#I kinda just wanna prioritize people who have joy for things

[kimabutch]

Everyone's guilty of this at least occasionally, but I do think that making fun of people for enjoying harmless & fun things is just kinda inherently unpleasant and pathetic, and that when we find ourselves falling into that, we should reevaluate the type of person are in the world

[rottenpumpkin13]

Pumpkin! Thoughts on the First Soldier pt. 1 finale? What did you think? Rosen’s death? Miniroth? The locket? Adult Seph? Glenn?

Thoughts on getting young Angeal and possibly Genesis? 👀

Also Hojo…

(I didn't play the First Soldier 🥲) But I do have thoughts! Wall of text incoming

It was really good to see Sephiroth form a bond with Matt, Glenn and Lucia, since everyone kinda had the idea that Sephiroth didn't have any friends before Gen and Angeal came along. But the trio were his first real friends :') Uncle Glenn was the best older brother figure, and it sucks that they didn't have that much time together.

I like the glimpse we got into Sephiroth's personality/life as a youngster, especially since it confirmed things like him wishing he knew more about his mother with the photograph, his reaction to being called a cyborg hinted at a possible struggle with his humanity from a very early age. Overall he portrayed the lack of experience and awkwardness you'd expect from a teenager who grew up isolated from kids his age, trained to be a weapon. I saw people on Twitter say they woobified him in FS, but he's literally just being a child?? A child who didn't have any experience interacting with the outside world at that.

We got confirmation that Sephiroth was abused by Hojo, and the teaser we have for chapter 2 kinda leads us to believe we're gonna see more about that. It feels like I'm strapped onto a rollercoaster going 200mph in the "Hojo is a creepy abusive bastard" direction and I don't like it.

Another thing I noticed is that Sephiroth's tendency to prioritize the safety of those he cares about over Shinra's orders was evident even from a young age. I'm curious to see how this trait will unfold when Angeal (and hopefully Genesis) roll around.

The thing with Rosen's death: Sephiroth was ultimately cornered into an inescapable situation, but I think what happened in Rhadore could've only ended in Sephiroth's losing his friends or them all dying. Glenn's unwavering determination to save Rosen and leave the island likely would have overridden any attempt to listen/adhere to Rosen's wishes. It's doubtful he would've even considered Rosen's reasoning, which could've ended in disaster.

It's still mind boggling to me that it was Glenn of all people who ended up being responsible for losing the locket again lol. I think we're gonna see it resurface again but this time without Lucrecia's photo. (because that would be mean to Sephiroth) (Square loves torturing Sephiroth 🙃)

Speaking of which, what really stuck out to me about the cutscene with adult Sephiroth is how— despite his involvement in Shinra's war crimes and every vile thing he did for them—he still tried to do good in his own way. AND THE WAy he mentioned Glenn when he was going on about compassion being able to counteract evil, hinting that Glenn planted that seed in his heart....🥲🥲🥲💔💔💔

Sephiroth never aspired to be a hero, he was forced into it, but he had a deep desire to help people, and it makes his pre-Nibelheim personality as a whole so bizarre. (Bizarre in a good way because he was a cinnamon roll stained with the blood of Shinra's enemies). Despite Shinra's (and Hojo bitch ass) attempts to mold him into a weapon, he retained that genuine kindness within him. When he saved the troopers you could see the genuine pride he felt in his actions. But the moment a camera appeared his joy was shattered, I guess because he knew that his act of heroism would be twisted into Shinra propaganda, and he would once again be celebrated not for the good he did, but because it played into this untouchable celebrity image they stuck him with.

I hope we see more Glenn in part 2 (before he dies) (ouch). I wanna see how his, Matt's and Lucia's desertion unfolded and how he ended up joining Wutai's side. Another burning question I have is whether Glenn and Genesis ever crossed paths. Considering Glenn's comment to Sephiroth about "looking for a friend," it seems he knew about Genesis' desertion in Wutai. But I wonder if there was an interaction between them where Glenn shared his own experiences of desertion and possibly even encouraged Genesis to do the same. It's just a theory I have that won't even be touched on BUT I WISH, OKAY? A Glenn + Genesis interaction about Sephiroth is all I ask for lol.

I'm dreading Glenn's death because it's going to be utterly heartbreaking for Sephiroth, especially considering he's already grappling with Genesis' desertion based on the timeline.

Another mini theory I have is that the introduction of Angeal and Genesis could mirror Sephiroth's initial encounter with Glenn, Matt, and Lucia, who eventually deserted. It seems like a parallel storyline, and by the end of chapter 2, we might dive into the Crisis Core storyline that explores Angeal and Genesis's desertions. Idk it's just a theory, since Sephiroth befriending people who later abandon SOLDIER is a pattern 🙃

That coupled with Glenn's death sets up a scenario where Sephiroth loses everyone he cares about in a very short span of time.

Also,

FUCK HOJO

No actually don't fuck Hojo, fucking Hojo and people in white coats is what lead to the entire FF7 storyline.

Thank you for letting me rant lol ❤️

Btw the thing I'm most excited for is Baby Angeal idc. If you couldn't tell already by this blog, I'm a Crisis Whore big fan of Crisis Core :)

[theambitiouswoman]

Hi sissy 💖❤️

After a long time! How are ya???

How to not have FOMO? Because I'm kinda having FOMO and I just wanna focus on my goals .. but the distractions are so much I also do feel like having it?!?!!!!

I have JOMO :) joy of missing out.

If you are prioritizing distractions over goals and ultimately yourself what does that say about how much you value yourself?

Missing out on what?

Another party

Another outing

Another dinner

All distractions. All yield the same result: getting you nowhere.

Eventually you will get tired of it. You will meet new people and repeat the same cycle over and over and find yourself in the same position. Take it from someone who has LIVED and traveled everywhere. It’s always the same thing. It never changes. Distractions are going to be there always.

By all means, go to dinner and go to parties but none of those things should come before YOU and your goals. They are secondary. And if they do not add value then it should not even be a discussion to be had.

Start putting yourself first. You aren’t missing out on Anything when you are getting your life together. The parties the dinners the people are always going to be there.

[cemetery14]

me comparing akashi to billie songs : )

the time has come for me to rant about why almost all of my akashi playlist is billie eilish, sometimes im bad at wording my thoughts and i just wanna go "yknow that one billie eilish lyric? yeah thats him"

idk why i just really relate music to whatever in into at the moment, like obsessively

a couple are just gonna be vibe based but some will also be very detailed 0_0 im just gonna go in order of my playlist

i dont need to explain myself on this one but,,, he literally had a "nah im gonna be the bad guy" moment

"I had a dream I got everything I wanted Not what you'd think And if I'm being honest"

akashi winning everything and being perfect at everything and realizing that it brings him no joy

"It might've been a nightmare To anyone who might care"

"Nobody even noticed I saw them standing right there Kinda thought they might care"

'kinda thought they might care' this song really makes me think of akashi in teiko and realizing that none of the miracles care about him the way he cares about them, and none of them tried to help him if anything they made it worse

"I tried to scream But my head was underwater They called me weak Like I'm not just somebody's daughter"

"And it feels like yesterday was a year ago But I don't wanna let anybody know 'Cause everybody wants something from me now And I don't wanna let 'em down"

"If I knew it all then would I do it again? Would I do it again? If they knew what they said would go straight to my head What would they say instead?"

i love that last line for him 'would i do it again' 'what would they say instead' if only they knew how fragile akashi was would they have treated him differently? would akashi have wanted them to treat him differently?

"I used to float, now I just fall down I used to know but I'm not sure now What I was made for"

"Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real Just something you paid for What was I made for?"

akashi struggling with his own identify after being used by other his whole life

"I don't know how to feel But I wanna try I don't know how to feel But someday, I might"

"When did it end? All the enjoyment I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend"

akashi going from loving basketball to just seeing it as another thing he needs to win at

"Think I forgot how to be happy Something I'm not, but something I can be Something I wait for Something I'm made for"

this song makes me think of akashi and mayuzumi :>

"I'm getting older, I think I'm aging well I wish someone had told me I'd be doing this by myself There's reasons that I'm thankful, there's a lot I'm grateful for But it's different when a stranger's always waiting at your door Which is ironic 'cause the strangers seem to want me more Than anyone before"

i bet akashi has a hard time making friendships with people his age, or just friendships in general

he deals alot with people older than him, like teachers and im sure his dad already had his talking with business partners and such

"Can't shake the feeling that I'm just bad at healing And maybe that's the reason every sentence sounds rehearsed Which is ironic because when I wasn't honest, I was still being ignored (Lying for attention just to get neglection) Now we're estranged"

neglect neglect neglect akashi is a victim of neglect, GIVE HIM ATTENTION OR HES GONNA ACT OUT

"Things I once enjoyed (ah-ah) Just keep me employed now Things I'm longing for Someday, I'll be bored of"

akashis love for basketball being twisted into just another thing hes expected to win

"I'm getting older, I've got more on my shoulders But I'm getting better at admitting when I'm wrong I'm happier than ever, at least that's my endeavor To keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure 'Cause to be honest, I just wish that what I promise Would depend on what I'm given (not on his permission) (Wasn't my decision) to be abused, mmm"

'im happier than ever at least thats my endeavor to keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure'

THIS LINE AAAAAAAAA this is how i would describe akashis character post birthday over, i just think it perfectly encapsulates him and how hes doing

"They're gonna tell you what you wanna hear Then they're gonna disappear Gonna claim you like a souvenir Just to sell you in a year"

akashi being taken advantage of

"I'm overheated, can't be defeated Can't be deleted, can't un-believe it I'm overheated, can't be defeated Can't be deleted, can't be repeated I'm overheated"

kinda vibes based but it makes me think of akashi and how he constantly has to be ON for interviews or just interacting with people he knows since hes extremely popular and how overwhelming it must get

"Did you think I'd show up in a limousine? (No) Had to save my money for security Got a stalker walkin' up and down the street Says he's Satan and he'd like to meet I bought a secret house when I was seventeen (Ha) Haven't had a party since I got the keys Had a pretty boy over, but he couldn't stay On his way out, made him sign an NDA, mm"

"You couldn't save me, but you can't let me go, oh, no I can crave you, but you don't need to know, oh-oh"

"At least I gave him somethin' he can cry about I thought about my future, but I want it now, oh-oh-oh Want it now, mm-mm-mm You can't give me up"

"Did I take it too far? Now I know what you are You hit me so hard I saw stars Think I took it too far When I sold you my heart How'd it get so dark? I saw stars Stars"

vibes based but like, heavy vibes

being rich and popular at such young age like EVERYONE knows akashi, having rapid success at such a younge age must be crazy

i also have I Didnt Change My Number, Therefore I Am, and You Should See Me In A Crown but those are mostly vibes based

i love you should see me in a crown for akashi, pretty boy on a power trip <3

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #404

“death doesn’t answer when i cried for help”

The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care? I'd be fucking devastated. It wouldn't feel real. Is there something you’re happy about at the moment? A few things. I'm still on that high of my APAP mask working, like I'm actually getting some fucking quality sleep, and I think I'm noticing the effects of my TMS therapy finally, too. My PTSD has most notably been much more bearable, and my interests are beginning to spread again. Do you want someone dead? No. Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? I mean yeah, I think that's pretty normal, even for someone without my issues. Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal? Oh, many times. What is something you tend to worry about? My health and future. What is something you do that is unhealthy? Sit at the computer for way too long. I'm absolutely certain my vision is as poor as it is partially because of me endlessly staring at screens. What is something you do that is good for you? I'm not afraid to prioritize my mental health. What last caused you to force a smile? I was watching a Mark video for the first time in a while and was just reminded of how much I love and appreciate that moron. What was the last video game you played? Was it fun? Because you said "video" game, I guess I'll exclude computer ones, in which case I'm pretty sure it was Silent Hill 2. Given it's one of my all-time favorite games, of course I think it's fun. It's one hell of an emotional ride. What is something not many people know about you? The fact I was a dancer for many years would probably surprise people once they have a good idea of me and what I like. What word describes your basic style? Lazy, honestly. I dress for comfort, and given that's usually just pj pants and a tank top... yeah, I don't put much effort into my clothing when I'm going most places. Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? She kinda beat around the bush, but yes. Have you ever wanted to kill yourself? On more than one occasion. If yes, what convinced you not to go through with it? Well, I did OD once, but on the other occasions, it was the fear of the unknown that deterred me. Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better? Omg no, thank god. I would NOT handle that well. Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)? I didn't know 'til a survey question asked it that there are people who don't brush their tongue when brushing their teeth. Like holy shit dude, there are SO many germs on your tongue, clean that shit. Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it? Ummmm the nearest that comes to mind is I guess taking my meds? I mean I do that every single day, but it's still a healthy choice for me. The motivation was because I am very serious about doing what I can for my mental wellbeing. What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master? I really can't think of something for the first half of the question, but I can tell you that right now I'm attempting to force a routine of applying a therapy technique called "opposite action" into my daily life, where you, well, do the exact opposite of what your depression tells you to not do. It is WAY harder than it sounds, but I'm doing it with reading 30 minutes a day! Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight? Not to my recollection, no. Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot? The last novel I finished, yes. It wasn't central to the plot. Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings? No, except in therapy when different therapists wanted me to experiment with it during a session. They just don't work for me. Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children? Yeah. Those are the one I'm especially self-conscious about. there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? Watching movies or TV. Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover? A makeover would be nice... Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? OKAY SO I actually have seen this custom-made once long after deciding I wanted it, but it was RIDICULOUSLY expensive. There's a location in the Silent Hill games called Heaven's Night, and I'd love love LOVE to commission someone to duplicate the neon pink sign of it to hang in my room. Hopefully one day I could still do it. Who makes you smile the most? Probably my cat, honestly. What piercings do you want/have? I've talked about the piercings I have, but I'll talk about those I want. My #1 is absolutely collarbone dermals, but as I've explained a billion times, I want to lose weight so the bones are more prominent for the sake of contrast; you can't really see my collarbones now, so I just think it'd look pretty dumb and random to just have random piercings somewhere around there with no dimension. I also want way more in my ears, dermals in my back dimples also once I've lost weight, my right nostril for the dozenth time (but this time I'll wear a hoop), and while I'd absolutely adore an undereye microdermal as well, it'd be pointless with glasses. :/ What's your favorite website? KM is my pride and joy and really feels like my online home, so despite using sites like YouTube more, that 'ole RP site has to be my fave. Do you own a fish tank with fish? No. I had fish bowls (AWFUL idea) as a kid, but never tanks Do you like the movie 300? Never seen it. Do you pop your knuckles? NOOOOOOOOOOO. I absolutely hate the sound. It makes me cringe and shiver. Do you have Photoshop? Yes. It comes in the Adobe CC photography bundle I have. Do you use tinypic or photobucket? I used Photobucket back in the day. Now I just upload to imgur. What’s your favourite song from the 1980s? You're talking to someone who adores classic rock/metal, haha. How about the 1990s? There are way too many songs to choose from. Have you won anything recently? No. How often do you make Excel tables? What for? Never. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? There was a poor fawn as roadkill on the highway recently. :/ Are you always available or online? Preeeetty much. Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like? I can eat whatever. Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? Steel. I'm allergic to silver, and I think steel is more subtle than gold. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon? I do it at a salon. If you have any, do you like your in-laws? I don’t have any. Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents? If they had a good reason, no. Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? As a kid I did because I thought Mom was meaner to me than my siblings, lol. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? ........... This question is a setup lmfao. Have you ever grown a berry bush? No. Have you done something new to your hair recently? No. It's been the same for quite a while. I wanna dye it badly. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? I'm diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety, so yeah. I take Klonopin once and day and Ativan as needed for attacks. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? HA, the first thing to come to mind was being noticed by Mark by making a viral (in the community, anyway) gif of he and his doggy. I shit you not, I couldn't sleep for three days lmfao. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? That I gained fucking seven pounds in two months at my last doctor appointment. I wanted to scream. How often do you have late nights out? Never. I'm a homebody. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No. It would absolutely make me less productive. If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now? Cool with a nice breeze, mostly clear skies, crisp air... That'd be nice right now. Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? I say it all the time: finish decorating my room. It's funny, because I KNOW I'll feel more at home and cozy with my bedroom more personalized. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Paranormal Entity. The ending was... a lot. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? Not that I can think of. .-. I hope I can achieve some... Have you ever had food poisoning? No, thank God. What are you listening to? "The Man Who Made a Monster" by Dance With the Dead. Do you think there will be a WWIII? I find it inevitable at some point down humanity's future. People are too hateful for it not to eventually. Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? Yeah. Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would? Maybe? Idk. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Yes, in some instances. Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you? Yes, when I was around 12. And I let it happen. It's one of my biggest regrets. Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? Of course it is. Emotional abuse can cut just as deep as some physical blows, or even deeper. Do you shop at Sephora for make-up? No. Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I'm actually not into TLoZ. Do you own a rosary? I did as a kid growing up in a Catholic Sunday school. If you were homeless, how would you cope? If I had no loved ones in my life and no sign of things getting better, I'm honestly preeetty sure I'd end my life.

[romancing-lady-whistledown]

the fandom was exactly like this, every time Lucas or Eliott weren't a perfect human and had flaws the fans here would say they were ruined. like Lucas saying some ignorant things on s5 and s6 doesn't mean they ruined him?? and it wasn't ooc he said some ignorant things on s3 as well. but he apologises. fans are obsessed with purity, they want their fave characters to be 'woke kings' . I read fics where Lucas was super "woke" and honestly it made me cringe so much bc that's not him

Hi anon! I have no idea when I recieved this as Tumblr never notified me about it, so I’m sorry if this response is really late! This got kinda long so I’ll leave my response under the cut.

 Personally when it comes to Elu-fanfiction (which is the only type of fanfiction I read, actually) I’ll enjoy anything that can give me the Elu-feelings, just in different ways depending on the genre/trope, and that also includes when they’re pure fluff and the angst that maybe would’ve happened in the actual show is cut down or cut out. Sure I’ll notice when Lucas or another character says something I could never hear canon Lucas say, but overall as long as the character has enough traits from Lucas, whether it’s more from soft Lucas or more from fiery Lucas, I’ll just take that as the writer using their freedom to make the tweaks to the characters that they wish for their story. With that being said, when it comes to the canon characters themselves and the way they’re created and presented in the show (and this is in general not just in Skam France, but definitely also in Skam France), I completely agree with you. Alot of people do want their favorite characters to be morally pure and fully woke, but that has never been Lucas or Eliott and personally I don’t know anybody in the real world who are perfect in that way either. 

To me personally a well-rounded and well-developed character is a character that on some level feels real and relatable, rather than a character that always pose as an example for the ideal response to every situation they’re put in. The latter will, to me personally, make them feel less real, well-rounded and relatable because nobody has the ideal response to every situation they’re put in. People do mess up and they mess up often, whether it’s in what they say or what they do. People also do grow and change and learn but that takes time. I won’t recognize any real human I know in a character that always does and says the right thing. That’s not to say that every character with flaws is a great character (examples of characters I personally don’t think are well-crafted, relatable or likable on any level are Charles from Skam France and, from the little I’ve seen of her, Kato from Wtfock). I think the key to creating a great character is giving them a combination of flaws and pleasant traits that make them either interesting or lovable or both, in a way that fit with the role they’re supposed to play in the story, whether it’s as an antagonist or a protagonist or something in between. 

What makes Lucas so lovable to me is the combination of him being hot-tempered and passionate and him also being very emotional and incredibly soft and sweet with the people he loves. He wears any emotion on his sleeve, whether it’s sadness or joy, anger or love. He’ll demand an explaination about Lucille multiple times until he gets one, but when he knows it’s Eliott and him he’ll turn into a softie who demands kisses every other minute and buys Eliott flowers and croissants when he’s not feeling well. He’ll lose his temper and he’ll sometimes say ignorant things as we saw in both S3 and in the newer seasons, but he’ll also apologize for things he say, as we saw both with Arthur, Lola and Chloe. Lucas is to me the perfect example of a character with a lovable combination of positive traits and flaws. 

My one big complaint about Lucas and Eliott’s parts of S5 and S6 is not that they were ruined in any way, it’s that I feel like the writers started an arc on screen that didn’t get a good conclusion on screen. They introduced insecurities for both Lucas and Eliott that we got to see them discuss with others (Imane, Arthur, Lola) but never with each other. We actually saw Eliott very rarely in S5 and Lucas very rarely in S6, but when we did see Lucas in S5 it was partly for the part of the storyline where Arthur felt left out and in S6 it was basically to set up the club-incident towards the end of the season (that he understandably got upset about), and in both S5 and S6 his tendency to get angry and speak before thinking (that always has been there) got a bit more focus on screen than his soft and sweet side (although it was still present), but that doesn’t mean that his soft side isn’t there just as much as before. To me that is a problem in the writing and storytelling with them prioritizing showing the angst a lot more than the happy or healing moments, instead of having a better balance, but it did by no means ruin Eliott, Lucas or Elu for me. I saw enough in S3 to fully believe that the conversations that needed to happen did happen or will happen, and sometimes conversations between them were referenced but not shown on screen, like when Lucas told Lola at the video-store that Eliott had explained her and Eliott’s relationship to him.

I think it’s important to acknowledge that Skam is always gonna be frustrating with things like this because of the one POV per season thing. Conversations that we would very much like to see will take place off screen when the main isn’t there, we did for example not see Isak and Even talk about Mikael and Isak’s jealousy or Noora and William talk about their drama in S4, we were always told about this through Sana, and the people we did see Lucas and Eliott discuss their insecurities with in S4-S6 were always the mains of their respective seasons. But the thing with Skam France is that they did break the POV for the Fifi-clip or Basile and Daphne talking during S5, so it’s hard not to wish that they could’ve done that here. I also wanna add that when I say I wish they gave Lucas and Eliott’s arc in S5 and S6 a good conclusion I don’t mean Lucas and Eliott getting rid of their insecurities so they’ll never be a potential cause of conflict ever again, because I don’t think insecurities work like that. I don’t think being in a loving relationship for a year will take those insecurities away. As I said earlier, growth takes time, and deep-rooted insecurities are certainly no exception to that.

Anyway, this got long and ranty and I’m sorry about that, but the bottomline is this: I definitely agree with you that there seems to be a huge need in for beloved characters to remain as morally pure and woke as possible in the fandom in order for them not be concidered “ruined”. In reality the flaws we saw in both Lucas and Eliott in S5 and S6 were, in my opinion, very much present in S3, I think they were very much in character, but the difference is that now we only got small glimpses of the characters, their words and their actions, they were not the main focus and we didn’t get to see them up close with all of their qualities explored the way we got in S3. We only got what we got in those glimpses, and sometimes that was a glimpse of Lucas and Eliott doing or saying something they shouldn’t have, but that doesn’t mean all the good qualities of them as characters and as a couple disappeared, we simply didn’t get to see the full picture on screen the way we did in S3. In S5 and S6 I had some issues with the storytelling for Elu, just like I did for other characters, but to me personally the characters and the couple were by no means ruined.

[hlupdate]

Harry Styles is an incredible live performer, always bringing infectious energy, captivating charm, and swoon-worthy vocals to the stage. I witnessed this trifecta of talent firsthand at iHeartRadio's Secret Session in New York City, where Styles blessed a group of lucky fans with an intimate interview and concert on Feb. 29. The 26-year-old singer first sat down with Tanya Rad from On Air With Ryan Seacrest to chat about his second studio album, Fine Line, and revealed why he chose "Golden" as the record's first song and how he's prioritizing his own happiness at this stage in his career.

Styles capped off the appearance by treating the crowd to six songs including "Adore You," "Watermelon Sugar," and "Falling," as well as two throwbacks from his 2017 album, "Kiwi" and "Sign of the Times." Keep reading for all the standout quotes from his onstage Q&A, each paired with photos from the iHeartRadio event. And if you're still craving more Styles content, get the scoop on his other secret NYC concert that took place on Feb. 28. He sure knows how to stay busy!

On How He Played by His Own Damn Rules While Making Fine Line

"At the start of this album process, I had a little bit of expectation of what I thought people wanted me to do, and I'd kinda try and tick some boxes. I can obviously only speak from personal experience, [but] I just found that every time I try and tick boxes, I make my least favorite music. I think just kind of accepting you have to make the kind of album you want to make in the moment and not be like, 'OK, let me make a big commercial album and in 10 years make the album I wanna make.' It'd never make me happy. I don't think it'd make anyone who listens to it happy. And I don't think that's who I really want to be."

On the "Biggest Compliment" a Fan Can Give Him

"It's amazing if people can relate to your music. I'm just a fan of music. I don't think I operate on any kind of higher level of listening than anybody else. I just love music, and I make what excites me, and I think if somebody else can relate to it and take something from it, then that's the biggest compliment they can give me."

On the Significance of "Golden" and Why It's the First Song on Fine Line

"'Golden' was once we really started writing the album. We wrote it on day two of when we'd started, so I felt really excited about it. We would listen to it, and we'd dance around the studio and be like, 'I love this! I don't know if it's good, I don't know if it's bad, but we love it.' I would drive into work every day, and I would listen to it most days on the way in, so it became the soundtrack to the making of the rest of the album. We were driving down by the ocean, and when I listen to it now, it feels like I’m driving by the ocean.”

When I would come to play people the new music who hadn't heard anything before the singles or anything like that, it was always the first song that I played for people. I realized that carried quite a lot of weight. I think it's a very good representation of where we've moved from the first record. It's one of my favorites, and it feels quite sunny. It just set the tone, and I just wanted it to be how [the album] opened up."

On Why He Rarely Explains the Meaning Behind Song Lyrics

"I tend not to explain some things too much because I think it's important to allow it to mean whatever it means to other people. There are songs that I've loved in my life where I find out that it's about something else, and then I'm almost like, 'I wish I didn't know that.'"

On the Vulnerability of Fine Line

"When I start making stuff, I don't think about it coming out. I don't think about album release date, first single, second single. I don't really think about it. I start off writing it for me and for you [the audience]. I start off writing it for myself, and I just find that I make more honest music that way.

I think there are a lot of parts of [Fine Line] that are vulnerable and emotional and I guess sad at times. But what I love about the album so much is that even in the saddest moments, there's quite a lot of optimism and there's moments of joy."

On Why He's Focusing on What Makes Him Happy

"I'm very old now! I think you just reevaluate things. And I think that happens at several different points in your life. I don't think it will be the last time that I reevaluate what's important to me. I think it happens to everyone in different times of your life where you think you want something, and you get it and you go, 'Oh, that didn't make me as happy as I thought it was going to make me.'

And then, you kind of look for different things and I guess I just put a lot more emphasis on trying to find the balance and trying to do what makes me happy rather than trying to work out what I'm supposed to be doing. So that's been great."

[bigskydreaming]

yeah if you wanna talk realism then there's no way jason and tim got to bruce's and dick's levels so quickly. especially jason. bruce trained for most of his life and dick was raised as an acrobat and then spent the rest of his life training martial arts. tim and jason couldn't have reached that in the few years they spent as robin. so lets not bring realism into it cause then we all come off as asshats and it's not nice.

I mean, its just so dumb to me. I’ve never once been tempted to try and diminish Jason or Tim’s skills compared to Dick by citing the time frames their training took place in….especially given that those time frames IMO were basically random numbers writers with no real experience with any of those skillsets themselves just pulled out of their asses, because they honestly didn’t care whether it was believable or not. Like sure, one could feasibly make that argument if they really wanted to, but….why? What’s even the point? At the end of the day we’re still talking about child superheroes the entire DC fandom just accepts as being able to outlast, outmatch or outperform every child superhero with actual superpowers, just as their dad can do the same with literally every adult superhero, as far as most people are concerned.

Realism is just such an absurd argument to bring into this IMO, whether its in the name of propping up a character or diminishing a character, because like….by all means, I’m right there with anyone who wants to argue real world implications or ramifications to comic book stuff, because as long as a comic book is a mirror of our world to any degree, those things don’t go away just because something happens in a comic book instead of real life.

But its an entirely different thing when you’re trying to argue real world logistics as applied to comic book stories, because the very nature of the medium is a kind of absurdism. Like, its literally the point? Its larger than life, four color shit from the bottom to the top, solely for no other reason than it CAN be, that the medium ALLOWS for it to be. Superhero comics are literally the place where anything goes, so long as you can justify it in-story. Absolutely I think you still need to have internal consistency. The things you claim happen in a story should make sense according to the internal logic or rules set forth by that story, otherwise its just…plot holes. But that’s got nothing to do with realism, its purely how….storytelling works.

Like, I use the “Dick started as Robin at eight” timeline for literally no other reason than its the version of events that gives him the most time with Bruce for the much talked about and always referenced strong bond they have to form, and it gives him the most time and experience as a trained vigilante, which in turn, to me, accomplishes the far greater task of justifying Dick’s extreme and undisputed competence in the eyes of basically the entire superhero and supervillain communities, by the time he’s an adult and Nightwing.

I mean, that’s literally the only reason I go with that, and the reason I prioritize ‘what age he debuts as Robin makes Dick’s reputation and experience as an adult hero seem most plausible’ over ‘what age he debuts as Robin seems most plausible’….. 

Is because there’s literally no childhood age where if you ask me, the things that are expected of and taken for granted with any and all of the Robins in either the comics or most fics…are remotely plausible.

Like, it doesn’t weird me out to write Dick starting as a costumed vigilante at age eight, because…..if I’m honestly viewing things through that lens…..then….him, any of them, starting at age ten isn’t any less ridiculous? Starting as a vigilante at age twelve isn’t any less ridiculous to me? Fourteen is barely plausible but stretching it, and still would require leaning heavily into the idea that the teen vigilante still had a literal lifetime of training under their belt in at least one of the relevant skillsets like acrobatics or martial arts….I mean ‘realistically,’ if we’re really trying to play that game, I would have trouble taking literally any story about any Robin ‘seriously’ unless they were at least sixteen or so….

And if you have them all start out as Robin at age sixteen or more, then….not only does that put a serious cramp in how much history/bond/partnership Bruce can develop with any of his Robins and y’know…family….in a comparatively vastly reduced time frame….but also, that pretty much negates the entire premise and point of Robin in the first place. Seeing as how IMO Robin basically exists as the quintessential youth empowerment archetype, heavy emphasis on youth….as well as at least in its early decades, doubling as the embodiment of childhood joy/innocence/potential as superpowers unto themselves.

*Shrugs* Bottom line is I honestly don’t think any one of us would be here if we were really dependent on viewing any of the Bat characters through any kind of ‘realism’ lens. The very nature of Robin’s existence kinda expects a suspension of disbelief regarding a child’s ability to go toe-to-toe with skilled foes with powers, resources and experiences far beyond anything he can comparatively match….and yet still walk away or come out on top most of the time anyway. And again, you ask me, the second you buy into that premise to any degree, you’re kinda sacrificing your right to play the ‘but realism!’ card, no matter what age we’re talking about specifically, so like….I honestly have trouble seeing where one specific ‘c’mon now, seriously?’ age is any more or less believable than any other.

And this actually really ticks me off, lol, even though its not that deep, because like…..the fact is I fully believe anyone who is able to conceptualize and word things as well as I know the particular poster whose post annoyed me is in fact capable of….like, they damn well know this themselves, and is just willfully pretending otherwise for the sake of making a bullshit argument they know is bullshit and yet are still making anyway because it suits their bullshit agenda….which in the context of an argument like that, like…it isn’t even “oh I don’t like this character or his stories and here’s why” which I mean, I get….but instead this kinda thing is “and also you shouldn’t like this character and his stories either and here’s why, even though I absolutely would never apply this same logic to any one of MY faves.”

I mean, I know its same shit, different fandom, and a lot of this is just carried over irritation after six years in TW fandom where people like…fucking ran strategic military campaigns committed to making sure as few people liked the main character as possible, lmfao….but its just, nothing about this kinda thing is remotely novel or original and I’m soooooo tired of people being so blatantly fake about their intentions, when its like….who even fucking cares? 

Did you win a prize for pretending you didn’t hate that character you actually hate? Did you score all the points by being so slick that nobody caught on that you SOUNDED like you like this character even though you actually only posted to drop in these five different reasons people should actually hate that character instead? Is literally anything anyone gains from this kinda fake BS worth the time and effort they put into pretending they have a different opinion than the one they want people to actually internalize and agree with, because the fake opinion they’re pretending to have is actually one that they hate?

*rolls eyes so much they fall out of skull*

LMFAO, sorry, you didn’t set me off, just…..this kind of behavior is just such a pet peeve of mine. Its like hearing nails on a chalkboard for me, just gets under my skin, lolol. And also its lame and boring and dumb and what if people didn’t work so hard to be so fake all the time, I’m just wondering. For like. Science and stuff.

[gg-astrology]

Can you do an aries rising with decans? Xx

Hey there!!! I’m here to deliver!! 🔥

[Below Cut: Aries Rising + different decans 🔥]

Aries - Aries/Mars (0′-9′)

Thoughtful but also like....Gotta Take Initiative

Convincing!!! Bc They Believe in like Their Conclusion (after the thoughtfulness stuff) 

Exude?? Confidence (Not as Bold as the Other Two Tho) 

In themselves Ya Know

Like if they’re Not Them...Then Who’s Gonna Stand up For Them

Prioritizes Stuff

Probably Has an Internal Bucket List of What They Wanna Do

Work Hard Play Hard

Outspoken about the things they DO care about

Like...kinda Stubborn about it but its bc They Care

Nocturnal?? or Insomnia??? Especially If they Don’t Learn To Take Care of Their Health/Be Practical About it (not too much/not enough)!!!

A Lil Naive/Oblivious 

When they’re getting sick, it Hits em Suddenly

One-Track Minded!!! Don’t Hesitate!!!!

Will Regret it the Most if they Hesitate during that time

BC they ARE...Competitive (towards themselves/their own inaction actually)

Has So Much Autonomy Over Themselves...Does Good in Team Work Tho (if they learn how to be Nice but balance their Personal Authority with that)

Can sometimes be a bit Careless w/ themselves like...they Enthusiastic

So throwing themselves Into Something is the Norm but also...Sometimes Bad

Aries - Leo/Sun (10′-19′)

Friendly!!! Kind!!! 

Type to be Chill with just...Stay in too but like, Quality Time y know?

Softness that stands them apart

Doesn’t relate to Aries archetype much

Inner Strength/Confidence/Power?? Within themselves???

Trustworthy and Noble...Doesn’t Needa Show Off

(But will anyways, subconsciously/when they’re not holding themselves back....to radiant not to try to resolve drama)

Likes Questioning things, Challenging Things

Not Directly but like...It’s There. Inquiriers

Private Inner Circle Whom They Cherish and Adore

Affable and Although they can be Popular...They Only Have a Small Group

Personally Offended on Others Behalf (Self-Expressive/Expressive In General)

(Again, why they can’t stay away from ‘resolving drama’) 

Affronted and Protective of People They Love

Charming and Loyal AF

But Needs a Ride or Die ya know

Those are the Real People They Fuck Wid

Aries - Sagittarius/Jupiter (20′-29′)

Wanna!!! Do Things!!! 

Impulsive, more moving/versatile than the other two

But also like.... Needs Time Alone?? To Process Emotions??

Privacy Matters!!!

Wanna Travel!!! Backpacking?? Alright I Guess!!!!!

Just Wanna Expand...Learn...Travel

Rougher Than The Other Two Cause they Don’t Mind Getting Dirty!!!

Fun is Fun!! Joy is Joy!!! Stop Restraining The Self!!!

Honest to Themselves About What They Want/Don’t Want

High Ideals.....Imaginative too

Does NOT like Being Told What to Do!!!

Unless you’re Someone They Can Learn From!! You Can’t Control What/How They Behave Personally!!!

Respectful but y know...Only bc of being Civil!

Group Participation is Good Esp Since They Like Learning/Meeting People Who Doesn’t Share the Same Background As Them

Likes the Challenge of like, Getting Past That Barrier y know

Expanding the Self

Can use Their Hands A lot/Vivid Gestures/Facial Expressions

Doesn’t like Getting Nagged/Complained To Tho

Unproductive Repetition (Habit/Behaviour) Gets Boring Over Time 

Doesn’t like Missing Out on Opportunities

Will....Probably Sky-Dive if they aren’t Afraid of Heights

[quaintrelle-on-the-loose]

We are now half way through 2018 and a lot of things happened these past months. A lot of things changed and things haven’t remained the same since i started “adulting.” There are days that I’d just tell myself, “So this is what adulting means ... So this is how it works.”

On Friendship.

This is one aspect in my life that rotated 360 degrees since i started having a job. I am such a clingy person. I wanted to keep in touch and talk to friends a lot. I was always the one who initiate get togethers and hang outs. But recently, it changed. That’s one thing about adulting. You tend to do less because you’ve got such a limited time and you wanted to spend it with things that and with people who matters MOST. I am not saying that my friends don’t matter to me anymore. What I am trying to say is, right now, I just have other things that I prioritize more than going out and spending my time out with friends. I still love going out with friends. I love catching up and having fun with them. But unlike before, when hang outs and meets ups get cancelled, i don’t give too much fuss about it anymore. Before, i get pissed off a lot when things like this happens, but now, i just let it go so easily. And one major thing too is that i aint the one who initiate such meet ups anymore. Sometimes, yes. I still do. But not as often as before. 

Another thing that i realized is that i don’t send long mushy messages and birthday greetings anymore. I am such a sucker for long and cheesy messages. I used to write and send friends such thing. But recently, I just don’t feel like doing it anymore. I’d think about it, decide to do it, and then when I’m already on it, I’d end up just sending a simple message. 

I know that I owe my friends a lot. I know that. And I couldn’t blame them if one day, they’d decide to turn their backs on me. I couldn’t blame them if one day, when i’d decide to return, they wouldn’t be there anymore for me. It’s fine. Trust me, it’s fine. Because right now, with all the things that are happening, and the things that I chose to prioritize, what I need are low-maintenance friendships --- friends who’d understand that I got other things to do and prioritize and who wouldn’t demand a lot of my time and get pissed off of me when I don’t get to go out with them and chill. Friends who’d understand that my world doesn’t revolve around them and who’d let me grow on my own. Friends who’d support me on the things that i want and have to do and understand if i’d rather choose to sleep and rest than go out and drink. To my friends who don’t understand this, I am so sorry. I am so sorry for failing you. You can go. And I’d understand. 

On Love Life. 

I like someone right now, yes. But that’s it. I’d leave it that way and won’t do anything about it. I don’t see us going to a higher level anyways. Why not fight for it and take the risk? Well, as i said before, I’ve already learned to choose my battles. And he isn’t one of them. I am already okay with what we are and what we have now. That’s already fine with me, trust me. Why not look for another? Because I can’t and don’t want to. One thing about me is that when I liked someone in a certain phase in my life, it’s kinda hard for me to move forward and try it with someone else. It would take some time for me to try and like (as in really like) someone else again. It’s either i don’t feel like giving it another shot, or i’m just too lazy to do anything including flirting or something, or maybe because, he isn’t here yet. He hasn’t arrived yet.

I also know that I am not yet ready for this. You see, i can’t even prioritize my friends (especially the long and trusted ones) right now. My social life’s a bit of shaky at the moment. I have so many things that I want and have to do but the time is so limited. It’s actually just recently when I realized that I am not yet prepared for this. I am not yet ready to let someone in my life and give him the time and attention that he deserves. Love life is not yet a priority for me as of this moment. I gotta deal with other things first before i let myself fall in love and be with someone. I have to prepare myself first. And I have to give value to the things that and the people who I have now before giving value to something that I do not have yet. Also, I know that i better prepare myself for this because once i have it, i don’t have the plan of letting it go anymore. Yes, i want it that serious.

On Finance.

I promised myself before that once I started earning my own money, I’d make sure to also start saving up for real. I actually did and accomplish this goal for five months. I had my savings. Yes, had. Past tense. ‘Cause now, my savings fund’s balance is Php 0.00. I thought saving’s easy. I was so proud of myself months ago being able to save up a portion of my monthly pay. But in just a blink of an eye, it all got spent. LOL! IT’S FREAKIN HARD TO SAVE! Haha.

I decided to restart this August. But for the nth time, I failed. Until I decided to just let it be. Because it’s really impossible for me to save right now. I don’t have a lot of whims (uhm, just coffee shops and books and okay i have a few or so i get it). But no, the reason why I let the idea of saving go (for now) is because it’s inevitable to spend and spend and let go of money for a house. We are currently renovating our house and I have to help out with the finances. And it’s fine with me. Really. Being able to help out with the family’s expenses brings me joy. It gives me some sense of fulfillment and accomplishment in a way. And not just out of responsibility but I also want to give back to my parents. That’s why i decided to give up saving for now. 

I also decided to not be too hard on myself. As what Papa also said, I am just starting. It’s fine to not be able to save yet this early. Not until he told me that last night that I realized that I am pressuring myself too much. I even felt guilty for spending for some things that I enjoyed and am so happy about.

At this point, what I’m telling myself is that it’s fine. It’s fine to spend for something that’s necessary. It’s okay to spend for coffee because that’s my way of relaxation. It’s okay to spend for the leisure events and activities. It’s okay to not have savings because I am spending for the house. That investing on the house, on myself, family, the life moments, memories, experiences and fun are way more important than the money.

But next year, I promise to really start saving FOR THE DREAM/S! I’d just let this pass for now since im a newbie. But next year, I have to! No more buts.

On Work and Career.

Who would have thought that i’d end up as a data analyst once I graduate from college? Nobody. No one, including me. I’ve never planned this. And even when I already had the job, I could remember saying that i’d give it a shot for just a year. Yes, being a data analyst wasn’t in the equation until i decided to grab the opportunity. It was a major “detour.” And even if it wasn’t really the thing that I wanted to do and have at first, i know that God allowed it to happen for a reason. And i ain’t regretting grabbing the opportunity that opened up to me when this year started. It was so life-changing! 

I am so grateful for having this as my first job. I’ve been doing it for six months now (going seven) and to my own surprise, i am still enjoying it. The work environment helped a lot. It feels good not just waking up every day going to the office just to work. Every day, I also look forward to seeing my office mates which i had the chance to know and share stories and laughters with. It feels good having to grow as a person socially and professionally. 

One reason I see why until now I don’t get burnt out at work is because I always see to it that I still have work and life balance at the end of the day. That’s one of the first lessons that I’ve learned from my former manager and my trainer --- to know my limits and to not overwork. I got that advice during my first performance assessment and continuously applies it. Knowing your limits, managing and appropriating time, and prioritizing having a life outside work is a must. As what Hillary Clinton said, “Don’t confuse having a career with having a life.” I also read this statement that says, “A job is a job. It’s a way to pay for a living, but that’s it. Don’t let it define your happiness. You work to live, not live to work. Work on what makes you happy.” 

Is data analysis then the career that I still wanna pursue years from now? To be honest? I doubt it. I wanted to have a career that could impact a lot of people. I still do. I am still looking forward to it. I know my passion and I know that this isn’t it. I like doing what I am doing but I am not really that passionate about it. There’s a big difference there. I still need time to prepare myself and the resources that I need to pursue what I really want but for now, I’d be staying as a data analyst since I don’t have any reason yet so far to leave. But in the near future, I pray that I’d be able to do what I really want to do and accomplish one of my life’s purposes. 

Through out this entry so far, I kept on saying that time is so limited that I don’t get to prioritize this and that. That I don’t get to spend time with friends anymore unlike before, that I don’t have time for love life just yet and so on and so forth. I don’t give all my life and time to work either! So people’d ask what makes me so busy? Why does it seem like i am always rushing to log out at work? Where am i “appropriating” my time? My life?

I got three things: my family, myself, and Him:

On Family.

Majority of my time now, most especially when I go home to the province, is just for my family. That’s also the reason why I don’t initiate meet ups and hang outs with friends anymore too every time I go home. I want to spend more time with my family most especially with my parents. That’s one realization that I’ve got to see while i am adulting. While I feel like im growing as person: That as I grow, my parents aren’t getting any younger. That’s why I want to just be with them every time I have the chance to go home. I don’t want to regret someday that I haven’t showed them how much I care for them and how much I love them.

In terms of the the entire family tho, meaning not just my nuclear family, 2018 has been so challenging so far. The family has its highs and lows these past months. Some family members were faced with health problems (including Papa. We just found out last week that he has a lump on his right lung and we still don’t know what it is exactly since he is still under observation) and finances.

It is a challenging year for the entire family now. We are all being tested in a way or another but I am still optimistic about it all. These all are nothing but God’s test and we’d get through it. I know that He has a purpose for all of these. He wanted to test and teach us. 

The conflicts are there, the misunderstandings and what nots are there. But I know that we’d make it through all these. I have so much trust and respect to this family that brought me up. And I’ve been so open and vocal on how grateful I am of having to grow in a family that has this strong bond and foundation. 

On Myself.

When this year started, I promised to give this year to myself --- to allow myself to do what she wants, to be who she really is, and to grow. This year is for self-knowledge and discovery. I just entered a new chapter in life and before this, I lost myself. Little did I know that losing myself would be one of the major turning points in my life. Though I realized this last year, it is just this year that I gave myself the opportunity to really grow and live. As in to truly live. I wanted to “fix” and invest on myself this year because I realized that in a cruel world like ours, self-love is important. That knowing and accepting yourself could turn your life upside down. And I wanted to invest on myself because I believed that I couldn’t give what I do not have. Doing this all has changed me. It brought optimism in my life that has been once dark. And it gave me the courage to be fearless and step out off my comfort zone. To fight and stand for what I want and just be who I am. 

This is also the reason that I don’t feel guilty about ditching some galas from time to time. I deserve to sleep, rest. destress, and recharge on weekends. I deserve and need my Gutsy Days and Life Pauses. I deserve love and happiness. I deserve to have a life. And to live. 

On FAITH.

But above anything else, this is the most important thing that has been happening in my life this year. One of my goals this year is to strengthen my relationship with the Lord. And while investing on myself (i.e. figuring out what I really want and stuff like that), knowing my worth and the importance of self-love in my life is, it was really Him who saved me and who changed my life perspective. 

Last Thursday night, I attended this talk at church after work about Depression. And that’s when it sunk it to me. Everything. I was really depressed last year after I graduated. I was feeling so much lowness, sadness and disappointment. I didnt know what to do next in my life. I felt numb. I felt unmotivated. Hopeless, even. I lost myself! And while Pastor Tito Almadin was talking about how people can help others with depression, I realized that I didn’t really receive those kinds of help from others. Nobody around me knew that I got depressed! While I was busy sulking and self-pitying, everyone thought that I was doing just fine. They didn’t know how much sadness I was already feeling. They didn’t have any idea that i had too low self-esteem already. While the talk was on going that night, once again, I saw how His grace saved me. Those things that Pastor Tito was talking about? I didn’t get any of it. How can I get help from others if they didn’t even know that I needed help? As what I said, I don’t know how it happened but I just found myself turning to Him again. After years of neglecting Him calling me, at my lowest point, I came back to Him. And it was exactly one year ago when that happened. Days after going back to Him, I had then the opportunity and courage to tell my sister, one of my trusted friends, and my former college dormmate who’s older than me what I was going through. And it was just now that I’m writing this that I realized that all of them are Christians (He really gives us what we need!). Since then, my life has changed. 

Tho I already accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, I admit that there are still days that I get tempted by this world’s desires and standards. There is still disobedience in me. It is not easy. I know that it’s not gonna be easy. But as what the Bible says, we are a living sacrifice and we’d really have the tendency to drift away from the altar. We are not expected to be perfect because we really are not. What’s important here though is that we always seek to strengthen our relationship with the Lord --- resurrendering our lives every day when we need to. This one is what gets me busiest these months --- strengthening my relationship with Him. Because before everything or anyone else, it should be Him first.

This is the reason why nowadays, i tend to do less. My Monthly Highlights and blog entries already got piled up, i don’t go out as often as before, don’t chat with people personally and online as much as before, etc. Little by little, I am learning how to value and appropriate my life and time wisely. We all have limited time and we have to learn to spend it on what really matters. And right now, here’s mine. You’d see what matters to me just by seeing where and for whom I spend my time. We gotta focus on what matters most. 

[ddtriohub]

☠: Something you dislike about your fandom && ☄: A doubt you have about your writing

Taken from meme: [x] ||Accepting|| ((Guess who was almost done with this answer to have accidentally clicked on the wrong thing and I had to write it all over again? Just shoot me))

☠: Something you dislike about your fandom

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL WHAT FANDOM? IS IT ALIVE? DOES IT HAVE A PULSE? DOES IT EVEN EXIST? lol but seriously. The fandom is small. I don’t even know if there is even one still around right now. That’s how small it is. If I dislike something it would be that. If not that, then perhaps the fact that people can get uppity about Shugarl’s hair color because of cover art. LOOK, then tell me which you like purple, or green-blue? Two different cover appearances (one being an inside cover flap) show different colors. Both only showed once. Which is the true canon? The first appearance or the next one? Hm? How about, I will happily with the good majority of the fandom accept and believe the third red-brown hair color because his screen tone is the same as another character who has red hair. Yep. That’s my story and i’m sticking with it. 

((BOOOYYYY GET READY FOR A RIDE. This got long so I need to use a readmore. Read on if you wanna. I added random fun trivia.))

☄: A doubt you have about your writing

LOLOLOLOL did you mean everything about it? Okay but seriously, if I were asked if I like my writing style, my answer would be no. I don't like it. There's just a lot to it that I just don't like. For one thing, i'm very repetitive, especially with my words/wording choices. It makes things more monotonous. It's quite frankly boring. It also doesn't flow well. It makes things feel a lot more... I dunno, constrained? Like you can't branch out more. Expand the horizons so to speak. I really don't like how inflexible my writing style seems to be.

I really need to learn more vocabulary and the like. That would certainly help my case out some. Now for the thing I really dislike about my writing style: details and descriptions. What are those? Do they exist? I really struggle with details and writing out descriptions. I'm so bad at them. I often forget about em. It makes it harder for the reader to tell what's goin on. You can't really immerse yourself in the world when you can't really envision things. It makes my writing harder to really get engrossed with. It can make the reader lost. Then on top of it, a lot of my style is pretty repetitive? That gets boring really quick.

Honestly this is one reason why I think a lot of people just eventually get tired of my writing. Maybe they just got tired of Haru, there is also that. //shrugs (I shrug but really i'm crying inside it's okay) Anyways that's besides the point. I just don't like my style. It's just-- I don't like it. I've been struggling with it for years and it's gotten much better but it's still just-- really bad? I always tell myself to work on vocabulary and I still fail at it. LOLOLOLOLOL as for descriptions and stuf... I try to remember it. I do. I just fail. OTL I just am so bad at it. I just don't know how to write out descriptions as I often don't think much about their surroundings.

With my muses, I tend to focus more on their mental state and their emotions. I don't really think about how they're moving or what they may be looking at or smelling. Which is why this element is often missing in my writing style. There is a lack of sensory elements-- and I hate that about my style. It makes it more bland.

Now, does that mean I hate my writing? No. I actually quite like my writing. I throw in a bit of my own humor into my writing. I sometimes slip a bit of my personanlity with my sassy lil remarks. Like when I say things like 'Excuse as Vasco is confused and will need you to spell things out for him.' 'Oh joy, he speaks!,' etc. I personally enjoy my humor so I often read a lot of my things and laugh at my own humor. Yeah, i'm one of those people. I laugh at my own jokes. lol sue me.

Now, I throw in a bit of what I do in my writing to make things a bit personal but with rp'ing, I also really like to put the personality of my character into my writing. I like to throw in some nuances characteristic of my muses. (if anyone starts staring at my Haru blog, in my defense Haru is a standalone and she's my chill blog and I like being more versatile as it's an indie so it's better to be flexible. In a group I can afford to be more uniform and stagnant with my ways. That's my story and i'm sticking with it)

ANYWAYSSSSS!!! The way I throw in my humor into threads with my muses depend on the muse. Mizumachi has more absurd humor, Ponsol and Shugarl are more ... well... rude lol. Vasco is just humor based off his naivette and the like. Just lil stuff here and there. I don't wanna go into details on that.

Now, how do I put the personality of my character in my writing? Well for one thing, if anyone has noticed, the way I write out monologues and tell 'the story' is different for each muse. I try to avoid big and complex words for Mizumachi and Vasco because they probably won't even know what it means. So in their monologues and the like I try to stick with more simpler words. However with the Geripeta's I try to use more complex vocabulary if I can (with my limited word pool lol). Dongmin I feel like he's at least average so I kind do whatever with him. I try to be careful with the words that I use on all my muses.

This is also why you see me using a lot of dynamic words with Mizumachi because he's very dynammic and he's always just screaming lol. Ponsol is super sassy and rude so a lot of his monologues and thoughts are rude. Vasco like never swears so I NEVER swear in his threads. EVER. The Geripeta's don't give a flying shit, so they cuss if they want to. Shugarl tries not to though. Ponsol only does so inwardly in his thoughts because he's a hella bitter person. XD

Now let's talk about FORMATTING. Yes, I put thought into those as well:

Vasco is a boy who abides by the rules. He will not break the rules (aside from the tattoos but that was for a very good reason). As such, for his dialogue, the first line is always indented 7 spaces while the subsequent ones are 8-9 (sometimes an extra space is needed to line things up properly). ALWAYS. I will not break that rule. No matter what. It doesn't matter how short or long the thread is, i'll keep the space rule. He's just that stubborn and a good boy who listens to rules.

-

Shugarl is not much of a talker. He can talk a good amount at times if he feels inclined but he's pretty much a curt talker? Like his sentences aren't too long. So to ensure that I don't go too long-winded, I use the escalator kinda format to help keep me in line. It also shows just how short his sentences are.

-

Ponsol likes control. He likes to be in charge of things and is well you know, a jerk. the reason why his stuff is justified is to really show how he likes control and for things to be neat and orderly. If it's justified, things look neat on both ends. It's pretty ahrd to make things even you know? With this, it shows that he likes order as much as he likes to have full control of what he is saying. Everything he says for the most part (unless his temper got in the way) is caculated. Carefully chosen for a good effect. As this is the case, what better shows careful planning than justified dialogue text?

-

Mizumachi is super dynamic ya know? He's very bouncy and he speaks very animatedly too. What better way to show that than to use italics, lower, and upper styles? Now the way I style his dialogue text:

      text text text            text text tex       text text text

is because it looks like a wave. He loves swimming and the ocean. He may have quit the swim club in favor of football but he still incorporates swimming (in some weird way) into his football. It's a big part of him. He loves the water. As such, it only makes sense to me, to make his dialogue flow like a wave. It's also a great throwback to his days in Kyoshin Poseidon.

-

Dongmin is a guy who is responsible and full of honor, but he's also very easy going. He likes to go with the flow and he pretty much can be made to do anything-- if you are the right person. Like his female childhood friend can make him do just about anything for her. Beat up this person for you? Okay, I won't ask. I'll do it. What? Don't beat him up? Okay, whatever you say. Huh? Stay away from this guy because he's yours? Okay. I'll be careful. Of course he's still got his own mind and what not. She's just special. He's just very easy going for the most part, but he's brave and bold. He's strong and he knows it. He's very confident in himself, therefore his dialogue text is BOLD. As he's just easy going and goes with the flow, that's also one reason why I don't have his separated from the rest of the text. I add it with the rest. Still, he's got a part of him that is responsible and he does adhere to most rules so that's why I start with a 7 space lead off.

--

Is this rather extra of me? Perhaps. I find it a lot of fun though? It gives more character and personality to the characters. It helps me to connect to them and so it's easy for me to write them. It's also a lot harder for me to mess up and accidentally write as another character. By having special formats, i'm very heavily aware of who i'm replying as. So I won't accidentally answer a Shugarl thread as I would a Mizumachi one and vice-versa. I may still accidentally reply on the wrong blog but hey, what can you do.

I honestly love my characters very much and I really prioritize my characterization. These kinds of things just make it more personal and fun in my opinion. I just do it even though it sometimes makes me wanna cry. (LOOKING AT YOU, MIZU!!!!) Though most of all it really is just so I don't mess up and reply as a wrong character type. They're all different in their own ways so I can't mess up their personalities.

I'm just very serious about my characters because I love them so much. I would not have chosen them if I didn't love them or have a lot of confidence in being able to write them. With all the effort and time I put into them, it makes me feel a bit more involved and serious about what I do. I really love all my muses and thus i'm willing to go this far for them. It's a lot of fun for me. It helps me connect to them on an emotional level.

Everything just helps aid to the whole thing of making it seem like my characters are more alive. Sucks because I focus so much on emotion I forget about scenery and the like-- whoops. So that's really how I do things. It's fun and it's just my personality type to take things seriously. It helps me not mess things up. It helps me connect to my muses and love them more. It helps me understand them and learn more about them.

I take characterization really seriously and as you can see I take my muses very seriously. This is why I can get really upset very easily if anyone undermines this. I also take huge offense to people rushing me. Do NOT rush me. If I think you are trying to rush me into a relationship, i'll be pissed. I love character development and I personally hate being rushed. It's just my personality and how i've been raised. Always being rushed, therefore, I hate it.

NO, I haven't really seen this in the group. I'm mainly talking in terms of Haru's blog. I've seen it a lot on there and no. I can't. Now it's fine if you like taking things more fast paced. Totally okay! You do you! I just don't like it. Unfortunately i'm also just really slow paced. I'm very very slow. lol. So if you plan on shipping with me it'll be a slow process for sure. I love development. I personally don't agree with shipping so quickly. To me, there isn't enough character development and therefore it's not fun for me.

I nEEEEEEDDd development to be happy. I love to see characters grow. I love to see a relationship form. I love to ensure in thread form that chemistry is there. It's just so much fun! Working with a partner to come up with a story. It's a lot of fun and rushing it takes the fun out of it. Especially if it's for smut. Haru's blog has seen so much like dude we just met and you're already trying to get into her skirt? Let me just kill this thread real quick.

I'm rambling too much. Basically, I take things super seriously because it's a lot of fun for me and I am just a serious person in general? I want to do the best that I can do. I want to be the best that I can be. I want for others to learn more about characters and possibly love my muses--- AND THEREBY CHECK OUT THE SERIES THAT THEY ARE FROM SO THAT YOU CAN CRY ALONG WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously please more people need to get into Manhwa and the like. PLEASE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. RRRAAAAAAAAAAWWWRR!!!!! (Why yes all in all it's a selfish reason but shhh)

I just hope people have fun with it all. People may not notice all the work I put into things, but that's okay. I have fun with it. If I can't have fun, how can I be sure my partner will have fun? RP'ing is a partnership and if both people aren't happy the thread will not be healthy.

So if you want to thread with someone serious lol i'm your girl! I am slow though because I love development.

[tumblunni]

Let’s ramble a bit more about Changeling Sim ideas! This time a bit about the awkward lil royal family and their interlocking relationships~!

Kiddo

It our deuteroganist! Hello! The protagonist’s cute little daughter is actually the next heir to the faerie throne, sent to be raised by her as a challenge to prove that the human world has good in it and is worth saving. And also secretly because Xana Mega is pretty awkward and cute under her scary facade, and was worried she was too distant to make a good mother to her child. In the golden ending you can help patch up their relationship, even though Jackie is still the one Kiddo knows as her true mother, and her biological parent becomes more like the family’s aunt. Kiddo is technically half human, but it’s not because Xana Mega married a human or anything. Fairies don’t follow biological genetics, theyre grown from giant flowers after all! Xana created Kiddo entirely by herself, and she acquired her human side solely from being given to Jackie to raise. Baby fae are more metaphysically squishy than their older counterparts, the classic changeling ploy is simply to replace a human child with a fae baby and it’ll naturally shift into the shape of the human. For a time they’ll be just that- a fairy wearing a disguise. But if they don’t know theyre not human, they’ll grow into what they’re taught and completely transform into a real mortal around puberty. Changelings do tend to retain a heightened sense to the supernatural and occasionally a few odd abilities, but generally they’ll never return to what they once were. Traditionally nobody had a choice in this whole matter, it was a very sketchy and horrid practise of ancient fae who didnt even respect humans as real sentient people. But in this case Kiddo wasn’t replacing an existing human, and she’s being raised knowing of her origins. Eventually she’ll face the question of whether she wants to stay or return to being a fairy, but it’ll be 100% her own choice. Similarly, it’s her own choice whether she wants to take the throne or if she finds a different career choice during her adventures in this other world. Many endings for you, the player!

Xana Mega

The current queen of Mag Mell, an ominous towering figure who rules with strict efficiency and commands the current anti-human war. Everyone’s pretty damn scared of her, and she lives a very lonely life disconnected from her own people. Despite her frightening persona and dedication to all things rational, she’s called for this mysterious truce for the next 18 years, and is permitting certain humans to enter our realm?? Truly the queen works in mysterious ways... but is she going soft...? Deep down she’s really a kind person who feels she has to put up this front deliberately in order to retain order. Its half that and half not really knowing how to function well socially, since she’s been groomed to be a ruler from a young age and had to live with a distant father. Because she was scared she’d repeat his mistakes, she gave her child to somebody else... but ultimately has she just become the same absent parent? It doesnt matter, because at least the kid will have a good mother, even if it isn’t her. But the decision does haunt her, and she’s both excited and terrified of the day she’ll see the child again on her 18th birthday and she won’t recognise her. But hopefully (if the player does well) she’ll be able to see that Kiddo has grown up into a wonderful young woman and had a fullfilling life that makes it all worthwhile ^_^ Ultimately if you’d ever get to know the real Xana beneath the royal role, she’s a slightly adorable awkward dork with a weary sadness yet a childish joy for experiencing new things. When you’d given up hope on this stuff, its hard to restrain yourself! Its possible to get a super secret route where Jackie romances Xana and Kiddo acquires DOUBLEMUMS~! And they’re super cute going out together on Real Authentic Human World Dates while Xana flails happily like this small hotdog stand is disneyland. Who’da thought that after the war ended, the old queen would become a human world weeaboo as soon as she set foot in our dimension? ^_^

Alberich

Xana’s father and previous ruler. Known as the Good King, he was responsible for starting the grand reforms of society that Xana continues nowadays. If peace is ever achieved between humans and fae, he was the one who sewed the first seed even if he didn’t live to see it sprout. Despite his success as a ruler, he was pretty flawed as a father, and passed that on to his daughter. He couldn’t completely escape the trappings of ancient fairy tradition, and his daughter was mostly raised by maids and tutors while he remained just this distant silent figure she could never reach no matter how hard she tried. She never even knew very much about him since he died when she was young. The young queen was just left with a million different opinions everybody else had on him, coalescing into an abstract cluster of an unknowable, empty pillar of ideal regal emotionlessness. .....Of course, the real Alberich was just as far from this as she is! To those who personally knew him, he was a complete softhearted goofball whose overidealistic ramblings would surely doom the whole country. And isn’t that just why he’s so loveable? Ultimately, his failure as a father was just that... a failure. Xana tried to justify it as if he’d made the right decision to be distant, and she should become the same sort of person, and take it further to become distant to even her own citizens. But Alberich never pretended his decision was the right one, he was a good man who despite his best efforts didn’t know how to raise a child. He had no-one to learn from, and his fear of messing up is what caused him to flee from the concept of parenthood entirely. He thought that hiring the best educators and minders would help compensate for the ways he was lacking as a dad, never knowing that all his daughter wanted was the one thing he could give- love. :( In the end he perished sadly to a simple disease that could have been cured if the country’s infrastructure wasn’t so ravaged by the war with the humans. His decision to prioritize the remaining money towards protecting the citizens was what caused him to waste away from a simple fever. While a certain someone raced against the clock to fetch the medicine on foot, arriving just late enough to miss the chance to hold his hand as he passed away...

Rafferty

A simple court jester who was promoted to the king’s butler and eventually promoted/demoted (?) to the finance minister after the new queen took the throne. Why is he even in the royal family section...? He’s always been sort of a stuffy grumpy neat freak, but he used to be a symbol of fun amoungst the court once. Now he’s just become bitter and hateful, leading the anti-human sentiment and questioning the country’s leadership at every turn. He’s globally hated by all of his coworkers and suspected of being corrupt- he was the major scapegoat for the culprit in the king’s death, and never managed to shake the stigma. He’s only really here and has any sort of power because the king’s will secured his position for the foreseeable future. He’s also hated because (GASP!) he’s a disgusting former human turned fairy! In his former life he was a homeless peasant in the 1800s that Alberich brought home one day and hired as a servant. Everyone humoured the king with his new pet, but it started to get ridiculous when he gave the thing legal rights and a career! It’s tradition to just consider a fairy a fairy when they become one, and forget about whoever they were in their past life, but gossipping housewives like to ignore this rule and hold it against him anyway. Its also kinda why Rafferty has such a personal hate of humans, he used to be one and he’s seen nothing but the worst side of them... His role in the current story is really just to be a small obstacle in plotlines, and a possible befriendable character. I’m an optimistic person so I like stories of cliche ‘evil vizier’ type guys having more complex motives and being able to be redeemed in the end. In the end you can discover that the real secret behind him and the king was that they were actually dating, and Rafferty really was loyal to the kingdom all along. And he endured all this hate for so long because he doesn’t want to tarnish Alberich’s memory by letting people know about their affair. Xana is actually his biological daughter from when he was human, making him Kiddo’s grandpa. Neither of them knew this fact though, and in fact Xana was one of the people who hated him the most. She just knew him as her funny friend who kept her company when she was lonely as a child, one of her father’s servants who seemed to care about her more than the rest. So she took it as a personal betrayal when he was suspected of killing the king, and kept believing it well into her adult years. Its gonna be a messy reunion for them when the misunderstanding is all sorted out, but a happy one too, hopefully...

+++

A slightly unrelated side note but I ideally wanna make a full cast of court employees and lesser nobility! At the moment all I have is Rafferty, unnamed scribe dad and kiiiinda a cupid type figure I dont know much about yet? I dunno, I just got that concept in my brain while I was thinking about Raffles and Ritchi’s past back when he was king. I imagined maybe Rafferty did have at least one friend amoung the royal court who knew about his relationship with the king and supported them. And it sorta came together in my brain as some sort of champion of love and justice, and maybe designed around a traditional valentine’s day fairy cliche. But like a world weary chain smoker one? BUT still one that really is a kind loving figure, not a dark subversion or anything. I just feel like they’re someone worn down by seeing injustice in the world, and questioning other people’s definitions of love that’re being forced upon them. Someone who was doubting this country... I get the feeling they’ve left the plot by the time we get to the present, but I don’t know if they died or maybe they just left the country after the king died and they’d lost their last hope the place could change. But I do generally think maybe everyone who was in the fairy court back when Rafferty was jester is now dead and/or gone, he was the youngest member then and he’s the oldest one now. And he was hated by all his former friends, they died, and now he’s left being hated by all new people... But yeah I just have this good image of some broken but kind person finding a tiny bit of happiness realizing grumpy old rafferty found love, and reassuring him that they dont hold the same stupid homophobic ‘no dating humans’ views that everyone else is pushing. A brief bit of calm before the storm, making it even sadder that cupid just wasnt strong enough to keep trying after that hope died, and ran out even on rafferty, their last friend... I guess... a Nanu cupid?