#I got to the b-side of pas de deux and was like

[bubblesthemonsterartist]

2022 Creator’s Self-Love Extravaganza

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works (fics, art, edits, etc.) you’ve created this year and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2022. If you don’t have five published works, that’s fine! Include ideas/drafts/whatever you like that you’ve worked on/thought about, and talk a little about them instead! Remember, this is all about self-love and positive enthusiasm, so fuck the rules if you need to. Have fun, and tag as many fellow creators as you like so they can share the love!

@thelionshymnal dug this one up and while they didn't tag me, I felt the tag in my heart. Therefore, I pulled out the original rules with a little under 24 hours before the calendar flips over to a new year, I think I am safe in saying that my word count for the year is complete.

I did not write a lot this year! Comparatively, at least.* A mere 25,682 words have gone to publish. But it's also been a very disruptive year in that I quit my job of 5+ years, got rid of ALL of my stuff that couldn't fit into a tiny car, drove seven days cross country to a New Better Shinier Job (while writing a final paper), rented a 10 x 10 room above a garage for several months where my cat was very kind by not murdering me, dropped everything to sit at my dad's deathbed, went right back to work the following Monday, finished yet another graduate degree, went on a trip to Maine with friends, moved AGAIN to a much larger much more private space, and uhhh... signed up for yet another degree program. Because I have a problem. Clearly. Oh and I also broke a bone for the first time in my life! It's in my foot! I haven't gone out to do ANYTHING other than get groceries for the last two weeks and it sucks!

2022 has been a lot! More good than bad and overall improvement of everything, but a lot! And I've wanted to write. I've thought a lot about it in the moments before falling asleep! But any progress is still progress and my body comes first these days because in this house we practice self-care.

That being said, what I have put out, I've been immensely proud of. So, in no particular order and without further ado...

On the Event of the Annual Lilias Recruit Hazing Final Exam (ans, gen)

I wrote third person limited! For the first time! It was weird but also a fun to write something where the audience only has the interactions and body language to read.

2. where mended hearts meet (obiyuki, 🍋)

While I haven't been writing proper most of the year, I have been obsessing over @onedivinemisfit's camboy!obi au. It's been my personal problem, like, ever since she first introduced the concept for it and I've been screaming about it every chance that I get. Part of me much much wants to write the whole thing, but also acknowledged that I did not have the time. But also also I knew I was not going to be productive about anything at ALL until I wrote at least a little smutty smut for it. I mean, two consenting adults who are very accommodating of one anothers kinks and traumas? Sign me the fuck up, let's do this.

3. Drabble-Drabble 2022 Challenge (multiple fandoms, multiple pairings, all ratings)

Perhaps because I haven't had a chance to really focus on my writing this year, I wanted to do something uncomplicated. I remember loving drabbles back in my livejournal days. Just being absolutely laid out by 100 words precisely. But I'd never tried it myself so I wanted to give it a shot! I asked and y'all sent in around 30 prompts and I answered 26! It was a blast, highly recommend to anyone out there that wants to try their hand at it.

4. Seven Nights, Night 7 (Hakuouki, Yamachi, 🍋)

I had a moment when I went to see the timestamps of the chapters I worked on this year and it was literally just Night 7 of Seven Nights. It's split into three chapters, but it's 14k words just leading up to the final night, I don't even know what to say, y'all. Yamazaki is just real shy and writing two virgins was a lot harder than I thought (and I already thought it was going to be difficult!). I do really love it, though, they're adorable.

5. Stone Soup (Spy x Family, Yor & Yuri)

I would be remiss if I didn't include the final posted fic of the year (and my first foray into the sxf fandom!). Not only did I write a child's pov, I got to incorporate some real mean food feels into it. All together a real good time! XD

Okay! I've done it! I've said the nice things about me! Now I shall tag people, hmmm... @spoonyglitteraunt @sabraeal @claudeng80 @onedivinemisfit @infinitelystrangemachinex and anyone else who wants a go!

*Word count by year since 2016:

2016- 97,273 2017- 167,645 2018- 138,769 2019- 130,429 2020- 126,435 2021- 91,014 2022- 25,682

[jpbjazz]

LÉGENDES DU JAZZ

JOHNNY GRIFFIN, LE SAXOPHONISTE QUI JOUAIT PLUS VITE QUE SON OMBRE

"I got so excited when I played and I still do. I want to eat up the music like a child eating candy."

- Johnny Griffin

Né à Chicago le 24 avril 1928, John Arnold Griffin III était le fils d’un cornettiste et d’une chanteuse. La famille Griffin résidait dans le South Side.

Après avoir étudié le piano durant quatre ans, Griffin avait commencé à jouer de la guitare hawaïenne. Il avait ensuite appris la clarinette avant de passer au hautbois puis au saxophone alto.

Lors de ses études au DuSable High School, Griffin avait eu comme professeur le légendaire Walter ‘’Captain’’ Dyett, qui avait formé de grandes vedettes du jazz comme Nat ‘’King’’ Cole, Dinah Washington, Gene Ammons et Von Freeman. Même si Johnny était très désireux de jouer du saxophone alto, Dyett avait insisté pour qu’il se fasse d’abord les dents sur une clarinette. Lors de ses études secondaires, Griffin avait joué dans un groupe scolaire surnommé le ‘’Baby Band.’’

Griffin avait douze ans lorsqu’il avait entendu le saxophoniste ténor Gene Ammons jouer dans le big band de King Kolax au Parkway Ballroom de Chicago. Deux ans plus tard, Griffin s’était acheté un saxophone alto et s’était trouvé un emploi dans le groupe du bluesman T-Bone Walker.

Outre Ammons, Griffin avait également été influencé par Charlie Parker et Dizzy Gillespie, qu’il avait entendus jouer dans l’orchestre de Billy Eckstine en 1945. Griffin admirait également le son de Johnny Hodges et Ben Webster. Dans le cadre de sa collaboration au livre ‘’Talking Jazz’’, Griffin avait reconnu: "These cats were really my masters; to me, the greatest soun"These cats were really my masters; to me, the greatest sounds ever."

DÉBUTS DE CARRIÈRE

Trois jours après avoir obtenu son diplôme, Griffin avait été embauché pour jouer dans le big band de Lionel Hampton, qui se trouvait alors à Toledo, en Ohio. Une fois parvenu sur les lieux, Griffin avait été informé qu’il devrait jouer du saxophone ténor et non de l’alto, ce qui l’avait obligé à retourner chez lui en catastrophe, car il avait laissé son ténor à la maison. Mais Griffin n’entendait pas laisser passer sa chance, d’autant plus qu’il préférait le ténor à l’alto. C’est d’ailleurs avec Hampton que Griffin avait fait son premier enregistrement en 1945 à l’âge de dix-sept ans.

Au milieu de l’année 1947, Griffin avait formé un sextet de R & B avec Joe Morris, un ancien membre de l’orchestre de Hampton. Le groupe comprenait également des musiciens locaux comme le guitariste George Freeman. Griffin était demeuré avec le groupe jusqu’en 1950. Au cours de son passage dans le groupe de Morris, Griffin s’était fait un nom en jouant avec de grosses pointures comme Philly Joe Jones, Percy Heath, Joe Jones, Gene Ramey et Arnett Cobb.

Griffin était surnommé ‘’Little Giant’’ en raison de sa petite taille qui faisait contraste avec son jeu énergique.

En 1951, Griffin avait joué du saxophone baryton avec un autre septet de R & B, dirigé cette fois par Arnett Cobb, un saxophoniste avec qui il avait joué lors de sa collaboration avec Lionel Hampton.

La même année, Griffin avait été forcé de faire son service militaire avec sept autres Afro-Américains originaires du Southside. Lorsque les huit Noirs avaient appris qu’ils devaient être affectés à Fort Chaffee, en Arkansas, ils avaient refusé, car ils savaient quel sort les attendaient les États du Sud. Le groupe avait finalement été assigné à Hawaï.

Lors de son passage dans le groupe de l’armée, Griffin avait appris qu’une ouverture s’était créée pour un joueur de hautbois. Lors de son audition, Griffin avait tellement impressionné le colonel recruteur qu’on lui avait immédiatement donné le poste. Les sept autres Noirs avaient été envoyés en Corée, où la plupart d’entre eux avaient éventuellement perdu la vie. Reconnaissant, Griffin avait plus tard déclaré que le hautbois lui avait sauvé la vie.

Après sa démobilisation en 1953, Griffin avait passé quelques années à Chicago avant de retourner à New York où il avait joué brièvement avec les pianistes Bud Powell et Elmo Hope, avant d’être recruté en 1957 par Art Blakey pour jouer avec les Jazz Messengers dont Thelonious Monk faisait également partie à l’époque. Même si le séjour de Griffin dans le groupe de Blakey avait été bref, cela avait suffi à lui faire un nom et lui avait permis de démarrer sa carrière solo avec les disques Riverside. C’est d’ailleurs lors de son passage avec les Messengers que Griffin s’était mérité son surnom de ‘’Little Giant’’, qu’il avait d’ailleurs utilisé comme titre d’un de ses albums en 1959.

Peu après avoir quitté les Messengers, Griffin avait remplacé John Coltrane dans le groupe de Thelonious Monk dont il avait fait partie jusqu’au milieu des années 1960. Désireux d’aider son protégé, Monk avait fortement encouragé le producteur Orrin Keepnews des disques Riverside à faire signer un contrat à Griffin, mais ce dernier avait déjà signé avec Blue Note.

Il n’était pas toujours facile de travailler avec Monk, qui était doté d’une personnalité assez excentrique. Dans le livre ‘’Talking Jazz’’, Griffin expliquait:

"I found it difficult at times, I mean, DIFFICULT. I enjoying playing with him, enjoying playing music, but when I'm playing my solos… the way his comping [accompaniment] is so strong … it's almost like you're in a padded cell. I mean, trying to express yourself, because his music, with him comping, is so overwhelming, like it's almost like you're trying to break out of a room made of marshmallows."

Ce qui n’avait pas empêché Griffin de considérer Monk comme un de ses meilleurs partenaires. Il précisait: "The way he composed, the logic of his compositions, immensely influenced me.’’

En 1956, Griffin avait enregistré son premier disque comme leader, un album intitulé ‘’Introducing Johnny Griffin.’’ Participaient aussi à l’enregistrement le pianiste Wynton Kelly, le contrebassiste Curly Russell et le batteur Max Roach. L’album avait été chaleureusement accueilli par la critique.

La même année, Griffin avait formé un sextet avec le saxophoniste baryton Pepper Adams et le trompettiste Donald Byrd, deux musiciens de Detroit.

L’EXIL

Après son séjour chez les Messengers, Griffin avait retrouvé Monk dans son quartet qui se produisait alors au Five Spot de New York avec John Coltrane. On peut entendre Griffin sur les albums de Monk ‘’Thelonious in Action’’ et ‘’Mysterioso.’’

Toujours en 1957, Griffin avait participé avec Coltrane et Hank Mobley à l’enregistrement du légendaire album ‘’A Blowin’ Session.’’ L’année suivante, Griffin avait collaboré avec le trompettiste Clark Terry dans le cadre de l’enregistrement de l’album ‘’Serenade to a Bus Seat’’. La section rythmique était composée de Wynton Kelly au piano, de Paul Chambers à la contrebasse et de Philly Joe Jones à la batterie.

La même année, Griffin avait formé son propre sextet, avec lequel il avait enregistré un album éponyme. Parmi les membres du groupe, on retrouvait le trompettiste Donald Byrd et le pianiste Kenny Drew.

Griffin, qu’on considérait souvent d’un tempérament trop enjoué pour interpréter des pièces tristes, avait finalement donné tort à ses détracteurs en enregistrant en 1961 un hommage à Billie Holiday intitulé ‘’White Gardenia’’, en référence à la fleur portée par la chanteuse depuis qu’elle s’était brûlée la joue dans un incident. A la fin de sa carrière, Griffin avait d’ailleurs commencé à se spécialiser dans les balades.

En 1960, Griffin avait fondé un grand orchestre de quatorze membres surnommé le Big Soul Band, qui comprenait le trompettiste Clark Terry et le pianiste Bobby Timmons. De 1960 à 1962, Griffin avait forma un quintet avec le saxophoniste ténor Eddie ‘’Lockjaw’’ Davis dont il partageait la sonorité sensuelle et rauque.

Lassé des États-Unis et de son mépris envers le jazz, Griffin avait décidé de s’installer à Paris en 1963. En réalité, d’autres facteurs étaient à l’origine du départ de Griffin, dont les taxes trop élevées, l’échec de son mariage et le soutien accordé par la critique au free jazz. Plutôt bien accueilli en Europe, Griffin jouait régulièrement dans des clubs de jazz comme celui de Ronnie Scott à Londres. Comme saxophoniste, Griffin était souvent le premier choix des musiciens américains qui étaient de passage en Europe dans les années 1960 et 1970. Il avait aussi accompagné d’autres musiciens américains en exil comme Bud Powell, Kenny Clarke, Kenny Drew et Art Taylor.

Même si Griffin s’était installé définitivement en Europe, il retournait chaque année à Chicago durant la semaine de son anniversaire de naissance afin de participer au Jazz Showcase. Griffin terminait habituellement sa visite en se produisant durant une semaine au Village Vanguard de New York.

En France, Griffin avait enregistré plusieurs albums avec des sections rythmiques européennes pour les étiquettes Storyville, Black Lion et Steeplechase.

En 1965, Griffin avait également collaboré avec le guitariste Wes Montgomery. En 1967, Griffin avait brièvement rejoint le pianiste Thelonious Monk avec qui il avait fait une tournée en Europe. Trois ans plus tard, Griffin avait retrouvé son vieil ami Eddie ‘’Lockjaw’’ Davis avec lequel il avait enregistré l’album ‘’Tough Tenors Again ‘n’ Again.’’ Griffin a également collaboré avec le Big 7 de Dizzy Gillespie dans le cadre du Festival de jazz de Montreux. De 1967 à 1969, Griffin avait aussi été un des principaux solistes du Kenny Clarke-Francis Boland Big Band, dans lequel il avait joué au sein d’une excellente section de cuivres composée entre autres de Ronnie Scott et Sahib Shihab.

1975 avait été une année importante pour Griffin, qui était devenu membre des grands orchestres de Dizzy Gillespie et Count Basie avec qui il avait participé au Festival de jazz de Montreux. Griffin avait également travaillé avec le saxophoniste allemand Klaus Doldinger dans le cadre du groupe de fusion Passport.

À la fin des années 1970, Griffin était retourné aux États-Unis afin d’enregistrer pour les disques Galaxy. Il avait aussi fait une tournée avec le saxophoniste Dexter Gordon. Griffin a également enregistré avec le big band de Peter Herbolzheimer, un orchestre tout-étoile qui comprenait notamment Nat Adderley, Derek Watkins, Art Farmer, Slide Hampton, Stan Getz, Gerry Mulligan, ‘’Toots’ Thielemans, Niels-Henning Orsted-Pedersen et Quincy Jones comme arrangeur. Griffin avait aussi enregistré avec le quintet de Nat Adderley en 1978. Adderley avait déjà enregistré avec Adderley en 1958.

Toujours en 1978, Griffin avait fait un retour triomphal aux États-Unis avec Dexter Gordon pour jouer au Ann Harbor Blues and Jazz Festival. Le duo avait également enregistré un concert à Carnegie Hall ainsi que l’album ‘’Return of the Griffin.’’

Après être retourné en Europe, Griffin avait décidé de quitter Paris en 1978 pour s’établir sur une ferme aux Pays-Bas. En 1980, Griffin était revenu en France et s’était installé sur la côte d’Azur puis dans la communauté rurale d’Availles-Limouzine quatre ans plus tard.

DERNIÈRES ANNÉES

En 1983, Griffin avait été un des membres fondateurs du groupe européen Three Generations of Tenor Saxophone.

En 1986, Griffin avait collaboré avec le Paris Reunion Band avec Woody Shaw, Dizzy Reece, Slide Hampton et Kenny Drew, avec lequel il avait enregistéa un album sur étiquette Sonet. Durant son séjour en France, Griffin avait également enregistré pour les maisons de disque Antilles et Verve des albums comme ‘’The Cat’’ (1991) et ‘’Chicago, New York, Paris’’ (1994).

En 1992, Griffin avait fait une tournée avec Superband, le groupe tout-étoile de Philip Morris.

À la fin de sa vie, contredisant son peu d’intérêt pour le jazz d’avant-garde, Griffin avait collaboré avec le pianiste algérien Martial Solal et le saxophoniste Steve Grossman.

Johnny Griffin est mort d’un infarctus le 25 juillet 2008 à sa résidence de Mauprévoir, près d’Availles-Limouzine, en France. Il était âgé de quatre-vingt ans. Il laissait dans le deuil son épouse Miriam ainsi que quatre enfants (Jo-Onna, Ingrid, John Arnold et Cynthia).

Johnny Griffin avait présenté son dernier concert à Hyères, en France, le 21 juillet 2008. Son dernier album, ‘’Live at Ronnie Scott’’, a été enregistré à Londres peu avant sa mort.

Pionnier du hard bop, Griffin a longtemps été surnommé ‘’le saxophoniste le plus rapide au monde’’, en raison de la facilité avec laquelle il pouvait exécuter des notes rapides tout en maintenant une excellente intonation. Dans un article publié en 1958 dans le magazine Down Beat, le critique Ralph J. Gleason écrivait:

‘’Unquestionably Johnny Griffin can play the tenor saxophone faster, literally, than anyone else alive…. And in the course of playing with this incredible speed, he also manages to blow longer without refueling than you would ordinarily consider possible. With this equipment he is able to play almost all there could possibly be played in any given chorus."

Johnny Griffin était reconnu non seulement pour son style unique et sa sonorité à la Ben Webster, mais aussi pour sa technique exceptionnelle et ses harmonies complexes. Doté d’une impressionnante culture musicale, Griffin ne se gênait pas pour citer des pièces de musique classique, d’opéra et d’autres styles musicaux comme le gospel et le blues dans le cadre de ses performances. Si dans ses premiers albums, Griffin s’était fait remarquer par sa créativité et sa remarquable dextérité technique, ses derniers enregistrements comme ‘’Bush Dance’’ (1983), ‘’The Cat’’ (1990) et ‘’Chicago, New York, Paris’’ (1994), lui avaient permis de démontrer sa maîtrise des longs solos et sa grande fluidité instrumentale.

Excellent homme d’affaires, Griffin était doté d’un caractère agréable et était très apprécié des autres musiciens. Au cours de sa carrière couvrant six décennies, Griffin n’avait jamais perdu son enthousiasme pour la musique. Il expliquait: "I got so excited when I played and I still do. I want to eat up the music like a child eating candy."

La Berklee College of Music a décerné un doctorat honorifique à Johnny Griffin en 1995. ©-2023-2024, tous droits réservés, Les Productions de l’Imaginaire historique

[fatefulfaerie]

Once Upon A Dream

A very merry February birthday to @snidgetwidgeon. I hope you like it. It’s based on the first couple minutes of this!

It was an understatement to say that Zelda was dissatisfied with who was cast as the Prince to her Sleeping Beauty. It shouldn’t have been a surprise that the new kid would get the role, being one of only three boys in the program. She always hated that boys got praised for landing one measly pirouette while her fouettés on pointe were heavily criticized, but now that one of the boys’ tomfoolery would make her look like a fool in her first lead role, she silently grumbled as she slid her pointe shoe onto her left foot, securing it around her heel with her thumbs.

She was tying the shiny ribbons around her ankle when he walked into the studio, Zelda seeing him out of the corner of her eye and immediately deciding that was enough.

She felt his eyes on her as she continued to pretend she didn’t notice he had entered, Zelda switching over to put on her right shoe.

“Always nice to see my students arriving before I do,” Zelda heard the teacher say as she entered the room and made a B-line for the stereo, placing her purse, notebook, and keys on the wooden stool next to it. Zelda’s head had popped up immediately at the sound of her clunking heels.

“We’ll work on the Act III variation today,” the teacher said as she finnicked with stereo. “Out of order, I know, but I figured it would get you two acquainted with moving with each other. I’m assuming you two have at least met.”

The teacher said that expecting a reply in the affirmative, and thus she turned around when there was nothing spoken to see the two dancers at opposite sides of the room deflecting their gazes from each other. 

It would seem odd that two people who had taken technique classes together for a month now wouldn’t have formally met, but in dance classes you know someone else’s name and skill level within the first fifteen minutes of class, without even speaking a word. Unless they already know each other or become friends, most dancers never truly have a formal introduction to each other.

“Are you seriously going to waste my time being shy?” The teacher asked rhetorically. “Go on.”

“Zelda,” she continued, prompting her star pupil. “Introduce yourself.”

Zelda had to keep from mumbling that she just did.

“I’m Zelda,” she said, finally actually looking her partner in his striking, blue eyes. Zelda denied that her heart fluttered.

“Link,” he said in reply, Zelda unable to help herself from checking him out in his bicep-exposing white shirt and his black tights that gave her a more than fantastic impression of his more private parts. However, if she were asked about Link’s appearance at this very moment, she would deny her attraction and say he was terribly ugly.

Link checked her out similarly, the way her ensemble of a blue leotard and pale pink tights accentuate her curves in the most perfect ways. He knew right then and there that he had a terrible crush on his pas de deux partner.

“Be sure you two warm up to each other before opening night,” the teacher said as she moved to the front of the classroom, her footwear now changed from black wedges to beige jazz shoes.

“All right,” the teacher started, “so you both will start stage left.”

Zelda moved to that side of the room and Link looked as if he wasn’t entirely sure what stage left was until he followed Zelda. Zelda more than noticed this and once again resented Link for existing. If not, they may have gotten an actual professional to partner her.

——————————————————————————————————

Zelda stood in the curtain wings with her hands on her hips, keeping her feet warm by transitioning which one was pointed. 

Her tutu bounced slightly as she did, the silver fabric on top of the corset and the tulle perfectly accentuating her elegance. Link came up beside her as they waited for their entrance.

“Do you still hate me?” Link asked.

They had been rehearsing for almost two months now, and Link had gotten the feeling that their cheeky, sarcastic exchanges between run throughs had meant she had started to warm up to him. Their pas de deux had been running quite smoothly and even the director kept using the phrase “poignant chemistry” to describe their dynamic on stage. Now that they neared the end of their opening show, Link figured he would test the waters.

He didn’t see Zelda smirk, but she did.

“Maybe,” she replied teasingly, continuing to warm up her feet.

“Our queue is coming up,” Link said as he offered his hand, Zelda taking it so he could gently clutch her fingertips as the choreography so deemed.

They walked on stage with pointed toes and fake smiles, presenting themselves to the audience with their muscle-toned legs in effacé devant. They turned their heads towards each other as their smile turned more genuine, Zelda even adorning a blush that was much more than what her stage makeup had been.

The pair moved their outside arms to middle fifth and back to second before stepping forward together, dislodging their hands and, right on the music, assuming a croisé position.

And thus the dance began, Zelda thinking through every step as she did it, and always anticipating the next, while all at once making it look as effortless as possible to the audience.

Temps lié, drift arms to cross in front, rond de jambe to fifth, sous-sus up

Link’s hand in hers was firm and steady as she moved her leg to passé and into a front développé with very little shake. She leaned back into a cambré and met his glance on the way down, now observing his blush.

Fouetté to attitude, stay steady on your box

Link’s hand met her waist with a gentle touch of support, Zelda feeling stable even as she moved her arms in the port de bras. Everything seemed to come easy when dancing with him.

He turned her around as her leg shifted to an arabesque, his hands on either side on her hips until they let go, allowing the audience to clap at her strength.

Sous-sus, run, run, run, run, run to tendu derrière, turn to face Link and

Here it was, this part she had grown to love.

The choreography was for them to run to each other, for their hands to meet as Link lowered into a lunge and Zelda went into a penché that descended her head down to his. Their teacher had referred to it as “the kiss”, although it was only Zelda resting her chin on his to only mimic the appearance of Aurora and the Prince kissing in their happy ending.

The first time they did it in rehearsal, Zelda resisted even going down far enough to touch his chin, and Link himself was too embarrassed to not flinch away from those all-too-tempting lips. Over the next several weeks of rehearsal, however, the two got used to touching chins just as they were meant to.

Yet on this opening night, Link decided just as he lunged that he simply could not resist anymore, not allowing her to rest her chin on his by instead moving his lips to hers.

It was only a small peck, as there was the rest of the dance to do, but as Zelda stepped back from the penché, she smiled, and right then and there Link knew his feelings of love were reciprocated. 

The rest of the pas de deux went smoother than ever and, by the end, no fake smile was necessary. For all Link and Zelda cared, the audience could have withered away and left them alone, together in their unspoken love.

[happycoincidences]

Big Kpop question tag

I was tagged by @myeoning-call thank you!! ♥

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•Song That Got You Into K-Pop: Bae Bae by BigBang. I first clicked on Loser, I wasn’t feeling it completely but liked it enough to give them another chance so I clicked on Bae Bae, that one was on repeat for weeks. 

(Idk... I think I might seem like an older kpop fan but I got into kpop in 2015. I’m one of those people who when getting into sth they really dig further until the origin of a thing, especially when it comes to music. So I know a lot about 1st and 2nd gen too, and I am mainly a fan of 2nd and 3rd gen bc I’m more around the same age as late 2nd gen - 3rd gen kpop idols, we grew up around the same time so I relate to them the most. For reference I am 2 years younger than Gikwang (late 2nd gen) and Yongguk (early 3rd gen), same age as Ken (early 3rd gen) and Sunmi (late 2nd gen). I heard about Kpop before 2015 ofc but i was in an industrial/obscure electronic music fase before kpop)

• Song That Gets Stuck In Your Head: The Chaser by Infinite is an earworm

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• Fav. Male Group: When it comes to male groups, I make the distinction between ults and mains (ults are the most important, but “main” means I listen to them all the time as well, I just don’t feel as connected to them as people).

Ult: B.A.P, Highlight/Beast, iKON, VIXX

Main: BigBang (they were my first group which is special but I feel less connected to them than with my ults), SHINee, TVXQ/JYJ, H.O.T, SuperM, NCT (WayV mainly), 2PM, Super Junior, Block B 

• Fav. Female Group: Wonder Girls, 2NE1, f(x), Orange Caramel, Brown Eyed Girls, 9Muses, Ladies’ Code, T-Ara, Kara, 3ye

• Fav. Underrated Male Group: “B.A.P we didn’t deserve them”  <- agreed!

• Fav. Underrated Female Group: Spica

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• Fav. Male Soloist: Lee Gikwang, Taemin, Bang Yongguk, G-Dragon, Jonghyun, Woodz, Ash Island (last one is actually khh, and Yongguk used to be kpop but I guess he’s more khh now)

• Fav. Female Soloist: Lee Junghyun (her debut album “Let’s go to my Star” is my favourite kpop album actually!), Sunmi, BoA.

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• Fav. Male Choreography: Drip Drop by Taemin is a classic for me + So many other Taemin performances.

• Fav. Female Choreography: Paradise Lost by GaIn, another one would be 24 hours by Sunmi.

(-> I generally like solo or pas de deux (duo) more than entire group choreographies, it grabs the heart more imo. Tbh as I’m writing this I have ballet performances in mind when it comes to touching you emotionally through dance. Kpop dance has some impressive tricks but it isn’t particularly emotional, which is what’s most important to me)

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• Fav. Subunit: Orange Caramel!! (and WayV if that counts)

• Fav. Senior Male Group: H.O.T if we’re talking about disbanded senior groups, TVXQ/JYJ, Super Junior and Sechskies if we’re talking about still active senior groups.

• Fav. Senior Female Group: Brown Eyed Girls

• Fav. Disbanded Male Group: B.A.P ♥

• Fav. Disbanded Female Group: Wonder Girls and 2NE1 ;;;;

• Fav. Band: N.Flying

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• Fav. Male Rookie: Idk.. Oneus maybe? I listen to them casually. (I consider them rookie)

• Fav. Female Rookie: 3ye (They debuted in 2019, to me that’s still rookie)

---

• Fav. Male Dancer: Highlight/Beast Gikwang, SHINee Taemin, B.A.P Jongup

• Fav. Female Dancer: BoA

• Fav. Male Rapper: B.A.P Bang Yongguk

• Fav. Female Rapper: Brown Eyed Girls Miryo

• Fav. Male Vocalist: iKON Junhoe (he has a very unique and ‘harsh/rock’ voice for kpop, my fav voice in kpop), VIXX Jaehwan (Ken), Highlight Yoseob and Gikwang (Gikwang has a good voice but it’s not the most powerful one, but I just really love hearing him so.. :)) ♥♥)

• Fav. Female Vocalist: 2NE1 Bom

---

• Fav. Male Debut: Warrior by B.A.P, 7th Sense by NCT U

• Fav. Female Debut: 와 (Wa) by Lee Junghyun

---

• Fav. Music Video: The Closer by Vixx !! 

Honorable mentions: Yamazaki by Bang Yongguk, We are the future by H.O.T , Mirotic + Rising sun + O -正.反.合. (정반합) by TVXQ, Lies + Haru Haru + Last farewell by BigBang (those MVs bring me back to when I was a teenager, the low rise jeans, the pink Motorola flip phone.. one of my friends had the exact same one at the time), One Shot + Skydive by B.A.P., Mystery by Beast (both the official mv and their self-made mv) + Adrenaline by Beast/Highlight (a very basic mv but I instantly become happy when I watch it)

• Fav. Underrated Song: The Closer by Vixx, again! Also Outside Castle by H.O.T, Copy and Paste by BoA, Dear. Rude by JeA ft. Cheetah, She’s gone by G-Dragon, and Hikikomori by Bang Yongguk(♥)

• Fav. Male B-Side: Obsession + Divina Commedia by G-Dragon, Blind + 주소서 (Pray) by B.A.P, Love me do + Silence + Trigger by VIXX, Sexuality by Taemin...  

• Fav. Female B-Side: Ca teint moi + GX 339-4 by Lee Junghyun (!! the entire Let’s go to my Star album is a no skip for me), Wonder Girls: almost all of the Reboot Album...

• Fav. Comfort Song: (Most comfort songs are either by B.A.P or by Beast/Highlight because they’re the ults of the ults lol)

B.A.P: Save me, Diamond 4 ya, almost the entire Noir album (+ Ya by Bang Yongguk)

Highlight/Beast: Lightless (unplugged version), Sad movie, Curious, Danger, Sleep Tight

Some H.O.T and TVXQ songs

---

Top 5 BG + Fav. Song/s:

B.A.P: Young, Wild and Free (my very first Bap cb and their very first cb after the hiatus and law suit), the entire One shot EP, Power, Feel so Good, That’s my jam, Warrior, Unbreakable, Badman, Excuse me, 1004, Bang X2, Hands up + the ones I’ve mentioned above (+ many of Bang Yongguk’s solo stuff)

Highlight/Beast: Plz don’t be Sad (<- always makes me happy), Breath, Bad Girl, Mystery, Shock, Special, Fiction, Shadow, Good Luck, Celebrate, Love like this, Not the End, Disconnected + the ones I’ve mentioned above (+ many of Lee Gikwang’s solo stuff)

iKON: Killing me, Rubber Band, Bling Bling, Ah Yeah, Dive, Why Why Why, Dumb & Dumber, B-day, Rhythm Ta, I’m Okay

VIXX: The Closer, On and on, Voodoo, Secret Night, Black Out, Hyde, Light up the Darkness, Love me Do (actually produced by Yongguk and it does sound like it could’ve been a B.A.P song♥), Rock ur body, and almost the entire Eau de Vixx album

BigBang: Blue, Bae Bae, Tell me Goodbye, Lies, Last Farewell, Haru Haru, Café, Fantastic Baby, Bad Boy, Let’s not fall in love, Beautiful hangover, La la la, Last Dance (+ many solo songs by G-Dragon, T.O.P and Taeyang)

---

Top 5 GG + Fav. Song/s:

Wonder Girls: basically the entirety of the Reboot album, So Hot, Tell me, Why so lonely, Like this, Like money (the version without Akon), and last but certainly not least So Hot + I Feel You (band version♥)

2NE1: Crush, Come back home, Hate You, Can’t Nobody, I love you, I am the Best, Don’t stop the music, Fire, Goodbye (;;;)

f(x): Pinocchio (Danger), Mr. Boogie, Nu Abo, Hot Summer, 4 Walls, Chu, La Cha ta, Electric Shock, Lollipop (ft. SHINee) 

Orange Caramel: Abing Abing, Catallena, My Copycat, Lipstick, Gangnam Avenue, Shanghai Romance, A-ing

Brown Eyed Girls: Kill Bill, Sign, Cleansing Cream, Sixth Sense, Abracadabra, How Come

---

Groups Planning to Stan:

A.C.E: (I listened to them casually for a couple of years but I want to get to know them better and I’ve been binging a lot of ace videos these past 4-5 months.)

After School: (I LOVE Orange Caramel, but for some reason I never listened to the main group’s songs)

Infinite: (been wanting to for years, I know a good amount of songs and been listening to them for years but yeah)

(These 3 groups feel like they have the potential to become fav groups of mine.)

------

I tag: @alldayxia @fashionbitchgd @epiphanicwiring @larktrash @novararavis @224-12​ @skyisfull​

[curiosity-killed]

super long rambling and a fair bit of whining abt my relationship with dance AUs bc this is what my brain chose to fixate on for my whole extremely sloggish run

Because I love dance and because I love writing and because I do rather a lot of both, I pretty consistently struggle with my complete and utter block on writing dance AUs and I’ve basically realized that it comes down to a three-prong barricade that gets progressively harder to overcome as you move through it

Because part of it is just technical. Writing about dance is hard from a dancer’s perspective. I know dance, I know the mechanics of it and the sensations of it. I can walk you through the technical details of a 3-minute variation and I can tell you how my heart lifts and body fills with light the moment I step onto the stage. I can give you the nitty gritty and I can give you the grand metaphors—and I cannot for the life of me balance the lens on the middle ground.

I got asked on bumble what my favorite dance step is and immediately answered tour jete (or entrelace, depending on your school). And then, because the person wasn’t a dancer, I followed up with, “it’s a big fun jump that makes you feel like you’re flying.”

Yeah. That clears everything up.

A story cannot be made by a Big Jump That Feels Like Flying. Do you know how many steps that could cover?? Hell, how many disciplines?? A barrel leap is a big jump that can feel like flying. So is an Italian pas de chat. All three of these are  w i l d l y  different steps.

So there’s the words but—how to translate a language of precise motion and sweeping emotion into plain language accessible to people who haven’t grown up in this pidgin tongue of bad French and weird metaphors. Tombe pas de bourre glissade pas de chat contre temps—this is my language of dance. This is not only clear instruction on what steps to take but also the rhythm of it conveyed in the syllables and accents. I read this and not only see the dance across stage but feel the sway of my torso as I mark along, the flick of my wrist as I shape the steps before they’re taken, physical reminders of 17 years of training and study.

A reader reads this and their eyes glaze over and roll back in their heads.

To go the opposite way, to lay it all out in the actual physical motions is, if possible, even worse. Fall (gracefully) onto your right leg while extending your left with pointed foot to cross your left behind your right to step your right to the side to— *gasp for breath* Yeah, no.

The solution to this, in theory, is the kind of checklist I go through while performing: emotion, motion, technique. (Incidentally, this is the opposite of my checklist while rehearsing or taking class) Draw the reader in with the feel of it, move them with familiar steps, punctuate with the details. In theory. I’ve yet to make it work.

And then there’s the fact that I have had a very weird education and career in dance. I grew up dancing in the rural Midwest US—not exactly a hub of performing arts (and if you mention Joffrey, I will kindly invite you to look up “rural” and then look at Chicago). 

The vast majority of dancers in the rural midwest (...RMWUS??) go to competition schools. Think Dance Moms, high kicks and tricks on Instagram, trophies and tiaras. 

I.....went to a university.

We learned more about kinesiology than kicks. My teachers were fascinated by the way I could “jump like a boy” and didn’t once mention my waist circumference. It would be a lie to say it was all daisies and sweetcakes. We were competitive. Sometimes we were brats. We learned to push through severe physical pain and turned perfectionism to a weapon. Teachers had favorites and older girls could be downright mean.

But, having now danced at a competition studio, it was wildly different. When there were tears in the dressing room, it was because we were graduating and going far across the country from each other—not because a teacher had come in and yelled at the entire cast for 15 minutes right before the show. When auditions came around, we discussed each other’s strengths and weaknesses and together determined what we thought the best casting would be (tbc we did not have a say in casting, it was all just a thought exercise). 

We learned about dance not as an isolated thing we do but as a part of life—dance as an expression of culture, dance as a remarkable maximization of the human body—and are still always welcomed home.

I do, if I’m totally honest, think I got a better education than people at competition schools. But when it comes to writing fanfic...this is not a model of dance that is super easily accessible. Competition dance is on TV, Instagram, it’s all over. A rigorous academic approach to modern ballet...is not.

Lastly and ultimately the biggest stumbling block is: dance has always been a very gendered experience for me. My weird university education was surprisingly queer and unsurprisingly liberal, but I am a ballerina—not a danseur, not a ballet dancer. I grew up huddling under the edge of the grand piano with my friends hastily sewing pointe shoes and tingling with anticipation when we were finally old enough to wear platter tutus. I grew up pulling my hair back in tight buns and only being allowed to wear small earrings in class when I was in high school. 

There’s some crossover of course. I’ve got (as Colorado Ballet says) Mad Hops so my teacher would make me do men’s tempo jumps while the rest of the girls stood on the side and caught their breath. My partner for a pas de deux fell sick one tech week so my best friend, female, partnered me instead. 

Men can (and increasingly do) train in pointe shoes and wear tutus. Look at James B. Whiteside and Harper Watters for some of the most obvious examples. It is wonderful and remarkable to see gender roles changing in ballet and dance and that should be expressed in fiction as well. Men dance. Men do ballet and not just to hold up the women or to do big jumps. They can point their feet too, y’all.

(Here is where the whining really begins. Just so you’re warned.)

But when I sit down to write, the stories I want to tell are the stories I know—queer women growing up and training and learning together and challenging and supporting each other. The way you are taught ballet is very dependent on your gender. Men can train in pointe shoes, but that’s not the classical or traditional route. 

While my friends and I were taping our toes and grimacing about dead shanks, the guys in our cohort were in a separate class learning how to perform big jumps and turns in second. While I was cinching tight my friend’s corset-back bodice, the guys were in tights and a shirt. Again with the jumps—it wasn’t that I was a good jumper or that I was a strong jumper, it was that I jumped like a man. It was a compliment, but it was also an exception.

Meanwhile, most of my fandoms are very heavily male. The one time I attempted to write a dance AU was for VLD and I immediately ran into the baffling problem of “There are too many boys.” As someone who’s danced my whole life...this is not (usually) a problem in the real world of dance. If I write AUs about the main characters, I am writing about male dancers. Again, great! We need more positive and varied depictions of men dancing—but it’s not what I want to write.

I wrote out an entire paragraph here only to realize that the crux of the problem is actually the usual crux of my problem with gender in fanfiction and it is, quite simply: I want more well-developed female characters. Because I can write a story about side characters, but there’s so much less to go on — and sometimes, that’s where the fun comes in. Getting to play with and create a wealth of history and character for a written-off member of the cast can be really fun. But, for me at least, the delight of AUs is slipping in and twisting around canon in a new context.

If I write a wangxian ballet AU, Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation can be traded for his switching abruptly to a new studio—one that uses harsh methods, demands too much from him, cuts him off from the people he used to dance with—all so that the money from his tuition can be turned to help Jiang Cheng continue at his chosen academy and pursue dance professionally. It’s a stretch, it’s a twist, but it’s within a frame readers recognize.

If I write a ballet AU with Jiang Yanli and Wen Qing...well, it’s all free form. We have so little to go on that you can make it work—Cloud Recesses becomes a summer intensive, Wen Ruohan’s conquest becomes the buying out and closing of the Jiang academy for some new development—but there’s less resonance. We’re on new ground and the reader has to offer up a lot more trust and disbelief. 

Which I suppose leads us to genderbends?? Good lord. I do not know my own feelings about that enough to go anywhere. b l a r g h

so i guess this is all to say: writing good, dance good, writing dance hard. pouty face pouty face pouty face :<

[rhetoricalrogue]

It’s Tuesday and my brain is mush from an exceptionally hectic workday. Have some decompression headcanons.

Zoe

Spends every Friday night at the Rust Bucket to hang out with her best friend/former high school boyfriend/partner in crime named Harry who owns the place. Has her designated bar stool at the far end under the speakers that everyone knows not to sit in and an ashtray with her name engraved on it. Harry did it as a gag gift, but she told him to keep it there for her instead.

Once she stops smoking, she uses the ashtray to hold peanuts in. Harry can tell when she’s stressed when she dumps them out, but he switched to peanuts in the shell so she keeps her hands busy and doesn’t think about reaching for a pack of cigarettes she no longer carries around. Bonus is that she works her aggression out by shelling them, so win-win.

Harry’s son plays in a band and coincidentally, has a standing gig in his dad’s bar every Friday night (unless it’s a football night since the bassist is on the team) occasionally Zoe will jump onstage to play a set with them. Usually a “please, Aunt Zo” will get her to sing a song or two. Unit Bravo has not witnessed this. Yet. She doesn’t know about the time Adam poked his head in and saw her belting out an Evanescence cover, but he’s not going to tell anyone.

Rowena

Has a standing Saturday night appointment to be the entertainment for the local bar and grill. She either plays piano by herself and takes requests from the crowd or she’ll do a dueling piano performance with the music teacher at Wayhaven High from about 7 pm until 10 pm. They don’t get paid in money, but the bottomless appetizers and free drinks are worth it. Her favorite thing is to do 80s hits in ragtime.

Has entered a drinking contest and won. Farah was her hype gal behind her the entire time and Morgan won so much money in the betting pool that she bought Rowena a hangover breakfast the next day as thanks.

Has drawers full of cute pjs, but will usually sleep in short running shorts and old Wayhaven PD t-shirts. Doesn’t know if she or Nate was more flustered the first time he saw her in that outfit with her hair piled up in a messy bun and her reading glasses on, but she wasn’t complaining about the flirting that happened afterwards.

Aubrey

Everyone thinks she’s super classy and professional, but her old dance partner Tony came into town for a visit and that image went out the window. She’s able to be herself with him and fully unwind without even realizing she’s doing it. They’re basically platonic soulmates who clicked the instant they were introduced to the other and have been the other’s dance partner for over ten years.

Adam’s “I broke something because I cannot verbally express myself” counter goes off the charts when Farah pulls up an extremely sexy pas de deux Aubrey did with Tony that Aubrey offhandedly mentions is the whole reason the entertainment tabloids thought she and Tony were a couple. It’s a quick mention that she doesn’t think anything else of and goes more into how it was one of the more technically challenging dances she’s done since she had to be so bendy. “Yeah, it was really weird making out with my best friend onstage in front of hundreds of strangers, but we’re professionals. Anyway, the costumes were so pretty!”/“Aubs, were you naked?”/“No, that’s a skintone leotard and tights under the see-through negligee...Hey, I liked that throw pillow, Adam!”

Tony’s grandma is an honest to goodness Italian witch who’s aware of the Agency’s existence and the existence of other supernaturals. This is why Tony, who always listens to his favorite Nona (especially her lessons on identifying supernatural beings), gives Unit Bravo the biggest side eye when Aubrey introduces them, even though he doesn’t say anything and is as polite as can be since he can tell Aubrey is trying to keep something from him. This is also why when Aubrey is in another room, he squares up with Adam and “look, I know all of you are vampires and you can snap me like a twig with your pinky finger if you wanted to, but Aubs is my best friend and the closest thing to a sister that I have. You hurt her and I will stake you and then get my grandma to curse your ass from here to eternity, got it?”

When Tony leaves from his weekend visit, he’s convinced that a) his best friend is trying her best to hide the fact that she’s working with a secret agency from him, and b) Aubrey is completely in love with Adam. As Tony’s saying his goodbyes, he’s pretty much looking at Adam like

[sunny-st-james]

Pas De Deux Ch. 7 - Clara’s Dream

I’m really feeling this story! It’s a little shorter but I like how it ended. Dashes indicate flashbacks. Enjoy! Words - 1,240. Read here or on ao3.

The rain had started again. It wasn’t as heavy as it had been, but Sirius’s collar stuck to his skin. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see Remus’s beautiful golden eyes and the drops of rain clinging to his eyelashes. He already missed the feeling of the skin-to-skin contact, and his throat still burned from the feeling of Remus’s fingertips. At the end of the block, Sirius turned back to the building. From the fire escape, a figure waved, and Sirius waved back, before turning out of sight.

---

-You deserve happiness, too, baby, his mother says. She kisses his cheeks and his forehead and whispers softly. The tears stop slowly and eight-year-old Remus finally falls asleep.-

Remus had never believed her before. Of course everyone deserved happiness. But her words made sense that night, after Sirius left. He deserved happiness, and that night, he realized what true happiness felt like.

Crawling in through the window, he walked softly across the floor. The floors were thin and it was nearly midnight, which Remus could hardly believe. Time had flown by, and if it had gone by so quickly, he had hope for the next two days he had to wait. Since he had been around the city with Sirius, his life pre-Sirius seemed boring. 

Remus made it to the door and locked it. His fingertips lingered on the doorknob for a second before he turned away. As he went to close the window, a pile of white fabric draped over the couch caught his eye. He picked it up and realized that it was the shirt Sirius had borrowed. His surprisingly smoky scent still clung to the shirt, and Remus inhaled deeply, feeling something in his chest spark. Tucked in the pocket was a business card, all professional and sharp. But on the back, in a messy swirl of letters, it read thank you for tonight. Remus pressed his thumb to the heart next to Sirius’s name. He felt shaky with elation. 

That night it was hard for Remus to sleep, but when he did, he saw Sirius’s bright smile and tender hands in his dreams.

He supposed it was because he slept in Sirius’s shirt.

—-

Sirius’s apartment was cold and empty. There was no soft carpet to greet him, no twinkling fairy lights, no smiling man to pull him into his arms and welcome him home. Sirius knew that that was what was wrong with his apartment. There was no denying it was large and expensive and technical, but it didn’t feel like home. It was white and bare.

And lonely.

Sirius walked around, locking doors. He hadn’t even turned the lights on. From his window he could see the city skyline, but he knew his apartment faced away from Remus’s window. Of all the windows he could see, the most important one was just out of sight.

The marble counter in the bathroom chilled his hands. He rinsed the toothpaste out of his mouth and looked up at himself in the mirror.

His hair was tangled from Remus’s fingers and the wind. His pupils were still wide and he was shaky with adrenaline. Despite all that, he still looked softer, more relaxed, than he had in a long time. Turning to hang a discarded towel on a rack, he noticed a red mark blooming on the sensitive skin of his throat. The mark brought back memories of fingertips hovering over his skin. Vulnerable but safe.

Sirius pressed his fingers to the mark, feeling the blood pulse beneath the surface. 

Two days. He could wait two days. But he didn’t want to.

-You can’t date boys, Sirius. Our family would be disgraced. You need to provide an heir, Walburga says. Sirius doesn’t listen. He flips the collar of his leather jacket up and walks straight back out of the house. The night is like a cold slap on his cheeks, and despite the tears freezing on his cheeks, his face is steady and calm. He knew this was coming. 

James opens the door to Sirius looking windswept and kicked-in, and the only look Sirius sees on the face on the other side of the door is sympathy. He’s welcomed with open arms and all the love he never got.

You can date boys, Sirius. You aren’t a disgrace. You don’t owe anything to your old family. We’re so proud of you, James’s parents say. It’s the first time Sirius hears these things, and for the first time in his life, he’s finally found his family. He can be happy now.-

The blinds in his bedroom were open and the shadows thrown around the room added to the chill. Sirius wished he still had Remus’s shirt. The only thing it smelled like in his apartment was his smoky aftershave.

He crawled into bed, shivering at the cold and untouched sheets. The silk was so cold compared to the quilt on the bed he had laid Remus down on just an hour earlier.

“I’m never going to be able to sleep if all I think about is Remus,” Sirius whispered to himself. All that responded was the echo of his voice.

Half an hour later, he still laid awake. Lonely space surrounded him and he longed for warmth, the gentle touch of a golden hand. He sighed and pulled himself out of the bed, heading for the pocket holding his wallet. Flipping through the slots, he passed pictures and IDs and cards, but not what he really wanted at that point. But in the second to last slot, he found what he was looking for. It was what he had taken off the table the night he had carried Remus to bed.

It was a polaroid picture. Small and rough around the edges. The picture had been taken from behind and slightly to the right of Remus, who was sitting in a chair in front of a dressing room mirror. The lights were dark except for the glowing bulbs surrounding the mirror. He looked young, maybe twenty or twenty one, and had delicate lines of eyeliner on, which made something stir in Sirius’s chest. Remus’s nervous-looking face was reflected in the mirror, as well as the top of the costume he was wearing. He looked like a prince. 

And Sirius supposed that that was exactly what he was.

For a picture so small, it looked so alive. The blush across Remus’s face was bright, the light in his eyes fiery and alive. Sirius sighed and stroked his thumb over the picture as if to soothe the worry lines on younger-Remus’s face. He made to put the picture back, but slipped it into the pocket of his sleep shorts instead.

That night, though they were two miles apart, they slept the best they had in months. The worrying about business and money seemed so trivial when Sirius could be thinking about Remus and his golden glow. The anxiety of choreography and performances seemed so useless to Remus compared to thinking about Sirius and his smile.

Some say that when one can’t sleep, it’s because they are awake in someone else’s dream. But that night, Sirius and Remus found each other in a dream. They danced, held each other, and watched the stars travel across the sky together. Back in the real world, they curled around the reminders of each other, two parentheses enclosing two miles and a world of possibilities between them.

Chapter Six Here!

Chapter Eight Here!

[mirai227]

Today’s French notes/vocabulary/grammar needed

Vocab/ exercises

- Word order = Subject Verb Object (SVO)

- Caleçon = (d’homme) Boxer shorts, (De femme) Leggings.  - Cadenas = padlock - Camion = lorry - Canard = duck - Capot = Bonnet - Canif = penknife/pocket knife (can be used figuratively in “un coup de canid dans le contrat” meaning “an affair on the side”) - Bijou = jewel - Mot = word/saying/note/line - Chou = cabbage (*OC sees love interest for first time in months with no warning*Oh là là je t’aime, mon petit chou! I love that endearment though its so cute - Accent = accent - Dehors = outside

T’entends = you get along (with someone)

Je m’entends aussi bien avec mes parents qu’avec mes amis. Mes parents et moi, nous disputons rarement et il ne se fâchent pas avec moi. Ma mere est plus généreuse et plus gentille que mon père qui est trop sévère. Il ne laisse pas sortir le soir. - Camille

 I get along with my parents and also my friends (not quite sure about the structure of that though but whatever). My parents and me, we rarely argue and they don’t get angry with me. My mum is more generous and more kind than by dad who is too strict. He does not let me go out at night. 

Lilou est ma meilleure amie. Elle est mignonne et la plus intelligente de la class. On s’entend bien toutes les deux. On a les mêmes goûts et j’aime beaucoup sortir avec elle le weekend. - Jade

Lilou is my best friend. She is cute and the most intelligent in our class. We get along well. We have the same interests and I like going out with her on the weekend. (I ship Jade and Lilou)

Mon petit frère a sept ans. Il est moins gentil et agréable que ma sœur. Il est égoïste et il est jaloux de tout le monde. En plus, il est paresseux et parfois méchant. Je ne m’entends pas bien avec lui et souvent, nous fâchons. Je le trouve vraiment difficile. - Louis

My younger brother is seven years old. He is less kind and pleasant than my sister. He is selfish and he is jealous of everyone. As well, he is lazy and sometimes nasty. I do not get along well with him and often, we get angry (with each other I presume). I find him really difficult. (o o f)

J’ai une petite amie qui s’appelle Emma. Elle a quinze ans comme moi. Elle est un peu timide mais elle est la fille la plus sympa et la plus amusant de la classe. Nous avons beaucoup de choses en commun. Nous entendons supper bien. Moi, je l’adore. - Arthur (This is so cute omgomgomg)

I have a girlfriend who is called Emma. She is 15 years old, like me. She is a little shy but she is the nicest and funniest girl in the class. We have lots of things in common, We get along very well. Me, I love her. (awwwwww I ship it)

QUESTIONS:

1 - Arthur has a girlfriend the same age as him

2 - Louis does not get along with his brother. 

3 - Camille has occasional arguments with her parents.

4 - Emma is a little shy

5 - Lilou is sweet and very clever

6 - Jade likes going out with her best friend

Camille trouve que sa mere est....(C) Plus sympa que son père.

Le frère de Louis est plus...(F) Désagréable que sa sœur

Arthur s’entends bien avec...(A)Emma

La petit amie d’Arthur est....(E) la plus drôle de la classe. 

Le petite frère de Louis est....(B) Casse-pieds

Camille ne se dispute pas souvent avec....(D) ses parents

Aaaaand that’s how far I got. Not much really, I’m kinda disappointed. 

[therandombanjo]

Songs From 2019 (one per artist)

Another mixed bag of stuff i either enjoyed a lot, thought was excellent or interesting (regardless of taste… sort of), emerging artists to maybe look out for, and generally music that for whatever reason connected with me in some way, including the odd earworm i just couldn’t shake. Some artists are left off just to vary a little more from some other popular lists. Hope you enjoy some of this too and find something new to be taken by. Please do buy their music if you can and hopefully from a local independent record store if possible to support their work. There’s a spotify playlist (below) for easier listening but I’ve also posted a few links to extra things on some of them if you want to check them out.  Spotify:

(As ever…. as i don’t tumblr or blog or anything (besides this list), this won’t be seen by many (if any?) people so if you like it or think it’s of any worth in any way, please do share this along)

In Alphabetical order:

A.A. Bondy - Killers 3 Abdallah Oumbadougou - Thingalene Alasdair Roberts - Common Clay Alex Rex - Latest Regret Andy Shauf - Try Again Angel Bat Dawid - We Are Starzz Angel Olsen - All Mirrors        bonus. her collab with Mark Ronson “True Blue” Anne Müller - Solo? Repeat! Antoinette Konan - Kokoloko Tani Arthur Russell - Words Of Love Asmâa Hamzaoui and Bnat Timbouktou - Sandia Baby Rose - All To Myself BCI - Grateful Bedouine - When You’re Gone Benny The Butcher - Crowns For Kings      ft. Black Thought Ben Walker - Afon Better Oblivion Community Center - Chesapeake Beverly Glenn-Copeland - A Little Talk     (from a reissue of her 2004 record Primal Prayer) Bibio - Curls The Big Moon - It’s Easy Then Big Thief - a. Not    b. Cattails    (from 2 excellent albums released in the same year: “U.F.O.F” and “Two Hands”) Bill Callahan - a. What Comes After Certainty    b. The Ballad Of The Hulk Bill Fay - Filled With Wonder Once Again Bill Orcutt - Odds Against Tomorrow billy woods - a. Spongebob w/ Kenny Segal     b. Western Education Is Forbidden    ft. Fielded        (From 2 excellent records this year: “Hiding Places” with Kenny Segal, and “Terror Management”) Black Country, New Road - Sunglasses Blu & Oh No - The Lost Angels Anthem    ft. Kezia Bon Iver - Hey, Ma Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Beast For Thee Bonny Light Horseman - Bonny Light Horseman      (”supergroup” of the great Anaïs Mitchell, Eric D Johnson & Josh Kaufman) Brent Cobb & Jade Bird - Feet Off The Ground Brighde Chaimbeul -  O Chiadain an Lo Brigyn - Oer Brittany Howard - Stay High    (the video for this, with Terry Crews, is a delight) Bruce Hornsby - Voyager One    ft. yMusic Burd Ellen - Sweet Lemany Caoimhín Ó Raghallaigh and Thomas Bartlett - Kestrel Caribou - You and I Caroline Polachek - Door Cate Le Bon - Daylight Matters Caterina Barbieri - Arrows Of Time Clairo - Bags Cochemea - Mitote comfort - Not Passing The Cool Greenhouse - Cardboard Man    (a pretty hilarious song about David Cameron) CRAC - You Can’t Turn Your Back On Me    (Unreleased old track from ‘76) Cross Record - PYSOL My Castle CZ Wang and Neo Image - Just Off Wave Damon Locks / Black Monument Ensemble - a. Rebuild a Nation   b. Power Daniel Norgren - The Flow Danny Brown - Dirty Laundry Daphni - Sizzling    ft. Paradise Daughter Of Swords - Fellows      (Mountain Man member Alexandra Sauser-Monnig’s 1st solo record) Dave - Psycho David Kilgour - Smoke You Right Out Of Here David Thomas Broughton - Ambiguity     (from the 15th anniversary reissue of his remarkable debut album, The Complete Guide To Insufficiency) Denzel Curry - RICKY Destroyer - Crimson Tide Dry Cleaning - Dog Proposal Dubi Dolczek - Do The Gloop Durand Jones & The Indications - Long Way Home Ela Orleans - The Season      (From 2012 but on a career retrospective, Movies For Ears, put out this year) Elkhorn - Song Of The Son Emile Mosseri - a. The Last Black Man In San Francisco b. San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair)    ft. Mike Marshall         (both from the wonderful score for the wonderful film The Last Black Man In San Francisco, the latter a cover of an old song sung here by the guy who sang “I Got 5 On It”!!) Erland Cooper - Haar Ernest Hood - Saturday Morning Doze        (from a re-issue of his “self-released proto-ambient masterpiece” in ‘75) Fat White Family - Feet Faye Webster - Room Temperature Fennesz - In My Room Fernando Falcão -  As 7 Filhas Da Rainha Sumaia     (reissue from ‘87) FKA twigs - cellophane Florist - Shadow Bloom Flowdan - Welcome To London Fontaines D.C. - Roy’s Tune Four Tet / KH - Only Human French Vanilla - All The Time Gang Starr - Family and Loyalty   ft. J. Cole Georgia - About Work The Dancefloor Girl Band - Shoulderblades The Good Ones - Will You Be My Protector?   (of Rwanda) Grand Veymont - Les Rapides Bleus       (of France) Gyedu-Blay Ambolley - Sunkwa     (of Ghana) Hailaker - Not Much HAIM - Summer GIrl Hana Vu - Actress Hand Habits - placeholder Hannah Cohen - Get In Line The Harlem Gospel Travellers - If You Can’t Make It Through A Storm Hayden Thorpe - Diviner     (Former Wild Beasts frontman’s debut solo record) Helado Negro - Running The Highwomen - Redesigning Women Hiss Golden Messenger - I Need A Teacher Holly Herndon - Frontier Homeboy Sandman - Far Out Hoops - They Say Hotel Neon & Blurstem - Language Of Loss House and Land - Rainbow ‘Mid Life’s Willows Ibibio Sound Machine - Wanna Come Down IDER - Saddest Generation The Innocence Mission - On Your Side International Teachers Of Pop - I Stole Yer Plimsoles    ft. Jason Williamson (of Sleaford Mods) Jacken Elswyth - The Banks Of Green Williow Jaimie Branch - nuevo roquero estéreo Jake Xerxes Fussell - The River St. Johns Jamila Woods - ZORA Jayda G - Leave Room 2 Breathe Jenny Hval - Ashes To Ashes       Jenny Lewis - Red Bull and Hennessy Jesca Hoop - Outside of Eden     ft. Kate Stables (of This Is The Kit) and Jesca’s 12 year-old nephew Justis. This live performance is so sweet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUPmE_hU7Ss Jessica Pratt - As The World Turns Joanna Sternberg - This Is Not Who I Want To Be Joan Shelley - Cycle John Blek - North Star Lady Jordan Rakei - Say Something        bonus. under his DJ pseudonym: Dan Kye - Focus Jo Schornikow - Incomplete Joseph Shabason - West of Heaven Julianna Barwick - evening Junius Paul - Baker’s Dozen Kali Malone - Spectacle Of Ritual Kate Teague - Sweetheart Kate Tempest - a. Firesmoke    b. People’s Faces Kelly Moran - Halogen (Una Corda)       (from a record full of all the bare piano parts she played for her prior record before all the editing and processing) Kim Gordon - Air BnB Kindness - Hard To Believe     ft. Jazmine Sullivan KOKOKO! - Buka Dansa     (Congolese collective upcycling discarded materials to make their instruments) Konradsen - Baby Hallelujah     (of Norway) Lambchop - Everything For You Laura Cannell - a. Sing As The Crow Flies     b. Flaxen Fields Laura Stevenson - Lay Back, Arms Out Le Groupe Obscur -  Planète Ténèbres Leonard Cohen - Happens To The Heart Leo Svirsky - River Without Banks Little Simz - 101 FM Lizzo - Tempo   ft. Missy Elliot Loren Conors & Daniel Carter - Departing Lou Roy - Bite Low Chord - Walkk Lower Dens - Galapagos Mahalia - What You Did    ft. Ella Mai Majja - Black James Dean Maria Somerville - This Way Maria Usbeck - Amor Anciano Mary Halvorson & John Dieterich - Vega’s Array      (Mary the recipient of the MacArthur “Genius” Grant this year, because she is) Mary Lattimore & Mac McCaughan - IV Matana Roberts - As Far As The Eye Can See Meitei - Ike Melanie Charles - Trill Suite, No. 1 (Daydreaming/Skylark) The Menzingers - Anna Messiahs Of Glory - No Other Love      (from a collection of rare black gospel from the Midwest between ‘65-’78 put out on Tompkins Square) Mica Levi - a. Hosting     b. Lobo y Lady (from the excellent Colombian film Monos) Michael Abels - a. I Got 5 On It (Tethered Mix)    b. Pas De Deux (both from the terrific score to the excellent Jordan Peele film, Us) Michael Kiwanuka - Living In Denial Michael Nau - Poor Condition Mike Adams At His Honest Weight - Wonderful To Love Minor Pieces - Rothko      (duo of Ian William Craig & newcomer Missy Donaldson) Modern Nature - Footsteps Molly Sarlé - Twisted      (Mountain Man member’s 1st solo record) Moodymann - I’ll Provide Moon Duo - Stars Are The Light Moor Mother - After Images Moses Boyd - Stranger Than Fiction Moses Sumney - Polly Mount Eerie & Julie Doiron - Love Without Possession MSYLMA - Inqirad (Rihab-U Dhakir)     (Saudi Arabia) The Murder Capital - Don’t Cling To Life Nardeydey - Freefalling The National - Rylan   ft. Kate Stables (of This Is The Kit) The New Pornographers - Falling Down The Stairs Of Your Smile Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - a. Waiting For You   b. Bright Horses   c. Night Raid Nivhek - After Its Own Death: Side A    (Liz Harris of Grouper) Noname - Song 32 Octo Octa - Move Your Body ODD OKODDO - Auma      (Kenyan/German duo) Øyvind Torvund - Starry Night      (Norwegian composer) Pet Shop Boys - Burning The Heather Petter Eldh - Fanfarum for Komarum II Porridge Radio - Give/Take PREGOBLIN - Combustion Purple Mountains - a. Snow Is Falling In Manhattan    b. All My Happiness Is Gone   c. That’s Just The Way That I Feel Quelle Chris - Obamacare Quinie - Whas At The Windy Rapsody - Ibtihaj   ft. D’Angelo & GZA Reb Fountain - Faster Rian Treanor - ATAXIA_A1 Richard Dawson - Two Halves Robert Stillman - All Are Welcome Róisín Murphy - Incapable Rosalía - Milionària Rosenau & Sanborn - Saturday Rozi Plain - Symmetrical Ruth Garbus - Strash Sam Lee - The Moon Shines Bright   ft. Elizabeth Fraser (of Cocteau Twins) Sam Wilkes - Run Sandro Perri - Soft Landing SAULT - Smile and Go Seabuckthorn - To Which The Rest Were Dreamt serpentwithfeet - Receipts    ft. Ty Dolla $ign Sessa - Flor do Real         (of Brazil) Sheer Mag - Hardly To Blame Shit and Shine - No No No No Sinead O Brien - A Thing You Call Joy Siobhan Wilson - Plastic Grave Six Organs Of Admittance - Two Forms Moving Sleaford Mods - Kebab Spider Slow Meadow - Artificial Algorithm Snowy - EFFED    ft. Jason Williamson (of Sleaford Mods) SOAK - Knock Me Off My Feet Solange - Binz Sophie Crawford - A Miner’s Life Squid - Houseplants         bonus. Their cover of Robert Wyatt’s  “PIgs..... In There at End of the Road Festival) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DktZtQbo-YU Stella Donnelly - Old Man SUSS - Ursa Major Swamp Dogg - Sleeping Without You Is A Dragg   ft. Justin Vernon & Jenny Lewis Tami T - Birthday  Tenesha The Wordsmith - Why White Folks Can’t Call Me Nigga Theon Cross - Activate     ft. Moses Boyd & Nubya Garcia Thom Yorke - Dawn Chorus Tierra Whack - Wasteland Tim Hecker - That World Tiny Leaves - Respair Toya Delazy - Funani         (of South Africa) Twain - Death (Or S.F.?) Twin Peaks - Dance Through It Tyler Childers - All Your’n Vagabon - Water Me Down Vampire Weekend - This Life Vanishing Twin - Magicians Success Velvet Negroni - Confetti Vendredi Sur Mer - Chewing-Gum      (of France) Victoria Monét - Ass Like That Vieo Abiungo - Cobble Together Visible Cloaks - Stratum      ft. Yoshio Ojima & Satsuki Shibano Warmduscher - Midnight Dipper Weyes Blood - Andromeda Wilco - Love Is Everywhere (Beware) William Tyler - Our Lady Of The Desert Willie Scott & The Birmingham Spirituals - Keep Your Faith To The Sky     (from a collection of obscure 70′s era gospel on Luaka Bop, “The Time For Peace Is Now - Gospel Music About Us”) Xylouris White - Tree Song Ye Vagabonds - The Foggy Dew Zsela - Noise

[preath-things]

Preath Fanfic Rec List

Final Update January 2, 2019 For newer and more organized fic recs, check out preathfics, created by preathbar ! :)

⭐️ Favorites/Highly recommended ; 🆕 New fic addition since last update ; 🆙 Chapter update since last update ; ^ Author linked above ; Private - You need to be logged in to view

Also viewable here.

This fic rec list is an amalgamation of both skatertobin and my recommended fics. 

Preath:

One-shots (OS):

by 00trumpet

I’m So Tired of Losing  🆕⭐️ Words: 3,338 Chapters: 1/1 USWNT AU

Sometimes Mistakes are for the Best  🆕⭐️ Words: 5,620 Chapters: 1/1 Soulmate Timer AU  

by 00trumpet^, CastYourDemons

Timing, Timing, Timing (And a Little Bit of Luck)  🆕⭐️ Words: 6,145 Chapters: 1/1 Friendsgiving AU

by 17teesupfortobin

T is for Tobin   Words: 1,362 Chapters: 1/1 NWSL AU

by alittlestitious

the smile that makes me feel invincible like a child  Private

by bpomegranate

Just Tell Me  🆕 Words: 3,330 Chapters: 1/1 USWNT AU

Moving Forward Words: 2,719 Chapters: 1/1 USWNT AU

by bubblez4u

santa baby Words: 3,872 Chapters: 1/1 Christmas AU

welcome home Words: 2,536 Chapters:1/1 Back Injury AU

what happened on bourbon street Words: 3,544 Chapters: 1/1 USWNT Victory Tour AU

by captainmurca

Backups Private

fuckboi Private

by iceinmyveins

Change of Plans Words: 5,583 Chapters: 1/1 USWNT Victory Tour AU

left on the cutting room floor  🆕⭐️ Words: 1,469 Chapters: 1/1 USWNT AU

Shots of inspiration Words: 8,498 Chapters: 2/? USWNT AU

Strictly Business Words: 4,877 Chapters: 1/1 Business Partners AU

by jessi_08

Date Night Colds  Words: 976 Chapters: 1/1 Sick Date Night AU

Follow You Anywhere Words: 756 Chapters: 1/1 Random Conversation AU

It’s Perfect Words: 1,672 Chapters: 1/1 Ring AU

Little One Said Words: 1,202 Chapters: 1/1 Domestic Family AU

Not a Bid of Roses Words: 1,517 Chapters: 1/1 Charity Auction AU

Tracing Back Words: 968 Chapters: 1/1 Domestic AU

by JJ8 

Her Favourite Flowers  Words: 2,549 Chapters: 1/1 Flowers AU

by krashlyntome

Right Here Words: 2,038 Chapters: 1/1 Valentine’s Hiking AU

The jury’s out (but my choice is you)⭐️ Words: 17,257 Chapters: 1/1 Yoga Instructor AU

We’ll take the world by storm (it isn’t that hard)⭐️ Words: 30,866 Chapters: 1/1 YouTuber AU

by LittleDanvers

Fake it till you make it.  🆕 Words: 9,169 Chapters: 1/1

I just wanna be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.  🆕 Words: 1,433 Chapters: 1/1 NWSL AU

by LittleSass

All I Need is You Words: 1,745 Chapters: 1/1 Domestic AU

Behind the Scenes Words: 3,655 Chapters: 1/1 Body Shoot AU

By Your Side Words: 3,127 Chapters: 1/1 Olympics AU

Can’t Forget the Children Words: 2,419 Chapters: 1/1 Veterans AU

Dinner in Portland Words: 1,308 Chapters: 1/1 Dating AU

Fun in the Hunt Words: 1,815 Chapters: 1/1 Scavenger Hunt AU

Hiding in Plane Sight Words: 2,650 Chapters: 2/2 Airport AU

I’ll Take You to the Jewelry Shop Words: 1,478 Chapters: 1/1 Pre-Game AU

In Need of a Few Kisses Words: 1,123 Chapters: 1/1 Domestic AU

Part of Your World Words: 2,046 Chapters: 1/1 Hawaii AU

Sabotage Words: 1,977 Chapters: 1/1 Body Shoot AU

Something About Those Eyes Words: 5,234 Chapters: 2/2 Brown Eyes AU

Team Full of Children Words: 1,564 Chapters: 1/1 Baby Ertz AU

Tensions and Nerves on the Field Words: 1,506 Chapters: 1/1 Olympic Qualifying AU

The Backyardigans Words: 2,969 Chapters: 1/1 Domestic AU

The Beginning of a New Year Words: 1,465 Chapters: 1/1 New Year AU

The Moment I Knew Words: 4,749 Chapters: 1/1 Portland AU

They Can’t Take Away Us Words: 2,440 Chapters: 1/1 Camp AU

What’s Mine Is Yours Words: 1,030 Chapters: 1/1 Training AU

When in Love Words: 2,782 Chapters: 1/1 El Clasico AU

by llostt_in_ttranslationn

don’t listen to my mouth it’s right in my head  Words: 5,246 Chapters: 1/1 High School AU

it’s all fun and games (especially if you’re already in love)  🆕 Words: 2,355 Chapters: 1/1 Pretend-not dating AU

by orphan account (fics have been orphaned from original account)

love is patient (but not always subtle) Words: 3,912 Chapters: 1/1 College Sorority AU

push (there’s so much I can take) - Chapter 3: Still  Words: 6,692 Living Together AU

safe Words: 5,335 Chapters: 1/1 College Party AU

you knock me out, I fall apart Words: 2,864 Chapters: 1/1 Kissing Dare AU

by Rookieforlife

Powerless  Words: 11,575 Chapters: 1/1 Superhero AU

It’s My Party  Words: 1,703 Chapters:1/1 Birthday Party AU

by the_shipwreck

All my Stars Aligned  Words: 1,531 Chapters: 1/1 Hogwarts AU

by thundercatsarego

Cigarettes After Sex  Words : 3,446 Chapters :1/1 USWNT AU

by uswnt3

I got you all figured out, dude  Words: 1,162 Chapters: 1/1 Workmate

by wnnbh12

all that you are is all that i’ll ever need Words: 10,805 Chapters: 1/1 USWNT Victory Tour AU

being called yours has set me free Words: 8,859 Chapters: 1/1 Pretend Girlfriends AU

love, it’s only magic  🆙 Words: 15,490 Chapters: 13/?

Multichapter (MC):

Across The Hall ⭐️ by WriteOfPassage Words: 163,925 Chapters: 36/?College AU

all in one place by GKL (freelanceanthem) Private

Baby, It’s Time to Get Comfortable  🆕 by bigcookie Words: 8,109 Chapters: 2/?

Beyond the Pitch  by ayokidd Words: 38,535 Chapters: 4/? (last update 2017)

Broken and Shattered  🆕 by RileyChaser Words: 55,735 Chapters: 10/? Post-War AU tw: mental illness, violence, graphic descriptions

by the pauses and silences  by alittlestitious Words: 21,759 Chapters: 4/6 Actor/Vet AU

Caught up in my Head by 210pm Words: 6,741 Chapters: 3/? College Tutor AU

cross my mind ⭐️by alittlestitious Private

Crossing Boundaries by elm27^ Words: 97,840 Chapters: 40/40 USWNT AU

Dangerous Woman by balr33^ Words: 15,125 Chapters: 13/? USWNT AU (last update 2016)

Drunk Me   🆕 by Rscheezy Words: 4,799 Chapters: 2/? Ex-girlfriend AU

Feeling This ⭐️ by 5oclocksomewhere Words: 157,069 Chapters: 32/32 College AU

forget by dancingthru Words: 3,693 Chapters: 1/? College/Blind Date AU tw: major character accident/amnesia (last update 2017)

From the Beginning by LittleSass^ Words: 17,935 Chapters: 5/?USWNT/NWSL AU tw: major character accident/amnesia (last update 2017)

FULL MOON TIDE by from_afar Words: 8,169 Chapters: 5/? Surfer Soccer AU (last update 2016)

Girl Crush ⭐️ by lawless16 Words: 198,389 Chapters: 28/28 College AU

Give It A Shot by spotlessmind Words: 12,550 Chapters: 5/? Single Soccer Mom AU (last update 2016)

Happy Pills ⭐️ by thundercatsarego Words: 46,871 Chapters: 16/16 NWSL AU tw: mental illness/addiction

Holiday Resort  🆕⭐️ by MaresThird Words: 89,019 Chapters: 17/17 Hallmarksy Christmas AU

hate you in the best kind of way by bubblez4u^ Words: 30,916 Chapters: 11/? USWNT AU

I am confidently lost (but I might need you to find me) by etphonehome Words: 36,594 Chapters: 8/? Hogwarts AU tw: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse

I Can Still Feel The Love  ⭐️ by Cudders Words: 14,814 Chapters: 2/?

I knew exactly what to do but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do  🆕 by LittleDanvers^ Words: 11,305 Chapters: 5/? Yoga Teacher/Soccer player AU

I Want to Hate You, But I Love You by llostt_in_ttranslationn Words: 32,878 Chapters: 10/? Ex-Girlfriend AU

I was struggling to figure out how lightning works (then it struck me) by jc909 Words: 128,574 Chapters: 25/25 Single Moms AU

If I Lay Here by balr33^ Words: 25,846 Chapters: 8/? College AU (last update 2017)

I’ll Always Save You (Even When You Don’t Need It) by balr33^ Words: 17,828 Chapters: 8/? College AU (last update 2017)

Into The Woods ⭐️ by NutmegQueen Words: 19,676 Chapters: 6/? College/Camping AU

it was a cold night, so i got a fire going ⭐️ by Cartecka Words: 13,139 Chapters: 2/2 High School Soccer AU (2 POVs)

Life is Better With a Family by whatname0523 Words: 12,730 Chapters: 4/? Domestic AU

Lights So Bright by elm27^ by Words: 43,146 Chapters: 13/? (last update Feb 2018) Slow Burn AU

Lonesome Dreams  🆙⭐️ by whatname0523^ Words: 238,494 Chapters: 30/? Single Mom/Surfer/Hawaii AU

Mixed Messages by elm27^ Words: 110,746 Chapters: 28/28 College AU

Movement and Location ⭐️ by thundercatsarego^ Words: 24,207 Chapters: 4/4 Slow Burn AU/Friends With Benefits AU

My Mayhem by from_afar^ Words: 1,578 Chapters: 1/? Surfing AU tw: major character death/accident/mental illness (last update 2016)

Never Finished (only abandoned) by twinswrite^ Words: 4,777 Chapters: 4/? Teacher AU (last update 2016)

Nights with You   by Urbanrebel6 Words: 29,037 Chapters: 6/? Coffee Shop AU 

Now Hiring  by alittlestitious Private

Off Limits by darkhorsewoso Words: 783 Chapters:1/? USWNT AU (last update 2016)

open your heart up (and let me inside it)   by makx Words: 14,273 Chapters: 3/3 USWNT AU

pas de deux ⭐️ by GKL (freelanceanthem)^ Private

PDX to ORD by jc909^ Private

Perfect  ⭐️ by thundercatsarego^ Words: 35,972 Chapters: 15/15 NWSL/One Night Stand AU

Perfect Record  🆙 by AGirIHasNoName Words: 46,973 Chapters: 10/? Firefighter/Nurse AU

Pretty Brown Eyes by balr33^ Words: 30,867 Chapters: 15/15 USWNT AU

Seasons ⭐️ by sar7891 (ll4l)^ Words: 47,450 Chapters: 4/4

senses   by GKL (freelanceanthem) Private

She’s The One by juj1122 Words: 1,740 Chapters: 2/? USWNT AU (last update 2016)

Side A, Side B by thundercatsarego^ Words: 55,835 Chapters: 14/? (last update 2016)

sidestepped by 100capclub Private

Thank Me Later by Presstonx^ Words: 48,796 Chapters: 21/21 College/Road Trip AU

That’s The Way My Heart Feels   by llostt_in_ttranslationn Words: 28,209 Chapters: 7/? Single Mom AU

The Story of Us by Wosotrash Words: 8, 441 Chapters: 9/9 USWNT AU

The Sun is Patient ⭐️ by krashoheath Words: 96,190 Chapters: 30/? Yoga Instructor AU

there’s a fine line between love and in love (sometimes I can’t tell which side I’m on)  🆕⭐️ by 00trumpet^, CastYourDemons^ Words: 260,410 Chapters: 46/46 Slow Burn AU 

Three Years by Rookieforlife  Words: 5,007 Chapters: 2/2 Ex-Girlfriend AU

Three’s a Crowd by thundercatsarego^ Words: 41,266 Chapters: 15/15 College AU tw: O’Pr*ss love triangle

Thursdays by Fcntcsy Words: 13,171 Chapters: 2/? Roommate AU (last update 2016)

Unaltered  🆙⭐️ by thundercatsarego^ Words: 43,978 Chapters: 7/7

under pink skies ⭐️ by wnnbh12^ Words: 177,704 Chapters: 22/?Single Mom AU tw: mental illness

under pink skies (one shots) by wnnbh12^ Words: 5,216 Chapters: 1/? Single Mom AU

we stay in this mess   by makx^ Words: 7,710 Chapters: 2/? USWNT AU

West of What I Expected by NavigationalMistakes Words: 2,660 Chapters: 6/6 USWNT AU

Worth a Thousand Words   by Rookieforlife^ Words: 7,877 Chapters: 3/? Celebrity/Paparazzi AU

Write It Off  ⭐️by thundercatsarego^ Words: 68,222 Chapters: 18/? Writer/Photographer AU

you feel like second nature (i got you memorized)  🆕⭐️by wnnbh12^ Words: 31,952 Chapters: 1/1 Weddings AU

you only tell me you love me when i’m asleep   by llostt_in_ttranslationn^ Words: 3,780 Chapters: 3/3 Cheating AU

youth⭐️ by captainmurca^ Private

Series (S):

among the tall trees by jc909^ Private

among the tall trees Private

will you be my lovebug? Private

Easy universe by blablatruc^ Words: 26,810 Works: 4 USWNT AU

Easy enough Words: 21,244 Chapters: 14/14

Vocabulary problem Words: 1,696 Chapters: 1/1

Constant craving Words: 1,573 Chapters: 1/1

Imagine if we had a bed Words: 2,297 Chapters: 1/1

On A Scale (From One to Ten) ⭐️ by softanticipation Words: 211,400 Works: 2 College AU tw: O’Pr*ss love triangle

on a scale (from one to ten) Words: 200,591 Chapters: 28/28

Whatever You Want Words: 10,809 Chapters: 1/1

pillowtalk ⭐️ by softanticipation^ Words: 43,039 Works: 2 USWNT AU

pillowtalk Words: 36,823 Chapters: 4/4

Don’t You Worry Words: 6,216 Chapters: 1/1

Preath AU One-Shots 🆕 by 00trumpet^ Words: 22,742 Works: 3 Meet Cute AU 

That’s On My List Words: 4,745 Chapters: 1/1

Just Say Yes Words: 5,173 Chapters: 1/1

25 Days of Christmas  Words: 12,824 Chapters: 1/1

Roman Holiday ⭐️ by whatname0523^ Words: 151,776 Works: 2 Strangers on Vacation AU

Roman Holiday Words: 44,054 Chapters: 9/9

Love on the Weekend Words: 152,214 Chapters: 19/19

Slow Hands  ⭐️ by whatname0523^ Words: 34,544 Works: 2  Soccer/Photographer AU

Slow Hands Words: 17,098 Chapters: 1/1

The Trouble with Hello is Goodbye Words: 17,446 Chapters: 1/1

she can score when she wants ⭐️🆕 by LittleDanvers^ Words: 5,197 Works: 2  USWNT AU

Good things come to those who hustle Words: 2,350 Chapters: 1/1

Always take the scenic route Words: 2,847 Chapters: 1/1

Stay With You   by sar7891^ Words: 24,739 Works: 4 College/Domestic AU

Stay With You Words: 2,382 Chapters: 1/1

There For You Words: 13,667 Chapters: 1/1

Always With You Words: 2,582 Chapters: 1/1

Christmas With You  🆕 Words: 6,168 Chapters: 1/1

T-shirt  ⭐️ by 5oclocksomewhere^ Words:19,221 Works: 2

T-Shirt Words: 1,455 Chapters: 1/1

Craving You Words: 17,766 Chapters: 1/1

The six stages of falling in love with her. ⭐️  by whatname0523^ Words: 18,135 Works: 2  Slow Burn AU

The six stages of falling in love with her. Words: 10,088 Chapters: 1/1

The Things I’d Like to Do with You. 🆙 Words: 8,047 Chapters: 2/?

Where do we send the fruit basket? by iceinmyveins^ Words: 19,563 Works: 3 USWNT AU

Fruit Basket Words: 3,777 Chapters: 1/1

Home Words: 13,218 Chapters: 3/3

Paintballing Words: 2,568 Chapters: 1/1

Won’t You Let Me Drive You Home? by sar7891 (ll4l)^ Words: 31,696 Works: 1 College/Sorority AU

Won’t You Let Me Drive You Home? Words: 31,696 Chapters: 1/1

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Love Potion Extravaganza Ch. 4

Some one sided Alonsonaomi, more Gabela and well Naomi is the only sane man left. The songs I used were, It was a shit show, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b-tAiOVMYFY, Let’s have intercourse https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z5Ex9gyOmp0 and a snippet of Love makes the world brand new https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb8HEb9kZcg.

Carla’s mind snapped to attention, “Cute? I am giving myself and you think it’s cute?!”

“You are younger than me. And a malvago. And a danger to everyone in the kingdom. Why would I ever take you?” Gabe gave a small smirk at seeing her infuriated reaction.

“Because-because I am hot!” Carla cried then paused, “And I love you.”

“No you don’t.” Gabe spat.

“Yes I do.” Carla lied through her teeth, “I told you, my parents thought I was a burden. They’ve poisoned the waterways with a love potion and they gave it to me too so I would be too distracted to join them. That’s why I came to you. I was going to tell you but I once I saw you looking so..” She moaned.

Gabe narrowed his eyes at her but she just looked at him innocently. As if she really had been abandoned and was under a love spell directed towards him. He had to give her credit for sticking with such a ridiculous lie.

“Fine, I’ll play your little “love spell” game.” Gabe grabbed her wrist again in an iron grip and began to walk her outside. “Since you made your big declaration of “love” I guess I will have to reject you.”

“Huh?” Carla looked at him confusedly and uselessly tried to squirm out of his grasp when he started to sing in a deep clear baritone. “You love me, yes And I'll confess...

The thought of staying is so enticing.

And when you speak

My knees get weak

I can't believe what I'm sacrificing.” Suddenly Carla was very aware of all the Avaloran citizens that were staring at them. The Captain of the Guard dragging the highly-sought after malvago through the streets and singing a break up song to her. “But let's get real

We know the deal

So darling let's not tiptoe.”

She looked at Gabe and he just smiled proudly at her with mock-sympathy. Oh yes all those melty feelings were dead and gone. This was so humiliating. “This thing we have...

It’s not just bad

It would be a shit show.”  

“I get it. Will you stop?” Carla hissed trying to desperately plant her heels into the ground but Gabe just gave her a quick jerk that sent her tripping over her feet.

“We can't undo, can't make amends

Dysfunction would be our lingua franca”

Gabe leaned down to whisper her in her ear, “You chose to seduce the wrong guard. Besides, attempting a strip tease in song about how evil you are? Know your audience.”

“There's 'hard to get', then there's neglect

To say it's fate, you'd have to be a bit slow

Not to be crass

But it would sucked ass

And it would be a shit show.”

Gabe got tired of Carla’s futile squirming around and picked her up in a fireman’s carry leaving her no choice but to accept defeat. Carla’s face burned and she cursed her stupid idea to leave her tamborita and malvago robes in the janitor's closet of the restaurant.

“We have chemistry, of course, but that's a formula for divorce

A play about pieces of feces is what we are together!”

Several of Gabe’s comrades started clapping and cheering him on after his long note and it took all of Carla’s willpower not to bury her face in her hands. She had some dignity-ish, she would face their jeers with a glare. “Oh, what the hell, let's get a hotel

'Cause life is short and we're not getting any younger

But after sex, what happens next

I mean in the long run, not just fatigue and hunger?

And when you say that I should stay

That's exactly when I should split

Though I won't forget, I won't regret”

Gabe suddenly put her down into a low dip with the most obnoxious smirk directed at her mortification. She wanted to slap him so badly but with all these guards around her it would probably be best to obey. But still...this jerk! “This beautiful, heart stopping

Breathtaking, life-changing....”

Without any preclude, he dropped her flat on the ground like a sack of potatoes and she banged her head against the hard dirt.

“What the hell?” Carla groaned, rubbing her throbbing head but Gabe didn’t answer. She looked to see where he was staring. At the center of Avalor City’s square was the fountain which was being showered with sparkles and magicked-up jaquins. Dancing upon the fountain’s edges were Matato and Elena and Manuel and Valentina as an adoring crowd “awwww”ed and “ooohhh”ed over them.

She looked back at Gabe who had the look of an absolutely heartbroken man. His jaw went slack, his eye were wide and almost uncomprehending of the scene in front of him yet he was probably seeing it so vividly his heart was breaking into pieces over and over.

“Dumps you and goes for the wizard” Carla smiled, seeing a chance for her to escape, “That’s gotta hurt.”

She dove between his legs and kicked, knocking him over. She heards the other guards yelling for someone to stop her but she blended easily in the crowd and was gone. She needed to get her tamborita back and make sure everyone was under the spell of love.

“Gabe!” Naomi cried, pushing through the crowd to see Carla escape everyone’s grasps. Again. What was with people today?

“They’re- they’re together.” Gabe ignored Naomi’s frustrated look pointing a finger at the crown princess and her wizard king.

“Yes, they are. That doesn’t matter. You let Carla get away.” Naomi scolded but Gabe just lied back on the ground as if the world was too much for him to handle right now. “Elena’s with him? But she said she didn’t like anyone.” Gabe continued muttering to himself.

“Gabe listen to me” Naomi pulled him back up to sitting position, “Carla gave both of them a drink and they basically started making out. I think she gave them a love potion.”

“Heh she did say that her parents poisoned the waters with a love potion but she’s lying. Like how she lied that she was in love with me.” Gabe sighed.

Naomi gasped as a lightbulb went off in her head, “That explains everything! Gabe! Carla wasn’t lying about the love potion, that’s why everyone is acting nuts. Come on, let’s go to Mateo’s workshop, maybe he has something to fix this.”

Gabe laid down on the ground again, “I can’t. My heart hurts.”

Naomi looked at the fallen guard and weighed her options. Dragging him all the way to the palace could take too much time, but on the other hand she could use a partner. But...

She made a decision. She’d have to do this solo. She pushed Rico off his horse and rode off to the palace. It was like the horse understood the urgency of the situation and ran double-time to get to the palace. At the doors was a familiar carriage. On the steps Prince Alonso was pacing impatiently and Olivia sat forlornly waiting.

“Hi guys.” Naomi waved, rubbing the horse down from it’s hurried trek.

“Hi Naomi!” Olivia answered brightly, “Do you know where everyone is? I’m here for my lesson with Mateo and I’ve been knocking on the door but no one has opened up.”

Naomi nodded understandingly. Olivia had recently come by the palace more often since her school had a week off for spring vacation and Alonso must be here for trade meeting.

“I don’t know why anyone in the palace isn’t opening up but Mateo and Elena are in the Via Mercado. There’s a slight problem.” Naomi looked up to include Alonso into the conversation when his face stopped her in her tracks.

Alonso’s eyes were glazed over and a silly smile spread across his face, he pursed and unpursed his lips as if he was preparing to do a smolder. It was the same weird look Manuel had when he looked at Valentina. It was the same smile Mateo and Elena had before kissing each other. And it was aimed at her!

“Holy crap!” Naomi squeaked under her breath.

Alonso slowly ambled down the steps, smoothing back his hair and began to sing, ”Unfortunately, I want to have sex with you.

I don't know what happened

Maybe you lost some weight.”

Naomi’s horror that Alonso’s love was aimed at her faded away to disgust. They had only met one time, the morning after the Festival of Friendship. He was okay enough. A bit too full of himself since he would pause whenever he saw his reflection. But this? Who was he to judge her weight? And him singing like having sex her would be such a chore.. He would be lucky to have her! “For some reason, you're now on the top of my to-do list

Let's get this over with

So I can focus on other tasks.”

As Alonso leaned in for a kiss,she slapped him but he continued undeterred. He grabbed her and lifted her high in the air and roughly put her down on the ground again. She fell over his foot and a sharp pain went to her ankle. Rubbing it she glared at him but he was preoccupied with executing a standard ballet pas de deux with an imaginary partner. “Let's have intercourse!

Just pretend I'm seducing you.

Come on, let's quickly have intercourse

So I can move on with my life

My busy life.”

“What?” Olivia looked at the egotistical prince in horror and her eyes were so wide, Naomi thought her glasses would fall off.

“Oh my Lord, Olivia! Cover your ears. Run!” Naomi reached to cover Olivia’s ears herself but Alonso grabbed her by the waist and included her into his little ballet dance. “You and I are both highly intelligent people.

Although I'm in much better physical shape.”

Alonso kissed his muscles at this line and Naomi rolled her eyes. This was painful on so many levels. “Once we do it, it'll be like

Well, that's what that was like

And you'll hopefully go back to seeming weird to me.”

Alright, we meet for one morning and you write me off as weird. I don’t do anything weird! Okay I guess he might have found it weird when I lectured him on the best knots to use on a schooner but that was just a really important topic he needed to hear. The guy thought schooners could run on only a team of rowers. What kind of schooner would ever-

Naomi’s mental reverie was brought to sudden halt when she felt Alonso nibble on her neck. She shrieked, wiggling out of his grasp and fell back on her butt, hurriedly wiping the area where she still felt his lips. “But right now let's have intercourse

I mean, obviously you want to, too.”

“No way buddy! Not in your lifetime.” Naomi protested.

“Just super quickly have intercourse

You could use the exercise.”

Naomi growled at that last line until she saw Alonso leaping towards her. Before she could scramble out of Alonso’s grande jete path, he picked her up again while doing an arabesque. “Sometimes my body wants things that my mind does not.

My body wants things that make my mind go "Uh, body, what?"

We're animals, it's unfortunate

So come on, let's contortion it.”

Naomi looked down to see Olivia was obediently covering her ears and closing her eyes which Naomi sighed in relief. There was really no need for her to know these things and be scarred for life. Especially with Alonso singing about it. His version of intercourse was so not romantic.

“I won't be back to normal till

I see what your nipples look like!”

Naomi instinctively covered her chest, blushing from the top of her head to her toes. How dare he sing about her nipples! How dare he even think about them especially after he called her heavy.

“They're probably straightforward nipples

But I won't know for sure.”

“You will never know” Naomi vowed inside her head, thinking of some creative things to do to his nipples if he tried to take off his shirt in front of her. She wondered if royal princes ever had purple nurple. She would be happy to give him one.

“Until we stop wasting time talking 'bout it

And we super quickly

It'll only take a second

Have intercourse.”

Naomi got off his lap. “No way, Alonso. Hit the road!”

Alonso chuckled, “Naomi, there’s no need to play hard to get. Come on. Look at me and look at you. This is a chance of a lifetime.”

“Can I open my eyes now?” Olivia yelled out questioningly, ears still covered.

Naomi remembered why she had come. The love potion. This was all because of the love potion. Even Alonso’s obnoxious behavior. She had to bring everyone back to normal and maybe Olivia could help her too with her limited wizard magic.

But how would she do that with Alonso hanging around?

“Well..” Naomi said sweetly, “We shouldn’t have intercourse in Elena’s palace that would be rude. How about you go to the Via Mercado and gets us a room. Okay?”

“I’ll get us the best suite in all of Avalor. You’re in for the time of your life!” Alonso promised and gave her a brief albeit forceful kiss before jumping into his carriage and riding off singing, “The skyball's doing its shine-thing. The moving air is so sweet.” His voice drifted away as he sped off but the two girls were able to hear his elated shout, “Love makes the world brand new!”

“More like love makes the world turn cuckoo” Naomi muttered to herself as she went over to Olivia and gently uncovered her eyes, “Olivia, I’m gonna need your help with a big magical problem.”

[peaches-and-hoshi]

FEBRUARY/MARCH FIC REC [3]

a bit late, but here are fics that i’ve read or have been published/finished these past 2 months~

[TAGS: Fluff Angst Smut ; favorites ♥]

CANON VERSE

Mang by cypherpt5 [JIHOPE, fluff, Jimin starts talking to a mang plushie and it.. answers]

Your love was handmade for somebody like me by tangowithsuga [VMIN, A&F&s, vmin get married in vegas during the BBMAs] ♥

see on both sides like chanel by agust__d [TAEGI, F&A, Yoongi likes to wear nail polish and skirts, Tae supports him]

time slip by namakemono [JIKOOK, A&F&mention of smut, on the verge of their debut in 2013, Jimin falls asleep and wake up in 2017] ♥

of white lies and autumn leaves by ffairyy [JUNGHOPE, F&S, fake dating!au, Kook gets teased for being single and Hobi steps in as the Selfless dude he is] ♥

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

SOPE

the 10 step guide to waking your min yoongi up in the morning by sugaretreat [FLUFF, everything’s in the title]

the five times jung hoseok (...) by sugaretreat [FLUFF&light smut, Yoongi turns into a tiny dragon when he’s flustered and Hobi is the amused curse-breaker]

Hoseok (dick pic guy) by dboys [SMUT and humor, Hobi texts the wrong number and things happen] ♥

Magic trilogy by soflty blue [Smut&A&F, three stories of witches!sope falling together] ♥

Linger Here With Me by [S&A&F, trilogy, Hobi and Jin are in an open relationship, ang Yoongi catches feelings]

the truth came a-knocking by sugaretreat [A&F, Yoongi’s secret agent past catches up to him]

VMIN

can’t cover it up by moonsuns [F&A, actor!Tae and idol!Jimin star in a drama]

SUGAMON

Without You There’s Nothing by syubology [F&light angst, Yoongi gets sick and grumpy, Joon worries] ♥

Yoongi and the Pea by noraebangbang [F&humor, prince!Joon tests something on the hot dude who’s wrashing at his castle during a storm]

NAMSEOK

ionic bonding by moonsuns [ANGST&S&F, namseok met in high school but didn’t talk much due to bullies, and meet again in college]

Good For Business by moonsuns [A&F, tattooist!Hobi and florist!Joon who pretend to be dating for vmin’s wedding] ♥

waves of running feelings by moonsuns [F&A&humor, Joon is bothed by Hobi kissing guys, and thinks he might be homophobic, but he’s just jealous] ♥

flores by wbsuga [FLUFF, first date!!]

VHOPE

realer than reality by moonsuns [F&A, childhood friends, Tae likes to take pictures of everything, but mosly Hoseok] ♥

if it means a lot to you by [S&A&F, they were FWB as teenagers and meet later, when Hoseok is the nurse in charge of Tae]

TAEGI

Will You B Minor? by ohdizzy [F&humor, Tae is usually smooth as heck, but all he can try on Yoongi are ridiculous music puns; truly hilarious] ♥

Shots and Pancakes by mucha [A&F, getting back together, taegi get drunk and have Feelings]

ordinal numbers mean nothing if you’re not my last by daeguholic [FLUFF, Tae is weird but Yoongi loves him]

JUNGHOPE

It’s Time to Love You by eightninetwo [F&light light angst, Kook was in love with Hobi but he was too young and got rejected, now they’re neighbors] ♥

vagabonds’ chaos theory by astringxnt [S&A&F, spies!au, side!vmin, they daily life + some important event]

footprint nostalgia by astringxnt [Fluff, novelist!Kook and teacher!Hobi, they were too shy to confess when they were young, but meet again]

SOME YOONGI FICS (not enough to fill a whole category)

This Must Be My Dream by jinified [YOONJIN, FLUFF, teachers!au, Yoongi has a special project for valentine’s day] ♥

for a good time, call by moonsuns [YOONMIN, A&F, Jimin keeps calling Yoongi when he’s drunk, even tho they broke up]

in the midnight hour by marienadine [YOONKOOK, light angst&F, Jungkook can’t sleep and gets cuddles from his bf]

POLY SHIPS

the strange and unusual [MAKNAE LINE/VMINKOOK, F&A, Jungkook buys a haunted house, vmin are the ghosts living in it, shenanigans ensue] ♥

It Was Sweet, It Was Pure by portscutie [YOONMINSEOK, F, the 5 times jihope try to kiss their boyfriend for the first time, and the 1 time they succeed] ♥

SOULMATE AU

under pink skies by pardon [SOPE, F&A, everyone starts colorblind and sees more colors as they fall in love with their soulmates] ♥

Of ducks and trees by Temaki [SOPE, fluff, soulmates get a strand of their soulmates’ hair color] ♥

Pas de Deux by dirtynoona [JIHOPE, F&A, dancers!jihope each have a tattoo of the other’s dancing silhouette]

i have stories, i have scars by aeipathie [VMIN, A&F, people get scars and only their soulmates can kiss them away] ♥

[odilestory]

Easy As Loving You // Older Damian x Reader

Damian and you are both like 20 in this btw

----

Dami  : I’ll come pick you up

You    : Ok :) I’ll probably be done around 5:30. I’ll text you if it’s any later

Dami  : see you then

I opened the door to the studio smiling at my recent texts. It was currently 8:30, I had thirty minutes until my morning class. I am a soloist for the Gotham City Ballet (GCB), which meant early morning, late nights, and even later performances. I joined the coryphee straight out of high school at 17, was promoted to first artist at 18, and soloist at 19. At this rate I was to be a principal at any moment, but I never  put my expectations too high. I didn’t want to disappoint myself. I said hello to the attendant at the desk and wen to check my schedule.

(L/N):  

9 am class 10:30 am - 1:30 pm Odette rehearsal 1:30 pm - 2 pm Costume fitting 2 pm - 5 pm Odile Rehearsal

Not a particularly difficult day, but it would be a tiring one. I had been chosen to play Odette/Odile in Swan Lake, it would be my debut principal role. Of course, once I told Damian, he insisted he bring the whole family to watch. I took the elevator to the floor with the dressing room, did my hair in a middle/high bun, and put on a lilac-blue sleeveless highneck leotard with white hems and a white zipper down the front, along with pink stirrup tights on top of it. On top of that, I wore a sheer black tight top (basically footless tights you make into a shirt by cutting a hole in the crotch), gray leg warmers, “garbage bag” ripstop warmup pants, and a black fleece zip up jacket with the Wayne Enterprises logo embroidered on the left chest. I talked to friends and co-workers before heading to the studio where class was to be held.

We started with bar and ended with jumps, as always, and I took a snack break before heading to the larger studio for Odette rehearsal. Today I was learning her entrance, solo, and pas de deux. I walked in to see Aran, my partner, already warming up and practicing. He greeted me with a nice hello and as soon as the director arrived, we got to work.

The rest of the day went as planned and after a difficult Odile rehearsal, I went to the shoe room to pick up a few new pairs I would sew that night. By the time I left the shoe room, it was 5:15. Damian would be outside in 15 minutes, just enough time for me to get changed. I left my hair up but changed back into light wash cuffed jeans and a t-shirt, figuring I could shower at the manor. Damian and I had been dating for almost two years, and had talked about moving in together. He still lived at the manor with Bruce, and I lived in a small one bedroom downtown. It wasn’t big enough for two people, so we had been apartment hunting for a while. I sat in the lobby listening to my performance music and going over my choreography in my head, when I was startled by a text.

Dami. : parked across the street

I ran outside and to the car when I jumped in the passenger side.

“Hello, beloved.” He greeted me with a rare smile and kiss. “How was it?” “Odile is so much harder than I thought. Aran and I are having trouble with the adagio in the white pas. I think he just needs to figure out how to hold me correctly…” “Hold you?” He sounded concerned. Damian was protective. He accepted my career, but didn’t enjoy the thought of partnering. “Yes, love,” I giggled at his protectiveness, he tightened his grip on the wheel and started to drive. “I just wasn’t on balance during the white swan’s adagio. It was just as much my fault as it was his.” “No.” “No? Dami, what do you-“ “You did nothing wrong. You are a trained professional, one of the best in the world. He should be doing this correctly.” “Well, it’s a lot harder than you might think!” I gawked at him. “I bet I could do it.” “Really?” “Yes, beloved. I think it would be quite easy.” He smirked. He was pleased with himself. “Fine. Then I will teach it to you when we get back to your house, and then you’ll see just how easy it is.” “Challenge accepted, love.” I crossed my arms and smiled. I couldn’t believe his confidence! He let me plug in my phone to the aux and play my music. Currently I had on Odette’s death scene. The Scene Finale Andante. We were silent in the car. Only stealing glances at one another every few minutes

—

We pulled up infant of the manor and silently got out of the car. Though we appeared upset at each other, we were simply stubborn. Both wanting to prove the other wrong and neither of us wanting to let guards down. He waited for me to get my things, and when I met him on the drivers side, he quietly gave me his arm to take, and carried my bag as well. Alfred answered the door as we walked up the few steps. “Master Damian, Miss (Y/N). Lovely to see you.” He acknowledged me as Damian led me through the door. “You too Alfred.” I smiled at him as he closed the door. I let go of Damian’s arm and took my bag from his hand. He looked at me, confused. “I’m still going to prove you wrong!” I hurried to the gym. As a birthday present one year, Damian had converted part of the gym area to a studio. Sprung marley floors, wall to wall mirror and all. All I heard him mumble was “Tt” as he followed behind me.

—-

I was now changed back into a leotard and tights, toes taped and pointe shoes on. That shower was gonna have to wait. Damian was in a t-shirt and compression pants; the closest he found to tights. “I’ll ignore your lack of technique for now and we’ll focus on the partnering.” Damian actually had taken ballet classes before. Dick had convinced him it was good for him. And even though he refused to admit it, Damian enjoyed it. “Here’s a video of the black swan pas de deux from act three.” He walked over to my laptop and studied the video, eyebrows furrowed. I told him we would only do the entree, and not the adage, and he seemed accepting of it. “Looks simple enough.” I scoffed at his comment and led him to the floor. “So, we start with saute, precipite, sou soux, and I go to tendue and you to tendue arabesque back,” I demonstrated his movements and he followed with about as much grace as you’d expect. “Now, meet me at the corner and we start the first partnering section.” He nodded in silence. I appreciated how much he was concentrating on this, even though I knew he was only doing it to prove a point. “Now, don’t put your hand on my waist until I do my attitude. After I do it, I will pass through first for you to lift me. As I pass through, prepare to lift me. Your hands should be right under my ribs, thumbs pushing under my shoulder blades.” I placed his hands where they should be when he lifts me. He cleared his throat nervously. Cute. “Shall we try?” He asked, trying his best to seem unfazed, but I could hear his voice falter. “If you’re ready so am I…” I walked over to my laptop, just playing the music from there.

I had my eyes locked on him the whole time. Fully embracing Odile’s seductive character. And just as Odile had an affect on Seigfried, I had an affect on Damian. He kept glancing away from me, but I tried to hold his gaze. The entrance was successful, here were the lifts. First, was uneasy but in the end complete. Second went better than the first but the landing was rough. I had only taught him that much, he didn’t expect me to continue, but as he stood, proud of himself for completing the dance, I danced around him, seductively in character. Giving him side glances and subtle winks, until I stood infront of him in B plus, and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Now, was that so easy?” I smiled and leaned close to his face. He simply cleared his throat, looked away, looked back, and said: “About as easy as loving you.”

----

SUPER SHITTY SORRY BUT IVE BEEN BUSY

[mustakettleboil]

Part 1 - 31 to 21

31. Katy Perry ft. Nicki Minaj – Swish Swish: https://youtu.be/iGk5fR-t5AU

Si l'on devait faire une liste des artistes féminines qui ont dominé 2017, Katy n'y figurerait clairement pas. La promotion poussive de son album Witness n'a connu qu'un seul moment marquant: son duo avec Nicki Minaj, qui aura donc sauvé deux artistes du naufrage cette année. Pourtant, même ce Swish Swish a essaie trop lourdement d'être "woke", et on se serait bien passé du pseudo buzz de backpack kid.

30. Björk – The Gate: https://youtu.be/RIGgn1s3AvI

Il y a des albums de Björk plus difficiles d'accès, comme Volta ou Medulla. Utopia, annoncé comme l'album de sa réouverture à l'amour, réussit à être encore plus opaque. La faute sans doute à un excès de flûtes rappelant les plus sombres heures de vos cours de musique du collège (désolé Arca). Mais je pense que j'en viendrai à l'aimer autant que les autres, car on y retrouve (notamment sur The Gate), les élans qui faisaient déjà le charme de titres comme Unravel. En amour comme en musique, il faut laisser le temps à la beauté.

29. Frank Ocean – Chanel: https://youtu.be/XnbsIl2BnWw

Frank Ocean poursuit dans la lignée de Blonde, avec un son plus électronique, un rythme déconstruit. Et une affirmation sans ambiguité: "My guy pretty like a girl /And he got fight stories to tell / I see both sides like Chanel"

28. RY X – Bad Love: https://youtu.be/cduLVO5Rdak

Chanson pour sieste coquine.

27. Eddy de Pretto – Kid: https://youtu.be/XfbM3LD0D9Q

Pretty Eddy en finit avec Eddy Bellegueule et démolit les injonctions à cette virilité en carton qui ont bercé son enfance. Une révélation française dont on attendra de belles choses en 2018.

26. Hundred Waters – Blanket Me: https://youtu.be/usL_M7w1IEI

J'ai failli louper le retour de Hundred Waters, et ma déception a été grande à l'écoute de l'album qui me laisse globalement indifférent. Heureusement, il y a ce titre magnifique au milieu de la grisaille, où Nicole Miglis répète 95 fois "blanket me" dans une incantation crescendo qui culmine comme une transe dans une musique d'Explosions in the Sky.

25. Cardi B – Bodak Yellow: https://youtu.be/PEGccV-NOm8

Alors oui, Bodak Yellow est une petite bombe de rap, et oui Cardi B semble promise à de grandes choses, mais sommes-nous déjà prêts à ôter sa couronne à Nicki Minaj ? Elle n'a pour l'instant pas trop de souci à se faire, même Bodak ne parvient pas à rivaliser avec son Monster verse.

24. Lana del Rey ft The Weeknd – Lust for Life: https://youtu.be/eP4eqhWc7sI

La recette magique de Lana Del Rey semble ne pas perdre de sa puissance, et The Weeknd est un invité bienvenu sur ce titre.

23. Kehlani – Already Won: https://youtu.be/k8OJsHxBUko

Je sais que je radote, mais j'ai vraiment l'impression que 2017 a consacré le retour en force de tous les codes qui ont fait ma joie d'ado dans les années 90. Et Kehlani ne dément pas cette tendance avec ce titre qui m'a ramené aux meilleures heures de Brandy.

22. Charlote Gainsbourg – Deadly Valentine: https://youtu.be/LkyIVKbCfG8

J'ai toujours admiré Charlotte l'actrice, et négligé Charlotte la musicienne. Je trouve qu'elle s'épanouit bien mieux quand elle n'est pas à l'ombre de son monumental paternel. Peut-être fallait-il attendre qu'elle se lance dans l'écriture de ses propres chansons ? Peut-être fallait-il la rencontre avec les bons producteurs ? Ce Deadly Valentine sonne comme le meilleur de Air, boosté à la pop la plus moderne. Et du coup, on oublie volontiers que Charlotte n'a pas beaucoup de voix. Elle existe ici dans un ensemble cohérent qui nous emporte dès la première écoute.

21. P!nk – What About Us: https://youtu.be/ClU3fctbGls

Même si certains s'en défendent, Pink nous manque toujours entre deux albums ! Mais avec  la consécration des icônes RnB, on pouvait se demander si elle réussirait à rester une figure de premier plan dans le paysage musical. Aussi les attentes étaient-elles fortes pour la sortie de son nouvel album. Heureusement, Pink n'est pas qu'une voix bien identifiable, elle a aussi une force de caractère et une témérité qui assurent sa pérennité. Musicalement médiocre, What About Us est néanmoins à son image: engagé, vocal, rassembleur, et son clip lui permet de marquer les esprits au-delà de sa production banale.

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Dander Still Up, And Also Down, All OVer the Place. What Gives?

A. I've started this piece a whole bunch of times. So in fairness to you, reader, you have a few paths through it. If you don't feel like starting by sharing some navel-staring about today's bizarre predicament, please skip to 'D.' Or 'B,' or 'C.' Wouldn't blame you in the least. I've still got my dander up about what's happening in the many troubled reaches of health care in the United States. OK, truth to tell, also about what's up world-wide. Scary stuff. Readers have no doubt waited patiently for me to recover from confusion about this sudden mess, much of said predicament stemming from various delayed reactions to the 2008 disasters. (For the wildly popular, broader and verbally less restrained version of this consternation, from a compelling voice, see this newsletter.) Or, at least, I've waited to get over this confusion. Now I'm over it: see 'C,' below. Overall, anyone paying attention to the press—or even for that one lone DC Legislative Assistant just reading this blog for all her health policy info—you know things just ain't right. Not in academia, not in government, not in the private sector despite a record-shattering bull market run. (Leave aside for just a moment all those other issues in US foreign and economic policy, equally in the soup.) We thought matters couldn't get worse before the arrival of the latest residents of board rooms and corner (or oval) offices in each of those sectors. But, oh, wait: then, after January 2017, they did. But what gives beneath the surface? The news waves have become a deluge. But, to get to the "so what?", where are the rip-currents beneath today's tsunami of chaotic news? Why are things seemingly better in some areas than others? (For some specific examples see my Grade Point Average—GPA—scores below, introduced in this edition of the CDR (Cetona Dander Report),  I've been off the air while scrambling for some way of understanding the why behind the what. Now I think I've gotten what're at least some part-answers to my writer's block. And mirabile dictu, my dander's gone back down a little, especially over there in the Department of Health and Human Services. For one thing, as Margot Sanger-Katz recently pointed out in the Times, and we're seeing this in many places, the troubled crazy-quilt of American health care, especially among the federal branches, and the antics of the DIC (disloyalist-in-chief, or my preference, doofus-in-chief), all have paradoxically made the organization of health care somewhat less anechoic. ("You see how I did that double negative in there?") This anechoic effect I began talking about over a decade ago, during the perhaps slightly calmer Shrub and Obama years—corrupt and autocratic behavior operating under everyone's radar, and I don't miss those days—this effect has repeatedly been decried by those blogging here, especially your intrepid editor. But today, like immigration, health care is back in the political ads and it's no longer quite so anechoic, now the DIC has lanced the boil with his shrill. Hell, DIC's our poster child for health care reverb. He even claims as he campaigned on the notion of lower drug prices and better care. Just not for those people. No matter. You can't unring this bell. Everyone left with anything resembling an open mind—come November we'll get more on the 'N' of said group—they all know what far too many in his party are trying to do. Those with brains already fully devoured (burp) by QAnon are, of course, excepted. Biggest place the GOP and DIC overlap in goals: dance with all the lobbyists and Fat Cats who want to kill the baby in the bathtub. Kill the VA. Kill the ACA. Kill kill kill. If this all starts to sound a little schizzy, that's precisely the point. This is a big clue to what's become the inner dynamic of federal health policy (and economic and foreign policy) in the second half of 2018. There's campaigning to the base, and there's governing. I mean, I know, I must be the last person in Montana to recognize this dynamic, especially after everybody saw the latest blind-siding on the Russian affair. No offense to Montana. I'm not from there. I know great folks there. The executive branch of our government has cleaved in two. The White House today—quite unlike any of its predecessor administrations arguably including that of Bush II—is a perpetual political campaign. I know, others have compared it more to television reality show or one variant of the same thing: WWE. Anyway, it's a perpetual political campaign, and solely that. Its purpose is not to govern but to retain power in order to reward friends. This goes for everything it touches in health care. Campaigns depend interminably on donors and, fitfully, even voters. The problem is, there are cabinet departments, for our purposes notably the VA and HHS, where something else, something else besides perpetually rabble- and fund-raising, has to happen. Something we used to call "government." More and more a rare bird. In the White House, the bird is as extinct as the dodo. (Charlottesville was clear-cut proof of this point, when the DIC ducked his constitutional responsibility to console and unify, in order to play exclusively to his base.) "Government" clearly can't be effective by defaulting to sheer adversarialism and destruction. But interestingly, it's still there outside the White House. If not thriving, as least surviving and fitfully accomplishing some important tasks. In matters of health, like the tiny furry mammals scurrying among the dinosaurs after the asteroid, government is actually beginning to make some hopeful moves. It's time we called those out as well, and scored the agencies on how they're doing as we get close to mid-term elections. It's a balancing act between the campaigning DIC and his few fitfully effective folks. (If they tick him off and get fired, they'll be retroactively labelled "deep state.") It looks to me like health care policy management, whether around how care gets paid for, or around reuniting kids suffering from child-abuse-as-foreign-policy, has become an absurdist pas de deux between these two factions. Never have they been more distinct. In this corner, the White House, with its hacks, its DIC, its billionaire donors just a phone call away, and its campaign-job explant moles planted in key departments. And in this other corner, until maybe they get fired, cabinet appointees and sub-appointees, including some pretty good old time GOP types, who want to get the job done. The first either lets these second types do their jobs, or somebody--often one of the hacks--gets to them first. (In all of this, of course, Rule Number One is always, don't piss off the DIC. Get the job done without losing your own job.) Among the hacks closest to the ear of the DIC, and man is that an image, chief are Larry Kudlow, Mick Mulvaney, both on money matters; and John Bolton on matters involving anyone who looks, y'know, a little foreign. (Norwegians, good. The rest: maybe, y'know, drug dealers and rapists.) In 'D' below we talk about some of the other B. Here's how to get out of the distracting, enervating, confusing obsession so many of us complain about when considering health care and pretty much else coming out of today's Washington. (Not just the White House and the 15 executive departments. But especially.) Extricate yourself, that is, without sticking head in sand. Don't just take a break from all the crazy. Take a cue from the DIC Head himself. Note how fond he is calling everybody a dog. But in fact his prey, take for instance, are not dogs at all. It's the secret joy of more right wing GOP Trump-heads: we're all acting like cats. Laser cats. Just let him move that pointer around and we all go batshit batting at it. Dudes love it when we do that. We don't have to do that. Just be quiet and keep paying attention. We're on to them. Don't pounce until there's more there there than just a flickering red light. Recognize what he's doing across the board. Read Health Care Renewal. Remember, every time the red light blinks and you leap into the air, somewhere a puppy dies and a spook's security clearance goes kerplooey. C. Why mention Montana? Well, actually turns out a big source of impact on our health comes right from our natural environment and the failure of Big DIC to insure its stewardship. He appointed an Associate DIC (ADIC) to the Interior department. Ryan Zinke, best known for a career as football player (Whitefish HS, University of Oregon) and Navy Seal. (Navy.) Zinke believes the California wildfires are best explained by "environmental terrorists" rather than climate change. Not cool. The Secretary has now appointed a Whitefish team-mate essentially to vet any program that might affect our health. Steve Howke has an undergraduate business degree and a life in credit unions. So clearly he's a great pick to vet any proposed money involving more than budget-dust (i.e., > 50k) on programs. This is to make sure such expenditures "align with the administration’s priorities." Pretty much kills any chance Interior will pay attention to our health. Guy's the designated goalie to assuage the boss's desire to focus on really hopeful matters such as Clean Coal. On a slightly brighter note, when it comes to the looming underwater loss of, oh, maybe the East Coast and all of Florida, the Big DIC seems to be appointing a real expert, Kelvin Droegemeier, as his White House Science Adviser. Job's been vacant for a long time. Maybe we'll keep Florida a little longer. Guy's impressive. See for example this actual piece of science for weather prediction. Let's fly to Oklahoma and talk to this guy. Ah, the outsized influence of Whitefish, Montana. Is there a Trump Hotel in Whitefish? I know people there. I'll find out. If there's a solid gold toilet in Whitefish, we're finished. D. So finally, after such all this preamble, how's life been playing out in health care? With the exception of the comparatively tiny program to reunite refugee kids with their parents, which is hapless, until now such life's not been so very vivid for most citizens glancing at their screens. Average Joe probably can't comment on either of the biggest items. But the noisy numbers, for 2019 are as follows.

A nearly 200 billion dollar request for the VA, well over a third of which is for health care and an over 15% request over 2918.

Almost 800 billion dollars for Medicare, most of which is for Medicare reimbursements, and just a 3% increase from the previous year.

Compare this with a bit over two billion for all HHS-supervised vulnerable-populations programs, even with a whopping 29% increase over 2018.

Only a tenth or so of this two billion is devoted to refugee programs. Two hundred million divided by a trillion. Hmmm, too many zeros here, so you do the math. Rounding error. But with close to a 30% increase for forcibly orphaned kids and others, maybe the Secretary tried.

So final tally: the three above total a trillion, 80% Medicare and 20% VA.

Keep it all in perspective, bearint these things in mind.

These are budget requests. Medicare they want to gut, even beyond ACA, so in the end maybe the aforesaid 3% will drop down into negative numbers.

Even here, with the 800B request, the HHS Secretary's clearly trying to be realistic on Medicare, knowing the temper of his bosses at both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue.

Ain't it odd! VA gets a barely passing grade despite the huge increase year-over-year. But this is the reality, as we'll see below.

Back to our echo chamber and the din of the 2018 election. It's all changing now, not so anechoic any more, as Dr. Poses recently pointed out. The fact is, and you'll hear much more of this in state-by-state campaigns just now getting off the ground for the fall run-up to November 6th, it's all now as vivid as hell. We should all remember how much more vividly people feel the loss of a dollar than they feel the bestowal of a dollar. Politicians know this. The anechoic chamber fills with a joyful noise. If only because, as occurred with other earlier water-boarding-style excesses, this same political party just gave us this most recent instance of politically weaponizing cruelty. Really, not so joyful. But likely to command attention this fall. What else will command attention? Access to health care. And something for the vets who provided proud service to their nation. I wrote earlier about the VA versus political donors' influence, in that case a Koch brother and a hack somehow attached to said brother. For a while seemingly, until he alienated them too, Trump and his people acted as though "things go better with Koch." In my previous dander-post, I pointed out the "Concerned Veterans," who've always seemed most concerned with privately outsourcing veterans' services while sundering the agency that protected them. (I provided medical care to these brave warriors from both inside and outside the VA. They rarely had anything bad to say about the organization. Certainly a lot less bad than I did when dealing with that hoary bureaucracy. Certainly they don't want it to go away. David Shulkin felt the same way, and lost a battle with the DIC's hacks.) But now it's much worse. So I want to go out on this here limb and give Trump's two key departments for health care, their respective mid-term GPAs. For the VA: charitably, a D-minus. But interestingly, GPA for HHS: maybe as good as a B-, albeit constantly threatening to slide into a Gentleman's C to placate the boss DIC. Why the qualitative disparity? Well, first let's back it up a little and rack up some of the recent events upon which this GPA result is based. First let's take the VA. The place has had major problems for years and years, many of them self-inflicted with a self-referential bureaucracy second only to the Catholic Church. (David Shulkin knew he needed to fix this and was actively trying to do so when he was fired.) But the place just can't seem to catch a break. So harsh as it is for what's hopefully a work in progress that can still be salvaged either now or after 2020, the grade for this place is D- on a good day. Here are some of the hour-exams that go into the dismal assessment.

The VA's own internal watchdog just recently ripped it for failing in a recent program to help veterans' caregivers. This started before and continues during the Trump administration.

The effort to privatize VA care continues to ramify. Chasing down all the leads on this issue feels like trying to lop off the head of Medusa.

A proposed law to pay for privatization is bizarrely popular with bipartisan lip service. But it may shut down the government when you get down to finding the money.

There's a pathetic White House VA hotline about this, which reaches some hapless third party call-center folks who're powerless and clueless.

Most recently, Trump has essentially abdicated VA oversight to cronies, much like our high school footballer vetting spending at Interior. Specifically the "Shadow Rulers," a threesome of alte kakers—Palm Beach concierge doctor Bruce Moskowitz, sometime Marvel Entertainment chair Ike Perlmutter, and attorney Mark Sherman—who have in common one great thing: Mar-A-Lago! You can't make this stuff up. We owe it to politico.com (see here, here, and here) for providing superb coverage of the narrative of their undue influence. Whether official or unofficial, it's abdication of authority, with weak official leadership.

After Shulkin left, the place was forced to thrash around leaderless. It now has a guy Richard Stone, an unimpressive managerialist, but at least an Army Veteran. Not nearly enough!

Stone replaced a far better suited expert, Carolyn Clancy, who was sidelined into a looking-out-the-window job under questionable circumstances. See here.

Worth an entire blog of its own but start here: the VA's saga of health IT is a surpassingly strange, long and sordid one. The VA was among the first to have a workable EMR. It  ultimately got scrapped for lack of support and interoperability with the far more egregious and expensive failure of DOD's EMR program. (Which Shulkin sought to fix via COTS outsourcing.) Many billions down the drain on both sides. The VA system's lack of interoperability was in no way the VA's fault. They can't catch a break.

One of Trump's earliest attempts to "deal" with the VA was to put Omarosa in charge! This early episode again underlines the White House's difficulty in dealing with government organizations that give off the scent of unprivatized "deep state" players. Veterans hated her—now why would that be?

Another Cohen, not Michael, enters the picture. Also courtesy of New York's blogger-journalists at ProPublica, we learn that hedge fund billionaire (and of course DIC crony) Steve Cohen is cashing in with the VA. Altruistically, of caws. Just wants to help out all those PTSD patients. Privately, employing something modestly called "The Cohen Network." Read this whole sordid story at ProPublica. I'm seeing double Cohens in here.

Why does the VA story seem so haplessly fragmented, with lovers and haters constantly duking it out? A recent piece in Washington Monthly, by noted authors Suzanne Gordon and Jasper Craven, offers a simple and I think largely correct answer. Its supporters, especially those in Congress, know VA medicine is popular but they keep ragging on it as though it hurts its patients more than the private sector does. Not true! These guys just don't like government-run programs when the private sector friends want in. The private sector is also beset with inefficiencies, IT disconnects, and corruption. Shulkin was on the right track but got derailed. In every case, the common denominator is how VA medicine is a single frog in a single barrel. Shoot it or slowly boil it. Either way, a far easier target for meddling than HHS. This is the answer, folks. It's not that the VA needs more help than HHS, or that publicly supported health care's inherently bad. VA and HHS certainly both need a lot of help, but the VA did many fine things over recent decades. But boy is it an easy target.

Now to HHS, a very different story. A much more elusive target, for any journalist but more importantly for any DIC-hack or -backer. And now it has a Secretary about whom we may at least point to dramatic improvement over his spendthrift predecessor. The latter was a physician at that, should have had his head on straight, but who proved to be so far right, and frankly so peculiar, that at any given time he clearly could take a bite out of his own prostate. Salient points about HHS's performance under Trump:

Key people are Alex Azar, the Secretary and Seema Verma over at CMS.

They're both clearly being forced to walk a tight-rope between White House and DIC-backers' ideology, and getting a whole host of jobs done. And those jobs require a great deal of organic interaction with the private sector.

PBM companies

Big Pharma

The AMA

The payers

Patient advocates.

Last and probably least, advocates for vulnerable populations—for reasons stated above.

They both seem to be learning on the job. B.

Not all's well. Trimming back access to ACA benefits, hotly opposed by many, is still a campaign in the Congress and White House, but seemingly opposed at least in part by many within HHS. Jury's out on this one, as ACA is super-popular nation-wide. D-.

Evidence for this: tackling the ticklish issue of stabilizing the Obamacare marketplaces. Much ink-shed over this, e.g. here and here and here.  Devilishly complex but suffice it to say that some states and perhaps the Congress will go ahead (one of the above links even refers to Scott Walker and Wisconsin) and make sure reinsurance is assured. Can this be anything other than the insurance industry pushing back on the nihilists? B+.

Medicaid and its expansion are also fighting back from the preferred GOP method of compression and extinction. The abusive work requirements, playing to the DIC's base and its resentment of "free-loaders," are not likely to last. The WaPo in fact now reports the emergence of multiple objective health-services-research studies showing the salutary effects of expanded Medicaid, especially for chronic illness like diabetes. So risk payments may be restored. B+.

Drug-price negotiations are see-sawing like crazy. Trump says he believes strongly in this. Do we believe him or the PHRMA lobbyists? He touts token prize freezes. Azar seems on the fence, though he talks a good game. Congress tries to be encouraging. Jury's out. C-.

The corner of Medicare known as Advantage programs, emphasizing Accountable Care Organizations or ACOs, is another complicated matter. Verma seems to be looking to restrict ACOs to those with real accountability. Some view this as more draconian behavior, but I see her point. B+.

PBM companies—those lucrative outfits that "manage" pharmaceutical benefits—are also on the DIC's hit list. I see little progress. What I see is rural pharmacies dying out because they get caught in the PBM companies' baroque pricing schemes. D- to F.

A almost wholly unnoticed federal regulation from last month deserves much more attention. This voluminous document dramatically revises fee schedules for Medicare patients, emphasizing many of the services traditionally provided with little or no reimbursement by primary care physicians. New billing codes are proposed. For the first time the playing field may soon be leveled for many PCPs. This is a potential big win for those working for Verma. A solid A+.

The above's an excellent example of emerging claims, for example those in a worthy new Brookings piece, that real cause for optimism exists in health care reform. At least some of that stems from activities within HHS. The conservative author, Stuart Butler, deserves a careful read. He signals several "under the radar" patterns from both the states and HHS itself, flowing from increased flexibility that HHS now has. (For all its strengths, ACA was hamstrung by some fairly inflexible regulations on matters such as metrics for improving Health IT.) A+.

Average grade for HHS: B-. Why this good in an abysmal administration? As I've intimated, for every meddling White House apparatchik there's an outside interest pushing back on Azar and Verma. Lots of IT vendors. Lots of payers. Lots of innovators. (And, of course, lots of outraged citizens in the one conspicuous but miniature case of the separated children.) The very protean and risibly shuffling-buffalo scale nature of HHS may have been its greatest virtue. In an effort to satisfy the spirit of "anything but Obama," they're trying some new stuff, and some of it isn't half bad.

Thus VA and HHS are fascinating bookends juxtaposing the risks and benefits of homogeneous versus heterogeneous health planning. Right now HHS is winning, if only because of a political atmosphere in which the latter is better adapted to thrive. It could, of course, go the other way. Personally I hope the VA is restored to its former strength, perhaps in a spruced-up and more streamlined form: less bureaucratically stodgy to get away from the current predicament in which everyone from a bad manager to a bad nurse can tie the place in knots. I also hope HHS, even if Medicare For All becomes a reality, preserves opportunities for experimentation and innovation.

Article source:Health Care Renewal