#I had a complete mental breakdown

[myheartxmyman]

Hätte ich die Wahl zwischen vergewaltigt werden, dafür aber alles ab Silvester nicht so abgelaufen wäre wie es ist. Oder nie wieder vergewaltigt werden, und die Realität wäre weiterhin die Realität, dann würde ich ohne zu zögern Option eins wählen.

preferred. If you wanted to spend new years eve with me you would have taken this 10 minutes drive .. I mean you were able to drive 9 times longer in the other direction. The other proof that "wish I would be with you on the tower like last year' wasn't the truth is, that you booked that flight. If what you wrote would have been the truth you should have been like 'I want to be with her. Now I am with my mates and over one hour drive away from her. I should at least spend the 1th of January with her. Celebrating our own new years eve like we did the year before.' Instead you booked a flight. YOU BOOKED A FUCKING FLIGHT. That alone broke my heart because I waited and waited and waited and hoped again and again and again. Instead of spending my father's money on trips/vacations/traveling/exploring I LITERALLY SPENT IT ON SHIT. Because people have to eat, while waiting for things that are never gonna happen. And then, out of nowhere YOU BOOK A FUCKING FLIGHT. And what really shattered my being, my trust in you, what ripped my heart out, what nearly cut our already damaged bond completely through was the LOCATION you went to. You lied by saying 'that's a coincidence it was the cheapest flight', and you really brought the fucking Robin thing GETTING MY HOPES UP THAT YOU ARE GONNA STAY, and then left nevertheless. You KNEW, you did it aswell. I would have given you those 500€ without hesitation, but I had no worth at all for you. And I begged, I tried to find a compromise, it didn't matter to you. I didn't matter. You decided what you wanna do like living a single life. Your behavior had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH A RELATIONSHIP. I can't understand how you were able to hurt me that bad. How the fucking hell could you do to me what you did?! And sadly it wasn't the first time I had that awful thought in mind. Sometimes you are the CRULEST person I ever met. How just how?!?! You enjoyed yourself, having a good time sitting in the sand, in the warmth, listening to the sound of the ocean, watching a sunset with another girl right next to you. Just thinking about this makes my insides cringe in agony and tremendous pain. And said girl 'she's just a friend of Aman', was always right by your side. Leg pressed on leg. Her leg was pressed to yours not to Amans leg who was sitting on the right side next to her. On your esplanade stroll or whatever it was you were walking closest to her, directly behind her, looking happy like you were living your best life. At the same time I had one breakdown after the other. Because I was stupid enough to trust you. I trusted you completely and you smashed it. I saw the way you were looking at her and I know your behavior good enough to see some things. You did quite a lot of things those last months that hurt me badly, but your 'Männertrip' killed something inside of me and I can't look at you the same.

[heymisterpigeon]

a lazy summer day

[shima-draws]

Been having a rough couple of days. Send me asks?

[stardust-sunset]

hoy oh boy i love when my mom very loudly and very openly complains about how much of a brat she thinks i am in front of other people that we haven’t seen in over two years in a public setting where other people can hear and are looking over and probably thinking i’m some spoiled brat because she paints me in such a negative light to threes poeple

i love how she openly jokes about beating me for not socializing tonight (or tomorrow because i know i’m gonna have a drained social battery by the end of tomorrow) and she even goes as far as to say there are mandated reporters and she doesn’t care

i love how she claims i’m not social or independent enough after proceeding to throw me to the wolves for 10 hours on my own and i can’t text her for help or she’ll just say i should’ve known what i’m doing already

i love how she complains that i’m not physical with her but i am with my dad because im a “spoiled daddy’s girl” even though in reality i can’t mention anything to her without her shooting it down but my dad listens to me and takes the time to engage with me

i love it.

[descalled]

my @layton-secretsanta piece this year!!

I hope you like it Minichou!! I tried to incorporate several of the things you said you liked! Happy Holidays!

[sternenhimmel-mond]

If I had a nickel for every time an adult cartoon showed an elderly white couple that was the parents of one of our main characters being taken care of by a male, black, live-in nurse that was in a polycule with them, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

[oflgtfol]

i was talking to my therapist last week about how i'm kinda excited but also equally apprehensive about starting grad school this fall because yes, i so so desperately needed a gap year otherwise i think i literally would have killed myself and/or had a breakdown big enough to land me in the hospital, and even beyond that i just needed to figure out a more concrete plan of what i'm going to do with my life in general -- while all of that is true, and i'm glad i took the gap year for it, i'm also apprehensive because i genuinely feel like an entirely different person than i was even at this exact point in time last year, nevermind anything earlier than that. it's only been a single year of me being out of school but my life has changed so dramatically, mostly for the better, and my whole personality has flipped on its head, it's just going to be so fucking weird going back to the same school, the same campus, potentially seeing my old friends around. augh

[sparklestheunicorn]

Favourite lyrics from Midnights by Taylor Swift

[fruitcakebro]

Friend: *Compares the two of us to Desertduo*

Me: Uhhh, maybe he just doesn't know how the fandom views them. I know he's never actually seen the Life serie-

Me: *Realises he proofread a Desertduo fanfiction I wrote for me* Wait

[gfwooyo]

it's so crazy having a nephew who's very aware of what he's feeling and open abt it bc like just now before bed we were talking and the way he's thinking abt the school bus practice pickup/drop-off tmrw and then school starting the next day is EXACTLY the way i used to feel and the way he's thinking of everything and running through his morning routine and being worried abt a million things going wrong like. that used to be what i did in my head. and i feel like when i voiced any of it i was met with you'll be fine it's not a big deal blah blah blah and so tft now i'm the adult in the situation and i can sit with my nephew and talk it out and come up with solutions and ways to relax so that maybe he never gets to the point that i did....idk i'm just happy he feels safe with me

[seaofreverie]

Time for some personal stuff again (please bear with me)..... today was a long awaited coming out to my mum day hoorayyyyy

[sggk]

Actually the most insane thing about the transcript + whole 2hr meeting in general is that it was called because i had finally just said “It’s none of your fucking business” to D + his best friend (my closest coworker lol) after 20 straight minutes of them demanding to know whether or not i’ll “be their friend again”, & me saying repeatedly “I’m not comfortable talking about personal things during work” while they continued to scream at me and physically block me from leaving . So he threw me out of the studio for that, & when he then FOLLOWED ME HOME screaming at me abt how i’m obviously hysterical & ungrateful for how “good he’s been to me while i’ve tried to heal” i said “i hate you and i think you desperately need therapy.” Like i had to call a friend on the side of the road sobbing to ask if she could come help me and she literally ran out of the shower to grab her car to come get me away from him. And then him & his sister (HR) demanded i come back to the studio by myself that night for a meeting with the two of them to account for those things. And when i say that is ALL i said, i mean literally those are the only things i ever said to him that crossed a line in the entire months long situation both before & after he beat the shit out of me. AND I STILL FELT SO GUILTY ABOUT SAYING THOSE TWO THINGS TO HIM THAT I WENT HOME AND WANTED TO PUKE BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS THE MOST EVIL PERSON ALIVE FOR IT

[adelle-ein]

what a horrible fucking several months it's been

[tamagotchikgs]

Are you sure you haven't contracted sepsis dude?? Your posts really sound like it's worth getting checked out /gen

im gonna give it a couple days & see,,, going to the doctor has to be my absolute last choice o(-< i have no way of getting there except through my mom and she isnt aware of my sh and it. wouldnt go well if she were

[dredshirtroberts]

hi hello idk if any of you were under the impression that I am either cool or normal but let me assure you that the only reason you could possibly think either of those two things is because you haven't seen me when my Super Special Interest is involved. I keep that shit on lockdown.

[mylilsoysauce]

Just some of my Zhou Yu sketches 🤭