#I kind of modeled her after my younger self

[zzeraphilm]

Fight For Me (II)

Part one Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader (GN) word count: 3,803 Summary: When industries collide, Kuroo is reunited with the one that got away. But nobody is pleased to see each other.

“Oh Y/N!” Alisa Haiba screeched, bringing her old friend into a hug. “I’m so glad you took the role! Ah I can finally have a friend amongst my team.” 

With a laugh, Y/N only rubbed their friend’s back lightly, not to crease her outfit that will soon be shot in the new YSL photoshoot. It had been back in Melbourne did Y/N L/N and Alisa Haiba became acquaintances. At first it took Y/N a while to realise how they recognised Alisa, thinking it was just because they saw her face plastered on every major billboard on their way to campus. But the illusive fantasy of a celebrity was shattered when she spoke in her accented English and their high school memories came flashing before their eyes. From that day forward, their worlds collided. 

After a gruelling last ditch push to complete their masters, Y/N was lucky to have Alisa as one of their few friends in Tokyo. Since coming back to Japan, Y/N had forgotten how lonely the city could be. How they would blend into the crowd of faces, becoming another statistic on a long list of residents. They hated the city, they hated how the streets they used to walk down during high school remain untouched, how the faces of the shop owners only grow older, their frowns sagging to the floor. Getting out of Japan felt liberating, to come back to it all Y/N found themselves wallowing in the same self-pity that they found themselves suffering with during their teen years. Alisa was a reminder of the world outside of the city, she allowed Y/N to follow her on trips and try new exciting things to brighten their full life. When Alisa became the face of YSL Japan and her modelling career expanded beyond Asia, Y/N was thrilled to join their friend at the request to be her assistant public relations secretary. 

If I could get Alisa to be the most known face across the globe, I can finally start my life again, out of Tokyo. 

The desire to finally leave Japan behind, leave their past behind and explore the world beyond. Maybe, that could get rid of the sour taste in Y/N’s mouth every time they thought of Tokyo. 

Despite their extensive years in academia, books could not compare to reality. Piles and piles of paperwork, emails and meetings meant Y/N lived and breathed the Haiba siblings. Being a part of Alisa’s PR team meant being a part of Lev’s, it was a given to see the fellow Nekoma alumni at work. At first, Y/N was resentful. Nekoma was supposed to be long past them, just a floating memory of guilt and regret. Lev was advised by his sister to not pester Y/N about high school, about anything related to Nekoma especially anything about Kuroo. The first few months with the Haiba siblings were stressful. Lev was growing increasingly popular amongst younger fans, booking him on daytime television to speak about his latest projects was a breeze. More fans meant more fan meets and thus more work for Y/N. 

More work means bigger reach, and getting even closer to leaving.

With winter around the corner, Y/N knew there would be an exponential growth in events that would need to be covered. Press conferences, online campaigns, brand collaborations. Whenever Y/N closed their eyes, all they could see was the Haiba siblings plastered on the inside of their eyelids. Amidst the pile of work, Y/N noticed a oddly hand written note; 

‘Please please pleaseeee consider this one! I wanna work with Kenma and Chibi-chan T^T’ 

Lifting up the sticky note, the title page screamed out to Y/N. 

“Bouncing Ball Corp ft. Hinata Shoyo and Lev Haiba.” 

“Helloo~”

“Where’d you get this plan from? Who gave it to you? Is this some kind of joke? You’re a high end luxury brand model with limited television guest appearances, what makes you think I’d let you represent sports now?” Y/N’s voice boomed into the phone, causing Lev’s eardrums to burst and bleed from the noise shattering scolding on the other end of the call. 

“Kenma gave it me! He said his team told him it would be good to reach out to other famous people who knew!” He whined.

It was partially the prospect of being with Kenma and Hinata again, but more so, he craved the feeling of slamming a volleyball with his bare hands again. After years of maintaining his pristine image, his calloused hands had smoothened out, as soft as a baby’s bum. He was yearning for the thrill of the game again. 

“No. This proposal makes no sense anyways. Who even wrote this?” 

“Well it was someone on Kenma’s side! Anyways, he’s got a hugeee following on Youtube and Twitch! All people talk about on Twitter is his stuff! Y/N you’ve always wanted a big international gig, and I’ve found us one! Please, please, please, pleaseeee!” If Lev wasn’t in public he would’ve been on his knees begging, kissing Y/N’s feet till they said yes.

Indeed, all Y/N needed now was a major international break for the siblings, if they could book either a global brand ambassador position or an American modelling debut, then Y/N could finally relocate to anywhere but Japan. The Tokyo smog blocked their lungs each daily commute to work, the buildings never changed and the familiar scents of old stores and parks they used to frequent as a student became sickening. 

“Give me Kodzuken’s contacts and we’ll see.”

It was a wild goose chase to get the right person to contact. Email, after email. More and more useless contacts that lead Y/N to no helpful responses. Different representatives of Kodzuken and Hinata Shoyo till finally the Japanese Volleyball Association. After two weeks of this ordeal, Y/N was finally sent through to the person in charge of organising the project. But of all people, it just so happened to be Kuroo Tetsurou. Shit. 

Despite getting to chase around his old volleyball rivals across the world for scouting, interviews and just regular catch ups. Kuroo hated the mundane parts of his job, emails and project meetings. Managers up his arse about deadlines. His fingers were beginning to cramp into a contorted version of itself with all the typing he had to endure. He swore his email page was burned into the scleras of his eyes. 

Ping. 

Another one to the read later pile. It was fifteen minutes till the end of his shift, he wasn’t going to stay for overtime this week, he had made plans with Kenma tonight. After weeks of rejection, the self-made entrepreneur finally was willing to leave his room to grab a drink with his long time friend. Before he could shut off his monitor, he read the Sender’s name.

L/N Y/N. 

Holy fuck. 

He thought he had buried the last sparks of affection he had for Y/N the morning they blocked them. But no, like a phoenix, the embers within him burst into an inferno. Nothing could quench the burning desire he held inside. Kuroo had forgotten where he was, he was no longer stuck in a mechanical cubicle with the robotic tapping of keyboards echoing throughout the room. He was back in his Nekoma uniform, back with Y/N by his side. He could smell them, touch them and most of all kiss them. Their laugh was ringing in his head, he was high on their perfume. Kuroo begs to any mighty power above him or anyone who could hear his heart, for his yearning to cease. He thought he could leave it all behind but his body, no his soul calls for Y/N. 

A few clicks was all it took and he plummeted to the pitiful man he once was without Y/N. His eyes darted at the few sentences, he could hear Y/N’s echoing in his head reading to him.

I hope this email finds you well…Lev Haiba…with Bouncing Ball Corp…please contact me…best regards L/N Y/N. 

By some wicked power that festered inside him, Kuroo saw this as a sign from the universe. Finally letting Y/N back into his life. He could once again feel true happiness, the love that had left his heart with a gaping void for the last few years. 

Within a few weeks, each team was able to schedule the first table reading for the promotional video. The main plan to have it filmed over a course of two weeks, just in time before the Olympics in Tokyo. Time was of the essence and the only reason why Y/N was pushing themselves to succeed in this collar was the promise of a better life for themselves. The table reading was in a spacious meeting room curtesy of the Japanese Volleyball Association, the room stretched far beyond any hall Y/N had seen before. A titanic monitor casts its shadow over the table, a long aisle of varied refreshments framed the corners of the room. The chairs were individually cushioned, the carpet was soft with the richest woven fibres from the farthest corners of the world.

Y/N had arrived with Lev and multiple representatives from his team, Kuroo was stood under the frame of the entrance door, his jaw ajar. To Kuroo Tetsurou the mere sight of Y/N took his breath away, all he wished to do was run as fast as his legs could take him and embrace them with the strength of a thousand suns. Claiming them to be his all over again. He didn’t notice that Y/N’s face was getting closer and closer towards him, till they were stood shoulder to shoulder, face to face. 

“Mr. Kuroo, a pleasure to be working with you.” Y/N held out their rigid hand.

“…Y/N,” he whispered, as if saying their name aloud was punishable by death. 

“My name is L/N. I expect you to refer to me as such. We will see you inside.” Five seconds. Their reunion lasted five seconds, Kuroo couldn’t help but watch Y/N’s figure walk away, the closest he’s ever been to them, and all he can have in return is the sight of their back. 

“My god, they’re as beautiful as the day I lost them.” Kuroo uttered. 

The meeting went as smoothly as planned. Any issues were discussed thoroughly and everyone was confident in the project. But Kuroo paid no attention to any of it. His eyes could not keep off of Y/N. The way they’d speak so eloquently, unlike how childish they were in high school. He admired Y/N’s new found maturity, this chic version of his love, he was still entranced by their allure years after their split. However, his eyes would dart to the presence of Lev Haiba next to Y/N. A deeply rooted feeling of jealousy to the boy he once considered his underling. The Haiba siblings could see and be around Y/N every waking hour, yet the only time he had with them within his reach, lasted only five seconds. It wasn’t fair. He had assumed that Y/N had no more ties to Nekoma, so the thought of Y/N never cross his mind, till now. Seeing them beside Lev Haiba, sparked a new fire within his chest. Distant memories would flash in Kuroo's mind, younger versions of themselves, a first year Lev begging to meet and be around Y/N, his partner of three years. Jokes that he would push aside, confirming how Y/N was separate to volleyball and he had no intentions of merging these two sides of him. Yet there they were, in union with each other. Y/N and volleyball. He felt sick. 

“I understand that the sport is the focus of this project, but we mustn’t ignore the everyday audience who aren’t fans of the sport.” Y/N spoke with a tinge of spite, they never mentioned the sport by name. In case the moment they uttered its name, they would be shackled down to its legacy for all of eternity. 

“Lev is the public’s rising heartthrob, for both his looks and his humour, use it.” 

“Aw! Thank you Y/N!” The half-russian man tried to coddle Y/N only to be pushed back into his seat by them.

Kuroo Tetsurou was torn. He wished to be the one to coddle Y/N. He hated how formal this all was, never had he thought of Y/N as this pragmatic android that spouted the same endless bullshit his co-workers would repeat. He wanted to see them laugh again, he wanted to bring them crying on their knees from tears of laughter. Maybe if he did that stupid impression of their father that always made them laugh, maybe then Y/N would go back to how they were in school. 

The meeting came to a close and the rounds of production was set in stone. Kuroo’s work continued to pile, he couldn’t stay on set with the boys anymore than a day and any moment he did have on set, Y/N was never there. Filming ceased and everyone returned to their original teams, muttering away on their desktops and laptops to meet the deadline their bosses’ had set. Lev Haiba went back to modelling for big brands, Kenma increased the number of live-streams in the weeks forward after having a week off for filming. Whilst Hinata was preparing the announcement of him joining the Japanese National team.

Kuroo was stuck in his monotone cubicle again. The sight of his friends succeed in things beyond the mundane 9 to 5, that he was a  slave to, was not an idea that came to mind at first. Originally, he loved the thrill of working behind sports promotion. But now, as a settled employee, he felt his life drain by the second. Only the thought of Y/N pushed him, once the project is uploaded and succeeds, he could see them at the celebratory party. If everything goes to plan. Then he could finally speak to them. Apologise. Tie everything up in a pretty bow so he could feel, complete. 

The promotional video saw millions of views and trending hashtags across multiple social medias. They had, of course, prepared for this case. Releasing behind the scenes content, exclusive photographs and interacting with online fans.

It was as Y/N had planned, down to the T. It was like a weight was lifted off their shoulders, they knew within a few days the money would come rolling in through sponsors and new deals for their company. The Japanese Volleyball Association along with Bouncing Ball Corp allowed the teams to work in a private office space for the collaboration to increase cross communication. Y/N had spent night after night working endlessly on multiple PR plans that would cover all of Lev’s possible mishaps. The moment everything succeeded, they crashed. Their face plummeted to the keyboard and drifted into a deep slumber.

Y/N was at the entrance of Nekoma High, their uniform was slightly creased because they forgot to iron their shirt the night before. First day of high school and they already felt nauseous. They hated how their uniform sat on their frame, they hated how they had they ended up in a school where most of their old middle school classmates joined them. They felt stuck in an endless cycle of the same boring, mundane life they always lived. 

“Ya gonna go in?” 

The light spring breeze blew the tall boy’s black hair to fly upwards, revealing his other eye. He quickly flattened it to hide his forehead. He looked ridiculous, his jumper was slightly too big for him, his parents probably went a few sizes up awaiting for his eventual growth spurt. 

“L/N c’mon, let me copy your English homework! Just this once!” Kuroo pleaded, training behind Y/N like a cub to its mother. 

“Kuroo this is the fourth time! Remember last time, the teacher called your mom in for a meeting about you cheating!”

The boy had grown to tower over Y/N now, he was freakishly taller than the day they first met. His long limbs made him be twice as fast as well. “I’d much rather get told off for copying than get told off for bringing nothing at all.” 

With a huff, Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle. Their dynamic was a breath of fresh air for Y/N, who previously was so used to an isolated world. But by Kuroo’s side, Y/N felt like they belonged. Somewhere within Kuroo’s circle, Y/N had a place fit just for them. 

Kuroo would always tell people that he asked Y/N out first, that he prepared a romantic dinner at his place and popped the question as if it was their last night on earth. In truth, Y/N caught him amidst his plans and cut him to the chase. But Kuroo Tetsurou, the ever-so secret romantic, wanted everyone to believe that he swept them off their feet. 

“If we’re going to be together we’ve got to do good morning and good night texts,” he huffed whilst Y/N’s arms cradled him into a tight embrace. They laughed in response for his childish acts, as a way to get back on ruining his plans on asking them out, Kuroo insisted on being as romantic as he could be with them. Holding hands, spooning, kisses in public. He didn’t care for the stares, he didn’t care for the whispers. He was happy. Y/N was happy. 

“Y/N,” Kuroo’s face was so close yet each time Y/N reached out their hand, it faded into nothingness. 

“Y/N! Y/N!” He kept calling their name yet Y/N couldn’t reach him. 

“Tetsu?”

A sudden jolt caused Y/N to shoot back up, their shoulders were covered with a distinct black jacket. Beside them was of course, the man who emerged straight from their dreams. Kuroo Tetsurou.

“Sorry but, they’re shutting the building soon. You shouldn’t sleep here, it’ll hurt your back. I know that very well,” he chuckled beneath his breath. 

Y/N hadn’t realised this before, but Kuroo’s eye bags had sunken deeper into his face. He had more noticeable crows feet and the wrinkles between his eyebrows had settled in already, quite concerning for a man still as young as him. He had changed his cologne again. He went back to the faint powdery scent, with hints of elderflower. The cologne Y/N bought him for their second anniversary. They didn’t know they still made that scent. His hands were still as calloused as they were years ago, bulging veins decorated his wrists and forearms. He maintained his built form, Y/N could see it through his button up shirt. He hadn’t changed much but was still an entirely different person.

“I was just tired Kuroo.” Y/N shimmied out of the man’s coat to return it, but Kuroo remained still. 

“It’s weird to hear you call me that.” He chuckled, “I was always Tetsu to you.”

“Yeah well that was when we were kids.” 

Kuroo smiled, a sad empty smile that held the years of regret that he harboured. Kids in love, he thought. 

“I’m going home now, thanks for waking me.” Before Y/N could step out of the office door, Kuroo grabbed their wrist. He knew this was the last time he would ever see them, he sensed it. The moment they walk out that door it’ll be over. He had to fight, it was now or never.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I’m sorry for how I treated you all those years ago. I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention to you. I’m sorry I was never there for you.” 

Disgusted. Pained. Relieved. Scared. Y/N’s stomach felt like a pit of snakes colliding into each other, trying to consume one another but failing miserably. Kuroo Tetsurou was a shell of a man now, the pain of heartbreak that lasted an eternity was killing his body slowly. He hadn’t mourned Y/N properly. He hadn’t mourned their relationship properly. 

“Why?”

“Huh- What?” Kuroo asked, dropping his grip on Y/N.

“After all these years. Why are you apologising to me now.” You could hear a pin drop from the deafening silence between the two.

“Because I love you. I’ve always loved you Y/N, I won’t ever stop loving yo-“

“Shut up.” This was straight out of teenage Y/N’s dreams, the Kuroo Tetsurou who was begging them to stay. The Kuroo Tetsurou that they used to cling to in hopes of a final embrace. He was finally right in front of Y/N. With glassy eyes, proclaiming his undying love to them, his body craving Y/N’s own. He was right there, and he was pathetic. 

“You don’t get to talk to me like that. If you did love me, you would’ve done this the night we ended it. But no, you barely said anything to me. In fact what you did, hurt me more than our actual split. You left me. You left me alone. Not just in our time together. I was never included in any part of your life beyond me. Despite being together for three years, I was completely, utterly alone." Warm tears that Y/N had suppressed for years began to arise from the dead. 

“I thought you wanted me by your side, that you needed me because I had a place in your life. But you proved me wrong time and time again! I came second to everything in your life! Not once did I feel like a person to you. You took me for granted.” 

It was like a slap in the face for Kuroo Tetsurou, he hadn’t realised it till now. In his eyes, Y/N was someone he once wanted to possess, to have and hold forever. He saw them just like his old pair of glasses he lost down the coach pillows. It took a few blinks to realise in front of him, was a person who had seen love and loss, found liberation and had it taken away. A person who had worked their life away to see the riches of their hard work. When they were in Nekoma, Y/N would always cheer him on from the sidelines, he thought it was fine. He thought they were okay with just watching them afar, he knew they didn’t really like volleyball but he didn’t care to talk about it anymore. He didn’t care. He didn’t care for having Y/N meet his teammates and hang around them, he wanted to keep them to himself. He didn’t care. His indifference was his demise. After over five years, he realised this. 

“I have lived a thousand lifetimes since I left you. I think it’s time for you to do the same Tetsurou. Stop clinging to the past.”

Kuroo Tetsurou, the man who yearned the joys of his youth, could see clearly now. Y/N didn’t look back at the man. They picked up their bag and stepped out the door. Phone in hand, ready to dial up their friends, to celebrate a life well lived. 

[joelalorian]

Fall Into Me - Chapter Five: My Whole World Came Alive

dbf!Joel x f!reader

Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.

Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.

Word Count: 2.9k

Chapter Warnings: Mature, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. Lots of feelings, confusion, and self doubt. Two idiots falling and pining for each other, and finally some progress. Tommy keeps it real. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname used only by her dad. Emily is modeled after my sister and JB is based on my dad, who used to try setting me up with his younger work buddies when I was in my 20s :)

Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics

Thank you all for reading! Comments and reblogs make me weep with gratefulness.

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Chapter Four | Main Masterlist

Sitting in Phil’s Icehouse with juicy burgers and drinks – you insisted Joel try a mimosa – conversation flowed between the two of you. Joel found his lips twitching into a smile at nearly every word that came out of your mouth. He was fascinated with the stories you shared of your college years, and he listened, completely enraptured, to your plans for the future. Every bit of your lunch together felt like a date. He wondered if you felt the same, yet he couldn’t find the courage to ask outright.

“Yeah, so, I have a meeting at Sarah’s school this week for a possible position. Remember that interview I mentioned a few weeks back? It went really well and now they want me to meet with the teacher who’s retiring and the principal,” you explained, sipping at your mimosa. “I’m pretty excited.”

Joel’s eyes lit up. He’d forgotten that you were looking at a position at Sarah’s school. “Wow, that’s great, darlin’. This would be for a science teacher position, right?”

“Yep. Middle grade science.” The beaming smile you flashed him nearly blinded Joel. “Wanna know the best part? If I get this job, I’ll have the same hours as Sarah, give or take a bit, so I can continue with the school drop-off and pickup for you. She might have to stay later with me somedays, but it’ll still work.”

Nodding, Joel’s mind was flashing lightyears forward, picturing you calling his house home and taking Sarah to school with you, coming home to have dinner together, watching TV in the evenings. Heart thudding in his chest at just the thought of you living together, Joel shook himself. He had to slow his mind down, put the brakes on those kinds of thoughts until after you were actually dating him, at least.

“You could be Sarah’s science teacher in a few years, huh?” Joel asked, focusing once again on listening to you instead of drifting off into daydreams.

“Could be, yeah,” you laughed. “I imagine she’d be my favorite student.”

He beamed at that. Conversation shifted to other things and soon your meals were finished.

“We should do this again,” you said, glassy eyes meeting his across the table, lips curved in a gentle smile. “I really enjoyed spending time with you, Joel.”

Fighting the urge to grab your hand and entangle your fingers, Joel smiled back. “Yeah, me too.” He wanted to kick himself for not saying more, for not asking you out for a real date. He just couldn’t find his words.

How was it that you made him so nervous?

Joel spent the next week in some kind of weird liminal space between a dream and reality, between agonizing confusion and utter happiness. Lunch with you on Sunday felt like a date – he asked you with the intention of it being a date, even if you didn’t know that yet. He spent the week thinking about that lunch, how you teased each other, laughed, shared stories of your past. How your gazes locked for longer than necessary, touches lingered, the smiles never fell from your faces.

It was wonderful, yet nothing was said of what it all meant – which was his fault, probably. Hence the roller coaster of feelings throughout the week.

He could tell you felt it, too. Doing as Tommy suggested, he started paying close attention to how you acted around him, how you looked at him when you thought he wasn’t looking. It was all starting to come together. He could finally see what Tommy was talking about.

You liked him. You really liked him, Joel Miller, overworked single father.

It was a wonderful feeling, knowing that someone liked him. It’d been way too long since he felt that way, that spark of hope for something more.

For the first time in a long time, he slept well the night before and woke early, eager to face the day and see you before heading off to work. He was already out front, filling a birdfeeder Sarah asked for, when you arrived.

“Good mornin’, darlin’,” he greeted, pulling the car door open for you once you parked in the driveway. His heart skipped a beat at the way you smiled up at him, taking his hand to help you out of the car. Your touch electric on his roughened palm.

“Hiya, Joel.” Your voice washed over him, warm as honey and twice as sweet. “Whatcha doing out here?’

Gesturing to the red barn-style feeder Sarah picked, he finished filling it with the wild bird seed the clerk insisted birds loved. “Just fillin’ our new birdfeeder.”

“Oh, what a cute feeder!” You admired the intricate features as it hung from the post Joel installed. “Sarah has been talking nonstop about birds this week. Hopefully we’ll see some good ones.”

“Hope so,” Joel hummed in return. “Don’t know much about birds personally, but I’m sure Sarah’ll teach me.” Your smile brightened at his sheepish grin.

“I have a bird guide I could give her to help identify all the different types that visit the feeder.” Your face lit up with excitement. “I even have binoculars from when I took an ornithology class in undergrad. I’ll bring them when I pick up Sarah this afternoon.”

“Orna what now?” Joel questioned. He had no idea what kind of class you were talking about, but he loved how smart you were.

“Ornithology,” you repeated, drawing out each syllable with a soft giggle. “It’s the study of birds. It was a really cool class. We had field trips around campus once a week to go bird watching. I got pretty good at naming the different species that we saw, but it’s been a while.”

In awe of you, Joel’s eyes crinkled with the strength of his grin. “Would you, uh, maybe want to go on an adventure with us tomorrow?” he asked, stumbling a bit over his words, a nervous energy welling up in his gut as he once again sort of asked you out. “We could go for a hike in the county park, and you could teach us about birds.”

You gazed at him, lips pursed in thought, for long enough that Joel began to fidget, brimming with recurring doubt. Did he misinterpret the signs after all? He wouldn’t be surprised. He wasn’t any good at this stuff anymore. You responded before he could spiral back into the land of self-doubt. “That sounds great, Joel. I’d love to.”

A visceral relief washed through him. “It’s a date then,” he said, his voice deep and rough while his dark chocolate eyes locked with yours. A satisfied smirk graced his lips as your eyebrows rose in surprise. Too quickly, doubt clouded your pretty eyes, and you laughed it off like he was teasing you. Joel sighed. He would be more direct next time. He’d get the hang of asking a woman on a date again someday. Hopefully.

“We’ll have to go early, is that okay? Birds are more active in the early morning hours,” you explained, heading for the door to find Sarah.

“That’s fine. We’ll make a day of it, grab lunch somewhere when we’re done.” Joel followed you into the house, already plotting out conversations in his head on how to properly ask you on a date.

The rest of the day went by in a blur for Joel and before he knew it, the job was finished, and it was only mid-afternoon when he arrived home. You pulled into the driveway with Sarah shortly after him and he came down from taking a shower to find the pair of you on the living room floor playing a racing video game.

“Hi Daddy!” Sarah exclaimed as he kissed the top of her head and took a seat on the couch. It didn’t take long before Sarah asked him to play as well and the three of you were taking turns racing against each other, laughing when one of you crashed.

There were moments, when your gaze would connect with Joel’s and he’d swear you shared the same thought – this was how it could be if you were together, a family.

“Do you want to stay for pizza? Tommy and your dad are coming over,” Joel asked when Sarah’s attention focused elsewhere.

“We have an early morning ahead of us, Miller. Don’t be up late partying with the guys,” you replied with a smile that reached your twinkling eyes. “I’ll stay for a bit, but then I need to go dig out the old binoculars and get my beauty sleep.”

“You’re already beautiful,” he murmured, watching your eyes widen as you smile demurely.

“You say the sweetest things, Joel.” Your voice held a teasing tone that drove Joel nuts. How was he ever going to convince you that he was serious?

Shortly thereafter, Tommy arrived, pizza and beer in hand. “Come on, Millers! I come bearing gifts. JB here yet?”

“I’m right here, ya troglodyte,” your dad called from the front yard, stepping up the porch steps as Tommy whirled around.

“What the hell did you just call me?”

“A troglodyte. Learned it from Spud and thought it fitting since you don’t close doors behind you.” He winked at you as he teased the younger Miller brother. Placing a kiss on your cheek, he added, “Hey Spud, haven’t seen you in a bit. Must be working too hard. Miller! You workin’ my daughter too hard?”

Joel spluttered. He was too busy gazing at you to pay much attention to JB and feared he got busted. “I hardly think so,” he grumbled, fighting the blush he knew rose to his cheeks.

“Ah, in the same ol’ grumpy mood, I see. Maybe this’ll help.” Your dad placed a 12-pack of Joel’s favorite beer on the coffee table before taking a seat in the recliner he always chose at Joel’s place.

The five of you sat around the living room, eating pizza with beer for the men and sodas for you and Sarah. The conversation revolved mainly around construction work, and you ended up taking your leave before the sun dipped below the horizon. Your dad followed not long after, eager to relax in his own well-worn recliner.

“Alright, nugget. It’s time for bed. We have an early morning tomorrow,” Joel said, swinging the young girl over his shoulder much to her delight. “Say goodnight to Uncle Tommy.”

“G’night Uncle Tommy,” Sarah squealed as Joel tickled her sides.

“G’night nugget.”

Always a good kid, Sarah went right to bed after brushing her teeth, but not before pestering Joel about why they had to get up early on a Saturday. Pressing a loving kiss to her forehead, Joel tucked her in. “We’re going on a surprise adventure. Now, to sleep with you.”

Returning to the living room, Tommy handed him another beer as the brothers watched Sportscenter. “Have you made any progress yet?” Tommy asked.

Matching dark eyes met as Joel shrugged. He knew his brother was talking about you. “Some, I guess. Told ya I took her to lunch on Sunday and that felt a lot like a date. I asked her to go on a hike with me and Sarah tomorrow. I told her it was a date after she agreed, but she thought I was jokin’.” He paused, taking a long pull from the bottle of beer. “Then, this afternoon, I told her she was beautiful and again she thought I was teasing.”

Swirling the bottle of beer in his hand, Tommy shook his head and chuckled. “She’s givin’ you a run for your money, brother. Good on her.”

“Good on her,” Joel mocked, but his tone quickly turned to pleading. “I need more advice. Surely you got something up your sleeve for women like her.”

“Nah, brother. The only way to get someone like her is to be yourself and keep chipping away. It’s clear she has as much self-doubt as you do, so it’ll take her time to believe you’re for real.” Tommy eyed his brother a moment as he mulled over the situation. “Though, I will say this. You need to start bein’ direct – come right out and ask her on a date, for fuck’s sake. Enough hinting at shit. It’s clearly gettin’ you nowhere.”

You arrived on the Millers’ doorstep bright and early the next morning, two travel mugs of coffee and a container of chocolate milk in hand. A pair of binoculars and Sibley’s Guide to Birds were tucked away in the bag you wore over your shoulder.

“Wakey, wakey, Millers! The early bird gets the worm!”

Joel and Sarah were perched at the breakfast bar when you let yourself in, both looking half awake and less than enthusiastic about being up so early on a Saturday.

“Too damn cheerful for this early,” Joel grumbled half-heartedly. His pitiful smile looked more like a grimace, yet you found it adorable. It made you ache to run your fingers through his hair until you drew a real smile from his lips.

“Don’t gimme that. This was your idea, Joel Miller!” you sassed in return, patting his broad shoulders. “Let’s go!”

Herding cats, that was the perfect analogy to describe the next fifteen minutes as you tried to get the Millers moving and into Joel’s truck. Just when you’d get one heading for the door, the other would disappear. Finally, you managed to wrangle them both into the truck and you were well on your way to the preserve. The ride didn’t take long, Sarah peppering you with questions about birds she found in your guidebook as Joel drove. By the time Joel pulled into a parking spot at the entrance to the trails, everyone was wide awake and ready to hike.

The morning was crisp and refreshing as you zipped up your jacket and looked around. You’d never been to this preserve before and wanted to find a trail map, but the mini-Miller was too anxious to wait for that.

“I can hear the birds chirping already, Daddy! Come on!” Sarah exclaimed, charging toward the first trail excitedly.

Joel beamed as Sarah took off, turning to you before following her. “Ready?” He reached out a hand, palm up and fingers splayed, inviting you to grasp it.

Your eyes trailed from his outstretched hand to his heavy gaze, uncertain of what to make of the signals Joel gave off. The feelings you harbored for the man grew stronger each day, yet you couldn’t quite get a read on whether he shared even a fraction of those feelings. Somedays, you thought he did. Yet others, you figured he thought you had a crush on him and found amusing. Your heart sunk on those days, causing the doubt to linger every time he did something to make you think otherwise.

The moment carried on too long, you realized, as Joel’s warm eyes began to shutter, the tender smile starting to slip. Bolstering your nerves, you plunged ahead and grasped his large hand in yours, tangling your fingers with his thicker ones. His hand was warm, skin roughened from years of working with his hands, and it felt wonderful against your smoother skin.

Heat flashed up your chest and neck as Joel led you down the trail to catch up with Sarah. A broad smile never left your lips as you walked.

“I meant it, you know,” Joel’s deep, gruff voice rumbled from deep in his chest and you glanced up to meet his gaze. “What I said yesterday, about this being a date. If that’s something you’re interested in.”

Heart thumping wildly, your mouth opened and closed a few times before you found your words. “Are you sure? I mean, yes. Yes, I’m interested.” You winced at how flustered you sounded, tripping over your words. And, worse yet, why was your voice so squeaky?

“Never been surer in my life,” Joel confirmed, his gaze searing your skin as he watched you, taking in every minute change in expression. His hand squeezed yours gently, steadying the butterflies in your stomach.

“I would really like that,” you replied breathlessly, relieved to finally have confirmation that the moments between you and Joel weren’t all in your head. You were on Cloud 9 until reality smacked you in the face. “But what about my dad?”

Sarah popped around a copse of live oaks, startling you both from. “Come on, you slow pokes! The birdies aren’t gonna wait all day for us to find them!” Not trusting you both to follow her on your own, the little girl latched on to your hand and pulled you along the trail. “You need to help me find the birds,” Sarah reminded you.

Joel’s hand still clasped in yours, you dragged him behind you, grinning over your shoulder at him. “I’m liking this date already, Joel.”

He beamed back at you. The three of you walked in silence for a bit, listening to the sounds of nature around you. When you spotted a bird blind, you handed Sarah the binoculars and the guidebook, challenging her to identify as many birds as she could from that spot. Joel stood next to you, watching Sarah enjoy the activity.

“Let’s see where this goes first before we worry about your dad,” he murmured. “I’d like to take you on a few dates first, okay?”

It made sense and you nodded, pleased at the way things were working out. Your hand remained in Joel’s throughout the birding adventure and though Sarah never mentioned it, her smile grew wide at the sight.

tbc

p.s. we should start building up to the good stuff in the next chapter.

Taglist: @mellymbee @untamedheart81 @anoverwhelmingdin @runningmom94 @leilanixx @pedropascalfan221 @lovelyjess69 @sarahhxx03 @sofiparallel @tammythr @lulawantmula @islacharlotte @allyourfavesinoneblog @lover-of-books-and-tea @pedropascalsbbg @ashleyfilm @brittmb115 @lilmizmoz @loveisacowboyyy @shotgun-shelby @deninoe @casssiopeia @caitlynsixxx

[basmathgirl]

I feel bad for Donna that she is stuck with the sad old weasel version of the Doctor. The way she looked at Fifteen!!! Overall Fifteen is probably the most conventionally attractive, the most outright sexy and fit Doctor (ever?). Not saying the others weren’t attractive at all, but back then they portrayed the Doctor more in the nerdy/ geeky-attractive kinda way. I think considering Fifteen’s charm, charisma, humour and looks, after his run he might end up as “The Sexy Doctor”. I know Donna would agree. In general the new TARDIS-Team with Millie Gibson, Varada Sethu and of course Ncuti Gatwa is ridiculously good looking. I guess New New Who doesn’t allow “ugly”/ normal looking people any longer. 😂

Hello kind Anon

I get the feeling that you are a great deal younger than I am (and rather ageist), because I know the "sad old weasel version of the Doctor"

will be only a temporary situation. Soon, he'll be back to his cheerful, pre-bigeneration self. Look at how delighted he was to be reuninited with Donna

And Donna doesn't seem to mind at all with being 'stuck' with him.

especially when her old best friend ocassionally looks at her like this:

Even the Not-Thing!Doctor knew how he felt about her.

I totally agree that the Fifteenth Doctor is a very attractive man/being. His good looks, kindness, intelligence and charm won us all over instantly upon his emergence.

Oh yes, he knows what he's doing to us.

But as for "the most outright sexy and fit Doctor (ever?)" well... I was around for the anouncement of Peter Davison as the Fifth Doctor; and Paul McGann as the Eighth Doctor. Both were generally considered very fine specimens of manhood, back in the day! And truth be told, I still get a thrill out of seeing them in anything. Sexiness is a matter of personal taste, after all. Plus, while I appreciate Ncuti Gatwa visually (among other things), I feel he is rather too young for me. I'm more likely to pat his cheek and try to feed him up.

Grandmothers, eh?! What are we like.

We've only had one episode of RTD's latest Season 1 run (if we ignore the 60th anniversary specials) so as far as "I guess New New Who doesn’t allow “ugly”/ normal looking people any longer. 😂" is concerned, it's a bit hard to tell how influential the move to Disney+ has over the general casting. Especially when you try to dodge any spoilers. Not that Moffat was immune to casting based on looks rather than talent, but I am expecting to see more conventially attractive people to appear in the coming episodes.

Of course, I'm hoping that the old trend of hiring decent actors rather than model/actors will be maintained, but you never know how that extra streaming coinage will be. The casting of attractive companions like Millie Gibson and Varada Sethu was no surprise at all. *mentally beats the 'something for the dads' thinking to a pulp* In fact, it's refreshing when that doesn't happen.

Personally, I want RTD to create those DW spinoffs he jokingly referred to when the Disney+ announcement was made. Those tend to be pretty good and/or interesting.

In conclusion, while I really love the new, Fifteenth Doctor and look forward to seeing his adventures.

Donna certainly appreciated his physique and good looks, but I could never turn my back on the Fourteenth Doctor. I mean... Just look at him

He needs our special love. Especially because he loves and adores Donna. In the way she deserves to be.

[punkeropercyjackson]

My audhd brain won't stop telling me to do a full breakdown of the parallels between Percy and Hobie so i will.Alright,let's do this one last time!

Troubled but good kids

Afro-dominican New York/Jamaican-English(NY and England are where punk first started)

Anarchists,proffessional instigators,always helping out around communities(it's implied Percy participated in Rachel's protests and charities with her)and looking out for the little guy

So they're actual punks instead of just EdgyTM douchebags because they wanna do the right thing no matter what

No masking game autistics

Trans femmes who come across as masc only to normies

Chillaxed and super kind and love cute shit and people but also have major street credit,a huge edge and strong as fuck backbones and the reason they're so kind is that their childhood was beyond brutal so as they grew up they decided to be the positive older figure in younger people's lives they didn't take to have to the point they turned into Team Dad's

The EXACT same sense of humor

Blue-coded

Alt music lovers

Expressions are always either super intimidating or meme worthy goofy

Pet supernatural dog(Spidermutt and Mrs O'Leary)

Widely regarded as the coolest ever in-universe and correctly so but they're huge dorks when you get down to it but that only makes them even cooler-They were this cool the whole time

6'something with guitarist hands and described as so attractive it's shocking

Go by a nickname instead of their full name and have a common black surname

Oldest and most experienced heroes in their main casts

Hobie's dad is a deadbeat who left him as a baby to do supernatural shit

'I'm not a role model' 'I hate the a.m,i hate the p.m,i hate labels' 'I don't believe in consistency' / 'Was i a troubled kid?Yeah,you could say that' 'I AM impertenent' 'The sea does not like to be restrained'

'Calling yourself a hero makes you self-mythologizing'Hello???????????

Gwen is the Hazel to Hobie's Percy.She's a younger trans girl with a ghost motif who's a pastel ray of sunshine and runs her mouth as much as they do and has a dead mom,an abusive corrupted figure dad and their own impressive experiences in heroism before meeting them

Nico is another teen Ghostkid who Percy gifted a Ramones shirt and gave shelter to multiple times when he was homeless because Hades/Pluto is as much of a fucking cunt as George Stacy is.Nico is also a Miles kinnie because he's an optimistic softboy who's nerdy,a fast food lover and a lot stronger than he gives himself credit for and Percy is the big brother mentor to him the fandom thinks Hobie is to Miles(Nah fr Hobie and Miles are ambigious but Percy's canonically a grown ass man and Nico's Miles' age,P*rcicos pack it up and get over that your ship only works for transfem Percy proof)

Karl=Jason(the cooler St*ve R*gers,the actual voice of reason on the team but just as unhinged as the rest of them,very nice guy vibes and Hobie's righthand),Riri=Annabeth(Black girl genius who takes no shit but is still written as a person instead of a stereotype)and Mattea=Clarisse(red-coded,rowdy tomboy and war paint)

Mayday and Margo are basically just Estelle and Rachel,Jessica makes a pretty convincing Sally and Miguel reminds me of Poseidon but especially when he's interacting with Hobie

Sarcastic troublemaker smiles i've always found endearing(Rip to Annabeth but i'm different)(Also for Hobie i mean this platonically)

Immaculate rizz that's mostly unintentional but reaches critical levels when on purpose

Cocky asf and self-loathing at the same time

That one scene of Hobie leaving Gwen a Watch with the 'In case it don't work out' note with a lil doodle of him on it after getting her dad's ass/Percy sending the Olympians Medusa's head in a box after slaying her with a note saying 'Best wishes' to spite them

Goofy ahh who are nonetheless taken seriously cause Watch Out

They even both have terrible singing voices

And technically not the same thing but Hobie's also pink-coded so they're cotton candy colors and with Percy's white streak they can be the trans flag too!!

[greeenchrysanthemums]

Thus Always to Tyrants

Chapter 1: The Start of the Fall

Gem is the commander of the Wintertide royal army, Grian is the leader of a resistance hell bent on taking the crown down no matter the cost. It was only natural that they would become enemies.

Chapter 1 (you are here) -> Chapter 2

Read on ao3 ❀ here ❀

CW: past/mentioned war, non-graphic violence.

Words: 6,493

Pov: Gem

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

The tip of Gem’s sword punctured the dummy’s chest, right through the center of the worn out fabric X sewn into its burlap surface. She planted her foot right under where the blade was buried and kicked it away with enough force to send it crashing to the ground, freeing her sword in the process. The dummy rolled away from her,  it’s sewn on face frowning up at her sadly in an almost comedic way as it went. She panted and stood up straight, rolling her shoulders to release some of the tension they had collected in the muscles. 

Her ears were met with a round of clapping, and she turned to smile at the group of young knights and squires who had gathered at the edge of the training grounds to observe her sword play. She gave an elegant, somewhat exaggerated, bow before turning to look up at the sky. She shielded her eyes from the shining rays as she checked the sun’s position. It was just about noon by this point, if not nearing it. She should be on her way, lest she be late.

“That will be all from me, I’m afraid. I’m in danger of receiving a verbal lashing from sir Impulse.” She joked to the trainees with an apologetic smile. 

“Do you really have to go?” One of the younger squires asked with big, pleading eyes. The others echoed the sentiment, all trying to convince her to stay and show them more.

“Unfortunately, yes, I do,” She said, “It’s a very important day today, as you all know, and my presence cannot be missed. Why don’t you lot work on what I just showed you until you are called to join us, and then you can show me your improvement another day. How does that sound?” There was a chorus of disappointed vocalisations, but they got back to their own work pretty quickly after a stern look was thrown their way.

She walked over to the fallen dummy and took a moment to stand it upright so that it was ready for the next person to use. She jogged over to where she had abandoned her water skin at the edge of the training ring, expertly tossing the practice sword she had borrowed into the designated barrel behind the dummies as she went. She took a few greedy gulps of sweet, crisp water before wiping away the sweat that had accumulated on her brow with the hem of her sleeve. Her clothes were damp with sweat and sticking to her skin, but where she was heading would be just as hot, if not more, so she was not worried about it. 

She really should not have let herself be roped into showing off to the younger knights and squires, but how could she not? She simply could not resist their charms; she had no choice but to say yes when they came to her on her way out to beg that she show them a few basic forms. They reminded her far too much of her younger self, she supposed. Bright eyed, full of admiration, and ready and eager to learn. There had been someone once in her life that was willing to give in to her pleas and show her everything they knew, she only thought it fair that she be the same kind of role model in these kids' lives. She would just die if she didn’t live up to their expectations. If that meant she ended up a little late every now and then? So be it.

She hooked the skin to her belt and bid the young ones an enthusiastic farewell, which they returned with varying degrees of equal cheerfulness and disappointment, and with that, she was off. She darted through the servant's entrance and into the kitchen, where she quickly snagged a bread roll out of a basket on one of the counters, giggling at the indigent shout of “Commander!” from one of the cooks as she did so. She waved goodbye to them, and they rolled their eyes at her, crossing their arms as she rounded the corner into the hall.

She made her way through the corridors with the bread roll secured safely in her bite, the loud clanking of her armor bouncing off of the high walls. As she ran, she took the opportunity to fix her bun, which had gotten rather messy during her little showing off session. She tucked loose strands back where they belonged and tightened the binding holding the bun and the braid together. It probably still looked a right mess, but at least it was a little more presentable. With her hair out of her face, she took a large bite out of the roll, groaning at the sweet, buttery taste of it.

She haphazardly shoved the rest of the roll into her mouth and chewed as fast as she could without choking. She licked the flakey crumbs from her fingers and wiped the rest of the mess off on the skirt of her dress. Not the most polite or proper, and her mama would definitely scold her for doing it, but she had not the time to worry about manners. She was going to be late; later than she probably already was.

She waved to the on duty guard at the main door and he yelled for her to have a good time just as she exited earshot. She lifted up the hem of her dress as she ran down the front steps, trying to avoid tripping over the expanse of fabric. She stumbled a little on the final step, pinwheeling her arms in order to steady herself before carrying on her way. 

She squinted against the sun in her eyes and slowed her pace to a light jog, a smile coming onto her face as she caught sight of her friends and the small group of guards waiting at the front gate for her. Impulse and Scott looked up as she skidded to a stop in front of them. She put her hands on her hips and bent slightly at the waist as she tried to catch her breath. 

“Worry not, I am here!” She proudly declared as she straightened her stance.

“Here, and late.” Scott said from where he was leaned against the wall, arms crossed, and one foot propped against the stone. His long hair was pulled over his shoulder into a braid, a stray stand of the blue locks falling into his amused face. Impulse beside him stood more casually with his thumbs tucked into the belt around his waist. The eldest man stifled a laugh at her expense.

“I will have you know that I am barely late. It is hardly even noon yet!” Gem defended with her hands still on her hips, turning her nose up at him in a playful manner.

“Late is late, Commander,” Scott laughed, his heterochromatic eyes gleaming with delight at her defensiveness. Gem opened her mouth to continue the friendly argument, but was halted by Impulse’s hand’s clamping down on either of their shoulders.

“Alright, that’s enough out of you two. Let's be on our way before our absence is missed.” Impulse said. Despite being lower in rank than her, Impulse was the oldest out of them, and one of her best friends, so Gem took no offense when he gave her a light shove in the direction of the town.

Gem took the lead as they exited the front gates, bidding the guards up at the top of the tall wall a goodbye as she went. Truth be told, it really was not too much of an issue that they were heading out a little later than what they expected. She had long ago coordinated and dispatched another unit to go ahead of them early this morning. Not only that, but her presence was not something that was strictly required, it was a personal choice. Technically there was no way for them to be late to this event. Scott simply enjoyed pulling her leg, and she, his.

The journey to town didn’t take them very long - a journey that they could have made shorter had the capital not been too crowded to bring horses on a day like this -  and in the blink of an eye they were entering the crowded city. 

Stands and carts littered the usually empty streets, filled to the brim with rare goods and flooded by customers eager to get their hands on whatever was being offered. The decadent smell of cooking meats and spices filled her nose and caused her mouth to water, the faint hint of baked goods and perfumes lingering just under the surface. Lively music filled the air, as did laughter and conversation. Over the heads of many a passersby she could see a stage set up in the center of the city square, where a band was playing the jolly tune that could be heard. 

If one was to look even further, they would also catch sight of even more booths and carts, designated entirely to games and things of the like. There were even places set up for the trading of livestock and furniture. Buildings were lined with decorations that were vibrant in colour.

The event wasn’t to officially begin for another quarter of an hour, but it appeared things were already in full swing.

The Festival of Good Tides; a yearly occurrence in Wintertide that was first established several years back after a truce had been called to end a three-year war between the kingdom and its neighbouring lands, Coral Crest. What was originally created as a way of boosting post war morale had become somewhat of a national holiday that the people looked forward to with great anticipation. Its popularity was also helped by the fact that the many activities and wares sold brought a large increase of income to the kingdom, something that many now relied on for the coming winter season, where food and warmth was a bit hard to come by without a bit of extra coin.

Though the festivities only lasted one day, the most was always made of it. Events and trading started at noon and extended into the evening until the sun had set and the stars had risen, from which point the king would make his appearance, give a speech and his blessing for the coming winter, and then the feast would begin. This grand dinner would go throughout the night and into the early morning, with more than enough food and alcohol to satisfy the masses provided by the castle.

Though it had only been a few years since the tradition had begun, its rise in popularity had been swift and widespread. People would come from all over the land just to partake in the joyous occasion, and get a piece of the financial opportunities that it offered. 

During this time, Inns would become so crowded that people even took the opportunity to rent out rooms in their own homes to travelers. It was even common for those intending to sell to camp out with their traveling carts and stalls in the surrounding woods during the week leading up to the festival, so common that there were designated areas marked and prepped for them nearly a month in advance. 

Gem never really got to enjoy the festival as the celebration that it was, preferring to act more as security so as to ensure that things didn’t get too out of hand, but it was still something that she looked forward to every year. It was one of many highlights that came from living in the capital. It reminded her of who she was here for, who she spent every day of her life training and fighting to protect.

It wasn’t too long ago that this land would have been rife with paranoia and poverty, the war having taken its toll on the people and the land itself. Gem basked in every second of the happiness that she could, while also remaining vigilant that nothing disturbed it. She would do anything to ensure that this time of peace lasted.

“I’m going to split off here,” Scott said, interrupting her thoughts. He jabbed his thumb over to the left of the path they were walking to indicate where he was going, “I think Jimmy’s stall is somewhere over there. I’m going to go see if I can haggle him out of some of the high-quality leather he sells before it is all snatched up. Assuming it hasn’t been already”

“Alright, we will see you at the feast.” Impulse said, giving him a rough pat on the shoulder as a farewell.

“Don’t forget to actually do your job while you’re at it.” Gem teased, punching him in the shoulder. She then motioned for two of the other knights to break off from the group to accompany Scott, and motioned for two others to go in the opposite direction, where she knew more knights were already patrolling. She didn’t want them too split up lest something happen and they need numbers, but it is never a bad idea to have eyes in more places.

“You know me, I’ve always got an eye out,” Scott replied.

“Give Jimmy and Tango my greetings” Gem cheerfully told him as he began to walk away, only to be met with a grimace thrown over his shoulder at her. She laughed at the expression. She knew that Scott’s relationship with his friend's partner was strained and awkward at best, and it was too much fun to tease him about it.

“I think I’m going to head over to my parents' cart. Would you like to come with me?” Impulse asked, looking around the crowded area to try and spot them over the masses.

“I think I am going to hang around the stage. A vast majority of fights always seem to break out in or around this area, so it is best I stay here for now.” Gem said, crossing her arms and scanning the crowd for anything, or anyone, that might be out of place.

“I know we’re here to keep an eye on things, but do try to have a little bit of fun, alright? This is, after all, a celebration!” Impulse insisted, gesturing towards the festivities with a broad sweep of his arms.

“I will do as I please. Give your mothers' my greetings, yes?” Gem asked, shooing him away and sending an extra knight after him with a gesture of her hand.

“Will do!” He gave her a two fingered salute before jogging away.

Gem would not lie and say she had not been tempted to go see Impulse’s parents with him. They were lovely people who adored her and always “snuck” handfuls of candy into the pockets of her dress when she wasn’t looking, but she had meant it when she said the city square and the stage were where 90% of the festival's problems broke out before the feast began, second only to the alcohol booths. Regardless of how rare issues actually were, though, she really would prefer to stay close so she can break up any altercations before they had a chance to escalate 

She did, however, make a pit stop over to one of the meat carts to buy her and the remaining knights with her a rabbit and potato skew from one of the stands a little ways away from the center of the festival. It was a divine bit of food, and she would be a fool to not get some before it was all sold out. The bread roll she had snagged from the kitchen had done little to satiate her hunger and it would be foolish to work on an empty stomach, she reasoned as she thumbed coins over to the vendor and was handed a couple of skewers in return for her payment. 

She distributed them among her remaining knights and then took a big bite out of the hearty meat as she led the way back towards the stage, just in time to catch the start of the next performance.

A stout young woman in a short sleeved, rose pink dress made her way up onto the stage with a bright smile on her face. A man followed behind her with a staff in his hand, and Gem grew giddy with excitement as she realized where this performance may be going. The man went down onto one knee and offered the woman the staff , which she accepted with a deep bow before he rushed off the stage.

She raised the staff, made of wood old and brittle with a glittering jewel entrapped in its spiraled tip, up towards the sky, and the crowd waited with bated breath. She whispered something under her breath, so quiet that it was sure not a soul in the crowd had heard her, but Gem watched her lips form the words, and she knew what was coming next.

For a moment nothing happened, and then light burst forth from the tip of the staff up into the sky in a coil of glittering gold. The strings of light rippled through the air before coming together to form the image of a bird big and grand, which spread its magneficent wings and flew over the crowd with a brilliant wooshing sound. The crowd screamed with delight and laughter as the bird let out a tremendous caw. It rose high into the sky before turning abruptly and diving straight for the stage floor. It exploded as it made contact with the ground, sending glittering shimmers of light, almost like millions of miniature stars, all across the wooden planks.

The crowd erupted into raucous cheers, which Gem joined in on, holding the now bare wooden skew in between her teeth in order to do so. The woman, her smiling face now red and shiny with sweat, bowed once more, holding her staff out to the side of her and placing a hand over her heart as she did so. She took a moment to wave to the crowd before rushing off stage to make way for the next performer. 

What a brilliant performance, Gem thought. Magic in this day and age was a rare sight to see, so even simple spells like that were enough to leave most in awe. 

Gem couldn’t even imagine what it had been like back in the day, when magic was rampant and widespread across the lands, when things like this were commonplace and about as impressive as someone tying their boots. Gem was well versed in what little there was to be known about magic, and it wasn’t a lot. There were very little records of that time long past, only a few books here, the odd fairytale there. There was barely even enough to tell the people of today that there was once a period of time where magic ruled the lands, and no one exactly knows what happened to it.

Now there were barely any folks left with any sort of magical inclination about them at all, and those who did had so little of it that they were barely able to do simple illusion spells like the one Gem just saw without being left utterly exhausted by their efforts. 

She watched several more performances after this, ranging from a man who juggled an armful of colourful balls, a woman who balanced herself on the tip of a tall, slim poll, a woman who sang a beautiful song accompanied by her husband’s lute, a man who did a magic trick involving balls of fire, and many more.

Hours had passed and the next performer was just about to come up onto the stage when Gem caught something out of the corner of her eye. A swish of red fabric that was all too familiar to her; one of the reasons she always preferred to stay on her toes. 

She inhaled sharply through her nose, sparks of anger already kindling in her chest as she whipped around to ensure it was who she thought it was, and without a doubt, it was him. There he was, standing there so close to the stage it would be no problem at all for him to climb upon it should he so wish to. He was eyeing the performer with an almost bored expression. Even with what little anonymity that stupid hood of his offered him, she would recognize him anywhere. 

She marched towards the person, her hand moving towards her sword despite knowing she could not, and would not, use it in such a crowded space. Not when so many innocent lives were at risk of getting caught in the crossfire.

His head turned in her direction, his inky black eyes lighting up with amusement as he spotted her, a smirk spread across his bird-like face. He turned away and took off into the crowd, and Gem gave chase without a second thought.

He weaved through the crowd faster and faster, seamlessly avoiding bumping into people as he moved in a way not too dissimilar to a snake in the grass. She shouldered past people, yelling quick apologies to those who shouted in protest as she tried to keep up with the smaller man, his distinctive red cloak being the only thing that allowed her to keep sight of him through the tightly packed crowd.

He led her all the way towards the bustling merchant’s area. This part of the festival was full of richly coloured fabrics that were folded neatly along the surface of the carts that sold them, and there was a large variety of rare clothing article, which hung from racks in tidy rows on either side of her, easy to knock down and cause a fuss should she not move carefully. The air was thick with perfumes and the smell of dye, the scent thick and almost overpowering to her hard-working lungs as she ran through the area with delicate movements. He threw her a devious smile over his shoulder as he ducked under a rack of brightly coloured scarves, which she darted around, knowing she would not make it under. 

She wasn’t a fool, she knew this was a game to him, and she wasn’t going to let him keep playing it.

The crowd was beginning to thin the further they got away from bustling city square, giving her the opportunity to increase her speed at last. Her armor rattled as she pushed herself to catch up to the nimble man, her blood rushing through her ears and her heart racing loudly. He attempted to duck into an alleyway, but she followed after before he could escape, turning sharply on her heels. She grabbed the back of his cloak, pulling him backwards and his hood down.

She ducked as a set of razor sharp talons ripped towards her face, messy pieces of her hair whipping past her field of vision as she grabbed the man’s wrist, bringing her palm up swiftly into his gut. He gasped as the air was knocked out of his small body. She took the opportunity to swing around into a kick, and her boot would have connected with his neck had he not raised his arms into a protective position in order to block the blow in the last moment. It was still enough to send him to the ground, however, and he hit the cobble with a bounce that sent him rolling.

He used the momentum to flip himself up into a crouching position, blood running down his chin from where he had presumably bit his tongue. His expression was still somewhat playful, but now had a much more serious glint to it. He kept his talons at the ready to counter Gem’s next attack, his body tense with anticipation. His sharp eyes were taunting her, waiting for her to make the next move as he always did.

“Grian.” She said, her hand on the hilt of her sword, ready to draw it at any moment.

“Commander” He said in turn, tilting his head unnaturally to the side, much like the owl he shared his attributes with.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, looking down her nose at him, her thumb inching her sword out of the sheath.

“Is it a crime to enjoy a national holiday like every other citizen in the kingdom?” He questioned in an almost teasing manner.

“Enough of your games! It is no mere coincidence that you would show up today of all days after months of silence.” Gem snapped, her shoulders rising in turn with the bubbling anger in her heart.

Grian, a slippery, troublemaking avian that she had been butting heads with on a near regular basis ever since she was a bright eyed squire fresh off of the snowy mountain she called home, eager to prove herself in her search for glory.  

He had made his entrance into her life in a flashy and grand fashion that was bound to leave an impression on just about anyone; an explosion in the castle's courtyard. It had been small, only enough to take out a tiny portion of the wall. It had been so clearly a distraction, but after years of war, it had been enough to cause a panic that only Gem had been levelheaded enough to power her way through. It was her quick wit that allowed her to act swiftly in the face of potential danger, and her friendly and outgoing personality that let her realize she’d never seen his face around the castle before and clock that he was an intruder. She’d taken him down before he was able to do whatever it was that he was planning to do inside of the castle, but he’d still managed to escape in the end.

Along with an increase in security and guards stationed on the outer walls, the royal army gained another knight that day. Ironic that it would be the man who would come to torment her any chance he could in the near future that would see to it that she was promoted early in her career.

They met many times after that first initial encounter, and with each one it only became obvious that his goal from the very beginning was to tear down the Wintertide royal bloodline at any cost and destroy the peace she tried so hard to protect. 

He sought to create chaos and disorder within the kingdom, and he would stop at nothing to see these goals met. It was only natural that they would become rivals, enemies that would be at constant odds with each other until the end of all things. Time and time again he would make his move against the royal family, and she was always there to put an end to it. It was an endless dance that they seemed to be trapped in indefinitely, for better or for worse.

As the years passed, he shifted his focus from the castle and the king to something else, something more attainable. He would commonly be found in the streets, yelling about injustices to anyone who would give him an ear. 

At first, no one would pay him any mind, and he would always make a break for it the second Gem showed up to put a stop to his public disturbances. Over time, however, as taxes were raised to cover the costs of damages done to the land and economy by the war, and tensions between their neighbouring kingdom rose yet again, his ideals slowly but surely gained more and more popularity. People were moved by his cause, rallied by a hatred for a monarchy they felt provided them very little protection or surety in their time of unrest. 

Suddenly he wasn’t a single person acting alone anymore; he was the leader of a group they had no way of knowing the scope of. 

They had tried to take him and his mysterious resistance down for years now, but by some feat of the gods they had managed to avoid detection, as well as capture, the entire time. Even now, it is unknown just how large his resistance is, or the names of those who operate within it, making it difficult to do anything in opposition to the group. They had only a few names for certain they could connect to him, but they have all been as untraceable as he. Every tip and clue that came Gem's way only led to empty houses and cellars with nothing but clearly fake plans and documents within them that led her and her men right back to where they had started; with nothing at all. 

All of this to say that he and his group are dangerous, effective people who should not be taken lightly, and his presence at The Festival of Good Tides bore nothing but ill tidings. 

The avian sighed in an overly dramatic, fake manner, no doubt playing it up to get a rise out of her. She was ashamed to admit that it worked.

“Fine, I suppose there is no point in hiding it from you,” He said, his face once again breaking into a wide smile, “I was looking for you, actually. I knew if I showed up to the festival you would find me within seconds and pursue me until you had me in your grasp.”

“And, why, in god's name, were you seeking to put yourself right into my hands? A bit of a foolish thing to do, if you ask me. You know as well as I do that you are no match for me, birdy.” She taunted. 

She swiftly pulled her sword from its sheath and put the tip of the blade to his unprotected neck. It was just long enough for her to close the distance between them without having to take so much as a step closer. His expression remained unbothered and playful, despite the obvious threats to his life.

“I wanted to give you a fair warning,” He replied cryptically.

“What in the hells does that mean?” She questioned, hackles once again rising.

“Something big is coming, Gem.” He answered. His eyes were wide and excited, almost manic even, as he said this. She had never seen him like this before in all her years knowing him.

“Something big? What in the blazes are you on about?” She asked, unease settling in her stomach like a heavy stone at the words

“You would do well to prepare yourself while you still can.” He said instead of giving her a real answer, “For all of our back and forth, I do not hate you. It would sure be a shame if something were to happen to you that could have been avoided.”

“Your mad rambles make little sense. Explain yourself before I have your head!” She threatened, pushing the tip of the sword against his throat further.

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you anymore than I already have, but you’ll find out in due time, believe in that. The end might be closer than you think.” He said, and her eyes widened, her mouth dropping open. 

He took advantage of her brief shock to sweep his leg out faster than she could react. The hard, scaly part of his taloned foot grabbed a hold of her sword’s blade and wrenched the weapon out of her hands, sending it to the ground with a metallic clatter. She shouted in alarm and leaped towards the fallen sword in an attempt to regain control of the situation, but before she could even get close, Grian pulled a bottle out from somewhere within his cloak and smashed it against the ground at her feet.

There was a flash and a popping noise following the shattering of the glass, and thick smoke billowed out around them, obscuring her vision and filling her nose with the overbearing smell of sulfur. Her eyes burned, watering fiercely as she coughed, trying to clear her lungs of the smoke.

She waved the air in front of her, looking around frantically for the avian but seeing not a single sign of him. There wasn’t so much as a feather on the ground, nor where there any footprints in the grime showing where he’d taken off to. All there was in the now vacant cobble alley was her sword, flat against the ground where it had fallen. 

“Gem!” She heard someone call out to her from behind.

She turned to find Impulse rushing towards her. He looked frantic, out of breath. A few other soldiers trailed behind him, visibly on edge as they looked around the smokey alley. Her old friend hurried to her side, grabbing her face and brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes as he turned her side to side to check for injuries. 

She pulled away from him, wordlessly moving over to her abandoned sword and picking it up from the ground. She examined the blade before turning her eyes up to the sky, where the smoke was still spiraling up towards the clear blue expanse. 

“The men that were stationed with you came to me in a frenzy and said you took off in a rush. They said may be in need of some help, and the thought of you of all people needing help against something on its own is a frightening, so I came as soon as I could.” Impulse said from behind her. “What happened?

“It was Grian.” She said, turning towards him. Then, as an afterthought, she tacked on, “And I didn’t need any help. You know me.”

“It hardly matters to me how strong you are, I will always worry for you regardless. It is in my nature.” He said with a smile, which dropped into a more serious look, “But, Grian, you say? Has he not been off the radar for months now? What’s he doing back in the capital on today of all day? Surely he is up to no good.”

She sheathed her sword, taking a moment to wonder if she should share the cryptid warning that the avian had given her. Her eyes flickered over to the nervous knights standing behind her friend. They were clearly new, fresh out of being squires if she had to take a guess. It was highly probable that they would panic upon hearing information such as this. Besides, anything pertaining to Grian and his resistance was more classified than what she was willing to share with just anyone. She would prefer to inform the king of the news, as well, and it was almost nightfall anyway so his arrival to the festival site was fast approaching. It was best she not have to repeat herself when handling such delicate information. You never know who may be listening.

“I think it would be wiser if I don’t share that with so many ears around. This is information better shared to a smaller group.” She informed him. He glanced back at the soldiers behind him and nodded in understanding.

“Let us return to the festival, this time with eyes and ears more focused.” She said, "If he shows his face again, he will not be getting away so easily a second time."

She turned on her heels and deftly made her way back towards the crowded square, the others following after all. She held her head high, posture straight and professional, but underneath the facade was a twisting feeling of unease that she couldn’t get rid of, and which threatened to force her lunch to make a second appearance. 

Her mind was racing, her chest was tight. What could her longtime rival have meant with that threat? No, that had been more of a promise than it had been a threat. But a promise of what, she didn’t know, and that is what scared her. Whatever it was that he had in store for the kingdom of Wintertide, he was so incredibly certain of its success that he was willing to seek her out to personally tell her of its existence. 

Either he was a fool, or there was something to truly worry about afoot, and something told her it was the latter since she had never known Grian to be a stupid man.

In fact he was quite the dangerous person. 

A harmless person could not gain the following and influence that he had over people in such a short time as he had. Even when the people above her had thought of him as little more than a fly buzzing in their ear, she had always taken every move he made seriously. She would be a fool herself not to treat him as the treat he really was. 

If anything, she was surprised it had taken so long for him to make his move. With the reach and numbers he seemed to have within the capital it was a wonder something “big” had yet to happen. Why now of all times? What was his game?

She looked over her shoulder at the abandoned alley one last time, her expression hardening into a determined glare. Even with her worry, she knew one thing for certain; whatever it may be that he was planning, she would put an end to it. 

He would not succeed. 

                                                ❀     ❀     ❀

“Was it necessary to toy with her like that?” His hooded companion asked from beside him, tone high and amused.

Grian stood upon the roof, the smoke bomb having given him just enough time to escape out of view. His cloak fluttered in the wind behind him and his hands clenched into fists, his sharp nails digging into his palms. His expression was blank, his black eyes watching as the commander of the royal army grew smaller the further she got from them. She’d almost seen him when she glanced back. Almost, but not quiet. 

“Not that I am complaining,” His companion pushed further upon not receiving a response, “It is rather funny, I must admit.”

“I am not toying with her,” He stated, not daring to take his eyes off of the commander until she was well out of view, “It was a real warning.”

“Even worse,” Was the reply, which was then followed by a laugh, “Now she’ll be wary, more prepared than she would have had you said nothing at all. I have to agree with the Commander on this one, Grian, this seems an odd move to make so early into the plan. After all of the work we put into this, it seems entirely counterproductive. Are you not worried she could put an end to this all before it has even begun?”

“Let her try and interfere,” He said, a smile spreading across his face as the wind picked up speed, “There will be no stopping what is to come.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Rebound 2

Warnings: non/dubcon, body insecurity, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Curtis Everett

Summary: after a divorce, you try to start over.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

A giggle crawls through you and nips at your ears. You can’t help your paranoia as every whisper prickles across your skin. Are they talking about you? Laughing?

Things were going pretty good. Your new regime of walking is going on day eight and you’ve cut back on your snacking. You're a bit sore from trying to jog along the path but that morning felt okay. Until you ventured down to the grocery store on your lunch.

Ugh. You should’ve just walked away. You shouldn’t have kept listening to the conversation. To that girls churlish laughter. And you surely shouldn’t have gone to peek at her. You could pretend she isn’t so much younger.

Her name is Greta. She spoke loudly about the sheriff, almost as if she knew you could hear. Maybe she did.

It’s over. Let it go. You keep telling yourself that. It’s not that you want Lee back.. You’d rather be alone than unwanted. It’s just that you were right. You were being traded in for a younger model.

Well, so much for starting over. You’re going to cry into a tub of ice cream tonight and catch up on reruns. You don’t have the energy to go out for your walk. You just want to lay face down and forget the world, or at least, Hammer Ford.

You wiggle a pen in the air and look around the library. It’s not very busy. It never is. This place is lifeless. Like everything else, it’s dull and empty.

“Um, excuse me,” a voice startles you from your self-pity. You make yourself smile as you face the man. It’s him, Curtis. “Return.”

He holds up the book he took out last week and sets it on the counter. You look at the cover and pick it up. You key it in as returned in the system.

“Thanks, you’re a fast reader,” you comment as you put it in the returns pile.

“Mm, sure,” he utters.

You turn back to him and stare awkwardly, unsure what to say. He hasn’t been unfriendly but he’s less than outgoing. You’re not sure what to say. He’s so stoic and stony, it makes you nervous.

“How was your—”

“Do you–”

He stops himself as you speak at the same time. You chuckle and wring your hands, “you go.”

“Yeah, uh,” his grey-blue eyes cling to you, “I was wondering if you had any suggestions.”

“Um, oh, yeah, of course, if that’s what you typically like to read, I can definitely make a few recommendations,” you breathe through your anxiety. You think he’s younger than you, maybe not by much but you definitely show your age a lot more obviously. “Have you tried any Dean Koontz? Odd Thomas is fascinating.”

“That ones my favourite,” he says.

“Heh, yeah, that was kind of obvious,” you sniff, “well, you can try Patrick Logan if you haven’t checked him out.”

“Logan,” he nods and looks around, “you think you could show me?”

“Right, yeah,” you step around and push through the door of the counter, “it should be with the usual stacks…”

You take him towards the fiction section at the rear and find the right shelf, “looks like we only have a few here… oh but the first one’s available.”

You slide out the book and offer it to him. He considers it and takes it, reading the back. His eyes flit up and startle you.

“Thanks, sounds good.”

“Great, well, er, I’ll let you look around. You know where I’ll be.”

“I’m good. I’ll take this one,” he affirms.

You nod and sidle past him. He follows you back to the counter and takes out his library card. You go through the usual routine as he stands silently across from you. You hand him his card back with the book.

“Hope you like it.”

He looks at it and tilts his head, “have a good night.”

“Yeah, good night.”

He turns and stalks away. He doesn’t lift his head as he stares down at the book in his hands. He passes through the library doors, a young teen dodging out of his way as he enters. You give a thoughtful hum. He’s a bit odd but who isn’t around here.

You go to the returns and start your closing duties. You zone out as you put the books on the cart, keeping them in order by which call number you’ll pass by first. A sharp woop makes you jump and look up as coloured lights flash outside the library.

Your moment of peace dissipates. The scene at the grocery store replays in your head. The laughter echoes in your ears. The silhouette striding up to the doors makes your heart drop. No, why?

Lee Bodecker enters, his thumb hooked in his belt. The sheriff. Your ex husband. You cringe as he approaches the counter.

“Evening, ma’am,” he drawls as he stops across from you, “you haven’t seen a kid in a hoodie, have ya?”

You swallow as you stare at him. He’s going to stand here and act like nothing happened. Like he doesn’t know you. You shake your head, “no, sir.”

His cheek dimples. A strike of anger zips up your spine. He used to stand just like that when you did something wrong. No, not wrong, just not the way he wanted it. And even then, you called him sir. He always had that smug smirk on his face.

“Mm, well, you see some twerp in a blue sweater and you give me a call. You still got my number, don’t ya?” He winks.

“Haven’t seen him,” you repeat, even as you recall the young kid who shied away from Curtis. The teenager couldn’t haven’t done anything that serious. “Good night, sheriff.”

“Night, honey,” he snickers.

You turn your back to him before he can see you crack. He’s mocking you. He struts around proudly, waving his dick around, gloating in the whispers. And you’re left to wallow in dejection. After all, he’s a man of the law, he’s untouchable. You’re the bitch who couldn’t do your damn duty.

[mykoreanlove]

to you, lil' kookie

Jungkook felt his senior’s arms strongly around his crouched body, his grip tightening with each inhale of breath. Joon always used to speak to him softly, but today he was even more cautious.

“She is not coming back, Kookie. Okay? She won’t come back.”

Salty tears stained Joon’s shirt, but he didn’t mind. His younger brother was hurt in a way he had never been hurt before. Joon would turn back time if he could. He would go back long before Jungkook met you, long before you could break his heart. Unfortunately, though, he couldn’t.

Joon patted his head softly while whispering.

“You are going to be okay, Kookie. You are going to be okay.” Jungkook started sobbing harder, gasping for air as he cried out.

“How? How can I be okay if she doesn’t want me? Tell me how, hyung?”

In the weeks prior his friends tried everything to cheer him up.

Jin took him to a fancy salon to get him a fresh look but all he saw were his sad eyes.

Hobi flew him out to LA to go out dancing with actors and models, but he just stood in the corner watching, too sad to even move.

Jimin tried setting him up with other girls, one more beautiful than the other, but everyone he met reminded him of you.

Yoongi bought every brand of liquor available but even the bitterest taste couldn’t erase the sweetest memory of you.

Taehyung took him out to the peaceful forest to spend some time in solitude, but being alone with his thoughts was even worse.

And Joon? Joon just went straight in – “face your demons and conquer them“, he used to say.

Jungkook stared at the empty, emerald green journal which was gifted to him by his hyung. He scoffed, too annoyed to even try writing about his feelings. How was he even supposed to start? Joon once told him that if love got taken away from us, it’s the small child within us that suffers the most.

“You think you need the other person but what you really need is you.”

Jungkook had no idea where Joon took all his wisdom from. Was he right? Should he give this a try? He clasped his hands above his head, trying to think straight.

“It’s not like there is something else I want to do anyway”, he mustered to himself.

Jungkook opened the black journal and stumbled upon the first page. Joon had left him a little note: “To you, little Kookie.” He smiled wholeheartedly, touched by his friend’s affection for him.

Jungkook scratched the back of his head, unsure how to even begin writing to his younger self. “Don’t overthink it. Just let it flow. This is a safe space for you, Kookie. It needs to be.”

He grabbed a pencil and started writing.

Dear little Kookie,

He scratched what he wrote and shook his head in resistance.

“God, I sound so stupid. Why am I doing this?” He thought back to his conversation with Joon.

“Picture yourself as a little kid if you find it hard to write to yourself. It’s not like you’re writing to a stranger. You are talking to yourself.”

Dear little Kookie,

Dear little Kookie,

Not gonna lie – I feel stupid doing this right now. But if we’re being brutally honest right now, I have felt stupid for quite some time now. It didn’t work out with y/n and I feel devastated. I really wanted her. I really wanted her to want me. But I guess I wasn’t her type after all.

So, she broke my heart, blocked my number and left me like I didn’t matter. My friends tried everything to make me feel better, but they failed. Hyung made me write to you, so I guess this is my last hope. I don’t even know what to say though?

Are you as sad as me?

Jungkook stared at the last sentence, hoping for some kind of interaction. He laughed at himself after realizing what he was doing.

“Who am I, Harry Potter?” He chewed on his pencil for a while before continuing writing.

You are as sad as me, huh? Guess we both feel like shit. I tried everything to run away from feeling like that. Didn’t work.

Is this forever? Can we change? Can we heal? Hyung told me about relationships, you know. He is very smart but sometimes he says things that go way over my head. He said that the most important relationship I have is with you, little Kookie. With me, I suppose.

And I neglected you for a while, didn’t I?

Jungkook interrupted his writings to get himself a drink. Facing his pain was harder than he thought. Yoongi’s brown liquor burned in his throat, but he gladly welcomed another kind of pain for once.

I am sorry, little Kookie. I am sorry that you and I have to go through this. And I’m also sorry that we had to face so much pain in the past, too. Dating is hard, don’t you think?

Loving is even harder. I am sorry for all the trouble I put you through. I never really tended to your wounds, did I? Instead, I waited for someone external to mend them for us. Sorry I neglected you all these years.

He took a deep breath before thinking about you.

Little Kookie, I am sorry for how it went down with y/n. I am sorry that I did everything imaginable to convince her I was worthy of her love while you were dying inside from heartbreak. I tried to give her everything until nothing was left of me.

I am sorry I didn’t notice you. I wasn’t there, I was too occupied with her. Y/N neglected me whilst I neglected you. I should have been here with you. I should have held your hand and reassured you. I am sorry I made you question yourself. I should have let her go and focus on you and me. I should have told you how amazing you are. How great you are. And that you are worthy of love, that you deserve to be loved. If she can’t see that, then it’s her loss.

But I didn’t. I was mean to you – and me. I lay there crying every night, wondering why I wasn’t good enough for her. I tortured myself thinking that she would find someone better than me anyway. And then she did.

I should have chosen you, but I chose her instead. And that backfired.

Jungkook sat silently crying in front of his journal. Joon was right – it felt good to get this off his chest, even if the pain was bittersweet.

“You can go on and paint her as the villain or you could use your energy on you, Kookie. Don’t you think you’re finally worth your own attention for once?”

Jungkook let his head fall back in exhaustion, thinking of all the ways he had mistreated himself. He thought back to all those moments in which he behaved like a person without a backbone, or self respect. Like a wolf starved of love he would have taken anything from you, too weak to even realize how poisonous you were.“

“I used to ask her why she didn’t want me. Why didn’t she love me? Why did she only use me? Was that all I was good for? Is this all I’m ever going to be?”

He gulped harder, holding back tears.

“All this time I felt like worthless shit. And so did little Kookie. I tried so hard for her to love me so I could finally feel whole again. I can only imagine how little Kookie must have felt.”

Shame accompanied by disgust clouded his body.

“I have made a complete fool out of myself by begging her to love me. How pathetic is that? I chased someone who didn’t want me. For months I let her play me like a fiddle. Why did I do that? Why did I do that to us?”

Soon, his feelings of self-attack merged into something greater – a hunger for healing.

Little Kookie, I don’t know what the future will hold for us, but I promise you I will be better. And I will make you proud. I won’t rely on someone else to make us feel whole again.

Or loved. I can love you for the both of us. I have no idea how I’m going to do this but I’m sure hyung will help me. Can you forgive me?

He hugged himself tightly, squeezing his arms in response to the sadness he was feeling.

“Hyung was right. Even if it takes time, I will be alright again. Me and little Kookie will be alright this time. We have to be.”

[the-cu-genswap-au]

hey hey, welcome to the first official post on this blog!

First order of business: updated refs for the cast! Starting with what I've been calling the "Main Quintet," or just the core cast of kid characters. I'll be posting a couple more of these bios to tide everyone over while I plan out the next comic.

Massive dump of information incoming:

- Ben Krupp takes the main character spot for this AU. Like mainverse Krupp, he's kind of grouchy and impatient and likes to stick to the rules, but there's meant to be a feeling of.... performance to it in this AU. He's had to take on a lot of new responsibilities in the family after losing his dad a few months ago and it's resulted in him feeling like he has to give up his childhood and be Mature™ now. The kid's stressed.

- Despite this, though, he still secretly holds on to his love of the Captain Underpants comics. He sees the fictional hero as a role model of sorts, the kind of person he wants to aspire to be. His attempts to be that kind of person, though, usually tend to fall a little flat....

- Design note: Ben's main color motif is green, but the bits of red are there as a nod to Cap's color motif. Ben may not actually be Cap in this AU, but I still wanted there to be a physical link between the two.

- Jasper Krupp is Ben's younger brother, the middle child of the Krupp family, and the glue that holds this whole group together. Unlike his brother, Jasper is a lot more open and friendly, and a lot more trusting and empathetic. He's a sweet kid, but like his brother, there's a hint of performance to his behavior, too.....

- Design note: the majority of Jasper's character in this AU is based off of my personal headcanons for Jasper, since he's pretty much a blank slate of a character otherwise. Canon is but putty in my hands etc. etc.

- Toilette Ree and his younger brother Lavatore are the new kids in town, having moved from Quebec to Piqua over the summer. It's been.... hard adjusting to the move. The other kids at Jerome Horwitz haven't exactly been making it easy for them, either. But hey, that's why they've got each other!

- Toilette is the more rowdy and confrontational of the two, but mostly when it comes to defending his brother. When he cools off he likes to put on this snarky, cooler-than-you attitude to make himself seem more formidable than his tiny frame would suggest. It.... doesn't really work all that well.

- In his spare time, he has a budding interest in engineering

- Lavatore, by contrast, comes off as the more timid, less aggressive brother, but that's only because he has a tendency to fall back on Toilette whenever the two of them are in trouble. When he's not struggling to survive third grade, Lavatore's actually a pretty nice, chill kid, with a surprising rebellious streak to his personality that comes out whenever he's emboldened enough.

- Design note: Toilette and Lavatore have the same color motifs as Ben and Jasper (green/blue). This is only partially accidental on my part.

- Design note: Toilette's hair curl is essential

- Edith (they never caught her last name) rounds out the core cast as Ben and Jasper's closest (and only) friend. A quiet, painfully shy girl, Edith has a hard time fitting in with the other kids at Jerome Horwitz Elementary, not that she isn't trying. Sometimes she can't help but think that the other kids can just tell that she's different, somehow....

- In her free time, Edith has a huge passion for baking. She likes to share whatever she makes at home with Ben and Jasper, her self-proclaimed biggest fans.

- Design note: Edith's color palette is an inversion of her mainverse counterpart's colors—mainly yellow with red highlights instead of mainly red with yellow highlights

[stephstars08]

You’re Not Him

Spider Socorro x Metkayina!Reader

Warnings: Low Self Esteem, Spider being Bullied, Depressed!Spider, Parent Issues, Anxiety, Angst, Fluff, Y/N being Pressured By Her Parents, and Maybe Some Grammar Errors. (Don’t think I forgot any!!)

Summary: Ever since the Sully’s official adopted Spider he hasn’t been very welcomed by the Metkayina clan beside Y/N who is the eldest daughter of Tonowari and Ronal. Thanks to what Quaritch did to the Na’vi no one trusts Spider but Y/N always tries her very best to prove that Spider is nothing like his father.

Word Count: 2,031

Author’s Note: ALL IMAGES THAT ARE IN MY COVER PHOTO ARE NOT MINE AND I FOUND ON PINTEREST! I did try my best to make this story very accurate to the movie so I hope I did a good job and you all enjoy it!

Ever since Spider had reunited with the Sully’s he hasn’t really been welcomed in by the Metkayina clan. It’s mostly because his father is Quaritch who had caused so much distraction to Pandora. The only one from the Metkayina clan that have showed the most kindness and welcoming to Spider is Y/N who is the the eldest daughter of Tonowari, the Olo’eyktan of the Metkayina clan and his wife Ronal.

Y/N has always been the kindest Metkayina along with her sister Tsireya but Y/N does have a whole lot more pressure on her for being the perfect sibling since she is the eldest and her parents want her to be a good role model to not just her younger siblings but all of the Metkayina children. Her parents also expect her to be the most responsible as well.

That’s why it worries her parents to see how much she has bonded with Spider. Y/N’s parents done trust Spider like the Sully’s do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N was hanging out with her sister, Tsireya. They were in the water on their Ilus just talking sister stuff like they always do. As Tsireya was telling Y/N a story she spotted Spider hanging out with the Sully kids, Lo’ak, Kiri, and Tuk on the shore line. It didn’t take long for Y/N to put all of her attention on just Spider. She could feel butterflies in her stomach when Spider laughed at something Tuk said. She probably told them a joke that she came up with. The only two that laughed were Spider and Kiri while Lo’ak just playfully rolled his eyes which is what he does all the time when Tuk tells a silly joke.

“Y/N!” Tsireya said waving one of her hands in front of Y/N which quickly got her attention. “Sorry.” Y/N told her feeling embarrassed. “What were you staring at?” Tsireya asked her in a curious tone. “Oh, um nothing.” Y/N said looking anywhere but her sister’s face. Tsireya looked over and when she saw Spider her lips curved up into a smile.

“Why won’t you just admit that you are growing feelings for him?” Tsireya said looking back at Y/N. “Well, you like Lo’ak.” Y/N said ignoring her question by putting the attention on her crush than hers. She still wasn’t looking at Tsireya. “And I have already admitted my feelings about him to you.” Tsireya said reminding her which made Y/N playfully roll her eyes.

“I don’t see why you won’t admit it. I see how happy you are when you are around him.” Tsireya said which made Y/N let out a heavy sigh. “I feel like if I do admit my feelings, I feel like I’ll disappoint mom and dad.” Y/N told her looking at her sister with sadness in her ocean blue eyes. “Aw Y/N.” Tsireya said as her lips turned down into a frown.

“I don’t care who his father is. He’s not him.” Y/N said with some frustration in her voice. “I know he’s not but after everything that has happened between the Na’vi, and his kind mom and dad are just trying to be cautious.” Tsireya explained to her. “It’s just going to take them a little longer to accept him.” Tsireya added in a reassuring tone. “We’ll see.” Y/N said with a sigh looking over at Spider who was talking to Kiri while Lo’ak was on his Ilu with Tuk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N just got done with her chores her parents gave her when she saw Spider sitting in the sand all by himself. When the water would reach where he was sitting, he would feel the water with his hands. Y/N started to feel a little concern about him sitting there all by himself, so she decided to walk over to him.

“Hi.” Y/N said to him as she stood next to him. “Hi, Y/N.” Spider said looking up at her. “Why are you sitting here all by yourself?” Y/N asked him. “Just trying to clear my head up a little.” Spider answered with a heavy sigh. “Do you want to join me?” Spider asked her in a curious tone. “Sure.” Y/N said with a soft smile. When she took a seat right down next to him, they both stared out into the ocean.

“I’m sorry that my clan hasn’t been very welcoming to you.” Y/N told him in a soft tone. “It’s okay. I’m used to that feeling.” Spider told her which made her heart ache. “I know that you’re on the Na’vi’s side in this long going war. But please tell me that you aren’t blaming yourself for what has happened recently.” Y/N said to him with hope in her voice. “I try not to but it’s hard because when anyone looks at me, they see him.” Spider said trying to keep himself together.

He’s tired of feeling vulnerable when it comes to what his father had done. He feels like the only one who looks at him as himself is Y/N. It breaks her heart to see all of the Metkayina kids brush him off and be really rude towards. It annoys her when her younger brothers, Aonung and Rotxo talk down to Spider and no matter how many times she’s told them to be nice to Spider they just brush her off too. It doesn’t help that their parents just take their side and keep letting them do it.

“You do blame yourself?” Y/N said looking over at him with concern in her eyes and voice. “Sometimes I feel like I could’ve done more to stop him. To stop them.” Spider told her as he avoided looking into her worried eyes. “But you knew everything they did was wrong.” Y/N told him. She took one of his hands into hers which made him look away from the water and at her. Her blue eyes connected with his brown eyes like they always do when they look at each other. “That’s all that matters.” Y/N told him with a comforting smile. Spider gave her a nod as his lips turned into a small smile. Y/N always know what to say to him when he gets down on himself.

“Y/N!” She heard a familiar voice call out her name in a stern voice. When both Y/N and Spider saw it was Ronal calling her daughter’s name they knew their hangout was over for the day. When Spider let go of her hand, she felt emptiness go through her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Ronal asked looking down at her daughter with stern eyes. “I’m talking to my friend.” Y/N told her mom not being intimidated by her mother’s stern glance. She’s tired of her parents trying to control who she talks to or who she hangs out with. “Y/N to our Marui now!” Ronal told her in a stern tone. “No, I want to stay here and talk to Spider.” Y/N said standing her ground. “I’m your mother and I say go to our Marui now! I’m not going to say it again.” Ronal told her not letting her daughter tell her tell her no. “You should go with your mom.” Spider said before Y/N could respond to Ronal. “I should get back to the Sully’s anyways.” Spider said as he stood up. Y/N watched him walk away with sadness in her blue eyes.

“Y/N!” Ronal said breaking Y/N’s gaze away from Spider. Y/N let out a heavy sigh as she stood up from the sand and walked towards her families Mauri with her mom following behind her. Right when they got there Ronal told Y/N to sit which she did. Y/N folded her arms over her chest waiting for her daily lecture.

“No matter how many times your father and I have told you to stay away from that boy you just keep disobeying us.” Ronal said with anger in her voice. Y/N avoided her mom’s stern gaze. “You are the eldest sibling which means you are the role model to your younger siblings. They don’t need to see their older sibling disobeying their parents' orders.” Ronal lectured her. “You also have another sibling on the way, and you can’t keep stressing me out by being around that boy!” Ronal added as she put her hand on pregnant stomach. She added. Y/N just continued to stay silent.

“Y/N look at me!” Ronal told her in a demanding tone. Y/N sighed as she did what her mother told her to do. “I’m going to tell you for the last time.” Ronal started. “You are forbidden to see that boy.” Ronal told her in strict tone. “Do I make myself clear?” Ronal asked her but Y/N stayed silent which made her start to lose her patience. “Y/N answer me right now!” Ronal demanded. “No!” Y/N snapped finally talking. Ronal was caught off guard since Y/N has never talked to her in that tone before. She’s never heard her daughter talk in that tone ever. Y/N got up onto her feet.

“You and father have raised me to be accepting to everyone and anyone who come to our village and Spider is no exception.” Y/N told her now it being her time to talk. “I understand what Spider’s kind to us, but he is nothing like his father.” Y/N explained to her mother. “Just because you and dad don’t see him like I do doesn’t mean I am not allowed to be around him.” Y/N said in a stern tone.

“I think he’s very sweet and he cares so much about our people so no matter what you and dad say I’m going to continue to be around him.” Y/N told her. Without another word Y/N walked past her mother and out of the families Mauri.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N has been clearing her mind out a little bit before she goes to talk to Spider. She wants to tell him that no matter what her parents tell her she isn’t going to stop seeing him. She finally feels free after standing up to her mom and she knows the perfect thing to say to Spider.

Y/N spotted Lo’ak talking with Tsireya so she walked over to them to ask Lo’ak if he knows where Spider is. “Hi, sorry to interrupt but I need to ask Lo’ak a quick question.” Y/N said getting their attention. “What’s up?” Lo’ak said in a curious tone. “Do you know where Spider is?” Y/N asked him. “Yeah, he’s in our Mauri with Kiri and Tuk.” Lo’ak answered her question. “Okay, thank you.” Y/N said and walked towards the Sully’s Mauri.

When Y/N walked into the Mauri she saw Spider sitting on the floor with Tuk and Kiri playing a game that Tuk most likely came up with. “Hi.” Y/N said only getting Kiri and Tuk’s attention. “Hi, Y/N!” Tuk said with an excited smile. “What brings you here?” Kiri asked in a curious tone. “Do you want to play my game with us?” Tuk asked before Y/N could answer Kiri’s question which made Kiri playfully roll her eyes at her. “Sure, but I need to talk to Spider outside first.” Y/N said which made Spider look up at her. “If that’s okay with him.” Y/N added. Spider gave her a nod as he stood up. Kiri and Tuk shared a smile as Spider followed Y/N outside.

“Y/N I don’t want to get you in trouble again.” Spider told her with worry. “I told my mother that no matter what her and my father tell me it’s not going to keep me away from you.” Y/N told him in a reassuring tone. “I love hanging out with you because it makes me happy!” Y/N told him with a warm smile. “Me too.” Spider said as his cheeks turned a light shade of red.

“Don’t listen to what everyone says. You’re not you’re father. You are a much better man than him.” Y/N told him locking her blue eyes with his brown eyes. “I see you.” Y/N told him. Spider smiled as he took one of her hands into hers just like she did earlier with his’s. “I see you, too.” Spider told her as he held onto her hand tight.

[mtdthoughts]

Reiko's Son (Migi & Dali Analysis)

This post contains heavy *spoilers* from Episode 11 of the Migi & Dali anime (equivalently, Ch. 39 - 40 of the manga), so please keep this in mind.

Here's a preposterous idea, but hear me out: Dali is Reiko's son.

I don't mean this in any literal or familial sense, since Metry is Dali's mother and since Reiko chose Eiji to be her son. But, it is noticeable that although Dali is the spitting image of Metry, his personality is nothing like hers, and is in fact closer to Reiko's.

Indeed, it is hard to discount Reiko's role as a "parent" (as twisted as it may be) since she saw Metry as an extension of herself and coerced her into an affair with Akira that resulted in the triplets. Thus, Dali can be seen as Reiko's son in a figurative sense, where he inherited some of her traits from this twisted parenthood.

The fact there are three triplets (Migi, Dali, Eiji) to three parents (Metry, Reiko, Akira) suggests a correspondence between parent and child. We can easily form associations between Metry and Migi and between Akira and Eiji. After all, Migi is the spitting image of Metry even down to the direction of their hair, and has her goofy and loving personality. Meanwhile, Eiji not only looks like his father Akira, but is also a model student seeking to become a doctor like him, and both can be surprisingly oblivious. This leaves us with one pair, Dali and Reiko, who are both arguably the most complex and interesting characters of their respective trios.

It pains me slightly to compare my favorite character in the story to the psychopathic and downright demonic Reiko, but there’s too much evidence for me to say otherwise, and the parallels that can be drawn bring a deeper meaning to the story.

Here are all the links I’ve thought of:

A superficial observation, but their hair is in the same direction. Furthermore, Dali chooses long black hair when disguised as Sali, perhaps looking like a younger Reiko. Also, both are noted by others as very attractive.

Eiji's central figure in his life is his mother Reiko, and it is curious that he falls in love with Sali.

Both are (dangerously) intelligent, controlling, and manipulative characters that operate in the shadows and often conceal their true feelings and motives. It's almost as if their intelligence was a curse.

Just as Reiko keeps up her appearance as the perfect woman, mother, and neighbor, Dali keeps up his appearance as the perfect boy, son, friend, student, and even brother. It is likely that both characters have hidden insecurities, as their natural talents have caused others to regard them highly, causing them to have high expectations on themselves.

Both are very meticulous, as Dali has a habit of drawing schematics for his plans, while Reiko surveils Origon Village and keeps a diorama of the village along with the residents’ data.

Both are strangely proficient in hypnosis.

Reiko is surprisingly quick, stealthy, and proficient with weapons. If there’s anyone capable of rivalling the twins’ dexterity, it’s her.

Both have obsessions that they are willing to go to great lengths for and may resort to cutthroat measures (sometimes literally). Ironically, these obsessions are the sources of their unhappiness and drive them closer to insanity.

Dali began to descend into insanity when he cast away Migi for revenge while Reiko saw the kind and loving Metry as a devil when she thought that Metry was trying to steal her perfect life. They both have deluded themselves into self-justification, though Dali broke out of this after realizing how important Migi was to him when he almost killed him.

Dali almost became a killer (good thing he only used a pumpkin), while Reiko is an actual cold-blooded killer.

The imagery of Reiko saying that Metry was a part of her shows that she inserted herself as a second mother of this pregnancy. Perhaps this is a metaphor for conceiving Dali, an identical older brother to Migi in a similar way that Reiko was an older sister to Metry.

The Migi-Dali and Metry-Reiko relationships parallel each other: a) Migi looks up to Dali as his cool and reliable older brother, and Metry looks up to Reiko as a perfect older sister, as Dali and Reiko are (generally) the more competent ones in their respective pairs. b) At the start of the story, Migi tried to be like Dali by imitating him, and Metry wanted to be a perfect woman like Reiko. c) Dali enjoyed Migi's company, as did Reiko with Metry before she learned of her own infertility. d) Dali betrays Migi with the Sali ruse for the sake of revenge, and Reiko betrays Metry for the sake of perfection by forcing her to have an affair with Akira and then stealing Eiji from her. e) Migi runs away from Dali just as Metry runs away from Reiko. f) Migi almost dies after getting caught up in Dali’s revenge while Metry actually dies trying to take back Eiji from Reiko.

Hopefully, this is enough evidence for the theory, but what’s the purpose of it? I have a few ideas:

Parallels can be presented between Migi and Dali's story and Metry and Reiko's story, including how they ended. Metry died and Reiko succumbed to evil (and later died) to maintain her image of perfection, while Migi and Dali were able to escape a similar fate because of their strong brotherly love.

Reiko’s mental illness and the fact that she is the main antagonist show us the type of person Dali could have become and highlight the importance of Dali’s internal conflict in battling his inner demons. Chapters 31 and 32 of the manga (or Episode 8 of the anime) shows Dali’s descent into madness and his ruthlessness. If anything had happened differently in the story, Dali could have become just like Reiko.

Conversely, Metry and Reiko's story could have ended differently if Reiko was able to find help and accept Metry and the twins as part of her family. I believe that she could have found real happiness and overcome her obsession for perfection. Instead, she rejected them and even attempted to murder them, and ultimately paid with her own life for her decisions. Migi and Dali's story highlights the tragedy of Metry and Reiko, as it shows us that if their love was powerful enough, Metry and Reiko could have found a way to make their complicated situation work.

It would be interesting if Dali ever thought about this connection. He’s a contemplative boy, so perhaps this did cross his mind at some point, which could somewhat explain his actions towards the end of the story.

It's quite ironic that Reiko almost killed Dali, the triplet who most resembled her, and that Dali was the catalyst for the series of events that led to her downfall and death. It’s a good thing that Reiko decided not to steal Dali from Metry, otherwise who knows how he might have turned out.

[pupphe-additions]

✬Evie's Idol Profile✬

✬Basics✬

Group: Stray Kids Stage Name: Evie English Name: Evelyn Kim Korean Name: Kim Nari (김나리) Nicknames: Eve, Lyn, Evie, Evs, Nani, Bear, Bug, Nini, Lovey, Vi and Ari Position: Dancer, Rapper, and Vocalist Birthday: July 6th, 1998 Zodiacs: Cancer/Tiger Birth Place: Sydney, Australia Ethnicity: Korean Nationality: Australian Languages:

English (native/fluent) Korean (fluent) Auslan (fluent) Auslan is Australian Sign Language Spanish (fluent) Japanese (learning/conversational)

Family: Grandma (Deceased), Grandfather (Deceased), Mother, Father, Older Brother, Younger Sister, a niece, and a nephew Instagram: skz.eve98

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

✬Physical✬

Height: 152.4cm (5’0) Weight: 44.9kg (99 lbs) Blood Type: A Body Modifications: belly button piercing, triple helix (left ear), lobe and upper lobe (both ears) | two tattoos Face Claim: Soyeon (G)I-DLE Dance Model:  1M Dance Studio Yoojung Lee [x] [x] [x] Rap and Vocal Model: Dreamcatcher Dami [x] [x]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

✬Personality✬

MBTI: INTP Positive Traits: Caring, open minded, loving, logical, empathic, intuitive, protective, and ambitious Negative Traits: Extreme stubbornness, perfectionist, jealous, can be rather moody and impatient Strengths: Open mindedness, curious, creative, talented, and passionate Weaknesses: Impatient, perfectionist, disconnected often, standoffish, low self esteem and self worth, and overthinks everything 3 Words She Would Use to Describe Herself: Hard working, loving, and open minded 3 Words STAY Would Use to Describe Her: Brave, caring, and understanding 3 Words Stray Kids Would Use to Describe Her: Rebellious, kind, and crazy

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

✬Statics✬

Visual: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ (8.5/10) Vocals: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (5.5/10) Rap: ★★★★★★★★★☆ (9/10) Dance:  ★★★★★★★★★★ (10/10) Choreographing: ★★★★★★★★★★ (10/10) Stage Presence: ★★★★★★★★★★ (10/10) Acting: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆ (4/10) Producing/Song Writing: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (6/10) Public Speaking: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (5.5/10) Other Variety: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ (8/10) Total: 76.5/100 Special Stat (Flexibility): ★★★★★★★★★★ (10/10) Special Stat (Video Gaming): ★★★★★★★★★★ (10/10)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

✬Career Information✬

Stage Name: Evie Agency(s): SM Entertainment (former trainee) JYP Entertainment (current) Training Period: 2010-2019  (almost 9 years) Group: Stray Kids Debut Date: 01-24-2019 Position(s): Dancer, Rapper, and Vocalist Individual Fandom: Lily Pads Representative Emoji/Animal: Koala 🐨 Unit: Dance Racha

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

✬Romance, Simplified✬

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Ideal Type: “Someone understanding and someone I can connect with. Someone who will love and care for me, but also someone who will call me out on my bullshit. I think that would be my ideal type.” Commenter: What about gender? Do you have a preference? Evie: As long as they love me that’s all that matters no? Gender doesn’t stop love! 

Relationship Status: Single

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

✬Trivia✬

Evie has two dogs named Aurora and Luna and a macaw named Comet.

Evie's sister is named Chloe (2001) and a brother named Hudson (1996)

Evie was originally on the show with the other members of Stray Kids but she got eliminated very early on and didn’t get a second chance as JYP didn’t think she was ready enough at the time. Evie mentioned on vLive how that made her feel like she would never be good enough to debut.

She has a serious case of RBF.

She enjoys being alone after a long day.

She is a masters overwatch 2 support player, she is also in diamond as DPS, and plat as tank.

She really enjoys playing games competitively.

She is very close with her older brother and his kids and calls him everyday for at least an hour.

She can come off as cold and intimidating when you first meet but she's actually just a massive softy.

She is allergic to shellfish and also has seasonal allergies.

She likes to assign people in her life with colors.

She has a group of idol friends that she talks to regularly and she doesn’t like making new friends unless she is with the other members of SKZ.

[startingfires]

you're actually a huge inspiration to me hdhjghghjh. like I think of you as an example that things will be okay idk how to explain it like you've been through so much shit and you still have the warmest sunniest vibes yk? i think of you as my cool baddie internet older sister who used to have social anxiety as bad as me and also grew up on the internet but moved to a whole ass other continent to study something she didn't even like and still figured it out and finds so much joy in everything?? and I admire that so much you're my adulting role model tbh and also especially when it comes to social stuff because i feel like you're so chill about that (in a way that is actually realistic for someone like me because i will never relate to people who have only ever lived in one place their whole life and have never struggled with social anxiety and have their best friends where they live) and i aspire to get there. anyway love you bestie 💛

hello??????? kavya it's too early to make me cry 😭

this is the sweetest and loveliest message 🥺 i can't even begin to express how much this means to me.

the fact that you view me like that is so mind boggling to me. not to get deep and sappy on main but you opened the floodgates so now you must deal with the consequences.

i never viewed myself as someone who has "warm and sunny vibes" or who "finds joy in everything". that was definitely not me for a long long time. i never thought that that was someone i was able to be.

i was extremely sad, anxious, stressed, self-loathing and depressed for a very long time. i did not think i would ever be able to be where i am now. we met at the end of that phase of my life. i suppose things got better after i finished high school, then a bit better after i moved, then a bit better after meeting certain people and then a bit better after leaving physics behind (with therapy and medication being a big help through it all). i'm saying this because it takes time. it sucks to hear but it's true. i am not the same person i was at 12, 14, 17 or 19.

i feel like now that i've dealt with my baggage, i've reverted to my child self. i have never felt more connected to her actually. i used to be very happy, sunny, active, caring and kind as a young child. then shit happened and i had to find ways to cope. this led to me closing myself off, isolating and shielding myself from everything and everyone. my only comfort came from books and the internet. i did not have any friends, sometimes i felt like i was barely even alive.

now after leaving all of that behind and starting to live the life i actually want to live, i still don't have many friends and the internet is still my safe space. but the friends i do have are the best people i could ever ask for. they remind me of my worth and that i am loved. despite the distance that separates us, they prove to my younger self that she is not alone and that people who understand her and accept her for who she is exist. and they're pretty fucking cool.

i suppose the being "chill" about social stuff comes from maturing (and therapy lol). in the last couple of years i decided that the right people will find me, i do not need to settle for whoever is around just because. i can be me and if they don't like it then it's their loss. i don't need to mold myself into what i think they expect me to be or into what i think will make me be liked. i'm tired of doing that. i don't need to do that. i know that people that like me for me and that accept all of me with all of my flaws exist. and i don't need to try with them. they don't drain me. they fuel me to be more myself.

yes, it is lonely. and that does not mean that my social anxiety is gone, far from it. but it does make things easier. not settling also goes for all areas of life. you do not need to be in a situation that is not bringing you joy or fulfillment. you don't have to stick to it just because that's what you think people expect from you. the people who really care about you just want you to be happy. you are allowed to change your mind and make mistakes. it's scary but i promise you that it is so so worth it.

it is hard to relate to people who have lived in one place for their entire life and have had the same friends since they were little. it does make you wish that that could have been you. it makes you feel displaced and alone. especially if you have had to deal with that from a young age. sadly, i do not have the answer to that specific issue. but it is nice and comforting to find people who have had similar experiences, even if they're not geographically close to you.

i've been writing this for way too long so it's time to wrap it up.

kavya, you are wonderful. i admire your passion, your drive, your openness and how you are unapologetically you. thank you for being in my life for all of these years. it has been a joy to see you grow. you will forever be my tumblr younger sister 💛💛💛 thank you for being in my life, i love you.

[nariyuwu]

let me in ! 𖦹 — lee heeseung smau

[ ipad kids ] — yn's friend group

▹ Kim Yn — noq1yn, notyn

⊹ recently got into a life threatening car accident that made her lost parts of her memories, kind of crazy.. just got into high school but hates it already, she says its tiring, LOVES newjeans, her parents thinks after she woke up from her coma she lost more of her sanity.

▹ Lee Hyun-Joo — leehyunjoo

⊹ yns bestfriend since ages, lee heeseung's younger sister, was gonna kill yn when she woke up from her coma bcus why is she so careless it worried Joo to death!!! self proclaimed as ipad kids' therapist

▹ Yoon Jeonghan — yo_on

⊹ basically the mom of the group, the only boy for some reason?? evil but vv nice and caring, listens to their problems, sometimes hes a bully but its okay bcus pretty privileges, was very worried when yn got into a coma and paid her a visit everyday, yns non biological brother basically

▹ Huh Yunjin — yuwunjin

⊹ kind of concerning username 😧 eunchae's 4 lyfers, says dont pick favourites but let only eunchae calls her yunji, will get mad if u call her yunji!! very slay yasss, brings yn flowers for the past 4 months she was in a coma, cried when she woke up.

▹ Hong Eunchae — eun_chaechae

⊹ LOVE LOVE LOVE YN, ADORES YN, yn is basically her aesthetic, super adorable, is like yns non biological sister, cried so much and was so sad the whole 4 months yn was in a coma 💔 was super happy and cried AGAIN after yn woke up.

▹ Jang Wonyoung — wonbunni

⊹ the super model friend 😍 super pretty and super sweet and super nice and super cute, was glad yn woke up from her coma, the most sane out of the 6 people, yns sugar mommy basically.

mlist! | next

notes! : ouuu double update yass anyways, uhmmm i hope you'll like this smau and support it, i am still suffering from heeseung brainrot ☹️💔, im not very funny so.. i just hope you guys will like it in the long run, also a headsup i dont have an exact time to post but ill try to uhm do my best for u guys 😁😁

taglist! : open!! sent ask if u want to be added

@luvistqrzzz @miukityy @aernx @gyuszie @haechansbbg @woon2u

[nekogobrrr]

Hello everybody!! Big massive announcement and achievement, me and my best friend made a book together which has taken literal years to create - it just got out on the kindle app! I am the illustrator 🙂 We’ve worked really hard and even just a sample read would help so much and we’d love feedback 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Loud, brash, headstrong, and entering her third year of high school, Dakota McGregor has a bad reputation—but it's not her fault. Well, not entirely.

She and her friends haven't exactly acted like the best role models, and she doesn't mind introducing her knuckles to whoever causes any of them trouble. Though Dakota has grown up in Hollygate, Varona, for years, people give her a shoulder colder than the subarctic climate Varonans call home. And it all has to do with that elemental symbol she so gladly wears every day—an emblem that, in the present-day 2113 world, tends to evoke either hate or fear.

That same emblem will soon draw more than just local negative attention. While elemental wielding and magic arts sink further into a rapid decline in favor of technology's increasing influence, a vengeful cult of unknown entities is scouring the planet in secrecy. Aware of ancient knowledge that society aims to abandon, they seek forgotten artifacts of mystic power that most of the public can't even hope to use. When the malicious group appears in the Far North to take their search through Varona, silent watchers from beyond decide it's time to recruit a team of elemental wielders for a special case.

With graduation less than two years away, Dakota just wants to have fun with her quirky crew and beat down the paralyzing weight of a past accident with optimism for the present and future. But while they each have their own inner turmoil marring them, the troubled teens may find themselves carrying targets on their backs and burdens of responsibility as they build upon their powers and skills to ward off the constant threat of bloodthirsty danger—both new and painfully familiar. Past, present, and future are barreling toward them all at once, whether they're ready or not. Just how far are they willing to go—and how far can Dakota actually go—for a turbulent world that doesn't want their kind around?

Content Guidance and Warnings:

This novel contains, explores, and references numerous sensitive themes and mature subjects, including: frequent fantasy violence; gun violence; strong language; graphic depictions of blood and gore; death; crude, mature, and morbid humor not suitable for younger audiences; drug and alcohol use; discrimination, hate speech, and fictional slurs; mental illness; self-harm; suicide; abuse, torture, and sadism; and unnerving imagery. Because of the potentially offensive, disturbing, or triggering content, reader discretion is heavily advised. Please read with care, and always do your best to stay safe and look after yourselves and those around you.

Dakota: Elemental Rebirth https://amzn.eu/d/a8CYOWc

[spacefinch]

Octonauts Pearl headcanons/appreciation post

She’s my favorite Octo Agent. Hands down.

Okay time for headcanons:

A few years older than Shellington.

Also autistic (it runs in her family.) Just like Shellington has his satchel, Pearl has her headband and fanny pack as her comfort items.

Her favorite school subject was/is maths. And she stands by it being referred to in the plural. Of course, she also loves biology as well.

Small things like rocks, seashells, plants, algae, and microorganisms endlessly fascinate her. She could spend hours looking at one tidepool and pointing out all the different species of algae growing in it.

Was always the favorite sibling (much to hers and Shellington’s displeasure). She was a model citizen in her parents’ eyes: neat, organized, not clumsy, and most importantly, able to eat sea urchins without getting sick. Pearl was everything that Shellington wasn’t, but Shellington never resented her for that.

An early riser. Partly because she has responsibilities, but mostly because the local sea lions and gulls make a huge racket in the morning.

When she was younger, Pearl’s hairstyle was much like Shellington’s. As a teen, she trimmed her own bangs— and has done so ever since.

Despite being older, she is the shortest of the sea otter siblings. Shellington never lets her hear the end of it.

Instinctively goes into older sibling mode or parent mode whenever someone’s out of line.

Don’t know what her music taste would be, but she seems like she’d enjoy indie folk music or classical music.

A few headcanons for Periwinkle as well:

Takes after Shellington, considering his curious personality.

Definitely a train/truck kid. (Source: he made his own Gup-M model. I also have two younger cousins who went through a train phase.)

Travels around a lot, which is an unusual upbringing for a sea otter. Both his mom and uncle lived along the coast of Scotland until they were old enough to go to college. By contrast, Peri is barely in elementary school and he’s already been all over the world.

Makes friends very, very easily. Like: an Octonaut, Octo-agent, or some random creature will just be existing and Peri will just go right up to them and declare them his new best friend.

Gets super excited about visiting “Uncle Shellington” and the other Octonauts. (This is kind of canon, but also me self-projecting. I too get excited to see my aunts and uncles and cousins.) He’s come to think of the Vegimals as his cousins.

More headcanons:

There’s probably more sea otters we haven’t seen yet in the Octonauts universe, since A) the whole existence of otter scouts implies the existence of lots of otters, and B) both river otters and sea otters are semi-social creatures, often living in small groups.

[five-nights-at-whoopees]

Meet the Characters: Part 3

so, due to apparent popular demand- i am going to be writing about the security guard next! i did place this up to poll, and i genuinely wasn't expecting Heidi Weinerman to win but here we are- i do plan on setting this up differently because if i get myself burnt out from my own fixations, i might actually cry so,

Heidi was honestly chosen because I thought she had the most connection to our boys; and yes, Nomi is still there (also to clarify right now, he is not nomirandy- he's the Nomicon but i decide to be self indulgent that's it)

I will say this, she does not get to have a good time- even if she isn't directly tied to the missing five incident

General Background;

Heidi is still the oldest of the Weinerham siblings- they have roughly two years of age difference in this universe because I said so. Of course, due to this the relationship between her and Howard is a little bit strained but overall, it could be worse. I honestly headcanon Heidi to be born somewhere in summer or fall, but we'll get right to the point- there is no favoritism in the Weinerham family, not a single bit. Mort is not that kind of parent and specifically for this universe, he is divorced! He values both his children equally, but of course Mort is a busy man and he still had to leave Heidi to care for her younger brother

Things at first, they were fairly normal. Heidi was fine helping out around the house, though somewhere around the time Howard turned three- a new addition was made to the family so to speak. Mort Weinerman and one of the neighbors, Ayumi, had arranged a playdate between their two sons: Howard and Randy. Almost immediately, the boys had it hit off and Heidi honestly felt glad that her brother could make friends this way. It wasn't uncommon to see Randy over at the Weinerman household (Heidi could never fully remember his name but oh well, if it made Howard happy-)

As the years passed, Heidi discovered her love for media- doing mostly home videos before ShoobTube truly kicked off in popularity. Her family had always been modest with their money, and Heidi certainly didn’t ask for much. She tended to film using an older camera (if anyone’s genuinely curious, i can share the model of the camera later!) and would do narration videos!

Though it was on Randy’s eighth birthday party that everything fell apart- Heidi was only ten but she was far from dumb and seeing Howard’s panic when no one could find Randy was heartbreaking (she still remembers when the police showed up, talking to the guests and trying to make sense on how multiple kids had suddenly gone missing) After that, Heidi found herself in a strained rivalry with her brother- more so than before and she couldn’t blame him. Randy had been a constant in their lives, except now he was gone and Heidi didn’t know what to think

As the years passed, Heidi continued using media and film- becoming one of the most watched people on ShoobTube within her high school. She began doing other forms of content: viral videos, ‘exclusive’ interviews, gossip received from students. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, and it was what led her to going to college for Media Production but with still trying to find a good agency to work for and deciding she needed something to do with her time- well, things certainly got interesting

… and we get to the present

Current Information;

Heidi is currently 28 (which makes Howard about 25/26-); despite still having a presence on ShoobTube- she was hoping to do more with her life, but it was proving a lot harder than it needed to be. Nothing would have prepared her for choosing to be a security guard at Whoopee World- it had been an ad on a streaming site and the next thing, an idea formed in her head. Perhaps it might never work but if she didn’t, no one would

She might be able to get answers; make sense of the missing children case from nearly thirty years ago, and well- she felt she owed it to Howard and to Randy, and let Norrisville rest after the devastation. Heidi was quick to make an appointment for an interview and strangely enough, she got it almost right on the spot. This would be easy; simply make it through the week, gather as much information as she could and if need be- work for a little longer, if it meant putting an end to this entire mess

Nothing prepared her for the strange call she got on the first night- Heidi blinked, not understand as the warning of the animatronics’ free-roaming mechanism. She was even more startled when it claimed that the animatronics wandered, that they would attempt to stuff her into a suit… but she pushed through and things got even weirder

Was she dreaming? It had almost sounded like a cry, a child’s scream but it couldn’t have been- and that was made her come back. Heidi had no idea what she was getting herself into, what this would unravel in the end but of course, nothing was ever that simple

Heidi Weinerman was going to solve the mystery. No matter what

Headcanons;

🎬 Heidi is ADHD. She has a fixation on media and film, and hopes one day to become a professional producer but for now- she has a job as the security guard at Whoopee World

🎬 Heidi is feisty- she stops at nothing to get what she wants, but even then she is very protective of those she cares about! She has intervened when Howard was being bullied in high school, and is too stubborn to quit when attempting to uncover the truth

🎬 She tends to keep her hair loose or in a ponytail

🎬 Heidi isn’t one to fully believe in the paranormal (but she also has heard the wails- the weird childlike screams; to ‘save them’ and she’s begun to question)

🎬 She is friends with Debbie Kang in present times. Heidi and Debbie weren’t fully close during their high school years but at the same time, similar interests call for friendships! They are both equally as determined for the truth

🎬 The relationship she has with her brother strengthened once more in adulthood, but they both lead different lives

🎬 Heidi doesn’t have dreams of the incident like some of the others do- (at least not in the current moment)

There will be more to come soon! I hope you enjoyed this because ohhh I am just getting started- stay safe, everyone and happy Pride!