#I have to make and upload this now because Halloween is on Monday right?

[andaniellight]

Werewolf AU for Halloween but it’s Francis and Matthew because they both fucked up but what else is new. Okay, maybe this one is, aside from Frank not expecting there’s children almost being eaten to nothing, and he ran out of bullets amidst this God damn freakish attack (also, by the way, how the hell is that thing still moving even after I threw grenades at it many times? FUCK.) AND of course Mr. Martyr Complex kept insisting he’s faster and he’s wearing a thick full-body armor so he’s going to distract and hold back that- whatever that huge wolf-mutant thing, so take the kids and get the hell away, Frank! Go! GO!!! 

Because the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen is going to be fine. Melvin’s suit will protect him. Nothing will get through easily-

(He ended up getting mauled half to death, so he’s not fine, like, at all. Alas, but at least he found out that he can eat a whole farm - just the animals, by the way - without having to season and cook them first, and it’s enough to stifle this clawing irrational hunger inside of him whenever full moon arrives.)

His only problem now is probably that the punisher thinks he owes him his life, somehow. Which leads next to Frank tempting, coaxing, even begging at him (can you believe the punisher begging at him?) to eat at least a couple of these criminals he dragged back alive to their safe house, like a cat with a bird in between its teeth, because The Devil’s growing weak each passing time, and Frank believes it’s most likely because of Matt not actually eating like a werewolf (since that’s what he is now. Jfc.)

Anyways....... ID: An Illustration of Frank Castle and Matt Murdock standing close, chest to chest. Frank Castle is beaten up, looking tired, face mostly covered in blood, holding Matt’s wrist because Matt is about to turn into a werewolf and desperately wants to get away from him. Matt says, before he bites his bottom lip until it bleeds, “GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, FRANK!!!” to which Frank responds morosely with, “Listen. That guy is a piece of shit, Red. You gonna die if you keep being like this-” but Matt quickly cuts him off with, “Oh, I’d rather that than eating a living person, Frank.” End of ID.

[prettyoddfever]

IT’S ALMOST HALLOWEEN

I know I have like a bajillion moments that are all my “favorite thing P!ATD ever did,” but Halloween 2008 seriously ranks way up there.

THE SONG & VIDEO:

Rock Sound asked Ryan in fall 2008 what his nightmares were like as a kid and he said “I was walking through a jungle and there was Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Wolf Man walking around too. I don’t remember what happened; I just remember that they were always there.”

A fan who was hoping to meet the band after one of the mid-October shows was told by Zack that the guys wouldn’t be coming out of their bus because they were busy getting drunk and writing a Halloween song haha. I saved a note of that because I didn’t think we’d ever get to hear it... I was just going to add it to a list of things that I hoped would get leaked someday.

Right before the St. Louis show the band posted on their blog: “we’re shooting a video ourselves for a halloween song we wrote, and need supplies/suggestions, drop them off tomorrow and you might see them again before the 31st. it’s almost halloween!!” And then they added the edit: “we will be in St. Louis so bring any halloween stuff to the show, the video will be shot tonight and monday.”

the main rumor was that they were filming a Nearly Witches video.

it sounded like the party scenes were filmed after the St. Louis show. idk if Dashboard Confessional had much to do with this, but guys from The Cab & Plain White T’s were definitely there.

PATD had the 20th off, so that's when they filmed the outdoor stuff near St. Louis. Ryan told Kerrang that the band went camping while they made the video. Zack complained the next day in Minneapolis about his bug bites ha. 

The picture above was posted on the band’s blog on October 24th with the caption “We wrote a song. We made a video. We did it all by ourselves.” Their next post a couple days later had the video.

You can see more of their blog posts here... the “Everybody SCREAM!” post on October 11th could show they had some lyrics done, but it was posted as a caption for a Ghostbusters edit. (The dates I’m listing could all be one day earlier or later btw depending on time zones & what you qualify as the next day... like I think 2am is still the previous day).

It’s Almost Halloween happened towards the end of the Pretty. Odd. cycle, so Ryan was trying to do more of the singing. The song also sounds closer to what The Young Veins did since that’s the stuff Ryan & Jon were writing at the time.

right before Halloween you could download the song from FBR’s webstore. The CD also got on there but I think that was a mistake because it was taken down. 

a friend sent me this recent interview with Spencer that everyone else has probably already seen... there were a couple new bits of info in there that were fun to hear!

A few fans had already started making their own versions of the video before the contest was even announced.

CONTESTS / PROMOS / “THINGS I DID NOT WIN”

Fans could vote on buzznet for which band member had the best costume. 

Northern Downpour started their Halloween video contest a bit earlier than the FOE one (as in before Halloween lol). NDP’s contest was different, but the entries were still entertaining (here’s the winner & second place video).

People created SO many fun videos – here are some that are left. 

Friends Or Enemies waited until like Halloween or the next day to announce their dance off contest... I just remember it felt like funny timing for making a video about how it’s almost Halloween. But here’s the announcement: “Since the band was new to the whole synchronized dancing thing, the Panic dudes want to see if you can do it better. Make a video to ‘It’s Almost Halloween’ with your own moves & upload it to this group now. The band will be judging & the video w/the best dance will receive some of the costumes worn in the ‘It’s Almost Halloween’ video. People wearing costumes will get more points.”

I would have absolutely loved to win Bden’s cape, but I’m also kind of grateful now that the deadline was too soon for a lot of us to get our potentially embarrassing videos planned & submitted.

Here’s the winning video. And then here’s the band’s message to them and the bundle of prizes they won:

THE SHOW(S):

The first time PATD played It’s Almost Halloween live was at the October 29th show. They also played it on October 30th (I liked this video the best but this one’s good too). The band had pumpkins onstage during the shows leading up to Halloween, but they added more decorations + costumes for the actual Halloween show.

this tombstone was the best decoration haha.

the first 1,000 people at the Halloween show got a cd of It’s Almost Halloween (it looked like the one in the black envelope in the picture above).

Brendon threw candy into the crowd from the pumpkin buckets :)

Jon & Spencer abandoned their masks after they played the first song (It’s Almost Halloween). Jon also had this hat at the meet & greet that he wore onstage for a bit (along with a beard for a short time).

Ryan skipped his hood but was stuck trying to play guitar with toilet paper arms. Here’s a comment he later made. 

Brendon loved his cape so much that it made me so happy. Fans talked about seeing him playing frisbee in the parking lot before shows in late October – he’d be wearing his regular clothes but had his cape on. He had to take it off after the second song during the show... and then his glasses disappeared too (but at least his shirt still had fake blood). 

Brendon sometimes changed the lyrics in That Green Gentleman this season, so he did it at this show too. He also messed with the Shout lyrics.

here’s a playlist of some videos from the Halloween show.

anything I post from Halloween 2008 will end up in this tag.

I combined some fan videos from the Halloween show to get a general idea of the night:

[homoo-wan-kenobi]

alright y'all, a little story time cause I need to get this shit out my system. it's gonna be under the cut cause it's a rant. and it's not long, I think, but it is me ranting. and y'all probably won't care, but Imma update it after tomorrow cause we gonna see what happened with the thing that I talked about.

so twitter oomf's birthday is tomorrow, monday, right?? I asked one of our favourite wrestlers to wish her a happy birthday because said wrestler follows me. I asked her to wish one of my other friends a happy birthday back in july and she did it, but she never confirmed that she would, but regardless she did it. anyway, she replied because that wasn't the whole premise of my message to her, I was actually congratulating her on something, but she said she'd wish my friend a happy birthday. and she was like, just remind me on monday because I travel for work that day. I'm like okay, thank you so much! and I add a p.s. to the message cause it was important, but it wasn't about my friend's birthday.

it was about the spelling of my name. now, I'm not one to get all over someone for spelling my name wrong, I laugh it off 90% of the time cause I've gotten some crazy ass spellings that just broke me into cackles.

now, this lady, and I love her so much, but she has spelled my name wrong THREE fucking times. and I never corrected her cause I was like it's probably her autocorrect. also, I'm a scared little bitch and I don't like standing up for myself cause I don't want to upset people. anyway, I say something about the spelling. and I was like "hey! not to sound rude, but my name is spelled jacquelyn not jacqueline! and I know it's probably your autocorrect, but I'd like it if you checked the spelling first before replying if it's not too much trouble for you! thanks!" you see where I said "if it's not too much trouble for you"?? like who the fuck says that about the way YOUR name is being spelled like no it shouldn't fucking be too much trouble cause it's your name you dumb bitch! anyway, she NEVER looked at the reply. and I'm supposed to message her TOMORROW to remind her to wish my friend a happy birthday. and I am just....

y'all, if she replies to me and my name is spelled wrong, Imma snap on her. I love that lady so much, I'm telling y'all, I love her. but it's not gonna fly if I'm telling you how to spell my name, you don't look at it, and then you completely ignore what I told you about the spelling of my name. now, this shit hasn't even happened, but I have such a high feeling that she's gonna spell my name wrong tomorrow. and Imma be pissed if it happens and I might get unfollowed, blocked, blacklisted by this woman. I don't fucking care, MY FUCKING NAME IS SPELLED IN MY DISPLAY NAME WHEN YOU SEE IT IN YOUR FUCKING DM'S, PUT YOUR DAMN GLASSES ON THAT MAKE YOU LOOK HOT AS FUCK AND SPELL IT RIGHT, LADY!!

my fucking god, I don't wanna have to repeat myself to her but I will if I have to, I fucking will. anyway, tomorrow is my friend's day. Imma upload something for her, fic wise, cause she loves the dimitrescu's as much as I do. it'll probably be the halloween one-shot. anyway, for my sanity, Imma update on how the name thing goes tomorrow. and if I'm in bad mood tomorrow then no fic. cause this woman gets me mad 0-1000000 in like 2 nanoseconds. alright, I'm done now. bye.

EDIT: if you made it this far. I'd like to point out that she KNOWS how to spell my name, she's spelled it right before. but lately when she replies, which isn't often cause I don't be sliding in her dm's like that, it's been spelled wrong. and I have some qualms about it, but I let it go cause ✨autocorrect✨ but not friday, I jumped down her throat about it, POLITELY, and she had the audacity to not even read the reply. and now I'm done with the rant. bye. again.

[darkestwolfx]

High Strung - Re-Review #36

I almost forgot it was Monday... Today is my only day off, and I’m still playing a little bit of time zone catch up (haha, by that I totally mean a lot), and so this might be a little short.

I love how we get to see a delivery to Thunderbird Five for once, with a double cheeseburger with extra pickles, of course.

“Pilot of high altitude balloon, you need to pull up! Are you reading me?”

Clearly not... That bear is kinda cute, but also a little tacky for a logo - and why is that the logo of someone thrill chasing? You know I was expecting like a shark or something... something less cuddly, let’s put it that way.

“I don’t like the look of that thing.”

See, I was already with you on that Scott!

Also, blue and white stripes? Who are they trying to make it look like they are?

“I can think of only one person who would spend that much on a big balloon just for fun.”

“Francios Lemaire.”

Oh... him again? He was only last in episode 8! Give our headaches a rest please!

“If we had a frequent rescue program, he’d be gold status by now.”

Hmm... the New Zealand Southern Alps. Never actually been there, yet. Based on this episode, I might avoid it, they look cold and dangerous. Anyone who wants to correct my view, feel free. I do need to go to Australia at some point, so I could just extend the whole trip (you know, whenever the world ends up turning again)... although maybe I’ll do it by boat? Terrible idea considering I get sea sick, but more environmentally friendly. Oh well, I have time to toss that up.

We, the fans, have answered you Virgil. We’ve already done it for you.

“Won’t take long for Thunderbird One to reach him.”

“I’m on my way.”

“FAB.

“FAB.”

“R.A.D.”

“R.A.D?”

“That’s my catchphrase, remember?”

Yes, Brains, sorry, but no one remembers that you said it in Series 1. Sorry.

And here’s a lovely picture of Thunderbird One in flight for you all - because we don’t get all that many which I can clearly copy, so here it is!

“Er, Scott, you do see the big mountain you’re heading right towards, don’t you?”

Yeah, little tricky to miss that.

“I need to land Thunderbird One!”

I think that was probably the most untidy landing we have seen from Scott so far... and I thought Alan had some untidy landings in TOS ‘Atlantic Inferno’.

“Don’t do anything stupid down there, Scott.”

“Define stupid!”

Yep, definitely where Alan gets it from.

Oh look everyone! Halloween has come early! This is Scott pretending to be a bat (or maybe a Sugar Bat as they glide better).

Definitely a stupid move in my books though, sorry Scott.

“Someone needs to give this guy some flying lessons.”

Are you offering there, Scott?

Looky at more Behind the Scenes footage! This one has always intrigued me... Don’t really know why either.

“Hey, you can’t leave that there!”

“What are you going to do? Give me a ticket?”

If only we could all get away with parking that easily, Kayo.

I love how she comes rolling in only to find Lemaire looking like a mummy

“That’s the last time he’ll try rollerblading on the deck of his yacht. In a force ten storm...”

Oh my god, that man is an idiot. Who ever thought that was a good ide- oh, sorry, my mistake, his name’s Francois Lemaire. You know, I think I liked him more in TOS as the overly paranoid (and a little unintelligent) fashion designer.

“What have you got, Scott? Pirates? Balloon rustlers?”

“It’s way worse than that, John. It’s a teenager.”

Oh, you can count on Scott. A teenager? Cause of the end of the world right there! I like to imagine that Scott thinks that the worst option because he’s thinking back to himself as a teenager... I bet he was just as desperate to fly.

“Didn’t you do anything crazy like this when you were my age?”

“What? Me? Uh... maybe.”

“Knew it. Peas in a pod, dude.”

Yeah, I knew my assumption was going to prove correct.

“And then I thought ‘hey Brandon’.“

This is going to get tedious fast, is what I thought...

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

“You could hit a mountain?”

“Oh yeah, other than that.”

“We’re right on the edge here!”

“Yeah, we’re on the edge!”

“No, I mean we’re on the edge of the... Never mind.”

“Hey, Brandon here. This is so cool. Me and Scotty are like exactly the same! Thrill junkies man!”

“Yeah, I think the kid’s right, bro. You’re like two peas in a pod!”

“Yeah well this pea wants out of this pod and off of this mountain.”

The brotherly banter is so worth it, let’s all admit. And this is one of my absolute favourite lines. I think it might be the delivery more than the line itself as well.

“Virgil, wait, wait!”

“Huh? What is it, Brains?”

“RAD, Virgil, RAD!”

“Brains, please tell me you didn’t interrupt my launch to say your catchphrase?”

Honestly, the first time I saw this episode, I thought that was exactly what he was doing.

“What? No! That’s R.A.D. I’m talking about this. (MAX, hurry up!) My new prototype; RAD. Rapid All-terrain Descender. This is the perfect opportunity to test it out.”

“That’s great, Brains, but let’s speed it up shall we?”

Yeah, Scott’s waiting to get off that mountain after all!

“Brains gave me something that might help you get down the mountain.”

And then more cross-talk on RAD and R.A.D. which was actually really well written.

“You up for a little mountain climbing, Brandon?”

“Y...Y...Y...”

“Just nod.”

I bet they’re kinda wishing it had been Lemaire now...

“It’s voice activated. All you need to say is ‘deploy’.”

“Deploy.”

“Oh, and remember to step back quickly before it opens up.”

Yeah, that needed to be warned beforehand I think...

“Oh, oh! Scotty, can you do a commentary for my ‘BeExtreme’ followers? And make it cool!”

“Uh, this is Scott Tracy, International Rescue, piloting the RAD. And it’s uh... pretty RAD actually.”

Yep, I think I have definitely heard RAD enough times for one episode now!

Good to see Virgil retrieved Thunderbird One. Scott will be thankful for that at least.

Although he had to go and do something stupid again, didn’t he? You know, I really think Scott wanted to be a bat based on this episode. Really I do.

“You’re promoted to Chief test pilot!”

“What?”

Scott’s face and the fact he walked off said it all, like he totally knew they’d end up seeing Brandon again. Which is of course correct.

“Scott? Scotty! I don’t think he heard me. I’ll just go talk to him!”

“This is nice. We should invite that kid over.”

“That would drive Scott up the wall.”

“Exactly. Hey Brandon, how would you like to ride with me?”

“In Thunderbird Two? Epic!”

I still would love to read more works based on that! It must have been a nightmare for Scott. Virgil really can be a cruel manipulator when he wants to be - definitely the only one who can rival Gordon.

Right, so I know this scene was like four and half minutes in or something like that, but I left discussing it until the end, because there was plenty to comment on and it interrupted the flow of my rescue commentary.

So, there are 3000 channels,

“And nothing to watch”

We all know that feeling Brains

and Kayo and Brains can’t find Lemaire on a single one (for reasons we now know). In the meantime however, they do scroll over a load of reusable footage! Yay!

So the first thing to make it onto channel #whatevernumberKayo’son is;

A scene from TOS episode ‘City of Fire’ which was reused and recoloured in ‘The Imposters’

The opening setting scene (Japan) from TAG episode ‘Runaway’

Potential alien/deep sea footage that Gordon and Alan have both been seen watching in ‘Deep Search’ and ‘Colony’.

The Mars Ship passing through from the TOS episode ‘Day of Disaster’

Ned Cook - a reporter from TOS; the scene is from ‘Terror in New York City’

The launch of the Sun Probe from the TOS episode ‘Sun Probe’

And possibly most importantly, the last (featured below);

A shot of Colonel Tim Casey and Tin-Tin from TOS episode ‘Edge of Impact’

Then they briefly flash back to footage from ‘City of Fire’ (I could rant about the misogyny of that episode, but like I said, I’m tired, so I’ll save it for another time).

You know what, I’m surprised I was awake enough to notice all of that! Yeah, so I am going to catch up on a little bit more sleep, and then tonight I will upload the promised irrelief work. I planned to do it yesterday, but I ended up sleeping... so uh, sorry? Hopefully tonight I will be able to string sentences without having to constantly re-edit my spelling mistakes! If anyone finds any that I’ve missed, just let me know, but for now.

P.S. I know this is scheduled for 6:45, so by the time you all read this, I will be waking up ready to give you said work of fanfiction, but I actually wrote this at 6 in the morning when my internal clock was still, clearly, very out of whack, so hopefully that explains the state of my notes! See you all in a little bit!

[caitielou-askew]

Happy Halloween everyone!!!

So yeah, this was meant to be my Halloween upload, but then I got a case of stage fright and mental “bleh” so that got delayed. But hey it’s still closer to Halloween than Christmas so I’m going to call that a win!

This is a reading of the wonderful short story written by @eatbreathewrite​ based on the concept of an old woman accidentally summoning a demon, then mistaking it for her goth-phase grandson. It was such a fun little story I was inspired to share it. BUT the video is not monetized because the author never got back to me on approving that.

(Also sorry the audio is a bit hard to listen too, my gain was a bit too high when I recorded and I couldn’t quite salvage it :< )

I have more to say, but putting it under a break thing to keep the post length reasonable lol.

Actually I think I’ll just copypasta what I put in the video description, because it’s basically everything I wanted to say here ^^;

Also sorry for disappearing for months on end...again, lol. It seems like every time I put something out I’m like “This is it! This is the comeback you’ve been waiting for!” And then it’s not. And it feels that way to me too. I guess the best way I can describe it is a mixture of stage fright and fear of the compounding disappointment that comes with having to wait so long.

Even though NONE of you have expressed anything remotely near disappointment. And I thank you for that <3 I’ve been meaning to start live streaming on Mondays since that’s my day off, but I had a case of that stupid stage fright last week. I’ll keep trying though. And keep putting out videos. The next 2 I have lined up are a reading of a fan-made Undertale story, and the first chapter of Their Wings from the Heavenfell series. And The Scientist once I get those two out, since I already have them recorded.

A few things have helped me get back on my feet, here. My new SO has been very supportive and helpful, in the gentle but firm way that apparently I need. The realization that sometimes worrying about your creative project being “perfect” isn’t as important as just getting it “done” has also been enlightening (which is why this video is pretty plain with the white backgrounds, lol). I’ve been watching a ton of Critical Role lately, and seeing such amazing creative energy from professional voice actors is really inspiring. And of course the long history of all of your gentle support as well.

So yeah, still going over here. I’ve been trying to think of a way to stay more regularly in touch that I won’t get avoidant about like I can on my tumblr. Maybe a Discord? Still adjusting to that idea. Or maybe just making sure to post something every day on Tumblr lol. So yeah, that’s where I’m at right now.

OH I guess I could stream editing all those comics I read before? I really like that idea actually. Anyway thank you THANK YOU and enjoy <3

[purplesurveys]

866

What year were you born? 1998.

What holiday is closest to your birthday? I’d say Easter. Last year it even fell on the exact day of my birthday.

What is your name if you spell it without the letters "e" "y" and "t"? Robn.

If you named a band after your birth-month and your pet, what would it be? It would either be April Cooper or April Kimi...I feel like the first one would only remind people of Alice Cooper lmao, and the second one doesn’t have enough oomph I think.

Who is your 9th contact in your phone? Aw it’s Angela heheh.

Have you had your birthday yet this year? Yes. It was during the peak of the lockdown but I’m really glad things fell into place that day. My parents got me a cheesecake (the store only had blueberry, but mom scraped the blueberry stuff off and my sister grated Oreos on top to make it an Oreo cheesecake) and Angela surprised me with a box of all my favorite sushi. :)

How old will you be in 5 years? I will beeeeeee 27. That age has always freaked me out because that’s how old my parents were when they had me, and I am nowhere near that point.

How about in 20 years? 42.

Where was the last place you went? The living room to put Cooper back in his crate for a bit. Playtime exhausted me haha.

Do you have a twin? Nah. My only experiences with twins is that I went to school with several sets of them, but twins don’t run in either family.

What was the last movie you watched? Ah shoot this is gonna be crazy embarrassing but I recently watched that really bad Cat in the Hat film with Mike Myers...I CAN EXPLAIN hahaha there was a Cat in the Hat meme I saw on Twitter and I realized I haven’t seen the movie in like 16 years. I looked it up on YouTube expecting to watch a few scenes but I was surprised to find the entire movie uploaded, so that’s how I killed 1.5 hours the other day lmao.

Are you afraid of shots? Terrified of them. I made a tiny scene when I had to go to the hospital last May and I watched as the nurse prepared the stuff needed for my blood test. I can’t imagine how I’d be if I ever needed a shot as an adult, lol.

What color are the walls of the room you are in? Again, white.

How many letters are in your middle name? Five.

Is your last name longer than 6 letters long? Nope, it’s exactly that many letters long.

If you were in an accident, would you rather lose a hand or an ear? I feel like any answer I pick would be potentially offensive but uh I’d go with ear. I have pretty bad hearing on my right ear as it is so I wouldn’t have to adjust as much as I would have to if I suddenly lost a hand.

Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural color? I’ve never dyed my hair. I gotta say though, college has this way of making you feel left out if you don’t ever ride the waves of trends like these, but thankfully I never felt pressured to dye my hair or get a nose piercing or try drugs or whatever.

If a gorilla and a horse had a baby, what would the new creature be called? Gorse sounds hilarious, I’ll go with that.

Does anyone call you baby? Yes.

Regular Cheetos or hot? I like the jalapeño ones. The flaming hot Cheetos look so unappetizing to me...

How's your heart lately? I think it’s just really bored around the house at this point.

Favorite fruit? Avocado(-flavored stuff).

Are you scared of spiders? I hate that they move so fast it looks like they jump from one spot to another, I’ll say that. But I’m not necessarily scared of them? though I think it’s because we have much smaller spiders here.

Do you have a piercing? I have ear piercings that haven’t been used in 12 years. By some miracle both are still open, though.

If someone doesn't like you, its usually because...? Probably because I bitched them out at one point.

Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? Only if there’s something uncomfortable happening outside is the best way I can describe it. Like if the sun is too bright or if there are too many mosquitoes flying around my face at night.

How long does it take for you to take a shower? 7-15 minutes.

Do you like being around a large group of friends, or two best friends? I have both scenarios and I don’t know if I have any preference, honestly. In both circumstances I’m with friends, and that’s really all I need to have a good time.

Whose birthday is coming up? JM’s was yesterday, though I’m not really sure who among the people I know will have their birthday next. The earliest next birthday I can think of is my girlfriend’s sister’s, but that’s not until next month.

Do you like roller coasters? Hate them.

Do you have a tattoo? Nah. Still gathering up the courage to face the needle.

What is wrong with you right now? I’m at a new chapter in my life and still a little scared to start scribbling on it yet, and the pandemic is just putting some more fuel onto that fear.

What was the last movie you went to? Knives Out.

Do you care what others think about you? Only when it comes to someone whose opinions I value, like my best friends. They don’t just blurt stuff out to me so if they pull me aside and tell me if I’m being a shitty person or generally not being my best, that’s the only time I’ll listen and care.

Do think you'll be married in 10 years? Yes. I’d want to be by then, that’s for sure. Are you afraid of the dark? If it’s meant to be scary, like a Halloween house attraction.

Do you like your life at the moment? I can’t complain, considering how many others are living in more unfortunate circumstances now. It could be better obviously, but I know better than to complain.

Where were you last night? I was at home and had an early night because I was sleepier than usual.

What kind of shirt are you wearing? Black tank top.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? My dad, my grandpas, and Andrew are the only people to come to mind.

What are you afraid of the most? Losing the people that I love. < This, failure, and rejection.

When's the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? Around two Mondays ago.

Do you have a crush on someone? Yup.

When is your birthday? April 21st.

What are you doing tonight? Same old, I guess. I’ll be doing some puppysitting and probably finding something to watch on YouTube, and maybe a survey or two.

Describe life in one word: Wild.

What happened at 10:00 am today? Cooper was napping, so I took one as well to recharge and to be ready for whenever he got up.

[chuuulip]

Favorite Record

Chapter Two

This is posted for Hannah’s @kentuckybarnes 3k Writing Challenge

Shout out to the lovelies @bucky-at-bedtime for beta’ing this and @mychemicalimagines for giving me feedback too hehe.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warning: I guess nothing?

Summary: You never fond of Natasha taste in music but you always giving it a try, but maybe you had enough.

Chapter one

The chilly October day in New York City didn’t bother you as you strolled along the brownstone line street in Manhattan, in fact, you were quite fond of it. Class has been a mess but you were excited to visit the pediatric hospital today. Stark Industries will host their annual charity in the hospital, something that you have adored for years.

The vibration of your phone caught your attention. You sweep the screen to the right when you saw the caller id. “Pumpkin, where are you?” You can hear your dad’s voice in a busy room full of background noise.

“I’m somewhere in Manhattan I guess. What’s wrong?”

“Weren't you supposed to arrive like 30 minutes ago? Your mom’s a bit worried right now. You know how she is after your accident”

“Oh, mom is in town? When did she arrive?” you walk a bit faster now.

“Like 2 hours ago. She said she missed her baby. Can you be here in 20? The guests are already in the hospital.”

“Okay! I’ll hail a cab now.”

The ride to the hospital is pretty fast since the traffic wasn’t so bad. You are greeted by some Halloween decorations when you enter the hospital. However, you can’t help but grin at the scary cute tidbits that adorn the hallway. Helping to decorate the hospital was a fun thing to do. You occupied yourself by selecting lots of balloons and knick-knacks to liven up the hall weeks ago. Your dad, Tony Stark has been working on advancing medical technology in the past couple years and this kind of event is always in his must to do list.

“Pumpkin!” A petite woman with a strawberry blonde hair were rushing to you. “Hi, mother.” She embraces you tightly which you returned eagerly. “My baby! Oh, I missed you so much.” She retreads and pinches your cheeks, a habit she always had since you are a baby. Her pastel blue blazer was a contrast from your mustard sweater and indigo jeans. “Mother stop it!” you laugh at her. Your mom takes pity on you and stops her attack.

“So how’s your wrist? Your dad said it’s getting better. I hope your school didn’t interfere with its full recovery.”

“It’s actually pretty great Mother, but the final recital kind of put me on pins and needle.”

“Just don’t push yourself too hard ok pumpkin?”

“Promise!”  Your mother finally let go and drag you to meet the small crowd at the front.

Since lots of nurses and volunteers were also wearing a costume, you can’t help but to live up to your nickname and join the rest of the people in the hospital. The bright orange bodysuit has that cute black jack-o-lantern face, far away from creepy. The costume also came together with a little cute stem cap that thankfully fit you. To make the appearance more appealing, you let the cap sit a bit to the right side of your head, strands of hair on the side of your face were let loose so the half up double braid still intact.

The small basket in your left hand was full of greeting cards from the Stark Tech staff, that you plan on hand deliver soon. Other baskets on the table near the fake ghost sweets, was created by people from across the country. Last month you get a bit carried away with Stark Tech Instagram post and upload a ‘special greeting cards’ for the kids in the pediatric hospital in New York City. Your aim was an extra smile to the kids with the cards and Halloween theme goody bag. Fortunately, it becomes a huge success to boost the fundraiser and you never been happier.

“Gentleman, thank you for coming today despite the busy schedule.”

“It’s nothing, Mr. Stark. I am happy we can participate in this charity”

You were immediately drawn to that distinctive low baritone voice. A glimpse of a brown hair took neatly in a low bun. The brushed plaid long flannel with port wine color with the sleeves roll up, display that notable bassist hands of Bucky. You arched your eyebrow curiously, how in the world does your father know Bucky Barnes and his band? Did Natasha tell your father about them? With a long sigh, you unlocked your phone and texted her.

“Yes sir, it’s a pleasure to be here. We love to do this kind of show as much as we can.” The blonde tall man known as Steve was talking to your father. “As long as we are in town, our manager definitely will arrange the schedule.”

“Thank you, Captain. I, for sure, will invite your band again.”

”The Instagram post on Stark Tech account was great. I immediately asked the gang to participate not only with greeting cards.” Bucky chuckles “we want to do more.”

“Oh yeah about that post, it’s my daughter actually.” Tony beams at that. “She’s been helping the PR since last year. She is here somewhere.” you immediately ducked behind a nurse when your father, start looking your way.

“Hmm strange, I just saw here near the table.” Tony’s left eyebrow furrowed, thumb and index finger on his chin, try once again looking for you. ”Anyway, the small stages are yours.” Tony clapped his hands on Bucky’s shoulder and retreat to talk with other parents and a kid who was wearing a ninja turtle costume.

The stage was actually a small area in the front of the hall. There sat a guitar and bass acoustic with three microphones and three performance stools. A small amplifier sat next to the left stool and a black cajon box drum situated to the far right

Because not all the kids and parents can join the rest of the kids in the hall, The Howler promised to visit the kids in their rooms and serenade them.

The kids, their parents, volunteers, and nurses apparently ready to watch The Howler. The band just released a new song for a Superhero movie called ‘Live to Rise’. The song became an immediate number one hit on Billboard 200 and i-tunes, a rare circumstance for a rock alternative band in this EDM era.

Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Clint were already sat on their position. The acoustic version of their songs has that unbelievable tone that sat well with the non-boisterous audience they usually have. Despite your hate towards Bucky, you can’t help but appreciate their performance.

A brush to your right shoulder didn’t go unnoticed but the fact that you know who is it made you loosen up.

“Hi… didn't expect to see you here.”

“Hi Scott.” You smile at him. “neither did I.”

“Nice costume, by the way, Cassie needs to buy this one.” His eyes can’t help but admire your costume.

“Dad, who is the pretty pumpkin?” a chirp of girly voice beside Scott made you sneak a peek.

“Oh, this is my daughter Cassie.”

“Hi, Cassie.” Scott introduced you to his daughter and explaining why he doesn’t go on stage with the others. You immediately offer a costume for Cassie and some strolling visiting the kids if she is interested.

“Our soldier was heartbroken when you slammed the door in front of his face.”

You suddenly tensed “Soldier? I am not sure I have any idea what this is all about?” suddenly the hem of your pumpkin costume is more interesting than the other things happen in the hall.

A small laugh escapes from Scott but your attention was distracted by the music of the next song. Bucky blue-grey eyes suddenly met yours, a startling display on his face, although he suddenly recovered and smiled. The need to flee is intense but it doesn't deter you from looking his way.

Bucky left hands dance around the mahogany neck between the frets of his acoustic bass, but his eyes never leave you. Right fingers slapping, alternate with the thumbing and plucking across the strings, generate that clean tone with volume. To the common listener, the melody of his bass might be overshadowed by Clint’s guitar, but not for you.

Sure, you have seen Bucky playing the bass before, live, but now seeing the acoustic bass been played with such precision, those odd sensations pull you back again. The music finally comes to an end and it freaks you out a little bit, unwilling to talk to the man yet.

“Cassie, what about we visit the kids and give them the cards and the goody bags?” a sneaky look at the stage gives you a glance on what Bucky’s doing.

“I can borrow you some Captain Marvel costume or a Unicorn.” Slowly and calculated, you are ready to escape from the hall.

“Daddy, can I go with her?” Cassie jumps a bit, excited to dress as Captain Marvel.

“Yes Jellybean. Don’t go too long, uncle Bucky might want to meet her.”

***

The hectic Monday had never been Bucky’s favorite, but he will do anything to get the forgiveness he is fighting for.

He thought he would finally get to talk to the woman he so stupidly dishonored. When he saw you at the hospital, he can’t help but trying to show off a little bit of his skill – stupid, he knows. After the performance, he even asked Steve for a break because he was determined to find you. Unfortunately, the lucky stars aren’t on Bucky’s side and he was once again left disappointed.

The chilly November in New York was always the same but Bucky absolutely loved the colors before it turns all white and wet because of the snow. The south street on the central park was adorned with a beautiful color. Not only it has the yellow ginko and gray birch leaves, but this part of the street also has red black cherry and pin oak leaves as well as an orange leaves of tupelo trees. Unable to resist capturing the scenery, Bucky starts doing an Instagram live, things he rarely did because he usually just post things like pictures of shows, his bandmate or his instrument. After fifteen minutes of walking through central park, Bucky finally arrives in the west street, his destination.

At first, Bucky had an appointment with Natasha but it’s actually an excuse of his intention to meet you. Eventually, Natasha gave in and giving Bucky information on what class you have today. To be honest there is a slight of agitation on Bucky’s, afraid of to be dismissed and branded as a bit of a stalker by you. But, when he reminds himself of the thing he said to you, he seriously wants to reflect on his wrong and apologize sincerely.

“Excuse me, I am looking for someone.” Bucky meets a man with a blue button-up and khakis pants. He doesn’t look old, probably in his mid or late thirty. Bucky gives him your name and showing the picture from Natasha’s Instagram.

“You are looking for Monet?” he asks Bucky curios.

“Monet?” Bucky confused.

“Yes, Monet. She is in the class, you just need to turn to the left.” The man checking his watch and look at Bucky again. “Class will be over in a minute, you need to hurry if you want to meet her. She has an appointment with Prof. Pierce.”

“Thank you, sir?”

“Rumlow, Brock Rumlow.” Bucky shakes Brock hand and dashed to the classroom quickly. To his disappointment, everyone seems already finished and only several students stay in class. With a defeated sigh, Bucky exits the class and walks through the corridor. For a second he thinks he sees a familiar silhouette at the far end of the hall and when the figure turns around, Bucky’s eyes meet yours. He watched as your eyes widened in shock and you hurriedly ran to an open door that Bucky’s assumed is the professor’s office.

***

“Malyshka, when will you stop being childish?”

“What?” you eyeing Natasha, hurt with her accusation. ”What is this about Nat?”

“Remember Bucky?” you groaned at Natasha when she said that.

“Sestra please, that was months ago.”

“I know, I know.” Natasha walks and sat at the bed beside you. “But don’t you think it will be better if you appreciate his effort to apologize? or better, let him apologize.”

“He never tries to apologize.”

“The thing is you didn’t let him try, don’t you?” Nat arched her eyebrow.

“How did you even know this?” you pout at Natasha.

“Well, he called me yesterday when you pull that latest escape from the class. Not to mention when you slammed the door in front of him.” Natasha added when looking at you, waiting for an excuse.

Along sighed escaped for you when you recalled what happened that Saturday night.

A Saturday night well spent, that’s might be the correct term the night. Especially before the so-called arrogant someone, knock on Natasha brownstone house.

Since Friday afternoon, Natasha has been dragging you out from your cave – your bedroom. The first week of the new semester has been difficult for you. Although the elective class on liberal arts and history wasn’t that hard, coming back after a year break definitely, taking a toll on your performance.

Natasha has been very supportive since you take a break from school last year. She always tried to include you in her so-called socializing activity, because she believed that you are too naïve and need more exposure to the wild ride.

Here you are at the cute brownstone that she shared with her roommate Maria. Maria is an art curator at a museum in New York but now is out of town visiting her boyfriend.

Friday night has been spent hopping from bar to bar with Nat. Saturday morning you spent quite some time in central park. The lake and the bridge is your favorite spot to spend the day for hours. That evening, Natasha initiates to just spend time at her home. Binge watched Netflix and eating pizza.

Your stomach growls loudly and your check the clock, noticing that the pizza is over 10 minutes late.

You heard a knock on the door and check the clock on the wall again. The pizza guy arrived 15 minutes late. Running from the couch, your hand immediately reached out the knob and open the door.

The view behind the door or more correctly, the person, wasn’t someone you had hoped to see. You stare at him wide-eyed. Never in your life, did you envision to meet the douchewagon again. Without further ado, you slammed the door in front of him. You winced when the door frame rattle slightly, it seems you slammed it too hard.

“Where is the pizza?” Natasha curious when you are coming back empty-handed.

“Uhh…no. It’s not the pizza guy. It’s just someone knocking on the wrong door.” You avoid looking her in the eyes, because if you don’t, she will instantly know that you’re lying to her, immediately. Sometimes you think that Natasha will be better as a spy than a ballerina.

“It’s not my fault! When he arrives at your house unannounced, I freaked out.” You explained to Natasha, although it also wasn’t a lie.

“Malyska will you let him apologized next time?”

“Sestra, why is it so important for me to forgive Bucky? I know that Clint is your boyfriend…” you winked at Natasha. “but, this has anything to do with me forgiving him or him apologizing.”

“It is important because you are my best friend and my sister and Bucky is my dumb cousin, but I also love him.”

“Your what?” you gasp in shock surprise. “Why did I never know this? Nat, I thought you don’t have any family in the state.” You can’t believe that Natasha didn’t mention her family. You have been friends for ages, and she knows almost everything about you and your small family of four.

“Well…I just knew this recently when I celebrate my nana 80th birthday two years ago in upper east. Apparently, my aunt moved to the state after she finished her school and married Bucky’s dad who is an American.”

“Ok. You don’t have any obligation to tell me anything. I mean I might believe the rumors that your family is a mafia back in Russia.”  A wide smile spread on your face and Natasha can’t help but giggling back at and throwing a pillow at you.

“Malyska, please give him a chance to explain himself. And he said he will do anything to gain your forgiveness so you might take advantage of that.” Natasha smiles mischievously at you and you can’t help but grin back at her.

***

[asterinjapan]

A whole Latte (window) shopping

Good evening from a rainy Tokyo! And no apologies for that awful pun in the title, haha.

Yeah, so uhm, two new tropical storms have formed… One has already dwindled down to a low pressure system, bringing in a ton of rain tonight into tomorrow over areas that have already had plenty of rani last week. The second is a typhoon right now and will probably tun into a low pressure area as well when it approaches late this week. The already battered parts of Japan really can’t catch a break, yikes.

For me, it’s just a mild inconvenience. Tokyo will get rain, and pretty much all my side trips are falling through as they’re in dangerous areas due to risk of landslides and what not, but I can definitely keep myself otherwise entertained. I can only hope that these storms blow over without too much additional damage.

Anyway! I finally managed to wear myself out today, haha, and that despite just sticking to the city I’m staying in. Climbing mountains is easy, but (window) shopping does me in!

Follow me below for my report of today, consisting of Shibuya revisited, hopping over to Harajuku and Akihabara and ending with dinner with a certain bright yellow mascot. Pictures will be up tomorrow morning!

First things first, I had a train ticket to secure for a trip that will happen no matter what: the ride to the airport on the 28th. The Narita Express doesn’t often go through Ikebukuro, but it does at a convenient time for me for once on the 28th, so I wanted to get a seat on that train, haha. Sure, I have to get up early, but I can throw my luggage into the luggage corner, take a seat, and only get up once I’m at the airport. I’ve nearly always had to transfer after the Yamanote line, which is not a lot of fun when you have heavy bags with you. So! I made my way to the JR East travel office, since the normal ticket office apparently can’t reserve seats on the Narita Express for you, and secured my seat. I also asked about trains further out, and got confirmed what I was already suspecting: dangerous, cancelled lines, etcetera. Well, I’m not gonna risk it. Too bad about my JR pass, but it’s given me my free seat in the Narita Express, and the shorter trips throughout Tokyo secretly add up a lot too if you don’t have a free pass. It has long since paid itself off!

Well, I had gotten a relatively early start today, so I went to Shibuya again at a calm pace. It was only a little after ten, so the crossing was pretty empty compared to yesterday, haha. I first hopped over to the Disney store to secure my ticket for Disneyland. Hey, it’s tradition by now! There was only one person in front of me instead of a long line (going on a Monday morning really helps), so that was quickly arranged. After some shop browsing, I traced my way to my Miyamasu Mitake shrine (I’m getting possessive over it by now, haha). And behold, the shop was open! I could finally hand in my omamori, protective charm, which I’d gotten almost 2 years ago (you’re supposed to hand it back in after a year). I immediately got a new one, of course. Still white, because I think the other ones were more specific, and ‘general luck’ has worked fine so far I’d say!

I had a light and early lunch at a nearby café and then went back to the station to go one stop further on the Yamanote line: Harajuku. I usually go to the fancy Omotesando street or the Meiji shrine, but today, I went into Takeshita street. That’s what you think of when you hear Harajuku, I guess, haha, sinc this street is lined with a ton of fashion stores and all kinds of food. There’s one stall that’s gotten pretty well known for its huge rainbow colored candy floss, which are indeed a sight to behold (but I held off for now, I needed to be hungry for dinner). My main mission here was finding a coat, but I got immensely sidetracked by super cute clothing everywhere. No coats that fit my criteria, but I sure had fun window shopping and I’m seriously considering a couple of outfits. Not the very fancy frilly gorgeous dresses, though. I mean, they are amazingly gorgeous and not as outrageously expensive as you might think (not cheap by all means, but I’ve seen more expensive clothes in my little home town) but still… I don’t think I’d dare to wear them? Also, those would definitely mean I have to buy a second suitcase, haha.

Once I went back and forth through Takeshita street, I went back to the station for my next stop on the Yamanote line: Akihabara station, also known as nerd central I guess, haha. Truth is, in earlier years I didn’t really like Akihabara. As it turns out, it really depends on what shops you visit. I know a couple now that mostly cater towards my interests, but there are also a lot of shops here that cater to a male audience, if you catch my drift. But now, I had a lot of fun window shopping and making a mental list of what’s available. I accidentally bought a couple of figurines last year and that’s definitely a trap, now I keep looking, haha.

It was cooling down, so I fled into the station for my final stop for today: Tokyo station. I was going to head to the café I had my reservation for, but it was like an hour and a half in advance, so I first strolled through the underground Tokyo Station city. There is a street called character street which has a lot of specialized merchandise stores, and I always struggle to find it, but today I just – walked right into it as I was looking for my exit for the café, haha. This time, I ended up buying a couple of clearfiles, and then I slowly made my way to the Yaesu North exit.

A short walk later, I was at my destination: the Pokémon DX store with adjacent Pokémon café! You can only get into the café for a meal if you have reservations. I found out in the nick of time that you only need a credit card if you want to pre-order exclusive goods, so I managed to make a reservation for today a week or so before I hopped onto my plane. I was still too early, so I did a lot of browsing in this Pokémon store. I’ve visited quite some Pokémon stores by now, but this one takes the cake. It’s roomy, big, interactive, and has a ton of products I haven’t seen anywhere else yet. Do you want a Pokémon plushie? You can literally get one for every single Pokémon from the first 2 generations, so like – 251. I was strong and steered clear of plushies today, but I did have a wishlist now, haha. There is also a long wall that shows the development of the games throughout the years, that was so fun and nostalgic to watch!

At long last, I got to enter the café! I was seated at the long table in the center, right next to the statue of Pikachu, and got to order my dishes through the tablet on table, which had multiple language options. Of course, I opted for the limited time Pikachu Halloween plate, and I also got a latte with Pokémon art on it. You can pick from the first 251 Pokémon, but I went with Eevee. I was going to get an Eevee mug separately, because I thought you could only order it with the hot cocoa, but it turns out you can get it with the latte too if you have the Eevee art, haha. So I got a receipt for my order plus mug and settled in to eat. But there was a surprise: Chef Pikachu came out to meet everyone! Japan sure loves its mascot characters, so you bet they have tons of Pikachu suit characters. (Heck, there’s a whole parade of them in Yokohama in summer.) Pikachu made his rounds to shake hands with everyone and seemed rather taken by the small Pikachu I had brought with me and remembered to put on my shoulder in the nick of time, haha.

The plate was actually pretty good! I mean, not haute cuisine, and you can definitely get more extravagant meals for this price elsewhere, but hey, will it be shaped like Pikachu with a witch hat? I think not. Don’t go to character cafés if you want quality food, but do go if you want to take in the atmosphere and enjoy the way the food looks. Japan is all about presentation.

I had a good time here, although I was too full for dessert, so I ordered a float drink instead inspired by the legendary bird Pokémon Articuno. It was a fizzy drink that was a tad too sweet for my taste, but hey, it came with a free coaster! For every drink, you get a coaster. You can pick a random card on a tablet, and that card determines which coaster you get. Since it’s Halloween season, you could also pick the official Halloween 2019 Pikachu coaster, which I had done for the latte. For the random pick, I got Espeon! Nice.

You can spend at most 90 minutes at the café before your time is up, so after my last photos, I made my way to the register to pay for my food, a set of clear files, and of course my new Eevee mug, which they promptly wrapped up nicely for me, so I can’t show a picture of it yet, haha. I then wandered into the store to grab some goods I had gotten my eye on (not all for me! I do souvenirs for others too!), and finally made it out again. Sadly, it had started to drizzle, so I walked to the station fast and made way to Ikebukuro.

So now here I am! Tomorrow is a holiday since it’s the enthronement of the Emperor, but they postponed the procession until November due to typhoon Hagibis (and I bet they don’t regret that decision now, what with the current weather). It doesn’t sound like there’s a lot to see for us mere mortals. Although I suppose this means I’m physically closer to my country’s king and queen than I’ve ever consciously been back home, as they’re attending the ceremony tomorrow, haha. Ah well.

With the weather forecast, I think I’ll go over to Ueno Park to visit the National Museum of Nature and Science, since I’ve been throwing that one longing looks since 2010, but never let myself visit before. And after that, I’ll see – maybe some karaoke? I’ll hold off on more shopping for now as Wednesday will be busy (Disney!), and then I’ll just see what the weather will do and what my safe options are, because I’m not gonna take unnecessary risks.

It’s getting late here, so I’ll upload the pictures tomorrow morning. Good night for now!

[violetsandloveletters]

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? No because my music taste is SO varied.

What’s your favourite season of the year? I’m gonna go with Autumn.

Do you have pop-tarts in your house right now? No, we don’t have those things!

Is anyone’s birthday coming up? D’s on Saturday...

Does someone owe you over twenty dollars? I owe noone nothing.

Do you remember who you liked in grade eight? No haha.

When was the last time you burned any part of your body? My mouth today or yesterday on food, I don’ remember because all my days have blurred into one since being ill.

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? I don’t actually think so.

Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? I doubt it.

Have you ever called somebody dollface? Ew absolutely not.

If I gave you ten dollars, what would you spend it on? I’d say a Mcdonalds but I feel like shit so not that, i’d probably be boring & save it for something.

Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? No.

What are you most excited about right now? I have literally nothing to look forward too... Though I would say my brother gets his GCSE results next week so finding out those.

Does / did either of your parents serve in the military? Nah.

Are you somewhat of a perfectionist? Yeah for sure.

Do you like sour candy? Yeah I love! Especially Haribo Tangfastics.

Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Hawaii.

Do you have Verizon? No?.

What do you do to stay awake when you’re tired? If i’m tired, I sleep.

Are all nighters something you have grown used to? I couldn’t now if I tried haha.

Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? Don’t drive, but yeah when i’m a passenger.

Do you wear your shoes around the house? Hell no, wherever I am, my shoes come off!

Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? Summer!

What clothes are you most comfortable in? A comfy tee/giant hoodie & whatever knickers im wearing.

Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? My best mate Tash.

What has changed most about you in the past year? My home life & my health neither in a good way.

Are you good at painting nails? Yeah.

Smoothies or slushies? Oh I like both.

Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations? Nah, I just switch off.

Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? Yeah definitely .

Elaborate on a way you have volunteered? I have no idea.

Do you use a full length mirror daily? Yeah, I have a huge one that’s in my hallway..

Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them? Yeah I can walk in them perfectly fine, my mum has worn them every day for over 30 years so i’ve learnt from the best ha.

Any TV shows you sit down weekly to watch? Teen Mom OG & Teen Mum UK because i’ve watched OG for the last 10 years & I come from the UK sooo... Tbh it’s mainly Youtube uploads I wait for. Don’t know the last tv show I actually watched on normal telly tbh that wasn’t on Now Tv or Netflix.

Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partner? Yeah, some of my friends I guess?

Even if you don’t like politics, do you still have opinions on the issues? I do.

Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? I haven’t seen a movie at the cinema in years. I want to see Once Upon a Time in Hollywood so someone best come with me.

Will you tell someone if there’s something in their teeth? Yea?

Do you ever actually make your bed? Never, only when i’ve just washed the sheets.

Do you make an effort to eat healthy? Kind of but only because i’ve wanted to loose some weight, I stay within a certain, quite low calorie limit atleast 6/7 days & some days just eat way less cos that’s just how it is.

How are things between the person you like / love / are with? Good, fine, same as ever, even if he is a pain in the ass.

Where did you sleep last night? In my bed.

The last time you kissed someone, what colour of shirt were they wearing? Monday & they weren’t wearing one lol.

What year do / did you graduate? School, 2008, college 2011 & OU not til like 2023.

What kind of booze did you last take shots of? Mate, the thought of alcohol/shots makes me wanna throw up, I have no idea, probably vodka though.

What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall?  I need to go to Lush for a new body scrub.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah.

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Fuck, so hard because i’ve already had better & had my best mate take me with working passes to Fall Out Boy where we spent the concert in the sound bit in the middle of the floor (he’s a sound tech) & had them sing 2 feet away from me with no barriers while I sat with the tour manager & it was just the best experience ever. I have a video with Patrick smiling at me singing Immortals while I was trying not to cry & well yeah.

If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? Money, because I can change what I regret whenever I want too.

Are you taller than your mom? Nah, i’m 5ft & she’s 5ft 2.

Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah, who hasn’t haha.

Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? Night time, it’s how I relax.

Think back to June. Were you in a relationship? Yeah.

What’s so special about what you’re wearing? Nothing, it’s just a big tee & knickers lol.

Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? :).

Could you handle living with a male roommate? I lived with Dan for like 5 years, so in a relationship yeah.

What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? Sleeping.

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? It’s 5 past midnight.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yeah.

What do you miss the most about your past? Having more money, D being well & home.

When is the next time you will kiss someone? Idk.

Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yes lol.

Plan on getting drunk or high tonight? No.

In the past week, have you cried hysterically? Yeah, in pain & just because I cry a lot so multiple times.

Do you think you’ll actually live a happy life with somebody? I hope so, or I won’t bother.

Are you on birth control? No, haven’t been in years.

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No, don’t think so.

Last time you were really happy? This weekend I guess.

Do you tend to fall for players? No.

Have you ever asked a boy for advice? Yeah.

Are you wrapped in a blanket? Yes, so cold.

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? 7 & a half hours then an hour & 38 min nap.

Have you spoken to your mother today? Father? No & no.

[shamelesslyethan]

Facetime // Grayson Dolan One Shot

Summary: You are awoken late at night by none other than your ex-boyfriend Grayson Dolan, and for some reason you two just cannot escape each other.

Warnings: Some swearing

A/N: SOOOO I cried a little while writing this. This was inspired by an edit I saw on Instagram a long time ago and I was unable to find the account who made the edit but they gave me this idea! The premise of this also resembles my next upload, which will be an Ethan fic but there will be differences in setting and backstory and such. Thank you for reading and I hope you like it!

Facetime

It was 2am on a Saturday in late January when my laptop, which I had fallen asleep while watching The Office on, began to chime the Apple marimba ringtone through my luckily mostly empty dorm room considering my roommate leaves on weekends. Once my tired eyes adjusted to the brightness of my screen I saw exactly what I expected, the icon and name of my ex-boyfriend, Grayson Dolan. Grayson and I had mutually broken up the previous August before I was due to go off to school an hour away from our hometown and he was traveling back and forth from Los Angeles with his brother Ethan for their YouTube career. Our three year relationship was already undergoing a heavy toll and we both just assumed it was best to quit while we were ahead. It did not take us long though to fall back into our old tendencies, and in October on Halloween weekend I drunk called him, sobbing about how much I still loved him and how I wish we could turn back. We both knew we couldn’t just go back though. I didn’t know about him but I couldn't manage to give myself away to anyone else. We found it hard to stay away from each other though, and frequently FaceTimed before bed, it was rare though for him to call this late without giving me any notice, but he knew I normally spent my weekends alone. I quickly hit accept and turned on a dim reading light so that he could see me, the bags under my eyes and all.

The screen transitioned to Grayson, laying on his side shirtless, with his comforter covering from his ribs down, and a teddy bear I had gotten him for our one year anniversary tucked under his arm. I knew he was in his childhood home in our hometown by the comforter alone and I laid in the same position as him, oddly enough wearing one of his oversized, old, stretched out T-shirts he had given me. It was clear neither of us had the heart to move on from one another.

“Hey b--Gray, whats up?” I croaked out, shaking the sleep from my voice.

“I didn’t sleep last night, and I’m really tired--” He took a pause causing me to think he was done.

“Then get some sleep Grayson, it’s not healthy to be awake that long.”

“It’s because I needed to hear your voice and see your face. I haven’t in over a week. That’s not normal for us. I kept squeezing this bear and watching all the videos on my phone but I just couldn't keep my eyes closed without seeing you. All I’ve wanted is to hear about your day, and listen to what you have to say, and see your face and be able to feel like you're here with me even when you can’t be”

I remembered that when you squeezed the bears heart there was a recording of me telling Grayson that I loved him, and hearing him that broken and weak shattered my heart into a million pieces, but I had to try my hardest not to let it show; we needed to move on if we were ever going to be okay.

“Gray we haven’t done this in over a week because we can't just keep doing this to ourselves.”

I saw him break a little more with each word I said, that sadness morphing into confusion.

“Why?”

“Because we need to stop pretending like this is a thing people do. We need to move on Grayson, this is killing both of us.”

“Y/n talking to you is the only thing that even makes me feel alive anymore.”

The second those words fell from his mouth it was over for me and tears started to fall to my cheeks.

“Please don't say that Grayson. I can’t take it.” Tears didn’t fall from his eyes, but I could see him holding them back.

“But it's true y/n, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking letting you walk away from me. Shit I agreed with it!”

I used the collar of my shirt to wipe my puffy eyes and there was a long silence between the two of us.

“Me and Ethan moved back.”

“What?”

“We moved home, forreal. Like all our stuff is here. We are living with mom and dad again.”

“Why did you guys come back?” It felt like I had eaten my own heart for dinner, like it sat in the pit of my stomach.

“We were both just so stressed out and unhappy, and we thought maybe if we moved back everything would get better, and it is slowly getting better but everything is just so far from okay and  we didn't really understand why. I didn't tell you sooner because I didn't want you to worry. When you left you took a piece of me with you, and I took a piece of you with me too and I know that. But you have a right to know that no matter where I am I won’t feel at home unless I have you.”

My breathing became even heavier, a panic attack threatening to strike my every breath. Whenever Grayson and I spoke there were tense moments but they were usually pretty clean cut. This was messy and raw, unrehearsed in my head. It was so late at night and the only noise going through my room other than the two of us was my fan, but the sound pierced into my brain as I tried to think of anything I could follow up with.

“Oh.. I'm sorry It's just, everything.. Grayson I feel empty, and I don't know what to do, everytime you call I spring to answer, and everytime we say goodbye I tell myself that has to be the last time, the final goodbye. But the thought of a final goodbye breaks me apart and makes me feel like I need to throw up. It was so stupid of us to think we could just go on after three years with no more repercussions than a few weeks of crying and sadness. I spent every hour of everyday putting all I had into one person, all of my love into one person, and if you weren’t there to reassure me, I would forget how to love myself. Well now I hate myself but I still love you and I don't know what to do with that.”

“Y/n what are we doing?”

“I don't know.”

“I have spent every day since we broke up wondering if we did the right thing. But I know we didn't. I am never going to love someone like I love you. And I just love you so much I thought that as long as you were happy that was enough, but you're clearly not happy so what is even he point in doing this to ourselves? I spray your fucking perfume on my pillow at night for god’s sake.”

My eyes traveled to my bedside table, where a bottle of Grayson’s cologne sat, half empty. Speechless I reached over and grasped the cold bottle in my hand before holding it in view of the camera so he could see. We stared into each other's eyes for a minute as he lost the battle with his eyes, a singular tear dripping onto his pillow. I set the bottle back down, breaking the eye contact we had been holding and took a deep breath.

“I don't know what we’re doing Gray, but I know that I’m right when I say we can't keep doing this to ourselves, it's agony. But I was wrong in thinking that being apart was going to make anything better. I have Monday and Tuesday off this week, and I was just going to stay here, but can I please come home.”

I smiled as I began to sob again spitting out that final sentence. I watched the life return to Grayson’s face as he replied.

“Only if I can pick you up at 10am sharp.”

“Well then we both better get some sleep. It’s late.”

“I don’t want to hang up y/n.”

“Then don't, we can just sleep like this.”

“Will you tell me about your day?”

I wiped my face one last time and began to tell Grayson about everything I had done that day, but by the time I made it to talking about lunch he was asleep and snoring softly. I kept talking to him though, setting my alarm for the next day so I could get up and ready. I placed my laptop on my table so that we were both still in view of each other and sat up, turning my fam that was always on off. The only sound I needed to fall asleep that night or any night was the sound of Grayson’s breathing, and for the first time since August I slept soundly.

[simplicitydefined]

Dear Retrograde FUCK YOU

So retrograde in Scorpio started back on Halloween and it has been a hellish 16 days. I wasn’t thinking about retrograde but I know that night I was exhausted from the week before. We went everywhere and I planned that next year we wouldn’t do much else during that week. All of my projects were rushed and this was the first week I missed classes and assignments. I remember talking to UniQue about how crazy busy my week was and thinking that I would NEVER have big projects due during Halloween week ever again. We went to the corn maze, we went trunk or treating, we had Day of the Dead celebration set up to do. It was a lot of stuff.

That week I also had to turn in the Annual Report. Now, I had most of October, but the first 2 weeks I couldn’t get inspired. I had no idea what I wanted to create that would be this art piece for the 45th annual, annual report. It wasn’t until the 29th that I was like... I got it. I want to create a sketchbook. In my head, the report was going to be like 8 pages. So even though it was due on the 31st, I was sure I’d complete it in time when I started on the 30th. It. Was. 70. Pages. When. I. Completed. It.

I did not sleep. I created. I did not eat. I created. I designed my fingers off and I did, of course, accept the responsibility because I was the one who waited until the last 3 days to start. BUT OMG it was horrible. I thought to myself that this was it, this was the retrograde I had been warned about. I waited and this retrograde was going to make sure I paid for my transgressions. So when I put the file safely in the dropbox in the format she wanted after fighting my laptop tooth and nail. I was certain that the worst of it was over. No such luck was had. I ended up collapsing and going to bed at something like 5, 6 am to wake up at 7:58 to a message from UniQue asking about the file. To then having her find the file, and it opens up garbled. Not quite pixellated, not quite clear it looked like I was just a really bad designer. I was crushed. 

I spent all afternoon learning new ways to share files, uploading them was taking upwards of 20 minutes each time. And every other if not most times the upload would go for 19 minutes and fail at the 20th minute. My laptop was angry, I was angry, UniQue was angry, I broke down. 

I broke down on the phone like a child because I had poured every bit of my soul into that stupid report. And here I was on the phone with UniQue being told about everything I forgot or didn’t understand. I had failed and she seemed like she wasn’t even fond of what it looked like. Even when the pixelation was gone, she never said, that’s beautiful, I love it. It was just this is wrong, this missing, where is this, why is this like this... I was staring at a dumpster fire. I spent the day fixing the file, sent it over and didn’t even hear back until the following Monday. I spent 4 days on the edge of my seat. 

The best part was right before this I asked if I could have the full-time design position. Irony is a shitty thing. I kept working on the other projects and then I get the callback and I come in, and she loved it. Greg loved it. I was borderline suicidal over that weekend and they loved it the whole damn time. Fast forward to True to Yourself, that was the next big project, while we were going over the report and my possible position she asks me if I could send her what I had sketched out on the 12th for a meeting, even though the deadline (which she had reiterated before) is the 15th. I obliged, showed her my inspiration for the poster, she liked it. I created it. I sent it to her on the 12th for the meeting (right at the buzzer) and she hated it.

That’s fine, I actually didn’t care about that project like I did the annual report (and I never will ever care about a project like I did the AR ever again. That was a complete mistake). However, instead of telling me, “Meh, that’s not it, let’s go for the 15th, and you can send it to me then” she said nothing, and then told the people in the meeting she was disappointed in me and that I had all month to do this so she didn’t understand why this is what I gave her. Someone asked how old I was. Look. No one has to like my art or my ideas. But she never ever came to me and said, I didn’t like it April. She never said to the group that we had been working hard on the AR, and this was really due on the 15th. She hit me with the whole bus and walked away. I broke down again. If you’re the scorekeeping type this is 2 break downs, same client. 

At the same time, I was working with another client, who has a barber show in December. All of his files are now none accessible on my drive due to a reformatting that occurred when I set it up on my network. I had to build all of his files from scratch. I had to recreate his logo, this is how bad it was. I finally finish all of that, and then get his flyer to him, and he loves it. This is why you’re the best at what you do, he exclaimed. Well, he then turns around and starts sending a change a day for a week. I had already sent the flyers to print because we were on a time crunch. Something in me didn’t let me send over the reorder invoice. I was actually waiting for him to give me the rest of the information. He sends the last edits on a Friday and on Monday he’s wondering why he doesn’t have the new ones yet. 

How would he get them? There have been no business days in between. I tell him they will be in by Friday due to the changes. He says okay. Then knowing they won’t be in by Friday (because I forgot and didn’t order them that Monday because of the AR, plus it was Veterans day) I messaged him that I would go get them printed locally. ON MY DIME. 

I actually special ordered these Avery perforated event tickets. So I could make sure they were numbered and secure. Then I went to Staples with pneumonia, mind you, I haven’t gotten to my sickness yet. And they said that it wouldn’t work, and sent me to FedEx. So I went to FedEx and printed the stuff for about $70. Plus the 2 Avery things, it was $80 in cost. He paid me $50 to design this stuff. Right now we’re -$30. So I go to his shop, he’s headed out of town. I meet his wife who tells me that they bought tickets already with someone else. 

Did I not message him, and let him know what I was doing? In my [addiction] to be nice and go above and beyond I offered them a refund on the tickets. So now I’m -$105.  I’m still miffed about that, but last night I thought they would have me killed or sued or something so $105 loss is a lot better than my life. I’m also very sick so there’s that. 

On last Sunday we go to take Marcos’ mom out to eat for her birthday. She requests Golden Corral. I don’t know why she did. I hate Golden Corral. It is dirty, noisy, grimy, and the food is terrible. We used to go with his dad back when we first got married and I actually enjoyed it until I really looked at my surroundings. The walls were covered in food. It was disgusting. Also over the years, we are less into buffets. They feel like troughs for pigs, and all of the food is so fatty and cheesy and mismatched. I mean when else do you eat egg fo young and pizza on the same plate? It’s disgusting. But she requested it, so we’ll grin and bear it. 

When we get in line there is a small child behind us coughing like a grown woman. I am clutching my babies to my chest because we just got over an almost month-long congestion party where I didn’t sleep, I just stay up night after night holding trash bags up under them because they were coughing so hard they were throwing up. Just because of congestion. It was intensely crowded. I decided to just push through, this was for his mom. And then we go to check out, and this thing cost us almost $70. Why would anyone pay $70 for 5 people to eat? We don’t even eat that much food to go to a buffet. I eat like one plate and maybe a dessert. Nehemiah eats a saucer worth of food, and Orion eats like 4 tablespoons depending on his mood. We also like geniuses ate about an hour earlier. We are super smart. 

The whole thing sucks but what’s worse is the next day I have caught the plague. The black death, scarlet fever, whatever medieval disease there was I had it. I had it deep inside of me. On Monday it was a cough, on Tuesday it was a burning throat, same on Wednesday, on Thursday my sinuses were so swollen and I knew it was bad. I wasn’t eating, sleeping, anything. I was just trudging through it. I kept Nehemiah out of school because I thought he was getting it on Wednesday, and I was late for his fashion show on Friday because of it. I’m still sick and I feel horrible. I thought I was going to die. To add insult to injury, Friday night take a nebulizer to go to sleep and wake up at 3 am and have my period. I have a very heavy period that makes it so that I cannot do anything. I have to change my menstrual cup every 2 hours. This is a cup that a normal woman can wear up to 12 hours. Most women only lose a tablespoon of blood per day, I lose 1-2 tbs every 2 hours. Yes, I am anemic. Pneumonia had also given me a UTI. My kidneys and bladder are sore. I’m wearing depends because I cannot make it to the bathroom. I just immediately start peeing when I get the sensation. Now I’m also bleeding like a stuck pig. I’m certain my death is soon to follow. 

It’s some northern winter all of a sudden as well, and rains for 4 days. Just rain, wind, cold. And I’m just so tired and sick and beaten down. I cried all night last night about the barber show thing, (before I knew he was an ass and I was feeling guilty) and about my old church. So that’s breakdown number 3. I almost had #4 in the car after I left the barbershop but... I was too angry to be sad. In short, I don’t know if I can make it 4 more days. OH in an effort to fix an issue I had been putting off, I reordered the nametags and they looked great!!!!! And then, of course one name tag was messed up. And of course, it was UniQue’s because, OF COURSE, IT IS. So I have to send them a photo of this being the 3RD TIME THEY HAVE SENT ME NAME BADGES THAT HAVE NOT BEEN QUALITY CHECKED. I want to shake someone!!!!!!!

[avaliveradio]

9.30 New Music Monday Release radar with Jacqueline Jax

When an artist creates music, it’s driven from passion. When done effectively, that energy transfers to the listener creating an emotional response. Listening to new music is an experience. Explore some exciting new music from creators all over the world recently discovered by our host Jacqueline Jax as she searches the far corners of the globe for talented songwriters and music creators who are telling their truth to bring the listener a unique experience.  

SUBSCRIBE to our broadcast here: www.wavve.link/avaliveradio

Listen to the Show: https://anchor.fm/ava-live-radio/episodes/9-30-New-Music-Monday-Release-radar-with-Jacqueline-Jax-e5mkhg

Sponsored by : Headline Music App

"Tired of hearing the same music over and over again on a playlist?  Is your music not being heard because celebrities are taking all of the streaming space?  The day of the Youtube rabbit hole is over. Headline Music streamlines the process of connecting undiscovered artists to users looking for new music.  Artists upload a 30 second clip of their song to Headline Music and using a simple swipe to like feature finding new music has never been easier.  With no preferential treatment, artists are finally on a level playing field.  Download the Headline Music App now on the App store.  Website- www.headlinemusicapp.com

Featured Artist:

D’Z:

Artist: Kerry Kathleen

New Release: “Reverie” 3 track EP

Genre: Indie pop

Located in: Santa Rosa, CA

Reverie is about a dream state, and being able to come alive and be yourself in the nighttime . This song will lift people up and make you feel sexy. This EP has just released (September 27th 2019) and is a milestone for me. I’m so proud to finally be able to release these songs to the world. Reverie, Homegirl, Bright and Right back are all better than I could have imagined. The music..

Music is able to get us out of our funks, lift us up, and remind us that life is beautiful. It has been a constant in my life and it is a creative outlet and it makes me feel so happy and can be healing after a stressful day. My lyrics are always from the heart and I believe that rawness from true vocals is the most powerful part of songwriting. For me, It has to come from my own experiences.

LINKS:  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/54RpjtwYQn71QiYVdQaCjQ?si=59ASuxu5RWmxTkROW5_-cg https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/reverie-album/pl.u-e98lkVlTZ5rPdm Twitter @kerrykathleenn Facebook @https://www.facebook.com/KerryKatheen Instagram @kerrykathleenmusic

Artist: Beautiful Things

New Release: Hey Hey Hey (Electric Mix)

Genre: Alternative Rock

Sounds like: Garbage, Placebo, Curve

Located in: Los Angeles, CA

Creating music has also been a coping mechanism for me when life gets overwhelming. It’s an outlet for all the complex feelings inside my heart.

Our band creates ethereal pop-rock with deeply personal lyrics. We are very influenced by 80s alternative artists like The Cure, Peter Murphy, and Kate Bush. 

I wrote this song about my experiences with the music industry, looking back to a time when I was much younger and more trusting. I let people guide me and represent me who didn’t have my best interests at heart – only their own. I learned so much from these experiences about human nature which ultimately strengthened me and made me a smarter, wiser person. 

I wanted this song to be empowering, hence the lyric “I won’t be a victim, no never again.” I’ve since chosen the people I surround myself within all areas of my life very carefully and have learned to trust my intuition. It’s made all the difference. Our new Dream World (Revisited) EP is made up of re-imagined songs from the first Beautiful Things album released 10 years ago, called just Dream World. I became curious about what could happen creatively if I let fresh ears take some of these songs apart and put them back together again in a new way. We were inspired to re-do this song from its original version because we thought it would sound great with more electronics and heavier guitars. Many of the ideas on this one came from our bass player Billy who spent lots of time in his studio experimenting with new sounds for it.

The music...

We used more electronic elements and atmospheric sounds than before, which our band loves to experiment with, and we hope to incorporate more sounds like these in our future releases.

Creating music is something our band feels compelled to do because music is very fulfilling for us. I personally get inspired just from listening to other musicians, past and present. There's nothing like the feeling you get when your mind is blown by a melody, guitar chord, lyric, performance, etc. That feeling stirs my soul and compels me to keep creating even when it seems like no one is listening or no one cares. As a musician, you always hope that something you create will conjure those magical feelings in others.

What’s next… We are working on a new single and will be making a video to promote it.

LINKS:  https://open.spotify.com/track/0G9QeybSCD1SYCIpr6vrA6 https://twitter.com/officialthings https://www.facebook.com/beautifulthingsmusic https://www.instagram.com/beautifulthingsmusic

Artist: Ugly Melon

New Release:  Rainbow in the Dark

Genre: Hard rock / Metal /Rock /

Sounds like: Black Sabbath / Disturbed / Shinedown

Located in: Toronto Ontario Canada

Ugly Melon comes from an era of classic hard rock from the 70s Black Sabbath to today modern edge of Disturbed. We mix yesterday's writing style with today's modern sound. 'Rainbow in the dark' is a song written by Ronnie James Dio back in 1983 from the Holy Diver album, the Original song was an up yet simple song. 

We put our Ugly Melon twist to it and made the song a more Modern ballad anthem. 

The Song is as relevant today as it was yesterday. The feeling of being alone and rejected but your really a rainbow in the dark. When doing such an epic song like this that was a huge hit for Dio, you've got to make sure you don't butcher the song. 

When I was thinking of the arrangement I was thinking about how I might make it different, Stairway to Heaven came on the radio and that was it. 

The Music we create comes first off doing the music we want to do and not thinking about if it's going to get signed or get airplay. We want to be real and say here it is to enjoy. Our new album 'Just a Man' is a piece of work we are proud of and love hearing it every time.  

Being real with your music is key. People will hear that and climb aboard for the ride to become fans and spread the word. 

Music is medicine for the soul, the escape from reality for a while, the vision of a live epic performance with visuals on a big screen making it a rock concert to remember that's what inspires us.

Right now we are...

Ugly Melon will be releasing a video soon probably on Halloween song called 'If You're Wrong'. A song about questioning and challenging religious beliefs and to be open-minded to others beliefs. 

LINKS:  https://www.reverbnation.com/uglymelon/song/30535606-rainbow-in-the-dark https://open.spotify.com/track/6jkS0MMp6jl45iyjO3xNE5?si=6aXL5FW2QrWHm_ofcGZ7Iw https://twitter.com/Ugly_Melon https://www.facebook.com/uglymelon Instagram @Ugly_Melon

Artist: Dream Eternal Bliss

New Release: Circling

Genre: alternative rock

Sounds like: Berlin, The Cardigans, Garbage, Duran Duran

Located in: Franklin Lakes, NJ

This song is a moody ballad about your life being stuck in a holding pattern. Challenges we face tend to provide great songwriting material when you want to craft truly personal and heartfelt lyrics. If you’ve ever felt like time is passing you by and you’re sort of immobilized by your situation, powerless to take control and make a change, whether it’s a relationship or work or something else, that’s exactly where “Circling" came from. I find that the happiest times in my life are the most challenging times in which to write personal lyrics.

This song encapsulates a variety of musical influences. It starts with a synth-meets-U2 vibe over some electronic percussion that evolves into something dark and somber, and then in the second half, big drums and heavy guitar kick in.

Right now we are...

shooting a video for this song! And we're beginning our next writing phase, continuing to evolve and refine our sound. I think people will be surprised by the evolution of our sound moving forward as we embrace more of our rock and guitar influences in some of the new material. No specific date is set yet for recording new material, but we’ll start to share some of it at live shows in late 2019.

LINKS:

https://www.reverbnation.com/dreameternalbliss/song/30421617-circling https://open.spotify.com/track/1cqQihDUv9ZInj9Qpeh9jh https://www.facebook.com/dreameternalbliss https://www.instagram.com/dreameternalbliss

https://open.spotify.com/track/1cqQihDUv9ZInj9Qpeh9jh?si=lYo_C_owSxKfpwC1p0h3og

Artist: Chanidu

New Release: Make a better world

Genre: folk pop rock

Sounds like: Cat Stevens, Peter Gabriel, Peter Tosh, Drake.

Located in: Edison, New Jersey USA

'Make a better world' is about developing affiliation and affinity towards others who do not have the same privileges as you do. Treating people the right way you will want to be treated. Caring for and making appropriate changes that can provide a good environment for everyone in the world.

The music we are creating is...

I am always magnetized to this love ambition which I think no one can find unless they have it in their heart. It must be real, cannot be exploited or taken advantage of. When the world starts thinking in the same direction of purpose, the world will be close to achieving happiness and then peace.

I do this because...

Songwriting is within you and it is surrounded by influences gathered from those you listened to and admired. Today's love and hate can be expressed with music. Feelings can also be expressed in terms of empathy or observation. Having the ability to do this anytime, any day is awesome.

Right now we are...

I would appreciate it if people can take the time to listen to all the songs on my current album and leave comments. I will be back in the studios in the first week of October to start recording a single.

LINKS:  Facebook.com/chanidumusic

https://www.facebook.com/chanidu005 https://www.instagram.com/chanidu.music

https://www.instagram.com/Chanidu1 https://twitter.com/chanidu005 https://www.reverbnation.com/chanidu Reverbnation.com/Chanidu005  Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2CaxmqQwziSBeaZ9CTwAb5

Artist: Cabela and Schmitt

New Release: Into Your Hands

Genre: Contemporary Christian

Sounds like: : In particular or specifically... I can't think of any

Located in: : Colorado and Nebraska USA

https://open.spotify.com/track/4skCWnF5cvZgEkwpe4MbyM?si=7joZAQ1FRVaRC5l2KQ6a9A

‘Into Your Hands’ speaks to the struggle within and needing that power and love to help you get back on your feet when everything you do turns into a disaster. He takes his loving hands and brings you out of misery and into happiness. Who wouldn't love to have that kind of person in your life. 

The music we are creating is important because every song we are given to relate is a gift to be shared. A musician never knows where the music comes from, it just comes and it's their obligation to pass it on. 

We do this because it is inside us, it's a part of who we are, it's as much us as any other part of our being. When inspirations come to you in the form of music at any time in any situation, at any given time... it is a gift worth sharing with others.

Right now we are...

We're excited about our new album DANCING SHOES that will officially be released on the 1st of October.

LINKS:  http://www.cabelaandschmitt.com https://open.spotify.com/track/4skCWnF5cvZgEkwpe4MbyM?si=eyYw5yigSQK47AJmxU8-jA @CabelaSchmitt https://www.facebook.com/cabelaschmittmusic https://www.instagram.com/cabelaandschmitt

Artist: TODD BARROW

New Release: Hell and Back

Genre: Country, Traditional Country

Sounds like: Hank Williams, Johnny Paycheck, Charley Pride, George Jones

Located in: Burleson Texas, USA

This song is...

a real country song about real-life situations. The way the musicians play on the track is spectacular. They pour their hearts into this tune because the message is serious with a twist of humor. The song is about when a man cheats on a woman then later regrets it. Don't go down that path, my friends!!!

The music we are creating is...

the direction of traditional country and back to the roots of artists like Patsy Cline, Johnny Cash even some blues like BB King. Trying to pave the way for the old country in a new format! More challenging works of art that have longevity in the music industry.

I do this because...

 #1 I was called to do it. I've tried to give it up several times but it seems to hunt me down. I enjoy writing a song with a theme in mind kind of like putting together a movie but in 3 minutes maybe more. Creating something that is not there is fascinating to me. Taking an idea from the brain with notes and casting out there for the public to enjoy!!! Most of all its fun. Performing the songs before an audience is intoxicating!

The future... 

I'm currently working on a new album/EP for 2020. Very excited to get some fresh country music available for my fans. Currently doing gigs in Texas but recently played at the George Jones in Nashville. Trying to branch out in my touring even possibly UK & Italy.

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[carriejonesbooks]

So Monday I posted about my own bullying experiences and mentioned DEAR BULLY, an anthology that I co-edited. That book happened because Megan Kelley Hall and I felt so powerless after hearing the stories of two girls. One was Phoebe Prince. Phoebe killed herself after being bullied over and over again. The other girl was a kindergarten student, Jasmin Lovin, who survived her bullying, but was having a horrible time with nightmares and fear.

Dear Bully

But the book was about more than just those two girls. Bullying is bigger than that and any identity factor or trait (real or perceived) can be used as a reason to deride and torment others.

I felt so powerless to help these kids all over our country. So as an author, I did the only thing I could think of doing; I asked for stories from other authors, so kids who had the opportunity to read the book could realize that they weren’t alone.

They weren’t. They aren’t.

As I told the International Literacy Worldwide Association during an interview, “It (a person’s bullying story) was about kids who were bullied about their sexual orientation, their size, their parents; kids were bullied about anything.”

The hope was that if we all shared how we had been bullied, kids could find hope in our survival, hope in the fact that some super cool authors like Z Brewer or Alyson Noel or R. L. Stine had survived and that they could too.

I was absolutely blown away by everyone’s support and everyone’s stories. And it made me incredibly sad that so many of you have bullying stories and that so many of you are still affected by bullying or are being affected right now.

I keep saying it breaks my heart but honestly my heart is shattering over and over again every time I hear a new story.

But I’m also really happy and proud of everyone for sharing and wanting to help and wanting to make change. You are awesome.

And now I’m going to tell some bullying stories from one person’s life. It’s not about me. It’s about my daughter, Em of Awesome, and she’s given me permission, I swear. Em would never categorize herself as either a bullied kid or a hero. I think that’s important somehow.

  Little hiker buddy

A love of sweaters runs deep in this family

BULLYING STORY 1

So, when Em was four she went to a Waldorf nursery school. I took her there so she could know how to hang with other kids and also because I love the whole Waldorf philosophy which is, “the human being is fundamentally a spiritual being and that all human beings deserve respect as the embodiment of their spiritual nature.”

So, Em had gone there for about a month when I came to pick her up. Her little cotton dress was all ripped and her face was splotched because she’d been crying. The teachers were all consoling and talking to another little girl, Hannah.

Em launched herself into my arms and I said, “What happened, baby?” because that is what mommies ask.

And she said, “Hannah threw me down and told me she was a lion and was going to eat me up and she ripped my dress and wouldn’t let me up.”

And I hugged her and asked her what the teachers did and she said, “They are talking to Hannah.”

And I said, “Did they talk to you?”

And she said, “No.”

So, I went and talked to the teachers (who are all lovely by the way) and I asked them what happened and they said the same thing as Em. And then they told me that Hannah had been jealous of Em who was somehow really good at sewing and reading (and basically everything – such is the curse of being Em) so Hannah was acting out her rage.

And I asked if Hannah was told that it wasn’t cool to rip another girl’s dress, threaten to kill her, and tackle her. And they told me that they hadn’t because Hannah was merely expressing herself. This was the escalation of her being angry and jealous for awhile.

And then I asked if anyone had comforted Em.

And they said, “No. We were focusing on Hannah.”

This is when I took Em out of the school forever because I honestly thought the spiritual growth and support of the bullied, beaten-up kid was just as important as the spiritual growth and worth of the kid who bullied.

And also because I often have no chill.

Em of Awesome

Life Lesson here:

If you feel your kid is in a situation that isn’t healthy for them and you have the means to take them out of that situation? Take them out.

Random note: This same girl who lion attacked Em laughed at me for telling  over a decade later for telling her I needed more information before signing a petition about an issue in our town.

The Emster in snow

Bullying Story #2

Em has been bullied again, but never to a horrible extreme, and she’s lucky. And she’s also turned into one of those kids/young adults who stands up for other people who are being bullied.

One time a boy in third grade was tormenting a girl in the lunch line because of her eye shape. The girl was Aleutian. Em (who has always had wicked verbal skills) went up one side of him and down the other and announced to everyone, “M- has the most beautiful eyes ever.”

M said, “You think so?”

Em said, “Um… yeah. You are so pretty, especially your eyes.”

And the girl told Em that the boy had been bullying her about her looks for forever. Em was the first one who heard and said something.

Life Lesson Here:

Standing up for others in the moment when they can’t manage it themselves, is okay. Another lesson, if you love someone. If you think the are beautiful, let them know.

Graduation

Bullying Story #3

Another time Em battled an Ed Tech who told one of her friends during PE that she threw the ball “like she was r-word.”

(Sorry. I hate that word. I couldn’t write it.)

Yes, the Ed Tech said the actual word.

Yes, the Ed Tech worked with what the school district labels as ‘special needs’ kids.

Yes, the Ed Tech saw nothing wrong with what she said.

Yes, Em’s friend cried and cried about it. She had issues with reading back then. The Ed Tech knew that. She bullied her right into a sobbing mess on the gym floor.

Life Lesson Here:

Bullies can be grown-ups. We’ve all learned that, right? We just call them trolls when they are on social media.

Dog kissing helps

Bullying Story #4

We were at a big conference in LA full of children’s book writers and the key note speaker was hanging out talking by the pool. Em waited her turn and told him how much she loved his books. She was pretty small so he looked kind of shocked that she had read them. Anyways, he was super nice and they were talking when three women who wanted to be children’s writers came over and shoved her out of the way to talk to him.

Seriously, they just pushed her.

Keynote Author Man got this shocked/stunned looked and asked if Em was okay.

The ladies? Didn’t even blink.

Em wasn’t a person to them, and I think a lot of the time that’s what happens. Bullies forget that they are bullying people with feelings and coolness and quirks and emotions. Or maybe they don’t forget? Maybe they just don’t care.

Life Lesson Here:

Rudeness can happen in places where you least expect it. Adults ignoring, berating, tormenting, discounting kids? That’s something that makes an impact. Yes, those ladies were just rude once, so it’s not technically ‘bullying,’ but having the gatekeepers, the movers, the shakers, the people in positions of power and authority ignore you over and over again? That makes an impact.

She is embarrassed about this shirt. I am embarrassed about my hat.

Em was a quiet kid, but she was fierce, and she was so lucky that she has had the opportunity to be so  fierce and strong and what kills me is that so many of us don’t. So many of us don’t have the tools to keep dealing with bullies over and over again. So many of us don’t know that other people have had to deal with it, too. So many of us don’t realize that we aren’t alone, that we aren’t the only one with our dress ripped, or called names, or physically attacked or pushed aside by women who want to write stories for us, but more than that, they want to talk to the semi-famous man.

Dogs make you stronger

That’s why we all have to do whatever small thing we can. That might be standing up like Em; it might be joining a Facebook page; it might be telling our stories; it might just be giving someone a hug. It might be changing ourselves so that when someone calls us out on bad behavior we don’t get defensive and stubborn but we actually listen and care about their feelings more than our own just for a moment at least.

I know. I know… It seems so little. But it’s something.

Em as Black Widow for Halloween

WHAT I’VE TRIED TO DO

So, I can’t save anyone, really. All I can do is listen, give out smelly stickers, and share my own stories. Sometimes those stories are super fun and inspiring, like the NEED series or TIME STOPPERS or THE SPY WHO PLAYED BASEBALL. 

Sometimes those stories? They are full of pain.

I’ve recently contributed to the anthology THINGS WE HAVEN’T SAID and Megan Kelley Hall and I co-edited another anthology, DEAR BULLY, which was an effort of writers, readers, bloggers and people to raise awareness about bullying. The money we raise from Dear Bully’s royalties continues each year to support programs meant to raise awareness about bulling and support those who have suffered. I am so grateful for that opportunity.

But it doesn’t feel like enough, you know? Nothing ever feels like enough.

DO GOOD WEDNESDAY

Do Good Wednesday!

If you’re a survivor of bullying, please know that you aren’t alone. Check out this website for some resources. And if you are a person who bullies? Try to get some help too. Your life can be so much better than it is now.  Let’s change our culture into something better.

  Writing News

The Class at the Writing Barn

The awesome 6-month-long Writing Barn class that they’ve let me be in charge of!? It’s happening again in July. Write! Submit! Support! is a pretty awesome class. It’s a bit like a mini MFA but way more supportive and way less money.

Praise for Carrie Jones and Write. Submit. Support:

“Carrie has the fantastic gift as a mentor to give you honest feedback on what needs work in your manuscript without making you question your ability as a writer. She goes through the strengths and weaknesses of your submissions with thought, care and encouragement.”

“Carrie’s feedback is specific, insightful and extremely helpful. She is truly invested in helping each of us move forward to make our manuscripts the best they can be.”

“Carrie just happens to be one of those rare cases of extreme talent and excellent coaching.”

People are saying super nice things about me, which is so kind of them because helping people on their writing journeys and their craft and supporting them? That’s pretty boss, honestly.

The podcast of awesome

The Podcast

The podcast DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE has a new episode about life tips, dog tips and writing advice that just came out yesterday.

    Flying and Enhanced – the Young Adult Science Fiction Series

Cross Buffy with Men in Black and you get… you get a friends-powered action adventure based in the real world, but with a science fiction twist. More about it is here. But these are fun, fast books that are about identity, being a hero, and saying to heck with being defined by other people’s expectations.

This quick, lighthearted romp is a perfect choice for readers who like their romance served with a side of alien butt-kicking action – School Library Journal

Sparty knows all about that. More info about FLYING is here and the rest of my books? Right here.

  Wednesday Bullying Post So Monday I posted about my own bullying experiences and mentioned DEAR BULLY, an anthology that I co-edited.