#I just noticed the tears in Kudou's eyes STOP THIS

[codenamesazanka]

thoughts on the latest leaks ?

Sorry for taking so long to reply, but I wanted to want until the official translation was out before saying anything definitive!

So, all my thoughts:

-> Remember when Yoichi about 100+ chapters ago spoke of Shigaraki Tomura as a 'boy' and 'child' that AFO was taking advantage of, that he was raised to be filled with hatred and anger (Chapter 287, 305)? And people thought that Yoichi, as like, the first victim raised by AFO himself, would of course be one of the people to sympathize with Shigaraki Tomura?

Of course, now Yoichi's all in on facing the "mighiest villain, with armor forged from untold malice and hatred", to put a stop to his evil acts, because this is the reason for One For All to have existed for so long. Shigaraki is essentially the same as AFO, and saving Shigaraki has turned into 'let's see how much and hard we can punch this guy to literally break down his psychological walls until he throws up the right tragic backstory for Deku to truly care' so that luckily, that doesn't technically contradict what Deku said of OFA as a power to save (not kill).

It's really unfortunate that Yoichi has sorta turned into a character that does/is what's most convenient for storytelling. He's the Pure Goodness to AFO's Innate Evil, so that we can't totally blame the twin's horrific childhood environment for why AFO turned out so bad, some babies are just born that way; he's there to be fridged for both AFO and Kudou, so much so that his most significant speech in the flashback chapters is about wishing how AFO used his power for good is a flashback-within-the-flashback from AFO and Kudou to jump start their journeys of being One For All Chain and All For One; he's got nothing to say about the 'lump of lead' so Kudou can be the one to notice it and get his cool strategy and sacrifice moment;

and now he's just saying things about ~Evil~ to hype up the attack on Shigaraki (his brother's victim) as an amazing thing... because it will allow Deku to dig out the foundational cruelty AFO forced onto Shigaraki, presumably so Shigaraki can regress to a five-year-old and cry about it, and Deku will step up all heroic to dry his tears.

-> I am happy to see memories of USJ Shigaraki. <3 Him about to disintegrate Tsuyu. <3 Him working with A+++ coordination with Kurogiri. <3 The original Noumu. <3

-> Shigaraki Tomura's will being so strong that he can reject being given OFA. I love him so, so, so much.

-> Judging by the clothes that giant memory Tenko is wearing - gray shirt, dark pants - it does take place on the same day that Tenko's memories starts in Chapter 235, when a stranger in a nice suit took Tenko home.

-> 'AFO gave Tenko Decay' theory is a separate post.

-> It's a pointless, losing battle, but I will still roll my eyes at how we had to cut to La Brava just for her to talk about how cool Deku is, for throwing her boyfriend into jail and turning him into a better person. Gentle already had a heart that beat for others, La Brava! Deku helped him realize this, but the decision to surrender and atone was all Gentle.

[gisachi]

Better late than never?? Supposed to post on the day itself but of course I couldn’t. This is my rushed contribution to the prompt: domestic mixed with black knight&princess.

ShinRan Week Day 6

Prompt: Domestic (+ Black Knight&Princess)

Words: ~2.5k

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“Not just once, but twice! Who was it that saved my life again? Oh, unnamed knight with the black cloak, if you will grant me my wish… Please take off that dark mask and show me your true face!”

“If that is what, uh, the princess wishes, I shall show you my sorrow- sorrowful? - face under this moonlight. Oh wow this is cheesy.”

Ran leans on the arm of the couch, bound script covering her resigned face. If she had a hundred yen for every single complaint coming out of this detective’s mouth, she’d have enough to buy two entrance passes to Tropical Land for each day of the week, plus snacks and drinks.

“I went here because I thought you’d be a more immersive practice partner than ‘tou-san. You are worse.”

“I’m sorry, princess, if my mom being an actress ruined your expectations of me.”

“Oh, for sure. And otou-san doesn't destroy the scene by dropping nonsensical comments. And lie on the couch while reading the script. So he’s better by a lot.”

Shinichi props his body up, eyes rolling sarcastically before throwing a look at the lady on the edge. “To be fair, you came barging into my house so early on a Sunday. This is justified.”

“Shinichi, eleven in the morning isn’t early.”

With a stubborn grumble, the detective flops back into the cushions, script on his lap sliding to the floor. “ ’M tired Ran, long case last night, let me sleep.”

“Please, you’re my last option! School festival is in less than two weeks, and I can’t possibly ask Araide-sensei to spare time on a weekend outside of our rehearsal schedule when he’s busy working—”

The lightning speed Shinichi jolts upright causes Ran to cut herself short. “Araide-sensei is the cloaked knight?”

“Yes, didn’t I tell you?”

“You didn’t.”

“Really? I-” she pauses, delayed in taking in the curt iciness of his response when he was so apathetic five seconds ago. On anyone else it’s clear what that tone implies, but she’s never heard it on him.

“Do you have a beef with Araide-sensei?” she asks.

“A beef?”

Ran arches an eyebrow, skeptic. Shinichi meets her gaze, eyes slightly thinning before glancing away, cheeks crimson.

“I mean— Why Araide-sensei? Shouldn’t he be busy, I dunno, being a doctor, than being a fictional knight or something.”

“All the guys in our class were too shy and declined, so Sonoko asked Araide-sensei when he happened to come in for a checkup. He agreed so easily! Would you believe he’d taken a lot of lead roles in plays when he was a student?”

“And that was fifteen something years ago.”

“He’s also good at things like emphasizing lines and handling a woman!”

“Anyone can- What?!”

“Stop being a sourpuss Shinichi, especially when you’re the first to decline.”

He looks at her quizzically. “I did?”

“You don’t even remember?” Amidst the faint pink on her cheeks, disappointment etched on the way Ran’s lips curve to a small pout. “You were the first Sonoko asked... You were so quick to turn her down, she said.”

Astounded by the revelations docking in his brain all at once, Shinichi struggles to recall the conversations he had exchanged with Sonoko the past weeks. None stands out. If she had included Ran’s name in there, he would remember instantly. But Sonoko didn’t. Suddenly, the floodgates in his mind open.

If he finds out later on about the plot and the cast, he’ll definitely find a reason or two to sulk, if not object. Whether Ran is partnered with someone else or Araide-sensei doesn’t matter, for as long as it isn’t him. Him who she’s positive would outright reject her offer to act as a prince because why would he? In any case, god knows Sonoko omitted Ran’s name on purpose for this.

The sly woman has stirred something up, and she will proudly take the front row seat on his reaction she was so sure he’d make.

Not saying Sonoko’s predictions are right. This is just how she thinks. And he won’t react the way she expects he will. She is not right.

Not. Right.

Sonoko, yaro...

“Stand up, let’s do this.”

“Huh?”

“You want immersive? I’ll give you immersive.”

Left with little time to process as Shinichi pulls her by the hand, Ran drops her script on the floor. The sudden shift in character is unbelievable. How can someone so sleep-deprived turn into someone this enthused in a span of a breath?

“But first, let me…” He leaves the room, and Ran picks up her script, still quite lost. Whatever she said earlier must have triggered something, and she’s torn if she’ll ask once he returns but considers the possibility that he may break character. Not gonna risk that. He said he’ll give her an immersive practice, and it’s oddly unexpected, but she’ll take it. This is good. After all, she needs him as the knight.

Wants him as the knight.

“Sheesh, Ran, stop…” Shying away from her own maidenly thoughts, Ran flips to the designated page, scene, and line, rehearsing as she waits.

Some minutes later, Shinichi reappears, holding his script and something else. Of all things she would expect him to own, a blue fancy Columbina mask adorned with elegant silver and royal patterns wasn’t one of them.

“Mom has these things, okay,” he explains, putting it on. Ran isn’t sure if she wants to laugh or tease, but she does neither when she gets a glimpse of him with half of his face covered, and she catches her breath at the sight.

Standing against silk red curtains and brilliant glow of afternoon sunlight, he really does seem like a mysterious knight…

“Don’t laugh, idiot. After doing this for you. Wear this,” he says, and Ran zeroes in on the line of his lips because she has nowhere else to look at as he places a small barrette tiara on her hair. Doesn’t matter what he says, what they wear, even if they fail to match the daintiness of the mask and tiara. Shinichi with this on makes Shinichi as the knight much more vivid now. And Ran as the princess...

“Sorry!” She claps a hand on her warming cheek, pulls back a dumb smile she doesn’t notice she is wearing. “And I— I wasn’t laughing!”

“Still smiling creepily though.”

“I wasn’t being creepy! Geez. Anyway! Page-”

“Page 27, Scene 8, Line 10. Got it.”

After some short blocking instructions, they drop their scripts on the couch, and begin.

“Oh, unnamed knight with the black cloak, if you will grant me my wish… Please take off that dark mask and show me your true face!”

“If that is what the princess wishes, I shall show you my sorrowful face under this moonlight.”

Two steps forward and he removes the mask, and time slows down. She’s seen the same face a million times yet this time, her heart leaps like she’s laid eyes upon the most handsome face in the universe.

“Might—Might you be Spade?” She carries on, taking everything she can to maintain composure. “Long ago, you were banned from this land by my father… but now you’ve become the prince of Trump Kingdom...”

It’s nerve wracking, the way he’s strikingly still, eyes laden on her, either waiting for her next lines or admiring how beautiful she is with the tiara, she isn’t quite sure. The mask is gone, but he isn’t breaking character. Meanwhile, she’s trying her darned best to stay as Princess Heart of Bridge Kingdom.

“If you have… not forgotten about our childhood promise, then please…”

A nervous lump forms in her throat as she wraps her arms around his shoulders, and his hands find her waist, and she nearly gasps but holds it in because right now, she’s Princess Heart, not Mouri Ran asking this of Kudou Shinichi. “Please, show me on these lips.”

“As my princess so desires...”

It should be ‘the’, not ‘my.’ And there’s supposed to be another line after that, but nothing stops him as he leans in ahead of time and her eyelids flutter to the erratic beat of her heart. It’s better to be partnered with Araide-sensei in this after all. He will not mess up his lines, and she will not lose her mind the way she’s losing it now.

Two parted lips are a pucker away when the doorbell chimes, making both jolt.

Ran is first to snap out of character, as if she hasn’t had the urge to earlier.

“That—That must be Sonoko. I forgot to tell you...  I invited her in.”

“Oh, great,” Shinichi says.

Forcing her limbs into working order, Ran disentangles slowly, drawing a distance. Shinichi glances at the mask in his hand, then at her, before tossing it to the couch and turning for the door. From the window, she watches him walk to the front gate, scratching the back of his head in an annoyed manner like she just woke him from sleep, but grumpier. She hasn’t seen him display much emotion on a Sunday noon the way she’s seeing him now.

Maybe I shouldn’t have bothered him, she sighs, her turn to slump onto the couch this time.

-

“As I was saying, the prod already scouted the finest material for the costumes, and I decided, pink suits Princess Heart— Hello? Are you listening?”

Ran nearly drops the knife she holds if not for her inhuman reflexes. “Of course! Princess Heart in pink! Yes.” Like nothing happened, she resumes slathering jam and butter on the toast she’s preparing for the three of them. She doesn’t need to look at her side to know Sonoko’s eyeing her from head to toe.

“What happened to her?” The woman turns to Shinichi who sits at the high stool by the kitchen island.

“Dunno,” he says, sounding as noncommittal as he probably appears. Her back is turned against him, but she can see his face, and god why is she blushing?

“I just helped her rehearse. For the play,” he adds.

“Oh?” Sonoko’s brow perks up her forehead, hair whipping as she turns between her and the boy across them. “Did you?”

“Yup. Page 27.”

The dramatic gasp that tears from their friend’s throat is exactly the kind of gasp they expected; even so, Ran still flinches as Shinichi’s stool rakes the floor. “You kissed and I didn’t see?!”

“Hah?!”

“No!”

The two yelp in unison.

“That’s sly! You have to do it again! I’ll judge.”

“Excuse you! It didn’t happen, what you’re thinking!”

“Sonokooo!”

“Oh, shush, Ran, this is good practice. Good practice.”

“But—”

“Relax, rehearsal is rehearsal! In the actual play, once it’s Araide-sensei, he’ll do a better job—”

“I’m going to the toilet,” Shinichi gets off the stool, jaw stiff, out of the kitchen.

“—with a hug than a kiss. Right?” Sonoko ends, once Shinichi is out of the room.

“What?” Ran’s expression is inscrutable as she faces Sonoko completely, the flush across her face befitting embarrassment or ire. “You’re losing me here!”

“Oh, you’re not going to kiss, Ran. The lights will dim before your lips touch.”

“Then why—” she puts down the bread and walks in haste to the island to flip through the script, “Wh— That’s not in here!”

“Sonoko-sama hereby deems the script revised now that we have Araide-sensei.”

“Eh...?!” Ran cannot explain the play of her reactions. On one hand, a cloud is cleared from her mind, having to worry no more about doing something she has no experience with in front of watchful eyes. On the other, bunch of half-formed thoughts whirl through her mind that goes, Shinichi and I almost kissed for nothing, for nothing we almost k-kissed, an almost kiss with Shinichi, almost—

“That won’t do! I mean— That’s so not you! T-To choose a hug over a...”

“Duh, Ran! Even if it’s just a play, I won’t enable a kiss scene between a student and a staff member. We can fake the kiss. That, or switch to hug. Or better yet, change the male lead.”

“Change the male lead? In two weeks? Who will agree?!”

“Easy.” Just in time, Shinichi returns, hands in pocket and long face worn all the way to the stool.  “I know someone who will.”

-

‘Once it’s Araide-sensei, he’ll do a better job…’ What? Kissing Ran? Shinichi wants to puke. Sonoko needs to think things through. If this is part of her plan, it’s unacceptable, it sucks.

There’s no way, no way anyone can do a better job kissing Ran than…

“Aaaargh, what are you thinking!” He ruffles his hair in dismay, curses here and there. He only wanted to help Ran yet he almost went for it. Not as Spade but as himself. The audacity. It’s part of the script, sure, but—

If it is part of the script, then have Ran and Araide-sensei rehearsed it before?

“That’s it,” Shinichi huffs, storming out of the bathroom. If this is the kind of reaction Sonoko wants from him, she’s in for a show. Not just a show but a lifetime of curses and mental stabs. For her to go this far is unbelievable. Did Ran even agree to that? Will such a scene really happen in the play? No matter how despicable Sonoko’s methods are, he has faith she respects Ran’s preference as the female lead. No offense against Araide-sensei, but he cannot take Ran’s first kiss, whether as Spade or not.

That is not to say he knows Ran’s preference, especially when it comes to a first kiss, but… it’s not... Araide-sensei... is it?!

He cannot ascertain, not when Ran did nothing when they were about to kiss…

Okay, halt there, self. I said immersive. That’s immersive. She was acting.

All was but an act. She’s a great actress. I suck. No need to make this a big deal.

Shinichi is a pitiful mess once he’s back in the kitchen.

“My offer still stands, you know.” Sonoko sits beside him, munching a toast, while Ran is busy returning the jam in the cupboard, back against them.

“Your offer?”

Shinichi glances at Ran, then at Sonoko, with that feral grin on her lips and Shinichi does a bad job looking pissed, and it’s maddening because he is pissed, just not obvious with the blush forming across his cheek.

Reprimanding Sonoko is what he intends to do. For doing him dirty, him and Ran dirty, for dragging a staff to be the male lead, for imploring Ran to give her first kiss she’s probably saving in a different setting. All invalid reasons, when he cared less about the play before. He’s a full-time idiot, and Sonoko knows it clearly that’s why she’s offering the role again. He doesn’t want to fall into her trap, the same way he doesn’t want anyone else to be Spade when Princess Heart is Ran.

But Ran looks over her shoulder and they accidentally lock eyes, and pink blooms across her cheeks before she turns around, and suddenly the words that leave his mouth completely betray the thought process he underwent in the bathroom.

“If Ran agrees, yeah,” he says.

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[tineechi]

Kono Oto Tomare Chapter 93 English Summary

https://raw.senmanga.com/Kono-Oto-Tomare!/093

Sooo... Sorry for the delay. The Japanese raw chapter was released a few days before in Baidu but I was so busy and lazy at the same time. T_T

Standard non-native Japanese speaker disclaimers apply.

The chapter is entitled 'Anxious/worried child' and starts off with Keishi cooking in the Doujima house's kitchen. He tastes his dish, declares it delicious and calls for Akira and their grandmother.

On the table, Akira says that the miso soup is delicious. Keishi happily tells them that he tried changing the dashi stock and checks with Akira if she likes this taste. Akira says "Yes. I like it." He asks "Grandma?" and Grandma seriously answers with "A little bit dark..." (I think she meant the color of the soup. Miso soup is usually clear but I think Keishi's dish may be more opaque than usual. Correct me if I'm wrong.)

Akira changes the topic and asks how Sakai-kun is doing. He tells her that he is doing good and trying his best. Keishi also says that Mittsu can now concentrate better than when her mother was not yet discharged from the hospital (She's still in rehabilitation though).

The scene shows their past practice where Keishi points out that Mittsu needs more volume on a specific part and Mittsu says that Akira-sensei has also pointed that out. He then continues on to say that his fingers (not having enough strength) is why he still couldn't play it.

Keishi tries to assure him by saying that he firmly has the basics in him but Mittsu is still a little unsure. Keishi sits beside him and "borrows" his hand. Keishi tries to show Mittsu how to do it by placing his hand over Mittsu's and showing him the movements. He explains that "You might get it if you experience it once". Keishi holds Mittsu's finger and shows him the direction to pluck the strings while saying "My way of playing it..."

Mittsu is surprised and enlightened. Mittsu says "Oh. It is like this?" Keishi clarifies that their posture is a bit different (because Keishi is sitting beside Mittsu and not sitting like he is actually playing the Koto) but the direction is kind of like that. Mittsu is astounded and says "Amazing!"

Mittsu continues to be super happy and amazed. He says that a wonderful sound came out and that he's using the same koto and nails as before but with this motion, the sound came out beautifully. Mittsu also says that he wouldn't forget the feeling just now and tries to copy the motion again and again. Keishi looks touched by Mittsu's genuine happiness.

Keishi finishes recounting that experience to Akira while saying "I was about to cry that time." Akira smiles and says that Sakai-kun's sound has really been improving lately. Keishi energetically agrees with her like a proud brother. HAHAHAHA. Akira tells Keishi that "After all, I am very glad that I asked older brother for this." Keishi is surprised and drops bits of rice from his chopsticks. Tears just falling from his eyes like a waterfall. XD

Keishi asks "Can I squeeze/hug you?" and Akira says "No!" :D

Grandma stubbornly makes a sound like "Hmph!" and stands up after eating her meal. Keishi asks if she is already done and Grandma says that she did not return to this house to hear them talk like that/talk about those things. Grandma tells Akira that she returned because she was worried when Akira said that she wants to rebuild the Tsubaki group. She asks them "What are you two doing? Taking care/looking after such amateurs (Tokise kids)?"

Akira and Keishi look at each other and Keishi jokingly says "Grandma also...would you like to come and teach?" Grandma shows an angry and scary face and Keishi takes it back immediately and apologizes.

Grandma resignedly says "Jeez...from a long time ago, you two..." She turns her back on them, and says "If you can afford to teach other people, why not try playing a song at a concert?" and leaves the room.

Keishi asks "Just now... was that referring to me?" Akira answers with "It's only about big brother, right?" (Because Keishi's the only one who stopped performing with the Koto. Hahaha)

Akira laughs and says that Grandma really isn't honest. She says that it looks like somehow big brother got involved in the Koto again and that makes her happy. Keishi smiles at her and jokes about the miso soup.

Keishi becomes serious for a moment, asks about the club and if it’s going smoothly. Akira tries to explain that it is a challenging song and that they're really having a bit of a difficult time. Keishi agrees but tries to say "but other than that..." but Akira interrupts by saying that there's still a bit of anxiousness and worry (As far as I understand, she mentions that there is still an anxious child. But I might be wrong. It might be an idiom or a common expression but I just assume that some club members are still unsure how to play their parts. Please correct me Native speaker-san.)

The scene changes to Momoya and Atsumu in the classroom. Atsumu is super excited in telling Momoya about what Kudou-senpai has said. Momoya looks a little bored listening but Atsumu continues with "And then... after that...". Momoya interrupts and tries to say "Yoshinaga...you don't need to report everything to me." Atsumu is shocked, feels a bit embarrassed and looks down while saying "Ahhh... I..It was annoying huh?" Momoya looks a bit guilty and tries to rein it in by saying something along the lines of "It's hard to do that, right?" (Meaning it might be hard for Atsumu to do that for him.)

Atsumu becomes excited again and says "Not at all!/It's defintely okay!" HAHAHAHA. (The interaction between these two will kill me. XD) Atsumu continues by showing Momoya a notebook that he writes on about what happens in the club and what every one has been talking about. (Talk about diligence and passion. Sheeesh this Atsumu boy! :D) Momoya reacts with "Uwa!"

Atsumu says that if Momoya wants to ask anything about the club, he can ask him. Momoya says "Well... Thanks..." then thinks to himself that Atsumu has bad handwriting. LOL

Momoya is a bit astonished because there was an entry written in the notebook about Momoya saying that they need to play more in the classic style. Atsumu writes in the first person perspective and notes that only his sound is 'floating'. Also, Momoya saying that playing according to the musical score is the start line (meaning... every one needs to know how to play the correct way as a basic skill. Then they have to improve their playing from that point on.)

Atsumu says that he didn't think before that music can be that deep but he thinks that Momoya is great because he knew about that. Momoya tries to disagree and says that he does not know about it that much. Atsumu insists otherwise and says that he was listening to music everyday and then it was like he suddenly understood (I think he meant about how Chika had an epiphany and explained how to play music from the last chapter. Atsumu uses a phrase I'm not sure about. 目からウロコ - I think it's scales from the eyes falling suddenly or kind of like genuinely understanding/seeing something. Correct me if I'm wrong.)

Momoya thinks for a few seconds and asks "You listen to music every day?". Atsumu smiles and says that "Yes, I do." and that he likes his grandfather's music very much. He also listens to anime songs, special effect songs and character songs too. Momoya says "Character songs..." and Atsumu embarrassingly says "Umm.. right... Momoya-kun doesn't listen to those kind of songs..." Momoya answers with "Well... I don't know much about it..."

Then Momoya says "If you have any performances/songs that you recommend, send the titles to me through LINE." Atsumu is surprised and clarifies "My recommendations?" and Momoya answers with "Who else's?"

Atsumu looks super happy, pulls out his phone and says "I'll send them. I'll send them right away." Hahaha. Momoya tries to say "It's okay if you don't send it right away."

While typing, Atsumu's hands are shaking and he keeps thinking that it's the first time that he's sending recommendations to Momoya. He is a bit teary-eyed and he says that "Looks like a friend." (Feels like a conversation between friends) out loud. Momoya is a little shocked and Atsumu covers his mouth, thinking "Oh no! I said that out loud/my voice came out." Atsumu tries to say sorry in a very panicked way and thinks to himself that Momoya definitely thinks that what he said was annoying.

They are interrupted because the class is about to start and Momoya turns to face the blackboard (with his back to Atsumu). Atsumu is still a bit troubled by the situation and Momoya is thinking to himself that this is a bit troublesome. He is thinking that it's not just about making it sound classical when they play. He thinks that when they play as an ensemble, Yoshinaga's sound is usually 'floating' and no one tells him that it is that way. Because no one calls him out for it, it becomes normal and he keeps playing the same way.

Momoya pulls out his phone and reads the Line message from Atsumu saying that he'll send the recommended titles.

Momoya continues to think that he can't say anything even if he notices. It is probably a sound quality issue and maybe Atsumu (he refers to him as Yoshinaga here) is not skilled/dexterous enough to make changes to his sound even if he informs him.

The scene changes to the practice and the four of them are playing as an ensemble. Momoya hears Atsumu's sound and notices the difference immediately. They finish the parts and Kota is happily asking Atsumu if he felt that it was good that time. Atsumu also happily says that he feels the same way.

Chika doesn't really look happy and says that it was "their best so far but..."

Kota asks "But?..." and Chika says that it's like it's not refreshing enough. It feels like it's not good enough.

Seriously, Momoya says "Mizuhara-senpai and Yoshinaga are still cheating a bit." Both of them react with "Eh?!" Kota says "I'm not cheating though." Atsumu also say "I also am not doing something like that."

Momoya, with a funny face, says that that means more problem for him.

Kota asks about the part that he did wrong and Momoya answers with "Well.. No.. it's not like it's a mistake specifically."

The he tries to explain something along the lines of "the best place for the pauses/places without the sounds". (Hihihi, it's very technical so I'm not too sure but I think he is referring to the way you put the pauses when you play the song. It has to have meaning to make it more evocative. Correct me if I'm wrong.)

Momoya continues on to explain that Mizuhara-senpai is probably listening to the other’s sounds too much. Because of that, his timing is delayed. On the other hand, Yoshinaga's issue is his basic impatience. He is usually staying ahead/ in front in terms of timing.

They're all surprised and Kota is panicking a bit. Hihihi. Chika asks if that is all. Momoya asks "Eh?" and Chika tries to explain that "Well.. No.. I can't say it properly... but the atmosphere/mood of the sound, is jerky/bouncy/shaky...It is not just about the timing gaps/differences only." Momoya is surprised and Chika looks at him seriously and asks "You understand what I'm saying, right?" Momoya thinks about it, then peeks at Atsumu for a bit (Atsumu notices this. I think he understands that the issue is with his playing.) and Momoya thinks "This is bad..." to himself.

Atsumu asks him directly "Is it me?" and Momoya tries to say no but he remembers Kota saying that it is okay to not hesitate and tell them things honestly. Atsumu seriously tells him "Say it." Momoya is shocked and Atsumu continues to say "If there is anything, say it/tell me." Momoya tells him "Yoshinaga's sound is floating. The sound quality doesn't match the surroundings/other sounds. It's probably the reason why the atmosphere/mood of the sound is jerky/shaky." (referring to how Chika described it before.)

Kota asks how exactly can you match sound quality and Momoya answers that it is not really simple/easy to match sound quality that's why he didn't want to say something. If it was a strength or technical problem, you could do something about it. But, sound quality is more fundamental.

Chika asks "Why is Yoshinaga the only one with a different sound quality? What if he changes/replaces his Koto?" Chika and Kota continue on talking about this matter but as they are discussing, Atsumu is not really listening. In his mind, he is thinking "Why is that? Why am I the only one different from the others?" He looks at his hand wearing the rounded nails. He remembers Takezou-senpai saying "We are from the Ikuta style. We use this kind of square nails." Then he remembers his Grandpa's smiling face and him saying his name "Atsumu!"

Atsumu looks really sad after that. The closing remarks are "The only bond with my late grandfather..."

So basically, Atsumu's style of playing and sound is a bit different from everyone else's. But he loves his grandpa and his music so it'll be hard to make changes to that. I say that they should ask Suzuka and Akira-sensei about this. I'm not really musically talented so I don't know how to fix it (even Momoya doesn't know and he's super talented) but I doubt that Suzuka-sensei will ask Atsumu to change his playing style. He probably knows a thing or two about incorporating different styles to make it better.

Shout out to our boy Momoya for being honest this time (though he needed a lot of convincing. His hesitation comes from a place of caring. T_T)

No romantic moments for the main couples this chapter. Boohooo! (Oh! Well... There was a lot from Momoya and Atsumu! ^_^)

Onto the next chapter... Thanks.

[trouvelle]

When Tomorrow Comes

A/N: Here’s a short angst (featuring Shinichi and Kazuha) as my first fic of the year because why not be gloomy to start off 2020? :’0

Hands, slick with body heat and the sheet of perspiration that pooled in the crevices of their interlaced fingers. Her fingers were cold and clammy while his was hot and sweaty with the rush of adrenaline that pulsed through him. Shinichi sucked in deep and ragged breaths of the icy cold midnight air, the sharp blades pricking at his airways. They stumbled through hedges of branches and damp leaves, hitting their calves against outcropped roots. The night was alive with the shrill tremor of insects woven into darkness, the silence wrapped around the sounds of their greedy breathing. Dew fell heavily and the air was cold. Kazuha sneezed, and Shinichi could hear the girl's staccato breathing even more clearly than the singing of the cicadas in the background.

"Just a little more," he panted, squeezing the girl's hand for encouragement as he led her through the forest. He looked behind and heard a tiny “boom” from far behind, followed by an explosion of flames.

They were coming.

"Come on," he urged more insistently, pulling the girl along. Kazuha's shirt was gleaming a dark crimson red that spread to her tattered pants. He needed to stop her bleeding as soon as possible.

Shinichi did not know how long they ran, how much distance they covered, for it was trees and more trees all the way. He staggered to the small wooden house at the end of the dense forest. Shinichi sighed in relief.

"Come on Kazuha-chan. We'll be safe here," he said softly. The girl smiled as wide as she could, her chapped lips breaking into more of a grimace than a smile. Her other hand, which she'd pressed to her wound in a feeble attempt to staunch the bleeding, was dripping with blood, and her legs were trembling with exhaustion.

Shinichi picked her up and rushed into the house, past the last few rounds of bushes and through the broken wooden door. It was deserted; bare of furniture and supplies.

He put her down on the dusty floor gently.

"Hang on, I'll go find some—"

"Kudo-kun..." Kazuha whispered weakly, her thin hand clutching his ragged t-shirt, “Are we stopping here?” Her brown hair was matted to her forehead, lips cracked like crumpled paper. Her half-lidded eyes had lost their vigor, their spirit; in its place just embers left over from a once blazing fire. Shinichi clenched his jaw and tried to keep his lips from quivering.

"Yeah. We’ll stay here for the night."

It’s really dark outside by now. Shinichi knows there’s now way they could run any further without getting more lost, especially with their physical condition. He’s sure they knew it too. 

He was in no shape to fight, let alone defend the both of them. And who knows how much worse Kazuha’s wound had gotten? He swears, if Hattori doesn’t arrive in time...

They sat, their backs leaning against the wooden wall, inhaling musty air and blowing out white mist. Kazuha's raspy breathing filled the quiet space, every breath causing Shinichi's heart to thump wildly in its cage.

At least she was breathing.

All around their makeshift shelter, they could feel the unbreakable tension radiating through the waves in the air. Shinichi thought he could hear their hunters.

"We know you're here somewhere~" one of them taunted in a singsong voice. Shinichi felt Kazuha stiffen in his arms.

"Don't worry," he whispered assuringly. Kazuha closed her eyes, the luscious fan of long lashes settling down on her pasty skin. He closed his eyes and drew shaky breaths.

"They'll find us soon," Kazuha rasped, eyes still closed.

"No they won't," Shinichi replied. "By morning, we’ll be safe and sound."

As he ran his palm over his eyes, he felt something hot and wet.

Tears.

Damn, when was the last time he felt this desperate and hopeless? He still has so much to do, so much to say—to Ran. She’s done too much waiting on her part of their relationship, and he couldn’t bear to make her wait some more. Or worse, wait to no end.

Shinichi looked at the deep gash on Kazuha's flesh; the blood splattered in crimson stains on her blouse, still wet. The scene flooded back to him, the scene where they were running through the murky dungeons, how they almost made it out unscathed until they found out and had appeared right behind them. He remembered how he had let his guard down and didn’t notice a thing until Kazuha pushed him to the ground and took the hit for him. The stench of the fresh wound came back to him and he shuddered.

"Don't worry."

He opened his eyes to see Kazuha looking up at him, a glistening drop of water splattered in her cheek. “Heiji—he’ll come soon. He won’t rest until he finds ya.”

"He won’t rest until he finds you," he gently reminded with a smile.

With the pads of her fingers, she clumsily wiped her tear drops away and lightly patted his arm.

"I wish we coulda’ hung out more... under more normal circumstances," Kazuha whispered, her voice small and fragile.

"Don't talk like you're dying," Shinichi scolded, tweaking his chin. He bit his lip, trying to dispel the growing fear in his chest.

“I’m not. I won’t leave you here alone, Kudou-kun. And once we get out of this, promise me you’ll make Ran-chan happy.”

“I promise,” Shinichi assured her. “Now it’s your turn to promise me that you’ll stay awake until Hattori comes.”

Kazuha’s eyes met his but he did not miss the tiniest lift of her lips, the pasty white skin cracking into a slow, sad smile.  

"You can yell at him all you want when he gets here. I’ll back you up," Shinichi assured her with a chuckle.

"Yeah."

———

Dawn was breaking; the first rays of sunlight streaming into the house. Shinichi opened his eyes, watching the darkness melt away into bright light, dust cascading down to settle on the wooden floor.

"Kazuha-chan, time to wake up," he said, nudging the sleeping girl.

She didn't budge.

"Come on," Shinichi said, his voice shaky and his lips quivering as the coldness of the girl's chalky skin seeped into his warm hand. He looked at Kazuha, her eyes closed with a peaceful smile, tears running in dried streaks down her snowy white cheeks.

Just close your eyes.

Nothing could hurt her now. 

You are safe and sound.

Shinichi smiled through the desperation pooling in his gut. He was glad that she’s the furthest away from danger. And at the same time, he couldn’t imagine the pain that he would see in Heiji’s eyes, that is, if he would be able meet him again. He wanted to apologize to Kazuha, for promising her that Heiji would be here by the morning. He wanted to apologize to Heiji, for failing to let him cradle his world in his arms at least for one last time. He wanted to apologize to Ran for... for—just about everything.

Come morning light.

The door burst open and a figure entered, shining in the bright light of the rising sun. Shinichi watched as the figure approached them and he realized that the apparent figure was indeed a man. Shinichi couldn’t mistake its posture and ragged breathing for anything but relief that he had found them.

They’ll be safe and sound.

His eyes widened as an immense realization jolted through his body.

And he closed his eyes.

[purplellamanator]

Shinran and #5?

5. "I can't feel my legs."

A/N~ Sorry about the delay! I know I didn't post any of the requests last night and I'm sorry! I just had a really bad day and didn't want that to affect my writings for you guys! I still have some more requests to do so if yours hasn’t en posted yet, I will definitely get to them!! As for this one- thanks for the ask anon! Nothing better than some good ol' ShinRan ;) Hope you enjoy! Wasn't sure if you would angst or fluff with this one, but considering last time there was an option for angst and I went with that, I'll try to make this one fluffy! the lovely prompts this is also something i can envision happening in Interview Mania 

oOo

Ran would kill him. He was sure of it.

She had told him not to go after all. And what did he do? He did it anyway.

Yep, she would kill him. If this car didn't do it first.

Looking back and trying to be defensive, how had she expected him not to go? It was her father after all that invited him. Shinichi wanted to argue she didn't understand why he had to go. This was more than just accepting a challenge from Mouri Kogoro. This was more than simply out doing her father.

This was about gaining his respect. His acceptance.

Shinichi loved Ran. He wanted to marry her eventually. How would he be able to achieve that if her dad refused to be in the same room as him?

"You need to confront him! Show that old man that you're not going anywhere!"

He hated to say it, but he kind of agreed with Kuroba. He really wasn't going anywhere. Not anytime soon and not unless he and Ran suddenly decided to call it quits.

And he had no plans on letting that ever happen.

"Idiot! Don't actually consider doing that!" Hattori actually stepped in when he heard, what he thought, was some of the most ludicrous advice ever.

Kaito gave their friend an annoyed look. "Oh yeah? Well, what the hell would you recommend he do? Be the old man's doormat?"

And that was Shinichi actually had to agree with Kaito. He was sick of being just that- something for Kogoro to walk all over. He was the boyfriend to the man's daughter. The least he could do is be somewhat cordial with him. And that would also include him not bad mouthing his parents.

"Anything this dummy tells you to do, will have that Nee-chan dumping you the moment she steps foot back in Japan," he blatantly disregarded Kaito's question while jabbing a finger in his direction as well.

Hattori had a point. Ran did defend him anytime her father's comments got out of hand. But he also knew that she highly valued that old drunk's opinion. And after a few interactions of, "Oh look. Here's mister bigshot to grace us with his presence," and, "How are the Hollywood couple?"- Shinichi knew that it had to come to an end. How many times would Ran continue to hear that and notdsomething about it? Not to her father but to him, her boyfriend. He didn't want that drunkard's mouth to brainwash her into actually listening to the things he said about him. He didn't want her opinion of him to be changed.

"The point is to get him to respect you," Hattori continued. "Not hate you."

Well, that was easier said than done. The two of them had nothing in common. There was nothing that they could agree on except that they both loved Ran very much. Other than that, they didn't want anything to do with the other. Old man Mouri had already written him off long before he and Ran ever got together.

But he could understand where Hattori was coming from. If Kuroba wanted him to argue that he wasn't going anywhere, the same thing could be said about Kogoro. That was Ran's father. He could not be replaced.

"You need to prove to that old man you deserve to be with his daughter."

That had been the end of the advice from Hattori. And for a while, Shinichi had thought it had done nothing but make him feel even more helpless. But he was desperate. In order do what he had planned and to do it on time, he had to get through to her father now. It could not wait!

So when Kogoro asked Shinichi to go out for drinks with him, he readily agreed. 

 When he told Ran what he wanted to do, she was adamant that he not do it. Her father in a bar? She was trying to get him to stop drinking- not encourage the habit.That and she likely feared that something bad would happen between the two. 

But again, Ran didn't understand. She wouldn't yet. Shinichi had to do this because there was one thing that only Kogoro could give him.

His blessing.

Inviting him to a bar probably hadn't been his brightest idea but he wanted to play up to the things that he knew Kogoro liked. The plan was to butter him up. Just to get the man to give him the okay to marry his daughter and then they could move on with their lives from a distance.

But Kogoro was a seasoned drinker. And he also wasn't as stupid as he led everybody to believe. He knew something had been up the moment that Shinichi asked to spend time with him. The distaste between the two was not one-sided after all.

But the moment Kogoro knew just exactly what Shinichi wanted, he had the man turning more serious than he had ever seen him. And a proposition was made.

They were never going to see eye to eye and they would probably never actually like the other. But Kogoro could learn to deal with him.

If Shinichi could out drink him.

Shinichi knew it was a bad idea. It sent red flags raising. But he also knew that Kogoro knew that as well. He probably knew how Ran would feel if she ever found out that her boyfriend actually encouraged his bad habit. But he also wanted to know to what extent he would go to prove that he was worthy of his daughter. To what lengths would he go for this blessing?

Shinichi called his deal.

And lost.

The bad thing was he was too drunk to even be disappointed by that fact. Kogoro wasn't sober by any means but he was also way better off than the young athlete.

Shinichi wasn't exactly sure when they called it quits. He barely had any recollection of paying the tab.

His loss to Ran's old man hadn't been the worst part of his night he would soon discover.

Being that the plan was to go out specifically to drink, he had not taken his car. Kogoro and him had met up after he took the subway. Probably noticing how intoxicated Shinichi really was, he was surprised that Ran's dad actually took the time to help him get a cab.

That had been the plan. But when he didn't bother looking both ways or to even check if he had the right away, he just began walking in the cross walk.

And promptly got hit by a car.

"Brat!" Kogoro called in a mixture of surprise and fear. He hadn't been paying attention either and simply let Shinichi walked right into a cross walk with on coming traffic.

The car hadn't been going that fast. If anything, the moment they saw someone had just walked out, they had attempted to stop- but it had been too late.

Kogoro had already ran over to him but the driver was already jumping out of their car, freaking out. It only got worse when he realized just who he ran over.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" He was rambling and running his words together and taking initiative, the man was pulling out his phone and calling for an ambulance. Shinichi could kind of pick up some of the things that were being said. He knew the man recognized him when he started telling the dispatcher that he had, "Run over Kudou Shinichi!".

Admittedly, he didn't even think to be concerned about the press hearing about this. He knew he would have regrets eventually when he was sober, but for now there was something else bothering him.

"I can't feel my legs," he admitted out loud to simply voice his thoughts. He was so drunk though that he could tell if that was from the drinking or the fact that he just got hit by a car. Even worse, that statement was said as if he were commenting that it was raining outside.

He really was plastered. An athlete not even caring that his legs might not work.

But Kogoro was sober enough and he immediately began to panic. "Shit! Ran's going to kill me!" He was visibly freaking out, hovering nervously all over Shinichi. It was obvious he wanted to help but didn't know how. He didn't want to jostle him when he was laying there saying he couldn't feel his legs.

That had been a long night. He had been taken to the hospital pretty quickly and surprisingly, Kogoro went with him. He only left him a few times and that was to either let the doctors check him or to, what he assumed, call Ran. The girl that was about to put him in an early grave.

He knew he was sobering up when all of the embarrassment and anxiety hit him at once. He was so dead. The doctors had already told him that he would be fine. That his legs were fine and he mainly had a welt on his head from falling on the road- that and a decent sized bruise on his thigh.

But that wasn't what he was scared of.

The paparazzi had gone wild. They were having a field day with the fact that 'Famous Athlete Kudou Shinichi Drunkenly Caused an Accident'. And to make matters worse, as if they could- Ran was flying back early. Kogoro had warned him that he called Ran and she was furious. It appeared that that was one other thing they shared. Their fear of Mouri Ran.

When she finally showed up, Shinichi felt like it was too soon, He hadn't had enough time to at least try to formulate a good cover story for why he did the complete of opposite of what she said. The only good thing he could think of was out of the question considering he still did not have Kogoro's blessing.

Ran's first reaction had of course been to burst through the door and run to her boyfriend who was still hooked to monitors in a bed. There were tears in her eyes and from the red splotches he could tell she had likely cried the whole plane ride. It made him feel even more guilty.

But once that was done and past her worry, there was anger that was as clear as day. She had started in on him first but quickly shifted her anger onto her father whom in her eyes, was just as guilty. Truthfully it had been Kogoro's idea and though Shinichi knew he had no intention of having a car almost kill him, a small part of him knew this had likely been something he wanted to use to get Ran angry with him and possibly leave him. But he could see the remorse on the old man's face as he quietly stood there as Ran tried to keep her voice down.

"Ran," he cleared his throat and at the glare she shot his way, he almost backed down. He couldn't let Kogoro take the fall for it. It had been his idea to go out in the first place no matter if it had been Kogoro's idea to get him plastered and beyond coherent.

Kogoro gave him a suspicious look. He probably assumed Shinichi was about to spring something that would make her father take all the blame. But it wasn't.

"It was my idea."

Ran hadn't gone easy on him after that either. She was furious. She had to leave work early because her boyfriend decided to get drunk in the street. It was clear that once it was obvious that he would be fine and no lasting damage had occurred, that Ran fully allowed herself to be angry. And she wouldn't talk to him for days. She had been so mad at him that she actually stayed the night at her own apartment. And he hated that. Ran and him rarely got to see each other as it was. He didn't want her spending her free days away from him. But he had no one else but himself to blame. Whether the drinking game had been Kogoro's idea or not, it had been Shinichi's to actually go to a bar in the first place. Here he was. He got drunk, hit by a car, his girlfriend was mad at him, and he still didn't have her father's blessing.

Or so he thought.

Someone had knocked on his door. He immediately dismissed it as Ran considering she had a key and would just walk in. But she was the only one he ever really visited. It was rare for his team to come to his house. But none of that could ever prepare him for who really was at his door.

It was Kogoro. And it was clear that he was not at all comfortable with being there. He wasn't making eye contact and Shinichi realized it was because for once, Ran's dad was trying to be nice to him.

"You took the whole wrap for the other night even though you could've just let Ran yell at me."

Shinichi didn't disagree. He could have and then he probably could've used that against the old man to force him to give him his blessing. That or he would risk making Ran even more upset.

But he didn't. And he explained why.

"Ran values your opinion more than you think. I didn't want her to look at you differently on the off chance that something bad really did happen to me."

That left the older man standing in silence as if he were thinking. But then he nodded his head slowly; with a different expression and look in his eyes. And when they met gazes, Shinichi understood what that look was.

It was respect.

"Do you already have a ring?"

[sternentinte]

Emogust 2019 - 12.08.|Life/Death AU

(Life I)

(In which Ran won’t let Shinichi be dead)

Sometimes Ran regrets that Shinichi doesn’t have a grave. It had been her decision, back then. She can still see it clear as day. It was almost a year after he had stopped calling and the police had just given up on looking for him. Ran had cried and been angry and very tempted to smash her hand against the wall of the police department until she broke all of her bones. She’s kind of glad she didn’t—it would make playing the piano a lot harder now.

Yuusaku and Yukiko Kudou had come to visit her. She was angry at them, too. She was angry at everyone and she was desperate, and she wanted Shinichi to tell her it was okay.

“Ran-chan!”

Shinichi’s mother had hugged her.

“Isn’t it terrible?”

Ran nodded mutely; she didn’t know what else to say. She didn’t say much in those days.

“Ran-kun.”, Yuusaku was calmer than his wife in front of him. “How are you doing?”

Ran searched his face. He didn’t look exactly emotional, but was visibly exhausted, more so than she had ever seen him. He had always been so composed.

She also didn’t know how to answer the question. What did they think how she was doing?

“Why are you here?”, she asked instead. Why are you here now?, is what she doesn’t say. Why weren’t you here before? When Shinichi needed you?

Yuusaku took a breath as if too ready himself.

“We’ve been thinking”, he says, “of getting a grave for Shinichi.”

Ran stares blankly.

“But we wanted to ask your opinion. We don’t even live in this country and this is were Shinichi would want to stay…”

Ran doesn’t hear the rest.

“He’s not dead.”, she whispers barely audibly.

“What’s that, darling?”, Yukiko asks.

Ran raises her shaking voice. “He’s not dead. You can’t know that.”

Tears are in Yukiko’s eyes again, but right now, Ran can only resent her for it. Yuusaku sighs.

“I know this is hard for you, Ran-kun, but it is time to face the fact that Shinichi is probably not going to be found anymore. It has been too-”

Blood rushes through Ran’s ears.

“Shut! Up!”, she yells, the words falling out of her without permission. But now the dam is broken.

“How dare you say this? How dare you give up on him? How dare you show up here now, way too late when he’s gone and- You should be out there looking for him? Aren’t you the oh-so-smart Mr. I’m-cleverer-than-police-but-their-work-bores-me-so-I-prefer-to-make-things-up novelist? Why aren’t you out there looking for him?”

He doesn’t seem fazed by her words, doesn’t seem angry, just tired, and maybe sad and that makes Ran even angrier. He has no business being sad!

“I did everything I cou-”

“Oh but you didn’t! You should have helped him long ago, when he first got into this mess, when he stopped going to school or sleeping at home, you should have interfered than, should have saved him, should have made sure this never even happened! You have no right to bury him now and pretend you did everything you could!”

Ran breathes heavily. She hadn’t meant to say this, but she wouldn’t apologise for it either. It’s one of the things she’d come to realise in the past couple of months—how little Shinichi’s parents had been there for him, not only just now, but ever since they left to live in Los Angeles. Ran was more than aware that her parents weren’t perfect, but at least she was sure they wouldn’t have left her like this.

She wouldn’t apologise—that’s why she just looked at him defiantly. For the first time there was real pain in his face, the way his eyebrows crinkled together and the hard line of his mouth. Yukiko had stopped crying. Ran couldn’t look at her.

“Yes”, he says, his voice still calm, but tainted by an unspeakable emotion, “you are right. I will respect your wishes, Ran-san.“

Ran had nodded stiffly.

Four years later, when Koizumi Akako, chief editor of Red Hearts magazine, steps into the interview room at the Suzuki building, Ran thinks of the grave Shinichi never got.

-

(Death I)

(In which Aoko thinks her life is over)

Aoko first thinks of it in the middle of the night and in the instant the thought strikes her mind, she is sure she is right.

She scrambles out of bed a little awkwardly, switches her bedside light on and grabs her phone from the nightstand, quickly entering her code.  She opens the app she uses to track her period. She is right—three week overdue.

It doesn’t have to mean anything, she tells herself, but it doesn’t work. Aoko doesn’t really think she knows herself to well, but something has been different, and everything seems to suddenly make an astonishing kind of sense. This is true, her instinct tells her and Aoko can’t get her mind to win the yelling match.

Instead, she panics.

She steps out of bed profusely, almost running towards the bathroom, lights on, door locked. But once inside, she doesn’t know what to do either.

Pregnancy test, she tells herself, right now.

Except neither her nor Ran have one of those lying around their bathroom and at two am, there isn’t really any way to obtain one.

Aoko stares at herself in the mirror, her hair messed up from bed, her face pale in the strange light. She takes a step back, bumping against the glass wall of the shower. She lets her legs give out under her and slowly slides to the floor.

What on earth have I been doing?

The question is not new, not really. She’s asked herself the same thing so many times over the course of the past few months, but it never felt as real as it does now, as if they were lone sane thoughts in the middle of a fever dream she has only now woken up from.

Kaito, she thinks. It’s a nonsensical thought, because Kaito has nothing to do with this, nothing whatsoever, except that if he finds out he will never look at her the same way again (—then on the other hand, why shouldn’t he? His significance in that aspect is a projection of her feelings, not his—) and that she really wished he did. That’s why she is in this mess at all, isn’t it? Stupid feelings.

But Aoko can’t shake them either, and the mixture of hurt and shame that fuels these second thoughts can’t overcome her initial thought, her instinct.

The phone is still in her hand.

She doesn’t think when she dials. Kaito picks up on the first ring.

“Aoko? Are you okay?”

Aoko’s stares at the phone in her hand.

“Aoko?”

“Yes, I’m alright.”, she presses, to quickly, “wrong number?”

She feels the tears coming down her face silently.

“Wrong number?”, Kaito asks, confused, but amused, “Who else do you call at two am? All your secret boyfriends?”

That one hits home too close, even if Aoko did never have KIDs phone number.

“Butt dial…”, she mumbles instead, trying to keep the crying out of her voice, but he notices anyway. Of course. He has always been better at reading her than she is at reading him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, bye!”, Aoko mangles out quickly, and hangs up immediately.

She lays her head on top of her knees and cries.

-

(Death II)

(In which Ran accepts an ending)

“Good morning, Mouri-san!”

Koizumi-san seems highly professional, and from a past interview, Ran remembers her as being not unkind—but like many journalists, at least many in the celebrity gossip branch, she has something of a shark. Ran knows she is not going to go easy on her, but that’s alright today. It’s what she wanted.

“Good morning, Koizumi-san. I am happy to be speaking to you today.” She does her best to smile.

“That is what I should be saying to you. Do you mind if I call you Ran-chan? It fits the tone of our magazine better.”

“Of course.”

“So, Ran-chan. The Gosho Girls are famous for not singing love songs.”

Here we go.

“As the main lyricist, you have always claimed that you wanted to produce more songs about other values such as friendship for example, since those themes are not as widely explored, as you told Teen Idol last October. Is there more to the mysterious lack of love songs in the Gosho Girls’ repertoire?”

Ran takes a deep breath.

“It is true that I believe that in our culture, relationships that aren’t romantic aren’t appreciated enough. I, personally, have gotten so much support from my family, my friends, and of course the fellow Gosho Girls over the course of my life and putting them at the center of my art is my way to thank them. I am very connected to my art and I express my feelings in the songs I write.”

“Why not do both? Write lyrics about friendship and romance? It is a popular demand among your fans and has been for quite some time. Have you ever considered it? If so, why did you decide against it?”

“As I said before, I feel deeply about the lyrics I write. My friendships and family relations in the past years have been more prominent and important to me than any kind of romance. My art reflects that. Some have suggested, that because of this, I might be damaged or incapable of true feelings. I consider those comments to be very inappropriate, especially seeing that many of my fans are young girls, who should not be subjected to the idea that romance is the only valid form of love or that they aren’t a full person without it, which I deem a dangerous and damaging idea. I am sure you agree with me there.”

I dare you, Ran thought, I dare you to contradict me.

She didn’t.

“The subject of your love life itself took heightened interest after an interview you gave about a month ago, where you insisted on being very private on that matter. After that an article made headlines claiming you were in a relationship with Kudou Shinichi-san, who was quite well known for being a high school detective. Is there any truth to those claims?”

And so the shark surfaces.

Be honest, Ran tells herself, takes a deep breath and starts doing what she came for.

“Shinichi and I were childhood friends. We met in pre-school and were very close for a very long time. He was an exceptionally smart child, a little arrogant at times, but very loyal and brave. He started solving crimes in high school, but he was always interested in them. He was a huge fan of Sherlock Holmes and his father, Kudou Yuusaku, is well known for the Knight Baron-series, of course. He was a great detective, anyone who knew him at the time could tell you that. I used to call him a mystery geek and a deduction nut. He was a good soccer player, too, but he quit after middle school to focus on being a detective.”

“Ran-chan, you don’t have to give me Kudou-san’s life story to answer the question.”

“I know, but this is very important to me, and I think your readers will find it very interesting as well.”

She paused.

“Please.”

Her voice was calm, but she felt her hands shaking. Koizumi-san waited for a moment, unconvinced, but the she nodded.

“Go ahead.”

“So when we were in our second year of high school, I won the regional karate tournament. Shinichi had promised me he would take me somewhere if I won—he had come to the tournament to support me and then left at some point to do some detective business. I was a little mad for him because of that so that was his way of making it up to me.”

“A date?”

“Not really. We weren’t dating at the time, but I guess it did fit the bill. Anyway, we were on our way home, when Shinichi must have seen or heard something, I’m not sure. He told me to go ahead and stormed. I had a bad feeling, but I did anyways.”

“He doesn’t seem like the most reliable guy. Bailing out on his girlfriend’s tournament and ditching her on the way home…”

“Oh, but he was. In fact, I think he was one of the most reliable people I have ever met.”

“How so?”

“Well, for one, he was there many times when I really needed him. Sure, he missed the tournament, but ultimately, he had good reasons—he left in order to investigate the death of another person. I think finding a murderer is, in the grand scheme of things, of higher priority than my match was. And I loved that about him. He valued the human life so much, I would be a bad person to truly hold that against him.” She stops for a moment. “Also, I wasn’t his girlfriend, don’t forget that.”

Ran takes another breath.

“I called him later that night of our not-date, but he didn’t answer. I was very worried, and I even went to his house, but he hadn’t come home yet. I couldn’t do anything but wait. When he didn’t come to school the next day, I almost called the police, but he eventually called me back. I was very relieved to hear from him. He told me that he had run into a difficult case and that he might stay away a while to solve it. I wasn’t too thrilled to hear that, I was still worried, but I knew he felt he needed to do that. I think the case turned out to be harder than even he thought it would be. Over the course of the next year, he called me regularly, but I only ever saw him a couple of times. I was, as you can imagine, in a constant state of worry, because I didn’t know where he was and what he was doing, and he only gave me vague answers. At one point my father and me went on a holiday to London. I met Shinichi there coincidentally. I was quite mad at him, and hurt, to be honest, because I had told him that I was going and he had said nothing about being there. We had an argument and he ended up confessing that he was in love with me.”

Ran took a break and sipped on her glass of water. Somehow saying all of this, relaying it to a stranger like a story had something liberating about it.

“He vanished right again after that. I could only give him my answer at our school trip, where he showed up again. We started dating there, but he disappeared again. His case wasn’t solved yet.”

“So you were, in fact, in a relationship with him?”

“Yes. However, shortly after, he stopped calling me. It was about a year after he had disappeared. Nobody ever hurt from him again. I filed a missing person report, but the investigation didn’t lead anywhere.”

Ran feels her voice breaking and takes another sip of water.

“It is likely that he was victim of a crime. Of course, we can’t know for sure, but the investigation was eventually stopped. Shinichi is presumed dead.”

Ran pauses and Koizumi-san doesn’t fill the break.

“This wasn’t mentioned in the article about Shinichi and me, which is why I thought it would be a good idea to clear it up.”

She closes her eyes, then opens them again.

“Shinichi was one of the best people I ever had the luck to meet. He was kind and brave and he had strong morals, and I think that was his own misfortune. He will, of course, hold a place in my heart forever. Above all, however, I don’t want his legacy to be that he was the guy that turned Idol Ran-chan bitter. It doesn’t do justice to him. I ask all of my fans to be respectful of that, please.”

I did it, Ran thinks. I said it all. .

In a strange way she feels free—freer than she has for a long time.

You didn’t get a grave, she thinks to wherever Shinichi is now, but I just gave you a eulogy.

-

(Life II)

(In which Aoko faces a beginning)

The morning sickness starts two weeks later.

Aoko hates it, partly because it is so cliché, but also because it is a reminder she can’t ignore this forever. She has to do something. Tell someone. But even that possibility leaves her terrified. And who would she tell? KID?

She had taken a (more accurately, three) pregnancy tests the day after her realisations and had her fears confirmed, but she had yet to actually do something about it.

She had tried to bring the topic up to Ran, ghosting around it by talking about having children and did Ran ever plan on it? But sadly (or luckily?), Ran couldn’t read her thoughts and dismissed the whole thing by saying it was hardly an option for her. Sometimes Aoko wished Ran wasn’t such a saint. Maybe that would make it easier to spit it out.

So there she was, the second day in a row, puking her guts out in the bathroom at their practice room.

The door opens and Aoko winces. She doesn’t really want to see anyone to see her like that, but now it’s too late for that anyway.

“Jeez”, Kazuha-chan’s voice says, “Are you alright, Aoko-chan?”

“Just a stomach thing”, Aoko starts saying, but she breaks into tears in the middle of the sentence. Stupid hormones.

“Are you sure?”, Kazuha kneels down beside her. “Hey, what’s up?”

Aoko can’t tell her. She cannot.

“Did you eat something bad?”

Yes, is what Aoko wants to say, but instead she just cries harder.

Kazuha puts her hand on Aoko’s forehead as if to take her temperature, but instead she lets her eyes glide over her thinking.

“Aoko-chan”, she says, carefully, “You aren’t pregnant, aren’t you?”

Instead of answering, Aoko throws up into the toilet again.

-

Kazuha drags her to her apartment after practice.

Aoko hasn’t been at Kazuha’s place a lot—usually all of them meet up at her and Ran’s place or at work. She knows that Kazuha’s friend Hattori-kun lives here, too, but there doesn’t seem to be a trace of him.

“So”, Kazuha says, “how are we feeling about this thing?”

Aoko blinks.

“Are we happy about it or not so much?”

“Not so much.”, Aoko presses.

“Okay”, Kazuha says, as if her own feelings don’t really affect the ‘we’ at all.

“Do you want to tell me how this happened?”

“I suppose you don’t want a breakdown of human reproduction, right?”

Kazuha smiles a little. “I think I’m good.”

She leans her head form one side to the other, as if looking for words.

“So, you don’t have to tell me, but what I’m thinking that happened is that you and Kuroba-kun let out your repressed feelings at some point at each other without actually dealing with them…”

Aoko actually laughs.

“It’s worse.”

Kazuha blinks, and Aoko can practically see her resetting the pieces in her mind.

“So it wasn’t Kuroba-kun?”

“I had sex with someone else in order to deal with my repressed feelings by pretending that someone else was Kaito.”, Aoko clarifies.

Pause.

“Okay, that actually is worse.”, Kazuha admits eventually, “Do you, eh, was it someone you know well?”

“Kind of? Not really, but somewhat, I guess?”

“That’s not very clear.”, Kazuha says because it isn’t. It also is something Aoko has trouble explaining even to herself.

Aoko takes a deep breath.

“Kazuha-chan, can you please not judge me?”

“I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t give you the impression I was. I don’t think you’re a bad person for…”

“No”, Aoko interrupts, “it’s just. I slept with the Kaitou Kid.”

Kazuha stares.

“How did that ever even happen?” The incredulity in her voice is almost tangible.

“It’s kind of a long story.”

“Okay, okay.”, Kazuha pauses for a moment as if to reorientate herself in the conversation, “Do you have any way to contact him?”

Aoko shrugs. “Usually he just finds me?”

“Usually?”

“No judging, right?”, Aoko says, “it’s bad enough as it is.”

“No, it’s just a little crazy. I’m sorry, but it just is.”

“It’s insane.”, Aoko agrees.

They pause again.

“I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this.”, Kazuha says eventually.

“Me neither.”, Aoko says. She buries her head in her hands. “Oh my god, Kazuha-chan, I am going to die. What is wrong with me? Why the hell did I do that?”

“Well, I don’t know why you did it, but you are not going to die. We’ll make sure of that.”

“Can we?”

Aoko feels her starting to cry again. “Didn’t you just hear anything I said? I got pregnant from sleeping with a freaking ghost, which I only did because I’m hopelessly in love with my best friend, who is starting to feel like a damn ghost, too. I’m majorly screwed over. And I can’t even be private about the whole thing because in at least a couple of months I’m going to be huge and I’m in a somewhat successful girl band and there are social media accounts dedicated to pictures of my butt. This is a catastrophe!”

“Hey, hey”, Kazuha says, and puts her arms around Aoko, a little awkwardly, but that doesn’t really matter. “We’re the best at dealing with catastrophes, aren’t we? Ran and Sonoko are dealing with one right now, and that’s just the newest iteration of the never-ending Kudou Shinichi-catastrophe. We stick together and we’ll work something out.”

“But how can you know that?”

“Well, something has to happen. The world always keeps turning somehow, no matter how bad it is. I bet you already noticed that, too. And there are a lot of people, who love you and who will help you.”

“Do you really think so?”, Aoko asks.

“Of course.”, Kazuha replies, as if the idea that people are going to turn away in disgust hearing about this is completely foreign and absurd to her. “You have all of us—me, and Sonoko-chan, and Ran-chan—Have you told Ran-chan about it yet?”

Aoko shakes her head and guilt floods her. “I tried, too, but I don’t know, I felt so bad and it’s kind of a hard topic to bring up with her…”

Kazuha raises her eyebrows. “What do you mean with her? I mean it’s obviously not an easy topic, but why is it harder with her?”

“Well…”, Aoko trails of. Why is Kazuha-chan so perceptive? “I tried to sort of lead into it by talking about kids in general and, you know, how they change a lot and if she’s ever thought about it and she basically just said that it’s not really an option for her, so she pretty much doesn’t think about it, and yeah. Probably not the best way to try and say that ever.”

“Probably not.”, Kazuha agrees, “But she has to know, soon. She’s your roommate. You can’t not tell her. Also, she’s one of your closest friends. You’re closer to her than to me and you’re talking to me.”

“Well, yeah.”, Aoko says. Sometimes she forgets how direct Kazuha can be. About some things. Others, not so much. “But I only told you because you cornered me with it. Wait, how did you even know?”

“My mum’s a midwife. She’s told me about a million things about it, so I know a lot of signs, I guess.”

“Makes sense.” Aoko pauses. “But, you know, the thing about Ran-chan is that she’s been through so much and none of it was her fault? And she’s still so kind and good and resourceful and she works so hard? And I’m such a mess and I have no clue how to pick myself up at all, and she does it all the time.”

“So that just means she can help you do it. She has experience.”

“Maybe.”, Aoko says. She’s not too convinced.

“And besides, you still have Kuroba-kun to help you, don’t you?”

“Why would he help me?”, Aoko asks, and almost wants to start crying again.

“He’s your best friend. You just said it.”

“Well, yeah.”

“There you go, then.”

Aoko doesn’t think Kazuha understands the mystery that is Kuroba Kaito, and she is too tired to explain something she doesn’t really get herself.

“Also”, Kazuha says, and her voice is quieter now, more careful, “you don’t have to keep it, you know.”

“I thought about it”, Aoko says.

It’s true. She has done her research about this, thinking it was maybe the only solution for this. She looks at Kazuha. She sighs.

“Kaito lost his father when he was nine.”, she finds herself saying, instead of answering the implied question. Kazuha lets her.

”He was a magician, too, world famous, maybe you’ve heard of him. He and Kaito were really close and when he died, Kaito was devastated. And he changed. He closed off from everyone. You know, magic is all about distraction and being flashy so no one can see where the real trick is happening. Kaito is really good at that. For a while it became really hard to actually pin him down, to see what he really thought or felt. I think I always was a little bit better at it than most people, because I could see through his charm-attacks. We insulted each other a lot, but it was more honest. He was getting better. Mostly he was annoying and ridiculous, but he was getting better. I was glad.”

Aoko closes her eyes and opens them again.

“But sometime in high school, it changed again. I don’t know what happened, but he closed off even more and I had no idea what to do about it and it just kept getting worse. Still does, actually. I try so hard to figure out what he’s thinking, but most of the time it is impossible. I can’t really get to him anymore. I can’t figure out what he thinks about anything, even how important I really am to him.” She pauses. “That’s why I’m not sure how he will react to any of this or if I can count on his help.”

I really want to tell him, though.

“Also, I feel guilty about it. For a lot of different reasons.”, she adds.

Kazuha doesn’t ask about that. Maybe she understands it, in some capacity.

“I don’t really know Kuroba-kun at all. But if he still spends time with you and talks to you, even after so many years when it would be easy to just grow apart or be too busy, then I’m sure he cares about you.”, she says.

It helps a little. “Thank you.”

“Maybe”, Kazuha says, “he’s just got a little dumb-boy disease. I have a lot of experience with that.”

Aoko grins a bit. “I can imagine so.”

Then she gets a little bit bolder, because if they can talk about her worst problems, than she can ask questions, too.

“Say, Kazuha-chan”, she says, “why are you and Hattori-kun not a thing?”

Kazuha blinks. “So that is kind of out of nowhere.”

Aoko shrugs. “You don’t have to say.”

But Kazuha just shakes her head. “I guess I owe you a truth here, too.” She hesitates, albeit briefly. “It’s because he doesn’t want to.”

That’s Aoko’s turn to be surprised. “Did he say that?”

“Yep”, Kazuha says, like it’s a comedy movie instead of her life. “It was a long time ago, though, so don’t worry. I’m mostly used to it.”

“Why though?”, Aoko can’t help but ask. “I was so sure he liked you.”

Kazuha shrugs. “Maybe he does. I figure he has his reasons. Dumb boy disease, I’m telling you.”

“I’m sorry.”, Aoko says, because even if Kazuha has seemed to make some sort of sense of that, she hasn’t. She just thinks it’s awful. And stupid. And hurtful.

But, to her surprise, Kazuha actually smiles at that. “Don’t be. Because I’m not. I’m still his best friend, and the most important woman in his life that’s not his mother, and I still make sure he doesn’t kill himself on account of being an idiot. I value that. Also, it’s not like I never date anyone because of him.”

“True.”, Aoko says, even though to her, none of Kazuha’ occasional dates seem exactly serious. Still, for some reason she is impressed by the sentiment.

“But you do get jealous when other women as much as talk to him?”, she says eventually, because regardless of what Kazuha says, Aoko has witnessed this a couple of times.

Kazuha sighs. “Do you have to call me out like this, Aoko-chan? I mean, yeah, you have a point. I guess nobody’s perfect, right?”

“Certainly not me.”, they both say at the same time.

They look at each other, then they laugh.

It takes a while for them to stop, even though there is no legitimate reason to be laughing at all, because everything is really not going the right way, but maybe that, precisely, is the reason.

When they stop and the apartment is silent again, Aoko makes a decision.

“I’m going to keep it.”, she says, and she knows it so surly like she knew of its existence even before she took the test.

“Are you sure?”, Kazuha asks.

Aoko nods.

“Okay.”, Kazuha says.

“Okay.”

——

@mintchocolateleaves, @sup-poki

So this is super late and only fits the prompt with a stretch of imagination and a lot of sense for metaphorics (or something), and it definitely went off-rail somewhere, but at least it’s long?

[mayonaka-no-sasayaki]

CoAi/ShinShi Week 2019 - Day 5: Choice

@coai

Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan or it's characters.

August 29th - Day 5: Choice

Summary: Considering the circumstances, Shiho finds that the best way to protect Kudou and the people they both care about is to have the Organisation shift their attention elsewhere; on a bigger target than Kudou.

And who better to be it, than Sherry?

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20439038

Fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13375386/1/Infinite-Possibilities

Infinite Possibilities

Bloody hell.

"What will it be, Sherry? Your life?" The cool barrel of a gun presses against her forehead and it takes everything within her not to flinch back when cold green eyes flick behind her. "Or theirs?"

A soft whimper sounds from one of the kids and Shiho lets out a snarl at Gin, too furious to be afraid of her tormentor.

An ambush.

With the rumours of Kudou-kun sudden return from when he was in Kyōtō spreading like wildfire, despite it being put to rest— the Organisation's second-in-command; the ever elusive Rum, had ordered elite agents to track down leads regarding the detective.

And what better way to start than to go to the people closest to Kudou-kun. It's even more of a pain since Rum is meticulous and paranoid; using connections to have the Suzuki family invite Kudou-kun's friends and family to a gathering at Haido Hotel as a means to monitor and eventually, take them hostage along with all the important people that the Suzuki family are connected to as a means to further their agenda.

Two birds with one stone.

Initially, they were all separated into certain groups; CEOs, celebrities, athletes, so on and so forth. It was misleading since it gave the impression that it's done by a greedy criminal group that Kudou-kun seems to attract. Or even a rival company of the Suzuki family looking to get rid of the competition. Those kind of idiots are easier to handle than the threat They pose. Of course, it's just her luck that both Gin and Vermouth are amongst the agents sent to this particular task. But it's not her that They are hunting down; not after 'killing' her on the Mystery Train all those months ago. It should have been a relief to know that she's not the target.

Until her mind realised how carefully all the people in attendance are selected. They are all the people who are close or connected to Kudou Shinichi in some way or another.

Shiho wants to face palm so badly when she figured that part out. Honestly, that reckless idiot is going to be the death of her one of these days.

They want to draw out Kudou-kun by taking all those he cares about as hostages. Brilliant.

Shiho has had her suspicions before but this proves the fact that Rum really is a bloody bastard.

Considering that Kudou-kun is one of the key players to finally bring Them down once and for all, Shiho obviously can't let Them dispose of Kudou-kun or the people here. So she makes her choice. Considering the circumstances, Shiho finds that the best way to protect Kudou-kun and the people they both care about is to have the Organisation shift their attention elsewhere; on a bigger target than Kudou-kun.

And who better to be it, than Sherry?

As far as They are concern, while Kudou-kun is a famous high school detective, he is still just a teenager and an unfortunate witness to Gin and Vodka's deal at Tropical Land. Herself, on the other hand? Well, she knows things that not many in Their ranks know about, mostly in regards to That Person's obsession with the Apoptoxin and the lengths he'd take to achieve it. And that includes orders and experiments that not even Vermouth knows about. It should be a terrifying choice; sneaking away to take the temporary antidote and revealing herself to Gin of all people.

Honestly? Shiho is too numb and furious to even be afraid.

From her peripheral vision, Shiho can see that Kudou-kun is white as a sheet. She worries if the brunet is even breathing considering how still he is. It's the first time that she's ever seen Kudou-kun so terrified but then, she can't blame him. All the people he's sworn to protect are hostages to Them right now— Shiho would be surprised if the detective isn't at least a bit afraid.

"Shouldn't that be obvious, Gin?" Stepping forward so that the muzzle is pressed more firmly against her forehead, she glares up at the assassin. "Leave them be and I'll come quietly."

Vodka chuckles at Gin's side, a constant shadow. "No can do, Sherry. Got orders to dispose of a certain detective."

"Fool," she drawls out with a scoff. "That detective you're searching for is dead. You're wasting your time."

The gun barrel almost cuts her skin from the sudden pressure as Gin levels a smirk at her. "Hoh~? And how can you so sure, little traitor?"

"Simple." Despite her old fear, Shiho doesn't look away from Gin. "The one who confirmed his death on the database and performed his autopsy— was me."

There's a pause before Gin lightens the pressure. "Explain."

"Aniki," Vodka implores, a skeptical frown on his face. "She could be lying."

Shiho lets herself smirk. "I'm not. Blood and DNA samples can prove that. Along with the autopsy report I wrote up for the subject."

"Then why is Rum so hellbent in finding the brat if it's confirmed that he's dead?"

Huffing, she gives Gin a pointed glance. "The reports are only accessible to That Person."

"And why is that?" Vodka demands while Gin sighs, before he finally pulls the gun back.

"Because the brat's results are what the Boss is looking for." Gin raises a brow at her. "Isn't that right?"

Shiho nods, relieved but still on guard. "He came closest out of all the test subjects, yes."

Sirens wail from the distance. Shiho wonders if it was Bourbon or Rye (despite Kudou-kun's best efforts, she's not fooled. She would recognise the man who her sister loved anywhere after putting him under surveillance for so long) who tipped the authorities. Either way, she's grateful. There's no need for Rye to blow his cover and come back from the dead as well; Okiya Subaru is just a graduate student after all and should stay that way until the moment is right.

From a nearby window, Chianti curses aloud and tears away from her rifle scope. "Cops are surrounding the place. Shit tons of 'em too. Let's just take Sherry and go already."

"But that detective brat!" Vodka protests, looking between her and Gin.

"Is dead," she repeats firmly then, tilts her head with a widening smirk. "Or did you forget who was the one that created the poison in the first place? I know very well how effective it is."

The sounds of shouting and ricocheting bullets are edging closer and a quick glance to the side shows her the desperation in Kudou-kun's eyes as he tries to think of a way out for everyone. Rye is much the same, looking ready to pounce on the nearest grunt at a moments notice. Even Bourbon appears to want to jump into the fray despite being a NOC.

Shiho makes her choice and steps closer to Gin. "Keep me alive and I'll prove it to Rum myself."

"...very well."

Shots fire, terrified screams cut through the air as people curl up close together.

Shiho drops to the ground with a grimace, mouth pressed tight from the pain, twin bullets dug deep into her things. The carpet underneath her is getting soaked from the blood streaming out of the wounds.

"No!"

Even through the pain, she can see Kudou-kun struggling to free himself from Mouri-san's hold, glasses askew and snarling hatefully up at Gin.

"Leave her alone!"

Exasperated, she turns her head to pin Kudou-kun a reproachful glare. "Shush now, brat."

"Brat trying to play superhero or something?" Vodka comments, coming closer to haul her up. "Ya know him?"

Shiho hisses, the wound searing into her. As expected of Gin. He aimed at the right place to make sure her legs would be useless; making an escape impossible for her.

Knowing that she has to be careful with her words lest they pay too much attention to the too clever child, Shiho shrugs with a breathless chuckle. "Just a brat that I just met tonight that likes quizzes too much." Shiho feels her lips twist into an apologetic smile at Kudou-kun. "Guess he's a bit angry that he won't get the answer to the quiz I gave him. Don't worry, brat. You're almost at the right answer."

The permanent antidote is almost complete and with the instructions she left for the Professor and Kudou-kun in case of emergencies like this, they'll be able to finish it even without her.

Kudou-kun's expression blanks for a moment until he connects the dots, before it turns absolutely livid. "I don't care about that, you infuriating woman!"

That's hard to believe, considering how much the detective likes to beg for an antidote.

"Rude brat," she comments with a pained chuckle, shuffling forward and bites back another hiss when Vodka shoves her. She's caught by the one woman she had hoped she'll never meet again.

The cold smirk Vermouth gives her brings a chill down her spine but she endures to edge closer and whispers furiously to the other woman.

"Protect him, Vermouth."

"Of course," the pale blonde says loftily, smirk taking on a condescending edge. "He is the precious Silver Bullet after all."

A snarl on her lips, indignation and protectiveness flaring. "He is not a pawn to your sick games."

"How noble of you, Sherry." Vermouth then passes her back to Vodka. "Let's hurry up, now— before our uninvited guests come barging in."

There's a commotion behind her, and she sees one of the locked double doors to the dining hall straining to be broken down from the other side. Guns still trained on the hostages by the grunts, Shiho snaps off a pained yelp when she's unceremoniously hauled out by Gin towards the only other set of doors.

"Conan-kun!"

"Let me go, Ran-neechan!"

Shiho watches as Kudou-kun; pale and terrified trying to claw his way out of Mouri-san's protective hold, hand outstretched and reaching out for her.

Unbidden, a smile curves along her lips and Kudou-kun stops struggling, blue eyes wide and glassy as a tear streams down his face before his mouth parts.

I'm sorry.

Despite the fear that's finally creeping in, she continues to smile, eyes flitting to all the people she cares about.

Agasa-hakase. The Tantei-dan.

Her gaze finally lands back to a stricken Kudou-kun and she allows herself to show how much she cares for the detective (is it love? Shiho isn't sure but she does know that there's no other man as incorrigible as Kudou-kun). She doesn't break eye contact even as the doors close shut behind her.

But I'm not.

She's led to the only working elevator on the floor with Gin while Vodka waits for his turn with the grunts. Once the doors slide closed, she's shoved against a wall with Gin's gun back on her forehead.

"If neither Rum or myself are satisfied with your report, Sherry..."

The threat goes unfinished but it doesn't take a genius to figure out what will happen. And just like that, the old fear is returning with a vengeance and she shakily nods, trembling.

"Understood."

Gin steps away from her and she lets out a quiet sigh of relief. Shiho tries to distract herself from the pain of her wounds by looking up at the floor numbers as they make their descent.

Seven, six, five—

Don't run away from fate, Haibara.

Cold sweat dribbles down onto her chin and she feels her lips lifting into a wan smile. Of course the voice of the boy who inspires her to live would snap her out of the despair that's threatening to swallow her whole.

Four.

No more running. She has people that she still needs to protect. There's still so much to do before Shiho can rest her weary bones. Until the day comes where she doesn't have to be afraid of every shadow that lurks in the corners, she will continue to fight.

I won't, Kudou-kun.

But more importantly, she will survive and live.

"Three."

Gin throws her a sharp glance. "What?"

"You gave me two choices." Blinking sluggishly up at Gin, she gives him a deadpanned stare. "There's actually...three."

Looking as if he's actually humouring her, Gin scoffs. "Is that so?"

"Yes." Shiho sways as her vision swims from the blood lost but she has to do this. It was hasty but she didn't reveal herself to Them unprepared. "Me." A finger points to herself then, to the elevator doors. "Them."

Two.

"Or you."

A scream; more surprised than pained resounds in the tiny space of the elevator as Shiho digs the syringe deeper into Gin's jugular. The toxin has an instant numbing agent that she's been experimenting on in case if she ever runs into Them. Never before has she ever been grateful for her paranoia that she even thought of bringing the damnable thing tonight.

Gin roars, eyes so wide that there's barely any green in them. "Sherry...!"

"This is for all the people you've hurt," she hisses into Gin's ear.

Gin takes a swipe at her and she dodges in time, only to cry out in pain when she hits the floor hard. Not a second later, Gin descends on her, hands wrapped tight around her throat with a mad grin.

Gasping, she claws at Gin's eyes and hears the satisfying grunt of pain. There's a clatter and she doesn't even stop to think as she grabs Gin's beretta and takes aim.

"This," she chokes out, firing at Gin's chest; at exactly where Onee-chan was shot at, "is for my sister!"

Though he stumbles, Gin presses a hand to his chest and lunges at her. Shiho tries to scramble away but her legs are useless and she's lost too much blood to even think of overpowering Gin. They struggle against one another and her eyes blur from the pain and fear; from the sheer frustration of it all. Enough. No more. She's made the choice to live and she is going to continue on living because she…! Is. Not. Done!

One.

"And this…!" The effects of her toxin is finally taking effect and she levels the gun to Gin's forehead with a grim smirk. "This, is for me!"

The shot echoes long after it's fired and she coughs as Gin slumps on top of her, the assassin's blood and brain matter soaking her clothes. Eyes burning, she blinks up at the ceiling as the elevator doors slide opened.

"Goodbye, Gin." Shiho places a hand on top of blood matted silver hair, tears streaming down her face. Relief and grief war in her. Although there's no love lost between them, Gin had been a companion of sorts and maybe some part of her had wished that Gin was someone that could've been saved. "May you burn in Hell."

Reaching a hand out to stop the doors from closing, Shiho quickly shoots the panels to make sure it won't go back up to be used as an escape route for any of Their agents. Ripping strips of cloth from Gin's coat, she wraps up her wounds and crawls out of the elevator. Shiho tries to be careful not to leave obvious trails of blood in her wake but she's not sure if she succeeds. Dragging herself to the nearest break room, she manages to find a first aid kit and proceeds to take the bullets out, lest the apoptoxin causes more damage than help in closing her wounds once the antidote wears off. Once done, she rehydrates herself from the water dispenser and a chocolate bar from the fridge.

Hiding herself in a nook at the far corner of the break room, she holds onto Gin's gun close and waits for the apoptoxin to take affect. Shiho isn't sure for how long she hides, blinking in and out of consciousness until she hears a pair of footsteps getting closer. Hotel staff? Or perhaps one of Them? Maybe Gin's corpse was found and They are looking for retribution?

As whoever it is comes closer, Shiho takes aim until familiar sneakers come into view. The rest of the body follows soon enough to show the shrunken form of Kudou Shinichi with his Tracking Glasses on. Ah…Kudou-kun must've tracked her down by following the signal of her Tantei-dan badge. And if Kudou-kun can actually sneak away to take the chance in trying to find her then, that means the hostages are safe. Thank goodness.

There's a smile on Kudou-kun's face as pure relief washes over childlike features, before Kudou-kun rapidly pales at the state she's in. "Haibara..."

"Kudou-kun," she mumbles back, and seeing the horrified look on Kudou-kun's face because there's no doubt the detective has already deduced what happened for her to be soaked in blood and brain matter, she lets out a tired sigh. "I am not sorry."

Shiho is well aware of Kudou-kun's aversion to killing but in this, she refuses to be ashamed of her actions. She does regret it had to come down to it but she's not sorry for making the choice in defending herself or those she loves from the monster that was Gin.

"I know…but, I am," Kudou-kun says, blue eyes terribly sad but lacking any pity or censure. "And honestly? I don't blame you."

That's unexpected. A relief but unexpected all the same.

"You should be with the others." Strength starting to come back, Shiho can already feel the apoptoxin reactivating and replenishing the blood she's lost. If there's one good thing about the poison she made, it's that it activates the necessary cells to heal wounds as time reverses back. "Go. I'll join you once the antidote wears off—"

She glances down at her blood soaked clothes and feels her shoulders drop. "— and wash up as well."

"I'm not leaving you."

"Kudou-kun…" Shiho sighs, head rising up to give Kudou-kun an unimpressed stare.

The glare Kudou-kun sends her is stern and perhaps even a little terrifying. "I. Am. Not. Leaving. You."

"Fine," she eventually grits out, turning away to lean her head against the wall. "But stay away, I'm filthy."

Ignoring her warning, the idiot has the gall to plop himself beside her. "Don't care."

"Little punk."

"Tsundere brat."

"…you did not just called me that."

"I so did."

"Ugh."

Steam rises as the antidote starts to wear off, and Kudou-kun finds one of her hands to grasp in his own as her body spasm with the familiar pain of being shrunken ten years younger than she should be. Shiho appreciates it, clutching Kudou-kun's hand to help anchor herself from being washed away from the pain.

"Thank you," Kudou-kun whispers once the transformation subsides, voice hoarse and still holding onto her hand like its a lifeline. "For protecting everyone I care about. Protecting me. I…just—" Kudou-kun ducks his head, tone hushed with heartfelt gratitude. "Thank you."

There's guilt mixing in with the gratitude of Kudou-kun's voice. That won't do. While the circumstances were dire, Shiho was the one who decided to reveal herself for being alive. True, she's a target again. But honestly, she's too tired in being afraid all the time and thinks it's best to let it be. With Gin dead, she has a better chance in protecting herself and others so she supposes in retrospect, it's not a too terrible situation to be in.

Shiho flicks Kudou-kun's forehead, smirking at the yelp the detective lets out. "Wasn't even a choice."

"Yeah?" Kudou-kun rubs his forehead with a scowl, brow raised. The guilt in his eyes have lessened from indignation. That's good. "What, like I'm a fact?"

"Exactly that." At the stunned look she receives, Shiho lets her smirk turns teasing. "No matter how absolutely exasperating you are."

"Like you're one to talk," Kudou-kun grumbles out, before his face softens as he folds her hand into his grasp with both of his own. "You should know that it's mutual."

Shiho lets out a very unlady-like snort at that. "As if you'd choose me."

Kudou-kun's priority always has and always will be Mouri Ran. Anybody with a working braincell knows that.

"Oi, oi, you did say it wasn't even a choice for you." There's something like hurt in Kudou-kun's eyes as he looks at her. "What makes you think that it can't be the same for me?"

Shiho honestly doubts that Kudou-kun would ever choose her if there's ever a situation that calls for it and— that's not even adding to the fact that she doesn't need Kudou-kun to play her knight in shining armour. But the hurt in Kudou-kun's expression is making her feel guilty so she decides to humour the detective, looking away as she does so. "...I see."

"Yeah," Kudou-kun whispers, determined and ever stubborn. It makes Shiho feels a sliver of hope in Kudou-kun's words before she quickly locks it away.

There's no use to think about things that aren't meant to be.

Once she's washed up and changed back into the clothes that she wore earlier that night...or is it morning now? (which Kudou-kun was kind enough to retrieve for Shiho before searching out for her), Shiho shuffles out of the restroom and gratefully lets Kudou-kun guides her by the hand back to where everyone is. Thankfully, the apoptoxin has healed the majority of her wounds, including the bruises around her neck. Shiho knows it's a relief for Kudou-kun as well since he had flinched so badly when he first saw it. Kinda odd since Kudou-kun has probably seen far worse; being a homicide detective and all.

"We're gonna live, y'know? All of us." Kudou-kun turns bright, determined eyes to her and says firmly. "Both of us."

Lips quirking into a wry smile, she tightens her hold on Kudou-kun's hand. "Together?"

"Always," Kudou-kun promises, grin rivalling the sun that's peaking over the horizon as they walk out of the hotel.

Shiho laughs and follows Kudou-kun into the light.

[remy-roll-writes]

This is the first time I post an English fanfiction- please give me advice! I need it- it's a drabble I did. Aaron Adams x Kudou Michiya (kinda-)

"Dear Kudou,

I can't think about anything else but you. You probably noticed. This should be the 60th letter if I remember well. Do you even read them? Or do you just throw them away? Just please somehow tell me if you don't want them. I'll stop right away. It's just that I really love you. I know I said this a lot but that's just how it is. Kudou, how is your daughter? If I remember well, she should be almost 16 years old. Time goes fast, huh? I still remember the day how we first met. You probably regret it that you accepted the invitation. But you couldn't know I would be so clingy. I'm sorry, Kudou.

This time I put an orange tea for you. I hope you drink at least some tea from me.

Love Aaron Adams."

I sighed when I closed the envelope. I'm almost losing hope. When I opened the front door, to send the letter away, the mail man already stood there. He gave me some letters and I gave him mine. "You already tried so long... I still wish you luck." The mail man already knows where to send my letters. I thanked him with a forced smile and closed the door. I threw myself on the couch and looked at the letters. For a moment I couldn't believe my eyes. There was a letter from Kudou Michiya. I put off my monocle and looked closer. The letter really was from Kudou. I opened it quickly. There was a red card in the envelope. On the card was a hear formed picture with Kudou and another man. "We're going to marry!" Was written under it. I thought it was a joke but when I opened the card there was an invitation to his wedding. My hands started shaking. How could he do this to me? I threw the card on the table in front of me, put my face in my still shaking hands and tried so hard not to break out in tears. He could have told me he's already taken. I would've been happy for him. And that's why I'm going to accept the invitation. I want to see him. I want to see him smile. Even if it hurts me to see the other person.

(@gracyfangirl2020 you wanted a tag? Here is it ;;)

[gisachi]

i'm a sucker for shouji romance so I'm choosing the cheesiest ones, how about 25 or 28 for Shinran? You can do both if you feel like it

Aaand I’ll do both.✌🏼Thank you for the request, Anon! Hope this gives you some shoujo romance feels~

25. Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain. 28. One person tracing the other’s lips with a fingertip until they can’t resist any longer, tilting their chin towards them for a kiss. (2,024 words)

.

.

.

Most people associate rain with melancholy or despair or some negative emotion, but Ran doesn’t.

Rain makes her happy. Every pitter-patter is a replay of the splashing puddles and excited footfalls as they played barefoot in the Kudou mansion yard. She got a cold because of that, but that didn’t stop them, being the reckless children that they were, for immediately after she recovered he invited her to play outside again and they did, and it was fun.

Every umbrella is a reminder of the navy blue one he offered back in junior high, because she forgot hers and it was pouring hard and she needed to meet with her mother soon. She wouldn’t have taken it had she known he didn’t have an extra, but he’s more stubborn than she was, so she decided she’d just make up for it by promising a win in her first amateur karate match, the one he was always rooting her for. She didn’t win, and it was sad, but then the same umbrella shielded her from the heavy downpour as she slumped by the gym steps, sobs obscured by thunders, and he held it for her despite getting soaked himself.

“I got this earlier,” he revealed a packet of chocolate from his bag. He didn’t really like sweets, but his secret admirers always kept them coming.

“They insisted so I took it.” He ripped the wrapper with his teeth and free hand, then gave it to her, “You like this flavor right?”

“But that’s for you.”

“Yes, and I decide what I want to do with it. I’m giving it to you.”

“But...I still owe you...”

“You don’t owe me anything, Ran. Now wipe your nose, your snot is showing.”

“Mou, Shinichi!”

For years, in the rain, his presence always lingers, as if he’s obliged himself to be with her in those moments, making sure she always has an umbrella. Every droplet is a witness to their friendship that blossomed and flourished into how they are now, and how they shall be. That’s why she cannot hate rain. Because rain means having him around.

Somewhere along the random, sometimes heartfelt conversations they share in their established waiting shed a block away from school, or under the tree by the Beika bridge or the one near their favorite ramen place, all stored in her heart, unforgotten;

Somewhere along the moments where she inadvertently begins memorizing his breathing patterns whenever they run for their lives making futile attempts to remain dry despite raging showers, and they laugh it away, and she loves his laugh, so raw, and real, and she’s happier when she knows she’s the cause of it;

Somewhere along experiencing those littlest things with him, apart from the big things, the comfort, the care, the company;

She realizes she has fallen.

Deep.

What happens when your childhood friend is no longer just your childhood friend?

She doesn’t know.

“Okita-san confessed to me this morning,” she mentions in passing while they dry themselves under the nearest waiting shed they can find, the sudden burst of rain not preparing them, yet again, for another mad dash from the school gate to there.

“Oh.” There is silence, save for the pattering of rain and screeching tires of passing cars. “What did you say?”

“I...don’t know.”

“Heh. What a funny reply to a confession.”

“No, silly!” she says, sucker punching his bicep. “You know I didn’t literally say that.”

He breathes a laugh.

“But, isn’t it nice? That he likes you?”

She smiles, a little forced, and he probably notices, so she gazes far into the sky, watches the rain fall instead.

“I know I might have said that he’s kind, and cute, and the whole school knows it, even him, but I guess... he’s not really the one I’m looking for.”

“Mmm,” he wrings his sleeve, water oozing out, and there’s silence again.

“Who exactly are you looking for?”

She looks at him subtly so he won’t notice.

“Honestly, I wonder.”

Someone who will play with me in the rain and wipe my tears away.

A car runs over a puddle, splattering mud all over Shinichi’s uniform. Ran laughs while Shinichi scoffs.

“Hah! You look pathetic, Shinichi!”

“Very funny,” he pouts, flicking the patches of dirt ruining his sacred white shirt.

“You even have on your... on your face!”

Rejoices when I’m happy, mourns with me when I’m sad.

Still laughing nonstop, she spontaneously wipes with a soaked handkerchief some of the mud that got to the corner of his eyes, cheek, corner of lips.

Someone I’m comfortable being with, in any given circumstance.

Her laughter tapers off into an awkward cough and silence, realizing what she’s doing, touching his face. But her hand doesn’t stop its innocent exploration, as her thumb extends beyond the handkerchief to the plump of his lips, directly feeling his softness, his moistness, and god what is she really doing?

Shinichi doesn’t speak, and instead stares at her, astonished expression in his eyes, but shifts into a calmer, more tender one.

He grips her hand on his face gently, like he has waited for this for a long time.

“Ran?”

She takes a step closer; so does he.

She stares at his lips; so does he.

But then some people arrive at the waiting shed, and Ran backs away, and Shinichi shoves his hands in his pockets.

The rain still falls, but the wind changes its course.

What happens when your childhood friend is no longer just your childhood friend,

and he probably thinks the same?

.

.

Most people associate rain with relief or happiness or some positive emotion, but Shinichi doesn’t.

When it rains, Shinichi thinks of her tears from that day. They were in second grade when he saw her in the playground, sitting alone on the swing under a heavy drizzle without an umbrella. Anyone would think she’s crazy, but not him, as he approached her and found out her mom left their house. The closest female influence in her life leaving home hurt more than whatever sickness she’d get from the rain, and he understood that so he let her cry.

The rain reminds him of her crestfallen face after losing her first karate match. That’s one thing they had in common - they hate losing - and he understood how that must’ve affected her so he let her cry, but made sure he’d make her smile afterwards. The chocolate bar helped.

When it rains, he thinks she’s somewhere out there, sad. He hates it, especially when he has already witnessed the beauty in her smile the first time they played in his yard under the pouring rain. He likes her smile a lot, and he’ll do all he can just to see her smile, every single day.

“Okita-kun confessed to me this morning,” she said a week ago, and he couldn’t get it out of his mind. In their random conversations, she did mention she liked him, twice. And it’s great, he believes, for it’d be a reason for her to cry a little less if he liked her back, too.

Great, really, she should say yes.

“...he’s not really the one I’m looking for.”

Yet that answer made him sigh and praise all angels above.

“Honestly, I wonder.”

Yet that reply made him hope that she stop wondering, and just look at who’s near her. Beside her.

“You even have on your...on your face!”

Yet her radiant laugh did nothing but strengthen his yearning so much, made him want to be the only one who can make her laugh like this, because she’s beautiful, and he liked her smile. A lot.

Her fingertips graced his cheek, brushed his face, stroked his lips, and that made his heart want to explode into million tiny pieces.

“Shinichi?”

He liked the way she said his name, even though she wasn’t smiling and her tone was serious.

He liked how she stepped closer first,

and he liked how she didn’t mind him following suit.

But then some people arrived at the waiting shed, and Ran backed away, and he shoved his hands in his pockets.

The rain still fell, but the wind changed its course.

And he wondered.

Somewhere along the waiting shed conversations, the crying and shoulder leaning sessions, the occasional, spontaneous dances and carefree laughters after willing her tears away under the rain...

Perhaps it’s more than just her smile that he liked, too.

What happens when your childhood friend is no longer just a childhood friend?

He didn’t know.

He wanted to know.

//

Shinichi hasn’t been listening to forecasts lately; he’s just deducing what the weather will be, and today, for the ninth time, he gets it wrong.

But they’re so used to this scenario, and they don’t hate it one bit, he knows because lately instead of tears he sees smiles from her most of the time as they run on puddles intentionally and sprint short distances without anymore covering their heads with their bags because who cares?, and man does that make him much happier, to see her this happy, with him.

Beautiful. She’s always beautiful when she smiles. Her pearly white teeth the bright clouds in a gray sky, the effective stop gap to all negative emotions he associates with the weather.

Somehow, that makes him want to touch her face like how she did a week ago, so he does.

“...and I laughed so hard because sensei heard Sonoko say that! I mean-...Shinichi?” She flushes, pauses her story.

“What? Keep talking,” he says, caressing her face as if it’s completely normal for him to do so.

“I can’t really talk much, with um, your...on my lips,” she mumbles, soft and shy, her cheeks turning red, the only red he can see amongst the paleness of the sky and pavement and really, it’s like she’s radiating her color everywhere.

He smiles gingerly. “I’m getting even for last week.”

“Last week, huh,” she says, disguising her nervousness with a chuckle.

“...Shinichi?”

"Yeah?”

“Is it..uh...weird…?”

“What is?”

“I don’t know…I’m...”

“It’s not,” he chuckles, too. “...Is it?”

If anything, this is the closest he’s gotten to comfort.

“N-no...I think, um...you’re right.” She blushes more. “It’s actually kinda...nice.”

He’s just repeating what she did last week.

But what she didn’t do…

What do you do when she’s no longer just a childhood friend?

You tell her.

“Ne. Ran.”

“Hm?”

“If I confess to you right now, will you say ‘I don’t know’?”

“Shin-Shinichi!” she flushes harder. He laughs.

“Ran?”

“Yes?”

“I’m really gonna do it.”

“...”

When she’s no longer just a childhood friend, you have to admit it to her soon.

“Ran, I...”

Somehow, this makes the most sense.

It’s not just her smile that he likes, but the fact that she’s the one wearing it. It’s not the rain that drowns him, but her eyes when they’re filled with tears, so when she isn’t crying he’s never really hated rain. He likes it now. So it has come to this.

“I’m in love with you.”

She gasps.

Don’t just tell her. Show her.

“Shinichi, I…”

He tilts her chin up; she lets him.

His face inches closer; hers does, too.

Seal your truth with a kiss.

Their lips touch.

Cold, damp, tastes like rain.

Brief, sweet, warms his heart.

Even the briefest second is eternity, but he wants thousands of eternities, so when they separate, he goes back again, tastes the rain on her lips - in her lips - again, and again, and she must have wanted thousands of eternities too because she has her hands on his chest now, clutching his shirt, no plans of letting go; nevermind the fact that they’re soaking wet and he needs to get home and be warm, because he is home and she’s his warmth.

And if she says it back,

They slowly let go, unmoving, stabilizing their breaths. They stare at each other, eyes glimmering not from tears but from light, a different light, because in that moment they’re childhood friends no longer.  

“I...I think I am, too.”

kiss her again.

He does.

.

.

.

[sternentinte]

Emogust - 14.08.|In which character A. protects character B. from danger

He gets the box.

Heiji is in an appropriate state of panic—Kudou disappeared, was taken away by his mother that doesn’t exist (read: Edogawa Fumiyo) and Neechan doesn’t even know it yet. She’ll know soon though, as soon as she realizes that what she just perceives as a weeklong break in between her boyfriend’s more or less regular phone calls, is in fact a perhaps permanent stop.

Heiji dreads this happening, but he knows it’s coming. What he doesn’t know is what the hell is actually going on, and no matter what he tries he can’t figure out where Kudou is and for what reason he doesn’t know.

What he knows is that a) the little neechan from the professor’s house is missing, too, and b) said professor doesn’t know what happened either. It is strange because Heiji knows that the professor is Kudou’s number one confidant. More important than Heiji (even though that hurts a little) and more important than Neechan (but that’s because he insists on not telling her things to protect her. Ridiculous, in Heiji’s opinion. If there’s one girl that can defend herself it’s Neechan. Except for Kazuha, of course, he amends. Kazuha might be even better at it, if only because she’s not as nice.)

He still decides to go to Tokyo though, because there is no way he is going to give up on his friend, on his best friend, and that is where he gets the box.

“I was debating on whether I should show you this”, Professor Agasa says, his face tired and years older than the last time Heiji saw him. It’s scary in a way.

“What is it?”, he asks, eager for information, for any information on what happened. He wants to do something, dammit.

“This.”, Agasa says, and puts a box on the table. It’s made from cardboard and not exactly tiny, but also not huge. It seems like something that would contain old CDs or maybe letters. The more interesting part of it is how it’s covered all over in duct tape. And the little note on top of the cover.

Professor, give this to Hattori-kun ONLY if my or Haibara’s body is found.

“I probably shouldn’t be giving this to you”, he says, and the guilt is obvious in his every motion.

“But surely, this also counts?”, he mumbles, more to himself than to Heiji, “They disappeared, and the Black Organisation is after them… I can’t even track Shinichi-kun’s glasses.”

So maybe whoever took them knew about the glasses, Heiji’s brain suggests, making the deduction near automatically, or he left them behind purposefully.

“You don’t have to take it.”, the professor says, “maybe you shouldn’t open it until-” His voice almost breaks. “-until the conditions are met. It seems so serious, but-”

“I’ll take it.”, Heiji says. This is what he needs. He needs some way to make this right.

-

He opens the box as soon as he is home. Some of the contents he understands immediately, others not so much. But either way, he knows what this is. Evidence. Evidence, little signs and theories, names, and information. It’s a lot, but it also isn’t because surely there must be more information that Kudou could compile about this organisation in almost a year, but there isn’t. So maybe he didn’t. It’s a terrifying thought, because Kudou is brilliant, maybe the best detective Heiji knows—probably better than himself, even though he never would have said that out loud. Not before for sure.  

This is a treasure, he decides, because he has a hunch that this might be more than anyone else knew about this organisation, ever, without being a part of it. This is a treasure and he will make sure he will use it to his best capacity. And if it’s the last thing he does.

“Heiji!”, Kazuha calls from the hall and Heiji hurries to hide the box and its contents before she enters the room.

“Did you just get home?”, she asks, looking at the jacket he’s still wearing. He didn’t even notice he forgot to take it off.

“Seriously, where were you?”, Kazuha asks, “I went looking for you.”

“I was just looking into a case.”, Heiji lies and that’s how it starts.

-

The more Heiji looks into the material, the more he realises he can’t do this the way Kudou did it. He can’t be a teen detective going over his head. He feels the deadliness of his secrets and it haunts him in his sleep. He can’t get himself killed, or disappeared, or whatever, because then he can’t find Kudou.

He needs to find Kudou.

(He feels guilty every time he has to tell Neechan he’s trying. She still looks so hopeful.)

He can’t do this on his own—but he can’t pull anyone else into this. He needs to be better.

-

Kazuha confesses to him a couple of weeks before they graduate high school. It’s almost been a year now and Heiji hasn’t made a lot of progress—not enough. It’s right after the Gosho Girl’s first concert—at Ran’s school—and it was a huge success. Heiji is so happy for them, not only because they have found something for themselves but because Neechan looks happier than he has seen her in a long time.

Then Kazuha says it. They are in the small room that constitutes backstage and somehow, they are the only ones there—Heiji doesn’t quite understand how, but it’s not what’s important there.

“Heiji”, she says, so carefully and quietly, as if they are the most important words in the world. Maybe they are.

“Heiji, I am in love with you.”

Heiji’s heart soars and he is so happy, so, so happy, but at the same time his heart breaks.

“I wish you didn’t say that.”, he says, because it’s honest and he can’t bring himself to say, “I don’t feel the same way.” Because that’s a lie and Heiji’s still terrible at lying, especially to Kazuha.

“Why?”, Kazuha says and he can see the tears forming in her eyes and he hates himself.

He finds himself being honest again. “Because I can’t be your boyfriend.”

“Why?”, Kazuha says, her voice raising, half-angry, half-upset.

He shrugs unhappily, because he doesn’t know what to tell her. He’s given up on the idea, he doesn’t quite know when, it was a gradual process. He finally understands why Kudou lied to Neechan like that, it’s for the same reason. And Heiji can’t do that to Kazuha, he can’t bring himself to. Even if he can’t tell her the secrets, for her own good, he can’t make himself lie. And if he has made it his goal to do this, no matter what it takes, he can’t be her boyfriend. Because if he was, he fears, he won’t be able to make himself do it the way it needs to.

And he has to learn from Kudou’s mistakes. (He can’t disappear on his girlfriend because they are getting to close. He can’t get himself killed either.)

-

Heiji starts training for the PSIA immediately after graduation. It’s not what he wanted, originally, he had always wanted his own agency somewhere, be a detective on his own terms, but this is the way he needs to go if he wants to solve the secrets in the box. He needs to be smart about it, and this is the best way.

Kazuha forgives him even before they graduate.

“Why?”, he asks, because he honestly can’t fathom any reason he’d deserves it.

“Because you’d kill yourself on accident if I wasn’t there to look out for you.” She shrugs like it is the most obvious thing in the world.

He isn’t sure if it’s the real reason, but he is glad either way.

They move to Tokyo together, Heiji for his training, Kazuha for the band, and naturally, they share their apartment. Heiji’s so glad she is there, because without her, this awful city might kill him, even sooner than any idiocy on his part that Kazuha might like to cite. So maybe she is right, after all.

They are good as roommates because they are good as friends, always were, but sometimes it hurts, because Heiji knows it’s not quite what he wants. Still, he’s glad he has a familiar face to come back to at the end of the day and he knows Kazuha is happy—the band is doing so well—even if in the back of his head he wonders if she would be happier.

Heiji’s training is awful, especially at first. They take him in easily, he has a good track record with all the work he’s done as a high schooler, but at heart, he’s not the right kind of person to be an agent. He’s a terrible liar and a worse actor and he doesn’t do well at hiding his emotions at all.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”, his educator asks him at the end of the first week.

“You are a smart kid, I can tell, but maybe you’d be better off somewhere else. This kind of work rips good people apart all the time. There are other ways you can do good.”

Heiji looks at him and he knows the guy is right. He’s trying to do him a favour and he’s right because this is not what Heiji was made for. But it is what he will make himself be made for, because he has no choice.

“I have to do this.”, he says, and the educator nods, sadly, tiredly, like he’s heard it too many times before.

-

The next day, he gets a phone call from the professor.

The new envelope has a computer stick in it; the data heavily encrypted. But that’s not important—well it is—but not as much as the handwriting on it.

Add it to the box.

Kudou is still somewhere out there. And Heiji can’t disappoint him.

-

More envelopes come, sporadically as much as irregularly, over the years as Heiji rises in the ranks. They rarely put him out to do field work; somehow, he has come to be better at gathering data, trying to make sense of it. Maybe that’s because it’s what he’s been doing all the time. Trying to make sense. No matter what the others say, he still doesn’t feel like he’s very good at it.

While he tries to make himself be the person who can do this, Kazuha and the girls take off.

One concert becomes many and then they release their first album. Heiji is so proud of them. By now, he can almost smile at Neechan again.

After their album comes a Japan-wide tour and Heiji misses Kazuha terribly while she’s gone. When she comes back, he wants to kiss her, but he doesn’t, and they watch a silly movie together instead, and she tells him about all the places she went and the people she’s met. It’s not quite what he wants, but it’s still pretty good.

He tries not to be jealous when she goes on dates, but he’s pretty sure she notices anyway.

-

It’s been three and a half years when the pieces finally start coming together. It’s not only Kudou’s information by now, but a mixture of that and his own investigation, gathered information, small hunches, his people’s observation, suspicious news stories. It all comes together, and he starts seeing the enormous web he’s caught.

It’s only a matter of time now.

(Oh, how he hopes it is—he is so tired. He works with his old educator sometimes, and the man looks at him too knowingly. It’s the same look Kazuha gives him when he comes home and feels like he’s dead inside—no matter what he does he’s still not made for this job. But he can do it and he’s so close.)

It’s two months later when he finds them. The FBI finds them first, but that doesn’t matter—not really, anyway, but they’re alive and Heiji wants to stand on Tokyo Tower and yell it into the world, but that wouldn’t be a very good strategy, so he doesn’t.

He pulls a few strings (more like a thousand and his gut slowly out of his mouth, at least that’s what it feels like—the FBI is crazy protective) to organise a meet up.

Kudou looks tired. He looks different and weak, like he’s sick maybe, like he has been for a long time.

But then he looks up and his eyes are the same.

Heiji throws himself at him with a hug. They never were friends that hug, but does it matter now?

“Hattori.”, Kudou says, when he’s finally let go, “How?”

“I am the PSIA contact that has info on your organisation.”, Heiji explains, like it’s the natural thing.

He pulls out his folder, then the box.

Kudou looks at it, like it invokes mixed feelings.

“You weren’t supposed to get that-“

“Not unless I found yours or that little neechan’s dead body, I know. I have it anyway and I think I did a pretty good job with it.”

Kudou sighs.

Then he looks up. “You don’t figure you might have seen our cat, have you?”

-

It takes them about a month to compare notes. Technically it’s Heiji taking Kudou’s witness report, but they both know that’s garbage. Even though the critical part is not quite done yet, Heiji feels as if a weight has been lifted off his chest.

Kazuha notices, too.

“You’re doing better.”, she says one night, when Heiji almost falls asleep watching the News the third time this week.

“Eh?”, he asks. Him being crazily tired from work usually doesn’t count as him doing better in her books.

“You’re smiling.”, she says, matter-of-factly, but she’s smiling, too.

“Oh.”, he says. “Work is going well.”

She nods and doesn’t ask further. Heiji tells himself he’s not lying to her, just omitting the truth. It’s been his policy this far, or maybe always—don’t lie to Kazuha, keep your secrets if you must. He’s sure she knows there’s more to it, but she won’t ask him about work. She’s not cruel enough to.

“You know”, Kazuha says, and snuggles into his side as they sit next to each other on the couch, “I feel like things are changing, for all of us.”

“What do you mean?”, he asks, even if he feels like he already knows, but those are things Kazuha can’t know, never could guess.

“’M not sure.”, she says, yawning, “For all of us though. You, me, Ran-chan, Aoko-chan, Sonoko-chan. Something’s changing.”

“Think it’ll be good?”

She looks at him, and she’s so close, and Heiji wants to kiss her, but he doesn’t.

“I hope so.”, she says.

“Me too.”

-------- @mintchocolateleaves, @sup-poki