#I love you Debbie I love you elf I love you Negatus

[griponthenews]

love that one popular tumblr account with the Negatus profile picture. I don’t follow them but whenever one of their posts is making the rounds I always smile and think “ahaha of course… another hit post from thee Negatus yonderland himself”

[debbeh]

can u give me a guide to the six idiots :33 like maybe with a picture of them n their names n who they play in the Big Three shows :33 pwetty peesse :33

UM YES!?

ok, you saw me earlier trying to format all the images so it's gonna be mostly my (ehhhh) descriptions of the characters and you gotta guess what they look like 😈

Ben Willbond

Yonderland:

Elder Vex (above): the one who says Deb-beh and has the coziest looking outfit I NEED IT RN PLZ and the Tom Cardy- esque hair and earring

Nick: the stick. Grumpy all the time cuz he's a stick >:(. Is also a portal between dimensions but whatevs

Horrible Histories

Mike Peabody :historical news reporter that wishes he were anywhere but here rn

King Henry, Alexander the Great: SkINy MaNdRiA, excellent hair, sniffed a guy

Ghosts

The captain: AKA James, makes a lotta noises, if you ever hear me going weeeahhhhhuuuueeeaaaaaahhhh, I'm referencing him, the gay one<3

Martha Howe-Douglas!

Yonderland!!

Debbie.

Debbie's evil twin sister (bossy boobs)

I just googled it: Rita, the Negatus simp AKA us, the demon that looks like how female animals are protrayed in Barbie movies

Horrible Histories!!!

Boudica (look up the song, it's rlly good), Cleopatra, every female historical figure

Pirate lady....<33333

Ghosts!

Lady Button (present day): Old disgruntled lady that pouts all the time and falls out of windows

Lady Button (flashback)

Mathew Baynton!!!

Yonderland!!!

Oracle: weird blue blob guy, Nigel, Darling

Nanny la roo: NUM NUMS!!!! - nanny that is also a kangaroo

Admiral Anous: Voldemort mf I hate him bc he hates Negatus>:(

Elder Choop: Croissant hair mf, says, "IDK WHY DON'T WE ASK UR MUM??"

Le Fox: French

THE BIRRDDDDD: AKA Thomas Payne, Batman but cooler

Oh yeah, and Elf: the elf shaped one, full name: Grintallin Gobscrew Crotell Fashanu F’naw Goplatz Holla-Holla, has multiple wives apparently and is in debt to the mob

Horible Histories (look all of them up, they are all hot)

Dick Turpin: play the song >:333, shot not one but two men dead!

D.I. Bones: the whakkus bonkkused

King Charles II: absolute party-er

Ghosts

Thomas Thorne, shot, dead! Absolute poetic simp for Allison, drowned himself in the lake ;( -cannot drown-

Jim Howik!!!

Yonderland

Elder Pressley: looks like Elvis, eats christmas tree ornaments

Crone: A sLaPper *wink wink*, has apparently gotten with everyone, goes eeeerrrrrrrrrrr all the time- sounds like a doorhinge, she is amazing

Neil: lhe most normal of the demons probably

Horrible Histories

A SHOUTY MAN!!! :does all the infomercials, will try to sell you piss

King George VI (above) : "oh yesss, dad's dead, I'm king..."

King Richard III: a sweet little guy<3 -according to the song, get's attacked by whasp

Ghosts

Pat Butcher: Greatest DJ in the AAARRREEEEEUHHHHH, killed by a child, AKA Pete in the American version

Larry Rickard

Yonderland

Detective Mounteback: very dumb detective with very large hat

Elder Ho Tan: trans Icon, doesn't like loud noises, absolute baby<3

Sue: above, the lady with the gun from the episode I showed you

Horrible Histories

Bob Hale: weather report, needs a hellicopter and a nice cup of tea, basically Bill Wurtz

Lol knight with shit on head, Aztec guy, George III friend who slays so hard; "ConGRatu-VerY-LaTiOns your... *MAgEsTy*"

Ghosts

Humphrey: keeps getting left on roofs and shelves, does NOT know French smh

Robin: 5,000 yo ghosts, once saw a cool butterfly, KNOWS FRENCH! Got stuck by lightning and now he can turn on lights

and finally... the moment you've been waiting for...

Simon Farnaby!!!

Yonderland!!!

Negatus<333: Silly guy try to take over Yonderland but is just a lil guy, has an evil lair, uses The Font of Orris (cauldron thing that lets you see everything) as a hot tub, get's bullied by all the other overlords, wears pjs with houses on them.

Elder Flowers!!!: Long hair and lack of shirt, vegetarian hippie of the group, wants his clothes to be veGONE, "all you need is love, brothers... oh, and food"

Horrible Histories

Emperor Caligula: the wakkus bonkkus guy

Marcus Licinius Crassus: Knockoff Bassline Junkie song

Ghosts:

Jullian!!!: Died conducting an affair with his secretary!!!, is eternally sorta drunk, does the hand thing, only ghost that can interact with stuff, makes silly EEERREREEEEE noise when he's trying to move something, his name is Trevor in the American version, sad when there's no porn on da TV ;(, has no pants BTW

Thanks for coming to my TEDTALK!!!

Lemme know if I missed anything!

[spacerangersam]

If, in an alternative universe, Yonderland wasn't cancelled abruptly after the Christmas special and instead got renewed for a 4th series/season or at least the Six Idiots instead wanted to continue it one last time, what kind of storylines would you personally like to have seen explored in that hypothetical 4th series/season and why?

I've been thinking of a hypothetical 4th season for like a week now, so thank you for the chance to talk about it!

The main thing I would love to see, and basically what the entire season would be centred around in my mind, is Debbie becoming an Elder like her father! I think it'd be a nice way for her to connect with the dad she never got to meet, and just a way to cement that she'll always have a home in Yonderland/prove just how important she is to everyone there. It would be especially sweet if she could have her father's old robe and broach but idk if that would even be possible.

And I think it could have led to some interesting situations/episodes, ie:

an episode where Debbie has to go on a fetch quest to get some item that's needed to become an Elder. The Elders claim all who wish to join the council must go on this perilous quest, but after a bit of needling, they admit yeah, no, we just lost it and we need you to go get it. I would love for Negaus to get involved, like, he's determined to stop her and ruin everything- but he's bad at it and keeps accidentally helping Debbie. She doesn't realise that until the end, and when she does she's just like 'Oh! Thanks! Want to come to the ceremony? :)'. He does, he was just throwing a hissy fit because he didn't get an invitation. (Ho-Tan did send one, she just got his name wrong and it ended up with a Nagetus instead)

(Honestly, I just really want a Negatus arc where he does completely become a good guy who just awkwardly hangs around the Elders and Debbie while denying to his demons that he's good now. I think they kinda did that in the final season but I also think they kind of undid it at the end, which is a shame)

an episode where, amongst all the planning for the ceremony, Debbie's a bit sad she can't invite Pete and the kids. She admits that Elf+Nick after being mopey all episode, at which point they say no one ever told her she had to keep Yonderland a secret. She just did that (because that's the fantasy trope, that's what you do, keep it a secret) and no one thought to correct her.

an episode where she does finally, after multiple interruptions, tell Pete and bring him to Yonderland. He of course loves it, and it takes Debbie like an hour to talk him down from the idea of moving there. He immediately latches onto Negatus, thinks he's the coolest thing ever, and Negatus is very confused but happy with the attention. Pete almost dies about seven times, but it does nothing to dampen his glee. The kids think it's alright. They'd like it better if the wi-fi was good.

an episode where Debbie, Negatus and Pete go on a quest to sort out some squabble in a nearby town. Negatus and Pete are separated from Debbie and have to team up to 'save the day'. Meanwhile, she just ended up at someone's house, enjoying a cup of tea and a chat.

an episode of Elders in the real world hijinks. I think we could do with more of that, especially if it led to Debbie and Ho-tan having a clothes montage set to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. They deserve it.

and of course, an episode with big, grand 'crowning' ceremony with the Elders, Pete, and Negatus desperately trying to make sure everything goes to plan and refusing to let Debbie know/help, Elf and Nick doing their best to distract her. Somehow, it all works out in the end though and Debbie becomes an Elder, surrounded by her all of her family

[commonguttersnipe]

Here's my personal fancast for the Monty Python fancast version AU of Yonderland:

Debbie Maddox - Carol Cleveland

Chief Elder Choop - John Cleese

Wise Elder Vex - Graham Chapman

Lord Elder Pressley - Terry Jones

Scribe Elder Ho-tan - Michael Palin

Vice Elder Flowers - Eric Idle

Elder Trevor the Blob - Terry Jones/Terry Gilliam

Negatus - John Cleese

Elf - Michael Palin

Old Crone - Terry Jones

Imperatrix - Carol Cleveland/Connie Booth

Neil, Geoff & Rita - Michael Palin, Terry Jones and Carol Cleveland

Nick the Stick - Graham Chapman

Philip of Woolworth - Graham Chapman

Peter Maddox/Bob Peter Peter - Graeme Garden (it works imo, ok!)

What do you personally think of my personal fancast? I'd love to hear your thoughts!!

I love it! In my opinion, I think that Ho-Tan should be played by Eric but other than that, I think it’s perfect!

[ailendolin]

ThemThere Thursday - 01 - Yonderland

Title: Menace [AO3]

Characters: Negatus & Debbie, the demons, the twins, Voltari

Prompt: Negatus adopting his mangey (compliment) little Yorkie. - Prompt sent in by the lovely @tonystarksfabulousass.

A/N: While this is a sequel to my fic Scratchy, it's not really necessary to have read it to understand this one.

Prompts are open, so if you want me to write a story for you just send me an ask with the fandom, characters and your prompt. I’m writing for Ghosts, Yonderland, Horrible Histories and Bill at the moment.

————

Menace

“Don’t you think it’s time to get a little of that feeling Scratchy gave you back?”

Negatus could still hear Debbie’s quiet laugh ringing in his ear when he’d asked her, “Are you telling me to get another dog?”

“No, not quite,” she had said. “But I’ll gladly go with you to the shelter if you’re thinking of adopting one.”

He had told her he would think about it – and he had, every day and every night since her birthday party. Now that the idea had been planted in his head, he couldn’t seem to get rid of it anymore. No matter where he looked or what he did, something always reminded him of it; be it Jeff every time he went a little too feral and nearly shredded the newspaper instead of giving it to him like a good little demon, or Neal who seemed to have adopted a stray flutterbug he’d found half-dead in the Chamber of Evil Misdeeds. It was even worse when he left his Fortress. Just yesterday he had seen that good for nothing Payne give his son some sort of lizard, of all things. The lad had beamed up at his father as if Thanktival had come early, looking like he was about to cry. Negatus gave the poor lizard three days tops before it found its head parted from its body and up on one of Payne’s walls.

He’d always despised the old bugger.

All of this made it incredible hard not to give in to temptation and ask Debbie if she’d really meant what she said. Telling himself that he sort of already had a pet in Jeff or that dogs were too high maintenance with their walks three times a day and special dog food and all the toys they left lying around didn’t help either because he’d inevitably remember how kind and loyal they were too. How they managed to calm you down and make you smile even when you felt like crying just a moment ago by simply looking at you with their big brown eyes and wagging their stupid tails.

Negatus closed his eyes and sighed. He’d never stood a chance, had he? Even though he had lost Scatchy years ago, he’d never forgotten how safe he’d felt with the little guy curled up next to him at night. There had been precious little in his childhood that hadn’t terrified him one way or another but Scratchy had made those fears disappear simply by being there.

Negatus rarely allowed himself to think about him these days but when he did he missed him so fiercely it felt like his heart was missing a piece. A new dog wouldn’t change that, wouldn’t ever replace Scratchy – he knew that. But maybe … maybe it would give his life a new purpose now that being evil had gone out of fashion so spectacularly with Cuddly Dick’s defeat.

“Demons!” he called, decision made. It only took a second for Rita, Jeff and Neil to appear out of nowhere.

“You called, oh not-so-dark Lord?” Rita asked.

“Fetch me my helmet. We need to find the elf. I’m going to get myself a dog.”

Rita and Neill shared a look that didn’t seem as surprised as Negatus had expected it to be. Jeff merely cocked his head to the side. “I thought you were a cat person.”

“Ugh,” Negatus said and shoved him away.

————

“We can’t take the demons with us to the shelter, Negatus,” Debbie said for the third time.

Also for the third time, Negatus frowned at her. “Why not? They’re my minions – that’s almost like pets, innit? No one will notice a few more scraggly beasts running around the shelter. I mean, look at them.”

The demons all gave a little wave. Debbie groaned.

“They,” she said, pointing at the demons, “are your employees. We’ve talked about this, Negatus.”

“Have we?” Negatus asked, glancing at Rita and Neil. They nodded, and so did Ben and Hayley who sat next to them. “Okay, fine. But it won’t be my fault if they won’t get along with the dog.”

Jeff looked up from the drawing he was making. “Dog? I thought we were here to see James McAvoy.”

Before Negatus could do so much as roll his eyes, Debbie marched over to the TV and turned on the film with the magical cupboard the demons and children had been watching the last time Negatus had been in Debbie’s world.

“Not again,” Neil groaned at the same time as Ben and Hayley shouted, “Mr Tumnus!” drowning out Jeff’s equally excited, “Look! That’s him!”

“That’ll keep them busy,” Debbie murmured before she added a little more loudly, “All right, kids, I’m off with Negatus. Daddy’s upstairs fixing the leak in the bathroom so if you need anything, just shout for him.”

She gave both Ben and Hayley a kiss before she took off Negatus’s helmet and gestured for him to say goodbye as well. He waved at the demons. “See you later, losers.”

“Unbelievable,” Debbie muttered as she pulled him out of the room. “Pete! We’re going! Love you!”

“Love you more!” Pete’s voice echoed down the stairwell, followed by a loud thump and a quiet, “Ow,” that Debbie chose to ignore.

“Shall we?”

Negatus hadn’t known what to expect when she told him to get into the car – something similar to a taxi ride in Yonderland, perhaps, where the slow pace allowed one to really appreciate the scenery. It certainly wasn’t Debbie driving them to the shelter at neck-breaking speed and nearly getting them both killed on the way. She even had the audacity to laugh in his face when she saw him desperately clinging to the door upon their arrival. “Bit too fast?”

Negatus merely glowered at her.

The shelter didn’t look like much at first glance, he found, and that impression didn’t change when they stepped inside. He considered the possibility that it was meant to appear a little rundown and uninviting – he had never been in a shelter in Debbie’s world before, after all, so who knew how these places were supposed to look. But he got the distinct impression that lack of funding made it difficult, perhaps even impossible, for the staff to give the animals the love they needed despite obviously pouring their hearts and souls into their work. The took good care of the animals, yes – all of them had food and water bowls, as far as Negatus could tell, and sometimes even the odd little toy – something that couldn’t be said for the hunting dogs his father used to own or the horses Negatus had watched wasting away in the dark stables. But good care alone wasn’t enough. If he had learned anything from Scratchy then that food and water might be needed to survive but were rarely enough to live.

As he went down the corridor and looked at the kennels with Debbie at his side, sad eyes glanced up at him wherever he looked. Some of the dogs came running up to the doors, barking in excitement; others curled up in the corner, whimpering. Some didn’t move at all, already having resigned themselves to their fate.

It tugged at Negatus’s heart, and he found himself stopping and turning to Debbie with a helpless look on his face. “How am I supposed to just … choose one? I mean, look at them.”

He gestured at all the sad faces around them, each and every one of them deserving of a home.

After a moment of silent consideration, Debbie said, “Maybe you’re not supposed to.”

At first, Negatus thought she was telling him to take all of them home. While he certainly would have the space in his Fortress, he didn’t have the time to take care of that many dogs nor the capacity to love them as they deserved.

Debbie gently touched his arm. “Maybe someone else is meant to choose.”

She nodded towards the caretaker who had been showing them around and was currently kneeling in front of a door, trying to coax one of the dogs closer, and Negatus finally understood.

————

Asking to see, “The dog everyone just walks past and no one wants,” ended up with him walking out of the animal shelter with a three-legged and half-blind Yorkshire Terrier – that’s what Debbie and the caretaker had called the pitiful little bundle of matted fur in his arms, anyway. Apparently, she had been found on the streets half a year ago and the caretakers had lovingly called her Princess even though she gnarled and growled at anyone who came too close to her.

Negatus instantly fell in love. Princess as a name, however, wouldn’t do so he had chosen a new, appropriately evil name for her that was similar enough to her old name for her not to get too confused.

“Demons!” he called when Debbie opened the front door. “Meet your new housemate – Menace!”

Rita and Neil gave him looks that clearly said he had lost his mind and carefully kept their distance from the little growling thing in his arms. Jeff, on the other hand, came right up to him and reached up to pet Menace without any hesitation.

“She’s fluffy,” he declared happily even though most of Menace’s fur was awfully matted and in desperate need of both a bath and a cut. She bared her teeth at him but allowed the touch. “Aw look, she’s smiling at me!”

“Right,” Rita muttered and took another step back as Ben and Hayley rushed past her. They were crowding the little dog before Debbie had a chance to stop them.

“She smells,” Hayley said with a mix of disgust and delight. Ben scrunched up his nose and nodded in agreement but didn’t let that stop him from petting the dog.

Menace, it turned out, was – well, not exactly friendly with children and demons but willing to tolerate them. The same couldn’t be said for most adult humans. Debbie wasn’t allowed to pet her and neither were the Elders when Negatus brought her around for the first time, much to Choop’s disappointment. She seemed to like Nick and Elf well enough, though, and loved to play fetch with the Youngers.

There was only one exception to her no-adults rule aside from Negatus: Voltari. Whenever Menace saw him, she would follow him around like a – well, like a lost puppy. Negatus was sure Voltari kept sneaking her treats when he wasn’t looking but so far hadn’t been able to catch him doing it.

“That’s my dog, you know? Get your own if you want one so bad.”

Voltari shared an amused look with Dissectus before he pointedly gave Menace a scratch behind her ears. “Oh no, we’re just fine, aren’t we, sweet girl?”

Menace, the little traitor, closed her eyes in bliss.

He might not have been completely sure about getting a dog at first but now that he had her, Negatus couldn’t imagine life without Menace anymore. She slept next to him at night, licked his face in the morning to wake him up, chased the demons around the kitchen table for fun during breakfast and nearly killed him twice a day by leaving one of her toys lying around in an unfortunate place – though that could have also been Jeff, now that Negatus thought about it. Most importantly, she made him laugh with her goofy antics and silly barks – more than anyone else had in a very long time.

She wasn’t Scratchy – and that was okay because Scratchy would always have a place in his heart that no one else could possible take. There was space there for Menace too, and Negatus liked to think that Scratchy would be happy for him.

“He would have liked you,” he murmured fondly as he lifted Menace up onto his lap. She growled but closed her eyes in bliss when he petted her behind her ears, making him chuckle fondly. “You little menace, you.” It was nice to have a buddy again.

[sonnet-of-anarchy]

Thanks for the tag @catboyrightsdefender !!

TV questionnaire

List 5 favourite shows (in no particular order) and answer questions accordingly

1. Good omens

2. Yonderland

3. Ghosts

4. Inside No9

5. The mighty boosh

1. Who is your favourite character in 2?

Kendall my love!! (But will always appreciate Negatus asw)

2. Who is your least favourite character in 1?

Gabriel. Grrrr.

3. What's your favourite episode of 4?

Probably ‘the stakeout’

4. What is your favourite season of 5?

Season 3 >>>

5. What's your favourite relationship in 3?

You’d have never guessed but Robin/Julian

6. Who is your anti relationship in 2?

I’ve seen some people ship Debbie and elf?? Yeah…

7. How long have you watched 1?

Since it came out in 2019!!

8. How did you become interested in 3?

BBC recommendation just after S3 came out <3

9. Who is your favourite actor in 4?

Reece!!

10. Which show do you prefer 1, 2 or 5?

2 has the edge, but closely followed by the other two :)

11. Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3?

3!!

12. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

Probably that actress from ‘and the winner is’ because then I’d get an award at least

13. How would you kill off your favourite character in 5?

I suppose a fitting demise for Howard would be a heart attack as a result of the destruction of stationary village haha

14. Would a 3/4 crossover work?

I suppose for a comedy ep it might but the darker stuff might turn out a little goofy…

15. Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple.

The 4 horseman of the apocalypse should be some poly power group (not two characters sorry)

16. Overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5?

3 💖

Tagging @ginevralinton @gethisshithumptyfuckingdumptied @the-boosh-is-loose @l1feisapigsty if you fancy!! <3

[alilsakurablossom]

Debbie and Negatus friendship?

Debbie & Negatus headcanons/drabbles

-They are the friends that don't understand why they are friends they just are.

-they have a collection of nicknames for eachother (or well more like playful insults back and forth)

-Negatus was 'besties' with Kendall so he has picked up a few fashion tips (I mean he was fashionable already but still), he basically gives Debbie outfit advice in return when she gets the time she repaints his nails for him.

-"why peter of all ppl?" "Whats wrong with my husband?!" "Nothingggg I'm really happy for you guys 😀"

-they watch football together occasionally and often play it together (with some others I'm thinking about the elf rescue mission gang) they have a lil yonderland football league.

-they vent about their kids (Debbie's twins and negatus's demons to eachother)

-Debbie got him some black and dark grey with orange beaks rubber ducks to fit with his 'aesthetic'. Negatus loves them and they all have evil sounding names

These were all I could think of sorry there arent many of them!! But I hope these are okay!! I love Debbie and negatus so much!!

Thank you so much for your ask!!

[pointnumbersixteen]

Random Notes from a 6:30AM Re-Watch of the Front Bits of Wizard Bradley Because Sleep Is Something That I Don’t Do Apparently

1) I mean, I’d probably go to the backyard for a 50 pound note when I was sick, too. 50 pounds is 50 pounds.  

2) Negatus’s black nail polish is a mood. 

3) I really enjoy Larry’s presentation of the torture/execution device installer as, like, an average workaday builder-type.

4) “You used to be a smashing lad.”

5) John (as played by Ben) is insufferable and the worst. I’m so pleased to see him killed by Grinch-form-Simon kissy-wissey. 

6) And then his female companion, Mary, frees her hair and shouts ‘At last, Jenny, I’m coming!’ and runs off. That’s exactly the twist we needed.   

7) And Nick the Stick (also voiced Ben) “Yes, I think we’re all quite relieved he’s dead.” 

8) ‘Popplewhacked.’

9) I love the bit where the puppet yells at the ventriloquist and the dummy if they wanted an ale and it’s the puppet that responds and the ventriloquist that topples when separated. 

10) Ben’s Wizard Bradley-heckler is also the worst. Too bad he doesn’t get scooped up by a giant green monster, too.

11) Debbie’s face when Wizard Bradley calls elf ‘little girl.’ 

12) Ben as the tavern keep is really obnoxious, too. I feel like this is just the day for Ben as obnoxious supporting characters. 

13) Bar Yoko. Tee hee. 

14)  “It actually looks like a wand!” 

15) I, too, fancy a free meal. 

16) “I get signal in here?” ...I don’t even get signal in parts of my living room. 

[pinketts]

Yonderland Series 3: Ratings and Favourites

A Rising Tide: 10 out of 10 Tuneantulas

Stephen Fry!

“Oh good. More fate.”

“If I had fingers, you know which one I’d be showing you.”

“Dick got slammed in jail.”

I want one of the baby Tummy Telly things.

Poor infatuated Rita. Still weird though.

[”Still no talking?”] “Still no mouth!”

Why does Jim keep being Elvis type characters?

Elder Pressley’s eyebrow waggle when Elder Flowers suggests Debbie takes off her robes.

[”This is a big decision”] “Maybe you should sleep with it?”

Elders 11: 10 out of 10 My Time With The Chosen Ones (In Waferback)

James McAvoy reference: 1

“When you look at me, do you see a number two?”

Parvuli reprise!

How’s Debbie meant to explain the replica Nick to Pete?

[”I feel like an idiot”] “We can get you one, we have loads!”

THIS IS TOO EMOTIONAL STOP.

She left her replica stick. Monster.

Why does there need to be a liar with a bad wig in charge in both our world *and* the fantasy world?

“Dick loves us and we love Dick!”

Imagine being hugged to death by Stephen Fry. Negatus is oddly into that.

[”We shall fight to the death!”] ”Perhaps a strongly worded letter?”

[”Kill them all!”] “Ah, the National Health for you!”

The Parvuli are all hot for Debbie.

“The only way is up, baby. Sorry, bit over familiar.”

Vex and Choop bickering is adorable.

“Oh God, it’s an idiot convention.”

The Bird and the Bee: 10 out of 10 Charming Millionaire Playboys with Legitimate Business Interests

Favourite episode this season!

That dog make up is amazing.

“I am...the Bird!” [”And I’m the Bee!”] “I don’t know this man!”

“As I said to you on our wedding night: stop worrying, and prepare to be excited!”

Top quality accents in this episode.

I could watch the Bird/Chris Payne walking to the door in that kimono thing alll day.

“Then I fell out of the vat of glue and into the pillow factory, and that explains why I look like this! Anyhoo...”

“Show these people the door, open it, and throw them out!”

“Hot Eagle? I think I killed the bass player...”

“Dodderiness is the first thing they teach you in butler school.”

“Looks like some kitty cat has strayed into...a pub.”

“You’d better leave now, pussycat, or I’ll scare you so hard they’ll have to change your litter tray..twice!”

Mr Payne is a dick but he’s very accepting of Archibald’s potential hidden life.

Dick Smell(s)

Pete is a bit of a sucker really isn’t he?

 Boo: 10 out of 10 High Stakes Cake Bakes

The Wisp! The 50 50 Man! The Old Gasman!

[”Hearts and minds!”] “Kidneys and legs!”

Elf parties hard.

“We’re a team. Brains and beauty.” [”I fail to see what you bring to the party.”]

I’m not generally scared of clowns but...no thanks.

Some beautiful cross dressing here.

[”Magic Mike! Sexy strippers. Have you seen it?”] “...Have you seen it?”

“Let’s start this war!” [”Stop it.”] “Ooh, lucky I checked!”

I like that one kid at the party is in a suit and tie.

The Negatus Redemption: 10 out of 10 Mad Dog Faces

Ah, the old “whoopsie, drove into the sign” trick.

Potato, pa-too-too.

“Let me know when this stops being confusing.”

This camoflage guy is very Mighty Boosh.

“I didn’t think much of Negatus the first time he told me to shut up.”

You always have time to alphabetise the library!

Negatus thinks dead dog stories get the ladies going.

“They can think again, right Ron?” [”No, I’m left Ron."]

“We have two prisoners who’ve turned into pillows.”

“Where’s Mr Fluffykins?” [”He’s called Gerald!”] “They come pre-named!”

Swapsies: 10 out of 10 Terms and Conditioners

“Make people believe you will do anything for Dick.”

I wish I could get “pep, pep, pep” into more conversation.

“I’m not leaving an elf to be the mother of my children and the wife of my husband.”

DELF, Deb-Elf, DILF?

“There were buried right where we stand!” [”Who were?”] “Three men, and a little lady.”

“Amnesia?” [”Hahaha!”] “That’s not funny, it’s a serious condition!”

“I’ve just had your husband’s tongue in my mouth, and I do not want to stick around for the sequel!”

“I’ve learnt an awful lot from being inside you.”

Miss Smashing: 10 out of 10 Spots of Doom...er... Opportunity

You know, they make a big deal in the promos about Debbie needing to get home for her kids but... Pete takes them everywhere and picks them up?

“Telly’s working! Just needed more ham.”

“I saw someone burning a bra. No, not a bra. A witch. And she burned just as well as any man!”

[”You did get your pillow chocolate?”] “Ohhh, that’s what was in my hair!”

The Bird! John of Temple Meads! The Crone!

“I’d like to work with children on animals.”

These greasy haired security guards are great.

“You can either like it or put a lump on it!”

Go on Debbie!

The Time Being: 10 out of 10 Swamps of Budget Prohibitive Monsters

“Morning, Wood!”

Why do evil people always explain their plot to the good guys?

The rewind thing is so good.

“His Darkness has abandoned us more times than I can count. And a lot more times than Jeff can count.”

Tut tut, Pete. Forgery is naughty.

I wish I had the Time Being’s powers.

“Let’s get back to the previous present.” [”You mean back to the future?”]

Pete is the most oblivious man ever.

“Whacking Dick didn’t work.”

Nick’s thing is...weird. Let’s not dwell on it.

Seeing the Elders dead makes me sad, even if it was only for a second.

“What the hell is a conjugal visit?”

[rainbowsxxdiamondsxxsparklesxx]

"Pacify her" one shot yonderland fanfic

Once again Debbie was in yonderland and it was in chaos due to her twin sister Imperatrixs evilness. But Debbie knew all to well that Imperatrix didnt act alone, she had a companion named Negatus who did her dirty work for her while she watched over him. Just then there was a loud bang and Debbie and Elf made themself scarce behind a tree. "Whats happening Elf?" Debbie whispered and Elf pointed at a dark portal and out walked Negatus followed by Imperatrix. "Negatus, You will bring the elders to my domain. Its about time they recognised the powers i possess and dont fail me this time otherwise, you know what will happen" Imperatrix said menacingly before retreating back into the portal. Negatus looked worn out and for some reason, Debbies heart went out to him, she wondered what it would be like if Negatus broke away from Imperatrixs control. Tired, blue boy walks my way Holding a girls hand That basic bitch leaves finally Now I can take her man Someone told me stay away from things that arent yours but was he yours if he wanted me so bad? "Debbie what are you thinking?" Elf asked, wondering why Debbie was looking at Negatus. "I think thats a sweet man inside Negatus. He needs to get away from Imperatrix." Debbie said and she started walking towards him. Pacify her Shes getting on my nerves You dont love her Stop lying with those words Pacify her Shes getting on my nerves You dont love her Stop lying with those words "Negatus!" Debbie called out and Negatus turned around triumphantly as his minions yelled, "Its the chosen one master!" "Yes i can see that! Debbie of Maddox, you are mine at last. Finally Imperatrix wil be pleased!" He cried out. Debbie held out her arms, "Wait Negatus. I just wanna talk to you. I have to ask you something. Are you happy working for Imperatrix?" Debbie asked sympathetically. Negatus was stunned. Normally he never dared say how he truly felt in fear of execution but Imperatrix wasnt around. "Course Im not! She drives me mad! All these demands she gives me!" Negatus cried as he sat on the ground. I cant stand her whining Wheres her binky now? And loving her seems tiring So boy just love me down down down Someone told me stay away from things that arent yours but was he yours if he wanted me so bad? "Imperatrix is dangerous, shes doing all she can to try and take over the realm and yet she will not share it with me. I feel she is using me." Negatus said and Debbie was shocked by his honesty. It was almost as if the real Negatus was emerging. "You cant let her bully you. Pacify her if you have too." Debbie said soothingly and she patted him on the shoulder. Pacify her Shes getting on my nerves You dont love her stop lying with those words Pacify her shes getting on my nerves you dont love her stop lying with those words Meanwhile back at Imperatrixs lair, Igor was keen to speak to Imperatrix who was reading the second scroll that Negatus had gotten for her and she smiled, this prophecy would make her the supreme ruler of yonderland. "Oh mighty imperatrix, i have news regarding Negatus and this is something to get your teeth into. I mean inform you." Igor said. "Do tell." She said continuing to read the scroll. "It appears hes making friends with the chosen one and hes planning to desert you." Imperatrix stood up. "This cannot be! He cant join sides with my sister I wont allow it!" She shouted and she summoned the portal once more. Pacify her Shes getting on my nerves You dont love her Stop lying with those words Negatus felt much better for talking to Ddbbie as did his minons now he had to tell Imperatrix he was joining forces with Debbie and abandoning evil for good. Debbie and elf smiled as Negatus went to throw of his helmet but then..... Pacify her Shes getting on my nerves You dont love her stop lying with those words Pacify her shes getting on my nerves you dont love her Stop lying with those words Imperatrix stood in front of Negatus and she was holding the secind scroll in her hand and Negatus grinned, forgeting about his earlier promise and he followed her back into the portal. "Well it worth a try i suppose." Elf mumbled and he and Debbie headed off to see the elders. The end

[debbeh]

Recap of every Yonderland episode but only until my legs fall asleep and there is no context.

Season 1

Debbie is your run-of-the-mill mother who likes to eat crisps and watch TV. For some reason an Elf appears in her Cupboard and she’s all like wtf, why is there an elf in my cupboard. And Elf is like, wtf I have a name? And the stick he’s holding is like, oi, my names nick. Anyways, Debbie and Elf consult the wise Elders about why she’s here and they’re like, idk ask the oracle and the oracles like, yeah you’re the chosen one or whatever. You gotta like save the place from evil or whatever- oh also your gonna meet some guys named Jon or Robert or something. Debbie’s still like wtf but then she stops a fight between some goofy little guys and everyone’s goin crazy cuz woah! Not klling people? Crazy. And Debbies like bro its just commons sense. I just had to tell these guys to apologize- what are they’re names again? JOHN AND ROBERT!!! (air horn + vine boom) OH SHIT. and then, what’s this? After credit! ITS FUCKING NEGATUS

She wants to figure more about why it is foretold that she has to save Yonderland or whatever so they go to this temple to find a scroll (insert literal lesbian love story that they never talk abt again) and they get a wizard to help. Yada yada yada… they get in the temple but they lose the scroll, oh well. Anyways, hm this Negatus guy sounds pretty nasty huh?

Yoooo Negatus totally burned down a temple and now all the monks are homeless. Negatus sends his demons to hunt down Debbie and the monks. Whats this? The monks can lie now??? Wahoo, Negatus gets yelled at. So sad. 

OMG ITS THE OLYMPICS BUT WITH KISSSSING?????

Debbie misses her kids but the elders are like, oooh we make song for you and make your hair pretty and she’s like ok I guess I’ll stay. 

King what’s his face says he knows where another prophetic scroll is- sike he just wants to bang her- oh no negatus is here! But don’t worry! He has no pants! Negatus gets stabbed in the foot and Debbie learns the value of sharing

Speaking of idiots, Debbie gets kidnapped by a whole town of them! They’re called Ninnies and they wear potato sacks (so sad). This episode is basically The Giver. She teaches them that reading: good and that they shouldn’t be giving Negatus precious diamonds for free. Meanwhile, Negatus, in an attempt to woo his boss, a mysterious shadowey figure, hires a guy named Kenall (the twinkiest twink you’ve ever seen) to cut the diamonds he stole so he can buy an army. Sike, kendall is an idiot. The end

Negatus dresses up as the embodiment of Bo Burnhams's Shit and tricks Debbie into going to his lair. Little does Negatus know, Debbie has friends and ALLLLMMMMOOOOSSTTTT gets Negatus to see the power of friendship but last minutes hes like byeeeee bitches!!! And kidnaps her (this is a common theme). Luckily her friends save her last minute but as she is teleporting out using Nick the stick who is also the portal to her cupboard (I forgot to mention), she sees Negatus’s boss and is like huhhh, you look awful familiar……..

End of season one!!!

Season 2

Negatus buys mech suit to kill debbie, Elders go on lockdown and do a lord of the flies. I love this episode but I DO NOT remember what was important abt this one besides Evil boss lady get mad at Negatus >:(

Debbie goes to a fair and solves a murder mystery, Negatus gets audited.

Knight flirts with Debbie and Debbie teaches him the value of realizing you are geh. 

Ninnies are back but they’re all finance bros but they don’t pay their workers. Debbie helps them fix that so Elders can get pillows.

Debbie finds out that mysterious boss lady is her twin sister!!! Saves Mathew Baynton (AKA gross kangaroo nany) from a gas leak. 

Debbie joins the french revolution

Debbie saves an endangered species with phalic-ass noses.

TRANS HOTAN TRANS HOTAN <3. Big showdwon with evil twin

The end!

Season 3 (last season)

One of the old elders is back and Negatus does not turn into a gross idiot for 10 minutes

Oh no! Old elder is evil and Elders go into hiding, Debbie is framed and they break into their throne room thingy

Nobody trusts debbie but she helps knockoff batman find his true passion in becoming Mr. Cav (Accounting teacher for the 5 of you that are reading this that I don't know in person)

Drag bake off becomes war zone and Negatus gets his feet massaged.

Negatus arrested for writing Dick smellz on a wall. Debbie helps him break out- SO CLOSE TO A CHARACTER REDEMPTION ARC ITS NOT EVEN FUNNy

NEGATUS DO SOME SPYING VERY SILLLY Y GOOFY

Beauty contest but if you’re not pretty you fucking die

Time travel take da pain away. 

Christmas Special!!!

Sike, its called Thanktival here (and there’s 143 days instead of 12). Chompus eat da presents. Negatus redemption arc FINALLY???????? He become santa, insert balls joke x 5. Elders’s kiddos compete in a singing competition and wow everyone with this thing called carols????? Elder Vex wears sweater. Balls joke. Negatus go sleepy in PJs. the end :3

:3

[debbeh]

Same recap but I removed everything.

Season 1

Debbie watch TV. Elf is like, wtf I have a name? And the stick he’s holding is like, oi, my names nick. Woah! Not klling people? Crazy. JOHN AND ROBERT!!! (air horn + vine boom) OH SHIT. ITS FUCKING NEGATUS

insert literal lesbian love story that they never talk abt again. Yada yada yada… Anyways, hm this Negatus guy sounds pretty nasty huh?

Yoooo Negatus totally burned down a temple and now all the monks are homeless. Whats this? The monks can lie now??? Wahoo, Negatus gets yelled at. So sad.

OMG ITS THE OLYMPICS BUT WITH KISSSSING?????

oooh we make song for you and make your hair pretty

- oh no negatus is here! But don’t worry! He has no pants!

This episode is the Giver.). Sike, kendall is an idiot. The end

A byeeeee bitches!!!!

Elders do a lord of the flies.

Negatus gets audited.

you are geh.

Ninnies are all finance bros. Elders get pillows.

Mathew Baynton AKA gross kangaroo nany from gasleak.

Debbie joins the french revolution

Debbie saves an endangered species with phalic-ass noses.

TRANS HOTAN TRANS HOTAN

gross idiot for 10 minutes

Oh no! Old

Boo.

knockoff batman is Mr. Cav.

# dick smellz

NEGATUS IS IMPOSTER

if you’re not pretty you fucking die

travel take da pain away.

Christmas

insert balls joke Elder Vex wears sweater. Balls joke. the end :3

[ailendolin]

Whump Wednesday - 24 - Yonderland

Title: Scratchy [AO3]

Fandom: Yonderland

Characters: Negatus, Debbie, Voltari, Ho-Tan, Vex, Dissectus, Wizard Bradley & his Mojo, the Monks, the Gallants, the Youngers

Prompt: Negatus and Debbie have a night out and get drunk. - Prompt by this lovely anon.

Warnings: Childhood trauma, animal death (canon, past, non-graphic)

A/N: I didn't manage the night out and getting drunk part but I hope the two of them having a talk at Debbie's birthday party works just as well and you still enjoy your story, anon! This is very loosely set in the same universe as my Disstari fics but all you need to know from that is that Voltari and Dissectus turned good and are now living with the Elders.

Prompts are open, so if you want me to write a story for you as well just send me an ask with the fandom, characters and your prompt. I’m writing for Ghosts, Yonderland, Horrible Histories and Bill at the moment.

Six Idiots Whump Wednesday / Fluff Friday masterlist is here.

————

Scratchy

“You know, you’re really not as evil as you like to think you are.”

Negatus choked on his drink. “Say what now?”

Debbie pulled the bottle from his hand before he had the chance to stop her and absentmindedly placed it on the other end of the table, out of his reach. “Just think about it: you helped us defeat Cuddly Dick –“

“And then I turned on you,” Negatus pointed out.

“– were a great team player when he had that football match –“

“And then I turned on you,” Negatus repeated.

“– saved Ho-Tan’s rabbit from certain death –“

“And then I – no, wait, I actually did save that rabbit,” Negatus said. “Cute little thing it was too.”

Debbie smiled at him. “And now here you are, in my kitchen, celebrating my birthday with me!”

“Can’t say I saw that coming,” Negatus muttered to himself.

Debbie chuckled and lightly bumped her shoulder against his. “I don’t think anyone did. But look around you, Negatus. Look how far we’ve all come.”

He followed her gaze around the room. His demons were currently fighting a fierce battle with Elders Pressley and Choop as well as Brother Marcus on Debbie’s version of the Game Thing. Behind them, Dissectus was locked in a vicious contest of Twister with Brother Ian and Wizard Bradley while Mojo, Elf and Elder Vex took turns spinning the little thingy that apparently told the others where to put their hands and feet. Negatus hadn’t really listened when Debbie explained the rules.

Upstairs, he presumed the Gallants, Elder Flowers and the Elders’ Youngers were still busy making cute noises at two small animals Debbie had called hamsters. Negatus failed to see what was so adorable about the tiny fluff balls, though; one of the little buggers had tried to bite him when he picked it up. They were vicious creatures, those hamsters.

Brother Anthony, Negatus believed, was still on his way up the stairs to join them, aided by an admirably patient Brother Barry, while behind him at the kitchen counter, Elder Ho-Tan and Voltari were poring over a book they had found on Debbie’s shelf – the Lord of something or another. Negatus wouldn’t be caught dead picking up a book with that many pages but the two of them seemed to enjoy themselves.

If talking gibberish counted as enjoyment.

Seriously, Negatus thought. What the hell are hobbits and why does Ho-Tan think Voltari would make a great elf?

He didn’t get it. Shaking his head, he turned away from them. His eyes landed on his beer bottle and he eyed it longingly.

“Well,” he said as casually as he could while sneaking his hand slowly across the table towards the bottle, “I just came here for the free drinks.”

“No, you didn’t,” Debbie said far too smugly. “Or you wouldn’t have brought me a present.”

Negatus glanced at the drawing of himself and the demons he had given her. It hung on the fridge. “It’s not a pressie. It’s a reminder of what Evil lurks beyond your kitchen cupboard.”

He definitely did not pout when Debbie laughed in his face.

“Oh please,” she said. “There are currently three Evil Overlords in my house. The neighbour’s cat is more evil than all of you put together.”

“I take offense at that,” Negatus sniffed. His fingers were just about to close around the bottle when Debbie picked it up and put it away along with her own. He sighed.

“Why are you so set on being evil anyway?” Debbie asked. “I mean, look at Voltari and Dissectus. The moment they had a chance at a better life they seized it, and as far as I can tell they don’t regret it. So what’s holding you back, Negatus? Why can’t you let go of the past?”

Negatus dropped his eyes to the table. He had to admit Debbie had a point about Dissectus and Voltari. A few months with the Elders and he hardly recognised the two. They didn’t raise their eyebrows in disdain anymore when they saw him or rolled their eyes, and the bullying and name-calling had also stopped. They had even apologised for the way they had treated him before. Negatus still couldn’t quite believe that had actually happened. It was like Dissectus and Voltari’s whole lives as Evil Overlords had been a lie – a carefully crafted one they had been forced to spin anew each day and couldn’t escape without outside help.  

And therein lay the problem: Negatus had never pretended to be someone he was not, at least not to this extent. He had never really wanted out like Dissectus and Voltari apparently had. He’d been happy with his life. Granted, he could have done without the whole Anous business and certainly without Imperatrix nosing around all the time but overall his life as an Evil Overlord had been pretty good and Negatus liked it the way it was – even if that sometimes meant watching the telly alone in the evening and having no one around to laugh at a silly joke with.

He shrugged in reply to Debbie’s question. “Nothing’s holding me back.”

Debbie gave him a sceptical look.

“What about all this, then?” she asked and gestured at the party going on around them. “Isn’t it nice to get out of your dark and evil fortress for a little bit and be around other people? To have fun?”

From the living room, Neil shouted, “It is!”

Rita and Jeff nodded vigorously before they returned their full attention to the game in front of them.

Negatus sighed. Traitors. “Alright, yes. It is nice. Are you happy now?”

Debbie’s eyes softened and she leaned a little closer. “I think the question should be rather: are you?”

Negatus glanced away from her and swallowed audibly. What did that even mean – being happy? He looked around the room again, saw his demons high-fiving each other and Brother Ian fist-bumping the air after winning another round at each of their respective games, heard the Youngers coo from upstairs and the Gallants compliment the fluff balls with increasingly flowery language while Voltari laughed at something Ho-Tan pointed out on the page to him.

Happiness took on many shapes and forms and in one way or another, Negatus had experienced all of them before at different points of his life. But had he ever been truly happy?

A memory he had pushed into the deepest, darkest corner of his mind lit up softly, and he saw a little dog with fluffy ears and big brown eyes looking up at him. Trusting him. Loving him like only a dog could.

Scratchy.

He had been his loyal companion for two years until his father had done the unspeakable to teach him a lesson.

Negatus blinked and a tear dropped down his face. He hurriedly wiped it away.

“Negatus,” Debbie said softly, her face doing that thing that always made his stomach clench uncomfortably with guilt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to–“

“No, it’s alright,” Negatus sniffed. “I was just remembering my dog. Scratchy. He … he made me happy.”

Debbie’s eyes softened. “What happened to him?”

The memory hit him without warning. Negatus could almost smell the pie as his father set it down in front of him, laughing. It was nauseating, and he shook his head to force it all away, the smell, the sound, the horrible feeling of loss.

A hand landed on his shoulder. It was larger and heavier than Debbie’s would be and when Negatus looked up Voltari was standing behind him with Elder Ho-Tan at his side, his jaw set in an angry line and his shoulders tense.  

“You don’t want to know,” he told Debbie before he glanced at Negatus and gave him a nod that spoke volumes. “I had a cat once.”

It was all he offered by way of explanation and all that was needed. They both knew the specifics didn’t matter; only the loss they shared.

“I’m sorry,” Negatus said quietly.

Voltari squeezed his shoulder. “So am I.”

He pulled away and shook his head when Elder Ho-Tan opened her mouth to say something, undoubtedly wondering what all this was about. Debbie wore a similarly confused expression on her face but instead of asking him about Scratchy the moment Voltari and Ho-Tan had gone back to their book, she reached out and placed her hand on his arm. “Don’t you think it’s time to get a little of that feeling Scratchy gave you back?”

Her voice was very soft and gentle and Negatus blinked at her, not quite understanding what she meant. “Are you telling me to get another dog?”

Debbie huffed out a quiet laugh. “No, not quite. But I’ll gladly go with you to the shelter if you’re thinking of adopting one.” Her smile softened. “No, what I meant was: don’t keep locking yourself into your fortress, Negatus. You have friends here – friends who’d be very happy to see you around more often.”

Friends. Negatus mulled the word over. Scratchy had been the last true friend he’d had, perhaps the only one, and he would hold that questionable honour for the rest of Negatus's life if something didn’t change – if he didn’t change. No one would come knocking at his door and ask him to be their friend. He had to get out there and actively look for them, and Debbie’s house was as good a place as any to start. This weird group of people that had accumulated here today for her birthday should by no rights get along but they did and maybe, just maybe, there was a place for Negatus among them.

He offered Debbie a small, honest smile. “I’ll think about it.”

“Let’s drink to that.”

She opened up a bottle of something that smelled sweet and fuzzy. The others crowded around them, holding up their glasses, and with Voltari to his left and Debbie to his right, Negatus suddenly found himself feeling something he hadn’t in a very long time: like he belonged.

“To friends!” Debbie toasted, lifting her glass with a huge smile.

“To friends!” the others echoed loudly.

Elder Vex visibly startled at the sudden noise. Elder Ho-Tan was at his side at once, soothing him with quiet words and a gentle touch to his arm. The other Elders’ eyes were on them and so were Dissectus and Voltari’s, silently making sure Elder Vex was all right. They were all ready to step in at a moment’s notice and offer their support, and in that moment Negatus realised he wanted that too – wanted people to look out for him and, perhaps even more importantly, look out for them in return.

Well, he thought, draining his glass. No time like the present.

Aided by liquid courage, he moved around the table to Elder Vex’s side. “Are you okay?”

Elder Vex blinked up at him in surprise, the look on his face almost owlish.

This was a mistake, Negatus realised. He panicked but before he could think of a way to apologise without losing face the surprise on Elder Vex’s face melted into a smile and he said, “Yes, I think so. Thank you for asking, Negatus.”

A rush of relief went through Negatus and left his knees shaking.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he said, trying to play it cool. “Anytime.”  

Elder Vex pointed at the Twister mat behind him. “Do you want to join us for a round? Between you and me, Dissectus and the wizard really are no match for Brother Ian. He could use some proper competition.”

“I heard that,” Dissectus grumbled from the other side of the table.

“And so did I,” Wizard Bradley said while his Mojo cackled with glee.

Elder Vex shrugged and made a noise that couldn’t possibly be a word. “Eh, it’s true. So – are you in, Negatus?”

Negatus glanced over his shoulder at Debbie. She was giving him two thumbs up and beside her, Voltari’s lips twitched into a faint smile that seemed to say, “Go on. They’re all crazy but I promise you won’t regret it.”

Turning back to Elder Vex, Negatus nodded. “Let’s show the scrawny monk who’s boss!”

Twenty minutes later he collapsed onto the Twister mat feeling like he’d just run from Yonderland to Hitherland and back again. Brother Ian was grinning down at him in triumph, offering him his hand. “Want to play another round?”

Negatus let himself be pulled to his feet. “This time you will learn what defeat tastes like!”

(Brother Ian didn’t lose a single game that night. To his own surprise, Negatus didn’t mind one bit.)

[ailendolin]

Deb beh for the ask game ?

Vex, is that you? 😂

One aspect about them I love:

That she’s an ordinary woman. Most heroes nowadays have some kind of special power but Debbie, apart from her Yonderland heritage, is just a mum in her thirties who also happens to be the Chosen One. Her common sense, her compassion and her willingness to help people in need is what makes her special, not any superpowers. Her story is less like the Avengers or Harry Potter’s and more like Frodo’s – and ordinary person just trying to do the right thing – and I love that.

One aspect I wish more people understood about them:

Is there even Debbie discourse out there? I have no idea. The only thing I can think of is that people might have different opinions about her not telling Pete about Yonderland. On one hand, I really wish she would have told him because we’ve seen Pete’s reaction in the Pipple Fruit episode and know he’s going to be completely on board with all the craziness. On the other, I also get why Debbie didn't. By the end of the show she’s sort of reached that point where she kept it a secret for too long. She missed the right moment to talk about it. It would probably feel really awkward now to bring it up and have to explain why she hasn’t said anything for years.

One (or more) headcanon(s) I have about this character:

Once she finally gathers up the courage to tell Pete about Yonderland, she’s very happy to take him along with her (she can’t wait to show him who Ted Higgins from Number 73 really is). Not the kids, though. Yonderland has people-eating plants, monsters in the woods and very overcrowded streets where children could easily get lost. There’s no way she’s taking the twins there, at least not until the novelty’s worn off for Pete and she can actually rely on him to keep an eye on them.

The day their whole family goes to Yonderland for the first time is both the longest, scariest and most exciting day of her life. She’s never seen her kids so immediately at home anywhere before and it makes her feel a bit bad for having denied them this for so long. Her favourite moment of the day is when they visit the Elders and the twins immediately climb up onto the seats so they can sit on Choop’s lap. Debbie tries to take a picture of the moment but nearly drops her phone when Vex says, “Aw look at them. Almost ready to take their places on the council.”

They add the blurry picture to the family album anyway.

One character I love seeing them interact with:

Elf. I just love their friendship so much. One of my favourite running gags in the show is Debbie going, “Hearts and minds,” and Elf randomly naming other body parts because he doesn’t know the saying. I love how that cultural confusion goes both ways and pops up in their conversations every now and then.

One character I wish they would interact with/interact with more:

I would just repeat myself if I said Ho-Tan and Choop so let's say Negatus. I loved the few little glimpses at a possible alliance / friendship we got to see throughout the show and I’m a bit sad that never really went anywhere. I really want Debbie to find out about Santa Negatus and maybe persuade him to play Santa for her kids next year. That could be a great bonding moment for them and I’m sure Negatus and the demons wouldn't mind.

One (or more) headcanon(s) I have that involve them and one other character:

Debbie let Boo stay in her home after he saved the twins’ birthday party. She made him a bed out of blankets up in the attic and he almost started crying when she led him upstairs because it’s been such a long time since anyone has been kind to him and actually wanted him around. By the time morning arrives she's come up with a plan to help him find his footing again in Yonderland - after all, children everywhere were the same and if hers found him funny, it stood to reason the ones in Yonderland would as well.

She asks Wizard Bradley and his Mojo to take Boo under their wings and show him how to perform in front of a crowd. With their help, Boo quickly learns what works well and what doesn’t. The next time Debbie sees him in the market square, there’s a huge crowd gathered around him, laughing at his calculated mishaps, and Boo is beaming with happiness.

“He’s a good kid,” Wizard Bradley says.

Debbie smiles. “He is.”

Already answered: Nigel, Thomas, Robin, Pat, Kitty, Julian, Vex, Choop and Ho-Tan

Next up: Flowers

Ask game can be found here.

[ailendolin]

I was just wondering, who are your character yonderland characters and (possible) friendships?

Is it cheating if I say all of them? 😂

Seriously though, one of my favourite things about Yonderland is that this show somehow manages to make you care about every single character in it. Doesn't matter if they're a main character or an Evil Overlord who walks into a bathroom, looks around and leaves without saying a word and is never seen again - you will end up loving them and wanting to see more of them.

I will try to narrow it down to one minor character for each of the Six Idiots since we all know I adore Debbie, the Elders and the Evil Overlords.

Wizard Bradley and his Mojo I really, really love the idea of taking the phrase "losing one's mojo" literally. I remember thinking, "That's genius!" when I watched Yonderland for the first time and in that moment I knew I would love this show. Wizard Bradley and his Mojo are probably my most favourite minor characters in it. They go through so many ups and downs in their episode and I just love their journey and friendship so much.

Mat's Page This character owns my heart and I blame Mat's puppy dog eyes for that. I really like the bits of lore we get on knights and pages in his episode and how he dares to defy the system and becomes a hero in the end (with a little help from Debbie).

Simon the puppet I nearly spat out my drink the first time I saw the scene where it looks like Simon's a ventriloquist except then you realise he's actually the puppet and the puppet is the ventriloquist. Like, my mind was blown. Simon does the 'cut strings' moment so well and this character of his brings me pure joy every time I see him.

Tuneantula Look, I know everyone loves the Crone and she's great but the Tuneantula for me is Jim's greatest minor Yonderland character. The concept and costume for one are incredible and I love the singing! His voice sounds incredible in Elvis mode and the whole scene just makes me grin every time.

Cake Bake Lady Sue I just love her, okay? The way Ben says the line, "I'm gonna fix bayonets," never fails to make me laugh and the character design is hilarious. I mean, what is even going on with her chest? Lol. I bet he, Jim and Larry had a lot of fun with their costume fitting for those roles.

Rita I know she's a main character but since Martha doesn't play many roles besides Debbie I'll go with Rita for her because I love the demons and Rita is smart, has a great voice and her not so subtle crush on Negatus is a great running gag.

Honourary mentions: Boo, Anous, Ellis of Woolworth, Chamberlain, the Crone, the Oracle, Ninny Dave and the Bird and the Bee.

My favourite friendships include Debbie & Elf, the Elders, the Elders' Youngers, Wizard Bradley and his Mojo, the Kissing Cousins, Monk, Monk, Monk & Monk, the Gallants, the demons and of course, Dissectus and Voltari.

In terms of possible friendships, well... I don't really want to self-promote my fics here but I have grown very fond of Billy and Charles (Mat's Page and Larry's Chamberlain) while writing Ready. Figuring out their dynamic was really fun and I love the relationship I built between them. In the sequel to that fic, I've also started to explore the idea of a friendship between Ellis of Woolworth and Charles the Chamberlain. It's not the focus of the story but I am hinting at a bit of backstory between them which I hope to explore in another fic one day. And of course this list wouldn't be complete if I didn't mention Ho-Tan and Voltari. Those two are always such a joy to write and I'm happy to say we'll see a bit more of them in next week's Whump Wednesday installment.

[pinketts]

Yonderland Series 1: Episodes

The Chosen Mum: 10 out of 10 Debbie of Maddoxes (The Of is Optional)

“Trevor, you’re a blob.”

What exactly are the rules of What’s In the Box?

“I’m just here about the portal, but maybe you’re bonkers too. I don’t know. I’m not a doctor.”

[”Can’t I just call you Elf?”] “Bit racist...”

It’s a very British thing to be so polite that you’ll fight to the death over manners.

I relate too hard to Nick the Stick.

Also I fancy John of Temple Meads. That’s just a thing.

I wish we got more of a glimpse into the domestic life of Nigel the oracle and his husband.

“I too know the burden of beauty.”

[”If you are what they say you are...”] “A slapper?”

The Wizard Bradley: 10 out of 10 Rain Spells (Weather Permitting)

“You’re gonna feel pretty bad when they send me home dead.”

Even villains need home improvements.

Fuck you John. I hope Mary and Jenny have a happy life together.

“I think we’re all quite relieved he’s dead.”

“Do I look like a safety fence kinda guy?”

“Fate doesn’t make you ill. Ogre milk does.”

“My haaaaaat!...Can easily be replaced.”

What did Elf do before he met Debbie?

Reformation: 10 out of 10 Rashes on Your Gentleman’s Excuse Me

The continuing tale of Negatus’s Trips to YonderIkea.

“When this place gets an IMAX, it’s going to blow your mind.”

“I may be old and forgetful, but at least I’m not old and forgetful”.

BUMS

How do Pete’s suits fit all four monks of different heights and body shapes? That’s some Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants shit right there.

“It could do with a little, how you say... shut up?”

The Little Chef joke is genius.

“EAT STICK!”

[”You don’t look local.”] “If anything you look...distant.”

The Ultimate Prize: 10 out of 10 Kissing Rounds

“We’ve got a whole tribe of Mums. No men. We don’t know how they do it.”

“Attention. This Knight is reversing.”

RIP Phillip of Woolworth. I hope you went to the great Sexual Harassment Training Course in the Sky.

All the women in this show are done with the bullshit of men, and I love it.

“Council of Idiots more like!...It’s times like these you wish you had buddies.”

“I’m gonna have to sell my ass. And I love that donkey.”

“25 years on the..er...in the Games.”

I’d watch the Olympics if there was a Kissing Round and if I could participate with that Page what who said that

Closing the Portal: 10 out of 10 Yonderland’s Versions of the Clap (so just...don’t)

Favourite episode this series!

[“I missed the beanbag relay!”] “I only know half those words.”

The Gesundheit men have hair like candyfloss.

“It grew back! Fingers crossed for the other one! Magic times!”

“You want to sleep on a plank? DO IT! You want to marry a balloon? DO IT! You want to kiss a wizard passionately on the face? DO IT!”

Ennythingos reminds me of Spooky Island from the Scooby Doo movie.

Bombero, you shouldn’t be licking another man’s wife.

Bombero would probably have scared me as a kid. As an adult...different feelings. Ahem.

“Let’s go out clubbing! And then get chips! And watch Dirty Dancing! Zzzzzzzzz.”

“Oh Debbie of excellent skin and nice legs.”

The Parvuli are excellent singers, cute, and fantastic passive-aggressive guilt trippers.

The Idiot King: 10 out of 10 Intoxicating Smells (It's Harpic)

“2 for the price of...none.”

Geography clearly not big on the Yonderland educational curriculum.

Servant Larry has the levels of sarcasm I wish I could use at work.

“Stop the mobility sleigh!”

“What’s a royal seed without a fertile seed to germinate?”

Pervert tree

“I do a LOT of tapestry.”

“Mother FISHCAKES.”

Elf is exactly why I wouldn’t trust anyone else to clean my house. 

The Heart of the Sun: 10 out of 10 Argos the Sun Gods

“I would suggest an election, but the cleverest doesn’t always end up in charge!”

Everything Kendall does is amazing

"You wanna give Daddy some suuugar?"

"Oh, my final embrace! Oh she squeeze so tightly!"

"Just been home to make a tape with the wife!"

"He was weird, right?"

This Neil-Rita-Negatus love triangle is weird AF.

Dirty Ernie: 10 out of 10 Alternative Lifestyle Gurus

Thank you for the gift of naked Mat again. (Seriously I'm not a pervert)

The demons and their bad interrogative techniques

Negatus, an evil overlord, is offended that people think he's bad.

I love the Gallants and I definitely did not make any rude comments about how I would like to swell John of Temple Mead's ranks.

Perfect fourth wall break there.

"Note to self, do quieter asides"

"Let's just live in sin?"

“Your meagre bullets are no match for our swords!"

"[What would Debbie do?] Be a woman? Wear a bra? Am I getting warm?"

"[Buy two properties and get a free... pen!] What colour is pen?"