didn't... get it?

Not to say I wasn't excited for me. It just took me a while to convince myself to finally get to Chapter 2 and to meet the funny spambot man.

Anyway, I won't bother spending too much time on Deltarune. I'll just say that in this play, I realized that Deltarune is that secret third thing, and that I think it's better than Undertale.

I'm scared.

Pizza Tower, April 14-April 23

I think I'm guilty of wanting this game to be something it isn't.

I wanted WarioLand, and it's like that, but it isn't precisely that. It isn't trying to be precisely that. It's trying to be Pizza Tower.

I like the game, but not as much as I thought I would. Not as much as I think I should.

I'll probably reply this game in a year or two and it'll click and I'll love it the way I was always meant to love it. But for now, I'll just let the "Tombstone Arizona" guitar impregnate me.

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim, April 19-May 27

...It took me that long? Really? Huh.

Anyway, I love this game. I love love love it. I love the characters and the art style and the way they tell the story and the story itself and the gameplay (holy shit the gameplay!) and just. Man. I wish more games were just like this. Weird, experimental, talky, confident, cool, and unique.

This is the type of game that inspires you to write your own sci-fi. Or to write about its world. To think and to imagine.

And that's the best type of game.

Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown, May 28-June 6

Come to think of it, how can a sky be unknown. There's just the one.

As mentioned above, I played this after Ace Combat 2. With both of those under my belt, I now know: the way I want to play these games is not the way I'm supposed to play these games.

And that's fine. I feel like "gamers" nowadays are so fixated on the idea that games should let you play them however you wanna play them, and that if they can't accommodate that then they're somehow inherently flawed. It's like everything needs the mutability of Minecraft, the problem-solving freedom of Scribblenauts, and the role-playing depth of Dungeons & Dragons. If it doesn't score highly on all those axes, it's got problems.

Obviously, I disagree. Games can and should have "supposed tos." You should be expected to play a specific diegetic role. You should be limited (and by the way, you're always limited, so don't act like you aren't).

If I ever play another Ace Combat game (and I wanna play Electrosphere), I might do it on easy. I like these games but man do I not know how they want me to engage with them.

no-one has to die, June 4

I had to replay this Flash game that I had originally played once when I was probably 14.

I'm glad I did.

Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair, sometime in 2022-sometime in mid-2023

The strange thing about the Danganronpa games is that they're actually really good.

They shouldn't be. They shouldn't work. But they do.

This was kind of a replay. I had read most of the original orenronen LP back in... 2012, 2013? I only now have actually played it. And it's good. It's really good. I'm glad I went through it, and I'm glad I went through it with my fiancé, and I'm glad he knew nothing of any of the twists, and I'm glad I got to experience someone experiencing those twists for the first time.

SCARLET NEXUS, June 4-June 6, canceled

This was a second attempt after a first attempt in 2022 got deep into Yuito's story before I aborted it.

It's not for me. Not to say I don't like it--I do. A lot. I wish I could play this game. But I demand such fucking perfection from myself when playing it that I get too caught up by how poorly I'm playing to enjoy myself and actually let myself proceed.

I had to stop because I just wasn't having fun. I'm sad about it.

Risky Sanctuary, June 10

This is one of those games that I hope the developer comes back to, not to spruce up but to make anew. Because it's a really fun concept that basically got held back by being made in a month for a jam.

It really shouldn't take that long to clean come off of a wall.

HYPNOSCREEN, June 10

I keep forgetting I gotta play this more.

Parasite Eve, June 9-June 15

I'm still not super sure how I feel about this one.

The plot is fun but it never becomes compelling. There's an obviously evil scientist and he does obviously evil things. Never a good sign.

The gameplay is fun but it never hits nearly the level of intricacy and care that a close relative, Vagrant Story, does.

The dungeons are well-designed, though, and even if the setting is New York, it feels... fresh? It feels like NYC is always a backdrop in games and its specifics aren't important to it (see: Prototype). Parasite Eve actually cares that it's in NYC and it goes to locations there. The game feels like the developers enjoyed making it.

Also the OST is awesome. And Daniel fucking jumping out of the helicopter, getting lit on fire, throwing the bullets to Aya, landing in the water, and surviving is by far the coolest shit I've ever seen in anything ever.

This feels like a game you have to play at least once. I don't know why it feels that way; it just does.

WASTE EATER, June 17

It asks for like 20 minutes of your time and makes you cry. It's awesome.

EXPERIMENT: GROCERIES, June 17

I was more bored than spooked. It was a good try and maybe someone else will find it more fun than I did.

I'm sure if I replayed it and turned a critical eye to it I could talk at length about it. But I just don't want to.

I feel like if you're going to make uncanny the grocery store, there's other ways to do it.

Final Fantasy X: HD, sometime in 2023-sometime in 2023

We're about to see schedule issues. You'll find out why later.

This was, obviously, a replay.

I swear, this game gets better every single time I play it. I don't know what it is. It's such a smart, insightful game, with lovingly crafted characters. I love the inexorable northward journey, the feeling like you're constantly outrunning something even if you know you're running straight into the very thing you're outrunning.

Maybe it's because once you're aware of the spiral, its pull becomes that much stronger. I swear, I cry more with each playthrough, maybe because it just becomes all the more apparent how hopeless the journey is, and how much strength it takes to hope regardless. Yuna and Tidus are fantastic.

The gameplay ages like a fine wine, too. I know, it's turn-based, so it's hard to get clunky, but the game knows how it's being lenient to you and it knows just how to turn it against you. It's a system you can get better at. It's a game that rewards you in proportion to the time you're willing to put into it.

I don't need to tell you that FFX is a masterpiece, I hope. But it's worth reminding ourselves that it is. Because I think it's willing to be vulnerable in a way that most games just aren't anymore. I think the only Final Fantasy game that I've played that is more vulnerable than X is XIII. I respect the hell out of that.

(Speaking of, another honorable mention from the end of 2022 is my replay of the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy--and frankly, my love and appreciation for those games grew only deeper. They rule!)

You can talk about X forever. You can live in its world. It's fantastic, and it's always worth returning to.

Even if you have to make Yuna dance again, at least you know there'll be a time when she won't have to anymore.

Succubus Academia, September?-September 16

I tend to stay away from RPG Maker games, not for any valid reason but because creators, especially of eroge, tend not to really edit much. They end up looking fairly samey, with similar gameplay. Menus don't get edited, music is pretty bland, it's a fantasy setting... Exceptions exist, like Miwashiba's games ("that's a different engine!" yeah well they're still well-crafted despite being Made Like That) and, apparently Succubus Academia.

I won't tell you what tag I searched to find it on DLSite but anyway, I found it, I got it, I played it, and I loved it.

The map graphics are standard RPG Maker fare, sure, but the battles are totally custom and they're actually really fun. The music, though, the music fucking rules. I was there to bust a move, not bust a nut, I swear.

The concept is really fun too. "The only way to proceed is to literally get killed the right way. Sorry! But hey, at least you'll save the world. Snrk." Coupled with a battle system that actually has a really fun push-pull kind of resource management/health system, it just works. It helps that the battles all have Live 2D animation work going on, too.

Give this one a shot (no pun intended) if you like eroge. Seriously.

Dohna Dohna, sometime in September?-sometime in October

All right, look. It's not the best at anything. But it's pretty good at everything.

The character designs rule. The color palettes are awesome. The gameplay is fun. The OST is actually pretty outstanding. The combat is really fun. The mechanics are interesting. The writing has a lot of care put into it.

Alicesoft wanted to celebrate its anniversary and they were welcome to do it. I enjoyed celebrating with them.

Kirakira best girl. Even if Joker is truly best girl.

Baldur's Gate 3, sometime in October-November 14

One of the first sounds you hear in this game is a Wilhelm scream. This is a subtly masterful introduction to the game, as it signals to attentive players a lot about the artistic experience they're about to embark on: It will be more or less the same as everything else they've ever experienced, just remixed so it will hopefully be less noticeable.

And that's the thing. We've seen everything that BG3 does before, over and over, and we're so used to seeing all of these signs and tropes that it's actually become difficult to tell when they're being used poorly. BG3 throws so much of the same old shit at the wall and it can only stick because the shit that's there from last time still hasn't dried.

But here's the thing: I don't even know if any of its shit sticks. It's all so bad.

For instance, the party. Each individual party member is a collection of about 3 traits, plus their own unique brand of "horny for you." They're about as complex as late-stage Tales characters, but they have way less charm because they don't have anything like skits to round them out. In fact, because there's no guarantee that you'll have X or Y party member, or that they'll be present for conversation A, your party doesn't really have conversations together so much as they just talk through you like you're a telephone. You don't really have a party. You are a guy who has friends.

So you drag along this uninteresting, blandly-designed crew of the same fucking shit you've seen a billion times (literally one dude's whole thing is "I'm a vampire and I have vampire problems") who never really engage with each other (they'll maybe trade quips here and there, and they've got some dialogue they'll run through ambiently when specific ones are in the party together, but it's clear that This Does Not Matter) through a pretty standard fantasy world that by its own popularity offers little novelty. As you do so you meet asshole upon asshole who has a quick trait or two and says things in a European accent and maybe you'll get the scummiest Narrator I've ever heard say something smarmy based on a passive roll you'll probably fail mid-conversation. Go kill some shit and come back and maybe I'll try to help you not die. Idiot.

But you can't not die. You need to keep dying, and people need to keep failing to help you not die, or people need to keep trying to kill you because you're dying the wrong way for them, or else there'd be no reason to have the game. Honestly, if you lost the tadpoles before you killed the final boss, like, two party members would probably just outright try to kill each other, and everyone else would fuck off back to their shitty little lives, except for the ones who managed to escape their shitty little lives, in which case I guess the adventure continues! I don't feel like any of these people, with maybe three exceptions, would actually keep litigating the campaign if their lives weren't on the line.

But hey, even if almost every time someone speaks it's just to either whine about how hard they have it or to criticize you for a choice you made or to give you a quest because everything in Faerûn is your fucking problem, at least you get to have the gameplay! At least you get to slog through some of the most bullshit combat encounters they can throw at you with their barely-working mess of a battle system! With the most boring bosses imaginable save one! (Why is Gortash the only fun boss? Why does he get to have those explosives systems that aren't anywhere else?)

But oh, you get to make so many choices! You can be whoever you want, so long as they're someone who'll make any of these specific choices. Fuck off.

Meanwhile the music makes you want to fucking tear your hair out because I swear to god every single track uses the exact same leitmotif and it is so boring. Oh my god this game takes absolutely no fucking risks with anything. There's no fucking reason to play this thing. It's miserable. It's miserable, it'll make you save scum, its loading times (to load saves; loading areas is quick as can be!) are atrocious, and every time you have an option to pick something cool, you get fucking despised for it. You can become a fucking mind flayer and the game makes sure to tell you you're a complete fucking scumbag for doing it.

I hate this game. I hate it so fucking much. It is so bad and it has nothing redeemable in it and it has nothing noteworthy in it and worst of all it is just not at all fun. It's awful.

Game of the Year. Play it.

Monark, November 25-December 3

Time to fulfill the promise I made back with Poison Control.

This game is good. It's not great. Maybe it's pretty good. I liked it a lot. I enjoyed playing it.

Does it have problems? Sure. Could they be easily corrected? Yep. Does that hamper my perception of it? Of course.

As I said, sometimes you just wanna play a mid game.

After I finished Monark, I checked out its TV Tropes page, and I of course linked to "So Okay, It's Average." The Quotes page on that trope all seem to imply that just being all right is somehow worse than being bad.

I can't agree with that.

First of all, I think the binary of "good" and "bad" art is a false one. There's value in literally all art. There's something to mine, to find, to take home, to use, to learn--to whatever--in everything. Meaning and worth aren't exclusive to the good.

Maybe something isn't as good as it could be, but it's certainly what it is, and nothing else is as good at being it. Monark maybe isn't a great game but it's awesome at being Monark. I doubt any other game could compare.

So many articles from game writers and journalists lament the concept that "there's so many great games out there that it's just impossible to want to make time for anything that isn't great." That's... such a sad state, to me. Imagine playing a game only because it is considered "great." Imagine needing everything you play to have an award or a green Metacritic score just so you'll make time for it.

I don't think these writers mean to do this when they say it, but they're really benefiting a capitalist mindset. Companies have to do everything they can to get your attention. They have to make "great" games, or you won't play them. They need hype machines. They need stellar reviews. They need people talking. They need public reception to manufacture their game's own greatness, so that it will be great and then be played and then make money. If the incentive to get good reviews is to make money then the game is just a product and it wasn't made to be art.

I don't think people purposely set out to make shitty games or average games. I just think they set out to make the game they make, and the question is how well they achieve that goal. And that's entirely personal. It's something that only the creators can decide.

But in the end, some of the creators are producers and directors and executives at publishing companies who look at games in terms overhead, costs, projected income, earnings statements, financial reports.

But these are the people who make great games. Because they have to money to spend to make them great, the clout they need to keep exploiting their specific workers, and the agents necessary to make sure that reviewing publications will be predisposed to helping make their game great (you know, like what Nintendo relies on pretty much exclusively). The game doesn't have to be good. People just have to be told that it is, and then when enough people believe, they'll police the narrative so much that others will be scared to voice their opinion without getting a ton of clown emojis in their inboxes.

I'm not saying that's every "great" game. I'm willing to argue it's probably most Games of the Year as determined by Big Industry Figure Geoff Keighley, though (borne out for sure with 2022's winner; Elden Ring is so mediocre, dude).

Anyway, there's no need to play all the "great" games that are out. You know what you can play instead? The games you want to play.

You don't have to agree with me that sometimes you just wanna play a mid game. But you'll probably agree that sometimes you just wanna play a specific game. Good, bad, or mid, it's what you want to play because it, in some way, speaks to you.

That's all you need.

Mediterranea Inferno, December 4-December 6

Until now, I was cautious about pandemic stories.

The problem has always been that, sure, the lockdown happened for a year (in the US, at least), but it was only a year. It was major, to be sure, and I'm not downplaying that, but in the grand scheme of human history, it was a year. There's no guarantee (or even, necessarily, reason to believe) anything like it will happen again for a long time. So, I thought, how applicable could stories that come from it be to the future?

Don't get me wrong, I always recognized that in the lockdown was stories about isolation, grief, illness, fear, loss. But those are all distinctly human things we've been writing about since we could write. They weren't unique to the pandemic. Why use the very specific imagery of the lockdown to tell a story about those things when there's definitely more universal things to use?

I'm, as always, an idiot.

Beyond just the fact that it was an event and we'll never stop needing to take stock of it, to examine it, to see who we were and became through it, the pandemic was a world-ending phenomenon, a sea change, a new way of understanding ourselves, or misunderstanding ourselves, or misunderstanding others.

Mediterranea Inferno is about having lost yourself. The lockdowns made three young Italian men lose themselves, and when they came back together in 2022 they found that they had lost each other, too. It presents continuity with their histories: their self-destruction wasn't inevitable, but the pandemic forcing them to grapple with their places in life created living nightmares of isolation, grief, powerlessness, loss of identity, and loneliness.

When you start a new game, a card informs you that the creator made it "about his generation." He seems to think that we're lost, not in the way that the Lost Generation was, but in a different way. Whereas in the 1920s we lost faith in symbols, institutions, and humanity, in the 2020s we lost faith in ourselves and each other.

It's terrifying to admit that we can't do this alone, and that the crutches we always used to get through each day were other people. Claudio relied on his family name; it lost all meaning when his father blew his inherited fortune, revealing that there isn't necessarily a continuity between past success (Nino) and the present. Mida relied on the ways he could keep people at arm's length and when he couldn't get closer to the only person he wanted to grow closer to, he decided that others were there for him to take. And Andrea was never able to identify precisely what he needed from other people to keep him going, mistaking sex and skin-deep pleasure for the validation he so desperately craved.

Of course, if one of them gets accepted to Heaven during the Assumption, one of the others kills their friends and, in one case, accidentally himself. And if none of them make it--or if all of them do--they tell themselves that they're no longer friends. They walk away. They fall to the ground. They feel, sharply, the absence. They try to feel it in the crutches they replaced each other with (the past, the prestige, the plenty). But it isn't there.

Alternatively, if they suffer enough, they can give their spiritual guide through their pain an opportunity as well, and through him learn that they went through all of it to encourage them to revolt against their fathers, against the endless history that suffuses every rock in Italy. Paraphrasing: "There's never been an Italian Revolution. We've always been satisfied with what our fathers gave us, so long as we had permission to kill our brothers." He, like so many, wanted the pandemic to become a watershed moment, one that spurred on change, made the world a better place.

And the Sun Guys reject it. Their revolt is to refuse to be told what to do.

Just give them time to figure out what to do next.

I don't think you can tell this story without the pandemic.

This game is bleak. It's harsh. The style is immaculate. The soundtrack rules. Play it.

Assassin's Creed: Valhalla, June 16-ongoing

Here is why the schedule slipped.

I like this game a lot. I burned myself out on it. Over the course of months.

I'm still not done. I'm not letting myself uninstall it until I'm done.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Pokémon Fool's Gold, unknown

The new music was great and the sprites were awesome and I love Eris. But to me this was mostly a fun new way to experience Gen 2. That's not a bad thing, really. Gen 2 isn't great, but there's a lot about it to love.

Pokémon Unbound, unknown

This and the previous entry are the only two Pokémon mods or fangames or whatever that I've ever played. I'm glad I started here!

If you're into playing fangames or whatever you know about this one and you know it rules. I'm not gonna bother praising it directly, though I'll say it earns all the good things said about it.

For me, projects like these really remind me of why we're still drawn to the Pokémon series even when the people in charge of it keep making pretty drastic decisions. I've said for years that the series is for kids and that it's not only fine but right to keep its focus firmly on kids, but Black and White proved that we can actually have our cake and eat it, too. We can have a game for kids that is also just flat-out a good game.

But for some reason, even if I ended up loving Gen 7 more than I did Gen 5, I feel like it's harder to call Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon good games? It's more like I can call them good Pokémon games. But are they good games?

I want them to be.

But what I want Pokémon games to be is totally different from what anyone else wants Pokémon games to be. Fool's Gold and Unbound confirmed that to me. I mean, I always knew it was true, but they confirmed it. What surprised me about them was that they were also good. That even if they weren't my vision, I still enjoyed them as a vision for Pokémon.

But to return to what I said a few paragraphs ago: We're still drawn to Pokémon because in each new entry we find more promises. We find new things to enjoy, to marvel at, to wonder about, to fill in. Every new mainline entry, especially since Black and White, feels like a new reinterpretation of what Pokémon is and can be, and even if we as fans don't always agree, we still have the conversation and we're still often compelled enough by something in the new interpretation that we hang onto it and let it be a part of what Pokémon is to us.

For as much as it stays the same, Pokémon is very much a living franchise, one that changes and, no pun intended, evolves. Maybe it does so in different ways than we might want, but there's nothing stopping us from knowing better. Well, nothing except Nintendo, a company that is more than welcome to fucking die immediately.

Pokémon, both the franchise and its fan works, is constantly grasping toward perfection. But we all know that perfection doesn't exist. We head towards and we know that we'll fail and we also know that even if we were to attain perfection, we'd reject it. Perfection is an illusion, a cruel one; even were it not, it would still be cruel, a poison pill. Real beauty isn't in perfection, it's in striving for it knowing you'll fail. It's about being weak, bad even, useless even, and still being loved. It's about trying, hard, getting nowhere close, and smiling afterward. It's about working together to make something new, something that loves, something that brings us all together to love even harder. It's about the struggle; it's about the effort; it's about the handshake after the battle.

Wherever Pokémon goes, no matter who's propelling it along, it'll be Pokémon. And that's what I want.