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fortheloveofpearlet · 7 years

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Straightjacket Feeling - Pearlet [Chapter 12]

A/N - so sorry this has taken so long, life has gotten in the way. Think there may only be tow more chapters after this one. Contains smut and angst.

Chapter 12

Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I've thought it through

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Two months later

'We're moving the wedding forward.' Courtney beamed as she squeezed Matt's knee.

'What?' Brian gasped. 'When?'

Courtney and Matt exchanged a look before Matt bit his lip.

'Next week.' He spoke, although he didn't sound as happy about it as Courtney.

'Holy shit!' Jake proclaimed. 'You aren't pregnant are you Court?'

'Oh heavens no!' She giggled. 'We're just getting so fed up with all this wedding planning and the venue had a last minute cancellation so we thought, why not?'

Jason could have screamed. Or cried. Or laughed. But instead he did nothing. He saw Kurtis looking at him out of the corner of his eye but he ignored him. After the day he and Danny were supposed to move in together things had just seemed to go back to normal. Matt and Courtney continued their wedding planning, Jason fell back in the role of Matt's best friend, Matt had told him he still wanted him to be his best man but Jason had declined and said Jake was doing a much better job. The wedding wasn't supposed to be for another eight months, Jason hoped that would be plenty of time for him to wrap his head around this. But now it was next week. Was Matt purposefully trying to crush him?

'Excuse me a minute. I need some air.' Jason croaked and rose from his chair without making eye contact with anyone. Kurtis watched him slump away. Jason hadn't been the same since he and Danny had broken up. He'd had an air of sadness about him that he carried around like a dark rain cloud. He wasn't his happy, funny self anymore. But Kurtis knew it had nothing to do with Danny.

'I'll go and check on him.' Kurtis stood up and went to leave but Matt stopped him.

'No, I'll go.' He gave Kurtis a look. The look said, this is my fault, let me fix it. Kurtis nodded and sat back down. Matt stepped outside to see Jason on the other side of the pub garden, his back to him. His shoulders were slumped as he leant on the fence and he had a cigarette dangling limply from his fingers.

'Since when do you smoke?' Matt asked softly as approached and leant on the fence next to Jason. Jason didn't look at him, he flicked ash off the cigarette.

'Don't know. I brought a pack the other week and this is so far the first one I've lit. I took one drag and it made me want to be sick so...' Jason shrugged. Matt reached over and took it from him before putting it to his lips. Jason looked at him and frowned.

'No point in it going to waste.' Matt shrugged. Jason looked away from him again.

'So, you're getting married next week.' He croaked, not sounding like himself but then again he hadn't in a while.

'Yeah.'

'You know it didn't have to be me or Courtney? Just because I said I didn't want you doesn't mean you still have to marry her.'

'I know.' Matt dragged on the cigarette. 'I want to marry her. I think I do anyway.'

'You know I can't come to the wedding right?' Jason told him, staring up at the sky now. Matt had a feeling he was going to say that.

'I figured as much.' Matt flicked the cigarette out into the street. He gently took hold of Jason's shoulders and turned him to face him. 'It's not going to be the same without you there.'

'But you know why I can't be.' Jason's eyes had tears behind them, Matt could see them glistening in the moonlight. 'I can't sit there and watch you marry someone else.'

'You had the choice not to Jason. I told you I'd leave her if you wanted me to.'

'There was never a choice Matt.' Jason shook his head. 'I've never been a choice.'

'We're not going to be ok are we?' Matt bit his lip. Jason frowned as his first tear escaped his eye.

'I don't think that we are, no. I've spent too long having to be your friend when it killed me to do so. And now Matt...I honestly don't think I'm strong enough to do it anymore. I want to be, because I don't want to lose you, but being your friend is too painful.' More tears followed and Jason wished they would stop because he felt so pathetic.

'Will you at least come to my bachelor party? One last night Jay, and then if you still don't want anything more to do with me then I won't stop you walking away.' Matt cupped Jason's face, he couldn't stop himself. Jason wanted to say no, he needed to end this now, but he was always so useless at saying no to Matt.

'Ok.' Jason croaked.

'Thank you.' Matt pulled him into a hug. 'I'm sorry things worked out this way.' Matt spoke into Jason's neck. Jason felt as though his heart was being ripped from his chest.

'Me too.' He sniffed. 'I'm going to head home, but have Jake send me the details of the bachelor party and I'll see you then.'

'Ok, I will.' Matt stroked Jason's cheek. He stood limply and watched him walk away. He was never not going to be in love with Jason. He just hoped one day he would feel even an ounce of that love towards the woman he was marrying.

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Jason played with his thumbs in his lap as he sat in the bar a few days later. He knew the Brian's and Jake and of course he knew Matt but he didn't know where any of them were right now. He was sat with some of Matt's work colleagues who he'd never met before and he had no idea why Jake had invited them to the bachelor party. Kurtis and Patrick couldn't make it so Jason was basically left alone. He'd thought he might get the chance to spend some time with Matt, the last night they would see each other before they went their separate ways. Wasn't that why Matt had asked him to come? He had a feeling Jake was purposefully trying to keep them apart. Just as Jason was thinking about leaving, he was sure he wouldn't be missed anyway, there was a hand on his shoulder and a drink being handed to him. He looked up at Matt who had his bright smile on his face. He had a sash on that was slipping off his shoulder that read Groom to Be.

'I need to smoke, come with me?' He beamed, his hand still on Jason's shoulder. Jason sighed, took the drink and nodded.

'Sure.' He stood from the table and followed Matt outside. Matt lit a cigarette and Jason swilled the drink around in the glass.

'Let me guess, Violet Kiss?'

'Of course.' Matt smiled.

'Are you ever going to tell me the secret behind this? I mean, after tonight we're not going to be hanging out anymore so I have to know what it is?'

'It's a secret.' Matt shrugged. 'But I can tell you where I came up with the name if you like?' Matt sipped his own Violet Kiss and raised an eyebrow at Jason.

'Go on then.' Jason sighed again. It was hard making small talk with him when he knew it would be the last time. Matt stepped a little closer to Jason.

'Well you see, the night I invented the Violet Kiss, I'd seen you in the library that day.' Matt touched Jason's chest but Jason wasn't sure why. He could tell Matt was a little tipsy. 'And you were wearing this cute purple shirt and it was...it was actually the first time I ever thought about what it would be like to kiss you. So I made the drink and Jake asked me what I was going to call it and Violet Kiss was the first thing that came to my head.' He kept his hand on Jason's chest, the cigarette burning from between his fingers.

'You're lying.' Jason scoffed.

'Am not!' Matt sounded offended and took his hand off Jason and dragged on the cigarette. 'I know I always told you that I noticed you around campus because you reminded me of high school me, but that wasn't strictly true. I noticed you on your first day on campus because I thought you were the most beautiful person I'd ever laid eyes on. I used to go and sit in the library at the next table over from you and just watch you study. And the day we met, I tripped you on purpose. I wanted to talk to you so bad and it seemed like a good excuse.' Matt shrugged as though he could have been talking about anything and not confessing six year old secrets. Jason backed away from him shaking his head.

'Stop it!' He sniffed. 'Stop lying to me Matt!'

'I'm not lying!' Matt threw the cigarette to the floor and backed Jason into a wall. He placed his free hand on Jason's cheek. 'I swear to you this is all true. I just never had it in me to tell you before.'

Jason bit his lip. Why now? Why was Matt confessing all of this the night before his wedding?

'Why didn't you tell me back then? It might have actually meant something then.' Jason spat as angrily as he could but it didn't come out as angry as he'd liked. Matt sighed and removed his hand from Jason's cheek so he could run it through his hair.

'My family never would have understood.' He shrugged.

'Understood what?'

'They never would have understood if I ended up with you.' Matt blurted. Jason's eyes widened as he looked at Matt.

'What?' Jason shook his head. What the hell was going on? Matt sighed and then his hand was on Jason's cheek again and he was closing in on him and then he kissed him. Jason melted into the kiss the way he always did. It was only a brief kiss, much like their very first one. Matt pulled back but he stayed close to Jason.

'Now.' He whispered, making Jason frown. But Matt continued. 'It's been five years since I told you not now. But it's now. That night in Daytona, it was the best night of my entire fucking life Jason but I knew my parents wouldn't understand. You have no idea how hard it was to pry myself away from you that morning, and that note...I know you deserved more of an explanation than that but my heart was fucking breaking and that was all I was able to force myself to write. I couldn't even finish writing my name because I started crying! I wish I'd just said fuck it, I wish I was braver and that I didn't care what my parents would say but I do. I'm a fucking coward and I thought that if we just didn't talk about it then I could pretend my heart wasn't breaking. And when I met Court, I was so fucking miserable when I met her. I missed you like crazy, I'd even been thinking of cutting my trip short because I missed you so much. I never would have gotten through that without her and I knew asking her to move back to the states with me was insane but she made stop thinking about you and I thought I needed to keep her around, you know?' Matt went on, each word shocking Jason more and more. He'd had no idea Matt had felt that way. And of course he knew what Matt meant, that had been exactly what he'd done with Danny.

'I wish you would have told me this back then.' Jason sighed. 'This doesn't mean anything now Matt! It's too late for us.'

'I know.' Matt sniffed. 'This is going to sound so fucking selfish Jason and I can't believe I'm even going to ask but...' he trailed off, scratching his head.

'What is it?' Jason asked him softly.

'I'm getting married tomorrow and I'm probably never going to see you again. But is there any way we can...I just need...I need you Jay. I need one last night with you. I know it's not fair of me to ask such a thing but fuck Jay, I need you so bad. I need one more-' Matt was cut off by Jason's kissing him.

'Yes.' Jason croaked. 'Yes for the love of god yes Matt.' He knew it was dumb and it wasn't going to help matters but he needed Matt. If he could only have one last night with him then that would have to do.

'Are you sure?' Matt asked him wide eyed.

'Yes! Now for fuck sakes take me home Matt.' Jason begged and Matt half-smiled.

'Ok Jay.' He grabbed Jason's hand and they discarded their drinks before rushing out on to the street in search of a cab.

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They were practically falling over themselves getting into Jason's apartment. Matt's lips had been on his the whole cab ride and now as Jason fumbled with the door Matt kissed his neck, sucking and biting his skin as he pushed himself into Jason's back. Jason managed to get the door open and they fell inside. Matt spun Jason around and kissed his lips again, wrapping his arms tightly around the younger boy. Jason walked backwards towards his bedroom, refusing to let his lips leave Matt's for a single second. If this was going to be the last time, he was going to make every second count. Suddenly Jason's calves made contact with the end of the bed and he fell backwards, their lips separating. Matt stood at the end of the bed laughing a little.

'So graceful.' He laughed.

'Fuck you.' Jason rolled his eyes.

'That's the plan.' Matt bit his lip and swiftly pulled his t-shirt over his head. He crawled up the bed and their lips were reunited. Jason ran his fingers over the warm flesh of Matt's back, scraping his fingernails a little on his skin. Matt knew it would probably leave marks but in that moment he didn't care. He worked on the buttons of Jason shirt, slowly teasing them until they were all undone and Jason sat up so he could shrug it from his body. Matt laid back down on top of Jason, he felt a spark, like an electrical currant as their skin melted together. His fingers worked their way into Jason's thick ebony locks, he liked the feeling of them getting lost in there. Jason nibbled on Matt's bottom lip as they kiss and each time he did Matt would roll his hips and Jason would feel how hard he was.

'Less clothes.' Jason panted. 'Need to feel you.' Matt kissed him really hard making all the air from Jason's lungs vanish. He sat back up and worked on the button of his jeans while Jason did the same. Through Matt's boxers Jason could see him straining against the fabric and his fingers trailed the bulge in his pants. Matt rolled his head back and hissed.

'I don't understand how your hands always feel so fucking good even when you're not really doing anything.' He muttered. Jason smirked and let his fingers wander to the waistband and he slowly let one finger dip inside Matt's pants a little. He gently tugged at the material as if he was going to pull them down but he didn't. Another finger slid past the waistband followed by another and another until he was grasping the fabric with his hand.

'Shall I take them off?' Jason spoke low and sexily. Matt exhaled heavily.

'Please?' He whined a little. Jason stopped his teasing and pulled down Matt's pants and tossed them across the room before getting out of his own and kicking them off. Matt laid back down and there wasn't any words describe how incredible it felt for their skin to touch without any damn fabric in the way. It felt so different to how Matt remembered it all those years ago; maybe because they had rushed it before, but he wanted to take his time now. He wanted to immortalise the way Jason's skin felt and the way it smelt. He wanted to capture what it was like to kiss Jason, to run his fingers through his hair and to kiss every little inch of skin. He wanted to commit it all to memory because he knew this was the last time. His lips made their way back down Jason's neck, sucking marks into the younger boy’s skin as if to say, even if only for tonight, you're mine. He kissed over his collarbones and all over his chest. He spent a while sucking on each of Jason's nipples and teasing his piercing making Jason yelp with pleasure. He placed gentle kisses on the delicate skin on Jason's stomach and hip bones. He kissed down the inside of his thigh, all the way down his leg and back up the other. He even kissed Jason's swollen head. The boy beneath him was a mess that was the only word for it. Matt kissed down the length of Jason's shaft and surprised him when he kept going lower and Jason gasped when he felt Matt's tongue at his entrance.

'Fuck.' Jason panted looking down at Matt with large eyes. Matt smiled and stroked his thigh.

'Want to make sure I get to taste every part of you Jay.' Matt told him as he started trying to replicate what Jason had done to him once. He took his time licking around his hole, making sure he didn't miss a single part of his skin before taking a deep breath and allowing his tongue to glide in. It was the strangest feeling Matt had ever experience but god did it feel good. And judging by the way Jason was moaning he guessed he was doing something right. He worked his tongue inside the younger boy and used one of his hands to gently stroke Jason's dick. Jason was making the most incoherent noises that Matt had ever heard. He continued this for a while feeling Jason's pre come leaking onto his hand. After a while he slid his tongue back out and licked his entrance a little more before sitting up, his hand still around Jason's shaft.

'Need lube.' Matt kissed his stomach and Jason nodded dumbly reaching his spindly arm over to the bedside drawer and grabbing the lube and condom. To Jason's surprise Matt didn't put the condom on, instead he started slicking up his fingers. Jason just watched in awe.

'I want to do everything with you.' Matt told him as he pressed his coated fingers outside Jason's hole. Jason couldn't argue with that. Matt wasn't tentative like he thought he'd be, he slid his fingers inside him like he'd been doing this his whole life. Maybe he'd been watching porn or something Jason thought because the way Matt was scissoring him didn't feel like this was his first time. He was still stroking Jason's erection and Jason felt so close to the brink but he didn't want this to end yet.

'Matt I'm gonna come real soon.'

'It's ok.' Matt smiled, adding a third finger.

'But I want you Matt, I want you to fuck me.' Jason begged and it made Matt's dick throb.

'I will baby, don't worry.' He pushed his fingers in as far as he could and Jason groaned, screwing the bed sheets up in his hands. Matt picked up his pace on his strokes, wanting to make this beautiful creature reach his climax. Jason moaned deeper than before and Matt watched as his face contorted and felt his come spilling on to his hand. Matt gently slid his fingers out and fell on top of Jason, not caring that he was laying in his come. He held his face and kissed him passionately. Jason was still panting when Matt sat up and ripped open the condom wrapper. He rolled it on and coated some lube on before taking Jason's legs and wrapping them around his waist. Jason hadn't gotten over his orgasm when he felt Matt inch his way inside him. Matt held Jason's hips and didn't waste any time as he began to thrust in and out of his tight hole. Jason was writhing in the bed, his hands wandering to grab Matt's ass.

'You have never looked more beautiful.' Matt panted as he thrust harder, not being able to control himself. Jason moaned deeply and Matt guessed that meant he found his prostate so he made sure keep that up. It wasn't long before Matt saw Jason's cock hardening again and one of Jason's hands left his ass cheek and wrapped around his own dick. Matt felt sweat gathering at his temples as he picked up his pace further, needing the sweet feeling of release.

'Matt...so fucking good...Matt oh my god Matt...' Jason babbled. He arched his back, his pumps on his cock becoming lazy. Matt went a little light headed as he felt his balls tightening and he gasped loudly, moaning Jason's name as he filled the condom with his load. Jason was muttering incoherently, his eyes closed. Matt gently pulled out and surprised Jason by moving his hand and taking his full length in this mouth, feeling it hit the back of his throat. Jason groaned, still muttering things under his breath. The only thing Matt could make out was his own name leaving the younger boys lips every so often. He sucked and he licked desperate to give Jason another orgasm. It surprisingly didn't take too long before Jason practically screamed and Matt felt his warm come filling his mouth. They were both panting heavily as Matt got rid of the condom and fell down next to Jason. Jason rolled onto his side and laid his head on Matt's chest.

'I'm really going to fucking miss you.' He sniffed and Matt felt liquid hitting his chest. Jason was crying. Matt wrapped his arms tightly around the boy and started placing gentle kisses in his messy hair as he own tears started to fall.

'Please don't think about that right now pumpkin.' He cooed but he knew it was inevitable.

'It's not fair Matt, nothing is fucking fair.' Jason sobbed, burying his head into Matt. Matt's heart physically ached.

'I know sweetie, I know.' Matt bit his lip.

'I'm never going to stop loving you, just know that Matt.' Jason whispered sniffing heavily. Matt kissed his hair again and stroked his back.

'Just say the word Jason. Tell me not to go through with it tomorrow.'

'No.' Jason sniffed. 'I still can't forgive you.' He lied.

'Ok.' Matt squeezed him tightly. 'I swear I'm going to love you for the rest of my life.'

'That's not really much of a comfort but thank you.' Jason sniffed again. They fell into silence after that. They were both exhausted from their orgasms but they couldn't sleep. Tomorrow Matt was going to marry Courtney. Tomorrow would be the last time Jason and Matt would ever see each other. It was finally over. Six years’ worth of feelings, of words unspoken and hidden secrets. It was over. This was the end. And nothing was ever going to be the same again.

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Do I wanna know, if this feeling flows both ways? Sad to see you go, was sort of hoping that you'd stay. Baby we both know, that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day. Crawling back to you.

#pearlet #violet chachki #pearl liaison #matthew lent #jason dardo #courtney act #angst #Smut

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Straightjacket Feeling - Chp.12 (Pearlet) by Scarlet

A/N - sorry this has taken so long, life well and truly got in the way. Contains angst and smut.

Chapter 12

Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I’ve thought it through

Two months later

‘We’re moving the wedding forward.’ Courtney beamed as she squeezed Matt’s knee.

'What?’ Brian gasped. 'When?’

Courtney and Matt exchanged a look before Matt bit his lip.

'Next week.’ He spoke, although he didn’t sound as happy about it as Courtney.

'Holy shit!’ Jake proclaimed. 'You aren’t pregnant are you Court?’

'Oh heavens no!’ She giggled. 'We’re just getting so fed up with all this wedding planning and the venue had a last minute cancellation so we thought, why not?'

Jason could have screamed. Or cried. Or laughed. But instead he did nothing. He saw Kurtis looking at him out of the corner of his eye but he ignored him. After the day he and Danny were supposed to move in together things had just seemed to go back to normal. Matt and Courtney continued their wedding planning, Jason fell back in the role of Matt’s best friend, Matt had told him he still wanted him to be his best man but Jason had declined and said Jake was doing a much better job. The wedding wasn’t supposed to be for another eight months, Jason hoped that would be plenty of time for him to wrap his head around this. But now it was next week. Was Matt purposefully trying to crush him?

'Excuse me a minute. I need some air.’ Jason croaked and rose from his chair without making eye contact with anyone. Kurtis watched him slump away. Jason hadn’t been the same since he and Danny had broken up. He’d had an air of sadness about him that he carried around like a dark rain cloud. He wasn’t his happy, funny self anymore. But Kurtis knew it had nothing to do with Danny.

'I’ll go and check on him.’ Kurtis stood up and went to leave but Matt stopped him.

'No, I’ll go.’ He gave Kurtis a look. The look said, this is my fault, let me fix it. Kurtis nodded and sat back down. Matt stepped outside to see Jason on the other side of the pub garden, his back to him. His shoulders were slumped as he leant on the fence and he had a cigarette dangling limply from his fingers.

'Since when do you smoke?’ Matt asked softly as approached and leant on the fence next to Jason. Jason didn’t look at him, he flicked ash off the cigarette.

'Don’t know. I brought a pack the other week and this is so far the first one I’ve lit. I took one drag and it made me want to be sick so…’ Jason shrugged. Matt reached over and took it from him before putting it to his lips. Jason looked at him and frowned.

'No point in it going to waste.’ Matt shrugged. Jason looked away from him again.

'So, you’re getting married next week.’ He croaked, not sounding like himself but then again he hadn’t in a while.

'Yeah.'

'You know it didn’t have to be me or Courtney? Just because I said I didn’t want you doesn’t mean you still have to marry her.'

'I know.’ Matt dragged on the cigarette. 'I want to marry her. I think I do anyway.'

'You know I can’t come to the wedding right?’ Jason told him, staring up at the sky now. Matt had a feeling he was going to say that.

'I figured as much.’ Matt flicked the cigarette out into the street. He gently took hold of Jason’s shoulders and turned him to face him. 'It’s not going to be the same without you there.'

'But you know why I can’t be.’ Jason’s eyes had tears behind them, Matt could see them glistening in the moonlight. 'I can’t sit there and watch you marry someone else.’

'You had the choice not to Jason. I told you I’d leave her if you wanted me to.'

'There was never a choice Matt.’ Jason shook his head. 'I’ve never been a choice.'

'We’re not going to be ok are we?’ Matt bit his lip. Jason frowned as his first tear escaped his eye.

'I don’t think that we are, no. I’ve spent too long having to be your friend when it killed me to do so. And now Matt…I honestly don’t think I’m strong enough to do it anymore. I want to be, because I don’t want to lose you, but being your friend is too painful.’ More tears followed and Jason wished they would stop because he felt so pathetic.

'Will you at least come to my bachelor party? One last night Jay, and then if you still don’t want anything more to do with me then I won’t stop you walking away.’ Matt cupped Jason’s face, he couldn’t stop himself. Jason wanted to say no, he needed to end this now, but he was always so useless at saying no to Matt.

'Ok.’ Jason croaked.

'Thank you.’ Matt pulled him into a hug. 'I’m sorry things worked out this way.’ Matt spoke into Jason’s neck. Jason felt as though his heart was being ripped from his chest.

'Me too.’ He sniffed. 'I’m going to head home, but have Jake send me the details of the bachelor party and I’ll see you then.'

'Ok, I will.’ Matt stroked Jason’s cheek. He stood limply and watched him walk away. He was never not going to be in love with Jason. He just hoped one day he would feel even an ounce of that love towards the woman he was marrying.

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Jason played with his thumbs in his lap as he sat in the bar a few days later. He knew the Brian’s and Jake and of course he knew Matt but he didn’t know where any of them were right now. He was sat with some of Matt’s work colleagues who he’d never met before and he had no idea why Jake had invited them to the bachelor party. Kurtis and Patrick couldn’t make it so Jason was basically left alone. He’d thought he might get the chance to spend some time with Matt, the last night they would see each other before they went their separate ways. Wasn’t that why Matt had asked him to come? He had a feeling Jake was purposefully trying to keep them apart. Just as Jason was thinking about leaving, he was sure he wouldn’t be missed anyway, there was a hand on his shoulder and a drink being handed to him. He looked up at Matt who had his bright smile on his face. He had a sash on that was slipping off his shoulder that read Groom to Be.

'I need to smoke, come with me?’ He beamed, his hand still on Jason’s shoulder. Jason sighed, took the drink and nodded.

'Sure.’ He stood from the table and followed Matt outside. Matt lit a cigarette and Jason swilled the drink around in the glass.

'Let me guess, Violet Kiss?’

'Of course.’ Matt smiled.

'Are you ever going to tell me the secret behind this? I mean, after tonight we’re not going to be hanging out anymore so I have to know what it is?'

'It’s a secret.’ Matt shrugged. 'But I can tell you where I came up with the name if you like?’ Matt sipped his own Violet Kiss and raised an eyebrow at Jason.

'Go on then.’ Jason sighed again. It was hard making small talk with him when he knew it would be the last time. Matt stepped a little closer to Jason.

'Well you see, the night I invented the Violet Kiss, I’d seen you in the library that day.’ Matt touched Jason’s chest but Jason wasn’t sure why. He could tell Matt was a little tipsy. 'And you were wearing this cute purple shirt and it was…it was actually the first time I ever thought about what it would be like to kiss you. So I made the drink and Jake asked me what I was going to call it and Violet Kiss was the first thing that came to my head.’ He kept his hand on Jason’s chest, the cigarette burning from between his fingers.

'You’re lying.’ Jason scoffed.

'Am not!’ Matt sounded offended and took his hand off Jason and dragged on the cigarette. 'I know I always told you that I noticed you around campus because you reminded me of high school me, but that wasn’t strictly true. I noticed you on your first day on campus because I thought you were the most beautiful person I’d ever laid eyes on. I used to go and sit in the library at the next table over from you and just watch you study. And the day we met, I tripped you on purpose. I wanted to talk to you so bad and it seemed like a good excuse.’ Matt shrugged as though he could have been talking about anything and not confessing six year old secrets. Jason backed away from him shaking his head.

'Stop it!’ He sniffed. 'Stop lying to me Matt!'

'I’m not lying!’ Matt threw the cigarette to the floor and backed Jason into a wall. He placed his free hand on Jason’s cheek. 'I swear to you this is all true. I just never had it in me to tell you before.'

Jason bit his lip. Why now? Why was Matt confessing all of this the night before his wedding?

'Why didn’t you tell me back then? It might have actually meant something then.’ Jason spat as angrily as he could but it didn’t come out as angry as he’d liked. Matt sighed and removed his hand from Jason’s cheek so he could run it through his hair.

'My family never would have understood.’ He shrugged.

'Understood what?’

'They never would have understood if I ended up with you.’ Matt blurted. Jason’s eyes widened as he looked at Matt.

'What?’ Jason shook his head. What the hell was going on? Matt sighed and then his hand was on Jason’s cheek again and he was closing in on him and then he kissed him. Jason melted into the kiss the way he always did. It was only a brief kiss, much like their very first one. Matt pulled back but he stayed close to Jason.

'Now.’ He whispered, making Jason frown. But Matt continued. 'It’s been five years since I told you not now. But it’s now. That night in Daytona, it was the best night of my entire fucking life Jason but I knew my parents wouldn’t understand. You have no idea how hard it was to pry myself away from you that morning, and that note…I know you deserved more of an explanation than that but my heart was fucking breaking and that was all I was able to force myself to write. I couldn’t even finish writing my name because I started crying! I wish I’d just said fuck it, I wish I was braver and that I didn’t care what my parents would say but I do. I’m a fucking coward and I thought that if we just didn’t talk about it then I could pretend my heart wasn’t breaking. And when I met Court, I was so fucking miserable when I met her. I missed you like crazy, I’d even been thinking of cutting my trip short because I missed you so much. I never would have gotten through that without her and I knew asking her to move back to the states with me was insane but she made stop thinking about you and I thought I needed to keep her around, you know?’ Matt went on, each word shocking Jason more and more. He’d had no idea Matt had felt that way. And of course he knew what Matt meant, that had been exactly what he’d done with Danny.

'I wish you would have told me this back then.’ Jason sighed. 'This doesn’t mean anything now Matt! It’s too late for us.'

'I know.’ Matt sniffed. 'This is going to sound so fucking selfish Jason and I can’t believe I’m even going to ask but…’ he trailed off, scratching his head.

'What is it?’ Jason asked him softly.

'I’m getting married tomorrow and I’m probably never going to see you again. But is there any way we can…I just need…I need you Jay. I need one last night with you. I know it’s not fair of me to ask such a thing but fuck Jay, I need you so bad. I need one more-’ Matt was cut off by Jason’s kissing him.

'Yes.’ Jason croaked. 'Yes for the love of god yes Matt.’ He knew it was dumb and it wasn’t going to help matters but he needed Matt. If he could only have one last night with him then that would have to do.

'Are you sure?’ Matt asked him wide eyed.

'Yes! Now for fuck sakes take me home Matt.’ Jason begged and Matt half-smiled.

'Ok Jay.’ He grabbed Jason’s hand and they discarded their drinks before rushing out on to the street in search of a cab.

—————————————–

They were practically falling over themselves getting into Jason’s apartment. Matt’s lips had been on his the whole cab ride and now as Jason fumbled with the door Matt kissed his neck, sucking and biting his skin as he pushed himself into Jason’s back. Jason managed to get the door open and they fell inside. Matt spun Jason around and kissed his lips again, wrapping his arms tightly around the younger boy. Jason walked backwards towards his bedroom, refusing to let his lips leave Matt’s for a single second. If this was going to be the last time, he was going to make every second count. Suddenly Jason’s calves made contact with the end of the bed and he fell backwards, their lips separating. Matt stood at the end of the bed laughing a little.

'So graceful.’ He laughed.

'Fuck you.’ Jason rolled his eyes.

'That’s the plan.’ Matt bit his lip and swiftly pulled his t-shirt over his head. He crawled up the bed and their lips were reunited. Jason ran his fingers over the warm flesh of Matt’s back, scraping his fingernails a little on his skin. Matt knew it would probably leave marks but in that moment he didn’t care. He worked on the buttons of Jason shirt, slowly teasing them until they were all undone and Jason sat up so he could shrug it from his body. Matt laid back down on top of Jason, he felt a spark, like an electrical currant as their skin melted together. His fingers worked their way into Jason’s thick ebony locks, he liked the feeling of them getting lost in there. Jason nibbled on Matt’s bottom lip as they kiss and each time he did Matt would roll his hips and Jason would feel how hard he was.

'Less clothes.’ Jason panted. 'Need to feel you.’ Matt kissed him really hard making all the air from Jason’s lungs vanish. He sat back up and worked on the button of his jeans while Jason did the same. Through Matt’s boxers Jason could see him straining against the fabric and his fingers trailed the bulge in his pants. Matt rolled his head back and hissed.

'I don’t understand how your hands always feel so fucking good even when you’re not really doing anything.’ He muttered. Jason smirked and let his fingers wander to the waistband and he slowly let one finger dip inside Matt’s pants a little. He gently tugged at the material as if he was going to pull them down but he didn’t. Another finger slid past the waistband followed by another and another until he was grasping the fabric with his hand.

'Shall I take them off?’ Jason spoke low and sexily. Matt exhaled heavily.

'Please?’ He whined a little. Jason stopped his teasing and pulled down Matt’s pants and tossed them across the room before getting out of his own and kicking them off. Matt laid back down and there wasn’t any words describe how incredible it felt for their skin to touch without any damn fabric in the way. It felt so different to how Matt remembered it all those years ago; maybe because they had rushed it before, but he wanted to take his time now. He wanted to immortalise the way Jason’s skin felt and the way it smelt. He wanted to capture what it was like to kiss Jason, to run his fingers through his hair and to kiss every little inch of skin. He wanted to commit it all to memory because he knew this was the last time. His lips made their way back down Jason’s neck, sucking marks into the younger boy’s skin as if to say, even if only for tonight, you’re mine. He kissed over his collarbones and all over his chest. He spent a while sucking on each of Jason’s nipples and teasing his piercing making Jason yelp with pleasure. He placed gentle kisses on the delicate skin on Jason’s stomach and hip bones. He kissed down the inside of his thigh, all the way down his leg and back up the other. He even kissed Jason’s swollen head. The boy beneath him was a mess that was the only word for it. Matt kissed down the length of Jason’s shaft and surprised him when he kept going lower and Jason gasped when he felt Matt’s tongue at his entrance.

'Fuck.’ Jason panted looking down at Matt with large eyes. Matt smiled and stroked his thigh.

'Want to make sure I get to taste every part of you Jay.’ Matt told him as he started trying to replicate what Jason had done to him once. He took his time licking around his hole, making sure he didn’t miss a single part of his skin before taking a deep breath and allowing his tongue to glide in. It was the strangest feeling Matt had ever experience but god did it feel good. And judging by the way Jason was moaning he guessed he was doing something right. He worked his tongue inside the younger boy and used one of his hands to gently stroke Jason’s dick. Jason was making the most incoherent noises that Matt had ever heard. He continued this for a while feeling Jason’s pre come leaking onto his hand. After a while he slid his tongue back out and licked his entrance a little more before sitting up, his hand still around Jason’s shaft.

'Need lube.’ Matt kissed his stomach and Jason nodded dumbly reaching his spindly arm over to the bedside drawer and grabbing the lube and condom. To Jason’s surprise Matt didn’t put the condom on, instead he started slicking up his fingers. Jason just watched in awe.

'I want to do everything with you.’ Matt told him as he pressed his coated fingers outside Jason’s hole. Jason couldn’t argue with that. Matt wasn’t tentative like he thought he’d be, he slid his fingers inside him like he’d been doing this his whole life. Maybe he’d been watching porn or something Jason thought because the way Matt was scissoring him didn’t feel like this was his first time. He was still stroking Jason’s erection and Jason felt so close to the brink but he didn’t want this to end yet.

'Matt I’m gonna come real soon.'

'It’s ok.’ Matt smiled, adding a third finger.

'But I want you Matt, I want you to fuck me.’ Jason begged and it made Matt’s dick throb.

'I will baby, don’t worry.’ He pushed his fingers in as far as he could and Jason groaned, screwing the bed sheets up in his hands. Matt picked up his pace on his strokes, wanting to make this beautiful creature reach his climax. Jason moaned deeper than before and Matt watched as his face contorted and felt his come spilling on to his hand. Matt gently slid his fingers out and fell on top of Jason, not caring that he was laying in his come. He held his face and kissed him passionately. Jason was still panting when Matt sat up and ripped open the condom wrapper. He rolled it on and coated some lube on before taking Jason’s legs and wrapping them around his waist. Jason hadn’t gotten over his orgasm when he felt Matt inch his way inside him. Matt held Jason’s hips and didn’t waste any time as he began to thrust in and out of his tight hole. Jason was writhing in the bed, his hands wandering to grab Matt’s ass.

'You have never looked more beautiful.’ Matt panted as he thrust harder, not being able to control himself. Jason moaned deeply and Matt guessed that meant he found his prostate so he made sure keep that up. It wasn’t long before Matt saw Jason’s cock hardening again and one of Jason’s hands left his ass cheek and wrapped around his own dick. Matt felt sweat gathering at his temples as he picked up his pace further, needing the sweet feeling of release.

'Matt…so fucking good…Matt oh my god Matt…’ Jason babbled. He arched his back, his pumps on his cock becoming lazy. Matt went a little light headed as he felt his balls tightening and he gasped loudly, moaning Jason’s name as he filled the condom with his load. Jason was muttering incoherently, his eyes closed. Matt gently pulled out and surprised Jason by moving his hand and taking his full length in this mouth, feeling it hit the back of his throat. Jason groaned, still muttering things under his breath. The only thing Matt could make out was his own name leaving the younger boys lips every so often. He sucked and he licked desperate to give Jason another orgasm. It surprisingly didn’t take too long before Jason practically screamed and Matt felt his warm come filling his mouth. They were both panting heavily as Matt got rid of the condom and fell down next to Jason. Jason rolled onto his side and laid his head on Matt’s chest.

'I’m really going to fucking miss you.’ He sniffed and Matt felt liquid hitting his chest. Jason was crying. Matt wrapped his arms tightly around the boy and started placing gentle kisses in his messy hair as he own tears started to fall.

'Please don’t think about that right now pumpkin.’ He cooed but he knew it was inevitable.

'It’s not fair Matt, nothing is fucking fair.’ Jason sobbed, burying his head into Matt. Matt’s heart physically ached.

'I know sweetie, I know.’ Matt bit his lip.

'I’m never going to stop loving you, just know that Matt.’ Jason whispered sniffing heavily. Matt kissed his hair again and stroked his back.

'Just say the word Jason. Tell me not to go through with it tomorrow.'

'No.’ Jason sniffed. 'I still can’t forgive you.’ He lied.

'Ok.’ Matt squeezed him tightly. 'I swear I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.'

'That’s not really much of a comfort but thank you.’ Jason sniffed again. They fell into silence after that. They were both exhausted from their orgasms but they couldn’t sleep. Tomorrow Matt was going to marry Courtney. Tomorrow would be the last time Jason and Matt would ever see each other. It was finally over. Six years’ worth of feelings, of words unspoken and hidden secrets. It was over. This was the end. And nothing was ever going to be the same again.

—————————————–

Do I wanna know, if this feeling flows both ways? Sad to see you go, was sort of hoping that you’d stay. Baby we both know, that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day. Crawling back to you.

#pearlet #violet chachki #pearl liaison #courtney act #angst #smut #scarlet #rpdr fanfiction #straightjacket feeling #m/m au

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