#I guess that's why I like MacKay's run

[scarletfasinera]

I love when Moon Knight is a creep and he's not really the scary type of creep but just like the. Like just a "very very strange person" type of creep

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Yeah honestly the discourse is quite stressful... I don't interact with the fandom and I'm quite new to MK, and I'm pretty young so the only mainstream MK thing I've been exposed to is the show (I did read the Lemire run though, planning on reading the Jed Mackay run soon) and while I do have some of my own complicated thoughts on the show, I do sometimes feel bad for liking the characters and the show in general as much as I do because alot of fans of the comics seem to hate it lololol. I like the shows version Steven espeacially, I really love how grounded and fun he is (people seem to dislike him too tho aha) Your blog truly is Autism heaven thank you so much for putting as much effort into this as you do :-)

Boy howdy you gave me a lot to think about.

What part of Tumblr you been hanging out in? Let me tell you the secret to enjoying Moon Knight: Stay out of the discourse. Moon Knight discourse is not new and just cycles the same topics over and over and over again and have done so since the OG run in the comics.

You are allowed to like BOTH the comic and the show. Who gives a flip what someone else thinks about it? I got to listen to someone rant about how much they hated the show because it wasn't full of action and crazy and violence (they were wrong and like Moon Knight for all the wrong reasons and are the type of fan that gets on my nerves but at least they are reading Moon Knight, I guess?)

The show is a fantastic jumping on point for new and younger fans! Why? Because even though the majority of the main points of the story are different, and Steven Grant is different, it still hits the big points that make Moon Knight what it is.... That and Marc is and always will be a Dumpster Fire in every iteration.

PLUS, Steven Grant is adorable and love-able and really draws you in. Do not feel bad for liking the characters in the show. The fans of the comics who actively put down the TV show characters have no idea what they are talking about. Do they HAVE to like them? No. You are welcome to hate the show, but if you hate it for reasons of saying it isn't enough like the comics...They CLEARLY have not read the comics.

LET'S GET INTO THIS META:

The original run of the comics opens with Moench having the idea for one man living three undercover lives.

Steven Grant, millionaire philanthropist, and Charity giver.

Jake Lockely, street wise cab driver and friend to the people.

Moon Knight, a masked vigilante.

Notice how Marc Spector is not included in that. In the original idea, Marc Spector was a man on the run from himself and doing what he can to discard who he was and become someone better and different so as to make up for all the pain and wrong that he had done.

So in the OG, we get a BIT of Marc to tell his back story of how he 'died' and then we jump into Steven and Jake. A little later, Moench starts to flesh out Marc a bit, putting him into more stories with his side short stories about Marc's past and also when they go into missions that pit Marc directly against who he was and his past. Such as when the Statue is stolen and broken and he has a break down (severe existential crisis about his death and who he is). The BEST look into his past where he confronts who he was, in my opinion is when a friend from Marc's past is murdered and he goes to Israel on a special mission and for revenge. Issue 17: Master Sniper's Legacy and Issue 18: The Slayers Elite.

The thing is, Marc isn't the main character in the early OG comics. He's a presence that is always felt and often discussed and lurking in the shadows, but the main star is Moon Knight

and the character we often follow the MOST is Jake Lockley.

We also hang a lot with Steven.

Marc Spector is The Bad Guy.

Yes... Despite how every time we get a back story like the "Marc Spector Adventures" mini comic that was at the end of a few issues showing us how goofy and conflicted Marc Spector really is, he's still the bad guy...To himself. No one hates Marc Spector more than Marc Spector.

This is something that carried very well into the show.

(That is the face of a man that doesn't want to be there. Or anywhere.)

You see, Marc Spector isn't the main character of the show either. Steven Grant is.

So... Here's the BIG question.

WHY did Marc Spector become so big in the comics?

Back in the OG run, Jake Lockley and Steven Grant were the main characters. But it's hard to relate to the fancy million air that likes fine things and opera and charity events and swimming around in his pool in a speedo.)

But Jake Lockley? There's a man we can enjoy and relate to. He likes to hang with the homeless. Chat it up with some kids and play Basket Ball with them. He hangs with a single mom in the poor side of town and he drives around and takes action. He's easy to understand and easy to paint as a good honest man and a hero.

In the show? The show was ORIGINALLY going to take it from Marc's point of view. Marc was the one in the fancy Mr. Knight suit (like in the later comics drawn by the amazing Declan Shalvey.) My bet is that in the original idea for the show, Moon Knight was filled with more action and violence.

But they realized they needed to draw you in. They needed to give you someone you could relate to.

Enter Steven Grant.

(Hello dear).

I will forever be asking the question on why they went with Steven Grant and not Jake Lockley because the gentle kind and caring man in the comics is Jake... But maybe the name Steven Grant just fit the role they needed better. Either way... We got this marshmallow of sweet snarky sass.

And the personality? We can thank Oscar Isaac for Steven. He came up with the accent and had a lot of input on how to develop Steven as a character. The story naturally progressed from there.

So this is where the show and comics deviates. ....Or dose it?

Because after Moench leaves, the characters start to change.

We hit the 90s and Marc Spector, man of violence and action and dark pasts is now in and Steven Grant is out. Oh, and so is Jake.

We get a solid decade of watching Marc devolve into a disaster of character murder. It's... It's a thing alright. It's a rough read. My goal in going back through the comics is to try to pinpoint the exact moment when the characters are lost from their original personalities and Jake is turned into a violent insane Caricature of himself, Steven got the boot, and Marc became the overarching main persona.

Even in the 2000s up to 2010, Moon Knight characterization is all over the place!

It isn't until Lemire that we get a solid hold of someone trying to bring the characters back to who they were during Moench's run. Even then, it's a rough grab and by the next writer (we shall not speak of him here) we have completely lost all view of the characters again.

We don't get a redefinition of Jake, Steven, and Marc until the current run with MacKay.

This is 1984 until 2021 people! HOLY CRAP.

In fact, things got so bad in the 90s that Moench had to step in for 4 short issues to try to reset Marc Spector! (I cannot wait to get to those.)

So people that tell you that the show completely ruined the characters.... Clearly have not REALLY read the comics. In fact, ask them what their favorite run is. Give me a good laugh because I can probably guess what they are going to say.

The people that are more modern and sing praise only of MacKay need to get off their high horse and go read some Moench. I love MacKay and will sing his praise all day, but he isn't perfect. I love Lemire, but he also had some issues. Heck, even Moench had issues fleshing out his own characters at times! (and there certainly were a couple of issues that are NOT my favorites at all). Heck, I think the best fleshing out of Marc Spector was actually done by Zelenetz in the death of Elias Spector run. (I may have made a huge mistake while reviewing this run because I thought it was Moench and then realized it wasn't half way through reviewing all the other issues and then sat there for a day wondering why I was an idiot and what to do about it.)

SO. ....I'm not sure if I made my point or got distracted halfway through, but I hope I made some sense here.

The thing is, the characterization of Moon Knight depends on the writer and there is no real set thing to go on other than the fact that Marc Spector is a dumpster fire of a man. If that fire ain't burning in the shittiest way possible, they are doing it wrong.

And anyone with discourse saying the show ruined everything needs to mind their own business. I have no issue with someone hating the show. It's different. But don't tell other people they can't like it and the comics too.

They have obviously never lived through the Moon Knight waste land times when there were like five fans and no merchandise or material. I'm just happy to be able to talk about Moon Knight to someone that isn't my dog for a change.

So thank you kind Annon! Thank you for giving me someone to talk to Moon Knight with and reason to talk about them! And thank you all for listening to me ramble and rant about a little broken system of guys who have gotten the unfair shaft from Marvel more than a few times.

[positivelybeastly]

Any concern that evil beast is still technically alive trapped within a pocket dimension or whatever the fuck his plan for arakko was?

"I hope not."

"Not because I wish death upon him. I never wished that. If nothing else, his actions at the end prove that there was still something - enough, of me, in him, that . . . I don't know. I wish it could have gone differently."

"No, I hope he isn't alive because I don't want to think about what that would be like. Trapped, in a pocket of reality all of your own. Just you. Floating, endlessly, in the void. No light, no passage of time. Just you, and the steady, inexorable drum of your heartbeat. Just you, and time to think. About your failures. About the world you can't be a part of anymore. About the people you left behind.

Norman Cousins once said, 'The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.' What would such an existence be, but purely lonely?

I hope he's dead because he doesn't deserve that. No-one does."

I mean, I guess it's technically still on the table since we didn't see a body, but I don't think there's anyone really interested in picking up that plot thread. Jed MacKay, the next confirmed writer for Hank, has expressed his love for 80s Beast on many an occasion, and even said he couldn't get Hank for his Avengers team because of X-Force.

Even if one assumes he isn't salty about that, then I certainly can't see him looking upon this era and this version of Beast with any real affection. Honestly, the people who express that they'll miss evil Beast just confuse me.

What is there to miss? His characterisation, as put to page, is dogwater. It's a load of soundbites with no substance. He doesn't contribute anything that Dark Beast doesn't, and Dark Beast is funnier, more entertaining, and more sympathetic than he is!

If they want to pull a Crossing, say that evil Beast got shunted into a pocket dimension, and they yank him out to merge the two, then I'd be down, but if it's not that exact storyline, I'm not interested. I'm just so very . . . sick, and tired of evil Beast. I can't even go on Twitter and enjoy X-Men '97 discourse without people harping on about it.

Like, look, I get it, gatekeeping is bad, but sometimes I think it's necessary. Sometimes I do just want to pull out a card that says, 'You aren't qualified to talk about Hank McCoy's characterisation unless you've read the following comic series and understand these basic tenets of his character.'

This is why I hate comic book fandom. Media literacy is startlingly low. Maybe it's all the pictures. People don't actually read the goddamn words.

Makes me just want to

But anyway, to your point. I guess the potential is there, and in, like, seven years, someone might pull out another Beast out of a fucking portal and I'll just groan because really, we're doing this again, but I doubt it just because there hasn't been a single writer all across Marvel who's been like, yeah, evil Beast, love that shit, gimme that guy!

Everyone from Kieron Gillen to Rainbow Rowell to Tom Brevoort is just like, "can we knock that shit off?" "I'm pretending it doesn't exist." "Can S.W.O.R.D come back?"

Jed MacKay, open your adjectiveless X-Men run with Hank and Simon cuddling and kissing on the sofa. It's what I, personally, deserve after five years of Ben Percy.

[thevelominati]

Vengeance of the Moon Knight

Some written thoughts now, actually...

I was a little wary that Reese jumping into therapy with Andrea would feel a little contrived – it worked for Marc for obvious reasons, and as much as I’ve enjoyed Andrea as a character and how good she was for Marc, repeating her for Reese didn’t feel like it was going to be the most interesting move. I’m glad that’s not quite what it turned out to be come the end of the issue though, so Mackay’s once again proving himself as a thoroughly competent writer and I really need to stop kneejerk worrying about the directions he occasionally chooses to head in.

Aside: Reese still looks fucking awesome in the suit.

“Marc had two gods, neither of whom he was on good terms with.”

It’s a simple line, but I do appreciate it. I’ve said it before, but I’ve really enjoyed how Mackay has tried to pull through the battle with religion and identity (and Judaism/his upbringing) that was so present in the 80s run to the present, because it did feel like a lot of the 90s/00s dropped that in favour of specifically focusing on Marc’s issues and relationship with Khonshu which – yeah, interesting and dynamic, but it’s most interesting when you consider what it’s played off against. He’s not just a man with dubious mental health and dubious trauma processing skills who’s the avatar of an Egyptian god, he’s a Jewish man with all of the above and a contentious relationship with every god (and father…) figure he encounters!

Ben Grimm is so good, I love him. I love the fact that Jake played poker with him and Ben insisted on remaining a connection with Judaism for Moon Knight as a whole, regardless of Marc’s … everything.

I am interested in what kind of conversations Marc had about funerals/his death he did actually have with anyone else in the Mission though. How did it come up? Why did it come up? Did Reese and co strongarm him into having a discussion about ‘so, what the fuck actually happens if you die?’ because I’m not sure I can really buy him sitting down and having that conversation of his own free will.

I wondered if we were going to see Marlene and Diatrice, or Frenchie and co, but them not knowing Marc’s dead (unless it’s covered in the news and they find out that way, I guess) and no-one at the Mission having a way to get in touch with any of them makes sense. The only characters it doesn’t mentally make sense for IMO is Gena and Crawley – I can buy both of them (more Gena than Crawley) not wanting anything more to do with Marc and everything he brings into their lives, but I don’t think either of them would have moved away from NYC in the same way Marlene and Frenchie have evidently done so.

I do find it interesting to note that Marc apparently did speak about JP and the rest of them a little bit though, given the comment about “any of the old crew”.

I feel like there are probably some interesting thoughts to be had on how Marc viewed being MK as his debt, duty, and everything about his life, whilst Reese is very much ‘I’ve got a lot of (un)life ahead of me, this isn’t going to be what I do forever’ about it. Where Sterman expresses concern about how Reese is processing or not her grief, it feels like this is quite an IC way for Reese to process her grief.

Tigra! My beloved! I love the contrast between Reese and Tigra (also, Tigra’s arms, unf) and the reminder that Tigra can be very brutal herself. There’s a reason why Marc and Greer have always gotten along, after all! I also really appreciate how whilst Reese’s approach at this point is to try and reflect the way that Marc was, to an extent, trying to run the Midnight Mission, she’s not aware of how much Marc didn’t let her see his brutality and questionable methodology. She’s not necessarily got any illusions about the type of person Marc was, but she didn’t get the same type of exposure to how fucked up he could be and the amount of blood he could be willing to spill.

Which kind of brings us to her not recognising the ~~new Moon Knight. I am really excited for the potential of came back wrong! Marc and what that’ll mean for the Mission, but I don’t want to wait until Feb 14th…

(Also poor 8-Ball. Everyone forgets about him. Don’t worry Jeff, we love you…)

[jujapaya]

Adding on because op, you summed it up perfectly. These are also my thoughts, but I want to add two things.

Prepose does a wonderful job of telling and not showing, which is the complete opposite of the most important rule of the book: SHOW, don’t tell. As a person who loves to write and draw, this is especially important to me. Readers love being SHOWN what is happening instead of being TOLD what is happening.

Example, I can sum up Marc is being absolutely pathetic in his mind because I know the character. However, he’s a bit… too pathetic? If that makes sense. He has too many boxes telling the reader exactly what is happening. Which, if you don’t know, is not a great way to go about writing. Readers love to visualize and think about what is going on. I’ve read too many tips saying that. Too many. When you leave no wiggle room for imagination, it gets tiring and repetitive.

Comics use art to show you what is going on. Why not use that to its full potential? (I’m guessing it’s because of the issue limit for the event series. However, if it doesn’t get better at showing and not telling, I’m blaming Prepose.)

My second thing aligns with what I just said.

This box. This box is, to me, the most conflicting thing in the entire first issue. Of course, Juhbebbie goes over the general stuff that’s wrong, but this has been grinding my gears.

Again, Prepose tells the reader this is happening. I would’ve liked to see that. Considering that this issue is 32 pages and a standard issue for a MK run is around 25 pages (currently)? You could’ve added an extra two panels showing that.

NO arguments toward the artists in this run though. Except for how they drew Layla, BUT BUT BUT, it’s a very very pretty run. I do have to give it props to that.

I think why this box has me absolutely livid for an odd reason is because he isn’t like that. That’s not his character. He isn’t a “I missed you so much and now I’m going to hold you” guy. Remember, it took 22 issues and an entire blow up argument for Greer and Marc to accept they love each other. Even Marlene didn’t get close to the System when their DAUGHTER was kidnapped, and Marc didn’t get near her either.

I get that Marc see’s Layla’s death as his fault. However, it’s been like… what? 12 years since Layla’s death? People change over 12 years. Neither of them are the same since the day at the City of Alexandria and Marc, as a character, is smart enough to know that. He’s usually all business first, heart warming scenes later. At least, that’s how it goes in the Mackay run.

I love how clever Marc is being, manipulating his memories and all… but he’s also clever in the fact that he knows when or when not to do something like this. Also, he’s so… venerable (if that’s the right word) in this one box. He had to work himself up to be venerable to anyone in the Mission, and that took, what, 13? 14 issues?

Again, Prepose is on an issue crunch, but I would’ve loved to see a heart to heart maybe after a large fight, or something? A few issues in and not the first issue. Bring it home with how much both of them have changed and express that they both know that. Twelve years is a long time. Heck, I barely know my old friend I haven’t seen in two years. Add a decade to that, and it feels like the two should barley know each other. Both of them have changed significantly.

These are just my thoughts, tagged along with Juhbebbies because they are SO BASED!! Read their thoughts because I fully agree. I feel so conflicted yippe!!

BUUTTT props to this run actually being super pretty. Best panel yet? This one. This one is so pretty and I want everyone to know it.

Okayyyyy so City of the Dead thoughts for anyone who cares

Was I disappointed? My expectations weren't super high so I guess not, but the super overdramatic self pitying narration threw me off quite a bit. Like okay man chill out a bit. Kind of expected to not see Layla until the end so I guess there I was disappointed but not surprised. Fingers crossed she will be a central character from here on out and not a one and done thing in the series.

Okay elephant in the room time. I know a lot of people have been saying they REALLY did not like it and I really cannot blame them, but also I'm trying to stay hopeful because it just the first issue. I'm hesitant to get pissed off over the total lack of Jake and Steven just yet, when in Mackay's series neither made an appearance until like a year into the run. Yes this series isn't going to be nearly as long, but still. That being said, no I definitely don't expect Moon Knight to really be shown as a system, but I'm gonna give Prepose a couple more issues to prove me wrong (the bar is on the floor). Mainly just because I feel like it would be hypocritical of me to denounce Prepose for not including them and then praise Mackay when it took him 12 issues to really acknowledge that they are a system. I'm going to give Prepose a chance since he wrote a pretty good Black, White, and Blood story that did have them shown as a system in a pretty cool way imo.

All this to say that I'm not trying to undermine anyone else's concerns, this is just my own opinion and trust me, based on what little interviews I've read I fully expect Jake and Steven to be completely ignored and if (and when) that happens I will be right there with the rest of yall lol. I will say that it's already very clear that the set up so far was not written with the intention of having a place for Steven or Jake, which is very disappointing.

Okay positive things! I enjoyed seeing Dr Badr a lot and i didn't have much of an issue with how he and Marc's relationship was portrayed. Yes in the main run they're closer now, but they are still very much at odds but willing to work together towards a common goal, which is exactly what we see here in this issue.

I also liked where the thing with the kid is going. The detail of him being kicked out after his brother's death definitely makes me think he's going to be a reflection of Marc, which would be a cool parallel to have.

And the art for the most part was really gorgeous! I don't know what the hell was going on with Layla there at the end (otherwise great male artists not knowing how to draw women), but other than that I REALLY loved how the actual city looked.

And the Egyptian mythology was actually a lot more accurate than it usually is, which, as someone who has always been a total nerd about that stuff, actually made me really happy. There are several specific things I wanted to point out but this post is long enough as is.

Also. "I don't care if I burn" that was badass as shit come on. One of the (admittedly several!) moments of overdramatic writing that came off very well kind of like how it does in the Mackay run (don't wanna compare this too much to the Mackay run though because I understand it's obviously going to be different and that's fine)

But yeah. The overall feel and tone was very... off. I was on board with the general plot and Marc's motivations but everything around the basic plot structure just seemed like Prepose was trying to do a weird Huston run thing and it wasn't working (I don't think it worked in the Huston run either but I digress).

I've seen people saying that they didn't like how Marc was an enthusiastic follower of Khonshu, but that wasn't really the vibe I got at all? If anything it was pretty clear how much he hated everything he was doing. Which also kinda felt off. Having him say that everything was "punishment" over and over just kind of felt like I was getting hit on the head with a theme that didn't even make sense for the character, at least not at this point. Don't get me wrong, self punishment is absolutely a big part of Marc Spector's character, but there is an important distinction between doing things to right your past wrongs and doing them because you feel like you deserve it. And it seemed like Prepose understood that at first, but then later into the issue I was like Marc PLEASE shut the fuck up about punishment lol.

People more knowledgeable than myself have said things about how this looks from the standpoint that this is also a Jewish character, but all I'm going to say as a general statement for all of Moon Knight's runs is that I wish they would let him be explicitly Jewish more often. It's mentioned in Mackay's run the clash between Marc's service to Khonshu and his Judaism, but I think that that is such an interesting part of his character that needs to be discussed WAY more!

Anyway, to make a long story short, definitely not the strongest first issue, but it absolutely had some great moments and I'm going to go forward with my expectations still pretty low, but willing to give it a shot for Layla's sake. But the fact that a run featuring Layla is already not turning out to be very good is a little bit heartbreaking for me I'm not gonna lie lol. I was going to go and buy myself a copy of this issue, but after actually reading it I didn't really want it anymore. So 😬 fingers crossed for the next issue I guess?

[ilivelikeimtrying]

Leosagi enemies to lovers AU (based on the song: Your Stupid Face by Kaden MacKay) where Usagi works for Big Mama/A Crime Boss and him and Leo cross paths a lot but instead of Leo falling first it's Usagi.

So something like this:

Leo /Usagi

(this song does not in anyway belong to me, please go check them out)

-

Leo:

☆

I just really hate your face

Though I know that won’t surprise you

But, to me, your skin is one giant wart

And your laugh’s one big snort

And you stink, so, in short, I despise you~

☆

You disgrace the human race

‘Cause you’re more of a mosquito

I would rather have the dentist and drill

Then this swine in the swill

And if you were a bill, I would veto~

☆

And if the world was perfect

You would be gone without a trace

But since the world could never be that great

I’ll just hate your stupid face~

☆

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo~

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo~

.

(after a few more accidental meet ups)

.

Usagi:

Oh no...

Nooo...

✧

I just really like your face

You don’t have to look so happy!

I’m not really into love that you flaunt

In some glittery font

But if that’s what you want

Make it snappy!

✧

I just feel so out of place

Well, except for when you’re near me

When you’re gone, I’m like a plant with no root

Or a song that’s on mute

Don’t you dare call it cute!

You should fear me!

✧

And if the world was perfect

You would have never invaded my space

But since the world’s obsessed with saying “psych!”

Now I like your stupid face

✧

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

✧

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

.

(A reluctant betrayal)

.

Leo:

✿

I just really miss your face...

Though, by now, I must disgust you

I had tried to be the stubbornest mule

‘Cause I knew life was cruel

So I guess I was foolish to trust you...

✿

But I wait here, just in case

Though I know I’m being senseless...

How could I have ever been so naive

And wear my heart on my sleeve

When I knew it would leave me defenceless...

✿

And if the world was perfect

You would be here in my embrace

But since the world denied me one last kiss

I’ll just miss your stupid face

...

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

.

(cue signature Leon stubbornness to not give up on Usagi)

.

"Usagi!"

"Leonardo? What are you doing here?"

"I- I wanted to see you again-"

"Leo-san there is nothing to say. You saw me as I am, a monster, and even ran-"

"I didn’t run away! …It was a strategic retreat!"

"...."

"I wanted to, to talk-"

"What is there to talk about? It’s over—I ruined it."

"No you didn't! I know that wasn't you! And I know how sorry you are, aren't you?"

"Well yeah, of course I’m sorry, but—"

"Then that's all I need to know, and I've already forgiven you Usagi, without hesitation."

"No- no! Don’t forgive me! Why do you do that? Why give me another chance to mess things up... ?"

"Because I.... I... "

"... Because you WHAT ?!"

.

.

.

Usagi:

★

Those three little words

Out of the blue

Completely uncalled for

Especially from you

★

Why don’t you hate me?

Why do you care?

Can’t you berate me? Isn’t that fair?

Where is your glare?

★

Don’t you dare leave our problems and pain on the shelf!

Because if you don’t hate me, I can’t hate myself...

★

But that’s why I need you

You shatter my fear

‘Cause despite my misdeed

You are still right here

★

Though it’s stupid to date me

You’re willing to try

And if you don’t hate me

Then why should I?

.

.

.

"Are you sure you don't want to give up on me?"

"Uh- yeah, pretty sure dude."

"You're a moron...”

.

.

.

Both:

♡ ♡

So you think that we could work?

Here I thought I’d been the dumb one

("What?") You’re forgiving me for all I did wrong

You’re unmuting the song

And again, I belong to someone

♡ ♡

No- You can drop the stupid smirk

Though, by now, I guess you’ve earned that

‘Cause no matter how intensely I pout

Your stupid face will win out

And I guess it’s about time I learned that

♡ ♡

And though we go together like a Chanel No.5 and mace

At least it’s not as dull as fitting like a glove

‘Cause you’re a nightmare that I’ve not been dreaming of

But I suppose that when push comes to shove

("Fine.")

I love your stupid face

♡ ♡

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

.

.

.

"Your stupid face."

[stxleslyds]

MOON KNIGHT #15

AND THE IMPORTANCE OF SHOWING KEY MOMENTS.

Earlier today I saw a really lovely post talking about how important it was that MacKay took the time to show us how Marc told Soldier, Hunter’s Moon and Reese about his DID and how they reacted to it.

I have to say that I completely agree. I haven’t been reading Moon Knight runs for a very long time but right now I have read every single solo run except for Shadowland’s mini, and that allows me to think that we have never seen Marc have a conversation like that with anyone that has been in his life (or better said, comic history) before this run.

(Diatrice was told by Marc that he had DID, but she hasn’t been here for that long).

Marlene, Frenchie, Crawley and Gena (along her boys) were never shown in panel receiving information like this from Marc, Steven or Jake.

Yes, there was the big team up back in the day, Moon Knight vol.1 issue 2, when Steven revealed to Gena, her boys and Crawley that he was Jake Lockley and that Jake was a disguise like Moon Knight. Important thing to note was that Steven never revealed Marc Spector to them (that was because Steven and Jake were disguises that Marc had come up with so he could rid himself of Marc Spector, although that didn’t work very well for him most times).

But going back to my initial thought, none of the two to four most important people for the Moon Knight system have never been explicitly shown reacting or simply being told that Marc/Steven/Jake have dissociative identity disorder.

Throughout the years it has been explained as the MK system being schizophrenic or simply mentally ill. Marlene was the one that was more “in tune” with Steven’s “fragile” mental and identity state but writers like Moench never actually “diagnosed” Steven/Marc/Jake with any type of disorder which I believe was because there was a lot of stigmas surrounding mental illness back in the day (more than there is today) but also because it was a time where there was a lot of debate on what was what and how things like “Multiple Personality Disorder” worked.

All of that, plus many years of writers avoiding the system’s mental disorder as well as doing with it whatever atrocity they could, led to us never having panels like the ones with had with Reese in this last issue. And that is a shame. Even though the DID diagnosis has been present in Moon Knight comics since 2014 (with Ellis’ run introducing that “concept” half way through), no writer until MacKay has taken a serious and respectful approach to the reality that Marc had to confront in the last few issues.

Marc pushing though his fear and internalized hate/ableism (due to trauma, Khonshu and years of being victim of ableist behaviour) realised that he should be as honest as he could about himself and his alters to those who are closest to him right now, so, as the needy human that I am, I would also love to see MacKay write or show in any sort of way if Marlene, Frenchie, Gena and Crawley have received this information, and because I am greedy I also really want for those four characters’ reaction to not be villainized or turned into part of the reason why they are not in the MK system’s life currently.

I guess that all of this rant comes from my fear of watching old characters be treated as if they were still living in the 80s when the newest have the fresh and open perspective that we should all have in 2022.

I trust MacKay and I can see the love letter that he is writing to Marc Spector’s character in this run. The devotion and respect that he has shown is outstanding, which is why I wish that if he ever brings some of the good old friends back, he also holds that same respect for them because none of them were as receptive as Reese was, as kind or as “accepting”. But that was back in the day, where everything related to mental wellbeing was borderline a massive joke, if those characters’ reactions where to be shown today I would love to see them being written as beautifully as Reese’s or Soldier’s.

Anyway, I would like to thank Jed MacKay for this run but specially the last three issues, his writing has been nothing but excellent and I am (as many others) truly happy and grateful that he is leading this creative team. I hope to have him as well as this team working on Moon Knight for a very long time.

[malice-death]

Remnant’s TD Au

Character Songs, Ship Songs, and Team Songs

I put this together for fun, please enjoy.

CHARACTER SONGS Mailman (Oscar Pine)

Unlikely Hero by The Hoosiers

Underdog by You Me At Six

Car Radio by 21 Pilots

A Sadness Runs Through him by The Hoosiers

Fear by Casey Lee Williams

Burnface (Cinder Fall)

Awake by Ok Goodnight

Get You Dare Forget the Sun by Get Scared

Redemption by Riell and others

Why Am I Like This by The Word Alive

Oh My Dear Lord by The Unlikely Candidates

Frozen Nightmare (Winter Schnee)

Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez

Alone Again by Asking Alexandria

Runnin by Adam Lambert

Everybody’s Fool by Evanescence

Rivers in the Desert Covered by Lollia

Coward (Adam Taurus)

I’m Okay by Honest Men

House of Gold by 21 Pilots

Confrontation by Anthony Warlow

Worried About Ray by The Hoosiers

Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons

TEAM SONGS

Dead! By My Chemical Romance

ANIMOSITY by The Warning

Clock Strikes by ONE OK ROCK

REVIVER by MY FIRST STORY

still feel by half alive

SHIP SONGS

Rosegarden

Rose by Honest Men

New Light by John Mayer

Can I Be Him by James Arthur

Falling Laughter

You & Me by James TW

No Promises by Cheat Codes/Demi Lovato

May I by Trading Yesterday

Snowbird

We Don’t Have to Dance by Andy Black

One Hell of a Team by Amalee/Divide Music

Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives

Adam x Blake (seriously what is their ship name?)

Enchanted covered by Owl City

Little Talks by Of Monsters & Men

Are You Bored Yet by Wallows/Clairo

Mashup of Ships

(Basically like I guess amv songs)

In The Name of Love by Martin Garrix/Bebe Rexha

World So Cold by 12 Stones

Puzzle Pieces by Framing Harley

Don’t You Dare (Make Me Fall In Love) by Kaden MacKay

Youth By Daughter

Thank you for reading.

[thevindicativevordan]

Any weekly reviews ?

Sure, if you guys are interested remember to ask:

Nightwing #96 - Taylor finally discovers how to pace an issue right as the arc ends. Final fight was satisfying, Blockbuster dying gets a thumbs up from me cliché as it is (can we please focus on other Nightwing villains from now on?), and I guess Dick and Babs are getting married in issue 100. Don't drag this Heartless story out for 15 issues Taylor, and I might actually enjoy this book despite your best efforts.

Batman/Superman #7 - Good first issue to the new arc, it's fun to see Mora draw the Fortress with Pre-Crisis Kandor and Post-Crisis artifacts like the Kryptonian battlesuit right next to each other. Man Waid knows how to write a great DickRobin, Dick flirting with that Kandorian is hilarious, wouldn't mind him taking on the Titans. I'm guessing Joker killed Earth 0 David to justify him showing up in this arc, but I don't know who that guy the Key was starving was.

Judgement Day #5 - Humans getting resurrected opens up a whole new can of worms. This isn't a sustainable status quo so something obviously has to happen that limits the resurrective power of the Five. Gillen's really stepping up to inject some momentum back into the X-books which has been missing since Hickman left.

Batman One Bad Day: Two Face - Boring. King at least tried to shake the dynamic up with Batman and Ridldler, this just felt like a bog standard Two-Face story you'd run as filler. Batman not immediately realizing what was going down the moment he saw the letter felt like an asspull, I could tell where this was going, you're saying the World's Greatest Detective didn't suspect Two-Face of being the true culprit behind the threatening letter? Disappointing showing from Tamaki, least Javier Fernandez draw the hell out of it.

Batman: The Knight #9 - Perfectly solid and enjoyable issue much like the rest of this mini. At this point we pretty much know how things play out and Zdarsky just has to go through the motions which he does a solid job of doing.

Black Adam #4 - I'm glad Priest knows about the "black hero with lightning powers" cliché. I'm at the typical point in a Priest story where I don't quite understand what's happening, but I'm looking forward to sitting down when the mini is finished and reading it all in one. That usually makes everything click into place, assuming Priest doesn't just tell you what happened like he usually does.

Strange #6 - Never knew what Wong's deal was, so for me this was a welcome "baby's first Wong" issue. Yes I am a total casual to Marvel Mystic, I apologize. MacKay is up there with Ewing when it comes to talent at acknowledging the wider MU, and incorporating that into his books, without it derailing the story. Liked that he had Wong bring up Mysterium and use it to show why Clea would have issues with the mutants.

[george-mackay-macfine]

Dear Diary Prt. 13

A/N: We're back Baby

---------------------

December 22nd, 2011

Dear Diary,

It’s six o'clock in the morning, a ludicrous time to be awake really, but we’ve got a long day ahead of us. We’re driving home with George and Jordan today.

Now, We’ve been doing this for a couple of months, and it’s been working out well. Starting everything off with ‘Dear Diary’ (something I was critical off, but now is so natural) and then me verbally purging my innermost, and most inappropriate thoughts onto the painfully white pages - We’ve done well, we’ve faced a lot but now we’re going up against the most painful thing we’ve ever faced since we started this journey.

Christmas with my family

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family but they drive me insane with their constant nagging about my love life - now at least I’ll have something to brag about - and my career choices.

Will I work in the family practice? Go on to a surgery discipline?

Drives me mental.

I’ll write more soon, I have to get my parka into my bag,

Love, Y/N.

December 22nd, 2011 - One o'clock

Jordan, George and I are finally in the car, we left after Jordan and George practically had to pull me from why bedroom as I was running around picking up anything I might need on the week-long visit.

“Y/N,” George yelled from the couch. “You nearly done?"

"Yeah.” I puffed out. “Just tryna….” Breathing raggedly from trying to shove my parka into the bag.

“What?"

"Parka,” I grunted. The material for this thing was too damn puffy, and not nearly malleable enough. “Just trying to fit it,"

"Just carry it Y/N,” Jordan called, “We’ve gotta get on the road, or we’ll not be there until tonight and I don’t know about your mum,” He appeared at the door, eyes watching me as I tried to fold the material, “But mine’s already threatened to cut off my balls if I’m late for tea, and I quiet like my balls, useful for things,”

"He’s right,” George called.

“I know he is,” I groaned pulling the coat out of the overstuffed bag. “That’s why it’s so annoying.” I zipped the duffle up and pulled the coat over my body, looking to Jordan who was giving me a toothy grin. I still can’t believe this is the same Jordan who tried hitting on me the first night I’d met him, and subsequently every night out up until a couple weeks ago,

“Y/N?” Jordan snapped his fingers, “You in there?”

“What?” I shook my head, “Yeah, I’m here.” I picked up the bag and looked around. “Okay,“ I looked around checking for anything I may have forgotten to shove into the bag, "I’m ready,"

"Finally,” Jordan clapped. “Let’s go, I’ll carry it,” He reached for the duffle. I passed it over to him, closing my bedroom door behind us as we walked into the living room.

“Where are your bags?” I looked around for George and Jordan’s luggage.

“We put it in the car before we came to get you,” George pulled open the front door and stepped into the hallway, holding it open for us.

“Such a gentlemen,” Jordan teased as he passed George. I quickly looked around making sure everything was locked. “Harry checked it all before he and Dean left,”

“Oh,” I walked out the door and waited for the pair. “Ready?”

“Only a couple hours till we all get to eat a home-cooked meal,” Jordan cheered.

“Only a couple hours until my mother and father, and the rest of my family ask me unending questions about my first semester, you mean.” I altered.

“Tell em about the time you got drunk,” Jordan suggested as I shut the door behind us,

“Which time,” George cackled to himself as we began our way down the hallway,

“I think the nacho time was probably the best one,” Jordan smirked,

“Oh, you mean the dinner we weren’t invited too?” George looked over to Jordan, a smile bubbling on his face.

“That’s the one I mean George,” Jordan pushed open the door to the stairwell.

“It was supposed to be a study session,” I defended myself, “Dean turned it into something more, not me.”

“Don’t blame Dean just because you didn’t want us there,” George tutted.

“Yeah Y/N,”

“But don’t worry Y/N, we have five hours to discuss why you didn’t invite us to dinner,” I could hear the smirk in George’s voice as we stepped down another flight.

“Seems like it’ll be more like five hours with two bullies in the car,"

"Don’t be silly Y/N,” Jordan threw his arm around my shoulder. “Doncaster is only 3 hours away,"

"Lucky me,”

“You love it Y/N, admit it.” George chuckled. “Wouldn’t want to make this drive with anyone else,”

He’s got you there Y/N, five hours sitting next to George… I need to sit in the front seat.

“Yeah sure,” I quickly moved down the stairs. Beat Jordan, Beat Jordan. Beat Jordan, Beat Jordan.

“So, now your in a rush Y/N?” Jordan laughed.

“No,” I called over my shoulder back towards the idle walking men, “Just wanted shotgun,” I screamed as I pushed open the final door and began running towards George’s car.

“No, you don’t Y/N,” Jordan screamed at me, the sound of his feet hitting the concrete stairs in the stairwell echoing as he ran after me. “I’m gonna get ya,"

"Stop it Jordan,” I squealed over my shoulder. “George, tell him to stop it,"

"Y/N?"

"Tom?” I stopped, Tom was standing in front of me, his hands in his pocket a look of confusion covering his face.

“What are you doin?” He laughed,

“Run Y/N!” George yelled from behind me as he emerged from the stairwell.

“Go!“ Tom pushed my shoulder gently sending me back into a full sprint towards the car. “Run Y/N,”

Jordan and I were neck and neck as we reached the car.

"Mine,” We screamed together, hands reaching out.

“I got it,” Jordan cheered his palm flat against the metal.

“Fuck,” I groaned, hands dropping to my knees as my lungs tried to kill themselves. “Jesus,"

"You really aren’t fit are you?"

"No,” I shook my head wildly, “Not at all,"

"After Christmas,” He patted my shoulder.

“Great,” I panted, hands still resting on my knees. “Can’t wait,"

"You alright Y/N?” George strolled towards me, Tom by his side. “You lost by the way,”

"Yes, I know.” I groaned. “Hi Tom,” I stood up a little straighter, ignoring the burning of my lungs, a smile coming to my lips as I took him in. “Won’t be a second George, I’ll meet you both in the car?"

"Yeah,” George held his hand out to Tom, “Happy Christmas,"

"See you in the New Year?” George nodded, “Mates throwing a party for New Years, you’re all welcome,"

"We’ll be there,” George winked cheekily at me as he passed. Tom walked over to me, pulling me to his chest,

“It’s going to be weird not seeing you for a week,” He mumbled into my hair, “I’ve grown used to seeing

you."

"At least it’s only a week,” I looked up at him. “I better go,” He nodded and leant down placing a chaste kiss on my lips. “Seven days,"

"Seven days,” He let go of me. His hand wrapped in mine as he walked with me to the car. He opened the door and waited for me to sit in the backseat behind Jordan, “Keep her safe MacKay,"

"Always,” George laughed as he started the ignition.

“Message me when you get there,"

"I will,” Tom closed the door and stepped back onto the footpath,

“Ready Y/N,” Jordan turned around in his seat looking back at me.

“Ready,”

So far the trip has been fine, Jordan, from the front seat, has been trying to get George and I to play I-spy with him, nearly the whole way, somehow he’s not figured out yet that if he stops picking things and looking at them for three minutes before he speaks we won’t guess so quickly what he’s chosen.

I’ll write more when I’m home diary, I’ll let you know how dinner with the family went.

Love Y/N,

December 22nd, 2011 - Seven o'clock

Dear Diary,

I just need to quickly write down what just happened for prosperity, then I have to run down and have dinner with the family. So it began when George had pulled up out the front of my house.

“Here we are,” George pulled the car into the curb bringing it to a still. I looked out the window and up at the house I’d grown up in. “You’re not going in?"

"Just want one more minute of silence before I run in and get bombarded with all the questions,"

"It won’t be that bad Y/N,” I looked from the house to him, He was leaning back on his headrest looking at me already.

“You don’t know my family,” I copied his form. “They’re mental, I’m surprised my mum hasn’t popped her head through the window yet,” I groaned. “And then it’ll be onto their constant nagging about my love life,”

“Least you have Tom now,"

"I wish it ended there, it’ll then go to my career choices. Will I work in the family practice? Go on to a surgery discipline maybe?” I let my head fall. “Every year, since I was fifteen they’ve been asking the same questions,"

"I’ll make you a deal, you go in there and face the hordes, and if it gets too much, send me a text saying Christmas tree and I’ll come to save you, we’ll run away together,"

"Christmas tree?” I laughed, George nodded his head,

“Christmas tree,"

"Okay,"

"Okay,” He reached across and pushed my fallen hair behind my ear, “You can do this, you’re Y/N Y/L/N,"

"Sounds so much bigger than it is when you say it,” I laughed picking up my duffle bag from my feet. I opened the door and went to step out, stopping to turn back to George, “Christmas Tree,” He nodded his head.

“I’ll be here, with bells on,"

“You’d look cute with bells on,”

“You’re cute when you’re flirting.”

“I wasn’t flirting.” I watched him as he turned away and looked up at the sky once more.

“I wish you had been. Tom better now how bloody lucky he is,”

So that happened. George happened. But he always happens when I don’t expect it…

Now it’s time for Christmas dinner with the family, I’ll write more if anything other than the nagging happens,

Love Y/N

December 23rd, 2011

Dear Diary,

I’ve survived two days (Basically two days), only just. I’m already starting to pull my hair out. The constant invasive questions from my family… It’s unbearable… The worst one though had to, by far come from my Aunt Mildred, who at dinner the night I’d arrived asked if I’d lost my virginity yet, or if that had happened a while ago. She then went into excruciating detail about how she lost her virginity.

I’ll never be the same.

I’ve considered messaging George, but I don’t want to ruin his time with his family.

Five more days Diary, five more days

December 24th, 2011

Dear Diary,

I’m ready to kill my family. As if Aunt Mildred’s descriptive, beyond detailed story about how she lost her virginity wasn’t enough. Now, my mum has sat me down, tonight, the night of the birth of Jesus mind you, and tried to have a safe sex talk with me… Like I haven’t known about sex, let alone sex for the last few years, since grade seven actually, and then she had the audacity to act surprised when I cut her off mid-sentence telling her I knew about the birds and the bees as she so aptly put it.

Now she thinks I’m lying about being a virgin.

Great. Just, great.

I had gotten through nearly three days before I’d sent a message to George, I needed some normalcy or my new sense of normalcy. He replied pretty quickly, saying he’d be out to pick me up, true to his word, Ten minutes later he was beeping out the front of my house.

“I’m going out,” I called as I trudged down the stairs.

“You can’t Y/N, it’s Christmas,” Mum cried from the kitchen as I passed by.

“It’s Christmas Eve, Ma.” I groaned. “I’m just going to see some old friends, and I’ll be home before tea,"

"Let her go,” Mildred called from her seat on the settee. “She’s only young once,” For once Aunt Mildred wasn’t speaking utter crap.

“I’ll be home soon,” I back out towards the front door when my mother didn’t protest to Mildred. “Before you know it,” I called finally as I shut the door behind me. I’d have to fight this battle later, but at least for now, I’d have a couple of hours without being driven up the wall.

“Your chariot, M'lady,” George called from inside his car, his head hanging out the window, I jogged over and slipped into the passenger side. “Your mum’s watching us,” I followed his line of sight to the window where my mum and Mildred had gathered to spy on us.

“And my Aunt Mildred.” George snorted turning the key in the ignition. “Where are we going?"

"No idea,"

"Want to play twenty questions?”

“Sure."

"You go first,” I moved in the seat so I was looking more directly at him. Watching as his lips pursed, before he smirked.

“Have you ever checked me out when I’ve walked away from you.” My cheeks burned a bright red. “And remember friend’s don’t lie to each other.” I leaned over the console a little.

“I am not answering that,” I gawked.

“Don’t worry, You just did,"

"My turn…. What’s your favourite eye colour,"

"Yours.” My heart melted as he looked over and smiled sending me a cheeky wink. “I like the colour of yours, What’s more important? Truth or Happiness?"

"Truth. We make our own happiness…” George nodded his head a smile pulling on his lips. “Have you ever been arrested?"

"Once.” He nodded his head, his jaw clenched a little as he spoke. “I was seventeen… Young and stupid."

"What happened?” I listened carefully to George. I’d seen many sides to him since our first night together on Ben Daniel’s roof, but this was new. A softer side, a more fragile side.

“This was when I was dating Laura Francis, you remember, her and Mason and Taylor?” He gave me a quick sideways glance, waiting for an indication I’d remembered his friends.

“Yeah,"

"We were out one night in Cambridge before we were eighteen mind you,” He cleared his throat as he thought about this next words, “We’d all been drinking with Mason’s older brother and his friends, so we were smashed, and we went to this club,” He cleared his throat again, His eyes narrowed as he watched the road, “I started a fight and a lot of stuff got broken, we all got arrested."

"Why’d you start a fight?"

"Laura was hooking up with another guy,"

"And you punched him.” I filled in the blanks. “And that’s how you got arrested."

"Yeah,"

"Well,” I cleared my own throat, “Laura was kind of a bitch in school, so it’s really not a big loss,” George’s lips move as laughter bubbled through.

“Only you can make me laugh over that, Y/N,” He shook his head. “What are your favourite hobbies?” I ran a hand through my hair, using the minute to digest the story George had told me,

“I like photography and writing.”

“I do always see you writing in your diary?” He looked across at me as we pulled to a stop. “What are you writing about?”

“Things,"

"Am I one of them?"

"What a thing?"

"Something you write about?"

"You’re in my life aren’t you?"

"Yes,"

"So yes, you are"

"Will you show me one day?"

"Maybe one day.” I nodded my head, I had no intent to show him, Diary.

“How about some food?” He pulled into the car park of the McDonalds we’d wasted hours in the night we’d met. “Is that?” His eyes narrowed as he leant forward on the steering wheel, squinting out into the sun. “No fucking way,” I followed his eyes to where he was looking. Standing beside a shitty old maroon car was Julian and Sarah.

“Julian,"

"And stalker Sarah,” George quipped. “They’ve seen us,” Julian had stood up straighter, nodding his head towards George’s car.

“Yup,” I nodded.

“Alright,” George cleared his throat and turned, his hand went to the back of my headrest, as I turned to face him. “We’re doing this,” He nodded. "We're doing this." He repeated without a second thought, he leaned in, his lips touching mine. His other hand ran up and grabbed my face, holding me in place. His tongue traced my bottom lip urging mine to open when I did our tongues touched. He pulled away lips going to my neck. “Y/N.” I grabbed onto his face and pulled him back up, reattaching our lips again. My hands left his face and went to his shirt, lifting it up as he pulled me over the console and onto his lap. I grabbed his shirt and lifted it up and over his head throwing it in the back seat. My lips went to his neck as he grabbed onto the handle for the seat, letting it fall backwards so we had more room. “Y/N, we need to stop.” George grabbed my face holding it gently. “Believe me, I’m a guy, and I don’t want to, but if we don't…” I nodded my head, opening the door and slipping out. I straightened my clothes and watched as George got out and pulled a shirt on.

“Y/N,” Her voice called across the car park, “Is that you?” I looked at George as Sarah called out to us, “Y/N Y/L/N,"

"George,” I groaned, “Can’t we do a drive-through order?"

"Not after than show,” He chuckled, fixing his shirt. “C'mon, we’ll just ignore her.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the doors. Sarah and Julian watched us as we neared them.

“So you two are a thing, huh?” Julian’s voice called as we passed. “Enjoy the slutty sloppy seconds MacKay,” My feet stilled, George’s hand squeezed mine.

“No, You know what,” I growled turning around. I stalked up to Julian and slapped him across the face, “How dare you,” I screamed. “You fucked this up Julian, you cheated on me with her,” I hissed at Sarah who’d slunk back. “So don’t think you can go around, accusing me of being a slut,” My eyes turned to slits. “You didn’t fuck me, and I’m sure if you did I wouldn’t have been able to feel it,"

"Fuck,” I heard George whisper under his breath.

“So next time you try and accuse me of being a slut because I’ve moved on, have a look back and think why that’s happened, you small cock fuck,” I turned on my heel and walked back to George,

“Y/N Y/L/N, I may just be in love with you,"

[cc-tinslebee]

Ya boy is back with some more commentary that absolutely no one asked for. D2: The Mighty Ducks edition.

Charlie:

The way that Gordon didn’t really keep in touch much while playing for the Waves and Charlie still readily welcomed him back, I— Charlie is not as easy in D3 and during GC-era

The round up scene!!! I love these chaotic idiots so much

Guy, my poor boy- mans just wanted to kiss his girlfriend, is that too much to ask-

Adam’s so happy to see his friends-

Fulton, the protective duck brother, at it again!!

I love the new additions’ dynamic- Luis falls, and they’re all like, “you’re doing great, sweetie”

Kenny!! (I have nothing more to say, I just think he’s neat)

Still losing it over Adam’s “oh shit, boyfriend down” when Portman knocks Charlie over

Bro, why are Dwayne and Adam arguing?? These sweet boys did nothing wrong

Speaking of which, Dwayne’s such a sweetheart-

The way that Dean and Fulton were basically enemies to friends to lovers speed run edition

Unstoppable force versus immovable object, or as I like to call them: Adam and Julie. (/pos)

GUY? FULTON? JESSE?? These three are so chaotic, I can’t believe they broke the rink

The Dwayne-practice scene is so cute- like, Guy easily evading him!! the little dance!! *chef’s kiss*

Charlie’s stubbornness kicks in /pos

Miss MacKay straight up killing it with the American being a teenager line

Me at Adam:

I absolutely adore the scenes where Russ is harassing the Ducks, and then he sees Gordon and he’s like “alright, imma head out”

Charlie has a spidey sense for Adam feeling anxious and I love that for them- “Oh shit, boyfriend in distress”

You heard it right here, folks, Julie, Kenny, and Connie are underrated legends. They were so good!!

Not Goldberg being a bad influence on Kenny and Luis- NOT LUIS STEALING DWAYNE’S HAT

[doing the math in my head] so Connie and Julie probably got their own room, Fulton and Dean got their own, so what’s the ratio here from private dorms to communal ones-

THE REF AT THE ITALY GAME CLIMBING UP THE WALL

No thoughts only Charlie and Guy excitedly tapping each other at the Italy win

“You think there are enough kids out there that wanna coach…?”

Jesse, Goldberg, and Averman. Now there’s a chaotic trio. (Bro, just tell them you’re team USA, they’ll let you in)

You know what, I’m gonna die mad about how Julie only got the chance to be the amazing goalie she is when she was at Eden Hall under Orion >:(

The way Fulton’s the embodiment of “looks like he could kill you, is a cinnamon roll”

Averman’s commentary, I missed you so

The announcer/subtitles called Adam the captain??

Dean has ✨anger issues✨

No, no, but the TMD fandom editors have a point about Charlie and Adam looking at each other when Gordon has them in he huddle during the Iceland game. They was definitely A Look there

GET THEIR ASSES, JULIE

[Dean having an angry moment]

Julie, deadpanning: I know how you feel

No, no, no, but it’s the way Charlie, Guy, and Connie all went after the guy who hurt Adam and then IMMEDIATELY went to see if he was okay. Real boyfriend and best friend shit there.

Gibble 🤝 Ducksworth: what the fuck man

Get his ass!! Miss MacKay understands the value of kids having rest!!

I love the outside-workout scene 1. Because Adam said women’s rights by defending Julie and Charlie said Adam Banks rights by going after Portman, and 2. Jesse and Russ’s antagonistic dynamic kills me every time/pos

The Tylers my beloved!!

“Whoa, not again!” “Use the breaks, baby!”

The Tylers’ friends and neighbours are so nice what the heck

We gotta give credit where credit is due. Russ’s brother is the reason that Kenny became a Bash bro

Damn, it’s always either an older, wiser figure or a kid knocking some sense into Gordon, huh. (Jan/Hans, Charlie, Logan. Love that for them.)

Adam, when they’re told they have to forfeit without a coach: You can’t do that!

Charlie, rolling up his sleeves: I guess I have to do everything myself-

I love how Charlie’s coaching Miss MacKay when she’s supposed to be their stand-in coach-

The new additions, hearing the duck call:

Gordon, stop hitting on every lady your age challenge

The fire barrel scene, babeyy

Okay, but Vincent LaRusso legitimately did so well in the wrist confrontation scene,,, you can really see him tear up while Gordon’s insisting that he won’t let him play with his injured wrist,,, (anyway, this is me saying I’m still mad about the writers giving Adam a good arc in D2 only to sideline him in D3. He deserved to have a small hurt/comfort arc about being separated from the Ducks and forced into a clique that didn’t care about him.)

Charlie scouting Russ!! A real one!!

“Yes, he can skate”

[screaming in the distance]

“Or was it that old geezer over there?”

Adam, Charlie, and Ken: oh no he didn’t

I wonder if the Ducks teased Julie relentlessly for dating Scooter when he literally looks exactly like Gunnar Stahl, whose shot she intercepts at the end

It’s genuinely a bit amusing how Adam’s either in the far back of the group or two (2) inches away from Charlie at all times

The “he can have my spot” scene always gets me. The selflessness,,, Adam’s tender little touch,,, *chef’s kiss*

Ken and Dwayne having to hold Goldberg back-

No thoughts, only the Ducks losing it when Adam gets hit again. They are straight-up livid. (Kenny chastising the guy who hit him and Charlie patting Adam when he goes back to the bench 🥺)

Okay, but hear me out: that Goldberg and Luis dynamic

Kenny: does The Move Russ’s brother taught him

The Ducks: :0

Tyler and the bash bros: >:D

We love the Connie and Dwayne friendship in this house

Guy and Connie's double team shot and Charlie’s play letting Adam and Dwayne shine 😌

I’m gonna say it!! Julie, Jesse, Guy, Dwayne, and Fulton all deserved to have those last positions!!

✨Adam looking to Charlie and Bombay for support before his shot✨

Yeah, I’m never gonna get over how Adam and Charlie just collide with each other at their win /pos

Holy shit, Gunnar’s so tall compared to Charlie, I—

Adam giving Charlie the flag, Adam giving Charlie the flag, Adam giving Charlie the flag

The We are the Champions scene is so chaotic and I love it so much (Charlie and Goldberg dealing with the on-fire marshmallow, Adam and Jesse just being SO extra, Connie just chilling with Julie and Guy)

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

SEPTEMBER PICKS

I don’t know about you, but this felt like a long month. I just looked back on my August post and that felt like another life. Putting together this list I couldn’t believe how much I was able to watch with the start of the semester. There was a lot of great ones, so let’s get to it!

Our usual spoiler warning....

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The Umbrella Academy

Umbrella Academy was a show that I started at the end of August. Many people I know were shocked I had never watched it and honestly I don’t know what took me so long. It was great and made even better by the second season getting released this summer. Now I had even more episodes to watch. 

I love how chaotic the Hargreeves are. The things that happen to them would only happen to them (if you know what I mean). I also love how they always put family first. Despite everything that’s happened to them. They might all be a mess (and honestly who isn’t), but deep down they love each other. For the first season I thought it was great how they formatted the plot. These characters were new to us and they didn’t give us all the backstory. (When you think about it we still don’t know how Ben died.) It made me continue tuning in and figure it all out. I always sensed Vanya had powers and I know it’s shocking that I wasn’t spoiled coming into the show so late. I liked the irony of the family essentially creating the apocalypse themselves by locking Vanya up.  Leonard aka Harold always felt shifty to me. I also liked the way they set up his story. Five and Klaus are definitely my favorites of the siblings. I love how Five is such an old man in a young kid’s body. The way they show his teleportation is really cool. The early scene in Run boy run, episode 2, is definitely one of my favorites from the whole show. The images paired with the song are chilling. Really nice job there. I love how Klaus’ power has been explored. We see more of it in season 2 and it’s something I wasn’t expecting. I love his and Ben’s relationship and I easily fell into the Klaus/Dave ship. We only got a slice of their backstory and I was already too invested. Season 2 took me a little bit to get into with the new setting, but after about two episodes I did. I really liked the plot and found it funny that there was yet another apocalypse. With that cliffhanger, I can’t wait to see where season three is headed.

Derry Girls Re-watch 

2020 felt like a good time to re-visit my girls in Derry. I wanted something familiar and funny and this was perfect. I just love this show. It makes me so happy after watching it. I’m so thrilled that we’ll eventually get a third season (even if it will be the last). This watch through I am noticing how many songs are in each episode. (Might help I’ve been watching it with subtitles.) There are so many bops. Sister Michael is always my spirit animal. She is hilarious! I also feel Gerry gets funnier as the season goes on. When he’s making the sandwiches at the funeral I crack up EVERY.TIME. I also love the seriousness of the show too. There are SO MANY great parallels. In the season one finale when the historical bomb goes off and the girls are shown at school unaware and just dancing with Orla it is so pure. Then we see Da put his hand on Gerry’s shoulder. Wow. It shows how the generations were affected. I will suggest this show to everyone no matter what they like to watch. IT IS THAT GOOD! So, why aren’t you watching it? (Or Re-watching?)  

Violetta Season 3

We can all rejoice! The third and finale season of Disney’s Violetta was released onto Disney Plus mid month. As someone who recently finished the second season, it was no surprise that I was ecstatic and wanted to watch it ASAP. This season is hands down the fastest one I have gotten invested into. Usually it takes me a bit to get into the new plot and characters. Because I’ve gotten so attached, I’m worried that means it will go downhill. I’ve heard mixed things about season 3. But let’s focus on the positives! There is so much music so far (both old and new songs). I am loving a lot of the new songs: En Gira and Armor En El Aire. I like how they started on tour and how they included actual footage from the real tour. Now they are in their last year in the studio (so I guess Seniors?). Lots of changes are already occurring including people leaving the Studio. Some are headed to Gregorio’s Art Rebel. I have to say that Gregorio has grown on me so much and now he is one of my favorite characters. I love his relationship with Diego and every time they call each other Papa and son. OMG it’s fantastic! So great to see them happy. This season we have a new teacher, Milton and I honestly can’t figure out what his deal is. Why is he so mean? I’m in episode 18 now and I am happy Leon and Vilu are still going strong. Obviously, they’re going to have issues (and they’ve already had minor ones), but it’s good to still see them in love. (It is adorable how they call each other Amor.) I also like that their “love triangles” seem to be misunderstandings right now. I’m in the VERY early stages of Fran and Diego and honestly I am so in love with them already. I’m going to fall hard for this ship. I know it. I am so tempted to continue watching spoilers, but I feel they’re not true spoilers if I can only find them in Spanish with no subtitles. ;) 

Sunshine on Leith

My journey through watching George Mackay films continued with Sunshine on Leith. This was a great choice and I highly recommend. The main difficulty is how to access it. I couldn’t find it fully anywhere online or through a streaming service, so I wound up purchasing it through Amazon and getting it as a UK DVD. This means you need a Multi-region DVD player to watch it. (I know. It’s weird that not all DVDs are the same.) Of course, I have one of these. I am a TV/Movie junky and love a lot of British programs that are unavailable to purchase in the US. I got it a few years ago also on Amazon and it was pretty cheap. I haven’t had any issues with it, so I highly recommend. 

The movie musical includes songs from the Proclaimers and takes place in Edinburgh. As someone who got to visit Edinburgh it was so cool to see the characters in places I’ve actually been. Before watching the film, the only Proclaimers song I knew was (of course) 500 miles. While watching I realized I actually new more and those I didn’t know I really liked. So, now I have a new playlist on my phone. Some are the original songs and others are from the movie (because I prefer their voices on some). What was cool to see was how not all the actors had the strongest voices, but could sing really well. I’m not sure if this was a purposeful choice or not. (I’d have to look more into it.) At times the plot felt a little rushed. Overall it was a fairly short musical, so that was probably why. Characters seemed to know each other really well really fast. So, if a lot of time would have passed I didn’t notice it. I can’t wait to re-watch the film. George Mackay in the cast brought me to watch it, but I stayed for a great story. (And of course I fell more in love with my crush on Mackay...No shock there :) 

I Am Not Okay With This

Netflix’s I Am Not Okay With This had been in my queue since the beginning of this year, but I didn’t get the chance to watch it till now....when I heard it got cancelled. [Netflix hit us with this news about a month back when they released that shows that were originally picked up were now getting dropped for a second season. I Am Not Okay With This and The Society were on the chopping block.] To make the comment everyone else already has, I am Not Okay With This. 

Despite knowing the show got cancelled, I still wanted to watch it. As I was watching Derry Girls, I wanted another show that was contemporary. I was very surprised to see how few episodes there were as well as how short they each were. It was a very quick watch because of this. While I expected this show to be contemporary with a touch of the supernatural, as Syd has powers, I was not expecting it to be so much more! This show blends so many genres and it does it so well. I honestly don’t know if I’ve seen it done before...at all. Which makes it hard to compare to some others. It feels like an Indy/Contemporary Coming of Age with both supernatural and thriller vibes. It even touches into horror-ish towards the end of the season. If only there was another season to see where it would go. And that ENDING! Is it bad I laughed? I think I did because I was not expecting it to go down like that AT ALL. Syd was a very dynamic main character and I really like how they had her explore who she truly is. Her and Stan’s friendship is one that I strive for. (Speaking of, where can I get a Stanley Barber? I need one in my life.)If you’re willing to be upset that the show got cancelled and there is no second season in the works, then I definitely suggest you just out I Am Not Okay With This. 

Enola Holmes

Man, I feel like I’m giving a lot of support to Netflix this month, but there was a lot coming out/ a lot in my queue so it makes sense. Overall, I would give Enola a 7/10. I had a lot of hype for this one (as it was one of my highly anticipated watches for September), which I think hurt my overall reaction. This doesn’t mean it wasn’t entertaining and enjoyable. I loved the female empowerment message as it was very strong. Millie Bobby Brown was fantastic and so charismatic as Enola. I loved the feature of her talking to us as well as giving some really great facial expressions. I am a sucker for a retelling (of any kind, but especially Sherlock Holmes), so I loved the concept and how they included a younger sister to the Holmes family. I know there has been some conversation about how Sherlock was portrayed and that’s not really Sherlock, but I had no problem with this (and I’m not just saying that because he was played by the dashing Henry Cavill). Honestly, Mycroft’s character bothered me more. I get that there had to be a “villainous” character (well other than the one in the mystery), but he felt a little too over the top. The movie felt a little too long at times and I still don’t like the reason for why her mother left and the conclusion to that plot. It did set it up as if there could be a sequel and I would definitely watch it. 

I would also like to add that I cannot get enough of the cast. Thanks to the YouTube interviews Netflix keeps uploading, I am falling more and more in love with this trio. They just seem like so much fun and I would love to be a part of this cast. They feel like siblings! 

Harriet

Another one in my watch-list for September can be checked off! Harriet has been a film that I have been wanting to watch since it came to theaters last year, but I felt like it came and went pretty fast. Luckily HBO just released it in the past month or so, which made me to tape it. I am so happy I did. 

WOW! Why didn’t I know about these facts about Harriet Tubman sooner? Why aren’t we taught these parts of history in school? I already knew she was amazing, and this just put her over the top. She did SO MUCH! It’s super impressive that she was a part of the Civil War and fought. Not only was this something difficult to do as a Black person, but also as a woman. I didn’t know about her visions, so that was something I Googled right when the film was finished. She never lost a freed slave in their journey to freedom. The list goes on and on how amazing Harriet Tubman was. This film showcases that so well and Cynthia Erivo is amazing as Harriet. (I have to start finding synonyms for ‘amazing’.) Her voice...WOW! Before watching the film, I have loved listening to “Stand Up,” but now afterwards it takes on a whole new meaning. Especially when you understand the direct quote from Harriet Tubman: “I go to prepare a place for you.” CHILLS! This film was nominated for multiple Academy Awards and it should have gotten one. WATCH HARRIET!

The Crimson Field

I’ve noticed that most of the programs I watch through Amazon Prime Video are mainly period dramas. So it was no shock that I would tune into The Crimson Field, a 7 episode series following the nurses and surgeons in France during WWI. As someone who is often more drawn to WWII, I am finding myself interested to watch more things involving the first World War (ie: 1917 and Tolkien). And this show was just what I needed. The pressure was on to watch it though, as it was only available through Prime Video till September 30th. Luckily with only 7 episodes this was an easy feat to accomplish, plus the first couple I marathoned because it was so good. As with any show it took a little bit to understand the setting and the cast, but I feel like I got to know them rather quickly, which made me invested to know what would happen next. I did find it strange that Prime Video only had access to the show for a month as it originally aired on BBC one and then PBS in 2015. The streaming service has programs older than that readily available to watch any time. 

The beginning of the series was definitely stronger in my opinion. I like how they gave breadcrumbs into people’s backstories, such as the main character Kitty. There was a lot of mystery there when we first learned she had a kid and then of her scandalous marriage. There are still a few things that I don’t 100% understand, but that might be because they thought they were getting a season 2 (but they did not). And with the way they ended the show it definitely had the feel. I enjoyed Kitty and Tom’s romance, but more at the beginning than at the end. With Tom’s character, I feel like they set him up as the super nice guy while Miles was the player, but then as the show progressed they decided Tom should have more Mr. Darcy traits and I just thought that was out of his character. Either way, I did still like him (and Miles) and could listen to Richard Rankin’s Scottish accent ALL DAY! It wasn’t until I looked up his IMDB that I made the connection that he is on Outlander now. Can you see the resemblance to him now? 

   Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe

And don’t we all just feel against the universe sometimes?

I know my range for this month is all over the place, so is it that shocking that I would add a cartoon to the mix. Definitely not...especially because it’s Phineas and Ferb. One of my favorite Disney Channel shows. Watching this film feels like FOREVER ago because it was so early in the month. I’ve only watched it the one time (because I don’t think it needs a second watch...I guess that tells you something), so let’s see how much I remember...

It’s been a while since we’ve had a new installment of Phineas and Ferb grace our screens and it was great to see the citizens of Danville once again. In a way, it felt like no time had passed. (And for them I guess it hadn’t because it always seems like the same summer.) It just felt like the moment for Phineas and Ferb. While I was really happy to see our beloved characters again, the plot of this film felt familiar. Very Queen of Mars. Now thinking back, it’s hard for me to relay what happens and I think that’s a good way to describe this movie. It was very familiar, and I wish they would have done more with it. I can’t even remember any of the songs (and that’s often my favorite part). Of course, it had all the classics antics and jokes. I love how Perry was helping out the kids and had to be very secretive about it. I always love a good Candace and Venessa team up. Dr. Doof was hilarious as usual and his pairing with the kids (specifically Isabella) was a great time. My favorite part was when they got meta and did the reverse engineering of their animation and then we saw the creators in front of the story boards. That was really cool and unexpected. Overall, it felt like Phineas and Ferb and made life in quarantine a little bit easier. 

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Well! That’s a wrap. These were some of my favorite picks to talk about (even if it took me longer than usual). I hope you watched some great stuff last month and continue to find new picks for October! 

[ditch-witches]

Vienna (George MacKay Smut)

all my love to @iongaa​ for her beautiful creation that is literally the cherry on top of our work, go show her some appreciation.

requested: yes/no (This is a need in light of not being able to travel, I guess. Everyone say “thank you hannah” for this absolute money shot.)

pairing: George MacKay x reader

warnings: smut, mile high club shit (i hope you packed your rubber ducky too)

word count: 2,021

a/n: Hannah a fweak y'all.

Your apartment was in complete shambles. Clothes were thrown all over the kitchen table, the desk, even your living room was a mess of clothes. Your bedroom floor was a complete hazardous waste zone of even more undesirable outfit plans to Vienna. You were in the middle of running back and forth to the bathroom gathering your toiletries---always managing to forget exactly what you walked in for to begin with---when you felt your phone vibrate. Looking down at the new message popping-up on your overly girlfriendy background of you and George.

George: Don’t forget to bring my favorite yellow swimsuit ;)

How could you forget the only good piece of clothing you seemed to own nowadays? He was going to be there any minute and you were currently attempting to use the trick of sitting on your suitcase to get it to close. You heard him before you saw him. His heavy footsteps approaching your bedroom quickly.

“Hey, ready for our fun weekend getaway,” he spoke sarcastically, beginning to peer around the door frame. “Good God, love, you know this is a weekend trip, not a six-month heist.”

“I know. I just need to be super prepared, you know me.”

He smiled lightly as he sat down with you to close the suitcase. His help allowed you to finish zipping it up. He stood and reached for your hand to help you up.

“Ready, darling?”

“I think so.” You both walked out of the apartment, locking the door behind you. You had never been to Vienna, but you were more than excited to experience it with George. He made everything fun and romantic without even meaning to. That was the thing you loved about him the most, the ability to be completely yourself all the time with him.

The plane ride was complete agony. The excitement of being alone with George on vacation was almost too much to bear, but your boredom from sitting was beginning to get the better of you.

“I’m so bored,” you leaned into George and whispered.

“Well as an active member of the mile high club I am sworn to be your entertainment for the remainder of this flight," he jeered.

“Is that so?” You whispered back, making sure to place your hand on his thigh.

“'Tis true,” he mimicked your volume, placing his hand on your thigh, mocking your actions. “Here’s the plan,” his breath tickling your ear and sending shivers down your spine. “You’re gonna go to the back and I’ll be there in two minutes,” his hand rubbing your thigh as he spoke rather evenly. You went to stand, but he grabbed your wrists and pulled you back with a cheeky grin. “Don’t make it too obvious.”

You knew he was talking about your flushed face. You slid out into the aisle and walked as calmly as possible. You knew George could smooth talk, but he had never managed to talk his way into your pants this fast before. You waited for the two swift knocks at the door before opening the door and allowing for him to slide in beside you.

“Miss me,” he leered as he leaned in towards your lips.

“When you said entertainment I didn’t think you meant Dumbo,” you joked, reaching up to flick his ear.

“Oh, you want to play it that way,” he whispered darkly, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head. He leaned in, littering kisses everywhere, but your lips.

“George…” you sighed. His ocean blue eyes peered up at you. Seeing your hunger for him written all over your face.

“Tell me what you need, sweetheart,” he whispered back, lightly wrapping his hand around your throat. Making it almost impossible to think of words when all you could focus on was his hand wrapped around your throat. “Words darling. Use your words,” he breathed into your ear.

“How...does...one...become a member of your club?” You gasped.

“Well,” he breathed heavily against your cheek. “You would need to be…” he began, spinning you around so that your ass was firmly pressed up against his jeans and leaned forward, his face hovering beside yours. “... inducted by a member and hold a proper ID,” he breathed, pulling your hair back and snapping a picture of your flushed face.

You could feel your body becoming weak with anticipation. He began tugging at your waistband, pulling you closer and allowing you to grind against him slowly causing a light moan to escape deep within his throat. His grip around your neck tightened as your pace quickened. His fingers sliding into your waistband, slowly pulling your sweats down your legs, leaving you just in your panties. His hand grabbed your ass roughly, tempting you to ask for him to spank you when over the intercom the pilot announced that all passengers needed to return to their seats. Sighing loudly you spun back around to face him. “I guess we will have to finish this a little later,” he winked.

“Why does everyone have to ruin a fun time,” you pouted.

“Oh darling, if you thought that was fun…. wait 'til we get to the hotel,” he whispered, kissing your forehead. He reached for your hand to lead you back to your seats. Even after what had just happened, George managed to look completely composed compared to you, your hair splayed everywhere, your face bright red. He loved it though. “You’re so hot when you're deprived,” he said, kissing you lightly and resting his hand on your thigh for the remainder of the flight.

Saying your hotel room was huge was an understatement. There was a king-sized bed, a balcony with a view, and a huge bathtub. You were standing in the doorway to the bathroom soaking in its luxury when you felt George’s hands wrap around your waist. Leaning back on him, he lowered his head to your shoulder. “What’s on your mind, love,” he questioned softly.

“Just admiring,” you replied.

“You know what I admire?” He spoke softly, his hands slowly dropping towards your ass. “You, naked.” He spun you around to face him, slowly bringing his hands up to your face to cradle it as he kissed you sweetly. He broke away slowly and walked swiftly to the white soaking tub and turned the knobs beginning to fill it with warm water. You leaned against the door frame again, staring at him in admiration. “What are you looking at?” He quizzed smoothly.

“Just you,” you replied slowly.

“Is that so? Well, darling, what do you think about finishing what we started?”

Your knees felt weak with that statement, but you pushed through and walked towards him. He met you halfway and you put your hands on his chest. “I would love nothing more.” You looked up at him waiting for his next move. You saw a smile spread across his lips.

“I don’t think you’ll be needing this,” he whispered, reaching down to the hem of your shirt and slowly pulling it off of you. “Your tits are beautiful,” he mumbled as he leaned to lick your nipples. His hand cupped your breast forcefully, groaning against your body as he slowly walked you back to the wall. You draped your arms around his shoulders as his hands roamed your body, coming to a stop just below your upper thigh to lift you off the ground. Your legs wrapped around his hips while one hand found its way up his neck and into his hair. His lips made their way from yours to place a series of lingering kisses on your neck and collarbone, eliciting a moan to escape your lips. He paused at the sound, a cheeky grin creeping across his face. “Finally” he breathed, the vibration from his voice tickling your skin.

You rolled your eyes at his remark, crashing your lips onto his. He pulled back roughly. “You know what happens when you roll your eyes at me, sweetheart.” He set you down gently, bringing his hands up to your throat. “You know I don’t like it when you mock me,” he growled, spinning you around harshly to forcefully press you against the wall. “You’ll pay for that,” he groaned. A moan forcefully makes its way to your lips.

He pulls down your sweats quickly bringing your panties with them, allowing him finally to smack your bare ass roughly. “That is for disrespecting me,” he said darkly. His hands roughly found the front of your hips, sliding down your mound, teasing your heat. He grunted, picking you up forcefully and bringing you to the filled bathtub. He placed you in the warm soapy water gently. He towered over you in the tub. His blue eyes never break contact with yours as he quickly undressed and climbed in with you. Thoughts of what such a man could do to you right now were flying through your brain. He reached for you and pulled you on top of him.

“What’s next,” you questioned. Running your hands down his torso towards his erect member. Slowly wrapping your hand around it, causing George's eyes to close. You slowly pumped him, causing his hands to fly to your hips. You began kissing his neck sucking softly in some places. “What do you want?” You whispered to him. He grumbled lowly, pulling you to your knees as he lowered himself lower into the tub. You took the hint. Grabbing onto his shoulders to lower yourself on to him.

“How did I get so lucky?” He muttered as he flowered kisses on your collarbones. He gripped your hips harder, lining you up, and helping you lower yourself on to him. You could feel the pressure of him beginning to fill you up and moaned as he slammed you the rest of the way on to him. “Oh fuck,” you cried, adjusting to him inside.

“Too much, sweetheart?” He asked darkly, helping you establish a pace.

“No, I love it,” you moaned, your hands pressed firmly to his chest to steady yourself. Bringing yourself to the pace he had guided you to, you could feel his veins popping. You knew the tease from earlier was going to make this quicker than you wanted it to be. He gripped your ass hard letting a dark moan escape his parted lips. His eyes locked on yours as your face contorted with pleasure. The water splashed against the both of you in waves as you were both reaching your ending way too soon.

“Don’t stop,” he encouraged you as your grip on his shoulders became firmer. You could feel your heat building. Your core tightened as you cried out in pleasure. You were so close to your high and you could feel he was too.

“Not so fast,” he muttered as he grabbed your hips and spun so you were now on the bottom. He pressed into you hard making you squirm. He quickened his pace to an almost unbearable speed.

“Fuck me, George,” you screamed out. The water muffling your cries only slightly. He slammed into you, wrapping one hand firmly around your throat. He squeezed harder as his high came quickly. He had you at the perfect position to continuously hit your sensitive spot making your pleasure come dangerously fast. He squeezed your throat so hard as you both screamed out your highs, riding them out in tandem.

“Am I part of your club now?” you breathlessly asked.

“Sweetheart, you wish, but that includes what I’ll be doing to you on the way home,” he winked at you, standing to grab a towel for the both of you and reaching his hand out to help you out. He slowly bent down to sweep your wrapped body up into his arms and carry you to bed.

“I’m so glad you’re mine,” he whispers as he placed a kiss on your forehead, pulling the blankets over your half-asleep body. He climbed in next to you, wrapping his arm around your torso, allowing you to drift off to dreams that would never measure up to the man you had sleeping next to you.

[georgemackayhey]

Silver Lining: Chapter 1

In which you and George decide to make the most of life after meeting up at the wrong place at just the right time...

a/n: Yay, my first multi-chapter fic! I'm still working on requests, never fear, but I couldn't wait to put this out there. I guess I could start a taglist, if ya’ll want to keep up with this absolutely wild ride! ♡

w/c: 3k

Next Chapter >

───※ ·❆· ※───

You sat in the passenger seat of your finances big fancy car, staring at your phone screen. You were speeding down the freeway, away from the church where you'd just breezed through your wedding rehearsal. The big day was less than twenty-four hours away now, and your wedding planner had just emailed you to assure everything you'd been organizing for over a year had fallen into place.

You had the perfect a-line lace covered wedding dress. You had the perfect church for the ceremony and a lush garden venue to hold the reception. You still had your own apartment, and a house in the city to move into after the wedding and honeymoon. And you had Colin, the perfect brown-eyed finance with a wicked sense of humor and an overload of charm.

You held his arm and breezed through a chic restaurant where a collection of your extended family members had been waiting among a linen-covered table. You sat on the end, next to your mother, across from Colin and his parents.

Your father smiled your way and immediately gushed to you about how excited he was for tomorrow. You sighed, taking a swig of champagne and reached across the way for Colin's hand. You were very excited to marry him, but were feeling a bit frazzled after finalizing all your plans. Everything was in place to go perfectly, but a continuing worry kept gnawing at your insides, warning you that something was bound to go wrong because, with Colin, nothing was ever as perfect as it seemed.

Your fiance flashed you a toothy grin before turning a glance to his other family members down the table. The restaurant was full of folks in semi-formal dress, careful not to scrape their forks against fine china plates. And the table you occupied was full of your dearest family members, most of them for far out of town.

Your collective families chattered about the wedding and drifted into a conversation about some of their own bridesmaid tall tales. Colin's hand abandoned yours to sip his wine while his mother laughed through a story about your fiance as a child. His father gave a grand toast, cheering to your big day.

Just as you started to take sips of champagne, a young girl who wasn't your waitress appeared at the head of the table, boring her eyes into yours.

She looked as if she had just seen a ghost, and you were about to ask if she was alright, long before wondering why she was hovering just above you. But you watched as the pretty young girl turned her eyes from your face to the ring on your finger and finally, to your fiance who sat opposite you. As her glance grew more and more horrified, you felt a pit open in your stomach.

"Colin?" The young girl asked in a hushed quake. Your boyfriend of three years and fiance of one went just as pale as the girl hovering between you two. Oh shit, you thought. You weren't sure what was going to happen next, but, somehow, you knew exactly what was happening now.

"You're getting married, I see?" The girl tried to smile, but the turn of her lip only resulted in her eyes going glossy. You couldn't be sure if the rest of your table had zeroed in on what was happening. All you understood right now, was that everything had taken a very sharp left turn.

"Chloe, don't do this. Not here." Colin dared to gaze up at the petrified girl and hiss through his teeth. Colin barely had time to finish his warning before the girl you now knew as Chloe picked up the glass of wine Colin had been nursing and splashed the deep red drink in his face.

You definitely registered your dinner parties gasps of shock then; as Chloe turned her teary eyes toward you before she ran away with a shaky hand over her mouth. You watched Chloe run toward the front doors as a man in a dark sweater walked briskly after her.

Innocent onlookers then dropped their dinner forks and watched on as absolute disarray ensued. You kicked your chair out from under you, as the rest of the world crumbled at your feet.

"What have you got to say for yourself?" You stalled, fuming in place as Colin wiped wine from his eyes. And when he was able, he still couldn't manage to look at you.

With that, you decided that you needed to follow that girl. As you left Colin in a wine-soaked heap, your mother hurried to your side, as the rest of your family erupted into shouts, mostly aimed at the man who was supposed to marry you tomorrow. Your mother raced after you, her heels clicking in the marble entryway as you hurried out of the fancy place to find the young girl in a summer dress shouting at the man who dashed after her.

You stalled on the steps of the restaurant, as your story unfolded. The man in the dark sweater shouting with Chole, you knew him. That sturdy build, those blue eyes that glimmered like neon from a distance during dusk. He was even prettier in person somehow, George... George, oh, what was his last name? Until now, you'd only ever seen his face on the telly. It was impossible not to recognize him as one of the most popular up and coming actors, with the way the morning news and red carpet interviews gushed over the guy.

Then you started to put the pieces together. Chloe must have been his girlfriend. She kept saying "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" And he kept asking "All this time?" That's when a new fire was lit under your feet, as you walked over toward their fight. This was, somehow, your fight too.

Chloe saw you coming. Her eyes got wide and she stiffened up as she turned to move. But she knew better than to run.

"I'm- I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that in front of all those people. But- he never told me, we didn't-" The girl cried, closing in on her self as you stomped up to stand a few feet away.

"Actually, I'm glad you did! Now I don't have to waste a fortune on a cheater." You spat, truthfully. Anger flooded your system as you noticed her boyfriend drag his hands across his face as he spun around to sit against the sandy brick of the restaurant. George... That's it, Mackay!

"I'm so sorry," Chloe whined. "Colin and I-"

"I don't want to hear it. Just tell me how long. I just need to know how long." Your fists were curled at your side and the chilly night air wasn't a bother as smoke practically billowed from your ears.

Chole's eyes filled with tears and a frown pulled at her lips as you waited for your answer.

"How fucking long, Chloe?" George shouted from the ground just near you. Your heads turned in his direction and you noticed his eyes were still beautiful when they were shooting a look that could kill toward the girl who'd freshly broken his heart.

"Two... two years."

Two years was exactly half the time you'd been with Colin. Of course, that's where he'd been off to on all those late nights when you knew where all his alibis actually were. Two years was longer than you'd even been engaged. She was around before he gave you a ring, and she was still around the night before your wedding day. Maybe they'd still be together after all your plans were canceled and you were living in debt.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time." Chloe whimpered toward George as she turned to scurry deeper into the car park and away from the mess she'd started. Her now ex-boyfriend was sitting with his ankles crossed and his head lulled back against the building.

"Christ, I'm sorry." The man sighed, stressing each word as if he had anything to do with this. Well maybe he had a very small role in this grand scheme, but he was kind of in the same position as you.

"Me too." You shrugged, moving closer his way. Without much thought, you sat down next to him, an arms-length away.

"I should have seen it coming." George gave an exhausted laugh, opening his eyes toward the sky. "I knew she never felt the same as I did. I just kept pretending." The guy was opening up to you, for some reason.

"That's your job, isn't it? To act?" You very softly prodded. It would be weird if you kept on knowing exactly who he was without saying so. George turned those stunning blue eyes toward yours for the first time and gave you a sorry smile, followed by a nod of agreeance.

"Forgive my complaints, I can't imagine..." George raised a brow as his eyes traveled down your frame and landed on the engagement ring you wore.

"Oh, this old thing?" You glanced down, and then back up to him with a wry grin. "I'll tell you a secret, I never really liked it very much." You stage whispered to the man across from you who proceeded to actually chuckle in response.

Colin picked out the ring. He gave it to you right in the middle in the shop he'd collected it from, making a grand show of how expensive the thing was while a jeweler fitted it for your finger. It was expensive, and it was beautiful, but the diamonds didn't bring a sparkle to your eye. You'd always fancied something a bit simpler, more meaningful. Colin must not have ever really cared for you much, you realized.

It was then that you noticed a pissed off looking host escorting Colin out of the restaurant. The white button-up under his suit jacket was stained with wine, and he was nervously rubbing his hands together when he noticed you and George sitting together by a couple of well-groomed bushes. Your ex-fiance took a few timid steps toward you and started to open his mouth, but you weren't about to have any of it. You stood and stomped to right up to him,  stopping Colin in his tracks.

"Here," You began, ripping the thousand dollar engagement ring from your finger.

"Take this, for your troubles. You'll need the money back after you pay for all the shit I have to call and cancel tomorrow. I'll give them your name." You flung your wrist toward Colin, and the ring landed on the pavement at his feet. He glared at you in your furry, and that pissed you off even further.

"Pick it up, get in your car and stay the hell away from me." You were fuming, but as you watched Colin bend over and pick up the ring he proposed to you with, a sense of pride washed over you. His jaw clenched as he shot you a look before turning to find his car in the lot.

You let out a breath before turning back to find the actor had been watching you. You looked at each other for one stunned moment before breaking out into a weird, shared bout of laughter. Because of it, you felt yourself floating back to the wall George remained sitting against.

As he looked up to you, opening his mouth to speak, the host who'd escorted Colin out of the restaurant sheepishly approached you.

"Ma'am," He rose a sorry brow. "Your guests have all left and we're sorry to ask, but their checks still need taken care of. "

"I understand." You sighed, nodding to follow the host inside. You noticed the actor scramble to his feet as you started to walk away.

"We've waived your dinner fees, and half of the orders that hadn't yet been made." The host explained over his shoulder as you passed back into the expensive restaurant.

"Well, that's very kind, thank you." You said, walking toward the podium where he worked. As the host scurried behind the stand, an older woman who appeared to be the manager shuffled to join him. She shot you a sorry smile and thanked you for being understanding, before chattering with the host about the check.

"Can I help?" A voice rang from behind you. George was there, giving you a look like a sad puppy who'd been left too long on its own. He went on...

"I feel as though I have to make this up to you somehow. I can help pay." George's eyes grew wide, running a hand through his tousled hair.

"Your generosity is appreciated, but it's really fine, I swear." You furrowed a brow, unable to understand why he felt a pull to fuss over the unfixable. The host was handing you the scribbled up check, and you were handing him your one and only credit card, knowing full well this would max it out.

"So how can I pay you back for being a part of the night that ruined yours?"  George pressed on as the exhausted-looking host fiddled with a kiosk

"Well, I don't know how you could possibly." You chuckled.

This was utterly ridiculous. There was no movie quite like it, but surely the actor beside you could score big on sending in this drama to a couple of playwrights. This was the kind of nonsense you'd read in the headlines of those tabloids but never believed for a second.

As you signed off on your ruined meal, George reached for one of the restaurant's tiny business cards and asked the host for a pen.

"I'll give you my number. Call me when you think of something and I swear I'll make it up to you."  George explained before turning and offering the card to you.

Oh, of course, this night was only getting stranger. George really had little to do with this evening falling apart, but the seemingly genuine, yet random act of kindness was nice enough in the depth of your despair to get you to agree.

"Okay fine." You breathed a laugh, taking the card. The most fun you would have all weekend was probably going to be showing off the actor's number in your contact list to your friends while you drank your problems away.

"I mean it." George nodded, each word stamped with assurance. The host waltzed away from the kiosk as you slid the strange gift into your pocket. And like a ghost who was never there, George turned and disappeared around the corner.

Your mother appeared at your side just then, and you gathered that she must have been waiting on the sidelines before coming to collect you. She wrapped an arm around your shoulder and wordlessly headed in the direction of your father's car. As you drifted along the pavement she spoke up.

"Was that... George Mackay?"

You couldn't help but snort a laugh. Your mothers dedication to all those morning talk shows was the only reason you'd know the answer to her question now, anyhow.

"Yeah. It was."

"Alright was let's get you home and out of this mess."

______

Thank God you decided to wait to move in with Colin. Your one-room flat never looked more like home than it did tonight.

You trudged toward your fridge, found a bottle of flavored vodka, and proceeded to pour an old Starbucks cup full of the alcohol. You took swigs as you sulked toward your bedroom. Your bed was neatly made and everything was in its place, for always, and for tomorrow.

Next to your vanity, encased in a clear plastic cover, your wedding dress. You took a big gulp of vodka as you walked up to the useless thing. The shop window's sign that read No Returns!, was almost bolder than the name of the shop its self. The dress was so beautiful and perfectly fitted. Maybe you could wear it one day...

But could you wear this wedding dress in a ceremony it wasn't meant for? You'd probably outgrow its perfectly tailored measurements in no time, at the rate you determined you'd begin stress eating. The dress served no purpose now.

You thought of destroying it, but you weren't drunk enough to justify that. The least you could do was donate the pretty thing in hopes it would serve someone else on their special day. Yours was ruined, permanently stained, just like Colin's shirt from the whine Chloe splashed in his face.

So after safely tucking the dress on a high shelf in your closet, you proceeded to get very, very drunk. You spent until midnight crying while you tossed out old polaroids and college sweatshirts. You cried on the floor for the entirety of your favorite Joni Mitchell album. You drank more vodka while you cried, and started to delete traces of Colin from your social media accounts. While mourning a wasted engagement photo session, you wondered how you could have been so dumb. Of course, he was cheating on you, he was never home and he never really took you out unless it was to show off your gaudy ring.

Before continuing your deleting spree, you searched for Chloe online. You found her after a while. By the looks of her profile, she was a couple of years younger than you and was studying to be a nurse.  You then searched around for George, coming up short. Of course, he probably kept all his profiles under a different name to avoid getting tagged in all those crazy fan posts.

Oh well, you had far bigger worries...

___

You woke up to your phone ringing at the break of dawn. You had no choice but to ignore your splitting headache and answer. It was the venue, calling to warn for the rainy weather that had blown your garden set up. You wished you had more time to practice letting everyone down easy, but you were left with no choice but to apologize and call off the wedding altogether. When they asked you to reschedule, you just gave them Colin's phone number.

You spent the rest of the morning calling the baker and the florist and the planner and your mother. She informed you that several of your family members were completely bereft to have flown into town to be let down and she'd caused a whole family squabble defending your honor. You tried to hold back vomit as you moved through your tragic apartment. There were empty tissue boxes and icecream containers on the floor, and ripped up bits of polaroid on the sofa.  It was raining cats and dogs and a chill crept through your rickety windows. Not even a warm shower helped cool or calm you. Not even your best fuzzy plum robe kept you warm.

Right when you thought you couldn't be any more disappointed, your phone buzzed.  There was a bright white notification, a confirmation email for your flight tomorrow morning.

"Oh shit, I forgot about this." You whined. The reservations were made in your name months in advance, a week and a half trip to Rome and Barcelona and a few tickets to a symphony, and reservations for a billion touristy things like a wine tasting and a tour of each city. How were you ever gonna work this one out?

Maybe a trip was just what you needed. Maybe you could go on a spree and forget your troubles. But there were reservations for two and you really didn't want to be alone. Who could you possibly bring along who would put up with your inevitable sulking? Your mother would just try and tell you it was all going to be okay. Your bridesmaid was Colin's sister.

Then, memories of how your night ended flashed across your mind.

Just last night George Mackay scribbled his phone number onto a card from the restaurant you'd been practically abandoned in. He asked you to call him if there was a way he could help make up for being a part of the shittiest night ever.

You stood in a dizzying hurry and went to find the hidden treasure.

The card was a little bent at the edges, but near the bottom in sloppy scrawl was indeed a row of numbers.

You typed them each in your phone slowly, like each new number might add up to a bomb set to explode in your face. Then you triple-checked that you got the order right.

Since this was George's idea, since he'd decided he owed you one, you pressed the call button.

As it rang, you wondered if the twist in your gut was from having far too much to drink last night. What if it's a fake number?  Then I'll hang up and move on. You had absolutely nothing left to lose.

"Hello?"

Oh shit. He'd probably forgotten who you were. And you never did give him your name. As you thought of hanging up, you spoke too soon.

"Uh... okay hi, it's me, uh the girl from last night? We bonded over being cheated on."

"I wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon." George let out a warm chuckle. Okay, this was happening. Just roll with it. Just ask.

"Yeah, well remember how you said to call if I thought of a way you could help me out?"

"Of course. What's up your sleeve?"

"Come with me to Rome."

"What?"

"Well, Rome first, then a week in Barcelona. I've already paid for everything in advance. I already have two plane tickets for tomorrow morning. Come with me?"

"Are you serious? How do I know you won't assassinate me?" He laughed again, making you question every decision you'd ever made that led you to this point in your life.

"Yeah... for some reason I am serious." You decided. "My judgment might be a little skewed. But I'm trying to end this shitty situation with a bang so why not shoot my shot and ask the super hot movie star to come with me on my honeymoon, ya know?"

Maybe you were still a little drunk, or heartbroken. Maybe you'd actually gone insane and lost the capacity to understand right from wrong. But...

"And also you promised to make it up to me, or something."

"Right," George spoke as if he'd just realized this himself. "You're right. But first, you have to tell me your name."

Oh yeah.

"It's Y/n." You perked up, feeling kind of excited for your spontaneous manic episode. Was he agreeing?

"Y/n." George seemed to mull your name over like a blossoming thought. After a beat, you took one last shot to convince him.

"Look. I'll text you my google docs itinerary for the trip, and you can meet me at the airport in the morning, if you want. Just know I'll look super sad roaming around Italy all by my lonesome and my remaining happiness relies on you. Plus you get a free vacation."

You didn't know the man on the other line of the call at all, but you could practically hear him thinking. An agonizingly long bout of silence passed before he spoke up once more.

"Alright... I might just see you in the morning." George seemed to weigh his options. You gave him a suddenly nervous farewell and sent him the link to the details of this trip you'd been planning for months before you lost our nerve.

That evening, you cleaned up the trail from your drunken raid and finished packing your bags in-between. Most of your things had been ready to go in preparation, but all at once, you had no clue what to expect.

───※ ·❆· ※───

[ohtheseboysilove]

The greatess actress II [Ben Hardy x F!Reader]

sWords : 4, 000 K +

Warnings : mostly angst, fluff

Summary :  Things aren’t always as they seems.

Note : More angst for you guys, I know you all ask for it so here you go :) I’m really gmad for all the reviews and positive feedbacks I had for the first chapter so thank u so much ! I didn’t start writing chapter 3 yet but I have few ideas so if you guys have suggestions or theories I would love to heart hat !!! (i mostly replied to the messages in my inbox bc it’s easier to see them than the comments !!) Much love xx 

x Masterlist x

“And…action !”

You pretended to leave and Ben grabbed your wrist, tugging him against him rather roughly. You put a flat hand on his torso and looked at him with big, lost eyes.

“What—”

“Don’t say anything, baby” Then he crashed his lips on yours, sending a wave of electricity down your spine as you replied eagerly to the kiss.

The kiss was intense, slow and hot, during for what seemed like age. You weren’t really complaining. But it was the third time you did this scene because of the director who always wanted to add something and it started to be a bit much for you and your weak heart.

“And we got it ! Awesome guys !” The director jumped from his seat and went behind the camera looking at the screen with enthusiasm. “Everyone, take 5 !”

You sighed discretely and detached yourself from Ben, running a nervous finger through your hairs.

“Are you still coming tonight ?” You glanced toward the blond man, gaze falling right on his swollen lips, tempting and deliciously-looking red.

“Hum, probably ?” You scolded mentally yourself to stop looking at his mouth like a fucking creep and instead focus on his eyes.

Which maybe wasn’t better.

“Oh come on, it’s Randy’s last day ! He won’t forgive you if you don’t come” Ben winked and you chuckled awkwardly, ignoring the way the butterflies were going crazy in your belly.

“I guess you’re right” You smiled almost shyly, his bright and beautiful eyes were always making you kind of timid. “But I won’t stay long, we got an early scene tomorrow” You felt yourself become ridiculously red when he laughed loudly and threw an arm around your shoulders, squeezing you tightly against his strong body.

“You’re right and I’m pretty excited for tomorrow anyway”

You both walked to your trailers, next to each other, as the day was done and you couldn’t wait to go back into your own clothes.

“You are ?” You briefly remembered that the scene you had to do tomorrow was pretty romantic, lot of touchy-feely moments but nothing sexual, thanks god.

“Yeah, I mean…we’re filming at the beach so obviously breaks gonna be funnier than on set” He grinned and you silently swallowed back the disappointment bubbling in your chest.

“The beach, right” You forced a smile. Of course that was the reason why he was excited, idiot. He had a freaking girlfriend for god’s sake. “I will see you later, Ben” You waved awkwardly and climbed the few steps to your trailers before closing the door behind you, barely hearing his answer.

You let your body fall heavily on your bed, feeling exhausted and completely stupid.

It wasn’t the first time you had feelings for one of your co-star, honestly it was hard to stay hermetic when your job was to kiss a handsome and nice guy all day long. Once, you had to film for few weeks with Liam Hemsworth and god, the man was absolutely breathtaking. You had a tiny crush on him during the filming but nothing horrible, it didn’t make your job more complicated or anything. It was fairly innocent. You just enjoyed what a beautiful man he was but you stayed in control easily.

You also dated for two years with one of your previous co-stars, George Mackay but it was pretty obvious from the beginning that the both of you were into each other, which made everything easier.

You didn’t forget either when you had a tiny role in a big Hollywood move where you were only needed to literally make out with Leonardo DiCaprio. It was probably the first time you were so nervous to act, which was ridiculous because you barely spent more than two hours on set. But it was Leonardo freaking DiCaprio, your first crush had been Jack Dawson from Titanic so obviously it was huge for you.

No one probably remembered you from this movie but it was your little moment of pride. You made out with Leonardo freaking DiCaprio.

But nothing could compare to your feelings with Ben. You weren’t prepared at all for the wave of feelings which hit you strong in the face. Not at all.

When you first heard that you would be filming with Ben as co-star, you did some researches and found out it was the guy from the Bohemian Rhapsody movie, you were happy because he was an excellent actor in this film. And you couldn’t denied he was pretty attractive which could help as you were supposed to play lovers in this new project.

It started with an innocent crush, making your friends a bit jealous because you were kissing and holding hands with the new heart-robe of Hollywood. But it turned out to be much more when you started hanging out with him. He wasn’t only handsome. He was really funny, humble, generous, always making sure you were comfortable for any kind of intimate scene but he was also sensitive and not as confident as you thought first.

He was everything you could dream in a boyfriend.

You sighed loudly and rubbed your face roughly, heart beating heavily in your chest.

Why did you have to fall in love with an unavailable man ?

**

“We’re gonna miss you, big guy !” You watched Ben cheekily tussled Randy dirty red hairs, a large smile on his face.

“´f course you will ! But no need to go all emotional on me, Hardy. You’re still invited to my wedding in two months” Randy chuckled, his hand wrapped around a large pint of beer.

You giggled quietly as the two friends hugged again, both of them pretty tipsy after several drinks. Randy was playing one of Ben’s closest friend in the movie but he finished to do all of his scenes and he was now, sadly, leaving the set.

You took a little sip of your Margarita, only the second drinks of the evening for you as you hated being tired or hungover to film. Especially when you had to focus much more with your feelings for Ben, making your job much harder.

“Who is gonna kick my ass at FIFA now ?” The British man complained with a pout, making the whole table giggled.

“Literally everyone, Hardy” Joshua, one of the secondary actor of the movie spoke up, earning a round of applause from everyone.

You let your eyes trailed on Ben for few seconds. You couldn’t help but looked at him. He was so different out of the set, much more relax and you loved even more this part of him. His blond hairs were all over the place, slightly longer than before and it was certainly doing things to you. The way his eyes were sparkling due to the alcohol made your heart beat faster, this childish look was good on him, always wearing his boyish smile which made your knees weak.

And, surprisingly, Isis wasn’t here tonight. You felt like you could breath a little bit easier when she wasn’t around. You were so worried she found out you were in love with her boyfriend, it was scaring you more than everything.

“(Y/N) !” You jumped at Randy's voice and quickly tore your eyes from Ben’s jaw, pushing aside any thoughts.

“Yeah ?”

“I said do you want another drink ?” You nodded weakly and swallowed thickly, feeling nervous to almost been caught day-dreaming about Ben. “What were you looking at so intensely ? This little boyfriend of yours ?” The red hair laughed and pinched the blond’s cheek, making him groaned.

“Hey!” Ben pushed his hands away from his face and looked at you, an amused smile on his features. “I’m pretty sure she wasn’t looking at me, she see me enough all day long”

“True” You grinned and internally screamed. You could never be bored of looking at his pretty face. Never.

“So who where you looking at ? Did someone caught your eyes perhaps ?” Everyone turned, very discreetly, around and started giggling like teenager when they saw a quite charming brunette glancing over the table, few of his friends clearly teasing him.

“I see” Ben winked at you, finishing his drink with one gulp. “I think you should talk to him” He tilted his head toward the guy and you cringed internally.

It was literally the last thing you wanted to do. You didn’t even notice this guy until they all started looking at him. Your luck, obviously.

“I’m not sure about that” You laughed awkwardly and pushed few strands of hairs behind your ear, hoping for something, anything, to save you from talking to this stranger.

“Oh come on ! He is literally devouring you with his eyes” Ben nudged you gently. “And you were doing the same a minute before” He smirked and you were half relieved that he didn’t notice you were ogling him, not this random dude.

“(Y/N) ! (Y/N) ! (Y/N)” You wanted to disappear right now. You watched your friends cheering your name until you had enough and decided to agree, walking to the bar where you knew the guy would meet you too. “Go get it girl !” Randy drunkenly yelled and you felt your whole face turned red.

“Hey” You looked at the brunette, he wasn’t bad looking clearly. Curly hairs and cute dimples. Totally your type before you fell for a blond beefy guy.

“Hi” You smiled nervously and discreetly glanced toward Ben, looking for any kind of reassurance that he was maybe a bit annoyed by the fact that you were talking to another guy.

You couldn’t help yourself but wished that maybe he was sharing your feelings. Deep down. Maybe he was falling for you too but still confused with Isis. Conflicted. It was selfish but there were nothing you could do about these thoughts. Except keeping them for you.

But for all answer from Ben, you get a cheeky smile and two thumbs up. Clearly not bothered by the situation. You returned the smile, fake and smaller one before turning around to the man, your throat tight and your heart even more broken.

These feelings were clearly one-sided.

**

“You look like shit, hun” Molly greeted you as you sat, or rather flopped very graciously, on the chair in front of her, a fuming Costa cup in your right hand.

“That’s why you’re here” You snorted lazily before taking a sip of your coffee, not in the mood to talk much.

She glanced at you, feeling the mood immediately and decided to start your hairs and makeup in silence, humming quietly.

The whole crew was at the beach for the day and the place was truly breathtaking, a little creek mostly quiet except for the soft rolling of the waves. It was still dark outside, the sun barely peaking up and you needed to get the perfect scene as the director really wanted the whole sun rising romantic moment for your and Ben’s characters.

“Ten minutes before we started !” You sighed quietly and quickly finished your coffee, feeling already done with this way too cute scene for you.

Ben waved at you from his chair, Isis not far from him, both of them getting ready too. Yeah, like it wasn’t hard enough for you, Isis managed to get a small part as an extra for few scenes. Easy when you dated the main actor. And even more when you were as gorgeous as she was.

“All done, honey” You thanked Molly and rose on your feet, walking toward the small wardrobe department to get your clothes for the shoot.

A cute little yellow bikini and a pair of sunglasses were all you needed for today. The thought of spending so much time near Ben with so little clothes on was stressful. You nearly fainted when you spotted him walking in his blue swim trunk, a beach towel lazily hanging from his right shoulder.

What a sight.

**

And…action !“

You took a deep sight and blocked every other thoughts than the ones about Ellie, the character you were portraying in this movie.

"I’m glad we decided to come here” Ben or rather Will, murmured in your ear, hands softly resting on your hips as you were perched on his lap.

“Me too” You slightly turned your head just enough to catch his eyes, smiling sweetly.

The scene was indeed very romantic. Kind of cliché but still, it was making your heart beat much faster. Ben was seating on the white sand, his body pressed against you was bringing shivers down your frame.

Your group of friends were seating around a camp fire, giggling and chatting as you and Ben were with them but in your own bubble, looking at each other lovingly.

As the sun slowly rose, you continued to act as you had to, suppressing the love which was wrapping your entire body every time you looked at him. Few kisses were exchanged, few touches as well and other sweet little attentions between the two of you, carefully following the script.

It was even harder because for you everything felt so natural. When you had to play with his hairs at the back of his neck you weren’t acting, not really. It was easy, like you done it your whole life. When Ben rested softly a hand on your knee you didn’t feel awkward or nervous, it felt right. And it had been like that since day one.

“You’re not too cold ? I felt you shiver during our scene” Ben whispered as you had a mini break, waiting for everyone to go back at their assigned spots.

You wanted to laugh at his innocent remark. God bless this sweet, innocent Ben. Yes it wasn’t very warm but the simple feeling of your half naked body against mine was the only main reason of my shivers.

But you simply nodded. “Yeah but it’s alright we’re almost done with this scene anyway” You patted his shoulder nicely and he gently rubbed your forearm, in a nice attempt of keeping your warm.

**

Few hours later and you were still on the beach, few more scenes to film with this time, the sun high in the sky and the heat nicely warming your skin.

You shielded your vision to watch Ben cockily walked toward you, his body dripping wet from the bath he just took in the sea.

“Hey there” He grinned and didn’t lost a minute before laying on top of you, making you squirmed under him at the freshness of the water.

“Get off me idiot !” You giggled and tried to wiggle your way out but his strong body was easily caging you.

“Can’t do that, you’re really comfy” He laid even more on you and you let out a shaky breath as you could feel every muscles of his body against yours. “Everyone is having fun, except you, come on !” You gasped when he ran his wet hand in your hairs, purposely messing them on your face before moving off you.

“I’m reading a very good book” You weakly replied, the lie tasting bitter on your tongue.

You were just avoiding going near his girlfriend. You were on a break for a little hour and most of the crew was in the water and you would love to join them. But Isis was there too, gaining most of the attention as she was always speaking loudly or giggling. And did you mentioned how pretty she was ? Everyone could see that too. So you just felt awkward next to her, stupid really but she was so confident and dating Ben. You were so scared that somehow she noticed how you looked at him and understood what was going on. It would be a total mess if she did. 

“Yeah, whatever” The blond rolled his eyes at you bad excuse before catching your hips and throwing you over his shoulder. You screamed from the top of your lungs as he run toward the water, chuckling louder every time you asked, rather yelled, him to let you go.

He threw you on the water as everyone cheered, apparently really amused by his stupid joke. You felt two hands quickly grabbing you from under the water and you took a big breath, the salty water dripping on your face.

“You’re alright ?” Ben’s giant smile immediately warmed you up. You clenched your hands on his shoulder, wiping the water from your features with your free hand, couching a bit at the salty taste.

“Asshole” You mumbled as you pushed your hairs away from your face. You slapped his chest when he audibly laughed. ”This is so not funny ! I was fine on my towel" You protested but couldn’t suppress the amused smiled from blossoming upon your face.

“Why are you laughing then ?” Ben teased you and you rolled your eyes before swimming away from him, heart fluttering heavily at the simple interaction you just had with him.

Why he had to be so bloody cute with you all the time ? It wasn’t helping your case.

You looked behind your shoulder toward Ben and your smile dropped immediately when you spotted Isis, hanging around his neck as they shared a giggling kiss.

He was just being friendly, get your shit together for god’s sake, (Y/N).

You didn’t miss the suspicious glance that Isis threw you, her brows slightly furrowed like she was in deep reflection. She gave you a little smile when she caught your eyes on her before she focused back on the British man.

You deeply hoped she wasn’t thinking anything about this little friendly moment between you and Ben.

**

“Baby, can you put me some sun-cream on ?” You raised your head toward Ben and stood up, grabbing the protection from his hand.

“You knew you could do it yourself” You commented as you applied a small amount of cream in your hand before rubbing it onto Ben’s large shoulders.

“I can’t reach some part” He grinned, sunglasses hanging low on his nose.

It was like the universe like to torturing you. Every scene you had to do was painfully touchy today and it was putting you under a strong pressure. Isis’ intense gaze on you wasn’t helping either, she watching with attention every of your interactions with her boyfriend.

It wasn’t your fault, you were just acting right now. But you felt incredibly uncomfortable under her eyes. Like you were doing something wrong. Which you weren’t as it was your freaking job.

“You’re just lazy, Will” You rolled your eyes and kept rubbing the sun-cream on his back, breathing quickening as you reached his hips. “Done” You announced before he turned around, welcoming you with his beautiful and chiselled face.

“Why about here, hum ?” He cheekily drummed his digits on his firm pectoral. He cocked his head to the side, wearing your favourite boyish smile. “Don’t wanna burn” He pouted and you bit your lips, finding him unfairly adorable.

You quickly stopped your day dreaming and scoffed as you were supposed to, pretending to be annoyed.

“You’re a pain in the ass, Will” You repeated the same actions, pouring cream in your hands before rubbing it on his warm torso, goosebumps spreading all over your skin,

“But you love me anyway” He replied with a little smile, pushing his sunglasses on the top of his head.

“Yes, I do” You murmured and, not without difficulty, grinned at him. You were supposed to be happy but the painful truth hiding behind your words was hard to get along with.

“Your hands are so much softer than mine” The blond sighed as he closed his eyes, your pads barely touching his abs. You couldn’t go further or you would literally combust.

“That’s because you never want to put night cream on yours, silly” You said and took few steps away as he lowered his head toward you, eyes still closed. You sighed loudly and quickly rubbed the sun cream on his face.

“No, no ! Stop !” The director made you jump as Ben opened his eyes, both of you looking at him. “(Y/N), darling, you were doing perfectly fine but this last scene…you need to be gentle and tender, alright ? It’s supposed to be a romantic scene between Ellie and Will, not looking like you just want to get ride of him” You chuckled weakly and nodded, watching the director going back to his chair.

“Already annoyed with my presence ?” Ben teased as he went back to his previous position.

You simply smiled and waited for the green light of the cameramen before executing the script. You slowly rubbed your fingers against his face, caressing every of his features without looking away from his eyes, giving to the director all the love he wanted. You swallowed thickly at your proximity, his eyes not leaving yours for a second as you kept caressing his strong cheekbones.

“There you go” You rubbed the remaining of cream on his neck and locked your arms behind it, repressing a shiver when his hands found your face.

You absolutely adored how his digits slid softly on your skin, cupping your jaw like if you were the most precious thing in the world. His thumb gently caressing your cheek as he pressed a sickly sweet kiss on your lips. You could feel the warmth coming from his chest and the pleasant sigh which escaped your mouth wasn’t for the act anymore.

There were absolutely not better feeling in the world.

**

You let out a deep breath as you snuggled further into your hoodie, the warmth of the day already fading away as the sun disappeared slowly. You grabbed your phone and answered few texts, exhaustion rolling down your bones.

“Are you texting the guy from yesterday ?” You shook your head lazily, letting a yawn escaping your mouth as Joshua, who was playing your brother, sat next to you. “Why not ?”

“Not really interesting” You didn’t bother explaining further, to tired for that. ”How it’s going with Danny ? When he is coming already ?“

Joshua’s eyes immediately lighted up at the mention of his boyfriend.

"Very well, thanks” He beamed and showed you his new screen lock, an adorable picture of the two of them with their new puppy. You let out a little aww and Joshua smiled wider. “He is coming next week, I can’t wait to see him ! And to introduce him to you !”

You listened to his exciting chatting, a little pinching for your heart at how happy and in love he was.

**

You groaned and get up from your chair as Ben was late for filming. You knew Isis was around so they probably just didn’t see the time, laying in bed. Still, it wasn’t something Ben did often, he was always in time and ready to work.

You swallowed roughly as you walked to his trailer, praying they weren’t shagging because you didn’t know how your heart would take it.

“It’s my freaking job, Isis !” You jumped at Ben’s loud voice followed by few cursing words.

You froze and decided smartly to not knock on the door and instead waited patiently next to the trailer, ear dropping shamelessly. You shouldn’t but you couldn’t help yourself.

“Well, I don’t like it at all, Benjamin !” She yelled back and you heard him sighing, probably knowing he was already late and his girlfriend wasn’t helping. “You didn’t see the way she look at you !”

You felt the same way as the day your best friend from high school threw you a bucket of freezing water on your head. You stopped breathing by fear they would hear you and tried your best to not panic.

Was she talking about you ?

Of course she was ! Who else could be the She ? You were done, done, done. The rest of the filming would be just awkward because of you and your stupid feelings.

"Oh my god, Isis ! We already had this conversation, (Y/N) is simply doing her job, alright ? You need to stop being so paranoiac for Christ’ sake !”

You felt yourself sweating uncomfortably as you listened to them, heart beating like crazy. This was a nightmare.

“She is not acting anymore Ben ! Open your damn eyes for once !” Isis groaned as she slammed a cup loudly on the table, making you jumped again. “She is not acting at all ! It’s fucking obvious !”

“What are you saying Isis ?” Ben muttered, clearly done with this argument. “Come on, enlighten me as apparently you know better than everyone !”

There a beat of complete silence, your muslces completely tetanised as you waited for her answer.

Isis let out a sarcastic, cold laugh. It worried you a lot. And then she pronounced these six little words which would make your heart stop. 

“She is fucking in love with you, Ben”

**

Tag list :  @jennyggggrrr @queenlover05 @cubedtriangle​

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[baekchelor]

ａｓｈｏｒｅ[ix]

pairing: bodevan cash x reader genre: Doctor! AU, Romance, Angst, A tiny bit of Smut summary: After a fall out with your fianceé, and an opportunity to chase your dreams, you embark into a medical mission trip to Namibia where you run into self-taught doctor Bodevan Cash. Love ensues. word count: 4.7k a/n: I think you will love this. I loved writing this so, so much. This is the final chapert, BUT we still have the Epilogue to come. I’m opening a vote for my new story, if you want a Ned Kelly AU pls comment a 🥵below and if you want a George Mackay GossipGirl AU comment a 🤭.

❝the  sea,  the  majestic  sea,  breaks  everything,  crushes  everything,  cleans everything,  takes  everything...from  me.❞                                                                                             ― corinne  bailey  rae

THREE ｅｉｇｈｔｅｅｎ ｄａｙｓ

◄ ｐｒｅｖ

Being completely, utterly honest, you were one of those doctors who suffered the hidden pleasure of actually enjoying Grey's Anatomy. Guilty as charged. Not ony our life, you've understood the guilt some of the characters experienced —Meredith, per se—when a phone buzzed loudly, the name of the person they were supposed to be committed to flashing on the screen, while they were trapped in dreamland and in the arms of someone else.

Empathy crawled over you, though, the thirteenth morning in Namibia. Over the bedside table, your phone spun over the fake wood as the ringtone chosen and reserved for Ethan and only Ethan, sneaked into your dream, grabbed you by the toes, and its claws were so sharp that on their attempt to drag you out, you jolted awake.

However, you weren't able to sit up all sweaty and scared. You tried to, but you were unable. The limbs in your body felt extremely stiff, heavy, and the source triggered the alarm system inside you. Someone's strong, perfect arms were resting tightly around your waist. Said someone, muffled and whined when you carefully freed your body and sat up, every inch of skin flushed red.

As things go, conveniently enough, it was almost midday, and you've slept curled up against Bodevan's frame. With the head buried on his chest, his arms encircling your waist, your legs mingled together... the entire flipping night.

Great. Just great.

The worst thing is —and it is shameful to admit, you must confess— the reason why you decided to answer Ethan's call that morning, was the fact that the longer your phone rang, the most possible it would wake Bo up. And firstly, you enjoyed the view too much to give it up. Secondly, the last thing you wanted was Bodevan to realise your fiancée had called.

By mere instinct, while you murmured a groggy Hello! to the speaker, your eyes travelled their usual route towards the exquisite engagement ring residing on your index finger. Then, right then, hell broke loose. Because there, right there, was none ring to be found.

Your eyes went wide, wild, and almost jumped out of your face when frantically, you introspected between the covers, underneath the carpet, across the floor only to be met with no sign of it.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

"Hey baby," Ethan's voice was sleepy, deep, and the obliviousness on it made your eyes water. "Did I wake you up, sleepyhead?"

Yes, he did, and your head is killing you.

How many drinks did you share with Bodevan last night?

How many bottles?

How on earth did you lose your engagement ring?!

"Yeah... It was a long night".

"Hospital emergency?" He pressed on, "You forgot to call me. I waited."

"Sorry, E," The apology means so much more, it quivers as you speak. "I was at the birthday party I mentioned before."

Bo rustled in the sheets beside you. Your voice must have woken him up.

The laughter at the other side of the phone, robbed back your attention, "Completely zoom out on that. How was it?".

"Fun, I guess..."

"So it was crap?"

"Yeah," you lied. More so, you didn't lie entirely. It was crap that you lost your ring, and it was crap that you snuggled all night with a boy who is not the one you're going to marry —and it was crap that if you're completely honest with yourself, you didn't give a shit about it. Because you were certain, almost certain, you have fallen in love with another man.

As in, with the man in front of you with wild pillow hair and piercing blue eyes.

With Bodevan Cash.

This was madness. Africa induced madness! Surely, this infatuation was a result of the miles-away syndrome. You haven't seen your fiancée in two weeks, and you have spent the majority of your days in the company of the uniquely weird boy.

But what if... what if the loss of your ring was destiny talking? Perhaps it was written in the stars that the sapphire engraved item wasn't supposed to be wrapped around your finger.

Fate or not, you needed to find it. You couldn't just give up on it and on Ethan. It wasn't fair, and you weren't that kind of girl.

In such wise, you cut the conversation short and hurriedly hung up the phone. Ethan believed your excuse: you slept in, and you needed to rush to the hospital for your rounds.

After you were enchanted by the fact that under a morning sky, Bo's eyes really did match, and you giggled and blushed over breakfast with him —you didn't share pancakes, you wouldn't do that to Ethan. The meal of choice was waffles and sweet but dark coffee—you two embarked on the exhausting search for the ring.

The starting point was the clinic, under the patient's cot. Then you searched across the beach, digging in the sand as if you were looking for seashells. You searched all over your cabin, in between the sheets, under the bed, inside the drawers...On day fourteen, you and Peera turned the teepee upside down, pushing furniture to the corners, emptying the shelves, to no avail. On day fifteen, you asked the hotel plumber to dismantle your sink, in  case in your drunken state you'd washed your hands and didn't notice it going down the drain. On day sixteen, you gave up the pursuit. On day seventeen, you came to terms with it and gathered enough courage to break the news to Ethan.

Today, on day eighteen, you are ready. Or at least, you think you are. Bodevan will be here soon, like every day around 9pm to strum some chords on his acoustic guitar and then play that silly game you invented a week ago where either of you would close their eyes, while the other wrote medical terms onto your skin. Whoever wins, gets to choose dinner —and breakfast, because weirdly enough, Bo has been staying the nights. And he always wins.

Holding yourself, in seek of steadiness, you dial Ethan's number. The rain has increased, and you wish upon the stars it delays Bodevan's arrival.

Ethan picks up almost immediately, "Hello, you. I'm on my lunch break, so you're on luck today."

Here it comes. No filter.

"I lost the ring."

"What ring?" He's chewing something, an apple you presume. Ethan loves apples.

"The engagement ring."

"You did what?" He is not screaming, but his voice is sharp, and it cuts right through you.

"I-I lost it. It fell off the night of Danny's birthday party."

"I see." You know what it's about to come, you recognise the tone on his voice as the one he employs when he's aiming to hurt. "You lost your engagement ring the day you got wasted while partying with that excuse of a doctor you're working for."

"I was not-", you hurry, "I mean I didn't..."

"Of course, you did. I know you. I know your hangover voice, and I'm not a fucking idiot."

"Ethan, I-"

"Will you cut the bullshit?" he intervenes, "This is your revenge from what happened with Harper. I understand."

Your mouth falls open, at a loss for words, "Are you implying that I lost your ring on purpose, to get back at you?"

"Yes," he said firmly. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

Rage curls in your stomach, "Wow. Real nice, Ethan. You really don't know me at all."

Ethan laughs. He fucking laughs. "I'm saying this because I know you." None of you talks for a minute, and then he breaks the silence, "I'll change your flight for tonight."

"No," calmly, you answer. "I'm not leaving until I find that stupid ring."

"Come on, you're never going to find it." Ethan sighs, evidently done dealing with your stupidity. "I will just buy you a new one."

"I don't want a new one," you say, still calm. You've been pacing back and forth concerning the decision you're about to make. Finally, you've made up your mind, and it's clearly the right choice. "I don't want an engagement ring, Ethan." The rest of the sentence goes quietly, "I-I don't want this marriage."

He sighs again, and you can picture him resting his fingertips between his eyebrows, tired of dealing with you and your feelings. Ethan has always been a cold man, and for a while, you thought the only person he was warm to was you. Such a fool. "Is this your way of saying you're still upset over my previous marriage?" asks Ethan. "Because you said you were fine, but I knew this would happen—"

"It's not just that," you confess, in part, you haven't get over it yet and eighteen days in Namibia haven't bought you enough time to do it.

"What are you saying?"

Your heart grows heavy. You hate this. But you have to do it.

"I can't marry you, E. I'm sorry. But I-I can't promise away my entire life with someone when I'm not even sure how I want to live it," you confess, voice breaking.

"Fallen out of love with me already, huh?" he questions, the pain sewed to his words, further breaking your heart.

"I love you. I'm just—It's been hard, this whole thing... we being liers, you being married, me being here..." You don't dare to say his name, but you think it. Bodevan. "I don't know what I'm supposed to know, but at least at this exact moment, I'm sure I can't marry you."

"Alright," comes the response, always calm, always composed. "Let's take a break. We'll talk when you're back."

"Ethan—"

"I'm hanging up now."

Before you could retort, he hangs up. You feel a strange sense of relief, even though something inside you broke with the knowledge of what you'd just done.

It isn't entirely over, you're aware. You still have to go back, and you have to face him, and return gifts, and send apology letters to the guests. But the confession is off your chest. You didn't want to lie to him anymore.

As you let out a deep, heavy sigh, you glance back and notice that right at the doorframe, stands your very own sun. Now you understand why it's raining and cloudy; sunlight is trapped in your cabin. Bodavan witnessed everything, and he is watching you, warily.

Plastering a smile on your face, you greet, "Hi."

He rubs the back of his neck. "I would ask if everything is okay, but clearly…"

Shaking your head, you explain, "It had to be done. I can't do this anymore. Pretend as if I love him like he loves me and spend the rest of my life with him. It's not fair to him, or to me."

Bodevan says nothing. For the first time in days, he looks incredibly flustered, ocean eyes avoiding any sort of contact with you. You open your mouth to say something, anything, but then he steals the words away.

"I apologise," he blurts. "It was inappropriate for me to spend so much time with you, and even worse t-to fall asleep with you in the same bed."

Your cheeks burn in embarrassment, shame. More so, hurt. "What are you saying? All of that was my choice, you didn't force me into anything. Wh-why are you apologising?"

"Because I have this... feeling that whatever just happened," Bo hurries his gaze away from you. "H-Happened because of me."

If there was a hole in the middle of your room, you would crawl inside and dig your way back to New York.

"It had nothing to do with you," you half-lie. "Nothing even happened between us," you snap, coming off rougher than you'd expected.

"Right," he murmurs, looking away. You can't fathom why the look on his face manages to break your heart more than cancelling your engagement had. "Let's play something then. W-Whats your favourite song?"

"Sweet Child O' Mine."

He smiles, "That's my mother's as well."

Bodevan shrugs off his wet jacket. He clears his throat and sits on the edge of your mattress, guitar resting on his lap. You hear the soft sound of his voice singing a much slower version of the song, and suddenly, you feel at peace. Absent-mindedly, you pick up Bo's signature mustard jacket, draping it over a loveseat so it can dry. Right off the bat, something silver and sparkling drops to the ground.

You gape. Lying there, on the floor, is your engagement ring. Looking undamaged and pristine. A smile would have curved your lips if it hadn't unmistakably fallen from Bodevans's jacket.

When you crouch down to pick it up, your mind begins to spin. Since when does Bo have it? Had he had it all along? Or had he found it and not told you?

The mere train of thoughts makes you sick to the stomach. You clutch the ring in your fist.

When Bo strums the last chords of the song, and his soft voice comes undone in a whisper, he looks up to find you standing there, features betraying the long lost smile.

You stare out at the bay, avoiding the gaze he refuses to haul away from you. His eyes are deep blue, as wild as the waves crashing the shoreline. Confusion is evident on his face, brows curved in the sense of bewilderment. Right now, Bodevan is a doctor, trying to diagnose your symptoms, and figure out what shifted inside you that has you bracing yourself against the biting gale off the water. And him.

You tug the yellow montgomery closer, but it is no use. Only one thing could warm you tonight, and he is out of reach. You miss the way he fills the circle of his arms with your body, leaning down to kiss the crown of your head —it should be an Anatomy case of interest, it seems to be customed as the perfect resting spot for his lips. But it is a good thing Ethan isn't here now. What he'd find out would leave a bruise on Bodevan's face, and it would be the last hit to turn you into pieces.

Bo's eyes drop to his jacket, your fist clenched around the fabric, and his face falls. Dr Cash found the disease, and it pains him, of course, it pains him. He just figured out, the source of your lack of well-being, is him.

"You know," he states, careful. The astonishment in his voice doesn't surprise you, yet you can't explain to yourself why it stings so much. You’re trying your hardest to stay calm. But a lump has formed in your throat, your stomach has turned into a thousand knots, and you can feel the tears building up inside your eyes.

"Why?" It is pathetic, really, how your voice breaks amidst a one-word sentence. The tears are free now, streaming down your cheeks. "I know it wasn't for the money. Unless you've fooled me on your Maoist shit as well."

"A fighter for the rights of poor farmers and landless labourers, seeking to overthrow the state and usher in a classless society? I am."

"Then, why did you do this?"

Bodevan looks away, clearly weighing his options. It takes him a second, and then he is down on his knees, staring up at you with big ocean eyes, and your legs turn to jelly.

"I know what you think, but I didn't do this to hurt you," he grabs your hand, and you feel his fingerpads as though they were burning through my skin. He takes your palm in his own, urging to open up your fist. "You have broadened my mind, you've helped me grow. The way you've opened me up —you've penetrated deep inside me. Like if you had cut me open in the operating table and filled my insides with you. And I know I penetrated deep, deep inside of you—" he stutters, with eyes still wide. If you weren't as mad at him, you would find the pink streak across his cheeks adorable, and you would find inside you the box of tenderness reserved just for Bo and his peculiar self. But Bodevan made sure to close that box, cover it in tape, and carry it all the way down to the basement in your heart. "Not, not like that. I-I would love to... o-one d..."

"Bodevan..."

"I did it because I am an idiot," he blurts out. "I'm an idiot for you. I-If you'll have me." Right on cue, you watch him suck in his breath, wishing to take back his confession. Clear as water, you can see the progression of his emotions settle in the crease between his eyes. Bo feels impetuous, then bewildered, then ashamed by his own forwardness. He always does this, too many times before.

"No," you whisper, remembering...always remembering... Ethan. Bodevan's lies. "I don't want to talk to you, and if you care for me at all, you won't say another word."

His ocean eyes drill into you. Bo steps back and crosses his arms over his broad chest —God, you'll miss watching his yoga routine in the morning. But this is his fault.

For a few seconds, he looks at you strangely, wondering whether to concede. You stand for a moment, gathering energy, it's stupid, but it is taking all of you to walk away from this misunderstood unique boy. But is time to let your feet drag you out of this air-consuming cabin, away from Bodevan Cash and his perfect long hair. Back ashore.

The moment you storm out, rain drains all over you. It soaks you in a matter of seconds, but you don't care, you really don't care at all. You're angry and upset and feel as if you're adrift in the middle of the ocean, with thunders in the horizon and strong winds moving your ship from side to side, without giving you a rest.

Bodevan chases after you. Ever so careful, he clasps his big calloused hand, around your waist and guides you to meet his eyes. It's puzzling, he has never done such thing, on the contrary, his gaze is always playing hide and seek with you.

"I didn't tell you because every time your anatomy appears in from of me, I run out of methodology," he says frustratedly. "Because this love no longer understand of reasons or advice and it feeds on pretexts, and it lacks pants."

With shaking hands, almost without noticing, you let the ring fall to the sand. "T-This love?" you ask quietly.

Bodevan doesn't let go of your wrist. His lids are squeezed shut. "I'm sorry. You have every right to never talk to me again."

"You didn't answer the question. Do you love me?" you ask again, heart hammering in your chest.

"By all means," he confesses, chest rising and falling. "I-I'm an idiot who somehow fell in love with you without realising it."

Dizziness overwhelms you. You share the same suffering than Bo. This love doesn't allow you to stand, it has broken your heels. Even if you get up, you'll fall again into it. Even if he hid the ring, you're still in love with him. Even if Ethan returns, you would still be in love with Bodevan.

You've transformed into a thing that does nothing but love him —fool, blind, deaf, brute. Bodevan Cash rules your thoughts day and night, withal how many times you've tried to bury him in your memory, you haven't figure out a way to forget him.

If you could exorcise yourself from his voice.

If you could escape his name.

If you could rip your heart out and hide, so you don't feel ever again.

Maybe then, you would be able to stop loving him.

"I'm stupid, you know? I always want the things I can't have" Bodevan stutters. "And now I've ruined everything."

Your thumb brushes against his cheek, "You haven't ruin anything."

Taking him by surprise, you untangle his grip from your waist and bring his hand to your waistline. His figure grows very still as you pierce through his blue gaze, his pupils nervous. "I gift you my waist," you whisper softly, pink mouth close to his bruised one. "And my lips, for whenever you want to kiss."

Both of you, nervous as hell, can't believe the promises that are rolling off your tongue.

"I give you my delusion," you giggle. "And the few neurons I have left."

Bo doesn't react and says nothing for a bit. It frightens you, but you find comfort in the fact he hasn't pull away from you. And then, he hums, "I gift you my silence."

You want to cry, of pure and golden happiness. Bodevan leans closer, resting the damaged skin of his perfect lips at the tip of your nose. And you say, "I gift you my nose too."

"I give you my bones, even," Bo interjects, voice deeper, rough. He is breathing heavily, forehead pressed to yours, and your mind flashes back to the first day you met him, and how you have been like this, near the sea. "But don't run away from me anymore."

Bodevan lands his lips into yours. Responsive, you entangle your hands in his damp locks, luring him closer to your body. His lips are igniting fire down your spine, and you discern now why he is your sun, and why his eyes are like the morning sky.

Dramatically out of character, he doesn't hesitate when you reach down to pull his shirt up and off his body, your small, cold hands resting on his toned, flipping fantastic chest. The rain continues, yet, neither doubts to turn your clothes into a wet pile dangerously close to the seaside. Bo lowers you onto the sand, kissing patterns into every inch of skin he encounters, tracing the entire shape of your body. Never in your life, have you felt this alive. Every part of you burns under his touch and his eyes, and you don't fear to be consumed by the fire.

Eyelids screw shut when you hear yourself gasp. Your bodies have entwined, and you hold him close, closer as you ever embraced someone, his minty breath misting your ears as he whispers your name.

"Bo..." lazily, you flutter open your eyelashes and watch him in adoration.  His jaw is clenched in concentration; his hard muscles contract and pull on top of you. Bodevan brushes your cheekbone with his fingers and kisses you twice before burying his head in the crook of your neck. His breath is staggering, hot and wild.

Bringing his face to yours, he opens his eyes, "You once asked what I loved most in the world..." You did. He answered, his siblings. "I lied. It's you."

As you smile, you recognise you're equally a liar. When he asked the question back, your answer was medicine. But it is him. It really is him.

The following morning, you wake up tangled in the sheets, a beam painting your face with pink shades as you remember why. Peacefully asleep and ever-so ethereal, Bodevan lies next to you.

Bo matches your smile as you kiss his cheek, your fingertips tracing the words you couldn't find yesterday, but the ones you're certain you feel. He's always been an expert, he always beats your ass, and you can tell he understands what you're writing with invisible ink across his back when he smiles, lids still closed. You love him, and although you can't vociferate it, you want him to know it.

Bo pulls you into his arms, "I'll wait for you. You have my words" he rustles. "But you need to go back to Manhattan. You need to go sort out if you really want a life in the middle of nowhere, with me.

"I do."

"You don't," he intervenes. "You have been here too many days, now everything is blurry. My dad, he—He never asked my mom if she still wanted the life she was living. And she killed herself." Tears run down both your faces, no matter how hard you're trying to stop them. "I would never do that to you."

You nod, "Alright."

Bo wipes your tears away with his thumb, "I will miss you."

"I will miss you too," you choke. "So much."

With one last look back at the boy with morning-sky coloured eyes, you step into the departures gate, taking a shaky breath as Bodevan waves goodbye. An ocean will be between you, and your heart drowns the entire flight home.

ｎｅｘｔ►