#I hate being emotional in front of people but when those happen in front of others I literally cant help it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unsolved-duvall · 2 years

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𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 - 𝐞.𝐦. (𝟏𝟖+)

eddie munson x fem!reader

7.9k words (i'm so sorry)

summary you and eddie have been friends for years, and you've both been in love with each other for as long as you can remember. neither of you realise it though, until one night, where that might finally change.

fluff, smut, idiots in love. friends to lovers <3

warnings talks of insecurities, mentions of anxiety, mentions of a bad relationship with parents. reader struggles with her emotions a lot (i don't know if that needs a warning but just in case!). some smut at the end, so 18+! minors i will chase you away with a stick if i have to.

“You look perfect, I promise” Eddie leant against the doorway to his bedroom, watching as you desperately adjusted your skirt and fishnet tights in front of his mirror. The outfit you were wearing wasn’t much different to your usual attire, but you had never been to a concert before, and you wanted to look the part - Eddie had assured you it didn’t matter what you wore, that no one there would judge you or even be looking at you, too busy watching the band perform. But it wasn’t everyone else you were worried about. It was Eddie. And you so desperately wanted Eddie to look at you.

If someone was to ask you when you fell in love with Eddie you weren’t sure you could give them an answer. The truth was you didn’t remember when it happened, all you knew was that you fell hard and fast. Even before you two had spoken one word to each other, you were sure you were already completely enamoured by him. You would catch yourself staring at him at school, entranced by everything he did. Constantly holding doors open for girls walking behind him, or stopping mid-theatrics in the middle of the cafeteria to let that group of girls walk past him, throwing his arms behind his back. Gestures so subtle that no one else noticed, or if they did they simply ignored them.

You had learnt that teenagers found it much easier to view people one-dimensionally, and the minute someone doesn’t act the way they’re expected to, people become uncomfortable. Eddie was seen as an outcast and freak from day one; he was never going to change that. So, it was easier for him to lean into the role, fitting into the mould that everyone else had made for him. Your point was, you always admired how kind and considerate Eddie was to the people around him, even though they never showed him the same respect back.

When you and Eddie finally started talking and became friends, you realised that he was possibly the sweetest person you had ever met, and your feelings became all-consuming. Also, it didn’t help that Eddie was annoyingly good-looking. Like bang-your-head-against-the-wall-pretty. Eddie had a way of making you go dumb when he looked at you. His big doe eyes were like a weapon he didn’t even realise he possessed, you were sure he held the whole universe in them. And, when you sat close enough to him, you could see the freckles that painted his face like constellations in the night sky, across his nose and cheeks. Seeing Eddie smile was your favourite thing in the entire world, especially those smiles that reached his eyes and lit up his whole face. If his face was the only one you could look at for the rest of your life, you would be perfectly content with that.

Eddie’s voice broke through the thoughts swirling around in your head about how you looked, starting to overwhelm you. You lifted your head and looked up into the mirror, meeting Eddie’s eyes. “There she is, you zoned out on me there for a sec” A small smile graced his face as he pushed himself off the doorframe and walked to stand in front of you, stopping you from being able to stare at yourself in the mirror anymore, he could tell you were starting to feel anxious, his eyes dropping to watch your fingers tangle together, nails scratching at the back of your hands.

Eddie hated that you were so self-conscious, he wished he could take away all your anxieties and worries. Listen, Eddie wasn’t a violent guy, and he would be the first to admit that - he had only gotten into two physical fights in his life, both of them when he was much younger, just after his dad was sent to prison; both of the fights were caused by someone telling Eddie he was gonna grow up to be ‘“just like his dad” and before he even realised what he was doing he was throwing punches. Both times Wayne had comforted Eddie afterwards, sitting with him for hours just listening to him shout and scream and cry. Wayne knew he was just a small kid with a lot of big emotions, that he had no idea how to handle. “It’s okay kid, it’ll be okay.” Wayne tried his best to comfort him, but also be a father figure to him, sometimes he worried he was being too soft, and other times he worried he was being too harsh. But Eddie wouldn’t be the man he was today without his Uncle, so he obviously did something right.

With all that being said, Eddie was certain that if your feelings were a person? Without a shadow of a doubt, he would beat them to a pulp for making you feel so awful all the time.

Eddie delicately held both your hands, stopping them from fighting with each other, he didn’t miss the heat that rushed to your cheeks at the small action. “Listen” He murmured quietly, although in the quiet of his room he still sounded loud “there’s no rush, s’just we really are going to be late if we don’t leave now” He didn’t actually care about being late, he just wanted to stop you getting more worried than you already were.

“Oh shit, m’sorry. Yeah, okay I’m ready, let’s go” Eddie gave your hands a tight squeeze and then let them go, you silently cursed yourself for wishing that he had kept holding them. “S’okay, do you need a jacket or anything?” Eddie asked as he lead you out of his room. “No Eds I don’t need a jacket, we’ll be inside the whole night” You responded trying to sound as normal as possible, but all you could think about was his hand on the lower dip of your back as he followed you to the front door. “You are cold literally all of the time! I’ve seen you wear coats in June and it’s mid-Winter right now, forgive me for assuming you would be cold tonight!” Eddie laughed as he said it. “I’ll be fine Munson.”

“Okay fine I’ll take your word for it. But I swear I’m not giving you my jacket if you realise I’m right and start freezing your ass off.”

You laughed and turned your head to look at him, that signature smirk on his face. “You got it.” You both knew he was going to give you his jacket anyway.

Eddie jumped into the van, getting ready to drive. Within about ten seconds his face dropped completely. “What’s wrong?” you asked curiously.

“Uh, so you know how sometimes I get distracted and then I forget to do things that were really important?” Eddie avoided looking at you as he spoke, you already had an idea of where this was going. “Yeah that’s kind of your thing” you giggled. “Heh yeah so uh it shouldn't really surprise you if I told you I kinda forgot to fill the van up?” Eddie asked innocently, it really was impossible to be mad at him when he looked like that. “Wait we don’t have any gas?” You asked him.

“Shit Y/N I’m so sorry. I was meant to run errands the other day and then I got this idea for a new campaign - It’s actually really cool I wanna tell you about it later - and anyway then I started writing that down and then Wayne came home and-”

“Eddie!” you cut him off with an exasperated laugh.

“ What?” Eddie asked abruptly, finally looking at you. “Breathe!” you reminded him.

“Oh yeah m’sorry I just, I didn’t want you to think I had done this on purpose and I really didn’t I just- I’m rambling again. Shit sorry.” Eddie finally stopped talking and took the keys out of the ignition in defeat. “So I’m guessing the concert is a no-go,” you asked him quietly.

“I mean, hey we could always walk it” Eddie laughed “but uh we probably wouldn't get there for about twelve hours”

“Huh, I think we might miss the band if we did that.”

“Yeah probably” Eddie took a breath and started fiddling with his rings, you could tell he was disappointed; truthfully you weren’t that bothered. Sure it would have been amazing to go to your first concert, but you had already worked out that with no gas in the van you would end up staying at Eddie's tonight, and a night in with Eddie was one of your favourite things.

“Hey” you nudged Eddie’s arm with your hand, just trying to get his attention. “It’s okay. I mean there’ll be other concerts, right? We’ll try again then- I’ll drive us next time, no offence or anything” Eddie finally laughed again as you finished talking. “Yeah s’probably for the best.” You both silently got out of the van and walked back into the warmth of the trailer, neither of you felt the need to ask the other if you were going to stay the night, that question didn’t even need to be asked anymore, you both just knew you were always welcome. More than welcome, Eddie hated the nights you weren’t there, and he kept telling himself it was perfectly normal to feel that way towards his best friend.

Back in the trailer, you both stood in the kitchen as Eddie searched through cupboards looking for something to eat. “Do you just wanna order pizza or something? I was meant to go grocery shopping for Wayne but I uh, forgot” Eddie leant against the kitchen counter, his guilty face illuminated by the dim lights above him.

“Why does that not surprise me even a little bit” you shook your head, holding back a laugh as you said it, you hated how endearing you found him. He looked at you with a feigned hurt as his mouth dropped open “You wound me, princess”.

Before you could retaliate by reminding him that not ten minutes ago he announced he had also forgotten to fill up the van with gas, the exact thing that led to you being stuck at Eddie’s trailer for the night, he walked across the room and picked up the phone “What kind of pizza do you want sweets?”.

“I don’t mind Eds, just get your favourite” you mumbled as you walked over to throw yourself down on the sofa, trying to hide how your whole body seemed to react to the nickname. You really needed to work on the whole subtlety thing.

Eddie did order a pizza; he ordered what he knew was your favourite, not his.

He always did this, if there was anything he could do to make you happy, you best believe he would crawl to the ends of the earth to do it. Like when your car broke down and had to be in the garage for a week; Eddie picked you up for school every morning. Sure, it meant he had to wake up an hour earlier than normal, and then drive all the way across town to your house, which was in the opposite direction of the school, to get you. But he promised you he didn’t mind. And he really didn’t. So much so that when your car was fixed, Eddie offered to carry on carpooling with you anyway, he told you it was just easier that way.

“Look, this way you don’t have to waste money on gas, and it’ll stop me from getting bored having to drive on my own. Plus uh, you know, if I’m getting you every morning I might actually graduate this year, turning up on time for school will help with that I ‘spose” Eddie laughed awkwardly as he finished speaking, whilst fiddling with his rings, as you sat across from him in his van. That last part was absolutely true and Eddie knew it. The rest of it was just an excuse to spend time with you. You didn’t need to know that though.

“Okay, Eds, only if you’re sure though, I don’t wanna be a pain in the ass or anything”

“Are you kidding?” Eddie was sure you were joking but then he met your eyes and saw how uncertain you looked - it didn’t matter that you two had been friends for years now, you were still sure that you were a bother to everyone around you. Eddie knew you struggled with feeling secure in your relationships, platonic or romantic. Eddie also knew this was because of your parents; growing up with a mom and dad who made sure to let you know just how much you disrupted their lives, by simply existing, left you with a sort of unhealthy worldview. To put it mildly. You found it nearly impossible to believe that someone could actively choose to have you be a part of their life, let alone change their life to better fit you into it. - Eddie had seen that look on your face a million times, he hated that you saw yourself as such a burden, so instead of making one of his signature sarcastic comments, Eddie said “Y/N do you know how important you are to me? Do you think I would bestow the title of best friend on just anyone? No, absolutely not sweetheart - that title is an honour and it is saved for just you” You giggled as he began his theatrics, voice going all dramatic and hands flying around in emphasis. “So I never want to hear this bullshit about being a pain in my ass again, okay?”

“Okay” heat rushed to your cheeks and you held back a love-struck smile as you looked at Eddie. You really hoped he didn’t notice.

Of course he did, he noticed everything about you. But he somehow still didn’t believe that you were in love with him. Or that he was in love with you. Actually, that was a lie, he knew that he was in love with you, but he promised himself he would never act on those feelings. He tried to push them down and pretend they didn’t exist. He would ignore the way his heart raced whenever he first saw you in the mornings, all smiles accompanied by a small wave as you walked over to his van. He ignored the way that he felt his skin set on fire whenever your hand touched his arm. Or how he felt like the only time anyone really looked at him, was when you looked at him. He knew that if he let himself, his feelings would become all-consuming. So he kept a lock on them, constantly holding the floodgates closed, in hopes that he wouldn’t someday wake up and himself drowning in them. No, Eddie had decided long ago that losing you would be far worse than living with his (what he believed to be) unrequited feelings.

Once Eddie had ordered the pizza he sat down next to you on the sofa, expecting you to lean against him like you normally did. You had always been touchy-feely, always needing to have physical contact with him. Whether it was a hand resting on his arm, or your legs being delicately thrown over his lap whilst you both sat and talked until the early hours of the morning. “Hey” he bumped your shoulder with his, rousing you from your thoughts and you pulled your gaze from the television, where old cartoons were playing silently and looked at him. “Hey to you too” you whispered back.

“I really am sorry we couldn’t go to the concert” he murmured sheepishly. You saw the genuine guilt on his face and it was hard not to reach over and hug him. “I’m an idiot” he continued to talk when you didn’t reply. “You really are an idiot’ you said with fake seriousness, his mouth dropped and he scoffed, trying to look offended by your words. You leaned into him more and laughed “But you’re my idiot, so it’s okay. I wouldn’t want you any other way.” You told him, and you saw him bite back a smile, trying to hide how smitten he was with you.

“Right back at you sweets”

“Eddie Munson are you saying I’m an idiot too” you pulled back your head from where it had dropped onto his shoulder and looked at him properly for the first time you had walked back into the trailer, you felt your cheeks heat up from your close proximity to him.

“What- no, no I just meant like, I wouldn’t want you any other way either! Y’know? You’re pretty damn perfect” Eddie spoke those last words so quietly you almost didn’t hear them.

“I don't think so. I think you’re just biased. I’ve tricked you into liking me actually, didn’t you know that?” you giggled as Eddie reacted to what you said. “Oh yeah? And how have you done that?” Eddie leant further away from you so he could really look at you. “Well I can’t tell you that or it would ruin it! But we both know it wasn’t my sparkling personality that won you over” you joked.

When you met Eddie you were in a pretty bad place mentally, you had never gotten along with your parents but it got really bad a couple of years ago, around the same time you became friends; safe to say you weren’t much fun to be around. You still struggled to understand why Eddie had even bothered to spend the time breaking through the walls you had put up around yourself, but he did. And you loved him for that, no one else had ever spent so much time getting to know who you really were.

“Don’t say that. It actually was your dazzling personality that did it for me I’ll have you know. You might not like yourself sometimes but I’m a pretty big fan, you’re the only thing your damn parents did right, I should probably thank them for that one day.” You pulled your legs up to your chest and wrapped your arms around them, looking away from Eddie and back to the cartoons playing. “You’re so cheesy” It was all you could think to say, he was being sweet again and you didn’t trust yourself to say much more without giving away how desperately in love you were.

Before you could register what was happening Eddie had jumped up abruptly and was halfway across the room, leaning down to put music on. “What’re you doing’ you asked him. “Jus’ though that even if we can’t go to the concert that doesn’t mean we can’t still have fun” He turned and held his hand out for you to take, a smile plastered on his face, the kind of smile that felt like he had swept you off your feet into a tight hug. You couldn’t say no to Eddie, so you reached your hand out and he grabbed it, pulling you up gently.

The music kicked in and you laughed as Eddie started singing along to it “What’re we doing?” you shouted slightly so he could hear your voice over the song. “We’re being rockstars, what else?” Eddie let go of your hand and suddenly started singing more energetically, hands flailing around him as he danced to the music - it wasn’t good dancing, but in his defence, it was kind of hard to dance to his kind of music.

You watched him and couldn’t stop the laughs that bubbled up inside of you, “Come on princess don’t leave me to do this alone, I’ll look ridiculous by myself!” You shook your head and then started singing as loud as you could. Eddie shouted in delight and joined back in, watching as you sang and danced around the living room, the only lights being a small lamp in the corner and the TV set illuminating the room. You don’t know how long you did this for, you must have gone through three or four songs, both of you acting like you were on stage, Eddie even did air guitar at one point. That made you stop and keel over laughing, you knew he could play the guitar, but his air guitar was awful, not even trying to make it look realistic. You loved it.

“Dance with me” You stopped your little performance - you thought you were doing pretty good if you did say so yourself - and looked at Eddie. “We are dancing” You responded. “No, dance with me.” Eddie walked over to you and his fingers grazed yours. “Eds we can’t exactly dance to this” you retaliated, though you still let him hold your hands in his bigger ones. “Sure we can” smiled “Just follow my lead”. He went to move one hand to your waist and hesitated before holding you, checking that this was okay with you. You smiled and nodded gently. One of your hands was still in his, and the other you had rested on his shoulder. He started swaying you both back and forth and you couldn’t help but bite back a smile

“Eddie this is ridicu-”

“Shh, jus’ dance with me. Ignore the music, kay?” Eddie looked at you so seriously that your breath almost hitched in your throat.

“Okay” Your voice was so quiet you were surprised he even heard you.

You and Eddie danced around the living room without saying another word to the other. The light from the TV flashing across both your faces. Eddie swirled you around and then pulled you in closer than you were before, chests almost touching. He stared right into your eyes and you did the same right back. You felt the mood change suddenly, but also not suddenly. Like you had both been waiting months for a chance like this, neither of you being brave enough to initiate anything until tonight. A haze fell over you and felt your whole body lean into him more, almost involuntarily. Like there had always been some invisible string connecting both of you, and you were finally going to stop fighting it.

With Eddie’s hands on your lower back and yours thrown around his neck, time seemed to stop. You couldn’t even hear the music anymore, all you could think about was Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. And how perfect he looked, how dark his eyes were, how his hair around his face and all you wanted to do was tangle your hands in it. You felt him move one of his hands up your back, all the way up to rest on your cheek, his thumb moving in small circles just under your eye. “Y/N I-”

A loud, abrupt knock on the door had both of you jumping back about a mile. “Shit, the pizza” Eddie froze for a moment then seemed to snap out of it, he turned off the music and grabbed his money to pay for the pizza. You stood there not saying anything as you tried to process what had just happened. What could have happened. Your brain was all fuzzy and your hands felt shaky and you hated how overwhelmed you get with everything.

You sat down on the sofa and turned the sound back on the TV. Were you supposed to say something? Act as if nothing had happened? You had no idea. Eddie had thanked the guy for the pizza and he brought it over to you, placing it between you both, sitting down on the other end of the sofa.

Shit. You had messed up. But he had been the one who held you like that, he was the one who pulled you closer. Shit, shit, shit. You didn’t want to lose your best friend.

“You okay?” Eddie asked, you followed his eye line down and saw how aggressively you were messing with your hands. You hadn’t even realised you were doing it. Fuck. “Yeah, m’fine. Hungry” You grabbed a piece of pizza and stared straight ahead at the TV.

Eddie didn’t push the matter. He was terrified he had just ruined everything, he tried so hard to push his feelings down, but at that moment he just couldn’t anymore. For a moment he thought you were okay with it, for a crazy second he swore you looked just as dizzy in love as he did. But then you both had to jump apart and you didn’t say anything. He brought the pizza over, and you still didn’t say anything. He sat away from you so you didn’t feel like he was trying to push himself on you. And just then you had so obviously brushed him off like you didn’t even want to look at him anymore. Shit, he thought, nice job asshole, you scared her away.

You both sat and ate the pizza in silence, watching whatever was playing on the TV. You finally braved a look over at Eddie and you couldn’t for the life of you work out the expression on his face. Annoyance? Hurt? His eyes were glued to the TV and his lips were pressed together in a firm line. You uncrossed your legs and stood up “Bathroom” you simply said to Eddie, walking faster than normal, not wanting him to notice how your eyes had started to water, or how your lip was quivering.

You shut the door behind you and rested all your weight against it. Desperately trying to stop the tears you could feel threatening to fall. Your hands rested by your side, palms on the door as you steadied yourself. Closing your eyes you made a split decision that when you walked out of the bathroom you would tell Eddie you were feeling ill, with any luck he’d believe you and you could both go to bed.

Before you left the bathroom you walked in front of the mirror and stared back at yourself. Your eyeliner had smudged slightly from the tears you couldn’t stop, and the colour had drained from your face, how did you look so wrecked just from what had happened? Nothing had even happened! It was just the rush of so many emotions that had washed over you during the past hour. You shook your head, almost trying to shake the thoughts about Eddie out of your mind. It didn't work.

When you walked out of the bathroom you saw Eddie standing in the kitchen. His back to you as he put the leftover pizza in the fridge, then grabbed a post-it note and pen. Presumably to write a note to Wayne letting him know there was food left for him. You stood in the bathroom doorway for a second and then took a shaky breath before you walked to the kitchen, standing next to Eddie near the counter.

“I’m not feeling so-”

“Did you want to-”

You both spoke over each other and then cut yourselves off as you awkwardly waited for the other to speak. “Uh sorry, what’d you say?” Eddie looked at you with those doe eyes again and you felt your heart break. Again. “S’just that I’m not feeling so good” you saw the sudden panic spread across his face and instantly regretted saying it. “M’just tired I think, It’s been a long night. We should probably both just go to sleep, yeah?” You leaned back against the counter and you could just make out Eddie’s face drop slightly, features illuminated in the light of the fridge he had left open. He had turned out the lamp that was on before, you noticed. Making it even darker than it had been before.

He moved to stand in front of you and his eyes flicked across your face, so quickly you almost missed it. Then, almost too casually he just said “Oh yeah okay, that’s fine. D’you want me to sleep out here, you want some space?” You normally just slept in the same bed, it had never bothered you, or Eddie, before. The fact that he asked you that question told you everything you needed to know. He could see through the whole facade you were putting up. You dropped your gaze to the wall behind Eddie and crossed your arms over your chest. “No, no it's not- I don’t want you to leave me alone or anything” your voice was so quiet Eddie had to lean in slightly to make out what you were saying. “I just uh, I guess. Fuck” you were getting visibly frustrated with yourself and Eddie didn’t quite know what was going on with you.

“Y/N hey. Look at me.” Eddie’s soft voice rang out through the deafening silence and you felt tears starting to prick at your eyes again. No, no, no, you could not cry. Not right now. “Okay, why don’t I go get some blankets and pillows and we can sit on the sofa, watch a film or something yeah? M’not that tired, you can fall asleep though if you need sweets.”

You finally broke your gaze from the wall behind Eddie as he started to move away from you. Before you realised what you had done, you grabbed his wrist and he stopped dead in his tracks, turning back to face you, his eyebrows raising in a silent question. Your grip on his wrist loosened a bit and he took the opportunity to intertwine his fingers with yours, in an attempt to ground you. “Can you jus’ stay with me for a second” you whispered timidly.

“Yeah. Yeah ‘of course I can. I can do whatever you want me to, you know that. You just need to tell me what you need.” Eddie whispered back just as quietly as you had.

“Don’t say stuff like that” you were right on the edge, you were so overwhelmed. You just needed him, needed to be close to him.

“Why not?” Eddie squeezed your hand and you were back in the position you were at the start of the night. Eddie stood in front of you, holding your hand, trying to get you out of your own mind. Eddie was the only person you could do that. Make you feel okay again.

‘Because” you replied, your voice straining as you said it.

“Because what, sweetheart” Eddie breathed. He was right on the edge with you.

Fuck it.

Your free hand reached up to grab the back of his neck and you pulled Eddie into you. Your lips meeting so softly and quickly that you almost didn’t register what has happened. But it had happened. You had kissed Eddie. You pulled back and stared at Eddie, you saw the shock wash over his face and for a minute you thought the worst.

But then he reached up with both hands to cup your cheeks and smashed his lips onto yours. It felt real this time. You didn’t even hesitate for a second, kissing Eddie back with just as much need as he kissed you. Your lips slotting together perfectly, like you were made to kiss only each other. Your hands fisted in his t-shirt as you desperately pulled him closer, mouths moving against each others in perfect harmony, you both moved at exactly the right time, kissing deeper and longer each time.

Kissing Eddie felt like floating and drowning at the same time. It felt like falling into bed after an impossibly long day. It felt like that first sip of water you take in the morning. It felt like waking up to snow when you were a child. It felt like everything you ever needed.

You only pulled away from each other when you physically couldn't breathe anymore. Both leaning your foreheads against each other as you breathed heavily, trying to get your breaths back.

“Fuck sweetheart” Eddie lowered his hands to your waist and you felt electricity run through you everywhere his hands were. “Uh-huh” was all you could say in response, you weren’t sure words would come out even if you tried to speak. “Are you okay? M’sorry I didn’t mean to get so um. You just, you kissed me and I. We don’t have to do this, I know you’re not feeling-” You smiled and it stopped Eddie from talking. “Just kiss me, Eddie”.

You didn’t have to ask him twice. He smiled a giddy smile and kissed you again. Your hands moved to rest at the nape of his neck and you tilted your head, letting Eddie kiss you more. That was all you wanted. More, more, more. He felt like your life-support.

Eddie could feel the desperation from the way your hands pulled gently at his hair and he had to hold back a whimper. He ran his tongue over your bottom lip, silently asking for permission. You granted it immediately, opening your mouth and letting Eddie slip his tongue into yours, deepening the kiss. You let out an honest-to-goodness moan, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be embarrassed.

You just kept kissing Eddie.

All you could think about was his tongue in your mouth and how soft his lips felt. How soft his hair was between your fingers as you pulled on it gently. How perfect his hands are on your cheeks, waist, neck, everywhere, all at once. It was so overwhelming, in the most perfect way.

Eddie pushed you back slightly so that you were completely pressed up against the counter. You separated for only a split second so you could take a breath, but Eddie didn’t go far. His lips trailed down your jaw and to your neck, kissing every bit of your skin he could.

You threw your head back, exposing more of your neck for Eddie to kiss. He left little open-mouth kisses all over. He felt your whole body shiver and he realised he’d found your sweet spot. He smiled into your neck and doubled his efforts, alternating between sucking and kissing you right there, his teeth grazing over it occasionally. Your whole body was on fire, you were sure of it.

You reached your hands deeper into Eddie’s hair and pushed him further into your neck “Fuck Eddie it’s so-”

“What sweetheart” Eddie mumbled into your neck, not letting up for even a second.

“Feels so good Eds” you whimpered out and Eddie swore he died there and then. He sucked harder on your sweet spot and licked his tongue over it to soothe it.

You pulled him back up you and smashed your mouth into his with so much desperation that they met with a clatter of teeth and noses banging into each other, but it was all you needed. This time you pushed your tongue into his mouth and his thumb rubbed soft circles into your cheek. You made out for who knows how long, it might have been five minutes or an hour, but you couldn’t tell anymore. All you know is at some point Eddie lifted you onto the counter and his hand went to your thigh, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist.

You lowered your mouth to Eddie's neck, just like he had done to you, and you didn’t let up until he was outright moaning, pulling your body as close to his as was physically possible. “Angel we should stop” Eddie managed to moan out.

You stopped instantly and raised your head to look at him “Are you okay?” you asked, sounding just as fucked out as you felt. He had barely touched you and you were a goner.

“Am I okay? Shit sweetheart. Yeah, I’m okay, S’just” Eddie’s hands were rubbing up and down your back, as he spoke to you. “We should probably stop now, right?”

You knew what Eddie was asking. “What if I don’t want to stop,” you replied quietly.

“You don’t?”

“No, I don’t” Eddie let out a shaky breath and you felt his grip on you get a little bit tighter.

“Sweetheart, I really need you to tell me exactly what it is you want here.”

Fuck it. “I want you to touch me, Eddie”

Within a second Eddie had lifted you off the counter and carried you over to the sofa, laying you down as he hovered above you, going back to kissing you instantly. His hands on either side of your head, holding himself up.

You wrapped your legs back around Eddie's waist, silently begging him to come closer. He obliged as he rested more of his weight on you, grinding his hips down ever so gently, but it was enough to pull a moan from the back of your throat.

“Yeah, sweetheart” Eddie smirked down at you and moved to kiss your neck. “That feel good?”

“Eddie- fuck, more” Your eyes felt so heavy and all you could focus on was how good he was making you feel already. You raised your hips slightly, trying to get the pressure just where you needed it; but you were so fucked out that your movements were erratic and desperate. Eddie laughed quietly and kept grinding his hips into, going a bit harder as he realised this was without a doubt what you wanted. Using his hand that wasn’t holding him up to grab onto your hip, gently moving his hand under the fabric so it was resting on your small bit of skin that was now exposed.

“Shit angel keep making those pretty noises for me, kay? Can you do that?” Eddie lifted his head from your neck and watched your face, your eyes almost shut and your mouth dropped open slightly; your cheeks flushing a bright crimson.

When you didn’t answer him he stopped moving his hips and you let out a desperate whimper. And Eddie had to hold himself back from fucking you there and then, he never imagined you’d be so pretty like this. “Look at me, hey. I said are you gonna keep making those pretty noises for me?” Eddie dipped down to press a chaste kiss to your mouth. “Use your words sweetheart”

“fuck.. yeah please.. please just” Your legs tightened their hold on his waist and you tried so hard to compose yourself. “Jus’ touch me. Please”

“Okay okay. I’ve got you sweets.” Eddie moved his hand so slowly you were sure he was teasing you. Which he was to some extent, but he also just wanted you to have time to change your mind.

Eddie’s hand grazed your thigh and his fingers gently began to move your skirt up around your hips. “‘S this okay love?”

Fuck. The pet names were going to be the death of you. “Yes yes please, ‘s more than okay” You sounded so breathless that Eddie moved back to kiss you again, he wasn’t sure if he did it to calm you or calm himself. As your mouths moved against each other, his fingers rested on your panties and his breath hitched as he felt how wet you were.

“Jesus baby why didn’t you say something sooner? You’re dripping angel”

“Mhm. ‘M sorry”

“Don’t say sorry. Jus’ wish I’d known sooner. Shit, thought about you like this so much.” Eddie grazed his fingers over you again and you moved your hips against his hand, you didn’t know if it was his hand or his words that had you whimpering out little breathless ‘please’ and ‘ed’s’ but it seemed to be all you could say anymore.

“‘M right here okay, don’t need to beg pretty, not this time anyway” Eddie’s eyes locked with yours again as he dipped his fingers under the fabric covering your cunt and dragged his fingers through your folds, coating his fingers in you before he started to rub over your clit.

“Oh fuck- holy shit” Your back arched off the sofa and Eddie didn’t break eye contact with you for one second, completely in awe of how reactive you were being with him. Sure he’d slept with other people before, but they’d never been like you were. You were so sensitive to everything he did, all he’d done was rub small, slow circles over your clit and you were putty in his hands.

“You’re so sensitive sweetheart. ‘S it always like this? or is this just for me?” Eddie dipped his head down to your neck again and started sucking on your sweet spot - making you mewl and whimper underneath him even more than you already were.

“Never like this.. oh shit.. ‘s just you. you’re so good” You were just saying words at this point, your brain couldn’t keep up with your mouth. You pushed your head back into the sofa even more, trying to expose more of your neck for Eddie to kiss and mark.

Eddie made some unintelligible noise into your neck to let you know he’d heard what you just said. His two fingers halted their movements and your eyes flew open to see what he was doing. He smirked at your reaction, shit if you got this desperate each time he was a dead man.

He moved one finger down and slowly dipped it inside yoy. You let out an embarrassingly loud moan and your hands grabbed at Eddie’s t-shirt desperately. He knew what you were asking for before you even had time to ask. He sat up slightly, removing his hand from your cunt, and pulled his t-shirt off, throwing it somewhere in the living room. You had seen Eddie topless a few times, but you had always made an effort not to stare, excusing yourself from the room or just averting your eyes. But now you were staring without shame, and was so pretty.

You reached up for him again and wrapped your arms around his back. He leant back down to his previous position and moved his hand back down to where you so desperately needed him.

Eddie was trying to be a gentleman here, and take it slow. But he could feel how desperate he was now. He looked at your face again as he took two of his fingers and dipped them inside you.

“Oh fuck.. ed’s” You moaned out as his fingers started moving in and out of you. You couldn’t get over how perfect this all felt, it wasn’t even slightly awkward. But that was probably helped by how talented Eddie was with his fingers. He does play guitar, you thought. Of course.

Eddie didn’t move down to kiss you again, and when you tried to lift your head up to him he tutted and you dropped it again confused. His hand resting next to your head fisted into the cushion you were resting your head on. “Stay there angel, I wanna see your face when you cum okay?”

You nodded your head so quickly he laughed breathily and whispered a quiet “good girl”.

Fuck. You were sure you died there and then.

Your eyebrows furrowed together and you let out the sweetest little sound he had heard you make all night. “Oh shit- you wanna be my good girl sweetheart?” Eddie had a shit-eating grin on his face, his fingers not faltering for even a second.

“Yeah,, oh god,, baby please”

You had never called Eddie anything like that before. But baby? Before he had realised what he was doing he had moved to have both of his legs encompassing one of yours, and he grinded his hips down onto your soft thigh. Desperate for some sort of friction.

You watched as Eddi moved against you and let out a tiny, almost inaudible moan. Shit, you made a mental note to make him make those sounds much more often.

Eddie curled his fingers up inside you and hit your sweet spot. Your nails dug into the skin of his back as you tried to ground yourself. Eddie made you feel like you were floating.

You felt the pressure building and building inside of you and you knew you couldn’t hold on much longer.

“Eddie ‘m gonna cum” you breathed out.

Eddie snapped his head up from where his neck had dipped slightly, lost in how good you felt and sounded.

“Yeah baby? Gonna be a good girl and cum for me”

You whimpered and nodded your head, closing your eyes tightly as you felt that coil in your stomach tightening.

“Fuck angel come on. cum for me” Eddie kept his fingers moving just the way you needed him to. His eyes locked on your face, contorted in pleasure.

“Shit ed’s,, oh god,, please fuck” You didn’t even know what you were begging for. You just needed Eddie. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. You were so drunk on him you felt dizzy. You didn’t even realise you were moaning his name over and over.

“I know sweetheart, I’m right here. Let go for me, come on”

That was all it took to push you over the edge, you felt that pressure run through you and it felt so so good. Your eyes screwed tightly shut and your mouth hanging open as your back arched, like your body was trying to get as close to Eddie as was humanly possible.

“That’s my girl. Fuck,, Jus’ let go for f’me” Eddie didn’t slow his fingers for even a second, determined to drag your orgasm out for as long as possible.

“Shit baby you’re so fuckin’ pretty when you come” You barely heard Eddie over the ringing in your ears. Your whole body felt white-hot and you weren’t sure what noises you were making, but Eddie seemed to like them. Grinding his hips down on your thigh faster and harder. His own moans seemingly getting louder with every movement. Until you felt him drop his weight down onto you and bury his face in your neck.

Suddenly everything seemed to get too much and you pushed Eddie’s hand away from you, your whole body shaking. You opened your eyes and realised you had left marks all over Eddie’s back.

Eddie lifted his head from your neck and pulled his hand up to his mouth, before you could ask what he was doing he had dipped his fingers into his mouth as he licked you off of him.

That might have been the hottest thing you had ever seen. Eddie noticed the blush that crept onto your face and asked “You want a taste angel?”

You just grabbed his wrist and pulled his two fingers into your mouth, running your tongue over them again and again.

“Eddie that was-“

“Yeah”

You turned your head to the side trying to hide your face from. You don’t know why you were getting nervous now, but Eddie wasn’t having any of it. He gently grabbed your chin with his thumb and pointer finger and lowered his lips to yours. Your mouth opening instantly to let his tongue run over your own.

You made out for a while, your hands intertwined. You both just needed a minute to breathe. Which was made slightly more difficult with his tongue in your mouth. But you worked around it.

After a while Eddie pulled back, not moving his body off you, just lifting his head enough to look at you. The hand that wasn’t holding yours pushed your hair back behind your ear. You blushed and he thought it was adorable that he had just made you come and yet that made you nervous.

“Hey uh if it wasn’t already obvious. I uh, am ridiculously in love with you.” You stared at Eddie, taking in his confession.

“I’m in love with you too, dumbass.”

authors note: this is the first fanficiton i have ever written, so it's safe to say i'm more than a little nervous to be posting it. this was originally meant to be a drabble so i have no idea how it got to 7.9k. also i'm sorry the smut is so bad and short! i had no idea how to write it so it kind of got cut short, regardless i hope you enjoyed it, maybe<3

also i'm sorry if there are any spelling or grammar errors! i proof read this once and then gave up <3

tags: @myobmaya @ali-r3n

#eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson comfort #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie smut #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things #eddie stranger things #stranger things 4 #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson the love of my life

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worldofkuro · 2 months

Note

Could you please place my order? What if the reader were Alastor's next victim... The Reader is very kind and affectionate towards Alastor, but Alastor never felt these feelings at the beginning, perhaps he was confused with the love he felt for the reader, with his desire to kill people ... So on the day of the Reader's death, Alastor sees what he really saw, that he killed the love of his life, now imagine if he also died along with the reader because someone mistook him for a deer... (just like in the original story) now like ghosts, the Reader and Alastor were transforming into their angel forms! Reader and Demon! Alastor, perhaps at this point Alastor desperately tries to talk (and manipulate) the Reader into going to hell with him, as he was afraid of never seeing his love again. What would happen? The reader would be Alastor's first contract (imagine the Reader forgiving Alastor for killing her, and when she touches his hand, this becomes a kind of soul contract that will unite her to him)

Note: these are just ideas, if you want to change or remove something feel free!

Hello, my dear. It was a very interesting ask to work on. I hope you will enjoy it and I'm sorry you had to wait so long. This is a 5K words one shot.

Failing for You

The first time he laid his eyes upon you, it was during his late night walk after taking Mimzy home. The poor girl was too drunk to go back home, so as a gentleman he brought her back to her flat. It was an unoriginal Saturday where he danced all night long with multiple dance partners.

“ Thank you Alastor, you know how to keep a girl safe.” laughed Mimzy, her face flushed because of the alcohol. Alastor smiled at her, she looked so pathetic like this…

“ My pleasure, my dear friend.” Alastor smirked before leaving the woman at her front door. He walked on the dark street without a hint of fear in him. He loved seeing the streets buzzing with the bar’s energy. He wondered if he should go to a bar to dance, he still wasn’t tired after all. He could go somewhere for at least one last glass of whiskey, he thought, looking around to find a bar that seemed to fit his tastes.

He didn’t like when people touched him. He felt uncomfortable and that usually made him irritated. He hated that someone had power over him in any way. So when he felt a petite figure hit his chest as he was walking, he tried hard not to roll his eyes.

Another drunkard, huh…?

He already had his endearing smile, ready to play the gentleman his late mother taught him. And yet, when the woman stumbled backward and lifted her head to look at him, he felt like he had been punched in the stomach.

Those eyes…Shining with concern, with so much vivid emotions…

You were looking at him, already apologizing about your behavior. You didn’t seem drunk, mostly in a hurry. He looked at you, your makeup, your attire… You looked…

Completely normal.

He had seen beautiful women, breathtaking people that made him appreciate the beauty humans could be graced with. Yet, you were normal. He wouldn’t have looked back at you in the street..

Is that why his heart was beating faster? Yes, it must be. He was angry because you dared to touch him, he took a step back and held his hand in front of your face, his charming smile straining against his lips.

“ No worry, lady. I wasn’t being careful either.”

He glanced as you smiled, seeming relieved that he didn’t seem angry with you. Why would he? You didn’t deserve any kind of attention. He could see your flushed cheeks as you opened your mouth to speak. Were you going to ask him to spend the night with you? How predictable. He smirked, waiting for you to ask so he could say he wasn’t interested.

“ Well, have a good night sir.”

He blinked as you ran next past him, not even waiting for him to say something back. He turned around to stare at you as you ran, never looking back at him.

What an odd woman.

—-

Fews days later, he walked into his usual coffee shop so he could grab something to drink before heading back to work. He sat on a chair, took the journal and read the news with a knowing smirk. It seemed like his last murder made it to the front page, he was almost proud of himself.

“ What can I do for you, sir ?”

His fingers grasped the journal with more strength than it was necessary. He knew this voice. The voice that was making him tense everytime he remembered it.

He turned his face toward you, who were waiting with a notebook and a pencil, ready to take his order. He looked at your smile, it didn’t seem fake but it wasn’t a beaming smile either. Your eyes were boringly common, they weren’t shining like last time. You were looking at him like he was no one important. Didn’t you listen to the radio? Were you such an idiot girl?

“ Well, it seems like we met again.” Alastor said with his usual pleasing smile. He looked at you as you observed him, confused before gasping deafeningly. You were so loud…

“ Oh, you are the one I bumped into, right? I’m still very sorry about it, let me pay you your lunch.” You said with a smile much more worthwhile to look at. He stared at you, finally, you were looking at him like you were supposed to.

“ Oh, there is no need, dear.”

“ I insist! Tell me what you desire, I shall make it !”

Alastor studied you as you told him all the foods and drinks you had. He almost scoffed. He was used to this coffee shop, he knew everything on the menu, even the one the chef wasn’t making anymore. He liked this coffee because it wasn’t like the new stores where everyone wanted to drink new things. This coffee shop was just like he liked it:

Traditional.

And yet, here you were, messing his routine with your annoying loud presence. He almost sighed as you said he should try something new. He let you talk, he was mostly trying to read how the newspapers described his crime as macabre and inhuman but you were leaning toward him, asking about his opinion on your recommendation.

You were so loud.

He asked for a black coffee which made you frown. He raised an eyebrow at you, his smile never leaving his face.

“ Yes?”

“ Don’t you want to try something new?”

“I’ll rather die, dear. Now, go make me my coffee.” He said, trying hard not to sigh. You were making it hard to stay polite right now. You pouted, writing down his command but as he was already relaxing, thinking you were going to let him alone, you leaned toward him with a big smile.

“ I swear I’ll make you discover something new that you are going to enjoy, sir.”

“ Please, don’t.”

He rolled his eyes as you ran toward the counter, making his coffee. He read his newspaper, not caring to look at you when you came back with his orders. He tried so hard not to throw his coffee at your face as you kept asking about what he liked. He almost wanted to drag you to where he had killed his last victims and watch your expression. That was what he liked. Nothing else.

He took his leave after finishing his coffee, giving you the money before dashing out of the shop. He looked at his watch, almost grimacing. He didn’t want to be late to work, New Orleans needed to hear all about the murder that were haunting the city.

—-

“ Maybe if I added just a tiny little bit of honey inside it..? Just a tiny…?”

He was staring at the newspaper in his hand, his typical smile on his face. He was trying so hard not to strangle you. You were the loudest person he ever had the misfortune to meet. You were talking about how to ‘improve’ his coffee.

He could see the eyes on both of you. Some seemed jealous, some envious and others were looking at the scene, giggling like they knew something he didn’t.

He couldn’t listen to your voice any longer. Your voice was making his skin tingle, his ears itch and making his heart beating faster. And he knew what those symptoms were. He often pondered questions about his body’s reaction to you, each time he went inside the coffee shop and you smiled immediately , dashing toward him, already talking about how you thought about a recipe that he would enjoy.

Those questions kept him awake at night, but now, he had the answer. He knew why his body was acting this way, feeling hot, being vigilant around you, wanting to reach at you to see your reactions. It was all clear, he almost laughed about how long it took him to find the answer.

Poor you, you just became his next soon to be victim.

He already knew how he was going to take your life away. He was almost giddy like a teenage boy.

“ Sir ?”

He was going to strangle this annoying voice of yours, he swore it on God.

“ Yes, dear?”

“ Well, I was wondering… Why don’t you come to my house tonight, so I can cook you something you are going to enjoy, I swear!”

…

He observed your face and didn’t perceive any kind of malice. You were just inviting him to eat at your place. He tried not to sighed. How naive could you be, at least be a little more intelligent so his game can keep playing a little longer.

“ Why would I do this, dear?” he asked with an almost mocking smile.

“ Because I know something you don’t know.”

He stared at your confident smile. You were sure of yourself about something he didn’t know;.? That would be worrisome if it had been anyone but you. He chuckled, looking back at his newspaper.

“ Why would you invite someone you don’t know the name of ?”

“ Well, if I happened to surprise you with my dish, you shall give me your name!”

Alastor’s thumb caressed the page from his journal, thinking about your proposition. Well, he could eat your dish and then kill you. He smirked before nodding at you, watching as you squeal in joy, jumping around him.

You never said he had to give you his name while you were still alive.

—-

The evening came slowly. Was he.. nervous about eating at your place? Well, maybe you were a horrible cook. And he never killed a woman before, that must be why his body seemed so tense. You gave him your adresse before he left the coffee shop so he easily walked toward your residence. He knocked on the door while looking around.

There were a lot of houses around yours, it almost seemed like it was protecting your domicile. He should kill you somewhere else.

He blinked when you opened your door with a beaming smile. You wore makeup and your dress was objectively pretty. Your eyes were shining with… with what, he wondered.

“ Please, come in , sir.”

He entered your home, looking around. His own house was methodically clean. It was almost like no one was living there. But your… your home; it seemed like everyone was living there. He could see two books open on the floor sofa, a blanket half on the divan…It was… so lively. He could almost see what you were doing on your day off with the way the furniture were placed.

“ Do you want to drink something?”

He looked at you, his body tensing and his heart beating faster. He must really want to kill you huh.. How odd.

You invited Alastor to sit on the sofa and pour him a glass of whiskey. He wondered if it was a lucky coincidence you had his favorite drink or did you ask about him? If you did ask about him, that would be annoying. People knew him, unlike you, you idiotic annoying woman. But if he killed you just after you asked about him to the people around you…If you didn’t know his name, nobody around you had his name so he was clean.

“ Do you like it? My father used to enjoy a glass of whiskey before reading.”

You were giving him information about you without fearing it could turn against you. You were so naive… that was why you were getting killed tonight after all. So, why not enjoy himself?

“ It is actually a favorite drink of mine.” He smiled as he took a sip of the liquid before looking at you and freezing.

You were staring at him with a twinkle in your eyes, an open smile on your lips and a cute blush adoring your cheeks. He scoffed at your reaction, were you so proud you managed to give him something he liked?

It was almost cute.

Alastor didn’t pay attention to your usual chattering but maybe it was because of the whiskey, he listened to you. He even participated in the conversation. You were interesting when you weren’t annoying him. He enjoyed this talk with you.

When you raised up to go to your kitchen to make sure the dinner was ready, he looked around.

Should he strangle you with his bare hand? He liked this idea… But you were a noisy, loud woman. He chuckled, he was sure you would talk while he was trying to maintain his grip on your slender neck.

“ Dinner is ready sir!”

Would you say his name for your last breath?

Alastor sat, admiring the feast you prepared. There was Red Beans and Rice, Crawfish Étouffée and Barbecue Shrimp with Pimento Cheese Grits. You really went all out, didn’t you?

You were observing his every move, waiting for him to eat and tell you if yes or no you were ready to know his name. Alastor hadn't planned to give you his name while you were still alive. Poor you.

He took his fork and took a bite of one of the three dishes and freezed once he tasted the flavor inside his mouth. Dear lord… He didn’t expect you to make such an excellent dish!

“ Well, dear. I’m surprised, it is really excellent. Who would have thought !” His smile turned genuine as he took another bite of it. He looked at you, waiting for you to scream about how you were going to learn his name but you only blushed a little while giving him a soft smile, your eyes gleaming with stars inside it.

You weren’t beautiful, you weren’t breathtaking…

And yet, he couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you. Right now, you were…. pretty. It wasn’t beautiful, most of the time beautiful people were beautiful for everyone, it wasn’t something intimate. But right now, you were pretty… Something that people wouldn’t look at because they were looking at something else much more worth looking… But if they stayed to watch you, they would see how pretty you are… And they would keep it a secret so you could stay pretty for them.

You were pretty for him.

You began to eat and he was surprised you didn’t ask for his name. You just began to talk like always, asking about his thoughts about things… If you weren’t this infuriating, he would have loved your voice. But from his body's way of reacting, you were just upsetting him. That’s what he was understanding… But why would he want to hear you speak more? Why did he want you to keep being loud…

You were pretty dangerous.

After dinner, you stood up and brought wine and whiskey. He didn’t understand what happened that night. You were having a great time with him, unaware of his dangerous thoughts about you. You were talking about your family, about your friends, about your workplace…

And he was listening.

He wasn’t trying to have the spotlight on him like he usually does. He was listening to you, remembering what you were sharing with him. Keeping check about how your body or expressions changed depending on what you were talking about. He kept drinking to forget what his mind was thinking. His body was showing every sign that he wanted to kill but his mind was saying something different. Something he couldn’t understand.

You were like an open book, he could easily read you… And yet, you were like an open book in a different language. You were showing you were interested in him, but he couldn’t understand it. If you were interested in him, why were you not asking about his name?

He watched as you began to look tipsy. You were giggling at one of his jokes, you laughed too loud but also not loud enough. He wanted you to shut up so he wasn’t feeling warm inside, but he also wanted you to keep laughing because you looked pretty like this.

He closed his eyes, smiling genuinely as he took a sip of his drink. He enjoyed listening to you… Why?

Maybe because he knew nobody was going to hear your voice after he was done with you..? Maybe…

He observed your face as you were getting sleepy. He wasn’t going to kill you if you were asleep so he needed to keep you awake. He didn’t like killing when the person wasn’t awake, he wanted to see your face deformed by fear, hear your voice scream..

And yet, he only stared as you fell asleep, never making a move to keep you awake.

—----

“ Try this, sir!”

It’s been several days since he ate at your place and didn’t kill you.It was a shame you fell asleep. Well, he would kill you later. Just like right now as he was sitting in his usual coffee shop and you were forcing him to drink his black coffee with chantilly on top of it. Who did you think he was? He hated sweets.

“ Dear, I’m not–”

“ I know, but please, I made it personally, please, try it.” You begged him with an excited smile.

Alastor sighed, his smile twitching. How could you be still alive while upsetting him like this every day? He watched as you put chantilly on his once delicious coffee. You were looking at him… Did you really expect him to drink that?

“ Please, sir…”

Mhn… Well, he was going to taste it, hate it and then he would have another reason to kill you.

He brought the cup near his and took a sip of it. He opened his eyes as he was met with a strong taste. It wasn’t bad, he couldn’t feel any sweetness in his drink, and yet the chantilly was clearly there. He turned his head toward you who beamed at him.

“ I didn't add sugar inside of the chantilly, but some crushed coffee beans.” You explained, giggling at him. Why were you laughing ? You leaned toward him and took a napkin from your apron and wiped something from his mouth.

He wasn’t moving, he just stared at you as you wiped the chantilly from his lips. He could see your cheeks flushing and your eyes looking away from his lips. His eyes dropped toward your own lips. They were objectively inviting, he didn’t think a man who couldn’t control his urge would turn you down.

You had a little cut on your lips, did you bite it again because you were stressed ? He could picture you making this sweetless chantilly, stressing about his reaction. How did you react when you saw you cut your own lips with your teeth while thinking about him, mhn?

What if he was the one biting your lips? How would you react?

“ Do you like it?”

“ I think I would.” He kept drinking his coffee, ignoring your confused face.

He really needed to get rid of you, you were a victim that was staying alive for too long now. He thought about his schedule for the day. He would come to your home, asking you for a night walk and then kill you in the bayou. Perfect.

“ You seem happy.” You said, looking at him curiously.

“ Thanks to you, my dear.” said Alastor with a relaxed smile. He was going to kill you and so his life would return to his usual routine. He would drink his back coffee, he would think about things that mattered, he wouldn’t have to hear you loud voice and see your smile getting bigger each time he walked inside the shop, he wouldn–

He froze when he felt your lips against his cheek. His whole body was getting warmer, his skin tingled… His body was reacting oddly but he was sure it was because you touched him and he hated that. He hated it. So why did he do that?

As you leaned back, already pouring excuses from your talkative mouth, he tugged you by the arm toward him and kissed your cheek, pressing his lips against your flushed skin.

“ That’s how you kiss someone, my dear. Now, I have to go.”

He stood up, smirking as you blushed like never before. How cute of you, you couldn’t even talk. You, who was so loud, was now silently staring at him, your mouth opened and your face red. What a good view.

… Were you broken? You weren’t moving anymore, not even blinking. He tilted his head on the side before taking his spoon and put it inside your open mouth which finally made you react. You almost choke on the spoon which made him laugh. He left the coffee before you could ask him anything about what just happened.

This night would be the last time he would see you alive. Play time was over.

After his work Alastor left the building but was surprised when he saw you, seeming to be waiting for someone or completely lost. He didn’t want you to stay near his workplace where everyone knew about him. You would learn his name quickly if you stayed here. He walked toward you, with his usual smile. When you spotted it your smile turned bigger.

“ Sir ! What are you doing here?”

“ Asking you if you wanted to walk with me in the bayou?”

You nodded happily. You were so naive.

You both walked toward the bayou, and he listened as you talked about your day. How could you make everything that happened in your day interesting. Even a dull conversation you had with a man made him chuckle or smirked.

You didn’t even ask anything as you were getting deeper in the bayou. Were you not uncomfortable ? Worried? He was curious about your thoughts.

His hand slid inside his pants’s pocket where he could feel his blade. How should he do it? He wanted to slice your throat, he wanted to steal your voice away. He wanted to make you shut up so your voice wouldn’t haunt him at night anymore.

He stopped walking when you were deep enough in the forest. He closed his eyes, remembering every corpses that were buried in this location. Where should he bury you… He did want you to stay close enough for him to visit you…

“I’m actually scared of the dark, sir.”

He opened his eyes and looked as you played with your fingers, your frame was shaking even if you wanted to look strong. You were almost terrified. He almost sighed, were you a child? Being afraid of the dark… Foolish woman. The dark could protect you, enveloping you in its embrace and making sure nobody was able to hurt you.

“ Why is that my dear?”

“ Well, isn't it lonely? You don’t know what is in the dark, you can’t see…It’s suffocating.”

Well, you were going to be killed and buried so… Alastor sighed, maybe he could put your body inside the lake? You would be able to see the moon each night and the sun each day. He looked in the direction of the lake, not too far ahead. The night was getting darker…

“ Well, follow me.”

You looked at him, he could see you were trying so hard for him to keep moving.

he couldn’t let his victims be scared of something else than him, right? He approached you before taking your hands in his and walking toward his destination. Your hand was warm against his, his skin was itching because of your contact… again. But it was okay, it was going to be the last time.

You followed him as he walked toward the lake. He turned his head toward you once you reached your destination. He wanted to see your reaction to the beautiful scenery. The lake was circled by fireflies that were flying near the water.

He observed as your eyes widened , the reflection of the fireflies’s light moving inside your eyes. You didn’t seem uncomfortable anymore about the darkness that was around you. You were focused on the scenery. You weren’t aware of his presence in the dark, ready to kill you.

He looked at his hand before reaching for his blade. He was being nice, killing you painlessly with a beautiful scene in front of you. You spinned toward him which made him hid his blade behind his back. You ran toward him and jumped on him, your arms around his shoulders, laughing, how so loudly.

“ Thank you sir, this is beautiful !”

He looked at you, as fireflies were flying behind you, almost making it seem like you had a halo above your head. He stared at your eyes that were shining like the stars in the sky tonight. You were being pretty again for him.

It was time to kill you.

His grasp on the blade tightened but as he was ready to dive his knife inside your throat you did something that made him freeze.

You kissed him.

Your eyes were closed as you pushed your lips against his. His heart was beating so fast he was almost worried he might explode. What were you doing to him? And why wasn’t he pushing you away?

You leaned back slowly, your cheeks flushed but you had a little smile on your face as you kept your gaze on the floor.

“ That’s… that's how you kiss someone, sir.” you statered, not even capable of looking at him as you said it.

He dropped the blade from his hand and stared at you with a smirk. You didn’t seem to hear the noise his weapon made, poor you.

“ Alastor.”

You lifted your head toward him, confused but with a little bit of hope.

“ Sir..?”

“ My name is Alastor, a pleasure to be meeting you sweetheart, quite a pleasure.” He said, bowing to you before kissing the back of your hand. Once he let go of your hand, he would kill you and this game between the two of you would stop. He would return to his life, without you in it. He would turn his back on the lake with the fireflies, this place that would be your grave.

“ Alastor…”

He raised his eyes toward you, a shiver going straight in his body. The way you said his name was so different from how the people around him said it. It almost reminded him of how his mother used to call him. With so much fondness…

He would kill you as soon as you let go of his hand.

Your eyes were shining through the night as you stared at him with happiness. You finally had his name, you must be happy..

“ Yes, dear?”

You beamed at him before repeating his name so loudly. You were so loud, so lively, weren’t you tired of doing this? He scrutinized your face as you blushed and giggled like a little girl. You were gripping his hand harder. Could you feel it was your last chance to stay alive? Keep your hand in his to stay alive ?

You were talking fast about anything that caught your eyes, mostly because you were still embarrassed, he could tell. You were swinging your hand with his, like the children that were walking hands in hands in the street.

“ Oh, Alastor, look, a deer !”

You pointed toward the woods and let go of his hand before walking carefully toward the noble beast.

Ah.

He kneeled to take back his blade with a soft smile. The game was coming to an end. He spinned the knife between his fingers before walking silently behind you. The deer was staring at you, taking every ounce of your focus. You didn't feel him coming behind you as you tried to talk to the deer to come closer.

He stared at your back as you explained information you had about deer. You really had information on the oddest things. You didn’t know he was a famous radio host but you knew that there were sixty species of deer and that they used their tail to communicate.

“ Alastor, did I make you discover something new that you enjoyed?” you asked, still trying to make the deer come closer to you.

He raised his knife above you, looking at you. Were you going to turn around or was he going to kill you while your back was facing him? Did you make him discover something new… that he enjoyed?

“ I don’t know, dear.”

“ Well, I should keep trying then.” You giggled.

“ I guess.”

He stabbed you in the throat, making you gasp. Your hands flew to your throat, trying to understand what was going on. He made sure he cut the artery so you wouldn’t feel pain. After all, he enjoyed this little game between the two of you.

He smiled before freezing as you turned your head toward him, looking at you with teary eyes and so much confusion inside them. Your hands were bloody because of all the blood that was pouring from your throat, you couldn’t breath, you couldn’t talk. You couldn’t be loud anymore.

He stared as you fell on the ground, your eyes closing to never open again. He smiled before crouching next to you, moving your hair from your face and he waited for the satisfaction to come.

He waited…

And yet it never came.

He was angry. Why? Maybe he wasn’t satisfied with how he killed you? He stood up, pacing while thinking. What did he do wrong? What did he do wrong? Why was the silence he longed to meet again so loud?

He stopped in his tracks, his breath harder than he remembered it. He turned his body toward your corpse, the blood leaving from your neck in a puddle. He fell to his knees next to you and took you in his arms, staring at your face.

Being silent didn’t suit you after all. You really were meant to be loud. Is that why he could hear almost everything louder than it was supposed to be? He never felt like this after killing someone, he didn't wish for them to open their eyes and smile at him.

So why was he wishing for this..?

Alastor, did I make you discover something new that you enjoyed?

It seemed like you made him discover something new, indeed… Those feelings that were still uncertain and foreign for him.

Did he enjoy those feelings? No.

But he enjoyed the time he had shared with you..

“ Here, a deer!”

He lifted his head up, almost thinking he heard your voice again. But the only thing he recalled was the sound of a loud shot and then a ridiculously extreme pain in his head. Well, he was used to having a headache because he was always thinking, but right now it was different.

His body fell on the ground, your body still in his arms. He was still smiling, his eyes darting everywhere but he couldn’t see anything. Were you the one who shot him? Did you come back for revenge?

“ Oh shit, it’s a human, fuck!”

He closed his eyes as the man panicked as he saw two bodies.

Well, it seemed like the game wasn’t as easy as he thought. He felt like he was on fire, he opened his eyes and looked around. He was still at the lake… But he was seeing the man shaking his body in front of him. What was going on?

He looked at his hand and saw that his hand had claws, he was wearing a reddish suit… He touched his hair and saw the red and black locks.

Oh, he must have died and he was going to be dragged to Hell. Well, a new playground.

He looked at your corpse, did you spirit already left?

“ Alastor..?”

He turned toward the lake and there he saw you.

You were floating above water, radiant like the sun with a halo glowing above your head. You were as confused as you were when he killed you.

But you were alive , so to talk. He could be with you in this life too. Even if your angelic figure made it obvious that you weren’t going to the same place as him. You were looking at your form, even touching your halo with a confused face.

He smiled at you as he walked toward you, stopping in front of the water.

“ Dear! I’m happy you are okay!”

“ I… I’m dead, Alastor… You killed me…” you said, taking a step back.

“ Did I?” He tilted his head. You seemed puzzled, you were not sure about what happened to you which made it easier for him to manipulate you. “ I’m dead too, aren’t I?”

“ This.. This is what I would like to understand.. What happened..?”

“ Well, dear. The man you just saw killed the both of us.” He said, spinning a microphone in his hand. Since when did he have this? “ I was watching the deer with you, but then this man shot me in the head, and then killed you with his knife. It was horrible seeing you in that state, it seemed like you were so shocked it ruined your mind. You were hysterical… So he killed you to make you shut up.”

His smile got wider as you looked at him with relief and pain. You approached him and hugged him which made him tense but this time he knew it wasn’t because he wanted to kill you. He still didn’t really understand it but he would learn those feelings… only if you stayed by his side.

“ It seems like we aren’t going to the same place.” you muttered with sadness.

“ Well, there might be a way, dear.”

He watched as you looked at him like he had the answers. He just wished for you to be chained to him, after all, he was the one who gave you to death, you were his to do what he wanted. But he didn’t know if you liked him enough to follow him to Hell… He had to force you.

“ But we can’t change God's will.”

You were right, he didn’t think he could fight God if he wanted to bring you to heaven. He needed to win time. He could feel himself tugged somewhere. It must be the same for you, Hell was calling him and Heaven was calling you.

He bowed to you, asking for your hand so he could place a kiss on the back of it.

“ Would you stay with me a little longer? ” He asked.

You smiled sadly at him before reaching for his hand. He didn’t know why, but he could feel power swirling inside of him and when you put his hand in his, he clawed at it. You gasped as wind swirled around the two of you. Alastor was confused before his smile got wider.

A green leash was appareating around your neck and the end of the chain was resting inside his palm. You tried to take off the collar but you couldn’t do anything and Alastor knew why.

As soon as you grabbed his hands, you made some kind of deal with him. You accepted a deal which was: Stay with me a little longer.

You didn’t know what you did, Alastor didn’t know how he made it but when he was pulled toward Hell, he couldn’t help but laugh as he saw you following him, falling like him, being strangled by the leash he desperately held on. You weren’t going anywhere.

You made him discover new things, you had to take responsibilities now. A new game had begun, but this time, you would be by his side as a player yourself, and not a victim. But it was your fault after all.

You made him fall for you, it was only right that you fell for him too.

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enhalusional · 2 months

Text

𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 (𝙽.𝚁𝙺)

New school always brings new beginnings. But this wasn't your beginning. It was the end.

Word count: 1.4k

Based on multiple requests.

Niki knew you were here before he even saw you. It was evident in the way his heart hammered on his chest. Whom would it beat for like this if not for you?

His existence of 19 years wasn't worth anything. He wallowed in keeping away from people. He just hated being around people. His mind was always blank, like an old television static. He felt nothing. No anger, sadness, happiness, nothing.

The you happened. The first ray of light in the pitch blackness that was his life. You had stood there in front of the class, looking around nervously as you introduced yourself.

"Hello. My name is y/n..."

His brain short-circuited. In years, he felt something. He had been so used to feeling empty that he didn't even know what this was. He had stared at your small frame. He found the baby fat on your cheeks cute. Your auburn hair reached your waist in lustrous waves. He had the urge to count small freckles across your cheekbones. And when you looked at him with your green eyes? He knew he wanted you.

Rest under the cut

That was 2 months ago. Now when you entered the class, wearing a cute little floral dress that reached just above your knee, hair tied up in two small half ponytails, he found you more beautiful than he did the previous day, the day before that and so on. You grabbed attention of every other boy in the class. He knows so many of them have a crush on you. But no one dared to approach you.

You might wonder why anytime you striked a conversation with any of them, they'd excuse themselves and run away. You would feel sad. And he would be there for you, to get your mind off of others. And moreover, he knew you only had eyes for him. Why else would you ignore all those people staring at you and plop down beside him?

"Morning, ki~" you sang.

"Morning, baby." He greeted back with a wide smile. "You look pretty."

He just called you baby nowadays. You took it as a term of his childish endearment. Though for him it wasn't one. You were best friends. Fate was working in his favor when you had sat next to him on the first day. You were the first person he had spoken to willingly. And you immediately become friends with him.

"Oh thank you..." you flip your hair.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked you.

"Eh...had to stay up late. Regression sucks." You said.

"I told you to sleep well. Study can be done anytime." He frowned.

When will you start taking care of yourself?

"Really I think I should change my study time. I hate writing exams in my dreams." You huffed.

His dreams were all you. He saw himself sleeping next to you, breathing in your perfume. Your smile right next to his. Sometimes it was cute like this. But sometimes it went much further. You under him, whining for his attention. He would tease you in the start. Until you become impatient. But you'd just look so ethereal to him that he wouldn't be able to stop himself any longer.

Someone called you and you wave at a classmate. You excuse yourself and walk over to the other side of the classroom to talk to another friend of yours. A girl obviously. He only ever allowed girls to speak to you. And that's why it was a surprise when another boy walked over to you and you spoke to him as well.

Niki narrowed his eyes. How could you look so happy speaking to a boy who wasn't him? And that boy...liked you.

For a long time, Niki had wondered and amused about his lack of emotions. So much so that he started to keep a journal about various expressions people make and what they felt at the moment just to get a better understanding of emotions. The result wasn't what he desired, but at least he could read people's eyes like an open book.

And right now, both yours and the boy's eyes were shining. The kind that he had come to associate with liking someone. Niki gripped the pen in his hands. How dare he look at you like that? How dare he make you smile like that? Poor you. That boy was trapping you in his web and you had no idea. When that boy patted your head, Niki lost it.

***************************

All he saw was red.

Red everywhere.

On the walls.

On the floor.

On his hands.

And the boy in front of him, lying in a pool of red.

Niki sat down on the chair in front of the boy. The boy was almost dead. Blood seeped from his clothes from the places where Niki had plunged a knife. Honestly, Niki had lost count of the stabs after a point. The only place left unscathed was the boy's face. Why? Just so Niki could be reminded of the face that had intrigued you so much. And because he had kept it for the last. He got up from the chair and bent down. The boy barely had his eyes open. He pulled out a blade from his pocket and pressed it onto his cheek. The boy's mouth opened in a silent scream.

"You still have a lot of energy even after I cut your tongue off." Niki clicked his tongue.

He slashed a slanting lone across his face. And repeated the same with the other side.

"Now...the best part." He muttered.

The smile he had given you earlier. Niki pressed the blade at the corner of his mouth and tore the side downwards. He did the same on the other side as well. Blood poured out of the boy's face before finally, the light in his eyes went out.

"There. Now smile."

And Niki felt a smile creeping up his own lips.

*************************

A year passed. By now, you were starting to form a crush on your best friend. You thought it was embarrassingly cliché. But you couldn't help it.

It was around the middle of the year when you were going home alone from a supermarket. And two people had followed you. You hadn't even gotten to the point of screaming before they had clamped your mouth shut and dragged you off into a dark alleyway.

But your best friend was there before anything could happen. That was the first time your heart had thumped so wildly in your chest. Watching Niki bring down a glass bottle on your perpetrators' head was too brutal for you. You couldn't recognize your friend at all. And you were scared at first when he approached you.

You had gulped and backed away from him. Until he had forced you into a hug. Without meaning to, you found yourself relaxing against him. And when he wiped your tears while comforting you, for the first time, your heart was thumping for an entirely different reason.

From then on, there was something between you two. You couldn't explain it in words. But it was palpable in the way your hugs had become frequent and longer. His hand holding your head against him and the way you fiddled with the sleeve of his clothes while talking about anything. But the tension just stayed there. Never actually leading to anything.

But what you didn't know was that Niki just didn't want to scare you off. He was just waiting for you to make the first move. His way of showing his love was mainly in the multiple murders he had committed in the past year. His way, was to make sure the screams echoed in the basement as he relished in the thrill of killing for you.

Every boy who had the audacity of making heart eyes towards you, every person who put you in danger or made you cry was gone. Over the time, he had become better at hiding it. He had found a perfect spot where he could bury the bodies without anyone suspecting him.

The missing people in the town were never found and the cases were simply closed. Because who would even check the garden of an elderly couple in their 80s who lived in a secluded house? After all, you were his. And he could and would go to any lengths to make sure you stayed his.

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hongjoongscafe · 4 months

Text

Bloody Love.

Chapter: VIII-Wings-

♠︎Pairing: yandere!king!jungkookxoc(coronis)

♠︎Genre: angst, smut, yandere, gore, dark romance, horror, creepy (dark fantasy).

♠︎Summary: "you happen to be in a world where wrong is right and right is wrong."

♠︎Word count: 4.4k+

♠︎Warning: blow job, indirect mentions of rape (not from jk's end!), ghosts.

♠︎Note: lemme know if you wanna be added to the permanent or specific taglist!

♠︎Masterpost

♠︎Serieslist.

Lost. That was all Coronis knew. She lost her life. There were chains around her ankles, wrists, and neck. The hold was in the hands of one of the Royal men who rode the horse with the other four walking like pillars.

Her hair was sticking to her face, her sweat was running down her face and dropping on the ground. Even in this ungodly winter, she was burning.

The soles of her feet were bleeding down the path. And the muddy stones were clinging to her wounded feet, deepening them, reminding her of the gore of her life that it turned into.

Life has never been forgiving to anyone and it only took and took and took. It was a game of time, where only those who survived cheated their ways. And those who died, who died every day.

The grey of the sky and howling of the wind didn't scare the woman that Coronis had become. Instead, they showered the comfort of the fact that she was not the only one having the deeper turmoil of fucked up emotions. All of them grey and thunderously howling.

Harder, it always got harder. And now it was the hardest to even take a step ahead. Knowing that death was waiting behind those tall walls of the hell called the castle. Waiting for her in the craving of lust… the lust of blood.

Hours had passed since they started dragging her like a dead cow on the muddy lanes of the village. The people took the greatest pleasure in seeing a woman being humiliated.

It seemed like it was in the human nature of men to humiliate, degrade, and bury a woman who stood a chance in class. A woman who was more intellectual than them. They hated it. And took them down until no respect was left for their poor feminine name.

An object. That's what a woman was and is and will remain for a chunk of men. A woman whose religion is her man and her holy scriptures is her man’s order. They live under their horrid boots and get stepped on by many others under that boot.

As they took Coronis away the men looked. Some smirked and threw names at her and some made up fucked up stories that were nowhere near her fucked up truth.

Only if they knew.

The anger erupted inside her head and her face twitched as the events of the day echoed in her burning head.

“No, my love. You must know what it costs for your actions. For your betrayal.”

The King smirked under his mask and took Coronis's hair in his fist, pushing her out of the alley. “No one disregards what I say,” he whispered in her ear, the roughness of his voice stood out. “If they do indeed do that, they are met with the hell of their eternities. Now be a good fucking bitch and walk to your little shack.”

His hold on her hair tightened, making her yelp in pain before he released and pushed her.

Her breath was shallow, and coming in pants. There was no way out of such commotion. And she had to run through it. At least, to protect those who were close to her.

Coronis took heavy steps, trying not to break down in front of the man who got on his horse to see the drama unfold for his pleasure. This was the beginning of the sick pleasure. She knew it.

People gathered around as Coronis arrived at her shack, looking paler than before. There was a tremble in her shoulders and unshed tears in her eyes. They, too, took pleasure in seeing the drama.

She was the puppet and he was the puppet master. Coronis scoffed, thinking that everyone in her vision was his puppet. He played them all and dropped them when their wires broke or joints didn't move as swiftly as he wanted.

And what happened after?

They burn.

They all fucking burn.

They all burn in despair. They burn in hell. They burn in vengeance.

And then they fall on the ashes of the poor and become one with them.

This is how His Majesty's world worked. And anyone who disturbed the cycle shall meet the same fate.

The King, with his head ever high in the sky, got off the horse, “Tell me, pretty thing. Where did you keep it?” he asked as he played with a lock of her hair.

Circe was inside. There was no way in hell she wanted her to see him. So she stood on her grounds. The silence ticked the king’s patience. His jaw clenched as he wrapped his fist around her hair and pulled her ear close to his mouth. “You either be an obedient little birdy and show me where you kept it or be a bitch and I look for it myself… and remember, little birdy, if I do… I’ll finish whoever steps in front of me. Get it?” He said as his lips brushed her ear.

Coronis felt her anger consuming her. Finally, she stepped inside her shack with the dark shadow following her through. She quickly went inside her slot and opened the trunk where she had kept the damn thing away.

Her shaky hands fumbled around in the trunk and took hold of the dainty chain. The bone locket rocked side to side like a pendulum in slow motion. However, a big hand wrapped around it and snatched it from Coronis’s hand.

The king looked at the bone with strange emotions in his eyes. It was almost like he thawed and showed a human beneath the monster. But it was gone in a blink.

Maybe she hallucinated. He wasn't capable of that. He had no emotions in his blood.

His eyes snapped at her. They were cold and ruthless. No emotion. No sign of life. Just as good as the eyes of the dead.

“You called it upon yourself, little birdy,” his voice was low as his eye twitched. “Say goodbye to your little family… but when the sky will loom with wrath, they will take you to me,” he whispered as his eyes grew psychotic with each word. “Don’t fight if you want your family to live.”

Coronis was thankful for one thing. They, who were taking her to her death, didn't put a hand on her. She had grown up seeing these men putting their bloodied hands on women they took to their deaths and humiliating them in front of everyone. No shame for anyone just dripping in lust and taking the sole respect of a woman away before she could die. They stained their souls. Souls… if they could, they would catch those mourning souls and humiliate them, too.

A sick reality that wasn't just bound to this hell of His Majesty but everywhere on this round living hell of a world.

No one was safe. Children, women, men, older… they were all puppets. A pawn in His game.

Through the dense fog, she could make out the house of horrors. The tall, black, and gory castle stood high up. Its pointy peaks pierced through the sky.

Coronis had heard about this. It was a place better not seen. This was the place where the hell formed, where The Monster lived…

The narrow-staired bridge came down the way. The captors aligned themselves. Now they were in a straight line. Two ahead of her and two behind her. The pathway was narrow, one mistake and she could fall below.

Who knew what lived down there?

As she followed them to the inferno, her burning skin got a cold whip of air. The cold. That's what she thought it was. Until… the whispers echoed—

Come on pretty girl, come down here. It said.

Look! Look here, it's so pretty here and- and so peaceful! The other one whispered.

Don't cross the door. You're gonna die! Someone whispered, crying. It was the voice of an old lady. A shivering old lady.

He is going to ravage you… kill you. You won't even acknowledge your own face! They laughed.

You are going to end up here anyway, pretty thing. Come! Just come down here already! You will save him time. A sweet voice whispered.

What a waste of that pretty face, they said, sadly, what's the point of such glassy skin and those black hair and eyes when there is no regard for that? A snarky voice chirped.

Coronis looked around, eyes wide open. Have I gone maniac? She asked herself.

Oh! She hears us! Sweety, we were once in your position. A voice giggled.

How are you so pretty? Why so little blood on you? Huh? Some of us here were already dead by the time we reached this bridge.

They threw me here because I was half dead.

You should jump off right now!

How could she? She is protected by them. Look! They have her tied securely. Even if she did jump, they would catch her.

She must be someone important to Him.

Shut up! No one is important to Him!

The whispers evaded her head as they grew louder and louder. The one, very precisely, stood out from the rest…

Get away. You are going to die horribly.

Die.

The hysteria rose within her and the adrenaline rushed through her blood. It was only when the captors stopped she realized they had crossed the bridge and were in front of the humongous metal doors.

The adrenaline blinded her throughout the journey. She looked back and could not see more than a few meters. The fog was too dense and it seemed as if the other side didn't exist at all. As if she entered a whole other world. Even worse from where she came.

The captors got off the horses. The horses were escorted back as the metal doors creaked open. The guards passed, tugging her in with them.

The inside was steady. As if no one lived there. However, she could see some men standing in their positions. All dressed in black, holding their swords or axes. Their half of the faces were only covered with sheer cloth. Not as much as they wore while lurking in the village.

The front was a huge garden, filled with black, white and red roses, and dried shrubs. It looked abandoned. Lifeless. An illusion of death around the thorny beauty of roses, one could say.

The guards pulled her through the thorny path and took her in through a much smaller door.

The inside was dark and eerie. Huge black chandeliers, barely reflecting the orange of the mashal, were hanging down the path they took. The Gothic design followed throughout. If she wasn't bleeding and brought here like an object, she would have been amazed. It was unlikely, she had never seen something remotely as beautiful as this.

“She is here,” a guard spoke with another guard standing outside of another set of doors. This was distinguishable from the others. The rest were metal but this was a black, velvety door.

The four guards removed their masks as the doors opened. “Now, when we go inside, you need to bow down to His Majesty,” one of the guards said, tugging her inside.

Court. It was the court of His Majesty.

The scent of roses filled her nose as she stepped inside. She saw six women standing there, three on each side, with their heads lowered. They wore black dresses that left very little to the fantasy. Although, they were draped with mesh cloth.

They walked in, and Coronis’ feet left bloodied imprints on the floor.

Coronis slowly took in what was in front of her. There were big, black seats. What appeared to be the members of the court, were sitting on them. Every man sat was accompanied by two ladies dressed the same as the six others. There were three on each side.

Her eyes came back to the centre. Royal stairs were leading her eyes up and up and up until her eyes fell on the lady kneeling between long legs. Coronis followed those legs. She noticed a large hand clutching the hair of the lady and pushed and pulled on it.

She could see his big chest through the opening of his robe blouse. His chest was defined and she could see the pointy bits poking through the silky material. His chest was moving up and down as he breathed heavily.

Following the path of his thick glassy neck as it bobbed when he groaned hoarsely, her eyes fell on The Creation of the Devil. Her mouth fell open when she saw His face. It was the art of the devil. Sinfully sculpted monster. He had a chiselled jaw, clear skin, and a perfect nose. His eyes were closed as his head was resting back on his high chair. The big crown was held high on it, signifying his power over his kingdom.

She gasped as her eyes snapped to the whole scene, realizing what he was doing to her.

Nobody seemed to care but no one wanted to disrupt his euphoria either. But her gasp did.

The King's eyes slowly opened as his smirk grew. He looked at her with those same piercing eyes that she had been having nightmares about.

No way he was so sinfully beautiful. His cunning features were sharp, reflecting his influence and his confidence among his people. He was breathtaking and clean.

She had always envisioned Him to be an older man. With a dirty self and skanky looks. But oh was she wrong. But the monster living under his skin was all of those things. He was the Satan who lured innocents with his ethereal handsome looks to manipulate them to hell.

The monsters come in good faces, Coro. Never forget that, her mother has said once. She was right.

His Majesty let out a breathy moan as he chuckled. “Oh, we are here, aren't we,” he hummed as he shoved his cock deeper into the lady’s mouth, feeling ever so aroused in his Birdy's warm presence. This time, his satiny voice was not muffled behind the mask he wore.

The guards bowed down, pulling her along them and made her kneel in front of Him. Her forehead touched the ground roughly.

The King groaned, not liking how his pretty little birdy was bowing making her pretty little face hide behind her dark black hair.

“Let me see that pretty face,” he rasped. The guards pulled her up by the chains until she was standing again. “Hm,” he hummed as his cock twitched inside the lady's mouth. He was about to finish down her throat by just looking at his little birdy. “So, pretty but a fucking bitch. Can't even obey one thing I asked her.” he tsked, shaking his head in disappointment.

Coronis was scared, who wouldn't be when you are surrounded by a pack of bloodthirsty wolves? But she tried to not let it slip. She stood on her ground and looked into his hazel, burning eyes.

The King's gaze darkened as he shoved the lady's head deeper, holding her there until she was unable to breathe. “You shall obey every command I give you. Nobody has the power to deny it. And you did! And you shall now pay the price,” he darkly said and let go of the lady. “You must remember your place, little birdy. Or you might get in trouble with the unspeakable. Now tell me, will you obey your lord?”

Coronis looked at him, panting with boiling rage. Forcefully, she nodded.

“Words!” He snapped, making her and the lady flinch. “You use your goddamn words!” he sneered.

She took a deep breath and muttered, “Yes, my Lord.” She looked like the words physically pained her. “I will obey.”

A dark smirk flashed on his face. “We will see that. Now take her away and lock her up!” He commanded his men.

The guards tugged her with them after bowing once more. The last thing she saw of the king was him shoving the lady away from his lap as his eyes stayed focused on hers with a dirty smirk dancing across his thin, sinister lips.

…

The slammer was small. It barely had any space to move. One Mashal was burning in the corner of the box. There was no gap in the wall for a skylight. No sign of day or night. No sign of the outside world. No sign of life.

Coronis’ body was aching. She had been sitting here for days as it felt. The only interaction she got other than talking to herself in her mind was when the guards brought food. The food was one stale bread. Sometimes with mold on it. She kept the count of the meals served. If she wasn't wrong, it had been two days since she was brought here.

Her clothes were the same one from that horrid day. She couldn't even use the hole for a toilet at the corner as at least one guard always kept an eye on her. Her insides were hurting but she refused to show them any more of her skin.

Their smirks and scoffs were humiliating her enough.

She missed her home. Her mother's delicious food. Circe's warm hugs. Her father’s quirky remarks. And her brother’s protection.

It felt lonely and depressing. Never did she realise how much she relied on them until now when she was far away from them. All this time she kept whining about them relying on her but she was the one relying on them for sanity.

She wondered what they were doing, whether they were missing her or considered her dead. She didn't even get to properly say goodbye to them.

~~~

Circe clung to Coronis. She was numb, knowing her sister would never come back. She just sat in her lap and took all the comfort she had to give to her.

“I will miss you,” the little girl whispered.

Coronis hugged her tight, “Me too…” she kissed her forehead. “Promise me you won't disobey Mumma and Papa and our brother. Okay? See what happens when you go out? You get in trouble that costs you your life. Don't repeat what I did,” she patted her back for comfort. She wasn't even sure who she was comforting more, herself or her little sister.

Circe nodded and a soft sob escaped her throat. “I won’t.”

“Take care of everyone. Don't let them fall, okay? And you are going to look after yourself, too, for me,” Coronis found it hard to let go of the tiny being in her arms. Nothing could ever prepare her for this.

Her father and brother were away for work. They couldn't even meet her before she left for good. She could only hug their belongings, filled with their scent to her heart and feel them with her eyes closed.

Her mother was a mess. She had fainted when she came to know about the whole deal. She blamed herself for this. The moment she woke up, she prepared Coronis’s favourite food. She wanted her to go with her stomach full. She sat her down and fed with her own hands.

“Coro, we love you, okay? You are loved, my child. Never forget that,” she kept repeating.

Coronis found it hard to look into her eyes but she did, for the last time before they dragged her away from them.

She didn't look back, knowing her mother and sister were not fine. If she had, she wasn't even certain if she could leave them like this. There was no choice but to leave.

The dark beauty left her heart behind in the shack with her family.

~~~

Tears of despair tracked down Coronis’ scratched face. She felt cold. Not the one because of winter but because of the distance between her family.

She had nothing left, except these tight walls of hell. She was ruined, destroyed and left to rot. If one thing she could change, she would have. She would have stayed in her shack that day. She could have kept her head down or gone inside of some seller. Anything but looking into death's eyes.

Silent cries were all she could afford here in this dark place.

Two shadows loomed outside of her space. The guards. She curled in a ball and hid her face from them. She couldn't bear looking at them.

“What do you say? Should we use this fucking thing?” one of them said in a low voice.

“Are you fucking quipping me?! If He finds out, He will skin us alive and drink our blood like a bloodthirsty hound,” the other one screeched.

“How would he know? We won't leak a word to anyone. Just look at that fine flesh. I bet she is nice and tight,” the guard moaned.

Coronis closed her eyes tightly, wishing that it was just a sick nightmare that would end soon in death. The final piece.

“She is His prized possession. I won't take a chance with her…” the second one said. “Maybe just let Him have his merriment and then when he gets what he wants, we can take over.”

They scoffed. But quickly rushed away when the main door to the slammer banged opened. The heavy boots thumped against the concrete floor and stopped right in front of Coronis’ space. She assumed it was one of the guards.

The gate of her slammer opened and the tiny space was consumed by a heavy presence.

There it was, that unique musky scent. Her eyes shot open and looked above her. And there he stood, His Majesty.

His lips curved into a thin smirk, deepening his little dimple. The broad chest was bare for her eyes. She could make all eight pecs on his abdomen very precisely. His long luscious hair was half-tied behind and his shorter loose hair fell on his eyes.

There was a wickedness in his glint. Menace. That's how it came across like. He was hungry and he came down to devour her.

It looked like her time finally came to an end.

“My little birdy has never looked so dirty. We shall change that, shouldn't we?” he cooed.

Coronis shifted and tried to sit up straight, but her body wasn't shifting how she wanted. She ended up limping against the dirty wall.

“I don't like you here, my birdy. I think you belong in an amenity, next to me like my pretty little birdy. Isn't that right… little birdy?” he crouched down, His finger lightly grazing her cheekbone.

She was shivering like a leaf in a storm as she hurried to the far corner, not wanting to have His hands on her. But he was fast to hold her bruised ankle and pull her closer to his sickening warmth. Her pretty little feet were swollen, bloodied, and- and needed care. His care.

His pretty little birdy was in pain, he realized. He told them not to hurt his birdy but here she was, all bruised and wounded. Her pretty little face was scratched, and her eyes were dull and swollen, aching from crying.

What else was she hiding under her dirty white gown?

“My birdy…” he whispered. “My little porcelain doll, they broke you? Poor thing,” he kissed her ankle, making her flinch.

“Y-you can't b-break something that has been turned into ashes long ago,” she sobbed. She hated that she got so weak in front of Him. He was nothing but a fear of destruction. He held authority over her and she hated that she let him.

“Why do you think I brought you here, hm? I shall heal you, my little birdy,” he whispered as his hand caressed her hair. He was gentle with her. Just as he said– his porcelain little doll. “We shall heal together,” he quietly whispered, not letting her know his silent words.

His Majesty looked around in the slammer, he saw how the bread had not been eaten and was rotting near the toilet. He looked pained, his thick eyebrows narrowed together. As if he could feel her pain.

In a sick, twisted way, she felt comforted. His touches were gentle and meant no harm. As much as she was scared, she yearned for this, a bit of warmth.

But her rational mind took over, making her aware of the menaces of this heartless tool. “Please,” she begged.

He cocked his head to the side, “Please what, little birdy? What are you begging for?” He gently held her jaw and made her look into his eyes. “I think I should be the one begging for you to give me yourself,” his thumb played with her trembling bottom lip.

Coronis shook her head vigorously to get his hands off her face, “please let me go,” she begged again. “I won't say a word to anybody. Just let me go back to my family. I want to go back!”

“I am your family!” He snapped. “I didn't bring you here to let you walk out. I brought you here to keep you and nourish you like the doll you are!” the understanding of the situation was out of Coronis’ reach.

She wondered why she was so different in his eyes that he wanted to nourish her. She wondered why she was His little birdy or a porcelain doll that he didn't want to break.

Oblivious of her blinding beauty, she questioned His thinking.

“You belong here, Coronis,” He said, sternly with softness at the edge of His rough voice. “You belong right next to me.”

She shook her head as tears poured out of her eyes and down her cheeks.

“This was your punishment,” He whispered, looking around the dingy slammer. “I hate to keep you here, little birdy… you need to be reminded that my command is your obligation, your duty and that you must fulfill it with all your heart. I think now you won't ever forget that. And if you do…” He shook His head, His expression as if He was scared. “It won’t be a bearable punishment,” the faces of all of his convicts who were punished by his hands. He didn't want to paint a picture of her in that dungeon of slayings. She was too pretty and too precious to be in that picture. His Majesty's heart squeezed thinking about it. He shook his head, “you can not be in there. I won't take you there for your punishment. No no no,” He whispered to himself.

The thought of losing this beauty was far too dreadful to be having.

Coronis looked at the King dealing with his own commotion deep down his hazel eyes. She gasped when he pulled her in his embrace, her cheek against his bare chest. She could hear his heart beating like a storm.

“I can't let that happen,” He whispered. “I can't lose you, too. I will protect you,” He kissed her hair as he kept whispering to himself.

Coronis realized she was not getting out, not alive, not dead.

She couldn't figure out if this was the end or the beginning of her tale.

Perhaps, this was going to be the beginning of an end.

Her fate was sealed with His. She was bound to serve him in this lifetime.

She accepted her fate and melted in His chest. Her tears stopped and her mind numbed. The last thing she heard while she felt faded kisses on her head before, out of strain, she lost consciousness was—

“I'm going to keep you under my wing forever, my little birdy.”

…..

Sanaa's note:

The behaviour of all the characters is visualized.

Taglist:

@veneziamadness @cheline @sansmilkbread @jayb17 @constantlydelulusional @8tinytings @tea4sykes @chimmisbae

@darkuni63 @mageprincess7 @whipwhoops @ackercute @ane102 @kimseokjinsmirror1233 @unhingedgf @jungkooks21 @namjoonscrabjuice @yluv-damara-13 @jksgirlhere @lavenderymoons @passionandsuga @posionapple24 @blueberry711 @shawtylilsalty @gukiebaby @vantelover07 @douknowbts @andioppsworld @xicanacorpse @ttanniett @koohrs @crazy-eight17 @jesshujk @sadxaries @fantasticwarl @catlove83 @iveivory @lippynabiii @igotnojamsz @deadgolgibody

Have nice day/night💓

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berryz-writes · 4 months

Text

Jealousy

PART 2

Azriel x reader

Summary: Your forced to spend the weekend with Azriel the bane of your existence but little do you realize he doesn't completely hate you

Nfjznxsfdzfdxj this took a while my other WIP’s were distracting me. also ignore any mistakes, enjoy lovelies <33

part 1

It was torture. Downright torture. Pretending like last night hadn't happened was wreaking havoc on my brain. I didn't know how to forget about it. I couldn't.

The memory of Azriel pulling me closer, his face resting in the crook of my neck, the way his gentle hands rested on my waist, his legs tangled with mine pulling me impossibly closer. Gods I was going to go crazy.

Everywhere it went it seemed his reminders were there. The dagger I was using in training was the one Azriel had given me last solstice when mine had been snatched by an Attor. The laces on my boots were from his because apparently mine weren’t sturdy enough.

“Where do you get your shoes from? These are awful quality” He asked, crouching down in front of me and taking his laces out to adjust them into my boots, all the while muttering about how I could have tripped and hurt myself.

The coffee the cabin had made this morning on my command was made with a hint of cinnamon. Something Azriel had recommended to make the taste better. He was everywhere I went and it was driving me crazy.

He hadn't even mentioned last night once. Didn't even give me some sort of hint that he remembered or that it actually meant something to him. We had continued the day as if everything was normal, his biting remarks more constant and grating.

***

"We're going back on Monday" Azriel called out to me unwrapping the white gauze from his knuckles. I pulled out my dagger (yes the same one Azriel had gifted me) from the target piece of wood and frowned. Two days later? "Why aren't we going today?"

Azriel didn't look at me, instead he put his daggers in his belt making sure each one was in the proper position before replying "If I've said it there's probably a reason why. Do you have to ask questions every time?"

My frown deepened as I surveyed him from this distance. He had his wings folded together and his expression was foul as if a personal wrong had been done against him. So what if he was in a mood? Didn't mean he had to be so rude.

"I'm not going to follow your orders blindly. Tell me" I moved closer to him and stopped in front of him, the biting cold of the village hitting me now that I had stopped training. I waited for him to explain why we were spending any longer in a place like this. I yearned for the liveliness and warmth of Velaris. The golden sun beating down on me while I sat on the balcony and sipped on something cold.

We had been gone for one night and I know I was being dramatic but Azriel not giving me answers just annoyed the shit out of me even more.

He continued arranging his daggers and straightening his siphons until he deemed them perfect. Finally looking up to meet my eyes I could tell there was something wrong before he even opened his mouth.

"There's a storm coming. It's not safe to fly tonight" His voice was controlled, as if he were trying to hide his emotions, his eyes not making direct contact with me.

I let out a scoff "And what? Winnowing doesn't exist anymore?" I knew the way I said it would rile him up. Yes I could have phrased it nicely but the way he was acting he didn't deserve it.

Eyes narrowing and his jaw clenching Azriel took a step closer to me. And then another until he was just inches away from me. His warmth radiated to me, my head having to tilt up slightly so I could look at his gorgeous face properly.

His voice was soft, the deadly stillness with which he stood unnerving me. "Velaris's shields have been compromised. Rhys is doing all he can from anyone finding out and if we break that balance. If we winnow in then that means the shield breaks." He scanned my features as if waiting for me to reply "Do you want the safety of all those people in jeopardy because of you?" His voice was quiet now, his breath blowing over me as he spoke.

A million thoughts invaded my mind as I thought of what he had stated. How had Velaris been compromised? And by who? And what was Rhys doing? I wondered if everyone back home was alright.

I took a deep breath trying not to get angry and understand the situation we were in “How long are we stuck here for?”

It was Azriel’s turn to take a deep breath as if he knew the answer wouldn’t be one I wanted. “Minimum two more days''

Two whole days. I was going to go insane here. Either I would die from arguing with the brainless Illyrians or from hypothermia. A sudden blast of cold air hit me, reminding me of where I was stuck and who it was with. Sighing, I shook away my thoughts. I was being ungrateful. Azriel wasn’t so bad. And who knew what everyone else was going through. I opened my mouth to ask exactly that when he cut in “Everyone's fine. If it was serious we would have been called back for help whether the storm was brewing or not”

I nodded my head, the knot in my stomach loosening. As long as everyone was fine. Azriel nodded his head to the path that led to the cabin we were now sharing “You should go. I need to inform Keller of our prolonged stay”

I took it as his way of dismissing me and not wanting to talk to me. Turning around and starting down the frosted path, the warmth that engulfed me from Azriel's body evaporated completely, my footsteps quickening to reach the cabin. Slamming the cabin door shut I took out my hair tie and sat on the bed anger and disappointment flowing through me. The fire immediately started, the crackling sound the only noise in the wooden house.

He was ignoring what had happened yesterday. He was being insufferable. He hadn’t even asked me, talked to me, mentioned it to me even once. I shifted through each word we had shared this morning and none of them consisted of him acknowledging last night.

Azriel didn’t even tell me he wanted to forget last night, instead he let my imagination run wild on thinking if he regretted it or not.

Maybe I was the over dramatic one. We hadn’t had sex, we hadn’t even kissed. But it felt like there was something else when he pulled me closer except for mutual dislike.

Flopping back onto the soft bed I decided thinking of other things would do me some good. Anything other than Azriel at this point.

Sitting up again and rifling through the side table drawers I finally found a slightly inky pen and a scrunched up piece of paper.

Hi Feyre, I heard what happened with the shield. I just wanted to check in and make sure everyone was fine. Give lots of kisses to Nyx from me.

Ending the note with my name I vanished it away hoping Feyre would reply with some good news. In the time that I had done that Azriel walked in, flipping a dagger in his hand, his shadows moving slowly across his wings. I rolled my eyes at his arrogance and refused to start a conversation with him. If he could ignore what happened yesterday and act like it didn’t matter then so could I. I wasn’t going to act like an attention whore. No way.

“What do you want to eat?” Was what he asked, settling into the armchair opposite me. I refused to look at him and instead let my eyes travel to the window where the sun was setting.

“I’m not hungry” I finally replied when I could tell from his relentless gaze that he would not look away, his hazel eyes fixated on my every move, my every breath.

A scoff escaped him and I turned to look at him, my eyes narrowed. Moving further back on to the bed I kicked off my boots and sat cross legged.

“You’re always hungry at this time, don’t lie to me” Azriel stated. Raising an eyebrow and waiting for me to contradict him. I couldn’t. I was being annoying and difficult on purpose. Of course I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten since this morning.

Running a hand through his hair Azriel stood up and moved over to the small kitchen on the other side of the cabin. The cupboards contained any and every ingredient. I watched as he pulled out a different variety of ingredients and with the way he was looking at each one closely he didn’t know where to start.

“Move. I’ll do it” I announced, getting off the bed and sliding across the floorboard to the mini kitchen. Azriel leaned sideways on the countertop, a slight smirk on his face as he watched me look at each ingredient.

“What are you going to make?” He asked, clearly amused by something. Picking up the can of tomatoes I put them to the right, making a useful and bin category.

“It doesn’t matter what I make, we both know you’re going to eat it” I replied, my eyebrows furrowed from concentration and the slight annoyance I held toward him. A sigh escaped his perfect lips as he folded his wings back

“Why are you angry at me?”

I didn’t look at him, instead filled the metal pan with water and used my magic to heat it up. Once the bubbles had risen to the surface I added the raw pasta with a pinch of salt.

“Y/n” His voice was sharp. Demanding. “Look at me”

Finally turning to look at him my heart stopped beating for a good minute. Gods he was……he was something else. His warm eyes raked over my expression as if trying to find the reason for my annoyance, his lips looking as inviting as ever.

“What?” My voice didn’t come out as strong as I wanted to, instead it came out quiet and breathless.

“What have I done wrong?” Azriel’s voice was softer than I expected, reminding me of last night.

I decided to take the leap. I had had enough of evading the truth “You’re acting like last night didn’t happen. You’re ignoring me”

Rather than an annoying smirk or a laugh coming from Azriel his eyebrows furrowed “I didn’t want you to feel like I expected something of you. And gods knows I can’t ignore you y/n. You’re perfect”

I let out an exasperated sigh, the steam from the boiling water making it warmer than it was before “I thought you wanted to forget about it. I’m not inside your brain Azriel”

Anger was there in his eyes but it vanished as soon as he saw my hurt expression “I’ve wanted you for so long. Every time I look at you I'm reminded that you aren’t mine. Every time you smile my heart beats faster and I don’t even know why” I swallowed at his words. What he was saying.

He had liked me this whole time and I hadn't even realized. We were both as ignorant as each other. It was now or never.

“Make me yours then Azriel” I whispered back, waiting to see what he would say. His hands tilted my chin up and his lips met mine in the softest kiss possible. Moving his hands to my waist he lifted me up and sat me on the counter, slotting himself between my legs. Automatically my hands went to his curly hair, pulling him impossibly closer.

The world had something against me I thought as the note I had sent Feyre arrived next to me. Azriel moved slightly back, giving me space to breathe. I didn't want that space but I didn’t say anything. I picked up the note and read it out loud, confusion increasing.

Hi y/n,

Nyx says he misses you lots and wants you to come back. Everyone’s alright here, same as when you left.

I’m not sure what you mean by the shield though? Is everything alright?

Putting the note down I slid off the marble top and looked at Azriel, hoping for answers.

“Does Feyre not know about-”

He cut me off, his hand against my mouth, startling me. His body pressed against mine, my back against the kitchen counter.

“I lied. I wanted to stay with you for as long as possible. I would ask for your forgiveness but I’m not sorry for what I’ve done” His eyes twinkled with amusement, his deep voice washing over me. It took me a while to understand what he was actually saying, his proximity short circuiting my brain. He removed his hand waiting for me to reply.

“Anything else you’ve lied about Shadowsinger?” I finally asked, my words coming out quietly.

His head dipped to my neck, his lips pressing small kisses on my collarbone and making his way up to my jaw.

“I broke the cabin. I also fucked up that guy who called you a whore. Other than that…I’m an honest male” He murmured. My breath hitched as he attacked my skin, clearly wanting to leave a mark there. His hands had me caged, with no escape and I didn’t have it in me to be mad at him for lying. Yes he had broken the cabin. But if he hadn’t we wouldn’t have spent the night together and I would have never realized that Azriel harboured feelings for me. He had also gone out of his way to defend me when he didn’t need to.

I wanted to kiss him rather than shout at him for his confession.

“I say we skip to dessert” Azriel whispered, his eyes full of desire, finally looking at me. My heart skipped a beat at his words but I swallowed and shook away my want for him.

“Dessert is for after” I pushed against his chest to let me go but he held my wrists firmly “Promise I get dessert?”

I pretended to think about it, tilting my head “Hmm we’ll see”

Azriel’s eyes darkened but he let me go, my stomach tightening at the way he looked at me. I wanted him so bad. So god damn bad. But now that I had told him to wait I couldn’t go back on my words. Not to mention Azriel was probably already thinking of ways to make me beg for him.

I wouldn’t mind that of course.

MASTERLIST

#azriel x reader #acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #azriel acotar #a court of thorns and roses #azriel spymaster #acotar x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel fic #azriel fanfic

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abiatackerman · 5 months

Text

Too Late

Warnings: Angst, character death.

You knock on Levi's room while your heart is beating loudly with excitement and nervousness.

Today you're here to confess your love to him.

You love him a lot! Crazily! So madly that if he insults you even a little, you wanna cry like hell. Maybe he understands that because you noticed he doesn't act rough or rude around you. Not to mention he always inspects if you're getting a proper meal three times a day, getting enough sleep, maintaining cleanliness and all... Also he always seems to save you whenever you're in danger.

These things gave you hope because he never does these things with anyone else but you. Maybe he likes you? Maybe he'll accept your feelings? Because you don't know what'll you do if he rejects you.

"Name and business!"

You are pulled out of your thoughts when you hear his rough voice. You speak nervously as always.

"Y/N, captain. Need to discuss something with you."

"Come in and make it quick!"

He replies calmly as you enter his room. He's sitting on his chair, doing paperwork. He's looking handsome as always. In your eyes he's always handsome.... You gulp nervously as Levi looks directly at your face and you start speaking as clearly as you can.

"Captain, I just wanted to thank you for being caring towards me and for always protecting me...."

You look at him as you try to speak those three words but they won't just come out of your damn mouth. You're too nervous.

"I'm just doing my duty. Are you finished? If you're, then leave."

He says calmly and looks back into the papers as you gulp again. You feel your heart clenches a bit to his rude reply. So you take a deep breath and speak bluntly and quickly.

"Captain, I love you."

Levi's hand pauses on the paper as he slowly looks up at you. You try to search for some emotions in his face. But there are none. He's looking nonchalant as always. You feel nervous as hell as his lips move. You wanna run away. You don't wanna hear the words....

"Y/N, we're in a middle of a war, fighting for humanity. Our hearts are dedicated to humanity, not to some particular person. I've noticed you're a soft person so I decided to act kindly towards you because I hate tantrums and unnecessary problems. But it seems like you took my kindness into something else. I didn't expect that from you and I definitely don't appreciate it."

You flinch as you feel your eyes immediately tear up. You don't want to sob in front of him or even cry.... But you can't just stop.

"Did you not..... Ever.... Felt anything towards me?"

You ask as your head is hung low and tears keep falling shamelessly on your cheeks. You somehow manage to stop your sobs because you were always the type who cries silently.

"I don't like to repeat myself. I have told you, you took my kindness into something else."

You flinch again as you nod. You take your steps back.

"I'm sorry for wasting your precious time, captain. It won't happen again, I promise."

You say in a broken voice as you leave the room, closing it behind you.

Time skip

Levi clicks his tongue in frustration as he looks around for you. The expedition has ended and the scouts have temporarily been on a spot near the walls just to count the dead bodies and take a note of the missing peoples.

Levi feels his heart beating loudly as he can't find your face anywhere. During the expedition and due to the appearance of some abnormal titans the formation was broken and Levi lost you.

You weren't under his wings, his protection who knows what happened to you? He can't think of your death... He can't! He can't lose you.

"Levi! We have found Y/N"

He immediately looks at Erwin as he hears his voice but flinches. He doesn't like the look Erwin has on his face.

In this whole world only Erwin knows how much Levi loves you....

He glares at Erwin as Erwin looks at him sympathetically. Levi knows the news is bad.

"Don't give me that shitty look Erwin."

Levi hisses and walks towards the place where the new rows of dead bodies are being laid down. He immediately notices yours.... How can't he? You silky soft hair which he always loved is propping out of the white sheet which is covering your body.

He slowly walks towards your body as he kneels down and removes the white sheet from your face. You're laying comfortably, with your eyes closed. It's like you're just sleeping comfortably in your barracks when he would just sneak into your room to check up on you.

But why is he's eyes tearing up? No... He definitely isn't the type of person to cry... Then why his tears are falling on your sleeping face?

Maybe because he has realised that he won't ever have the chance to tell you how much he loves you? Because he won't be able to apologise to you, explaining why he rejected you....

He won't be able to tell you that he thought you two still had enough time. He thought you were safe under his wings and he'll protect you until he'll get the chance to propose to you. He won't be able to tell you how much he dreamt of marrying you, having children with you, spending his whole life with you...

He won't be able to tell you anything....

He covers your face with the sheet as he stands up. His face is stoic and cold and there's no signs of tears in his eyes. He's face is still the same as before as he walks towards his horse.

He never regretted his decision.... But sure as hell, he's regretting rejecting you and he always will....

He wishes he could just accept your feelings and tell you how crazily he loves you.

But it's too late now.

Too late to let you know how he feels.... Too late to save you.......

#levi ackerman #levi aot #levi heichou #captain levi #levi x fem!reader #levi x y/n #levi x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x female reader #levi oneshot #angst #aot fanfiction #levi fanfiction #levi angst #attack on titan #aot #snk

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melrodrigo · 1 year

Text

When The Night Falls - W.A.

Wednesday Addams x Fem!Reader

Summary: Wednesday isn’t soft. But when it comes to a certain someone…

Warnings: Angsty fluffy crap mixed together, mentions of cheating

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: HA! You guys thought I would do something from the poll? I’m an uncontrollable creature. Also, this is semi inspired by ‘reckless’ by madison beer.

Wednesday Addams was not soft. In fact, that was the last word she would ever use to describe herself.

But today, when she had swung open her door, ready to give whoever woke her up at 2 a.m. hell; she was surprised to find out she felt a little bad after seeing your crying figure.

“Wednesday?” You sniffle, swiping at your eyes desperately in an attempt to look somewhat presentable.

The raven-haired girl stares at you blankly, refusing to give away any of the emotions she was feeling.

Eyes all red and puffy, nose tinted pink; she hated to admit it, you look cute.

The thing was, for the past few weeks, Wednesday’s been feeling weird around you.

At first, she thought that maybe you were using your powers to cast a poisonous spell on her. But on further inspection, she realized you were casting a spell on her, just a very different one from what she expected.

It’s a peculiar feeling, having feelings for someone.

She doesn’t think she’s ever really experienced all that “crush” or “love at first sight” nonsense Enid keeps gushing about.

But right now, with you standing in front of her, she thinks she finally feels those funeral flowers budding all throughout her chest, wrapping itself tight around her heart.

“Do you mind if I come in?” You ask timidly.

Wednesday steps back without a second thought, still staring hard as you walk in. She’s suddenly struck with the realization that you came to her first, out of everyone in the whole school, even her bubbly roommate. It makes her heart sing.

You and Enid had a thing going on. The whole school knew that. You weren’t exactly together, but the look on your face when you talked about Enid was enough for Wednesday to keep her mouth shut about her feelings.

But she came to me, Wednesday thinks.

She walks towards you, tapping you softly on the shoulder.

You whirl, and immediately throw yourself at her, letting your whole body engulf hers.

You hear Wednesday let out a quiet gasp and it makes you giggle a little.

You know she’s not uncomfortable, and you know the tap was an invitation or at least an allowance for you to touch her. You have a bit of a reputation for being the only person Wednesday was willing to let hug her, apart from Enid.

Days spent with Enid usually meant days spent with Wednesday, and by now, you were fluent in the language of her.

“What happened so suddenly that you felt the need to wake me in the middle of the night?” She finally asks, failing to sound sympathetic.

She doesn’t expect it to sound mean, and you know that, so you pay her tone no mind.

“I found Enid w-with Ajax.” You tell her, voice cracking at the end of your sentence, tears welling at the corners of your eye.

Wednesday wasn’t an idiot. She knows what “finding them together” means, and despite all her fondness for the young blonde, she can’t help the anger that stirs in her immediately.

Here you were, crying and troubled over her stupid roommate (crying very prettily might she add), and what, Enid was with Ajax? Of all people?

“I’m sorry to hear that, Y/N. I know how much you adored Enid.” She murmurs, ignoring the instant tugging in her heart at the sight of you wide-eyed and looking up at her.

To her surprise, you giggle a little, and it sends shockwaves through your and her own body.

You reach up gingerly, pausing long enough for Wednesday to refuse your touch if she wants to, but the goth girl stays quiet, and so you brush away some of the bangs that are covering her face.

“It’s okay.” You whisper, staring at her eyes and then her lips. “To be honest with you, that’s not even the whole reason I was crying.”

“Why were you crying then?” She inquires, and you notice her hands flexing at her side.

“I think…I might like someone else. And I was kind of upset, because- I thought Enid really liked me. But I guess not, so it all works out doesn’t it?” You laugh dryly.

Wednesday’s eyes widen at your confession, suddenly feeling squirmish underneath your gaze. Her whole body freezes, and her mouth feels dry.

It would work out if I was your partner, she thinks.

“Relax, Wends.” You murmur, placing your head back down to her chest. Your words seem to calm her down a little.

“It’s funny, I don’t like her anymore, but when she gets with someone else, I get sad. How messed up of me is that?” You tilt your head up, watching Wednesday gulp once before speaking.

“It is a stupid thing to feel.” Is what she answers, racking her brain to think of something better to say.

You hum, and everything goes quiet for a while. You feel safe, in Wednesday’s arms, in her bed, and you don’t care if Enid comes back to the dorm and sees this.

Before you know it, you’re drifting off into some walmart heaven- the smell of Wednesday encompassing you and the softness of her skin pressing against you.

“YN?” She whispers, stirring you from your so-close-to-sleep state.

You hum in question.

“Now that you aren’t interested in Enid, are you interested in anyone?” She asks, trying her best to not sound too interested in what you have to say.

You smile soft, the drowsiness making your critical thinking skills all mushy.

“Yeah, I told you that already.” You tell her and promptly snuggle yourself further into the girl.

When Wednesday finally gathers up the courage to ask you who it is, you’re fast asleep, snoring quietly on her.

The next morning, when you wake up alone, feeling the most well-rested you’ve felt in a long time, you barely notice the dark colors of the bedsheets.

It takes you a minute, but you prop yourself up on your elbow, trying to figure out where the hell you are.

But as the events of the night prior come back to you, you find yourself grinning.

“Stop smiling like that. You look weird.” Wednesday quips, and your eyes dart to where she is, hunched over by her typewriter. There’s a glint in her eye that tells you she’s joking.

You flash her another toothy grin, surprised when she sends you a tiny smile back. And then, as if she’s just gotten shy, she turns back to her typewriter and ignores your teasing remarks.

You sigh dramatically and flop back onto her bed.

“I’m gonna sleep here from now on!” You announce.

You take her silence as a quiet acceptance.

#wednesday addams #wednesday addams x you #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega x reader #wednesday #mine #wednesday addams x reader

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joocomics · 6 months

Note

Hii can u do what XH likes to do or how they’ll act if they’re jealous? Thank you!

cw: none

a/n: this might be a little bit messy, but expressing my thoughts on more angsty topics like this isn’t my strongest point when it’s not a drabble oof i apologise in advance if this isn’t what you expected, anonie! even a bit over the place i still hope you enjoy the read. ty for stopping by 🫶🏼

♡ gunil

i think he’d be good at hiding it, so if it happens a few times - most of them you might not notice that he’s being jealous until later. but it really depends on the situation and the person he’s being irritated by. i see him pretty protective as a boyfriend, and if someone is really getting on his nerves he might turn quiet and reserved; just thinking about how he wants to drag you out of the place with a hand on your waist cause he hates how they’re looking at you. after you’re finally left alone his feelings would immediately show, and he wouldn’t try to hide them; he couldn’t even if he tried. he’d sit down to talk to you about it, and after you assure him there’s nothing to worry about he’d calm down, and treat you like a princess till the rest of the night (he always treats you like that but when he’s jealous he really goes all out)

♡ jungsu

it’s a little bit difficult to put my thoughts together when it comes to him. on one side i see him get jealous easily, but then not so much. i see him being more vulnerable when it comes to this in the beginning stages of your to-be-relationship - when you’re in the talking stage, going on dates, but still haven’t talked about anything more than that. when he’s jealous he might overthink things a bit, and contemplate for a while if it’s something that he should bring up or not. that’s why i see him waiting to see if ‘this something’ happens again or grows into something bigger. if not, eventually he would just add it into the conversation lightly without any conflict in mind. when you show him he’s the only one you’re interested in, he most likely would double the physical contact while also putting his arm around you, and grabbing your hand more confidently in public

♡ jiseok/gaon

in a relationship i see him keeping his jealousy moments to himself, and i think those jealousy moments won’t be many tbh. he might even feel good if he catches guys checking you out, cause he knows you’re all his and you would never give those guys even a crumble of your attention. if someone tries to spark a conversation that rubs him the wrong way he’d be extra touchy with you or pull you on his lap, but he won’t feel the urge to bring it up after you’re left alone, cause in his mind that would be unnecessary. if you make him feel secure and loved, then i don’t see him paying too much attention to his temporary sparks of jealousy. he might even make a joke about it to make you laugh, “did you see that guy checking you out? in front of me?!”

♡ seungmin/o.de

i see him a mixture of jiseok and gunil. a part of him would feel good, proud even, that his gorgeous girlfriend is desired by people who can’t have her, but if someone tries to cross a boundary he’d hold you close and change the direction of the conversation. his body language when he’s with you would always be enough of a sign that you’re together, and there’s a chance depending on the situation he might get overprotective, but in a subtle way if that even makes sense? he wouldn’t want to ruin your mood on the spot or make you uncomfortable, so he would wait for you to get home and talk about it. the conversation would be chill and would end in a lot of soft kisses and i love you-s

♡ hyeongjun/junhan

oh he would be so obvious when he’s jealous. it won’t be difficult for you to catch him cause the emotions would be written all over his serious face. if you ask him about it he’d do his best to convince you he’s not jealous at all, cause he wouldn’t want to seem insecure in front of you. he’d laugh it off, but on the inside he’d be thinking about it all day, especially if you’re still not officially together; if you are it would fade down more quickly. he wouldn’t get extra touchy or something like that like the rest of the members, because he’d be too much in his head; he wouldn’t want anyone to notice (even though he suddenly goes quiet in the middle of the conversation?)

♡ jooyeon

i just have to bring up the perilla leaf debate here, and how quick he was with his answer - that his s/o will not help out his guy friend with separating those leaves. even if this clip didn’t exist i’d still be a firm believer that he’s the jealous type of boyfriend. he’d get jealous easily, and you’d always notice the subtle changes in his mood. he’d never do anything to frustrate you during the moment, and he’d try his best to be chatty and all with a hand on your thigh or around your shoulder. he’d play with your hair, with your hand, and he’d lean in your ear to whisper you things all of a sudden. people who know him well can always tell when he’s being jealous, but those who don’t wouldn’t notice a thing. he’d most likely be grumpy and extra affectionate after you get home

#i also wasn’t sure if u want it suggestive or not so i went with the sfw version ~#💌: xhdream inbox #xdinary heroes angst #xdinary heroes imagines #xdinary heroes scenarios #xdinary heroes fluff #xdh imagines #xdh scenarios #xdinary heroes x reader #gunil x reader #jungsu x reader #jiseok x reader #gaon x reader #seungmin x reader #o.de x reader #hyeongjun x reader #junhan x reader #jooyeon x reader

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nerdy-frog98 · 4 months

Text

Okay I’ve had several days to think about it, and I’m not upset about Eddie’s cheating storyline anymore.

Nobody asked, but HERE’S why.

Eddie is an incredibly traumatized character. The military experiences (+ his dead friends), losing his wife so suddenly & without closure, and a couple near death experiences will do that to you! Add that to parents trying to take his child away ON TOP OF feeling like he needs to give Christopher a mother at any and all costs…? Maybe a little bit of Catholic guilt sprinkled in there too.

Season 5 was not my favorite for a myriad of reasons, but one thing I did like about it was Eddie’s complete mental breakdown. It felt like a long time coming... BUT. His mental breakdown didn’t even really scratch the surface of his issues, and there are still a lot of things he needs to face before he can truly be at peace. One of those things is Shannon.

The effect that Shannon’s loss had on Eddie has, in my opinion, never been explored properly. We got a little of it in season 3 with the illegal fighting, and then hints of it again when he was with Ana, but it never felt like closure to me. It felt like season 6 tried to give him closure (through Marisol), but it wasn’t satisfying because it was more or less a duller version of what happened with Ana. “Moving on” for his sake, but with no real emotional repercussions. Maybe this is just a personal opinion, but his story has felt like a ticking time bomb to me since the moment he broke up with Ana. His breakdown in s5 wasn’t the real bomb though.

Now imagine being Eddie, a guy with a lot of unresolved guilt and feelings for a woman who died right in front of him. Imagine you see a woman with that dead wife’s exact face. I can honestly say I have no fucking clue what I would do in his position. What he did- erasing Marisol in his first conversation with this lookalike Kim, then later lying to Buck to meet up with Kim- is morally not okay. Sure. Would any of us act in a rational way though?

I’m not meaning to justify cheating, but I do genuinely believe this is one of the only ways that stubborn ass was going to figure out his issues in a way that might actually help him move on. He’s being delusional with Kim, and once the ball drops, I believe there’s a great big breakdown waiting for him on the other end.

People often accuse Eddie of being the most boring of the 118, and I hate that assessment so goddamn much. Eddie is probably one of theee most complex characters (besides Buck) in the entire show. He’s self-destructive, kind, loyal, patient and impatient- he’s a good father and a good friend, and he’s FLAWED. That is why I love him so much.

My initial disappointment with him partially stems from me wanting him to have a singular season of PEACE, which…I realized wasn’t possible without blowing up the bomb first (would’ve preferred to disarm the bomb but I’ll take what I can get).

#i also think eddie is hella gay but that’s for another day #the hate on eddie has been annoying me because it DOES feel in character to me #not because i think eddie is a cheater #but because eddie is stupid (affectionate) and delusional when it comes to love #mans got a big storm coming #911 abc #911 #buddie #watch 911 with whitney #gay eddie diaz #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #character study #shannon diaz

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andvys · 1 year

Text

We'll burn the sky | part fifteen

Warnings: mentions of drugs and alcohol, drug abuse and addiction, loss of a parent, mentions of cheating, past trauma, angst, fluff

Pairing: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Rockstar!Fem!reader

Summary: Your Christmas ends up being better than you thought it would.

Word count: 12k+

Author's note: Big thank you to my besties, @littledemondani @mysticmunson & @corrodedcorpses you always help me so much with your amazing ideas, thank you<3

Series masterlist

Before Eddie, you have never cried as much as you did in the past few weeks, in fact, you don’t remember when you cried the last time before you met him. You always considered yourself emotionally stable and strong, maybe it was wishful thinking or maybe it was the actual truth, maybe the emotional stability only lasted for a while or maybe it was never there and you just pretended that you were something that you were not.

You tried to stay strong for yourself. You tried to keep the tears from falling but you couldn’t.

So much has happened. Every time you thought that it couldn’t get worse, it got so much worse.

The moment you laid your eyes on that article, you knew your peace was over. The life you knew was over. Everyone knows what happened to your dad and now everyone thinks that you are just the same.

A wreck.

A drug addict, an alcoholic, a careless girl who ends up tangled in the sheets with just about anyone.

Whoever said those horrible things about you?

“It’s alright, darling,” Wayne says as he rubs your back, letting you cry in his arms, “let it all out, I’m here.”

You sniffle, trying not to sob, it’s humiliating enough to be seen like this, you hate crying in front of other people.

You hear the passing cars, the bell over the door in the gas station, the whirring sound of the vending machine next to the telephone booth and Wayne’s soothing voice.

His embrace is just as comforting as Eddie’s, he hugs you in a similar way he does. His arms are wrapped around you protectively and he holds you for as long as you need him to.

Your tears keep falling as you cry.

As though the pain of losing your dad was not bad enough, you have been hit by more and more. Now you begin to understand what he had felt like.

Your shoulders are shaking and your tears are staining his jacket, if he notices, he doesn’t seem to mind.

Once your sniffles quiet down and your tears fall less, you slowly pull away from his embrace. Wiping your tears, you look down at the black stains on your hand. You must look like a racoon right now.

Your bottom lip is quivering, though you are not sure whether it’s from the cold or the sob that tries to crawl up inside of you. You blink, trying to keep the tears away that are burning in the back of your eyes. You raise your head slowly, looking at his jacket that is stained with tears and mascara stains.

“I-I’m sorry, I ruined your jacket,” you mumble.

Wayne places his hand on your shoulder, eying you with concern in his eyes.

“It’s not ruined, it’s alright,” he says with a sad smile, “do you want to talk about what happened?” He asks, “you don’t have to but I’m here if you need someone to listen,” he adds.

You feel guilty and bad. Not wanting to be a burden, you go to shake your head but instead you look down at the magazine. Your chest feels burdened by pain.

Wayne follows your gaze, he looks down at the magazine. You hand it over to him, he glances at you one more time before he takes it from your hand. His brows are furrowed as he looks down, it takes him a moment to comprehend the words on the article before his eyes widen and a shocked look takes over his face.

You dig your nails into your palms and cross your arms over your chest, looking away, you bite your lip as you feel yourself shivering. The cold wind bites your skin harshly and by the look of the darkened sky, you can tell that the weather is about to get worse.

“Jesus christ,” Wayne mumbles.

“I-It’s uh… it’s the truth,” you say, no longer feeling the need to lie, “what they say about him.”

He looks at you with sorrow and sadness in his eyes. There is pain behind your eyes, he had seen it the first time he met you but there is so much more than that now, there is heartbreak and fear.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he says, not knowing how to comfort you. Wayne was never very talkative, he cannot comfort you with words but by the look on your face, he can tell that your mind is somewhere else anyways, you don’t need words, you need to feel comfort.

This day is horrible enough for you already but it had gotten so much more awful.

“I-I didn’t want anyone to know,” you whisper, “they weren’t supposed to remember him like this.”

“Hey, people loved him, they still will,” he says softly.

You try to give him a smile but you can only imagine how miserable it looks.

The wind picks up and the snowflakes hit your cold skin harshly.

“I-I should go,” you mumble, feeling guilty for burdening him this way.

“You think I’ll let you stay at the motel by yourself today?”

“It’s okay, really.”

“No, no one should spend Christmas by themselves, least of all you, kid. Come on, you can stay with us, Eddie will be happy to see you.”

You shake your head, digging your hands into the pockets of your jacket, “I don’t want to intrude.” Eddie didn’t invite you, he doesn’t want you around.

“Nonsense,” he sighs, waving his hand, “been meaning to ask if you want to spend Christmas with us, now come on.”

You can’t say no to him, not when he insists for you to spend the day with them. Wayne leads you to his truck and as you settle in the passenger seat and take the magazine back, your tears begin to fall again when you look at the picture of your dad.

Wayne doesn’t hesitate to hand you the clean napkins that he grabbed too many of when he and Eddie got burgers this week before his shift. You thank him as you reach for one, wiping away the tears.

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?” He asks in confusion.

“I’m a mess.”

He chuckles sadly, the look in his eyes is one of empathy. He pats your back, “aren’t we all a bit of a mess?”

A breathy chuckle falls from your lips, you nod in agreement.

“Can you stop by the motel?” You ask after a few minutes of silence, “I got something for Eddie.”

“Of course.”

“Henry Creel?”

“Yeah.”

“Dude, that guy is like.. scary,” Gareth mumbles.

“Yeah well, according to her, Henry is the nicest guy ever,” Eddie mumbles in annoyance as he leans back on the soft couch in Gareth’s basement, the one they have started practicing in before they moved it to the garage when Corroded Coffin became more serious.

“She has an interesting taste in men,” Gareth says, “first we got you, a nerdy rockstar, then we got Steve, the rich, handsome babysitter and then we got Creel, scary, creepy Creel.”

“He is not her type, dude!” Eddie says as he straightens up, rolling his eyes at his friend, “they were just talking.”

The thought of you flirting with another man, being into someone other than him and well, Steve, makes him feel more jealous than before.

“Yeah, I have no doubt that they were flirting, that guy might be a creep but I heard that he is very charming with the ladies.”

Eddie scrunches his face up, “what?”

“Do you remember Rose?”

“The girl you had a crush on?”

“Yeah–”

“The one you threw up on, at your graduation party?”

Gareth rolls his eyes but he snorts, “yeah, that one.”

Eddie barks out a laugh, burying his face in his hand as he thinks back to that night.

“You threw up all over her ugly shoes–”

“Dude, shut up! I’m trying to tell you a story,” he exclaims as he throws one of the pillows at him. Eddie dodges it, laughing.

“Alright, alright, keep going.”

Gareth nods, “Rose has a sister named Daisy–”

“Rose has a sister named Daisy? Who calls both of their kids after flowers?” Eddie asks in confusion.

Gareth glares at him for interrupting him yet again. Eddie holds his hands up in surrender, shutting his mouth, he leans back again, “continue.”

“Thanks,” Gareth sighs, shaking his head, “well, Daisy and Henry had a fling, apparently he’s super charming and sweet, but that’s probably an act,” he shrugs, “oh and she said she has a big dick.”

Eddie raises his brows in surprise, “so he charms the ladies with his big dick?”

“Yeah, kinda like Harrington. Only he is a princess compared to Creel, that guy is still a creep.”

Eddie snorts at that.

“Well, he didn’t charm my girl,” Eddie mumbles.

“Oh, your girl?” Gareth nods with a teasing look in his eyes.

“Yeah.”

You are his girl, no matter what.

When he found you with Henry last night, he felt sick with worry, especially when he saw the state you were in. No matter how much alcohol you have had before, he had never seen you like that. Your pupils were widened and you looked like a mess, your dizziness only added to his worry.

For a moment he feared that he had put something in your drink but you sobered up a little when he brought you back to the motel.

Gareth opens his mouth to speak but gets interrupted when the door is slammed open and someone rushes down the stairs, both men straighten up when they meet Jeff’s shocked expression.

“Have you seen this?” He asks in panic.

Eddie gets up, a frown making it’s way on his face.

“Wren called me, she was crying on the phone because she couldn’t reach her, I went to check up on her but she wasn’t there.”

Eddie furrows his brows as he stares at his friend in confusion, “Jeff, w-what are you talking about?”

Jeff says your name and hands Eddie the magazine that he was holding.

“Y/n?” He mumbles as he feels an instant worry washing over him. Eddie looks down, his eyes fall on the cover of the magazine. His breath hitches in his throat and his brown eyes widen with shock. Immediately, he flips to the page, finding pictures of you and your parents on both sides.

“What the..” His words get caught in his throat and a sick feeling settles in the pit of his stomach.

An insider claiming, “She is destructive when she’s drunk or high, sleeping with whoever comes her way and snorting whatever comes up in her hands. It’s not surprising, given she’s the one who found her father dead on the ground with heroin in his arm, only time will tell if she breaks the curse.”

“What the fuck,” Gareth mumbles as he comes up beside Eddie to read the article.

Eddie feels like throwing up, his face is so pale, Jeff worries that he might just faint.

“That’s bullshit!” Gareth mutters, “she doesn’t do that!”

“Yeah well, an insider made all that shit up for whatever reason,” Jeff mumbles.

Yeah, Eddie knows that you are not like that, that you don’t do any of those things but what about the part with your dad? What about him? Is that the truth? Is that why you reacted the way you did when Chrissy claimed that he uses drugs? Is that why you were so scared and worried? Because you feared to lose him the way you lost your dad?

“Oh god,” Eddie whispers, holding his hand over his heart, he finds it racing. He is worried about you.

“I gotta see her,” he says.

Both Gareth and Jeff can see the fear in his eyes, the worry and the sickness on his face.

“She’s not at the motel.”

“M-Maybe she’s with Steve,” Eddie mumbles and for the first time, he actually hopes that you are with him.

“Gareth! There’s someone on the phone for you!” His mother yells from upstairs.

“Alright mom!”

Eddie watches his friend picking up the receiver of the phone he always kept in the basement. He stares at him, watching him talk to whoever it is on the line, he only watches his lips move, no sound reaches him.

Jeff steps closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, he asks him if he is okay. Eddie only nods, without registering his words.

“Eddie,” Gareth calls for him, holding the receiver out to him, “it’s Sam, he wants to talk to you.”

Nodding, he walks over to Gareth and grabs the receiver. Greeting the man with a shaky voice.

“Please tell me that you know where she is. I’ve been trying to reach her phone at the motel all morning but she is not picking up.”

Eddie knows that Sam cares about you, taking on the father role of your dad after he had passed. His voice is filled with worry.

“I-I don’t know where she is, I’m sorry,” he mumbles, “I saw her last night.”

“Did you see the article?”

“Yes, is it true?” Eddie asks anxiously, “the things they said about her dad?”

“Yes.” Sam answers in his hesitation.

Eddie takes in a sharp breath, closing his eyes, he puts his hand on his forehead. His heart breaks for you. You loved your dad, finding him like this must have been a nightmare, he can only imagine what you have felt like.

“I have to find her–”

“Is she using again?”

Eddie’s whole body tenses up, he opens his eyes, staring at his reflection in the small mirror on the wall, all color fades from his face, his heart drops to his stomach.

Is she using again?

“W-What?” He manages to croak out.

“Is she using drugs again?”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asks with his wavering voice. “S-She’s not, she’s not using anything, Sam. We’re together all the time, she barely even drinks. W-what do you mean again?”

Sam hesitates, he sighs. Eddie knows that he won’t get any answers but once again, he is sick with worry.

“Do me a favor, find her please and tell her to give me a call.”

The line gone’s dead and Eddie continues to stare at himself in the mirror. Confused and shocked, he keeps holding the receiver even after Sam hung up the phone. He needs to find you. He needs to know what Sam meant by that.

Slamming the receiver in it’s place, he picks up his jacket and puts it on hastily and reaches for the magazine again.

“I’m gonna call you later,” he mumbles before he rushes up the stairs and out of the house, determined to find you.

His heart is racing, it’s filled with fear. Eddie hasn’t felt this anxious in a long time and it only gets worse when he can’t find you anywhere.

Everything begins to make sense when Eddie remembers how worried Sam was before you left for tour.

'Kid reminds me too much of her dad.'

Now he understands it, his worry. Your reactions whenever it came to the topic of drugs.

It feels weird to be back at the trailer, memories of the night with Eddie and Steve flood your mind but you quickly push the thoughts away, not wanting to think of that right now.

You sit by the small table, a blanket around your shoulder to warm you up from the cold. Your hands are wrapped around the warm mug that Wayne handed you earlier. The radio is on, some Christmas song is playing. You look out the window, watching the snow fall harder than before. The dark clouds make everything appear like it’s early in the evening, a few lights around the trailer are on.

Wayne made sure that you are alright, he showed you to the bathroom so you could freshen up after you cried off all the mascara. He offered to make you lunch but you settled for coffee, not feeling very hungry. The hangover was long forgotten, the magazine is what’s making you feel sick, right now.

“Is this what a snowstorm looks like?” You ask, breaking the silence between you.

Wayne looks up from the newspaper, glancing at you before he looks out the window, “no, you’ll see an actual snowstorm later. There was a blizzard warning, we’ll probably be snowed in till monday again, it happened last year too.”

“I should probably go then,” you say, not wanting to intrude and stay here for longer than necessary. You don’t want to make him or Eddie uncomfortable.

Wayne gives you a disapproving look, shaking his head.

“You’re crazy if you think I’ll let you out there right now.”

“But–”

“You won’t have any food there and I’m pretty sure the heaters will stop working at that shitty motel.”

“I’m not sure if Eddie wants me here,” you mumble.

Wayne looks dumbstruck at your words, he takes his reading glasses off, placing them on the table, he leans back in his chair and stares at you, curiosity swimming in his eyes.

Before he can ask you the question he has been meaning to ask, the door is slammed open and a scared looking Eddie rushes in. His eyes are glassy, his brows are knitted together, his shaky voice calls out to his uncle. He closes the door behind him, having yet to notice you sitting there.

You and Wayne turn to look at him, both staring at him with raised brows.

“Wayne, I need to– she’s gone and I don’t know, I–” his words get caught in his throat and his eyes widen when he finally sees you. A mix of emotions takes hold of him. Relief, sadness and anger?

He whispers your name, tears blurring his vision.

You place the mug on the table, letting the blanket fall to the chair as you rise to your feet. An instant wave of comfort and calmness wash over you when you lock eyes with him.

Eddie rushes towards you, not bothering to take his snowy boots or jacket off first. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap your arms around you and pull you into his arms. Almost all the tension disappears the moment he feels your warm body in his. He closes his eyes and hugs you tightly.

Tears swim in your eyes the moment you feel yourself relaxing into his arms.

You feel safe and protected.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he whispers, kissing the top of your head. “I’m so so sorry.”

He hears your quiet sniffle and his heart breaks. If he could take your pain, he would.

“I’m here.”

And that’s all that matters to you. Eddie. He is all that matters to you.

Wayne watches the two of you. A moment so bittersweet it makes his heart ache. Had this been a happy moment, he could smile but knowing how much pain you are both in, fills him with pain too.

Eddie holds you for a moment, giving you the reassurance that you need, telling you that he is here for you, no matter what.

“I need to talk to you,” he says. Kicking his shoes and jacket off, he leads you into his room, closing the door behind him, he almost forgets what he wanted to ask you in the first place when he sees you in his room for the first time.

Your eyes are puffy, red rimmed and glassy. You look small and vulnerable. It hurts him to see you like this. He can tell that your mind is running wild and by the way you are looking at him with uncertainty and fear in your beautiful eyes, he already knows that you think you are not welcome here.

You wrap your arms around yourself, your hands are shaky and you dig your nails into your waist as you look up at him like a child that is about to get scolded. Gone is the wild girl that he had gotten to know, the fearless and confident young woman that seemed unreachable. All he sees is a heartbroken girl that wanted nothing but to be loved.

God, how could he ever hurt you?

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to ruin your Christmas. I’m gonna leave, you don’t–”

“Sweetheart,” Eddie frowns. He steps in front of you, cupping your cheeks, he tucks your hair behind your ear, he caresses your cheek softly.

“Shut up,” he whispers, “I spent the past two hours searching for you. What makes you think that I don’t want you here?”

You shrug.

“I want you here, I wanted you to spend Christmas with us, I wanted to ask you last night but you disappeared and then, well you know.”

“You want me here?” You ask softly.

“Yeah, of course.”

“You saw it?” You ask with a voice so small, it’s almost unrecognizable.

He nods.

“I was looking for you everywhere, you had me worried sick, sweetheart,” he whispers.

He went to Steve first, worrying him too when he found out about the magazine and you missing. He makes a mental note to give him a call later. He called Robin and then Nancy from the telephone booth at the gas station. He stopped by the hideout and at lovers lake, you were nowhere. For a moment he feared that you had gone to Henry Creel for something, he knows that he sells weed and other things.

The last place he expected to find you was his trailer but he is so relieved.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispers, “about your dad, about this whole thing.”

Your bottom lip quivers and he can tell that you are trying not to cry.

“I-It’s okay.”

“No it’s not, it’s not okay. It’s fucked up, that’s what it is. I’m gonna kill the asshole that wrote this–”

“Eddie,” you sigh.

“You gotta call Sam, he is worried about you.”

Oh.

Fear crosses your eyes and it makes his heart drop again. He knows why.

“I-I’m not using drugs, Eddie,” you whisper, shaking your head, “I’m not doing what they said about me.”

“I know you’re not doing any of that.”

You are not using drugs, you are not sleeping around, you are not destructive. He knows all of that. But he doesn’t know about your past, he wants to know but not yet, you are not in the right state of mind to answer the questions that have been running through his mind.

He pulls you into his arms again, closing his eyes and breathing in your scent.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I’m so worried about you.”

It eases the pain a little and softens your heart.

“I’ll be okay.” It’s a lie, you both know it. You are not prepared for what is about to come when you go back on tour next week but you try not to think about it now.

“B-But what they said about him, it’s true.”

The pain in your voice, the shakiness and the tears that continue to fall break his heart. You have been through too much.

“I found him the way they said I did, I found him, Eddie.”

He closes his eyes, he hugs you tighter. He can imagine how helpless and scared you must have felt that night.

“I-It was too late, he was gone and I couldn’t.. I couldn’t help him.”

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispers, blinking away his own tears.

He can feel your body growing weaker as you cry harder, he pulls you along with him as he walks backwards, sitting down on his bed, he pulls you on his lap, you bury your face in the crook of his neck and let him hold you.

“I’m always here for you, you know that right?” He whispers into your hair after a while.

You nod against him.

“No matter what, sweetheart.”

“Thank you, Eddie,” you whisper, leaning your chin against his chest, you look up at him, admiring the way his curls are still so pretty, even after being out in this weather, “same goes for you.”

He smiles and squeezes your arms. “I know, you’re an angel,” he whispers, cupping your cheeks, he caresses your cheek, “let me take care of you, please.” It’s all he wants, all he ever wanted. He wants to be there for you, he wants to be the one who gets to hold you, who gets to take care of you.

His heart ached in his chest when he saw you drunk and so careless last night, the way you talked about yourself made him both sad and angry. You gave him a small glimpse of what is going on in your mind, it was only a small one and yet, it showed him how much pain you are hiding, how much distaste you have for yourself and he doesn’t even know why. You are the most perfect being in his eyes.

Your heart flutters at his words, the look in his eyes is so soft.

“Please,” he repeats.

His care, his pleading eyes, his soft touch as he begs you to let him take care of you brings back the tears in your eyes. You are scared and he can see it so clear. You are scared to let him back in only to lose him again.

“I won’t let anything happen to you.”

You blink, trying to keep yourself together before you will break down again.

“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere without you.”

He can see your walls crumbling, the ones you have built up around you to shield yourself from him are slowly falling.

“I’m with you, no matter what.”

You whisper his name so brokenly, it almost makes him crumble.

“I won’t ever leave you.”

You left people who hurt you before, they did nothing to stop you, they didn’t beg you to stay, they didn’t try to fix whatever they had broken, they let you go like you had meant nothing to them.

People have left you, almost everyone that came into your life did and while it hurt, you accepted it, it just wasn’t meant to be but you can’t imagine a life without him.

You need him.

You need him to stay.

You don’t want to see him walking away.

You are scared to see it happening and yet, you find yourself breaking down and looking up at him with pleading eyes.

“Please,” you whisper as you grip his shirt tightly in your hand, “I need you.”

His heart melts and his eyes soften, he only pulls you closer until your chest is pressed against his.

“Please don’t ever leave me, Eddie.”

He doesn’t know whether to cry or to smile knowing that you still want him. But you are so scared, so afraid of watching him walk away from you. In that moment, he realizes why you didn’t want to give him a second chance, why you wanted him to stay away from you, why you wanted the distance so bad. You are scared of losing him in the end, you are scared of a life without him, you are scared that you won’t survive the heartbreak a second time and it breaks his heart.

He cups your cheeks tighter, looking into your eyes intently.

“I will never leave you, sweetheart.”

You let him hold you for a while. You listen to his heartbeat, melting into his touch. He rubs your back and kisses the top of your head.

You don’t know how many minutes pass in silence but you appreciate it, him and all of this. You feel safe, only in his arms.

“Can you distract me, today?” You ask, “please?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” he says.

“Didn’t you say you like baking?”

“Yeah, why?”

You look up at him, finding him staring at you already.

“We should make chocolate cake,” he smiles.

“You can bake?” You ask.

He shakes his head, chuckling, “nope but you can.”

“Oh so you just wanna stand there and look pretty while I bake the cake?”

“Exactly,” he says, squeezing your waist, his eyes flash with excitement knowing that you will spend the whole weekend with him. “I hope you don’t mind being stuck with me this weekend ‘cause there’s no way, I’m letting you go.”

You wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now.

“I don’t mind if you don’t mind.”

He scoffs, glaring softly, “never, sweetheart. If I could, I’d keep you with me all the time, I’d handcuff you to me,” he jokes.

Raising your eyebrows, you look behind him, only now noticing the handcuffs on the wall. Your eyes widen and you can’t help but grow curious.

“With those?” You ask, pointing behind him.

He turns around to look at the wall, a smirk appearing on his face as he looks back at you, “sure but they are kind of uncomfortable.”

“How do you know?”

“I got arrested once.”

You snort. He rolls his eyes playfully but he can’t help but smile.

“By El’s dad?”

“Yeah, Hopper.”

Your eyes widen, “oh, I’d love to get arrested by him, he’s a hot dilf.”

He frowns, furrowing his brows, “really?” He mumbles.

“Yup,” you say, “wait, why did you get arrested though?”

“I got caught stealing socks.”

You can’t even help but giggle. Eddie raises his brows at you, lips tugging into a smile. Your giggle makes his heart flutter, he is happy to hear it, especially today.

“Socks?”

“Yeah, I didn’t have enough money and I really wanted some new socks,” he explains dramatically.

You shake your head at him, “well, now you can buy endless socks, Eddie,” you say as you get off his lap. You look around the room you haven’t been in before. You eye the Corroded Coffin poster, it was their first ever design. The writing is still black and red, the way it was back then but the background is a faded black now.

His room here is not much different from his room in LA, the only difference there is, is the mess in this one and the many posters he must have collected over the years, as a teen. A shirt is thrown over the speakers on his dresser, you pick it up, turning around to give him a pointed look, “you’re so messy,” you mumble, not paying much attention to the soft look in his eyes as he watches you.

“Hellfire club,” you read, “oh, it’s the nerd club you told me about!”

Eddie groans, clutching his chest dramatically, “nerd club? You wound me, darling.”

Shaking your head, you snort at him.

“You should wear it, since you’re a nerd too,” Eddie smiles.

“Excuse me? Since when am I a nerd?” You scoff.

“Since you told me that you played DnD with your cousin before,” he grins. He takes his jacket off, throwing it on his bed before he walks towards you. He leans against the dresser and crosses his arms over his chest, watching you with a smile on his face.

You ignore him, distracted by the polaroid pictures on his dresser, your eyes light up, “oh my god, is that you as a kid?”

He only recently found these old pictures again. He kept them in a box, far away from where he could see it but as he was cleaning his room and throwing some stuff out, he found the old shoebox again and couldn’t help himself but go through all these pictures that held so many memories, happy and sad ones.

“Yeah,” he smiles sadly.

“Can I?” You ask.

He nods.

You reach for one, a smile tugs at your lips as you eye the picture. He was no older than five in this picture, his curls were wild back then already, brown eyes shining with his happiness as he looked up at the pretty woman who resembled him, his mom.

Eddie never talked much about her, he only ever mentioned her death but not much else. You never pushed him to talk and he was very thankful for that. You understand him, you never talked much about your dad either, you both struggled to.

“You were so cute,” you whisper as you trace the picture with your finger, “and she was so beautiful.”

“She was,” Eddie smiles as he stares at the picture of his mother before his eyes move back to you. The sad smile and the soft look in your eyes tugs at his heart. He wishes that he could introduce you to his mom, you would have liked her.

“She would’ve loved you,” he says with a sad look in his eyes.

You turn to look at him, tears burn in the back of his eyes and you find something else other than sorrow and empathy in his eyes, understanding. You both lost a parent, one that you have loved with all your hearts, you were both left with the awful parent, the one that never cared for or loved you.

Eddie understands you and you understand him.

“My dad would’ve loved you too,” you whisper.

He smiles at your words, he would have loved to meet him.

You look back down, looking at the picture one more time before you place it back on the dresser, “you look just like her.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “I’m glad I do, I would’ve hated myself if I looked anything like my dad.”

“Oh, I should hate myself then cause I’ve been told that I look like my mother,” you say with a frown on your face that tells Eddie how upset you are with that woman.

You do look like your mother, Eddie has seen the pictures of her and your dad from when they were still married.

“No,” he mumbles, “don’t hate yourself, sweetheart. You have no reason to do so.”

You don’t react to his words, you don’t look at him, for a moment, there is a distant expression on your face. You blink, smile turning upside down. You are deep in thought about something, something that surely has to do with your mother.

You nod to yourself before you turn away. Exploring the rest of Eddie’s room without saying much. The mention of your parents must have brought you back to the magazine. Eddie doesn’t push you to talk, he knows when you need a moment to yourself and right now, it’s one of those moments.

He promises himself to make this day as good for you as possible. Wanting to give you better memories for this day, he knows that Christmas will always remind you of your dad, of this horrible night that happened years ago but he is determined to give you something special for this day.

By the time you walk back into the living room, Wayne had lit up the Christmas lights that he and Eddie had hung up yesterday morning, ‘we haven’t used these lights in years, Eddie wanted to hang them up for you.’ Wayne had said when you complimented the decorations. Your heart softened, Eddie had already planned to ask you to spend Christmas with him and Wayne.

You had to call Sam and Steve and your very hysterical best friend, Wren. It took some time calming both her and Sam down after they had read the article, both of them feared the worst.

It warms your heart to know that there’s people who care about you but it isn't easy to convince them that you are okay when you’re actually really not okay.

You and Eddie baked the cake, well, you baked the cake, Eddie just sat back and watched you with a fond smile on his face. He even turned on some Christmas music which was surprising to both you and Wayne.

‘Gotta bring in the real Christmas spirit.’ He joked.

He only came to help when it was time to decorate the cake, eyes lighting up like the one’s of a happy child when you stepped aside and let him finish the cake.

“Wanna try the frosting?” You ask as you hold the bowl with the leftover vanilla frosting.

"Yes, please."

Using the small spoon, you scoop some of the frosting on it before you bring it up to his lips, smiling at him as he tastes it.

“Oh shit, that’s good,” he moans.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm,” he hums before he sticks his finger into the bowl, getting more of the frosting.

“You have a spoon!” You exclaim.

“Tastes better like this,” he chuckles, tapping your nose with the frosting on his finger.

“Eddie,” you whine.

His eyes flash with amusement as you roll your eyes at him, you raise your hand to wipe away the frosting but he beats you to it, licking it off his finger after wiping it off.

“I’m just gonna put a shit ton of sprinkles on the cake,” he grins at you as he reaches for the small container of sprinkles.

Placing the bowl on the table, you watch him. His curls frame his face perfectly, falling down to his shoulders, you notice how much it grew since the summer. Taking the scrunchie out of your hair, you step behind him and gather his hair, putting in a low bun.

“What’re you doing?”

You can hear the smile in his voice.

“Styling your hair,” you murmur, smiling when he sighs in content.

Neither of you notice that Wayne has been taking pictures of you two the whole time you have been in the kitchen. The older man watching his nephew with a fond smile on his face as he looks at you with a shine in his eyes that he hasn’t seen in years.

After what happened this morning, you didn’t expect this day to go so well. You were prepared for another bad Christmas, an even worse one this year due to the article but Eddie and Wayne were able to distract you from it all.

You were able to forget about the article and your mom, even if just for a moment.

You watched a Christmas movie, well, a Christmas horror movie since Eddie insisted on it. You watched both parts of silent night deadly night. Despite the wish for more space, you ended up snuggled against him, he had his arm wrapped around you and it was almost impossible not to fall asleep.

Eddie adored every second, he got to spend with you like this.

He was happy, for the first time in a long time, he felt at peace because you are willing to give him another chance, no longer running away from him or giving him the cold shoulder, which he admittedly deserves after the things he had done to you.

After dinner and dessert, it was time for presents and you were staring at Eddie excitedly, already knowing what he ‘got’ for Wayne. He planned this a long time ago, what started off with a wish, finally became reality.

A number 1 hit, touring across the country and throwing concerts almost every night, finally gave him the chance to afford something he never thought he would.

No more food stamps, no more sleepless nights and worrying about bills they couldn’t afford to pay. Those days are over. Eddie can finally give his uncle a life he deserves.

You lean your elbows on the table, cupping your cheeks, you raise your brows at Eddie, who gives you an exciting smile.

“Alright, you’ll get the first present of the night, Wayne,” Eddie starts, unable to fight the smile off his face, “I wanted to take you somewhere but uh, the weather said no,” he chuckles as he gestures to the heavy snow that is falling outside.

Wayne furrows his brows, tilting his head, “what do you mean, son?”

“Uh,” Eddie mumbles, suddenly feeling nervous, he scratches the back of his neck, reaching for the small box, he slides it over to his uncle, “here.”

Wayne raises his hand slowly, taking the box, he gives Eddie a look, a knowing and nervous one.

“Open it,” Eddie says.

The older man mutters something under his breath, giving his nephew another look before he focuses on the present, removing the wrapping paper, he furrows his brows at the small box, he opens it slowly, almost too slowly, as though he is nervous. When his eyes fall on the key, his eyes widen and he stares at it for a long moment before he raises his head to look at Eddie.

“Ed, what..” He trails off, staring at his nephew with a shocked look in his eyes, “tell me, you didn’t.”

“I did,” Eddie smiles proudly, “I promised you, didn’t I?”

A long time ago, Eddie promised his uncle that he would buy him a house someday, he promised him a better life.

Wayne huffs in disbelief, he blinks rapidly. He brings his hand up to his jaw as he looks down at the key.

“It’s nothing big but it’s a house, not a trailer,” Eddie says, his eyes soften as he looks at his uncle, knowing that he is trying not to cry, “it’s a good area, Wayne. Cornwallis street to be exact and you’re minutes away from Lake Jordan.”

“Eddie,” the older man sighs, “you didn’t have to.”

“Yes, I did. You gave me everything, Wayne. You didn’t have to but you did, I owe you so much.”

Eddie couldn’t be more thankful, Wayne gave him things that his dad couldn’t give him. He raised him well, taught him things that he needed for his life, he gave him money whenever he needed it knowing that he would struggle at the end of the month but he didn’t care, he needed to know that his nephew was taken care of, that he had enough clothes, a full stomach, even if that meant that he went to sleep hungry.

You look between them, your heart swells in your chest when you stare at Eddie. You grew up with money, you never had days when you had to worry about being kicked out of the house because your parents couldn’t afford the rent, you never went to sleep hungry, you had endless of toys and clothes. You never had to worry about the things that Eddie and Wayne had to worry about. You can only imagine how exciting and relieving it must be for Eddie to be able to give this to his uncle.

“You don’t owe me anything, son.”

Eddie shakes his head at his words, smiling at Wayne.

“You literally still sleep on the fold out bed instead of taking the damn room for yourself.”

“It’s your room, Eddie.”

“Yeah well, you will finally have your own room, old man,” Eddie grins, patting his uncle on the shoulder, “it’s all I ever wanted, get you an actual house, you deserve better than this,” he says, gesturing to the trailer.

“S’not that bad, Ed,” he frowns, “it’s home.”

He is right, this is a home, not just a house or a place, this is home. Even to you it feels like that.

“Well, you’ll get a new home, a better one.”

Wayne shakes his head, still in shock about the present his nephew got him.

“C’mere.” He gets up as Eddie does too, embracing each other in a hug, you look at them fondly.

“Thank you,” Wayne says as he pats his nephew’s back, “you’re a good kid, Ed. You’re too good.”

“You’re a good uncle, the best,” Eddie grins as he pulls back from the hug, “I can’t wait to show you the house.”

After the initial shock, you gave Wayne your present. He looked just as surprised as he did before, not expecting you to give him anything.

“It’s not much but it’s a little something,” you chuckle as you watch him open the envelope.

“A little something?” He scoffs as he takes out the tickets.

“Eddie told me that you had never been to Los Angeles so uh, I thought that you could come visit him when we’re back home. You can pick the date yourself,” you say, pointing to the tickets, “and, a little birdie told me that you’re not working on New Years Eve so I booked you a hotel room so you can come see us play in Chicago.”

You don’t see the look of surprise and love in Eddie’s eyes. To see you get along with his uncle makes him feel so grateful and happy. You and Wayne mean everything to him, to know that you like him so much means a lot to him.

Wayne shakes his head with a smile on his face, “you’re spoiling me,” he says to the both of you, “you really didn’t have to, darling but thank you so much.”

He gives you a warm hug and thanks you with a grateful smile on his face.

“I got you something too, it doesn’t beat your presents but it’s a little something.”

Your eyes widen and you stare at the man in surprise as you sit back down, “oh no, you didn’t have to, getting to spend Christmas with you two is the best present.”

Eddie’s eyes soften and Wayne chuckles, shaking his head, he smiles at you as he hands you a present wrapped in red and white paper. Both men see the excited look in your eyes, it makes them both smile harder.

You unwrap your present, a giggle falling from your lips when you see the mug. It’s a light pink one with strawberries all over it, “that’s so cute!” You exclaim as you stare at it as though it’s the best present you had ever gotten, it makes both of them chuckle.

“I love that so much, thank you!”

“You’re welcome, kid,” he smiles, “but there’s something else.”

Furrowing your brows, you look down, noticing another small present inside the mug. You can feel that it’s a necklace but as you unwrap it and your eyes fall on the black and purple guitar pick, you look up at the man, “that wasn’t meant for Eddie, was it?” You chuckle.

He grins at you, shaking his head, “that goes with a present, he got for you.”

Your lip twitches and you turn to look at Eddie with a curious smile.

He looks excited and giddy. Jumping up from the chair, he walks away, rushing into his bedroom. You hear him shuffling around in his room, a few curse words echoing through the room when something tumbles to the ground , making both you and Wayne chuckle.

He comes back, a large smile on his face as he holds something behind his back.

“Alright rockstar, this is for you,” he grins, handing you the very badly wrapped present, it almost makes you laugh. You don’t have to guess what it is, it is obvious.

“I-Is that a–”

“Unwrap it, sweetheart.”

He hands you the present, his fingers brush against yours, your eyes lock for a moment.

Eddie watches in anticipation, he sits back down, bouncing his knee as he stares at you with wide and exciting eyes. Your eyes grow bigger when you finally lay your eyes on the guitar you have practically fallen in love with when you had laid eyes on it all these months ago.

“Eddie,” you gasp, unable to tear your eyes away from the beautiful electric guitar, you admire it, tracing the smooth wood with your fingertips. It’s black, adorned with dark purple color on the sides, “she’s pretty.”

“How? It’s the one I saw in New York,” you mumble as you look up at Eddie.

He shrugs, smiling at you, “I saw you staring at it every time we walked past that store,” he explains, “I got it when you went out to eat with Jeff and Gareth.”

Your gaze softens, a warm feeling settles in your chest and your stomach. Your heart flutters. He got it for you all these months back?

“How did I not see it, I’ve never seen you carry two guitar cases?”

“I shipped it to Hawkins, I knew you’d spend Christmas with us,” he shrugs.

“Eddie,” you whisper, “I-I love it, thank you.”

You place the guitar down, getting up, you step towards him, he opens his arms for you right away, pulling you into a hug.

He closes his eyes, burying his face in the crook of your neck, “I got more for you but you’ll get it later,” he whispers.

“Thank you so much,” you whisper. Your voice is thick with emotions, Eddie knows that you are on the verge of tears. You kiss his cheek, thanking him once again before you take the attention away from you, practically shoving your present for him in his arms so you don’t start crying for all the love you are getting tonight.

You got him a new shoulder strap for his guitar, adorned with bats that match his tattoos. New rings and a matching necklace that he excitedly puts on, right away. Hanging the strap over his shoulder, “I'm so excited to go back on tour,” he grins as he looks down at the guitar strap.

“Thank you so much, sweetheart.”

He plants a big kiss on your cheek, unaware of the big smile on his uncle’s face as he looks between the two of you.

Wayne gifted Eddie a bunch of movies, a new bandana that Eddie had put around his wrist right away and a book he had wished for.

You couldn’t be more thankful for both men, your day wouldn’t have turned out as well as it did if it wasn’t for them.

You retreat to Eddie’s room after a few more drinks and a hot shower. Wearing one of his shirts and his boxers, you sit on the bed, flipping through the pages of the magazine you promised to throw away, you couldn’t help it.

You stare at the pictures of your dad, the smile on his face that you haven’t seen in so long makes your heart hurt, you miss him so much. All that is left of him is his music, his pictures, his guitar that you kept and a letter you have yet to open.

You take it with you, everywhere you go, you take the letter with you, hoping that you will finally find the courage to open it, to read it and get answers to why he did it but you are too afraid of the truth.

The letter is tucked away in your suitcase at the lone motel.

Your eyes fall on the pictures of your mother, your painfully beautiful mother. If only her personality was just as beautiful. She has always been awful to you, cold and distant to you and your dad.

But you didn’t expect her to be this cold.

“Are you ready to sleep in the comfiest bed– hey, you shouldn’t read that again.”

You look up, your vision is blurred, you didn’t even notice the tears that have welled up in your eyes.

Eddie’s eyes soften and he sighs, whispering your name.

“I– yeah, you’re right,” you mumble, closing the magazine, you throw it to the ground and wipe away the tears, “I just wanted to see my dad.”

It hurts him to know how much you are suffering.

“But I’m okay,” you say as you pull the blanket higher, leaning back against the comfy pillows, you give him a small smile.

Eddie doesn’t say anything, opting to give you a smile that doesn’t even reach your eyes. He joins you on his bed, the smell of his aftershave and shampoo hitting your senses. He gets under the blanket, scooting a little closer to you but making sure to give you space. The shirt you are wearing is one of his favorites, you smell like him, having used his body wash and shampoo, it makes his heart flutter.

You are here, in his room, in his bed, with him.

“You look cute.”

“Thanks,” you chuckle.

He winks at you, turning his back to you, he reaches for something under his bed.

You notice that something has changed about him and it isn’t just the hair that got longer, his shoulders got broader, arms more muscular than before.

“Do you work out?” You blurt out.

“Huh?”

He looks at you in amusement, holding a box in his hands.

“Y-You have muscles.”

Eddie chuckles, “are you checking me out?”

Your eye roll makes him laugh even more.

The truth is, yes, he started working out. He found that it is a good outlet for his anger. A year ago, he would have drowned his emotions in alcohol and weed but he doesn’t want to do that anymore, he wants to be better than that, he wants to be better than his father.

“Here, this is for you.”

A box filled with things that you have wanted but never gotten was the last thing that you expected. Just like with the guitar, there’s things that you have never even spoken about. Eddie was there when you stared at that one necklace, he was there when you walked past that one store that sold polaroid cameras, he paid attention to the things you eyed for a little too long, he saw the glint in your eyes and without having to ask, he knew that you wanted them.

He collected them over the months, preparing for Christmas. It filled him with excitement, every time you were busy, he went back to the stores you have passed to buy the things you wanted.

He smiles as he watches you, his heart flutters in his chest when you put the necklace around your neck with an excited smile on your lips.

You don’t know what to say, uttering a small ‘thank you’. A smile is all that he needs but you scoot closer to him, kissing his cheek before you lay your head on his shoulder.

“Thank you for everything, I-I think this might have been my favorite Christmas.”

His eyes flash with surprise and his heart tugs in his chest. He puts his arm around you, looking down at you with a fond smile on his face, “really?”

“Yeah.”

You drown out the horrible things that happened this morning, the horrible things that are yet to come thanks to whoever sold the story about your dad. You focus on Eddie, on the things he did for you, on the things he said to you, last night.

‘We can start over, okay?’

You want it so bad. You want to start over. Go back to the beginning.

“Can we start over?”

“What?”

You look up at him with big eyes, hope for the future deep in your eyes.

“You said we can start over, so.. can we?”

“Sweetheart,” he whispers, smiling at your words. It looks as though a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, eyes shining with happiness, “of course we can.”

“Good.”

“Very good.”

His deep voice and the seriousness in his eyes makes you chuckle.

“Back to the beginning?”

“Yes, back to the beginning.”

“You wanna leave everything behind?” He asks.

You know what he means by that.

“Yes but we gotta be honest to each other from now on, you have to be honest with me and I have to be honest with you too.”

He nods, agreeing with your words but a curious look flickers in his eyes.

“You’re always honest.”

You shift uncomfortably, looking down, you place the lit back on the box and place it on the nightstand.

“Not always. There’s something I didn’t tell you.”

Right.

Eddie knows what you are talking about. A knowing look flashes in his eyes, one that you fail to notice.

“I want us to be honest with each other, no more secrets,” you say.

“Yeah,” he whispers.

You finally notice the look in his eyes, it reminds you of the one you had seen when he stormed into the trailer earlier.

“What’s wrong?”

He takes a deep breath, reaching for your hand, he looks into your eyes.

“Sam asked me something.”

By the look on your face and the quiet ‘oh’ that falls from your lips, he already knows that you know what it is about, he waits for a moment, making sure that you aren’t uncomfortable.

“He uh– he asked if you are using drugs again.”

Your lips part and a nervous expression crosses your face, you blink, shame filling your eyes.

“Eddie.”

Tears brim your eyes.

“Did you?”

You can’t read his eyes, not right now. You can’t tell if he is angry or if he’s worried or disgusted by you because you were so quick to get mad at him for believing Chrissy when you have done these things yourself.

You nod and close your eyes.

To say that he is shocked is an understatement, on top of that he is worried. You have been around drugs for months, hell, you are around them right now. Eddie still has his secret stash in his room.

His heart is pounding in his chest, he is scared.

“You don’t have to talk about it–”

“No, it’s okay, Eddie.”

“Are you sure?” He asks.

You nod, “yeah,” you whisper.

“When?”

“2 years ago,” you admit, “i-it was only a few times, I didn’t have an addiction or anything, j-just.. did it a few times and then Sam caught me.”

“Jesus,” he sighs, “what did you take?”

“Just cocaine, some pills, I don’t know what they were.”

“Just cocaine,” he scoffs as anger flashes in his eyes, “that could have ruined you, y/n.”

“I know, that’s why I stopped,” you whisper, not feeling affected by his anger, you know he is just worried.

“Why did you take it in the first place?”

“I-I needed to feel something.”

You felt numb and needed something that would lift you up. You weren’t one to drown yourself in alcohol, parties and one night stands every weekend. You drowned yourself in work, you spent your free time writing songs and helping Sam out, that’s how you met the one who got you into drugs in the first place but Sam didn’t need to know that.

You can imagine what goes on inside his mind as you look into his eyes, ‘how could you be so careless?’, ‘how could you do the one thing that killed your dad?’

Truth be told, you wanted to know what it felt like, what it made him feel like.

While your dad tried to numb the pain, you tried to make the numbness fade away but it only helped for a little while. Back then it wasn’t difficult to stop, you didn’t get attached, it was easy to stop.

“I only did it a few times and then I stopped, I never had a problem, Eddie.”

He believes you, the truth is in your eyes but it doesn’t stop him from worrying. You were so desperate to feel something, you were willing to risk your life. The thought makes him feel sick, ‘what if you thought about it when he hurt you?’, ‘what if you got close to taking them again after what happened between you two?’, ‘what if you took some last night?’

“Eddie, I haven’t touched them ever since, haven’t even thought about it. Not on tour, not at any parties, never.”

“I believe you,” he whispers, feeling guilty for making you feel like you have to explain yourself to him when you are clearly suffering.

You swallow nervously, it’s something you have never talked about to anyone. Not even your friends, they knew certain things but not everything.

“But how did you get into them, the drugs?”

He looks for the hesitation in your eyes but there isn’t any, there is only a nervous look on your face. You are scared of what he will think.

You take a deep breath, leaning back again, you reach for the small pillow and bring it up to your chest.

“When I was working with Sam, I met this guy. He uh, he was– is a singer, had his own band too. He was nice, he was good to me and he was older than me. I liked that, it made me feel safe. I worked on some song texts with him and we started spending a lot of time together. He took me to places, I went to his concerts and the stupid after parties, we would get high together or drunk but when it was just the two of us, we did other things.”

Eddie frowns at your words, he can’t even contain the jealousy that is clear on his face.

“I took drugs, not all the time but I did, I’m not proud of it. I wanted to know what it felt like. My friends were pissed at me and so was Sam when he found out.”

“How did your friends find out?”

You grow flustered at his question, avoiding his eyes, you look down at your hands as you think back that night.

“Do you remember Frankie?” You ask.

He furrows his brows, “uh yeah, the crazy redhead?” He asks, making you chuckle.

“Yeah, her,” you smile, “I dragged her and the others to a party at his house. We uh, he took me to his room,” you pause, not knowing how much you should actually tell him, the look in his eyes is unreadable, “I didn’t want to take drugs at a party my friends were at but he had a way of convincing me to do stuff I didn’t want to do and when I was snorting that crap, Frankie walked in and caught me.”

His eyes flash with anger at your words, to know that someone else could have such an effect on you worries him.

“She got hysterical, basically dragged me out of the room and cursed him out when he laughed at her. She told the others and they were pissed.”

“How’d you stop?”

You shrug, “I knew that I would end up like my dad a-and I didn’t want that. I also didn’t want to lose my friends. It wasn’t an issue for me to stop, really. I only did it out of curiosity and because he convinced me.”

“I’m glad you stopped and I’m proud of you.” He says, squeezing your hand.

He feels relieved to know that you weren’t addicted and hung up on the drugs but it still worries him, you have been through so much, he knows how easy it is to fall back into old habits.

He can’t help but grow hatred for the man he doesn’t even know. A part of him feels curious though.

“Thank you,” you smile.

“I thought you didn’t have a boyfriend before..”

“I didn’t, he wasn’t my boyfriend.”

“What was he then?”

You shrug, blinking.

“Well, I– we never made anything official, he treated me like I was his but I-I didn’t want that. I broke the whole thing off after a while. I knew that we’d never work out as a couple, he would drag me back into all that shit and I didn’t want to get attached to someone like that or even fall in love.”

“Oh.”

You can tell that there’s a million other questions running through his mind but there is mostly relief in his eyes.

You are both quiet for a moment until you decide that it’s time to move on to another question.

“Why did you never tell me about Chrissy?” You ask, “I know we’ve talked about this before but I wanna have an actual answer.”

Eddie raises his brows, taking a deep breath, he looks into your eyes.

“Like even when we were just friends, why didn’t you tell me about her?” You add.

“To be honest, I didn’t think it was worth bringing her up, I– yes, she was my girlfriend but I didn’t think that I was her boyfriend anymore, the relationship was over.”

“But that’s so dumb, Eddie. You were still with her,” you mumble.

“I know,” he sighs, “but things with her were weird. She made me promise that things between us wouldn’t change but when I left Hawkins and came to California, she basically broke off contact, she never called and deep down I knew that she was with Jason. It hurt, I didn’t get why she was with me when she wanted someone else. She hurt me so many times before, she lied to me, she cheated on me. I was a mess back then but I got used to it, to the lies and the things she did,” he pauses, scoffing at his old self, “I should have left her but every time I tried to leave, she would get inside my head, tell me that no one else would want me and it fucking scared me, y/n. I didn’t want to be alone but I didn’t want to be with her any longer either, I-I was conflicted.”

“But you left Hawkins, by yourself. You were alone.” You say, shaking your head as you stare at him in confusion.

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “she brought up kids and marriage and that thought made me sick, I didn’t want that. I panicked and I just wanted to run away. I should’ve broken up with her first but I was still too attached to her and I knew I needed to break that emotional connection before leaving her because I knew that she would always reel me back in otherwise. I spent months hating myself for not being able to do what I should’ve done a long time ago, I didn’t think much of her, she was on my mind less and less and then you came along and everything changed. You made me feel good, you made me feel happy in a way she never did, you healed me. You showed me what it’s like to be cared for, what it’s like to be genuinely liked. You didn’t want me for something, you just wanted me.”

Your eyes are wide, soft and filled with empathy.

You had every reason to be angry at him, to have all these trust issues, anyone would think the thoughts that you had when you just found out about her.

But you understand him now, you believe him.

“I never realized what genuine reciprocated affection was like until it was too late.”

His brown eyes are filled with sadness as he thinks back to the night in Cincinnati.

“You made me so fucking happy, sweetheart and I– I ruined it.”

You shake your head, scooting closer, you take both of his hands in yours.

“We’ll start over, right?”

His glassy eyes flash with hope and he nods, whispering a small ‘yes’.

“I’m sorry about what happened with her, that she hurt you like that. She didn’t deserve you,” you frown as you think of the pain he had gone through in that relationship.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, “I uh, I realized that I never loved her like I thought I had.” Not like I love you.

“Really?”

He nods.

“Do you remember the night at the beach?”

“Of course I remember the night at the beach, Eddie.”

“You described love to me, how it’s supposed to feel with the right person, how it’s supposed to feel with your soulmate,” he whispers, hands running down your arms, he slowly takes your hands in his, “that’s how it feels with you, I would do anything for you and with you, you are my person. I never felt that way about her or with her.”

You feel the same way about him and he knows it.

“And how long have you really felt this way about me?” you ask, a softened gaze in your eyes.

“From the start,” he whispers, squeezing your hand, “it confused me at first, I have never felt this way about anyone else before, I didn’t know what it was at first. And then we talked about love and relationships and that night I realized that I never loved her, I admired her but I never loved her.”

“You are my person too, Eddie. You called me your best friend last night,” you smile, “I feel the same way.”

“Yeah? I’m your best friend, sweetheart?”

You nod.

“What about the mean girl group from LA?”

You gasp, “mean girl group? My friends are not mean,” you chuckle.

“They all glared at me.”

“They’re protective,” you shrug.

“Well after the last guy you’ve been with, I get it.”

You snort at his words, “he’s kinda famous you know?”

“I’m famous.”

“Yes you are,” you nod.

“Alright, what did you think of me when you first saw me?” He asks, curiously.

“Oh my god,” you chuckle as you think back to the night at the bar your friends had dragged you to. Corroded Coffin had a gig and it was the first time you had ever seen them play. Eddie was the one that caught your eye, of course. He wore a tank top, a black bandana around his head, black leather pants, his cheeks were flushed and god, he looked good.

“I was impressed by your guitar skills and your voice,” you admit, “I loved your style and you just looked so good.”

He smirks in satisfaction.

“Thanks sweetheart.”

“You’re welcome,” you snort.

Looking around the room, you think of a question. You look down at yourself and at his bed, an amused expression appearing on your face when you turn back to him.

“When’s the last time you pissed the bed? Steve warned me about your mattress.”

“What!” He yells in a whisper, a mortified look crossing his face as his cheeks flush red, “no way! I have not– okay 16 when I got wasted but that’s besides the point.”

You burst into laughter, closing your eyes, you throw your head back, “oh my god.”

“That’s not funny– okay, you know what, it is funny,” he laughs, “but look at you!” He exclaims, turning away from you, he opens his nightstand, pulling out a magazine that wrote about Corroded Coffin, featuring the backstories of each band member.

He shows you the pictures he ripped out of the magazine, which he totally plans on keeping.

“Look at that little ray of sunshine,” he grins, holding out the pictures of you as a kid, “look at how cute you were with your pigtails and your pink dresses, you used to be so sweet, what happened to that little girly girl?” He teases you with a smug look on his face.

You groan in annoyance, “the girly girl grew out of the dresses her mom picked out for her.”

You grow flustered, trying to snatch the picture out of his hand but he pulls it back, “uh uh, I’m keeping this, look at this cute little baby.”

“Eddie!”

He chuckles at you, brown eyes shining with amusement, “you were so adorable, I know that kindergarten me would have asked you to marry me if we knew each other back then.”

“Oh my god,” you groan, “suddenly, I’m tired. Good night.”

“Ouch, did my kindergarten self just get rejected?” He asks dramatically.

“Shut up,” you snort.

You can hear him shuffling around, putting the pictures back in the drawer. You would be lying to yourself if you said that it didn’t make your heart flutter, it’s cute that he kept the pictures of you.

He turns off the light and gets comfortable behind you. You don’t bother closing your eyes or actually trying to fall asleep, knowing that he will speak up again.

But he stays quiet for a while, a deep sigh interrupts the silence though.

“Eddie?” You whisper.

“Yes?”

“What do you wanna know?”

“How do you know that I wanna know something?”

You snort.

“I can feel it.”

“How?”

“It’s a girl’s thing.”

“Ah,” he says quietly.

Another minute or so passes before he lets out another sigh.

“Do you still want Henry to give you nipple piercings?”

You almost burst into giggles, out of all the questions he could have asked, this is the one that has been on his mind all along?

“Yeah,” you shrug, already imagining the frown appearing on his face. And just as you had suspected, he scoffs at your words and turns away.

“Did you just turn your back on me?”

“Yup.”

You turn towards him and scoot closer, staring at him in the darkness. You wrap your arm around his waist and hug him from behind.

Eddie’s heart skips a beat, excitement rushes through him and he melts into you.

“What happened to space?” He mumbles into the blanket.

You ignore his question.

“What’s wrong grumpy?”

“Grumpy?”

“Yeah, you’re a grumpy old man,” you whisper.

He gasps, turning around to face you, “old? I’m two years older than you.”

“Exactly, you’re like a dinosaur.”

He scoffs at your words, rolling his eyes playfully.

“Are you saying you are into grumpy old men?”

“Yeah, I was always into older grumpy washed up rockstars who are into younger women.”

Eddie can tell that you are trying to act playful and fine the way you always do, even today but the sadness still lingers in the back of your voice.

“Well, then you are my hot trophy wife,” he blurts out.

Your eyes widen and his do too when he realizes what he just said.

Wife?!

“If anything you’d be my trophy husband–”

“Well yeah, you’re gonna be my wife someday–”

You both speak at the same time.

“What?!”

The looks on both of your face’s are comical, both flustered and in shock.

“Well..” You start, “I always wanted a house husband,” you joke.

He scoots closer to you, close enough so the tip of his nose brushes against yours.

“Oh, I’m gonna be a dad too?” He smiles.

“Probably when we’re both drunk, I tend to make questionable decisions when I am.”

He chuckles at your words, “alright well, let's do it. We can have that american dream and all that shit, we’ll have that fucking white picket fence– I’m totally drawing some sick bats on it though.”

You giggle, eyes growing heavy as you get sleepy.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he smiles, “we’ll call our kid Arwen, she’s gonna be a little badass like her mom.”

Your smile falls a little, a bittersweet feeling settles deep within your heart as you feel yourself longing for something you might not ever get. A future with him, this future with him. He doesn’t actually want that, he told you so.

But you do.

The stupid white picket fence. You never wanted it, you wanted this life, the band, the tours, the concerts and yet here you are falling in love with the thought of a family with him.

“Sweetheart?”

“Yes?”

“Is it okay if I touch you? I wanna hold you.”

Tears well up in your eyes, your heart melts in your chest.

You wrap your arms around him and lay your head on his chest. He smiles at your action, placing his hands on the small of your back, he pulls you on top of him, kissing the top of your head, “thank you,” he whispers.

You close your eyes, begging for sleep to take over so you can stop thinking of something that will never happen.

Eddie has a dreamy smile on his face as he thinks of it though. Something he never wanted with her, he wants with you. He wants to build a life with you. He wants marriage and kids, a family.

He looks down at you with adoration in his eyes.

He swears to himself that he will do anything to make you happy, to keep you safe and protect you.

He will give you the world if you ask him to.

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nova-is-a-writer-now · 14 days

Text

Hidden embers

Chapter 5

Chapter summary: You and Joel have a much needed conversation to try and fix things, key word “try.”

A/N: Hi hellooo it’s hidden embers Wednesday (BETTER LATE THAN NEVER). Writing this story is genuinely bringing me so much joy, I’m glad you guys are enjoying reading it as much as i am enjoying creating this world. If you haven’t figured it out yet, this story is much more about the plot than it is about smut or fluff, so if that’s what you’re here for, you’re gonna have to be patient (it’s gonna be worth it i promise!!) Again, tysm for the support on this, the comments make me so so happy and motivate me to keep writing this, much appreciated 🤍

Warnings: No outbreak AU, no use of y/n, no sarah, Age gap, DBF!Joel, Slow burn, a tiny bit of angst, Mean!Joel if you squint

Series masterlist

You’re in a shit mood. Have been for a while, though you refuse to dig too deep to pinpoint when it started. It might’ve been around the time Joel kicked you out of his house, but honestly, it’s inconsequential.

The point is, your mood’s been sour for the past week, and this stupid boot you have to wear for your sprained ankle isn’t helping. What really pisses you off is the doctor saying that if you hadn’t walked on it, it’d be a grade 1 sprain instead of a grade 2.

‘Cause what the fuck does he know about why you refused that car ride home? What does he know about the churning, boiling anger twisting in your gut every time you hear the name Joel Miller? And then, to make it all worse, he had to recommend two weeks of bed rest so your ankle could heal properly and as fast as possible. Safe to say that doctor isn’t exactly on your list of favorite people right now.

On top of that, your mother’s been parading you around like a prized pony all week, forcing you to sit through those never-ending pageant meetings she insists on holding at the house. It’s like she’s playing the role of a doting, concerned mother in front of her friends, fussing over you as if you’re some fragile doll. Which is funny because you’ve told her on multiple occasions you’d rather stay in bed and rest your ankle than get dragged downstairs while on crutches, yet she insists on how rude it would be to not come greet the guests.

Thankfully, today’s a bit different. She’s gone out to scout venues for the pageant, leaving you in the care of your dad. Normally, you’d be relieved by that, but not today. Not when you overhear him on the phone inviting Joel over to watch the Cowboys game.

“Oh good, you’re up. Joel’s coming over,” your dad says with a grin as you make your way slowly towards the living room couch. “Figured we could all watch the game together. Like old times.”

You’re not a massive football fan, never have been, but watching the games with your dad was always something you enjoyed. It was your thing. Now, the thought of sharing that time with Joel makes your blood boil. Sure, he’s been doing this with your dad way longer than you have, but the last thing you need this week is Joel sitting next to you like nothing happened, like the astronaut-looking boot immobilizing your foot isn’t a constant reminder of why the injury got so bad in the first place. He might not be at fault for you walking all the way back home, but he’s certainly to blame for making you angry enough to do it.

The tightening knot in your chest isn’t just about what happened—though that certainly adds fuel to the fire—it’s about the mess of emotions you’ve been grappling with ever since. You’ve always prided yourself on being mature, on handling things with a level head and a clear mind. You’re the one who’s got it all together, the one people turn to when they need advice or a shoulder to lean on. But when it comes to Joel, all that goes out the window. You find yourself acting in a way you never have, even as a teenager.

You hate that you care this much, that his actions affect you so deeply, and that you can’t just brush it off like you do with everything else. You hate that what he is doing —the sudden coldness and firm boundaries— are probably the right thing for him to do. Hell, you even respect him for it, in a twisted way. He’s keeping a polite distance from his best friend's daughter, and it makes it that much more pathetic that it upsets you so much. His rejection, no matter how justified, still stings like a slap to the face, and the way he went about it, so abrupt and dismissive, only adds salt to the wound.

But it’s more than just anger at him. It’s anger at yourself, too. For feeling this way. For letting it get to you. For wanting something that you know you shouldn’t, something that feels wrong on so many levels. You can’t help but feel a creeping sense of shame, like you’re betraying the version of yourself that you’ve always tried to be—strong, independent, unshakeable. And yet, here you are, feeling small and foolish because of a man’s mixed signals.

You’re used to being in control of your emotions, but this? This is new, uncharted territory, and you don’t know how to navigate it without crashing and burning. So, you do the only thing you can think of: you shut down. You sweep all those feelings under the rug, acting like nothing happened and doing your absolute best to avoid Joel as much as possible. Because if you can’t be the strong, composed woman you’ve always tried to be, you can at least be the one in control of this situation, even if it’s just on the surface.

“I don’t know, Dad,” you start, trying to keep your voice casual. “I’m not really feeling up to it today. Maybe you two could just watch it without me?”

He gives you a look, that ‘puppy lefton on the side of the road’ look he always uses to get you to do whatever he wants. “C’mon, sweetheart. It’ll be fun. Besides, you’ve been cooped up all week. You need a little excitement.”

Excitement is the opposite of what you need right now. Maybe a day of peace and quiet would fix every single issue in your life, but there’s no arguing with him, not when he’s already so excited about it. So, you force a smile and nod. “Alright, I’ll watch.”

But as soon as you hear Joel’s truck pull up in the driveway, that forced smile slips off your face. When he walks through the door, it takes every ounce of willpower not to roll your eyes. He’s all smiles, greeting your dad with a hearty handshake, but when his gaze lands on you, it’s different. There’s a flicker of something—concern, maybe something else—but you don’t give him the satisfaction of reacting.

“Hey, kid,” he says, all casual-like, as if nothing ever happened.

“Joel,” you reply, your tone clipped, arms crossed as you turn back to the TV.

Your dad, oblivious as always, doesn’t notice the tension crackling in the air between you and Joel. He’s already settling into his recliner on your right, meaning Joel will have to sit to your left on the couch. You try to muster up the polite Southern girl your parents raised you to be, but your patience is thinning by the second, and you feel like a time bomb ticking away.

You do your best to ignore him. The game’s playing on the TV but your mind is far from focused on it. Your dad seems deep into it though, and for a second, you almost think Joel is, too. But then, out of nowhere, you feel his eyes on you.

“Didn’t think Presscott had it in him this season,” Joel says casually, trying to draw you in. His voice is low, familiar. He’s not even looking at you directly, just tossing the comment out there like he’s fishing for an easy reply.

You shrug without taking your eyes off the screen. “Guess we’ll see.”

The silence that follows isn’t comfortable, nothing like the ones you two have shared before. Even though you know you’re being short with him, you can’t stop yourself. It’s easier to keep things shallow, to avoid any real conversation, because if you let him in—if you let the words flow—the dam will break, and you’re not ready for that. Not here. Not with your dad in the room.

Joel doesn’t give up, though. “I remember last season your dad nearly threw the remote through the TV” he says, chuckling softly. “Thought he was gonna lose it when they botched that fourth-quarter drive.”

He’s trying to be light, trying to break the tension, but it grates on you. You force a laugh, but it’s hollow. “Yeah. Funny.”

You glance over at him, just briefly, and catch the way his brow furrows. It’s like he’s trying to gauge where you’re at, trying to figure out how to soften you up —the reason why he's so interested in doing so right now is beyond you. You can see the conflict there, the way he’s holding back—just like you are—but neither of you is willing to be the first to crack.

“How’s the um…” Joel starts again, voice softer now, “how’s the ankle? Healing alright?”

It’s such a simple question, but it feels like a loaded one. You swallow hard, the anger bubbling up in your chest. “Just peachy.” you say through gritted teeth, still not looking at him. “Let’s watch the game.”

Joel shifts beside you. You can feel him trying, can sense the struggle in him to connect in some way, but you won’t give him the satisfaction. Not after the week you’ve had, not after the way he’s been messing with your head.

He’s quiet for a few minutes, and you almost think he’s given up—until he tries again. “Look, I know we haven’t talked since—” he starts, but you cut him off with a sharp shake of your head.

“Drop it, Joel,” you mutter, so low your dad can’t hear. You still don’t meet his eyes. “Not now.”

Joel lets out a breath, and you feel the tension between you tighten, like a rope pulling tighter and tighter with every second that passes. He falls silent again, and for a while, the only sounds in the room are the commentators on the TV and your dad’s occasional cheers or groans at the game.

But it doesn’t feel over. The conversation, the tension, the unsaid words—it’s all still there, simmering beneath the surface, and you know it’s only a matter of time before something gives.

At halftime, your dad stands up to stretch his legs. You’re almost relieved when he breaks the silence, muttering something about his age. Joel laughs stiffly before replying with a quiet “Ditto.”

“I ran into Maryanne the other day, you know, the one from down the street. She was askin’ after you.” your dad says, grinning like it’s nothing. “Wanted to know if you ever got her message. You planning on callin’ her back?”

Joel hesitates, and you catch the slight shift in his posture from the corner of your eye. Your dad’s words hang in the air like a loaded gun, and suddenly, the room feels too small, too stifling.

Your stomach twists. Without thinking, you stand up abruptly, ignoring the sharp pang in your ankle as you do. “I need some air,” you mutter, voice clipped.

“Hey! Use the crutches kid, doctor said you still need ‘em.” Your dad calls after you.

“I’m fine dad, I’ll be out for just a second.” you don’t bother looking back as you make long strides towards the door.

You make it to the porch, the cool air doing little to calm the storm raging inside you. You lean against the railing, gripping it so hard your knuckles turn white. You’re furious—furious at him, at yourself, at this whole damn situation. How did you let it get this far? How did you let Joel Miller, of all people, get under your skin like this?

Minutes pass before you hear the door creak open behind you. You don’t have to turn around to know who it is. You can feel his presence, heavy and familiar. He’s quiet as he steps out onto the porch, giving you a little space, like he knows better than to push his luck right now. You only hear him setting the crutches up against the railing, next to where you stand.

“You alright?” he asks, his voice rougher now, not as soft as it was earlier. There’s a wariness to it, like he’s testing the waters, unsure of how far he can go.

You don’t turn to look at him. “Let’s not do this.”

“Do what?”

“Acting like you care while I act like I don’t.”

He shifts behind you, and you can hear the hesitation in his breath before he responds. “I do.”

You huff out a bitter laugh. “Funny way of showing it.”

He doesn’t answer right away, and you hate how the silence stretches between you, filling the space with all the things you’re not saying. Finally, he steps closer, but not too close—just enough that you can feel his presence at your back.

“I’m sorry for last week. It wasn’t right, I was… in a mood. Had nothing to do with you.” The lie is heavy on his lips, you can tell even though you haven’t known him long enough to figure out all his tells.

“Seems like it had a lot to do with me, couldn’t wait to get me out of there.” You’re being petty, you know. But he’s pushing you and you can only be patient for so long.

“Don't be like that…”

“So, how’s the whole gardening thing working out for you?” you press him, pumping the brattiness up a notch.

He stares at you, a glimmer of frustration rising in his eyes. “About as well as ignoring doctor’s orders to rest your ankle, I’d imagine.”

You narrow your eyes at him, resisting the urge to snap back. “I’m doing just fine, thanks.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” he mutters, his tone laced with sarcasm. “You’re real good at takin’ care of yourself.”

Your jaw tightens, but you keep your voice steady. “I don’t need someone to babysit me.”

“That what you think I’m doin’?” He steps a little closer, his voice dropping lower, almost challenging. “Babysittin’?”

You look away, the intensity in his gaze making it hard to hold. “I don’t know what you’re doing, Joel. One minute you’re... I don’t even know, and the next you’re pushing me away.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and you can feel the weight of his eyes on you. “Maybe I’m just tryin’ to do the right thing.”

“By keeping me at arms length?” you ask, finally turning to look at him again. There’s a vulnerability in your voice that you hate, but it slips out anyway.

“By not makin’ things harder than they need to be,” he says, his tone softening slightly, though there’s still a hint of frustration there.

You sigh, the fight draining out of you. “Yeah, well, it’s clearly not working out great.”

The silence that follows is heavy, filled with all the things neither of you is willing to say. But there’s a shift in the air, a slight easing of the tension that’s been coiling between you both.

“Look,” he says after a moment, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean to… I just—”

“It’s fine,” you cut him off, not wanting to hear whatever half-assed apology he’s about to offer. “We’re fine.”

He nods, though you can tell he’s not entirely convinced. “Yeah. We’re fine.”

You both stand there for a few more seconds, the conversation lingering in the air like smoke, not fully dissipating but not choking you either.

“Guess we should head back in,” you finally say, breaking the silence. Your voice is calmer now, the anger simmering down to a low burn.

“Yeah,” he agrees, stepping back to give you space. “We should.”

You turn to head inside—using your crutches this time— and for a brief moment, your shoulder brushes against his. The contact is brief, almost accidental, but it sends a jolt through you. Neither of you acknowledges it, but the feeling lingers as you walk back into the house.

As you settle back into the living room, there’s still an odd tension between you, something unspoken that neither of you wants to touch. The game is back on, and you both pretend to watch, but your thoughts are elsewhere, circling around everything that was just said—and everything that wasn’t.

It’s not perfect, and it’s not exactly comfortable, but it’s better than before. The air is clearer, if only slightly, and though the weird vibes linger, you both settle into a truce of sorts.

For now, it’ll have to be enough.

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