#I have two midterms tomorrow and can’t be bothered with cleaning this up again

[hargrove-mayfields]

Day four of the Horror on Cherry Lane Challenge! Today’s prompt was Sunglasses!

Steve has a lot of secrets. Too many probably.

Most teenagers’ secrets are things like sleeping with the wrong people, smoking the cheap shit the jocks pass out, broken curfews and failing grades. He’s got all of those too, but Steve's secret runs much deeper than that.

His is the kind of secret that’d have men in black suits coming to take him away, or at this point, more than a decade after letting him go in the first place, putting a bullet in the back of his skull and calling it a day before any trouble comes up.

He’s been stuck in Hawkins all his life. Been fed the knowledge about the world off a silver spoon he didn’t ask for. His first five years of life are well forgotten to shock therapy and to the lab, where they intended to use him and the rest of the kids like him as weapons. Pawns in their big game of life.

But Steve was different. He could turn his powers off, make them undetectable by the machines they hooked him up to. They thought he was just a failure, so after so long, they wiped his brain with their very own cocktail of drugs and just let him go. Adopted him out to a middle aged dink couple who wouldn’t run their mouths about where their little bundle of joy came from as long as their pockets were lined with enough hush money, and that was that.

It didn’t take long for them to realize though, that he wasn’t as normal as they had been convinced he was. Not even knowing he was doing anything wrong, little Stevie would have outbursts, or small tantrums as momma always tried to convince everyone who told her Steve was too much for her to handle.

These weren’t just normal crying fits though. Anyone who got near him would be just as sad or scared or frustrated as he was. A single sob from that boy had enough power to crack the foundations of the family home.

Most kids when they have a cranky morning will get on the nerves of their parents, but Steve could disrupt the whole neighborhood without even realizing it. And that was his power.

They didn’t have a name for it, really. The range of what he can do is too broad, too undefined by anything else. There was a telekinetic girl, a pyrokinetic he’s pretty sure is dead now. But Steve was just special. Part of what made it so easy to go under their radar was this, but it also made him a risk.

The only reason he wasn’t immediately reported and given back to the bad men was the power this frail boy carried. It scared Ruthie and John, and they decided that they’d rather face the men at that lab again than a seven year old who could accidentally destroy them with his emotions.

So they kept him, and certainly kept their distance. They forced him into a little mold of how to behave properly and made him take pills to weaken his powers. They send him to behavioral therapy and make him act like he’s not a failed government experiment. A fact which he only learned a couple of years ago after his pills worked a little too well at messing with his memory that he forgot to take them, and memories came flooding back.

For the same reasons, Steve’s bored of being careful. Bored of following all the rules and being passive, just pretending he’s like everyone else so mommy and daddy dearest are safe. He starts getting a little riskier, testing what he can do, since this is the first time he’s ever really had control over his ability. He finds a link with other people and their emotions, something of an empathy power, but he doesn’t get far in his research, because his plan very quickly goes to shit when Billy Hargrove rolls into town.

Where to begin with Billy. That boy makes him feel all sorts of things he never even considered. The very first day he showed his unimpressed (but very impressive) face at Hawkins high, Steve cracks his windshield. Oops.

He was able to tap into that control and tone it down, but that reserve dwindled the more he’s around Billy, and from there it just spirals. Bending the basketball hoop on accident, exploding light fixtures, giving everyone in the school headaches. It gets to the point where Steve has to come to terms with the fact that he had a crush on Billy, and that he has to do something to get it back under his control before somebody gets hurt.

That and he doesn’t want to get caught now. He just got back into the swing of using his powers before Billy interrupted his calm. Going back there, or whatever else might happen, is the last thing he wants for himself.

He settles for a pair of ray bans.

It’s stupid, but when Steve was still young and all but popping his mommas brains every single time he cried, she was desperate to find a way to get him to stop. She started to notice he’d concentrate hard on one thing and another would happen, staring at a lamp until it shattered, looking into her face until her ears started to ring and pop. So she does what she can to break that subconscious focus. Puts a barrier between him and all that he’s hurting. A plastic, race car themed barrier, but it does its job, and it worked every time until they got him on meds. So now that he’s old enough not to just tear the damn things right off his face, he figures it’s worth a shot.

Because nothing had made him this emotional, this out of control since the day he found out the truth about his past. Billy is special, and the very last thing he wants is to lose control and hurt him.

He still feels like a dope walking into the school with a pair of shades on. Everyone starts to stare in that way he tries not to let remind him of the lab and the doctors standing in circles around him, prodding and waiting for a reaction. Steve thinks wearing sunglass inside is the least weird thing to happen in the halls of a highschool if Tina can come in with a perm high enough to touch the ceiling, but whatever. He’ll get over it.

The fact that nothing’s exploded from how on edge he is, mostly from wondering if his momma’s trick will work and not because of their judgement, is a very good sign.

Boldly, he decides to put it to the ultimate test, and approaches Billy.

In his head, he’s so focused on just going to talk to Billy, he has nothing planned to say to him, but he thinks he would’ve forgotten anyways, what with the lazy smile Billy flashes him when he notices him approaching.

Steve’s gaze quickly darts past Billy to check for damage to anything, the racing in his chest from just a look like that typically enough to at least crack a window. Maybe he’s not as confident about this as he thought, or maybe Billy’s just really good at making him flustered.

Doesn’t matter, because he’s at the other boys locker before he has time to process what he’s doing, “Lookin’ for somethin’ Harrington?”

“Oh, yeah, I was just checking for uh, my fans. Yeah, they follow me around everywhere, you know?” It’s bullshit, and it sounds more than dumb coming out of Steve’s mouth, but it makes Billy laugh, real low and raspy and that’s a win in his book.

“That what the little disguise is for?” Billy hums and taps his temple, clearly referring to the sun glasses perched on Steve’s nose.

“Oh these? No, I uh, wear these ‘cause of the uh.. because I wanna sleep in class and down want the teachers to know?” His answer comes as more of a question than anything, so he’s grateful when Billy seems to be more interested in his excuse than the subject at hand.

“Pfft, yeah right. I’ve heard you sleepin’ on the basketball bus. Ain’t no way your snoring doesn’t get you caught before your eyes do.”

Steve just waves him off, laughs with Billy even if his heart isn’t in it.

Billy closes his locker door, switching the subject as the scenery switches. It’s all a distraction to Steve, but he forces himself to look Billy in the face as the other boy asks him, “Seriously though dude, you okay? It ain’t like you to switch up your look. You’re not hiding anythin’ under the shades are you?”

“Nah. Just been thinking, I’m not the King because I’m not cool anymore, right? So I’m tryin’ to look a little more.. interesting.” Steve’s not a very quick or good liar, despite the military guarded secret that is himself and the little black number seven carved into his arm, and he can tell Billy doesn’t buy it.

He’s a good sport though, throwing an arm around Steve’s shoulders and assuring him with a little jostle, “Aw, Stevie, you're cool in my book. At least as long as you quit comin’ up with reasons not to hang with me, yeah?”

“Yeah, I- alright. I can do that. Sorry for flaking so much though. Didn’t realize until you said something.”

“S’Cool. Just meet me at the quarry after dark and it’ll make up for it.” Billy offers, obviously trying to play up the coolness neither of them apparently actually have, and Steve can’t help but call him on it. “It gets dark at like, four-thirty, five o’clock anymore?”

“Fine. Meet me at nine, pretty boy.” Billy smirks, dropping his voice to add knowingly, “And lose the shades. I think you’re much more interesting without ‘em.”

[krxideprnz-archive]

More sub Toji plz, him being a huge brat at first then just reducing him to a crying begging mess 😈 (fondling his muscles too cuz this man is jacked whew 😅)

I hope this is good 👉👈 I’m in the middle of midterms so I don’t have much time right now,

But I’m gonna be finished tomorrow!

So expect more productivity from my lazy ass

I hope you enjoy this 💕

Sub! Toji x Dom! Fem! Reader

This includes content not suited for minors

Includes- orgasm denial/toys/degrading/overstimulation/oral (giving and receiving)

Your hands traced the muscles on your husbands back while he was trying to sleep, occasionally moving your hands further up, caressing his neck and leaving a few kisses there.

Toji groaned half asleep.

“What are you doing? I want to sleep”

His annoyed tone made you roll your eyes and continue with your movements, resting your head on your hand.

“I haven’t been with you in a while, I missed you”

He didn’t answer, he only readjusted on his pillow, closing his eyes again.

Fucking brat.

He was always like this when he came home since a few months, coming home only to brush your words of concern off when he had new wounds on his body, ignoring your attempts to help him.

And you were tired of it.

This also ruined your sex life, he was either to tired or not in the mood, so he always rolled around and told you to go away.

But you were having none of it, not anymore.

So you decided to spice things up a little.

“I also missed your cries when I ride on your big cock- oh so that got a reaction out of you!” You clapped your hands together when you saw his body twitch and his head turning around, glaring daggers in your direction.

“The fuck did you say?” He was getting pissed. He knew the effect you had on him but it made his blood boil every time you mentioned it.

“Aww, did u hurt your pride?” Your hands found his abs, tracing and touching them, feeling his hard muscles flex when he moved.

You crawled on top of him, a grin spread on your features.

“You’re a bitch” he grabbed your head to kiss you, but you were quick to press your hand in front of his mouth.

You glared down at him with a mad glint in your eyes.

“Seems like someone needs a reminder who’s the boss here, don’t you, Toji?”

“More like you need that reminder-“ your hands grabbing his throat made him shut up.

“Shut up” you spat, moving your face closer to his, enjoying the way you felt his dick twitch against your inner thigh.

After releasing him, you sat back, pressing your heel against his crotch.

He hissed and clenched his teeth.

You continued grinding your foot against his growing bulge, pressing on it until he let out a groan.

“You like that? Do you enjoy when I’m rough with you? Tell me Toji” you licked your lips when you saw him bite his lip.

He was quick to stare back at you with a grin.

“Keep telling that to yourself”

Your foot left his bulge, and you bent forward, touching his erection painfully careful.

His hips moved up to meet your hand and add some mich needed friction against his bulge, but your hand pushed him down roughly.

“I thought you didn’t like it”

“I don’t-“

“Then why are you pushing against me like this?Look how hard you got just from a few simple touches”

He didn’t answer, he only glared at you but decided to keep his mouth shut for once.

“Cat got your tongue?”

With a laugh, you stood up and went over to the closet, grabbing a few items from the inside, making sure to bend over so he had a nice view of your ass wiggling in the air.

When you walked back, you placed the items on the bedside table, and when he looked over to see what you got, you quickly turned his head back around.

“You don’t get to look” and with that, you grabbed the blindfold and secured it around his head, covering his eyes.

“Take that off, I at least wanna see you bouncing on my cock” he spoke confidently, still not ready to admit that you had the upper hand in your sex life.

“Stop behaving like such a brat, especially after you ignored me for months” you replied, taking of his loose sweatpants, his erection springing up and hitting his abdomen.

You toyed with the tip, seeing him bite the insides of his mouth to conceal his noises.

Your hand started rubbing and touching the muscles on his strong legs, feeling each curve and movement of them with your fingers.

Opening your mouth, you licked from the underside of his cock upwards until you pressed a kiss to the tip, his precum coating your lips.

You heard the pleasured little moans leaving his lips that he tried so hard to contain, with his hand over his mouth.

Your mouth left his sensitive tip.

“You’re such a-“

“Seems like I need to keep that mouth of your occupied” and with that, you quickly undressed your lower half, moving upwards to hover your core over his mouth.

“Pleasure me, show me what that mouth of yours is useful for”

He started licking up and down your slit, kissing and sucking on your hot flesh while his hands steadied your body on his face.

You moaned at his skilled tongue entering your womanhood, thrusting in and out of you eagerly.

He devoured you like he was starving for years, his continued kissing and sucking making you press further onto his face, tongue rolling out of your mouth at the vibrations of the laugh that escaped his mouth.

Soon, after he used one of his fingers to rub up and down your clit, you released on his face, your juices coating his face and the blindfold he was wearing.

You looked down at his twitching length, precum flowing from the tip, slowly sliding down the side.

Moving further down on his body, you watched his tongue lick over his lips, tasting you in his mouth.

“Can’t get enough of me can you? I wonder what your colleagues would say if they saw you like this?”

You saw him visibly shudder at your words.

Taking his leaking cock in your hand, you started pumping up and down, relishing in the sounds he made.

His moans were deep and loud, spilling from his lips without shame.

You added your mouth, your hands instead fondling his balls, his hips moving up, pressing his cock even further inside of your mouth.

Your tongue moved in circles around him, head moving up and down, lewd noises of his moans and the squelching sounds of your sucking and kissing made him go crazy.

He wished he could see you right now.

You carefully dragged your teeth along the side, a hiss escaping his throat.

“Hngh! (Y/N)!” His hands found your hair and grabbed it, head thrown back and mouth hung open, moans leaving his throat, each one seemingly louder than the last.

He looked so stunning like this, sweat glistening on his skin and cheeks flushed, you never saw something this beautiful.

You felt his cum inside of your mouth when he released with a yell of your name.

You kept moving even after he already came, sucking him even more aggressive.

He thrashed against the sheets, not able to say a single thing as pleasure clouded his senses.

“Ah! Ah! (Y- hngh!” Tojis legs wrapped around your body, twitching and shaking around you.

You released him with a pop, smirking at the drool dripping down his swollen lips.

“You should see yourself, lying on the bed with that fucked out expression~ so pathetic”

He let out a strained whimper at the loss of the feeling of your lips around him.

You grabbed the two last items from your nightstand, a vibrator and handcuffs.

You secured the vibrator around his leaking length and Toji threw his head back in bliss.

After you chained his hands to the bed over his head, you watched him with a proud smile.

Giving him a kiss, you whispered into his ear.

“Since you wanted to sleep so badly, I’m not gonna bother you anymore”

You got up and gave him one last wave, his confused expression making you smirk.

“Good Night sweetheart~” and with that, you left the room.

After you cleaned yourself, you plopped down on the couch, scrolling through your phone and listening to your boyfriends pained whines and moans of your name.

You eventually fell asleep for a short while.

When you woke up, you could still hear his pained yells and moans from your bedroom, so you decided to walk back to your husband.

You opened the door and were immediately greeted by the image of Toji cumming again, his release shooting out of the tip, a wet spot were he was lying was visible.

His cheeks were wet with tears and he was crying out in pleasure and relief when you came in.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)! So- I’m so- hah! Ahn!!”

You shushed him and cupped his cheek in your hand.

“How many times did you cum already? You look so good like this...I wonder if you could handle some more”

He immediately shook his head no, another loud moan echoing in the room when you touched his abused cock to remove the vibrator.

“Thank you!” Relieved, he relaxed on the bed, he was close to passing out at this point.

You were so lucky you could see the great Toji Fushiguro like this, completely loosing his pride because of you.

[thiswasinevitableid]

Study Buddies (Sternclay)

I got several requests for this prompt as a meet ugly for Sternclay: you caught me doing something a few weeks ago but didn’t report me and now you’re trying to blackmail me into secretly tutoring you even though you and your friends have always been assholes, no I don’t ‘owe’ you.” Fill is SFW

“I saw that.”

Stern freezes, hand still on the now-shut back door, “saw me putting out the garbage?”

“Nope” his coworker Barclay rumbles, “saw you taking the leftover pastries and giving them to the homeless guys who hang out in that plaza.”

“A few of them were from that batch you baked three hours ago, they were barely old, going to waste was ridiculous.”

“Yeah, but you know Haye’s rule about that.”

“Yes, and I think it’s ridiculous too.” He crosses his arms, staring up at Barclay and daring him to tell him it isn’t.

“I agree. But you still got caught.”

“By you, not by him, now move so I can start wiping down the tables.”

“What, uh, makes you think I’ll keep my mouth shut?”

Stern turns, startled, “are you trying to fucking blackmail me?”

“No, uh, I mean-” Barclay’s gaze darts to the front of the coffee shop, where his friends make several encouraging motions.

“Of course” he groans, “Christ, Barclay, I didn’t think you’d stoop this low.”

“Look” the larger man takes a step, bringing him into Stern’s space, “I have a massive midterm paper due in a few weeks, and I need help. Big time.”

From this distance Stern can smell laundry detergent and burnt sugar, see a pleading tint in those deep brown eyes. He wants to punch him in his aggravating, handsome face.

“You owe me, Stern.”

“Like hell I do.”

“I’ve covered your ass more times than I can count when you’ve run late because of your internship.”

“And I’ve covered your ass all those times you were late because you were giving your friends rides.” He jabs his finger into Barclay’s chest and his hand is instantly enclosed in one of Barclay’s own

“I don’t want to tell Hayes anything, Stern, but I really, really don’t want to fail this fucking class.”

“Fine. I’ll help with your essay.”

“Not just mine, my friends need help too.”

“Oh no, no chance, deals’ off.” Stern pulls his hand away, “I can tolerate you, but they” he points to the group still sitting at the table, “have been nothing but awful and rude to me”

“They’re not-”

“They are too that bad, at least to me.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. It wouldn’t be those guys, it’d be some friends of mine from the LGBT center on campus.”

“Fine. But if one of those ones shows their face, I leave. Shake on it.”

Barclay talks his hand again, shakes it, and tells him to be at the LGBT center at 7 p.m tomorrow. 

--------------------------

Stern arrives at five til, finds Barclay sitting on a beanbag chair near a low table with four other people. One, a blonde girl in a green dress, pops up and walks over to him. 

“Hi, can I help you?”

“I’m here for him.” He points to Barclay.

“Oh! You’re the essay guy.”

“Yep, that’s me.” He smiles as politely as he can muster and joins her at the table. 

“Glad you came.” Barclay smiles at him.

“I didn’t have a choice.” He glares and the smile disappears.

“Everyone, this is Stern-”

“Joseph. Most people call me Joseph.”

“-and he’s gonna help with the midterm essay for our comp class.”

“Sweet!” The other girl at the table, black hair streaked with red, raises her hands triumphantly. 

“Do all five of you need help?” Stern looks around.

“Nope, just me, Duck” she points to a stocky guy in a Yosemite’ shirt, “and Barclay. Indrid and this cutie aren’t in that class.” She kisses the blonde’s cheek. That makes Indrid the guy with messily dyed silver hair and sketchbook, who’s currently laying with his head in Duck’s lap.

“Alright, that’s not too bad. Does someone have the assignment?”

Duck pulls it up on his laptop so Stern can read it. 

“Okay, so, it’s time to start outlining how you want to approach your topic.”

“Uhhhh.” Barclay looks at this friends, who shake their heads.

“None of you have a topic yet.”

“Nope.”

“When is this due?”

“Three weeks from yesterday.”

“And it’s worth how much?”

“45% of our final grade.”

Stern allows himself a few moments of vicarious stress, then gets to work. By the time the center closes, they all have topics selected, and Stern has instructions to come back on Monday.

He does just that, comes back Wednesday too. By Friday, he’s learned that he and Duck actually share a chem lecture and that Aubrey has many classes in the same building he does, as she always waves to him when they cross paths. On Friday night, he arrives to help them flesh out their outlines. 

“Colors?” Aubrey says as she braids pieces of twine while studying her notes for her midterm. 

“What?”

“Your pride colors; I’m making bracelets for everyone because it helps me focus.”

“Oh, um, trans pride ones. Please.”

“Good, already got those out.” She slides a pink, blue, and white bracelet across the table to Duck.

Barclay arrives with cookies, and they settle into their usual working rhythm, Stern bouncing between the three to see what they have and offering editorial advice. He’s sitting shoulder to shoulder with Barclay, enjoying the contact more than he cares to admit. 

“This is a little clunky here, I think I see your point but it’s getting lost.”

Barclay taps the table, then deletes and re-writes the section. 

“That’s way better.”

“What can I say, got a good teacher.” Barclay smiles at him, subdued yet charming, and Stern’s heart flips several times before he whacks it into submission. 

A week later, he turns up at the center to find the room rearranged and a larger group present. There’s a screen hung up on the far wall and Dani is tinkering with a laptop and projector. 

“I think I missed a memo.” He says to Duck as the other man is pouring two cups of soda. 

“Yeah, we decided to have a movie night and watch Dracula’s Daughter because Aubrey insists it’s a gay classic.”

“It’s quite good. I’ll, um, I’ll just head out then.”

“Y’know you can stay right? You ain’t just essay help, you’re our friend.” Duck gives him a look stuck between reassurance and concern.

“I guess I can, since I have tonight blocked off.” He goes in search of a seat and finds the only free spot is, of course, directly next to Barclay. 

Dani dims the lights and the move starts. There’s a rustle near his lap.

“Popcorn?” Barclay whispers. 

“Sure, thanks.”

As the movie plays on, their hands keep going for popcorn at the same instant and bumping each other. A few weeks ago this would have annoyed him to no end. Now he just wants to hold his hand. Barclay is different around these friends; gentler, funnier, his generosity given plentiful outlets. He’s been different at work too, less inclined to needle Stern and more interested in talking with him as they clean than in enabling his friends to stay late and make a mess. Stern’s noticed said friends do their fair share of shit-talking Barclay, the larger man seemingly so used to it he doesn’t react. But more and more Stern sees the flashes of exhaustion and hurt on his face. 

“You're not their servant, Barclay.”

“I know, I’m just being helpful.”

“That was half your cut of the tips they scammed off you.”

“It’s fine, Stern.”

“But”

“It’s fine.”

The group opts to watch Frankenstein meets the Wolfman next, and Barclay adjusts so his hand is flat on the ground on the other side of Stern. Stern leans to the side, resting against him, and lets himself pretend he could feel this safe and wanted all the time. 

----------------------------------

“Stern, wait up!” Barclay catches up to him as he walks home. It’s Wednesday night, meaning everyone’s essays are finally finished. When Aubrey asked if Stern was going to keep hanging out with them, he said he’d have to see about his schedule, and ignored the fact she knew he was lying. 

“What was that line about your schedule? You could still make time to hang out with us.”

“I’ll come back when you all need help on your finals.”

“....do you seriously think that’s all we care about? All I care about? Stern, they really like you, and it seemed like you were getting along with everyone.”

“I was, and I do like them. But I can’t keep being around you.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Barclay steps in front of him, barring his path. 

“It means that I like you too, but am well aware of how you really feel about me. You act kind, you talk to me like I actually matter, like we’re actually friends, but deep down I know you still think I’m uptight and nerdy and deserve to be mocked for it.”

“I don’t, I swear” Barclay puts his hands on Stern’s shoulders, voice earnest, “I like you a lot, I’m so fucking glad we started hanging out more, I, I really care about you.”

“Care about me? How the fuck am I supposed to believe that when you still won’t even call me by my name!” He hisses, not wanting to wake the nearby apartments. 

“I...I was just using it like a nickname. I didn’t know it bothered you. I’m, uh, I’m sorry.” He looks genuinely chagrined and the fire in Stern’s chest flickers out. He stares at the ground, not knowing what else to do.

“Joseph?”

He looks up in time to see Barclay bend forward, bringing their lips millimeters apart.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Do you” he exhales so intensely a nearby moth gets blown off course, “do you really want to?”

“Haven’t been able to think about anything else all night, babe. All week too.”

Stern closes the distance, Barclay’s hands gripping his arms when he does. The kiss is the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted and he lifts his hands up to Barclays cheeks, stroking them in a plea for more. 

Barclay obliges, slides his hands onto his back and pushes him forward, sighing soft and shaky when the kiss deepens. When it ends Stern stays put, rests his head on Barclay’s shoulder as he hugs him, shuddering with want.

“I gotcha babe, don’t worry.” Barclay pets his fingers through Sterns hair.

“Not worried your friends will see us?”

“Fuck ‘em. They were guys I knew in high school who knew how to manipulate me and I can do better. Like you, for starters. Plus Dani thinks their dicks too.”

“Knew there was a reason I liked her.”

“Now, if those friends saw us, we’d know because we’d hear Aubrey yelling ‘called it’ from a mile away.”

“Not that I’m opposed to sidewalk hugging, but it’s getting kind of cold.”

“C’mon” Barclay kisses his forehead, “let’s get you home.”

“Feel like joining me for some ‘coffee?’” Stern makes air quotes as Barclay takes his hand.

“Hell yeah I do. Can think of a lot of places I’d like to put cream.” 

“Not just yet, big guy, though I appreciate the enthusiasm.” Stern pauses his walking to kiss him, “tonight I think you and I have a make-out date on my couch.”

Another kiss, full of promise and the barest hint of heat, “sounds good to me, Joseph.”

[yoon-kooks]

Song Request

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Fluff, FuckBoy!AU, Roommate!AU, RadioHost!Yoongi

Summary: Your roommate seems to have a lot of one-night stands, but you're starting to think that isn’t the case...

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: heres a short and sweet valentine’s drabble~! it’s inspired by Lee Sora’s Song Request that yoongi’s featured in 💖 

The only good thing about Valentine’s Day is that it’s a peaceful evening at work. While everyone else is out having a fancy dinner with their significant other, you’re left to watch over an empty coffee shop until closing.

With only the occasional customer coming and going, you opt to keep busy by studying for your upcoming midterms—not because you’re a diligent student, but because you want to take your mind off the fact that, rather than a lover, it’s a 46-page biology study-guide keeping you company on this rainy Valentine’s Day. Because the last thing you’d want is to be reminded of your nonexistent love life.

“Happy Single’s Awareness Day, Little One.” As soon as you hear that smooth honeyed voice enter the coffee shop, your body knows to avoid the counter.

“Thank you, Yoongi, for reminding me of my nonexistent love life,” you say to your bully of a roommate with your back turned to him. His chuckle can be heard as you feel his eyes watching you make his usual cup of coffee. Americano, to-go. Securing a cap onto the rim of his coffee cup, you spin around and finally face the boy. “But I guess at least I’m not the only one who’s single this year.”

Yoongi tilts his head like a puppy before taking the Americano into his hands. “What are you talking about? I’m on my way to see a girl-”

“One-night stands don’t count, by the way.” You eye his tasteful fashion decisions and shake your head. “But good job on cleaning up well for a girl you’ll never see again.”

“What makes you say it’ll be a one-night stand?” he challenges you as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Because it’s always a one-night stand with you. And for some reason, you’re so proud of it that you feel the need to share the news with me every time you go out at night.”

“Well I don’t want you worrying about my whereabouts at ass o’clock, you know. Just trying to be a considerate roommate,” he shrugs.

“How considerate of you. It means a lot to me when I’m made aware that my roommate is off fucking someone new each night.” You can only laugh at the situation as you close up the shop and head to Yoongi’s car.

“Well if it bothers you so much, I won’t do it anymore,” he speaks in pout as if it’ll give him his way.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do, Yoongi. All I’m saying is that you seem to sleep around a lot and that kinda makes you a fuck boy,” you say with a teasing giggle.

After a thoughtful pause, Yoongi nods along to your comment and hops into the driver’s seat. As he starts up the engine, you play the role of DJ to find a suitable radio station for two hopeless singles. But after flipping through twenty different stations and hearing the same old love song each time, you admit defeat and slump back in your seat.

“Don’t you think DJs ought to be at least a tiny bit sensitive to the folks out there who don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day? Maybe I don’t want to hear another love song.” A yawn escapes your mouth.

“Then what kind of song would you suggest they play?” Yoongi turns down the radio, smirking at your cynicism.

“Something to help me focus on studying for my bio midterm? I don’t fucking know.”

“Oh, like that song DNA by those… uh… Bangtan Boys, I think?” Yoongi laughs at his own joke like he’s so funny.

“Either that or something to keep me awake.” You close your eyes and the rest of the car ride becomes silent. To be honest, it’s not that you despise Valentine’s Day. You’re simply just frustrated with a certain boy you may or may not have developed feelings for.

“Anyway, I’ll see you when I get back?” Yoongi pulls over into an empty spot in front of your apartment.

You nod as you get out of the car and wave bye, sending him off to his other obligations.

As soon as you get inside, you cozy up to your 46-page biology study-guide under a blanket. The sound of rain against your window goes from calm pitter-patters to a raging storm, but it’s the first boom of thunder that makes you uneasy.

Normally if your roommate were around, he’d sit there and tease you about being a scaredy-cat. And despite all the teasing, his presence and calming voice would be enough to put you at ease. Because although he’s a bit of a fuck boy, you can’t help but find comfort in Yoongi. And maybe that’s why you’re so bothered every time he informs you of his nighttime shenanigans.

In an attempt to overshadow the thunder and remedy the loneliness, you decide to give the radio a second chance at redemption. With a flick of a switch, you’re tuned in to whatever station Yoongi had listened to last: Honey FM.

The first surprise is that it’s not another love song playing. It’s a talkshow of some sort.

The second surprise is the smooth honeyed voice of the host. So you decide to listen on.

“Okay, next caller…”

“Umm, hi Suga! I was wondering if you have any advice on getting a boy’s attention without being too obvious?? I’m a little hesitant because I don’t know what he thinks about me.”

“Hmm… Without being too obvious? Well, I think to some degree, you should be patient at first and pay close attention to how he responds to you. Does he smile and joke around a lot around you? Does he seem comfortable around you? I think if you both are comfortable enough around each other, you can confidently make a bold move without worrying about it being too obvious. If not, work on establishing a stable friendship first before rushing into a relationship that you’re still iffy about.” You aren’t sure if it’s good advice or if you’re just entranced by his mellow voice, but you find yourself nodding along to everything this Suga guy is saying.

“Ah! You’re right, maybe a friendship first is best!”

“Good luck and thanks for tuning in to Suga Sweet Suggestions~”

“Thank you Suga!”

“Okay, I think we have time for… two more callers? Next caller, please say hello and state your question or concern.”

“Hello! Happy Valentine’s Day! I just wanted to know if Suga has any Valentine’s plans tonight with someone special?”

“A question about me?” he laughs. “I’m spending my night right here with you, aren’t I?”

The caller responds with giggles and a squeal. “I love you, Min Suga~”

“I’m flattered… Good night and thanks for tuning in~” The host hums along to the song playing in the background as he waits for the final caller of the night. “And last but not least, here’s our final caller.”

“Hi, I have this roommate who goes off sleeping with someone new each night, but the problem is,,, I’m kind of in love with him… so yeah.”

There’s a long pause on the radio’s end. “Sounds like a f**k boy to me, haha… But tell me, what do you even like about this person?”

“He’s comforting to be around, and he has a soothing voice like yours. Plus, I don’t think he’s as big of a fuck boy as he makes himself out to be.”

“Oh? Interesting… But, um, please don’t say f**k on the radio without it being censored or I’ll be fined…”

“Oh fuck, my bad…”

“…”

“…”

“At any rate, because you’re the last caller of the night, you get one song request as I sign off. So please pick your favorite song.”

“How about DNA by those Bangtan Boys?”

“…Right… Thanks for calling in, and good night. Tune in again tomorrow for another hour of Suga Sweet Suggestions~”

After the requested song ends, you turn off the radio, write something down on a sticky note, toss your 46-page study-guide aside, and fall asleep on the couch to the sound of soft rain drops.

-

“Y/N, wake up.” The honeyed voice has returned.

“Why did you wake me up?” you whine into a pillow and throw another one at Yoongi.

“Because there was a sticky note on your forehead that said to wake you up when I got home??” The boy leans in close and rips the yellow note off your face.

“Oh yeah lol,” you swipe the sticky note out of his hand and start folding it. “So how was your one-night stand?”

“It was good. We had an enlightening conversation.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re a radio DJ?” You finally address the elephant in the room.

“Because I thought fuck boy sounded a lot better than someone who gives love advice,” he shrugs. “By the way, you’re in love with me?”

“Nah, I just thought it would be funny to say that on the radio.”

“Of course you did.”

“But I did mean what I said about your soothing voice. It’s comforting… especially on this rainy Valentine’s Day,” you drop a folded origami heart into the palm of his hand. “Being a radio host suits you, and you should never feel ashamed of that.”

“I appreciate the advice, Little One,” he pats your head with a smile, “And thanks for tuning in.”

[0418-r-blog]

Parallels

genre: angst, romance, university! au, mentions of sex characters: reader and Jiwon (Bobby), Ikon, others word count: 1855 summary: Jiwon doesn’t get attached and Y/n knew that.

Part 1 I only say the truth

Jiwon was a fuckboy. And you knew that.

It's been almost two years since Y/n moved to the apartment. When she arrived, Hanbin, Yuji and Jiwon already lived there and she took the place of another friend of them that went on a exchange program. At the beginning she was afraid she would feel outcasted but they welcomed her warmly and with time, all four became very close.

Hanbin was gentle and focused but was always trying to put up a bad boy facet that (almost) everyone believed in. Yuji was was sloppy, lazy and unpretentious in the most adorable way possible. Everything she did seemed to be a path to disaster but her charisma would always win. And Jiwon was transparent as a glass. He was sweet but at the same time, ruthless. He seemed quiet at first glance but his ability to relate to others was immense. He loved his friends, that was clear. But in addition, he was extremely devious and confident, traits that some hated and others loved. In the case of girls, it was the latest.  

Jiwon was a fuckboy. Y/n knew it and every girl at the campus also knew it but for some illogical reason beyond her comprehension, they would still get involved with him. He wasn't a complete jerk that prevented people from liking him or being his friend. He'd always let his intentions clear and be brutally honest about everything, never getting attached to anyone while attaching himself to everyone. He was the type of guy that Y/n would usually find to be a jerk but maybe for knowing him in completely different circumstances, she was found of him.

-

"Good morning" a voice came from her back. When she looked, it was a complete stranger with a sweet smile, "good morning" she responded, having absolutely no idea who she was but pretty much knowing she's with Jiwon.  A minute later, Jiwon comes out and gives his good mornings while displaying a shy smile to Y/n, that gave one in return.

"I'll be leaving now. Call me?" she smiled to him, gesturing a phone.

"Sure" Jiwon responded while opening the door.

"Is that coffee I see?" he asked.

"Yes, do you want some?" Y/n offered.

"Thank you" he flashed his bunny teeth and Y/n giggled while shaking her head for his cynicism about the situation. After that She quickly left to uni and promised that she'd go watch him play at night.

Each one of them had their own routine. Y/n went to her classes in the morning and in the afternoon she worked at the archiving department from University. Hanbin had a part-time job in the morning, classes in his afternoons and took the nights to compose or go to musical events in the city. Jiwon studied in the mornings and worked in a record store until late nights, playing twice a week at the campus radio as a DJ. And finally, Yuji, that was already graduated, worked in a office all day and took her nights and weekends to sleep, see her boyfriend and go clubbing.

This semester was incredibly dull to Y/n. The classes weren't exciting and everybody was super busy, barely being able to meet. Surprisingly her dull job at the University's library was quite exciting as unlikely as that might seem.

Drowning in books and documents all afternoon was strangely therapeutic to her. All her daily stress was unleashed in the solitude of the enormous file-room, the little laptop, scanner, and headphones that accompanied her since the beginning of the year.

After leaving work, she headed to the store that Jiwon worked. There was Hanbin, Yuji, and other of his close friends. Friday's on "Radio 3" had become one of the hottest spots in the city. The parties were practically infested with college students for it's proximity to the campus and the youthful but vintage vibe of the place.

Y/n was probably the shyest of the four and despite loving the company of her friends and getting a little tipsy at the end of the week, staying 6 hours grinding at a club was not her first choice. But Jiwon played at least once a month and she tried to show up some times.

Jiwon was very good at it and while his own productions were going a little slower because of work and school, he paid his bills by playing the music of others and his and Hanbin productions. Besides being best soul friends, Hanbin and Jiwon shared their love for music, and both, in their own way, ran after their dreams.  

Arriving there, Yuji welcomed her with a tipsy smile, handling a beer in her hand,

"Hey love" she exclaimed

"Hey" Y/n responded

"Tired?"

"Pretty much" she chuckled putting the beer away and grabbing a bottle of water at the bar.

"Just stay for a while and then go home."

"Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Let me say hello to Jiwon" she said and turned around.

"Ok, go there hottie"

"Haha ok" Y/n responded laughing to her drunk friend.

"You're specially hot these days" her friend responded with a silly smile.

"Yuji, control yourself, your boyfriend is right there" she pointed to her boyfriend while he waved backed, laughing.

"I can't!" her friend gestured putting her hands on her heart.

She pulled away from her friend and headed for the cabin to give Jiwon a shy wave, which he returned with a smile.

"You came!"

"I always do"

"Only when forced"

"True" she giggled. "But hey, at least I come every other month, stop being demanding"

"Ok, you're right, it's a honor already"

"Are you thirsty, DJ?" both laughed of how corny that sounded.

"Yes, please." He said while grabbing the water of her hand.

Y/n intentions of staying only a little became a little different as the night go on and she felt like dancing and staying a bit more.

1 am. "Damn I need to go home" Y/n said out loud.

"Already?" Hanbin asked while dancing with Yuji.

"Yeah, I'm super tired. I'm gonna say goodbye to Jiwon. Bye, loves"

They waved back.

"Jiwon, I'm leaving now, see you tomorrow!"

"Hey wait, I'm leaving too. The other DJ will take over"

"Do you want me to wait you?"

"Yes, It'll only take a few minutes."

Y/n stood outside for 5 minutes when Jiwon came out and they started to walk towards the bus stop.

"Sorry, I was exhausted."

"It's fine, I'm dead" he laughed with his visible tiredness. "These last weeks have been brutal with the midterms and work but I can't stop playing here, it's the only way I have to share my music"

"You're not paid for playing?"

"No. The owner pays me for my work at the radio, as a cashier, to clean the floor, anyways...but playing is the bonus I have, a opportunity. So even when I'm dead, I play."

"That's good because your set is amazing"

"You don't have to please me, Y/n" he gave a small smile.

"No, I mean it. You're great, both your remixes as your own productions. Don't stop believing" she said while she signed the bus to stop. He gave a coy, thankful smile and both entered the bus and sat at the second to last row of benches.

"And you, what have you been doing?"

"Oh no, my life is not as exciting as yours"

"How's that, what your life has that is not interesting?"

"Everything!" she laughed. "I only study and go to work at the library in the afternoons"

"You don't like it there?"

"To be honest, I love there haha. But it's far from being a crowded club or dreams of being a artist or anything slightly exciting"

"I think everyone has a dream, a path. And if...uhm...-"

"Archiving"

"Archiving is what you like then archiving is exciting because you are exciting"

"Stop it, now who needs to try to please me is you. Not even the famous and coveted Dj Bobby saying that archiving is cool is gonna make archiving cool"

"Maybe?"

"No"

Both giggled loudly.

He cleared his throat and asked "but what do you mean with coveted?"

"That was the word you decided to remember?"

"Yes, explain yourself"

"What do you mean explain myself?  You're the sensation among a lot of the girls at the campus and you know that very well"

He gave a cocky smirk.

"I just think it's unfair for you to be talking about me when you barely comment about your love life"

"What love life?" she giggled while Jiwon stared at her in confusion.

"That's right, while I admit my indiscretion you are so private I almost don't see any of your love conquests"

"Conquests? Jiwon, my love life is as agitated as hers" she stated while pointing at a old lady that was sitting in the first few seats of the bus that looked like she was at least 90 years-old.

"You don't know, maybe she's living the best life. It's 1 am after all"

"Oh my god, you're right, I'm even worse" both laughed uncontrollably earning some bothered looks in the bus.

"But really" he resumed "I find it very hard to believe in that"

"Why?"

"Well, how can I say this"

"What?"

"That's our bus top"

She got confused until she realized their bus stop has indeed arrived. Both walked in silence for two minutes towards their home until she got curious.

"What were saying?"

"Nothing"

"Tell me!"

"It's nothing"

"C'moooon"

"I was gonna say that I find it hard to believe that you don't have a love life when you're that hot"

"Jiwon!" she exclaimed while laughing.

"What? You wanted to know" he backed while also laughing.

"Stop messing with me"

"What do you messing with you, girl?"

"I'm not hot"

"You're very hot, gorgeous, A++ so stop being shy about it or I'll keep going" he warned.

She laughed, embarrassed, while both entered the empty apartment.

"That's what you say to all girls?" she mocked him.

"I'm not that lazy and girls don't fall for that, Y/n"

"Sorry" she said, embarrassed by her own statement.

"I usually invite them to see me play, then I take them to the bus stop, we chat and then I compliment them" he spoke while having the most vicious look in his eyes.

Y/n never saw him looking like that to her before.

"Jerk" she murmured while soft smiling. Her hands were getting strangely cold and her heart started to pound. She then rested her body against the kitchen counter and looked again at his eyes. It was pure lust. Her stomach was on fire, she wasn't even trying to understand what was going on.

"Are those compliments usually true?"

He smirked, slowly walking in her direction "I only say the truth"

She slightly bite her lips and softly murmured "I doubt it"

"Don't doubt me" he said while getting too close. Both bodies connected and in a snap of fingers, they began to kiss uncontrollably. It didn't take long until those desperate kisses on the kitchen migrated to his bedroom.

-

Thank you for reading!

[tenaciousarcadeexpert]

Criminal Minds-The Good Ol’ Days

@marvelfanlife, @itsmeedee, @stunudo, @veroinnumera​, @derekmorgansoffice, @dontshootmespence, @cynbx, @jaqren, @literallyprentissstwin, @gabriellewritermua, @blitzz11, @beenthroughalot, @princesswagger14​

Chapter 5-Can’t Hardly Wait

Special thanks for @princesswagger14 for helping me on this chapter

    As usual, there wasn’t as much exciting things that goes on for the students at Quantico University, not even in Professor Rossi’s criminology class. It was nothing but work and work, paper and paper, test and test. Still, it has been weeks since the trip and the teens were eager for Rossi to possibly tell them that he’s taking them on another trip. They could care less about getting involved but more so in  getting out of class and doing work. Still, each time at the end of class, when any of them asked, Rossi said the same thing….

“It’s not the right time, you need to be patient.”

Rossi watched as he saw Derek and Elle groan at his response. They just had completed their midterms and were hoping for something that could de-stress them in any way, but nothing. It seems like all they could do was find something to relax after midterms.

��  Tara was walking through the halls in the dormitory when she stops at Emily’s dorm to see her resting on her bed. Curious, she walked over and knocked on the door.

“You could come in, you know.” She groaned as Tara walked inside and closed the door.” “Hey.” “Hey.” She tilted her head. “What are you doing?” “Just figured that I might as well take a nap, as a way to not think about classes. They are all draining, especially one.”

“Yea i get you there. How about this, we order takeout, get ice cream, and binge watch bad Netflix series. Sound good?”

Emily shrugged her shoulders. “Sounds good, but what about Kate? Don’t you want to spend time with your roommate?”

“She’s visiting her family while winter break is here. She says that she barely talks to them anymore.”

“I see. What about you?”

“Well i don’t really have money for plane tickets to see my parents so I’m staying here for break. You have any plans?”

She shook her head. “None, none whatsoever.”

“Well my offer is still up if you are?” Tara then walked up to the door and turned around. “Unless you really wanna stay here and nap.”

Just as she creaked the door open, Emily jerked out of the bed and grabs her key and handbag. “So, where to?”

“Do you like chinese takeout?”

“I love Chinese takeout.” “Cool, cause I know a restaurant that serves so really good lo-mein.”

“Do they have chicken wings?”

“Uh, of course!”

“Then I’m all in!”

“Yes!” Emily blurts out as she and Tara head out to grab some takeout to eat.

        ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  Hotch was marching around in his dorm, pondering on how he should spend his winter break. Should he actually let loose a bit? Could he spend more time with his friend and roommate Matt? Yeah, maybe he could ask about how it went with asking out Kristy. Hotch was deep in thought when he heard the room door open to reveal a very, very sweaty Matt.

“Wow Matt did you just come out the shower? If so, I think you might want to change out body washes.” Aaron said as he covered his mouth.

“Relax Hotch, I was out playing basketball with a couple of friends.” He sassed while wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“Oh, so you’re on the basketball team?”

“Well, yea. But I also like to throw some hoops for fun. You should join us someday.”

“Oh, um, I don’t think you want see the horror of me trying to play basketball.” Hotch laughed.

“Oh come on, you’ll be fine.”

“No, really, I don-”

“Come on man! It’s break time! You know what that means, right. You take a B-R-E-A-K.” Matt walks away as he grabs a towel and a couple of pieces of clothing.

“Speaking of break..” Hotch said. “I was wondering if you asked out Kristy yet?”

“Um, you see, i haven’t really asked her out yet.”

“What?!”

“Yeah.” He run his fingers through his damp hair. “I haven’t had the chance to see her, at all, but I want to. I really do.”

“Ok i told you where her dorm was right?” Hotch asked.

“Yeah?”

“Okay so how about when you get cleaned up,we go there and you ask her out?”

“You mean, you’ll be there whe-”

“Yes Matt, I’ll be there with you, just so you don’t screw things up.”

“Oh okay, well I’m gonna hit the showers, I’ll ready in 30 minutes okay?”

“Okay, just make it quick.” Hotch sigh as Matt runs out to go take a shower.

About 30 minutes later Matt was ready and he and Hitch both grabbed their keys and headed towards Kristy's dorm. Matt hands were in his pockets so that his shaky hand wouldn’t visible to Hotch.

“Okay, are you ready to do this?”  Hotch asked as they both stood outside Kristy’s dorm.

Matt took a deep breath. “Ready.”

“Alright, knock on the door.”

As Matt put his hand to the door and knocked a few times, he felt his heart pounding on the inside of his chest.

Meanwhile, Kristy and Haley were listening to music while reading some magazines when they suddenly heard the door knock.

“Who’s that? Were you expecting someone Kris?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

“Who is it?” She shouts.

“Um, it- it’s Matt.” The voice shouts back.

She gasped. “Oh my god. It’s Matt!” Kristy shouts.

“What? The guy you talking about? What does he want?” Haley asks as she sees her friend runs around looking for a brush for her hair. She then stops at the mirror to see the clothes that she was wearing. “Should I change?” She asks, looking as if she’s gonna have a panic attack any moment.

“I wouldn’t.” Haley says.

Not hearing anything from inside, Matt knocked again. “Uh hello?” This only prompted Kristy to run into the closet.

“Ugh, coming.” Says Haley as she walks toward the door.

“Distract him.” Kristy whispers in the closet.

She says okay while opening up the door to see to guys standing there. One looked very serious, the other looked just as nervous as Kristy.

“Oh uh, hello.”

“Hello.” Both men waved as Haley leaned back.

“There’s two guys outside, which one is Matt?”

“He’s the tall brunette one.” “They’re both tall and brunette.” She looked back at them. “One moment.” Matt and Hotch nonchalant wait while Haley talks to Kristy.

“You know what, I think this is a bad idea. Maybe we should go.” Matt said.

“Noo no no you don’t.” Hotch says as he stops Matt from walking away. “You’ve been trying for weeks to do this, i even came with you, we aren’t leaving until you get an answer.” Hotch says as Kristy comes to the door.

“Oh...hi.” Matt blushed just at the sight of Kristy.

“Hello Matt” She then noticed Hotch standing by the side. “And Aaron. What brings you two here?”

“Well actually, I have something I’d like to ask you.”

“Oh.” Kristy blushed as she turns to her roommate before turning to Matt. “What is it I must ask?”

“Well,w-would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Wha-me? A-a date?”

He nods. “Yeah, I was wondering if you’d be interested in going out with me. But it’s fine if yo-”

“I’d love to Matt.” Kristy said as she cut off Matt

“Really?” “Yeah, I love to go out with you.” “Okay.” Matt blushed.

“Um, would it be okay if i take to a movie tomorrow?”

“A movie would be nice.”

“The movie is at 7, so I’ll pick you up at 6, is that okay?”

She nods.

“Oh okay.”

The two stood there for a moment before Matt broke the silence.

“So um, tomorrow at 6 right?”

“Oh okay.” She croaked.

He nods. “S-so, I’ll see you then.” “Okay Matt, see ya!” Kristy says as she closes the door. Matt silently stood there before walking away, with Hotch walking beside him.

“Not bad.” Hotch soothed. “You did good.”

Matt sighs. “Barely.”

“Well you still did it. I’m proud of you.” Hotch laughed as they walked down the hall.

As Kristy closed the door, she leaned back and squealed with excitement, much to Haley’s dismay.

“I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it. I got a date with Matt Simmons.”

“Nice. Finally you won’t go as boy crazy anymore…. Hopefully. Though I must admit that his friend didn’t look so bad either.”

“Oh my god! You like Matt’s roommate!”

“Maybe. But at least I can hide my emotions better than you.” Haley laughed.

“Oh stop.” She scoffed while Haley laughs.

“It’s true.”

“Well why don’t you ask him out tomorrow when Matt picks me up?”

She tilt her head. “Eh, I don’t know.”

“Why? Come on Haley! Live a little!”

She sighs. “Okay, maybe I should try and ask him out.”

“Good. Now help me find an outfit for tomorrow please?”

“Okay.” She then grabs her bag. “I guess it’s time to go shopping.” Kristy then grabs her key and purse as the two head out to the mall.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  At the cafe JJ and Kate were having a couple of cups of coffee while a young man observes them from a distance. He couldn’t help but stare at them, JJ in particular. Throughout the semester, the made several glances at each other whenever they see each other pass by, though neither had the courage to say anything. The man sighs and looks down on his sketchpad as he hears JJ and Kate laughing away.

“You alright?” “Huh?” The man looked up to see Stephen sitting besides him. “It’s fine.” He moved his seat over as he offers him his hand. “The name is Stephen, by the way.” “I-I’m Will.” He shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you Will.” “Nice to meet you Stephen.” Stephen nods and smiles. “Now, is there something bothering you?”

“Me?” Will croaked.

He nods. “I know you have something in your mind. I could tell by your posture.” Will looked down as Stephen gently rubbed his hand. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if your uncomfortable. But I am willing to help if you’re willing to open up.” Will took a deep breath and looks back at JJ and her friend before turning to Stephen.

“Is it about the blonde girl in the blue striped sweater?” He asked, referring to JJ.

Will nods. “I know it’s wrong that I’ve been staring at her, not gonna lie. It’s just that I don’t have it in me to at least talk to her, let alone go face to face.” “Well, what seems to be holding you back?” He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just not good enough for someone like her.” “Oh come on. I’m sure she’ll give you a chance. You’ll never know unless you tried it.” “I guess.” “Hey, if it bothers you so much, go up and talk to her.”

“Me? Talk to her? Right now?” Stephen nods. “Yes, right now. Now go before it's too late.” Will nods. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna go talk to her right now. Thank you Stephen.” “You’re welcome.” He then turns around as he walks up to JJ and Kate. Although nervous, he was willing to be able in speaking to JJ. Hopefully things do go well for the two of them just as JJ and Kate took notice of him.

“Hi…” He croaked.

“Hey…..” JJ responds.

“D-do you mind if I join you guys?”  Although wary at first, the two girls allowed the young man to join them, seeing how isolated he was.

“I’m Will. It’s nice to meet you both.” “I’m Jennifer, and this is Kate.” “Hi.” Kate waved.

  Stephen smiled on as he saw Will getting along with JJ and Kate. Hopefully things go well for them.

[thelittlestkitsune]

Mid-Semester; chapter three.

A/N; I just want to apologise in advance. I am so sorry. So very sorry. Enjoy! xoxo Lau

Pairing: ScottMccallxProfessor!Reader

Author: thelittlestkitsune

Warnings: none. for now.

Word count: 4,926.

Listen to me.              Mid Semester Masterlist               Let me know?

                                Just listen to me okay? Don’t question it. 

WEDNESDAY.  

You sat back, relaxing into your chair as you shut your laptop, picking at the pomegranate seeds in a ceramic bowl on your desk as students flooded through the doors, cheeks reddened after the trek up the stairs. You smiled, popping seed after seed into your mouth, the scuffling of feet on linoleum calming as they settled into their seats. “How is everyone?” You asked as you heard a chorus of groans, yawns and mumbles. “Oh that good huh? I guess you guys need to get a load off?” You heard chuckles from some of the more immature students in your class. You licked over your lips, folding your legs underneath yourself as you pulled at your shirt, closing away the sliver of skin you had on show; away from prying eyes. “Not like that you pervs. But kind of like that-” You paused, clearing your throat as you leant against your desk, your hands folded beneath your chin. “-I mean you guys are probably so stressed huh? What with midterms and job prospects?” You finished as almost every head drooped. “So how about we take it easy this week? I can’t be fucking bothered grading a paper, so instead we’re just going to do a discussion that okay?” You could practically feel the room vibrate with excitement, cheers whispered underneath breaths as the room sighed collectively.  

“So what are we talking about this week Salt?” You heard Cat refer to your nickname, gifted to you by the class. “Well Yankee-” You smiled as you continued. “-I was being kind of figurative when I said get a load off. I was also hinting at who we’re going to savage this week.” You sighed as you lifted the bowl of pomegranate seeds, half empty due to your absent minded picking. “Um, Persephone?” Audrey piped up, her blonde hair falling in curls around her face, cheeks flushed pink as she leant forwards. “Close enough Aud One.” You joked, scanning the crowd for the other Audrey. “Where’s Aud two?” You asked as you furrowed your brow, not coming across her familiar smile. “She’s not well, she’s snowed under with a cold right now.” You frowned, leaning back. “Someone should sent her hot soup and a hot boy. No one should be ill at this time.” You shrugged, looking for someone else to pick on for an answer. “Todd. Who do you think we’ll be talking about?” You asked as he looked up, his eyes red rimmed, his face sleepy. “Um, knowing you probably Zeus.” He answered nonchalantly as you shook your head, a sheepish smile on your face.  

“No fucking way.” Em muttered, her hands wrapped around her jaw as she doodled on her notebook. “Don’t fucking swear! I can talk about other things! Kinda-” You laughed as you placed the bowl back down, unaware you were still gripping at the rim. “- think of someone who is just as salty as I am and probably had the dead sea named after them.” Students seemed to pause deep in thought before Cat’s head shot up, her unusually smart shirt sticking out in comparison to the normal baseball merch she wore. “Hera. His wife and sister right?” She questioned, vaguely unsure of herself as her brows knitted low over her green eyes. “DING DING DING. Yes!! We’re talking about the Cersei and Jamie of Ancient Greece and how her spite and fury made something we are still heralding about to this day.” You licked over your lips as you pinched some seeds between your recently manicured fingers. “Okay you guys, it’s time to make like the great R&B songs of the nineties and talk about sex. Mainly about Succubi and Sirens.” You raised your brows as your lip quirked, excited chatter filling the room.  

“Weren’t sirens just mermaids with a higher sex drive and a penchant for driving men mental?” Em spoke up, her british slang confusing some of the other students as you sat there, chewing over her question. “Well, yes and no, they liked to take the lives of hapless sailors that had not blessed their voyage by praying to poseidon. They also did it for the bants. But they weren’t always seen as mermaids per se, some were half chicken?” You spouted off a useless fact as some of your students broke out into laughter. You followed suit, your lungs aching as you heard comments of chicken fucker going through the air. “But what has a half chicken woman got anything to do with the succubus.” Kenzie asked, pulling her caramel blonde hair behind her ear as her nose scrunched quizzically. “THANK YOU KENZIE.” you sighed dramatically as you flung your arms in the air, not catching them before you let your hands slap back against your legs. The slap echoed through the uncharacteristically quiet room as you swore under your breath.  

“Ow, fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck-” You caught yourself, looking up at flustered smiling faces as you collected yourself. “What I was going to say was thank you for asking that. So you know myths are connected? Every myth nicked bits and bats from other countries and legends, but never cited their sources much like the most of you-” You looked at certain students, their eyes guiltily averting away from your gaze. “-and most of what is believed to be a succubus could easily be tracked back to the siren. They were often seen on land, gorgeous insta models of women.” You soothed over your stinging skin as you cleared your throat. “Basically they were the epitome of female beauty, super gorgeous women that would lure men to sleep with them. However upon actually doing the nasty she’d suck the life force from him, leaving him a husk of a man.” You sighed, your skin calming as you leaned back. “That’s kinky.” Todd laughed, looking at his friends as he covered a grin. “Not really, if you’re doing something right any man is left a husk at the end.” Maddie giggled as she high fived Kenzie, her head turning back towards you.  

“Neither of you are wrong. Either way, we should get this lesson actually underway cause I have somewhere to be after class.” you laughed as Cat looked at you, a questioning look in her narrowing eyes. “Where you going?” She asked as you smiled, thinking of the evenings activities. “Well if you must ask, I’m heading to my best friends engagement party.” You looked down at your own hands, wondering when you’d get a ring like hers. “Congrats to them.” Cat spoke, her accent barely noticeable as you nodded, your lips pressed together firmly. “Yeah, congrats to them. Anyway, let’s talk about boats and hoes.”  

WEDNESDAY NIGHT.  

“Look I’m not saying dress like a hoe, I’m just saying you have a cracking set of tits and you should get them out!” Mal laughed as she nudged at you, her ring sparkling in the low lighting of the restaurant. You sipped at your wine, lowkey wishing it was something stronger. “She’s right you know!” Thomas spoke, his whiskey brown eyes skating over you quickly as Camile looked at him, her mouth hung open in shock. “What? I’m just saying! Remember, I only look at you that way.” He smirked as she smiled, pressing her lips to his cheek as you wished even more that you were drinking anything other than wine. Bleach? Too far. You placed your glass in front of you, looking around the table as all your friends had coupled off, arms slung over their partners, doe eyed looks on happy faces as you frowned slightly. “Cheer up buttercup. I saw the dude you’re going out with tomorrow. You won’t have that frown on your face forever.” Mal spoke cheerily as you smiled, your eyes not quite meeting hers. “Thanks!” You gripped the stem of your glass as Camile turned to you again, her lips finally leaving Thomas’. “So, what are you going to go with?” She referred back to your conversation as you shrugged. “I’m going straight from the office so I have no idea. Maybe some trousers and a shirt?”

Her head shook vigorously as she sipped at her drink, mulling over her response as she gazed off into the distance. “What about that green dress? You know the backless one? With a blazer over top for when you’re in the office?” You gulped, mouthing no as you pushed around the food on your plate. “Oh! What about the red one? The tight and short one?” Mal put forward, spooning some ramen into her mouth as the korean bbq sizzled in front of you. “It makes me look like slaggy barbie. Maybe not the best if I have a student meeting tomorrow.” you bit at your lip as you thought of Scott, quickly squashing any feelings that bubbled up. “Purple is always a nice colour?” Stuart spoke, unusual for the quiet reserved guy. “I don’t know if I have a purple dress. But I like that idea!” You smiled, giving him a small wink as he blushed behind thick rimmed glasses. “I have one you can borrow. However, if you’re going to get laid in please for the love of all that is holy; get it dry cleaned.” Camile laughed as you play slapped her arm. “Are you insinuating that I’m going to sleep with him on the first date?” Your lips quivered as you laughed.  “A man like that? You drop your panties or forego them all together. If you strike out that’s on you boo boo.” She cheersed you as you smiled, uneasy butterflies swarming in your stomach as you looked forward to tomorrow. Just got to get through tonight first.  

THURSDAY AFTERNOON.  

The dress you wore slid up your thigh as you walked across campus, your head ducked as you tried to cover yourself up. I should’ve worn something else. You bit at your lips, dry skin pulled off as you walked, nerves bubbling up as you headed to your office. At least I have my blazer on, and flats. You mentally thanked your morning self for deciding to put on the blazer rather than the leather jacket you had planned on wearing. Coffee first. You walked through throngs of students, heading to the coffee shop for your daily fix of caffeine. Your earbuds hung around your neck, your head whirring with thoughts too loud to be drowned out even by the likes of real friends. You clutched at your bag as you ascended the steps to the coffee shop, your footing uneven as the tight dress didn’t move much with your legs. Finally when inside you glanced at your phone, noting the time and how little of it you had until Derek was picking you up.  

As you ordered your phone vibrated in your hands, your poker straight hair pushed behind your ear as you smiled at your phone like an idiot.  

Sourwolf: I can’t wait to see you again, pick you up at 8?  

Smartass: Sounds great, I’ll text you when I’m finishing up my lesson okay? Can’t wait!  

Your thoughts were briefly distracted as your fingers clicked over the keyboard on your phone, only thoughts of your impending date occupying your mind. “Y/N?” A young guy spoke as he held out a takeout coffee cup, his fingers curled around the blue cardboard. You looked up, the concentration on your face evaporating as you smiled at him, handing over the cash that you owed him. You glanced out the window, cursing quietly as clouds hung low in the sky, your mood diminishing as you scurried from the warmth of the small shop, back out into the square. Students teamed the large area as you navigated through the masses of people, almost cheering as you hit a stretch of land that was barely populated. You walked fast, wanting to get to your office as quickly as possible, almost speeding through the walkways of the crowded college. You bit at the plastic lid on your coffee as you walked, deep in thought as your heels drummed against concrete, your building coming up on the left as you banked towards it. “Hey Y/N, you look nice!” Kenzie and Maddie passed you, textbooks clamped in their arms as they headed towards their psych class.  

“Thank you!” You smiled as they paused, looking as though they wanted to ask a question. “What’s up girls?” You asked, gripping your coffee a little tighter as you turned to talk to them, the sun lowering in the sky as you shivered. “We were just wondering what the mid terms are going to be like?” Kenzie looked at you with wide eyes as Maddie stiffened. “You don’t have to worry, it’s an overall paper and by both of your guys work so far; you’ll ace it.” You smiled as they both exhaled, clearly relieved. “Well hope you enjoy whatever you’re all dressed up for!” They smiled as you nodded, scurrying away through the door to your building as coffee lapped over the lip of your cup. Unlocking your office you threw your bag down, grateful you hadn’t bothered to bring your laptop. 5pm. Scott should be here soon. You had emailed him the night before, pulling the normal time forward so you wouldn’t be knackered when Derek picked you up. You slipped your shoes off, opting to pad about your office just in your stockings as you tidied away the mess.  

A knock on the door came as you bent over to put away files, your dress stretched over you almost looking like a second skin as you shouted for Scott to come in. “Hey Y/N!” Scott sang cheerily, his footsteps halting as he coughed awkwardly. “Sorry did I interrupt something?” He sounded flushed as you stood up straight, your face red as you looked at him. “No? Why? Does it look like I was doing something inappropriate?” You blew your hair from your face as you realised how short your dress was, the hemline barely skirting the curve of your ass. “Oh my god Scott, I’m so sorry! I had no idea; I pretty much just completely flashed you I'm so sorry-” You gushed, turning quickly as you pulled the bodycon material further down, his eyes twinkling as a smile played on his lips. “It’s okay Y/N. You look nice.” He blushed, his smile spreading as he gave you a crooked grin. “Why thank you Scott, that’s really nice of you to say!” Your skin grew hot as his eyes trailed over your plunging neckline, shivers spreading wherever he looked. “What’s got you all dressed up? And in colour for that matter?!” He joked, a personal jab of the lack of colour in your wardrobe. “I have a date I’ll have you know!” you smiled, suddenly shy and guilty as his face dropped.  

“Oh, that’s great!” He spoke despondently, crossing the room in a few bounds, his long legs carrying him swiftly across the small room. He took his normal place in the leather chair, his legs stretched out in front of him as you took him in properly, allowing yourself one indulgent moment. Baggy jeans coasted over his long legs, a leather belt strapped around his hips. Peeking over top was a band of white, stark against his caramel coloured skin, the hints of ink sprawled across hard muscle. You tore your eyes away as you travelled up his body, his chest hard as he sat up, the light grey henley he wore tight across his chest as it gaped open; his neck stiffening as you sucked your lips between your teeth. His arms flexed as he reached into his bag, your eyes almost glued to his forearms as he pushed the sleeves of his shirt up, bunching the material at his elbow. His skin almost shone as he looked at you, your eyes tearing away from him as you became flustered, your cheeks burning as you smiled.  

“So who’s the lucky guy then?” Scott asked his brows knitting together as something shone behind his eyes. “Just an old friend. I’m probably reading far too much into this, he probably just wants to catch up, it’s been like a decade since we saw each other last.” You sighed, settling into your chair as you undid your blazer; the material sticking to your hot skin. “Wow.” Scott sighed, regret blazing in his eyes as he looked over you. The plunging neckline of your dress skated down your chest, the delicate eyelash lace covering your freckle dusted shoulders. “He’s a really lucky guy anyone would be lucky to go on a date with you.” He breathed as you hid your smile, clearing your throat awkwardly. “Thanks, it’s really sweet of you to say.” You let your smile break free, the simple act of happiness breaking over your face as his eyes softened. “I mean it, but that’s enough of that, how about we get on with this?” He averted his gaze from you as you nodded, breaking yourself out of the bubble you had wrapped yourself in. “So what bullshit are we breaking ground on?” He asked as you rolled your eyes. “Succubi and Sirens.” You spoke, your voice slightly hushed as he looked at you with a pointed brow.  

“Succubi? We’re actually covering this?” He asked incredulously a laugh on the tip of his tongue as he ran his fingers across his chin. “Yeah, why is that hard to believe?!” you responded, confusion tinging your words. “Nah, it’s just rather random you know? You were telling me last week how you knew werewolves are real and now we’re talking about succubi and I know they’re real; it makes me wonder if vampires are lurking about somewhere in the shadows.” You laughed before his words processed, your mind reeling back to what he said. “Wait, you said succubi are real!??” You leaned forwards, your shoulders pressing your tits together as he tried to avoid looking at them. “Yeah, I knew one back in Beacon Hills. She dated my friends.” You smiled as you leaned back, an oh leaving your lips. “Friends? As in plural?” you asked as he nodded. “My best friends in fact. Derek and Stiles. She was with Derek originally and then Stiles got involved and it was all confusing cause she had no idea what she was and oh god it was a mess.”  

It was almost as if your blood ran cold at the mention of Dereks name. “You alright Y/N? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Scott waved in front of your face as you zoned out, your heart beating faster as you pieced things together. Of course they know each other. Fuck. I’m going to be sick. I should cancel. I am definitely going to be sick. This was a mistake, their both werewolves for fucks sake. IT’S OBVIOUS THAT THEY KNOW EACH OTHER. Beacon Hills isn’t that big? Maybe I’m over reacting, maybe it’s a different Derek. “Hello? Earth to y/n?” Scott called as you blinked, shaking your head as you paid attention to the wolf in front of you. “Are you okay? You went really pale?” His eyes softened as he reached for your hands, his fingers pressing tentatively against your forehead.  

“You’ve gone cold are you okay?” Scott spoke, his voice soft as his fingers trailed down the side of your face, his lips slightly parted as you looked at him. “Yeah, just got really nervous all of a sudden, sorry!” You smiled slowly, unsure of yourself as you pulled away from his touch. His hand paused where it was, retracting back slowly as he coughed. “You’ve no need to be nervous, you’re gonna kill it.” A half smile played on his lips as you mouthed a thank you, something itching inside your throat. “I’ll tell you what, how about a drink?” the words spilled from your lips as you tapped on the desk. “Coffee?” Scott asked, his hands gripping at the arms on the chair as you shook your head slowly. “Whiskey. I know it doesn’t affect you but it tastes good?” You licked over your lips as he nodded, twiddling a pen in his fingers. “Sounds good, seems like you need it anyway.” Your eyes widened as you stood, smoothing over the wrinkles in your dress. You tugged at the material, slowly pulling it down your legs as you crossed the room, your stockings snagging on the corner of your desk.  

“Oh for fucks sake.” You studied the ladder going straight down your left leg, the thin material ripping just by standing there. “The curse strikes again!” Scott laughed, covering his smile as you threw your head back. “I’m gonna make myself a double.” You sighed, bending at the hip as you unlatched your stockings from the clips that held them up. “You want one?” You asked Scott, your question unanswered as you slowly rolled your stockings down your legs. “-Yeah, a double sounds good.” You snapped up quickly, gathering the ripped material in your hands as you balled them up. “Guess I won’t be needing these anymore.” You lined up your eyes with the bin near the door, aiming your arm as you threw them across the room. They somehow bounced off the rim of the bin as you let your arms drop to your side. “I guess I’ll never make the basketball team.”  You sighed, a chuckle on your lips as you stepped forwards to pick them up, your dress riding up as you felt Scott’s eyes on you.  

“You’re too short for that anyway!” he joked as you turned to him, putting your hands on your hips. “I am not! I’ll have you know that I am above the national average height!” You smiled before turning around, heading to your bar cart in the corner by your kettle. “And how tall is that?” He asked, his voice sounding closer than before as you shrugged. “I dunno, I just know I’m not that short.” You admitted, grabbing your decanter as you poured two double whiskies. “You’re short compared to me.” His breath coasted over your neck as you stiffened, his cologne filling your nose as you shook your head. “That’s because you are the size of a rather large tree.” You laughed, your skin sizzling as he reached one arm around you, gripping at the glass on your right. You shivered as his skin brushed over yours, your lips caught between your teeth. Reaching for the other glass you turned, your body almost completely pressed against his. Okay, just breathe. “To calming down.” his voice was deepened as his chocolate brown eyes bored into yours. “To calming down.”  You smiled, clinking your glass against his before lifting it to your lips.  

HALF AN HOUR BEFORE YOUR DATE.  

“I’m just saying she’s definitely a succubus, there is no way in hell that you can look like that and not be?” Scott laughed, trying to prove his point. “You said that your friend back in Beacon Hills was a succubus out of being lonely. AT WHAT POINT IN TIME DO YOU THINK THAT GAL GADOT WAS EVER ALONE. THE WOMAN WAS FUCKING WONDER WOMAN.” You joked, your spirits lifted as you sipped on the last of your drink. “I’m just saying, the woman could get away with anything.” Scott shrugged, a cheeky smile on his face as you nodded, your eyes glancing at the clock. “You’re probably not wrong-” Your phone vibrated for the ninth time that hour as you paused, finally picking it up. “Sorry Scott, my group chat is insane right now.” You flickered through your chat with Malissa and Camile, laughing at the gifs they had sent you. Your phone vibrated again as you checked the chat, confused when a new notification didn’t pop up. Clicking back to your home screen your lips parted as you read over the texts from Derek.

Sourwolf; Hey! Sorry to drop this on you last minute but I’m actually going to be early, I got out of my meeting early and I couldn’t wait. I’ll be there around about half seven?  

Sourwolf; Sorry again y/n but I just didn’t know if you got my messages! I know you’re in a meeting right now, just gonna wait in the Camaro, if you’re late then i’ll just drop by your office!

You looked back at the clock, scrambling as you read the time. Seven fourty five. “Hey Scott, we’re going to have to leave it there, my date just texted me and he says he’s picking me up from the office!” You rushed your words, panic rising in your chest as he leaned forwards grabbing his bag. “Yeah, no worries!” He smiled reaching out to grab your hand as he calmed you down. “Don’t sweat it. Enjoy your night Y/N.” His words were tinged with sadness, guilt washing over you as you remembered he knew Derek. Please don’t cross paths. You wished as Scott stood, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, the golden hour sun hitting his skin. “I’ll try!” You smiled, grabbing your heels from your bag as you slipped them on. You stood shakily, your head rushing as you smoothed over yourself, taking your hair from the ponytail you haphazardly had it in. “I’ll see you in a few weeks then!” He spoke, his hand on the handle of the door as you finger combed through your hair. “A few weeks?” You stuttered, your lips pouted as you ran a gloss over them. “Spring break? I’m heading home for a while, thought I should try and see my friends.” He smiled, his eyes drawing over you once more.  

You felt shy under his examining eye, your body singing at the mere thought of him looking at you like that. “Well enjoy yourself. I’ll be heading home to Paradise for a while, maybe we’ll see each other.” You smiled as he laughed, dipping his chin to his chest. “Yeah, I’d really like that-” Your heart fluttered as you grabbed your phone and your leather jacket, a knock at the door making your heart plummet into your stomach. “Do you want me to get it?” Scott asked, pointing to the door that he stood beside as everything in you wanted to tell him to wait here whilst you left. “Sure-” You breathed, readying yourself as you grabbed your bag. “Hey man, sorry I’ll get out your way, I was just finishing a lesson with Y-” Scott gushed, finally looking up at the dark haired guy in front of him. “Derek?” He asked confused as he stepped to the side, letting Derek in the room as you stood there frozen. “Hey man, what you doing here?” Scott asked as Derek smiled, his stubble thicker than the last time you had seen him. Werewolf or not that stubble grows thick.  

“I’m picking up Y/N for our date.” He smiled, his pearly white teeth flashing as he looked at you. “Beautiful as ever of course.” He looked at you appreciatively, crossing the room as he placed his hand on the curve of your back, pressing a small kiss to your cheek as you glanced at a rather broken looking Scott. You swallowed thickly, trying to suppress the feeling of your heart breaking into a trillion pieces as he pressed his lips together slowly. “So this is your date huh?” Scott plastered a fake smile on, his eyes showing how he truly felt as Derek’s hand still pressed against you. “Yeah, me and Derek go way back!” You could almost hear how thick you were laying on the happiness, a little too much to be believable. “Well I hope you guys have a great time.” He waved, chucking Derek something. Derek lunged to catch it, his fingers gripping at the silver key. “Don’t be back too late okay?” They nodded at each other as Scott gripped at the strap of his bag, biting his lip as he left the room. You felt sick as you stood there, your fingers gripping onto the leather of your jacket as you felt your stomach lurch. “You ready to go?” Derek asked as you thought of the look on Scott’s face. Maybe it isn’t one sided. “Sure, let’s go.” you smiled, the corners of your lips not quite reaching your eyes as his hand laced with yours.  

You walked outside, the late California sun setting over the skyline, your eyes darting about as you looked at Derek, your stomach still unsettled as you walked to his Camaro. It wasn’t a long walk by much, but by the time you reached the black car your feet were on fire. “You hungry?” Not at all. Derek paused by the passenger door, opening it as you ducked your head, ready to climb in as you saw him. The look on Scott’s face in that moment both made your heart soar and fall into a pit. Mutual or not. I can’t be with him. I made my bed, now I have to lie in it. Your eyes fell from his as you climbed inside the car, your head slamming against the head rest as Derek rounded the car, sliding in next to you. “You okay?” He asked, smoothing over your hand as your head swam with thoughts. “Yeah, just really hungry.” You lied, the truth skirted as he revved the engine, peeling away from the college as you saw Scott in the rear view mirror, finally turning away, his head downturned. No matter how much it sucks.  

@thisrandombitch  @honeymoonmuke @sincerelystiles @sammyrenae68 @fillthevoid-stilinski @5sospoplikerock @lovefilledtragedy @ellie-bee242 @cobrienkai1972@dumbass-stilinski @maddie110201 @rememberstilinski @sweetmisseddreams2002@random-fandom-fangirl2112 @obrosey-af @sammwhiches @parislight @mf-despair-queen @7e6205 @stilinski-stydia-obrien @disagreetoagree @slow-bee-at-play@minhosmeanhoe @redstringlovers @werewolfmutant @itsall-inmy-head @susybird@hirafth @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @wydobrien @sokkasbae255 @we-are-like-a-timebomb @girlwiththerubyslippers @fan-child @fuckwhateverfuck @itsbilescallmebiles@relentlessgame @ninja-stiles @sumcp @obrienswxlf @lovelymalira@mixedupsammy  @sarasmismyonlydefence @cuillere @vixsyncynco @sumcp@fuckwhateverfuck @bluskai @lovelymalira @pentatontits  @teenwolves-ahead@skepticalstilinski @sarcasticallystilinski @apollogirl13 @savage-stilinski@montanagirlatheart @alexhmak @cathobs @blairscott @l4life

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Tutor Me

Math is evil and Harry is assigned to be your tutor. 

Quiet, nerdy Harry is a weakness of mine so I hope everyone likes this oneshot, could potentially have other parts if everyone likes it. 

My whole life I was told to enjoy high school because these were the last years I had to just be kid. It was a brief moment in time before I had to grow up so I took full advantage. My senior year started off great. I was a cheerleader, went to great parties, and got accepted into my dream school. It was all going to plan until January hit and I started my most dreaded subject. I’ll admit I barely scraped by in Math, I somehow always seemed to pull out a decent enough grade to pass the class but this time was different. Every single time I stared at a problem I just couldn’t answer it. I prayed every day in class I wouldn’t be called up to the board and work a problem in front of everyone. A month into the class and I was failing. Everything I worked for was going up in smoke due to this one stupid subject.

Even though I hated it I was glad Math was my last class of the day. My brain was fried after every lesson leaving me grateful I didn’t have to suffer through another one after it. I was almost at the door when Mr. Boroski called me aside. “Your parents will need to sign this.” He sighed passing me the quiz we just took. I wasn’t surprised to see an F at the very top. “Not your best work.”

“I know.” I grumbled, hoping he would just get the lecture over with so I could go home.

Leaning against his desk Mr. Boroski started talking again. “I know senior year is supposed to be fun and you want to live it up with your friends but you can’t neglect your studies.”

‘I’m not neglecting them, I just have no idea what the hell I’m doing.’ I thought but decided against saying it out loud. “I know, sir, I’m really trying.”

“I know you are, and it’s ok to ask for help every once and awhile which is why I assigned you a tutor.”

It felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head. “A tutor?”

“Yes, don’t worry, it’s not me.” He laughed.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” A deep voice said from behind me. I knew who it was without even having to turn around.

Harry Styles was a transfer, mostly kept to himself. The only reason we knew he was from the UK was due to his accent. He came in during freshman year. Out of the whole time I’ve known him I don’t think I’ve really seen him hang out with anyone. That didn’t mean no one tried, I know several girls that had tried their best to get his attention but it never worked. For the most part Harry was alone, he seemed to want to keep it that way. “Yes, Harry, thanks for coming.” Mr. Boroski said. “You said a while ago you would like to start tutoring. Well I believe I’ve found your first pupil.”

Harry glanced at me briefly from what I could see behind his thick, black glasses. I could feel a blush creeping up on my face. Why was I suddenly so intimidated by this boy? When neither of us said anything Mr. Boroski spoke again. “You two can figure out some sort of schedule, I just want her to be prepared for the midterm.”

“Yes, sir.” Harry nodded.

“Well that would be it, you two have a good day.”

Without another word Harry left the room leaving me scurrying behind him. The hallways were empty with the exception of the janitor mopping on the other side of the hall. Harry didn’t say anything until we arrived at his locker. I waited by patiently as he pulled out his backpack. “All right, so what’s your schedule?” He asked suddenly making me jump.

“Uh, I’m all clear since football season ended.” I stammered. “You want to meet up tomorrow after school?”

He nodded once. “Meet me in the library at three thirty.”

I quickly agreed stepping aside so Harry could walk by. He didn’t look back as he walked out of the school. I was stunned. This was the first time I had ever spoken to him so I didn’t know what I expected.  One thing was for sure, I needed him if I was going to pass this class and graduate.

I had never told anyone I was failing any of my classes. My dad knew only because he was the only one I went to with a bad grade. He would sign them, tell me to do better and then send me on my way. My mom was a little bit more strict when it came to my grades. There had been plenty of lectures when it came to Math. They both knew it was my worst subject but I don’t think they knew just how bad it actually was. I was too embarrassed to tell my friends. For the most part they all did well in their classes. Sure, they weren’t A plus students but they all passed. They probably would have helped me if they knew but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them.

Before I knew it school was over and I accidentally spent too much time gossipping with one of my friends. Checking my phone I realized it was almost three forty-five. “Oh, I gotta go.” I gasped, shutting my locker quickly.

“Why? Meeting up with Travis?” Lydia asked.

I turned my head so fast I’m surprised I didn’t get whiplash. “Like I would meet up with him.” Travis was on the football team. We had dated off and on since junior year until I found him making out with another girl in his car.

“Hey, I’m just saying, you haven’t dated anyone since him. I thought maybe you were going to give him another chance.”

“Absolutely not,” I cringed. “I told my grandmother I would help her with some cleaning.”

“Oh, well tell her hi for me, see you tomorrow.” She smiled before leaving me.

I hated lying to anyone, especially my best friend but what else was I gonna say? In a mad dash I ran into the library to see Harry walking towards me with his bag slung over his shoulder. “I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed earning a loud ‘shhh’ from the librarian.

Harry shook his head. “I’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes. Do you think your time is more important than mine or something?”

“No, of course not, I just got caught up with a friend and lost track of time. I’m so sorry, it won’t happen again.”

I was prepared for him to brush pass me and tell me to find another tutor but instead he turned around and walked back towards a table. “You coming?” He asked over his shoulder.

Collecting myself I followed him. He sat on one side of the table with me on the other. I pulled out my book and binder while he handed me a sheet of paper. “This is just a practice quiz I made to see where you’re at.”

I stared dumbly at the questions in front of me. While Harry worked on his own homework I began his quiz. This quiz was just like the ones in class. I would stare at the paper and wish the problems would somehow solve themselves. When that didn’t happen I would try my best to answer each question but I was sure all of it was wrong.

Right as I finished the last problem I heard a phone ding. When I saw that it wasn’t mind I noticed Harry pick up his own phone. “I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to leave earlier than I thought.”

“Oh, is everything ok?” I asked, sort of grateful I wouldn’t have to listen to him laugh at how stupid I was when it came to this subject.

“Huh? Oh yeah, it’s fine, my Mum just reminded me we’re having people over for dinner tonight. One of her friends from work.”

As we started packing our stuff away he reached for the quiz. “I’ll look over this tonight and we’ll talk about it tomorrow, all right?”

“Ok.” I murmured, not wanting to talk about it at all.

Without really saying goodbye we left the library and went to our own cars. As I drove home I started to dread our next session. Harry probably already had some idea of how bad I was at Math but after he grades that quiz he’ll know I’m completely clueless. I didn’t want to face that kind of judgement. If Mr. Boroski assigned him to be my tutor it was because Harry was one of his best students. Now here he was tutoring me who was on the verge of failing her senior year.

When I got home I checked my phone. No surprise, I had a few text messages from Lydia asking if I wanted to go out to eat that night with the rest of the cheerleading squad. Deciding a night out would do me some good I sent back a quick reply. With a few hours to spare before we had to meet up I decided to finish up the rest of my homework. As I started working on my History notes I thought back to the library. While I tried to work out a few problems I would glance up at Harry. With us being in the same grade I had noticed him in the halls on occasion. Every girl thought he was attractive, with his looks combined with his accent it was surprising he never really had a girlfriend. I wondered why. Obviously he was smart, but what else was there to know about him?

I spent more time daydreaming than actually doing my homework. Deciding I done enough for the moment I headed out to meet up with my friends. We usually spent our time in a small cafe in the middle of town. When I got there Lydia was already at a table with a few other girls from the squad. “Ladies,” I greeted, taking a seat beside Lydia.

“So where were you after school?” Aubrey asked, I almost wished she didn’t show up. After I broke up with Travis it didn’t take long for her to ask him out. I had never been one to cause arguments so I never said anything but it still bothered me.

“I had some studying to do.” I muttered.

“I thought you were helping your grandmother?” Lydia asked.

I suddenly remembered the lie I had originally told Lydia. “Oh right, I finished early and started studying for our Anatomy test.”

None of them seemed convinced. I knew they weren’t going to let the subject go so I quickly excused myself from the table to go order a drink. I mumbled something to the barista, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to my friends. Instead I sat down at the bar and waited for my drink. In the quiet cafe I heard the bell ding above the door indicating someone had entered. Looking over I saw Harry stroll in. Glancing between him and my friends I was torn from saying hi and just ignoring him like usual. None of my friends were ever rude to him but how would they react to me suddenly talking to him?

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt someone sit down next to me. I was surprised to see Harry taking up the stool beside me. “So I graded your quiz.” He whispered.

I cringed, this was the last thing I wanted to talk about right now. I knew what he was going to say and I wasn’t prepared for it. “Can we not talk about this here?” I asked.

Harry narrowed his eyes slightly. “Why not?”

I didn’t answer but I could hear Lydia call my name from our table. Before I had the chance to reply Harry nodded his head slightly. “I see, you don’t want to be seen talking to me?”

My eyes widened in surprise. “No, no that’s not it.” I stammered.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tomorrow after school.”

With that he was gone faster than he arrived. I was stunned. How did he think I wouldn’t want to be seen talking to him? I had been so out of it I hadn’t even noticed the barista place my coffee in front of me. When he cleared his throat I finally snapped out of my trance and headed back to my table. “So what’s up with you and brooding Harry Styles?” Leave it to Aubrey to get straight to the point.

“Nothing.” I said quickly.

“Oh come on, I’ve never seen the guy talk to anyone and all of a sudden you’re friends with him.”

I glanced at Lydia for some kind of help but she seemed just as interested in some kind of explanation. “Really, it’s nothing.” I muttered, taking a sip of my drink, burning my tongue preventing me from saying anything else.

Surprisingly they let the subject go. Instead Aubrey started going on and on about a guy she had met at the gym. I tuned the conversation out when Lydia joined in. I was still confused by Harry’s sudden change in attitude. As far as I knew I had never seen Harry be bullied especially by anyone I was friends with. Some girls on the cheerleading squad had even asked him out on several occasions. I just didn’t get it but I had a feeling our next tutoring session would be tense.

The next day I felt sick. Partly from having to face Harry but more than likely the stomach flu that had been going around. During Home Economics I had to run out in a panic to the bathroom. By the time I got back Mrs. Turner had already contacted the office and told them to call my parents. I was home in bed by lunch. I vaguely remember my mom telling me she had to go back to work but she would be home early if I needed her. I couldn’t keep anything down and decided to lay on the couch in the living room since it was the closest to the bathroom. At some point I fell asleep and was woken up by a loud knocking. Wrapping myself up in a blanket I trudged over to the door and opened it. My mouth fell open seeing Harry standing on my front porch. He seemed just as surprised. “Oh so you really are sick?” He questioned. “I thought you were faking to get out of tutoring.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m glad you think of highly of me.”

“Sorry.”

“What do you want, Harry? And please hurry, I don’t want to throw up on your shoes.”

“I just came by to give you some worksheets from Mr. Boroski, some practice problems to help with my tutoring you.”

Reaching out I took them from him. I stared dumbly at them just as I had the practice quiz. I waited for him to bring that up but he never said anything. “Harry, I’m sorry.” I muttered.

“For what?”

“Last night, I didn’t get a chance to explain.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yes, yes I do.” Swallowing my pride I started talking before I could stop myself. “My friends don’t know I’m being tutored.”

“Why not?”

“I’m embarrassed, I guess, they all pass without a problem. I don’t want them to know how bad I am with this. I’m sure you already know how much I need help.”

Harry took a step closer to me. “I would never say it like that. There’s nothing wrong with needing a little help with Math.”

“Yeah, but Harry, I’m awful.”

“Well, that’s why I’m here. I’m gonna help you, just maybe not today because it looks like you’re about to fall over.”

If I looked how I felt I’m sure I looked like death warmed over. “I would appreciate it. And here.” I sighed, pulling my phone out of my hoodie pocket. “Put your number in so next time you won’t have to come here and see me look like this.”

Taking the phone I heard him laugh slightly. “You look fine, I’m just messing with you.”

A faint blush crept up my cheeks. “You don’t have to lie but I don’t want you getting sick, ok?”

After handing me the phone back he nodded once watching how I called the number he just put in, now he had mine as well. “So I’ll see you later?”

I nodded in agreement and watched as he walked down the porch steps towards his car. Once he had driven off I stepped back inside to take another nap. It was nighttime by the time I woke up. Rolling over I reached over for my phone. Only one text message was on the screen from a new number. I re-read the words over and over again knowing it was from him. ‘Feel better x.’ With just a simple message I started to feel a little better about everything going on in my life.

The next day my mom still wasn’t sure about letting me go to school. Insisting I needed one more day of rest she let me stay home. Another day spent in bed only this time I was beyond bored. I glanced at the worksheets Harry brought by. If I wasn’t going to see him for tutoring the least I could do would be to just try and work on these problems. Pulling out notes I had taken from class I tried to use the techni ques Mr. Boroski taught us in class. I was able to work out the first few but the rest didn’t come as easily. I finished what I could and called it a day.

My mom let me go back to school that Friday. I was actually glad to be back but soon realized I missed more than I originally thought. In high school things change quickly. In the two days I was gone Lydia had began dating Travis. I felt sick all over again. I didn’t have feelings for him anymore but seeing my best friends dating my ex sent a whole new wave of nausea through me. When she asked if I was meeting up with him she was testing the waters to see if I had any feelings left for him. I said no so she took that as the go ahead to start seeing him officially. It hurt even more to hear Aubrey had encouraged the whole thing. In the blink of an eye my whole world turned upside down. My two best friends had betrayed me and I felt more alone than ever.

Even though I had missed two whole days of classes I couldn’t bring myself to sit in a classroom where everyone knew the current situation. I held it together at first but soon found myself sitting in a corner in the back of the library. When I was finally alone I broke down. Tears fell down my cheeks leaving droplets on my jeans. I knew I missed my first two classes but didn’t bother standing to go to the rest. I thought about leaving all together, it was Friday it would give me the weekend to pull myself together. I was still considering my options when I heard someone clear their throat. “This is where I go when I need to get away from everyone too.” Harry spoke making me pick my head up.

Quickly wiping my face with my jacket sleeve I asked. “Y-you want your spot back?”

“No,” He sighed walking over to sit down beside me. “No, I think you need it more than I do.”

Sighing in frustration I choked out. “So you’ve heard about it too?”

“Word gets around in a small school like this, even I bound to hear about it.” He explained. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not, if you were you would be in class with your head held high. Not sitting in the back of a library, crying.”

He was right, of course. “I just didn’t know how to face it all. I was gone for two days and everyone I thought I could trust betrayed me. I think you’ve got it right, don’t be friends with anyone...you don’t get hurt that way.”

Leaning his head back against the bookshelves he said. “Don’t say that, you’ve got plenty of people that care about you. Don’t let a few assholes ruin that for you.”

I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. “Why do you never talk to anyone?”

Harry seemed surprised by my sudden change in conversation. “No reason.”

“There has to be some reason. I won’t judge you, I promise, I’m just curious.”

He opened his mouth and shut it again. It was like he was considering his answer before he said it. “I guess...when I moved here I was terrified. A brand new place, I was shy to the point of shutting myself off. You all have gone to school together since you were kids, I guess I would never fit in so I didn’t bother trying.”

“So you’re not some mysterious, lost soul, you were just too lazy to make friends?” I joked.

It worked, it was the first time I ever heard him really laugh. “I wouldn’t say I was lazy,” He chuckled. “Maybe I was just waiting for someone else to make the first move.”

Just when I think I may be figuring this guy out he throws me a curveball. Was he being flirty? I didn’t have the nerve to find out. Reaching into my bag I pulled out the worksheets from the night before. “I finished a few last night but I couldn’t work them all out.” I told him.

Shuffling the papers in his hands he said. “I may have lied to you, Mr. Boroski didn’t give me these. I made them myself so I could see just what you could and couldn’t do.”

“Well obviously it’s not a whole lot.” I grumbled.

“Don’t beat yourself up like that,” He chastised. “Now that I know what you can do it’ll make tutoring you easier. We can skip over certain areas and just concentrate on the important parts.”

It made sense. Here I thought he was going to mock me but instead he just needed to know how and what to teach me. “Thanks, Harry.”

“For what?”

“For taking the time to tutor me, I’m sure you would rather be doing anything else.”

“Hey, like you said I don’t really have any friends so I don’t really have anything else to do.”

“Well consider me flattered.”

“You should,” He countered, pushing himself off the floor he held his hand out to me. “Come on, I know hiding out in here is tempting but you have to face it sometime.”

I knew he was right. Placing my hand in his I let him pull me up off the floor. When I was standing upright he continued to hold my hand. Looking up into his green eyes I wanted to say something else but had nothing in mind. “Thanks,” I blurted.

“No problem, how about we go to my house instead? I think you’ve spent enough time in the library today.”

I agreed as we began walking out of the library together. Stepping into the halls felt like I suddenly walked into a fish tank. It seemed like all eyes were on me, waiting to see how I would react. Taking a deep breath I trudged forward vaguely aware of Harry walking along beside me. Everything was going ok until I spotted Lydia and Travis walking hand in hand. I froze, here they were, they never even noticed me but they were all I could focus on. A shoulder gently connecting with mine pulled me out of my thoughts. Glancing over Harry was looking down at me with a sympathetic look. “Everything’s ok, just ignore them.”

His voice was soothing, instantly calming my frazzled state. With him beside me I continued on until we got to my next class. “I’ve got Chemistry...see you later?” He asked.

I nodded my head, watching on as he walked away. I still wanted to leave, this day was a lost cause, but maybe if I had someone like Harry in my corner it will all be ok. “I got this.” I whispered as I went to my seat.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. I kept to myself when I wasn’t around Harry. No one from the cheerleading squad talked to me, which I expected. It seemed like they all took a side early on and it wasn’t mine. For the rest of the night I kept my head down, speaking only to my teachers. Whenever my class would end Harry would meet up with me in the hall. He didn’t really speak, he was mostly there for silent support.

When the final bell rang he found me by my locker. “Just follow me to my house. My mum shouldn’t be home for a few hours.”

I agreed as I gathered my books. We walked out together, him leading me to my car before going to his own. I waited a few minutes before he started driving with him following close behind. He lived about ten minutes away in a nice subdivision. Manicured lawns, older women walking their prissy dogs, it was pretty nice. Harry pulled into the driveway of a two story brick house with red shutters. No other cars were in the driveway but I didn’t think anything of it since he already said his mom was going to be gone.

Without saying anything he led me inside. “You want something to drink?” He asked, going over to the fridge.

“No, thank you,” I said noticing how relaxed Harry seemed to be in his own environment.

He had taken off his thick sweater leaving him in a plain white T-shirt. It was the first time I had ever noticed how toned his arms were. I had noticed never his rings before either, just how many did this boy own?

As I started unpacking my bag Harry came over to sit down next to me. “So where do we start?” I asked.

“First I want to say what I’ve noticed, when you get nervous, you shut down. Math makes you nervous so you give up on the problem.”

“It’s not that I’m nervous, I’m just clueless.”

“But you were able to figure out some of these problems, what made these different?” He asked, holding up the first worksheet I was able to finish.

“I guess because Mr. Boroski taught us different ways to solve them.”

“Well there you go, just because you didn’t learn one way doesn’t mean you’re bad at Math. It just means you learn differently.”

For the next two hours Harry went over several different ways for me to work out whatever problem was in front of me. By the end of it he watched on as I began my homework. When I finished he held out his hand to check it. I stared at his face as his eyes scanned the paper. His focus was on the sheet in front of him leaving me to be able to really analyze his features. He had the most beautiful green eyes. His lips formed a pout, occasionally he would bite his bottom lip when he was really concentrating. A few times he would run his hand through his cropped brown hair messing it up slightly.

Our eyes met when he finally looked up. “Good job, just remember to show all of your work. Mr. Boroski is a stickler for that.”

“Oh, ok,” I murmured.

Standing up from the table he walked around to the pantry. “You hungry?”

“I should probably get home.” I said even though I really didn’t want to leave just yet.

“No, stay,” He urged. “It’s Friday night and after the week you’ve had I think you deserve a nice meal.”

“You cook?” I questioned, watching on as he began pulling items from the pantry.

“Occasionally,” He smirked. “Fajitas are my specialty.”

“Well at least let me help you. Cooking relaxes me.” I smiled rising from my seat to join him at the stove.

It was like we had been friends for years. I was able to get him talking about stuff other than school. I learned about his home in England, his older sister who was going to University in London, that he moved to the US with his mom when she got a new job in town. He was like an open book once I got him talking. There was one subject I was hesitant to ask about though. After a while I wondered if he was seeing anyone.

Our food was finished and we were sitting back at the table when I worked up enough courage to ask. “So...I know you said you’re private but...have you dated anyone since moving here?”

He didn’t say anything for a while, his eyes going from me to his plate. Taking a deep sip of water he sighed. “I did...sophomore year.”

With that answer I could tell it didn’t end well. I didn’t want to push the subject any further but he continued. “She was in college.” He explained. “I met her in town and I lied about my age. I told her I was eighteen and somehow she believed me.”

“Wow, I never thought you would be the type to do something like that.”

“I was in love...or I thought I was. I decided to surprise her one day and I found her in bed with someone else. I was devastated. I closed myself off completely so I would never feel that way again.”

I was shocked. I couldn’t believe someone would treat him like that. “Harry, I’m so sorry.”

Shaking his head he reached over to pat my arm. “It’s not your fault. I know not everyone would do that to me I just...didn’t want to take the chance. Not like it matters much anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

He took a deep breath. “I’m moving back to London after I graduate. I’ve already been accepted to University.”

A small piece of my heart broke. Here I was getting to know this guy and it wouldn’t matter in a few months. He was leaving, he had a plan and I knew I wouldn’t be able to change that.

Pushing my plate aside I suddenly didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. “It’s getting late, I better get going.”

“Let me walk you out.”

I wish he wouldn’t but he was too much of a gentleman. He walked me all the way to my car. “Just a heads up, Mr. Boroski is giving out a pop quiz on Monday.” He said opening the door for me.

“Great, just the thing I need on a Monday.” I frowned.

“Hey, don’t worry, you’re going to do fine. If not then I’ll help you with whatever gives you issue.” He told me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

His touch sent a shiver down my spine. I knew it, I had a full blown crush on this guy. It had hit me harder than any guy I had ever been with. A thrilling feeling in my stomach instantly turned to dread when I thought back to him telling me about him moving. Mumbling a quick goodbye I climbed into my car and drove home. Images of him smiling filled my head, his laugh could still be heard. This boy was taking over my entire being but I couldn’t let him. It would only end in heartbreak.

I spent my weekend at home. To distract myself from thinking about Harry I cleaned my entire bedroom from top to bottom. Went through my closet and donated old clothes I never wore, dusted the furniture, and put away pictures of me along with Lydia and Aubrey. Neither had spoken to me since I found out about Lydia and Travis. It wasn’t surprising but it still hurt they wouldn’t try to reach out. I guess my dad was right when he said I wouldn’t be friends with everyone I went to high school with. I just thought we would stop being friends after we graduated. I never expected us to drift apart while we were still in the middle of our senior year.

Even though I had tried my best to not think of him whenever I had a spare minute Harry would take over my thoughts. I wanted to continue to get to know him, to make him laugh, hear about his favorite books or movies. I just wanted to be around him. The boy had taken over my life without even trying.

On Sunday afternoon I tried reading a book I had been meaning to read for a while. I stared at the same page for what felt like hours but the words wouldn’t sink in. When I felt my phone vibrate beside me I picked it up in an instant. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” Harry spoke. “I was just calling to see if you’re prepared for tomorrow’s quiz.”

“Uh, about as ready as I’ll ever be,” I sighed, I hoped my disappointment couldn’t be heard in my voice. He finally calls me and it’s because he wanted to talk about school?

“You’ll be fine, I’m telling you if you can’t work out a problem one way just use one of the other techniques I taught you.”

“I will, thanks,” I mumbled.

I wanted to ask him out. Maybe we could do something that didn’t involve tutoring. The question was on the tip of my tongue when he said he had to go. He wished me good luck and hung up the phone. Falling backwards on my bed I wanted to let out a frustrated scream. I was never one to be so hopeless with a guy. I fell asleep that night still thinking about Harry wishing somehow things would work out the way I wanted them to.

School was back to normal. No one stared at me in the hallways or talked about me behind my back. I was still alone but I prefered it that way at the moment. Unfortunately Harry was nowhere to be found. Even though I wanted to be around him I missed how he made me feel more secure with him walking with me. When I still hadn’t seen him after lunch I started to get nervous. By the time Math class rolled around I felt even more anxious. I was sure I was going to bomb the quiz but after seeing the problems in front of me everything Harry had taught me came rushing back. For the first time I was able to work everything out and actually feel confident in my answers. Even Mr. Boroski seemed surprised when I was one of the first to turn in my quiz. “I’ll grade it right now,” He whispered.

I stood at his desk with a lump in my throat as I watched his red pen glide over my paper. Finally, after what felt like hours he passed it back to me. My mouth fell open in shock when I saw the eighty at the top. “Good job.” He said.

I wanted to squeal in happiness. This had been my first passing grade all semester. When the bell rang I searched the halls for Harry. Through the crowd of people I spotted him at his locker. Without even saying anything I all but crashed into him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. He seemed surprised as he tried his best to turn around. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I grinned.

Gently he wrapped his fingers around my wrists to unlock them from around his torso. He turned to face me with a smile of his own on his face. “What’s this about?”

Holding my quiz in front of my face I exclaimed. “Look! I passed!”

“I told you don’t worry about it, you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.”

I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I was so happy and grateful for him my body just moved on its own. Stepping closer to him I raised my head up until my lips connected with his. It was a quick peck but time seemed to freeze. After I took a step back the realization of what I had done hit me like a ton of bricks. Harry stood in the same spot, his eyes as wide as saucers. His mouth slightly hung open in shock. “Uh...I have to go.” He mumbled, slamming his locker and brushing past me.

I stood around in disbelief and embarrassment. Did that really just happen? Did I just ruin everything in a split second? The joy I felt when I saw my grade was gone, now I just wished I could take it all back. I wanted to apologize but didn’t want to face him again. Crumpling up my quiz I headed outside to the parking lot. Harry’s car was long gone along with my hope of him becoming anything more than my tutor.

When I got home I was relieved to see no one else was back yet. I needed some time to myself after what happened in the hallway. Falling onto the couch I started watching some sort of movie on Netflix but I stopped paying attention when the cute teenage couple began making out. I was still mad at myself. How could I do that? Now not only will Harry hate me but he will definitely stop being my tutor after that.

I was in the middle of my self-loathing when I heard the doorbell ring. Dragging myself over to the door I almost fell over when I saw Harry standing on the other side. “Harry.” I breathed not knowing where this conversation was going.

“I’m sorry for running off like that.” He sighed, his hands stuffed into his jean pockets.

“It’s ok, I did kind of jump you.”

“No, no, it’s not that. I mean, you did surprise me but I’m not mad that you did it.” He explained.

Now he was just confusing me. “Then why did you run away like that?”

“Because you fucking terrify me. This terrifies me.” He said, his voice rising slightly. “I’ve had walls up for so long I don’t know how to take them down. I haven’t let myself care about anyone since my ex. I don’t want to go through that again.”

“I understand that, Harry, but I don’t have the best track record with guys either. Most have either cheated on me or just...lost interest.” I frowned, I hadn’t told him that much about my previous love life but if we were being honest I needed him to know. “I’m scared too, you know.”

“How about this? We take whatever this is slow because...I do want to see where this goes.”

The sides of my mouth tugged up into a smile. “I would like that.”

With a smirk on his face he took a step forward. “Is this slow enough?” He asked, leaning his head down so his breath hit me in the face. “You took me off guard earlier...I want to make our first kiss a little better than that.”

“Then maybe you should move a little faster.” I whispered.

Without missing a beat he leaned down until his lips connected with mine. My arms were quick to wrap around his neck while I felt his rest on my hips. Kissing him felt even better than I originally thought. His lips were soft and fit perfectly against mine. He didn’t push anything further, we both seemed content with just a simple kiss. When he pulled away he rested his forehead against mine. “We still need to work on your Math homework though.”

I groaned. “Fine, if you say so but I want a date at some point.”

“I think I can handle that.”

Our future may still be uncertain but I knew I could face it with Harry by my side. It would take some time but maybe we would be able to help each other.

[luxvitae]

Tell Me A Lie | Jungkook

Summary: If there was one thing Jungkook never did, it was lie.  Word Count: 2.6k

“So I’ll pick you up around six then we’ll go to the library to study,” Jungkook confirmed, tilting his head at you with his little bunny smile making it impossible to resist.

“Fine,” you groaned, giving him a grimace as he hooted loudly into the almost empty hallway, “Only if you buy the food this time.”

Setting back in the space next to you, he just winked at you before puffing out his chest just to boost his ego a little bit more than it already was.

“Of course. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t?,” he asked, feigning innocence as he deliberately ignored the pointed glare on your face, memories of the last time the two of you studied together where you spent almost $75 just on dinner to feed the growing boy you called your best friend playing in your head.

“Shut up,” was all you said, lightly shoving him away from you as the two of you closed in on your lecture hall. Expecting him to just wave and walk down to his own class, you didn’t bother to really stop until you felt a familiar weight on your forearm pulling you to a halt.

“Seven o’clock. Don’t be late,” Jungkook said, eyes staring straight into your own causing a slight shiver to run down your back. With a small smile breaking the serious demeanor of his face, he lightly poked poked your forehead, forcing it backward before walking away.

Scoffing at the audacity the boy had, you just stared at his smug figure with a pointed glare. “You better be there to pick me up then!,” you called back at him.

“Of course. I never lie,” he yelled back, turning into his own class with a wave of his hand.

“Happy hour tonight at Mike’s. The whole department is going. You down?,” your roommate, Hana, asked, shimmying up to your desk once your professor dismissed class.

Sending her a sorry look, she just gave you a pout and an inward whined. “This is the third time you’re missing a department night out y/n. Just tell Jungkook that it’s important bonding time for you.”

Attracting the attention of Minhyung and Seri nearby, you were soon swamped with other creative writing majors demanding to know why you didn’t want to spend time with them (not that seven hours a day, four times a week wasn’t enough).

“I’m sorry! Midterms are coming up for him and he can’t study unless he’s with another person,” you argued, not being able to stand all the sad looks you were on the receiving end of.

“Guys let’s not force her. I’m sure she’d rather spend time with her boyfriend,” Minhyung teased, bursting out laughing at the deep shade of red you had gotten in such a short amount of him.

“He’s not my boyfriend, quit it Min,” you scolded the second year, fanning yourself to attempt to return back to your original color.

“It’s like he knows when we’re planning to go out. He always plans things on the days we have bonding time,” Hana said thoughtfully, retreating to her own desk to pack up her notebooks and pencils.

Shrugging, you just looked at her with a blank stare. In all honesty, you hadn’t given Jungkook’s advances a second thought much less an ulterior motive. He didn’t seem to have any qualms about your department nor did he ask about the people in general.

“Hey y/n,” Seonwoo, a guy one year your senior, greeted, coming up to where you were putting all your pens back into their place.

“Hey Woo,” you smiled, always happy to see the older. Even if you’re now a third year, he would always have a special place in your heart as he was the first person to approach you when you were a scrambling first year who was too afraid to even speak.

“So are you finally coming out with us tonight? It’s been awhile since all of us had spent time with each other,” the tall brunet asked, soft brown eyes coming up in a hopeful stare that you had to painfully reject.

“Unfortunately not,” you pouted, “Jungkook asked me to study with him tonight.”

“Are you guys still not together?,” Seonwoo inquired, pushing himself off the edge of your desk when you slung your back onto your back.

“No we’re not together. He’s just a friend. A really good one,” you confirmed, not thinking much of it as you waved goodbye to the other students still cleaning up and walking towards the exit with the older next to you.

Seonwoo was a good six inches taller than you with a thick build much like Jungkook’s. With dark brown hair that seemed to glow in the sunlight and eyes of a puppy, he was the epitome of a perfect college guy. Jungkook didn’t seem to like him all that much, saying he was pretentious and thick headed, although you never saw anything of the sort when you looked at the older. If it wasn’t for the copious amount of respect you had for him, you would’ve been falling at the feet of Shin Seonwoo just like everyone else.

“So, if you’re not dating him and you’re studying with him tonight, then I assume your schedule for tomorrow is clear?,” Seonwoo cheekily asked, nuzzling his shoulder into yours as you walked out of the hall.

“I guess-”

“Great. I’ll be at your dorm by five,” he smiled, throwing a look behind you prompting to follow his line of sight to see Jungkook leaning against the wall adjacent to the door, seemingly immersed in his phone.

“Better go before he blasts me again,” Seonwoo joked, giving your wrist a quick squeeze before running off.

Taking a deep breath, you turned to face Jungkook who was already looking at you and by the look in his eyes, he heard everything. He might not have been the smartest computer science major, but he sure did know how to use his ears for all the wrong reasons.

“Ready to go?,” he asked as if nothing was wrong, taking your bag off your back to carry it himself.

Walking side by side in silence, you studied the type of silence between the two of you. Comfortable tranquility was something common when it came to you and Jungkook; most of the time you guys spent together was usually spent with background noise as a filler. But not now. Now it was white noise.

Knowing the other for as long as you have, you could tell what he was thinking by the slightest of things. When he was angry, his left ring finger would twitch. When he was sad, his eyes would squint a little more than they usually do. It was the little things that would scream out when he would keep his mouth shut, but now, for the first time in your entire life, you had no idea what he was thinking. And Jeon Jungkook was always thinking.

“What’s up Jeon?,” you asked, trying to lighten the mood with a brighter tone than usual only to get shut down by his blank stare.

Frowning, you stopped in your tracks, expecting him to stop with you. Only he didn’t. He walked straight ahead, not even bothering to look back at you. Something was definitely wrong and if he wasn’t going to tell you, you were going to make him.

“Jungkook,” you said seriously, your tone causing him to stop in his tracks and look back at you with the same blank stare he used when he first looked at you, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing-”

“You never lie”

Taking a deep breath, he visibly forced himself to relax, closing his eyes to recuperate before opening them to reveal his dark brown eyes. Jungkook pursed his lips before walking back over to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders like he usually does when he doesn’t know what to say.

“Did something go wrong during class? Did you forget your glasses again?,” you asked, looking up to see Jungkook just shake his head.

“It’s nothing. It’s something really small and stupid,  don’t worry about it,” he played off, shrugging his shoulders.

Rounding the corner to the dorms, the gears clicked and the pieces fell into place. Jungkook, although trying to act reserved, was never good at hiding his feelings. After a life long friendship, there was little he could hide, even fewer that he could hide well. From staring at Seonwoo and trying to play off his problems as nothing, you could probably take a wild guess at what was actually bothering him. As the two of you strolled up to the security door, Jungkook’s arm fell from your shoulders to give your bag back to you.

“You don’t want me to go tomorrow, do you?,” you quietly asked, your thoughts confirmed as he avoided your gaze.

Softly chuckling, you just took your bag from his tensed hands, not pulling away until you felt him unclench them. You hated when Jungkook felt the need to hide things from you, especially when it’s about you.

“I- I don’t care if you go tomorrow or not. Just be careful, Seonwoo’s not as great as you think he is,” Jungkook said, bringing you into a slight hug before turning to go back to his own dorm.

“Are you sure?,” you asked skeptically, eyebrowed furrowed in concern as his back looked a little more hunched than usual.  

“I don’t lie”

“It’s like you want her to be happy with someone else,” Hoseok lazed from the couch overlooking the campus because between the two of them on a student budget, there was barely any money for the couch much less a TV.

Rummaging through the fridge for his deodorant (don’t ask), Jungkook just sighed for the nth time since he entered the dorm. With only forty minutes until he needed to pick you up for the “study date” he planned, Hoseok’s word planted themselves into the crevices of both his mind and heart.

“You’re not helping!,” Jungkook exclaimed, rolling his eyes as he took his head out of the machine.

“I’m not here to help,” was all Hoseok said, throwing a piece of paper out of balcony door, “But if it got you thinking ‘I’m an idiot’, glad I could help.”

“She’s literally going on a date with the only guy I have a problem with on this entire campus. And there’s over a thousand guys on this fucking campus,” the younger stressed, “And it’s not like she’s ever gonna see me as anything other than a friend because that’s all I’ve been for the past 20 years, Hoseok. A friend.”

“If there’s one thing about being older,” Hoseok mused, getting up from the couch with his beer can still in his hand, “It’s that I know how to deal with wallowing teens.”

“I’m only a year younger than you-”

“First piece of advice, young one,” he said, taking a sip from the can, “Get that stick out of your ass. You can’t expect her to give you a chance if you don’t give yourself one first.”

“You got a four?”

“Go Fish”

“Fuck you. I know you have a four in there somewhere”

“If the two of you were going to play Go Fish the whole time, then why bother coming to the library to study?,” Hana whined from across the table where she was actually doing work.

Feeling bad that you couldn’t make it to the department event, Hana decided to go with you and Jungkook to get some of her own assignments done. Unfortunately, she didn’t realize that when the two of you had study dates, it was more of a study-for-two-minutes-then-end-up-doing-literally-anything-else-except-for-studying kind of night.

“Seven”

“Go fish”

“That’s such a lie,” Jungkook said, automatically calling you out on your bullshit. Due to your inability to keep a straight face while blatantly lying, you broke into a soundless laugh.

“Check for yourself then,” you taunted, only having 50% of the confidence you presented, that 50% dwindling down to a solid 2% as your best friend grabbed the hand that wasn’t holding your cards and pulling you toward him. Losing your footing for a few seconds, Jungkook was quick to react, pulling you safely into his lap with you straddling his legs.

Freezing up at the position you were in, you were close enough to count the eyelashes that lined his eyes, see the pupils in his eyes dilate, feel the heavy breathing of his nose. Maybe it was the lighting or the fact that you hadn’t slept an acceptable amount of hours in the past week, but you found yourself staring, wanting to take in whatever it was that had caught you prisoner in the crime that was Jeon Jungkook’s face.

“Looks like we’re in a ‘card’promising situation,” Jungkook joked, immediately snapping you out of your thoughts.

Inwardly groaning, you made your way off his lap, back to your own chair, ignoring the pointed looks you were getting from Hana in the corner of your eye.

“What the hell was that,” she almost yelled, eyes wide and tone beyond belief at what she just witnessed.

Shrugging, the two of you just returned to your hushed card game, leaving Hana distraught. Going back and forth for another forty minutes, and almost strangling Jungkook for not giving up that damn four, he went to buy the food he promised, leaving you and your roommate to yourselves.

“How are the two of you not dating?,” she asked, almost demanded, the moment Jungkook stepped out of the building.

“Hana you’re almost as bad as Minhyung-”

“No y/n I’m serious. That’s not something that happens between ‘just friends’,” Hana said, gesturing to the scene she was subjected to experience right before her eyes. “I see the way he looks at you, y/n. The boy’s smitten and I don’t know how you don’t see it.”

“Stop it,” you said, not wanting your mind to think something is there when it isn’t.

“The two of you have been side by side for twenty years, it’s almost impossible for both of you to have strictly platonic feelings through all of that,” the girl across from you reasoned, both of you too immersed in your conversation to see Jungkook making his way to the table with packages of food.

“Okay I got regular and spicy because I know you love spicy food-”

“Do you have feelings for me?,” you blurted out, instantly regretting letting Hana’s word get to your head.

Letting the question sink in, Jungkook visibly paled, Hoseok’s words replaying in his head, taunting him at what could be. It wasn’t easy admitting he was practically in love with you to himself, much less anyone else; admitting it to you directly- wow. Just the thought of it made Jungkook want to die just a little bit inside. But if there was anything he learned in the past twenty years, it was that love can only blossom between two people.

“-right?”

“What?,” he asked, too caught up in his self monologue that totally missed whatever you said.

“I said to just tell me the truth. That you don’t have feelings for me,” you repeated, watching the wide range of emotions pass through his face as you heart beat raced against your ribcage, each beat growing louder and louder.

“But I would be doing the one thing I never do,” he said, deep obsidian eyes coming up to meet yours, “I would be lying to you.”

a/n: -screams into the void-

-M♡♡

[ephemeralem0tions]

So again, I’d have to be earlier than schedule because midterms are coming up and I don’t want to miss any prompt for LeviHan week! (Dedication yow!) But this chapter will be a continuation of the last prompt for fears/ phobias which you can check out here x, or the “part 1″ link below. You guys told me to make a continuation so here it is! I made it fit this week’s theme! Hope you guys like it!

Kiss of Death (LeviHan - Haunted)

Theme: Haunted, entry for LeviHan Spook Fest 2017, Ghost

Rating: PG

send your requests/anons here x

PART 1

“I just don’t understand Nana, I have already tried sleeping, and not sleeping with my lights turned off, but I never saw him again” she sighed, putting the half empty cup of coffee on the counter top. “Even still, it doesn’t feel like rest as I still feel anxious when  wake up. I want to see him, talk to him, know more things”

“It’s just your curiosity hun. Maybe days of no rest in research made you hallucinate” Nanaba on the other hand, can help it but feel disturbed for her friend.

“So I’ve been hallucinating since I was three? I don’t think so” she pointed out firmly, which only earned a disappointed look from Nanaba.

“You’ve been going on about this for a week now” the woman spoke gently. “I think you should really just give it a rest. Think about nothing”

“I’ll try” she replied, but the sadness evident in her voice and eyes. She knew, that she would want to see the ghost of the dark again. Something tells her that she is bound to him, that she should see him again.

“Take care okay? I’ll see you in work tomorrow” She just gave a small smile to her friend as she watched the blonde woman walk away from the café.

She was to walk home again, then find herself in the comfort of the dark in her flat. If before, she hated not seeing even the smallest form of light, now she couldn’t care any less. She goes in the room not turning the lights on, and sulks in her bed, not even bothering to eat or shower. She could not miss any moment that he would appear by her very eyes again. She would not miss the opportunity to get to know him, even if he was already somehow familiar to her blurry memoirs.

“Levi” she breathed out softly, bringing her knees to her chest on the soft mattress. Her eyes scanned the room for any sign of cold air, or movement, but then again, there was none. Her eyes slowly begged for her to shut them, feeling drowsy and tired. Soon enough, she succumbed to the darkness, one that would lull her to happiness in the most unexpected way.

“Oi four eyes!” her irises tried to adjust to the bright light as fast as she could. They met his cold grey one’s, and she couldn’t have been more happier. She wanted to see him, and he got it.

“Levi!” She rose up from her position, and noticed that she was laying on the grass covered ground, not her soft mattress. Either way, she pushed the thought away and gave him a tight hug.

“Shitty glasses! What has gotten into you?!” He groaned from under her tall stature as he tried to push her away, but she just chuckled and hugged him tighter, making sure he would not get away.

“I can’t believe I’m seeing you now! I’ve waited one week, three days, twenty-two hours and forty-six minutes to see you again” he looked at her in a sorrowful way. “I’ve been counting?” she responded, although her eyebrows meld in confusion, not understanding what he was looking at her so sad.

“Its hurting me” she released her grasp from him, thinking that it was the tightness of her hug. “Its hurting you too, look”

Then it dawned on her, the grass and daylight was not a happy setting. Pain suddenly shot up to her spine. He was missing an arm, and her right leg was broken. Blood surrounded the both of them, smeared on the greens around them. Larger limbs seemed to scatter from the distance, and giant silhouettes roaming around from the corner of her eyes. She stared at everything in horror, teras streaming from her eyes, but mouth dry and unable to speak.

“This is not the time for us. Not then, not now. Wake up Hanji, wake up” and with the final echoes of his words, she shot up at the original place she was from.

Beads of sweat trailed from her forehead as she frantically looked around her flat. It was peaceful, not a sign of disturbance or human eating giants, except for him, who lurked in the dark who stared at her with so much sadness from the corner.

Although her legs felt wobbly from the sight of broken bones in her nightmare, she stood up, and tried to reach him, but barely took a single step without falling to the floor. He emerged slowly towards her, and came closer.

“I cannot hold you close to me, even if I wanted to so badly. Just like before, it won’t only hurt me, but it will also hurt you” he breathed out, painfully, tears falling to the floor before fading, being the ghost he is. “I was selfish before, thinking I can actually save you while we fell in love in a cruel world. I had no regrets, but I hate it that you also died with me in the process”

“But isn’t it not truly loving if you aren’t hurting?” she croaked out. “I’d gladly be hurting if I will perish with you”

“But, I don’t want to see you fade away from my grasp ever again. You will die-“ she cut him off.

“Then so be it! If dying was is the only way to be with you, I’d suffer again and again, till we find our time and our place” she wasn’t sure where she got the strength to shout her words with dignity, but she knew it was right.

He contemplated, hesitation seen in his eyes, but with the sincerity he saw in her, he caved in.

“I could never really stop your stubbornness four eyes” he chuckled, sweeping away the stray hairs away from her face.

“And you will always still put others before your sake clean freak”

And in that moment, she embraced him, as tight as she could, slowly feeling the pain eating her up. It was a sorrowful but gleeful moment, that she knew he would find her no matter what universe they’d end up in. And in that moment, she embraced the kiss of death.

[rowdy-revenant]

Tall Tales and Short Stories

Pairing: Gabriel x reader

Words: 1300+

Summary: You manage to befriend the strange janitor at your college.

Based on the request by: @becca-boop1310​

Warnings: Bullying

A/N: My hiatus is over. Miss me?

[General masterlist]

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Nobody ever notices the people in the background. Nobody thanks the lunch lady for serving food, nobody asks the librarian how their day was, nobody ever says hello to the janitor. And that's exactly what Gabriel was counting on.

As the janitor of Crawford Hall University, the Trickster could go anywhere, listen in on anyone, and nobody would bat an eye. It was the perfect disguise, hiding in plain sight. Nobody would ever know, hell nobody would ever ask, who he was.

Except to keep up this cover, sometimes Gabriel actually had to do- ugh- work. He was an archangel, for crying out loud, and he was sweeping the floor!

Cafeteria duty always sucked the most. The mess hall looked like a hurricane had hit it once the students moved out. And dear dad, the jocks ate like there was no tomorrow and cleaned up like there was no trash can.

Today was no different. The students at the university were sitting at their tables of cliques, chattering on about midterms. Honestly, it was worse than high school.

The sounds of a tray clattering to the floor notified Gabriel that it was time to move out of the corner and do his dumb job. A student was on their hands and knees, grabbing items that had been spilled, and trying to put them back on the tray.

“Don’t worry, kid. I got it.” Gabriel assured you.

Reluctantly, you got up and out of the way. Some students were still snickering, pointing at the pasta sauce that now covered your shirt. You’d been walking when all of a sudden a foot appeared out of nowhere, sending you hurtling to the ground.

“You got two left feet, freak?” Curtis, the head jock and Crawford’s reigning asshole, guffawed.

“I don’t see why that would be a problem. I mean, you’re on the football team.” You sassed.

Curtis clenched his fists with anger, but you ignored him. Gabriel tried to hide a smile at your perfect comeback.

You smiled at the janitor once he’d cleaned up. “Thank you.” You said, quietly.

The man smiled. “Hey, just doing my job.”

Back to being wallpaper, it was, to the both of you, not that you minded. While Gabriel used it as a disguise, you used it as protection. It meant fewer people to bother you, fewer people to use you as a punchline.

Curtis turned back to his friends, immediately forgetting you existed. “You hear about the professor?”

“I heard he tried to get tail and got murdered.” One of his friends retold.

The jock snorted. “No way. He just took a nosedive from his office.”

Ah, so the news was spreading. Gabriel felt a little pride that his work hadn’t gone unnoticed. But at the same time, this might attract unwanted attention.

“You think it’s the ghost of room 669?” A girl piped up.

“Ghosts? God, you’re starting to talk like the weirdo.” Curtis scoffed, looking in your direction. “Like seriously, I’d rather slow dance with an alien than read one of their dumb stories.”

Gabriel crossed his arms. This pledge master had a reputation for being a bully. You stood up to him, which Gabriel admired, but it didn’t look like Curtis would change. He’d just made his way onto the trickster’s list of targets.

Was it dangerous? Yes. Did it only make the pair of hunters that had recently arrived more suspicious? Yes. But was making Curtis think he’d been abducted by aliens, probed, and forced to slow dance worth it? Hell. Yes.

The rumour spread around campus like the plague in medieval England. People were talking about the pledge master who’d been rambling on about aliens like a madman.

It felt like poetic justice to you. You were glad to finally have some peace. Even more, it would make a great short story.

It was time to head home. Most had already left the campus. You liked this little bit of time. Just you and your thoughts.

“Hey, hold the door!”

Well, you, your thoughts, and the janitor. You stopped the door you exited out of before it could close and pulled it back open.

The janitor, hands full of boxes, walked through. “Thanks, sugar. Guess who put off moving supplies? Now an entire wing is out of toilet paper.”

You laughed. “Here, let me help you.”

His eyes peeked over the mountain of boxes and you could see his brow furrow. “You sure? It's pretty late.”

“It's fine, I live pretty close. I don't mind helping.” You replied.

“I'd offer you a hand, but…” The janitor said, causing you to laugh again. “My name's Gabriel.”

It had been over a thousand years since he said that. Over a thousand years since he had used his real name. He could have told you anything. Loki, Griffin, Sam, Richard, all past aliases. Yet somehow, he trusted you enough to say 'Gabriel'.

“Nice to meet you, Gabriel,” You said, taking a box from the top of the pile and carrying in your arms. “I'm Y/N.”

“Y/N, yeah! I've seen you around campus. Always with a notebook. You a creative writing major?”

“Yeah. I want to be an author in the future.” You confessed. “Don't think I ever will be, though.”

“What? No way!” Gabriel exclaimed. “I bet you're an awesome writer. Tell you what, we meet up for coffee tomorrow and you read me something from your notebook.”

“What? No! My stories are-”

“Erotic?” Gabriel asked with a smirk.

You tried not to laugh. “No! I was going to say horrible. Besides, what would I get out of it?”

“A free coffee and seeing me out of uniform?” Gabriel said, wiggling his brow.

“Okay, okay. I guess I need a beta reader anyway.” You complied.

“Awesome,” Gabe said, setting the boxes in his arms on the ground and taking one from you. “It's a date.”

You smiled and walked off, Gabriel was glad you finally started to talk to him. You may not have been popular, but you didn’t care. You fought back.

A cowardly archangel had to admire that.

You jogged into the small coffee shop, the aroma of ground beans hitting you right away. Your eyes scanned the room, searching for Gabriel.

The college janitor was sitting at a table in the corner, one hand holding a tabloid, the other stirring a whipped-cream covered hot chocolate monstrosity with a teaspoon.

“Sewer gators?” You asked, the faint hint of exhaustion in your voice.

“Crazy what people will believe, huh?” Gabriel replied with a grin. “Glad you can make it, Cupcake.”

You sat down, taking off your shoulder bag and placing it on the floor. “Sorry I’m late, I slept in.” You sighed.

“Not a problem. Want me to get you something? It’s on me.” Gabriel offered.

“Oh, I can’t-”

“Relax, sugar. It’s the least I can do.”

Finally, you complied, giving Gabriel your order. As he walked off to the counter, you couldn’t help but stare a little. He looked good in casual wear, especially from behind.

“So, how long have you been working at Crawford Hall?” You asked once Gabriel sat back down.

“Six years.” He replied. “Might quit soon.”

“Oh.” Your face fell. “Why?”

Gabriel couldn’t exactly say ‘because there are hunters on my trail and I’m not in the mood to get a stake through the chest.’

“Just have better things to do, I guess.” Was the excuse. Not a lie, just not the full truth.

“I can understand that.” You sympathised. “I’ll miss you.”

Gabriel grinned, tapping his fingers gently on the table top. “Aww, you care about me. I’ll miss you too.”

You smiled, hoping your cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. You took your laptop out and placed it on the table, turning it on. “You sure you want to read my stories?” You asked.

“More than anything,” Gabriel replied.

Suddenly being a janitor didn't seem like the worst thing in the world to Gabriel.

~ Murdoch’s tag list - want to be added or removed? Send me an ask! ~

All fics: @alexanderhamlinsin @a-r-c-h-a-n-g-e-l @ashiewesker @ashtheironbat @authoressskr @baritonechick @blessedbebucky @crowleysprincess159 @cynda-kiwi @d4rzill4@eileenlikesyou-maybe @ellienovak @fayemenelmir @feelmyroarrrr @gabriels-depressed-angel @hiswickedkitty @hunters-hiraeth @kristaparadowski @lenawiinchester  @like-gabriel-and-castiel @madelineannmolder  @negansgrimes  @oldpaperfan  @sdavid09 @shrimpdrake @sumara62 @team-barry @thehowling1234 @thewhiterabbit42 @treitike@tenderlybeautifulbarbarian @tyrex15 @unsink-the-titanic

Gabriel: @elven-leaf @hiddles-and-skittles @hp-hogwartsexpress @im-gabriels-bitch @jannalionheart @elenawrit

[the-everqueen]

a long long time ago, i promised @stellerssong camping fic. here it finally is, with much love: 4k of wolf shenanigans and me dragging the founders. this is titled “werewolf gimmick” in my docs, but has very little to do with the tmg song - mostly i just found the dichotomy hilarious.

Thanks to general panic over midterms in the class he TAs, John gets home late that evening. Alex doesn’t jump to greet him like usual: he’s on the couch, eyes glued to his laptop screen, claws tapping at the keys. John toes off his shoes and sets down his backpack. “Have you moved at all since I left?”

“Mm?” Alex flicks an ear. “Oh. Yeah, we’re out of bologna.”

“And cheese.” John rummages around in the fridge for the salmon he’d set to marinate that morning. He has brussel sprouts he could roast, but that takes so long. Maybe he’ll make a salad instead. “Hey, Alex, would you eat kale?”

“Depends. Is there bacon in it?”

So, no. John takes out the greens anyway; he can have the leftovers for lunch tomorrow. The salmon just needs a quick sear, and he boils some minute rice. Fast, simple, nutritious: the kind of dinner he learned to make in his undergrad and thought he’d never have to cook again. Back before the — before Alex was a werewolf, John might have asked him to make quesadillas or breakfast for dinner, the two meals he could be guaranteed to not burn. But last week Alex tried to cook pancakes as a surprise and ended up eating a dozen raw eggs in the process. John found him licking the remains of the last one off the counter.

Alex is now exempt from kitchen-related chores.

John hands him a plate, sans kale. There are some battles even he won’t fight. “How’s the article coming?”

“Got another round of edits.” Alex snaps up a bite of salmon, not bothering with utensils. “I might be able to finish it tonight. Already started on the next project — the editor said she’s looking for a piece for December.”

“You’ve been working really hard.”

Alex snorts. “Yeah, well. Gotta make up for those full moons.”

“That’s one day a month.”

He nibbles at the rice, swallows down another piece of salmon. John waits for further argument, but Alex stares into space, thinking about his edits or maybe the neighbor’s cat. Ever since he got that piece published in Fast Company, he’s been writing non-stop, aiming for something bigger or more permanent. John is glad he’s recovered his sense of purpose — Alex, listless on the couch, eyes dull as he watches Cesar Millan videos, should be an aberration, not the norm. But then John is starting to think Alex is going too far in the other direction: working every second he’s awake, like he has to be productive or else he isn’t worth anything. He has bags under his eyes that aren’t just patches of dark fur growing on his face.

Last semester was — well, there isn’t a word to summarize it. Alex getting bitten, Alex dropping out of school, Alex changing in so many ways, obvious and subtle, all of them uncanny valley familiar. He deserves a break, a real one, a chance to not worry about looking human and just be able to relax.

A vacation.

John takes their plates to the sink. Alex has licked his dish clean and returned to his article, ears perked at attention. His laptop is perched on the arm of the couch, his hips twisted to the side to accommodate his tail, which thumps in time to whatever’s going on inside his brain. John grabs his own computer and shoots a quick message to Harrison: you have a tent, yeah? could i borrow it?

***

“We’re going camping,” John announces over breakfast.

Alex wrinkles his nose. “Like, today? Don’t you have class?”

“No, not today. This weekend.”

“This weekend.”

“Yeah.”

“Full moon.”

“Yes?” Alex is giving him a blank look, and John presses on. “You finished your edits, and you won’t have thumbs. I booked the campsite, Harrison is loaning me his tent. I just thought —  you’ve been working so hard, and you deserve a break, and we haven’t done anything special since, well. You know.”

“Since the bite.”

“Yeah.”

Alex picks at the cleft in his lip. At this point in the cycle he doesn’t have much that could be called eyebrows, since his face is mostly dark fur, but the tawny spots on his brow ridges draw together in something like confusion. “So you thought camping?”

“I can’t exactly take a wolf to the spa. Besides, you could use a change of scenery.”

Alex shrugs. “You’ve seen one tree, you’ve seen them all.”

“That’s not even remotely true.”

“Which one of us is the naturalist here?”

“I’m going to vet school, Alex.”

“Yeah you are.” His mouth falls into what’s probably intended to be a salacious grin but instead looks very canine, his long tongue hanging over his teeth.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m dating a future doctor!”

John rolls his eyes. Swallowing down the last of his tea, he wraps his arms around Alex and buries his face in the fur poking above the collar of his hoodie. “I heard he even makes house calls,” he murmurs.

“Now who has the bad lines?” Alex asks. But he shivers as John presses a kiss to the side of his face, and his tail thwacks against John’s leg. “I’ve never been camping.”

“You never — oh.” He knows bits and pieces about Alex’s childhood, collected from hints dropped like breadcrumbs, but he feels stupid that this is the first time he’s realizing Alex probably didn’t have annual family vacations as a kid. “Well, I can do the setup and teardown myself, so that’s not a problem. Maybe you can catch dinner?”

“Oh yeah, cause I do that all the time.”

“You caught that squirrel.”

Alex shoots a doleful glance at the faded stain on the living room carpet. Two months later, and John still hasn’t managed to scrub out the evidence of Alex’s anniversary present. Who would have thought squirrel guts would be the Achilles’ heel to every cleaning product on the market?

One ear perks and the other tilts down in an expression John has come to understand as extreme skepticism. Alex says, “Let’s hope your surprise turns out better than mine did.”

***

Alex might be dubious about the concept of vacation, but that doesn’t keep him from howling along to Lorde as they drive down the interstate. Not quite in tune, though he makes up for it with enthusiasm. According to his phone, it’s a five-hour drive to the camp, and since Alex can’t pass the time with an extended rant, John has Pandora and a half dozen chew toys to keep him occupied. Alex “sings” along to the techno-pop, prods John into telling him about the latest gossip in the animal husbandry department, and manages to wrestle the squeaker out of his stuffed turtle — all in the span of an hour. Hour two, a Prius rides next to them for a couple miles, a grinning pit bull in the backseat, and Alex goes wild, barking and clawing at the door. When the car pulls ahead, he grumbles.

John takes pity on him and rolls down the window.

Alex sticks his head outside, face breaking into a canine grin. His tongue lolls and flaps in the breeze, and he laughs, an incongruous human sound.

“Having fun there?” John asks.

His tail thumps on the center console.

***

It’s afternoon when they get to the campground, their arrival delayed by a quick lunch stop. Alex has thumbs enough to open the door, but his hips have given up on being bipedal and he clambers out of the car on all fours, still wearing his Columbia hoodie. John hauls out his backpack, the tent, and the cooler. “Ready?”

Alex paws at the cooler and whines.

“It’s fine, I got it.” John hefts the gear for emphasis. “See? Marta used to make me carry her shit on vacations. Dad always sided with her, too, said I had to be a gentleman. Like she didn’t scare half the boys at school with her left hook.”

Alex snickers.

Workout benefits of being the packhorse aside, John is glad their campsite isn’t far from the parking area. He dumps their gear in the center of the cleared ground and rolls his shoulders, looking around. The weather forecast predicted a warm weekend, but cold nights in the mountains, meaning the fire pit should be useful for more than just roasting marshmallows. Through the trees, their neighbor’s tent is visible — must be a family, he can hear kids shrieking and laughing. Alex’s ears swivel in the direction of the sound.

“You can explore, if you want. I gotta set up the tent.”

He cocks his head.

“You won’t get lost, you can — I dunno — smell your way back? Just don’t go too far. Also maybe take off the hoodie.”

Alex wriggles out of his sweatshirt, with some help from John. Shakes out his fur. It’s not quite full moon, but close enough that Alex passes for some sort of wolf-dog hybrid. Only John would recognize that his thumbs haven’t yet receded into dewclaws, or what the awkward slope of his shoulders means.

Alex scratches at his belly with his hind foot.

“Oh, wait —” John digs around in his backpack until he finds the leather collar. The tags jangle as he fastens it around Alex’s neck, and his boyfriend makes a disgruntled sound. “There. Looks like you belong to someone.”

A warning growl.

“Well, you’re mine, aren’t you? Don’t want you getting picked up by some cute park ranger.”

Alex swipes a lick across John’s cheek and goes bounding into the trees.

Turns out pitching a tent is not like riding a bike — it’s been years since John went camping, and he had at least one other person to help him. He wrestles with one stubborn corner, grateful that Alex isn’t here to watch and laugh at him. By the time he rolls out the sleeping bags and stashes their gear, he’s sweating and the sun has crawled closer to the horizon.

Childish screams alternate with a familiar bark. John wanders over to their neighbor’s campsite and finds Alex playing with two little kids, sisters if their matching shirts and corkscrew curls are any indication. The younger one toddles after Alex, her arms outstretched, and he lopes just out of reach, reverses to dodge the older girl. His tail wags.

“Nice dog, is he yours?”

John turns to the couple sitting in fold-out chairs, watching the kids. “Yeah. I’m John, we’re —” he gestures back at the trees “— right next door.”

“Mattie,” the woman says, holding out her hand. “This is my husband, Thom.”

The man gives John a considering look. “What brings you out here?”

“Well, uh, it’s spring break.”

“You’re a student?”

“Grad student. Vet school.”

Thom nods. “So you like the outdoors.”

“Yeah. And Alex needs a lot of exercise.” John glances at his boyfriend, who’s getting belly rubs from the girls.

“I didn’t think wolf-hybrids were a thing in California,” Mattie says, not accusing, just curious.

“He’s not — we don’t know what breed he is? Got him at the local shelter.”

“Well-trained,” Thom observes.

“Ha. Well. You should see what he did to the couch. But he likes kids.”

“I’ve heard larger breeds tend to be really social.” Mattie adjusts her sunglasses. “We were thinking of getting a pet, since the girls have been asking. But I’m not sure how much time I can afford to train a dog when I can’t even get this one here to make the bed.” She swats playfully at her husband. “I swear, he gets up at six in the morning just to get out of fixing the sheets.”

“I’m checking the temperature!”

“You’re a philosophy professor.”

“Global warming is a real issue that affects us all.”

She rolls her eyes. “See? No help.”

“Pet ownership is a serious commitment,” John says, relieved to have the conversation move away from the subject of his boyfriend. “You wouldn’t believe how many animals we get at the shelter because someone didn’t realize their cute little puppy would grow into a bigger dog.”

From there the talk revolves around hypoallergenic dogs and finding a reputable breeder. At some point Alex wanders over, panting. He rubs his face on John’s leg, and John pets the tawny spot between his eyes. “Hey, ba — boy.”

Alex snorts.

Thom gives them a funny look.

John blushes and opens his mouth to — explain? deny that he’s dating his dog? — but the girls choose that moment to interrupt, the younger climbing into Mattie’s lap and burying her face in her stomach.

“Oh dear, someone needs a nap.” Mattie pats her back soothingly. “Thom, you want to get her blankie out?”

That’s their cue to leave. John pats Alex’s side. “We should go. Those hot dogs I brought won’t cook themselves.”

“Sure,” Thom says. “We’ll see you around.”

At least Alex holds in his (suspiciously human sounding) laughter until after they get to their tent.

***

“Alex, no — drop it!”

John grabs for him and Alex dodges, running to the other end of the campsite, the bag of marshmallows dangling from his teeth. He drops it, not for John, but to paw at the hole cut into one corner, trying to make it wider. Sugar smell, want want want. He bites at the opening and manages to snag one marshmallow before John snatches the bag from him.

“These are for s’mores,” he says, exasperated.

Alex grumbles. What’s the difference? They’re going to be eaten regardless, and Alex can’t have chocolate. Graham crackers are bland and not made for people whose canines evolved to better tear apart flesh and bones.

“We’re gonna toast them.” Oh, of course, that human fascination with cooking food. John continues, “Besides, you can’t be hungry, you ate an entire package of hot dogs.”

Like that’s ever stopped Alex from going through the trash. He whines, giving his best pout.

“Nope. That’s not working.”

He gets down on his belly and rolls over.

“You can wait the literal two minutes it’ll take to brown these.”

Fine. He slinks over to where he abandoned his book and lays down with a huff.

Three minutes later, he’s licking gooey marshmallow off John’s lips.

***

John has a hike planned the next morning. Nothing too long — Alex might have better stamina than him, but he hates exercise as much as he did when he was human, fetch and the occasional game of “chase me around the living room” being the exceptions. But it’s cool and green out, and Alex preens at the attention from other hikers, and when they reach the end of the trail there’s a waterfall.

Alex jumps onto a flat rock and tilts his face toward the spray. His whiskers twitch, eyelashes fluttering and collecting little droplets. John sits down next to him, shrugging off the backpack. “Having fun there?”

He wags his tail. Then his expression turns considering. John has just enough time to register his boyfriend tensing before Alex leaps into the water with a terrific splash.

Since the bite, Alex hasn’t been a big fan of baths, but he likes water — at least, more than he seemed to as a human. He paddles around for ten or so minutes before he climbs back onto the rock and shakes out his fur. John grimaces at the drops that spatter his face and shirt. Their tent is going to smell like wet dog tonight.

As if reading his mind, Alex flops into his lap, rubbing his muzzle on John’s cargo shorts. He looks up, fur sticking out in wet spikes. John bursts out laughing.

“I brought peanut butter bars,” he says. “Eliza gave me her recipe. I might’ve left them in the oven too long, though.”

Alex snuffles at the backpack, tail frisking.

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

***

The thing about the outdoors is, it gets dark sooner than in the cities. Not that Alex really cares about the dark: his night vision is good enough he could read by the full moon light (theoretically, if his eyesight wasn’t fucked for small type and the Roman alphabet), and he usually goes to bed around midnight even when he’s not working on a project. But John is human, and worn out from their day of hiking and swimming and playing tug-of-war with his shirt; once the fire dies down and the stars come out, he crawls into his sleeping bag and promptly falls asleep.

Alex turns in a circle, settles down on his blanket. Waits. John’s breathing is deep and even. Soothing, in the general mate is content, mate is safe sense, but it’s not getting Alex any closer to rest. He crosses his paws, flicks an ear. Outside the tent crickets chirp, an owl hoots. Something rustles through the underbrush.

That gets his attention. He lifts his nose, scents the air. Musk smell, animal smell. His mouth waters. A twig snaps in the distance. His ears perk and swivel. Big animal, close, sniff it out, run it down.

He glances at John. Mate is sleeping, mate won’t notice if Alex goes out for a quick hunt. He’ll be back soon, maybe bring a share of the kill with him.

Alex creeps out of the tent on silent paw pads.

***

The first thing John registers is that there’s something warm and wet on his face.

He forces his eyes open. There’s a dark blur in his vision; it takes a second for him to focus and realize it’s Alex’s muzzle. Alex noses at him again and whines. John sits up, blinking hard. “Babe? What’s wrong?”

Alex prances in place. The fur on his face is matted and slick, the rest of his coat disheveled. Where has he been? “Are you hurt? What happened?”

He grunts and bounds out of the tent. John follows in his t-shirt and boxers.

Outside, Alex has picked up a large, misshapen stick. No, not a stick — he lopes toward John with the thing in his mouth, and it’s not a stick, it’s a leg, it’s a fucking deer leg, the hoof still intact, and Alex shoves it at him.

John stumbles back with a yell. “What the FUCK?”

Alex pauses, his tail curling between his legs in confusion. He whines around the mouthful of animal carcass; he hasn’t dropped the leg, and his teeth glint in the moonlight.

“What the — where did you even find that?” Alex huffs, and John feels his stomach swoop. “You killed a deer? What the fuck, Alex? How —”

“HEY, what’s going on?”

A bright beam of light cuts across the campsite. John raises a hand to his eyes.

“Excuse me,” the woman says. She’s wearing a khaki uniform and a green jacket with RANGER in bold letters on the side. She aims her flashlight at them, and Alex cringes, moving closer to John. “Would you like to explain what happened?”

“Uh…” John brushes a stray curl out of his eyes. His hand comes away dark, and he realizes the wetness on his face is blood. Shit, he must look like a mess. What is a park ranger doing out here this late? Did the neighbors hear them and call someone? Or maybe she’s on patrol? John didn’t think park rangers did night patrols.

“Sir.”

“Sorry, ma’am.” John gives her the most charming smile he can muster. “My, um. My dog — I guess he found some dead animal. Just, startled me, is all.”

“This is your dog?” The ranger frowns.

“Yes, ma’am.”

She shoots him a Look. “You know wolfdogs are illegal in the state of California.”

“He’s licensed. And — uh, I got him at a shelter? I think he’s a shepherd mix.”

“Uh-huh.” She turns her light on Alex. He drops the deer leg and licks his lips, folding his ears down submissively. He looks at her with wide, sincere eyes. Her face softens.

John interrupts, “Yeah, so. Are we good here?”

“You said he found it?” The ranger glances dubiously at the leg on the ground, mostly intact and smeared with fresh blood. Alex inches closer and butts his head against her thigh with a whine. “Hey, boy,” she says, holding out her fingers for him to sniff. “Well, out-of-season hunting results in a fine. But, since you weren’t hunting… I suppose I can let you off with a warning. Just this once.”

John sighs, relieved.

“But make sure you keep…”

“Alex. His name’s Alex.”

“... Right. Keep Alex from wandering beyond the campsite without supervision. There’s bears and wolves around here, you know.”

Alex coughs. John glares at him.

“Oh, and make sure to get rid of that.” She points at the deer leg with her boot. Grimaces. “You don’t want to attract scavengers.”

“Sure thing.”

“If you want, I could…”

Alex grabs his prize by the ankle, tenses like a puppy ready to dash off with its newest toy.

“I think we can handle it,” John says.

“Then you boys have a good night.” She waggles her fingers at Alex. He frisks his tail.

John waits until he hears her driving off to address Alex. “Did you really have to do the whole puppy eyes thing?”

He snorts.

“Yeah, thanks for getting us out of a fine. You wanna get rid of that thing?”

Alex slaps his paws on the ground.

“No, no, I don’t want to play with it.”

He runs a few feet, dragging the leg with him. John sighs. Moves to rub his face, remembers the blood, thinks better of it. “Fine. Just… bury it, at least? Don’t bring it in the tent.”

Alex trots off to the other side of the campsite and settles down, gripping the leg between his paws so he can better gnaw on the protruding bone. John climbs back into the tent, puts the pillow over his head to muffle the sounds of his boyfriend eating a deer’s leg. At least he’s enjoying himself.

***

One perk of dating a werewolf is that John never wakes up cold.

Sometime during the night, Alex wormed into his unzipped sleeping bag and laid down next to him. His face is buried in John’s chest, and he makes little grunts and whuffs as he sleeps, ears flicking. John rubs the velvet fur of one ear between his fingers — it’s damp but not tacky with dried blood. Alex must’ve washed off after he finished his snack. John feels a warm flush of affection, despite the unsexy smell of wet dog. He presses a kiss to his head.

Alex stirs and squints at him.

“I was thinking we could go for another long hike,” John whispers, “but maybe we’ll just sleep in? I can cook sausage for breakfast.”

Alex closes his eyes and snuggles closer.

***

“Y’all leaving?”

John shoves his sleeping bag into the backpack. “Yeah, I have to TA a class tomorrow and I still need to finish grading their midterms.” Also Alex is starting to get his thumbs back and twisted the lid off the tea thermos this morning, but it’s not like John can mention that.

Thom laughs. “Just give ‘em all a B-minus.”

“Well, it’s a lab-based class, so it’s kind of important they can do the math.”

He waves a hand. “Grades are just an artificial metric for determining whether students grasp the basic concepts.”

Yeah, and John doesn’t think Ethan realizes he solved question thirteen with the formula for quadratic equations, which has nothing to do with the test. At least Ethan is a double-major; maybe he’s better at bassoon performance.

“Are you teaching this semester?” he asks.

“Nah, on sabbatical. Supposed to be finishing a book on Voltaire, but…” He makes a vague gesture. “My best work is more last-minute. Besides, I want the girls growing up in the outdoors, you know? Our lives are so industrialized these days. Is your dog reading a book?”

John glances over his shoulder. Alex snaps his copy of Gibbons shut with a guilty look.

“Oh. Um. He must’ve… gotten it out of my stuff.”

“Huh.” Thom stares at him for a moment, then shrugs. “Well, the girls will miss him. He’s a good dog. Seems real clever.”

“He is,” John says, a bit too enthusiastically. “Erm. I have some stuff for s’mores left over, if you and Mattie want a treat for the girls? I can’t eat it all myself.”

“Sure.” Thom accepts the half-full bag of marshmallows as well as the uneaten graham crackers and chocolate bars. “I’ll tell them you said bye. Gotta extend the nap for as long as possible — I can’t believe Mattie got them to lie down in the first place, their schedules have been out the window this vacation. You should swing by the philosophy department sometime. Bring the dog, I’m sure he’d have more to say on Foucault than my upperclassmen.”

“I’m… certain he would.”

Alex barks in agreement. John tries to imagine a class discussion on French philosophers being led by an opinionated werewolf.

“There you go, open-invite. Where’s the place you work? The girls are gonna want a dog after this weekend, might as well go local.”

John gives him the name of the shelter.

“You boys have a safe drive.”

***

Hour three of the ride back, John makes Alex drive, claiming he’s too tired to focus on the road. Alex thinks that’s a weak excuse for poor night vision, but since John organized the trip and loaded their gear into the car, he supposes he can do this thing. Even if he doesn’t particularly like driving anymore: his new chase impulse means he’s tense behind the wheel, ears swiveling every time a car zooms past. His paw pads don’t get much traction on the gas pedal, either, so he cruises just above the speed limit.

A compact car pulls alongside him. The driver taps on their horn — probably wants to flip him off, the asshole, he’s trying his best here, it’s not his fault he can’t wear shoes —

He sneaks a glance. The woman behind the wheel gapes, slack-jawed.

John mumbles, sinks down so his face is buried in his sweater. Alex returns his focus to the road. Warm, pleasant feeling inside him: he and his boyfriend had a romantic weekend, and it wasn’t even new moon.

He drives them home.

[cosmosogler]

it’s already tennnnnnnnnnnnn

i uh. am still very burnt out. worse than yesterday. i feel dumb. like my head is a bucket full of goop. silly putty.

i woke up kind of on time. i felt very, strange when i woke up. i felt like i knew exactly what to do. but what i knew to do i don’t know. i went back to sleep for ten minutes. my arm’s got what seems like an irritated patch. i was thinking road rash, but looking that up, it’s not that severe. but it’s been bothering me. it’s near my wrist where i used to hurt myself a lot. i don’t any more, but the skin still gets irritated pretty easy i guess.

anyway, i went in and taught my class. after that my brain died. i took my office hour to mostly have a lunch break and only spent a half hour (out of the 50 minutes) grading. i also helped out the students a little bit. my tuesday office hour is in the practice lab so i get students coming by to practice for their lab sessions sometimes.

after that i spent just over two hours grading i think... i got a section done? i think? i don’t remember. and i filled out my paperwork for next semester with the registrar. as i was heading up to her office i was worried i would start crying if i sat down. i didn’t but it sure felt like i was gonna. after that i went to coffee cookie hour with jennica and taylor and luis and rebika. i gave rebika so much sass that she left though. i felt kinda bad but i joked that i couldn’t tease her if she wasn’t around. i was a little nicer to her after that except when she asked me a really rude question before i left for the night. i’ll get to that.

the undergrads had baked “trick” cookies and “treat” cookies as a special thing for halloween. i had one of both. and also a sugar bone.

oh i was wearing spider earrings today to be super spooky. and also my “Cool Dude” shirt because it is technically a costume and also because it makes me feel better about myself.

the “trick” cookie was baked with sriracha. i figured it out pretty fast. one of the professors commented on it later and i laughed and told him what kind of hot sauce it was.

the undergrad sam sat by me and luis and jennica again and started calling me cute repeatedly. i started getting kiiiinda tilted. 

“yeah, i’m super cute, i’m not an actual person with real feelings like sadness,” i grinned at her. 

she turned to luis. “she’s super cute when she gets mad and copies me,” she said to him.

“someday you’ll have to stop flirting with me to luis,” i told her. 

she laughed and said that was cute too. i think she is doing it to antagonize me. i am not sure why she is so fixated on such a belittling term, especially since we haven’t really had an actual conversation before.

i looked at jennica, who was dressed up as misty, and also sitting across the table from me. “which story should i tell her to get her to shut up?” i asked. 

“don’t,” she said.

“why not?” i leaned over to look at her phone.

she was all like, “because you’ll make ME sad.”

over the course of the day i had a lot of trouble having actual conversations though. i’d just perked up a bit because i had a cup of tea and mint tea cheers me up a little bit. talking to harrison was a huge slog. not because he’s hard to talk to, but because i couldn’t hold on to a sentence long enough to finish it.

he was super tired too. apparently this is the worst classical homework assignment we’ve ever had, and i still haven’t started on it. quantum’s due tomorrow too and i haven’t started on that either. but we hung out and talked for like an hour from 4 to 5. after that i got settled back in and worked on grading until after 7:30.

at some point i sent an email out to my professors and supervisor at danielle’s request. i’d asked her for help with communicating to my professors that i am really not feeling good and haven’t been for several days and i just haven’t gotten around to doing the homework. she said to email them and cc her so they could ask her questions if needed. so i did that.

i finished another section... i have finished 6, and have 3 left. harrison and suzanne have said that grading this last one is a nightmare but so few people finish that you can kinda just not worry about the last page or two. so that’ll cut down my grading time at least. and i already have a rubric made. 

the last 45 minutes i spent entering my grades into the database. so even if i haven’t finished ALL my work, i have my grade book on the school network up to date with attendance and elearning quiz scores and the 2 labs that i’ve finished grading. so all that’s left for the midterm scores is that last lab. that’s like 3/4 of the things i needed to have uploaded by the end of today... right?

as i was packing up to leave for the evening at 7:40 because i was too exhausted to continue, rebika came into my office looking for something on jennica’s desk. 

i’ve been working in my office instead of suzanne’s the last few days. it’s quieter and cooler so i can wear my sweater. the other office is really warm because it’s crowded most of the time and also because luis is running like three computers at once. 

she asked if i finished the classical. i said no. she asked if i had finished the quantum due tomorrow. i got irritated and said no because i’ve been grading for five thousand years.

“what the f is wrong with you?” she asked. i didn’t look at her and i didn’t answer. 

i mean like, she didn’t literally say “f” she said the full word. i just don’t feel like typing it out.

she started talking again at some point but i wasn’t listening. i biked home and made tempeh tacos and they were super good and i figured out how to get the tempeh the way i like it again. 

then it was 8:45 so i just... i don’t know. talked with an internet friend i guess. watched some youtube videos. not sure how i passed an hour actually. oh, i cleaned snoopy’s litter box, that took a few minutes. taking a break doesn’t seem to be helping me feel any better. maybe a solid meal will help me feel better in the morning. i certainly feel full for like the first time in a week... i’m sad that i couldn’t hit that deadline. i won’t have much time to work on it tomorrow, unless like, i skip e&m, which, i can’t guarantee that i am dropping it yet. so skipping would be bad. but if i do end up dropping it i’m mostly just wasting my time right now going to a class i can’t pass anyway.

stuck.

i’m still having trouble concentrating and processing things that are happening around me. like i literally can’t focus any more even though i still need to keep going. biking is kinda rough like this. my attention to my surroundings limping along with giant holes in my peripheral vision and ability to register sounds.

it’s probably not as bad as i’m making it sound. i got home fine. i’m just not quite sure how, now that i am home.

i can feel myself getting sick. like a mild cold, but still not something i want to deal with. harrison seemed to think it might be allergies, and it could easily just be the sudden change in weather since the cold front blew in. but also, working 9-10 hours a day every day with no breaks is wearing down my gears. like i take breaks, and i try to eat healthy and get enough sleep and shower and take care of myself, but it’s just, it’s too much. the only fun thing i did only for me and only because i wanted to enjoy it was taking a bike ride out to gamestop on saturday to get the event pokemon. even playing smash with my classmates is like, with the intention of calming down for a scheduled 50 minutes so i can get back to work immediately. 

i try to do something like that once a week. going to poker night. riding out to gamestop, or the book convention. but it’s only a few hours out of the week. the rest of it i’m working on finances or restocking my apartment in order to live or doing homework hour after hour after hour. i would like just a day off with nothing to do except hang out with friends and do what i feel like. maybe listen to an episode of taz for the first time in a month and a half. i heard the new arc is good. but i don’t have ANY time to sit and listen to a 90-minute podcast.

maybe even... two days off? is that too much? that seems like too much. i feel like i’d get bored. even though i have like 25 tv shows i’d like to watch, and a short story i haven’t gotten to touch in a month, and stuff to do around town with my friends that we just haven’t been able to get to. hang out by the lake! go for a hike! i dunno, spend some time outside! it’s nice out!!

anyway my writing time is up. i will try not to stay up for an extra 45 minutes tonight. wish me luck i guess.

my classmates have started trying to cheer me up when they see me. i appreciate the gesture... i told them that even i just don’t know what would cheer me up though.

[chalantness]

fic: I’ll Save This Dance for You

Rating: NC-17 Word Count: ~7700 Characters: Steve/Natasha, background Sam/Sharon Prompt: "Just so you know, I would not say no to college AU art major Steve meets dance major Natasha and begs her to model for him. I'm just throwing that out there. With smut?" Summary: AU. She knows she shouldn't volunteer to spend the day with him when she's still trying to keep her attraction to him in check. But she wouldn't be a good friend if she didn't at least offer it, right?

For: bloodredmoon87

A/N: Rewrote this and tweaked the prompt a little to fit the civilian 'verse, because I came across it again from a while back and thought it would be a perfect "prequel" of sorts! So I hope you don't mind the changes.

Excerpt:

"It's alright. It's not a big deal." Steve shrugs. "I'm sure I can get one of the employees at the bakery or the coffeehouse to let me paint them."

Natasha licks her lips a little, plays with the straw in her smoothie. She knows she shouldn't volunteer to spend the day with him when she's still trying to keep her attraction to him in check, especially when they'll be alone. But she wouldn't be a good friend if she didn't at least offer it, right?

"You could paint me."

Steve blinks, raises his eyebrows a little. Natasha doesn't have to look over her shoulder to know that Sam and Sharon are grinning like idiots, so she ignores them.

He rubs his lips together, and there's a moment where Natasha thinks he's going to politely decline. He doesn't like people going through any trouble for him, even though she knows he'd go out of his way to do someone else a favor. She rolls her eyes. "I don't have to work at the bar tomorrow, and rehearsal is in the morning. Just meet me at the studio after."

He contemplates this for a moment longer, but then his mouth is curving into a smile, small but bright, and her stomach does this stupid little flip. "I'll treat you to lunch."

"Obviously," she says, and she swears she hears Sam snicker.

Read on: [ ffnet ] [ ao3 ]

Natasha doesn't really think twice about walking around her apartment in just a bra and panties. She has two roommates, yes, but one of them has been her best friend since grade school and has seen her naked more than enough of times by now, and the other is her best friend's boyfriend. It's pretty obvious that Sam is really, really into Sharon, and while he isn't above handing out compliments (he tells Natasha at least once a day that she's beautiful, and he means it, too) she knows it's not because he's a flirt or anything. He's just that charming, but he's in love with Sharon and would never even think about looking at anyone else. Natasha can tell these things. She wouldn't have agreed to him moving in otherwise.

So, no, walking out of the bathroom in just a towel after her shower when she knows Sam will probably be home isn't something she's worried about. She knows Sam isn't bothered by it, either, so it's fine.

She wasn't counting on Sam someone over, though.

"Shit. Sorry, sorry," someone blurts out, and Natasha spins around to find a pair of ridiculously bright blue eyes staring back at her. Steve, Sam's best friend. He's been over to their apartment before, of course, but usually Sam gives her a head's up when that happens.

"Hi." She sounds a little breathless, but, well. She wasn't counting on running into him when her towel is only loosely wrapped around her and already starting to slip. She crosses her arms in a gesture she hopes is a lot more discreet than it feels, holding her towel in place. If he notices the motion, he doesn't let it show, keeping his gaze steady on her face.

"What's wrong, man?" Sam asks, poking his head out of the kitchen, then raising his eyebrows when he sees Natasha. "Oh, hey. I didn't know you were home."

"Clearly." She shoots him a look. "I'm guessing you don't remember replying to my text about class being cancelled?"

"Vaguely," he answers with a wave of his hand. She almost rolls her eyes. Honestly, the guy can't ever remember anything he reads. "Sorry you almost walked in on her, Steve. I know how old-fashioned you are."

"Pretty sure I'm the one you should be apologizing to, ass," she points out. She's not actually upset, though, and he laughs because he knows it. It's not like she's not some kind of exhibitionist, but she's never been all that self-conscious about her body, either. Sam has walked in on her naked more than once even before moving in, which could've been a hell of a lot more awkward if Sam wasn't so nonchalant. Honestly, almost everything rolls right off the guy's shoulders, and she knows that's what attracted Sharon to him in the first place.

He snorts. "Oh, please. You'll love me again after I've fed you."

"Sam," Steve says in that amused yet exasperated tone he gets sometimes with Sam, but he's already poked his head back into the kitchen.

Natasha laughs. It's cute, this friendship of theirs. Sharon told her that they met because the housing department screwed up their dorm assignments, and Steve ended up rooming with Sam instead of his childhood best friend, Bucky, whom he requested. The three of them ended up on the same floor, though, and instead of requesting a switch, they just went along with it. Now they're all close, even if Sam and Bucky still act like they can't stand each other. That's what Sharon tells her, anyway. Natasha has only met Bucky once or twice, and it's funny because he looks like he'd be the shit disturber, but apparently that's Steve. Natasha can see it, though. The first time he'd quipped with her, she almost spit out her drink.

He's also a bit of a flirt. She wonders how much of that is him being unaware of his charm, and how much of it is her doing. Sharon's told her that she can come off suggestive.

"Sharon's on her way," Steve tells her, probably realizing he should explain what he's doing here, since obviously Sam hasn't said a word. "She breezed through her midterm and is feeling good about it, so she wanted to have lunch to celebrate. Sam's making steaks. We were going to save some for you for after your class," he adds with a dimpled grin.

Fuck. This thing where she gets the urge to kiss him really, really needs to stop. Especially when he's right there, close enough for her to touch…

"That probably means I should put on some clothes."

His lips quirk. "Yeah, because you look terrible right now," he tells her. He's teasing, she can tell, but his tone is low and almost serious. His gaze is still locked on hers, too, but there's a sparkle in his eyes that makes her stomach do this stupid little flip. She feels more exposed than if he'd just openly checked her out, and she doesn't entirely hate the feeling.

She turns around and heads for her room, glancing over her shoulder as she slips inside. He's still watching her – not like he's trying to catch a glimpse of something, but like he can't quite bring himself to stop – and her lips tug into a smile before she can get the door closed. Honestly, hanging out with Steve would be a hell of a lot easier if she wasn't so attracted to him. And, well, it actually is easy for her to hang out with him. Very easy, because he's funny and witty and reads her in a way she's never had with anyone that isn't Sharon. He's got all this confidence in himself, too, which is something that always comes off as sexy. But he's also humble and doesn't pat himself on the back for anything, even though he definitely can. Sam told her that he's breezing through his courses (well, as much as anyone can breeze through medical school) and already has a few offers for where he'll do his residency.

She's a dancer. Which she absolutely loves, and she doesn't regret it, but still. She won't be changing lives like Steve.

Besides, she doesn't do relationships. That's the real reason she's not trying to take things anywhere with Steve. He deserves someone who won't get bored when things get serious. She doesn't want to ruin their friendship over a fling, and she definitely doesn't want to risk it being this whole ordeal between her and Sam and Sharon if things don't work out.

So, yeah. She's hoping that this attraction to him will simmer down soon. It doesn't help that Sam always seems to have him over, though.

... ...

"Okay, I'm totally pissed at you."

Natasha just laughs at this, though, because Sharon is practically beaming right now, and her cheeks are totally pink from the margarita she's been sipping on since before they even started eating. (The girl can definitely hold her own when it comes to drinking, but one drop of alcohol and she gets flushed. It's kind of hilarious.) "What did I do?"

"It's more like what you didn't do. Or who, to be exact." Her smile turns smug. "I'm talking about Steve, in case it wasn't obvious."

"It was," Natasha says flatly, glancing over the girl's shoulder at where Sam and Steve are still cleaning up in the kitchen. They're too distracted at whatever they're laughing about to pay her and Sharon any attention, nor does she think they'd be able eavesdrop on them from the patio, but still. Sharon isn't exactly being discreet. "We've talked about this," Natasha reminds. Because of course Sharon picked up on Natasha's feeling, and the girl is all for it, though she bites her tongue because she knows how wary Natasha is about relationships.

But that doesn't stop her from nudging Natasha in that direction every now and then.

"I know," Sharon says, crossing one leg over the other as she leans back on the lounge chair. "But you can't expect me to watch you two flirt all of lunch and not say something."

"It wasn't all of lunch." Sharon arches an eyebrow. Natasha rolls her eyes. "He likes to flirt and so do I. It doesn't have to mean anything."

"If I believed that then I wouldn't be nagging you," Sharon says. Which, yes. Natasha knows this. The girl loves her too much to push for something if she genuinely thought Natasha was uncomfortable with it. "You know, everyone thought you were so badass when we were growing up. If only they could see how scared you are right now."

Natasha blinks. "Excuse me?"

"I'm just saying." Sharon grins. "I know relationships freak you out, but I've never seen you like this with anyone before. You shouldn't shy away from something that could be great."

Natasha shakes her head. "That's the first time anyone's ever accused me of being shy," she points out, and Sharon shrugs her shoulders cutely, flashing her teeth in a smile.

"Hope you ladies aren't laughing at us," Sam jokes as he and Steve step out onto the patio. It's getting warmer with summer around the corner, so it's gorgeous outside, but none of them actually felt like going out to enjoy the weather. It's hard to find time to just laze around now, you know? But it's fine. They'll have just as much fun lounging around together.

"I'm always laughing at you," Sharon quips, and Sam chuckles, squeezing himself onto her lounge chair before pulling her onto his lap.

Steve is holding a smoothie in each hand and Natasha isn't all that surprised when he passes one to her. She didn't ask for one, but she passed up on the margarita Sharon offered to make her because she was already feeling warm. That's another thing about Steve. He's kind of strangely attuned to her, and yeah, Natasha has that with Sharon, but that's different. They've known each other since they were kids. Steve has always just gotten her, from the first time they've ever hung out, and it's nice to have someone who knows what she wants.

"Thanks," she tells him, and he just shakes his head and sits in the chair next to her. "I'm surprised you didn't bring your paints up from your car. I know you love sunny days."

He grins. "Yeah, but Buck has the car today. Sam got me on his way to the store." He glances up at the sky, squinting against the sunlight. "I hope it's still bright like this tomorrow. I have to get a painting done for class and it'd be nice to have all this natural light to paint."

"What's the assignment this week?" she asks. Steve signed up for this art class at the senior center (and yeah, she and Sam teased the shit out of him about that) because he said he'd never make time for his art if he didn't schedule it in somehow, and this month has been about painting. It's kind of ridiculous for him to be in a class at all considering how skilled he already is. Hell, the community center asked him to head the mural that they painted in the fall and it's gorgeous. But she knows part of it is because he likes meeting new people.

"Life in motion," he answers with a bit of a laugh. "Basically I'm supposed to paint someone while they're working."

"I offered, but I don't think a sports bar is a great painting environment," Sharon chimes in. Sam sort of just shrugs. The guy is a physical therapist, and while she's sure some of his clients wouldn't mind being painted, she understands why Steve wouldn't think to ask. It's not as if he'd think to paint at the hospital he volunteers at, either.

"It's alright. It's not a big deal." Steve shrugs. "I'm sure I can get one of the employees at the bakery or the coffeehouse to let me paint them."

Natasha licks her lips a little, plays with the straw in her smoothie. She knows she shouldn't volunteer to spend the day with him when she's still trying to keep her attraction to him in check, especially when they'll be alone. But she wouldn't be a good friend if she didn't at least offer it, right?

"You could paint me."

Steve blinks, raises his eyebrows a little. Natasha doesn't have to look over her shoulder to know that Sam and Sharon are grinning like idiots, so she ignores them.

He rubs his lips together, and there's a moment where Natasha thinks he's going to politely decline. He doesn't like people going through any trouble for him, even though she knows he'd go out of his way to do someone else a favor. She rolls her eyes. "I don't have to work at the bar tomorrow, and rehearsal is in the morning. Just meet me at the studio after."

He contemplates this for a moment longer, but then his mouth is curving into a smile, small but bright, and her stomach does this stupid little flip. "I'll treat you to lunch."

"Obviously," she says, and she swears she hears Sam snicker.

... ...

She knew she had it bad for him. She didn't know that she had it this bad. Bad enough that catching a glimpse of him standing in the doorway is all it takes to make a warmth ripple over her already flushed skin. Then he gives her that dimpled, boyish grin of his, and it's easy to forget that she's sweaty and out of breath and aching down to her bones.

Fuck. She's so screwed.

"Hi," he says, glancing around the empty room. They'd just wrapped up rehearsals, and he'd probably passed a few of the other dancers on his way in. She watches as his eyes glance over the room slowly, deliberately, no doubt trying to commit every corner of the studio to memory. Then his gaze shifts back to hers and he grins. "You sure you're not too tired?" he asks as he shrugs his bag off of his shoulder and sets it down. "I mean, you won't have to dance the whole time, but you just finished rehearsing for two hours. I don't mind waiting."

She shakes her head. "I'll be fine if I do a slower routine. If I take a break now, I'll just get tired faster."

Steve nods at this, pulls out a bottled water from his backpack and hands it to her. "Just do your thing for a bit," he says as sits down. She twists the cap off of her water and takes a few gulps. "Pretend I'm not even here."

"I'm not posing?"

"No." He pulls his sketchbook into his lap and flips it open to a blank page, then pulls out a slim, metal case that he keeps his pencils in. She leans her arm against the barre as she watches him deliberate over which one to use. "I've never done it with much success, but the idea is that you're supposed to capture something in motion as organically as possible. So I was thinking that I could sketch you while you dance to get an idea of a pose and…" He trails off when he looks up at her, his lips tugging at the corners. "What's that smile for?"

She blinks. She hadn't realized she'd been smiling. "You get this wrinkle right here"—she leans down to smooth her thumb over the crease in his forehead, and then tries not to get distracted by the way his eyelashes flutter at her touch—"when you're concentrating." His smile widens a little more. "Clearly, you love your art."

He breathes out a bit of a laugh as he leans back against the mirrored wall. "Yeah. I didn't play as much when I was a kid because my health wasn't great. So art was my thing."

"Too much of a risk to make a career out of it?" She knows that could come off as judgmental, but she also knows that Steve wouldn't take it that way. Not from her.

"Nah." His expression softens, but his eyes are bright. "My mom's always been a nurse, and we'd get stopped around town by her patients all the time. They were always so happy to see her, and they'd tell me how much she changed their lives, even just by talking to her." He shrugs a shoulder. "I knew I wanted to help like she did, or at least get the chance to."

Natasha feels a warmth flutter in her chest. She'd always suspected that his mother was his reason for going into medical, but she kind of loves that he shared it with her, too.

Then his lips quirk at the corners, and there's a shift in his expression. "Art still comes in handy, though. I mean, in a few years from now, I'll get to say I painted a brilliant, beautiful dancer before she became famous. I'll have to get you to sign this."

She laughs as she pushes off of the barre, ignoring the stupid little flip her stomach does.

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Rogers."

He chuckles and shakes his head, and she heads over to the corner of the room set her phone up with the Bluetooth speakers. She scrolls through her dance playlist until she finds a song for the routine a few of them had performed as their final for last semester. She knows she isn't nervous. She wouldn't make it very far as a performer she couldn't dance for an audience of one. And she's comfortable with Steve, obviously. She really doesn't know why she feels vulnerable right now, but then she glances over her shoulder to find Steve looking at her, a smile on his face, and whatever brief wave of uneasiness she'd been feeling dissolves just like that. (Oh, she's definitely got it bad.) He nods at her, and she starts the song.

It's easy to lose herself when she's dancing. Yes, there's actually quite a lot of thought that goes into a routine – counts and cues and rhythms and hours of committing choreography to muscle memory – but when all is said and done, she doesn't really think at all when she's dancing. Not about the actual steps, at least. Her body does the motions on its own while the song is washing over her and sinking into her bones, reaching into these corners of her mind that she sometimes forgets are there. It's kind of a strange feeling, but she loves it.

She ends up with her back to him when the song fades out, and then she glances over her shoulder as her phone shifts to the next track.

He looks like… He looks like he's totally in awe.

His lips art parted ever so slightly, his eyes a little wide and totally bright, and there's that adorable little wrinkle in his forehead. She doesn't realize until this moment that he's never seen her dance before. It's so comfortable between them that it's easy to forget that she's only really known him for a handful of months, and she hasn't had a performance between then and now. Well, there was her final, and she did invite him to come with Sharon and Sam, but he was heading home that day and would've missed his flight. She didn't mind, of course, but now she feels a little glad that he wasn't able to watch. Because she kind of loves getting to see his reaction like this, so up close and personal, with no one else around.

"Nat," he says, and, okay, maybe she likes the fact that he sounds breathless a little too much. "That was incredible."

She presses her lips together from smiling too widely. Fuck, she feels like a freaking schoolgirl right now. It's ridiculous. "Thanks," she tells him. "Should I do it again?"

"You can, if you want. Or you can do another routine." He smiles. "Trust me, Nat, I won't have any trouble remembering how you look when you dance."

She turns her back to him before he can see her blush, though she could probably just blame it on the dancing. She rolls her shoulders back as she scrolls for another song. She can probably only keep this up for another few routines before her body finally gives out on her. Which is fine, because she'll have a few days to take it easy before her next rehearsal.

The next routine she runs through is a little slower and has a lot more emotion. She hasn't danced it in a year, so she scuffs the floor twice and sort of stumbles during a twirl, but it comes back easily enough. He's started sketching now, and yup, there's that little wrinkle in his forehead. She can see his hand moving swiftly over the page in the reflection of the mirror he's leaning against, though she can't quite make out what he's got so far. Then her phone shuffles to a track that she'd performed to last semester, so she does that routine. And her bun, which had already started to come undone from rehearsals, finally unravels in the middle of the song, and her hair is sort of falling in her face when she gets to the end.

"What?" she asks, because there's something in his eyes that she can't quite decipher.

"Nothing." She arches an eyebrow. He gives her this little grin. "Your hair looks really nice like that."

"Shut up. My hair is a wreck," she scoffs, running her fingers through the length of it. Something crossing his expression, too quick for her to catch, and then he's grinning at her again as he shrugs a shoulder. "Do you need to see more?"

His voice is soft when he answers, "Yes," without even glancing at what's on his page, and she feels her heart skip. Then he clears his throat, gives her a crooked smile. "I mean, no. You can stop if you're tired. I think I already know what I'll be painting." His smile softens. "But I just need to keep watching you dance. You're amazing, Nat."

Well, shit. Not once has anyone told her that they need to see her dance.

"Fine," she says, and she hopes her voice doesn't sound as giddy to him as it does to her. "Since flattery gets you everywhere."

She decides to do the piece they've been working on for the last month, since it's still fresh in her head from rehearsal, and she doesn't mind picking up the tempo a little bit. She'd thought she'd be too tired to do more than two or three routines, but she feels fine. It's different when you're performing rather than just rehearsing, though. She's always been told that it's strange for her to be a dancer when she's not that fond of attention, but honestly? She kind of loves it. She knows she's good, and that's not because she thinks so highly of herself. She's been dancing since she could walk, basically, and there's no way she would've kept up with the competition if she doubted herself. It's just how you have to be wired.

So, yeah. That look of awe that's been on Steve's face since she started? She just really wants to keep seeing it.

And she doesn't think twice, really, when the song comes to an end and her phone shuffles to another track. It's something she danced to at the beginning of the semester, so she just goes right into the routine. She doesn't realize until about ten counts in that the song is…

Well, it's a lot more sensual than the others. And obviously so is the dance.

She ends up facing Steve when she comes out of a turn, places a hand on her hip and slides it upward, and she watches as his eyes traces over her curves with the motion. Which is definitely the point to that move, and she didn't think twice about it the low whistles and the looks it drew when they'd performed in back in February.

She's definitely thinking about the look on Steve's face, though – the little flutter of his eyelashes, and the way his lips are just barely parted, and how dark and hazy his eyes are right now – and it makes a warmth flutter low in her stomach. Then her hand makes it into her hair and she combs her fingers through and he swallows lightly. She feels herself smile. The routine is barely three minutes long, but suddenly, that feels like way too much time, and she thinks that that's too many damn counts to go through before she can end it and—

And walk right up to Steve and kiss him, because he's looking at her like he wants to do it himself, and she thinks it's really, really stupid that she's trying to keep her distance.

She spins away, flips her hair over her shoulder and sort of rolls her hips into a bend, and her heart skips when she hears something – it sounds like his sketchbook – falling onto the floor. She goes through four more counts and then swivels back around, and suddenly he's walking up to her, standing right in front of her, and she comes to a stop as she meets his gaze. His eyes are the darkest, most vibrant shade of blue she's ever seen, and he's close enough that she can feel his breath come out in uneven puffs, like he's straining himself.

"Nat," he whispers, his voice sounding almost pained. It's something she'd normally poke fun at him about, but she can't quite catch her breath, either.

She leans in, blinks up at him, and he reaches out and slides one of his hands over her hip, his fingers flexing.

"Can I—" he starts, and she says his name in this sharp, little huff, and she swears she sees the corners of his lips twitch into a freaking smirk right before he's got both hands on her and he's kissing her. It's hot and hard and heavy, and he slides a hand up her back and presses her even closer, so that she sort of has to tip her head back to keep kissing him, and she makes this little noise when he nips at her lips. Then he pulls away so abruptly that she's actually a little disoriented, gripping onto his shirt with both hands as if to steady herself.

He presses his forehead against hers, squeezes her with the hand still on her hip. "Natasha, is this… Are we…?" He lets out a breath. "I'm not trying to doubt you, but is this—"

She laughs, because she's never heard him stumble over his words this much before, and brushes her lips over his. "Yes," she says, even though he didn't even form a proper question. It doesn't matter, though. The answer to anything he could've asked her is yes, she wants this, wants him, to be with him. She really, really does.

"Okay. Good." He traces the skin over the waistband of her yoga pants. She shivers lightly. "Let's get out of here?"

"Yes," she breathes, and he chuckles.

... ...

She honestly can't remember the short drive to her apartment. She knows they must've talked about Sam and Sharon, because he wouldn't have taken her home if they knew their friends would be walking in on them. But neither of them will be back until tonight, and it's the first time Natasha is actually glad that their schedules aren't overlapping.

And she knows it's ridiculous for her to care about it, but, fuck. She'd rehearsed for two hours and then performed five routines for him and she knows she must look a wreck.

"I'm gross," she mumbles against his lips, because he'd pulled her in and kissed her before she'd barely gotten the door locked behind them.

"You're beautiful," he replies easily, not missing a beat, and she doesn't hate at all how quick he is to compliment her. Especially because she knows he means it.

"No," she breathes out a laugh, tilting her head away so she can, you know, talk. "I'm all sweaty and I really need a shower."

He gives her that crooked grin of his, hums as he kisses her again, a little slower, a little deeper. He licks at the seam of her lips and she makes a noise from the back of her throat. "Whatever you want," he says, kissing her lips, and then the corner of her mouth, and then the apple of her cheek, until he's right next to her ear when he says, "I could join you."

She very nearly whimpers. Instead, she pushes her fingers into his hair and drags his lips back to hers, practically hisses, "You better," before kissing him again.

She's glad that he knows her apartment just as well as she does, because she's honestly not paying attention to anything other than his tongue pressing into her mouth as he guides them down the hallway and into the bathroom, locking the door (just in case). She reaches for the hem of her top and peels it off, and then almost jumps when he dips his head and presses a kiss to the flat of her stomach. He teases his tongue over every inch of skin he can reach, and she actually fumbles a little in her desperation to wiggle out of her sports bra.

He hooks his thumbs over the waistband of her yoga pants and kisses down her stomach as he peels her yoga pants down her thighs. He kisses lower, lower, and she actually has to lean back against the wall because she half expects her legs to give out on her.

"Steve," she breathes, and he skims his lips back up, pressing one last kiss between the dip of her breasts before pulling away.

His eyes trace over her, darker and stormier than ever. She knows she must look totally desperate, with her hair a mess and her skin flushed and her folds so slick that she can feel it on the inside of her thighs. But he has that look of awe on his face, like he did when they first kissed, like he did when he watched her dance, and she actually has the urge to giggle.

"Start the shower?" His voice is low and a little gravelly and so incredibly sexy. She leans up and gives him a quick kiss and he chuckles, gives her hip a squeeze.

She can hear him undressing as she twists the water on, and she glances over her shoulder and actually feels a pulse between her legs when she sees that he's stripped down to his briefs. She's seen him shirtless before when they've gone to the beach, but fuck. She feels a warmth unravel in her stomach at the sight of him every time. The fact that his briefs are teasing a hell of a lot more to her than his swim trunks ever did is probably helping things. She gnaws on her lower lip, gaze flicking up to his face in time to catch the way his eyes are damn near captivated with every inch of her bared skin. Then his gaze shifts to hers, and he gives her that boyish smile of his as he pushes his briefs off, letting them fall to the floor.

"Fuck," she breathes, because, seriously? "Are you kidding me?"

He knows that's supposed to be some kind of compliment coming from her, so he laughs, a bit of pink touching his cheeks as he walks over to her. She's trying not to stare, but you can't really blame her.

Then he grasps her chin with his fingers, tips her face back so that he can look into her eyes. "Hi," he says, almost a whisper.

She doesn't mean to giggle. He doesn't take it the wrong way, though, so it's fine. "Hi," she echoes, taking his hands in hers as she steps backwards into the shower, tugging him with her. She doesn't even flinch when the warm water hits her from the nozzle overhead. She's too focused on Steve to notice. "My water bill is going to be ridiculous this month."

"I'll split it with you," he says, and then steps her backwards until she feels the water wet her hair, spilling down her back and over her shoulders. She parts her lips in surprise, then parts them a little more in a moan that actually echoes off the walls when he dips forward and latches his lips onto her throat. He kisses her once, twice, tucks his fingers into her hair and starts gently massaging the warm water into her scalp as he sucks over her pulse. She whimpers, fumbling to hold onto him, to draw him closer, because fuck. That feels good.

"Steve," she breathes, scratching her nails down his chest. His muscles flex under her touch, his breath stuttering against the column of her throat.

She needs more.

"I know," he mumbles into her skin, but, shit. She hadn't realized she'd said that out loud. "I don't have a condom."

"I don't care," she says a little too eagerly for her own liking, but the pressure between her legs is driving her crazy. He pulls back a little, glances at her. Okay, maybe that had been the wrong thing to say. "I trust you," she amends, taking his face in her hands and kissing him. "And there are condoms in my bedroom if you really want to leave me—"

"Stop," he says on a laugh, kissing her again, once, twice, his hands sliding over her hips and squeezing. "Just this once?" She nods. (Because she is responsible, despite the fact that she'd just forgotten about protection entirely. Steve is a distracting person, okay?)

Then his lips are on hers again before she can blink, pinning her against the wall, and her lips part in a gasp at the cold tiles against her back. He slips his tongue in, presses it against hers, and she grips onto his hair tightly with one hand, digging her nails into the muscle of his shoulder with the other. He kisses her harder and heavier and a hell of a lot rougher than she'd ever anticipated. Not that she has any complaints, or is entirely surprised by it, honestly. She's always wondered if there was this side to him. She really likes that she was right.

She actually nips his lip in surprise when she feels him slide two fingers over her slick heat, stroking, teasing, as if she wasn't already turned on beyond comprehension.

"Steve," she almost whines, because he's circling her bundle of nerves and she swears she's starting to see stars.

"What?" He's playing innocent. She's almost positive of that. "Maybe I like touching you."

"I'm pretty sure you'd like fucking me a lot better," she almost growls, but then he's pressing her legs apart, his hard length brushing against her slick folds, and her voice tapers off into a moan. Her walls flutter in anticipation, and her desire is wound so tightly that it almost feels smothering. The steam from the shower probably isn't helping things, either.

He presses right at her entrance, sweeps his knuckles gently over the curve of her cheek in a gesture that seems like the most intimate thing she's ever felt, which is ridiculous considering what they're in the middle of doing. She doesn't have time to dwell on that, though, because then he's pushing into her and she can't think of anything except for the delicious press of him inside her, stretching her, filling her, making her body quiver. She lets her head fall back against the wall, her vision already going hazy. Or maybe that's the steam. She doesn't know. She doesn't care. Not when he's fully inside her and has one hand braced against the tile, his breaths uneven, like it's almost too much for him, too.

"Perfect," he breathes, his forehead falling against hers. "You feel perfect."

"Took the words right out of my mouth." His lips pull back, teeth bared in a brilliant smile. "You have no idea how many times I've pictured this."

"Stop," he says with a laugh. "Keep talking like that and I'm not going to last long." She giggles. Good to know. "I've imagined this, too. So many times." His lips tug into a smirk. "And I'm an artist. You have no idea how vivid my imagination is."

She doesn't know whether to tease him for sounding corny or beg him to tell her every little detail, but she doesn't have to decide, because his lips are on hers again and he's pulling out, making her whimper, making her walls flutter in protest. He rolls his hips gently, slowly, no doubt to give her time, and god, as much as she loves being able to feel every delicious press and pull of him, she needs more. She hooks a leg around him and meets his thrust, rolling her hips in an attempt to get him to go faster, and he groans and does exactly that.

Her head is spinning, her lungs burning for air, but she doesn't want to stop kissing him, either.

He thrusts in deeper, somehow, and she actually yanks her lips away from his to mumble, "Fuck, yes, harder—"

He sort of grunts in response, hooks her other leg around his waist and presses her a little higher up the wall, making the angle change, brushing against a spot that has her seeing stars. She actually cries out his name, her voice echoing off of the walls, and he hits that spot again and again and again, making her dissolve into nothing but a slur of moans.

Then his lips are on her neck again, nipping and sucking, his tongue teasing against her wet skin, and he doesn't even flinch when she drags her nails down the muscles of his back. She'd be more embarrassed by how she's whimpering his name over and over if he wasn't making her feel so fucking good. Her walls are fluttering and her heart is stuttering in her chest, and then his fingers splay over her ass, lifting her up just a little bit more and pressing her just a little bit closer, so that he's hitting that sweet spot on every delicious thrust.

"Oh, o-oh." She's trembling because she's so, so close, and she kisses him like she's trying to let him know, because she sure as hell can't form the actual words.

"Wanted this for so long," he says, his breath hot against her face. His voice quivers ever so slightly, and she feels a ripple of satisfaction at the thought that he sounds just as wrecked as she feels. That this feels just as incredible for him as it does for her. "Wanted you so fucking bad."

She'd laugh at him swearing if she had enough breath to do so.

In fact, she feels as if she doesn't have any breath in lungs at all, because she's unraveling at the seams, mumbling god knows what as she's falling over that dizzying edge. He kisses her through it, along her throat and under her jaw and over her cheek, his lips brushing against every inch of skin he could reach, with a gentleness so unlike the thrust of his hips that it's almost disorienting. It's this gesture that's so sweet, so incredibly Steve, that cuts through the haze of her orgasm so that some small part of her mind to realize that Steve is still chasing that peak, and she tries to meet his thrusts as her body trembles in its high. He groans her name, slips a hand between them and rubs his thumb in quick, gentle circles over her clit, and she lets out a cry and almost shakes her head because it's almost too much, too much. Her walls flutter even more so, her body shuddering, and she can't quite breathe.

When he pulls out abruptly, she actually whimpers, whines his name in protest, but then his head is pressing against hers and he's groaning and she feels his release hit her skin, and the sound of him coming undone right next to her ear is possibly the best thing she's ever heard.

They're both sort of clinging onto each other, slumped against the wall as they come back down. She barely registers the water still showering over them.

"Fuck." She swallows a breath, eyelashes fluttering open. His face is barely an inch from hers, his bright blue eyes sparkling in a way she hasn't quite seen before. "Steve, that—"

"Yeah," he breathes out with a bit of a chuckle. "It was for me too." Then he presses their foreheads together, nudges her nose with his. "And it was damn worth the wait."

She feels herself smile. "Better than the fantasies?" He grins, kisses her cheek rather than answering, but she knows what he means. She slips her fingers into his hair and hums. "You're still telling me about those, though."

He laughs, and, alright, she was wrong. That is the best thing she's ever heard.

... ...

The hot shower water was practically lukewarm when they'd gotten around to actually taking a shower, and there was a phone on her text from Sharon when they'd gotten out, telling her that she and Sam wouldn't be home until the morning. Apparently the guy had surprised Sharon with dinner reservations in this restaurant that she loves in the next town over, so they're just spending the night in a hotel, which is kind of awesome. Natasha knows there's no hiding anything from her best friend, and she doesn't want to hide this, anyway, but still.

She gets a few more hours of peace. Sharon is hardly the kind of person to rub it in when she's right, but she'd probably make an exception in this case.

"God," she groans, stretching her arms and legs out. They ordered in Thai food for dinner and are eating in her room, because she'd plopped herself on the bed after their shower and just couldn't get back up. Whatever little energy she would've had after rehearsals and running those routines for Steve, he'd literally fucked it out of her. The only reason she's even in a bra and panties is because Steve said there's no way he'd be able to keep his hands off of her if she didn't put something on, and she definitely isn't ready for a round two just yet.

At least not until after she's gotten some food in her and caught her second wind.

(They're definitely not done for the night.)

"You okay?" he asks, and she knows he's genuinely concerned and not being smug. Well, not just being smug. There's definitely a smirk playing on the corner of lips.

She glares, but she's smiling, so it's not very effective. "I'll live," she says, setting her carton of noodles on the nightstand so she can take a gulp of her water. She catches sight of his backpack sitting unzipped on the floor, the spiral binding of his sketchbook poking out, and she leans over to pluck it up. "You know, I never saw your sketches from earlier."

"Oh," he says with a bit of a laugh. She knows he doesn't mind her looking through (she's done it before) so she pulls it into her lap and flips it open.

She blinks, her heart actually skipping a beat at what she sees: a drawing of her, mid-twirl on the point of her toes, her other leg kicked out and her hair sort of falling around her face. Her expression is half-hidden, but you can see the ghosts of a smile on her lips. The dance studio behind her has barely been penciled in, but the drawing of her? She hardly considers it a sketch. He'll probably be cleaning it up in places, but, shit. There's so much detail, such care to the strokes of his pencil, and he's even shaded in the flush in her cheeks so that it's obvious that she's exerting herself. But despite that, she looks completely serene. She looks… stunning. She's seen photos and videos of herself before, of course, but this is different.

This is how he sees her.

"What do you think?" He's scooted closer, peering at the page over her shoulder. "The painting will look better with the color, of course, but I think – hey." He furrows his eyebrows a little when she lifts her head. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's beautiful, Steve," she tells him. His expression eases, but only a little. "I love it. I promise."

She can see it in his eyes that he knows something else is still on her mind. But he must sense that she's not up to talking about it, at least not yet, because his lips curve into a that dimpled, boyish smile that she loves, his voice sort of soft as he says, "I'm glad." She gives him a little grin, leans in when he presses a kiss to her hair, and just like that, she feels at ease again. He's always been able to read her, always knows just what to say or do, and that makes it a hell of a lot easier to believe that she won't screw things up between them.

She can't screw things up. Because she doesn't think she's ever felt this way about anyone, and this drawing tells her that it might be the same for him.

"Hey," he says, and she tilts her head to meet his gaze, his eyes bright with adoration. There's really no other word to describe. "Thanks for dancing for me today."

She smiles. "Next time, you ought to dance with me."

"Well, if I've got a partner like you, how could I refuse?" he says, and, okay, she kind of has to kiss him for that.

[mystichoneybuddhachips]

How would the RFA+Saeran react to MC being insecure about her stretch marks?

yay for body positivity ^o^ midterms week begins for me tomorrow... someone please pray for me LOL i’m so stressed T___T

Yoosung:

you only decided to show him because he wanted to go to a water park and you didn’t know how to tell him why you were too self-conscious to go

when you lift your shirt just slightly to show your stomach, you’re already waiting for him to be taken aback or go “oh.. alright let’s not go”

but nope this boy is fascinated

“that looks so cool! i’m so jealous :(”

“um no, this is not something to be jealous over”

“:( they look like battle scars :( i think it looks really cool :( i want some :(”

at that point he’s pouting so much you’re too busy laughing to be uncomfortable over revealing your insecurity

he keeps on insisting that you look fine and that he think you’re even more special for having them

but he says if you’re still not ready to go to places like water parks, he’ll wait

“we can swim together in our own bathtub” he says with a smile on his face someone tell this boy two people can’t swim in a bathtub

you go red in the face when you picture you two in the bathtub

he sees your expression, realizes the implication of what he said, and then he gets even redder than you what a pure child

“w-wait! i didn’t mean to sound so… ahh, this is embarrassing” 

he’s too busy looking at the ground now, and you two are just standing in his apartment having a blush-off

and then he chances a glance back at you, looking extremely nervous

“i mean… i wouldn’t mind, though. if you wanted to…”

dear god who knew yoosung could be so brave?? you’re shook

but before you even give a reply, he’s screaming with embarrassment and running out the room

Zen

he noticed you never wore shorts, even during the blistering summer heat

not that he was one to judge your fashion choices, but sometimes you looked like you were dying in those leggings or jeans

so he carefully brought up the question, only because he was concerned

you’re reluctant, but it’s zen and you trust him, so you take a second to go into your room and change into some shorts

he blushes a little when he sees your legs, but his eyes widen slightly when he takes in the stretch marks near the upper part of your legs

immediately wears a warm grin and gestures you over

“aww babe… come here”

you do, but at this point you’re itching to change back and cover your legs up again

“i know, they’re gross…”

zen looks almost offended by what you say “what?! no no no, you look beautiful” 

“no lying, zen! it doesn’t make me feel better.”

now he’s frowning, leaning over and pulling you into his lap instead

“babe, i’m not lying. you look perfect.”

you keep waving his words off, but he keeps saying it as he hugs you close

afterwards, you occasionally have the courage to start wearing shorts around in the house at least and he’s thrilled

did the dramatic collapse onto the ground when you first willingly stepped out in shorts

“ah, fair maiden! your beauty has rendered me helpless! that wonderful face, those dazzling legs! where in heaven did you descend from?”

“zen please stop that is so embarrassing if you keep doing this i swear i’m never-”

Jaehee

it only came up because she was talking about her hair and how she was self-conscious about how it looked and so you shared one of your own worries

to your surprise, she’s not even that phased when you mention it, and you ask why

“stretch marks are normal for women, it’s nothing to be ashamed of”

“but they look…”

“i think they look absolutely fine”

she literally always cuts in every single time with a neutral compliment before you get to make any negative comments about it

so you stopped bringing it up, but still refused to show them to anyone

and one day you woke up to a piece of paper taped to your bedroom door… and bathroom window… and fridge

they’re all of the same article titled “10 Reasons Why You Should Love Your Stretch Marks!”

at first, you’re almost embarrassed that she went out of her way to do that, but after reading it, you actually feel a lot better about them

she never mentions what she did, but grins when you give tackle her into a big hug

“i hope you realize that i love and admire you for what’s on the inside, and even still, you look incredible. if anyone else thinks otherwise, i’ll deal with them myself”

you read the article every morning now, and it makes you feel more confident in wearing shorter clothing

Jumin

he was splurging again on clothes for you to wear while he was abroad on a business trip

and arrives home with his bodyguards carrying armloads of beautiful dress and tops

you’re lowkey worried about how you’re gonna tell him you’re never wearing those

but when he recommends one particular dress for dinner tonight, you come clean and tell him you don’t wear things with short sleeves in public anymore because of the stretch marks on your arm

he goes quiet for a long moment before ushering his bodyguards away

then walks over and gives you a big kiss before hugging you to his chest

“my love, i won’t force you to wear anything you don’t want, but it pains me to hear that you don’t appreciate everything about yourself”

“jumin, they’re stretch marks… no one likes having them”

“i don’t see why you should be so ashamed of them. you still look beautiful”

the next time he came back home, though, his bodyguards had a bunch of luxury long-sleeved dresses

since you still didn’t feel comfortable enough wearing short sleeves, you’re touched at the gesture

at night, he likes to kiss your arms and cuddle you before going to sleep 

707

he bought matching cat t-shirts to wear together for your next outing to the pet store

it was all fine until he noticed you were wearing a cardigan too

“MC!! it’s so hot outside!! and the cardigan covers the kitties on the back!”

you grimace, saying you have bad stretch marks on your arm and don’t want to show them

he gets all serious then, stepping away from the door and sitting you down on his couch

you two proceed to have a long talk as you tell him why you feel so insecure and him trying to tell you why you shouldn’t feel that way

he’s sad that you’re negative about them, and announces that he’s set a mission to make you appreciate and love yourself

will literally compliment you every day

sticks post-it notes all over the house saying cringeworthy things like “you’re so beautiful today that you made me forget my pickup line”

you lowkey love it though, and feel better about yourself with each passing day

one night you even show him that you have stretch marks on your stomach while lying in bed together

he makes this loud gasp, and you think that it’s out of disgust

but then he looks up, eyes shining

“cotton candy”

“…what?”

“it looks like cotton candy!”

“seven;;;; no”

“look! it does! i love cotton candy!! and you!!! this is surely a sign that we were made for each other!”

Saeran

he only knew because you were talking about this new shirt you got that you can’t wear once you realized it showed the stretch marks on your arms too much

for a short while, he never brought it up because he didn’t know how to

like he wants to tell you that you look completely fine with them

heck, he thinks you look more attractive with them 

he finds the way they look fascinating on you

but god forbid he ever drew up the courage to admit it out loud

yet as time went on, and you continued to torture yourself in the summer heat with long sleeves and pants, he started to get agitated

cause why were you suffering like that?? what was the point??? 

so one day he just tossed you a t-shirt while you were lounging on the couch watching TV

and you’re all confused as to why he gave you it

“you’re sweating, isn’t it obvious?”

“i’m fine… i don’t mind it”

“if this is because of your stretch marks, there’s no point”

now you’re slightly annoyed at him for saying that

“there is a point! they bother me, and i don’t want to see them! no one does!”

and then he suddenly raises his voice, “well I do! i like them and you look perfectly fine even with it!”

there’s a longggg silence before you realize he actually said that

“saeran, what did you–”

“no i didn’t”

“i haven’t even finished my–”

he’s blushing furiously “i didn’t say anything i don’t know what you’re talking about” then he speed-walks into his room

later when he walks about out after you call him for dinner, he sees you changed into the t-shirt

a ghost of a smile touches his face, but he immediately schools his expression while helping you set the table

he does compliment your shirt later on though, and you start wearing t-shirts around the house more cause you lowkey notice him smiling whenever he sees you in them and you love it

[brown-rice]

Taking a break from the midterm study/note-taking grind

Got a midterm, quiz, matlab, and math assignment due this week, with 2 more back to back midterms next week, so I’m stressing a bit. Spent the last two days just sitting and rewriting notes but I feel like I’m not retaining anything hhhhhh. Looking forward to going home, seeing some good people and my dog this weekend though. I can kinda feel myself getting sick tho, feelin’ pretty week b/c of my period, school, and stomach problems again.

Anyway, tomorrow is the start of week 3. I’ve been going to school for 2ish weeks now and have been living in this condo with my condomates for about 3 weeks now? I’m still in a really bad place emotionally/mentally, but I guess I’ve come to tolerate most of the things going on around here. Still floating around with no hope and dreams of my own, but I’m trying my best, doing the work and going to class, only missing one day because I felt like actual garbage. 

Living in this new place is really weird for me. Not that I’ve changed the way I live, but I’m sharing a room and “home” was the only place that I could be terrible and sleep all day and just kind of be off? But with people, I want to keep up appearances and try a lot to hide when I feel shitty. I can’t really figure out why I do that. I share a room with Ashley and I’ve already seem her cry several times about relationship stuff, and I’ve comforted her. I’ve fussed over Doni feeling sick, and say hi to Asher and Punit when they pass by. I try to stay out of my room and be friendly. And it’s pretty stressful hahahaha. In the beginning there was a much more noticeable rift between Ashley, Doni and I as one side and Asher, Punit, and Punit’s gf who is around pretty often. It’s not that we do anything against each other, it’s just that we don’t really interact beyond those trios, which kinda bummed me out, but I don’t care too much as long as everyone respects boundaries. There was a lot of passive aggressive stuff going on in the beginning, but after the first house meeting, things got better. My biggest peeve is probably that I’m a lot cleaner of a person than I thought? At home I did a lot of the cleaning, sure, but that was only when things were actually dirty. Things just never seem to stay clean here, which does bother me a bit, but we have a cleaning rotation going on now, if the others are going to actually do it. I also just feel really gross here for some reason, like when I shower it still feels like I’m not clean, and Ashley feels the same. We also keep getting bitten by bugs we never seen and have no idea where they’re coming from. I’ve been breaking out a lot more than I did before. Doni really wants me to open up to him and I’m just, super hesitant for no reason really. I’ve been holding back a lot since the summer. A nice thing is that Ashley’s cat loves me a lot, and kinda fills the void for my dog. He always sleeps on my bed lol. We also kinda opened up a Jewish scroll in the house whoops. Ashley’s always playing/talking to her other friends online, so while I want us to be good friends (and we are b/c we get along very well even tho she’s messy sometimes and has an annoying keyboard, we really don’t have any bounds? like we get changed and everything in front of each other lol) there’s also a wall that I feel. Everyone really keeps to themselves, except me and Doni. We’re usually out and about downstairs at the table, him paying League while I take notes. I suppose we’ve gotten closer. Ashley, Doni and I always try to get boba for each other if someone’s out getting some. Doni and I have lot of late night convos and he really wants us to be better friends, and I know that he actually would be there for me, but there’s just something about his advice that I’m so adverse to. That and I’m probably afraid of being let down again.

Regarding school, I had a really bad first day for no real reason. I just felt super horrible and wanted to cry when I got home, which was only made worse the next day when Punit and Ashley threw a party (I got some alc out of it but still). I just felt super alone in everything and really out of place b/c the condo doesn’t feel like home, but my home in Riverside doesn’t feel like home either. I just feel like I’m in limbo and don’t know what to do about it. But I’m really trying. During orientation, Ashley and I met a group of people who were all new students and really chill, we even all swapped numbers and planned to do stuff, but that all fell through so fast. Classes themselves are alright?? There aren’t any assignments to do, but I just feel like I’m behind on everything, even my low div bio class where I’ve already learned everything there. I just feel really uneasy like I can’t do anything or that I’m gonna fail. I fall asleep in class pretty often even though I get a decent amount of sleep. It’s weird. I didn’t expect my biochem class to be that hard, but I’m really stressing since it’s not clear what we’re gonna be tested on. Ochem is a mystery b/c while I know half of the class material, I don’t know where they left off. I kinda wish I had stayed at Mt.Sac to finish up the ochem series, but too late now whoops. Math is questionable but easy at the same time? It’s a weird feeling. So all in all, school is fine academically. I don’t really have any good friends that I can study or hang out with, and I’ve come to enjoy the alone time. At first, it was really lonely. I spent the whole first week trying to get to know people and join clubs b/c I realized that the people I considered important really didn’t think of me that way, at least not to the extent that I felt, and that’s okay. I have to learn to let those people go and that sucks, but I can’t keep being there for people who don’t care about me. I want to make good friends that return my feelings and sentiments, so I need to go out and try. It’s really tiring. I used to be able to call myself someone that makes friends easily, and I do, but I’m stopping myself from taking the extra step, and I can feel myself pulling back and away. I just don’t want to try anymore really, for new and old friends. I really hate losing old friends, especially ones built from long years of friendship, but people grow apart and I’ve done too much fighting for and taking care of people and blaming myself and letting people take advantage of me. It bothers me so so much that my close friends are the ones that know I’ll always be there and take advantage of that fact. Even if I end up with less close friends before and a lot more alone time, I want to and will be okay with it. I’m getting involved in KP and KOTX, but as a transfer student, it’s proving to be really hard to break into circles that have already been established since Year 1 and many other transfer students that I get along with already have old friends who actually care about them, like Ashley. Being away from Riverside has made me realize a lot of harsh things and I so desperately want to get away from everything and either die or start somewhere new. I can’t be there for people anymore if they’re not gonna be there for me, and even if I want to answer those late night texts and calls of crying, I won’t do it anymore. This is it, and if that’s mean then that sucks I guess. Hopefully once I get picked up into my KOTX and KP fams, I’ll have some good friends. Same goes for other upper divs for my major. So far I’ve made chill friends with another transfer student named Luke in my bio class. We remind each other that there are clickers and he plays LoZ in the back of the class while I read manga. I went to the manga club and the quidditch team, but they were both hella cringe. I might go back to the anime/manga club, but who knows. Triton gaming, I might see if there’s a sm4sh event.  

Another thing about friends is that I’ve got back into strong friendships with Roman and Kinuth???? Roman and I used to be really good friends during our time in hs, but kinda grew apart as he found his place and became more social while the Breadsix was growing apart. He and I have math class together and that’s probably the only reason why we hang out, but he’s sort of become my dining dollars sugar daddy LMAO. We study and eat together a lot, and I’ve chilled with his roommates sometimes b/c he lives on campus and I need somewhere to sleep during big gaps. So while It’s really nice hanging with Roman, I feel like after this quarter we’ll go back to not really talking or seeing each other that much outside of maybe KP. Kinuth is probably the most unexpected thing to happen to me so far. He just kinda showed up with Doni one day, and we’ve always had a vitriolic kind of friendship? So now we actually hang out and message every day. I knew he went to school here, but I just wasn’t expecting him to try being friends with me b/c he doesn’t really seek close friends. We’ll see where this goes tho. One of the sadder things is probably Meagan. She only comes to our places b/c Ashley and the cat are here, and I hear even less from her now that we’re in the same city. I dunno, maybe we’ve just grown apart too much. Same goes with how I feel towards Katherine, Joel, and even Rich. Landon a bit too, but less because we actually chat/message and he came the last weekend to visit. Normally Landon and I talk a bunch, but I really kept to myself, tho the quiet was still comfy. Dunno how long that’s gonna last. The stuff in the summer really fucked me up with how I feel towards all of them, and I’m slowly letting go, but it’s not like any of them are going to fight for our friendship. The SC thing’s probably gonna phase out too anyway, not like anyone responds unless I have to call people out. I’m just so tired with people and friendships and I don’t want to try anymore, and as I get comfier and comfier with being alone, I feel like I’m going to fall into that. It’s dumb, and I’m trying not to by going out and being active, but hey. I feel like I’m reaching out and trying to be honest when people say things like “pls trust me I’ll be there for u” and then I feel so let down b/c no one is there for me and it sucks. I posted in the group chat and nothing happened, it was a read message and idk why I keep doing this to myself. I’ve still got a lot of negative feelings about a lot of things with nowhere to put them. Even if I talk to people, I’m racking my brain for a solution that I don’t have and all I really want is a solution.

Everything I do or feel seems like a big fat whatever and I don’t really know what to do about anything anymore. I feel awful all the time, but there’s no time to rest because of classes. Falling into sleeping all day again. And honestly I’m terrified of letting that happen. The only other thing keeping me grounded is reading fics. Week 3/10 so far. I’m gonna try applying to some jobs too. I’m really trying my best here. All I want is to have a stable income and a place of my own. Thinking about getting my own place after this year if I get a job and can afford it. Maybe live with my sister. Maybe leave SoCal and go to Davis for more school stuff. Still a lot of wanting to die feels but hey, that’s why I’m living with people, to stop that from happening. Hopefully things will work out.