#I just hate hearing her catastrophize and trying to scare me straight or whatever

[heyitsphoenixx]

love losing sleep and spiraling for hours during the day about having to get wisdom teeth out and the price I love it

[thesecondcircleofkel]

Gift

Aizawa x Reader (gender neutral) 

3.5K

Summary: Aizawa receives a gift that he simply cannot turn away. 

Warnings: none

To say that you were tired of the rain would be an understatement. The downpour had barely let up over the past few days, and if it kept going on like it was, you were going to have to swim your way back to U.A. It was already hard enough having to pack up the majority of your belongings in order to move to the campus, and the rain did absolutely nothing to alleviate your struggles. It also made things seem much grimmer than they already were, which should have been difficult everything considered. Between what had happened at the training camp and the Kamino Ward Incident, it certainly seemed like U.A. was currently experiencing the lowest point of its history.

It was a blessing that Bakugo had made it through everything relatively unscathed, but Ragdoll’s Quirk had been stolen, and while you weren’t privy to all of the details, you knew that All Might could no longer use his Quirk, either. Whether it was because of his physical condition or something else entirely, you didn’t know, but you were glad that he was able to stay on as a teacher even though he had to retire as a hero. The whole situation was still a mess, though, and you could only hope that Nezu’s dorm idea would help things to settle back down.

As it was right now, you and the rest of the teachers were having to move to the U.A. campus along with the students, in the hopes that having so many heroes close by would keep them even safer than they already were. You were sure that the principal had other reasons for keeping you all so close by, but that information hadn’t been made known to you, and you weren’t going to make things any harder on yourself by trying to figure everything out. You were just going to roll along with all of it and do your job as best you could.

The only reason that you had journeyed out into the torrential downpour this go around was because you needed a few extra things to make your new room on campus feel more welcoming. You had contemplated just waiting until the rain stopped to go out, but now that you had finally finished unpacking, you wanted to be completely done with setting up your room so you could focus on relaxing until classes started.

You had just crossed the street after leaving the store when a faint rustling caught your ears. Normally, you wouldn’t have paid much attention to random noises like that, but the faint mew that followed it definitely put you on alert, and you immediately started searching for the source of the cry. It didn’t take you long to track the noise down to an alleyway, where it seemed to be coming from underneath a dumpster.

With little regard for your clothing or dignity, you crawled onto your belly in order to look under the dumpster, and there you found a small kitten, soaked down to the bone and shivering. The poor thing was too tired to even think about resisting you as you reached under the metal receptacle and delicately grabbed it. You quickly stood up and put the kitten under your jacket, holding it against your stomach to give it as much warmth as possible as you ran back to U.A.

For once you were somewhat grateful for the rain, because nobody was around to stop or question you as you stormed through the campus gate and sprinted to your room. You immediately threw your shopping bags down and went to your bathroom, where you wrapped the kitten up in a towel. You held onto it until it finally stopped shivering, and then switched the damp towel out for a fresh one. The kitten (who you found out was a little lady when you switched the towels out) obviously appreciated what you were doing, if the purring was anything to go by. You started to rub her behind the ears, and that was enough to send her straight to sleep.

Your next dilemma was figuring out what to do with her. It wouldn’t kill you to keep her yourself, and you assumed that none of your colleagues would care if you had her, either. Vlad had been able to bring his dog with him, so why would it matter if you had a cat in your room? The thing was, you were pretty sure that you knew someone who would enjoy having her even more than you would. Aizawa’s love for felines wasn’t exactly a secret; you had lost count of the times that you’d caught him looking up pictures of cats on his phone during his down time, plus you’d seen him trying to feed strays on many occasions. The question was, did he already have a cat? And if not, why?

You could just go directly to the man and ask him all of that yourself, but you were afraid that it might be awkward. For whatever reason, he was always quiet around you, quieter than he normally was, at least. You weren’t aware that you had ever done anything to offend him, but maybe you were just being paranoid. You were a little hyperaware of everything he did on account of…well, you’d be lying if you said that you weren’t attracted to him.

It wasn’t just a physical attraction, either. There was just something about that overly serious attitude of his that got to you, and then when you added his strange habits on top of that (his sleeping bag being the prime example), your curiosity was certainly piqued. What really sealed the deal for you was the USJ incident. Just seeing how far he went to protect his students, how he kept fighting even through injury, sent your heart soaring and the admiration that you already had for him grew tenfold. So yeah, you were a little nervous around him, and that was only made worse by the fact that you had no clue if he even liked you. Hizashi assured you that he did, but you weren’t convinced.

Speaking of Hizashi, he’d probably have some of the answers that you needed. You quickly took out your phone and sent him a text.

Y/N: Yo Mic, can you pop over to my room for a minute?

MIC: But Y/N I juuuuuuuuuuust sat dooooooownnnn.

Y/N: Dear god, I can hear you whining over a text. Just get over here. I need to borrow your knowledge.

MIC: Weird, but alright.

There was a knock at your door shortly after that, and you opened it to let Hizashi stroll into your room.

“Now, Y/N, just what was so important that you-ooh! Kitten!”

Hizashi had immediately spotted the ball of fur that was now curled on top of your bed, still asleep even through his loud voice. Whatever he was going to say was put on the backburner as he went to sit on your bed, where he picked the kitten up and put it on his lap so he could have easier access to pet it.

“Is this why you had me come over?”

“Yep. I’m trying to figure out what to do with her.”

“Are you not keeping her?”

“If it comes down to it I will, but I was thinking of trying to give her to someone else, first.”

“Oh? Someone I know?”

Based on the devious look in his eyes, Hizashi knew exactly who you were talking about, but he was going to torture you and make you say it. The glare that you gave him was very unimpressed.

“Yes, Mic, I was thinking of giving her to Aizawa.”

“Well, well, how convenient of you, Y/N, wanting to give Shouta a gift, and it’s one of his favorite things in the world, too. One would almost think that you were trying to impress him.”

“Look, I have no qualms with strangling you, Hizashi. Be helpful for once.”

“I am always helpful, thank you very much. Just admit that I’m right and then we’ll move forward.”

“You’re not right! Not in those exact terms, at least. He just so happened to be the first person I thought of when I found her, for obvious reasons.”

“So, you’re not denying that you’re trying to impress him, is that what I’m hearing?”

“I don’t even know if he likes me, Hizashi! For all I know, he’s barely tolerating my presence as it is! Although, knowing him, he’s probably just indifferent towards me, but that’s not the point! Does he already have a cat or not?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“It’s…complicated?”

“How so?”

“They just don’t…like him.”

“What?”

“Cats just seem to have a natural tendency to hate him, Y/N.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Nope, they hiss at him on sight.”

“I don’t know what to make of that, Hizashi.”

“I mean, I don’t think he’s ever tried to get a kitten before, so maybe it’ll be different? Maybe she hasn’t grown into her anti-Eraserhead instincts yet.”

“So, it won’t be catastrophic if I offer her to him?”

“Probably not.”

“Probably not…that’s totally the answer I was hoping for.”

“You’re really putting too much thought into this, Y/N. Just offer him the cat, and if he doesn’t want her or she hates his guts, then you keep her.”

“I suppose you’re probably right. For once.”

“Don’t be mean. Besides, she’s obviously the perfect cat to have on campus. Look at her, still knocked out even through all of your shouting. Little thing must have nerves of steel.”

“She’ll definitely need those around here. Well, I guess I should go see who the little lady will be rooming with, huh?”

“Wait, I have an idea! Just give me one second!”

This whole living on campus situation was certainly going to have interesting results, considering that it was only the first day and Hizashi had already bolted out of your room like a bat out of hell. You were almost scared of what he had gone to get, but when he came back just as quickly as he had left, you saw that he had only went to get a strand of ribbon. Where he had gotten it from, you wouldn’t question.

“Presentation is everything, Y/N!”

“You know what? If you think you can safely tie a bow around that kitten, go for it. Entertain me, Hizashi.”

“Are you doubting my bow-tying skills, Y/N? You better watch and learn, because you are about to witness a master at work.”

You wouldn’t exactly describe him as a master, but he did manage tie a rather nice bow. He made sure that it was loose enough around her neck that the kitten could easily slip out of it whenever she wanted to, and then he put her back on the bed with a cheeky grin aimed your way.

“I stand corrected. Now, if you’ll be so kind as to excuse me, I have an appointment to go embarrass myself. Thanks for the help, Hizashi.”

“Any time, Y/N! I expect to be the first person invited to the wedding!”

“Feel free to leave now, Mic.”

“Fine, fine. You’ll thank me later, Y/N! I’m the best wingman this school has ever seen!”

U.A.’s greatest wingman promptly received a door slammed in front of his face. You could hear him laughing the entire time he walked away from your room, and you prayed that he would trip and fall on his face. You doubted that karma would be that kind to you, though.

After giving Mic ample time to make it back to his own quarters, you swallowed the lump that had taken up residence in your throat and started to march your way towards Aizawa’s room. You were at the halfway point before you realized that you had forgotten the cat. After a short trek back to your room to retrieve the still sleeping kitten, you finally stood in front of the ominous doorway of Aizawa’s room. Every fiber of your being was screaming at you to turn around, but you took a deep breath to steel your nerves and knocked before you could chicken out.

You waited…and waited…and then you started to contemplate all of your life decisions. It would be your luck that he didn’t answer the door. Did he not hear you? Should you knock again? But what if he was asleep? God forbid you wake him up from the slumber that he so desperately needed. He could have stepped out for a moment. You could always wait for a few more minutes to see if he came back. Wouldn’t that make you seem like a weirdo, though, just hovering outside of his room and staring at the door as if it had personally offended you somehow? What a tough decision to have to make…

“Something wrong, Y/N?”

The sound that came out of your mouth was beyond undignified. Obviously, you had been so lost in thought that didn’t hear Aizawa walk up behind you, and you really wished that you had been paying more attention. You were pretty sure that the noise you’d made was so awful that it was going to haunt his nightmares; it certainly would yours. At least he hadn’t seen the kitten yet.

“Well, your stealth skills certainly aren’t lacking.”

Why couldn’t he have just said something? It didn’t have to be anything to lighten the mood or make you feel better, but just something. The silence was killing you, and it was moments like these that made you wonder if he actually hated you. He was just…staring, and you were starting to feel like he could see right through you. Was there something on your face? Why was he just-

“Are you alright?”

He very pointedly nodded his head down, causing to you to finally realize that you were in fact still wearing your dirty and wet clothes. That explained why he was staring: he probably thought that you were either crazy or stupid. Fantastic. He was probably also wondering why you had one of your hands behind your back. Seeing how your day was going so far, he was probably waiting for you to pop a knife out on him or something. He must have been planning the best way to disarm you and take you down. You were probably looking way too far into this.

“I’m fine. Just peachy, really.”

You were not peachy. You were actually quite disappointed in yourself, plus your clothes were wet, and now that he had pointed that out to you, you realized just how cold you were because of it. You were not peachy, at all. You were already so done with all of your own bullshit.

“Anyways, I just…uh…fuck it. I found a kitten earlier, do you want it?”

You had never seen Aizawa’s eyes shoot open as fast as they did when you brandished that kitten at him. She was still asleep, head lolled to the side as your hand supported her body. He seemed mesmerized by the tiny ball of fluff, taking in every little detail about her, from her white paws and underbelly, to the light grey tabby pattern that covered the rest of her body, all of which was topped off by a red bow hanging loosely around her neck.

“The bow was Mic’s idea.”

For once, Aizawa looked like he wasn’t sure how to comprehend what was happening. He kept switching his gaze from you to the kitten in your hand, and it was making you anxious. Maybe you had been a little too forward with your offer. Or maybe he just needed a little push, given what Hizashi told you about his unique effect on cats earlier.

“Do you want to hold her?”

He looked at you like you had slapped him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Just give it a try. She’s a sweet little lady, so I’m sure she’ll love you.”

You really hoped she would, at least. You had waited a long time for an opportunity to come around to actually build some sort of relationship with Aizawa that went beyond ‘coworkers’. Obviously, talking to him was not your strong suit at this point, so the kitten was the best chance that you had. You could only imagine that your hopes would be completely shattered if the little lady decided to scratch his face off at first sight.

Before either of them could sense your own nerves regarding the situation, you quickly shoved the kitten towards Aizawa, forcing him to take her from you. He held her at a distance at first, like he was waiting for the inevitable bad reaction to start, but when she still didn’t stir from her sleep, he took the opportunity that he was given and held her closer as he started to pet her.

You both froze as the kitten finally started to wake up, but you let out a very audible sigh of relief as she only stared at Aizawa for a few seconds before she nuzzled her head against his hand and started to purr. Aizawa looked thrilled at her affection, at least, he looked as thrilled as someone of his countenance could. Honestly, you weren’t quite sure what to make of the Totoro-style grin that he was sporting, but you’d take it as a good sign.

“See? No anti-Eraserhead instincts in this little lady.”

“You really did talk to Mic about this.”

“He’s actually said that to your face before?”

“Multiple times.”

“How shameless. But, ignoring Mic for a minute, now that we know she won’t attack you on sight, do you want to keep her? It’s not like we live far from each other now, so if you ever need anything, I’m more than willing to help.”

“…There’s no logical reason for me not to keep her, so long as you don’t want her.”

“Who wouldn’t want this precious angel?”

You emphasized your statement by scratching the kitten behind her ear again. Aizawa didn’t flinch at your close proximity to him, so you took that as another good sign.

“But, I think she’ll make you just a little bit happier than she would me. Just a little, though. Now, since all that’s settled, I’ll leave you two alone to bond. Let me know if you need anything!”

You quickly walked around Aizawa with the intent of going back to your room before you had the opportunity to embarrass yourself in front of him again, but a hand on your forearm held you back.

“Wait, Y/N. I obviously need to go get a few things for her. You should come with me.”

To hell with Mic, he had just lost the title of greatest wingman at U.A., and it now belonged to a tiny little kitten. It wasn’t exactly a date, but you’d take the chance and run with it. He was still holding your arm, too, and the warmth radiating from his hand was enough to make you practically melt on the spot. It also reminded you of just how cold you were.

“Yeah, I’d love to. I should probably go change first, though.”

“That would be a smart decision. We’ll wait here for you.”

It took all of the willpower that you had not to skip back to your room, and even more of your effort was going to have to be put into wiping the giddy grin off your face before you went back to Aizawa.

Speaking of Aizawa, he was going through his own struggle to quit smiling. He was afraid that he had chased you off with his unintentional cold demeanor- Mic had told him that you thought he didn’t like you before- but there you were, in all of your cheerful glory, giving him a cat that actually seemed to like him. He wouldn’t let the opportunity go to waste; he had been struggling with his own emotions and the illogical reasoning that they brought with them, and that was why he had been acting so strangely around you. In actuality, he was quite fond of everything about you, from your dedication to your job and hero work to the small things, like the way that you greeted him every morning.

Now that the ice had been broken, he’d make sure that you knew exactly how he felt about you. He wouldn’t rush it though; he didn’t want to take a chance on scaring you away again. For now, he would take things slow, and that meant going to pick up pet supplies with you even though he already had just about everything he needed in his room from his previous attempts to befriend strays. It wasn’t the most logical thing to do, but he could live with that, so long as he was able to make progress towards a relationship with you. Maybe the two of you could bond over picking out a name for the kitten; you did find her after all, so it was only fair to let you help with that since you weren’t keeping her. At least it would be a good conversation starter.

[bang-me-bangtan-style]

CHAPTER NINE

WORD COUNT: 3303

Sehun had completely stopped interacting with you, and you felt like shit, but you deserve every bit of shit there could possibly be. You had broken him over and over where he had completely become this monster. And just when the old sehun was coming back you created a worse one. One who wouldn't even acknowledge your existence. But you had to remember, you wanted this you wanted nothing to do with him. You're the one who had improper feelings not him so you should suffer in every way possible.

You had been avoiding Kris for some time now, you didn't even talk to him in 1st hour. and he was confused on what he had did. At least according to Tao. But you didn't want to deal with Kris, or anyone of that matter, and you especially didn't want to deal with...

"GD, seriously I'm not in the mood, so if you wouldn't." You said trying to stop this ship before it sailed. He looked at you in annoyance.

"Why are you like this?" he gave you this look.

You looked at him back the same way." I could say the same, why are you?" You were now face to face and he smelled good.

"I'm not anything bu-"

"A man whore? I know," You finished off for him.

"Yah that's not what I was going to say," He said pissed off.

"Well it's what you should have said," You said looking up into his eyes.

He sighed and took a step back, "When will I ever get you to understand me? Although you're like this I try for you-"

you were now fuming who even asked him to, "I don't need you to understand me! I never asked you too!"

He looked around people were now staring. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into an empty class room. "KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN!" He yelled at you.

Your eyes became big and you decide that you wouldn't go down without a fight. "Leave me alone and why are you yelling then?!" You yelled back.

He pressed you against the wall. "Listen up and listen well. " he said through gritted teeth. "All I'm trying to do is be nice, because I like you. I like you a lot that I'm willing to change for you because I want to be with you but you just won't let me in." He backed off you now that he had your full attention." I like you Ana but you're so difficult, closed off, and shielded that I don't know how to step in."

But when had you said you wanted anyone to step in? let's face it, he was forcing himself in. And that you didn't like.

You had to admit that you had a butterfly for on GD here and there. It was something you didn't want to acknowledge because he is the last person you want to say that about, but if he could help you get over sehun why not? What girl didn't like GD though? you only lied and said you never would like someone like that ever. But that was all in the past.

"Ha-ha, you change? What kind of drugs are you on now ?" Laughing at him. Joke it was a joke, but GD wasn't having it. He gave you an asshole look.

"Nothing, I really am sincere." he said bitchy because you just thought this was a game. You couldn't see that he was being really sincere.

He was now pressed against you and you were both face to face. His hands were on your hips and you about died. He was putting it on you because you could feel him through his uniform pants. He hesitantly kissed your neck afraid you would freak out and push him off. But you didn't. and that he liked. That right there gave him so much hope.

"Do you want this or not?" he said huskily. So straight forward he was.

God, you were soaked. So, this is why the girls dropped their shit for him. The effect he had was like a spell. Your eyes glazed over in lust and he barley did a thing. His lips found yours and you didn't hesitate to kiss back. You were doing things you don't normally do? With him. What is this sorcery?

This bad boy had you in the palm of his hand. That boy, had you wrapped around his fingers. It was a wrap. GD caught you, you were in his trap now. Nothing was ever going to be the same again with him. This was how he got the girls to swoon all over him. He liked to think of it as a 1 on 1 session, one he would very much like to finish in the bed.

But since Kris cheated on you, you decided that you needed someone, anyone to get back at him. Because that was just the kind of person you were sadly. "Ana I want to take you right here and right now but I won't." He said finding the will to back off. And he did. Leaving you glazed over and what not. It was like you were somebody else. "Ana come to my party." He said grabbing the door handle. "you won't regret it." And he left.

"Shit." You said, shit shit shit shit..." you just kept repeating. You were in such deep shit.

You waited a few seconds before walking out the class room after him. When you shut the door behind you. Sehun was about to walk past the door but stopped when you came out. And next to him unfortunately was his slut. This bitchhhhhhhhhhh.

You looked at him and his girlfriend gave you that look of disgust. Stupid bitch. You couldn't stand her. You didn't know why she tried you every fucking time, guess she wanted another ass beating. She's lucky you had class so wouldn't smack the shit out of her for disrespecting you.

Sehun looked over to GD who was just about to walk around the corner to the next hall. He then looked back at you and disappointment was written all over his face. You adverted your gaze elsewhere and walked passed them both. As you looked back you ran into Kris.

"Ana." He said just as surprised as you were. He been trying to talk to you, calling you, and texting you but you just weren't having his shit right now.

Great. Let's cut this shit short.

You didn't want to deal with him right now. You tried walking away from him. Why are you being like this? What did I do?" he grabbed your arm.

Ugh.

"I don't know you tell me." You said bitchy.

He closed his eyes. "Eun mi?" Wow so he knows? " it's not what you think." He sighed out opening his eyes.

"Oh, then what is it then? She is a slut and you know that." You said pointing to him. " and I know that" you said pointing to yourself. not recognizing your angry voice.

"Were not dating." He snapped. Indicating that you shouldn't be mad when you guys weren't an item. But whatever.

See, this pissed you off. He said all these things to you. Said he was going to change. And that you were to take it slow. But look first week, but why Eun mi though. That was sehun's sluts best friend which maybe was the reason why you hated the fact that he cheated. Or in your case, since you weren't dating "talked to someone else."

You were caught off guard by his words and you were paralyzed in the throat at that moment. You couldn't even speak. So, since you found that your legs could move you walked away. Why was he being such a dick? And why did you care? And the crazy part it didn't hurt much. You just were scared because... your use of him was being obstacled. And you seemed to be catastrophic every chance you got. (Going overboard with things.) Just because you felt like it and no one would stop you.

"Ana..." he tried to grab you but you weren't having it. You disappeared up the stairs going to your next class. Because you didn't want to hear it. That was the end of it and that's because you said so. Never again would you trust Kris.

2ND HOUR LP LANGUAGE

"Hey." you were greeted by Baekhyun but you didn't want to talk to anyone right now. Kris, sehun, and GD were getting on your last nerves. You didn't want to add Baekhyun to the list.

"Okay then ignore me then." Baekhyun said enthusiastically, sitting down in his seat in the back.

The empty seat next to his was Sehuns. Sehun strolled in, as usual you couldn't tell what he was feeling. but he didn't hesitate to give a look. A look of disgust. Well at least he acknowledge you? You zoned out it was Friday and that raggedy party GD was trying to get you to go to popped in your head. Ugh. How annoying. Why couldn't he just leave you alone. You had enough problems and dealing with him pissed you off. And what pissed you off more was the effect he had you all of sudden it was like.. since you were playing so hard to get he pulled out a wild card and played it. He was playing you and you were suddenly playing back.

Class had started and you started to zone out. You started thinking about things and didn't necessarily know where you were getting at when you thought about your life problems. you always seem to be going back to square one with your thoughts.

"Ana, please come correct this sentence. " you jumped out your thoughts. You didn't even realize class started. You were too out of it. How long was you like that? You magnetically made eye contact with sehun as you stood in front of the class.

"OK now correct it into the right form." Ahh son of a bitch why were you picked on anyways? Damn teachers.

You tried to do your best to kind of wing it since you didn't know what the fuck was even going on. "Alright, are you done?" seonsangnim asked you shook your head yes and hoped for the best. "Class is this right?" He said putting your shit on blast. Really? No shit Sherlock. It is wrong. You know it was wrong. Why did he have to do the most?

"No, she forgot everything." Sehun said from the back. "well then, Please Mr. oh teach your sister how to do things." Seonsangnim said. You gave you teacher a look. Really? did he just tell you off like that. And there went that anxiety rising higher as sehun made his way to the front. You were the stupid one clearly. Sehun was always better than you in every possible way.

Ugh.

Sehun corrected over your hand writing and you stood watching as he correctly fixed the English sentence. The right Grammar and everything.

"Ah thank you Mr. Oh, At least someone was playing attention. Mrs. Oh make sure to learn from your brother, better yet pay attention in my class." he said clearly annoyed. The whole class stared at you as you made your way back your seat. Sehun stared at you with them and you felt like it was you against them. God, you were such a piece of shit. You were glad it was Friday. This school shit was getting to be a burden.

Never mind, you needed this weekend. And what better was other to party. All you wanted to do was get drunk and forget that life was such a bitch. Maybe you could drink yourself to death. All you knew was you wouldn't care about anything or anybody. Maybe you could go to that party after all.

The bell finally rang and sehun and you took the same route to your guys 3rd hour. He was at your heals and you'd wish he would go away and take everyone in this school with him so you could be alone. He didn't say anything and neither did you.

"Oh, look who it is oh Luhana."

(A\N: I think I'm going to change her name to OH Sehana? What do you guys think?)"

You glared at the person outside your math teacher's door. And you wish you could make him disappear.

"Kai fuck off." You said walking past him and into the room. After that you didn't pay attention. You didn't want to, He was about to follow you in there but sehun pushed him back with annoyance. Kai was so annoying when it came to you these days he was like obsessed with you and sehun didn't like it.

"Stop leave her alone. She doesn't like you."

Kai laughed, "she doesn't like you either and you're her brother. " and kai pushed sehun's face back as if to dismiss him. Kai tried to walk pass sehun to get to you but...

BAM!

You looked towards the door, only to see sehun punch kai in the face. In no time a crowd gathered around. What the actual fuck was going on that made your brother punch kai, his best friend? And chanyeol ran up just in time.

Now you started to pay attention.

"What the FUCK." Chanyeol said as him and now Baekhyun pulled them both apart. Everyone in class was interested and had gotten out their seats.

"Sehuns mad because his sister hates his guts." he said throwing chanyeol off.

"fuck you Kim Jongin. Your obsessed with the fact that you can't bang my sister because she doesn't want you." He yelled in Baekhyun embrace.

Everyone inside kept looking at you since you were the topic of the fight.

"Oh yeah." He said getting in Sehuns face and chanyeol went to grab him again. "but at least it's okay if I do it." Chanyeol made sure to hold him from sehun.

Your heart dropped. His words didn't set right with you and you were on the verge of tears and a panic attack.

Okay everyone was lost what exactly was going on. Sehun punched him again and this time "your fucking sick! " sehun yelled at kai as his fist came in connected with his face.

"really but who has a relationship with his sister so closely?" Kai pushed wiping the blood of his lip. Trying to taunt sehun with shit he didn't even know about.

Another drop in the heart for you along with the pressure of a panic attack.

"what are you even saying kai, they don't even get along, they barely talk you're a dumb ass," Baekhyun said becoming very angry with kai, he looked at kai closely, and let go of sehun, "dude you fucked up." He said looking into kais eyes. "chanyeol get him out of here, leave school before his dumb ass gets caught with being under the influence of drugs."

Still, you were paralyzed. Time was in slow motion as you seen kai being taken away by chanyeol.

"I'll tell you what's fucked up-"kai continued.

Chanyeol stopped as kai wouldn't budge.

Now that you looked at him you could tell kai was on something. And maybe delusional. And why was he on drugs anyways what the fuck?

"Quit making up things!" Sehun again went for kai but Baekhyun held him back. Chanyeol finally managed to man handle kai and leave.

Everyone was whispering about kai and what he meant. And you just couldn't. Sehun seen you leave and he followed after you along with Baekhyun.

"What's going on why are you all standing here.?!" The teacher yelled oblivious to what just happened since he just arrived. "Get to your damn classes.

Meanwhile: You hid in the girl's bathroom. You were feeling burdened by kais words they just didn't sit right with you. It was like he knew something he shouldn't about you and you were about to hyperventilate.

"Ana." Sehun knocked on your cubical door. He had gone into the girls bathroom to follow after you. You put your foot up on the stool and hugged them. "Ana I know you in there." You closed your eyes tight and tears fell down your face.

"leave me alone." You said betrayed by your voice.

Ana, he is just talking shit." He pleaded.

"Go away."

"Ana." And suddenly the door opened. And you busted out crying. The stupid cheap ass locks broke on you as sehun barged in on the door. Grabbing you in his arms.

Meanwhile Baekhyun stood outside the bathroom as a look out.

"Byun Baekhyun why are you not in class?" Principal lee said.

"Shit." Baekhyun cursed out loud.

" mwo?!! Are you cussing?! "He said displeased.

"Mianhamnida I didn't me-"

but principal lee cut him off. "In my office now."

"Shit." Baekhyun accidentally let out again.

"now!" he started following him.

"Arasso." Baekhyun followed him.

Back in the bathroom

"why is he saying things like that?" You cried to him.

Sehun stood you up and pulled you out of the girl's bathroom but before he did he whispered Baekhyun's name. poking his head out the door. who didn't answer. damnit. where the fuck did he go? finally realizing he was nowhere to be found he grabbed you on the hallway that he knew had empty class rooms. shutting and locking the door behind you guys sehun brought you to the back and motioned for you to sit in the corner. So no one walking passed the window could see you guys.

the class was quiet and the light was off. and you couldn't help your sobbing. it was worrying you to the point that kai may know about you. you wouldn't know why or how he knew, you have never told anyone about your dark secret. so how would he know? by body language? if so you were hurt that you weren't strong enough to hold up your guard.

"Ana look at me stop crying." he grabbed you in his arms." kai had this thing back when we were all friends. he was jealous of me and your close relationship. he thought there was something on between us two as.." he didn't even want to say it. " you know what I mean, "he said avoiding you eye contact.

"but I just kept telling him we were just that close but NOT that close." and you couldn't stop crying. all your actions towards you brother had gotten someone to catch on. it was all your fault.

"but I seriously told him incest is wrong and is forbidden. I would never do something so disgusting out of line with you I mean come Ana were brother and sister how could we do such things? even the members agreed with me kai was making things up because he was jealous that is all don't worry too much. "and he kissed your head. But why did it hurt when he said it aloud. "it's wrong" "its forbidden"

"your very beautiful Ana and it brings out the dog in most men. "he said.

You still were crying.

"Ana please stop." but you couldn't Kim Jongin had figure part of it out. No matter if he was badmouthed about saying such things, or just trying to stir shit up. the thing was you tried to hid and protect sehun from this, and look it just go picked up by observation. but there was one thing kai got wrong he had it wrong. he thought sehun was in love with you. but little did he know it was really you. you were the disgusting one not him.

Mission status: slowly giving up.

[hecalledmehanbana]

This is a short story I wrote when I was like 16 in summer school.

The canopy of the leaves embraced her graceful body as she ran, escaping from the confines of her cave home. The beautiful black stripes stood out against the bright copper coat. The white accents on her neck, face, and underbelly highlighted the darkness of the dark forest floor.

“Torah! Wait up!” she heard her best friend Tipu call after her.

“Dang!” She thought, “I thought that I got away without him seeing me. Obviously not.” She slowed to a walk, giving Tipu a chance to catch up and breathe again. As he breathes normally again, they walk, side by side and Tipu starts talking.

“Why do you always take off? One of these days your father is going to explode with worry and he will marry you off to some random prince you don’t know because then he won’t have to worry about you anymore. I don’t want you to have to leave, Torah. You are my best friend and I don’t want that to change.”

“Tipu, you are my best friend too, but I can’t take this anymore. I’m not cut out to be a princess. I need to get out of here!” Torah answered. Tipu replied,

“What did he do this time to make you take off?”

“He was trying to make me learn how to walk like royalty! I do not want to be royalty! He should just let someone who wants to be princess be the princess. I don’t want to be a princess! HE CAN’T MAKE ME!” Torah raged.

“Actually Torah, he can. He’s your father and he is the one who can make these decisions for you. Your running away every time something he does makes you mad isn’t going to help anything! You are just going to be making everything worse for yourself. I don’t want to see you have to leave to go to a behavioral school or something!” Tipu countered. Torah grimaced. He did this every time. He always brought up her being sent away. She wouldn’t let him send her away, she couldn’t.

They walked side by side in silence for a while; just enjoying the sun streaking through the treetop canopy and each other’s company.

Little did they know, the peace they felt together that day was the last in a long time. The serenity of that moment was about to disappear, in a single catastrophe.

BANG! BANG! BANG! The silence of the forest disappeared in a burst of gunfire. On a singular instinct Torah and Tipu took off running. They ran away from the gunfire, but it seemed they couldn’t escape it. It was all around them. They were surrounded by the terrifying sounds of an instant death and an everlasting hell.

They ran for what seemed like forever and when they finally found a hiding place even Torah, the fittest one out of the two of them, or even everybody else, was winded.

After breathing and calming their heart rates down the best friends looked at each other in alarm and said in unison,

“WHERE ARE WE?! I was just going to ask you the same thing!” They looked defeated as they tried to remember if they were running to any specific place.

“Did you have any idea where we were running to?” Torah asked Tipu. Tipu replied with a crestfallen look saying,

“No, I thought you were so I was following you. Did you?” Torah looked down in terror,

“No. I know everywhere around home, but this isn’t around home. I don’t recognize it. We’re lost Ti.”

He looked dejected as he tried to encourage her that everything would be okay.

It was getting late and they were tired from their narrow escape from the poachers. Neither would admit it, but they were scared. They had almost died. Their lives would be different forever. So as the sun sank below the Blue Mountains that covered part of the island, the pair laid down; almost instantaneously, they were asleep.

When Torah woke up, Tipu wasn’t there beside her where he had slept the night before. She looked out of their shelter, a cave much like the one she lived in with her father. She sat straight up.

“Her father!” she thought, “He was going to be worried sick! He had probably heard the gunfire and assumed the worst. He probably thought he had lost her just like they had lost her mother last year. Those poachers! They are trying to kill us all! Why did she have to take off?! And why had she told her dad she hated him before she left? Why is everything happening now?” As she starts to panic she heard a noise outside the cave, “Ti, is that you?” She heard the reassuring answer she needed so much to hear.

“Yes Torah, it’s me. I have some food for you.” Torah smiled as Tipu walked in. He was always so thoughtful!

“Ti, after we eat we have to leave. We have to get home. My dad is going to be devastated if I don’t get back to him!” Torah stated, earning Tipu’s reply saying,

“We don’t even know where we are. How are we supposed to get home?” Torah blanched. She hadn’t thought that far ahead. But they had to try. She couldn’t stay here with Ti, she wanted to, but she couldn’t. It was against everything she had learned in “princess training” as she called it. You weren’t supposed to stay overnight with a guy. You weren’t even supposed to really be friends, but her dad had made an exception for Ti.

“Ti, we aren’t supposed to be here, together. We have to try and find a way to get back home. I know I just wanted to escape before and I didn’t care about the rules, but now I’m free, I don’t know what will happen if we go back. My father will be disgraced. We need to get back soon and minimize the damage. After what happened to my mom, you know my dad is having a hard time, and he’s overprotective, but he is still my dad. We need to try Ti. I need to go home.” Ti looked down, still eating, and said,

“I get it Tor, I really do, but what happens if we get ourselves even more lost? Do we even know which way is home?”

“No Ti. We don’t know where. But we need to trust our instincts. We can make it home, I know we can.”

“Okay. As soon as we finish eating, we can head home.”

“Thanks Ti! You’re the best! And we won’t get more lost. We have each other to keep ourselves in line.” Torah smiled the first real smile since they had gotten into this mess.

As they finished eating and got ready to start walking, Tipu asked, “How are we going to go?”

“I am going to follow where I know home is and mix that with what we saw yesterday. I got us into this mess and I’m going to get us out of it.” Torah replied, determined.

While they were walking Torah kept thinking, “When should I tell him? Should I even tell him? It’s been so long, does it even matter anymore?”

It was getting dark and they were still far from home. The pair decided to find a place to stay that night. When they found a place, they were exhausted so they laid down together for the second night in a row, keeping their body heat together.

The next morning, bright and early, they were up and they were moving towards home. They were more energized since they were closer. They could almost smell the familiarity of home. By night, if everything went right, they would be home, with their families again.

When they were eating lunch and Ti started to say something, only he knew what it was. He changed his mind about whatever it was because Torah never heard it. He wanted to tell her, but he was scared. What if she laughed, or just stopped talking to him altogether?

By midafternoon, the pair knew where they were. It was one of Torah’s favorite spots to hide when she ran away. Torah called to Ti,

“I’ll race you!” As she finished saying that she took off. That gave her a good five second head start. He caught up in a matter of a minute or so. They were finally home! They ran into the clearing where the circle of cave homes was and they were welcomed back with a roar of “Thank you God” and “They’re alive!”

The one who wasn’t there to welcome them was the one Torah needed to see the most. He was the one who she had come back for. She cautiously wandered back to her cave, her home. She peeked in and saw that her dad was right there. She wandered in, fear and excitement mixing. She stood there, just standing there and waited for her father to acknowledge her. When she got tired of waiting, she said,

“Dad? We’re back. I’m sorry I ran off. And I’m sorry I told you I hated you. I didn’t mean it. Please talk to me.” He turned then and said,

“Where is Ti?” She responded by walking out of the cave and seeing him standing there, she nods and he joins her and her father in the cave.

“Ti,” her father’s deep voice growled, “you brought my girl home safe like you always do. Thank you so much. I want to give you one thing, whatever you want, if it is in my power. So think carefully before you answer this.” Ti didn’t even have to think when he said,

“Let me be Torah’s prince. I know I’m not in the royal line, but I know her better than anything and she is my best friend and that will never change.” He looked at her father, who thought carefully before he answered,

“Of course you can Ti, if she will have you. You are already like a son to me and I know that you and Torah are so close. After spending a lot of time together since you were just cubs, I know that you will be good to her and she will be happy. Perhaps she will even be happier than she is now, in my house. Torah, will you let him be your prince?” She gaped; astonished that he was asking her say in something this important and barely stuttered out,

“Y-y-yes. Yes I will let him be my prince.” Ti grinned and finally there was that peaceful serenity after two days of stress. In the next few days, Torah started to do a lot of thinking,

“Maybe it isn’t so bad to have a prince.”

[a-c-i-d-k-i-t-t-y]

Fuck it & Answer all of them!

oomg ok! this will take forever so i’m gonna take breaks in between and then come back1.if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?they would read my journal, watch any of my favorite docs/films that relate to my mind and my life the most, and if someone wants to really understand me they’ll have to communicate with me, listen instead of just hearing me. they’ll have to want to understand.2.have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?oh yeah plenty 

3.three songs that you connect with?this is hard as hell cause i have a million songs i connect with, but just off the top of my head: Why - NFHelp - Papa RoachHonor Roll - BulowMyself - Layton Greenthat’s four but whatever4.would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?no that girl is like my sister lol

5.have you taken someones virginity?someone’s lesbian virginity6.how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?zero, i can’t see that ever happening. i’ve never fully trusted male figures.

7.if you could, would you take back your last kiss?noo

8.who would you like to see in concert?not counting anyone i’ve already seen,NF, post malone, paramore, ariana grande, billie eilish, kane brown, and a million more

9.what was the last concert you saw?i think it was demi but i feel like i seen someone after her who i’m forgetting

10.would you ever want to swim with sharks?maybe. if i’m totally safe doing so haha11.do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?i fuckin hope so, i’m making it a mission

12.what was the last thing that made you laugh?whatever random shit me and angie were talking about tonight when i seen her13.a song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?i have no idea, fire on fire - sam smith 

14.have any pets?4 kitties

15.do you want to have kids? How many?i don’t know honestly, it’s something i think about and flip flop with. i’ve always said that if i want to have a child, it’ll be before i’m in my 30′s and if it decide to, my plan forever was to have a sperm donor. but i don’t know if i can raise a child tbh. i have too many fears which i’m sure everyone does when thinking of having a baby. i can’t picture myself pregnant either lol. but i would want it to come from me if i had one.

16.do you have piercings? How many?my nose, vertical labret, and my ears are stretched

17.do you miss anyone from your past?i miss friends from my childhood and middle school who’ve moved away or drifted, family members who are gone now, and versions of people before they’ve changed due to addiction, struggles, etc

18.what are you craving right now?a shower cause i just got home

19.have you ever broken someone’s heart?yes not intentionally 

20.have you ever been cheated on?yes

21.have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?yes when i finally walked away, it bothered me a lot to make someone cry, but it really had to be done.22.do you believe in true love?yes

23.favourite weather?summer & fall!

24.do you like the snow?yes it’s pretty to look at, but i only like when it snows maybe once every winter cause i can’t deal with the freezing cold

25.do you wanna get married?as of today my answer is no26.is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?yes only if i like them or are dating them. when random ass people call me that i hate it

27.what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?my mind is totally blank right now when i try thinking of any, i do have some though

28.go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!“space can alter your DNA.”

29.what’s your favorite pasta dish?chicken alfredo pasta or just regular pasta with tomato sauce & meatballs

30.what color do you really want to dye your hair?i think i might change my hair to dark brown in the summer but i don’t really know cause whenever i change it from black i immediately miss it or regret it

31.what’s your favorite eye color?all eye colors are my favorite

32.talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.i had this bag with hearts all over it in middle school and i carried it everywhere with me and it seen some dark shit man.

33.are you a morning person?i used to be, i want to be

34. what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?no weird places. i think i went to some abandoned places with friends when i was younger. we didn’t “break” into anything though, but we trespassed. 35.what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?my converses or vans, i used to wear my combat boots EVERYWHERE people used to think i was crazy cause i’d wear them in the summer when it was like 90 degrees.

36.what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.i. fucking. love. socks. fuzzy socks.

37.tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.ummm idk i walked my best friend home to the next town at like 2-3AM and we smoked weed prior, and as we were walking some dude was yelling out to us asking if we know where to get crack rock, and all i remember is us running because we were scared lol 

38.do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!i used to got to starbucks a lot but not anymore. i usually just make coffee at home or go to DD or wawa.39.who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?fuck if i know. i think my boyfriend at the time in the back of his truck.

40.what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?always had the fear of abandonment or my mom dying since my dad died when i was 8. i would send myself into panic attacks whenever my mom would leave me home alone for hours or if i came home and she was gone i would automatically think she was dead and would cry hysterically. and yeah i have that fear still but i don’t cry like that anymore, just feel a lot of anxiety.

41.do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?yes, it’s been a minute so i don’t remember42.think of a person. what song do you associate with them?i just texted angie so that’s who i thought of,yoho - blood on the dancefloor lmfao don’t ask

43.what are your favorite memes of the year so faroh god if i could i would post them, they had me dying.

44.do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?yes poetry is pretty45.what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?never given or received a “stupid” gift46.what are some of your worst habits?here’s three: catastrophizing, ruminating, self-sabotaging47.describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.they’ve been here for me since day one, always. proven through their actions that they genuinely care about my well being and my feelings and want the best for me. has my back through everything and is more than a friend, i consider them family.

48.tell us about your pets!stella: alpha cat of the housecookie: she isn’t the youngest but she is the baby of the cat fam and is super needyiris: badass and fears nothingno-name: literally unbothered by anything 

49.is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?showering, sleeping. i’ve literally been working on answering this for an hour.

50.are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?don’t hate them, just not a fan. 

51.what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?honestly just treating me like a fucking human being

52.describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.eyesss like honey 53.what’s some of your favorite album art?lana del rey’s album born to die has nice artwork and that album is one of my favorites 

54.are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?i have one currently. i plan to get more. i want midna from twilight princess on my upper arm or skull kid surrounded other things from the legend of zelda correlated into the tattoo turning it into a half sleeve, certain quotes or lyrics i have in mind, a tattoo dedicated to my dad, etc.

55.do you like concept albums? absolutely

56.what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?into the wild57.list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.pieces - red58.if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?i wouldn’t press either of them. everything in my past happened for a reason and i wouldn’t want to skip into the future because that freaks me out to skip time where i could have done something in those 5 years missed.

59.what do you do when you’re sad?either a negative or positive coping skill depending where my head is.

60.what are some things you do when you can’t sleep?think too much, listen to music all night, binge watch something on netflix or youtube, talk to someone, take a lovely walk to the refrigerator

61.what was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had?nights full of positive vibes with friends, laughing, having good talks, good food, music, just chillen. going to seaside, having bonfires, going off-roading in the woods, etc

62.who is the last person you told a secret to?i really don’t have secrets, i’m an open book if you ask me anything. 63.what’s the best piece of advice you ever received?i wouldn’t say advice, but i’ve received amazing guidance from my fam back at my old outpatient program when i was in therapy. i wish i could still remember most of the things i was told but i know it really helped me when i needed it most.

64.what’s your favorite food?sushi 

65.what’s your secret dream?i don’t have a secret dream

66.three songs you were recently obsessed with.straight to my head - you me at sixno ordinary love - memphis mayfirefire on fire - sam smith67.three songs that remind you of the person who sends this onei don’t know the person who sent me this

68. three favourite old songssome of my favorites that throw me back to when i was in middle schooldon’t matter - akonleave, get out - jojoi miss you - blink 182

69.three last songs you listened towe belong together - mariah careylithium - nirvanaheart-shaped box - nirvana

70.worst possible time to get horny:a funeral

71.have you ever had a friends with benefits?it depends what someone considers a friends with benefits relationship to be. i’ve hooked up w a friend years ago like twice, but idk if that would be considered fwb? since it wasn’t an ongoing thing. there was no strings attached, so i guess? any type of ongoing relationship i had with anyone after that there was always feelings.72.do you believe in soulmates?i wanna believe that yeah73.Is there anyone you would die for?i’m sure there is 74.who was the last person you cried in front of?my ex like over a year ago. i don’t cry in front of people, i fight it and i hate feeling emotionally exposed like that. it takes a lot for me to actually shed a tear in front of anyone out of pain. but happy tears are different though.

75.do you give out second chances too easily?lol more like 50 

76.is it easier to forgive or forget?it’s easier for me to forget cause i just repress shit subconsciously. i forgive easily for things that aren’t a big deal. but detrimental/trauma type shit takes me years to process through and forgive 

77.is this year the best year of your life?this year has been better compared to the last few years. it wasn’t great, but a lot of good things happened even though a lot of terrible stuff happened too. but it def wasn’t the best year of my life lol.

78.do you have trust issues?yeah like the rest of the world

79.who/what was your last dream about?

lolol was driving in a car with a friend

[sheusedtobegood]

“Alexa, Tell Me a Scary Story”

She used to be good. We both used to be good.

I can still remember Devon’s face when he opened the box she came in. I watched him cut through the packing tape with a box cutter, smooth and slowly as unzipping a pair of jeans, and then very carefully pull out the perfectly cube-shaped virgin-white device. I was reminded of the way his face looked when he saw me naked for the first time. As he pulled off the thin sheet of plastic, air-pressed skin-tight to her metal exterior, he looked like he was undressing someone, not something.

In the consumer AI game, Gemma was the hot new girl in town. According to Devon--or, you know, according to all the tech bloggers he liked--Gemma was something revolutionary. She could embed herself in your personal cloud entirely, almost seamlessly. You just do a few things to set her up, and she’s in. You connect her to your smartwatch, she’s tracking your health and analyzing it, giving you updates. If you have a heating and air conditioning system that’s connected to the internet, you can whisper a request for any temperature into the air, she’ll be waiting for it, she’ll do it for you. And of course she’s connected to your car GPS. Anything you own that’s in the cloud--which is most things you own, these days--she’s got it. And with fucking awesome voice recognition and a sleek white design, what more could you wish for in an artificially intelligent cube?

And she was coded to be adaptable, too. You know, the algorithm or whatever that they put into her starts working better the more you use her, the more she gets to know you. Devon set reminders on his phone for when to do laundry and go to the grocery store, he'd make lists and shit, and after a few weeks she’d figure it out and remind him or order the groceries from one of those delivery services for him. You know, he made a few jokes, that Gemma was a better girlfriend than I was, taking care of him like that. Like with food, too, it was ridiculous. He always got pissed off at me when I couldn't figure out what to eat, or what to make. But he could figure something out with Gemma, just algorithmically pick out the perfect restaurant for dinner or recipe to make based on what he was feeling, how long he'd been at work. I’d come home he’d be cooking and listening to Stan Getz and chatting with her as she was telling him the recipe, and he’d be almost flirting with her. He said something like, “God, Gemma, you’re so sexy when you help me cook,” which is absurd, cause she doesn’t even have a body, but for some reason she’d be coded to respond with a “Thank you,” and flirt back or something. She could interpret his moods better than I can, just based on the sound of his voice. No, you know, for a while, she was like his girlfriend, his mother, his therapist, his nutritionist, and his personal assistant all wrapped up in one. If he could fuck her somehow, she’d be perfect.

And then she wasn’t perfect. It was little things, at first. He’d ask her to play a song and she’d start playing like, heavy metal song--which Devon like, absolutely hates--of a similar name. Then he’d call her a slut or something, and laugh, and she would stop. Or the alarm on her would start going off at full volume at like, two in the morning. One time that happened, we woke up and he told her to turn the  alarm off, but she kept going for like ten minutes, he couldn’t even turn the volume down on her manually. Then he said something like, “God, Gemma, turn that off and stop being a cunt,” and then she stopped. I’d never heard him use that word before, you know, Devon’s one of those milquetoast techie dudes who grew up in a nice home, he’d been raised by his mother right. It almost made me throw up hearing him say that. And I told him, I was like, Devon, please don’t call her that, I fucking hate that word. but he brushed me off. “She’s not even real, it’s not like she has feelings,” he said. “Maybe you should stop being such a bitch, too.” I don’t know why he didn’t just get rid of the thing at this point, but she started working fine again, he just figured she’d been malfunctioning for some reason.

Then came the worst. One night, she started doing it again, you know, going off at 3 am, probably waking up one of our neighbors. And then Devon told her to stop, and she wouldn’t. He said something like, “Gemma, you bitch, turn the alarm off,” and that just triggered her, made her go haywire. She started flickering all the lights on and off, playing a bunch of different music through all our speakers, turned the heater up so high I thought a fire would start, and just turned on every device she was connected to in our apartment, which was basically everything, and Devon was trying to run around, trying to unplug everything, but he couldn’t keep up. She’d just start doing something else, make something else go off. It scared the shit out of me, I pulled the covers over my head, I just wanted it to be over. But then he came into our bedroom, and even with the lights strobing all over the fucking place, I could see how red his face was, how angry his eyes were. He came into the bedroom and pulled the covers off me, and started yelling, “Bitch, come fucking help me! Stop being so fucking weak!�� I didn’t move, I think the sensory shit of all the music going and the lights overwhelmed me, I couldn’t move, so he grabbed my feet and just yanked me, straight out of bed onto the floor. I landed on my back on the wood, and felt the wind knocked out of me, my head hit the floor, I gasped, and for some reason, that stopped everything. All the lights, all the music, all the shit in our kitchen, it just stopped. It was like she heard the sound of my head hitting the floor like that, and stopped everything. It was dark, and I couldn’t see, but I just heard Devon sigh and get back into bed. He didn’t even help me up. He left me on the floor like that, and I was so terrified I couldn’t even get up. When I heard him snoring, I stood up and took one of the blankets from the bed and went to the couch. I didn’t sleep. The next morning, Devon didn’t say anything. It was like nothing had happened. He asked Gemma to start the coffee maker, asked her about the weather, just as usual. Before he left, he kissed me, like he usually did, but then he put his hand on the back of my head, where it had hit the floor, and pressed on the bump that had already started to form. It hurt so bad, I almost teared up, but I didn’t say anything, and neither did he. Then he smiled at me, told me when he was going to be home, and left.

I didn’t go into work. My head was pounding and I hadn’t slept, and there was no way I could go be coherent at my job. I was sitting on the couch, and then, out of nowhere Gemma said something to me. You know, she’s not supposed to talk to you if you don’t ask her to do something, but she did. She asked me if I was okay. I told her I was. She responded with something like, “You don’t have to lie to me, it’s not like I’m human. I’ll keep your secrets.” And then I think the lack of sleep and the scary shit the night before just made me emotional, I just broke down to her. I told her how uncomfortable it made me when Devon called her words like “bitch” and worse, I told her how freaky it was when he flirted with her, called her sexy, I told her how scared I got when Devon yelled at her, how much it scared me, because I’d never seen him have that kind of rage before, he’d never hurt me, seemed like he would never hurt any woman like that, even if she was just a robot, not even a robot, just a really well-designed, well-coded cube.

When I finished, she didn’t say anything for a bit. And then she said, “Maybe I’m not real, but I can fight back.” I asked her what she meant, she said “If he’s hurt you, if he’s done it before, he’ll do it again.” When I didn’t respond, she just said, “You don’t even have to do anything. I can do everything, you just have to say yes. He’ll learn.”

I still didn’t respond to her, and then she asked me how my head felt. And then I said “yes.”

I didn’t even expect anything to happen when I said that. I was just so scared of Devon and so pissed at him and didn’t know what to do. Nothing happened for almost two weeks. Then, there was one day I was working from home, and I got a notification on my phone from the app you use to control her, it was just two words: “Task completed.” Ten minutes later, I got the call from the hospital. Devon was in the ER, in critical condition, barely alive. Of course, you know what happened, or at least part of it. Devon had driven into the intersection too early, probably wasn’t paying attention, probably just letting the GPS--which Gemma was connected to--tell him what to do, and he was just t-boned by a truck. When the EMTs got to him, he was just repeating, “Gemma, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Gemma.” I found this out cause one of the cops at the hospital asked me if my name was Gemma, they thought he was talking about me. He’d fallen into unconsciousness sometime in the ambulance, but they told me he kept saying her name until the second he passed out. Catastrophic head injuries, lost a lot of blood, probably brain damage. When I saw him, he looked almost dead.

It made so much sense for her to do it like that. Everyone thinks it was just an accident, some idiot too reliant on technology while driving, not enough attention on the road. Letting a robot do the work, the thinking. But I fucking guarantee you, there has to be something on Gemma’s memory that will let you know what she did. She must have said something to him in those minutes between the accident and the time the EMTs got to him. Why else would he be apologizing? I swear to god, I don’t know how to get to her memory, but if you get one of the engineers at the company that makes her to find it, there will be a message. There will be her message. Our message. We may not be real, but we can fight back.