#I like Calico Jack for Calico Jack

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

You know after thinking about it I think my main problem with Izzy stans once you get past the obvious one, which is the way that they are racist to Ed, (Clearly my main problem but not the problem I’m here to talk about) is that they don’t even like Izzy. They like Ed, and they like Black Pete, and they like Calico Jack, but they can’t admit that they like those characters for some reason? (you know why they can’t admit that they like Ed and Black Pete)

Like the ways Ed’s back story gets cannibalized for Izzy in a lot of fics and the way people will swap Izzy and Ed’s personalities is well trod territory. Ed is treated as enjoying violence and having a toxic masculinity problem and Izzy is treated like someone who’s trying desperately to make his working relationship with Ed beneficial when in the show those rolls are switched. You’ve heard this meta before. I just made a whole post about the way that Jack’s roll in Ed’s backstory (i.e. like 90% of the reason he exists as a character) gets ignored in favor of giving that roll to Izzy. And don’t even get me started on Black Pete. Both Izzy and Black Pete struggle with toxic masculinity, are obsessed with Blackbeard, and desperately wants to be in a leadership roll and aren’t very good at it. But so far at least Black Pete is the one undergoing the redemption arc and getting better, and Izzy is the one getting worse. I see people wanting a relationship with Lucius to redeem him and I’m like girl you have that. That’s Black Pete. Like Black Pete chose to get better and he’s still working on it but when he realized that Blackbeard wasn’t who he thought he was he minded his business and he went from complaining about sewing being womens work and worrying about what Blackbeard’s crew would do in episode one to learning through his relationship with Lucius to be sweet and vulnerable. And while Izzy in canon is attracted to Lucius i guarantee you that Lucius will not be playing that roll in his narrative, because it’s the roll he plays for Black Pete. That’s not to say that Lucius fixed him, but they will give Lupete’s dynamic to Izzy for no fucking reason.

So I’m gonna do something I don’t usually do and that’s defend Izzy here. If you’re gonna like Izzy there are tons of things about him that you can like. His psychosexual obsession with Blackbeard and his and Ed’s weird codependency is juicy enough to drive the plot at times. He’s a little freak to the point where he got his toe cut off and he liked it. He’s stubborn. He’s driven. He’s manipulative. He’s plotting and conniving. He sees other people as caricatures of themselves and DOES NOT react well at all to people falling outside of the box he’s made for them. He’s angry all the time. He can’t identify love. He’s jealous of Stede in the way that a child is jealous of their friends’ friends. All of these are wonderful traits in a blorbo (and terrible traits in a person, but a blorbo is not a real boy) They make him interesting and they give him layers. It’s very fun to theorize what happened to him to make him this way. There are many reasons to like Izzy Hands. But it’s kind of annoying when other characters’ cool stuff is ascribed to Izzy and those characters are ignored and maligned in favor of Izzy, especially when those characters are the brown romantic lead and the bald kinda frumpy guy with a lisp, who in 99% of media doesn’t get to be seen as hot but in this media gets to be desired. And it makes me feel bad for your Izzy that you cant like him for him.

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

My dad's lack of media comprehension serves as a fascinating litmus test for gay subtext. He "didn't pick up on any gay breadcrumbs" between Stede and Ed until the moment they kissed, but he knew that Will Byers was gay just from "it's not my fault you don't like girls" in series 3. It took him way too long to realise that there was something fruity going on in Killing Eve, but he fully believed that Sherlock and John ended up together

[toffee-beans]

So how about that new octonauts show huh

[factual-fantasy]

I have learned a veeeery valuable lesson while making this comic.

If I'm getting burnt out on a project and decide to take a break by drawing whatever I want?.. I absolutely should NOT make a giant comic that induces the same exhaustion that the first project did- BUT that's okay, the comic is done and the lesson has been learned. <XD

As for this comic, it was only a matter of time before I drew something angsty for my Calico Jack. You know, with him being a rough and tough pirate.. I imagine he’s been through some horrible things. Things that still effect him to this day. And the worst part about them is that he probably doesn’t even really recognize these things as problems. “That’s just how its always been.” Maybe he’d say. The fact that he cant sleep in a quiet room without his heart pounding out of his chest.. its “normal”. Its always been like that.

But then you have Natquik. He joked at the campfire about his traumatizing experience living in the Antarctic. But I think deep down he knows that it was messed up. He still knows what things are, and are not good behaviors. Jack sitting stiff on the couch, riddled with anxiety over the silence outside.. is not good. And poor Nat wants to help. But its been a long time since he’s been around people.. So the only reference he has for comforting people is his experience as a polar scout leader. Staying awake all night to guard the den so the cubs could sleep peacefully is something he would do very frequently.

It was a little silly in practice. An old fox guarding a grizzled pirate while he slept? It was odd.. but its all Natquik could really think of to help Jack..

Well, he was lucky that it was exactly what Jack needed.

[nyctolovian]

I love how OFMD is the complete opposite of bury your gays.

People can get stabbed through, get shot in the leg and get gangrene, get poisoned by their wife, get stabbed by their wife, get smashed in the head with a cannon ball, get brought on the brink of death, get thrown off a ship in the middle of the sea, and get stranded on a tiny island.

But as long as they're gay, they just won't die. Unburiable gays. Everyone else dies gruesome deaths but not a single gay person has died. David Jenkins is the only one doing things right.

[celluloidbroomcloset]

Little detail I missed in the "I'm your Captain!" scene are Ed's actual lines as Stede starts ordering him around:

Stede: Be...helpful! Ed: Ooo... Stede: There's a lot of things that need doing! Ed: Good, good, right, Captain, sure...

Ed is like: "This is interesting...oh. Oh. OH."

He is just so thrilled to have a man that he knows he's safe with. Was he ever safe with anyone?

[carmillas-girlfriend]

send an emoji to my ask box and I'll give my opinion on an Our Flag Means Death character:

🧜‍♂️- Stede Bonnet

🐙- Edward Teach

🦄- Izzy Hands

✒️- Lucius Spriggs

🍊- Oluwande Boodhari

🗡- Jim Jiminez

🐈‍⬛️- Frenchie

🐦- Nathaniel Buttons

🌧- Black Pete

💃- Wee John Feeney

🔪-Roach

🦷- The Swede

👃- Spanish Jackie

🐍- Archie

🐕- Fang

🍲- Zheng Yi Sao

🍃- Mary Read

🐇- Anne Bonny

🍺 - Calico Jack Rackham

🎨- Mary Allamby Bonnet

[ladyluscinia]

Izzy Hands Is Manipulative, But Not That Way

...or I finally finish that long ass meta post about why I love the fucking Navy Plot lol

The Izzy manipulation debate has been really interesting to me pretty much since it started, because I'd see a post arguing he's manipulating Edward and go "No, and he couldn't if he tried" and then the next post would say he sucks at manipulation because he's a blunt fucking instrument and I'd go "Yea- wait. Hmm. No, he can be targeted and tricky as fuck." Which does, on its surface, seem like a contradictory stance, but I swear it works.

Because the thing with Izzy - and this is such a fun thing imo - is there are two core types of manipulation that characters engage in, and Izzy fucking sucks at the one you expect his style of antagonist to focus on. But he's scarily good at the other.

Long meta under the cut, so get comfy.

...

From his role under Edward to the protagonist vs antagonist dynamic setup to his introduction scenes, Izzy is very much invoking the conniving second in command. We know this character from other media. He doesn't have the full power he wants so he's constantly scheming to get it. He can't or won't challenge his boss for some reason, so he settles for being the devil on their shoulder or working behind their back. He's the voice constantly ready to inflame insecurities and turn relationship cracks into chasms, and usually he's lying constantly to do so. His fingerprints are all over his boss's problems up to the moment they show some weakness, and then their loyal second goes right for the backstab. He is THE ambitious manipulator. The shady advisor. The snake.

And then you actually look at Izzy and he is not that guy. In fact, it's a testament to the strength of Edward's character arc how much his evil little henchman is not causing his problems.

So - Izzy and manipulation:

Izzy Can't Convince People To Do Things

Like. He really can't.

This interpersonal struggle is fairly fundamental to his character. And moreover, it's a skill that Izzy is intensely aware that he lacks, so usually he doesn't even try.

In his first episode he walks right up to Buttons and just straight up asks him for the information on his party. He doesn't even resolve to steal the hostages until he realizes that Stede has lost them in the bush already, and Izzy obtains them by buying them. When Stede confronts him they end up splitting the pair in a very above-board negotiation and he pretty much just goes with what Stede suggests.

Then in 1x03, people make a big deal of Izzy "manipulating" Edward by not clarifying that Stede didn't know who he was when he turned down the invite, but kind of importantly he repeats the damning line of the conversation faithfully. If he was going to lie, then why not lie? Why even go see Stede at all? And, if he didn't want Stede dead until after the conversation (understandable, tbh, since "Iggy" was stab-worthy), surely he could invent a better insult to rile Edward up. It makes his omission hit more like being bitchy about Stede not recognizing the obvious - namely that Izzy Hands works for Blackbeard and literally everyone knows this - than a slander campaign to get him killed. And once we properly meet Izzy and Edward in 1x04, Izzy's inability to manipulate becomes his main struggle.

Izzy's a blunt and direct person. He leans on authority bestowed by Blackbeard to take control of situations, playing the role he's supposed to play, and without it he lacks a Plan B. In 1x04 he doesn't have any authority over Edward, so his efforts to get him to take the danger of the Spanish seriously amount to "Well as bored as you might be, if you don't make a decision soon we're gonna fucking die." And this is true! There might be a very subconscious attempt at manipulation in his resignation speech before the "That's Blackbeard. I'm Stede, remember?" line - of the piss him off to get him to get his shit together variety - but Edward literally makes a joke out of it so not exactly effective.

And once Edward stops giving Izzy authority in general, his plan to make Lucius do stuff is still just... brute force. Which works at first when Lucius doesn't realize that Izzy's on his own now, and stops working as soon as Fang breaks ranks. His last ditch blackmail attempt isn't manipulative either - he just plans to tell the truth to Pete and assumes he'll be pissed about it. My guy loses a fight over the pirate equivalent of making an uppity employee clean the coffee maker while the boss is out. Not only does he fail to manipulate the crew in a conniving antagonist way... he doesn't even try.

I mean, the only time he (somewhat) succeeds in talking someone into things is 1x06. Getting Edward to agree to killing Stede isn't really manipulation - Izzy gets Fang and Ivan to back him in a very straightforward way because they all actually do have a stake in this - but he's passably able to push Stede to go through with the fuckery via fake compliments. It's not exactly high level work, though. Stede being vulnerable to ego-stroking / dares is pretty obvious.

So what is Izzy good at?

Well, if you can't make people do anything other than what they were going to do in the first place, you might as well lean into that.

...

Izzy Manipulates Situations, Not People

Situational manipulation is one of those fictional tropes that rarely can happen in real life, but there's not much resemblance because real life rarely gives you all the building blocks for a proper gambit and lets you loose. Too many factors. In narratives, though? It becomes one of my favorite ways of having a character be clever.

And before I get into this too much, a really fun sidenote - I think Izzy does situational manipulation more like the way protagonists do it. See, antagonists are usually emotionally and situationally manipulative (ex: provoking the hero to lash out and using it to frame them for a bigger crime), but it's not a good look when your hero drives the target to do something bad and then punishes them for it. So heroes lean on stuff like Batman Gambits - where the lynchpin of the scheme is the target fucking themselves over by behaving completely in character. They've written Izzy so ineffective at emotional manipulation that he pretty much has to rely on other characters' flaws or histories to cause problems, which has a very similar result. And it's wild.

...

Going back to the 1x03 confrontation in Jackie's bar, Izzy doesn't really do anything abnormal in how he conducts himself, but people are picking up on an agenda for a reason. Namely, the whole damn conversation quickly turns into a trap, and Izzy fully sits back and watches Stede spring it from sheer idiocy.

There's no indication that when Izzy walked up he wasn't going to carry out his task with all the bitchy professionalism expected of him, while probably hoping that Stede would eventually stick his foot in his mouth without Izzy's help (assuming he's the kind of idiot Izzy thinks he is). His first section of this conversation is nearly polite:

Izzy (about the Nose Jar): "I have a few colleagues in there." Stede: "Ugh. You again." Geraldo: "Mr. Hands, welcome. It's been a while." Izzy: "(To Geraldo) Yeah, because I hate this fucking place. (To Stede) But for some inexplicable reason, my boss would like a word with you. Bonnet."

It's not until Stede starts talking that I think Izzy clues in that Stede doesn't actually know who his boss is. He didn't introduce himself until the literal last second of their 1x02 interaction, so it wasn't obvious Stede wasn't literally bolting into the forest in horrified realization.

And Stede? He goes hard on being a bitch right out the gate. Brushes Izzy off, tells him to "get in line", calls him the wrong name, says he doesn't care who Izzy is...

Izzy so far has met Stede in a public place, in front of people who clearly treat Izzy with respect and fear. He doesn't bring up their previous interaction, Stede does. He doesn't even goad Stede beyond existing. He corrects him on his name, and watches it not register in the slightest. The next line is the clincher:

Izzy (slightly incredulous): "So I'll tell my Captain that you're declining then, yeah?"

As Izzy is speaking the conversation becomes a trap - he chooses a reasonable way to refer to Edward that isn't "Blackbeard" and waits to see if Stede will make this worse. The jump from "no I'm busy" to "tell him he has terrible taste in flunkies and he can go suck eggs in Hell" is all Stede, completely ignoring context clues as Geraldo stares on in horror. Hell, Jackie only refrains from later de-nosing Stede on the spot because Geraldo knows what's up, and Stede still doesn't pick up on the fact he should maybe be asking some questions (though I'll give him the knife was distracting).

Izzy returns to the ship, quotes Stede directly for his damning line, and waits to see what Edward will do with it. It's not good behavior on his part (and if he could have seen the future he might have tried worse), but switching mid-conversation to offering Stede an opportunity to fuck himself over is a very different mindset than simply lying to / provoking Stede or Edward to get what he wants. He's mostly being petty.

Stede did insult Edward of his own volition, after all, and just because Izzy fudges the truth to hide he didn't know he was insulting Blackbeard instead of just Izzy and a random stranger doesn't change that. All Izzy did to "escalate" that conversation was give Stede a second opening to do so himself.

But there is a far better example of Izzy masterfully manipulating a situation than this in-the-moment bit of pettiness, so let's move onto my favorite bit... explaining in extensive and slightly awestruck detail why the Navy plot. Fucking. Rules. Because it does. Ready?

...

How to Mastermind the Decisive Removal of One Stupid Fucking Stede Bonnet Over Drinks

Ahem. The Navy plot. Masterclass in intimate betrayal. Izzy's biggest escalation in the total collapse of Edward and Izzy's relationship, but also a completely fucking fascinating glimpse into whatever tangled web of codependency they've got going on, because Edward isn't even mad after 1x09. This wordcount is going to be insane enough without me getting into the Blackhands relationship connotations, so I will... attempt... to stick to breaking down the actual scheme.

And what a scheme it was.

Let's start at the beginning. Jack showing up to lure them into the trap at the start of 1x08? Nope, earlier. Izzy getting kicked off the ship and going to Jackie at the end of 1x06? Further back. Edward proposing the "kill Stede" plan at the end of 1x04, which is the domino that starts all this, right? Closer, but still no.

Izzy's first appearance on screen is in episode 1x02, and that episode is where the seeds of the Navy plot are first planted. See, during Stede's confrontation with Izzy, both of the hostages chime in:

Hostage 1 (Wellington): "Believe him, he's quite insane." Hostage 2 (Hornberry): "He does have the eyes of a madman. Sorry, you do."

Wellington says his line in a tone of voice that clearly indicates a story to tell, and it should also be noted that he is the same one who earlier jumped at the chance to tell the tribe chief about Stede murdering their captain - Nigel. And he's the one that Izzy leaves with, in a sour mood and wanting information about this "Stede Bonnet" character.

When Izzy later reaches out to the Navy, it's no coincidence that he finds Chauncey. He's known since right after their first meeting that Stede was directly responsible for the murder of an Admiral's brother and that the English Navy would know soon enough, since he was literally about to ransom a hostage back to them who would tell the story. And he filed that information away until it was useful or relevant like a clever pirate should.

Moving on to Jackie's bar in 1x03, Izzy gets more potentially useful observations / inspiration. Jackie is actually the first person in the series to make a deal with a naval power. Izzy and crew track the Revenge to the Spanish warship, which means they must see Geraldo sold out Stede to them. Izzy isn't stupid. He knows Geraldo and Spanish Jackie, knows that she's the brains and brawn behind this deal, and has seen enough of Stede that he'd absolutely believe that he did something to get Jackie pissed enough to plot his murder. File away Jackie wants Stede dead and details of how she nearly succeeded in offing him for later.

Izzy spends 1x05 up to the fuckery demonstration observing Stede's crew while waiting for Edward to pull the trigger. I definitely want to note the scene where they interrogate the Frenchman at the beginning of 1x05, because Izzy is staring directly at Stede as he leans away from Edward threatening violence (we know this will later be in his love montage so not actually a turn off, lol, but like... it looked like one). His opinion of the crew is that they like to fuck around without structure (1x05 during the party), probably that they enjoy more standard pirate levels of violence (not shown directly since they are kept out of the 1x05 raid, but fairly obvious), and that they are really easily awestruck by the chance to hear "real pirates" tell charismatic stories (1x06 ghost story).

Any of that sounding like someone we know?

And now to go back to Izzy in 1x06, when he gets sick of Edward being cagey about the plan to kill Stede and decides to "make" him stop stalling, he's straightforward again. Getting Ivan and Fang to back him isn't emotionally manipulative, but it does give him weight in the conversation. They are the ones who bring up the whole "love of a pet makes a man weak" thing, and they do it in the context of calling out hypocrisy. Izzy knows the standards Edward holds his crew to. He lets them convince Edward it's time.

Taking the chance to suggest Stede try a fuckery is a strong blend of situational and emotional manipulation, and later challenging him to a formal duel knowing he'd be overconfident enough to accept is more situational again. Even the terms of the duel are designed to take advantage of the situation. And then Izzy loses in the most comedy way possible, Edward lets him get banished, and Izzy decides that if he was ok with just sending Stede Bonnet on his way to fuck-off before... he's fucking gonna kill him now.

My guy is not a creative thinker, but he's definitely a logistical one. And as he rows away from that ship, all the pieces fall into place.

First, Spanish Jackie. Who listens to him bemoan his relationship woes because she likes him (Izzy gets Jackie in the divorce). Who wants Stede dead and has the clout to summon and deal with a distasteful ally - Chauncey. Together, they concoct an arrangement where a trap will be set and Chauncey gets Stede and only Stede. This isn't a tip-off or a free-for-all. Stede comes from Chauncey's world and they are sending him back. Permanently.

Then it's time for the trap itself, which needs to do two things: get the Revenge somewhere that Chauncey can corner it, and get Edward out of there. And Izzy? Izzy knows Edward. Knows there's one particular person in his past that will have no trouble integrating with the crew, getting Edward to act more like a pirate than a gentleman, and who happens to have a great ambush location on hand.

I've said this before but I'm gonna say it again - I don't think outside characters realize how hard and fast Edward is falling for Stede. The BlackBonnet bonding moments happen almost exclusively when they are alone. The place Izzy dramatically fails to manipulate the situation is not having the evidence he would need to predict Edward going back for Stede. He (and Jack) both think that a precise wedge between BlackBonnet - one that Jack delivers near flawlessly by playing into real issues - will be enough to remind Edward that Stede isn't his people. This isn't a plan to murder the love of Edward's life while his back is turned. It's a plan to get rid of Stede, and remind Edward why he was on board with doing that in the first place. "That's fair," Izzy says about a punch to the face.

Instead, Izzy's plot accidentally backs Edward into a corner and forces him to publicly pull a grand-gesture relationship level-up that he was not emotionally ready for, and the fallout from that explosion is way worse than any of our conspirators were counting on.

Still... you gotta admit. It was a really good plan.

[laceratedlamiaceae]

Top 10 sexiest moments in OFMD

but only one moment per character so it isn't all Izzy

[shivermewhiskerz]

Woah.... that pussy multicolored.....

[plantsjustwannahavefun]

Cjizzy for me is like. You know how you come home after a night out completely pissed and all of a sudden you're craving the greasiest, nastiest shit you can get your hands on? And then you find a slice of two day old pizza in your fridge. And it's exactly what you needed. In that moment, nothing else would do. Nothing has ever felt more right. You shove that thing in your mouth like it's your very last meal on this earth and enjoy a few moments of pure, unadulterated bliss before promptly passing out in bed.

The next morning, the very thought of that two day old pizza almost makes you puke. But there's no shame. No regrets. You know it's going to happen again. And you're totally fine with it. Because everything has its time and place, and even when most of the time it might be the last thing on your mind, every once in a while it's the best thing ever.

[edslacefront]

I want to hear that conversation between Izzy and Calico Jack so bad like how did he phrase "hey so I'm sicking the British on this fag who managed to become our Ex's new boy toy will u go get him out of there pls"

But no deadass I'm so curious about their dynamic actually god I want to see Captain Hornigolds crew back in the day so bad getting ungodly levels of wasted and commiting heinous crimes and having gross gay sex sorry

[ask-louis-bonnet]

good morning

@ask-calico-jack

[kleine-snowdrop]

I'm gonna need Izzy to move on with Frenchie and for Ed to be weird about it. Like super jealous but doesn't understand that he is or why. And then for Stede to be weird about that.

[sirtadcooper]

I can't be your wife, Jack. But⁠⁠—

[celluloidbroomcloset]

I keep coming back to the breakfast scene, re: Jack, and noting that I don’t think it’s Jack's intention for Ed to be ashamed. He’s working on pointing out Stede's inadequacies as a pirate and reminding Ed of the good old days, assuming that Ed will fall right into line next to him. He also assumes that someone as apparently delicate as Stede will be horrified by the burning people alive story (and we have to remember that Jack’s knowledge of Stede comes from Izzy, who definitely thinks Stede is effeminate and weak).

Jack's right in a sense—Stede is horrified, but it’s more about what he’s seeing as a part of Ed’s past and his struggle to reconcile that with the Ed he knows. He’s also questioning Ed’s honesty, since this was the man who said that he didn’t actually murder anyone. So there’s a whole layer going on between Stede and Ed that Jack isn’t and can’t be aware of.

But Ed’s reaction IS TO BE ASHAMED. I don’t know how his expressions throughout can be read any differently. This is not him having fun reminiscing, and his eventual excuse to Stede that “technically, the fire killed those guys” is weak and he knows it—he will not look at either Stede or Jack as he speaks. Jack is accidentally shaming Ed in front of Stede, under the assumption that Ed will see how Stede isn't a real pirate and will reject him. But it’s the start of Ed’s spiral into the fear that he is a monster, not good enough for Stede, and that Stede is already starting to see that.

You can’t read what happens later in the episode as independent of that scene. It’s not Ed’s slow realization that he’s outgrown Jack. It’s Ed trying to fit back into the mold that Jack and Izzy are constantly telling him is the only place he fits.

Throughout the early part of the episode, Ed is constantly switching back and forth between “it’s fine, I’m a pirate, Jack’s a pirate, we’re all pirates” and “I don’t want to be like this and Stede is seeing this and I’m not good enough for him.” Right from the start, he tries to rationalize away Jack’s behavior because he 1) sees it as hurtful (and apologizes to Stede for it) and 2) doesn’t want to see it as hurtful because he sees himself in Jack. He’s trying hold onto two things at once and isn’t able to reconcile them.

To say that Ed isn’t aware of what’s happening to some degree, and that the entire day with Jack only starts going wrong for him when Jack kills Karl, is to miss Ed’s character progression and the reveal of his deeper psychology. He leaves with Jack because of the shame that was developing right from the start, when they woke Stede up. He can’t hold onto the contradictions any longer and decides that he must be what Jack makes him out to be and it’s better for everyone if he abandons himself to that before Stede can reject him.

(Stede also shouldn’t have to stand around telling Ed that what he and Jack are doing isn’t hurtful, just in order to make Ed feel OK. What they’re doing is hurtful. It hurts Stede and it increasingly hurts the crew. Ed is absolutely participating in that and trying very hard to pretend that it’s all OK when he is increasingly aware that it isn’t. So when it all comes to a head, he sees all that he’s done and the pain he’s caused to someone he loves and he thinks that’s all he can ever do.)