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arcadejohn127-9 · 3 years

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Thank you so much for the kind words!! I appreciate it so much bro 🥲, I know I might be overdramatic and I’m being serious when I say this I’m just venting right now cause I am MADDDD, but let me spill the beans sis (do ppl still say that?)

my community or my town is known for being “accepting” bs though. Because when I came out as bisexual immediately i regretted it I started saying or thinking “I wish I was gay or straight” because the amount of biphobia I received from both lgbtq+ individuals and straight people is insane and I feel really weird about it because now I’m questioning my gender and I’m like people are going to see me as this weird “pick me person or that weird jellybean” and all these stereotypes. EVEN when I came out as gay I wasn’t “gay enough” or I didn’t fit stereotypes for my group and lgbtq+ friends, I didn’t dress or act the part and I’m not saying everyone is like this or the whole community is. I’m just stating on what I’ve experienced for both parties and I’m just really scared a little bit more when I came out as gay because it felt awful not being accepted by a community that was supposed to be an accepting and a safe place for me. When I came out as bi I shit you not. It was as if I was being pushed out and people started saying stuff about me like what you said and when I said I was gay again or it was a mistake “haha!! Sorry!! Just kidding April fools guys!!” I’m not joking I’m not lying when I say, “my Friends” and my “gay or lgbtq+ friends” welcomed me back with opens arms it was fucking awkward asf, pretending like they never said shit about me or never did shit to me. It really left this shitty feeling inside me. GODDAMN I LOVE SAYING SHIT 😩👉👌😤

yeah it’s been a really eventful(crush) couple of months but I just needed to rant sorry for venting and crap I really needed those words you said to me I just want to get out of this countryyyy😩

This is fucking cringey so unless you want to end up like gumball and hot dog guy stay🤺 back 🤺 BACK 🤺I SAY🤺 “The Amazing World of Gumball: Season 6, Episode 7”

But orange soda(crush) was like the sweetest, kindest, did I neurona sweet but she was the sweetest thing to me even when I came out they treated me the same and she stuck up for me and all this cute shit, they’re so cute LIKE ASDFHKKKK.O I swear to THE LORDDDD and they switch to this cutie to this BADDIEEE. Ahem excuse mwah for ranting about this absolute GODDESSS I just *sniff* can’t control the *hornky love* damn this is cringey. If you’ve read this far thank you for your time and hasta la vista baby 🔫🔫🕴🥷 ( I just wanna hold hands 😩😩😩🥲🥲)

Thank you for venting and I'm glad I could help even if it was small!

I get you, I thought I was straight for the majority of my life - liking women was my big shock and then turns out - it was the opposite because I'm a guy.

Play with gender, it's a construct anyway and even if you find that you're comfortable the sex you are and your gender - don't feel like you have to stick to the binary. Cis white rules of gender and sex don't apply to the LGBTQ+ community and also the fact people wanna stick to a sexist and colonized idea of gender is just WACK

Biphobia is bad, there's just so much ugh around it but I do gotta feel bad for lesbian's. I've been finding so many posts about how their treated and the conflicts they go with the bi community and it just really sucks.

Like highschool musical; we're all in this together.

Despite the biphobia I've experienced from straight girls, I'm very proud of my sexuality and I hope you get to be aswell. Anyone that blows steam up their own ass about being an ally or supportive to Everyone - most likely it's a scam. They claim to be so great for being a decent accepting human but they're the issue.

Like with truscum/transmeds

nothing wrong with believing in dysphoria and wanting/needing to medically transition - I have dysphoria and present my identity as very binary. It's okay to want to be cis with your gender or out of binary - it's all about what makes you comfortable!

I want to medically transition but when you start saying that's how to be trans, there's only one way to be trans and you must want to be cis and get all the surgeries and hormones. No! No you don't. And being non-binary is completely fine and valid!

We don't need cis straight approval and if they can't take a community seriously because they show new ideas and concepts to how sexuality and gender work - then you're the problem.

The way truscum trans people wanna see gender is the social norm, the usual way. The way people are comfortable with and will be more likely to accept. It's the colonized way of gender as there's plenty of non white cultures who have a whole different view on how gender and sexuality is.

Sorry I got so oofed with discussing trans stuff I know the topic is biphobia but it made me think about as fortunately I've experienced more hassle about my gender than my sexuality. No one should get any hassle from anyone because fuck off.

Hope everything goes well with your crush! They sound great!

#gamingclubpresident #aracadejohn217 9

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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

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Do you have any headcannons about other things Magnus invented? The tech ask got me thinking about how this man found a way to literally bend space-time to invent the portal so he probably made a bunch of other cool stuff

okay so first of all this ask is absolutely superior it’s so good and sexy and i love it to pieces. second of all, as with all my hc asks that i love to death, it took me so long to answer it, i’m so sorry odiajdoisajdoaisjj

but anyway YES. i love genius inventor magnus and it’s criminally underdiscussed tbh

first of all, i absolutely believe that magnus figured out a way to transition himself, like - he probably knew about his gender ever since he was a kid, and it’s not like he had a lot of options, so i totally hc that he just. learnt about it on its own. i mean if we go by sh canon that says that magic is a way to perceive the world, it makes sense. he can use it to be more attuned to his own body and slowly learn about how it works. as time goes by he starts to notice the substances that his body produces, their effects on it, and on each other, you know? and that’s how he discovers hormones and how they’re made and how to manipulate them, and so Magnus makes up a way to magically transition like that, which is better than glamours (which is what most trans warlocks/downworlders did, at least before they’ve been officially introduced to the community) because he’s actually changing his body for real. and it’s nice

like, is magnus the first to do this? probably not. but he does figure it all out on his own way before he meets other warlocks and such, so it’s still something that he invented and figured out on his own. plus once he does he probably gets to study what other warlocks have figured out about the subject and make his own contributions to bring what he has and what they know together, and that’s pretty nice

i know i’ve talked about this before but consider this: i wanted to say it again

on that topic! more magical transitioning stuff. with most downworlders having some kind of super healing stuff (and i guess shadowhunters too, with iratzes) i’ve always thought, like, what if they wanted to have surgery after they were Turned? would it grow back? i mean there’s also the fact that they can’t exactly roll into the hospital with their super different blood and want to have surgery, but you know, there’s also that

so i totally think magnus also invented a way to bypass this, because even if it doesn’t directly affect him, he feels for all the trans people who do want surgeries and can’t get it. so he figures out a potion/spell he can use to keep the healing at bay enough to perform surgery, and then kind of like. messes slightly with the magic so it recognizes the new, altered body as the original and doesn’t try to “heal” the boobs/dick back (or yeet them away) once it’s done. and it’s pretty damn revolutionary

i don’t think magnus himself would want surgery because i think his gender is culturally specific anyway and he’s comfortable with his body most of the time, and when he isn’t, he can use glamours. but he still cared enough to do that because that’s how he is

similar but not completely related, i think that magnus and cat were both present during the AIDS crisis, because like, i mean. downworlders with a healing specialty who are queer or close to queer people. and it definitely was a very. bad chapter in their lives with all the horrible things they had to witness and how long it took them, even with magic, to figure out what was causing that horrible disease, but i do think their contributions (and those of other warlocks) were vital to the discovery of the HIV virus and the current methods we have to deal with it

even if magnus will never forgive himself for taking so long to think of something when so many people were dying and he couldn’t even save freddie haha it’s fine i’m fine

also i mean with his specialty being healing magic he probably was a part in learning about and dealing with a good number of diseases, and figured out a lot of potions and spells in that field

he probably designed something to help vampires who are dealing with human blood cravings, cuz i mean - it can get pretty bad and it brings a lot of suffering, and magnus seemed to be very aware of the whole addiction process and stuff in the downworld when there was the whole yin fen plotline. also well his own son battled it (twice) so of course he’d get involved. it’s not by any means a solution because addiction has multiple causes which are mostly psychological and you can’t really battle it without tackling these causes, but still, he can at least bring people who are struggling some kind of relief before they go to a specialist (cuz there are probably lots of downworlders who specialize in that, i mean. many of them faced it)

oh also ways to detected newly Turned vamps and wolves so they can get to them fast and help them not go through it alone. i think he wouldn’t need it for warlocks because there’s that whole “i know dot is dead because i can’t feel her magic anymore” which implies that they know about every warlock individually so they would know when a warlock is born methinks. it’s also something that he’s tried to keep away from the clave as much as possible, for obvious reasons, but that can help them help out each other in times of need

(i just b like “here are all the ways that magnus helped improve the downworlder community” because 1- it’s canon and we stan; 2- it’s very him; 3- we deserved to see more of the downworlder community organization okay. like what, are they trying to tell us that they’ve all been watching each other suffer and go through these same problems and no one bothered to think of solutions for that? that makes no sense bro. people, especially marginalized people, want to make the world better for each other. in this essay i will-)

it’s also why Magnus is mostly known for the portal, because the clave and such don’t really consider his inventions “useful” because they’re mostly about improving life in the community, and not practical everyday shit like this. but he’s actually invented so much stuff and contributed so much to their society and knowledge okay

also something to cure allergies because he feels really bad for ppl who are allergic to cats lmao he’s the cutest idiot

probably quite a bit of magical sex toys because. well. hobbies. you know

okay that’s all i have methinks doiasjdoiajdsaoijdasj again thank you so much for this ask, i really loved answering it <3 i hope it was worth the wait lmao

#ask #stillintomalec #look at me using the pc and thus being able to use read more instead of having gigantic ass posts that bother everyone #magnus bane #trans magnus bane #dirty mention #meta #magnus bane meta #sh #shadowhunters #addiction tw #surgery tw #disease tw #death tw

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werevulvi · 4 years

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What's the difference(s?) between being GNC vs trans NB in your opinion??? I used to think they were very diff until i read about "you don't need dysphoria to be trans" discourse and also stories from dysphoric GNC ppl so is it like a matter of ideology?

There is a lot that goes into this, so this will be a very long reply... but yes, ideology is deeply soaked into it, although it's not only because of that, I think. So like, okay, first off, you probably know I come from a radfem perspective, but then I also take into consideration things that radfem in general may disagree with if I find it to be logical or making sense enough. So my opinions are more so rooted in what I personally think is logical and makes sense, as well as facts, which just so happens to mostly align with radfem, rather than being truly rooted in radfem.

That said, however, this particular topic is not so much based on scientific facts (as there's just not much established science to go on here) but more so on anecdotal evidence and my own logical conclusions of that.

Not sure where to start, but there are several different "ways" to "validate" the existence of nonbinary, if you feel ever so inclined. One is by understanding that a nonbinary person who's dysphoric has the same legitimacy to identify outside of the sex they were born as, as "binary" trans people, and if their dysphoria is atypical enough, that it also makes sense for them to not wanna identify as the opposite sex either.

That is probably the simplest way to view nonbinary as different from being gnc, by simply applying the same logic to them as you would to differentiate butch/masc women from trans men, or feminine men from trans women: their sex dysphoria is the defining factor, not how they dress/act.

And how to then differentiate nonbinary from "binary" trans, is that the nonbinary dysphoria is often atypical in nature. That generally means the person may be dysphoric about only some of their sex characteristics, but not all (for example a dysphoric nb may have discomfort towards their chest and voice, but not their genitals or their curves/lack of curves) - but it can also mean that the dysphoria is towards all of their sex characteristics but the desire is to look "sex neutral" instead of as the opposite sex. It can also be a combination of those. A third distinction is that their dysphoria may be fluctuating a lot. Like maybe they feel really uncomfortable with their sex for a certain amount of time, then love their bio sex, then again dysphoric. Basically any sex dysphoria that makes the person not feel like they "should" appear as the opposite sex entirely could be called atypical.

This is also NOT to say that "binary" trans people who opt out of for example genital surgery are nonbinary. It has to do with the intent/desire, what one's body would be ideally and how one interprets that ideal - not necessarily what they actually change with hormones/surgery in practice. Like for example there IS a difference between being okay with one's vagina and not wanting any surgery on it because neo-penis doesn't live up to one's desires, but still wishing they had an actual penis - and actually genuinely LOVING one's vagina and feeling strongly protective of keeping it as is, with no desire to have an actual penis, while still being dysphoric about other sexed aspects of one's body. However, that's also not saying trans men have to be dysphoric about their vaginas to count as "binary" - it has more to do with the individual's own interpretation of what their dysphoria means to them, and what being a man/woman/nonbinary means to them.

But there is more to it than that, which is what you call into question: the "you don't need dysphoria to be trans." This is where it gets tricky, anecdotal and a little whimsical.

Many are sceptical of that notion, however most nonbinary people are not. Ideology does absolutely go into this. The sceptical ones tend to be (or lean) transmedicalist/truscum, or in rarer cases radfem, while those who don't think you need dysphoria to be trans tend to be (or lean) tucute/sjw/libfem. And I too am more than just fairly sceptical of this... However, I have found one argument which I'm considering... plausible, for considering non-dysphoric trans to be a possibility.

That argument is: gender incongruence without marked distress.

This is where shit gets complicated, so I'll try to explain it as well as I can, and then you can make your own opinion on if there's any legitimacy to it, or look into it further if you wish. I'm not here to attempt to change your opinion in any way. I'm only sharing what made me reconsider the notion that dysphoria is necessary to be trans. What you do with that info, is entirely up to you, and I honestly don't even care about holding it against you, or anyone else, for that matter. I just wanted to clarify that, in case this comes off as me trying to shove a weird ass argument down your throat, as that is absolutely not my intention by any means. You're absolutely free to call bullshit on this.

Alright, before I dig into it, I first have to raise the question "what is gender/sex dysphoria?" and answer it: My understanding of what this type of dysphoria is, is that it's not only wishing your body looked different and to be read as the opposite sex (or both/neither sex) but it's categorised as marked distress/strong discomfort towards your body's sex. This is important, so try to remember that.

I used to think that's all there is to feeling like you're not capable/willing to live with your body/gender* as it is naturally. However, I then started talking to a few transsexual MtF's and FtM's who happily medically transitioned... without dysphoria, and their stories puzzled me, but they also intrigued me. Thus, I listened with an open mind.

(*I should probably explain my view on what gender is, but very briefly: I consider it a personal interpretation of one's experiences with anything gendered and/or sexed. So it's a subjective perception and personal conclusion, more so than a feeling, similar to how "feeling cold" regardless of actual temperature is perception and a conclusion of how your mind and body responds to the temperature, and not an actual feeling like happiness or anger, nor is it objective fact. "Gender" can also simply be "I wish I was male but in fact I'm female. Thus I intepret my gender as man" without even including gender norms at all, but literally only focusing on sex. I personally conclude my own gender by my bio sex and my sex characteristics (including transitioned/desired ones) only, but I also accept the former definition for others just fine.)

Then I started also analysing my own dysphoria and noticed that it's not really a one big solid thing happening, but different aspects that together make me come to the conclusion that "I'm not comfortable looking/being clearly female, I feel a deep internal desire to look/be partially male, thus transitioning is alluring to me."

Split apart it's more like this: 1.) The first aspect is a strong discomfort with certain aspects of being physically female (I mean in the past before I transitioned, to clarify.) 2.) The second aspect is a strong desire for those aspects of my body to instead be male (again, only applicable in the past tense, as those aspects of my body now are appearing male.) 3.) The third aspect is what is the social result of what my sexed body appears like, meaning people read me as a man or woman based on what sex my body looks like, which is a direct reminder of what I look like (negative pre-transition, positive post-transition.)

The third aspect is generally what's considered "social dysphoria" and generally is considered a result of physical/sex dysphoria, than a stand alone thing. Some disagree with this, however. Many trans people split their experience of dysphoria into "social" and "sex/physical" as it's very common to experience both. However, both the first and second (as listed above, to clarify) aspects are together what most people only recognise as simply "sex/physical dysphoria" without really paying attention to that there are TWO aspects of it. One which pushes you away from your actual sex, and the other which pulls you towards the opposite sex (or both/neither.)

And here's where shit gets interesting... What if a person only has one of those two aspects of physical/sex dysphoria?

Meaning, they either feel discomfort about their physical sex, but lack the desire to instead appear more like the opposite, or both/neither sex (just discomfort, no desire) - or they have the desire to appear like the opposite, both or neither sex, but lack the discomfort towards their actual physical sex (just desire, no discomfort.)

The former point, feeling discomfort without desire, arguably is not "really" gender dysphoria, but something more along the lines of body dysmorphia/poor body image. That, however, is only my personal, unprofessional opinion. As most shit I say is, lol.

That latter point, however: Having the desire to appear like the opposite, both or neither sex, but lacking the discomfort towards one's actual physical sex - is basically what is considered experiencing gender incongruence, but without actual dysphoria.

So then what is gender incongruence? Typically it's part of gender dysphoria as a whole: it being sex dysphoria, gender incongruence, social dysphoria, and if/when alleviated: gender euphoria. If you have all those aspects then it's not really important to consider the incongruence aspect separately. However, what gender incongruence is, is basically just feeling like you should be of the other sex (or both/neither.) So, it's basically just the "desire" aspect of what's generally considered the concept of "gender dysphoria" as a whole. Except, without distress... dysphoria is not dysphoria.

Whether it's actually possible to have gender incongruence without dysphoria, I think is very difficult to say. However, what I struggle to de-legitimise is: if someone is transitioned (especially medically) and happy with the result, but what drove them to transition in the first place was a desire without distress. So what I actually consider to be "trans" is not necessarily "dysphoric person" but rather anyone who is happily transitioned, or know they would be happier transitioned, regardless of what drives/drove them to transition in the first place - as well as dysphoric people who don't wish to transition and/or detransitioned.

One thing I find compelling about this "incongruence without dysphoria" argument is that this is not actually a new thing.

I spoke to an older trans man (in his 50's) who transitioned back in the 90's and said outright that he never experienced dysphoria, yet he's (by his own words) satisfied with his transition. He's a fairly known and I guess "famous" trans activist in Sweden, and also hangs out in the same fb group as me, apparently. So I exchanged a few words with him on the topic of dysphoria. Although he didn't call his experience "gender incongruence" that's kinda what he seemed to imply. I've also talked to an older trans woman who also transitioned decades ago and also firmly stated and explained she never experienced dysphoria, yet is happily transitioned. Then I've also heard the same sentiment from a few younger trans people.

But in total, I've heard about it from less than 5 trans people, and all I have is that anecdotal info.

But then the thing is that they were all medically transitioned. They "prove" to me that they're trans by simply being satisfied with their transitions. So whether they had dysphoria or not is not actually important in hindsight. What matters is that they're satisfied with how they changed their bodies. Because when it comes to most "non-dysphoric" nonbinary people out there, they don't even wish to transition medically at all. And that is different. Are all of them legitimate cases just like the "non-dysphoric" yet happily transitioned trans men and women I've talked to? No, probably not. I mean, let's be honest.

Nonbinary is (no matter how much a legit thing for some, also) a hype/trend and very many do absolutely try to identify out of misogyny, sexist gender norms, sexual trauma, etc, by picking up the nonbinary label. Some of them experience body discomfort vaguely related to their sex traits, but it's not actually gender dysphoria, or whatever it is, transitioning would probably not be the best solution for them. I think it's important to keep in mind that the culture around nonbinary identities is to not ever question their identities and that any kind of "invalidating" is considered a horrible hate crime, to them.

That attitude is a recipe for validating people who are not actually trans, but suffer from gender in other ways. And I don't think we should forget or dismiss that. I don't think there's much harm in them simply carrying a nonbinary label and some odd set of pronouns - but letting every single nonbinary identified person jump on hormones and surgery would be a very terrible idea, and when it comes to that identity specifically, I'd be VERY, very careful, as they seem more likely to disregard the possibly negative outcomes of medical transition and then end up devastated, as many of them disregard dysphoria, and often logic and reason altogether... where as "binary" trans people, although not at all without doubt and detrans rates, tend to be at least a little bit more careful and educated.

That said, however... I have heard from ONE nonbinary person who very nicely explained their experience of basically gender incongruence without dysphoria, and they were also happily medically transitioning. They were also older and seemed mature and emotionally stable. So, I'm at least open to the possibility that some nonbinary people can be satisfied with transition without gender dysphoria, and thus, I'd personally count them as trans. It's a youtuber so I could probably link that video in which they explained it, if I can find it from my huge playlist of "favourites" to which I'm pretty sure I added it. I found that video through Blaire White making a rant video about how the nb person was only transitioning for attention. Valid concern, but erh, I think she made an incorrect assertion, in that particular case.

Anyhow, I do worry that this whole argument of "incongruence without dysphoria" very easily becomes a slippery slope of... basically people transitioning for shits and giggles, or because they have a bad self image and just really badly hope the grass will be greener on the other side, which is why I'm still very hesitant to give it credit, and at this point I'm still only considering it plausible.

One thing worth noting is that some transmeds actually think that having incongruence without dysphoria counts as a form of dysphoria, but that is in fact not the medically established definition of gender dysphoria. "Dysphoria" in and of itself literally means "abnormal depression and discontent" so taking the distress aspect out of gender dysphoria is going against its very definition. So that's quite some intellectual dishonesty, that some transmeds are willing to admit that some trans people don't have dysphoria, but without actually admitting it, because that would go against their ideology.

I also think that it's foolish to say that every trans person who is happily transitioned "must" have been dysphoric, because we can't actually know that. We have not actually heard every single trans person's reason for why they transitioned. We can only assume that it was probably because of dysphoria, because that is the (most, or only) logical reason for wanting to transition in the first place, and for being satisfied with one's transition in the long run. That is not enough to make the claim that ALL happily transitioned trans people MUST have experienced dysphoria, which means there is and always has been a possibility that you may not actually need dysphoria to be trans, even if it's the most common reason.

I think it's important to at least be open to listen to especially happily transitioned people's experiences when they don't align with our beliefs on what makes someone trans. They might be wrong about what their inner experiences with gender actually mean (as in they might have had dysphoria but were unaware that's what their experience was, or they might not actually be all that happy with having transitioned) - and we might be wrong about that gender dysphoria being the only thing that could make a person satisfied with transition.

So like... keep using those critical thinking skills, even after you think you know the truth ;)

Have I really answered your question, though? I'm not sure, but basically: trans nb generally means that your self-interpretation of your gendered experience as a whole (meaning how you RELATE to being male/female, feminine/masculine, considered a man/woman, etc, not if you are gnc per se) does not match your own interpretation of what it means to be either "fully" a man or "fully" a woman. Which is what gets watered down to the chanted phrase "nb means not identifying as either fully male or female."

So, how is that different from just being gnc? In some cases, it actually isn't. Some really do think that rejecting gender norms is what makes them nb, and in those cases, I won't personally consider them trans or truly nonbinary. But what matters (I think) is that there are also nb people who base it on sex dysphoria, and/or gender incongruence as thoroughly explained above, and I think there is at least some legitimacy to those reasons.

Then how gnc gets in the picture for those latter two reasons is pretty simple: For the same reason most trans men are masculine: to more easily blend in among men in society, as masculinity can in some cases help with passuing as male when you're female (and vice versa for femininity and passing as female for males.) That is sadly due to the reinforcement of masculinity as being "intended for men" and femininity as being "intended for women" which causes many people to subconsciously connect femininity with femaleness and masculinity with maleness, and many also confuse those things.

Ever heard a woman say that her having breasts is a "feminine" trait, for example? Yeah, no, it's not. That's her confusing femininity for what's actually a female trait. However, having large breasts can be considered "more feminine" than having small or no breasts, due to how society views gender, but that does not mean that large-breasted females are inherently "more feminine" than small-breasted ones, or those who don't have breasts, because that's really just a natural variation of femaleness.

That's an example of how femaleness easily gets blurred with femininity, and vice versa masculinity gets equally blurred with maleness, with for example beards and deep voices. Because the feminine and masculine archetypes do also include certain female and male body types. This is why I view my transitioned features from testosterone as male features rather than as masculine ones, because I can more easily differentiate what is SEXED from what's GENDERED, than probably most people, mostly due to my rather unusual upbringing. Thus, "binary" trans people can take advantage of that societal confusion and blur the lines between being perceived as masculine vs male (or feminine vs female for MtF) because the gender norms are so ingrained. Of course it doesn't always work in favour for trans people (hence non-passing trans men being seen as butches, and trans women seen as drag queens) but it CAN fool the eye to some extent.

Then, as for nonbinary people and androgynous gender expression: androgyny has often, historically been confused with... well, I may fail to put this delicately, but yeah basically having certain intersex conditions, which have been poorly understood throughout history as "hermaphrodites" and other harmful shit. Androgyny, meaning a combination of feminine and masculine, can thus be used to a nonbinary person's advantage (at least in theory) to attempt to confuse others to see them as either a combination of male and female (similar to false representations of certain intersex conditions, which I want for everyone to know that I absolutely abhor) or as sexless, basically.

(Just a sidenote for clarification of gnc: being "gnc" is in and of itself a form of androgyny, in either the combination of "feminine + masculine" or "feminine + male" or "masculine + female" but when it comes to binary vs nonbinary types of gender expression, I think it's important to differentiate the degree of gender non-conformity being expressed. I vaguely differentiate "androgynous" from "fem male" and "masc female" here and I hope you know what I mean. It's not to make more unnecessary boxes, but just for the sake of argument. Kinda like a gnc lesbian is not necessarily a butch, but a butch is definitely a gnc lesbian, if that makes sense.)

Does androgyny have that same "confusion effect" as masculinity and femininity, though? Not really, in practice. Fewer are fooled by it, largely because "androgynous agender/bigender" (neither gender/both genders) is not an established social gender category like "feminine woman" and "masculine man" are, but is more like a fantasy concept. Also most people will automatically want to figure out if someone is male or female, which makes it extra hard for nb people to actually be viewed as... not that. So "androgyny as expression for sexlessness/both sexes at once" mostly only works in theory, but that is (or can be) the intent behind a nonbinary person's androgynous style, as it can still offer some mental relief even if the outcome is sadly not aligned with the intent.

(Metaphor time: You know, like sometimes I wanna bake a nice looking cake, but it turns out looking like sad poop, but that's okay, because it still tastes good. Meaning, the outcome didn't match my intent, but the outcome was still good enough to enjoy.)

So basically: trans nb people may not be nb because they're gnc, but be gnc because they're nb. Just like many trans men tend to be masc because they're ftm, not ftm because they're masc. So the difference between gnc and nb is in the intent. I think that's the best way I can explain that distinction.

(Also last sidenote: anyone reading this transitioning because you're masc/fem/gnc... PLEASE reconsider that, I urge you!)

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abysmal-apathy · 6 years

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If you don't want to transition, then you're a crossdresser. But don't go on terf blogs calling our lifesaving medical treatment forced sterilization bc you want to be another gender on your say so alone. If enough trans ppl call voluntary transition "forced sterilization" what's to stop the cis medical gatekeeping from getting even worse to save us from ourselves? Honestly you can go fuck yourself.

Holy fuck are you hilarious anon.

Firstly, some trans people cannot transition due to costs or their physical/mental health. Still trans. Also, big assumption you’re making about clothes (It’s 2018 and totally legal for girls to wear pants). Someone could not want to medically transition because:

They don’t have a gender to transition to

They have multiple genders and sometimes enjoy their current form

They want to piss off truscum

They literally give 0 fucks about what cis people think

They already pass, and therefore, don’t find the need

Honestly there are way more that I’m missing but you get the gist

In addition to my previous point, surgery and hormones are not all there is to transitioning. Presenting as your gender and going by your pronouns are some of the first steps to transitioning. This may come as a shock to you (considering the statistics showing trans people being more happy when we’re accepted), but not being misgendered and mistreated and being respected for our gender actually does a whole lot to reduce dysphoria.

Second, I was never on any TERF blogs, I love myself enough to not do that. I was just checking out the replies to a post and saw some absolute bullshit.

Also, you discarded paper napkin, both I and the OP of the post were talking about how countries legally require trans individuals to get sterilized if they want to medically transition. How the fuck did ya miss that, dingus?

If you weren’t sure of my claims, you could’ve just used Google or any other search engine to find:

Article after article on the subject

And those are just a few of the results that stuck out for me on the first page. Yeah, some of them are about that policy changing, but you know what that doesn’t do? Allow the people already affected to ever have biological children.

And, “save us from ourselves”? Please, Anon, you are literally killing me with this. Who in high heavens do you think writes these laws and partakes in medical gatekeeping? Who misgenders trans people and reduces us to our birth assignment? Who forces us out of communities and homes blames us for being different? I certainly haven’t done that. I dunno about you tho.

Oh, and I hope you get to go fuck yourself, too! Have a pleasant day!

PS: Gender is fake, anyways and the effects, consequences and influence of gender are all societal!

#Anon #Anonymous #TERFs #misgendering #transgender #links #forced sterilization #truscum #swearing #laugh rule

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jaewanchan-blog · 7 years

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92 truths tag

Rules: answer these 92 questions and tag 20 people.: i don’t have 20 ppl. Also i can only tag the ones who tagged me so.. is stoopid to tag em again right

THE LAST: 1. Drink: tea 2. Phone call: mom 3. Text message: mom 4. Song you listened to: emotional/sad anime soundtracks on YouTube 5. Time you cried: a few days ago

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nein 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Ja 8. Been cheated on: nope 9. Lost someone special: no 10. Been depressed: yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: White, light version of everything

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes. I call them freunds 16. Fallen out of love: no? 17. Laughed until you cried: yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: i try not to find these things out 19. Met someone who changed you: The only person who ever changed me was myself 20. Found out who your friends are: I already knew 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: pretty much all of them? 23. Do you have any pets: a doggo i haven’t met in 5 years.. in Iran :( 24. Do you want to change your name: Nah 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: my mom bought a smoll cake for me. Didn’t get any presents tho :( 26. What time did you wake up: 10 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: studying (don’t kill me charlie) 28. Name something you can’t wait for: JAPAAAAAN 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 2 sec ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my hormones (more dopamine needed) also. My laziness 31. What are you listening right now: I told u sad anime soundtracks! 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nein 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: academic Dutch, difficult university books in academic Dutch :( 34. Most visited Website: YouTube

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: 1 on a toe 1 on my chest 36. Mark/s: no 37. Childhood dream: to have a freaking barbie house which i never got. Parenting lol 38. Haircolor: dark brown 39. Long or short hair: long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: my bf? 41. What do you like about yourself: I’m never satisfied with myself so 42. Piercings: ears only 43. Bloodtype: O+ 44. Nickname: Sari 45. Relationship status: in a long distance relationship :s 46. Zodiac: Capricorn 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: GOT, detective genre series, also goblin, and a few other dramas i don’t remember. 49. Tattoos: no 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: yes on my face (got a scar still) 52. Hair dyed in different color: never did :( 53. Sport: used to play volleyball 55. Vacation: everywhere I can ( I’d love to go to Japan, Korea, Taiwan, China) 56. Pair of trainers: don’t have any

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: everything good i find 58. Drinking: coffee, tea 59. I’m about to: study 61. Waiting for: my visa 62. Want: to pass, money 63. Get married: one day 64. Career: i wanna travel around as an interpreter ^^

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: lips 67. Shorter or taller: toll 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms and hands 71. Sensitive or loud: i hate loud ppl 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: bold

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nein 75. Drank hard liquor: yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yes 77. Turned someone down: ha ha .. many 78. Sex in the first date: tf? 79. Broken someone’s heart: yes i assume 80. Had your heart broken: no 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: no but i cried imagining someone dying lol 83. Fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: then who else. Or should i wait for god lol 85. Miracles: never happened to me. 86. Love at first sight: if jeahwan counts 87. Santa Claus: -_- 88. Kiss in the first date: depends ? 89. Angels: doggos exist yes

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: @byeolbit Charlie @matchakyeon Saaaarah others don’t have tumblr 91. Eyecolor: brown 92. Favorite movie: maaaaany many movies

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soft-jihoonie · 7 years

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RULES: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by @kseokjiin

name: Catrin blood type: I have no idea, is this a thing people are meant to know? nickname(s): Cat, smutlord, slutlord (just don’t ask about those two, it’s a network thing) r/s: Forever single zodiac sign: Leo pronouns: She/her favorite tv shows: Daredevil, Goblin, Knowing Brothers

long or short hair: Long height: 5"3 I think do you have a crush on someone: Nah what do you like about yourself: My shoulder muscles are pretty nicely developed right or left handed: Right list of three favourite colors: Purple, Black, Dark blue

RIGHT NOW

 eating: Chocolate  drinking: Nothing i’m about to: Possibly write some more of the chanbaek fic I'm working on  listening to: War of Hormone - BTS  kids: I don’t really want kids but if I do have them I'd want to adopt get married: I’m not fussed tbh career: I work at a circus in Tasmania and I fucking love it at the moment

MOST RECENT

drink: Lemonade phone call: Probably my boss song you listened to: Of the night - Bastille

HAVE YOU EVER

dated someone twice: Nope been cheated on: Nah kissed someone and regretted it: Definitely  lost someone special: Yes  been depressed: I guess been drunk and thrown up: Unfortunately yes  kissed a stranger: Yeah had glasses or contacts: Nope had sex on the first date: No  broken someone’s heart: Tbh it wouldn’t surprise me if I had  turned someone down: Yep cried when someone died: Yeah  fallen for a friend: Yeah

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

made a new friend: Yes Fallen out of Love: Nah  laughed until you cried: Yep met someone who changed you: Nah found out who your true friends were: Yeah found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so  kissed someone on your fb list: Nah

WHICH IS BETTER:

lips or eyes: Eyes hugs or kisses: Hugs shorter or taller: Taller romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous sensitive or loud: Sensitive hookup or relationship: rn probably hookup troublemaker or hesitant: Like in between maybe?

FIRST

best friend: Martha (known her since we were babies surgery: I had a black spot cut off my arm because they thought it might have been cancer sport i joined: Gymnastics vacation: Uhm either Andorra or Disneyland Paris

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

yourself: Nah mate  miracles: Not really love at first sight: Lol no heaven: Well I believe in hell so I guess so

EXTRAS

how many people from your fb list do you know irl: I guess like 60% do you have any pets: Yeah, two cats back home do you want to change your name: Definitely what did you do for your last birthday: I went out for lunch with my mum and then dinner with my mum and dad when he finished work what time did you wake up today: Like 8am what were you doing last night at midnight: I think I was writing something you can’t wait for: Honestly? My flight back home in 3 months last time you saw your mom: In February at the airport what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Probably my lack of friends in the country I'm currently living in have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yep what’s getting on your nerves: Tbh, my boss keeps bugging me to go out and explore Tasmania and I'm just like why would I when I have no one to go with

i’m tagging: @rninyoonqi @mystarsandmoonhao @jimintensify @jamieprotectionsquad @hoseokxx @flowerchildchim @agustdia @sugasboy @aegyongi @mochikissme @xingxing-boazi @miny93ngi @taeandsugakookies @sondersuga @minhollydays @safesins (honestly I can’t be bothered tagging 25 ppl so if u see this and want to do it then u can say I tagged u)

#tag game

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apokine · 7 years

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Anna told me to do the whole thing so here we are I guess

How did you choose your name? IDK I just wanted to still have a name that wasn’t like ~weird~ but still unique

What gives you the most dysphoria? (Acknowledging that not all trans people experience dysphoria) even tho I got my tiddies removed i still feel kinda weird abt my chest if i’m not wearing a top lol…also a weird one but lipstick

Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria? social maybe? it’s just sort of there all the time so

What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric? what i always do when im feelin down - EAT LOTS OF FOOD

What was the first time you suspected you were transgender? uhhh i think the first time i suspected it as a like TANGIBLE THOUGHT was this one time when i was out w/ friends and had to go to the bathroom and i absolutely had an epiphany in the bathroom that i wasn’t a girl hahahahaha

When did you realize you were transgender? idk how this is different from the last one and i dont rly remember when it was that i like officially stopped thinking of myself as a girl

What is your favorite part of being transgender? other trans ppl probably. stay awesome, trans peeps

How would you explain your gender identity to others? mostly genderless, but i fluctuate around

How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed? im out w/ family/friends, who all found out in diff ways i guess? some ppl i just told, i also wrote stuff on tumblr & fb about it

What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been? no experience with either lol

What are your experiences with binding or tucking? binding sucked haha i defo wore my binder way more than i should have and got that Big Back Pain so i eventually mostly stopped and then got my bops chopped off

Do you pass? nahhh (is it even possible to pass as nonbinary??? question for another day)

What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition? got top surgery, idk abt hormones cuz i dont see myself as transmasc and am not interested in looking Very Masculine but i would like to look Less Feminine

How long have you been out? uhhhhhhh year a half maybe???????

What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set? none, tho i wouldnt say i’m particularly ‘settled’ haha

Have you ever experienced transphobia? sure have

What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public? usually the women’s restroom, sometimes mens if it is more convenient

How does your family feel about your trans identity? mixed reviews lol, some of my family is super supportive, some of them are like “why are you doing this” etc

Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth? i mean i guess i’m stealth at work bc i worry abt my job

What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans? i wish that younger me just knew there were options i suppose

Why do you use the pronouns you use? I use they/them bc she/he felt too gendered for me and neopronouns just sound too strange to me personally. I respect and admire anybody that uses neopronouns bc those ppl are paving the way for future generations to have more options that are normalized tho. I just can’t do it myself cuz I have a big fear of standing out which is totally at odds with like everything I wanna be lol

Do your neurodivergencies affect your gender? i dont think so but who fuckin knows

What’s your biggest trans-related fear? NOBODY’S EVER GONNA LOVE ME

What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition? i feel like this has already been covered by previous questions

What do you wish cis people understood? that my gender isnt anybody’s business!! who cares!!

What impact has being trans affected your life? idk honestly. dont know where to even begin trying to measure that

What do you do to validate yourself? well sometimes i like to argue with strangers on the internet

How do you feel about trans representation in media? i love the increasing representation in the media and it makes me very happy to see being trans normalized and validated, but obviously there still just isnt enough good representation

Who is your favorite trans celebrity? angel haze maybe

Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most? hmmm well i think that trans people i know irl are the ones who have given me the most courage. when i see other people come out or change their name or use they/them pronouns or WHATEVER i’m like “wow if they can do it i can too”.

How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online? i wouldnt say im really involved w the community in any way aside from just being present here on tungle dot com

How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years? pretty much the same

What trans issue are you most passionate about? affordable & accessible healthcare!!!

What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them? hey buddy i did it (am doing it?) and so can you

How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality? i feel like skinny white androgynous ppl are the ‘default’ nonbinary ppl which sucks. i esp feel the weight thing bc i feel like it really prevents me from being seen the way i want to be seen. on the class front, i feel fortunate that can afford surgery and whatever else i need

What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression? i feel like my gender expression is super feminine to other people. but to me i feel like my expression is pretty much aligned w/ my identity

Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither? neither

What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it? sexual - idk i think i need somebody to figure it out and tell me. don’t really feel like labeling it right now, but sex is just not big for me. romantic - panromantic cuz i just like everybody. somehow much easier to figure out than my sexual orientation

Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference? no preference tho if theyre cis they better not be a douchebag about it

How did/do you manage waiting to transition? honestly i’m a huge procrastinator LOLLL. as long as i keep telling myself ‘haha yeah it’ll happen eventually’ i’m just like ‘cool so i dont have to do it NOW…’ as long as i have the knowledge that it WILL happen im like..i can wait. If I think abt the possibility that it might not happen I freak the fuck out…for a bit I thought it might not be possible for me to get top surgery (due to medical issues) and I was in panic mode.

What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things? idk i guess i learned a lot on tumbles

Do you interact with other trans people IRL? not super often, i mostly know trans ppl that are just like acquaintances or casual friends. our interaction is limited to liking each others instagram or facebook posts lol

Are you involved in any trans-related activism? nah tho i think it’d be cool

Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer. i refuse to make up my own question

#gender schmender

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