#I just got done rewatching it while fully awake for the first time and I am RAMBLING

[snarky-art]

I don’t think I’m ever gonna get over the sheer amount of religious symbolism present in toh finale

The colonial puritan, this white man, trying in vain to become God in the only way he knows how, through fire and brimstone and absolute control, only for Actual God (one of MANY, mind you) to be this casual, kind, bi-gender being who presents to Luz, a mortal, through a combination of the things that have loved and protected her son (Hooty, Eda’s bad girl coven shirt, the glyphs that Luz uses) and who wants magic to be accessible to all so they can enjoy and experience life, who tells jokes, and wants the first and last thing said to his son directly from her to be a bread pun about how much he loves him

How the symbol of a Winged Being Shrouded in Light who helps guide and save is this wild witch who’s imbued in this pagan magic, who’s fully embraced and accepted her disabilities and the very things Belos deemed wrong through the eyes of his ideology

How The Archive is this halo atop the head of the god figure, how it begins to fall and crumple the moment Belos takes over to reach his idea of godhood

The Titan’s body, controlled by Belos, reaching towards the heavens in the same image of Adam in The Creation, trying to touch God, the idea of touching what gave life to everything as symbolized by his connection with Adam, everything being obliterated where it stands while this is happening, and then how only in being bereft of Belos’s soul did life finally return to what is posed as Adam, without the need of the God imagined by Belos

Etc. etc. etc.

There is just,, so much

I am in shambles

[alwaysmychoices]

Hi! Me again! I don’t know if you’ve done this or not or something that might interest you. But HC with Ethan and MC meeting like Derek and Meredith, sleeping together before knowing they work together?

I really enjoyed this one! A. I got to do “research” by rewatching Grey’s. B. I loved the way this turned out. If this becomes it’s own fic, don’t be surprised. 

Ethan & f!MC - Meeting Before Knowing They Worked Together 

When MC walked into Donahue’s on the eve of her first day at Edenbrook, she was determined to have one last night where she wasn’t an incoming resident or a future diagnostician or anything other than a girl at a bar.

Maybe she should have known that a bar that close to a hospital would attract its employees.

But really, when she saw Ethan, she wasn’t thinking.

He was just a handsome man sitting alone at a bar, and she was just a girl.

Neither of them meant to go home together that night. If anything, they felt like they were trapped in some magnetic pull.

They had to talk. Ethan had to buy her a drink, and MC had to move closer. A few hours later, when Ethan called himself a cab, it was a foregone conclusion that MC would be in the backseat next to him.

That night was amazing.

The morning, however…

MC woke up hungover to Ethan’s morning alarm. The 45-second gap between MC waking and Ethan turning off the alarm was as close to hell as MC ever wanted to be.

“Why is it so loud?” she grumbled, covering her eyes with her arm.

“It’s an alarm.”

“Right.”

…

“What time is it?”

“6.”

“What?”

MC scrambled for her phone and emitted a panicked groan that made Ethan do a double-take. Jolted awake with anxiety, MC got out of bed and fumbled for her clothes, which lined Ethan’s floor haphazardly.  

He watched with bemused confusion.

“Are you alright?” he asked, trying not to smirk as she mumbled a thousand curses under her breath as she tried to button her jeans.

“I’m going to be late.”

“For?”

“My first day.”

“At?”

“My job.”

Ethan was both amused and frustrated with her insistence on remaining vague. She didn’t seem particularly interested in talking to him, or in him at all this morning. That should have been a blessing. He never liked the awkward, post-sex small talk or the polite feigned interest in each other’s life.

Maybe he was so interested in MC because she wasn’t interested in him.

Either way, he asked her name. She didn’t seem to be offended that he forgot, and a moment later, she admitted that she didn’t know his either.

Ethan asked if she wanted coffee. Nearly tripping as she buckled her wedges, MC said she didn’t have time. He asked for a raincheck.

MC paused, debating how to answer. She didn’t walk into that bar to find someone, nor did she move to Boston with the intention of dating anyone. She didn’t have time for coffee dates, no matter how handsome this stranger was.

But instead of letting him down gently, she walked to his bedside table where he kept a pen and paper for late-night epiphanies. She scribbled her name and number on the top sheet.

And then she had to go.

Ethan called out a goodbye, and though she didn’t return it, she smiled softly in the elevator.

The next hour or so was chaos. MC’s ride back to her apartment was slowed by morning traffic, so running out of time, MC ran upstairs, changed, grabbed what she needed, and ran back downstairs in a panic. 10 minutes into her commute, she realized her phone was dead, and she blindly navigated her new city.

Considering everything, it was a miracle she was only 5 minutes late.

But she was still late.

MC moved through orientation feeling like she was always a step behind because she was late. She made a few friends, all of whom assured her that she hadn’t missed much, but one maintained a sly, condescending smile as if he’d somehow won today’s game by being earlier than her.

She was so focused on making up for lost time that she didn’t notice her familiar coworker until it was too late.

They were in the halls when their paths first crossed.

Ethan saw her first. At first, it was just a quick glance, but when he realized who she was, he stopped dead in his tracks.

MC, coffee in one hand and a chart in the other, kept walking and only offered a cursory glance of intrigue when she saw someone stop in the halls.

She nearly dropped her coffee in shock.

For a moment, they just stared at each other.

And then they stared at each other’s IDs.

MC felt nauseous when she read his name. Dr. Ethan Ramsey. Her hero. Her boss.

She had sex with her boss.

And Ethan had sex with an intern!

Ethan opened his mouth to say something – though God knows, he didn’t know what he was going to say – but didn’t get the opportunity. Panicked, MC just walked away.

The rest of the day, she felt like she was in a daze.

What had she been thinking? She should have never gone out last night at all.

Two hours later, they ran into each other again – this time, in a lonely elevator with no immediate exit. They were trapped.

MC spoke first.

“So, you’re… you’re Dr. Ramsey then.”

“I am.”

“Right…” MC evaded eye contact, “I read your book.”

Ethan cringed, “Oh.”

After a beat, he asked, “So, what are you? Surgery? Pediatrics?”

“Diagnostics.”

“Oh.”

Realizing that Ethan was MC’s direct supervisor, they agreed to pretend nothing ever happened. As soon as they exited this elevator, they would never speak of it again. They shared an awkward handshake just before the doors opened.

They fully intended to stay apart, but they kept running into each other.

MC quickly established herself as a promising if flawed doctor. Ethan was intrigued by her potential. After days of deliberation, he decided it would be unfair to refrain from mentoring her just because they made one mistake.

He told himself it was pure professional interest, but if that were true, he wouldn’t have kept her number all this time.

Ethan was hard on MC. His criticisms became so frequent they felt like abuse. He expected a lot from her – more than he expected from any other intern, save for Aurora. She responded to the criticism with improved performance, and Ethan saw no reason to let up now.

She couldn’t reach her potential if she was afraid to grow.

He kept his compliments and growing respect mostly to himself. He worried that, given their past, sharing them would appear inappropriate.

So, as Ethan grew attached to MC, she brewed in dislike.

The differential treatment was obvious. While Ethan flattered himself that he was pushing her to greatness, she just felt pushed and underappreciated. Her success was only met with more challenges. She was exhausted, and she blamed Ethan.

And Ethan had the misfortune of sitting next to her at Donahue’s the night she reached her limit.

He asked if she wanted a drink. She answered with the kind of glare that could slit throats.

Ethan’s reasoning was clouded with MC. Though he recognized her annoyance and knew to leave, he didn’t. He ordered his drink and remained next to her as she fumed.

After 10 minutes of silence, MC finished her third beer and asked, “Why are you such a dick?”

Ethan choked on his drink.

“If you’re just punishing me because of that night, that’s not appropriate. I’m a doctor, not just the girl from a bar you slept with.”

“I am not punishing you, and if I was, it certainly wouldn’t be for that reason.”

Maybe it was the alcohol in her system. Maybe it was months of resentment. Or maybe it was because, no matter what he did, he was still the handsome stranger at a bar. The magnetic draw they found in Donahue’s never waned. She still wanted him to pick up her number and schedule that coffee date.

Whatever it was, MC let him have it.

They ended up in an alley, yelling at each other like the rest of the world couldn’t hear them. Under the cover of false anonymity, they released so much frustration that their voices reached screams.

And then…

Well, they later blamed the passion of the moment.

But, once they had released all of their frustrations, one lingered. They resented staying apart.

So, that night, they didn’t.

In the middle of a screaming match where MC aimed a long stream of expletives at him,  Ethan kissed her. And then MC kissed him. And then they were in a cab, and they were back in his apartment. And… and it started all over.

And the worst part was that they each had a sobering moment where they realized what they were doing, and they did it anyway.

In the morning, they had the same conversation they had in the elevator. This was an unprofessional, irresponsible mistake, and it wouldn’t happen again.

But it did.

And at some point, they realized they were no longer thrown together in the rush of adrenaline and frustration. They were together on the good days and in the smiling moments.

A thousand small decisions tied them to one another.

MC wasn’t just a girl in a bar.

She never had been.

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[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

The Table is Prepared for You

Luke’s spent too much time alone and knows he shouldn’t let anyone get too close. However, Dinah’s the one time that Luke lets his guard down--and he knows he can’t do it again. 

Vampire!Luke. Black!OC. Here it is, 14k words!

CW: Death/Near Death.

Enjoy my masterlist.

You can support me on kofi

Shout out to @notinthesameguey​ for this moodboard (below), well before any of this was finished. 

(Dinah’s hair is curly like in the first board, in case there’s any confusion!)

Inspired by: Godspeed James Blake’s Cover and Kill My Time by 5 Seconds of Summer

_______________________________________

The snow is wet under his boots and he almost wishes he could feel just how cold it is cutting beneath the leather jacket. Instead, he feels nothing but the slight crisp wisp of wind against his nose. If his body still pumped warm, he’s sure the tip of his nose would be bright red. Quickly, Luke tucks the curls whipping in the wind behind his ear and keeps his gaze trained on the constantly lapping sea the people--folks crossing the streets, cars blaring by, people brushing past him as they carry on from their subway rides back to the surface. 

“Hey!” Luke’s learned from spending time in this city, in all its evolution, just to keep walking. Whoever’s attention needs to be grabbed will either be grabbed or be missed. “Seriously, excuse me!” 

Fingers brush over Luke’s jacket and though initially he wants to bristle at the touch, Luke reminds himself it’s dead of winter. No one’s going to be alarmed. Turning, Luke walks himself to the edge of the sidewalk, mostly out of the way. “Me?” he asks. 

The young man  in front of him is doubled down in the puffy winter coat--down to his knees-- and a gray beanie. Posed in the ungloved fingers is a camera. The boy lifts up the camera, as if that will explain everything. “I-I’m working on my portfolio. I was wondering if I could shoot you right quick. Right here, doesn’t have to be somewhere fancy.”

Luke shakes his head and before he can speak, the young man continues. “I swear, I’m a photography student. I’m so close to down, deadlines right before break. Please, man. You’d be perfect. The whole thing’s about ordinary people. I shoot a few pictures. A quick five minute interview and then, you go on your merry way. Ain’t looking for trouble.”

It’s the backpack, the earnest and pleading look that pulls down the younger man’s brows. His nose is pink, fingers and hands ducking quickly into his coat pockets. “I don’t think you’re looking for trouble. I just--I don’t think I photograph well,” Luke returns, squinting his eyes at the reflection of the sun off the fresh snow. 

“Dude, take it from me, you’ve got looks. And all it would take is just the right angles, right about light exposure. Today’s a little hit or miss.”

The sky’s pretty cloudy but every so often there’s a fleck of a sunshine and Luke does his best to avoid it. The snow clouds will be leaving soon and that means Luke should be too. And it’s probably dumb to say that leaving New York is hard, the memories that are linked here. But it almost feels like home--if he could remember what home really feels like. 

Luke bites down onto his lip, head still shaking. Maybe the shaking will loosen the memories and bring them back to the surface. Maybe the shake will deter the young man’s insistence. Luke doesn’t really know how he photographs, don’t remember the last time he’s seen himself, as whole, as fully a being. Besides, Luke shouldn’t be photographed. No one’s seen him in a couple hundred years and Luke needs it to say that way, needs to continue under the radar. Not that anyone that would have a vendetta against him wouldn’t be able to find him away. The world’s really only so big in the grand scheme of things--there are only so many continents and so many countries, and so many corners to hide in the world. 

Looking over the streets, Luke almost laughs at how he picked one of the busiest and most densely populated places to hang out for a while. Maybe it’s because with so many people around there’s no way anyone would pick him out of a crowd. Until now, until some kid stopped him on the fucking street. 

“Just for your class?” Luke asks, flicking his squinted gaze back to the man. The wind’s picked up again and he’s facing into it, harshly. It’s nearly drying his eyes out. 

“Yeah, just for my class. Look,” he says, pulling out his phone. His fingers look an unhealthy color, like they’re tittering on too pink to be okay. 

“How long you been out here?” It’s a soft question that nearly gets swept up into the gust of wind that passes. 

“Couple of hours. Class starts around 1 and I need this last shoot as soon as possible.” He holds out the phone. Luke takes it, scrolling through the webpage. It’s a sleek design, each photoshoot highlighted by one picture. When Luke tapes onto it, it takes a second to load and then more pop up. There’s a quick paragraph, maybe two, and the rest of the photos.

“Where should I pose?” Luke asks, handing the phone back over. Luke will be gone soon anyway and they can’t really stand to be out in the cold for much longer anyway. 

“Wait, seriously?”

With a nod, Luke tucks more hair back and is quick to place his fingers back into his pockets. “Yeah, just tell me where.”

The young man looks around for a second, the backpack hitting the pole of the street sign. Luke winches, hoping there’s no expensive equipment in the bag. “Over here,” he says with a nod over to the corner. He starts to push through the stream and Luke follows behind him. They pause under some stairs, most likely the fire escape for an apartment complex. “Look over your shoulder for me right quick.”

Luke keeps his body pointed to the man and then looks over his shoulder for a second. “Like this?”

“Perfect. How long have you lived in the city?”

Luke shrugs, turning his attention back to the man. He inhales with a hiss, trying to think. “Couple years? Maybe three. Feels so long and it’s really not.” Luke chuckles, ducking his head for a moment. “God, my memory’s shit.” Luke thinks he hears the shutter go off but he’s not sure. 

“No, I feel you on that. I moved back for school and somehow time doesn��t feel quite the same here in the city. You in the city for modeling?”

Luke feels the shock raising his brows. “Me? Modeling?” A small laugh escapes him, mostly in sarcasm. “No, no, just have some family here. Moved from Delaware. Just seeing where life takes me, I guess.” Luke combs his fingers through his hair, pushing it all back. What he needs is a haircut, and to probably get a move on that whole finishing his trek up north. Life’s taken him plenty of places before and now it feels less like living and more like visiting. It’s going back to all those places from before and wondering how long could a life actually feel. 

“So you just float? Taking you wherever the wind blows?”

It’s only at the question that Luke realizes he hasn’t dropped his hands from his hair. “Yeah, yeah,” he says, dropping his hands. “It’s just easier. In some ways. Like I don’t really have to think too much--just find a job that pays well enough, experience what there is to experience and then, when it’s all said and done, just move on.”

“Guess you’ve learned to pack light, huh?”

Luke grins, a bit of laughter escaping him. “You could say that.” It’s not even light. It’s like having nothing. There’s the essentials of course, some special pieces that have been accrued along the way, but nothing with real weight besides memories. And even those fade eventually. He remembers certain things, important things. Like his mother’s face, or the way his brother would tease him sometimes. But he can’t remember where he grew up, not completely, just hazy rewatchings when he closes his eyes for a moment's rest. 

“What about you?” Luke asks, absentmindedly reaching up to the bottom of the stairs above his head. “You said you moved back here?”

“Yeah, I was born here. Family moved to Virginia and then I moved back. Missed it here.” There’s another shutter of the camera. “So you taking stuffy office jobs? Chasing a passion? You’re a traveler, nonetheless.”

“Odd jobs--mostly night shifts. This city never sleeps and it’s almost better to be awake when mostly everyone else is asleep. Feel less judged.” Right now he was working in the hospital. And though, it wasn’t always easy on him, he enjoyed it. 

“I don’t think anyone’s judging you too harshly. Probably most likely out of envy.”

“Thanks,” Luke says with an awkward chuckle. “Guess I’m still awkward. Unsure of myself.” And it’s easy to be unsure when you’ve seen nearly 150 years on the earth, like what else can you do? What else is there to do besides just float?

“I’ve wondered if it’ll ever go away,” the young man says, pulling down the camera from his face. “Will we ever be sure of ourselves?”

Luke nods, pondering the thought. “The one thing I’m sure of is that every choice I’ve made, I made for a reason. Like even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else, I had a reason. And I hope you-you feel that way eventually. Every choice made had a reason behind it.”

“That’s kind of comforting. Like, I’m not making choices on guess, I’ve got a reason for it.”

“Yeah.” There’s a small lull and Luke looks back to the sky. The clouds look like they’re about to part. “Are-are we good? Got what you need?”

The man nods. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks. What’s your name by the way?”

“Luke. Yours?”

“Andrew. Um--” There’s a moment's pause and Andrew reaches into his pockets again. He pulls out a piece of paper and finds a pen from the pocket of his bag. “I’ll write down the name of the site. The pictures will be up by the end of the week.”

Luke takes the paper with a nod. “I look forward to seeing them.” He pockets the note and says goodbye. He’s quick in his strides to correct course back to the subway entrance and bounces down the stairs. He winds down the tunnel and finds his yellow card in his wallet. The swipe is quick as the light turns green for him to pass through. 

It’s only as his boots click against the concrete and they echo, that Luke looks at the murals, the way the eyes follow his journey. It’s not regret that settles into his gut. He doesn’t regret stopping to help Andrew. Luke hopes that Andrew is somewhere warm or on his way to somewhere warm in all honesty. But maybe what bugs Luke is that he has plans. He had plans to linger in New York for at least another six months before moving again. His last visit in Delaware had lasted nearly two years and in all truth, it was nice to settle in somewhere. But Luke knew if he got too settled in, he was going to run the risk of getting comfortable. There was a guy he had started talking to. They guy always come in late to the gym and they’d talk for a while as Luke wiped down the gym equipment. That was Luke’s sign to get out of dodge, to try and start over. 

Sure, Luke had his degrees. He had done the whole career thing. The only thing about that is building a legacy--having a face plastered somewhere so he did his ten years or so and then slipped from the grid. Went back to school, took classes in a smattering of things that weren’t related but interested him. Sure there were better things to do than work nights at gyms, or do the late shift at a theater, or wipe down dorms at colleges, but it kept him anonymous. 

Now Luke would mostly likely not be anonymous for much longer. Who knows what could happen once those pictures get posted. And Luke really couldn’t risk staying in town too much longer to find out either. So the eyes follow him, but he won’t be around for a long while. Luke hopes that they remember well. He’s sure the next time he comes back around those murals will look different, there will be more other faces to watch him click his boots to the train. 

The eyes do eventually become real. Sitting in the hospital, listening to the constant keep of the heart monitors, Luke knows almost immediately people are watching him. “Going a different route than the scrubs, Hemmings.” 

Luke looks up from his cup of coffee, brows pulling into each other. It’s one of the pediatric nurses, Lucy. “I’m sorry?” he laughs. 

She holds out her phone. The night is chilly and both of them should be wearing jackets. But there’s no use anyway. Luke knows he’s got to get back to the second floor and help get some rooms ready. Lucy could be paged at any second. “When I was grabbing my nutritious honey bun, your face popped up on my timeline.”

Luke takes the device and sees his photos, hand buried his hair as he’s posed underneath the stairwells. It is a great photo if Luke’s going to be honest. The exposure is just right even if it was a little cloudy that day and a quick skim through the paraphy tells him Andrew got a lot more from Luke than just an awkward conversation with lines like, There’s an uncertainty, an air of hyper self awareness to him. But through it all, there’s a caring heart and the want to settle--maybe that’s what we all share, a yearning for something, no matter what it is. We are wanting people. I don’t know what Luke wants; I can’t even fathom a guess. But I do know that I want him to know that he’s compassion doesn’t go unnoticed and even though it didn’t seem like I would get this project finished, I appreciate his willingness to help a stranger. 

“Andrew--he needed some help with his portfolio for photography school.”

“I keep telling you with a heart of gold and looks to kill you shouldn’t be changing bed sheets and dumping stool,” Lucy says, taking her phone back. The air’s cut by the crinkle of her plastic wrapping, her teeth sink into the icing and sweet dough. 

“It’s not all bad,” he counters, sipping his cup once again. “Last week, the older woman on floor 5, that kept saying she was going to bake for everyone--you hear about her?” Lucy nods, a soft hum coming from her. “She sent me flowers. Said I had the neatest sheet tuck she had ever seen. It’s not all bad.” Luke omits the times he sat up with her, fetching her water when her kids had to leave or when she just wanted a chat later in the evenings, he stopped to chat with her. 

“You getting sweet with the older woman, I see? Tell me, trying to get into a will?”

Barely managing to keep the sip of coffee in his mouth, Luke covers his mouth with a hand. His amusement wrinkles his nose and as the sip goes down, he lets his laughter erupt from him in the squeaks. “No, not at all.”

Lucy shrugs, her ponytail starting to fall just a little. “Look all I’m saying is you got in good with an older woman--she’d get you straight. No more sheet tucking for you.”

Luke takes her snack so she can readjust the hair tie. “When I start to really struggle, I’ll consider it,” the sentence falls with the tail end of some giggles. Silence settles back around them cut by the sips and crinkles and inevitably a pager, Lucy’s signal to twirl back into her Wonder Woman suit. 

“One of these days, I’ll be able to finish a snack. Want the rest?”

“No thanks. Gotta keep my figure now,” Luke teases. 

The half honeybun lands into the trash with an echoing thud and Lucy rushes back through the side doors but not before throwing over her shoulder, “You’re figure is fine. The older woman would kill to plumpen you up anyway.” Luke doesn’t doubt that. His own mother would also heap his plates with seconds, even if he didn’t ever ask for them. 

The morning sky hasn’t fully cracked open yet when Luke finally gets to leave, his own jacket tucking away the seafoam green color of his scrubs. There’s usually not too much life happening as he’s leaving. The end of this shit doesn’t feel much different than the others. However, in the ten minute shuffle to the subway, Luke doesn’t miss the lingering glances. Even as his body jostles with the not completely steady rattle of the train, he can feel eyes on him.

 He keeps his head down. If he doesn’t give in, the stares aren’t real. But one less stop from his neighborhood, he risks a glance up. A few heads turn away, but a couple people continue to gaze at him. He wonders if it’s the dirty blonde of his hair, or his pointed nose that seems to be holding their attention. The train lurches to a stop, doors hissing as they open. Only a handful of people step onto the train and their presence cuts the tension of recognition for a moment. Though Luke fears that that tension will haunt him. 

The sun cuts through the skies just as Luke fetches his keys from his pocket and scurries inside his complex. Waiting for the tiny apartment’s elevator to open, Luke knows he has to get out of town and soon while he’s at it. His job can replace him. He can tell them anything, and be gone within the day. As the elevator takes him up, Luke’s already drafting the email to his landlord about his unfortunate rushed exit. 

By the setting of the sun, Luke’s apartment is packed up into his two suitcases and duffle bag. He rolls his bags behind him as his boots click on the concrete. The murals watch him traveling down their corridors and Luke’s hoping they memorize the way he looks, because this is their last meeting. As the walls of concrete whizz by, Luke keeps his eyes trained to the ground. He’s not entirely sure where he’s going from here. Luke had planned to continue up and cross the border into Canada. But that plan relied on a little bit more time, smuggling his belongings across the lines well before he planned on jetting. 

It’s okay though. In the night, he can still get across. As the train comes to its stop, Luke thinks he has to get off eventually. And this stop is as good as any. So he climbs to the surface. He’s not too far from the bus terminals and he knows the airports not too far either. But he can’t fly, or he shouldn’t fly. It’s only as he gazes over the neon lights lighting up the darkening sky, that the craving hits him. 

Coffee, as well as tea, are one of the few things from his previous life that Luke still craves. It’s much more about the taste that soothes him. That and it’s easy to fake being warm with a piping hot cup of coffee or tea in his hands. Luke notices a small diner, just as two people exit from it. He’s heard about the place, hasn’t gone in just yet but maybe he ought to now and buy himself some time on his next move--he needs a paper trail, even if it goes cold. 

Inside the diner is bright, a little cramped in the way of seating. “Booth or counter?” the hostess asks. 

“Booth,” Luke returns and follows as she waves for him. The red accents do a number to date the place but it’s well kept for how long it seems to have been around. Sinking into the squeaky leather, Luke thanks the hostess for the menu. 

“Anything I can start you with?”

“Coffee. Cream and sugar.”

She nods. “Water too?”

“Uh, yeah, thanks.” The menu reminds Luke that he wishes, deeply, that his appetite hadn’t left him. He can eat food and does, time to time, but on the whole, nothing is quite as satisfying anymore. It’s the plate of fries that Luke keeps eyes, even as the mug and glass are placed. 

“Need more time with that menu?”

“Yes, please.” Then it’s just Luke once again, eying that plate of fries and knowing that even if he does get it, he won’t get more than a few down before his stomach clenches. 

“Let me guess.” Luke knows that voice. Though, it’s been nearly sixty years since he’s heard it. “It wasn’t me, it was you.”

“Dinah,” Luke breathes out, unsure if his eyes are actually seeing what he thinks they are taking in. 

She grins, hair just as curly and large as it was the last time he saw her. And the more Luke gazes at her, the more he notices, not much has changed about her. Her skin is still tanned. Her eyes still crinkle just a little in the smile. “It’s been, a long time,” Luke starts, unsure of how to phrase the question. 

“Got space for one more?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Luke waves to the seat opposite of him and she slips into the booth, the leather squeaking underneath her weight too. Luke’s looking for any sign of the time’s that past--a wrinkle, bags under the eyes, anything. But all he sees is Dinah, when she was 28. It’s the same Dinah that would get up during karaoke and belt out songs like she was the one recording it in a studio. It’s the same Dinah that he walked back to her place after an impromptu meeting, and though coffee at her place sounded innocuous, he knew then what that twinkle in her eye meant. 

“Shocked to see you here. Coming or going?”

“Leaving, actually.”

“Funny how life works.”

Luke furrows his brow, head cocking to the side. “What do you mean?”

“Just got into town. Thought it would be nice to have a familiar face to show me around.” Her gaze, behind the dark brown eyes, is heavy. Her fingers play at the corner of the napkin box. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Wait--did you know I was here?”

“The internet is quite literally the world wide web,” Dinah chuckles. 

The photos. She must’ve seen them. And even if she had seen then, how did she get to New York so fast? Why would she even be looking for him? “That it is,” Luke agrees, carefully stirring the steaming drink in front of him. He can’t get over how she hasn’t aged at all. There’s nothing. She doesn’t even seem to be walking with a limp or have difficulty sitting down. As if she had somehow frozen herself in time. 

There was no way though. Who would’ve turned her? It hadn’t been him. And Luke hadn’t heard anything about attacks on human in a long time. Was Dinah not even human when they met? Was she something else? Before Luke can think of his next question, the waitress comes back. “How’s that menu looking?”

“Great,” Dinah returns. “Just a plate of fries.” There’s not even a blink of shock at the order and soon, it’s just Luke and Dinah again. 

“So, how--what have you been up to?”

Dinah shrugs. “Not much. Still singing, making ends meet. What about you?”

“Just making it really.”

“Still bouncing around, huh?”

Luke nods. “Yeah, you know me. Can’t stay in one place too long.”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember.” The sentence comes out heavy, the end of it tilting up just a little in anger, maybe it’s resentment. 

Luke knew he shouldn’t have gone in for coffee. He knew what Dinah was looking for, what she was hoping to get. Luke liked to blame it on the fact that he hasn’t properly eaten in a while. He blamed that for his clouded judgement. The truth of the matter is that Luke wanted more out of it too. He wanted to sip on their mugs, at the dining room table. He wanted to move to the couch too. He wanted to give in. But he knew he couldn’t. The moment she got in too close, the moment he didn’t have that mug warming his hands--it would be all over for him. 

“It wasn’t because of you,” Luke counters. “My leaving wasn’t because of something you did.”

Dinah exhales, but nods. The plate of fries is placed between them and they smile up at the hostess, watching her disappear towards the counter to wrap more silverware. Dinah picks up a fry and munches on it, eyes lifted up and away. 

“You know,” she says after swallowing the bite. Her hands stretch out across the table. Instinctively, Luke pulls his hands back, attempting to duck them under the table. But she’s just as fast, if not faster and before Luke can get his hands safely out of her each, her fingers are pressed into his skin. “I always wondered what that would’ve felt like.”

She should be seeping warmth into him. She should be pulling her hand back and hissing at how cold his skin is, but instead, all Luke can feel is the weight of her fingers. How she’s pressing into his forearms and there’s actual pressure to it. “No,” Luke whispers, snapping his head up to look at her. 

Dinah’s eyes are locked in on how her hands looked wrapped around the leather jacket. Luke curls his hands around her exposed wrists. “A lot’s happened since the last time we met, if I’m honest,” she says. It’s only as they lock gazes that Luke knows. Even if she doesn’t ever say the word--Luke knows the truth. 

“Are you close by?” Luke asks. 

“All I have right now is my car. But I was looking to book a room for the night.” Dinah finishes the sentences with another handful of fries. It’s not enough of a dent to be believable, so Luke goes in for a handful too and the second the salt hits his tongue, his throat wants to close up, wants to tell him that this is not the thing it wanted. But he knows he can get it down. 

They split the cost of the ticket and then Luke follows her towards her car. He can’t shake the feel of how she was actually able to press into his skin and it felt like something. It didn’t hurt, but it was real. When he left her that night, sixty years ago, she was warm. Her blood pumped in her veins and Luke had to swallow down every urge to run his tongue over her neck, let his teeth graze her skin just to feel the quickened pulse. 

Dinah’s trunk is full with her own bags. However, Luke is able to squeeze in the bigger suitcase into the trunk before he slips the last two into the backseat. Before Dinah can even turn the key over in the ignition, Luke’s grabbing her hands again. She doesn’t pull back. Doesn’t hiss. “Either I’m insane or I’ve finally croaked.”

Dinah chuckles, slipping her hands from his. “Last time I checked, it took a hell of a lot to kill a vampire.”

Luke stares at her profile, if he had a heart to race it would be right now. Who changed her? What had Dinah gotten herself into to wind up like him? Luke runs the tips of his fingers along her jaw and then down to her neck. And there’s nothing. Much like him. No steady thrum just below the surface of the skin, no blood pumping in their veins. He presses down, nails into her skin and he’s met with some resistance. “Holy shit.” 

Luke’s only ever run into other vampires in hunts, or when new floaters happen to cross into the town he’s lingering about in. Most of the time, they only pass each other with a nod of recognition. It’s a simple act, let’s them both know there’s no trouble and keeps the number of enemies low. Luke’s never had many of those. Once or twice a vampire would come down after him about territory and he’s never really fought anyone about that. There was always a way to hang out and not cross any lines. Though, Luke hadn’t run across anyone else like him in at least 45 years. It had always been a lonely existence, but it was made exceptionally isolating when Luke felt like he was the only one on the fucking planet like this. Part of him is happy that Dinah found him. He’s relieved to know that he doesn’t walk about the living as the only living dead. 

“What happened?”

“Now ain’t that the million dollar question.” The car finally rumbles to life and the radio plays softly, an old school jazz station. “First, though, where are we headed? You know New York better than I do.”

Luke nods, exhaling. If she doesn’t want to talk about it right now, then he won’t push it. He glances out of the window and rattles off directions to a hotel that isn’t too far from them. And not too far from that is a motel just in case the first option doesn’t work. Dinah’s silent the rest of the drive. It wouldn’t be so bad if the drive took the five minutes it was supposed to take in theory. However, the lights catch them often and they sit idle, in silence, knowing something brews beneath the surface but never acknowledging it fully. 

Could have Dinah been looking for him long? Considering she hadn’t seemed to age past what she looked like sixty years ago, she definitely had to have been turned soon after Luke left. The questions all build on his tongue but he only directs her down the blocks, only lets keep straight, or make this right escape his mouth. When they pull up to the hotel, and see it bustling with folks, Luke thinks about Dinah. Had she built up a tolerance to being around humans yet? She’s still relatively young in the life span of a vampire and Luke wondered if this many people around would be setting her up for failure. 

“We can go somewhere else,” Luke suggests. “I can check us in and you can just wait in the car until I get the keys.”

“I’m okay,” Dinah returns, brows pulled together. “Are you comfortable?”

“No, I was-I was just thinking about you that’s all.”

Dinah shrugs, grabbing a backpack from back behind the driver seat and Luke pulls out his own duffle bag. Dinah’s gait is a little fast, not too fast that it looks completely unnatural. But seeing her still learning, or relearning everything she once was so good at, makes Luke smile. The learning curve isn’t a smooth turn. There are a lot of mistakes. Not blinking enough, having to make sure you’re seen eating, or something, keeping as warm as you can. Luke’s learned some tricks, hand warmers in his pockets, holding onto thermos with hot tea. Being seen in the day just enough that no one suspects anything but not bouncing about in sunlight for too long. 

It’s only in the elevator, as a few more people climb in and Luke and Dinah scoot closer together, hands brushing again that Luke thinks about what she said in the diner. I’ve always wondered what that would’ve felt like. How did she know Luke was like her? The elevator stops and a family gets off. Luke reaches forward and hits for the top floor. Dinah looks up to him, brows furrowing together. 

He shouldn’t have given into her so easily back at the diner. He should’ve stayed their longer and asked her more questions. He should’ve investigated more about what she was doing in New York. He shouldn’t have thought about they way she felt, gently brushing up against his shoulder on their walk up to her place. He shouldn’t have thought about the way she looked at him. Memories were deadly. He found Dinah at a bar. He was playing with a band at the time. Nothing too big, just enough to pay his rent in LA. But back then, it was about the love of the thing and not how much money could be attained. She was performing at the open mic night. It was just her and her ukulele but she played it so well, her heavy voice echoing around the bar. She has vocals too big, too bright, too smooth to be captured into four walls. Luke went up to compliment her, just to let her know that he recognized her talent. He wasn’t often one to go up to people. But by then he had spent almost a hundred years on the planet and hiding away in forests was getting exhausting. Luke took his venturing out to the humans slow and steady before finding his comfort level. 

And it doesn’t even help now that he’s remembering the way she called him just to talk and how they walked the beach late that night before she drove both of them back to her place. Her hair blew in the breeze off the salt water and she smelt like strawberries with a hint of something else, that at the time he hadn’t been able to place, but found it out to be a kind of hair grease. He can smell it now, as she stands next to him. 

The level their room is on finally comes up but neither one of them steps off. Instead they let the doors close and carry up to the top. Once on the top floor, they take a step off and Dinah waits. If they wanted to get onto the roof they’d have to find a staircase and fast before someone just sees them standing about and not heading to a room. Luke peels off the left and she follows, pushing her back up higher on her shoulder. She is silent as she follows and thankfully, at the right turn at the end of the hallway they’re met the stairs. Up they go, and even the locked door, it does not remain locked. The night looks different up this high--they’re closer to the stars, or what would be stars but are more than likely just the lights reflecting off the city below. 

“Who sent you? And what do they want?”

“No one sent me, Luke. What’s going on?”

“No one knows. I haven’t told a soul what I am. But you know. I didn’t leave you a note when I left. So how do you know? Are they using you as a lure to get to me?”

Dinah stares up to the sky, trying to keep the tears at bay. Her throat seizes for a moment. “You left. And I went looking, hanging out at the bars we used to go. I couldn’t find you. So I asked a couple folks around. And I fucking asked the wrong questions, I guess. Or maybe I was asking the wrong folks.”

Wrong questions? What wrong questions could she have been asking? Luke didn’t keep close to anyone. Or he tried not to at least. He wasn’t always good at it. Seeing as Dinah’s standing in front of him right now. Luke wants to take a step forward. He wants to give into her. Her gaze hasn’t dropped from the skies and he can see the way her throat constantly works, as if tears are produced in the throat, as if that will keep her from crying. “Who were you talking to? What are you talking about? You sure it’s not the council?”

Dinah shakes her head. “No one’s after you Luke. But me. I could’ve given you up. I could’ve let you be, but I couldn’t. Not after what happened.”

“That’s the thing, nothing happened Dinah. As much as I wanted to, as much as I thought about it, nothing happened that night.”

She shakes her head, lips pushed together into a tight line. “No, you left and I thought it was weird and I wanted to be angry with you. But most of all, I was confused. I wanted to know why had left. And damn, it wasn’t like you left that night and I ran into two weeks later. You completely disappeared. No one at the bar knew where you went. I talked to the guys that were in your band. Two of them had not a clue where you had gone and they were pissed, but they moved on. Mike talked to me later, told me I should just let the whole thing go. He kept saying I was eventually going to bark up the wrong tree at the right time.”

“Mike?” Luke questions. Mike was always a little out there, that was undeniable. He was deep into his history and deep into the supernatural. But not in any sort of way that made Luke super suspicious of him. 

Dinah nods. “Yeah, he left before I really as him what he was going on about and when I called him the next day, I got no answer. Didn’t shock me. But then the rest of the band noticed Mike had just turned up missing. Mike and I--we started hanging out more. Even though I thought it was a little strange at first, he was definitely still sweet. That didn’t sit well with me. I waited for a little bit, then made a police report. And I don’t know. Maybe that’s what tipped the scales. Or maybe the scales were tipped from the start. I’m leaving the bar one night after a show, the rest of my group’s left already. But I hung back to watch the last few people play. And these two guys keep buying me drinks. I took the first one, just to be polite and they were kinda cute. 

“One drinks turns into two. Two drinks turns into them approaching me. They ask me about my music; it all seems fine. We have good conversation. They leave the bar before me. They fucking left! That’s what will never fail to get me. They fucking left and halfway to my place. I get the feeling that I’m being followed. I don’t see anyone behind me. But I’ve always trusted my gut. So I start picking up the pace a little and I round the corner. Run into the same two guys before the bar. We chat for just a little bit longer. I keep fidgeting because I can’t see if anyone’s behind me. Everyone seems not suspicious. They offer to walk me home.”

“They were following you,” Luke deduces. “And they cut you off after they realized you were picking up on them to make it seem like a big whole coincidence.”

“Yeah. We walked and they asked me some questions about who I knew out in L.A. They were new in town and were trying to get their footing. So I was telling them about my band, and I mentioned Mike and your band. Never mentioned your name. Didn’t even want to utter it, or think about it. But just that small connection was the tiny piece. We got to my place and I was getting ready to tell them goodnight when one of them hauled me inside. He was really cold to the touch. I tried to fight back but, it wasn’t even like anything I did affected them. They kept asking me about you and if I knew. I didn’t know what they were on about. I was like, the guy up and left me and his friends, don’t know anymore than that.

“They kept saying I had to know something Mike knew a lot, gave it all up very quickly. The other one kept smelling my hair and neck and I could feel how sharp his teeth were. I told them I didn’t want to die. I would give them anything they wanted, I just didn’t want to die.” She can see the sinister gleam to their eyes, even now. They way they looked at each other, sharing the same thought. All Dinah knew is that she’d do whatever not to die. 

“They were from counsel? The two guys?”

“Don’t really know for certain. I haven’t seen them since, though I went looking. They tortured me. Small bits along my arms and legs, saying that I would tell them everything I knew. And they warned me that others that caught wind of my explorations wouldn’t be so generous. But all I really remember is just how my body felt like it was going cold but also every nerve ending felt like it was being stabbed, over and over and over again. I think I blacked out once or twice from the pain. I remember small bits of them arguing and then I woke up later in a shallow grave.”

“They buried you?” 

“Guess so. I’m not really sure what happened but I think I was carried when I heard them bickering. And when I came too, my arms were crossed over my chest. I could feel things crawling on me. First thought was I was in a sewer or something, but then things felt kinda loose. Stuff was in my nose and it smelled earthy. I panicked at first but it didn’t take me too much longer before I clawed my way out, realizing I had been buried.”

“So what did they want with you that had to do with me? Do you know who council is or what it is?”

Dinah nods. “I know who they are.”

It’s a fact, cold as it falls from her lips. Luke gazes at her, the way she blinks rapidly. His body is carrying his forward. One step, then another and soon, he’s closed the gap between them. He takes her hand, thumb stroking at her knuckles. “Hey, it’s alright.”

A harsh exhale leaves her, a scoff--it carries all the pain she’s yet to utter. Luke hears how heavy it is. Dinah finally brings her gaze to Luke’s face. The piercing blue eyes and button nose. It shocked her initially. When she saw his picture pop up on her social media. He hadn’t aged a day, it was as if someone had found a way into her memory of Luke and perfectly recreate it. 

Dinah holds a steady gaze as she talks. “Council were the ones that found me. I stayed out in the woods. I didn’t know what had happened to me, but I knew it wasn’t good. And I wanted to cry, but it hurt too damn much. Being in the sun hurt. I was in pain, and I couldn’t tell what would ease it. In the day, I had to find ways to hide, tucked into trees, finding tiny caves or places to hide. Some hikers came by. I smelled them. And I knew, or at least I figured what it might be, what I might’ve turned into.

“Council found me. Apparently, there aren’t many of us hanging around the parts of LA. They were coming into town anyway to see how the rest of us were holding up, behaving. They caught the two that tortured and turned me. They were trackers of the council. Only sent out to sniff out the town. They found Mike, tracked him down. They found me.  Apparently, they had actually killed Mike, but not me.”

Luke always knew those guys were getting older and possibly dead. He tried not to linger too much in the past. He didn’t read obituaries. He didn’t even halfway have social media. Luke liked to think that they would always be able to grow old though. That they would always have the one experience he did not, they could live a life. They could settle down. They could see children grow up and have grandchildren, even great grandchildren. Luke was stuck, permanently. 

“Fuck, not Mike.” Mike--well, he was Mike. In all his eccenteries, he was still a good guy, he had been planning on asking this girl that he had been seeing to take a step up in their relationship. Or that’s what Luke last remembers. Luke pictured Mike married, a house full of dogs, maybe a couple kids. That idea suited Mike, who liked the calmer things in life. It still guts Luke though, shoulders sagging. He turns away, looking out over the city. God, Mike dead such a horrific death--terrified and unsure of what was happening to him or why he was the one targeted. And if Luke had just kept to himself, if Luke hadn’t been so fucking cursed to be lonely. 

“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news,” Dinah says. 

Luke shakes his head. “No, don’t be sorry. I’m-I’m the one’s that sorry.” There’s a silent pause. “Fuck,” he exhales again. “I-I didn’t mean for any of that to happen. Not you and not Mike either.” He can feel his own fingers starting to tremble now. He should’ve stuck around in town. He could’ve intercepted the trackers and told them that Dinah and Mike weren’t aware of anything, that they were just people living lives in all it’s boringness sometimes. 

“God,” Luke croaks. “I am so fucking sorry. I should’ve stuck around. I could-I could’ve saved Mike and you.”

Dinah grabs onto his shoulders, though she’s always been a good head shorter than Luke, she does her best. It’s more shoulder blade and back than shoulder. She wants to tell him she doesn’t blame him. Well, at least not now. Before she did. Before she was angry. Before she dreamed of being able to confront Luke and rip him a new asshole. She wanted to know why he left and because he left, it left her like this--not dead but not alive either. 

And sure, there’s still some anger. Sure, Dinah wants answers. Most of all, she just wants connection. She has spent the last sixty years, in and out of jobs, mostly holed up, always bouncing from town to town. She was terrified to get too close. But loneliness is heavy. It made her shoulders ache and if she could lay in bed and sleep days, months, years away, she would. Because it was better than walking through this life, if that’s the word to use, alone. 

Luke escaped her house, exiting through her own front doors as she went to the restroom and vanished. Dinah hadn’t always planned on tracking Luke down. The council took her in for a couple of decades. She learned the rules and the laws of this new version of herself. But council wasn’t the greatest company. They were too busy giving into every desire, too busy attempting to rule people, and at the time she was merely a servant role. She listened in on meetings, waiting for one of them to ask for a refill of their glass or to fetch a live drinking fountain, as they liked to call humans. And Dinah knew she couldn’t stay there forever. They let her go with ease, surprisingly. Though she has to check in every once and a while. They told her that they were family, and family always checked in on each other. 

It didn’t feel like family, but it was something and almost every decade or so, Dinah would think about going back. When she first got back out into the world, she had to figure out how to lay low, make some money to get by in the world, but not stick around for too long that suspicion would be raised. That’s when Luke came back to her, that’s when she realized all the things she wanted previously, the house and the husband, and the kids were something she’d never be able to achieve. 

“I was angry for a long time,” Dinah says. “And I don’t know. Call it stubbornness and stupidity, call it having all the time in the fucking world, but I knew I’d find you. I knew I could finally get some answers.”

There’s nothing malicious in her touch. It’s a soft presence, even as she slides her down his back and then it’s gone. They’re standing side by side. “I’ll answer any questions you have.” It’s the least he can do, after everything that has happened. It won’t feel like enough. Even as Luke lets the promise cross his lips, it’s not enough for the amount of years she’s spent hurt and confused, and angry. 

“We did pay for a room, so no sense in not using it, don’t you think?” Dinah offers. If she’s honest, she still doesn’t trust the night all too much. Some nights, ones that are too pretty and too serene, make her tense. She knows it’s fear—it’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. She still watches over her shoulder. The thing that she can only really be herself in is the same thing that strikes fear into her. 

They climb back through the stairs and into the elevator in silence. It’s a little tense, Luke can feel it pressing onto him through the jacket. What questions does she have? Surely, waking up realizing that you’re not dead but not who you used to be is not an easy thing to discover. And surely, there’s part of terror that won’t be leaving her anytime soon. What counselor would be prepared for that either? Luke thought about seeing one. But it never seemed to be a fruitful thought. 

The light on the door lights up green as Dinah holds the card to the reader and the gears click. All Luke notices though is the tight line her shoulders are in and the way she’s fast to click the lights on. The door closes with a heavy thud, gears clicking back into place. “What do you want to know?” Luke asks, letting his bag dropping on the left side of the bed. 

Dinah takes a seat at the chair in front of the desk. “When you left that night, did you know? About the trackers, about council coming into town?”

Luke shakes his head. “Didn’t have a clue.” 

Then it crosses her face, the piece of the puzzle that’s just never click for her. If Luke did know about the trackers and did leave to be avoided, it would make sense. If Luke was attempting to cover his own ass, and Dinah just happened to be in the crosshairs, it would suck, it wouldn’t make her happy, but it would finally make everything make sense. “So why the hell did you leave?”

Luke sighs, staring at the gray and green in the carpet of the floor. His brain’s telling him to say, had to. “I couldn’t stay in town.”

“But you just said that you didn’t know about the trackers!” Dinah pops up from the chair. Even though it’s a good six feet between them, she covers them before Luke can look up from the floor. Her finger pressed into his chest. “You just said that.”

Luke nods. “I-I know. I mean--” Is he about to tell her the truth? Won’t it sound silly now? Won’t it make him sound like a fucking coward? 

“Luke,” she warns. The finger presses in deeper. 

“You were human, or I assumed. I was always this,” Luke gestures to himself, as if trying to brush away something, but all he’s done is reveal himself. “We were getting too close. I was letting you get too close.”

“So, so you left.”

“Yes. To be fair, normally, my past doesn’t come back around. I’m the only one that ever remains. You know, though. You know when you invited me inside that it wasn’t a friendly chat. I knew it. I wanted to give in. I mean, fuck, you’re,” the words are failing him. Because all he can see in her eyes are just how dark they are, just how much they don’t want to let light in, but have always shone brightly. “I found you really attractive. Find? Found? Fuck, I don’t know anymore. But I couldn’t give in. You’d know something was different. You’d know I was different.”

“Because you run cold?”

“It’s not-not just that. That’s a give away for sure. But, we-- we don’t always feel a hundred percent human. And sure, I could’ve explained away that, and the fangs, and literally anything physical. But if I let myself give in that night, I’d have to let himself give in every night after that.”

Dinah furrows her brows. “Did-did you like me?” She won’t ask if he still does. That was so many decades ago.  By now, Luke has surely run into someone new. He had to have moved on. 

“Like feels much too simple. But yeah, I did like you, Dinah. I had spent a lot of time hiding before you met me. I was lonely and then I met the guys in the band. And then I met you and for those hours at night, when we played shows or hung out drinking, I almost remembered what it was like to be human. It was a lot easier to leave before anything happened.”

Her gut feels like a storm. She’s angry--that Luke left, that she got attacked, that Mike died. But she’s also heavy with sadness, all those feelings she thought she had buried are resurfacing. She liked Luke too. She thought maybe she had found someone that was finally going to see her for who she was, not what she looked like, not the color of her skin. And sure LA at the time wasn’t the worst place but it still had it’s issues. Her palms press into his chest and she pushes Luke. It’s hard, more so than what she intended. It sends up backward, with just enough time to stop himself from slamming into the wall, if not through it into the other room. “I thought-I thought for a long time something bad had happened to you. I went around asking about you! I worried myself beyond belief. No one could get a hold of you! You were a fucking ghost.”

Luke catches the lamp as it teeters on the edge of the stand. It’s light flickers before remaining steadily on. “I-I’m sorry.” But sorry really doesn’t fix it, he knows. Because if Luke hadn’t left in the night, then maybe, Dinah wouldn’t have asked around. And maybe the trackers wouldn’t have singled her or Mike out. 

“You know, I almost wish you had known about the trackers. I wish I was just caught at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“If I knew trackers were coming, I would’ve stuck around. I would’ve shown them that you and Mike weren’t a threat. But I didn’t. I didn’t have a clue. And I’m so sorry about what happened to you. And I wish I could’ve done something.”  The rest of the thought stops on the tip of his tongue, but I can’t. 

“I hate the night,” she confesses softly. The words sound like they barely want to leave her throat. “I hate it because it’s halfway the only time I can be me, I’m not under a thousand layers. And I hate it because that’s when you left. And I hate it because even though the council killed those two trackers, I still feel them watching me.”

“You didn’t deserve that. You don’t deserve to carry that anxiety either.” Luke finally pushes up off the wall, praying there’s no real damage. He doesn’t dare check now though. 

Dinah’s just watching him, attempting to keep the shakes in her hands at a minimum. She can’t tell if she fully blames Luke or not. She can’t know for certain that if Luke hadn't left that she would’ve never been changed. She can’t know for certain that if Luke didn’t leave that the trackers could’ve been stopped, or that they wouldn’t come back. “If you had stayed, wouldn’t you have left eventually? Isn’t that what you’re doing now leaving?”

Luke knows he would’ve left eventually. Even if he didn’t stay around longer, even if he hadn’t run away that night, he would’ve eventually left. It’s all he’s good at--leaving. “I could’ve stayed there forever, no. Eventually, I would’ve left you. But I wouldn’t have left you like I did. I would’ve told you something easy to handle. A bear attack that was terrible. Maybe I tell you I’m leaving to go back home to my family for an emergency and I get on a train and for whatever reason, I don’t make it to the destination I told you I was going. And a letter comes in the mail a few weeks later, telling you what happened because your address is written down on a piece of paper in the pocket of the pants I’m wearing. And that lie would’ve hurt, whichever lie I choose, but it’s much better than just disappearing into thin air. I know that now. I didn’t know that then.

“And I was scared too. I keep moving because I don’t want to get too close. I don’t pursue careers anymore. I take jobs no one wants. I hide because it’s so much easier. Dinah, you terrified me because you reminded me just how human I fucking was at one point. How much I still am some days. I bounce around because I’ve been on this fucking earth for 150 years and it’s only been me. I don’t have a group, I don’t have anyone else. And I could’ve had you--I wanted to have you.” 

The night Luke disappeared Dinah left to go to the bathroom and she was using it mostly as an excuse. She wanted to freshen up, rid her breath of some of the tequila she had in her drink. But mostly, she wanted just a moment to think what her next steps were going to be. Luke and her were hanging out pretty consistently, mostly at night, after gigs. She drove around town, across county lines to watch him and his band perform. He traveled for her shows too. That night, they hadn’t made official plans to meet up, but they knew each other well enough to know where to find the other. 

It was the walk back, as she stared up at the cut of his jaw and the watched the way he smiled that she felt bold enough to invite him into her place. And coffee sounded better than come inside, hang out with me until I decide if I’ll have the guts to ask if this can go up the ladder, if they could take this a bit more seriously. And sure, they flirted. And sure, Dinah knew she couldn’t have that kind of conversation after sex, but she wanted to know the harm in letting herself go. For all the free spirit she is, Dinah didn’t like jumping into bed with someone that she wasn’t attempting to get serious with. Things were going well, better than she had ever considered to go. And sure there were stares and murmurs about them hanging out. And sure, Dinah worried about her safety at that time too, less so because Luke is white and surely, he wouldn’t turn up in a river. 

But when she finally came back from the bathroom, Luke was gone. All that was left behind was a note, on a napkin that said Sorry. And Luke was gone. Dinah hadn’t even heard the door closing behind him on his departure. How could he just leave if he wanted her so bad though? 

“Was it just what we are? Did you leave just because you weren’t like me then?”

“It’s not like council gives you a slap on the wrist for getting involved with a human. If they found out, I knew what consequences were at play. I didn’t want and I don’t want this for you. I left because they’d kill me, change you, or kill the both of us. I left because there was no way I could give you a normal life, and that’s what I wanted for you. I saw the looks people gave you hanging around me. I saw what was happening.”

Dinah’s never been the one that got away to Luke. She’s always been the one that Luke let go. She’s the one that if Luke could go back, and tell himself not to leave like he did, he would. If Luke could go back, he’d burn that note, that sorry ass apology. Tucked away, hidden beneath all the fear, is a tiny piece of hope that Luke did run into her again. That she had lived the life he wanted for her, and that she had grandkids and then maybe, they could meet in secret again. That she hadn’t forgotten about him. Truth be told, Luke always had a table prepared for her, a tiny piece of his heart that always remembered the way she laughed and the way purple lights and red lights on stage dazzled against her skin. 

“That wasn’t your call. That was mine,” Dinah returns. There’s still a gap between them, from when she shoved him. It feels too wide, too far to close. 

“I-I can’t say I was trying to protect without sounding like a fucking idiot, after what happened. But honest to whatever fucking being exists out there, I left because I was scared. I left because I didn’t want you to get hurt. I left because I thought it was the best thing to do. And I know I hurt you regardless. And I know shitty things happened despite my best efforts. But please believe me, Dinah, I didn’t think this would happen. I couldn’t have thought it up in my wildest dreams.”

The lights in the ceiling of the room are bright against the white. Dinah doens’t even blink at the harshness. Luke watches the way she swallows, head shaking side to side. He takes a step, just one and she snaps her attention to him at the movement. His keeps his hands raised. “Di, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t.” It’s one word. It’s hardly audible. No one’s called her that since Luke left. She makes sure no ones calls her that. He called her that all the time when she called, or after she sang him a new song she was working on. His eyes would always be so bright and he’d smile at her like she was the sun, like she was somehow unbelievable and not real, but somehow still in front of her.  “You don’t get to call me that anymore,” she whispers, taking a step back. 

Luke inches a little closer. “You gotta believe me. When I say I’m sorry.”

“I don’t have to believe anything. I don’t have to do anything.” But the truth is, she does want to believe him. She does want him to call her ‘Di’ again like he used too. She wants to know that even though it’s been sixty years and even though she’s still angry a little bit, she hadn’t forgotten how easy it was around him. 

Luke steps forward again and Dinah doesn’t back away. Though, he does note how close she is to the closet. “Do you remember when we stayed up late, jamming to a new song you were working on? I don’t even know how you managed to do it. But we stayed up almost until sunrise--laughing at everything, even if it wasn’t funny. And I pressed your clothes while you got two hours of sleep. I made you pancakes and you got pissed because I didn’t add chocolate chips to them. And you always put chocolate chips into your pancakes. And you told me to take it to the grave that you thought my pancakes were better than your mother’s. I told you that had to be a lie because I was shit cook, but I didn’t want you going to work on an empty stomach.”

“Of course I remember. And when I got back home, you left a note with the recipe and I don’t know what you did, but I wasn’t able to replicate them.” 

“And I had the pancakes that your mom made, you made them for me that next night. And I will say, I have never had better pancakes.”

“Why? Why you bringing that up?”

“Because that night was the first time I gave into you. That was the first night in decades for me that I wasn’t worried. I wasn’t thinking about making sure I didn’t get too close. That was the first night where I thought about what a normal life might look like for me. I watched you sleep and I thought about if that could be normal for us. And it was the first time I was scared shitless in a long time. I was scared when my family died and I couldn’t even be there. I was angry too. And after their funerals, I figured I wouldn’t find that kind of bond again--I would make myself not get too close. And then we stayed up almost until sunrise and I pressed your clothes because you wouldn’t stand for going into work with a wrinkle in that blouse.”

“I’ll have you know it won’t easy getting an office job at that time. I had been a cook or running food for plenty of years prior to that. And I wasn’t going to mess up a good opportunity like that job showing up in a wrinkled blouse.”

Luke laughs, softly, reaching out for her hands. Dinah hadn’t even noticed him creeping in closer to her. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy. What can I do? What can I do now to show you I really mean it? That I’m so sorry for what happened. I’d do whatever it was to make it up to you.”

“I-I don’t think there’s anything you can do. Not right now at least. I need time, Luke. I just--I don’t know what to do right now.”

“We got plenty of that,” Luke counters, brushing his fingers down her jaw. She doesn’t duck out of the touch. She still doesn’t quite feel real under his touch, in front of him. Luke’s sure he’s conjured her up. That he’s going to come to and be sitting in the cafeteria of the hospital and have daydreamed the whole thing up. “There’s plenty of time.”

Dinah can see it, the lean in and she shakes her head. That storm hasn’t gone away in her gut. She still hasn’t figured out if she wants to give into Luke or not. She does want to forgive him. She wants to move on now that she has her answers. “That’s a lot of years, a lot of hurt left.”

Luke nods, dropping his hand from her cheek and takes a small step back. “I understand.” He clears his throat, tucking some of his hair behind his ear. A few curls still fall down in front of his face. “I-I don’t need the bed,” he offers, stepping out of the way. 

It’s an out. And Dinah doesn’t take it. “I don’t need the bed either.”

“I-I haven’t gotten used to that, clearly.” 

Dinah watches the way Luke works his teeth over his bottom lip. His gaze turned down to the floor. She takes his head, threading her fingers through his. “Thanks. For understanding. For answering, honestly. I believe you, about everything. I just need to sort out my own feelings. Because those feelings haven’t gone away, from all our nights together. I just need to figure out what to do with them.”

Luke doesn’t miss the dark brown on her nails, the way it contrast against her skin but isn’t that much darker than the color of her tanned skin. He looks at the chipping red on his nails, the gel that’s grown out. He almost forgot the manicure. It was self administered, but kind of unevenly applied. “We can just talk then, about whatever, about nothing. I’ve missed a lot.”

“It’s not all that glamorous. Much of it is probably like you know, lonely.”

“Surely you’ve had some adventures though. You worked for council--that must’ve been something in and of itself.”

“They’re old and boring. The better story is me at Mardi Gras for the first time.”

“I’d love to hear it,” Luke smiles. He remembers the first time he stumbled across Mardi Gras, how the music almost never ceased and ate more human food than he ever had in a long time. But it all smelt so good and everyone kept handing him drinks and plates ane he couldn’t say no.

“I’m--I just want to shower first.”

“Okay.” It’s soft and Luke’s slow to remove his hand. He’s forgotten what it feels like to hold someone else’s hand, without fear. She grabs her bag and the bathroom door clicks closed softly behind her. Luke stands there for a moment, watching the handle for the slightest movement, listening to see if the shower starts up. Once the pitter of water hitting the basin starts to echo, he surveys the room. 

The wall’s thankfully not damaged in any significant way. The lamp’s in good shape too. Those it’s clear on the rug where Luke skid back just a little. He runs a hand over it, to get rid of the harsh line and finally opens up his own bag. He peels himself out of the leather jacket, draping it over the back of the desk chair. It’s easy to pull out a plain white t-shirt and some shorts for him to change into. 

The air unit rumbles and the water from the shower echoes, long after Luke’s changed out of the jeans. He keeps the volume low on the TV and almost goes to turn the overhead lights off, but opts to keep them on remembering the way Dinah talked about the night and how tense she seemed to be walking into a dark room. The mattress gives easily under Luke’s weight. He pushes the pillows all the way up against the headboard and reclines into it. There’s nothing to do right now but wait.

 Part of Luke does worry that all Dinah wanted out of him were answers. That she’d manage to slip out some kind of way and she’ll always just be a fragment of Luke’s life, a piece that he would always hunger after but never be able to satiate. However, the bathroom door cracks open and a tiny bit of steam escapes out in the air not occupied by Dinah. It’s just a tank top and leggings but Luke’s quick to turn his attention back to TV. It’s definitely not the gown she used to sleep in all those years ago. But even then, that felt scandalous too. And maybe it’s not even the clothes themselves, it’s just Dinah and the attraction that Luke never lost. 

Dinah settles next to Luke on the bed, watching first just the TV screen. “So Mardi Gras was the first time I realized that because I didn’t have hardly any blood in me, getting drunk takes a lot more than it used to.”

Luke tries to hold back his laughter, one hand covering his mouth. “Do not tell me that you were just slamming back drinks and suddenly realized folks were looking at you crazy for not being drunk.”

“No, of course not. I was absolutely told that in order to feel the same affects from alcohol before I required a lot more than before. No, no one told me. Though, my stomach at the time was use a pretty blood heavy diet, so eating and drinking human food made me queasy. So when I vomited shortly after, folks stopped staring so much afterwards.” Luke lets the giggles escape him, shoulders shaking as he holds onto the remote. “I did however, keep that in mind when I went to Carnival.”

Luke quirks an eyebrow. “Are we talking like, a carnival cruise ship?”

Dinah shakes her head, no, laughing. “No, definitely not the cruise ship. Trinidad Carnival. I heard from some other girls about it. They invited me to go with them. I looked good that trip.”

“Was this during the day?”

Dinah waves a hand. “Details, details.” Though they can withstand some sun, they can’t handle a lot of it. And in Trinidad, Luke can only assume there’s a lot of sun. Now, if Dinah knew about the fact that they can handle more sun if they’ve previously had some blood. It’s not a significant increase on the amount of time they can be out in the sun, but it is a decent bump up. “I kept to the night mostly, but I did hunt a little so I could go out during the day.”

Luke nods. It could be from her time with council or it could be just trail and error on her learning. He doesn't push on the details though. “Speaking of hunting, what’s your prefered diet?”

“It’s not polite to ask a woman about her weight you know.” It almost sounds serious until Luke sees the smile lifting her cheeks. 

“Pardon me then.”

Dinah shakes her head, a small tuft of laughter trailing off. “I go mostly for animals. But I have had human blood. It’s a treat? Which is not something I thought I’d ever say in my lifetime.”

“It’s wild times for sure.”

“You?”

“Considering I’ve been living in plain sight for the last hundred plus years, I don’t give into human blood much. Was kind of hard when working in a hospital.”

“You worked in a hospital?”

“I changed sheets and cleaned up waste. It wasn’t glamorous.”

Dinah thinks back to when she ran into Luke. At that time, he was working in the local grocery store. Rumor had it before he disappeared he was lined up to take over as manager. Dinah wonders if that was considered as getting too close. “Is Luke your-”

“It is,” Luke answers. “It is my real name. I change the last name now most often. I’ve used aliases for my full name before too.”

“The tricks we all have to learn in order to survive,” Dinah comments. 

Luke hums in agreement. “I stopped using first name aliaser a while ago. Luke’s a pretty common name. No one really cares.”

“When you say a while ago, I hope you don’t mind after me.”

Luke shrugs, giving neither a here nor there answer. Though, she’ll know the truth. It didn’t feel like lying before. It felt like survival. It felt like the smart thing to do, to bury who he was and become whomever he needed to be at the time. But after Dinah that all changed. A lot changed after her, but he doesn’t offer that up. He swallows that thought back down and flicks his gaze back to the TV in front of them. 

“What’s up next for you?” Dinah knows she shouldn’t ask. She shouldn’t have so much hope in her voice. 

“Take a bus somewhere, anywhere really. I’ve learned to travel light and just go wherever feels right.”

“So where feels right to you?”

“North,” Luke answers, turning his head to look at her. She’s picking at her nails, head hanging low on her neck. “What about you?”

At first it’s just a shrug. “I’m kind of tired of moving around. And I feel silly saying that to you. You’ve been dealing with this shit for a lot longer.”

“The only thing that kept you going before was probably the hope of running into me. So it makes sense. Now you’ve gotta recalibrate. Figure out what you want next.”

“I want to settle down. I know I won’t ever have the normal life or the kids, or grandkids that I wanted. But I’ve bounced from a few covens that were nice enough to let me stay and I guess I’ve always been a sucker for the found family idea.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, settling down. Just requires some money and the right place.”

Dinah nods at Luke’s comment. She was a little screwed on the money part. She didn’t have much before her change and in the time she had left the council, a lot of what she made went towards her car and the ventures to find Luke. Now, she had to figure out where she could settle down and what work she could get to help her save up. The conversation turns into a small lull, both of them watching the show on the TV. 

Luke didn’t want to lose Dinah a second time. But there was no way he could just ask to join her. Not after she told him that she had to sort of her own feelings. It’s easy to see though. It’s easy to feel how things feel like they’re almost picking back up from when they last met. But it’s not an edge to it, a bit of tension. So Luke lets the question linger on the back of his tongue but doesn’t voice it. The conversation takes a turn to a story about how Dinah’s saved quite a few cats from trees and Luke shares a few stories about his time at the hospital, the older woman that hit on him. 

Before they even realize, the sun’s peeking in from the curtains of the room. And even sooner than that, the sun starts to caress the horizons again. Luke doesn’t know where he’s going to wind up, what he’s going to be doing tomorrow let alone what will happen in a couple of weeks. He scribbles down his email though onto the hotel stationary. He makes sure to tuck into the palm of her hand at the entrance of the bus station. “Do you remember the address of the bar we met at?” Luke asks. 

Dinah nods. “Yeah I do. It’s not a bar anymore. It’s part of some shopping center now or it was the last time I checked.”

Luke nods, it was a shopping center when he last went by it too. “Meet me there. When you get those feelings sorted out.”

Dinah almost tells him that he should join her. He should stop running and finally settle down. Though, that could be her projecting more than it is what he actually wants. Dinah glances at the paper at the email address scribbled across it. “I can do that.”

“Reach out. Anytime. If that changes, I’ll let you know well in advance.”

“Who’s leaving who?” Dinah asks. It feels stupid to ask right now. If she really didn’t want Luke to go, she had every chance last night and during the day. 

“Maybe this isn’t leaving.” Luke needs it to be leaving. He wants to invite himself along. He wants to join along because it’s Dinah. Because he’s got a second shot with her. But he’s not sure if settling down is smart, right now. If it’s what he needs to do. “Maybe it’s just ‘see you around’ like an until next time. Now you don’t have to track me down. “

*********

Luke’s sitting at the bar, a towel thrown over his shoulder. The night’s yet to begin really. It’s early and a Friday night. There’s no doubt in his mind thought that in another couple of hours the entire place will be packed with a flood of people. A new patron wanders in and slides up to the bar. Luke greets them with a smile, taking in the dark curls on their head but he knows it’s not Dinah. He keeps hoping. He keeps praying, but so far in the month and a half he’s been here, she’s yet to show up. 

They’ve talked extensively over the last couple of months. Luke went north for a little bit, but ultimately his gut told him to head south and go west. So he did. He landed back just north of where he lived last time out in LA. He had a gut feeling, something that itched the back of his brain and told him that Dinah would just randomly show up in LA. She wouldn’t wait to make a date and time to meet. Luke wanted to beat her to the punch.

“Cider please,” the woman asks, listing off the house brand. Luke checks the ID before reaching for a clean glass and pulls the level for the tap. 

“Opening or closing?” he asks. 

“Just the one,” they return, handing over the card. It’s a few more seconds before the receipt prints off for them to sign and they disappear to the floor, off to a booth. Half an hour later, more people filter in and head towards their booth. 

Luke hangs back, making sure all his bottles are full and ready for the night, that there are no messes on the spill mats though soon he knows there will be the inevitable spill from him. His phone vibrates in his pocket and he steals a moment to look at it. A notification for a new email. On instinct, he’s quick to open it and a brand new email sits in his inbox. The subject sends him into a frenzy. 

Meet me downtown. At the dive bar. 

Just as Luke goes to reply, not bothering with the body of the email, a voice calls out to him from the bar. “What should a girl drink around here?”

When Luke lifts his gaze from his phone, he laughs. Dinah’s dressed in her old school signature red jumpsuit, those it’s definitely been revamped since the last time he’s seen it. Her hair’s braid back into a mohawk. But it’s still Dinah. “What are you looking for? Something sweet? Something to knock you off your ass?”

“Little bit of both.”

Luke starts to make her a drink, remembering from all their adventures what she’s always been partial to a little tequila. “How’d you find me? This isn’t our meeting spot.”

Dinah shakes her head. “You told me where you got a job. Or did you forget?”

The orange drink settles in front of her and Luke tilts his head to the side. “I don’t remember telling you.”

There’s a snort that cuts through the chatter and music of the bar. “Well, you did. Which is why I’m here.”

A group walks up to the bar and Luke excuses himself for just a second to help them. It’s a minute between setting up shots and drinks, but Luke watches Dinah from the corner of her eye. She stays perched at the bar counter, sipping at the tequila sunrise. Luke winks at her, pulling the last bit of sprite into the drink and sets it onto the counter. The group opens a tab and starts on their way back towards the dancefloor. 

Luke’s sure he probably did tell her where he’s working. He’s sure that he wanted to be explicitly clear that he was waiting on her. Maybe it was just his own brain playing tricks on him. Even though he was around forever, didn’t mean he wasn’t exempt from the occasional brain fart. “So, if you’re here,” Luke starts, wiping his hands on the towel, “I hope that means feelings have been sorted.”

“Yes,” Dinah laughs. “Yes they have been. But I don’t want to impede on your job.”

“Told you it was only a matter of time. My shift ends at 2. If you don’t want to hang around, I get it. Just meet me back here and we can go and talk and I’ll make you chocolate chip pancakes.”

“Or I could sit here all night, staring at you, and then we leave for your place for chocolate chip pancakes.”

“Both of those work,” Luke laughs. Briefly, he runs a hand over hers. She’s real and she’s here. From wherever she’s been, Dinah’s sitting across the bar from Luke right now. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on. If you ever found that place to settle down at.”

Dinah squeezes his hand, unsure of what she can say, of what words convey how relieved she’s here, sitting across from him. “We do have a lot to catch up on. But thank God we’ve got plenty of time, right?”

She’s not insinuating what he thinks she is. Luke’s sure he’s standing there with his mouth agape, big enough for any number of insects or birds to make a nice home. Dinah’s laughter cuts above the throaty croak of the bass. “You’re not saying what I think you’re saying,” Luke whispers, leaning across the wooden counter to her.

“Maybe I am,” she grins, hands cupping his chin and the slight scruff decorating it now. 

It’s quick. Fast enough that Luke swears he can hardly register it, but slow enough that it definitely makes me crave more. Her lips seal over his in a kiss. One he wishes he could’ve had earlier. But nevertheless, the feeling of her lips against his is something that he won’t ever be able to get over; it’ll be implanted into his memory for the rest of his existence. 

“One more,” Luke whispers against her lips, feeling her drawing away. “Wasn’t long enough.”

Dinah laughs, but kisses Luke again. A little longer, a little firmer, a little deeper than the first, But she wheels it in, “You’re on the clock, you know?”

“I can very quickly be off it too.”

“Luke!” she reprimands, pushing lightly at his shoulder. “I am going to take this drink, which, here,” she slides cash across the counter, “definitely need to pay for and I’m going far far away from the bar so I’m not a distraction.”

“No, stay. Want you close. And you do not need to pay.” Luke straights up, sliding the bill back towards her. 

“A tip. For you and your amazing customer service,” Dinah urges. And whether Luke likes it or not, he obliges before getting back to work. Dinah knew about two weeks after he dropped Luke off at the New York bus station that she was going to find him again. And when she did find him again, she wouldn’t have questions and she wouldn’t have so much hostility. First, she needed to work through all that. The calls helped; they opted not to email too much but the conversations along the way helped alleviate the residual confusion. Contact was often and thorough and when she needed space, Luke didn’t cross it. 

She looked for a place to settle down at and she concluded on a place up in Canada. It was nice, mostly tucked away, but still close to a city that she could still get necessities. She hadn’t told Luke about it yet. He hadn’t made any clear indications that he was looking to settle down but it shocked her when he mentioned moving to LA and finding local work. She was under the impression that they would meet again, in LA, when both of them were ready. However, maybe this was an indication that Luke was ready already. 

The night goes by fast. Or maybe it just feels fast because this is Dinah’s day. After last round, Dinah lets Luke know that she’ll be waiting outside, in the front lot. The Uber’s and taxis pull away, after picking up their respective groups and leave Dinah in the almost dark. But there’s so much light around from other signs and bars and restaurants, that it’s almost impossible to be in the dark for too long. 

“My car’s over here,” Luke states, well in advance, to warn Dinah. She turns to find his throwing his thumb over his shoulder. “Where did you park?”

Dinah points her keys in his direct and her car beeps to life. “Few spaces from you.”

“Should’ve known. We can take your car. Mine will be fine overnight.”

“You sure?”

Luke nods, reaching out for her hand. “I’m sure. You’ll just have to give a ride to work--that’s all.”

“Something tells me I think I’d be okay with that.”

“Good, I’m glad,” he laughs, brushing his thumb over her skin. “So, you gotta let me in on what’s been happening with you?”

“You know me. Singing to make ends meet,” Dinah teases. Luke bumps her arm and she knows he wants the truth. She knows that he wants to know about the settling down and the feelings. And she can give all that to him. She can give him all the truth. 

Tagging @5-secondsofcolor​ for morning reads

[immortalcoelacanth]

Brand New Animal (BNA) Oneshot: Nighttime Comforts

*points at Shirou and Michiru*

You see this? You see this found family dynamic? I crave fluff for it.

In other words, I’ve found another fandom I’ve fallen into! Also I apologize in advance if Shirou or Michiru’s characters aren’t 100% accurate. I did my best and rewatched some episodes but I’m not sure I fully got their dynamic down. 

Word count: 2494

Summary: For as ready as Michiru was to move to Anima City and find a way to fix herself, she was in no way prepared to deal with how isolated she felt in this new place, especially at night. 

Even with the faint ambiance of Anima City drifting in through the somewhat open window, Michiru was keenly aware of how oppressively silent the night felt. She was currently sprawled out on her back, eyes focused on the ceiling as she desperately tried to fall asleep. For as exhausting as her days had been, this was not the first time that Michiru had experienced this kind of insomnia. 

The worries that filled her mind, both about her condition and what continuing to stay in this city would look like. Who knew what struggles she might face due to how she looked? 

Michiru sighed and curled up, pressing her face against her pillow as she continued to think. She knew she was lucky to have a place to stay, to have met Gem and Melissa, and even Shirou despite how apathetic and detached the wolf beastman tended to be. They had helped her, been nice to her, but…

She tightly gripped the pillow, squeezing her eyes shut as she did her best to breathe through the wave of despair. This was not something new, this feeling of loneliness and isolation. It was what she had felt after changing into… this.

Into a beastman. 

What was new was that she had achieved her goals, in a way. She had managed to reach Anima City and would, hopefully, uncover a way to fix what had been done to her. All things considered she should have been happy with this development, but for some reason she was just as sad as before. 

If not more so because… 

She was alone. She was alone and had to depend on beastman that she barely knew and anything could happen to her and-

Michiru hiccupped softly. 

She missed her parents. She missed being able to go to school, she missed her sports, and-

She missed Nazuna. 

It was stupid, so, so stupid to be this upset, especially after everything she had been through. She had already been sad about her transformation, she had already said her goodbyes to her parents, even if she had only left a letter. She had put all of that behind her and moved forward so she could fix her life!

She hated how weak feeling sad made her feel, hated how lonely she felt in this strange place. When the sun was up and the lights were bright, it was easy to forget the feelings that lurked in the back of her mind and throw herself into the activities of the day, working with Shirou and exploring some of the city, but when she was alone… 

Well, currently it felt like she was always alone in a way. 

No one understood what she had been going through, the struggle of trying to figure out where she fit in, how to fit in. Dealing with the beastman around her was challenging, and she felt so far from her previously human state. 

Michiru was stuck somewhere in between. 

Despite having a plan, she still felt lost and honestly had no clue what to do. To accept being like… this, or to fight even if her recovery seemed hopeless. 

These dark thoughts always snuck up on her in the middle of the night, either invading her sleeping mind and causing her to dream of horrible things or forcing her to stay awake as she contemplated everything.

She knew it was not healthy to stay awake like this or to allow these thoughts to consume her. She had been able to push them aside in the past, and yet… 

It felt like such a struggle when she was like this, like it was an impossible task to try and ignore the worry and anxiety that clouded her mind. 

Even her strongest trait, her determined nature, could be swayed by these moments of despair and hopelessness. 

She slowly exhaled, doing her best to let go of her pillow. After staying like this and just breathing, doing her best to calm herself down, she rolled over and continued looking back up at the ceiling. 

A tear slowly rolled down her face, and she did not bother to wipe it off. 

She lifted a hand into the air, staring at the limb and letting out a bitter chuckle. To be fair, she was a freak among beastman from the look of it. The weird stretching her arms had done was… unnatural.

She was unnatural. 

She did not know what to do. 

Her face twitched, a grimace taking over it as her arm dropped and she sat up. Hands gripping the mattress, she held this position for a couple seconds before slowly pushing herself upright, standing on shaky legs, and stumbling towards the window. When she was close enough, she shoved it so it was fully open, letting in the nighttime air. 

Michiru sighed as she leaned against the windowsill. While the cool wind did help her calm down, gave her something to focus on, it only reminded her of the tears that were still somewhat staining her face. 

She sniffled again and did her best to wipe them off, so caught up in her sorrows that she did not notice that she now had company. It was only when her hands lowered, face drier, that she realized who had joined her. 

“Michiru.”

“Shirou!” She squawked in surprise, practically sounding like a bird as her head snapped to the side, eyes fixating on the man who was standing on the rooftop not too far away. 

Who had apparently been standing on the rooftop for who knows how long. 

The beastman was silent as he continued looking the tanuki over, as though he was searching for something. As the silence dragged on, Michiru was quick to voice her questions. 

“What’re you still doing up? Why’re you on the roof? Did something happen? Is there-” 

While the rapid-fire questions might have been somewhat annoying to Shirou under normal circumstances, he was far more focused on something else at the moment. The thing that had woken him up from his fitful rest. 

The salty smell of tears. 

He waited for Michiru to finish her rambling; eyes narrowed in a contemplative manner. As she finally fell silent, voice growing quieter and, strangely, losing the confidence that it typically radiated, Shirou spoke up. 

“Why were you crying earlier?”

Wrong move.

Michiru was immediately on the defensive as she gawked at him, completely taken aback by his question, before slamming her hands down on the windowsill and glaring at the beastman. 

“Hey! Who asks a question like that?! You don’t just-ask someone something like that! Or assume that kinda stuff! It’s rude, and-”

Shirou just continued to stare impassively, waiting for the tanuki to finish what in his mind was nothing more than a tantrum. He hated to admit it, but he was starting to get used to these outrageous shouting fits. 

“Besides,” Michiru continued, crossing her arms and looking off to the side in annoyance. “What makes you think I was crying, huh?! What gave you that idea?!” 

He squinted. Had she forgotten already…?

Fortunately, his clearly judgemental silence was enough to remind her of one key detail she had forgotten about him in her panic. 

His sense of smell.

It was at that moment that she knew the game was over in a sense. He knew she was sad, could probably still tell based on the tears that had been staining the fur on her face, and it made her feel… ashamed.

She knew why she was sad, but at the same time she felt confused about it. Confused, and uncertain if she even had a right to be sad. It all felt so stupidly childish compared to all the things that had happened, how she had somewhat accepted her state of being a beastman. 

… But at the same time, it was her identity. The thing that made her, her. And her place in the world that had been thrown into turmoil. 

She was stronger than this, better than this, and yet… 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Michiru finally mumbled, not wanting to get into the mess that was her emotions. Her head dropped as she turned her attention towards the ground in order to avoid, what she assumed to be, his judgemental gaze. “It’s not important.”

Shirou could easily see that was a lie, and she knew he was smart enough to realize such a thing. 

Please, don’t let him ask-

“Alright.”

She blinked in surprise and looked up at the beastman. “Wha-really? You’re not gonna…”

“No.” He shook his head. He did not see any point in continuing the topic, knowing it would only upset her further. At this point he had only one goal in mind. 

Get her to rest so he did not have to deal with a sleep deprived Michiru in the morning. 

Now it was time to work towards that goal. 

Without warning, he crouched down and started to make his way through the window. Michiru quickly backed up, confused as to what he was doing, and she watched as he jumped down and landed beside her.

Her confusion continued to grow as she watched Shirou walk over to her bed, briefly looking it over before eventually taking a seat on it. He shuffled back so he could lean against the wall and then gestured for her to join him. 

Um, what?

Uncertain as to what exactly he wanted, or what he was planning, she hesitantly made her way over to him. She repeated the process of sitting down and shuffling back so she was beside him. 

It was kind of weird how quiet there were both being at this point. Well, Michiru’s silence was strange, but she honestly did not know what to say at the moment, and she was still confused as to what Shirou was doing-

She was snapped out of her thoughts when an arm landed on her shoulder, gently tugging her towards the beastman. Her eyes widened as she leaned against Shirou, stunned by this development. She remained tense and uncertain for a moment until the warmth of the body next to her began to spread to her. 

Kind of like a heater. 

Michiru let out a soft sigh as she slowly relaxed. Shirou was… surprisingly comfortable, soft even. Of course, there was a part of her that quietly pointed out how embarrassing this was, her essentially cuddling him, but the voice was quickly silenced. 

Shirou had promised to protect her, help her get situated in Anima City, and this was just another way of doing that. 

And it was something she could potentially use to embarrass him in the future… 

As if sensing her mischievous train of thought, the beastman reached out and gently flicked the side of her head. She yelped and quickly covered the spot before looking up at him. “Hey! What was that for?!”

“Stop thinking so much and get some rest. You’re going to need it.” He passively replied. “We’ve got work to do tomorrow.”

That’s right, work. Investigations into what had happened to her and the anti-beastman that were causing chaos throughout the city. 

Something she could focus on, ground herself with. 

Michiru shook her head in an attempt to disperse any lingering thoughts and leaned against Shirou, one of her hands unconsciously reaching up and holding onto his trench coat. She let out a yawn as she felt her eyes slowly begin to shut. 

“Thank you…” 

Though the words were slurred due to tanuki’s exhaustion, Shirou heard them loud and clear. He was still somewhat facing away from her, looking out of the window, but he did reach over and gently ruffled her hair. 

Michiru let out an annoyed noise and pressed her head against his side, causing an unseen smile to appear on Shirou’s face before quickly vanishing. Slowly, her breathing evened out and the lingering tension in her form vanished. 

It was at this moment that the beastman sighed in relief, quietly happy to see that his efforts had not been in vain. Now all he had to do was figure out how to escape her clutches… 

Hours later, as the sun rose and Gem began to crow, Michiru woke up. She immediately noticed that Shirou had left at some point, leaving her all alone. Alone, except for the trench coat that had been placed over her while she slept. 

Shirou...

She sat up and, after a moment of hesitation, she gently picked up the article of clothing and looked it over. 

It still felt warm.

A smile crossed her face as she flopped back over onto her side, flicking the trench coat out so it was resting overtop of her once more. As she pressed the side of her face back into her pillow, eyes slowly shutting as she settled down once again, the warmth radiated by Shirou’s trench coat soothing her. 

Helping her feel less alone. 

 Omake:

Shirou grumbled and muttered to himself as he struggled to break free of Michiru’s clutches. She just… refused to let go of his trench coat no matter what he did. Granted, he had done much and had only tried to gently pry her hands off the item, not wanting to risk accidentally hurting her.

It was annoying to deal with, but it was also… sad to see her clinging to him like this in her sleep. He knew she had been struggling to figure things out about herself, and he knew for a fact he would never truly be able to comprehend the strife she was going through, but at the same time he did know that level of anxiety and fear.

The fear of being changed, being treated as an outsider…

A sleepy noise from Michiru broke him out of his thoughts, and he looked down just in time to see her hug one of his arms as she pressed her face into his shoulder.

How could such a sleeping position be comfortable, he wondered to himself as he got to work on his next plan of escape. It seemed like sacrifices needed to be made, and in this case that sacrifice would have to be his trench coat. He could part with it for now.

After some calculated squirming and shifting, he was able to loosen her grip on his arm enough to slide it free, allowing her to hug the empty sleeve in her clutches. From there, Shirou slowly scooted away from the sleeping tanuki.

Freedom had been achieved, but he was not done just yet.

He got off the bed and stood up before leaning forward and carefully moved Michiru around, pausing occasionally so he did not accidentally wake her up. When he was finished with this task, she was lying down on her back, the trench coat covering her.

That would do.

Now certain that Michiru would be fine for the rest of the night, Shirou nodded to himself and left. 

                                       xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The found family dynamic is my jam if you couldn’t tell and I intend to write as much as I can before my muse dies while balancing all of my other active WIPs as best I can. 

I hope you all enjoyed reading!

- ImmortalCoelacanth

[fallenqueen2]

A Sleeping Gem [YGO-GX-Spiritshipping]

5 times Jaden watched Jesse sleep and one time he joined him.

I rewatched Season 3 and damn I forgot how much I love these two idiots together.

Usage of English dub names, spoilers for all of season 3

~~1~~

Jaden finally looked up from his deck, he and Jesse had met on the roof of Duel Academy to work on their deck’s together. Jaden noticed that the sun was setting below the horizon, creating nice shades of pinks and oranges over the skyline. Jaden opened his mouth to comment on the pretty sky but his words died in his mouth when he turned his attention to Jesse. The teal haired dualist had his arms crossed behind his head and one leg propped up, but his face was relaxed, his eyes closed and lips slightly parted as he breathed deeply and evenly in his slumber.

“Oh,” Jaden breathed out as he was suddenly hit with the realization that Jesse was extremely cute like this. Jaden felt his cheeks heat up and he quietly slapped them as he squeezed his eyes closed. This was a familiar feeling, but different somehow. With Jesse, everything was easy and familiar so Jaden had just accepted they were going to be best friends now, but these thoughts and the racing of his heart were not something that went hand in hand with one’s best friend.

Jaden looked at his PDA for the time before looking back at Jesse’s slumbering form. He huffed quietly and found himself laying back, staring up at few seagulls that were circling overhead and decided that they could stay on the roof like this for a while longer.

~~2~~

“Hey Jesse, check out this new combo I worked out…?” Jaden twisted his torso around from where he was sitting cross-legged on the floor of his dorm room. Sryus and Hasselberry were out someplace else and Jesse had stayed behind.

“Oh, again huh?” Jade murmured, a smile appearing on his lips as he noticed Jesse was totally passed out. Jesse was curled up on his side, an arm slung protectively around Ruby’s own curled form as the duel spirit slumbered peacefully next to his owner/friend.

“Do you ever get any sleep?” Jaden asked quietly as he picked up the discarded blanket and gently draped it over his best friend’s sleeping form. Jaden swallowed hard as his fingers brushed over Jesse’s soft cheek as he made sure the blanket was covering his shoulders. Jesse just looked so peaceful like this and somehow younger than he did awake. Jaden withdrew his hand to press it to his own chest, he could feel his heart pounding against his rib cage and his cheeks again took on a familiar heat as he realized how soft Jesse’s skin was and how good he looked. Asleep on Jaden’s bunk, looking like he belonged there and something stirred in the back of Jaden’s mind.

“Oh man,” Jaden whispered as he sank down onto the ground, resting his back against the side of his bunk and brought his knees to his chest in order to rest his forehead against the tops of them.

The room fell silent save for the soft inhales and exhales from Jesse and the soft purring that came from Ruby. Jaden let himself bask in the peace for once, it wasn’t often he got a moment like this at Duel Academy and he couldn’t imagine a more peaceful moment than the one right now.

~~3~~

Jaden rubbed at his heavy eyes, fighting back a yawn as he scanned the hallway that he and Jesse were guarding for duel ghouls. It was empty and safe for the moment, but the tension was high as that could change at any moment. He was happy that Jesse had volunteered to stay with him for this shift; otherwise Jaden knew he would be asleep right now without question. Jesse’s presence at his side made all the difference.

Jaden jolted out of his thoughts when a warm, weight pressed against his side and hair brushed against his neck. Jaden’s eyes went wide as he slowly turned his head and looked down to his shoulder. Jesse was slumped against his side, one arm across his stomach and one resting against Jaden’s thigh. His eyes were closed and cheeks flushed as he breathed softly.

“Oh Jess,” Jaden couldn’t help the smile that spread over his lips. They may be stuck in this alternate dimension but seeing Jesse so relaxed and stress-free in his sleep made Jaden feel less stressed out. This seemed to be a common effect that Jesse had on Jaden nowadays. Jaden wiggled his arm free and slung it over Jesse’s shoulders, pulling the other duelist close and gave into temptation by resting his cheek atop of those soft, teal locks of hair.

Jaden let out a soft exhale as Jesse’s very presence soothed his very being, like a piece of him, had been restored and he found himself no longer worried about the duel ghouls that could be around every corner. With Jesse peacefully sleeping at his side, Jaden knew he could handle anything that thrown at him if it meant to keep Jesse’s sleep peaceful and uninterrupted.

~~4~~

Jaden looked up from where he was clutching the Crystal Beasts deck tightly to the main building on the island that lay below the cliff edge he had reappeared on.

“Do you think he is still here? That he hadn’t gone back to Dual Academy North yet?” Jaden asked, suddenly very concerned that he had taken too long, re-connecting with Yubel and had missed Jesse completely.

“No, he is still here. His soul is waiting to be reunited with his Beasts.” Yubel assured Jaden, appearing in her astral form behind the brown haired teen.

“Let’s not keep him waiting any longer then,” Jaden decided and the deck in his palm glowed as the Beasts within agreed with him.

Sneaking into the hospital wing without being seen was now a piece of cake thanks to his reawaken powers of Darkness. He wanted to reunite with his friends, but seeing Jesse and reuniting the Beasts with their owner/friend was his first priority.

It was the middle of the night when Jaden slipped into the hospital room. The lights were dim and in the first bed, tucked tightly into stark white bed sheets was a sleeping Jesse. His right arm was laying on top of the sheets as it had an IV inserted into the elbow; Jesse was painfully pale even against the white sheets. Jaden gently set the deck down onto the side table and smiled when Ruby instantly appeared and curled up against Jesse’s side, crooning happily that she was reunited with Jesse.  

“He will recover Jaden, it will not be easy but he will,” Yubel told Jaden from within his mind, guilt filling her voice at what she had done to Jaden’s chosen.

“He’ll be fine, he is stronger than anyone gives him credit for.” Jaden murmured, as he no longer resisted the urge to trace Jesse’s cheek and stroked Jesse’s soft hair. The familiar calming sensation spread through his whole being and he knew Yubel felt it as well as they were now one. Jaden stayed like that for a moment, unable to tear himself away from the slumbering teal teen, basking in the fact they both were alive and back home safely.

“Sleep well Jesse,” Jaden pressed a soft kiss to Jesse’s cheek before stepping back into the shadows of the room, disappearing from the room completely as the night nurse walked in to check in on Jesse. She found herself smiling when she spotted the smile that was lingering on Jesse’s face and a deck sitting on the side table.

~~5~~

“You should visit him during the day when he is awake if you want to see him so badly,” Yubel grumbled as she floated behind Jaden as the brunet stepped out of the shadows of Jesse’s room. It had been a couple years since everything that happened at Duel Academy and Jesse was an up and coming star on the pro circuit while Jaden and Yubel traveled the world, helping where they could and learning whatever they could get their hands on.

“It’s better this way,” Jaden whispered back before turning his attention to the teal haired man who was sprawled across his bed. His feet tangled the bed sheets and sweat coated his skin, his face that was usually so peaceful and calm was screwed up and Jesse was gasping like he was in pain as his eyes moved rapidly beneath his eyelids.

“A nightmare,” Yubel frowned as Jaden hurried to Jesse’s side and Ruby looked up at him giving a sad trill as her tail drooped.

“It’s okay Ruby, I’ll see if I can help.” Jaden petted Ruby’s head comfortingly before he took a steadying breath and cupped Jesse’s face between his palms. He let his eyes turn a smoldering gold and darkness seeped from his palms.

Jesse inhaled sharply in his sleep as slowly a dark outline covered his entire body as Jaden concentrated and slowly Jesse’s face became relaxed as the nightmare was chased away by the gentle darkness.

Jesse hummed and absently leaned into Jaden’s touch as his body slumped against the mattress, fully relaxed and no longer caught in the throes of a nightmare. Jaden let the darkness recede just enough but didn’t remove his palms from Jesse’s face. He just stared down at Jesse’s sleeping face before he jerked himself out of the trance-like state and stepped away from the bed.

“Jaden,” Yubel said softly and Jaden just shook his head and with one last look at Jesse’s sleeping form, he stepped back into the darkness and let it swallow him whole even though he wanted nothing but to lean down and see if Jesse’s lips were as soft as they looked.

~~+1~~

Jaden found himself stepping back into Jesse’s room not two weeks later. He had tried to keep his mind off of Jesse for that long, but he failed and he had to see the other even if it was just when the emerald eyed man was sleeping. Jaden felt all his stress fade from his body when his eyes landed on Jesse’s curled up form on his bed, face calm and peaceful in his nightmare free slumber.

Jaden’s feet carried him over to the side of Jesse’s bed and his hand reached down of its own accord to cup the teal-haired man’s cheek lovingly. Jaden softly rubbed his thumb over the arc of his cheek as he drank in the sight of Jesse, like a man who had been dying of thirst.

“Jaden,” Jesse breathed out, eyes still closed and Jaden froze. He must be dreaming, that had to be the only conclusion.

“Jaden… Stay this time,” Jesse breathed out again, this time his eyes were open and those gem-like eyes were staring up at him.

“Uh,” Jaden found himself lost for words and unable to move as Jesse reached up and placed his hand over Jaden’s hand on his cheek.

“Stay, I want to wake up and see you next to me,” Jesse said softly as he kept staring at Jaden.

“If you want me to…” Jaden found himself saying.

“I want you Jaden, always have.” Jesse murmured as he lifted Jaden’s hand off his cheek and pressed a light kiss to his palm.

“Me too,” Jaden choked out and quickly shed his shoes and jacket when Jesse released his hand and pulled back the sheets in an invitation.

“Much better,” Jesse sighed happily as Jaden slipped into bed and Jesse all but wrapped his arms around him like an octopus, head resting on Jaden’s chest.

“You said it,” Jaden felt like jelly now, Jesse’s comforting weight and heat against his body felt like heaven and he only wished he had known cuddling with Jesse would have felt this good sooner.

“Promise you will be here when I wake up this time?” Jesse asked softly as he propped himself up to look at Jaden sternly.

“I promise,” Jaden found himself agreeing and let out a small gasp when Jesse leaned up and sealed their lips together in the kiss that Jaden had been wanting for years.

“Good,” Jesse smiled brightly at Jaden before Jaden cupped his face between his hands again and kissed him soundly, not wanting to give up this for anything and if Yubel hummed pleased in the back of his mind then no one had to know.

[snkpolls]

SnK S3E06 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 490 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that this is the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

NOTE: Another week, a few more mess ups and overlooked things. Upon realizing that we are rushing ourselves a bit too much and the poll dropping in quality is the unfortunate side effect, we will be moving the poll to Tuesdays from this point forward. This will allow us more time to see what others are discussing, think up questions, make sure we’ve touched on all of the important points, and to proofread more thoroughly before publishing. Thank you for being patient with us throughout this whole process! We apologize for our mess ups over the last couple of weeks.

RATE THE EPISODE 478 Responses

Overall the episode got high rankings and positive reviews!

I loved it, just wish they had given the Grisha vs Frieda segment more time and fully animated it rather than show it in flashes and stills. Though it wouldn't surprise me if they do later when we get his full story.

It was awesome! I'm starting to enjoy this season more with each episode. I'm hyped for the action next episode.

the best episode so far

Once the uprising arc is done, this episode will definitely be included in my favorite episodes list.

I was skeptical at first of the changes they were making to Frieda's foreshadowing, but the sequencing of events in the episode made up for it! Everything flowed so smoothly, from Eren's memories to Historia's, introducing the concept of mindwipe immunity followed immediately by Kenny's old talk with his grandpa. Each point led right into the next.

This week's episode felt almost slow with the way it ended. I'm not complaining, although I feel the sting of all those missed moments that got cut off prior to this.

This episode was freaking awesome. I keep replaying the scene where Eren sees Grisha's memories. The whole sequence and the OST is amazing!!

When it comes to rating these last few eps, I keep second-guessing myself on how to rate them. On the one hand, they've been fairly faithful to the manga and the animation, as always, has been top notch. So in that aspect they are good and deserve a high rating. It's just that the Uprising arc is so incredibly dull to me, that I am also not exactly excited about these eps and probably will skip all of them on future rewatches. But the anime is not to blame for that.  ¯\_㋡_/¯

ep of the season so far

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SCENES DID YOU ENJOY THE MOST? 485 Responses

Eren unlocking Grisha’s memories was the big moment of the episode, winning the majority vote. Followed closely is Historia unlocking her memories of Frieda, Rod’s retelling of Grisha’s attack and Kenny’s flashback to his talk with his grandpa.

I also enjoyed the Ackerman talk, it gives more significance to what’s to come in the future

OPENING SCENE WAS BOMB

I absolutely love Frieda! She was the greatest sister ever. Too bad she had to die so young. I liked her voice as well :) The scene with her and Historia symbolized peace, love and happiness, while the scenes in the crystal cave symbolized pain and sorrow. I liked that.

KENNYKENNYKENNYKENNYKENNY

Is it weird that I liked the Zacklay part more than the flashback? C:

My fav scene was when Mikasa and Levi were talking about Mikasa's past and their awaking of power

Really liked the focus on each character when Levi asked them if they were ready to get their hands dirty. They looked resolved.

The Ackertalk!!!!!!!!

ON A SCALE OF “I’D RATHER IT WAS DIFFERENT” TO “SAWANO IS A GENIUS!” HOW MUCH HAVE YOU BEEN ENJOYING THE SOUNDTRACK TO THE SEASON SO FAR? 482 Responses

As expected of Sawano! The majority of respondents are enjoying the music this season. A few think the picks could be better, however.

The OST in this season has been awesome.

To the music part: I haven't found a track that really stands out, I want something as good as youseebigttgirl

WHAT IS YOUR REACTION TO EREN’S MEMORY SEQUENCE? 477 Responses

The majority of respondents were overall pleased with the way that Eren’s flashes of the altercation in the cave went down. A few would rather it have been different.

Frieda was beautiful and that's all I care about

I love the way wit did Eren's eyes during the flashback sequence. Honestly it made me feel more like dead

I loved it, some amazing voice acting with Erens scream at the end

While the fast flashes made total sense to me as a narrative choice I would have personally liked it better if it was Slower

Great paths depiction, mindblowing OST, not biggest fan of how they presented goblin Eren in just two still images

Pretty awesome. I don't like how Frieda's titan looks however, I thought that the manga design gave off a far more divine and powerful aura than the anime one, which honestly just looks like a regular titan with different eyes.

The P A T H S visuals were beautiful but I feel like the flashbacks themselves could have been done better. The RIP Grisha scene was practically still images when it could have been one of the most visceral and intense moments in the series. Idk I just found the flashbacks themselves very underwhelming

openly sobbing

Eren’s shocked expression while seeing those memories/listening to rod talk makes me feel bad for him all over again, but WIT also gave a lot of shots of his abs and back muscles *-* like, idk if I wanna hug him or fuck him

could've been much better. kid Eren screaming after realizing he ate his dad was heartbreaking though

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE MECHANICS OF ZACKLEY’S “ART”? 479 Responses

It goes without saying that most respondents were put off by Zackley’s torture device, although there’s a sizable amount who did find it amusing. Generally speaking, most fans aren’t happy about the scene being included overall.

AoT will end, but Art will last forever

I HATE THE SHIT MACHINE!!!!!!

I cant believe we got the shit machine! Art is still alive!

I feel kinda tired of the whole shitmachine stuff. What is so special about some old, fat, ugly, nude, sweating dude who was forced to drink own piss? Why so many fans is obsessed with it? The episode had so many great moments - but almost everything I'm actually hearing about it this dumb shitbitchmachine.

I still fail to see what that machine added to this part of the story....

HOW DADDY IS ERWIN’S NEW HAIRDO? 480 Responses

Although there were mixed responses, overall the fandom is digging the new hairdo. Many even think Commander Handsome is looking even more dashing than before! ;)

Can we get more scenes with Erwin being Commander Handsome?

Erwin looks much younger now on my opinion XD

OMG ERWIIIIIIIIIN SO HOT

GRISHA’S EYES WERE GLOWING GREEN BEFORE HE ATE FRIEDA, AND THEY STARTED GLOWING PURPLE AFTERWARDS. DO YOU THINK THIS HAS ANY MEANING? 481 Responses

The overwhelming majority believe that the glowing eyes do have significant meaning. We covered this concept in more detail a few questions down!

Erens attack Titans eyes glow green too, I think it's just for effects

Yes, Frieda was not tasty and Grisha's stomach hort a lot after eating her

I didn't even noticed XD But I'm not sure if it has any meaning

Super saiyan

Frieda's eyes were purple during her Titan transformation. Grisha's eyes changing to the same colour after he ate Frieda, meant that he gained the Founding Titan power, gained Frieda's memories and the memories of the previous Founding Titan holders.

It could hardly be a slip of the hand in the animation department. They did it for a reason

The purple is the same as Frieda's Titan so it's likely because he came in contact with a Titan with Royal Blood and that changed his Titan's eye color

it's his magical girl transformation

WHICH TITAN WORE THEIR CHEST HAIR BETTER? 478 Responses

This was a close one! But ultimately Grisha inched just a few percentage points above Zeke. The commentary also reflects this and, frankly, we are a bit concerned. Are you guys okay?

Gaston ain't got nothing on Grisha Titan's chest hair.

Grisha's titan can spank me

Titan Grisha can mount me anytime.

WHEN FRIEDA READS HISTORIA THE FAIRY TALE, THE “GOOD GIRL” CHARACTER IS NAMED KRISTA. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS ADDITION?  478 Responses

It was a close split between excitement over seeing (or rather, being reminded) how Historia got the name “Krista” for her persona  and those who are questioning the validity of the name in the book. We also received plenty of snarky reminders that we overlooked the detail of this being mentioned in chapter 51. Perhaps it’s time for us to take a week off!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I love how they’re differentiating the Marleyan legend from the Eldian one

I thought I was supposed to be Ymir, but I think it’s a really interesting addition to how Historia got the name Krista.

Since we know Rod gave her the name Krista, it felt kinda irrelevant. It also somehow implies that Krista's personality is the result of what remained in Historia's head from Frieda's preaching which I don't think was necessary to justify at all. Historia could've chosen to be the kind of girl Krista is by herself.

I love how, as time passed and memories changes, Ymir Fritz became Krista Lenz. And so, both Ymir and Historia got named by someone else after the same person. I love it.

It's not really an addition since her name appeared in the manga (at the beginning of chapter 51 when Historia goes crazy)

It did make things pretty confusing. I think that the government could've entirely changed the story of Ymir and the titan's and renamed Ymir in the books, and that's why she is now called Christa.

On one hand I think it's appropriate because the Reiss family didn't want Historia to know the Eldian history, yet I think the specific name of Krista wasn't a great decision because as I remember it, Rod was the one who made Historia take on the name Krista, so to suggest that Historia chose it because of that story is inconsistent.

‪Historia did say Krista was “a girl from a book she read as a child” in chapter 51, but learning in chapter 86 that the girl is Ymir Fritz led some people to believe that, back then, Historia was referring only to the girl's personality and not her name. The anime just clarified that in Frieda's book she is indeed named Krista, perhaps suggesting the story has different versions in Marley/the world and Paradis.‬

IT’S CONFIRMED THAT GRISHA’S AND FRIEDA’S TITANS HAD GLOWING EYES, SIMILAR TO THE PURE TITANS THAT THE COORDINATE CONTROLLED, DO YOU THINK THIS RELATES TO EREN’S EYES GLOWING IN LIBERIO? 466 Responses

As reflected above, most respondents believe that the glowing eyes do bear significance. 41% of voters believe that it’s indicative of the power of the titan taking over its host, while 32% believe the significance is something else. 16% of voters think it’s simply just a cool aesthetic effect. 

I don't understand anything any more

Woah I've not thought about that enough to give an answer!!

I have no fucking clue, this stuff is confusing.

I honestly just think those titans happen to have glowing eyes. Nothing more.

WHICH TRANSITION DID YOU LIKE BETTER? 479 Responses

70% loved the transition of Kenny looking into the knife and revealing his younger self. 

I truly love Kenny <3

Kenny is beautiful and the transition from younger to older Kenny in the reflection of his knife was my absolute favorite part of the entire episode.

Kenny was a highlight in this episode once again, I especially loved the flashback scene with him and grandpa Ackerman talking about family history after Levi and Mikasa's Ackertalk. The transition back to Levi was really unsubtle, though.

WHICH PV SCENE ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO THE MOST? 482 Responses

Generally, the majority are most looking forward to the showdown between Squad Levi/Hange vs. the Interior MP Squad. About 31% of voters altogether are looking forward more to more Jaeger/Reiss focus, however! 

Can I vote again for Hange is a BAMF?

i honestly don't care at all about the interior MP v.s squad levi fight. I just wanna get back to the reiss/jaeger action

Give me Levi yelling Hange's name or give me DEATH

can't wait for the next episode and the showdown!!!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Finally we arrived to my favorite part of this arc. Even though it doesn't have that much action as the other seasons, this is the part I love the most. Knowing how Eren got the Attack AND the Founding titans, Historia becoming the rightful queen of the walls, Levi's backstory, Kenny's dream and his friendship with Rod Reiss' brother, learning that there's a world outside of the walls by Keith Shadis; all of this until the fight against the collosal and armored titans back in Shignashina district and everybody discovering the sea.

Now I finally understand why Kenny killed so many MP officers. I used to believe he had done that for fun. Now I know he did that to protect his family. I really enjoyed the moments between him and his grandpa - it made me to feel how important the bloodline was for him.

I'm a bit disappointed that they made Frieda's titan hair black, I was hoping for it to be a lighter colour, and I preferred the lighter hair a bit more. But overall her titan form was pretty cool!

They left out the part where Kenny tells Rod he is looking for a bathroom because he has to go #2! ಠ_ಠ How could they skip that after they included the whole poop machine scene?! I also wasn’t sure how I felt about the girl being named Krista in the book being read to Historia. I thought that was supposed to be Ymir. Otherwise, the episode was superb.

Erwin is my husband and I love it when he goes into Commander Mode™. Also so not ready for more information about Levi’s childhood, and yet also I need to see Little Levi™ at the same time

FRIEDA WAS GREAT

Now that two big plot points are over (the overthrowing of the government and Grisha’s deed) and another one is under way, I can say this season is so underwhelming compared to the manga. There is no suspense, no feeling of satisfaction, no tension, because they cut too many parts in the beginning that hinted at future events (eren’s experiments for examples) and simplified characters’ moral struggles that i think are understandable only to us manga readers because “we know”. I think, for a story (the one of uprising) that relied on suspense so much, this lighting-fast, confusing pace just made every victory totally underwhelming. I’m left with a feeling of “oh...okay” and i am hating it because the Uprising Arc is my favorite manga Arc.

With this episode I'm back to being sad about how coldly Erwin is portrayed again, but I guess that is just the way it's going to be. I don't think anyone can be as successful of a leader as Erwin has been with such a cold and uncaring facade, so I'm just going to agree to disagree with Isayama and WIT how a character like Erwin should be portrayed. The only positive about the anime is how Erwin's developing depression is really hammered home in this and the previous episode. From the manga it was quite unclear to me how all that had happened, but now I can see the progression very clearly starting from Erwin's little talk with Zackley the Creepy Artist and continuing with Pixis' merciless opinion of Erwin and his gamble.

Yeah for all the flashbaCks! And omg Frieda!! I love her sooo much! I was looking forward to see her in this episode and I'm not disappointed at all! I just wanted to hug her and little Historia! ;-;

THOUGHTS ON EPISODE 5:

104th celebrating their freedom was dope

I really loved this episode because Erwin had his chance to shine for once. I especially loved the foreshadowing of what a huge mistake they might have just made with the coup d'état. And I loved seeing my second favourite commander, Nile, as well! He's been growing on me for a longer while now, but the anime is really reminding me how Nile has always been a sensible but kind person.

Episode was ok. The cinematography of the episode was rather lacking at points and without some of the conversations with Nile and Pixis, the confrontation is somewhat oversimplified.

The conversation between Erwin and Zackley broke my heart. Implying the two would have anything in common is outrageous, and Erwin's reaction to the comparison is the proof of it. Erwin was so human and vulnerable in that moment that I thought finally they did justice to his character.

EREN'S ABS WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH TO REPLACE ERWIN'S AND LEVI'S ABS!!! THAT'S THE WORST BETRAYAL EVER, WIT!!!!!

I like that there is more and more dialogue and information during the recent episodes!

i thought it was good. at the time i was sad the "do you remember your father's sin" reveal wasn't the cliffhanger but since it was the opening for this episode and it was amazing in my opinion i have no problems.

Eren is hot

Erwin=Daddy

That cliffhanger with Historia was great! I wonder if they'll be able to replicate the one in the manga where it looks like she's about to inject herself. It'll be disappointing if they don't.

The Hange monologue at the end, however, with Levi's input was really weird and it didn't make much sense to me how they could infer so many ""clues"" about the truth and the Reiss family from what Hange was telling. The same is true about Armin's sudden but oh so convenient musings about how Eren inherited his titan powers. It was clear foreshadowing, but really badly executed.

i was waiting for this question on ep 5 poll, thnks! Well my thought were "there's no way they'll animate the shit machine" and "I WANT MOAR LEVI"

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 468 Responses

We overlooked a platform this week, our apologies! 

Oi where's the 4chan option

Thank you again to everyone who participated. We’ll see you back on Tuesday! 

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 1X18 - The Stable Boy

I’m very interested to see my reaction to this episode this time! On my first watch, I didn’t like it (At least the past portion), but with time and more insight into Regina’s character, that just might change!

It’s not because of you, Reggie! i love you!

But what was my deal then, and how has it changed?

Find out alongside me under the cut!

Press Release Emma continues her exhaustive search for evidence that will prove Mary Margaret’s innocence in the murder of David’s wife, Kathryn. Meanwhile, in the fairytale land that was and before evil blackened her soul, Regina must choose between betraying her mother, Cora, and marrying for true love, or betrothing royalty and living a regal - but loveless - life; and the event that caused the Evil Queen to loathe Snow White is revealed. General Thoughts Past It’s weird. I know Cora is an amazing villain, and it may be the fault of time, but I sometimes forget just how menacing and evil she was. So seeing the evil she’s capable of show itself again with such intensity was like when you touch someone else after getting a good dose of static shock going through you. Just as with Regina’s villainy up to this point, Cora’s is overt and strong. Even when she’s praising Regina, it’s a backhanded compliment (“You’ve finally done something right”). But oddly enough, it’s when the abuse is less over the top that it’s at its worst, and by that, I mean accepting Leopold’s proposal on Regina’s behalf and getting Snow to divulge Regina’s secret. How Cora’s lunges at insecurities and just makes the bold yet quiet moves to get everyone to do what she wants is terrifying. I don’t have a lot to weigh in on the plot, but I do think that watching it on the second go did a lot more for me to highlight Cora’s abuse and make me realize the quality of the flashback. See, for me, I always felt that Daniel was the main thing for Regina’s revenge about Snow, and I felt on the first go that that was a pretty lackluster approach for such a cool villain because I found Daniel boring (I still do, and I swear that I tried to like him). However, it’s occurred to me recently that this isn’t so much as the main point, but the final straw after a long line of Cora’s abuse. Cora’s abuse is what drives Regina’s character and with this in mind, I went into my rewatch of this episode and found it much more compelling. I mean, all you have to do is look about to see the impact Cora had on me.

Also, as I said before, I don’t like Daniel. I find his character boring and bereft of chemistry with all who he interacted with despite his decent dialogue. Given that a lot of (Not fully, but still a fair amount) Regina’s backstory is dependent on their interactions, it sucks, but I just wasn’t feeling like there was much of a character to connect to.

Finally, I wanted to take this moment to drop a theory I’ve held for a while about this episode. I feel that Regina has a secondary purpose for going after Snow. Now, of course, she blames Snow for Daniel’s death, but that’s lead her to be mislabeled as overly petty. However, I think that that blame has something behind it. Regina doesn’t have magic at this point, and her beloved was taken from her. She has a lot of anger, and no place to responsibly place it. Of course, it belongs with Cora, but Cora just killed her boyfriend and has been magically binding her for quite some time. What chance does Regina have up against someone like that? But Snow? Snow’s just a little kid. Snow’s vulnerable and trusting. Snow was the one to tell the secret. And suddenly, for as wretched as it is, you see how the cogs turn. Present I loved August’s advice to Emma here. Sometimes, I find that skill helpful when I’m writing fanfiction, and the way it fits into the murder mystery was interesting. Their rapport, alongside August’s mystery is a large driving force behind the plot as Emma looks for the way to connect the crime to Regina. They also did a really good job establishing Sidney and then exposing him with that flower pot. For a while, one can forget that it’s there, but once you see it, you know what’s going to happen. Still, the journey to using the plot device was an engaging one. As for the rest of the plot, I cover more of it in “Arcs,” but I found that it was well placed and dramatic. Mary Margaret’s conversation with the DA was especially helpful in reinforcing after last week’s “breather” episode just how bad things are and how important it is that Emma solves this case and fast. Insights -I love watching Rumple and Regina negotiate. Theirs is such an engaging push-and-pull relationship and even in the case of foregone conclusions like the one the audience goes in knowing here, the exact what and how are never what you expect it to be. Because of their power, influence, and shadier dispositions, there’s always something up their sleeves and seeing them poke and prod in search of those secrets is just the best. Also, I love that clash of tones. Regina’s harsh words clash brilliantly with Rumple’s more flowery language. -Hair and makeup really did a wonderful job on the younger Henry Sr.! -”She’s getting a little old for fun.” “Stop coddling her.” I like the implication that Cora’s abuse of Regina started out smaller than it is today and that Henry Sr. was allowed to have a bigger influence on Regina’s development during her childhood. -”I’m not criticising you. I’m helping you.” Holy shit. That is such an abuser line. If it wasn’t coming out of Cora, I’d almost call it heavy handed, but since it s Cora, it’s such a good moment of character establishment. -There’s this great frame where Henry Sr. is walking towards Cora with a face that screams “I’mma kill you if you harm a hair on our daughter!” Even though Henry Sr. was definitely afraid of and overpowered by Cora, it’s clear that he was always on Regina’s side. -The segues on this show between the past and present crack me the fuck up! -In regards to young Snow...HOW DOES THIS SHOW CAST PEOPLE SO PERFECTLY?! -Thank you, Gold for acknowledging the skeleton key! -Gold just has the best expressions during the Q&A with the DA. Every look he gives MM just says “you’re lucky your daughter is breaking this curse.” -Mary Margaret, that’s not true. After Kathryn hurt you, it was your denial of David that kept you two apart. Not saying you were wrong for that you definitely weren’t - but facts are facts. -Regina looks so cute in that blue dress! I’m pretty sure anyone on OUaT can pull off a blue dress! -I love how Henry Sr. reflects both Regina and the audience’s reaction to this horrifying proposal. -So is Daniel just the Mills’ family’s stable boy or both theirs and Snow’s family’s stable boy? -Regina unknowingly gave Snow and Charming the perfect lyrics to their big show-stopping musical number about how they’d overthrow her! XD -I love Regina’s suit in the warrant scene. Red and black - despite her rocking blue as well - are totally her colors! -That whole sequence of Cora trapping Regina and Daniel in the stable reminded me of The Haunted Mansion! -Snow looks so cute in her flower girl dress! -So, the camera doesn’t show Regina’s face as she’s telling Snow how Daniel ran away, but you can just hear the pain behind the monotone in her voice solely because of how different it is from the rest of her lines. Regina’s lines usually host such passion and ferocity, but here, she’s bereft of it. Arcs Kathryn Nolan Case - So, we sort of come to an ending here. Now all that’s left to find out is the “who-dunnit,” so to speak. Personally, I found the case itself boring as well as the conversations about the proceedings. That said, in a way, I’m glad we had it. I’ve seen fics without it happening and they leave David and Mary Margaret with so little to do. Besides, we got some really good character moments because of it, mostly those that go through Emma and I feel comfortable saying that this doesn’t have to do with the fact that Emma is my favorite character because for everyone else (Barring Rumple and Regina who also had amazing interactions), the events of this arc for everyone else become completely irrelevant going forward. Emma and her interactions (Barring those of the other awake people’s) are the only moments that retain prevalence for their characters in the future That’s not a problem: The character moments still stand out - I still adore everything with Ruby and the scene with MM and David in the jail cell was powerful - but it needs to be accounted for. The Mystery of August Booth - We finally get those first glimpses of Pinocchio. It reminded me a lot of Michael’s symptoms in Season 3 of Jane the Virgin. They’re so small that you forget about them with the plot, but as they happen, they make you wonder just what it is. Why throw in a splint? ...I guess we should say a splinter! XD Favorite Dynamic Snow and Cora. I know these two only had one scene together, but damn, it was a good one! When Cora talks to Snow, she’s so warm and very much like a grandmother in the way she speaks, and you can see through Snow’s expressions just how much that paired with what she’s saying is preying on her still present grief over her mother. It’s like that study about the bullfrogs when the water gradually increases. Snow’s about to hurt her friend, and she doesn’t even recognize that she’s being played because of Cora’s delicate manner of approaching things. Writer Adam and Eddy did a really great job here! They have a way of writing very iconic lines, and  “Love is the most powerful magic of all” has proved itself lasting - both in verbal and song form! XD In addition, A&E know how to make a villain sympathetic while not forgetting that they’re evil and following through on that. I’ve seen a lot of bad writing of villains (And some of it comes from OUaT too) where they just throw a sob story on a villain and then just flip a switch from villain to hero, but Regina still retains her villainy  even as we’re learning about her tragedies, and that makes her feel more alive! Rating 9/10. I love all of the character development we get here. The introduction of Cora gives us that taste of all that’s to come and she’s fucking petrifying, even with the knowledge that she dies! And seeing Regina’s awful childhood really sticks where this resentment of Snow and Mary Margaret is coming from and it makes it glorious! Additionally, the present had a great story too and delivered a cool sort-of ending to the Kathryn Nolan case while giving Emma and August an interesting conflict to work with. I took off a point for Daniel just because of his impact on the story that I actually got compared to what I felt that I needed.  ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Thanks to @watchingfairytales for putting this project together and to everyone who read! I’ll see you next time when we...RETURN! ...These puns don’t get all that subtle. Season Tally (157/220) Writer Tally for Season 1: A&E (50/70) Liz Tigelaar (17/20)* David Goodman (33/50) Jane Espenson (36/60) Andrew Chambliss and Ian Goldberg (29/40) Daniel Thomsen (8/10)* Vladimir Kvetko (9/10* (* = Their work for the season is complete)

Operation Rewatch Archives

[sincerelydayyy]

The Keeper - (Sherlolly fic)

my dear @justatrashpanda asked about recreating the drunk scene (when Mary just saw her ex-fiancee and gets drunk off her ass and Steve takes her home and proceeds to take care of her) from The Wedding Planner with Sherlolly. So me the au trash weeb literally rewatched the movie again this morning because it’s a fave and here we are.

[edit: it’s been at least a couple months, my mojo sways so much it makes me sad but alas here we are again this time completed :D]

Hope you like it! <3

Also on FF.NET & AO3 because why not.

Sherlock was conflicted. His dear friend and something more if he was honest with himself was currently sobbing over a man who had broken her heart. Unfortunately he hadn’t gotten the chance to completely rip the man to shreds because Molly had high tailed it out of there - a case that she was helping him with - before he could get a complete word in.

What he had found out was that this complete moron had once popped the question to Molly whilst they were in university together only for her to find him and his now wife getting it on right before they were going to announce it to her mother. Sherlock was beyond seething but he knew he had to take care of Molly first then track the man down and give him a piece of his mind. Molly Hooper shouldn't ever cry over someone who would tear her heart out like that.

He was aware that he had no room to talk considering he had done that to her in the past. But, he never hurt her like that. He would never cheat on her before they wed. If they ever got down that road. That entailed them dating and he hadn’t quite gotten there yet. This near altercation today was slowing him down.

Another thing that was slowing him down was the fact that he had had her upgrade her security measures after Eurus had gotten in one too many times before her reveal. He loved his sister but this was one of two places he needed to be off limits. It was his second home and as such it needed to be protected like a fortress.

He had gotten passed the normal bolt-lock, now it was the matter of the password that his pathologist had changed. He turned to her, she was slumped on the steps with another bottle wine in hand. “What’s the password, Molly?” He asked as he gotten in wrong for the second time. One more and the Yard would be contacted.

“I didn’t expect to see him.” She tried to wipe her face. It didn’t do much for her state as she only kept crying. “He still looks good, and she’s...she’s still the same.”

Molly was a wreck. Sherlock moved to sit next to her. He took the bottle from her hand as she tilted her head until she was laying on his shoulder. “She’s nothing.” He swallowed, taking the cork out of her opposite hand. He really needed to grab her bag to see if there was anything of use but he couldn’t exactly do that when she was pushed against him like this.

“She’s practically a goddess.”

Sherlock scoffed. “Not everyone wants one of those you know.”

Before Molly could argue Sherlock continued. “I happen to think you’re everything.”

This sobered her slightly as she wobbled to her feet and rushed over to the keypad. She didn’t want him to talk to her about this out here. She was already incredibly embarrassed. She thought she was done with crying in front of Sherlock Holmes. At least this time it had nothing to do with him and more to do with her, and her messy past.

Sherlock drew in a deep breath when he realized what the pass-code was. She had a hard time hiding it in her state. Once the door gave way he had to reach out for her before she hit the ground. He was right to cut her off when she did. There was no telling what state she would be in then.

Taking her in his arms he stepped over the threshold and shut the door with his foot. He moved past the kitchen into the bedroom and carefully placed her down on the made bed. He helped her take off the remaining shoe she had left before turning to see her with her eyes closed.

He crouched, observing to see if she had actually fallen asleep or if she was just ignoring him. He had gotten used to the latter. Of course he had deserved it but he had thought they had worked through most of their issues.

“I have a problem with wanting people who don’t want me, don’t I?” She said quietly.

Sherlock frowned to the point that he almost bit his tongue on just how unsatisfied he was by one of the lights of his life being so down on herself just because of a stupid man and a stupid woman making her feel so inferior. He had always held her above the rest. He wasn’t stupid for doing that either. She was brilliant and lovely, and everything that a man could possible want wrapped up into one petite woman - not quite always tied with a bow.

“No.” He feels the growl before he notices the way she looks at him in alarm. She wasn’t expecting him to be this way. He’s always doing the opposite of what she expects.

“What?” She tries to clear her throat.

Sherlock rises so that he’s standing for a moment. He looks up into the darkness of the room for a beat, his brain is whirring. Then he looks at her and he’s really looking at her as if this moment count. As if out of all the moments they’ve had this was the ne that she had to be alert for.

Problem is she’s drunk, and she almost wants to laugh, as much as she wants to cry but she doesn’t look away from him. Not really. She wants to remember this look on his face the next time she wants to throw something at him. “You’re wrong. Out of all the people you have wanted there’s one who wants you for you.”

“Are you insane?” It reads as if she’s asking if he’s high - even when she’s plastered out of her mind because of another man  she knows he’s not. From the beginning of all of this; from the out burst where she put Ramon’s escapades on display for all in attendance to know, to the point where Sherlock skipped out on ripping someone in half using only his words to run after her - he’s never left her side. Not even when she looked like this. A very pathetic vision she was sure.

He scoffs. “Normally that would be questionable but no, Molly. I’m very much in my mind. We’ve traded places. You’re...” He paused no doubtly trying to find a better way to tell her that she didn’t look happy without saying it out right. “Not okay.” He breathed, calling back to a few years when she had used that line on him. It had truly opened so many doors that he hadn’t been expecting.

“However, that’s more than okay with me. People run from situations like this because they’re terrified of what could happen. I can’t.”

“Why?” She let him talk for long enough while simultaneously trying to find her footing and get off the bed. She faltered and he made sure to catch her. There eyes never leaving each other’s, it was like a very clumsy dance.

Sherlock smiles at her. It’s soft, and knowing - the kind of knowing that only two people who have gotten used to each other should be able to understand, and Molly does understand.

“You should go.” She fumbles out.

Even though her eyes are saying a completely different story, he nods. He was actually expecting this. “I’m not running away.” She tells him as she leads him to the door.

“I know.” He replies.

“I just rather not do the next part when you still have a case to finish, and I’m more sober.”

He’s fully aware that the first part was a half truth but he takes it. “It wouldn’t matter if you were sober. My feelings about you are still the same.”

“How do you know?” She had started to edge the door closed, his foot was stopping her.

“You’re everything. I meant that.”

Molly’s brows knitted. She doesn’t know what to say in return. So she bids him good night. Before she can bolt the lock, he knocks again.

“Sherlock, I told you we weren’t...”

She stops when he pulls her towards him and presses his mouth to hers. When he pulls back, “Goodnight, Molly.”

She didn’t think that was what he meant to say but she couldn’t even come up with anything herself before he closed the door once more.

She returned to her room and plopped down on her bed trying to think. It was hard when your brain was just as cloudy as your heart. He had kissed her and then left.

She wasn’t sure if she was happy with that but she wasn’t thinking about the other man who had hurt her in the past.

When she woke up at half past twelve she found a text.

I’ll be done around 2. Still want to talk? - SH

Molly grumbled, she decided maybe she hated him a little for his arrogance so early on. He had sent that text at 8am.

She replied slowly.

I need food first. You let me get drunk.

Check the kitchen. I’m almost there. - SH

It’s not 2.

He didn’t reply. Molly tossed her phone and headed to the shower. This was what she was going to have to deal with.

It took twenty minutes for her to end up in the kitchen eating the takeout he had gotten her at some point during the night or morning that she was not awake.

She turned when she heard the lock click.

He knew the pass-code.

She passed a hand over her face. This was going to be a day.

Sherlock didn’t come sauntering in although he could have. Instead he plated himself some food and joined her at the island. “Finished early.”

Molly made a noncommittal noise.

“My birthday.�� He started.

She sighed.

“Your brother needed to know it too.”

“Change it.” He scoffed.

Molly smiled. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a long day.

She waited until she was mostly finished with her food to reach up and peck him on the cheek. “Thanks for the food.”

Sherlock eyed her slowly. She did look very appreciative and then some.

He reached forward and tucked a loose strand behind her ear. “It’s a new day,” He commented carefully.

She disregarded that thought entirely. She couldn’t help but think about what he had did. To her. “Would you do it again?”

His eyes widen significantly. “Do what?”

Molly bit her lip. “You left before I could do anything.”

Sherlock almost wanted to laugh at how adorable she was when she was both flustered and pouting. “That was the point.”

“You’re lucky I like to keep you around, Sherlock.”

He leaned towards her, “You sure you’re the one keeping me?

“Your parents sent me flowers a few months ago.”

Sherlock balked. “When?”

Molly moved over to her fridge where she had tacked the card underneath a few other memos she had written lately. “I figured you must have told them my name or something.”

“I’ve mentioned you before, yes.” He was thinking. She could tell. “One of my siblings must have given them your address.” He sounded slightly perturbed, she passed the card to him.

“You were still upset with me when you got them.”

Molly tried not laugh as he pointed out the rip through his name where she had tacked it. “They were nice flowers though. Lasted a long time. I do take care of things.”

“And we’re back to the whole Keeper thing.”

“Your mother said I did a good job. Mums are usually right.”

He sighed. “If I kissed you would that be the end of the conversation?”

“For now.” She laughed.

He shot her a look that read so many things.

However after everything that had transpired recently he couldn’t not go through with it. Not to silence the woman he was besotted with for a few years at least, but because she was tempting. Which was half the reason he didn’t tell her that part of his morning was spent telling her past lover how much he had missed by hurting her.

They still had a lot to talk about but for now he was done with that.

She made sure of it. She was the one to initiate the kiss. “You’re being slow.” Was her only quip.

They had to take a few more steps but he never forgot the words they exchanged and like the others who had tried to use his words against him, he would in his own and loving way do the same to his partner.

After all this had all started with her, a case that involved flowers and a wedding.

<3

Buy me a coffee?

[wellyfullofale]

We didn't get any amazing Drabbles from you today! I miss them so much! I was wondering if you could write something from today, about why Robert was wandering around the village without Aaron (in my head it was that Aaron was so tired he'd been sleeping for ages, but woke up to find Robert "being creepy" watching him sleep, and sent him out to get food but that's just me) cause you know Robert didn't want to leave his side for anything!! I love your writing! Thanks for sharing it!!!!!!

Oh bless you for this message! I kinda got distracted by the prison release and I am a terrible multitasker so when I’m obsessing over tumblr and rewatching scenes to within an inch of their life I can’t write at the same time! However I’m currently sat out in my garden with the laptop for a couple of hours so I’ll try and get some done today!

As for your request…

“What?”

Robert smiled at Aaron’smumblings.

“Thought you were asleep,” heexplained softly, bringing his hand up to touch his husband’s cheek.

Aaron shifted in the bedslightly.

“I am,” he muttered back, stillwith his eyes closed. “Could feel you watching me,” he added with an upturn ofhis lips, smile threatening to break out on his face.

“How could I not?” Robert smiledback at him, shuffling closer.

“Bit creepy,” Aaron teased, andRobert couldn’t help the instinctive need to lean in and tickle his husband inthat sensitive spot on his hip.

Aaron jolted at Robert’s touch.

“You’re cold,” he complained witha breathy laugh, pushing Robert’s hands away from him under the covers.

Robert smiled.

“I’ve been cold for six weekswithout my personal radiator here to warm me up.”

Aaron smiled, blinking open hiseyes narrowly.

He exhaled with what looked a lotlike relief at the sight of Robert’s face looking back at him from his pillow.

“Am I dreaming?” he whispered, thefragility in his voice betraying him somewhat.

“Feels like it, doesn’t it?”Robert replied, his own words having to fight past the lump in his throat.

“Time is it?” Aaron asked.

“Late,” Robert replied. “Almostnoon.”

Aaron winced as he stretched outa little.

“And how long you been watchingme?” he teased.

Robert coughed, raising hiseyebrows as he realised he’d been found out.

“Not long,” he lied. “Maybe…Idunno. An hour or so?”

He daren’t tell him he’d beenawake since 9am.

Aaron smiled, shifting forwardsin the bed, letting his warm hands travel up the outline of Robert’s body as helay on his side – absence of his boxers a reminder of the reunion they’d hadthe night before.

It hadn’t been the usual –frantic and passionate – but it had been slow, and gentle, and perfect; areminder of the way that they had all the time in the world together, now.They’d talked first – had gone up to their bedroom in the pub early on, as theparty still swung in full flow beneath them, and they’d lain down on the bed,side by side, fully clothed, and talked about their feelings.

Robert told Aaron he’d hardlyslept in their bed; that he hadn’t been able to face it without him. The sofahad been his home, and his days had been non-stop, filled with Liv and Noah andthe scrapyard and the haulage company and The Mill.

Aaron told Robert about theprison routine; about Ethan and his conflicted, messed-up way of looking outfor him. About the way he’d missed Robert. About the way it had felt to sliphis wedding ring back on his finger just before he was released.

They’d kissed – slow; languid;punctuated with a smile, or a laugh, or a reminder of the fact they loved oneanother in that special and unique way that they did.

And they’d made love – not sex,not the heated exchange they were so used to – but the slow, gentlereconnection of two lovers who’d been torn apart and reunited. They’d kissed eachother through it, and Robert had whispered into Aaron’s ear how much he lovedhim as he came.

“I love you,” Aaron told hishusband now, staring into his eyes, memory of the night before still fresh.

“I love you, too,” Robertreplied, leaning in for a morning kiss.

Aaron yawned as he pulled away, stretchinghis muscles out and feeling his body sink into the warmth and comfort he’d beendeprived off for weeks.

“What do you want to do today?”Robert asked him. “Besides the obvious,” Robert drawled as he let his handssmooth over the tender skin on Aaron’s inner thighs.

“Not that,” Aaron smirked as hebatted Robert’s hand away. “Not yet, anyway,” he added at the sight of Robert’sconfusion.

“We’ve got some catching up todo,” Robert teased, returning his hands to his husband’s body.

Aaron laughed, leaning intoRobert’s touch this time.

“Okay,” he relented, far tooeasily. “But I need food first. Actual, proper food, like I haven’t had inweeks.”

Robert nodded.

“I could nip out and get us somebreakfast?” he suggested. “As much as I don’t wanna leave your side today, Isuppose I could let you sleep in for a little while longer?”

“Hmmmm,” Aaron groaned, alreadyrolling onto his side and snuggling himself down into his pillow. “Sounds good.”

Robert leant in and placed a kissagainst his cheek.

“Any requests?” he asked as heforced himself leave his husband’s side.

“Bacon,” Aaron mumbled into hispillow, eyes already closed, sleep already taking him back over.

“Bacon it is, then,” Robert agreed,giving himself a few more seconds to take in the beauty of his husband fastasleep beside him before he found the strength to tear himself away.

[feverhalo]

Teaser dump! Because I am an incredibly slow writer and want to give tumblr followers some sort of little boon for being cool and following me here

its a long post cause im teasing like 5 or 6 stories here. if the readmore doesnt work on mobile lemme know and I’ll try and fix it.

1 rule- no reposting anywhere please. these are teasers for the next parts of fics i’ll put up once i get them to a postable state. some of them i want to fully complete before breaking into chapters so you guys dont have to wait as long for updates, others I just got stalled out on and havent made progress in weeks.

theyre all VLD or FMA in here. I have a few ideas jotted down for Natsume too but havent gotten them started. I also just caught up on the new season and want to rewatch it some to get better characterization for some of the others.

Post Immunization pt2 FMA

“Brother? Brother, I know you’re tired, but you can’t sleep in the car any more.” Ed swiped his hands over his face. Everything felt warm and foggy except for the splitting headache he had and a rather uncomfortable heaviness in his arm pulsing low pain up his good shoulder. In short, not the nicest thing to wake up to. He mumbled out a jumbled mess of what he thought to Al.

“I know it isn’t very nice brother, but you don’t have to swear at me about it.” Ed shrugged, continuing to swipe the cool metal of his automail over his face as he let his flesh arm fall back to rest between him and the seat. Alphonse reached over the seat between himself in the back and his brother to nudge at Edward and disrupt him from curling back up and sleeping again. “We stopped and got dinner, and you might prefer being inside overnight, the military parking lot isn’t a proper place to sleep.”

“Don’t leave me in the parking lot,” Ed’s forehead creased and he took on a whining tone. “Geeze what kind of asshole-“

“If you get out now, you won’t have to go back to the parking lot. If I knew you’d prefer sleeping in a car over my oh so generous offer I really would have let you, you know.”

“That kind of asshole then.” Ed rolled himself up to sitting, bracing a hand on his aching head. A shiver quaked across his shoulders as he stumbled out into the evening air.

Turnabout Is Fair Play pt3 VLD

“Is he okay?”

“What do you think made that happen so quickly?”

“Is Lance going to be in bed all day?”

“Guys,” Shiro held up his hands, pleading. He pointed to the pathetic spread on the table, “Eat first. I don’t want us all neglecting ourselves when our energy needs to be there.”

They all sat and pulled hot cups over to themselves and rooted through the breakfast offerings. Pidge grabbed some sort of chip-like snack, Hunk took some of the burned toast and a fruit from the dish, and Keith uncrossed his arms long enough to pull some of the toast to his plate as well. Shiro waited for the crinkling of the packaging to quiet before he spoke.

“It got pretty bad, he was pretty dehydrated from the mission, and I guess between that and his fever… Anyway, he’s doing okay. Still a pretty nasty fever, but its not dangerous and he’s got water and medicine. Still sleeping, last I saw, which is good because it means he is resting and not in distress. I think the plan is going to be that he’ll stay in the med bay area for today. I don’t want you guys sneaking down there until he’s awake and decides he is up for it.”

“He’s okay, for real though?” Hunk was starting to fidget stiffly and uncomfortably.

A prompt that is unnamed as of yet VLD

The plumes of smoke were highly corrosive in nature, from the readouts on screen. Nothing in the atmosphere was welcoming to human life, and while the ocean here was a lovely lavender with waves that would make any surfer stare in stunned silence before rushing in- it was also extremely hostile to their human make up. Not to mention the huge shadows lurking beneath, and the huge scarred fins breaking the surface on occasion.

“You’re all doing wonderfully! There should be a gale of wind coming in from the south side in a few moments,” Coran crackled over the radio. “From my understanding this isn’t quite the ‘parasailing’ experience, but it is a much more advantageous training method for us!”

Even with their suits, the Lions, and all the careful planning and advanced technology, the stench of the volcano seeped into the cockpit of each Lion. Pidge was coughing harshly, trying to mute their line each time to spare the others. That tea from earlier had done wonders, for a while. But the acrid atmosphere, even if it was filtered well and none of the harmful particles were coming in, was so strong smelling it woke up the scratchy burning pain from earlier.

“Pidge! On your 7!” Hunk shouted during one of the coughing fits taking hold of Pidge. Below the green Lion the ground was starting to crack from the volcanic pressure and seeping smoke.

Pidge grabbed the controls with one hand, the other held in front of their helmet in reflex. One handed- they jerked Green out of the danger zone as the ground split and shot up hot vapors and flecks of molten minerals and bits of charcoaled vegetation still clinging to the surface. It wasn’t a pretty dodge by any means, but it did the job. The turn ended a little roughly, and Pidge was slammed into the side of the pilot seat, but other than that they were fine. Pidge took a deep breath after the fit subsided.

“Thanks Hunk-“ They cleared their throat before realizing the comm was still off. Pidge flicked it back on before repeating, “Thanks Hunk. Saved my tail there, literally.” Green flicked her tail around to show her thanks as well.

Ed Whump 2 Electric Boogaloo (working title will be changed) FMA

Upon arriving at the Hughes' residence, Gracia gasped, dropping the doll she had been holding when the door opened to show the two of them. Dirt caked and bandaged as Ed was, the Colonel was also battleworn, clothing torn in some places and with the dust of alchemic reactions stuck to his face and uniform. Elicia was still off on the background, her happy little voice filtering through the open door.

"Sorry to show up in such a sorry state," Roy gave her a lopsided grin. "I do not intend to impose, but I can't speak for the brat."

Ed swatted at the hand Roy had used to gesture in his direction. Throughout the walk Ed's energy flagged further, and he was left panting and speechless. He resorted to short, snapped comments and commands or simply swatting lightly at Roy with the automail. They had to stop a few times, even going as far as sitting down for twenty minutes on a bench after a stumble that caused Ed a hot flash of pain that left him nauseated. His bruised ribs were not making the trek easier.

"Oh, nonsense. Ed and Alphonse never impose," She gave Ed a smile. It seemed lost on him, he was trying to catch his breath and avoid pain at the same time. His eyes were glassy and he was sweating slightly. The fever the doctor had warned about was visible on his pink cheeks by now as well. "Come on in."

"Thank you," with that, she stepped aside and Roy walked in with Ed following. Mustang casually undid his jacket and hung it on the hook and respectfully undid his shoes and set them to the side.

Ed stomped on the heel of his boots and tugged his feet from them, bracing himself on the wall with his automail hand. That accomplished, he pushed them with his foot to the side and left them in a heap. Ed carefully worked his jacket off his injured shoulder and let it slide off his automail arm to the floor. Roy leaned down to pick it up after Ed gave it a half-hearted kick to try and fling it on top of his boots.

Ed Whump-in-progress 1  FMA

He grabbed a seat, kicking his feet up to rest on the edge of the seat across so he could use his legs as a tale to hold his journal. While they were in transit, he and Al may as well go over what they’ve learned so far to see if they may be able to gather anything while on this assignment.

The Elric brothers drifted into their own world going over their notes, and the rest of the group climbed aboard and the train started in motion after everything and everyone was accounted for.

Edward’s attention turned further away from his meal and their current destination as he and Alphonse nit-picked over small details and things they had learned through their travels so far, and soon found himself getting uncomfortable on the hard seat. Slowly the sounds of the rest of the military group in the cab trickled into his awareness, and he zoned out to a game of cards Falman and Furey had been playing together.

“Ah, they return to the world outside of alchemy. You guys excited for this?” Breda  was leaning over the seat ahead of theirs, watching them seemingly oblivious to everything as they hummed and hawed over their research.

“Yes, as much as I can be. I am really thankful that Colonel Mustang is allowing me to ride along. I understand its a really big favor,” Alphonse rubbed at the back of his helmet. “I’m very sure brother is thankful for it as well. We have a lot to go over.”

“Yeah.” Ed leaned back, wondering when he started feeling so exhausted. “He’s not being an ass about it, surprisingly.” He stared out the window for a few minutes, zoning out again. The sky was changing to a dusky purple, and with belated interest he noted the wall lamps lighting up. The motion of the train was adding to his exhaustion, making it hard to keep his eyes open. 

Alphonse encouraged his brother to sleep, and kept himself occupied joining the others in card games and listening to the stories they told. Edward rested his head against the glass, drifting off as the kilometres flew by. Hours passed and Alphonse found himself awake alone after a while. He watched his brother sleep, fitfully at times, with his forehead pressed to the glass leaving a foggy halo. He read some to pass the time, some notes and parts of the lighter novels he had started. 

Ed stirred eventually, stretching his legs forward with a groan. His eyes opened and he blinked a few times before registering Alphonse across from him.

“Mornin’ Al,” he mumbled checking the horizon. The dark sky dotted with pinprick stars drifted by behind the speeding scenery. “Can you open the window for a bit? ‘S hot in here.” 

“You can sleep more, brother.” Alphonse stood as quietly as he could to crack the window as his brother ran his hands over his face, shuddering as he tried to hold back a yawn. Ed nodded, seeming to miss the words entirely as he sat up straighter and stretched a bit more.

“In a bit,” he swallowed, “weird dreams. Its kinda stifling in here, could use the air.” Ed pulled his legs up onto the seat. He felt so sore, how long had it been? He searched his pockets for his watch.