#I genuinely don’t know what this result will be useful for but you’re welcome if anyone does indeed use it for what ever reason

[yumemiruuuu]

Now that I’ve read the entirety of TGCF, here is the result of my grand research on:

“The number of times that Xie Lian did not know whether to laugh or cry”

Volume 1

Pages 79, 107, 235, 330, and 367 - 5 times

Volume 2

Pages 28, 80 (81), 206, 256, and 339 - 5/6 times

Volume 3

Pages 321, 330, and 363 - 3 times

Volume 4

pages 212, 290, 298, 311, 317, 338, and 368 - 7 times

Volume 5

Pages 27, 121, 177, 246, and 300 - 5 times

Volume 6

Pages 22, 40, 80, and 119 - 4 times

Volume 7

Pages 33, 81, 124, 134, 151, 164, 171 and 196 - 8 times

Volume 8

Pages 176, 213, 266, 285, 305 and 322 - 6 times

Which makes it a whopping average of 5 times with the Median being 5~5.5, Mode being 5/6 (depending on whether it was 5 or 6 times in volume 2), and the range of 5.

I could be missing a couple more of the instances so if I find anymore at any point in time during my re-read, I’ll come back and add it up and recalculate everything.

[eternalbuckley]

Insecurities. — evan buckley

SUMMARY: Reader gets insecure about their body after meeting Taylor Kelly. Buck is their to comfort them and tell them how beautiful they are.

word count: 1,166

genre: fluff, comfort | gn!reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings: a tiny bit of angst, heavy fluff, reader being insecure about their body, mention about weight lose, mention of comments from bullies, established relationship, use of pet names (babe, darling, my love), english is not my first language — if i forgot something, please let me know!

a/n: Thank you for this request anon, I'M SO SORRY tumblr deleted your request (i didn't know it would happen if you put in in your drafts.. guess i learned something new) but I still hope you'll find this story. I hope you had an amazing day as well! This topic is a very important one for me and I'm super sorry that it's so short but I still like the end result and I truly hope you'll like it. Might write more stories that are about comfort in the future soon! Enjoy reading 🫶

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know! reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and welcomed!

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Why was she so beautiful? Or is? Why would he be with you? He could go back to her immediately. Or even back to anyone else he dated so far or could date.

'She is prettier than you anyway,' you kept asking yourself these questions while you were standing in front of your mirror and looking at your body.

She’s skinnier than you, why would he be with someone like you? Taylor Kelly seemed to be perfect and you thought you were not.

“She’s so gorgeous…” you mumbled to yourself with tears in your eyes.

You slowly started sobbing more and tried to ignore your insecure thoughts but they were too much. You didn’t like your body, being plus size was always something you knew most of society wouldn’t accept. ‘You have to be skinny to get men’s attention’, ‘Be pretty’, ‘Don’t be fat’, ‘If you’re plus size you’re ugly’ and so much more. It was exhausting, especially hearing comments like these in your teenage years. They always made you insecure and you ended up crying in your room many many times. You didn’t know what to do and nothing ever helped. You tried a lot of ways to lose weight and get skinnier but nothing worked. People made fun of you for that and since then you never really got over your insecurities.

How can be the world such a cruel place for something you can’t control?

You didn’t want to let stupid comments from those people ruin your life. But your insecurities came back after you recently met Taylor Kelly, one of your boyfriends, ex-girlfriends.

You knew what she looked like from seeing her on your TV but in reality, she was much more beautiful and skinnier than you. And that made you insecure. You didn’t exactly know what happened between her and Buck and why they broke up. But if you would only go after looks, she would win against you. At least that’s what you kept thinking about yourself.

Buck on the other hand was the happiest person on earth knowing he had you on his side. It has been almost two years since you officially got into a relationship and he has been the happiest since then. He always made sure to compliment you every single day. Whether it was in person or over texts but he never forgot. Not one day. He loved seeing you blushing over his compliments and genuinely being happy about his words. They let you feel better. He just didn’t know how insecure it made you meeting Taylor, not yet.

Buck came up behind you and kissed your cheek. He wrapped his arms around you and eventually noticed the tears in your eyes and your sobs.

“Babe? What’s wrong?” He turned you around and hugged you.

You snuggled up into him and hid your face in his chest without answering his question. You finally let go of your tears and cried in his arms. He whispered sweet nothings to you and rubbed your back to comfort you. He sat down with you on your shared bed and let you cry it all out. Buck always wanted to make sure that you feel loved and comfortable in his presence. But one thing that was really important to him, was to give you always the time you need. It didn’t matter for what reason. If it was just for you to get ready for a date or even giving you all the time to feel comfortable around him. He would always wait for you. Which wasn’t the easiest part for you as well but you trusted Buck with your life. You loved him and how happy he made you. How he made sure that you feel completely safe with him. You admired this side of him the most.

You eventually stopped sobbing after some time and slowly got calm. You still didn’t let go of him but he tried to ask you again about the reason for your current emotional state.

You sighed, your voice was still trembling. “Taylor Kelly…”

He furrowed his eyebrows and tried to look at you but you still hid your face in his chest. “What about her? Did she say something to you? Do I need to talk with her to leave you alone? Did she-“

“No, no,” you slightly chuckled about his protective side and turned your head to look at him. “I just- Have you seen her? She’s gorgeous, Buck. Look at how skinny she is compared to me. I’m just me and she? She’s Taylor Kelly. A beautiful and no plus-sized girl. Like… Why are you with me? You could have her or any other person that is skinnier than I am, Buck.”

Your insecurities were growing again while you were looking at your boyfriend. You saw his admiring eyes but speaking your insecurity out loud was hard. That’s probably a reason you spoke faster than usual. His eyes showed a hint of sadness, about your words. Hearing you talking about yourself in that way hurt him because he didn't want that you are hurting. Buck knew about your past and what your former classmates did and said to you, he thinks it's horrible and you would never deserve that. No one would. Bullying is one of the worst things someone can experience and seeing what this can do to people hurts him the most. Especially seeing his most important person (you) like that. Buck wished he could take away all your pain and turn it into something beautiful.

Buck kissed your forehead, “And I absolutely don’t care about this at all. I have the most beautiful person sitting in my arms right now. And let me tell you, every time I look at this person my heart swells so badly because of all the love my heart holds for that one special person. That is sitting in my arms by the way, in case I didn’t mention that already.” He took a breath. “And I love them with my entire life, no one can compare to them at all. They’re the definition of beauty.”

Tears build up in your eyes again and you kissed his jaw. Buck chuckled and nudged your nose.

“I would never want to be with Taylor or any other person just because they look different than you. I really don’t care about this, my love. I only care about you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the most beautiful and kind person I’ve ever seen and no one can ever compare to you. I love you and nothing can and will ever change that.”

He eventually softly kissed you on the lips which caused a smile on yours.

“I love you too, Buck. And I never want to lose you," your voice was still a bit weak.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. You won’t get rid of me that easily, darling.” He grinned at you and kissed your nose afterwards.

[sovya]

patience

cw: selfship coded, pregnancy, talk of abortion, angst and fluff, mentions of childhood ab*se/trauma/enji todoroki, reader and natsuo are engaged

an: this is straight up a selfship work but ofc anyone is welcome to read/enjoy/whatever sdkjfhj

minors, blank, and ageless blogs dni

wc: 1.2k

You’re sitting there with your underwear around your ankles, elbows resting atop either of your thighs as you hold your head in your hands, patient. Although, patience is beginning to make way for anxiety rather quickly.

You want to glance over at the counter, at the thin white stick sitting there with its stupid pink cap, but you know that won’t quell your worry. You know there’s still two minutes left on the timer you set on your phone, that there’s potentially two minutes left of normalcy in your life. Two minutes left until everything changes.

“Is it done yet?” A concerned voice speaks to you just outside the bathroom door.

“Natsu, it’s only been a minute,” you laugh despite your anxiety churning up a whirlpool in your gut.

There’s a pause before you hear him speak again, “Can I come in?”

As soon as you begin to say “yes”, your fiancé is opening the door and stepping inside.

You give him the slightest nod in acknowledgement as he walks into the room, closing the door behind him as if you two aren’t the only ones in the house.

Natsuo rests against the bathroom wall, his broad shoulders pressed against it before tilting his head back to rest on it too, his eyes on the ceiling.

“Are you okay?” You ask him, rubbing your thumbs up your neck and to your jawbone, absentmindedly trying to soothe yourself.

His head rolls against the wall as he goes to look at you, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

You laugh again, shrugging as you go to sit up straight, “Maybe… but I know you’re just as nervous.”

Natsuo looks at you, then down at the floor. It’s clear he’s thinking, but about what you’re not entirely sure.

You look down too, though not at the floor, but at your hands as they rest on your thighs. Your engagement ring glitters under the bathroom lights and you find yourself twisting your wrist slowly to watch as the diamond glistens in different spots. It’s a pleasant distraction, though it doesn’t last for long.

Your diamond-induced trance is interrupted by the sound of bells jingling from the speakers of your phone, indicating the test has been processed.

Quickly, you snatch your phone off the counter to shut it off, your eyes meeting Natsuo’s again.

“Should we look at it together? Or do you want to see it first?” He asks you quietly, ever the gentleman.

“No, let’s look at it together.” You do your best to give him a reassuring smile, but you’re convinced it came off less genuine than you wanted.

Standing up, you pull your underwear back on and reach for the test, your gaze on Natsuo rather than on the results. He’s looking at you, too.

Wordlessly, you both blink at one another before looking over at the test.

The control strip is bright pink, with one nearly matching it in saturation on the left.

A chill runs through your body as you look over at Natsuo. He looks petrified, almost unmoving save for the swell of his chest as he breathes, deep and slow.

“It’s okay,” you break the silence, Natsuo still looking at the little lines. You feel saliva start to pool in your mouth the way it does before you’re sick.

Again, you can tell he’s thinking, but about what you don’t know.

“It’s okay, Natsuo. I… We don’t have to keep it. I know you’re still finishing up school and we’re not married yet and… it’s okay. We can try again another time, when it’s better for us both.”

You want to keep talking, to keep comforting him, but you feel a hard lump growing in your throat and you don’t want to cry.

“That’s not why I’m scared.”

You tilt your head at him, confused, though your stomach calms a little now that he’s speaking once more.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t care that I’m still in school and I don’t care that we aren’t married yet. People can talk if they want.”

“So what is it then?”

His gaze meets yours again, at last, but his voice is dangerously close to shattering, “What if I turn out like him?”

You swear you can feel your heart sink into your stomach. Not worrying about your potentially dirty hands, you pull him in for a hug, doing your best to envelope his large frame.

“Natsuo, you will never end up like your father.”

You can’t see his face, but you can hear him sniffle. “You don’t know that.”

“Hey, yes I do. I do know that.”

“How?”

You pull away from the hug slightly, holding onto his forearms as you look up at him. His eyes are so watery, a tear falling from one when he blinks.

“I know because you’re very aware of all the terrible things he did to you and your siblings and your mom growing up. I know because you’re kind and gentle and understanding. You would never put a child through what your father did because of what you went through, Natsuo. Because you’re good. Because you’re you, not him.”

Natsuo nods, more tears spilling past his lower lash line, “I’m still so scared.”

“It’s okay,” you nod, giving his arms a light squeeze, “it’s okay to be scared, Natsuo. I’m scared too.”

“Of course you are, you’ve got a microscopic little human in you.” He manages to make himself laugh, just a little.

You laugh too, “I know. I know, it’s very weird to think about.”

“So, what should we do?”

You wet your lips before pursing them, this time it’s you who’s thinking. “I’m not sure. I’ve always wanted kids but I also know we have a lot of time to get to that—and I don’t want to continue with this pregnancy if you don’t want to.”

“That’s the worst part. I would love to have kids and a big family… I’m just so damn scared that I’ll ruin it all.”

“Of course. I totally get why you’re scared. I’m sorry. Your dad ruins everything for you and it really breaks my heart.”

The room is silent again, for much longer this time, but now it’s him who pulls you into his chest, giving you a comforting hug.

You decide to speak, voice muffled by his shirt. “Will you at least come to the appointment with me? When I, uh, get rid of it?”

“Get rid of it?”

“As in get an abortion.”

“No, I know what you meant, silly. I mean that… I didn’t say we should get rid of it.”

You move your head so you can meet his eye, your brows furrowed in confusion and his in concentration.

“I can’t let that asshole dictate how my life is going to go. It was his fault I grew up terrified, but I don’t want to let him keep me terrified. He can’t ruin things for me anymore, especially not this. Not you… not a kid. I won’t let him.”

“So?”

“So,” he starts, picking you up with his arms wrapped around your waist, the test still in one of his hands, “We’ve got a lot to talk about tomorrow morning.”

Giggling, you lean in to give him a kiss, your eyes starting to well up too, “Natsuo, I still need to wash my hands!”

[moose-muffin]

im new here (hiya from the hazbin tag lol) but if you do character + character requests than please PLEASE gimmie a lee!vox with ler!alastor 🙏🙏🙏hear me out... the two are fighting and al (sHocKINglY) wins out, and vox expects to like.. be beaten into the ground as a result, but nope!! he gets tickled!!! to tears!!!! smthn smthn he wasnt smilin and, yk, youre never fully dressed w/o a smile!!!

/nf to do tho ty for reading!!! <3<3

OMG OMG HELLO WELCOME I HOPE YOURE DOING GOOD YIPPEE

SO FUN FACT I WAS VERY LIKE NEUTRAL TO RADIOSTATIC BUT TONIGHT HAS BEEN (HAHAH GET IT) AN ADVENTURE AND THIS ROAD HAS BEEN SUCH A BLAST <3 THOSE TWO FUCKERS ARE SO INSTIGATIVE ITS CRAZY.

I KNOWWWW THIS AS A FIC WOULD GO C R A Z Y!!!!! IDK IF ANYONE HERE WRITE FOR VOX AND ALASTOR AND PERHAPS DOES COMMISSIONS BUT I WILL PAY!!!! PLEASE HIT ME UP OR ILL PROBABLY GO TAKE A PEAK FOR MYSELF TMR <3 AS LONG AS THATS OK ANON. (I WILL ABSOLUTELY LET IT BE POSTED AS LONG AS THE AUTHOR IS OK WITH IT WHICH USUALLY THEY ARE!!!!) IM GONNA TAKE SOME CREATIVE LIBERTIES AS I TYPICALLY DO HEADCANONS!

IM NOT USUALLY A CHARACTER + CHARACTER GIRLY SO BEAR WITH ME BUT I WILL DO MY VERY BEST!!!! HOPEFULLY I CAN DO THIS JUSTICE! IT WILL BE RANDOM HCS THAT ARE UNRELATED TOO. MY BRAIN IS A MESSY PLACE HWBSHWDBD

OK SO LIKE I KINDA MENTIONED, THEY BOTH LOOOOVE TO JUST GET UNDER PEOPLES SKIN. LOVE IT!!! ESPECIALLY ALASTOR. HES SUCH AN ASS (affectionate)

I’D EVEN SAY HE’S KIND OF AN INSTIGATIVE LER???? BRO IS DOING EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO GET TO TICKLE VOX LIKEEE IDK IF THAT EVEN MAKES SENSE BUT I KNOW ITS TRUE. HE WILL CASUALLY WIGGLE HIS FINGERS IN CONVERSATION, TWEAK HIS RIBS FROM BEHIND, LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT. WELL THEYRE NOT LITTLE. ESPECIALLY NOT TO VOX WHO IS SO FLUSTERED BY IT… ITS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING

BUT! VOX HAS STARTED TO FIGURE IT OUT. AS HE IS ALSO ONE WHO LOVEEES TO GET UNDER SKIN, HE DECIDES HE’LL DO EVERYTHING TO TRIGGER A LER MOOD IN ALASTOR. IF HE CAN TELL HE ALREADY HAS ONE, HE FINDS WAYS TO SUBTLY (WE ALL KNOW HE ISNT SUBTLE THOUGH) LEAVE A SPOT UNPROTECTED. BUT ALASTOR DOESNT WANT TO GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION!!! HE TRIES SO HARD TO NOT GIVE IN TO VOX BC HE “WANTED TO BE THE ONE IN CONTROL” AND NOW HE ISNT AND HES #PISSED

ALSO VOX ABSOLUTELY IS HORRIFIED OF VULNERABILITY. YET HE IS ABLE TO MOVE PAST IT WITH ALASTOR HERE. SOMEHOW HE ISNT AS WORRIED ANYMORE. MAYBE HE KNOWS ALASTOR WILL REACT. HE LOVES THAT SO VERY MUCH.

AS FOR THE SPECIFIC PROMPT, OH THAT IS SO REAL!!!! ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

I DONT WRITE GOOD ROMANCE BUT LIKE UGH IMAGINE IT NOW. Alastor definitely just got himself to the V’s tower and was planning on fucking with Vox only to see he had already been kinda pissed off. Alastor wouldn’t be as satisfied if he knew he didn’t cause the frustration. He realized he could just stir the pot again. Problem solved, and what better way to solve it than using his weakness against him.. being tickled.

I’m being a little silly but genuinely Vox is so ticklish. Like most ticklish person in hell would go to him if it were an official title. That’s what I’m thinking. That being said, Alastor also knows how quickly he could get him to crumble… but wouldn’t it be more fun to take it slow.

Vox notices his presence almost immediately. He tried to ignore it as he feels his face get warm. He can’t fuck this up. He takes a deep breath and turns around. “Why hello, Alastor! What brings you to our building this evening?” He said in a semi newcaster voice. He wasn’t ready to drop the act

“Well Vox, I came here for a reason of my own but then I walked by your office and you looked so sad!” He began to walk closer to Vox. “You know, t they say you’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

Vox let out a laugh that was quite clearly untruthful. “Yes Alastor I am aware! I was alone in here and so I figured I’d just save up some energy. I’m sure you understand.”

“Quite frankly I don’t,” Alastor paused, “I think maybe I could help you get that smile back.”

Vox didn’t even have to think. He knew Alastor meant he was going to tickle him. You could ask Velvette. She’s seen those two in tickle fights that lasted for DAYS. she knows what they’re capable of, or more so what Alastor is capable of.

Vox puts up a fight for maybe a couple seconds but he just loves tickles more than he can play pretend that he doesn’t <3

It works out well for them both, Alastor gets to fuck around with Vox and well, Vox gets his shit rocked!!! And he loves that more than a lot of things.

OK IM GONNA CUT IT OFF HERE BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COME BACK!!!! IM ALWAYS DOWN TO HEAR WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING!! MAYBE ID DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN OR LIKE ADD ONTO THIS!!! BUT I AM JUST ALL OVER THE PLACE CURRENTLY HEHE. I HOPE THESE ARE ENJOYABLE!!! (LOWKEY I WANNA ADD MORE TO THISSSS MAYBE TMR MAYBE TMR WE’LL SEE)

apologies if anything is ooc, i just do this for funsies <3

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASKK

[lightlycareless]

okay i have a headcanon but what if y/n has this like very new lip balm that has like a really good fragrance and taste to it and naoya is like "what did u put on ur lips" when they kissed

then goes on and buy like 20 of them so she would never run out of it 🏃‍♀️

and naoya gets comments abt how his lips look fuller and hydrated but its just the result of them kissing nonstop because of the lip balm-

Hello anon!!!!!

Now THIS is something I had lots of fun writing hhahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahha specially after that dream I got with the lipstick... everything is alingning....

I genuinely believe Naoya would obsess over something like this—like, he's intoxicated in your scent, now add something sweet/tasty? He's an addict :)

Anyways, I won't say much hehe I hope you enjoy the little drabble I wrote:

warnings: tiniest mentions/implications of nsfw (smut, you know, the deed) and making out. But outside of that, nothing.

Happy reading!

Naoya would first notice something glossy over your lips when meeting up with you for breakfast.

He doesn’t think much of it, except that it looks good, and that it made your lips look even more kissable.

Which obviously, he doesn’t hold back from doing whenever possible, he literally must kiss you once every 5 minutes or he’ll die.

When Naoya eventually kisses you goodbye, off to some other boring mission he needs to do, it’s when he spots the slightest difference from your always welcoming warm and soft lips.

Now, don’t get me wrong, those things were still there much to his heart’s delight, however, a new lingering sweetness would have him dumbfounded for a moment, carefully analyzing this discovery as he licks it up, wondering…

“Did you eat strawberries right now?” You’re no stranger to eating anything sweet that crosses your sight; but that would not be the case—In fact, you’re glad that he noticed, a bright grin quickly forming on your lips as you respond.

“Nope! It’s my new lip balm.” You explain, he raises an eyebrow.

“Lip balm?” Naoya repeats slowly.

“Well actually, a lip balm and an exfoliator! I found them the other day at the mall, that time I went with my staff, remember?” He nods “I was surprised that things like these existed for lips! So, I decided to give it a chance, and I gotta say, my lips definitely feel softer—look!”

You purse your lips into a pout which Naoya doesn’t hesitate to touch with his own lips, pecking them with a gentle kiss—rightfully amused when discovering that you were telling the truth.

“So? What do you think?” you smile, but Naoya doesn’t say anything, opting to give you a kiss instead… and another, and another, as if trying to convince himself he wasn’t making things up.

And you happily obliged initially, taking in all his gestures and returning them too, until you suddenly remembered he was supposed to be on his way to work, unless he wanted to be late!—and all because you wanted to show off your new lip balm, which he also effectively removed by now thanks to his kisses!

“Naoya!” You whine, and your tone was all he needed to understand what you were referring to.

“Just wanted to be sure of the flavor” Naoya smirks. “Didn’t catch it the first time.”

“But you guessed right the first time!!” you cry back, and he gives out a light chuckle before kissing you once more. You pout. “…well, at least one of us is getting their lips hydrated…”

“Don’t be angry, my love, I’ll buy you all the lip balms that you want if that’s the issue.” Naoya promises, pecking your lips one last time before departing off to his next mission.

Even when he had the means to do so (as well as past experiences), you wholeheartedly didn’t expect Naoya to keep his word regarding your lip balms; and you didn’t really care much for it either since you were still trying out this new thing—however, as always, you seemed to have underestimated your husband’s dedication and his fixations, for he quickly became an avid fan of your flavored balms, first seen on the new stick or scrub that would “mysteriously” appear on your vanity just before the other one ended…

Or by the way he’d grab your lips hostage with his, demonstrating both his well-known adoration for you, and newfound curiosity for the new flavor of the moment that lingered on them.

“Na—Naoya…”  you’d whimper, or attempt to through his incessant kissing, lips already numb at that point, as he cages you with his arms, keeping you underneath him and against the futon. “St—Stop…”

“What? I’m just trying to see if your new balm is working…” he murmurs, with eyelids halfway open and undeniably drunk in your scent and taste, desire is the only present feeling in his actions. “What is it… cherry?”

“I… I don’t know…” you blushed—but even when complaining about the breathless, heated situation he was putting you through, your lips still searched for his.

“I think so… but it doesn’t matter, we still have lots of flavors to go through…” he purrs before leaning down and closing the gap between the two with another kiss, tongue pushing past your lips and onto your mouth, diving deeper into the intoxicating combination of your flavor alongside the lip balm of the day, the newest sensation he didn’t know he needed until finally trying it.

“What will my little mochi taste like today?” Naoya teases you from over the futon as you apply lip balm onto your lips, just as you diligently did every morning.

Ever since your lips became softer thanks to your new routine, he proclaims you are now living up to that nickname, being the only one he calls you nowadays.

Not that you minded, it was certainly amongst the sweeter of his selection, nonetheless it still flustered you.

“It’s a secret.” You respond. By now Naoya has gotten you a thousand flavors, ones you weren’t even aware they could be used as balms—but given his craving to try them all out (from you), you determined to put on a different one every day just to keep him on his toes.

“Can I at least have a sneak peek?” he smirks. You giggle, shaking your head.

“Nope! Until I come back maybe.” Naoya scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I won’t be away for long, my love, just gotta pick up some things from the store. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Don’t know why you don’t ask the servants to do it…” he says. “We could be spending the morning in bed instead.”

“Because I like to go out once in a while.” You respond. “Besides, this is one of your days off, I want you to rest.”

“Why? Think I won’t be able to with you around?”

You give him a look that asks him if he’s being serious right now.

“Alright, you have a point there, mochi. Just don’t take long.”

After finishing putting on your lip balm and fixing the last details of your makeup, you begin to make way towards him, intending to bid your farewells by kissing his cheek…

Before he outsmarts you by swiftly grabbing you by the arm, pulling you down to him, careful so as to not hurt you, but sternly enough to hold you against him, wrapping his arms around you as he looks down to you, a smirk on his face.

“Naoya!” you whine, attempting to free himself from his grasp, he chuckles. “I gotta go! My staff is waiting for me!”

“Give me a kiss.” Your husband orders. “Or I won’t let you go.”

Did you really think you’d be able to hold him off from trying today’s flavor?

Luckily for him, you love him so much that you easily indulge him without much insistence, giving him a quick, soft kiss at first… until Naoya’s greediness pushes him a step further, converting your soft gestures into a more heated endeavor, his tongue quickly savoring your mouth and your balm of choice—honey, coincidentally his favorite—by gently sucking and biting on your lips, enjoying the treat his wife willingly prepared for him, until the two eventually become breathless, only pulling away when they physically couldn’t continue together.

“You’re going to ruin my make up…” You’re the first to speak, moving your face to the side in efforts to stop him from ravaging you again—how you hated being the voice of reason.

“Alright, alright…” he breathes, kissing your cheek instead. “I guess I can wait for later tonight.”

“You’re insatiable…” you hypocritically murmur, giving him one last kiss before pushing yourself up from the futon, patting away any creases on your dress, turning around to the door soon after…

Only to sharply tense up when Naoya’s hand harshly lands on your ass, a smack that resonated inside the room, making your cheeks even hotter as you quickly aim to confront him.

“Naoya!”

But he only responds to your scolding with a laugh, ignoring your flustered reaction as he goes back onto the futon, attempting to make the best of his day off by resting, until you come back of course.

Because even if he had other things to tend to, it didn’t mean you were free of his clutches.

Naoya was known to be very diligent when it came to his appearance: well-kept and clean were some of the words most associated with him. And depending on who you asked, unconventional too.

But even then, there was no denying that he looked good, liked looking good, and was not afraid to do what he wanted to continue being perceived like that.

However, even when knowledgeable of this aspect of his… something did not match one day.

It was like he had done something to his appearance, different from the norm, yet no one managed to pinpoint what it was. Eventually spurting rumors about it, whispers, all from people trying to figure out what was odd from Naoya-sama’s face, without having to ask him directly…

Until a member of his personal staff was able to notice it. And when he did, he couldn’t believe it, perhaps didn’t want to, never thinking Naoya would be that kind of person, even with his vanity.

But alas, curiosity took ahold of the poor man, and with all embarrassment and courage in the world, decides to ask him.

“Naoya-sama, pardon my intrusion, but I must know.”

Naoya doesn’t respond, never does, really. He doesn’t like interacting with those below him, after all…

The man takes it as his cue to continue.

“Um… well, I… wished to know if you… put something…. On… Your… lips?” the man squeaks out the last part, anyone else would’ve thought he didn’t say anything eligible.

But for an irritated Naoya, with senses heightened thanks to that same frustration, it was nothing but clear.

“What?” he asks, with a tone that immediately makes his servant tense up.

“No, I mean—They look good!” He rushes to explain, thinking his question had been misinterpreted into something negative. “Hydrated… and all that. They seem healthy!”

“Don’t you have anything better to do than stare at my lips?” Naoya frowns, the room seems to start spinning around the man.

“No! I mean—yes, I do!” He cries, wishing nothing but the earth to open and swallow him whole, alongside his shame, humiliation, and blatant stupidity for having thought bringing up this topic was a smart career move! What was he even thinking? Oh, now he’s going to get fired! “I’m—I’m sorry.”

“Get out of my sight.” Is all that your husband says, not that he needed to do much after that; he didn’t even get a chance to threaten him before the man was already out of the room and far away, freeing Naoya of his senseless idiocies and allowing him to continue enjoying his meal in peace.

Yet, even when the interaction between the two was nothing less than undesirable, Naoya couldn’t stop himself from chuckling, finding his observation to be particularly accurate, hoping that you’d come back soon to continue his “treatment” and wondering where else it could also work…

bigasspervert... lol also I think Naoya might've thought his staff member had the hots for him, omg 😂 I mean what else could he think from that???? hhahahahahah

Anyways, I want to write that lipstick story. Imma do it. :) Hopefully soon, after everything else...

Thank you so much for sending in this ask! It was a joy to write for sure ❤️❤️❤️take care and hope to see you soon. ❤️

[cat3ch1sm]

⚰️~ hello, everyone! welcome back to another post. i finally finished my masterlist, so now it will be updated as i write and upload new works. see my pinned post to find the masterlist <33 anyway, here are some nsfw jjk headcanons. ive done these before, with death note and hxh, and they can be found in the masterlist! i will probably do this for all the fandoms i write for lmao 💚 enjoy, ily <33

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ nsfw ahead, fem!reader, eating out

𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐞𝐚𝐭 😺? 𝐟𝐭. 𝐣𝐮𝐣𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐤𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞! 𝐟𝐭. (aged up!) 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢, 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐚, 𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢, 𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢

𝐲𝐮𝐣𝐢 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢

some people are weird about eating 😺, but not itadori. he’ll do whatever you want to make you feel good. he might not really know what he’s doing at first, but a nudge in the right direction and he’s got it- just tell him where it feels best when he runs his tongue over your sex and itadori will never forget. he’s really eager with it, too, kinda like a puppy tbh with his tongue flicking up and down your clit. (a/n-bitch what the fuck kinda comparison is that stop😭😭) itadori asks constantly “does this feel good?” “does that feel good?” and he’ll just keep going like that even when he’s obviously doing well and you can’t even get a word out to answer him. he’s really good at making you finish, not too fast and not too slow, and he’ll swallow whatever comes out of you.

𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐢

nobara, believe it or not, is a tiny bit shy about being eaten out or eating someone else out. still, she’s not selfish, so nobara will definitely eat you out if you really want her to. she might start out a bit tentative. she isn’t really the “does this feel good?” type like itadori, but she does pay attention to your body language, like where she kisses you that makes your breath hitch or where she licks that makes your moans louder. when nobara gets the hang of it, though, she kinda gets cocky, but not in a genuinely mean way. she’s more like a soft dominant type, like “that feel good, huh, baby?” or “you like when i do this, don’t you?” AGH i wish this girl was real im literally so weak for her.

𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨

suspiciously enough, he’s very good at it (what girl taught u this nigga?🤨) the only thing is he can be a tiny bit timid, so he’s a little slow to make you cum. as a result, though, megumi’s great at edging, however unintentionally. he can stall an orgasm for just long enough that it feels twice as amazing when you finally come. he is also big on foreplay, and makes you wait until he actually puts his mouth on you. expect lots of light thigh kisses and breathplay before megumi actually eats you out. he also likes to use his fingers on you simultaneously, except he goes agonizingly slowly on purpose just to listen to your needy whimpers. he’s honesty just as cocky as someone like gojo would be doing this, just in a much quieter way, but you can see it in his eyes.

𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢

he eats your 😺 mainly for his own pleasure. because of this, he likes to prolong the time before you come as much as possible- toge’s very big on edging. obviously he can’t dirty talk, but his actions speak for themselves. he kisses you a lot, both during and after eating you out as praise. when you grind your hips into his tongue, toge squeezes your thighs to let you know you’re doing a good job. he also does not care about wiping his mouth off after you cum in his mouth before kissing you- he loves hearing the tiny whimpers you emit when you taste yourself on his lips.

𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐳𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧

i kinda hc that maki is wlw anyway (please don’t kill me), so she’s not new to eating 😺. at the same time, though, that means not every girl likes the same things, so she’s very attentive to how your body reacts and asks every now and then if what she’s doing feels good. maki is big on edging and overstimulation- she won’t let you come for the longest time and make you beg for it and then immediately after make you come until you physically can’t anymore. also soft dom energy- “you’re doing so well, pretty girl” or “come on, beautiful, i know you can come just one more time for me, okay?” although maki does overstimulate you, she isn’t mean about it, and will definitely periodically make sure she isn’t doing too much. she’s also the type who lets out these low, barely audible moans when she’s eating you out- that’s how much she enjoys making you feel good.

[neverchecking]

hello again it’s me, 🐝 anon!

the triplets have me in a chokehold KSKABS i haven’t been able to stop thinking about them and today i bring you: triplets with a plus size! Reader

now i’m sure they would be obsessed with love their dear Reader no matter what they look like but i’m gonna project a little and go with a Reader who has some chub.

let’s say plus size! Reader is feeling self conscious about their body for whatever reason, maybe their clothes aren’t fitting the right way or it’s just a bad day. the triplets won’t stand for their God(dess) feeling anything less than absolutely divine. they’re quick to comfort and reassure their lovely in their own ways. i imagine Cal is better with written words than speaking, so he leaves little notes with genuine and heartfelt compliments and reminders that you’re perfect just the way you are. Wild cooks your favorite foods while listing all the ways he loves you, both physically and for your personality. if you don’t want him to cook you anything, that’s ok! he’ll have a fun little photoshoot session to help your self esteem. and Sage will do anything you ask him to. really any of them will but Sage is just more upfront and shameless about it. a trip along the coast to take your mind off of your thoughts? done. a new outfit tailored to show off all your favorite features? he’s threatening persuading Cece to make you something unique. just want to spend some time together? you don’t even have to ask.

but if the reason you’re feeling bad about yourself is because of someone else? they’re all putting any differences aside to track down and teach that person a lesson. no one can make you doubt your absolute perfection and drag your mind into a downward spiral and get away with it.

sorry for the long ask this has been on my mind the whole day 😅

🐝anon! Welcome back! And don't worry about the long ask, I love those!

The triplets have us all in a chokehold at this point I swear-

As someone whos on the plusser side of mid-sized, this resonates with me deeply and I love all of this!

They absolutely love you no matter what, but for the sake of argument, let's say that not only do they love it, but they maybe secretly add to it. Meals with a little more calories than you would expect, or more desserts than normal. Snacks like candied apples or honeyed fruit. All of it designed to ensure their God(Dess) remains a perfect, healthy weight.

Cal definitely leaves love notes everywhere he goes because he's so used to not speaking. When he spoke, he was punished. So while he has gotten better, it is a work in progress. .

Wild is definitely trying to cook all sorts of snacks and goodies, sneaking them to you while Sage is distracted with something. And you bet he's totally down for a photoshoot! Whether you know about it or not is a different topic-

And Sage. Our toxic little soaked rat. He is way more upfront with being like 'What do you need from me? A solution or comfort?' because he has both. But his favorite method of convincing you you are perfect just the way you are?

Pinning you in front of his mirror, and reminding you that you are his. And anyone who talks shit about whats his gets punished. He doesn't have anything that isn't of the highest quality, and that includes partners. Absolutely shattering your self-doubt and mental stability, only to reform it with his bare hands roaming your body and painting your skin a delicious hue of red.

You bet that if it's because of someone they are tracking them down, carving out their tongue and feeding it to them. It's one of the few times they'll work together, and you know when it happens, the results are absolutely devastating.

Maybe they'll have to prove it when it comes to dear Reader as well. Prove that nothing will get between them and their God(dess).

[stardusksx]

BECAUSE OF YOU, spencer reid x named!oc

— part three.

( summary! ) Spencer & Lydia where best friends, until they weren’t. Having to see each other at work everyday was certainly an exercise in professionalism, but when Reid is arrested in Mexico they can no longer ignore each other.

( warnings! ) Canon typical violence, discussions of drug use, best friends to lovers with a whole load of angst in the middle, dysfunctional family dynamics, talks of past neglect, future mentions of sex/smut, let me know if I missed anything! )

Virginia, 2006.

LYDIA’S PAPER CUP BURNED THE PALMS OF HER HANDS, A SLIGHTLY WELCOMED SENSATION AGAINST THE COLD THAT WAS NUMBING HER FINGERTIPS. The actual coffee itself was only lukewarm at best now— a result of her stupid alarm clock once again running out of batteries and failing to wake her up. Spencer knocking on her door was what had finally brought her out of her slumber, and when she’d answered it with a bed head that clearly said she wasn’t work ready, he’d merely offered her an amused smile and told her to meet him outside the station while he got the drinks. A saint, really. 

She’d only known him about half a year now, the same amount of time she’d been at the BAU, and he'd been more than a life saver when it came to making her feel welcome. After his initial reservations, of course. It had taken her a moment to break past his introversion, but once she’d gotten him talking about War and Peace (which she had read, thank you very much) he hadn’t stopped since.

“Busy today.” He observed, throwing the words over his shoulder as they weaved through the morning rush hour of the tube station. There wasn’t enough room to walk side by side just yet, but he was carrying on their conversation anyway. 

Lydia snorted slightly, “You think it’s busy everyday.” 

“It is busy everyday.” He craned his neck to look at her, subsequently bumping into someone and stuttering an apology. She tried to hide her amusement. 

“Careful, it’s busy.” She teased, falling into step besides him as they started up the stairs. 

He sent her a halfhearted glare, which lived on his features for all of two seconds before he launched into the statistics of Virginia’s population and their work shift patterns. Even after months of being around him everyday, she still wasn’t over the awe of just how much information was packed into his head. They were halfway up the steps when a boy stopped them— more Spencer than her, because he said his name more like a fact than a question; “You’re Dr.Reid.” 

He didn’t look like he could be older than twenty, hands gripping the rucksack on his shoulder like a lifeline. He was timid, a soft spoken voice and flickering eyes. 

Spencer looked confused, “Do I… know you?” 

“N-no, I just know what you do.” 

Spencer’s brows furrowed further and, as he slowly dragged out an “okay?” while turning to leave, Lydia almost snorted at his awkward dismissal. Anyone else would question further, but he looked like he wanted to get out of the situation as fast as possible. The boy persisted, however, “Look, I saw you at George Town afew weeks ago, you gave a lecture on sexual sadism.” 

That seemed to ease Spencer, who gained a pleased expression at the mention of his academics. He nodded his head, giving a self-deprecating smile, “I’m not much of a public speaker.” 

“I-I don’t know, you seemed cool.” The boy's gaze flickered between him and the floor, and Lydia smiled quietly at the display. She knew validation like this meant a lot to Spencer. 

“You look a little young to go to George Town.” He said, no longer in a rush to get away. 

“I’m a junior at northwest high school.” 

“And you just go to lectures on anger exhortation for fun?” He said it half in jest, half in genuine approval. 

“I don’t have a lot of friends.” 

The expression on Spencer’s face once again threatened to elicit a laugh from Lydia. He asked, “So, you're interested in profiling?” 

“Yeah, I mean, I read a lot, true crime— like graphic novels, mostly. They’re all on, like, whether or not evil exists, nature vs. nurture. So I figured it’d be smart to hear it from an expert… So you said a lot of them kill prostitutes?” 

Lydia looked up from where she’d been studying her coffee cup in a feigned attempt to give them privacy. That was an oddly specific question. 

Spencer nodded, “Number one serial killer target, actually.” 

“Is that for sex or because they think they’re dirty and need to be punished?” His eye contact with Spencer lingered for a few more seconds, as if he was attempting to gauge the man's reaction to his words. Like a child who had stolen a cookie from the jar trying to see if their parents had picked up on it. 

A cold feeling washed over her, as if someone had injected shards of ice into her bloodstream. There was innocent curiosity, and then there was… well, the non-innocent kind. She could see Spencer register it too, because instead of responding he asked a question of his own, “Were you waiting here for me?” 

“What would it mean if they were stabbing someone and cutting off their hair?” 

Deflection. Lydia began to take mental notes— the colour of his hair, the clothes he was wearing, how dark circles rimmed his eyes. The boy was shifting on his feet, a clear sign of how anxious he was. Lydia couldn’t tell if it was because of the conversation or something else. 

She was willing to bet it was something else. 

“I’ve… I’ve never heard of a case like that,” Spencer was quick on his feet, somehow managing to shove aside his own anxiety about who was possibly standing before them, “Do you want to come to the BAU with me, maybe talk to some of my other team members?” 

He posed it as an innocent question, one academic merely helping out another. Lydia saw his true intention, and it seemed like the boy did too. He began to head back down the stairs, “I’ve got to get to school.” 

“Give me your name and your number and I’ll call you—” Spencer began to follow him, but he’d already disappeared into the crowd. He glanced at her helplessly, and she wordlessly nodded, a silent agreement to get to the BAU as quickly as possible. 

Spencer had tried to hastily sketch the boy, but after a minute of watching him struggle to get the eyes right Lydia had taken over. She’d done a sketch artist class for extra credit in college— her childhood interest in drawing making it an easy way to gain extra points. As they stepped off the elevator, JJ offered them a greeting which went unacknowledged. He questioned, “Who’s your contact in the DC police?”

“Victor Barnes,” She followed behind them, “Why, do you need me to speak to him?” 

Spencer didn’t respond, merely picked up the phone and asked for the man JJ had mentioned. Gideon walked towards them, noting their tense expressions. As Spencer spoke on the phone, she offered up a brief explanation, “This kid stopped Reid on our way to work, asking weird questions about the murder of prostitutes— specifically ones who were stabbed and had their hair cut.” 

Just as she finished explaining, Spencer asked if there were any recent murders matching that M.O. He was quiet for a moment before he said, “When was the most recent victim?” 

Dread filled her, any doubt that the boy at the station was just a teenager with slightly gruesome interests had now vanished. He finished up the phone call, “I’ll explain when I see you, I’ll meet you in a half hour.” 

“What’s going on?” Gideon’s arms folded over his dark dress shirt, his neutral voice veiling any concern. 

“I think we may have a serial killer,” He answered, brows furrowed, “And I think I just let him get away.” 

⭈

After a brief trip with Morgan and Emily to speak with some possible witnesses, afew girls managed to identify the sketch with someone they’d seen out a few times. Allegedly, the boy they’d seen at the station had been hanging around the streets but never actually engaged in any sexual activity with the prostitutes himself. He’d just watch, they’d said. 

In a way, she thought that it perhaps made him seem even more likely to have committed the crimes. After all, there wouldn’t be much gratification in just watching— there had to be some sort of act. Some sort of purpose behind going out of his way to observe sex workers. If he wasn’t engaging in actual sex with them, it could indicate a level of disgust, in turn, motivating the violence to kill. Yet, he was a teenaged boy, so they also couldn’t rule out the simple possibility that he was exploring his sexual desires through observation. 

Either way, the mere confirmation he’d been in the area of the killings wasn’t enough to declare him guilty, and it also hadn’t brought them much closer to uncovering his identity. When she’d arrived back at the BAU, she’d found Spencer and Garcia in her bat cave attempting to figure out that information. 

“This is impossible.” Spencer gave an exasperated sigh, and Lydia raised a brow at his clear display of frustration that normally wasn’t so easy to draw out. 

Garcia scoffed, “Says you.” 

“There’s nothing in the juvenile offender records.” He defended, his voice cracking slightly. 

“So you think like a high school kid.” 

He refuted, “I was twelve and I hadn’t been through puberty in high school.” 

“Okay,” Garcia blinked, “Reset. We think like a highschool student, you think like a profiler.” 

Lydia admitted slightly sheepishly, “I went to a private school from fourth grade to graduation, I’m not exactly the picture of an average highschool experience, either.” 

“Reset the reset, I think like a highschool student, you guys think like the profilers.” She waved a hand, “He said he was a junior, the first rule when speaking to an authority figure, lie and say you’re older. He’s probably… a sophomore.” 

Lydia nodded— she tended to stick to the rules in school, but the urge to break them had certainly crossed her mind more than once. Her obsession with proving herself grades wise had left little time for things like lying to authority figures, but she had a dorm mate who would tell her millions of stories about doing just that. 

“Okay…” Spencer said contemplatively, “He was wearing a coat that was lambs wool but it didn’t look vintage, it looked brand new, like it had been tailored to him. Which means money… which means….” 

“Private school,” Lydia said dryly, “Guess I’m back on the side of tapping into his mindset.” 

She placed a hand on the back of Garcia’s chair, thinking for a moment. She remembers an incident of meeting one of her Grandmother’s friend’s grandson’s— he’d been talking about the school he went to which was in the same state, but a different district. She hadn’t heard of it before. “He said he went to northwest high, it’s unlikely he’d know the name of a highschool if he didn’t at least attend another one close to the area of it.” 

Spencer nodded, “Pull up the district for northwest high, see if there are any private schools.” 

Gracia typed for a second before nodding, “Three.” 

They needed to narrow it down further. Spencer said, “What about ones that offer electives at George Town?” 

“One; Morton School.” 

He nodded, pleased, “Pull up the Sophomore class.” 

An array of teenage faces were displayed on the screen, and it only took a few moments of scrolling before a familiar one popped up, “Wait, wait. Stop.” 

Spencer pointed to a boy in the middle, and Garcia brought up his personal information, “Nathan Harris.” 

Spencer's mouth hung open like he couldn’t quite believe it, “We got him.” 

She offered him a relieved smile, “Let’s go tell Gideon.” 

⭈

Lydia stayed behind as a small team was sent out to bring Nathan in, and upon Gideon’s request, she was preparing to sit in on his psychological interview. 

“Is it a good idea? For me to be in there?” Lydia said apprehensively, “I just think he’d be far more comfortable without a woman present, I don’t think we’ll get much from him otherwise.” 

He gave her a knowing look, “Trust me on this. Plus, I need you to monitor his micro expression while I focus on talking to him. You might pick up on something I miss.”  

Lydia sent him a one of reluctant agreement, and he pushed open the door into the office Nathan was waiting in. There was already a bearded man in the corner, watching silently as the younger boy's eyes darted between him and the floor. His gaze flickered up to her and Gideon, and his anxiousness seemed to increase. 

“My names Gideon, this is agent Baylor,” He gestured to her as they took their seats, and she offered up a small smile to placate his nerves. It didn’t seem to work— which she anticipated. 

“You were with Dr.Reid at the station,” He said, “You’re friends?” 

Lydia nodded, “We are.” 

“So, he must trust you then?” 

She momentarily wondered what it was about Spencer that Nathan gravitated towards— yes, they were both timid in nature and appeared to have some shared academic interests, but Spencer clearly hadn’t shared in his darker fantasies. Why did he go to Spencer, specifically, for help? “I think he does,” She answered honestly, knowing he’d really been looking for the assurance that he could trust her too. It seemed to be enough to calm the boy slightly. “You’re okay with answering some questions for us?” 

He nodded, ducking into himself slightly. He couldn’t hold her gaze for longer than a few seconds at a time, and she ruled it out as an indicator of lying— it seemed to simply be a part of his mannerisms. Perhaps nervousness, too, but that was natural for any form of questioning whether guilty or not.  

“So, I don’t wet the bed or start fires…” 

Gideon’s mouth lifted up at the side humorously, “I see you’ve read Dr.Harris warning signs of psychopathy.” 

“Yeah… is that wrong?” 

“No, it’s healthy. You’re intellectually curious, you want to understand how you’re feeling.” Gideon’s voice was calming, assuring, “Tell me what worries you.” 

“Just been, um, thinking about stuff.” 

“About hurting women?” 

His eyes briefly flickered to Lydia, and he looked more uncomfortable with her now— like he’d forgotten about her connection to Spencer and she was back to being a complete stranger he couldn’t seem to humanise. Yet, strangely, he didn’t look like he held resentment towards her. More like shame. He looked back to Gideon as he admitted, “Yeah.” 

“Have you ever hurt anyone?” 

He glanced upwards, like he was recalling a memory, “I killed a bird once. I know that’s on the list, it’s one of the signs.” 

Gideon showed no sign of disgust, “Why did you kill the bird?” 

“Cause I was sad.” 

“How’d you feel afterwards?” 

His brows were woven, like he was fighting against it, “Better.” 

“Why?” 

He seems to struggle internally, “I don’t know. Cause it was dead and I was still alive.” 

Gideon nodded, “Is that why you want to hurt women? To feel better?” 

“I don’t know...” He whispered. 

“Have you ever seen a woman naked?” 

Lydia looked down at her notebook, making it look like she wasn’t paying too much attention to the conversation so that he felt less insecure about discussing it. There was a pause. 

“Don’t worry about them,” Gideon said, then added, “No offence.” 

The man in the corner of the room responded with a “Non taken.” She remained quiet, like she hadn’t heard Gideon speak, like she hadn’t been listening intently enough to hear him. She wrote things down to look busy. 

“Afew years ago at my moms med school, her students get cadavers.” 

She could see Gideon’s fingers moving against his brow in the corner of her eye, “So, how’d that make you feel?” 

“Good. Excited.” She chanced a glance up, and he trembled slightly, “It’s sick.” 

“Perfectly natural for a boy to feel excited if he sees a naked body, even a cadaver.” Gideon said dismissively, like it wasn’t something to worry about. 

“Yeah, but now that’s the only part that I think about.” 

Lydia’s pen paused over her paper for a brief second, then she went back to writing so he wouldn’t pick up on her change in demeanour. 

Gideon persevered, “Which part?” 

He swallowed, “Them being dead.” 

“So when you watch the prostitutes you don’t imagine having sex with them?” 

“No, I think about cutting them.” 

He was startlingly honest— it was making her believe in his innocence a little more, because despite the unlikely hood of all the evidence of an actual serial killer also happening to align with a lot of the impulses he was describing, it didn’t make sense for him to be so forthcoming with his mentality if he was guilty. 

“Why?”

“I don’t know… maybe to look inside. Or sometimes I think about feeling their blood in my hands and letting it flow through my fingers.” 

He was painting a vivid image, but it wasn’t exactly an unusual one for people with similar impulses to conjure up. Nathan was speaking with shame, an understanding that the things he craved was wrong. She wondered if it was the violence that did it, or if that was only a means to an end. Was it simply the fact of them being dead, of being completely malleable to his control, that he desired? 

“Does it ever make you climax just by thinking of that?” 

He didn’t directly answer, merely gave the smallest incline of his head, “I know I’m crazy.” 

Gideon didn’t blink, “Did I say that?” 

“No, but what do you call pictures in your head that you can’t make go away?” 

The silence lingered for afew seconds before Gideon gave his answer, then began to wrap up the interview with some more assuring words to Nathan. When they exited the office, the man gave her an exhausted look. He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it, “We’ll debrief it in afew minutes, I need a break.” 

Lydia nodded, a sigh dragging from her lips as she headed towards the desks, Spencer already perched against his and watching her like he had been waiting on her return this whole time. 

“What do you think?” His knuckles covered his mouth. 

“I don’t know,” She murmured, “It’s kind of fascinating… the impulses he’s talking about are consistent with a psychopathic state of mind but if he’s being genuine about the fear… that’s a guilty conscience. It’s a clear conflict. Being able to feign guilt isn’t unheard of, but at the same time… I’m struggling to see any tells which indicate he’s not being genuine.” 

Spencer was watching her with an almost hopeful expression, and she let out a small sigh, “There’s a lot we don’t understand about the human mind yet, it’s not black and white, we can’t apply the same theories to everyone so… it’s not impossible that he’d be able to still feel all these other human emotions that aren’t consistent with psychopathy. But… if he didn’t do this, didn’t kill all those people,” She shook her head with furrowed brows, “I think he will, eventually. Impulses like the ones he’s having, they aren’t quite. They’re loud and take over everything else. Even the conscience.” 

She could tell it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. His head ducked slightly, staring down at his hands in silence. Lydia watched him for a moment, observing his dejected state with furrowed brows.  

“Can I ask you something?” She said finally. 

He hummed, looking at her with an expression that attempted to appear impassive. The way he chewed on his lip, however, was a give away that he was anything but. 

“What is it about Nathan? What’s making you feel responsible for him?” She didn’t pose her question with any judgement, mere genuine curiosity. Over the last few months they’d been on a fair few cases together, and she’d never seen him so emotionally invested— especially with a supposed perpetrator. 

Spencer blinked, searching her features for a moment as if he was looking for any sign she would scrutinise him. When he didn’t seem to find any, he relented, “I remember what it was like being a kid and having a brain that worked a hundred miles ahead of everyone else. It was… scary. Lonely. I never had… I never had the kind of thoughts he’s talking about, but I feel like I understand him. And he wants help, I believe that. I believe that whatever it is that’s going on with him, he’s trying to fight it. Shouldn’t we… shouldn’t we help people who need it? Even if… you know…” 

“Of course we should,” She said softly, “And we are, you are. I bet no one’s shown him the level of empathy you have in a long time. Maybe not even ever. He’s been stuck in his head alone for god knows how long, and you’re giving him an outlet. Whatever happens here, whether we find out he did this or not, he’ll get the help that he needs. Gideon’s already talking to his mom about what sort of resources we can get involved for him.” 

Spencer said quietly, “I always struggle with that… the empathy side of the job.” 

“You’re doing fine at it now.” She offered him a reassuring smile, “Sometimes we can relate to things, and other times we can’t. I think that’s what makes a team work— some cases will resonate with one of us more than it will the rest, and while that person can provide empathy and personal insight, the rest of us can have a more detached and critical viewpoint. It helps us cover all bases.” 

He stared at her for a moment, then his shoulders relaxed from their hunched state. He looked back to his hands, nodding, before his gaze returned to her. “Thank you.” His quiet words were followed by that slightly awkward smile of his. 

⭈

Lydia spent the rest of her day at her desk, running over the profile and seeing if there was anything she could think of that could help to narrow it down. She managed a few more suggestions to Hotch before JJ did a press release, and it wasn’t long before the domino effect took place. With the inside knowledge of other women who had possibly come in contact with the killer, alongside a female politician who matched the identified characteristics with someone she knew, the team had apprehended the killer. 

It wasn’t Nathan, and thankfully, Gideon had arranged for him to get the treatment he needed. 

Lydia nudged Spencer’s foot with her own— it was after hours, and they were the only ones remaining in the bullpen. Hotch was situated in his office with paper work, Garcia still somewhere in the building. He was reclined in his chair, shoes against her desk, staring at the ceiling. “Hey,” She said, “You okay?” 

He hummed, “Yeah, just…” His brows weaved, “Long day.” 

She watched him quietly, “You worried about Nathan?” 

Spencer was silent for a moment before he nodded, “He’s just a kid, and he’s scared. I wish I could… help more.” 

“I think you helped him more today than anyone else has in a long time.” She sat up to look at him better, and he lowered his gaze from the ceiling to her, “You could have walked away from him earlier, and he would have been completely alone in all those thoughts he’s got going on. Because of you, he’s getting help. There’s going to be a whole support system around him now, and maybe he won’t feel better for a long time yet, but he’ll get there. You've done everything you could.” 

While it didn’t fully alleviate the tension from him, Spencer offered her a grateful smile. “I know, I just…” 

“I know.” She said empathetically. Even when you’ve done everything you possibly can, there will always be a side of you that wishes you could rewrite the very fabric of logic and reverse all the negatives that are still left lingering. But that wasn’t logical, and sometimes you just had to live with the anxieties until they didn’t feel so heavy anymore.  

“Come one,” She hit both of them with her scarf, “Us three, we’re hitting the town.” 

Lydia let out a snort, “The town?” 

“No offence Garcia, but I don’t think I’d make the best company right now.”

Spencer’s attempt at declining her offer went ignored— apparently it wasn’t an optional affair. “Oh, no. Up. Up. Do not make me hurt you.” 

Lydia didn’t try to hide her laughter as she swooped down to pick up her bag. Garcia couldn’t hurt a fly. Spencer reluctantly pulled his feet off of her desk, a small smile playing on his lips. No one could say no to Garcia. 

The three of them made their way out of the building— Garcia was insisting on driving, wanting to show off her new car she dubbed Esther. Spencer’s phone rang just as she opened her door. “What?” He spoke with a shaky voice, “Uh… stay— stay where you are, I’m calling an ambulance.” 

⭈

Spencer’s hands shook as he moved a towel between them, numbly attempting to clean away the blood stains. “Hey.” She said quietly, taking it from him to do it herself— he let her, brows furrowed while his gaze remained on the crimson stains. Lydia had always thought that the shade of blood was the most vivid colour in existence, demanding to be seen in the loudest of ways. It was a physical embodiment of the harshest emotions, like all bad things were tied to the sight of it. She didn't like that side of the job— not that anybody did, really, but her stomach for such sights hadn’t come easily. “You saved his life, you know? Paramedics said he wouldn’t have made it without you.” 

Spencer swallowed, “He wanted me to let him die.” 

“No,” She shook her head slightly, “He didn’t want to hurt people, and suicide is the only option he knew to make sure he didn’t. I don’t think Nathan wanted to die, Spencer, he wouldn’t have tried to get help if he did. I think the thoughts just became too much, and he needed a way to silence them that would be quick.” 

“What if… what if I’ve put more people at risk in the future?” 

“You haven’t, because he was wrong,” She said softly, “There are other options. They’ll give him the help he needs in hospital, and they won’t let him go until he’s no longer a danger to the public. You saved a life today, Spencer, but that doesn’t mean that you're now accountable for what he does with it.” 

He watched her for a moment, then nodded. His hands were as clean as they could get for now, and when he took the towel back so he could discard it, he offered her a tired but grateful smile. “Thank you.” 

She offered him a smile back, “Are you ready to go home? Morgan said he’d drop us off at our apartments.” 

He nodded tiredly, the weight of the last few days heavy on his shoulders. She nudged his shoulder slightly, hoping to give him something else to focus on so he didn’t fall back into the hurricane of thoughts in his head, “So, I finally managed to finish Star Trek.” 

His head snapped towards her, “What? But I’ve been trying to get you to watch it with me for weeks, I wanted to be able to point out how the—” 

Lydia listened to him talk, an amused smile on her features. The tail lights of Derek’s SUV flickered as he unlocked it, and they got in the back seat behind the older man and Garcia. There was a sense of belonging in moments like this, when the cases had wrapped up and they were riding the melancholy of making the streets that little bit safer. It settled something inside of her— the idea that she was finally gaining some sort of clarity over her own future. She could see herself doing this in the long run, and it was the clearest picture of what was to come she’d ever been able to have. 

It felt safe. Secure. Settled. She had been wanting that ever since she was eight years old, when she was ripped from the care of her father to live with her grandparents. 

Finally, she was getting there. 

[yukidragon]

The pregnancy AU is so dark but good. Realistic.

CW discussion of abuse and suicide mention

What Ian is doing to Alice in this AU is called post-separation abuse (and arguably stalking). Using child support money and visitation to keep his hooks in her are particularly dirty tactics, as is trespassing in to the hospital to hound her while she’s vulnerable after the birth, and the fact that his suicide attempt injuries are creating guilt in her.

He’s taking advantage of her inability to set boundaries and completely ignoring those of the hospital that are set for patients safety and wellbeing.

Ian paying for the flat trying to get Alice to move back in is favour sharking and trying to maintain control over her through financial means.

I do know exactly how dangerous Jack is after what he did to Nick. And that he’s also 100% manipulating MC/Alice, and half considered the theory that he may want to take over MCs body. I don’t think things will end well. But in this particular instance I’m actually more on Jack’s side and despite his ulterior motives think him hitting the call button to help Alice/talking to her about Ian’s manipulation is super reasonable.

Even from source material I genuinely don’t think Jack is the only shady manipulator in the game. Unstable yandere Ian is plausible.

Canonically Ian’s got his own issues resulting from abuse and is pitiful but he’s still got the upper hand financially and whether consciously or not he can be a manipulative softboy. Ian’s crying and incessant calls pressure MC, he talks about their history and grabs for any emotional hold he can get. They can’t afford to cut ties by moving out of the flat he knows the location of and presumably still has keys to, and he doesn’t give MC any choice around him returning to try and get back together. He knows the calls are unwanted as he “didn’t think you’d answer”.

He’s scary persistent. Abandonment issues are making him irrational. This is beginning to border on post separation abuse/stalking.

Plus to me Ian’s ‘intimacy’ while together seemed very one sided, kind of forced or forceful with what he did at the end. You’re welcome to disagree but I found it pretty difficult to listen to that encounter. His wants trumped her comfort level.

It’s ok if anyone likes him as a character, he’s cute, nobody is all bad and it is fictional.

I’m just saying I buy this AU because personally even canon Ian gives me bad vibes.

This is a very thoughtful analysis on the pregnant with Ian's child AU I posted here and here, but also MC's relationship with Ian as a whole. I'm also glad that you enjoyed the AU, even if it's pretty darn dark.

I have actually touched on Ian's personality in several past posts, particularly in this in depth one where I examined why he might have cheated. I do agree that Ian is being manipulative with his phone calls, from the way he words things to how he reminds MC of their past together and how much he loves and needs them. How far he'll go to get them back is something we'll have to wait and see, as the demo only gives us a glimpse into his desperation.

I do agree that Ian's sex scene was a bit rough to get through. You're not alone in thinking that he was being too forceful since he wouldn't let MC stop, pleading with them and even physically taking control away from them. Even MC thinks of it as them being used.

It was like being used. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I didn’t care if he WAS using me.

I won't go as far to say it's dubious consent, but it did feel like MC's ability to say no or stop was denied because Ian was horny and really wanted them to get him off.

Some people like being choked/suffocated during sex, but that's not everyone's fetish, and MC wasn't given a choice in the matter, nearly blacking out from lack of oxygen at the end.

It's possible that this is a similar situation to the sex scene in the "no" route where the writing didn't quite convey the tone intended. I'm willing to accept that may be the case and reserve my judgement for intent with the scene for when the updated demo comes out and reexamines that scene in particular when it comes to MC and the player's ability to make choices.

However, as we've seen in the demo, Ian gets pointers on how to have sex from ecchi/hentai. I don't know about you, but those sex scenes tend to have the penetrating male partner be excessively forceful, with the submissive partner at times protesting or even clearly saying "no," only to have it be framed as them actually being shy and wanting to be dominated so forcefully. It's a "romanticized" view of sex that lacks real communication for the sake of keeping the action going, as it were.

There are plenty of people who learn misinformation from hentai/ecchi/porn/word of mouth, especially if they're inexperienced, as MC and Ian are. Often times these types of porn are meant just to satisfy the straight male audience without considering other genders or orientations. There's plenty of bad lessons about toxic masculinity in these types of fiction and how much focus and glorification there is on the dominant male partner to get off. If the media shows that the other partner is satisfied by these actions that mostly just gratify the dominant male, and Ian is not getting feedback from his partner to tell him what they disliked, he can just happily think nothing is wrong with his technique.

This is especially true when it comes to having a partner who struggles to advocate for their own comfort if it might make the other partner feel bad. This is the narrative I'm exploring with Alice and Ian in Sunshine in Hell, and is part of why their relationship turned toxic. Lack of communication on boundaries, and Ian taking more from Alice than she should have been giving, ultimately led to an unhealthy dynamic between them.

As we've seen in the demo, while MC did take the lead at first during the sex scene, wanting to make Ian feel good, when they tried to pull back, he stopped them, giving them pleading eyes and saying it's the first time they got so far and it feels so good. They love him, so they give in to his needs. They're used to taking care of him and his needs, as we saw a few times earlier in the demo. He's sensitive, cries easily, and is very apologetic. Someone who is empathetic will have a hard time wanting to do anything that might upset him, like, say... telling him that what he's doing is hurting or suffocating them. They might even just skip asking him to return the favor by going down on them next since he's tired.

That's the case with Alice. She consented to sex with Ian, but there was this undercurrent of pressure to it. They're in love, it's what he wants, he says such sweet things, and it's something natural that couples do, right? If they don't have sex, well... isn't that just saying that she isn't attracted to him, like those bullies that mocked his looks? Isn't that comparing him to the people who forced SA on her? Isn't that saying that his sex drive is wrong like his mother always told him? I don't think pressuring her was a conscious choice on Ian's part, but when Alice struggled to deny him what he wanted and was so used to helping and taking care of him since he needed her... there's this undercurrent of obligation that encouraged her to just, well, "lie back and think of England" as the saying goes.

In their relationship, Alice's comfort and needs were sacrificed over and over for Ian's sake, because he needed her. He needed her to be the strong one, to support him. He had a shitty life and was all alone. He couldn't face the world without her. Without her, he had no one who loved and cared for him, no one to find him desirable. He got spoiled by her in ways... so when he no longer had her and he suddenly had to stand on his own... he felt very lonely. And very horny.

So it's really not any wonder that Ian was tempted when other people, besides Alice, started paying attention to him, liking him, and finding him desirable... especially in a place where Alice simply wasn't around to fulfil all his needs.

I think Ian is a really interesting character to explore. I do think his story arc is going to be one of redemption for his mistakes, both with the cheating and with their relationship in general. He's flawed, and I think that's the point. I don't think it's bad to like him or want to give him that second chance. I also don't think it's bad to dislike him and feel uncomfortable by the way he manipulates and pressures MC.

Ian has done damage to MC with his cheating. Whether or not the rest of his relationship with MC was healthy, well, I think that we might have to wait and see and/or do our own headcanons there. I'm sure for plenty of Ian fans, what went on between him and their MC was a lot healthier, just with a few hiccups and one major issue with his cheating.

I do know that Alice and Ian simply weren't a healthy relationship. They won't work together, even if he never cheated. Too much damage has been done and continues to be done. What Ian does with the phone calls is crushing to someone like Alice who only wants him to be happy... even though he broke her heart over and over again... and he continues to do so in a desperate attempt to return things to the way they used to be, when they were happy.

Ian just doesn't understand that there were too many times that his happiness came at the cost of Alice making herself unhappy... while she lied to herself that she was happy just because she made him happy.

To be fair to Ian, he can't exactly understand that he's taking too much when Alice doesn't love herself as much as she loves him.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

[nipahnan]

realistically , how is it like living in japan ? i am a POC so our experiences would definitely be different .. but are you fluent in the language ? how is everyday life for you ? do you have a job there or remote work overseas in the US ? sorry for all the questions !! i'm hoping to move to japan myself eventually . ♡

Aaah I’m so happy to finally get a question, I’ve been waiting to be able to ramble about myself on here thehe :) This is gonna be a long one, so I’m sorry in advance, but I want to try and be as transparent as possible!♡

I don’t live in Tokyo, yet I have a bunch of friends who live there and who talk about their experiences very openly, so I’ll also talk about things they went through and that they observed. In general people of course need to make sure not to romanticize a country. Japan is a country like any other and a lot of people forget that. I’ve been interested in Japan since I was around 11 years old and I came to Japan knowing about it’s good and bad sides because I did research about it for years. So coming here with very realistic expectations and not thinking I’m gonna live in a fairytale, I’d say it’s great so far! :)

Of course I’ve only been here for 1 year now, but it’s definitely so much better than living in Germany. It just suits my lifestyle and general personal behavior so much better. I never felt connected to people in Germany with the way they behave and so I’m having it way easier here. I definitely aim to obtain permanent residence status one day because I really believe that I want to enjoy my life here. I definitely feel like foreigners who move to Tokyo have it so much easier than people who move somewhere else in Japan, because there’s so much more English writing or people who try and speak English since it’s full of tourists too, so it’s easier to navigate without learning any Japanese. When I first landed in Japan I literally only spoke English and I was kinda shocked since I didn’t expect that at all tbh. I actually know a few people who have lived in Japan for years without learning any Japanese and it kinda baffles me sometimes lol. I definitely recommend coming here with at least some basic Japanese and then trying to gradually learn more, that’s how I did it and it’s been working very well. Im not fluent at all yet, but im able to have conversations and I’m learning every day and that’s what counts :)

I also know a lot of people who realized how fake Tokyo can be and decide to move away from it quickly because of them getting mental problems or their mental problems worsening, considering how awful mental help in Japan is. They’re feeling very lonely, overworked, and even get bullied. It definitely depends on the workplace of course. But as long as you make sure to make genuine friendships and realize that Japanese people can be extremely blunt and that their behavior is overall quite different, you’ll have no problem with them. There’s a lot of rules and there’s no way you’re always able to remember them, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Definitely try and act according to how they act and you will be welcomed with open arms I’d say :)

I currently don’t have a job because I got hit with a very hard illness right after 3 months of living here which resulted in me almost dying that I’m still recovering from. So I didn’t have time to work with how many times I was in the hospital, yet I’m having an interview soon and I’ll hopefully be able to start work in the next month if everything works out :)

I have a spouse visa after finally marrying my partner that I’ve been with for 4 years, so that made immigrating here way easier for me of course and I definitely realize that I was very lucky to get here that way. I only had to wait 15 minutes and immediately had my visa, meanwhile a lot of people say how long they had to wait because they had a different visa and of course because the Tokyo immigration is so much fuller than the one in Nagoya.

Everyday life is very chill, it’s very quiet so as a person who is very easily irritated and overwhelmed by loud noises it’s so much better for my mental health. yet again I don’t live in Tokyo and in a very tiny town (13.11 km² big lmao) so I have to drive to Nagoya for some of the „fun“ parts.

Now for some of the VERY annoying parts.

Stares. People stare at you ALL the time. Even tho I’m white, they love staring at me like I’m some alien because I have blonde hair and stick out like a sore thumb here in my city where there’s such a tiny amount of foreigners(basically 0 lol) I’ve noticed that people usually say that old people are kind of rude to them and how nice young people are, yet for me it’s the complete opposite at times. Old people, especially old women, love randomly talking to me and are generally very nice to me. There’s this older lady who works at my local family mart and she is sooo nice to me, always giving me compliments and everything, she is so cute♡ Meanwhile young people love staring and making fun of me because they often think I don’t understand them. I get comments like „she looks cute but she’s kinda fat.“ „do you think she even understands Japanese?“ and they giggle all the time. Sometimes they also take pictures of me in the train and it feels very rude. As someone who never stood out in her hometown and always trying her best to not get any attention, it definitely hurts to suddenly hear comments like that and basically feeling like a zoo animal at times. Yet I knew this would happen so I was prepared for it and I know I just shouldn’t care about comments like that. Now idk how bad it is in Tokyo but I can imagine it’s not as awful since it’s way more diverse? Yet you still hear stories about how this also happens very often to POC and sometimes even white foreigners who just happen to have a different type of style. So it’s definitely something to keep in mind.

Also about the topic of getting called fat. Japanese people LOVE to call you fat in your face. As soon as you’re over 50kg no matter your height they will probably consider you fat. One time I had to state my weight at the hospital for a scan and the lady literally yelled „…kg???“ and then proceeded to giggle to her male coworker. Considering that coming from the hospital staff, it was definitely shocking. Especially since I was literally about to die that day? I was so shocked and felt so bad considering I gained 10kg during that time only due to steroid medication which I literally had no control over. So I’d definitely say it’s another thing to be prepared for.

Their clothing style is also pretty different from the west, you’ll see a lot of long skirts and blouses or sweaters. Tight fitting clothes or clothes showing of a lot of skin aren’t as common here and it definitely makes you stick out. One time I was wearing a tank top under a jacket and didn’t close the jacket all the way while going to get takeout and some school boys sitting at the table loudly made a comment about how giant my boobs are and didn’t stop staring and it made me insanely uncomfortable to which I immediately just closed my jacket. Most uncomfortable encounter I’ve ever had and made me stop wearing shirts that show cleavage lol.

Also there’s of course a lot of sexual harassment here, especially in Tokyo. There’s literally guys just staring at 🌽 that you can see in the reflection of the train window (I even saw that in person one time, absolutely insane) or just straight up jerkin off. They literally have posters at my train stations telling women to pay attention to their skirts because there could be someone taking pictures of your panties. So if you intend to wear short skirts you always have to wear shorts under it if you don’t want some pervert to take a panty shot of you. At this point they even have hidden cameras in their shoes which is just insane to me…

Overall, don’t believe most things those tiktok or YouTube videos from tourists tell you. They often times don’t have any knowledge about Japan or how it is to live here, often give misinformation or are just straight up romanticizing this country to the max. All my friends and me even absolutely hate these travel vloggers at this point because of how much bs they’re saying :,)

To sum it up: if you have enough knowledge about the country and the people, prepare yourself as much as possible and realize that it’s very different from what you’re probably used to, and most of all, that it’s just another country that you’ll be living in, you’ll definitely love it here! :)

I definitely could tell even more because I had so many crazy encounters already and so many cool places to talk about, but I think I’ve been talking long enough now :D

Hope my ramble was a bit helpful for you（╹◡╹）♡

[wreakhavic]

The Most Dangerous Game

Part IV

There was one person Marika shared some details of her past with - Retsu Unohana, Captain of the 4th squad. It was out of necessity and only what was necessary since there were numerous problems concerning her health that Marika couldn’t have dealt with otherwise. She was terrified of Unohana, even though she was highly professional and deadly serious about doctor-patient confidentiality. She even put sensitive information off record and remembered what needed to be done.

Today Marika had a check-up and went to the 4th squad barracks for it. Unohana attended to her in her doctor's office with her usual kind smile and welcoming demeanor.

- Hello, Marika-kun, how have you been? - asked Unohana and showed Marika to take a seat.

- I feel good, for the most part - a bit tired from sleeplessness, that's all. Unohana nodded.

- Bacteriological results are all negative now, which is great, and your blood test is good. I guess that the cysts are gone as well. Let’s get you up on the exam table for the ultrasound.

Marika mounted a gynaecological table and Unohana started the exam.

- Mhm, mhm, good. The cysts are gone. I’m guessing the menstrual pain is gone as well?

- Yes, pretty much.

- Well, that is all well - said Unohana taking off her gloves and gesturing to Marika to get up and dress herself.

They sat back to their original seats.

-Now that all of that healed, we can start thinking about trying to return your cervix and uterus to their original shape and give them back function.

- I will… think about it… - said Marika quietly while clenching the edges of her uniform.

- Do not feel pressured about it, honey! It is an option to try when and if you want, but I don’t know if we will succeed. And now, concerning your insomnia…

- When I take the medications, I can sleep through the longer portion of the night - Marika mumbled quickly.

- But you don’t take them often?

- No, no, I want to get over it for real… - said Marika through tightened lips.

- Then you would have to start going into therapy, you know that?

- Yes… not likely to happen.

- Okay, I will prescribe you medication for insomnia, and ointment you can use on your private parts for comfort.

- Thank you, Unohana-san - Marika smiled faintly.

- You’re welcome, sweety. Feel free to go and get treatment for those eye bags.

Marika smiled and nodded, got up, and left the office. When the door closed, she sighed, inhaled, and put on a cheerful face. She looked at the clock on the wall.

“Only quarter past 11, huh? My duty starts at 14 o’clock today. What should I do?” - she tried so hard not to think about any memories that the visit to a doctor invoked.

“Yes, a facial massage”, “and maybe I will pay a visit to my Captain. To get something to read… ”

*

Marika hesitated for a moment before the door. She knew she was distressed, after all, she was introspective enough. The reason she hesitated was because she wasn't sure why she wanted to go to Aizen when she was so shaken.

"It's a challenge" - she concluded. "I wanna see if I will be able to detect him detecting my state of mind".

A knock at a door brought Aizen out of his work.

- Come in - he said thoughtfully.

Marika inhaled and exhaled and composed a nonchalant smile before entering. When she opened the door, she was able to detect a brief moment of genuine pleasant surprise on Aizen's face before he took control of his expression. Marika was satisfied with herself because she caught that very delicate moment.

- Good day, Captain. I'm sorry to bother you while you work… - she bowed properly and as she did, she got hit by a suspicion - "What if he wasn't happy because he saw me, but because he saw that I came to him in a moment of distress, and thus thinks that I am dependent on him?"

- Good day to you too, Gato-kun. Please, don't mind it. I'm happy to assist with whatever you need - he paused and showed her to the seat. She sat, composed herself again, and faced him with the most sincere smile.

- I was wondering, would you know of a book one shouldn't read on a sunny spring day while waiting for their shift to start?

Aizen smiled while appearing to be thinking hard - his eyes distant, wandering through the ceiling and finally said:

- Coincidentally, I happened to know of a perfect book - he stood up and took a relatively small book from the bookshelf.

Aizen stepped closer to her and handed her the book. Its hardcover was worn out from the use. Marika felt a dash of green tea fragrance when he got close, as she lightly brushed her fingers against his hand while taking the book. He felt a shiver going up his arm. Marika's fingers were soft but ice-cold.

The book was titled "A Walk through the Garden", with golden cursive imprinted on the cover.

Marika took a good look at it from every angle, flipped through the first few pages, reading about the author and the foreword, and then finally turned to Aizen, who was still standing near her - Will you tell me?

- Erm, sorry,... I'm not sure what you mean by that?

- Why did you pick this book for me not to read today? - She smiled, amused.

- Oh, that. It's because… - Aizen hesitantly returned to his seat - well, you see, this novel is about a young man that goes about his day. It's short and the plot only follows one day of his life, where he happens to have to go through a certain city garden multiple times. There was a tree in full bloom, and every time a petal fell off, he learned something about himself. And every petal is forcing the reader to stop and think about themselves, that is why it’s a terrible book to read when you don’t have much time on your hands and something is waiting for you…

Marika chuckled - I guess I will call in sick today - she shrugged her shoulders - I’m sure my Captain will understand… - she stuck her tongue a bit as a sign of joking. Aizen leaned his head on his hand and looked at Marika with delight:

- Yes, you could. I would make sure he understood.

Marika smiled back conspiratorially. For a few moments, they sat in silence looking into each other’s eyes.

Aizen felt lost in Marika’s eyes. He wanted to continue onward sunbathing in their yellow glow but felt he was about to be… trapped, somehow.

“No, she will be the one trapped”, he thought as he broke the silence - I hope you’ll enjoy this book, Officer Gato - he emphasized the official nomenclature.

Marika got up and bowed - I am sure I will find time to read it thoroughly in the next few days and come to appreciate it vastly - she said nonchalantly as she was leaving the office.

“I win this encounter, Captain Aizen” - she grinned.

*

Marika reported for duty and went to her post. Momo waved to her and evacuated the seat next to her:

- Hii! Marika, here, I saved you a seat!

Marika sat herself in the vacant seat and greeted Momo - Hello Momo, I hope you are well! - she put the book in her lap.

-  Mhmm - Momo nodded - you look very fresh today.

- I had a facial massage this morning at the 4th. You should go as well, it’s great!

- Ooh, I will seriously think about it! - Momo looked a bit tense for a moment, and changed the theme - Anyways, we are waiting for the reports about recruits on their first mission to come in. It should be no more than 15 minutes. We will evaluate them and then the Captain will pair them so everyone can grow and better themselves. You can write a recommendation for a pair if you want.

- Sure, I will do that if I see some compatibility… Hey Momo, did you have a chance to read the book I gave you?

- Oh, yes… It’s lovely… What are you reading right now? - She gestured at Marika’s lap.

- Oh, that - that is just something Captain landed me today. I haven’t read it yet, so I can’t recommend it to you.

- I’ve never seen it before… Nevermind. Let’s talk about the party!

- Oh, yeah… - Marika seems to be just now reminded of the upcoming party.

- Are you coming? - Momo asked, concerned.

- Of course! You?

- Yes… What do you think, will Captain be going?

- He ought to? I think he always follows protocols and such. Why didn’t you ask him? - Marika was thinking if she remembered Aizen ever not going to any official event.

- Yeah, he is probably going… I can’t ask him that! He will think that I am too interested in him…

- Momo, I think everyone can tell that…

Momo flushed red and buried her face in her hands.

- I’m hopeless, hopeless!

- Heyy there, there - Marika patted her on the back - you’re alright. Why don’t you try dancing with him at the party, and see where it goes?

- Okay - she seemed somehow even redder.

“How does she even communicate with him… I would give a coin to see them alone. Hmm, maybe they have already been intimate… “, Marika almost chuckled at the thought.

- Now compose yourself Momo, I see an officer coming with the paperwork.

Momo nodded and straightened her hair and the uniform. They got down to business.

[baejl]

dancing fools

ateez 9th member au

moon helps san with his insecurities

WARNINGS: this is set earlier on their debut, so that’s why they’re a bit strange to each other. as we almost never talk about moon and san’s relation, I thought it’d be a fun way to show how they got close and how it turned into the beautiful friendship we have. hope you like it! 

masterlist ☾ requests are open feedback is always important to me!

Getting in the dance room, Moon was welcomed by Pirate King, ATEEZ's debut song, and San rehearsing his part alone. As their debut was getting closer, they had this week off to focus more on themselves and get mentally ready for the radical change their lives would go through.

Maybe, just like her, San didn't have anywhere else to go to relax.

Everything was still new to Moon, even though it has been over two months since the news of her debut. The fact that in less than one year she's finally going to be able to call herself an 'idol' scared and made her excited at the same time.

Moon didn't even realise she stood by the door, watching San giving his everything on the dance break. Not until he noticed her presence and completely stopped dancing.

"Oh!" he said, with his arm still on the step pose. "Y-You're here."

"Good morning!" Moon beamed at him, walking to the leather couch to place her backpack there. "Do you mind if I join you? I'm literally going to freak out if I stay five more minutes alone at the dorm."

Moon walked closer to San and started stretching her arms. Pirate King had a tough and energetic choreography. There wasn't a single day she danced that she wasn't physically exhausted.

"Actually," San cleared his throat. "I was about to leave."

Before he even ended his answer, he turned his back to Moon and started to gather his stuff around the room.

"What?" Moon questioned, frowning, still staring at his back. "Why?!"

San took some time to answer her.

"I'm… hungry." he simply said but still didn't face her.

Moon puffed and kept her stretching routine.

"You know we've been living together, right? There's no need to lie to me." she told him, now stretching her legs.

She said it in such a genuine way that it made San stop moving before touching the doorknob.

"I'm not lying to you, Moon." he finally faced her, still not looking her in the eyes. His cheeks were red, and he tried to focus on everything but Moon. "I'm just hungry."

Moon sighed and got up, rubbing her hands to get the dirt off her hand.

"Okay, oppa." she kindly said, placing her hands on her hips. "Let's pretend I believe that you would still leave if I hadn't got here."

San opened his mouth, trying to get a plausible argument to answer her, but he knew there wasn't anything he could say to deny the truth.

"See? I knew it!" Moon said, shrugging. "It's okay, oppa. Have a good meal."

"No, that's not it." San denied, waving his hand, getting closer to Moon. The girl looked at him and arched her eyebrow at him. "I don't like to rehearse my part whenever there's someone else around."

Now, the shocked one was Moon - that stopped whatever she was doing to look at him with an unbelieving face.

"You're kidding, right?" Moon asked. Not having an answer, she asked again. "Right?"

San puffed and placed his bag on the floor, sighing. At that point, Moon could even say he was fighting back his tears, and she started feeling a bit guilty.

"I hate it that I'm not as good as you and the other members. I'm always a walking last-place medal." he said with a sad smile. "I don't even know if people are going to like me."

Moon pouted.

For the little she could tell about San, Moon knew he used to demand a lot of himself, especially when it came to dancing, but she honestly thought he was just a bit too perfectionist. Knowing that all of that insecurity was probably the result of many people telling him that made her heart break.

Being a trainee isn't an easy thing. Being told you're not good enough face to face isn't something you dream of or like. And unfortunately, the mentors and teachers see trainees as some type of robot, ready to be programmed, and not humans with feelings. And, Moon knew better than anyone how the other trainees could use that in their favour.

"Oh…" Moon tried to think about what to say next. "I'm so, so sorry if I was too indelicate. I didn't want to make you feel bad."

"Don't pity me, Moon." San said, rolling his eyes and scoffing. "The last thing I need is someone telling me things that aren't true."

"Then why do you listen to whoever says you're not good enough?" Moon snapped back. "Because, I'm sorry, oppa, but you can't expect me to believe you really think this about yourself."

"How not to think when everyone tells you the same thing?" he asked with a trembling voice. "I'm not good enough, Moon. I know it, and it's okay. I just really want you to keep this whole situation a secret. I don't need the boys lying to me too."

"I'm not pitying you." Moon said, after some long seconds in silence. "But I'm trying to help you. It's not okay to let people, especially the ones who aren't happy for you, tell you who you are. You're not bad, oppa, and you're certainly not ugly at all."

San blushed even more if that was possible.

"And, if it makes you a bit more comfortable, you're not the only one who's insecure." she bumped their shoulders.

He giggled and shook his head.

"You're definitely not the one. You always look so fierce and strong."

"You're right, I look, but I'm not." Moon joked, and San finally smiled. "Let's say I can just fake a bit better than the others."

The boy sighed, trying to decide on what to do.

If he gets out and does not face this obstacle, he doesn't know if he'd ever get this opportunity again, and Moon was so empathic with him.

But, the thought of just going back to the dorm and hiding seemed so tempting.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to dance a bit." Moon announced, heading to put on a song to warm up.

"Okay. I'm staying." San said with a small smile. "But, please, don't tell the boys about my… thing. Not even Wooyoung knows about it."

Moon zipped her mouth shut and pretended to throw the key away. They laughed at her childish action, and Moon took San, dragging him to the middle of the room.

"Now, let's dance insecurity away!"

[renegades-garbage]

Finding The Truth Part 2

sequel to this fic 

the description is on part 1

maybe ill write a part where they tell adrians dads idk yet tho

anyways i love you and hope you enjoy!

Adrian wasn’t sure what to think or really what to do at all. Nova, who had just shown up at his home completely unannounced, was now collapsed in his arms sobbing. 

Adrian had never seen Nova cry before, he got the feeling she wasn't one to cry in front of people often. A warm feeling ran through him upon the realization that she had come to him rather than being alone as she usually preferred, but he couldn't think about that right now. He also couldn't think about the fact that he had this strange terrified protective feeling that he didn’t quite understand but knew it definitely wasn’t platonic. 

Adrian took a deep breath clearing his addled thoughts. They were still in the doorway, halfway on the porch and half in the entryway.

“Do you want to come inside?” 

Nova nodded her head numbly. It was only then that Adrian realized she was drenched in rain.

“Nova you’re soaked. Did you walk here?” Another head nod. “Come downstairs ill get you some dry clothes okay?”

“Okay,” she said weakly. Adrian had never heard her sound like that. Frail and helpless, words he would never in a million years use to describe Nova Mclain, and it broke his heart. 

–

Adrian watched as she fiddled with the hem of the t-shirt he had given her. He wasn’t really sure what to do at this point. He still didn’t know why Nova was here and she hadn’t said much to give him any sort of hint.

She wasn’t crying anymore but her eyes were still red and he ached to bring her into his arms, though he refrained not wanting to make her uncomfortable or further upset her as she seemed to get overwhelmed by physical touch sometimes. As they sat in silence he couldn’t help but feel like he was doing something wrong, like he missed the ‘comforting your girlfriend (girlfriend?) 101 class.

Just as he was about to break the silence (something that he’s sure would have resulted in awkwardness) Nova heaved a sigh.

“I'm sorry for just showing up like this. I just,” she cleared her throat “um needed somewhere to go.”

“That's okay. I've shown up at your house unannounced my fair share of times.” He offered a weak smile which she didn’t really return.

He watched as she fought more tears and decided grabbing her hand would be acceptable. Nova stared at their joined hands and began to cry more.

“I'm so sorry,” she said again.

“Hey, I already said it's fine you're welcome here.”

“No not that.” she was shaking, struggling to get her words out. “I messed up Adrian. Like I really fucked up, bad. You’re going to hate me when I tell you.”

This only confused Adrian more. “I'm not going to hate you, Nova. I don’t think that’s even possible,” he confessed. 

Nova looked up at him her eyes sad. “I really wish that was true Adrian because I care about you. I genuinely care about you. A lot .” Adrian would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little shocked to hear this blatant admission come out of her mouth. Nova wasn’t usually one to talk about her feelings so openly like this. He had an eerie feeling that she was trying to prove herself to him like whatever she was going to tell him would make him not believe her. 

“Nova you’re kind of scaring me,” Adrian said with a dull laugh, only half joking.

To his dismay, Nova let go of his hand before speaking.

“I lied Adrian. About a lot of things and I don't think I can fix this.”

“I can help you Nova just tell me what’s going on.” Adrian was honestly terrified at this point but he wanted to be there for her, and he honestly didn’t think that anything she said could change that.

“My name’s not Nova Mclain. Its Nova…Artino”

Adrian froze. He didn’t quite believe the conclusions his mind was jumping to but he knew that last name. “As in-?”

“Yes.” Nova said quickly. “I’m David Artino’s daughter and.” she looked away her voice getting softer “and Ace Anarchy’s niece.”

Adrian gasped a little as silence settle between them. His mind was racing, his thoughts wild and overwhelming. This couldn't mean… She couldn’t be…. No absolutely not. But the more he inspected her face the less sure he was. 

“Nova…” he didn’t want to ask. He wasn’t even sure he was ready to hear the answer he already knew would come out of her mouth. “Are you-?”

“Nightmare.” 

A chill ran through Adrian’s body at that name he started shaking his head, not believing what he was hearing. He stood up, anger coursing through his veins. This whole time, the whole time the very person he had been hunting was the person he had begun to care about the most.

“Nova what the hell. So this whole time it was all a lie?” he thought back to the beginning of this conversation when he had thought she sounded like she was trying to prove herself. Prove her feelings to him. So was that real or part of the ruse? Why was she even telling him this? Why had she run to him?

“No, I care about you I promise. My feelings for you are real. Adrian, they lied to me.” 

“What do you mean they lied to you? Why would you do all of this just to confess?”

“My uncle, Ace, he took me in after my parents died. He gave me a family, made me trust him. He told me the renegades failed my family after my father asked for protection from the Roaches, but today...today I heard them talking. It was all a lie, Ace sent the hit man and I was supposed to die too. He killed his own family.” Nova’s voice was breaking as she cried. Adrian was surprised to find that tears were welling up in his own eyes. He didn't fully understand the situation or his feelings but for some reason, he believed Nova, and her still felt for her. 

“Ace told me the renegades failed me. My whole life I've been trained to hate them, to destroy them, but it was all just… manipulation. Lady Indomitable was there that night.” Adrian winced at hearing his mother's name. He sat back down on the sofa, though still not touching Nova. 

“She tried to save us. This whole time I've been fighting for this vision of prodigy rights that I'm not sure Ace even believes in. He just wants power. He doesn’t care about prodigies and he doesn’t care about me. I was so stupid Adrian. I just wanted him to be proud of me. I didn't want to fail him or the other Anarchists and I couldn't even see that they were using me.” Nova was crying so hard now that she could barely get words out and despite everything, Adrian still ached to comfort her. 

“They said they were going to kill me because I started to care about you too much.”

Adrian took her hand once again and she looked so shocked he almost could have laughed. 

“Come here,” he said, and she did. Nova crumbled into his arms once again as she cried, and Adrian couldn’t find it within himself to be mad at her right now, not when she was so clearly hurt and traumatized, and not when he was keeping a secret too. 

He had been so scared to tell her before but now it seemed so insignificant which he had to admit was a small relief.

“I’m the Sentinel.” He said.

Nova looked up at him, her crying ceased as her jaw dropped. “Really? Are you serious?”

“Yes”

“I thought they said that but I wasn’t really sure what was going on”

And then Nova laughed, big heaving exhausted laughs, which made Adrian laugh too. 

“I'm sorry.” He said.

“I don’t think you even need to apologize considering everything. I should be apologizing to you.”

“Based on what you’ve told me, which I still haven’t fully processed, you’re not the one I’m mad at.”

“Maybe you should be.”

“Maybe, but I told you, Nova. It’s not possible for me to hate you.”

Adrian watched as a blush bloomed across her cheeks. Great skies how can she still be so beautiful after crying for hours?

“Your dads are going to hate me. They might put me in jail you know. I would deserve it.”

Adrian sighed not really knowing what to say. He didn't think they would throw Nova in jail if she told them all that but with all the distress she caused as Nightmare he couldn’t be sure. 

“Well, we don’t need to worry about that right now.” He told her. He kissed her forehead gently and laid them both down keeping her in his arms. 

“Okay,” she said. “Thank you, Adrian.”

“For what?”

“Everything,” she said, before laying her head down on his chest and letting her eyes drift closed, allowing them both to fall into a quiet dreamless sleep.

[whoovesnassistant]

Skit Contest Entry 10

“Ogres and Oubliettes” - By MagnaFae

INT. - TARDIS LOUNGE The TARDIS door creaks open and then shuts. Hoofsteps sound at a trotting pace on a metal floor. DOCTOR (enthusiastic) Welcome back, Derpy! Are you prepared for a game night of unrelenting fun?

DERPY

I sure am! And since it's my week to pick the game, I have something new!

TICK TOCK

Did you procure a new expansion pack for Seekers of the Lunchbox?

DERPY

Good guess, but no. Let me show you!

A saddlebag is opened, followed by the clacking of dice, the rustling of paper, and the gentle thump of a hardback book.

DOCTOR

Dice? Character sheets? And a handbook...this couldn't be - ?

DERPY (interjecting) Ogres and Oubliettes! DOCTOR (to himself) Huh. No pony pun? I don't know whether to find this refreshing or disappointing.

TICK TOCK What manner of game is this?

DERPY

It's a tabletop role-playing game! We tell a fantasy story together and roll these dice to decide the results of the characters' actions. It'll be like an adventure with the Doctor, but with none of the danger!

DOCTOR (indignant) Oi! Can you really call it a proper adventure without a little danger?

DERPY

Sure, for a real adventure, but this is for game night! And there's no room for real stress at game night.

Sound of multiple dice bouncing on the table during TICK TOCK's following line of dialogue. TICK TOCK (fascination) Your collection of dice for this game greatly intrigues me, Derpy. You have cubes, tetrahedrons, octahedrons, dodecahedrons, icosahedrons, and even pentagonal trapezohedrons.

DERPY (hopeful) So you...wanna play? TICK TOCK

Affirmative. I simply must know how these various polyhedrons are implemented into the game.

DERPY (drawn out, pleading) Will you play too, Doctor? Please?

DOCTOR

Oh, alright! I'm not about to pass on game night with my companions.

DERPY (enthusiastic) Yay! Ogres & Oubliettes night is on!

INT. - TARDIS LOUNGE

DERPY

Alright! Let’s go around the table and introduce our characters. Starting with...Tick Tock! TICK TOCK (caught off-guard) Oh, um, okay. My character is a... unicorn stallion. DOCTOR

You're playing as yourself?

(Printed with the demonstration version of Fade In)

TICK TOCK

Not necessarily. His class is soldier, subclass artillerist.

DOCTOR (friendly teasing) Still sounds like you, Tick Tock!

TICK TOCK

And he's blue. DOCTOR

Blue?

TICK TOCK (sheepish at the end) Yes. A blue unicorn artillerist soldier named Blueprint. Apologies for my unoriginality. DERPY (encouraging) Actually, I think the name Blueprint is very clever! I'm excited to see how you use the mana cannons!

TICK TOCK (flattered) Thank you, Derpy. I am eager to roll all these dice for said mana cannons.

DERPY giggles in anticipation. DERPY Now you, Doctor! DOCTOR

Alright! I’m playing a griffon detective rogue. No one knows his real name, but he's a drifter, so everyone calls him "The Drifter". And he wears a Stetson! DERPY (friendly teasing) Are you going through another hat phase? Typical Doctor. TICK TOCK

On the contrary, I find these choices to be rather atypical of the Doctor.

DOCTOR

Really now? Care to elaborate?

TICK TOCK

Gladly. I hypothesized that you would create a red-haired unicorn character, in order to attain some form of personal wish fulfillment.

DOCTOR (incredulous) Wish fulfillment?! What for? No fictional gingercorn of mine could ever compare to the genuine article!

TICK TOCK (flattered, confused) You mean...me? Um, thank you?

DOCTOR

You're welcome. Moving along - Derpy!

DERPY

I'm playing Sugarplum the reindeer. She's an oracle mage who has visions of the future in her dreams.

DOCTOR (stifling laughter) And would you say these visions of Sugarplum's...dance in her head? The DOCTOR laughs at his own joke. DERPY sighs in exasperation.

DERPY (awkward, apologetic) Doctor, we can't understand your jokes if they're only funny in another universe. DOCTOR (grumbling, pouty) I swear, this whole blasted pony universe wants to make me the joke...

TICK TOCK

Incidentally, Derpy, that character concept is reminiscent of your historical alias from Neighers, Bright Eyes. Was that intentional?

DERPY (surprised) Oh wow, I didn't even make that connection! I guess we're all playing characters based on ourselves, huh?

TICK TOCK (amused) We have established that Blueprint is not me. He is blue. And fictional.

DOCTOR

Alright! Are we all ready to begin?

DERPY

Yep! Give me just a moment to find the right page, and I'll set the scene for our adventure. Ahem...

Sound of pages turning, which transitions to the sound of a winter wind blowing through dry leaves. INT. - TARDIS LOUNGE/IMAGINARY NEVERFREEZE JUNGLE

DERPY (dramatic) Blueprint, the Drifter, and Sugarplum are walking along a hoofpath, deep in the Neverfreeze Jungle. A sudden cold snap settles over the land, which is not normal for this tropical region. Night is falling, and so is the temperature. What do you do?

A short segment of copyright-free Wild West instrumental whistle music plays over the DOCTOR's next line of dialogue.

DOCTOR (Western accent) Rest easy, pardners. My torches will keep ya'll warm and shed light on the path ahead of us. The music abruptly ends.

TICK TOCK (confused) Doctor, why are you speaking like that?

DOCTOR

Oh! That's how my character talks!

TICK TOCK (discouraged) I wasn't aware that we had to change our voices to distinguish the characters from ourselves.

DERPY (reassuring) Oh! You don't have to do any of that, Tick Tock! You can just describe what Blueprint says and does without talking "in character". TICK TOCK

In that case, Blueprint accepts the Drifter's offer of a torch and examines his surroundings.

The sound of one die bouncing on a wooden table. TICK TOCK (cont'd) Seventeen on the Perception check. I think that is relatively high.

DERPY

It is! In the torchlight, you spot a nearby cottage. The windows are dark. Hmm...I wonder if Sugarplum has seen this cottage in a dream before.

The sound of bouncing thuds of two dice on a wooden table, followed by the sound of pages turning. DERPY (cont'd) That's a seventy-two out of one hundred on my Premonition percentage, which means...Yes! Sugarplum says, "We should knock on the door! I have a good feeling about this place and the zebra who lives here."

DOCTOR (eager, giddy) A zebra?! Oh, fantastic! I'm going to walk up and knock on the door!

DERPY

Drifter, you knock on the door and an old zebra in a nightcap opens it. She looks grumpy because you woke her up.

DOCTOR (confident) No worries, I can smooth this over.

A short segment of copyright-free Wild West instrumental whistle music plays over the DOCTOR's next line of dialogue.

DOCTOR (cont'd) (Western accent) Evenin', ma'am. We're a trio of humble travelers lookin' fer a place to bunk down. Can ya spare us a room?

The sound of bouncing thuds of one die on a wooden table.

DOCTOR (cont'd) That is...twelve total for the Negotiation check. DERPY

With a twelve...the zebra says she isn't accepting any tenants.

DOCTOR

Blast!

DERPY

But she'll answer our questions if we have any.

TICK TOCK

Blueprint asks the zebra what she knows about the sudden cold snap.

DERPY

Okay! The old zebra says...

Sound of turning pages as DERPY checks her session notes.

DERPY (cont'd)

...that last night, she heard some howling winds and then snow started falling early this morning! TICK TOCK

Does this account remind Blueprint of any local legends? DERPY

Hmm...you can roll a Lore check to jog your memory. All of us can, actually. Throw those dice!

DOCTOR (excited) Brilliant! I put seven skill points into Lore! C'mon, Detective!

The sound of three dice bouncing on the wooden table.

DERPY

Ten.

TICK TOCK

Seven.

DOCTOR (victorious) Twenty-three!

TICK TOCK (incredulous) How did you-? DOCTOR (interjecting) Detective!

DERPY

Sweet Celestia, that's a high roll! The Drifter recognizes this as the work of one or more windigos.

DOCTOR

You know, I've encountered the wingidos before. Does that mean my character knows their weakness?

DERPY (flatly) No, Doctor. That's metagaming.

DOCTOR

Meta-what?

TICK TOCK It means cheating. DOCTOR

Blast!

DERPY

But the Drifter does know that following the cold air upwind should lead to the windigos' lair.

DOCTOR

Fantastic! Let's be off then, fantasy companions! Avante!

DERPY & TICK TOCK

Avante!

INT. TARDIS LOUNGE/IMAGINARY WINDIGO LAIR Tense, copyright-free instrumental battle music plays over the following exchange of dialogue. DOCTOR

Alright, nobody panic, but the Drifter is out of HP. DERPY

Again?! Doctor, Sugarplum's gonna run out of spells at this rate.

DOCTOR

Well, you don't have to heal him! At least, not immediately. DERPY

I guess, but every turn he's unconscious with frostbite, the windigos get free healing.

DOCTOR

Oh...probably should've considered that before flying in with my daggers.

DERPY

Yeah Doctor, why do you keep running into melee? Just shoot your bow and arrows from the back, up in the air!

DOCTOR

Because all Sugarplum has are ranged spell attacks and Tick Tock -

TICK TOCK (interjecting) Blueprint.

DOCTOR (exasperated) Blueprint has spent the past three rounds not doing his job as the front-liner!

TICK TOCK (flatly) I already explained that I'm setting up my artillery.

DOCTOR (exasperated) We don't need three mana cannons! There's only two windigos! TICK TOCK (insistent) These are scattershot mana cannons. Based on the average damage output of each cannon, three will defeat both windigos in one round. Efficiently.

DOCTOR (shouting) Well, we could have beaten them without the cannons if you just - !

DERPY (shouting, interjecting) Everypony, time out!

The tense, copyright-free instrumental battle music stops.

DERPY (cont'd) (impassioned) We're supposed to be having fun - as a team - and we're not even listening to each other. Please, can we all just take a deep breath and...

DERPY, TICK TOCK, and the DOCTOR inhale and exhale slowly.

DERPY (cont'd) (calmly) Relax? Good. It's just...a game. I'm sorry for complaining so much.

DOCTOR

I'm sorry as well, Ditzy, Tick Tock. I suppose I got a bit heated there.

TICK TOCK

Apologies accepted, and likewise, I apologize for neglecting my duties as the designated melee combatant.

DOCTOR

No no, Tick Tock, I completely understand. You just wanted to use the cannons because you get to roll a lot of ten-sided dice if they hit.

TICK TOCK

That is...a correct assessment. But now that we're in this predicament, how do we claim victory?

DERPY (hopeful) Well, there are three cannons now, and three of us. Maybe we can...?

The tense, copyright-free instrumental battle music returns.

TICK TOCK

That's...yes, that can work. But first, Blueprint administers a healing potion to the Drifter.

DOCTOR (relieved) Thank you!

TICK TOCK

Then he will aim a scattershot mana cannon at the windigos and urge the Drifter and Sugarplum to do the same.

DERPY

Yep!

DOCTOR Done! Now what?

TICK TOCK chuckles in anticipation. The music fades out.

TICK TOCK We fire. Roll to hit.

A heartbeat sound quickens and grows in volume during the next two lines of dialogue. DERPY

I'm gonna shake my dice for luck...

DOCTOR (under his breath) C'mon, roll high, roll high...

The sound of three dice bouncing on the wooden table. TICK TOCK gasps, and then DERPY and the DOCTOR cheer.

DERPY (enthusiastic) All three of us rolled a natural twenty?! W-what?! That's amazing!

TICK TOCK (dumbfounded) That's...amazing is an understatement. There was only a one in eight-thousand probability of that outcome occurring. DERPY

Doctor, did you rig our dice with your Sonic Screwdriver? DOCTOR

And tarnish the sanctity of game night? Perish the thought, Derpy!

DERPY giggles.

DOCTOR (cont'd)

Tick Tock? Would you like to do the honors of rolling our total damage?

Sound of TICK TOCK's magic flaring. TICK TOCK (borderline euphoric) Three critical successes. Applied to three scattershot mana cannons. I get to roll...fifteen pentagonal trapezohedrons.

Sound of fifteen dice clattering noisily onto the table. DERPY and the DOCTOR cheer. TICK TOCK chuckles. TICK TOCK (cont'd) That was immensely satisfying.

DERPY

Guess we have to count it all up now.

DOCTOR

Or we can use a teensy-weensy sonic shortcut.

The Sonic Screwdriver buzzes.

DOCTOR (cont'd) Ninety-nine damage total. That's surely enough.

Sound of turning pages, followed by DERPY's excited gasp. Royalty-free victory music plays.

DERPY

It is! We beat the windigos! Victory hug!

Sound of movement as DERPY pulls the DOCTOR and TICK TOCK into a group hug. DERPY giggles. TICK TOCK sighs contently.

TICK TOCK (happy, mellow) I love game night.

[borreloadsavagedragon]

alright tell all of us your thoughts about kaito :)

I did not forget… I have just been con crunching but now I’m free to become the worse

Minor Zexal and Arc V spoiling ahoy

How I feel about this character:

Oh no you’ve opened a floodgate… welcome to oversharing hour with Jay

I’m very normal about Kaito, just ignore the two full cosplays + the EVA foam Orbital work in progress I have mapped out, the wall scroll that’s at my work computer, my ita pin bag, and the fact that I’ve done everything I can to make his deck competitive viable and god dammit am I still trying please print this deck a god damn banger starter, Konami, I can’t keep doing this without your help-

Short story but I used to be suuuuper YGO Vrains favoring from 2020 into early 2022, but I found myself drifting from it because one can only tolerate so much subtweeting and catty behavior over personal preferences, and I’d never really finished Zexal before, just has a half baked idea how it ends, like I watched a chunk of it when it first aired but never finished and proceeded to forgot most of it, so I picked it back up after deciding to pick up Kaito to write in an RP server with some friends because I remembered liking him and… well I didn’t stand a chance when I got back to him fjdhdhd

I deeply relate to the theme of self-inflicted loneliness because it’s easier to be by yourself, just getting walked out on, left in the dark, or even being shafted for reasons out of my own control, I really get that

Also taking on too much if it means the people you love will be ok even if the ending result is you’re not ok, where he is after his Duel with Yuma at the end of Zexal I and getting to repair all of those relationships he was damaged by is where I want to get to in life

Bonus fact that’s minor spoilers for another spin off, but I’m… not a huge fan of his portrayal in Arc V, I like that he’s there and acknowledge that it’s a different Kaito and I love all Kaito Tenjos as they exist, including the Structures Cosplayer, but… yeah, not a fan, I’m a big fan of showing vs telling and Arc V to me feels like it’s ALL telling for all of its supporting cast most of the time

All the people I ship romantically

The better question is who I don’t honestly because that list is far smaller, but if I had to pick favorites I’m very partial to Ryouga, Mizael, and Edo-

Something about rivals to lovers resonates with my very being, even if Edo is less of a rival and more of an enemy until Arc V does it’s usual-

I’ve written for Challenge and AntiHero both already actually, my docs is 99% Challenge Wips that are slowly coming along tbh, and GalaxyMaster takes more time to write since most of those are… you know what I’m getting at LOL

I stg Gallop's one mission was to make Kaito Tenjo a dating sim protagonist because I have no other excuse for why they gave him so many boyfriends and even girlfriends across Zexal and Arc V, Yugioh’s surprising most eligible bachelor

My non-romantic OTP

nervous laughter

Chris.

I like to think of them more as divorcees who are just fine staying apart

Also gestures vaguely at the first answer

My unpopular opinion

I don’t know if I have many tbh, besides disliking Arc V’s rendition of him / not liking mentor at all lol— Like maybe how I genuinely believe he’s the strongest rival bc his record was the best even after he was put up against forces behind human understand and was even considered dying majority of the time of Zexal while remaining arguably mostly human, Zexal’s wack

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

Oh my god, the duel I hate the most in all of YGO is Kaito’s duel against Heartland because not letting Kaito win against someone who’s become representative of the garbage he was put through is SO UNSATISFYING

Yuma coming in and finishing it up is symbolic in its own right because of the importance of bonds, but to me that was and always should have been Kaito’s moment, let Yuma and Astral show up literally any other time and I’m fine with it

ALSO WE DON'T GET THE RYOUGA AND KAITO GRUDGE MATCH, though Kaito solos everytime, I’m so sorry Ryouga

[crippleprophet]

homegrown health literacy part 0: mac is Just Some Guy, i swear

hello and welcome to my Just Some Guy disclaimer! if you’re seeing this on your dash / my blog / etc organically, the context is i will be delving into more posts on health literacy soon, and want to be transparent about my qualifications and lack thereof, positionality, goals, etc, so i’m creating this post to link back to.

most importantly, i am not trying to misrepresent myself as an authority on healthcare, disability, medical research, or your experiences. rather, i am trying to disrupt the positioning of healthcare professionals as authorities. i absolutely understand that i’m not capable of meeting everyone’s access needs (although please let me know about other people & organizations’ work that i can promote!) but i want to do what i can to empower people to understand their own healthcare in order to better self-advocate or have others advocate for them.

so! as i often say, i am Just Some Guy on the internet - i’m not a healthcare professional and have not been one in the past, i don’t know everything, and i especially don’t know all of the particulars of your situation. i don’t want people to be forced to take their doctors at their word because of inaccessible healthcare information and societal ableism; this doesn’t mean i think every word out of your doctor’s mouth is necessarily a lie.

it’s also important to note that i support & affirm people’s decisions not to learn more about their healthcare, question their doctor’s statements and decisions, etc. rather, i want us to live in a society where such decisions are made from a place of informed consent & genuine desire to limit engagement in one’s healthcare, not from social pressure to defer to medical “authorities” which makes doing otherwise unfathomable.

with all of that being said, if you’re interested in my experience with these topics, i’ll list the info i feel is relevant without doxxing myself lol. i’d like to note that i deeply respect independent researchers and self-taught (or often more accurately, community-taught) community advocates; just because my experience is within academia doesn’t mean that’s the only or the best way to learn these skills, and it often if not always instills biases against disabled people (among many other issues).

bachelor’s of science in biomedical engineering including courses on biomechanics, biomaterials, and other healthcare topics taught by a former medical school professor

half of a master’s degree in biomedical engineering (15/30 credits or 5 classes) before having to drop out for health reasons, including a course on rehabilitation engineering taught by a former medical school professor

research focus on low-cost mobility aids, including for my undergraduate senior project. i received a national undergraduate research award and multiple grants from my university for research projects

National Science Foundation Research Experience for Undergraduates (NSF REU) participant; i was paid for ten weeks of full-time research on a project related to healthcare and mobility. my boss was a licensed physical therapist and physical therapy professor with a doctorate in neuroscience

master’s degree in disability studies; i conducted individual interviews and focus groups with disabled people for my thesis

my girlfriend of 6 years who i live with is a third-year medical student (as of february 2023) and we regularly discuss (and critique) her course material, in addition to me asking her to review information i’m unsure about

8 years & counting of lived experience with chronic pain, chronic illness, & medical neglect. i’ve spent about 5 ½ years in disability spaces and learning from other disabled people in person & virtually, and my gf & i have dedicated significant time to researching my symptoms and test results for almost two years (in addition to retroactively researching previous procedures & diagnoses while unable to access care for a few years)

you’re welcome to dm me or send an ask if you have any questions! some information that would super indicate my identity i’m not comfortable sharing, but questions about learning particular research skills etc i’m happy to answer