#I hate permutations and combinations

[studyingscribbles]

How to study math without ripping my hair out

[joonsytip]

All Too Well || Wonwoo

Synopsis: With Wonwoo's dilemma hitting the wall and your perseverance getting stronger, will the events unfold as foreseen or the fate will turn its course?

Word Count: 2k

Third and final installment of Wonwoo drabble series (set in the Withering for You universe but can be read as a standalone drabble series).

[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]

Say Don't Go | So It Goes | All Too Well

It's been a week since Wonwoo has seen you. When he woke up that fateful day along with nothing but the void you, it didn't take him long to recollect the happenings from within the car to his sheets. The slightly recovered bruises on his knuckles and the bloodstains on his bedroom wall are the witnesses of the frenzy state he was in, still is.

The guilt of sleeping with you eats him up. The regret of getting wasted and causing the slip of his true feelings and also his dick into you, makes him wanna get swallowed by the ground. He hates that his subconscious mind was conscious enough to hear your sobs but did nothing to stop them.

Wonwoo contemplates for the whole week that follows. He wonders if he should contact you or let you have your space and contact him whenever you're ready.

He's not clear in head, unsure of what he'd say on seeing you again.

Sorry, it was a mistake. He wonders if he should go ahead with the classic lie and be an entitled jerk, letting you berate him which would gradually help you in letting go those feelings for him.

It wasn't a mistake, I really meant everything I said and did but sorry we can't be together. This seemed too much of truth bombing in a situation where the other party (you) is already hurt beyond repair.

In his mind, he tries several other permutations and combinations but never considers that one way which would save everyone from the headaches and all the heartbreaks.

Everyone can sense the shift, something has definitely happened by the way you have been avoiding meetups and can guess the reason to be Wonwoo. They can't pinpoint exactly but they're sure it started right after that night's party.

"I need you to take everything off your chest while I'm asking you nicely.", your best friend tells you, "My patience has been thinned nowadays and don't make me loose my temper."

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip, as you look at her and Seungcheol whose eyes are begging you to comply with his wife because she can indeed be scary.

"Do you want Seungcheol to be gone from here?", she asks, her gaze softening, "It's okay, he won't mind."

Before you could answer, Seungcheol is already off his seat saying, "I'll head back to the office, have some matters to take care of.", and he leans to peck his wife on forehead, "Call me if you need anything and let me know once done, I'll come and pick you up."

After Seungcheol leaves, a comfortable silence falls upon.

"You're already showing.", you say smiling and your best friend mirrors one to you.

"Four months already", she says caressing her protruding belly, "Time flies by, I swear it feels like yesterday I took the test and it came out positive. Seungcheol had cried the whole night, holding me close. Though he has became a lot more sensitive than me.", she adds and looks at you, "But enough about us. I came here just to make you lift some weight off. I could have brought Gyu, but I thought we should have a one to one before letting the guys know if at all you're willing to."

When your gazes meet, you can tell that she already has an inkling because her hunch has always been accurate. So you squirm in your seat and after failing to keep the tears at bay you tell her what had exactly happened in a messy-teary state.

After consoling you, she waits for you to stop crying, blinking back her own tears.

"Are you planning to address this to Wonwoo?", she asks softly.

You shake your head, "He probably doesn't even remember."

"Bullshit." she scoffs, "Are you waiting for him to contact you? Do you want me to talk to him?"

You chuckle with all bitterness, "Yes, I wanted him to contact me but it's been a week already and honestly, I don't even want to see him now because he'll repeat the same words, which are not exactly pleasant to hear. I hate how right headed he is, how all his fears are legit. I wouldn't have done it either."

You lean up to look at her, "Also, I don't want you to talk to him and I'd appreciate it if you can keep this to yourself because we're in the same group and the guys would cause a ruckus if they become aware."

She strokes your hair in a soothing manner and you almost drift off until she nudges you to tell something but you're already dismissing her off, "Don't even think of trying to do anything. I've just accepted my fate, I'll gradually move on."

Another week passes by and Wonwoo thinks he's ready to confront you. He had taken the entire office, everyone in his circle by surprise by taking an entire week off. Seungcheol being an amazing boss and understanding friend easily granted his request in the best hopes of having his friend clear the clouds clogging in his head.

Wonwoo sends you a text asking you to meet him whenever you're free. He clutches the phone tightly in his hands, feet tapping anxiously as he awaits your reply.

When he doesn't receive one after an hour, he's calling you only to be unanswered. Rationality leaving his bones, he keeps on calling your number until it gets recieved and it's an unfamiliar male voice answering the phone.

There's a sharp pang in his heart when he gets to know that it's your blind date who has picked up the call since the phone kept ringing and you've gone to washroom. Though he wants nothing but to rush to whenever you currently are, he curtly ends the call and decides to wait for your reply to his text.

His unwavering gaze directed towards the phone might have worked because he receives a response late at night and he's meeting you tomorrow.

You are unfazed, never once thinking about Wonwoo. That's what you try to tell yourself, that's how you plan to act in front of him. You don't anticipate his arrival at your apartment, that's partially true because you know you're gonna get heartbroken again because even though you want to tie the loose ends, you're sure he's only coming to cut them off wholly.

So you tell your mother who has been nagging you to get married to set you up for blind dates and this time you promised you'd seriously consider them with marriage perspective. Hence, today you're going to another date with someone you know this time and not at all impressed about.

The doorbell rings and you check the monitor to confirm that it's Wonwoo before letting him in.

"Are you going somewhere?", Wonwoo asks as he settles on the couch and you take a seat on the chair.

You nod, "Going on a date with Minjun."

Wonwoo's jaw clenches, his hands ball into fists as he asks, "Kim Minjun? He's a womanizer, Y/N. Didn't you go on a date yesterday?"

You scoff, "And how does that concern you anyway?", your lips curl up, "People can change after marriage."

Wonwoo short circuits at your verbal jab.

"Marriage? How can you even consider Minjun out of all people?"

Your expression turns grim when you say, "If I can't marry the person I love then marriage for me would be just another business deal, another merge to benefit the company, solidify our social status."

Trying to maintain the unbothered facade, you ask, "Why did you want to meet?"

"Why did you leave me alone in the bed?", Wonwoo asks toning down, "When you left, you took all of the warmth with you."

You suck in a sharp breath, breaking the eye contact.

"Within these two weeks I went through all sorts of possibilities from never acknowledging the fact that we slept to being a jerk, dismissing it as a simple hookup to letting you down subtly.", he gets up and walks up to you, crouching in front of you, "But as I pondered over, the only honest answer residing within my heart was not to be a coward anymore and be honest about my feelings, be honest with you."

Your heartbeat quickens, as his hands encase yours, you feel the warmth seep from him.

"I love you, Y/N.", Wonwoo confesses, "Like you, I have also harboured feelings for you for a long time. I cherish every moment we've spent together."

You're eyes go wide, heart constricting in chest. You feel your inners catapulting. You thought you know him all too well to give up upon the possibility of being together but witnessing him stripping bare in front of you is something you've always wanted but never expected to happen.

Wonwoo gently holds your face, voice soft, gaze emitting tenderness when he says, "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for projecting my fears and insecurities upon you. But I have realised that you're worth everything and above. For you, I would fight the world if you allow me to stay by your side."

Rendered speechless, your teary eyes look at him with such anguish that it makes Wonwoo want to beat himself for breaking your heart over and over again.

Moments pass by and you both fall into comfortable silence. You're now seated on his lap, head laying his chest as he gently strokes your hair.

"It won't be easy.", you speak, head still downed, as your hand takes in his, entwining the fingers, "But I'd go to hell and back for you if time comes."

You shift back to look at him, "And I promise to be your shield, if anyone tries to hurt you or Wonseok, they'd have to face me first. I won't let anyone hurt you.", your gaze softens, "All of your worries, fears and sentiments are valid, Wonwoo. But it would be nice if you share them with me from now on because you're not alone, we're in this together. I love you."

Wonwoo swears he doesn't cry easily but your words seem to have opened the floodgates as his loud sobs echo throughout the house.

"Thank you.", he smiles as you wipe his tears and leans in to kiss you.

As your lips graze, the shrill ringing your phone startles you both. You grab it from the couch and the screen flashes Kim Minjun as the caller.

There's a sharp change in Wonwoo's expression as he takes the phone from your hand, putting it on speaker and answering it.

"Uh sorry, who's this speaking? Could you please get Y/N on the phone?"

There's a terse movement in the muscles of his jaw as Wonwoo responds, "I'm Jeon Wonwoo, Y/N's--", his gaze shifts at you, lips stretching in a smile, "Lover. I'm cancelling the date and please don't ever contact her again."

As soon as he hangs up, you tease him, "Lover huh? Since when?"

Wonwoo grins like he's drunk in love, he might as well be, "Since the day, you got drunk and danced on the tabletop after the semesters ended."

You gasp, "What do you want in exchange for deleting this memory?"

He's so lovesick, giggling cutely and being all touchy, "What about making new ones and keeping this one in my vault, sealed?"

Your heart flutters at the insinuation. True to your words, you'd surely fight the world to keep him with you.

And your lover chants all's well that ends well to ending up with you, gratefully with all his heart.

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

[gold-onthe-inside]

the art of the game

who? spencer reid (s5) x piper bishop (fem!oc) summary: after hotch's confrontation with george foyet leaves him in witness protection with his family, spencer re-evaluates exactly what he's willing to lose for the bau. content warnings: spencer's knee injury, mentions of piper's scars, not canon compliant. word count 0.7k (it's a baby fic) author's note: going off of the same themes as ataraxia. not my best work, or the best ending, but i'm happy enough with it. written as part of spring-fest. find more of my oc work here.

Piper glanced up from the treatment plans she was consulting on, curled up in an armchair opposite Spencer, watching him stare at a chess board, in the middle of playing an old game, only he hadn’t made a move in 10 minutes. “Stuck?” Piper asked, even though she probably couldn’t help with anything chess-related. She just had the gnawing feeling that he wasn’t obsessing over chess moves.

“Something like that,” Spencer murmured absently, his chin resting on the heel of his palm, and she narrowed her eyes a little.

“You know verbalising the problem helps,” Piper reminded him, raising her brow and tilting her head, her hands automatically closing her laptop.

Spencer inhaled, looking at her and worrying his lower lip. “It’s not a… I just… I realised why Gideon left,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Her brow furrowed. “Okay. Why?”

Spencer took a breath, raising his shoulders helplessly. “Because he was tired of playing the same game and hoping for a different outcome.” He looked at the chessboard. “I mean, think about it. No matter what permutation and combination of moves and strategies you try, the game always has the opening, the middle, the end, and you either win or lose. And even if you do win—” he gestured to the pieces that had been taken out of the game, “— does the loss justify the win?”

Piper studied him, turning her words over in her head. “Like a Pyrrhic victory,” she said eventually, watching him nod slowly.

“Exactly,” he replied, his tone almost despairing. “So it becomes a question of how much you’re willing to lose before just conceding. And for every one of us, there’s a dozen of them.”

Piper sighed, putting her consults aside and crossed the space between to sit on his lap, careful to not injure his knee, legs draped over the arm of the chair, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “Where’s this coming from?” she asked softly, an arm around his neck, his winding around her hip, fingers playing with the hem of her shirt. Warm brown eyes watched him take a deep breath, then let it out, leaning against Piper’s shoulder.

“I just… I don’t know how Hotch does this,” he confessed quietly, and her hand tangled in his hair, gently rubbing his scalp, and his gaze lingered on the scar over her chest. “I was so scared we wouldn’t get there in time,” he almost-whispered, his thumb coming up to trace the healed over laceration. “And I can’t… Piper, I can’t bear the thought of losing you.” He blinked away a single tear, and Piper held him closer.

“I know,” she whispered into his hair.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” he murmured into the crook of her neck. “Especially when I can’t even… be in the field to protect you.” Piper breathed in deeply, closing her eyes, the scent of cedar filling her lungs. “Which isn’t to say you need me to protect you. Half the time, you’re the one saving my ass—”

“I get it,” she interrupted, speaking into his hair. “I couldn’t imagine being benched while you were in danger.”

“Things just…” Spencer let out a difficult sigh. “You know me. I like statistics, I like predictability, but… this job… sometimes it just defies statistics. It’s that… 0.05 percent variability that scares me the most. And with your… stubbornness, the chances of you being in the middle of the worst case scenario are so high that… sometimes I think… losing you is inevitable.”

Piper chewed on her lower lip, rubbing his shoulder, and let a beat pass before saying, “I hate to break it to you, Spence, but… that’s what life is. Prolonging the inevitable.”

“I don’t have to like it,” he muttered petulantly and Piper huffed, smiling as she squeezed him.

“No, you don’t,” she replied and Spencer took a deep breath, cheek against her chest.

“What if we just left?” he asked softly. “Run away, start a new life.”

Piper chuckled. “Yeah, what would you do?”

“I dunno,” he replied, leaning his head back to look at her properly. “Pursue library sciences, probably. Either that or become a cowboy.”

Piper laughed, all teeth and warmth, vibrating against him. “A cowboy? You?”

“What, I bet I’d look great in a hat,” Spencer countered, his voice jumping an octave, eyes caught on Piper’s smile.

“There’s a lot more to it than wearing a hat, Spence,” she told him and he shushed her.

“Don’t ruin it for me,” he warned her and Piper leaned in, kissing him softly, tasting coffee and chocolate on his lips, before parting.

“Okay. We’ll do it,” she agreed, giving into the fantasy. “But I’m not milking anything.”

“Deal.”

comments and reblogs appreciated <3

[thetentaclecommander]

Compel me. I'll read it.

It's funny to me the idea of having liked vs hated ships (vs indifferent ships). To be honest I don't have a hated ship list? I'll read ANYTHING with any ship. Any permutation and combination. Like, N/J is my ride or die ship (otp just feels dated these days). I'm just very much 'okay you have this ship. Now convince me of it'. I have encountered the most tame to the most wild out there ships in my fandom career (tm) and the most fun ones to me are the ones that go 100% balls to the wall in convincing me that these characters should be involved with each other in whatever that means. Compel me, make me love your take and your pair (or poly or whatever). Seeing ships in this way I've found fun gems that challenge the context of the very thing I'm a fan of and it's a wonderful feeling.

[mysevenprince]

10 days left for my finals honestly i am not at all taking this serious at all i am not able to prepare the topics that i hate omg permutation combination makes me want to rip out my hair

[underoospeterparker]

I HATE being sick and having a test in five days because my brain was not working at all this entire week and now I have to cram revision for the entire functions unit except polynomials & permutations and combinations

[neotrances-deactivated]

Do you have a list of all the gods?

yes but it is incomplete as these r the ones you see during the story but there are more i’ll put it under the cut bc it’s long + with plot information

there are three different types of gods the first being base gods

base gods reincarnate immediately after dying and are the foundation for other gods, they are reborn as adults and always respawn on parousias mountain

the second is combi gods, combi gods (combination) are the children of two base gods, they can only exist if their base god parents have sex and birth them, when they die they need their parents to bring them back and they experience growing up, as they are not born as adults but instead as babies, making a combi god is a serious act as you are bringing a new god into existence so base gods take this very seriously and debate and consider the consequences and potential of their child’s existence, their child will govern a combination of their parents dominion so for example if the god of love (propin) and the god of hate (perodi) have a child that child would be the god of obsession, and will have a combination of both parents powers at varying levels

the last are demi gods, these are offspring between base or combi gods with mortals, demi gods are not typically considered actual gods by everyone else bc of being half mortal and unlike the other two categories they often are not born with powers or very weak ones and do not really govern “anything” unlike combi gods who are born knowing what they govern, demi gods usually don’t know and will simply say they are the offspring of xyz god to honor their parents as it’s considered taboo to group ur self with the other gods as a demi, u aren’t considered a god just the offspring of one and as such ur only title is “offspring of x” all gods have names starting with P, and they know it intrinsically at birth but this is not true for demi gods, which is another reason other gods don’t consider them anything but mortal

i should also mention that because gods reincarnate often and are reborn all the time they experience gender differently so whenever they are reborn their iterations can be different, some that go by goddess and she / her pronouns in one life may chose to be referenced as just gods and he him in other lives regardless of appearance, and their current status is just what they prefer in this lifetime

and now the incomplete list of gods that show up in the story but this is not all of them:

base gods:

pre — the god of life and death, mother of all gods, she controls reincarnation

pae — goddess of the ocean

poe — god of the land

pan — god of air

the above four are the most powerful gods in the land, pre being the strongest, and while pae poe and pan roam the land of paxion they very rarely interact with the other gods let alone reveal themselves unlike the following base gods ⬇️

propin - goddess of love

perodi - god of hate

pecus - god of animals

percy - god of war

paloma - goddess of peace and tranquility

potus - god of wine and drugs

piper - god of prophecy

paril - god of judgement (morality and law)

pecun - god of luck

puella - goddess of children and family

poppy - goddess of craft and construction

paige - god of insight (books history and archives)

prudence - goddess of money

polly - god of medicine

pupa - god of growth (aging)

combi gods:

poenas - goddess of punishment

permut - god of chances

penny - god of flight

percip - god of harvest

pike - goddess of fish

petunia - god of obsession

pascal - goddess of art

pembroke - god of trade

pierre - god of tradition

petra - goddess of disease

plato - god of famine

penelope - god of clothing

Pricilla - goddess of domestication

pip - god of tectonics

demi gods:

syr - god of passion (our main character)

arvid - goddess of astronomy

fig - god of cooking

mirabel, florence, and edith, goddesses of celebration

again these are just the ones we see in the story, there are many gods and many many demi gods as base and combi gods outsource recreational sex to mortals, these are just ones syr comes into contact with or sees during the run of the story

[jonathankatwhatever]

Now barely 6 Sept 2024. I hope to hook on to the conversation running through me in which it was described that P can not equal NP because they represent the two different perspectives inherent in the formation of grid squares. In D-structure, P runs D3-4, which appears as searching for the permutations heading out, what we call Emanating. It’s then easier to see that NP runs D4-3. We call that Imanating because we can see that problems have solutions, local ones, which we discover, and that the Imanations connect to, even collide with the Emanations.

This eventually becomes a host of stuff, from permutations and combinations, to sets and symmetries, and I give up trying to do that in order. I was thinking about coherence, consistency and persistence last night. Thinking about how they describe what I guess we’re calling the wave space generated by the 2 perspectives inherent in gs. One reason is that these require localization, and reflect localization, because a Thing must be relatively consistent across its existence, must be relatively coherent across its existence, and must persist, meaning that its attributes as a Thing persist, and thus cohere consistently. You could also say that coherence in a Thing is demonstrated by people hearing voices. Or hearing music because each hears it differently, just as each plays it differently.

So that guarantees oh that image again. What is that? Hits hard, leaves fast. There are 2 perspectives and thus 4 when the inner and outer perspectives of the Thing are considered. And 4 invokes CM64 because each represents a specific CM16. I was thinking about this regarding DNA and its bases. I was trying to picture why that appears as it does in D3-4Space. It’s the embodiment of the fCM process as specific D3-4 existence. I think I’ve finally grasped that.

So, P runs in D3-4 within the I//I. That choice of notation has worked out amazingly well. Example is you can see how it means identity running in both directions, meaning both perspectives within the gsSpace. That’s it in a nutshell.

All these questions are related. I was trying to say earlier that Navier-Stokes or really the question of turbulence is best seen as like a Rod Serling story in which we are actually puppets and he shows the puppeteer we can’t see. It’s like trying to guess what play you’re in. Not really, but it’s a nice thought. The problem with the argument is you can infer due to the locality of coherence, consistency, and persistence what might be there, and thus what play you might be in.

I just realized that summarize so many of humanity’s problems. What play are we in? One of brute strength? Of lies? Of believing hateful Things? Of doing hateful Things? That’s all within the localization. And that fits to the finite nature of gs.

Can I say something fast about D6 relating to D3? Yes. Look at where they meet? At D3. So wherever they touch, given the ways we can count, it is at existence, not into D4 because that isn’t there at that D3 place or state or existence with the larger existence of the Thing. That clears up a lot for me. I’ve wondered how the D6 related to D3, and it was right there in front of me: at the existence, not into D4.

Just say it.

That means there’s a transition through D5 to D4, to D3, which makes sense because we then reach to D2, with that then building and taking apart each D2 in relation to each D3. And with D6 hitting the moment at D3, that means the D5 transition to the D4 which sits at the edge of D3’s instant are hidden. And that is the missing part of the turbulence thinking. I mean that we construct turbulence through D-structure’s Regularization into or down to gs, meeting the construction of gs from lower D. And now we can see more mechanically why: the hidden D5 transition enables the states and gsProcesses necessary. I’m thinking about like a meteor and the disruption it causes appear instantaneous and then after is so chaotically energetic you can’t tell much about what’s happening inside. There aren’t missing pieces. They’re in the D5 transition which relates over the reduction of D6 to D3.

Being this fluent in D-structure has long been a goal. I’m now able to use the notation better. Need sleep.

[writer59january13]

I relished being hungry for leftover Thanksgiving pop slop gloppy grub

(a poetic partial fiction blended, diced, fricaseed, marinated, mixed, pureed, sautéed, stewed... with fact)

Hmm... on second thought

lemme join anorexic club

until rib cage protrudes taut and visible

doubling as drum to drub

synchronized within heart of darkness,

especially when electrocardiogram exhibits

absolute zero vital sign,

cardiac arrest translates

as cessation to lub dub,

hence yours truly declared dead as doornail,

coroner report deems arrhythmia

directly linkedin to deliberate Machiavellian flub

courtesy the missus attempt to poison me

actually aborted cuz nanobots loosed upon body gripped with rigor mortis,

a minor inconvenient truth with earthling in the balance

cuz odorless and tasteless deadly toxins

rendered me convalescing

from bout with death, an oxymoronic

former slenderman gourmand.

Temporarily deceased

until said microscopic robots

avidly analogous to frenzied figuratively hogtied pigs

buzzfeeding at a trough creating porcine hubbub

invisible nanoids (0.1-10 micrometres)

accomplished programmed task,

whereby fatal microbes they did scrub away leaving me fit as a fiddle.

No matter she thoroughly, painstakingly

and lovingly didst strew

haphazardly she threw

leftovers together,

this blustery march like

November twenty fourth figuratively view

wing the remaining thirty plus days

of two thousand twenty three

thoroughly cooked in microwave until...

poor excuse for my meal appeared

with consistency of shoe leather.

Think the missus not afraid

of Virginia Woolf keen to experiment

treating me like the Gingerbread Hag would:

questionable resultant glop pantomimed

for my guessing pleasure,

never figure out in bajillion years

as amateurish Marcel Marceau charade

performance courtesy the spouse,

an entrée she gave - yours truly

immediately sought to evade

me subsequently evincing

horrific puckered mealy mouth

as though I swallowed hand grenade

figurative exploding oral cavity

feeble futile gesticulation inveighed.

Thus, methinks himself wise

to don cooking apron

please do not ask why

trumpeting self as master chef boyardee

so move over wife and allow husband to try

his hand (using skill - let) me prepare Thai and/or other Asian cuisine dish,

cuz when free to potschke

(To fuss or "mess around"

inefficiently and inexpertly), I haint shy

to blend (indiscriminately) ingredients

ofttimes yours truly barley able to ply

boiling water since significant other

does not give opportunity to this garden variety

and generic, gimlet eyed

gourmandizing guilt free

Earth friendly gumption generic goaded guy.

Every so often yours truly

gets so hungry, he could eat a horse

(yours truly jest kidding hoof course)

truth be told, I only eat one meal per day

all day from sunup to sundown, me a force

tubby reckoned with,

who if he gives way to vice

event chew wooly experiences remorse.

Hum glad to share mine reasonably rhyming hook

line and sink cup hated twenty six letters linkedin amidst

various combinations, formations, permutations,...

allows, enables, and provides a look

into the mindscape of Matthew Scott Harris

doth show himself with steely dangling

nonsense with sense and sensibility he forsook.

[pixiedust111]

Some Thoughts

I've been feeling so burnt out for past few days. And why not? I've been over studying (I revised the whole syllabus like 3 times before even the exam routine had been published!), over working, and over thinking everything without taking any rest. And as a consequence, they have been overwhelming my brain and body, draining my energy to the least. Besides, some circumstances have really been bothering me (outside this virtual world).

But, after my first exam, while I was returning back to home by bus, I'd thought about everything (I travel 40 kilometers to go to my university, so I took advantage of it).

Like, why I am doing all these things? Why I'm stressing over all those things that I can't control? Am I being self-centered? I can't even tolerate not placing in the top three in the class. I'm trying to get a job so hard... so I'm studying for government job, I had taken course from Coursera, I created multiple accounts on marketplaces. Needless to say, my exams are also ongoing. And besides all these things, I'm trying to improve my drawing skill (nothing can stop me from drawing, I know it's in my code, I mean, in my genes!) and working on programming projects. I'm worrying about my future. And now it feels like my brain and body are in a war. I can't take it anymore. I'm getting weaker and weaker and sicker and sicker day by day.

So, I'd been thinking about my recent YouTube video "Tinkerbell's interview", which I wrote the script like 8 months ago for. So, at a point, Tink said, "success is only an illusion that keeps us busy". I was like, wait! Doesn't it make sense? What defines success actually? Some standards defined by some powerful figures? Why I am rushing for it? Why I am getting upset when the reality doesn't align with the expectation? What I am doing? Why I am letting toxic people contaminating my life? Am I the same person who made three videos with the song "dare to risk it all" because of being so overwhelmed by its lyrics? Why I am becoming a person that I don't want to be?

So many questions........

I've felt like even my own video was trying to tell me something!

And I concluded to some decisions on that journey:

1. It feels better when you let things go!

2. No standards can define us since everyone is different and there are infinite number of permutations and combinations of genes that leads to this genetic variations!

3. I won't become the person that I hate; instead, the person I want to be!

4. I won't treat people by who they are but by who I am!

5. I'll always be kind and honest, no matter how toxic this world is.

Even if the entire world gets polluted, I'll stay pure. Even if, all the people become fraud, I'll stay honest. I won't let any toxicity poisson my heart. I'll expand my views, I'll broaden my mind, I'll elaborate my thinking and knowledge.

And when I become that "big", all those things will appear tiny and insignificant!

They won't be bothering me anymore!

[castle-dominion]

Castle 6x21 law and boarder

the skateboard episode liveblog

Foggy Skateboard motorized bike Love a good chase scene, u'd never be able to run away on board tho. Construction work? wet concrete or smth?

Castle totally would have gone through every permutation. (there is only one combination.) If you brag like that I wouldn't care if you lose Alexis & beckett <3 (someone already giffed) Caslt mr word man would NOT lose to beckett tho, unless he just got really unlucky with his words.

Becks is so pretty! (I miss s1 beckett tho) RC: Sounds like a scene from an action movie. JE: Yeah. I know. Especially when the biker started shooting and Logan crashed through that window right there. Wow cool casts. He's a young man, 2-4am he'd totally be out that late.

Always a sus key, why around the neck tho? KANIE LOVE KANIE LOVE KANIE LOVE I LOVE THE GIRLS girling out for a sec there & I'm so happy. Oh. I forgot that this episode was the one with ryan & esposito fighting like that... Actually since watching this ep, my fam was in a situation like that. My older (trans) brother is my dad's best man. Esp since dad's last best man was probably hella catholic & hates dad now for leaving his wife. which valid.

"Congratulations lanie" Thanks! Also idk who castle picked I'm not a boy! You really think it's one of you two? rysposito argument. he HAS spent every day lol KR: Oh Javi, I’m the obvious choice. If you can’t see it I can’t explain it to you.

Cool wall at her place! Ah tsa crap. Ooh skateboard tools! No wonder tsa would hate him. I know ppl who went to china for martial arts training (the sifu was some sort of ambassador & made good relations b/w canada & china) & came back with weapons. on the plane. Performance items, we called them.

Oof. I mean yeah that's like being a skaster for ya. (I should pic outfits. I like ryan.) Becks knows bikes! KB: Oh. A reigning champion unable to cope with defeat. (she looks to CASTLE with intent) That sounds familiar.

Wow a fight.

Wow cameras! I wonder who did the filming! She owned a motorcycle! Extremely handsome with a high degree of difficulty.

Like his hat & outfit. & austin. & tampa.

it looks like what it is what it looks like. (Yeah that's the definition of looking like smth) "omg life & death" ok shut up.

Wow early intro this time huh "My associate Mr. Castle"

"You hear about Logan's death or the break-in?"

Your GUN? Tony hawk my beloved. *looking up a pic of him bc idk what he looks like-- I can SORT OF picture him but idk if that's him. studying a photo of tony hawk every night before bed so I never become one of Those People.)

You remember the words exactly or are you paraphrasing?

Love the way castle walks with the coffee. Ooh castle is pretty! lol dark web moments THE-- THE ALBANIAN MOB? Albania is actually rly pretty.

lol esopsito OH RYAN'S FACE

mountain dew lol. Wow another semi-cool hat. Bummed? Look at this party. Ross De Koning: The albanian killed him? RC: what albanian? Me, speaking as RDK: you know, the albanian guy who yelled at him or w/e happened, isn't that why you're asking about the mob? Why else would you find a link to albanian organized crime?

Oh wait no it was 5 or 6 years ago. My man sent this guy to prison... the mom got seven years? enver who theoretically got the mom into it got less time? ugh.

Ooh lighting in this room, nice wood looking good... Found the Lord! I like it. You were willing to pay it? really? Get momma released early? That's kind of him! I like Enver!

RYAN GAVE HIM THE RECIPE? SECRET FAMILY RECIPE!?!? (even jenny's lol) Awkward pat on the back. Could clip, esp that facial expression. (but if I did i'd also clip ryan's face when esposito walked away after giving the novelty pen.)

Skateboarding with a heavy thing? Poor guy. I remember cycling to school with my backpack, lunchbag, zipper binder, & violin all on my back. Yeah. yeah...

Won't clip castle's eyebrows. Beckett totally let him win. Ooh it's a turntable of a scrabble game. Ah quixotic, idealistic to the point of unrealistic. Hm, they played an entire game of this, set design & writers, I wonder if it is legit.

I love the mythical Bill. They always say goodbye to Bill on the phone. I want Bill fanart. & by one of us I mean you. Ah true, bachelor party planning would probably be better by esposito. Ah true, Ryan is the high moral standing-- WAIT HE JUST CALLED HIMSELF PRETTIER XD "Did she beat you at scrabble again?" "is stephen king winning at texas hold em again?" "did somebody find naked pictures of you again?" (well the 2nd wasn't ryan but) JE: *pat pat* KB: ?

Wait I never grabbed an outfit pic! Noooo! Too late lol. Nice outfit today too but I think I've seen him wear it before & got a pic. Like how there was beckett's purple shirt that I saw in my clips when I was thinking about snapping a pic of it this ep-- turns out I got the shirt in a different ep already!

Ooh rock wall! I love climbing! Ooh maybe I should snap caskett's outfits. Oh. Good gravy. Lol there are easier ways to break in than lockpicks. Why go through the lock when you can just go through the door?

hi8? never heard of that. Hey becks is back to wearing that wierd beige thing...

That is why you never wear logos on your clothes.

Ah motorcross rider!

My man has adhd, motorcross performer? up in the middle of the night? jittering like that? yeah.

Ryan brought him a coffee sdjfoijsjjfkjlsdkjf *interrupts before castle can drink* *again* *almost again* *literally backs away* should I clip? no

that's where the 3k was from! He stayed inside? Why not escape with him? I mean yeah ask for a cut bro! *literally was criminaling right then*

Bacon brownies! "you had me at bacon" that was one of the last words he said bro. *lookingn ryan up & down like "you cockblocker" minus the cock* (actually new fic idea: ryan & esposito are trying to seduce Castle, & then at the end castle says "actually, I choose BECKETT!!" & the boys are like "well crap." & maybe it ends with "well now I have all this stuff for seducing men, whatever will I do with it?" & possibly *trying to impress eachother all along*) Ooh I can see names: sullivan-- WAIT SULLY'S STILL HERE! --& messer or w/e that one says (I saw it last ep too)

*cockblocking*

RC: Have you noticed anything odd about Me: ryan & esposito, yeah RC: ebosito & ryan Me: WHOM

OOoh love her hair! (Weird-nice. just sorry for you bc I beat you at scrabble.) My man looks like a baby. Or not I take it back.

HOO! I love ryan with a waistcoat that ties a bit tight on the lower back-- Mm! I'm gay but I'd be a lesbian for this man! (my 3d gender chess makes sense to me. except I suck at chess. I should post that.)

IDK TO CLIP BUT OH MY GOSH THIS. SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING. CAN'T SAY WORDS. TOO MUCH TOO GOOD

when they were looking around I totally thought that they were going to suggest a dead body. bc then it is a third person not them & also it's funny bc homicide detectives. but No Way.

Poor gal, her son is dead... Ah yes, the good old days. Neighbourhood stuff. Six years-- didn't we hear that? Oh wait it was 5 or 6 years ago that ever want to jail

It's that neighbourhood? of course they don't care abt the death of the 12yo. Love a good old camcorder cassette. CSU would have noticed that

6 seconds is a lot! Toory unrealistic tech magic moments. makes my baby bro mad.

Why NOW? why running out of time?

Tommy Fulton: *immediately assumes they are accusing him of murder*

What plan? Brett Zaretsky: You can’t kick me out of here. This man’s my client. TF: Youre fired.

Cute, skateboard video! Love it! lol me & my brothers. Little bro rly good, better than me, I feel like crap. At least little bro isn't loud about it. Oh heck you watched the murder!? Holy crap! & that's why the cam was on the ground, u dropped it as soon as u saw the attack to go help.

was this in present time? WAIT THIS WAS BACK THEN? WHAT KID IN A BAD NEIGHBOURHOOD HAD 5 MIL TO SPARE LIKE A DROP IN THE BUCKET? oh at least it was smth he didn't actually have As A Kid.

DK logo! De Koning! I like how in the back some ppl were still partying for a minute there.

Brah

RC: And to think all of this happened because Ross couldn’t bear being second best. (pause) So. Are you ready for another rematch?

Man-chat? After all ryan & esposito are basically one person. Best of both worlds RC: Um … guys, I’m, uh– flattered & honoured– KR: You’re welcome. JE: Yeah, you should be. RC: He chose alexis! alkjsdfhljksdfhsdjadfkjhhfdjeyb I am love love love love I am so happy. They look almost mad in their shock (just like my brother. dad's best man. except he's not a girl. tho he is trans so idk.)

KR: I did not see that coming. JE: I can’t believe I gave him my pen. KR: I can’t believe I shared our family’s secret recipe. JE: I can’t believe we just got beat by a girl. KR holds out a finger. KR: Let’s never speak of this again. JE: Speak of what? (won't clip)

A midnight sing-along of Grease? a What?

Why did you do that?

Oh yeah they used to play poker, I remember when the captain & everyone was at his place & then they caught a murder late at night... Yeah that was fun.

Ooh heheh, look at these two. Love them sm She has a bra AND a watch left!

Could you play strip scrabble?

that was fun

[katherineholmes]

2, 3, 5, 6, 9, 18, 19!

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

Well, I don't see Elijah ever agreeing to bottom. He has those soft dom vibes going on, the casual condescension, the mocking, just general Elijah fuckery as Feral said recently. He has control issues, not as bad as Klaus, but he wants to control every piece on the board, he wants to be the one to solve the problems, he was put into the role of protector/caretaker a long time ago, and he both wants and needs it. So I can't see him bottoming, the only time it might happen is if Elena is topping from the bottom (which is pretty much how their dynamic is anyway.)

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I've already answered that here.

5. worst discord server and why

Uhhh, there was a dark fic server that I was a part of for a while, where the mod just went crazy. He wouldn't enable emoticons or sending media in channels and we had to ask him every single time. And then he got into a fight with another member on the server, and started mocking anyone who tried to explain her point in the argument.

It was weird, when I pointed out that his behaviour was childish and unacceptable, he said 'lol', so I left, and we all made our own server.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

Nian - I still see edits of those two, and how they should be together. It was so toxic when s6 of TVD was filming and airing, honestly just terrible. A makeup artist came forward and said Nina was pushed into a corner by Ian, death threats were sent to Nikki Reed, YT edits were made, an entire section of fans wished Ian would leave Nikki to be with Nina. All three of them were pitted against each other in every permutation and combination, it got so bad that Ian Somerhalder has openly discussed his dislike for the section of fans who harassed his wife to that extent, and I don't blame him.

9. worst part of canon

I've already mentioned the sire bond in a different ask, so it's going to be the Travellers because wtf was that. Even now, I don't understand what their motive was. I mean what is it with the TVD writers and their inability to write romance? Want Delena together - sire bond, want Stelena together - mystical doppelgänger soulmates.

I'm also not a fan of the fact that they made Stefan a doppelgänger, they had extremely compelling doppelgängers in the form of Katherine and Elena and yet, instead of showing them bond or work together we get them fighting over a guy, I mean, why? Just why?

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Tyler/Jeremy - Those two had chemistry, they hated each other, they fought each other, but Jeremy is extremely sympathetic towards Tyler when he learns that his dad is abusive. I will die on this hill, but Jeremy should've been the one to help Tyler through his werewolf transition.

It should've been Jeremy doodling nonsense to keep Tyler's spirits up, it should've been Jeremy in the cellar, helping Tyler during the first full moon, it should've been Tyler getting Damon to back off from Jeremy, it should've been Jeremy, Tyler and Elena bonding on movie nights. The chemistry between Tyler and Jeremy is fire, they are tortured artists, grieving, their lives upended by the supernatural even though they aren't directly related to it. I need more Tyler and Jeremy (and I'm going to write it into one of my fics too).

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Lucien Castle. I was always a bit indifferent towards him, until he killed my girl Cami, then I hated him. But even on rewatch, knowing what he's done, I'm still a bit intrigued about him. I've recently been analysing his character a bit for a fic, and I can't help but like him. He's a little like Klaus, but he's so compelling just as he is, which is a shame, because all he wants to be is like Klaus.

I still believe he had a lot of potential, even more than what they had showed. He's the true beginning of the downfall of the Mikaelsons, and he's creepy af, not to mention what he did to Cami. But truly, he works for hundreds of years just to take the Mikaelsons down, and actually succeeds, even Klaus is running scared of him. Even if he died, the damage was done.

[life-gave-me-oranges]

I now have the skill to tell you at which number some word would come in a dictionary made of all the words formed from any given letters. i believe and agree that it is an important skill since that is how you use dictionary - find the serial number of that word and then count the words to get there.

[69shadesofgray]

is it wrong if i ask y’all the answers to 6 of my math problems so i can scrape by this goddamn class with a 90??? cuz i’m like, 6 questions away from dropping to a fuggin’ B and i can’t figure this shit out and i’m maaaaaaaaad 

anyway i’m linking them all below the read more feel free to ignore idc

just kidding there’s only 4 questions i need to scrape by, and then hopefully the test is ok bc i’ll be able to use my notes BUT WHO REALLY KNOWS ITS ONLINE WHEN ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE so F U C K you coronavirus going back to school was supposed to be .. not this. whatever. fuck it 

[theharddeck]

🎊@theharddeck's grand opening 🎊

I was going to try to find a fun name for this but it's smutty permutations.

Just a PSA, I've just hit 20 prompts for this that I am s t o k e d to write for y'all, but we're going to call it closed, for now. Thanks to everyone who prompted, and I hope you guys like them!

Basically I have both a lot of feelings about TG:M characters and some prompts I want to try, so I would love for y'all to tell me how you want to see them mixed! If a combination strikes your fancy, drop me an ask with a character/ship, and the prompt you want (under the cut), and I'll see what I can do! You can see what's in the pipeline here.

Should go without saying, but as the premise of this event is NSFW, minors, please do not engage.

Prompts:

"I know you can take more of me."

"Gonna fuck a baby into you."

"You're doing so good for me."

"Show me how you take care of yourself when I'm not here."

"No, I want to hear you."

"Feel what you do to me."

"Don't look at me like that."

"Sit on my face."

"Can't let any of that cum slip out."

"Baby, that's only half of it."

"Play with yourself."

"This doesn't feel like friends, baby."

"On your knees."

"What a pretty sound you just made."

"Slow down."

"Did this cunt/cock miss me?"

"You want me to choke you?"

"Did I say you could come yet?"

"Why don't you show me how bad you it?"

"Whose cock/cunt is this?"

"Where do you want me to come?"

"Do you want the whole building to hear what I'm doing to you?"

"You like what you see?"

"How long have you been dripping for me?"

"Still think this is a bad idea?"

"How are you so good at that?"

"Do you think you deserve my cock/cunt/cum?"

"You might hate me, but this body knows how good I am to you."

"Your little fucktoy."

"That's my good girl/boy/baby."

"You taste so good."

"Say my name."

"It's almost like you want me to punish you."

"Breed me."

"Daddy/Mommy"

"You feel better than I'd imagined."

"Not like this."

"You know nobody else fucks you like I do."

"Moan for me."

"You don't get to tell me what to do."

"I can feel how close you are."

"Kiss me."

"Give it to me."

"I'm sorry, I can't hold on any longer."

"You haven't earned that yet."

"That's a hell of a proposition."

"Look at me."

"I can't wait until we get home."

"You know how I like it."

"Mine."

Characters: Any and all Top Gun Maverick characters! I have an affinity for Hangman, Bob, Phoenix and Coyote (not in that order), but I'm happy to expand into other characters!

Some other notes:

I will not write incest, cheating, or dub/non-con.

I don't write Mav/Rooster; that is a whole father figure.

All xReader fics will use second person rather than Y/N.

If you have requests on fem/male reader, please include that in your ask...

as well as anything you'd want me to stay away from!

also if you want to be on any taglists, do let me know.

I hope this is something people are interested in, and I'm excited to write for y'all!

[samsspambox]

Parallel theory? I'm listening, go on ahead and ramble :D

hECK YEAH IM GONNA RAMBLE!!!!!

Okay so I noticed this pattern where we as a fandom tend to group the bois into groups of two in different combinations. It seemed really interesting to me and I started to pay attention to the combinations and why people did them. Then I started to pick up on a pattern that later became the Parallel Theory! So without further ado:

Parallel Theory: All Good Things Come in Pairs 

(~800 words)

When you look closely, you find two main patterns in terms of characterizations and/or facts. 

If one thing applies to one protagonist, it applies to all (ex: they’re all into doing a type of sport, they’re into charity work…) 

If one thing applies to one protagonist, it applies to one other (in varying degrees) while being false for the remaining two boys 

The Parallel Theory (bc they’re like parallel lines, two different lines that never meet opposite of each other) is the second bullet point that, in my opinion, keeps getting proved time and time again. It applies to both their characters and, interestingly enough, sometimes their clothing. I’ll give three examples that each increase in specificity. 

EXAMPLE 1: Watches (Permutation 2) 

In each of the standard outfits, both Artem and Vyn wear watches. Inversely, Luke and Marius don’t. This is something that can change because it’s aesthetic, and it has. Marius wears a watch in his Suit Outfit and Luke wears one in his RRG outfit. But in terms of when we were first introduced, there is one pair that regularly wears watches, and one that does not. 

EXAMPLE 2: Harrowing Past (Permutation 3)

Now let’s get a little more specific. Thinking about the past of the NXX, we have two members that we… really don’t know much about. Luke and Vyn’s past are shrouded in mysteries. Luke spent 8 years away from Stellis and aside from the little tidbits he lets himself share, we know nothing. And even then sometimes you have to weasel it out of him because he’s just that much of a closed book about it. Similarly, we don’t know much about Vyn’s past in Svart until he tells us. I haven’t really looked at his 3rd birthday card, so I don’t know how much he reveals, but he’s also a closed book regarding his past. Artem and Marius aren’t so much. We know much more specific events about Marius’ life because he’s been in the public eye for longer and is happy to share. Artem (and his mom LMAO) are also happy to share their past and are a lot more open about it. 

(There’s also a sub-point to this that’s pretty shitty but,,,I mean I’m right. Artem and Vyn both have their full set of biological parents while Luke and Marius don’t,,, I’m sorry) 

EXAMPLE 3: Reluctant Heir to the Throne (Permutation 1)  

Segwaying a bit on Vyn’s past, from what we do know is that he’s the son of a duke. It’s not a spoiler anymore since his 2nd birthday card’s whole plot is about this. Anyway, that stands to reason that he is next in line for that particular title should his father pass away (or abdicate… idk maybe he wants to find love again). But we know that Vyn doesn’t want that life, we know that Vyn hates the hypocrisy and stuff back in Svart. Marius’s throne isn’t much of an actual throne, but the position of CEO. We know that the only reason he even is CEO is because Giann is missing. He’s implied he doesn't want the position and is ready to bounce the second that Giann is back. Artem and Luke don’t have that, they had to work for what they had now and very much wanted their positions.

There’s obviously more things (such as Luke and Vyn wearing 3 layers in their sprites, Marius and Artem’s secret identities, Artem and Vyn being guest lectures at Stellis U) but I just wanted to highlight that this theory applies to all combinations of protagonists. It's also the type of thing that when you look at it, it’s hard to ignore. 

It also makes theorizing/headcanon-ing super duper helpful. So, back to last night’s thought and following the parallel theory: if Marius has piercings, there’s a non-zero percent chance that one of the NXX members also has piercings. Artem, in 6.2, recounts that he’s worn earrings to costume parties before but made no remark about if they were clip-ons or not. There’s still a chance they are, but there’s a non-zero chance that they’re not. It could be that he’s let them close but it still counts because he, at one point, had the piercings. 

Obviously, the theory doesn’t apply in certain instances but 8 times out of 10 there's a chance that it does if you look close enough. 

And yeah! That's the Parallel Theory!

also nonnie that's so pure and cute, we love experimenting in this household. actually, it reminds me of this guy on tiktok who rolls dice and has a numbered list of ingredients that he then takes and makes into a sandwich. it's called roll for sandwich and its so interesting!!! i think you'd enjoy it nonnie!

Thank you for asking Galena and nonnie ily! (platonically ofc)