#I genuinely experience hallucinations it's just offensive usually.

[sophieinwonderland]

r u a troll or nah? be honest

Nah.

I mean, not in the traditional sense.

Everything I say on this blog my genuine opinion.

I do occasionally make pseudo-bait posts to start a conversation. These are usually sharing honest opinions in provocative ways that I expect to be harmless to pro-endos but upsetting to anti-endos. These might take the form of, say, talking about sharing resources to teach people to "dissociate and hallucinate."

People who follow me and share my worldview know that I'm talking about switching and imposition guides, which yes, involve both dissociation and hallucinations respectively but are generally non-pathological and even healthy.

But to anti-endos who see all dissociation and hallucinations as unhealthy (in contrast to actual modern psychiatric views), this is a horrible thing to say and I'm hurting people by saying it. 🙄

And then when they respond, it gives me an opportunity to reiterate how these experiences are not, in fact, inherently harmful according to actual psychologists.

Of course, most of my posts aren't doing that. What happens more often is that I have an opinion that's primarily meant to serve another purpose that just happens to be upsetting to anti-endos.

For example, the primary goal of my "The Holy Trinity is Plural" posts is to empower Christian plurals to talk about their religion and show that their existence is validated by their faith. The secondary goal is to hopefully win over Christian singlets so that they might support plurals as we seek equality and recognition.

But obviously, religion is deeply personal and anti-endo Christians will take deep, personal offense to posts like that. These posts aren't intended to offend. But neither is protecting the feelings of bigots my priority. Rather than posting these with the purpose of upsetting anti-endos, the goal is supporting pro-endos. The hurt feelings of religious anti-endos that it may cause just isn't a concern of mine in the slightest.

The road to acceptance will be paved with a lot of anti-endos getting their feelings hurt. And if hurting the feelings of Christian anti-endos by saying the Trinity is an endogenic system is the price of helping pro-endos be more comfortable with their religion and help them explain their experiences to others, that's a price I'm more than okay with paying. 🤷‍♀️

[psychotic-psypport]

Hi! I've been scrolling through tumblr before and I see posts referencing delusions, such as believing you are a god or have special powers. Is this not normal? Because I have had periods of time where I've believed things such as the trees where telling me stories, I had the power to ward off dark spirits, and that im actually an immortal thats been reincarnated. Although, I've always either stopped believeing them or just said they where fake (ie they werent that strong in the first place). But I thought everyone did this? Or are these specific symptoms of physcosis? Im not trying to be offensive here, just genuinely curious. Thanks!

Hi! You're not offensive for asking a question!! And as for normal, I would say that no, by the usual standards, that is not "normal". Most people who are not experiencing psychosis do not hold beliefs like this. If you genuinely believe these things on some level, even if you're somewhat aware of it being false, the belief itself is the delusion. Not everyone experiences this, and I get where you're coming from in saying you thought they did. I had the same thoughts about my hallucinations, I thought they were just par for the course.

[stellar-imagines]

SCENARIO REQUEST: ❝nightmare quirk.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Class 1-A ]

「Scenario featuring S/O with a Nightmare quirk.」

As a person who aspires to become a Hero, UA is definitely your first choice to go for high school. The written exam went well and you were confident that you passed it but the practical exam was a tough one. Since your quirk wasn't really an offensive one, you trained a lot to make up for it. You were aware of your weaknesses and worked hard to make up for it. Initially, you lacked direct combat abilities but before applying for UA, you trained a lot. But that still wasn't enough for you.

Luckily, you had managed to secure a bit of points in the practical exam and honestly, you barely made it to UA. It was expected that you didn't get to the Hero Course but it still frustrated you. There were tons of people who had quirks more associated with Hero Work and unfortunately, you were born with a quirk not suitable for combat. So you were forced into the General Studies department. Even so, that didn't stop you from wanting to become a Hero.

The first friend you made was Shinsou because of the similarity. You don't have that many friends with how your quirk was perceived. A quirk that makes people relieve their worst nightmare, cause hallucinations, that's pretty much evil in everyone's book. A majority of your classmates feared your quirk, along with those who are aware of your power tried to stay away from you. Shinsou was the same and the two of you befriended each other when you were coincidentally teamed up for a group project.

Together with Shinsou, you made your debut in the Sports Festival, earning praise and an immense amount of support from your classmates who look up to you and Shinsou now. It's nice to be accepted and admired after a long time of being shunned. They were really supportive and helps you in any way they can to get you to the Hero Course. Class 1-A is more than happy to have you in their class. The girls are excited to have another female in their group and some of the boys—especially Kaminari and Mineta, are excited. Having a new student in the middle of the semester is a bit refreshing. But of course, this class tends to over-welcome people unconsciously. 

"[Last Name]!" Mineta and Kaminari screeched in unison when you stood in front of the class to introduce yourself. The last time you saw them was during the joint training and they seem well. The two boys seem to be too excited to your liking though.

Unlike most people you've known, the students from the Hero Course accepted you quite easily. They think it's amazing that your hard work and dedication. Students from 1-A are super friendly and it was easy to befriend them. At first, it was a bit unnerving to have people accept you so quickly. Years of being shunned had given you the ability to read people's behavior. The one who's interested in your quirk the most is tied between Tokoyami and Midoriya. It's because Tokoyami is fond of darkness and other related concepts, often going off saying that he's a creature of the dark. Not to mention, he makes dramatic speeches. As for Midoriya, everyone knows he's a nerd and is genuinely interested in your quirk. 

"So how does it actually work!? Can you control how far your smoke extends and can you see what your opponent is dreaming about? Where does the smoke come from? Your hands?" Midoriya had his notebook open and actively asking you questions. Uraraka and Asui had invited you to each lunch together. Midoriya, Iida, and Todoroki had come after the three of you settled down.

"Um, well....." you rubbed your cheek, clearly overwhelmed by his questions. He looked like a fan who has known you for a long time.

Everyone is pretty chill with your quirk, mainly because they've seen how hard you were doing during the joint training. As it was an entrance exam for you to see if you have the potential to be in the Hero Course, you went all out. You've received training from a lot of teachers who saw your potential, to be precise, Midnight took you under her wing and whipped you into shape.

"I want to see what Bakugou is afraid of."

"I'm not afraid of shit!" the mentioned male shot back before downing whatever drink he had in his mug.

"Come on, Bakugou! There has to be something that even you're afraid of!" Kirishima said, suddenly curious.

"Even if I do, why would I need to tell you extras." Bakugou scoffed.

"We can even do a haunted house with [Last Name]-chan's quirk as its main attraction!" Kaminari pointed out with a smile, looking like he had suggested a brilliant idea. Everyone makes this kind of talk from time to time and it's nice to know that no one thinks that your quirk is too villainous.

"Well, everyone has something they're afraid of. It might be over something so ridiculous that it embarrasses you. I'm sure Bakugou is afraid of something that he doesn't want anyone to know so, we should respect that." you said calmly, turning your attention to the ash blonde who clicked his tongue.

"Like I said, I'm afraid of nothing."

The boys began teasing him for being so shy and the calm night you expected to have, became a lively one. Living in the dorms with the students from 1-A was different from when you were with your old classmates. Most of the time, you spend the night in your room but here, you were dragged into things. Especially by the girls. They were nice people but being the person who barely talked with anyone and avoided most of the time, you always feel uneasy. When they had a conversation, you stayed silent. They invite you for girl activities but you usually just sit at the side awkwardly until one of them drags you into their antics. It takes a lot of time to get comfortable but they were really patient and nice throughout the entire time.

"[First Name]-chan! We're friends so don't be shy!" Ashido tugged your arm and leaned her head against your shoulder.

"But I've never done this kind of thing before, it's my first time, what am I supposed to do?" you questioned when the Asui and Uraraka came back with a handful of snacks.

"We eat, we watch some videos, gossip, play some games, share secrets and many more! There's nothing you're supposed to do. This is a girls' night where we girls just gather in the common area and we pretty much have the whole space to ourselves for tonight because of the agreement we made with the boys when we moved in." Uraraka explained whilst opening a bag of chips.

"What's most important is that you enjoy yourself." Hagakure said to you.

"Come on, [First Name], let's play something together." Jirou urged.

The Nightmare quirk is capable of a few things. First, you emit smoke from your body which is black in color which surrounds your target and traps them in some sort of illusion where they can see hallucinations of their nightmare. During this state, they can't pinpoint your location and are immobilized. You need ultimate concentration to see whatever they're hallucinating which often leaves you vulnerable. Second, you can shift into their nightmare, if its a fear that has a physical form, you can take that form. But if it's something like a nightmare of a bad experience, you will turn into smoke and continue to make them relieve it.

The proper way of using this is to figure out their nightmare first before shifting. The only way to break out of the illusion is to have someone snap you out of it or overcome the nightmare itself.

"Yikes....I saw my life flashed before my eyes." Kaminari shivered.

"It was like a true horror experience." Ashido muttered.

"Sorry guys." you mumbled apologetically.

"It's not your fault that these two got caught in your quirk. Bakugou ended up carrying them. We almost won, too." Kirishima chuckled, pointing at the ash blonde who looked exhausted. Today was team practice, you were paired with Kirishima and Jirou going up against Kaminari, Ashido, and Bakugou.

"You're always worried about your opponents that it makes you vulnerable at times. If it weren't for Kirishima, Bakugou would've already whooped your ass." Jirou sighed with a small smile.

"Don't you fucking hold back next time, idiot." Bakugou narrowed his eyes at you when you shuffled to the spectator's side.

"I'll do my best."

Total: 1437 words Published: 21.09.2019

We’re open for some limited edition prompts featuring Fall and Halloween! Read more here!

Thank you for requesting! *｡٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و*｡ I hope when you say imagine, you mean scenarios..... Originally, this was supposed to be headcanons but we changed our minds. I have a small project that I’m supposed to complete in a few days but here I am, publishing requests. Internet is being so slow or is it my internet? ― author Hibiki/Lou

Thank you for requesting! As usual, we put too much thought on this that it delayed our publishing time. We’ve been getting a lot of requests, it makes us so happy that there are people who are happy to share their ideas with us. So, sorry to make you wait, we’ll do our best! ― author Natsuki

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

[i-love-you-go-away]

My Experience with BPD

1. Frantic attempts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

I’m very lucky to have a loving and understanding boyfriend who genuinely believes in my worth as a person. We’ve been dating for nearly ten years and we communicate very well. Despite this, I have recurring fears that he will suddenly and unexpectedly leave me or is harbouring secret resentment. Often when we fight or argue or even just disagree, I can abruptly find myself panicking, apologizing, promising to be better just please don’t go away please love me again please I’m scared. It comes out of nowhere and it surprises me every time. Sometimes I can talk myself through it: it’s okay, he’s just upset, he will be there tomorrow morning, I promise. But sometimes I get carried away with it.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

Before I met my boyfriend, the only relationships I’d had were abusive or massively one-sided. Friendships are obsessions for me and I can only seem to have one at a time. I can be friendly with people and I’ve been told I’m very kind and easy to talk to but I don’t really have friends. I can’t decide if I love a person or hate them. Being aware of this problem, I try to stay on the love side of the split and just avoid getting to know anyone deeply or letting anyone know me. I have difficulty interpreting others’ feeling and usually assume their opinions about me are negative. I usually disappear from places and people who have become too familiar.

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

I don’t know who I am. I have large gaps in my autobiographical memory. I can’t decide what kind of person I want to be or what career I want or what colour is my favourite. When I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize that person who looks back. Inside my mind I have several voices (I think of them as the child, the teenager, and the adult, although they do have names) who each have opinions and feelings and thoughts of their own. They fight constantly with each other to be in control of the body that they are forced to share. I’ve had this experience of being fragmented since I was about 10 years old, when I first remember “hearing” thoughts that didn’t seem to belong to me. Sometimes I hate myself and sometimes I care for myself. My likes and dislikes change frequently and without warning.

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging.

When I drink or smoke weed, I have trouble stopping when it’s becoming a problem. My father was missing from a lot of my childhood because of addiction, so I’m very careful about using substances. It’s hard for me to resist continuously using or doing something that makes me feel good, to the point that it becomes very unhealthy. I spend money I know I need for important things like bills or rent or food because I feel good for like ten minutes when I have a new thing. I binge on food, sex, drugs, and internet. I feel very guilty and ashamed of this behaviour but I still have difficulty stopping myself before the consequences start to become obvious. I have difficulty planning or preparing for things properly or I misjudge my ability to wing it. This is something I’m getting better at self-regulating since I finished a course of DBT.

5. Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.

I was ten years old the first time I hurt myself on purpose. I did it because I felt angry and embarrassed and I felt like I needed to be punished somehow. When I was 14 I started cutting and burning myself. At 15 I added disordered eating to the ways I could harm my body. When I was 17 I attempted suicide. After I met my boyfriend I promised myself I would stop doing those things. Despite that promise, I still hit or bite myself in episodes of extreme stress, still think about suicide on a daily basis, still have trouble feeding or taking care of myself.

6. Affective instability due to marked reactivity of mood.

My moods fluctuate wildly in the course of a day. It really feels like a spin-the-wheel kind of emotional landscape. I can feel intensely depressed for the morning, suddenly recover happiness and optimism and then have a five-hour panic attack. I often cannot handle how extreme my emotions become; all sadness becomes despair, all happiness becomes euphoria, all anxiety becomes terror. I take personal offense to things that aren’t meant to hurt me. I feel intense shame when I make small mistakes or mildly inconvenience others.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.

Especially when alone, I feel a sense of numbness, like nothing touches me, nothing interests me, nothing has meaning or worth. It feels like I only exist when people are looking at me. If I’m not feeling a feeling then what am I? I have difficulty remembering what feeling a different way was like.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger

I don’t scream at or fight with other people; usually I turn all anger towards myself. When I get angry, it’s a hot flash of pain inside my brain that needs to be suppressed immediately or I will hurt myself. I excessively control anger to the point where I almost never feel it, instead I feel shame or sadness. I’m trying to learn how to recognize and appropriately express anger instead of denying it so deeply that it hurts me.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

When I’m very stressed I hear voices. Not hallucinations - the voices are in my mind. They’re the voices I mentioned above, but louder and much more intrusive. I start to think that I am pieces and I forget how to be a single person. Sometimes I have amnesia or act very strangely. I also become vulnerable to delusions, usually guilt or shame-based, and paranoia. I begin to believe that the people in my life are lying to me, sparing me from the reality of my inherent badness. Although I logically know it isn’t true right now, when I have these episodes  I lose touch with reality.

[theramseyloft]

Please don't compare autistic people to animals. It's super not cool.

I’m assuming you’re referring to this quote from the ask about pigeons and parrots.

“And if your mom is prepared for that and able to deal with what amounts to an autistic 5 year old with wings who can scream literally as loud as a jet taking off and bite through a broom handle for the next 60-80 years, then awesome!More parrots deserve a home that’s actually prepared for them!”

And I am sorry if that was offensive to any one. Another friend pointed out that it might be, so I went back and made the following edit to the post, immediately following the paragraph above.

“(Before any one gets concerned, I am autistic! I do not describe parrots this way as an insult. The similarities are just glaring to me, and if the thought of living with an autistic human child is upsetting, you should really rethink getting a parrot.)”

I stated at the beginning of the post that I’m not good with words either. 

Writing is the way I communicate most eloquently. I literally can’t talk like this vocally, unless I’ve spent HOURS practicing.

If I don’t mean any harm by it, I often can’t see how it could be hurtful, and I depend on more socially adept followers and friends to take me aside and point things out when I miss them.

I did not make the comparison for shock value or to degrade any one.

I am autistic. 

The similarities are genuinely glaring, to me.

I see myself and other people like me in every complaint I have ever heard some one make when they got rid of a parrot.

“It’s too loud!” “It destroys EVERYTHING!” “It won’t let me cuddle when *I* want to!” “It won’t stop plucking!” “I’m scared of it.” “It’s food/toys/housing/care/ is too expensive!”

All leads to:

“I don’t want it anymore!”

Parrots are BRILLIANT! 

Not only are they incredible mimics, but they are amazingly mechanically adept! They LOVE puzzles and climbing and they need TONS of time and mental stimulation! Space to play and forage! Toys they can destroy with out getting hurt. The company of some one that understands their needs and their behaviors.

They are adapted to live in HUGE flocks! Screeching that carries for miles keeps them in contact with each other.

Screeching is not bad behavior for a parrot. It’s just calling out to see if some one will answer. Cockatoos especially genuinely NEED loud, excited time!

Humans that vocally stim are not misbehaving. They NEED to make noise to express emotion.

Expecting a parrot or the humans who need to vocally stim to keep silent all the time is TERRIBLE for their mental health! It stresses both unspeakably to bottle that up, especially if they are loud because they’re happy or excited!

Loud time is necessary, and people who think they want a parrot have to be ok with and prepared for that. 

Parrot’s thick, powerful beaks are designed to cut, crush, and splinter.They eat hard nuts, tough fruits, and many species chew through wood to make nest holes. They even use their beaks as an extra hand to climb.

They are not being bad when they bite.

They don’t usually mean to bite hard. But human hands are fragile, and biting hard enough to hurt is really easy to do by accident.

I accidentally put one of my elementary school teachers in the hospital by running up and hugging her as tight as I could. 

I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was just SO overwhelmingly happy to see her, and it didn’t dawn on me that I even could have.

People who think they want a parrot need to be prepared for the fact that they don’t innately know how hard is too hard, or that they can hurt their handler without meaning to.

Scared, cornered parrots can inflict a LOT of damage attempting to defend themselves or their eggs from The Scary Thing!

They aren’t being bad when they do that either.

It’s usually a misunderstanding. 

Bird warning signs are just not intuitive to humans, and when we want to touch a pet, we tend to insist the pet be ok with that when ever we want them to be with little to no regard for its comfort.

You guys have NO idea how afraid I was of the neurotypical kids who seemed to go out of their way to harass me, bully me, and kill or destroy things I liked because my behavior was not normal.

They’d be friendly one second and hateful the next, from my perspective, and not knowing what to expect made me skittish and defensive and withdrawn.

People that think they want a parrot need to be prepared to learn to understand enough of its behavior to know when it’s receptive to interaction and when it’s overstimulated pr afraid and needs its boundaries to be respected.

You also need to understand that all parrots tamed by imprinting are at least some degree of mentally ill.

Mental illness and neurotype are not the same thing.

There is nothing wrong with an autistic person. We are healthy people whose brains process and store and retrieve information differently from what is more common and thus considered typical.

Mental illness is usually caused by physical or emotional trauma or neglect.

Let’s start with the fact that the vast majority of parrots do not get to live their lives as parrots.

They are removed from their parents and raised by humans, which is, let me remind you, genuinely necessary for them to be safe to handle in captivity.

Imprinting, as stated in the post, does not just make an animal think you are its mother. 

A birds entire species identity is conveyed through imprinting. “This is what you are, this is your social structure, these are your normal behaviors, this is what you eat, how you live, what you should be sexually attracted to.”

Parrots raised by humans think that they are human because that’s what imprinting does.But all of its instinctual urges will be parrot, and they will not match the thing it has imprinted on, which leads to a LOT of the miscomunication that stresses the bird and overwhelms the owner.

Humans don’t imprint, but I can tell you from experience that there is a disconnect between the way neurotypical and autistic humans think and process and interact with the world just drastic enough that it makes it hard to communicate effectively, despite being the same species and speaking the same language.

It’s incredibly frustrating, and with out any indication that the other can understand you, you just... give up and withdraw. 

People who think they want a parrot need to understand that a withdrawn bird doesn’t hate them and isn’t being bad. Its attempts to communicate have failed and it has given up.

An understanding of psitticine body language will go a LONG way to prevent this issue.

Most pet parrots live functionally alone and spend most of their time confined to their cage. They may never see another bird of their species, or even another bird, period, in their lives.

Look at most parrot cages on the market and the species they are marketed as suitable for.Most parrot cages are just display stands, barely large enough for the bird to stretch its wings out all the way, never mind flying or climbing or engaging in any natural behaviours!

And keep in mind that these are wild animals, less than ten generations into domestication.

Adapting to confinement takes GENERATIONS of selective breeding, and all ethics aside, parrots just haven’t had the TIME!

An intelligent, intensely social animal used to traveling great distances, spending a lot of time foraging and relying on chewing to get almost every comfort met from food to nests will hallucinate, pace, tear up its enclosure, lash out at its handlers, and eventually self mutilate when deprived of all social interaction, mental stimulation, physical activity, and behavioral outlets necessary to reduce stress.

Sound familiar?

Parrots don’t get to choose who they live with. Autistic humans don't get to choose who they are born to or who becomes their care taker. And the consequances of willingly or accidentally failing to meet their needs are STRIKINGKLY similar.

I am sorry if that is offensive.

I was not drawing attention to these parallels to say “Parrots are terrible because they are like autistic people!” 

I am pointing them out as food for thought to remind people to respect that their needs are complex, not especially intuitive to the typical joe, and if you want one, you need to be prepared to spend the next 60-80 years doing your best to keep the commitment you made to meet them all.