#I haven’t had public strangers problems yet (that were caused by me <3)

[cloneboywonder]

oooooo I had so much fun today we ordered food at work and we played games and I went on a couple walks bc my one student had tons of energy and he kept getting yelled at :-( I was like come on buddy we can go play outside :-( and then after school I picked up my step brothers grandma and my mom and we went to the mall. IIIIII SAW MY BUDDY AT THE RECORD STORE. I sent my mom and Mimi off bc it’s not fun to hang out w him if there’s other ppl :/ but then i felt bad bc my mom messaged my saying she was waiting outside the store and I went out there and was like oh sorry how long were you waiting and she was like we were only at the other store for 10 mins,,, um they sat outside fye for like 45 mins LOL saurry I looooove talking to my bestie sm. He was excited because he got some email about fall out boy vinyls that were silly color pressings and he’s been saving it to show me. And he told me about some of his old Beatles albums I love learning and I love listening to ppl talk about things they like. I love having fun :-) But she wasn’t like bored or wanting me to leave she said I could go back in but it’s okay I’ll go see him again soon. I told him I would make some little bracelets and that if someone bought the fob vinyls there he had to give the people the bracelets LMAO. And then I went home and my dad said no update on tickets but that’s okay and he was stress looking at Ticketmaster because he was curious about prices LOL no worries BUT I thought it was cute because he was like “where are they from” and blah blah and then he’s was like “the damned things?” And I’m like huh? And he’s like the spin off band the damned things. And I’m like oh blah blah hiatus side project. But like. My man was reading a fall out boy article. He loves research lol. Yesss read about fobbie <3

[accio-victuuri]

Hi can you provide the link to read manhuas you prefer?

Hello Anon! OMG Manhua/Manhwa Rec! Here we go! I’ve only been reading for 2-3 months (consistently), so this will be pretty limited. I will link to the legit sites. A google search will direct you to others.

Most of these are WIPs and some, sadly, are discontinued. I won’t add TGCF or MDZS here cause those are already a given. 👇🏼

• Body Electric by Dong Ye ( completed, supernatural, lots of trigger warnings and plotty )

Ba Song is the hotshot cop who’s been handed an open-and-shut case: the suicide of a young woman. Except… who commits suicide by stabbing their own body and strangling themself? There's only one man who can help him with this mystery — Bo Shan, the renowned forensic pathologist with a severe and cold personality. What's more, his body produces bioelectricity, allowing him to acutely sense bodily injury with his touch. There's an electric current between them, and each touch sizzles with energy

If you like crime dramas and stories where they solve mysterious cases then this is for you. The romance is subtle, and their relationship is not insta-love. strangers to colleagues to friends to lovers trope. This also discusses alot of issues the society has that will make you stop and think. Ba Song is really the honorable MC in here who always wants to help people and do good. While Bo Shan is the reluctant one but deep inside, he wants to make a difference too. I wish they would make a donghua or live action out of this.

• 30 year old by S-Monkey - ( ongoing, age difference, blind dates, slice of life)

Charlie Wei is a single and handsome executive. He’s also a closeted gay guy who’s been on way too many bad blind dates with women. Charlie’s still hung up on his ex-boyfriend James and is… gasp, 30! Charlie’s family thinks he’s straight and too old to be without a wife! During another bad blind date, Charlie meets the flirty Ethan, who both annoys and intrigues him. Can Charlie finally come out and find true love with Ethan or will he continue on his streak of bad blind dates?

The cover looks melodramatic but it’s really not. This is so funny! I read this because people were saying it reminded them of BoXiao. And yes, there are moments here that remind me of them, but it’s more like an AU of BoXiao. I stayed up late trying to get caught up in the chapters and you won’t realize it cause it’s just that good. I love seeing the older MC loosening up and being more of himself. and the younger one being more responsible in his career. They just become better versions of themselves because of each other. It’s so sweet!

• I ship me and my Rival - by Pepa ( ongoing, comedy, reads like a meta )

This follows the adventures of Wei Yanzi, a third-rate actor in the Chinese entertainment industry, stumbles onto a shipping fandom for himself and another actor (Gu Yiliang) while trying to escape from the flame wars and negativity. He's so taken with this group of fans who actually see him as a good guy instead of an enemy/rival of Gu Yiliang that he falls head-first into fandom and becomes actively involved in trying to provide shipping fuel and the fans' daily dose of fluff.

IF THERE IS ONE thing you will read here, let it be this. It is hilarious. If you are a CP fan you will relate so much and it’s a good time. It just shows how people who think are rivals can actually be really good friends in real life. What we see is not always what it seems. and people will interpret things based on their bias. The MC here is so dramatic! how his inner feelings/reactions were drawn will make you laugh.

• Path to You - by Sinran (completed, slice of life, age gap fluff and comedy )

When almost college dropout Jensen attempts to drink away his problems, unemployed Nathaniel suddenly pukes on him and ruins his night. As an apology, Nathaniel offers to help Jensen with his studies. Despite Jensen's difficulties in getting along with people, the two become friends and something deeper begins to grow between them

The story is so soft. If you want something with mild angst/misunderstandings— then pick this. I love the progression of their relationship and how they take care of each other. There are other themes showed here other than the romance.

• Red Candy - by Hanse (completed season one with a cliffhanger, explicit scenes, assassins )

Shihyeon, aka “Red Candy,” is a secret agent whose code name comes from bathing in the blood of his marks on dangerous missions. Shihyeon’s tasked with seducing and obtaining intel from Hajun, a hot college professor. Shihyeon can disarm enemies, but didn’t expect to be disarmed himself by Hajun’s own tight body. Now Shihyeon’s caught between loyalty to his spy agency and Hajun. Can Red Candy survive the incoming wave of enemies and still indulge in the sweet ecstasy of Hajun’s embrace?

THIS STRESSED ME OUT MAAAN. Wow. I loved this. That season one cliffhanger. It’s definitely up there as my favorite. If you think about it, the tropes are really not original. An assassin is sent to shadow a person and they develop a relationship. That simple. But NOOOOO! There are so many things going on. The Main mystery plot, Their relationship, their shared past plus you have other sketchy secondary characters. And did i mention explicit scenes? Lots of them. I want this two to have a happy ending!!!

• Lone Swan - by Chu Man (discontinued, cultivation, star crossed lovers)

After losing his memory, Yiqiu Shen, a disciple from the decent sect meets a very special man named Luofeng Yan, who is the leader of the evil Divine Wind Cult. When escaping and conflicting with Yan, Shen gradually finds his original self as well as his previous love back. Together they rip off the facade of the martial world and reveal the hidden true

I didn’t want to add a discontinued story here, with no novel as a source material but this one made an impact on me. so. yeah. THE ART. breathtaking. The plot = layered. There are times I don’t even know who is telling the truth. It had so much potential and i hope it will get picked up again at some point. People rec this to those who enjoyed TGCF and MDZS, and they are right. 👍🏼

• Dragon in Distress by Si Wang Wen Hua - ( ongoing, dragons, past life, lost power, fantasy )

This is a story about a little Eastern green dragon and a little Western black dragon playing together.

The synopsis is pretty simple if you look at it but this one is pretty interesting. and surprisingly funny. tinie AoAo is so cute! 🤍 the other MC has tsundere tendencies tho. Lots of lore and more truths to uncover as the story progresses. I’m not giving it enough justice with how i’m reccing it, but if you like dragons and fantasy — give this a go.

• Breaking through the clouds 2: Swallow the Sea - Huaishang (ongoing, based on a novel, crime, drama, cases)

Wu Yu, a newcomer of the Public Security Bureau, is gentle and frail. He doesn’t care about the difficulties posed by Bu ZhongHua, his strict boss, and only wants to stay in the background to be paid on time with enough for food. However, no one knows that this young man’s head is targeted by top drug traffickers for a large bounty or that this courageous young man has once slaughtered the dragon of the abyss. With a chain of interlocking cases, a series of troubles come one after another. Can the two people work together to survive through the difficulties?

Do you see a pattern with me? lol. I like crime themes. This one is the same and by the looks of it, the cases they solve will take longer to unravel. I haven’t read the novel it’s based on yet so i’m just going with how the manhua is progressing. I like it when Wu Yu turns full on action-mode and when ZH takes care of him. Plus it helps that they are both gorgeous. I’ll get back this with a proper link.

• Where the Wind Stays - by Yusa (completed season one, curses, demons, possession, timeskip, explicit scenes)

To break an ancient curse that plagues the royal bloodline, young Prince Tasara is destined to be sacrificed in death. Nara is enlisted as a palace servant to carry out the prince’s execution when the time comes. But he develops a soft spot for the cursed prince, and after committing an atrocious and unforgivable act against Tasara, Nara is desperate to right his wrongs. Soon, their lascivious relationship that had been kept under wraps tests his resolve. Will Nara be tempted away from his original mission? There’s no telling how far he would go to earn Tasara’s forgiveness.

This story broke my brain, in a good way. I don’t wanna say much cause it will spoil the story. It’s the type that you gave to see and suffer through yourself. I am excited for what happens in season II!!!

Honorable Mentions:

I’m placing these here cause I have only read a few chapters and tho I liked them, I wanna read more before reccing it in full. 👍🏼

• I accidentally saved the Jinghu’s enemy

• Global Examination

• Monster entertainment

• Demon Apartment

And that’s it! Hope enjoy Anon! 😊

[senterya]

It's been an absolute joy reading people's takes on the OC interview that has been floating around recently.

The idea of a Pale Rose interview (read: Fyarh and Nym dragging ex-courtier Reln into this) sounded so oddly entertaining that I wrote it for myself for fun but it turned out... surprisingly okay? So I'm gonna leave it here.

OC Interview: Pale Rose edition

(Draw (or use an old drawing, don’t worry!) or take a screen of your character in an interview setting and make them answer the following questions!)

1. Can you introduce yourself?

Fyarh: Sure. I’m Fyarh, founder and – formally – leader of Pale Rose. I’m also the head of the Dreamers’ division in our guild. (turns to the other two) And they are Nymeleia and Reln, head of the Soundless and Courtiers, respectively.

Nymeleia: (with a wide smile) Glad to be here!

Reln: (remains silent – just nods a little)

2. What is your gender identity, orientation, and relationship status?

Fyarh: (after a few seconds of thinking) I’m male, maybe prefer others who identify as that too? Didn’t think too much about it before.

Nymeleia: I’m looking both ways. I’m female and taken, you could say.

Reln: Why is this even– (exhales) ...I’m male, I don’t care what my partner identifies as. And my relationships are not for the public to chew on.

3. Where and when were you born?

Nymeleia: Back in the Grove, all of us. I awoke at Dawn and the boys are both Night blooms.

4. What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

Fyarh: I’m best at stealth and surprise – daggers work just fine with that. If it’s an open confrontation, I prefer a light sword that doesn’t hinder my agility. But I’m trained and still training in hand-to-hand combat too.

Nymeleia: I was trained at the Vigil to be the shield, not the spearhead of the attack. I stay behind and make sure nothing hits that shouldn’t. I utilize shades and magic so technically I don’t need a weapon – a staff or scepter can help, though. I also carry a dagger on me, just in case.

Reln: I’m best with a bow. Two-handed sword if it comes to that. But whatever does the job, really.

5. Lastly, are you happy?

Fyarh: (smiles and glances at the others) I am. I’m on the path my Wyld Hunt laid out to me and I got great allies and friends that are with me every step I take. I’m truly grateful for that.

Nymeleia: (with a soft smile) I feel like I found my calling here. I’m working on a cause and with people that are amazing. I’m pretty happy with that, yes.

(both look over to Reln)

Reln: (after a few seconds of silence, with a cynical smile) Are we just supposed to say yes or no to that? Like happiness is that easy to define. (he glances to the side for a second.) But it’s been better here. Take that as a yes.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

1. What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

Fyarh: The guild is the closest I have to a family in a sense you ask. I think? I’m on good terms with everyone – luckily, I mean... (he laughs a little nervously) ...it’s as it should be.

Nymeleia: I’m with Fyarh on this one. The sylvari in Rose are the closest people to me.

Reln: It really is pointless to ask sylvari about “family” – we’re all technically related, but are strangers at the same time.

Nymeleia: (with a smile she barely tries to hide) You are dodging the question.

Reln: I’m not dodging anything, I’m being reasonable. I have close friends, and allies – call that a family, if you want to.

2. Have you ever run away from home?

Nymeleia: We’re all sort of runaways, aren’t we? (she laughs) I’m Soundless, I left the Grove quite early, then joined the Vigil. Does that count?

Fyarh: It counts. But just so that you don’t feel left out. (Nymeleia gasps and mimics trying to kick him in the shin, they both laugh. Takes them a few more seconds to get back on track.)

Fyarh: I used to sneak away a lot when I was supposed to be in lectures. I loved discovering Caledon, I knew every corner of it so well when I was a sapling. Maybe I’d still remember if I walked around.

Reln (after everyone looks at him): ...I’m from the Court. I think that’s self-explanatory.

Fyarh: But didn’t you also wander away a lot?

Reln: You could say. I preferred being alone. Hunting was a good excuse.

3. Would you consider marriage or having children?

Fyarh: In the far future, maybe? I’m still very young though, and my hands are full with my guild and my Hunt. It’s definitely not something I think about a lot.

Nymeleia: Marriage sounds cute – I like the idea of honoring commitment with a little ceremony.

Reln: Neither of those seems to be for me.

Nymeleia: (quietly) Ah, my heart.

(Reln glances at her, but doesn’t respond.)

4. Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

Fyarh and Nymeleia: No...?

Reln: (slightly annoyed) Is it even a friend if you hate them? Next question.

5. Which friend knows everything about you?

Fyarh: Maybe Daleien? We've known each other for the longest, and he was with me through thick and thin. Nowadays I share a lot with Nym and Reln too. I used to be very secretive about myself but I’m working on it.

Nymeleia: We chat and gossip a lot with Dia – she’s another Soundless from the guild. She’s lovely and so supportive, I’m really glad I have her.

Reln: I’m not the one to share everything about myself. But my second-in-command knows the most.

Nymeleia: Oh don’t listen to him. He and Lavan technically read each other’s minds – no words, just half a gesture, and they know all they need to know.

ASKED BY FANS

1. Are you literate? Have you been to school?

Fyarh: I’m literate, and I’ve been mentored as much – well, maybe a little less – than any other sylvari.

Nymeleia: I actually struggled with reading and writing for a while – I could, just not well, as I never really had to. Paperwork has been a nightmare for the first months in Rose, but by now I got the hang of it. I’ve been reading a lot of novels recently, too.

Reln: I’m literate, and was mentored like all other saplings. The latter didn’t reach its purpose, though.

2. The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

(They all look at each other, but neither of them seems to have an answer or anything they’d be willing to share.)

3. What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

Fyarh: Oh. I somehow never really talked about my Wyld Hunt in.... sufficient detail to my mentors? Not before the Wardens arrested me for hiding thorn pups in a forsaken outpost. It was a real journey talking my way out from there. One of the most embarrassingly funny things that happened to me, in retrospect.

Nymeleia: I was always too caught upon not handling the concept of pain, and death, very well. I don’t regret working on it and toughening up, I just wish I had realized sooner that I should hone my strengths instead of desperately trying to “correct” what I perceive as a weakness.

Reln: ...I guess I haven’t realized soon enough what real understanding means. (he seems mildly uncomfortable by the question, and does not elaborate)

4. Do you have mental health or physical issues?

Fyarh: Fighting takes a toll on everyone, I’d say. But nothing other than that.

Nymeleia: (nodding along – her eyes wander off to the distance)

Reln: A few scars here and there. Had a lot to deal with after coming back from the heart of the jungle, but I have worked through most of those by now.

5. What is your current main goal?

Fyarh: I’m dedicating all my time to the guild. It’s been coming along so much better than what I prepared myself for, and I’m not about to waste the opportunity.

Nymeleia: I’m not satisfied with my level of skills on the field yet – I’m spending as much time on training as I can, next to Rose. There are some other necromancers in the guild with who we share our knowledge, and I have gotten some general good advice and lectures from Firstborn Trahearne himself. It’s crazy how far Fyarh’s connections go.

Reln: I’m busy training and supervising my own division. Most of us are reliable and trusting, but there are and will always be a few loose cannons I need to keep an eye out for.

CHOICES

1. Drink or food?

Fyarh: A drink, maybe? I tend to forget to eat. It’s getting on Nym’s nerves at times.

Nymeleia: Ah don’t even mention it. I’m picking food – nothing tops a good, warm meal after a long day.

Reln: Food, if I have to pick.

2. Cats or dogs?

Fyarh: I love cats. I wouldn't mind adopting one, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to take good care of them.

Nymeleia: Can we pick both, maybe?

Reln: (glancing at the thorn wolf lying next to him) I’m more of a dog person. But cats are good too.

3. Early bird or night owl?

Fyarh: I’m a night owl. Waking up with the rest of the guild at early hours is a nightmare for me. I tend to oversleep so much, it’s almost comical.

Nymeleia: That’s not a problem for me though. I’m up before everyone else. And so is Reln.

Reln: (nodding)

4. Optimist or pessimist?

Fyarh: Optimist.

Nymeleia: Same, some will even say naive for sure.

Reln: Middle ground. I’m more of a realist than any of the two.

5. Sassy or sarcastic?

Fyarh: Maybe... sassy? With close friends. I don’t feel like either most of the time, honestly.

Nymeleia: Would you say I’m more sassy or sarcastic?

Reln: (to her) Is that really a question?

Nymeleia: Oh entertain me.

Reln: (gestures towards her; she laughs)

HAVE YOU EVER

1. Been caught sneaking out?

Fyarh: Once, when I was sneaking out of a Court camp with two stolen thorn pups. Barely got away. Didn’t dare to show myself around there for a while.

Nymeleia: Several times. Did a lot of bathroom cleaning in the Vigil for it too.

Reln: If I was, I doubt I would be here today.

2. Broken a bone?

Fyarh: Miraculously, no. I don’t even know myself how’s that possible.

Nymeleia: My left arm. Open wound, too – wasn’t a good experience.

Reln: Nothing that a field medic couldn’t fix.

3. Received flowers?

Fyarh: If you mean it like, in a romantic way? No, not yet.

Nymeleia: I received a few, but in my experience Vigil soldiers are more of the blunt than the romantic type.

Reln: No.

Nymeleia: How dare you. I gave you potted herbs a while ago!

Fyarh: (leaning forward) Potted herbs?

Nymeleia: It’s because he takes his food back to his room all the time. And then he complains about the seasoning. Go figure!

4. Ghosted someone?

Fyarh: I did... use to run away from confrontations a lot. But people say I’ve gotten better with that too.

Nymeleia: I prefer to just tell people if I’m not interested in talking to them. As kindly as possible, of course. But I think it’s ruder to leave them hanging.

Reln: I did leave from places – the Grove, the Court – suddenly, but then again, I didn’t have many connections to either in the first place.

5. Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

Fyarh: That happens. Easier than trying to go back to it and figure it out, takes away the flow of the conversation.

Nymeleia: Everyone does that from time to time, no?

Reln: I don’t. If someone’s not funny enough, that’s not my problem.

[jawritter]

Broken Me...

Ch. 3

Summery: The Dallas Convention couldn't have come at a worse time for Jensen. His world fell apart earlier that morning, but was expected to just act like everything was normal. You and a friend were at the convention for her birthday. Life hasn't been that great for you either, but a forced meeting on stage changes two worlds. Will you be able to put this broken man back together again...

Series Warings: Cheating, shitty marriage, Danneel is a bitch, I unfortunatly have to put that as a warning because some people tend to get turnt up about it if you don’t... Smut, Crying, Suiside Attempt, brief discription of suicide attempt and recovery, depression, hints of self loathing, language. I think that’s it... Suicide Trigger warnings will be placed over each chapter!

Chapter Warnings: Online bulling, language, insecurities, mean girls. I think that’s about it..

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1779

A/N: BINGE READ TIME!! As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is gold!! Hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want More? Check out my masterlist!!

****MASTERLIST****

Jensen's POV:

"I can't believe I lost it like that man! What the hell!!" Jensen yelled, throwing his hat across the room, watching as it hit the wall with a limp thump before falling to the floor.

He’d never been so pissed off at himself in his life, the way he ran off stage like that, Y/n probably thinks she did something wrong. 

He knew she saw him upset…

He knew she saw him try to hide the fact that I was up there crying like a little bitch... 

Maybe that many shots before he got on stage wasn't such a great idea after all... 

He was just trying to get numb enough to get through this damn concert without feeling anything. That turned out well didn’t it...

"Dude stop!! You're doing a hell of a lot better than I would be doing. I would have left the convention by now, and would be a blubbering mess somewhere. As far as y/n goes. I think she's fine. I saw her taking selfies with some other fans after the concert was over. Now Richard on the other hand, he saw, he's asking questions. I know you're not ready to talk about all this to everyone, but if you're going to stay at the convention. You're going to have to tell the rest of the cast and crew what the hell is going on with you." 

Jensen knew Jared was right, but he couldn’t help the stone face that he gave him as he watched the overly tall man take a swig of his beer. 

Even though Jared has the mental maturity of a ten year old, when stuff is going down he usually is right. 

As far as Jensen was concerned he was nowhere near ready to talk about what happened between Danneel and himself, everything was still so fresh, so raw, hell it had just happened today! 

He knew he couldn’t get into telling people without breaking down, and that was NOT something he was going to do in front of everyone. 

It just isn't going to happen... 

"I know you're right, but I’m not ready to talk about this with everyone, man it all this just happened less than 12 hours ago! I haven't even had time to process it yet. I'll try, and talk to everyone in the morning if people are asking too many questions. I just can't do it tonight. I'm still a little drunk, I'm exhausted. Probably too damn exhausted to sleep, which means I’ll probably drink myself to sleep…. Don’t look at me like that Jared, I just ….need tonight okay......Put Richard and everyone else off till in the morning if they ask you any questions."

Jared fought the urge to shake his head and roll his eyes, but this was Jensen’s battle, not his, and he had to deal with all of this how he saw best. No matter how much Jared didn’t agree with it..

"Okay I can do that. I told Richard tonight that you would probably tell everyone in the morning what was going on anyway, It was the only way he would let it go. They're worried about you man."

Jensen pushed his hands through his already completely messed up hair, and stood there with his eyes closed, trying his damndest to get a hold of himself. He was tired of crying about this already, and had just happened today, hell it’s not like they were together every day of their marriage, he was practically single anyway… They never even fucking saw each other.. Why did this bother him so much?  

"Ugh Jen?" Jared said, sounding almost like a little kid afraid to tell their parents something bad.... 

"What?" 

White hot fear licked at Jensen right up his backbone, it was never good in this industry for someone to use that tone while looking at social media... 

"Uh, looks like the video of you and y/n tonight has gone almost viral." 

Video of him singing at cons did that all the time so it was no surprise to him that one of him signing with a fan had gotten a lot of attention. So Jensen knew that was just the warm up for the let down, and braced himself…

"Okay, So." 

"Well Danneel saw it and, well......" 

Jared handed Jensen the phone, and what he saw there made him nauseous, and like he’d been shot in the chest with a 12 gage full of buckshot all at once….

“That bitch..”

............................................................

Your POV:

Walking back through the door of your hotel room you fall face first on the bed. 

Exhaustion was a very real thing, but you still had a lot of adrenaline pumping through you, way too much to sleep right now. Your mind racing a thousand miles a second. Analyzing everything that had happened tonight almost to a fault. 

Did I dream that or did it really happen? 

What's going on with Jensen? 

Why was he so upset? 

Were Richard and I the only ones that noticed? 

Jared obviously saw? 

Every time you think about it  your skin would tingle where Jensen had touched you. Hell by the time the two of you hand ended the song he was seriously so close for just a moment you thought he was going to kiss you. 

Thank God he didn't... 

Cause you probably would have passed out in his arms... 

Which probably wouldn't have been a bad thing, if you were alone, and not on a stage in front of hundreds of people with cameras and smartphones. 

Not cool...

With that thought you picked up your phone, and saw literally hundreds of twitter, facebook, and Instagram notifications on your phone. 

Your eyes bulging out of your head as you scrolled through twitter, the video of Jensen and yourself had gone almost viral. 

Your head started spinning and you honestly felt like you were going to throw up. Everyone seemed to like it, that wasn't the thing. The SPN fandom was seriously awesome that way, and for the most part everyone supported each other in one way or another... 

It was the post from Danneel that shook you from your head to your toes... 

"Y/f/n!! Get your ass over here!!" You yelled toward the bathroom where she was brushing her teeth. The room was spinning slightly as you read the tweet over and over again, as if you could make it disappear from the world wide web by sheer willpower...

"What?" She yelled back, running toward the bed, a look of concern on her face. 

She knew your tone had changed from joking in the elevator to almost sheer panic. 

"What is it?" She asked, taking the phone out of your hand. 

"Dang...Poor Jensen!!" She said, staring stocked at the phone. She was staring at the phone in slack jaw shock probably like the rest of the fandom at the moment.. You knew this was just the calm before the storm though, and you were about to be under fire form some of the more hardcore fans in the fandom...

"Well he was having a harder time than what it looks like on the video." You said, she looked at you completely lost. Apparently the audience didn't catch it. A moment ago you would have been relieved, now though you wished they would have just seen him.. 

Then man was a damn good actor...   

"That part in the video that looks like he's kissing my neck….. He wasn't. He had started to cry, and was wiping his face." You mummer, guilt rocking you to your core for agreeing to sing that song with him now that you knew what was going on with him... 

"Bullshit!" She yelled. "Why didn't you tell me he was that upset!" 

“I thought it wasn't any of our business! What was going on with him was obviously not intended to be a public thing. So I kept my mouth shut out of respect." You shot back. 

Looking down at the tweet you still couldn’t believe what you were seeing was really happening..

The tweet was a repost of the video of Jensen and yourself singing. That wasn’t the problem. It was the comment above that  made you nauseous. 

Well since Jensen seems to have ALREADY moved on to basically screwing fans on a live stage!! Looks like I OWE my fans the explanation! Jensen and I are getting a DIVORCE!!! WE ARE NO LONGER TOGETHER!!  I don't know who this girl is, but baby girl RUN!! I PROMISE YOU DON'T WANT THAT!!!

---------------------------------------

A few hours later you found yourself still awake and staring at the ceiling. Sleep wasn’t going to come easy tonight no matter how you sliced it.. 

You couldn’t believe she did that.. 

She doesn't even know you!!! 

Some fans jumped to your immediate defense, telling her to go screw herself, and that didn’t happen the way the video was making it look, that it was a lot more innocent in person. 

Then there were some ‘Jensen always deserved better than you anyways’. 

That It was just a performance... Meaning nothing and she needed to get over her high and mighty act... 

Jensen was a sweetheart. He was probably totally heartbroken, and she was a bitch... 

Then there were some that were attacking you... 

"She's just a whore. He'll come crawling back." 

"He's a jackass you deserve better." 

"She wont even last with him a week." 

"She's just a side bitch."

 "She's ugly, he downgraded." 

"OMG I didn't know Jensen was into fat girls!"

They cut deeper than a stranger's opinion of you probably should have. Especially that last one. You weren't fat by any means, but you also weren't hide stretched over the bones. 

You had curves. 

Your stomach wasn't perfectly fat. 

Your thighs touched together when you walked. 

You didn't have a model body, but hell Marline Monroe was fatter than you are!! 

You and Jensen we're NOT together in any sense of the word, and by no means was he practically “Screwing you” on stage tonight..

A slight knock on the door disturbed your thoughts, and you looked over to y/f/n. 

She was still knocked out. 

So you quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen down your face, dragging yourself out of bed. You got up and looked through the peephole in the door, but all you could see was a white t-shirt. 

You unlock the door, and peck through the crack to see who was standing there at this hour in the night, and who you saw nearly knocked you on your ass for the second time tonight..

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Tag List: @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ 

Binge Tag: @sarahbaker2010​

[icharchivist]

I have finished winter troupe debut episode! It was very dramatic lmao. Was enjoyable though. Winter troupe all had very interesting characters and It's nice to see a troupe that is all adults.

Since I complained about spring troupe issues being solved by not talking about it. I have to talk about how winter troupes issues were solved by literal outside forces trapping them or letting them read peoples minds.

I'm guessing they did this because unlike the teens who are more willing to be open about themselves and pester others,,,, adults are a lot less likely. (Before winter the adults were, sakyo, and itaru? cause the uni students aren't really adults yet. sakyo opens up to Izumi because he knows and trusts her. Itaru. Hasn't really opened up yet but he's getting there.) Whereas winter troupe is a group of strangers and the two who know each other literally are in the middle of massive misunderstanding/fight?/idk mutual disappointment.

(Also misumi just getting trapped in random time loops???? Holy shit is he ok???? Like he was able to figure it was tsumugi and tasuku this time but what if he doesn't know the people? I have so many questions)

Ok rant over. I have accepted that magic exists in a3 and all it wants is for people to get along and understand each other. But yeah once I crawl through the events and next act I have to rewatch spring hahaha. I definitely wasn't fair to them.

Homare oh my god. Just. Holds gently. I want to protect him. No one deserves to be called a broken cyborg :(

Gahhh all of winter troupe I just want to protect.

Also I saw fuyupoly is a thing? Because I'm excited to see the troupe develop more.

(you said you had a Google drive of the inbetween acts events :eyes: should I message you or something?)

tHEY’RE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.....

And yeah tbh when you talked about Spring having communication problems my first thought was “oh BOY you haven’t seen Winter yet” DLKFJDLFKJDFLKJDFLK

I. think about Winter much more than i should but yeah, pretty much it’s the fact they’re adults and strangers and just. are extremely conflict avoidant, all of them, for various reasons. Tsumugi because of his crushed confidence, Tasuku because he struggles to convey his feelings and he lost Tsumugi in the past, Hisoka because he litterally has no past and it freaks him out (Homare was spot on when he said Hisoka knew he couldn’t defend himself), Homare because he’s scared he’ll mess up again, and Azuma because he spent his life keeping people at armlength.  They’re all adult and agreeable people, and they are also all pretty understanding in some way, so they let some conflict pass by hoping it will be over soon. Some of them like Tsumugi, Azuma and Homare are also pretty analytic of people on a psychological way so they can try to navigate with what they know. 

But in the end without communication it’s not going very far, but they don’t really know how to do it when all of them are adults who have got used to it. 

so yeah, like you said it’s really that they’re adults and that unlike the youngest ones i think it’s just. they’re all used to compromise and compromise a part of themselves as well. 

but yeah the magic being the thing solving it cracks me up all the time i’m just. Like. okay. Okay cool okay. Normal. Like. Thematically wise i think it’s because Winter is a season that’s so cold and sad but there’s a bit of magic in it (like the magic of christmas) and i think that’s what it is meant to echo but that’s. so out of the blue DLKFJDKLFJDLKFJLDF that said once that just accepted i really love the way the three magical events reflects the characters (Tasuku and Tsumugi needed to reconnect and find back the comfort they had with one another and plushies are considered comfort items that helps transition into a safer place, it’s also linked to childhood and those two are childhood friends. Homare and the loupe are pretty straight forward, he needed to see closer, deeper. Azuma and Hisoka both were locked into a room, isolated, just like their past (or in Hisoka’s case what his flashbacks implies) make them feel isolated, having experienced loss).). I am FASCINATED with Winter. i just. akjhfkdhfkdjfmldjfmd?? sljhfjldk.

but aah i’m glad you enjoyed the ride so much i’m so happy!!

and god yeah please someone check on Misumi i worry for him wtf

and Homare’s arc yeah!! yeah!!! his arc is one of my fav arc i just. really love how it all plays out. It’s really rare to see a story goes “here’s a character with low empathy: and he’s the most loving and kind character you can imagine”. The way he struggles from it, how sad it makes him, this way to see himself, everything makes me want to cry for hours. I want to hold him so bad.

Fuyupoly is definitly a thing yeah. Fuyupoly my beloved. I adore Fuyupoly so much 😭 but Winter is honestly a slow burn, especially in comparaison to the rest of the teams. 

I actually didn’t think much of them at first read (Azuma and Hisoka were already my favs though, i’m so soft for them)(also i say that but i know i found back screenshot of me crying about fuyu on first read so i did feel a lot but it didn’t hit me until late, how much i actually cared), and now i legit can’t stop thinking about all of them. I don’t know how much it says about their slowburn or what it says about me but; Winter.

ANYWAY congratz on finishing the main story of act 1 :3c and yeah, i’d prefer if i could share it in private (bc it’s, a lot of content and if i provide it in public this is clearly piracy and DLKFJDF i know a3 tends to take down some of this content and i’m trying to be stealthy).

Though if you don’t want to come off anon, you can tell me in another anon’s ask, i’ll link you my drive, then you’ll need to send me an ask to tell me you got it so i can delete the post, if you prefer?

anyway the drive is up and ready anytime. i just didn’t update some of the latest act 2′s events but act 1 is filled and that’s the priority. so you know also this drive includes 1) Story events, 2) the songs linked to each plays (which tells the story of the plays, def recommand it), 3) All the backstages from limited time cards i could get. Backstages linked to specific events are inside their specific event files, else the cards which didn’t come in an event are in the “Scouting file”.  What’s important to read plotwise is the Event stories. The backstages are very good and i def recommand it but it may be overwhelming so you can skip them and come back later for them DLKJFLDKFJFD it’s really just the main plot of each event that you should watch.

(also i should mention only the first two events are fully voiced, the rest are just with some voicelines here and there, but i still recommand watching it bc of the mood with the music and the sprites and all)

so yeah ready to send it anytime you want  !! :3c

[thespiritofthoughts1234]

The warriors

              Hi, my name is Isabela! I live in a small town called Ocna’s Village in Romania. Actually, I was born in Italy, but I’ve moved to Romania without knowing why, ok when I moved, I was a baby so is pretty logic to not know lots of things on that young age…Eh, doesn’t matter, cause now I don’t wanna tell you my story, but I really want to discuss about Dimension F35A.

                F35A is a place where everything that appears to be unrealistic, impossible or even dumb on this planet it can happen there. Now you might ask yourselves: “How can a little girl know so much about an interdimensional world”, well I know because I WAS THERE. You know, a very long time ago it was known about a rock that once rubbed by someone, it could create a portal between dimensions. That rock was called then a “curly rock”, a natural object that can be modeled in any other form, in today’s world it can be recognized in bracelet form and you can purchase it at an affordable price… (I swear I don’t make advertisement) …not true, actually you get it from birth (not literally anyone can say that).

               This dimension was perfect for my imagination, but it comes out that…I couldn’t get there till I turned 7…okay, technically, even at that age I still could NOT go in that universe, so I took my mom’s bracelet -I know that I’m not a good role-model, but I was DESPERATE, I asked her each year on my birthday (to be more convincing), and guess what she told me…I’ll make a scheme to show you my agony: -3years=No.

                  -4years=No!

                  -5years=NO!

                  -6years=NOO!

                  -7years=NOOO!

                So, it turns out that I’ve woken up for 8 years (1 year was under warranty) at 6 am because I had a “noghtmare” (eh, eh, get it…anyway, I wanted to make a pun but I noticed that no one laughed…L-LET’S KEEP GOING).

                  Ok, so when I first got in, I saw… a party with ponies and rainbows, that is what you were thinking...well, YOU’RE WRONG, it was just an unending war with random characters, it means that Batman could fight Bambi or something like that. Anyway! I looked around, everything was a chaos, but I’ve noticed something weird, I realized that everyone in there was fighting for a purpose or covering themselves or conquering new territories, so I made up a purpose too…the most important one. The thing that actually matters is that someone must clean this mess, a person that must be good, brave, and WORTHY FOR SUPREME LOYALTY, a creature that will stop this disaster.

And that’s why I’m…going to find it, what did you think that I am the person, no, not even a word, I won’t get into those knuckleheads, they freak me out.

                So, I transformed myself into a mouse and tried to reach the closest spot to hide (a rock…t-there will be many rocks in this story). And exactly when I thought that I’m safe, a giant robot crushed me (obviously I didn’t die because after you are crushed, sliced, shot, burnt, etc. you get back to your home dimension). But a second before game over I saw an iconic red color being, with deep black eyes that penetrate souls, three fox tails, two fox ears and one fox nose, who wore a leaf that covered all of its body, and who appeared to be a little bit confused by the chaos behind him, but in the end, he still crossed the road, very chill, to resolve his problems. I scanned it to have it like “skin” in the future (Minecraft users in the public, or Standoff or PUBG, whatever) but what future, because that stupid stack of iron CRUSHED ME:

                  --Hmm, what if I turn in that thing? I did it. Ew, this leaf doesn’t work on me… therefore, I changed. I was wearing a blue vest, white shirt, black jeans and brown boots…BOOM, it’s betTEEEER! I was screaming because a giant iron sole was going to crush me again (I would give a reply but I don’t have one…OH, WAIT, it looks like we can’t STEP inside without being CRUSHED by hospitality, HA HA, I’m a horrible pun maker…BACK TO THE STORY). However, I’m talking about one second before the impact, I ran but not like a penguin, I ran like FLASH:

                    --WHAT THE…WOW, I am running with the speed of light (clearing throat), doesn’t matter, now let’s find that person…I will look over mountains and valleys, lakes and oceans, and I will be recognized like “The random girl who brought the hero of this world” … after I will visit this place with the super-speed thing. Now I think I went through 3 kingdoms -I despite no one saw me- And then I arrived on a land with a dense fog, without…(cough)…clEAn AiR:

                    --NO…I need…(COUGH)…to continue mY qUeSt-not too far away from me stand a humanoid silhouette…at least that’s what I thought…however, I started to scream, powerless: PLEASE…(COUGH)…YOU, THE STRANGER IN THE HORIZON …I’M VERY YOUNG…EVEN IF I APPEAR TO BE IN MIDDLE AGE FROM THE DISTANCE AND UNCLEAN AIR! I fainted waking up in a cave:

                  --(Clearing throat again)…Uh, where am I? I said after being a little dizzy.

                   Suddenly a sound came out of nowhere, like a growl:

                  --W-what? Who’s there? I asked scared. An animal came out of shadow, actually it was the same animal that I saw a few moments ago: You again! What do you want for appearing in those mysterious ways? the animal growled harder showing its big fangs: Uuuh, what BIG fangs you got there, buddy, ha, ha! Wait do I have fangs too?! What’s your name? No, no, no, how do your friends call you? I have many questions about…you…I was slowly going back, because the animal was slowly coming to me. Unfortunately, I reached the end of the cave: Understand that I mean no harm, although we are in the same species, no…I scanned you, didn’t I…I scanned you…and I transformed into you, I hope you don’t want to…EAT ME?! I said with a worried expression.

                    After the last phrase the humano-animal -partial human, partial animal- for a second it stopped, and then it came rapid, got its huge bloody red color claws out -literally anything is red on you? – Well in that moment I nodded and I said:

                      --N-nice…c-claws. Did you do your manicure?... the best pun that I could tell to a creature with an unpredictable behavior, oh and more than that,

before I didn’t know if she/he was furious or happy, because I was seeing just his/her dark eyes -even the gender is unknown-, and after that innocent joke its eyes changed a lot, they were yellow with a keen red iris. “OH MY GOD I’M SO DEAD!” I said to myself…BUT yes, of course, I can’t die in this dimension, yeah thank you for reminding me, I don’t need to worry…just if I bump into a particularly type of being…a being that can destroy anyone and anything…

                          Is known about an ancient legend that reveals some sort of creatures, warriors, who disintegrate everything that stays in their way, although it doesn’t exist in their dimension, it’s speculated that those legendary creatures are the most dangerous beings in the multiverse…who told me? ... Mama told me!... Ok I don’t know how those legends look, but I hope that the respective humano-animal wasn’t a part of those fighters -WAIT A SECOND I HAVEN’T NAMED THE GUY YET, hmmm…let’s see…Neferis…no, to Grecian…Falohe, no, to Hawaiian, hmmm…Do…Ba…Aaaa I know, Zentofea, why this name? I DON’T KNOW!

                      Back to the story: That Zentofea -Oh gosh, I love this name- came closer to me being just as predictable as unpredictable like before, but the Zeantofea…Zen-a-to-fe-a?... seeming to be more furious. I said quickly:

                      --WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME! the Zento- Agh- that humano-animal, appeared to attack me, …but no, he/she? Destroyed the boulder behind me to make clear way to the outside world…really nice gesture from a   wild animal…By the way, after that giant stone, there was a pasture full of cold crystal flowers - why didn’t they named them ice flowers-: WOW, I hope you wanted to do this for the first time, because you might just miss and… Ya’ know…

                       At first, the animal had a disapproving look, and then it smiled and leaved:                    

                       --Ok…anyway…I’M GOOD! Now I seriously need to find that person, the battlefield is getting dirty, and I don’t want to clean the mess…I made a few turns in the pasture…aaand then I got lost…Um…I think I should go in that way…or that way…or…that…way…uuuh, …HEEEELP! After the previous phrase a humano-animal came out of the forest near the pasture: DUDE, if I owe you, every time you appear, I’ll buy you a yacht. Then the animal came closer, showing itself not being a Zentofea, but a humano-animal with a body of a wolf, a more evolved wolf, with human head and some different sized crystals placed uniform on the fluffy chest -I should wear glasses.

                       It came and smelled me:

                       --Uuuh, are you some sort of dog? it has stopped from smelling for a second and showed his sharp fangs… sharper than Zentoffe-a’s ones -I’m still thinking how to pronounce it correctly-…anyway…of course I got scared: UUUH, GOOD BOY, GOOD BOY, SIT! He growled: WHAT, DID I OFFENDED YOU IN SOME WAY?!SAY! LOOK I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU ARE, BUT TO KNOW THAT TODAY IS MY FIRST DAY IN HERE, AND ALL THE ANIMALS ALREADY HATE ME!

                        --Get out of our territory, Zentofea!

                       --Ooooh, so it’s pronounced Zentofe-e-a, ok I noted AND HEY, HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT NAME, and did you say “OUR territory”!? after that phrase, a bunch of more humano-animals came out of the forest. Ya’ know, don’t ya’ think you have to many friends? They were slowly approaching me, I know, you think that I could’ve escaped, but the answer is NO, I couldn’t escape because I was surrounded, and I also know I could have jumped, but those animals seemed to have springs instead of legs, really now, I think they evolved from kangaroos…Siberian kangaroos. Many of those animals had an white with a little of black fur, WE C-CONTINUE: So I was there surrounded by those oversized human-headed dumb dogs, I was helpless, TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII- increase the suspense-IIIIIIIIIIIILLL … nothing happened, I’m kidding, I figure it out that:” BUT WAIT I HAVE SECRET WEAPONS TOO!”. I tried to annoy myself to get my claws out, first time it didn’t work, and then I thought about the most annoying thing for me, not even this worked because I love all the things unless the things that I hate, so I went to Karate, Judo, and putting my fingers in other one’s eyes:

                       --OUCH, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

                        --That’s how I know!

                        Even with my MASTER moves, I still couldn’t stop those hundreds of humano-wolves - hmm, surprising- until one bit my tail. In that moment I was angry- I took out the sharp fangs, yellow eyes with small pupil and iris, big claws, now I don’t boast myself, but I took down at least 20 wolves, ok I boast myself a little bit. Doesn’t matter because everything happened in my MIND, after that guy who I put my fingers in his eyes, another one threw a stump in my head.

                         I woke up tied up of a plank, carried by 4 human-wolves -I’ll name them later- to the chief of the tribe. They put me in a cage, still tied, with fire under the cage, very chill. The chief said:

                         --Oh, divine spirit of the frozen forest we give you this offering in exchange of a great dinner.

                         --An offering for a great dinner? Do you know that you can hunt? I mean you’re half wolves after all!

                         --GASP, who would’ve done such a shameful deed!? They looked offended.            

                        --Says the guy who is making an offering to a horse!

                         --It’s a majestic wolf!

                         --Riiight, you really aren’t good at sculpture!

                         --Oh, yes, we are, everyone is criticizing us, and why aren’t you worried, you’ll be burnt, are you a player?

                         --OF COURSE, I AM -a brilliant idea just crossed my mind- n-not…of course I am NOT a player, because I’m a destroyer undercover!

                         A sound of surprise came from tribe:

                          --Wait a second why did you smell like a Zentofea?

                          --Well, it’s a special thing that none of you heard about, it’s called perfume!

                          --Oh!

                          --A-and if you don’t untie me, I’ll destroy you ALL!

                          --But if you’re a destroyer and you can destroy us, why didn’t you destroy the rope and the cage already?

                          --Uh- OH, yeah…uh, thanks…I forgot I can… DO… that -I was pretending to concentrate to destroy the cage, but as an amazing coincidence, a thing came out of nowhere and cut the iron box and saved me…still tied up…but free…i-in a way. Uuuuh, yeah, I telepathically sent a message to a recruit to save me, good job soldier! I caressed his head, good part he was fluffy, bad part he pulled out a laser gun from his pocket and pointed it to my forehead, he had 2 guns, the other one was pointed at the public -how dangerous can be a creature with 3 feet high:

                           --Run! Said The Short One, that’s how I call him, with a deep voice.

                           --I would’ve run already, if I haven’t my legs TIED UP!

                           --A Zentofea has stronger muscle power in lower limbs!

                           --…Yes…

                           --…That means that you can rip the string that ties your legs!

                           --Ooooh! I ripped the strings and I ran… after a few seconds I stopped and I returned to The Short One.

                           --WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, I TOLD YOU TO RUN!

                           --I won’t let you down!

                           --I’ve been here more than you so I learned a lot in my time!

                           --Ok, I trust you on this, but can I do somethin’?

                            --Yes, try to survive!

                            --…I hope I can do that!

                        ��   Well, it appears that The Short One had a plan to escape from that situation, I don’t know how, but The Short One shot with the laser gun in a cold crystal (ice), bounced off another two cold crystals (two pieces of ice), and then to the base of a tree, that rip causing a chain reaction, putting down tree by tree, the last tree falling in front of the angry crowd:

                           --WOOOOW!

                           --COME ON, I CREATED A DIVERSION!

                           --But, wait, how did you know that tree was going to fall in front of them? I have said while I was running with The Short One.

                           --D-do you really want to know?

                           --Uh, yes?

                           --Really, no one has asked me about this for a decade!

                           --Uh, about what?

                           --Science stuff…oh my God…I’m…so…excited…(clears throat) ok I’ll tell you…GASP, first time I calculated the area between the laser gun and the target, and then I’ve calculated the variables- he continued talking until I realized that we both have stop from running.

                           --Uh, dude ya know…an entire squad of human-wolves with six packs is like…following us!

                           --…And then I measured…

                           --…Uh, maaan?

                           --…But the distance was equal with…

                           --I beg you to stop!

                           --…So, I created a way to…

                           --Sigh, who am I kidding? I took him by the arm and jumped in a tree.

                           --…Although if I would’ve taken the theory…

                           --CAN YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT…please? I put my hand to his mouth and I pointed to the tribe that passed us.

                             --Oh, yeah, I-I’m sorry!

                             --Look, man, I understand your excitement, I think you’re a little lonely here by your independent character, but can ya wait until we get rid of this dorks?        

                             --Yeah, I know, and by the way I’m a girl!

                             --You are a girl, but how do you have such a deep voice? SHE took her mask off!

                             --It’s a changing voice device, dear!  

                             --Oh. My. Goodness. YOU ARE SO CUTE! I think she was the cutest specie of humano-animal that I’ve ever met in my life. I hugged her… SHE WAS FLUFFY!

                             --Look, that’s why I’m always wearing a mask…ok, this and other 3 reasons!

                             --Daaww, why, like someone would really attack you?

                             --Yes, many would attack me, players, qualified and unqualified hunters, maybe…MY OWN ENEMIES!?

                             --Aaww, but wait, you have enemies?

                             --Yes!

                             --Why?

                             --Because of my high intelligence!

                             --Really, well, that means that you have common enemies with many of your species.

                             --Meh, not really, I’m a very rare case, usually creatures in my species are…

                             --Let me guess, dumb, goofy, jerks, but with no reason?  

                             --I wanted to say idiots, but your description is much more extensive.

                             --I know how it feels, I mean a lot of people from my species are like that!

                             --Zentofea?

                             --No, humans…but I have one question, how does everybody know about this name? I named that creature!

                             --Uh, no, it has been named like that since forever!    

                             --How?...

                             --Look, stop asking useless questions and care about your purpose!

                             --My purpose…OH YEAH, MY PURPOSE, I FORGOT ABOUT IT!

                             --How can you forget your own objective?

                             --My PURPOSE…is that an ocean? I’d said while I was exiting the forest.

                             --Yes, the terrestrial space from this planet is predominant in isles and archipelagos!

                             --DAMN IT, how am I going to cross the ocean now?

                             --But why do you want to cross it? Do you need to cover a territory?

                             --No…

                             --Do you want to conquer a territory?

                             --…No…

                             --Then why do you want to cross the ocean?

                             --I want to change the world!

                             --Wait, you want to change the world…alone?

                             --Nope, that’s why I’m looking for a person to help me!

                             --Wow, really…wow, you’re the first person who said that! Hey, HEY, what are you doing? I took off my boots, I rolled up my jeans and I tried to run above the water, for 3 seconds I really have run above the water, and then I began to sink. I swam back to the beach.

                              --So, do you wanna tell me…where…the heck…were you thinking?

                              --I thought that I could run on water.

                              --Kiddo, if in your dimension exists some force who keep things together, however are you calling…

                              --Gravity…

                              --I knew about that name, I’m a genius, I just wanted to clarify that you know what I’m talking about…What I wanted to say, is that, the respective force exists in this universe too, but it acts with a different attraction.

                              --Aha, so what other idea do you have?

                              --Hmmm, first, you still didn’t answer the previous question!

                              --Well, I think the person might be after the ocean!

                            --Do you think that this motivation is certain, I mean isn’t assuming an attempt to know something that can be inexistent, do you really think, in this life anything can have a scope, don’t you think that life is an illusion meant to prepare us of everything what can be beyond the bars of reality?

                              I remained without words:

                              --I made this up 10 seconds ago, what’s so hard to understand?

                              --No, no…I-I understood!

                              --Then why are you doing this!

                              --Um, I don’t know…I think I just needed an adventure!

                              --Then why did you choose to change this world?

                              --I don’t kn-…YOU KNOW WHAT, leave me alone with those weird questions, you’ll provoke me an existential crisis!

                              --Ok!

                              --I just wanted to know How. Can. I. Cross. THE DAMN OCEAN?  

                              --Stay chill kid, I’ve got this! She took out a thing from her pocket and she blew in it, then a 45 feet animal came out of water and it wasn’t a blue whale. A little help from a seahorse!

                               --You can’t put the words “seahorse” and “little” referring to that thing!

                               --Oh, yes, I can. Player, say hi to Rudolf!

                               --RUDOLF? WHAT ARE YOU…SANTA…THE BARBARIAN!?

                               --Not really. Rudolf, say hello to the player! He said hello…i-in his language.

                               --Yep, I’m clearly going to make a raAAF- the monster picked me and sank into the water!

                               --Bye, bye, bon voyage through the ocean!

                               The monster took me to a temple under the water. In temple:

                                --COUGH…when I said to cross the ocean I DIDN’T MEAN UNDER WATER! All the torches in the room blew up.

                                --Greetings, my dear child! Said an old lady when she appeared from nowhere in front of my face.

                                --HOLY SHAMALAMA…sigh…ma’am I think you have the wrong person!

                                --No, no, that’s how I tell to the visitors!

                                --Ooo, so, you have tourists…riiight!

                                --No, every new player comes to me for the closet! She showed me like a Chinese closet -I made a redundancy, everything is made in China.

                                 --Closet, do you have problems with the furniture?

                                 --No, they get in it!

                                 --So…you kidnap kids... I’m calling the police!

                                 --No, you didn’t understand, it will be worth, plus is no police station in the middle of the ocean!

                                 --You’re the creepiest person I’ve ever met in my life!

                                 --Many people say that! Now, come on, it doesn’t bite!

                                 --At least I got rid of a fear! I got in the closet, immediately after I got in, I remained unconscious and I woke up in another world.

                                 I’ve heard a girly voice:

                                 --WARM WELCOME TO THE DIMENSION OF THOUGHTS! Said a grey colored skin girl with black clothes and amber colored eyes. And I’m the Spirit of Thoughts!

                                 --AAAAA!

                                 --Hmm, I thought that a Zentofea wouldn’t fear of literally everyone who says hello!

                                 --How did you know about that…AND MORE IMPORTANT, HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT THAT NAME!?

                                 --Well, first, I know what every player thinks, and second, I know about that name because I put it!

                                 --But ho-

                                 --How do I know that? Well, the answer is in the name, MY NAME, DUH!

                                 --And how did I-

                                 --And how did you name it? Ho ho, well, that’s simple kid, it’s because all of those subliminal messages that I left around the place!

                                 --If-

                                 --If I control the thoughts, why didn’t I end the war, yet? …It’s because that war shouldn’t end, it’ll declare the true leader of this world, like you said it must be a good, brave, and worthy person to clean this mess.

                                --An-

                                --And that means-

                                --Oh, will you please let me talk?

                                --Ok, go ahead!

                                --…And that means I’ll have to fight to make a little difference?

                                --Kid, I think that you will change the whole world, trust me, I don’t say this to any other player…but you have to fight for that, although it’s like the real life!

                                --Yeah…it is!

                                --…So, are you ready for your first match?

                                --Y-yes…yes, I do! Let the game begins.

[insteadhere]

Robert Jensen: Patriarchal Sex

I’ve seen an excerpt from Jensen’s Patriarchal Sex (one quoted by bell hooks in “The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love”) circulated around so I thought I’d add in a few more abstracts as it is a good piece.

Jensen, R. (1997). Patriarchal sex. International Journal of Sociology and Social Policy. Vol. 17, Iss. 1/2: 91-115.

(Note: Jensen is a gay man, but has very clear and critical takes on pornography, patriarchy, and power in general and I find him to be a worthwhile read.)

I begin with a working definition of patriarchal sex: Sex is fucking. In patriarchy, there is an imperative to fuck-in rape and in "normal" sex, with strangers and girlfriends and wives and estranged wives and children. What matters in patriarchal sex is the male need to fuck. When that need presents itself, sex occurs.

From that, a working definition of what it means to be a man in this culture: A man is a male human who fucks.

I am not a prude, but I have come to realize that I am very much afraid of sex. I am afraid of sex as sex is defined by the do i culture, practiced all around me, and projected onto magazine pages, billboards, and movie screens. I am afraid of sex because I am afraid of domination, cruelty, violence, and death. I am afraid of sex because sex has hurt me and hurt lots of people I know, and because I have hurt others with sex in the past. I know that there are people out there who have been hurt by sex in ways that are beyond my words, who have experienced a depth of pain that I will never fully understand. And I know there are people who are dead because of sex.

Yes, I am afraid of sex. How could I not be?

A common response from people when I say things like that is, "You're nuts." Sometimes, when I'm feeling shaky, a voice in the back of my head asks, "Am I nuts?"

I have been doing research and writing on pornography and sexuality for about eight years (Jensen 1996, 1995b, 1994a, 1994b). In the past few years, I have been trying to figure out how to talk to people who think I am crazy and how to deal with my own fear that they may be right. I have been trying to understand why the attack on the feminist critique of patriarchal sex has been so strong and so successful, and how it connects to the backlash against feminist work on sexual violence.

Here's one tentative explanation: It is too scary to be afraid of sex. To go too far down the road with the radical critique of sexuality means, inevitably, acknowledging a fear of patriarchal sex. And if all the sex around us is patriarchal, then we are going to live daily with that fear. And if patriarchal sex seems to be so overwhelmingly dominant that it sometimes is difficult to believe that any other sex is possible, then maybe we are always going to be afraid. Maybe it's easier to not be afraid, or at least to repress the fear. Maybe that's the only way to survive.

But maybe not. Maybe being afraid of sex is the first step toward something new. Maybe things that seem impossible now will be possible someday. Or maybe we will find that we won't need what we thought we needed. Maybe being afraid is the first step out of the fear and into something else that we cannot yet name.

Here is the curriculum for sex education for a normal American boy: Fuck women.

Here is the sexual grammar lesson I received: "Man fucks women; subject verb object" (MacKinnon 1989, p. 124).

The specifics varied depending on the instructor.

Some people said, "Fuck as many women as often as you can for as long as you can get away with it." Others said, "Fuck a lot of women until you get tired of it, and then find one to marry and just fuck her." And some said, "Don't fuck any women until you find one to marry, and then fuck her for the rest of your life and never fuck anyone else."

Some said, "Women are special; put them on a pedestal before and after you fuck them." Others said, "Women are shit; do what you have to do to fuck them, and then get away from them."

Most said, "Only fuck women." A few said, "Fuck other men if you want to."

The basic concepts were clear: Sex is fucking. Fucking is penetration. The things you do before you penetrate are just warm-up exercises. If you don't penetrate, you haven't fucked, and if you haven't fucked, you haven't had sex. Frye (1992, p. 113) defines this kind of heterosexual, and heterosexist, intercourse as, "male-dominant-female-subordinate-copulation-whose-completion-- and-purpose-is-the-male's-ejaculation." That is sex in patriarchy.

Men in contemporary American culture (I make no claim to cross-cultural or historical critique; I am writing about the world in which I live) are trained through a variety of cultural institutions to view sex as the acquisition of pleasure by the taking of women. Sex is a sphere in which men (by this I don't mean that every man believes this, but that many men believe this is true for all men) believe themselves to be naturally dominant and women naturally passive. Women are objectified and women's sexuality is commodified. Sex is sexy because men are dominant and women are subordinate; power is eroticized. In certain limited situations, those roles can be reversed (men can play at being sexually subordinate and women dominant), so long as power remains sexualized and power relations outside the bedroom are unchanged.

Summed up by Andrea Dworkin (1987, p. 63):

“The normal fuck by a normal man is taken to be an act of invasion and ownership undertaken in a mode of predation; colonializing, forceful (manly) or nearly violent; the sexual act that by its nature makes her his.”

One of the key sites in which these sexual values are reflected, reinforced, and normalized is pornography. Domination and subordination are sexualized, sometimes in explicit representations of rape and violence against women, but always in the objectification and commodification of women and their sexuality Dworkin 1981, 1988; MacKinnon 1987, 1993). This results in several kinds of harms to women and children: (1) the harm caused in the production of pornography; (2) the harm in having pornography forced on them; (3) the harm in being sexually assaulted by men who use pornography; and (4) the harm in living in a culture in which pornography reinforces and sexualizes women's subordinate status.

In a world in which men hold most of the social, economic, and political power, the result of the patriarchal sexual system is widespread violence, sexualized violence, and violence-by-sex against women and children. This includes physical assault, emotional abuse, and rape by family members and acquaintances as well as strangers. Along with the experience of violence, women and children live with the knowledge that they are always targets.

So, the conventional view is that rape can't be about sex and has to be about violence, because if it's about sex then each one of us has to ask how deeply into our bodies the norms of patriarchal sex have settled. Men have to ask about how sexy dominance is to them, and women have to ask how sexy submission is to them. And if we think too long about that, we face the question of why we're still having patriarchal sex. And if we face that question, we may have to consider the possibility of stopping. And if we aren't having sex, then we have to face the dominant culture's assumption that we aren't really alive because we aren't having sex.

Women aren't victims, some say, and radical feminism has tried to rum women into victims by focusing on the harms of patriarchal sex.8 This is a deceptively appealing rhetorical move. When members of one class (women) identify a way that members of another class (men) routinely hurt them, those who are hurt are told they are responsible for the injury because they identified it. If women would stop talking about these injuries, the logic seems to be, then the injuries would stop. This strategy seems popular with some women and lots of men lately. I understand why men take this stance; it relieves them of any obligation to evaluate their own behavior and be responsible. And I understand why women don't want to see themselves as always at risk of men's violence and sexual aggression. But saying you aren't at risk because you don't want to be at risk doesn't take the risk away.

What does the word "victim" mean? Dworkin (1990, pp. 38-39) writes:

“It's a true word. If you were raped, you were victimized. You damned well were. You were a victim. It doesn't mean that you are a victim in the metaphysical sense, in your state of being, as an intrinsic part of your essence and existence. It means somebody hurt you. They injured you. ... And if it happens to you systematically because you are born a woman, it means that you live in a political system that uses pain and humiliation to control and to hurt you.”

We live in a world in which some people exercise their power in a way that hurts others. It has become popular to pretend the injuries are the product of the overactive imaginations of whiners. White people routinely tell non-white people that racism is not a big problem and that if the non-whites would stop complaining, all would be fine. Rich people tell poor and working people that there is no such thing as class in the United States and that if we all would just work hard together everything would be fine. Straight people tell lesbian and gay people that if they would just stop making such a public nuisance of themselves everyone would leave them alone and things would be fine. But things aren't fine. We live in racism. Poor and working people are being crushed by a cruel economic system. Heterosexism oppresses lesbians and gays. And men keep fucking women.

I no longer trust myself to chart the course for change, to refashion sex into something I can trust. So, I seek not-sex, something different than what "sex" means in the dominant culture. I want intimacy, trust, and respect from other people, and I hope that it is possible for those things to be expressed physically. But I don't want sex.13

To say that I don't want sex is not to deny my sexuality nor cut myself off from my erotic power, as Audre Lorde uses that term (see also, Heyward 1989). Lorde talks about the way in which women's erotic power is falsely cordoned off in the bedroom, made into "plasticized sensation," and confused with the pornographic (1984, p. 54). For Lorde, the erotic is a life-force, a creative energy:

“those physical, emotional, and psychic expressions of what is deepest and strongest and richest within each of us, being shared: the passions of love, in its deepest meanings (1984, p. 56).”

Lorde writes about expressing her erotic power in some ways that the culture does not define as sexual and others that the culture might call sexual; she writes of the erotic power flowing both in the act of writing a good poem and in "moving into sunlight against the body of a woman I love." My expression of the erotic at this point in my life need not include such movement against the body of another. What is crucial is not channeling my erotic energy into sex, but finding other ways to feel that power. Lorde writes:

“Recognizing the power of the erotic within our lives can give us the energy to pursue genuine change within our world, rather than merely settling for a shift of characters in the same weary drama (1984, p. 59).”

[hollenka99]

The One Where Jackie Takes Each Day As It Comes

Summary: Chapter 1. Jackie may not have a home but he’s meeting some friendly faces.

@bupine @badlypostedeverything

Spotting all the daily newspapers declare it was February 13th 2019 that first morning had been rough. Part of Jackie had wanted to believe it was a really elaborate prank. But the lads wouldn't be able to do something like that. Especially given the state they'd gotten themselves in at Stuart's party. Maybe it hadn't been a bad thing that Jackie decided to go easy on the alcohol. At least he didn't enter the next century completely hammered. Seeing couples out on Valentine's Day causes him to reflect. He spent that day missing Chris, which he had been in two minds about. And Nate. God knows how he'd be able to return home to 1986, if he could at all. Perhaps getting thrown three decades into the future was the thing he needed to sort that mess out internally. The risk of the band going their separate ways because two members broke up sounded more attractive now. Sure beat them disbanding because the drummer disappeared indefinitely or was presumed dead. Yeah, he would split from Chris to be with Nate if he had the chance now. It was the old question niggling in his mind: didn't he deserve to be with the one who made him happier than the other? Not like all that relationship drama mattered much when he had no worldly possessions except for his clothes now. Fuck the shit with those two anyway. He'd rather have Caoimhe in his arms any day. Whatever happens to her with him gone, Jackie hopes she is kept safe and loved. Okay, so maybe he was going to get teary about some things. There was no point exhausting himself with tears regarding all this. How would giving himself a massive headache help matters? It got worse the more he accepted his drastic life change. Dwelling on it all hurt. Bridget, Annette and Spencer must all be adults by now. His friends were in their 50s, like he should be himself. They all must be unrecognisable to him now. Like he said, dwelling on the currently inaccessible past was redundant. Instead, he did his best to find somewhere dry to sleep at night. Days were spent on the lookout for food. At least there was a water fountain near the bus station. It's fine. It's not like this is his first time taking each day as it came. He'll manage, one way or another. It's while Jackie is preoccupied with drinking someone's discarded hot chocolate that a man approaches him. The stranger's curls remind him of how his own hair used to be, prior to its current style. Freckles litter his face too. The smile seems genuine but he's been in this situation before. Jackie decides to cautiously give this stranger the benefit of the doubt. "You know how to play guitar?" American? Canadian? He doesn't know enough about those accents to distinguish them. "...Yes." "Here." The guy holds out his guitar case. "I don't need the change anymore. Got a decent job now and all that." "Thank you but I can't." "You look like you could do with a source of income. Stealing isn't exactly a reliable method of feeding yourself. Which reminds me..." An oat bar is retrieved. Through part of the plastic wrapping, it is visibly crumbling. "I'll admit, not in the best condition. Sorry about that. Still, please take it." Well, don't look a gift horse in the mouth and all that. "Thanks." "No problem. I'm Joel, by the way." He winks, heading a few feet away. "Jackie." The ground crumbles in front of where Joel stood. Straight up vanishes as if it hadn't existed in the first place. It wasn't like Jackie had never met someone with powers before but... it was certainly impressive to see this sort of stuff first hand. The outstretched leg, meant to be taking a step into oblivion, is retracted. There is a pause. Joel turns to face him once more. Still there is continued hesitation. "Listen, I shouldn't be saying this but... things are going to change soon. Just be careful. Anti's about and he likes targeting people who can uh, easily disappear." "Anti?" "There's a killer on the loose and I'd hate to see your face on the news for all the wrong reasons." And like that, Joel hops backwards into the hole. Jackie takes his advice and plays during the day. Playing acoustic guitar simply makes him miss rehearsals with the lads. Guitar wasn't even his instrument. That had been drums. Even so, their type of guitar had been electric. Not much comes from busking. He's rusty, he knows. He continues playing songs he recalls off by heart in the hope of earning a pound here and there. He supposes the public secretly question why he sang nothing but hits from 30 years ago. Days blur. The last time he'd bothered to check the date it had been the 21st. He didn't keep track of how many days ago that was. The wind has been blustery all day. It was for this very reason that Jackie had spent the majority of it as sheltered as he could. He notices a man passing by his spot who seems unaffected by the bad weather. He walks by as if they hadn't been suffering strong winds recently. That's not the only odd thing about the stranger. His choice of fashion is very interesting. His entire outfit is purple apart from the covered half of his face and his gloves. The white mask resembling a cat's face reached the top of his cheeks. To complete the look, the mask extends into triangular ears. Jackie feels the guy hitting his head must hurt even more with those attached. Jackie's presence must have been caught in his peripheral vision. Cat Guy halts and turns to him. Surprise transforms into a warm smile on his face. "Hey, I don't think I've seen you around here before. I'm guessing you haven't been living like this for long?" "About a week or two. Haven't been counting." "Tell me you at least have something to cover yourself with at night." "I try to find somewhere relatively warm. Ish." "Dude, it's February." "Yeah, tell me about it." Cat Guy removes his backpack. From it, he retrieves a water bottle and a blanket. "Good thing I tend to carry some stuff around. Ham or cheese?" "What?" "Sandwich." The stranger presents him with the gifts. Once Jackie takes the blanket and water, the superhero holds out an object encased in tin foil. "I tend to make ham and cheese ones. You're not vegan or a lactose intolerant vegetarian, are you?" "No. I'll uh... take the ham, thanks." "Oh, by the way, what's your name?" He could say John. Or Bartholomew. He doesn't have to say Jackie. Shit, he could say his name was Sean if he wanted, seeing as that was another form of his name. He didn't have to even provide a name that was half true. But eh, fuck it. It's not like this guy will find a Jackie Mann born in Ireland during the late 90s. "Jackie. And what should I call you, Mr Super Cat?" "Super Cat, wow." He laughs. "That's a new one. Well, I'm known as the Magnificent Cat around here. A bunch of people shorten it to Cat." Cat? Yeah, that sounds cool. The superhero carries on with his day a minute or two afterwards. He sees him tossing a sandwich and making brief conversation with the black woman situated on the corner of the street. Mondays and Thursdays rapidly become Jackie's favourite days of the week. Cat always swung by at some point in the day, making sure those living outside had certain necessities like food or some money. He had a habit of apologizing for not being able to give more than £5, as if that was a tiny amount to provide to each homeless person he catered to around the city. They typically talk but it never lasted long before Cat had to carry on with his rounds. Once, the superhero had to excuse himself due to a burglary being reported. Jackie also liked seeing this other guy who kept popping up over the days. They'd first met when Jackie had been performing Billie Jean. Marvin was a really nice, frequently sparing 2 or 3 pounds whenever he passed by Jackie. There were also their conversations. The topic didn't matter. They also varied in length but by far fulfilled his social quota better than Cat's busy schedule could. It was pleasant to have someone to talk to. Either way, he had two people in his corner which was two more than he'd expected. The first week of April is laden with rain. Waking up to a damp blanket sucked but it was hardly like he had anything else to cover himself with. At least it was gradually warming up now. The last thing Jackie wanted was hypothermia, let alone getting sick in general. He must be getting his days mixed up because he thought Cat's last visit was on a Thursday. Yet here he was, walking around as he tended to do. Jackie didn't hear him chatting with anyone else like he'd expected him to. It didn't matter. It was getting fairly late anyway. It wasn't as if Cat was prohibited from strolling around in his costume. Plus, he was under no obligation to be as social as he typically was. Saying hi to him as he passed wouldn't hurt though. "Cat! It's good to have a dry spell in the middle of all this bad weather, huh?" Jackie chuckles. "How are things going?" The superhero halts abruptly at this. It's almost like he didn't expect Jackie to be there. That was a little odd because this was his usual spot. However, he decided to brush it off as Cat having a long day. His theory is further solidified when he doesn't seem as in the mood to talk today. "Hey. Things are good." Cat smiles thoughtfully. "Actually, I've been meaning to show you this new community centre that opened recently. They're letting people sleep there if they want. It's technically within walking distance from here but it's much easier to get there by car. Want me to take you there?" He obliges Cat's generosity. They chat about how foot traffic had significantly dropped in the past few days due to the downpour. Cat points out his black car. He motions to Jackie that he'd be sitting at the back because unfortunately, there was a bunch of clutter in the front. The door is red when he grabs the handle. A couple blinks confirm it is still red. The darkness of the evening must have been confusing his ability to see colours properly. It also may be linked to this headache that's appeared out of nowhere. He really hopes this isn't a sign the rain has negatively affected his health. He'd rather focus on how lovely the interior of Cat's car was. The doors lock internally. He moves his head to direct a remark about it to Cat. Except it's not the superhero at all. There was no costume, only a dark hoodie. The first feature that causes him to stare when Cat faces him were those eyes. Was there even anything other than black in them? The hair too. He's never seen Cat without his mask on but he didn't think it would be dark green. Had Cat looked so pale all those other times? He's not certain. He definitely knows that grin belongs in Hell. "Funny how easily people will follow you if they think you're a friend. Isn't it?"

[pingubarnes-blog]

A meowing dare (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

AN: I was dared by @valkyrieofsmut to do this! Just a warning, I haven’t written a fanfic in YEARS so please don’t be too harsh on my dorky heart! It’s almost 3 am, I couldn’t sleep and this just came out of my head! 

Prompt was from @dangerousvikings Halloween challenge :

#12 I dare you to run in place while meowing for two straight minutes.

Warnings: none...maybe a few curse words? Don’t remember if there’s any to be honest

So yeah...Here is the mess from my head!

You and Bucky had a weird dynamics. There was visible attraction between the two of you, everyone could see it. But the way you two treated each other made people question it.

Random punches in the shoulder were no stranger to you. Making sure to watch out which arm you’re about to hit was a lesson learned the hard way. Let’s just say compound’s freezer and the peas stored in it became your best friends very soon.  Random wedgies were no stranger to Bucky. Making sure not to use his left arm was a lesson learned the hard way. Getting your panties stuck in his arm was not a problem. The problem were your painful screams in his ear and freakishly strong punches he got for tearing another panties of yours. And not in the way that, to you, would be acceptable.  When it came to teaming up against each other in various pranks and dares, you two were horrible. The worse the dare, the better.

Missions with the two of you were a nightmare. You would always fight because you both had a vision on how something should go, but it was never a shared vision. You wanted to be sneaky, he wanted to go straight for the head. You’d want to torture them to get what you want, he would straight up punch them so hard the pain was unbearable and they’d just spill it all. He’d give them a scary-seductive-assassin look and he’d get all the info he needed. You’d talk so much they usually ended up giving you what you want just to make you shut up.  Yeah, you were both successful, but could never have that perfect combo. That Steve and Natasha perfect flow. Tony and Rhodey mind connection. No! You were Bruce and Hulk. Only ten times worse. You were a total mess as a mission duo, but somehow it always ended up as a successful mission.

But when it came to teaming up in prank or dare war against your team mates you were one mind! One devious mind! Or as Natasha would call you: “Sadistic assholes!” There was an ongoing dare/prank war in your team. At first it was all fun and games. Drinking dares, a bit of nudity here and there, karaoke in unexpected places, animal scares. Small things. But you two took it to a whole new level which slowly made one member by one drop out of the whole thing. I mean…Putting fire ants in Hulk’s pants during a mission was kind of funny. He smashed the bad guys in a matter of seconds. Okay, so he did kind of break a public pool cause he jumped in a bit too hard but hey… He saved the day thanks to your and Bucky’s devious mind.

The last ones left in this ridiculous war were you and Bucky. Now was not the time to be predictable. You had to think carefully about this one. Make it simple and unexpected. You were in your own thoughts while searching for some snacks, trying to think of new dare or prank for Bucky. You knew he was just as stubborn as you and he wanted to win this war so your dares had to be embarrassing. All that time, little sexy shit also known as Bucky Barnes, pulled the oldest trick in the book there is. Butter on the floor. In a matter of seconds, your already very graceful self, was all over the kitchen. You looked like a lovechild of a pelican and Tonya Harding. Skating through the kitchen while waving your arms like you’re about to take a leap into the pretty blue sky. Bucky was almost pissing himself from laughter, but you managed to stop yourself in a way he did not expect. Grabbing onto his thighs and holding on to them for dear life. Way too close to places your hands touched only in his wildest dreams. Your anger and will to strangle him right there and then vanished the moment you saw Bucky Barnes get flustered and choking on his own breath. It was kind of cute. Okay, it was very cute. You wanted to pinch those flushed cheeks and peck his nose.

You were not blind. You could tell he liked the way you looked. You often caught his eyes roaming your body and him checking you out. His tongue would wet his lips when you were talking and his eyes bore into you. You could tell he liked you cause these were the same things you did when he was in the room. Your crush, as of recently, started to be more than a crush. Those stupid butterflies attacked your belly every time he opened his mouth. His jokes were suddenly becoming funny to you and those eyes. Well those eyes will be the death of you one day, you were sure of that. You could tell he was touch starved by the way he would hug those little pillows that were all over the place. He loved soft things such as that fluffy cardigan he still claims he has no idea how it ended up in his room. He was a big traumatised fluffy softie with a sadistic twist. Your type of man. However, that did not mean you’d go easy on him. Mamma did not raise a soft bitch! You had to play dirty. So you’d sometimes touch his arm and your touch would linger just long enough to get him to blush. You’d casually fix his hair, walk with a bit more sway to your hips around him. And used the oldest and cheesiest trick in the book. You sucked a lot of lollipops around him. Poor guy forgot all about his plans to mess with you cause you messed with his head, his heart and other body parts.

___________________________________________________

It was 3am when an alarm woke Bucky up. Mission back up alert. Steve and Natasha needed back up and they needed it fast. Bucky quickly got dressed and ran to jet that was going to take him to where Steve and Natasha were. Already waiting, there were you. No makeup, hair in ponytail and wearing that damn sexy tight suit that looked anything but comfortable. “Hello Rapunzel, glad you graced us with your presence.” The ever sarcastic word vomit coming from you. “Shut up Y/N it’s too early for…for…well for you!” He said pointing at you up and down and turning his head to computer giving him all the info about mission he needed.

The ride was quiet. Focus was what you needed at times like these. No bickering, no teasing. Silence. Something that was rare when you and Bucky were in the same room.  As you landed, Bucky stood in front of the door ready to jump out of the jet when all of a sudden you just had to do it. You slapped that round perky ass that was staring at you. He froze. His colour draining from his face. “Have you been working out?” You asked with a wink.

“I…Wha…” His mind was blank. Was this payback for that butt pinch he gave you a while ago? You knew that was part of the dare. Wait? Did you like him? Were all those things you did for the past week flirting or…?

“Come on Elsa! We have to go and save our girlfriends!”

“What? Jesus Y/N I swear to god, you are not in your right mind.” Bucky shook his head, a smile escaping him as he ran after you.

The fight was brutal and for the first time in a while you two were perfectly cooperating. Avoiding punches, cooperating, killing a few baddies. It was all good until, out of nowhere, you ran into a trap. Room filled with electric walls and you were surrounded by way to many agents to fight them off all by yourself. Steve and Nat were nowhere to be heard, your coms were blocked.

So this is how you die…You are going to die without having banged Barnes or trying those perfect choco rum cupcakes Wanda was talking about. Damn it.

“I dare you to run in place while meowing for two straight minutes.” You heard Bucky’s voice. “What?!” “I dare you to run in place while meowing for two straight minutes.” Bucky repeated leaving you stunned.  “What the hell is wrong with you?! We’re about to die and you are giving me a fucking dare?! Hydra really did mess up your brain.” You spoke through heavy breaths while trying to fight off agents coming at you.  “Just do it Y/N. I have a plan. Please! And if we make it alive, you’re a champion!” He smirked as he killed another agent.  “Uuuugh FINE!!!!!” So you did it. You started running in place while meowing. At least you’ll die any minute now anyway so the embarrassment won’t last.

To say that agents were confused was understatement. They were not sure if it was a robot. If you were just insane or had a similar past as Winter Soldier and some type of reset was hit in you and this, whatever it was, happened. In those two minutes of that insanity, Bucky managed to get to control box and do some quick rewiring. “Doll get on the floor!” You did it without hesitation as Bucky connected two wires and created some type of electric magnetic field that knocked out everyone standing up.

___________________________________________________________

The ride on the yet was filled with laughter as Bucky was telling Steve and Nat how funny Y/N looked while doing her crazy cat routine. Even Y/N laughed. It was funny, she’ll give him that. As they were getting out of the jet, Bucky pulled her to side, nodding to Steve and Nat to leave them alone.

“Thank you for trusting me out there! I noticed the box and the only thing that came to me was a weird dare to distract them. I really did not mean to embarrass you.” Bucky said honestly.

“Bucky Barnes, are you blushing?” She noticed his rosy cheeks making another adorable appearance.

“Wha…No…Doll stop that. Don’t look at me like that. I’m just trying to…” He did not finish the thought. Those soft lips he dreamed of were on his.  He saw stars. Lots of them. Galaxies. And kittens and puppies. He tasted chocolate cookies. Wait no…that was her lips gloss.

“Thank you for saving us Barnes! I could never be mad at you. Well…for too long!” She winked at him and started leaving, but he was faster.

One thing led to another and all the pent up sexual tension between them was out in the open. They barely made it to his room. Crashing into walls, knocking out vases in hallways. They were a mess waiting for this moment to happen for so long. Bucky could not remember when was the last time he took his clothes off so quickly.

“Bucky get those off, I need you! I need you so bad!!” She moaned into his neck, bodies trembling with need for each other. He was completely naked, his hands were all over her body and her hands touching him in all the places he imagined all those months ago.

“Bucky…”She whispered into his ear seductively as she gently bit him and squeezed his perfectly naked perky ass.

“I dare you to run in place while meowing for two straight minutes.”

 TAGS: @valkyrieofsmut  @dangerousvikings

[iwritekpopthings]

Drunkenness (pt. 9)

Characters: You, Yongguk

Genre/ warnings: Smut

Word Count: 2415

“Why won't you tell me where we’re going?” You asked Yongguk, loving the little smile that came up on his face.

“Because its a secret.” He said, leaning in to emphasize his point.

The two of you had gotten on the train early that morning. So it had to be somewhere far enough away that his scooter wouldn't be practical. The only flaw in Yongguk’s plan was that it was rush hour in Seoul. And there was a festival going on. The trains were packed with tourists and business people. You stood in a corner near a door while he faced you, shielding you from the discomfort of getting squished by strangers. As the train made an unusually sharp turn, he put his hands out on the wall behind you in order to keep his balance.

Yongguk smiled and used the opportunity to get a little closer. You looked at him and suddenly leaned forward, pecking him on the lips. “I'll hold you for stability.” You said, putting your hands on his waist in a way that just didn't quite seem like you were really being that nice. His ears turned red as he glanced around, but no one seemed to care about what you two were doing in your little corner.

“You're lucky we’re in public.” He said lowly in your ear. You shivered a little and pulled him closer as a bump caused many other people to push against him.

“You don't have to do this.” You reminded him for the hundredth time. You nodded to his hand on the wall as your thumbs drew circles at his waist. “I'm a big kid, I can handle getting close to a few people. I'm not that delicate.”

This was an old arguement for the two of you, though. And Yongguk had eventually learned the best ways to answer your complaints. “I know, baby. I know you are tough as hell.” He leaned in and kissed you, moving to have your body flush against his. “You've wrestled me to the ground on more than one occasion. But I want to do this. I like protecting you; it makes me feel like I'm doing my job as your partner. You wouldn't want to take that away from me, would you??” He used his damn eyes to coerce you, pulling you in until you gave in with a sigh.

“Fine, I guess it's okay this time.” You conceded once again as the train began to slow down.

He smiled at you and kissed your forehead. “Thank you, baby.”

At this station, many people got off of the train. But you both stayed on.

“So since I gave in, you'll tell me where we're going, right?” You persisted. The train continued along its loop around the city.

He laughed with his gummy smile and shook his head. “Nope. Nice try, though.” You sighed in defeat and settled in, resting your head on his shoulder.

Yongguk led you through the streets of Seoul to Cheonggyecheon, an area you hadn’t really had a chance to explore to yet. Along the way he talked about anything but where you were going. “... And that's the story of how Himchan lost his eyebrows one winter.”

“Yongguk. You are driving me crazy-”

“I know.” He smiled, pleased with himself.

“Seriously, just tell me-”

“Here we are.” He rounded the corner and stopped. You looked around. There were lanterns and signs up everywhere, advertising the start of the Seoul lantern festival today.

“The festival?” You looked at him. As you thought about it, you didn't know whether he even liked things like festivals or not. Probably not, since it involved so many people. “What made you choose this?”

He smiled and pulled you along by the hand. “It was something we hadn't really done. Junhong told me about it a few weeks ago and it seemed interesting.”

You were a little confused but willing to go along with pretty much anything as long as you could be with him. “Alright, let's do it!”

Yongguk smiled in relief, glad that you approved of his choice. He pulled you along and the two of you began to explore the town.

As night came, so did more people. Crowds grew around street vendors and dancers, making the city really come alive. Music played from all around as you came upon the main venue.

As you walked along the path, you would both stop at every bar stall you saw. Each time, you ordered different drinks. Eventually you were holding onto Yongguk a little more than before.

“Hey, okay, but..” You paused as you got distracted by some people in weird outfits. You continued, bumping into Yongguk accidently. “But, like, how are you not drunk? Its not fair if I'm the only one having fun.”

He tried to hold his smile in. “I am having a good time. And I don't know. I just have a strong tolerance for alcohol, I guess.”

“That's what you always say. That's what you want me to think! But really, really, you're just as drunk as I am but you're just.. You're just better at hiding it.” You squinted at him suspiciously and he lost his composure, laughing out loud.

“You're right, you got me.” He adoringly gave you the concession you wanted and you grinned.

“Haha! I knew it!” You gave him a sideways hug. But rather than letting go, you just walked sideways while he continued down the path. He laughed again. You could actually tell that he was at least feeling tipsy, just by how loud he was laughing. “By the way, where are we sleeping tonight? Is it under a bridge? ‘Cause we haven't done it there yet--”

Yongguk put his hand over your mouth. “Sorry to disappoint, but its a hotel. We can do a bridge next time.” He let go of your face and turned you to walk facing forward.

“Woo! Okay, let's go.”

Directly after getting into the room, you and Yongguk both flopped on your backs onto the bed. As you stared at the ceiling for a moment, you felt the bed dip as Yongguk rolled toward you.

“Hey.” He said rather quietly.

“Hey~” You looked toward him.

“Okay, so there's this reeeeally hot girl next to me and I don't know how to handle it.” He told you with a straight face. “I can't keep my eyes off her. What do you think I should do?”

You giggled but tried to reply seriously. “Hmm… well I think your fiance might have a problem with that girl.”

“That's okay, I'll tell her later.” He said nonchalantly. As you were about to respond, he rolled on top of you, straddling your thighs with his face close to yours.

He leaned in, kissing you slowly, tilting his head to get the best angle. He braced himself with his forearms and his hands moved the sides of your face, stroking your cheeks just as slow as the kiss.

You moaned against his lips, bringing your hands up to his shoulders. You tried to pull him down, but he wouldn't budge. You pulled at his lip, and grabbed at the back of his shirt. If he wasn't going to come to you, you would bring your body to his.

As you attempted this, Yongguk broke off the kiss, laughing in amusement. “You want me on you that bad?” He asked, letting his lips move to your neck.

“Fuck yes” You breathed, already imagining the feeling. Before he gave in to your wants, he kissed along your skin to your collarbone. He sucked on you hard and you brought your hands up to grab his hair. “Yongguk..”

He finally ended up bringing his body closer, but not close enough. He was teasing and it was driving you crazy. In desperation, you worked his shirt off of him, not necessarily being gentle. You slid your fingers along his skin, drawing out patterns lightly. You enjoyed feeling his slight shiver and you grinned.

He pulled away, giving you The Look™. “Hey, don't look at me like that, Yongguk. You're doing the same thing to me.”

He huffed, annoyed that you had trapped him like this. “Alright, you wanna do this? Let’s do this.”

“What are we doing?”

He smirked as his hands went to the buttons of your pants. “You'll figure it out. You're a big kid, right?” You rolled your eyes but allowed him to get your pants off. He stood up to take off the rest of his clothes as slowly as possible.

“Oh stop that.” You stood up and pushed his hands away, unhooking his belt and everything within 3 seconds. But this left his hands free long enough to get your shirt up over your head. You whined, struggling to get it off as he quickly went behind you.

“Mmm, baby, you smell so good…” He murmured quietly into your ear as his hands came around to the front of your thighs, tracing your pantyline lightly. You exhaled heavily, letting your head fall back onto his shoulder. He brought his fingers to the wet spot already seeping through your underwear. He started to rub you just lightly enough to torture you.

“Ugh” You groaned, pushing your hips down against his hand. But he pulled away, dragging his damp fingers along your skin. He stopped at your bra cups, letting his fingers follow that line lightly all the way to your back. He snapped the band against your skin before unhooking it and letting it fall.

Figuring out his game, you turned around to face him. As lightly as you could, you dragged your fingers from his hips up to his nipples. You pressed in slightly before pulling your hands away. You then stepped up closer to him, pressing your boobs against his chest.

You smiled up at him as you let your nails scratch along his back. Then you laughed, unable to be serious. “Stop poking me, Yongguk.” You giggled and hugged him, resting your forehead on his shoulder.

“And here I thought we were going to have a nice, steamy round of sex.” He said, rolling his eyes as he hugged you back.

You continued to giggle against his skin as you kissed your way up his neck to his lips. You kissed him, trying to be serious for two seconds. “We could still do the sex part.” You mumbled against his lips. You pushed your body along his, his hard on still pressing against you.

Yongguk shook his head in disbelief, brushing his lips against yours. In truth, he was feeling a little giggly himself. But he wouldn’t let that show right now. He moved his hands down to grab your butt. “Are you sure? Can you stop laughing long enough to do that?” He was already pushing your underwear down, letting the last piece of clothing fall to the floor.

“Let’s find out.” You looked him in the eyes, raising your eyebrows in a challenging way at him. You brought your hands down and grabbed his member, stroking slowly as you tried not to laugh.

“Okay, yeah, that’s not gonna work.” He told you. Yongguk took your wrists and pulled your hands away. He then pushed you backward toward the bed.

When you felt the bed against the back of your legs, you twisted your wrists free and jumped onto the mattress, crawling away from him in delightful terror. “You can’t catch m-”

He was faster than you and had climbed up and grabbed you by the hips before you could escape. “I think I just did.” He looked down at you and grinned, realizing the position the two of you were in. You looked up at him from being on your hands and knees, coming to this realization at the same time. “This will work.” He smirked at you before guiding his member into your dripping entrance.

“Oh fuck..” You moaned, your arms feeling weak already.

Both of his hands held your hips as he began to thrust forward with rough strokes. He moaned, licking his lips and closing his eyes. He slid in all the way, his skin hitting yours with every thrust. “Damn you feel so good..” He said in his low voice, turning you on even more.

“Yongguk…” You gripped at the sheets as you felt your orgasm getting close. He continued to thrust into you but leaned forward, kissing the skin of your back. He sucked and nipped at you while he moved his hips in short, fast thrusts. His hands came around your body, running along your stomach and breasts repeatedly. He squeezed your breasts roughly before getting upright again. His fingers dug into your hips as he pushed and pulled you faster and faster.

His member slid along your walls just right, filling you up completely. He was going so hard that you almost lost your balance. Your head fell back and you let out increasingly louder moans every time he pounded into you. He could feel your muscles clenching around him and he bit his lip, working hard to not lose his rhythm. Suddenly his orgasm crashed into him and he released inside you, moaning your name. At the feeling of his hot cum swirling inside you, your breathing hitched and you came hard, shaking, your hands curling into fists. Yongguk continued to slowly thrust into you occasionally, drawing out both of your orgasms. Eventually you began to feel over-stimulated, every nerve becoming more alive than before.

You let your arms give out and fell forward, his dick pulling out of you in the process. You landed heavily on the bed, your eyes closed as you tried to catch your breath. You felt the mattress dip as Yongguk moved to lie next to you, also out of breath.

You opened your eyes to look at him and he returned your gaze. “Well damn.” You licked your lips and slowly rolled onto your back.

Yongguk followed you, rolling until he was halfway lying on top of you, making you laugh. “So I have a confession.” He said, pulling away to look at you. You looked at him curiously and waited for him to continue. “So there was this really hot girl-”

You smacked his arm and laughed. “Dork.” You reached up and held the sides of his head. “I love you.” You pulled him down for a kiss and he smiled, kissing you back with equal passion. ★☆★☆★☆

[hdawg1995]

yes hello i only ever done fanfiction ONCE on tumblr so forgive me.

The Cognitive net; a Persona 4 and Persona 5 cross over fanfic with OCs. Summary:

When a string of missing persons cases all seem to be linked by a far too familiar rumor, detective shirogane tries to enlist the help of her old investigation team. Unfortunately, not all of the original members are able to make it to shibuya-the sight of the latest case- but she finds help from an unexpected hacker and her friends. Elsewhere, a small team of brand new persona users have already figured out the “cognitive web” and it’s strange search engine. Will detective Shirogane and the hacker Alibaba discover the new group of heroes in time to realize this case is not city wide, but WORLD wide?

Chapter 1: intro/Logging in

1/2/3/4/5

“This is a bad idea.” yuki thought as he gripped his phone a bit tighter.

Sitting in the café he knew his friends used to hang out in all the time was calming him like he had hopped it would be, but the very idea of what he was doing was making the task near impossible.

“I heard if you go to this website, Cogntive.net, a search engine will come up and it will give you anything you want!”

The voice of the gossiping girl rang in the former high schooler’s head as he took a sip of coffee.

“No way, that’s ridiculous! I heard it can give you what you want with just a one word search too. I call bull shit.”

Yuki carefully typed the URL on Le Blanc’s Wi-Fi. Something spurred him on as he hit enter.

“This feels familiar…” he thought as the black screen with the bold white letters came up. “…I have to stop. This isn’t going to end well…” he set the cup down and stared at the screen a moment longer.

It had been two years since the blood rain and the bone like structures. He wasn’t sure why he was able to remember it all- when he had asked others he knew were there and he knew who saw it they acted like it didn’t happen.

The white letters burned into his eyes. “What are you looking for?” it asked. The chatter of the TV and other café goers drowned out the dark blue haired boy’s voice of reason. As memories of his second year of high school and events that surrounded it flooded his mind he found his fingers hovering over the key board his phone provided. He didn’t even remember tapping the text box under the words.

{Answers}

The world around him grew silent the instant he hit enter, as if the café had to pause to acknowledge him and the horrible mistake he made. When yuki looked up from his phone he saw it was just him and his booth- the coffee cup and people all gone. All around him the world was dark with hints of red fog far too thin to see properly. He gasped and tried to stand up when a hand reached out from the screen of his phone.

“Answers? haha! Heres a few…” the hand grasped at Yuki’s Neck and made contact with his shirt collar. The boy reflexively braced himself against the booth table as the hand pulled down back towards the phone. “Yes. This was a bad idea.” The voice stated as it tugged with more force, but yuki pushed back with just as much strength. “yes. You should have stopped while you had the chance, Yuki.” The boy gasped again and shot up with enough force to drag more of the arm out of the phone. The voice was distorted and slightly staticy, but it was his without a doubt. “And the reason WHY it feels so familiar, Yuki Mishima…” the voice trailed off as the arm released him, sending him falling backward into what should have been the booth’s cushioned seat. Instead he was on the floor looking up in horror as the arm pushed against the table, from what he could see of his phone the screen and casing stretched like rubber and a second arm broke free.

“…is because it IS like two years ago! HAHA! That feeling of reality morphing around you? You’re experiencing it all over again!” the second arm gripped the phone case as yuki back pedaled away. “And the reason why YOU remember, why YOU are the ONLY one out side of the phantom thieves to remember it all-“ a head broke though the screen, the sound of something shattering and the feeling of shards breaking apart in mishima’s heart and mind caused the boy to freeze in his tracks “-is because we have unfinished business, Me!” the yellow eyes of yuki’s shadow stared at him with a mix of excitement…and anger.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

else where, a group of friends chatted away at both some ungodly hour of the night and a reasonable time of day.

“Ugh I just want to reach this level! Why do I have to wait 3 hours to gain EXP in this stupid game?” the young man ruffled his hair, causing his head set to shift and the mic to brush his cheek a few times.

“Dude calm down.” a younger voice laughed over the headphone speakers.

“hes just frustrated he can’t push forward. It’s a magician thing, we wouldn’t understand.”

“wait hold on, does that mean I’m The Magician?” the boy leaned forward and gripped his computer chair as the various voices in his headset laughed. “Alpha don’t mess with me!”

A girl laughs a little harder at the comment. She leans back in her chair and reaches for a small toy rabbit and fiddles with it. Chelsea smiles as her friends continue to tease the second oldest of their group over his obsession with the various arcana she revealed they all represent.

“Jake, if anyone’s the Magician its me!” a clearly snarky voice purred into her mic.

Janae turned in her computer chair, propping her legs up over one arm and dangling the rest of her upper body over the other arm.

“Oh really? What makes you so sure?” Jake closes out his computer game and clicks around his screen, checking tabs to see if there is anything interesting on them. The answer is no.

“cause I’M the sexy one and everyone knows Magicians are sexy as fuck!”

“uh-huh. Sure.”

The voice chat grows a little quit at the soft voice. Isaiah taps his pencil on his note book as he struggles to understand his maths homework.

“so how are those numbers treating you, Click?”

“About the same as your boyfriend treats you, Skitty.”

“ooohh!”

“sick burn!”

“its funny cause I don’t have one lol!”

The chat erupts with laughter as the youngest of the group goes back to his work. To be honest it was a funny joke and as long as he kept comments like that heterosexual then he wouldn’t be crossing any lines. It wasn’t something he thought much of, but the brit took pride in the fact that he knew Skitty’s secret of being bi- he was honored that she trusted him with that knowledge and wouldn’t do anything to betray her.

“haha, guess that means you’re stuck again Click?” jake decided to close out his 5 tabs and just keep the voice chat open as he pulled out his phone. He glanced at an orange and green icon on his desktop before unlocking the hand held device.

“….Erica lives in London and wants to hold a video chat with her business partner, Richard in Michigan. Erica is available from 0600 to 2000 and Richard is available from 11am to 8pm. Knowing the difference in time zones, what would be a good time for the two to have a 3 hour video call?...”

The voices was silent, listening intently to the problem. The barrier of math between the different countries rarely got in the way when it came to explaining the word problems. Although most of the time no one knew the answer, reading the question out load and hearing his friends discus it cleared his head and helped him figure out the problem.

“Dude why the H did your teacher put military time in that question?” Skitty moaned as she pulled out her phone and tapped the calculator app.

“probably to make him think more. I bet the answer is really simple once you calculate the time.” Jake was already translating the time on his phone, eyes flicking to the desktop icon again- he had a strange impulse to look at it, even though if anything would happen it would send an alert that’ll take up most if not all of his computer screen.

“wait. Isn’t alpha from Michigan?” Skitty flips herself back into a proper position in the chair.

“no shes from Japan.” Jake mutters as he pulls up the voice chat’s text box and types the numbers his calculator gives him. it was simple math he could easily do in his head but some things are just that trivial.

“nooo,” Isaiah moved his pencil to wag it at the computer screen “shes FROM Michigan, but shes STAYING in Japan with a family friend.”

“[that’s right]” Alpha tested the very little Japanese she knew. The chat gasped and giggled. Placing the rabbit toy back on her desk she paused as the very sudden swear from the other American.

“Shit! The site got a hit!”

All at once the sound of keys typing and well warn and used mouse clicking filled the voice chat. Jake stared intently at his computer screen while Click and Skitty readied themselves. Alpha pinged them with a string of numbers.

“I traced the IP address. Good Job Jake, this thing is actually really easy to use!”

“No problem!... so it looks like they haven’t entered anything into the search bar yet…”

Janae licked her lips nervously; she hoped against the enviable- that this person was using the rumored “miracle search engine” to find something only their shadow could give them. She didn’t understand much about it, being the latest member and all, but what she did understand was if people go to the cognitive net search engine and enter something vague like a one or two word search the site would bring them to their shadow- an exaggeration of their inner thoughts and heart. Hers was a doppelganger of herself with cute kitty ears and yellow eyes. In the end the Admins (that’s what they called themselves) arrived and talked down her shadow. It wasn’t something she wanted other people to see but talking to complete strangers made accepting the hyper dumb scatter brained cat as a part of her. She insisted on joining them after that, I mean what else would she do? She ended up getting a persona after all. Gatta use it for something…

“Hey cool! The IP is a café! They’re on public wifi! If they have a shadow this will make it much easier to find their dungeon!” Isiah bounced in his seat at this realization. “…huh. Le blanc. That’s such a French sounding name for a place in Japan!”

“Japan?” Chelsea relaxed a bit, her white knuckled grip on the computer mouse loosening. “that’s… that’s like the 4th one.” She pondered this a moment before Jake’s voice boomed in her ears.

“They’re typing in the search bar! Get ready to jump guys!” Jake was the computer wizard of the group. It was terrifying the things he could do with whatever he did with his computer. Alpha and Click always asked to try and understand but never could. He swallowed the frog in his throat as he watched the victim’s screen. “They’re accessing from a cell phone…” he muttered into his mic. He had everything he needed when it came to this kind of stuff and was prepared for the worse but that never made it easier.

{Answers}

“Shit.” Was the collective reaction at the one word search quarry. Double clicking the orange and green icon on their desk tops, the four friends were warped into the cognitive web- the inner workings of the internet and cyber space made physical.

The trip to the cognitive web felt like having a heavy blanket wrapped around you before being pushed off your bed- you’re half aware of your surroundings, half dreaming, but 100% confused. For AlphaDawg and her right hand man ClickClickBoom the confusion was no longer a thing. This would be rescue number 10 and the pair landed with ease, their respective ‘Avatars’ shaping with quick blinks of binary. For J4K3-06 and xXSkittyXx, the trip was much rougher. J4k3 tumbled into existence, his avatar appearing more like a glitch. As for Skitty, this was her first ever mission, her first ever trip into the web. With a shout of panic she fell from the digital sky, her body flickering into what she’ll look like on the internet.

“Hang on Skitty! I got ya gurl!” Click leaped forward, the fire design on his sneakers flickering like actual flames as he sped up to catch her in time.

The pair ended up crashing into the ground anyway, but Skitty had a much softer landing than Click. The sound of static filled the area as Skitty sat up, her avatar struggling to form.

“Did I break it? I just got here! Ugh this blows…” the girl grumbled as the boy under her groaned.

“No, just… focus on something. You’re thinking too much.”

Staring at her hands the second youngest of the Admins focused on nothing in particular. She mostly cleared her head and thought about what she really wanted to be in this world. A hero came to mind, but the image of an Idol came next. Cute outfits, boys going goo goo crazy, bright lights and being the center of attention? Hell yeah! She would make a great idol!

Instantly the binary pixilated and formed before a proper avatar replaced the girl. She sprung to her feet and let out a victorious yowl.

“nayn!~ I’m adorable!” she spun in a circle, taking in her very cat like idol outfit.

“oh good! Now you’re even MORE in that weird ‘I didn’t know Skitty was a pokemon’ hole you keep finding yourself in.” a robotic boy laughed as he helped haul the bomb themed boy to his feet.

“what do you mean? Ugh! Don’t tell me Skitty is some sort of pink cat!”

“it is. It also evolves into-“ Alpha was cut off at the pink of Skitty’s outfit shifted a shade.

“-a purple cat.”

“DAMN IT!”

The Admins laughed with their friend before addressing their leader. With a swift nod the wolf themed girl turned to reveal a pink rabbit that stood at her knee cap. The creature had a similar wolf/punk theme going for it, but in a much cuter way than the human.

“Alright Side Kick, what are we dealing with?”

“Actually, open the chat room first! I have a feeling our mysterious assistant is watching.” The toy motioned with their eyes to a random structure. When the group looked towards it they all stared with shock and awe. Stood on the comically thin antenna of a building was an equally comical stereotypically posed ninja. The group couldn’t make out any sort of details outside of the silhouette- it was like he knew what distance to be at to be in their render view but still be out of range.

Alpha regarded the ninja for a moment before nodding. The plan was to use the chat room to give Mr. Mysterious a chance to convene with them. She knew deep down he wouldn’t respond to anything they said, but essentially leaving the door open and hope he comes in from the cold wouldn’t hurt.

“Alright. Let the 10th rescue meeting begin, Cognitive Web Admins!”

[bringthestories]

Hi there~ do you think you can maybe do protective Jin/Jimin?

Of course I can love! I’m super excited to get this blog started! OMG

I finished writing Jimin’s scenario and I’m now working on Jin’s but I thought why let you wait for this when it’s already done? SO here you go! (Jin’s will follow soon promise!) I hope this is kind of what you meant by protective?

It’s my first ever fanfiction so it’s probably crap (especially the dialogue) but I still really hope you like it! If not send me another ask and I’ll redo it

Back off 

Jimin x ReaderWords: ~1,400Keywords: Jealous Jimin

Trigger warning: sexual harrassment, violence

Geez, do you ever shut up?! you thought as the lighting assistant intern kept telling you about his oh so important work on set. You didn’t even remember his name, but you had noticed how he kept eying you from across the room during the set up for a v-live show BTS was about to do. 

You were on set because you started seeing Jimin about a month or so ago although you weren’t official yet. Honestly, you hardly had chances to meet and spend some time in private because his schedule was super tight AND you had to keep it secret. This means no cute dates in cafes or holding hands or any public display of affection really. No, this means Jimin sneaking you on sets pretending to be staff so you get to spend at least some time together. Romantic, I know but as much as you were yearning to be public, you knew that it’s best for everyone this way, at least for now. 

And really, it was cute. It was cute how he looked at you when no one else was watching, how he gave you little smiles and accidentally brushed your hand when grabbing something next to you. It was cute how he always tried to have you near, even if you barely interacted. It kept it exciting. Even now, after a month of dating, you still felt the butterflies in your stomach whenever you saw him and you knew he felt the same way by the shy smiles he gave you. You loved those. There was nothing like watching his eyes crinkle up to the point where they’re almost closed whenever you caught him staring and then watching him look away, blushing. You couldn’t deny you were the happiest person on earth whenever you were with him. So what if it was in secret, he made sure you met a lot. 

However, there was one problem with the secrecy. Only one. One big one. It was the fact that no one else knew you were taken. Sure, all the other members knew, their managers knew and probably most of the other BigHit employees knew too since you were in an out of the building a lot, but outside of that circle? You were a… “fish in the sea” so to say.

Like right now. This random stranger had started talking to you the second the show started and he was released from his set-up duties. He jumped at the opportunity to talk to you when you went to grab a drink and he’s been telling you about himself ever since.You sipped your water and let your eyes wander across the room searching for someone to save you, but everyone was busy making sure things ran smoothly. After all, BTS was live! You sighed in defeat and accepted your fate, halfheartedly listening to what the intern was telling you. Soon enough he kept moving closer to you. He evolved to occasionally touching your shoulder and arm making more and more uncomfortable. Looking for an escape plan your eyes fell on Jimin. He was sitting next to his Hyungs supposedly answering questions for the live interview however, he was clearly not focused on that at all. Instead, he was intensely staring at you and the stranger who was leaning in closely. Way too close. Way too touchy. 

If looks could kill the intern would be long gone. The thought of him being this jealous made you smile a little to yourself when the sudden feeling of a hand on your back made you jump out of your thoughts. “Hey Y/N! Are you even listening?” the boy said while his hand moved towards your waist. “Or are you just that shy?” he continued, with a smug smile on his face that made you want to slap him hard. You could see Jimin tensing up even more than before, his knuckles white from fighting the urge to rush over and kick some ass.

“Ah, I’m sorry! I.. uh I got distracted. Come again?” you replied hurriedly, not wanting to cause a scene. You tried to shuffle away but he held on to your waist tightly, leant in even closer and continued to talk. You were sure now that he knew exactly you were not interested- but he didn’t plan on letting you go. A hint of panic came over you when you felt his hand creep downwards.

“So yeah- we all worked really hard on the comeback! I hope ARMY will enjoy our new songs and stream them a lot!” Rap monster was saying to the camera, slowly bringing the v-live stream to an end. “We’re really excited for the promot-”

This is when he was interrupted.

“YAH!” 

With a loud thud, the chair he was sitting on fell over. Jimin had suddenly jumped up and informally yelled at a staff member. The others had noticed him not being focused and had deliberately not asked him to answer any questions in hopes the viewers wouldn’t notice. Now, this.  “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” he yelled as he was rushing past the camera towards his girlfriend. With a little too much force, he pushed the guy who stumbled backwards and fell into the drink table.

After the initial shock moment, the entire room was in a sudden state of uproar. Some people were desperately trying to save the situation and abruptly ending the broadcast while others, including the members, rushed over to the scene and tried to calm the situation down. “SHE’S MY GIRLFRIEND YOU BASTARD!”

Jimin had completely lost it when the guy had moved his hand further down and grabbed your butt. Now you were trying to pull your boyfriend away and with the help of Jungkook somehow managed to drag him to an adjacent room. Now he was pacing up and down trying to calm down and everyone was slowly processing what had happened. You could already imagine all the headlines this would cause.

BTS’ Park Jimin lost it during a live broadcast and pushed a staff member into a table. Oh god.

“I’m sorry Y/N.”Jimin stood in front of you. His face read a messy mixture of emotions. So much had happened so suddenly that it was hard to think of something to say.“When I saw him… You know… He touched you a-and you looked so scared … I don’t know … I couldn’t stop myself!”You could see the frustration building up in him again. “I know I should’ve kept my composure! I caused such a scene- how am I supposed to save this. I’m so sorry Y/N.”He looked down, obviously still very upset about what had happened.“No… thank you Jimin.” He looked at you in surprise and you gave him a soft smile. “I mean I don’t know what will happen next but I’m sure we’ll work it out!” you tried to reassure him. “I know we haven’t… said this before…” you continued. “but… I love you, Park Jimin, I really do. That’s why I know we’ll work this out! I promise it’ll be okay.”You could see the tension suddenly leaving his body as he stared at you for a few seconds before replying. “I love you too Y/N.”You fell into a hug and stayed like that for a bit until people started coming in looking for him.He pulled away and smiled at you. “I think it’s time people know you’re mine and mine only.”

You knew things would get a bit messy for a while now, but secretly you were happy that your secret was not so secret anymore.

[meepface]

hello my gf is on vacation for two weeks and i already miss her a whoooooole lot and i am starting to feel sad about it but i told myself i was not allowed to sit here and think about it so i am doing this to distract myself! don’t mind me!

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

yesss

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

theoretically yes if i wasn’t with my girlfriend, but i’m not planning on breaking up with her lmao so

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

yesterday i think

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

of course?? i always smile at strangers

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

not anymore that i know of

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Africa by Toto came on and reminded me of my friend Kate bc we listen to it all the time lmfao

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

literally only underwear lmao

8. How often do you listen to music?

literally all the time

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans but only bc the sweats i have don’t go w many of my outfits lmao

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

i haven’t felt alive since 2012

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

i hate the word antisocial lmfao but i am more introverted for sure. i am trying to work on being more social bc i would like to make some more new friends

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

no

13. What about ‘R’?

no

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

no

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

i wish i didn’t but i do

16. Are you going out of town soon?

no, not until either spring break or the summer, probably

17. When was the last time you cried?

i teared up a little earlier today but the last time i cried was yesterday when i was saying bye to my gf lmao i am a baby but i am in love with her and i’m gonna miss her

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah, a few people but only one in like, the love love way

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

nope

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

my brother

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

my gf being gone has been on my mind way too much, i know she’s gonna have fun though. i think i’ll stop thinking about it so much once she’s finally landed there and i know she’s made it safely

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

it’s cute when girls do it too

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

nope, it was my friend w the boyfriend i don’t like but we had a really nice talk and i’ve been on the fence on whether i should keep trying to stay her friend or if i should start to drop her as a friend and that conversation made me realize i don’t completely want to give up on her yet

24. What are you sitting on right now?

my bed

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

my girlfriend, my friends

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

yes a few times

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

my girlfriend

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

not really but lately i’ve felt sick for like the past month, but i literally don’t have time to be sick so i’ve been ignoring it forever and it hasn’t ever gone away so now i’m like, used to it lmao

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

i’m not wearing one lmfao but the one i was wearing today was from H&M and i got three compliments on it!!

30. Does anyone hate you?

i have a small amount of people who dislike me (i avoid causing problems at any cost) but i don’t think anyone hates me

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

i did but it wasn’t really hidden bc my parents wouldn’t care if they found it lmao i had just been too lazy to take it back to the kitchen so i put it in a drawer

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

yesss i love them

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

absolutely not

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

this year has been the worst year of my life so i want to say this one, but i also grew a lot as a person this year so idk. if not this year then none

35. Did you have a dream last night?

yeah but i don’t remember it anymore

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

i told my gf through text about 30 mins ago

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

i don’t know, i am a little afraid of marrying too soon and 25 feels sorta too soon

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

yesss my gf

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

i don’t know

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

i did, even though i got really sad that my gf was leaving i had a good time with her, and i had a good time at work w my favorite coworker and with my best friend after that, and then with my family in the evening

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

yep

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

yeah my friends and i are all hanging out tomorrow most of the day and doing all sorts of stuff and i’m soooo excited to have Plans and be Busy and not Alone in my room

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yes

44. What’s the best part about school?

friends !!! and also i love that i’m finally taking classes in things i’m really interested in in college now so that is really fun. i love my school and the atmosphere there and it’s a very happy place for me

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

yes

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

i used to in high school lmfao

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

all the time

48. Were you single over the last summer?

nope

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

nope, i peaked two years ago tbh it’s been downhill from there but a bitch is about to start climbing back up the damn hill

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

sleeping, i’m really tired but i refuse to go to bed really sad lmao

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

nope it was my best friend’s brother and i think he’s really cool 

52. Are you nice to everyone?

i am, i try very hard to be even when i don’t like someone

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

honestly, never expected to fall completely in love with Caitlin since she was a good friend of mine and that would be ~gay~ but here i am, dating her for a lil over 2 years now

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

absolutely what the fuck

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

yeah i think so, i only show it if i want to talk about it. i’m working on being a little more transparent with my emotions though

56. Do you think you like someone?

i know i like someone

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

nope

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

giiiirls, but i don’t mind being friends with boys. most of my friends were boys growing up

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

i’m sure all of them have at some point

60. Do you hate anyone?

nope

61. How’s your heart?

today was happy tomorrow is gonna be happy so good but i do miss my gf and that probably won’t go away until i see her again

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

yes

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

yes

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

nobody that i know of. there’s like one person i can think of that would be if anyone but if they’re still talking about me they really must not have anything going on in their life right now lmfao

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

no lmao

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

noooo and i can’t wait to be kissed again in two weeks

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

i mean yeah, boys showing vulnerable emotion is an attractive trait

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

no

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my friend Elizabeth!!

70. How do you look right now?

i’m jus layin here w my tiddies out

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

yes

72. Can you commit to one person?

yes

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

yesss my brother and my good pal Joe

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

yes

75. Did you wake up cranky?

nah i woke up a little anxious though bc i knew my girlfriend was in a plane and she had just pulled an all nighter so i was nervous she wasn’t gonna get any sleep on the plane either

76. Are you a jealous person?

not generally but i have been jealous a few times and that’s a gross feeling

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

yes when you’re with someone who understands you and makes you feel light and fucks you right (if you’re into that)

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

yeah

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

my friends tomorrow, my cousin after christmas (i am hoping), and my gf in two weeks

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

hang out with all my best pals

81. Last person you cried in front of?

my girlfriend

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

yep

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

she is and it makes me really giddy when she gets like that. i find it hella attractive lmfao

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

probably making out or cuddling or sleeping all up against each other

85. Are you over your past?

yeah i think

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

yep but he’s gay and so am i so it worked out

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

yes

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

it would be my gf unless you count the gay boy i was falling in love with for a while lmao, if it was my gf of course i would but if it was the boy i would tell him it was a lil too late for that bc i no longer have feelings for him like that but he’s still one of my best friends no matter what

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

absolutely but i would be all worried about her bc that is unlike her

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

yes lmfao it was only bc he was obnoxiously theatrical, not bc he did anything bad (that i’m aware of?), but he was cute and funny and touchy w me at the time and i had a crush on annnnybody who gave me attention at that time. plus i was trying to ignore my massive crush on Caitlin bc i thought i had no chance with her

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

yep !!

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

yes, had a huge crush on a Michael in 8th grade. totally forgot about him until he followed me on insta today actually lmfao, he’s a frat boy at my school now apparently

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

nope but had a huge crush on one in 8th grade. he happened to be in the same math class with me as Michael from question #92 was and i couldn’t decide which one i liked more

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

yes, it was going well. that year was a rough one but we came out of it stronger i think

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

yes

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

it was my friend Elizabeth and she’s very beautiful !!

97. Who do you have texts from?

one from an internet friend who i texted to catch up with earlier today and forgot to respond to for 9 1/2 hours lmfao i’m really sorry Amber i suck

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

i’d be so so so heartbroken but i would tell her to be with the person who makes her happy, even if it isn’t me. i want what’s best for her always

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

my gf is older than me by like almost a month

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

it’s jus me

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

hmmm no but i would like to

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

yep !!

[aridara]

So, @wolfsaturn never bothered to give me an answer to the question I gave him in this thread:

The problem with your reasoning - “Black people commit more crimes, therefore they are targeted more by the police” - is that it doesn’t have any sense of proportionality. If Black people commit twice the amount of violent crimes than white people, I expect that Black people will be arrested for violent crimes twice as often as white people - maybe twice and a half. But more than five times? Ten?

Come on, give me a cutoff. What would be enough for you to consider it evidence of racism?

...which means that they seem to believe that, since Black people commit more violent crimes than white people (even tough that’s highly dubious), then ANY amount of violent response is appropriate. I don’t have to explain why that belief of them is fucked up.

So, here’s what I’m gonna do: I’m going to go through all of their “points”, post this, wait 24 hours, and then block them.

I’ve never claimed that the violence came from “Soros’ minions”, but whatevs.

Here so you can understand the Difference between the two, cause I know you are having difficulty.

Protest Riot So there is no longer any confusion on what I meant.

Ah, so this was not about people who cause vandalism for vandalism’s sake. Glad to see that you admitted it, so that we can move on.

Why yes, I do admit that BLM caused riots. They had to - like the Civil Rights Movement had to. Becaue they were being literally killed.

All this even after the fact that they found Brown to be in the wrong.

You’re mixing up “Not Guilty” with “innocent” here, buddy. Wilson couldn’t be condemned because the jury didn’t find enough evidence to erase all reasonable doubts of his guilt.

But here’s an interesting fact: the police’s version was proven to be false on multiple issues. Here’s some of the lies, and what turned out to be the truth.:

Brown was stopped because he stole candy >> The “robbery” victim did NOT call the police; Brown was stopped for jaywalking.

Officer Wilson did not use any profanity when telling Brown and Johnson to use the sidewalk >> Officer Wilson did use profanity when telling Brown and Johnson to use the sidewalk.

Brown injured Officer Wilson >> Brown did not injure Officer Wilson.

Brown assaulted Wilson in an attempt to take his gun. Wilson claims that the gun was holstered before the assault. >> This was proven to be false, as it would’ve been impossible for Brown to try to wrestle Wilson’s gun from his hands if it wasn’t in Wilson’s hands.

Brown was 35 feet away from Wilson >> Brown was more than 100 feet away from Wilson.

Brown had an injury to his hand, probably caused by the struggle. >> The claim is highly suspect, as it came out from the “official” autopsy done after 75 days from Brown’s shooting.

CLAIM 1: The unjustifiably violent episodes during BLM protests are not caused by BLM as a whole, but by individuals - often strangers to BLM itself.

Prove it.  Prove they had no involvement.

And this bit right here completely destroys any “innocent until proven guilty” bullshit you may ever spew. Because you sure as fuck haven’t waited until a full trial to condemn the entire BLM movement.

So, congratulations: any paragraph where you’ll try to use the “innocent until proven guilty” bullshit to silence a public discussion will be automatically dismissed.

Once again back to that article you linked to yet still haven’t read. First off it is the opinion of one man, that 70% of people in the riots were from out of town. No actual stats, just opinion.

False statement. The writer took that statistics from the police’s data on the arrests done at Ferguson.

It then goes on to say, that FUCKING SOROS MASTERMINDED IT ALL!

You claimed that Soros paid BLM in order to deliberately attack the police for no reason. Not to mention that you claimed that without a trial resulting in a sentence that condemned Soros.

Again: your “innocent until proven guilty” bullshit won’t work.

Black people are 3 times more likely to be killed by the police than white people. UNARMED black people are 5 times more likely to be killed by the police than unarmed white people.

Already explained why that is.

No, you haven’t. Even if we believe that black people commit twice the amount of violent crimes than white people, we could* expect black criminals to be shot at twice the rate of white criminals.

(*: Except that violent crimes has no correlation with

Less than 1 in 3 black suspects killed by the police were both suspected of having committed a violent crime, and suspected of having a weapon.

Why were they killed? Stories behind each one. Stats don’t lie but are very misleading without full knowledge of all information involved.

The fact is that only 1 in 3 black suspects who were killed by the police were both suspected of having committed a violent crime and armed. The other 2 were either suspected of NON violent crimes; or they weren’t armed. Either way, it casts suspicion on the shooting and, most importantly, it usually requires an investigation to check whether the shooting really was justified or not. Which is at absolute odds with the fact that only 3% of police shootings were investigated.

Ah a report about how police are mistreating so many black people… in a predominantly black area. [Ferguson]

It’s pretty clear that you haven’t even bothered to glance at that report. Have a summary:

African American amount to 67% of Ferguson population.

They account for 85% of all vehicle stops in Ferguson.

They account for 90% of citations.

They account for 93% of arrests.

Even after controlling non-race variables (such as the reason the vehicle stop was initiated), African Americans drivers were stopped twice as much as White Americans, buth were found in possession of contraband 26% less than White Americans.

Even taking in account the differences for the reason why the vehicle stop was initiated, African Americans are more likely to be cited and arrested.

African Americans are also more likely to receive multiple citations in the same stop. From 2012 to 2014, FPD issued four or more citations to African Americans on 73 occasions, but issued four or more citations to non-African Americans only twice.

FPD appears to bring certain offenses almost exclusively against African Americans. Considering Ferguson’s crime rates, that’s literally impossible without the presence of racism.

African Americans accounted for 95% of Manner of Walking in Roadway charges.

African Americans accounted for 94% of Manner of Failing to Comply charges.

Africans Americans are more likely to get a speeding charge - significantly more (+48%) when radars or lasers are not involved.

Nearly 90% of documented force used by FPD officers was used against African Americans.

In every canine bite incident for which racial information is available, the person bitten was African American.

African Americans are 68% less likely than others to have their cases dismissed by the court, and are more likely to have their cases last longer and result in more required court encounters.

African Americans are at least 50% more likely to have their cases lead to an arrest warrant, and accounted for 92% of cases in which an arrest warrant was issued by the Ferguson Municipal Court in 2013.

Available data show that, of those actually arrested by FPD only because of an outstanding municipal warrant, 96% are African American.

The investigation indicates that this disproportionate burden on African Americans cannot be explained by any difference in the rate at which people of different races violate the law.

Oh there are so many black people in prison… OMG this must mean they are in there unjustly! But you can’t assume that the people in there are innocent!

Considering that the amount of convictions against black people are massively disproportionate in relation to the actual crime rates of Black people, and considering that the majority of those wrongly convicted are black, I DO assume that racism is involved.

But you’ve all but admitted that, as long as Black people “commit more crimes” (read: are convicted more) than white people, then it doesn’t matter how much Black people are charged, arrested, convicted, or shot.

“In New York, an average of 10-11% of stop-and-frisk searches are done on white people, while 53-56% are done on black people. Nearly nine in ten stopped-and-frisked people are innocent.” I’m sure the fact that they are dispatched in high crime areas in NYC doesn’t play a part in that. Probably because of who you’ll find in those areas more. BLACK PEOPLE!

Prove it. Especially since those statistics are NYC-wide.

“24% of black people had force used against them by the NYPD, compared to only 17% of whites.” Now off the bat, oooorrrr did some put up a struggle and resist arrest?

Orrrrrr you forgot that’s 24% of the entire Black population of NYC.

You’re claiming that 530.000+ of Black people resisted arrest? When “resisting arrest” is a charge decided solely by the police officer?

I mean really, all it is is statistics but no meaning behind it but the one you place on them.

Where are the FACTS!

War on drugs? Well I do admit this was a plan of the government to hold back minorities, especially those of African and Mexican heritage. I am adamantly against prohibition, and understand a lot of minorities would be left free if they legalize some drugs/ But man it’s still illegal. Just like stealing, and murder. Don’t be upset because you can’t stop breaking the law.

Fun fact: most of the biggest drug dealers (we’re talking cocaine and heroine, not marijuana) were - and still are - white.

Yet the police didn’t ever think to target white people more than black people.

Also: tell me ONE case where a BLM protest resulted in someone being hanged.

Lynching though it tends to end in a hanging, does not necessarily involve a hanging. An officer shoots a poc, rather than wait for the results of the case other poc gather to protest the death.

Yeah, no. You have no idea what lynching is.

Then again, it happens quite often that bigots call any protest the oppressed do - no matter how pacific - “violent” or “lynching” or “offensive”, or, or, or. I’d ask you “What, exactly, would be a way of protesting that you would approve?”, but since you believe that protesting an unjust shooting is exactly the same as hanging someone yourself, I already know that the answer will be “I don’t approve them protesting period”.

LOL ^^^Funniest thing I heard all day^^^ That is our Judicial system to you? Dude, without evidence a person IS innocent! That isn’t silencing the masses, it’s protecting them. I’m not trying to silence discussion of the case, I’m just saying that a group that rallies together and starts protesting something they don’t have all the facts to is ignorant. Not only that, it has been known to sway judgment of juries, and put pressure on judges.

In other words, no protesting or talking about the case until the verdict comes out? Yeah, no. Again: you don’t believe this is a penal trial, otherwise you’d speak only when the judge calls you. You don’t believe that you shouldn’t speak of guilt until the verdict, because YOU sure as fuck haven't waited the verdict to claim that Soros caused a riot. But you are trying to silence a discussion that you don’t like.

Again: all paragraphs about “innocent until proven guilty” will be dismissed.

You are insinuating that EVERY shooting of an unarmed person was because of brutality. Prove it.

I don’t have to prove a claim that you made up.

You are insisting that because so many poc are being shot that it must equal racism. Prove it.

The evidence is that, even taking in account crime rates and whether the suspect was violent or not, the numbers STILL don’t match up.

Any paragraph where you keep ignoring this will be istantly dismissed, since for you, as long as black people keep being convicted for more crimes than white people, then any amount of arrests, fines, police brutality, convictions, and police shootings will be acceptable.

I don’t have to provide evidence, the trial of the officer that shot him provided it all to show that brown was in fact leaning in the car reaching for the gun.

Except that A. that was possible

only if Officer Wilson already extracted the gun

, which means that he lied in court; and B.

Brown was shot after he ran away, at a 100+ feet of distance

.

Everyone thinks thats [the Brock Turner verdict] a bogus outcome. But that’s what happens when plea deals are made for less violent crimes.

This right in: rape is a less violent crime.

I think maybe YOU should read the fucking article you illiterate little prick.

I’ve already pointed out the many, many, many problems with that ruling.

Also: what about White-on-White crime? Did you know that more than 4 in 5 white murder victims were killed by another white person?

Prove it!

Here ya go. 81% of white murder victims were murdered by white murderers.

The white community acknowledges white criminals, and condemns their actions. the black community is quick to rally behind their criminals.

Citation needed for “rally behind criminals”. Make sure it’s statistical evidence and that is enough to go against evidence that they do care about intra-community violence.

Besides Explain the fact that black people commit crimes towards white people at a higher rate.

Because A. poverty is correlated with higher crime rates; B. the legal system is massively racist (see the above); and C. “Black people commit half of all violent crimes” is bullshit.

Your claim is that it is police brutality, now fucking PROVE IT!

The proof is that: A. Black people are disproportionately targeted by police shootings; B. Such disproportion cannot be explained by “suspect was armed/unarmed”; C. It also cannot be explained by “suspect was suspected of having committed/not having committed a violent crime”; D. It also cannot be explained by “Black people commit more crimes, therefore the police is more wary of black criminals”. We DO know that police brutality (including police shootings) are NOT correlated with violent crime rates; so, when you say “Black people commit more crimes, and that makes the police more vary of black criminals”, what you’re actually saying is: “This only happens to black people. White crimes don’t make the police more vary of white people. I, in no way, will ever admit that what I just implied is evidence of racism”.

[Sterling] was a criminal, and though it was unknown at the time of the justified shooting that he was a criminal, he was reported to the police to have been threatening a civilian with his gun that he should never have had in the first place due to his MANY charges against him for violent actions some of which he had illegal firearms.

Except that, again, the police officers didn’t even know who he was, didn’t know that he already had charged against him, didn’t know that he had no right to carry a gun (by the way: citation needed that he couldn’t have a gun).

Not to mention that they tazed him multiple times and they (yes, they; there were at least two officers) were sitting on top of him at the time of the shooting. And they shot him dead - not at the arm, despite requiring the same effort and reaction time. So: what do you think happened?

The policemen weren’t able to prevent Sterling from reaching for his gun, because Sterling had magical Black super-strength and was capable of shrugging off multiple tazer shocks and having at least two men on top of him. The policemen had no choice but to shoot him dead in order to stop him.

The policemen were so incompetent, they weren’t capable of stopping Sterling from reaching for his gun, despite the fact that they were literally on top of him, and despite the fact that Sterling was tazed multiple times. The policemen shot Sterling dead, without bothering to aim for the arm or the shoulder.

Sterling was unable to reach for his gun. The policemen shot him dead anyway.

OH? The black men in that picture seem to be alive. You gotta look for them but they are there lol

Different case different officers different reasonings behind doing what they did.

They literally shot at the police with shotguns.

Cutting repeated bullshit - we already know that you istantly assume that any Black person shot dead by the police was guilty with no trial... more lies about Brown... a bullshit video...

MLK wanted intelligent hard working men and women of color to be treated as equals, not the people that are placed on pedestals by BLM protesters.

MLK wanted to build up the black community, not tear it down.

Don’t invoke the name of MLK, he would be embarrassed by you.

Yeah, no. He knew full well that “asking nicely” doesn’t work:

We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was "well timed" in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word "Wait!" It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This "Wait" has almost always meant "Never." We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that "justice too long delayed is justice denied.

We have waited for more than 340 years for our constitutional and God given rights. The nations of Asia and Africa are moving with jetlike speed toward gaining political independence, but we still creep at horse and buggy pace toward gaining a cup of coffee at a lunch counter. Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of segregation to say, "Wait." But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six year old daughter why she can't go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five year old son who is asking: "Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?"; when you take a cross county drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out by nagging signs reading "white" and "colored"; when your first name becomes "nigger," your middle name becomes "boy" (however old you are) and your last name becomes "John," and your wife and mother are never given the respected title "Mrs."; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that you are a Negro, living constantly at tiptoe stance, never quite knowing what to expect next, and are plagued with inner fears and outer resentments; when you are forever fighting a degenerating sense of "nobodiness"--then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair. I hope, sirs, you can understand our legitimate and unavoidable impatience. You express a great deal of anxiety over our willingness to break laws. This is certainly a legitimate concern. Since we so diligently urge people to obey the Supreme Court's decision of 1954 outlawing segregation in the public schools, at first glance it may seem rather paradoxical for us consciously to break laws. One may well ask: "How can you advocate breaking some laws and obeying others?" The answer lies in the fact that there are two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the first to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that "an unjust law is no law at all."

[...] I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and that when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress. I had hoped that the white moderate would understand that the present tension in the South is a necessary phase of the transition from an obnoxious negative peace, in which the Negro passively accepted his unjust plight, to a substantive and positive peace, in which all men will respect the dignity and worth of human personality. Actually, we who engage in nonviolent direct action are not the creators of tension. We merely bring to the surface the hidden tension that is already alive. We bring it out in the open, where it can be seen and dealt with. Like a boil that can never be cured so long as it is covered up but must be opened with all its ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured. [Letter from a Birmingham Jail, 1963]

Not to mention that MLK was blamed for riots, looting, and violence, he endured government subversion, and in the end was assassinated.

It doesn’t matter how polite Black people are towards racists. The racists still murderously hate Black people.

Cutting more bullshit... more accusations that either BLM or Soros caused vandalism and violence for the sake of vandalism and violence (again: so much for “wait until the verdict”)... more Occam’s Big Paisley Tie* about the 70% of vandals being from outside Ferguson and outside the protest... more of the usual “Black people commit more crimes, therefore it’s just right they’re being fined/arrested/shot at more than white people no matter how disproportionately”... OBPT* about unarmed people getting shot... more “Stop protesting”.

...Aaaaaaand that is all. You get 24 hours to write whatever bullshit reply you want, and then you get blocked. Bye.

*: “Occam’s Razor” is a principle, attributed to William of Occam. When someone uses “Occam’s Razor”, it means that, for any given question, they assume that the answer is the one that requires the fewest assumptions and doesn’t have enough contrasting evidence to be shot down.

“Occam’s Big Paisley Tie” is when someone, when asked whether Act X constitutes oppression (for example: racism) or not, would rather select every single answer, no matter how improbable, that allows them to deny the existance of the oppression; than admit that such an oppression exists.

Example: A: That salesperson ignored me in favor of that white guy who just cut before me. That’s the fourth time by now. B: Are you sure that salesperson didn't ignore you because he just didn't see you? A: Yes. I called him when the first guy cut me off, and he told me to wait. Then it happened again. And again, and again. B: Well, maybe he was just having a bad day. A: ...What does this have to do with anything? B: Are you certain he heard you? A: ...Yes. Again: he told me to wait. Twice, in fact. B: Did you really try to get his attention? A: .........YES. B: Maybe he didn't realize you needed help. A: I told him! B: I'm sure it's not that he was being purposefully rude. A: And this matters how?! The fact is, I’m here, and he just let four other people cut in before me! B: Maybe he’s hard of hearing. A: Of course. That’s why he doesn’t have any problem hearing other customers. Not to mention that HE TOLD ME TO WAIT. HE CLEARLY SAW ME. B: Have you considered that maybe you had an unfriendly look on your face? A: What?!? B: You know how your face gets when you're not smiling. A: .........Really? That is your explanation? And that doesn’t make him an asshole how, exactly?!? B: Then I don't know—there has to be some explanation you just didn't notice.

[adventures-in-transmania]

Storytime #2-College. This one’s kind of long.

This is when it gets interesting. And by interesting, I mean interesting. And complicated.

When I got to university, I didn’t really have anyone at first. I knew a couple people from my class had ended up at the same place, given how close it was to our high school. I still lived at home and commuted. I lost contact with pretty much everyone from high school with a few exceptions. It was a lonely first month filled with exercises that were meant to bring people together. Almost every class had some sort of exercise that was meant to introduce ourselves and hopefully (?) make new friends.

At some point I reconnected with a previous classmate from high school, someone I had a huge crush on, who had identified as a woman at the time, someone who had turned out to be a trans man (another of many in my life), and someone who wasn’t exactly the best of influences. There’s much more that goes into this, but I’m not going into that now and I can’t promise I will later. It’s one of those things I know won’t help to dwell on, but is definitely a defining moment in some way or another. Anyways, they introduced me to the vital friend group that I had in college. It was me and another person from the same high school, a cis guy that I came to be quite close to after high school ended, that became integrated into this group that called themselves the Circle.

I introduced myself as my dead name and by the wrong pronouns, because I didn’t know any better. You had this “I need to be this,” complex. I feel like I need to explain this so I will. By law, I was a woman. I’m not. I’m not a woman in any sense other than my legal ID saying so. I grew up believing I was a woman though. I grew up with my name being my dead name. I grew up with she/her pronouns. I grew up referring to myself as such. You don’t usually question this. I was *D* and I was *she/her.* I had no problem being she/her. The name, on the other hand, I had complete plans to change that, whether I actually transitioned or not, but at the time, that was legal.

After that friend who had been in college for two years had talked to me, I felt confident enough to talk about it. I re-introduced myself as Riley, a name I’d chosen previously. The name felt right. I used it for a story in high school that I wrote that turned out to be over 800 pages typed. I put some effort into it, but it’s pretty irrelevant now. As people have pointed out (my parent, especially), I changed my dead name, which was also a gender neutral name, to a name that is also gender neutral and is in no way similar to my dead name. But here’s the thing. You grow up being referred to as that name (my dead name) with the wrong pronouns. You associate that dead name with the wrong pronouns. At some point, you are unable to disassociate the two, even if you wanted to. You hear your dead name, you associate that name with the wrong pronouns. This ties into being misgendered, as I’m sure I will mention later. Riley is my name. Riley is the name I have chosen and Riley Anateria is my legal name. I am Riley. I am not my dead name.

So, I re-introduced myself as Riley probably a month or two into college. My ‘friends’ griped, but relented. Surprise, surprise, I wasn’t the only trans one and they had to do the same with many others. The group itself consisted of many queer individuals with a few straight/cis people who respected queer people. For once, the queers outnumbered the cis/straights. It was a group that I should have belonged in.

And yet, my cis, straight (?) male friend had a better time fitting in, which caused quite the conflict for pretty much my entire time at university. But no one else really was aware of that, so it’s kind of irrelevant at this point. It took me at least a year to fit into this space. And by fit in, I mean be tolerated. I was referred to as Riley. At first, I was referred to using she/her, which I didn’t mind, seeing as I didn’t have gender dysphoria. It was this lack of dysphoria that led me to believe I was gender fluid for about two years during this time. I had very little hope of transitioning and honestly, very little desire to do so. It didn’t hurt when people referred to me as she/her.

Here’s a kicker. The first person to refer to me using he/him pronouns also gave me one of my most traumatic experiences.

So, I identified as genderfluid for some time at the beginning of my college career. I didn’t have gender dysphoria and I felt as though I could live without medically/physically transitioning, in addition to there being no hope of me transitioning for financial and familial reasons. However, at some point, a cis, straight male friend of mine (one I developed a crush on, shocker, because of his support), referred to me as ‘he.’ This became a defining moment in my transition in that I felt more validated than I ever have and it felt right. After that point in time, I began to notice so many things I hadn’t before. I wanted to be seen as male. I wanted to be seen as a man, because that’s who I was.

I recall beginning to notice and copy male behavior. Things that cis males don’t normally have to pay attention to, I watched and copied. I felt good when people used male pronouns in relation to me. In class, of course, that didn’t happen. But within my friend group, within the Circle, it did. It was a form of support, one that I often miss now. There was some silent agreement that isn’t present anywhere else. The cis, straight people within our group bowed to our expertise of knowing our own identities, just as cis, straight people knew their identities. It was respected. They didn’t have a difficult time with our pronouns or our names, and if they did, the certainly didn’t show it. Nor did they feel the need to make it a huge point. If they did fuck up, they corrected themselves and moved on. Or maybe that’s just how I remember it. I do recall some resistance when I first came out, something about how I should have just introduced myself as Riley and with male pronouns, but I didn’t know at the time that it was anything more than a desire to be known as a man.

During my first semester, I was still with that guy that I went to prom with, that conservative, traditional male. At some point I talked to him about the whole gender thing and what I remember from that, he didn’t exactly show support. I wasn’t surprised and I wasn’t happy with the relationship to begin with. The relationship ended within the year of it starting. It wasn’t exactly a great relationship to begin with and it never would have lasted. I really haven’t talked to him since and I don’t think he or any one else from high school that I lost contact with would be happy keeping in contact with me. That’s just fine. The only reason I got close to anyone during my senior year was nostalgia anyway.

I met new people. Most I liked, some I didn’t quite care for, but were nice enough. Most I don’t keep in contact with now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss them or think about them sometimes. I mentioned that one friend who first referred to me using male pronouns. I talked to a group of the cis men, including him, about using the men’s locker room at NU. As someone who didn’t think I could even use a single stall men’s bathroom, I was super unsure, but I wanted to, because, after all, I was a man, same as them. This was something I struggled with in the last two years at university. It’s not like you can ask men to go with you like you can women. Men just don’t do that, or I was led to believe (I’m still led to believe, the whole ‘I’ll go with you’ campaign be damned). Men don’t go to the bathroom together by choice (yay, toxic masculinity). So, I mentioned briefly about using the locker room and the 3+ men were in support of it, all of them being cis and at least one of them being queer. So, I took their word at face value.

One of them had an issue with it. Perhaps he did from the beginning, but he didn’t say anything until the moment that I was in there with them. I went to ask them a question (because the 3+ of them had gone somewhere else, leaving me alone, which was fine) and he got super weird about it. It made me feel as though I didn’t belong and shouldn’t have been there. It re-inforced the idea that I didn’t belong in male restrooms or locker rooms because I didn’t have a penis, because I wasn’t born cis. It was one of the first experiences I had in a men’s room.

I remember that every time I try to use a men’s bathroom, whether it be single stall or public. It has made me pause every time I have to chose between a men’s room and a women’s room. Despite strangers calling me ‘sir’ and referring to me using he/him pronouns, I think back to this moment every time I walk into a men’s restroom and think if any one of these men see me as a woman, see me as if I don’t pass as a man in their eyes, I don’t belong. Even my friends believe that.

But the thing is, I don’t think he was my friend. He may have been at some time, but he doesn’t know how to have trans friends, at least not trans men. And that’s on him. He may have given me that traumatic memory but I can and will get over it. It may take some time, but I will.

He texted some time ago about a job within a company that he worked for, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking a job working with him purely because I know he wouldn’t be comfortable working with me. I’d like to see that as progress towards building my own self-respect and self-esteem. It may be in my field, but I’d be damned to willingly work with someone who couldn’t share a bathroom with me and dare call himself my ‘friend.’ I really hope one day I’m able to walk into a men’s room without thinking about that memory.

It’s not just about pronouns or bathrooms. It’s about how people see you. I’m not some woman trying to fit into men’s spaces. I’m a man, unfortunately with what people see as a woman’s body, that’s trying to fit into spaces made for men.

I’m not one for toxic masculinity, especially as I mature. I cried for many a-reason especially in college. I got mad and frustrated and when I wasn’t on T (testosterone), I cried when I was frustrated. Certain tests? I cried. Chemistry homework? Man, I bawled. I used to get so frustrated over that. My last relationship caused a huge problem, which I will address when I talk about sexuality. It was a mess. From beginning to end it was a bad idea. One of my friends who had intimate knowledge and was majorly involved with it decided it’d be a good idea to tell pretty much everyone in our friend group that we bonded because I cried over that relationship in front of them. I absolutely hated it. I think it was more the fact that they used that to say we were so close when in reality we weren’t rather than the fact that they revealed I cried. But there’s a lot that goes into that that I don’t think I’m able to sort through at this current moment.

Two years into college I changed my name, legally. I planned on it since high school. I told my parent that I wanted to change my first name but I ended up changing my entire name. I kept the two names they gave to me as my middle name but changed my first and last name. I don’t know why a more masculine name didn’t fit. Riley fit. Anateria was just some bullshit last name that ended up fitting more than the name given to me. You grow up associating one name with the wrong pronouns, you want out. That doesn’t mean your new name will be associated with the right pronouns. No one tells you that part. I changed my name about a year after my friends had already been referring to me as Riley and he/him. But my school didn’t get the memo. On about half of the paperwork, I got my name changed over. The other half, it wasn’t, as much as I tried, it just didn’t go through or was ignored. My degree is in the right name, that’s honestly all I care about right now. But my advisor? (Well, he couldn’t even remember me to begin with. I didn’t stand out, whatever. It’s not like I shared several classes with his daughter or was in a couple of his classes, nah.), it took him some time. Even now, I’m getting mail from my university addressed to my dead name. Kinda mad, considering they’re asking for money from me. With my dead name. #not mad at all

I have to say, I did not expect this school to be so accepting. I remember coming in for  an interview and them asking about me being trans. Now, this is a highly religious institution, a Vincentian university. I feel as though I could have talked to the Fathers about it and gotten acceptance from them. They were wayyyyy more progressive than I ever would have thought. I went to counseling services through them primarily to deal with the whole trans issues during my last two years there (I ended up with something like 5 counselors, not anyone’s fault, but definitely not conducive to counseling. Another hellfire after the counseling I had in high school). It was one of those universities where class was cancelled to hold mass on campus. Perhaps that’s my own *prejudice* but that’s definitely not the place I expected to be accepted as trans. But between my job (which changed during that time) and school, school was my rock.

I changed jobs about halfway through my college career. I worked at a coffee shop with a very high turnover rate and ended up working for a local grocery chain. I was somewhat supported by my coworkers. I had a department boss that loved me and tried to support me (despite making the comment that my name wasn’t masculine enough..........). I had a boss that asked inappropriate questions but also seemed to have more experience/training working with trans individuals than others (she asked about my plans for bottom surgery, but also inquired about putting a lock on the men’s restroom so I could comfortable use the men’s room). Ultimately I left not because of the coworkers, but because of the conditions and the pay at the end of my college career.

This brings me to my current place.

[audienceexperiences1013p18-blog]

COMM 3P18-Blog #1

We are surrounded by audiences sometimes we take place in one for fun such as a concert while other times we are part of a mandatory audience such as an airline safety video. We can also be the producer of content for certain audiences say for example there is so much social media nowadays like Instagram, which we control what we put out there. This blog entry will explore concepts that I found were important to me and applied best to the personal experiences that I wanted to talk about.

Important aspects I learned from chapter 1:

What is an audience?

- “The Oxford English Dictionary defines audience as ‘the action of hearing; attention to what is spoken.’ The root of the word (aud) suggests the processing of verbal information (e.g., audio or auditory processing)” (Sullivan, p.3)

Example:

Audience isn’t solely you being present at an event etc. It can also be just the act of you watching an awards show like the Oscars from home. We can be part of a physical audience as well without even realizing it like going to a trade show or festival.

Audience as the 3 models of audience (mass, outcome and agent)?

-Outcome: “sees people as being acted upon by media. Typically, it reflects a concern about the power of media to produce detrimental effects on individuals, and by implication on society as a whole” (Sullivan, p.6)

-Mass: “a large collection of people scattered across time and space who act autonomously and have little or no immediate knowledge of one another.” (Sullivan, p.6)

-Agent: “people are conceived of as free agents choosing what media they will consume, bringing their own interpretive skills to the texts they encounter, making their own meanings, and generally using media to suit themselves” (Sullivan pp. 7-8)

Personal Experience:

In my everyday life I am aware of the physical audiences I take part in but often forget about the other audiences that aren’t as physical such as the radio stations I chose to listen to. I think Audience-as-Mass is becoming much more real with social media and so many way to connect to others who are far away. It allows us to realize how many people live around us that we haven’t met. I think nowadays most people are able to use Audience-as-Agent because we are able to customize what we want to see. For example, if we aren’t into snapchat then we just don’t have to download the app/make an account. This can also be counter-productive because with it being so easy to share information on Facebook, false posts get shared leading to misinformed information. With Instagram and such we are able to choose who we want to follow say we are interested in fashion we can follow models and clothing brands. This vast customization available to us through social media etc. allows us to be very selective about what media we chose to consume.

Power?

-“the ability of one actor to alter the decisions made and/or welfare experienced by another actor relative to the choices that would have been made and/or welfare that would have been experienced had the actor not existed or acted” (Sullivan, 2013, p. 19).

Real world example:

As a student we see power within the classroom audience that we are part of. We show up and give attention to the professor because it is a societal norm to listen to authority, which in this case is the professor. However, with so many student unions in university’s now it has become possible for students to have power in decisions regarding their education unlike ever before. I also find this at home as my parents are the authority and have power in key decisions. For example, I am at university today because it was especially important for my parents that I get an education and because it is there home and there rules I make sure to follow and do the things they expect from me. 

Important aspects I learned from chapter 2:

Four types of involvement

-From the seminar discussion readings we were able to understand the four types of involvement

- Transportation: A person who becomes emotionally invested in a story.

-Para social relationships: A connection with someone from a movie or book that you have no relationship with. Internally can pull you in and feel like you are within the story.

-Identification: This is when you forget about yourself to attempt to become someone else. It could occur in many forms such as in taking one’s beliefs, clothing styles and behaviors.

-Worship: Placing a person, commonly a celebrity to an extremely high standard one that would closely resemble that of Gods.

Personal Experience:

For me I experience transportation lots especially when you see things on socially media feeds and become immediately consumed in the event taking place. I often find this as I donate money to SickKids and follow them on all my social media. They often post on Facebook short videos of patient and family updates. I find these videos often really make me feel for the people in the video as well as transport me to full invest myself in the story. I always looks to check in on patient updates etc. because I feel as if they become a part of my life from an emotional standpoint. Things like this have made me even more thankful and to appreciate the little things in life that some of these kids never get to experience. This image shows everybody vs. SickKids and how we can help build a brighter future for these kids by donating.

The differences between Gemeinschaft and Gesellschaft

-As we discussed in lecture. Gemeinschaft represents the community it can especially relate to small towns and how the people within it socialize for example, the expression “small town feel”. Where there is just a sense of close community. Geselleschaft is the opposite of this, where the relationships aren’t as close to those in Gemeinschaft. This often occurs in cities where there’s a lot of strangers that you could interact with/see on a day to day basis.

Experience:

When we were kids my parents would take me and my siblings to our ski chalet every weekend. This resembled Gemeinschaft because the chalet was in a very small town that you would miss if you blinked. This allowed us to form very close relationships with everyone on our street. These close personal relationships really allowed us to make lifelong friends because of the community feel it had.

Important aspects I learned from chapter 3:

Agenda Setting Theory?

-“Third, agenda-setting theory demonstrates that the extent of news coverage about a particular event or issue can have a powerful effect on whether or not the public thinks the actions of political elites and policy makers (Dearing & Rogers, 1996; Rogers & Dearing, 1988)”. (Sullivan, 2013, p.72)

Framing?

- “Framing occurs when journalists or media producers “select some aspects of a perceived reality and make them more salient in a communicating text, in such a way as to promote a particular problem definition, causal interpretation, moral evaluation, and/or treatment recommendation” (Entman, 1993, p. 52).” (Sullivan, p.71).

Real World Example:

The agenda setting theory relates to a lot of elections that take place. A bigger election say for prime minister will be broadcasted on so many channels and advertised all over the radio etc. Elections that are for a local councillor and such only get broadcasted on one channel at my house and are a lot less publicised. This places a lesser importance on them to the public eye as it is not as covered creating less urgency from the media. We see framing being used a lot in media today especially for the news. Take for example a simple headline it can frame how you feel about something before you even read it. If the headline grasps the audience interest it may get them interested in reading the story fully to discover more. The way things are framed can however be very misleading to the general public.

Spiral of Silence?

-As mentioned in lecture as a society we are social and just want to be able to fit in (in general). Without media we wouldn’t have as much access to how other people think and view things such as issues in the news

-Due to societal norms etc. we can often disagree with something but chances are no one speaks out because they worry about how others will judge them and that majority of people may not agree with them speaking out.

-“Claims that individuals naturally fear social isolation and will therefore monitor the political views expressed in the media and repress their own opinions if they are in the minority.” (Sullivan, 2013, p.71).

Personal Experience:

I find I am influenced by the Spiral of silence on a day to day basis. Say for example I am at my grandparents and my grandpa and dad start a conversation about politics and I say something they don’t agree with in that moment I will often change my stance. This is because I feel as I want to represent the majority and am afraid to take the stance from a minority perspective as I haven’t been around as long and don’t like to feel judged. It’s important for society to speak out because opinions do matter and can make changes for the better, someone may also be wanting to say what you said but was too afraid.

Bandwagon vs. Underdog effects?

-“This occurs when individuals hear news reports of opinion polls that differ from their own opinion, which causes them to shift their outlook to match the majority opinion.”

(Sullivan, p. 71).

-The opposite of this would be the underdog effect, where the public decides to support a minority view could be a certain position or candidate

Personal Experience:

I find that I more so partake in the Bandwagon effect then the underdog effect in my life as I often try to follow majority opinion especially in politics. I remember the one year when I was first able to vote, I hadn’t really fully grasped politics yet. I would keep changing my mind on what party to vote for as the stats would be shown on TV or the radio. That year I ended up just voting for what my parents and sister were voting for as it was the majority opinion in my house and I didn’t feel comfortable going against that.

References

- Sullivan, John L. Media Audiences: Effects, Users, Institutions, and Power. SAGE Publications. Kindle Edition.