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#I had been considering commissions for a while now! and since im out of semester i figured it was now or never LOL!! 🙏
claymour ¡ 2 months
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HELLO. HI. 🤲 I've decided to try and open commissions on ko-fi for a bit!! 🏃🏃🏃🤸🤸🤸 → Link to comms is here If you were interested !!!
More details under the cut, and on my ko-fi page!! 🙏 Thank you very much!! :]
-All commissions are fully lined, coloured, and rendered!, further examples of my art can be found on my ko-fi!
- my prices are in CAD currency!
- I need a visual reference!! Please feel free to send as many references as you'd like! The more the better!
-This is my first time trying these out- so I apologize in advance if any issues arise from my inexperience!
- I may take up to a week to finish a commission!
- more details/rules can be found on my ko-fi page!! 🙏
Thank you very much!!!! Have a good day!!
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thewriting-corner ¡ 2 years
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WIP(s) Updates
Hi there! As many of you know, IM PUBLISHING A BOOK!!!! It’s called The Sun Leads Back To You and it comes out early next year. Now, since I have been pretty much been talking about querying and traditional publishing my sci-fi novel The Wrath of Chaos for pretty much my entire time on writer-gram. So, today I will be sharing some updates on both in case anyone cares lol
How far along am I on TSLBTY?
As of today, writing this post, I am 25k into the first draft with 9 chapters remaining. I would love to finish in the next five days while I quarantine but I know myself well enough that it won’t happen lol SO, I’m aiming to finish the first draft in the next two weeks.
What is the timeline for TSLBTY?
My hopeful plan is to publish within the first two months of 2023! If all goes well in the next few weeks, I’ll be living in Germany by then so the publication date will really depend on how quickly I can get proofs and ARCs delivered. Aside from that, I hope to send out ARCs (Advanced Reader Copies) around November/December of this year.
What is happening with The Wrath of Chaos?
What happened with this WIP was a terrible case of lack of motivation. After much research and many edits, I came to the conclusion that there wouldn’t be much of an audience for a YA superhero book. The market right now is mostly focused on enemies to lovers fantasy and romantic comedies, while sci-fi has kinda taken a backseat. And my last round of beta readers (and please, none of you take offense to this) really gave me the impression that none of them were really into the story nor did they like it. I don’t know if this is true, but I felt that if I couldn’t even have betas actually enjoy the book, maybe it wasn’t worth it. Plus, I feel that being a Christian writer won’t do me many favors while publishing traditionally (though my stories don’t really deal with religion aside from the ocasional character here and there).
However, I came to the conclusion that the people who don’t like me can suck it, and after two months of working at a call center I think i can confidently say that I am able to handle being yelled without crying. SO, I will continue writing for myself and the three people who still like superheroes and sci-fi.
I believe I mentioned this at some point, but I am only four chapters away from finishing the final draft. So my current plan is that when I take a break after finishing TSLBTY I will finish those last four chapters. I will then take a one week break and dive into the final edits (basically, polishing it as much as possible) before querying. I do not have very high hopes, because as I said, I don’t think there’s really a market for superhero sci-fi, but I have two main goals: two agents I really like and a small publisher I LOVE. If that doesn’t work out, then I will cry for about a week before focusing on TSLBTY and then starting my next book.
Would I self publish TWoC if trad doesn’t work out?
No, and for a very simple reason: money. For The Sun Leads Back To You, the biggest thing I’ll spend money is the cover and MAYBE commission art for promotional stuff and pre-order gifts. However, if I were to self publish The Wrath of Chaos just a (good) editor would cost me over $500. A cover would be at LEAST $150. I am soon to be a college student living abroad and while I do plan on getting a job, it will not be in my first semester or maybe even my first year. Self publishing The Wrath of Chaos would mean spending almost $1000 to sell a maximum ten copies. While I really did consider the possibility, the plan went down the drain when I realized how much it would cost.
Why did I decide to self publish?
I don’t know lol. I started to rewrite the story when I was going through one of my worst period of anxiety I’ve had in years. I started writing until I realized I was doing one chapter per day. Soon enough, it was a story I couldn’t get out of my head. I considered querying this one instead of TWoC, but the more I thought of it the less it made sense. IF, hypothetically, I got an agent, would they represent me when I changed to sci-fi later on? Or would I have to keep writing contemporary and give up on sci-fi? And would I be stuck on YA forever or would there be a possibility to upgrade or NA or even Adult later on? It wasn’t a matter of control like it is for most who choose indie. I looked at what I wanted my career to look like, and my goals for sci-fi align much more with traditional publishing, whereas for contemporary it’s literally just about getting my story out there. Not to mention, I have this challenge with myself of wanting to publish before turning 20. With my birthday in June, even if TWoC or TSLBTY did really well, I wouldn’t get to see them on shelves until I’m 21/22. Now, I will get to hold my book at 19 :)
When will more information be released?
Weellll, today I got and paid for the cover! I hope to have the final draft done by late September/early October. As soon as I do, I will be doing a cover reveal! It’s likely I’ll be kinda quiet until then, but I fully plan on doing teasers (quotes, reels, character introductions) and might start commissioning art around September, depending on how moving goes. Though if anyone wants to donate money to the cause or let me know of (legal) ways to make money please let me know lol.
And if you have any more questions or have any ideas of what you’d like as pre-order gifts please let me know!!!
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warmau ¡ 5 years
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{Special} College!AU Shinwon
*this post was commissioned | find all my college aus here | commission info
major: media management 
minor: rhetoric 
sports: brags about how his long legs are perfect for volleyball, but screamed bloody murder when hongseok spiked the ball in his direction once so you could say,,,,,,,,shinwon’s not a sports person
clubs: drama club (less for the acting, more for the strutting), public speaking, and of course - it’s not a club per say - but the fashion department always loops him into helping them out as an impromptu model
shinwon,,,,,,,,,,really didn’t think he’d even end up going to college,,,,,,,,,,,,,
really he was sort of set on debuting as a model and working it out from there 
but after a while, waiting around for work just got boring
so he left the agency he’d signed up with when he was still in highschool and applied to college
much to everyone's collective shock, his parents, sister, and himself included
hui: im so proud he took this step, you know shinwon is bright and im sure he’ll use his brain for good.
shinwon: exactly! 
shinwon five seconds later: actually i just realized i have to do homework again and i think im going to drop out?
hongseok: i knew it
shinwon’s reputation is all over the place - he’s kind of known as being messy, beautiful beyond comprehension sure,,,,,
but he’s messy messy
from his dorm room 
cluttered with magazines he’s been featured in, his guitar stands, vinyls which no one understands why he buys like this is the twenty-first century ......, and clothing strewn from the lampshade
to his dating history 
pretty sure he’s had a hook up with someone from every department available on campus like pre-meds, literature, music, hell even someone in egyptology was smitten by his good looks
and of course ,,,,, his personality 
from playing childish tricks on tired masters student jinho, to owning the student held fashion shows with impeccable grace and posture
yuto affectionately refers to shinwon as a rubix cube made of spikes, flowers, and a little bit of hot sauce
shinwon thinks it’s such a compliment, he tries to lean over and grab yuto in for a kiss 
(which is refused with an almost punch to the face)
he’s definitely a force on campus and is famous for different reasons with different people
but if there’s one thing shinwon has learned from life it’s that he really cannot stand to give two shits about what people say about him behind his back
not like he’s going to hear it anyway
and he’s blunt to the point where it’s sometimes too much and hongseok on occasion (many occasions) has had to just pick shinwon’s six foot tall body up
and carry him out - as shinwon continues to spew well-deserving facts at whoever it is that tried to start with him
(or any of his friends. someone once made an offhanded comment about yeoone who is way too nice to say anything and shinwon just stopped in and turned on his gucci boots heel to be like “come again?”)
loves when cute shy freshmen get all nervous around him like 
“oh my god, he looks like a marble statue! wasn’t he on that one magazine? he’s so pretty~ he must be so cool~”
shinwon: basking in it
hongseok: trying so hard not to tell them about how shinwon is nothing close to cool
has the worst diet imaginable - lives on fast food
and he does NOT work out which adds more confusion
pre-meds will be like “hey,,,,,,so,,,,,,,,,do you have like ibs or something? or is your stomach literally made of iron?”
and shinwon just slaps his scrawny tummy and is like “i don’t know man, but this machine runs smoothly!”
more clothes than he knows what to do with - likes brand names, but cannot afford them unless he has gigs - says he doesnt but totally owns a cheap tracksuit that he lazes around in during campus holidays
backpack covered in old rock band pins
always steals his classmate's pencils
notes stained with coffee 
binders unorganized, lost his textbook at a nightclub 
really again - does not look like he belongs in college LOL
does media management because it still keeps him in the loop of fashion, but without all the actual drawing and sewing
because no one trusts him near a sewing machine or fabric scissors
the rhetoric minor was a big surprise - but shinwon just goes
“i get grades for talking good”
jinho, twitching: “talking well. you can’t say “talking good”
shinwon: “talking sexy ;) hahaha”
jinho: ill kill him
he is an enigma with a shit-eating grin ,,,,,,, 
but he’s also hot. and has perfect proportions,,,,,,,,,,
you,,,,,,,are a fashion major,,,,,,,,who knows the legends about ko shinwon
about how he’s nothing but fire to play with 
that being said
you are absolutely, utterly, one hundred percent, totally infatuated with him
he’s been your muse since you first stepped into the fashion building and saw him making his way down the hall
half of someones finished project still pinned to his shoulders, messy orange hair pulled up with bobby pins and that smile
almost,,,,,, angelically,,,,,, twisted? 
you had no idea how to describe it - but you had remembered him and even though you knew no one else's name yet 
he was the person you could visualize in an instance
you’d learned his name at your first student held fashion show, where to your dismay he had already been picked by someone else to be their model 
and they’d skipped past calling out for him 
“shinwon~”
you repeated it again on your lips in a small whisper “shinwon”
it was unique, it was different, and you really really started liking it
everything about him was unique, different, and you can guess,,,,,,,,you were really starting to like him
not like you would ever act on it though
shinwon seemed untouchable, not because he was standoffish - actually he seemed like he’d be super easy to get along with
it was because he was just,,,,,,,,he was just so ,,,,,,, unusual 
and you wouldn’t consider yourself a shining star, you were like everyone else
waking up, doing your schoolwork, trying your best to breakthrough in fashion 
you had a small group of friends - you had your regular hangout spots - your favorite kind of coffee flavor
you were simple, you would say, and shinwon was not
that’s why he gave you so much inspiration
if you were one speck in the galaxy, he was like a whole milkyway 
you had started off just admiring from afar, but as time went back you started sketching too
at first it was what you could conjure from your memories of him
the flashes of him around the fashion department, when you saw him in the library, the orange hair - the sparkling oak brown eyes - the over-the-top outfit he pulled off effortlessly
and when you think you’d filled up half of your sketchbook with stills of him
you started to envision him in your designs
actually, you had lied, you were a simple person
but your mind was not - you might have stuck to simple tones and patterns in your wardrobe 
but when it came to clothes you made, you were vibrant and loud and risky
some of your professors had initially mixed up your work, thinking your submitted designs were someone elses
because well ,,,,,,,,,,,,, they just didn’t match
your designs were for someone,,,,,,,,,,,,,,someone like shinwon
bursting with confidence, immune to shame, always ready for a thrill
your goal had quickly went from being able to saying hi to him in the hallway 
to one day having him wear an original creation of yours
but getting shinwon as your model was a feat
either he wasn’t doing the show at all, or he was everyone elses number one pick
with long, lithe limbs and an almost wonderland like face
that is ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, until the final project for the semester came up
you were expecting it all to go as usual
the older fashion majors would get first dibs on their models - someone would pick shinwon (if he was even showing up)
and you’d only have to go back to drawing him with your designs rather than seeing them come to life
but to your almost painstakingly obvious shock
that was not the case
shinwon did volunteer to model for the final project - but,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,no one was picking him
actually - everyone was actively avoiding him
and when your turn came around you couldn’t believe you were finally getting to say it
“i’ll pick ko shinwon.”
suddenly there was a swarm of muffled whispers - you couldn’t hear anything clearly but as shinwon strode over to you 
he gave you a once over and winked - and the was enough to make your entire body flare up
after everyone got settled with their models, you were shaking with anticipation as shinwon slipped into the seat across from you 
“are you cold or am i just so handsome you can’t help shivering?”
he jokes, running a hand through his hair for added effect
“y-yes”
you answer, stupidly unsure of what else to say
he lets out a laugh, leaning over to pat the top of your head which once again sends you into a blank
“cute, so - let’s see what you’ll be dressing me up in huh?”
he leans over and you flounder as you flip to the page with the outfit you’ve chosen to create for your final
it’s inspired by 80s punk and glam - rhinestones, spikes, rainbows 
shinwon’s eyes light up when he sees it and he looks at you with a giant smile
“where have you been all my life - this is totally my style!”
i know,,,,,i made it thinking about you,,,,,,,,,,,
is what you want to say - but you just stutter over your words instead
“o-oh, im glad you like it,,,”
he nudges at your elbow and you think electricity rides up your spine
“can’t wait to wear it! by the way-”
he moves his body, gracefully around the table so he’s standing beside you now
it makes everything else melt away as he leans in closer to your face with his own
“don’t listen to what people say about me - and trust me, ok?”
it’s,,,, cryptic - and in the moment you had no clue what he was talking about - but he’s your muse
and he’s inches too close to you 
so really - it goes over your head as you nod with moonstruck stars in your eyes
shinwon says his goodbyes and tells you to text him when you want to do measurements
you only realize after he’s gone that,,,,,,,,,,you don’t have his number 
so you approach an upperclassmen who usually works with him and politely ask if she might have it
she stops what she’s doing and sighs
“you really picked shinwon for your final project - you’re crazy!”
you look around - not sure if she’s really talking to you - until she huffs
“this is the final - you can’t rely on someone like him!”
someone like him?
“wh-why not, he’s done other shows?”
she shakes her head
“other shows aren’t the final project. he might just not show up on the day or he might get the clothes dirty. he’s fun when there are no consequences but you know this is worth fifty percent of our grade right?”
you’re left sort of speechless and she just mutters that she pities you as she scribbles down the number in your sketchbook and hands it back to you
you turn and realize other students are eyeing you from their station
a lot of them are already doing measurements on their models, while yours 
well shinwon just left
you hadn’t stopped him - he just said he had to go
you feel something twist in your stomach but you ignore it
he had said it right - not to listen, and to trust him
the first couple of weeks go by,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, perfectly
you finally suck it up after typing and deleting a text to shinwon about measurements
spending nearly half a day trying to come up with a casual and cool way of asking 
and all you get in response is a misspelled “yeha” from him when you make a date and time
you think it’s goofy and cute
and shinwon does show up 
charming, joking, making you embarrassed and happy all in the same breath as you take his measurements
wiggling his eyebrows when you ask him to take his shirt off for the chest measurement 
excitedly rambling about this underground show he’s seeing on the weekend 
mind you - you and him haven’t ever had a conversation before this
shinwon just naturally opens up - having no problem doing the talking as you either 1) stare at him like a puppy or 2) nod enthusiastically in agreement to whatever he’s saying
you’re pretty sure he can tell how much you admire him and with anyone else you’d be dead from the shyness
but with him it’s like,,,,,,,,,it’s like he’s a celebrity to you 
so it’s not that bad to be so so so enamored 
his flirting doesn’t come off as anything romantic either, just part of his persona
and despite those doubts from other students
“he could just now show up” “he isn’t super reliable” “he might go to a party and just forget in the morning to show up!”
it doesn’t happen - when you need him, shinwon is there
and it’s like a dream come true - watching your outfits slowly come to life on his perfect figure
there is a hiccup at some point
shinwon agrees to meet you on a thursday evening for some help - you had initially been shy about asking him to come and look at fabrics with you
you don’t really ask models for that kind of advice
but when you’d mentioned - he’d been the one to get all giddy at the thought
and, with your heart over the moon, you waited outside the fashion building
for two hours
your phone was barren of any texts - any calls 
and even though it hit 10 pm and the store was closed - you stuck it around for a little while
but he ,,,,,,,,,, didn’t show up
it’s fine! he probably had to cram for an exam or something - he seems like the type to push studying to the last minute
you make up the excuse and nod to yourself, happy with the conclusion you’ve drawn
pushing down any doubt that might have tried to bubble up
and it’s just a hiccup - because shinwon bumps into you three days later and snaps his fingers 
“AH! we were supposed to go shopping right? i totally forgot! please forgive me! shinwon has been a bad boy!”
he clasps his hands together and pouts and you laugh, telling him it’s totally fine
yuto and jinho who are beside him look confused and so shinwon introduces you as you shyly hand over your sketchbook 
because shinwon insists you show his friends your outfit planned
“wow, you’re so talented - these look so much like shinwon.”
yuto compliments, flipping to some of the old drawings you had of shinwon
you forgot about them and try to stutter out an excuse but shinwon is already sticking his nose between the pages with wonder
“woah! you’ve drawn me so much!”
you clasp your hands together - awkward and shy 
jinho takes note of the way you can’t help but smile as shinwon continues to muse about how much he likes your drawings
and when you finally get your sketchbook back - shinwon promises he will never forget when you ask him to do something again
he does this by taking your hands in his own and giving them a squeeze
you’re so happy you can’t even speak and again,,,,,,,,,,,,jinho takes note of that
as you scurry past them - realizing you’re late for class now, he turns to shinwon with a tilt of his head
“they seem really sweet. are you sure you’re being nice to them?”
shinwon rolls his eyes
“im always nice”
“no - you did forget to go shopping with them.”
shinwon puffs out his chest with a whine
“because i woke up on the roof at like 5pm - i didn’t remember my own name hyung. now stop grilling me about it - they weren’t mad and so why are you?”
jinho pulls his lips back into a tight line - yuto breaks the tension with a question about lunch and shinwon ignores the side glances jinho still throws his way
you really aren’t mad, just like shinwon said
because he shows up when you ask him to for some extra measurements and test runs on the runway 
he’s the same silly, weird, and lovely boy as usual 
playing with the sleeves of the half-finished top piece you’re working on -
showing you the new candy bracelet he got 
putting his arm around you when he leans over to look at your new sketches
knowing damn well your head goes spinning
“you’re cute when you get all nervous - do you really think im that handsome?”
he makes the joke again and you try to answer but all you can squeak out is “yes?”
he even offers to make it up to you for not showing up - the offer is to go to mcdonalds but it’s still sweet - and you assure him it’s fine, you’re not angry - not at all
but ,,,,,,,, the happiness of those moments with him dulls as more and more hiccups begin to happen
he texts you that he can’t make it to the practice runway - he’s sick
you understand
then he doesn’t text you or tell you anything on the next one - you don’t have your model and all the students shake their head with pity at you
the final date approaches faster
and shinwon,,,,,,,,,,,,,goes ghost
you don’t want to be that person and over text him - but you have to, this is about your grade
suddenly the worries you’d been told about in the beginning of all this start coming true
maybe he got super sick - i should ask his friends, but i don’t know them that well - did i do something wrong?
you don’t get it - every day without word from him is another day closer to the final runway
it stresses you out and you notice the acne coming in - the refusal to eat because it makes your stomach sick 
you’re running across campus because you’ve pulled another allnighter working on your designs and fell asleep on accident
when you slam right into someones chest
your books go flying, the yogurt you had bought falls and explodes somewhere behind you
and when you look up you see ------- what was his name ------ jinho?
“oh gosh, im so sorry”
you mutter, leaning down to get your things
jinho realizes you’re scrambling and he helps you - for which you bow over ten times and apologize again for bothering him
but before you continue on your run he asks you, much to your shock
“have you seen shinwon?”
your face pales and you can’t move forward even though you know class has started
you shake your head slowly and jinho lets out a sigh
“how long has it been?”
“maybe two weeks....”
“ah. ill talk to him.”
you perk up - and then just as instantly your shoulders sag - you shouldn’t be so excited over someone whose been ignoring you for no apparent reason
“no it’s ok-”
“isn’t he supposed to be helping you with your project. it’s not ok - he’s being a brat.”
you don’t want to argue because jinho is older and closer to shinwon, but you also don’t want it to seem like you’re begging for his help
“please,,,,,just ask him if i did something wrong?”
you look into jinho’s eyes and it clicks for him
“you like shinwon don’t you?”
your books fall out of your hands again and this time it’s not because you’ve been knocked over
you just don’t know how to answer the sudden question - because you really,,,,,,,,,,,,don’t know
“he’s my muse.”
you start
“and im just,,,,,,,i just don’t want to lose that.”
jinho leans down to help with your books again, he gives you one last look before turning and heading toward the dorms
you don’t even bother getting to class anymore - you just drag yourself to the workrooms in the fashion department and sit beside your final project
it looks much less extravagant on the mannequin then it does on shinwon
and when you open your sketchbook it flips to one of your first drawings you ever did of him
it hurts to think about him.....not even because of my grades......but because........
you shake your head and lay it down on the table
no, you always have to remember what you say. you’re a small tiny star - that boys a milkyway.
jinho finds shinwon in the bathroom of the dorm, the ramones are blasting from his phone and he’s got his hands covered in black hair dye
jumping when he sees his older friend, shinwon grumbles that jinho should at least knock 
but jinho crosses his arms, stern gaze unwavering on shinwon
“why are you ignoring that sweet fashion major who obviously idolizes you?”
“im not ignoring them - they’re ignoring me.”
shinwon points a finger
“and no one ignores me, you know this.”
he turns to look at himself in the mirror - making a face as the old orange goes back to his natural thick black
jinho cocks an eyebrow
“really? i just bumped into them and the poor kid looks like a mess.”
“are you saying im lying - look at my phone!”
jinho picks it up from where it’s charging on the bathroom sink 
“this isn’t your phone........ is it new?”
“yeah - my last gig gave it to me along with some free clothes, my old ones on my desk but im using this one now”
he scrolls through the texts messages, gagging at some of them, and he finds what he can only assume is your number
it doesn’t have your name - all it says is 
“cutest fashion major ive met in a hot minute”
jinho opens the messages and ,,,,,, it’s true - shinwon has sent an abundance of texts to you but ,,,,,,, none of them are answered
it takes three minutes for jinho to figure out what’s going on
he picks up shinwon’s old phone - find your contact (saved with the same corny name) and opens it
shinwon typed your number in..................wrong
and in his old phone are the messages from you that going unanswered
jinho groans
“ko shinwon - you’re an idiot.”
shinwon pokes his head out of the bathroom - “i know that, but what did i do this time?”
you pick your head up after what seems like hours - drool embarrassingly on the edge of the workroom table
did i fall asleep here? guess i missed more than one class.......
you stretch and look down at your sketchbook with tired eyes
“oh you’re awake?”
you jump at the sound of the voice and nearly fall out of your chair when you see shinwon sitting across from you
he’s,,,,,,,,,he’s got black hair now - and he’s not wearing his usual outrageously expensive outfits
he’s just got a flannel over some simple jeans
the sleeves are rolled up and you see those candy bracelets he loves making, the silver rings you’ve sketched on his hands a million times over
“sh-shinwon?”
“wanna hear something hilarious?”
he pulls his phone out and grins
“i was texting the wrong number for a whole two weeks - the person must think im insane! well,,,,,,,,they wouldn’t be wrong.”
you don’t understand - you look down at the screen and see the  contact name
“cutest fashion major-”
“ah ah ah don’t look at that - look at the texts.”
he waves his hand and you read them one by one
“hey - do you need me for measurements? you know my body is always ready!” “hey hey hey” “doesn’t a designer need their model?” “are you mad at me? did i do something dumb when i was drunk and i dont remember?” “heeeeeeeelllllllllloooooooo?” “ill make it up to you~ shinwon was a bad boy wasn’t he?” “hey, is everything alright?”
you still don’t really understand - you look up and shinwon is resting his cheek on his palm
“i got a new phone which is why i wasnt getting your texts and you weren’t getting mine.”
something that feels better then relief washes over you
“o-oh, i thought you just ,,,,,,,,, you just didn’t want to help me anymore?”
shinwon makes a dramatic noise and jumps up from his seat - pointing at the outfit on the mannequin
“and miss out on wearing THAT masterpiece, never!”
he rounds the table
“it’s the best design ive ever seen - from the people here and from the magazine shoots ive done.”
he looks at you and for the first time they’re not those crazy, sparkling with mischief eyes
they’re almost,,,,,,,,,,,,soft
“i really love it. i won’t let you down.”
suddenly the stress and the tiredness that had hung over you seems to vanish
you get up to and smile up at him 
“well then - i should finish it quick. i won’t let you down either!”
shinwon grins and when he reaches over to ruffle your hair like he’s done many times before
it’s like gravity refuses to let him - instead all the wires in his brain connect and he puts his hand on your shoulder gently
tugging you into his chest and into a hug
he smells like ,,,,,,,, fresh laundry and there’s the residual lingering from the hair dye
but there’s also the smell of his skin and the warmth of his tall frame
it sends an earthquake through you - but it makes you feel safe too 
and shinwon,,,,,,,,,,,,shinwon can’t believe that there’s someone on this earth who fits so perfectly into his arms
for the first time in...............ever ...........shinwon pulls away and misses the feeling instantly
he doesn’t show it - he starts blabbering to forget the mess starting up in his brain
and you are content, as always, to go along with him
shinwon feels like something has taken him over when he offers to walk you to your dorm and you think nothing of it
waving goodbye as you go inside and some students pass by shinwon in awe
ko shinwon,,,,,,,,walked someone home? and is staring at the spot they just stood in with - is that - is that -?
this time shinwon keeps to his promise - actually he probably goes up and beyond that
he even starts asking if he can come over and see your progress
sitting beside you as you work - much to the shock of everyone else
because,,,,,,,, shinwon is never one to sit still
he’s there for measurements, the show, and then he’s out
doing whatever it is he does on campus
someone asks you about it - but you just go “he wanted to come!”
it doesn’t seem all that remarkable to you - you’re just happy to see he’s proven everyone who doubted and didn’t pick him wrong
you start to talk more too, you get excited as the final project comes to a close and the day of the fashion show approaches
you explain to shinwon the colors you chose, the fabrics, the inspo 
and he stares at you in wonder this time
but you just can’t wait to see him under the lights - glittering like the beautiful model he is
on the day of the show - you’re excited to see your friends and even some of shinwon’s show up 
and as you get ready behind the stage - tailoring the pieces to sit just perfect on shinwon 
he watches your fingers work and your concentration and you apologize when you lean in to apply some makeup to his eyes
but he just welcomes it - your touch which was just like everyone elses when this started
feels like heaven all of a sudden
you hear your professor call out the order for the models - shinwon is last and it makes you nervous but you’re also happy because
this outfit is showstopper - it’s shinwon to a T 
and it deserves to be the best, so it should be saved for last
you fix one of the lapels and make sure shinwon’s accessories are in order before you take his hands in yours
you look into his eyes - it’s dark behind the curtains but shinwon sees you clear as day
“thank you - you’re the only person who could wear what i’ve made. shinwon, you’re my muse.”
you breathe as you say the word - the word you’ve wanted to say for so long now
“im your muse?”
“yes, im honored to make this outfit for you. and im so happy you worked with me. i couldn’t have done it without you. you look so beautiful-”
shinwon can’t stop what comes over him 
it’s not stupid lust like it usually is with him - it’s another worldly force this time
it’s what they sing about in all those love songs - all those songs about wanting to be connected to someone 
“no - you look beautiful.”
he presses his lips to yours before you can finish your sentence
and his name is called out for the order
he rushes to the line and you 
you are frozen - unsure of what just happened
am in a movie? did shinwon just ,,,,,,,,,,,, kiss me?
you can’t even process it - one of your classmates comes and tugs you toward the audience
you look over your shoulder and shinwon is staring at you from the line
oh my god - i think shinwon just kissed me for real.
the fashion show is a haze - you want to pay attention, but you keep touching your lips 
it’s not until the shinwon steps out into the limelight and struts with everything he’s got 
flaunting your design, making it move and sparkle just like you had seen in your vision
the crowd all let out a wave of oohs~ and the professors who are judging seem to be impressed
and when he makes his way to the turn - he spots you - the background music seems to stop 
the people seem to disappear
he was fucking right - you are beautiful
you get rave reviews on your outfit - people flock to you after the show to ask about it 
you want to answer questions and thank everyone - but you are looking for him
you’re looking for shinwon
who is in turn, looking for you - ignoring the people who try to get in his way
he pulls you out from the conversation - waving off the complaints of others 
and tugs you through the crowded stage until you guys are alone - stuffed into a corner of costume racks and abandoned makeup stations
“shinwon why did you-”
“am i just your muse? am i just someone you idolize - or do you - do you -”
he has never struggled this much in his life
you’re looking at him with such purity that it feels overwhelming as he puts his hands on your face and kisses you again
you melt into it and he eats it up - until you’re caught by stagehands who usher you annoyingly back out into the mess of people
jinho, yuto, hongseok and hui who came to see shinwon spot you guys and jinho’s eyes avert right to your hand - in shinwon’s
he smiles - he knew all along
because yes, you looked at shinwon like he was the only man in the world but 
jinho had never seen shinwon text someone seven times in a row
and he sure as hell had never seen shinwon reject an oncoming hookup like he had for the past couple of weeks
“so - something you want to tell us?” 
hongseok asks, and hui looks at you and then at shinwon
shinwon shrugs
“nah not really, just that ,,,,,,,,,,, well,,,,,,,,,,,”
he shakes your hands a little and you go red
“looks like ko shinwon is off the market! sorry ladies and gentlemen - i think ive found,,,,,,,,,,,,what’s a word for it,,,,,,,,,,,,,, my muse?”
so dating shinwon,,,,,,,,,is like a whole new world for you
you were always so sure you’d be a secret admirer - at most someone who got to work with him 
but now you were like ,,,,,,, you were his significant other ,,,,,,,,,,
you were basically like an overnight star
you showed up the next morning after the fashion show and everyone was just like
“YOU LOCKED DOWN SHINWON? KO SHINWON? HOW? WAS IT MAGIC?”
shinwon is so dramatic you know he opened up his contacts and deleted nearly everyone he’d ever fooled around with and you’re like
that’s not necessary and he’s like
“once im committed im committed. i should delete hui’s number too i think he has a crush on me”
hui in his composition class: my shinwon senses are telling me im being clowned 
no one knew,,,,,,,shinwon could love someone so hard
for most of his life he’s taken everything happy-go-lucky, he’s always just lived by the flow
but now he’s like ,,,,,,,,,, he’s like a changed person
you are the only thing he seems to put real effort into 
which you actually know isn’t true, shinwon takes modeling seriously and although his studying is slacking
you are there to encourage him 
because jinho and hongseok poking at him for never doing his homework is not going to get shinwon a degree
so you offer to help him study and your first dates consist on you trying to get him from a D to at least a C+ in most of his classes
he probably doesn’t even know how to properly use excel so you’re like babe let me 
as you date him, you realize that the uniqueness you fell for in the first place stays true with shinwon
there’s so much more to him - like his musical talents and his secret nerdiness
and also the anxiety that sometimes spikes in his throat and that he plays off but that now,,,,,,,,,now he has someone who’ll take these thing seriously
you can see it - when he can’t figure out his schoolwork or when a gig gets canceled on him
the furrow of his brow - the silliness gone from his face and in the beginning he tries to keep up appearances
but you just pull his long body down to yours and you tell him that nothing in this world is going to stop him from being successful
“you were born to shine, shinwon. it’s why i saw you for a second and never forgot”
“babe.............omg you had a crush on me from first sight?”
“im trying to be serious ko shinwon”
him wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you in closer “i know but like oooo a crush on me hehe you’re so cute”
you: rolling your eyes but also it’s true,,,,,,kinda
he gives you a tour of the infamous madhouse dorm - stock full of vinyls, his guitar, and brand name clothes on the floor
you’re kinda like “ooo this is cute” picking up a sweater off the floor and he’s like that’s versace i think?
you: and it’s on the floor
shinwon, shrugging: i ran out of hangers
oh my god shopping for anything with shinwon is a trip he somehow always tries to buy something that’s shiny and not useful and you’re like hey hey no 
you become his impulse control - like at least 75% of it. the other 25% is jinho yelling at him over the phone
he’s such a cutie pie he loves making those candy bracelets with little rainbow charms and he makes some for you with your favorite song lyrics
which he hums as he puts on your wrist
and you promise not to take it off - which shinwon is more proud about then he should be
gives you nose kisses a lot - ruffles your hair a lot - asks you to sit on his lap and you’re like no we’re in public 
loves it when you sit behind him and put your hands in his hair as he flips through the tv channels or plays a video game
won’t admit how much it kinda turns him on when you tug it - but you learn 
you once are making out and shinwon keeps trying to tug at your shirt and you’re just like “listen to me shinwon, stop rushing me.” and oooooooooh my gooooooooooood
he thinks he sees stars
you most of the time: his precious angel who he can make all blushy with just some cheesy words
you also: bosses him around and points out his bullshit (which he is very into)
you and shinwon probably rock halloween parties - even though you’re not to big on the whole scene - you make the costumes and they’re killer and shinwon is just like
“they made this. for me. only me. only i get to wear the clothes they made”
complains about how when you’re a rich famous designer everyone else is gonna get to wear your masterpieces
makes you promise you’ll make exclusive outfits just for him
he does the MOST embarrassing thing ever
he marches into the fashion dept workroom one afternoon and he’s like “everyone, psa: when im a model i want to by chosen by ONE person and ONE person only - you know who!”
he winks your way and the whole room (including you) groans
like no one was planning on it anyway shinwon - he just lives for theatrics doesn’t he
his modeling gigs usually last a long time and go late into the night and he doesn’t expect you to stay up or anything
maybe send a text and a photo or whatever
but when he comes back to the dorms and you’re waiting in his bed wearing one of his led zepplin tshirts he just 
he just gets all giddy - can’t keep his hands to his damn self
but also shinwon is a bad texter to everyone 
but you
you get constant updates and constant photos which are demanded to become your phone background now
hongseok told you to change it to hui as a joke once but you guys were both like 
no,,,,,,,shinwon might actually cry 
jinho basically adores you because you actually do your work and try to help improve shinwon 
but he’s also big brother mode where he’s like shinwon you better not screw this up or i will end you :) 
yuto silently agrees - so does basically everyone else
jealous shinwon is ,,,,,,, like a yappy baby puppy
wooseok visits campus - a younger friend of the groups and he doesn’t know you’re dating shinwon
but he thinks you’re SOOOOOOO cute and tells everyone and shinwon just goes huffy like
“no. mine.” and wooseok is like oh ok- 
shinwon: “see my phone wallpaper - it’s us kissing. see these sneakers - it was a gift from them on our anniversary - see this bracelet on their wrist? i made it and -”
everyone: OK SHUT UP
you finished your old sketchbook and you wanted to throw it out - but shinwon salvaged it and sometimes he opens it and traces the sketches you did of him
and he just,,,,,,,,,,feels so good knowing you’ve loved him for a while - and he thought he’d never have something so real and powerful 
you once jokingly tell shinwon as you’re sitting cross-legged across from him in the park that you used to say you were a tiny star and he was a milkyway
and he just blinks and shakes his head
“no - if im a milkyway, you’re my entire galaxy.” 
and then hung his head because OK CORNY but it’s true,,,,,,it’s so true
shinwon is always opening up the world for you - from music to art to whatever 
he’s still your muse - even if he’s your boyfriend
but now instead of having to see him from all these miles away - like he’s some untouchable force
he’s sitting beside you
strumming on his guitar, hair messy and only an arms length away
you lean over and kiss his neck and he chuckles as he continues to play and you continue to sketch
only to realize some things never change
the page full of shinwon, and his heart is full of you ~
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tangerinegod ¡ 4 years
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Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿
hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!
i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!
the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 
also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!
another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 
if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 
these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:
- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?
I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 
- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?
kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 
- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?
100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!
- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?
i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 
i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  
- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?
i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 
sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!
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bookofsul ¡ 7 years
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So this is probably really odd to ask but whatever. I got accepted into an art school and i've been going there since 4 weeks. So far so good. But i get really bad anxiety if i am not able to do somethig right/ as good as anyone else :/ of course im jealous if someone is better than me but i thik i could handle that (if it'd JUST that) i have anxiety abt almost anything and it really depresses me when i feel like im not good in enough in sth i normally love doning :( So.. do you have any advice?
Yes I do. Stop listening to the BS that comes from the part of your genes that keeps you rather in ‘shitty but safe’ stagnation than let you fail. (They are mean and don’t consider winning!)
In short, don’t stress too much on it, things will be just fine as long as you keep going! A bit longer below the cut.
My art school career started with “I was the second to last accepted” to high school. I knew that I could draw ‘better’ than the other kids in my elementary school class simply because I had an interest and I was drawing almost every day, but it still put me on the end of the scale in an open competition. When I got in I felt like I hit the jackpot and I will be surrounded with similar minded folks and how awesome it will be. The truth is, I had a couple of friends and the others I can’t even remember the name of but things were great. Until you start to struggle for whatever reason, it’s more often than not that you’ll get a mean comment on ‘how bad x is on your drawing’. And from those friends, that hurt. It’s not the constructive criticism kind of deal, but the one that is aimed to break down your self confidence and faith in yourself in order to make themselves feel better. After a while I figured that I’m not interested in their opinion, so I politely asked them not to give me feedback, since I’m my worst critic. I knew that some of them were in my level or above, but that just put me into a competitive mindset that I can do better. And so I did. Talent is nothing but hard work. When you think that other people’s work is intimidating, then you are getting a mental block via your genes that I have described above. But if you keep trying, you can get to awesomeness! 
After high school (all of those above) I went to an other art based institute to become a teacher whom is able to instruct and communicate trough their thoughts due to the fact that our teacher was an artist who was an egotistic asshole, forcing his shit on people without letting you develop. I thought that in the university it will be different, but guess what, all the people there were the same kind of deal. I feel like I learned nothing aside of the teaching part. They assigned me to do things I was not interested in at all and trying to crush my beliefs that “digital art is no true art and has no value”. We got homework which you could interpret as you liked, and let me tell you, they did freak me out. I’m not saying that you don’t need to do things you don’t like, but the amount is very questionable and opinionated. I hated drawing. It was a forced thing and I saw that the output I was doing was crap because I couldn’t even motivate myself to care. It was still good enough to keep a B+ average, and where I felt like I’m not learning, I stopped trying to challenge myself to try being better. I usually had at least one figure whom I wanted to impress, and I put all my creative efforts into that particular class. The rest I kinda “survived”.
And, let me tell you a story related specifically to your problem. I had a class where we had to “solve painter’s problems”. Whatever the fuck that meant. We had to paint a figure and environment in the mandatory classes which was utterly boring (same 60yo lady over the 5 years I had there). Same pose, same lights, I could paint it from my memory from various angles. it was some new level of boring. But we had this “solve a painter’s problem” deal and I had no fucking idea what did the teacher meant and the explanations made NO SENSE to me or my friend. The others started bringing in sketches and loose works to ask the teacher’s opinion, and they were so far away from anything I’d call art that I started freaking out. I can’t do this shit. I can’t purposely, by force, paint metaphysical images by the number of 30 mini (A6), 15 small (A4) 10 medium (A3) and 4 large (A2) by the end of the semester. I had two weeks left, and I had NO IDEA what the hell to do. I was very frustrated, I wanted to quit, I wanted to fuck it all, because everyone else’s modern junk was looking so abstract and I CANNOT do that! I was sitting over the canvas and out of sheer frustration I started hammering it with random colors I had on my brush (it was rather small, like the back of a pencil), and I was crying and I was ready to give up. And from beyond my tears, the images looked kind of…Interesting. So I blew my nose and I kept doing this, first trying to make a shape or a form and afterwards not even giving a damn. I just had to make something and fuck me if it’s not going to be good enough. I tried my best. If it’s not enough, it’s just ONE person’s opinion anyway from 6 billion so WHY should I CARE. (Yes, even if they are professionals or teachers or whatever)So I bring in the images and I’m so nervous I nearly pass out. Long story short the teacher nearly passed out too, but from euphoria, how amazing my shit was. He was legit pissed that my works from the class were medicore but THOSE WERE SO GOOD IT WAS PREPOSTEROUS. I got an A, and my friend who watched from the door nearly pissed herself from trying not to laugh. (she also asked me to bring some to an other class to an other teacher and that guy also got his mind blown).
Now some can say that I had to get to a mindset that made me do this (and we should listen to the advices blaady bladyy blaaa). But frankly, I don’t want to be stressed about creating art, I want to enjoy it. People don’t like it? Why should I care as long as I’m having fun and developing to my liking? Art supposed to be self expression, not forced upon anyone by any means. When I make commissions, I’m trying to please ONE person, and that’s the commissioner. If anyone else is happy too, that’s a bonus. My best art pieces were gifts, because I wanted to give with them, and they were driven by love/joy/unicorn fart rather than pressure. Love makes everything better!
You’ll never be able to please everyone. It’s impossible. Start with believing in yourself and look for the themes/materials that MAKE YOU HAPPY. That make you grow and leaves you feeling productive. If it’s drawing, painting, writing, making music, cooking food, sewing, fixing up shit, BRINGING OUT THE TRASH, whatever floats your boat. Aim for the little things that make you happy. There is no point to compare yourself to others, and trust me when I say this, the more your skill grows the less intimidating they will be, because you’ll have the eyes to see the flaws that everyone does. The images we like the most are made with little accidents. If you feel like crap about your art, listen some Bob Ross and follow his work. Surround yourself with the material that makes you feel good, or things you want to aim for. If you have a particular picture you think it’s just the best shit, put it to your desktop til you find something that is even more awesome. Your eyes will remember the details that you can recall any time. Out of your comfort zone? DO NOT TAKE IT TOO SERIOUS. I mean it’s obviously gonna be crap in the first dozen times. But You’ll get there, just keep going, and don’t give up! Be your own worst critiq and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your work. You have to accept the fact that you won’t make a masterpiece with every single stroke you make, and that’s fine. Aim for perfection, but don’t be a perfectionist.
My personal mantra is: “I cannot please everyone with my work, but I do my best anyway, and my aim is personal growth trough things that make me happy.”I’m honestly very honored that you people think my opinion is worth asking for. The fun fact is that my most common advice is “don’t give a shit about other people’s opinion”. :’D No, ofc you should care a bit, but only just an itty bitty tiiny wiiny bit. As long as you stay happy!
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wolfbunsart ¡ 7 years
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Im gonna ramble on for a bit, so gonna put this under a Read More.
TL/DR: I find it real hard to find any time to draw recently, and Id like to apologize to all the people who support me, either through social media, Patreon or commissions, for not putting out enough content. Ill try to change that, and put out more furry stuff on your timelines and dashes.
I have not been putting out as enough content as I would like to. That wouldnt usually matter to most people, “oh ill just draw when i get the chance”, “well at least its just a hobby so it doesnt matter if i dont do it” and all that.
However, now I feel a certain sense of responsibility. Earlier this year I launched my Patreon so that if people wanted to support me with any ammount they wanted each month, they could, while I could repay their kindness with temporarily exclusive art. I also made it so that it would keep me motivated to keep drawing more, specially by making polls for patreon supporters for getting feedback on who or what should I draw next. 
Thats why I didnt put any specific reward tier for it other than “$1 a month for all exclusive content”, so that if anyone wanted to pitch in they could. I considered making more tiers further down the line once I got used to working on it or enough people seemed interested. However things started going downwards from there.
I launched my Patreon on January, a few weeks before the end of winter break. I fooled myself thinking Id have enough time to put out rewards on a decent schedule because the very first picture I did, I did in one night. I was probably just motivated cause I had been drawing a lot around that time, but I did it quickly, and in my opinion it was very good, so its not like I was sacrificing quality over doing it quickly. So I thought “hell yeah I can do this” and launched the Patreon.
However I eventually had to go back to school. Im a college student, and Im getting close to finishing my way through college (currently on my 8th out of 9 semesters), which means I keep getting busier and busier doing school work, attending classes, working on projects, and everything in between. Add all that to the housework I gotta do in the room I rent, plus all the traveling I have to do when visiting my parents, and that leaves me with almost no time for art.
Now you may think “ok but you gotta have SOME free time. Yes, but after all the stress and all the stuff I have to deal with its really hard to just come home and be like “now I feel like I could draw for several hours!”. Most of the time I just nap because Im so physically or emotionally exhausted, or just take some time to play videogames to de-stress. Heck, even during spring break I was like “hell yeah Im gonna have a full week to get caught up on my art” and my computer started having issues that i spent more than half of the week fixing.
So I feel like Im letting my Patreons down. Having long periods without time to draw was always a possibility I considered, but since its pretty much “donate what you want” I didnt worry too much about it, cause its not like Im asking for $10 out of everyone and not delivering on anything. However since the Patreon had enough success I was really happy with all the support, Id just check Patreon all the time and be amazed and happy at how much people wanted to support me for drawing dumb hunky animals.
That all changed though. Because Im not putting out art, people have been removing their pledges. Which is like, SUPER undestandable. Youre not gonna pay me for not doing anything. But like, its been so many, it really kicks off my anxiety. Now I cant check Patreon unless I have to, because doing so makes me legitimately super anxious.
The thing is its not only Patreon. Ive been taking sketchmmissions, which means Ive had some long overdue things to draw for people, and I feel a bit of a “need” to put out Shark Dude and other free content as well. Heck, most of the time I just look at other peoples art and I feel really disappointed that I havent had time to draw and it makes me pretty sad. 
Even when I do have free time for art, its a bit of a struggle: I have to choose what to prioritize, do I draw something for the Patreon cause I had no rewards this month? Or do I draw something for the commissioner who is paying more for just the one picture? Or do I draw something quick and free, that most people will enjoy, but also Im not working on the things that people actually give me money for?
So, this is an official apology to everyone.
To my Patreons, Im so sorry if Ive made you feel like youre wasting your money. I gotta find some way to fix up a schedule, or change the way of how I deal with the rewards. Maybe post more sketches instead of just finished pictures? Do the Image Pack thing? I dunno, Ill figure something out.
To my Commissioners, Ill get to your commissions as soon as I can, and Ill try to deliver something worth your wait. For anyone who wants to commission me in the future though, I might cut down on opening commissions until I can have more free time. Like, only open them until summer break and that kind of stuff. I originally wanted to do at LEAST 5 sketchmmissions a month this year, but boy that aint happening huh.
To everyone else, who may support me with retweets, reblogs, sharing, likes, comments, replies, and everything in between, Ill try to get more content done in general. Commissions is a thing you guys can enjoy when Im done with that, but patreon exclusives are different. I wanted to share Patreon stuff as soon as like 2 months after but since Im not making enough rewards I wanna keep them exclusive for a bit longer to justify the lack of exclusives. Ill try to make more Shark Dude stuff as well too.
But above all of that, to every one of you: Thank you, for putting up with me, and enjoying my art.
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Insurance Question 16 year old?
"Insurance Question 16 year old?
I am a 16 year old boy, I just got my license. What I have to drive is a 2011 Mustang GT 5.0 liter V8, 2 wheel Drive. The price on the car is $32,565. If both my parents and I are insured on the car, how much should my own personal payment be for 1 month with a normal plan (not collision). My parents have never had an accident and are 40 and 36 years old. If I cannot get an exact quote can someone please tell me about how much the car would be a month to insure? Thanks very much. ***I have also completed a drivers education course that should lower my insurance 10-15%.
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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If my insurance pays off what i owe on my car would it be on my name?
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What is the cheapest 7 seater car to insure for a new driver?
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Do you get your credit checked for car insurance quotes?
Do you get your credit checked for car insurance quotes?
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What is the cheapest insurance company to switch to for a descent price after a DUI?
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How much is motorcycle insurance in Utah?
I am just wondering because I am 17, and I need to get to and back from work. Just give me a rough estimate please. That's all I need to know... Don't tell me to check with my family's insurance because it is too much work when I can just come on here and get an estimate to see if it is in my price range. Thanks ahead of time! I am planning on driving an old street legal dirt bike granted it isn't too pricey.""
Best insurance companies for 17 year old passed my test?
ok ive pased my test and i gettin a car this week and i need some insurance on the car obviiously lol, well basically whats the cheapest car insurance all you 17 year old have and who is it with, please :)""
Were can i get Insurance for the Aprilia rs125 at age 17?
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Insurance Question 16 year old?
I am a 16 year old boy, I just got my license. What I have to drive is a 2011 Mustang GT 5.0 liter V8, 2 wheel Drive. The price on the car is $32,565. If both my parents and I are insured on the car, how much should my own personal payment be for 1 month with a normal plan (not collision). My parents have never had an accident and are 40 and 36 years old. If I cannot get an exact quote can someone please tell me about how much the car would be a month to insure? Thanks very much. ***I have also completed a drivers education course that should lower my insurance 10-15%.
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car insurance for nj drivers
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Should I go through my car insurance company or not?
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Car insurance?
Is insurance cheaper on older cars?
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Insurance Question 16 year old?
I am a 16 year old boy, I just got my license. What I have to drive is a 2011 Mustang GT 5.0 liter V8, 2 wheel Drive. The price on the car is $32,565. If both my parents and I are insured on the car, how much should my own personal payment be for 1 month with a normal plan (not collision). My parents have never had an accident and are 40 and 36 years old. If I cannot get an exact quote can someone please tell me about how much the car would be a month to insure? Thanks very much. ***I have also completed a drivers education course that should lower my insurance 10-15%.
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Teenage Boy Car Insurance.?
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How much would insurance be for a 16 year old in GA?
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How much would Liability cost on my car?
Im 16 and i just got my license. Me and my dad are gonna go look at a car tomorrow. its a 1999 mitsubishi eclipse GS with 130,000 miles. take in to consideration all of the basic things of a teenager nothing special just an average kid how much would liability in wisconsin cost? all my friends say they pay around 65 a month but than i went to some insurance website and it said some crazy thing like 850 a month... how much for an average 16 year old kid am i gonna pay monthly for liability?""
Can someone help me with me Car Insurance?
I am a 17 year old that has just passed her driving test, I have my heart set on a Honda civic and was wondering how much insurance group 4 costs roughly??""
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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-site-18-year-old-carl-thompson"
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warmau ¡ 6 years
Text
{Special} College!AU IU
this was commissioned! | check out my other college!aus here *ill be addressing iu as jieun in this au
major: literature | concentration: publishing 
minor: music composition 
sports: n/a
clubs: head of the book review club on campus, part of several social justice groups, volunteers at a children’s shelter on the weekends
jieun is probably the most well respected senior in the literature department,,,
and it half has to do with the fact that she’s so naturally talented - born with this amazing ability to articulate critique and edit like a goddamn machine
but the other half is her work-ethic, her organized and level headed “never give up!” attitude
and even though she doesn’t indulge much in appearances, it’s hard to not say that she’s also breathtakingly beautiful
with this aura of something almost,,,regal,,, in her warm, welcoming brown eyes
dashing from one class to the other, backpack covered in pins with slogans supporting women’s rights and anti-capitalist agends
she’s got her hair up in a messy bun, a pen sticks out from behind her ear
and in just simple jeans, a cute t-shirt - sometimes her glasses on or stuck at the bottom of her bag
she still manages to be considered a campus goddess 
but she brushes that off, what matters to her is her major - her future, bright career in publishing
her participation in marches, rallies, - always giving up her free time to volunteer
because jieun knows what it’s like to have very little - even sometimes nothing
and that to beat her way up to the top she has to work for it - and be selfless 
her friends can barely ever pull her out to just hangout
jieun: “if i have time on my hands, i cant spend it sitting in a cafe giggling over tv shows or idols - i need to go out and help someone!”
suzy: “ok wonder woman sit down and have some damn salad with me, then you can fly off to save the world, ok?”
even with her strong will and humility, jieun still has super cute little quirks about her
she’s not the most graceful person when it comes to doing physical things,,, so if she’s running somewhere it is common to see her trip
she’s on several occasions gotten lost in the city and had to text people to google where she is LOL
her guitar string was once untuned and she didn’t even notice, striking a cord that could be heard through her entire dorm
 the RA on her floor is always like “jieun, someone told me you left your backpack in the commons again?”
sometimes she doesn’t realize she’s whistling to a melody she likes in the library
and these things just make her all the more approachable and likable really
even if jieun herself, a senior, still gets worked up about having to talk to new underclassmen
basically she’s totally good at college, has more internships under her belt than most publishing majors, genuinely loves and has a passion for publishing
but she’s also 100% the type to go to the movies alone, but forget all her money in her dorm LOL
and since jieun is a senior, she’s buried in applications and essays for graduate school
which you, being her underclassman, can’t even begin to imagine yet
but, as much as jieun is rather timid with new people 
she’s very very open and loving with people she considers close friends
and you had actually met her through suzy, who’d come to like you after you helped her out in one of her elective classes
she’d introduced you to jieun, and since you and jieun shared the same ‘never give up!’ attitude (and music taste interestingly enough) 
you guys,,,clicked
at first jieun was a bit tense, as if she was trying to figure out your borders before she got too close
but soon enough - it came to light that you and jieun were affectionate, loving friend types
meaning that unlike chic suzy, you and jieun had an appreciation for  holding hands or linking arms - long hugs, resting each others heads on each other shoulders
even kisses on the cheek became a norm
“sometimes you two act like a couple”
was the overarching notion about you and jieun,,,,,even though you guys always insisted it was strictly platonic
to be honest,,,,jieun had once ruffled your hair and said to someone “they’re like a younger sibling - well no,,,,,like a very close friend who i trust with everything!”
at the time you were over the moon to be called a ‘very close friend’ because this was lee jieun
she was the student everyone dreamed to be, the girl with a face everyone dreamed to be born with
and she felt comfortable enough to put her arm around you, to hug you long and close, to fall across your lap while you two studied on her bed
sometimes you’d meet up with her after her weekend volunteer gigs and she’d just run out, grabbing your hand on instinct
“do you want to eat at a stall or go back to campus?!”
she’d ask, cute smile and all
and you don’t know when exactly you started ,,,, kind of HATING the ‘very close friend’ label
maybe it was when you looked up from your computer, jieun sitting across from you with her hair in a high pony tail and her glasses perched on the end of her nose
her lips parted in thought
and your first instinct was to lean over and kiss her
maybe it was when you heard her humming, fingers flipping the pages of her magazine 
and you realized,,,,her voice,,,was the most beautiful one you’d ever heard in your life 
maybe when she pulled you in for a hug, resting her face against the side of your neck 
the warmth passed between you like a blanket you never wanted to climb out of 
“im so tired, graduate school stuff is so draining,,,”
she’d mumbled and your heart felt as if a sharp nail had been pushed right through it
right, she’s graduating 
any one of those moments could have sent your emotions into overdrive
but you were only sure of one thing definitely, and that was that you could not tell jieun how you felt
her skinship, her openess and trust in you
it was too valuable to lose
even as the days dwindled and the winter semester crawled closer and closer to it’s end
you kept your feelings inside
and it seemed as if jieun didn’t notice, she continued holding your hand when you walked to class together
you continued to get teased by others for being too lovey dovey
you continued to watch jieun grow toward her goal - study hard, help others and get ready for her future
her future outside of this school, maybe even outside of this city - of this province 
and as much as you felt you had your love for her under control
you still found yourself up at night, looking at the glowing phone of your screen where photos of you two pressed cheek to cheke
made your head spin and your heart do flips
her instagram full of pictures of her with her publishing mentors, her fellow volunteers, it all made it more daunting
that jieun was living by your side for now - but that reality was going to end,,,,,soon
and clutching your chest you had felt tears well up countless nights - knowing the person you loved was soon to start a journey far far away from you
you don’t notice you’re doing it, but everyone else 
your subconscious shying away from jieun to protect yourself
pulling away from hugs faster, making excuses as to why you couldn’t see her after book review club or class
and jieun, who had never been much confrontational in her life, didn’t know what to do about it
thankfully,,,,,suzy did
and she’d cornered you outside of the library with an intense gaze
“i know how you feel about jieun.”
you averted your gaze, but suzy’s held strong
“and you better tell her before she’s really gone. you know she’s going to be unstoppable in graduate school. she’s going to study abroad, she’s going to meet people - and you’re going to stay her friend but i know that’s not what you want.”
she motions for your phone and you hand it to her, powerless against her energy
she types something out and presses it back into your palm
“me and some of jieun’s friends are taking her out after her volunteering gig on saturday. you better come and you better say something to her.”
suzy’s tone softens as she sees your shoulders twitch a bit
“jieun deserves to know,,,”
she adds, almost in a whisper and then walks off as you lean against the wall
suzy isn’t like jieun, jieun who assumes things are her fault - that she did something wrong if someone is acting weird
no, suzy sees right through you and you know it
to be honest, you hate the fact that jieun might be second guessing how you feel about her - you’d tried to be subtle, really
but maybe ,,,, maybe you should just tell her
that night you get a text from jieun, nothing out of the ordinary, she’s just telling you about a song she’s been working on on the side
she sends you a sample, and her voice lulls you into this beautiful fantasy
that you feel your head rest against your pillow and suddenly you’re in a hazy dream
where jieun is sitting beside you on a park bench, somewhere beautiful and scenic
and she’s got her hair up, some small strands framing her face
a simple denim skirt, with a loose button up tucked into it - you feel jieun’s hand in yours
“im glad our first date was in spring, i like things like this. easy things.”
her voice sounds like it’s coming from another room
but you look at her anyway
“how do you feel right now?”
“right now? ,,,,, im fine. truly fine.”
she smiles, squeezing your hand in yours
it’s like a scene - straight from a movie
and when you wake up to the sound of your roommate coming back, you sit up and rub your eyes
no wonder it was so perfect, it was a dream
saturday comes faster than you want it to and you show up where to the address suzy had put into your phone
surprised to see jieun standing outside, the cold breeze around the two of you
“why don’t you go inside?”
you ask and jieun almost automatically links her arm with yours as she presses closer for it to be warm
“the others aren’t here yet, i don’t want to get a table without them. to be honest, i told suzy we don’t have to do this,,,,i haven’t even gotten accepted to any programs yet.”
“but you will.”
you mean to be encouraging, but you feel like it’s come out too harsh
jieun doesn’t seem to notice as you two hear a barrage of familiar voices coming your way
the restaurant suzy has chosen is small, but packed
it’s new and popular and you’re basically squished against jieun
who doesn’t mind at all,,,,and had this been three months ago neither would have you
but every movement of hers is amplified in your heart and the redness in your cheeks isn’t from the indoor heating
everyone makes small talk, jieun talks a bit about this one program she really wants to get into 
you think you can actually make it through, when you feel a foot nudge you under the table, you look up and suzy is literally glaring your soul down
“now”
she whispers and you blink, but her eyes dart to jieun - whose too busy looking at desserts
you give a little shake of your head but suzy pulls back her lip and you sigh
“jieun,,” 
even saying her name takes effort for you know
she looks up, bright and curious “hmm?”
“can i tell you something,,,in private.”
someone opens there mouth to make a ‘oh you can tell all of us’ kinda comment - but suzy elbows them and motions for the people to get up and let you and jieun through
weirdly enough jieun doesn’t look confused and doesn’t ask “why do we need to talk?”
she follows behind you and when you two shrug on your coats and go out into the cold you regret not just telling her inside
but the coldness at least makes everything more crisp, more easy to say
“i know,,,i know a lot is on your mind these days,,,,,but i want to tell you something before - before you graduate.”
the tiny hairs wisp around her in the wind, but she waits for you to finish
“you’re my best friend - really, i mean it. but - but i want - im in love with you,,,,,,,,,,,romantically.”
the last word is just added for emphasis, you know that jieun is incredibly  smart but sometimes she can misinterpret things 
(like the millions of confessions she’s gotten throughout her time in school)
but you know jieun understands this one
you can tell from the way her eyes widen, but then her hands reach toward you and pull you forward by the front of your jacket
you think she’s going to hug you - maybe tell you she’s sorry she doesn’t feel the same way and comfort you
but she just pulls you in and her lips, slightly cold from being outside graze against yours
“is that why you’ve been distancing yourself? that’s a dumb reason, from now on keep being close to me.”
she laughs against your skin 
and it takes you a moment but you look at her again
“does that mean -”
“yes, i love ,,,,,,,,,,, you too.”
she drops her eyes from yours, coyness coming over her
“romantically.”
she adds and you feel like suddenly the cold wind and weather is gone
your entire body feels as if it’s been overflowed with warmth and jieun takes your hand
squeezes it, and leads you back inside
suzy is the first to see the blush on your cheeks - everyone thinks it’s from the wind but she knows
and when you’re all leaving the restaurant she throws her arms over you and jieun
“FINALLY, you two are a couple! i cant wait for my wedding invite!”
you and jieun both get embarrassed and she twirls away to join the others
jieun holds your hand again and this time she goes “can i kiss you while they’re not looking?”
obviously, you happily oblige
jieun isn’t that much different when you’re dating her - the skinship is there,,,,,just now there’s more kisses and cuddling involved
her never-ending, yet unsuspecting cuteness basically radiates off of her
when she touches your noses and then gives you a forehead peck
when she’s eating whatever snack, eyes glued to her book - yet still offering you some
(sometimes accidentally shoving it against your lips or chin)
the way she hand writes a little note for you about a week after you confess and it’s a list of ideas for a first, actual date
which is where you learn jieun wants to either a) sleep in and watch movies or b) wake up at the crack of dawn to go volunteer at the childrens shelter
and even though you can’t believe you managed to wake up at 5 am,,,,,,,
you’re there with jieun
cleaning up the toys and setting breakfast for kids
who all flock to jieun in droves because they adore her
and you see how much she loves them
and you’re pretty sure you think like 1001092 times that ‘oh my god i love her more than before - is that even possible?!?’
after volunteering you guys are both beat, yet once you get back to campus and you’re resting your head in her lap
jieun is back on her laptop, finishing her apps and taking in-between breaks to rack her hands through your hair
the best part about dating someone you are best friends with is like,,,,there isn’t really an awkward phase with lots of the usual stuff
like,,,when you tell your friends you’re an official item no one - like literally no one is surprised
some people even go “wait,,,,you weren’t dating before???”
which makes jieun all giddy because “was i really that touchy with you???”
suzy: you guys were basically sitting in each others lap everyday SO
that, and you both know so much about the other person that it’s like,,,,,you don’t have to test out anything for the most part 
it’s like, you know what jieun loves to eat - what her hobbies are - what books she’s been dying to read - what type of face mask she buys from the cosmetics store
and jieun knows what you love to eat, your hobbies, your plans, and she sometimes surprises you
like when you’re facing each other, under a big blanket and she’s tracing the skin of your arm
circling a little birthmark you have and going “ive always loved this mole of yours. it looks a little like a heart”
and it’s like ,,, you’re not even like did you just notice that
because you can tell in jieun’s voice that no,,,she’s loved that mark for a long long time
jieun doesn’t take much time to get ready, for classes or for dates and you don’t care
her comfy style is always nice, especially since you two are worn out students
and when she sees you, running into your arms for a hug and a kiss - you’re always happy to see her wearing a sweater of yours or even once of your simple accessories
“stop stealing my stuff”
“it’s not your stuff,,,,,you left it in MY dorm”
“jieun,,,,,,,,,,”
her grad school apps are long and even when shes’ done with them - you can tell she’s nervous about it like everyone else
but you know how to calm her down, you know what her comfort shows are and what games she likes
you might suck at monopoly but if jieun wants to play it for hours to get her mind off of things - then by god you’ll do it
suzy describes your love for jieun as completely, utterly smitten
and she’s not wrong - you really are freaking smitten
but it’d be a lie to say jieun isn’t smitten too
because she absolutely adores the little things about you that you don’t even notice
she even made an instagram post about this little habit of yours of collecting clippings from the school’s newspaper that you like 
and she was like ‘look at how adorable and sentimental my s/o is’ 
tbh people you don’t even know are like “oh! you’re dating jieun!” and you’re like how,,,how do you know and they’re like lol her insta 
suzy drags you two to go shopping for jieun’s graduation because ‘no you’re not ging up there in jeans’
but both you and jieun are more interested in cute kitten videos on youtube then you are in getting jieun a dress or heels
and when jieun starts trying on things each one is better than the other and you’re just like 
“jieun you’re beautiful, pick any of them - you look ennchanting”
and jieun is like heart eyes oH stop
and suzy is like you two,,,,cornballs,,,,better make a decision
jieun getting excited about teaching you a bit of guitar or a bit of piano even though she jokes that she’s bad at it 
(she’s not)
and her hands are over yours and it’s just so intimate and NICE
the night before her graduation ceremony you show up at her dorm 
with her favorite flowers and a letter you got from her younger brother 
and it brings her damn near to tears and she’s hiding her face in your neck and you’re like jieun,,,
and that’s when you just feel her pull back and start kissing you
and as shy, composed and sweet as she is - jieun has a firey passion and it goes to show when you fall back onto her bed
and the next morning at graduation jieun is like “im happy we picked a high collar dress,,,”
but she’s also like a big butterfly kiss and eskimo kiss
like she’s so cute and soft but you know,,,,two sides to every coin AHEM
once she graduates and you start your first semester without her on campus, you guys still skype as much as possible and send text updates
you,,,,won’t admit it to anyone but you have set good morning texts and they’re really cute because jieun calls you her goddamn blueberry and you don’t know why it’s just sO CUTe
you call her cherry,,,,,,,,,
but you keep in contact, sometimes even falling asleep on the phone together
and you get packages from her sometimes, with books she recommends and diaries with pressed flowers in them
and on one of your anniversaries she surprises you with coming back to campus and serenading you on her guitar
and you sob,,,,
like actually sob as jieun combs back your hair and kisses away the tears
and ok gOSH you two are so cute at some point you probably get lil matching behind-the-ear tattoes
and basically suzy was right, invite me to your wedding LOL 
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