#I know I’m not ugly from a conventional societal stand point

[kavehayati]

Either that guy who harassed me in hs genuinely liked me and was being a freak or as the one girl said he just did that to be a douche and was trying to make a joke that hey he’s hitting on the quiet girl

[monkey-network]

Why Shrek IS The Best

Tastes can change, you know? And it’s less about “What’s good about this now compared to before”, more of “Why would you like this now as opposed to before”? Unless allergic, you didn’t get why dark cola or hot chips tasted bad to you as a child, but when you grow up you can come to understand and appreciate it. Shouldn’t pressure yourself, that makes things worse, but things can certainly align in helping this newfound respect you get for something you’d believe you would never want again. That really is where I stand with Dreamworks’ Shrek. As a kid, while Toy Story left me traumatized for a while, Shrek left me side-eyeing with how crass and ugly it looked and I never wanted to think of it. But, as I grew up to respect animation a lot more, 2018 was where I looked back at Shrek and soon come to understand how wrong I was and how much greatness it has that I now consider it an all time great. And with it getting inducted into the Library of Congress, I thought it was finally time to present what I see in this film. Let’s do this right with...

The SOMEBODY

Now this frame has been meme’d to death. If there’s anything iconic about this film, ‘bout the franchise as a whole, it’s the exact moment when our main character charges out of his outhouse as Smash Mouth’s ‘All Star’ gets going. But this honestly just says a lot about Dreamworks’ direction from its previous films where compared to Disney that’ll take their time making the setup before getting into the hype point for its lead, Shrek gets going in one minute if we don’t count the logo intro. Not even The Emperor’s New Groove, which was going for the same tone before Shrek even released, took more of it’s time with the fairy tale aspect of it in its intro. Shrek literally wipes his ass with the fairy tale aspect before giving us the SOMEBODY, all around a minute. This frame really shows that this is sticking to the Disney formula in some way because it’s wasting no time getting into it. It represents the more brisk pace Shrek has with pulling you into what it’s gonna be about. This overall frame works in its thematic and parody aspect and I’ve yet to see anything top this exact moment, not even the greatest films I’ll ever remember.

But enough about the fact that I made a whole paragraph about this one frame of the movie. Let’s dive into what I say is a piece of the heart for this film.

The Earnestness

Speaking of Disney, you probably notice that their films have some cushioning in their presentation, like they generally don’t show things with a straightforward lens; there’s some theatrics in the way their best movies present themselves. That’s not a problem, mind you, but that helped me understand how Shrek does things very differently whether you consider it parody or not. While it throws mockery at the played out conventions associated with fairy tales, especially its most subtle jab at copyright, it doesn’t full on say fairy tales are annoying and bad. Hell, the film IS a fairy tale adapted from a fairy tale about a fookin’ OGRE that can eat lightning and kills with farts. But, it’s an accurate and earnest way to view a fairy tale from a somewhat realistic lens. Let’s take Shrek’s journey for instance.

Typically, the main character would want to experience something more; explore new horizons, prove themselves, find their calling. Shrek off the bat doesn’t need or desire any of that. He’s content with his life, beside the angry mob he casually scares off, and throughout the film he’s not interested in anything else outside getting the squatters out his swamp. He happily makes a deal with the villain of the film to exile those innocent refugees off his land so he could then build a wall to keep everybody out. Bringing up Emperor’s New Groove again, Shrek and Kuzco are the few characters I know that are actively antagonistic even when they’re forced into their situation from outside forces. However unlike Kuzco that gets to be emperor again but learns humility, Shrek is in the same spot as before but learns that there are people out here that can love him for who he is. I can’t say there’s anything grand about that, but it doesn’t need to be unlike the many Disney or any film that tries to shower you with the grandest themes. The relationships Shrek has with Donkey and Fiona are the most grounded I’ve ever seen because they’re not only natural, they’re hardly dolled up with the bells and whistles made to either drum up the biggest laughs or tug the heart strings viciously. When I think about it, I honestly could see myself in Shrek. He isn’t made to be a legend, he isn’t some secret genius or lost prince, he’s just an every-man ogre that wants to live peacefully or meet SOMEBODY that doesn’t treat as someone to be feared or disgusted at. Everything Shrek says is something anybody could or would say if they were his shoes because he, and the film in general, is the most grounded without making it all distractedly meta or genre-savvy. This is generally helped by...

The Dounkaey

Everyone’s talked about how Donkey is the best confidant for Shrek and Fiona. How he’s most true to himself to where he’s the most openly musical character in the film, and how he’s the most balanced here with his comedic vs serious moments. But I gotta say it too: Donkey is one of the greatest sidekicks ever. He’s a motormouth, but is never annoying to where you wish he left the film. The couple times he is purposefully annoying, not for a joke, is when he knows Shrek isn’t being truthful. He truly gets to know Shrek on this journey, and is the character Shrek gets to capacity to actually loosen up to, so it’s fitting that he’d be the one to push Shrek when the ogre’s sounding more vague than usual. Even when he’s harshly insulted, Donkey doesn’t take it as bad as when Shrek kept trying to shut him out again in the 3rd act after the Hallejulah sequence which is the scene in every Shrek movie where’s there a super sad song because Shrek is alone and yadda ya. I’ll get to it in a bit, but he is as much responsible in providing Fiona that seed of doubt that Shrek wouldn’t love her as the ogre she is. Donkey is the greatest friend because he wants to be there for those who are okay with him being around, and while you could give and take sidekick animals in your notable films with them in it, this film really wouldn’t have happened without him. Speaking of Fiona, I won’t retread what’s been said before like with Donkey but I did want to bring up something I haven’t seen many talk about,,,

The Love for An Ogre

I’ve seen many say the scene where Shrek overhears Fiona talk about “Who could love an ugly beast?” and misinterprets that as her talking about him as a cliched or contrived downside to the film, but I feel that a defense can be made. It personally makes sense that Shrek would misinterpret that and take it personally because 1) Who else would Fiona be talking about? 2) How would he know she was talking with Donkey? 3) Why would he just barge in on her? 4) Has no one considered that this moment is parallel to when Fiona overhears Shrek’s conversation with Donkey the night before?

Fiona is very much the antithesis to Shrek’s character where she can very much be open about what she wants but is scared at the idea of anyone figuring out who she really is. She’ll gladly be gross, kick ass, eat the young of a bird she let explode, but won’t let anyone see her true face. That’s why her curse makes sense, and why Shrek would take a fondness to her despite her initial disdain of him rescuing her. Fiona’s a character where the surface level beauty is her weakness as opposed to Shrek where it’s internal. Which is why when she overhears Shrek open up to Donkey about his societal isolation, she’s soon more comfortable around him. And it’s why when she opens up to Donkey about her looks, Shrek would unfortunately take it personal enough. I ask again, why would Shrek barge in on a conversation he wasn’t aware of or who she was talking about to not take it about anything else but him when what he heard such a cut so deep, especially from a character that bears his similar issues? It also helps that Donkey was in on it, as Shrek feels reasonably betrayed by the only other person he’s come to appreciate in his life. Contrived as it seems, it’s thematically important and appropriate to the conflict of Shrek’s character and the film overall. Don’t know how this could be conveyed any other way because it adds up at least.

I just wanna know how Shrek got to Faarquard’s and back by sunrise like did he run cuz that looked like a huge distance to travel on foot but anyways...

I’m sure things could’ve worked out if Shrek knew, either by barging in that night or through Donkey, but I think it’s fitting that the climax takes place at the wedding. After Shrek and Donkey understand their friendship, after Donkey reciprocates the Dragon’s love (more ways than one), and when Shrek grasps the mistake he made to charge over to Fuccquad’s chapel, we get to...

The End

After everything, we get to the moment where Shrek and Fiona get to share their first kiss, Fiona permanently transforms into an ogre, and we get this exchange. One of my favorite exchanges in the whole film:

Shrek: “Are you all right?” Fiona: “Well yes. But I don’t understand... I’m supposed to be beautiful.”

Shrek: “But you ARE beautiful”

We don’t need any other vows to understand their relationship was built up to this. This moment where Shrek can reaffirm Fiona’s feelings of being able to be herself in every way, because she allowed him to be himself in every way before. That’s that mutual love, baby, that just gets me every time and makes this film one of the best romance stories I know as well, even when it isn’t solely about the romance. This is Shrek’s story, and there’s nothing more touching than seeing this outcast not only get another to view him as a friend, not only someone to love, but people, if only a couple, to actually wanted to get to know him. I know Shrek 2 expands on this more, and it’s considered a golden sequel, but I will always cherish the first movie for how much it tells us off the bat while appearing as a “Take That” to Disney films. This is the genesis of Shrek feeling more accepted for himself and society and it just bears so much good commentary while being a good adventure nonetheless. Like you could say this film indeed has... dimensions? “You were trying to meme about la-”

The Conclusion

Mentioning it, I always had this thought with the conversation Shrek and Donkey had of why Shrek didn’t just “be an ogre” and pillage Fuccnut’s fortress. It’s possible Shrek could’ve taken out Faarquid himself, but that would mean being the beast he knows people have shunned him for, grabbed the torches and pitchfolks for, made him feel worse for. Shrek enjoys being an ogre, but he doesn’t like how society makes him feel lesser as an ogre. That really is what the four films have been about for him and what I’ve come to appreciate about these films personally. It can be easy to love yourself even when there are others out here that stand against you, but it’s hard to consider that anyone else could love you for who you are in spite of how you try to present yourself. But if there’s anything Shrek showed me, it’s that it’s possible. There can/will be people out here who appreciate the real you, will be there as much as you want to for them, and can help you realize more about yourself as opposed to suffering to silence eternally. Generally ideal, I know, but this film in the least offered me that thought in the most balanced way possible. It’s incredible how much of a tightrope this film has in its parody and sincerity and that makes its induction in the National Film Registry and being the first ever Best Animated Award winner pretty justified all things considered.

I know this film, the character, has been a meme over the years. As Schaffrillas mentions in his video, the direction Dreamworks made because of Shrek’s success kinda turned it into a heel people clowned on because, in theory, it was nothing but a joke with the onions and the swamp and IT’S NEVER OGRE. Then again, like I said in the beginning, tastes change. I’d say with Schaff’s masterful analyses on the film series and 3GI’s Shrek Retold and Shrekfest, the perception of the film sure enough shifted like the perception of Megamind. It’s one thing for a movie to blow people away or leave them thinking it’s horrible beyond belief, it’s another to take the time to then look back and see how those feelings have changed. For Shrek, it’s a film that was able to trudge out of the meme era to be a film many consider a strong, rewatchable, and unique. Like the beauty of Spongebob, Shrek is a considered a classic because as in the times as it appeared when it released, this film actually stood on its own with the most enjoyable and meaningful timelessness, exploring the desired love for the self, that deserves to be recognized. What else can I say, people?

It’s The Best

[lazyyogi]

Hi. It’s always an honor to hear your responses. I want to ask you if you believe in ego death and the concept of the dark night of the soul. I am 27 and went through an ego death when I was 19 (or maybe just a complete mental breakdown) but I lost all concept of my identity. I went through a pretty intense level of paranoia and almost schizophrenic-like symptoms - I was losing touch with reality in many ways, a reality that was structured, and I started feeling horrified at the darkness I was seeing and experiencing. I had been through trauma which led me to almost gaslight my own experience which may have lead me to this kind of depression. Years later, I have gotten a handle on things, moved towards healing, started to maybe see that I’m here for a reason that is connected how much compassion and empathy saves lives - but I had to basically start my life back from this deep place of loss and grief over almost a false self, a self which if I’m honest was something I wish I could go back to. at times still. I used to have an idea of who I “am/was” like this clear identity, now I think of myself and sometimes I see nothing, emptiness, or at worst, something truly ugly and wrong. I do have self hatred. I feel like I lost my mind at one point. I feel isolated and ashamed of my journey at times. After the ego death - I lost so many friends. So much I thought was real felt false and I’ve been building from there. I know that love is real, but sometimes reality and societal pressures make me horrified. I work a normal job, I attach to my personality to be successful, I know how to play the game pretty much - but I feel like something within me is hiding. Like I’m wearing a mask to get by but it’s not quite fitting. I don’t know if there’s a way to respond to this, but I wonder if you could provide any insight. Much love.

The ego never lived. How can it die?

There is a place of tension behind the eyes within the head. That is the space around which we fixate the concept of “I.” Whether that “I” has a rich and multidimensional identity or has only a blank, there is still that core sense of “I.” 

You have glimpsed the emptiness of all phenomena (include that I-sense) and there’s no real going back after that. It may have triggered a manic episode or something, I don’t know the details of your experience.

Part of this may be why you feel like you are wearing a mask and playing a game. I feel that way too. 

Let me tell you something that may grant you some relief: that mask and that game was never meant to fit you. All masks and games were never meant to fit you. And they wont, ever. This goes for everyone. But some people never notice or accept this and they just shrink themselves to fit the role.

The point isn’t to quit the game and throw away the mask. The point is that neither of those things are actual obstacles. They cause confusion but they aren’t actually standing in your way beyond that. Cut through the confusion and everything shifts. 

What I would recommend is that you read the ebook titled Awake! and try the Two-Part Formula. I wrote a post about it here. 

At this point, I don’t think you will be able to relax until you have an awakening. This is a very reliable method. Right now it’s like you have one foot out the door.

Given your past experience with paranoia and such, my advise is to take it slowly. Remember this fundamental Buddhist teaching:

Form is Emptiness Emptiness is Form. Form is Form Emptiness is Emptiness.

Let all of the human stuff just be human stuff. Don’t try to draw conclusions or twist the human stuff into something cosmic. Right there in Form is Emptiness. But also Form is Form and Emptiness is Emptiness. There is the conventional view and the absolute view. They are not separate but they are not the same either. You don’t have to understand it--it can’t be intellectually understood. Just let it be that way nonetheless. 

Feel free to hit me up along the way and after you read the ebook. I’m happy to help.

LY

[linkspooky]

The Characters of Nisiosin (1)

Trickster - Kumagawa 

Nisioisin is a prolific writer famous for the many distinct characters he creates, and writes with a unique sort of empathy that lets them be their weird and crazy selves without judgement. Okay, with plenty of judgment. This is the start of a new series I’ve been working on which analyzes some of the common themes that appears in Nisioisin’s works with more depth, as Nisioisin is the type who reuses, and recontextualizes old ideas a lot. 

The first thing we’re going to be taking a look at is Nisioisin’s take on the Trickster type character with Kumagawa. I’ll be doing Deishuu Kaiki, and Ii (Boku) to follow up. 

 A. Defining the Trickster. 

Before we determine what a Trickster is we have to define what an Archetype is when it comes to character writing. 

In theory, Jungian archetypes refer to unclear underlying forms or the archetypes-as-such from which emerge images and motifs such as the mother, the child, the trickster, and the flood among others. History, culture and personal context shape these manifest representations thereby giving them their specific content. These images and motifs are more precisely called archetypal images.

In other words they are ideas and images that reoccur in stories all around the world. For example a character like Loki has several things in common with the christian idea of satan even though they come from two different mythologies, both subvert the ‘father-figure’ king of their respective heavens, and both are responsible for kickstarting the chain of events that lead to the apocalypse scenario in both religions. 

Archetypes are characters that follow certain pre-determined patterns we all recognize. Luke Skywalker is what most people would recognize as the hero of the story, Obi-Wan Kenobi is the mentor, just by thinking of ‘hero’ and ‘mentor’ you already have a pre-conceived idea of how the character is going to act in the story. This is a good guideline for analyzing the similiarities between the characters Nisioisin uses in his works. 

The Trickster, Jung says, is an aspect of the shadow archetype, at least in its negative traits (see "On the Psychology of the Trickster-Figure".  Examples of the trickster are Satan, Loki, etc.)

The shadow is an archetype that consists of the sex and life instincts. The shadow exists as part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, weaknesses, desires, instincts, and shortcomings.

If the Hero is what everyone thinks a good guy is, then the Shadow is playfully the opposite of they. They are what everyone thinks a good guy isn’t. They represent the repressed aspect of our minds, and exist to call into question the common order. 

The trickster, obviously, deceives, often playfully, sometimes painfully.     The Fool is a shadow figure distressed by some unconscious lack of power, often driven by greed or an inordinate desire for fame (all archetypes), who projects his or her inadequacies against scapegoats as described above.  The Fool is not always negative, of course.  A relatively benevolent form of the fool is the Clown, who is more aware of his or her trickster aspect, perhaps, than is the fool.  [Source.]

The trickster is what the hero is not. They are the shadow the hero casts. While the hero’s domain is the light, the trickster often works in the dark, behind the scenes sneaking around in the shadows. The hero is often straightforward, the shadow deceives and obfuscates. The hero is conventional and the trickster unconventional. 

In mythology, and in the study of folklore and religion, a trickster is a character in a story (god, goddess, spirit, human, or anthropomorphisation), which exhibits a great degree of intellect or secret knowledge, and uses it to play tricks or otherwise disobey normal rules and conventional behaviour.  he trickster crosses and often breaks both physical and societal rules. Tricksters "...violate principles of social and natural order, playfully disrupting normal life and then re-establishing it on a new basis."

[SOURCE.]

To simplify there are four rules I am going to set as reoccuring in Nisioisin’s use of the Trickster Archetype: 

Introduced as a Villain

Subverts Expectations

Lying, Liar who Lies

Inherent themes of Nihilism

1. Introduced as a Villain

Appearances can be deceiving. It is the trickster’s goal to deceive your expectations, and in that they subvert the natural order. In most stories the hero is good and the villain is bad. Straightforward so far, yes? Nothing is straightforward when a trickster is involved. Kumagawa Misogi is someone who is introduced and built up as the ultimate enemy of Kurokami Medaka. A girl with a noble goal of trying to make everyone happy. Therefore anyone who opposes her would have to be ignoble, right?

Kurokami Medaka brings out the best in people, and Kumagawa Misogi brings out the worst. That is the simple, black and white comparison that we’re given between the two of them at the start of the manga. 

Kumagawa is so inhuman when we first meet him that for the first 52 chapters of the manga, when other characters refer to him and as he’s built up as an antagonist his face is always obscured. He’s not even seen as human in the eyes of others.

However, this simple idea is subverted by the manga itself. Medaka and Kumagawa are compared not as opposites but rather as complemtnary forces who not only have several things in common with one another, but also play into each other. 

Kumagawa is someone who can uniquely understand Medaka’s point of view in a way other people cannot. He’s not someone who opposes Medaka, but rather someone set up to oppose her. Kumagawa is not only aware to some extent that Medaka is the hero of the story, but he’s chosen to make himself the villain. 

2. Subverts Expectations

The entire point of Kumagawa’s arc is that even the absolute scariest types of people the minus, aren’t true villains of the story, even when they don’t want to be sympathized with, even when they don’t want to be saved, they are deep downs still people. 

Kumagawa’s arc intentionally sets up the idea that some characters are natural villains who don’t want to be saved, only to subvert that idea in the end. Tricksters are subversive, they exist to flip standard notions of good and evil, black and white ideas on their head. They are transversive, once they have played their role in the story it is impossible to think of things the same way again. 

Kumagawa is a character who exists to subvert what we call traditionally binary opposites. That is ideas that we think oppose each other. Winners and losers, strength and weakness, talented and untalented, all of these ideas tie strongly into Kumagawa’s character.

Ajimu brings up Kumagawa’s bitterness towards the status quo. The people who are happy are the ones who are currently in power. They are the ones who are able to work hard, they are the ones who are able to have friends, they are the ones who always win in the end. 

Kumagawa’s original goal is to flip those ideas on their head. To show that even people who are outside the power structure, outsiders like him, are able to have friends, to work hard, and to win. 

By doing this he subverts the natural order and turns it around. This is what comes to a head in his fight with Medaka. Usually it would be the winner is the strongest, but the idea is flipped in that fight it’s proven the one who loses more and climbs their way back up is the strongest one.

There is strength in weakness and weakness in strength and these ideas never play in the straightforward ways we think they will. That’s why Kumagawa who identifies as weaker than anyone else, is able to easily subvert the balance of power tip it in his favor and overcome strong people. 

3. Lying, Liar who Lies

Basically Kumagawa lies as compulsively.. He says everything in [brackets like this] and it's like always speaking and using airquotes after everything you say. It makes everything he says sound completely insincere. It’s also a pun for ‘To Show Off’ meaning he exaggerates everything he says in order to look cool. 

Kumagawa will just blantantly lie at times for no reason other than to lie. One of his habits is to claim things aren't his fault when they obviously are. His introduction is screwing everyone to a wall, and then standing there covered in their blood go [I'm not the one who did this, it's not my fault.] His introduction is him rattling off lies mainly to confuse people and make himself impossible to read. 

The key word is once again these expectations. The trickster uses lies as a mean of controlling the expectations of others, playing around with them and he gains some measure of power over this. A trickster is often not very traditionally powerful and has to rely on his wits to get by. 

Kumagawa's life is pure chaos and basically everything ever will go wrong for him, so he tells lies to have some kind of illusion of control over that chaos. People who see life as a story do so to give themselves agency, to trick themsleves into believing they’re the ones telling that story. 

Kumagawa pretending that the world is a manga, gives him the illusion that he can read, and anticipate the world like he would a weekly shonen jump manga. When in reality the world is what it’s always been, complete chaos. Kumagawa tells himself that lie to obfuscate himself because he finds safety in those lies, in no one knowing who he truly is. 

He finds his identity in those lies, which is why he intentionally plays the role of the villain when he could be a hero. Kumagawa will lie about his identity, first to be a bad victim, to be an ugly victim, he pretends these things have value because it's all he has. He only has negative experience of the world and the trauma he’s asquired so far and that’s what he finds familiarity in. Kumagawa finds identity in being the world's biggest loser. 

4. Themes of Nihilism

Kumagawa is a character who directly confronts Medaka’s assertion that she was ‘born for a reason’, by asserting the opposite. That there’s no goal in life, no point to being alive, and therefore humans are born for no reason. 

While that seems like a wholly negative statement at first, the point of Nihilism is to question established ideas and power structures. It’s to dismantle what we are told matters, and what we are told has meaning and instead come to understand our own meaning. 

If Medaka is an existence desperately trying to give meaning to life, then Kumagawa is trying to reject the assertion that life has meaning. It’s understandable why. The values that are said to hold true for everybody else have never once held true for Kumagawa. If you work hard you’ll win. Bad people are the only ones that suffer. If you ask for help you’ll get saved. Kumagawa has witnessed all those things he is told should be true about the world proven as falsehoods, and because of that his response is one of rebellion against the order. 

Nihilism is a step on the way to existentialism. 

In the most basic terms possible it's like. Rejection of societal meanings and values that you are told about -> Rejecting everything which leads to moral nihilism (nothing has meaning boo hoo) -> Realization that if everything is just made up value you can make up your own, and that you're not freed from society's obligations and can pursue what you want (sunglasses nihilism, party time).

Kumagawa as a character is firmly in the middle step. He’s a character who rejects everything, because he finds his identity in his rebellion against traditionally held notions. 

Kumagawa is a character trying to reject what everyone else tells him is meaningful, and instead trying to create his own meaning. He’s trying to find the positives in a life that’s literally nothing but suffering. That’s the point of his whole complex about minuses, that people who have everything go wrong for them still have a reason to smile. 

 Basically Kumagawa's philosophy becomes, if I can endure all of this and still keep on laughing and smiling, then you can too. Even living the worst life possible where you can't accmplish a single thing, and can't amount to anything, you can still find something to laugh and smile about.

It’s a philosophy unique to him, and one that he could only come to by challenging the established norm. Not only does Kumagawa’s nihilism help the minuses, but he also ends up helping Medaka herself as she’s the one who has to let go of the ‘reason that she was born’.

Just like Kumagawa, Medaka has to go and seek out her own reason. As in the end the two of them as a pair, hero and villain, are not opposites but rather two sides of the same coin. They are complentary forces that contain parts of each other. 

They are both ultimately, whether trickster or hero, very human characters. The roles in the story they play only serve to flesh out their humanity. Which is another theme in Nisioisin’s writing, but we’ll continue that in the next posts. 

[wandlores]

Newsworthy

Pairing: Harry Potter x Luna Lovegood Words: 2,136 You can also read this on AO3. This is for the @hprarepairnet Winter Challenge and the anon who requested Lunarry :) I also used the prompt #16 from this list! 

Harry wasn't the type to enjoy parties, especially his ex-girlfriend's party.

He didn't have hard feelings about him and Ginny not working out. They ultimately decided they were more like siblings than lovers. It was a mutual thing. It was just awkward for Harry answering all the questions that were thrown his way about the fact that she was now dating the notorious Blaise Zabini rather than him. The wizarding community didn't seem to understand it - not that he cared what any of them thought anyway. But now that Ginny was a famous Quidditch player and he was, well, the Chosen One, it was guaranteed that the press was going to show up at this party.

Harry played with the invitation in his hand and read the title explaining it was a holiday party at Blaise's manor to honor the holiday season. They were required to bring their holiday cheer. He didn't feel like reading the rest and threw the invitation down on his kitchen table.

Great. Just great. Knowing Ginny, that meant he had to wear an ugly Christmas sweater. He walked to his bedroom and over to his closet and pulled out his sweater Ginny got for him two years ago. He studied it closely and tried hard not to stare at it in disgust.

It was covered with fuzzy reindeer and sparkles. Harry remembered how excited Ginny was when she gave it to him. He didn't have the heart to tell her he hated it, until she exclaimed, "Isn't it hideous!? I love it!"

That's when Harry learned that ugly Christmas sweaters were apparently a thing.

He sighed as he put the sweater back in his closet.

It wasn't like he had to impress anyone other than the press. But even then, he wasn't going to be the only one in an ugly Christmas sweater at a party held by Ginny Weasley.

Or so he thought.

It was Christmas Eve, and Blaise Zabini's manor was as flawless as Harry had seen in pictures. He tugged at his Christmas sweater awkwardly as he walked down the front path.

It was then that he caught sight of Ron and Hermione. Hermione was dressed in a long purple gown, and Ron was in new dress robes. Why were they dressed up for a Christmas party that Ginny was throwing?

Anxiously, Harry pushed past some of the other guests and apologized as he went. Once he reached Ron and Hermione, Hermione looked at him with a shocked expression and Ron burst out laughing.

"Is this your idea of dress robes, mate?" Ron asked, "Or is this a way for you to humiliate Ginny? You know, she does appreciate a good joke."

"Wha-what do you mean?"

"Harry, you read the invitation, right?" Hermione questioned, "It said we are required to wear dress robes and gowns. Ginny is also receiving an award at this Christmas party."

Harry gulped, "I-I must have misread. I just assumed that a Christmas party held by Ginny would mean ugly Christmas sweaters."

Ron laughed loudly again, and people started turning to look at them in their direction by the foyer. Hermione smacked Ron in the arm and gave him a stern look.

"This is not funny, Ronald! Blaise will never let Harry live it down, and the press will be all over him! They are already down his neck about his break-up with Ginny that happened over a year ago!"

A shameful look spread across Ron's face and his cheeks turned pink. It was then he noticed he had drawn attention to the three of them. Draco Malfoy was now snickering with Pansy Parkinson over Harry's attire.

Or so they thought.

"Do you see Parkinson and Malfoy staring at Harry now?" Hermione hissed, "This is so embarrassing for him!"

"Gee, thanks Hermione," Harry replied sarcastically.

She gave him a sympathetic look, but Ron nudged her in the shoulder.

"I, I don't think they are looking at Harry, Hermione," he corrected. Then he motioned over to their left.

Luna Lovegood was standing in the main hall with a glass of champagne. Neville was looking around her nervously and tugging at his collar. She was also wearing an ugly Christmas sweater, but she didn't seem to care at all, or even notice that she was dressed out of place.

"Well, at least you aren't the only one, Harry," Hermione said gratefully, "But, this is Luna we are talking about. I love that girl, but she isn't the type to really, um, go along with social conventions."

"You think?" Ron asked jokingly.

Hermione smacked him in the arm again.

Harry swallowed the remaining saliva in this throat and ignored the couple's bickering. He looked around anxiously for Ginny to instantly apologize, or for the nearest exit. He couldn't ruin her big night or God forbid, the Zabini reputation. Harry rolled his eyes at the thought. But instead of finding Ginny, Harry made eye contact with Luna. Her eyes went wide with excitement as she made her way over to him. Neville left her to get more champagne.

"Harry! It is so good to see you. I love your sweater!"

"Er, thanks Luna," Harry replied, "But don't you feel, well, a little out of place?"

"Always," she answered, "And your point?"

Harry blinked a few times. He knew he shouldn't be surprised, but Luna always surprised him. She was completely unphased.

"You know, Harry," Luna started, "I have been meaning to floo over to your flat to ask you something."

"Oh?"

But before she could continue, they heard Blaise's voice over a loud speaker.

"Welcome everyone. If you do not have any refreshments, please help yourself to the right side of the hall. We are now going to get started with the ceremony."

Cameras flashed around them, and Harry tried to back further away from them into a decorative curtain. But naturally, Harry was a clutz, and since he was a clutz, he tripped backwards over the curtain instead.

As he fell, all the attention landed on him and away from Blaise Zabini. All he could see were cameras flashing and the press commenting on his attire.

"Is that the Chosen One!?"

"Is-is he wearing a Christmas sweater with reindeer all over it to a formal event?"

"Rita is going to love this!"

Another camera flashed.

As he tried to get up, he suddenly felt a body standing in front of him. It was then he realized it was Luna.

"Laugh all you want!" Luna called to the press, "But at least he is being true to himself and the holiday cheer!"

Everyone around them snickered, but Luna stood her ground.

"Yes, Miss Lovegood, we can see that," one of the reporters commented, "Are you here with Harry?"

Harry stood up now and was about to respond, but Luna beat him to it.

"Yes, actually," she lied, "We decided to make a statement that we do not need to live up to your societal expectations. We figured Ginny would be proud of two of her best friends for making this statement together as a couple."

It was then that Harry glanced up at the stage to see Ginny. She was holding Blaise's hand, but she was smiling down at them with a knowing smile. This confused Harry even more.

"Harry is dating Luna Lovegood?" Reporters mumbled.

All you could hear now were quills scratching vigorously against parchment, until Blaise cleared his throat and turned everyone's attention back to the stage.

"As we were saying-" he continued.

Harry took a deep breath as all the reporters looked back up at the stage and away from him and Luna.

He had many questions for Luna. He wanted to ask her why she lied, but he felt like he knew the answer. They were friends. Friends do that for each other. Yeah, friends always helped you with the press.

That's how he tried to rationalize it for himself, anyway.

A week had gone by since Ginny's Christmas gala. The press went wild with Harry Potter's new dating "news." He hadn't talked to Luna since that night either. She acted like nothing had happened for the rest of the gala, and she didn't even send him an owl afterwards. At least the good news was that he survived the party in his ugly sweater thanks to Luna.

Unlike usual, Harry couldn't stop thinking about Luna and what she had said to the press. Why would she lie and say they were dating when she easily could have said they were just there at friends? Would Harry actually be interested in pursuing a relationship with Luna in that way? The prospect seemed to come out of nowhere, but Harry didn't seem to mind it at all.

It was then that the door bell on his flat rang. He jumped at the sound, but he went to answer the door.

Standing there was Luna Lovegood. Her long blonde hair was tied up in a knot on the top of her head, and she was still wearing a holiday sweater even though Christmas had passed. It had many sparkles on it and puff balls that created a design that Harry could not make out.

"Hey Harry," she said, "May I come in?"

"U-uh, of course."

She smiled at him and walked inside. She made herself at home and sat on his couch and crossed her legs. She was wearing hot pink yoga pants, and Harry couldn't help but stare at them. That was the excuse he made for himself. Yeah, it was definitely because of the color.

"I'm sure you have many questions about the gala."

"Yes-" Harry started, but Luna interrupted him.

"I just want to say I lied to give you an easier time with the press. I wasn't trying to make them assume anything even though my words were chosen very specifically."

Harry was surprised when he felt disappointed by her honesty.

"Oh-yeah, I figured that's why."

"But I also do want to ask you something," she added.

Harry nodded.

"Have you ever thought about me in a way that is more than just friendship?"

Caught off guard by her bluntness, Harry blinked a few times and sat down on the couch next to her. He started nervously playing with hands.

"Honestly," he told her, "Not until that night."

He watched as Luna nodded sadly and didn't look him in the eye. It was the first time he had ever seen her look disappointed in anything.

Abruptly, she stood up.

"Very well, then," she told him, "I should be going."

As she tried to walk to the door, Harry followed her and blocked her hand from grabbing the handle.

"Wait," he said, "I should add that even though I hadn't thought about it until that night, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the idea now since."

Luna's eyes brightened, and she smiled softly. She grabbed his hand and looked down at it. Harry could feel his palms start to sweat with nervousness.

"Then would you be opposed to trying it out and at least fooling the press for a little while?"

Harry smirked and answered honestly, "I would love to try it out, especially if that means we can give the press a run for their money as well."

"Great," she replied, "I was hoping you would say that."

Snow was falling on the ground a month later. Harry was laying with Luna on his couch and they were watching a Muggle movie. Her feet were on his lap, and he was rubbing them affectionately.

"You know," Harry spoke up, "I have never asked. What made you think about trying this out?"

She licked her lips and sat up on the couch and crossed her legs. Harry turned to face her directly.

"I have honestly always thought about it," she told him, "But I never wanted to get in between you and Ginny. I figured I would wait awhile to see if you stayed together. When you didn't, I figured I would awhile until I said something to-"

"You waited for me for a year?"

"I have always been waiting for you, Harry. Ever since I met you."

Stunned, Harry studied her face. He had now memorized the color of her eyes and the beauty marks on her face. To him, they were absolutely original, just like her personality. He learned to love the uniqueness that only seemed to come with her.

He brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes; she blushed at his touch.

"I think I might be falling for you," he whispered.

Luna leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. Harry closed his eyes at her touch. As she pulled away, she whispered under her breath, "That's what I've been waiting for."