#I love that seojun is out here putting his heart on the line and getting trampled on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tearsona · 3 years

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true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part nine

a/n: omg long a/n but first of all, this is waaaay overdue. i know i’ve already probably lost more than half of my readers but this is for the remaining few (and me) who would like to know how the story ends!! i’m going tbh, i procrastinated writing this for way too long (i’ve been enjoying my break too much), and the worst also happened, i was working on this but the whole thing got deleted so this is my second time writing the whole thing rip :[

anyway i decided this last minute but as it turns out, there will be a part 10, more like a second part to part 9 / epilogue, bc the rest was supposed to be included in here buuuut i’m going to be away for the rest of the week and won’t be able to continue writing the rest of the scenes so the only time to post is now, since i know ppl have been waiting too long for an update and i didn’t want to keep that any longer (i know id only be stressing over it the whole week if i did jsdkf). so this one and the next part are going to be super duper short but i promise to work on the last as soon as i get back ok!! it won’t take another month!!! lol.

part one | part eight

this is the right thing to do, you think.

no, you’re certain. you’re going to talk to him.

you’re going to confess to seojun tonight. soon. in a few minutes. in a few steps ahead, to the left…

your hands start to get clammy in your pockets. you feel the weight of dread on your feet, like lead.

because even though you’re sure this is the best decision, it doesn’t mean that you’re coming home with a smile on your face afterwards. in a few months, perhaps you’ll thank yourself for having done the right thing, but tonight, it’s not going to feel like so. tonight, you’re going to get your heart broken. even more than it’s already been.

after all, you’re here to get rejected… and only then you’ll be able to move on - when you’re finally rid of the what if that’s been nagging at you for so long. because you realized it wasn’t jealousy or the wanting reciprocation that made your one-sided love so frustrating, it was mainly the suppression, the constant urge to spit it out knowing you couldn’t, that had built up through time and eventually pushed you to make such mistake. after all, feelings are like the weather - sometimes calm, sometimes wild, intense. unpredictable. what happens when you try to force them still and locked in the cramped space of your heart for too long?

at most, you think you can handle the rejection. but going through a conversation that would finally cement the end of your friendship, hearing seojun tell you how much he hates you, that you’re a terrible person, or anything along those lines - will you be able to bear it?

because isn’t that what he’d asked to meet you for? to express his anger towards you? to get closure? especially since it’s been a month without talking - you know that that much time apart allows a lot of space for anything, like regrets, breakdowns, and kissing other people… or seojun finally realizing that he deserves better than you.

but there’s no running away though, because you’ve already agreed to meet with him, and you owe him to at least show up after having practically ghosted him. you’re doing it, but also not just because you need to - you’d be lying if you said that there wasn’t even a tiny bit in you that’s looking forward to talk to him, not a selfish part that’s silently hoping for the zero chance that the boy would be willing to put all of this behind for a chance to restart.

when you reach the place, seojun is already there like he said, but he fails to hear your footsteps over his thoughts. you pause at a distance, allowing yourself a while to stare at him and a bittersweet smile tugs at your lips as you do so. you try to let it sink in - seojun waiting for you here… you and him, sharing the same space, un-against your will, not actively avoiding each other like it hasn’t been for the longest time. you wish you could have a longer moment where you can pretend that the past few weeks never happened at all and, right now, you’re just two best friends casually meeting up on a friday night.

you swallow the lump in your throat when the moment is over.

but before you can even gather the courage to make another step, seojun finally takes notice of your presence. when your eyes meet, you see the mild surprise that flits across his face before he’s pushing himself off the bench almost abruptly. he wonders how long you’ve been standing there.

you lumber towards his spot.

“hey,” you greet faintly once you’ve stopped in front of him. “you wanted to talk…”

the tension that immediately fills the air is thick, just a slight bit nauseating. you look up at him apprehensively and brace yourself for it - it’s only a matter of seconds before the harsh words come out of his mouth. before he confirms all of your expectations.

but it doesn’t come.

suddenly, instead, you feel yourself getting tugged by the arm until seojun is engulfing your smaller frame in his, and immediately your body goes stiff. ultimately, his scent washes over you like a wave, permeating all of your senses and clouding your brain. you almost blurt out an i love you right there, under the influence of his cologne alone.

when your brain has somewhat unscrambled itself, you finally lift your hand to rest on his back in an awkward attempt to reciprocate, causing him to tighten his embrace. he moves one of his hands to cradle the back of your head - an innocent gesture that has your mind spinning. you can feel his heart hammering against both your chests but it’s easy to mistake it as your own when it’s doing the same; in fact, you almost fail to catch his next words over the roaring of your own heartbeat in your ears.

“i miss you,” he mutters; the deepness of his voice and the way his throat vibrates against your shoulder send shivers down your spine. however, you try to focus more on his words - you debate whether you’ve heard it wrong or not as you can hardly believe it; this is obviously the opposite of what you’d been expecting this whole time, and even different from what you’d been used to - hugs were a rarity in your friendship. as well as i miss you’s.

seojun. misses. you.

your eyes sting but you will yourself to hold back. because you’d been so in denial, you never realized just how much you’d been waiting to hear those words during the past month. you’d convinced yourself that you were thankful he’d never called you once in your time apart because it made your situation easier, but deep down it hurt that he wasn’t even trying.

you immediately miss the warmth when he pulls away.

“y/n,” seojun breathes, looking at you with eyes so apologetic you almost feel pity. it takes a few more seconds before he speaks again. “i’m sorry… i realized i was such a terrible friend to you. i—”

“i’m sorry i made you feel like you were a terrible friend,” you immediately cut off, much to his surprise. you couldn’t stand to listen to him apologize when you believe with your whole chest that everything has been your fault. but just like you, this isn’t what seojun had seen coming from the other. truthfully, he’d expected you to be unforgiving, mad like you had been that night. instead, you add, “you’d done nothing wrong…”

you walk past him to take a seat on the bench that he was previously sitting on and he follows. silence lingers in the air for a few moments, both eyes now settled in front rather than the other beside. there’s so much to say that you don’t know where to begin, but you don’t feel the pressure or rush to do so. in fact, you feel a sense of familiar comfort just from sitting next to each other, despite there still being a bunch of words to be said.

words that could still possibly ruin the hopes of rekindling your friendship, you think.

“i didn’t know what you were going through…” seojun says, breaking your train of thought, “i could’ve helped you get the job… i should’ve paid more attention or asked how you were. i get why you were so disappointed. i’m sorry.”

“don’t be, it’s not your fault,” you say earnestly. seojun turns to you but you have your eyes pinned to the ground, feeling the guilt in your chest rise further the more he blames himself. it seems you’d caused him to believe that he wasn’t a good enough friend and you hate yourself for that. maybe you’d rather him be mad at you than sorry after all. you’d left your friendship thinking it would be for the better, managed to convince yourself that you were only putting yourself first as you should, but in reality, you’d handled things so cowardly that it only ended up hurting the both of you.

“how were you supposed to know about it when i never shared anything? you’re not a mind reader, seojun. don’t beat yourself up over it… i mean it,” you say, turning to him with a look of sincerity, “i was going through a lot then, but it was wrong to take it out on you. you were a great friend though. i promise.”

seojun presses his lips together in a line, feeling his heart swell at your words. “still,” he insists, “i could’ve been better, i know it. and i was insensitive with the things i said. i hurt your feelings. but i didn’t mean them that way - i didn’t mean to imply you were unlikable. or unattractive. at all. i… i don’t think you are. i want you to know that.”

you wish the butterflies in your stomach would stop fluttering at such an inappropriate time. over the bare minimum too. and so what if seojun just said that he didn’t think you were unattractive? it doesn’t mean anything. wait ‘til you get rejected later.

“i got defensive, i didn’t understand why at that time, i don’t want to make excuses but… i guess i just didn’t want to entertain the thought of—” seojun swallows, eyes previously settled below lifting to meet yours again with somewhat a hopeful look, “—suho liking you.”

you frown at his last words in particular, feeling just a bit embarrassed over it while failing to get what he was trying to hint at. you really hadn’t meant to make suho a big deal that night, you’d merely been trying to get your point across at that time, but it could have been anyone. and after what had occurred between you and the other boy, hearing the words suho and liking and you altogether in one sentence just felt awkward.

“okay,” you reply quietly. but seojun doesn’t think you really understood it the way he’d meant it; he wants to tell you, that the reason why he didn’t like the idea of suho liking you isn’t the one that he knows you’re thinking - just the obvious that he carries a lot of bitter feelings towards the boy - but another. however, even at this time where he’s supposed to be honest about everything he feels concerning your friendship, even at this perfect opportunity, he still can’t seem to have the guts to tell you the words that his heart wants to say the most. mainly because he just realized that he has no idea how things currently are between you and suho, and confessing might just end up making things more complicated. he wrestles with the thought.

seojun immediately thinks about the kiss, and it feels as though someone’s fist had clenched around his heart - it happens every time. but it only gets worse upon hearing your next words: “it’s okay, you know, even if you really didn’t. see me that way, i mean. friends aren’t supposed to anyway.”

“right,” he mutters, disappointment evident in the way he drops his gaze to his lap from yours. it’s as if the wind had blown the words straight back down from the tip of his tongue to his chest, because he no longer feels like saying it, at all. in fact, he’ll bury it there if he must, if it meant he could at least go back to being friends with you again. just like he’s done in the past.

“i broke that rule though,” you say after the dragged silence, as calmly as you can, as if your stomach isn’t currently twisting in knots over what you’re about to say next. “seojun, i got mad at you because… i liked you.”

as you expected, seojun’s head snaps up over the admission. you begin to feel even more self-conscious now that you’re under his gaze, but you will yourself not to let your nerves get the best of you and continue what you’ve started. “i liked you and i got… jealous because you kept talking about the girl you liked right in front of my face, and it was just… i was already having a bad week - bad night, and one thing kept piling into another… the makeup, the job, and then just… i couldn’t take it anymore, when you talked about suho only seeing me as a friend, i knew you said that because that was how you saw me… and it just hit, i guess.”

when you finish, you find that seojun’s lips are parted slightly, eyes wide and blinking like he’s unable to fathom what you’d just said. twice, he opens his mouth to say something just to swallow it back down. it seems that he’s hesitating over his words, or having trouble finding them. eventually though, he manages to let out, “you liked me?”

you bite your lip and hum, “i like you. present tense,” you say slowly, enunciating every syllable whilst keeping your eyes fixated on him for the reaction. he looks stunned still, and though his expression says a lot, the lack of verbal response still keeps whatever’s actually going on in his mind unclear. you feel flustered and drop your gaze to your fidgeting hands at once.

your heart doesn’t stop pounding as though it wants to break out of your ribcage but you manage to say the next words without your voice shaking so much. “when they asked you to pick between love and friendship during that trip, i think that’s when it started going bad. before then, i’d thought i had a firm grip on my feelings. i mean, even through all the people you’ve dated i was fine,” you sigh, closing your eyes for a second longer, “i didn’t just start ignoring you because i was mad at you. i just thought it would be better if… if we weren’t friends. even though i ended up being wrong anyway.”

at this point, you can’t bring yourself to look at him anymore so you don’t, but as you’re waiting for him to say something, anything, you can’t help but be highly aware of his eyes boring into your cheek and it makes you ill at ease. you mentally shudder at the fact that you’d just overshared, but you’re not sure if you regret it completely. still, it takes him an agonizing minute before he responds that you almost lose your mind.

“why didn’t you tell me?” he prompts; you attempt to interpret the color in his tone but can’t, thankfully when you look at him he doesn’t seem to be judging you. instead, his eyes remain intense but gentle, and you allow yourself to relax just a little bit at that.

“for the same reason why most people can’t tell their crushes they like them. i’m sure you know what it’s like,” you chuckle sheepishly. somehow, calling seojun a crush is even more embarrassing than all of what you’d said so far before it combined. “i’m not that bold, you know. and i didn’t to want make you uncomfortable just ‘cause you couldn’t like me the way i did, and risk our friendship changing,” you explain truthfully, “but i guess i still ended up ruining it anyway, i still couldn’t bring myself to tell you in the end and just… ran away from it, sorry.”

seojun nods, but now the expression on his face has changed into something more unreadable, and you hate every second that ticks by knowing that he’s probably feeling guilty, perhaps trying to come up with words to let you down without hurting you. what he doesn’t know though is that you’ve already prepared yourself for it; you’ve already imagined every horrible scene that could possibly roll out while on your way here, and the fact that he hasn’t called you mean things or yelled at your face even once means this is already the best scenario out of them all, meaning you’ll be alright. with that, you amend, “i don’t want you to feel bad for me. i’m just doing this so you can reject me and i can move on.”

you swear that was a smile on his face just now. unfortunately, it disappeared quicker than you could make sure.

“what if i don’t want you to move on though?” seojun asks with a playful edge in his tone, elbow lightly nudging your side but it doesn’t touch because you’re a little bit too far apart. further, he prods, “what if i want you to keep liking me?”

you stare at him incredulously, trying to decipher him. it seems that he’s finally changing back to his more confident self - to the best friend you knew. perhaps he’s trying to alleviate the tense atmosphere into something more cheerful, make you feel less embarrassed; or maybe joking is his attempt at reassuring you that things can still be friendly between you two despite how you feel about him; and you appreciate that - you’re more than relieved to know that he’s fine with all of this - but you wonder if teasing you is the best response he can do to your confession; if he’s avoiding rejecting you because he can’t.

you try to hide your disappointment by huffing out a laugh, “you’re cruel like that?”

“hmm, well…” he muses, “earlier you said you couldn’t tell me your feelings sooner because you didn’t want to make me uncomfortable but…” he pauses, and you watch him dubiously as he slides himself closer until your arms are touching, “what if i liked you back? did you not ever consider that?”

you frown. all of a sudden he’s flirting with you. you would think he’s asking you these questions because he’s genuinely curious, but the restrained smile ghosting his features, like he knows something you don’t, makes you think that he’s simply finding this whole thing funny - of course, you, out of people, having feelings for him must be such a plot twist - and here he is, taking delight in his ability to disarm you. what makes it worse is that even as you’re aware, even if you should be feeling offended by what he’s doing for his own amusement, your heart doesn’t follow - seojun’s flirtatious, hypothetical prodding seems to be taking its intended effect on you.

“well, you didn’t,” is eventually all you reply, fully intending to sound as harsh as you could, and then looking away. “stop.”

“stop what?”

“do you think this is a joke?” you snap as you glower at him, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. whether you’re blushing over the hypothetical, impossible possibility of seojun liking you - or if it’s due to your irritation, you don’t know. “stop… playing me.”

he’s silent. after a moment, you give in to the urge to take a peek at him and immediately regret it. because now he’s full-blown smiling, and you haven’t seen him do it in so long it somehow takes the breath out of your lungs. you blink, thoroughly dazed for a protracted moment. “w- what?”

“i said, give me your hand,” he repeats, and as if hypnotized, you obey without question. when he places it against his chest you feel it, the rapid beat of his heart, and it’s just like yours. your frown falters by a tiny fraction. “well?”

“well what?” you ask, dumbfounded.

“it’s been like this since you said you liked me,” he urges. and then, he says the next words to you as you had done earlier - slowly, and clearly, “i like you, y/n. i was being serious.”

you gulp and withdraw your hand from his, suddenly unable to make eye contact. “how? i thought you…” you trail off. liked jugyeong, you wanted to say.

“i know, i haven’t been completely honest with my feelings either,” he admits, “but i’ve liked you for a long time. even before all of the people i’ve dated… and through all of them,” he says, and it sounds too good to be true; seojun catches the flicker of doubt in your face even as you want so badly to believe him. “i guess i just didn’t know i did until… well, i mean, i kind of already knew it long ago, but… it’s a bit complicated.” you can tell he’s struggling to put his feelings into words by the way he sighs. and then, as if struck with an idea, he perks up, “let me prove it to you.”

you bite the inside of your cheek and try not to seem too eager when you stare at him.

“go out with me,” he says with a gentle but nervous smile, lightly tugging at the cuff of your hoodie like a kind child, before he adds, “let’s go on dates, y/n… as a guy and girl.”

you think your heart stops beating for a millisecond; you feel the familiar flutters through your stomach, only now wilder than ever. seojun looks solemn enough with his suggestion, but you realize you haven’t even thought that far yet - to be honest, you’ve still yet to process the fact that he doesn’t hate you, after all that’s happened.

there’s so much to think about, so many things to consider, but you don’t let any of that hold you back from the thing you’ve always wanted - longed for. after a thoughtful moment, you nod, and seojun’s previously tense face immediately breaks out into a grin.

“okay…” he breathes.

“okay,” you repeat, biting back a smile.

and then silence comes; you look away, shy. it seems to have hit you both at the same time - that you’d just agreed to go on dates with each other. apart from the earliest days of your friendship, you don’t think you’ve ever seen seojun look so shy in front of you. you feel a sudden thrill of excitement knowing that it’s because of you. you make him nervous. because he likes you, apparently. and now suddenly, everything feels odd… but the good kind.

later into the comfortable quietness, seojun clears his throat and breaks you out of your reverie. “hey, about that thing you said…” he starts and you quirk a brow in curiosity. “when i picked love over friendship, you should’ve known i was only trying to get on suho’s nerves,” he jokingly admits, earning a chuckle and an eyeroll from you.

“both are equally important to me though,” he continues, pausing for a thoughtful second, “but… you’re the most important to me, you know. and if i did mean it - if i had to choose, like, i really had to… whatever i end up picking, love over friendship or the other way around - it doesn’t matter. i can’t explain it, but i’d choose you over both of them. or whichever you are.”

that was… unexpected. you huff, tilting your head so your hair can fall and provide your reddening cheeks with some measure of a cover. you nudge his arm and say, “must you be so cheesy?”

when you think about it though, it makes sense. you’re not quite sure how, but to you, seojun, too, had always been more than just a best friend, and not merely because you had feelings for him - ‘friend’ had always felt too small of a label when you think about the bond you share with this person. you have a lot of friends, and none of them could ever compare, or is as special to you as seojun and suho are, who have been with you through thick and thin. seojun was your number one, your first choice, your go-to; he was the exception to a lot of things - maybe soulmate would be the closest term to call it, if it were real.

seojun laughs, reaching over swiftly but somehow hesitantly, to sweep your hair back behind your shoulder - another innocent gesture that wreaks havoc with the rhythm of your heartbeat - leaving the spot on your cheek his fingers had grazed tingling. you swear you could kiss him right now.

and it’s like he’s thinking the same thing. slowly, his smile fades, gaze still holding yours; the silence shifts, deepens, and when his eyes flicker down to your lips and he inches closer ever-so-slightly, you realize there’s nothing like this - like the anticipation of kissing someone you really like. it’s a new kind of butterflies you feel. a different kind of thrill.

but before he can actually lean in closer, you feel it - first on your eyelashes, and then your cheek. you look away, much to the other’s disappointment, and extend your hand into the air, feeling the droplets of water on the palm of your hand.

“it’s drizzling,” you point out, turning to face him. but seojun’s eyes never left your face. you stand up as soon as you feel more raindrops come, pulling your hoodie over your head before reaching out to take ahold of his wrist. “let’s go.”

you drag him to the nearest cover, running towards the convenience store not too far from the place. finally, you’re in front of the entrance under its roof, narrowly missing the rain that had just started pouring louder and heavier.

“that was close,” he mutters.

“yeah,” you sigh in relief, nodding towards the store, “let’s go buy an umbrella and walk home?”

a thoughtful pause. seojun has another thing in mind.

“or,” he smirks, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “i’ll race you,” he suggests, so coolly that it didn’t register quick enough that he was actually challenging you. one moment he’s there to see the confusion flashing across your face, but by the time realization dawns, he’d already taken off, giggling several feet away from you.

“wha—hey!”

#also if anyone cares its my birthday :P #which is why i couldnt wait to post it today bc i wanted to enjoy the rest of the week wt my family :p #true beauty #han seojun x reader #seojun x reader #suho x reader #lee suho x reader #hwang inyeop #cha eunwoo #lee suho #han seojun #im jukyung #lim jugyeong #tbhc

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kyanmapng · 4 years

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tangled.

♡ pairing: han seojun x reader

♡ author’s note: the jiu-jitsu scene made this fic flash before my eyes and i actually had a dream about this as well. how much more self-indulgent and cliche can we get lol. it’s basically idiots in love kinda deal. but please enjoy it.

“Why are we here of all places?”

Seojun only smirks at you while he puts his bag down by the wall. He called you to hang out on Saturday afternoon and you were secretly hoping for him to take you to karaoke. All of that hope disappeared when he brought you to a dojo. You couldn’t have been more confused.

“Did you forget already?” Your confused expression said everything. “You asked me about self-defence class? Not wanting to worry your mom?”

You finally understood. “How do you even remember that? Weren’t you drunk that night?”

Seojun’s smirk turned into a bashful expression, his hand rubbing at his neck. “I wasn’t drunk.”

You giggle. “You liar, you are the biggest lightweight I know. And you fell asleep on me afterwards!” Seojun’s head whipped upwards, not expecting this new information. “Don’t look so shocked, you fell asleep on me and we couldn’t wake you up. In the end, I had to carry you back. Because you,” you point at him, “wouldn’t let go.” If Seojun felt embarrassed before, he was burning now. He swiftly turned his back on you but his red ears told you enough.

“Didn’t happen if I can’t remember.” Is all he said, before swiftly changing the subject and glaring at you for laughing. “I’ll teach you some moves.”

Almost like a puppy, you run up to the mat after shrugging off your jacket down. “Do you know jiu-jitsu? I thought only Suho did.”

“I don’t need jiu-jitsu. It’s all about instinct.” He says while forming a fist, looking at you as if you just transformed into a deer he needs to hunt down. It made you swallow nervously, because there was so much power in that stare. Seojun only ever looked at you with a teasing glint in his eyes or that soft and caring one when he saw you working overtime. This was different.

Seojun noticed how quiet you’ve gotten, he expected a quip back at his confident statement. Before he could ask, you managed to get a hold of yourself. “Cool then, Mr Instinct. Teach me.”

He walked over to you, loomed over you and with an over-confident smirk told you: “Try to land a blow on me.”

“I wouldn’t want to put a band-aid on your pretty face, are you sure?” This line could’ve sounded more convincing if his proximity didn’t make you stutter like a highschooler. You wanted to slap yourself for that when his smirk got even bigger.

“I can handle it.”

You’ve watched plenty of action movies, this couldn’t be that hard right? Sorting through the action scenes in your mind, you try to find a good footing and throw the first punch. It ends up in a beautiful failure when Seojun’s hand grabs your whole fist and in one motion pulls you towards him, so your back is now to his front and he is laughing by your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“Solid try. Now try to break free.”

“You are so annoying.” You utter under your breath, why you try to lock your leg under his own to make him lose balance. You trash around a bit, almost headbutting him in the process and you use that momentary hesitation on his part to send both of you flying. Thanks to your position and your leg locked around his he hits the mat and cushions your fall. While still in a haze, Seojun lets you out of his arms and you straddle him and hold his arms down, smiling victoriously.

“I did it! Did your instinct fall asleep or something?” You couldn’t help but tease, basking in your little victory. Meanwhile, Seojun couldn’t move a muscle. He also couldn’t be mad about essentially losing, because he got to see you like this - so bright and ...so close. It finally hits him, the position you two ended up in. He shouldn’t be thinking about this, he really shouldn’t. Why did he even propose this idea? He walked into a minefield.

“Hm, Seojun what ar-” Before you could even realize what’s going on, he overpowered you in a blink of an eye, making you yelp when he caught both your wrists in one hand and rolled you over.

Everything seemed to stop for a second. It’s just you and Seojun, staring at each other. It feels like both of you just openly showed your vulnerable sides to each other. Seojun’s eyes are once again filled with so much emotion, it almost takes your breath away. You want to look away but at the same time, he is everywhere. Was he always this handsome? His lashes are so long it could make you jealous. He really grew out of his baby face and now he was making your heart flutter. This can’t end well.

As if coming to his senses, Seojun jumps up and throws you a “You’ve been careless. Never celebrate when you haven’t won yet.” holding out a hand for you to hold onto. His ears are bright red under the strong led light in the dojo, but your face can’t look much better so you decided to stay quiet about it.

He helps you up and the silence becomes awkward.

“Do you want to-”

“Should we-”

You both start at the same time.

“You first,” you react first after you both laugh at how stupid you are behaving.

“I brought some ramen, are you hungry?” You nod and try to cover up how your stomach rumbles at the thought of some food. Seojun looks over you with a soft smile and goes to prepare the ramen.

While you enjoy your food, you still can’t stop thinking about the moment you just had. It feels like a safety hazard to eat, Seojun had to pat your back twice already and the contact makes your head spin even more. “Next time let’s go for some beef. I’ll have my paycheck soon, so we can stop being stingy.”

Seojun smiles. “Next time? So do you plan to continue with our classes?”

You give him a determined nod, at which he has to snort because you still have your cheeks full of ramen and it makes you too cute for his heart to handle. “I didn’t land a punch yet! Let’s continue this until I do?”

And since Seojun can’t ever tell you no, he is agreeing by default. “I’ll look forward to you trying.” That earns him a soft punch to his shoulder with a whispered, “Meanie.” Seojun can’t help but wonder if these lessons won’t be too hard for his heart to handle.

#true beauty #true beauty tvn #true beauty kdrama #true beauty webtoon #han seojun #han seojun x reader #hwang inyeop #hwang inyeop x reader #han seojun reader insert #true beauty writings #moon writers to the stars

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dat-town · 3 years

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rewrite the stars | it starts today

One thing that's constant in your life is music. Ever since your rebellious early teenage years, music has been an escape and a comfort to you. Working part-time at a vinyl store beside university feels just right, just for you. Plus, it's not a busy one despite the recent trend about retro stuff, so you can listen to the kind of music you like while working on assignments or trying to write (more like scrabble) music on a paper sheet when there are no or almost no customers around.

There are a handful of regulars you recognize not just by name and face but by their music taste as well. Usually it's either them or random tourists whom you never see again that stumble upon the shop. That's why it's always exciting to get new visitors, wondering whether they would stick around or leave with the next breeze of air. Your head snaps up when you hear the bell above the door ring and you see a flash of black step inside. It’s a guy, tall and lean, wearing a leather jacket, his dark locks are all tousy as if he has just gotten off his motorbike. You can tell just by his aura that he’s the type mothers warn their daughters about.

The stranger wanders off by the Newest shelf and you look back at the notebook in front of you, writing down another line of lyrics that just came into your mind. It’s quiet besides the music from the speakers, so you can tell that the possible customer isn’t doing much. You get so immersed into the lines under your pencil, you fail to notice him approaching and get startled when he speaks up in his deep voice.

“You don’t have any CDs?” he asks, sounding genuinely confused, so you don’t have the heart to just point at the entrance with the clear vinyl sign above it. He should have seen it coming in. Maybe he wasn’t paying attention.

“We only sell vinyls,” you clarify, which he acknowledges with a hum and takes his phone out to show you its screen with a screenshot.

“Do you have this one?”

It’s a record from a few years back, a sad song, something you would have never thought a guy like him would buy but you don’t make a comment on it and just look it up in your database. Sure, you might know the song but it doesn’t mean you can be sure you have the record in the store.

“Yeah, it’s in the back. I’ll grab it for you,” you offer and walk to the shelves, take it off after struggling with the high shelf a bit and give it to the guy to decide if it’s what he’s looking for.

“It’s a good choice,” you can’t help but add while you glance down at the cover. It shows a starlit sky fitting its title, Starlight, and you remember the tragic story of the singer, Jeong Seyeon. He committed suicide due to rumours around him which turned out to be fake a few years ago, that was also when his agency decided to release this song.

The guy doesn't really react to your words, his face is emotionless, his gaze focused on the vinyl. His mouth is pressed into a thin line, eyebrows furrowed as if something wasn't up to his liking as he was checking the details on the back of the cover.

"Would you like me to ring this up for you?" you inquire, trying to be helpful and a quick staff but as if he was snapped out of his train of thoughts, he looks up at you at that, his feline eyes finding yours.

"No," he says simply and putting the record down the counter, he leaves like smoke, leaving no trace behind as if he wasn't even there in the first place. You put on the song to play, the record player smoothly sliding through the track and while the deep voice of the singer resonates through the store, you cannot help but wonder what this was all about.

Days pass and you almost forget about the strange customer. Or well he wasn't one after all, just a passer-by. Sure, not everybody has to buy something at the shop but there was something off about that guy's visit. Especially since he had the record he wanted in his hands.

Anyways, your shift that day is just like any other, at least until the familiar stranger shows up. It's almost like last time: he's fast like lighting and moves like shadows in his black attire but there's some kind of urgency in his movements as he stumbles into the store. You can only stare as he hides behind a shelf and oh god, is he being chased?

Your face must tell your feelings because the moment the guy catches your wide eyes on him, he raises an annoyingly elegant brow at you as if asking what you are staring at. You blink and quickly look away, trying to act as if you didn't notice his panting nor the running guys outside of the store but the latter soon disappear down the street. You let out a relieved sigh since the last thing you need is a gang fight while you are on clock.

"They're gone," you speak up, seeing how the guy is still in hiding, massaging his temple. "I would appreciate it if you left in case you aren't buying anything because I'm closing up soon."

You don't mean to be mean but you also don't have to be kind to someone who can only bring trouble to your head. The guy doesn't seem to care either way, seeing how he just shrugs, throwing his leather jacket back on to cover his sleeveless tee and accessories dingling around his neck and wrists. But just as he’s standing up, dusting off his ripped jeans, you catch sight of the earlier guys outside of the window and you can only manage hasty hand movements and a cut off "Wait!" before the bell above the door rang, signalling the arrival of your new not-customers.

"Yah, have you seen a guy running around here?" one of that grunts impolitely but you keep your professional facade on as you turn to them

"Uhm about this tall, wearing leather?" you keep gesturing to indicate the height and the college-aged gang of guys seemed excited hearing the news. "Yeah he hid behind the trash bins, ran that way," you lied, pointing towards a little street at the corner opposite to where they came from. Without thanks or anything, the guys leave the store leaving only you and the mysterious victim (?) of their chase. You aren’t sure how to refer to him but whatever he did they should handle it elsewhere. The guy checks whether the thugs are really gone before standing up and he walks up to you ever so casually.

"Need a ride home?" he asks out of the blue. It isn’t a thanks but you would bet that in his dictionary it's something like that. But just because you lied for him, it doesn’t mean you’re best friend.

“I don’t even know you,” you scoff. You aren't the type who would blindly follow just anyone like that.

“I’m Han Seojun. There, now you know me,” the guy with feline, thin lips and sparkling earrings said with so much confidence you knew you wouldn't forget him easily.

But no, you aren’t stupid, so you didn’t let him take you home then. Yet, the more he started hanging out in the record store and the more you got to know about him, the more you trusted him. He told you how he knew Seyeon, about his producer friend Suho, his sister who was the smartest and sassiest person on Earth and you told him about your songwriter dreams and how you would have liked to hear him sing and things like that. You have learned with time that there's so much more than his bad guy image under those leather jackets he seems so fond of.

The night you let him take you home with his motorbike, you cling onto him with eyes shut closed but you trust him and that's the first step to fall. (In love.)

Rewrite the stars masterlist

#stories #series: rewrite the stars #true beauty

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exosmutfactory · 4 years

Text

How I Look On You 004

Chun-hei is stuck between feeling too busy to commit and too young to settle down. And with her bustling book publisher business, bachelors and alike are all swarming around her for a chance at publicity. She’s doing a good job at keeping the men at bay—until Byun Baekhyun, that is. Doesn’t mean he’ll have it easy though.

Tagging: @baeklination coz I think she’d like to be in the know about this 👀 let me know if anyone else would like to be tagged for the last chapter! 💕

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

The Confusion

—

Why are you only good to me

When I'm bad to you?

Why are you only?

Loving you and hating you is in, depending on the day

Tell me why are you only good to me

When I'm bad to you?

—

Opening my eyes to a familiar yet unexpected bedroom is oddly comforting. Or maybe it is because of the smell of cinnamon and the woods after it rains that causes my shoulders to relax under the thick comforter. Until the daze of sleep leaves in wake of a horrendous headache.

I sit up way too soon for the pounding in my head; close to losing the contents of my stomach before squeezing my eyes shut. Even swallowing is hard. I’m never doing this shit again.

With a groan I gingerly reach for the glass of water sitting on top of the nightstand; glancing down at the two pain pills left there before deciding to take them as well. Leaning back against the headboard of the bed, I try to remember the previous night as my headache slowly ebbs away; letting my gaze drift over the room. My whole body stiffening in realization. I saw something I probably shouldn’t, and I... didn’t come here for sex...

No matter how much time goes by before I even get another glimpse of Seoyeon, I can still pin-point her striking colored hair and confident stance anywhere—unless there is a twin she hasn’t told any of us about. Honestly that could be a likely conclusion as well with how tight-lipped she is with “personal” things. Guess shoving her tongue down her bosses throat isn't considered a “personal thing.”

Flinching at the sudden buzz coming from under my back, I flip over the clean white pillow to find my phone. Jihun’s name flashing across the screen. Briefly glancing at the time of 9:30 am I tentatively swipe to accept the call.

“Chun-hei, sorry if I woke you up,” She begins through the speaker; sounding calmer than I expected, “I’m just calling to check in with you.”

I blink, brows furrowing, “It’s okay.”

“Good.” She sighs, making my brows furrow even more. “Um...why are you so accepting of me not showing up to work?”

“I called you last night, you don’t remember?”

Blinking again I check through my call log, finding her name next to the time of 2:30am. “No,” Trying to remember the time through my blurry visions of last night is proving to be difficult, I don’t even know what time I got here...

“Good.” She sighs almost in relief causing an eyebrow raise from me. “You sure are calm about this.”

“Barely,” She grits, frustration slipping through her voice, “I called you after dragging a deadweight Minji back to my apartment just to hear a certain ‘Byun Baekhyun’s’ voice over the line.”

Heat swiftly crawls up my neck to my cheeks, “I-I accidentally gave the cab his address.” I defend with a flaming face. It is way too early to be flustered like this.

“Good,” She replies, sounding satisfied, “You looked like you’d black out at any moment,” I kinda did—“and based off how worried he was, you did.”

“Oops?”

“Yeah, right.” I can hear the rolling of her eyes, “Got to go, the meeting with the board is in 5 minutes and I haven’t finished preparing myself to take on their judging evil ass eyes alone.”

“Ouch.” I wince, a clear image of similar scenarios running through my throbbing head. “Thank you, Jihun,” I utter sincerely, playfully adding, “You know I love you right?”

“Whatever. You better be glad I get paid for this,” She grumbles, but I know she’s smiling.

“You’re the best~” I sing, disconnecting the line. Laying back on the bed, I look up at the white ceiling, trying in vain to remember everything from last night.

“..he likes you..”

Dark brown eyes watching me from across the room.

“Seojun has been far up his own ass since day one..”

Peach colored hair.

“..can’t believe Seoyeon isn’t here.”

Minji is as pale as a ghost.

“—gets all stiff when you mention—”

Wait.

I sit up, eyes wide in realization, Minji. Throwing back the covers, I swing my legs out of bed. Taking a few steps towards the door before the chill of my body registers in my mind. I look down at the long white t-shirt and tight black athletic shorts on my form before carrying on out the room; carefully opening the door and peeking around the corner. The sight that greets me too cute to bear at 9 in the morning.

Baekhyun sprawled out on the couch with wild black hair and eyelashes caressing glowy cheeks. Soft puffs of air escaping his parted yet slightly pouty lips. He is the picture of adorable right now.

I smile to myself before tip-toeing over to the other side of the apartment; finding my dress from the night before freshly washed and ironed. Sat on top of the modest dining table. Gratitude swells in my chest as I slip out of the borrowed clothes; carefully setting the folded pile on the table when something clatters to the floor.

Shooting a wary look over at the still sleeping Baekhyun, I reach under the table for the object; a single bronze key clutched in my palm. My heart racing at the underlined intentions. Pulling on my heels before slipping out of the door, I take one last glance back at him; not even fighting my fond smile.

Sighing softly once the door is shut, I type in a familiar contact while making my way down the stairwell. The 4 flights will be good for my overworking brain; filled to the brim with thoughts of Baekhyun and the company as I bring my ringing phone to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Minji.” I utter, a little in awe at her sounding so clear this morning. “Are you working today?”

“Yeah,” She sounds less enthusiastic this time; a certain edge to her soft voice.

“Good, I’m just around the block.” I observe, checking the surroundings of Baek’s apartment building fully for once in the daylight. “I’m coming over.”

“I’ll get your usual.” She mumbles, swiftly ending the call.

Taking a deep breath, I tuck my phone back into my pocket, speed walking down the remotely clear pedestrian walkways until I see a familiar sky blue building up ahead. The smell of fresh bread and the soft twinkle of the doorbell overhead bringing fond memories; ones I fear may be a bit painful to reminisce after today.

Minji looks up from helping a lady at the counter, smiling politely at the praises of her hard work and wishing her a good day. We're the only ones left after she leaves; Minji continues to stand there, seemingly lost in thought.

"...Um hey?" I give her an odd look, slowly approaching the counter.

"H-Hi," She mumbles, quickly retreating to the kitchen, "Have a seat. I'll be right back!"

Looking after her warily, I sat down at a booth in the back of the room; lazily watching the people walking past the far window with my chin on my palm as the sounds of running water filled the quiet room.

“Sorry,” She flusters, quickly setting a steaming brown mug and a slice of apple pie on the table before sliding into the opposite seat.

“It’s fine,” I reassured her, patting her hand, trying to ease her nerves. Gingerly cupping the mug in my palms, I gently blow on the ginger lemon tea. “How’s the bakery?” I inquire, quirking a brow with a smile. “Seems to be a real hotspot these days.”

“Business as usual,” She mumbles, tugging at the sleeve of her purple cashmere sweater.

“Hey...” I set down the mug, trying to meet her eye, “You okay?”

She begins to nod, stopping short with a shaky sigh. “N-” She stops, lips trembling. Croaking as tears fill her eyes, “No.”

“Hey hey hey,” I look around, pulling out a packet of tissues and makeup wipes from my purse reserved for moments like these before holding them out to her. She blindly reaches for them, still not meeting my eyes. “Minji… What’s wrong?” I soothe. My unease is growing by the minute.

She mumbles something unidentifiable under her breath and I lean forward, eyeing her worriedly. “What?”

Her head snaps up. “I’m sorry!” She blurts, shiny eyes wide with fear.

“I—” I flinch back at her wail, watching her get progressively more distressed with furrowed brows. “Minji I’m a bit lost here. What are you sorry for?..”

The purple haired woman takes a couple moments to dab at the corner of her smudged eyeliner, sniffling quietly before uttering, “Seoyeon…” She pauses, meeting my eyes for the first time today, “Seoyeon and Seojun are fooling around.”

A moment passes, only the bustling life from beyond the windows filling the silence. “Okay,” I slowly nod, ignoring the itching suspicion beginning to form at the back of my mind. Disappointed but not surprised.

“No,” Minji sniffles, shaking her head. “You don’t understand..”

“It’s okay, Min,” I soothe, putting on a small smile. “Seojun is a part of my past now.” Shrugging nonchalantly, I lean back in my seat, cupping my warm mug in my palms. “What they do is really none of my—”

“—Seoyeon slept with him while you were together.” She drops the ball.

I choke a bit on my tea, setting down the glass harder than intended. “Wha-” I cough leaning forward, fist against my mouth, “What did you just say?”

Minji keeps her teary eyes on the tabletop. The temperature in the room seems to drop a whole 10 degrees as the realization sets in.

“No.” I shake my head, tears brimming my eyes. “No, she wouldn’t…”

“I can’t believe Seoyeon isn’t here.”

“—she gets all stiff when you mention men..”

“—Who? Who?” Seoyeon craned her neck around; trying to catch sight of the man.

“Yah!” Minji whisper shouts, lightly smacking the back of her head. “Leave her be, she needs this..”

No… No. We have been friends since high school, back when she could never find the right concealer for her skin tone and Kim Publishing was but a mere thought…

“You never know,” She replies tossing her freshly dyed red hair, “Maybe you’d learn something if you left your office for once.”

Someone blocks Seojun from view; a woman with peach-colored hair that causes a spark to light up in his dark brown eyes…

“It’s not like her to miss the opportunity.”

Dragging my eyes up from the mug clutched tight in my hands, I meet Minji’s gaze with blurred eyes. “You..” I inhale shakily, clenching my jaw. “You knew.”

Her doe eyes widen, “I—”

“You fucking knew and chose not to say anything!” I explode, not realizing I’ve stood up until I blink, seeing her curled up form cornered against the wall through my red vision. Salty tears steadily streaming down my cheeks. The knocked over coffee mug rolling around it’s spilled contents dripping from the tabletop barely stopping right before toppling over the edge.

“You covered for her.” I conclude in a softer voice, the clues of betrayal burning bright behind my retinas. “You knew this entire time. When were you going to tell me, Minji?” She doesn’t dare to lift her head, my questions firing one after the other. “Who else knows, hmm? Your mom? The media? Jihun?”

“N-No.” She quickly shakes her head as I take in her cowering form, helplessly folding in on herself. “Jihun has no idea.”

“Huh.” I smile, not a trace of humor in my tone. “That makes two of us.”

After another moment’s pause, I reach over to pluck a handful of napkins from the dispenser, dropping them carelessly to soak up the mess on the table. “Thank you for telling me, Minji-ssi.” Sparing her a quick glance, I shuffle through my purse for my wallet, taking a minute to remember the exact amount before slapping the money on her side of the table. “Hope you get all that you want out of life.”

“W-Wait.” I pay her quiet call no heed, already pushing my way out of the clear bakery doors; the crisp, early-winter air biting into the skin of my drying cheeks. Looking up at the light grey sky full of wispy clouds, I brush off my shoulders, making a left turn at the end of the street that leads to the heart of downtown. Because now…. Now.

I have bigger fish to fry.

➽➼►♦⇔♦➽➼►♦⇔♦➽➼►

“Chun-hei.” He grins, comfortably reclined in the leather seat.

I smile. “Good morning, Mr. Shue.”

His eyes light up in expectant glee as I take my seat across from him, smoothing out the pants of my black suit. “To what pleasure do I owe to be graced by your presence this fine morning?”

“Just a quick little check in.” Pulling a blue pen from behind my ear, I tuck away a stubborn lock of hair escaping with the motion. “I believe we had some things to discuss?” I arch a brow, polite smile still on while opening my vanilla folder.

“Oh?” His own smile turns into a greasy smirk; the promise of his victory dancing in his eyes. “Well then. Yes, we do. Have you decided yet?”

“Actually,” I drawl, dragging my eyes back to his, “I’d prefer it if you helped me make one.”

As if on cue, Jihun steps into the room with two interns, each one of them carrying stacks of paper while she holds a recorder in her hands. The single flick of her thumb brings a red dot onto the screen.

“You see, Mr. Shue.” Turning my eyes back to him, I take in the panicked look on his face. “A little birdy told me that you have been making deals with Park’s Publishing.” I emphasize, cointining in a way too chirpy tone, “Behind my back.”

He sits there, forehead breaking out in a cold sweat as I gesture for the interns to set the documents on the long wooden meeting table. Spreading them out on the surface. “Now, if I recall.” Plucking a particular stabled stack of papers out of the two piles, I hold it up for him to see, “Your contract states specifically that any such foul play would mean a lawsuit and an immediate termination of contract.” My tone lowers, looking him dead in the eye. “It’s typed in bold print at the top of the first page, Mr. Shue.”

“I-I-” He stammers, clambering out of his seat while pointing a grubby finger, “You have no proof of anything!”

Not phased by his loud display, I calmly hold my hand out to receive the tablet that a third subordinate brings in; a mere three taps revealing a video of the short, stocky man shaking hands with the Director of Park’s Publishing; the title of exchanged documents clear as day in the HD replay. The book we’ve been working on for over half a year to publish.

Letting the tablet go to sleep, I set my gaze on his shaking form once again. “You will be hearing from my lawyer, Mr. Shue.”

He makes his way around the table in a fit of rage, fingers outstretched just for security to enter the room, swiftly hauling him out by his arms. His face redder than I have ever seen as he shouts obscenities at the top of his lungs down the hallway.

I lean back in my seat with a deep sigh, rubbing my temple and closing my eyes.

“You okay?” Jihun’s voice rings, a hand placed on my shoulder. I make an effort to relax, nodding as my eyes open, “Yeah.” One look at her doubtful expression and I know she can see through me. “Can you...cancel the rest of my meetings for today?” Tentatively, I take a glance at the time on my Rolex before meeting her gaze again.

“I can manage,” She murmurs, giving a slow nod at the apprehensive look on my face. “Go. Before the lunch hour traffic hits.”

Sighing shakily, I push away from the table, brushing invisible dust off my clothes while nodding in acknowledgement to my subordinates; swiftly exiting the room. Rolling my stiff neck with a wince. If only that was the last hassle I have to deal with for the day.

The familiar sight of the tall building up ahead causes my heart to squeeze uncomfortably in my chest, but I continue onward; head held high with every click of my heels on the pavement.

“Ms. Kim,” The guard out front nods in acknowledgement, holding the door open for me as I pass by with a brief greeting; my focus drifting to a certain advertisement posted on the far wall of the apartment complex lobby. The model and the makeup artist. My lips curl up, a bitter smile hidden behind the closing doors of the elevator. What a great pair they make indeed.

Slipping into the apartment is simple enough with the spare key in my hand. The tell-tale signs of moans and squeaking bed frames do not phase me at all as I make my way to the bedroom at the end of the hall, throwing the door open with no remorse. Startling the pair tangled within the bedsheets.

“What the fuck-” Her high pitched complaint stops dead in it’s tracks, covers messily clutched to her chest and eyes widened in alarm in wake of my presence.

“Hi Seoyeon.” That polite smile has found its way back to my lips. The curses spewed from the scrambling brunet under her mere background noise. “Just stopping by to tell you I don’t need your key anymore.” I let it fall with a clatter from my hand onto the dresser stationed within arms reach of the door, stuffing it back into my suit pocket.

“C-Chun-hei...” Her tone of voice is pitiful while her face flushes bright red, disbelieving eyes and shaky pupils glistening in the dim light of the disorganized room.

I look down at her with blank eyes, swiftly spinning on my heel, only managing to take two steps towards the front door before faltering. “Oh!” Snapping my fingers, I face them again with a click of my tongue, smiling in mock relief. “Almost forgot. I left your shoes by the door. Can’t have you leaving a $500 worth pair of heels behind, hmm?”

The nonchalant expression on her features despite the mascara streaking down her cheeks is enough of a response. Directing my gaze to Seojun, I shoot him the same pacifying smile, leaving the place just as quietly as I came.

My gaze lowers to the ground while trudging through the deserted streets, hands shoved deep into my pockets in search of some warmth against the bitter cold air. Maybe I should have taken my car amidst gathering the last traces of Seojeon out of my home, but then again, she isn’t worth the gas money.

Wandering mindlessly brings me back to an all too familiar apartment building, the weight of the remaining key within my pocket seems to grow heavier. Urging me to step into the place I’ve walked by countlessly since this morning. Beckoning me back to the man waiting—is he waiting?

My eyes widen, pace quickening as I bypass the person seated at the front desk in favor of catching the elevator before the doors shut. The ride up to the designated floor full of fidgety hands and impatient foot taps. It feels like ten years have passed before I’m inserting the key into the lock, carefully opening the door with bated breath.

“Chunhei!” Baekhyun rushes over as I force myself to calmly slip out of my annoying heels; his brown eyes wide and hair still messy from sleep. “Are you okay? I woke up and you weren’t-”

Fuck it.

Cupping his cheeks, I smash my lips to his, “I’m okay.” I breathe, pulling up briefly for air. “I just…” Looking at his worried filled face makes me pause, heart racing at the raw emotions in his shining orbs. The longer I gaze into his wide brown eyes, the more the bad feelings of the day wash away, “I need you.”

Baekhyun gulps, holding my gaze as my hands slide down his chest. He catches my wrists before I can slip them under the waistband of his jeans, “Are you sure?”

Looking him over again, I nod, gasping when he roughly tugs me into his embrace. He kisses me as if his life depends on it, so many emotions pouring from his lips as I tangle my hand in his hair; swiftly wrapping my legs around his waist when his hands grab onto my ass. He walks us back to the bedroom, lips curling against my own smiling ones and eyes sparkling with promise.

Maybe.. I want more than the pleasure he gives after all.

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

One chapter away from completing this story ooommmggg. Thank for reading, sorry for the long wait! I guess today is an angst filled one hehe♡ ♡ have a great weekend!

#baekhyun angst #baekhyun fluff #bbh-net #baekhyun romance

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dalamjisung · 4 years

Text

happy ❀ kim seokjin

genre: angst, fluffy ending

word count: 10k~

pairing: reader x kim seokjin

description: being happy is the goal; but what to do when you don’t really know what that means? Maybe Jin can help...

Living in your neighborhood means quiet nights in, with nothing but the sound of light traffic and whispered conversations. It’s unique, and safe, and exactly what you were looking for three years ago, when you first moved-in; but now… now you miss some of that youthful excitement that usually came with late night hangouts and loud bustling streets. With work, and, well, living, you admit it’s been hard– no time for anything else but sleep and work some more. Being a worker on the rise with one of the most prominent Advertisement companies around surely compensates the constant tiredness, but you no longer seem to have a social life. You stopped running in the mornings, and taking late night walks at the park. You no longer have time to enjoy the street market on the weekends or watch a few episodes of Criminal Minds on Sunday. It’s been so long you did something just for you that you barely remember the rewarding feeling of self-care.

It is on a Monday morning– or maybe it’s actually Tuesday,– that you notice a suspicious line of people on the sidewalk, blocking your car’s door. You weave through them to get in and it hits you as you close the door, the waft of gingerbread and sugar smell coming from the newly open store where all the people seem to be going into. You roll your eyes in annoyance, huffing irritably as you start you car and hurry to work, where you have an early meeting with potential clients and this is your chance to show your boss you deserve the promotion more than anyone. You work long hours– possibly all hours, and yet you are still to be recognized for all you put into the company.

“Y/N!” Seojun shouts as soon as he sees you walking to the elevator. “Hey!” Laughing, you hold the doors open for him as he runs to catch it. The pile of paperwork in his hands almost covers his line of vision and you actually feel bad for your friend– the times that you had to run with thousands of files, and contracts, and scripts had been probably the worst times of your life. You never felt as powerless and unimportant as you did back then, when people used to ignore your name for the sake of getting their menial tasks done.

“Hey,” You smile, grabbing some files from him as the doors close. “How are you?”

“Stressed out,” He sighs, frowning. “Too much to do, very little time.”

The doors open just in time for you to help Seojun to his desk and then run to the meeting room. This is it; you are finally going to be able to pitch your idea you’ve been working on for almost a year. You are sure this project will take the agency to a whole other level, putting the newest talents under a spotlight for future investors, but when you tried to tell anyone about this before your promotion, they would just ignore you and wave you away so that you could do another daily, stupid chore. Maybe now, that you are finally growing in the company, you can finally bring the change that these young actors and entertainers need to really succeed in their career.

Everyone is there when you arrive and, smiling your best smile, you sit down next to the Head of Marketing. The director starts the meeting and people start presenting– profits, pitches, scouting,– and it takes time, but you patiently wait; you control yourself and wait for you turn… that never comes.

“Alright everyone!” The Director smiles and starts getting up. “That’s it for today. Great work, people!”

No one even smiles at you as they all leave, one by one, and it’s only when the room is fully empty, with the exception of you and your superior, that you speak up.

“Excuse me, sir,” You smile politely, frowning in confusion. “What just happened?”

“What do you mean, Y/N?”

“The project I’ve been working on for months, Sir,” You say, slowly trying to gather yourself. “I was supposed to present it today… you told me you’d talk to the Director.”

“Oh, that,” He chuckles and sits down again, facing you with arms crossed. You sigh, closing your eyes for just a second; it’s always been hard working under Mr. Nam– he’s always been known to treat his hoobaes unfairly, ignoring and mistreating them. “Don’t worry, I already told the Director about the idea. He already told us to go ahead with it and start getting a team ready.”

Well, that’s a surprise. You smile, trying to disguise your excitement.

“That’s amazing, Sir!” You gush. “When should I start getting things ready?”

“Ah, you see…” Mr. Nam sighs and gets up, getting a bit too close for comfort. His head levels down to yours and you whimper, a but scared with how this situation is quickly progressing. “You are not going to be a part of it. The Director put me in charge.”

“W-what?” Puffing out your chest, you try to put up a brave front, not ready to give up yet. “That’s not fair! I’ve been working on that for almost a year!”

“Yeah, but let’s be honest here, you’d never be able to deliver the result that is expected of this company, Ms. Y/N Y/L/N,” He murmurs, voice harsh and cold. “This project will take us to a whole new level, and you are barely a player here. Learn your place.”

“No, you can’t ju-“

“I can and I will,” He growls pointing a finger in your face. “We need this project, and we need someone who can properly lead it. Admit it, Y/N, you’re just a naive, scared little girl. I can’t have that ruining what is about to be our main source of profit for the next semester.”

“I’m just a… naive, scared little girl?” You whisper, frowning. “Why would you think you can do a better job with this project than I would? It’s my idea after all.”

“I have the experience,” He walks forward, forcing you against the wall. “I have the balls. What do you have? No one here knows you, Y/N. Now stop with this nonsense and go back to work.”

He smiles as he backs away eyeing you up and down.

“Marketing is all about criticism,” Mr. Nam says before leaving. “Better get used to it.”

Your knees give out just as Seojun walks in to prep the room for the next meeting.

“Y/N?” He runs to you, eyes wild and nervous. “Are you okay?”

You can barely catch enough breath to speak, lungs tightening and heart speeding just enough to make you feel dizzy.

“I’m perfect,” You respond robotically, looking up at your friend with a forced smile. Getting up, you smooth your clothes. “I have to run, but I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“What?” Seojun frowns. “I guess…”

Looking back, you can’t help and kindly look at the man that’s always worked hard and diligently.

“Oh, and Seojun?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t let these people undermine you,” You chuckle sadly. “You are an incredible person. And you are worth more than these assholes.”

————————————

In between grabbing your purse and running out of the building, you barely remember getting home. Or more precisely, your building’s door. Something within you didn’t allow you to walk in just yet, and knowing yourself, it wouldn’t allow you to do so until your dilemma was resolved.

Quit and possibly find a worse job but be overall happier and have to erase all those years of work and start all over again,

Stay, put up with it, and maybe get somewhere, someday.

“For fuck’s sake,” You mumble, turning around and starting to walk. It takes a couple of minutes but it hits you even stronger than before– the smell of butter and sugar. Although there is no more mile-long line, you take a peek inside; barely lit, empty, and… well, messy.

But the smell. Something about the smell of warm butter and sugar guides you in, first knocking on the glass, and then smiling kindly at the young man running back and forth, with barely no time to properly look at you, choosing to scream from the kitchen a ‘we’re closed!’

“Oh, it’s okay,” Your eyes follow his tall form as he moves around. “Sorry to bother yo– are you the only one working here?!”

That makes him stop. And look.

His dark eyes meet yours and goddammit you haven’t seen a man this attractive in a long time. His broad shoulder slump forward and he smiles tightly, nodding.

“Yeah,” He sighs, dropping the cleaning supplies. “I barely had time to organize a team before opening, so it’s just me for now…”

“Ah, I see,” You mumble, blushing at your shoes. “Sorry to intrude, anyw–“

“Wait,” He squints at you before smiling a bit wider. “Are you looking for a job? Is that why you’re asking?”

You blink at him. One time. Two times. Three, four–

“Yeah.”

“Really?!” He is clearly excited, dropping all cleaning supplies on a table and removing his apron to show a grey hoodie and blue jeans, and now you think he is much younger than he looked before. “That would be amazing, I’m not gonna lie, you would be saving me so much time!”

“Uh, what if I don’t have any experience working in a bakery?” You look at him, a bit curious about this… process.

“It doesn’t really matter,” He shrugs. “Do you wanna sit? I can make us some tea and get some cookies out while we talk.”

“Oh, sure,” With your mind still reeling from the previous happenings of the day, you would love some comforting food right now. And nothing else, Y/N. You don’t even know if you’ll quit, don’t get ahead of yourself.

“Okay,” He says and he puts down two mugs and a plate of warm cookies. “Just to make you feel more at ease, you’d never be in a position in which you’d need to make food. That is all me, and I don’t really intend of hiring kitchen staff. I just need someone to be the at the frontline– taking orders, waitressing, keeping track of storage and so on…”

“Well–“

“I understand if you don’t want to,” His head falls on his hands. “The pay is bare minimum, the work is exhausting and overwhelming, and honestly I never expected the bakery to do this well during opening weeks, but here we are, two days in, and I already think I can’t do this.”

Taking a second to allow him to catch his breath, you just stare with wide eyes. Are you willing? Are you really willing to go back to all of those insignificant tasks; fetching things for others, serving others, everything for others? But wouldn’t it be the same if you quit your job? Wouldn’t you have to start over anyways?

Start over… that sounds just what I need.

“Well, I was just going to ask for your name,” You gulp, trying to calm him down. “Boss.”

Kim Seokjin. Jin for short, or else he’ll think you’re angry at him. A peculiar man, you’d say, but it’s too late now– this man is your boss. As you lay down exhaustion washes over you, and you almost forget to set an alarm for five in the fucking morning. You can’t believe you did this but you are too tired to actually worry about the consequences of your impulsiveness.

You have somewhere to be tomorrow morning and you’ll be damned if you don’t give it your all.

————————————

“Good morning,” You smile as Jin opens the door for you, flour in his cheek and messy hair all over the place. “How long have you been here fore?”

“Spent the night here,” He yawns. “Needed to get the dough ready for today.”

“Uh, couldn’t you have done that like… now?” You shiver a bit from the cold but as soon as you step inside the bakery it’s almost as if nothing could bother you ever again. The warmth coming from the kitchen and the smell that overpowers everything else embraces you like it will never let you go. You feel safe and relaxed and maybe, just maybe, you’ll like it over here.

“I could,” He shrugs. “But then I wouldn’t have time to enjoy it. And the best part of this job is that I enjoy it, right?”

To say you are impressed is an understatement– the concept of enjoying your job is as foreign to you are the concept of liking your boss. All your life, you’ve strived for perfection, competence– working from the bottom up, making sure to give your all and a bit more, even to those small tasks you hate so much; and never have you heard a ‘thank you, Y/N,’ or a ‘great job!’ Blow after blow made you more apathetic, caring less about the quality, and more about the quantity. Observing your superiors taught you that the more you produced, the better, and you followed that by heart… until you came up with the project that was so swiftly stolen away from you. You had finally found something you are passionate about again! But, once again, it blew up on your face.

Naive, scared little girl. No one here knows you.

“I just want to be noticed,” You mumble to yourself, low enough that Jin makes out a noise, but doesn’t process the words.

He looks at you expectantly, and you smile, ignoring the situation. As he runs to the kitchen to look over his current batch of cookies, Jin multitasks and uses the time to show you around the place. There isn’t much, but even single corner of it is perfect. The kitchen– where you’ll never be unless supervised by him,– is simple and clean; the stock room is next to the back door, and you’ll need to check it every end of your shift; the front area, however, if your main stage– you have to be behind the counter at all times. The five tables pressed against the pink wall get full quite fast in the morning, and if the customers need anything, you need to be ready to serve.

“Sounds good?” Jin asks nervously, eyes looking straight into yours in case of any sing of regret.

“Sounds… just like my old job,” You smile tightly, shoulders sagging in defeat. I guess this is a beginning, although not quite a new one…

“You never told me what you did before,” Jin frowns. “Where did you use to work?”

You open your mind to tell him– you really do,– but suddenly it just doesn’t matter anymore. It never mattered to begin with, to be honest, and you don’t want to carry around that image of you anymore. No more office, no more thinking the bigger picture, no more a naive, scared, little girl. This is not you. It never was. And for some reason, you don’t want Jin, a man who gave you a chance on kindness alone, to see you like that.

“Just a very small place,” You lie. “Nothing important, really.”

“Well, I mean, you are working in a bakery, now,” He chuckles, completely forgetting his previous question. “It really must’ve been a crappy job.”

“The worst,” You nod, and putting on your apron, you get ready for the day.

It starts with a couple of customers; just a couple and their kids, and two high school girls on their way to class. Those are easy and simple and the smiles and ‘thank you’s catch you off guard, but you smile back and wish them a good day.

Then it gets a bit busier– large groups, old people, hipster teenagers,– and just like Jin warned you, the table get filled quickly, and whenever you could, you’d watch the people sitting down with their computers, doing work for school, or maybe applying for jobs. You look at two people sitting together, clearly getting to know each other, and you wonder if this is a first date or if they just met each other because of the lack of chairs in the place. You like this; a peaceful sensation running through you as you watch people smile because of their hot drinks, or humming in delight because of their pastries.

“Hi, excuse me?” Your eyes focus on the client in front of you, and you smile automatically. “Are you new?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Are you new here?” She laughs. “I’ve been coming here since day one…”

“Ah,” A bit embarrassed, you look down to the counter. “Yeah. Jin needed some help, and I needed a job, so…”

“Ah, I see,” She clicks her tongue and squints her eyes, and suddenly you are not that comfortable anymore. “Is he here? Jin?”

“Uh, yeah, he’s… he’s in the back, so…” You are not sure how to proceed.

“Call him for me.”

“Excuse me?” You mumble.

“I need to talk to him, so please, call him for me.”

Nodding, you slowly walk to the kitchen, where you see your boss humming happily to a song. You make sure to memorize this scene before delivering what you are sure is bad news.

“Uhm, excuse me, Jin,” You call softly, and he turns around in a second, eyes wide in surprise. “There is someone here for you.”

“What?” He frowns. “Who–“

“Very beautiful woman,” You sigh, tiredly rubbing your temples once you see the line growing on the other side of the counter. “I need to go back to the cashier, but she… demands to see you.”

“Ah, I know who it is,” His smile falters. “Be there in a sec.”

You go back to your rightful place behind the counter and you start the routine once again; order, payment, deliver. Order, payment, deliver. Order, payment–

“Hey again!”

You look up and surely, it is one of the elderly women you served this morning.

“Oh, hello again,” You chuckle, trying to remember he previous order. “Another latte?”

“Ah, you know it, dear,” She laughs, fishing her purse for change. “How have you been?”

“Busy,” You laugh. “It’s been a hell of a first day.”

“Oh, it’s your first day?” The woman asks. “I could barely tell! You are doing great, sweetie!”

“Thank you so much, ma’am,” You smile, giving her the drink. “It means a lot.”

“Oh, call me Minji, please,” She waves her hand in the air. “It’s nice to see that the people here are as amazing as the food. I’ll see you tomorrow, darling!”

Before you can answer, you hear a loud yelp coming from the back.

“Fuck you, Seokjin!”

“Sana!” Jin shouts, but it’s too late– she’s already out the door. “Damnit…”

“Hey, are you alright?” You whisper, trying understand what the fuck just happened.

“You should go back to the front,” His voice comes out cold and detached, and you shudder. “It’s full.”

“Jin–“

“It’s fine, Y/N,” He says. “Just go to the front, please.”

The rest of the day goes by in a second. You see people again, same ones you’ve seen hours before, and they recognize you. They call your name as if you’ve been friends for a long time, and they introduce themselves. Jinyoung, Seojun, Mina, Chan. You see them laugh, and chat, and joke around. You give them more coffee and food and they thank you, for doing nothing but your job.

It’s when Jin decides to take a break that you finally recognize the feeling blooming in your chest.

“Why are you smiling like that?” He asks, chuckling in confusion.

“I’m just happy.”

————————————

For weeks this goes on. You get a few messages and emails from people in your old office but you don’t even bother check them– you are happy. Waking up early is not a chore, and although it is still a bit hard leaving the bed with the morning dew nipping your skin, everything is okay once you get to the bakery. Apparently, you’ve been doing such a great job that Jin gave you the keys to the place, letting you open up the shop after you nagging him so much about his lack of sleep.

The first thing you do is cleaning. The place opens at 8AM sharp, meaning you have two hours to get everything done, so you start with the most important task. After everything is properly cleaned, you set Seokjin’s space in the kitchen. Because you’ve observed him working so much (and admired his beauty, you admit,) you’ve also learned where he likes his utensils placed, and how he likes to function when it’s just him working with so many orders and batches of food coming in and out of the kitchen. And finally, you make sure to organize the front space, putting in every table enough sugar and napkins to last the morning shift, at least.

“Good morning,” Jin mumbles, walking in without even throwing you a glance. His usual smile is gone and he goes straight to the kitchen. “What the– Y/N?”

You look up to see your boss frowning, leaning on the kitchen door.

“Did you mess with the stuff in the kitchen?”

At this point, you thought he knew– how else would his things be ready for him in the morning? However, you are not that confident this morning.

“Uh, yeah…?”

“Why?” His voice could cut through glass.

“Because I wanted to help?” Your voice dies down as the phrase reaches its end, suddenly feeling embarrassed and… inadequate. And you hate it; you haven’t felt like this since your days at the company.

“I told you to stay in the front,” He says in all seriousness, brows furrowed and angry. “I told you I don’t need anyone in the kitchen! Don’t mess with my things again, everything is out of place now!”

“But–“

“No!” He shouts, and it all comes back. Mr. Nam and his verbal attacks, the constant humiliation, all the holding in and breaking down, all the wasted energy, the wasted ideas, the wasted time. “Stay where you are supposed to.”

“Sure thing,” You seethe, understanding that there will always be frustrations in the workplace, but this… this feels oddly misplaced. “Just a question… is it any different than it usually is?”

“Of course,” He scoffs. “Or else I wouldn’t be complaining.”

“I see,” You nod. “Okay. Understood, boss. Never going in the kitchen again.”

You see the moment he falters, looking quizzically at you, as if he knows he missed something, but didn’t quite know what. Just like that, the day goes by in an agonizingly slow pace; clients coming in and out with not breaks, and you start to feel yourself getting more and more tired, having to handle the front of the bakery by yourself. For days you’ve been wondering how to bring this up, but you need help; at least one other person handling the cashier as you handle the orders and the tables.

Too late, you think, mindlessly steaming milk. He won’t listen to a word I say, now.

“Holy fucking shit!” You shout, feeling the boiling milk overflow right onto your hand. “Oh my god, mother–“

“Y/N!” Jin shouts from the kitchen door. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Sorry, Jin,” You gasp. “I just–“

“I don’t care! Get back to work without cussing in front of the customers.” And he is gone.

“Don’t worry, dear,” You turn around to see Minji at the counter. “He’s probably just stressed out.”

“I don’t see how’s that’s my fault,” You frown, trying to ignore the pain in your hand. “He’s been like that since yesterday…”

“Do you know why?”

“I can guess,” You mumble, thinking back to the woman that asked for him… Sana, you think is what he called her.

“Maybe you should talk to him,” Minji suggests while fishing for change. “You two are a team. He can’t function without you, and vice-versa.”

A team… I’ve never been part of a team, you think, waving her goodbye. Does he really need me?

Your confirmation is the sound of, what you assume to be, many baking trays falling to the ground, and a loud, loud “god-fucking-damnit” echoing in the suddenly very quiet bakery.

So you wait. You wait for the last costumer to leave to exhale, shoulders moving with each deep breath as you walk to the kitchen, stoping at the door. You see Jin, head low and defeated as he half-heartedly cleaned some utensils.

“Can we talk?”

You realize you sound slightly obnoxious, but you don’t care. This is something that has to be done.

“What’s up?” He sighs, hands massaging the side of his head. He looks exhausted and irritated, and for a second you pause– has he slept? Is he okay? He looks way more tired than before…

On one of the tables has tea and cookies and for a second it looks like the night you were hired, when you were feeling the lowest you’ve ever felt. And now here you are; chin high, heart beating bit too fast, and sweat dripping down your back. So stressed. You are stressed– and yet, happy.

“Seriously, Y/N, what’s up?” He sits down, taking a bite of a cookie. “I am not having a good day as it is and–“

“What is up with you?” You speak so fast that all Jin does is stare at you and blink. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be nosy, but I do worry about you. And the bakery. You’re being an asshole and it’s bothering the clients… and me. Mainly me. But the clients, too.”

“Did you just call me an asshole?” He mumbles, processing your words. “Y/N–“

“No, seriously, what is up with you?” You repeat. “Ever since that woman, Sana, came by, you–“

“That’s none of your business,” Jin spits out, getting up and marching to the kitchen. “Now get ready to close up.”

“That!” You shout, pointing at him. “You’re being that! Sana comes by, and suddenly I am your punching bag! Jin, we’re a team, for crying out loud! I am here for you– I am the one that spends the whole day with you, that eats with you, that organizes the fucking kitchen for you! And all you do I shout at me!”

“I’m your boss!” He shouts, and then he realizes he’s just proving your point. Clearing his throat, he continues. “What do you want from me?”

“I want my partner!” You scream, holding tears back. I’m your boss. Not partner; boss. “Whenever you needed me to stay late to clean, and help with the bills, and the accounting– I was here! Whenever you got cooped up in the kitchen ‘trying something new’ or ‘getting ready for tomorrow,’ I was by myself managing this whole place; clients, orders, mails, flowers, decorations–“

“She was there for me, too!” Jin screams, turning to face you and is he crying?! “Sana was there for me too…”

“What does that–“

“She was there and then she wasn’t,” He frowns, angrily marching closer to you. “Sana left me when things got tough. I was getting ready to open the bakery, money wasn’t coming in, no investors, no loans, and then, no Sana. So I’m sorry if I’m a bit skeptical about–“

Jin stops himself before he can finish, but it’s in his eyes.

“Me?” You whisper, hurt and disappointed. “Skeptical about me?”

“What do you want from me?” He begs, coming closer and closer, and you can’t help but back away.

“I was happy,” You whisper, hand covering your mouth in a failed attempt to hold everything in. Hold it in, hold it in, Y/N. For the last time, hold it in. “I was finally happy, Jin. I quit my job for this– for a chance to maybe, just maybe, make a difference. But I guess I never will.”

You take off your apron, and carefully leave it on the table, next to the now-cold-tea.

“At least before I got paid better…” You mumble as you walk to the door, and you honestly don’t think he’ll hear you; but Jin does, and before anything else hits, he’s already on attack mode.

“Then go back,” His hand slams down on the table and you freeze. “Go back to whatever job you were before and never told me about. That’s funny, Y/N– you want me to tell you everything, and yet you won’t tell even tell me what you used to do!”

“I used to work at JYPE,” You say, voice suddenly calm. You are so tired that you don’t even see the point of this anymore. “I was part of the Marketing team, and I used to make nine times more then what I make here. I used to think I was doing something important, Jin. But that was stupid.”

“What?” He gasps. “Why are you here?”

“Because after I quit JYPE, I though I’d never be the kind of person who’d let other walk all over her again,” Your voice is wavy and soft and small, and you just want to leave. Your eyes are fixed on his hands, balled into fists, and you are shaking. “I thought I’d never be screamed at or pointed at or scared again. So I stayed.”

“And now?” He asks, sitting down in defeat. “Why are you still here?”

“I don’t know,” You shrug. “I guess I should go. See you tomorrow.”

“You’re coming back?” There is hope in Jin’s voice and selfishly enough, it give you a bit of hope too.

“I still need a job,” You sniff, looking for your jacket.

“You can get a job anywhere,” He points out, but you choose to ignore it and walk out the door.

You were wrong, Minji, you think, sobbing your way home. I’m alone again.

————————————

“Good morning,” Jin greets you at the bakery door with two coffee cups in hand. Squinting, you manage to catch the Starbucks sign on the edge of the cup.

“That’s not–“

“Nope,” He pops his lips.

“What are you doing out here, Jin?” You sigh, shivering a bit. “It’s freezing.” “I wanted to get here before you,” He smiles a closed smile, trying to hide his uncomfortableness. “But I forgot I gave you my key before making a copy so you could get here to prep the place…”

“Ah, yes,” You fish the keys off, opening the place up for him. “Go in…”

Without even realizing your start your routine, completely ignoring your boss’s curious stare from where he is sitting on the counter. Apron is on, and you are ready; cleaning the place is the quickest chore, you mop the floor, and clean the tables, and make sure that Jin’s butt is not forever engraved in the counter where many people eat from.

“Jin, go sit on the tables,” You mumble, putting the chairs down and around the small sitting area.

And just as he gets up, coffees now lukewarm in his hands, you move on to the last and most important task– the kitchen. Still irritated from the last night, you march into the ‘forbidden area’ and do your best to silently move the utensils around without him noticing. Like it or not, Jin was still your boss, and angry or not, you still worried about him, so making sure that everything he needs is in order and in place for him to go through the day smoothly.

“What are you doing?” He asks, and you almost drop a mixing bowl on your feet.

“Oh, sorry,” Shaking your head as if to get out of a daze, you mumble to yourself something about never going back there again. “Force of habit…”

“Wait,” He runs into the kitchen, and then back to you, stoping your fidgeting hands from checking the cashier for the third time. On the outside you might’ve seem distracted and a bit too calm, but Jin had spent enough time with you to know when you are a complete mess of emotions. “You do this every morning?”

“Uh, yeah…” You clear your throat, trying to avoid the inevitable confrontation that is about to happen. “I know you asked me to stop, and-and I will! I promise!”

“No, you don’t have to, it’s… it’s perfect,” He breathes out. “Since when do you do this? And why?”

“Since you gave me the keys,” You mumble, nervously bitting your lips. “You weren’t getting any sleep and the kitchen was always a mess after you left and I thought that maybe leaving everything ready for the next morning would help… you know, be more efficient and stuff.”

“But–“

“I’ll stop!” You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I don’t want to fight, Jin. I’m still exhausted from yesterday and I just really want to get to work. Please.”

“No fighting,” He promises. “And I’m sorry. I was an idiot. Probably still am. I didn’t mean to shout at you or make you cry, I just–“

“I get it, Jin,” You walk to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Really. Let’s just forget it and go back to work, yeah? We have to open soon.”

“No, Y/N, wait,” Jin grabs your wrists and pulls you closer, holding you in a tight hug. “Let’s not open today.”

“What?!” You pull away and look at him with wide eyes.

“You were right!” He smiles, eyes crinkling in that way that lets you know that a particular fine batch of scones is coming out or that a new recipe is about to be added to the menu. So cute… “We’re a team! I can’t work without you, Y/N, or else I’d go insane. And no one could ever take care of the store the way you do– or make the clients happy, or– or take care of me! So I trust you; when you say you want to stay in the bakery, when you say we are a team, when you say you won’t leave… I trust you, I promise.”

“What is happening?” You whisper to yourself as Jin runs around gabbing his jacket and bag.

“We’re going to have a bonding day!” He announces, pushing you out and into the street. “Let’s go! I have an idea.”

Turns out Jin’s idea was having ramyun by the river, sitting on a cold bench, asking you questions about your life.

“I’m assuming you majored in Marketing?” He asks, chuckling to himself. “I still can’t believe you worked at JYPE… did you meet anyone famous? Oh! Did you meet GOT7?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Well, you’re wrong, actually,” You smile to yourself. “I majored in Literature. Marketing is just where I ended up. And yes, I’ve met GOT7, and no, I don’t have their phone numbers, before you ask.”

He mumbles something about wanting to become best friends with Jackson and you take the time to look around; the sun was high in the sky, contrasting with the cold weather, illuminating everything around… particularly Jin. The sun hit on half of his face, and the last thing you remember is him talking about how BamBam is such a good rapper– the rest is lost in the air once you start noticing his sharp features. His hair covering his eyes, and his jawline, and just how beautiful his smile is. Objectively speaking, you know how handsome your boss is, and you know he knows it too, with his smirks and winks and air-kisses whenever he comes out of hiding in the kitchen and greets the customers properly. But this was the first time you actively noticed it… and enjoyed it.

“Y/N?” Jin calls, waving his hand in front of your face. “Y/N, are you listening to me?”

“Jin, what are we doing?” You sigh, smiling a bit. “What’s happening right now?”

“We’re bonding,” He answers softly. “I thought that was what you wanted?”

“I–“ You stop yourself, because, honestly, you have no idea what you want. “I– Yeah, I wanted to bond and-and get to know you better, I guess, but so far you told me nothing.”

“What do you mean?” Jin frowns and something in you stirs, making you ball your hands in fists to stop yourself from soothing his forehead. What is happening to me? “I told you a bunch of stuff. My favorite color, my college days, my childhood… I told you all about that.”

“Jin…” You sigh, looking right into his eyes, and disappointment is all you see in him; disappointment at himself for ever letting you down, to begin with. “You know that’s not what I mean.”

“I’m trying,” He pouts, eyes looking down at his hands in shame. “I’m doing my best, but I don’t like talking about that stuff… specially now that she’s back.”

“What does that mean?” You ask, hands covering his. Your thumb goes up and down and up and down on his palms and you feel all of the warmth and love that comes out of those hands. “You know what? I have an idea. Come with me.”

It takes you a while to convince him to let you drive, but with a little emotional speech he throws the keys at you and runs to passenger seat. The ride is quiet and you ask him to close his eyes once you start getting close.

“We’re almost there,” You tell him, a small smile on your face. “I’m going to open the window, just letting you know.”

Turning onto the street, you shimmy with glee upon seeing the bakery. Jin’s hair is flowing with the wind and you want to crack a joke about how he look like a model, but the very faint smell of sugar and cookies fill up the car, and you can see Jin sniffing the familiar smell. Although the bakery had been closed all day, the familiarity of the area is enough to bring back the smell that for weeks now has offered you comfort and happiness, and you sure that even with his eyes closed, Jin could feel the same.

“Are we–“

“Yeah.”

“Why?” He slowly opens his eyes, looking at you with such intensity that you can’t help but blush.

“Because this is your safe space,” You mumble, parking and turning off the car. “You are yourself in there– in the kitchen, baking, thinking, singing. It’s the happiest I’ve seen you. Ever. And me. It’s the happiest I’ve been, Jin. So if there is anywhere that I think we should have this talk, is here.”

“Y/N… wow, I just,” He chokes on his words as he looks around, following you inside. “Thank you.”

You smile, going straight to the counter and reaching behind the cashier. “And I also keep this stashed in case of emergencies.”

“You’ve been here for just three months!” Jin screeches when he sees the bottle of tequila. “What emergency could happen in just three months?!”

“This one,” You point at him, pulling two latte cups from the shelf. You pour two shots, one for you and one for him, and signal for him to throw it back. Once your done, you do it again. “Okay, I’m ready now.”

“Really?” He coughs, making a disgusted face. “Two shots in and only now you’re ready?”

“… yeah,” you nod, eyes wide. He smiles, a sort of smile that makes you smile, too, and he nods.

“Okay,” He downs his third shot and you follow. “Okay. Now I’m ready too. So… Sana? This is what you want to know about?”

“Yes,” You nod a bit too fast and you can already start feeling your head spin a tiny bit.

He chuckles, more to himself the anything.

“We met when we were teenagers,” Jin starts, smiling with the fond memory. “Our parents were really good friends and I guess it just just made sense when we started dating. They were happy and I think that’s what made us think we were happy, too. We dated through college, on and off, and a year ago, when I started planning for the bakery, Sana starting planning for something else… she wanted to get married.”

“Uh, was she… pregnant?” You mumble, trying to wrap your head around it.

“No,” He frowns. “Thank god, no. We wouldn’t work. We didn’t work, actually. When I told her that she needed to wait a bit, a year or so, she said that she had already waited for too long. She told me that she had wasted her best years on me, hoping that one day I’d ask for her to marry me, and we would start a family and grow old together and… and I realized that that’s not what I wanted. Sure I loved her and I wanted a future with her, but I also wanted to have a future. The family, the apartment by the river, the kids; it would all cost me of my one dream– this bakery. And I wasn’t ready to give that up.”

You nod in understanding; shoving a dream aside for someone else is something that you got quite used to back in your old company, and it hurt to see that same kind of sadness in the eyes of this man that you’ve only seen working with love.

“But you didn’t,” You pour him another shot that he takes instantly. “You persevered, Kim Seokjin. That’s more than I can say for myself.”

He nods. “Yeah, but at what cost?” His voice is dry and small. For the first time ever since you met him, the big and tall man seemed small like a child. You just wanted to embrace him, and embrace him you did. The inhibition that comes with the alcohol is all you needed to push your body off of your chair and hug Jin, hands slowly patting his back in support. “I lost Sana and it took me months to pull myself together and get the loans for the bakery. I remember waiting to hear from the bank and thinking that maybe I shouldn’t be doing this; maybe I was wrong in putting everything aside from this; that maybe Sana was right, you know? This would never work. “

“Jin–“

“But it did!” He chuckles, voice wavering. When you feel the tears soaking through your shirt, and just hold him tighter. “It worked and why do I still feel so fucking alone?”

His shoulders shake with the intensity of his sobs and you hold yourself back from crying, too.

“You’re not alone, Jin,” You whisper into his hair, cradling his head with careful hands. “You’re never alone. Literally. I’m always here, and the costumers love you so much–“

“Sure, I’m not alone when I’m in the bakery,” He pulls aways a little bit so that he can look at you, hands on your waist as he makes guides you to sit down on the corner of the table. “But when I go home? To an empty apartment? I’m by myself, Y/N. And I hate it.”

“Is that why you refused to go home for the first weeks of me working here?” He nods at your question and you wonder just how many nights he spent in these same tables, crying, sleeping, thinking. “Jin…”

“I’m better, though,” Jin’s eyes stare right into yours and his hands soften on your waits, moving a bit down to rest on top of your thighs. You eyes flutter with the shivers that run all though your body, but you keep focused on the man before you, scooting his chair a bit closer so that he can position himself in between your open legs. “Ever since you got here, Y/N, I’ve been better.”

Jin gets up, taking a step closer to you; and another, and another, and then his nose nuzzles yours, and his hands move back to your waist, hanging dangerously lower than before. His breath fans your mouth and you gasp with the intense need that takes over your body as you pull him closer by his hoodie, mouth hungrily moving against his. There is not an inch of your bodies that don’t touch and you think that the alcohol has something to do with this impulsive decision. A part of you tells you to pull away– this is your boss, after all; but the other part of you, the stronger and crazier part of you, tells you to pull his hoodie off of him and let him remove your sweater.

“Y/N,” Jin growls in your ear just as you pull his hair. “Jesus christ, you’re going to be the death of me.”

“Shut up and kiss me,” You mumble, moving from his neck back to his mouth. “I need you.”

You are the first one to utter those words– the momentary truth, you think about it, and your heart hurt a little bit. Enjoy this now, you tell yourself, allowing Jin to carry you from the table to the ground behind the counter, the only place safe from the huge windows out front. Because tomorrow it will be gone. His hands move quickly on your pants, just as you fight against his; and before you know it, you are both naked on the floor.

“Last chance,” He mumbles to your mouth. “Are you sure about this?”

“Absolutely,” You say, regret already settling in; but just like everything else, you push it aside.

When you wake up lying on the cold and uncomfortable floor by yourself, you know that what is done and is done, and that as much as you tried to stay with him, you’re the one that woke up alone.

————————————

It ends up that sleeping in the cold bakery on the cold floor is not the best idea out there and you stay in your apartment, sick and sleepy, for the next three days. You stay disconnected from everything electronic– computers, phones, television– only using the house phone to call the bakery and tell Jin you’d not be able to make it; again. You admit that hearing his voice takes you back to that intense night, and even sick, you feel a sliver of excitement growing on you, but you have only a few minutes to enjoy it, before going into another coughing fit or sneezing your brains out.

The phone is what wakes you up in the morning, and you mindlessly feel around your bedside table until you find it, buried under used tissues and a half-read book.

“Hello?” You pick it up, groggily trying to pick-up your scattered mind.

“Y/N?”

Your heart stop.

“Seojun?”

“Oh thank god you picked up,” He sighs on the other end. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for the past four days! I though you were ignoring me!”

“N-No, never, I-I just…” You pull away to cough. “I’m feeling a bit sick, and I’ve–“

“Oh no,” He mumbles something on the other end of the phone and it sounds like he’s talking to someone. “Send me your address, I’m bringing you breakfast and medicine.”

“Wha- No, Seojun, you don’t ha–“

“Forget it, I got it right here,” Another voice mumbles something and you stare at your phone, confused. “See you in twenty.”

Sighing in defeat, you throw the phone on the other side of the bed and move to the bathroom, hoping that a shower would help you feel more alive. It didn’t and now you just feel more tired then ever, dragging your body to the living room where you can at least enjoy a few episodes of Criminal Minds, putting the volume way down low so that your migraine doesn’t get worse. You are not sure how long its been and you might’ve fallen asleep, but the harsh knocks on the door have you jumping up and running to the door in seconds.

“Seoju–“ You stop mid-sentence, smile fading when seeing who’s next to him. “Mr. Nam. What are you doing here?”

“Y/N!” Seojun, gasps. “Don’t be rude.”

You smirk, rolling your eyes. “He’s not my boss, I owe him no respect.”

“I expected that, Seojun, don’t worry,” Mr. Nam pats Seojun back, in a supporting manner that you’ve never seen before. “Ms. Y/L/N, how have you been?”

“Look, maybe we should do this another day, I don’t feel good as it is and this is not helping,” You try to close the door, but when Mr. Nam blocked the entrance with his foot and pushed the door open, there was nothing you could do about it. “Mr. Nam. Please get out of my house.”

“Now, now, Ms. Y/L/N,” He sits on your couch and Seojun follows, barely raising his eyes from the ground in shame. “I think we need to talk.”

You break out in cold sweat and you are sure it is not thanks to the two blankets wrapped around you.

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about,” You say, voice wavering but standing your ground still.

“Don’t be disrespectful, Y/N,” Seojun practically begs. “Just sit down and listen to Mr. Nam. He just wants to talk.”

“Seojun,” You gasp, not believing that your friend is doing this to you. After you formally quit from the company, you told him what happened, and at the time he had shown you full support towards quitting.

“No,” He rises up, voice clearly angry. “Stop being a bitch, and listen to other people for once.”

This is like a punch to your stomach, and holding tears back, you excuse yourself out of your own apartment to knock on the neighbor’s door, a young man you met when you moved in.

“Hey,” You mumble, sniffling a bit, and his eyes go wide. “Hey Namjoon, c-can you help me for a sec?”

“Y-yeah, of course,” He steps out of his apartment, putting his hands on your shoulders. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” You say, and you proceed to give him a quick overview of what happened in between you and Mr. Nam. “… and that’s why I need your help. He makes me uncomfortable and, honestly, scared, so I don’t want to be alone with them. Could you come back with me and pretend to look for something or whatever?”

“Yeah, of course!” He frowns and straightens his back, making himself even taller. “Let’s go.”

“I’m sure I left it right over there,” You say loudly, making sure that Mr. Nam and Seojun hear you coming back in with someone else. “In the kitchen.”

“Who’s that?” Mr. Nam asks as Namjoon slowly moves to the kitchen, giving him and Seojun a cold nod.

“That’s my neighbor,” You say, taking a step back from the man, keeping yourself close to the kitchen door. “He lent me something a few weeks ago and needed it back…”

“Now?” Seojun rolls his eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” Mr. Nam chuckles. “Can we talk now?”

“What about?”

“Sit,” Your ex-boss points at the place next to him in the couch but you prefer to sit on the armchair, separated from the couch by a center table. “Okay. I came here to tell you that we want you back.”

“W-What?”

“We want you back, Y/N,” Mr. Nam sighs. You faintly notice Namjoon in the kitchen, but your heartbeat takes over and soon enough you can barely hear anything but the du-dum, du-dum, du-dum du-dum du-dum and you feel as if the room is spinning out of control.

“No” You mumble, starting with no strength at all but soon enough letting all your emotions out. “No way. I have a job! One that doesn’t have me crying in bathrooms; one that doesn’t have my boss abusing his power. I am finally happy and I am never going back to work for you, Jaesung Nam.” When you’re done, Namjoon is right behind you, ready to jump in whenever necessary.

“Y/N Y/L/N, apologize right now,” Seojun demands, taking a step towards you but stoping when Namjoon puts himself in the middle. “Can’t you appreciate what Mr. Nam is trying to do for you? What job could you have that is better than the one you had before?” Taking a deep breath, you ready yourself for the mocking that will surely come. “I work at the bakery a few blocks away. You probably hear of it, it’s gotten really popular.”

“Wait,” Namjoon is the one turning to you, surprised. “You work with Jin? You’re the new girl?”

“You know Jin?” You cough, chocking on your words.

“A bakery?” Mr. Nam laughs. “Y/N, come back to the company. We’ll re-instate you in the marketing team, offer you a better pay, and–“

“I used to be Marketing manager,” You sigh. “You want me back, but not enough to finally give me the recognition I deserve, huh?”

“Y/N–“

“How do you even expect me to come back when you’re offering me a demotion?” You cry out, sniffing through the stuffed nose that now seemed to be getting worse. “Y-You know what? Get the fuck out. I’m done with you two, get out before I lose my fucking mind.”

And when you least expect it, there’s another knock on the door.

“Oh my– who the fuck could that be, huh?!” You squint your eyes at your ex-coworkers. “Ms. Jung from Accounting? Mr. Lim from Editorial? Oh! No, wait, I got it– GOT7, how about that?”

You swing the door open only to see Jin looking as angry as Namjoon. He marches in, pushing you behind him, and you swear to god you’ve never seen a man wearing a black hoodie and blue jeans look so hot in your entire life. His hand is strong and warm around yours, and all the adrenaline that was previously running through your body starts to run out, and the sickness sinks in, leaving you tired once again. So tired that while all the male energy in the room is preoccupied with staring each other down, you feel faint and allow your head to rest on Jin’s back.

“What is happening over here?” Jin asks, voice low and dangerous. “Joon texted me and I ran over.”

“Nothing,” You grunt, trying to lift an arm to point at Mr. Nam, but you have no energy left in you. “They are just leaving.”

“Ms. Y/L/N, just listen to us,” Mr. Nam hisses, with that sick smile of his plastered on his face. “We have a great offer. Passing down like this is foolish, you’re being–“

“Naive?” You snap, coming out from behind Jin. “Huh? I’m being what, Mr. Nam? A scared, little girl? What you gonna do about it? Scream at me? Point at me? Steal my ideas?”

He gulps and something within you clicks.

“Is that why you’re here?” You ask, looking at both men. “Because you want my ideas?”

“Listen, you were our best marketer,” Mr. Nam says, although you know he doesn’t want to. “You came up with the best ideas for our auditions and publishing offices. We need that back.”

“Oh, that is golden,” You laugh, humorlessly. “You are back here, in my apartment, begging me to come back, because you want to steal my ideas again?!”

“Say the word, Y/N,” Namjoon mutters behind you. “Say the word and Jin-hyung and I will take care of these idiots.”

“Leave them to me,” You smile creepily. “I’ve been dying to do this for years.”

With just three long strides you walk to Mr. Nam, the man that still torments your dreams and haunts your every decision, and slap him across his face.

“Get out.”

Every word is strong and loud.

“Get out of my house, you fucking dumbass,” You hiss in his face. “Before I call the police to escort you out. If you can’t do your job, don’t come begging me to do it for you. I’m done. Leave.”

Seojun tries to grab your hand, to stop you, talk to you, beg you, you wouldn’t know– Jin got in the middle and practically dragged both of them out of your living room and into the elevator.

“We’re going to your precinct first thing in the morning,” Jin tells Namjoon and his friend nods. “We’re going to need to file restraining order for Y/N.”

“What are you talking about?” You scoff, just wanting all of this to be done so you can finally enjoy the feeling of standing up against Mr. Nam. “I just want to sleep, guys. Thanks for everything, the two of you, but I think you should go.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jin asks you with wide, unbelieving eyes. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for four days and nothing. Then, the first time I see you again, you have two insane men in your apartment. So no; I’m not going to leave.”

You blink, not sure how to proceed. “Jin, I’m feeling really sick right now, okay? I want to explain everything, but I really just need to sleep this cold off first.”

“Then go sleep,” He pushes you to the hallway. “I’ll stay here and make you some soup for dinner. I can also go grab some medicine from Joon’s place, he has a whole pharmacy in there.”

It takes some convincing, but apparently Jin is really good at that. While you sleep, he busies himself with cooking and humming through the morning. When you wake up again, it’s barely noon, and your house is filled with the most amazing smell of kimchi-jjigae.

“Come eat,” Jin smiles a bit when he sees you standing by the kitchen door, Joon nowhere to be seen.

“You really didn’t have to,” You say, taking the pills he gives you. “But thank you. Really. It means a lot.”

“You’re welcome,” He blushes. “I was worried. You weren’t responding to my texts or answering my calls… when Namjoon texted me I was relieved for a second.”

“I’m sorry you got dragged into that,” You say, voice coming out less raspy thanks to the warmth of the soup. “I didn’t know Mr. Nam was coming here and–“

“He’s the asshole that made you quit, isn’t he?” He asks, grabbing your hand. You nod, still eating. “I can’t believe he did that to you, Y/N, I swear to god if I see him again, I’m going to end him.”

“Why?”

The question comes out before you can even think about it.

“What?”

“Why do you care, Jin?” You smile, although quite sadly. “I mean… I woke up alone, for crying out loud. You left me, and I woke up by myself. So if you didn’t care then, why do you care now?”

“I always cared,” Jin says, rolling his eyes. He sets a plate in front of your and everything smells delicious. “I know I don’t always show it, but I always cared. The only reason I kept the cinnamon buns in the menu is so that Minji comes back every morning and talks to you– you seem happy when she’s around. I make to cook a fresh batch of chocolate chip scones just so that you have your cool down time, as I like to call it; it’s when we have almost no movement and you allow yourself to sit down and eat something, so I always try to have your favorite ready.”

“Is that why we always have an absurd amount of chocolate chip scones left?!” You ask, gasping in shock.

“Of course,” Jin laughs, watching you pout. “No one eats that atrocity. Just you.”

“So you make those just for me?” You whisper, feeling your eyes starting to tear.

“You like them,” He sighs, and when Jin finally looks at you again, you recognize the emotions swirling in his eyes. You saw them before– that night. “Jin–“

“I also talked to Sana,” He clear his throat, telling you everything he feels need to get out of the way. “She is not going to bother us again. I told her I am not going back and that we–“

You don’t care about the rest of that sentence. The us and we is all you need to finally be certain that Jin is as much in this as you are; so you kiss him. You grab him by his shirt, and for a second you have a deja-vu of the two of your drunk, on the floor, on the table; however, nothing matters once his hands find your hair and he tugs your head back, giving him more access to your mouth, your neck, your everything. Jin is as unsure as you are but soon enough you two are on the couch, his hands on your ass, bringing you as close as humanly possible.

“Y/N,” He groans, and you whine, desperate for his attention. “Goddamnit, woman.”

Your mouth moves from his, down to his neck– your teeth sinks in his skin, softly pulling a groan out of him, and you can swear you feel it down to your bones.

“I like you,” You whine, too lost in the sensation of him to actually pay attention to your words. “Fuck, Jin…”

“I like you more,” He chuckles, mouth finding yours once again, pulling and pushing, giving and taking, and taking, and taking all you can give. “I like you so much more.”

You chuckle, rolling your eyes, and when he notices, he bites your lower lip, pulling it a bit. “Careful, there princess.”

“Jin,” At this point, your head is completely empty… so empty that when you sneeze, you are as shocked as the man in from of you. “I forgot!”

“You forgot you are sick?” He laughs, making that high pitched sound you’ve grown to love so much.

“It’s all your fault,” You groan, trying to get up from the couch. He holds you down.

“Make that noise again and a stupid cold won’t be enough to keep me away from you,” He whispers in your ear, giving your neck a last nip before getting up and pulling you with him. “Now go take a nap. I need you better soon, that place is a mess without you.”

“You can just say you’re a mess without me,” You wink, moving to your room. “I won’t judge.”

For the next couple of days, Jin stuck by your side, only leaving to go grab a couple of extra clothes. He nurses you until you are feeling new again, and until you are able to go back to work. Those days had been absolute heaven; you and Jin had time to explore your new-found romance, pampering each other with kisses and compliments and the occasional make-out session. Although it took both of you some time, you had finally found each other, and you can barely sleep the night before having to go to the bakery again. You finally knew what it felt like loving your work; but now you’ve reached a new level. You get to the bakery with a smile, even if you haven’t slept a wink, and opening the place up, so that people that love the food, the drinks, the ambiance, can have a good start to their day, or a good end, if it’s late at night. And when you are finally done cleaning, you wait for Jin while sipping on some tea, watching him hum a random song; and it’s usually then that you know, you’ve never been this happy.

--------------------------------------------------------------

holy shit this was long! hahaha I think this is the longest fic I’ve ever written, but it’s worth it! I absolute love it :) what do you think? Let me know in the comments! Your opinion matters the world to me <3

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dreamingsushi · 4 years

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True Beauty - Episode 9

So I kind of postponed watching this episode, because I am kind of afraid how things will turn out after what happened in episode 8. It seems like it’s going to be quite different from the original story and I’m not sur what to expect. I guess it’s normal, but still. It makes me a little sad, because even though, let’s face it, True Beauty isn’t extremely original, it’s not the first switch girl story I’ve seen, I like it and grew attached to the characters. So yeah. But here we go. Maybe I’m just wrong or not remembering things properly.

Jugyeong runs away after breaking the kiss and Suho chases after her. She can’t believe it’s true and not a joke. He convinces her and gives her the necklace. Which was about time. Then he asks her how she feels about him. Duh. She’s infatuated with you. She blurts that out and runs away.

Then she’s so happy that she forgets that she doesn’t have make up on and runs towards Soojin when she bumps into her. She ends up explaining what happened in the past and why she doesn’t want to take off that mask. Soojin is rather supportive of her friend. She even wants to help her to get back in without being caught.

Then back at school, Suho is blooming and charming everyone with his beautiful smile. He bought some strawberry juice for Jugyeong but she tells him to throw it away because they are not in a relationship. What? This is so totally different from the webtoon that I’m really confused about what is happening. Su Ah’s boyfriend scolds him for having not confessed yet, while Suho is just... confused?

Later at lunch, Soojin helps Jugyeong getting away with not going to the spa with friends after their group study session. Just then, Suho comes to eat with the three of them. So she just leaves and textes him (in secret code) to come and meet with her at the incinerator. So she explains why she’s being like this. It’s because she’s afraid from being bullied by other jealous girls for dating Suho. Okay this is so upsetting. She keeps on hurting Suho’s feelings and it bothers me very much. This is really unlike the Jygyeong I know. I really dislike it.

So they go on their first date, super far away from school so nobody sees them together. Suho takes her to a restaurant and as the waitress hands them the menu, Suho pushes it back, saying they will take the couple set. That was funny, I did smile a little. Even though I am very displeased with what’s happening because... it’s so cliché and so unlike Jugyeong and just ugh. Well anyways, they’re having a lovely time until some classmates come over, so Suho hides under the table, they try to see who it is, but then they decide to leave. Then she tries to run away again because she’s afraid someone else will see them, but Suho is outsmarting her. He took her there so she could meet with her make up idol.

When she gets to school the next day, everyone wants to know about her boyfriend. She tries denying it, but it’s not really working. Su Ah’s boyfriend scolds Suho for not confessing again. Poor Suho. And poor Seojun. Thankfully, Seojun is the one to calm the fuss down. Then Suho asks for the picture of the two of them on the boat. But she sends it to the wrong person. Obviously. She steals his phone, in hope to delete the picture. Such a dumb plan. Doesn’t line have a recall message option? Or KKT, I’m not sure which one as I don’t use those apps anymore. anyways, she tries to make him fall asleep. Which somehow works out? Oo She almost gets caught, but Seojun saves her. And gets to see the picture. Poor baby.

She’s starting to get on my nerves with this whole let’s keep it a secret from everyone... I hope this ends soon, because... it’s just plain boring.

While Jugyeong is sleeping during class because she stayed up late to look for a part time, Soojin notices she’s wearing the necklace that Suho gave her. While she’s handing out her resume, she bumps into Seojun who’s getting ready for a photoshoot. She ends up following him to the set and gets pulled in as a model since their female model didn’t show up. It’s awkward, but then they have moment. And she misses Suho’s call. Well he missed her earlier, but he was in a dinner with his dad, Soojin and her family. He called back after saving Soojin from being put down by her dad. Wow. Thanks to Seojun she finally realizes it might bother Suho to hide their relationship.

On his way home, Suho bumps into Jugyeong’s father and ends up taking him home with him, because he has nowhere else to go. Things you would do for your girlfriend. Dad is awake really early in the morning to watch some match. I don’t remember which sport. I only watch figure skating. And gymnastics. During the Olympic of course. Anyways, they bond over sports and ramen and Suho thinks that Jugyeong is really like her dad. That’s probably why they get along the best. Cute Suho, finally experiencing what it’s like to have a dad.

Jugyeong’s brother asks Gowoon out and she rejects him haha.

Seojun helps Jugyeong getting a part-time. Suho gets jelly seing her with Seojun. Poor baby Seojun TT He breaks my heart. And when he hears she got hurt at work, running over there to check if she’s okay. Such a sweet boy.

Later at night Jugyeong is feeling down cause she feels her mom kind of disregards her and likes more her siblings. She doesn’t feel like helping anymore and Suho invites her over to teach her judo. That’s so sweeeet. He promises her that if she manages to flip him over, he’s going to grant her a wish. She manages to do it, but we have no idea what the wish is, apparently it’s embarrassing. but top secret ): Awwww. She wanted him to save her as girlfriend in his phone. She’s so cute. They go out right on time, as it stopped raining. But then some bus comes along and splashes them (Soojin got to see them being all lovey-dovey). Suho takes Jugyeong to his place so she can change and wear so dry clothes. They order food and she gets curious about the locked room in Suho’s appartment. So he shows her the room, it’s where he used to do music with Seyeon. Jugyeong says they should tell everyone that they are dating. So he plays for her a little, but then the pizza arrives and... SURPRISE. Dad didn’t leave. Yet. That creepy moment his head pops out. omg. I laughed really loud.So he spent the day there because he drank some alcohol from Suho’s cupboards. He tries to escape, but ends up hiding under the couch while they eat pizza and watch an horror movie (Jugyeong picked the movie, Suho is into horror cartoons, but not horror movies).Okay no, so dad is under the table. And he steals food hahaha. Way to go to remain hidden... omg. Then Suho gets all jumpy and closer to Jugyeong and they are on the point of kissing. So Dad wans to have a look. His face when he sees it’s his daughter. Omg. This last part of the episode makes all the unworthy part in the beginning forgiven. Omg. I’m laughing so hard. My heart is beating like crazy. Dad grabs Suho’s leg. The kids get scared. They jump away. Dad comes out of his hiding place, ready to eat some baby Suho. And Jugyeong smashes her dad’s head with a pan. This is hilarious. To me at least.

I don’t know where half of the previous episode’s preview went but, oh well. Episode 9 got points in my eyes because of the last part. Really.

#true beauty #moon ga young #im jugyeong #cha eun woo #lee suho #hwang in yeop #han seojun #park yoona #kang soojin #webtoon #webtoon drama #kdrama #k-drama #korean drama #drama review #drama recap #drama reaction

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royal-despair-threads · 6 years

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Leon & Seojun [Prologue]

In an environment such as this, it can be hard to trust the people around you. Their safety was on the line, but if Seojun had to choose someone to align with, it would definitely be Leon. He seemed to be the type to take on the role of caregiver, and he doesn't let the brace around his leg stop him. He's determined, relentless, yet kind. He wanted to know more.

The man with bleached locks strode over towards the Dollmaker, and tapped on his shoulder with a smile. "Hey again. Looks like some of these guys are really lookin' up to you, huh?"

Leon glances up at Seojun in surprise, but a smile soon rises to his countenance. His shifts his body to face the student he's gotten along well with so far. He wants to learn a bit more about him, other than knowing he's the SHSL Internet Troll and he's a big brother type, like him. Leon knows he's quite intelligent, having found two of the chords in their attempt to open the safe. Even said safe was discovered by him. He'd be lying if he were to say he wasn't intrigued.

"Ah, you think? I think it's more so me fawning over them and them not having anywhere to run to in order to escape it," He snickers.

Seojun couldn't help it - he also kind of snorted at that. While with some of the people it may have been true, he didn't consider that to necessarily be a bad thing. "Y'know, that's alright. It's not like we're going anywhere anyway, so being surrounded by supportive guys like you is a blessing, to be honest."

He give Seojun a look of deep appreciation at that. "Thank you. I'm used to taking care of people, but god, this is a lot to handle. And I'm not sure where else I would be useful, so I'll stay put I guess."

"I get that. It's okay to take a break, you know!" A grin formed on his face, as he took the chance to finally sit down after that ordeal. "While we're stuck here, might as well try to take the chance to breathe."

"Yeah... you're right. It's easy to forget that I don't have to run around from corner to corner all the time." Leon sits down as well, massaging his bad leg to help ease the aching pain.

"That's a mood, haha." Seojun looks down towards the leg with the brace on it. He had an idea in mind to try and help, but he decided against it for now. "Is it because you have siblings, too? Younger ones, specifically?"

"Oh, I have a sister, but she's older than me. No younger siblings, unfortunately." Leon smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

"Ahh, I see." Seojun smiled once more, sitting back carefully. "I get it, though - You want to take care of others because of how your sibling took care of you. Or, am I looking into this too deep...?" Sheepishly, he chuckles once again. "Sorry."

"Well... Yeah, she did take care of me a lot. I guess that's not too far off." Leon plays with his dangling earring. "I think I'm a bit more soft than she is though. She's more of the 'tough love' variety."

"Yeah, I get that. Sometimes, though, it's the right kind of love. Sometimes, not so much, but that comes with experience, right?" Seojun looked over towards where Leon's hands crept, and a small smile formed yet again. "Nice piercings, by the way."

"Oh, thank you. I like your henna tattoos." He offers him a slight tilt of the head. "As for my sister... That sounds about right. Good sometimes, but others, not so much. She taught me a lot though."

"Oh?" He tilted his head ever so lightly, clasping his hands together. "Would you be willing to explain?”

"Do you want the long or short of it?" He asks with a bemused expression. Leon hadn't expected Seojun to be so interested.

"Whichever's more comfortable. I'm curious, but you don't have to reveal anything you don't want to." Another smile dawned upon his lips, as he taps his chin lightly. "Sooo...Middle."

"Sis taught me how to reign in my feelings. Not to mention because of her old dollhouse, I grew interested in dolls in the first place. She showed my Jazz, makeup, that kind of thing. Decent fighter too, though I haven't seen a ton of that before. Usually she scares people off before they can throw a punch. She never taught me anything like that though." Leon shares bits and pieces of their relationship.

As the explanation began, the smile on the Internet Troll's lips could only grow. The relationship that they shared was probably a good one; he'll have to give it that. "You weren't kidding. She basically helped you find your passion. I'm guessing you're close to your older sister, hmm?"

"Yeah, she's pretty damn cool. I guess that's why I don't mind Petra so much. They're pretty similar. I haven't seen much of a difference so far, to be honest." Leon hums lightly.

"Petra's not too bad. I can see she has a heart." The male couldn't help but give a soft sigh himself, looking to the ceiling. "...Underneath the exterior of 'mega-bitch', but still. She's pretty funny in the right situations, too." "Makes me kinda wish I had a sibling like yours, y'know?"

He laughs lightly and shakes his head. "You either hate 'em or you love 'em, and I'm of the latter variety. Sis loves me too, I can tell, even if it's displayed mainly through insults and punches. They can be fun sometimes. But it's hard to find a middle ground with them."

"Yeah, finding a middle ground with any sibling can be kinda hard." Seojun nodded in agreement, resting his right cheek inside his palm. "Big or little. You still love 'em though; there's no doubt about that."

"Of course! She's important to me. Do you have anyone like that, Seojun?" Leon tilts his head, actually quite curious.

"I do." His smile widens a bit, tilting his head up slightly. "A little sister. Her name's Ae-joung."

"Ah!~" He beams at that. "That sounds so cute~"

Another laugh escapes his lips, as he scratches his head slightly. "Thanks, haha. We've been living in Massachusetts with our uncle for a while now. The states aren't so bad."

"Tell me about it! It sounds interesting. I've never left my country, or even the city itself, so I like to hear about different parts of the world." Leon plays with the cuff of his sweater absentmindedly.

"Well, where do you wanna hear about first?" Seojun gave another grin, flipping his hair slightly. "South Korea, or America?"

Leon snaps to attention immediately. His eyes are practically sparkling. The palms of his hands go to his knees to to brace himself as he leans forward slightly. “A-Ah, South Korea, if you don’t mind!”

"South Korea it is.” Seojun chuckles a little bit, before facing straight ahead of him. “South Korea, at least the part I grew up in was...full of life." The man mused, looking up towards the ceiling for a moment. "The culture's different, but some things that they did were festivals. They did them at least every season; my sister and I would often go to them when we had the chance." He almost seemed reminiscent of his old lifestyle...

His eyes met the Dollmaker’s once more. “I’m not sure about this one, but are you German? I detect an accent coming from you.”

Leon listens in quiet awe. To most people it may not seem like anything special, but such a description captivated him. He can't help but lose himself in a fantasy of what living there might be like. It takes the sweets fiend a moment to snap out of it, only doing so after registering that Seojun asked him a question.

He tries to sit up a bit straighter, rolling his shoulders back a bit. "Yeah, I'm German! You're the first to guess, aside from Minori. And they could only recognize the general region, so nice work!"

Seojun gave himself a bow, and a pat on the back. Truth be told, he was impressed that he was able to guess that solely on his accent alone. “Ahh, glad I was able to get it right, haha! What’s it like?”

"Well I've never really left the city before. But the place where I grew up is filled with everything from Roman towers to Gothic churches to modern architecture! It also has a variety of museums, too, like the Museum of Applied Art, the Museum Ludwig, and even a chocolate museum." He laughs a bit at the last one. "I may have spent nearly all my afternoons there when I was younger..."

"Wow." His jaw dropped slightly at the descriptions that his friend provided for him. To be fair, now he had to give the architecture guy some credit - with buildings that sound as intriguing as those, it sounds to be quite difficult. A smile surfaced upon his lips once again. "That honestly sounds pretty cool, Leon."

"You think? I'm glad! I don't have anything to compare it to. W-Well nothing concrete. Just stories I've heard from people. Oh, but if you ever go there, make sure to go to the chocolate museum. Not only does it teach you the entire history of chocolate, but the gift shop? C'mon." As always, Leon is enthusing about anything mildly sweet.

#leon #seojun #prologue

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tearsona · 3 years

Text

true beauty | h.c. with fem!reader | part eight

a/n: wah it’s been so long, please forgive me. college has honestly been killing me. i didn’t plan on ending the update like this, but i figured it would take me much longer if i included the next scene here, so i decided to just put it in the next part. anyway thank u to those who have been waiting patiently! the endgame is finally revealed??? please let me know what u think ((i am aware not everyone will like where the story goes but please be nice)). ALSO!!!! please check out this playlist a cool tumblr friend made for the series i love it so much :3

part one | part seven

the suddenness of your action takes you both aback at first, lips awkwardly pressed against each other and unmoving. suddenly, you’re aware that you’ve just entered prohibited territory - one and the same with that which you’ve one-sidedly tried hard to stay away from, with seojun.

with suho though, this was territory you’ve never really had to make a conscious effort avoiding simply because it had been completely unmapped in your friendship before this moment - never been in your vocabulary ‘til now.

probably why it didn’t take you a second thought to cross the line. for a moment, it didn’t feel like the consequences were the same.

and so you wait for it - the regret, the panic, the unwanted voice at the back of your mind, the force that’d pull you off of your friend.

but it doesn’t come.

instead, you feel yourself melting into the kiss the same time suho’s body relaxes against yours and, for now, it doesn’t feel wrong. not at all.

truthfully, you’ve done this with a number of boys in the past, none of which you’d felt even the slightest bit of affection for, so there have been times where you wondered what a real kiss would feel like. until now.

with suho, it’s nothing electric or magical. in fact, it’s the opposite - but feels just as wonderful and rare. it’s altogether sweet and delicate; even as he goes to deepen the kiss by angling his head and pulling you closer by the waist, his mouth remains tender in its movements and his touch careful and feather-like, as though he’s holding something invaluable.

there is no sparks or burning ache, no bubble of excitement or tinge of desperation that has you clutching for more, but there’s a feeling of relief, of content that settles in your chest, and warmth that spreads through your body that makes you not want to let go.

it’s calm and real and grounding, and just… so very suho.

no, it’s nothing like in fiction, you think, or the plenty of times you’ve imagined what a kiss with him would feel like, one wherein fireworks dance behind your eyelids, or you’re spinning above the clouds. it’s nothing like that.

but it’s perfect.

and yet.

yet why his name is in your mind at this second, why you still can’t help but wonder if such dream-like kiss exists in reality is a frustration to you. even this seemingly perfect moment has somehow provoked the thought of him, just like all the other times in the past you’ve tried getting with another boy but heaven forbade you to.

him, whose presence is merely a few feet away, whose heart you’ve unknowingly decimated, shattered severely upon witnessing this moment, and if you just looked to your left you’d see the hurt that’s broadcast clearly on his face.

what with the interruptive thoughts, you’re the first to pull away from the kiss, eyes temporarily wide as you try to read his expression, but you’re unable to when you’re confused with your feelings yourself. all you know is that right now, you’re looking at him and seeing him in a completely different light - as if all colors had traded places or been imbued with a new property, that nothing feels quite the same anymore. in a good way, you hope. for now it feels so.

you blink once, twice, before you let go of the grip on his collar and suho’s arms slowly leave your waist. you take notice of the red in his cheeks and there’s no doubt, with the way they’re burning, that yours are mirroring them as well.

and for the first time… seojun feels like crying. he’s seen everything for sure, not having torn his eyes off the scene for at least a second. even now, he’s watching as suho lingers in front of your gate after you’ve gone inside, perhaps trying to process what had just transpired between you, perhaps feeling the exact opposite of what seojun is going through - intolerable, gut-wrenching pain, without exaggeration.

it’s the finality that hurts.

because, to seojun, more than the romantic heartbreak of finding you lips-to-lips with another man (suho, to be exact), this is the final fragment of the realization that you absolutely didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.

that night had been the end of your friendship. seojun can still remember the panic he went through the first time he realized that. but despite knowing that you hated him, what had gotten him through all these weeks was the tiny shred of hope that he still held onto - one of these days you were going to miss him, forgive him, or at least tell him that you were willing to hear him out.

because that was the kind of bond that you had. at least, that was how he’d read it - past the playful acts and teasing remarks was the promise of an unflinching friendship, of always having each other’s back, of finding home in one another. as cliche as it sounds, he’d always felt that there was some kind of invisible string that tied you together - you were each other’s person, and being separated from each other felt like walking around in half.

but seeing you here was what killed that illusion of hope for seojun. it finally hit him that he no longer held any place in your life.

for real.

on the other hand, you’re wondering just how much different things would have turned out, if it had been him all along. lee suho.

it should have been him.

he’s attractive, he’s kind, he’s sensible, he’s great to have around, and he even does all of these sweet things for you. not just the big favors, but also the minor, missable gestures from him during your moments together that he thinks you don’t notice.

plus, he’s never judged you even though he knows you inside out, to the point that it annoys you sometimes, how you could never hide anything from him. you know you need that though - someone who could see right through you despite your stubbornness to express your feelings.

but most importantly, that kiss. who knew, that you and him could ever share something like that? suho, out of all people. up until that moment, you’d only ever seen and treated him as a friend. almost a sibling even.

but that’s exactly why these thoughts should be making you feel guilty, improper. like they always did with seojun.

and yet somehow, they don’t.

suho had been the first to lean in, after all.

of course, neither of you had meant it to happen. you know how much suho likes jugyeong - you’ve seen it. having spent a lot of time with him lately too, it’s obvious that his feelings for the girl haven’t changed a bit.

clearly, it shouldn’t have meant anything. it was no more beyond a mere lapse of judgment. admittedly, you’d been momentarily swayed by the way he had looked at you then… it was alien to you. sure, you’ve had guys stare at you with want before, but none of them had ever looked at you the way suho did in that moment - like there was a need, an ache to kiss you.

and it doesn’t matter if you’d read it wrong, if it had been fleeting, or if you’d both just simply misplaced your feelings for other people, each been craving affection from someone that wasn’t available as the other had been in that moment. what matters is the plain fact that suho sees you as a woman. and if you’re not mistaken, there was definitely something in that kiss - a mutual undercurrent of something you can’t quite name but, dare you say it, held the potential to bloom into something more if you both wanted to. if you were both willing to try.

the thought of it is enough to stir something inside you.

you enter the studio later than you’re supposed to for no reason other than you’d accidentally slept through your alarm after spending the whole night awake. you mumble your apologies to nobody in particular as you make your way to set your things down on one of the tables, camera flashes and shutter clicks as well as you’re doing great, fantastic! turn around, good! and other words of encouragement from the photographer filling the room as usual.

you try to regain your breath for a moment after having run all the way here, searching the contents of your bag for your water bottle until you hear something that causes your head to snap up immediately.

“…han seojun! one, two - looks great! now smile for me!”

your eyes grow wide when they land on the man posing in front, blinking hard as though that would make him disappear, and he would’ve seen the embarrassing look on your face if you weren’t quick to snap out of it just right before his eyes meet yours. seojun’s posture visibly slackens when he sees you. you watch as the photographer continues to click his camera at every second even as his instructions go ignored.

“handsome, isn’t he?” your co-worker whispers from beside you when she notices you staring, nudging your arm teasingly. “everyone loves him here.”

you break your eye contact with the apparent celebrity to look at your co-worker. “r- really? is he always, um, around?”

the girl nods. “lately he hasn’t been, but yeah, you’ll see him often,” she says before sending you a wink, “you’d have to get in line though.”

you mouth a knowing “ah” in response as you force out a laugh before returning your gaze to the photoshoot - cut short due to the model’s sudden lack of attention - when you find two pairs of eyes looking back at you, the photographer having turned around after hearing seojun mumble your name to himself.

“oh? y/n, you’re finally here?” the older man greets, gesturing you to come closer before turning to seojun. “you know her? you know each other?”

you stop right in front of them and spare the boy a glance to check his response but he doesn’t answer, eyes settled on something else at the opposite side of the room. you give the older man a polite bow.

“ahhh,“ the man nods as though he’s realized something obvious. he points a finger at you. “are you his girlfriend?”

the random question has you both reacting immediately, seojun’s head whipping to face the other man as he opens his mouth to say something, but you were quicker to exclaim a defensive ”no!“ while waving your hands to stress your denial, causing the boy to feel offended somehow. you swallow your discomfort when he finally turns to you with a look that’s nothing short of a glare.

“hyung, can we just hurry to the next shoot?” seojun asks impatiently.

what if you quit your job on the spot?

you consider the option.

“alright,” the man replies, patting the younger’s shoulder twice in agreement. “go get changed then. y/n will help you. we’ll get the set ready.”

and so now, you’re outside the men’s room, anxiously flittering back and forth as you wait for seojun to finish, a ready-to-be-worn grey coat in your hand along with a few makeup you’ve been told to bring with. you freeze as soon as you hear the cubicle open and you will your heart to calm for the last time.

“here,” you mumble as soon as he comes out, holding the piece of clothing up on either side so seojun can slip his arms in, which he does reluctantly.

the short silence is deafening. this being your first interaction in a long time, you feel a lump form in your throat at the rush of different conflicting emotions suddenly vying for your attention.

the past few weeks have been up and down. throughout its course, you have loved, hated, wanted, resented, and missed the man, questioned the rightness or wrongness of your decision to end the friendship, and so on… you couldn’t be consistent.

right now, it’s all at once.

but even if you can’t will your heart to tone down these feelings, or temporarily forget about them just long enough to get you through the afternoon, at least you’ll outwardly pretend they don’t exist. that much, you can do.

“hold on,” you stop seojun by the arm just as he’s about to walk away. you reach out to fix the back of his collar that’s been folded wrong with an impassive face and the little courage you’ve mustered, missing the way his body tenses at your touch and proximity…

when you’re done, you attempt to smoothen the wrinkles of his clothing next by swiftly brushing your hand through them until you feel yourself starting to become a little too comfortable with your actions. you allow yourself a singular glance at his face and you’re met with a gaze that almost already has the surface of your resolve breaking.

applying the powder onto his face is even more agonizing. you try to avoid eye contact with him as much possible, patting down on his skin with utmost gentleness so contrary to the raging emotions bottled within you. you feel his unmoving stare burning through your skin and you’re thinking maybe, for once, he’s actually able to see right through you.

maybe right now he could tell, that one right or wrong word from him could easily have you crawling through hot coals just to take him back.

and it also doesn’t help that he smells so damn good.

you try to make it quick.

handing seojun the lip balm next (surely, he can do it by himself), you step back to a safer distance when you hear a booming voice that causes you to jump.

“perfect! you look perfect! y/n,” the photographer beams as he approaches you, having just witnessed the entirety of your wordless exchange with the other. “how would you like to do the photoshoot with us?”

you raise your eyebrows in confusion the same time you hear the man beside you utter a loud “what?”, you glance at him and see disapproval written all over his face.

“but i already am…?”

ignoring the younger’s reaction, the photographer shakes his head when he says, “i mean, as a model.”

you gasp incredulously before waving your hands in refusal. “me? no, no way, i can’t. i’m sorry.”

“the other model didn’t show up,” he continues, “and we need to update the newly released product, so it’s kind of urgent.”

“hyung,” seojun interrupts, “not everyone can be a model!”

you feel your heart sting at his words, but as much as it offends you, he has a point. “he’s right… i shouldn’t. i’ve never tried this before.”

“that’s why you can do even better,” the older man encourages. “and i’ll pay you more, don’t worry.”

so here you are. the photoshoot is nothing less than unpleasant, awkward. the man beside you is fuming with annoyance - you can almost physically feel the heat of it. but it’s not like you don’t like this idea any less than he does, you just simply couldn’t turn down the money.

you just wish he would stop acting like a kid and at least look at the camera. what are you even supposed to do with him just standing there, put your arms around him? no way.

and so after several attempts by the photographer, like a mother to a child, at getting seojun to smile, turn around, look friendly, anything… to no avail, he deduces that seojun’s defiance is simply due to hunger, so he calls for a ten-minute break where he can grab him food.

when the man leaves, seojun lets out an exasperated sigh you feel the urge to roll your eyes at. he takes a seat on the couch behind you just as one of the other ladies in the room comes to set down a box of tissue on the table. you mutter a polite thanks.

after yourself, you grab the box and offer it to seojun, who only stares at the thing before looking away. honestly… you’re kinda thankful for his stubborn attitude. because being annoyed is better, far more tolerable than having to acknowledge what you actually feel deep down. you can save that for later.

frustratedly, you sigh when you take it upon yourself to pull out a tissue for him and wipe away his sweat, only to be stopped when he seizes your wrist and looks you up and down - like you’re nothing more than a nuisance. “what are you doing?”

you try not to be intimidated by his glare as you try to resist his grip. “did you not hear what she said? it’s so you’ll look nice in the photos.”

“forget it,” he says, pushing your hand further from his face. “go away.“

you exhale impatiently. “will you stop being difficult? it’s not like i’m doing this because i want to—”

once again, seojun is quick to take hold of your wrist, but this time he looks pissed enough to render you silent.

“i said stop.” a tense beat of silence before he continues, “is this that easy for you?”

you feel the air around you change at his words. your heartbeat starts to quicken at the sudden unease that coils in your belly. all the more so, when you find yourself pinned against the couch in the next second, seojun’s face merely a few inches above yours that you almost don’t hear it, over the thunderous pounding of your heart in your ears, when he says, “how long will you keep this up?”

you swallow nervously.

there it is - the confrontation you’ve been fearing.

but how are you supposed to answer, when the proximity of your faces is past the bounds of your being able to think straight?

in response, all you can do is stare at seojun wide-eyed and dumbfounded, much to his disappointment - especially when the interruption of the older man, who is more than enthusiastic to see you in perfect position (“that’s what i’m talking about!”), gives you the opportunity to look away and avoid the question further.

the next thing you know, seojun is hoisting you upright by the waist until your chests are almost pressed against each other, feeling his breath on your skin when he tells you, “i want to make this quick, so just cooperate.“

all throughout the shoot, seojun wordlessly directs you like the natural he is, like when he guides your arm around his shoulder, or when he angles his body or tilts his head towards yours… he makes it so every pose looks and feels as if your bodies had been made to fit together perfectly.

the more clicks and flashes, the more entangled with each other you become, the faster you feel your heart beat. he does everything so casually - and yet every touch lingers, tingles where it just left, somehow different from any of the platonic touches he’s initiated before… somehow feels achingly right.

soon, he’s pushing you as he leans forward, more gently than the first time, and when your back hits the sofa, your eyes lock in a silent exchange beyond your lagging mind’s comprehension. seojun’s gaze remains steady on yours, unwavering even as he brings your hand onto his shoulder where it rests uneasy.

at this point, it feels as if your heart is about to thump right out of your chest, or jump out of your throat. by now you’ve already drowned out your surroundings, entrapped in a bubble only you two shared and smelled only of his cologne. you try not to give yourself away under his intense scrutiny, eyes continuously flickering between yours…

shamelessly, they cast downwards, landing on your lips as you hold your breath…. and when he starts to lean in -

that’s when it becomes unbearable. thankfully, the oblivious photographer is there to yell out the end of the shoot right when you need it, there to remind you that this is only a photoshoot. but before that, seojun’s lips had only been merely a few millimeters apart from yours - one millisecond away from who knows what…

you have to get out of there, you think.

because now any progress - every painstaking step you’d taken at overcoming your unrequited feelings, your all-consuming pining for the man, in the previous weeks avoiding him for that purpose had been for nothing. so easily as you’d expected, seojun just shattered your carefully constructed but fragile barriers into heartbreaking fragments… so obliviously too.

you push him off of you immediately and head out of the room without a word, but one question in your mind.

why had he looked at you like that?

“i need relationship advice.”

jugyeong’s eyes widen, food halfway to her mouth. relationship is the least of the things she’d suspected seojun to be bothered by right now, especially with him denying that he liked anyone just a few weeks ago. “oh? what? really? i’m not really an expert on this subject though,” she says in a pout, but later sets down her chopsticks to give the other man her full attention. “lay it on me. i’ll try and be helpful.”

slowly, seojun swallows his food before he muses, “there’s this girl i like…” jugyeong nods at him to keep going. “but i’m going to move on.”

“huh? why? have you told her how you feel?”

seojun chuckles, “no.”

the girl frowns disappointedly. “but you’re already moving on?”

seojun smiles sadly to himself at the brief recall of memories, all pointing to one person. your unforgettable reaction that night when he’d confidently put you in suho’s friendzone, your description of your type in men (which, at one point in the past weeks, he’d foolishly hoped matched him), and that kiss. the kiss that cemented all his suspicions. the kiss you’d appearingly enjoyed with the other person then, versus the vivid memory of you pushing him off to get away from just him, after that photoshoot. “she likes someone else.”

the words leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

jugyeong blinks before straightening up in her seat. “do you like her a lot?”

“yeah…” seojun hums with another smile despite the heavy weight in his chest. “a lot.”

“so what if she likes somebody else? i didn’t expect you to be the type to give up on someone so easily.”

seojun stares at the clueless girl in guilt when he says, “but he likes her too.”

if only jugyeong knew.

“still. it’s not too late if they aren’t dating yet,” she argues, though the boy seems to have already given up on the girl in question. jugyeong sighs in understanding before flashing her friend a smile in attempt to lift his mood. “she must be some girl for you to have a crush on,” she teases, “she must be beautiful.”

seojun hums in agreement. “she is,” he says, chuckling to himself, “i have high standards, you know.”

“seriously,” jugyeong scolds, “then you should tell her soon and make her your girlfriend.”

seojun smiles weakly. “do you think… she would come to me if i did?”

turning your head to acknowledge the sudden appearance of your friend, your eyes follow suho as he takes a seat beside you in the nearly empty library. “how’d you know i was here?”

“where else would you be, cutting school?” he retorts, causing you to scowl.

“why, you don’t think i can do that?” you bite back defensively, slamming your book shut and pushing it aside so you can rest your cheek on the palm of your hand to look at the boy with full attention.

suho shrugs, “but you’d rather be doing homework. am i not right?”

“tch,” you utter in defeat, the corners of your mouth twitching as you try to hold back a smile. “am i that boring?”

“who says you are?“ he frowns, quick to react as though you’d offended him, “you’re far from boring.”

you blink, feeling your heart stutter over his simple words.

it’s always like this. you showing the slightest hint of self-doubt, self-deprecation - even jokingly - and suho catching you off-guard with a compliment or reassurance that always leaves you feeling a little bit better about yourself, sometimes special, even. and you never have to question the sincerity behind his words like you often would with other people, because he just always is, when it comes to you. it’s like he genuinely believes you’re special, and it’s his duty to make you know so.

but you don’t think it’s ever been like this. never been accompanied by a hint of that all-too-familiar feeling… one you were actually starting to think only seojun was capable of evoking, no one else. and yet here it is. faint, but there.

feeling all of a sudden uneasy under your stare, suho shifts in his seat, tearing his eyes off you to search for something to talk about. “what’s that?” he blurts, pointing to something behind you.

“hmm?” you hum, still tranced, sliding your arm off the table to look at the object of his attention: a cute medium-sized, pastel-colored paper bag that’s been sitting atop the table along with the rest of your belongings.

“oh, this…” your lips curl into a fond smile, briefly glancing at the bag’s contents even if you’d already taken a look at them earlier - candies, snacks, a pocket-sized stuffed animal meant to make you smile, along with a small thank you note, for being such a kind person, it says. “a gift.”

“gift to whom…?”

“from,” you correct, chewing on your bottom lip in a moment of contemplation before you continue, “from jugyeong.“

carefully, you gauge his expression and catch as it flickers with sadness that almost has you reaching out to comfort him, but, similarly, you feel something knot in your own chest at the thought of the girl as well.

jugyeong, who always smiled at you at every given opportunity, just as how seeing her always made you smile, too. earlier, she’d come to you and asked you to stick your hand out for a gift - a gift you didn’t quite deserve, honestly.

you’d seen her bare face, kept your promise not to tell anyone, but haven’t you just been doing what a normal person should? just why would you go around telling other people another person’s business, anyway?

and so at that moment, you understood - why everyone seemed to adore the girl. not only was she pretty enough to attract a lot of eyes, but she also had a beautiful, bright personality that unfailingly caught people’s hearts as well. yours wasn’t an exception. and neither was seojun’s or suho’s.

she reminds you of seyeon just a little bit.

lately, you’ve been finding yourself wanting to be around the girl, wanting to strike up a conversation, just genuinely wanting to be her friend. but, understandably, jugyeong was almost never alone. there was always sua, soojin… seojun.

of course.

no matter how much you’ve grown to like the girl, there is still that ache, the pang of jealousy that always came at the thought of her.

and now there is also that guilt…

slowly, your gaze shifts to suho when your train of thought leads you back to him. surprisingly, since that day, nothing has changed in the way you got along with each other. and as much as a relief it is to you that whatever happened hadn’t ruined your precious friendship, you can’t help the questions that still linger in your mind - can’t keep pretending like nothing happened.

”h- hey, um,” you begin, clearing your throat awkwardly and immediately catching the boy’s attention. his eyes flicker downwards, where he finds your hands starting to pick at the loose threads of your uniform. and just as he expects, “about the other day…”

for a few seconds, suho’s eyes linger on yours before they trail away and settle on something else at a distance. he looks neither tense or awkward, just calm, as though he’s already prepared himself for this conversation.

the truth is, he has. he’s thought about it more times than he could count in the past few days, replayed the scene over and over. he’s wondered what it meant for both you and him, if it would change anything, if he wanted to do anything about it… how much he liked it… and why he’d done it in the first place.

at that time, the urge to kiss you had been so strong. after all, his feelings for you had once been fiery and consuming long time ago. perhaps seojun acknowledging them all of a sudden had opened the cap of where they had previously been safely contained, and caused some them to resurface.

if he’d ever thought about making a move or confessing to you in the past, he had. several times. however, it wasn’t hard for him to tell then that his best friend liked you, too, just as how it was easy to figure out that you felt the same about the other.

that was the reason why he’d kept those feelings hidden well - he didn’t want to get in the way.

eventually, they died down, anyway. eventually, the ache of seeing his two best friends’ oblivious pining for each other became more bothersome than the ache of not having his feelings reciprocated by you. and that goes on until now - seeing you heartbroken these days just because the other boy was still failing to realize his own feelings frustrated him, too.

but he knows, deep down, seojun will come through. he just needs to come to his senses.

“it didn’t mean anything,” you say, voice breaking through his thoughts, “right?“

no. suho wants to say no. it did mean something to him. and the glint of hope in your eyes at the moment makes him want to tell the truth all the more - makes him think he actually stands a chance.

“yeah…” suho finally answers.

because despite all the uncertainty, one thing that’s clear to him is that in the past few days he’s been trying to understand his own heart, one person’s name had been insistent, loud and unignorable. that girl, he misses more than anything. and he knows, for sure, that this is the one thing he’d definitely regret not doing about if he didn’t. not him failing to confess to you.

once again, silence fills the air, and you feel the slightest disappointment in your stomach over this confirmation.

but that however doesn’t last long when you feel it quickly being replaced by relief. acceptance. you feel at ease - like a weight you didn’t know you’d been holding has been lifted off your chest.

you feel a little bit funny for having actually hoped for something else, too. because somehow, all of a sudden, that kiss, and all the thoughts and temporary feelings that came with it, feel like a distant memory to you now.

to suho, it would take a little more time to forget completely, but for now he feels the same relief as you do.

slowly, your mouth lifts into a genuine smile. “okay…”

you feel warmth spread across your chest when suho returns it. all the more so when his shoulders start to shake in a silent chuckle, eyes crinkling just a tiny bit more.

“okay.”

time heals, but it could also fester.

after having only told yourself things like pain is temporary and things just have to get worse before they get better in the past few weeks, you’re finally admitting to yourself that this isn’t it.

it’s always when you reach your bedroom at the end of the day where you let yourself crumble. you can’t count with all your fingers and toes the amount of times these four walls have witnessed you desperately reach out for your phone to call the boy. only almost. because every time, you managed to talk yourself out of it.

but as your mind continuously repeats suho’s words this afternoon, you realize just how much you’ve actually been waiting to hear it.

i think you should talk to seojun.

after all, it’s been a month and the ache still hasn’t gotten easier. the sad, dull ache - the longing for that person that seems to always permeate everything in the end, no matter how much you try to distract yourself from it.

isn’t confession the only thing that’s left?

or maybe you just need more time. another month, perhaps…

but no. seojun deserves to know the truth. one hundred percent of it. it’s what you both deserve anyway. you’re going to confess, have him reject you, and then you’ll finally be able to move on.

what have you got to lose now, anyway?

your thumbs hover over your keyboard.

but just as you’re about to compose your text, three dots suddenly appear at the bottom of your messages, indicating that the other is typing. you almost drop your phone at the sight.

your heart hammers against your rib cage as you spend a whole minute watching as those dots keep disappearing and reappearing on your screen. you wait for what feels like forever, until the words finally arrive, message unexpectedly short for the amount of time it had taken the other:

can we talk?

bff!seojun headcanons (bonus) | part nine

#true beauty #true beauty headcanons #han seojun x reader #lee suho x reader #hwang inyeop #cha eunwoo #lee suho #han seojun #tbhc #moon gayoung #im jukyung #lim jugyeong #hwang in yeop

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