#I kinda regret not doing more days
Text
Day 30- Don't give up!
(prompt by @evil-xisapril )
[ID: a digital drawing of Evil Xisuma holding a derpcoin in their hand. Next to them, there's some white text that says "Don't give up!" with shadow. Evil X has long white hair with part of it tied up in a bun and red horns. They're also wearing red and grey armor and a gas mask. The background is a dark purple color with some blue and pink. /end ID]
#evil xisuma#evil xisapril#evil xisuma fanart#Tysm for making this prompt list#It was really fun!#evil x#hermitcraft#derpcoin#:D#I kinda regret not doing more days#But I still really enjoyed it!#wish i had more time lol.
113 notes
·
View notes
Note
You don't have to reply to this, but I am very happy to stumble across a non-problematic Youjo Senki fanpage. 💖
Thank you very much!! I'll continue to do my best!
#ask#anonymous#not a daily post#“ask sent 3 months ago” oops#sorry again ;;#im cleaning up inbox ok. or trying to#this is the last one tho i just. needed to express how much everyone being very kind means to me#confession: sometimes i kinda resent this blog for no good reason. its kinda tragic#suffice to say i regret taking on this project sometimes and i get in these downer ass moods#but like. i remember there are people who do actually like the silly time im having here#and it makes me feel better. so i need to express that. thank you. to the people who sent messages to me but also just like everyone lol#if these tags read as kinda corny im sorry but i just am in one of those sappy moods yknow and i need to share it#sorry i love u all. as if its my fault </3 /j#anyway see u all tmrw for dailydegu once more. itll be the last day of huevember!!#it uh. might be late bc im tired
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
long tag ramble below u have been warned
#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again#but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags#(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now#but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t#anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable#and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it#her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night#but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt#or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort#and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person#and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal#as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward#i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer#but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been#either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing#i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever#also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway#sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation#i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me#but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down#so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again#but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to#anyway. i think that’s all i have to say!#i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open#love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶#bella talks
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
nyx!!! baby hi, how are you today? do you have plans for today? i brought you fresh cut flowers from my garden btw 𓍢ִ໋🌷
omg venecia my love <3 <3 I am putting these beautiful flowers in a vase on my desk omg they smell so nice <3 <3
FUNNY YOU SEND THIS ASK AT THIS MOMENT BTW because i'm literally about to post the next chapter of salvation after getting stuck on it for ages. but since you're here...
the reason I was stuck so long is bc I had gotten an idea for confessional sex w reader and Geto where they needed someone to occupy the other half of the confessional... so Choso was going to cuck in there. This popped into my head when I was writing the last part and I tried so hard to make it work but it was just clunky and ooc so I had to scrap it.
anyway pour one out for the magnum opus of cucking scenes... I might write it later anyway as porn without plot tho lol.
#like if I didn't think that the previous couple of chapters were some of my best work I would care a lot less#and tbh i am kinda trying to get this done so I can work on other stuff without it hanging over my head...#i just also want it to be good and meaningful. it's supposed to be a catharsis#anyway. the rest of my day is dedicated to thinking about divorced detective toji. i'm working on coming up with the case details first#my mistake w the wrio one is i didn't have a case fleshed out#but i kinda want to do true-detective-esque series of divorced detective aus. all of them multi chapter but not necessarily the same series#i just. i love the trope and i love detective stuff and i love a man with regrets and no man has more regrets than a divorced detective#nyx answers#moots <3
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
..
#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again#and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet#basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um#someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that#no-pressure museum not-a-date#and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person#because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it#tho they are two v different situs#an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes#same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time#but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted#and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no#weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff#and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um#is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people#i guess#but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha#and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again#i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff#im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you#(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok it's taken me like two whole months but i think i kinda sometimes occasionally find leckie hot now
#not in a normal way though#more like a 'ur so annoying i do still want to fight u but if u push me up against a wall when we're drunk i'd be into it' kinda way#but then i remember his sex scenes and it all flies out the window#but sometimes every now and then#i'd let him hit it#just to see what happens#i wouldn't wanna stay friends with him afterward#and we'd both regret it the next day#and would spend the next five years of our lives avoiding each other#but we'd probably reunite in our early 50s and laugh about the whole thing#and maybe then#and only then#would we strike up a real friendship
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
“a sicks’ dream come true; coming soon to fanfic channels near you”
#presenting my cursed sleep-deprived brainworm of the day: nagisa gets sold to ft4 for uni fees#or well. more like they’re looking for a live-in assistant dude. thing. or sth. idk#and papa shiranami just sells his son off bc ‘hey it’s literal free real estate!!! plus he’s gonna get paid for the entire deal so why not?’#nagisa initially pitches a fit at his dad a la gamushara yelling scene bc ‘dad!!!!!! how could you just sell me off to some strangers?!!!!’#‘shhhh son; think of the free housing. in ✨t o k y o✨. stuff’s expensive there yk’ ‘but still!!!!!’#so nagi sulkily packs his bags and heads out; trying to motivate himself with thoughts of ‘hey at least i’ll get to see hiyori more often’#then he arrives at the train station and sees our favourite 5-man non-idol gang… and promptly passes out#when he comes to… poor guy finds himself right smack in the middle of a hugeass canopy bed#with dai sitting smugly by the side like ‘the great me carried you back mans. you’re welcome ;)’ with a tip of his cool fedora#and that’s when nagi realises that 1) it’s not a dream and that he actually has to live with his oshis now. and 2) damnnnn this bed is soft#cohabitation shenanigans happen. as they would seeing as the entire gang + rio’s niece live together in this oddly huge megu-owned penthouse#plus free bi-weekly vacations to megu’s family villa bc they can never spend a waking moment without each other#and nagi finds it strange that the group is oddly accomodating of his uni schedule when it concerns his job tasks and such…#or that they collab with lxl (hi hiyori!!!) way more than they should typically be…#but he brushes it off when rio asks him to cook with him or sth idk i mean how often do you get to cook with your oshi????#and idk eventually the jig is up and it’s revealed that hiyori was the one who was accidentally behind the whole thing#like a ‘sorry nagisa i told uchida that you’d be moving here too but lxl were there the entire time and they went and got ft4 to buy you’#or something kinda thing. idk. bc everything has to be lxl’s fault; even when they’re just lurking in the bg#i’m def gonna regret this later lmao. it’s almost 2.30 in the am; i have not written in months; and i’ve never read a sold to 1.d. fic ev er#this is the kind of cosmic horror that only sleep-deprived brains can cook up ig…….. oh wells#it is suiyoubi my dudes#the dude from gamushara
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay but like. I seriously forgot how much it means to me. Like I'm suffering, bc writing is the most suffering hobby, but like in the best way. I feel alive again in a lot of ways.
#stuff sarah says#im technically a day ahead of schedule so like#knock on wood and all that#i am once again regretting not doing an outline but i might do more notes stuff when i get home from work tonight and also work#on an outline kinda
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
July 23
#1. the weather this month was horrible. how is it raining this much in the middle of summer? so annoying#2. July was a month full of having mehmaan or going to visit other peoples houses. I’m a pretty social person and I usually love spending#spending time with family but this was a bit too much#I made my version of knafeh after quite some time (without a recipe really) and it turned out good 😃#3. flowers my mum regretted buying cause after paying she saw other ones she liked more and which were cheaper lol#4. these beads I used last year to make necklace. wore it only a few times so decided to change it and make it into a phone chain. also#got this cute sticker from work. cute right. my inner child is really happy with the amount of cute stickers I can just use#5. every year there’s this group of Muslim youth from another city. and they organise a carnival type a thing for the kids in their city#2 years ago I volunteered there and decided to do it again this year. it’s not in my own city but our masjid is in that city. took my mum#+ little brother with so he could play. my aunt also came with her kids and it was a really nice day. the whole thing was organised and run#by Muslims and was free for all. i had a good time helping out and was asked if I wanna join the committee (?). I declined#bc it’s a little too far for me to be present throughout the year. I will continue to help on the day of in sha Allah. anyway they did do#catering for the volunteers and it was from one of my favourite restaurants in that city. I kinda know the owner so when I saw him when I#joked if my favourite cheesecake would also be provided today. he said unfortunately not but he’ll bring some just for me so he did 🥺#6. made a little heart w my baby bros hair#monthly recap
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh my god. I've been reading (and really enjoying) the book Love Medicine by Louise Erdrich for a while now, and I'm finally almost done with it, so I went to do a little reading about Erdrich, and.
She wrote 3 sequels???
I've read this entire book and I had NO idea that there were sequels. My goodness.
#part of me is really excited by this#because I've grown SO attached to these families and the thought of getting to stay with them longer is so nice#but on the other hand. this book is incredible#in such a way that I'm really scared to look at the sequels#because I don't think they're as acclaimed#and what if they're not as good?#I'd love more but only if it's more at this same level. y'know?#it wouldn't feel write reading about the Kashpaws and the Lamartines and co in a context that was less beautiful#also side note but.#I own this book because I was supposed to read it for a class back in college#but that was during the time period where I just fully stopped going to most of my classes#because I was. uh. so stressed I kind of completely ceased to function#and genuinely one of my biggest regrets looking back in my life is that I didn't attend/participate in that class properly#the class I would've read love medicine for#not even that I didn't do the reading. I just didn't go.#stopped going to any of my classes that were on days I didn't have work#which I never ever did before that final term where I kinda just stopped#and I regret it so much because that professor was fucking brilliant#I wanna know what he'd have to say about this book SO bad#I wanna do a good class discussion about this book so bad#of all the things in my life for the mental eelness to deprive me of. why this?#anyway. love medicine is really really good#invasion of the frogs
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
I once heard that dreaming about someone constantly means that they’re thinking about you. Maybe these people miss you too?
kneejerk reaction is that I hope they’re not thinking of me tbh
#is that the truth? I’m not too sure. I just think it’s be easier to be okay with the concept of everyone forgetting me forever than to sit#with the mortifying possibility of being known and remembered#I don’t remember my hs self fondly so I don’t see why anyone else would yknow#I was already kinda convinced everybody hated me before I vanished so I guess. if ppl are thinking about me it’s negative#it’s scarier if it isn’t lmaoo#I don’t know what’s wrong with me#but yeah I don’t think it works like that nonnie or at the very least I hope it doesn’t <3#I think I’m just a weird guy whose brain is trying to hold on to idealized memories of the past because he’s afraid of growing up#n wishes they had the insight they do now back then. if I had known I was a nb lesbian dealing w massive comp het#if I had known abt the bpd I could’ve realized that I split on ppl and myself#i was so excited to have friends and be cared about man#I hate that little guy I was but I don’t blame them for being stupid and not understanding shit. I wish I could slap my younger self on the#back of the head and be like “’be normal dumbass ur friends like you’’#I uhh often focus on hurting myself more than not hurting the people around me and it was rlly bad back then#asks#nonnie#this is all to say that I think that the constant feeling of instability and academic stress is causing me to subconsciously wish for the#the days I perceive as being easier. it’s a mishmash of real events and things that possibly could’ve been if I was normal#I believe I want a feeling of control or something? idk. idk that contradicts everything#dreams are just dreams. I’m probably just regretting how much of senior year I lost and that’s it
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok im afraid to admit that i actually like university way more than previously stated. esp mamagerial economics and statistics.
#i kinda regret that i won't have the full experience of my master's degree bc of work#i mean i do love working but i wish i had more hours in a day#diary of a gay slav
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think she will be my next impulsive spending/treating myself treat
#j. talks#I need a few more days to think about outfit options because she is bold (to me)#but oh I love tote bags. my other esc one I wore the whole last spring/summer but she was simply beige/black#and I kinda regret not getting the Christmas one so I might do it
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
Im so happy it's almost your 2 year!! Congratulations on that milestone that is absolutely such a celebration. How have you felt since getting top surgery? Any unexpected and happy benefits you didn't think or expect to be a happy thing before the surgery? 🎃
thank you!!! considering I was waiting in Limbo for 5 years waiting to be contacted by the surgeon I really didn't think this day would come where I just feel Normal having a Body.. So every milestone is a gift and a blessing!
Things since surgery have felt..... just so nice. Just.. Peaceful.
just nice.
y'know?
(I mean aside from the Agonies but that has to do with the shambling mass that is the Rest of my life and not my chest)
I've always described the way I experience(d, it's not so much a factor in my life anymore) dysphoria was less an acute sensation or thought and more of like... a Vague Schism? like I piloted my body around but I wasn't really there? it's hard to explain.. cause it's the kind of thing you notice more actively after it's Gone than while it's There.
T helped a lot, keeps helping a lot, but after top surgery, when I'd finished healing and could just.. live my life Sans Tits I could feel that schism close, and the me in my head and the me in the Meat World finally.. met. And it's just.. really nice.
Having a Body.
Being your body.
it's a good fucking time.
leaves a lot of room for other things.
I don't think there's been a lot of... surprises? so far.. in terms of what I've found happiness in.. I guess the journey I've been on from being kind of uncomfortable with how my body ended up being shaped after they scooped out Literally Everything to kinda loving it but that's more related to a lightly separate but definitely entangled journey of self discovery (everyone say Thank You Karl)
So I guess the most surprising and pleasant thing is just How Much it helped me feel more comfortable in my gender?
But really all of it's been great. Very chill, very peaceful, 10/10 no regrets. \(v-v)/
#monster noises#I feel like I had such a weird experience with the surgery itself#I think I posted about it at the time but like..#I really wasn't feeling it at first#not like.. regretting the surgery I knew that was the right choice#but I just felt bad and weird and even more foreign in myself#until things settled down and I could take of the medical binder#and I didn't have to do so much everyday care and worry about if something was going wrong#that I could let it sink in?#and even then I didn't have my emotional-viral-video-moment where I cried in the mirror about it#(to be clear I'm not saying anything about that kind of reaction! I'm honestly kinda jealous that I never got that...#it just feels like that's what the expectation is...)#instead I was just.. hanging out at home one day#all healed up a few weeks later#just living my life#when I stopped in front of the mirror and it was just like#Oh.#hey!#There you are! I've been waiting an awful long time. It's nice to finally meet you!#I just finally.. Was#and I just smiled about it#maybe did a little stim wiggle#as I am want to do#and went about my day#very aware that an ever present static in the back of my head was just... not there anymore#and that was that
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#sorry for my inactivity I’ll try to answer asks tomorrow!!#I had a really hectic past week if you couldn’t tell and my life has been complete turmoil ngl#still can’t believe what happened w my ex(?)#it’s kinda crazy to en and idk what to do now either#things aren’t too awkward irl ig but it’s a bit weird after his second confession that came three days after he I finally dumped me#and I feel somewhat bad for causing him to cry for so long on his bday bcs if my letter#like since when do I know how write touching shit#I was supposed to be more like a “things I wished I said type of letter not “I want you to regret your decision and want me back#oh well I guess time will tell#hopefully it doesn’t get too weird since we’re going on the trip on Friday too…#jas bambles 🎐#tbd#****INITIALLY NOT FINALLY
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like the idea of "forgiveness" for people who've hurt you is like... Pretty christian based? Bc ngl. Why tf am i forgiving someone who abused me a lot. If we're talking "mental peace"... Well bud i kinda just gotta not think about it or when i do to work on my emotions around it so i can cope better with my trauma. Literally why am i forgiving people who dont regret hurting me and who would never apologize and how exactly does that bring more "peace"? Bc personally id feel like im ignoring something that bothers me a lot just so i can tolerate being around it when idk. Theres people who i definitely dont need to tolerate being around lol.
#forgiveness#quote unquote#some of these people would actively continue trying to hurt me if i was still around them and literally wtf is the use#of forgiveness then???#being unfazed by their presence seems to be the better alternative as well as ignoring them..?#or idk. literally fucking leaving the room if they arrive.#'forgiveness' is what christians do towards non christians who fail to fail to be christians. its patronizing. its assumptive.#as if those people are somehow spiritually crying out that theyre sorry. thats how christians are w forgiveness.#how tf is what id be doing if i 'forgive' my abusers any different#its 'forgiveness' with the assumption that some day the person whos hurting you or in this case simply not christian will actually#decide you were right and 'apologize' for going against them#idk about you but i dont want to live in a false reality daydream that my abuser will someday be normal and nice and empathetic#how is that a useful belief at all in the long run. im just convincing myself somethings gonna happen that wont.#i think more ppl should go about the world assuming their abuser doesnt give a fuck and never will bc quite honestly that seems more likely#ive never felt peaceful when i attmept to forgive people knowing inside im still upset with them#however i feel much more peaceful when i embrace the fact they dont care and thus i dont have to care about them either 🤷#like accepting the current facts brings me more relief than speculating on the future.#idk but i kinda refuse to forgive people who dont regret their actions towards me and who dont give af about me#if getting caught up in resentment is the issue... then you need some therapy of sorts to work on the resentment so you can get to a point#where you dont give a fuck if they do apologize. not assume someday like a pretentious asshole that theyll apologize#literally im nowhere near that important to my abusers for them to do that
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
